#the last update was around a month ago too.. i might need to reread it from start to the latest chapter 😭

[scrimbum]

got reminded of a fanfiction i've read back in 2019 that wasn't completed, checked ao3 just now and IT'S STILL GOING!!! it's been 5 years man, im impressed to the commitment of still being in the fandom and wanting to finish a story this long

[qqueenofhades]

Hi Hilary. I want you to know how much your writing is brightening a sad Christmas for me. If you're still taking requests I'd love to see Ivan and Fedyor coming back together after being parted for a long time.

Doesn't have to be the 'big' parting, just anything for a significant length of time. I miss the husbands, and I'm rereading all my fave old fics.

It has been almost a month on the road, slogging through the frozen wastes of Tsibeya after an especially ill-advised invasion attempt of eastern Fjerda ended in predictable failure, and Ivan is gaunt, cold, filthy, sporting an especially scruffy beard that he loathes with the fire of a thousand splendid suns, and otherwise more than ready for the comforts of home, in more ways than one. He's normally impervious to whatever discomforts the field can throw at him, but they're more bearable when he's with Fedyor, and they've spent almost all of the last year apart -- Ivan directing the northern theater against the Fjerdans and Fedyor tied up with operations against Shu Han in the south -- and since the tsar's never-ending war is going even more stupidly than usual and they have very little to show for it, Ivan is therefore most displeased at this enforced separation.

As the dispirited caravan creaks and clanks through the gates of Os Alta, Ivan and Kirigan riding side by side at the head of the column and trying to look like this is a triumphal homecoming instead of a humiliating defeat, Ivan turns his head in all directions. The southern campaign broke off several weeks ago at least, according to the spies, and they were also obliged to beat a retreat northward to the capital. Not that this is an outcome to cover themselves in glory either, but at least it means Fedyor might be home.

Ivan swings down from his saddle, issues a few terse replies to the assorted underlings who swan up with assorted idiotic questions (his purpose is to deflect them from Kirigan, but he sorely needs a hench-henchman whose purpose is to deflect idiotic questions from him) and looks around again as if his head is on a pivot, barely listening to anyone or able to offer any explanations or strategic advisements. Fedyor is here, right? The fucking Shu didn't pull some funny trick at the last moment and either delay their return or -- Saints forbid -- even worse? Bad enough to be returning from the imbroglio in Fjerda with nothing to show for it, but if something happened to Fedyor --

Just as Ivan is about to properly spiral off the handle, he senses a familiar warm presence in the alcove nearby, waiting for him to finish his duties and come to meet him, and flatly ignores the First Army lieutenant pressing for a detailed status update. Ivan shoves past him, then breaks into a run, ducking under the eaves. "Fedyor!"

Fedyor grins at him, dark eyes dancing and dimples doing that stupid thing they do that causes Ivan's heart to perform all number of absurd calisthenics. "About time, don't you -- "

Whatever else he's going to say is cut off as Ivan grabs him into a rough, hungry kiss, dragging Fedyor off his feet, whirling him around, and pushing him up against the back wall of the cloisters. He almost doesn't care if anyone sees them (besides, they're all too terrified to ever say a word), and takes his time about kissing Fedyor slow and thoroughly, until he is good and properly ready to stop (or rather, pause for breath). Then he growls, "Yes, I would damn well say it is."

They have had one too many close calls with nearly being caught by Kirigan and/or some other officious underling walking in on them when they didn't bother to get all the way to to their room first, so they do, though it's a terrible strain to keep their hands off each other that long. Then they slam the door, shed their keftas, and get around to reuniting properly. There is that one upside to being separated for so long, Ivan thinks dizzily. It does make the reunion especially sweet.

Afterward, they lie in bed curled up in a tangle of limbs, Fedyor's head resting on Ivan's chest and his fingers lightly stroking and Healing away the worst of Ivan's new crop of scars. He doesn't bother to ask how Ivan got them, but Ivan can sense his consternation in the particular ferocity of his touch. "It's all right," he murmurs. "I'm fine."

"You always say that." Fedyor sighs. "You are, I hope, at least back until spring?"

Ivan shrugs. It's a week until the Winter Fete, when combat operations are technically forbidden by the Faith and when everyone just wants to huddle up by a warm fire and drink hot kvas, but there's no way to say for sure. Still, he doesn't want to spoil their reunion with such talk. So he just rolls them over, puts Fedyor on his back, and takes his time about reminding him that they are here, now, together, alive, real. And that -- as ever, as always -- is all that truly matters.

[highqueenofelfhame]

no tag list bc im posting this from my phone and am too lazy so pls reblog so this gets traction! thank you for reading and follow @highqueenofelfhamewrites for better and more frequent updates and turn on post notifications! i might do away with tag lists soon idk. the whitethorn kids are headcanons from @musicmaam and i so i hope you love the babies we love them very much and becca is a mastermind

masterlist

Outside, it was a still and quiet morning. Despite the sun having risen hours ago, the sky remained a murky gray. Dew clung to the grass and a light fog remained settled over the landscape. It looked cold and like the kind of day that would usually have Aelin curled up in the study, a roaring fire warming the room while she sat in one of the oversized leather chairs and reread a favorite book. Rowan knew that once outside, the cool air would be a sharp bite at his skin. It’s how Terrasen always was in early November.

Instead of reading, though, Aelin was staring at her side of the closet. Her fingers nervously tapped above her elbow while she surveyed dresses and pantsuits, jackets and turtlenecks. More than once she had murmured that she never knew what to wear, and more than once he had told her that it really didn’t matter and she would look beautiful all the same.

A level below, Rowan heard the front door open and close, followed by their oldest son, Arden shouting up the stairs that they were home. They referred to him and his boyfriend, Jamie, and Aelin and Rowan’s oldest, Evalin. The three had driven from the University of Orynth on the other side of the city to the family’s house on the outskirts of town.

Genevieve, Declan, and Endymion, the younger half of the Whitethorn kids, were all getting ready. Genny had been up with the sun to make breakfast for everyone, her hands sticky with cream cheese frosting and cinnamon by the time she had finished. Declan and Endy were down the hall, fighting for counter space in their shared bathroom while Genevieve finished up at the vanity Rowan had built her last year in her bedroom.

More noise followed the voices downstairs turned to a quiet murmur as Rowan approached his wife and rested his hand on her lower back. Aelin leaned back on her heels and into his touch, turning her head slightly. Rowan pressed a kiss to her temple and she shivered, reaching out for the dress that he knew she’d end up picking. It was his favorite.

“Perfect choice, fireheart,” he murmured, rubbing his hand across her middle back as she sighed and pulled it off the hanger that she dropped to the floor. Rowan chuckled to himself, nudging it toward her pile of shoes as he followed her back out into their bedroom.

Rowan was already showered and dressed. He wore a simple black suit with Aelin’s favorite dark green tie— one that she claimed brought out his eyes, though Rowan hadn’t noticed a single difference as he tied it around his neck.

“You are worrying about nothing,” he murmured into her hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. Aelin shuddered a sigh, licking her lips as she turned to look at Rowan over her shoulder. Their eyes met for a single heartbeat before moving to the door.

“I hope Arden and Evie remembered to pick everything up this morning.”

“I’ll go check,” he promised, squeezing her shoulder before walking away. Rowan paused in the doorway, turning to look at his anxious wife. She stood in front of the window, dress draped over one arm while she twisted her wedding band around her finger. It made his heart squeeze in the most painful way, but he left her and jogged down the stairs to where the rest of his family mingled in the kitchen.

Entirely typical of his children, none of them looked up when he entered. Gen was dressed in leggings and an oversized sweater, manning the stove to make everyone else eggs. Endy and Declan were arguing over who got the cinnamon roll in the center of the pan: it was the most gooey and beheld more icing than the others. Declan won out in the end, but only because Genevieve pointed a spatula at Endymion to remind him of a petty crime he’d committed against her the day before.

“You don’t deserve that cinnamon roll. You know what you did.” Endy snorted, but relented, allowing Declan to eagerly swoop in for the golden treat. A large dollop of icing slipped off the side, barely making it onto his plate as he did. Endymion sighed wistfully, likely dreaming of how good that would have been in his stomach instead of his brothers. Rowan laughed to himself, ruffling Endy’s hair as he walked by. His youngest shrugged him off with a shiver, lips pulling down into a frown while he looked over at his father, then to his older sister as she walked into the room.

“Has mom been down yet?”

“She’s still upstairs,” Rowan said, while the other kids mumbled that she’d yet to come down. Arden and Jamie slid into the empty barstools at the counter, accepting plates of bacon and eggs from Genevieve. “Can someone go check on her?”

“I’ll go,” Evie decided, heading up toward Rowan and Aelin’s bedroom, stairs creaking with every step.

Genevieve was watching Evalin up until she disappeared at the top of the landing, her lips twisting to the side as she shifted to turn the stove off. The kitchen settled into a comfortable silence, the scraping of forks the only disruption. Genny poked at the cinnamon roll she’d chosen for herself before pushing it away, toward Endy.

“I can’t eat,” she said quietly, tapping her phone screen, the time blinking up at her before it went dark again. It seemed that Endy could eat, however, because he pulled her plate over and dove into her cinnamon roll immediately after finishing his. It was almost enough to make her smile but she seemed to be fighting it off. Rowan moved to wrap his arm around his daughter, but she shrugged out of his embrace and disappeared up the stairs. If he had to guess, she was joining Aelin and Evalin.

“I’m worried about her,” Rowan and Arden said at the same time, the former cracking a half smile.

“Me too,” Endymion agreed, fingernail tapping against the counter while he looked over his shoulder. Rowan opened his mouth to speak, but the soft closing of a door followed by the squeak of the top stair silenced him. A moment later, his three girls were filing into the kitchen. Aelin hugged each of her babies, pressing kisses to their cheeks that they didn’t shy away from.

“We ready?” Arden asked, picking up the bag he’d brought in with him. Aelin nodded and rubbed her hand over Genny’s upper back.

Genevieve had always been the most anxious of their kids in the worst way. Over the last year, her panic attacks had only gotten worse and nobody really knew how to help her. A few months ago, she had finally caved and agreed to start taking medicine for it when she needed to. Judging by the way she stood, worrying her lip and twining the ends of her silver hair into tiny braids, Rowan wondered if she was already debating taking one of those pills to keep the monsters of the day at bay.

The ride was quiet. The only conversation consisted of Aelin and Rowan asking Evalin, Jamie, and Arden about their college courses. The youngest three Whitethorns stayed quiet and listened while looking out the windows and tapping on their phones. No music filled the empty silences— the last five minutes was nothing but garbled road noise and turn signals, the occasional sniffle of a nose, or a small sigh.

When the car was put in park, nobody moved immediately. Aelin stared through the windshield, fingers drumming on the gear shift. Rowan lay his on top of hers, but she didn’t look over at him. Instead, she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and, after several heartbeats, nodded. Only then did the kids file out of the back seats, Genevieve going to take her mother’s left hand while Arden took her right. Rowan walked beside Endymion and attempted to steady his son when he stumbled over a rock that was hidden in the grass.

They walked through the cemetery, moving by headstone after headstone. Some of them were large and ornate weeping angels, others were crosses jutting out of the ground. A fair few were simple concrete rectangles in the ground with a vase for flowers. The one they came to stop at was something in between.

It was about two feet high in the middle of the graveyard, simple text embedded into the shiny quartzite stone. A large hawk had been carved into its surface, wings spread wide mid-flight, beak parted as though it were releasing a fierce battle-cry. There was no vase for flowers anywhere near it. Instead, piles of stones were left all around it. They were in all shapes, sizes, and colors. One had a painted hawk on the surface that he knew Genevieve’s boyfriend had left behind at the funeral last year.

Arden placed the bag he carried on the ground and they let Aelin be the first to pick her stone. She picked a large smooth one, a paler gray than the headstone itself that fit perfectly in her palm. She folded her legs beneath her body as she knelt before it, trembling fingers tracing over the name.

ROWAN M. WHITETHORN

JULY 16, 1970 - NOVEMBER 11, 2020

HUSBAND. FATHER. HERO.

TO WHATEVER END.

A breeze shifted through the air, moving Aelin’s hair across her face and she could have sworn it was warm. She could have sworn she smelled the familiar pine and snow scent that she would always and forever associate with her husband. Aelin could have sworn it felt like a lover’s caress, like fingers brushing away the tear that slipped down her cheek.

Aelin wasn’t sure how long she sat there, surrounded by their children. Each of them swapped their favorite stories about their late father, about what they missed most. All of them cried enough tears that Terrasen could hit a rare drought but the patch of grass they held each other in would still be green as ever.

When they finally stood, the air had dropped a few more degrees because the sun had never come out to keep them warm. It made that fleeting warm breeze even more bizarre, the one that smelled like him, considering the one that rustled the leaves on the nearby tree was cold enough to bite.

Out of the corner of her eye, she swore she saw him. She swore she saw a head of silver hair sock his head in her direction, but she blinked and he was gone, her oldest son stepping up in the place she thought she saw him, felt him, smelled him. Silver hair faded into a golden blonde that matched her own, but the eyes that peered down at her were as bright green as his father’s. Aelin felt her face crumple as she leaned into him, resting her temple against his shoulder. She inhaled hard, desperate for that pine scent to feel her lungs, desperate to erase the last year of her life without him. Desperate to pretend that he was still alive and it was his shoulder that she put her weight on.

But it wasn’t. And it wouldn’t be.

Still, as she looped her arm through his and started to walk back toward the car with their kids, she spared a last glance over her shoulder, projecting their vows into the void of the world: to whatever end.

She wasn’t sure what it was, but Aelin was almost positive she heard his voice whisper it back as another strange, warm breeze wrapped around her and left her completely breathless.

[honeypwark]

[ Riverside ]

  ↳ Gone Days era

       ↳ Xiang interrupts Chan and Jisung. She and Chan take a walk. She finally tells someone.

Note: Maybe reread Quitter and Turbulence before reading?

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains a detailed explanation of how Xiang developed and lived with her eating disorder. Please do not read if this is triggering for you.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Chan sits at his desk with Jisung beside him, explaining how different chords in the same spot will change the feel of the song and he should choose based on what vibe he wants the song to have.

“I kind of want it to not just cut off. Like it’s leading to more even after the song’s ended.”

“G7 might work better then.”

“G7...?”

Chan plays the chord on the keyboard to his left.

“Oh, got it.”

“As opposed to G.” He plays said chord.

“Alright. And for the second verse I wanted to-“

There’s a soft knock on the door, “Chris?”

Chan turns in his desk chair, his attention immediately going to the girl that walks into the room.

“Hey, Sophie.”

It’s been three days since Xiang’s breakdown in the bathroom at four in the morning. The next morning, Xiang had promised she’d talk to Chan about what caused it but she’d need time. He gave her time, not even mentioning what had happened. Of course, without any kind of explanation, Chan has been left to worry about every little thing and see all the worst case scenarios for the last few days.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?”

“What? Is he your dog or something?”

Xiang’s eyes land on Jisung, who she hadn’t noticed when she’d entered, too tunnel visioned on finally growing a pair and talking about her issues. It took her nearly an hour to knock on Chan’s door and ask to go somewhere to talk privately. Her momentary false bravery crumbles visibly on her face as she realizes Chan is busy.

“Oh, sorry. You’re busy.”

“No, it’s fine,” Chan says quickly, stopping her from leaving. He turns to Jisung, “We’ll finish later, alright?”

Jisung is confused but nods slowly, “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Jisung watches as his leader saves everything on his computer without his usual attention to detail, scrambling out of his chair after Xiang as she walks back out of the room. He blinks after him confusedly, rolling his eyes before packing up his laptop to return to his own bedroom.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After taking a bus to Han River and walking along the riverside for about five minutes in silence, Xiang is still struggling with beginning to lay it all out for Chan. She squeezes the linings of her jacket pockets, the joints of her fingers aching from the strength behind it.

“Do you want to sit?” Chan asks, pointing toward a bench they’re approaching.

“Not really.”

“Okay.”

Xiang takes a deep breath in. She breathes it out slowly. She relaxes her hands in her pockets.

“I have an eating disorder.”

Chan wishes he could say that her admitting that makes everything fall into place. That he can say he’s noticed her acting strange. That he can admit he’s been worried about her weight loss. But he can’t. Because he didn’t notice those things. He’s aware of her weight loss (she‘s trended on Naver a few times because of her light weight) but he never thought of it as the outcome of something terrible. Dammit, he should have.

“Y-You do?” he stammers.

“Yeah. It probably started when our manager told me the company wanted me to lose weight. I don’t blame him, I really don’t. He was just doing his job. But... it got me thinking and I decided to eat less and work out more and that’s where it all started. It wasn’t that bad to begin with. I had control of what I was doing and it was like being in a diet. I’ve never been the most mentally sound person; I have clinically diagnosed anxiety, depression, and depersonalization but that’s a whole other can of worms.”

Now that she’s started, it’s easier to lay it all out.

“After I decided to eat less, I started skipping meals. In my mind it made sense. To lose weight, eat less. So I did. I started lying to you and the others about eating, saying I had when I hadn’t or that I wasn’t hungry when I was. It went on like that for a while, just not eating and working out a lot more. But I felt so guilty when I did eat. When I couldn’t avoid it.

“So I started making myself throw up. It all piled on top of each other and I barely ever ate and kept it down. I probably started eating a meal or two every three or four days. For a while that’s what I did. I lost so much weight. It was so unhealthy. I weighed myself before we left for tour in America and I was 37.6 kilograms.

“I felt like I was going to pass out during the entire performance in New York. I only woke up at six in the evening the next day. I was scared that the next time I went to sleep, I wouldn’t wake up. That my body would just give out on me. So I went and ate pizza with the younger boys. I started eating at least once a day because I had to do my job. I still didn’t eat enough but... it was something.

“And that should have been good. I should have been proud of myself for starting to take care of myself but I wasn’t. I hated myself for eating. I started gaining weight. I realized one night that what I thought I had control of I didn’t because I can’t control how much I hate myself.

“I went out with Yeosu one night and I ate more than I had in such a long time. I felt so guilty and I started rambling to her about my problems. But I ran away before she could even respond. I tried to stop on my own because Yeosu is so amazing and so famous and she’s mentally fine. And I got a little better. But then the company asked for an update on our weights and they told me not to get heavy again.

“It felt like doing what was best for me wasn’t what I needed to do. Like maybe this is the cost of being who I am and doing what we do. I just spiraled and I got worse than I’d ever been. That’s when you found me. I hadn’t eaten in two days and I was so hungry but I couldn’t make myself keep what I’d eaten down. I don't know how to stop doing this to myself and I want to stop but I just can't.”

Xiang takes a breath, closing her eyes for a moment.

Chan is impressed with how well Xiang has handled her emotions while explaining everything to him. Simultaneously, his heart is aching from the story she has told him and how well she’s handled her emotions. Chan can’t help but wonder how many times she has felt like the world is crashing down around her and he was none the wiser.

“When did this start? When did our manager- When did the company say you should lose weight?”

“... Late June?”

Nine months. Nine months Xiang has been dealing with her eating disorder. And before that, anxiety, depression, and personalization. Chan has his own qualms with anxiety and depression occasionally but he’s not even sure what depersonalization is. But as Xiang said, that’s a whole other can of worms.

“It’s just-,” Xiang looks for the right words to continue. “I’ve developed so much self-hatred. I never feel good enough. I never feel pretty or talented. Even with the mess my mentality has always been, I used to be able to be content with the music I make or the performances I give. Now, I just hate everything about myself. I wish I could just deal with this on my own and I'm sorry I've dragged you into this mess. But believe me I won't hold it against you if you want to back out now-"

"Sophie.”

Chan steps in front of Xiang to face her.

“I don't know how to prove to you that I will always be here for you.”

It hurts more than he would have thought when she lets out a tiny, humorless breath of a laugh, disbelieving. She takes a deep breath and looks up at the overcast sky.

“I‘m so tired of everything.”

She closes her eyes.

“I just want it to stop.”

“It will,” Chan says. “And you’re not going to deal with this alone anymore.  Know why?"

When Xiang lowers her head, Chan can see she’s barely holding back tears. She gives a minuscule shake of her head.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Nearly two and a half years ago, Xiang stood in front of Chan in a recording studio. She’d come to tell Chan she should leave the group. He’d called her a quitter and wouldn’t let her walk out on the group.

“Why can’t you just let me do this?” she asked, not understanding how Chan can’t see the problems she’s causing.

“Because I’m not giving up on you,” he responded.

Xiang swallowed, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. Chan stood and wrapped her in a hug.

“And I’m not gonna let you give up on me.”

Xiang hesitated but looped her arms around Chan.

“We’re in this together, understand?”

Xiang smiled and let her head rest on his shoulder.

“I understand.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Because I'm not giving up on you."

At the riverside, Chan pulls Xiang into a hug, wrapping his arms securely around her shoulders.

“And I’m not letting you give up on me. We’re in this together, understand?”

Over two years later, Chan has kept his word. Before she’d started starving herself, before her mental state depleted further than it had ever been, he’d told her that they are a team and he won’t let her quit on him. And he’s kept to that.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On the plane ride home to South Korea from America, Chan had comforted Xiang when she’d been anxious and fearful during turbulence. She’d thought about Chan. What he’d done for her and how he’d treated her.

Despite her self-loathing and her anxiety. And the way she’s convinced herself she’ll never be good enough. Or how she can only ever feel pretty on an empty stomach, hunger clawing at her insides in a painful way she’s grown fond of. Amidst it all, being next to Chan makes her feel safe.  Chan makes her feel safe.  Safety is something Xiang has been having a hard time finding for months now.

She realizes that if she could, she would never leave his side.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Here, beside Han River in Chan’s arms, she feels safe. She feels... loved. And the idea- the fact that Chan cares for her and has been by her side, even unknowingly, through all of this brings her to tears.

Xiang buries her face in Chan’s shoulder and wraps her arms tightly around him, crying hard into the material of his jacket. And Chan lets her. He holds her tighter against him and lets her cry, a hand coming to cradle the back of her head comfortingly. She’s safe here. She’s safe with Chan.

And she realizes that if she could, she would never leave his side.

[adenei]

Finding My Way To You - Ch. 11

AO3 || FFN

A/N: In case something looks familiar to you, yes this does include the Day 8 prompt in this chapter with a few slight alterations to fit the rest of the chapter more accurately.

**************

New Endeavors

Ron woke up the following morning to Hermione’s alarm going off. He reached over to her in an attempt to coerce her into having a longer lie-in, but he pulled back when he heard her squeal.

“No, no, no, no, I’m late! This is not good!” she said frantically. She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. 

As much as he didn’t want to see her get moving, he could certainly get used to the sight of her walking around in just her knickers and one of his shirts. Ron closed his eyes as he heard the shower turn on and replayed the night before. After they had cleared the air and spent the rest of the afternoon exploring their new relationship, they’d gone to dinner with her parents. 

Hermione had suggested she spend the day with them today, and Ron was fine with it. He knew it was important to her to reconnect, and some of that needed to be done with just the three of them. So that’s where Hermione was getting ready to head now. He heard the door open and Hermione came out wrapped only in a towel.

“I forgot to grab clothes,” she said in frustration with herself. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Not if you keep walking around in just a towel, I won’t be,” Ron said. “Are you sure you can’t come back here for a little bit?” He knew she was referring to her leaving him alone all day, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try and get a little extra time with her first.

Hermione had gathered her outfit in her arms and turned around to give him a look. “I’d love to, but I’m already late. And we both know if I crawl back in bed, I may not have the resolve to get up again.” She walked back into the bathroom. “What are you going to do all day?”

“I dunno. I’ll think of something. Don’t worry about me. Have fun with your parents.”

Hermione came out of the bathroom again and walked over to the edge of the bed. “I just feel bad.”

Ron sat up and swung his legs over the side to meet her. “Don’t. You need this time with them. That’s why we came. I’ll find something to do, and I’ll see you later tonight. Just...keep me updated, okay?” Slight worry etched across his face. He knew he was on good terms with her parents, but he still worried that she might not return. 

She must have noticed his concern because she leaned over and kissed him. “I will. I’ll see you tonight.” Ron nodded as he watched her grab her bag and head out the door. He laid in bed a while longer before finally getting up.

After getting ready for the day and finishing his breakfast, Ron made his way to to look through some of the brochures from the Australian Ministry. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the phone on the wall ring. At first he wasn’t sure what to do. It wasn’t like he answered telephones often. He reminded himself not to shout into the receiver like that awful attempt at calling Harry when he was younger.

He picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Hello, Ron? Is that you? This is Graham. Graham Jacobsen. I showed you to your flat when you first arrived.”

Ron had honestly completely forgotten all about the man. Now that he thought about it, they probably should have updated the Australian Ministry days ago. “Er, yes, hi. Is everything alright?” Ron asked.

“Yes, yes, of course! I’m just checking in to see how your search has been going and if you need any assistance!”

“It’s been great, actually. We’ve managed to locate Hermione’s parents, fairly quickly actually, and she’s been spending the last few days getting reacquainted with them.”

“Excellent, excellent! So the resources the Ministry sent over with the muggle teeth cleaners and addresses of Wilkin’s in the surrounding area were no doubt helpful, then?”

“Er, yeah,” Ron said. He wasn’t about to tell Graham that they’d actually stumbled upon Jean and Hugo by accident.

“Great. So anyways, like I said, I was asked to get an update. Since you’ve located them, we were wondering how much longer you were anticipating to stay.”

“I’m not sure. I can talk to Hermione and see if we can get a clearer answer for you tomorrow or the day after if that’s okay.”

“Yes, sure! No rush. It will just help to have an idea to prepare your portkey trip back. Let’s see, let’s see, oh yes! One more thing. You received a letter here from England through the Portkey Post. Wouldn’t want to make owls travel all this way. If you’re available, you can come pick it up at the Ministry anytime.”

A letter? Is everything alright back home? “Sure, yeah, I can actually be down there in fifteen minutes.”

“Excellent, I’ll meet you in the entrance hall. See you in a jif!” Graham said before hanging up.

Ron hung up the phone and immediately began moving around the apartment to grab his things. He figured he could spend a few hours walking around and seeing what else Melbourne had to offer from the magical side of things. Before he knew it, he was apparating to the spot Graham showed them almost a week ago, and walked the short distance to the Ministry entrance.

He had barely stepped a few paces inside when he saw Graham waving frantically. “Ron! Over here!” They met in the middle as Graham said, “So good to see you again! I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay here so far.”

“Yeah, it’s been great,” Ron agreed.

“Here’s the letter that came for you. If you want to send a response, we send our international post out at 13:00 every day. The drop box is over here.”

Ron followed him over to the box that had a small slot in it. He was curious how this system worked. Whether it was his lack of knowledge about other cultures and customs or not, he always assumed the owls just traveled the distance to their destination. Though, for a continent like Australia that was so far away from other places, he supposed this system made sense. It’d be hard for an owl to travel over an ocean with no resting points.

“Thanks.” 

“Absolutely. Well, I must be getting back to my obligations. Like I said, feel free to call if you ever need anything. Just press 9 on your dial pad and it will transfer your call to my office. A little magical touch so you don’t have to memorize a ten digit number. I look forward to hearing from you!”

Graham shook Ron’s hand before walking away. Ron looked at the letter in his hand. He didn’t want to return to the flat just to read it, so he decided to walk around a bit to find a place to sit and read what it said. There was a small park a few blocks away that Ron stumbled upon. He chose one of the vacant benches and sat down. The handwriting looked like Harry’s.

Hey Ron,

I hope you and Hermione are having luck finding her parents. It’s odd here without you two, but I’ve been keeping busy. Listen, I’m not trying to rush the process, but I wanted you to know that I met with Kingsley yesterday, and he said they’re looking for recruits in the Auror program. The other letter that I sent with this is from him. He’s inviting us into the program if we want. I think I’m going to go for it. We have to complete the screening process by the end of the month, so I’m hoping you’ll be back by then to start with me if that’s what you want to do. By the way, are you and Hermione sorted yet? Ginny wants to know. Well, anyways, let me know when you decide. 

Harry

Ron reread Harry’s letter a few times before pulling out the second piece of parchment that he now knew to be from Kingsley. Was this actually an invitation to join the Aurors? Would he be able to achieve his dream? Did he still want to pursue that dream? He slowly peeled off the wax seal and unfolded the official Ministry parchment.

Mr. Weasley,

I hope this finds you well and that you are having success on your current mission. I am reaching out to you to personally invite you to join the Aurors. As you know, we are woefully understaffed as a result of the war, and your integral efforts make you a prime candidate for the program. Typically, the training period is an extensive three years, but given your experiences, you will have an opportunity to pass out of the training program after a year, and be promoted to Junior Auror status. 

I understand that you are predisposed on a mission, but this offer is time sensitive. The Auror department has agreed to honor this offer for select people, yourself included, but they are requiring all candidates to begin on 3 August. Paperwork and a screening, however, must be completed by 1 July. I have attached the preliminary paperwork for you to set up your appointments with the Ministry, and they will be in touch should you be interested in pursuing this avenue. 

Please take the time to think about this, but do not wait too long to reply. The Aurors will be lucky to have someone with your skillset in the department. Best of luck on your continued search. All my best,

Kingsley

Ron’s hands were shaking slightly at the letter. He had a personal invitation from the Minister of Magic to join the Aurors. His finger followed the application that he looked over. It seemed straightforward enough, and the prospect was certainly appealing. He knew deep down that he absolutely wanted to try, but something was preventing him from returning to the Australian Ministry to fill out the paperwork and send it back that same day. 

Ron thought it through to make sure he’d have enough time to discuss with Hermione first. He reviewed the application, and it said he could return his paperwork from Australia, and it said that he could request a timeframe for his appointment. That was good. Maybe he could return next week, but his heart wrenched at the thought of having to leave Hermione here. Ron folded the contents of the two letters and tucked them in his jacket pocket for safekeeping. 

He looked around the park, thinking about what to do next. It was a beautiful, crisp day, just like every other day had been since they’d arrived, even if it was colder. He smiled, thinking Hermione would be cold, but he was perfectly comfortable. The weather here differed so greatly from the weather in England, and Ron was slightly envious of how nice it seemed to be year round.

He finally decided to walk around. This part of Melbourne wasn’t as familiar to him, but Ron figured he could always apparate back to the flat if need be. A smile spread across his lips as he stood up and began walking back towards the Ministry. He’d gone from not knowing what life had in store for him now that the war was over to having a career prospect. Nothing could break his mood as he looked around at the places to explore. 

About an hour later, Ron found himself wandering aimlessly around Melbourne’s streets. He’d gone in several of the shops that interested him along the way, and had just finished up a light meal he’d gotten at a cafe. The food was great, and he wished Hermione had been there to. He told her he was fine with today’s plan, but he still missed her. They’d been spending so much time together that it felt odd to be apart from her, even if it was just for the day. Even when her mum had whisked her away to shop, he still knew exactly when he’d see her next.

As he made his way down another new street, Ron stopped outside the window of a unique looking jewelry shop. He knew it was still early in their relationship, but he walked inside anyways to see what the display cases held. Most everything would probably be out of his price range, but maybe he’d gather an idea or two for Hermione.

“Good afternoon,” a bright and energetic salesperson said to him.

“Hello,” Ron said.

“Is there anything I can help you find today?”

“Oh, er, not really. Just looking,” his ears turned red. 

“Not a problem at all! I’ll be around if you need anything,” she smiled and went back to her work.

As he walked around slowly, browsing the selection, he was appreciative that there seemed to be a wide variety of items and price ranges. Ron avoided the section with the rings. It was way too early for that, and he didn’t want to get his hopes up with wishful thinking. So, he found his way over to the earrings, which he was pretty sure she never wore often, though he was certain her ears were pierced, and then the necklaces. He shuddered at the recollection of Lavender giving him that horrifying ‘sweetheart locket’ back in sixth year, and swore to himself that he wouldn’t get anything like that for Hermione. 

Once he’d finished circling the perimeter of glass cases, he moved to the center displays, which appeared to be bracelets. There was a small display among them that had a variety of blank bracelets and little pieces scattered all around. 

Ron looked around and caught the salesperson’s attention. “Find something I can help you with?”

“Er, yes. What are these?” Ron asked her.

“Oh! Great question. These are charm bracelets! Are you familiar with them?” she asked kindly.

“No, not really,” Ron admitted.

“No matter! You see, you pick out a bracelet first, though I’m sure you would have gathered that, and then you have all of these amazing charms to choose from. We have hundreds of them on this display for you to choose from.”

“So, the charms are like symbols, then?” Ron asked for clarification.

“Precisely! They are becoming increasingly popular.”

Ron nodded as an idea was forming in his mind. He was unable to get anything for Hermione’s last birthday, and Christmas for that matter. Maybe this could be the way to make it up to her. “How much?”

“The bracelets are 50 dollars, and then the charms range anywhere between 15 and 50 depending on what you’re looking for.”

Ron thought about what the salesperson said as he felt the wallet in his pocket. Bill and George had both given him money before he’d left. He was determined not to use it unless he had to, since he felt guilty that he was taking it to begin with. Maybe he’d splurge a bit, and when they got back to England, he’d take up a part-time job at the shop with George in order to pay him back, and then earn a little spending money of his own.

In truth, he was about to use it to pay for their posh dinner the other night, but Hermione had insisted she use her parent’s card. He’d need to make it up to them, too, at some point. Focus, Ron. Okay, I could get her the bracelet, and a few charms. No more than five. He knew if he didn’t set a limit, he’d blow all his money on this one gift.

“Okay, I’d like the silver bracelet, I think. Is there a list of charms, or will I need to look through all these individually?” Not that he minded, since he had nowhere else to be today.

“We have a list right here!” There was a stack of laminated papers that she grabbed one from and handed to him. “When you’ve decided what you’d like, I can take them out for you and we can put them on the bracelet at the register.”

“Great, thanks!” Ron said as he began to work his way through the list. 

She wasn’t kidding when she said there were hundreds. They were broken down into categories on the double sided sheet. He knew he definitely wanted to get her the book charm. That was without a doubt. He saw that there was also a heart with roses engraved in it. It looked fancier than the other charms, but he figured he could splurge a bit on it since it held a special meaning for them both. 

As his eyes skimmed the list he noticed an assortment of animals. I wonder…, he thought. He saw there was definitely a dog, which he wasn’t surprised by, but he was even more pleased to see that there was an otter charm! “Well, they are quite cute,” he muttered to himself. 

Four charms down, one more. He initially looked for an elf, but didn’t have any luck there. He wasn’t surprised, and he worried that even if he saw one, it’d be one of those Christmas looking ones. Giving up on that, Ron ended up finding a seashell charm which instantly brought him back to Shell Cottage. That was no doubt the turning point in their relationship, and it also represented the place where Dobby was buried. It could definitely serve a double meaning, for sure.

He brought the paper up to the counter and told the kind salesperson his choices, watching as she bustled around to collect everything. She rang the items up, and Ron pulled out his wallet to pay for the items. He carefully tucked the receipt away so he could keep track of his purchases.

“Would you like this wrapped up in a gift bag?” she asked him.

“Yes, please,” he said, glad to have her assistance.

He asked if the charms could be arranged the following way on the bracelet: book, otter, terrier, seashell, and heart. It represented the chronological order of the charm’s meanings to their relationship. The salesperson finished wrapping up the bracelet and handed him the gift bag when she was finished. “Thank you so much for your business, and best of luck. I’m sure your special someone is going to love this!”

“Thanks for your help,” Ron said as he exited the shop.

He figured he should probably head back before he spent any more money that day. Ron could watch the telly, and there was enough food for him to make something at the flat. There was an alley nearby that he decided to turn into, so he could apparate back to the flat. Better to be safe than sorry, since he really had no idea where he was. He turned on the spot and appeared at the apparition point nearby. He approached the building, typed in the code and let himself into the foyer. 

When he made it up the stairs, he unlocked the door and walked into the main living area, just as a silvery ball floated toward him. At first, his heart constricted and he immediately became on edge. He was even more worried for Hermione’s safety when the ball transformed into Hermione’s otter patronus.

A moment later he could hear Hermione’s nervous voice. “Hi! I hope this works. It’s the first time I’ve tried to send a patronus message. Anyways, I’m having dinner with my parents and will be back after. Most likely between seven and eight. I hope you don’t mind. See you soon.” 

The silver otter pranced over to him and moved in a figure eight pattern around his legs before nuzzling him and disappearing into a wisp. Ron couldn’t help but smile with pride. Hermione was okay, and she’d produced her first corporeal patronus complete with a message. He checked his watch as he set the bag down on the table. Only a few hours until he could see her again.

[pixie88]

Baby Shower

Chapter 7 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: This chapter is a fast forward. Rereading it seems like a filler but a fluffy filler! I’m loving my new collages!! SO PRETTY!!! I hope you like it!

Comments always welcome good or bad!

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this new series from now on as I don't want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1885

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, NSFW & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy 😘

I've been home for 4 days now, I'm bored Adam is at work he wanted to stay home but I convince him that I am fine. But now? Now I'm bored! Daytime TV is awful, I decide to go for a walk. I pop into Bridezillas, Jess looks up at me as I walk into the shop "Hey Ellie! How are you feeling?" she has the most fake smile.

"Hi, I'm feeling OK, just bored!"

"I can imagine it must be just staring at 4 walls all day. Have you heard anything about what is happening to the girl that attacked you?"

"Erm, last I heard they were charging her. Adam is dealing with updates. Has it been busy?"

I don't know if it's real or fake but she gives me an apologetic look "Psycho, hopefully she'll get what's coming to her. Today has been pretty steady actually" the shop phone rings Jess smile and answers it.

I hear the shop door open and turn to greet what I thought would be a customer to be face with his 'Why aren't you resting, look' I feel like a kid being caught with her hand in the cookie jar "Ellie, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at home with your feet up?"

I give him my best pouty sad face "I was bored, so I thought I'd go for a walk and just popped in. How did you know I was here?"

He gives me that grin, "I was walking back from the shop, we needed more tea at work and I saw you in here"

Jess interrupts "Ellie, are you OK to keep an eye out here for a minute or two? Amy is on her break and I need to check out back if a customers dress has been altered?"

I look over my shoulder at her "Yeah, that's fine" She smiles before rushing out the back to the stock room.

"Busted then! I was just so bored I was going to go stir crazy just watching TV"

His arms come around me, his cheek bushes mine as he whispers against my ear "I could've kept you company, but you told me to go back to work!"

I laugh, "Adam!!" I playfully swat him.

"Back thanks Ellie!" Jess calls from behind.

"Right, come on I'm taking you to lunch"

"Oooo, can we go to The Grill? I'm really feeling a chicken burger! Oh, and ice! Baby wants ice!"

He laughs, entwines his fingers through mine and pulls me towards the door "Bye Jess!" I call over

"Bye!"

We get outside "I just need to pop these into the office" we walk over to his office, we get out the front then I freeze on the spot.

Adam turns to look at me, then it clicks and his face turns to concern "Ellie, beautiful! I'm sorry! You know what I'll leave these here and tell Rob there outside. Don't worry I won't let anyone hurt you or Charlie! I promise! Let's get you some lunch"

 ~*~*~*~

After lunch Adam drops me home, I'm looking round the spare bedroom we emptied a few weeks ago. We have the paint, furniture, and furnishings. Nina and Al decided to stay another week after my incident with Laura. I give Nina a text, half an hour later, Al and Nina arrive "Ellie, let's get start on this room" Nina rushes me upstairs. She paints not letting me help and Al puts together the furniture.

I hear my phone.

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Hey yummy mummy, I hope you're at home resting! I will grab you a couple of bags of ice on the way home! x]

[Hi my gorgeous husband, I am! I've just grabbed one of your hoodies while the heating is heating up as I'm cold. I will send a photo as proof haha! You know how to make a girl happy, I just finished the bag we got at lunch :( xx]

I take a kissy-pouty face photo with his white hoodie in my hand to throw him off and hit send.

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Beautiful! Probably all that ice you've eaten that's made you cold. OK, I'll get 4 bags might last until tomorrow at least. x]

[Haha, it probs is! I might get in bed until I warm up. Not a bad craving to have, can't put on weight eating ice! haha. We will see you later xx]

Later I'm just putting the vacuum round Charlie new bedroom, Nina and Al have, left as they have plans with Elaine.

"Ellie? Gorgeous? Are you here?"

I hear him call out as he comes in for work "I'm up here! Come up!" I call down, I rush out of the room and close the door.

He reaches the top of the stairs and turns to me "There you are!"

"I have a surprise for you!"

He narrow his eyes at me "Would it have anything to do with that paint on, your forehead?"

I touch my head (Crap!) "Ellie, what have you been up to?"

"Come here, cover your eyes and follow me!" I pull him with me as I open the door "You can't open your eyes until say!"

He grins, I pull him further into the room "Open them!"

He opens his eyes and looks round the room "Ellie, Wow! This is amazing!" he has the brightest smile, "Wait, you didn't lift that furniture did you?"

I laugh "No, of course not. I got your mum and dad to help. Your dad put everything together your mum painted the walls, I did offer to help but she would only let me make teas"

He wraps his arms around me "Ellie, it's perfect!" he claims my lips with his "Now, let me make you dinner!"

"No, Adam I'll make it! You've been at work all day"

He cups my face "And you're pregnant and came home only 4 days ago! I'm cooking no arguments" he kisses my lips softly. I know there's not point in protesting.

~*~*~*~

4 Weeks later.

He clutches my hips as I'm bouncing up and down him "Fuck baby! That's it ride me!" he pushes off the bed and sits up as pulls me to his lips.

I grasp his lip between my teeth, he groans and I let go before his lips kiss along my pulse line. He moves his hips up burying himself further into me "Yes! That's it! Oh!!" a wave of pleasure explodes between my legs and I hit my climax.

He drives into me a few more times before he hits his own.

I collapse onto him, he wraps me up into his arms "Do you have to go to work today?" I put on my pouty face.

He chuckles "Not had enough?"

I shook my head, "You will have so much more fun with me" I wink.

"I would but I'm busy at work" he kisses me gently before getting out of bed, he turns "But you can always join me in the shower!" he winks. I jump up, and he pulls me towards the bathroom with him.

After our shower we are in the bedroom getting dressed, I'm sat on the bed when I feel a flutter in my tummy (That's new) I rest a hand against my bump and I feel it "Adam!! He's kicking!" He spins round and rushes over to me, I take his hand and place it where I felt the kick.

*Kick!*

Adam felt it, his face lights up "He kicked!" then another and another. "Oh wow! This is amazing Ellie!" Adam's phone rings and rings and rings "Rob, what's up?...Yeah, of course. OK, I'll be right there!" he hangs up "I've got to go. I love you...the both of you" he kisses my cheek then my bump.

"We'll see you later!" I smile.

I have today off as Amy needed to swap days. Mum has invited me to lunch at the club, I take the train into the city centre.

[Hey husband! <<I don't think I'll ever get bored of calling you that! 5 weeks tomorrow you made me your proud wife! How's work? Not working to hard I hope?! You'll need your energy for later ;) Just on my way to mum's club for lunch. x]

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[Hello my beautiful wife < I won't get bored of calling you that either xx. Wow, feels like yesterday! Yeah, work is fine muddling through. Oh, will I now? Why would that be!? Have fun and think of me stuck here! xx]

[Good because that's my title until I'm 6 feet under! haha. Aww just think we could be in bed sweating, panting and screaming each others names...but you chose work. Because I plan you for you to fuck me all night! haha! x]

*1 New Message from Hubster*

[That won't be for a long time yet! Fuck picturing it now *boxers feeling tight!* I won't make that mistake again. I plan to keep you in bed until you're sore ;) I need to get back to work. I love you both xx]

[I could've helped with that....but I can't now. You better not!!!!!!!! Ooooh looking forward to it. We love you too x]

~*~*~*~

I get to the club and head inside.

*SURPRISE!*

I look around the room is decorated in blue balloons, it's a boy and baby shower banners! Everyone is here my mum, Tom, Amy, Justin, Elaine, Nina, Kerry and Adam. My emotions get the better of me and I burst into tears.

Mum rushes over to me "Oh, El's this was supposed to have the opposite effect"

I smell his aftershave then feel his arms wrap around me "Hey beautiful! No tears!"

I smile through the tears, he cups my face and wipes them away "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting this! It's such a lovely gesture!" I apologize.

I dry my tears and Adam leads me to a table "Was this your doing? I thought you were busy?"

"Hey Ellie, You can cry if your want to 1. it's your party and 2. you're pregnant, you can be emotional and no one can question it" Elaine calls over.

He gives me a smug smile, "I had to make you believe that because I needed to get here to help your mum. Do you really think I would have turned down a day in bed with you for work?"

I laugh, "I'll remember that next time! Your mum is here! She's racking up some air miles"

"When Mel mentioned it to me a few months ago I had a word with mum. I said she didn't need to come down, but she wanted to. I think she likes you more than me," he laughs, "But seriously she wants to be here in her words 'Adam don't be so silly this is my first grandchild I'm going to get on the first plane for everything, the birth, their first steps etc'"

I laugh, "Bless her!"

Later after gifts and food. I'm catching up with Tom "How are you feeling El's?"

"Like an emotional hippo!" He laughs, "So, it looks like you and Justin are over your little spat?"

"Yeah, El's there's something I need to tell you," he gives me a look I can't read.

"What? What is it?"

"El's, come on let's cut the cake!" Mum pulls me away before Tom can answer. (What does he want to tell me?)

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 8.

@lem-20 @khoicesbyk @aussieez @shewillreadyou @txemrn @irisofpurple

[rigelmejo]

Extensive Reading Updates - Zhenhun

I have been extensively reading zhenhun, my print novel version so I am not looking up any words. (Whereas with the hanshe pingxie fanfiction I am still occasionally clicking a word). I have read the first 20 chapters of the webnovel version of zhenhun in Pleco in the past few months, so most unknown words I have looked up before at some point. So right now I'm re-reading a lot of the same content and will be until I get past chapter 20.

I can tell that my comprehension of zhenhun probably is at about 95%. As in, its enough that I can follow the main plot and most key info details, but there's enough unknown words that I cannot guess some of them from context if its a totally new part of the novel I'm reading. And I run into a number of words in the in-depth scenery and character backstory descriptions that I just do not know and there's enough I don't always have enough context to guess relatively closely to their meaning.

Since these first 20 chapters are a re-read more or less, I have the extra context of 'knowing the overall plot that happens here' already. So I'm reading slower than I probably could, trying to figure out any unknown words from all the surrounding word context and the prior-plot-knowledge I have. For these re-reading sections this is working well, a majority of the words I can re-remember or figure out. I am hoping I will pick up enough of THESE kinds of unknown-words during this re-reading portion, so that hopefully my comprehension when I get to the new parts of the book will be a bit higher than 95%. Then hopefully once I get into totally new parts of the book: my reading speed will be a bit better (less unknown words I hope lol), and I will know a bit more words to guess more totally-new unknown words (that I've never looked up before) vague overall meanings.

Examples of what things I can read clearly versus parts I can't figure out all of the words enough to be relatively sure of the details. In chapter 1, I can read the parts about "Guo Changcheng having a phobia of phone calls" clearly, but then the details about him being afraid of people and having social anxiety I can follow certain parts, but other parts of the descriptions (like him when he sees a teacher or principal) I just sort of vaguely guessed meant he was terrified of them. When chapter 1 described Zhao Yunlan's entrance, I could clearly follow the parts about him looking serious/having a bad attitude and walking fast with the attitude of "if you're in my way roll the fuck away" and then the part about how instantly his mood changed to warm, he smiled friendly, he talked kindly and helped Guo Changcheng out by patting at his shoulder when Guo Changcheng got all sweaty trying to shake hands. But then the part about how Guo Changcheng sensed a seriousness/almost-scariness about Zhao Yunlan? All those details read vague to me and I am just summarizing that my interpretation of it was "even acting friendly, Guo Changcheng felt he was serious underneath/powerful/had an intimidating vibe." And since that detail read SO vague to me, I can't tell if that was an early hint Zhao Yunlan might be a god/used to have been Kunlun, if its just another implication Guo Changcheng is afraid of people/authority figures, or if it was trying to imply something else I just did not pick up on. So even WITH the re-reading prior context of these scenes, in-depth descriptions of character's intepretations still are more vague to me even if I can guess some of the words. I imagine this will get worse when I get to the totally new chapters - unless I learn a LOT of helpful words from context by the time I get through the first 20 chapters.

When I re-read the Kunlun intro I realized I may have translated some details wrong when I translated it to english several months ago. Now, this time I didn't use a dictionary to read at all, so it's possible I also did not interpret the details I read correctly THIS time around. But yeah, a couple days ago when I re-read that part I interpreted the 'qing yi' as possibly green/blue cloth Kunlun is wearing as the blizzard is blowing (whereas when I first translated that line months ago I thought it meant 'clear white fabric' blowing in the wind like some ripped piece of cloth - its also possible this time it still means 'bright cloth' but I do think it sounds more like its Kunlun's clothes than a random cloth blowing in the wind). And this time, when I read about Shennong it seemed more like he was either a god who'd lost his powers, or a god who'd lost his godhood fully, and its just he still retained his kind unselfish demeanor. Whereas when I first translated, I figured he was just a god 'who'd suffered' because of the great calamity that had just happened, but not particularly doing any worse than that. In this re-read though it feels to me more like its implying something more severe has happened to him/is happening. Also during this re-read, the line about 'the hole in the ground being so deep the rain did not even reach this far down' was much clearer for me whereas when I initially translated I had to look up a Ton of words in that section and still didn't quite get what it meant.

Also for the chapter 1 re-read, certain details were much easier for me to clearly understand. The part about McDonalds I FINALLY recognized that word in the sentence, the part about Guo Changcheng parking then going into the courtyard area and seeing the lobby office building, the part about human resources department, all of those sections I followed the details much easier than last time I read with a dictionary. So yeah, I'm curious which parts will be 'clearer' to me this time reading.

I am still reading at a slow 5 minutes a page (speed I was reading print novel of zhenhun last time). But to be fair? I am slowing down to try and figure out every unknown right now on the re-reading sections. And I read english fiction at like 3-4 minutes a page (why???? Do I just... picture and savor a lot???). I know when I'm reading nonfiction or back when I'd read class-assigned things I could read way faster, but I think its just because I scanned for important info and details and then moved on. Idk but...I really do read english fiction too slow too lol (I'm reading a friend's book and I've read like 110 pages despite like 10 hours on this book so far T-T just because I keep savoring it and pausing and rereading). I'm rereading a fic I wrote, so I know everything that happens, and I was reading like 1 page every 3-4 minutes ;-;. I know I can read super fast I think when I like something I just... slow down. Now, my chinese is reading slow just because reading slow is ALL I can do lol. But I may need... to be more realistic that any novel may take me 20-30 hours optimistically when I read like an english novel that's only 300 pages over 3 weeks now and I'm only 1/3 through it.

I can read chinese a touch faster if its actually in my 98% comprehended range I think. For hanshe, while when I'm slowing down looking up all unknown words its probably around the same speed as zhenhun? While I'm just reading to follow the story, I can finish a whole chapter in a handful of minutes. Now, like zhenhun, I am currently reading chapters I have already read before - so the familiarity is likely speeding me up. So that fact does mean it probably won't be as easy/fast once I get to the new chapters. At the moment though, unknown words pretty much all I have a good guess of understanding roughly in context (a lot like me reading fanfic in middle to high school as far as the amount of new vocabulary beyond my range that is not affecting my understanding). I just do not necessarily have a good chance of guessing completely new hanzi pronunciations (which is the main reason I keep occassionally looking up words). The hanzi I've vaguely seen before, I can sometimes guess their reading based on radical or the other word I know them from. But the completely new hanzi I do not remember seeing at all (although I did apparently at some point during the first read through) - I cannot make a decent pronunciation guess sometimes. And of course, the hanzi I always cannot guess correctly for the life of me (looking at you 'suspicious' 'hesitate' 'doubt' because I am STILL getting those 3 words/hanzi in them confused even though I've probably looked up each word like 40 times at least).

For me, print text is slightly easier to read (and in extensive reading its somewhat easier for me to guess new word meanings/hanzi). By this I mean the font they usually use for print novels (it looks a bit more like handwriting with more slanted lines and less 'blocky' of a look). I sort of think its because the print text usually used in books has more obvious radicals to me. So my eyes parse out the radicals I'm looking at easier and can make a guess at meaning/pronunciation. An obvious example is any time a 'sound noise' is written with hanzi with the mouth radical on them. When I'm reading in print text, I recognize 'mumbled, shouted, humph'ed, sighed, breathed in etc quite quickly. Along with sounds like 'xililala' and 'deng deng deng' and there was a sound phrase used I think in Guo Changcheng's section about school in chapter one that was like he sort of 'tumbled/fumbled his way through school' and while i know tumbled/fumbled is probably not Exactly the word? It looked like a sound-noise word to me because of the mouth radical, so I figured it might be something like that? Whereas I know when I read the webnovel if I saw a 4 hanzi phrase like that I would've just gotten confused by those hanzi cause I wouldn't have recognized the meaning of the other radicals in the hanzi. Also a few weeks ago I changed a fic I was reading's text to the print-usual text in Pleco, and had a much easier time reading less slow/recognizing hanzi I'd seen before. That said, recently reading a ton of hanshe has helped computer-text reading ability a bit I think. I'm getting much more used to recognizing radicals in computer-text website usual font, which I notice most obviously in that I'm hitting more 'sound hanzi' that are getting less confusing to me to recognize.

So I guess in summary, reading extensively is going fine. I'll find out in a few weeks if its causing any improvements. I do think its helping with my ability to recall words/pronunciations of words I've seen before though. Just because the quicker I can do that the less I pause, and I don't have a dictionary to help me out so I seem to remember some pronunciations quicker (maybe because I 'have' to). I also think its helping me with general sentence parsing a bit - which I thought I was fine at, but on re-reading the beginning of zhenhun I am realizing there's a decent amount of sentences I did NOT interpret quite right the first time around even with a dictionary.

[benedictshurley]

Positive : Part 13

So, it’s been almost two years since I updated this story and I finally have another part for everyone! I’ll link the masterlist in case you guys want to reread! I don’t know if i’ll continue past this part for awhile, I might release a summary of how I planned it to end when I first came up with this concept. Masterlist here

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Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader  

Word Count: 2,188

Warnings: non explicit smut, fluff, angst, time jump 

Disclaimer: this is pure FICTION. I mean no harm or hurt to the Benedict family, or others involved. Marnie is Rob’s fictional wife from Kings of Con. I originally used Mollie (his real wife) but ultimately decided to change it as it made me uncomfortable writing about her and his kids.

(Gif Below is mine.)

Previously on Positive

“Yes Rob. I am completely and utterly in love with you. I’ve been trying to hide it but I can’t anymore. And I just hope that deep down, you still love me too.” Your voice matched your face. Hopeful. “Please say you still love me and I’m not too late.”

Rob was still silent. It took him a moment before he opened his mouth. “I.”

Taking his silence as a no, you flushed red and tried to head toward the door. “This was stupid i should’ve known i was too late-”

You were stopped by Rob grabbing your wrist.

“Yes. God yes. I still love you.” Rob gripped your face in his hands before pressing his lips against yours.

Moving in sync, the two of you kissed passionately, your fingers tangling in rob’s hair. 

“I love you so much. Fuck.” You spoke against his lips. 

The kiss was messy and teeth bumped each other but you didn’t care. All you wanted was Rob.

Rob pulled away for a moment. “Fuck wait, As much as I want to do this..you’re with Stephen. I can’t do this to him.”

You cupped Rob’s face. “We broke up. He tried making me choose between you and him..and I chose you.”

Rob’s grin returned as he kissed you once more, his fingers gripping the back of your shirt.

“Clothes..off.” You mumbled, fumbling with his t-shirt. 

Rob complied and helped you with his shirt, before he moved to yours and lifted it over your head before connecting your lips with his own once more. 

As the minutes passed, the clothes piled up on the floor and you two made it to the bed. Rob’s hands went up and down your body, a moan leaving your lips. 

“Rob..I love you so much.” You cupped his cheek.

“I love you too.” Rob kissed your neck as he spread your legs, and sheathed himself inside of you.

The next hour was filled with breathy moans and skin slapping against skin, and your nails dragging down Rob’s back, marking him up.

“You look so beautiful pregnant. That's our baby.” Rob breathed out, kissing your neck softly

“Ours. No one else's. Fuck right there.” You moaned, arching your back off the bed. 

Soon, you and Rob reached your climax, nearly simultaneously. As he pulled out of you, you relaxed into the bed, breathing heavily.

“That’s even better, completely sober.”  You laughed quietly.

Rob chuckled as well, laying next to you and covering your lower halves with the sheet. 

“I agree.” He smiled and turned to face you, pushing some hair away from your face. 

The next morning, you awoke in Rob’s arms, a smile on your face. As he slept, you got up and cleaned up in the bathroom, finding robs discarded t shirt and your underwear to feel less exposed. You climbed on his lap, and kissed his face softly to wake him up. 

As he stirred, you grinned and ran your fingers through his hair. “Morning sleepyhead.”

He put his hands on your hips and blinked awake. “Morning to you too. Nice shirt.” He chuckled.

“Thanks, I think I pull it off.” You laughed, kissing him softly.

He kissed back for a moment before sitting up with you in his lap. “Good to know last night wasn’t a dream.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the hairs at the nape of it. “It definitely wasn’t.”

Rob’s hands moved from your hips to your stomach, rubbing over the bump slowly. “I love you both so much.”

“We love you too.” You kissed him again, and he kissed back, turning you over so you were on your back and he was on top of you.

Both of you were too engrossed in each other to heard Rob’s door open. Only when you heard Rich shout “Woah Bobbo!” did Rob remove his hand from your breast and quickly cover you with his body. 

“Rich learn to knock!” Rob groaned, covering your lower half with the sheet. 

“Sorry didn’t know you had company..especially not Y/N. Glad to see you two made up.” Richard set Rob’s coffee on the small desk in the room. “I’ll see you two downstairs for checkout.” 

As soon as he left, you burst into giggles. “Well..guess I should go pack and get ready for the flight.” 

Two Months Later, January 2019, 32 Weeks

After that night in Minnesota, you and Rob became official. You spent Christmas together, and you even got to meet Rob’s son Tyler and thankfully, he liked you. Marnie and Rob were moving through with divorce proceedings and switched off each week on Tyler. Now you were currently in Missouri, meeting Rob’s close family for the first time. That includes his mom, two sisters, and Matt. At least you’ve met Matt before. You were nervous and it showed on your face as you two pulled into Rob’s family home. You had opted to drive as you were over the recommended stage of flying for your pregnancy.

“Babe, you need to relax. They’re not gonna skin you alive or something.” Rob put his hand on your thigh, squeezing it lovingly. 

“I’m just nervous. What if your mom hates me? I broke up your marriage and we’re having a baby out of wedlock and I know how people can be about that even in 2019 but-” You began to ramble 

Rob put his free hand over your mouth and sighed. “Y/N you’re rambling. They’re going to love you. And our daughter. They weren’t the biggest fans of Marnie anyways. Okay?”

You relaxed a little and nodded as you both got out of the car, Rob forbidding you from carrying any of your bags or presents into the house. 

“Robert, I'm pregnant, not invalid.” You crossed your arms. 

“You only have 8 weeks left until your due date. Not risking you going into early labor in Missouri.” Rob hauled your things up to the door and opened it without knocking. “The R Benedicts have arrived!”

You blushed when he included you in the Benedicts. You guess it made sense, considering you were carrying a Benedict. Matt soon came to help Rob and gave you a quick hug and you were whisked away by the Benedict girls to go in the kitchen with their mother. 

Almost immediately they sat you down at the table while Vivian was washing dishes. 

“So..” Amy asked, curiously. “How are you feeling? 8 weeks left? Any cold feet? Wanting to ditch my brother and have the baby in Uruguay?”

You opened your mouth to reply but Nancy cut in. “No other secret baby daddies?”

Slightly offended, you cleared your throat. “I’m feeling fine, no I’m not going to ditch your brother and have the baby in Uruguay, and no I’m not cheating on Rob either.” You said with a fake smile. 

“Oh girls leave her alone!” Vivian turned off the sink. “If Robbie likes her then we should too. And she's carrying your niece. My granddaughter.” 

They groaned but apologized, and soon went off to tend to their own children in the backyard. Vivian sat down next to you and grabbed your hand.

“Are you feeling okay dear? Any signs of labor? How was the drive?”  She asked, genuinely caring.

“I’m feeling good, only Braxton hicks contractions so far. The drive...was okay. Would’ve been here a few hours ago but my legs kept cramping and I kept having to pee. I think I annoyed Rob a bit though.” You chuckled nervously. “Oh! We have ultrasounds for you.” you grabbed your bag and dug them out. “She looks like her father.”

Vivian looked at them with admiration. “Oh she does. Robbie had that same nose when he was born.” 

Rob came up behind you and rubbed your shoulders. “See I told you. She looks like me.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I know she does. Carry her for almost 10 months of my life and she’s gonna look like him.”

Later that night, you were exchanging Christmas gifts with his family. You got plenty for the baby, and Rob got a decent amount for himself, and they gave him Tyler’s presents because it was Marnie's week and she wouldn’t budge. Vivian even got you a beautiful maternity sweater. 

It was about 7 P.M when you heard the doorbell, as you were cleaning up from dessert with Amy and Matt. You shrugged it off and continued cleaning until you heard Rob ask someone what they were doing here. 

You wiped your hands and went out toward Rob before freezing in your steps. Marnie was here, Tyler already being inside and with his grandma. 

“Marnie why are you here? You weren’t invited.” Rob spat, looking back at you with apologetic eyes.

“I’m always invited to the Benedict January Christmas!  Plus I have wonderful news!” She forced her way inside and a majority of the Benedicts glared at her. 

You crossed your arms. “Marnie you aren’t a benedict anymore.”

Marnie looked over at you and sneered. “Neither are you, homewrecker.”

Rob quickly got in the middle, protecting you behind him. “Okay that’s enough. Tyler can stay but you need to leave Marnie. I don’t know what you’re trying to pull but it's not going to work.” 

“But Rob, we can’t get divorced now. I came to tell you that.” Marnie had a grin on her face, it was a bit too wide for your liking. 

Rob was confused. “Why not? I haven’t heard anything from my lawyer.”

You were starting to get nervous now, and you felt a little dizzy. 

“They can’t divorce us, because I’m 10 weeks pregnant! And it’s a Benedict.” Marnie smiled and pulled her coat open, showing a little bump.

You don’t remember what happened after, because you fainted, your heart pounding in your ears. 

When you woke up, you were on Rob’s childhood bed with a warm cloth on your head and Rob pacing the room. When he noticed you were awake, he quickly sat next to you.

“Are you okay? Do you feel okay? We checked the doppler while you were passed out, the heartbeat is still strong so everything’s fine with her but-” Rob rambled.

“Rob stop..I’m fine. Just, how can that baby be yours? You guys split up before you could’ve possibly conceived that baby.” Your head was pounding as your once perfect world was crumbling beneath your feet. 

Rob put his head in his hands. “A few days after the album release, I went to get my things, and she was there..I was so mad and she kept coming onto me..I regretted it immediately after it happened.”

You felt bile begin to rise in your throat. “Have you seen her since then?”

“No! Baby no of course not. I have not and will not cheat on you. Do you understand me?” Rob cupped your face but you slowly pulled them off.

“Rob, you shouldn’t have kept that from me. When we started this relationship we agreed to be open and honest with each other because of our past. This isn’t being open and honest!” You raised your voice a little.

“It was before we got together! I didn’t think it mattered!” He yelled back.

“Well it does! She’s pregnant with your baby! I don’t know how to handle this!” You stood when rob did.

“It was a MISTAKE. I thought she was still on birth control!” Rob yelled.

“Every time we’re happy it gets fucked up because of her! I can’t deal with this! Not so close to my due date!” you paced back and forth.

“You can’t just blame her! It takes two to tango. You of all people should know that.” Rob shouted.

“What the hell does that mean?!” You screamed back

“Because the same thing happened to us! I just didn’t think i’d be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice!” Rob spat.

You whimpered softly. “So she’s a mistake now?” 

Robs eyes softened as he saw the tears in your eyes. “Baby no I didn’t-”

“I’m a mistake too? You promised me I wasn’t! You told me you didn’t regret it!” You began to shove your phone and keys into your purse and pulled your coat on. 

“Y/N why are you getting that stuff on? I promise you I didn’t regret it! Baby” Rob tried to stop you from leaving the room but you pushed past him and went down the stairs where Marnie was sitting on the couch with a smug smile on her lips.

You opened the front door and slammed it behind you, grabbing the keys from your bag and getting in the car. 

Rob tried to get in, begging you not to leave. You hadn’t been to Missouri before. He didn’t want you getting lost. 

“Go away! I-i need a break!” You wiped your tears away quickly and drove out of his driveway, leaving Rob, who was a mess of tears, behind.

You didn’t know where you were going to go, but you needed to get away from him. Away from it all.

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Thanks for reading!

Positive Taglist:  @natasha-cole @itsfunnierin-enochian @kocswain @missihart23 @wontlookaway @shanghai88 @rblstrash @burningrupture @sherlockedtash88 @bloodstained-porcelain-doll @tas898 @lullabylike @lexiemiller97

[brandyovereager]

The Phoenix Effect - pt. 3

That’s right, chapter three is here! I finally have some sort of plan for this story so hopefully that means my updates will come sooner ;) Enjoy! Let me know what you think! I take questions, prompts, etc.

On ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22195906/chapters/58129639#workskin

Summary: Rowan is in Rifthold with Dorian when a strange phenomenon sweeps the land. Those once dead are popping up alive. Everyday, more and more are Reborn. One day Rowan encounters a Reborn young man who refuses to give his name, only asking to know the whereabouts of Celaena Sardothein.

--

All the records in Adarlan were kept in a section of the Royal Library, commonly referred to as the Hall of Records. There were birth certificates, land deeds, census records, and all manner of official information. If the person this young man was looking for had lived in Adarlan, there would be some trace of them in the library.

“This is the best place to start searching for someone. That is, if the person you are looking for would appear on any official record.” Rowan met the young man’s eyes with a questioning eyebrow. If he and this person were mixed up in troublesome business, there was a high chance they would keep their dealings secret, or at least under an alias.

“I know a couple names that might be on property deeds or shop accounts.” It was a short answer, affirmative, but vague. The names were definitely aliases. It only served to reinforce Rowan’s theory that these were dangerous people. This young man needed the Fae’s protection as well as his discretion.

The Hall of Records was currently swarmed with reassimilation specialists filing in and out to get information on their assigned Reborns. It should have been impossible to access the hall, but being the King of Terrasen and a well-known Fae warrior meant the humans didn’t question him. Most simply ducked their heads and moved out of Rowan’s way.

The most current records were kept in an oak cabinet on the left side of the hall. Rowan figured that was the best place to start. If there was no recent information on their person of interest they would work backwards from there.

“Any official records from the last six months will be in this cabinet. They’re separated into drawers by city, may I ask which drawer you will be needing?” There was another implied question within Rowan’s words. Would the young man share any more information with the Fae, or should he be left to his own devices?

The young man stared intently at Rowan for a time before answering.

“We’ll begin our search in Rifthold, but it is likely she is no longer here.” It would seem Rowan had earned a bit more of the young man’s trust.

In his mind he started to piece information together. They were looking for a woman, probably last seen by the young man in Rifthold. It was possible he had died here. If the people after them had succeeded in killing the young man, there was a high chance the woman had fled to avoid meeting the same fate.

Identifying the drawer for Rifthold, Rowan pulled it open and stepped back to allow the young man privacy in his search. A warrior at heart, he retreated to stand against the wall and observe the specialists milling about around them. He would keep a lookout while averting his eyes to the young man’s activities.

————

Sam was growing increasingly more perplexed by the King of Terrasen. The king was obviously Fae—though Sam had never seen one in person before—his pointed ears and ethereal stature giving him away. Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius was a solid, hulking warrior who had likely seen more years of battle than Sam had seen with living eyes. The assassin in him was on high alert from the obvious threat the Fae posed, but a more human part of him was observing Rowan for another reason.

The male was unlike any royal Sam had ever encountered. As the king led him to the Hall of Records, Sam took notice of his tense posture and strained smiles when addressed by passing courtiers. He was a king, and as such was owed their deference in the form of slight bows and polite greetings, but his reactions were steeped in discomfort. He was unused to this level of respect then, and did not revel in it. Sam very much wanted to know how Rowan became the husband of the once lost Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.

Throughout their interactions so far the Fae has been gruff and aloof. They’d had a no-nonsense exchange of information and a plan of action was decided, very military. The most emotion the Fae had shown was a minutely more pleasant face when he spoke of his Queen.

Though cold as he may seem, Rowan—the King of Terrasen—had taken time out of his royal agenda to help an anonymous young man. He had demanded no information from Sam, had even averted his eyes while Sam searched the current records. This king understood discretion, had experience with it, and respected Sam’s need for it. He was quite the enigma indeed.

The most puzzling fact of all was that some part of Sam trusted him. Each bit of information he revealed put him and Celaena more at risk, but somehow he knew the male would not share a word. Sam got the feeling Rowan was a vault of secrets.

The first name Sam looked under in the current records was Dianna Brackyn, the alias Celaena used when they worked for Arobynn. That search yielded absolutely nothing. He had expected as much—if Arobynn had killed him Celaena likely wouldn’t have stayed in Rifthold under a known alias—but it didn’t calm any of the fear that’d been roiling in his abdomen. He just needed some proof that she was alive, that Arobynn hadn’t gotten to her too.

Of course, there were worse tortures Arobynn could inflict upon Celaena than death. Sam’s fear roiled again.

Before moving to another drawer to search, Sam decided to check the records for any trace of Arobynn or the other assassins in the guild. There was nothing in the drawer for Hammel, but what most piqued Sam’s curiosity was the deed for the Keep. The deed listed the official owners of the property as Tern, Harding, and Mullin.

“Where might I find news postings from four years ago?” With his words the Fae looked in Sam’s direction for the first time since he started his search.

“Three cabinets to your right. The drawer for news specifically in Rifthold is two from the bottom.” Yet another short, militaristic response. Information was given, with none asked for in return.

Something had happened to Arobynn, that had to be why his three lackeys now owned the Keep. A vengeful part of Sam hoped Celaena had killed the bastard, but even so, four years was plenty of time for Arobynn to hurt her before then.

She wasn’t listed as one of the owners of the Keep. Had she gotten away, just like they’d planned to together?

It would appear not. The sickening feeling in his gut was right. He had to reread the headline three times, whether to understand it in his shocked state or for some sort of masochistic torture, but there it was:

ADARLAN’S ASSASSIN FINALLY APPREHENDED, SENTENCED TO ENDOVIER.

She’d been sent to Endovier. Nobody survived the mines. Celaena was stronger than most, but it had been four years. There was hardly any chance she would still be alive after that long as a slave in Endovier. Still, some part of him held out hope. He needed to see her name on a list of the dead before he gave up on her. This was Celaena.

“Is there any record of the slaves in Endovier, living or dead?” The king’s eyebrow lifted, cogs turning and piecing facts together in his head.

“Endovier is no more. The late King of Adarlan massacred all those interned within both it and Calculla roughly a year ago.” It was another shot to his roiling gut. Even if Celaena had held out for three years in the slave mines, she would have been outright slaughtered anyway.

The look on Rowan’s face indicated he was growing more suspicious—that he might start demanding answers to previously ignored questions—but Sam couldn’t deal with that just yet. With Arobynn gone—hopefully brutally murdered—Sam didn’t have to stay hidden. He needed answers, but more importantly he needed to make someone pay for Celaena’s fate. It was time to visit the Keep.

“I’ll answer whatever questions you have later, but right now I have something important to do.”

@rowaelinforeverworld

Message me or reply to be tagged!

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Reconciliation

Read the tags as a few might be open ending. And in some of these they were still together in the beginning. Man, this list is angsty! I’m already planning on rereading them.

This will be under a read more.

Light by bri_ness (885 words) - Open ending. Even lays a beach towel down on the small patch of grass beside his apartment building’s parking lot, right beside the dumpster. He knows romance can thrive in spite of its setting. He looks at the stars, and he remembers. 

pull him back by hippopotamus (2k words) - “That’s my hoodie,” Isak says. “You left it at mine,” Even replies, as if Isak wasn’t fully aware of that. “And you didn’t ask for it back.” 

Resolution by bri_ness (2k words) - Isak's residency has him questioning his decision to be a doctor. When he's home for the holidays, he runs into Even, who gives him a new perspective. 

No One Knows Me Like You Do by obscurial (2.6k words) - He’s also shockingly sober, which only serves to remind him that fuck, he doesn’t even have an excuse for randomly messaging his ex-boyfriend of two years, out of the blue, at a socially unacceptable time to text your ex, if there even was one in the first place. 

Still Unformed by colazitron (3k words) - Even and Isak broke up a few years ago when Even moved to Germany to attend film school. Now he's moved back to Oslo. 

there's no one else I'd rather do this with by daddyhonkkk (3k words) - Even still has the extra Gabrielle ticket Isak got him for his birthday, but that was before they broke up. 

Like Breathing by BraveKate (3k words) - Even invites Isak to the premiere of his first movie. Part of a series but could be read as a standalone. 

left-handed by thekardemomme (3.5k words) - even always asks questions he doesn’t want to know the answers to. 

If Only by Stria (Asia117) (3.6k words) - Chatting with a random stranger that turns out to be your ex trope.

o night divine by thekardemomme (4k words) - This is the first Christmas in nearly five years that he’s spending without Isak, and while he still decorated his apartment and bought eggnog and spent an excruciating amount of time wrapping all of his gifts perfectly, the hole in his heart hasn’t gone unnoticed. 

Homesick by everything_else (4k words) - 5 times they take care of each other after the break up. +1 

Waking up to Nothing by dropdeadfox (4.6k words) - It’s been six months since Even has seen that grumpy- but- adorable pout on the most perfect pair of lips imaginable to men (and women). It’s been six months since he has heard that voice, it’s been six months since he has seen the most perfect, emerald- green eyes, gazing back at him. 

42 Seconds by thekardemomme (5k words) - Sunday is Isak’s ideal day. The day he looks forward to. This Sunday, Isak wakes up at 1pm, and the room is dark. The bed is empty and there’s no smell of breakfast. Even hasn’t slept next to him all week. The only thing that’s the same as every other Sunday for the past 23 months is the fact that Isak doesn’t want to get out of bed. 

Inbox: (1) New Email by scritch (6k words) - A story about falling back in love, one tweet, instagram post and email at a time 

the one where even says the wrong name by pansexuaIeven (6.5k words) - Even's getting married to Sonja, not Isak. The real question is: does he know that? Inspired by Friends. 

Shatter Me by givemesumaurgravy (6.6k words) - Even’s crying, he has been since the words ‘I slept with someone else’ left his mouth. To be honest, he’s been crying for hours since he got home from Mikael’s. Isak just sits there stoically and he says, “I’m not going to yell or any of that. I’m just going to make this really fucking awkward and uncomfortable for you.” “I want you to tell me everything that happened,” 

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else. 

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.  

We Keep This Love in a Photograph by kapplebougher (8.7k words) - It's been four weeks since Isak and Even made the decision to call it off. Now, Isak's back in their apartment of seven years and he's supposed to be moving out, but then he stumbles upon some memories that makes doing that a little difficult. 

Our Steady True North by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (9k words) - Five times Isak and Even were amicable; plus one time they just weren't. Plus an epilogue 

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

What becomes of the broken hearted by Kikki1 (12k words) - Set many years after Skam ended. Isak is living the life he always dreamed of. He has a good job, amazing friends and a superhot boyfriend. But his heart is forever broken. 

we still fuck by evak1isak (13k words) - Isak and Even had broken up. Period. But they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

in these deep solitudes and awful cells by hippopotamus (14k words) - it ends badly. so badly that they both wish they could forget about it. they meet again a few weeks later, and it’s hard to remember why it had to end. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14k words) -  The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to.

The Good Side by lavenderlady by (15k words) - Isak got the good side of the break up. 

And after that and after that by Teatrolley (18k words) - They’re friends, and roommates, and exes. Then Even becomes single again 

you told me we were forever by Skamtrash (19k words) - they don’t exactly get back together. Isak finds out he's having a baby soon after Even breaks up with him so he makes the decision not to tell him. Except Even finds out on his own 3 years later. 

I'll be right beside you by hannakin (20k words) - ”It’s ironic isn’t it? I broke your heart and now mine is not working,” Isak continued. “Isak…” Even fought against the lump in his throat and the tears that burned behind his eyes. see the sequel below  

Don't Dream It's Over by hannakin (11k words) - WIP last update march 2019. A new chance at life for Isak and a new shot at love for them that Even is not going to waste. Not this time around. 

Let Me In by milk_o_vich (20k words) - Even’s eyes were wide and a little unfocused, flitting over Isak nervously. He was quiet for a long time, rain hitting the pavement outside, and Isak became kind of aware that Even must be freezing in his thin, damp t-shirt. Even pressed his lips together, then said, voice hoarse and quiet, “Can I stay here tonight?” 

Just give me a reason, just a little bit’s enough by Amfelia (21k words) - Even discovers life is not always shiny and bright, sometimes it is just really hard. 

shred by Jules1398 (22k words) - There were two versions of Isak Valtersen. The first Isak was the one that his friends knew. The second Isak, the real Isak, was much more complicated. He was trans, gay, and then there was his five year-old son, Adrian. Keeping the two Isaks separate wasn't that difficult. At least, not until he saw Even again. 

and you fight until the finish line carries you home by strangetowns (23k words) - “Did you love him?” Isak looked down at the glass in his hand, the wine he’d barely had any of. He shrugged, carefully noncommittal, and glanced at Even out of the corner of his eye, raising an eyebrow at his expression. “What, are you jealous?” “Hearing it makes me glad, actually.” “Why?” A beat of silence. Then - “You deserve all the chances at happiness you can get, Isak.”

We're Not Broken Just Bent by TotallyTinkerbell (26k words) - They had made a decision that didn’t fall easy on either of them. A decision that still kept Isak awake at night in his bed that was too big and in his kitchen that was too empty in the mornings. On the couch in front of his tv-cabinet which was void of Even’s film collection, and in his hallway which no longer had a dozen pairs of shoes in it. 

Self Control by nofeartina (28k words) - “I never meant to hurt you, Isak.” Without any pause Isak replies, “Well, you did.” He looks him in the eyes, and continues. “You fucked me up, Even.” 

Reflections by Laika_the_husband (30k words) - He started walking, listening to Even’s footsteps behind him. Fucking Even. Isak knew he didn’t do this on purpose, that it was just an episode, but he had just grown so tired of them. Every time Even relapsed Isak remembered how only a few years ago he had sworn to take care of him forever. How certain he had been, back then, that minute by minute would turn into day by day and week by week and year by year and then into forever. 

Different, but same by Crazyheart (31k words) - Isak and Even had broken up almost a year ago, and Even was devastated. At Easter he tried to get over it and went on a ski holiday with Yousef and Elias. At the cabin he met a guy that looked like Isak, except his dark, buzz cut hair, well trained body and rough, charismatic personality. The fact that he called himself Markus Simensen was even more confusing 

Scene Three, Take Two by folerdetdufoler (31k words) - Isak is 23, a student in the veterinary program at NMBU, and working an internship at a clinic in Kongsvinger. He hasn't seen Even in three years, but randomly bumps into him on the street when he's visiting his mom in Oslo. 

No day without it by skambition (32k words) - And his lips. Those goddamn lips. They brought back memories that Even had tried to forget about for like 10 years now, memories of laughing, smiling, kissing. 

and the whole world is empty by dreamer_of_dreams (45k words) - The conversations were always stilted and quiet and benignly untrue. The phone calls eventually petered out. So, Even did what he thought was right for Isak. On an ordinary Thursday, eating dinner next to each other on the couch, Even looked up from his bowl of noodles, glanced at the clock ticking 9.21 pm and said, “I think we should break up.” 

Every Minute Gets Easier by CrochetingWords (50k words) - His life had turned out beyond his wildest dreams. It was amazing, and when it got bad from time to time, that was still fine, it was still worth it, because the bad times were just a glimpse in their epic story and the good times were just so good, so pure, so abundant, that he knew they would make it through every struggle. Together. Which is why Isak never imagined his current situation: Filing an application for separation. 

Carry on by hannakin (52k words) - For a moment Even just looked at him. Beautiful, amazing Even who was the best thing that had ever happened to Isak. There were tears in his eyes too. When he shook his head sadly, one tear made its way down his cheek. “I think I want to break up” He finally whispered. 

God Only Knows (What I'd Do Without You) by sundaymournin (52k words) - the break up that would never really happen, but imagine if it did. If Even moved to Trondheim for Uni and returned a little over two years later. Imagine what Isak would do, who he would be, and what could've happened but definitely never would've. 

Love is a battlefield by Minutebyminute (56k words) - Love conquers all. Love defeats all. Sometimes love pulls you apart. Sometimes for a period in time, sometimes forever. And sometimes love is a battlefield.

I Feel It When You Don't Look At Me by photographer_of_thoughts (66k words) - A sequel. “I never wanted to leave without you, Even.” Isak whispered. “I know. But you did. And I let you go.” 

The Boy Who Couldn't Hold His Breath Underwater by patrick_ (camille0078) (102k words) - Now, Even is ready to own up to his mistakes and asks Isak if he wants to get back together again. Isak has no doubt about getting back together, but everyone else believes that he's just asking for more trouble. 

All Stories Are Echoes by sebastianL (felix_atticus) (123k words) - A love story. Because that's the kind of story it has to be. This is an Even who's grown up, who's had hard years since the last time we saw him, and who's trying to get his life back together on his own. This is about potential--realized or not--memory, bravery, movies, accidents, and the nature of stories. (I love this fic so much!)  

WIP - I'm not sure if they all are getting back together

Dysecdysis (a tender history in skin) by unsungyellowraincoat (9k words) - last update Feb 2019. Isak and Even are ex-boyfriends, but S3 never happened, so this is completely au. Terje Valtersen is recovering from a hemorrhagic stroke and that plays a big role in this story. 

We, who quietly bleed by howmanyisaksandevens (31k words) - last update May 2018. They break up, they get back together, they live happily ever after or so I choose to believe. 

The One That Got Away by cami_soul (37k words) - last update Sept 2019. In this AU Even never reached out to Isak on December 9. Isak never left the Christmas concert to go find Even. Even rejected all of Isak’s attempts to reach out to him. Isak came to accept Sonja’s statement that Even never really loved him. It is ten years later and Isak has just moved back to Oslo to work at the University of Oslo’s, Department of Medical Genetics. 

I swear that I will wake up next to you by dantetrieswriting (7k words) - last update July 2018. They were on-and-off for three years. Now two years have passed and Isak is 20 and in need of something exciting. An ad ropes him into booking a seat for a month long bus trip to Greece. It's new. It's interesting. It's cheap. Could it get any better? Yes it could. The ad didn't include the slight 6 foot blonde inconvenience going by the name of Even Bech Næsheim. And the fact that the inconvenience would be no more than five centimeters away from him at all times. Thirty days and 6 feet of sex on legs. 

There's nowhere i'd rather be by JustALittleBitOfYou (4k words) - last update March 2019. It's been a year since Even Bech Næsheim and Isak Valtersen broke-up. Well, technically, it's been a year since Isak sent Even away without a real reason. As they both try to rebuild their life, the Bech Næsheim siblings decide to host a one-week party in Mia's and Even's new couple's honor. Isak attends the party, without knowing the identity of the hosts. 

isak in the bathroom by sundaymournin (14k words) - 4/5 chapters posted. break-up fic where isak hides in the bathroom quite a bit, even is dating mikael, and everything is a bit off-center.

The Good Side by sundaymournin (12k words) - last update July 2018. The only thing Isak had in life was Even and the promise they’d made to each other when they were ten and twelve. Isak and Even used to date, broke up, but are still roommates. 

[msmkcreates]

Twice a Month I Fall in Love (7/???)

Characters: SF!Papyrus/Reader (Oh shit there's a slash there ahhhhhhhh it's happening)

[Back to the beginning]

TW: mentions of abuse, alcoholism, and such. Protecting a child from abuse. Please skip to the first break if you don't want to read that.

As always, inspired by @undertaleprompts !

---------

Mutt blinked in confusion, met only by darkness.

Just a second ago he had been having ice cream with Stretch, talking about…

...it didn't take him long to puzzle out what had happened, and the movement in his arms had him hyperaware as Zack curled against him even closer, his curls tickling his chin.

“...Zack?” He asked softly, bringing his arms back up around the kid.

“Changed anyway, huh?” He responded, even quieter.

“...m'afraid so, bucko.”

“No offense, Papyrus, but I kinda want my sister back.”

Mutt sighed, leaning his head to rest on Zack's curls. “...sorry kid. Wish I knew how it worked.”

He took the ensuing silence to observe what he could. Black always said he was the best at that.

Firstly, Zack made no move to untangle himself, so whatever was going on he clearly needed comfort. He reminded Mutt of a young Black, in those rare moments they could relax in their home and he was allowed to break. Before he hardened up, he would whisper apologies against Mutt's chest just like this.

Secondly, judging from the slight light coming in through the slats in the door, and the coats and things brushing against him, they're sitting in a closet.

“Can I ask?” Mutt muttered, and Zack shrugged.

“Sis woke me up and brought me here, and we've been hearing Mom and Dad yelling at each other,” he said. “...I think Mom's drunk. She keeps yelling up here for me to pack my stuff.”

Ah. Well, he certainly didn't like that, and he assumed you didn't either if you'd taken him to the closet.

“She's trying to take you?” He asked, and Zack nodded. “No way past her?”

Zack shook his head. “Sis said she's guarding the bottom of the stairs and Dad's blocking her from coming up.”

“This happen often?”

“Used to. Sometimes we would sneak out the back and stay with Grandpa.” Zack paused, and laid his head back down on his chest. “...First time since she moved out, though. But I don't think it's because she isn't trying.”

There were shouts, and Zack fell silent, and Mutt realized this was exactly why you'd been struggling to stay up.

“Don't worry, Zack. I won't let her take you.”

---------

It was a couple of hours before the yelling finally stopped, and he heard the front door slam. By that time, Zack was fast asleep against him, so Mutt hauled him up and out and into his bed.

“Damn, kid, you're gettin’ big,” he huffed, chuckling as he tucked him in. He's still small for his age, but seeing him now compared to how little he was when they met...the kid was obviously better for Mom moving out but it's still a delicate thing, emotionally.

He sat on the edge of the bed to sit vigil, just in case, as the sun slowly came up, and after some time he even laid out next to him, arm slung around him as he texted Black an update.

(Unknown Number): I'LL UPDATE HER. SHE WAS IN A PANIC WHEN SHE SWITCHED SO THIS WILL BE GOOD NEWS.

(xxx): yeah i figured. kid wasn't too happy about the switch either. but i got this...i've got practice with this sort of thing.

(Unknown Number): YOU'RE DOING GOOD

(Unknown Number): YOU'RE A GOOD BROTHER

Mutt chuckled a little at that, knowing his brother was embarrassed enough to type it and probably not looking for a response. He backed out and went to delete the conversation as usual…

...but his fingers stalled against your screen, and he looked down at the peacefully sleeping kid at his side…

...and he hit “add to contacts” instead.

You had kept this side of your family relatively quiet. He had some idea that your mom was like this, but seeing it firsthand...he wouldn't deny you if you or Zack ever needed a lifeline.

---------

Mutt stared at your journal, trying to will himself to leave it alone.

It wasn't your shared journal, with the purple stripes and cute multicolored pen that you normally left for him, no--this was the leather-bound one you no doubt  thought he didn't know about, stashed beneath your loose floorboard with your candy stash.

It's obvious you weren't hiding it from him, but rather your mother. He knows a bit about abusive parents who think they know best, so he knew where to look.

It was just like you. Purple leather with pressed stars, pages bent and the spine breaking. It had character, like your sketchbooks--must see a lot of use.

Everything last night must have happened so fast, because you'd left it open on your desk, and he wanted so badly to read it and see what you wrote that wasn't just for him.

The worst part was that he could see his name on the open page.

Damn his curiosity. With a sigh, he pulled over the Journal you use to communicate scrawling on the page to cover his ass.

i may have done something stupid, and awful. please don't be mad at me.

That was a weak cover, but you'd never been mad at him before, and he's sure he's done worse. He snatched your journal from the desk and started reading.

There's a lot that I still don't know about Papyrus (I have to remember to call him Mutt now). I wish I knew more, or that he wanted to share more--but maybe he's just as afraid as I am of what comes after this.

Even though it might be the end of the switches, I really want to meet him. Stretch makes him seem pretty much how I imagine him to be from how he writes: strong, lewd, and a little bit silly. I really can't wait to actually talk to him and touch him for myself, with my own hands. It's weird, knowing someone so intimately without ever meeting or talking to them.

But I also worry. I worry that he resents me for making everything so difficult. His life would be a lot easier if I didn't take up 1/15th of it.

He paused, frowning. He's never felt that way. Didn't you know how much you saved him sometimes? How being here and with Zack and on the surface kept him sane?

He probably doesn't want to meet me. I'm just some boring human, after all. He's so much more interesting. I guess I can understand why he's put it off for so long, like a rockstar meeting some groupie, but…

I don't know. I trust in our connection, even if he doesn't feel it.

But he does! He does feel it! Anger swelled in his head as he read and reread it. How could he be so stupid? How could he even think you didn't feel the way he did?

He set the book back down, grabbing your shared journal once more. He would make it right, he'd make sure you knew.

He'd give you and Zack somewhere safe to go if you need it.

i've been an idiot. my address and number are in your phone, and i can't wait to meet you.

He paused, thinking for a moment...before slowly adding:

i love you.

To Be Continued...

[fanficcreator]

Naively in Love (Bucky x Reader) Part 1

//Word Count: 1,710

Part 2

Highschool AU

Warnings: None

Notes: I know, I know, it’s been forever and a day since I’ve updated but that’s in the past! I’m glad to be back and hopefully I’ll be updating more frequently. This is somewhat of a “get back on my feet” fic that’s gonna be a couple of parts, hope y’all enjoy it! 

...

In the dim light of a setting sun, one would never believe that the slightest details could be noticed. But as a gaggle of teenagers hung around their school’s entrance, each and every detail was noticed in the (e/c) eyed starry gaze of a naive little girl. She was curled up in her favorite spot of the school, shielded by a tree’s reaching branches and surrounded by her notebooks of homework. 

She’d never seen anyone else but herself stay this late after school, but she wasn’t complaining in the slightest. People watching was one her favorite past times, anyway. However, upon looking closer, she realized that the group loitering a little ways down the grassy hill from her wasn’t just random people who went to her school.

It was James Buchanan Barnes and his group of friends. 

Butterflies were set alight in her stomach as she let the realization settle in.  She liked to call him Bucky in her mind; it takes the intimidating edge off of his name. She wouldn’t let go of the idea that she was falling in love. She never will. 

She was falling in love with Bucky Barnes: the football star of the school and the self-proclaimed heart breaker. How cliche but so so inviting. She found herself falling victim to his charms, and decided to let this be the single thing that she doesn’t over-think. 

Big mistake.

...

‘There he is...’ (y/n) thought to herself. Her lunch had gone cold as she occupied her time ogling over her crush. She set her chin in her hand and her eyes droop, locking her face into the classic love-struck look. Her cheeks felt warm as she let her mind run free with imaginary dates and ‘what-ifs’. 

She imagined picnics on warm summer days and carnival dates and kisses under the setting sun, her mind was reeling with tropes that she’d read about online. And her heart was filled with a fragile hope of those possibly coming true. 

“You’re drooling.” The friend sitting beside her elbowed her in her side, quite literally knocking (y/n) back into reality. She snickered when (y/n) tired to deny her. “You better wipe your mouth before Prince Charming sees you.” 

“Whatever,” she mumbled as she swiped her lip with her thumb, actually quite startled to find her finger coming away slightly wet, “it’s not like he would notice me anyway...”

Her friend just rolled her eyes, “This act is getting tired, (y/n), I’ve told you a million times that you’re someone worth noticing. You’ve gotta get it out of your head that you’re just some background character or something. It’s not healthy.” 

“I know, I know,” she dismissed, not wanting to hear another lecture on self worth, “But can you blame me? All throughout middle school I was nothing but ‘the quiet one’ in class, even the teachers thought of me that way.” (y/n) set her chin back into her hand, and she used her other to idly pick at her food. 

“Middle school was four years ago!” she exclaimed, “Wake up and smell the stress, (y/n), we’re in our last year of high school now. The labels that you had back then don’t matter anymore.”  

(y/n) just sighed in defeat as she dropped her fork onto the table, “I know.” Her tone, though low, seemed to indicate that she had let her friend’s words sink in, finally. When she turned to face her, she gave her a small smile, thanking her without saying a word. 

Her friend gave her a chuckle and a shove in her shoulder, “The best way for you to thank me, would be to listen to me.” 

“Yeah yeah...” (y/n) dismissed as she pick up her fork from the table, “I’m working on it.” 

“Mm hm,” she responded, returning to her lunch as well and glancing back over to Bucky and his group of boys when they randomly decided to get rowdy. She was quite startled to meet the blue eyed gaze of Bucky himself, but quickly got over herself and elbowed (y/n) in her side, “Don’t look now, but Prince Charming is looking this way.” 

“What made you wanna tell me that?” she asked, slightly annoyed, “It’s not like I’m the only person on this side of the room.” 

“I think he might be looking at you, (y/n). If not at you then he’s eyeing down the poster behind us pretty hard.” When (y/n) merely rolled her eyes and shook her head, her friend said, “go ahead and test it then. Wave at him and see if he waves back.” 

Begrudgingly, (y/n) sent a smile and a small wave Bucky’s way, faltering in her wave when he returned it with a smirk. The smile on (y/n) face grew as she felt butterflies in her stomach and warmth on her cheeks. He noticed her. He noticed her. 

“You’re welcome,” Her friend proclaimed boastfully as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

“Shut up.” (y/n) responded, a chuckle softening her words as she rode on the giddiness of being noticed by her crush.

For the rest of her lunch period, (y/n) idly ate her cold lunch as she let her mind continue daydreaming about what the she and Bucky could be. Certain things deserved to be seen through rosy glasses.

...

When she finally arrived at her home, she unceremoniously threw her body onto her bed and rested her eyes for a few moments before pulling out her phone. 

As she idly scrolled through her social media, it notified her that she had gotten a message. She dismissed it at the moment, taking as her friend sending her a random post that she thought was funny, but upon further inspection, she realized that it certainly was not her friend. 

The message was from Bucky Barnes, the boy who randomly decided to notice her that day after months of looking the other way. 

She gripped her phone as she stared at the sudden notification, biting her lip in anticipation and slight fear of what it might say. She didn’t want to seem too desperate by answering it seconds after she got it, but she could only distract herself for two minutes before she couldn’t handle the anxiety anymore. 

With a calming breath, yet a pounding heart, she tapped the top of her screen to open up the message. 

bbarnes: Hey

One simple word. That’s all it took to have her heart dropping into her stomach and her palms sweating.

(y/n): Hi 

She thought it would be best if he would carry the conversation, seeing as he was the one who reached out to her in the first place. And, the less words she says, the less of a chance she has of scaring him off by seeming too eager or talkative. 

bbarnes: I noticed you under the tree earlier...any reason why you stay there after school? 

The giddiness in her system over-powered her slight suspicion of why he decided to notice her after years of over-looking her in the halls. So, without hesitation, she explained herself, letting her smile over-take her cheeks. 

(y/n): It’s just my favorite place to sit is all. What about you? Why do you and your friends loiter outside the building after school? 

She read and reread her message before sending it to him, and after a few moments of waiting if he would respond to her, she began to worry if her response was too long or if her question caught him off guard. 

bbarnes: Where else do you expect a group of teenage boys to hang around? 

(y/n): I dunno...a mall maybe?

bbarnes: That’s too legal for our taste. We wanna feel like rebels, and loitering is as far as my friends are planning to go. Pretty dangerous, I know.

(y/n): Crime is a pretty slippery slope, man. Be careful, cuz before you know it, you’ll be stealing candy bars from grocery stores. 

bbarnes: Too late for me, doll, I stole a Twix this afternoon. I’m already a cold hard criminal ;) 

She couldn’t believe she was actually talking to him. She was elated to find out that he had a personality. Most of the boys at her school tend to have the personality of rice cracker. (y/n) would be devastated if that proved to be true for Bucky. And he wasn’t half bad at holding a conversation. 

bbarnes: All joking aside, don’t you have any friends to keep you company? I’m sure sitting all alone is boring for you.

(y/n): I do...but she has to get home in enough time to take her afternoon nap before her parents nag at there to get her chores done. 

bbarnes: Only one friend in the entire student body?

(y/n): I like to keep my circle small. Past experiences have told me that big groups lead to bigger problems. 

bbarnes: Ah, I see. Well, you’re welcome to join my group if you want. I don’t like seeing you under that tree all by yourself. 

(y/n): I don’t know...I don’t want to mess anything up. 

bbarnes: Trust me, you wouldn’t. The boys need a calm girl like you to ground them. They’ve been a little rowdy lately.

(y/n): You think it’s my job to calm your friends down? 

bbarnes: Not necessarily your job...more like volunteer work. I can’t control ‘em on my own, doll, I need back up. 

(y/n):  Can you promise me that none of you guys are gonna drop me for some random boy? 

bbarnes: I can’t make that a promise, but I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for any trouble makers ;)

bbarnes: Are you in or out?

(y/n) knew that this interaction seemed too good to be true. She knew that he had to have some kind of ulterior motive with this. But, she also knew that this had the potential to be a really great experience for her. It could be her first love. She didn’t want to let her overly critical brain to get in the way of that chance. 

So instead of listening to her brain, she decided to listen to her heart. And for the first time in her life, she felt the freedom of living like a teenager. Naively, and caution free. 

(y/n): I’m in.

[silenthillmutual]

okay i’m trying to make an executive decision to work on updating all my fics, yes! even the mob psycho 100 and one punch man fics! even the osomatsu-san/one punch man crossover! 

so here’s my little list of fics i need to work on:

did you say ‘please just follow me?’ i thought you wanted me (cause i want you all to myself) - one punch man - saitama/genos, genos/metal bat. 

i used to have more of an idea about where i was going with this before my computer crashed a while ago and i lost all my notes on it. but it’s unrequited saitama -> genos and might actually end in genos/metal bat. i might get more steam for it when season 2 drops. 

i have three lines for this written so far

hands down - one punch man - saitama/genos.

i think i have an outline for this somewhere, but i’ve really run out of steam to update it despite how popular it was. again, once i rewatch the series and/or watch season two, or read it or something i might get more steam but for right now it hasn’t piqued my interest.

and now i just sit in silence - mob psycho 100 - gen (may have slight teru/mob)

the main reason i haven’t updated this is because it’s super depressing.

i do have a vague idea of how it will end but i haven’t decided how much of canon it needs to follow before i get to that end

born from - mob psycho 100 - gen

i do in fact have an outline for this! i am stuck on a puzzle and i know nothing about puzzle-writing...i should probably do some research while i’m at work for the puzzle i’m currently working on. and it would probably be a good idea to reread the manga.

this has a blog so i can keep myself up-to-date on it all. 

do i wanna know? - mob psycho 100 - teru/mob

i know what the endgame is gonna be and all but i don’t totally remember what all i was going to do with this. i think there was going to be some mob/onigawara in it? and maybe some shou/ritsu and reigen/serizawa

i should work on an outline at work

better things - danganronpa - ishimaru/mondo

again, i know what the endgame is but since i don’t have an outline i’m not entirely sure what my initial plan was on getting to it. 

five oh five - jojo’s bizarre adventure - various

it’s a silent hill au and i think i’m the only one invested in it. it’s not even an ongoing story so much as a place to drop little drabbles i’ve thought of for it here and there. so it’s not one that i feel all that pressured to update.

starfish crusaders - jojo’s bizarre adventure - various

i do have another chapter started for this! unfortunately i think it’s too soon for that chapter. i guess i could skip around a bit, and finish up the chapte ri have started, publish and backtrack, but part of me thinks that i should write jonathan meeting speedwagon or joseph & suzi q meeting caesar before i move on to polnareff meeting avdol.

unlike other fics where i don’t have an outline, i have a really clearcut idea of the order of events and how the fic will end (more or less). like five oh five it’s more for drabbles than anything else but there will be something of an overarching plotline. 

something to hold onto - osomatsu-san/one punch man - karamatsu/chibita, saitama/genos

i think i’m only gonna do one more chapter of this fic.

to be honest, i actually keep forgetting this one even exists. it was a very weird au idea that i had and i frequently forget it’s one i actually wrote down. but it never really had a long premise to begin with, so i think if i can bang out one more chapter it should be good to be finished. 

tell me where it hurts - danganronpa - ishimaru/mondo

there’s only one more chapter left of this one, too, and i’ve actually started it, i’m just not sure how to end it. i really need to stop procrastinating and just work on it, and see where it gets me, even if i’m not totally satisfied. i can always go back and edit before i publish, but i think putting it off is just making matters worse.

let’s call the whole thing off - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, background others

i have a vague idea for a few things that will happen in this fic but i don’t think it will be a long, ongoing thing. i haven’t had a desire to work on it because i initially started it for my ex-boyfriend before he dropped all interests we had in common and we broke up.

i do have the next chapter started but i haven’t been thrilled with how it’s turning out, but i might as well finish it up and publish it.

the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, avdol/polnareff

i have a couple different next chapters started but i haven’t decided on one yet, hence why it has not been updated.

i really should make an outline for this fic.

it’s mostly a fic of drabbles rather than a fic with an overarching plotline, outside of them eventually getting together.

she told me to come but i was already there - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, background hol/polnareff/avdol

i have the last chapter started but not finished, mostly because it will be a very long chapter and i have not had the focus needed to work on it.

i have most of the final lineup prepared but i need a month where i am not swamped to just work on writing it and not on worrying about other stuff I have to do. 

also i have been thinking about writing a follow-up to it but have not decided yet if that would be worth it, although i do have plot ideas.

heart of glass - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, background avdol/polnareff

i actually have a full outline written of this. all i need is the time to follow it through. i have the next chapter started, but have not felt like i had the time to seriously focus on it in the way i feel i need to for a fic of this magnitude. so it has been a little while since i updated because i actually need to sit down with what i have written (all of which is on the computer, so not something i can do at work) and work out what is left to be written of the next chapter and just do it. hopefully april will be less busy for me.

heads on a science apart - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin

i have a vague idea of the endgame for this and something of a plotline to follow but i should still write out an outline. i have not started the next chapter yet and am not sure what to do with it.

i mostly update this as my mental health needs it.

warmth - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin

no endgame in mind! no outline! i’m a wreck!

no but really i should write an outline for this poor fic. so far all i have in mind is that i update it as my mental health dictates with no particular aim about the story. i know that i eventually want to describe all the ways things are different, but i need to set up an outline in order to do this well. 

masterpiece theatre - akira/mob psycho 100 - kaneda/tetsuo, potentially teru/mob

only the vaguest ideas of what i’m doing here, i just wanted to explore tetsuo’s mental state and write some kanetetsu since i barely see any in the tags on ao3. i also really want to explore how tetsuo would interact in this kind of an alternate reality and in reaction to other espers who have come about their talents more naturally (and others who have not) 

fics like 30 prompts to keep the nasties away and jotakak week 2018 just need to be updated by prompt. i know 30 prompts i had started the next chapter but lost it when my computer crashed. i have the last chapter of jotakak week started, but it’s the middle part i’ve been struggling on.

[puncture]

10/5/21

So this is literally like the first update to the blog in over four years, but I've been studying Japanese again! It's been over 3 months now. In this post I'm going to go into the resources I'm using, and some goals of mine. If it helps you out, that's great. However I'm mostly just writing this to keep track of my progress.

I'm in N4 territory, though I'm not studying for the JLPT. I might take it someday but I don't think I'd bother with anything but N1.

Vocabulary

I'm using the Wanikani anki deck. I had a WK subscription years ago but I'm just more of a fan of doing this at a slightly adjusted pace. Almost six years ago I was at level 21-ish, I've been doing it daily now and I'm at level 11. I started at 10 new words per day but I upped it to 20 maybe a month ago. I'm still relearning material that my brain has deep in its recesses, but once I get past where I stopped I might lower the new words per day. I also want to get more into immersing so this deck, while great for me to pick up habits, and make sure I learn something every. single. day.--it's not the only vocab source I intend to have. Though after all this time it has definitely been the one thing that has made learning less daunting.

Grammar

I went through the new Tobira book for beginners. Its equivalent to Genki I. I found it pretty cool but not as different from Genki as I'd hoped. I'm just glad I got my hands on it because that's really what got me back into learning Japanese this past summer.

Now I've moved on to Genki II since Tobira II won't be out until next year. What can I say about Genki? It's Genki. I'm really just speeding through, reading grammar explanations, dialogues, and the passages in the back of the book.

Aside from this, I use, read, and refer to Sakubi, Tae Kim, Shin Kanzen Master N4, Try! N4, and Nihongo Challenge N4.

Immersion

Ah, pain. To just be upfront, my listening sucks. I don't practice it like I should. Moving on...

For reading I read NHK Easy news. As you can imagine, lately it's mostly about COVID but it's also pretty interesting and usually not too bad.

I started a kids novel last night. The series is called ポレポレ日記. It's aimed at girls around 12-ish, but it's not a fantasy setting so reading the first few pages last night, the vocabulary isn't too hard. The grammar is kicking my butt though. Even when I recognize patterns it's difficult to fully parse some sentences. I just pick up what I can and move on though. I don't know if I'll get through since it's very easy for me to become fatigued and discouraged when immersing, but compared to some other books for kids I've tried reading, I felt really good about the fact that most of the kanji and words on the first few pages of this book were ones that I already knew.

I definitely recommend Kodansha's Blue Bird line of books if you are interested in novels aimed at preteens and early teens. Kindle Unlimited Japan has a ton. Struggling through this is at least more fun than reading picture books.

The thing is, I'm not studying Japanese to move there, or to get a job, or for school, I'm just doing it to consume media. With that in mind, I want to get into native material as soon as I can! I've seen way too many people who go through Genki I/II, then Integrated Approach to Intermediate Japanese, then Tobira, then all JLPT study materials, and then still feel a huge brick wall is in front of them when they confront reading native material. So I would like to kick that wall down as soon as possible.

Goals

My current short term goals are just to finish Genki II, get through Tae Kim reread, and read all the passages in Nihongo Challenge N4. If I put my mind to it, these things could be finished by the end of October. Truthfully they could be finished by the end of next week but I need time to just let things marinate in my brain.

I would put finish this book I'm reading on my list of short term goals, but I still need more time to figure out if this is really something I think I can get through.

Medium term: Hard to define. I'd like to finish my Wanikani deck by January 2023 which would mean from here on out I do an average of 16 words per day. I'd like to one way or another, finish something in Japanese. Whether it be a visual novel, otome game, a jrpg, a novel, an anime, or a drama. Once I get more comfortable with reading I'd like to read at least one book in Japanese per month.

Long term: I'd like to be able to play and comfortably read Dragon Quest X without translation tools. Honestly this isn't even that lofty of a goal, but yeah!

[latetothegreysparty]

Step Back

Hello, dear friends! I’ve finally managed to get something written. Though it took me over a month (I think), I finally have the next chapter of my post-divorce multi-chapter fic. It’s the one that began with Family Dinner. If you’d like to read or reread the first three chapters, they’re here, here, and here. I’m still looking for a name for this one. I’m tentatively think of calling it Mosaic. What do you guys think of that? Anyway, here it is. It’s kind of long, so settle in.

Step Back

Owen let out a deep breath as he walked out of the exam room he’d been in. The patient had been hit by a car while riding his bicycle, and he had sustained a variety of injuries. Owen didn’t think he had any internal injuries requiring surgery, but the patient was displaying a few neurological symptoms. “Will you page Dr. Shepherd?” Owen asked the resident who stood outside the exam room with him. The resident nodded wordlessly and stepped around the corner to complete the task he’d been assigned.

Owen walked over to the desk, grabbed a tablet, and let his mind wander as he began updating the patient’s chart. He was hoping he could catch Amelia for a moment when she came down for the consult. She’d been avoiding him ever since their argument 5 nights ago. It seemed like any time he entered a room she was in, she quickly found an excuse to leave. He’d tried at least once each day to start a conversation with her, but each time, she’d rushed off without even making eye contact. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with her evasiveness. “Dr. Hunt,” he heard the resident say. Owen looked up, wordlessly encouraging the resident to keep talking. “Dr. Shepherd says she’s swamped and can’t make it down, but she’s sending someone else from neuro to evaluate the patient.”

Owen sighed in exasperation. “Of course she did,” he said, clearly frustrated. The resident furrowed his eyebrows, obviously confused by Owen’s comment, but Owen had no interest in explaining the situation to the resident and making himself and Amelia the subject of the latest hospital gossip. “Gomez, can you stay with the patient and let me know what neuro says when they come down to evaluate the patient?” he asked the resident as he set down the tablet and stood up from the desk. “I’m going to go talk to Dr. Pierce for a moment.”

The decision to seek out Maggie was a strategic one. He was sure Amelia had told both Maggie and Meredith that she was avoiding him and enlisted their help in staying away from him. However, he wanted to find Maggie specifically because she was far easier to read than Meredith. His eyes scanned the ER, and they eventually landed on April Kepner who was approaching the desk. “Kepner, have you seen Pierce?” he asked.

April nodded. “Yep, she’s in exam 3 right now with a patient.”

“Thanks,” Owen said, already heading in the direction of exam room 3. He stopped about 5 feet away from the door and busied himself with checking his email. Within minutes, the door was opening and Maggie was walking out. “Pierce, do you have a few minutes?” he asked.

He could see Maggie’s eyes go wide for a split second, but she quickly recovered. “Oh, um, yeah, do you need a consult?” she stuttered. Owen said nothing in response. Instead, he merely began to walk toward exam room 6, which he knew was empty. Maggie followed him into the room, and once she stepped in, he closed the door. “Owen, what are we doing in here? There’s no patient,” she said, her voice betraying her nervousness.

“Where is Amelia?” Owen asked, cutting right to the chase. “I really need to speak to her, and I’d appreciate it if I could catch her for a moment without her avoiding me like she has been for the last five days.”

Maggie’s eyebrows raised. “Why would you think I-” she began, but he didn’t allow her time to finish her question.

“You’re her sister, Maggie. I know she’s told you that she’s trying not to see me. But we need to talk to each other sooner or later. You know that as well as I do. So could you please tell me where I might find her?”

Maggie averted her gaze, taking a moment to weigh her options. In the end, she agreed that Amelia was going to have to face this one sooner or later, so it might as well be now so Maggie didn’t have to continue to be placed in the middle of whatever this was. Still, she huffed. “Amelia’s going to kill me for this.” When Owen didn’t respond, she continued. “She’s up in her office updating charts right now, but she has the blinds pulled so nobody can see that she’s in there.”

“Thank you,” Owen said, already on his way out of the room. Maggie sank down into the chair in the corner of the room and sighed. Amelia probably was going to kill her.

Amelia sat in her office, absentmindedly typing into a patient chart from this morning. She was in no hurry to get this finished, that was for sure. As she continued to lazily complete the task, she was startled nearly out of her chair by the sound of her office door opening. Nobody had knocked on her door, of that she was certain. “What the hell-” she started to say, but she was interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice.

“My goodness, Amelia, you really are swamped,” he said, the condescension thick in his voice. “I can certainly see how you didn’t have time to come down for a consult.”

Amelia narrowed her eyes, half tempted to stand up from her chair so she could get in his face and go toe to toe with him. “Your patient received a neuro consult, Dr. Hunt. The department of neurosurgery fulfilled its duty to your patient. As the chief of neurosurgery, I am perfectly within my rights to delegate some tasks to other physicians in my department. Contrary to what some of the entitled physicians in the emergency department may think, you are owed only a consult from somebody within my department. You are not entitled to cherry-pick the surgeon who does the consult. It is the responsibility of the chief of the department to divide up the work of the department, not the responsibility of self-important physicians in other departments who think they are entitled to a consult from the head of the department for every damn case that walks through the door.”

Owen folded his arms, just barely controlling the urge to begin yelling. “Cut the crap, Amelia,” he bit out. “You’re avoiding me, and you’re pissed because I came and found you.”

“No,” she argued, “I’m pissed because you entered my office without knocking.”

Owen let out a humorless chuckle. “Right, of course. Look me in the eye right now and tell me you’re not avoiding me.” She said nothing, merely picking back up the tablet she’d set down to continue with her charting. “Amelia, this is ridiculous!” he said, his voice beginning to rise. “This is exactly what you did when we were married, and this is the reason we’re divorced. We have one tense conversation, and then you just walk out the door and refuse to speak to me about anything, no matter how many times I try to talk to you. How can you ever expect to resolve our issues if you refuse to talk about them every single time?”

She slammed the tablet down on the desk, quickly losing any calm facade she may have had when he walked in the door. “Me? How can I hope to resolve our issues? What about you?! You storm into my office without knocking and then tell me that the failure of our marriage was all my fault. Do you think that makes me inclined to talk out our problems with you? Yes, Owen, I’d love to have a conversation with you so you can tell me more about how every single thing that has ever gone wrong in our relationship was my fault. While you’re at it, why don’t you tell me about what a shitty physician and sister I am?”

Owen opened his mouth to yell back, but quickly snapped it shut. If there was any hope of saving this from becoming another extremely long rough patch in their relationship, he needed to shut down this conversation right now. “Amelia, you were right,” he said, letting out a sigh as he struggled to stop himself from responding to the way he felt she’d mischaracterized his words.

Amelia’s eyes snapped to his. That definitely wasn’t what she expected him to say. “Excuse me?” she asked.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself to calmly lay out his point. “You were right last time we spoke. You said that we needed to figure things out. We do. And standing here in your office screaming at each other and seeing who can cut deeper is not going to help us figure anything out. We need to set aside a time when we’re going to talk about this. We have to come into the conversation prepared to talk about our issues, and we have to do our best to stay calm and not do what we did just now. Can we agree to a time to talk?”

Amelia rubbed her forehead with her palm. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid. There were so many problems between the two of them, and just the thought of trying to begin to work through those was exhausting. “Owen, I really think we should just let this drop,” she said quietly. “Clearly this isn’t meant to work out. Every time we get more than 30 seconds into a serious conversation, it all goes to hell. I think this is our sign that we just need to leave whatever there was between us in the past.”

He was tempted to say: “Wow, that’s funny coming from the woman who, just five days ago, accused me of being the one who walked out on our marriage too quickly,” but he didn’t think that would go over well. Instead, he said: “Amelia, I’m just asking for one more try. There was so much love there, and I think there still is. I don’t think I can let that go without giving it one more try. Especially when he haven’t even given it a single good one yet. All we’ve done are haphazard conversations when we were both caught off guard. I’m asking for one where we collect our thoughts beforehand and make a conscious effort not to get angry and hurl accusations. Just one more try. And if that doesn’t work out, then maybe you’re right that it’s time to let it go.” That last sentence had tasted bitter in his mouth, but he felt like he needed to say it if there was any hope of her agreeing to a conversation.

She stared at him for a few long moments, weighing his proposal in her mind. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to him, she spoke. “Okay,” she began, but quickly continued upon seeing his eyes light up, “but only by my rules. It has to be at your house, and I have to drive myself over there. That way, I can leave whenever I want.” He looked alarmed by that request, so she quickly explained so he wouldn’t think she was accusing him of being the sort of man who would hold someone hostage. “Not because I think you’re some sort of crazed abductor or something,” she said in a rush. “I want to be able to leave whenever I want, and I want there to be no argument about it. As soon as I feel like the conversation is over, I am leaving, and so help me, you better not try to convince me to stay. As soon as I’m done with the conversation, I’m walking out the door, getting in my car, and leaving, and you will let me be finished with the conversation without argument.”

Owen’s heart sank a bit at her stipulations. It sounded like she didn’t hold out much hope for having a productive conversation. Still, she had agreed to have a conversation with him. This was much further than he’d gotten when they were married. He figured he had to take what he could get. “Okay,” he said quietly. “I can do that. Does tonight after our shifts are over work for you?”

She looked surprised. “Isn’t that a bit soon, Owen?” she asked. “Shouldn’t we take some more time to think about it?”

“I don’t think so. If we think about it too much individually, we’ll overthink everything and it’ll be far more complicated than it needs to be,” he reasoned. “And this doesn’t need to be. Complicated, I mean. I don’t have any delusions that we’re going to solve every single problem we’ve ever had in one conversation. It’s going to take a lot more than one night to fix everything. But we have to start somewhere, and we might as well start tonight.”

She nodded. “Okay, if that’s what you want, then we can do that, but my rules still stand.” He nodded reluctantly, hoping she would give the conversation more of a chance than her conditions seemed to suggest she would. “I guess I’ll see you this evening, then,” she said, and then she turned to face the door. He took her not-so-subtle hint and left her office, already mulling over how he would tee up the conversation so that she wouldn’t be walking out his front door 3 minutes in, already choosing to give up on their relationship for good.

-

Owen paced restlessly in his living room. It had been over an hour since she’d left the hospital. He’d finished his shift before she did, but he’d puttered around the hospital, finding tasks to busy himself with so he would know when she was done with her shift and could leave at the same time as she did. It was bad enough to have the thought of this conversation looming over his head all afternoon, but he thought he might actually go crazy if he didn’t at least know what time to expect her to arrive. So now he paced around his living room, wondering where she could possibly be. She really should have been here by now. Did she decide not to come? Did she get into a car accident? Just as he was debating the idea of calling her and seeing what was going on, he heard a knock at the door. The nerves he had been feeling all night reached a new level as he realized that this was the moment: they were about to find out whether or not they were going to give this another try. He took a deep, calming breath to steady himself before walking to the front door and answering it.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” he said quietly as he opened the door. She said nothing as she stepped inside and began removing her shoes. He wasn’t encouraged by her demeanor. “Can I take your jacket for you?” he asked with a smile, hoping to lighten up the tense mood a little.

She smiled a weak smile that didn’t really reach her eyes. “Sure, thanks,” she said softly, taking her jacket off and handing it to him. As he hung her jacket in the closet, she made her way to the living room and sat down on the couch. She was just getting settled as he came in to join her. He looked her pointedly in the eye and then looked at the space next to her, hoping like hell she wouldn’t actually make him ask her if it was okay if he sat next to her. She nodded, and he moved to sit down. A little voice in the back of his brain told him that this was exactly why he needed to get this right. They understood each other. Most of the times they didn’t even need words; they just understood each other. That was rare, and that was worth saving.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

She dropped her eyes to the floor and nodded. “Do you want to go first or should I?”

He paused for a moment. He already knew what he wanted to say, but maybe it would be better to hear her thoughts first. “Why don’t you start?”

She nodded and then sighed. “I’m just so tired, Owen,” she said softly. “You were right earlier. I love you. I really do. But I’m just too tired. It seems like every time we start moving in a good direction, we end up right back where we left off last time with the yelling and the fighting and the leaving. I know I’ve done my fair share of running, but you have too. We can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep getting back together and then tearing each other apart and running away as soon as things get hard. I’ve been hurt too many times, and I can’t keep doing it. If this is going to hurt me so deeply every time we try it, I need to walk away before it becomes the thing that breaks me for good.”

Owen nodded, feeling a tear form in the corner of his eye. She didn’t even seem angry, just resigned. That was worse than angry. An angry Amelia was passionate, willing to fight, and full of life. Sure, she drove him up the wall, but he knew that it was possible to harness that energy and make something of it. But this dull shell that was tired and resigned made him doubt that there was any way he could bring them back together. He hoped she’d listen to what he had to say and give it a shot.

“I think we’ve been going about this all wrong,” he said. “We’re trying to do everything at 100 miles an hour because that’s the sort of people we are. We do everything full on, with passion and emotion and all of our energy. But if we do that here, we end up in a constant pendulum between euphoria and heartbreak. I don’t think that’s sustainable for either of us.”

She nodded slowly, agreeing with what he’d said so far, but not fully understanding what he meant by it. “Okay, so what are you saying?” she asked.

“Instead of trying to work everything out from the start, I think we need to take a step back. We’re not going to solve several months and an entire marriage’s worth of problems in one conversation. If we try, we’ll just end up yelling and hurting each other like we have before. I think we need to start fresh in our relationship and take things slow. Then, when things come up, we need to commit to approaching them with fresh eyes instead of rehashing the past. Clearly whatever way we tried to handle things didn’t work before, so why bring it back up? We need to look at each issue through a new lens whenever it comes up and try to solve it as it stands now rather than cutting open all of our old wounds.”

Amelia eyed him skeptically. “So you’re basically saying that we should agree to just pretend like all the bad stuff never happened? That sounds nice in theory, but people’s memories don’t work like that. We can say we’ll forgive and forget, but it’ll be there in the back of our minds. That’s even worse than fighting over it. We’ll be angry and resentful, but we won’t be able to say we are.”

“No, I’m not saying we forget about all of it,” he replied. “Of course we’ll always have those memories. I’m saying that we wait until each problem naturally comes up again to deal with them individually instead of trying to knock it all out at once, and that when we do have those conversations, we agree to try to start the conversation over rather than pick back up where we left off. That way we’re not blaming and pointing fingers. I’m sure there will be some residual feelings of hurt and anger about what happened when we were married, but maybe we can both do our best not to bring up the ways we both went wrong in the heat of angry moments. It’s not perfect. I know that. But I don’t think there is a perfect way to do this. If there were, this wouldn’t be so incredibly hard.”

Amelia drew in a deep breath and tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling as she considered his suggestion. On one hand, he was right that the way they had been trying to work through things had been failing in a rather spectacular fashion. It probably wouldn’t hurt to try something different. On the other hand, the way he was proposing sounded far too simple and idealistic to work. It was fine to make that kind of commitment now when they were both calm, but what would happen in the heat of the moment when they were actually trying to address these issues? Knowing their two tempers, it seemed inevitable that the past would begin to creep into the mix. “I don’t know Owen,” she whispered, her mind spinning as she tried to figure out where to go from here.

He grabbed her hands before he could question whether or not that was a wise move. “Amelia, I’m not asking you to commit to the long haul right now. I’m just asking for a chance to start over, take it slow, and see if we can do better with a different approach. Maybe we can’t. If not, then we can walk away. But isn’t it worth one more shot?”

He was starting to wear her down. It really did sound nice to have one more chance. However, she couldn’t ignore the little voice in her head that told her that it would probably hurt even more the second time around if it ended poorly. She opened her mouth to tell him that, but the word that came out was, “Okay.”

He couldn’t help the way his face lit up when he heard her response. He knew his wide smile was probably overwhelming her, but he just couldn’t do anything to stop it. He did his best to temper his words, though. “I’m really glad to hear that,” he said gently. “I hope I can do better this time.”

She nodded numbly, still confused as to why she’d said what she did. “Me too,” she whispered. She sat staring at him for a few long moments as he continued to beam, and then she just couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to get out before his hope and optimism freaked her out enough to tell him that didn’t want to give it a try after all. “I think I should be going,” she said as she stood up from the couch. She didn’t miss the way his face fell when she said this.

He recovered quickly. “Yeah, of course,” he said, standing up to go grab her coat from the closet. He helped her into her coat and then watched her walk out the door, get into her car and drive away. He wasn’t sure how to feel about her response. She’d agreed to try again, but her demeanor had seemed far from enthusiastic. He wasn’t sure she completely believed this could work. Part of him wondered if she was just humoring him. One thing was for sure, though: it could’ve gone much worse than it did. At least, that’s what he continued to tell himself for the rest of the evening as he replayed the conversation in his mind.

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

WLW Fic Rec List

with input from my beautiful friend @gee13

I promised a random anon I would give ‘em a more complete list of recs several months ago so here- in no particular order I have, Glee, Pretty Little Liars, Pitch Perfect, Girl Meets World, Supergirl, The 100,  The Good Place, and Riverdale. 

There’s very little porn without plot in here, but I went through my favorites on fanfiction.net and my history on Ao3 and if I recognized the fic I put it down. So some might have slipped through.

As I was going through these and rereading some old favorites I forgot about I wrote little bios. If your work, or a work you really like doesn’t have a bio it’s just cause I remembered it was really good and didn’t feel a need to reread it. If you want comment your own and I’ll edit the post and give you credit. 

The minimum qualifications for all of these were:

At least 2k words for a one shot, if it was a multi chapter there had to be at least 1k words per chapter (For example: 14 chapters, 14k words)

It had to be completed or updated in the last year ish (but like I was flexible based on the quality, and if I knew the author or the deal or not)

It had to be Ao3 or Fanfiction.net and tagged appropriately (so I could find it)

Also I never really got into g!p stuff because I ran into a lot of transphobic or just really offensive stuff early on which put me off of it.

Or the alpha omega stuff, when my goach found out I was reading fanfiction she said ‘great just nothing with alpha omega shit okay” and that was like four years ago but I don’t care enough now to start. So none of those are on here (maybe in faberry but I don’t think so)

And they also had to be english, my spanish is still pretty bad so I can’t really read any of those- sorry :(

But let me know if the link ain’t right. And if you think something should be added let me know too, and I’ll read it and add it, and give you credit. My tastes have changed over the years to be slightly so if there’s something here that you think is distateful message me being like “can you reread this?” because it might’ve slipped through. Or I might be like “m8 thats some gay ass shit right there, agr33 to disagr33.” We’re all just here to read out otps getting together again and again in different ways, let’s just be chill about it

But don’t worry- what’s important is at the end of the day they’re all very very gay. 

Italics is required reading for each fandom

Glee

Faberry

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (a must read) and the sequel Dead Girls Don’t get a Happy Ending - if you read nothing else for the rest of your life read this, it was written by one of the kindest women I know

You Don’t have the Right

A Perfect Match - slow burn, good if you like tennis

Comfortably Numb

Black Holes and Revelations

Angel Eyes

I’ll Be

Beers and Strippers

Kill the Light

Racing Against the Sun (fucking depressing I cried)

The Christmas Act

Acceptance and it’s sequels: Remembrance and Convergence

Making Angels Cry

Better Than Ice Cream - cute kid!faberry fic

Alone Together - slow burn af but worth the read

A Million Miles of Fun - ridiculous and great

Cuddle Monster - fluffy fluffy crack

Zero, Thirtyseven, Nine - I read this awhile ago and was too young to comprehend the genius

Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other - I was just thinking about this fic the other day!

Should’ve Asked for Directions - if you haven’t read this- read it I swear to god

An Accident of Paradise

Backwards Walk  and the companion Between The Drinks And Subtle Things - angsty and painful, I once attempted to write a happy ending and even my fluffy ass failed 

Better Where it’s Wetter - Introduced me to Ellen so…

Boats in the Sky

The Wish

Give your Heart a Break - left me a lil unsatisfied, but gave me some room to daydream about an epilogue

We might fall hard We might fall fast

I Told Him

Opposite Poles, Equal Partners - a quick angsty one shot to leave you unsatisfied :)))))))))

Quinn’s Second Time - I remember this being good awhile back, let me know ya’ll

Marley and Quinn

My Lost was Saying Found

Brittana

12 Days

Pretty Little Liars

Emison:

Ali’s Second Chance

Duplicity

Sinner’s Lullaby

the supreme 

Dreaming

Gravity

Affair

In Holy Matrimony

Our War

A Break From Being Me

Acquired Madness

Her Silence is Deafening

It’s a Process

Orange is the new Alison

Mermaid

Brooklyn and the Baby

Dreaming - tbh I’m not sure if it’s good, but the concepts amazing and the first chapters are really good so we’ll see

Downtown Train - this author is an investment, I have a feeling they’ll get better with time and this fic is already really good. Perfect for a relaxing rainy day, or right before you go to bed because it won’t keep you up. Just like a chill fic bruh

Begin Again - THAT ONE BASED OF AN OLD ASS POST I MADE FOR NOTES BECAUSE I KNEW YOU FOOLS WOULD EAT IT UP AND SOMEHOW TURNED OUT REALLY WELL AND I DIDN’T EVEN ASK THEM TO WRITE IT THEY ASKED ME HAHA WHAT THE FUCK

Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories

Soldiers are Dreamers

Lauren - frustrating for an emison shipper but undeniably well written

Place Your Bet - tbh everything by this author, while a little slow, is incredible 

And The Sparks That We Had Can No Longer Light Up Our Debris - angsty and unsatisfying, but I’m a masochist so I love it

Like Real People Do

Right now it feels like we’re bleeding (so deep that we might not get back up) - I have reread this shit so many times, I love it to death

J'adore

she’s (not) too good for you - I reread this on the regular

25 Occasions People Have Celebrated in the Liarverse - seriously so good, I cried several times

Five Kisses Emily Fields Never Had (On Screen)

Half the Fun

A Break From Being Me - hasn’t been updated in 3000 years but sorta incredible tbh, read at your own risk!

Mulligan Madness

Ali’s Guide to the Art of Love - one of those fics that seems dumb but is actually really gripping and well written and it’s just that the summary’s misleading?

i’ve been afraid of changing (cause i built my life around you)

silver stepping stones - sorta like ‘Right now it feels like we’re bleeding…’ but told from Alison’s perspective and if Alison had gone with Emily. It’s not perfect but it’s a cute one shot and really in character

Ali’s Nightmare Before Christmas and it’s sequel Breathe Again - I actually haven’t reread these I just remember these being really really good

Art of Attraction - I actually know the author and she’s super nice and she writes a bunch of other great stuff

Charlissa

All the Things That Used to Matter

Vandermarin

every thought a thought of you

Love is the New Denim or Black

Sparia

Act Like Everything is Normal

wide open road (of my future)

Spanna

Take Me to Your River (I Wanna Go)

Other:

Chalk Paths

Tell me you Won’t Leave me - really angsty, I felt like it really made an impact on me ya know?

Thirteen Things - this is actually a series but every fic is completed and utter gold

All the Way Home I’ll Be Warm - okay this is a lil hetero but it has emison so

Big Little Liars

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Depravity

Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Times, They Are A’Changing - sorta every gay couple imaginable, I haven’t read it in awhile but I remember it being really good, there’s a companion peice: Baby, You’re the Best I’ve Ever Met that’s about Mona and Melissa

Pitch Perfect

Bechloe

Perfect Timing and a Perky Red Head

Moirai

Girl Meets World

Rilaya

The Circle

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou, she never says and the unfinished sequel which will continue to kill us “we’ll be fine,” he swore  (even if you aint in the fandom read this, some of the best work I’ve ever seen)

Growing Pains Taste Like Five Hour Energy And Her Lips

Darling so it Goes - hasn’t been updated in awhile so read at your own risk

your hand in mine (heartbeats in sync)

we howl to the moon

do you fall in love too easily?

Passage - I reread this to make sure it was still good as I remembered, crying now- read at your own risk

As Observed by the Sky

pretty sleeper and it’s companion pretty weeper - why is the rilaya fandom so angsty? IT’S NOT NECESSARY

crawl home to her - vampire au, not normally something I’m into but the pickings are sparce and this is damn good

Revelations

Ten First Meetings

The Universe Wants Maya Dead - fucking angsty man, seriously

Day in the Super Life

with joyful ring - a cute Christmas one shot

a love that’s homeless - another cute fantasy one shot

ramble in the roots

Supergirl

Supercorp

Something to Write About

The War of Roses

Is this who we are now? - I wish this was more than a oneshot, I would’ve liked to see the ending play out but a fantastic concept- really

90408

Of Soul-Mate’s and Heart-ache

The Fifth Wall -  I’ve loved the slow buildup but haven’t had a chance to finish it so no one talk to me about it ever

Secretaries Know Best - Jess is a queen and I love her

One Lena Comment Too Far - the greatest piece of literature to ever grace the internet

Did You Absolutely Have To - I’m dying and I love it

Your Name

Supergirl’s latest date - I remember this being pretty funny but I was too lazy to reread

Sunlit Honey and Lavender Sunsets and apparently the author has an unfinished sequel? Gold-Crested Ravens and Cornflower Blue Mornings

The 100

Clexa

Lightening Only Strikes Once - READ READ READ PLEAASE

Six

Down Came the Rain

The Blind Side of Love

Pie in the Sky - so so so so good! Like actually amazing

they take their shots but we’re bulletproof

you’re magic & you’re real

All That You Got (Skin To Skin Oh My God)

Copper Down - so I went on a clexa spree and so there’s gonna be a shit ton of those on here

More Than You Think You Are - a little ooc at times but pretty gosh darn amazing oh my god

masquerade dreams 

blood rush in the hazy glow - this killed me, I wish the author would give us an epilogue, maybe Clarke and Lexa buying the bar together and watching some lost college kids come in making it a circle or something, but really really really amazing Jesus

I’ll travel through time to save you

In Another Life - a little Lexark for ya, it’s a short, fun, satisfying read you can knock out in thirty minutes

Origamis - to prepare ya’ll for the single mom au I’m dropping probably never but have planned out in my head to a tee

The Wife Project: By Professor Alexandria Woods - Autistic!lexa is honestly one of my favorite head canons that I believe is 100% true, and this fic writes it effortlessly

Almost Three - angsty but interesting concept- definitely enjoyable and I’ve reread it multiple times

Some Angels Fall

Commander in Chief - the best part about this is that in this universe trump is in jail

i’ll give you the moon - some christmas fluff

she gave me a good character (but said I could not swim) - angsty and unfullfilling so you know I love it

The White Queen Running - I loved every moment of this fic and it’s (unfinished) sequal - The Red King Awake, while admittedly hard to follow at times it’s still incredibly sweet while also being angsty and intriguing. 10/10 would read again. Also there’s so much fanart for it? Like really really good fanart? I’ve actually saved some of the better pieces to give me inspiration when I write tbh…

An Unfinished Fight - wonderful concept but would’ve loved to see the ending scene played out more, still an overall amazing fic and honestly so satisfying

Love Letters and Coffee Grounds - a warm christmas fluff for ya that’s ridiculously long but still great. 

It’s in My Roots, in My Veins, in My Blood (and I Stain Every Heart That I Use to Heal the Pain - a little bit of plot exhaustion by the end, you can probably just stop reading after the second denny’s scene and then skip to the epilouge but still so fantastic. I stayed up till 2am reading this and have no regrets

This Isn’t Our Fate (But You’re Still My Destiny) - lexark and clexa in one amazing fic! Sign me the fuck up! Really fucking cute and fluffy and totally angsty headcannons for elyza I love.

An Adventure - I love the characterization for Aden and I love this so much in gerneral tbh

you’re magic & you’re real - I like exactly four headcanons about the 100 characters: autistic!lexa, dyslexic!clarke, nonbinary!octavia, and I can’t remember the other one. It doesn’t matter, all of the mentioned above are in this and it’s very gay and wonderful and I actually wish I could make a movie out of this because it’s so great

by her side - a warm fluffy christmas fic for yall

Let Your Hair Down - dunno, cute af I guess

The Days of our Lives - a series I didn’t have the patience to finish but I have adhd so… the first one was fantastic and I loved the second one, but it keeps going so the others are probably good too

Today at Dust - helpful if you want to cry

who told you that you were naked? - fantastic, like seriously one of the best things I’ve read. 

i can fly higher than an eagle (for you are the wind beneath my wings) - GREAT if you want to cry. Not clexa centered but at the end yeah… It’s about Anya and Lexa

I have lost my pain - creative and interesting, well written and well done. A very good fic in all manners of speaking

I Will Wait (You Forgave And I Won’t Forget) - just a cute oneshot that’s very well written and gripping

A Forest Fire - I’m a sucker for fix it fics 

Fallen - a series I didn’t have the paitence to finish but again, symptom of my adhd, the first book and second book’s first half was fantastic and cute. I just love the headcanon for Clarke

Fix You - angsty but also amazing?

Mystic Coffee - did this inspire fanart or was it inspired by the witch!clarke fanart?

the business of caring - I’m a huge fan of this author’s style of writing, it’s funny and straight to the point and very dry, I read this until 3:30am last night and I had to get up at 6 the next day

what the ground grows - written by the same author and you can see the similarities in voice. Seriously both are amazing but this one is considerably more angsty than the one above

I’m bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home (I’m meaner than my demons, I’m bigger than these bones) - so angsty but so wonderful, I actually cried so hats off to you author…

The Witch of Ceder Plains - a cute two shot

July 4th 2016 - not really a series like the description promises but a very good stand alone story that was well written

If Love Were Enough and the heartbreaking prequal What I Lost In You - both oneshots, both genius

Bury it and Rise Above - mideval oneshot that I love

Ramen, Redbull, and Spite - I need a comic book based off this, it’s genius

find your way to me - fuck this fic, no really, I stayed up till 4am reading it when I had to get up at 8 the next day. Fuck this fucking shit. Mainly fluff until everything falls apart

Sacred Spaces - wasn’t gonna cause it’s just a oneshot and the description is so bad but shit the imagery in here is to die for and I feel like I’m reading a van gogh painting seriously

maybe they will sing for us tomorrow: the only thing I’ve ever printed a hard copy of its my all time favourite probably (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores) 

Everything by this author is so good in the clexa section I would reccomend all of it seriously oh my god

move on me: reincarnation fic that’s really beautiful (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores​)

Against the multiverse: a really fun clever one shot  (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores​)

ultraviolet lights - a lexark one shot that headcannons Elyza in a way I haven’t seen her before (a soft gay extra mess)

Hope is the Thing with Feathers (That Perches in the Soul) - I really love the daemon universe even though I’ve seen very little of it. This was very vivid though and had great imagery...

You’re Love Is a Waiting Game - I don’t think the author knew how to end this which is why the ending wasn’t perfect, but it’s overall so amazing I love it and it’s def worth the read

a year of sundays - a bit of a slow read at times and a bit mind boggling at times that they don’t figure it out sooner but very fluffy and amazing and very in character

your hand in mine and it’s sequal your hand in mine (pt. ii) - at the time of my writing this I have not yet finished part two but the first one was mastered so well I can only imagine its counterpart will be of a similar nature. Also there’s smut in this

Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks - a series about clexa in the middle of a turfwar, it’s just three well written one shots that are gripping and have a lot of imagery and realism. 

Something Suspicously Close to Hope - read if you like crying and Stranger Things, it’s a series of one shots about Eleven being adopted by Clexa and I love them

beat the devil’s tattoo - I haven’t read the one for anya but I imagine, if it’s anything like this- it’s pretty darn good

And I am driftwood, found. - really emotional, I read the first part but never finished it but this forced me to go back and reread it. Definitely worth it.

Feels Like Home - a short but satisfying read with very good characterization

a hand to hold on to series - definitely prioritizes family over romance but the kids were very realistic and I liked what they did when they placed Lexa in such a new situation so fast. I feel like people characterize her as bad with kids a lot but I don’t think she was...

or what you will - realiztic and heartfelt, I liked the poetry it was additive and insightful

enchanted. - are there ever enough harry potter AUs? Could’ve done with some more angst but this was acceptable.

She (thefooliam): a classical emotional roommates fic that just nails all the feels (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

This is heaven in hiding: lawyer multi chapter that’s really good and pretty smutty though! (​)

Markenland Series - there’s just two right now but I think they plan on writing a third. Anyway, very cute, I loved the characterization and the slowburn but not kill me this is taking too long slowburn

More Women than Warriors - I can’t begin to describe how much I love this, one of my favorite things I’ve read of all time. Please read this.

Empath - gay

Love Is Blindness (I Don’t Want to See) - my dad sat next to the daughter of a notorius kingpin when he was in highschool, once she asked to borrow a pencil and never gave it back and he watched her use it for like three months and said nothing. 

Habromaniac: cute one shot ( description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender, and once was violent) - surprisingly little angst after the beginning but in still a very realistic way. very fast paced in terms of action, I certainly was never bored...

Suffrage - there will never be a time when I am not interested in twentieth century, cross dressing, feminist clexa fighting for the rights of women

No Church In The Wild: one of the best heartbreaking canon one shots ever (description and recomendation by @lexascandlestores) 

Kiss Me, Kill Me; It’s Just The Same Isn’t It? - lexark, a little bit of poetic fluff thrown in there but it hit just that perfect mix of clexa and lexark, very good

the earth, that is sufficent - written for clexa week I loved every chapter of it. Each peice was a standalone but also worked cohesively with the others. Flawless, seriously.

Into the Wild Blue - I just love southern clexa okay? Leave me alone

it’s called contraband for a reason - written by one of the best clexa authors of all time it’s hilarious, sweet, in character, poignant and well done. At times the format takes away more than it adds but it allows the reader to compare and contrast the beginning and the end and see the character’s develop more clearly.

there is no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin) - this author may or may not be a genius Imma go binge all of their works and let you know. This was vv good at least. One shot

we’re only young & naive still (the bittersweet between my teeth) - part of that gaf au (you can find here) that I love so much... just a one shot but the different perspectives are done really well which is a hard thing to do well

Before Words, Beyond Silence, and it’s unfinished sequal, In the Screaming Silence - it has that satisfying instant clexa connection while not sacrificing plot or angst, no trust me, it didn’t sacrifice angst. I think the ice queen plot was a little rushed but it’s still fantastic and I’m excited to see where the sequal goes!

Skylark -  A superhero fic that’s pretty damn cool. Clarke and the gang had illegal experiments done to them by Mount Weather and it gave them superpowers. They fight crime while trying to remain anonymous as well. This story is so clever and incorporates the City of Light/chips/ flame so cool, and Clexa are badasses, and just…read it, trust me. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

You See The Smile That’s On My Mouth (it’s hiding the words that don’t come out) -  A childhood modern au where Clarke and Lexa are fuckin soulmates and best friends and it takes them a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

The World Had Less Color Without You - it’s a college au where Clexa become friends after being paired together for a project, and fall in love even though they’re both terrified of it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Love on the Ground - This!! fic!!! is fucking fantastic. Canon-verse, angsty, so, so good. Just read it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Mysteries of Love - There’s another apocalypse, but Clexa are soulmates, and there’s a happy ending. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Essays in Existentialism: FtWD - a writer on tumblr publishes a lot of fics, either multi or oneshots under the ‘essays in exstentialism’ I haven’t read any beyond this lexark multi but this lexark multi was pretty fricken amazing ngl. Unfortunately hasn’t been updated in more than a year so it’s a pretty big risk

You Ask My Name (and All I do is Listen) - I had every sort of feeling about this, it’s super in character and incredibly well done

The Library - a bar au with a perfect mix of instant connection and angst, really well done

possibility days - a celeb au that’s well written and annoyingly filled with useless lesbian themes for both our idiots

Hooked on a feeling - an HP au I waited a million years to be updated and then finally was and what I’m trying to tell you is it’s amazing and worth it and wonderful and fluffy and I’ll love it forever

gera’s step-sister au - a lot of porn, Idk why but I tried to read this a billion years ago but I reread it recently and loved it. But yeah - definition of porn with feelings

Come Morning Light - this author writes a lot of kid fics but this is one of my favorites. In character and well written with a heartbreakingly poetic style. I love it.

most ardently - like some of these authors fics are amazing (like this one) and some are dumb as shit and like? Are there co authors? Are you like multiple people? I don’t know but this was amazing, historical clexa is historical clexa. Has some themes of the suffragette au from my first rec list but carves out a nice space for itself.

Punchline - a oneshot where Clarke wanders around the world and runs into Lexa a lot except it’s angsty and beautiful and there’s a lot of imagery

clexa eternal au - painful heartbreaking well written fantastic. I love most of the stuff by this author too so like you can’t really go wrong

pump mud through my veins - I wasn’t sure about the structure at first but they did something really cool with it and honestly well done

out at sea - okay I saw the tumblr post for this but I gotta say they did something interesting and fun with it and I don’t mind. Well writtten and vv cute

we will meet again - put off reading this because I was prepared for endless heartbreaks. Did happen but totally worth it. Don’t worry there’s a happy ending

Zoo Parks and Restoration - I got annoyed with plot exhaustion but the amount of well done clexa in this made it perfect. I never really like modern aus that much but I love this

The Whore’s Queen - took a little bit to get going but once it did... damn...

We Looked Like Giants - for some reason I put this off but there was no reason to? It’s so good? And very in character?

when my heart is at war - I can’t wait for the sequals, the first one is incredible!

Fall Away - a lot deeper and angstier than the thing got me ready for, really amazing and really well done. Love them lesbians

we could be immortals - put this off for some reason I don’t know why. Very in character, very true to high school I think, and funny and sarcastic and well written. it’s a highschool au but it’s more in character than that, and there’s plenty that links it to canon. I prefer canon tbh, but this was a nice fluff break

The Taste of War and Heartache - angsty and unfinished this is another incredible work by thefooliam. I would ten/ten reccomend because where it leaves off is pretty okay. It’s a canon au but it has some modern elements for those who prefer that. Really a great fic.

Bellamy x Murphy

if you only knew (my heart is breaking) - murphy is immortal and it’s angsty, this actually introduced me to this ship and I don’t normally like mlm but I kinda love this?

cynophilia - geez I don’t know why I love this ship all of a sudden wow

(you owe me twenty) - this actually ends with Murphy and Emori but it’s still super well written and well done

The Good Place

Tahani x Eleanor

True Love Is What Janet and Jianyu Have - this author is actually getting a lot of the second season right tbh

Riverdale/Archie Comics

Beronica

Can I Kiss You?

maybe being in a closet isnt so bad

Real Bisexual Kissing

Thaw - a real fluffy piece that won’t leave you angry and sad at all :)))))))))

Friends Don’t Let Friends Suffer Alone

The list as of 10/1/18

That’s it for now, I’ll probably reblog it with a continued list or post another list later as I go through more fics and more are reccomended and updated and finished. I just thought I’d post it now for obvious reasons...