#the last time i posted one of these was for g's birthday whoops

[dumbasssportsboys]

nhl and reductress headlines [21?/???] i think i have 2 number 18s oops

[hitchell-mope]

ABC headcanons part 1. Ben LeRoi

WARNING!!!! THIS POST CONTAINS NSFT MATERIAL

His relationship with Mal will be included with this seeing as it makes no sense to me to not include it if you know what I mean

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after the act). Ben is incredibly attentive afterwards. He cleans Mal up. Changes the sheets. Get her drinks and snacks. Basically doesn’t take her of himself until he’s sure she’s comfortable

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s). On him. He admits it’s a little vain. But he loves the enhanced musculature he got from gaining magic. And the ahem Enhanced Equipment down south isn’t too shabby either. On Mal. Ben loves everything to do with her otherworldliness. Her horns. Her wings. Her scales. Her tail. Etc etc

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically). Ben doesn’t have very strong feelings on it really. Doesn’t hate it. Doesn’t love it. But Mal likes it so he ahem dispenses it wherever she wants it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs). It’s more of an open secret but Ben is quite honestly obsessed with dragons. He and Mal first did it after the first time she turned into a dragon during the cotillion confrontation. It ah really got him going

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?). By part three he’s very experienced. And he definitely knows what he’s doing. He knew what to do before his first time. He had his own private library after all. And he had surprisingly little supervision after his fifteenth birthday. So it was easy to read up on the subject

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying). Ben’s loves being face to face as it happens. Makes it seem even more intimate. He’ll gladly do it in what way they can. But he prefers face to face

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc). He’s a little goofy. Out of nervousness the first time. But after that he picked up on Mal’s slightly obscene sense of humour and joined in on the dirty jokes. So they’re both a bit goofy while still retaining the romantic aspect

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.). He used to keep himself well groomed down there. Not so much after he gained magic though. And yes. It all matches. Ever since the “being turned into a beast” incident accelerated the process every single hair on his head is a dark but somehow still vibrant shade of purple from his head to his toe knuckles.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…). He’s very romantic in the heat of the moment. Providing they have time for it however. But still. He always tries to make it as special as he possibly can.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon). He’s not a fan. Until he was seventeen and Mal told him not all myths are true he still thought you’d go blind if you did it to yourself. And while he’s still not big on it he will do it if there’s no other option available other then his own suffering.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks). Dragons. Magic. And this is a fairly recent one. But after he got the facial hair Mal accidentally let slip a certain parental honorific. Which he fully loves and more than fully endorses

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do). Anywhere basically. Special mention goes to the abandoned dragon cave he and Mal visited on spring break. And miles above the clouds that same day. Oh. And the royal jet.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going). Mal in his clothes. Showering together. The aforementioned honorific. Any display of Mal’s dragon form. Basically any anything Mal says or does gets him in the mood. He’s eighteen. What do you expect?

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs). He would never hurt Mal unless she asked. It’s sort of impossible for him to hurt her since they’ve got magic and all but that’s still a line he won’t cross unless she specifically asked him to do it. And the very moment Mal doesn’t look like she’s enjoying herself, he stops and goes to to en suite to take care of himself after he’s made sure Mal’s ok.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc). Ben is nothing if not a giver. And he’s insanely good at it. Gold standard skill. As for receiving. Mal’s very good at it as well magic helps clear away any obstacles they might encounter.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc). He prefers to go a little bit slow. It makes it last longer and it’s more intimate. At Mal’s urging he can so fast he’s practically invisible.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc). He prefers longer sessions but if they absolutely have to he’ll go for a quick one. Such as when they had to turn invisible and duck behind a topiary bush at his eighteenth birthday party.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc). He’s not adverse to experimenting. They’re both thinking of inviting either Jane or prince Tyrone to join them for a night. And he has definitely taken risks. Such as the time Mal paid him a visit under his desk during work hours as Doug rattled off fiduciary reports.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…). His personal best was on their honeymoon. A solid 24 hours. And one round every hour on the hour. Besides that they try to squeeze in two of three rounds throughout the day if they can manage it. And they are always successful. It helps that they can freeze time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?). A few. Let’s just say that he doesn’t mind being restrained. Or in the receiving end of Mal asks. And they’ve definitely used their sceptre on each other. Mal’s personal favourite was The Night Of Three Ben’s.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease). If he’s feeling sneaky he will definitely tease. Such as the time after the desk visit where he returned the favour and paid a visit to Mal while she was having lunch with her Arendelle family.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make). Ever since their first time he’s let out a lot of beastly growls and elated whooping. Mal for her part matches him in loudness. And they both curse in french. A lot

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice). He’s taken to surprising Mal by greeting her in half beast mode since she didn’t get to see him like that when they were trying to stop Chad’s coup. In turn Mal’s taken turning into a humanoid version of her dragon form to surprise him. And it’s always effective.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words). Let’s put it this way. He was already “king sized” before he gained magic. And it’s only become even more impressive after he gained magic. And Mal is definitely impressed

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?). Pretty high. He’s eighteen. In love. And has a very powerful brand of magic. So he’s always willing and able.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards). He doesn’t sleep until he’s sure Mal is asleep. Unless of course they’ve managed to fit in another round. Then they both fall asleep almost as soon as they’re finished. They make sure to clean up though.

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 47

TFW you have to go back in your own Tumblr feed to figure out what day it is. Forty-seven days, yeesh. That is so many days. 

I hope I don't read back on this in some future time and laugh at how little I knew back then. Irony is a dangerous thing. 

Anyway, it was in fact Monday today, the last Monday of an April that has lasted approximately one (1) glacial age. The first half of the month went fast, then there was my birthday, and after that there was nothing in particular to look forward to. Then I got the kittens and stopped sleeping, which makes every day considerably longer. I've mentioned before how time is no longer real, but at this point it has basically stopped even being a thing. The only time is "time to feed the kittens" and I keep track of that with an elaborate set of phone alarms. They are down to a mere nine feeds per day now! I had to set an appointment today for next week and for a minute it was like "..._next_ Monday? We're going to do this _again?"_  So yeah, this Friday will be May and we will all post our Justin Timberlake memes and somebody will probably post the dancing skeleton that says it is June just to be contrary, and Tumblr will lurch through another, weirder year than ever before. 

Kittens had their first non-emergency vet appointment today, the first one with a real vet. The rescue has an actual vet coming in now once a week to do exams, very snazzy! I have not met her before because she started while I was studying for the bar exam and after Mork and Mindy graduated to Big Kitten Foster. I like her, she seems nice and did not say that dehydrated kittens should not have Pedialyte, which is insane. I got new syringes for the Pen G, which will go for five days now, and detailed instructions on exactly what sorts of poop to look for. I was kind of hoping the vet would give them ponazuril just as a safety measure, but she's going to do the test for coccidia and giardia first. I guess it makes sense, since ponazuril can upset the kitten system a little, but it does mean I need to bring them back down to the shelter if they've got gut parasites. Still better than at my last rescue, where I had to deal with six kittens with coccidia and we were still using fucking Albon. It was a very, very poopy month, but they did all survive. So we're still using the Pen G, terremycin, Forti-Flora, and then sub-q fluids as needed and B12 shots every three days, plus mixing Pedialyte into the formula. Kittens are big confusing, y'all. And that's even before the revelation that Jake is actually Jackie and sexing kittens is hard. Whoops. 

The kiddo has been stretching his creative muscles this week, he started a fanfic about Bendy and the Ink Machine that is much more atmospheric than plot based at this point. I am deeply proud of him for writing, and annoyed at myself for the deeply ingrained perfectionism that wants to rewrite it like an adult would write it, spelling and grammar and punctuation. There is some line, somewhere, between helping him proofread his stuff in such a way that it becomes easier to understand and micromanaging his writing until it is not fun anymore, and I do not at all trust myself to find that line. I am a born pedant, and it is one of the most useful and most annoying things about me. Plus you'd think that for somebody who claims to be so concerned about grammar, I'd use fewer poorly constructed run-on sentences. But he is writing stories and thinking about stories and actively engaging with the media he consumes, and that makes me happy. He's also drawing pictures of the Bendy characters and showing definite improvement over his early attempts. Nice job, kiddo! 

Today he also wanted to stretch his creative muscles in the kitchen, using recipes he and my husband found in the New York Times app. I didn't have any cocoa powder, so he had to make a box cake, but I did have all the ingredients for whipped coffee. I've been making it a lot, in fact, always decaf because I am trying not to explode my heart before the cholesterol has a chance to finish me off. I showed him how to measure out all the ingredients and work the stand mixer, then to scrape the creamy coffee foam onto the cup of cold milk. Even though he knew exactly what was in the coffee foam, he could not resist tasting something that looks a lot like chocolate whipped cream. I told him that he could if he wanted to, but he would not like it. The faces and noises he made upon trying it were v. hilarious, and the coffee was good! 

The only other big thing today was grocery shopping. My plan was to make the pickup eleven days ago last for an entire month, and it really could, especially since I acquired a gallon of milk the other day at Walgreens. But now states are starting to open up again, and cases of Covid-19 are still increasing, and I think we are not nearly done collapsing yet. This is not a time to be eating through one's stockpile, this is a time to be increasing it. And even if that weren't the case, hurricane season will be here before we know it! So I took some of the stimulus money I'd set aside for later and put it towards another large grocery order, this one mostly freezer foods and non-perishables. I very much hope that someday I read this entry in the future and laugh at all the normal, unexciting, largely uncontaminated months ahead in which we slowly ate through all the canned goods and frozen turkey I acquired in a moment of anxiety. Fingers crossed, yeah? 

[jennycalendar]

2019 fic roundup

december was INSANE and i spent most of january dealing with the aftermath of Terrible Parents, but i am finally doing this! in nearly-february! good grief!

tagged by @catty-words​! always a delight, cori <3

Total 2019 Word Count: 541,906 Total 2019 Hits: 29,555 Other 2019 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 3,184; Comment threads: 787; Bookmarks: 509; Subscriptions: 223.

Total 2018 Word Count: 338,835 Total 2018 Hits: 22,374 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 2,192; Comment threads: 453; Bookmarks: 280; Subscriptions: 69.

links and titles to 2019 works (buckle up, folks.)

[btvs] imperfections (148,374 words) y’all know about the braveryverse already but i’ll bring up some good points: jenny and giles accidentally adopt the entire scooby gang. also faith gets some actual support and is actually eventually stable enough to date buffy. good times.

[btvs] deliberate obstruction (5,492 words) the one where jenny is petty as fuck and attempts to sabotage every single one of giles’s dates after their breakup. not her best look, but it was really fun to write jenny being Not Great. she deserves to have that option.

[btvs] arch-nemeses (2,171 words) who doesn’t love some of that good old-fashioned ripper au nonsense? particularly when it’s spike and ripper being confusing nemeses who sometimes drunkenly make out (jenny thinks this is very funny).

[btvs] sick day (3,097 words) written because someone should take care of giles, damnit! probably not jenny, tho. she’s not the best at it. lucky for her giles loves her so much.

[btvs] simpatico (10,096 words) sister fic to the grieving process! set circa btvs season six! jenny is connor’s awkward aunt! giles is a repressed disaster who’s still pining but refuses to admit it! 

[btvs] honesty’s the best policy (3,830 words) that one where giles and buffy are hit with a Truth Spell that means they say exactly what they’re thinking. is that all that bad for buffy? not too much. is it a little iffy when you’re a repressed watcher man who still haven’t told your girlfriend how much you love her? uh.

[btvs comics] i router, you giles (1,111 words) GOD this was written BEFORE i knew that giles and jenny were dating in the reboot comics and isn’t that a concept? a snarky-cute first meeting! ok not really that cute bc they just yell at each other a lot! but definitely snarky!

[btvs] transitional (3,152 words) good golly this is cute and i honestly forgot that i wrote it. which makes sense, bc there is a lot of stuff on this list. set in between season one and season two, in an attempt to bridge the giles/jenny gap between “awkwardly friendly coworkers” and “oh my god i think i like you”

[btvs] across the pond (5,323 words) FUN FACT this got nominated for a headline award and i’m SO PROUD OF THAT?! epistolary fic! giles leaves for england in s6 but without his wife! his wife is very mad and writes him VERY MANY LETTERS TO YELL AT HIM! perfect for those people who sometimes think “god, i wish jenny had been in s6 to yell at giles.” 

[btvs] very really married (66,987 words) giles and jenny got drunk-married in las vegas and are keeping the marriage going so they don’t look like terrible authority figures. giles does not want buffy to know about his fake wife. giles does not want his fake wife to know about his real slayer. giles has a lot of problems and it doesn’t help that he might be catching feelings. big mess.

[btvs] bad dreams (2,267 words) GILES/JENNY/ANYA IS BEST SHIP NEXT QUESTION

[btvs comics] an open mic enthusiast (2,250 words) yet another giles/jenny comic-reboot meet-cute written before i knew they were dating!!! this time: jenny gets to see giles playing guitar. repeatedly. because she keeps going back to watch him at the open mic.

[btvs comics] blindsided (2,024 words) my first (and definitely not last) giles/anya fic! a shorter version of a plot bunny i hope to chase down in 2020 (ahaha did i say that WHOOPS)

[btvs] uncharted (16,469 words) my jenny calendar day fic! also known as “jenny calendar has a guilt complex: a novella.” no prophecy dream outs jenny to the group -- but she tells them anyway. and blames herself. and breaks up with giles while she’s trying to Fix Things. absolute mess. (thank god there’s a happy ending, right?)

[btvs] on the mending of hearts (9,236 words) that giles/anya fic where giles shows up at anya’s failed wedding and sweeps her off her feet and they have sex in his hotel room! except uhhh there’s a lot more drama and crying and anya really just needs some cuddles, tbh.

[btvs] extracurricular activities (1,003 words) straight up this one BARELY counts as a 2019 fic. i wrote it back in 2016 and forgot about it and found it on my hard drive and wrote an ending to it. it’s tiny, but it’s cute! lots of early-relationship calendiles fluff, as is My Brand.

[btvs] cookie dough and boy talk (a remix) (3,976 words) dawn, but in the ripper au! she’s a precocious little bab and ripper babysits her and gets semi-adopted by joyce. it’s a thing.

[btvs] a history lesson (698 words) a brief ripper au interlude between jenny and dru. dru tries to point out that jenny and ripper are in love. jenny very unconvincingly denies it.

[btvs] faith, hope, and pancakes (3,236 words) ripper au, now with faith! and she gets to hang with college-age jenny! who is dating her idiot boyfriend ripper! the Most Fun of times.

[btvs] compromises (750 words) this....was supposed to be a three-sentence prompt but I Can’t Do That. giles and jenny discuss (read: jenny yells at giles about) giles attempting to attack angel on sight.

[btvs] valentine buzz (3,422 words) i wrote this in may lmao but i just REALLY WANTED to write fluffy braveryverse valentine’s day nonsense!!! lots of cuddles and kisses and softness abound in this fic.

[btvs] days in goodness spent (5,893 words) this fic's point was a little more abstract and a little less blunt than most of the rest of these, but i wanted to explore the concept of giles slowly going from idealizing jenny to genuinely loving her. i hope i did it justice.

[btvs] to have and to hold (7,861 words) giles and jenny get married in the braveryverse. that’s really all there is. also i posted this on my birthday (may 23rd) AND it is the 23rd fic on this list!!!! WILD!!!!!)

[btvs] saw her in the streetlight, making all the world bright (5,738 words) took me like a year and a half to write the first fic in the ripper au, lmao. in which jenny is a snarky eighteen-year-old, ripper is a snarky college dropout in a band, and neither of them are at ALL good at communicating. especially not ripper.

[btvs] perfect (1,465 words) ripper au: it’s revealed that jenny hasn’t had sex before. ripper handles this with his characteristic maturity and grace (just kidding lmao he FREAKS. but it’s bc he loves her.)

[btvs] respite (1,106 words) i wrote this after issue 5 of the reboot dropped bc i was very emotional about canon power couple giles and jenny. in retrospect, i gave giles’s emotional maturity WAY too much credit--esp. given what’s going on now--but it was still fun as heck to write.

[btvs] shouldn’t we be getting together (3,193 words) this fic’s existence is a combo of me reading a summer camp ya novel and liking the Aesthetic but not the Culture & me talking endlessly w/ @jackalopingintothevoid​ about ripper and jenny’s teenage dynamic. so many of these fics have her galaxy brain takes woven in and i KNOW she knows that. lov u, jack.

[btvs] fragmented (6,158 words) written because of that one time my brain was like “but what if jenny WAS haunting the school?” happy ending because it’s me and g/j deserve some kisses.

[btvs/hp crossover] buffy summers, muggle-born (22,070 words) i CAME BACK TO THIS in 2019 and wrote a few chapters and DROPPED IT LIKE A HOT POTATO. hopefully 2020 will bring me the courage to pick it up again!!!!!! who DOESN’T want a carelessly-mashed-together crossover where the scoobies and the golden trio are all going to hogwarts together for some reason????

[btvs] in bloom (8,452 words) this was SUPPOSED to be the end of the jenny-anya-tara trilogy. it was not. (more on that later.) this was also supposed to be a fic where giles and jenny get together. jenny and anya got together. writing things is wild sometimes.

[btvs] i still want to be your girl (35,165 words) straight up i am so proud of this fic! s7 au: jenny was chased out of town by angelus. giles does not know this. jenny has been working with angel in la, but left with faith to try and help defeat the first. giles is not the guy she remembers. (but jenny’s not exactly the lady giles remembers, either. so maybe things might work out.)

[btvs/leverage crossover] what’s in a name (4,421 words) sophie’s & jenny’s relationship to their names & identities always so totally fascinated me! this fic was my way of exploring that. (also i got to give giles and jenny a toddler. that was fun too.)

[btvs comics] live a little (6,700 words) i had so much fun coming up with a backstory for giles and jenny in the comics that i am kinda tempted to eventually try and do it again. this one was fun to write, tho.

[btvs] kind of like hydrogen peroxide (7,501 words) THIS was FUN. ripper au, but it explores both jenny’s longing for High School Normalcy AND ripper’s fucked-up relationship to magic. also senior prom is a thing.

[btvs] mending fences (6,093 words) sequel to the aforementioned epistolary fic! lots of first-person self-loathing from giles, but also a LOT of love for jenny and his kids. also the man really truly needs to stop repressing.

[btvs] her father’s daughter (1,982 words) 2020 will bring us another chapter of this fic i swear to GOD. literally there’s only one chapter up so i cannot even TALK about my plans for it but uhhh if you want giles and jenny and their three daughters pls feel free to go to that prologue and check it out.

[btvs] a thousand different ways we fell apart (4,888 words) the au fic to encompass all au fics! inspired by the comic reboot and me being like. christ. do they go through this ridiculous shit in EVERY universe? ....and then i wrote a fic where jenny was a space traveler looking through multiple universe to try and fix her marriage with giles. extra fun.

[btvs] no such roses (4,814 words) this one turned out a TINY bit rushed, but the concept of jenny bringing giles back from the dead is always something that i love exploring. i might come back and rewrite this, someday.

[btvs comics] no perfect choice (4,801 words) OOF. wrote this one after issue 8 dropped. a lot softer and more tender than what actually happened, tbh. maybe i will reread it again to make myself feel better about comic calendiles and their brutal split.

[btvs] family (3,545 words) wrote this one p early in the year and came up with an ending to it much later! ripper au: the story of how xander came to live with giles and leave his parents. angst-with-a-happy-ending abounds.

[btvs] a california january (2,206 words) jenny and giles attend a funeral together. that’s pretty much it. this is defs one of the best things i wrote this year, tho.

[btvs] how i survived my summer vacation (volume two) (25,027 words) swear to god this is gonna be the next thing i update. the braveryverse NEEDS to continue. it’s got married calendiles, for god’s sake.

[btvs] clear and impartial judgment (3,977 words) that fic i wrote when i got mad at a lack of resolution wrt helpless. like!!! giles drugged buffy!!! do we not get to talk about the psychological ramifications that would have on her???? (well. canon doesn’t. but i do.)

[btvs] sunshine ladies (10,188 words) THIS FIC WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN and i say that with incandescent love in my heart. i intended for the ‘verse to be giles/jenny, and then i intended it to be jenny/anya, and then i was like....jenny has two goddamn hands, and there’s foreshadowing here for endgame giles/jenny, and i wanna write some giles/anya. let’s fuckin go. (DEFINITELY writing another installment in 2020 about this iconic ot3 of mine.) 

[btvs] spirit-touched (4,769 words) the first smut i write and it’s calendiles ghost sex. i really think this is on brand for me, esp. considering that swath of asks in 2016ish where everyone wanted to know if ghosts could jack off. incredible.

[btvs] dear friend (28,865 words) this fic had such a rushed ending :( it’s a cute premise (you’ve got mail giles/jenny au!!!!!), but i lost interest halfway through, and as a writer i can rlly see that when i read it. another thing i might like to go back and rewrite at some point, tbh!

[btvs] familiar (2,034 words) AUGH i am SO proud of this fic. SO SO PROUD. it’s a concept i really can’t explain and the little twist at the end is something i really really like, so...just read it.

[miss fisher’s murder mysteries] unbearable (5,670 words) i need to write more mfmm in 2020 but the amount of good fic out there is deeply intimidating/delightful. this one was my little “what if it was phryne who thought jack was dead” and tbqh i had a lot of fun with it? bc pining phryne (who makes brief but extremely poignant appearances throughout the series) is an awkwardly, heart-meltingly sincere lady.

[ace attorney] man’s duty to society (544 words) wrote this as my first foray into aa fic while getting emo about miles edgeworth. would absolutely still die for that man.

[ace attorney] fancy running into you (5,887 words) lots of schmoopy narumitsu fluff! gregory edgeworth is alive! miles is trauma-free! phoenix is an artist! just!!! goodness!!!!!!!

[ace attorney] big sister (2,741 words) set in the same gregory-edgeworth-is-alive ‘verse: babey franziska comes to live with miles and his dad. she is a little impossible but miles kinda does love her.

[ace attorney] prince charming edgeworth and his incredible tux (8,042 words) this fic came from me being like “i want to write phoenix swooning over miles in a tuxedo and being like HE LOOKS LIKE A DISNEY PRINCE” and spiraled into something much longer!

[ace attorney] fate, choice, and everything in between (4,384 words) SOULMATE AU. nothing i love more than deconstructing soulmate aus. but like. in a romantic way. also phoenix and miles ARE soulmates and that is JUST facts.

Favorite Fic: I WROTE SO MUCH STUFF THO LIKE !?!??! how can one expect me to distill it to just one fic? i’ll make it my top threeL

a california january (I AM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC. it is soft and angsty and silly and devastating and tender. all the calendiles feels.)

i still want to be your girl (same mood!!! i’ve wanted to write this fic for literal years, and it’s one of those rare occasions where the picture in my head actually turned out BETTER when written out!)

sunshine ladies (this is like my giles/jenny/anya ship manifesto and it still makes me happy to think about them all co-running the magic box together and smooching a lot.)

Hardest Fic: OOF uh i went through a rocky period of writing when transitioning into college? no such roses and dear friend were hit the hardest by my insecurity & my desire to Finish Things rather than actually spend time on the craft. but i’m much more settled in now and my writing is DEFINITELY in an upward swing (as my newest fic -- as day follows night -- attests to quite nicely, imo)

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? always always yes! (i’m bad at following through with them, but am ALWAYS accepting them.)

What was the best thing about 2019? there were almost too many good things to COUNT, but i think all of them were made possible by me working extremely hard to get myself the FUCK out of my abusive parents’ house and into my first choice college!! i’m thriving, y’all.

What was the worst thing about 2019? realizing that both of my parents are fundamentally terrible people. that part kinda sucked.

Any last thoughts for 2019? i finally understand what it’s like to fall asleep feeling safe, and to notice the way the leaves change color, and to get excited about self-indulgent things like food and cuddly stuffed animals and my own fic and art. 2019 brought a lot of happiness into my life, and oh yeah also i’m in love! lots of cool stuff going on.

Goals for 2020

finish the latest braveryverse installment!

MORE ART JUST IN GENERAL. i love drawing, but there’s not a lot of free time for artsy celia when they prioritize writing so often!

write one of the many incredible longfic ideas that’s floating around in my head. it’s honestly probably only like two or three big ones, but at least DECIDE which one i’m gonna focus my energy on.

more giles/anya this year!

more giles/jenny/anya this year!

diversify! still gonna be writing about jenny forever, but like. it might be fun to write about a few new things here and there.

maybe some more ace attorney fic? maybe even some mfmm fic again? phryne and jack are never far from my heart.

not tagging anyone bc this is....january. but if you wanna do it, feel free!

[bangtantannie]

Alphabet Tag!

i was tagged by @tinyjhs and @taesangels thank you so much and I’m sorry I took so long 💕 💕 💕

Imma put a line break because it’s lengthy

a// age: 19

b// birthplace: States of United America

c// current time: 12:00pm

d// drink you last had: water (and children’s cold medicine)

e// easiest person to talk to: GOD so many,, I think you know who you are so I won’t drop names cause this post would only get longer

f// favorite songs: Rn? PROMISE BY BBY JIMIN GO STREAM IT’S A GOD SEND; Spring Day, Epilogue: Young Forever, Pied Piper, Waste It On Me, Trivia: Seesaw, Answer: Love Yourself,, You know what, just dm me if you want a full list this gonna take ages (did you see my spotify unwrapped,, pls ya gorl needs variety if she gon dedicate half her life to music)

g// grossest memory: Do y’all wanna know?? Uhhh damb... I shat myself when I was like 4? 5?

h// horror yes or horror no: no? Yes? It’s been a hot minute since I saw a horror

i// in love: Crushes? Sure,, But love, no, not since I was 10 [I can tell y’all if ur interested but long story short some of the things he’s told me really stuck and i liked him for 4 whole ass years down to the day we said our goodbyes forever :’) ]

j// jealous of people: I’m not proud of it, but yes, I do have my moments even if I hate it with a passion because ik they’re good people i wanna shower them in love

k// kids of your own someday: Ofc! But I also wouldn’t mind adopting :)

l// love at first sight or should i walk by again: walk by again because i gotta be sure it was love at first sight

m// middle name: Y’all don’t even know my last name :/

n// number of siblings: an older bro

o// one wish: Honestly,,, one birthday where I go to sleep thinking wow, today was a day with genuine happiness

p// person you last called: my mom because she lost her phone again

q// question you always get asked: “Can you help _?”

r// random fact about you: If something hits too close to home, I get real quiet (lol this took a depressing turn whoops)

s// song you sang last: JIMIN’S PROMISE GODLKSJKLD

t// time you woke up: 10:30am…. (i’M TRYNA GET AS MUCH SLEEP AS I CAN SO THIS COLD CAN GO TF AWAY)

u// underwear color: candy cane (I’m not gonna explain)

v// vacation destination: I want one massive trip of meeting all of my online friends

w// worst habit: taking on too many problems that aren’t mine irl

x// x-ray: have I had one?? Do ultrasounds count? (It wasn’t for a pregnancy bls)

y// your favorite food: Potatoes, Pasta, Noodles, Sushi, Rice

z// zodiac sign: Pisces!

Tagging: @namjoonieftw @officialjoon @yoonchangi @carrotgguk @rmonochild @joonsplaylist @sugadrop @goldenmahnae @ultmay @writersrealmbts @ve1vetyoongi @bang-tan-fan @bloomsuga @bfjooonie @knjclubie @crankybangtan @tatavangogh @namseoktual @adoreyoongi @mainaisikyunnhoon @hopeseason

[ninjagoforever]

The Alphabet Game

I got tagged by @the-cosmic-latte-demigod ages ago and finally found it while going through my likes (hehe whoops)

Rules : answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 people you would like to know better.

A - age: 20

B - birthplace: Idaho (USA)

C - current time: 4:21 PM

D - drink I last had: Chocolate Milk

E - easiest person to talk to: My family 

F - favorite song: ooof. At the moment it’s the entirety of Chess in Concert, anything by Two Steps From Hell, and Awaken from League of Legends

G - grossest memory: Probably the time I helped clean out my great-uncle’s house. He was a two-pack a day smoker and it was vile in there. You could practically taste the smell.

H - horror yes or no: No. No, no, no, no thank you, and no.  

I - in love?: Yes. With books.

J - jealous of people?: People who have their lives together, a little. 

L - love at first sight or should I walk by again?: The second one. 

M - middle name : Eleanor (after my great-grandma)

O - one wish: That all of my followers are having a good day!

P - person I called last: I don’t really call people. But the last person who called me was my dad. 

Q - questions you are always asked: “Is that with an ‘h’ at the end?” --everyone who hears my name for the first time

R - reasons to smile: Snow, hot chocolate, people who water my crops with their beautiful fics and fanart, cats, pizza, etc.

S - song I last sang: “Anthem” from Chess in Concert

T - time I woke up: 7 AM. Thanks, alarm clock.

U - underwear color: Idk, I don’t pay much attention to my underwear other than making sure it’s clean.

V - vacation destination: Moab, Utah. There’s a national park there with a bunch of arches and red rock formations and it’s beautiful. It’s a family tradition to visit it every year.

W - worst habit: Procrastination. Definitely.

X - x - rays: Once, when I was really young, for reasons I don’t remember (I think it was because I had pneumonia but not 100% sure about that) and also every two or three years at the dentist.

Y - your favorite food: Homemade apple pie! Warm, delicious and healthy. (Okay, not that healthy, but still. It’s full of fruit.)

Z - zodiac sign : Scorpio. My birthday’s October 26.

I tag: @lindsey-chr-not-found, @tinylightningchild, @noramutaofrost, @connorloveselectroswing, & @hyliansheik You don’t have to do it, but I think it would be cool to get to know you guys better. 

[theamazingspiderlingg]

I was tagged by my new friend @whypeterparker to do this challenge and I’ve never done one of them before so why not????

Nickname: Gilly, Gillybean, Gillyfish but most people usually stick with Gillian or Gilly

Star Sign: Taurus

Height: 5′ 7″

Time: 2:22 PM (I should go to bed whoops)

Birthday: May 18th, 1998

Favorite Bands: One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, PVRIS, Tonight Alive, The Offspring

Favorite Solo Artists: Solo 1D (too lazy to write all of their names), Dua Lipa, Halsey, Ariana Grande, Bruno Mars, Kehlani, Shawn Mendes

Song that’s stuck in your head: Winter by PVRIS

Last Movie: Shaun of the Dead

Last TV Show: Wedding Cake Championship

Why did you create this blog?: Infinity War happened. After watching THAT SCENE it started my slight obsession with Tom Holland. I was watching his movies, interviews, all of that fun stuff. Now, I want to write movies as a future job so naturally I’m always thinking of ideas of stories. I dabbled in writing back in 2013 (I cringe reading that story... no I will NEVER share it) and I loved doing it but high school, athletics, and college stopped me from continuing. My life went through a major change around the Infinity War release and because of that, 2 months ago I decided that I’m going to write again. And here we are :D

What do you post/reblog?: Mainly Tom Holland/Peter Parker since he is the reason why I made this blog but I do reblog other marvel stuff and other random things that I like.

other blogs: @thefishygilly is like my “main” blog but I’ve been spending more time on here lately. I mostly reblog 1D there just a heads up.

why the url?: because he’s the spiderling and I had to add another g because that username was taken

I follow: 86

Followers: 23 (Haven’t been around too long whoops)

Lucky Numbers: 18, 7, 72

Instruments: Ukulele is the only one I actually remember but I used to also know the piano and violin.

What are you wearing?: A yellow t-shirt and a pair of grey shorts that I sleep in

Dream Job: Screenwriter

Last book you read: Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps by Kelly Williams Brown. Listen, if you are a confused child trying to figure out what the hell you are doing, this is a pretty good book to start. 

Top 3 Universes: Marvel, Star Wars, The Walking Dead (I think all of those are universes?)

I guess it’s my turn to tag people so I’m going to tag people that seem nice/are nice/have been nice to me:

@hollandroos @cutiepie-holland @deadearbuds @webfluihd @tomhollanduniverse

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello lovely, I am incredibly bored as of late. And would greatly appreciate the best darn johnlock fan fics you have. Thank you

Hi Nonny!

Well, I’m currently working on a “Fave Fics of All Time” fic rec list (which may have to be broken up… there’s… A Lot™), but you know what I haven’t done in awhile? One of my “Last XX Bookmarked Fics” Lists! I think I’m due! 

Here are my last “Bookmarked” fic lists:

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

I-J’s Last 50 Bookmarked Fics (June 2017)

Last Bookmarked Fics July 2017 

Now, here’s all the newest stuff I’ve bookmarked in the last few months, in word count order, as always :)

I-J’s Last 30 Bookmarked Fics (November 2017)

Whispers in the Dark by coloured_ink (G, 833 w. || Bed Sharing, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety, Caring John, Spooning, Little Spoon Sherlock) – Sherlock has anxiety attacks. Good thing John always knows what to do.

Ex by Itsallfine (T, 1,248 w. || Love Confessions, Coming Out, Exes, First Kiss) – One night, in the midst of their post-case high and on the cusp of something more, John and Sherlock run into John’s ex. His ex-boyfriend.

The Cure for Snoring by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 1,278 w. || Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Fluff, Domestic, Platonic / Sleepy Cuddles) – Sherlock and John spend the night in Scotland after finishing a case. The sole Inn in town only has one room left…one bed. This would be fine - if not a bit awkward - if Sherlock hadn’t developed a habit of snoring loudly. John suffers through many hours of sleeplessness before he discovers that skin-to-skin contact stops the noise. Part 1 of Dreamscapes

Caught by Salambo06 (E, 1,859 w. || Frottage, First Time / Kiss, Bed Sharing, Wet Dreams, POV John, Masturbation) – A hotel room. They’re here for a case, hadn’t planned to spend the night and ended up sharing a room. No, sharing a bed. Suddenly John is very much aware of his own hand closed around his hard cock and the ragged breathing next to him. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, John dares to turn his head just enough to confirm what he already knows. Sherlock, on his side, watching him.

Your love it feels so good by Hotaru_Tomoe (E, 2,843 w. || Gay Club / Gay Bar, Lingerie, Stripping, Anal) – Sherlock is last at a quiz night and is forced by Anderson to perform in a gay stripclub. John must be with him, because he will have to record the performance. Sherlock takes the task very seriously. Part 20 of The English job

Stay by msdisdain (M, 3,561 w. || First Kiss / Time, Angst / H/C, Bed Sharing, Nightmares, Blow Jobs, Anal) – John’s nightmares are nothing new. Sherlock’s inability to ignore them, however, is.

Christmas at Holmes Cottage by johnlockedstarkid (G, 4,295 w. || Christmas, Fake Relationship, Love Confessions, Holmes Family, Pining, Kisses, Fluff, Allusions to Mystrade) – Sherlock doesn’t want to have to deal with his mother’s wishes for him to find a partner when he goes to visit them for Christmas, so asks John to pose as his boyfriend. Little does he know he’s not the only one who wishes that the relationship could be real.

Forty-four by jamlockk (E, 4,415 w. || John’s Birthday, Fluff, PWP) – John turns forty-four, gets some advice and the best birthday present he could’ve ever hoped for.

a violent flash of purple by hudders-and-hiddles (E, 4,749 w. || Sex Toys, Friends to Lovers, PWP, Love Confessions, Porn With Feelings) – When Sherlock accidentally drops his towel, he ends up revealing a whole lot more than he’d intended.

Every Little Thing by the_beekeeper_of_sussex (E, 5,066 w. || First Time / Kiss, Fluff, Frottage, Come as Lube, Embarassed Sherlock, Porn With Feelings) – When Sherlock walks in on John making tea wearing nothing but a tight pair of boxer-briefs things get a little heated…physically and emotionally. 

Adjacent by weeesi (E, 5,711 w. || Bed Sharing, Fluff and Smut, Pining Idiots, On a Trip, Frottage) – Sherlock and John spend the night at a hotel in adjoining rooms, and keep finding excuses to visit each other’s rooms, until WHOOPS they’re sharing a bed.

Just a Touch by MissDavis (E, 6,248 w. || Bed Sharing, Masturbation, First Time/Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sharing a Room) – John has trouble falling asleep these days. There’s one thing he can do that always seems to help, but he’s stuck in this hotel room with Sherlock and doesn’t think he’ll get the chance. How will he ever find relief and a good night’s sleep?

C. sapiens by patternofdefiance (E, 8,813 w. || Tentacles Porn, Magical Realism, Bottomlock, Anal / Tentacle Sex, Pheremones) – “A few weeks ago I would have thought you were impossible,” Sherlock begins, walking into the kitchen in his blue robe, and John – not quite catching on – wants to scoff and argue, No, actually, you are impossible, but then Sherlock continues: “But now I’d say you are improbable.” John thinks this might be flattering, if he could wrap his head around it, but he can’t – Sherlock is standing near, steaming his sun-baked-clean-sand smell, like the beach after rain, an alive smell, an other smell. It’s intoxicating, and John has been studiously avoiding it, but he can’t shift away now it’s so near. Now Sherlock’s so near. And then Sherlock ruins the probable-loveliness of his words and the definite-beauty of his presence by saying: “And by ‘improbable’ I mean ‘not yet scientifically acknowledged.’” Part 1 of Gifts from the Sea

Faerie-Touched by Blind_Author (T, 9,283 w. || Faerie AU || Fantasy, Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock) – In a world of sorcerers and magic, Sherlock is a Faerie-born and John, lacking any kind of magical talent, often seems a bit out of place. But he has a gift all his own…

Better Than One by Innerspace (E, 14,760 w. || Clones, Selfcest, Frottage, PWP, Threesomes, Clone Sex, Slight Dubcon, First Time) – Sherlock has created a clone; said clone is annoyed at Sherlock’s lack of progress with John and proceeds to rectify the situation. John is just going with it.

Everlasting by cypress_tree (M, 16,884 w. || Magical Realism, First Time, Immortality, Angst & Fluff) – Most lives end. A Tuck Everlasting fusion, in which the Holmes brothers have lived for a very, very long time.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – Written for this prompt on the kinkmeme: ‘John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.’

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock’s parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w. || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It’s a lot less cracky than you’re probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most.An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.(This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w. || Rich Sherlock AU, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Alternate First Meeting) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family’s private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it’s time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 (M, 53,464 w. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Alternate First Meeting, Falling in Love, Fluff and Angst, Hardcore Pining) – It’s the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (E, 54,437 w. || Post S3 || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse… Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 85,535 w. || Sentinel / Guides AU, Omegaverse, Aventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he’s kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

A Fold in the Universe by darkest_bird (E, 152,869 w. || Omegaverse / Prime Universe Crossover || OmegaJohn / AlphaSherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Angst, H/C, Dub Con, Humour) – Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w. || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

[mommydropthemic]

What does love look like: My Birth Story

Uncomfortable, scared pregnancy = Uncomfortable, scared birth.

 THE SHITTY PREAMBLE

I ate a “strata” at church made of cheese, hamburger, and breadcrumbs. This was the birthing cocktail I needed, apparently. I had a ton of loose stools, just like last time with the birth of my first child, around 12 pm when I returned home. Like last time I kept wondering: Is it early labor? Is it cheese? Is it both? I have a way, a knack, of alienating Western/ polite/civilized? people with my love/non-fear of discussing the body. Foreshadowing the momentous coming of our second child, reminded by our best man Jeff at the wedding, that I introduced this knack to my future husband the first night we met by showing him my foot corn. (According to Jeff who introduced us, Jasen’s response was of compassion). I’d not kept it 50% then in matters of body, and the thing about birth is, especially home birth, you have no choice but to keep it 100%-120%. So a big memory for this birth is shitting all over the place. On the couch, on the way to the bathroom, perhaps a little bit made it into the toilet?

 Everything’s a blur, but I do remember this birth being more painful than my first. Samuel has a bigger body than Ruby (though she had a larger head). I had also alienated my kind stay-at-home white-guy-writer-dad-neighbor Jeff, because the last month of pregnancy I was so damned hot and uncomfortable — the day Sam was born it was about 90 degrees (which is anathema to any typical Seattleite and I’ve been one since my birth in the mid-80’s)—I would lay in bed, pregnant as all hell, naked in our room which is adjacent to neighbor Jeff’s house separated only by a few feet, a chain link fence sparsely lined with trees. In my mind, he was an innocent white guy enjoying the side of his house, walking and whistling as he might, then the sight of my distended-bellied, uncomfortable naked body splayed out right next door made him uncomfortable. You might note that I didn’t exactly intentionally do this, but we are cash-poor and lazy with completely ineffectual heavy blinds that are perpetually hanging halfway open, the cord tangled on one side, the other cord half-cocked—it’s a damn mess.

Anyhow, I think we both noticed each other, him uncomfortable with my naked pregnant (Asian-- does that factor in?) female body; me uncomfortable with being caught naked by my neighbor or uncomfortable with his uncomfortableness.

All this is to say, WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?

My patient Jasen wiped my shit-pouring ass without hesitation. Be it the garbanzo beans I’d had just before I was sure it was labor-labor and not pre (that is “false”) labor, or leftover strata hanging out in my gut even after the 12 pm loose poops.

Love looks like...

Jasen wiping my bottom and throwing away the pee pee pad.

Wayne, Carol, Caryn, Cate, Ed, Mom, and Dad watching Ruby while Jasen rushed home to fill the tub.

Dana and Melissa telling me between my confused afternoon poops to call Midwife Jenn.

Midwife Jenn and her husband Don ditching their anniversary plans to see the Terra Cotta Warriors to go home and be on standby for labor. Of course it was their anniversary; last birth was my midwife’s son’s birthday, the only day she took off all year, and also Thanksgiving. I make auspicious children.

Jasen fighting me tooth and nail (“you’ll take control of house organization out of my cold, dead hands”) to work against my scattered frugal instinct to present the clean, organized house of my dreams. This is still a work in progress, naturally (it’s out of my cold, dead hands).

Brandi, supporting and videoing and being present for the birth.

Ben sacrificing his pay so we could have more.

Alice with her surreptitious gardening and then being able to watch Ruby; looking for castor oil in my disorganized ass house while I just laid my fat naked ass on the couch; purchasing a curtain rod to protect Ruby from her playful self; and a sustained hunt for apricot juice.

Nate being available to watch Ruby

Vicki bringing delicious food when I was starving.

Emily, Charles, and Michaela making pre-celebratory beer with me for Samuel’s arrival.

Jess, Porter, Harper, Etta, and Patrick watching Ruby during the birth and being willing to watch her overnight.

Alpha insurance broker from heaven!

In summary, an army of love for a successful birth.

And, Melissa. Dear Melissa. You set up the birthing tub with Jasen; gently chastised Jasen to go be with me when he was not; and carefully took down the tub—full of poo, blood, baby-birthing-juices, it was tinged red with floating debris, ah, the floating debris. By the final pushes I was definitely disturbed by said floaties in the tub. Based on Ruby’s birth, I thought there wouldn’t be shit, but following a pregnancy of weird shits, and a new baby with weird shits, it is not a surprise.

1) IMMANUEL CHURCH STRATA. Uncomfortable as fuck. Moving from pews to the back of the church with carpeted stairs. Pastor asked if baby dropped, she could tell the baby’s position had changed. Whoops, we couldn’t tell.

2) LOTS of uncertainty. For weeks, I’d been thinking, it’s gonna happen early, it’s gonna happen, I have uncomfortable contraction-like feelings, but they go nowhere. We wake up, no baby, womp womp. So what was to make this day any different?

    hottest day on record

    Jenn and Don’s anniversary

    friend Beth’s daughter Evie’s birthday

    two days before due date.  

 3) After much consternation looking for apricot juice (Alice tried PCC, nope), we had a lemon verbena, castor oil German-midwife-induction-cocktail ready to go and I was trying to decide what was a more auspicious day to coax my baby into existence—6/27 or 6/28, but we didn’t need it. Huzzah!

 4)  On the one hand, the birth was harder, scarier, uncomfy, I was more tired (from taking care of Ruby). On the other, we were MORE PREPARED THAN EVARR.

    A) Therapy

    B) Supplements-nutrition-visiting the doctor

    C) Acupuncture

    D) Birthing class, though we were snooty about it—I was sad for our culture begetting scared women afraid of their bodies, Jasen was snooty about our first birth.

    E) Talk to peers

    F) Talk to Ruby. A LOT. Every night.  

    G) Relationship class

    H) Total Pelvic Recall

    I) Massage. Vag therapy advice + massage

 Based on our most trying year and a half, mine personally and also as a couple with a postpartum mood explosion of some sort (a total-mama-meltdown) I needed to ensure this time around, that the insanity, and post-insanity HAZE of the first and second years of Child One’s life was not repeated or at least not as devastatingly so. So far, success.

 This time:

our finances are less stable

    we are delinquent on rent

    we were fighting about the tub. The $250 tub (my vag, not yours, homie).

    we almost lost our insurance.

    we almost had our water shut off.

an anonymous donor stepped in and helped-they covered the global midwifery fee, the tub, all of it. Ho-ly-shit.

I didn’t do my kegels as much--first, benign neglect, second, on purpose (on advice of my white Vag lady, i.e. vagina guru physical therapist).

my goal of Sammy not fucking up my periurethral area: MET!

birthtub: MET!

confronting J with my shit (though not in the tub): MET!

I am one lucky lady. And my children + hubby are lucky motherfuckers.

I was nervous that the coochie pads weren’t made—we had several, but not many—didn’t need ‘em!

We are at 6.4 weeks post-birth, and my vag + bod, other than being too hot and too stinky, are feeling on the up and up.

GOD BLESS IT. GOD BLESS ALL THE LOVES. IT WORKED OUT. Out of $? My mom shows up with $20. The credit card. (Countless) people feed us. People are patient. People understand.

*The End*

[leeknown]

30 Questions Tag

tagged by @straykidding @sp3arb @i-love-dark @channie

1. nickname: minnie // gm 

2. gender: female

3. star sign: sagittarius

4. height: 162cm

5. time: 14:28

6. birthday: november 27th 

7. favorite band(s): bts, stray kids, wanna one, monsta x, sf9, iKON, blackpink, sistar (whoops), kara :(, k.a.r.d, day6, nct, red velvet, dreamcatcher, EXID, wjsn, pristin

8. favorite solo artist: chungha, im junhyeok, jung sewoon, sunmi, henry, g-dragon, crush, zico 

9. song(s) stuck in my head: red velvet’s russian roulette lmao 

10. last movie watched: jumanji 

11. last show watched: radio romance if kdrama is counted 

12. when did i create my blog: 13 Nov 2017!! 

13. what do i post: gifs // clips and mostly reblogs lol  

14. last thing i googled: tumblr dimensions

15. do you have other blogs: @97-ed is my main, @ddaehwis is my dead w1 blog

16. do you get asks: not often :”) 

17. why did you choose your url: bc it reminded me of M&Ms!! those cute chcolate 

18. following: 1,176 whoops 

19. followers: 

20. favorite color(s): blck, white, red, grey

21. average hours of sleep: 7 hours

22. lucky number: 13 and 17 berra me too!!

23. instruments: I don’t play any.. 

24. what am i wearing: pjs

25. how many blankets i sleep with: one

26. dream job: accountant or banker! 

27. dream trip: idk.. i wanna see the seven wonders of the world 

28. favorite food: rice

29. nationality: singaporean

30. favorite song now: Im Junhyeok’s Stay 

[1000-directions]

30 questions

i got tagged FROM THE FUTURE by @dearmrsawyer did you know that it is already tomorrow there?? (spoiler alert)

(i think someone else tagged me for this pretty recently, but i can’t remember who, i’m sorry!!!!!!! sorry if i end up retagging you for this like an idiot 😩)

1. Nicknames? steph is really my only nickname 2. Gender? girl 3. Star Sign? aquarius 4. Height? 5'5 5. Time? 10:18pm 6. Birthday? january 22 YEAH ME AND FREDDIE TOMLINSON ARE BIRTHDAY NEIGHBORS 🤗🤗 7. Favorite bands? one direction, niall’s band, louis’ band, harry’s band. uh. i don’t listen to much else anymore. i was really, really into tegan and sara for very many years. 8. Favorite solo artists? louis tomlinson. niall horan. bebe rexha. ME. i love my own music, that’s why i wrote it, sorry not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 9. Song stuck in my head? miss you by louis is the only song i can remember for the foreseeable future <-- this is jamila’s answer and also my answer and also the only acceptable answer 10. Last movie you watched? i’ve been on a marvel kick the last few days. i liked spider-man: homecoming the most, but captain america: civil war is the one i watched most recently. 11. Last show you watched? um i’ve watched 47 episodes of “agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.” in six days, sooooo let’s hear it for unemployment tbh 12. When did you create your blog? my first post is dated november 26, 2016 WHOOPS MISSED MY ANNIVERSARY 13. What do I post? mostly one direction (mostly louis). fic recs, and sometimes even fic that i wrote. i like to reblog illustrations of positive animals giving encouragement. i like science stuff and underwater animals and sometimes but not always anatomy. crafts. pictures of things with bisexual colors. 14. Last thing I googled? "cranberry bog” bc i wanted to find a picture of them to show jamila, but they were all so awesome i couldn’t pick just one. HEY, if you don’t know how cranberries grow, do a google image search for cranberry bog, that shit is wild. 15. Do you have any other blogs? nope 16. Do you get asks? i do <3 i get prompts, which i always read and think about and save, and i’m gonna get around to all of them eventually, i hope!!!! i get some anons about elounor and lad and dad stuff. lately i have a generous anon who gives me presents <3 17. Why did you choose your url? i was 1000_[something elses] in a lot of different places, and when i made my ao3 account, i needed to choose a name i would remember but didn’t want it to be the same as my previous usernames, bc i do want my 1d life to be separate from my real life and also my other internet presences. and then i made this url to match that name, although i’m REAL MAD that tumblr forces me to have a hyphen instead of an underscore and THEN makes it so you can’t track tags that have hyphens?????? so dumb. 18. Following? 105 19. Followers? more than 105, less than 500 20. Favorite colors? green! G R E E N. i like grey and light purple, too. 21. Average hours of sleep? lately, too many. i was back to a pretty decent sleep schedule for like a week, but it’s been really, really bad since thanksgiving, especially the last few days.  22. Lucky number? 22, which is also the number of this question, wow 😱 23. Instruments? guitars and keyboards 24. What am I wearing? black yoga pants from target, which have basically become my uniform, and a grey tanktop 25. How many blankets do I sleep with? right now three bc i’m too cheap to turn my heat on and it’s fucking cold. normally, only like one thin blanket bc i am always hot and sweaty >:/ 26. Dream job? louis tomlinson’s pa so i could get him coffee every day and he’d be forced to tell me what he gets from starbucks 27. Dream vacation? i wanna go to australia so so so bad, and i have for years. i wanna go to kangaroo island and tasmania and sydney and melbourne and i wanna eat a pavlova and a passionfruit and i wanna hang out with jamila. i am also really excited about going to red rocks and meeting everyone, by which i mean i am terrified about it to the point that i start crying if i think about it too much bc i’m so worried no one will like me in person lolol mental health is awesome guys 28. Favorite food? pierogies, vegetarian matzo ball soup, thanksgiving leftovers all piled in the same bowl, chips and guac with frozen margaritas and a good friend to talk with 29. Nationality? american. i had a hungarian grandmother and a russian grandfather, and then i’m polish on the other side but they came to the US like many generations ago. 30. Favorite song right now? i love one (1) song

tagging: @sarcathlon @nocontrolforlouis @niallspringsteen @alligatornyc @nothanksweregood @oopsi1d-ditagain @flora-flauna

[thatgazebobullshit]

Another Tag Thingy

tagged by @reddieformeerkat (gracias amor) 

Rules: tag 20 people you wanna see do this too 

Nickname: Some of my reaaally close friends call me Pau and my family has a lot of nicknames for me but i hate all of them

Gender: Female

Star sign: Leo

Height: 5′3

Sexuality: Asexual

Time: 18:57

Birthday: 24th July

Favorite band: La Maravillosa Orquesta del Alcohol

Favorite solo artist: Lorde (melodrama was so good i died)

Song stuck in your head:  Come on Eileen

Last movie seen: Perks of Being a Wallflower

Movie I want to see: Justice League (tbh i just want to see Ezra Miller and Gal Gadot whoops)

Last TV show watched: Operación Triunfo (its a spanish singing competition)

Why did you create your blog: i was becoming too obsessed and i didnt want to fill my main blog with IT

What do you post/reblog: IT (mostly losers club/reddie/stozier)

Last thing you googled: i searched for pictures of chinchillas to show my mom

Other blogs: my main blog @enjolras-satellite

Why url: i wanted to honor one of the best scenes of the film

I follow: +400 blogs

Followers: 544 which is i n s a n e i love you all

Average hours of sleep: depends, between 5 and 12

Lucky number: i dont think i have one

Instrument: i play the flute, the ukulele and a bit of piano and guitar but what i really enjoy is singing

What are you wearing: jeans and a sweater

Dream job: Translator of films and tv

Dream trip: Prague

Favorite food: Fried aubergines with honey

Favorite song rn:  La belleza by Rozalen

Top three universes: Harry potter, Narnia and Percy Jackson

Last book i read: Six of crows

I tag: @rememberingtozier @kasprak @get-fcking-reddie @reddie-set-go @soft-trashmouth @its-reddie-bitch @dont-call-me-eds @eddies-fannypacks @rreddie @s-t-r-a-n-g-e-r-t-h-i-n-g-s @softpunkrichie @richietozeirs @gwendolyngonzalez @bevvie--marsh @wyattsnoodles @eddies-inhaler @gazebo-party @mikestanlon @stan-questionmark @queertrashmouth

[morningcallz]

Thank you @binsbestfriend for tagging me ♡ I’m tagging @fourseasonsofastro @smileyrocky @eunwooz (as always, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!)

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

A: age - 17 B: birthplace - Connecticut  C: current time - 6:18 pm D: drink you had last - pineapple/orange/banana smoothie (all I’ve had are smoothies lately because I’m obsessed with with my vitamix blender) E: easiest person to talk to - @callaico (when are you coming back to tumblr binch) F: favourite song -a cursed question,,I can never choose,,I guess I’ve been feeling Walkin’ in Time by The Boyz lately (please support their debut!!) G: grossest memory - probs seeings someone shove sticks up live scorpions (it was less about the scorpions and more about the vile action) H: hogwarts house - according to pottermore: hufflepuff usually, ravenclaw recently//according to my friends and I: slytherin  I: in love? - noope J: jealous of people? - all the time whoops  K: killed someone? - why would I admit it here 👀👀 (no) L: love at first sight or should I walk by again? - walk by again M: middle name - 善宜 (my chinese name) N: number of siblings - a little bro O: one wish - get into my dream uni!! (or pull my calculus grade up from a C+ 😩) P: person you called last - boston university because I turned in my application late...pray for me y’all Q: question you are always asked - “did you do the ___ homework?” (followed by “can I copy you?”) R: reason to smile - the fact that the earth is 4.5 billion years old and we exist at the same time as astro S: song you sang last - happy birthday lmao T: time you woke up - 8:30am (but then I went back to sleep a couple hours later and woke up at 1pm) U: underwear color - beige V: vacation destination -I want to visit Japan again so badly ahhh. A european roadtrip would be 12/10 too W: worst habit - procrastination hands down X: x-rays - my teeth Y: your favorite food - I’m always a slut for chobani greek yogurt (I’m on a mission to try every flavor) Z: zodiac sign - scorpio

[amazzjin]

Get to know me tag

I was tagged by the lovely @living-in-my-fantasies 💗💗

Rules : answer the questions and tag blogs you’d like to get to know better!

1. Nicknames : Mazz, Mazz the Spazz, Spazz, Spam idk there is a lot

2. Gender : Female

3. Star sign : Taurus

4. Height : I’m 155cm…

5. Time : 5:14pm

6. Birthday : April 27th

7. Favorite bands : BTS, Monsta x, Wanna one, GOT7, Bigbang, Kard, NCT, Red velvet, Blackpink, exo. The list goes on

8. Favorite solo artists : Ailee, Dean, offonoff, Hyuna, g-dragon

9. Song stuck in my head: Gashina by Sunmi the song that saved 2017

10. Last movie I watched: Star Wars The Last Jedi

11. Last show I watched : does wanna one zero base count

12. When did I create my blog: May 2016

13. What do I post: Kpop and my rambles

14. Last thing I googled: Wanna one Variety show list, I’m catching up on everything lmao

15. Do you have other blogs? : yesss! @pungtan @blushinwonho (im v inactive whoops)

16. Do you get asks?: Not often

17. Why did you choose your url?: my nickname is mazz and jin is my ult bias. Its the word amazing but with our names lmao


18. Favorite colors: blue

19. Average hours of sleep : hmmm, 8

20. Lucky number(s) : dont have one

21. Instruments : im not talented

22. What am I wearing : a shirt and some shorts

23. How many blankets I sleep with?: 1 because its too hot here in Aussie Land

24. Dream job: helping ppl in need

25. Dream trip: Ahhh Japan or Korea ik so original

26. Ethnicity: I’m Iraqi Australian

27. Favorite song right now: cigarette by offonoff

28. Put your music library on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up? :- Up ft. Mino by Bobby

- Pick me by Wanna one

- Red Flavour by Red Velvet

- How can someone be like this by Ailee (this is so good)

- Fool by Winner

- Home by Ailee

29. Grab a book nearest to you and turn to page 23. What is line 17?: tbh i dont want to get up and find a book

30. Who is your celebrity crush?: Wonho, jimin, jin, i can go on

31. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?: I’ve had my learners for ages but I haven’t driven :(

32. The last book you read: tracks by Robyn Davidson for school lmfao

33. Worst injury you’ve had: Ummm hitting my knee/elbow on stuff lmao I dont get injured as much although yesterday something got thrown at my elbow and its really hard to move that shit rn

34. Do you have any obsessions right now?: These pastries we get and cherries

35. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: nah I’m chill

I tag, @bijeonjiwoo @flxwercafe @suga-babiess and anyone else

[ddaengsgf]

tagged by @emmaoddle, i was having a pretty shitty night and you made it 10000000% better so thanks, g

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better!

1. nicknames: noodles (thanks to my sister)

2. gender: she/her pronouns please

3. star sign: Sagittarius

4. height: 5′2

5. time: 11:16 pm

6. birthday: December 10th

7. favorite band(s): PUP, the nbhd, and peach pit

8. favorite solo artists: atlas, tom rosenthal, and dodie

9. song stuck in my head: peach pit by peach pit has been stuck in my head for days send h elp

10. last movie i watched: moonrise kingdom

11. last show i watched: the good doctor

12. when did i create my blog: i wanna say it was around this time last year but i deleted that one (its a long story hmu if you’re actually interested) and made this one around march

13. what do i post: mainly memes, positivity, and shows+shit

14. last thing i googled: quizlet lol

15. do i have any other blogs: yup

16. do i get asks: during ask memes sometimes and from @dumb-kiddo

17. why I chose my url: its a play on my old vine account lol

18. following: 126

19. followers: about 100000 porn bots and 2 actual people

21. average hours of sleep: an average sleep schedule?? idk her

22. lucky number: 4

23: instruments: ukulele and i’m starting electric guitar soon yeet

24: what I’m wearing: a t shirt and v comfy shorts i got from mexico

26: dream job: sfx artist for movies n shit

27: dream trip: italy probably

28: favorite food: chili cheese dip or strawberries

29: nationality: half lebanese, half white

30: favorite season: probably fall

i don’t have 20 people whoops but imma tag @dumb-kiddo, @dandelittlelion, @roteli, @myhusbandmothman, @oikawa-toorude, and @todayatmidnight! also feel free to say i tagged you if you wanna do it!!

[tskkisaurus]

I was tagged by my lovely and hootiful Bokuto-senpai, aka @bokutos4hoots, to do this thingie, so you can get to know me better (even tho I’m literally the most boring person in known history). Thank you, Tess ♥♥♥

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

1• Nicknames: jirijiri or bia 2• Gender: female 3• Star sign: Sagittarius 4• Height: 5’4”/164cm (I’m basically a Hinata born on almost the same day as Kags haha) 5• Time: 01:02am 6• Birthday: Dec 21st 7• Favourite Bands: Male J-Idols in general 8• Favourite solo artists: hmmmm I don’t really listen to solo artists? ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ 9• Song stuck in my head: This amazing mashup of G Senjou no Cinderella and Fuyu ga Kureta Yokan 10• Last movie I watched: That was so long ago, I don’t even remember, whoops 11• Last show I watched: Samurai Warrior? I think that’s the title? 12• When did I create my blog: September 3rd, 2017 ʕ ˵• ᴥ•˵ ʔ 13• What do I post: Haikyuu and memes... Haikyuu memes lol and my graphics mostly 14• Last thing I googled: bear kaomojis 15• Do I have any other blogs: Nuh, only this imeanidobutnahidontusethemanymore 16• Do I get asks: No, but I tend to send some here and there i’d love to get some though, i love talking to people 17• Why I chose my url: *pulls megaphone out turns it on* I LOVE TSUKISHIMA KEI *turns megaphone off* and puts it away I love Tsukki, I love his love towards dinosaurs and I love puns. 18• Following: 48, I should follow more people tbh 19• Followers: 31 awesome or shall i say OWLsome? little crow ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ 20• Favourite colours: pastel pink & green 21• Average hours of sleep: It doesn’t matter when I go to bed, I never get up before noon 22• Lucky number: 4 23• Instruments: I used to play the flute for a good while 24• What am I wearing: Pjs and a blanket 25• How many blankets I sleep with: One 26• Dream Job: At this point I’m dreaming about having a job, let alone having an actual dream job, ahaha sadface But uhm... Translator maybe? Graphics designer? 27• Dream trip: Literally anywhere 28• Favourite food: Potatoes, cheese, sweets... trash food in general 29• Nationality: whispers I come from the deepest pits of Middle-Europe but I’m not gonna tell from where ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ 30• Favourite song right now: Oikawa’s theme song

And I’m going to tag my beloved Oya Squad, aka @ennychan, @shoyoou & @oinkskawa; @healy-mae-or-mae-not, @ryekamasaki, @symphonically-sweet @akaashi-tooru and literally anyone who wants to participate