#the last rites

[pink-apocalypse]

𝑩𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓…

Sylvia, the werewolf hunter, who was attacked by one as a child and watched her partner later get mauled, has come down with an unfortunate case of lycanthropy as of late. Did I forget to mention? :)

[spoopyium]

I don't know why but when he said he sampled the water of Qiaoying Village I just imagined him lapping it up on all fours when no one was looking so I doodled this up 💀💀

[cfeather]

light upon the sea

[detective-jane-rizzoli]

[cliverosfieldslefttiddy]

Ceremony & Devotion has “Clappity Clap Frisco”

Rite Here Rite Now has “one last one up the poopshoot”

This man is not escaping the silly goose allegations

[ghuleh-recs]

belated birthday kisses for the supremely kind, lovely, and talented @ghelullu ♡

[lucabyte]

Stardust.

[can-of-pringles]

Copia - Class of 2013, Mitski

[phladydoor]

Can’t believe Dan and Phil are going to individually bring every TIT attendee on stage and then activate the trap door that sends each one directly to hell.

[pink-apocalypse]

Profiles I drew quite a while ago, Amos in 3 stages (human, dhampir, vampire), and his horrible parents

Yeah his mum was inspired by Mrs Tweedy lmao

[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | drabble

“a nasty boy + a nasty girl = a mutual good time”

A/N: so I got high and horny and immediately thought about pornstar!joel and baby love. Me, personally? I love masturbating and it’s a great way to spend ur time if you’re bored, frustrated, sad, happy! It’s also a great way to get to know your own body better, (and your partners) in fact, the world would be a better and happier place if more people masturbated <3

word count: 1.3k

Summary: you and Joel have some fun getting high and playing with yourselves

Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader

Warnings: smut, established relationship, reader and Joel’s are pornstars, mutual masturbation, pussy play, handjob, cum shots, pussy pronouns, intimacy,language, one brief mention of Tommy slinging his meat, mentions of drugs (ouid), Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her 30’s, readers nickname is baby love, NSFW, minors DNI! +18

Almost every Sunday afternoon after you and Joel finished running your errands for the day, you would spend the rest of your afternoon getting high, and playing with yourselves. Sometimes Tommy would invite himself over, and the three of you would share a joint and throw on a porno of your choosing; always your choosing. You’d almost always pick something that you were filmed in. Whether it was solo play or you and Joel, or the three of you. (Neither Joel or Tommy would ever complain, of course.) There wasn’t anything you loved more than watching yourself get off.

Then you would find yourself sandwiched between them, letting your thighs fall open on either side of their knees, while they would be stroking their cocks and struggling to mentally decide if they should focus on the screen, or the way that your fingers were prettily playing with your pussy.

More times than not, it would just be you and Joel upstairs in your bedroom. You’d be in a fit of harmonious giggles when you waste no time to strip yourselves of your comfortable clothing and clamber onto the bed.

You were sitting across from each other, your legs were fully spread while his were just slightly spread open with a pillow underneath both of your backs for extra comfort and support. (No reason to get yourself off and then deal with the back pain afterwards. Where’s the fun in that?)

His right hand was lazily wrapped around the base of his cock in a semi-tight fist, languidly pumping himself. You loved how pretty his fist looked wrapped around his cock and the way his lips were parted open to release the softest grunt.

He watched your own ministrations with hooded eyes when you dragged your hand between your thighs, gathering up the sticky arousal that pooled in the seam of your pussy. You teasingly played with your folds, spreading them open so he could see your inner muscles clench and pulse. You slid your fingers further southwards, dipping them into your tight hole before slowly slipping them back out to spread your lips open again. A string of arousal hung between your middle and ring finger like the delicate strings on a harp. He could see how puffy and slick your lips were before he finally dragged his gaze upwards to your face.

“She’s the prettiest, neediest, and messiest lil’ cunt I’ve ever seen, baby love. Wish you could see just how puffy she looks from this angle, goddamn.” His words drooled and leaked like your sopping pussy. He was so, so filthy and always knew exactly what to say to really get you going.

“Mmm.” You hummed and took your lower lip between your teeth when you gently circled your clit, spreading your thighs open further. “I’m so wet right now, daddy. Love how pretty you look with your fist wrapped around your cock. Love watching you.”

He twisted his wrist, gently squeezing himself for a second of relief. He was so fucking hard, his cockhead was red and drooled a bead of precum that he used as extra lubricant. The sound of his hand fisting himself was nothing short of obscene.

“Love watching you play with your pretty pussy, baby love. Gettin’ her all nice and wet, yeah? She’s so messy.” He let out a throaty chuckle. “How many fingers do ya think you can fit inside of you for daddy?” He asked with a suggestive raise of his brow.

“She’s so messy.” You agreed as you let out a soft whimper. “I bet I could fit three…but I wanna see if I can make myself squirt this time.”

“Oh fuck, thas’ what you wanna do? Make your pretty pussy squirt all over the sheets…again?” He teased, pumping his fist in sync with your fingers playing with your clit. “You can easily fit three, baby love. You take my beer can of a cock with no problem. Would love to see you stretch yourself open.”

“Beer can of a cock?” You giggled and slipped your fingers back southwards to gather more of your arousal between them and brought them up to your mouth. You swirled your tongue around both digits, moaning softly at the tangy taste of yourself on your tongue. “Where’d you hear that one from, baby?”

“The internet, of course.” He said pridefully and with glee. “Twitter specifically said that I have a beer can of a cock. Maybe I should post a comparison?” He asked with a playful grin, reaching his freehand down to play with his balls, massaging them gently between his fingers.

“Oh, what if you did post a comparison, but with your cock resting on my face, and then the beer can next to it?” You suggested while bringing your hand back down to the seam of your pussy, slipping two fingers into your tight hole with ease.

“You just want an excuse for me to rest my cock on your face, baby love. Ain’t need an excuse for that, but that sounds hot. I’m all in.” He pumped his cock faster, falling in sync with how you were beginning to scissor your pussy open with your fingers.

“Always want to have an excuse for that, daddy.” You winked at him with that sultry smile of yours, face twisted in pleasure when you curled your fingers against your g-spot.

“Fuck, yeah, there you go, baby love. God, your pussy sounds so messy and wet. She sounds so-so pretty.”

You shallowy thrust your fingers faster, bringing your freehand down between your thighs so that you could play with your clit at the same time. You listened to the wet squelch of your pussy clenching down on your fingers, mixed in with yours and Joel’s moans.

He delayed his own orgasm for as long as he possibly could, desperately panting out your name and asking if he could cum on your face and tits.

You could feel your body begin to spasm, but not quite like the first time you had squirted. It was enough for you to see stars behind your closed eyes before you slipped your fingers out, with a loud, high pitched moan.

Yes, daddy! Come all over my face and tits.

And he did just that. It was your idea for him to use this as the comparison photo with the beer can. While he rushed downstairs, you dragged your fingers through the mess of cum on your tits and face, bringing your fingers up to your mouth so you could have a proper taste of him.

When he returned, he was met with the sight of you tasting his cum, and his cock jolted between his thighs, bobbing heavy and needy again. “Jesus fuck. You’re such a nasty little cockslut tasting daddy’s cum like that, baby love.

He rejoined you on the bed, gently placing the underside of his girth against your face, making sure to not cover up the thick globs of his cum on your pretty face. He held the beer can next to his cock for comparison, while his freehand took the proactive photo on his phone.

“Think I just found myself a new screensaver, baby love.” He said teasingly before he showed you the photo. He reached for the washcloth that he had brought up with him, and while you giggled and gushed over the photo, he cleaned the cum from your face and between your tits.

“What are you gonna caption it, daddy?” You asked sweetly, reaching your freehand up to curl it around his jaw and pull him down for a kiss.

“Mmm.” He hummed, letting you pull his face down to yours as your noses gently rubbed against one another before he slotted his lips against yours. “Thicker than a beer can.”

He ended up captioning the photo on his Twitter account and hour joined account: hunky, texan, and thicker than a beer can ;)

Tommy made fun of him over it for a week straight, but he never changed the caption.

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[weirdlookindog]

Dracula's Last Rites (1980)

[yellowbugifs]

154/365 days of regina mills

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

are you really besties if you can't share a joint

[thatgaywizardoverthere]

a million deaths upon you gay boy