#the kind where unless you know what its supposed to be you wouldnt be able to guess

[chickenoptyrx]

Quick dumb goofy thing. Very dumb.

But apparently dokkan (a gacha game i don't play) is tryin to appeal to me specifically. And apparently I am in fact very easy to manipulate. So I may be back on THIS brand of bullshit 🙃

[writers-get-biters]

sooooo tired of feeling bad and shitty and stuck and miserable

fuck my relationship ocd i hate it so much and also fuck being forced to do stuff i dont want by people i dont want to be with sometimes (like now )they get into some sort of fucked up loop where i feel miserable because of stuff in my brain and then theres external stuff which also fucks it up more so then my disabilities become more disabling because obviously and then i get blamed and hurt more externally because of my disabilities that are not! my! fault! and then of course that makes internal shit worse so then im just stuck in the middle forced to pretend shit doesnt suck and actually im fine and actually everythings fine keep being "jokingly" mean to me and pushing my boundaries i dont care i get it its actually really okay if you say something to me that most other people i know offline wouldnt consider mean even though i have told you to stop its okay if you dont stop i guess i guess its fine if no one listens to me and i have to sit in miserable silence by myself because i dont even feel like doing anything that any of my ceters enjoy like drawing or our data entry projects or video games or writing and it doesnt matter i guess that im so stressed because since its from an arbitrary authoritative institution everyone is supposedly fine with that makes it totally okay and actually the real problem is me and i guess im the problem and reason why no one wants to talk to me or communicate with me the way i want to be talked to or otherwise communicated with yeah my bad i guess its all my fault and im supposed to just suck it up and stop complaining and also its creepy and wrong and bad i guess for me to try to cope with any of this the way that i want to and i guess yeah i need to and should be keeping it a secret because otherwise ill make everyone else uncomfortable and thats the worst possible outcome btw no person left behind unless its me in which case utilitarianism is always right and we cant give a shit about everyone yk like someone is always going to be miserable but we should prioritize the most people so if i mention kink (ew) or my other interests (ew) im a horrible really bad person actually because im making other people (more important than me. btw) uncomfortable and upset also i should ignore the fact that i am systematically and systemically being isolated from and kept away from people who might actually show understanding and kindness towards me or be in a similar position and extend the kind of support i desperately need but its cool because you keep saying youre only doing that because im "better than them" and actually youre helping me because "those people" are bad and wrong and harmful and they might make me (simultaneously innocent and guilty) do bad things like drugs that might offer a chance to alleviate some of my pain or transition to a bodymind i& want or be angry or just generally be a "bad person" and not be able to participate in the joys of continuing the chain of oppression and harm. but its fine because its for my benefit actually because you frame it as ""those people" have it so hard and theyre so unlucky (because theyre treated like shit by everyone which is true because people's actions are definitely a matter of "luck") and i just want to spare you from that" how kind of you wow youre so sweet and nice to me right now because i havent violated any of your rules yet what a great person you are because you let me be myself to a certain extent (a tiny little eensy-weensy extent but thats fine because its more than i deserve anyway) and since im being invited to participate in the continuation of oppression and pain it would be pretty rude for me to say no and if i did say no it would definitely justify treating me badly and doing all of the things you do to "those people" to me because im technically actually even worse than "those people" because i could have been normal i could have just accepted your rules (that were literally killing me to follow) (not that you noticed)

and also on the other hand the people arguing against you get to use me as their fun little trick-up-their-sleeve because obviously its ridiculous to treat someone like me the way that you have and will and i can be used as a perfect little pawn

[the ceter who wrote this switched out around here, but before they did, it asked that the others of us post this vent anyway if they were unable to finish or post it]

[cloverpurr]

this means that we're going to get a weird... frostpaw relationship arc in the next book thats going to have to end with her and the other cat trying for kits (WHICH, BTW, SHE'S STILL A PAW. AN APPRENTICE?? DOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS WEIRD BUT ME?????????) when she's shown little interest in any other tom besides splashtail in like, books 1-3. and there's really no other tom close to her age either to make it not creepy...

the only candidates, the only cats that frostpaw is remotely close to for this kind of arc and later reveal of her not being able to have kits is. nightheart, who she has shown no affection or romantic feeling towards and vice versa, who is also already in a committed relationship (unless they somehow make him noncommittal out of thin air in the next book...???), and. splashtail again. but splashtail and frostpaw both vehemently hating each other, having 0 interest in each other romantically anymore... i feel like they wouldnt. the authors wouldnt stoop that low. right.

the only other cat i can think of being somehow forced into a relationship with frostpaw would be wafflepaw but even then i feel weird because isnt wafflepaw like 7 moons old. they would not fucking stoop THAT low, i know they wouldnt. but like... im out of options here. how else would frostpaw find out she can't have kits anymore if she doesnt get into a relationship last minute and immediately try to have kits. its not like any of the med cats will be like "ohhh yep! thats a tnr scar! 100%! This means you cant have children (very devastating)" because no one has pointed it out since the 4th book. the scar wasnt even MENTIONED in this book. did they forget???

or. like. are we all tripping and its not an actual neutered scar. im like 99% we all collectively agreed it was one (taken by twolegs, woke up the next day with a patch of fur missing and a scar on her side where there wasnt a wound before, which very much matches with a side flank spay incision scar)... i dont know what else it would be or why they would have even mentioned it originally if it wasnt supposed to be a spay scar. youd think they would... TRY to set up something with frostpaw and a potential love interest to further reveal the fact that she cant have kits but. thers nothing. which then means that shes going to have a super rushed relationship at the very end of the arc with some random cat who she has 0 chemistry with... god. NOT TO MENTION SHES STILL AN APPRENTICE AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS THIS WEIRD okay anyways. curious to see what ppl think

the new warrior cats book still hasn't addressed frostpaw getting neutered last book... im so scared for the nxet book if they havent brought it up yet in this one. is anyone else like afraid. anyone else dreading it

[absurdthirst]

I dont know if ambiguous implied consent or dub con really need to be analyzed as creepy or bad just beacuse it wouldnt be romantic in real life.

In the kind of fiction we read here or on ao3, especially fanfiction, the situations in which any dub con happens, is being written in an entierly controlled environment where the author and reader are on the same page about the feelings of the persons involved.

Unless explicitly warned about a true lack of consent on the story, we as authors do our best to make sure you understand that in this fantasy, both parties are okay with the actions even if one may not be on the same romantic level as the other.

It isnt supposed to reflect what real life situations should be, because we are simply writing a story in which you as the reader are clearly informed (either directly in tags and warnings or indirectly through storytelling) that the events going on are safe and consensual at their core.

Dub con has its place in romantic or sexual situations for those comfortable with it, and it is a staple of erotic fiction beacuse we can experience it 100% safe.

Its just not something that deserves to be looked at as anything creepy.

I completely agree that in fan fiction we should be able to explore the nature of dub con. It's one of my favorite reasons for it, it is a controlled, safe environment.

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool ����

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

[aal-archaeology]

Summary of my first term of my Ph.D. at Stanford during a global pandemic and an extremely controversial election year (Anthropology, yr. 1, she/they, 25y/o) with some toggl data analysis

Well this year was a doozy if I don’t say so myself. But we survived it, and its okay if that’s all you were able to do this year because that’s enough.  As an offical 18th grader, I feel like I can speak pretty well to the toxicity of the academic environment. There is always a pressure to be working all of the time, people compete with each other with how few hours of sleep they got, every conversation with fellow students is just listing off all of the different assignemnts you have to do by the end of the week. On top of all of this, this is 2020. So, I decided that this year I���m going to give myself some mental slack. 

I decided that this is the year that I’m not going to try to impress anyone. I’m just going to survive and do what I have to do to move onto the next term. I think I did a pretty good job at that for the first term, so I’ll share a bit about what I observed in myself and those in my cohort. Coming into term one having to choose classes, many of my peers were packing their schedules full of 5 Unit seminars. For those who don’t know, theoretically, a 5 Unit course is supposed to take about 5-6 hours of work outside of class hours. For Stanford Anthropology, most PhD students take as close as they can to 18 credits, and anything over that you have to pay extra for the courses. Taking more courses doesn’t really put you any further ahead in terms of completing your degree, and you’re expected to complete about 45 Units each year for the first two years of the program. 

I decided to take 2 seminars (typical), a language course, and a couple filler credits that we are given the option to use if we need 1-3 units to hit 18 total. I,  fortunately, tracked every hour spent outside of the classroom working on each course using toggl (i highly reccomend): 

In a typical week, I spent about 5-6 hours/week outside of class on my Anthro seminars, and about 6-7 hours on Japanese. Japanese was a “for-fun” class so I would usually study more of that when I didn’t feel like reading dense archaeological theory. 

Toggl was a really cool way to see where I was spending too much, or not enough, time on my classwork. If it was taking me more than 1.5 hours to get through a single article, I knew I was probably spending too much time on it and should move on to the next thing. My goal for the term was to stay true to the 5 Unit idea of 5-6 hours, and not over-work myself. 

Toggl was also useful in tracking my mental health throughout the term, as it is very obvious to see when I just was not physically capable of ingesting 400 pages of reading. For example, election week:

Election week was really hard for me, and everyone else in the world honestly. I had various family things I was dealing with, typical existential dread, plus it was week 8-ish of the term when everything was already on fire in terms of workload. For one of my seminars (purple), we had to read a book for the following week which I was able to do the sundar after election day. However, for the days leading up to and surrounding the 4th, the only thing I could mentally handle was mindless Japanese vocab studying. One of my seminars really sufferend this week, and I straight up just didnt show up to the smaller Anth 310G class because I had only read the title of the pdf. Fortunately, I emailed my professor of my Theory class and was like “yo dude I cannot” and he replied that he understood and wouldnt call on me during that day of class. 

I didn’t do a whole lot of journalling at all this term, but for this week I just wrote “pain” on most days and then YAY BIDEN at the end of it. 

Weekly Schedule

Above is what a typical week looked like, some were a lot lot lot more dense, others not so much, but this was pretty average. Not all things on the calendar are work related, some are extra lectures from visiting professors that sounded interesting, or “Free Boba & Snacks Pick Up” put on by my residence. Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday were my big work days last term, where I didn’t have a whole lot of classes so I would do most of my reading then. On Tues and Thurs I had one 3-hour seminar, and M-F I had a 50 min Japanese class. 

I woke up every day around 7am-ish, made a green tea, and sat at the computer to work, filter through emails, etc. On particularily open days I would go grocery shopping, go for bike rides/walks around campus, go buy food/boba. 

On class-heavy days, I wouldn’t leave my computer for 8-12 hours, which is extremely ridiculous but that’s the new norm in school in 2020. This kind of stunk because all of the socializing was also on the computer, so even if I wasn’t working I was doing screen related things. 

EVERY day I stopped working at 6pm. Rarely did I do readings past 6pm unless I was really slacking somewhere. From 6pm onwards I would do things like play Among Us or League of Legends with my discord friends, eat, watch movies with my partner, etc. And then most nights I would try to be in bed by 12am at the latest. 

Social Life

Despite the online nature of things this term, I was suprisingly able to meet a lot of great people on campus. We were all being tested at least once a week, which made in person gatherings with 1-4 people a little less scary, especially when half of the people lived together in one household. 

In the first week of school, some of the grad programs put on a “speed friending” zoom event, where I was able to connect with two people really well. We ended up doing a “slow-friending” zoom event afterwards and then created a FB group chat and added all of the people we had met into it. The group ended up being about 15 people, and we would message the group for park hangouts, going to get food, or going on walks on campus. We also had a huge get together in a park for Mid-Autumn Festival, where we sat in a socially distanced circle, chatted, and ate mooncakes. 

Most of my socializing came from my online friends, and amongus was a huge savior to my mental health this term wher emy group would play literally every night. I also made a really good friend off of Bumble BFF this term, who I’ve hung out with a good amount for plant shopping and board games. 

I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can get tested for COVID on a days notice, and very grateful that I could use that to stay a little sane.  My Biggest Accomplishment this term, was not school related. but instead I hit my 365 DAY STREAK on duolingo. This was celebrated with cake. This streak has lived through literal hell and for that I am very proud. 

Overall reflection:

This term was super rough, there were a lot of days where I just napped through it and a lot of days where I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. However, I think the courseload that I took was very manageable and I’m going to continue to go light on myself in that regard. 

I really liked the boundaries that I set for myself this term, not working after 6pm and making time to do some fun things in the midst of chaos. I never felt like I was too far behind on work, or that I wasn’t doing enough, because I had a literal reminder in front of me that I had already put x amount of hours into something with toggl. 

Sometimes in class I would feel like I didn’t know how to productively contribute to conversation, but I think thats a skill that will get better over time and not being so great at it should especially be expected in the first term of a program.

Socially I met a lot of wonderful people who also made me feel more comfortable will myself. I started using She/They pronouns which feel really comforting to me. I made a lot of little origami cranes every time I was feeling sad. I drank a lot of boba. Watched a lot of She Ra. Played a lot of games. It all ended up being okay despite the weight of everything around me. 

I’m proud of all of you for making it through this year, I know it was really difficult for a lot of people in more ways than it was for me, but we’re still here! Sometimes all you can do it make it to the next day and thats such a big accomplishment on its own.  Please feel free to reach out with any questions about time-management, toggl, phd stuff in general, archaeology, etc! Always happy to help out. :’) Thanks for reading! Lyss

[lilyrealm]

i lied i changed the tag immediately. anywayyy maybe ill just start typing and see if inspo comes to me. i think itd be kind of funny if in this au ei and makoto arent even related, ei is just an actual android body double commissioned for makoto. i cant rmb, inazuma didnt know makoto existed right? did they just not know there was a handover 500 years ago... but yea thats gonna add a little identity crisis to the mix (remembers fontaine) wait... ok we'll get to there when we get there!! inazuma first

i suppose yae is just made for the shrine... everyone else that has like a normal job, just assume theyre made for their normal job ok. ittos is not a normal job tho. UNLESS... genius strat where they make a "gang leader" that is actually harmless and even plays with kids, but is capable of overpowering other gangs, thus. no actual criminal gangs!! we onto smth here. kuki wouldnt be needed tho but since she has that shrine story she can be one of those that had their purpose changed perhaps. how? well either its sentience or someone behind the scenes 🤷‍♀️ dont think abt it too deeply

who else... everyone else is kind of self explanatory i think. they just... do their jobs/help people they work alongside. i suppose kokomis different since shes in a position of power, and they have that family line jazz, so its kind of weird for her to be a commercial (celestia) android. maybe we can just assume technology is fairly advanced in this era so theyre not all commercial? people can just make their own. oh yeah this ties back into daydreams' original concept of like... broken down models being fixed up by readers... who knows, maybe people even make imitations. hm. maybe that should be neuvillette since hes an enemy of celestiaOkay i keep jumping to fontaine for some reason

should i keep it to one nation a reblog or just keep going. imma keep going. now how do we fit in rukkhadevatas whole thing... i also dont claim to be very knowledgeable about all the desert stuff (and havent finished the pari quest😭) but its probably also not celestia approved so maybe its also a separate faction? wait hold on. the forbidden knowledge can just be. a virus. and some buggy code is left in rukkhadevatas memory so nahida had to delete her loooool okay with how tech they made sumeru this fits really nicely.

im gonna say cynos bad jokes+tcg interest was not scripted at all cuz idk why theyd do that unless some engineer was like wouldnt it be funny. i mean thats also possible ig but like with kuki, sentience is an option... i think this entire au was (partially) inspired when i read smth (an anon on daydream's blog maybe?) about alhaitham and nahida being school guides or something. alhaitham proobably wouldnt be a teacher type i think he just helps them do admin and is fully aware the sages delegate a lot of work to the "scribe" bc they know hes an android. oooh but maybe they keep it quiet and not even everybody knows hes an android so hes like Lol if youre gonna masquerade me as a human you better treat me like one and give me time off and holiday pay etc. yeah thats funny

...i have no idea how to fit in his and kavehs roommate situation. it would be funny if kaveh wasnt an android and just had no idea (bonus angst when he finds out and is like uve been lying to me?!?!) though i did start this thinkihg vision holders would all be androids. WAIT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR THE VISION HUNT DECREE. oh i guess its just "deactivate that mf" huh. no thats weird cuz yoimiya wouldnt be able to be "alive" for the coup... maybe it fr just disables their elemental powers. which could be connected to their ambitions who knows, that could be the original concept.

okay now weve got that squared away, back to sumeru. ill put kaveh on the backburnerWait. what if there was like a. make someone into an android a la nikke bc theyre dying or just because. and he did that but now hes broke bc of the payment for it. okayy maybe.

also im thinkin if usually the ppl in charge commission these droids (i mean that might spoil a lot of the rebellion plotlines) maybe celestia also just randomly releases models that werent commissioned... okay what i wanted to get at was, the sages wouldnt have commed nilou (unless they were more lenient on the arts in the past which is possible i just cant rmb) but if not i guess she can just be a random celestia release. who the fuck made layla

aaaand ive been avoiding the elephant in the room... scaramouche. i do love the idea of each of his forms being different models. ahhh it would be cool if ei actually did make him, not celestia. using her own knowledge and power but shes not perfect and neither is he (ok thats not why she deemed him unsuitable) (omg. it was bc he cried on birth and she was like ah hes too soft (human) HaHaHa that would be really Funny if it reminds her of makoto Lol)

so... kabukimono escapes his holding and tatarasuna happens... damn the whole irminsul-history-wipe thing doesnt really work here. unless, if we are still setting this in the original universe with magic and stuff, just with MORE androids, then i guess irminsul could exist. just that instead of being a corrupting Thing in rukkhadevata, the forbidden knowledge is a corrupting virus. 👍

back to scara. there isnt much to change here, he can absolutely still have his human crisis because none of the people he stayed with were vision holders so he never met a fellow android. and hes also different from fellow androids anyway since ei made him! wow! double whammy! anyway dottore

everything is just the same actually. like this doesnt change anything in the plot they still make that fuckass robot. okay is there anything else in sumeru im missing. oh right earlier i was like why would they make layla cuz i was like. they should not encourage sleeping in class. but it could be like, yk, relatable to students, but she still gets work done so yk no excuse (except that shes an android)!! i also know she has some identity issues but i havent done her hangout yet so... gonna leave it there, idk if itll affect this too much. faruzans just a teacher, etc etc, dori could be a plant or just commissioned/made by the black market lol

cyno and sethos' Thing... hmmmmmmm. i guess, instead of kids they just made two androids to be the host for the the soul of h. im trying to remember but all thats coming to mind is hamarhaft which is a weapon in bg3. quick google: hermanubis. yes. oooh so maybe cyno isnt commissioned by the sages at all! yeah okay that makes things make sense!

hmmmmm. collei. she didnt have a vision in the manga, right... perhaps dottores experiment is to "fix" eleazar patients by combining them/putting their brain into an android? yeah that sounds plausible (dottore fans dont gut me cuz i never read too deeply into his experiments)

that should be all outliers in sumeru? onto fontaiWAIT I FORGOT ABOUT KAZUHA. hm. hmmm. yk its possible that the inazuma clans comm their own androids, so like, the kamisatos... (i also think itd be an extra layer to ayakas angst if the public didnt know they were androids.) so maybe the kaedeharas made one on the last of their money lol. his friend is i really dont know he could be anything, all that matters is hes an android (had a vision) and was killed by ei (driving a sword through an android should probably fuck it up. especially if the sword is empowered by elemental magic and ei was part of the original archon lineup).

then he fucks off to explore the world. definitely not a commercial android. haha even though he and scara would be popular choices (not necessarily tgt) but i accidentally made them one of a kind so no you cant really go to the market and buy a scara android. though i suppose that does delve more into "genshin plot is just a story the company made to drive sales" rather than "genshin plot is happening right now".

baaaack to fontaine. oooh boy oh boy. to start, focalors was against celestia from the start, though i dont think itd be too bad to say they made her and she went r—wait i forgot, the previous hydro archon passed the title to her. side note what the fuck are oceanids in this au. androids lite. nah maybe they can still be oceanids. so the prev hydro archon (egaria? no its egeria) passed the title of archon to focalors. perhaps she did an ei and made her own droid? how does passing the archon title work with this though... unless archon isnt really assigned the androids, thats just what they called the initial lineup and those that still have that initial model treat them as gods. so egarias the commercial bot that went rogue. or something im looking at her wiki and the history is... um a lot more complicated im not even sure if she was part of the original archon lineup. okay thats not important. whats important is: what the fuck is furina???

furina is supposed to be part fontainian, so part oceanid... magic fuse an oceanid with a droid and bam...! but splits them in two... shit then the droid is the one hiding instead lol. but hey with all their pneuma ousia shit maybe it needs to be a droid converting all that energy! but normal fontainians are not immortal the way furina is/was sooo... idk we're mixing scifi and fantasy magic so theres probably something connecting the two of them to each other, some battery inside them, or maybe furinas like 1/4 droid while focalora is 1/4 oceanid. that could work.

WHAT THE FUCK IS NEUVILLETTE. clearly not made by celestia. lol since they stole the power from the dragons its just an old company that maybe pioneered this tech but celestia stole it!?!? i feel like i should be thinking about khaenriah here. but anyway. neuvillette canonically isnt pure dragon so maybe its like... the creators have lost some of their materials or process due to celestia so they cant make a proper dragon again. so they just make a humanoid also to masquerade under celestias gaze (spoiler: they aint even notice?)

so how does the transfer of power work... focalors kills herself, WHAT THE HELL IS THE WHALE DOING HERE, and gives up her "archon powers"... which, here, can be some kind of magical tech that neuvillette takes. bit more manual work perhaps but we ball

okay. the fatui. the tsaritsa (glances at wiki) isnt even the original cryo archon, but otherwise we dk much. but i think its prooobably fair to assume she makes the fatui. or does nikke shit like dottore was gonna do except like better. and delusions? just. fucked up versions of the elemental magic (visions) other bots have ORRR its just terrible for mortals since its not that bad for visionholders. spews toxic shit idk. REGARDLESS. okay obviously not all the fatui are from snezhnaya... maybe she makes the normal fatui army looool ok ignore ALL of this since we dont really know anything about her, i was just trying to figure out the house of hearth 😭😭😭

so. we have to remember the fontainian oceanid thing. hold on what the fuck then fontainians cant be androids here since theyre full human(ish). hmm. hmmmmm. alright, so, hm. fuck. i dug myself into a hole. OKAY. lets see. what if the fontainians are all actually a kind of oceanid-droid egeria made. its just that focalors has extra archon tech in her from egeria. so all fontainians have like (i was gonna say kill switch which im not sure is better than dissolving to water honestly) a latent ability to become magical (get visions) to make up for... celestia not giving them any because they were like what the fuck, egeria.

i mean its also possible celestia also sent normal androids there you just cant tell. and its not like everyones tested the primordial water, maybe they actually wont be affected (who would even want to risk it lol), you really just cant tell. like we can just say all the playable/important chars we know never touched primordial water (well obviously. cuz theyre. still alive)

pause i just saved this as a draft just in case i accidentally like close the app and i realised i DO have another draft talking about inazuma bots. and it had this crazy idea of the real ayato and ayaka dying so they made bots of them. but the other stuff i wrote there about ei is not as interesting as the one i wrote here tho so scrap that. i did have one interesting line about venti and zhongli not being their original prototype archon model anymore and ei still was because she just makes new models/upgrades. then its funny cuz im like yea rukkhadevata probably figured that out with the irminsul (nahida must be a new model) and fontaine has its own problem so its just. venti and zhongli. old ass men being the originals. WAIT WHAT IF VENTIS APPEARANCR WAS JUST THE NAMELESS BARD AND THEY NIKKEFIED HIM. what is a wind spirit. actual wind spirit or little ai lmao.......

ok so back to um, the HoH. arle only gets her vision after becoming the knave, right, she fights the whoever orphanage mom with her own blood powers first (wtf is that btw i feel like theres no explanation in game but ig it doesnt appear much in game either so its okay...?) maybe just a defective bot or smth... MOVING ON i just wanted to get to the trio siblings...

wow okay i wanted to get to them cuz i like them but now that im here im like... what could i say. theyre the "doing jobs" droids again. cant even say theyre fatui made bc of the fontainian thing and most of them are just normal people. sorry damn. damn i think the rest of the chars are also just "doing jobs" droids. oh well

i havent touched natlan at all so i cant say anything about them 🤷‍♀️ JESUS THIS WAS LONG AF WHATS WRONG WITH ME (the undiagnosed autism, my oomfs would say)

SHUT UP OMG i just looked at my drafts again, i had ANOTHER inazuma draft written where id alr come up w the idea of makoto being human. ah well. Wait this doesnt mesh with makoto also considered an archon before ei took over LETS WORRY ABT THAT LATER CUZ that short draft also had an extra concept for the kamisatos which is. parents couldnt conceive so they commed ayato and ayaka without telling the public theyre androids. so its either they start androids or replace humans... im thinking start because theres not really enough time between the familys deaths to make new models of them. unless their deaths were separate and earlier and somehow kept very hushed up... yeah no. they were always androids. WHEW NOW WE'RE DONE. I PROMISE. MAYBE

i simply think it is so fun to imagine a world where a company makes a bunch of androids to assist people and provide companionship so they give the androids stories and release them in certain themes or lines and those androids are the genshin characters. credit to @yandere-daydreams for the idea. i love it so much. yes we all want x character to be our boyfriend or girlfriend and we have sex with them yes but i think its fun to imagine their roles when theyre not being yandere...

also the read more is very long i just went off about my ideas for most of the mondstadt characters. nothing wrong with me

if this is set in teyvats world imagine amber being like a gliding instructor in mondstadt. good engineer too, maybe the first bot that can fix other bots/have intricate knowledge of them (because she made baron bunny).

for human injuries theres barbara and jean, but with different temperaments for different patients. or if we're still set in teyvat, then jean (and the rest of the favonius knights characters) are actually android assistants to the actual human knights. basically the androids replace vision holders??

but yeah kaeya would also be a knight assistant, noelles story is she trains super hard but still isnt a knight (because shes made to help actual trainees!). lisa of course manages the library. yeah sorry thats it. makes tea

and i had the idea (this is all stolen from my own twitter thread from *checks* last year? anyway) that they would tease the release of bots like diluc, rosaria and razor through voicelines from kaeya, barbara and lisa. really like the idea of razor originally being some sort of surveillance android for wolvendom/integrating with them in some way for research and sort of became a guide for people who get lost in wolvendom.

diona and diluc are two different types of bartenders, one is good against people who cant say no to a cute (angry) kitty and the others... are those require some intimidation.

VENTI. god, i think itd be cool if they had prototype models for the seven archons and actual venti bots now definitely play into the "broke bard who plays for alcohol" thing. but of course anyone with eyes knows that his original model was the barbatos android.

oh!! and bennett and fischl being adventurers buddies. bennett is "unlucky" but hes actually like, wired to be hypervigilant and take hits for you while he shrugs it off. and fischl comes with oz if you need some chuuni speech translated, but you can disable that if you want to go full rp with her.

*looks at my thread* oh yeah "Albedo is made for the alchemists in the Knights, and he was meant to be released with Klee, but there was a delay because his ai kept experimenting on its own copies (Flowerfell Albedo?)" ngl i didnt play the albedo event and never bothered to watch a video so i dont know the full extent of his lore here. oh right and i added "sucrose is made to keep an eye on him in the labs" lmao

klee is. i suppose made for the knights. a cute energetic girl to keep morale up, whos fireproof and thus able to scout dangerous areas/bomb them if you so wish.

oh yeah i wrote that the church was not happy about the rosaria bots being made so they relegated her to guarding dragonspine against foolish adventurers. as to why she keeps appearing in bars, well, uh. No comment — Celestia Inc.

the lawrence clan wanted in on this business and sponsored a representative of their family, but mondstadts opinion of them is less than friendly, so the knights compromise and make eula, a lawrence knight.

whew okay for some reason i was able to churn out a lot for mondstadt and then everyone else i was like uh yeah. they exist and do things similar to what they do in game like xiangling being a cook's aide. yep. idk why the mondstadt worldbuilding gripped me so hard like that.

also my last thought is that maybe the hilichurls are just the verryyy alpha version of their bots, the khaenri'ah line (i think daydream mentioned this) and maybe just broke down and went rogue/abandoned. so now they make better bots to fight them and keep people safe. go figure. earns them a ton of cash though. lol imagine if getting them was a lottery too....

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon back again. I had a sort of writers block for the last like 2 days which made it really hard to do some questions, but I got em done finally. Sorry about the wait. This one is split between the numbered questions, and next ask is the other questions you asked!

I think I accidentally skipped a question in the last one. I honestly don't completely remember but in case I did skip it by mistake, the groups first travel out of the city's limits and even further beyond in a carriage. When they reach the end of how far the driver is willing to go they then get out and start walking. With Jackie screaming about how their finally going on a adventure. 

1: It thankfully doesn't get to to bad before the others notice. And he immediately told them about Dream, wanting to be very clear with what happened and what they where getting themselves into. But they accepted him anyway and helped him. 

2: Isaac is the leader cause Cletus is too much of a wildcard and too impulsive to lead safely, Charles is too shy to lead, and while Benjamin is perfect for leading he doesnt really like leading and is more of a follower than a leader. But Isaac can joke around and gets along with everyone but also be able to take things seriously and know when something needs to be handled.

5: They do not, they last for a few minutes and unless its a healing or regeneration potion (in which it can take a few days for it to fully go away) they have no long lasting affects. They do know of eachothers past to an extent, they know enough to avoid triggers and enough to know what not to do when around eachother. They know through telling eachother, and they feel awful Grievous and Jackie had to deal with that, but leave it in the past and focus on making their current life better. 

6: Yes and no, while Jackie did mean to throw it at Ran, he ment for it to just hit nearby him, not directly hit him. It was ment to be more of a scare/intimidation tactic than anything else honestly. Grievous's luck is for basically everything, he has won the lottery twice before actually but only those 2 times, he's correctly guessed how many items are in a container more than a few times as well. 

7: I use the height charts and they help mostly for comparison, problem is I have trouble applying it to real world stuff and because of that I still have trouble knowing if something or someone is to tall or short. Jackie can get very mean, like he can make fun of someone who just lost a loved one or experienced a traumatic event at the worst. But he usually doesn't get nearly that mean, most he does normally is making fun of how someone looks or how they do certain things. The others comfort him the best they can when he gets sad, and when he gets mean they either encourage it (Grievous), or discourage it and stop him (Watson. Ran is between either encouraging or discouraging it).

8: He was! He spent most of his life adventuring actually! He misses it somedays now since he lives in Subbin, but he believes giving up his adventuring life for a family and friends who needed him is a more than far trade and would happily pick his family over adventuring again. For around 4 years after Ran left Mizu (including the day he left), Ran traveled everywhere, and learned how to survive himself and taught himself different things, like sewing. Ran has made new socks, fixed clothes, and made blankets for everyone at least once. Watson also designs bows and arrows for show, for top functionality, and for just simple (training) gifts to the others. Ran (and Watson) has visited the nether, though Ran tended to stay in it longer than Watson cause he could withstand the temperatures better. And while digging a new tunnel across the nether he ran into ancient debris, which he then messed with until he figured out to mix it with gold and coat his sword in it. He tried to find more ancient debris but sadly hasn't found any, leaving his sword permanently damaged and at risk of breaking. Jackie isn't good at all at painting, its more of a hobby he's trying out. They try to camp out there at least once a week, where Grievous will sometimes build a pillowfort and either force everyone inside or play a game of capture the fort with them. Sometimes Ran will also read during the pillowfort nights, but not to often. Jackie wants to vist a Snow, Savanna, Jungle,  Tagia, and if possible, a Ice Spike biome. He also wants to vist the nether but he'll have to fight Ran on that. Ran and Jackie's secondary titles are in Javanese!

9: Ran just kinda went "Hey Jackie, stand still for a second." "Ok?" And then he just picked him up and threw up. 

10: When he's first given dinner after already eaten lunch, he just kinda stares at the food. Then asks if they meant to give him food, and when the others say yes, he asks why because he thought people only ate once every few days. His answer shocked the others and they ask him to explain, and he explains futher that he was only allowed to eat and drink once every 3 days. Their horrified by this answer but explain to him how theres 3 meals a day and he can drink whenever, he doesn't believe them at first but eventually accepts it. 

11: When the fishermen first come to Ranbob about their worry, he expresses the same worry as them. But says that it's unlikely Ran will hurt the fishermen specifically, because Rans haunting are already friends with them, and Ran wouldnt risk breaking the friendship unless he deemed it necessary for their safety. 

12: Ranbob is sad that Ran goes to such lengths to avoid him and keep people away from him, but he has resigned himself to it. As he knew that if Ran was alive it was greatly unlikely that he would trust him and knew he would be avoided. Which is actually particularly why he believes Ran will never trust him again and why he views Ran as a kind of lost family member. One he'll never get back no matter what he does.

13: Their first stop is a nearby flower biome, and after that Watson has planned to lead them to a waterfall he found with a shattered Savanna somewhat close to it. They plan to travel for a minimum of 6 months, they can actually travel for as long as they want to, but Prokius made them agree that they must be back before the next General Pit Battles (which happens once every 5 years). 

14: He would 100% run himself into the ground until he's barely alive while searching for them. Benjamin compares Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream, to an abused person wanting to go back to their abusive lover. They believe they've changed and that they truly do love them and want the best for them, but in reality that's not it at all and others have to help them see thats not true and help them save themselves. So it doesn't surprise Benjamin or Isaac that much (it surprises Charles and Cletus though), and after its explained to them, their all more than willing to help Ranbob get over Dream and help him be himself again.

15: Oh definitely. Once they hear the Green-Eyed Enderman is back from hiding they all set out again, and after the group gets attacked and once word spreads that its in a group and there's another enderman with them, they all get targeted. With the Gladiators and Fishermen being targeted as bait or hostages to try to trick the enderman into following a trap. Ran wasnt affected like his brother was. Im talking about trauma and maybe even a bit of PTSD that came from Mizu, caused by Dream. Though both of the brothers have gained different amounts of trauma and PTSD from Dream. I may give the raven to either Watson or Ran, I think its fits both of them really well. I want to have them come across ruins of other Tales but im not sure which ones. Maybe they could find the remains of the Wild West Tale and the Haunted Mansion?

Glad to see you, Brothers Anon, and excited to read!

1: The perfect start to an Adventure. And a funny mental image. Imagining these two groups cramped into carriages is pretty amusing. How ready was everyone to get out by the time they could?

2: The fishermen are really great, and Ranbob is very lucky. I love them.

3: Isaac sounds like he’s a pretty good fit for it then. But nobody’s perfect! What are some flaws of his, leadership-wise?

5: Interesting. What makes Regeneration and Healing last longer? I suppose it’s not relative to the AU, but I am a bit curious. What’s the world’s potions mechanisms, if you don’t mind me asking? And that’s good! They may not know everything, but they know what to avoid, and that’s important. Everyone’s moved forward and are making the best of life, and honestly, that’s pretty cool of them.

6: Welp, Jackie, it seems intimidation tactic failed. However, you have managed to anger Ran, so..there’s that. He won the lottery? Dang. Well, if they ever need money, they can just send him to the nearest casino, I suppose.

7: Aight, so I may have a solution for you there. Whatever height you’re going for, find something in real life that’s just about the same height. Like a tree, or something. Or not, we can always just leave it at short enough to be tossed and tall enough to be the tosser. Jackie sounds like he knows where to hit to make it hurt, honestly. It’s good that they comfort him, though I am curious why they all react as they do to him being mean. Why does Grievous encourage it? And is it more of a depends on the day thing for Ran, or a depends on what was said to Jackie, and what Jackie’s saying thing?

8: Nice! What kind of places did he go? Does he have any particularly interesting knickknacks from that time period? And Ran personally sounds like he knows what he’s doing. Watson’s weapons sound really cool, where did he learn to make them? Is visiting the Nether not a common occurrence these days? Or is it simply that the others never got around to it before? Well, hobbies are always fun to try. Does Jackie keep at it and get better or get bored and try something else? How does Capture the Fort go with these guys, considering they’re gladiators? Why does Jackie want to visit those particular biomes? Is there a reason, or do they just sound cool to him? And why would Ran not want them going to the Nether? Because of the danger?

9: FDXGHJ- He just- tossed him?? No warning?? Oh my gods, I’m dying. How did Jackie react to that? Heck, how did Porkius react to that? I doubt anyone was expecting that display.

10: Oh, no. Now I really want to punch Dream in the face. What the heck, Dream?! He legit asks if they meant to give him food...If one of the fishermen or gladiators doesn’t eventually find a way to punch Dream, I will be forced to travel realities and do it myself. 

11: Kind of sad that Ranbob was equally concerned about it. But hey! He won’t have to be, one day!

12: Poor Ranbob. I hope he’s proven wrong, eventually. Do the fishermen know that he thinks this? If so, how do they feel about it? Or does he kind of just keep those thoughts to himself?

13: Flower biomes are really pretty. What did everyone think about it? Did they bring any flowers with them? So this roadtrip could possibly go on for a few years. Did they leave just after a General Pit Battle, or do they have like, less than five years? Speaking of General, is Jackie still the General in this AU? Does he have extra duties because of it? Or is that not something that happened in this AU?

14: Yikes. Reactions to this? Why does Ranbob believe Dream’s changed, as you put it? Is Dream still able to talk to him, or is it because he just misses being there? So Benjamin and Isaac aren’t all that surprised about it. Do they take the reins in helping out? And how do they all do so? It’s good that they’re helping him though.

15: Well, this sounds like it can’t end well. They try to use the hauntings as bait? Is anyone actually captured? Rescue missions? And alright, that makes a bit more sense. I can see how they’d both be effected differently, and honestly, they’d probably both have very different perspectives of the event, all things considered. Ravens for the win! And it’d be really cool for them to come across the ruins of old Tales buildings. Can you imagine the kind of things they’d find? Diaries, faded photographs, moth-eaten clothes, blood stained floors...Like a walk in the past, but they’ll never know what came to be for the people of that time.

[darkelite020]

Bad batch episode 8 reaction and predictions

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- HEY THE EPISODE IS CALLED REUNION I CALLED CROSSHAIR WOULD COME BACK THEY BETTER SAVE HIM but they also wont because this show likes to be sad  - Oh also I am stupid and didnt notice but Bracca is where Cal started off in fallen order!! I’d be shocked if we saw Cal and really doubt we will but its a cool detail - These fucking “anti clone” empire people smh so dumb -- Also “terminate them” hehe even more sad now when we remember like how bad wrecker felt about last episode and crosshair doesn’t want to really be doing this to his friends - oh my god wrecker why would you DO THAT -- ok thats a little better just a smoke bomb but that was probably stressful as fuck for omega omg - Why do I get the feeling that this place with all the bombs and weaponry is really dangerous and something is gonna go wrong in here? - Oh? Is that a little missing the 501st I see in Echo? (yes hes not leaving bad batch) but last episode he didnt really seem to care about them at all so... a little echo redemption?  -- You can definitely tell by that conversation though that because he was a reg Echo has the very “Im a soldier” mentality that pretty much all the regs showed while meanwhile the bad batch are soldiers and follow orders too but they are known for doing things in an untraditional manner so its interesting to kind of compare it. - What do the kaminoans want with Omega??? I mentioned in a previous prediction that I thought her ability was like... to be good at adapting and picking up on things quickly or something, but theres no way the kaminoans would want her for that, so I’m confused... rather she has some ability we still havent seen (which then for the other stuff theyre trying to just say is coincidence which is kind of bs?) or she has some other value but I dont know... I do feel like because the second half of the season is supposed to be more emotional she’s going to get caught at some point though. -- Maybe they’ll get crosshair back but lose omega, and then crosshair will kind of know how the empire runs on kamino and be able to help them get her or something? (eventually not this episode/ soon anyway) --- WAIT ITS CALLED REUNION WHAT IF THEY GET HIM BACK NOW?? >> ---- #savecrosshair2021 - Every single one of these incoming clone deaths in this episode is going to hurt me - Wrecker that sounded like you didnt like crosshair anymore D: - Ok hunter omega I love you guys but you cant  talk the inhibitor chip out of him lol like all clones that we’ve seen turn couldnt just be like “yeah youre right ok I’ll stop.” Like literally omega should know this even more because of wreckers apology - OH MY GOD HAHA I DIDN’T EXPECT WRECKER TO THROW THAT AT THE GUY PFFT - Wrecker telling Tech that no one cares was a little mean... but at the same time I imagine Tech rambles on and on about stuff literally all the time so I guess its fair - Heyo might wanna get out of the engine bb... like lets not stand in them talking around unless we’re gonna do something - Who’s helping them? OH HELLO SIR -- But wtf does Cad want with them >> Like he’s a bounty hunter yeah but if hes hired by the empire its not like the empire is gonna be happy he killed empire people to get them. I’m guessing it was the kaminoans but like if Cad did bring her back how is the empire just not gonna notice that - WAIT FUCKING EXCUSE ME -- HES NOT DEAD THOUGH RIGHT? RIGHT????? --- Ok thank god he’s ok... so I was partially wrong they didn’t trade but Omega was taken...  - The kaminoans are rather gonna take Omega somewhere she can’t escape or far away probably, but what if she gets to interact with crosshair more, and somehow helps him with the inhibitor chip? Like I doubt that’ll happen realistically and that she can do that all on her own because well we’ve seen that before with Fives kinda and he barely was able to plus crosshair wouldnt go willingly so probably not but I still want crosshair to be saved by the end of the season >:( 

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Geralt x Injured reader part 1

Part 2

Pairing: Geralt x reader (self insert)

Warnings: swearing, injury, blood, I think that's all?

Summary: Reader is feeling jealous and wanders too far from camp.

*********************

Hey guys! This is like my first fanfiction ever. And I wrote it at like 3am when I couldn't sleep. It's probably trash but if you like it I do have ideas for more! Xoxo enjoy****

Geralt x injured reader part 1

Jealousy was not a pretty color on you. And you swore riot yourself it was no such thing. After all Geralt of Rivia was just a teacher/friend you were travelling with. You had some skill with a sword, he found you trying to take down a kikkemora all by yourself, and failing miserably. After you saw how skilled he was you begged him to take you with him, to train you. He said no of course, so you just kept tagging along without his consent. At some point though he finally decided that if you were gonna come along you might as well be of some use so you made a deal.

Over the months you grew stronger but still had much to learn. After all it takes years for anyone to become a great fighter. And luckily for you, Geralt had many many many years of experience to offer you.

You enjoyed the time you spent togther, the conversation, (although you did most of the talking..) and the training, he was one of the few people in your life you felt comfortable with. Someone you could always count on. And somewhere along your travels the line between student and teacher blurred for you into something else, although you did your best to deny it at first.

You had gone off and caught feelings for the man who had no interest in real committed relationships. You knew you had it bad when you found yourself overflowing with irritation when he spent his nights in the arms of some whore at a dirty brothel.

On those nights you drank until you passed out on roach. Pretty fucking pathetic y/n.

Then came along the witch, Yennefer..

You saw how they looked at eachother, a look you'd wish Geralt would give you even for a fleeting moment.

There were creatures that had been attacking the villagers at night, so the three of you, well four since Jaskier decided to tag along when he spotted us, were tracking these monsters into the forest. You didnt mind Jaskier at all, his songs a welcome distraction from the obvious growing bond between Geralt and Yennefer.

You felt horrible for the animosity you felt towards her. She did nothing wrong and you hated that if not for your jealousy, you probably would have been close friends.

If you were a better women you could get over your silly crush and focus on your training but...

Yeah you had some growing to do. After searching the forest for a few hours, and finding nothing, everyone was tired and decided to set up camp.

Once Geralt tied down roach, he turned to address the group, "Everyone is to stay in camp, these monsters are dangerous, so if you need to take a piss, I suggest you do it behind a tent, unless you wanna risk getting your head shot off" he said rather gruffly.

Jaskier made a sound of discomfort and scooted closer to the fire.

"Dont worry jaskier, I'll protect you" you giggled.

He turned to you in amusement, "Ah yes how does go the training y/n, last I saw you, you could barely lift your sword" he teased.

"I've gotten rather good, mind if I practice on you?" You teased.

"Thanks but I think I better go and get my beauty sleep, good night" he smiled and retreated into his tent.

You went to feed roach some apples when you noticed that Geralt and Yennefer had dissapeared.

Huh? Where did they go? At first you thought they were in trouble since you didnt hear either of them say goodnight but as you got closer to the middle of camp you heard voices coming from Yennefers tent.

You told yourself not to look but you couldn't help it. And the instant you did you felt your heart break. It was one thing to see him in the arms of a whore. You knew they meant nothing to him, but in the arms of someone he cares for? That hurt...

Roughly you turned away from the kissing couple and marched away. Away from camp, away from stupid feelings and dumb petty jealousy.

It was not yennefers fault she was beautiful and powerful and brilliant. And if you were jealous then you should become just as amazing as she is. Maybe then he would notice you...

You were snapped out of your reverie when a rustle in the bushes caught your attention.

Fuck I was not supposed to leave camp...

Thinking quickly, you unsheathed your sword and held it at the ready. Its sharp edge gleaming in the moonlight.

Eyes narrowing at the bush. A moment later you were relived when a rabbit hopped out.

Phew I thought It was--

*SCRAWWWWWWWWCH*

Fuck

You barely missed the creatures slimy claws as it swiped for your head. Jumping to the side you managed to get a good look at the beast. It was rather large and spider looking, with several disgusting sets of beady eyes and a long slithering tough that dripped of something purple. So geralt was right, the creature lurking here was a visser. (Completely made it up on the spot) They're claws are sharp and quick but it's the tongue you have to watch our for. One jab, although not fatal can leave a man in bed for days from pain. 2 jabs in the same place? then your a goner. And the visser is known to be smarter, he distracts with claws and jabs quickly before you can even blink.

You knew you should probably yell for your companions. There was a chance they could hear you. But that very second you thought of yennefer and how she would be able to take on a monster like this.

That made up your mind...this monster was going to be your kill... youd finish this off and prove that you had gotten stronger if it's the last thing you do.

Although that would kind of defeat the purpose...

"Urgh" you landed roughly on the ground, one of its claws managed to swipe at you.

"Ok no more misses nice gal" regainging your stance, the glint of the moon shone on your opponent. With a visser you had a few options. Option 1, go for the head which kills instantly but the risk of a jab is highest.

Option 2 is cut off all the legs quickly then send your sword through the head. But if it dodges... you're dead meat.

Option 3, try to get under the beast where its tongue cant reach you and strike upwards. With your small stature option 3 sounded the smartest. You just had to move fast enough where it wouldnt be able to see you for a split second.

Alright y/n dont let your training go to waste! This is your chance to prove yourself.

Running faster than you've ever ran before, you circled around the visser waiting for when the creature was even a second slow and could not see you. The right moment was.....

Now! You sprinted forward and slid under its legs.

"Scrawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachh" the monster howled in pain as you slammed your sword directly up getting covered in visser guts in the process.

"Blegh how disgusting.." you swiped the guts off your face and stood in front of the slain beast.

For once in a long time you felt proud of yourself. You slayed a monster all by yourself, even Geralt said you hadn't been ready yet and often told you to stay back during fights. But he would have to eat up his words now hehe. You could just imagine everyone's faces when you would tell them.

You were too wrapped up in your glory to notice a second visser sneaking up behind you.

By the time you heard its screech, it was too late. Its slimy black tongue had struck your stomach leaving a sizzling pain behind it.

"FUCK" unsheathing your sword again, you tried to maneuver far enough out of its reach to thing of a plan. There was no way you could pull on option 3 again with the way your core burned. One more jab and it would be over. Damn it! why couldn't you just have your victory and be done with it!

One hand clutched at your injury while the other was positioned weakly in front of you. Your eyes blurred slights but you refused to let this shit swamp be your final resting place.

The burning subsided to an ache and you used that opportunity to make a mad dash into the thicket. You needed to think of a plan and quick, it would not take long for the visser to catch up with you, especially now that you had that stupid injury.

"Srawwwwwwwwwch" it sounded like it was right behind you. Fuck fuck fuck.

And then because mother nature decided to be a BITCH, you tripped on a large tree root and tumbled forward.

"Scraeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech" you flipped over quickly and shut your eyes as the visser was basically on top of you. 3 more seconds and you would be dead.

3, how pathetic y/n, after all these promises you made to yourself about becoming someone worth being proud of you fuck up the one chance you had.

2, maybe it's better this way, would anyone even miss you? Jaskier would, maybe he would even write a song about you..

1, I'm sorry I was an idiot...Geralt I'll watch over you...

"SWOOOOOOOOSH" the unmistakable sweet sound of metal slicing through flesh made your eyes shoot wide open.

"Geralt!" He stood out of breath hovering over the now beheaded visser. His sharp golden eyes moved from the beast, to you.

Without a word he reached over and pulled you up without a hint of gentleness. You hid your wince at the sudden movement. Not wanting to let anyone know that the visser had gotten the better of you.

"What happened" he bit out slowly. Fuck he was angry. "Why did you leave camp y/n when I explicitly told you not to" his feline eyes bore into yours and suddenly you felt too intimated and looked away.

Ah yes what excuse will I come up with now. Sorry Geralt I had to leave because I felt immense pressure and heartache seeing you and Yennefer over there locking lips and most passionately I might add.

When he noticed my hesitation he let out a growl, "Hmm, don't lie to me"

Fuuuuuuuuuck...

"I-I didnt mean to, really... I couldn't sleep so I was walking close to camp and I didnt even realize I had wandered so far until the other visser attacked." You looked him in the eyes knowing it would better your chances of him believing it.

He stared at you a few more seconds before letting out a sigh.

" You killed it" he said bluntly, and softer than before.

"I did.." you couldn't help the small smile that formed on your face. He sighed again, this time he had a small smirk on his face, "Well I guess you have learnt some things after all" he patted your shoulder but pulled away when Yennefer and Jaskier appeared.

"Y/n thank god your alive, are you alright?!" Jaskier grabbed your shoulders and scanned you for injuries. Luckily your stomach was covered by your armor, visser Jabs were known for hurting like hell at first, seeming to get better shortly after, then coming back tenfold. Right now you were at stage two, the calm before the storm..

Yennefer made a comment about how impressive you were to slay the visser and you hated yourself for still feeling ill towards her. She was a great person and you could not blame Geralt for liking her. It was just an unfortunate situation.

The walk back was quiet and the second you were in your tent again you dared to take a look at the wound. Gingerly you unbuckled your armor and lifted up your shirt.

You let out a small sigh of relief. It just looked like a large bruise. Nothing you couldn't pass off as a "I fell off roach" kinda injury.

As positive as you tried to be, you knew the worst was yet to come. But by god you were not about to let your victory be ruined by your companions knowing of this. Especially since Yennefer and Geralt could've slain the beast without a scratch.

Somehow you were lucky and slept the rest of the night in peace. It was early when jaskier came to wake you. Although you slept plenty, you felt just as exausted as you did after your late night encounter.

Before putting on your armor, you dared to look at the wound again. You regretted it the moment you did.

Fuck me... the bruise was much darker than before and covered a larger area. As for the pain, it felt only slightly more sore which was good for now. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to find out about it.

Quickly you threw togther the rest of your things and met the others. According to the village leader there was one more visser out there so we continued our search deeper into the forest. It was around noon when the pain intensified. It started as a constant dull ache but gradually became a burning sensation. It was becoming harder to hide it.

You made up some excuse to the group and sat on top of roach. You were sure if you had to walk anymore you would have fallen over. Luckily for awhile jaskier was more preoccupied with his latest ballad and geralt and yen were wrapped up in some serious conversation. You didnt realize how far you were lagging behind until jaskier turned to you.

"Y/n?" He walked over to you and pulled on roaches reigns making him go a little faster.

"Hm" was all you could manage.

"Are you alright? You're sweating so much"

Confused you ran a hand over your head. He was right, you were and didnt even feel it.

"Yo- sic- rest-" what? Why was Jaskier talking gibberish...and why is he so blurry?

You didnt even feel yourself pitching to the side, just the woosh of air through your ears.

"Y/N!? Y/N what's wrong?!?!" Jaskier barely managed to catch your half conscious form. "GERALT!" The witcher swung around sword at the ready but widened his eyes in shock at what he saw.

Y/n was on the floor, breathing heavily and being propped up by Jaskier.

Geralt and Yennefer quickly ran over. The witchers eyes narrowed in concern when he saw the state of her. She was sweating profusely and looked to be struggling with something. Yennefer raised a hand to her forehead but shook her head. "Its not a fever".

Geralt held her up, lightly smacking her face, he grew even more worried when she didnt react.

"Jaskier what happened"

"I don't know, I noticed she was falling behind so I went to check on her, then I noticed she looked sick, I was telling her we should stop and rest but then she just collapsed. She seemed really out of it too.

At that moment a grunt of pain escaped y/n's lips, and her eyes slowly opened.

You were confused as to why when you opened your eyes, gerald's golden ones were staring at yours with intense concern.

"Y/n can you hear me??" he questioned furrowing his brows.

"I-I ahhhgh" you screwed your eyes shut as the pain intensified. It felt like someone had set your stomach on fire.

This only confused geralt more, "you're hurt" he said as more of a statement.

"Where is the pain y/n," the gentle voice of yennefer surrounded you. Ugh why couldn't she just be a bitch, it would make things so much easier.

You tried speaking but a moan left your lips instead. Fuck this hurt worse than anything you had encountered before.

Geralt closed his eyes as if he had a sudden realization, "you got hit by the visser didnt you"

When you didnt speak but he saw the look in your eyes he knew it was true. "Fuck".

Quickly he began removing your armor and saw the injury peeking from under your shirt. He wasted no time lifting it up just until below your chest. You heard small gasps but were too out of it to know from who.

"Fuck y/n, why didn't you say anything??" Geralt scolded as he examined the wound.

Luckily you didnt have to answer, just focus on breathing heavily.

"Will she be alright?!" The frantic voice of jaskier floated through your ears.

"It would have been better if she told us from the beginning, with a visser attack you need to stay still as much as you can. However by the looks of it she only got hit once, which means she still has a chance."

"What can we do?" Was it yennefer or jaskier who said that?

Geralt pulled a sack from roach and rummaged through it till he pulled out a yellowish filled bottle.

Lifting y/n with one arm he pulled the cork with his teeth and gently placed it between her lips. "Drink y/n" without a second thought you downed the strange liquid coughing as it burned your throat like liquor.

"What is that?" Jaskier asked curiously.

" it's for the pain, it'll make her feel like shes dreaming." Geralt threw her armor onto roach and lifted her up carefully into his arms. "Let's go" he ordered and the troup was once again on their way. Geralt gave one look at the now sleeping y/n and sighed. What was she thinking?

***************************

When you opened your eyes the first thing you did was let out a girlish laugh.

Geralt was surprised for a moment since you had been silently resting in his arms for a long time. "Y/n?"

"Geralt! You've dyed your hair pink! How adorable!" You reached up and pulled at the cotton soft locks.

The witcher sighed, knowing this was the effect of the medicine. Jaskier and yennefer let out a small laugh at the scene of the two.

"Go back to sleep y/n, you need rest" he commanded softly.

"GERALT!" you suddenly exclaimed! "Oh no you cant be the white wolf anymore! Oh no oh no oh no WAIT I GOT IT! YOU CAN BE THE PINK PONY! QUICK JASKIER WRITE THIS DOWN!!"

"Ah yes the witcher, pink pony of the north, has a nice ring to it" jaskier couldn't contain his laughter.

Geralt decide it best to ignore her and keep walking forward.

"Geralt?" He chose to ignore her again. "Geralt....?"

"Gerrrrrallllllt?"

"GERALT!"

"Geralt geralt geralt geralt geralt geralt"

"What?!" He bit out annoyed.

"Do you think I'm pretty? hehe" he was caught off guard and was not sure how to answer. It didnt help the other two were just giggling behind him.

"I um....yeah" he said awkwardly.

"So I dont look like a troll?" You asked earnestly.

"Pfft what?" Now geralt was the one who couldn't control his laughter.

"Don't laugh!" You suddenly pouted. "A long time ago one of my lovers said I looked like a troll when he broke up with me.."

Still amused geralt shifted you to meet his eyes, "No y/n, you do not look like a troll"

"Phew thank god, I dont know what I would have done..." you laid a hand against your head dramatically.

"Now will you please stop squirming and go back to sleep" geralt sighed out.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm......alright I've decided to go to sleep since I need sleep and it's what I have decided" you saluted the air.

"Finally.." he grumbled.

With a smile you reached both arms around his neck and brought your soft lips to his unshaven cheek.

"Goodnight pinky, sweet creams" he was shocked for a moment then let out an exasperated laugh.

"Goodnight y/n...sweet creams"

******************

To be continued in part 2!

[jujulebee]

[private]

first off im a vampire and that shld just b known 2 u now if u didnt already fig it out and like im not even like a good vampire im the like worst at being a vampire i dont have fangs i go out in the sun i dont like want to hurt people and i try my best to be a good person and im terrified of vampires and my dad was an awful man and hes dead now but like he was awful and he continues to haunt me but not in a literal sense and like oh by the way ghosts are real thats cool totally great its not like thats one of my few phobias that i have and im trying to get over that because some ghosts are really neat and cool im sure but i just want to cry but thats not the biggest issue right now i feel like i cant even leave my house because who knows how many people out there would hurt me you know like theres so many vampires that i dont know personally its not like i can clock a vampire immediately and like what if i get hurt or something like what if they use some kinda freaky powers on me and make me do terrible things or what if i just do the terrible things because im easily manipulated by people i trust to do things i wouldnt normally do and what if im followed home and they hurt lily and what other kind of fucked up awful things are out there what about normal human people those can also be awful everything out there is out there to potentially hurt me and i know it i can feel it and i dont know how to trust anyone and it fuckin sucks because like im going to be around forever like forever forever and like how am i supposed to live like that im going to go insane im going to go absolutely insane because im not going to be able to leave my house and im going to lose it im gonna cry im not going to cry im totally fine im fine its fine im so fine im okay no im not i shouldnt lie about that im not supposed to lie about that and im light headed and i just i keep having these awful nightmares pa and its always my fault that everyone gets hurt that the end of the world happens its my fault in every single one and i dont know how to handle it and im still having nightmares about my dad even though hes dead and hes dead and never coming back and what do i do what do i do i he was just a horrible person a wretched fucked up evil man and im glad hes dead does that make me a monster? am i just as bad for being happy hes gone??? he doesnt feel gone auuGUUGH pa what do i do im gonna like cry theres so much going on and i dont feel safe unless im right here where i am in my fuckin compound of a house

You don't need your pa?

[leafy-wings]

honestly from my recent reread of darkstalker, arctic is just... horrible. he spends the entire book thinking gross prejudiced stuff about nightwings and then magically brainwashes his daughter out of being autistic so he can sell her off for marriage and help his mom wipe out the nightwing tribe :/ it's super gross, alongside him just being an abusive asshole. i think he's an interesting character though, and a good parallel to darkstalker

yeah, i really like arctic as trying to drive forward the point of “being sad isnt excuse to be horrible and abusive”. like i know people want to think arctic is worse for abusing his children but id hazhard to call darkstalkers manipulation and guilttripping of clearsight abuse also. and abuse isnt a competition

again its hard for me to approach the division between tribes because it IS war. preferably they wouldnt be fighting but unless they can scrap the monarchy tribes will always be at odds with each other and if they were friendly with each other than there would be no point to have tribal divisions in the first place. arctics treatment towards whiteout is horrible with the mindwashing, but i do think its funny that darkstalker then mindwashes arctic to do what he wants and people are like but when he does it this time its good! in the same way that they say when the kids turn darkstalker into a baby is bad but its not bad when darkstalker tried to turn indigo into wood. theres so many parallels where people think that the same situation is better or worse because of the situations at hand, which IS a factor but i just dont see the difference.

i do want to consider that arctic did love foeslayer at least once, even if it was stupid; the repression of both icewing and nightwing society resulting in flings is really interesting and believable. their love was doomed to fail but understandable to have started in the first place. and despite arctics threats, and he SHOULD NOT have been threatening in the first place, he didnt want to murder his children at least. and darkstalker did make the situation more miserable by hating his father for crimes he was going to commit in the future BECAUSE of how darkstalker was acting in the present, i know people like to see it as like. just rebellion by an abused child and i do think abused people deserve to be able to murder their abuser but its like. [hands someone a knife and tells them to stab you] [kills them because you knew that they were going to stab you]

i am “sympathetic” to arctic in that i understand why he is the way he is more than i understand darkstalker, not that i dont understand darkstalker but am bewildered that people dont seem to understand darkstalker or arctic. obviously arctic is abusive and deserved to die and yadda yadda, am not saying i wouldnt fault darkstalker for killing arctic even so cruelly but that people looove gray characters who are understandable and sad until its arctic and its like. how is he different? just kind of being devils advocate about it

again though child abuse is different i suppose, and itd be bad if i was saying anything that arctic did was good or, like, necessary. i must emphasize that darkstalker and arctic are not real. its worse to hurt those that you are supposed to unconditionally care for, but i have trouble conceptualizing it. i feel like a lot of people sympathize with arctics abuse where i dont, despite having been raised in a similar abusive household. i think i just try not to think about my own trauma that i dont want to posulate on darkstalkers too much. i dont like thinking i deserve sympathy, and i like reasoning that the people who hurt me probably had a reason. so thats just on why im so emotionally distant from darkstalker but more intune with arctic; i think it might be hypocrisy though, but i dont like applying opinions on arctic to opinions on real world situations.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[flower-of-the-desert]

hey, i really liked your posts about ep12, it helped me a lot to put things into perspective. i was wondering if you could share your thoughts on the 2gether finale as well, coz right now i just wanna cry im so disappointed with it =(

Aww, thank you, anon. <3

Ok so my thoughts on the finale are kind of all over the place but I’ll try to explain as best as I can and hopefully it’s gonna make sense.

Like I said, in my original post I dont love the ep but I dont hate it either. I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle. I enjoyed a lot of it - seeing all the couples progress and be happy together, Man/Type especially were just so adorable, Mil and Phukong starting to build something with each other (lil bro using Sarawat’s pick up line was a really nice touch, love that), Mil being an all around awesome supportive friend to BOTH Tine and Wat?? We love to see it. The way he turned up at the football field where Wat was being his angsty self and literally kicked his butt into taking action - *chef’s kiss*

Him and Fong are now the parents of the baby gays I dont make the rules.

Wat’s confession on stage and his song that he literally named after Tine and when he said he never confessed to Pam because he didnt know what love was before he met Tine - perfection. Absolute perfection. I’m here for it.

And Tine’s heartbreak was so well done too, I just felt so much for him.

Again, as I said, the whole thing with Pam didnt turned out exactly as I had hoped but it wasnt the worst case scenario either so I’ll take it. I’d rather have Pam making a mistake and realising it and backing off while assuring Tine that Wat really does love HIM and even though she tried Pam didnt stand a chance because it’s always gonna be Tine for Sarawat and she understands that now over her being an actual bitch who keeps trying to seperate them and uses the situation to her advantage. I mean they could have gone that way too - Pam didnt have to give Tine that recording or to tell him how Wat changed after meeting him but she did, I think, as her own way of apologizing for what she’d done. So yeah, overall, I’m fine with this.

ALSO NOBODY DIED SO THAT’S A BIG PLUS.

(History 3 MODC can’t relate)

ANYWAY, so those are the positives for me. Which as it turns out is most of the episode yay! Now onto what wasnt quite so positive.

My main issue with this episode is the resolution to Wat and Tine’s conflict. Mainly, there really... wasnt one. And I’m not talking about the physical intimacy thing, I’ll touch on that later but more importantly for the ending - the emotional intimacy. None of the problems they had were properly addressed. Tine’s insecurities were rooted so deeply that despite Wat spending 12 EPISODES doing anything and everything to show his love and adoration, Tine still couldnt really believe it. And that’s not gonna be resolved with a simple recording.

And on the other hand, can you image how all of this would make Sarawat feel? Like no matter what he does, no matter how much of himself he gives to Tine, his boyfriend still would find it easier to believe that Wat is just using him as a replacement for someone else. That’s gonna fuck with his head even if Tine came back. I really really wished they had talked at least a little about these things.

Like maybe if we didnt have half of the episode filled with pointless flashbacks there could have been time to actually talk... (tbh, part of me kind of wonders if they purposefully put in so many flashbacks to fill in the air time so they wouldnt HAVE to write those scenes which leaves me ?????).

I think I mentioned this too in the other post, but the Wat/Tine reunion echoes beat for beat the Fighter/Tutor reunion with all its issues but while WhyRU has a reason for why things turned out like that, here I just... I dont know what could have been the reason for 2gether’s writers? Unless they also couldnt film everything they wanted...

And then there’s the... “high-five controversy”, let’s call it and again I find myself in the middle of the argument. I stand by what I’ve said before about how I feel about the way they handled physical intimacy between the characters - yes, objectively and critically speaking, I’m not here for writers/directors/channel/whoever trying to censor the physical intimacy of an established couple. There is nothing wrong with two partners wanting to kiss/cuddle/have sex/etc. Sex isnt something dirty (I mean it can be depending on what you’re writing BUT THAT’S A DIFFERENT GENRE OK, we are not talking about smutty fic here cough cough) and shameful that “pure” people shouldnt be enjoying (lovely post on the topic here I was just thinking about it last night). And it’s about time show creators got with the programme, ESPECIALLY when it comes to non-straight couples.

As of ep13 it’s clear to me that 2gether went through some serious censorship - lots of people have talked about how it’s a thing that they do on this particular channel and maybe that’s all it is, I dont know. I dont want to speculate what’s been going on behind the scenes since I dont have any idea and sadly I dont think the writers will ever be willing to talk about it. I’d LOVE to hear their throughts on this matter tbh and why they decided to do things this way.

So on an objective level, this is bullshit. Subjectively, and this is where my personal opinion comes in, I wasnt as bothered by this as I normally would be because I’ve been enjoying all the other aspects of the relationship that the show successfully built up and prtrayed on screen. Does that make sense?

Specifically about the finale, though, I agree with the complains. Part of why the reunion felt so underwhelming and disappointing, I think, was not only the lack of emotional intimacy but also the hella.... awkward? physical “intimacy” they showed? The scene absolutely did call for a kiss or a hug, at the very least. Instead they were standing 2 feet apart cause... they’re not gay? I really really do not understand what happened there in that scene. I’ve seen some people mention that the finale was filmed before the other episodes so the actors werent used to each other yet and honestly I can see it - watching Tine and Wat in that ending montage felt like I was watching them at the beginning of their fake dating when both were awkward and unsure of where they stood with each other rather than seeing an established in love couple coming back together after going through something tough.

So these are my thoughts on the finale. It wasnt the best one I’ve ever seen but not bad enough to ruin the rest of the show for me (and there’s NOTHING I hate more than bad endings ruining a story I’ve fallen in love with so there’s that) and I do really love this show and its characters so much. It’s hard, even impossivle to find a perfect show from start to finish and honestly I’ve come to believe that’s not as important as what you get out of it - if the show makes you happy, despite whatever writing issues it might have, that’s the most important thing, I think. And 2gether did that for me. So I’m glad I watched it.

Omg, this got so long. Again. If you’re still with me, anon, you’re a hero. I hope I was able to help you. <3

[fortressclan]

Bidwell sighed, glancing over at the full moon. Its that time of the month again. Great.

The moon had just risen, the twolegplace blocking out the stars from the sky and leaving the moon as the only source of light. Bidwell was preparing to make the quick trip over to the clans, having just finished all the tasks he had to do for the day. All was left was to check up on the two rivalling clans, and he could retreat back to his den and take a rest. God did he want to rest.

Bidwell looked over to Saxton, who was close by with some cats he was chatting up. He was too far away to hear anyone but Saxton, who was being loud as usual. He was sure anyone in the area wasnt going to be able to sleep that night, if he continued his story for that long. Hopefully the cats he was talking to would keep him distracted enough so he wouldnt try and fight another kittypet or, god forbid, a twoleg again. Saxton managed to catch his assistant's gaze and grinned, a quick acknowledgement before he continued with his loud conversation. Bidwell nodded before turning around, beginning the trip over to the clans.

It didnt take too long thankfully. Bidwell hopped over the log at the entrance of Blueclan's camp, something he had learned early on that one of the mercenaries had put there in a sad attempt at defense. And which had successfully tripped him three times before he finally learned to jump over it. At least it was better than nothing, he supposed.

The camp itself was somewhat small. The cats had moved and redid the entire place, leaving four dens remaining. They had kept the medicine cat and warrior dens, and Bidwell had later learned that they actually had weaved the nursery into the warrior's den, leaving an odd dip in the ground inside the den from where the nursery was originally was. The leader's den was, of course, untouched, and a thick bramble wall was made over the entrance, a small gap left in the barrier for what Bidwell could only assume was how their leader got delivered food and water. Bidwell didnt want to ask where their leader made dirt though- he feared what the answer to that question would be. The last den was close to the medicine cat's, being for anyone with injuries or visitors. Pauling had told him it was added after a particularly rainy night kept her in the camp, and Baystep was kind enough to help make a quick shelter for her to stay the night. Before Bidwell had questioned why she didnt just stay in the warrior's den with the others, but after actually meeting them, he quickly understood.

Immediately upon entering he spotted a gaggle of the mercenaries by one of the dens, some of them sharing a rabbit. He struggled to remember their names sometimes, since their leaders had decided to rename them all as a sign of welcoming and he had only knew them as their loner names. He managed to overhear their conversation and quickly put faces to names- Heavyclaw, Scorchleap, Hawkslash, and Baystep. He struggled for a few seconds with the last tom, since one of the cats kept naming him 'Berrytooth' for some reason, but after watching Heavyclaw gently hit him with a paw and correct him, he managed to remember Houndsnap's name. Bidwell offered little other than a quick nod to the group to acknowledge they existed, before heading to the medicine cat's den. The smells of herbs, flowers, and a scent Bidwell's mind immediately told him was blood flooded his nose, almost being too much for him. He spotted Bloodspeckle sitting down and pointing at something red and suspiciously meaty looking, with Firecrackle listening with wide eyes. "And you see, this is the hea- oh! Hello, Bidvell!" The medicine cat greeted, a few too many red spots on him for Bidwell to blissfully ignore. Firecrackle chirped a greeting as well, and Bidwell quickly nodded a hello before immediately backing away from the scene. That left two cats left, unless one of them was unfortunate enough to have been reduced to whatever Bloodspeckle was showing Firecrackle.

After investigating the two other dens and ruling out the leader's den as where the two were hidden, Bidwell decided desperate times required desperate measures. The gaggle of cats had mostly spread out, and Bidwell slowly gravitated towards the two ginger toms, Baystep and Heavyclaw. The paler of the two, Baystep, paused his conversation as soon as Bidwell approached, tipping his head in greeting. Heavyclaw paused to read Bidwell's expression, before his ears perked. "Little man has question?" He asked, with a slight tilt of his head and curiousity in his expression. Baystep chimmed in as well, adding "Feel free to ask us anything, partner. We'd be glad to help". Bidwell nodded, glancing around almost nervously. "Yeah, right, thank you. Uh, would any of you happen to know where the others are?" He asked, trying to remember their names. "Rushwing and..." He waved a paw, trying to remember what new name the other had gotten. "Raccoonheart?" Baystep supplied, and Bidwell nodded. "Yes, him. Them. Both of them." Baystep glanced at Heavyclaw, apparently thinking. "I thought i saw Raccoonheart hunting earlier, and i aint too sure where the kid is." He responded, and Heavyclaw slowly nodded, turning his head over to where Houndsnap and Scorchleap were. "Do Hound and Scorch know where little apprentice went?" He asked, and both cats shook their head. Bidwell watched as Scorchleap went and asked Bloodspeckle and Firecrackle, and groaned as he came back and reported they had no clue, either.

"How did you manage to lose an entire cat?" Bidwell sighed, lowering his head and debating hitting it against the ground as a sign of frustration. Maybe he would manage to knock himself out and wake up back in his den like this was a bad dream. "Dont worry, the little ankle-biter will show up sooner or later. Or you'll hear him yabbing on about something or other." Hawkslash reassured Bidwell, which did little to help actually reassure him. Bidwell nodded anyways, before deciding what to do. "I'll return later." He said to none of the cats in particular, raising his head up. "He cant be too far, and its quicker than waiting, at least." Some of the cats dipped and nodded their heads, leaving Bidwell to leave camp to wander around and hopefully find the missing speedy tom.

Fortunately, that didnt take too long. The smells of the twolegplace had clogged his nose enough for him to be utterly useless at tracking, but Rushwing didnt seem to be the one to be sneaky in any sense. Whenever Bidwell lost the scent, there was normally a broken branch or obviously moved fern that he could follow and use to pick it up again. It took barely ten minutes for him to find out where Rushwing was, counting the two times he had mistakenly followed the wrong trail. The area Rushwing was in looked to have been a long abandoned training clearing, with a soft and sandy ground that would've been perfect to practice on. It was padded down slightly from use, and Bidwell was able to see some spots where paw prints had been worn down into the ground. Rushwing himself was hitting a clawed up tree that jutted out into the training area a bit, hopping and dodging about for practice. It didnt seem like Rushwing had noticed Bidwell, and while he could leave now that he knew the other hadnt gotten himself killed, something told him to sit down and watch for a few seconds. It wasnt everyday he got to see someone fight. Someone that wasnt Saxton, that is.

Bidwell got caught pretty quickly, Rushwing having paused to lick his paw after accidentally actually hitting the tree with his paw pad. Rushwing stared at Bidwell for a second, tongue sticking out against his paw, before smiling. "Oh hey, prissy pelt!" He greeted, quickly licking his paw before setting it down. "Any reason youre sittin' there watchin' me?" Rushwing asked, and Bidwell shook his head. "No, none at all." "Well, cause, y'know i was just warming up. Normally i fight foxes. Reaaaal big ones." Bidwell raised his non existent eyebrows, sensing the conversation veering directly into bragging territory. "I mean like, even bigger than me! And you, obviously." Bidwell had little idea how to respond without fueling the fire, so he just nodded and let Rushwing continue. Maybe he could sneak away while Rushwing was talking? "I even fought a badger once! Real big guy, tough too! I think it was a guy. I didnt ask. Anyways, me and Scorchleap, this was before you and Pauling and everyone else stuck their noses into our lives, no offense, we had to fight it! And we, well, we were the only ones left in the clan, but that was alright! We won anyways, and-" Rushwing paused, bending awkwardly to get to the back of his front leg, shoving a bit of fur out of the side. His fur had hidden them, but Rushwing had a few scars on his leg which Bidwell recognized as teeth marks. Bidwell had never seen a badger, or a fox for that matter, but a quick run over of his teeth with his tongue informed him that, for once, Rushwing was probably not lying or exaggerating the story. "I got this! The badger bit my leg and tried throwing me, but it didnt let go, and i got dizzy and my head kinda hurt. Scorchleap smacked it right in its ugly face and it dropped me, and we both chased if off!" Rushwing smiled, clearly proud of his scar as he sat properly again, licking his fur down and over the scars again.

Bidwell opened his mouth, instinct kicking in with the normal 'you did great, sir' he would give Saxton for the latest fight he had, but quickly stopped that train of thought before it left his mouth. Bidwell opened it again to ask about the badger, before Rushwing continued. "I mean, it probably aint much to what's in the twolegplace. The other guys keep goin' on and on about how harsh and bad that place is. You gotta have some scars too, right? C'mon, spill it!" Rushwing got up, circling Bidwell excitedly as if to search for any scars he had under his long fur. "I, uh, i dont have any." Bidwell admitted, craning his head around to keep his eye on Rushwing. "Im not a fighter. I just work for Saxton, unlike Pauling. She's most likely the one with the good stories." He said as Rushwing finished his circling, looking rather disappointed. "Well you have to know somethin'! Aint there big monsters and twolegs there? Dont you, like, fight 'em?" Bidwell shook his head, and Rushwing groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. He sat down, going silent for a few seconds, before immediately perking up. "I know! Fancy paws, get up." Rushwing nearly commanded, getting a flat stare from Bidwell. Bidwell hesitantly got up, unsure to where this was going. Rushwing scurried to the other side of the training clearing, before getting down into a crouch with an excited grin. "What are you doing?" Bidwell asked in the same tone he used on kits, rowdy apprentices, and, occasionally, Saxton. "Pretendin' youre a fox." Rushwing answered, and before Bidwell could ask what that even meant, Rushwing was suddenly charging at him at a surprising speed. Bidwell's first reaction was to scramble away, but it seemed Rushwing had planned for that. As Bidwell ran, Rushwing leaped and landed directly in Bidwell's path, whipping around and striking a paw out.

Bidwell froze and closed his eyes, expecting the hot flash of pain, but was instead met with a light twap as Rushwing rather gently hit him with a sheathed claw. Bidwell opened one eye, then the other, watching with defeat as Rushwing hit his face like a kitten playing with yarn. "By starclan, you would not survive in the wild." Rushwing said, clearly amused and trying not to laugh. "I said i wasnt a fighter..." Bidwell exhaled, sitting and slowly calming down, licking flat some fur that had risen up from the short lived conflict. "I didnt think you were that bad!" Rushwing defended himself, sitting down as well. "I mean, even Bloodspeckle is better than that! I dont think he has any self preser-whatsit, but you didnt even fight! You just ran!" Bidwell didnt really know how to react, since everything Rushwing was saying was true, staying silent instead of repeating the 'im not a fighter' line again. "Ok ok, alright, listen. Next time i do that, run forwards. Not away, towards. Got it?" Bidwell was about to ask what 'next time' was suggesting, before Rushwing went back over to the other side of the training clearing again. Oh lord. Bidwell debated his options, before deciding that this was the best practice he was going to get. He got up, much to what seemed like surprise and genuine happiness on Rushwing's face, getting back to around where he was before. "Ready?" Rushwing asked, and Bidwell tentatively nodded. Rushwing began charging once again, and Bidwell's instincts screamed at him to run away, to escape the danger. He grounded himself, trying his best to ignore it, and once he saw Rushwing's hind paws bunch up in preparation to jump, he ran forward. Rushwing left the ground as Bidwell left little but dust and sand where he was standing, and the long fur tom was surprised when he ran right under Rushwing, landing in his paws hard to turn his head around and watch Rushwing land. Something clicked in Bidwell, and he began charging right at Rushwing. The tom looked over with a almost proud grin that made Bidwell only feel a little bad as he sped towards him, and the expression was quickly replaced with surprise as Bidwell slammed his front paws into his shoulder. The force knocked the unsuspecting warrior over, with Bidwell following after with little clue on how to roll along with the fall. The two were silent for a second, with Rushwing trying to process what happened and Bidwell silently proud of what he had done, before Rushwing let out a small laugh, still on the ground. Bidwell smiled, slowly joining in with the laugh at what he had just done. The two stayed on the ground like that for a few seconds, before their laughter died down as the rustling of leaves alerted them to a newcomer.

"Are you two done playing like kits?" Raccoonheart asked, setting down a warm rabbit, most likely recently caught. Bidwell immediately got up, shaking his fur and getting any sand stuck to him off. Rushwing raised his head but didnt get up, glaring at Raccoonheart. "We were trainin'! Which is more than you seem to be doin'. Doesnt Baystep get us enough food?" Rushwing grumbled, nodding to the rabbit. "Bluestar specifically requested for a rabbit, according to Bloodspeckle. Now leave Bidwell alone and let him do his actual work." Raccoonheart replied, picking up his rabbit and retreating into the bushes. Rushwing stuck his tongue out as the tom left, grumbling to himself once he was out of sight. "Raccoonheart is right." Bidwell admitted, feeling somewhat disappointed. "I should go back to my work. I still have to make sure Redclan is in order." Rushwing got up, shaking his fur with a sigh. "Yeah, i thought so." He nodded, looking almost as disappointed as Bidwell felt. Bidwell turned to depart, before Rushwing caused him to pause. "Hey, uh, stay safe." Rushwing said, his tone somewhat cautious, and almost nervous. "Kind of want to beat you up again, y'know?" Bidwell looked at Rushwing, who seemed a bit uncomfortable at the attempt of being genuine. He smiled at the tom, nodding. "I'll... Yeah, it was fun. Ill try not to die or anything." Bidwell agreed. "Yeah, yeah! Thanks. For, uh, not dying. In advance." Bidwell smiled at that before breathing out, turning around, and leaving into the forest. The small training had hurt his paws and the side he had landed on slightly, but Bidwell didnt really seem to mind as he began walking away. Maybe Saxton was right. Maybe a good fight was something he needed. Or maybe all he needed just a good laugh.

[marshmallow-phd]

Charming Instruction

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

**

Junmyeon didn’t lead you too far into the woods. He stuck to the tree line, pulling you in close once he was leaning up against a sizable trunk that kept you somewhat hidden from the house. Hands resting on your hips, he leaned his forehead on yours and sighed deeply.

You could tell he was still stressing over the meeting. Perhaps he was expecting more concern and questioning from the pack rather than the nonchalant reception that was bestowed upon him instead. While you didn’t know the boys all that well, they all seemed to give off that carefree vibe, which was possibly be the bane of Junmyeon’s existence, if you had to guess. But that probably just came with the territory of being a leader. And being the mate of the leader, you figured it was your job to help him stop worrying.

“Just give them a little time,” you reassured him as you rubbed his arms. “Soon, they’ll take it more seriously. It’s just because the information is so vague at this time, they don’t know what to be cautious of. So, they blow it off rather than stressing about something they have no control over.”

Junmyeon pouted, squeezing your sides. “Then why am I stressing about it?”

“Well, I don’t know too much about werewolf pack dynamics….” You scrunched your face mischievously, “But I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that you’re the leader and it’s kind of your job to worry over every little thing.”

“I do not worry about every little thing,” he protested.

This was coming from the same person who didn’t tell you the truth about the connection between the two of you because he was overthinking on whether or not you would hightail it out of here and leave him in the dust. Granted, you didn’t give him much hope for any other outcome, but still.

You held your thumb and index finger up, leaving a minuscule amount of space in between. “You do. Just a little bit.”

Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it, sighing heavily. “Okay. Maybe a little. But someone has to worry about these things or else we’ll all be doomed.”

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing that you’re the leader instead of one of the others.”

He let out a short laugh. “Well, me and Kris. And it was nice that he-”

A little over the current discussion, you simply pressed your lips against Junmyeon’s for a quick kiss to stop his talking. Well, it was supposed to be a quick kiss.

Catching the back of your neck with his hand before you could pull away, Junmyeon deepened the display of affection, taking full advantage of the isolation. Under your palms that were resting on his chest, you could feel his content purr vibrating both you and him. The sensation made you giggle. Junmyeon broke off the kiss at the sound.

“What’s so funny?” he murmured, frowning at you.

“You’re like a cat,” you chuckled. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

Junmyeon scoffed, the corners of his mouth turning up in astonishment. His eyes turned back to you, “Do you realize how insulting that is?”

“Um, sorry?” you snorted. He did not find it as funny. “It’s not my fault! You were purring!”

“I was happy! I can’t control it!” he whined.

You rolled your eyes. “I was just saying that it was cute!”

“Hardly the word I want to hear in the middle of kissing you,” he grumbled.

Stepping back, you crossed your arms, just staring at him. He kept pouting, just making him even cuter.

It was ridiculous. The big alpha wolf wanted to be seen as anything but cute. But he made it hard with that fluffy brown hair, puckered lips, and big, round brown eyes gazing at you. You almost wanted to snap a picture of it, but that didn’t feel appropriate in the moment. Honestly, it felt silly, him taking offense to that four letter word, but it wasn’t worth starting an argument.

You threw your hands up. “Okay. Fine. I won’t call you cute anymore. Never again. I will purge that word from my vocabulary unless I’m talking about a puppy or small child.”

Junmyeon’s eyebrows shot up to nearly his hairline. “I didn’t say that.”

Narrowing your eyes and smirking, you teased, “So, you do want me to call you cute?”

He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t mind it under certain circumstances. Just not when I’m kissing you. Because that makes me want to show you exactly how not ‘cute’ I can be.”

Now that kind of had you taken back. “Are you sure you’re a college professor? Because you are acting a bit more more like a college boy right now.”

With a predatory gleam in those russet eyes, Junmyeon stalked towards you. Instinctively, you stumbled back until your back hit a tree, the curved edges of the bark piercing your shoulder blades.

Your breath quicken and you couldn’t stop the audible gulp in your throat from how much like a wolf he being. That reaction seemed to just egg Junmyeon on. He didn’t stop until the space between you was completely gone, a hand on each side of your hip to keep you in place. His lips were right against your ear as he whispered, “I’m only a professor on campus.”

Oh, that’s not good.

Junmyeon nibbled at your ear before moving down to your neck. You giggled anxiously. He’d never gone this far before. What really made you nervous was the fact that you didn’t want to stop.

“Junmyeon! Junmyeon, are you out here?!”

Junmyeon growled, slamming a fist into the bark above your head. “Oh, for crying out loud.”

You snorted, covering your mouth when Junmyeon shot you a look.

Chanyeol and Jongin came running through the trees. You straightened up, hoping that there was no evidence of what you and Junmyeon were doing left on your face.

“What is it?” Junmyeon asked grumpily. You could tell he was trying to remain calm and not be irritated at the boys in case it was a real emergency.

“Sorry to barge in,” Jongin actually looked really guilty, which made you want this whole thing end even quicker, “but no one can find Tao. Did he run past here?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, we haven’t. Why?”

“No one can find him,” Chanyeol explained. “He stormed off after the meeting. He seemed really pissed.”

“That’s not good.” Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair before glancing at you. Turning back to the other wolves, he asked, “Did you see what direction he took off in?”

“He went out the front door,” Jongin replied.  

“So, you think he went into town?” Junmyeon guessed.

Chanyeol shrugged. “Maybe? And you know Tao when he’s mad. He doesn’t really have the best control.”

“Alright.”

You could see how reluctant Junmyeon was to be the leader, to go after his wayward member, but it was an instinct that he couldn’t ignore.

“I guess I’ll go track him down,” Junmyeon sighed.

“I need to go back into town anyway,” you inserted. Maybe if you were the one to take him, he’d be less pouty about it.

“Luhan wants to go with you,” Chanyeol added. “Said if anything, he can drag Tao to the empty bar while he does opening work.”

Junmyeon nodded. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

The four of you headed inside, grabbing Luhan before splitting off and going back outside to your car.

It wasn’t a very chatty car ride. Luhan stayed quiet in the back seat while Junmyeon held your hand from the passenger’s seat. He made random comments about the area’s history or how the road needed repaving every once in a while.

Apparently, Tao preferred to hang out downtown, so that’s where you dropped the two wolves off. You told Junmyeon that he could find you at the museum once he was done. When he questioned why you would go there, you simply shrugged and said to kill time.

That wasn’t entirely a lie. You really did like to spend free time at the museum, wandering around and trying to find new pieces to memorize.

But today you had a little mission.

Even though Junmyeon said he’d already gone through the little book of his family’s history, you thought that maybe a fresh pair of eyes could pick up some new clues.

Mrs. Kang wasn’t surprised to see you at all when she saw you in the main lobby. Junmyeon had told you earlier in the week that he had you added to the very limited list of people with access to the back room. Mrs. Kang handed you a key card with no hesitation and left you to go on your merry way. Getting a pair of cotton gloves from the supply closet, you buckled yourself down at the table in Junmyeon’s secret room after carefully taking out the book from its resting place.

You flipped through the pages slowly, gliding your eyes over the heavily faded words. Some paragraphs were almost completely illegible from the old ink wearing away with age. One particularly worn page caught your eye about halfway through the book. The edges were particularly feathered and torn, giving you the impression that this page’s contents were immensely important in the past. Almost all the writing was gone on the pages, but certain words you were able to make out.

Enemies.

Beware.

Hunted.

Future encounters.

Bingo.

At the very bottom of the page, underneath the missing information was a familiar looking symbol still present enough to make out. It was a circle overlapping three points. That could be the clue you were looking for in order to keep the pack - Junmyeon’s family - safe. But where did you take it from here?

Junmyeon came to the museum about forty-five minutes later, finding you in the “caveman” section, as Cam liked to describe it.

“Finding anything new and interesting?” he teased as he came up behind you, encircling his arms around your waist.

You shrugged lazily. “Perhaps. Did you find Tao?”

Junmyeon scoffed. “Yeah, he’s been found. But he’d ran off in the forest, not to town. Apparently, he just ran in a different direction than where we were.”

“Poor leader.” You turned around in his arms, linking your own around his neck. “It’s so hard being you.”

That just made him roll his eyes. “You’re so mean to me.”

You motioned to exit with your head. “Come on. Since I’m so mean, dinner’s on me.”

Junmyeon made his impressed face, the kind he made when a student in class gave him an answer he wasn’t expecting. “I like that idea. And I think I know just the place.”

**

Triquetragirl49: I’m glad that the new article helped!

Archaeology4life: It was a great read! Thank you!

Triquetragirl49: How’s the paper coming?

Archaeology4life: Not too bad! Teacher’s a hardass, though. Lol

Triquetragirl49: Well, hopefully he’ll at least enjoy your paper on irish werewolves.

Archaeology4life: Fingers crossed! If I don’t get an A, I might have to complain to the dean. Jk

Triquetragirl49: Remind me again why you were focusing on that subject?

Archaeology4life: I just came across something about werewolves and a connection to the triquetra in some research. I was surprised that they were both related to protection.

Triquetragirl49: Kind of related. Werewolves were still considered dangerous and best for everyone to stay away from them.

Triquetragirl49: At least, according to the legends, that is. Considering they’re not real!

Archaeology4life: I’m sure if wolves were real, they wouldn’t be dangerous.

Triquetragirl49: You never know. There’s a lot of scary stories out there lol.

Archaeology4life: Yeah… you’re right lol

Archaeology4life: Thank you again!

Triquetragirl49: Of course! Just let me know if you want to know anything else! I’ve enjoyed talking to you!

Archaeology4life: Same!

“What are you smiling at?”

You slammed the screen of your laptop shut just as Junmyeon slid into the empty space across from you in the breakfast booth. Since he had a department meeting this evening, you’d beaten him to the farmhouse and decided to kill some time by getting back in touch with your new internet friend.

Finding triquetagirl49 in a folklore chat room on a history website had been pure luck and she’d giving you so much information on how that old celtic symbol could be related to werewolves. It seemed more like a good thing, representing protection for both humans and wolves alike. You weren’t sure when you should share this information with Junmyeon or exactly how to present it, so you decided for now to just keep it to yourself for the time being.

“Funny article on The Mummy trilogy,” you lied smoothly.

He shook his head, laughing to himself. “You and those movies. Don’t you have them memorized by now?”

“Maybe,” you pouted. “We can watch something else, though, if you want. Or do something else. We don’t have to watch a movie.”

Junmyeon held out two hands, moving them up and down like a pair of scales. “Let’s see… hold my mate close on my bed while we watch her favorite movie or do something else that involves less intimate time and possibly run into someone else in the pack.” He gave you a pointed look. “I think movie wins.”

You beamed. “Good!” Hopping up, you started for the staircase. “Let’s go!”

Junmyeon laughed as he followed you up to his bedroom. By luck, a majority of the wolves were out and about with their mates on this beautiful friday night. Since you and your wolf still had to be careful about who saw you together, it was a night in for the pair of you. But you didn’t mind. In fact, you had been looking forward to it all week.

Jumping on the bed, you pushed yourself all the way up to the headboard while Junmyeon turned on the TV and readied the movie before heading into the bathroom. While you waited on him, you fluffed up the pillows to make yourself more comfortable.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you tried to keep your focus on the bright screen. Junmyeon had decided that it was completely appropriate to come out in just a pair of sweatpants. Just sweatpants. No shirt.

He was such a tease.

You made no protest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close to him. Leaning your head on his chest, you watched the movie for a good fifteen minutes or so until the scene with Rachel Weisz in the museum, knocking over the bookshelves and creating that cringe-worthy disaster came on the screen.

That’s when Junmyeon got a little restless.

At first, he was just playing with your fingers and planting kisses on your shoulder. Then he moved his lips up to your neck, tickling the sensitive skin. Out of reflex, you flinched into the kiss, closing off access from Junmyeon.

“It’s cute that you know every word,” he whispered. It was obvious that he cared nothing for the movie and he was just trying to distract you and maybe even give him all your attention instead.

Taking the bait, you turned to tell him to be quiet. Before one word could escape your lips, he’d captured them in his own. You never saw another minute of the movie, too preoccupied to pay it any mind.

Oh, well. There was always next time and your wolf needed your special attention.