#the josh speech did make me laugh on first watch and then i was like... why

[idiotsinkdaisies]

(longer post) once again over analyzing network tv shows trying to recreate the high i felt when S8x06 "Confessions" first aired - the one scene that I never liked was the Josh Glee speech, but now looking back I have thoughts about the why/who of it all:

Josh comes in and the first few lines of dialogue are him saying "right, you're with Tommy. Unless there's another boy?" and Maddie replies with "There's another woman."

reading in, this is on the nose about bucktommy as a relationship not just being between buck and tommy!! There is a third person in that relationship - and this scene frames that third person as being Abby Clark.

(Third person as a disruption/source of conflict, not in a poly way.)

Regardless of how you feel about Abby, she was Buck's first real adult relationship and made him realize what he wants within one - he learned how to "step into the circle" and meet his partners where they are at with her - it was Abby and Patrica in S1, and Eddie and Chris in S2 onward.

he never steps into the circle with Tommy because that relationship never developed emotional depth

(IMO) Buck realizes that Tommy left Abby in a way that mirrors how she leaves him - a serious partner coming to terms with the fact that they have to leave you to find themself/do what is right for them. He's both emphasizing with Abby for being left, and realizing Tommy hurt her in a way that she hurt him. Buck jumps to a logical conclusion, very much an if A=B and B=C does A=C? Could Tommy hurt him?

Abby is less a third person in bucktommy and more so haunting the narrative with great hair, a well traveled passport, and her annotated copy of eat pray love.

Still, she's talked about and discussed a few times that episode (introduced during the bucktommy date as a conflict, at dispatch, then during the breakup scene.) So explicitly - is she why they break up? no... but is it a part of it... yes (?)

Is she the third person?

Bucktommy always had a third person!! And It is not Abby Clark!!

buck bothered and bewildered was like look! he's so jealous eddie has a new friend. and then 9-1-1 goes um actually he's jealous of the new friend :) obviously :)

even tommy replies to "I wanted your attention" with "my attention?" just for buck to go "I guess so."

buck lurks in the diaz home but eddie lurks in buck's relationships... who is the real #obsessive...

They never explicitly said that eddie diaz is the reason bucktommy struggles/falls flat as a relationship.. but there were signs for those with eyes to see ("bring eddie" "really?" "and die")

Back to the Josh scene - we get into this part I like a lot, which is what is right before he goes into the Glee bit:

It was scarier, more confusing, and not half as accepting. And so sometimes we did things to protect ourselves, things that we might not be proud of, that now look less noble.

The Glee part is.. a choice.. and as someone who watched Glee and would attribute Santana as part of my lesbian awakening and being amazed that they were allowed to have LGBT characters on screen.. I should have fully emphasized with Tommy. At face value it's a scene to make Tommy more relatable/empathetic/forgivable. Unfortunately for Tommy, i think he's at best uninteresting and at worst racist/misogynistic and the scene really didn't do anything to change my opinion for better or for worse.

So then there's a choice that was made - why have Josh give a speech about repression and the struggles queer characters have to Buck in the same episode where he breaks up with the boyfriend in question?

Buck (seemingly) is not going to have any internalized homophobia plot lines, so it is a good theme to introduce! Just because Buck had an "easy" sexuality realization where his queerness is not a point of angst, that does not mean other characters are going to have a simple one.

(we do see this with Micheal in S1 specifically - but if this is truly introducing a theme - it's a little late for it to be related to him)

Is there another character on 9-1-1 that might have battle scars related to sexuality, might have seen a scary confusing world that is not accepting and done things they're not proud of... who might have married a woman and lived as a heterosexual man for years...

in summary: it feels clumsy because they're talking about a "third person" haunting the bucktommy relationship and they have the wrong third person!! they talk about repression influencing a character's choices and they have the wrong character!!

will josh's speech be referenced/re-quoted in reference to Eddie i can only wonder ...

is this intentional or am i reading too far into things?? anyways.

[alchemistc]

Buck's halfway through his third cup of startlingly bad coffee when Josh pushes the door to the breakroom open, looking mildly concerned in the half second before someone else looms over his shoulder.

He's too numb to do much more than take another sip of coffee as he watches Josh usher Tommy in.

The door clicks shut behind him. Buck wonders for a moment if Tommy's ever actually been to the new dispatch headquarters before. If he ever went to the old one, charming grin on his face while he waited for Abby to finish up so he could take her out, drive her home while her car was in the shop - but no, Tommy would have worked on it himself, maybe.

Had Josh recognized him, that first time, with half of his soot on Buck's face, and just never said anything?

The silence is tense. They're in a fishbowl, no room to lash out even if either of them wanted to because more than half the people working in this place can see them if they just tip their head to the side.

"How can I help?"

It's - his voice is strained, scared, worried. Buck doesn't have a single guess as to how he knows. Maybe Bobby. It's the only person he can think of who would have -.

Buck snorts. "I rebounded with a serial killer who just kidnapped my sister and my baby niece or nephew. I don't - I'm not sure what you want."

He glances up just in time to see the end of Tommy's grimace. Good. He's not sure how much more disastrous of a choice he could have made to try to get Tommy out of his system, but at least it hurts him to know. At least...

"Do you want me to go?"

Buck can't remember anyone asking, before. Usually they just... leave. Get up, walk out, disappear. Tommy bubbled Buck five times in three months. Buck went through seven bags of flour before he drove Eddie to the airport.

His voice shakes on his "No," and Tommy is there, all of the sudden, his hand hovering just over Buck's shoulder, like he realized halfway there it might not be welcome. "Do you still think I need to keep looking for someone better than you?"

It'd been seeing Tommy out with a guy that'd prompted him to stop fucking baking and make an effort to just...get over it But with Eddie away, and the rest of the 118 so wrapped up in their lives, there weren't a whole lot of outlets for that. And it's been easy to willfully misinterpret Tommy's breakup speech. Or - interpret it in the most hurtful way possible.

"Is this what you want to do right now?" Tommy asks, even and measured. "Will this help?"

"I want my sister back!"

Tommy takes a step back. His hands shift to his pockets, and Buck just wants -

"Why are you here?"

He tips his head up. Holds Tommy's gaze. Tommy flounders in a way Buck's never seen before.

He looks - tired. Good. White Henley under a flannel Buck had always told him brought out his eyes. The jeans Buck had stolen once or twice because they made his ass look good. His hair's grown in at the sides, and the sprinkling of greys are more obvious than the last time he'd seen it this length.

"I just... didn't want you to be alone."

Tears threaten at the corners of his eyes. He wants to laugh, but he's terrified if he starts he won't be able to hold in the fear. "When did that change?"

Tommy gnaws on his cheek. "You have so many people, Buck. You have -."

"I don't want emotional repression Tommy here, so if you're just here to keep me distracted until someone else can be here you should just... go."

Something flashes in his gaze. Anger, maybe. Terror.

"Please let me stay."

It hurts, to hear it. It hurts to hear the trepidation in his voice as he says it. Buck just wants to pull him in, tuck his face into the curve of his neck, soak in the warmth of his arms.

Buck spends too long staring at his knees. Long enough for Tommy to shift, to sigh, to nod his head decisively out of the corner of Buck's eye.

The word is stuck in his throat. Has been for months, since Tommy looked at him with teary eyes and walked away.

"I won't be able to let you go again."

He's already half turned away. Buck can only see half his expression as his eyes dip closed. He swallows. Nods, again.

Buck can't watch him push back through that door, so he stares at the toes of his boots until his vision starts to blur.

A second pair of toes swim into his eyeline. A hand shifts through his curls, snagging on knots, digging towards his scalp, and he can't quite bite back the sob. The arms that reach for him are warm, big and familiar, and Buck gives himself over to the panic and the fear that have been clawing at his chest for hours now. Tommy says something - whispers it into the air above Buck's head over and over, but Buck can't - he just -

He presses his face into Tommy's stomach, digs his fingers into the back of his shirt, sucks in horrible, gasping breaths. It's not enough. Nothing will be until he's got Maddie in his arms.

But it's more than he had an hour ago.

"Stay," he manages, and Tommy's fingers curl around Buck's neck and hold.

[heatwayve]

josh.

“ IS IT ? ”   he chuckles, the nearly shit-eating grin still gracing his features, barely twitching since he’s first stepped into the dressing room. his eyes can’t enough of her, watching her body like it’s the first week of love island and he’s just seen naomi in a bikini for the first time. mentally undressing her—then dressing her again, in his lucky jersey.   “ looks old to me. ”   josh knows what she’s doing, of course :   the jersey, the wine, the terrace at sunset. it’s what he had wanted to do last night, before the text had come about having to get ready for movie night. hell, it feels better than the way it could’ve gone last night, in case josh stumbled over the french or made an ass of himself in his little speech he had planned for her—a speech that he’s completely forgotten by now, to be honest. but it’s not like she could’ve rejected him more than she did last night, telling him that he should sleep outside instead of a simple yes. granted, he now sees the error of his ways, how much more romantic it could’ve been if he just waited for sunset on the following day. 

but it’s so much easier the second time around, because naomi in his jersey is a finite answer to his question from last night, before it can even be brought up today. there’s something so wife material of her as she comes closer with the bottle of wine, settling practically right in his lap, wearing nothing but his clothes. it’s been hard to say much until now, equal parts shock and glee, but naomi’s knees slotting against his legs is the kickstart to the brain he needs. eyes never leaving hers once, he knocks back as much of the wine he can in one swig, before putting the glass down on the ground. josh needs both hands when he grabs naomi by the hips and repositions her until she’s sitting into his lap, letting one hand slip under the jersey to see if she’s truly wearing only his shirt. the smile breaks on his face for the first time to make a brief face at the feel of her shorts, disappointed he hadn’t been greeted with less. 

“ i wanted to ask you ? ”   her words make him laugh, his other hand sliding up her back, knotting into her dark hair. any chance of playing coy has gone promptly over the terrace railing when she sat down on him, so josh wastes no time grabbing the side of her face and pulling her in for a passionate kiss, all tongue and teeth and bodies molding together. he doesn’t mean for it to get so pg-13, but they are making up for nearly a day without it.   “ you mean you’re not gonna do the honors ? ”   he teases when they finally pull apart, nose sliding up hers slowly, pulling back so she can see the wide smile that’s back on his face.   “ you’ve already raided my closet, apparently, ”   he adds, tugging on the end of the jersey. it seems silly to ask after all this, when he already knows the answer, but it’s exactly for that reason that he tries again.   “ veux-tu être ma petite amie ? ”   one of the producers had helped him with the french, and he’s sure he’s butchering it, but he’s just so giddy to be saying it that he doesn’t even care. at the very least, josh is owning it. 

– “NEW TO ME, THEN, I GUESS,” naomi concedes. she tries to keep her smile tight-lipped and coy, but it’s increasingly hard to play it cool when josh is looking at her like this, eyes dark and pupils dilated like there’s not enough light in this room, in this universe, to take her all in with. her smile widens instead, bright and unrestrained in the way it reaches her eyes, and there’s a soft, giddy laugh that escapes her lips – not because anything’s particularly funny, but because it’s the only noise that seems to express what’s in her heart in the slightest way, and it’s completely inadvertent, unconscious enough that when she recalls this memory, she won’t remember laughing at the sight of him. in a way, this is almost better than it would have been the first time around, not just because she’s prepared for it ( though that is nice, naomi will admit, the constant reach for control didn’t hurt her motivation in orchestrating this, ) but because it also exists as a ‘fuck you’ to the producers and everything else that’s been working against them in here, trying to make them miserable with each other.

naomi sets the bottle of wine down beside josh, taking a sip from her glass as he watches her. despite the way he’s smiled at her, naomi doesn’t full relax until he puts his hands on her and pulls her close, her thighs parting so that she can trap his waist. honestly, an excuse to ask for better wine is a good enough reason for this, but she’s hardly thinking about that when his hand wanders. she sets the glass back down beside his, laughing again when she registers the disappointment on his features, feeling like she can read his mind. naomi puts her hand on his from over the fabric and leans in close, “ what, you thought i was going to sit on the terrace with my ass out ? ” she asks, giving his hand a light squeeze as she turns her head so that her lips brush the shell of his ear, voice low, “ you’re gonna have to work a little harder for that. ” she can’t imagine if this turned into another fight or he refused to forgive her and she was dressed in even less. granted, she was fairly confident this would work – despite the cold shoulder, naomi knew josh was on the same page as her about wanting to reconcile. not just when he had miles awkwardly shuffle upstairs to bring her a coffee, but all of his lingering glances throughout the day, hesitation in his step as he walked by her as if he was thinking of stopping to pull her each time.

naomi can’t even properly respond to all of josh’s incredulity before he has pulled her close, kissing her deeply, stealing all of the breath in her lungs. kissing him now feels like a baptism, washing away all things previous. he's full of holy water and she tries to catch him in her hands, touch that roams his body with a new hunger. the kiss full of the catharsis of airing out all of their sins in the open, whether by movie night or everything else they’ve admitted to each other – maybe it’s not all pretty or perfect, but it’s all been laid bare. naomi pauses for a moment in the intensity, and there's a moment where she catches his eyes that everything stops, only the sound of silence mixed with her own heaving breath. and then she grabs josh by the collar of his shirt and pulls him back in towards her for one more, making up for lost time today. if there's one thing every story about humanity will tell you, it's that they'll always sin again.

too speechless to do anything but nod at his words at first, she’s quiet until he finally asks her the words he’s rehearsed. really, she’s already asked him by putting this together, and allowing him to do the honors is just a formality, a way for her to give him his moment back after the way it spiraled out of control last night. she knows how much this has meant to him without saying it, knows enough about josh and his army of red flags that he doesn’t do this, doesn’t define the relationship for a girl if he can avoid it. “ amie, ” she corrects his pronunciation with a playful smile, her hand reaching up to cup his face, thumb sliding over his cheek. “ but yes, ” she replies in english, eyes shining, “ i’ll be your girlfriend. ” the word feels surreal, unfamiliar on her tongue, and it’s funny to think about how little she expected this. when she pictured the end of her experience, she pictured ending it with a surface-level relationship with someone where they’d half-ass long distance for a little while, long enough to pretend they tried in some kind of public statement, and then call it – likely before they ever were anything so official. but it’s impossible to act like she could have that kind of detachment with josh, he already feels like he’s part of her. naomi presses her lips to his again, kissing all of the desire and adoration from his lips and reveling in it. she’s warm everywhere, limbs buzzing, and she reaches again for her glass of wine so she can take a big enough swig for what she’s got to say next. “ i am sorry your moment got ruined yesterday, ” she says, holding the glass close to her chest, “ i wanted to make it up to you – i know we’re bigger than that. but it just . . . it was a really difficult night for me all around, and it didn’t feel right while i was so panicked and everything was happening at once. i was freaking out a bit. ”

[jinxthequeergirl]

For Those You Lost

Simon Kalivoda x reader

Summary: you are forced to mourn for your friends and loved ones, and when you are given the chance to exact revenge, you don't hesitate.

Warning: SPOILERS FOR FEAR STREET 1666 basic horror violence, death, swearing, Implied that Heather was the Readers Older sister.

Consider this a short sequel to "As The World Caves in" in which i change the narritive so the reader is the one exacting revenge on Nick Goode

~~~~~~

You Wish you would have just died that night, even wishing you would have died in the hospital. Instead you where walking around while not only your sister but best friend person you loved where all dead.

Now you where expected to give a speech in front of the whole student body.

It was all fake, the Sunnyvaleiers didn't give a rats ass about your family and friends, they didn't care that you lost the first person you said "I love you too."

No. They where just there because they had to be.

Walking up to the podium seemed to move in slow motion, as everyones eyes followed you, some bored, some annoyed, others not even paying attention. Not a single one shared a mournful look with you.

"Hello fellow ShadySide students and Staff, and hello Sunnyvale." You started having to clear your throat to get rid of the tears that theatened to spill after catching a glimps of Simons Photo in the back.

"We are here today to mourn the loss of three people, Some of you knew them...most...didn't their names where Heather, My...sister,Kate and...And Simon...My bestfriends..." You looked up feom your crumpled note book paper and out intonthe sea of bored highschoolers.

Why hadn't you died that night?

Why hadn't you died in that hospital bed?

Why where you the one standing at that potium?

Why did you have to find the right things to say about your dead friends and family, When no one there would ever really know the truth?

Why?

Why?

Why!?

You froze the thought of Simons face right before he sacrificed himself for you flashing through your mind.

"I can't do this..." You muttered.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU! YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEM! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!" everyone seemed to be intrested now that you where screaming. "FUCK THE NEWS TOO, SIMON AMD KATE WHERE MORE THEN DRUGGIES YOU ASS HOLES!"

You crumpled up the paper throwing it somewhere and storming off, brushing officer Goodes hands off of you as you did so.

That night seemed so far away, now your blood boiled more as you stepped on the gas of The stolen cop car after hearing what Deena had just discovered. "Y/n! Slow Down!" Josh warned.

"Y/n..." Deena said softly putting her hand on your shoulder. "We're gonna stop him." She said in a soft confident voice. "Damn right." You said slowing down just enough to not get the three of you killed, but kept going fast enough to reach Ziggy and Devise a plan.

In the mall the five of you worked hastily to set up the trap for Goode, Ziggy glanced up at you ever now and then before finally coming up beside you.

"I'm assuming you two where close?"

You glanced up at her before quickly looking back down to tie the knot you'd been working on. "Yea...you know...mom was...well it was complicated...Heather...Heather took care of everything for me....I...being alone with our mom now..." Ziggy placed a hand on your shoulder. "I get that..Listen If we make it out of this...and you ever need someone...I Wouldn't mind the company."

"Seriously?"

She nodded, before you could say anything Josh called out too you. "They're here!" Everyone turned to the doors seeinv the nightwing killer come in hastily. You caught sight of the axe in his hand and stared for a moment.

Ziggy grabbed your hand and pulled you behind her to hide. "Ready?" She asked.

You nodded and ran to your battle station.

Everything was going fine, the plan was working you felt confident This would work You Felt like Fred Jones or some shit.

Then he grabbed Ziggy, staining her Sweater With Deenas Blood making her a Target. "Fuck..." You looked over to Josh who shook his head no at you knowing what you where about to do.

You ignored him and took off sprinting across the mall floor to the two of them tackling them to the ground. "Run Ziggy! Run!" You Yelled As Goode now wrestled you.

You gabbed your elbow into his stab wound, causing him to cry out and let you go. You got up running to Ziggy and Josh waving you to them. you barely dodged the skull mask killer ripping the sleeve of your neon stained shirt as you slid under the store gate.

He crashed against it wiggling it attempting to get to you.

"Here have it!" You yelled pulling the hoodie off and sliding it under the gate.

"You ok?"

"Yea..." You panted watching Nick Goode run to an Exit door, Deena Not to far behind. "That shit, I'm going after them." You said.

"Hang on." Ziggy said. "You can't just go out there...they might try to stop you." She said gesturing to the swarm of killers.

"I'm not just letting her go alone!"

Everyone went quiet. "I have an Idea." Martin spoke up eyeing the water guns you carried.

"Hey!" Josh yelled catching the killers attention.

He pumped the water gun before shooting them, ziggy and martin joined him, with in seconds they turned to eachother and started attacking. "That should buy everyone some time." Josh said to you.

"Stay Alive!' You yelled before Taking off in the direction Deena went stopping to stoop down and yank the Night wing killers Axe from the ground.

You followed a trail off blood down the hall and around the corner. "Deena?" She jumped turning to you, ready to stab you. "What are you doing!? Go back!" She said taking your newly obtained weapon.

"No! No way!" You said.

"Listen Ever since the other night I can't help but feel like...like I should be dead too...I Wish I had Died On that Floor with Simon." You choked rubbing away tears. "But... Simon...Simon Sacrificed himself to make sure I was Still Alive And Goode? He killed my Fucking sister...he killed simon." You took the Axe back from Deena.

"So I'm coming with, And I'm going to make sure he gets what he Fucking deserves. " You bit out.

She stared at you for a moment before nodding.

"Then Lets Kill this Asshole." She said with a affirming look. You gripped the axe tightly in your hands as you followed behind her through the tunnled.

"Goode!" She yelled hoping to scare him out from whatever hole he was hiding in.

You stopped nudging her to show her the bloody hand print on the walls

"Where the hell are you coward?"

Something jumped out from the dark taking deena down. "Sam!" She cried as sam attempted to stangle her. You tried to pull the girl off but failed, something caught the corner of your eye. "Y/n...Goode...Go!"

You grabbed the axe and took off after him you got close enough to swing at his legs knocking him down. "Wait wait please..."

"Begging? You think I'm gonna show you mercy?" You asked pinning him down with your foot. "Did you show mercy to my sister? To my friend?" The man babbled hoping to find a way out of this.

"Thats what i thought." You raised the axe and brought it down on his chest.

"This is for Heather you fucking Dick!" "Cindy Berman, Sam and kate!" You cried chopping at him with each name.

You gripped it even tighter before bringing it down on him one more time "For Simon."

You stood above him panting making sure he was gone before you heard coughing. "Sam...Deena..." You ran back to where you left them and found them hugging. "It worked?"

Deena looked up at you with teary eyes. "It worked."

"Good...good lets get the fuck outta here." You said pulling both of them up.

That night seemed like a blur really, it still hurt not having the comfort of your sister or simon around.

But Ziggy was there for you like she promised.

"Hey, I have something for you." Ziggy said as you entered the door of her house.

"What is it?" You asked dropping your bag.

"Deena dropped it off, she wanted to give it to you but she had to get going."

She held out a red hoodie to you. "Where...how did..."

You took it from her holding it up. "She wanted me to tell you it was of course washed, like a lot." She laughed. You pulled it on wrapping it around yourself, it didn't smell like him anymore but that was ok.

[meganwritesfanfics]

Fresh Bruises (Josh Lyman x Reader) Part 1

WARNING This story contains mention of domestic abuse

“The speech was amazing Mr. President.” Y/N said as she walked next to her boyfriend her arm linked with his. 

“Thank you Y/N, but the credit really goes to Sam and Toby.” President Bartlett said as the whole entourage made their way through the halls of the hotel. 

“I would sir, but I wouldn’t want them to get a big head.” Y/N laughed.

“You know you two are really made for each other.” CJ laughed as she walked next to Josh. 

Josh smiled as he kissed the side of Y/N’s head. 

For a moment everything seemed to be going fine. The speech had gone amazing, everyone was feeling good about it, people were happy, including Toby. That was until Leo, who had been on the phone turned around to look at everyone, a worried look on his face. 

Quickly Josh turned to look at Y/N. 

“Go, I will stay back here with CJ.” Y/N said as she reached out and straightened his tie. 

“I love you.” Josh said kissing her cheek before he headed up to Leo and the President with Toby and Sam following quickly behind. 

“It’s probably nothing,” CJ tried to soothe even though Y/N knew otherwise. Leo and Josh were very similar in the sense of when something was really wrong, it was pretty easy to tell. “I can’t believe you gave up working in the White House just to date him.” She teased, pointing towards Josh who was having a hard time not glancing back to look at Y/N. 

“I loved working at the White House, don't get me wrong, but I have always wanted to be a family law practitioner. Plus I love Josh and he... “ Y/N started when suddenly she saw a man standing in the hallway to the side. It was a face she hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“Y/N?” CJ asked, looking at her questioningly. “Is everything ok? Do you know him?” 

“He’s an old...friend.” Y/N said with disdain. “I will catch up with you guys.” 

CJ smiled hesitantly before she walked away. 

By the time they had made it outside both Sam and Toby were on the phone. Leo was talking to Bartlet and Josh had finally broken away looking for CJ and Y/N.  Through the crowd he could make out  CJ but he couldn’t see Y/N anywhere. 

“CJ!” He called as he made his way over to her. “Where is Y/N” 

“She saw someone she knew inside and stopped to talk to him.”

“Him?” Josh said a slight bit of jealousy in his voice. 

“Yeah, I recognized him but I couldn’t figure out why, but something felt really off about the whole situation.” CJ started and suddenly a knot formed in Josh’s stomach. 

“CJ, what did he look like.” Josh said as he grabbed onto CJ’s shoulders firmly and in such a way that scared CJ.

“Josh, I don’t know I just saw him for a moment he…” She started when suddenly her focus shifted to behind Josh. “Like him Josh.” She pointed as Josh quickly spun around. The knot in his stomach grew, so much so that Josh felt like he was going to throw up. The man he saw was one he had not seen in two years and one he had hoped he would never see again. 

“You are a giant brat you know that right.” Y/N said storming into Josh Lyman’s office. 

“A brat wow I don’t think I have heard that one since the 3rd grade.” Josh smiled looking up from the report he was reading. 

“You cannot just invite me to go with you to the gala. And you especially cannot ask Donna to ask me.”  Y/N exclaimed however there was no anger in her voice only amusement. 

“Well I couldn’t be expected to trudge my way all the way to your office just to ask you to go to an event you should have been invited to in the first place.” Josh laughed. 

“If you couldn’t be bothered to come to my office then why should I be bothered to go to the gala with you.” Y/N stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Oh don’t act like you are not stoked to be going to the gala. Donna said you haven’t been able to stop talking about wanting to go, so I figured I would help you out.” 

“Oh thanks for the pity ticket.” Y/N said her voice changing slightly as she turned to leave his office. 

“Hey wait.” Josh quickly said as he stood up rushing towards Y/N grabbing her wrist. 

Quickly Y/N instinctively flinched away pulling her sleeve down trying to hide the bruises. 

Josh took a step back, lowering his head slightly. “It was not out of pity.” 

Y/N reached out taking Josh’s hand. “Thank you Josh, but I can’t go with you. I’m with Henry.” 

Josh let go of her hand quickly running it through his hair as he made his way back behind his desk. “No, yeah, I know that. I was just thinking we could go as coworkers, and friends.” 

“I would love that, but I don’t think Henry would see it that way.” There was a silence between the two filled with tension. “I’m sure there are plenty of girls who would love to go with you.” Y/N said looking down. 

“Are you sure, I could always talk to Henry.” 

“No, please don’t do that, if you talk to him, I can’t have you, he won’t…” Y/N said completely flustered. 

“Hey, hey, hey” Josh quickly said rushing towards Y/N but being cautious not to grab her, not wanting to scare her. “It’s ok, I won’t talk to him if you don’t want me to.”  Slowly he placed his hand on her arm. He looked down at her hand seeing the bruise around her wrist that couldn’t be hidden by her shirt. “Y/N. Are you ok? Does Henry…” Josh couldn’t find the words to say just exactly what he was thinking without upsetting her more. 

“Does Henry what?” A voice said causing Y/N to nearly jump out of her skin. 

Both Josh and Y/N quickly turned to see Henry standing in the doorway, arms crossed. 

“Henry!” Y/N gasped jumping back away from Josh. “What are you doing here honey?” 

“Well I came here to see if you wanted to get lunch.” Henry said with almost a growl. 

“I just… Josh was…” Y/N said panicking and Josh could see the fear in her eyes. 

“I had a legal question, Y/N was just helping me out.” Josh quickly said trying to come to her rescue. 

“Ah, I see.” Henry said quickly changing his focus from Y/N to Josh with a wicked glare. “Y/N can I speak with you in your office.” 

“Yeah of course. Josh I will.” Y/N gulped. “I will see you later.” 

Josh knew he should have said something, he knew he should have done everything in his power to stop Y/N from going with him. But he didn’t. He thought they were in the White House for god sakes, Henry wasn’t that stupid. Plus Y/N’s secretary would be outside her office, she would hear if anything was happening. That was what Josh kept telling himself. But he couldn’t focus on anything but wanting to head to her office. 

“Donna!” He finally yelled after about an hour of rereading the same sentence. “Will you call Y/N’s assistant and set up a meeting.” 

“Celia said that Y/N gave her the rest of the day off.” Donna called back immediately, sending a knot into Josh’s stomach as he quickly stood up heading towards Y/N’s office. 

“Josh, Josh where are you going?” He could hear Donna call but he was on a mission. 

“Josh.” Toby quickly said as he walked by Josh, noticing how pale he was. 

“Follow me.” Josh said not even stopping. 

Toby quickly did as he was told, catching up to Josh who was nearly sprinting down the walls of the White House. 

“Josh what is going on, what is wrong?” Toby tried to say but Josh was too focused, too scared about what he was going to find when he got to that office. All that came to a screeching halt when he saw Henry. Josh froze causing Toby to almost collide with him. 

“Josh what are we…” Toby started as Josh threw up a hand to shush him. They watched as the nervous man came out of Y/N’s office, looking around frantically when suddenly he made eye contact with Josh. Instantly Josh knew, he knew what had happened. As Josh took a step forward, Henry took off. Instead of focusing on the man who ran, the two men bolted inside the office. 

As soon as the door opened they could see the destruction. There were papers tossed everywhere, chairs were knocked over, books had been pulled out of the bookcase and were now on the floor. 

“Oh my God.” Toby gasped.

Josh didn’t have words as his eyes suddenly landed on the form of Y/N who was laying on the floor behind her desk. Quickly he ran to her noticing the bruises and the bloody gash on her forehead. “Call someone!” 

Toby left, leaving Josh who had scooped Y/N into his lap as he assessed the damage. Y/N had a busted lip, her nose was bleeding potentially broken and the gash was bleeding through the cloth Josh had ripped from his shirt and placed there. 

“Y/N, wake up ok, I need you to wake up.” Josh pleaded, looking up to see Toby standing in the doorway again. 

Suddenly Y/N woke up gasping as she looked around the room. For a moment she didn’t remember what had happened, that was until she looked into Josh’s eyes. 

“Y/N, are you ok?” Josh quickly asked and Toby ran over to join Josh kneeling next to them. 

“What, oh yeah, I uh… I just fell. I must have hit my head on the desk. I’m so clumsy sometimes I…” Y/N rambled sitting up not looking either of the two men in the eyes. 

“Y/N, stop.” Josh said forcefully, causing her to look him in the eye. 

“I just…” Y/N tried again but tears had started to form in her eyes. She couldn’t do it, she didn’t have an excuse, she didn’t have anything she could hide behind. When she looked at the two men before her, she knew that there was no more hiding it. “Josh.” She cried as she began sobbing. 

“Hey, shhh” Josh said wrapping his arms around her. “It’s ok, he’s not going to get away with it. We are going to call…” 

“No!” Y/N quickly exclaimed grabbed Josh’s arm tightly. “You can’t call the police. You can’t.” 

“Y/N, Henry just beat the living crap out of you. And I take it this isn’t the first time.” Josh said, causing Y/N to look down at her bruised wrists. 

“Josh, you don’t understand he works for the police. He is the police.” Y/N said looking back up at Josh, whose heart broke seeing how damaged she was. 

Josh hesitated for a moment, all he wanted to do was see that son of a bitch burn, but he knew that he couldn’t force Y/N to do anything she didn’t want to. 

“Ok, we won’t call the police but I’m not letting him near you again.” Josh growled protectively holding onto Y/N. 

“Josh, I live with him all of my stuff is at his place I can’t…” Y/N started again but Josh shook his head. 

“You can stay with me until you find another place and Toby and I will go pick up all of your stuff Y/N. You don’t need to be afraid of him anymore. I won’t let him hurt you again I promise.” 

“I don’t want him to hurt you guys.” Y/N cried leaning into Josh more. 

Josh smiled slightly as he gently kissed the side of Y/N’s head. “Don’t worry Y/N we will be careful.”

“Thank you Josh.” Y/N smiled at him as the paramedics came into the room. 

Josh was true to his word, he hadn’t let Henry near Y/N again, at least not alone. He took care of her and let her stay at his place. She never found a new apartment though because it wasn’t long before the two began dating. Y/N had quit working at the White House because she knew it was a conflict of interest to be on the legal counsel for the White House and to be dating a White House Staffer, but more importantly, she really wanted to work in family law. Their life together wasn’t perfect but the two wouldn’t ask for it any other way. And after more than a year and a half of dating Josh knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Y/N. 

That’s what made seeing Henry even more terrifying for Josh. And as he looked at the man and looked into his eyes. Josh saw the same look he had seen two years ago in the White House, but this time Josh looked down to see a knife in Henry’s hands. 

“Y/N!” Josh screamed as he took off running back into the hotel. CJ followed quickly behind him leading Josh back to where she had last seen Y/N. 

Josh felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. As he ran through the halls he prayed to every god he could think of that he would find Y/N and she would be fine. But as CJ stopped in the hallway pointing to where she had last seen Y/N, and as Josh saw a single high heeled shoe, one that matched exactly the kind of shoes Y/N had been wearing he knew that the likelihood of her being ok was slim. 

“Y/N!” Josh screamed again as he ran in the same direction of the shoe. 

At this point Toby and Sam had made there way into the hotel, after informing the secret service that they needed to get the president away, they didn’t know if there was an immediate threat but they knew something was wrong.

“Josh I saw Henry what was he doing here I thought he moved out of D.C.” Toby said as he followed after Josh. 

“I don’t know but he had a…” Josh started when suddenly he looked up to see a bloody handprint on the wall. 

“Oh God.” CJ gasped, her hand instinctively going over her mouth. 

Josh bent forward feeling as though he wanted to throw up. He knew that he needed to keep looking for Y/N, that he needed to find her, but he was so scared, so terrified of what he was going to find that his body wouldn’t move. 

“Josh, Josh we need to keep going.” Sam pleaded with him gently laying his hand on his back. 

Josh nodded straightening back up as he continued down the hall following the bloody handprints and pools of blood that trailed their way down. Toby had made his way a few feet ahead of them and as he turned a corner following the blood he quickly backed up as he turned white. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Josh could barely say his voice cracking so hard the words were barely audible. He quickly ran over to where Toby was looking down the hallway, and when he saw it his knees gave out as he fell to the floor. “No, no, no” He cried as he began to crawl to the body of Y/N who lay unconscious on the floor surrounded by blood. “Y/N” Josh cried as he pulled her into his arms. Her face was beaten and was already starting to bruise and as he looked down trying to assess the damage he saw the source of the bleeding, a giant gash in Y/N's stomach. “Oh god!” He gasped trying to take off his jacket but Toby beat him to it, placing his jacket on Y/N’s stomach applying pressure in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “Baby, please wake up, I need you to wake up. Y/N I love you please.” Josh pleaded as he kissed each bruise on her face, his tears mixing in with the blood. 

“Josh, she has a pulse, but it’s faint we need to get her help.” Sam said. 

“Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine my love.” Josh said as he picked up Y/N walking as fast as he could out of the hotel where he found a slew of secret service waiting. 

“What happened?” 

“Where did the suspect go?” 

The questions came at lighting speed and Josh knew he should answer them but his mind was only focused on the woman in his arms. A woman who he couldn’t imagine living without. 

Toby quickly jumped in answering as many questions as he could as Josh made his way towards the ambulance that was waiting. 

He could hear people talking to him, but his mind couldn’t process what they were saying. All he could do was stare down at Y/N’s face, watching as his tears fell hitting her cheek. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” He cried. 

He felt someone reaching out to grab Y/N and he instinctively pulled away. 

“What is your name,” A voice said and Josh finally looked up to see a kind paramedic looking at him her eyes soft. 

“Josh,” He spoke softly, his voice broken. “Joshua Lyman.” 

“Ok Josh, I need you to let us help her ok. You can stay right by her side but I need you to let us take care of her.”  

Josh hesitated for a moment before he nodded and handed Y/N over to the paramedics, his hands shaking. 

“Good, now tell me about her,” The paramedics continued as the other began to strap wires to Y/N and began bandaging her up. 

“Her name is Y/N Y/L/N she is my girlfriend.” Josh continued his eyes staring at Y/N his breathing getting more and more rapid. 

“We are going to take care of Y/N, don’t worry ok, but I need you to stay calm ok, I think you are going into shock.” The paramedic continued. 

“I just…” 

“Josh!” A voice screamed and he turned to see Toby running up to the ambulance with Sam and CJ following behind. “We will meet you at the hospital, I’m going to call Leo and tell him what happened.” 

Josh just nodded his eyes were wide and everyone could see that he was extremely pale. 

“It’s going to be ok,” Sam said trying his best to be positive about the situation. 

“Alright Josh, we have to get going ok,” The paramedic said. 

Josh nodded again and as the doors began to shut to the ambulance he watched as Toby looked at him, tears in his eyes, as he placed his hands on his heart.

[moss-lyman]

Heeeey! Could you do JD and “Your lips are really warm.” for the last prompt list?

so, I thought I posted this when I finished it months ago, but apparently not! here is some intoxicated Donna for your Saturday pleasure. set post-series. :)

(rated T. they get a little handsy.)

Donna is feeling very light and only a little floaty.

She’s got a cocktail in her hand and the White House holiday party is slowly winding down around her. She and Josh are going to Florida to see his mom in the morning, so she doesn’t feel bad when she downs the rum punch and asks for another, giving the bartender her best smile when he sets her refilled glass on the countertop.

“Thanks,” she murmurs and fumbles with the straw in her mouth as she scans the room. She hasn’t seen her boyfriend for a few hours now and she really hopes he just got caught talking with people rather than being summoned to the Sit Room. This weekend vacation will be the first time in awhile that they can sleep in the same bed for consecutive nights in a row and she doesn’t want that taken away because Russia decided to go rogue or something. She gets a little nervous when she can’t find him for a full 5 minutes until she finally spies him talking with Lou and Sam. She grins in relief and grabs her drink before making her way over to them.

“Sam, I need you to monitor this thing in Georgia over the weekend. Leak the memo that I gave you this morning and Lou—”

“The speech will be done before you land tomorrow.”

“Will it?” he presses and Donna smirks from behind him as he tries to stare Lou down. “Because last time—”

“Last time won’t be happening again.”

“Good. Send it to me as soon as you’re done.”

Lou sees Donna come up behind Josh. “Oh thank god. Can you please get him away from me?”

“Hey,” he interjects, but Lou is already walking away while Sam chuckles. “I’m your boss, you know! I could fire you!”

Lou only waves. “See ya Monday!”

Josh huffs and Donna slips her hand into his. “Hi,” she murmurs and he turns toward her.

“Hi,” he drawls pointedly when he gets a good look at her. “You havin’ fun?”

She smiles without meaning to, the alcohol swimming happily through her veins, and she lifts up her drink. “I am.”

“How many of those have you had?”

Donna holds up four fingers. “Three.”

Sam laughs again and claps Josh on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about anything, alright? Spend time with your family, I have it under control. And Donna?” She whips her head toward him, giving him an innocent look. “Don’t let him work this weekend.”

Her grin grows wicked. “I’ll distract him,” she murmurs, dropping his hand and pinching Josh on the ass.

Sam only shares an amused look with Josh before squeezing Donna’s shoulder and excusing himself.

Josh turns to his very tipsy girlfriend who’s hand has now snuck it’s way into his back pocket. “How ya doin’?”

She hums and pulls on his tie. “I’d be better if I was doing you.”

“And that’s enough alcohol for the First Lady’s Chief of Staff,” he says quickly and snags her still full drink out of her hand.

“Josh,” she pouts when he finishes off the rum punch himself and tosses the cup in the trash. “I wasn’t done.”

“Your friendly hand on my ass tells me otherwise.”

She giggles and squeezes him once. “Haven’t you ever seen an 80s movie? A hand in the back pocket is a romantic gesture.”

“So you have romance on your mind?”

“Maybe,” she murmurs and leans in closer to him. “Or maybe it’s my subtle way of telling you to take me home.” He checks his watch as she slowly drags her fingers up his back and over his shoulder to his chest. She smiles when he swallows heavily, unable to resist her, and she tips his cheek over so he’s looking right at her. “Take me home, Josh,” she whispers.

He can’t stop himself from closing the distance and kissing her right there in the corner of the east room, his hand landing on her waist and pulling her closer. He tastes the liquor on her tongue and a throaty groan escapes him when she presses against him fully.

“Donna,” he warns, painfully aware of the party going on around them. “We’re still technically at work.”

She ignores him in favor of kissing him again, humming happily when his hand sneaks a squeeze on her own ass. “Your lips are really warm,” she mumbles, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, making it look like they’re dancing despite her tongue being firmly planted in his mouth.

He gently pushes her back and grins at her pout. He kisses her deep red lips one more time and puts a hand on her back to usher her toward the door.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“I’ve convinced you?” she asks excitedly.

“You have. Let’s go.”

She turns in front of him, walking backwards, when she says “but wait, I need to go say bye to – Josh!”

“Now,” he demands, picking her up and carrying her over his shoulder toward the side doors.

“Put me down!” she yells, laughing drunkily. “I can walk.”

He pauses and lets her feet hit the floor, steadying her as she sways. She smiles at him while throwing an arm around his waist as they walk and he smiles at her. “You’re a very beautiful woman,” he states, caught up as he gazes lovingly at her. “Did you know that?”

“You think so?” He nods. “‘Cause I get a lot of ‘cute’s or even the occasional ‘pretty’s, but ‘beautiful’ has been pretty rare.”

“You’re all of those things.”

“Am I hot?”

His mouth quirks and he squeezes her waist, turning his mouth to her ear so only she can hear him. “Did the 3 orgasms the other night not convince you of that already?” She bites her lip and stops walking, causing him to stumble a little as she tries to direct him on a new path and he gives her a confused look. “Did you forget something?”

“I don’t want to wait until we get home,” she murmurs, gunning for a supply closet, and Josh laughs before turning her back toward the circle drive.

“Not a chance.”

“Come on,” she pouts, slumping a little when he opens the door for her. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

He cozies up behind her so he can speak softly in her ear, his voice dripping in honey. “I plan on taking my time tonight,” he murmurs, internally smirking when he feels goosebumps raise on her skin. “To make sure you know exactly how beautiful and pretty and hot I find you.” He kisses right behind her ear and she shivers. “And you won’t be able to be quiet.”

Donna’s blood thrums and she smirks as he opens her car door. She slides in front of him, letting the back of her hand brush his groin, and he twitches before she pulls him forward by his tie, Donna’s lips waiting for him as he shuts the car door behind him.

“Well, if you insist.”

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰

Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST 

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || 

part seven || part eight || epilogue 

Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday. 

You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to. 

Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas. 

The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him. 

You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle. 

“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”

“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building. 

You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter. 

You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer. 

Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along. 

The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger. 

As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate. 

Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows. 

“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.” 

You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”

When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.” 

“ You have an indoor pool?” 

“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button. 

“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.” 

“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor. 

You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.” 

As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance. 

As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand. 

“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?” 

Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?” 

Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off. 

You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head. 

Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”

Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh. 

You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ” 

Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down.  He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state. 

“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter. 

“ Oh really? Who?”

“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning. 

While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash. 

“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.” 

You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation. 

“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”

Fuck. 

Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.” 

“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded. 

You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?

Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm. 

“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”

“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”

Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day. 

“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”

Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible. 

“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you. 

“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg. 

Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you. 

“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.” 

“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it. 

“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded. 

You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long. 

You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call. 

“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”

“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life. 

Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before. 

                                                         ----------

You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious. 

Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind. 

Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself. 

You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety,  you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion. 

When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you. 

Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head. 

“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop. 

“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach. 

You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks. 

As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly. 

You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you. 

Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room. 

Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone. 

You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked. 

You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate. 

Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him. 

5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post! 

5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!

6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet? 

6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd

6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!

7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay

8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back 

8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore

8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead? 

9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates? 

9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there 

9:35pm || Y/N: peter????

9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried

10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond 

You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him. 

You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone. 

Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza

You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-

You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head. 

Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep. 

You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off. 

It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder. 

The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end. 

You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street. 

But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels. 

You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat. 

The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter. 

You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up. 

All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you. 

“ Let go of me!”

“ Y/N! I got you!” 

“ It’s me Peter!” 

“Y/N!” 

You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you. 

The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!” 

“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!” 

You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt. 

Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.” 

You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace. 

Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether. 

Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease. 

Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense. 

Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up. 

It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust. 

“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.” 

“ Don’t worry I got you.” 

“ Just breathe for me, okay?” 

For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman. 

You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you. 

Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time. 

“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek. 

You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body. 

From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound. 

Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear. 

Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now. 

@eridanuswave​ @juliet-winterson​ @akacalumtrash​ @ilovepeterparker13​

@parkerboop​ @juliebean247​ @multi-fan-lover​ @ffffan-----girlll @lukesbabylon​

@danicarosaline​ @parkeret​ @marvel4geeks​ @hollander69​ @spideyyeet​ @spn-assemble-seven​ @vibraniumdaisies​ @spaghetittiesbcimgay​ @vi-bi-bye

@lemonsnips​ @aduky​ @faithfullcompanion​ @stopthemotherfuckingmusic

@satellitespidey @foreverpark​ @marvelobsessedteenager​ @deadpoetsbackup

@zalladane​ @starcourt-s​ @parkersinfinitywar​ @stargazingcarol​ @littlesugarb​

@itsteph13​ @jennasmmith​ @liljennyx3​ @harryspet​  @todaynotseen @oh-whatabeautiful-parker​  @tiny-friggin-human @popluckbih    niiight-dreamerrrr     sovereignparker  marie-is-in-the-dark buckyboy-soldier   maia030   parkershoco wolverinesbeer   cherrysruin  sunkissdes  kiainspace  songofcosplay spideylovin write-from-the-heart  thatcrazywhovian09  eternallyvenus thollandx msrawog  idiosadeoro  imawkwardandhereweare foundwolves thequeen-oni silverwolf-sama  inspiring-bea multiversegalaxygirl  lastupidebitchette idekwho1am

silverwolf-sama  wishing-wanting  annoyinglyloudcomputer  faithful-music akacalumtrash  agusdoti   panickedbrain  serendipitous-amor  shannonthewriter-blog    darth-andy   farfromtom   xroselights  murdermornings dorbiksbitch   baby-unidorn   yes-multi-fandom-girl  multiversegalaxygirl a-disappointing-teen-author  rivas0309   vlogsquad-wannabe   spicy-embryoo  takemetoneverland420 teenage-tragedy  roxybefab   hopebaker  timeless-crow  marvel4geeks  desteweirdo  panicattheeverywherekid  miragee3  cjphoenix135 liawhite03 zeusmyster boinkybarnesleftarm aunicornmademedoitActionsMinimizeClose tomshufflepuff    

[beyondd-dazedd]

I LITERALLY COULDNT NOT DO THIS POST NOW!! so hsmtmts stans, portwell nation, literally everyone who wants to read me practically screaming for 10 paragraphs here is the hsmtmts season 2 finale EPISODE👏 REVIEW👏

starting off strong with redlyn. my beauties. my loves. my sunshines. i LOVED that the whole cast knew about red’s plan. just carlos, ricky and ej being like ah yes locker letters😉😉 and everyone being all smiley and knowing SO CUTE!! i hated seeing ash sad but GOD RED SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT MAKING THIS THING TO SHOW ASHLYN HOW MUCH HE APPRECIATES HER?? GOD TIER. also the crew just wATCHING FROM THE DOOR WHILE REDLYN IS IN THEIR OWN WORLD?? MY HEART they’re just such a genuine couple. i love their sweet awkward moments. i also love that lights is their reoccurring thing. it just makes me so happy. y’all just KNOW red calls ashlyn his sunshine and i don’t take criticisms on that. i also really wanted an i love you confession there but they’re so cute that i will allow it to wait

HOWIE AND KOURTNEY!!! at first (bc ep. 11) i was like HOWIE NO YOU CANT HAVE DONE ALL OF THIS STUFF TO HELP EAST AND THEN STAB THEM AND KOURTNEY IN THE BACK but the fact that he was literally just in awe of kourtney and so nervous to be around her because he thinks she’s so talented mADE MY HEART RACE truly incredible. also loved kourt standing up for herself. we LOVE and STAN a straight forward QUEEN also their dorky arm in arm walk was so adorable. also drum rolls being their thing. also honorable mention to kourt’s (dara’s) mom WE STAN

ej helping mr. mazzarra get that job?? I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH.

PORTWELL ANGST SCENE I CRY. ALSO DID I CALL THAT SCENE OR DID I CALL THAT SCENE?? if you read the fic i posted like 7 hours ago you’ll know what i’m talking about. anyways back to the show. gina joking around and then realizing that ej means not rescheduling ever and her just pretending like she’s fine with it?? OUCH OUCH OUCH i would’ve rather her immediately been heart broken. DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON EJ’S FACE AFTER SHE WALKS AWAY. matt absolutely killed that part. you can tell he waited just long enough for her to walk away when he lets his face fall and IT HURTS YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE HIM WANTING TO STAY CRYING BEFORE HE TURNS AWAY

rini moment. not the dressing room parallel. it was PAINFUL. the juxtaposition between the scene in the s1 finale and this scene?? OUCH. ricky saying if we’re literally on the same page (something they struggled with throughout the entire season) and nini saying just for a moment. i just wanna talk to the writers I JUST WANNA TALK BECAUSE THAT WAS RUDE.

seblos being cuties and ms. jenn on some fuck shit. she was having a MOMENT. like chill it’s high school theater it’s alright sis.

GINA LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND SOBBING I HATED IT. I HATED IT.

gini moment?? i loved it. also nini’s right. portwell is so powerful for so many reasons. period sis. and she’s right WE ARE LUCKY TO KNOW GINA. i loved their moment of solidarity and friendship. imma be honest for like 0.1 seconds i thought if portwell doesn’t work out gini might be the move bUT DONT WORRY IM A PORTWELL WARRIOR FOREVER also y’all called gina talking to nini about jamie and her music. YALL CALLED THAT SHIT

i liked ms. jenn and ricky’s moment. i loved josh’s acting in this scene because it’s just so well done. like doesn’t seem like he’s acting at all and it translates so well in this scene. it was very heartfelt and such a mature moment for ricky. so reflective. i love ricky

second chances GAVE ME CHILLS the whole staging, the vocals, the core four. CHILLS. the acting from all of them for this song WAS INCREDIBLE. it was so simple but really made the scene. i’m also a sucker for songs structured like this. with like the rounds and the switching lyrics over top of each other. LOVE.

ok literally all of them booing when lily and antoine showed up sENT ME because me too THE FUCK. antoine saying “big red. you were also in it” mADE ME SNORT. ricky literally shooing them out made me laugh and lily’s whirling turn and ricky like startling back a bit made me laugh. i hate lily but her confession was literally me. like i like his big brown eyes and his big brown hair too you ain’t special bitch. antoine’s thumbs up was SO FUNNY. andrew was hilarious in this role.

also i didn’t love that they were like well fuck the menkies after that was a major plot point of the season but like also i get it. just being like MEH the stress isn’t worth it. EJ’S SPEECH HES LITERALLY VOICE BREAK JUST THE FUCKING GROWTH THAT HES HAD I LOVE HIM

jennzzarra flirting in front of the kids?? kinda cute ngl. also am i muted? SENT ME. also love that howie is just chilling there while they’re talking about dropping out. KOURT SAID LETS BURN THOSE RESULTS

benjamin being BOLD BOLD good for him

big star nini?? good for her!

ashlyn being like YIKES i’m sorry i didn’t realize you thought of ej that way and her being like hahah ok... wait WHAT? but i KNEW ash was going to progress that along somehow. like obvs ej and gina were sulking and ashlyn HAD to be the one to step in. she do be the #1 portwell warrior. thank you for your service ma’am

i will only allow ricky and lily to be a thing IF it’s a summer fling, if it means antoine gets to stay around and if it pushes rini back together and if none of that happens then wtf is even the point of pairing those two up. but we already know ricky is a sucker for misunderstood competitive women (minus nini)

GINA CHASING AFTER EJ!!! HIS FACE OF JUST OH GOD PLEASE LET ME BE HEARTBROKEN!! YOU GOT BAD INTEL!! THE CAN I... CAN YOU WHAT? CAN I KISS YOU with her little giddy laugh and her smile GIRL YOURE GLOWING and then ej’s swallow as he turns to fully look at her. WILL YOU BE MY FIRST KISS!!!! HIM JUST SLOWLY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR AND DROPPING HIS BAG TO WALK TO HER AND THEN THEM RUNNING WHEN THEY GET CLOSER AND GINA’S LITTLE GIGGLING I CANNOT EVEN

i am so so SO HERE FOR SUMMER FLUFFY IN LOVE PORTWELL

overall am i a little sad it was so short? yes. do i understand the insane restrictions they were working under? yes. am i confident about a season 3? absolutely. i am HERE for a summer season.

anyways PORTWELL IS CANNON!!

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Black Umbrellas

Josh Lyman x Reader

Words: 2277

Part One

Summary: The funeral arrives and everything seems to fall apart. Josh tries to keep his temper in check with Celia, but soon the reason behind their ongoing feud is revealed. 

Notes: Josh is definitely one of my favorite fictional characters and it seems like more of you are liking his imagines. As always, comments are always welcome!- Side note: I know that it’s been forever since I posted part one to this, and I’m very sorry. I hope to be writing for more West Wing, including more characters. 

-

It was just like he would have wanted. The morning was bright and sunny and began with laughter. Josh was standing in the kitchen with your mother and something he had said made her laugh, making the rest of you feel a little lighter on a day that would leave a great deal of weight on your hearts. It’s how your dad would have wanted his funeral to start. Not with sorrow, but with the sense of being together. 

Your mother made blueberry pancakes for breakfast using your dad’s famous recipe and  the three of you had coffee on the porch. Celia and Thomas were still asleep, so there was no danger of an argument breaking out for now. 

“It’s a beautiful day.” Marissa hummed, taking a sip of her coffee. Josh nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, drinking in the morning sun as it rose over the trees. 

“How are you feeling?” He whispered as you rested your head on his shoulder. You shrugged. 

“Best that I can be, I guess.” He nodded in understanding and sweetly kissed the top of your head. 

“I’ll be here the whole time.” You placed a hand on his leg, drawing circles on the denim. You loved it when he wore jeans. It made him feel like he was yours for the day and not rushing off to assist in a national crisis. But even now, he was still the Deputy Chief of Staff. 

You probably noticed his pager buzzing before he did. He looked at you mournfully, his tone apologetic. “I’ve got a call from Leo.” 

You gave him a small smile and a node. “You better take it.” 

He moved out onto the lawn for some privacy and your mother gave your hand a gentle pat. 

“You picked a good one.” She smiled. You both watched as he ran a hand down his face, his expression morphing from saddened to angered to calm in a matter of seconds. 

“Is he seriously working right now?” Your sister’s shrill criticizing voice emerged from inside the house. 

“He’s the Deputy Chief of Staff for the President,” You scoffed, “the world didn’t stop just because he’s here.” 

“Sorry, I forgot. Not all of us are lowly small town journalists like me and dad.” 

“Are you serious, right now?” 

“No, you’re right, I’m sure it’s a matter of national security.” She spat and you stood up from the swing. 

“It very well could be!” You shouted. You wanted to slap her. Who was she to criticize Josh? 

“Girls!” Your mother finally interjected. You both turned your heads towards her and you immediately felt guilty, seeing the tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t do this today. Please.” 

“Sorry mom.” You both said, hanging your heads. While you could feel everything start to burn up in your chest, you pushed it down. You had to be strong today. Luckily, your own pager went off before any more arguing could occur. 

“Hey Sam.” You sighed in greeting, grateful for a distraction. 

“Hey, how are you doing?” His voice was sympathetic and sweet. Typical Sam. 

“Okay, all things considered.” You laughed lightly, hoping to keep the conversation from getting too emotional. “How are things there?”

“Crazy as usual.” He chuckled. “I just wanted to call and check in.” There was something in his tone that told you there was more. 

“Sam… something is wrong with the speech, isn’t there?” 

“Well,” He blew out a breath, “Since you pushed it back, we’re speaking after Congress is handing us our asses which means that Toby needed to make some changes so we don’t sound like-”

“Kids trying to start a fight on the playground?” You finished. Josh had said the same thing. 

“Yeah…” 

You thought for a moment, but couldn’t focus on any one thing. “Just make sure that he sounds like we’re still coming out on top.” It was the only thing you could do. 

“We’ll try.” He paused, but you already knew what he was going to say. “And Y/N-”

“I know.” You smiled slightly to yourself. “Thanks Sam.” 

You strolled along the wrap-around porch, hoping to avoid Celia for at least a few more minutes, telling yourself it was the stress of the day. She would cool off eventually. 

“I hope everything is doing okay.” Your mother’s comforting tone helped to calm you down. You shrugged. 

“As okay as it ever is.” She nodded with understanding. She knew how messy the political world was. It didn’t stop because someone died. 

Josh came back, the stress clear on his face. When he locked eyes with you, he tried to brighten up, but you could tell that there was something weighing down on his shoulders. You implored him with a look, but he shrugged it off. 

“The usual.” He whispered, draping his arm around you again. “Don’t worry about it.” He turned to your mother with a sad smile. “Leo McGarry and The President send their deepest sympathies.” 

“I appreciate that.” She nodded and looked out over the orchards. How was she so strong through all of this? You felt ready to fall apart at the seams, but your mother was the picture of grace. She always did everything for everyone else and now she wasn’t giving herself the chance to grieve. 

Celia had gone inside to make calls to the funeral home and Thomas was in town picking up groceries. He wanted there to be one less thing for all of you to worry about. 

With a few hours until the funeral, all you wanted was to make it through the day without any more arguments. Josh had a few more calls with Leo and did his best to hide it from your judgmental sister but there was still that tension between them. You took a few sympathy calls from Donna and C.J.- both of whom were very kind in expressing their regrets in not being able to make it to the funeral. 

It was about noon when the President called. Your mother must have spent an hour talking to him in her office before she came back into the living room, passing off the phone to you. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. President.” You started, forcing yourself to keep it together. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch you the other day before you and Josh left.” He sighed. “I wanted to give my condolences in person.” 

“My family and I appreciate it nonetheless, sir.” 

“I am truly sorry for your loss, Y/N.” His fatherly tone made you want to cry. Truthfully, you’d always seen President Bartlet as your work-father more than your boss. “Bill was a good man and a good friend.” 

“He would have been honored to hear you say that, sir.” There was a long moment of silence between the two of you as you both let those words sink in before he concluded. 

“He was always very proud of you, Y/N. I hope you know that.” 

Your breathing hitched as you held back a cry. “Thank you, Mr. President.” As you hung up, you tried to keep the tears from falling. Your quiet moment to yourself was interrupted by the sounds of whispers growing into shouts on the front porch. Celia and Josh. 

As you approached, their words became more and more clear. 

“When are you going to stop treating her like a child?”

“I’m sorry, but I figured I would let her go on thinking that her sister is a crazy lunatic!” 

“Keep your voice down! She’ll hear you.” 

“Let her hear, Celia.” Josh’s voice became a growl. “Let her hear that after all these years, you’ve just been jealous of everything that she’s been able to accomplish and you couldn’t.”

“I don’t know why we’re even having this conversation.” Celia scoffed. You opened the door a crack and watched her step closer to him. “I’m not jealous, Josh. I’m right. Y/N has had everything handed to her since the day she was born. She doesn’t deserve her job.. And she doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Josh ran a hand down his face and turned away, but she was persistent.

“We met first, Josh. We started seeing each other and then you fell for her little charms just like everybody else.” 

“You two were seeing each other?” You gasped, finally stepping out from behind the door. Josh let out a frustrated groan. 

“No, honey, we weren’t-”

“Is that why you two are at each other’s throats all the time? Because you were together?”

“We were never together!” He exclaimed. He reached to put his hands on your shoulders, but you stepped away, staring down your older sister. 

“You really think I don’t deserve my job… my husband… my life?” 

She said nothing. Her mouth formed a thin line as she gave you a silent, hard stare. You wanted to slap her. You wanted to scream. Instead, the sky let out a low, tumbling growl of thunder that served as the final straw. You looked up at the darkened clouds as the first raindrop landed on your cheek. 

“No no no no no. This isn’t what he would have wanted.” You cried, holding out a hand as more water fell. “It’s supposed to be sunny and beautiful and… and…” 

“Y/N,” Josh started, but you didn’t hear him. 

“I can’t deal with this right now.” Was all you said as you took off down the steps and towards the road. You didn’t know what to think, but the rain hitting your skin was enough to fuel your fury to hide your sadness. 

“Where is she going?” Marissa asked, feeling the tension in every thunder roll. Josh slammed his hand against the porch railing. 

“I don’t know. But I’ll take care of it.” He gave Celia a glare that could halt an army before running after you.

-

You ended up in an old tool shed somewhere in the orchard, your cries drowned out by the rain pounding against the wooden walls. Your clothes were soaked but you didn’t care. There was just an hour until the funeral and the storm didn’t show any sign of stopping. This was all wrong. 

Your dad was the only one who could have fixed this mess. Whenever either you or your husband fought with Celia, he was the one that could settle everyone down and make you all laugh until your sides hurt. What if you never laughed like that again? 

The rain turned into a soft- but consistent- drizzle and you were sure you heard the sound of a car approaching the shed. You heard your husband calling your name before you even opened the door. 

“How did you know I’d be here?”

He gave you a long, sad look. “When you ran off, your mother said it’d be best if I took a car so we’d have someplace warm to sit and talk. She said you’d probably come here.” He opened the passenger door of his car and just waited. 

Instead of running into the warm heat of the car, you ran into his arms. While you felt like you had no more tears to shed, your body just shook with silent sobs. After a while, he picked you up and put you in the car, quickly going over the driverseat so he could take you in his embrace again. 

“I feel so stupid.” You sniffed. “We’re supposed to be mourning dad and I’m running off like a child.” 

“Don’t beat yourself up.” He muttered into your hair. “Grief does something to our heads… everyone has to deal with it.” He pulled away to look at you. “I shouldn’t have argued with Celia.” 

“No.” You shook your head. “No, I’m glad I know what she really thinks of me. Of us.” 

He pushed a hair behind your ear and gave you a small smile. “You have to know that I would never hide something like that from you unless I thought it didn’t matter. Celia and I got drinks one time before I met you and now she likes to hold it over my head.” He sighed. “And don’t beat yourself up about what she said. You’re one of the hardest working, badass women that I know. You deserve everything that you’ve built.”

He kissed your forehead and you fell into silence again. Without any words, he knew that you believed him about Celia and that the whole thing was blown out of proportions by your sister’s need for attention. He just hoped that you and Celia could start over. As much as he despised her most of the time, he knew what it was like to lose a sister. 

“Why don’t we head back to the house and try and dry off before the funeral?” He suggested softly. You just nodded, laying your head on his shoulder as he drove back to your childhood home. 

-

It wasn’t the sunny day that you wanted it to be. Everyone stood with black umbrellas and somber faces and you did your best to keep it together. Josh held your hand the whole way through, his support not faltering for a single second. You knew this couldn’t be easy for him either and yet he was your rock through all of it. 

The clouds blocked the sun for the rest of the day but you told yourself that it was okay. They were the cloud-kingdoms your father always talked about. The ones he wrote in those little books tucked away in the house. And you took comfort in the fact that you knew, now, that he was up there with them. 

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

I have a drabble request for you, no pressure ofcourse,

Basically either of them is gone for a long time for a mission or project , there is no chance for communication between them ,.. yes i am asking for a emotional reunion.

thank you

Thanks to smells like teen Spirit for putting me in the right mood for this fic..

1460 days

TW- ANGST | hurt comfort |

With the light's out it's less dangerous, it was better, it was nice, he could almost pretend draco was here with him. It was easier when he laid in an Empty bed he made yesterday, both the pillows still very intact but he couldn't pretend when the air didn't felt the same, when the warmth didn't flood him, when he didn't heard the soft humming, he couldn't pretend he didn't feel cold, he couldn't pretend that his heart felt like an empty box lying in an attic..

But it was easier to pretend because he told him to. He told him it would be easier if he just pretended that he wasn't alone but how could he not. How could he not feel like he wasn't alone ? He was so alone and all his head ran was the painted picture of draco getting on board the train and going away.

Harry sighed to himself before he left a quivering breath, it was Only day one, there were 1460 days more to go.

____________________________________

" its fine you know. I'm doing fine. But I hope you won't mind I wear a lot of your clothes, they smell nice. You might also need to buy a new cereal box, I ate it all, they're good. You were right. Yes I did the laundry, It was hard at first but I did it. And cooking,ugh, I'm still learning to make rogan josh like you do, it never tastes the same. But you know everything else is fine, I spend a lot of my time with teddy, he asks about you by the way and- and -"

But harry couldn't go on. He gulped down his beer again, watching Draco's Empty chair in front of him with a faint smile until that very faint smile turned into little sobs. He laughed at himself in tears but couldn't stop crying.

" I miss you but what do you know, you're just an empty chair " harry laughed again as if it was humorous but it perhaps seemed funny now since he'd be doing this for days, it cured his heart only for a little while, it did.

" 1300 more to go " harry laughed again and chugged the rest of his beer until he fell asleep right there on the couch.

___________________________________

" can you make those smiles uncle Draco used to make ?" Teddy asked as Harry took of his apron.

" of course " harry whispered before he took the chocolate syrup and made a smile upon teddy's pancakes just like Draco used to.

" when is he coming back uncle harry ?" He asked again. Only if the Little kid knew what it did to Harry's heart, if only he knew he was stabbing Harry's heart with the fork in his hand, if only he knew that his heart had started bleeding and was creating a pool, if only he knew that Harry was controlling his emotions, if only he knew, if only he knew.

" 1100 more days love " harry replied.

" you keep a count of each day ?" He asked innocently.

Harry smiled before he nodded.

" you must really love him " teddy said and digged into his pancakes.

Harry stared behind teddy as if Draco was standing there with a small painfully smiled smeared across his face until that hallucination of Draco vanished and harry was very much reminded of his absence.

_______________________________________

" how are you ?" Harry sniffed " I'm good, I just miss you a lot. It's our anniversary, do you remember ?You're good right ? Teddy grew a little too old you know. Everyone missed you at his birthday. Molly gave me this sweater with your initials on it. They're not as good as your sweaters but I like it. It reminds me that you're here with me. Can you try to come back sooner ? Please, it hurts. Everything feels empty, even me.. please " Harry cried as he wiped off his own tears fell upon their photo frame they got just before Draco left for mission.

But harry was past the phase where he could pretend anymore. He missed him so much that every nerve of him that ran from his head to his toe, it begged to feel alive again. He couldn't do this anymore, pretending to talk to him, his thing's, his own pictures. He was tired of it but it was all that remained of him and it was driving harry insane. He missed him every night he went to an empty bed, In every flower he puts in the vase, in everytime he cleans, in every time he watched TV alone, on every holiday, in every couple he saw on the road, in every time he made his special Friday breakfast, in every time he breathed his sweater, in every time he showered, in every time he looked at the sky, In every time he walked into an empty home, in everytime he stood under the freezing rain, in everytime he woke up and saw an empty bed, in every music he heard, in everytime he danced alone sadly to his favorite music, in everytime he watched their wedding tape, in everytime he saw their pictures together, in everytime he walked passed the Hyde park, in every lyrics he heard, he missed him in every breath he took and pretending didn't work anymore.

" 700 more days to go " harry Whispered to himself as he tried sleeping in those lonely nights yet again.

____________________________________

" what ?"

" I tried to get out of it if it's any consolation harry. I don't want to do this but I have to, I have no other option " Draco had said.

Harry huffed before he crossed his arms " for how long ?"

" 4 years " Draco replied softly.

" 4 years ? Are you crazy ! No, Draco, you can't..you simply can't " Harry threw his hands in the air aggressively.

" I'm sorry harry, I have to, I can't get out of it. I'm really really sorry " Draco tried to make harry understand as he pulled harry closer to him and wrapped his arms around him..

"but Draco it's 4 years with no contact, how am I going to survive?" Harry asked worried.

" like I will have to " Draco replied, nuzzling his face into Harry's neck.

Harry shook his head before he kissed Draco's eyes and let the news sink into them.

_________________

" you'll drop me off right ?" Draco asked finally.

" are you trying to wreck me ? I can't watch you go Draco. I can't do that " harry replied.

" oh "

" love. No..I want to drop you off but I simply can't look at you going away. The thought of you going away alone wrecks me, it pains me and to watch you go away , I can't do that draco. I can't. I'm sorry love but I can't " harry replied.

" I'd liked if you would've came " Draco replied shrugging, his eyes brimmed with the usual tears like those of harry's.

Harry released a quivering breath before he stood up from the bed and paced to Draco and wrapped his arms around his torso, kissing the top of his head " then I will "

Harry Hummed to himself in low mummers his favourite song reminiscing Draco going away.

" but he's been gone for so long ?" Ron had asked

Harry only shook his head as he walked away. Nobody understood what it felt like. He felt lonely thinking of how only in this whole wide world Draco knew what was it like to have your love gone away for years you can grow so much in. People only assumed he must've adapted to living alone, adapted to not having talked to your lover, adapted of the normal moving life but there wasn't a day went by when Harry didn't miss the gallon out of him. He missed him too much and he Only wished people Would've understood.

He hummed again as he looked down at his lap to see the watch Striking day " 360 "

" I'll see you soon Draco, I'll see you soon " harry mummered to himself as he shut his eyes again in restless sleep but slept knowing he was going to see him soon, very soon.

_______________________________________

He looked at himself in the mirror, Patting his cheeks with shaky hands, wiping away the tears that didn't seem to stop. He breathed out a heavy quivery breath, rubbing his hands together, sniffing before he moved away from the mirror, picked up his trench coat and with much difficulty left the grey like house.

Harry Whispered incoherent words to himself all way long, practicing his smile, his speech, his movements for when he'd finally see Draco again. He practiced it all way long, even checking his breath until he reached the station and Draco hadn't Returned.

" he didn't return ? What do you mean he didn't return ?" Harry screamed at one of the crew members, his heart in a villains hand who kept plunging dagger into it over and over again.

" I- I- I don't know " the man stammered in fear and stumbled away running from harry.

Harry collapsed onto the ground, crying Loudly with a little care in the world of people watching him. Draco didn't return, he didn't..

Harry had prepared himself for everything, even to Draco forgetting him but the thought of never seeing Draco, he never prepared himself for that simply because he had too much faith but when he didn't step down from even the last of the trains, he cried like he never had before, his throat going sore from all the screaming, his eyes hurting with the unstoppable tears.

" harry, let's go, honey, let go " he heard faintly before someone helped his numb self up and walked him to the car. He doesn't even remember when he stopped crying and fell into numbness, he doesn't even remember how long he had been at the station or how what time or day it was, he didn't care. Draco hadn't came back and harry wasn't ready for it.

" he'll be fine Harry. Don't worry " it seemed like Hermione but harry cared lesser and lesser as his head thumped against the car window and he started crying again in silent tears.

He doesn't even remember when they reached his place and gave him food to eat, he didn't care, and he doesn't even want to..

" harry please" they begged but harry got up numbly from the chair and locked himself into the bedroom, sliding down the door and crying in lost Years, memories, in reminiscent of how Little time they had until he suddenly he heard soft whispers from against the door.

" love, harry "

But harry ignored thinking it was his mind playing tricks.

" its really me, I'm back "

Harry looked around the room looking for any signs of faint hallucinations but when he heard the breathing from other side of the door he stood up with a jerk, unlocking the door and his breath choked in his throat as he saw a very real Draco standing there with open arms and harry collapsed into Draco with so much force that they fell over the ground and he cried.

" I'm back love, everything is going to be fine, it's alright " he Whispered faintly as his voice broke too..

But harry only cried Loudly, in his chest, wetting the clothes Draco had been wearing. He didn't care the fact that they were still on the ground or that they were Lying before the bedroom door or that the cold air was sweeping in because of the open door, he only cared about those arms that wrapped around him, that smell, those hands, those body, him. He only cared about him.

" I thought I lost you " harry finally Whispered in sobs.

"I know. I'm sorry dear but I'm back and I'm never going away, ever. I promise " he too cried as he ran his hands through Harry's hair again.

" I missed you " Harry cried hugging him tighter.

But this time Draco couldn't respond and he cried more harshly, nuzzling his head into Harry's shoulder.

" I love you Harry, I'm never putting you through his pain again. Ever.. I'm sorry "

"you better not " Harry cried..

" I love you Draco. I love you so much " harry lastly said and he didn't spoke anything else, letting Draco take care of him in those tender arms, telling him everything was fine. He missed him.

The ignored clock on Harry's Wrist halted at the number zero and it never moved again.

Thank you @drarrywords for helping me through this..

300 follower's appreciation dialogue prompt requests open

Angst prompts request open

[marvel-and-mischief]

Daffodils

Part of my Floriography Series

Pairing: Max Phillips x GN!Reader Words: 1900 Warnings: unrequited love, angst, character death (sort of, it’s vampires!), descriptions of blood and gore, descriptions of dying, descriptions of violence Synopsis: Max is selfish, thoughtless, egotistical, and it might just lead to your downfall

Daffodils: Latin name is ‘narcissus'; based on the tragic myth of the beautiful Greek hero who fell in love with his own reflection 

💐

You could see him now, standing in his office, pulling a blue steel pout in the mirror and fixing his hair with a comb. It was eight-thirty in the morning and Max was readying himself for the day as he usually did, putting a smile on his face and looking good despite the fact he never dealt with customers in person. You supposed it was a state of mind; if he looked good, he felt good and could charm whoever was on the other end of the phone. 

You’re not sure if he knew you watched. Where your desk was situated on the other side of the room, you were the only person in the office that could see what he was doing. You’d never caught him looking at you, or even noticing you for that matter, but that’s how you liked it. Blending into the shadows, head down, getting your work done, and then you could go home on time. 

Giving himself a wink, Max turns around in one smooth pirouette and strides out of his office to greet everybody with wide arms and a toothy grin.

“It’s Monday morning, I know, it sucks,” Max rolls his eyes playfully and puts his hands on his hips in an exaggerated manner, “but if we drive our sales up today then the rest of the week will be a breeze. Come Friday we’ll be sipping on cocktails and laughing at Josh over there, hey Josh,” Max waves sarcastically at a man in the corner who is trying to shrink into his chair and hide his face behind his hand. Everybody except you and Josh titter at Max’s jab. 

Max claps his hands loudly to silence the room and waves in a ‘shoo’ motion to get everyone back to work before returning to his office. It reminded you of a theatre play, how rehearsed it all was, how perfectly he moved from one action to the other. 

That was why you’d started to watch him in the first place. Your train always got you into work an hour before you needed to be there and you’d noticed how he rehearsed things in the mirror in his office before anyone arrived. Motivational speeches to himself, happy smiles and sad smiles, even different types of winks (you knew he preferred his left eye). It was fascinating to see your boss, who was usually brazen and over-confident, practicing his personality for the day. 

Being unnoticed gave you the opportunity to observe him when he thought no one was looking. Like how you never saw him eat anything, only drink from a large flask which he never poured out into the cup that screwed into the top, which was odd but then he was an odd man. He had a subconscious quirk where he’d run a finger along his side parting and sometimes he’d catch himself doing it and look mournfully around his office, as though he was remembering something he’d rather forget. 

But you tried to get noticed sometimes, tried to bring attention to yourself in small ways, just to remind him you existed, that you were there. 

You brought lemon candies back from your beach vacation last Summer, had said you’d brought too many gifts for your family and thought he’d like them. It wasn’t true of course. You’d specifically looked for something to buy him but realised you didn’t know what he liked so had grabbed them in a last minute panic from a little gift shop next to the gas station. He mumbled a thank you without looking, not expecting anything more than that. But it had stung when you found them on top of the trashcan outside the office building. By the front door. He must have known you’d see them as you left the office that day and he didn’t care. Still, it hadn’t dissuaded you.

Sometimes Max would need someone to look over numbers on a Friday night and he’d asked you (via an email). You didn’t mind, there were always regular trains to catch and it’s not like you had anyone waiting for you at home. You tried to use those nights to pry open the enigma that is Max Phillips. You never got far.

The first time you stayed behind had mostly been a silent one. Max hunched over his computer whilst you sat opposite him. You had asked him about his weekend, only to receive a shrug and a muttered ‘out with the lads’. 

The second time you helped him with the numbers you’d managed to peak his interest when you placed your phone down on his desk, your screen lighting up to reveal your favorite movie as your background wallpaper. He’d looked impressed, a conversation starter on the tip of his tongue but instead of saying something, he’d taken a deep breath and pursed his lips before turning back to his computer. 

Had you offended him without realising it? Did he not like the way you worked? You couldn’t put your finger on why he treated you the way he did. 

-

Tonight was another Friday night that Max had asked you to stay behind, but it was far from ordinary. For starters there was a mug of freshly brewed coffee sat on your side of the desk when you entered. You looked questioningly at Max.

“Don’t you like coffee?”

You hurried to nod and sat down. That was possibly the most Max had ever spoken to you. It was what you’d always wanted; for him to acknowledge you as a member of his team, as a hard worker, as a human being. Perhaps you should have responded but you were in shock. You tried the coffee once it had cooled down, it was exactly how you liked it, how did he know?

The rest of the hour went by without either of you talking. You stood from your seat and handed him the closed file.

“Everything’s in order,” you said, putting your coat on and picking up your purse, “I’ll see you on Monday.”

Max grunted something unintelligible as you walked to the door. He spoke a sentence to you today, maybe it’ll be two sentences next week? You internally kicked yourself for letting him walk all over you. He didn’t care for you the way you cared about him, he didn’t think of you as much as you thought of him, when would you learn?

Before you passed the glass windows of his office you looked back to see Max looking in the mirror, fixing up his hair and smoothing down the front of his three piece suit. He looked in the mirror more than he ever looked at you. That should be enough to shake some sense into you. He’d never like you more than he liked himself, but the heart didn’t work on logic. Unfortunately. 

You shook your head and left him there to gaze into his own reflection.

It was dark and cold in the early evenings so pausing to pull on gloves and a woollen hat in the foyer before stepping outside was a must. Just as you were adjusting your hat over your ears you heard movement from a supply closet to your left. You froze, listening out for anymore noise, hoping it was just your imagination. It was deathly silent.

If it came to it you’d run back to the elevator and go and ask Max to check it out for you, damned if it made you look pathetic. If it was someone messing about Max could deal with it, if it was a trapped animal then you’d be doing the cleaning lady a favor in the morning by letting it loose tonight. 

You startled at the noise, turning just in time to see the door knob of the supply closet being rattled from the inside. You weren’t a naturally brave person but you were curious, some would say nosey. You found your feet creeping towards the closet.

“Is someone trapped in there?” You received no reply as you placed your hand on the door knob and slowly turned.

The door flew open suddenly and you were faced with a monstrous contortion of skin and bones, sharp fangs flashed in front of your eyes and then you were hitting the ground. You felt a hot sting of excruciating pain at your neck, like your flesh was being torn apart and warm liquid dribbling down your skin and soaking your shirt.

Your vision became blurry and unfocussed but you think you saw Max, or heard him shouting your name and in a haze of motion the man at your neck had been thrown across the room and then it was his face you were seeing hovering above yours. 

“You stay with me, you understand?” He was panicked you realised, his voice becoming shrill as he held you in his arms, a hand pressed to your throat to stop any more blood pooling out. 

“I’m sorry, I tried to prevent this, I didn’t want this for you.”

You frowned up at him, wandering what he meant. What was happening to you? Why did he care when he didn’t even look at you on any given day?

His brow was furrowed, his lips turned downward, a look of pity in his eyes and it made you mad. Furious. You should be pitying him. This man who loved nobody but himself, who cared for nobody but himself. He was selfish and prideful and didn’t deserve your kindness. 

The adrenaline coursed through your veins and you felt the overwhelming urge to grab him and tear him limb from limb, like you saw predators in documentaries rip apart the flesh of their prey. Max saw the change in your eyes before you attempted to reach for his neck and swiftly held you to his chest in a strong grip.

“I promise I’ll help you through those urges,” he whispered into your ear but it sounded like being underwater when someone was shouting at you from above, you couldn’t make sense of it.

“I thought, if I could keep you away from me then perhaps no one would notice you,” Max carried on but all you wanted to do was shut him up, press your fist into his mouth and stop him talking.

“Perhaps if I’d done the opposite, protected you by keeping you near me, this wouldn’t have happened,” Max carefully pressed your head to his chest, away from his skin so you couldn’t do him any harm. He knew exactly what you were going through and he wasn’t going to let you be alone like he was.

“Because of course I noticed you, how could I not?” 

You were crying now, and your head was pounding too loudly in your ears but his words were getting through to you at last. He’s noticed you? Then how could he treat you so terribly?

“Keep breathing, remember how it feels, it won’t be long before that stops.” 

You heaved in a sobbing breath and gripped onto his forearm that lay across your chest.

“What’s happening to me?” You managed to croak out. But did you really want to know that you were dying? 

“You’re being reborn.”

Permanent tag list: @autumnleaves1991-blog​ @phoenixhalliwell​ + @max--phillips​ 

[criminalmindskink]

So Pretty Boy Is Having A Baby

With closed eyes I draw a deep breath through my nose, my head laying against the bathroom wall. The alarm alerted me three minutes and twenty-eight seconds ago, the tests had results. All I have to do is open my eyes.

“Open your eyes Y/N.” my whisper full of tension with a hint of defiance. The cool wall against my hands felt calming, grounded me. Pushing off the wall I shook myself, being down in an attempt to calm my rapid heart beat. Opening my eyes I find the white tiled bathroom floor, dragging them upwards I find the cabinets below my counters, just a little higher the counter appears. The counter with five positive pregnancy tests. Positive, they’re positive. As my mouth shaped an O my heart began to explode.

Would Spence be happy? Beginning to pace the tiled floors my eyes began to water, my path moving towards the kitchen where my feet continually raced back and forth. “Alright y/n,” I started before busting into laughter, “we’re talking to ourselves now. That’s fine, everything is fine. Let’s make sure the test were correct first.”

Penelope Garcia

With a smirk and a sharp whistle the blonde’s eyes drag up and down Derek’s body, “Listen here Chocolate-” pausing as a shrill beep hits her ears causing her eyes to snap to the screen.

On the screen Y/N’s face popped up, grabbing the man’s attention as the hacker’s mouth dropped. Wheeling towards the keyboard she quickly closes the information out.

“Baby girl, why was my sister’s face on your screen?” His question snapped the thick silence of the normally happy room. If there was one thing he would protect, it was his family. Never failing to save the day and lift them up. Always there when one of them needed him, even if it was over something small.

Cringing Pen swirled around to face him, “So I kind of have this thing set up.” As she began to explain, her hands bolted in all directions. “It allows me to keep up with the team and our loved ones. Doctor’s, emergency calls, fraud purchases. Anything like that pings me, it keeps me ready.” Through the rapid fire of speech and her attempt to look calm he could see, something had happened. The blondes eyebrows were pulled together and her normally laid back personality had become tense and awkward.

“Then why is my baby sister’s face popping up?” Morgan points to the screen before arching an eyebrow, his hands on his hips as he walks a tad closer. “Momma does my sister need me?” His eyes are full of concern for the younger woman.

“That would be, because well. You see. She went to the doctor and well, she got a positive pregnancy test back” She explained before closing her eyes. Peaking through one she found Derek walking out of the room. “Oh no oh no,” she started before jumping out of the chair and jogging after him.

Y/N

Finding myself in the BAU elevator my hands begin to shake, paper in hand that would show Spence. Show him he would be a father. As the small space climbed the floors I began to pace. How would he feel? Would he want a child now? At this point of his career? Would he leave? “No.” I immediately grounded myself in a harsh whisper. He would never leave.

As the doors opened I shook myself, smiling before exiting the elevator. Walking through the pit I spot both Pen and Derek. Derek seemed a bit smug while she looked embarrassed, which is nothing new for the two of them. There’s no telling what he’d done now.

Not finding my target in the main room I steered for the break room, knowing a pot of coffee was one of Spence’s favorite things. Finding him pouring a cup I lightly stepped into the room, my nerves hitting like a freight train as I cleared my throat.

The sound sent him spinning in his spot, his eyes widening as he spotted me. “Y/N is everything okay?” He gently questioned before taking steps towards me. Placing his hand on my cheek he tilted his head, “you look like you’re hurting, what happened?” He questioned again before wiping a tear I hadn’t realized fell.

Looking towards the paper my hands unfolded it, smiling honestly before handing it to him. As he unfolded the paper my eyes moved to his face, watching for his reaction. His honest, unfiltered reaction. My smile widened as his eyes lit up, his lips forming one of the largest smiles I’ve ever seen him sport. “Congratulations Daddy.” I gently stated “I love you Spence. We’re having a baby.” I finished as his eyes launched to me.

With a joyful laugh he wrapped me in his arms, pulling back only to laugh again before gently grabbing my arms. “I’m going to be a father.” He paused as his smile lit up the room, “y/n you have no idea what this means to me. You’re giving me a baby.” He paused again before spinning in circles, finally stopping only to repeatedly open and close his lips.

For once the genius seemed to be at a loss for words, his response being to all but throw himself onto me as he peppered kisses down the side of my face to my lips. His arms tightening around me as if I’d disappear. Wrapping my arms around his torso a laugh flooded from me. With his lips to my ear he pressed one more delicate kiss, “Congratulations to you Momma. I don’t know how to thank you.” His own voice thick with emotion before he leaned back to find my lips again.

As another person cleared their throat we both paused to look, “So pretty boy. You got my sister pregnant?” He questioned from his position at the door, his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. Beside him stood Penelope, her face screaming I’m sorry before she smiled and launched herself onto us.

Spencer looked to Derek with a shy smile, “Yes well, I suppose I did. I sure hope it wasn’t anyone else.” He smiled before nodding the larger man into the room.

With a wide grin I opened my arms, “Come on uncle, come get a family group hug.” I ordered before pulling him into the gathering.

My brother laughed before wrapping his arms around us all, “Uncle, I like the sound of that.”

“There are two things in life for which we are never prepared: Twins.” - Josh Billings

[imaginesbymonika]

Broken Nose | sidemen x reader (platonic)

Prompt: it’s the anniversary of the sidemen and you reflect on your relationship with them

Warnings: fluff, angst mentioning of depression, eating disorder and childhood trauma and a broken nose

„The final person to join us on stage-.”, Will turns to Stephen, both men are dressed in suits:” She’s a really outstanding person, isn’t she.”.

“We consider her sidemen royalty.”, his friend answers, he glances at the audience:” She has nicknames such as ‘sidemen-sister’ and she grew up right in front of our eyes.”. Stephen makes a hand motion, behaving as if he’s wiping away a tear:” We were introduced to her at the age of 8, now she’s precious 18 years old.”. “Which is the legal age.”. “Legal age.”, The blonde YouTuber responds and makes a finger gun towards his friend.

Jj, who sits next to the sidemen in-front of the stage stands up and points his right index finger at them, in a playful but serious manner:” Very fragile and thin ice, boys! Very, very thin.“. Will puts his arms up in defense and takes one step back:” Just saying... just saying.”

“Now, give it up for Y/N Y/L/N!”.

While the audience cheers a young woman walks up the steps, she glows at Will and Stephen before standing behind the lectern. She lets out a sweet chuckle and leans closer to the microphone:” Legal age isn’t the equivalent to consens. Keep on dreaming, Stephen.”. Everyone in the room begins to laugh and clap, while JJ and Ethan both stand up to applaud. When the room becomes peaceful again Y/N stares at the seven men in front of her.

Y/N sighs:” Here we are, your guy’s 10th anniversary. How time flies- I couldn’t help but realize how I’m the only one here, who doesn’t have something written down beforehand.”. A few people laugh.“I began to write a speech, something poetic- but I just couldn’t. It didn’t feel right to come prepared- after all nothing in our relationship ever was. It just sincerely happened- developed over time. Like the day I met Simon and Harry shattered my nose-.”.

You perked up at the boy with the blonde hair, your face burned like crazy, and while everyone around you predicted you to sob or scream you were mute. “Oh shit!”, Simon, who stared at you uttered a profanity and ran a hand down his face:” Shit, shit, shit!”.

“I am so sorry!”, Harry, who sat down in front of you bits his lip, while eyeing your bleeding nose.“I think you broke her!”, Tobi said and took a deep breath while anxiously running a hand through his hair:” She isn’t crying... why isn’t she crying?! Her nose is fucking broken!”. “The ambulance is on their way!”, Ethan joined the group and squatted to look into your eyes:” You’ll be alright, you understand me.”.

“Why did she follow- gosh, my mom's going to straight-up slaughter me!”, Simon turned around, and your eyes follow his motions. „Dude, stop being selfish- her fucking nose is broken!“, JJ peeked at his friend with confusion in his eyes.

„Because you said - ‘Kate, stay at home.”, you explained suddenly and everyone stared at you:” That’s not my name, I told you my name is Y/N.”. “A know-it-all.”, Simon murmured. “Dude, you are a terrible babysitter.”, Josh shook his head and everyone nods their heads in agreement.

The audience laughs at your anecdote and Simon puts his hands in front of his face. “The next day, they all visited me in the hospital- possibly because Simon and Harry felt guilty, but afterward I began to be invited to help out with their videos every now and then. That’s how everything started. A broken nose hurt like hell, but I’m still happy it happened.“, you halt: “It’s so strange, I’ve watched you guys mature into these remarkable human beings- I still can’t believe that the last ten years happened. You were there for me, you’ve seen the good but also the bad and you still decided to stay.”.

“Okay, so-“, a sixteen-year-old Y/N who crouched on the floor looked up. The seven sidemen who were sitting on the couch stared at her with concern in their eyes. She took a deep, risky breath before folding her hands in her lap. “Y/N, you’re worrying us.”.

“As you guys know, I have been seeing a therapist recently- because of the shit that went on at home.”.

The boys nod. You had told them about the emotional abuse your parents had put you through, almost your full life. Ethan and Vic were the ones who had watched it first hand, both of them were equally shocked- they encouraged you to find the right therapist in the first place. “She said, I have several mental problems. Depression, trauma, and anxiety- as well as a mild eating disorder. Anorexia nervosa.”.

Without saying anything JJ got up and sat down next to you, he jerked you into a bone-crushing hug. One by one, the guys did the same- until all of them were squatting next to you on the floor.

“We will help you, no matter what. You’re our sister.”.

“I never managed to inform you, how much that meant to me.”, you tfeel how your eyes get teary:” You chose to stay, supported me- in moments when my biological family failed to provide me the emotional safety I needed...you were there and no phrases could ever properly express my gratitude.”

The seven guys, who are sitting in leather chairs in front of the stage perk up at you. Their eyes are filled with love and adoration, while JJ is the first one to crack. A few tears run down his cheeks, while Jack behind him offers him a tissue.

“Now look, I made him cry.”, you tease him, while letting out a weak laugh:” I don’t.”. You sniffle and everyone in the room laughs:” JJ, he once punched a guy for hitting on me inappropriately at a club.”, you glance into the camera and wipe away a tear while chuckling:” Don’t settle for less, ladies.”. Once again, the room laughs and a few girls cheer.

“Ethan, I don’t know if I ever told you that. But particularly you encouraged me a lot with recovering from my eating disorder.”, you look at him and his eyes widen in surprise:” I usually, don’t talk about my mental health. But you taught me, to enjoy food- or at least accept it again. To have you around, comforted me so much and I am so thankful for that!”. He lets out an unstable laugh as well and winks at you, while you can see him tearing up as well.

„I know, that I will never be eligible to pay you back for all the things you’ve done for me- but, what I can offer you are my devotion and support. I hope you know, that you will eternally have these two things.“, now a few tears are rolling down your cheek: “I may not always approve with what you seven are doing, and when I hear how you are doing some risky stunts for a video- I will proceed to shake my head and notify you how foolish you are, but at the end of the day, I’ll be the first one visiting you at the hospital. You are my seven brothers and I love you so so much.“.

You wipe the tears away: “Congratulations, guys.“. The audience cheers and you walk down the stairs, the guys stand up, and one by one you give each of them a bone-crushing hug.

You admired them.

[jessbakescakes]

Anonymous asked for: Josh/Donna - Griffin McElroy’s “exits” speech from The Adventure Zone.

Taking prompts from this post, this post, or this post!

“When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.” - Griffin McElroy, The Adventure Zone

Josh was used to people leaving his life. It seemed like an inevitability. He’d come to realize that he spent an inordinate amount of time preparing himself for the eventual departure of everyone important to him. At least, that’s what Stanley said. Stanley’s usually right.

Sometimes, he knew it was coming. Law school didn’t come with “See you next year, have a great summer” scrawled in yearbooks, after all. 

Then there were the failed relationships. He tried to date women who weren’t in politics, but he found himself having to “defend” his “inattentiveness” - when in reality, he himself felt unsupported, misunderstood, or generally lonely. And his time with the women who he met in his line of work usually ended badly, too. There was a distinct possibility that he was just bad at this, bad at relationships. But the more he tried to fix it, the less he understood what he was doing wrong in the first place. 

Of course, everyone knew about Joanie. About his dad. About Leo. Talk about abrupt and unfair departures.

The walls he built were impenetrable, an adamantine fortress to protect himself from the vulnerabilities of being human. He didn’t mind being vulnerable; he minded being vulnerable with nothing to show for it. So he just… stopped letting people in at some point.

The only person to ever come close to tearing down those walls was Donna.

Donna, with a metaphorical hammer and chisel, chipping slowly away at the barriers he’d spent all this time reinforcing. Donna, with her persistence and her selflessness, with her bright smile and her laugh and the way she would look at him for just a second too long, her eyes saying the words her lips couldn’t. Donna, who changed the bandages on his incision after Rosslyn. Donna, who used to sit by his bed to make sure he was still breathing some nights (he knew, even if he never told her he did). Donna, who brought him back from the edge of a breakdown more than once. 

But she left him, too. Almost for good in Gaza, then in Germany. Then she came back to work, quit her job, and she left him, over and over again. Or at least every time they walked away from each other, passing by one another on the campaign trail, it felt like she left him again. Watching her walk away without knowing when or if he’d ever see her again was a specific kind of torture.

He knows it’s not her fault. He doesn’t really hold it against her. He does blame himself sometimes, for not giving her more opportunities, for not being there for her after Gaza, for everything. 

And there’s nothing he wants more than to keep her from leaving him again. He just doesn’t know how to do that. So here they are, in Hawaii, Josh lying awake and hoping that Donna will grasp just how much he wants to make this work. 

“Josh,” Donna murmurs.

“Yeah?”

“You’re tossing and turning.”

“Sorry,” he says. “Just thinking. Got a lot on my mind, I guess.”

Donna turns over. “About what? Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Nah. It can wait. It’s nothing, really.”

“You sure? If it’s keeping you up, I don’t think it’s ‘nothing’. Talk to me.”

He lets the silence linger for a few moments, wondering how to put the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach into words. Josh has spent a decent part of their first day in Hawaii in his own head. Donna noticed, so she made it clear that she wants to hear what goes on in his head -- the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between -- but old habits die hard, and it’s going to take Josh some time to get used to sharing what’s on his mind in a way that effectively communicates what he needs and wants. 

“I don’t want to sound… ugh, I don’t know.” He doesn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“Open? Emotionally vulnerable?” Donna teases. 

“I was gonna say ‘needy’, but, point taken.” He takes a deep breath. “Sometimes I wonder if you’ll get sick of me.”

“What do you mean?”

Josh rests on his elbow and turns to face her. “I’m not great at this sort of stuff, Donna. That’s why I… did this. Brought you here, at least partly. I wanted to show that I’m in this. I know you gave us a timeframe to… figure things out, and I want to figure it out. I just don’t want you to leave before I get it together.”

Donna doesn’t say anything. She leans up on her arm and turns on the bedside lamp, looking him in the eye as he talks. He searches her face for some sort of hint as to how she’s taking this. She doesn’t look angry, by any stretch - if anything, she looks somewhat sympathetic, but he can’t be sure. 

The silence spurs him on. “I know you’ve seen me screw it up with people before. You have a unique perspective on all of this, having seen me self-destruct a million times. I want to get it together, I really do.” 

Her lack of a response is unsettling. He takes a deep, shaky breath, then exhales, sitting all the way up. He looks at her again to gauge her reaction, but her expression remains unchanged. 

“And now I’m dumping on you. And I’ve made it weird. See, I don’t know how to do this.”

“Josh,” Donna finally says. “You didn’t make it weird. I was just giving you space to process.”

“Oh. I think that’s the longest you’ve ever let me talk uninterrupted.”

Donna laughs. “Surely not. You’ve started and finished many a monologue in your day. Just maybe not about your feelings.”

“I can’t say I’ll make it a habit,” he quips. “Doesn’t feel very good. At least not when I’m not paying someone to get inside my head.”

“When was the last time you talked to Stanley?” she asks. “Have you called him since…”

“It’s been a little while,” Josh says, cutting her off before she says what he knows she’s going to say. She was going to say since Leo died, but truth be told, he hasn’t called before Donna went to Gaza.

“Do you think it may be a good idea to talk to him during the transition?” 

He nods. “Probably.”

Donna takes his hand. “I can tell you’re trying, Josh. I know it’s not easy. I want you to talk to me. I’m willing to listen and help how I can. But I also know you well enough to know that my brand of support is different than Stanley’s, and sometimes you need that, too.”

“You’re right,” he says. “Sorry, I kind of killed the mood. I promise I’ll call him when we get back.”

“Don’t be sorry.” All of a sudden, she smiles. “You must really like me, huh?”

He laughs. “What makes you say that?”

“You were pretty worried I was going to bolt,” Donna says. 

He looks at her for a minute before he leans in and kisses her, softly and slowly. Her hands find their way to his hair, pulling him in toward her as the kiss becomes more intense. He finally breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead to hers. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about that.”

“I think you will. Someday,” she answers, before reconnecting for another kiss.

Someday. He likes the sound of that.

[mosh-4]

sing for me

harry styles imagine:

sing for me – he hears you sing for the first time (fluff)

(i’m obsessed with THUNK a cappella)

.

.

.

he had come early. of course, you were happy to see him, but you had plans tonight.

--

             “’m home, pet,” a voice called from the hallway.

the voice belonged to a very handsome popstar who just so happened to be your boyfriend.

shocked at his arrival, you jump up from your bed, where you had your papers spread out on, and you ran to him.

             “haz,” you called excitedly before launching yourself into his arms.

he caught you in a tight hug before pulling you into a kiss.

             “hi, gorgeous,” he murmured against your lips. “how are you?”

             “better that you’re home,” you said pulling away from him so that he could put down his bags. “but i am curious.” he raised an eyebrow at you. “why are you home early?”

he chuckled and shook his head.

             “what?” he asked with a smile. “are you trying to get rid of me?”

you grabbed his arms pulling him back to you.

             “never. just curious.”

you traced mindless patterns on his chest.

             “hmmm,” he hummed wrapping you back up into his arms. “curious?”

you look up into his eyes.

             “yeah,” you said moving a hand up to trace the stumble along his jaw. “just curious.”

             “why? you got secret plans?” he joked.

             “i do. in fact, i’m supposed to meet up with friends tonight for these secret plans,” you say pulling back from his arms again.

             “really?” he laughed. “care to bring a ride along?”

you fully pulled out of his arms. you couldn’t let Harry come tonight. this is a part of your life that you weren’t ready to share yet.

             “no.”

you let go of him, and you make your way into the kitchen. Harry stood stunned in the living room.

             “what?” he finally spoke slightly shocked.

             “no,” you said grabbing a glass of water from the tap.

             “why?”

             “because.”

             “because? what are we? five?”

Harry was slightly hurt. he missed you, and you didn’t want to spend time with him now that he was back.

             “i have plans.”

             “and i can’t come to this said ‘plans’,” he said defensively leaning against the counter.

you took a deep breathe.

             “Harry, this is important to my friends,” you say. you didn’t know how to explain your plans to him without revealing what you were actually doing.

             “okay, and you don’t want me to go?”

             “i do, but-” you sighed. “i don’t know. it’s hard to explain.”

you pinched the bridge of your nose.

             “what it is? you can tell me,” he said now slightly concerned.

             “can i think about it?” you asked looking up at him. “please?”

             “of course,” he said hanging his head.

--

             “i don’t know. it doesn’t sound like a big deal to me.”

             “but, (y/f/n), it is. it’s embarrassing. it’s literally what he does professionally. it would be weird if he came tonight.”

you were putting on your makeup as you talked to your best friend over the phone. you were getting ready for the showcase tonight. tonight was a big showcase that ended a scholarship weekend for your university. this would be the last showcase that you would perform at with your university’s acappella group since this was your senior year.

             “let him come,” she said. “it’s not gonna hurt anyone. he can stand in the back with Josh.”

             “(y/f/n), he’s never heard me sing before.”

             “WHAT.”

--

Harry came into your room as you were grabbing your dress from the closet. he sat down at the edge of the bed.

             “so,” he said. “where are you going?”

you laid the dress down on the bed before slipping out of your clothes.

             “it’s a uni thing,” you said. your voice was muffled by your shirt as you pull it over your head. “you can come if you want. just keep an open mind, yeah?”

he smiled and folded his arms over his chest.

             “when am i ever not open-minded?”

             “an open mind about me, dingus,” you said pulling on your simple black dress. “it’s a showcase thing i have to do.”

             “showcase?”

             “yeah, it’s for scholarship applicants.” you walk into your in-suite bathroom. “if you’re coming, you’re gonna have to get dressed pretty quickly.”

with that, Harry pulled out a pair of dress pants, a button-up shirt, and a suit jacket. you stood in the bathroom quickly curling your hair as Harry came in fully dressed to fix his own hair.

you were both ready to go in 20 minutes. he drove you both to your university and parked in the campus parking garage.

as you make your way through the doors of the performance hall, you are greeted by other members of your group. you greeted everyone with hugs as you introduced some of your close friend to Harry.

             “are you ready to go backstage?” your best friend asks pulling your out of your conversation with Harry and some others.

             “yeah,” you responded. “hold on.”

you place a hand on Harry’s arm to get his attention. he turns away from his conversation with Josh, your best friend’s boyfriend.

             “hey, i have to go backstage. you can sit with Josh and watch, okay?”

             “yeah, that’s fine,” he said. “do you need me to take your coat?”

your heart warmed at the kindness in his offer. you shyly smiled.

             “yeah,” you respond. “that would be great.”

he placed his hands on the back of your coat to help you take it off. once you had your coat off, you turned to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

             “please keep an open mind,” you whisper to him as you gently wipe the lipstick from his cheek.

he gently held your other hand to his chest.

             “always,” he said looking into your eyes with a small smile.

             “we better go,” your best friend says pulling you and Harry out of your little moment.

you pull away from Harry and turn to her.

             “yeah,” you respond before turning back to Harry. “i’ll come find you after the showcase.”

he nodded to you as your best friend dragged you to what he could assume was the entrance to the backstage.

             “we should go get some seats,” Josh said breaking Harry out of his thoughts.

             “of course,” he said before clearing his throat. “lead the way.”

--

Harry was sitting in the back of the theatre. the whole auditorium was filled with high school seniors and their parents with an occasional college student thrown in with the mix. the back of the theatre held mostly college students who he assumed must have been volunteering at the scholarship weekend.

he was curious to see what this showcase was. he didn’t know of anything you did at the university besides your occasional study group meetings.

the theatre went dark as a presenter began his welcome speech leading into an introduction of the first act. a group of people wearing black, similar to you, entered the stage. they introduced themselves an acappella group before they started their first song.

Harry was intrigued. they had some talent, and he was impressed by their song choices. he watched each performance until the group switched, and a new group in all black came out. he smiled when he saw you standing next to your best friend.

he watched you stand in the back of the group for each performance singing with the rest of the choir as a soloist would come up to the microphone for each song.

his jaw dropped when you stepped forward to the microphone in the middle. you stood front and center in front of this crowd of over a hundred people, and you smiled.

             “hi everyone,” you said sweetly into the mic before nodding to the rest of your group.

he smiled as he stared at you. you looked so beautiful under that light. you were so elegant, yet simple, and he was so in love with it.

the sound of the choir singing the opening notes pulled him out of his thoughts.

you began to sing the first line. (LINK FOR THE SONG)

             “it’s not simple to say-”

             “oh my god.” “no.” Harry heard from a few college students a few rows in front of him. they were shocked by her song. a few laughed at their reactions as you continued to sing.

you sang with such confidence. your voice was so gentle, and it held so much vulnerability and emotion. he was in awe of you. how had he never heard you sing before?

his eyes welled with tears as he could feel the emotion in your voice. it was an extremely emotional song and to hear her sing it broke his heart.

             “if i’m honest, i know, i would give it all back for a chance to start over.”

your voice faded as you sang ‘over’. you sounded so defeated, and it broke his heart. the tears began to pour from his eyes. he wiped them away gently as he continued to listen to your voice.

he watched as you sang through the climax of the song with so much power. he smiled proudly at you.

the group resolved and settled at the slower tempo from the beginning of the song before you began to sing the last line of the song. you held the mic so gently. you voice was so light that it sounded like it would break at the slightest movement. the moment was so delicate.

             “she is gone, but she used to be mine…”

the room was silent for a moment after you finished the last note. Harry could hear the audience sniffle and sigh before it erupted in applause and cheers from the other students. you moved back to the group as they engulfed you in a hug.

the group then moved on to finish the rest of their performance.

--

             “hi,” you said meekly as you approached Harry after the showcase.

he pulled you into his arms and placed a kiss on your forehead.

             “that was so beautiful, pet,” he murmured into your hair. “’m so proud of you.”

you pull away to look into his eyes.

             “really?” you ask. you were skeptical.

             “i am, truly. there was not a dry eye in the room,” he said moving a loose strand of hair out of your face.

suddenly, arms wrap around your shoulders from behind.

             “she has that effect on people,” your best friend laughs in your ear.

you talked to a few more people before you and Harry left to head home.

--

you were towel drying your hair as you walked toward your bed. Harry laid on his back as he read on his phone. you crawled into the bed curling up against his side.

             “how come you didn’t tell m’ tha’ you could sing?”

             “i don’t know,” you sighed. “i felt weird telling you. it’s your job, and you’re this phenomenal artist. this is just something i did on the side with some friends. it felt silly to bring it up, and you know, my fear of criticism from people i love.”

             “hmmm,” he hummed. “that is a tricky thing, but you have no critiques from me. you’re amazing, love.”

             “thanks,” you say shyly as you trace patterns on his chest. “you’re amazing too.”

             “will you sing for me?”

you gave him an incredulous look.

             “ha ha, no,” you said before jumping out bed and running to the bathroom back to the bathroom with your wet towel before he could grab you.

he smiled at your goofy self. you could sing in front of hundreds but were too shy to sing in front of him.

.

.

hope you enjoyed! - mosh

.

[moss-lyman]

r20ebecca asked for 13/14 and I chose 14 from general :)

“Come back.”

She’s laying on the couch, still in her pajamas from the night before at 3pm and she’s a full box of Oreos deep as she watches old Facts of Life reruns. She’s picked up the phone about 20 times the last hour alone, but she stops herself from calling him every time.

She tried talking to him for weeks and he kept blowing her off. She didn’t do anything wrong, she doesn’t need to feel guilty for quitting. He’s only her boss, she doesn’t owe him anything.

Okay, that’s a lie. She owes him everything, but she can’t stay in that job anymore. It’s only making her angry and she may have been abrupt at quitting, but he wouldn’t listen. She had no choice.

It still hurts that he didn’t call, though.

She looks at the phone again, about to pick it up for the 21st time when a knock at her door startles her. She wraps her afghan around her shoulders and walks to the door, peeking out the peep hole to find Josh himself out in the hallway. She doesn’t open the door right away and he knocks again.

“Come on, Donna. I can see your shadow, I know you’re right there. Let me in.”

“Why?” she asks, still refusing to open the door, and she sees him huff indignantly.

“I need to talk to you. Just open the damn door.”

She rolls her eyes and flicks the lock before walking back to the couch, and Josh barges in.

“What do you want, Josh?”

He walks further into her apartment and looks at the television. “TVLand?”

“What do you want?” she asks again pointedly. “State your business or go home.”

“Go get dressed,” he says, walking to her kitchen and opening the fridge for a water bottle.

“What are you talking about?”

“And hurry,” he says, looking at his watch. “We have less than 2 hours.”

“For what?” She stares at him like he’s grown two heads. “I don’t work for you anymore, remember?”

“Donna,” he says, cocking his head toward her bedroom. “Go get dressed.”

She sits up. “Are you okay? Have you hit your head and you have amnesia or something?” He sets the water on her coffee table before walking around and physically lifting her off the couch. “Josh, I don’t know who you think—“

“Go get dressed. I’ll explain in the cab.” He nudges her to her room, but she digs in her heels.

“I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me what the hell is going on.”

“We’re going to Houston.”

“Texas?”

“No, Romania,” he deadpans, giving her a look. “Yes, Texas.”

“What the hell is in Houston?”

“Matt Santos.”

“Congressman Santos? The one not running for another term?”

“Correct,” he says, grabbing her carry-on from her closet and throwing things in it. “Now, get dressed. We have a flight soon.”

“Josh, stop,” she orders, grabbing his arms. “I don’t work for you anymore. I’m not going.”

“I know you don’t work for me anymore, Donna. The temp from Hell has made me well aware of that. I’m telling you, you’re going with me.”

“I already have another job.”

He actually laughs at that and Donna’s eyes flash. “Working for Bingo Bob is not a job. It’s a death sentence. He’ll barely make it to the Convention.”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “Will offered me an opportunity. I’m practically second in command with their campaign.”

“I’m telling you you’re actually second in command with my campaign.”

She freezes. “Santos wants to run?” Josh doesn’t answer her, just shoulders the backpack and heads to the door, but she steps in his way. “Josh.”

“I have a nine point plan, okay? I’ll get him to run.”

Donna is the one to laugh now. “You’re ambushing him.”

“No,” he says before looking at her. “We are ambushing him.”

“Where is this coming from? 24 hours ago, you wanted nothing to do with me, and now you’re offering me a promotion?” He runs his hands through his hair in a way that tells her he’s nervous, not angry, but she doesn’t let up. “Josh.”

“I never said I didn’t want anything to do with you, Donna. I was busy. You knew my schedule.”

“Yes I did, that’s why I made an appointment for myself which you chose to ignore many times.”

He turns around to look at her. “I wasn’t ready to leave the White House,” he says quietly. “I made a commitment to Jed Bartlet and I intended on seeing it through, but then Leo’s telling me to go and you leave and it’s like it’s not even the White House anymore.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m asking you to come back. Go to Houston with me and if it doesn’t work, then I’ll leave you alone.”

She looks at him long and hard, trying to see if he’s lying, but she knows he isn’t. “What do you mean by second in command? I refuse to be your assistant, Josh. I want more than that and if—“

“Not my assistant,” he assures. “You’d be like senior staff to Leo. What I was doing the first campaign.”

“We’re gonna need a speech writer.”

“Does that mean you’re in?”

She bites her lip for a moment, but doesn’t have to think very long. “I’m in.” He goes back into high-speed motion, but she stops him. “I have a couple conditions.”

“Name them quickly. We really gotta go.”

She brings her hand up to tick off her fingers. “I will not file or type a single memo, note, press release, or whatever else for you. You’ll do it yourself or hire an assistant. You don’t come to me for the admin garbage. Number two,” she says pointedly when he starts to walk out of her room, “my opinion holds weight.”

“Your opinion always holds weight.”

“Well, this time around, I don’t have to run everything by you first. You’re not my liaison to the Congressman.”

“Anything else?”

“I get a massive salary bump if he runs and we start making money.”

“Fine. Let’s go.” She still won’t budge. “What?”

“You have to shake on it. I need your word, Josh.”

He drops the bag he’s been carrying and stands up straight, reaching his hand out for hers. She grabs it and he looks her right in the eye. “You have my word. If we pull this off, all those conditions will be met. I swear.”

He shakes once and she grins at him before taking her hand back and pushing him out of her room. “Get out of here, I gotta get dressed,” she says and shuts the door on his equally happy face.