#the joke's not funny if you have to explain it Bob

[minart-was-taken]

The wild references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail

Hello, in this post I'm going to go over the various references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail (Also touching a little on HI3) and explaining them the best I can so that non-finns can understand how hilariously delightful they are.

_

Starting with a funny one: Welt Yang.

The man is canonically 1/2 finnish, 1/4th chinese and 1/4th german according to sources I dont understand.

The way this is represented in Honkai Star Rail comes in one intentional form and one that may be an accident but I love it anyway:

1.

Welt's given name is Joachim Nokianvirtanen, a name that is utterly hilarious to a finn like me. Why? Well Nokianvirtanen is not a surname anyone here would ever have. Virtanen is a real surname, but for some reason Mihoyo decided slap Nokia in the front of it??

The name translates to "Nokia's rapids." Which adds to the funniness because yes Nokia is an actual place in Finland and not just the brand, but it is also very much the brand.

(Also Joachim is not a finnish name even if many finns are christian.)

This is the equivalant of naming an american character Jesus McDonaldslake.

2.

Welt's hair colour! A lot of people imagine blond and blue eyes when imagining a finn, but that's not actually accurate to the statistics. The most common hair colour here is in fact "Maantien harmaa." Translating to country road grey. Sometimes they leave out the word grey or replace it with blond. The colour is known as dirty blond or pale brown in english speaking countries 👍 This is less funny and just a cute detail.

_

Secondly we'll be going over Sampo Koski, a man many know to have a very finnish name.

BUT FIRST Fun backround info: I didn't know Sampo was in this game when I first started playing, so when he showed up and suddenly dropped finnish words at me I was utterly jumpscared.

Finland is very rarely referenced in media outside of our country, so most of us are NOT used to hearing anything about our home in media.

Furthermore there's actually a meme about this very thing that everyone in the country knows: Torilla Tavataan. This translates to "Lets meet at the marketplace" which is referring to the idea that when something massively cool happens we should gather together and celebrate.

The finns REALLY want to be acknowledged by the wider world lol

Anyway back to Sampo. His name is actually something I could totally see a real finn having, although his first name is a little out there.

Sampo is an item from finnish* mythology that was forged by a super capable smith with the help of his whole village. The item is golden with multiple spouts that produce valuable things like flour, gold and I believe... salt? You can find more about the item online.

Koski meanwhile means a river rapid. Uhm, lotsa water themed names here, huh!

Nothing that funny going on with his references to be honest. I can even say the voice actor did an amazing job pronouncing his name correctly.

_

Yunli's companion quest!

This is the newest batch of references I've ran into, but if I or anyone else finds more I'll be updating this list :]

In Yunli's companion quest we meet... Paavo. His name is Paavo--

This NPC introduces himself as a traveler from far away who's come to deliver a sword from his homeland back to the Xianzhou where it was originally forged. Here's why he made me giggle uncontrollably every moment he was on screen.

1.

Paavo is considered kind of a joke name, very comparable to naming someone Bob in america. The way NPC's referred to him sounded like "Mr. Bob" to me. It was so funny

2.

He is from the PLANET KALEVALA?? SAFlJ LJ ???

Kalevala is the national epic of Finland* and tells stories such as the one of Sampo's creation. The title does refer to setting of the story, but it is still weird to hear it as a name of a planet lol.

3.

Our food is really repetitive u right Mr. Paavo

4.

Paavo explains the sword he has come to deliver is called Miekka Kivessä. This is the finnish translations of "The sword in the stone." he proceeds to then explain the legend of the sword in the stone, which. It's not a finnish legend. We've never had a king, yet alone chosen them with a sword-- Not even in myths. Kalevala's highest ranking guy in the mortal realm is Väinämöinen who's an old wise man.

Also he says Miekka Kivessä wrong but that's to be expected, very funny, and also I admire the effort to at least try and make it sound natural.

5.

Finally, he later reveals his last name-- Which, why are we refering to him as Mr. Paavo if he has a last name...? Oh well! Mr. Paavo's last name is Kalastaja, which translates to Fisher. This is not a real last name in Finland. The english equivalent of this man's goddang name would be something like Mr. Bob Employee.

_

Since you've made it this far I assume you won't mind me rambling a bit more. I'm personally psyched to see Finland mentioned in non-finnish media and love the wonky but genuine attempts to include us!

I think considering how many weebs there are in Finland who've come up with illogical "Asian names" to sound cool online, it's only fair we got the same treatment back :P I hope they'll keep delivering and I'd love to visit planet Kalevala one day.

_

*It's worth noting Finland is a colonizer of the Sami people, and a lot of their culture has been annexed without any care or respect towards them.

Finland was also under colonialism itself for hundreds of years, and our myths have been largely lost to time with only some information left. It's super difficult to tell what is finnish mythology and whats the Sami people's mythology.

That's a fact that's deeply important to remember when discussing things like this, and I hope that the people reading this consider looking into how to help the indigenous people of the nordic region. Thank you.

[leclercstars]

under the table ;)

Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Lando’s “friends with benefits” decided to make his stream a little more interesting

Warnings: 18+! Oral sex (m. receiving)

You didn’t mind how casual your relationship with Lando was. It kept things light, fun and exciting. You two weren’t dating- never even really mentioned the idea of it. You didn’t love the term friends with benefits- but that’s really what it was. Fuck buddies was how you chose to refer to your relationship status- and that worked for you.

When he was streaming on Twitch you’d be sitting on the couch waiting for him to finish up so he could take you right then and there. You had never tried anything particularly freaky- until everything changed one day.

You were sitting in that same spot on the couch waiting for Lando to be finished when a wave of horniness crashed into you. It was almost painful- you had an urge that needed to be fulfilled. Why wait?

You silently creeped into the room where Lando was streaming- being extra careful to not appear on camera. You crawled under Lando’s desk- as he was trying not to change his expression too much- occasionally shooting you confused glances.

You started palming his cock through his grey sweatpants- causing him to gasp and then hastily explain that he had just thought of something really funny that he had to share. You were having a lot of fun this- watching him trying to keep it together.

Once you had gotten him hard- you took his cock out of his sweatpants, immediately putting all of it in your throat. He audibly moaned into the microphone- and laughed loudly afterwards in an attempt to play it off as a middle-school boy joke. You were looking up at him with the fuck-me eyes you had mastered, knowing that was making it even harder for him to keep control.

You swirled your tongue around his tip- causing him to moan again which made his teammates react in disgust and burst into peals of laughter. He laughed again- this time a lot more strained as you continued to bob your head on his incredibly large cock.

You could tell he was close- the way it was starting to twitch on your tongue. His cum shot far down the back of your throat- causing him to let out a gasp that he struggled intensely to hide. He smirked down at you.

“We should do that again,” directing the statement to both his teammates on the stream and you.

[attapullman]

Bob From Stats | Robert "Bob" Floyd

Summary: College is a wild time, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the quiet guy from Stats riding around campus as a cowboy. Or what a good kisser he is.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: f!reader, smut, 18+ ONLY as always, dry humping, alcohol, drunken party games, mentions of studying because that gives me PTSD, semi-exaggerated Greek life for theatrical reasons

A Note From Mo: Somehow my frat!Bob, drunk Bob is Rhett, and 7 minutes in heaven ideas all rolled into one fic - wild! Massive shoutout to everyone who listened to me talk about Stats Bob (who is now officially my #2 Bob, I love him) and for supporting this here lil blog. May you find a hobby-horse-wielding future WSO to sweep you off your feet too!

If you liked this, you may also enjoy on our syllabus Bob From Pi Kapp.

“I hate this. I’m going to quit school and become a stripper.”

Anna gives you a wry look. “That joke was only funny the first time you said it.”

“So you admit I’m funny!”

The two of you have been spread out in the library the majority of the evening. Textbooks, snacks, and highlighters littering the glossy dark wood. You’re on hour five of assignments and your brain is pounding against the front of your skull. Your other classes aren’t too bad, a bit time consuming, but Statistics is a foreign language. Thinking in probable numbers? It was one thing when the nice guy who sat behind you helped explain concepts, but Anna does not have quite the same analytical mind.

The sky outside is an inky black and the library is quiet except for your frustrated huffs. It’s Saturday night. The rest of campus is indulging in cheap beers at Barney’s, slinking along Greek Row, or enjoying tonight’s episode of Saturday Night Live. It’s time to get out of here and crawl into your soft bed. Torturing yourself with Stats homework will be just as painful on Sunday.

“If I buy us a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough, can we blow this off and hang out back at the dorms?” Anna is nodding before you’ve even finished. Stuffing notebooks into backpacks and capping pens low on ink, you’re strolling down the library stairs not even five minutes later.

As the balmy evening campus air hits your face, you already feel fresher. Campus is quiet, late enough that most people are settled into their Saturday night plans. As the two of you near Greek Row, there’s a comfortable silence as you appreciate the breeze through the trees and the warm glow of campus housing windows.

That is, until a low whoop rings out. An undercurrent of boisterous cheering and what sounds like stomping feet. You exchange eyes with your roommate. What is that?

As if summoned, a group comes galloping through the neatly trimmed cypress trees around the corner. They’re stomping their feet in a rhythm, hands held mid-air to imitate holding reigns. Drunken laughs ring out between cries of “Whoa!” and “Steady there, Lucky!” To round it off, the leader of their horse play (literally) is full-on cosplaying as a cowboy, his jeans tucked into boots and a Stetson perched atop his head. 

Wait, is he holding a hobby horse? It’s been decades since you’ve seen those horse heads stuck on a stick. The stuffed felt Appaloosa head is reigned in the cowboy’s hands, where he pretends to spur it back into action. 

Just when you think you’ve seen it all.

The group continues its way toward you and you’re equally secondhand embarrassed and amused. As they grow closer you recognize a few guys from the Pi Kapp house and wave. But it’s Anna who makes the most shocking discovery when Mr. Cowboy tilts his brim up.

"Is that Bob from Stats?" 

It takes a second to look past the brown felt hat and the hobby horse he's taking for a spin, but that's definitely the same pink-cheeked Bob Floyd who has lent you a pencil all semester. 

“Howdy, ladies.” He tips his hat to you, all toothy grin and droopy drunk eyes. "Can I offer you a ride?"

You stare open-mouthed. Shocked. That slow rancher drawl is new. The unbridled confidence is new. Actually, the entire getup is new. For nine weeks you’ve seen him in the same trucker hat and sweatshirt combo while going over homework answers together. What is going on?

He’s clearly in the middle of his house party crawl, bright blue eyes half open behind his metal frames. Just as gorgeous as ever as a tendril of sandy hair curls against his forehead. Normally your reaction to him is tender, a puppy dog crush. But this wild, inebriated version of him? You’re hot under the collar.

“You think there’s room on your horse?” Ever since that first Stats class he’s made your brain feel like it’s on RedBull. The way he noticed you missing a writing utensil and offering you his extra. His kind smile when you get a homework answer completely wrong. Anna hasn’t noticed your crush, but it feels obvious with the way you can barely keep eye contact with him yet are unable to look away. Especially with that stupid cowboy hat on.

He bites his lip, considering your response, and his buddies all razz him as he drawls out, “There will be if we squeeze in.”

The wink makes your mouth dry.

Someone from the back of the group complains of the cold and the group prepares their steeds to head back to Pi Kapp. Anna explains you’re headed back to the dorms, tone deaf to the sexual tension, and Bob nods with his brow furrowed. 

“Another time then.” His white tshirt practically glows in the moonlight. “Have a good night, chickadees. Get home safe!”

With another tip of his Stetson to you, Bob Floyd gallops away toward another keg. 

You’re sprinting across campus, cursing how late your meeting with your advisor went. There was ten minutes to get across campus and he had spent four of those questioning whether you really needed another semester of French. You make it into the lecture hall with a minute to spare, finding your preferred spot in the lower rows where you can actually see the board. Right in front of Bob.

“What? No cowboy hat for class?” His cheeks flame red, the hope you’ve forgotten about his Saturday antics lost. He looks like himself today, his signature trucker cap keeping the hair off his face. Those friendly ultramarine eyes shyly focusing on his notebook because god forbid he makes eye contact after you’ve seen him gallop across campus on a fake horse. 

He rubs the back of his neck over his soft-looking crewneck, an awkward smile playing on his lips. “It’s at the cleaners.”

You give him an amused grin before settling yourself into one of the classically uncomfortable lecture seats. Anna waves to you from where she’s rushing in, historically always late. The professor is shuffling notes at the podium as she collapses into the seat next to you, nodding her head in greeting to you and to Bob. She raises her eyebrows to you, a “remember when Bob was dressed as a cowboy” gesture, and your lips twist happily. 

“Alright, class, who’s ready to talk probability?” The collective groans and hollers mark the start of lecture. You flip open your notebook and start digging around for a writing instrument in your bag. Like usual, you seem to be missing a pen or pencil when you need one most.

A tap on your shoulder. You turn and lock eyes with the frat boy-turned-cowboy with the shy smile. He holds out a pencil to you. Taking it sheepishly, you mouth a thank you and turn back to lecture. After nine weeks it shouldn’t be this embarrassing, but every week he’s given you a pencil since you whispered shoot! a little too loud on Week 1.

Risking a quick glance back at him, engrossed in the Empirical Law of Averages while he twirls his pencil, you’re not sure you can survive the rest of the semester.

By the end of the Stats lecture on Thursday, you have one brain cell to your name and seven pages of notes. What a brutal class. Midterms were quickly approaching and not a single professor had any mercy. As you pack up your stuff - including the borrowed pencil that would promptly disappear before next class - you make a study plan with Anna for that evening. She brings the chips, you’ll supply the vodka.

“Are you two not hitting the houses tonight?” He looks uncomfortable having interrupted the two of you.

Bob shifts his backpack to his other shoulder, adjusting the collar of his navy blue sweatshirt. Other than when he’s kindly exchanged homework answers before class - or been drunkenly galloping across campus - the two of you don’t speak much. The odd quip here and there, but overall the two of you exist in pencil-sharing quiet. “Everyone’s having pre-midterm parties before buckling down to study.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!” You look at Anna encouragingly. As needed as a vodka-infused study session was, one night out couldn’t hurt. And it was Thursday. No classes tomorrow meant you had three days to buckle down and attempt to understand anything you’ve learned this semester. 

She eyes you warily, but agrees that Greek Row sounds like a better option than highlighting textbooks. Bob flashes you his timid smile beneath the brim of his cap. “It’ll be a fun night. Maybe I’ll see you? If not, have a good weekend!” 

As he starts to walk out, a feeling takes over you. “Bob?” You watch him slow down and turn, wide blue eyes watching you from behind those unconventionally cute glasses. “You’ll be at the Pi Kapp house, yeah?” He nods. “Cool. See you around!”

Despite standing next to it the entire conversation, neither of you notice the pencil sitting on the desk, left behind as you head out for your respective weekends.

“What did you say?” You’re practically yelling to be heard over the EDM that Sigma Chi is blaring. They’ve turned their house into a rave with glow sticks, body paint, and music so loud your eardrums must be burst. The beer is warm, your arm has supernaturally purple paint smeared across it, and Anna has been unsuccessfully telling you a story for ten minutes.

Huffing, she grabs your arm and drags you toward the entrance, tossing your cups onto a random hallway table where a heated makeout session is taking place. They move out of the way just enough so the two of you can slip out of the old colonial house and out into the cool night. The ringing in your ears subsides slowly as you lean against the columns of the front porch. 

“House number three? Also sucked. Three strikes and you’re out? Can we go home?” Anna grabs your wrist and pouts. She wanted movie night with vodka and a pizza from Pietro’s. You wanted to blow off steam.

But Alpha Sig had mostly been freshman and Phi Delt, while not a terrible party, had the most smarmy men on campus. The bleeding eardrums of Sigma Chi was preferable to pushing off men in polos just to grab another drink. You just wanted a semi-decently flavored alcoholic beverage - maybe three - while chatting with some friends. You weren’t asking for much.

Allowing Anna to drag you in the direction of the dorms, ready to admit defeat, you slow to a stop seeing the bricked entrance to Pi Kappa Phi. Bob’s fraternity. A few minutes wouldn’t hurt, right?

It takes a little convincing, but soon you’re in the warmly lit foyer of the Pi Kapp house. The vibe is more relaxed than Sigma Chi, with a keg in the corner, an array of liquor bottles in the kitchen, and hip-hop softly filling the house. You’re impressed they’ve even gone the extra mile with multi-colored string lights across every surface to brighten up the otherwise dark house. 

“Yooooo, how’s it going?” A drunken loaf of snapback and Deep Eddy envelopes you in a hug. It’s Tyler, one of your freshman seminar PK friends. Exchanging pleasantries - the best you can with someone that far gone - he drags you further into the house. Miscellaneous groups of Greek and geed litter the hallways. Anna sees her friends from Delta Gamma and ditches you, promising to get home safe. Tyler continues on his mission to god knows where.

At least he’s considerate enough to stop in the kitchen so you can grab a whiskey lemonade to sip.

Eventually you’re spat into a sitting room of sorts, groups crowding the ring of sofas while drunkenly jeering at the game. You set yourself on the arm of one, trying to make sense of the theatrics. The latest victim laughs out a “Truth!” before everyone giggles wickedly. Are they playing truth or dare? 

Your eyes gloss over the group, trying to figure out who else you know. A few PK’s you recognize, a girl who smiles but looks unfamiliar, and…a cowboy hat that is a dead giveaway.

Standing up and walking around the group, you tap him on the shoulder. The biggest blue eyes meet yours, a surprised smile splitting his face. 

“You made it!” That deep drawl is back and that tingle reappears on your spine. Bob jumps up from the couch, beer bottle dwarfed in his hand, and comes to stand with you. “You having a good night?”

Ironically, your night is much better now that you’ve found him. He’s back in his cowboy gear, a worn denim shirt tucked into his jeans and those same cowboy boots scuff against the hardwood. You’re tempted to steal the felt hat from his head just so he looks a little bit more like Bob from Stats. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, letting the alcohol be an excuse, you succumb to the obvious question. “I need to know - what’s with the…cowboy?” You gesture up and down, drawing a chuckle from him.

He blushes under the felt brim. “You know I have a slight accent, yeah?” You attempt to stifle your laugh as he incidentally talks in a thicker accent. “When I was a pledge they started calling me cowboy. Saw the hat while I was in town one week, ended up leaning into the joke.”

“And the hobby horse?”

He beckons you closer, bringing his lips to your ear. “Stolen from my little sister over summer break.”

There’s that wink again making your knees weak. He pushes his glasses back up his nose and takes another sip from his beer. Despite the party raging around you, nothing else seems to exist past him asking about your night and if you want another drink. You’re wrapped in the warmth of his words, itching to snuggle into his broad chest. 

The spell is broken when “Cowboy Bob!” rings out from the crowd. The entire room is turned to you two. “Truth or dare, man?”

In the background of your intimate conversation with Bob, the truths and dares have reached full raunchiness. People have been stripped of clothes and dirty secrets. A bead of sweat gathers at Bob’s collar, aware that neither option is safe. 

His worried gaze flits to you, as if you hold the correct answer, before tipping his hat back and exhaling, “Dare?” 

It’s gutsy, but if there’s one thing you’re learning about the quiet guy from Stats, he’s full of surprises. The crowd bubbles with excitement, anticipating what dare will be dealt out. Next to you, the wannabe cowboy looks more annoyed than anything. He was enjoying talking to you not in a classroom and with a little liquid courage.

An evil smile crosses the dare-dealer’s face. He knows Bob and isn’t blind to what’s going on. He’s gonna help his buddy out on this one.

His arm stretches out and he points (with the red plastic cup in his hand) to the coat closet at the end of the hall. “Hmmmmm, I dare you to, hmm, play Seven Minutes in Heaven with…” It’s no surprise when the cup-turned-pointer lands on you.

Ice water down your back wouldn’t be as panic inducing. It’s hard to tell who swallows harder, you or Cowboy Bob. Every instinct is telling you to run, but that little voice in the back of your head wins out. As Bob starts to tell you it’s okay, they’re joking, you don’t have to, you grab his thick wrist and give him a nervous smile. You don’t even care what the punishment is for not completing a dare, this stupid drunken game has given you an opportunity.

The dealer of the dare follows the two of you down the hallway, leading the whoops and wolf whistles. Bob’s cheeks flame scarlet in the low light. You keep your chin high and eyes forward. He can definitely feel the way you’re trembling around his wrist.

Whether in anxiety or excitement it’s hard to tell.

The inside of the closet is dark, the faint light under the door casting only the faintest of shadows. Your heart is pounding, blood pulsing through your ears. Bob rubs his lips together nervously. It’s all you can do to not run your tongue along them. 

“We don’t have to do anything, we can just talk.” The way he prioritizes your comfort makes heat pool between your legs. The brim of his hat is as far back as it can go, his eyes tracing the lines of your face as he gauges your emotions. He’s welcome to figure them out, you’re unsure of them yourself. 

His large, warm hand rubs your forearm comfortingly, your skin too cold without his touch. You’re suffocating under his sweat-and-bergamot scent, citrusy and warm.

You bite the bullet. “What if I want to?”

His breath stops. Fingers find yours in the dark, interlocking on either side of your hips. Eyes you know are the deepest blue lock onto your gaze, a million emotions passing behind his irises. Face descending upon the space between you, tentatively showing his intentions. You meet him in the middle, caution out the window.

The kiss is gentle, puzzle pieces slotting together for the first time. He tastes like malt sugar and peppermint. Mouth warm and soft, enveloping you fully in his comfort. It’s even better than what you’ve imagined for the past nine weeks.

Bob begins to pull away, ever the gentleman. Your hand finds his collar, holding him in place. “Not yet, we still have, like, five and a half minutes.”

Despite the low light, his smile lights up the closet.

His lips return to yours in a rush, swallowing your mouth in a passionate heat. The press of his body to yours is delicious. Hands previously at your side meet your hips, lightly squeezing as you moan into his mouth. You reach up and hold the back of his neck, bringing him even closer as your lips toy with the tiniest bit of stubble along his jaw.

“You know,” he starts, holding the moan in the back of his throat. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since September.”

You pull back momentarily, a crinkle upon your brow. “Bob, we didn’t start Stats until January.”

He kisses the confusion from your face, his hands wrapping further around your body. “And you looked very pretty in that green dress at the homecoming barbecue.”

Bless your love of school spirit and free food. “Why didn’t you? Kiss me?”

“I don’t normally make a habit of kissing girls I don’t know. And clearly it takes an entire fraternity for me to get you alone.” The way his chuckle bounces against your skin has you squirming. Your schoolgirl crush on him wasn’t one-sided, and suddenly you’re hot for teacher. 

You capture him in another kiss, tongue searching the seam of his lips for entrance. He obliges immediately, groaning as you explore his taste. Four hands roam skin, finding purchase in anything and everything. Your body has a mind of its own as you press against him, chest heaving with your passion. The right shift of fabric on fabric reveals that he’s equally as affected by the chemistry.

Reluctantly, he pulls away once more, threading his fingers across the back of your neck. Takes a moment to capture his breath as he sees the lust in your eyes. A deep breath. “As much as I like you, I don’t want to do anything if you’re drunk.”

Soft fingers follow the line of his arm to where it wraps around your waist. How is he this impossibly sweet? Thoughtful, respectful, and looking hot as sin with swollen lips. It’s unfair.

“I promise I’m not.” You stroke the back of his hand. “Please kiss me?”

His large hands unwrap from your waist and travel down, shifting behind your legs and pulling you up, resting your back against the wall. You tangle your legs around his waist as best you can in the small space, relishing his firm body pressed deliciously close, warm and solid. Kisses smeared across lips and jaws as noises crescendo. You’re panting as you trail down to his impossibly long neck, desperate to cover it in affection.

You’ve barely explored the expanse of skin when the door flies open, the boisterous party sounds flooding in. Reality strikes like a slap across the face. The truth-or-dare ringleader takes you in - legs wrapped around Bob and hands creeping toward your ass - and whoops in delight. Who knew Cowboy Bob had it in him!

“Time’s up, lovebirds!” He crows and reaches forward to slug Bob lightly on the shoulder. 

Not skipping a beat, Bob shoves his friend back and throws up his middle finger. “Fuck off, Milburn.” 

The closet door slams shut, blanketing you again in the intimacy of the moment. You’re looking at him with unsure eyes and he’s praying the moment hasn’t been ruined. He’s waited seven calendar months for this opportunity and his fingers are so close to enjoying the plump squeeze of your ass.

“We can go back to the party if you want?” Your voice is so small, nervous outside of those bold seven minutes. Tentative breaths exist between you. 

In lieu of an answer, he bows his head to give you a searing yet gentle kiss.

That cramped coat closet suddenly is an inferno, his tongue slipping inside your mouth and groaning at the burning sweetness of your taste. Your hands grip his shoulders as you fight for dominance, fingers tangling in denim. Hips brushing together, still clinging to the idea of this being innocent. 

An innocence immediately lost when Bob strikes up the courage and palms your ass. Soft and pliable and perfect to squeeze in his palms. He remembers the exact day you came to class in the tightest jeans known to man (laundry day) and the way he had dug his pencil in his palm to avoid a semi as your curved ass met the lecture seat. Something unavoidable now as you squirm against him, moaning your pleasure against the pulse in his neck.

Nothing has ever felt as good as rubbing against Bob Floyd’s clothed bulge. One glance down and you’re dizzy with arousal. Rutting yourself against him as best you can with your limited mobility, sloppy kisses exchanged as the two of you can barely keep your mouths closed. It feels so good, too good. 

Lost in the moment, one hand slips below the hem of your skirt, warm skin on skin. Any noise from outside the closet dims to a hum. Two hearts beating rapidly as desire fully consumes, directing lips to too hot exposed skin. You murmur your need in his ear. You don’t care where you are, you need him.

Bob tucks a finger under your thong, feeling the slick coating your folds. The whine that leaves him is desperate and gruff. He groans against your throat. “Shit, I don’t have a condom.”

Undeterred, your lip catches between your teeth, core muscles contracting as you grind your hips forward. “Doesn’t mean I can’t go for a ride.”

He’s immediately on board, teasing you briefly before extricating his hand to support you better against the wall. His hands practically swallow your ass, flooding you with lust. You thrust your chest against him, desperate to touch every spot on his handsome body as your hips begin to grind. 

His hands are sweltering as they trail down, effortlessly clutching the back of your thighs to give you leverage. Your clit finds friction against his jeans and your mouth hangs open as you buck frantically into him.

“Look at you move, cowgirl,” he breathes out, infatuated. The nickname spurrs you on, whimpering against his lips.

One hand clutching his bicep, holding on for desperate life, while the other snakes its way atop the damned cowboy hat that’s stayed on the entire encounter. Gripping the top of it and holding fast as you ride his clothed bulge with everything you’ve got. Denim and lace against your clit, rubbing deliciously as your brain fuzzes. His hot mouth focused at the hinge of your jaw, sucking soft bruises into the skin; moaning when you brush him just right. 

“I’m close,” you whisper against his cheek. Time has stood still, but it’s embarrassing how close he’s gotten you to orgasm with just his clothed cock and strong hands. 

He ruts his hips forward, meeting your thrusts in heavenly synchronization. You’re panting as the pressure on your clit catapults you, so close to the ultimate prize. Whispers of you can do it, cowgirl, cum for me, doing so good riding me, just a bit more, cowgirl fizzle your senses. 

“O-oh!”

It’s intense, the blinding pleasure coursing through your body. Prolonged by the thick bulge still rutting against you, ready to burst itself. Lips tickling your ear as he praises you. You want to live in this perfect moment of bliss. A moment only perfected when Bob’s fingers grip too hard and his hips stutter up into yours. His all-consuming orgasm only muffled by the skin of your shoulder as he rides it out. 

The rhythmic slowing of your breaths is all you can focus on. You breathe in, he breathes out. Small smiles and a blush barely visible in the low light. 

Delicately, like he knows you might break, he releases you back to the ground; taking his time to smooth down your skirt and straight out your top. Your own hands reach up to his chest, fixing the fabric that had bunched up in your passion. Adjusting his fogged glasses to look into his beautiful eyes.

It doesn’t matter how much you clean up, one look at you two and anyone would comment you’ve been ridden hard and put away wet.

With one final kiss to your lips, you feel something land on your head. The brown cowboy hat with the rip along the edge. Cowboy Bob showing off his cowgirl.

You tentatively open the closet door, eyes adjusting to the normal light. Painfully aware of the wet splotch on the obvious front of his jeans, Bob holds your body against him as a human shield. The party is still going strong - your antics have not interrupted anything - and you slip toward the front door without notice. Well…mostly, as a few wolf whistles reach your ears.

“It’s not that late, you want to go back to mine? I’m just off Thornton. It’s quiet since everyone is here.” His eyes are so hopeful in the dark night. So desperate for you to say yes. For you to be his cowgirl beyond tonight.

You wrap your arms around him and pull him close, careful to avoid the spot where your bodily fluids have drenched his jeans. “I’m in.” Your smile is blinding. “We have about nine weeks of Stats to make up.”

The brick is uncomfortable behind your back, but it’s hard to care when his lips feel so good. Broad shoulders shielding you from the hallway, trucker hat turned around and glasses in his pocket so there’s not an inch between your faces. Agreeing to meet outside before lecture was such a good idea.

Despite spending most of the time between Thursday night and Tuesday afternoon in Bob’s apartment trying every position in the book (with teasing hollers from his Pi Kapp roommates adding to the soundtrack) you can’t help but steal these five minutes. He looks so cute, to not kiss him would be a crime.

Bob squeezes your hips, lips trailing down your jaw. “What’s on your mind, cowgirl?”

“I’m trying very hard to convince myself that we pay a lot of money to attend this school and should go learn about statistics. Even though I really only want to head back to my dorm and see how sturdy that loft bed is.”

From where his nose traces your ear, a guttural whine leaves him. “You can’t say something like that and expect me to go to class.”

You pull back to look at him, fingers tickling the close cropped hair at his neck. God, he makes it so hard to want to be responsible.

“Let’s make a deal, okay? We’ll go to class, learn, and tonight you come over and for every study guide question you get right I’ll take off a piece of clothing. Sound good?” He’s practically panting as he smothers your mouth in another kiss. He’s really good at Stats. A steady stream of students files past Bob’s back, a sign that class is about to start.

You press another kiss to his lips. “Let’s go or we’ll miss out on seats. Plus I need to dig through my bag for a pencil.”

“Do you think you actually have one today?” He smirks, amused. The eighteen pencils he’s lent you say otherwise.

Your cheeks are hot under where he kisses them. “Uh…if I don’t can I borrow one? If you have one, that is.”

He lets out a soft chuckle and holds you closer, rubbing your noses softly.

“You do realize I’ve been buying pencils all semester just to give to you, right?”

Turning his cap around - insides fully melted - you know you’re in this rodeo for the long run.

Want more Frat Cowboy Bob? Hang out with Bob From Pi Kapp!

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[somethinginthewayiam]

The girl behind the bar (Part 4.2)

pairing: Jake Hangman Seresin x plus-size reader

warnings: banter, bad pick-up lines

words: 3.6k

Summary: After Penny allowed you to open the bar for the few navy pilots, you hang with your group at the pool table since you weren't actually working and you challenge Hangman to a game of pool...

a/n: I hope you have as much fun reading this chapter as I had writing it. It's probably one of my favorites. All the pick-up lines used in this chapter are courtesy of the instagram page of jimmyandnath. Check them out, they're really funny.

Link to my masterlist

“Who’s ready for the first round?”, you called out and everybody basically ran towards the counter. By now, you were used to those kinds of rushes, they didn’t scare you anymore. You collected their credit cards and opened the tabs before you placed a few bottles of beer on the counter and opened them in a row. Then you filled the glasses with the beer from the tap and handed out a few tumblers with Whiskey, Bourbon or Jack Daniels. Everybody spread out across the bar, someone put some money in the jukebox and filled the room with music. Counting yourself, there were 13 people in the bar but they managed to make it sound like thrice the amount.

Since you weren’t actually working tonight, you grabbed a beer and walked over to the pool table where your typical group of people had settled for now. It was nice to get the chance to sit down with them for a change. Normally you were working and didn’t have time for a real chat, only some small talk or, in Hangman’s case, a little back and forth of jokes and banter.

“Hey Y/N, up for a round of pool? We’re playing two against two”, Fanboy asked you. You found Hangman and Coyote on the other side of the table, revealing who your opponents were going to be. You always wanted to play against Hangman and this was your chance. “Sure”, you simply said and hopped off the bar stool at the wall. Bob handed you his cue as he walked past you and took your seat.

“I always see you play every time you’re in here. Let’s see how good you really are”, you challenged Hangman when you stepped up to the table. “Oh, I am good, I’m very good”, Hangman assured you.

You put the end of the cue down on the floor and it slipped from your hand. “Whoops”, you said in surprise and picked it back up. When you stood straight again, you caught Hangman and Coyote exchanging a look like it would be the easiest thing in the world to beat you at this game.

“How we’re gonna do this, Fanboy?”, you asked and tried again to lean on your cue. “Uhm, okay, we’re playing team against team, meaning every time it’s our turn we take turns playing the ball”, he explained to you and didn’t look so excited about forming a team with you anymore.

“And do we play with the fully colored ones or do we play all and just see who’s quicker?”, you asked and had trouble holding down your giggle. Even to your own ears you sounded stupid. “That is determined by the break”, he answered. “Who’s taking a break?”, you asked bluntly. “I mean when we shoot the first shot, we’ll see which we sink first and we play the rest of that color”, he explained and almost looked pained.

“Okay, then let’s go”, you said enthusiastically. Hangman had a wide smile on his face. He couldn’t wait to start playing and wipe the floor with you.

“Wanna make it interesting? How about a little bet?”, Payback stepped forward. You looked at Hangman and he looked at you, challenging you with his eyes. “I don’t think we need to put a bet on it”, Fanboy chimed in, sounding nervous. “Alright. What do you suggest?”, you asked but looked at Hangman.

“When I win, you have to serve me every drink with a bow and a ‘here’s your drink, my master’ for a week”, Hangman suggested, his look dead on you. The fact that he used when and not if didn’t go unnoticed by you. You let your tongue run along the inside of your bottom lip as you contemplated.

“Okay. And if I win you have to work a shift at the Hard Deck, call me boss all night and literally do anything I tell you to. You’ll be pretty much my bitch”, you countered his bet.

You saw how his jaw stiffened, his teeth grinding and you had to bite down on the inside corners of your mouth to keep them from curling upwards.

He extended his hand and you took it. “The bet is on”, he almost grunted. His grip tightened around your hand. “Nervous?”, he asked, not letting go just yet. “Only about the many glasses you’re gonna drop during your shift”, you threw back at him with an equally low voice.

Coyote and Fanboy stood off to the side, exchanging looks and already regretting being your team mates.

“Alright, let’s do this”, you said, walked back to where you were first sitting, pushed your cue into Bob’s hands and took a sip of your beer. You used the hairband you had on your wrist to tie your hair back up into a ponytail. Meanwhile, Coyote set up the balls in the triangle on the other side of the table and after doing so, placed the plastic triangle on the little table behind him.

You took your cue back from Bob’s hands and walked back to the table. “Who’s starting us off?”, you asked in the round, looking at Fanboy, Coyote and then Hangman, who was smiling, confident of victory. “Ladies first”, he said and placed the cue ball on the marked spot on the table.

“I can take the first shot”, Fanboy came a step closer, whispering, looking as concerned as can be. “I got this, don’t worry”, you whispered back and winked at him.

“Gentlemen”, you announced with a loud voice, focusing everybody’s attention on you and you took the two steps to stand directly in front of the cue ball. “We’re playing 8-ball on a 9-foot-regulation table. I will start us off with the break”, you said, bent forward, aligned your cue with the cue ball and took the first shot.

You watched as the balls spread out on the table, a solid and a striped one disappeared in the pockets. “Table is open”, you announced and walked around the table to where the cue ball had landed and aimed your next shot. “Solids, number 2, right side pocket”, you announced your shot and after a second of aiming, you sank your next ball.

“Fanboy, you’re up”, you told him and looked up from the table. You found everybody looking at you with dumbfounded expressions on their faces. Your face lit up with a confident smile.

“Wait, what?”, Fanboy called out and said what everybody was thinking. “What the hell just happened?”, Payback asked. “I played a lot of pool in my twenties”, you simply said and shrugged your shoulders.

“Why did you act like you haven’t seen a pool table from up close before?”, Coyote asked. “And miss out on the stupid looks on your faces? No way!”, you told him and shot a big smile at Hangman, who was suspiciously silent.

“Come on, Fanboy”, you called him again, nodding at the table to take his shot. He walked to where the cue ball had landed and started to aim at the number 5. “Take the 7, over the head rail”, you advised him and motioned the way the cue ball had to travel with your finger in the air. He breathed out loudly, indicating that that wasn’t an easy shot for him. “You got this”, you patted his back.

Fanboy took a beat to think about the shot. “Number 7, left side pocket”, he announced, aligned his cue and took the shot over the head rail like you had told him. The ball came a bit slow but he managed to sink it. “Yes!”, he called out and you high-fived.

It was your turn again. You grabbed the chalk and gently wiped it over the tip of your cue, holding the eye contact with Hangman, a sugary sweet smile on your face. You blew the dust off the cue tip, still looking at him. Only after that, you took a look at the table and decided on your next shot.

“Number 1, bottom right corner, over the long rail”, you announced the shot and executed it perfectly which earned you a few Ohs and Ahs from your little audience.

Fanboy was up again and despite his best efforts, he didn’t manage to sink the ball and now it was, finally, Hangman’s turn. “Okay, let’s get this over with”, he said, rolled his shoulders back and bent his neck to either side as he stepped towards the table.

“12, upper left”, he said and quickly sank the ball. You took a sip from your beer, not getting nervous. His cockiness will ultimately be his downfall, you could only hope that the time has come tonight. You did everything in your power to make that happen.

Hangman went on to immediately align his cue with the cue ball again. “Hey, it’s Coyote’s turn”, Rooster called out Hangman’s little cheat. Jake presented Rooster with a death-glare before he rose up again and took a step back. You and Fanboy exchanged a little smirk as Hangman seemed a bit nervous.

Coyote, sadly, couldn’t handle the pressure and missed his shot. “Come on, man”, Hangman called out in frustration. “Oh, is it me again?”, you asked with playful innocence and walked towards the table. You heard Rooster chuckling behind you.

The cue ball had landed on the opposite side of the table and you had to walk around to where Hangman was standing. “Excuse me”, you said and looked up at him from under your lashes. If you weren’t mistaking, you heard him growling at you before he reluctantly took a step to the side.

You scanned the table. For the solids, the numbers 4, 5 and 6 were left before you had to sink the 8-ball and would, ultimately, win the game and the bet with Hangman. But with how your balls were set on the table at the moment, every shot was tricky.

You chewed on your bottom lip as you went through the possible shots in your head, visualizing them. “Okay, number 6, left side pocket”, you announced and bent forward to place the cue on the edge of the table. “How?”, Phoenix asked confused as the cue ball was nowhere near placed for that shot to be possible in her eyes. You extended your arm and let the cue shoot forward, hitting the cue ball, which bounced off the opposite long rail from where you were standing, hitting the short rail and coming straight for the number 6, not only sinking the ball but also stopping in a perfect place for Fanboy’s next shot.

“Like this”, you said to her and stood up straight again. You turned to look at Hangman and said, “Geometry, baby!”, and shot him a sly grin. When playing pool, your cockiness could match his and you weren’t the slightest way sorry about that because you knew you were good at it. Hella good!

Fanboy sank the number 5 with ease and now only the number 4 was left. But it was an impossible shot and everybody saw it. And if you weren’t sure already, you only needed to take a look at Hangman’s face which lit up like a child’s face on Christmas morning.

“Okay, we all see it, I’m gonna say it. There’s no way I’ll sink that ball, but here goes”, you said. Since you knew it was about to be Hangman’s turn, you at least tried to place the cue ball as shitty as possible. He still had a lot of balls on the table though, so it wasn’t impossible to hit something.

“Oh, is it my turn again?”, he asked cheerful and came up to the table after taking a sip of his drink. “13, upper left”, he announced and sank it. “10, right side pocket”; Coyote stepped up and sank his ball too. Now they had finally found their flow and sank ball after ball. Your hopes of beating Hangman at something died little by little with every ball he and Coyote sank.

Hangman was about to sink his last ball before the 8-ball. “It was nice wiping the floor with you two”, he said with a slimy voice and bent forward to take his second to last shot.

He indeed sank the last ball but he also sank the cue ball and therefore immediately forfeited his turn to you.

Everybody gasped including you. The expression on Hangman’s face was a picture for the gods. “Oh my!”, you called out and hopped off your chair with big eyes. Fanboy still had to sink the number 4. It was a hard shot but not impossible. Like a real fighter pilot, he withstood the pressure and sank the ball.

Now, only the 8-ball was left on the table. They only thing you had to do was sink it and you could call sweet victory our own. You emptied your bottle of beer and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

You stepped forward towards the table and stood next to Fanboy. Everybody’s eyes were glued to the table while you studied the placement of the ball and whispered to your team partner about the ways to sink it, all while swiping the chalk over the tip of your queue.

“Okay, how about you shoot the cue ball here, not too hard, have it hit the second diamond. Then it should go into the bottom right”, Fanboy suggested as he walked halfway around the table and placed his finger on the spot where he suggested for you to aim.

“Stop helping her”, Hangman called out, looking increasingly more nervous. “They’re on the same team, Bagman”, Phoenix said before she took a sip of her beer.

“Everybody shut up”, you said in a loud voice and bent over to take your shot. You aligned your cue and took a deep breath, focusing on the spot where Fanboy still had his finger placed.

You took another deep breath and when you exhaled, you pushed your cue forward and took your shot. It got really silent as everybody watched the white ball hit the spot at Fanboy’s finger than rolling back into your direction, hitting the 8-ball just enough to have it roll towards bottom right pocket. It moved slowly but consistently and your grip on your cue got tighter as you watched it for every long second until it finally fell into the pocket.

Hangman looked at the pocket in disbelief with big eyes and let his head hang in defeat.

“AHHHH!”, you screamed out in surprise that it actually worked just like the people around you. You threw the cue onto the table and ran towards Fanboy, who was coming at you equally excited and threw yourself into his arms. “Oh my god, I can’t believe we won”, you told him with big eyes as you pulled back at an arms-length. “It was all you, Y/N. That was amazing”, Fanboy congratulated you.

You felt hands on your shoulders that were squeezing and shaking you. When you looked over your shoulder you found Rooster looking like a kid on Christmas morning. He was just so happy that Hangman just got it handed to him. “That was awesome”, he congratulated you. “Thanks”, you said with a bright smile that you just couldn’t wipe off your face.

Your eyes fell on Hangman who was coming towards you. He extended his hand. “Congrats! I didn’t think you’re gonna make that shot”, he said as he shook your hand. “Are you gonna be a sore loser?”, you asked. “I don’t know, I haven’t lost until now so we’ll see”, he said and the cocky tone in his voice was back. That didn’t last long. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Well, then I’ll make sure you don’t forget this moment so you get a LOT of practice”, you said and it sounded like a promise.

“Let’s raise our drinks to Y/N, the defeater of Bagman”, Phoenix called out and everybody raised their bottles and glasses to toast to you. Even Jake managed to grab his beer and give you a little toast while you smiled in the round and bathed in your victory.

A little later, everybody was sitting in little groups at the tables, the jukebox was playing in the background. You were sitting together with Fanboy, Payback, Rooster, Phoenix, Bob, Hangman and Coyote after handing out more drinks and somehow you had arrived on the topic of stupid pick-up lines.

“Are you my pinky toe? ‘Cause I bang you on the table seven times a day”, Fanboy said and some of the guys nodded, other’s laughed, you and Phoenix rolled your eyes.

“Is that a phone in your back pocket? ‘Cause that ass is calling me”, Coyote said. “I like that. That would work on me ‘cause my ass is great”, you said and clinked the neck of your bottle against Coyote’s. You must really be a bit drunk to just say stuff like that to everybody.

“Okay, I got one. Are you a shark? ‘Cause I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow”, it was Paybacks turn to be gross. “Come on”, you called out, pulled a face but laughed anyway.

“My dick is so polite, it stands up so you can sit down”, Bob suddenly spoke up. The table got quiet and everybody looked at him with big eyes, seriously surprised that those words had just come out of his mouth. “Ma man”, Coyote leaned forward and patted Bob’s shoulder. The whole table erupted in laughter “Dude, you’re making me blush”, you said and in return made him blush. “That’s a good one, I gotta write that down”, Fanboy said and jokingly pulled over a napkin like he was actually taking notes. “Yeah? Let me know how that works out for ya”, Rooster commented with a chuckle and took a swig of his drink.

“Are you a washing machine? Because I have a load for you”, Hangman said and everybody groaned. “Hangman, don’t make me ring that bell. You know the rules”, you warned him and pointed at the sign hanging in the middle of the bar circle. “What did I do?”, he asked surprised. “You’re bordering on disrespecting women”, you told him. “Your whole existence is a disrespect to women”, Phoenix chimed in. “I just said what everybody else said. Why is it gross when I say it?”, he asked honestly offended. “Because everything sounds gross when you say it”, Phoenix lectured him. “Whatever”, he said and threw some empty peanut shells at her which made her laugh.

“Why is it always about banging and swallowing your stuff? What happened to ‘Hello, my name is…Can I buy you a drink?’ or ‘You look beautiful, I would like to get to know you’”, you asked into the round, honestly irritated. Phoenix nodded agreeingly while she took a sip from her drink. “Those phrases have been worn out, they don’t work anymore”, Payback waved it off. “Works when you haven’t heard it that much”, you mumbled at the rim of your beer bottle before you took a sip. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hangman looking over at you.

“You have to be clever, creative or those chicks won’t give you any attention”, Fanboy chimed in and pulled everybody’s attention on him. “And you wanna tell me that a cheesy pick-up line talking about your jizz will earn you more numbers than an honest ‘Hello, how are you’?”, Phoenix asked and shook her head. “Works on the right girls. I like ‘em freaky”, Fanboy answered her and wiggled his eyebrows.

“No wonder, you never get laid”, Rooster commented and made everybody laugh.

“You guys need a new round?”, you asked to change the topic. “I think we’re good for the night”, Rooster said and finished his beer. “We’ve got an early call tomorrow”, he added and got up from his chair.

“Hey, everybody! Pack it up”, Phoenix shouted and earned a few groans. It was already past 10 PM.

Not only did everybody collect their things, ready to go, but to your surprise, they all brought their bottles and glasses to the bar, placing them on the counter.

“Wow, thanks guys. Why don’t you do this every time?”, you jokingly asked as you closed the tabs and started handing back all the credit cards.

“Do you know how you get home? You shouldn’t drive”, Rooster asked as you handed him his card. “A bunch of you shouldn’t drive home anymore”, you countered. “We all Uber home and get our cars tomorrow”, he replied. “Oh okay, sounds reasonable”, you nodded and collected the glasses off the bar. “You should come with us, we get an Uber pool anyways”, Phoenix leaned on the counter, resting her head in her hands.

“I still have to clean up, you don’t have to wait for me”, you shook your head and smiled at her begging face. “Just come in earlier tomorrow”, Fanboy suggested. “It hurts my heart leaving you here”, Phoenix added and it made you chuckle.

“Alright, just let me put all the glasses in the baskets and wipe down the counter real quick”, you yielded your protest. “Yay”, Phoenix said and came around the bar. “I’m helping you. Come on, guys”, she waved over her colleagues.

“I’ll get us the Uber”, Payback said and got out his phone. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Coyote and Hangman leaving through the front door.

With the help of the others, it only took you a few minutes to clean up most of the bar before the Uber arrived. The six of you got in the van and got dropped off one by one at your houses and apartments. You were the last one in the car and it was 11 PM when you finally walked through your front door.

Next chapter: Part 5.1

[scimagic]

SMG4: WOTFI 2024 Thoughts and Analysis Masterpost

WOTFI 2024 is finally here and I had so much fun watching it! I've even watched it a few times already!! I'm so glad this was my first ever live WOTFI, it makes me wish I knew of SMG4 earlier but alas! I'm still so happy I found SMG4 and it's wonderful community the way I did!

This is one large compilation of all my reactions, opinions and deeper analysis... -es on WOTFI 2024! I will go over the entirety of the video almost scene-to-scene with my OWN OPINIONS! (And yes, it gets hella long) I divided it into sections of the video and even included pictures for viewing convenience!

Hope you enjoy reading essays <33

Warning: Spoilers (duh).

✧ Before The Show

As said before this was my first live WOTFI, since the episodes release at 9AM for me I had to put on my alarm one hour before but I shut it off fhjkdsa

So you can imagine my panic when I had to make my breakfast 10 minutes before it started

Not my greatest planning but I managed to (somewhat) make it on time!

✧ Let's Jump Right In!!

WHUH HAPPEN

Loved the spin off of Mr Puzzles' jingle, I knew I was going to get it stuck in my head the moment the lyrics switched

I was amused when Puzzles re-enacted his life, thought he'd give a little more meat to work with but I'm glad he just explained what we already knew. Some of his charm lies in the mystery that is his life

"So I did what any ambitious, misunderstood young soul would do... I locked myself in my room and watched TV all day!" So real tho-

I'm surprised I didn't see many people react to Puzzles cursing so loud hfdskja maybe we're all busy with the rest of WOTFI but I SCREAMED when he went "-WERE VIOLENTLY FUCKING CRUSHED BY YOU LOT!!"

LET THAT MAN CUSS FREELY!!!!

"... yyyou!" <3

LOVE EVERYONE'S COSTUMES TOO!! They all look great!!

Maybe it's because of the teasers they gave but I thought the crew was going to go against Puzzles himself with the challenges, but pitting them against Mario and SMG4 made me pleasantly surprised (I will be a lot throughout all this!)

I ADORE THIS INTRO SO MUCH!! It's so fun and vibrant and the way it was animated was so cool!! I WANT THE POSTER SO BAD!!!

Haeheh big Puzzles from the website!!

Love how Saiko is just screaming at Puzzles too fhdskja

✧ Fun Carnival Torture Metho- Games!!

I didn't say what my challenge was but it was called Chuck N' Dunk: Who can dunk the other first in shark-infested waters?

It didn't make it but I do see shark-infested waters, so either I gave a bit of inspo or I'm just delusional hfdsjka

"I have to deal with internet comments all day! This is nothing!" HAH!!! THAT'S MY FUCKING YOUTUBER RIGHT THERE!!! (He still lost)

Love to see SMG3 and Puzzles appreciate the beauty of destruction together, gotta love two villains vibin over causing chaos, it'd make for a fun dynamic if SMG4 ever considers it

On that note, when SMG3 tries to shake Four's tight rope I knew that was Three straight up

Even under Puzzles' control, the cast still retains a bit of their personality, as shown here and in the Puzzlevision episodes

Bob has like- the coolest costume ever holy shit- I really wanna draw it some time

I KNOW IT'S JUST A MASK AND SOME RECOLORING ALRIGHT IT JUST FITS HIM AND HE LOOKS COOL

I LOVE HIM SO. FUCKING. MUCH. HE'S SO SMUG THE BASTARD

This is a really funny joke actually

PIE GUN GO BRRRRRRRRRRRR

I liked seeing Karen included in this WOTFI, she was a main character in a few episodes and her dynamic works well with the others! Just a tired mom wanting to work but pulled along silly adventures, grounding in a badass caring way

CHANGE THE WORLD. MY FINAL MESSAGE. GOODBYE!! God I haven't heard that meme in so long

Plus [Italian vc] YOU SONSOFFA BITCHES

"Hope you two have your running shoes on!" said in the gayest villain voice ever, I love him your honor

Bob going for the clown girl instead of the exit is the Bob-iest thing ever and it just drives my point of the crew retaining their personalities even under control, so people shouldn't be surprised when it happens fhdjksa (cus I've seen it!)

FOUR ONLY WINNING BECAUSE HE'S A CLOWN IS SO FUNNY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

So... Ben (SMG4's Thumbnail Artist) posted a lot of Gokus when someone mentioned Metallica's For Whom The Bell Tolls

That's why I thought there'd be some kind of reference to it in WOTFI which... now that I say it out loud sounds kinda dumb hfsjdka

But the moment Mario appeared as Goku I immediately thought of Ben and it had me gigglin fhdsjka

You'd think Tari would be in the ducky mini-game but you'd be wrong! <3

Final thoughts of the games, this year's WOTFI challenges were delightful!! They were all very clever from the audience and well chosen from the crew! Congratulations to the folks that got their prompt in!

✧ WHACK-A-LEGGY (aka forgive me father for this next part)

You........ CANNOT tell me he wouldn't treat you right- God- DAMN.

LISTEN. HEAR ME OUT. YES I'M GONNA BE SIMPY IN THIS REACTION POST FUCK YOU.

Puzzles is the type of guy to give you the best of the best simply because you say so and deserve it, doesn't matter if it's as tame as a big bouquet of flowers OR as extreme as absolutely destroying your enemies through the most painful torture you have ever witnessed

He would treat you RIGHT!!!!

THAT IS THE MOST PERFECT MAN RIGHT THERE

Oh yes and I love his interactions with Leggy, they're adorable, yes FHDSKJA

THEY MAKE A CUTE DUO

Speaking of Puzzles treating you right: I am on the FUCKING FLOOR. THAT MAN IS PROTECTIVE TOO.

It's just so endearing to me how protective he is of Leggy (yes yes I know I know he's done evil shit to Meggy I know) BUT LISTEN.

In an actual redemption arc, I can see Puzzles as the most loyal motherfucker that you've ever befriended, that man is going to go to the edge of the earth and fight for you if needed BECAUSE you're his friend and that is so lovely to me

It's cute how he's trying to tell Leggy where to go, where to hide and just how worried he is of her

Mind you, the contrast between Puzzles being worried and SMG4 and Mario wanting to curve-stomp that goomba to death is hilarious fhdsjka

So forgive me if I giggle like a schoolgirl over that man

✧ I'm Gonna Get Real With You For A Moment

MR STINKY

Oh this scene now- lots to unpack

First: Adore how this scene plays out, I love the portrayal of Puzzles' meltdown, induced by grief, sadness, anger and frustration over how things are playing out. It's a big "I'm supposed to win! Why don't you let me win!" moment, I simply adore when those happen.

The pitiful cries when you don't get your way when you've meticulously planned everything and done Everything to get it, and do everything did Puzzles indeed try

Second: The colors, the dramatic red light, the destruction of the park out of anger and overcharging it seems

It's basically a tantrum

Third: The voice acting is phenomenal, and that's been said all throughout the Puzzlevision arc, Brendan (Mr Puzzles' voice actor) is so good at his job- he's perfect in those high pitch inflictions of emotion and the lower threatening tones, that scream is chilling and painful

Fourth: I can try and decipher that blue screen

FATAL ERROR A problem has been detected and Mr. Puzzles has been shut down to prevent damage to himself. PUZZLEVISION.EXE Check to make sure any new show or movie is properly installed. If this is a new installation :It's not: ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any PUZZLEVISION updates you might need. :I don't need any: If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed hardware or software. Disable CPU(?) memory options such as Unused Shows or Movies. If you need to use safe mode :I don't: to remove or disable components, restart yourself, press :nuhuh: to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select Safe Mode. :NO: Technical Information: *** STOP: 2xREADING (... xACTUALLY)

That last line is ineligible to me but I tried my best for y'all <3

Lots to unpack just in this tiny little message

In his system, Puzzles is programmed to shut down if damaged. Which is CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT. His OWN SYSTEM shuts down to prevent damage to himself.

Also he's SPEAKING THROUGH THE BLUESCREEN, he's actively saying No to "Safe Mode" and REFUSING any repairs his system suggests

THIS MAN DOES NOT CARE FOR HIS BODY (if you couldn't tell by the TV head part)

AND HE'S SO UNSERIOUS HE STRAIGHT UP TELLS HIS SYSTEM NUH UH!!!!

A little easter egg that someone else on Twitter found :)

Puzzles has become a rage horror monster and I'm here for it, the horror elements do go hard when they're played

URGH. AND THIS MOMENT. Many have pointed it out by now BUT THE TRAUMA OF THE CASTLE!! I AM SO WEAK

Puzzles REALLY plays into those psychological torture methods, it is so RUTHLESS of him, intentionally or not!!

✧ STEP RIGHT UP, MY FRIENDS, TO PUZZLEPARK!

He looks horrible in armor despite being everyone's pathetic knight in shining armor FHJDSKA

"You're MINE" I SURE AM SIR!!!

THAT GROWL THO- BRENDAN STRIKING AGAIN WITH THEM VOCALS!!!

AND THIS!! IS THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR OH BOY!!

The transition into the actual song is SO GOOD, instead of going higher like the actual Disney intro it goes LOWER and it's PERFECT for the intro!! It makes Puzzles sound INSANE (RIGHTFULLY SO!) It also tricks you because you know the melody so well until UH OH!! WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT!! LET'S GET THE FUCK IN!

3!

2!

1!

IMMEDIATELY threateningly playful I LOVE IT!!

It sounds so much like the songs in Nightmare Before Christmas, Kidnap Sandy Claws, Oogie Boogie's song, it has their same vibes! The same devilishly playful with their victims kind of vibes and it's RIGHT UP MY ALLEY BABY

It has SUCH an energizing beat too!! It makes you wanna jump in your seat to the beat!

The set up is so fun too, purple is an interesting choice to go with.

I cannot stress enough how GOOD THE VOCALS ARE TOO I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

AND THIS PART. GOES EXTREMELY HARD. THEY ALL LOOK GREAT

They cooked with the choir of minions fr!! They sound great together!!

The chorus of the song is just as catchy as Creative Control, I had worries that I wasn't going to like this one as much as CC but I was SO wrong!! It's right up it's alley! They both have their strengths and their unique way of presenting Mr Puzzles, I wouldn't be able to decide which one is "better" since they both have different points to send across

Creative Control is jazzier, it taunts the crew and introduces Puzzles as the master villain with a bit of backstory, it's used to show the control on the crew both visually and lyrically with Puzzles putting them in different scenarios while singing how they can't leave

Meanwhile Puzzlepark, while similar in the controlling part, has more going on. It's not just Puzzles trying to control/stop Meggy, SMG4 and Mario, it's also them fighting back when they couldn't in CC. It also has the rest of the group trying to detain them, mind-controlled by Puzzles. It's crazier than just putting them in shows and popular culture references, it's throwing things at them, attacking them and messing with the world, trying to enact revenge yknow!

I particularly like when Meggy and Puzzles sing together, their voices contrast well

"But it's time for you to die now." Haehah! Hello!! This is the part where I kill you!!

AND A LAWSUIT ARC REFERENCE TOO!? OH I'M IN HEAVEN!!!

The lyrics scratch at a very nice part of my brain, I think SMG4 has always had a knack for rhyming, they've perfected it over the years and it's paid off well

And combined with the change in beat it goes for extra points, mwah!! Chef's kiss!!

"That child is gone... Six feet under right WHERE YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS BELONG!!"

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART FUCKING EVER!!!! THEY ABSOLUTELY COOKED

IT'S ABOUT HOW THREATENING PUZZLES IS IT'S ABOUT MEGGY STILL TRYING TO HELP HIM DESPITE IT ALL IT'S ABOUT HIM ABSOLUTELY REFUSING THE HELP BECAUSE THAT'S. JUST. HIM. PUZZLES. REFUSES. HELP. THINGS go his way or they don't go at all!!!

AND THAT ENDING NOTE MYYYY GODDDD GIVE THIS MAN AN EMMY RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING NOW!!!!

That was such a clean note, Brendan has an amazing singing voice and I'll be listening to this on repeat for A WEEK

SMG4 RELEASE PUZZLEPARK ON SPOTIFY NOW AND MY LIFE!!! IS YOURS!!!!

✧ In The End... It's For The Better...

They like using the trope of going inside a character's brain/heart/whatever to talk to them huh...

I'm not saying it as a bad thing! It's just a pattern I'm sure we've all noticed! I think it's cute!

SMG4 wouldn't be SMG4 if they at least didn't Try to save their villains, sure there's distasteful ones like that lizard that absolutely deserved it, but all the other villains had redemption arcs, heart to hearts, sympathy before dying... SMG4 is about chances, finding your people and having a heart even towards those who wronged you, even if in the end the worst happens to them

And I think that's beautiful

Regardless of having a heart, however, Meggy has the absolute right to be angry at Puzzles, maybe it wasn't right but I don't blame her for snapping at a kid, that kid Is Puzzles after all

I see two possible interpretations of Meggy becoming Leggy one more time: either- Truly to get close to Puzzles and become a true friend, or simple manipulation to get him to stop. Either are possible in my book, maybe with a little more thought I'd be able to know which one but for now I remain satisfied with being skeptical on this one, I don't care to find what the real intentions were since I know the ending.

Plus nothing is in black and white, there's a lot of layers to Puzzles' and Meggy's relationship........

And speaking of that ending-

HAH!!!!

I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS HILARIOUS!!

IN TRUE SMG4 FASHION YOU (SORTA) REDEEM A VILLAIN AND CELEBRATE SAVING THE DAY WITH A STUPID MEME

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOLKS IT'S SMG4 IT'S THE FUNNY HAHA MEME SHOW!!

STOP TAKING IT SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY THE WHOLE TIME!!

IT CAN BE SERIOUS AND STUPID!!!!

Mr Puzzles SHOULD go to the psych ward, HE'S FUCKING INSANE

YOU DON'T GET REDEEMED IMMEDIATELY AFTER ALL THAT!!

I'm glad they didn't redeem him completely! I didn't believe him at all when he said he learned a valuable lesson! I was like No The Fuck You Didn't!

You can have a redemption later! That's okay! I trust the writers with handling the arcs and making them good! And you heard Luke, they might bring him back later! (Which is a definite yes!)

I would love for them to take it slow with Puzzles, not immediately of course, let him breathe and write another arc right now, settle things with everything and everyone and THEN you can break him out, the universe is full of possibilities, and I'm SURE I will enjoy whatever the SMG4 crew writes

Haeheh she looks like a nerd with those goggles

Someone's Artist Puzzles AU just came true btw-

"And Didney shut down..!" :D

The Showgrounds is gonna start looking more like an actual carnival too!! Wahoo!!

I WANT THAT FUCKING HOODIE-

That Puzzle plushie looks so ugly I LOVE HIMMMM

I WANT THAT FUCKING POSTER AND KEYCHAIN

SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING COMMISSION ME SO I CAN BUY THEMMMMMM AEUGHHHHHH

Thank YOU LUKE AND SMG4 CREW FOR GIVING US THIS WOTFI!!! I LOVED IT WITH ALL MY HEART <33

I would love to hang out and go get some pizza with Mr Puzzles :(

And finally... that lil jingle to end with the rolling credits

✧ Final Thoughts

Believe me when I say I think this is the best possible ending for Puzzles, he doesn't die, he doesn't get completely redeemed, but he does face consequences and he gets a chance for the future, best of both worlds me thinks

I loved this rollercoaster that was Puzzlevision, I might've hopped on the train sorta late but I stayed for all the duration of the ride and I had a blast <3

Mr Puzzles was great and maliciously loveable, learning about all these characters and growing to care about them was amazing, I'm really happy I have a new series I can watch and analyze and enjoy!! I'll be remaining in my seat with my one ticket until I get off the SMG4 train, not sure when!! But until then you can expect me to still love this show, draw for it and analyze it much more than any reasonably normal person should.

If you've read this far, I love you soso much and hope you enjoyed this hell of a scroll, because I spent so many hours on this shit YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND-

K BYEEEE <333

[teewritessmth]

~~Fragmented Affection Part 02~~

Kenny x f! reader

Summary : After splitting with your shitty ex, you seek comfort in your best friend Kenny. But are you two just friends?

Warnings : smut, breastplay, blowjobs, cum, safe sex

You ring his doorbell and within seconds he opens his door wide with the biggest smile on his face.

"Hey Kenny".

You greet him and wrap your arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around your torso and breathes in your scent.

"Hey beautiful, thank you for coming."

Your face flushes as you remember the nickname he used to call you all the time. It's been a while he said that, so it made you feel a little giddy inside.

Kenny holds you by your wrist and gently leads to you to his table.

"Did you bring your TV in the kitchen, Ken?"

"Uh yeah...I thought maybe we could watch your favorite show while we ate so we don't have awkward pauses during dinner."

Your heart burst at his gesture, he was such a sweetheart.

"Are you the cutest?".

"I'm afraid I might be."

He pinches your cheeks and pulls your chair for you.

The rest of the dinner goes by in a flash. Kenny either making small jokes about the characters or adding his own character to the show. You stomach hurt from laughter as you lay in his couch, watching him bring his TV back to the correct place. You smile at him and give him a backhug.

Kenny stiffens a little bit but reciprocates your hug and gently kisses your forehead. You nuzzle into his chest and hold him tight.

"I love you Kenny" "I love you Y/n"

Both of you immediately let go of the hug and look at each other, eyes wide. No way you said that the same time he did.

"Y/n?"

"You're explaining first"

"Fine, sit down."

He let's out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Y/n, you've been a great friend to me all these years. But recently, I've felt so much more for you. Everytime I call you, you're there. You're laughter is like music to me. My jokes are effortlessly funny when I say them to you. I've never felt anything this deep for anyone I have ever met."

Your eyes water. The man in front of you had bared his heart out to you and you couldn't even form coherent words for him.

"K-Ken".

That's all you say before you get into his lap and kiss him.

He returns your kiss with the same urgency, combing his fingers through your hair. You held his face and kissed him deeper, your tongue gently caressing his.

No words were exchanged as you slid his shirt off him and traced his abs. He took off your top and helped you out of your pants, leaving you in your undergarments.

You dropped to you knees as you palmed him through his shorts, feeling his hard member through his shorts.

He helps you take off his pants followed with his boxers as you push him back to the couch. He lets out a small laugh and caresses your cheek as you kneel infront of him.

"You're so pretty".

You blush and slowly stroke his dick, licking gently at the head. He lets out a gasp and makes a ponytail with your hair in his hand. You give him a long lick from his base and envelope your mouth around him, loving the way his head falls back at the sensation.

You bob your head faster, trying to fit all of him inside your mouth and pull back with a 'pop' sound.

You hear him suck in a breath and look at you confused.

You climb up to his lap and whisper in his ear-

"Finish in me first, then finish in my mouth whenever you want".

He groans and attacks your neck with kisses and unclasps your bra. You toss it aside as his big hands cup your boobs and leave kisses on them. He takes a nipple in his mouth and gently sucks on it, fondling the other one with his free hand. You feel goosebumps across your body as he switches to the other boob, giving it the same treatment.

You line the tip of his dick to your entrance as you slowly sink down on him, gasping and moaning by how well he stretched you out.

"K-Kenny, please fuck me".

That being said, he holds you steady by your hips and thrusts upwards into you.

You lean towards him, pulling him closer to you as you ride him reaching closer to your orgasm.

He spills inside you with a groan the same time you cum around his dick. Your thighs shake due to the intensity of your orgasm and Kenny picks you up, carrying you into his bedroom.

After a quick clean up session, you two hold each other and talk about all the times you've felt strongly for each other. Kenny keeps on kissing your face like a million times but hey, you didn't mind.

Throughout the course of the night, that man fucked you on his couch, on his bed and in his shower when you woke up the next day.

Truly the most affectionate man you'll ever come across against.

Requested by @sexybarkbark

[trivialbob]

Tonight I picked up a prescription. A pharmacy technician looked up my order. It wasn't ready. "This will take about 15 minutes, if you want to wait," she told me.

Waiting was no problem. Not even four minutes later a cheerful voice on the intercom called out, "Bob, your prescription is ready." How nice.

Back at the counter I complained, in an exaggerated crabby-old-man voice, "That was NOT 15 minutes!"

She giggled. "I can make you wait longer!" We both grinned.

A second technician didn't catch it all. In an serious tone she explained that they have to say 15 minutes, even if they don't expect it to take that long. It's an under promise, over deliver thing. If they say four minutes and it takes six, people get mad.

Maybe I didn't exaggerate enough?

Next I stopped at my favorite grocery store. A young man has been working the cart corrals there for several years. One of the first times I met him I had just arrived on my motorcycle.

"Sweet ride, man" he casually said. As I removed my helmet he continued, "but not as sweet as mine." Then he made a grand gesture to that battery-powered thing with the orange flashing light he was using to push a long train of carts back inside the store. I laughed. So did he.

Tonight the weather here is lousy. 35°F and rain. Just gross. That same cart guy was standing near the store entrance.

"Nice night we're having, isn't it!" he said. Hearing it come from him made me smile.

A woman in front of me didn't think it was funny. She stormed (haha) inside.

"Darned right it is!" I happily exclaimed to the employee.

"You know I was kidding, don't you? I know it's not really a nice night." I think the woman's reaction had thrown him for a loop.

"I think it was a good joke, man. I hope you don't get cold and do have a good evening." I was smiling ear to ear.

He smiled back with relief. "Yeah, have a nice evening too."

[messenger-of-stupidity]

So I went hiking yesterday and climbed on some old lime factory ruins and saw some graffiti. (Lots of it actually.)

So here's what I think the redacted characters would graffiti (if anything):

David: No. He wouldn't graffiti. Man prolly believes in the sanctity of nature and leaving things either as or better than he found it

Angel: Cock and balls.

Asher: Jigglypuff. He wants everyone to behold the splendor.

Baabe: honestly, despite the fact I hc them as an art nerd, I don't think they would graffiti. Maybe with chalk so that way it's temporary. But idk what they would say.

Milo: either "Milo was here" or "Shut up Asher"

Sweetheart: doesn't matter. It's a mess. Because "Art is abstract, Milo. Besides, it kind of looks like that time Aggro spooked you and you shifted and made a mess in our old apartment"

Sam: he wouldn't. He's on the same wavelength as David.

Darlin: some kind of inside joke so that way everyone in the pack (and clan) knows they were there.

Vincent: a purposefully cheesy inspirational quote in the shittiest lettering you've ever seen.

Lovely: a smiley face because they just want their life to calm down so they can enjoy immortality with their stupid boyfriend.

Porter: he wouldn't, but not because he cares about sanctity or whatever. He just doesn't see the point.

Treasure: nah. They don't see the point either. They also don't have a marker or spray paint or anything with them. Porter just kinda zipped them into the middle of fucking nowhere all of the sudden. Somehow they lost a shoe on the way.

Elliot: yes. Boy is making a whole landscape because it's in his DNA and his inner Bob Ross is screaming at him that there's no mistakes, only happy little accidents

Sunshine: they put a sun and a little river for Brachium since he can't deface property with them :(

Blake: he's bringing a powerwasher to destroy all the graffiti

Bestie: they weren't aware it was an option because Blake is sheltering them from the existence of graffiti to keep them pure.

Aaron: no. He doesn't have the time

Smartass: they're busy too.

Ollie: no. He'd rather be inside playing board games

Baby: no, they're inside watching Ollie explain a board game for three hours

Ivan: yeah. Idk what, but he is

(I'm not doing Ivan's listeners)

Guy: it's just memes. There pepe the frog. There's rainbows and telling people that "they're putting chemicals in the water to turn all the frogs gay"

Honey: they put Guy's phone number so he gets spammed because his graffiti tastes are as good as his humor. Make of that what you will.

Geordi: no. He's too anxious about getting in trouble to even think about it.

Cutie: yes. They're putting passing people's thoughts on the wall.

Camelopardalis: no.

(He has too many listeners and I isn't remember them and they dint have enough personality for me to be able to tell)

Vega: no. It's too human.

Warden: once. They felt bad and tried to get rid of it afterwards. It was just a stick figure with horns.

Hush: yes. He saw it once and wanted to try it. Now he's wanted in twelve states for defacing government property. He just copies what he's seen.

Doc: nope. They never understood the draw.

Damien: nope. He's a rule follower

Lasko: no. He's too anxious

Dear: yes. But it's just dad jokes.

Huxley: once. He felt bad about it but it was certainly an experience. It was a tree and a stick dude.

Gavin: absolutely. It's hilarious. It ranges from just crude jokes to just random circles. No one knows the meeting, but it's becoming like a mini legend in Dahlia. If you find the holy circle (because it's a perfect circle. He has good wrist control) you have to leave an offering. He's making a cult by accident but he still finds it funny

Freelancer: yes, but only because Caelum saw Gavin doing it and thought it looked like fun and he wanted Freelancer's help.

Caelum: he drew a bunch of shaky smiley faces to "brighten peoples day. Because when they see all these smiles, they'll want to smile too, and that will make them feel good. Which makes me feel good. Which helps me make others feel good. Which makes me feel goo-"

Morgan: no.

Seer obscura: no. But they were tempted to give vague warnings to people to try to help them

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

wow you really love disney metafiction

Well yes Who Framed Roger Rabbit always fascinated me as a kid, what adaptions would our world have what would change if our characters really existed and lived beside us would Disney be as greedy as it is if Mickey Mouse was actually owner over it it instead of Bob Iger being CEO nd Investors having their claws in it? Would Bugs be the owner of Warner or would he be chilling as an A-list celebrity who is a known as a beloved LGBTQA Drag Queen and Genderfluid Veteran?

Mickey and Minnie married off screen and dating on screen?

Looney Tunes known as chaos incarnate but they're a giant family

Bugs and Daffy adopted the Animaniacs because they had no home

Are Bugs and Daffy together off screen?

What would shape each toon into their On Screen and off-screen selves creating that divide?

What would the huge differences be? Maybe some have kids others are married and some have entire seperate family?

How would humans react to these guys as a species that has a bad record of looking down upon people?

Mickey and Bob Iger having a I absolutely despise you but I have to tolerate you relationship

Off screen the Warner siblings are actually related to Oswald and Ortensia explaining the Animaniacs' strange unidentifiable appearances,

Like the possibilities are endless and vast, there's just so much unexplored due to the fact companies can't share at all anymore and they don't think live action hybrids are useful

Chip and Dale 2022 resparked it for me, a lot of ideas going a million miles, like if I had finances I'd be getting reference shots to use for test fan animation just for the fun of it, cause it fascinates me that much,

And while you call it metafiction it's actually just cartoons meeting our reality seriously go check out the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit that movie right there shows what exactly I'm talking about and here I'll even include some screenshots of a couple films that do this

Bugs Bunny Focus for Back in Action cuz honestly I think this is his most iconic look besides the Viking look when it comes to his drag and honestly the line normally I play the love interest is just amazing

Roger and Eddie(played by Bob Hoskins) in Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers 2022

This is the adaption I was talking about earlier look at Ellie next to the apartment building for small toons. She's as tall as it, while Chip and Dale are the perfect size for it, unlike Who Framed Roger rabbit Chip and Dale takes place in the modern day that's what hooked me to create a modern AU it's all so fascinating,

You can't see it in that shot but Dale is driving a full-blown human sized car that has been adapted for Chipmunks I'm not joking, however their movie shows how wildly different everybody can look from each other especially in the modern day when CG is a thing. Chip is still clearly 1990s 2D animated while Dale decided to get a CGI redesign

Like if Mickey and Minnie are only two feet tall and if he's the big boss on set yeah it's really funny to me to imagine him running around Disney and trying to picture every single Studio adapting to these Toons and their various size differences

Again there is just so so much that has been untapped with this genre, because Studios cannot get along long enough to tap into it

[takenbypeter]

Jealousy Explained

Adam Warlock x reader

Words: 1418

Authors note: this was supposed to be a silly little fic but uhhhhh that’s not what it became so yeah 😬

Months had gone by since the Guardians had reformed and honestly it took some time for everyone to adjust. 

Some more than others. 

The Warlock Adam adjusted well to his life as a guardian. It was easy for him to fight, he just needed to be directed to the right side. 

What wasn’t so easy was adjusting to his life on the planet Knowhere. 

Luckily he had you to help him with that. You two had clicked since that first night he was on this planet. 

You had welcomed him with some teasing words that he oddly found comforting before you joined him on the stairs. You didn’t pressure him into dancing as everyone else celebrated the Guardians victory, you also didn’t really ask any questions. While the others partied away, you just sat with him and bobbed your head to the beat.

It was a simple gesture but it meant a lot to Adam and ever since then he’s felt close to you. At first you were the only person he would go to if he had questions about anything, but now, of course after time passed he found he can easily lean on the other guardians as well but still, you always came to mind first. Which is why after more time passed, eventually he confessed his romantic feelings for you and thankfully you felt the same as him. 

The relationship was still decently new and while you didn’t really parade it, you also didn’t hide it. Most anyone close to you two knew and that’s all that mattered.

Although Adam loved going on missions and executing them perfectly…well mostly perfect, he most enjoyed his time on Knowhere helping around when he could, as did you. 

This particular night was pretty busy in the main square. A few of you were just about finishing some final touches around the planet such as putting some signs back up on buildings while others were just chatting in good fun. 

Adam was distracted chatting on his end as his ears suddenly perked up at the sound of your laughter that could be heard across the way. 

You had just finished aiding a small group as they put in place the last sign and after completing it, one of the guys you helped came up to talk to you. 

Adam, while having no recollection of this fellow’s name, could see you were easily getting along. Was he a friend of yours? Adam hadn’t remembered you introducing him before. 

Adam observed as you let out another hearty, full laugh while leaning back. That didn’t bother him. What did bother him was the fact that the other guy was staring at you as you laughed with a smile slowly spreading on his face while he leaned closer to you. 

It was subtle to most eyes but Adam noticed. 

Adam knew what jealousy was. He just hadn’t felt it in this way before. He felt as if he was a child, wanting to keep that laughter of yours and that feeling of loving you to himself and only himself. He greatly disliked this feeling.

Adam’s expression couldn’t help but shift from worried to a less than subtle frown as he watched from afar.

“I am Groot.”

“Jealous!” Repeated Adam pretty defensively while his attention was now turned to the tree, “I am not jealous!” He added, peeking back in your direction. 

That’s when Drax decided to add his piece as he just joined the conversation, “who’s jealous?”

“I am Groot.”

“I am not jealous.”

Drax glanced at where you stood, still joking with the individual you were with, “you shouldn’t be.”

Adam now turned to Drax, “you’re far better looking than that guy and probably funnier too.”

Then another laughter came for you and Drax added, “maybe not.”

Adam shot Drax a look while Drax just shrugged, “what? He seems to be pretty funny from here.”

They were so caught up in their own discussion they didn’t notice you waving goodbye to the small group before making your way towards them. 

You approached curiously as their discussion was practically being yelled at this point. 

“I am Groot.”

The argument between the Warlock and the Destroyer stop almost instantly as Groot greets you. 

“Hey Groot,” you greet while you come up to them interested about what all that noise was, “what’s goin’ on over here?” Your eyes first met Adam’s before he looked away, his eyes drifting to the side. Then you turned to Drax who was staring right at you, “golden boy is jealous.”

“What?!” Adam immediately turned to Drax having been ratted out, “I am not jealous, I’m completely fine,” he countered a bit on the aggressive side.

Before you could make any comment at all Adam was already turned with his back to the group as he practically stomped off. 

You turned back to Drax who was already nodding his head throwing another snack into his mouth, “he’s jealous.”

“Thanks Drax,” you mumbled as you followed Adam's trail. 

You caught up to Adam easily. To be fair though he wasn’t exactly walking fast, more like just angrily and with no real destination in mind. 

“Adam come on, wait a second,” he stopped knowing he couldn't really distance himself from you, and finally as he let you catch up, you got to position yourself in front of him where you could see him eye to eye. 

Adam was practically pouting as you stood across from him, “are you jealous?”

Adam's eyes shut tightly as he puffed his upper lip out before letting a breath out, a crease in between his brows formed as his expression grew worried again, “would you think less of me if I said I was?”

You couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle as he stood there, practically vulnerable as he awaited your answer. 

“Of course not.”

Well that at least made him feel a little bit better. 

“But I’m a Sovereign,” he stood tall as he said that, clearly proud of his kind but not a moment later he deflated a little, “I’m not supposed to have feelings of jealousy, especially of someone like him.”

“You’re right you shouldn't feel jealous of him—”

“Because I am supposed to be better than him.”

“Well no that’s not—”

“Oh so I do have reason to feel jealous of him?”

“No, listen to me,” you exclaimed, trying to get him to focus. Adam opened his mouth but you spoke before he could even begin, “you have no reason to be jealous of him because I don’t like him, I like you,” Adam’s mouth finally closed now as he let you have the floor. 

Finally calming the situation, your eyes looked down in thought for a moment as your hand reached for his. Lifting his hand up with yours you placed them, palm to palm, “I don’t care about him the way I care about you. And I would never feel less of you because of your feelings,” you spread your fingers apart and his hands followed yours, while he watched as you interlock your fingers together.

“But…I’m a Sovereign” he whispered practically holding on to that phrase like it was his life. 

“Yes you’re a Sovereign, but think of it this way, your people, they have no need for love and relationships, do they?”

“Well no.”

“So technically speaking, are you supposed to have these feelings?” You questioned and Adam’s eyes met yours as he seemed to understand what you were asking. 

“Not exactly.”

“Right. Sovereigns weren’t exactly meant to feel the way we do, but you do, right?” he nodded at your question before you asked another, “do you feel bad about the way you feel about me?”

“Of course not,” he said with zero hesitation in his voice. 

“Emotions, feelings, they're what make us, us. So you shouldn't beat yourself up because you feel some type of way, and no, I will not think of you less if you feel jealous…I might even feel a little bit flattered.”

“Then I am jealous!” He said with a grin now apparent on his face. 

“Well I won’t praise you either.”

He shook his head, with his eyes lowering again as he muttered, “right.”

At his distraction, you brought his hand down tugging on it a little causing him to lean your way as you placed a kiss against his cheek. 

He looked at you surprised even though he really shouldn't be 

“But I will praise you for telling me.”

[kitthenameless]

Since almost all the art and pictures I come across on Tumblr have no alt text, I figure maybe people don't understand what it's for or know how to use it. Here's an explanation!

What is alt text?

Some people (mostly blind people, but it can be useful for other disabilities too) use programs called screen readers to navigate the computer and read text aloud. That's why pictures need to have a text description (alt text), for the screen reader to read aloud. Alt text is usually hidden and just there for screen readers, though on this site, anyone can click the button in the bottom left corner to access it on any image that has it.

Why is it important?

Alt text makes the internet accessible for anyone using a screen reader. I used a screen reader for a while, so I can tell you how much it sucks to try and use social media only for every post to be like,

"This is the funniest thing I've ever seen!" (image with no alt text)

"This info is so important, everyone please read this!" (image with no alt text)

And then all the responses are agreeing and everyone is having fun and being social, but you can't join, you have no idea what's going on, you're left out of the fun, the cool stuff, the funny stuff, the important stuff, all of it.

How to add alt text?

On this site, when you upload an image, just click the three dots on the bottom right corner and click the option to update image description. You can also add it later by editing the post, if you forget when posting.

What to type?

I'm not the authority on alt text, so I can only give advice based on my experience as a sighted person and what people have told me.

One advice I've seen is to describe it like you're describing it to someone over the phone.

I think a good method is to start by stating the general, then moving onto details. I might start with, "Digital art of an octopus merman," and then go on to describe the pose, the emotion/facial expression, the body, the hair, the colors, the background.

Every screen reader user has different preferences, I've talked to people with completely opposing opinions. But usually someone can move on if they find there's too much description, whereas there's nothing they can do if there's not enough. So I lean toward over-describing.

Additionally, make sure you include anything referenced in your post. If you're just sharing a screenshot of a group of characters, you probably won't describe the shape of each of their noses. But if you say, "I love Bob's nose!" now you should still describe the overall picture but also include the shape of his nose in your description.

That also applies to things like, "This tree looks how I feel." If your alt text just says, "A leafy tree," that doesn't explain the feeling. "A leafy tree that appears to be hunched over with sagging branches, looking tired," is more helpful.

If there's text, include the text. I also like to give context (e.g. screenshot of a tweet). You can even use websites like this one to extract text for you.

Don't just put the word "image." Don't use alt text to credit artists/photographers. Don't use it for jokes, unless the joke is genuinely helping to describe the image.

And remember, trying is always better than not trying, even if your description isn't perfect!

[sekai-meiko-vitamins-everyday]

today's meikomin is art done by KIKA for meiko's twentieth anniversary!

a hundred days is crazy work in my eyes, and im grateful for being allowed a place in the pharmacity community. i hope all of the meikospital's patrons enjoy what i have in store! (p.s: i'd also like to thank you all for voting on that poll from day 97. it was really close for a while there... let's say our congratulations to ray veradis!)

Your job wasn't an easy one. Jade, Carmen, and yourself were back to normal operations in the lab, and M was back to being silent except for the occasional "KAITO" or "Luka." G was nowhere to be found, but you were pretty sure he was working in the Artificial SEKAI.

Which was why you were hiding in the shadowy part of the front of their office, the stupid red lights serving as a reminder of the project you've been working on and that none of you remember agreeing to, his one prized possession hidden behind you like it was a city you were in charge of guarding. This was the only way to secure freedom for all of you.

For M, who you've grown to feel sorry for.

For Jade, who you believe was your first friend in this world full of hatred.

For Carmen, who you promised to protect all those years ago... What a joke. That promise had to be dead and gone by now.

Carmen and Jade lingered just outside the door. The patrons had decided your fate in Jade's popularity poll some three days ago, and you'd gotten the news only at noon.

You were still thinking about the past. That was your first mistake. It had always been your mistake, since all those years ago when you first got on to this "project." You were still thinking about the past, so you didn't notice G popping back into reality, the phone left resting on his desk like it had never been moved at all.

"Ray... You know full well you aren't allowed in here. What's gone wrong now?" They notice you immediately. They've always noticed you immediately. When have they not noticed you immediately?

You were addressed.

You step forward and into the light, bathing your body in red and shining onto you a spotlight. G's orange eyes follow your every movement. Explain yourself, Ray.

"...There's a letter from Ms. Regalis. We knew you weren't going to be leaving the SEKAI for a while, so I thought I'd come in and wait for you." Your hands are carefully placed behind your back. The syringe is hidden behind you, at the perfect angle. G is slightly shorter than you. He cannot see it. You practiced this with Carmen before entering. When your job is done, you owe her and Jade a movie night.

"And how's your work?" G circles his desk and comes to stand in front of it, hands clasped behind their back and they're smiling, and you regain a memory. That hasn't happened for a while.

You're walking down the sidewalk, trees a bright green and the flowers blooming along the side of the road, in between the cracks in the concrete. They persevere.

There are three sets of footsteps near you. Your group takes up the whole sidewalk, because you're young and obnoxious. G's long ponytail swishes back and forth as he walks. Jade walks with a very precise rhythm. Carmen's buns bob up, and down, then up again, as she skips slightly ahead of their group then waits. Again, and again. Your friends are repetitive, constant.

There's the sound of a straw sucking on nothing from your right- you must be coming back from a cafe, or a boba store. G always had a habit of drinking out of their cups long after they were empty. Jade's on her phone, but you know that if you said something, he'd put it away. She's polite.

Carmen's looking at you from six sidewalk squares ahead, and you unconsciously speed up to meet her. She says something. You can't remember it. But you laugh a little, so it must have been funny, or maybe it's just because it was Carmen who said it.

G calls out to you two, and must say something embarrassing, because you turn away. They're smiling, hands clasped behind their back, and the memory ends.

"Don't ignore me now, Ray." How did it come to this? "You said you had a letter. Hand it over and go back to our friends."

You did say you had a letter. You don't. The use of 'our' is making you angry, and you promised Jade you'd be careful and wouldn't get angry, but you walk towards G anyway. Hands tightly gripping the syringe behind you.

He extends his hand for the letter he assumes you have, and in one swift moment you stab him in the wrist and push down, hard, to inject him. You've... done what you needed to.

But there's a sharp pain in your stomach, one that wasn't there before. You're coughing, but G's coughing too. You both fall to the ground. G is asleep. You're bleeding out. That bitch pulled the knife out.

Carmen. Carmen. You need... to tell Carmen.

The time Jade gave you is up by now, and you think the door is flung open, but maybe it's very softly pushed. Your ears are ringing and your vision is hazy, but there is Carmen, same buns bobbing up and down, and she's a little ahead of Jade, and she's looking at you. Constant. She's looking at you with an expression you've never seen on her before. She's scared, more than scared, because so many scary things have happened to the three of you and she's never looked like this before. You smile. You always liked to remember each new emotion that showed on her face.

"Carm..." You can't get the full name out. You haven't called her that in a while, or at least you don't remember. It makes her start to cry. You didn't want that to happen. Your vision's blurring again: you think Jade might be trying to help with your wound, as the most medically trained of the three of you, but your focus isn't on him right now.

"Ray? Ray, you can hear me right, Ray, please, please don't close your eyes, you have to keep looking at me, Ray, please..." She's sobbing. You reach up as much as you can to wipe the tears away, but only get a couple before your hand drops back to the hard tile floor. You think she says something to Jade, but you can't hear anything anymore. "Don't close your eyes," she said. You feel like you have to, but when haven't you listened to her when she asked?

You last a while longer; you think it's a long time, because your eyes start to sting. You've kept your eyes open for minutes before, so it must have been longer than that. You think it's been long enough that you won't die from whatever G did. Was it a knife... a sharper syringe? They've got plenty...

You can hear again, but you can't see. Your eyes have closed, and you've failed her yet again.

You pass out to the sound of Carmen's frantic sobs.

[vicsnook]

Exile | Bob Floyd x Reader x Jake Seresin

word count: 1744

warnings: arguing, fist fight, blood, angst 

song pairing: Exile - Taylor Swift

notes: Hey y’all! This is part 2 of Wildest Dreams. The parts after this one will be divided by character since there’s an ending with Bob and an ending with Hangman. To try to simplify it, I will link under exile the parts corresponding to each character in my masterlist. Hope y’all enjoy and that this isn't too confusing! Don’t forget to like and reblog and thank you for liking and reblogging the past ones!!!

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

As Jake lowered you to the ground, Bob’s eyes scanned your every move. You felt your cheeks burning red and your heart was going a million miles per hour. The look on your face was one of a deer caught in headlights.

“Bob? What are you doing here?” you muttered as you walked toward him. His car parked on the other side of the street which explained why you didn’t notice him when driving into the neighborhood. 

“We need to talk. Unless you’re too busy.” He breathed out as he glared at Jake. You watch his fists ball up as Jake comes to stand behind you. 

“What is there to talk about Bob?” You ask coyly. 

His blue eyes piercing through yours so harshly make you feel small. Then he flickers his eyes to Jake with such hatred that you could only guess he already knows somethings up. 

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

“You know I begged to end my assignment early to come back to you?” He says, shaking his head. “I’ve asked about you for weeks since you can’t bother to respond to my calls. Just to come back and find you shacking up with fucking Hangman.” 

His fists balling up as your jaw tenses when he mentions Jake. Your mind is going at a million miles an hour. Unable to form a coherent thought before Bob speaks again.

“Nothing? Really, Peach? It hasn’t even been two months.” He spat and then raised his finger to point at Jake as he growled “And you, I thought you were better than that. I defended you to Rooster when you blabbed about his father and the second I’m gone you steal my girlfriend?” 

I can see you starin', honey

Like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

“She’s not your girlfriend.” Responded Jake who had now moved to stand beside you. A fist instantly connecting to his face before he could react.

“BOB! STOP! GET OFF OF HIM!” you yelled as him and Jake were trading punches now on the ground. “PLEASE STOP!” you begged as you tried to pull them away which resulted in someone’s fist connecting with your cheek. 

You yelped in pain as your hand rose to your throbbing cheek and both men stopped fighting and turned to look at you with concern. “Are you alright?” said Jake as he cupped your face and examined your cheek. “I’m fine” you whispered, pushing his hands off your face and stepping back. 

You were my town

Now I'm in exile, seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before

“Both of you need to leave,”  you snapped as you headed for the front door. Bob and Jake on your tail as you grabbed for your keys. 

“I’m so sorry Peach, please hear me out. Please” begged Bob who was standing right behind you as you unlocked the door. Turning around you eyed his bloody face, noticing Jake standing not too far behind him with a bloody nose. “I think you’ve talked enough today Bob.” You say as his eyes plead for you to let him in and talk. “Y/N please” he begged, it was the first time he used your name in a long time. 

Jake watched you both intently. Waiting to see what you’d do. You wanted so badly to ice your cheek that would be for sure bruised by the end of the day. But neither men budged as you looked between them.

“You have 5 minutes. No more. Now go inside and clean your face,” you told Bob exasperated at the position you were now in. He nodded and you stepped aside to let him in. Jake’s eyes watching in disbelief. 

You stepped outside and shut the front door behind you as you made your way to where Jake was standing. “Listen, I need to talk to him. I don’t want things to get worse. I’ll call you, I promise.” you whispered, grabbing hold of his hand to get him to look at you. “I don’t think you should talk to him, Peach. All he’ll do is hurt you.” he replied harshly. “That’s not for you to decide, Jake.” you uttered as he let go of your hand.

 His head shaking in disappointment as he turned away from you and walked to his truck. You walked backwards towards your door, watching him peel out of the driveway and then you turned around to reach for the doorknob only to find Bob standing in front of you instead. Pushing past him you make your way inside and notice the bag of frozen peas he placed on the table for your cheek.

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

“What’s going on between you and Hangman?” asked Bob as you pressed the bag of peas to your cheek. Wincing at the coolness of it and the question he asked.

“I don’t owe you an explanation, Bob. We’re not together anymore.” 

“He’s our teammate, Peach and I thought my friend too.” 

I think I've seen this film before

So I'm leavin' out the side door

“It’s none of your business, Bob. If that’s all you came to say then I suggest you leave.” You reply in annoyance. The pain on your cheek worsens by the second making you shut your eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asks, hurrying towards you as you sit on the couch. “It's just my cheek. It’s nothing” 

“It’s not nothing. I’m really sorry, Peach. I don't know what came over me. He had that smug look on his face and I couldn't stop myself.” 

We always walked a very thin line

You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out)

You couldn’t continue this conversation. Not without talking to Jake first. “I can’t do this right now. Please leave.” You pleaded as the pain on your cheek increased with every word you uttered and the knot in your stomach had you on the verge of throwing up.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, as he got up to walk to the door. Flashbacks of the night you confessed you liked him surfacing as he turned to look at you when his hand grabbed the doorknob.

So step right out, there is no amount

Of crying I can do for you

Your tears spilled as soon as he stepped out and shut the door. What the hell had you done? Your ex-boyfriend and best friend? or whatever Jake and you were, now caught up in this mess. 

The water in the shower was ice cold as you stepped in. But you didn’t care. Jake didn't answer your calls. On one hand it wasn't Bob’s business what was going on between you and Jake but if you didn’t tell him you knew he’d ask someone else from the squad and then everyone would want to know. The indecision came to a halt as your phone rang on the sink. 

But it wasn’t Jake or Bob. It was Nat. Which only could mean Bob had already told her. “Hello?” you said weakly as you pressed answer. “What the hell is going on, Peach? Bob’s face is all beat up and he won’t talk to anyone.” she said as you turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around you.

“I don’t want to talk about it Nat. I need to go.” you replied trying to hurry off the phone. “Bullshit. If you don’t tell me now, I’ll be at your house in 5” she replied, clearly displeased with your answer. “Guess I’ll see you then.” you said, ending the call and heading to your room to get dressed since you didn’t doubt Nat would be here soon. 

—

Nat sat across from you on the couch just as Bob did hours earlier. Eying the bruise on your face that you assured her wasn’t from Bob when she first came in. Truthfully you didn’t know which one of the men was responsible for it.

“Nat, please promise me that anything we talk about is strictly between us. You cannot tell Bob or Rooster or anyone else.” You said, breaking the silence. “I promise,” she replied.

“Okay, so as you know Jake has been around a lot since me and Bob broke up.” you started and went on to tell her everything that happened up until earlier today. The shock on her face was understandable. Squirming in your seat you looked away as the silence was very uncomfortable.

“Peach, I don’t even know what to say.” she said after digesting everything. “I don’t know what to do Nat. On one hand I know I don't need to tell Bob because it isn’t his business but whatever I choose it’ll hurt both of them.” you respond realizing you’d have to pick between them and either choice will affect the entire dynamic of the friend group.

“I think you need to tell Bob.” she says and raises her hand to signal you to stop and listen as you shake your head. “Whatever you decide to do you need to be honest because it’s going to come out one way or the other. It’s better if he hears it from you.” She finishes and looks at you waiting to see what you think. “Maybe you’re right” you whisper in response, looking at anything but her.

Your mind is still split on what to do as she heads out the door. You’re thankful that you at least spoke with someone but you still have no idea what to do. 

Checking your phone one last time before you try to sleep, you notice that Jake still hasn’t responded and that Bob texted to apologize once again. 

Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

(Click here for the next part Bob’s Version)

(Click here for the next part Jake’s Version)

[flyinghellfish]

wow.... The animation has become so perfectly robotic and computerized that sideshow bob simply looks like roger rabbit inserted.....

And new rule: you're not allowed to parody anything newer than 10 years old.

And rule 2: no more direct, shameless rip-offs. If you conceive a story that has similarities to something, reference it in style and passing, where the joke would otherwise work already even without the reference.

The joke first needs to work for someone who is COMPLETELY unfamiliar with what you are parodying! If it's only funny to those intimately familiar with the subject, it's guaranteed to be an automatic miss with 90% of the audience, and something that does not last into the future.

I did not live through Reagan or Nixon, but their shameful legacy has harmed us all to the point that jokes about them still play. I did not live through Churchill, but The Looney Tunes in 1950 could still make a joke about him cleaver enough that I can understand the parody even today.

Another thing to consider is that a complete straight parody of something that has survived in public consciousness for 10+ years is really only digestible as a few minute little vignette, like in treehouse of horror. Parodying something of small popularity (that has already vacated the public mind 2+ years ago) in its entirety over a full episode is masturbatory.

But the #1 issue with simpsons seasons 9.5+ (and Futurama season 5+) is that they have a character simply tell you the concept of the joke straight up, rather than making a joke itself.

An early example of this is s09e08 lisa the skeptic, when burns says to smithers "you better use the amnesia ray, and make sure to wipe your own mind after". Funny, right? And it could be much funnier when you learn it's a revolver. But they completely ruin the joke by explaining it straight up with smithers going "you mean the revolver, sir" and burns actually replies "yes" like cmon. Burns should have slyly handed smithers a revolver with a handkerchief (both to keep his prints off of it and because hes such an old fuss that he can't touch anything "unbecoming" directly) while smithers looks troubled but still accepts it. The joke should look like it ends there with a slow tighten on smithers, to a quick pull out and only then should Burns tell smithers "and don't forget to wipe your own mind after" where smithers does his signature groan, which should end the joke right there.

ANYWAY, writers (who i know surf the tag), you're welcome and please send cheques to "jesus, care of The Pentagon"

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-5: Psycomedian

Apparently this episode doesn't have anything plot-shaking, it's just a good episode. Clown time!

...This better not be another recap episode.

Yes! Marinette and Adrien are just friends.

Yes! Julerose!

[!@#$]

Alright, I liked that. Marinette was being pretty Candace-coded there. Except that Jeremy plays guitar, is in a band, and has a little sister

Another famous person that lives in Miraculous Paris. Either that or a local celebrity, honestly. Or maybe it's like how Youtubers just live in apartments and the suburbs?

Honestly the French Fry movie sounds like something I'd enjoy. Something so absurd yet so serious you stop laughing partway through and you're just in awe.

He said yes! He said yes!

I'm not sure about that, Mr. Clown, I know some great jokesters that shoot out jokes like crazy with no honking or anything. Maybe it'll help, though.

This is embarrassing.

Bob Roth again?

Oh I get that. I get that so hard.

Another great akuma design! Hawkmoth and the team behind this show can do good clowns.

So she only gets the remap when she summons a lucky charm? Odd.

LOVE the 'eyes drawn on eyelids' trick!

Damn. Ladybug is a powerhouse when pissed.

Pfft Chat carrying a tied up Ladybug making grumbling noises

Get his ass!

They're both so angry! I love it!

Oh. She turned into saltinette. That explains it.

This is probably one of the funniest episodes on the account of angry Ladybug.

I actually really liked that episode! The filler content wasn't too grating, and it was entertaining seeing Ladybug being a hothead! Also Adrien is right. Marinette is pretty funny.

[mercedesvince]

Could you do Wendy Testaburger, Ramona Flowers, Kim Pine and Knives Chau (separate) with Male!Reader who is incredible stupid and often does stuff that nearly gets him killed but always manages to survive by luck and convenience every time.

Thanks and have a nice day

Yes, I hope you enjoy :)

Wendy Testaburger x Male Reader (South Park)

Ramona Flowers x Male Reader (Scott Pilgrim vs. The world)

Kim Pine x Male Reader (Scott Pilgrim vs. The world)

Knives Chau x Male Reader (Scott Pilgrim vs. The world)

Wendy Testaburger

•For a short time, she figured you simply just liked the thrill and adrenaline, she could not wrap her head around the fact that you really did not understand what you were doing

•Always keeping an eye on you whenever you two were together

•Sometimes you really did confuse her as to why you did what you did

•Worried about you whenever you were not with her and she knew you were out doing something or on a trip

•There have been a few times where she panicked due to seeing you face a near death experience, but seeing you nearly miss something swinging at your head or land on top of you convinced her that something had to be protecting you

•Luck was truly on your side

•She would reprimand you a lot after and explain about how what you did was stupid and you could have died

•Would get annoyed a bit from having to grab your shirt and pull you back from things on multiple occasions

•But at the end of the day she still cared a lot about you and would always look out for you

•She holds your hand tightly when walking in crowded places or crossing roads

•She would try and teach or tutor you just to get your smarts up as to not put you into as many dangerous situations

•It worked sometimes, as before you would do something you would remember what you and Wendy went over

•This worked a handful of times and stopped you from eating, drinking or touching something that could have real hurt or killed you

•You make sure to let Wendy know how much you appreciate her caring and looking out for you :)

Ramona Flowers

•She was impressed the first few times she saw you dodge death

•As you guys continued going out, she realized it wasn’t anything skillful or talent that allowed you to get out of so many dangerous situations, just pure luck and coincidence

•She would laugh at some of your stupid comments, even after she realized you were not just joking

•Still, Ramona worried about you

•Would stick up for you in certain situations or keep a close eye on you every time you guys did something that was considered risky

•If you had to fight her ex’s, she would worry about how you might not realize how serious the situation was and get yourself killed, but you always pulled through

•Eventually, Ramona sat down a few times with you and had a few conversations about how you need to be more careful

•Keeping that in mind, you would start thinking things through before you acted, remembering Ramona’s words

•But even then, you still continued your streak of surviving danger

•She will ask every now and then about past experiences that involved you and your near death experiences before you met her

•Some of them were funny and she laughed, but others were just really concerning

•At the end of the day she is still happy that you are here and with her

Kim Pine

•Rolled her eyes at you the first couple times

•called you stupid or a few other names after

•Soon grew extremely concerned

•Kim was concerned as to why you would put yourself in so much danger, but soon she realized that you did not even know why

•Keeps you close by and always keeps an eye on you

•If you are not in Sex Bob-Omb, she is always looking for you in the crowd during breaks in there performance, keeping an eye on you

•If you are a part of the band she still keeps an eye on you making sure you do not do anything stupid on stage

•You have a tendency of doing cool things on stage (even if you do not really know what you are doing), but some do end up putting you in danger, like the first few times you almost fell off the stage

•She will laugh at some of the stupid things you say and do, but will also make sure you know when it is just too much

•She does not usually admit it, but you do scare her sometimes, she wonders if some day she will meet up with you, but your luck of avoiding death would have run out

•She has gotten mad a few times because of how dumb some things you have done are, she says it should be common sense to everyone not to do that

•Kim of course cares about you, and if you do ever end up getting hurt she is always there to help you out, even if her mood is sour

•She realizes you like her drum playing, so sometimes she will play for you just to entrance you so you do not get the chance to do anything stupid, dangerous, or risky

•If somethings around that she believes may put you in danger, she will try to distract you to keep you away from it, it always works

•She knows you are very capable of everything, but she can not help and wonder how you even manage to accomplish basic things without getting yourself killed

•Every time she sees you, she is glad that you are alive and well

•Even if you are not the brightest, she still is very happy to have you as her boyfriend

Knives Chau

•The first time Knives saw you escape death right in front of her, she thought you were super cool, She fan-girled over you and how cool it was that you did that completely unfazed

•The next few times, concern bubbles up in her, and she begins to ask you questions of “are you hurt?” and “woah how did you do that? are you sure you are ok?”

•Even if you answered Knives questions saying you were fine, she would still be concerned about your state and stick by you till she was sure you were alright

•One can only take seeing a loved one in danger so many times, she decided to ask you why you do so many risky and close to death stunts

•When you answered by “what do you mean?” she realized that maybe you did not have a clue about how dangerous your life can be

•If you go to the same school as her, she would have seen you and any of your friends pulling off stupid stunts, but she just assumed you were boys being boys

•But after a while she would catch on that you just did not have a ton of common sense compared to most people

•She still loved you the same, but would make sure to tell you when you guys would face something risky

•If you ever got made fun of for being a bit dumb, she would make sure to stick up for you

•Knives sticks by you making sure no one makes fun of you and keeps you safe

•She is so happy that you are her boyfriend, she swears she will always be there to save you from trouble

•You really are lucky, as now besides your large amount of luck you have knives to keep you safe

•She is also very willing to tutor you on anything you need help with, or explain how something works, or why it could kill you

•Does not usually get mad at you, just makes sure you always know what you are getting yourself into

•Even if you get yourself into risky situations, Knives loves the adrenaline rush she gets when she is with you sometimes

•You guys are really great together and have tons of fun memories

•She could not ask for a better guy