#the joke is he’s the one who’s hot in here

[miss-vanta-likes-to-write]

Head empty, no thoughts, just John Price and his inappropriately young pretty little plaything that he met by chance. This may become a fun little series.

(pt.2)

🔞MDNI🔞

Reader is a black girl. Price is a munch. Reader is bold and flirty. Daddy kink.

It's one of the few times that John puts his foot down and tells his team they are going to a cigar lounge instead of a pub to decompress for the weekend. He's stubborn about this because he has an underlying motive. When Soap asks him about it, he smirks and recounts the beautiful young woman he met and how Soap will be on his best behavior.

A cute American girl traveling abroad with her friends that he met in a coffee shop on the way to base one morning. She was absolutely golden, brown skin seemed to shine in the morning light, and the rather inappropriate turquiose sundress hugged every part of her deliciously. He stood behind her and her friends as they chatted about fun touristy things to get into before they figured out what salaciously fun things the nighttime brought. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her either and fuck was he staring because she definitely caught him staring.

"Are you going to stare handsome, or speak to me?" She smiled, and suddenly her friends had stopped talking, and they all looked at him. The three other girls giggling and putting space between this turquiose goddess and them.

"I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous you are." John smiled at her. "Price, John Price." He offered his hand, and when her dainty French manicured hand was in his, he brought it up to his lips and kissed it.

She introduced herself, keeping her eyes directly on his. He notices how her gaze trails over him, a slight lick of her pretty full lips, has him imagining her on her knees, his cock pressed fully to the back of her throat.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, John. I supposed you wouldn't mind showing me and my friends around. We wouldn't want to get wrapped up in any bad parts of town." Her smile is coy and radiant. She's a fucking tease.

"Ask if he has friends!" One of her friends flat out says.

She ignores them with a laugh and shake of her head. The barista calls her name, and without thinking, she takes the coffee and her receipt. Grabbing a pen, she scribbles her name and number on the back. "Here honey." She slips the paper in his hand. "Text me, and we can have fun." She drags her finger down his chest and leaves him right there. Ball planted firmly in his court.

Xoxo

You and your friends finally make it out of the Uber at the cigar lounge that John had told you about on Tuesday. You met the man on Monday, and by the time Wednesday rolled around, he had taken you to dinner. After your dinner date with him, he had you splayed out at his home, eating you pussy like his life depended on it. He then proceeded to turn you every which way but loose that night, and by the time he was done, the only name you could say was his.

Your friends teased you about your liking for older men, a group joke about daddy issues. You had always favored older and more accomplished men. Men that understood where the clit was, who enjoyed foreplay, and who could definitely sweat out your hair and properly fold you in half. So when John insisted that you and your friends come out with him and his colleagues for the evening, you had to practically demand and call in favors for the night to happen. Even going as far as saying that the next night out could be as ratchet as possible with no complaints from you.

Leading the pack into the dimly lit and surprisingly intimate lounge, your eyes scan the various booths for your vacation boyfriend. Because that's what he was all things considered. A hot, burly, sexy lay to look back fondly on when you go back to reality after vacation. You spot him and beeline it right to his table, with him are three other men, but you only have eyes for him. In what has to be the boldest move of your life, you slip right into his lap, ignoring the confused looks of the other three men. Moving the cigar between his lips out of the way, you kiss him right on the lips.

The absolute shock at the table is palpable. You faintly hear someone go, "Tha's how it is Cap?" In the world's strongest Scottish accent. One of your friends lets out a low whistle.

You pay it no mind though, as you cup his face, thumbs tracing the shape of his facial hair. He kisses you back, seemingly unaware of the audience. When you pull away, he smiles, and there are little crinkles in the corner of his eyes.

"Hello to you too, Sweetheart." His voice is low and barely sounds above a rumble. He rubs the upper part of your thigh that your mini dress barely covers. He then introduces his colleagues, who you gather are more like family with the way they rib on each other and you introduce yourself and friends. Before you know it, there's drinks on the table and and everyone is somewhat tipsy with liquid courage.

"So how old are you?" The one everyone, for some reason, refers to as Soap asks you. He's looking at you with a lopsided grin and raised eyebrow, and his gaze keeps flickering towards John. There's a secret joke between the two and it looks like Soap wants to cackle the second you say your age.

"I'm old enough to drink, let's leave it at that." You laugh.

"She's twenty-three." One of your friends barks with laughter. You simply roll your eyes and lean back against John (who insisted you stay right in his lap).

True to your suspicion, Soap cackles "A bit young fer ye Cap?" He's clearly on the other side of tipsy.

John has a blank face, "Johnny." He starts.

But you beat him to it, "So? All that matters is that he puts me to sleep, and he does a damn good job doing it. Younger boys could never." You then give John another kiss on the lips. The taste of whiskey and cigar smoke makes you groan. This time, when you pull away, you stare into his oh so blue eyes. "John, I'm tired, and I wanna leave." You whisper to him.

"Are you sure Sweetheart?"

"Yes, my friends and your friends can find their own way home."

🔞NSFW🔞

"Fuck" You moan as John throws your legs over his shoulders. He keeps his face pressed to your pussy as he once again pulls you apart. His tongue is fucning into you nice and slow. He's teasing you, or he's either really enjoying you. At this point, you can't tell. The air is humid, but the ac is keeping you cool. You wriggle and gasp each time his nose bumps up against your clit.

His grip only tightens, "Stay still baby girl, and let Daddy eat." He practically growls before shoving his tongue into you as deep as he can. He drags his tongue from out of your opening and then latches onto your clit and sucks. He keeps the suction on you as the tip of his tongue flicks across it.

Pleasure zips up your spine, and you grasp at his hair. Trying desperately to grind into his face or pull him away. He won't let you. He isn't even entertaining the idea of breathing, to focus on wringing every bit of pleasure from you. There's a knot in the pit of your stomach, and suddenly, you're screaming and seeing stars. You feel it, at first it's a trickle then it's a gush.

You actually squirted in his face. The sound of him drinking up and slurping down your juices makes you unbelievably hot. Your breathing is labored, and it's only the start of him fucking you. Slowly, he looks up and finally sits up. His face is slick and shiny in the moonlit glow of the room. Eyes blown wide with a primal lust. It frightens you with how this large and burly man went from a gentleman to a damn sex god as soon as you were in his house and naked. He prowls up your body, keeping intense eye contact with you. His hand cups the side of your face, thumb ghosting over your lips before he kisses you.

The taste of yourself on his tongue is heavy, and you like it. You lick into his mouth and suck on his tongue. The tip of his dick is pressed against you, and you're hoping and praying your IUD does its big one. He doesn't break the kiss as he feeds you inch after inch of himself into you. Breaking the kiss you lean your head back and sigh at the stretch.

"There you baby girl. Fuck this pussy is tight and warm." He grunts when he manages to slide in the way in one go. "She's taking me so well." He hikes your legs higher onto his hips and grinds into slowly.

"Pleasee, do- ah- don't tease me," you whine as his happy trail rubs gently against your clit.

John leans up after he sucks a hickey into the side of your neck and pulls out slightly. Your legs are repositioned over the crook of his arms, and he slams back into you. It knocks the breath from you and makes your eyes go wide. Each snap of his hips has you letting out a breathy and high-pitched squeal. John seems to like those noises because he doubles his efforts.

The room is filled with your moans and his grunts and the pap pap pap of his thighs slapping against your ass. Your hands fist the bedsheets in an effort to ground yourself from floating away.

John leans forward, pressing your legs close to your chest. His pounding thrust turned into a hard, rough grind. There's a swivel to his motion, his brows knitted together, clearly looking for something. Each grind of his hips has you gasping and scratching lightly at his arms and dragging your fingers across his chest. You bite your lip and whimper at the pressure he puts on you.

"Come on, baby girl," He whispers, "I know you can let me find it. She can't stay hidden the whole time."

You don't know what it is he's talking about until you feel him rub at just the right angle and your eyes roll back. "Oh Daddy, yes!"

"There she is." He then seeks out that same spot that not even your own fingers can reach. This man is trying to kill you. He's certainly raising the bar for every man that comes after you. It's a shame you can't keep him. He folds you into a mating press, still pistoning his hips into, aiming for what you know is g-spot.

The room is spinning, and you can barely keep your eyes open. The only word you repeat is "Daddy, daddy, daddy-"

He coos at you, "I'm Daddy now?" It's patronizing in a way, and you don't mind it. In fact it makes your pussy clench down on him. "Fu- fuck baby, of course I'll be daddy, and daddy's s'always gonna take care of his baby. Fuck fuck fuck." He

"Daddy, please-"

"Aw, is my baby girl close?" He somehow manages to breathe out through gritted teeth.

You can only nod your head as reasonable thought leaves you. He moves a hand down and swipes his thumb across your clit. Your body seizes and thrashes and shakes as you're thrown into bliss. He fucks your through it, prolonging the feeling. There's the sound of something wet, and distantly, you know that he managed to get you to squirt again. He's leering at where you're squirting on him and how his dick is slick and shiny. The hair at the base of his dick is wet with your juices, and the sound of your squeals reverberates in his head. He can't stop. He's so close.

"Daddy" you're on the edge of another orgasm, it feels like it's gonna teeter on the edge of over stimulation.

He groans and presses you back into a full mating press. His rhythm became a little sloppy. "I know baby girl- ah ah fuck- Daddy's almost done, just fuck- you can take it baby girl and I'm gonna take such good care of you just like how you took care of Daddy." His words are whispers and grunts in the space between you both. There are no words coming from you, just whimpers and gasps and what may sound like the phrase "in me"

He hears you through his own babbling, "in you baby girl. Tha what you want. You want Daddy to fill you up?"

You squealed "Daddy oh God!" Just as you fell into your last orgasm. It straddles the line between painful and blissful and your eyes roll back. Mouth agape as your body begs to arch, but the mating press he has you locked in won't allow you to even move.

"Fuck!" He bellows and grinds his hips into you. Warmth spreads into you as you feel him empty himself. He keeps his hips flushed with yours. He stays like that for a long moment, trying to catch his breath.

"Good God." You sigh, "that was amazing."

"You know... I can't let anyone else have you now, right?" He whispers.

"John," you giggle tiredly, "talk to me after the sun comes up."

"Fine, but I mean it."

[petriwriting]

Swimming Lessons - JJ Maybank X Reader

Request.

A/N: This was so cute...

Growing up in the outerbanks and being unable to swim was hysterically ironic. You enjoyed the pool, and the beach as long as the water wasn't too deep. You liked baths, hot tubs and jacuzzis, but for some reason you just never learned how to swim properly, which raised an insecurity that you couldn't swim. Of course, naturally everyone can swim, but the thought of the darkness undernarth you and the absence of the grounding earth under your feet, it was absolutely terrifying. But, you were willing to learn.

"JJ I can't swim."

you protest, it's the evening, the air is warm and humid and the sea breeze has a slight chill. JJ holds you, bridal style over the water. 

"JJ I'm serious!" you say louder, growing scared as he carries you into deeper water, it's now waist length deep for him. He's still standing, which means you could too, but it is a bit scary since you can't swim. Your bottom starts to meet the cold water and you squeal. "Hey I got you," JJ says with a laugh. you hold onto him tighter. "I don't understand how you can do this for fun." you say. 

"Swimming is boring, wait till I can show you how to surf. You'll be flying across those waves." He jokes continuously. He pretended to drop you and laughed it off again, enjoying your nervous laughter and smile. You protest one more time. "JJ I can't swim." you say serious this time, your tone sobering up. "And I told you I won't let you drown," he says sternly. you sigh in defeat. He gently puts you down, slightly deeper than before, your chest is met with the chilly ocean water and sea foam. "This.. isn't too bad." you say, you are simply standing in the sand, not really swimming. 

Before you can say anything else a huge wave crashes over you, sending you hurdling into JJ who holds you still. "Oh my god," you exclaim. "That was scary," you sigh, pushing your wet hair out of your face. "Babe, it's the ocean. there will be waves." JJ says, with a look. "They aren't even that bad today. this is pretty calm." he reassures you. 

"Alright, let's try this." he insists. "Float on your back, just to practice." he instructs, you follow suit hesitantly and do as he says. you are floating on your back, or trying to at least. There is comfort in knowing you can easily stand if you need to. "Hey," he says, his eyes are looking deep into yours. It's a sweet moment. "I got you." he says gently. 

You try again, one more time until you are comfortably floating on your back in JJ's arms. He cheers you on encouragingly. "one more time, ok?" he asks. "This time you gotta close your eyes. I'll be right here, promise." he says. you begin to float on your back the same as before. you keep your eyes open for as long as you can until he is insistent you close them. Darkness. you feel the flow of the waves, and are relaxed and amazed by the ocean and how she carries you and cradles you as if you're a baby. you got a glimpse of why JJ and his friends loved surfing and swimming so much. It was comforting. It felt safe.

You open your eyes and you have drifted and floated out further than you would have liked, JJ's arms are not beneath you and you begin to panic, your feet can't feel the sand beneath them, terrified, you remembered everything JJ had told you about swimming. "It's as easy as breathing, you'll know what to do. It's an instinct." 

You look up and see JJ has swam out closer to the shore and is waiting and watching for you. You are slightly angry he broke the promise but you swim towards him and before you know it you're swimming. He claps and cheers for you. "You got this!" you swim right up to him and pull him under the water. swimming now feels effortless. He got you out of your comfort zone.

"Nice try you can't drown me i'm a strong swimmer," He jokes. The two of you race to the shore and you chase him up onto the beach until you're both exhausted and laying on the sand. "JJ," you say finally after some silence. "Thank you for teaching me to swim." you say. "Nah, don't thank me. you did all the work," he smirks, looking down at your lips for a pause and then kissing you tenderly. 

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

❃ FLUFFCEMBER 2024 ❃

day 01: holiday decorations — lewis hamilton x reader

song rec: my kind of woman - mac demarco

“as long as you’re next to me, just the two of us”

fluffcember masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You and Lewis had decided to spend the Holidays at your place, and you couldn’t wait for him to be finished with the season and come over! You knew how much this year had drained him and you really wanted everything to be perfect for the cozy relaxing time you will spend together. Also, your family would be joining you two for Christmas, so the decorations must be absolutely flawless!

Except… your boss asked you to work some more days before vacation. He was a very kind person and needed help, so you didn’t have the heart to say no. And when you came back home, the day before Lewis’ arrival, you were so exhausted that you fell asleep instantly and forgot about the decorations.

The next day, when Lewis ringed your doorbell, you were so worried he wouldn’t like your bare house. You opened the door and closed it behind him. “Hi.” He looked absolutely handsome, as always.

“Hello, my love.” He let his luggages down and hugged you tightly. “Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to be here.” He caressed your cheek and softly kissed you on the lips. Lewis’ smile faded when he saw your sad face. “Hey, what happened?”

“I’m sorry you have to see the house like this.” You lowered your gaze, a bit embarrassed.

He looked around, frowning confused. “What’s wrong with the house?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? There are no decorations! I know you had a rough time this season and I wanted you to find everything decorated for Christmas, but I had to work till late these days and…” you sighed “It’s the most boring house ever!”

He smiled, a bit amused by your reaction, his hands still holding your face. “Who cares? You’re here, it could never be boring.” His brown bambi eyes searched for yours.

You hugged him again, nuzzling your face against his strong chest. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He placed another kiss on your forehead. “You know what? We’ll do the decorations together. It will be even more fun!”

You nodded, finally smiling.

You helped him unpack his things and order them in the closet, all tidy as he liked. Then you two picked up the decoration from your garage and put on some Christmas music. Suddenly his presence made you feel happy again. You started with the three. It took you a lot to put all the baubles, Lewis following your orders without a single disagreement. He almost ended up tangled in the colorful lights and you laughed at him. Oops. Then it was time to decorate the rest of the house. In between one decoration and another, he took your hand in his to make you swing to the rhythm of music.

“Here.” He said, wrapping you around in a fluffy golden tinsel.

“Lewis!” You protested, chuckling, trying to get it off yourself.

“Bet your family will love it.” He joked.

By evening, you both were tired, but happy with how the house turned out, very warm and cozy. After dinner and a hot cup of camomile, you curled up together in the bed, under the fresh sheets. “Thank you, Lew.”

“Don’t. It was the best day I had in a while.” He kissed you on the nose. “You make me happy.”

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of fics I think you should read twice as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers. You can find my other recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

🍒 This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere

(E, 149k, X-Men au) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe.

🍒 There’s Such a Lot of World to See by @crinkle-eyed-boo

(E, 125k, Doctor Who au) Louis has seen a great many things throughout his travels in time and space, but only one he can’t explain: He keeps meeting the same boy, who says the same thing to him each time.

🍒 And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 109k, blind Louis) For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him? For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart?

🍒 ghost of you by beckywritesthings / @beckydoesthings

(E, 109k, Star Wars au) when Harry Styles, esteemed Jedi Knight, finds out he has to work with the hot-tempered Mandalorian Duke, Louis Tomlinson, he’s prepared for it to go poorly. But it doesn’t, testing both of their boundaries of what they deem acceptable for a partnership.

🍒 Black with Autumn Rain by whimsicule / @baroness-elsa

(T, 93k, magical realism) Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren't exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

🍒 Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

(E, 83k, royal) Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. 

🍒 Unveiled by @phdmama

(M, 65k, omegaverse) most surprising are the people. There is a crowd gathered, filled with men and women, some in what looks to be a military uniform, some in what must be the street clothes in this Land. There are no robes. And not a single one of them is veiled.

🍒 Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember by @jaerie

(E, 53k, time travel) H.S. was likely the man in the photographs as well as the owner of the suitcase. Who was he? Why had his suitcase found its way into Niall’s attic? Was he still alive and well somewhere in the world? A camera, a suitcase, and a relationship forged through time.

🍒 Tied to Fate by @littlelouishiccups

(E, 52k, ghost) After his estranged father’s death, Harry inherits a castle in England that has belonged to his family for generations and he knows nothing about. When he breaks up with his boyfriend, Harry decides England is the perfect place for a small vacation. He isn’t prepared to meet Louis Tomlinson

🍒 The Second Hand Unwinds by @kingsofeverything

(E, 51k, time travel) Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

🍒 Tied Down by HamPalpert

(E, 48k, crime) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. 

🍒 take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots / @anylessreal

(M, 45k, amnesia) the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.

🍒 And That's The Tea by @2tiedships2

(M, 27k, soulmates) the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be.

🍒 No One Like You by myownspark / @myownsparknow

(M, 19k, historical) Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

🍒 I Am the Blinking Light by @dearmrsawyer

(G, 19k, ghost) There is a legend of a lighthouse far out to sea. It can’t be found on any map, and those who do find it never return. They say a ghost haunts the lighthouse, and you can hear it calling out in loneliness on the ocean waves.

🍒 Have Me And Hold Me by @letsjustsee

(NR, 5k, established relationship)  a wedding day AU in which Louis will let nothing stand in the way of a perfect day - especially a little rain.

🍒 No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way by runaway_train / @runaway-train-works

(E, 3k, camboy) The one where Harry has a particular desire that only Louis can fulfill

- Rare Pairs -

🍒 I Had Rather (series) by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships

(E, 261k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Nick and Louis like each other, but sometimes that's not enough.

🍒 Miss Missing You by harriet_vane

(M, 16k, Liam/Louis) Louis wakes up after an accident with a year of memories gone and something not quite right about his relationship with Liam.

🍒 Favourite Boy by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

(T, 8k, Louis/Zayn) Zayn and Louis have been hook-ups for the past three years and Zayn is getting frustrated with it, but doesn't know what to do about it.

[junedenim]

wrap my head around it all

a whole new thing

warnings: it's just fluff

word count: 3k

You're eating a bagel. He's drinking a cup of coffee. There's an ache that's been relieved. It feels this way whenever he comes home and he's been home for a month now but he still feels just how good this is, looking across at you as you scarf down a bagel so quickly he fears you'll choke.

"It isn't going anywhere." He chuckles at his own joke. He's ashamed of himself, you don't have to tell him.

And you know that. You wipe your hands on a napkin and throw your head back with a groan. "I'm so hungry."

He grins. "Do you want me to get you another one?"

You hum in thought, taking your time like you're concentrating on solving world hunger. Then, you sigh, your shoulders slumping as your hands return to what remains of your bagel. "No. I'll spoil lunch."

He chuckles and rests his head in the palm of his left hand. His gaze is soft and relaxed, focused on you. "I hate to break it to you but we're way past noon. That is your lunch."

You whine and rub the cream cheese off the corners of your mouth. "Fine. Then, I'm spoiling dinner. How would your parents like it if I didn't eat anything?"

He laughs at your worry and picks up his cup of coffee, dragging a sip from it. "I think they'll understand. Plus, I highly doubt you won't be hungry by dinner time."

Your shoulders slump as you chew the remains of your bagel. "I know, it's dreadful. This constant state of hunger I've been forced into."

"We all appreciate it," Alex assures, hiding his amusement from your frustration. "At least you're not retching every 20 minutes."

You lean back in your chair and drop the dirty napkin with the rest of your bagel's trash. "Small favours, huh?"

"Do you want me to get you another one?" Alex offers again. His attentiveness to you has only grown through the years. Perhaps, now, it's at an all-time high. But he likes being able to take care of you. It's the least he can do.

You shake your head. "No, I'd like to walk around a little now." It's cold, windy, and slightly raining. People are rushing into the cafe from the cold, but you want to walk around in it. He supposes there is where you lose him but he'll tighten his coat, put on a hat, and slip on some gloves if it's what you want. Besides, if it'll stop you complaining about how hot the cafe is then he can't complain.

He fixes the askew hat on your head and opens the door for you. As you two walk down the street, he places his hands in his pockets, forming a loop of his arms. You slip your arm through it, tugging him close, brushing your side up against his. "It's going to rain all week," Alex comments on the weather patterns.

"I like it when it rains." You are smiling through the gloom. In that smile, there's a lifetime of love and it is so strange that it feels so normal for him to feel this way. It was never a gradual thing. It was sudden the first time you talked to one another and he felt that he could reach out to you and you would never push him away. Silver lining is cheesy but all that tension he builds throughout his life is somehow relieved in the glimmer of your teeth.

The mundanity is the craziest. Everything felt like it had to be a big show of things. He had to slick back his hair and play make-believe in every moment but now, it's a sigh of relief. To come home to someone—to come home to you and not have to play pretend anymore. To roll out of bed and not have to decide who to play today, instead, decide where to go for breakfast.

Maybe it's getting older, but he thinks it lies in learning the importance of caring for someone else. He always has with his friends and family and past girlfriends but there's something different here. It's him relinquishing himself to that, allowing you to look after him. To wake up and find you've made coffee or come home and find you've bought him a new shirt. It's simple. Doing the laundry, cooking dinner, grocery shopping. It's so dull but in fact the greatest thing ever. That feeling has only grown as of late.

"Where are we walking to?" He asks.

You shrug and look over at him. "I don't know. We could...window shop or...," you think, tapping your finger on your chin, "go to the park or—"

"In the rain?" He questions, an eyebrow raised.

You smile and lean closer to him. Something you know gets him all twisted up around your finger, and you are willing to do anything you decide. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to," he reasons, but the grin is already playing on his lips and light chuckles ripple through him as your lips grow closer and closer until you're hovering over his.

"Fine," you decide, shocking him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm cold," you declare. You cuddle closer to him all pouty. It's the way you've been as of late whether the cold of winter or your hormones. "Let's go baby shopping."

"Baby shopping?"

"Yeah, we haven't really done it yet and we could look for cute itty bitty baby clothes," you reason.

The baby is new. Or rather the pregnancy. It's the reason for dinner with his parents. It wasn't planned but it wasn't unplanned. You'd been together for years, married for two, and, well, you, him, and baby makes three. 

You found out a couple of weeks ago. It's changed things for him with the whole caring thing. He's always cared, obviously, but now he finds himself interested in every little aspect of the pregnancy. He'd never thought he'd be that guy who reads the books and talks to your stomach (which you don't know about, he's too embarrassed to do it while you're awake), but things change and he'd never thought he'd be a father but here he is walking into a baby clothing store to buy clothes for his—well, your—baby. 

He still hasn't processed the whole "baby" part of things. He knows there will be a baby but he can't yet imagine having the baby. You being pregnant doesn't even quite feel real yet. You're barely showing and he only feels it might be real when he talks to it. That feels weird to call it it. But he's tried calling it he or she but that's a mouthful. You don't like him calling it it so he started calling it names. 

First, it was normal. "Mary," "John," "Elizabeth," "James," but you didn't like that either because the baby didn't have a name. The baby hasn't even developed that part of them yet. So, he calls it "tot," "bug," "pumpkin," and his personal favorite, "the fetus." You're not sure why but he makes him laugh. Maybe it's the boyish part of him that still thinks boobies are the coolest thing ever.

"Should we really buy clothes if we don't know the gender yet?" He asks as you search through the girlish items.

"A baby isn't modeling for the cover of Vogue. We just need to find an outfit to take the baby home in. A hat and a onesie." You pick up a cute pink one with little pink bows printed across it. "Look how cute and small this one is."

"What if it's a boy?"

You roll your eyes. "Real men wear pink, you know that better than anyone."

He chuckles. "Touché."

You point the onesie back and state, "Besides, we're probably going to have a girl anyway. My family is filled with girls."

"Well, my family has guys," Alex points out.

"What? You?" You laugh at him. "Yes, statistically your parents did have 100% guys."

"Shut up," he mutters as he comes closer and lands a kiss on you. There are the moments that count, that are embedded and embossed deep into his mind. They are small but mighty. It's right up there with shopping for a new shower curtain. It's stupid but it's real. Arguing over whether it should be flowers or ducks (he really wanted the ducks for some reason). You compromised with polka dots, not that that part matters much. It was more doing it with you. He doesn't know why other than it's fun and he loves you. 

You move further down the aisle, looking through bees, princesses, and truck designs. "The baby will be born in August. What screams August to you?"

"Sweat," he replies.

"Be serious," you urge him, your eyes staring strongly at him. He can feel the pupil blaze through him like a laser.

"I am," he says, "I think of sweating, the heat, sun."

"Aw," you coo as a smile grows on your lips. "Cute little suns and if we have a son then it'll be like son and sun. Get it?"

He smiles down at you, struggling to process all of this. "Yeah, I get it." A son, a daughter, a child. It knocks him off his feet. He gets hit with these waves. It's nerves but it's also excitement. The idea that a baby will be in that small onesie. A part of him will be in the world, running off, getting into nonsense. He has a few years until that. Hopefully, he'll catch up by then.

You buy the onesie with suns on it and leave after that. There will be plenty of time to spend plenty more money at the store but for now, you head to the bookstore next door. It's small with aching floors and dusty shelves. You're just trying to kill time until dinner and this seems like a good place to start.

You drag him by hand to the children's book section because despite it being another few years until the baby can read, but you like the idea of reading to the baby every night, even if they can't understand a word of what you're saying. Between Madeline and The Giving Tree, you say, "You know, these are the last couple of months of our lives, it'll be just the two of us."

He picks up Curious George, distracting himself by looking through the pictures. "You say that like you want me to panic."

"No," you assure him, placing your hands on his shoulder, giving them a squeeze. "This is such a special time in our lives. We'll never experience something like this again. Shopping for our baby, nervous, scared, anxious, happy, excited. And I get to do it all with you."

He shakes his head and puts Curious George back on the shelf, turning to you. "You really have a gift."

"What?" You ask eagerly.

Alex takes your hands off his shoulders and squeezes them. "Nothing. You just always know how to make me feel better."

"I know it's hard for you to believe but it goes both ways. I'm panicking too, you know? I have to push a whole human being out of me."

"I know. How selfish am I to be the one who's scared."

"No. It's perfectly reasonable. It's a life-changing thing that'll cry, poop, pee, and spit all over you. I guess, I just take comfort in knowing I have you to hold my hand."

He takes a deep breath and tries to let the stress go. "You're going make me cry next to Harold and the Purple Crayon."

"Well, this is my way of guilting you into changing all the diapers so it works out pretty good."

Alex then gets carried away by a Batman Lego set and despite the knowledge that it can't be anywhere near a child until it's no longer a choking hazard. Perhaps, it's more for Alex than the baby. He doesn't get it because he doesn't want to carry it around for the rest of the day but he's not saying he won't come back for it.

You leave with Harold and the Purple Crayon for memory's sake. The rain has stopped but the wind is still cold and the pavement is soaked wet with puddles. You huddle close together once again.

Alex asks, "Are you cool with the whole giving birth thing?"

You laugh at him. "I don't have much of a choice. Why? Do you want to try?"

"If I could, I would."

"No, you wouldn't, but I appreciate the sentiment. Besides, it's kind of cool. A special thing that only I get to experience. I mean, the thing is growing in me, that's crazy but cool."

"Yeah, the tot is a part of you."

You hum. "I want french fries."

He smiles. "Okay. I could go for a burger."

Fast food being on every corner does have its conveniences. McDonald's is warm, separating you from the world's chill. "My mother had short labours. How long was your mother in labour for?"

"I don't know. You can ask her at dinner."

"I'm definitely getting an epidural. I don't care if it slows the process down. You know I'm in pain from just a headache. I wouldn't survive natural labour."

"Good thing for modern medicine."

"If it was the 1800s you could just give me a bunch of morphine and knock me out."

"I'll tell them to have some ready for you."

You sit in a booth that is mildly sticky but he'll ignore it if it'll ease your feet. He bought the large fries with the intention of it being shared between the two of you but instead, you take it for yourself. He enjoys his burger.

"We should have gotten a Happy Meal," you joke, dipping the fry into the ketchup pile. 

He smiles because despite being freaked out 99% of the time, the 1%—the idea of doing things like this, buying a Happy Meal for his kid—outweighs it all. "Yeah, would've gotten a cool toy too."

"Well, as long as you eat your apple slices." You smile up at him and he blushes. He's been with you for so long and yet he still gets flushed under your gaze, lost in your eyes, falling in love over and over again. It's cheesy and cliche, but that doesn't make it untrue.

He steals a fry away and asks, "What should we name the tot?"

You shake your head. "No clue. Is it weird that that is what terrifies me the most?"

"No, they're going to carry it around with them for their whole life. It's the first major life decision we’ll make for them. Well, after, you know, making them."

You giggle at him with a mouthful of fries. "Yeah. If it's a boy should we name it after you?"

"God no." There doesn't need to be another Alex Turner in the world. That would make things far too confusing.

"What about for a middle name?"

"Nah, the kid is already getting my last name."

"Should we go away? Like a babymoon or whatever it's called?" You ask.

"Sure, if it's anything like our honeymoon." You went to Bora Bora. You didn't see much of Bora Bora. It was your hotel and the water pretty much of which Alex insisted on giving an equal show of things, which you'd be mildly embarrassed by if you weren't so turned on by it. Besides, you came back with no tan lines.

"Shut up," you wish upon him.

He laughs because he really is just a teenage boy who still finds sex to be funny. But it's a lovely sight to see with the crinkle by his eyes and the smile lines forming. You always like him like this. He can be moody and pensive a lot of the time. When he laughs, it feels like he fully lets go, if only for a moment. 

"Where would we go?" He asks.

"A cottage in the woods or something. I don't know. I might be too pregnant to fly by the time we do it."

"You're going to be so cute with a belly."

"Please don't turn into some pregnancy fetishist, Alex," you warn him.

And, no, he won't be going up to pregnant women on the street and asking to touch their bellies but there is something inherently attractive about you being pregnant. It's probably some biological design.

"I can't help it if I want to fuck you."

"Alex!" You scold looking around the McDonald's in shame. Much wilder things have been said in places like this but you still turn red whenever he gets suggestive, especially in this vulgar way like some need has overtaken him and he needs to have you right now. Like he'll take you on the red paint-chipped table. 

He chuckles and bites into his burger. So nonchalant in every way like nothing affects him. It's easy for him to be casual about these things. He's pretty sure a corner of his brain is thinking about things like that all the time. He's pretty sure he thinks of your boobs every night before bed and wakes up thinking about your ass. Again, he's pretty sure it's that inherent biological man thing.

"In a couple of months, you'll be so pumped full of hormones you'll want me to fuck you in the bathroom of this place."

You reach across the table and start smacking him but he just laughs more and more, getting a real kick of this. "Will you shut up?" Truthfully, you kind of want to go jump his bones now.

*

a/n: sigh, just a little something for now. trying to write more but my finals have been a bitch. but winter break is soon...

[missmarveledsblog]

Never doubt the Matchmaker ( jake seresin x reader )

Summary : nat phoenix trace was well known by her friends and coworkers as being a excellent matchmaker although jake seresin thinks it all bullshit till he finally let her set him up and jake learns never to doubt the matchmaker ...

warnings : goofy , fluffy , miscommunication sort of rom com feel to it , picture doesn't describe the reader just cover art i started making for fics

Natasha trace  was a woman of many talents , she was strong , determined , and calculated . all good qualities that made her one of best female pilots but she also had another talent one that didn't even remotely have to do with the navy and it was her match making skills . when she disclosed the information it got laughs  , didn't bother her she laughed along with them .  then one by one it would start off joking then hinting to outright asking. first it was fanboy then bob then javy then rooster. only one she didn't get asked by was payback giving the man was already married and jake who still thought it was all  crock .  she didn’t really concern herself with what bagman had to say the results spoke for themself .  fan boy was living with the barista she set him up with , bob was married to the animal shelter volunteer , javy was still going strong with the yoga instructor while  rooster only began seeing the nurse it was still good and boy was he already gone . the results spoke for themselves as always but jake still a skeptic , still ready to shoot it all down of course . 

“ he’s just afraid of finding the one is all “ rooster laughed .

“ i mean i don’t doubt your skill but hangman finding the one is a bit far fetched “ bob shook his head amused in the constantly denial of the match making but in fairness they all were  til she did her thing. 

“ don’t worry bagman i wouldn’t subject any woman to deal with you “  phoenix rolled her eyes . 

“ because its not working i mean rooster would fall in love with a rock” he countered as the brunette exclaimed out a “ hey “ 

 “ why does it bother you so much , you feeling left out , a little lonely “ she taunted . 

“ never lonely phoenix i can get a girl to keep me warm at night any time” he winked  taking his shot potting the ball . 

“ why don’t you let her set you up then “ bob suggested . 

“ he’s right you think it’s fake then prove it “ javy added . 

“ ain’t you suppose to be on my side here?” 

“ come on man what have you got to lose”  rooster smirked . 

“ you know what i’ll bit just to show you i’m right” he crossed his arms looking to the female pilot.

“Fine  i’ll set you up bagman “ nat shook her head . 

It had been weeks since the whole agreement in the hard deck and jake constantly being the one to let her know the fact . then like an angel to answer all there prayers she found the one , the one that would have jake seresin eating his words .  then one day during lunch jake was looking at text of details for a date saturday . he promised to give the woman a chance   , knowing full well it would end like all his dates do  and that part wasn’t so bad .  He’d gotten the womans number striking up a conversation , she could least do that only thing was when he asked for selfie she would reply later , later never came then it was “ i forgot next” which didn’t fill him with much fate but still keeping his word he continues to chat . saturday he was on the beach  a regular tradition now playing dog fight football as the guys asked about his  date. 

“ i mean we text but no selfies so not promising “ he called as nat shook her head. 

“ she hot bagman not that it matters “ she rolled her eyes . 

“ all chicks say there friends are hot , i’m just being honest” he smirked . 

“ not al about looks “ rooster pointed out . 

“ says the guy with the hot nurse girlfriend , you telling me if she wasn’t attractive to you in the smallest bit you would be with her ?” he asked . 

“ yeah because of the person , she is” . 

“ again not that it matters but y/n is a hotty and well able to handle you “ nat scoffed . 

“ yeah we’ll see about that phoenix”. 

When he got home  still texting his date asking her what she was going to wear so he would be able find her .  all he got back was long red dress probably something a grandma would wear  he didn’t know why but that was what he thought . then he got ready   thinking the worse as time got closer , like it was set up in a different way , a ploy for phoenix to get back at him and set him up with some lady that had twenty cars the generic mad woman crossing his mind .  he could slip out early that was for sure  although javy was telling him it would be ok also agreed to call with fake emergency. He was glad he agreed to meet somewhere else because if this was a trick least there would be no witnesses that was for sure . checking over least he looked good   as he looked down at his dress pants that fit snugly on his legs of the light blue almost whitish blue shirt that made his chest and arms look great . he was ready to prove natasha trace wrong and make a  lady happy to get the jake seresin experience . he was sure it was going to be a disaster , some sort of catfish situation even though he had yet to she her face expectations were not high. He stood outside  the bar it was classy  place so who he thought he would meet would stand out a mile off already building an image of some desperate woman .   parking and taking one look at his phone both message one to tell him she was at the bar and another from javy to have good time but he was also on standby if needed . heading in there was one woman at the bar in a red dress , long that stopped at her shins , her long legs crossed with a pair of black open toed heels   , spagetti string straps as she looked around she was gorgeous. Maybe if his  date failed he could ? . 

She couldn’t believe she let natasha trace do her whole match maker thing knowing how it was going to fail , from texting the guy it was ok nothing special didn’t seem like he was into it either so least she wouldn’t be the only one who was going to go into it with less expectations , plus she could only imagine what she was going to meet not that she didn’t find  nat’s flyboy friends attractive because they were but they lacked a little something  .  she herself worked as a mechanic not as glorious or as dangerous as  the navy but she and nat bonded over being in a male dominated area even still she was confused as the receptionist . now here she was sitting waiting for some stranger  when she could be in her shop finishing the shit ton of cars that needed to be fixed but maybe a few drinks would be ok  , help take the busy week off her shoulders . one so busy she kept forgetting to send a selfie and then she thought it would be more fun to keep the mystery going . she text him to let him know he was at the bar barely flickering her gaze  when he text to say  he was outside well here it was. 

“ showtime “ she winked to the bartender downing the drink waiting for whatever disaster  that was coming her way . 

“Erm y/n “ the  southern drawl clear his throat she turned to raise her hand. 

“ over here” she smiled ok , so he wasn’t tragic looking maybe it was shallow but hey he was gorgeous blonde so she wasn’t complaining . 

“ well darling nice to meet you “ he beamed , he’d give nat this one she was the hotty at the bar . 

“ jake?  Nice to meet you too “ she held her hand out almost swallowed in his own , lifting it to his lips and kissing her hand .

“ what are you drinking ?” he nudged . 

“ just beer , southern boy huh” her own accent coming out more as she talked . 

“ austin born and raised , you ?” he took the seat  noting the slight disappointed glance of bartender since he came over. 

“ dallas , would you like to go sit down and get some food because i for one am hungry ?”  

“ lead the way beautiful whatever you want it on me “  he beamed holding his hand out and letting her take him anywhere and it would be anywhere damn she was like a siren luring him to sea .  following the sway of her hips like they were personal hypnotizing him and maybe they were , pulling the seat out putting the full gentlemen charm because shit she had him hooked with her body already . 

“ so jake from austin what made you ask nat for her skills “ she asked looking up  ever the gentlemen pulling her chair out and pushing it in for her as she looked up through her lashes at the blonde . 

“ honest answer?” to which she nodded .  “ honestly i wanted to see if she was good as other say kinda a skeptic but maybe not so much “ he winked as her  head tipped back and wondrous sound of her laugh came out. 

“ oh my god same i only agreed because she set my cousin up with ostrich , duck some bird dude “ she laughed . 

“ rooster?” 

“ YES !  i haven’t met him yet but my cousin  ironic dove is singing his praise then when she told me she got a perfect match not gonna lie since your being honest and all but i said no for while stuff at works been well hectic “ she shook her head. 

“ what is you do , you never said in your texts plus you owe me a selfie or two “ he teased . 

“ a mechanic actually while other girls where playing with barbies i was playing with tools and hotwheels i’m only girl of a bunch of boys so i guess when i wanted to be one of them safe to say my mom was little let down to say the least “ she chuckled . 

“ i’m only boy of bunch of girls i’m second born though “ 

“I’m the baby  , i’m actually working in a shop owned by my two older brothers and top at my job not as exciting as being a aviator for the navy though” she winked . 

“ nah i’m impressed least i know if my truck ever  has trouble i know who will take care of it for me” he smirked leaning forward honestly he hated how much he was going to be hearing nat gloat because he was already hooked  this woman was perfect although she was a decade younger but fuck she was making him feel like a teenager.

The date was good he laughed a lot she was funny , she seemed interested in knowing him and   kept the conversation light nothing was felt pushed or awkward . it was perfect date  he hated he would have to tell phoenix  as much he didn’t want that night to end ,  they even made out in the back of his truck  so why was it two days after the date and everything was radio silent . only thing that he was told was she got home safe and would contact him again .  he never had that much fun on a date especially one that didn’t end in sex , he wanted to be respectful , he also didn’t wanna text and come off desperate so he was wondering what hell went wrong .  maybe he could ask nat and swallow his pride at the fact she was good but clearly not good if he was ghosted . 

She wondered what went wrong did she come on too  strong , did he not like her .  the date was perfect and yet she never  got text back after she told him she got home safe .  it was all good even making out in the back of his truck til he stopped it now she was slightly annoyed he ghosted her .  burying herself in the overflowing work she could of been doing instead  when the familiar sound of an engine . to see natasha trace coming her way all smile probably ready to hear about how it all went . 

“ i’m mad at you “ y/n huffed tying her hair up before diving back into the hood of the corvette that needed dire attention.  

“ what did he do ?” she groaned now holding the coffee she brought like a peace offering instead of an early celebration . 

“ ghosted me  , i thought we had a great time  , even made out in his stupid truck and boom nothing even when i offered him to follow me “ she grumbled looking up . 

“ wait what javy said jake had great time i was here to rub it in both of you “ . 

“ well i’ll do that rubbing in your matchmaking skill ain’t all that .. but i love you and you didn’t know this was gonna happen so i guess i ain’t actually mad at you… my vagina might be “ she laughed finally taking the coffee. 

“ i’m gonna find out what going on cause something is  not adding up “ nat brows furrowed as she head off ignoring the protest that came from y/n mouth . 

She couldn’t make sense of it , according to javy he was smitten  like really smitten so what the hell was going on .  she knew y/n was younger than jake by ten years was that it but then she was thinking jake would date younger than himself maybe not that gap but again it didn’t seem to bother him . it wasn’t even to do with the match making anymore ..ok maybe it was could that be it , he was ghosting y/n in his own need to be right.  Now she was pissed  as she drove a little faster ,  parking her car and storming down the halls. She didn’t even look at the guys when she got to jake staring up , eyes narrowed  and hands on hips . 

“ what is your problem how come your ghosting y/n ,  she said she had a great time with you and what  is it your need to be right because that fucked if you don’t like her least be a man and tell her “ she gritted . 

“ what are you talking about  , she ghosted me nat  she should grow up and tell you the truth “ he scoffed . 

“ she looked upset although she wouldn’t show it …  she thinks you don’t like her she offered  her place ?” nat said even more confused .

“ believe it or not i was being a gentlemen because i actually did like the her.. The date “ he corrected pulling his phone out to show the fact he ended up texting her couple times . 

“ oh you stupid man , it concerning your still flying that not her the name is similar but you’ve been texting another woman no wonder she didn’t answer … idiots “ she scoffed as jake looked at his phone he didn’t even realize that name was still in his phone  he just saw the first three letters and was currently cursing the device in his hand .  it all connecting in his mind only for rooster to say it all out loud. 

“ shit you actually ghosted her after all” .

“ where she work  cause she not gonna believe me if i text her now ?” he asked chasing after nat  who honestly was done with life at the moment. 

“ if i  tell you , you gotta wear a shirt that says i was right for three nights of my choosing in hard deck ?” nat mused even though she was gonna help him either way but didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun too . 

“ you know what i’ll let you have six , come on “ he pleaded  ready to dart out knowing he’s morning was free . 

“  don't make me regret this “ nat smirked texting the address . “ make sure you check the right message “ she called as he ran off flipping her off . 

 he didnt know what it was but he was hooked on this girl like some sort of spell was cast on him  . he usually didn't bother texting after the fuck boy tendency  was strong he knew it himself but shit he was so disappointed and turned out to be his fault his fuckboy ways or some sort of self sabotage  .  already losing something so good before it even started he wanted to delete all the contacts in his phone maybe change his number start a new leaf. He was just hoping he wasn’t too late as he got into his truck nat sent another message telling him  the  coffee and baked good  peace offering to bring  as well as his size  maybe he would wear the shirt  an extra night for that. It was a race for what he didn’t know but he wanted to find out.   

She was tired but finally she gotten on top of the overflow of repairs  ones even her brothers were impressed she managed to pull of maybe the frustration of being ghosted was working in her favor , she was ready to grab her coat and head out . 

“ hey kiddo truck coming in can you sort this while i sort something in the office” her brother mikey called . 

“ you gotta be shitting me i’m heading out deal with it yourself” she scoffed. 

“ do it and i’ll give you rest of week off and next week  paid and overtime?” he said holding phone to his ear . 

“ fine after this i’m out for a week and half   “ she rolled her eyes throwing her things down tying her hair up . 

“ yeah she going  i think a date would be a good payment huh trace” he chuckled heading into the office. 

She was huffing and puffing but hey time of and extra money she could be happy with , what she wasn’t happy with was a tall blonde aviator standing by the truck . 

“ we’re closed” 

“ says your open “ he nodded to the neon sign. 

“ busy should of called a head.. Or do you have a phone?” she scoffed hand on her hip  , burning hole in his head with the fiery gaze she had on him . 

“ can we talk please ? i got your favorites here” he held up the container. 

“ you could of talked to me before , my brother is in there i will not hesitate to get the bat from his car “ 

“  hear him out … heres your stuff and thanks for screwing up so i can get a date with nat “ mikey called placing her stuff at the door before heading in and locking the door . 

“ traitor “ she mumbled taking her bag and  only see her car keys missing . “ son of a bitch “ she grumbled .  But it wasn’t going to get her down  no come hell or nothing she would walk her ass home . so she did turning out away completely not even sparing the blonde a second look or care if he was following her or not. 

“ come on please let me explain “ jake called. 

“ explain nothing if nat sent you here tell her it’s all good “ she waved over her shoulder not only was  she pissed she was no embarrassed thinking he owned her explanation .  which he did but one of his own violation and not one her friend force him to make .   she heard his booths hitting the asphalt , she could hear the panting  behind her shaking her head she kept walking . 

“ come on please” 

“ you ghost me , i practical ask you to sleep with me i thought you were doing the whole gentlemen thing  but turned out you just didn’t like me which is fine i mean not everyone gonna like me but shit when are guys gonna be honest and be like look i ain’t feeling it   or some shit “ she snapped not caring about the group of guys walking by .  

“ dude you blind “ one commented as she just groaned walking past them all . 

“ hey hey  i did want to ok and i was trying to be a gentlemen , i wanted to take you in backseat of the pickup if i could “ he yelled only instead of the group of guys passing it was a group of elderly women . 

“ pig “ one scoffed as they hurried passed. 

“ i thought you ghosted me ok …i maybe even worse asshole to admit that i was texting the wrong number because the names were similar which i’m going to have to text that person the same thing cause i’m pretty sure she married now” he winced as she finally stopped walking . 

“ you want me believe and if i did it worse that it was a mistake dude it ok we didn’t click i mean i thought we did … oh shit “ she said as he held his phone up showing her the messages her name but the contact was similar . “ is it safe for you to be flying “ she asked .

 “ yes i  made a dumb mistake but my eyesight is fine “ he snorted shaking his head nat previous statement . 

“ so you didn’t ghost me ?” she blinked up slightly  still trying to piece the new information slightly relieved since lets be real being ghosted is never fun . 

“ i didn’t ghost you be a fool to  ,  if  your in a forgiving mood since i cleared it up would you maybe wanna go on another date ?” he stood not the usually confident or cocky way he was used to he was almost shy when asking a definite new feeling that he would ( would not ) out loud . 

“ i guess since you got me a week and half off work i could least do that “ biting her lip , wanting to kick herself at the urge to twirl her hair in her finger like some smitten school girl . 

“Well then lets get going “ he winked wrapping his arm around her only for the same group of guys from before walking by looking barely 16 . 

“ dude kiss her “ one  not so hushed whisper yell  . 

“  man i was gonna ask her out” another whined. 

“ y’all watching this whole time ?” she snorted while jake was looking like the cat that got the cream having her at his side . 

“ tiktok was done … if things don’t work out with old man  heres my number” the guy winked as jake took the piece of paper instead . 

“She wont need it son “ was all jake could say leading her back towards the shop , back where his truck was least if her brother was doing him the solid he could have a small drive thru  date . he was new to it all actually wanting to see the one person actively and exclusive ( not that he told her , he wasn’t bradshaw ) but he was willing to show it in future .  He also learned never to doubt nat and her matching making skills again well how could he went he was going to be wearing the visual proof .

[glitter-stained]

Jason Todd Meta: My opinion on the csa headcanon

Does Jason's behaviour suggest he was a victim of csa?

There is very little, in terms of clinical signs, that’s going to point to csa specifically, because most symptoms, for psychiatric disorders, aren’t specific to one disorder or cause. One thing that’s usually a good hint would be children making very sexual statements/references/jokes/behaviours that are very inappropriate in context (a good example of this would be Roman Roy from Succession); night terrors are bed wettings amongst children/teenagers over a certain age. But that is absolutely not necessary: many, if not most victims of csa don’t display these specific signs, and a twelve years old that suffers from night terrors is not necessarily a victim of csa. The one thing that tells you for sure, in a person with trauma, that they have been a victim of csa, is that they’re telling you they have been a victim of csa. I’m insisting on that part because there’s a whole bunch of therapists (cough cough psychanalysts) that will tell you confidently that your psychiatric symptoms stem from a childhood sexual trauma (cherry on top of the shit cake if it’s incestuous) that you didn’t know about because you’ve repressed it. I repeat, that’s bullshit. If you meet a clinician who tells you that, RUN. So, a warning: this is probably the least “psychological analysis” of my “Jason psychological analysis posts”, because Jason’s symptoms do not allow us to conclude formally for or against a history of sexual abuse. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do some meta, make sure we're on the same page with what's analyzed here, some textual analysis, discuss what the csa headcanon does and does not imply in terms of his behaviour. I think it’s a good idea to start with it so we know where we’re standing with our analysis, regardless of the fact it’s maybe not the most interesting in terms of psychopathology and neuropsychology.

A couple of disclaimers:

I only talk about the comics I want to talk about. This is for two reasons, which are that 1) I do what I want and if I don’t like/don’t find something interesting, I’m not gonna waste time on it; and 2) I’ve been reading comics for a couple of months only, and there are, like, a lot of them. If there are comics you wanna see analysed under that lense, feel free to suggest them! I might not want to, but it also could be that I haven’t read them yet. Additionally, I'm not interested in questioning the morality of Jason's actions here. Ethics are fun, and I like talking about them sometimes, and morality sometimes has a place in talks about demonization but largely speaking this isn't the space for that. I separate talk about morality and psychology stuff as much as I can for a reason, so if you are looking here for excuses for his behaviour or arguments as to why he is a bad person, you're in the wrong place. Moral judgement is irrelevant here for the most part.

On the events of Red Hood: Lost Days:

Jason has, at some point in the comics, been a victim of csa. When Talia kisses Jason before pushing him off a cliff right after he got out of the Lazarus Pit, and when she initiates sex with him in Lost Days, that’s not consent!! That’s a grown woman taking advantage of a traumatized teenager who is, on top of that, deeply indebted to her. That’s a predatory act, with a steep power imbalance, it’s sexual assault, and on top of that there’s an element of suggested pseudo-incest. That decision was retconned, and thank god, because it was a brutal assassination of Talia’s character based on a good bit of racism, and also because the way it was portrayed doesn’t make it clear that Jason is a victim in a situation rather than that super annoying trope of “teenage guy gets to bang a hot MILF and hahaha lucky him”, writing a male character in a situation of SA without acknowledging it as SA or taking it seriously is one of the tropes I hate most, it reinforces stigmatisation and isolates victims. For all of these reasons, I’m not gonna include that element in my analysis, but it’s important to note that if you do include those scenes in your conception of it, then Jason is undeniably a victim of csa and everything discussed about it applies to him.

What if it were a lie?

I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again), I deeply, violently hate headcanons/tropes where a character lies about being a victim of csa (whether it’s for manipulation, personal gain, any reason really I don’t care). It’s rare as fuck in real life, however it’s a common trope that feeds into fear of being wrongfully accused that causes push-back and increases social stigmatization. CSA is a painful thing associated with intense feelings of shame and already a deep fear of not being believed. Imagine making a considerable effort to seek help after something terrible happened/is happening to you, and you have to brave your fear of not being believed on top of that, and once you’ve made all that effort you get rejected and villainized because it’s just easier for the person you’re reaching out to not to believe it. So I’m awfully weary of this type of headcanon, and I think a general rule of thumb is “if your interpretation of what the character is saying is that he’s talking about how he was abused, especially if he’s talking about sexual assault, then it happened.” If you don’t like that, if you don’t feel like that’s good representation, then you can question the story, think it should be retconned, or rethink your interpretation of what the character says if it’s ambiguous, but hcing that the character lied about his assault is not a hypothesis we’re going to accept here no matter what. So we can start by scratching that one out: Jason never lies about being a victim of csa, or wilfully hints at it even though that’s untrue, at any point.

Two other ideas I’ve seen floating around that I think are worth mentioning:

No, just because Jason lived in the streets as a kid doesn’t mean the only way he survived was through underage prostitution. I genuinely don’t understand that idea, yes being a street kid makes you extremely vulnerable, yes it makes the risk of resolving to underage prostitution to survive higher but it’s absolutely not a fatality. That idea is, quite frankly, weird. Do you automatically assume if a real life person tells you they were in the streets for some time at a kid that they are a victim of csa? Also, I've seen the idea go around that because some people have a strong reading/hc of Jason as bi (which I have no problem with I love bi Jason), that would be an argument in favour of the csa hc. Please don’t do that. There’s no link between queer sexual orientations and childhood sexual abuse, that’s a harmful myth that we should work to deconstruct or, at the very least, not continue to vehiculate.

Another important thing to keep in mind: childhood sexual abuse =/= childhood sexual trauma.

Now, a traumagenic situation is a situation that might induce trauma (so development of, acute stress disorder, ptsd, cptsd, derealization, any traumatic pathology really). These situations exist on a continuum of probability to be traumatized by this situation. For example, a flood, a car accident, witnessing a murder and being sexually assaulted are all traumagenic situations, but the probability of developing trauma from them are very different. It hinges on personal, situational, social, and environmental risk factors (that have nothing to do with being weak, anybody can develop trauma). A definition for traumagenic situations can be found in the diagnostic criteria for ptsd in the dsm-5:

A. “Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s).

2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others.

3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental.

4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless this exposure is work related.”

Note that the this last criteria has been added from the DSM-5 in order to explain cases of PTSD observed in at-risk jobs like cops exposed to repeated detailed child abuse, first responders collecting human remains, or, crucially, vigilantes repeatedly exposed to brutal crimes. This means that Jason, when he works on the Dumpster Slasher case, when he is horrified to find Gloria in the immediate aftermath of her rape (and later finds her dead body, because witnessing the consequences of these traumatic events is also an important component of that second-hand trauma), is being exposed to a very traumagenic situation. As I said before, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will experience trauma (thank fuck for that), but there are factors that influence that. SA related situations has an already pretty high probability of inducing trauma. On top of that, age is a big factor in that: the younger you are, the less resources, emotional regulation, development and coping mechanisms to face the traumagenic event you have (though there is such a thing as “too young to have PTSD" -when your memory is simply not developed enough for the memory to traumatize you because you will not remember the event.) At fifteen, with his memory fully developed but his brain going through so much changes because of teenagehood and his past history, Jason would be at risk. On top of that, you’re more at risk to get traumatized if you’re already stressed out when the event happens, so Jason’s mental state at this point in his robin run is also a risk factor. All to say, it’s very plausible for Jason to have sexual trauma without being a victim of sexual abuse in relation to canon events. Besides, in headcanon territory when it comes to Jason’s childhood before Robin, there are so many ways to be exposed to sexual violence : witnessing/finding his mother being a victim (considering the position of extreme vulnerability Catherine was in), witnessing assault in the streets, being the victim of attempted SA and escaping, watching street kids get picked up and later find their bodies/being told by other kids, as a cautionary tale, in excruciating detail, testimonies of their own assault… Or for example, if we’re thinking about Arkham Knight, being constantly threatened with SA, it being hinted and joked about and hanging over him like a sword of Damocles is something I could see Joker and other inmates do that could definitely induce sexual trauma even if it doesn’t happen ; what matters most, in trauma, is that the fear is real. Mechanically, when we’re looking at the way trauma works even on a biological level, the overwhelming fear is at the core of the pathology. (This is also why you can develop PTSD after a psychotic episode.) Like, my point isn’t that one of these things happened to Jason, or that he has to have sexual trauma from the events of the Diplomat’s Son or anything -mostly just that this is a possibility, something very serious that happens and an important nuance that I never see in discussions on the csa headcanon, and while it’s not exactly what the debate is about, I think it’s something important to ponder.

Do you consider the csa hc to be canon?

So, there are a lot of Jason stories, and I’m very pro “not take in account what is said in comics you dislike in your conception of canon” because if I did that absolutely no bat character would be readable, I have to believe that no character is defined by their worst writers. And boy, does Jason have a lot of bad writing… On top of the personal retcons, there are also the canon retcons: like Battle for The Cowl is retconned… Unless someone decides to reinject/revamp it into the narrative (please don’t please don’t it’s irrecuperable let it lay with the Flying Todds where it belongs). So, let’s see. There are three writers/arcs that imply/mention the csa hc: Starlin’s writing of Jason’s post-crisis Robin Run (canon though some stuff in it seems to have been retconned), Winick’s writing in Green Arrow: Seeing Red (canon as far as I know), and Battle for the Cowl (retconned). It’s worth noting that one of those are considered to be foundational works for Jason’s character (Jason’s post crisis Robin Run and Starlin’s part in it), and another was written by Winick, who wrote the other two foundational Jason stories: Under The Red Hood and Red Hood: Lost Days. On a personal level, I’m very mitigated about what I like and accept about it. I base my whole love and characterization of Jason about his post-crisis Robin Run, I love that little guy so much, Starlin’s take on Jason’s Robin Run is absolutely canon to me (which does not mean I like Starlin as a writer, thank you very much). On the other hand of the spectrum, the only reason Battle for the Cowl isn’t my least favourite comic ever is because The Killing Joke exists, absolutely not canon, get this thing away from me. And then in the middle, my feelings on Seeing Red (on the entirety of Winick’s Jason really) vary depending on the day, because I do like a revenge story that challenges the status quo with tropes of “bad victim” and it sets up Jason as a character based on love rather than morals which I adore, but there are also some elements of psychophobia in the writing that I (who approach stories through the filter of psychopathology first and foremost) can’t just look past, and also the way it intertwines with classist stereotypes. So do I consider Seeing Red to be canon? In good faith, yes, but whether I’ll accept it as such really depends on the day. In terms of the csa headcanon: it’s heavily hinted in BTFC but not outright said, it’s there as a undercurrent in Starlin’s run because of his intention (to make Jason die of AIDS). And then we have Seeing Red. Basically Jason lists elements about Mia’s life, including her past with underage prostitution (so, just to be very clear, csa), and says they’re very similar, having both lived on the streets, and understand having to do bad things when it’s necessary. This is not the same as saying “I was a victim of csa”, and what he’s saying could be interpreted differently (we know that he was stealing tires, and “only what he needs to survive”, so he could have been referencing small-time theft.) So, it could be a reference to something else, I totally understand why some people want to interpret differently. It just… Feels like such a weird and weak argument to be equating boosting tires to underage prostitution, to me it’s very ooc (in comparison to UTH Jason), and it would feel like weak writing from someone like Winick. Aka it’s not technically canon, and you don’t have to accept it as such(I understand the mentality of "I'm rejecting this interpretation because it feels like demonization of csa victims" perfectly), but personally I think it takes a lot from Jason’s character in Seeing Red and from this story in general.

[soapieanxiety]

Historical Iceland Ramble: Part 1 - Early Childhood

We’re actually pretty lucky to get a good look at Icelands very early childhood. Not only do we see him immediately after he was “born” but we also see more of his childhood from before Norway showed up in his life.

Interesting things I immediately notice:

- While Norway physically wasn’t there in his life his connection to Iceland is still important even before the two met

- Iceland doesn’t know that he’s a representation but he does know that he’s not human

- Iceland's loneliness is something he’s dealt with literally since he was born. He’s literally Dr. Doofenshmirtz levels of loneliness. I am not joking he’s extremely lonely.

- His hot and cold side is immediately established in these manga panels. Iceland is someone with a lot of internal fire however externally he appears to be the opposite. Sometimes people only portray one side of his personality and ignore the other, but if you truly want to understand Iceland you have to understand that there are two sides to him. They may seem contradictory but in reality both sides merge together and create Iceland. It cannot be ignored

These panels right here tell us directly that there is more to Iceland than what meets the eye. We’ve been told this in character notes, but in the actual content of Hetalia, we are shown it here. We’re shown it constantly, but this is the most in-your-face example I’ve seen. Iceland is directly getting upset at people judging him just based off first impressions. This shows us that not portraying him with these two sides is doing his character a disservice.

In some stories, I see that people make it that Norway found Iceland pretty quickly after his “birth." However I believe that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m gonna get more into timeline in the next paragraph, but the panel with Iceland contemplating if he has a brother takes place at a minimum 130 years after his “birth." Want proof? These are the next two panels that happen immediately after

It’s believed that civilization on Iceland started at around 870 AD, and it looks like that’s the date Hima went with. It’s the date I’m going to go with as well. Christianity came to Iceland at around the year 999 or 1000 AD, meaning Iceland met the God (/j but y’know what I mean) before he met his brother, the other Nordics, or Mr. Puffin. Now I can see someone arguing that maybe he’s met Mr. Puffin already; however, I believe that if he had, Mr. Puffin would be somewhere in these panels. He’s always with Iceland, and if he’s not, it’s a logical assumption to make that he just hasn’t met the bird yet.

Iceland makes a new friend! Despite the mental breakdown, I do believe meeting Mr. Puffin was an all-around positive in Iceland's life. We see them together constantly after-this, and Iceland finally gets his much needed social interaction. Even if it’s from a bird. He’s still suffering from extreme loneliness, which will affect him for the rest of his life. But it’s a good thing he has Mr. Puffin now, who does teach him a bit about the outside world.

I’d also like to note that Iceland, who knows he has a brother, believes that he’s the only island to exist and that the rest of the world is just ocean. That’s how much he’s suffering from loneliness. I can’t really pinpoint a year these panels take place but I’m fairly confident they take place after 1000, which, as stated earlier, is over 100 years after Iceland was “born.”

These are the last manga panels I’d like to go over and the ones I find the most interesting, in my opinion.

We see more of Iceland and Mr. Puffins time together in Iceland's early childhood. Mr. Puffin tells Iceland about the outside world, which Iceland doesn’t believe. I think this is probably just the loneliness getting to him. What I find really interesting in this panel is that it confirms that Norway knows Iceland exists. Now I love Norway, I’m a firm believer that he’s doing his best as a brother. But this is probably his biggest brother fumble, in my opinion. As an older sibling myself, I can understand being busy with your own life. Norway is obviously busy in this panel, but at this point, Iceland has existed for over 100 years now, and he still hasn’t gone to see him. Being busy for that long just isn’t an excuse. Now I guess I can see a point that maybe this was the first time he realized he had a little brother. However, I believe that this isn’t the first time. Iceland’s “birth” scene has a blacked-out silhouette of Norway and his voice. Now we don’t know what Norway said, but this is implying to me that Norway knows Iceland exists.

Bottom line: Iceland's loneliness in his early childhood was avoidable. Norway could’ve shown up way earlier, but he didn’t. I’m not going to bash him that much for it, but this heavily affects Iceland. I can understand that Norway was most likely a teenager at this time who was focused on being a Viking and fighting other people. However, the negative impacts of this weigh heavy, and Norway’s nosy and overbearing behavior is probably him trying to compensate for not being there for Iceland during this time in his life.

Anyways, thank you for reading Part 1 of this historical Iceland analysis. Part 2 will cover a broader history. I feel like the reason this part was so long is simply because we have so much content of Iceland’s early life. If Part 3 is needed (honestly it might), I’ll let y’all know before Part 2 is published. Expect Part 2 to be published sometime around Thanksgiving, whether that’s before or after. Again, thank you for reading this. My notes app literally started glitching because of how long this was.

[kybercrystals94]

Gift Wrap by @lonewolflupe

This gift is for @totallywizard07 — you requested the Batch camping with a healthy serving of fluff ☺️ Thank you for being a wonderful part of this fandom community! You are fantastic!

The Last Island Wolf

Read here on Ao3!

Rated: G | Words: 745

@galactic-gift-gathering

“...and they say,” Omega concludes, leaning into the glow of the flickering firelight, “that the spirit of the last island wolf returns every full moon to search for the one who claimed him, the man with dark eyes.” 

Silence disturbed only by the crackling laughter of the campfire follows for several long moments before Crosshair retorts, “That is the most ridiculous story I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s a Pabu classic,” Omega argues with a smile. “I hear it everytime I go camping with the Hazards.” 

“But it’s not true,” Wrecker says, and after a beat, “Right?”  

Omega shrugs. “Maybe. I mean, there have been sightings over the years. Unexplained shadows and noises. Lyana even said that one night, Shep woke up because he felt hot breath on his face. But when he opened his eyes, nothing was there.” 

Crosshair huffs and rolls his eyes. “That’s a load of kark.” 

Hunter stands up and stretches his arms over his head, looking out into the darkness beyond the perimeter of their camp. “Good story, Megs. I don’t believe a word of it, but it got the job done. Wrecker’s scared.” 

“I am not!” Wrecker protests. 

Omega laughs. “Don’t feel bad, Wrecker. It scared me too until I realized that the island wolf doesn’t come for dark eyed girls. You boys on the other hand…” 

“But wait, I only have one dark eye,” Wrecker says, “So I’m safe too, right?”  

Omega considers, looking up at the star scattered sky. “Mmmm…that’s true. I guess only Hunter and Crosshair need to worry about it, then.” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m shaking in my boots,” Crosshair drawls and Hunter chuckles. 

As the Batch settles in for the night, Crosshair realizes that this is the first time he’s been out camping without someone keeping a watch shift. During the war, someone always had eyes on the camp. And after the war with the Empire, it was protocol, although he’d never been able to fully sleep with anyone but his brothers keeping watch. Now, they are on Pabu. There are no threats, no reason for someone to stay awake alone for hours. He’d gotten used to it in their house, with four walls and locks. Camping on the other hand…

“You alright, Cross?” Hunter asks, and it sounds sincere until he adds, “Scared the island wolf might get you while you sleep?”

Wrecker laughs and Omega giggles. 

“Absolutely petrified,” Crosshair snarks, turning over in his bedroll to face the woods, but he smiles when the comment gets another burst of sniggering from his siblings at his back. He is happy they feel safe here, that his brothers seem secure in the fact that they can all just go to sleep.

He wishes that such security extended to himself as well. 

Crosshair listens to their breathing even out, listens to the fire crackle and snap hungrily, listens to the wind in the treetops. He watches shadows stretch in the moonlight and dance in the firelight. It is peaceful. It is safe. He even has his firepuncher nearby, just in case this is all an illusion. But it’s not, this is their new reality. Safe. Content. Home. His eyes feel heavy, and he wants to sleep. But he can’t seem to allow it.

“Cross?” Hunter’s voice is soft, groggy. “You still awake?” 

He almost doesn’t answer, pretends; however, Hunter is impossible to fool. Kriffing enhancement. 

“Yeah,” he says, rolling to his back. 

“Why?” 

“Dunno.” 

Hunter hums. “I think you do.” 

“I’m not tired,” Crosshair lies. 

Hunter sits up, props his forearms on his knees. Crosshair watches the movement out his peripheral, keeps his gaze skyward. Hunter mutters, “It feels strange not having someone on watch, doesn’t it?”

Crosshair hides his surprise behind a retort, throwing Hunter’s own joke back at him. “Why? Scared the island wolf might get you while you sleep?”

Hunter’s voice curves around a grin. “Maybe.” 

“Hmm.” Crosshair swallows. “Me too.” 

Or a Separatist, or a clanker, or the Empire…

“I’ll take the first watch,” Hunter says, decidedly. “I’ll wake you when it’s your turn, and you can start early meal.” 

“There’s no need for a watch anymore,” Crosshair reminds him.

Hunter shrugs. “Well, someone’s gotta look out for that island wolf…”

Crosshair smiles. “Right.” 

Silence falls between them, not empty, but an unspoken acknowledgement. Hunter has always had the uncanny ability to know exactly what his brothers need, whether they admit it or not. 

Kriffing older brothers. 

But thank the Maker for them.

END

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[fafnir19]

The Fairy Tale

The snow-capped mountains loomed ahead, their peaks piercing the azure sky, as Finn and his father, Hergen, made their way through the quaint mountain town. Finn, a young man of twenty, with a slender build and bright, curious eyes, clutched his gloved hands together, his breath forming small clouds in the chilly air. He was not one for outdoor excursions, preferring the cozy confines of his home with a good book. But today was different; his father had convinced him to embark on a journey to the glacier caves, a place of nature wonders. As they wandered through the bustling Christmas market, the aroma of spiced glögg and roasted chestnuts filled the air, mingling with the sound of cheerful carols.

Finn's eyes sparkled as he took in the festive atmosphere, feeling a sense of warmth and joy despite the cold. He and his father shared a hot cup of glögg, their breath mingling with the steam rising from the mulled wine. It was a moment of connection, a rare occasion when Finn felt truly at ease with his father, who was often away on his scientific expeditions. "Dad, I'm glad we came here. It's like a winter wonderland," Finn said, his voice filled with genuine happiness. Hergen smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I thought you'd enjoy it, my boy. But wait until you see the glacier caves tomorrow. They are a marvel of nature, unlike anything you've ever witnessed."

While Hergen was chatting with some other adventurous guys about the best hike to the caves, Finn glanced at the old woman selling the glögg, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she poured him a generous cup. “Tomorrow, my father and I are exploring the glacier caves!” Finn said, a hint of excitement breaking through his usual anxiety. Her expression shifted, lips pressing together in a tight line. “You should think twice, boy. The fairies live there. They can be dangerous if disturbed.” Finn chuckled, shaking his head. “Fairies? You must be joking. That’s just nonsense, right?” “No joke at all,” she replied, her voice low and serious. “They are not to be trifled with.” “Right,” Finn said, rolling his eyes as he turned to Hergen. “Next, she’ll tell me about unicorns and elves.” Hergen laughed, clearly entertained. “Maybe they’ll offer us some magical glögg!” The old woman shot them a stern look before turning away, leaving Finn to sip his drink.

The next morning, as the sun bathed the snow-covered landscape in a golden glow, Finn and Hergen set out for the glacier caves. The journey was arduous, the cold biting at their exposed skin, but Finn's excitement grew with every step. The caves loomed ahead, a majestic sight with their shimmering ice formations and deep, mysterious crevices. "This is it, Finn. The glacier caves," Hergen said, his voice filled with awe. "Let's explore, but remember to stay together and be mindful of our surroundings." Finn nodded, his eyes wide as he took in the breathtaking beauty around him. He ventured deeper into the caves, his breath catching at the sight of glittering ice columns and intricate frozen sculptures.

As he wandered, a peculiar sight caught his attention. Tiny glowing orbs fluttered in the frosty air, resembling fireflies, but their presence in this frigid environment was baffling. Intrigued, Finn approached, his curiosity overcoming his initial hesitation. As he drew closer, he realized these were no ordinary insects. Their delicate wings shimmered with an otherworldly light, and their size was larger than any firefly he had ever seen. With a gentle motion, he reached out, capturing one of the creatures in his palm. It struggled, its wings creating a soft whirring sound, like a tiny bellows. "How dare you invade the realm of the fairies!" The creature's voice, high-pitched and indignant, startled Finn. He stared at the fairy, its tiny features contorted in anger. "Let me go at once! I will not tolerate this intrusion!" Finn's eyes widened in surprise, his mind racing. He had heard tales of fairies, but never imagined he would encounter one. "I-I apologize," he stammered, his voice betraying his shock. "I meant no harm. I was merely curious." The fairy's expression turned from anger to suspicion. "Curiosity, you say? Well, you've trespassed, and punishment is due. I'll call for help, and you'll face the consequences!"

A voice, like a whispered secret, slithered into Finn's mind. *Eat it, Finn!* a voice whispered in his mind, insistent and seductive. *Swallow it, and your troubles will be over.* The command was so sudden and compelling that Finn found himself obeying without hesitation. He opened his mouth and, with a quick motion, popped the fairy into his mouth. It tasted like sparkling sugar, and as he swallowed, a rush of warmth spread through his body. As the fairy slid down his throat, a transformation began. Finn's

body trembled, and he felt a strange sensation, as if his very essence was being reshaped. His hair, once straight and blond, began to curl and lengthen, framing his face in a stylish fade cut. His ears, once rounded and human, elongated and became pointed, a clear sign of his newfound fairy heritage. But the transformation didn't stop there. His red expedition suit, a practical choice for the cold, morphed into something altogether different. The fabric shifted and changed, transforming into light blue leather pants that hugged his legs like a second skin, leaving his upper body bare. He stood there, stunned, as the reality of his new appearance sank in.

"Dad!" he cried out, startled by his own voice, which had taken on a deeper, more resonant tone. Hergen, who had been collecting samples nearby, rushed over, his eyes widening at the sight of his son. "Finn! What's happening?" But before he could reach his son, a dark figure emerged from the shadows, its towering stature and matted black fur sending a shiver down Finn's spine. The creature's eyes glowed with an unearthly crimson light, and its wolf-like snout revealed sharp fangs. "Who—who are you?" Finn stammered, his voice barely audible. The creature stepped closer, its massive paws leaving frosty imprints on the ground. "I am Malgoth, the true ruler of these caves. And you are now under my command."

Hergen, who had been observing the exchange with growing concern, rushed to Finn's side. "Stay away from my son!" he shouted, his voice filled with protective fury. Malgoth's laughter boomed, causing icicles to tremble and fall. "Your son is no longer under your protection, human. He belongs to the fairy realm now."

Finn wanted to flee, to escape this terrifying presence, but before he could move, the creature was upon him, its massive paw pinning him down. A low, sinister chuckle rumbled from its throat, "Welcome to your new reality. You'll find your kind is easily swayed." "What's happening to me?" Finn whispered, his voice now carrying a hint of wonder. Malgoth's eyes gleamed with satisfaction. "You've swallowed the fairy, and now you've become one of them. A fairy prince, with all the powers and pleasures that come with it." He stepped closer, his massive claws clicking against the ice. "And I have plans for you, my prince." Finn struggled, his heart pounding in his chest. He tried to speak, to protest, but the words caught in his throat as the creature's hand moved to his ear, stroking the delicate point with a single claw.

A jolt of pleasure shot through him, so intense it left him breathless. "Ah, I see you've discovered the pleasure of the fairy ears," the creature said, its voice dripping with satisfaction. "So sensitive, so responsive. It's no wonder they are your greatest weakness." Finn's breath coming in short gasps as the creature continued to stroke his ear, sending waves of pleasure coursing through his veins. "No, I..." Finn began, his voice trailing off into a moan as his body betrayed his words. "Your body speaks the truth," Malgoth whispered, his breath hot against Finn's ear. "You like being touched, caressed by a powerful man. It's a feeling you've never known before, but now it's yours to enjoy." Finn's heart pounded, and he felt a warmth spreading through his body, pooling in his groin. His cock hardened, straining against the tight leather pants, and he couldn't deny the pleasure he was experiencing. Hergen, witnessing his son's transformation and the creature's manipulation, felt a surge of helplessness. He knew he couldn't physically overpower Malgoth, not with those massive claws and imposing stature. But he had to do something, anything, to protect his son. "Stay away from him!" Hergen shouted, his voice echoing off the icy walls. "You won't turn my son into some fairy plaything!" Malgoth's laughter filled the cave, causing the ice to tremble. "Oh, but he's already becoming my plaything, and he's enjoying it. Isn't that right, fairy prince?" Finn's mouth was dry, and he could only nod, his eyes locked on Malgoth's. The creature's words were like a spell, binding him, making him want to submit, to explore this new, forbidden pleasure. "Think about it, Finn," Malgoth whispered, his voice a dark temptation.

"Imagine being cared for by a man, strong and powerful, who can give you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams. It's a feeling you crave, deep within your fairy soul." Finn's hand moved to his cock, stroking it through the leather pants, and he moaned softly. The sensation was incredible, and he couldn't deny the truth in Malgoth's words. He had always felt different, shy and anxious, but now, as a fairy prince, he felt a newfound confidence in his sexuality. "That's it, Finn," Malgoth encouraged, his voice a soft purr. "Pleasure yourself. Think of me, of the power I hold over you, and how it excites you."

Finn's hand moved faster, his breath coming in short gasps. He was lost in a haze of pleasure, his mind filled with images of Malgoth, of powerful men, and the forbidden sensations coursing through his body. Malgoth stepped closer, his claws gently caressing Finn's lips. "Imagine your lips around a cock, sucking, pleasing a man. It's what you want, isn't it?" Finn's eyes fluttered open, and he found himself leaning forward, his mouth seeking the creature's fingers. He sucked on them eagerly, his tongue swirling, and he moaned around the digits, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. "Yes, that's it," Malgoth whispered, his voice thick with satisfaction. "You're a natural, fairy prince. Embrace your desires, and they will set you free." Finn's hand moved to the waistband of his leather pants, and he pulled them down, his cock springing free, hard and eager. He stroked himself, his hips bucking with each stroke, and he couldn't hold back the moans of pleasure that escaped his lips.

"I'm so close," he panted, his eyes locked on Malgoth, who lounged casually on a nearby stone, watching the show with a satisfied smirk. "Do you want to see me cum?" Finn teased, his voice breathless. Malgoth's smirk widened, and he nodded, his eyes never leaving Finn's body. "Go on, fairy prince. Show me how much you've embraced your new nature." Finn's hand moved faster, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps. His body trembled, and he threw his head back, his mouth open in a silent scream as he came, his cum painting his stomach and thighs. As he caught his breath, Finn wiped the cum from his body, his hand trembling. He felt a strange urge, a desire to taste himself, to experience the essence of his newfound nature. "Finn, stop!" Hergen shouted, his voice filled with horror as he watched his son's actions. "What has that creature done to you?" But Finn was beyond listening. He teased his father with a playful smile, then brought his hand to his mouth, licking the cum from his fingers. The taste was sweet and salty, and it sent a jolt of pleasure through him, awakening a new, insatiable desire. "Ah, the taste of your own seed," Malgoth purred, his eyes glowing with satisfaction. "It seals your transformation, fairy prince.

From now on, you'll crave the taste of cum, especially that of powerful men. It's your new addiction, and it will bind you to me." Finn's eyes widened as the realization hit him. He had become a creature of pleasure, a dark fairy prince, and the untamable desire to suck cocks, to please men, was now his driving force. Malgoth's laughter filled the cave, a dark, triumphant sound. "Your corruption is complete, and your conversion is final. Welcome, my dark fairy prince. You are now a part of my plan, a key to my conquest of the fairy realm." Hergen, witnessing the transformation of his son and the creature's sinister plans, knew he had to act. But before he could make a move, Malgoth raised a massive paw, and a blizzard erupted, filling the cave with swirling snow. When it cleared, Finn was gone, spirited away by the dark creature. Hergen stood alone in the now silent cave, his mind racing. He knew he had to find his son, to help him, but how could he possibly challenge such a powerful and malevolent force?

Hergen couldn't believe his eyes when he opened the door to find Finn on his doorstep, weeks after their harrowing adventure in the glacier caves. The young man had changed, his once-pointed ears now rounded, more human-like, but he exuded a new, captivating presence.

His father's heart swelled with relief and joy. "Son, you're back! You've escaped that creature... but you're different." Hergen's voice trailed off as he took in Finn's transformation. Finn smiled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound confidence. "I'm free, Father. But the changes... they're not all gone."

Later that evening, Finn and his cousin, Claas, a lively 23-year-old, set off for a frat party. Finn carried a tray of meatballs that were intended as finger food for the party.

As the alcohol flowed and the party's energy peaked, the cousins made their way through the crowd and Claas noticed something peculiar. He caught a glimpse of their reflection in a full-length mirror, but it wasn't their usual selves staring back. Instead, Claas saw the gay fairy prince from the glacier, with his pointed ears and silver armor.

Beside prince Finn standing himself - bare-chested. Confused and startled, Claas grabbed Finn's arm. "What sorcery is this? I see you as that fairy prince, and myself... with no shirt!" Finn's smirk revealed his secret plan.

"Oh, Claas, it's already begun. You see, these meatballs you've been enjoying... they're not just any ordinary meat. They're fairy meat!" As he spoke, a chilling breeze swept through the house. The temperature dropped, and a blizzard erupted within the very heart of the fraternity, encasing everything in a glittering layer of ice and the mirror's surface frosted over. The transformation was not limited to the environment; it affected the fraternity brothers as well. One by one, they underwent a magical change, their bodies becoming slender and graceful, their ears growing pointed, and their tuxedos became sparkling armors. Their eyes widened in wonder and lust as they, too, became gay fairies, their human forms a distant memory.

The new fairies, driven by an instinctual desire, swarmed around Finn, their prince. Claas, overcome with devotion, fell to his knees, his eyes locked on Finn's crotch. "My prince," he murmured, his voice filled with adoration and submission. "I see now that you are the fairy prince, returned to claim your throne. Allow me to serve you." With that, he leaned forward and took Finn's cock into his mouth, his newfound fairy nature driving him to pleasure his newfound prince. The other transformed fraternity brothers joined Claas, their hands and lips caressing Finn's body. Finn's senses were overwhelmed by the touch of so many eager fairies. He felt his cock stiffen further, the pleasure intensifying with each passing moment. The memory of his human life began to fade as the fairies' attentions focused on his pointed ears, sending shivers of delight through his body. "Enough!" Finn cried out, his voice laced with both pleasure and panic. "I... I can't remember... my human life is slipping away." But the fairies did not heed his plea, their hands and mouths working in unison to bring him to the brink of ecstasy. As the last vestiges of his human memories faded, Finn surrendered to the pleasure, his voice now filled with authority and desire. "Yes, my subjects. Serve your horny prince's cock!"

As the party descended into a haze of passion and ecstasy, the fairies, including Finn and Claas, disappeared into the glacier cave, drawn by an unseen force. Malgoth, the dark manipulator, awaited them, his crimson eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Welcome, my new creations," he purred, his voice echoing through the icy chamber. "You are a new fairy race, and your sustenance shall be the essence of powerful men. Their cum will fuel your existence."

The air crackled with anticipation as the new fairy prince, Finn, stood amidst the frozen realm, his presence causing a stir among the fairy subjects, once frat bros. Claas couldn't help but feel a surge of jealousy as he witnessed Finn's transformation and the adoration it elicited from their fellow fairies. Malgoth, the dark manipulator, seized this opportunity to plant a seed of discord in Claas's mind. "You should be the prince," Malgoth whispered, his breath like a chilling breeze against Claas's ear. "You are older, stronger. Imagine Finn beneath you, helpless, as you claim his body and his power."

Claas couldn't shake the vision of himself as the dominant fairy prince, with Finn as his submissive. The thought of entering Finn's body, claiming him, sent shivers down his spine. He pictured himself thrusting into Finn's willing form, their bodies slick with sweat and desire.

As the party continued in the glacier cave, Claas' gaze kept returning to Finn, now surrounded by the former frat boys, all of them gay fairies under his command. The sight of their pleasure-filled faces only intensified Claas' yearning. He wanted to be the one causing Finn's moans, to have that power over the prince. "I could take what's rightfully mine," he whispered, his voice laced with determination. "I could make him submit."

The ancient glaciers, once serene, now echoed with the sinister laughter of Malgoth, the corrupted spirit. His plan was unfolding beautifully, and soon, the fairy realm would be his. He had found the perfect pawn in Finn, the shy human boy who had unwittingly become a fairy prince. "Your destiny awaits, my prince. The human town will fall, and from its ruins, our realm shall flourish!" Finn's eyes gleamed with a mixture of excitement and a newfound lust for power. "The time has come," Malgoth's declared, his voice echoing through the icy chamber. "Feed the fairy meat to the young lads in the town, and watch as they succumb to their desires, becoming warriors of our realm." Finn's heart raced. He knew his mission—to corrupt the town's sons, one by one. With each fairy consumed, a new gay fairy would emerge, until every son of this town is under Finn’s command, so  that the human town would lose its protectors. Malgoth's laughed, "The humans will lose their precious sons to our corruption, and their town will be ours. An eternal winter awaits them, a fitting grave for their defiance."

The icy wind howled outside, as if in prediction of the impending doom. "I understand, master," Finn replied, his voice steady, laced with a dark promise. "I shall fulfill my role and bring forth the era of the gay fairy realm."

As the blizzard subsided, the new fairy army, led by their dark prince, Finn, disappeared into the night, ready to spread their enchantment over the unsuspecting town and fulfill Malgoth's vision of a icy gay fairy empire.

[gracesmusings]

Hi sweetie! Here's my idea for young Sirius x introverted reader: She always had a crush on him but she thinks Sirius doesn't even know who she is until the rest of the Marauders help them to get together

“It’s painfully obvious,” James whines. His head pressed snuggly into Lily’s bossom. Remus rolls his eyes with the turn of a page. “Guys we are supposed to be working.” Peter sighs. He shifts uncomftably on the floor, his spot having been commandeered by the couple now spread out on the couch. Remus being the smart one chose the love seat, which deeply troubled Peter. “Just admit it.” James’ words are muffled. “Y/N fancies Sirius.”

Lily rolls her eyes. Her fingers rake through her boyfriends crazy curls. For the second time today she imagines a little girl or a little boy with his unrully hair.

Remus now thoughly envolved in the conversation, closes his book and removes his legs from the armrest. “If it is so obvious why does Lily need to say anything?”

James groans. Pulling his head up, his eyes catch hers. “You aren’t going to tell me. Are you?”

She shakes her head. “FINE!” James gently pries himself off her body, steps over Peter, and pulls Remus to his feet. “Where are you going?” Lily asks. “Hey!” Remus shouts as his book falls to the floor. Lily narrowly rescued the pages from dire death. “WE ARE GOING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THESE TWO BUFFOONS TOGETHER” James’ voice trails off as they disappear up the stairs.

Peter looks down at his unfinished work and then at Lily. “Guess it is just us now,” he shrugs, moving to the couch. Lily gets up and gathers her things. “I’m really sorry Peter but I need to find Y/N.” “Oh,” Peter looks dejected. “Hey,” Lily places a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you later, okay. Bye, Peter!”

“Bye,” Peter sags into the couch. His quill still on the floor.

Lily wondered around the castle for an hour. On her way back to the dorm she decided to check the library once more. “Hush!” “Shhh.” “You hush!” Rolling her eyes, Lilly taps both boys on the shoulder. Remus and James jump. “Lily!” “Bloody hell,” Remus sighs.

“What are you two doing?” She peers around them. Her eyes search for why the boys are hiding behind a row of books. “Are you serious?”

James’ smile grows and Remus jabs him with his elbow. Lily’s eyes cut abruptly to her boyfriend who swallows the joke. “Look at them.” James points.

Silence engulfs the trio. Y/N and Sirius lean over the table. Textbook sprawled open, old parchment paper from previous classes lay on the floor and on the table, Sirius fiddles with Y/N’s tie, which was discarded moments ago. Y/N restates her question, a finger hovering above an important text.

“They are studying…” Lily whispers. This time James cuts his eyes to Lily. Remus chuckles at the blush that paints her cheeks. Lily ducks her head concealing her face from her boyfriend. The thought of their future child again on her mind, oh the attitude. Thanfully, James eyes are back on the friends studying. “Just watch,” James says.

A few more questions in and the couple leans back in their chairs. Sirius sets her tie in his lap and tugs his own off and tosses it on the table. “I really appreciate the help, Y/N,” he tilts his head to the left and nudges her arm with his. Y/N smiles. “Any time. We can’t have our best quidditch player out for the game, now can we?”

James scoffs, which earns him a hush from Remus and Lily.

“Best quidditch player, eh?” Sirius’ rotates his shoulders and leans forward resting his head on the book they were just reading.

Lily jumps when James squeezes her hip tightly. His lips pressed against her ear. “Look!” Y/N reaches her hand to Sirius’ back and starts scratching it softly.

This has been in my drafts for a hot second. Trying to get back into writing. Please send me requests!

[novankenn]

So Maifa Au. So Mercury is sent after Jaune by his still alive abusive father. So when Mercury is about to attack Jaune and Pyrrha but them Mama Arc steps in to deal with it. Cuts to Mercury crying on the couch with some and hot chocolate and a blanket telling him about his terrible father and how he didn't even want to do this. Mama Arc does on him then cuts to Arc sisters wailing on Marcus.

Date Night Disaster

(A snippet from "a Mafia" & "From Assassin to Sales Clerk" AUs)

Pyrrha was and Blake were hurting. Whomever this guy was, that ambushed them outside the movie theatre, he was good. Hampered by nothing having their weapon s, and also needing to keep Jaune and Blake safe, the pair of "former" assassins, ran, dragging their dates with them.

It was almost a good plan, but the jackass was fast and agile, meaning he was going over stuff Blake and Pyrrha had to take Jaune and Yang around. So for a good twenty minutes of a running fist fight the quartet found themselves in front of Pumpkin Pete's Novelty Store. Blake used her keys and got them all inside. Locking the doors the quartet backed from the plasticized-plate glass windows and doors.

"We just have to hold tight. The alarm should be going off, and someone will be by to check the store out." Blake panted out, as she and Pyrrha kept Jaune and Yang behind them.

"Are you guys okay?" Jaune asked.

"Who the fuck was that psycho?" Yang snapped.

"He's an asshat whose after Jaune." Pyrrha replied, her emerald eyes watching for any movement. Any sign of a threat. "We'll be safe here. It's like Blake said. Security should be around soon."

"Why is anyone after Jaune?" Yang asked, her voice filled with anger.

"It's complicated!" Blake snapped.

"Then uncomplicate it!" Yang snapped back.

The conversation died at that point as the glass of one of the doors exploded towards them, followed by a arrogantly smirking grey haired young man. He said nothing as he just came at them like a whirlwind of strikes. Both Pyrrha and Blake took multiple stiff hits from his feet and shins, before they could recover from shielding their eyes from the flying glass.

It was Pyrrha trapping on of the bastard's legs under her arm when he landed a side kick to her ribs, that gave Blake a chance to go on the attack. Blake was fast, but not a powerhouse, so while she was getting hits through the guys defenses, they weren't doing near enough damage.

"Pyr?" Jaune was at her side trying to help her up as Blake took the fight to their attacker. "Pyr!"

"Yang!" Pyrrha shouted, as she climbed to her feet gritting her teeth against the pain in her side. "You and Jaune get out of here!"

Blake was starting to get pelted by hits, so without waiting for an answer Pyrrha rushed in. The guy was a much better unarmed combatant than either Blake or Pyrrha. As the two young women specialized in bladed weapons. They were by no means slouches... they just didn't have the skills to counter the rapid kicks he was favoring.

Trapping his leg again, Pyrrha tried to grapple him. A knee strike to her chest, followed by a jumping spin kick to her head sent her spinning towards the floor. Blake knew just from how Pyrrha was stumbling that she just had a bell rung.

"Goddess of Death... what a fucking joke." the man quipped with his ever present sneer. "You're both jokes. The great Nikos, and Belladonna. You're nothing without your tools..."

"Hey asshole!" Yang shouted. "Behind you!"

"I'm not stupid enough to..." the sound of twenty pounds of sheet metal, electronics and plastic slamming into flesh, followed by a grunt of pain cut off the asshat's comment.

Blake stood there in shock. Yang had used herself as a distraction so Jaune could... rip the till from the counter with his bare hands and then swing it into the guy's shoulder and head like a flail using the power cord.

"Blake!" Yang yelled trying to get the cat faunus' attention.

"Fuckers!"

"Yang look out!" Jaune shouted, as their attacker recovered and decided game time was over. Blake dashed forward blocking the vicious strike with her back, sending her and Yang sprawling along the floor.

"Jaune!" Pyrrha screamed as she stumbled towards him, as the tall blond covered up and took a kick to his forearms that should have cracked his skull. Jaune went down and down hard. Pyrrha shoulder checked the grey haired asshole aside, and dropped down overtop of Jaune, using her body as a shield.

When a follow up attack didn't happen, Pyrrha looked up with blurry eyes. Her mind found it hard to register what she was seeing. Their attacker was getting his ass kicked by Deery, of all people! Pyrrha's vision swam and a second later she blacked out.

Deery was not happy. The store was a mess, the front door was broken, and her staff had been assaulted, along with her friends. Deery decided she would worry about explanations after. This young pup thinking he was hot shit, needed a lesson in humility. Deery's hands and feet moved with precision. Blocking, countering and redirecting every strike from her opponent, while also punching through his defenses... which he didn't have much talent for.

Snapping a kick of her own out, catching his leg with the flat of her foot, she threw him off balance. That was the beginning of the end. A blazing flurry of punches, open hand strikes, forearms and elbows peppered the s mug little shits' chest shoulders and neck, rocking him to his core, and dropping him unconscious in seconds.

"Deery?" Blake asked weakly pressing her hand to her side. Pain obvious on her face. "What?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"What was that shit?" Yang asked, her split and swollen lip making her words sound slightly distorted.

"Self-defense course. I took it at the community center." Deery replied, "Good course, you should look into it. Great exercise. Check on Nikos and Arc. I'll take care of this..."

As the pair of young women supported each other in the walk towards their friends, Deandra "Deery" Thistle dragged the unconscious young man into the back staff room. Propping him up in a corner, she checked him over. He was breathing, which was a good sign.

Deery sucked on her front teeth as she confirmed something she had felt in her short confrontation. She sighed as she looked at the prosthetic legs hidden under the loose track pants the young man was wearing.

"Well kid you're in for a very tense talk with an angry momma bear real soon." Deery muttered as she rose and left the staff room to check on Blake and her friends.

/==/

Mercury Black awoke feeling like he had been hit by a truck, then backed over and hit by it again. Groaning he opened his eyes and blinked them back into focus. It was then he realized he was sitting on a couch, with a quilt draped over him. He also noticed his prosthetics were missing.

"Good you're finally awake." came a stern voice. Mercury turned his head to focus on the individual who was speaking. "Well I guess some introduction s are in order. I am Prismeya Arc. You are Mercury Black. You tried to kill my son, at the urging of your shit for brains father."

Mercury swallowed. He had failed the job. If he got out of this alive, his father was going to kill him.

"Now normally you wouldn't be sitting in my house, having a chat with me, all things considered. But your situation is special." Prismeya sat back in her plush arm chair and swirled her glass of red wine. "And just so you know. Everyone is a little roughed up, but they will survive. In fact you answered a couple questions for me, so thank you for that."

"Questions?"

"You need not worry about those. That's a family matter." she took a sip of her wine. "I do have a question for you, and I do hope you answer me truthfully. Did your... father..."

"Yes." Mercury answered knowing exactly what was being asked.

"I see. Excuse me a moment." Prismeya set her glass down, and picked up her scroll. "Did you here that Saphron?"

There was a pause as she listened to this Saphron, who had to be on the other end of the call.

"Good. Are all of you ready?" Another pause.

"Perfect." Prismeya gave Mercury a warm smile before speaking again. "Remove him."

The scroll was set down, and Prismeya picked up her wine glass again. She gave Mercury a soft smile before taking another sip.

"Now. Let's have a chat about your future."

[0lliecl0wn]

PUNCH OUT HEADCANONS: Clueless Friends Edition

so i showed my friends the punch out cast and asked them to make up headcanons for them (they have never seen nor heard of punch out outside of me rambling to them about it)

so uh

here it is

GLASS JOE

-Wet the bed as a kid

-Probably still does it

-Denys it

-Goes honk shoo honk shoo when he sleeps

-Had a mullet in middle school

-Has to draw on his eyebrows

-Mouth Breather™

-Wears a cap and nightgown and holds a candle at night

-Can’t swim

VON KAISER

-Bartender

-Screams into his pillow at night

-Screams like a little girl

-Wore light-up Sketchers in middle school

-Got bullied for it

-Goes to the gym to cope

-Fucking YEETS the dumbells

-Flexes on people (also to cope)

-If he is told to sleep on the couch, he will sadly sulk there like a emo person (cue sad hamster music)

DISCO KID

-Babygirl

-Zesty

-Took ballet/gymnastics

-Optimist

-Accidentally broke a trampoline

-Was the popular kid in school

-THE sweetest guy

-Cat person

-Owns 4 cats

-Wears fluffy robes

KING HIPPO

-Plays League of Legends

-Tweaks out HARD at Angry Birds and Super Mario Wii (friend is totally not projecting)

-Really good at board games

-Gamer

-Patrick Star kinnie

-Does NOT cackle. He giggles

-Has Live Laugh Love framed over his toilet

-His snores have caused earthquakes

-Heavy sleeper

PISTON HONDO

-”He did WHAT in his Honda?!”

-Behaves like that one English teacher you had in middle school

-aka the ”Never in my 15 years of teaching have I seen a substitute report this bad” teacher

-ponders

-Dances to animation memes

-Worked at Burger King once

-Constantly pissed

-Goes honk mimimimi when he sleeps

-If he ate a cheeseburger he would explode

-Was the guy who made the post that just says “everytime a new chicken sandwich releases”

BEAR HUGGER

-Smells PUTRID

-Real name is Cleetus

-Lumberjack

-Has a lisp

-Gets food in his beard

-Eats it (EWWWW 🤢)

-His theme song is “Entry of the Gladiators” (aka clown music)

-Wouldn’t survive a day in the military

-Plays Microsoft Flight Simulator

-Goes “weeeeee!” as the plane flies

-Has a poster that says “Eat Slur Game Repeat”

-Redneck

-Has a shirt that says ”These Fists Are Rated E for Everyone”

GREAT TIGER

-HOT

-Has the most beautiful hair but hides it

-Binged My Little Pony

-Binged Twilight

-Plays with Barbie dolls

-Listens to Kpop

-AMAZING at Just Dance

-Also good at DDR

-Plays Pikmin

-Loves the Stone Pikmin

DON FLAMENCO

-Once got addicted to cough drops

-Uses really bad pick up lines

-Does really bad trickshots to impress girls

-Slips like a cartoon character. His shoes go flying every time

-Watched MLP with Great Tiger

-Watches Mean Girls

-Kins Regina George

-Cried when she got hit by a bus

-Zesty

-Scoliosis

-Can pick my friend up with one hand

-Would lean on a wall, say “hey cutie, you free tonight?” and immediately have a coughing fit

-Took an Am I Gay? Quiz. It said yes and refuses to believe it (internalized biphobia)

-Likes big butts and he cannot lie

ARAN RYAN

-Menace

-Actually very lightweight, refuses to admit it

-Bullies kids on ROBLOX

-Keeps getting censored in chat

-Plays Dress to Impress

-Would hit you if so desired

-Uses Joker quotes

-Bakes pink cupcake in spare time

-Would make a balloon animal for a kid and then pop it like Gru

-The guy he tickled in his character intro was Don Flamenco

-Killed someone, steals, graffitis, takes candy from babies

-Should be in jail

-ADHD

-”Ya prob’ly got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya Mac?!” “well you have horseshoes”

SODA POPINSKI

-Dropped on the head as a kid

-Nicknamed ”Pinhead Larry”

-Oiled up

-Naturally loud

-Skipped leg day

-Mr. Krabs walking sound when he tiptoes

-Speedruns Hello Neighbor

-Hands are too big for the keyboard

-Makes dad jokes and laughs at himself because no one else laughs

-Gets bullied by Aran Ryan for his dad jokes

BALD BULL

-Someone threw a bowling ball at his head

-Peak Male Performance

-40% chip (context for this is in comments)

-Watched game shows, was in one once

-Blurts out the answers at the TV, gets pissed every time they get it wrong and screams

-Screams like the ash baby

-Shakes randomly

-Ate lead paint

-Ate a glow stick

-”ladies, ladies, calm down, theres enough of me to go around” (stolen from don flamenco, difference is this actually works)

-ash baby coded???

-Teeters on the line of being ugly and hot

-Gets beauty sleep

-20 step skincare routine

SUPER MACHO MAN

-”he looks like a founding father”

-Shrimp posture

-UGLY??

-Listens to phonk unironically

-Has jiggle physics

-Uses his chest to type on keyboards

-says “eureka!” when he as an idea

-FAKE chain

-wears speedos (canon)

-its his only outfit

-played five nights at freddys and shit himself

-Pimp

-GILF

-Looks 72, is 27

MR. SANDMAN

-Drag Queen

-Chappell Roan listener

-Once tried to wax his nose but got q tips stuck in it

-REALLY into horoscopes and gemstones

-NAPALMED a homeless shelter

-Dances like the dame tu cosita guy

-fucken BUSTS IT DOWN to every song

-Throws gang signs in his boxing gloves??

-Does the Omni-Man squat sometimes

-Ate a lightbulb and that's why his skin glows

-Skips to the song “Mr. Sandman” because he’s babygirl like that

LITTLE MAC

-Floats in the air when he smells pie

-Anime protagonist

-Loves Ben 10

-Had a greasy mohawk

-Ate a bug

-Sticks his head out of the car window

-Gulps and goes “EEEYIKES!!!” when he has to fight a strong opponent

-Listens to Mitski

-Loves the movie Ratatouille

-His favorite character is Remy’s brother

-Makes kandi bracelets

-Asserts dominance by T-posing

DOC LOUIS

-Wears yoga pants

-Has asthma

-Runs up the stairs on all fours

-Maximum silly

-Watches romcoms and cries

-Draws watches on his wrist and looks at it when someone asks him for the time

-Watched Skibidi Toilet AND knows all of the lore

-Doesn’t know what a tampon is

-Listens to the song that goes “once I was seven years old”

-Mama’s boy

-HORRIBLE driver

[redemptioninterlude]

this isn't like the usual NIGHT MARKET FARE that she might have eaten back home. hell, it wasn't even the same 7-11 experience the way it was back home... he wouldn't get it. well, maybe, though she wondered if by the way he's already talked about his dad if he wasn't american born and bred... she'd met enough of those type here, the ones who stunted harder for americana then the kids that surrounded them... as if they might prove themselves to be one and the same. huh. somehow, she had a feeling that jd wasn't exactly looking to be accepted by his peers, so...

maybe she's not TOTALLY out of her depths.

for him, he's just talking on and on, something of a slurpee connoisseur for the uninitiated. her gaze follows him with that hint of doubtfulness, following along. "i meannnn... i've had frozen sprite before. usually with sour lemon added... i'm guessing that's NOT A THING here." well, whatever, how different could it be? she follows after him filling in her cup with what she thought she'd like, pausing to take a sup with her expression half curdling in shock. he wasn't fucking kidding with the sugar coma comments, thinking he'd been joking in saying it, but as she tried to blink away the rush that hits, she's left holding a fully dressed hot dog, trying to keep in mind to trust him on this. as if she ever trusted anybody. well. whatever... once, just once maybe it wasn't going to kill her to give this a shot.

she steadfastly ignores the bemused stares of the cashier. they're someone who was there as a senior last year, she recognizes them - but she's not looking to really get into all that right now. jd's gone off, scouring through the shelves for additional goods and provisions, half fascinated by the pure thrill this seems to give him. it's almost kind of... CUTE... but she wouldn't be caught dead letting anybody know that she thought that at all.

instead of answering, faye just pays for the whole thing - whatever, it's dad's money anyways, and there's a point where this whole meal is cheaper then her usual takeout options that she usually rang up. and it's twice the food! for what she can't tell is good food, or... well. it was to be DEBATED, that was for sure. "okay so what... we start with this hot dog and work our way in? and- before you say anything..." faye sniffs ; feigning her own indifference in a way. "i'm going to consider whatever stomach ache i get from this the wholesome moment to reflect on. but otherwise. i don't need that. i remember everything that's worth remembering. so. be memorable." stating it like a challenge, it's almost half hearted - really, he already was, and worse, she had a feeling he knew that well enough himself.

- @dramatiique

JD laughed. She had a lot of questions about this, huh? Was it really so different to what she was used to. Well, she had that rich girl air about her, so it didn't come as a shocker to know that the very concept of a Slurpee and a hot dog was kinda alien to her. It was fucking funny, though.

"It's like willingly walking yourself into a sugar coma, yeah. And when you drink it quick, it hurts like hell because of the brain freeze." But that's what it made it fun. Yeah, kind of a weird way to have fun, but you had to take what you could get in this rotten world.

He arched a brow when her stomach rumbled, and grabbed a cup. "Okay, enough talking about it. Here, I'll recommend a simple mix for your first go." Cherry and blue raspberry. "You like coke? You can add it if you want a bit more of a tang. Or you might be more of a mango mix type of girl, but with the cherry and raspberry, that could be a risky move." JD spoke about Slurpees at 7-Eleven as if he were playing chess as a grandmaster — he just knew what worked and what to avoid.

"As for the dogs, you have your classic ketchup and mustard, but sometimes the mustard feels a bit much with the Slurpee combo. Sweet relish is a good add-on, though. Something about it just ties all the flavors together. Trust me on this." With the two of them sorting out their hot dog situation, the cashier looked on in amusement at what appeared to be a lesson in all things 7-Eleven.

Once their main food and drink combo was decided, JD turned to scan the shelves. Immediately finding what he wanted, he snatched up a share bag of milk chocolate pretzels. "And to finish it off, dessert." Was it obvious that this had been his way of surviving for most of his life? Before he'd learned how to cook, he'd lived off this stuff as his main food source because he'd rather eat out of a convenience store than suffer through his old man's sad attempts at cooking. Not that the idiot ever cared to learn, preferring to just shove cash at his son to look after himself while he went off to get drunk somewhere. A win-win for both.

"Okay, that should about do it unless you want anything to take home for later as a memento of this weirdly wholesome moment we've shared." And he didn't tend to do wholesome, but fuck. A first for everything, he supposed.

[bakutenshi]

Inuyasha moment

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 144

Danny regrets nothing. He regrets absolutely nothing at all. Okay so maybe he regrets things a little bit, but it’s hard to concentrate. It’s hard to think, he…

He’s never died a second time before. 

It’s… weird. His head hurts, his body too-small, not in a younger sense, but almost in a… feeling sense. His skin feels colder, and his hair has- it has bits of white in it now? And he’d already been able to use his ghost abilities even in his human form but it feels… easier now. 

He’s not overshadowing his own corpse- he doesn’t think he is? His head hurts… his everything ached actually, like he’d gotten electrocuted again even if he’s certain that wasn’t how he died.

Did- did someone throw his body into the sewers? 

Seriously, what the heck? Who would do that?! Urgh, that made him so mad- who just throws a corpse around, nevermind his corpse! That’s so rude! 

… 

Hello crocodile-man staring at him in slight horror, please ignore the blood covering the back of his head, the wound has healed, he will be out of your way once he can talk again- Wait, there’s no need to call for someone-