#the irreparable damage that song has done to me

[maryse127]

Still waiting for the whole playlist but to the surprise of absolutely nobody Too Much is Never Enough is once again in my Spotify Wrapped Top 5. It has been there every single year since I got into FFXV a few years ago.

[cowboy-robooty]

i get so fucking mad and incellic about vocaloid its not even funny

[gay-edwardian]

Gosh I just love TV performances of I Know There's Something Going On. The dancing (if you can call it that) is just enough to be kind of goofy, her outfits are always slightly wacky, she's always good at engaging with the camera but sometimes it feels like she's staring at you specifically. Her hair.

[livvyofthelake]

saw a tiktok about heartstopper to the song timeless. you bitches don’t even know the half of it….

[goblingirlgratitude]

30 day song challenge (here)

day 11: a song you never get tired of (pt. 1: 2023 releases only)

[helluvabinge]

Ok, but let’s talk about the fact that they can’t hear each other, because that means that everything they are saying is either internal monologue or things they wish they could say to each other, but these thoughts are independent from what the other person is saying.

So let’s split them up.

Stolas:

Why am I throwing my freedom away for this idiot? I would rather be dead than live life without you by my side. So if it keeps you alive…I am the mastermind, the master of my fate. Sure as the stars have shined, I’ll give my life to clean your slate. You’re my light. Only death can rend our love apart

Stolas’s motivations are the focus of the song, so there’s not a lot of surprising stuff here, but let’s break it down.

Stolas is definitely acting on a whim here. He only has seconds to come up with a plan based on very limited information about what the court knows (remember, he didn’t see any of the trial, just the announcement of the execution). He makes a decision that may be a bit brash and he definitely hasn’t thought it through, but the song gives him a moment to reflect. What am I doing? I am so frustrated and heartbroken by what this man has done. Why am I throwing my life away for him?

And of course, there’s a very simple reason. Stolas loves Blitz. He loves him so much that he can’t imagine a world where Blitz is completely gone. Despite his recent heartbreak, there’s still hope that they’ll find their way back to each other, however distant that is. Blitz’s death would be the end of that hope, and Stolas would rather give his own life rather than lose that tiny hope.

He reaffirms that he is the master of his fate. He is doing what Blitz has always given him the courage to do. He makes a decision for himself, based on his own wants and his own happiness. He chooses his fate, rather than letting others decide it for him. He can do this one good thing, this one redemptive action for this mess that he has made. He can clean Blitz’s slate and take his place.

Stolas’s fate up to now has been to watch distant lights and divine prophecy from them, but Blitz is his light, warm and present. He’s the only future Stolas wants, the future he gets to chose rather than one that is chosen for him. How could anything but death come between that love?

On the other side…

Blitz:

What have you done? I can’t live life without you by my side. What are you doing? I don’t deserve this! I realized too late. Don’t give your life to clean my slate. You’re my heart. Only death can rend our love apart.

Blitz’s vocals echo Stolas’s, but I think they reveal even more when taken on their own.

Blitz is just starting to realize what Stolas’s plan is. As it dawns on him, he starts to panic. Like Stolas, Blitz knew prior to the trial that their relationship was likely irreparably damaged and that they were definitely not getting back together. But also like Stolas, he had that tiny distant hope that maybe they could find their way back to each other. He doesn’t want to go on without Stolas by his side. He genuinely loves him and the thought of being without him has been heartbreaking. The thought that it could be permanent is unbearable.

And of course, Blitz’s self worth issues rear their ugly head as he begs Stolas to stop. What are you doing? I don’t deserve this! I’m not worth this. I’m a piece of shit. I have hurt so many people, including you. Why would you give your life for me? I did this, and so much worse. Why are you taking my punishment?

(He also says he realized too late, but it’s unclear if he’s referring to his feelings or that he realized Stolas’s plan too late to stop him. I don’t know. Let me know what you guys think.)

He pleads with Stolas, his heart, the person who finally made him want to feel, to be a better person not just for Stolas, but for all the people in his life. Stolas is his heart, and he will love that stuck up horny owl (affectionate) until the day he dies.

I love that they twined these lines together, as it does a great job of showing their relationship dynamic of constantly talking past each other. Even in this moment when they are in perfect sync, they have no idea how much the other’s feelings mirror their own.

Anyway, I love this song and I’m going to go listen to it again.

[nigelights]

"the line" by twenty one pilots will play during viktors transformation, a breakdown of lyrics.

THE LINE SPOILERS BY TWENTY ONE PILOTS - PLOT SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT VIKTOR IS IN THE LEAUGE OF LEGENDS GAMES, SEASON TWO OF ARCANE EPS 1-3 SPOILERS.

when we see viktor emerge from his magic filled shell, he's changed completely. and in the later episodes we see him take on a symbolic and guided path of light and healing, at the cost of himself and his health. in the very first few lyrics of the line, it already states things that are suspiciously close to what viktor is experiencing and will begin to experience in the later episodes.

we also see in the few trailers released, and now confirmed by the new episodes, that viktor is able to heal those with ailments, and there are people gathered in white while someone rises from the floor, becoming healed, but what does it do to viktor? we've seen his stance change on his closest friend and ally, jayce, but at his core he cannot deny that this magic has done irreparable damage to not only himself but his surroundings. he is already being worshiped, and the trailer only proves that it goes further beyond healing those injured by use of shimmer and battles.

"my body's on the line now, i cant fight this time now, i can feel the light shine on my face. did i disappoint you? will they still let me over, if i cross the line?"

we can see in his first instance of healing someone, it takes not only things from the surrounding area (bolts, screws, scraps of metal), but also takes something out of viktor, relating the first words sung in this, directly to him. this "light" that now surrounds viktor and the expectations with it, is also mentioned many many times.

"take a seat. but i'd rather you not be here for, what could be my final form. stay your pretty eyes on course. keep the memories of who i was before, so stay with me but--"

viktors "final form", in the LOL games, is a robotic machine herald of the new age of tech. this is such a switch up from the viktor we see in arcane, but i feel that this song is the 'push and pull' between both possibilities of another outcome of a kinder and caring viktor who sticks to his true core values, only changed by what the hexcore longs for him to do, and his original goal of helping people of zuan being so much closer now that he has this newfound power. the former, where he is enemies with jayce, becoming obsessive with the fact that mechanical error vs human error may save more people, pushing him to change himself into something unrecognisable. -- "id rather you not be here for, what Could be my final form. keep the memories of who i was before."

moving on, one of the first things we see when viktor comes out of his hexcore-made transformation pod thing, is that his eyes shift colors. one of the first hints that hes changed beyond being completely purple. -- "stay your pretty eyes on course"

"honestly, i thought i was fully prepared for the threshold in store, stay your pretty eyes on course. i guess i never really faced my fears before. so stay with me because. my body's on the line now, pull the blanket tight now. i can feel the light shine on my face."

vitkor has bitten off more than he can chew. hes changed dramatically, irreversibility, and the hexcore/sky guided him towards the path of light, at the cost of himself and others. hes gathered a following that could be considered cult-like, hes become a beacon in the thick smoke for those who need to see. what happens when viktors body gives out, prior to the mechanical modifications, and those who rely on him for healing, dont get healed? with viktors death, comes more death. pushing him to become something else entirely. -- "i thought i was fully prepared for the threshold in store"

we are all familiar with viktor and his multiple interactions with death. and at his side he's always had jayce, his support system. even with his suicide attempt, had jayce not been there viktor would've died, and the same thing goes for the start of s2 ep1. so viktor hasn't truly shaken hands with death, hasn't had it knocking so close, so what happens when he faces that fear alone? when his support system has changed from his best friend-- to a large group of people looking towards him, seeking his help with their injuries, worshiping him. this song is a letter to death, a letter seeking help and a letter to himself. -- "ive never really faced my fears before"

"please don't let them see me, show there's nothing left to try, i can feel the light shine on my face."

once hes crossed the line, theres no going back. and his followers may not perceive that as something good, their healer has become hurt, broken, and unlike himself. this last repeated line only reminds me of the intro where viktor is looking into the mask, and its glowing.

that in itself is such a confirmation that this song was written for him, but i felt that an explanation post like this was a cool thing to do plus i love twenty one pilots and i love arcane sooo this was an opportunity to yap away anyways i hope you enjoyed!!!

[killuintense]

❝ shades of cool ❞

vendetta!leon kennedy x fem!reader.

summary: when did you fall in love with someone who lives in shades of cool?

content: 2.1k words, friend with benefits, angst, hurt/no comfort, commitment issues, alcohol issues, toxic relationship, mention of Ada (sorry girl I love you), slight nsfw.

note: ever since i heard this song for the first time i thought of Leon automatically, of how irreparable all the damage he has received is done to me even if true love is presented to him. So i hope you enjoy it and if you can, listen to the song for a better reading!! you can leave me requests or recommendations, i'll be reading them!

Sometimes you wondered how many times you had seen that blue gaze so sad and lost in the solitude of his thoughts, ignoring you for a few seconds, which became enough for you to realize that he was not there with you. He never was.

Not even when he laughed and spoke to you again after taking a sip of his drink, that whiskey that drained all his regrets as if you didn't exist, as if you weren't enough to make him feel good. But it was his words dragging across his tongue with difficulty that made you lower the adrenaline of loving him, bringing you back to the reality in which you found yourself.

You met Leon in one of his many missions, you were carrying out one of your investigations for the private company that provided services to the D.S.O. You would almost say that you worked together, and although you were always a woman focused on work, his blue eyes and the immensity of them swallowed you up instantly. Especially when he noticed you were in danger and put his hard bearing in front of your body, covering you completely while telling you that he would take care of it, because he didn't want anything to happen to you. Fuck, you felt the air escape your lips and your heart pounding with desperation as he would pull you away from the zombies with that agility worthy of a militarily trained man, and kill them all. Then he would throw out his sarcastic and teasing comments, winking at you subtly every time you laughed and rolled your eyes, trying to hide your heart clouded with shyness.

Looking at him now, you should have stopped right there, but… the mission ended successfully, and he told you that it had been a while since he had finished one of his jobs without a dead body on his shoulders. He seemed happy, that man who you sensed was hiding an injured child, was happy and all those looks went straight to you. For that very reason -among all the looks he had given you- you couldn't refuse when he invited you to dinner "Shall we have something to dinner after this?" he mentioned while he was signing some papers. You laughed and nodded, what else could you do? That blond was talking to you, that blond was glaring at you the whole mission just at you and now he wanted to do something as simple as have dinner, relax. You couldn't deny him.

Now you were thinking that you wished you had really, really stopped there. But the talk was spontaneous between the two of you, his jokes and his very particular remarks took you out of that rushing routine of work, and your soothing voice and warm arms gave him the calm he had lost years before. And the combination of the two made for a fatal but so tempting result. In fact, that day you were left in no doubt. His hips colliding with yours, his length working its way inside you, giving him another kind of heat that made him tremble on top of your body. Your head was high on those sensations, kept spinning and sinking in his smell so masculine, so lulling.

"God…so good, so fuckin good" he gasped in your ear, thrusting again and again inside you. His hands didn't know where to go first, didn't know whether to squeeze your neck roughly, whether to caress your breasts or cling more to your soft hair as he fucked you so deeply that you felt no other cock could ever give you again in your life. You could feel his mouth move from your lips to your neck harshly, and you were already anticipating the marks he would leave, and that's what drove you the craziest. "You're so tight, is this how I get you? Holy shit…" he growled, perhaps the most natural and deep growl anyone had ever been able to give you. And it was that aggressiveness and hardness mixed with imploring adoration for you were ways of defining Leon Kennedy. Even when he cummed, after making you come so fucking hard, he moaned your name so needily and pleasurably that you thought you had signed the sentence of your obsession right then and there.

And it got better the more you got to know him, when he embraced you after fucking you so well that your legs were almost unable to move. Holding you in his arms and kissing you, telling you how good you were, how good you were doing him. And, over time, that was what they did most, what they had become; that unspoken agreement of non-commitment that started out as the perfect plan but was…. was killing you.

When the nights came where instead of staying with you in bed he went to the sofa in the bedroom and started to sink into drinking, when you found him crying in your arms while you didn't know what to do or what to say to him. Then you noticed that Leon was very romantic, he almost lived for love, and he couldn't carry any more deaths, any more of life's rejections of him; especially when he mentioned Ada and your little hopes that something between you was possible, were shattered.

"He's calling me, not her…" you thought as you received a message on your phone, him asking you if you were free. Asking you if you were free to take you to bed, before asking if you were well, if you felt like it. What you didn't understand at that moment is that if it was for Leon, he would have called her and not you.

But what could you do? He would tell you everything with confidence, he would sink into the warmth of your embrace when he didn't know where to go, when the pain chased him and left him prey instead of hunter. You would nod, whisper comforting words, caress his bare, scratched back for you. At the time you were constantly convincing yourself that you could fix him, that you had come into his life to do something for him and care for you the way he did for you.

The problem was when you realized that he was unfixable, that not even a little of your love and what you had to give him was of any use to him. So much of your love, your body, that connection, was of no use to him. When the sheets got tangled between you and your moans calmed down after you both finished, unlike always, you felt him get up and walk with a heavy step to the table in front of the bed, take the bottle with a glass cup and pour the liquid, and suddenly the room reeked of that pure perfume of expensive whiskey, so as not to stop reminding you that even that drug served him more than you. And you couldn't fix it. You couldn't do anything with his strange weather; when he was well with you and was back to being that Leon with hopes and goals that made your heart not want to let go but then he would get depressed enough, he would start to be curt and dry, he would tell you that he preferred not to make plans for the future, that he didn't think beyond that. And you stayed at the doors of his head, unable to know what he felt, what was wrong with him, trying to understand him the way he left you being so confused and abstract. He lived in the shadows, in cold tones, and he was slowly dragging you down with him.

You even remember the last night you were with him. He said he would stop by to see you, he didn't even ask you and even though you were overwhelmed and broken in yourself, you accepted. You wanted to leave him, every day was a harder suffering than the previous one, you began to hate him and that was the most complicated part, because you also loved him. You hated the idea of not being able to do anything for him, of seeing him falling apart. Of not being able to provoke him the way Ada did, of him not thinking about you as much as he thought about her, of him not choosing you the way he did her. And you didn't blame her, sometimes you even felt regret that Leon couldn't be happy with Ada; but not enough to make you wish he would leave you.

"Hey…" he was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. The doorknob began to soak between your hands, the nervousness becoming present with each passing second. He looked so good, his blue eyes swallowed you more and more, the density of his lips moving to say even the slightest word made you weak.

"Leon…" came out almost like a whisper for help, you were drowning and your head didn't know what to do or where to go. The shit you were going through was being fought by that adrenaline addiction that man in front of you was causing you. However you frowned and made up your mind. That would stop right there.

"Leon!" you moaned as he buried you in the couch in one lunge, grinding your insides with a quickness that plunged you into the disgrace of feeling fake loved. You couldn't help yourself, not when he wouldn't let you finish a sentence he was already sinking into your neck kissing you where only he knew you loved so much. His moans and grunts were transfixing in your ears; you felt wetter than ever, you were clenching him tighter than ever. And he was struggling not to cum at that very moment, you could tell by the way he tensed his jaw and pounded you harder with his plunging cock as if your insides were his favorite place. "Kiss me, kiss me, for God's sake…" you gasped pleading tears of pleasure -mixed with some of sadness- ran down your flushed and hot face, you even felt a bit of your soul go with him when he stared at you. It had been months since he had stared at you, intensely; soon you felt like you were looking at heaven and at the same time his lips were taking you to hell. Holy God, that kiss was too much for you; not only because while he was eating you like that, he was cumming hard inside you, moaning with his tongue running across your mouth, sucking your lips, licking no matter where, but also because it seems that was enough for him to sink into your heaving, defeated chest. And you held him, with no one holding you; and soon he seemed asleep, and it was all it took for you to sob and cry without him noticing. You let yourself go in that pathetic way, feeling the cum inside you, how your body received it so well, feeling that it was the only thing that united the two of you.

You woke up without him next to you, or on top of you, or in the kitchen looking out the window while he drank his coffee, as he always did. You didn't know when, but he was gone, and you woke up without a trace of him. For the first time, it had never happened before. Then, at that moment, Leon Kennedy, who was crumbling, ended up taking you too to that world of gray, where the blue was sadness and not sky. And the only two times he looked for you, you didn't answer, not because you didn't want to, but because you didn't have the strength to stop feeling that pain in your heart.

Because, at that moment, you were aware of Leon's true absence. When he gave up at the second attempt. And left a hurting woman, with bitter love to give, but none to receive.

[artisticxlly]

Imagining ships to this song has done irreparable damage to me, actually (/nsrs)

[romanoffsbish]

Love is For Children ; Hope is For Suckers

Yelena Belova x Fem!R

Prompt | 2,084 Words

“After everything you've done, I still love you. with all I am.”

Warnings: Angst/No Happy Ending, Poison, Blood, Death

"What are you doing here?" Yelena was in a state of total shock, you looked different, she admired the features of your beautiful face, and how the fresh haircut you got framed it well.

"Work," you cooly relayed, then reached out to hand her the manila folder in the hopes that the woman would take the hint and depart, because seeing her after a year hurt you far more than you thought it would, or that you'd care to admit. You've been fine, convincing yourself you were over her, but apparently not.

"I-I miss you Y/N," her tone was soft, but her words were heavy with a sense of pleading, "Please, can we try again? I want to fix us."

"There never was much of an us to start with Lena, it was a well calculated ruse that got me trapped into this lifestyle I never wanted."

——

"Don't say that!" Yelena cried out, "It was real to me Y/N, I love you, please tell me I'm not too late, we can't be over for good, please..."

"After everything you've done, I still love you. with all I am," Yelena's heart stopped at your confession, a hope that had once fizzled out began to bloom from deep within her chest. "I'm just not sure I'll ever be able to trust you again Belova." And just like that the deceiving hope died, because the damage she regretfully caused to your heart appears to be irreparable.

"For the sake of this hit succeeding I can pretend though," you shrugged your shoulders, then shoved the folder into her hand before shutting the door to your temporary room.

Yelena frowned, then walked across the hall to slam her temporary door shut. She hadn't expected to see you, well, ever again honestly. It appears that Valentina, the root of all of the blonde's heartache, had a different plan here.

"Why her?" Yelena's tone held a unmistakable edge as she spoke to your mutual former boss, and the woman on the other line giggled, "Yelena, you both still owe me a debt, so she has no choice but to be useful when I say so."

"Double mine Valentina, please, leave her be."

"This isn't a charity auction, she has two more missions, and then she's free for good."

"I hate you," Yelena growled, only to be met with a a soundboard of mocking laughter, "Yeah, until I put a fat check in your hand, then it's Valentina, who's my next hit."

"No, my debt is up after tonight Valentina, and I will not be back, you can count on that," she shouted, then instead of hanging up normally, she slammed the phone into the wall for what looked to be the same effect. "Glupaya suka."

(Stupid bitch)

—

The following morning came fast for the blonde who didn't get a wink of restful sleep. Her eyes never even closed, left to dry out as she stared aimlessly at the popcorn ceiling until the rising sun managed to break the precise focus she had on the bumpy top wall.

Not long after the rude awakening did her alarm go off, as she was in the shower, trying to wash away the look of exhaustion in the hopes that she'll look somewhat human again. The loud beep soured her further, no longer was she listening to the joyous tune: American Pie.

Fortunately it timed out as she was stepping out, her song now resumed as she works on drying off and stepping into her white suit. After twisting two front braids into her bun she made her way to the kitchen to down a mug of coffee with a shot of tequila mixed right in, while sloppily eating a blueberry muffin.

*Are you ready to go?*

Yelena sighed as she picked up her phone, the last thing she wanted to do was go to a party with you on her arm in a state of falsehoods.

*I'll meet you in the hotel lobby Y/N*

What the blonde wanted was your forgiveness, then after she won that she'd work towards total reunification, but as of right now it's only a fruitless dream for the heartbroken blonde.

—

"Did you read the files?"

"Y/N, this isn't my first hit, obviously yes."

"No need to be hostile Belova, I'm just trying to ensure that you're on your a game since I can smell the tequila on your fucking breath," you hissed at the woman you still somehow loved.

Yelena dejectedly sunk into the passenger seat, "I'm sorry Y/N, really," she muttered sadly, and you honestly felt your heart breaking.

"I know," you softly replied, your anger fizzling out just as fast as it surged, "We have to get through this event Lena, we're almost free."

Yelena nearly burst into tears at the sight of you briefly smiling at her, it was incredibly warm, and something that she dearly missed. Instead she returned the gesture and nodded.

Holding onto all this anger wasn't fair, you've been working solo for Val for over a year now, and you learned just how vindictive she can be. You'd always had a target on your back being a thrown away super soldier, the experiment was not a failure, but the rehabilitated program was thrown out when too much heat fell on the America agency running it. You were put into a witness protection of sorts, but of course the Director of the CIA would easily find you.

You knew Lena didn't want to hurt you, at first you were just a job to her, seducing you into this life was her assignment, but as she fell for you it was no longer a mark she was willing to work. She tried to undo it, but she only made it worse, and Valentina told you before she was able to, and so you are left to blame her.

Yelena even thought you hated her, but if you hated her this mission would be a walk in the park instead of a soul crushing reminder of all the good you ever had then subsequently lost.

After a few moments of silent driving you finally reached the grand ball, you pulled up in front of the massive place, handed the keys to the valet, then for the sake of appearances you rounded the car and offered Yelena your arm, "You ready to go in Mrs. Smith?"

Yelena looked at you unamused, you knew how much she hated the bland undercover names. She always used to grumble over it to you:  "Why can't we be the Bensons? Or maybe we could be the LongBottoms, you'd be Fanny!"

It always ended the same though, she'd pout, and you'd kiss her softly, but then you'd still say no. So the Smiths or Allens it usually was.

"We are too beautiful to be the Smith's," she whispered in your ear as you two entered the venue through the extensive security check. You softly giggled, and nudged her side, and for just a moment it felt like nothing changed as the blonde stared at your uplifted face.

Then it was back to business as your face neutralized while observing the room filling with people. Yelena held you even tighter when the perp was in your direct sight, she wasn't sure why, but her gut was telling her to run.

"May I have this dance?" your hand reached for hers, and she gladly accepted it, because she realized that a moment of pretend happiness was better than nothing, "Yes, but I lead."

Yelena watched your eyes narrow, but she was not going to back down, and you were not all that worried about her declaration as you let her pull your body flush against hers, and with a slow pace set you eventually waltzed around the room. Through the art of dance the two of you were actually communicating. Yelena would dip you whenever she felt the hallway was worth keeping an eye on, and she'd spin you when near the guys who were packing.

Then, in the heat of it all she kissed you, the only message relayed was one of love, and even though you were on a mission, you indulged the blonde, because your heart was fluttering in ways you never imagined it would again.

"He's on the move," you panted softly into her mouth, then you quickly dropped her hand, "Keep close, but remember, don't hover."

Yelena watched you walk in the same direction,  slipping down the same hallway, and this was the part where she had to rely on faulty comms, and your ability to knock out an entire room. This was a dance the two of you had been accustomed to, but it always left her uneasy, and as she heard your blood curdling screams through her comms she knew why that was.

It all happened so fast honestly, one second you're fighting a handful of goons without even breaking a sweat, then the sleazy guy you're after emerges from the shadows with a dark smirk, and when you saw a green vile and a needle in his hands you knew you were fucked.

The need to warn Yelena was high, but you were so paralyzed with fear, that the only warning she got was your pained response before your body slumped to the floor in a state of shock.

The men left the vile on the ground as they rushed out before Yelena could get to them. That moment came within seconds, Yelena barreled into the room with her gun at the ready, but slipping it past security was pointless because they were gone, and judging by the way your body convulsed you were next.

"Strychnine," she reads with a wobbling lip, it was a commonly used punishment back in the red room to inject the girls with this when they failed to meet Dreykov's standards. Yelena's cheeks became stained with bitter tears as the memories of watching those girls die replayed in her mind on a loop, your fate was sealed...

But you were a super soldier, so she wasn't going to just give up without a fight, her phone sat beside her running a search on how to reverse the poison while she worked to get you to wake back up, you had to wake back up.

"Y/N, detka, wake up," she tapped your cheeks, causing your slumped head to go side to side, "Please, I need you to wake up," she pleaded, hands desperately shaking your shoulders.

"Y/N, if you die, then so do I!" Yelena was desperate, so she began to attempt chest compressions, and after a second you were oddly enough, choking on air, "Okay Juliet..."

"What? No, I'm Romeo," Yelena gasps in offense at your ludicrous insinuation, "You're the clear Juliet here Y/N, moya krasavitsa."

(My beautiful girl)

"Juliet had a chance to live, and she gave it up when she saw her love laid dead beside her," you quietly reminded her, Yelena's smile was bright, but her dull eyes were unmistakable.

"Well, I was hoping I could get Romeo to safety, because I don't give up that easily."

You smiled sadly, "Hope is for suckers."

"Then a sucker I am, because I'm hopelessly in love with you, so please hold on," she admits through tears that slowly run down your arm soaking your cuff as you weakly cup her cheek.

"Love is for children, and ours was hopeless," you managed to choke out before you were actually spluttering over your own blood.

Yelena heard the sound of heels clicking from behind her, but she spared the wicked woman no glance, her eyes too fixated on your face. 

Your lips were parted as tiny, short wheezes slowly left you, Yelena pressed her soft lips to your chapping set, "Mne zhal', chto ya podvel tebya," you unconsciously smiled against her in your state of delirium. "YA tebya lyublyu."

(I'm sorry I failed you / I love you)

Suddenly your lips started to lose feeling, and your body slumped into her lap, "Please, detka don't go," she whimpered, causing you to jolt back into a temporary state of consciousness as you whispered so gently that it was a struggle for her to even hear you, "I love you too Lena," and what followed your words was devastating silence, you gave your final breath for her.

An unwelcome hand gripped her shoulder, "If you want revenge for her, you'll stick with me."

Yelena nodded, then listened to the retreating click of heels, "YA ub'yu tebya tochno tak zhe."

(I will kill you just the same)

———

[die-lian-hua]

tagged by @mirensiart and omgggg I missed doing these tagging memes <3 peak tumblr good times

Last Song: Harpy Hare… just the kind of vibes I love

Favorite Color: Sleeping Beauty has done irreparable damage to my psyche since I was a toddler so now my favorite colors are both blue🩵 and pink🩷 but never at the same time, like in lilac, only either one or the other which leads me to confusionnnn

Last Book: since it’s been a a while since I’ve finished any books, just like how I haven’t finished Fire & Blood yet (still going thru it) I’m gonna say Last Video Game: instead which is equally as good as a peak book or peak movie

MOUTHWASHINGGGGGGGG

Last Movie: I haven’t sat down to watch any movies lately but DOES MOUTHWASHING COUNT?? it’s basically a movie that’s a game. anyways, I think my last was Beetlejuice Beetlejuice bc I prefer watching movies on the cinema… monsterfucking yaoi peak Venom 3 hopefully soon

Last TV show: was rewatching hotd again :’))))) and rewatched AHS coven recently bc that’s still the peak of the series

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: It’s complicated bc I say I love sweets but can’t eat more than a few bites of cake or just one sweet at that time… but I go sicko mode on anything with exorbitant amounts of sodium so. I must be true to myself and say Savory

Relationship status: I’m VERY aromantic so thankfully always single

Current obsession: MOUTH. WASHING.

Last thing I googled: who the fuck KSI is 😔

Looking forward to: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT BABEYSSSS

tagging anyone who wants to do this omg

[multi-lefaiye]

song / pic / saying tag

Rules: Pick an OC and post a song you relate to them, an image that represents them in some way (aesthetic, picrew, art, etc), and a quote of dialogue or narration from them. Totally feel free to expand and explain!

OC: Eden Linnaeus (because he's all that's on the brain rn)

tagged by @addisons-damn-dialogue and @written-in-gold <3 ty both!

song: father - the front bottoms

(content warning: this song is about child abuse, including implied sexual abuse)

i don't take this song completely literally when i apply it to eden, but well. it's a song about the narrator having a complicated hatred for his abusive father that negatively affects his relationships with the other people in his life, such as his girlfriend.

for eden, i take this song to represent his anger and hatred for his father. abdiel walked out on him and, in the process, irreparably damaged eden's self worth and ability to have healthy relationships with others. but also... eden's hatred for abdiel is also hatred for himself. after all, they have a *lot* in common. eden wants to destroy abdiel, and by extension he wants to destroy himself.

anyway. the opening lines of this song are incredibly eden-core:

I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat And he is screaming and crying for help And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him Than it ever did protecting myself

image(s)

okay i had trouble finding a serious one. so you get a silly one.

i think this is pretty self-explanatory. eden is a ball of anger and daddy issues. he is fueled by spite.

quote

"Oh, boo-fucking-hoo, yes, I lied to you! Why does it fucking matter? We have bigger problems. You have your way of fixing things, and I have mine. Gods forbid I decide to get shit done and not sit on my ass whining because someone didn't tell me everything."

aaaand tagging time :3c

tagging (with no pressure to any of y'all): @albatris @skitzo-kero @anexor @vacantgodling @invaderskoodge @astral-runic

[simplenefelibata]

istg supernatural has done irreparable damage to my brain because What the actual fuck. i was listening to the frozen soundtrack because my nephew loves it and then the song For the first time in forever started playing and i CRIED because i could only think of sam and dean. dean telling sam JUST STAY AWAY AND YOU'LL BE SAFE FROM ME. BYEEEEEE i am a weirdo

[ruvviks]

drastic + vincent please :3

DRASTIC [x] characters >> vincent mayer (oc), vitali dobrynin (oc) context >> july 2077; vincent and vitali are in tucson to try and figure out a way to stop vincent from dying after johnny silverhand has been successfully removed from his head total >> 1.6k words warnings >> death mention, hospital, needles, surgery mention

‘Vincent. Can you hear me?’

Wakey wakey.

Vincent could barely open his eyes, eyelids and head still heavy with sleep. The air surrounding him was surprisingly cool; as far as he was concerned it was the middle of summer, and he was in Arizona of all places. Wasn’t it supposed to be sweltering?

Someone gently took his wrist. The action itself did not hurt, nor did the feeling that followed– but it caused him instant discomfort that bordered on pain, the sensation cramping up his entire arm and it took him a second to realize it was the work of a needle that was stuck in the top of his hand.

He was in the hospital. He had just gotten out of surgery.

His eyes finally opened, bright light pouring in from the window on his left and momentarily blinding him as he groaned and tried to adjust. The nurse beside him gently placed his hand back on the mattress and hummed a song as she checked something on the screens, gloved fingers rapidly tapping on the keys of the digital keyboard as she typed in some information.

The soft hum of the devices around him was like a lullaby and Vincent slowly exhaled as he closed his eyes again; but a sudden weight on his chest– as well as the sudden realization of what the surgery had been for to begin with– violently ripped him back to reality and he gasped for air, as if all oxygen had suddenly been taken from his lungs.

‘Easy,’ the nurse said, placing a hand on his shoulder to prevent him from sitting up. ‘You’re alright, Vincent. Everything is fine. Try to breathe as normal.’

Easier said than done. He had a fucking cybernetic lung now– and sure, it worked, but the idea alone was more than enough to cause involuntary tears to well up in the corners of his eyes as he could feel his irregular heartbeat in every single inch of his body and his unstable breathing scraped painfully past the dry inside of his throat.

Ever since he had arrived in Tucson it had been one surgery after another. Preventive measures for the most of it– save from the removal of a bullet shard that had still been stuck in his head, the last bit Viktor hadn’t been able to dig out before– replacing damaged organs where possible and removing previously installed implants to minimize risks.

And none of it had helped so far.

Vincent was still very much dying, despite all their efforts. Initially thought to be the damage the Relic had caused in his body, irreparable at that; not so irreparable anymore but with all holes patched and the ship still sinking, he couldn’t help but wonder if Soulkiller was still working its magic.

Sure, the program had been on the Relic itself– but then again, all technology had gotten damaged by that bullet and with Johnny’s engram overwriting his psyche and then his psyche overwriting all of that to separate himself from the biochip, who knows what kind of malware had managed to sneak its way in in the meantime?

‘There’s a visitor waiting for you,’ the nurse said, shooting Vincent a gentle smile after he had managed to settle down again. ‘Would you like me to get him for you?’

‘Yes please, thank you,’ Vincent replied, not needing to ask for a name to know exactly who she meant, and he couldn’t stop his heartbeat from rising in excitement and relief when she left the room to call the man in.

It still managed to catch him off guard, to see Vitali Dobrynin out of his usual work attire. A sight he had gotten to grow more familiar with over the last few months– the whole situation with Johnny had driven Vitali out of the office often enough for Vincent to catch him in simple sweatpants and a hoodie on the regular– yet it still felt a little strange to him. “The man sleeps in a suit,” Jackie had once jokingly told him. Vincent wouldn’t have batted an eye.

‘How do you feel?’ Vitali softly asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed, sleeves of his flannel loosely rolled up and only partially covering his forearms. His hands were clasped together on his lap– for once not a single ring adorning his slender fingers– and he nervously ran his thumb over the side of his index finger.

‘Little strange,’ Vincent admitted as he reached out to take Vitali’s hand in his own. ‘The more I think about breathing, the harder it gets. I know it’s just between my ears, but– you know.’

Vitali quickly nodded, a light smile on his face as he shuffled a little closer and leaned in to press a kiss on Vincent’s temple. Which, of course, also caught him off guard; with the complete chaos of the aftermath of the attack on Mikoshi he had continuously forgotten about the fact he was dating the fixer now, and now that they could finally have some time for themselves it still did not feel entirely real to him.

‘Don’t you think all this is– I dunno, maybe a lil’ drastic?’ Vincent quietly asked, allowing the other man to cup his cheek and run his fingers down his face. ‘I mean– I don’t feel much different than before. Just increases risk of cyberpsychosis if anything. Even with all the removed implants.’

‘You might not feel it now but something is still happening in your body,’ Vitali simply replied, the pre-programmed answer he had been giving Vincent for weeks now. ‘Sooner or later you will start feeling it. And then you’ll be glad we had precautions done before it got too bad.’

‘Costs a shit-fuckton of money.’

‘Which I have.’

‘Well, I don’t.’

‘You don’t need to.’

Vincent clenched his jaw and exhaled sharply, the action causing his chest to tighten a little and he winced, brief panic overtaking him; but nothing else happened, the cybernetic lung doing its job perfectly fine, and he allowed himself to relax again.

It did not feel right to let Vitali pay for his surgeries. He had done so from the fucking beginning, no less– when Vincent had gotten a correction surgery on his chest and Vitali had told Viktor to put it on his tab, despite Vincent continuously telling him he’d get the eddies himself after his recovery.

But Vitali was a stubborn man– painfully so, insisting on helping Vincent wherever and whenever he could. Out of the goodness of his heart, of course; but definitely so out of guilt as well, having to live with the knowledge he had not been able to save T-Bug and Jackie and because of that so desperately trying to save Vincent while he still could.

If he even could.

Vincent lowered his gaze, softly biting the inside of his lip as Alt’s words echoed through his head again. He was dying; there was no denying it, even if he didn’t feel it just yet, and if they wouldn’t figure out what exactly was going on with him he wouldn’t make it to the end of the year.

If he had done the calculations right, he’d be on his deathbed on Vitali’s birthday of all days. He couldn’t do that to him.

But perhaps Vitali was right. Perhaps the surgeries did help and would at least give him a little longer than what Alt had predicted. Perhaps Alt had not even told him the truth; perhaps whatever was going on with him in that moment was only temporary and the effects would wear off the more time would pass.

But with more and more of his body turning into a machine, Vincent could not help but wonder if it wouldn’t just have been easier to transfer his psyche onto a fucking biochip too.

Would’a been a copy, V, you know that. At least you’re still you, now.

But for how much longer?

Even Johnny– or, well the voice in Vincent’s head pretending to be Johnny– couldn’t answer that.

Vitali suddenly turned, pulling his legs onto the bed and moving closer until he was sat directly next to Vincent, leaning back against the raised mattress. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders– and Vincent in return moved closer without hesitation, burying his face in his boyfriend’s chest, grateful the painkillers were numbing most of the pain in his upper body.

‘We will figure this out, my love,’ Vitali softly mumbled and planted a kiss on the top of Vincent’s head. ‘I promise. I’m not giving up on you.’

He had paused all his business and tossed aside all his responsibilities to help Vincent find a cure. Had left Night City behind– had left his business in the hands of Mikhail– and even now weeks later he was still there by his side, paying for his surgeries and keeping him company through it all. Of course Vitali was not giving up on him– and Vincent had never received such devotion before, to the point he had no idea what to do now that it had fallen right into his lap.

‘I love you,’ he simply whispered in return, on the verge of choking back tears when he felt Vitali momentarily tense up. ‘I love you so much.’

He didn’t know how much time he had left. He didn’t know if Alt was right, he didn’t know if any of what they were doing there was helping him at all–

But at least he wasn’t alone.

At least he had Vitali.

[beanghostprincess]

Okay first off please ignore that this is from the new chicken run movie (although I got to say the new chicken run movie is really good so if that doesn’t deter you that’s also great) but also all this Shuggyuta family talk coupled with me having this song on repeat for the last few days has done irreparable damage to my brain and I just need you to imagine a Uta growing up Montage set to this song with me:

https://youtu.be/UNjPjQdwmHc?si=m4NXRCfd2OGKuLbZ

… although now I’m also thinking about Saunst + their daughter with this and my heart is bleeding even more at the thought of Sanji just being a tiny bit overprotective of his little girl while also being aware she’s gonna grow up some day and go her own way and aaaagh! God! „I just want her by my side for my whole life. She's the brightest light and the highest high. And it's hard i know. One day she'll have to go and leave me behind But i never wanna say goodbye couse she's so sweet“ LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING ME SIDEWAYS WHAT THE FUCK

Anyways. Chicken run soundtrack, oddly feels inducing for some reason

Don't worry about this song being from Chicken Run. I am like, the least judgemental person when it comes to soundtracks and music because the things that seem the most absurd can have the best of music. Heck, I listen to the Ducktales and Animaniacs soundtracks a very not normal amount- Also the Trolls soundtrack is so fucking good?? Honestly, musicals. In general. (Ducktales isn't a musical but y'know, good music in general, and the Darkwing Duck theme song is one of my favorite songs ever?? And every time Dewey sings I cry with joy but that's because it's Ben Schwartz and I absolutely love his voice). I AM SORRY I GOT TO CARRIED AWAY- I- I used to have a very heavy hyperfixation on Ducktales I am sorry.

And I haven't watched Chicken Run, by the way, but Paloma Faith is a great singer and this song is just SO beautiful?? I can totally imagine a whole montage with Shuggy/Uta and Sanuso/Their daughter that I definitely don't have a whole OC of ahahahahaha (I am so normal I definitely don't have two twin daughters and a little guy created for these two hahahah-). It's just,, So cute.

I think both Shanks and Sanji would be the most sensitive dads ever and they'd cry just thinking about their children growing up. It makes them really emotional!!!!!

[worlds-tallest-fairy]

Tag Game

Thanks to @aintgonnatakethis for the tag!

Three ships:  I thought of like 10 immediately so I'll stick with most recently read/into:

Telford/Rush (Stargate Universe): I went to AO3 looking for Telford content of any kind, I came up for air like 2 days later loving them both together and apart and seriously may I suggest you read anything @aintgonnatakethis has ever written? I'm not sure what's not to love.

Michael Garibaldi/Anyone (Babylon 5): I mean anyone. I'd probably read Garibaldi/Computer if you sent it to me. Garibaldi lovers are so few and far between. And the actor was...not a great person. But Garibaldi man. He's the most fascinating character on the show. Or in the top three. And I want someone to fix him.

(Seriously, I should talk to my therapist about my love for broken/dysfunctional men who give their literal heart and soul to their cause, end up brainwashed by aliens/the enemy, betray their friends/country/crew in an epic Judas-esque moment and angst their way through the aftermath. It's probably important.)

Eddie/Buck (911): I have no other explanation to this then they are clearly in love and co-parenting their child and the fact that no one in the writers room recognizes/recognized that is ridiculous (and queerbaity as hell). I'm not up to date on the most recent season but it sounds like ABC is actually handling this problem.

Honorable Mentions:

Harold Finch/John Reese (Person of Interest):

Jim Caviezel is an asshole who had done irreparable damage to anti-human trafficking efforts everywhere.

HOWEVER: John and Harold make me squeal and their found family/found husbands vibes are wonderful

Root/Shaw (Person of Interest):

No notes/No comment. They are perfect.

First ship: That I read fic for: Dramione. First ever, probably Tommy/Kimberly from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I was like 6.

Last song: Music in heavy rotation currently: Sleep Token's entire discography. When you're writing a story about semi-sentient ships playing match maker, you gotta rock to Sleep Token. Also in rotation: The Crane Wives, Amelie Farren and Seth Staton Watkins

Last movie: I really don't watch movies often. Probably Man of Steel.

Currently watching: Stargate Universe, Stargate: SG1

Currently reading: Besides Telford/Rush fics? I'm reading through the Longmire books, which are cozy western mysteries. Henry Standing Bear is by far the best character.

Currently eating: Oreos and Peanut Butter

Currently craving: It not to be Sunday? I really don't feel like working tomorrow. Also some of the Cajun Turkey my husband is eating.