#the inspiration for the tail was literally just like:

[writingtraumaforever]

Juno: Chapter 1

Notes: Warning: I have literally never been to a concert in my life, so i'm bullshitting all of this. This was inspired by the Sonic Twitter Takeover where Shadow revealed his next concert he and Amy would be attending was Sabrina Carpenter- which are notoriously sexual in nature. My curious ass just loved the idea of exploring how Shadow may act at such an event, and here we are. Absolute crack with fluff.. and a bit of.. ahem. sex.

Summary: Sonic attends a Sabrina Carpenter concert with friends on Amy's birthday.. and a few surprise guests.

Rating: Explicit (suggestive and sexual content)

Chapter Select:

Link to my AO3!

Start:

Sabrina Carpenter was definitely not on Sonic’s Spotify Wrapped Playlist. The only songs he’s really heard of hers are the ones that have inevitably gone viral on all those social media platforms. Feather. Please Please Please. Nonsense. Espresso– okay, Nonsense might be on his playlist. But that one is just catchy, okay!? Couldn’t be helped.

It’s not that he doesn’t like the singer. He has nothing against her! She’s just.. Feminine. Like. Hyper feminine. And while Sonic likes to say he’s in touch with his feminine side, saying he’s comfortable blasting Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift in public is a bit of a stretch. He has an image to uphold after all! If Eggman sees him all over the news bopping to You Belong With Me then how would he ever be intimidated by Sonic ever again???

All this to say.. He was attending one of her concerts. Not by choice! It was Amy’s birthday. And while he wasn’t keen on going to a concert of some short blonde human strutting around singing about coffee and birds, he cared about Amy. She was one of his closest friends! And if the one thing she asked for for her birthday was for everyone to attend a concert she was extremely excited about with her then so be it! Sonic could suck it up for a night and be there for his best girl.

Amy honestly hadn’t seemed to have expected Sonic to say yes, so when he did, she jumped into action and bought the necessities. She had arrived early to his house along with Knuckles to “prepare them for the night”. Preparation apparently meant fluffing Sonic’s chest fur into the shape of a heart rather than it being trimmed and combed down as usual, decorating a pink cowboy hat for Knuckles to wear. When Sonic asked why Cream and Tails weren’t coming along, Amy answered with a simple, “Not age appropriate,” and nothing more.

How explicit could coffee and feathers get??

Sonic didn’t question it. In fact, he’d rather go into this knowing as little as possible.

After Amy added some sequins around their eyes for extra glam and did her own makeup, they left for the concert! Amy was dressed in a hot pink dress of some sort that had kiss marks bedazzled all over it and a heart cut out over her chest in a peek-a-boo sort of style. Her bangs were curled in a very specific way, and her quills looked more voluminous than usual. She was stunning! And both Sonic and Knuckles told her so. While this was definitely neither of them’s cup of tea, they’d do anything for the heart of their group with no complaints. And that was absolutely Amy Rose. She’s done more than enough for all of them.

They were perfect gentlemen, opening the door to the front of Sonic’s car, the Speed Star, for her to climb into, Knuckles sitting in the back. They didn’t wanna ruin their stylish looks with walking or running to the place, opting for the rare but convenient choice of driving somewhere for once. 

Once they arrived, they paid for parking and climbed out. Sonic kept his head down for the most part as to not be seen– not for the sake of embarrassment, but for the sake of not drawing too much attention. It was Amy’s night, after all. 

As Sonic looked around and took in the overwhelming crowd of girls at this venue, though, he couldn’t help but honestly feel bad Amy didn’t have more girl friends her age. He supposes her position in Team Sonic has taken up most of her social life, spending her time in their close-knit group rather than branching out more. Which is a damn shame, honestly, because she was a great gal! Super sweet, easy to talk to, unconditionally loyal, and so, so caring. Most girls would kill for a friend like that! But Amy never quite fit in with most girls, it seemed. Always intimidating a lot of them with how confident she was or how outspoken she could be.

That along with the company she kept, Sonic supposes it just drove most people away.

All that to be said, Sonic and Knuckles did have a surprise guest coming to meet up with them for Amy..

He kept his pink counterpart close in the wave of Sabrina Carpenter fans, quickly taking note it would be easy to lose her in the crowd with how much pink there was. She should’ve worn a different color, damnit. Her arm stayed looped around his, bouncing up and down giddy with excitement as they inched closer to the front of the line to get in.

“Oh, this is so exciting! I have been watching videos of this concert for weeks! Thank you guys so much again for getting the tickets!” She beams, grabbing Knuckles now as well and yanking him in for a tight, group hug. Both the boys groan at the squeeze, chuckling with wide grins. “No problem, Ames,” Sonic shrugs off as he’s let go, “Your excitement is more than enough to make it worth it.” “Yeah, and plus it’s your birthday!” Knuckles adds, playfully punching the pink hedgehog in the shoulder, “Can’t let our girl down on her birthday!”

Amy just smiles wide at this, stars in her eyes and blissful with anticipation.

“You guys are just the best,” she beams, both boys bashfully blushing at this. Sonic rubbing under his nose with a little smirk and Knuckles rubbing the back of his neck with a wink.

They eventually get inside the venue, finding their seats and taking in the place. It was massive. Sonic seriously underestimated how big a deal this chick was. That being said, there were three spots left open near them, so maybe it didn’t sell out?? 

One was for their surprise guest, though. Whom which was now walking up.

“Hey guys!”

All their heads turned to the familiar voice, finding none other than Sticks the Badger making her way over wearing a her typical tube top but paring it with a taupe-pink skirt instead. Sonic silently appreciates the tom-boy’s effort. 

Amy absolutely loses her mind, doing one of those squeals only possible for a female to perform. It was nearly at a pitch only dogs could hear, he swears–

“Sticks! Oh my Chaos, what are you doing here?!” She jumps up, wrapping her arms around her friend once she’s close enough and having the gesture returned. Sonic and Knuckles fist bump behind them proudly.

“Couldn’t miss my best friend’s birthday! Even if it is at a concert that will most likely end in us all being hypnotized by subliminal messages in the music..”

Classic Sticks.

“Oh my gosh–you came so far all for me???” Amy giggles excitedly, pulling back to look at her friend better. “Yeah! Of course, I had the help of our boys,” the badger winks, gesturing to the two who are still sitting in their seats looking up at the reunion.

“Hey Sticks.” “Long time, no see.” “Hey fellas.”

Amy’s lip wobbles and crimps up, little sniffles coming from her as she fans herself with a tearful, “You guuuuuyyyss…”

Sonic chuckles and shakes his head at her, “Don’t cry!” “Your makeup!” Knuckles adds with a little laugh. “I know! I know,” she takes a deep breath then huffs it out, “Gotta pull it together. For the glam.” “For the glam,” Sonic and Knuckles unanimously agree.

Sticks joins the three, and they all chat amongst themselves over what’s been going on in their lives since last they saw one another. Amy and Sticks have a lot of long overdue girl talk as well, leaving Knuckles and Sonic to talk about not girly things.

Like girls.

“So how’s it been, Knucks?? Still too committed to a rock to get a girl one?” Sonic teases with a little smirk.

“Ha-ha. Very funny,” Knuckles grunts with a roll of his eyes, “You can’t exactly be preaching to me about commitment either, Sonic.”

“Me?? I’m committed to the wind in my quills and the ground pounding beneath my feet, buddy. That’s the best commitment there is!”

Knuckles huffs in an amused sort of way, “Sure. Until you’re precious feet are old and wrinkled and alone.”

“I’ve got plenty of friends to keep me company,” Sonic shrugs, brushing it off with a wave, “Anyway, enough about me. We were talking about you. How’re things going with—“

“Don’t even mention her,” Knuckles groans immediately, “She’s confusing and infuriating. And batty.”

“Well. That is her species,” Sonic remarks with a smirk.

“Whatever, man. I’m just glad to have a night away from her pestering me. Kinda shocked Amy didn’t invite her—“

“Hey boys, the fun has arrived!”

Knuckles’ eyes widen, a mortified look developing on his face as he stares at Sonic, “Don’t tell me..”

“Uhh. Yup,” Sonic grins with invisible devil horns growing from his quills.

Knuckles turns and Sonic leans over to see properly as well. And sure as hell, there’s Rouge the bat looking fine as ever.

She on theme as well, dressed in a red mini-skirt that sparkles like every other girl’s there along with a matching crop top that has a heart cut out over her cleavage— an ongoing trend Sonic is noticing at this concert. Must be a Sabrina Carpenter thing. She has red sparkling high heel boots to match, the tips of her wings covered in bedazzled kiss prints and her makeup done up all spiffy as well.

Behind her, though, is the real surprise.

Shadow the Hedgehog.

Amy is immediately squealing again, moving to hug Rouge all excited and bouncy— the girl has so much energy. And that’s coming from Sonic.

“You finally made it!” she giggles, now prompting both Sonic and Knuckles to realize the two empty seats were ones for Amy’s own invited guests. Two they didn’t at all expect.

“Of course, we made it! You think we’re gonna leave the birthday girl hangin’???” Rouge grins, pressing a kiss to Amy’s cheek and leaving a bright red kiss mark there. No one bothers to point it out. It looks pretty on theme for the concert thus far anyway.

Speaking of theme, Shadow is… not on it. He’s wearing his typical leather jacket with some baggy dark denim jeans and his typical air shoes. Clothes, Sonic notes. Dude must get gussied up when he gets out. Under his jacket is a shirt that reads ‘Jesus was a Carpenter’. Which just adds to Sonic’s confusion, honestly.

But he does sport red glitter where the red cat-eye like stripes over his eyes are. Which makes his eyes look like they sparkle.. not that Sonic noticed.

He’s carrying a bunch of drinks and snacks in his arms— which is honestly a really smart idea, Sonic notes. He’s feeling snacky. Shadow is taking in the venue, looking around with a content sort of look on his face which honestly surprises Sonic. He isn’t typically one for crowded places, always seems antsy and ready to leave. Here he seems.. chill.

His eyes only move back to the group when it’s his turn to greet Amy, further surprising the blue hero with how he immediately opens his arms for her to hug him and hugs her right back with a-..

Is that a smile???

“Happy birthday, Rose,” the hybrid mumbles against Amy’s head, placing an affectionate kiss on the top of it and sending Sonic for a damn loop.

What was going on????

“Uh.. have I crossed over into another dimension or something??” he leans over, muttering to Knuckles who is also staring with obvious shock at the entire interaction.

“I wish you’d take me with you if you have, because it’s gettin’ real weird over here..,” the echidna mutters back. 

Rouge’s eyes move around Amy as her and Shadow catch up, spotting Knuckles on the other side of the birthday girl and Sticks. She immediately smirks and offers him a teasing wave with a wink.

Knuckles goes rigid, blushing as he slowly offers a tiny wave in return with an awkward and messy looking grin on his muzzle.

Sonic raises an eyebrow at this, “Thought you couldn’t stand her??”

“I’m sitting, aren’t I??”

Rouge scoots past Sticks and Amy, Sonic watching as Shadow and Amy keep talking— why are they still talking??

Sonic’s eyes shift to the bat, though, as she bends down directly in front of Sonic- the poor blue lad getting a face full of bat boob through her peek-a-boo hole. His eyes very purposely do not look down there, staying locked on her own turquoise eyes as she offers him a flirtatious little grin and points at his seat, “Mind if I steal your spot?”

“Uhhh..,” his eyes glance to Knuckles in the corner of his eyes, seeing the red echidna very subtly shaking his head. So there’s really only one answer Sonic can give.

“Sure.”

Sonic can hear the quiet growl Knuckles gives as Sonic stands from his seat, allowing Rouge to maneuver around him to sit down instead. Her attention is immediately set on the echidna, and thus, their typically bickering flirtatious banter is engaged.

Sonic just chuckles to himself as he looks at the others of whom which are now all sitting..

The order is Knuckles, Sonic—who is now replaced by Rouge, Sticks, Amy, Shadow… and Rouge.. which is where Sonic will now be sitting.

By Shadow.

Huh.

Didn’t think that through.

Mentally facepalming his big oof, the hero considers asking everyone to simply scoot down one so he can sit between Sticks and Rouge, but then he’d have to ask Shadow to move and that’s just awkward considering he’s only doing it to get out of sitting next to the guy.

“Whatcha doin’, Sonic??” Amy asks, looking at the blue blur with a cute little head tilt. He rubs the back of his neck, feeling Shadow and Sticks’ gaze also fall on him now.

“I uh-.. Rouge took my spot. So I sorta gotta..”

“Oh! Here,” Amy responds, moving her crossed legs to the side so Sonic can step through easier. Sticks and Shadow promptly do the same, Sticks hugging her feet up on the seat with herself while Shadow swivels his hips to move his legs as Amy did.

Sonic just nods appreciatively and sidesteps through them, careful not to drag his tail across anyone sitting in the row in front of them. Once at the end of his friends, he promptly takes his seat next to Shadow.

This.. was weird.

He hasn’t seen the guy in… honestly, he doesn’t know how long it’s been. Perhaps it was Rouge’s birthday six months ago?? It was her 25th, and she had it at her club. Shadow had been there. He and Sonic hadn’t talked, though. He had mostly stayed talking it up with other GUN agents he and Rouge worked with, and Amy a few times. Then he left early to take Cream home while everyone else of drinking age stayed to party properly.

Sonic hadn’t even realized he and Cream were that close. Let alone that Ms. Vanilla trusted him that must with her precious girl. He was honestly lowkey offended she hadn’t asked Sonic to escort her home. But then again, Sonic had wanted to stay and party, so.. worked out, he supposed.

Either way, the point stands that he didn’t really see Shadow a lot anymore. Somewhere along the years, he and Shadow stopped their petty rivalry and grew apart. Their need to constantly outdo one another didn’t quite hit anymore. Races came to an end. Sparring slowed to nothing.

Sonic often wondered if this was simply because Shadow felt he had nothing to prove anymore. He had grown as his own person, no longer comparing himself to Sonic..

He can’t even remember the last time he heard Shadow refer to himself as ‘the Ultimate Lifeform’.

He didn’t even know where Shadow was living these days.. last he heard, he had been relocated after Eggman took over years ago with the help of Infinite. Once the Resistance took their freedom back, Shadow was moved elsewhere to help rebuild their world. He never really came back permanently. Just showed up here and there..

He looked good. He looked.. different but yet the same. Taller. Definitely taller. And his chest fur was a bit more gold-tinted than the pure white it use to be from what he can see of it peeking out from his shirt. He’s guessing that just comes with age. Most white hedgehogs do yellow with maturity. Just as Sonic’s own quills are slowly turning a slightly lighter shade of blue. More cerulean and cobalt.

The corner creases of Shadow’s eyes looked sharper, but his gaze felt softer. Calmer. Not as brooding or defensive. Sonic couldn’t see his muscles with all those icky clothes on, but he imagines the guy is probably more toned now too—

He’s busted from his train of thought when he finally realizes a bright pair of crimson orbs are staring at him expectedly.

Did… did he say something to Sonic??

“Huh??” Sonic very intelligently says.

Shadow gives an ever so slight hint of a smirk, quirking a brow as he repeats himself, “I said it’s been a while.”

“Oh- yeah! It has. When’s the last time we saw each other, Rouge’s birthday??” Sonic offers his own little smirk now, adopting his cocky persona again to try and play off his very uncool initial response.

“I believe so, though we didn’t exactly get to catch up,” the hybrid replies casually, seeming far more comfortable socializing than the last time Sonic held a conversation with him.

“That we didn’t,” Sonic nods, offering a little chuckled, “Though, I didn’t exactly realize we were on catching up terms.”

“Why would you think that??” Shadow’s brows furrow, head tilting curiously at the blue hedgehog.

“Well, you never asked to catch up before,” Sonic points out, shrugging his shoulders.

“I suppose that’s true,” he mutters after a moment of pause, seeming to ponder this as he looks back towards the stage..

Sonic doesn’t like the weird tension that suddenly just formed between them, so he swiftly changes the subject.

“Didn’t expect to see you at a Sabrina Carpenter concert,” he lightheartedly teases.

“I come to concert often with Rose,” Shadow shrugs nonchalantly, “Plus, Sabrina is extremely talented.”

Sonic hums at this, leaning closer and then nudging Shadow’s arm with his elbow, “You and Ames see each other or somethin’??”

Sonic tries really hard to not make that sound like he was prying. Or jealous.

That obviously doesn’t work.

Shadow merely snorts, seeming amused by Sonic’s question, “Why?? You jealous, Faker??”

Faker. Hasn’t been called that in a while.

Sonic huffs, rolling his eyes and quickly looking away, “I love Amy, but not like that..”

He doesn’t mention Shadow.

Shadow eyes him a moment before answering, “No. We aren’t courting one another.”

“‘Courting’,” Sonic snorts at Shadow’s fancy terminology.

“We just attend a lot of concerts together. We have a lot of the same tastes.”

Sonic can’t help but chuckle at that, “Sorry— it’s just funny imagining the Ultimate Lifeform jamming to Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift.”

“I’m not the Ultimate Lifeform. You are,” Shadow corrects, and that gets Sonic’s attention. Emerald eyes dart over to crimson with a perplexed look at what he just said.

Shadow.. admitted to not being the Ultimate Lifeform?? That’s.. new.

“And either way, they make good songs,” Shadow continues before it can be dwelled on, “Their lyrics are profound and clever.”

Sonic just offers a small smirk and shrugs, “Can’t say I’ve ever really listened enough to properly process the words.”

“Then you’re in for a treat,” Shadow chuckles huskily, a chill going up Sonic’s spine. “Sabrina’s can definitely be.. interesting.”

Sonic decides not to ask what he means, looking forward to just seeing for himself.

He’s noticed a lot of children here, though, despite Amy saying the concert wasn’t age appropriate for Cream- who is now 13, and Tails who is 15. He wonders if these parents realize this and are just stupid, or if Amy is simply mistaken—

The lights dim and a large screen flashes on in the stadium, screaming erupting from all around as the show begins.

The bit is that Sabrina is running late, and when she comes rushing out with a towel wrapped around her only to slowly open it in a flashing style and reveal the shimmering bodysuit underneath, Sonic very quickly decides that yeah.

The parents are just stupid.

Amy is screaming and jumping up and down, Sticks seeming to be looking all around as though this would be the perfect time for some sort of attack.

Rouge is cheering and clapping too, Knuckles standing beside her watching with the same amount of confused intrigue Sonic is feeling.

Shadow is just smiling, standing and clapping at her entrance.

A mic is slowly lowered to her small frame, her height being shorter than most humans, Sonic notes—

Ohhh… ‘Short & Sweet’ Concert. Makes sense now.

Sonic watches as the entire crowd listens with baited breaths as the blonde holds the mic to her lips and sings,

“Oh I leave quite an impression..”

•••

The first song was alright. Typical song about a girl warning her ex’s new girl and shit. Amy is yelling the lyrics along with Rouge, the pink hedgehog bouncing while the bat sways to the beat. Knuckles seems to greatly be enjoying that more than the actual show. Sticks is still looking all around, but she’s moving to the beat as well, at least. Shadow is next to Sonic simply ever so lightly swaying to the music and nodding his head now and then. Sonic swears he detects humming from the guy at one point, but the crowd singing makes it hard to tell.

The song flows right into the second one, that one feeling far more energetic and upbeat to the point Sonic finds himself bouncing as well and letting loose a bit. If Shadow the Hedgehog can attend the concert with no remorse, so can Sonic.

These lyrics definitely are more explicit, dropping the f-bomb frequently. And much to Sonic’s astonishment and amusement, Shadow actually chants along to this one.

“I won’t give a fuck about you~—“ Sabrina will sing, turning the mic to the crowd for them to sing it back to her, which Shadow very passionately does.

“I WON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU!”

“I won’t give a fuck about you~—“

Sonic watches with a laugh as Shadow leans down to Amy next to him, her standing on her toes in her heels to get in his face as well as they both aggressively and playfully yell “I WON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU!”

It’s a rare day that Amy Rose curses, but it’s definitely a fun one.

Sonic even joins in on the chanting at the end, catching on pretty easily. Rouge is chanting it all sassy in Knuckles direction to which he just smirks and rolls his eyes at her while biting back his grin.

Sticks very much enjoys yelling explicits unabashedly as well.

The song ends and Sabrina properly addresses the crowd, welcoming them to her concert. The vibe is crazy in the place, girls screaming everywhere. Even Shadow cups his hands around his mouth and woops for her.

The next song is unexpectedly more southern styled than Sonic expects, a more acoustic-country sort of sound than the pop songs that came before. Like she’s saying welcome home to everyone.

Amy sings to this one rather than yelling, and Shadow sings now and then, too, singing some lyrics louder than others like ‘A boy who’s nice that breathes I swear he’s nowhere to be seen’ or ’Since the Lord forgot my gay awakenin’ Then I’ll just be here in the kitchen servin’ up some moanin’ and bitchin’.’

Sonic honest to Chaos can’t help but notice how passionate that ‘gay awakening’ line was from the hybrid.

Honestly, she’s really good. Her voice is strong and clear despite the choreography she’s performing, and the beat is catchy. He can see why she has a pretty damn good following. Hell. He may even start listening to her some more after this, who knows??

He definitely notices she’s a bit more.. how does he put this.. bold than other artists tend to be. She’s very comfortable with her sexuality if her movements and lyrics are anything to go off of. And with how much of a passionate and loving person Amy tends to be, it does shock Sonic one bit that she’s a fan of this girl. It’s right up her alley.

However, it does shock him Shadow is a fan. Shadow whom which Sonic swears will die a virgin. At least in his head.

But Shadow doesn’t seem at all put off by any lyrics or dancing. He seems almost to relate to them. And that throws Sonic off even more.

Or perhaps he’s simply reading too much into this. That’s probably it. He needs to relax and cut loose to have some fun and stop over analyzing his long term rival.

And as if reading his damn mind—

“You guys want a drink??” Rouge announces, slouching forward and wiggling the flask in her hand that she managed to sneak in somehow. Sonic does not want to know how.

Amy gasps and laughs with wide eyes, “Rouge, you’re so naughty!”

“It’s a Sabrina Carpenter Concert! Naughty is part of the experience~” she grins, already handing out little plastic shot glasses to the group. Filling them up one by one, they all wait until they each have one before counting to three.

Then they tip them back, downing them all in a single motion. Amy immediately wobbles a little as it hits her. Sonic himself bounces up and down and wiggles with a “Woo! That stuff’s strong!”

Shadow’s nose crinkles at the overwhelming burning in his throat, clearing his throat as Sticks coughs at the unexpected taste. Knuckles even has to cough a bit at the kick the shit has.

Rouge always has the craziest drinks, man.

Now nice and warm and tipsy, the next song begins and Amy squeals excitedly and shakes Shadow’s arm as she realizes which one it is. He just chuckles and grins as well, and Sonic feels like he’s definitely missing an inside joke or something but it’s fine. They’re having fun.

“He didn’t hold me in his arms. We didn’t stumble over the pages of our relationship arc. Ignoring tornado warnings..” Shadow is singing again. And Chaos— Sonic doesn’t try to overthink the lyrics, but Shadow sounds so earnest while he’s singing. Like he means it.

Amy’s head is resting on Shadow’s shoulder, singing along too.

“Don’t understand how quickly we get right back in our rhythm without missing a step. And logically the last thing I should have on my mind But I want you there sometimes..”

Sonic sways slowly to the song, but he keeps his ears perked at the words Shadow sings. His brow furrowed in thought as each lyric hits a little differently.

“I guess maybe that’s why I’m lying to my therapist. I keep saying things like, ‘I never saw him and we never kissed’.”

It’s just a song.

It’s just a song.

“Now I think somehow in my mind, if I could convince him, if he doesn’t see it, then maybe it doesn’t exist.”

It doesn’t mean anything.

“I think he’s onto me every time I say I’m over that son of a bitch. I’m lying to my therapist.”

The song ends and the crowd cheers, Shadow clapping as well as Amy lets out another scream. Rouge is cheering as well, her head rested on Knuckle’s shoulder and his arm is around her waist.

’So much for not being able to stand her,’ Sonic thinks to himself with a little snort. 

The stage lights change to that of a sunset, Sonic only just then realizing this entire concert is simulating a sleepover. They started during the day, now it’s sunset. His guess is night is next. Then morning. And that’s probably when she’ll sing about coffee!

Shadow likes coffee..

Why is he thinking that right now???

The next song is slower as well, Sabrina playing a guitar the first half. This one seems to hit Amy extra hard. And Sonic tries really hard not to overthink that as well. He knows he’s broken the girl’s heart in the past by denying her advances. But he does love her. She’s very important to him..

But like a little sister. Or a best friend.

And while she’s over him now and has accepted that, that doesn’t mean she’s not gonna still mourn that loss of a relationship she had made up in her head for so long. And rightfully so. Let her have her experience, he won’t shame her for it. 

That being said, when she screams out “The girl outside the strip club getting her tarot cards read, we love to read the cold, hard facts, and swear they’re incorrect!” he can’t help but feel a little bit like a piece of shit for being unable to requite the love she deserves. 

“You don’t have to lie to girls! If they like you, they’ll just lie to themselves!”

“And girls will lose their goddamn minds for you, they’ll cry and girls will lie and do it ‘till the day they die!”

Yeah. Piece of shit.

The song ends and Amy looks like she might have a few tears rolling down her cheeks from what Sonic can see of her. So with a guilty little smile, he taps Shadow’s shoulder with a sheepish, “Can I have her a minute?” to which Shadow looks Sonic skeptically up and down before hesitantly stepping back to allow Sonic to switch places with him. Sonic wraps his tan arms tight around his favorite girl, squeezing her in a big hug as she giggles and sniffles against his chest.

“I’m alright, Sonic,” she assures with a roll of her eyes, leaning into his hug nonetheless, “Just a bit emotional.”

“Love you, Ames,” Sonic responds simply and honestly, nuzzling the top of her head to which she just giggles some more and nuzzles back with a “Love you too, Sonic..”

Sonic glances up to see Shadow smiling at them, the blue hedgehog clearing his throat and letting her go as the next song starts to instead keep one arm swing around her shoulders and sway with her leaning into his side.

And just like that, Shadow is back to singing with his whole chest and being very distracting for Sonic dear Gaia—

“You’re good at falling, not the staying there. You’re good at the giving too much then getting scared.”

Amy holds onto Sonic’s side a bit tighter as Shadow sings this one along with their entertainer for the night, Sonic keeping his eyes on the singer rather than looking around lest he gaze at Shadow.

“But now I wonder why I let your confusion keep me up at night. I’m so tired. Re-read every single undertone and I overanalyzed it, front, back and beside it. Where else can we go? There’s nothing left to decode. Done lookin’ for signs in the gaps and the silence. It’s just getting old.”

Damn. These lyrics are heavy. Shadow was right, she’s definitely got skill as a writer. The words speak to people. And it’s obvious with how Shadow’s eyes are shut and he’s singing along so shamelessly. Like he’s pouring his heart out. Amy is singing as well, but not like Shadow..

This one hits Shadow hard.

And Sonic really wants to know why..

The song ends and sure as hell, the stage goes from sunset to near night with a red curtain and lighting. Sonic’s just feels more validated in his theory.

The next song feels more upbeat, and Sonic feels a bit of relief wash over him. He was starting to feel a bit bummed with all the lyrics being thrown around. Though he’s not sure why. It’s not like he’s the reason Shadow is singing with such sweet sorrow.

Still, the place needs something more upbeat, and Sabrina is certainly providing.

And boy is she providing.

She’s sprawled out on a bed, moving around very seductively.

The song is raunchy. Exclusively about hooking up with someone, Sonic is certain.

But it’s also incredibly amusing because Shadow actually turns on some sass. 

Amy is looking at Rouge and pointing at Shadow as she sings with her,

“Who’s the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent, like?”

Shadow just poses with his jacket, whipping his quills dramatically as Amy and Rouge sing, “Maybe it’s all in my head.”

Sonic laughs at this, Shadow chuckling as well, and everyone seems way more loose and silly again. Much more Sonic’s vibe.

What Sonic doesn’t expect is when the next verse starts, Shadow turns to him and starts singing along as if serenading Sonic. And the lyrics—

Oooo boy.

“Come ride on me— I mean camaraderie.” Shadow acts along, shaking his head as if correcting himself and continuing, “Said you’re not in my time zone but you wanna be.”

Sonic blinks wide at him as Shadow takes Sonic’s hand in his and dramatically clutches it to his chest as though making some sort of poetic love confession, “Where art thou, why not uponeth me?” Sonic shivers. Shadow points to his head, “See it in my mind, let’s fulfill the prophecy.”

And just like that, Shadow drops Sonic’s hand and turns right back to looking at the stage as he sings along to the chorus. Sonic is left very confused and very shook. His cheeks and ears are burning and his throat feels dry.

A lot of images are now in his head that he never expected to be there..

The rest of the song is the same vibe. Lustful and flirty and everyone seems to be vibing along with it. Rouge is practically serenading Knuckles whose muzzle is about as red as the rest of him at this point. He’s got his pink cowgirl hat tipped down as if to hide behind it all sheepish, his eyes only able to be seen by her.

Sonic is willing to bet they’re bedroom eyes. 

Speaking of! The song ends with a canopy closing around a bed on the stage and the silhouette of Sabrina and some random guy getting it on to which everyone screams at. Sonic even snaps out of his stupor to wolf whistle at the scene.

Everyone is laughing as the next song starts, though Sonic is still eyeing Shadow out of the corner of his eyes.

He’s never seen him like this, so it’s just so hard to look away. He’s so… free compared to the last he saw him. Unafraid to show emotion or feeling. It’s a good look on him.

But above all, he’s still thinking about Shadow taking his hand and quite literally asking why Sonic wasn’t ‘uponeth’ him.

That was.. interesting.

There’s a mini-show on the screen between songs and then a small dance number. Then it’s the bird song! Sonic doesn’t know the whole thing, but he knows the chorus thanks to it going viral so he can finally somewhat sing along to something!

The chorus hits and the entire group sings in unison.

“I feel so much lighter like a feather with you off my mind! Aahaahaahha!”

They’re all laughing into one another, dancing and bumping hips. Knuckles takes his hat off at one point and swings it around above his head all cowboy style to which Rouge grinds on his front in the process. Sonic laughs and hypes them up along with the others, Shadow rolling his eyes at them with an amused grin.

The bridge hits and they all do the little dance that’s been all over the Internet.

“I—“ they whip their heads and jut out their hips with all the sass they can muster, “slam the door, I—“ they flick their wrists, “hit ignore, I—“ they all slowly sink to the floor, Sonic swaying his hips as he goes, “say no, no, no, no more I—“

They all stand back up, Sonic facing Shadow now and pointing at him, “got you blocked, excited to never talk, I..”

Shadow chuckles out, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

They all laugh as they sing the chorus, jumping up and down and pumping their fists. Getting into it and having fun like the kids they are.

The next two songs are the same. Sonic particularly likes the song ‘Fast Times’, which is pretty on brand for him. Sabrina definitely is feeling herself on stage, as is his friend group. They’re all feeling a bit more wild and even take a few more shots here and there. Buzzing with energy and alcohol.

Amy definitely is enjoying her birthday.

Some more of the songs Sonic enjoys are ‘All Because I Liked A Boy’ and her surprise rendition of ‘Mamma Mia’. 

But when Nonsense comes on, he can’t stop himself from yelling in excitement right along with Amy.

He knows this one! Finally!!!

He’s gotta do more research before joining Amy at the next concert.

It’s like they’re damn rehearsed with how in sync their group is. The song reaches its bridge and they all mindlessly pair up. Knuckles and Rouge, Sticks and Amy, and Sonic and Shadow all face each other and do the silly TikTok dance that’s been everywhere—

“I’m talkin’ all around the clock, I’m talkin’ hope nobody knocks, I’m talkin’ opposite of soft, I’m talkin’—“

Without a single though and with all the drunken courage and hype in the world, Sonic spins around to grind his ass up against Shadow’s front as he sings “Wild, wild thoughts~”

Shadow’s eyes are huge when this happens, hands freezing up like he’s surrendering and immediately stopping singing along.

Sonic just bites his lip and spins back around to face him, putting one hand around his shoulder while moving the other as if to beckon Shadow to a challenge, “You gotta keep up with me, I got some young energy,” he’s dancing still, tail swaying back and forth seductively as he winks at Shadow, “I caught that L-O-V-E. How do you do this to me??”

And then he’s letting go of him, Shadow’s dark eyes still staring him up and down, but Sonic pretends not to notice as he keeps singing along with the song.

  “But I can’t help myself when you get close to me. Baby my tongue goes numb,” Amy leans over to Sonic, their backs pressing together as they laugh and sing, “Sounds like blehblehblee~” Moving their hands in a talking motion and giggling at each other. It’s fun. Energies are high and so is something else now.. Sonic can feel it. It’s been building for a bit now, and he’s been denying it out of shock but with how Shadow’s crimson eyes stay locked on him while he moves??…

There’s a sexual charge in the air now. Heavy and thick between them. Sonic keeps it playful, but there’s nothing silly about the way Shadow’s hand lightly brushes his hip while it moves or how his fingers graze his swishing tail. 

And while all this is building, the song ends and Sabrina starts another one. Now changed into a longer skirt that’s more elegant and singing a slowly song.

Shadow doesn’t sing this time.

But when the lyrics “You’re so sad, there’s no communication, but baby, you put us in this situation.”

Sonic glances over to Shadow to find him looking right back at him.

“You’re running so fast from the hearts that you’re breakin’..”

Sonic swallows hard, looking at him a long moment before quickly turning his gaze back to Sabrina on the stage. He likes the playful sexual tension a lot better than this feeling.. this one scares him.

Rouge has Knuckles arms wrapped around her from behind, holding her in a hug as they both sway side to side slowly and she sings along. Knuckles’ chin is resting on her head, a small smile on his face and his bedazzled cowboy hat all crooked on his head. Amy and Sticks have their phone flashlights turned on, raised above them and slowly swaying side to side as they sing along too. Shadow takes out his lighter— because of course the edgelord just has one on hand— and holds its flame up to sway side to side as well, gaze finally averting from Sonic and at last allowing the blue hedgehog to breathe. The song eventually ends, and the crowd cheers.

Another song doesn’t immediately begin. Rather Sabrina starts talking.

“Hey Central City.”

Everyone screams.

“It’s so stunning here. Every time I walk the streets here, I’m like— damn. What do they put in this water. Like. It’s obviously a lot better here on the East Coast than West, but it’s also really helped your genetics.”

Sonic laughs at this along with most of the audience. She’s actively flirting with her crowd and it’s comical. 

“Something I’ve been so lucky to encounter on my show so far is just some gorgeous faces.. and some crazy handmade outfits that are just— wow.”

Amy screams, proud of her own outfit as she bounces up and down.

“And I want to thank you all for taking the time out of your lives to put forth so much effort and just for being here. I can’t thank you enough.”

More cheering..

Then Sabrina is cupping her hand over her eyes and looking through the crowd. Sonic notices how Shadow huffs in an amused way, smirking as he watches. Amy looks like she’s waiting on bated breath. Something must be happening that Sonic’s missing..?

“Just let me take a look at yall..,” the singer hums, the crowd cheering as her gaze skims over each section..

Then it lands on theirs.

“Woah.”

Sonic’s eyes widen. Is she looking at them???

“Holy shit— damn, I think I just found my future last name here on the fifth row, oh my god- girls come here come here come here!”

Two backup dancers join her on stage, Sonic looking over to Amy to see her reaction to this and Amy’s own eyes look wide and hopeful. Like she’s about to lose her mind.

Sabrina returns near the part of the stage closest to them, pointing directly at them, “Heyyy fellas~”

The spotlight, sure as hell, shines right over them.

“I don’t have to ask for your names..”

The crowd screams as their entire group pops up on the screen of the concert, police sirens and lights suddenly flashing and blaring through the stadium. Sonic’s ears flatten at the loud noise, a small amount of panic setting in momentarily out of pure reaction. But Shadow doesn’t seem worried. He’s laughing and grinning and Amy is screaming and jumping hysterically, so-.. he assumes it’s fine and part of the show.

Sonic gives a small grin and little wave, everyone’s screams becoming louder in the venue.

“Didn’t expect to be graced with the presence of our world’s greatest heroes tonight,” the singer compliments, the crowd cheering as she runs her fingers through her hair all flirty and cute, “You guys enjoying the show??”

They all scream in response, Sonic cupping his hands over his mouth with a “Woooo!!” and Knuckles offering a wolf whistle and wink.

Shadow just claps with a smirk.

“I’m overwhelmed— I knew your group was beautiful, but I didn’t realize you were all so gorgeous, goddamn~”

Sonic just grins all confident, chuckling and giving his trademark smirk and wink to the camera which just makes the crowd scream harder.

No way they’re getting out of here walking. They’ll have to chaos control out to avoid this crowd.

“Something is happening to me- what are you guys doing to me,” she practically moans, “I’m getting so hot and—“ her skirt drops to reveal a miniskirt underneath, “and all my clothes are falling off!”

Everyone screams, Sonic’s eyes widening in surprise and then a laugh escaping him as Shadow chuckles and rolls his eyes at the hero’s astonished reaction.

Amy is still losing her mind, screaming things like “I LOVE YOU QUEEN” and “ARREST ME ARREST ME”.

And sure as hell, Sabrina pulls out some pink, fuzzy handcuffs that have Sonic’s emerald eyes following them. He shoves his hands at his sides and nods his head subtly towards Amy beside him, now realizing what’s happening. One of them is quite literally getting arrested. And if anyone should get the honor, it should be the birthday girl.

Sabrina seems to take this hint, walking towards the edge of the stage with them and crouching down to reach as far as she can before flawlessly tossing them right to Amy,

“I must handcuff you, they match you and everything.. Amy Rose~”

The crowd roars, Amy screaming as well as she slides them right on and lifts her handcuffed hands above her head and jumps up and down victoriously. The whole group laughs, their faces finally leaving the screens as Sabrina starts her next song.

“This one’s for you, babygirl..~”

Sonic has a feeling this one is gonna be spicy.

Sure as hell, the lyrics are full of talks of hot ass, good genetics, handcuffs, and hormones. Not to mention the entire song is alluding to her want to just be impregnated by some guy— in this case, Amy funnily enough. 

The beat is intoxicating, though, and Sonic’s fuzzy brain is enjoying just bouncing and bopping his head along. Him and Amy once again bumping hips as she sings, chuckling and feeling Shadow’s gaze watching them which only leads to Sonic meeting it and then moving his hips to bounce over and bump Shadow’s.

Shadow blinks at him at first before he gives a small smirk and ever so slightly begins bumping his hips to Sonic’s as well. Sonic just laughs and bounces between them, Amy giggling as well and still dawning her new pink fuzzy handcuffs.

“Wanna try out some freaky positions?”

Sonic watches as Sabrina runs up to the front of the stage, sinking to her knees and spreading her legs as she pulls her hair back with one hand and moves the mic in a very suggestive blow-job motion in front of her mouth, “Have you ever tried this one??”

The crowd has once again lost it, Sonic’s eyes widening and his tongue going dry at the sight. 

Yup. Not age appropriate. He definitely gets it now.

What really throws Sonic off is how Amy leans forward and across Sonic to playfully swat Shadow with a, “You have!!” laughing all half drunk and giddy. Shadow’s eyes widen, chuckling as he holds a finger to his lips and hushes, “Shhhh, Rose!”

But he can’t be offended on Amy’s birthday. Especially when she’s having so much fun.

Sonic on the other hand, looks absolutely scandalized. His gaze slowly turning to Shadow with his brows raised high above his head.

Shadow is still swaying to the beat, eyes watching Sonic now as they share a silent moment of communication.

Shadow just smirks and shrugs, turning back to the stage as if it’s no big deal.

Um— it’s a big deal!

Sabrina announces now that she wants the crowd to get on their knees with her now, everyone who is able. Amy is immediately on the ground, no second thoughts. Sticks looks skeptical, but she slowly moves down as well. Rouge does so slowly, her ass purposely grinding down Knuckles as she goes. Knuckles swallows and slowly follows behind her.

Sonic looks to Shadow to see if he’s doing it and what he finds is..

Oh sweet Chaos..

“Adore me..,” Shadow is singing, his eyes watching Sonic’s as he moves down to his knees painfully slowly. Sonic’s eyes are wide as he watches Shadow bow before me, “Hold me and explore me..” It’s like there’s no one else in the room for a moment, pupils blown and interlocked. Sonic’s lips are parted and his heart is pounding as he watches Shadow mouth, “Mark your territory.. tell me I’m the only only only only one..”

Sonic feels a pressure on the back of his leg, Shadow’s gloved palm slowly sliding around his calf and sliding up to the back of his knee..

“Adore me.. hold me and explore me..”

Sonic might be drooling. He’s not sure.

“I’m so fuckin’ horny..~”

Sonic moans. Absolutely involuntary and unexpected, a hand quickly covering his mouth when he realizes. His eyes are huge okay?? Shadow’s hand is up to the back of his upper thigh at this point, and Sonic thinks he’s gonna have to dismiss himself if Shadow keeps this up..

“Tell me I’m the only only only only one..”

Shadow is leaning dangerously close to Sonic’s crotch.. teasing.. crimson eyes half-lidded and looking up at the cobalt hero.

He knows what he’s doing..

“Now  everyone, let’s get up and dance!!!” Sabrina shouts out, and the entire crowd jolts up with a scream, nearly breaking the hypnosis Sonic was under.

Nearly.

Everyone is dancing like it’s the last thing they’ll ever do in their lives, but Sonic’s eyes are still watching Shadow as the hybrid slowly rises back to his feet and stares right back..

Sonic’s breath is shaky, Shadow is staring at him like it’s a damn challenge. No-… an invitation.

Sonic snaps out of it, clearing his throat and quickly turning to the group, “I’ll be back— gotta go take a bathroom break.”

They all nod, waving him off and not taking their eyes off the performance.

Shadow scoots back so Sonic can quickly brush through him towards the aisle and then the exit.

The line for the women’s bathroom is insane. But the men’s is near empty. Thank Chaos.

Sonic rushes inside, finding only a few urinals being used and most the actual stalls open. He clammers into one and locks it shut with a heavy sigh. Rubbing his hands back through his quills, Sonic closes his eyes and breathes. Tries to get that look out of his head. Those fuck-me eyes Shadow had been giving him..

Listening to the muffled concert outside, he hears the door open now and then as men come and go. For a moment, it’s silent in the bathroom outside his own breathing. He leans against the stall wall..

What is he doing?? It’s Shadow! Not someone who matters. 

Why is he getting under his skin like this?? Well- He’s always gotten under his skin, but-.. this is different. 

The door opens and he hears footsteps walk in, staying quiet so whoever it is can do their business then leave.

“Sonic??” 

Well shit.

Sonic holds his breath, hearing Shadow walk slowly towards the only closed stall.

Breathing out, he replies as casually as he can, “Give me a second to do my business, dude.”

Shadow huffs at this, Sonic can practically see his eyes rolling. 

“Are you alright??” 

“Uh..,” Sonic tries to play it off, “Yeah?? That’s a weird thing to ask when a guy is takin’ a—“

“I can see your feet, idiot,” Shadow grumbles, “I know you’re not actually using the bathroom.”

Sonic looks down at his feet that are very much sideways in the stall due to him leaning against the wall, groaning at his own stupidity before flushing the toilet he never used and unlocking the stall to come out. Shadow is standing there, sure as hell. Arms crossed with a furrow in his brow, but there’s a sympathetic sort of look in his eyes..

It makes Sonic uneasy.

“I was just finishing,” Sonic remarks, unwilling to admit to being caught.

Shadow huffs at this, “Right..”

Sonic walks past him, “All yours, pal. But it’s a little weird you wanted to specifically use the one my ass sat on—“

“Why’d you never talk to me at Rouge’s party??”

Sonic halts, turning to look at Shadow with confused eyes. 

“.. you wanna do this now??” Sonic asks with a little smirk, not letting his cool mask fall.

“Before the night ends and we go back to never speaking to each other,” Shadow answers, taking a few steps towards Sonic with his arms crossed.

“…You didn’t care.”

“What??” Shadow’s brows furrow now, looking confused as Sonic does.

“When I was dead.. for 6 months. Trapped on the Death Egg, being tortured.. you didn’t care,” Sonic explains with a sigh, shrugging his shoulders and averting his gaze. He keeps a casual smile, though, trying his best to seem unbothered by the heavy subject, “You never came and talked to me or checked on me. Just fought by me until the job was done.. and then you left.”

Shadow’s lips part at this, looking shocked by Sonic’s recollection of everything. 

“Of course I cared, you idiot, I-..,” Shadow pauses, seeing how Sonic just smirks a bit sadly at him and quirks a brow. The hybrid sighs at this, trying again, “I didn’t-.. I didn’t mean to make you feel as though I didn’t care, I-… I blamed myself..”

Sonic frowns now, looking at Shadow as he crosses his own arms, “What do you mean??”

“It was me who motivated Infinite into becoming the villain he was.. my bitterness and need to make everyone feel inferior to me is what led him to Eggman. And thus-.. your downfall..,” Shadow explains quietly, eyes looking at Sonic’s with shame. And oh.. that hurts Sonic somewhere in his chest.

It makes sense now.. why Shadow is so different. If he genuinely blamed himself for Sonic’s supposed death, it may have been enough for him to start trying to make some changes to himself and his life.. not be so condescending and isolated and instead be more open and accepting.

Sonic takes a small step towards Shadow, a hand reaching out as if to touch him only to stop himself and take it back with a frown, “…It wasn’t your fault, Shads.”

“I couldn’t face you,” Shadow continues regardless, “After what I had caused— my own copy had been one of the ones to take you down.. It was my doing. All of it. I had killed our greatest hero, and when you came back?? I couldn’t bear the thought of being the cause of something like that again..”

Oh Shadow..

“I was a liability. A threat- a danger to you and everyone else. My physical and genetic perfections were outweighed by something I had overlooked.. personality flaws,” he says simply, looking down now with an angered look. Not at Sonic, but at himself.

Sonic stays quiet, unsure what to say.. 

He knows Shadow. Arguing with him on it won’t change his mind.

“I never didn’t care,” Shadow eventually says, his eyes shutting a moment before returning to Sonic’s, “On the contrary, Hedgehog… I cared far more than you realized.. enough to walk away from all of it.”

Sonic’s brows knit at this, looking at him a long moment.

They stay like that. Staring at one another with heavy-burdened gazes and deep sentiment..

Sonic’s feet are moving before his brain is, reaching out to Shadow and cupping his cheeks in his hands to yank him right in.

Their mouths collide, rough and sudden and teeth clattering and lips bruised and—

It’s only a flash of a moment and then Sonic’s brain is catching up, immediately releasing Shadow and backing away with wide eyes and, “I’m sorry, I—“

Shadow isn’t having it, a hand grabbing Sonic’s waist and the other cupping around to the back of the hedgehog’s head to jerk him right back in.

This time the kiss is long. Hot and heavy and desperate, needy and rough..

Unspoken words in a mess of a kiss.

Sonic’s own hands move to slide up Shadow’s front over his shirt, one gripping at the fabric and the other sliding up to clutch Shadow’s chin as their heads tilt to maneuver the kiss deeper.

Eventually, air is a thing and Sonic has to pull away with a gasp only for Shadow to immediately shove Sonic back.

Sonic stumbles a bit, feeling worry creep in that Shadow was regretting this already—

Only to see Shadow digging in his quills for a red chaos emerald, pulling it out and shoving it into Sonic’s hands. They’re both panting. Both sloppy and shaky and way too pent up.

Sonic fumbles the emerald in his hand and looks at Shadow confused for a second only for Shadow to dive right into his neck and start licking and biting and kissing.

Sonic’s knees feel weak, his eyes rolling back with a shaky moan leaving his lips.

Shadow just growls in response, “Get us out of here.”

“Where??” Sonic very stupidly asks— his brain go brrr okay??

Shadow snorts against his neck, Sonic’s own lips curling up at the sound, “Your place, idiot.”

“Oh-,” Sonic’s eyes shoot open again, realization dawning on him as he nearly drops the emerald all over again once it does, “OH.”

He’s gonna get the Ultimate Lay.

Raising the emerald high above his head, he breathes out a very quick and anxious, “Chaos control-“

The two disappear in a flash.

[tastefulbean]

More nuzi stuff- may finish this later idk HDHDBSB

[yamishika]

Jellal & Erza : Lilium / Death Of Innocence

Pure white lilies once untouched by scare and sin

Now bathe in blood and are soaked from within

Their fragile petals have become bruised and worn 

Marking the place where innocence has been trampled and torn

Sweet laughter no longer lingers here 

Just the looming shadows that speak of fear 

The scarlet stains, an unmoving mark 

Forever reminding of the chains that kept them bound in the dark 

The lilies scream their silent cries 

Of dreams undone beneath lightless skies 

Each drop of red, a memory slain 

And haunting reminders of a past that never lets them break from their chains

Once soft as dawn, their beauty has bled

But neither are they allowed to rest amongst those forgotten or dead 

Yet the blood stained lilies continue to bow in grief 

Whilst watching the promise of innocence being swept away like a falling leaf

Darkness still surrounds yet they stand, though bent and torn 

Eternally mourning the life that could have once been born 

With each scarlet stained petal, and through every lamenting sigh

The death of our innocence only continues to pass on by..

[phoenixmetaphor]

angry kitty Leon from @thebrandywine ‘s [cat scratch fever]

[flamboyant-king]

You know how I've been "working" on a Ling Picrew, well, it's been several months and I have had no motivation to continue it.

I sincerely do wish to finish, but I haven't been "doing okay" for a while, so I will let you guys play with what I had done for the longest time.

https://picrew.me/secret_image_maker/oSWSmODJ2obebfnq

Please enjoy and, if anything, leave suggestions or share your little creature.

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I am so normal about the fact that Patricia Taxxon is on Tumblr now <- is having a fangirl moment bc I feel like it's so much easier to connect with artists on this app and I really wish I could just. Interact with her idk she's very cool and talented and I love her

[oyasleepy]

u can rlly be anything if you believe in urself

[failsquirrel]

what i do know is that warrior cats does exist because humans brought the books to the new planet to read for fun and they were recovered by cats thousands of years later and some genuinely think of them as ancient religious texts that are stories of the first communities of cats who gained sentience. there is an actual starclan based religion

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

ASL 2000’s AU

I cooked. I hardcore cooked with this.

design commentary:

I loved the 2000's, so this was a real treat to design. I was only cognitive for like a couple years of it but i still remember a lot of the fashion from when it was going on. ESPECIALLLY. the short sleeves over the long sleeve shirts. 2000's loved their layers.

So Luffy was pretty easy to design. He was the first one i designed. i love when theres an easy translation for the Sunny and Merry into AU's.

Ace is very heavily inspired by Avril Lavigne. I was having trouble with designing him, but then Complicated by Avril came on the 2000's playlist i was watching/listening to for inspiration, and suddenly i understood everything. It all made sense to me.

Ace was M A D E for this au. I was thinking that as i was drawing him, but then i realized that Ace literally was made in like 2001 so... yeah. he was made for the 2000's.

Sabo was the last one i finished, i wasnt feeling too inspired with him, but i talked with friends who were more cognitive during that time than I, and one of them provided me a very helpful article about fashion trends at the time that included football and basketball jerseys. I put him into each of those, but none of them fit him quite well. I then put him in a baseball jersey, and although it makes him look the 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉, it fit him best. So i kept it.

I did get to put Usopp in the basketball jersey though so it wasnt all for naught.

Franky's hair was also very easily translated into the 2000's, like every boy had that hair, besides the mullet tail at the bottom but franky's just built different like that.

[targaryenluvs]

— OPPOSITES ATTRACT

pairings: clarisse la rue x aphrodite!daughter!reader (romantic) percy jackson x reader (platonic)

summary: the one where percy jackson has to wrap his head around the fact that the nicest person he’s met at camp, is dating clarisse.

warnings: kinda crack ficy in my opinion, fluff, smooches, capture the flag, reader is percy’s saving grace, percy sees the reader as a sister

a/n: i just got inspired okay? ✊🏽

percy’s feet were booming, heard from afar as he ran to the creek’s shore. the ares trio hot on his tail as they chased him down. he knew he couldn’t run forever, he’d have to fight, but how on earth was he going to win against three trained teens?

as if clarisse wasn’t frightening enough already, her scream sent literal chills down percy’s back, guess she really likes spears? he thought to himself.

the sounds of cheers and celebration drew the pairs attention as luke planted the opposing teams flag into the floor. they’d lost. percy felt clarisse’s grip falter, only slightly, but not when she saw the flag, clarisse’s eyes were currently trained on something behind him. more bullies? “there you are! i was waiting for you, wanted to show you my new and improved skills.”

clarisse let go of him and he couldn’t believe it, the rage in her eyes seemed to dissipate the second you came around. you, the sweetest person he’d met here, were friends with that thing?

that thing was capable of feelings?

his jaw dropped at the sight of clarisse’s hands on your cheeks, listening to you ramble on about who you’d fought and defeated in the woods, the pretty butterfly you’d seen. percy’s eyes were so close to popping out of his skull as clarisse kissed you, deeply. then he wanted to vomit as hands traveled and tongues met.

at dinner that night you sat by luke and chris, happily eating away as your hand rested on a book infront of you. “hey perce! come sit down.” you patted the space next to you as he accepted. “what’re you reading?” percy stared at the cover you’d flipped over to display to him, well he wasn’t expecting that. “where’d you get it from?” you pointed towards your girlfriend proudly, “she said she knew i’d like it, isn’t that sweet?”

percy’s weird version of a smile caused you to frown, “your smile is scaring me.” he immediately dropped it as you laughed, causing him to nudge you. “don’t be rude, i’m just a baby.” percy hadn’t felt so comfortable with someone since his mother. you pinched his cheeks, “naw, yes you are.” he swatted your hands away as you giggled, percy stared at you, studying you.

shining eyes, a beaming smile and an enchanting personality, truly a daughter of aphrodite, yet you dated clarisse. it didn’t make sense in his head, but from what little scenes he’d seen between the two of you, if you were happy than he was too, “what do you see in clarisse? why are you with someone so—” you turned to look his way, percy was worried you’d be offended.

but of course you weren’t, “because i like her percy, and she likes me. she’s absolutely gorgeous, if she wasn’t already a daughter of ares or i didn’t know? for sure aphrodite. and, people are always misunderstood, just because someone seems like a bad person, doesn’t mean they are. when clarisse and i are together, i see the best parts of her, always. i love her regardless, but there’s obviously things that you don’t tell everybody you just meet, or if you aren’t super comfortable with a person then you won’t show all the parts of yourself. i think, when you love someone you accept all parts of them, the good, the bad, the worst. you love someone despite their flaws. clarisse is good to me, and i like her, that’s all that matters. you’ll understand when you find someone yourself perce.”

he sat still, raking over your words in his head, “if one person can feel that way about someone else, they’d explode.” you laughed at his words, he was still young of course, he’d understand soon, you had a feeling. “i’d happily explode because of how much i love her.” you glanced back at her, only she wasn’t there.

“well i don’t want you to explode, i do want to spend my night with you.” clarisse stood behind you with her arms crossed, you could see percy tense up at her presence. with your hand on his, and your eyes reassuring him, he smiled, “i’m happy for you, but if she try’s anything i’m more than happy to beat her ass for you even if i’m broken in half.”

clarisse couldn’t hear his whispers, thank god. your smile was small, placing a hand on his shoulder, you kissed percy’s forehead, “my protector, now no one can try anything with me huh? thank you perce, if you need anything here at camp, or if you just want to talk and eat those blue foods of yours—” his arms wrapped around your neck tightly as you recovered from the force.

“thank you.”

“any day perce, any time.”

and percy sat back, watching the two of you walk away hand in hand. a clear thought rung through his head.

opposites attract.

[sh1-n0bu]

♡︎ 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙖 ♡︎

characters: priest!sub!blade x demon lord!nb!dom!reader

warnings: breeding, creampie, eating out, fingering, squirting, monsterfucking, non-verbal ask of consent, dirty talk, feminization (like literally), lactating, nipple stimulation, overstimulation, dacryphilia, size kink, belly bulge, cervix kissing, blade is a demon hunting priest, reader is a demon lord so they can choose whether to have a cock or pussy so basically genderfluid reader???? also reader changes blade’s anatomy to have a pussy and womb — it’s so messy okay😭😭

word count: 4.4K

notes: you KNOW shit is getting real when nobu starts word count. never thought i would be writing a bit of a dark-ish content yet here we are. the power of the horny😔 also inspired by my chat with one of ririshizu’s bots

special thank you to @theblades and @yenaakwyl for proofreading a whole damn 14 pages of filth

being a priest is no laughing matter. especially when you’re the type of priest that hunts and gets rid of demons who somehow ended up with a demon lord clinging to you, who’s constantly at your side, asking you questions about the human realm.

what was up with you, anyways? a literal demon lord, one of the lords of a deadly sin and yet here you were, dragging him around the streets, pointing at random things, wanting to sample every street food there were. sure, your human form was incredibly deceiving. a short, sweet human, clinging to his arm, excitedly pointing at the many different things that caught your attention. it would be hard for anyone to think of you as a demon lord in disguise.

except for blade. he’s been in this field of work for such a long time. constantly vanquishing demons who either were too annoying or possessed a poor, curious soul. the sharp edge of his shard sword is no laughing matter.

but you didn’t seem to mind. this demon lord, acting like a curious puppy, pulling him to each sides of the streets — ignoring the loud angry shouts of the car drivers and the constantly thinning of his wallet of course. not that blade had much to worry when it came to financial freedom. putting his life on the line and vanquishing demons from the human realm pays a generous amount.

it felt wrong to allow you to cling to him. you, a demon lord, no matter what your disguises meant or whatever pathetic excuse you came up with of wanting to sample human food. he should have gotten rid of you sooner yet no matter how much his hands twitch to unsheathe his shard sword, he just can’t seem to do it. no matter what his threats may seem or be heard of, the priest just can’t bring himself to harm you. if anything, he finds himself doing the absolute opposite, to his blatant horror.

“wait, no, don’t do that. the water just boiled so it’s hot, it could burn your tongue”

“you do realize that ice isn’t meant to be eaten, right? no, i don’t care how much of a pretty shape it’s in or if it still has the aftertaste of the coffee”

“if you eat too much raw red pepper, you could have a heart stroke. 14 is enough on one sitting. give it here”

yes, you get the point. a priest vanquishing demon, living together with a demon lord and even protecting them. hypocritical, right?

one night, as you two were cuddling on the couch and absentmindedly watching cliche horror movies that has demons with red skin and horns and a tail, that reminded something to blade. demons have unique demon forms depending on their sins and ‘birth’. but you never once showed an ounce of your demon form. not even a single slip-up.

“hmm? why do you ask? curious?” you hum softly, taking another fistful of the popcorn in the bowl. not that blade minded. if anything, he unconsciously pushed the bowl of popcorn closer to you.

“i guess so. you never even spoke of your demon form whether it has a tail or not” the priest mumbles, his husky voice turning softer just for a moment. or maybe he was just sleepy, judging by his dark eye-bags and little yawns.

oh right, you never did. but then again, blade never asked of your demon form before so, it’s to be expected after all.

just as blade had shrugged off your silence and turned his attention back to the tv, he felt something slithering around his waist. swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, he briefly looks down at what was wrapping around his waist. there, snug around his hips was a long, pale white, scaled, snake-like tail. it seemed incredibly long, judging by how it easily wrapped around his hips few times and the rest was just dangling off of the side of the couch.

was this…?

he could feel his hand twitch. itching, something under his skin itching of wanting to reach down and run his hand over the smooth looking scales of the tail.

pat! pat pat!

before blade could even make sense of what the fuck he just did, his hand had unconsciously unraveled from it’s former crossed position. one hand going down, flattening his palm over the smooth, large tail before giving it a few pats. at the same time, he could hear another low pat pat! sounds coming from the side of the couch. must be your tail ends flicking and hitting against the couch, he deducted.

briefly, blade steals a glance at your face. still watching the movie on the TV, seemingly paying no mind to the feeling of his human hand resting over your tail. it was oddly warm to the touch. from the look of it resembling a snake like tail, he expected it to be cold.

slowly, he runs his hand over the scales. soft, smooth and easily gliding over them as if it was nothing. sure, some bumps are felt on the palm of his hand but other than the occasional little ridges, it was completely smooth. how… soothing.

blade doesn’t know how or when but over the course of time you spent at his apartment, these little moments of playing with your tail had become a normal occurrence. little moments of “affection” if you will. fridays had become the weekly movie nights. blade would put on some random horror movie that you chose to be the most interesting based on the summary of the movie. half an hour or so into the movie and blade would feel the familiar scales of your tail wrap around his hips.

the priest would sometimes toy with your tail in hopes of getting you to show your true color of being a demon lord. to make you angry. to make you snap and finally show your true colors. if anything, it had the complete opposite effect as your tail only tightened around him. low, deep rumbling sounds akin to a purr coming from the depths of your chest.

briefly, the priest would catch himself wondering how it would feel to lay his head on your chest as you purr. cats have de-stressing and soothing qualities to their purrs. would demons be the same? sometimes, he would even catch himself thinking of… sacrilegious things. like how your tail would feel wrapped around his legs, opening him up for you. how your form could shapeshift and could have a human male’s anatomy. would you purposefully make it big? would you force it past his twitching rim, uncaring of his whines and pleads to wait?

ah, but that sounded so unlike you. despite being a demon lord, you have been nothing but calm and peaceful with blade. soft hums, nods of agreement, always needing his help and inquiring him of his thoughts on something.

then, would you coax him? whispering soft reassurances in the shell of his ear as you softly push your cock inch by inch inside him. a large, clawed, inhuman hand running over his stomach, talking about all sorts of things, promising to breed him full of your seeds as he cries. opening his legs wide with your tail wrapped around his thighs, wiping away his tears as he cries so prettily?

“f-fuck…” unknowingly, blade found himself with a little problem. another movie night, another time spent together ‘cuddling’. yet due to his own thoughts, blade finds himself embarrassingly hard. shit, he needed to find a way to leave the room and take care of his problem. but your tail way starting to curl around him in loops, just like how a snake would wrap itself around it’s prey.

did you know? know of his raging hard on and was just teasing him now? no. taking a brief glance at your face caused blade to come to a conclusion that you didn’t know. yet. that was the biggest part. or maybe you did considering just how your tail was moving around his waist. slipping under the hem of his shirt, slipping up, curling around his body under his shirt. scale coming in contact with skin. blade almost let out a moan at the feeling if it weren’t for him biting down on his lips.

“[n-name], get your tail off. i need to use the bathroom” internally cursing himself out for stuttering, blade can only hope that you would oblige. gods, just the way you let out a soft “hmm?” while playing innocent, smiling at him and blinking like nothing happened while your tail curls around his skin.

fuck, he was done for. you knew. you fucking knew.

“are you sure? your body seems to react positively from the amount of human interaction that i’ve had until now, blade” the end of your tail circles around his peck. slowly trailing the end as if you were going to squeeze—

“n-ngaah?!” a surprised noise comes from the priest’s mouth before he clenches his jaws shut, brows furrowing together as he tries to ignore the feeling on his chest. soft and slow circles. the end of your tail was wrapped around his nipple, pulling and rolling it between as if it was nothing. shit, when did his chest get so sensitive?

“oh that was a cute sound. do it again” you hum, turning away from the TV and looking at him now. curse you for looking so damn interested and curious as your tail fondles his nubs. blade can feel his pants starting to form a wet patch as his breathing becomes more labored.

“t-take… your goddamn tail off. i swear, i’ll ghh—! chop it into pieces…!” despite his best efforts, his words had no bite. just weak mumblings of a pathetic excuse of a priest being turned on as a literal demon lord tugs at his nipple. he was even starting to quietly whine in place as he tries to swallow down his moans.

“say, blade. i read from somewhere that human chest can lactate when stimulated enough. can you lactate?” blade almost shrieked at your words. lactating? him? while it was true that human women can lactate if they gave birth, he was unsure about men being able to lactate.

“n-no! can’t! i’m a man, it’s impossible for my chest to produce mi—ungh!” his words die quickly in his throat when your tail clenched around his nipple tightly. pulling on it, familiar to a pinching motion. since when did his body get so sensitive like this? or was this all your doing? did you secretly put a spell on him to make him sensitive?

“stop..! [n-name] stop ooungh! please, stop! i’m telling you, i’m a man. i can’t lactate like a woman!” his pleads fall on deaf ears as you slip his shirt off over his head. instead this time, using your hands to knead and fondle his pecks. squeezing, rolling his sensitive nubs between your fingers, even tugging on them. it all got blade letting out uncharacteristic high pitched noises like a cat in heat.

“p-please… stop this, [name]..” blade trails off, red in the face, shame, embarrassment and arousal swirling in his stomach like a hot bubbling lava as he admits defeat and whines helplessly.

“then wriggle yourself out of my tail. it’s loose around you, bladie” you briefly retort as you suckle on his nipple. mouth latched to his chest, biting and planting wet kisses all around his soft pink areola. as weak as his whimpers and pathetic his begging were, he really wasn’t making a single attempt to pull back. you have given him enough chances even now as your tail stays loose around him. yet he still tries to act like he hates it.

switching between giving attention to his two nipples with blade not even thinking of pulling himself out of your tail, the movie plays in the background, long forgotten. you were determined to make this weird human of yours lactate. you can make him!

it didn’t took much longer until blade let out a yelp as a warm liquid drops in your mouth. the taste oddly sweet and a bit thick in texture. realizing that his chest was feeling much more heavier and nipples felt more wetter than before, the priest’s eyes widen in horror and arousal. did you really managed to stimulate him enough to make him lactate?

“oh? so, i was right! humans can lactate regardless of their gender” you let out a soft giggle, internally cheering as a bright smile comes across your face. the sheer amount of exuberance you showed in his lactation had caused blade to feebly attempt to cover his chest.

“don’t! don’t look… it’s embarrassing…” the man whines, shaking hands covering up his leaking nubs. but that proves to be futile as his hands covering his chest had caused him to twitch. everything felt so much and so little at the same time. his poor cock was neglected and weeping, staining his pants as you stimulate his nipples as he whines.

this wasn’t supposed to happen! he wasn’t supposed to be this sensitive to your touches.

but the leaking of his milk had seemed to cause something to stir in your chest. an odd sense of possessiveness and need to claim him growing in your heart, tugging at it. laying your palm flat against his stomach, you rub slow circles onto it. somehow, it had helped to lessen blade’s embarrassment.

“bladie, how would you feel if i were to make you my baby momma?” your voice cuts him out of the trance like state he was in. blinking his eyes a few times with a weak “huh?” as if he hadn’t heard you. with a quiet chuckle, you ask again. repeating the question to him slowly in case he was too pleasure driven.

baby momma? but that’s something that people refer to when women get pregnant right? were you referring to making him pregnant? but that was impossible! he was a man and men had different anatomy compared to women’s!

“i can use a few spells. you would have a female anatomy. but only if you wish to be my baby momma. i would take good care of you and the kids, we’d be together as a cute family. don’t you think we’d be a cute family, blade?” he could briefly hear you hum. but the rest of your words flew over his head since the female anatomy part.

a female anatomy. blade would have a pussy, a womb, cervix the perfect anatomy to get pregnant. he would be a cute baby momma. your baby momma. and he would carry your kids. a child who was half you and half him, a cute bundle of sunshine.

“please… please do. make me your baby momma. i wanna be your b-baby momma..!” blade nods frantically, not even bothering to think over the consequences too deeply. but the prospect of having your kids, of having you inside him got blade rubbing his thighs together, head spinning with all sorts of thoughts as his breathing becomes labored. you said you would take good care of him and the kids! he’ll be in good hands.

although a part of his brain was screaming at him, telling him to withdraw from the touch of your palm running over his stomach, changing his insides, blade could only sit there dumbly. a baby. a cute baby that you two made together. it would be so sweet, so cute. blade couldn’t wait any longer as he silences the logical part of his brain. all he wanted was you now. just you and nothing else.

the process didn’t take long. a few strokes of your hand and soothing whispers to his ear and it was done. or at least, from what you said. and oh fuck, was it true. when you tugged his pants and boxers off, what greeted both of your eyes was a slick pussy, dripping with arousal. seeing how you had successfully changed him, the priest lets out a weak whine, closing his legs to hide himself.

you didn’t seem to like that. clicking your teeth as your tail wraps around his leg, pulling his legs apart and allowing your hungry eyes to feast on his dripping cunt. blade couldn’t help his whine as the feeling of being so empty took place in his head. or was it inside his womb that he felt so empty?

“so sweet. you would look so cute with my cum dripping out of you” you mutter, running a finger up his wet pussy. the action got his hips twitching, trying to make you push your finger inside himself. tutting softly, reminding him to be patient, you slowly ease a finger in. oh gods, the stretch felt so good. so full and filled already despite it being just a single finger that was now slowly massaging his plush walls.

the soft whines and gasps coming out of blade turns into a moan as he throws his head back on the couch. long, navy hair spreading over the mattress as your fingers scissor him open. you would have expected him to be more… reclusive considering his usual act. perhaps you were wrong. the way that blade was throwing his head back, moaning without shame as his warm walls suck your fingers in greedily caused you to almost mistaken him for a virgin. or maybe he was just touch starved. poor thing.

cooing words of how he was doing good, how his gushy cunt was sucking in your fingers so prettily, you lean down to pepper kisses on his clit. long, forked tongue coming out momentarily to slip inside him with your fingers, constantly flicking his clit. the action caused to have made him oversensitive. strong, scarred thighs coming up to wrap around your head, a hand fisting at your locks as loud, pathetic whines of “c-can’t! feelss sho weird! [n-name], can’t—gyuuck! aanh aah♡︎!!” trails off into a high pitched whines as his hips jerk. legs clamping around your head in a vice grip, fisting at your locks tightly as his back arches off of the couch so prettily as he squirts in your mouth. ah right, in your own haze, you’ve forgotten and accidentally pushed your tongue in too far, hitting his g-spot.

well, that was fine. the cold priest sounded so cute and tasted delicious as he twitches under you. it would be fine to fuck him open with your tongue and prepare him thoroughly.

blade doesn’t know what to think anymore. was he even able to think? all he could do was to moan and shriek, trashing about on the bed as something deep and long slithers inside him. his cunt was being fucked open, wet sounds coming out as he gushes all over your mouth, tongue and chin. fluids dribbling down to your chin as you continue to force his legs open with your tail, arms wrapped around his waist and pulling him back into your mouth and fingers.

by the time you thought of him as prepped enough and pull your tongue and fingers out, blade could only weakly whine at the feeling of something pulling out of his warm insides. legs shaking, face flushed as dried tear stains cover his cheeks. his pretty red eyes looked so hazy, mind filled with cotton and statics. you haven’t even gotten to the main part yet!

blade feels something wrap around him. something bigger, warmer and gentle. clawed hands wrapping around his slender waist, pulling him against a massive frame. was this… was he on your real form right now?

tilting his head back to look at you, his hunch proves to be correct. no longer were you in your small human disguise. large, pale white figure with horns, tail and claw holding him in a safe cocoon in it’s embrace. despite having deep hatred against your kin, the priest couldn’t bring himself to hate you. instead, he oddly found your real form beautiful.

“huh…?” his thought gets cut off short when he feels something poke at his entrance. looking down, a sharp gasp escapes him. by the gods were you huge. girthy and long, thick with need and ready to fill him to the brim with your seeds. blade wasn’t sure if he could take such a large thing inside himself as he instinctively shut his legs close.

almost as if sensing his inner worries, you place a hand over his stomach, other hand spreading his legs wider to make it easier for you to slip in.

“don’t worry, pet. i’ll make sure it fits” your deeper, almost inhuman voice hums right beside his ear, sending shivers down his spine. although your words were soothing, the large tip of your cock pushing past his walls, opening his cunt wider was definitely not comforting. fuck, just the tip inside and blade was already thrashing about, shaking his head and stuttering out how he can’t fit it inside him.

“w-wait! w-won’t hhgh fit! ish too big! too bigtoobigtoobig—! m-my lo—oough! aanh! ish t-too fu-uck! big♡︎♡︎” the human squeals, cries, sobs and moans. loud lecherous noises coming from both his mouth and cunt. wet noises flooding the room alongside the low grunts and deep growls. you sounded inhumane, you felt inhumane but blade loved it all the more. the priest loved being spread open by your large cock, pushing past his hole, feeling his plushy walls and insides. ah, he could die happily filled to the brim like this.

finally, after long minutes of slowly easing yourself inside, you managed to fit your cock inside him. snug to the brim, tip kissing his cervix and making blade squeal. legs shaking and twitching, he came on your cock again at the feeling of your tip kissing his cervix. he saw that you were big but not this big! gods, he felt so damn full.

“so pretty, my mate. so full of me and i haven’t even fucked you properly yet” you grunt, deep, inhumane voice breathing by his ear and making him shake and twitch in your grasp like a sweet fawn. blade wouldn’t mind being a sacrificial lamb to you.

through tear stained eyes and blurry vision, he could make out the faint outline of your cock in his stomach. you were too big to the point your were causing a bulge inside him by just slipping your cock inside. how full would he feel after you have properly made him a baby momma? cunt weeping out a mixture of your cum, belly bulging so cutely. just the imagination of such action made blade buck his hips weakly. too fucked out to even utter a word.

feeling the pathetic excuse of movement of your cock, you let out a low laugh. tail wrapped around one of his legs, the other held open by your hand as you finally bounce him on your cock. slowly, slipping yourself in and out and yet the priest in your hand was sobbing as he blabbers deliriously about being fucked dumb on your cock. of having your babies inside his own womb. of being your sweet mate.

blade was a big guy. in human terms and physique wise, he was big. and yet in your lap, held open by your hands, back to your chest as he allows himself to be dumbed down on your girth made blade realize just how damn small he was compared to you. sure, he was big in human terms but compared to you, he was absolutely nothing. just a small hole for you to use. a fleshlight to be filled with your cum until you were satisfied. your baby momma to have his chest fondled and squeezed until his chest grows sore and heavy. milk leaking out it small globs from his sensitive pink nipples.

“my pet. my cute mate. my sweet other half. my adorable breeding bitch uhng… so fucking tight. so warm and tight like the cute little thing you are” blade could briefly hear you groan, heavy breaths falling on his neck, making him shiver at each breaths. making him cry and moan in a shrill voice like a girl each time your cock slid inside him. plunging deeper into parts he never knew before, grazing that one soft spot that made him shriek, tip hitting his cervix at each thrust. blade was so sure that it was bruised now. not that he minded it, the pain felt good to him.

“y-yours—! yours yours yours! your c-cute ma—aaanhg! aaanh haagh gyaaamf♡︎ y-your mate. your oouungh other half. y-your adorable♡︎ breeding bitch—!” blade’s mouth fell open in a silent scream, head throwing back to your shoulder when he felt your hand press on the bulge in his stomach. it felt good. so good that he immediately squirted on your cock again at the sheer pleasure the pressure brought.

but of course you wouldn’t stop. you would keep going, forcing his small body to bounce on your cock, occasionally tweaking his nipples, rolling his clit between your fingers. you were damn adamant on making him pregnant, breed him until you were damn sure he was knocked up.

he was yours. your human. your mate. your fated other half. your cute breeding bitch and you would be damned all over again if he ends up not getting pregnant by the time you’re done. blade was yours. no one else would ever take him away from you. no one. no one no one no one, no one else—

“AAANGH! M-MY LORD♡︎ c-cock giick! sho full…” the human shrieks and twitches in your grasp, legs weakly thrashing around as you finally cum deep inside him. the warmth of your seed spurting inside his gummy walls, painting his insides white causing blade to cum again. blade felt so full, the skin of his stomach stretching a bit to accommodate to the great amount of cum that was inside him. it felt so warm and sticky. messy, as it dribbles down your shaft, his small human body unfit to keep it all inside himself.

“my cute mate…” you purr softly, arms wrapping around your mate as he twitches and shakes. cheeks stained with old and new tears, jaws slack with drool dribbling down with his face as red as his eyes. he was yours now. blade was your human now. the weird priest was yours and no one would ever take him away from you.

“mine” with that final declaration, you placed a soft kiss to the crown of his head. he seemed to relax at the kiss, sinking against your chest as he black out. that was fine. you’ll make sure to breed him again once he wakes up.

[rae-writes]

if you could do r trying on a new pheromone perfume and the brothers (separately) are js like 👁️👁️ and suddenly pounces on them and readers js so confused you’d literally be godsent😫

(my inspiration was that one Rafayel scene from lds-)

suggestive || bonus characters bc harem || whether or not Mc knew it was pheromone perfume is up for debate || 1.k wc

Lucifer pauses for a brief second while not faltering in what he was doing, subtly trying to detect the cause of the scent invading every sense of his. He's one of the quickest to figure it out, eyes darkening as he empties his hands before gripping your waist and pulling you as close as physically possible; his face is in your neck before you can even blink and you both stay like that for a moment before he's silently tugging you to wherever he can sit down with you on top of him

Mammon's head snaps up so fast it almost hurts, eyes zeroing in on you. He knows where the scent is coming from, but he just doesn't understand why you suddenly smell even better than usual...he ain't shy as he slides his fingers over your wrist, up your forearm, going until he's caressing the slope of your neck. His breathing is shaky and his voice cracks a little when he whispers how intoxicated you're making him feel. He's got you laid down against the closest flat surface so he can run his hands over you, nose buried against the underside of your jaw as he breathes you in until he's damn near drunk off it

Levi's tail acts faster than he does, curling around your thighs and yanking you closer before he catches up with the action. His embarrassment is cut off when he finally registers the smell, too, and suddenly his face is red for a different reason. He'll fire off a million questions, adding his own jumbled thoughts in between, subconsciously latching every possible limb around you; his face is buried against your chest, fangs accidentally brushing the skin as he stutters out apologies, but doesn't stop

Satan perks up much like a cat, intense blue-green hues staring you down like he's ready to actually pounce. He approaches slowly, trying to figure out the source of your new scent on the way over, but ultimately decides to bury himself against you— your neck, chest, shoulder, nape— breathily asking what you were doing to him. He feels like he's been drugged, almost like a feline with catnip, but it's so dizzily good that he can't complain. Drags you off to where no one will be able to find you, so that your scent won't find anyone but him

Asmo is giddy the second he catches a wiff, easily pinpointing the reason for your scent change, and the exact listing of the brand you used. He's shameless as he requests a thorough product review, rubbing his frame up against yours as he holds you from behind, eyes peering over your shoulder with a bright pink hue. Cheekily insists that you’re better off without so many clothes on, wanting your scent to rub off on him so you can match (and so he can smell it for the rest of the day).

Beel is confused when the food in his mouth isn’t tasting as good as it should. The scent invades his nose, making his eyes search for what has to be a delicious source, only to find you instead of something edible. He’s all over you, mumbling out apologies and that he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, asking won’t you please let him just…be near you? He trails after you like a puppy, not really sure why you’re captivating his entire being with just your smell. His mouth eventually finds your neck, nibbling and sucking as he tries to get a ‘taste’ of that scent.

Belphie, while unwilling to get up out of his spot, is instantly at attention with eyes following you around the room. He’ll whine and complain until he’s got you at his side, trapping you in his arms and against his lounging form. He’s almost tense, as he inhales that new scent, like a ram waiting to charge. His tone is lazy and drawn out, but tinged with a need that he’s confused about, yet so willing to dive into. He’s surrounded by you, literally and figuratively, as he keeps you tight in his arms, not above begging to get his way.

Diavolo is so fucking clueless, wide eyes blinking up at you almost innocently as he asks if you were wearing a new perfume. He finds himself inching closer to you, gaze never leaving your figure for long— a gaze that get darker and more lidded as time passes. He’s still clueless as ever, yet doesn’t mind the mystery since he’s always willing for an excuse to be with you. His cheeks are flushed and his touch a tad hesitant, but it all flies out the window when you allow him to bury his face against your abdomen, kneeling on the floor, letting his mind swim.

Barbatos takes one glance at you after catching on to the scent and knows, but unlike the pudding incident when he fled the scene, he’s coiling you up with his tail and keeping you impossibly close, unwilling to let anyone have you this time. Unabashedly, his nose is trailing along the slope of your neck, lips brushing the skin as he places slow kisses over all the right spots. Whether or not he does or doesn’t have time to spare, he’s whisking you away and trapping you against his frame, almost begging you to let him be selfish and improper as he inhales your scent with an abandon that would usually make him pause; he can forgive himself, if it’s because of you, unwilling to let go of this opportunity at your eager answer of ‘yes’.

Mephisto almost trips as he passes you by in the hallways of RAD, whirling around to gape at you rather dumbly. Stubbornly fights the urge to follow you for all of thirty seconds before he’s trailing after you with urgency. Manages to simply walk alongside you and keep polite small talk just until you’re both out of eyesight, because then he’s pulling you towards him and groaning, asking what the hell you thought you were doing walking around other demons while smelling so good. It’s a struggle to keep a dignified facade when he’s rushing you down the corridor— but once he gets you in a room, it’s all crumbling as he latches his lips to your neck’s pulse point. The Newspaper Club’s office is closed until further notice.

Solomon doesn’t really register the smell at first, both because it’s more subtle for humans, and because he was playing around with various potions— but once he did catch the smell after you’d gotten closer, he’s swiping everything to the side and placing you on the table instead. He is allll over you, not even hiding the flush on his cheeks as he inhales your scent; practically panting in the crook of your neck. Apologizes if you had something planned later, because he’s keeping you for the rest of the day, wanting to experiment with your new perfume. He knows he’s being overly touchy and a…bit desperate, but just indulge in his whims, yeah?

Simeon’s pretty sure that his heart was going to beat straight out of his chest. He couldn’t understand why he felt so warm and fuzzy all the sudden, but had a feeling it was probably because of you (because only you could make him feel this way). Shyly asks if he could sit closer to you, pleasantly surprised when you tug his head to rest in your lap. His fingers lift your shirt up just enough for him to press his nose against a sliver of skin, face buried against your stomach as his hands grip and massage your thighs. Genuinely content to just lay there and let your scent consume him, though he won’t argue if you ask to help him out.

Raphael…thinks he’s sick. Which is odd, because he hasn’t been sick in a few centuries, but then again..you make him feel…odd. Which is why he walked straight up to you and flat out asked if you were doing it on purpose— why did you smell so good? Why was it making him like this?? He’ll have to be guided, your hand leading both of his to your hips, his head tucking into your neck. He’s still confused, but more than willing to investigate. You’re so..enchanting…he can make idle complaints all day long, but he refuses to let go of you now. He likes how it feels. And he likes the way you react to him.

[signedkoko]

Could I get a Mammon, Vox and Husk with a S/O who gets harassed on the street and their reaction? You can have full creative control over what type of harassment!

I love your fics- if this isn’t getting the creative juices flowing just let me know and I’ll request something different <3

🦷 anon

Husk | Mammon | Vox [Romantic]

In which some loathsome idiot thinks they'll get away with harassing their beloved s/o.

One of your favourite date nights is spent bar hopping

Pop a drink or two in each one, sometimes sharing one cocktail, his wing draped around you, your head leant on his shoulder, humming to the music surrounding you

Both of you had a preference for the less popular spots, the kinds of places you got the weirdest combinations, where he could be inspired and you could give him thoughts

The plus side of the smaller joints was that the music was never too loud, drinks were cheaper, and there was always a few spots free at the bar

Downside was that most places had their regulars, the kind of people who couldn't get in anywhere else

The kind of desperation that builds and spreads like mold in the corner of a dark room next to a leaky pipe

On a few occasions, someone would harmlessly ask to buy you a drink and would turn tail when Husk gave them his usually 'fuck off' look

But this time, the guy would just not get the hint

" What? Already claimed dibs on the bitch? "

Yeah- no, that attitude towards you is not going to fly

Not even three seconds and there's a bottle smashed on the drunk demons head, and three cards flying back into Husk's hand

That's when the bleeding starts

You slap a 20 down for your bill and jump straight up, already being dragged by Husk out the door

Insists if he stayed there you would have both gotten banned anyways, and he likes that spot

You guys don't really go out so casually without a good reason, or just for old times sake

A sin and his spouse on a city street in greed was just asking for bad things to happen

But still, if you asked and he had nothing that day, Mammon would always rather get quality time with you and people watch

Thats most of your conversation, pointing out demons and joking about what you think they are like, what the do, how they speak

It's always a fun game, until some newcomer saw you laughing at him and marched right up, clearly on something and clearly ready to have a go at someone

The moment he reaches for your wrist, his thumb falls to the floor, a messy and jagged cut the only sign of attack besides one of Mammons spider legs now revealed

Before he can even realize the pain or what's happened, Mammon lets out a menacing laugh

" Every extra inch towards my broad is another finger. "

That demon was already screaming and running away, most the crowd on the street that was watching now hurrying in any direction opposite of you and Mammon

" I'm only worth one finger? "

" Nah. Just being generous for once. "

Not really a street guy, but unfortunately some press conferences and events require mingling and interacting with others, which he never liked

Thankfully, with you he has an excuse to stay away from others, or show you off

He usually goes for the latter

He's all 'Have you met my wife?' 'My wife loves x and y!' 'Isn't my wife absolutely gorgeous?'

You are the first topic he speaks of after his company; you'd be the first if he didn't have to waste so much time being a salesman, but that is how the cookie crumbles

Sometimes when there's specific press releases, he has to send you off for a moment, where you usually go and mingle with some of the others in his industry you befriended

During one such interview, he couldn't help but spot out the corner of his eye, some lousy business woman drape her arm around your waist and grab at your hip

" Sorry yeah, this interview is over. "

Literally shoves his way over, sparks and electricity flying, to rip you out of her arms

" Baaabe, is this a friend? Whatever the case, we really gotta get going! "

Jealousy 3000

He's glad he stepped in after he overhears that lady had a habit of harassing other attendees

New clause in every interview; they have to include you or provide security over you while he is busy

Author's Note - Tooth anon comes in for another PIPIN HOT request!! I actually feel so bad because every time I take a break form writing is on yoru request and that really makes it look bad I am so sorry 😩

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

God ever since reading A Gilded Cage I cant get the thought out of my head of a part 2 where Reader doesn't see Jason for a few days after the revelation. Like maybe he thinks he's being kind and giving us some time to process, maybe he's on his angst again, or maybe some outside factor has taken his attention so the only time he's able to visit is while we're asleep.

And the whole night of the reveal feels like a fever dream when we wake up but there's a blanket draped over us and a fuzzy little kitten purring up a storm on our chest (in my heart his name is Bean (short for Toebean)), so we're at least kind of sure it happened. But as the time passes with no sign of Jason our certainty begins to wane and until we finally get fed up and write on the notepad the first thing we've asked for since that night: "You."

Or something like that idek okay I've been over here clawing at my walls frothing at the mouth I never really even liked ak!Jason before reading your stuff and now I'm feral for him and its all your fault and I'm not even mad about it

A Glimmering Collar

AKA Part Two of this series. Ahh, nonnie, you literally cooked with this. I love when my fics inspire people enough to keep thinking on them! Seriously, ty for dropping these ideas in my inbox cause I had nothing going on in my brain for a part two initially. Hope you enjoy!

~2.6k words

You wake up to something tickling your nose. Your body feels heavy, your mind even more so. Nothing in you is ready to open your eyes, to face the fact that last night could all have been a dream. That he isn't– that was just a dream.

Something soft flicks your nose again, and you force your eyes open. You blink hard once. Then twice. It's a kitten. It's tiny, and it's sitting by your face. Every few seconds, its tail sways and brushes your nose.

Oh. You sit up slowly, trying not to frighten the small thing. It looks at you contently over its shoulder and meows. The kitten stretches as you stare at it, then plops itself directly on the blanket resting over your lap.

Huh. There's a blanket you definitely don't remember grabbing sprawled over your legs. You carefully reach down to pet the kitten's head. Your heart melts a little when it nuzzles your fingers and purrs.

You look around the room slowly. Nothing else looks different. The notepad is still in place, but the kitten and blanket all point to one thing. Last night was real. Jason is alive. Jason is the Arkham Knight.

You're trying to wrap your brain around that when the door flies open, nearly making you jump out of your skin.

"Good morning!!" A flurry of voice call from the doorway. Your eyes widen as three brightly dressed people strut their way into your apartment, "Are you ready for your shopping trip, hun?"

"My– excuse me?" You stumble out, tucking the kitten to your chest as you stand.

They giggle, and one of them steps forward, "Your shopping trip, sweetie! And spa day, of course. Oh, ha, we haven't even been introduced, have we? I'm Krystal with a K, she's Destini with an i and he's Robbi also with an i."

Robbi huffs and walks up to you to pet your kitten, "Why can't you ever introduce Destini second? She can be Destini also with an i, ya know."

The other girl walks up to you as well and picks affectionately at your clothes, "Because it's alphabetical that way, Robbi. Now you better go get dressed, we have brunch reservations and mimosa plans!"

"I– sorry? What?" You ask, eyes darting between the three of them. Whatever this is, you can't keep up. You've barely processed Jason kidnapped you, and now you're supposed to go get a massage and drinks?

"The boss wants you to go out," a flat voice cuts in. You're the only one that stiffens at the sight of two large men stepping through the door.

Krystal speaks up, "We're here to make sure you have a good time! And Mack and John are here to keep us safe!"

"Mack and John," You echo weakly.

"Your body guards, silly," Destini chirps, ushering you to your room. She plucks the kitten from your hands, "Now get dressed! Wear something nice!"

You stare at the door as she shuts it. What just happened? You hear them chattering happily in the kitchen, idly talking about pregaming your shopping trip.

Your whole mind is a mess, and you sluggishly get ready, thoughts whirling. You've barely talked to soul since you were kidnapped, and now you have five new names to remember, a kitten, and a day out.

You're not exactly sure if you should be unsettled or grateful at how quickly Jason worked to get you what you asked for. By the time you've opened your bedroom door, Krystal, Destini and Robbi are passing around a flask, and playfully trying to get your 'bodyguards' to drink it.

You wonder what they must think of all this. Who they think you are. You're struck with the realization that Jason must be paying them to entertain you today.

You don't get to linger on the thought before Robbi hooked his arm with yours, dragging you towards the door, "Let's gooo, the brunch place we're going to does the best pineapple mimosas. Or cherry, if that's your thing."

"Wait," Mack– or John, you're not exactly sure which one is which– stops you, "Boss wants you to wear this."

The girls and Robbi coo in awe when Mack opens a box, revealing a glittery, jaw-dropping choker. You waver at the sight of it. It's not that it doesn't match what you're wearing. You'd dressed up like Destini suggested, but it feels like some kind of trap.

You reluctantly pick up the necklace, eyeing how it catches the light, "Is it– are sure it's safe to wear this out?" Safety isn't really what you're concerned about at the moment.

You're more worried about the crushing weight that this means more than you understand.

John nods once, "There won't be any problems."

Krystal happily plucks the necklace from your fingers, and before you have time to argue, she drapes the necklace around your throat. "It's beautiful, hun. Just like you. Let's go get you something to eat," her voice is soft, measured, and full of so much understanding it makes you want to cry.

You don't know much they know, but when she hooks her arm with yours to guide you out the door, you have a feeling there's more awareness than their bubbly attitudes let on.

The day ends up being wonderful. Being around people, out under the sun (the sun Gotham does get), was rejuvenating. You had fun, joked, smiled, and for a day, it was almost like you didn't have a prison cell to go back to.

The food was delicious, the spa relaxing, and you didn't have to carry back a single bag. Krystal had flashed a black card at every payment, every place ever could want to shop at, reassuring you it's all been taken care of.

But the time you've collapsed on the couch, exhausted but content, the uneasy feelings from this morning are gone.

You settle on the cushions to wait for Jason. To thank him for listening or to yell at him for still keeping you here, you're not exactly sure yet.

But he doesn't come, you fall asleep in your expensive necklace and pretty clothes with one hand petting your kitten. He doesn't come the next day either, at least not while you're awake, but Krystal, Destini, and Robbi do.

Your friends, the people being paid to entertain you are nice, perfect even. They're exactly what you would have asked for.

Your kitten is perfect too, it cuddles with you at night and nuzzles under your chin after you're left alone, when the unease finds its way back to you.

It's been days since you've seen him. It's starting to feel like a lifetime. You know he comes back after you fall asleep, he moves things. You think it's his way of showing that he listened, that he came back because you asked.

The notepad, the one you haven't written on since that night, shifts closer to you on the glass table if you sleep on the couch.

The glimmering choker gets pulled out of the drawer every time you try to put it away. Your kitten has a growing collection of toys and things to climb on.

It's obvious he's visiting, so why won't he let you see him? Day five of dancing around each other breaks you. You want to see him, want to talk to him, and understand. You want Jason.

Your hand shakes a little, when you go to write on the notepad, and when you wake up the next morning, the paper is blank again.

You wait. You wait some more. All day you wait for him. No one else comes. It's strangely quiet, with just you and your kitten. You've just about given up, collapsed in your bed, when the glowing whites of his helmet catch your attention.

You sit up quickly and throw your legs off the bed as you stare into the doorway, "You came."

"Did you mean it," he asks, any emotion he's feeling hidden by the aggravating modulator.

"Mean what," You question, standing off the bed to walk closer to him, "Will you take the mask off?"

He doesn't move for a moment, just takes in the sight of you. The silence that drags almost makes you regret the question, but he carefully pulls off his helmet, "What you wrote. That you wanted me."

"I– yeah, Jason. I haven't– it's been days since I saw you," You only notice mid sentence that his hand is reaching for your face, it makes your voice waver. "You never answered any of my questions," You finish weakly.

His hand stills and he drops it, "Questions. That's what you wanted?"

You nod a little, searching his face for any hint of what he's feeling, but he gives nothing away.

He sighs softly, and looks away, adjusting his helmet under his arm. You think he might look disappointed, "I can't give you the answers you're looking for."

"Why not," You question softly, worried to push him away.

Jason turns his focus back to you, "I just need you to stay here. Please," he sighs out your name, and his hand twitches as if to touch you, "Don't fight me on this."

"That's not fair," You mumble, "Why am I here, Jason? You know I would have listened if you came to talk to me instead of– this."

Silence falls again, and he steps past you into your room. He sets his helmet on your dresser and picks up the choker resting on the wooden surface, "I wish you would wear this. I picked it out for you."

"Jason," You start, tracking his movements.

"I know," he cuts you off, "but I told you, you don't need to understand anything." You stiffen when he steps back towards you and guides you to turn around.

The air leaves your lungs as his gloves brush over your skin. He sets the necklace around your throat, and even after it rests heavy against your skin, his touch lingers.

"You just need to stay here. It's safe. I've given you everything you've asked for, and everything you haven't," Jason says softly, stepping out from behind you. His gaze lingers on your neck for a moment, and the stifling, unexplainable feeling sets back into your gut.

Your words stick in your throat. There's a sense of danger, one that doesn't make sense. Jason wouldn't hurt you. Not the Jason you know. But is this the Jason you know? The thought makes you want to tear the choker from your skin and throw it at him.

"It feels like a collar," You say quietly, and your breath hitches when his gaze snaps go yours, "I mean, it's pretty. Really. But, it feels– like it's more," You stumble out.

He nods slowly, and he doesn't stop himself from touching you this time. His fingers trace the choker, linger over your collarbones, brush along your pulse, "Maybe it is."

You blink at him, every thought flying from your brain, "What?"

He hums softly, hooking a finger under the shiny jewels to draw you closer, "Does that scare you? Knowing that you can't leave? Knowing that no matter how pretty these are, it's just another way to keep you?"

"You wouldn't hurt me," you say instead, it sounds like you believe it, but you're not sure if you're trying to convince yourself or him.

"I don't want to," He admits, fingers leaving your throat to trail up your jaw, "but I probably could."

"I don't believe that. I remember–" He tuts, tapping your cheek. Your heart drops when you realize he's mirroring where his own brand is.

"I'm not what you remember," he says firmly, before whispering your name, "I'm not that Jason. Not really."

"Then who are you," You ask, even though you don't want to know the answer. You want to pretend he's still something you know.

His eyes dart over your face, then back down to the necklace, "I'm still Jason. But I'm also the Arkham Knight."

"What does that mean," You push, reach up to grab his wrist, demanding his attention, demanding real answers.

"It means that you stay. It means that I give you what you want. Everything and anything except leaving," he says, voice lowering to something kinder, gentler, "it'll make sense eventually. You'll be happy here. Safe."

"Will that make you happy?" You ask, fingers tightening on his wrist. Half of you wants to pull him away, stop him from tracing patterns over your cheek, but the other part of you wants to press his hand closer.

Something flicks in his eyes at your words, "Yes."

"Will it keep you safe?" You murmur, eyes locked on his.

He doesn't answer, clenching and unclenching his jaw for a moment, "Safety is an option I don't have."

"It could be, if you wanted it," You say, dropping his wrist. It must be true. Even with all the secrets he's keeping, his evasive disappearing act, he could take off the armor. Leave behind the new symbol engraved over his chest.

He laughs a little and swipes his thumb under your eye, "I'm glad that you don't understand. It's good, that they didn't twist you into something unrecognizable."

"Understand?" You prompt, unsettled by his laughter.

"That they need to pay. All of them do," he smiles a little, it's a mockery of the one you remember. Jason traces the choker one last time before stepping back.

"You're leaving," You say, not a question, a statement of fact. He's leaving, without explaining anything again.

"I am," he affirms, moving to grab his helmet.

"I want you to stay," You breathe out and he freezes in place.

He exhales softly and faces you again, "You don't know what you're asking."

"I do. I want you to stay," You repeat, reaching out to push his helmet back towards the dresser.

"And then what?" He asks lowly, a warning, "What do you expect to happen?"

It makes you waver, "I– I don't know. But it's what I want."

It's another long moment of nothing before he answers, gesturing towards the bed, "Go to sleep."

"You'll stay?"

He nods at your question, unceremoniously dragging the chair from your desk to your bedside.

"Is that going to be comfortable–" You begin, settling yourself in the bed.

"You're overthinking it," he mumbles, waving at you to lay down. You do, watching as your kitten jumps into his lap, curling up like this is something that happens all the time. (You have the feeling it is) "Have you named him," he asks quietly.

"The kitten? Mm, no. Wanted you to," You say softly, carefully not to unsettle either of them.

"I wouldn't be good at it," Jason protests, eyes flicking between you and the kitten.

"I don't mind," You murmur, "anything's better than 'kitten'."

He pauses, so quiet and still you think he won't answer, "Bean," he mumbles, reluctant as the newly appointed Bean cuddles into his armor.

You smile, "Bean's a good name."

He doesn't answer, seemingly engrossed with watching the kitten.

You take him in for another moment, memorizing his face before closing your eyes. It's not an accident that you leave your palm open and face up by the side of the bed.

There's no more pleasantries exchanged, no sweet goodnights or the gentle touches against your face you've grown used to. But just as you finally start to drift off, as darkness finally draws you to rest, a warm, rough hand weaves itself into yours and squeezes.

Part Three

[jjunieworld]

UNDER THE CHERRY BLOSSOM TREE ˒˒ 최범규

it’s confession day and you want nothing more than to receive a confession from your longtime friend, beomgyu.

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ choi beomgyu x fem!reader 𓄷 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 yeonjun, soobin, and yeji from itzy

genre﹙📄﹚⸝⸝⸝ toothrotting fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pining but you both are oblivious, highschool au ???

kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ literally watched beomgyu’s cover and music video and was struck by sudden inspiration and motivation and i just had to write something based off it! ❀ so here is a super cute little drabble in honor of beomgyu’s cover, i hope you enjoy!! all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡

∿ [ 1.7k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]

today was a day you both loved and absolutely hated—confession day. the day where you confess your feelings to the one who you like most.

the hallways were giddy with excitement and you couldn’t help being lured to the feeling. everyone was alight with what the day could possibly behold. as you made your way to your locker to put your bag away, you heard various snippets of conversations:

“i���m scared to open my locker! what if there isn’t any note inside?” “—and he wrote for me to meet him on the football field after school!” “who do you think yeonjun will confess to? i heard from hana that he was eying her, but mina said the same thing!” “well i heard hana say that jake was going to confess to her today on the rooftop!” “—to meet near the school gates!”

a soft smile made its way onto your lips. confession day—at least the start of it—was always one that made you happy inside. you loved seeing other people finally confess their feelings to to each other. it was also fun for you and your friends to make bets on who would confess to who.

just as you reached for the lock of your locker, you friend yeji ran up to you with a thrilled expression, her black hair flying into her face as she came to a sudden stop. “it’s confession day!” she squealed repeatedly, brushing her hair out of her face and linking her arm with yours once you got your books out. “who do you think will confess to who later today?”

“apparently hana has many suitors,” you shrugged and the two of you giggled slightly as you walked the halls slowly to your homeroom. suddenly yeji turned to you, a playful grin lighting up her face with a scrunched nose. oh god, you thought, what is she about to say?

she tickled your side, making you squirm away with a laugh. “do you think beomgyu is going to confess to you today?” she asked. you swatted her hand away, heat creeping up your neck as you looked forward to try and hide how flustered the question made you. you shrugged again, hopeful smile curling your lips.

beomgyu sat at his desk surrounded by his two friends, yeonjun and soobin. he shifted a sealed envelope from hand to hand, “to y/n” written on it. the red striped tie and dark blue blazer of his uniform suddenly seemed so constricting. “—and tell me exactly what you wrote in the letter,” he heard the tail end of yeonjun’s sentence.

beomgyu had already told soobin just minutes prior and he sighed softly as he dragged his eyes up from the letter. nerves flowed through him as he recounted the letter again for yeonjun.

dear, y/n

would you meet me under the cherry blossom tree by the train tracks after school?

beomgyu

it was a very simple letter, really. beomgyu had wanted to give his confession in person to you rather than through a letter or any other means. yeonjun’s face contorted in thought. “maybe spice it up a little?” he suggested.

“i like it. it’s simple and right to the point. besides, he said he wants to confess in person,” soobin cut in before beomgyu could. yeonjun hummed before nodding slowly. “i guess it could work!”

just as yeonjun finished talking, the homeroom door opened. you and your friend—yeji, who he’s come to know of—stepped through; arms linked as you leaned into each other to whisper something he couldn’t hear. a low laugh emitted from you and beomgyu swore it was the prettiest, most melodic thing he has ever heard.

the sunlight from the open blinds of the classroom cascaded down onto your frame, illuminating you like you were on a stage. beomgyu just couldn’t believe how pretty you were. your eyes connected with his, that bright smile of yours still on your face, and you waved your hand slightly to wave at him. your bright smile turned sheepish as you quickly looked away and you and yeji made it to your seats.

from just one look, beomgyu could practically see your future together. he wanted to be yours and you to be his so desperately. he wanted to do simple day to day activities with you, like helping you with homework and putting your books into your locker. he wanted to take you to the movies and talk about what you decided to see and walk you home after, fingers just barely brushing past each other. you were just so cute.

“look at him, there’s literally hearts in his eyes,” beomgyu distantly heard yeonjun say. his eyes were still on you until fingers snapped in his face, startling him back to reality. soobin pulled back his arm with a laugh and beomgyu rolled his eyes. he glanced back to you briefly, small smile forming on his face before returning his attention back to his friends.

beomgyu looked down again at the letter in his hands. he had meant to put it in your locker this morning before you arrived, but chickened out at the last second. that’s why he was here, enlisting the help of his two idiot bestfriends to ensure everything goes off without a hitch.

soobin laid a hand on beomgyu’s shoulder and patted it comfortingly, “you got this, man! it’s so obvious that the two of you like each other!” yeonjun nodded in agreement. beomgyu sighed and tucked the letter under his books. he hesitantly let their words fill him with confidence and hope. i really hope she does, he thought.

you turned slightly and looked over your shoulder, just barely catching a glimpse of beomgyu. you turned back towards yeji with a lovesick smile. “it’ll happen, don’t worry! it’s so obvious that the two of you like each other!” yeji comforted you. you just sighed and directed the conversation to a different topic. i really hope he does, you thought.

when you were grabbing your bag from your locker, mid conversation with yeji, a small white envelope fluttered to the ground at your feet. yeji gasped as you bent to pick it up with wide eyes. yeji drew closer to you, hiding the letter from the view of the other students making their way towards the entrance of the school. “open it, open it!” she exclaimed.

with a deep breath you carefully opened the envelope that had “to y/n” written on it in familiar handwriting. carefully you opened up the delicate letter and read the contents, yeji beside you taking in every word as well. you froze in shock for a split second before a wide smile broke out onto your face and it took everything in you to keep from jumping up and down.

“he wants me to meet him under the cherry blossom tree by the train tracks…” you breathed lowly, shock still reeling you. you repeated yourself, each word getting louder as you turned and grasped yeji’s hands with excitement and almost crinkling the letter, “he wants me to meet him under the cherry blossom tree by the train tracks!”

you had gathered the attention of the students walking by and heat suddenly spread across your face and immediately calmed you down. unfortunately, just as you shrunk into your locker, your eyes briefly connected with beomgyu’s bestfriend and resident golden boy of your school—choi yeonjun.

he looked in your direction and you just barely managed to catch the smile he gave to beomgyu’s other bestfriend—choi soobin—and the words forming from his lips.

your grip on yeji’s hands tightened as you quickly pulled her towards the girls restroom. “oh my god!” she exclaimed and began jumping the two of you up and down. excited giggles left both of your lips and echoed off the walls of the restroom.

“oh my god,” yeji repeated, suddenly serious. “he means meet him now. you have to go, like, right now!” worry suddenly broke through all your emotions at the possibility of beomgyu thinking that you wouldn’t show. yeji started pushing you towards the door of the restroom.

“oh my god!” you worriedly repeated yeji’s words. in response, all she repeated was, “go, go, go!”

you booked it out of the restroom and out of the school, running all the way until you saw the familiar cherry blossom tree down the hill in front of where the school sat. distantly, you saw beomgyu’s figure waiting for you and you inhaled deeply as you made slow strides towards him. you held the letter close to your heart and tried to control your nerves the closer and closer you got to the tree.

at your incoming footsteps, beomgyu turned to you and you gasped softly and how beautiful he was. a flustered—and somewhat sheepish—smile spread across your face and you stepped just mere inches from where he stood. “i got your letter,” you said as you looked up into his eyes.

the falling cherry blossoms around beomgyu’s head and soft afternoon light framed him perfectly and it made you wonder just how lucky you were that you were the one he chose to confess to.

beomgyu opened his mouth, only to close it and have a matching sheepish smile overtake it. just as he went to open it again, a cherry blossom fell onto his head, caught in the dark strands of his hair. he looked up, just as you did as well, and you both chuckled. “can we start seeing each other?” beomgyu ask you quietly, plucking the flower from his hair and holding it out to you.

if it were even possible, your smile widened and you accepted the outstretched flower. from the corner of your eye saw yeji, yeonjun, and soobin huddle together behind a bush directly across from the two of you. yeji nudged them out of the way to get a good look but accidentally ruffled some of the leaves of the bush. you saw the three of them drop down quick as lightning behind the bush before you or beomgyu could see them.

you nodded and softly spoke, “i would really like that.” a toothy grin spread on beomgyu’s lips. finally, the one he adored the most was his.

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[halaboyz]

goodnight, dear. — psh

pairing: non-idol! park sunghoon x fem! reader genre: ANGST word count: 16.5k warnings: profanities. reader has illness. simple medical jargons. medical inaccuracies. major character death.

notes: inspired by two filipino books entitled "seven days with miss stalker" written by dara nakahara and "she's dating the gangster" by bianca bernardino.; reader is part of a religion; not discussed, only said for prayers and for giving thanks a/n: ever so dedicated to my now-inactive moot @junjungsunwoo yena <3 it was supposedly part of a collab which was posponed because we all went on a hiatus but! i proceeded with it <3 i love and appreciate all of you <3 tag: @kflixnet

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

summary: befriending the ice prince of your school in the middle of the semester abruptly was something you'd never do. so it takes a little bit of life and time before you do, then bravely asking him to date you for a month. that's all- and you promised you'll leave him alone. 

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ 。 listen now to: spotify. 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

D-105.

Just like usual, you head to your seat at the corner of the cafeteria, munching quietly on your brunch beside your best friend. 

“He’s coming!” Both  of you hear a screech and continuous cheers as a huge crowd of girls run outside, candies, chocolates, and sweet things in their hands as they welcome the ice king of your campus. “Sunghoon!” Park Sunghoon. “Sunghoon, you must be sad. Take this! It will help cheer you up!” A girl stands out from the rest, almost shoving the lollipop on Sunghoon’s face. 

He does nothing but continue walking, tailed by his friends with a chuckle that gethered their own small batch of fangirls. 

“Pathetic.” Seol-in mutters beside you, shaking her head. You immediately look at her with a glare, “Oops.” She chuckles, raising her arms in defense. “Forgot I have another fan here.” 

“To say I’m a fan is too much. I only like him.” You mutter, taking your eyes off of him after a few seconds. And then glancing again. Which made Seol-in chuckle.

“Yeah. That’s what fans do. Like a person.” She explains sarcastically, making you roll your eyes. 

“Then I’m not that obsessed.” You point at the group of girls, “I have my respect and dignity for myself intact to do that. Much more when he’s fresh out of a break up.” 

Seol-in stops eating and perks up when she hears you explain, eyebrows meeting in the middle and slowly turning to look you in the eyes.

“And how do you know that Miss ‘I’m not a fan’?” A smirk was drawn on her lips which made you cough, not meeting her eyes. 

“Just here and there.” 

“Hmm. Here and there. Don’t you think if it was here and there, I would’ve known?” Seol-in raises her brows and taps on the table, knowing that it was going to make you more irritable since it was your ick.

“Fine! Sunghoon posted a story on Instagram with a picture of him partying with a caption ‘single again!’ Are you satisfied?!” You unintentionally burst out,  glaring at Seol-in who was now tight-lipped. 

Quite literally. Lips pressed together, she motions you to not look back but stupidity got the best of you that you understood it as turn around. And so you do.

Sunghoon, standing with his tray of food in hand, was looking down at you. 

“So much for broadcasting my love life status,” Sunghoon deadpans, before moving on to sit on the table next to yours. 

It makes you internally shake your head and curse yourself, turning back to face your own food in shame as you hear relentless mocking of his fans. 

“Not like he didn’t post a story captioned ‘I’m single and ready to mingle again!’” Seol-in defended you, shamelessly scaring his fans off with a thugged appearance. You nudge her, making her stop. 

It was just another day of being you. 

D-104.

“Code Blue, Code Blue! Room 316, Female, 21 years old. Code Blue, Code Blue! Room 316, Female, 21 years old…” You hear the speakers call out as everything follows is a slur, your eyes blurring as you struggle to keep sane. You don’t even feel like you were breathing. Were you? All you felt was pain. Excruciating pain the first few minutes and then you were numb. You were numb when nurses and doctors jumped restlessly on you to perform chest compressions. 

It only felt like yesterday when you were quietly sitting on all of your classes, 

It was only yesterday.

“Did you do anything that tired you out? How come you let it get this bad?” The familiar doctor you’d been seeing since you were a kid nags, shaking his head at you. 

“I didn’t.” You retort immediately, regretting it as the sudden jump made your chest tighten, making you grab it. Your doctor assists you back into your bed, snickering at you. 

“Well then, did you watch a sad movie? Felt too happy? Felt too excited? Surprised?” When the temporary pain slowly disappears, you avoid the doctor’s eyes as you mumble a small ‘no.’ “Y/n… We’ve talked about this…” 

“Am I not a person? Why am I not able to feel things as I want to?” You pout, but it was the same line you’ve always said since you were also a kid. And also, the very first question you’ve asked your doctor. When you catch a glimpse of his apologetic eyes, you grow uncomfortable. “I was kidding. I get it.” 

Your dad was watching you from afar, picking on his nails and was still until the doctor called him in. 

“Can I talk to you alone for a sec?” The doctor signals to your father, urging privacy which makes you curious. 

“I’m an adult,” You open, suddenly growing anxious at how your father and the doctor shared gazes. “Please say it in front of me,” 

D-101. 

As the clock strikes 12, you swallow the lump on your throat as the doctor clears his, asking your dad for one last confirmation before he drops the news. 

“As you can see, y/n is neither getting stable or better,” The doctor drops his head, unwilling to see your father’s heartbroken eyes and yours. “...only worse,” 

You heave a deep sigh, balancing your emotions out so as to not feel too sad about this and not to dwell on what’s to come next.

“Y/n… Doesn’t have much time left,” And there comes the shock. Maybe you shouldn’t have really known. If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t be too anxious about living just another day. Your dad weeps, holding your hand desperately as you both feel the world fall on you. “I’d say three months… or less,” The doctor falls his head in shame, pressing his lips together and avoiding both of your eyes. 

D-97. 

“You really want to do this?” Your father asks, bringing your bag to you. “Y/n… You don’t need to. We can travel where you want, eat what you want and do whatever you want.”

“Dad… I’d rather live with the time I have left as a normal person, as I had always done. Wherein I have to go to school on dreaded Mondays, feel happy it’s Friday, and enjoy my Saturdays with my friends or with you, along with Sundays. I’d be thankful to even have that, Dad.” You smile, holding your Dad’s shoulders and pulling him to a hug. “Thank you, Dad.” 

Your father holds his tears and proudly stands his guards on you. Nodding as he arranges your collar back into place and letting you go your way after a few sermons. 

“Y/n!” Seol-in welcomes you with open arms, snot running down her nose and tears out of her eyes. “Are you okay? Why did you even come here?!” She squeezes you into a hug, making you squirm and chuckle. 

“Hey, don’t be so dramatic now. As you can see, I’m okay. I’m good, I’m fine.” You explain, hitting your limbs to show her that you’re indeed thriving. 

She whines and pulls you into a hug again, and you just let her until she’s calmed down, walking to your first class.

“So, what did the doctor say?” 

“Hmm,” You hesitate, thinking whether to break the news or not. You opted it wasn’t the right setting. “Nothing new. I just had a burst out that’s why I had the attack. Sorry for worrying you,” You pout, clinging to her arm and changing to another topic as you found available seats.

She assures you and swears to look after you better as you wait for the class to start, your eyes roaming around to take in the sight. You act like it’s your last day. You wish you could be here for much longer. But you know you’d be taken any time from now on. 

Your breath stops exaggeratedly when you realize the available seat next to you was pulled to reveal Sunghoon sitting next to you uninterestedly, not batting you an eye. Seol-in nudges you knowing perfectly well how you’re not managing.

“Deep breaths, y/n! Control your heart!” Seol-in lightheartedly whispers, rubbing your back. You lean back at your seat to get a glance at Sunghoon, who only had eyes on his phone. You breathe through pursed lips, rubbing your chest as if it made a difference on your abnormally beating heart.

It’s just sitting next to you, what’s the big point?

See, the big point is, through the years you’d been blockmates with this man, fate had never ever brought you near each other even if you were given the smallest classrooms. So it was indeed a big deal that someone you’ve liked throughout the years was now beside you. 

Say, you’d be brazen enough to even claim this as a sign to finally get to talk to him. You’d always been the ambivert, so this time, it was time to bring out your extrovert-ness just to get close to him. 

Not going to hurt to try, eh?

“Hi Sunghoon,” You smile, fully facing him as you put your chin on your palm to lean on the table. He curiously, confusedly gives you a glance, blinking at you. “You look good today,” Your confidence was also a great shock to you, knowing full well that if it was the last-week-you that was in this situation, you wouldn’t have uttered even one word.  

“Y/n, you’re creeping me out.” Sunghoon mumbles, scooting away from you. You chuckle, shaking your hands before him.

“Sorry, I just wanted you to know.” Seol-in watches in horror, just as confused as Sunghoon. You fumble back on your seat after that, smiling at Seol-in and even chuckling at yourself for your unpredictableness. You think that was enough for today.

At least, if it were your last, you had the opportunity to make him feel appreciated in the most weird way, at a random time possible. 

Because come on, fuck it! Where your tomorrow isn’t even guaranteed, what more could you lose than regret?

D-94.

“Your partners are revealed in our respective group chats, so start immediately,” Your professor leaves after her last remarks, and all of you start to check your phones for your partners. You hear grunts and cheers, and as for you…

“Oh yeah!” You growl, raising your fist in the air as if you’ve just won the lottery. Everyone stops and grows quiet, looking at you horridly. “Oops, sorry.” You smile, your eyes searching for that one guy you heard grunting a while ago. “...Park Sunghoon!” You coo, making your way towards him cheekily. 

Sunghoon just looks in confusion, weirded out by how you were acting since two days ago. “Are you possessed? What is up to you these days? We’re never really close and talked so…” His face said it all, he was confused to his bones. 

“Is it bad that I wanted to be friends with you?” You invite yourself to the seat next to him, plopping. “It’s our last year in college, I want to be close to everyone!” 

“After all these years? How about no?” Sunghoon again, scoots further from you and starts skimming through his book, trying to get the project over with just ten minutes in from the second he read the instructions. 

“No? You don’t want to be friends?” You pout, confidence significantly decreasing… and increasing with your idea.

“Hmm, I don’t want to. So don’t waste your time,” Sunghoon sighs and continues with his work.

“If you don’t want to…” You mumble… scooting closer and in front of him to cover the book with your palm, getting his attention. You give him the cheekiest smile you can give, “Then do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

D-90.

“Then just give me one month! Be my boyfriend for a month! That’s it and I wouldn’t even go five meters close to a piece of your hair!” You argue, as if your deal offer was making sense. It had been one week since you have been offering a deal to Sunghoon, and not much like the first time he heard it– where his jaw dropped and sneered at you as if you had just lost your mind. Now, where you sit confidently against him as he quietly has his lunch, he doesn’t even spare you and your bullshit a glance. “Park Sunghoon!” You whine, throwing a fit. It gains a lot of attention including his fangirls who you genuinely heard growling, which made you fake a cough and glare at him. “I’m not done with you just yet,” You drop your hand on the table, making him groan and roll his eyes.

Seol-in watches how you trudge back to your shared table, scratching her head.

“Hey y/n, have you really really lost your mind?” She asks with such genuine voice and concern, grabbing your hand. “Why the hell are you asking Park Sunghoon out for a week already? That’s not you,” 

“It’s definitely me, Seol-in.” You chuckle, patting her hand. “And what’s so wrong about a girl asking a man out? Stop being prejudiced!” You take a spoonful of your food, watching Seol-in. “Just eat already,” 

“I just don’t get it. There’s something wrong,” She shakes her head but leaves it to you, knowing full well you know what you’re doing. “But no!” She exclaims, making you jump. “Just last week we were talking about how you’re not even that obsessed and how you’re so defensive about being one of his fangirls!” 

“But I did admit that I liked him,” You chuckle, proving your point.

“But! I don’t think it was enough that you ask him out! Above all that, when he’s fresh out of a break up!” You stop, letting Seol-in’s words sink in. She was right. Sunghoon was fresh out of a break up and you just had to add up to the girls jumping in on him. 

“Ah, I don’t know! I’ll do whatever,” You shake it off, continuing to munch on your food as Seol-in continues to berate you. 

D-80. 

“Sunghoon, I’m not saying this because I have a big self-esteem and ego but, I don’t think you notice this.” You flip your hair exaggeratedly, even though he wasn’t looking at you. You were at a quiet corner in the library, allegedly working on your project. “...but I’m a really good pick!” Sunghoon snorts and finally looks at you in amusement, and you straighten your posture as if you were in an interview.

“You? A good pick?” Sunghoon repeats, and you nod.

“I really am! I’m pretty, I have my acads with straight A’s, I have a good relationship with my family! What more can you ask for?” You arrogantly list out your pros, crossing your arms right after. 

“And your cons?” Sunghoon mimics your movement, as if trying to challenge you. 

“I don’t have one.” You avoid his eyes for a second, because if you listed that out too, it will outnumber your pros. “So please give me one month of your life,” You exaggerate, begging as you rub your palms together in front of him. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“I’m completely being sincere and serious, though.” You were close to whining once again, flapping your arms around. 

“You don’t look like it,” Sunghoon sighs and gets back to your project, possessing a small smirk that ticked you off. 

“Come on, Park Sunghoon!” 

“Y/n.” Sunghoon sternly stops your whining, looking straight into your eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but please don’t take it out on me. I’m not interested. If you keep doing this, it will grow on me that you’re taking advantage of my vulnerability since I was just out of a relationship and I don’t want to think that of you,” He explains with such a solemn face that you grow embarrassed of your actions immediately, shrinking on your seat. “I’m sorry but can we please proceed to the project now?” 

You harbor a pout and unintentionally have it until you were done, cleaning your things up. 

“Can you stay here for a bit? I’ll just go get something.” You leave Sunghoon before he could even say something, leaving your  things to assure him you were coming back. You only grab your phone and wallet, traveling to the closest cafe. When you travel back to the library, you catch a glimpse of Sunghoon through the large windows, legs impatiently bouncing as he looks around for you. 

“Okay. If he’s not for me then he’s not for me.” You mumble, sighing and proceeding to jog inside the library and go straight to the table. You put the cup of drink and slide it across the table, nodding at him. “Iced vanilla latte. Your favorite right? I’ve seen you order these a lot,” You heave a deep sigh. He raises an eyebrow before he takes it, “That’s not a bribe. That’s an apology gift.” Sunghoon takes a sip and confusingly looks up to you, “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention at all.” 

“Y/n,” Sunghoon starts but you cut him off with a pat on the shoulder, giving him a tight lipped smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Get home safely!” You get your things quickly and wave goodbye, getting your things and not giving him a chance to talk. 

Leaving Sunghoon with a bitter taste in his mouth and it’s definitely not because of the coffee.

D-76.

“Oh y/n, good thing you’re here,” Sunghoon starts, wanting to talk the heavy feeling in his chest out since the library incident. 

“Sunghoon! Don’t worry about it, I’ve finished everything on the project! We can pass it later already,” 

“That’s not it,” Sunghoon stops you by the arm but you look at your watch as if you were in a rush.

“Sorry, but I have to run. You can text me if you see any mistakes on my part, I’ll correct it immediately.” You apologize and Sunghoon lets you go and nods at you, thinking it wasn’t the right time yet to apologize if he had offended you. 

Sunghoon has been bearing it in his chest and mind that he shouldn’t have put you out like that, blaming his stress that was on its peak that day.

Heeseung chuckles as he looks at Sunghoon’s eyes which never leave your figure until it completely disappears, but having to opt not to say anything about it first.

D-72.

“Y/n!” Sunghoon shouts through the hallway, making you stop and hide your face. “Y/n!” He repeats, and you hear him run to chase you. You sigh, deciding to just face him instead. 

“Oh, Sunghoon,” You smile, turning to face him. “Do you need something?” Knowing you’ve completed your project with him and nothing more, so it was a given that you’re confused. He had clear intentions he didn’t want to be friends, so why does he keep chasing you down everywhere you go?

“Are you free for lunch?” He fumbles with the books in his hand, avoiding your eyes.

“I was going to go with Seol-in, as always,” You chuckle, “Why? Did we need to revise something in the project?” 

“Ah… no. But can we talk for a minute, then?” He lets out a small sigh,  hands already asking you to follow him in a space where nobody was. You nod hesitantly, just following him then.

“What is it? You sound serious,” You follow him to your now empty classroom, sitting on the seat out front. He leans on the table in front of it, and heaves another sigh. 

“I was trying to get a hold of you the past few days but you’ve been busy,” He finally lets out a chuckle, nodding at you. “I wanted to apologize about what I said in the library that time. I was out of line,” He admits his wrong immediately, smiling at you. 

You finally let out a sigh of relief, now knowing what was on his mind. 

“Sunghoon, why are you apologizing for that? I should be. I was the one out of line.” You assure him, shaking your hands in his face. “Do you know how I’ll feel if you apologize for something I did?” 

“No, no. It was just weighing my mind and I didn’t want you to think that I thought bad of you. You said that your intentions weren’t that so maybe I went off the wrong way how I said it.” He holds your hand to stop you from shaking it in front of him, feeling his warmth engulf your hands.

“Fine, fine. Then we’re even already. That will do it, won't it?” You smile at him, craning your neck until you get an answer for him. 

“I owe you a coffee. I’ll treat you next time,” He pats your hand, smiling back at you. 

“I don’t drink coffee, so there’s no need. Let’s just eat lunch and leave all this in the past, alright?” You realize he’s still holding your hand which makes you slowly take yours back, smiling and patting his shoulder once again. “Let’s go?” 

D-70. 

Sunghoon’s curiosity towards you grew and grew the moment your interactions blew less and less, only decreasing to hi’s and hello’s and his days were a lot bland without your yapping and blabbering. Even though you had only done this for a week, it had grown on him especially because you weren’t initially close at all. 

“Why does my friend look especially troubled today?” Heeseung drops his body towards the man, plopping beside him on the bean bag. “Something bothering you?”

“I don't think so,” But Sunghoon keeps on staring afar, unbothered to look at his concerned friend. 

Which is giving him a stink eye now.

“You know what, fine, don't tell me. Mister I keep everything to myself because I’m a cool guy and cool guys don't have problems,” Heeseung nags, mocking Sunghoon’s usual deadpanned face with a sneer. 

Sunghoon chuckles lowly and sighs, shaking his head at Heeseung.

“I’m just confused. That’s all.” He explains, making Heeseung look back at him in anticipation. A few quiet seconds pass and Heeseung sighs in frustration, throwing the pillow in Sunghoon’s chest.

“Oh come on! That’s it?! Tell me everything! You’re driving me crazy!” 

“What…” Sunghoon mumbles with a chuckle, looking at Heeseung losing his mind as he flaps his limbs around. “Okay, okay.” He deeply sighs again, playing with his fingers. “It’s about y/n.” 

“Finally! Wait, what?” Heeseung internally screams, but displays a face of confusion, raising his eyebrows at Sunghoon. “You’ve finally gotten rid of her within a week, what do you mean when you say it’s about y/n and that you’re confused?” 

Sunghoon clicks his tongue and props himself to look at Heeseung face to face, showing seriousness and his determined face to understand every bit of what he’s feeling now. 

“Exactly.” Sunghoon nods at Heeseung as if he’s waiting for an answer, and when he gets nothing, he nods again for Heeseung’s confirmation. 

“What do you want me to say, dumbass?” He throws a pillow right through Sunghoon’s head, and as he’d like to describe, so fucking frustrated.

“Stop hitting me! And I don’t know! That’s why I’m confused!” Sunghoon, also frustrated, has laid out his empty hands to Heeseung to show he’s got nothing to offer than that.

“I ought to just smack you in the fucking face, really.” Heeseung suppresses his annoyance and just massages his temples, rolling his eyes so hard he saw the back of his head. “Tell me something so I can say something too, you know,” 

“I just… I don’t know, Seung. I think it’s my fault too.” Sunghoon explains, “Just a few weeks ago, we started talking because of that damned project. Not even one week  in and she asks me to be his boyfriend. I decline. Also becoming her friend. And then I shoot her something offensive and air shifts and then suddenly she’s not talking to me anymore that much and I apologize and I don’t know, we’re friends?” He rambles on, and it takes a little more patience out of Heeseung to not pull his hair out. 

“So, what the fuck’s confusing?” Heeseung asks through gritted teeth. Admit it, dumbo! He thinks.

“Are we friends or not? Am I allowed to keep it casual and talk about random things with her or am I just supposed to smile and greet and walk off? That’s confusing.” As if a light bulb has just turned on inside his head, Sunghoon perks at the clear question that’s been allegedly bugging him. 

But on the other hand, oh he’s stupid-stupid. Heeseung thinks.

“Didn’t you decide to put it behind you? Then you could answer the question yourself, Hoon! You could come up to her casually and just whatever,” Heeseung still gives him a light piece of advice, knowing it’s not the right time to put mind into Sunghoon’s actions. 

“Maybe, I guess.” Sunghoon hesitantly nods, finally letting peace take over his mind and say fuck it. 

D-68.

“Seol-in, do you know what time Physics starts?” You randomly ask, at a random time in the middle of the day, in the middle of a random lunch, at a random table. 

“In twenty minutes,” A manly voice took over your random conversation, making you look up. You see Sunghoon and Heeseung gently placing their trays of food beside you and Seol-in, scrunching your forehead in confusion. “Sorry, were the seats taken?” 

“Absolutely not,” Seol-in answers, cheeks full of food but harboring the same expression as you. The two men nod and sit, starting with their food. She kicks your shin lightly below the table and as you shake your shoulders lightly, you just decide to continue with your food in silence.

“I’m sorry, did we scare you?” Heeseung chuckles, glancing at you. He was sitting diagonally in front of you, beside Seol-in. 

“Oh, no. You’re cool,” You chuckle as well and shake your hands in front of you, finishing your food just as they did. Sunghoon glances weirdly at you, seeing how well you blend in with people you don’t even really talk to, just like with him. “Were we weird?” You carry on with the conversation, eyes staying at Heeseung only. 

“We definitely felt your eyes on us,” Heeseung jokes around, and stands up the same time you do to return your trays. Seol-in and Sunghoon watch in horror how you both click, just like two peas in a pod. You and Heeseung both laugh when you realize it, going together to the booth to return your trays.

“Wow, did I move down y/n’s best friend list just like that?” Seol-in says as her eyes stay at the both of you walking away, the same Sunghoon was doing. 

“Same,” Sunghoon shakes his head in disapproval, going with Seol-in awkwardly to tail the both of you. 

It ends up as you and Heeseung share a light conversation, Seol-in and Sunghoon are quietly following. Sunghoon had a plan in mind but it was not this. And Heeseung knows that. So he coughs exaggeratedly, catching everyone’s attention. He shares a short look with Heeseung (a bit of a glare as for Sunghoon) and Heeseung makes up a not-so-obvious excuse to get him and Seol-in out of the picture. 

“Oh, Seol-in! I think we forgot to pay for our lunch a while ago,” Good going, Sunghoon thought. “We should head back,” Heeseung pulls a confused Seol-in by the arm.

“I did, though?” Seol-in furrows her brows and rethinks whether she did or not, and she was positive she did.

“We should go to be sure. I didn’t see you pay a while ago,” 

“We can come with you,” You offer, but…

“No!” Sunghoon suddenly shouts, making you jump in surprise, glaring at him. 

“Why?” You question. Are you and Seol-in are the only ones so fucking confused right now? 

“We’re going to be late.” Sunghoon excuses, eyes looking around in hysteria.

“I think we have enough time,” 

“Just go, y/n. Save us some seats,” Seol-in finally jumps on the train, feeling too anxious about leaving the cafeteria without paying for what she ate. 

You hesitantly nod, urging Sunghoon to come, which finally made him sigh in relief. 

“Are you guys okay?” You ask, sitting on your usual seat while Sunghoon took the one next to you. You both save Seol-in and Heeseung seats beside you. “And now you’re also sitting with us?”

“Weren’t we always?” He shakily chuckles, and your suspicion grows bigger. 

“Did you do something wrong to us, perhaps?” 

“My god, no.” He lets out a hearty laugh at your joke, but when he faces you, he was shocked at how serious you were. “No, y/n. Can’t we sit with you guys? We’ll leave if you say so,” 

“No, not that. It’s just that it’s so random. How come?” You rhetorically ask, preparing your materials for the class. You decided to leave it at that, but Sunghoon isn’t done just yet. After a few minutes of dead air, he clears his throat. 

“Do you have classes tomorrow?” He, at last, asks what he has been meaning to since a while ago (read: two days ago, when realizations have hit), and you blink at him. 

“No, why?”

“Plans?” 

“Nope. Stay at home, maybe. Why?” 

“I was thinking…” 

“What?” 

“I, uh…”

“Sunghoon, what?” 

“Oh my god, I can’t.” 

“What, fucking hell, spit it out!” 

“If you’d want to go get dinner with me tomorrow, gosh! I didn’t know you’re so vulgar with your friends!” Sunghoon unintentionally bursts out after the conversation rally, making heads turn. You blink at him once again, and he shrinks in shame. “Sorry,” 

“I thought you didn’t want to be friends?” Out of all the things he said, that’s what you asked. Sunghoon blinks as well, regaining his composure.

“That’s going to cost me a wonderful person now, am I?”

And that one random day, became one day that you treasured more than the others.

D-67.

“You’re supposed to rest, y/n,” Your dad stops you from preparing your outfit to leave, shaking his head. “I told you, if you’re going to go to school five to six times a week, then the last day was supposed to be a rest day.” 

“Dad, it’s just dinner…” You whine, pouting. “Besides, I know what to do and not to do.” 

“Seol-in wouldn’t be there to look over you,” 

“Dad, I’m not some kid needing for someone to look over me,” You sigh, still picking out your clothes anyway. “I know that you’re worried, Dad. Do you think I’ll do something that I know you’ll get more worried about?” 

And when you say that, your father surrenders with a breath of hesitation, and of course, reminding you of some things.

“This wouldn’t be a normal occasion, would it?” He asks to make sure before you head out, holding your arm. You smile at him and nod, “Okay. Be safe, darling. Text me updates and lastly, home at 10PM, sharp. No more, can less.” You chuckle, nodding again before hugging him and taking your leave. 

The diner Sunghoon picked was just a few blocks away, so you opted to walk since you had time to spare. And on the way there, you can’t seem to keep the smile inside. 

“If I didn’t even know I could die any day now, I wouldn’t even think this night would be possible.” You whisper to yourself, pressing your lips together to a tight smile. “Thank you for giving me another day,” You inhale sharply, closing your eyes for a moment and letting your head fall back to look at the night sky. 

Meanwhile, Sunghoon sees you standing there with your neck (almost) broken to take in much of the night sky. He chuckles, jogging to you and from his height, could look down straight at you from your position. 

“Oh, you’re here,” You laugh, your view of him upside down but you could recognize the face in any form or shape. Well, you’ve been in love with him for years. “Sorry, the sky was so pretty,”

Sunghoon looks up as well but the sky bore no anything, just pitch black with not even signs of dark clouds forming, the moon nowhere to be seen and stars hiding due to the city lights. His face contorts into confusion, thinking what made you say that such a pitch black-ed sky was pretty enough for you to thank the lords for another day.

“Let’s head in?” You ask, and when you’ve finally settled to a table with your food, you start to munch down. “What’s with dinner?” 

“Huh?” Sunghoon asks, covering his full mouth. 

“What’s with dinner? Why not breakfast or lunch or just the afternoon out? Are you planning on murdering me on the way back so there’s less people?” Your joke makes Sunghoon choke on his food and you laugh wholeheartedly, even grabbing your chest to keep it on radar. 

“Are you kidding me? Do I look like such a person?” Sunghoon drinks his soda and pats his chest to calm down, glaring at you. 

“I was kidding, loosen up. You just looked nervous, that’s all. That’s why I joked around.” You smiled cheekily, scrunching your nose at him. “Unless…” 

“Hey!” Sunghoon stops you and you have another round of laughter, shaking your spoon at him. He shakes you off and when you’ve calmed down, “I just thought breakfast would seem too eager, a lunch too usual, an afternoon out with what? Cafe’s? When you don’t even drink coffee?”

Your movements slow when you hear that, hearing your own heartbeat right in your ears. You take in a whole two breaths to calm down, even swallowing the non-existent lump on your throat.

“You remember that?” 

“You said that like, four days ago. I’m not that stupid,” He shakes it off as if it wasn’t a big deal for him to remember, but as you dwell on it, you only said that like it was a passing sentence, just one of the many you’ve dropped that day. “Did I remember wrong?” He stops eating and looks at you with wide eyes, anxiety evident in it. 

You chuckle, shaking your head. “No, you absolutely remembered right,” You finally continue eating as he sighs in relief, delving into his own food. 

“Why don’t you drink coffee though? I think you’re the first one I know that doesn’t,” 

“Ah…” You hesitate whether to tell him or not, so to not ruin the mood, you just carry on with no intentions of telling him. “Just don’t like the bitter taste,” 

Sunghoon nods in approval, and the dinner continues with light conversations and hearty laughs, clueless about the night deepening outside the windows. 

“Thank you for tonight, Sunghoon. I don’t know what’s gotten to you for you to suddenly offer dinner but it sure did make my night,” You chuckle, waving goodbye as you stood right in front of your porch. “You should go, be safe. Text me when you arrive so I know and that I wouldn’t be suspected for murder if you’re found dead,” 

“Hey, knock on wood!” He points and whines at you, but soon a chuckle still leaves his lips. 

“Fine, fine.” You coo him, knocking on the wood on your porch and then patting him on the shoulder. “You should really go now,”

“You head in first. I’ll go when I see you come in safely,” He nods at you, smiling. “Thank you as well, y/n.” 

You smile, and you think you won’t stop pushing and pulling if you don’t put a stop to it now, chuckling, nodding then finally turning your back at him.

“Uh, y/n,” He calls out once again and you turn curiously, raising your brows. Sunghoon looks fidgety, unable to meet your eyes and chest heaving up and down heavily. 

“What is it? Are you okay?” You step closer, taking a good look at him. “Do you want to head in for a glass of water first? You’re going to drive. I can’t let you leave like that.” 

“Your offer.” He starts, grabbing your arm and then finally staring right through your eyes softly. 

“Huh?”

“Can I still take it?” 

“What the hell are you on about?” 

“Being your boyfriend for a month. You offered that to me a few weeks ago, right? Can I still take it?” He speaks faster than normal, but it was all clear to you. It rang through your ears along with the beat of your heart, through the gush of the wind, and the almost inevident, almost whispers of the neighbors enjoying the last hours of the night in their own homes. “Can I still be your boyfriend for a month?” 

D-65. 

To taste your own medicine was a punch in the face. You’ll never even guess or dare think that you’ll be able to get this far. You knew your idea was ridiculous, you didn’t know that Sunghoon agreeing to it would be more ridiculous. You can’t even explain into words how your life has been quiet, full of restraints due to your illness, and now, you’ve gotten yourself into so much trouble that you can’t back down. 

Because why the hell was Sunghoon standing on your porch at five fifty-six in the morning? 

“Who’s this gentleman?” Your father, who has, let me emphasize, had never ever missed a day driving you to school, questioned when he got surprised after opening the door. He eyes you after Sunghoon eyes you, waiting for an answer. 

“Ah…” You chuckle nervously, scratching your head. “Sunghoon, my dad. Dad…” You crane your neck, thinking of an introduction. “Sunghoon, just a good friend.” You give your dad a tight-lipped smile, and then turn to Sunghoon. “What are you doing here, good friend?” You give him a glare secretly, turning away from your dad. 

“Sir, good morning.” Sunghoon smiles and reaches his hand out for your dad to shake, “I’m here this early in the morning to get your permission, sir.” Your dad cranes his neck curiously, shooting you and Sunghoon curious looks. “I wanted to take your daughter to school today, so I waited for an hour,” He smiles, and your dad shakes his hand. 

Your dad takes a minute to think and answer, because all he knew to do in the morning was to take you to school because of his overflowing concern for his only daughter. 

“I’ll get her there safe and sound, you don’t need to worry,” He claps his hand to show his car, smiling nervously. You stood there unmoving, staring at Sunghoon weirdly. 

“Dad, it’s okay, he was the one who drove me home last night,” Your dad grows suspicious and you regret saying that, making his eyebrows meet in the middle.

“You’re the one my daughter met alone last night for dinner?” You sigh in irritation, massaging your temples. 

Sunghoon nods and his hands come together to fumble badly, and you can see it glistening from the formed sweat of nervousness. 

“Okay, then,” Your head whips to your dad in question, confirming it. “I’ll pick you up later,” 

“Uh, actually, I can do that too,” Sunghoon smiles at your father, this time around unnerved, “And I can do that for the following days as well,”

Your jaw drops to the floor and you internally sigh, eyes closing tightly. You never knew the game you started was this dangerous.

“Your father agreed.” Sunghoon smiles but keeps his eyes on the road, giddy. 

“When you corner him like that he’ll have no choice but to, am I wrong?” You sigh, “Sunghoon, you don't need to.”

“I want to. Plus, it's just for a month.” He glances at you and then his eyes were back on the road, but you don't meet his eyes. “What's wrong? Didn't you ask for this?” He chuckles nervously, afraid that he might've crossed the line. “Are you uncomfortable?”

“No, I’m worried that you're uncomfortable.” You quickly retort, perking on your seat. “I know I said things, asked things. It was ridiculous, Sunghoon. You know it is, so why are you doing this?”

Sunghoon puts his car on hazard, unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to look at you. 

“You know what, it is ridiculous.” He chuckles, “But it was interesting. You're interesting. How come you only want the Park Sunghoon for a month, right?” He quotes and unquotes, “I want it. I want to do it because you're interesting. No jokes included.” He grabs your hand and pats it. And you share a thoughtful gaze right through each other's orbs for a minute before he sharply inhales. “Now, we have to get going before we're late for anatomy,” 

D+1.

“Your lunch,” Before you even get to order your lunch for today with Seol-in, Sunghoon places a iunchbox neatly in front of you. “I prepared those,” You look at him curiously and he nods at you to open it, and it reveals your usual palate and diet, fruits and vegetables. It takes you a while how Sunghoon had known you always ate these, and once again, your heartbeat rang through your ears. You were glowing faint red, and it makes Sunghoon nervous. “Why? Don't you like these?”

“How did you know?” Seol-in raises her eyebrows at Sunghoon, and he immediately refutes.

“No… I just… uh, always saw her with these, so I assumed…” He mumbles bad, and Heeseung breaks into laughter. Sunghoon looks at him with a look of help, trying to excuse himself out of the situation.

“I think everybody noticed, y/n. Don't think too much of it,” Heeseung shakes his hand in front of you lightheartedly, and you just nod.

“Thank you,” You smile at Sunghoon, preparing to dive in to the lunch he gave you. Sunghoon plops in front of you as Seol-in and Heeseung goes off to buy their own. You look at Sunghoon who opens his own, and your mouth agape when you realize you have the same content. He notices this and smiles at you, patting your hand. 

“I just thought you'd feel pressured and uncomfortable eating that alone,” He explains, and then takes a bite of his cucumber.

“Thank you, Sunghoon.” And words were never enough to express how grateful and seen you were. Especially from the man himself you liked. Especially when you take a greater look of the fruits and vegetables so delicately cut with others cut like flowers and others just with design. 

D+3.

“Are you free the day after tomorrow?” Sunghoon grabs the books you hugged as you made your way to his car, the sun setting which signaled your dismissal.

“I have one class in the morning and nothing to do after that, why?” 

“Perfect. Let’s go on a date.” 

You stop on your tracks, clutching your chest as you numbered your breaths, even wobbling in your position. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Sunghoon runs up to you and grabs your arms, crouching down to see you better. Your eyes meet and you nod, giving him a small smile. “Don’t scare me like that,” 

“Then don’t say things like that out of the blue,” You lightly hit his shoulder, chuckling. Your chest still stings but mildly bearable, so you start walking slowly and Sunghoon matches your pace. 

“Okay, sorry. I’ll ask your dad for permission later though.” He giggles, and he opens the passenger’s seat door for you and even covers the top of the lining of the car to protect your head from bumping on it. “Where do you want to go? Amusement parks? Zoo? Aquarium? Tell me,” 

Sunghoon pops in his seat and starts his car, oftenly glancing at you. 

“Anywhere with you, Hoon.”

D+4.

“Surprise!” You habitually grab your chest to calm yourself down, grabbing onto the next thing, rather person, next to you, Seol-in. She reaches for your back and rubs it looking at you worriedly. “Sorry, are you bad with surprises?” Sunghoon grabs your arm to properly stand you up, scratching his head. 

Seol-in almost lectures him but you stop her, shaking your head.

“She is. Very bad. So don’t do it again,” Seol-in shortens, and then looks at you worriedly again. You squeeze her arm to assure her, giving her a side hug before bidding goodbye.

“Sorry,” Sunghoon gets your bag slinging from your shoulders and slings it to his. “I didn’t know.” 

“That’s okay.” You smile at him. “You didn’t know.” 

D+6.

Sunghoon, with his arm held out, bore a bouquet of sweet heliotropes, your favorite flower.

“Oh my god,” You exclaim, gently getting it off his hands for you to admire more closely. “Heliotropes?” Of course you’ll recognize your favorite flowers. But just to be sure, you turn to Sunghoon and he nods with a smile. “These are so hard to find! Where did you get this?” 

“I have my ways,” And Sunghoon won’t just simply admit he drove fifty miles away just for the flowers you liked, checking flower shop by flower shop to see if it had them. 

“And you knew these were my favorite, how?” You didn’t bat him a glance with your eyes glued on the flowers, touching every flower with your index finger gently. 

“I asked Seol-in,” Sunghoon admires how you admired the flowers, and how you were so casually dressed (which he had reminded you about) but so enticing to see. Everything around you and you screamed exuberantly, and Sunghoon was quite regretful how he had managed to ignore and have unknown of your existence after all these years. Yet, he was also quite happy. He's a lucky man who’s got to experience it now, thinking, it’s better late than never.

“So, where are we going?” 

“That’s a secret.” Sunghoon teasingly raises his eyebrows repeatedly before honking courtesy to your dad waiting for him to drive off, worry unetched from his face unlike the first time Sunghoon drove you off.  “You can guess though. I’ll tell you if you’re right.” 

“That throws excitement out of the bus.” You shake your head. “But the aquarium. I love fishes and maybe Seol-in told you that too,” He laughs out loud when you guess anyway, making you giggle. 

“I wouldn’t tell. It’ll throw excitement out of the bus,” Sunghoon quotes you, booping your nose for a second before turning back to face the road again. “Brace yourself. It’s going to be quite a long ride.” 

You nod curiously, thinking of places where you can go out of the radar until you’ve drifted off to sleep. 

You’re awoken with your seat leaned back, seatbelt undone and Sunghoon’s jacket draped over your body. You quickly rise and look for Sunghoon beside you, but he isn't there. Only do you take a good look outside, and your jaw drops open. 

“Oh my god,” It feels like you’re in a story book of a fairytale, feeling every step of yours slowly and every second in time reeling in. “Sunghoon…” You step closer to Sunghoon, back on you as he admires the view in front of you. 

The soft grass tickled your legs and Sunghoon’s hand slowly warmed your hand as he held you tight beside him, the breeze passing through you as you held onto Sunghoon’s jacket on your body with your other, and the amazingly breathtaking view of the almost grassy volcano in front of you. It emitted a picture-perfect scene that you thank the gods for a perfect day that the clouds did not cover almost half of it, fog forming on top of it that it was just so immaculate to the eyes. 

“Do you like it?” Sunghoon turns to you like the view in front of him wasn’t enough he had to turn to you.

“...Like it?” You were able to utter out, head turning to him as your eyes followed. “I love it so much that I can’t… breathe, Sunghoon.” You were holding your tears, unable to grasp your chest to stabilize your breathing because of your busy hands.

Sunghoon just laughs and takes it as a light joke, pressing his lips and grabbing your shoulders softly to turn you to face him. He stares at you for a few more moments before his hands drop to hold yours, rubbing it with his thumb. 

“Sunghoon… I can’t breathe,” Your tears finally left your eyes, seeming never ending as you feel everything you needed to feel a little… more. Your blood rushing, the goosebumps you’re having a little too uncomfortable to have, the grass now too prickly to your skin, your tears a bit more wet, breeze too cold for your liking, his palms too warm and rough from the calluses he had, your heart thumping a little too hard and his eyes a little less intimidating… in time which is the one that served as your oxygen that calms you down. So you tug his hands softly and swiftly bring your arms around his shoulders, leaning in for a hug. “Thank you, Sunghoon. It’s beautiful.” 

Sunghoon smiles as he brings his arms up to hug you back, feeling his hand rub your back to calm you down.

“I didn’t even dare think I’d see this up close this lifetime,” You explain, smiling at him with your face damp with tears. “Thank you, Sunghoon. I don’t think I’ll ever say those words enough.” 

Sunghoon sighs in relief and holds your hand, smugly turning to the view in front of him and so do you. 

“Well, aren't Seol-in and your dad such great sources? I think I’m getting to know you half better because of them,” He chuckles, and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion.

“Dad told you about here?” 

“He did. I asked. He said he isn’t able to get you here because he was too much of a coward to do so, which I have no idea why he said that.” He shrugs, and you hold your head down. You knew your father was afraid that you were going to feel extreme emotions just like how you did a few minutes ago, and that he would absolutely have no idea what to do if it happens. So he just avoids it and decides to never bring you here himself. 

It wasn’t on his year's bingo card for Sunghoon to show up and do everything with you that he was scared to do. You know that he probably thinks— if he didn’t know you were sick, will he be able to do the things Sunghoon is able to do for you, for his only daughter? Will he be able to take you to places you liked, wanted to go, let you eat whatever you wanted to, let you do whatever you wanted to do? 

If he had the choice, he would let you. But he doesn’t. And you don’t. 

“What are you thinking so deeply about?” Sunghoon slightly shakes your intertwined hands, getting your attention from the scenery before you. 

“How I should relieve this view every morning. So I’m memorizing every bit like a painting,” You explain, nudging his side.

“Shouldn’t you be getting me in the view then?” He shakes your hand off softly before he poses in front of you cheekily, striking random ones which make you laugh. “Your handsome boyfriend brought you here, so—”

“I already memorized each of your features, Sunghoon. You don’t need to do that,” You grab his hand to hold once again, and this time around, it was Sunghoon’s turn to feel flustered. “Oh, you’re getting red!” You point at his face, and it makes you hold your tummy to laugh aloud. Sunghoon turns around with ihs back on you to compose himself, feeling blood stay in his face and ears for a good half an hour every time he remembers what you said. 

—

“Is that a church? Can we drop by for a second?” You turn to Sunghoon, who instantly nods at you. “You can stay here if you want. I’ll be here in a flash.”

“It’s okay, I’ll come with.” Sunghoon turns the engine off and heads out to open your door as you prepare your bag once again, thanking him after you made your way out and habitually intertwining your hands. 

There was no mass ceremony so there were less people inside, immediately finding a spot to sit on and pray silently.

You put your hands together and close your eyes, whispering your prayers silently. After a few minutes, you inhale sharply and exhale deeply, opening your eyes after it. 

“What were you praying so intently for?” Sunghoon asks, brushing the stray hair behind your ear.

“For giving me another day. And with you,” You smile at him, squeezing his hand. “You? Did you pray for anything or you just watched me with those eyes?” You nod at him and pointed out how you felt his sweet eyes on you even with your eyes closed.

“I made a promise that I’ll always find a way to you since you seem so close to Him,” Sunghoon rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, playfully raising his eyebrows at you. “And since you thanked him for giving you another day, I thanked him for letting me have you.” 

“Liar. I didn’t even see you close your eyes for a second,” 

“You don’t need to close your eyes to pray!” 

“Stop lying in front of the church, Sunghoon,” 

D+12.

Sunghoon twists and turns in his seat to catch a glimpse of you, but you were nowhere to be found. Neither was your loud bestfriend. It was so bad that he had been kicked out of his first class that he was taking with you, checking and checking his phone if you had sent any text that you were going to skip class today. There was none. 

“Maybe she just forgot. For now, focus on your next class,” Heeseung pats his friend’s shoulder, growing concerned not only for his friend but also for you. 

”Y/n never forgets to update me, Heeseung.” Sunghoon’s leg was continuously bouncing in nervousness, “Do you think she’s sick? Should I go visit her? Should I go to their house later?” His grip on his phone was deathly, and Heeseung could feel it through his white knuckles.

Heeseung sighs and gets his phone from him, and shakes his head. 

“Let’s just go find Seol-in first and ask her. We’ve got our last class with her so maybe she knows. It’ll be dark by then. So if we still don’t know until tomorrow, then call her dad.” Heeseung talks him out of it and assures him temporarily for the day. 

It’s okay, he thinks. At least he knows you didn’t fight and ended the day before with bad terms. 

The day ended without him having to see Seol-in to ask where you are, the loud friend being absent as well. 

D+13

Sunghoon now can’t stay still and cannot be brainwashed by Heeseung now that you’re not attending school the second day around. You haven’t contacted him at all and he grows scared whether everything was just a fever dream he had, itching to go to your house when he gets a glimpse of your friend scrambling to get her things in a rush and go home. 

“Seol-in, Seol-in!” He shouts through the hallway, but Seol-in feigns ignorance and goes her way quickly. But Sunghoon was too worried that he pushes through the crowd to catch Seol-in by the arm. 

“Seol-in. Do you have any idea what the fuck y/n has been up to? She’s not answering my calls,” Sunghoon turns Seol-in who had a tight smile on, itching to leave right that second. “Her dad, too.” 

“Ah… I don’t know…” Seol-in shakes her head, “Maybe they went on a vacation?” 

“And you think she forgot to tell me?” Sunghoon was now fuming, his grip on Seol-in arm tightening for her to squirm.

“Sunghoon, you’re hurting Seol-in,” Heeseung stops him and yanks his arm away from Seol-in. “Could you please just tell y/n to talk to Sunghoon if you got some kind of contact with her? Please,” 

“I will. Don’t worry. I have to go,” Seol-in nods at them before she scurries off, heading straight to your house to help around. 

You were on a bed rest for the whole day, wrapped in your soft sheets with people seemingly pushing past you and tending to you every second you could count, patting your sweat away, fanning you, and asking you every possible minute if you were okay. 

“Y/n! Are you okay now?!” Seol-in bursts through the door as he pouts at you looking at your state, plopping on your side to give you a hug.

“I can’t breathe enough because of these sheets suffocating me. Get off,” You chuckle, pushing her off. “Could you take my mask off please,” You groan at Seol-in and she shakes her head at you, tightening your oxygen mask on your head. “Oh please, I’m over the attack now. Just get it off,” Seol-in hesitantly takes it off and fans you and you immediately breathe in comfortably, mumbling a small thanks.

After briefing you about your missed activities, she sighs and packs her notebooks back to her bag, preparing to leave. 

“Say it. You’ve been keeping it all night.” You poke her sides, making her glare at you. 

“Sunghoon. You know he’s worried.” 

“Oh is he now?” You steady your breathing, swallowing the lump on your throat. 

“Send him a short text. He almost ripped me to pieces asking where you were a while ago.” You sigh and smile reluctantly, nodding. You bid her goodbye after it and as the door closes after her, it opens once again.

“Dad.” You smile, almost putting your oxygen mask back before he shakes his hand. 

“If you’re okay then you don’t need to put it back on,” He chuckles, then busies himself with your bedside table. “Do you need anything, perhaps?” Your dad slowly takes a seat beside you where Seol-in was, tucking you properly in your sheets once more. When he sees you shake your head, it takes more minutes for him to start another conversation. “Sunghoon… my dear, he still doesn’t know?” 

You sigh for the nth time, knowing where this conversation might end just well. 

“He doesn’t need to know, dad.” You give him a tight smile, fiddling with your fingers. “I don’t see the reason why I should tell him.” 

“Dear… He’s your beloved, isn’t he?” He takes your hand to stop you from wounding it, patting it. “I think it will be best if he knows. So you can cherish more of your time together.” 

“Dad.” You stop him from going further, shaking your head. “I am cherishing it. But I can’t be greedy, can I? I want to… let him carry on without thinking about me.” Your dad nods not in agreement but for the sake of ending the conversation he started, letting you have the last word. 

If you think that’s what’s best for the both of you, then that’s that. 

D+15

“Y/n!” Sunghoon runs to you with such worry, grabbing your shoulders and looking everywhere in your body to see if you were hurt. To him, you absolutely looked pretty, yes, again, ever did you do look, but you were noticeably paler, skinnier, and black bags rested under your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Sunghoon, hi.” You smile cheekily, clinging to his arm. “Of course I am, do I look like I’m not?” Of course you knew you looked different day by day.

“What the hell happened? How come I wasn’t able to contact you or your dad? When I went to your house, your housekeeper said that you weren’t around! Seol-in doesn’t even know where you were as well!” Sunghoon softly shakes you off his arm, taking another closer look at you with furrowed eyebrows. 

You chuckle, letting him do whatever he wants as you straighten his eyebrows out, to un-forrow it. 

“Please don’t be mad. There was just an emergency we had to go to, and we didn’t have the time for our phones. I’m sorry,” You mumble, smiling at him. 

Sunghoon sighs in defeat as finally all the concern left his body, but also the energy he had for today. Everything he needed was right in front of him, and classes weren't in his choices to enjoy today since you were finally back in his arms where you rightfully were.

“That’s okay, you can make it up to me today,” Sunghoon slyly smiles at you and knowing him, an idea was brewing inside his mind right that moment. 

“What the hell are you thinking of doing, Hoon?” You chuckle, poking his dimple that was showing. 

“Let’s skip classes.” 

D+17

“Heeseung, hi.” You knock on the door of their classroom hideout, peeking inside.

“Oh, y/n!” He jumps out of his beanbag, welcoming you in. “What brings you here?” He rubs his palm against his pants and tucks it in his behind pockets. 

“I was wondering where Sunghoon was and if you knew. We shared a class just now but he wasn’t there and it wasn’t like him to skip without telling me…” You embarrassingly shifted around and let your eyes stay on the ground.

“Ah… Uh…” Heeseung scratches his head and is hesitant to tell you anything, but he does anyway. “He went to the hospital.”

“What? Why? Is he hurt?” You suddenly meet his eyes but he immediately calms you down, shaking his head. 

“Don’t worry! He’s not hurt or anything, he was just asked to visit someone there. He’ll be around tomorrow, I guess.” Heeseung smiles at you assuringly before you excuse yourself, sending him a quick text to stay wherever he was. 

D+18

He wasn’t around unlike what Heeseung had said. And you were growing worried. 

You think, was this how Sunghoon worried over you when you were barely to be contacted and no one he knew where you were?

“Stop worrying so much, y/n…” Seol-in stops your leg from bouncing and asks you to calm your breathing. You follow her lead, nodding at her. “Didn’t Heeseung say he was only visiting someone? And didn’t Sunghoon send you a text saying not to worry? So don’t. Y/n…” Seol-in suppresses her own concern about you and tries to talk you out of it. “...you’re getting weaker day by day. Can’t you just… stay at home now? And about Sunghoon…” 

“Seol-in,” You voice out, “I’m okay. I know when I should be staying at home.” You smile at her, and tears leave her eyes at the sudden realization of things. Of how you were slowly, perfectly, surely of living the last of your best lives, letting you do whatever you want because she knows that you will know for sure what to do in any given situation. 

She trusts you over herself. 

D+19

“Sunghoon’s still not around?” Your eyes were busy as you looked around the classroom, not seeing the pretty head you have always admired from afar. 

“I guess…” You mumble, pouting. Your phone buzzes and you read the message sent to you almost too immediately, pout only growing worse at the text you received. “He said he’ll stay in the hospital for today too…” 

You suck it up and force a smile, sending him a text back and putting your phone down. 

Suddenly, your head grows heavy and your visions double and blur, feeling your body fall weak and harshly to the ground with a commotion. Before you black out completely, you hear Seol-in’s desperate cries for you and for help.

—

Your eyes twitch uncomfortably when you open it slightly to a bright room, feeling your breathing cycle once again almost too much. You remove your oxygen mask and realize where you were, at the campus clinic with Seol-in and Heeseung beside you.

“Oh… I must’ve been fatigued last night…” You excuse, smiling at Heeseung. But he doesn’t budge, the same worried face as Seol-in etched on his face. “What? First time seeing a grown woman faint?” You joke around, and Seol-in bursts into tears once again.

“I know already, y/n, you can stop pretending,” Heeseung mumbles softly, gaining you an apologetic face afterward. You glance at Seol-in, sighing. 

At this very moment, like with any other person who suddenly knows your condition, is the very moment and only moment you don’t know what to do.

What, are you supposed to console other people about yourself having a terminal condition?

“Heeseung, please don’t tell Sunghoon.” Heeseung didn’t need any more explanation than that. If you didn’t want him to know, then it’s not his place to tell so. And suddenly for Heeseung, everything clicks.

From how you’re suddenly asking Sunghoon to be your boyfriend, and apart from all that, only for a month, to how you’re drastically changing which he didn’t pay no mind at all unless Sunghoon has taken notice of it, and why you were out of Sunghoon’s, or any other’s radar for almost three days last week. 

So he just nods, because that’s what you needed right now. For everyone to just do what you say, do what you want. As long as Sunghoon is kept in the dark of your condition. 

D+20

“Y/n, can we go somewhere?” Heeseung offers, opening his car for you to ride on. You curiously just followed his lead, staying quiet throughout the ride as you stared outside and watched the sun set. 

“Why? Is someone hurt? Are you hurt?” You question, unbuckling your seatbelt. Heeseung stays quiet but leads you to a ward, opening it to reveal a woman in her early twenties, back of her skull facing towards you so you had no idea who she was. 

Heeseung lets you in as you slowly and unsurely move to the side to see who she was.

“Chung-ah…” You mumble, and your eyes blink rapidly. 

Chung-ah doesn’t look like what she always did, smiling and healthily making her way around the campus with a bright energy. On the hospital bed, tubes were connected throughout her body and ventilations were even needed to help her breathe continuously. 

“Why…” Your chest was breathing heavily and you were trying hard to stabilize it, but tears were already forming in your eyes as you put two and two together. 

“She was the reason why Sunghoon had been skipping his classes, y/n.” Heeseung explains calmly, already feeling apologetic toward you. Because it wasn’t right.

Although you and Sunghoon had agreed to only be together for a month, it wasn’t right for Sunghoon to be hiding the fact that he was visiting and taking care of his ex-girlfriend for days now, and keeping it from you even though she was sick.

Especially when you were fighting your own battles too. And with that, alone. 

“This is why… she broke up with him.” You conclude, and you finally let out a sob, waking the said character up groggily. 

“Y/n…” She mumbles through the mask, trying to force herself to smile. “It’s nice to meet you. It’s a shame we didn’t meet any sooner,” She managed to voice out, having heavy breaths between words to keep up with her own sentences. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you all confused about Sunghoon again. I can see he’s happier now… but my mom…” 

“Chung-ah…” You call for her to stop, followed by your sobs and your shaking of head. To think that they broke up only because Chung-ah didn’t want him to be heart broken by the fact that she’s merely holding on to life, and the only thing, only one that can lengthen her life, was to be kept happy by the people she loves. 

Just like you, she didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable with her just because she was. She didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable just for her to selfishly wake up in the morning for another day. She didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable staying by her side just for her to simply live.

You didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable just for you to selfishly leave him alone in the end, after all. 

Heeseung follows you out of the room as you clench your chest that bore so much pain for the decision you had to make, uncontrollably sobbing and continuously wiping endless tears from your face. You had to hold on to life to the wall beside you to keep you standing, audibly and physically showing your pain and your torment for everybody— Chung-ah, Sunghoon, and for yourself too. 

“Y/n?” You hear Sunghoon’s voice from five meters away and you meet his eyes at once, his full of skepticism and distress and yours… unimaginable pain. And Sunghoon can see it.

He mumbles something under his breath before stomping his way to Heeseung behind you and striking him right on the face, making a commotion as you held him back. 

“Sunghoon, no, please…”

“Bastard! Why the hell would you bring y/n in here?!” Sunghoon, red from anger continued to dote on Heeseung who annoyingly smirked at him, keeping his composure. 

“What, were you planning on keeping it from y/n? For how long, you sick bastard? That’s your fucking ex inside! What about y/n?!” Heeseung fights back with a tight jaw, fist tightening holding back to landing a punch back on his friend.

“Heeseung…” 

“Fuck you, Heeseung! Chung-ah’s sick! Mind your fucking words you piece of shit!” Sunghoon attempts to give him another strike but you take a hold of his clenched fist, facing Sunghoon with tears still falling in your eyes.

“Sunghoon,”

“And y/n?” Heeseung starts, but you quickly turn to him to desperately ask him to stop there. Heeseung holds back and opts to leave the scene first, intentionally bumping Sunghoon’s shoulder harshly before he��s off.

“Sunghoon, can we talk?” You smile tightly, squeezing his hand assuringly. 

You’ve got nowhere else private to go but the chapel inside the hospital meant for desperate patients and families to turn towards in times of anguish, at this time in the night no one else able to use it to spend time with each other. 

You were just staring in front, sniffing here and there but no other words were undone between you, and beside you, unlike you, Sunghoon was looking down on his hands fiddling with each other. 

“Chung-ah broke up with you because she didn’t want you to feel miserable with her, Hoon.” You start, and as if on cue, tears started forming in your eyes once again. “Not because she didn’t love you anymore.” 

Sunghoon stays quiet and unmoving, and you take it as a signal to continue. 

“Chung-ah… I heard from Heeseung that she’s only to live more if she’s filled and surrounded by people she loves.” This time, you look up to stop your tears from falling, and from being a sobbing mess all over again. 

But it was too late.

“What are you trying to say, y/n?” Sunghoon softly mumbles, finally having the guts to face you. He grabs your hands and kneels before you, but you’re unable to meet his eyes. 

“I’m saying that… you… Park Sunghoon, should stay with her.” You smile between cries and sobs, and Sunghoon’s face drops in shock. And as unbelievable as it was, Sunghoon’s eyes were also sparkling in sadness when he heard what you were saying. 

“I don’t want to,” 

“Sunghoon… have you seen Chung-ah?”

“I don’t care! I don’t want to! The only reason why I’ve been staying here for days is because her mother was begging me, y/n. Please believe me,” 

“I do, will always do, Sunghoon.” Your lips were trembling from all the crying you were doing but you didn’t miss the way a tear fell down from Sunghoon’s eyes the first time, and then followed by many others. You raise your palm to his cheeks to wipe it away, shaking your head. 

“Then why are you doing this, y/n… Come on…” Sunghoon also shakes his head, his grip on your hand tightening but not enough to hurt you. Enough only to make you feel that the situation was hurting him too. 

“Because Chung-ah needs you and your love, too,” 

“But I don’t love her, y/n! I love you! I… love you, y/n. Don’t you love me too?” Sunghoon becomes weak before your eyes as his voice softens and tries his best reaching the sincerity to you and for you to embrace it.

“God,” You let out a genuine snort, throwing your head back and then looking at the said god in front of you, dropping a few more tears before cupping Sunghoon’s cheeks for his eyes to meet yours from his position. “I love you so much you have no idea, Park Sunghoon,” You smile at him, scrunching your nose at him. “...But our love is not enough this time, Sunghoon. Chung-ah needs you. It wouldn’t be hard to love someone the second time around, would it?” 

Sunghoon drops his head on your knees and you hear him sob helplessly, because he knows you were right. He knows that staying with you, is leaving Chung-ah good as dead. 

“Twenty days. You gave me twenty days full of nothing but your love that I promise to keep for my whole life, Sunghoon.” You rub his head sweetly before making him stretch his head out to meet your eyes once more, maybe, for the last time. “Twenty days for you, Sunghoon. You gave me twenty days from your lifetime… but you gave me forever with it,” You smile reassuringly, and then stare at each other’s eyes deeply. Crying for each other, sobs echoed through the chapel until you were finally ready to go. “I love you, Sunghoon. So much,”

You wiped Sunghoon’s tears away once more before leaving a kiss on his forehead, letting it stay there for a few seconds to cherish it, and then gently patting his cheeks before standing up and making your leave, hearing his desperate cries to try and make you stay.

But you don’t look back. 

God, you can’t look back because if you did, even to catch a glimpse of him for a second— to see him still kneeling in the same place, face damp and flushed from all of the crying he did, wailing as his hands can’t find the guts to hold your warm hands back to stay with him— you knew you were going to run back in his arms and tell him that you loved him, and that you needed him too. 

Because if you looked back and ran back to him, it was to end Chung-ah's life then and there.

D-64.

Sunghoon twists and turns in his seat, unable to stay still which inevitably wakes Chung-Ah up. She watches him for a few minutes until until he took notice, smiling apologetically 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Sunghoon asks, propping his elbows on his knees to be closer to Chung-ah. 

She takes a closer good look at Sunghoon— puffy red eyes, dark bags underneath, bruised lips from yesterday when he met up with Heeseung to ask about you and your whereabouts, only to be faced with no answer but a punch in the face, pale skin, paler than he had always been. He had also not been eating a lot, talking a lot— but he had obviously been trying his best to look and feel okay since he had someone beside him having it a lot worse than he could imagine.

“Sunghoon…” She smiles, asking for his hand to hold. For Sunghoon, it had felt like he was touched by a cold feather, 

“Sorry, I can’t sleep on the couch and I certainly cannot sleep here. I wanted to get some fresh air but I couldn’t leave you alone.” He explains, rubbing his thumb on her palm. Chung-ah lifelessly shakes her head, patting Sunghoon’s hand. “Do you need something? Water?” 

“No, Sunghoon. Thank you,” She mumbles out, chuckling. It takes Chung-ah a few minutes to gather her strength for talking, inhaling in and out as Sunghoon patiently waits. “You know… when y/n came here, I didn’t even get to say anything.” 

Sunghoon was taken aback, surprised that Chung-ah had opened this topic up and knowing that she heard everything outside her door that day. 

“...I didn’t tell her anything about us. Nor Heeseung— nor anyone in the school why I broke up with you. So I was surprised when… she knew.” Chung-ah closes her eyes to reminisce, remembering your cries and your eyes that had realized what was coming for her. It breaks her as well too, because she understood well just how you were feeling. “She instantly knew why I had to break it off with you, why I had to choose you and not me, for us.” 

“Chung-ah…” Sunghoon tried to stop her by shushing her, wanting for her to save up the energy for anything else, not by explaining to him. He had already understood you, and he had already accepted it. 

“I don’t know if it’s a girl to girl thing, but still I wanted to say this since I didn’t get to say it to her.” Chung-ah continues anyway, wanting to let Sunghoon hear what she wants to say.

“Chung-ah, you can stop. Save your energy. Y/n… she made me understand everything, so you don’t need to.” 

“No, Sunghoon. If you did, you’re not supposed to be here, then.” She smiles softly, and Sunghoon could feel how sincere she was so he just nodded at her to continue. “Sunghoon, did you know you burned brighter when you started hanging out with her? Did you know that it was the first time from the ten months we’ve been together, plus a month after we broke up, that I’ve seen you smile so genuinely and look at someone with so much love. I know you loved me, but you just loved her better.” Chung-ah’s smile never leaves her lips, hand holding Sunghoon’s as tight as she can. “Sunghoon, you… don’t need to stay.”

“Chung-ah, we’ve talked about this.” 

“No. You and mom talked about this.” She shakes her head, “Sunghoon, I’ve lived enough,” She sighs, scooting on her bed. “I’ll only be here for a few weeks now, I can’t hold on any longer. I need to… rest,” She looks at Sunghoon once again, grateful and apologetic all in her eyes.

“Then let me just stay with you until you can hold out, Chung-ah. For old time’s sake.” 

D-30.

“They said it was a miracle Chung-ah lasted longer than she was counted up by the doctors, Sunghoon.” Chung-ah’s mom, just like when she begged Sunghoon to stay, was weeping as she held Sunghoon by the hand. “Thank you for staying with her, Sunghoon.” 

“It’s nothing, auntie. Let’s wrap up the documents for the funeral and then let’s bid our last goodbyes to Chung-ah, alright?” Sunghoon had managed to pick himself up everytime he should, in front of Chung-ah and her family. 

Of course, every now and then he tries to look for you, getting gossip that you went radio silent after that day and had not been going to school after that, it had affected him quite a lot to not hear anything about you. 

“I have no idea as well, Sunghoon.” Heeseung sighs as he gets another call from his friend who he had recently reconciled with, mumbling on the phone. “I’m trying to look for her too. So don’t worry, I’ll give you a text as soon as I get an update,” 

“Sunghoon… Sorry, y/n… I think it’s best for you not to look for her,” This time around, Seol-in shakes her head in front of him, after paying a visit at Chung-ah’s funeral. “And you know I can’t say anything if that’s what y/n wants. So I’ll have to keep my mouth shut about it. It’s not my right to say anything,” 

D-7.

“Sunghoon.” Chung-ah’s mother snaps in front of his face to get his attention, as he jumps and suddenly looks around. He was the only one left along with his mother in front of Chung-ah’s burial site, the place filled with white flowers and food Chung-ah loved. “I didn’t know you were here. You should have told me,” She smiles at Sunghoon and places her own bouquet of white flowers beside Sunghoon’s, taking a minute to say her own prayers. “You’ve been here for how long? Can I bother you for some tea?” 

Sunghoon nods and follows her lead after they had paid a visit to Chung-ah, smiling as he rubbed Chung-ah’s frame before he left. 

“Chung-ah… she left a letter before she passed, darling.” Her mother sets her cup of tea in front of her as she opens up her bag to reveal the letter. “I wasn’t ready to open it when she passed, so I only got to open it last night and went here today to talk to her about it. It was a good thing you were there,” She pushes the letter over the table closer to Sunghoon, and explains as Sunghoon reads it.

Tears form in Sunghoon’s eyes as he reads through the letter, the first time he ever was vulnerable in front of Chung-ah’s mother. 

“Chung-ah… she was so sorry that you had to repeat senior year all over again that she asked me to take care of you,” She gets another envelope, a thicker one, and slides it over the table again. “Here’s a little help, Sunghoon.” 

“I don’t need it, auntie.” Sunghoon smiles as he glances at the content, but Chung-ah’s mother insists.

“As Chung-ah says, learn to accept the help you’re receiving.” She smiles, and Sunghoon chuckles and continues to read. “She also says… to help you find the love you had before you knew of her illness,” Sunghoon’s hold on the paper tightens, as he just got to read that part of the paper. He continues, as she continues. “I’m sorry Sunghoon, I didn’t know… but it was for my daughter, so I’m sorry that I don’t regret it at all,” She is so apologetic of her actions that she even bears tears for it, wiping it instantly. “I am a mother, that’s why.” 

Sunghoon doesn’t utter anything but continues to read, his heart thumping a lot heavier than it was.

“But I will help you find her again, Sunghoon. Now, not for me, but for you, Chung-ah, and the girl you loved.” By this time, Sunghoon had placed the letter down after reading every word of it, looking at the woman in front of him with dead eyes. He understood every side, but still, he had missed the girl he loved and is now missing. 

“I promise you I will find her, Sunghoon. I will.” She assures, taking his hands over the table. “Thank you for loving my daughter, Sunghoon. I will always carry it in my heart.”

D-5.

Sunghoon holds his phone tight as he hesitates to contact someone, as clearly sent by Chung-ah’s mother’s through text.

…997… This is y/n’s father’s number. He had it changed over two months ago, and y/n’s number was held by a new owner. I’m sorry, darling. This is all I was given. I’m sure you will be able to contact her father.

His fingers hover over the call button, head pounding and heart beating uncontrollably. 

Does he still get the right to talk to you after he left you? After he had left you for his dying ex? 

Is he still worth something to you? 

D-2.

“Sunghoon, just make the damn call,” Heeseung grows worried at his friend who makes himself hyper focused on his finals for tomorrow, not batting him an eye as he wrote through his notes. “You’ll regret it if you don’t do it sooner, Hoon.” 

“I’ve been regretting not doing everything I can with her, Heeseung. I think I will just have to live with that,” 

Heeseung groans in frustration as he gets Sunghoon’s notes from him to get his attention. 

“Fine.” Heeseung clenches his jaw. “I know where y/n is.” Sunghoon suddenly stands up and furrows his brows, scoffing at his friend. “Before you say anything, y/n didn’t want me to say anything to you, just like Seol-in.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Heeseung?” Sunghoon pushes Heeseung harshly and brushes his hair back in frustration, all the anger building up in him. “Where is she?” 

“Sunghoon.” 

“Where is she?!” 

“I’ll take you to her once you successfully finish your last exam tomorrow, Hoon. And after you get permission from his dad.” Heeseung places his notes back down on his table and opens his phone on the contact his fingers have been hovering over for a day already. “Call me once you do. Then I’ll take you to her in an instant.” 

Heeseung turns around to make his leave, but Sunghoon stops him with his sob.

“Is y/n… okay?” He sobs out, chest heavy with all the questions he bore in mind since the day he last saw you.

“Y/n…” Heeseung sighs, “...just take your exam and text her father fast, Sunghoon.” And with that, Heeseung closes the door behind him to avoid more of his friend’s questions and to avoid making Sunghoon see that he was also on the verge of crying, too. 

D-1.

“He said… I can visit tomorrow,” Sunghoon shows your father’s text to Heeseung, as Heeseung sighs. He nods at Sunghoon and pats his shoulder, giving him a smile. 

“Pack your things, then. We’ll drive in a few hours. It’s a long one,” Heeseung tears up at the thought, proud of his friend but also ready for everything happening the next day. He calls up Seol-in to update her and she asks him to brief Sunghoon up on the way there.

But seeing Sunghoon happy and giddy and jumpy… broke him. He runs out of Sunghoon’s apartment to calm himself down, leaving Sunghoon confused but he packs with a smile anyway. He sees himself on the rooftop, cursing the gods for what fate has brought you two. He thinks, since he was on the rooftop and was shouting, he’ll be able to relay his message clearer and louder. 

Because how come you’ve only lasted this long until Sunghoon has come back to you? 

The friend he made along with Sunghoon— how come you were leaving them? 

He breaks down on the rooftop, his cries unheard— closer to the heavens than to any other person on the ground. Once he had calmed down, he made his way back to Sunghoon’s flat, seeing he had already packed up… a lot. 

“Where have you been?” Sunghoon smiles at him giddily, presenting his packed things. “I didn’t know what to pack since you didn’t say anything else, so I packed nearly everything.” 

Heeseung makes his way around Sunghoon’s things when he realizes he packed many useless things, such as the jacket he was meant to give you, necklaces he meant to give you, everything he meant to give you. Whether it was packed food, clothes– everything. 

“Sunghoon…” He mumbles, tears starting to well up again. “...you don’t need to bring these.” 

“Why? I have to give all those to y/n!” He pouts at Heeseung and shoos him away, double checking his things. 

“You don’t need to, Sunghoon. Just bring some clothes, and yourself.” But Sunghoon doesn’t listen, so it ticks Heeseung off. “I said you don’t need to, Sunghoon!” 

Sunghoon stops as he looks at Heeseung weirdly, sighing.

“What the hell? Why are you being aggressive and why the hell are you crying?” Sunghoon questions as he steps closer to his friend, scrunching his forehead and sensing that there’s something definitely wrong going on. “What is it?”

“Get your packed clothes, and let’s go.” Heeseung wipes his tears away and gets his keys, leaving Sunghoon once again to walk first to his car. 

“Can you just tell me what the hell’s going on?” Sunghoon feels something unpleasant down in his chest since Heeseung was continuously crying and not uttering a word, an hour in through their drive and only with a bag of clothes behind them. “That I didn’t even need to bring what I got for y/n? And would you please stop crying? It’s dangerous while you’re driving,” 

“Sunghoon, whatever happens, I’ll be with you, okay? Seol-in too,” He starts, his voice sad as he glances at Sunghoon. “Y/n… is weak.” 

“The fuck do you mean?” Sunghoon perks in his seat, turning to Heeseung. 

“She’s been very sick, Sunghoon. Since she was a kid. And now… she’s barely holding on to life and her father’s been saying that she only lives out waiting for you every second of every day.” Sunghoon’s life stops right then and there, feeling his heart not beat faster but slower, as if you had just taken life years from him. What do you mean you’re sick? What do you mean you’re also sick? What do you mean you still let him stay with Chung-ah even though you were counting days as well? What do you mean? 

“W-what the hell, Heeseung… Not a good fucking joke,” He utters out, staring outside the window. 

“She was someone who’s prohibited to do anything exciting, and feel anything exciting, or too saddening, or anything extreme. She was not supposed to…” Heeseung explains, putting his car in the emergency parking because he was not able to tell this while driving because of his own tears. “But that day… she had a major attack, something they haven’t seen before that they thought they were going to lose y/n much earlier than they expected.” 

Sunghoon had tears uncontrollably leaving his eyes as he was reminded of everything. He had signs, unbelievably many times, but he was dumb enough to ignore it. 

Like how you were not supposed to be surprised at any cost. Like how you didn’t drink coffee even though you always lick your lips when you see it. Like how you’re only eating fruits and vegetables. Like how you said you literally cannot breathe when he took you out. Like when you didn’t go to school for days straight and when you did you looked almost nothing like you did when you first talked. Like how after that day you stumbled ‘on your own feet’ while walking straight. 

How can he not know?

“Y/n always said it’s not your fault, Sunghoon. So don’t blame yourself for it,” He didn’t even realize Heeseung had continued driving, calmed himself. 

He cannot bring himself to be angry at anyone but himself, so his voice was low.

“How can it not be me, Heeseung? When I was the one closest to her for that one month? When she showed me she was also holding on to life but I didn’t even bother asking? How can I not blame myself for it, Heeseung?” He cries out, massaging his forehead. 

“You’ll know later, Sunghoon.” Heeseung smiles at him, “You’ll know.” 

Sunghoon thought he had no tears left to cry after Chung-ah. Because after all, he promised to come back to you. To always come back to you. And he was going to. He had just cried a lot because of course, Chung-ah, but also the time he had lost with you. 

You also had golden time, time he should not have taken for granted, but how come he’s only getting to cherish everything now? 

D-0

“We’re here…” Heeseung parks his car outside of a humble house, and Sunghoon had never felt so nervous and happy and devastated at the same time. “We can go once you’re ready.” Heeseung waits outside his car as he also prepares himself, waiting for Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon, meanwhile, was breathing heavily to calm himself. He was strong. He should show you he is. That way, you can leave with no worries. And that he should not be wasting any second now of a golden chance. 

Sunghoon opens the car door and smiles at Heeseung, nodding at him. They both sigh in agreement and finally make their way inside, as they’re welcomed by Seol-in.

“She’s upstairs.” Seol-in already had red eyes and nose, still weeping as she hugged herself. She was finally going to see what her best friend has been waiting hopefully for, nodding at Sunghoon. Sunghoon makes his way upstairs slowly, Heeseung and Seol-in following closely behind. Heeseung smiles at Seol-in sweetly as he takes her by his side, rubbing her arms to calm her down.

Sunghoon is welcomed and greeted by her father outside her door, glasses fogged up from his tears that he muffles. When he meets eyes with Sunghoon, he immediately pulls him into a fatherly hug and pats him.

“Thank you, son."

Sunghoon nods at him and can’t help his eyes well up with tears, breathing heavily yet again as he takes ahold of the knob. 

He takes a step inside and finally, finally sees you, your back facing him as you sit on a wheelchair, looking out the balcony. He had realized the view was the mountain you had gone together before, only further and clearing of the clouds was happening just after the sunset. 

Sunghoon muffles his cries with the back of his palm before he makes his way to you, at first, unable to take even another step. He looks around, just not at you, because god it still hasn’t sunk in him.

“Go, son. She’s been waiting for you.” Your father encourages him, with Heeseung and Seol-in behind him. He nods, sighing out softly and deeply once again before he takes a step, and another, and another…

“My love,” Sunghoon mumbles out, softly placing his palm on your shoulder. He was so scared of holding you, feeling you’re so fragile to even touch. But when your face lights up and your lips turn to an even bigger smile, Sunghoon drops on his knees to hold both of your hands and kiss them. It was the same position you had back then, but now, you were both smiling.

“You’re here,” You mumble out, and he can see the way your chest is heaving up and down to help you substitute your talking. “I knew you were coming back.” You cup his cheeks and rub it with your thumb, scrunching your nose. “I waited for you.”

“I know you did.” He takes ahold of your hand that held his cheeks, burrowing himself to it because this was the warmth he had missed. 

“Can you transfer me to the seat? I want to sit beside you,” 

“Why? Am I covering your view? I told you, I should be in it,” He strikes the same pose he did when you had a date, earning a laugh from you as he chuckles. 

“And I told you I memorized each of your features.” You boop his nose and he finally transfers you out of your wheelchair to the sofa beside you, sitting as well. You comfortably lean your head on his shoulder, sighing in contentment. 

He takes a minute before he sighs as well, holding your hand.

“I missed you,” You say, smiling.

“I missed you too, y/n… I…” His voice shakes, and once again, he looks faraway to stop his tears. He should look strong. He should appear strong. “...I’m sorry,” 

“Shh,” You pat his hand, “Let’s not make this time to be apologetic to each other, dear. We know and we understand,” You rub his hand reassuringly, but Sunghoon continues to be a disappointment to himself by continuously crying. So you had no choice but to face him with much strength, grabbing his face to face you. 

“I love you, y/n.” He managed to breathe out, his lips quivering. “I love you so much,” 

“I do, too, Sunghoon.” You smile at him. “So much. I love you,” 

“And I’m still deeply sorry,” Sunghoon shakes his head softly between your hands, but you hold your smile.

“No, Sunghoon. You don’t need to be because it was my choice.” You explain, “Thank you, Sunghoon. Because I got to hold and had the love you dearly had for me, I was able to last further than what I was promised,” You sigh out, going back to your position as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Thank you for giving me that. For giving me life… And for keeping your promise.” 

Sunghoon feels contented and ecstatic as he just let it all out, the anxiety, the regrets, everything. What was important was now he was here beside you, and he was always going to be. He lets your warmth embrace his, for the last time. He was able to say everything he had wanted to say, and he feels contented. 

“And now that you’re back as you promised… I’m really happy… I think I can rest peacefully now.” Sunghoon nods and sighs in preparedness. He was prepared. He was okay with it. He’ll be okay. 

“You did so well holding out, y/n.” He pats your hand, then rubs your cheeks as he feels your eyes drape down. “You did so so well. You can rest now,” 

“I’m sleepy, Sunghoon.” Sunghoon’s eyes drift towards the view as he hums your favorite song to lull you to sleep. 

And when he feels your hand slowly break away from his, followed by the warmth he loved slowly fading away from the cold… he stops. He softly places a kiss on your forehead. 

“I love you. Goodnight, dear.” 

To, Park Sunghoon

Ever since we were freshies, I had always had my eye on you. If you weren’t so famous, I would’ve straight up asked you out already. That is one of the biggest regrets of my life. For not asking you out sooner. 

Because what if I did? Would you have agreed?

When I first introduced the offer to you, I didn’t even think about it twice. When I heard I’ve got months to live, I wanted you to be part of it. Because you were such a big part of my college! And my college was a big part of my life! Should I just give up it like that?

When you declined, of course I was heartbroken. And when you told me that it had wrong impressions of intentions, it broke my heart more. I should’ve thought about what you have felt if I put you in that situation, so I’m sorry. 

Sunghoon, you were such an eye candy. How come anyone -not- like you? And when we’ve finally started hanging out, you were much more than being an eye candy. You’re a bright person who have so much love to give and receive, a person who tries his best at everything, a person who, when fails, does not easily back down. A person who’s really easy to love. 

Sunghoon, I love you.

Please, please, please do not blame yourself for anything. It was my choice to keep it from you, my choice to let you stay with Chung-ah. 

The twenty days was much more than what you could’ve possibly given me. 

I love you, my dear. 

Will always do. Always will. 

Take care of yourself for me?

Love, 

y/n.