#the insane amount of character work that comes through here

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

From the request HERE

Fandom: Call of Duty

Character(s): Simon Riley, Reader

Summary: Only a few more days are left of his short leave and Simon is determined to make every last second count with you. What better way to start the day than buried in between your thighs, helping you wake up by the feeling of his tongue alone and then overstimming you.

Word Count: 4.6 k

Warnings:

The sun has just started to peek itself through the small gap in the blinds covering the window, illuminating the bedroom in enough light that it causes Simon to stir awake with the first signs of life as those brown eyes flutter a few times from the brightness until he comes back into consciousness. Rubbing his bare chest and scratching at the patch of hair on his lower abdomen as he rolls over onto his side to face the other body lying peacefully asleep, his breath hitches at the sight that he’s greeted with. 

Your long eyelashes rest delicately against your cheek, your chest slowly rising and falling with your deep, calm inhales and exhales as you still drift mindlessly through your dreams. The covers that are pulled up to your breasts conceal your naked form lying just underneath and the way they cling to your form allows him to follow the contours of your body through the fabric. You are a fucking picture of peaceful beauty.

Damn, you are so perfect he cannot look away and suddenly there is a tenting forming beneath the covers still wrapped around his lower half. It’s not his fault; how is he supposed to keep himself restrained when this is what he gets to wake up to? An ache situates itself in his chest, a gnawing blooming in his stomach to caress all that flawlessness. It is a hunger that only grows stronger the more he gazes until he is compelled to get up.

There are only so many days left in the short bit of leave he has and he wants to make every single second count. That’s why you both find yourselves naked even as you sleep; he needs his body to memorize the way yours feels against his and he needs to fuck you whenever the moment strikes, so there is no sense in wasting any amount of time with superfluous things when you both are about to go months without seeing one another. And right now that is working to his benefit as he wants to shower you with some extra attention to start the day.

Just a taste won’t hurt, he thinks, knowing full well that once he starts there is no stopping. Just till she wakes up.

He moves out from the warmth at your side as carefully as he can to ensure that his movements don’t wake you, not yet. The blanket slips from his unclothed hips as he shifts up onto his knees and positions himself over you, his hands atop the mattress on either side of your body so that he can push himself down your sleeping form while his lips take advantage of all that uncovered skin. Feathery light kisses trail down across the supple flesh of your breasts and over your soft torso as his hot mouth presses delicately into you in adoration for all this beauty that he gets to have all to himself. 

All these curves, all this smooth, voluptuous skin always ready for him to caress, it is enough to drive him insane.

Muscles ripple through his bare back as he continues down the line of your body, inching slowly so as not to miss any patch of flesh. He is careful not to drag his face too harshly as he goes along so that the stubble on his jaw won’t prick your skin, opting instead to pick his head up off you as he moves only to lower it back down at the next spot ready to receive his attention. Your skin is heated from being snuggled down in the bed and it invites him to nuzzle his nose into it as he goes.

Simon eventually reaches the edge of the covers that have fallen around your waist from him getting up and he has to lift them out of the way to reveal the rest of your gorgeous body to his yearning mouth. Rolling them back at a leisurely pace, he makes sure not to reveal too much so the cooler air outside of the blanket doesn’t have a chance to make you uncomfortable until the warmth from his lips can keep the skin flushed. Over the curve of your waist, your stomach, your hip bones he places his steamy kisses. It is when he gets to your belly button that the anticipation finally hits him that he is getting closer to his favorite spot: that beautiful place in between your thighs.

The mattress creaks under his weight as he arrives at the foot of the bed so that he can remove the covers and push them off your legs. He can feel his cock throb as he pulls them back and finds what he’s always pining for. A heavy exhale falls from his lips and his mouth begins to salivate as he catches that first glimpse of your legs laying splayed open and that sweet little pussy just there waiting for his mouth to embrace.  

Simon can’t ever get his fill of it and God, he needs it so bad now that he sees it again. For a split second he thinks about making his movements more pronounced to wake you up, but a sudden intrusion of an idea makes him stop. You had mentioned recently that you were wanting to try something, to be woken up with his tongue lapping against your clit. What kind of man would he be if he never indulged his sweetheart’s fantasies? Today seems as good a day as any to make your dreams come true, not that he ever needs an excuse to get lost in all that goodness between your legs. 

There are times when he is so ravenous for your cunt that nothing else will even come close to satisfying that beast inside him, but today he doesn’t want it to be about the harsh and rough… well, not yet; this morning is all about making you so delirious and overstimulated off his tongue only that you won’t be able to get out of bed at all and he can keep you all to himself for the entire fucking day.  

Quietly Simon slides himself off the edge of the bed to situate himself kneeling on the carpet so that he can lay his torso on the mattress, giving him a better angle to be able to move in. Your legs are positioned open in such a way that from here he can easily slip his face up in between them and right against you, but he is in no rush. Ever so gently he pins more tender kisses along the soft, supple muscles of your inner thighs, his lips embracing your flesh with silent promises that everything he is fixing to do he is going to do for you only because you deserve it. 

His pretty girl, his sweet thing, so perfectly made as if just for him; fuck, do you make him want to worship the ground you walk on. 

His eyes catch the goosebumps forming under his breath along your body wherever he places his warm mouth and he cannot help but smile at your automatic physical reaction to him. Even in sleep you know his touch and respond to it. 

“My sweet girl,” he whispers in his husky morning voice into your calf as he continues up the length of your leg. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect, so goddamn beautiful. I’m one lucky bastard and I ain’t eva’ gonna forget it.” 

He continues on without hesitation as he slides all the way up until he is right at the threshold of those delicate petals that he wants his mouth on. A moist heat meets his lips as he leans in and places kiss after kiss to them; never has something felt so perfect pressed against him. If Simon could live between your legs permanently, they would never fucking find the man again. 

One of those beefy arms he slips under your leg to prop it up and move it even further out of his way so that he has as much space to work as he needs. Restraining himself from going in fast and heavy isn’t easy, but what he wants is to keep his movements relaxed, not crazed and insatiable like on occasions when he’s had a bad day and just needs to smother against you. No, you deserve the full princess treatment from him and that is what you are going to get. Taking the opposite hand not around your thigh, he uses two of those long, thick fingers to delicately spread apart the lips to get at all that lays in waiting inside.

“There she is,” Simon sighs quietly as he immediately spots that sweet little bean that he desperately wants to suck until it’s swollen and throbbing and then even more until you are coming on his face.

He doesn’t go right for the kill first, instead building the anticipation of your body as he kisses that crease between your petals and your thigh, using his balmy breath to stimulate that sensitive area as he switches sides a few times until he feels you twitch and only then does he continue. Gathering up all the spit in his mouth he collects it on his tongue and presses it through your petals to coat the area until your body can take over. As he pushes that thick muscle into you he catches the sound of a quick rush of air escaping through your nose, followed by a sleepy sigh as you stir.

His movements are tender and intimate, circling the nub with the tip of his tongue and slowly using the pad to make love to your clit. You sigh again heavier this time as you begin to squirm in your sleep the more he strokes, your hips rocking faintly over his face as the sound of your fingers clawing at the fitted sheet is caught. Just a little more stimulation and you aren’t going to be able to stay asleep much longer.

Your quiet, breathy moans become more than whispers now and those amber eyes dart back up to your face over the curves of your body, desperate to watch the subtle changes that ripple across your features as he works at bringing you into consciousness by your pleasure alone so he can witness the very moment you wake. 

There is a brightness on the other side of your shut eyelids as you slowly slip back into the realm of consciousness, the sound of your own muted groans filling the quiet around you along with something else you cannot quite distinguish and it feels like you are still dreaming. Then it hits you: there is a familiar glowing, warm sensation in the pit of your stomach that amplifies as you continue waking. Your eyes flutter open as the sensation is so intense that you can’t ignore it anymore and as you look around to gather your bearings you notice that there is a blonde-haired head rocking undisturbed between your thighs.

As you focus you realize that he is staring right back at you and the corners of his eyes crinkle as you feel his lips upturn against your petals; you know he’s pleased with himself at what he is doing. He doesn’t stop or try to speak, he only tightens his grip around your thigh that he has propped on his shoulder and continues to service your clit with his tongue while he presses his face in tighter so that the pressure adds to the stimulation. 

The sensation is damn near overwhelming now and you realize that he must have been at this for a bit as it feels like you are about to come. Your head falls back heavy against the pillow as your eyes close to allow the feeling to wash over you completely, needy moans unable to be kept under control fill what was once the silence in the room. 

That’s when you feel his lips lock around your clit before he sucks down on it and using the very tip of his tongue he twirls around the bud while his fingers come back into play. He finds your entrances and gently shoves his middle finger inside to rub across your G spot and instantly you can feel your calm shatter into pieces. A euphoric spasm shoots through your entire body, making your limbs start to tingle, and you know by the feeling that it is only a few more moments that remain until you are going to spill.

“Simon, shit…gonna come,” you whimper his name as you grind your head into the pillow. To have so much ecstasy hit you all at once overwhelms you with its intensity and leaves you unable to function. You are about to come, that is all your half-asleep brain can process. 

With a few more strokes of that strong muscle and a few more flicks of his finger resting inside you, the pressure building at the base of your spine and the warmth gathering in the pit of your stomach reach their threshold and you spill over the edge with a strong jolt that causes your back to arch up off the bed as you cry out. The force of it makes you buck against Simon’s face, but he is ready and digs his fingers in full force until his hold on you is so secure that he isn’t going anywhere as you ride out wave after wave of your orgasm that crashes over you like a tidal wave. 

Fuck, what a way to start the day.

In your sleepy, mind-numbed state, you forget just how voracious your military man can be and mistakenly believe that at any moment he is going to emerge from your thighs and come lay beside you…except instead of letting you go, he doesn’t stop. Simon keeps at it, only slowing his pace down to almost nothing, but not pulling away from you. Instead he sneaks quick breaths by tilting his head to the side so that it exposes his nose to the air before he buries it right back in against your now dripping slit. 

“Simon, baby,” you call groggily down to him as you try to wriggle free of his grasp; it’s the only thing you can do to persuade him to release you, “you can take it easy. It’s still early, we got all day.”

Just a second, you need to take a break only so long as to catch your breath.

Simon hears your pleas, but it falls on deaf ears as he does not even budge. His plan is already set in motion and you are not nearly exhausted enough for him to even think about stopping yet. This day needs to stay in the forefront of your mind for at least a few weeks after he leaves and be the specific memory that fuels your desperate masterbating while he’s gone and not able to fix the ache.

“Shh…” he hushes mutedly against you. “I only have a few more days with ya and I wanna give ya my full attention. And this mornin’ I wanna take care of ya. I’m gonna take care a ya so fuckin’ good, baby.”

Is there a way to say no to that? If there is, you can’t find it and don’t want to. Even through the overly sensitive nature of your body right now, you don’t want to deny him a thing, not when he says it like that. And to be honest now that he has you at his mercy, his tongue still stroking along the line of your slit before coming back up to circle the nub, you are starting to want it again too.

Tiny beads of sweat like mist cover over your body as the feeling of Simon’s arms slithering up your torso are felt running through the perspiration, greedy hands searching for your chest without being able to see. Grabbing onto as much of your supple breasts as can fit in his large palms he pinches the nipples and rolls them between his thumb and forefinger to make your heated body burn until you whine out loud as they stiffen at his touch.

“Shi-i-it, Simon,” you say, your speech starting to slur together as the mindless haze floods your thoughts from the activity at your chest that radiates in waves of arousal you can feel throb in your clit. Keep sucking, keep playing with my tits, don’t stop, your mind screams.    

Everything outside this is like a distant memory; your body is floating and your mind drunk as you exist only in a world made of pure ecstasy. Your hand reaches down around his arms across your torso to the back of his head where you can press and push him in tighter to your pussy and you hear Simon hum a deep, contented sigh at the feeling of you forcing him to suffocate even more. 

Tha’s it baby, drown me, he thinks to himself as some feral part of his brain gets activated. 

There is movement in the mattress that shakes your body up and down as Simon begins to grind his aching cock against it, trying to use the friction to relieve some of the pressure in the swollen tip. Hearing your beautiful music while being smothered in your pussy is like a religious experience that is akin to having heaven on earth. 

Your glistening thighs are vibrating around Simon's ears and as each flick of his tongue finds its mark you are brought closer to climaxing again as you spiral into sensory overload. Over and over he engages with your core, his mouth filling with your sweet juices, the tip of his tongue playing in such a way it feels like he is signing his name on his favorite part of you. 

His name is falling from your lips in pathetic whines now as the only word you can recall in the fog of euphoria that you are trapped in. Every inch of you is wrapped in a cold sweat that feels like you’re about to burst into flames, the muscles in your belly contract rigid as the pressure in your spine increases with every stroke.  

Right there, it’s right there. You have to come to release the tension.

And that tightness finally snaps just like that and you come again, this time harsher and more intense than the last. Your thighs lock tightly around Simon’s head as you writhe wildly, your body struggling to take all that immense euphoria that fills up every inch of you.

Lengthy seconds pass as you come back down from that high while the sounds of your whimpers act as a gauge to the man crushed in your leg lock how long he will have left to stay suffocating. Once you settle back down again into the pillows and release his head from your hold does he actually emerge fully to sit up for the first time since he went down. 

Twice is enough, right? For anyone else it would be, but for Simon you know the man is still craving more. He wipes away the accumulation of cum and spit glinting in the morning light off the hairs on his chin onto the sheet he has picked up, a contented grin filling his beautifully stark features as he sets the damp fabric aside and stalks back up onto the bed like a lion ready to pounce. Stray kisses embrace your lower abdomen as he sets himself into position kneeling between your legs. 

“Ya ready for more a’ me, baby?” he asks, though not waiting long enough for an answer before he is gripping into your hips to pull your body down over him until your butt rests on top of his thighs. 

You shake your head back and forth. “Too much, t-too much,” you plead, but that isn’t going to do anything and you know it. He is ravenous.

Simon licks his raw, swollen lips. “But you’re takin’ it all so fuckin’ well. Your legs aren’t even shakin’ that bad yet, sweetheart. Said I was gonna take care ‘a ya good and I think that means ya need more.”

You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry at the thought of going again. “I can’t…I can’t…” you continue, the back of your head digging into the pillow. His fingers run along your inner thighs to send shockwaves of overwhelming ecstasy shooting up your spine to the top of your head and your mouth struggles to form the rest of the words. “Just give me a minute. Please, Si. I don’t think I can go anymore.” 

“Yes ya can, beautiful; you’re not done,” he grunts with a sharp inhale as he takes your legs in his grip and lifts them up so that he can rest your calves over his shoulders in a way that will strap you to him. Looking down at you through the gap in your legs he flashes a toothy, mischievous grin that has you shivering with anticipation as the heat from his breath rolls over your stomach. “Come on, sweetheart, I know ya ‘ave a little more in ya. You’re gonna take it all for me, yeah? I want ya ta fuckin’ soak me.”

You’re screwed.

Nodding your head in agreement, he immediately leans his face in until his nose can nuzzle against that overstimulated button and your back harshly arches right off the mattress, hands gripping with iron strength into the bundled up sheets you’ve gathered in your fists. Those long, rough fingers holding up your sides drive deeper into your hips so that you can’t slip away from his face while you buck roughly as the movements of his tongue settle back into a steady rhythm again.

So velvety soft, so warm, so moist, it makes his engorged cock throb hard and can feel it prod into your butt. He is overtaken by a desperate, burning need that floods his veins like wildfire; he wants to bury his face even deeper into you as if he is trying to fuse himself with your body. That feeling in him is unleashed in all its fury and he laps at your cunt faster and harder with each passing minute and your already weakened body is overwhelmed. 

“Fuckin’ breathe, sweet thing,” he says in a deep, desperate growl, ripping his face from within you for only long enough to speak the order, as he looks down to see the mixture of pain and pleasure ripple through your brow before he is right back in. 

Hot tears are stinging at the rims of your eyes now as your overly sensitive clit is stimulated again, collecting until they finally break over the edge to stream out from the corners and down over your cheeks. Simon stares at them glinting in crystalline drops as they catch the light from the window before they disappear and gather on the pillow behind your head and goddamn are they so beautiful they nearly stop his heart. 

This is it, this is the one that will do you in and his mission will finally be accomplished. He is pushing your body to its limit of what it can handle and you take it all so gorgeously. To see his sweet thing so out of her goddamn mind is something he hopes will be ingrained in his memory for the rest of his miserable life. 

The heels of your feet dig into the sides of his bare torso until his ribs are stinging under the pinpointed pressure. You don’t know if you have another one in you, but just as the thought burrows into your intoxicated mind you can already feel that gathering warmth in the lower part of your abdomen…except… Something is happening, that feeling of orgasmic pleasure bubbling up in your core is similar, but different. 

“Do ya want me ta stop?” he asks with his mouth full, prompted at the feeling.

You whimper pathetically through the tears spilling from the corners of your eyes; as overwhelming as it is, there is no way in hell you can let him stop now. “No,” you say pitifully as you try to push his head back down tighter against you, “don’t, don’t. Please…oh fuck, fuck!!”

“Good girl,” he growls as he dives right back in like he hasn’t already had you twice now.  

It’s too much, the pressure is overwhelmingly too intense. A deep sense of release more extreme than any orgasm you’ve ever experienced leads to a gushing sensation from between your legs and you throw your head back as you squeal loud as ever as it just keeps coming. Your body shakes and twitches as everything you have is released onto his face for the last time.

“There ya go,” he praises in between breaths as he strokes you through it, stopping once you lay limply in his grip. “Ride it out for me.”

Legs shaking, chest heaving, eyes glazed over, cheeks flushed, Simon lowers you back down from his face and notices that his lap is wet and there is a markedly large wet stain soaking into the sheet under you both now. His face is just as coated and Simon is quick to realize what has happened. 

You can barely move at this point, but still turn your face back towards him to be met with a very happy and content man gazing back at you with those fiery auburn eyes as he wipes at the moisture covering face to clean it.

“Goddamn,” he says with a grin as he emerges from the same sheet he used before, “my pretty girl gettin’ so worked up she fuckin’ squirts on my face. Ya do know how ta fuckin’ treat me right, baby.”

You’ve never experienced anything quite like it before and are surprised that you are even able to do it in the first place, but if anyone could make you do it, it would be him. For a split second you feel a little self-conscious at this new development, but the way that Simon looks at you as if you have just hung the stars makes you giggle from the combination of nerves and adrenaline and settle back down.

He crawls back up the bed and drops down exhausted, but completely satisfied beside you and once he settles he reaches out to pull you into his steamy, heated embrace, skin to skin against his chest. His hand cradles the back of your head as he simply gazes into your eyes until your breathing slows and only then does he finally go in to kiss the last part of you he has left to claim.

His lips meet yours softly, but with the entirety of his passion for you. This is his little slice of paradise that he cannot help but feel lucky to have. Out of all the shit he’s had to deal with in his life, he found you and that means something to him. That’s why things like this he will never mind doing, not for you. Not if it’s to keep you satisfied. 

“Ya know, ya make it so fuckin’ hard for me ta leave,” Simon sighs quietly against your lips as the backs of his coarse fingers caress the delicate skin of your cheek in featherlike strokes. “I gotta make it just as hard for ya. Cause I’m gonna miss ya like hell. Still got two days left; gonna make ‘em count, sweetheart.”

Oh, he will… he definitely will. He always does.

[sanemisstalker]

NSFW /// KNY characters who I think cum particularly hard/ a lot. This could have a part two, I'm eepy, srry.

CW/ Non specific gendered/genitalia reader / Cum... like an insane amount of cum / BDSM Dynamic (ENMU)/ Light Gore (ENMU)/ tbh, Enmu. / Cum-swapping (AKAZA)

Sanemi Shinazugawa

-Cums hards AND a lot.

-Sanemi isn't quite sure why is body is the way it is, maybe it's his breath control mixed with the insane amount of testosterone and panic pumping through his veins on the daily, but Sanemi doesn't struggle to get it up.

-he struggles to stay flaccid. He's far more likely to be hard at any given moment. Not that he's excited, his dick is just permanently stuck at half mast. It takes an insane, highly emotional amount to get him entirely flaccid.

-I think Sanemi's orgasm absolutely shreds him everytime, unanimously. Does that stop him from getting it up in another ten minutes? Absolutely not. I just truly think he's a medical anomaly.

-He cums prematurely, but what does it matter? It literally didn't go down, he's still fucking going, now he's just like, in tears about it.

-I think Sanemi's eyes get really wide and he gets lock jaw, and he seethes and he tries to hold back any noise, but it just shreds the poor guys throat, and now he's sore, and it hurts him to moan, but he just can't help it, you feel so fucking good- and all for him? It's all for him?

-Shakes. Sobs. Sounds incredibly desperate, don't let the facade fool you. If he loves you, he's a crier.

-Also physically cums a lot. Not just by how many orgasms, but by how much each time is. I think he's got an obnoxiously low set of balls. He's made to breed, the poor bastard. If he can't let go in you, both of you are covered in it by the end of the night.

-Sanemi has yet to tap out before you.

Kyōjurō Rengoku

-Cums a lot.

-Rengoku has good stamina, but once he cums, he's done for, no more. He can keep going if he really wants to, or if you look like you really need him, but chances are the first round wad more than enough.

-vocal, but in a fatherly way. Sex with Rengoku is probably very... comfortable.

-Until he cums and now you're sticky from your chest to your upper thigh. The range of his shot is insane. He cums buckets, and he barely blinks. His breathing gets a little ragged, and his chest a little shakey, but that's it.

-He needs to go night night after, though. Feeling any amount of joy that doesn't come from stuffing his face does a number on him emotionally and physically. He needs a cuddle and a conversation about... idk, taxes after.

-Won't beg to cum in you, but really, really wants to.

-He always pulls out like a gentleman (if you can be much of a gentleman when you're balls deep), but you can always tell that he wants to see your face so bad when he pumps you full.

-Will not ask. That'd be rude.

-Talks you through your orgasm, but that's another post for another day.

Enmu

-Fuck, I just know he's a screamer. He cums so hard.

-This guy's a fucking mess, but it takes work.

-Enmu is such a good submissive that you're always shocked when he decides to mouth off to you, or when he forgets a command. Not too shocked, though. It's very clearly intentional. It always is.

-He gives himself a bit in between each 'screw up' to make sure he's edged himself mentally properly (very hard, he's almost always some kind of aroused, and he's prone to cumming untouched, so that build up is a little diificult.)

-While he doesn't struggle to ask for things, and his dignity is subzero, Enmu still appreciates a stray chase here and there. After all, it's the only thing mentally stimulating enough for him to cum.

-In any normal dynamic with Enmu, he isn't often left using his dick. So when you've got a spear through his wrists, locking them behind his back, one hand pulling his hair, the other jerking his cock with thoughtless speed-

-Enmu can never cum harder than when he's recieving borderline abuse. His dick looks irritated, going untouched for months previous, and now it's receiving all this attention. Can you blame him for being this loud?

-His legs shake, his whole body recoils. He drools and screams- laughs and wails. He cries with the brightest smile you've ever seen. His hips buck up. You're not being gentle, and he's so, so happy. The orgasm is ripping through every nerve in his body.

-He feels like he's in the sun again.

-He's hoping Muzan can see him look so pathetic. You're just hoping the demon lord stays out of your man's head.

Akaza

-cums like a horse.

-a lover, truly. That's the only word encompassing enough to describe Akaza's efforts sexually. He's a fantastic lover.

-... who can go for hours... days even and never get tired. Every orgasm blows off his shoulders- It's all about you. It always has been, it always will be.

-You've made him cum hard before, it's a rarity, but it's possible... Its just nothing feels as good to him as watching you cum, so he'll do whatever must be done-

-and if that means pumping you full again and again, until you're leaking from every accessible orifice, so be it.

-He'll lick your hole clean, reveling in the way you twitch after your.... you lost count after the fifth one. That won't stop him from tongue fucking you.

-His cum tastes... shockingly good. You like to give him head, and then come up to give him a kiss. He'll pull your tongue down, wanting to see it in your mouth just before you swallow. You always look so proud of yourself. He can't help but reward you with a kiss before you even get it down.

-there's way to much for one swallow. You can barely manage to keep all of it in your mouth while showing him. Your effort is precious, though.

-Akaza looks really good with cum on his lips. It's one of the only times you see him really flustered.

[talk-danmei-to-me]

pls pls pls pls make a list of all danmei people should read. I am thirsty for love and angst and pls be my salvation

Omg I can't say no to that!

Full disclosure, I've only been reading danmei since May. Also, I only read official translations. Others may be able to give a wider range.

But since you asked so nicely, let's go!

1) Yuwu/Remnants of Filth

Obviously, my number 1 is going to be the danmei I spend 80% of my time here trying to convince people to read.

Yuwu is a gift for fans of angst, literally opens with the MC getting stabbed in the heart and Meatbun doesn't let up from there.

Fun fact - the only Meatbun without non-con elements in the primary ship.

Sad fact - it also lacks her usual comedy.

Why I love it: Mo Xi, my princess, genuinely the saddest boy in all of danmei. I'm ridiculously invested in Ximang's quest for happiness.

2) 2ha/Erha/The Husky and his White Cat Shizun

At it's heart (at least to where the official translations are up to) 2ha is a romantic comedy. Tropes you may have found in other danmei hit so good (ghost weddings and shizun fucking).

Fun fact - Has my favourite confession scene out of all danmei I've read.

Sad fact - Being Meatbun's most popular work, you can basically collect spoilers like pokemon cards. Not even ao3 tags are safe.

Why I love it - Meatbun's smut writing is S tier and Mo Ran is one of my favourite protaganists... although he has some competition.

3) Ballad of Sword and Wine

I feel like I need to formally apologise for sleeping on this series after reading the first volume. It’s so, so juicy! Obsessed with the character dynamics and it’s always a winner when the main couple starts to dabble with each other in the first volume. It’s not Meatbun levels of smut peddling but I appreciate Tang Jiu Qing’s hustle. If you love courtly politics, graphic descriptions of violence and the most insane levels of sexual tension you will ever read. You need this danmei in your life.

Fun fact - I am as obsessed with Cezhou as Xiao Chiye is with the nape of Shen Lanzhou’s neck.

Sad fact - The sheer amount of characters will drive you insane.

4) To Rule in a Turbulent World

Enter You Miao! His introduction made me fall in love with him just as fast as I did Mo Ran! There's a reason everyone raves about chapter 3. Hilarious, horny and wholesome. The side characters are amazing, the main couple is adorable and it's giving hints of political powerplays. Also the first danmei I've read that seems to really deliver when it comes to skinship. The main couple literally can't keep their hands to themselves.

Fun fact - I'm only 50% through but I am buying every single Fei Tian Ye Xiang 7 seas is about to release day 1.

Sad fact - there's no pictures. Also I'm not sure how angsty it's going to get.

Bonus: For the toxic yaoi fan in your life

Meatbun's most unhinged work. She's peddling all the toxic smut fans of bl mangas and manhwas will be familiar with. Even though it's modern it made me nostalgic for that reason. He Yu is a clown and I adore him. Meatbun is airing all her kinks with this one and I'm not mad about it.

Fun fact- This is the first modern danmei I've read. Also, one of the more fun uses of the straight man trope I've read.

Sad fact - Vol 3 cliffhanger!

Why I love it - It's just pure Meatbun chaos.

(Am I just exposing myself as a Meatbun stan, probably, but she delivers every time.)

[darling-i-read-it]

Burns

Charlie Swan x fem!reader, Carlisle Cullen x fem!reader 

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: age gap (for both men, both are legal but carlisle is like 223297493 years old so do with that what you’d like lol), burns (second and first degree), doctors office, me knowing too much about twilight 

Author’s Note: IM WRITING A PART 2 RN BUT WANTED TO SEE IF YOU GUYS LIKED THIS <3 I literally randomly had a burst of inspo to write this and i lowkey love it…

Summary: You’re a waitress at the local diner to pay off tuition in the summer. You have a small crush on the chief of police who comes in to get his coffee from you. You thought that was all it was until you met the resident doctor when you have a mishap and now you’re stuck between two incredibly charming men that both have a little crush on you. 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Forks, Washington was under a near constant cover of rain. You were aware of it when you woke up in the morning, prepared to see the dreary weather that greeted you through the window. You could smell the rain on the pavement before it came, see it in the clouds as they hovered above. You were always prepared for it, always ready for it. 

Today, the sun was out. Summer usually calls for something more temperate. You found that those days weren’t necessarily unwelcome, but never your favorite. Everyone went outside when it was sunny. You could see people you hadn’t seen in ages. You never made an effort to see them in the first place for a reason. There was an uncharacteristic amount of skin showing. It may only be mid 70s but everyone suddenly acted like the ocean water was a relief to their burning skin. 

You sweat easily, especially in the diner. The Lodge had little to no air conditioning and the sun brought people in droves. Everyone wanted a bite to eat. They all remembered the diner had milkshakes. It was never a great mix for a waitress. 

You turned the corner on your heel, giving a quaint smile to Cora, your coworker. She looked like she was going to melt away. 

“Do you think anyones gonna leave early today?” she asked quietly behind the counter. You shook your head. She had the coffee pot in her hand and was holding it tightly so it didn’t spill. You looked around the packed diner, laughter bubbling from sections where it normally was silent. You shook your head, giving her a sad look. 

“We’re in for one.” 

“I should’ve called out,” she muttered. “You should’ve called out. This place needs us.” You shook your head. 

“You’ve gotta put food on the table,” you reminded her. She had a kid who was going into middle school. You had met her when Cora brought her in, her headphones stuck in her ears and reading some trashy teen novel. 

“Always the voice of reason,” she muttered. “Plus, you gotta pay tuition.” 

“Don’t remind me.” 

You were going to college in Seattle but always worked the summers back in Forks. You loved the little town despite its insanity. You found that most of it was quiet, even on louder days. Plus, it was always easy to find a job back home. You were practically shoved the waitress apron when you returned this summer. You had been doing it since you graduated high school, always trying to find something to keep yourself occupied. You were coming upon your senior year in college and the extra money helped immensely. 

“Hey, your boyfriends here,” Cora teased. She pushed herself off the counter to refill someone’s coffee cup. You furrowed your brows in confusion even though you knew exactly who she meant. 

You watched as chief of police Charlie Swan walked through the doors with a clink of the bell above his head. He met your eyes and gave you an awkward half wave, which you returned slightly more enthusiastically. He walked up to the counter, squeezing between the people sitting there. Someone said hello to him and he gave them a nod in acknowledgment. 

“You guys are busy today huh?” he questioned, scoffing. 

“Just a bit,” you admitted. His presence never ceased to bring butterflies to your stomach. Maybe you were harboring a small/not so small crush on the sheriff but you tried your best not to show it. You assured Cora it was just something silly for you to feel as you passed through your work day. Still, her eyes lingered on yours as she went around the counter to greet someone else because she knew you were busy. “It’s the sun.” 

“Brings out all the loonies,” he said. 

“I imagine you’re busy out there too.” He was always scanning around to make sure no one was doing anything wrong. His eyes flicked from you to the people beside him, then back to you. 

“Taking my 15.” 

“Just to see lil ol me?” you teased. Even as the words left your mouth you felt self conscious of them. This time though, he gave a half smile. 

“You make the best coffee I’ve ever had,” he promised. You tried not to get flustered. 

“Well, it looks like you need a double today, Sheriff.” 

“Charlie, how many times do I have to tell you?” You rolled your eyes. He leaned against the diner counter even though there were no seats. You turned around, every other table lost in your mind. Cora would help you out until he left.

“Well Charlie, it might be too hot for a hot coffee. You could’ve gone to one of those fancy coffee shops,” you offered, grabbing a coffee pot. 

“Yeah, can you imagine me ordering there? I have a hard enough time with you.” 

“I think I get what you mean by now,” you joked. You poured him a cup and grabbed three sugars and two creams. “Anything else?” 

“You always this quick with your service?” he questioned, looking at the people down the line who hadn’t gotten their food. 

“I’m just the coffee girl with a pretty smile. I don’t control the food orders.” You handed him a stirring stick as he opened his sugar packets. “Plus, you’re the chief of police Charlie. I don’t wanna get arrested.” He chuckled, a real genuine laugh. 

“I think I’ll let you off for this one.” You smiled at your success. The laugh was guaranteed to be the highlight of your shift. 

“Thanks Charlie.” You turned back to the kitchen which was starting to call things out. “Anything else?”

“No ma’am.” He grabbed some cash out of his wallet. “Keep the change.” 

“You’re my favorite customer Charlie,” you joked at his more than generous tip of 100%. He did a little salute with his finger and raised the cup to you. 

“Go do your job otherwise you’re bound to get more angry customers than I am.” 

You nodded once and bowed out of the conversation gracefully. You grabbed the food from behind you and started to bring it out. Cora gave you a look as you passed her, the smile plastered on your face a clear tell of your conversation. 

“Peach cobbler,” you said to one of your regulars. She was a small old lady who always came in on Saturdays, at exactly the same time. You enjoyed talking with her and catching up on her life. She got the same thing each time and the consistency was something you appreciated. “Sorry it’s been slower today Miss. Heidi. The heat has the whole of Forks out!” She shook her head, brushing you off. 

“No worries at all,” she assured you. “It’s not like I’m not gonna come back.” You shared in her shaky laughter. She picked up her fork just as you were about to leave and pointed it at Charlie. “You making heart eyes at the chief over there sweetheart?” You flushed immediately. Maybe you weren’t so great at hiding it. 

“Maybe. But keep your mouth shut Heidi,” you whispered with a smile. She chuckled. Her eyes lingered on Charlie who was finishing his coffee already. He had started a conversation with the man beside him. Charlie seemed to know everyone in town. 

“Aren’t you a little young for him?” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s perfectly constenting and legal,” you assured her. “I’m plenty older than his daughter if that’s what you’re gonna say.” 

“I was gonna mention.” Her eyes wrinkled at the edges, shaking her head. Her movements didn’t feel like she was disagreeing with you. More so that she was gossiping with a friend, just girls being girls. “He had his heart broken by her mother, you know. He’s a good man.” 

“Is that your consent Heidi? Because I don’t even know if he feels the same way.” Your voice was lighthearted. She grabbed your hand, her saggy skin feeling comforting. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much sweetheart.” You scrunched your face a little and shook off her words. You were still on the clock. 

“Enjoy your peach cobbler Heidi.” 

-

You brushed your hair out of your face. The sun had finally subsided for the evening, giving way for the clouds. You embraced their presence, appreciating the way that the cool air felt on your overworked skin. Cora was still hanging around after her shift, waiting for her husband to come pick her up. You sat on the back steps of The Lodge, watching the trees sway. 

“The air feels so crisp,” you muttered. 

“You say the weirdest things,” she grumbled, laughing. She was leaning against the building. “It’s the trees.” 

“I know.” You were going to leave right after work and finally drive back home but you needed a moment to sit and enjoy the day. It had been a long shift. Cora and you were officially trauma bonded. 

“How was the chief?” 

“Good,” you promised. “Sweet.”

“A guy can be sweet and catch criminals?” 

“He’s assertive,” you argued. When Cora laughed she did it with her whole chest. 

“Honey, you’re down bad.” You rolled your eyes and stood up. Cora’s eyes followed you as you did so, turning back to the door inside the diner. “You’re goin back into that hellhole?” 

“Forgot my phone,” you said. “Also, I am not. It’s a work crush. I’m entitled to one! Just like you like the produce guy!” 

“I do not like the produce guy. I think he’s hot. Big difference!” You rolled your eyes as you opened the door back inside. The heat hit you again, unpleasantly. You had to weave through the cooks to get back to the front. You couldn’t remember when you had put your phone down. You were making a phone call during your break. Maybe you had left it on hte steps outside after all? 

“Hey Jerry?!” you called to the cook in the back.

“What?!” 

“You seen my phone?” 

“No! All I’ve seen are burgers!” You rolled your eyes harder this time and dipped underneath the counter to see if you had put it with the sugars and stuff. You let out an annoyed groan when it wasn’t there. 

You turned too quick and ran right into the closing waitress. She was holding a hot pot of coffee and effectively spilled it all over you. You gasped involuntarily, the feeling of scorching coffee seeping through your clothes. The gasp turned into a seethe as you packed up. You could hear her speaking, the high pitched, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” reverberating off your eardrums. You had dropped coffee on yourself before. All you could think of was that you needed a towel and some cold water. 

You turned on a dime and walked back to the kitchen. You turned on the sink back there and fumbled your hand around for a towel to use. 

“Jerry, towel,” you mumbled, the burning skin now setting into a tingle. He turned his head around and saw you. He started to fumble around. You walked in front of him to grab the towel and just barely lost your balance, causing your hand to fly up onto the table. 

Right onto the stove. 

This time you yelped. The coffee was already forgotten as there was now more of an issue at hand. 

“Woah dollface!” Jerry exclaimed. He grabbed your wrist because you were just staring at your red hand. You had put your entire palm down. You looked up at him, tears staining your eyes from pain, and he brought you over to the sink. 

“Oh fuck,” you groaned as he put it under the cold water. It didn’t subside any pain, just added another sensation. “Jerry that hurts!” 

“Hey Y/N, I have your phone in my apron.” Cora came through the door to witness you breathing heavily next to the sink, Jerry the cook practically holding you down. 

“She burned her hand on the stove,” he explained. 

“She spilled coffee on me,” you blubbered childishly. You could feel all your body parts at once, like you were on fire. You had no brain power to say anything else. 

“Oh Jesus,” Cora muttered. She rushed forward, grabbing your wrist to look at it. “You gotta get this checked out honey.” You gave her a somber looking face. “I know, I know. I’ll take you. Where’s your car keys?” You reached in your apron with your non burnt hand. It was soaking wet from the coffee. 

“Is she okay?” the waitress asked, sticking her head through the window. 

“She burned her hand on the stove,” Jerry said. 

“She what?!” 

Cora put her hand on your back, leading you out the door. You took deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You were fine. You were gonna be fine. 

“I’ll be okay,” you whispered. “You have to g-”

“I’ll have Steven do it,” she said. Her husband. You gave her a look of pure thankfulness as she helped you into the passenger seat of her car. 

“I really don’t have to go to the hospital over this,” you tried to say. 

“I know you don’t. But I think it’s safer than waiting.” You put your head against your headrest. 

-

Cora dragged you by your free arm to the front desk. She was the one who gave your name and your information as you stood beside her, holding your hand. You looked like a mess, given the coffee all over you. You were sure this could all just be fixed by some water and ointment from the store but Cora insisted. 

She rambled on about how a family member hadn’t gone in for a burn and it ended up being more severe then they thought, damaging below the skin. Her words were not comforting. 

Eventually they called you back to be looked at. You sat on an exam table with a thin paper on top. A nurse had come in to check on you and give you something for your hand while you waited for the doctor. 

You were in a row of beds. Cora pulled the curtains aside to give you privacy. 

“I really don’t think that’s necessary,” you said. 

“They don't get to know all your business. HIPAA or whatever.” You squinted. 

“I don’t think-” 

“Ladies.” Carlisle Cullen stepped through the curtain at the open side. He was holding a clipboard, a charming smile plastered on his face. Your breath hitched at the sight of him. He was gorgeous. “Y/N, I hear you burned your hand.” You nodded. 

“And her chest,” Cora muttered. She must have noticed Carlisle’s looks as well. Or maybe she just noticed your reaction to him. You cleared your throat. 

“I had coffee spilled on me.” 

“No, you should check it out. It’s bad.” You gave a look. Carlisle’s smile remained, shaking his head. You had heard of him but never had a reason to come out and see him. You wouldn’t even call this a valid reason. 

“Sounds like an awful case of bad luck.” You nodded. “Can I take a look?” He sat on a spinny chair and pulled it towards you. You extended your hand to him. 

“I’m gonna go call Steven,” she said to you. You nodded. She patted your back, her eyes lingering on your doctor even as she left. Carlisle held your hand in his, gently looking it over. You looked down at him. 

“A stove did this?” 

“Yeah. It was dumb,” you promised. “I lost my balance looking for a rag for the coffee burn.” 

“And that’s okay?” You nodded. 

“I think. I mean, my hand feels way worse,” you assured him. 

“Your friend seems to think otherwise.” 

“Cora’s dramatic by nature.” He laughed gently. 

“Well the stove fought back.” He wheeled backwards towards the table beside your bed. “It looks like second degree burns on your hand. I’ll send you home with some ointment for it and you’ll wanna wrap it up so that you don’t get it caught on your clothes or anything.” You nodded. “I’ll wrap it for you first, show you how to do it.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course.” He stood up and fumbled in the desks drawer. “Are you sure you don’t want me to check on the coffee burns?” He glanced back at you. You looked down at your shirt. It had mostly gotten your stomach. You could still feel pain there, probably driven by the fact you never got to clean it off. 

“If you think it’ll help?”

“Stomach burns are interesting just because of their placement. It’s harder to wrap them. I think it would be beneficial for me to make sure they’re only first degree, if anything.” You nodded. You would listen to him read the phone book. 

“Okay.” He walked back over. Before even touching your shirt he made eye contact with you. 

“Only if you’re comfortable. I can wait till your friend comes back if you want me to.” You shook your head. 

“I’m okay!” you promised. You cleared your throat and grabbed the hem of your shirt. You carefully lifted it up over your torso, holding it just above the wet spot. Carlisle’s eyes went down to your body. 

“You said the hand hurt more?”

“By far.” 

“Can I touch you?” Please. You cleared your throat again. 

“Sure.” He put an icy hand on your hip, lightly brushing your burn with his thumb. 

“How much does that hurt? Scale one to ten?” 

“Five.” He applied more pressure. 

“Now?” 

“Seven. Your hands are really cold, which could be worsening the effects,” you joked. He chuckled, his lips turning up a bit. 

“Sorry about that.” He backed up a bit. You put your shirt back down. “Those are first degree burns. It only hit in some spots. Should feel numb or touchy for a couple days. You can put the ointment there too but you shouldn’t have to wrap it up.”

“The hand needs it.”

“The hand needs it,” he agreed. He had put some stuff on the counter, which he now took in his hands. He squeezed something out a bottle and put a bit of it on his finger, taking your hand back in his. “Let me know if the pressure is too much.” 

You watched him, your free hands fingers curled under the bed you were sitting on. He gently covered your hand, using such a light touch that it was like he was barely there. 

“You’re good at this.” 

“It’s my job,” he said, smiling. “Are you from out of town? I don’t think I’ve had you in here before.” 

“Just lucky,” you quipped. “I go to college in Seattle too so I’m usually out there.” He nodded slowly. 

“Fancy.”

“The drive back is beautiful.” He nodded slowly. His hand lingered on yours as he examined his work. “So is this town.” 

“Do you work at the diner?”

“Yeah! That’s where I got this beauty.” He scooted back, grabbing the bandages.

“I think my son’s seen you there. He’s graduating high school in a year and likes his seclusion,” he explained. 

“Son?” you asked. 

“Edward.” 

“No, I’m just stunned you have a child. You look far too young,” you said, laughing incredibly. He grinned sheepishly. You tried not to think of him being married or the lack of ring on his finger. 

“He’s technically my foster son,” he described. 

“I see. Do you do it all on your own?” You winced. That was aggressive. “I don’t mean to pry.” “It’s alright,” he said, shaking his head, completely cool. “Yes, they’re all under my care. I haven’t found the right one quite yet. Plus, she’d have to take on more than a couple stragglers with me.” His eyes flicked up to yours. They met for a moment longer than they should have. You had to look away. 

“Sounds like a task.” 

“It’s definitely not for everyone.” He tightened your bandage. “There. I’ll send you home with some of this, it’ll be sent to wherever you get your prescriptions.” He stepped back from you. “Try to be careful around stoves next time.”

“Yes sir.” He gave you one more look, a kind hearted smile and then was on his way. You followed him until he was gone out of view. You were glad he hadn’t checked your pulse because you were sure it was beating out of your chest. Cora came around the corner. 

“He’s too old for you too,” she said. You laughed dryly, shaking your head. You could practically still feel his touch on your hand. So gentle. 

“You’ll learn to get used to it,” you teased her. She rolled her eyes. “Were you waiting out there the whole time?” 

“Wanted to give you and Doctor Dreamy some alone time.” 

“You’re such a wingwoman!” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell the Sheriff.” 

Part 2

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

Looking back on the entire show after watching the finale makes me realize just the insane amount of detail and foreshadowing present.

Whenever N’s memory gets brought up, it’s usually paired with him being beheaded

Ep 1: Gets his head blasted off by Uzi and loses 2 hours of memory

Ep 3: Brings up his memory to V who slices his head off

Ep 5: The episode is all about N’s memories and we briefly see his worker drone body missing it’s head when they get to the basement

Ep 8: The Solver rips N’s head off, and after regrowing it, he recalls another memory of the Solver tearing him apart as a worker

The constant emphasis on hands in the show

The disassembly drones having swappable hands

Uzi gets stabbed in the hand in episode one

The Solver and eldritch J with the weird human hand tentacles

The fact that characters are constantly losing hands and arms

V’s weird monster arm from the flashback

The handlights indicating whether a drone is possessed

The constant close ups of whenever N and Uzi hold hands

The secret handshake

Uzi’s hand burning in ep4 and her hand burning as she destroys Cyn’s heart in ep8

The Solver using Tessa’s hand and fingerprint to get past a Captcha Test

The solver powers revolving around hand movement

The hands on Uzi’s wings

Doll’s knife going through Uzi’s hand

Alice chopping Uzi’s finger off

N chopping Uzi’s hand off to save her

There’s more here, and it happens in the other Glitch shows too. For example, Pomni’s glitched hand, the Meta Runner arms being the main catalyst for the conflict in MR, and meme guardians holding hands for power in SMG4

The constant foreshadowing for CynTessa and the little details that make so much more sense in hindsight

Episodes 6 and 7 we see N, V, and J’s yellow eyes reflected in Tessa’s helmet

The creepy apparition of CynTessa in Ep4

Cyn and Tessa having the exact same haircut

The whole entire scene with Tessa and the sentinels

Without the context of ep7, that scene plays out like Uzi’s stress at seeing N get attacked by the Sentinels causes her to be briefly possessed by Solver in order to override the controls

Looking back at it, however, the Solver only fully possessed Uzi when Tessa got bitten by the sentinel. It was trying to save itself not N.

It literally saved itself and disguised the attempt as Uzi trying to protect N. If that’s not a perfect metaphor for who and what the Absolute Solver is, idk what is.

And it did it again at the end of the episode where it yet again it possessed Uzi to get the door open right when the sentinel charged at Tessa.

The Sentinel briefly shutting down and getting confused at what it thought was human blood, and then a few scenes later it comes back and guns directly for Tessa, with her blood no longer working to distract it.

Tessa and Cyn’s matching fondness for N in particular.

Tessa outright beheading a drone in her first introduction which contradicts her character in ep5

Then there’s the Solver/Cyn’s almost stalker-like obsession with N

N being the only DD to not feel pain. J and V grunt and yell when they get stabbed or lose a limb, but N gets ripped apart and doesn’t even blink

Cyn calling N “big brother” which the Solver does as well. V and J are never once called “big sister”.

N being the only DD to have lost his memories, possibly so the Solver could control him better. N is a sweetheart by nature and by continuing to override his memories every time he tries to protect the Workers, the Solver can keep him bloodthirsty and feral.

The weird hologram of Maid V that the Solver used to taunt him

The Cyn hologram hugging him

The Solver purposely exploiting N’s feelings for Uzi to keep him from fully attacking her while she’s possessed.

The whole puppy dog eyes thing

“Your backups will forgive me” and the fact that she has backups of N even before the mansion massacre.

The Solver N, V, and J retain their personalities only because it liked N’s in particular

The fact that it sent the nicest, kindest drone in the entire show to slaughter its own kind

The low, annoyed “Hello Uzi” followed by the high pitched, upbeat “Hi N :D”

How the Solver plays around with Tessa’s corpse and her affection for N

Again with how it plays with N’s relationship with Uzi by using Tessa’s voice to tell him that he has to kill Uzi to save the universe

The Solver using a hologram of N to fuck with Uzi twice

The Solver using the hologram of N to fool V into calling out for him so it could lure the real N out

The Solver’s obsession with N technically never going away. With Cyn as the main host it was a sibling bond, but with Uzi now the main host it’ll likely latch onto her romantic love for N

The absolute insane foreshadowing to Uzi becoming the Solver itself

The occasional reflection of N and V’s yellow eyes in Uzi’s visor

Uzi overwriting Cyn’s admin control and replacing it with her own

Uzi possessing the Solver cameras while in N’s memories, and the cameras having purple eyes

The protagonist’s journey graph in presentation in the very first episode alluding to a big fight and monstrous transformation at the end.

Uzi overpowering CynTessa with her own Solver

Uzi breaking through possession via the powers of angst and teenage rebellion, without even needing the patch like Nori and Yeva

Uzi and Tessa having the same fleshy bat wings

Uzi’s core number being 1001 just like Cyn’s

Uzi’s tail chewing on N’s head for some reason in episode 6, likely foreshadowing to Cyn being in her tail

Uzi possessing Braiden just like the Solver would

Other little details

Uzi’s purple being a perfect complement to N’s yellow which also matches their personalities

The background posters having just the stupidest/funniest notes on them

Uzi’s tail looking like a sentinel head

Lizzy having seemingly infinite phones

The drones treating the school bus like it’s an animal with sentience

Braiden’s head literally always being on fire, even in death

The references to Until Dawn and Friday the Thirteenth in episode 4

The soundtracks having just the stupidest fucking titles (affectionate), with some of them even referencing each other.

N going from being J’s doormat in episode 1 to outright beheading Tessa in episode 7 when he realized she lied to him

The Solver making its biggest mistake asking N to choose “the universe over the life of one little drone” because it didn’t account for the “one little drone” being Cyn, not Uzi

The Protagonist’s Journey chart foreshadowing Nori being alive with the “help from an unexpected source” close to the end of the timeline

Khan going from leaving Uzi for dead to rebuilding her rail gun and directly attacking the Solver in the hopes of saving her

Also Khan’s behavior and bad parenting suddenly making a lot more sense once we finally see a full photo of Nori and realize that Uzi is damn near identical to her mother.

Uzi’s teeth aren’t sharp until after her transformation in ep4

In a roundabout way, the humans on Copper-9 were successful is making something that could stop the Solver, as they caused the incidents that would eventually lead to Nori meeting Khan and passing down her genetics to Uzi

[biscuitboba]

Prepare for a very long wordvomits from yours truly (or just ignore)

The thing about me being so frickin obsessed with luffy and zoro's relationship is that... i just think they really are that compatible and perfect for each other in a way that they just, makes sense 

Like yeah i think one or two ships involving zoro and luffy (other than zolu/luzo) are cute or at least ok, but like the amount of love i have for them is like dust compared to my love for zolu:"D And if i'm being reallyy honest, personally i can't really imagine zoro being with someone else that's not luffy IF luffy is present in his life and vice versa?, like for example i think *insert other luffy ship* is cute, but like zoro can't be present in luffy's life for that ship to actually work for me?? So it's gotta be an alternative universe where they don't meet... I can appreciate the fanarts of the other luffy and zoro ships though, as long as they are not insanely wayyy too out of character?? (i just don't actively seek out content of ships that i'm not crazy about)

Not to state the obvious but luffy is my favorite character in one piece:) and right after him, unsurprisingly it's zoro (zoro used to be my number one when i was younger but now he is number two, but i'm sure zoro is fine with me loving his captain just a little bit more, haha)

When it comes to the ships involving my favorite character(s)... i am actually suuuper picky about it? i have to think very deeply about it, like i only want what's best for them, but also the best for the other person too cuz it can't be one sided! And i literally love both luffy and zoro almost equally? (actually i always love the two characters that i ship cuz i can't ship my favorite character with someone that i dislike) With zoro and luffy i've done a lot of thinking. Like, a lot. I thought about all of their potential love interests, every single one of them, but always arrived at the same conclusion that no one completes them the way they complete each other. Proof? Plz just scroll through my tumblr #zolu or #luzo i literally only talk about their relationship😭 They really are the most perfect person for each other. It's almost like they were made for each other? Everything about them, their principles, their personalites, they just fits

Like they are so insane, because at a surface level they can be interpreted as just platonic (which is a completely fine interpretation for the non zolu people out there!), but when you try to look more into it, on a deeper level, looking at every part of their interactions while considering their characterizations, motivations et cetera, like everything just clicks. Their devotion towards each other, all the little things they say and do relating to each other. They are best friends, they are the captain and the first mate, and maybe they are also something a lil bit more? Sometimes i don't even think i can label their relationship, cause from the outside… their relationship looks so simple, yet not without depth (so much depth!) and nuance. With zolu, you either get them or don't get them at all. One thing for sure is that they work really well together!!

Also, everytime i think about zolu as just friends.. but then i compare my relationship with my best friend(s) to luffy and zoro's relationship... and i don't know, if my best friend treats me the way zoro and luffy treat each other? I fear i will have to drop the "what are we?" question. I'm so serious, like that man? zoro?? He is enamored. Completely whipped- bewitched, body and soul. While on luffy's side, his way of expressing love is more subtle, but i've talked about that before here.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate... but there's also a thin line between platonic and romantic love, and maybe that's why one of my favorite tropes in ships is the one where they start out as friends... (harurin from free, bakudeku, pegoryu, fluri, soriku, cloti, cleon, kimron, percabeth, kataang, lumity, appledash, katyana, korrasami, harlivy, etc #friendstolovers ftw!)

Like luffy and zoro... The god personified and the non believer. Oda is literally so insane for that..

One is very carefree and easy to put his trust in others. And the other is the more rigid one and needs to slowly build his trust. One is the more emotional one. The other is the stoic and more composed one. They share the same values, the same braincells, they can communicate and understand each other even without having to say much.

Their colors complement each other, their zodiac signs are compatible, their personalites can be quite contrasting but they actually blend perfectly. They are different but also the same. No one makes zoro smile as much as luffy, no one else luffy likes to lean on as much as he likes to lean and rely on zoro. No one makes zoro worry as much as luffy, even though luffy himself is very strong. No one luffy trusts with his crew as much as he trusts them with zoro, and his nakama means everything to luffy. They are the happiest when they are together.. fighting side by side, laughing with each other, talking with each other... They respect and understand each other the most. They are just so insane and i am also insane and-

They are the only two strawhats with twin numbers for their birth dates and months. The only two strawhats with CoC. The only two strawhats fighting for the greatest titles (pirate king and world's greatest swordsman respectively) they are the only two strawhats with a lot of parallels (let it be between each other like the hero talk in fishman island, or with the other captains and their first mates, which i kinda(?) have talked about before, here).

Zoro's the only member of his crew that luffy actually tries to find (he doesn’t stumble upon him like how he does with the rest of the strawhats) Zoro is the first person in canon that we see luffy enthusiastically feel it's okay to share his meal with. The first person outside of his family (i consider shanks and his crew, dadan, and makino as part of his found family!) that he cries and worries for (baratie arc). Zoro is the first person that he mentions when he splits up with his crew and the first one he calls whenever they meet again (alabasta, skypiea, punk hazard, zou, etc)

Zoro is luffy's anchor especially during difficult times (e.g. water7), he is luffy's voice of reason (e.g. pre-egghead), and luffy often listens to him (like when zoro gives luffy his assessment of a situation and how he thinks they should handle the situation and luffy immediately agrees to his plan)

And kinda random but meat is like the perfect food for beer! luffy's perfect for zoro!! Meat paired with the right beer can amplify each other's flavors. Even their favorite food (luffy) and drink (zoro) complement each other, like oda are you serious?? and the crazy thing is i'm pretty sure i haven't written down all the things that make me crazy about them

From their deal in shells town, then BOOM! zoro's sacrifice in thriller bark, all the way to luffy's blush, the iconic hug, and whatever tf that "if you're gonna invite our captain to hell, i'll come along as well" // "sorry... now you have no reason to die" bs in wano

Like how can i be normal about the two characters whose dreams have already merged into one that they can no longer achieve their dreams without each other by their side? i'm on my knees crying thinking about the bond between luffy and zoro-

[exaltedfuzz]

What are your thoughts about Gant? Like, his motivations, as a characters, how much of what he does is premeditated/intentionally manipulative?

I really enjoy Gant. He's a fascinating character to me, and there's so much to say on him. I find it hard to describe him, because he's so disingenuous in how he presents himself. It's not that clear if he really means anything he says. But let's try and tackle this...

His motivations. He's self-serving. He says it outright. ("There are only three people I look out for: Me, Myself and I." - Gant)

I think this is being said slightly defensively, but it does hold up. When he kills Neil, it's to cinch the Darke case, but that can't be it. I don't remember if a concrete motive is ever given in game. I need to replay the case. However, I think this unknowable aspect to him is one thing that makes him terrifying. Beneath that jovial charisma, we know he's making Lana's life miserable. ("[withdrawing] was the only way I could make it through the past two years." - Lana) By the time we see her in RFTA, she's at the point where she's what amounts to being at least passively suicidal.

Obviously, she confesses to Bruce's murder to protect Ema through shouldering Gant's crime for him, but I can't help but feel like there's more to it than that. I think she's been incredibly worn down, overworked, and had her personal life and relationships purposefully eroded by him. Gant does whatever is convenient, and he's incredibly comfortable doing so. He outright tells Lana that he killed Bruce, without any idea that she'd tell anyone anything about it. The reason he gets caught in the end is because of her daring to tell Jake, and the whole stunt Jake pulled in the evidence room, iirc. The fact that he doesn't even consider the possibility that Lana would seek assistance kind of says a lot about what he's grown to expect from her.

I think "the legendary duo" as an idea is a crazy power imbalance. A young woman, presumably a very new detective, 24-27, and the deputy chief of police, a man in his 60s with an insane amount of power. Factoring in Lana's own circumstances, being Ema's only caretaker, and constantly falling into being the more mature one in anything interpersonal (Angel says she was always looking out for the other detectives, and that Jake couldn't have ever recovered from Neil's death without Lana's support.) it must have been nice for her to have a partnership where she was the one learning. She says that Gant "was everything [she] aspired to be", and Angel says that Lana hated anything corrupt. (I'm taking Angel's words at face value here, because Angel is shown to be very resentful towards Lana, and not likely to be giving her undue praise.) So, Lana had no idea about the kind of man he really is.

I think, therefore, that his decision to use Lana was very thought out. He knows full well that she respects him, admires his work, but more importantly, that she's nice. She's a character who seems to me like a little bit of a people pleaser. When you look at how all the characters describe what she was like, it's often about what she'd do for other people, and she comes off as being a little naive, maybe. Too private, and too passive.

I think Gant, working closely with her, and being the observant person he is, would pick up on this easily. He knows that Lana shuts up and gets on with it, but also that she's honest and earnest, and she'd need a tipping point to be able to be scared enough to be useful in furthering his career and his ego. So, at the first opportunity he has to make her sweat, when she's blinded by being terrified over whether Ema will be ok, he takes full advantage.

He also would have likely been her friend. So he'd have known she went to law school, and that she was the best. (She seems keen to brag, even in the circumstances at the start of RFTA, so I imagine she'd have been a little smug under normal circumstances). I think her earnestness that we see coming through near the end of the case, when she starts using that leaning forward sprite, would have led to her probably sharing a lot of personal things, which Gant would obviously keep in mind just in case there was ever an opportunity to use this information to his advantage.

Outside of Lana, though, he seems to be a good judge of character. In who he chooses to demote and fire, he fires Angel. He knows that Angel is the "cough-up-queen" (I found out that the Japanese version is "vomit-covered-okyou". Strange.) and that if she's ever on the same case, or in the same workspace as Prosecutor Skye, she'll break her and ruin everything. So Angel is out. She's wily enough to weasel her way back into their proximity, though, using everything she knows she can use as leverage. Jake, as well, isn't outwardly as confrontational as Angel, and he wants him tethered to the place his brother was murdered in, as a sort of reminder that they "found his killer", and he "has justice", I suppose? Maybe so that Jake never has the chance to take a step back from it all and evaluate. Of course, he doesn't factor in Jake and Angel having a relationship outside of office hours, and this enduring friendship giving Jake that chance... Which, actually seems to be a theme with him. I think he probably is a quite lonely man, and doesn't account for people having relationships more complex than coworkers. Maybe because he just doesn't care about anyone else.

I think very little of what he does is excessively premeditated, and everything is in his follow-through. Killing Neil seems entirely opportunistic, and killing Bruce, similarly, was done spur of the moment. I think he works within the framework of believing he knows exactly what pieces he has to play with. He knows how to terrify everyone around him - he puts Jake on the crime scene as a sort of "look what happens", and I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to think that he knew he'd be making Lana fear for her own life by casually telling her to dispose of the body of a coworker she was likely quite close to. He seems very aware of the bargaining chips that he has re:each person. Which makes it interesting that he doesn't care much about Angel, actually! I figure this is because she's a much more canny person, and he knows he'd never be able to shake her, so it's best to just have her out of the way.

I think an interesting line is the bit where the Judge says that he's not the man that he used to know.

Either Gant has always been corrupt, and incredible at keeping himself guarded, as we do see him to be in game, or he really was a good guy. Maybe he saw himself in the earnest, good natured Detective Skye, and the natural progression, therefore, was that she'd become just as corrupt as him. He doesn't factor in her empathy, though. He knows he's terrifying her by getting her to dispose of Bruce, but he doesn't care that her being terrified leads to her making awful body-disposing decisions. She leaves Bruce in the place he put him, she leaves the real weapon at the crime scene, she's witnessed, photographed, and she cuts open her hand. I don't think this was his intention, to frame her. I mean, clearly, Edgeworth was the intended target of the framing, but Lana messed everything up enough to give him a brand new scapegoat. He wouldn't want to dispose of the person who puts the prosecutors office in his pocket, but I think this incident really tanks her value to him in his eyes. He believes he can count on her to do anything, but she has entirely failed this task, so she might just become a liability for anything in future. I think Lana knows this too, which is why she doesn't have any fight in her.

When Lana is free from Gant, she, of course, has her smiling sprite. (My favourite.) But it's not just her being happy, it's her being actually free. She says so. ("A long time since I've felt free of these heavy chains"). Because I draw her so much, I've looked at her sprites a lot, and her smiley one really gets me. It's got the "can't stop smiling" feel to it, with how her eyebrows are held, and how her eyes crinkle. When you look at her normal sprites, she's either got a thousand yard stare or she looks terrified. The judge even asks if she thinks something is amusing, because she's just grinning. It's just cathartic. She's giddy. Usually she's acting out of a (misguided, and slightly self serving) desire to protect Ema, but knowing Gant isn't going to be a presence in her life anymore seems to not just delight her for Ema's sake, but also because she, herself, isn't in the middle of this anymore, and it seems like being happy for herself is something unusual enough for her that it just makes her soft. As well, her hands are in front of her now. So she's not having to hide the blood on them anymore. Anyway. I really like Lana's sprites. This isn't supposed to be about her.

I went on a bit, and I'm sure I repeated myself somewhere, but those are some of my Gant thoughts. He's really interesting to me. Especially the way he interacts with the other characters. Bear in mind this is being written a fair few months after playing RFTA one time...

[jester089]

Hey, hey! Listen, I had an idea.

have a theory in my head that all the characters are alive in the real life, which means they have a chance to get out. so, what would happen if the reader, for example, died in the real life (for example, put on a headset and... I don't know, shot themself..?Like, their body died, but their consciousness managed to end up in the circus), which means that they couldn't refuse the digital circus, because they simply don't have a physical body in the real world.

how would characters react(everyone decided to run away, but I would like to see the reaction of kinger , jax and pomni) if they managed to find a way out (exit), and when they were about to leave, their s/o said that they can't leave it and they have to stay here forever... like, just stay alone in an unknown place forever. but the reader says that everything is fine, and they will love and remember them all all the time? I just want it look little angst yk🫢 ( I prefer romantic)

I can't speak English good, so sorry for translating Ad I done this with translations

Thank you!!

Left behind

I was going to go to bed but then I saw this request. And I just can't keep my lovely readers waiting. Thank you for the request! And don't worry about your English it was perfectly legible. Plus my friend on discord have made me good at deciphering the most unreadable of things. So while reading your request I had some personal ideas/additions. So I'll, write what you wanted with a little of my ideas. You requested from me so I'm going to put my spin on it.

Kinger

You had grown close with Kinger bonding over both being borderline insane, but not abstracted. When a way out was found he didn't want to leave you behind. NO, he wouldn't leave you behind. You had to force him out of the digital realm so that he could live his life. And it hurt, being trapped in this hollow and ghostly version of the place you knew so well. But at least he could move on with his life. Even if it's without you. When the way out was found Caine disappeared for some unknown reason. So you are well and truly alone. No way of escaping, or dying. The only real way to get away from it all is to lose your mind to the point where you basically aren't human anymore. Kinger missed you back in the real world. He tried to move on but it was hard, knowing that your still trapped in that circus. So he went back to put the headset on again. If their's a set way out now he could visit you! But it didn't work. The pc, the vr goggles, the headset. They were gone... You were gone. So no one's coming to help you.

Jax

When the exit was found he tried so hard to just force you through it. (Like that scene from wreck it ralph where he tries to get Penelope out.) But as to be expected it didn't work. He was so stressed, his mind going over so many different outcomes. "If I leave will they still be here?", "I can't just leave them. After all we've been through. Fuck that. HOLY SHIT! I CAN CURSE AGAIN!!." Surprisingly he stayed with you. He stayed for around a month. But the ghost town of a circus clearly started to get to you two. And after that amount of time he started to care less and less. So he left you a note, then left. Didn't even say it to your face. And back in the real world he'll think about you every now and again. But he made it out of that hell. It's not his fault you didn't.

Pomni

Their is a 100% chance she's going to have a breakdown. She stayed determined to find an exit the entire time she was there. And you supported her every step of the way! And she did it! SHE FOUND AN EXIT! And exit... you can't use... She would freak out and be torn between leaving and staying. She gives you one more hug and kiss and promises she'll be back for you. She'll find a way to get you out from the outside! You hold out hope knowing your lovely is going to get you out of this place. You start writing down the days you've lived in a diary till your S/O gets you out. First 6 months are boring but you hold out hope. You know she'll get you out. You trust her. It's been a year. Maybe time works differently in the digital circus and the real world. Two Years now. Still not gonna give up on her cause she isn't going to give up on me!

ˢʰᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵒᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ

ᴵˢ ˢʰᵉ

(Sorry this is so short. I couldn't come up with much and I'm really tired. But I feel like I made at least some 5/10 angst. Hope you enjoyed it!)

xoxo, Jester

[lemonisntreal]

TONE DEAF :: Rosita and Norman <3

The first in a [hopefully] series of redesign + headcanon posts where I give you my take on a character for my AU

I'm grouping the two together because a] a lot of fluff headcanons I have, they share [because they're literally husband and wife]. And b] if I made an individual post for every single character, I... would go insane. So yeah. A bunch of characters are gonna get clumped together.

[FULL MASTERPOST HERE [yet to be made <3]]

HEADCANONS // BACKSTORY ⬇️

Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic [also autistic]

Both of them are the same age, mid to late thirties.

In terms of general intelligence: Rosita has gifted IQ, while Norman is at genius level.

I know. I know Norman seems kinda dim in the movies. But guys [LMAO]. "I know it looks like there's nothing happening behind those eyes, but...... he can make entire computers!"

He's so smart yet so stupid. He's that kind of character. Like he can do all of this super impressive shit, and is super talented and can do math like BOOM done, but he's also kinda a "deer-in-the-headlights" when it comes to life [I LOVE HIM 👹]

Both of them worked hard and have their college degrees almost completely paid off at this point because of the scholarships they earned.

Rosita has a degree in engineering, Norman's a computer scientist.

They're both in STEM, it's just that Rosita likes to handle more of the mechanical aspects of things while Norman's better with the technical stuff, which I think is cute af.

Yin and Yang <3

This dynamic is just how they are too. How they act. Like for example, Rosita can be very to-the-point-

She's very much a problem solver and will get right to it once she understands what she's doing. Like yeah, she often takes a very methodical approach to it [see the scene where she's got all the papers laid out to try and learn to dance- very new territory for her], but once she learns, she gos all in. And EATS.

Norman's gotta have a plan before doing anything, meanwhile. He has a morning routine that can't be interrupted or else his whole day and mood will be thrown off. He reads through a recipe twice before even starting. That kind of stuff.

He's a lot more hesitant to even try.

A lot of people find Norman boring. But Rosita is enraptured by every word he says, she LOVES his long spiels about hyper-specific [and often mundane] things.

AAAA--

Norman is also a closeted DORK. He ran a tabletop games club in highschool with a couple other of his geeky ass friends [he's still into D&D to this day and has introduced Rosita to the game too]

[she's fun to play with, but super competitive. This goes for ANY game, actually, not just D&D. She'll kinda accidentally turn everything into a "contest" due to her inability to not do her very best] [it's mostly inspirational, not annoying, if that makes sense?]

I also wanna say Norman was in a weird amount of drama that he didn't want to be in at this time. Like all of his friends had falling-outs, and he was just always caught in the middle of it.

He's afraid of confrontation [UNLESS IT'S FOR HIS WIFE] [HE STANDS UP FOR HER RAHHHH] [this is gonna happen when I get to rewriting Sing 2, he's NOT just gonna take Crystal calling his WIFE "mommy pig"]

They're sooo "excuse me, he asked for no pickles"

Norman and Rosita technically met in high school, in Junior year when Norman first moved to Calatonia.

WHICH, he and his family did this because this was a point in time where laws having to do with the rights of animals were VERY flimsy, and Calatonia was one of the first and only safe places at the time-- for Pigs especially, actually.

The 3 Little Pigs is deadass CANON TO SING. So Pigs were/are actually a marginalized species in this universe.

[[during the warring period that I have yet to really talk about, they were often victims of the anarchy and poaching, so stigmas and insults around them still exist to this day]]

[[[[see Jimmy Crystal]]]]

So anyway, they "met" in high school- Norman totally crushed on Rosita from afar whenever he'd catch her in volleyball matches-

Rosita had a major tomboy phase throughout high school, slowly falling out of it during college [still only saves dresses and skirts for special occasions really]

[[Fun fact, Rosita is also sapiosexual [attracted to intelligence] [Roxanne Ritchi ahh] ]]

[[Norman is bi]]

They actually got introduced to eachother and had a proper arc when they went to the same college [which might've been a college in Redshore actually? But I'm not 100% sure on that headcanon. It would line up since Rosita's "wanted to perform in Redshore since she was a little kid" and Redshore is obviously a massive city with a lot of notoriety. Idk though- and it's not really that important to the story anyways]

Norman and Rosita had plans together- they were gonna make it big and live freely. Things were looking up with the lawmakers, who were finally repealing a bunch of nasty stuff that was put in place during the war times. And the two had hope that their dreams could actually be accomplished.

Rosita, who was originally gonna play it safe and become an engineer, was now thinking about attempting to become a performer [which Norman has supported since the beginning, he LOVES her singing, and often tells her that she's "better than some of the people I've heard on TV!"]

But. Life got in the way...

Present day, Norman works in Redshore at Crystal Enterprises. He's the head of some sort of organizational team- not really working on what he loves at this point.

And this is because of their children, who were a very sudden appearance in their lives [which is why we see so much struggle in the chaos at the beginning of the movie in this AU]

Rosita stopped everything, and Norman grabbed the first high-ish paying job he could, spending all his spare time on clocking in overtime hours.

The kids are all adopted, and there's only 6 now: Oldest Caspar [13], twin boys Mickey and Moe [11], middle child Kelly [9], little bro Freddy[8], and Zoey the sweet baby sister [6].

They became foster parents after the death of Rosita's sister [this hc is kinda subject to change, but this is the story rn. I'll specify on this later ☝️]

So Rosita's kinda put her life on hold for these babies. She's such a great mom to them, and they love her and Norman so much

But some of the older kids [Caspar specifically] are kinda in a rough phase since they feel like she resents them [which she doesn't], or that she isn't their "real mom" [which she IS]

This is like an E plot in the story, but definitely's gonna get at least a little bit of focus.

Rosita and Norman's marriage is falling apart just a little bit due to burnout, but it'll get better <3 [I can't do anything tragic to these two they're too sweet]

Norman snuggles up to Rosita in his sleep. Rosita starfishes LMAO

They wake up entangled. This is normal.

"Pig piles" are also a thing- there have been several nights where all six children "had nightmares" and so the family of 8 all slept in the same bed.

Norman has the best bond with the two girls out of all the children. They immediately latched onto him to be their level-headed dad.

Rosita can carry two kids at once easily, and often "relocates" them like this :>

She's probably the strongest out of everyone in the troupe if you don't count the potential Meena has. She solos.

She's constantly taking notes on everyone and everything around her. At the theater, you'll catch her tidying stuff up she spots out of the corner of her vision while you're having a conversation with her [she's still listening]. She knows everyones favorite foods, and allergies, and their preferences in things, etc. She's the most attentive and considerate out of all of them [the mom]

She may have a touch of OCD.

She gives the best hugs.

Rosita is also a FANTASTIC cook [not even a headcanon, I'm pretty sure the entire fandom agrees on this one] and often bakes stuff for her sweet-toothed children [and husband]

This is actually how she initially connected with Caspar, who refused to eat or speak at first when they were all placed with Rosita.

Cinnamon rolls.

Kelly will only eat the frosting off the top, and has ruined an entire pan before by doing this.

Rosita actually isn't the biggest fan of chocolate, small detail.

Idk why she just strikes me as not being an enjoyer.

Loves vanilla though. People are furious when she answers "vanilla" with zero hesitation to the chocolate vs vanilla question.

Norman is kinda a hopeless romantic, or at least really enjoys the aesthetic of it [in a sweet and not shallow way ofc], and goes all out every Valentine's Day: balloons, flowers, the works. He's learned that Rosita prefers strawberries over a box of chocolates, however. Has a tradition of getting a fruit basket for her <3

They also have a tradition from all the way back in college, where they go out to eat at specifically the in-universe equivalent of Olive Garden [which was the fanciest thing they could afford at the time] and eat a shared giant plate of spaghetti.

Norman loves coffee. Insists he likes it black but actually prefers a good 50:50 ratio of creamer and coffee.

Norman is also ☝️ lactose intolerant LMAO

[[or would be, if traditional milk was widely accessible/a thing. I say "lactose intolerant" but what I really mean is he's allergic to most milk substitutes- like nuts and soy [gives him tummy ache, not anaphylaxis] ]]

God, parenthesis are carrying me so hard rn.

Stopping here because I'm tired, but I could go ON about these two omg-

Normita forever rahhhh <3

[billiethepumpkin]

Ships in the Night: Tamaki Amajiki

Kinktober Day 3

Warnings: Rated X. This content is intended to be viewed by those aged 18 years or older. If you are a minor, please do not interact.

Contains: Dominant reader. Male masturbation. Voyeurism. Handjob. Male orgasm. Overstimulation. Dacryphilia (crying). Begging.

Author's Note: All characters are written to be aged 18 years or older because I am an old fuck. :)

It had been days since you had even seen each other. 

Suneater was an up and coming hero, and he was on call practically 24/7. He was exhausted by the time he got done with his patrol shifts, and he was often called away in the middle of the night to handle villains. You, on the other hand, were going strong in your own career, and you were just as busy as him. You both worked an insane amount of hours, and you rarely ever had time to spend on yourselves, let alone each other. Even though you lived together, you were like ships passing in the night. 

Amajiki had been exhausted at work. He was out of it, barely able to hold it together as he walked down the street. So now here he was, walking into his apartment earlier than usual because someone had noticed just how tired he was. He practically fell into bed after tugging his shirt over his head and changing into his pajama pants. He had every intention of going to sleep right then and there. 

But then he rolled over. He caught the scent of you on your pillow, the smell of your shampoo tingling his nose. You, his wonderful partner, the one he hadn’t even seen in a week. Even the scent of you brought so many sensations to his body and mind, and his arousal twitched to life. Tamaki tried to ignore it. He tried to just roll back over and go to sleep. But now, you were heavy on his mind, and he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your scent. Your touch. Your kiss. You flooded every corner of his mind, and he couldn’t help but grind against nothing but his pajama pants. 

He gave in to his own needs, and he picked up his phone to find something to watch. Just something to take the edge off, just something to help him feel better until you could get your hands on each other. That would be enough.

Amajiki started to stroke himself. Up and down, faster and faster as he continued on and on. His breathing got heavier, and he could feel himself on the verge of falling over the edge into sweet orgasm. But he just couldn’t. There was something missing. 

And then it walked through the door. 

The bedroom door opened, and Tamaki started to panic. What were you doing home this early? You weren’t usually home for several hours. He had such an urge to escape this situation, somehow. But there was no escape. There was no way out. He just sat there, face glowing bright red and stammering, “Um–, uhh–” over and over. 

In your view, you saw him sitting up against the headboard, looking up at you with warm cheeks, his dick hard in one hand and his phone in the other. You just sighed and smirked, your own cheeks warm now, too. He was so cute, so handsome, the way he looked up at you so innocently. You couldn’t help yourself now. You sat down in your spot on the bed. “Shh,” you hushed, brushing a hair out of his face. “It’s okay, baby,” you whispered, pulling Tamaki onto your lap. You looked up at him, stripped and twitching with excitement. You grabbed his thighs, kneading the muscled flesh that was there. With one hand, you traced gentle lines along his thighs. With the other, you held his face. You began to gently kiss all over Amajiki’s face, over his neck and his chest. “You’re so good, sweet boy,” you cooed. He whimpered a little, both at the nickname and at your touch. “I know, baby,” you said between kisses. “I know you’re so frustrated. Why don’t I help you out, hm?” 

He nodded frantically. “Yes please.”

You smiled up at him. “That’s my good boy,” you said, kissing his lips gently, but still deeply. The kiss lingered, as it lit up your body for both of you. He was desperate for your touch, and Amajiki was squirming on your lap, subconsciously trying to entice you to touch him sooner. You laughed quietly into the kiss, and you wrapped your hand around his length, now throbbing with desire, his arousal leaking from the tip of his cock. 

You could feel yourself twitching, too, wanting desperately for him to feel good for you.

You stroked once. “Good, baby,” you cooed up at him. “You’re doing such a good job for me.” You stroked again, and then a third time, and he whined above you as his cum dribbled from his cock and over your fingers. Amajiki whined loudly, and he squirmed as he made his pleasure known. “Oh, honey,” you whispered. “You were so pent up, huh? You needed that, didn’t you?”

Amajiki nodded again. “Mhm,” he hummed, still squirming and breathing heavily. You saw the blush creep from his cheeks to his ears. He didn’t want it to be over so soon, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to keep going, especially with how sensitive your touch always made him. 

You continued to stroke him, Tamaki’s cum dribbling from your fingers. He moaned and whimpered, so much more sensitive now than when he started. “Do you think you can cum again, Tama?” you asked, your free hand caressing his face. 

Tamaki nodded furiously, and you smirked to yourself. You started to stroke again, more gently this time, and he whimpered above you. You were so fascinated by him, unable to take your eyes off of his face. Suneater, the fierce hero, falling apart for you at every turn. You were fascinated by him, by all the sweet noises he made as you stroked time and time again. 

It was so much. He was so sensitive, and the feeling of your hand around him was so intense. And somehow he just needed more, more, more than he thought he could handle. He grabbed your hand and held it tightly, his grip fervent, but wavering as Tamaki’s pleasure washed over his body. He leaned forward and kissed you, and you could feel his breath heavy on your face. 

When he pulled away, you saw the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. And now Amajiki was embarrassed for an entirely different reason. You were pressed up against him, kissing him so sweetly, making him feel so good, and here he was crying? He wanted to scold his own body for betraying him like this. But it was just so much. He couldn’t describe it any other way. He just felt everything in every corner of his body, and he loved it, but it was just way too much. 

“Hey,” you cooed up at him, stopping your stroking for a minute and stroking his hair. “Do you need me to stop?”

“No!” he answered, just as frantically as he had been before. “No, please. Please touch me more!” His hips squirmed on your lap, and you quickly recognized that he was trying to thrust in your hand. 

You smiled again. “Okay, honey,” you said with your smile plastered across your face. You started to stroke again, and Amajiki sighed at your pleasure. He quickly wiped the tears from his face. 

“Please,” you heard him whisper, “please, please, please.”

“You’re doing so good, baby,” you cooed at him. “Your cock feels so good in my hand. You’re making such pretty noises for me.” You caressed his thighs and hips, and he rested his forehead against yours. Truthfully, he meant to lean in and kiss you, but everything was so intense in that moment that his mind went blank. “I want you to cum for me, baby,” you pleaded. “I want you to feel so good for me. You’re such a good boy for me.”

And just like that, his cock was leaking around your hand again, his white semen covering your fingertips as Tamaki whined and whimpered and squirmed. “Good job, baby,” you whispered, mere centimeters from his face. It was then that his lips finally crashed into yours. 

As Tamaki came down from his orgasm, you leaned to find his shirt discarded on the floor next to the bed. You wiped his cum off of your hand, and you pulled the blanket up over his shoulders. “I miss you,” he confessed, his head now resting on your shoulder. Your fingers ghosted over the skin on his back, and his chest rose and fell heavily. “What are you doing at home?” he said, not picking his head up. 

“I got out of work early,” you said. “I wanted to surprise you.” You wrapped your arms around his waist and locked your fingers behind his back. 

“Mm,” he hummed, nodding his head. His body became heavy on top of yours. “‘M tired,” he confessed. 

You sighed a laugh, and you said, “I can tell.” You kissed his shoulder, then up his neck, and then his cheek. “Why don’t we take a nap?” you suggested. 

Tamaki sighed and nodded, and he allowed himself to fall off your lap and onto his side of the bed. 

You fell asleep with your arms wrapped around his waist, holding him as closely as you possibly could.

It was the best sleep Tamaki had gotten all week.

This work was written by Abigail "Billie" Rothenberger. Please do not copy this work on Tumblr or any other platform.

[asleepinawell]

sorry if this seems a bit out of the blue, but ever since youve been posting about fallen london, im a bit curious about it! What is the game about and where can I get it?

oh no worries! I'm happy to ramble about it

fallen london is a free to play browser game you can find here. the basic premise is that sometime in the 1800's the entire city of london is engulfed in a swarm of bats and then falls through the earth into a cavern a mile below. this is the neath, a huge underground cavern where london sits on the shore of a vast ocean. queen victoria is still around locked in her palace being a typical shitty british monarch, who, amongst other things, decided that 1900 was cancelled and we were just going to have 1899 for a second time

things are a little...different down there. humans are far from the only ones running around. there's devils, rubbery men (think mind flayer vibes), clay men, and the shadowy cloaked figures running the bazaar (and the city) called the masters. death mostly isn't permanent and the dream world is a little too real. also, most importantly, cats can talk! and there are tons of them! and tigers too

it's got victorian, gothic horror, dark humor, lovecraftian vibes. also it's extremely queer as is everything the dev, failbetter games, makes. something I especially appreciate is that you don't have to give your character any particular gender (though you can) and some of the little avatars are very gender neutral:

since it's free to play it comes with the normal things that type of game has such as real money transactions (completely optional and unnecessary for enjoyment (though some of the bonus side stories you can buy are extremely cool)), limited number of actions you can take (max of 20 at a time and refills 1 per 10 minutes). it is definitely grindy too though there's so many things to do (cannot emphasize the insane amount of content enough) I will usually just switch things up every so often

it's single player for the most part but you can ask friends to assist you in certain actions and there are some specific items that can be sent to other players

(if you like the setting but not the free to play part you can check out mask of the rose which is a visual novel they just released set right after london fell. it's a romance but with full aro and ace options (which I actually preferred) and a murder mystery. that one is a normal just buy the whole game deal and I think it's on most platforms. there's also sunless seas and sunless skies which take place in the same world but are a very different type of game and would require their own post. all of these have great writing in them)

but back to fallen london. it works based off of 'storylets', or little short stories when you usually do a skill check to accomplish something in return for advancing the story, levelling your skills, and reward items. you unlock more and more things as you go and get access to new stories and areas. here's an example of one of the little activities and its resolution

since it's a game designed to be able to play endlessly there isn't really a way to lose or game over. you can die but dying is just a minigame of its own and sometimes even a thing to do purposefully. (the only actual way to die is the notorious story called seeking mr eaten's name which you may have seen me post about, which is a very unique story that will permanently erase your character at the end. why you'd ever want to do that would also be its own post. it's pretty hard to stumble on accidentally I think and extremely well-marked as a thing with severe consequences that you probably shouldn't do. or should you...)

anyway I'd definitely recommend giving fallen london a try if you're interested in the premise and aesthetic

[violetasteracademic]

I feel like not enough people have actually sat down and read this article, in order, in its entirety, and fully comprehend the development of this (thoroughly planned and staged ) conversation:

Take a look at those paragraphs. Then read them again. One more time for posterity.

Often times with fated mates, the bonds are intense. Metaphorical. Poetic.

But other times- there are no metaphors. The connection seemingly random.

It's after this addressing that not all mating bonds are poetic, thematic, and some are lacking in literary metaphor and meaningful connection, Sarah explains that sometimes she plans for characters to be together and then she literally cannot force them to be together.

Right now there is actually only one mating bond that even remotely fits the category random, anti-thematic, and lacking literary metaphor connecting the two characters together. There is no power. There is no poetry. Only randomness. And Sarah admits sometimes her plans literally cannot be seen through because of chemistry issues. Lol. Guys.

People who say this could be about Azriel and Elain are completely missing the fact that this entire conversation is about mating bonds. And if you think Azriel and Elain are lacking in a connection of power (even though Azriel is the one who discovered her power while her mate couldn't) or theme (even though the amount of themes actually tying Elain and Azriel together in the books is insane) that is literally irrelevant- because this conversation is about some mating bonds being random and lacking literary theme and deep connection, not just any potential romantic pairings.

Read it again. Then again. Aaaaaaand once more, with feeling.

Leaving the photo of Josh and Sarah here so you can see I'm not cutting or rearranging the interview to create my own context- this is where the conversation develops from there:

It's magic in a way how the characters guide the story no matter how many years in advance she tries to plot. The characters (not the strict decisions of the mating bond) guide the story and wind up with the people that offer them the most growth and joy.

Lol. Guys.

Meanwhile, in Az and Elain land in the books following Elain and L/ucien's mating bond reveal:

Elain and L/ucien in the books following the mating bond reveal:

And now here is the next part of the interview- again I have not cut or rearranged or done anything but snap screenshots in order to show the progression of the conversation. We were talking about the use of mating bonds in Sarah's story in everything leading up until now, and we are still talking about it:

After revealing that sometimes her best laid plans don't work out the way she thought, and even she, the author, actually can't control who is right for whom no matter what her intentions were, she shares that her musings on "fated mates" are not set in stone. In fact, she finds the question and ideas interesting. This is all one continuous conversation about fated mates specifically, not about her relationships or love interests in general. The only idea that Az and Elain are relevant to is: What if I was put with the wrong person?

Let me tell you, if an author considers an idea interesting, something that offers a wealth of ideas to explore, and then rattles off about all of the implications and things she finds interesting about it... Babe. She is already writing about it.

SJM has not hidden in recent interviews (including her most recent), that the promise of a happily ever after is why she is a romance author:

She speaks openly about the reassurance of romance. We all love romance for this. We know that the characters are going to end up together, no matter how difficult their journey is along the way.

However, when it comes to mates, she did not confirm she is a "fated mates" author because of the comfort. She did not say that part of what she likes about fated mates is that you know fate can never be wrong and therefore there is trust and reassurance in the process. In fact, what she said was she finds the concept of agency and choice interesting. She muses on how much there is to be explored about agency and free-will after the interviewer said if God put her with the wrong person, that's none of her business. The conversation of an imperfect process is one that a lot of readers find interesting, and SJM has shut down wacky ideas (like Bryce and Hunt not really being mates) in the past. But here, she not only welcomes the conversation, but expands on everything that fascinates her about it.

This is not a woman who will only have her characters ending up with their mates. In fact, she's been building a massive question over it for years.

Meanwhile, in the books:

Free will. Agency. An imperfect system of matching.

Babes. This is all about Elain and L/ucien. Absolutely no one else.

If you cling to their relationship because SJM is a fated mates author and therefore they have to be together, I fear Sarah J. Maas may not be the author for you. She does not believe that the decisions made even by her about who will wind up together are set in stone. She is the one interested in exploring the concept of fate and free will. We did not invent this. She has never once described why she likes the fated mate trope and therefore exclusively uses it, only why she likes stories about romance and love conquering all.

I promise you, it's okay to subvert tropes. In fact, it's fun. It's hot. It's interesting.

The fact that Sarah still has a wealth of ideas to explore regarding mates and fate after years of telling the same story over and over is, frankly, so exciting. To us. To her. To journalists.

She has not come out here once and stood behind fated mates as a non-negotiable trope with her full chest, be it in the actual books that she writes or the conversations she has in interviews. We've been on this journey of questioning fate, Cauldrons, and learning the consequences of the mistakes made for years.

And it's gonna be sooo goooood.

[cecilscribbles]

From Now, Until the End of Time: An Essay and Character Analysis Disguised as Ship Propaganda

So. You guys really liked that post, huh.

This essay has been a long time coming. I've spent hours awake at night thinking about these two characters, drawn heaps of fanart, I've made Spotify playlists and Pinterest boards, all in an attempt to drown out the urge to eat fiberglass insulation. I love these two, so, so much, and I hope this analysis does them justice.

It’s just under here. vvv

The Past

Starting off with the obvious: these two have history. Bill came into Ford's life at the absolute perfect time. He'd been seemingly betrayed by Stanley, the one person he thought he could count on, he'd been working himself half to death trying to wrangle some decent qualifications out of Backupsmore, and was attempting to make a name for himself in Gravity Falls. Things weren't looking too good. He'd hit a roadblock in his studies, and he felt like he still stuck out, even in a town full of cryptids and outcasts alike. He was getting desperate. He was vulnerable.

Ford often says he wants to become a pioneer, a founding father of science; which isn't necessarily wrong, he isn't lying when he says so, but this ambition really stems from wanting to be accepted and understood. Ford is cripplingly lonely, and you can see how this profound isolation reflects in every aspect of his life and his relationships with others.

So when Bill comes along, it's everything Ford could ask for: validation, understanding, mutual trust, and someone who helps him follow his dream.

They hit it off immediately. “You can call me anything except late for dinner!” “You catch on quick! I think I'm starting to like you, Sixer!” “Perfectly legitimate use of an Oxford comma!” “Jinx! WOW! Get out of my head!” “You first.” This is the first time Ford (and Bill) has clicked with someone in years.

Ford wasn't the only one in need of a relationship like this. Bill, struggling with the guilt of destroying Euclydia, wanted something - or someone - under his control. He wanted to be revered, to be seen as something other than the bad guy. Who better to come across than a lost soul, desperate to feel chosen, to feel special, with a passion for the supernatural?

Even if it wasn’t for long, they worked. They enjoyed each other’s company. And while Bill was using Ford for his own gain, and what they had wasn’t exactly healthy, there were real feelings on both sides.

There still are.

Which is a perfect segue into the next section.

The Present

You wouldn't want to be in a room with these two, would you? They have an absolutely explosive dynamic, an unbelievable amount of tension and chemistry. I think this is because they want to believe they hate each other, but whether they like it or not, they satisfy each other’s cravings and desires. They get the itches the other just can’t scratch. This was especially prominent during the early days of their relationship, but it doesn’t end there.

When Ford needed validation, Bill flattered him endlessly. When he was in shambles after falling through the portal, hunting down Bill gave him a mission to follow. When Bill wanted control, Ford was easily manipulated. When he was bored, he was there for him to play with as much as he so desired.

All of this, and yet: they can’t help but destroy each other.

Ford spiraled into paranoia because of Bill. He constructed the portal he fell into because of Bill. He got captured and tortured because of Bill.

Bill drove himself half insane trying to get Ford to listen to him. He had a drunken meltdown because of Ford. Weirdmaggedon ultimately failed because of Ford!

These two know each other to an uncomfortable degree. They have both been at their most vulnerable with the other person. They know each other’s bodies better than their own (not trying to imply anything here other than possession, but… take it as you will). They know each other's minds better than their own. What they have is messy and toxic and strangely intimate. The bizarre mix of emotions that they feel for each other makes them so interesting to watch.

The Future

The jewel in the crown of an already delectable dynamic; the amount of potential they have.

They’re often toeing some razor-thin line; between platonic and romantic, romantic and sexual, life and death, something and nothing. There are so many ways their relationship can go, so many realities, yet they’re together in every single one.

If one thing went a little different, they could still be together. If Bill had been honest in the beginning, or changed his tactics during Weirdmaggedon, he could have won Ford over. With so much time, so much knowledge of the other person, so much… whatever their twisted version of love is, the possibilities are endless. And I think this is a pretty good place to sign off.

The past, present and future, love and hatred, pain and ecstacy, this dynamic has it all. And the recent release of The Book of Bill only adds fuel to the fire. It's so refreshing to see so many new faces in the community, as well as old ones finally proven right. I didn’t doubt you for a second.

If you’ve made it to the end, thanks! I hope it was worth your time. Stay weird.

- Cecil

[chameleonwritess]

Okay I accidentally got the flambé insanity out of my system on my enstars spam Instagram but I’m still gonna scream about ibayuzu bc I NEED TO….

Listen, I may say things about how awful they are for each other and like ‘lol ibayuzu is their bad ending’ because I love me some toxic yaoi, but hear me out: nah it’s not actually all that toxic OR bad for them, they just need to SIT DOWN AND COMMUNICATE WITHOUT THE DRAMATICS AND THE CONSTANT TRYING TO ONE UP EACH OTHER which is probably not gonna happen because they both love the dramatics and one upping each other too much

Now here’s why: pretty much the ONLY TIME we see Yuzuru get to be himself is when he’s talking to Ibara. Can you imagine how much of a relief it must be to him that FINALLY he can drop the act and SNAP at this Guy? Knowing that a) he can take it because he’s actively encouraged it and is already well aware of exactly how ruthless Yuzuru is capable of being and b) it’s not going to ruin his reputation or leak his background to any fans or higher ups because Ibara needs to keep their history just as secret at Yuzuru. Ibara is so so important to Yuzuru because as much as he can complain about how much he despises him…. He’s not even ALLOWED to express open distaste for anyone else- this is the one person he can be a bitch towards without fear or without having to cover up the bitchiness with feigned niceties (and Yuzuru is such a bitch at heart xoxo)

And now for Ibara. Yuzuru is one of the only people he can ALWAYS trust. He knows Yuzuru’s past, he knows Yuzuru’s mindset better than anyone else and he KNOWS he’s the only one who’s aware of how Yuzuru really feels and works, which gives him the comfort of knowing that Yuzuru isn’t gonna betray him. Yuzuru has nothing to gain from screwing him over and ruining his life or anything else. Sure he’s a thorn in his side when it comes to his sneaky tricks and schemes, but when it comes to being able to breathe freely and not have to battle every day of his life, afraid that everyone around him is just waiting for the opportunity to tear him down and send him right back into the battlefield, he knows that Yuzuru is safe. And I think he’s aware enough by now that Yuzuru does genuinely care about him- favourite pupil privileges and all that.

So basically, Flambé sent me insane because of the amount of mentions about their joint past and the way they instantly retort back to anything the other says. Yuzuru snarkily saying that Ibara must struggle to give gifts because he doesn’t care about anyone else (I smell resentment from the past. Why are you so convinced of that, Yuzuru? You know Ibara just wanted a safe haven- upset that wasn’t you? Upset he chose Nagisa over you???? Upset that he doesn’t care about you like you care about him??????????). We also have Ibara scheming in his own mind and WATCHING for Yuzuru’s reaction. Because Yuzuru doesn’t say anything. We just get a sprite of him narrowing his eyes. And suddenly Ibara’s like ‘haha he noticed! Just as I expected hehe! Can’t get away with anything with Yuzuru around!’… Ibara why are you watching? Why are you waiting and hoping he thwarts you????? (Lmao Perry and Doofenshmirtz ass dynamic) Ibara you don’t need to pretend to be evil just to get Yuzuru to stop you so you have an excuse to enjoy being an idol….. I mean, Yuzuru sees through it and is gonna enable that for you anyway but THERE WAS NO NEED I PROMISE!!

Ugh they make me insane. Read Flambé, y’all!!! It’s also one of my fave Rinne stories because I love love love when an all out over the top dramatic character gets to show a more subdued side and drop the mask for a bit- especially around a specific person (rinniki nation winning) (wow weird thing for the notorious wataei freak to comment on)

And I’m done byeeee

[thetomorrowshow]

intruder

backstory of why jimmy and scott moved out of the super neighborhood in my empires superpowers au!

cw: murder (in SELF-DEFENSE) of an unnamed character, blood/violence, like a decent bit of it, injury, dissociation

~

Scott’s been missing for two days.

Scott’s been missing for two days, and Jimmy isn’t going to wait around doing nothing.

The news had come in the form of a knock on the front door, around 3pm on the first day. Jimmy doesn’t officially live at Scott’s house, but he spends a fair amount of time there, and now he pushes back from the kitchen table and heads to the front door, snapping on the mask that hangs on a hook by the entrance.

“Oh, hi, TJ!” Blossom says when he opens the door to find her on the step, flowers actively winding around in her hair. “Is Major around?”

Jimmy frowns, checks his watch. “Um, he left for work this morning, around eight? He shouldn’t be back until four, at the earliest.”

Why would Blossom be asking him this? Don’t they all have some sort of hero group chat?

“Are you sure?” Blossom’s smile drops. “Did he say he was headed somewhere else?”

“Just to work,” says Jimmy. “Why? What’s up?”

 Blossom bites her lip, the flowers in her hair wilting. “He never showed,” she says. “He isn’t responding to messages.”

That’s enough for Jimmy to shut the door and run back to the table, grabbing his cell phone. Then he returns, pulling it open again. Blossom is still there, looking a little surprised.

Jimmy pulls up his contacts, clicks on the one labeled ‘scott :) - super’ and hits call.

“You’ve reached Major, I’m probably winning a battle right now. Send me a text and I’ll get back to you when I have a moment.”

Straight to voicemail.

That can’t be good.

“Try the Mad King,” Jimmy tells her. “I’m still working until four, but keep me updated. Do you have my number?”

But Blossom never texts him any news.

And Joel tells him, that night, that Scott’s officially missing, and they’re moving Jimmy to a safehouse.

So it isn’t even 8pm when Jimmy finds himself in a small apartment downtown, the dim light of the setting sun half-illuminating the single room.

And Jimmy stays there all night, staring at his phone, as his worry crescendos over and over again, blowing out lightbulbs and spoiling food can by can.

They still haven’t found him in the morning.

Jimmy can do nothing but sit, alone, in this cheap, unused apartment of Joel’s, waiting for some message that his boyfriend has been found.

But there’s nothing, and Jimmy isn’t going to wait around doing nothing when Scott could be getting tortured right now.

Because that’s it, really. When Jimmy went missing, it was because some horrid, insane villain kidnapped him and ran experiments on him and treated him like an animal—

One of the blades on the floor fan comes off, crashing to the bottom of the fan cage.

Jimmy takes a deep breath.

He can’t continue to sit here on the ragged carpet (because there’s no furniture other than a single folding chair and a mattress) while Scott could be going through the exact same things that he had been subjected to.

Or worse, he thinks, pushing back a sickening memory.

So Jimmy packs up his little backpack that he hasn’t actually unpacked yet except to get his toothbrush, grabs the mask he’d left on the kitchen counter (which he balls up and shoves in the pocket of his jeans), and leaves, ready to find Scott.

Where does Scott usually go first?

He covers all of the city, but rarely ventures away from the most densely populated areas. Downtown is one of his favorites to frequent, as well as the pier.

Good thing Jimmy knows downtown like the back of his hand.

He catches the bus like it’s second nature, the schedule practically tattooed on the inside of his eyelids (despite the fact that he rarely rode the bus for fear of causing an accident. He learned it in case anyone ever asked him the bus schedule). He hasn’t spent much time out and about on his own, but he can get around and he’s lived with Lizzie long enough to know how to go somewhere by himself. That doesn’t mean he isn’t careful: he sits at the back of the bus with his back pressed against the window and watches everyone, careful to sort them into threat categories and keep tabs on everyone.

It’s exhausting. It always is.

It isn’t long at all before he leaves the bus at one of Scott’s favorite places—right across the way from the elementary school. Scott heads here first thing most mornings, keeping an eye on the children as they arrive at school.

The mask is scrunched uncomfortably in Jimmy’s pocket. He wishes he could put it on. He hates going out in public—not without at least a baseball cap.

It feels like everyone at this park is watching him.

Any of them could be in league with whoever took Scott. Any of them could have been one of the thugs that worked for Xornoth. Any of them could be someone he hurt in the past.

Every time someone walks past him, Jimmy automatically tenses. That woman could attack him. That man could crush his skull. That child could be a distraction. That man could grab him and pull him into an alley.

Jimmy shoves his hands in his hoodie’s pocket so that he doesn’t have to look at how they tremble. This is why he doesn’t go places alone. This is why he works from home right now.

This is why people need to not get kidnapped. Specifically the people that can help him not panic about being kidnapped.

Right, now, does he usually patrol around the school? Or just wait out front and watch the kids go in?

If he was Scott, what would he do?

Scott would probably patrol. He likes to be moving, likes to show off his skills.

So Jimmy hikes out of the park and crosses the road to the school, following the sidewalk all around the building.

On one side is an alley between some run-down apartments, and Jimmy passes through, keeping a close eye on anything out of place. Any knocked-over trash cans, any smears of dirt or dried blood on buildings, anything that could be the signs of a struggle.

He feels more and more anxious the further down he goes, swallowing back the thrumming of his power within him, the scar at the base of his skull burning.

He can’t cause an accident here. He's next to an elementary school, he can’t risk it.

Can he?

What accidents can he cause here?

Jimmy’s never really reached out with his powers before on purpose—not in a long time, not in a searching way.

But his powers can cause terrible things to happen, things as far away as inside the school, and if his power can know that there’s things that far away to ruin, then can’t he know, too?

So he reaches out into the surrounding buildings.

There are a lot of people here.

That’s the first thing he feels.

There’s hundreds of children in the school, and one of these buildings is an apartment complex, and Jimmy can’t see them or even really sense them? He just . . . knows that they’re there, in some kind of . . . sixth sense?

There are so many other things that he knows are there, but can’t verbalize. He simply knows, to an overwhelming degree, the contents of everything around and maybe there’s a reason he’s never done this before because he thinks he’s going to be sick—

“TJ!”

Jimmy flinches, hears something crash in the distance. He wheels around—this could be it this is the moment he’s kidnapped—, only to find fWhip standing at the mouth of the alley.

“Why are you out and about?” fWhip asks, moseying over, hands in his pockets. “Don’t you usually stay home from the cool parties?”

Right. He knows fWhip. Kind of. fWhip is nice, right? He helped save him.

Jimmy isn’t wearing his mask. Which is fine. It’s fine to not be wearing it, because fWhip recognized him anyways and his secret identity isn’t contingent on a mask anymore.

“Um, I’m looking for Major,” he says, head still spinning a bit. “He usually goes here every morning, and nobody saw him for his whole shift, so if he got kidnapped it was probably near—”

“Wait, Major’s missing?”

Jimmy frowns. “Yeah, did you not hear? He disappeared yesterday.”

fWhip checks over his shoulder, adjusts his goggles. “Okay. Not good. And if Major’s missing, why aren’t you in a safehouse?”

“Well, I was,” Jinmy says, looking down at his feet. How has he been caught already? He just barely left!

“But you couldn’t stick around when Major could be . . . being tortured?” guesses fWhip.

Jimmy shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah,” he says dejectedly. “But I can go back. The Mad King would—”

“Nah, don’t do that. I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. Do you need help looking?”

And before Jimmy can so much as process what he’s said, fWhip is reaching up to the window in the building beside them, testing the latch and finding it open.

“Let’s check out this place,” he suggests, shoving the window open and grabbing the sill, pushing himself up and into the window in an impressive show of upper-body strength.

Jimmy blinks.

He didn’t expect to be joined in his search.

Let alone by fWhip.

“Okay, nobody’s here,” fWhip calls out the window. “You coming?”

“Is there a door?” Jimmy asks halfheartedly.

fWhip shrugs.

Jimmy sighs, grips the windowsill (a bit lower for him than it had been for fWhip), and heaves himself up, legs kicking for purchase on the wall and arms trembling under his weight.

He falls back once, arm scraping a bit against the sill, then manages to pull himself up the second time, his ribcage pressed in painfully against the windowsill, where he hangs for a moment before tipping over and landing in a heap on the other side.

“Try to roll when you come in,” fWhip advises as Jimmy picks himself up. “It’s easier. And way more cool.”

“I’ll remember that,” Jimmy grumbles, brushing the copious streaks of dust off his hoodie.

“So we’re looking at an abandoned first floor of some office building, I think,” fWhip says, flipping a switch on his goggles. “See anything?”

Jimmy looks around. It’s a fairly large space, the concrete ground scarred by the torn-up carpet (some of which still lies in an awkward heap against a wall), a single dead office chair sitting in the middle of the room. Otherwise, there’s some brightly-colored papers in a corner, and—

The front door slams open.

“TJ,” comes a suspicious and familiar voice.

The Mad King is standing in the doorway.

“Rats,” fWhip says, frowning. “Did you follow me?”

“You and Mythics are always up to no good,” Joel tells him dismissively, before turning back to Jimmy, arms crossed. “Why are you here?”

“Um . . . looking for Major?” Jimmy tries.

Joel raises an eyebrow. “With fWhip? Come on, TJ, if you were going to break house arrest it should’ve been with someone respectable.”

“Hey!”

“Come on, back to the safehouse.”

“But—”

“TJ,” Joel says firmly. “We aren’t arguing about this. I’ll keep looking for Major, yeah? You need—”

“But I, I can help!” Jimmy insists. This isn’t fair, he shouldn’t be locked up when his boyfriend could be going through the worst experiences of his life—

“Jimmy,” Joel grits out. fWhip makes a ‘yikes’ face, turns to start going through the neon papers in the corner.

“Since Major has been kidnapped, they will want to get the people he cares about the most—you,” Joel stresses. “They will want to hurt you to get him to give up whatever information they’re looking for. That’s why—”

“I know, I know, but I can defend myself,” argues Jimmy. “It’s—it’s Sc—I mean, it’s Major. I have to help. And I know—”

“You’re helping by staying safe,” says Joel. “I’m not arguing about this, okay?”

“Who would have a bake sale and then put the signs in an abandoned building?” fWhip murmurs, examining one of the said signs.

Which is stupid.

This is stupid.

How does Joel expect him to just sit there?

How can he tell Jimmy to go hide and let Scott get hurt?

But there’s no point in fighting this.

“Maybe there’s some way you can help from the apartment, okay?” Joel says placatingly, and Jimmy rolls his eyes.

“Sure. Fine, take me back, officer.”

“Don’t get an attitude with me, young man,” Joel warns, sputtering jokingly, but Jimmy’s stomach squirms just the slightest bit.

He’s not a child.

“fWhip, I’ll be back here in half an hour, okay?” Joel says. “Let me know if you find anything.”

Then he strides out the door, Jimmy reluctantly following along behind.

-

Joel finds Scott the next day.

It’s a small place, a closed mechanic shop, near the East side of the city, where this particular gang of villains decided to keep him.

Joel finds him by checking the security footage of the elementary school. He sees, in the corner of one of the cameras, a couple of neon signs hanging on the side of the building fWhip and Jimmy had broken into.

Backing it up a little bit, Joel finds the car that carried the people who hung up the signs (something they did several hours before dawn).

And when he tracks down that car, he finds Scott.

Jimmy receives the text that Scott’s been found and instantly calls Lizzie, begging her for a ride home. Lizzie agrees, and when Joel and Scott come through the front door, Jimmy is there waiting, a frozen pizza in the oven.

Jimmy drops everything, his stress releasing in a little burst of power that crashes his phone and knocks all the cushions off the sofa, hurrying toward Scott.

Scott looks absolutely exhausted. His suit is torn here and there, his hair tangled and greasy, his eyelids drooping. But he gives Jimmy a small smile and acquiesces to a gentle hug.

“Glad you’re safe,” Scott murmurs. “I was worried.”

Jimmy chuckles, pitched a little high with nerves. “You were worried? Imagine my state!”

Scott pulls away, plants a small kiss on Jimmy’s lips before tugging off his mask, mouth twisting in a grimace.

There’s a large bruise on his cheek, and a small line of them down his jaw, but he otherwise doesn’t seem to be in very bad condition. Still, Jimmy frets, hands twisting anxiously.

“Where are you hurt? Do you need to get checked out? You really should go to the hospital, just in—”

“I’m fine,” Scott cuts him off. “Just some bruises. It’s all right.”

Even so, Scott stands there patiently, as Jimmy takes in every part of him.

He seems to be telling the truth. Nothing looks broken or like it’s bleeding too badly. He’s holding himself a little gingerly, though, that could be a broken rib—

Jimmy prods at his chest and Scott steps back, hands over himself.

“It’s not broken,” Scott says, teeth gritted. “Joel already tried it. Just a deep bruise.”

“Probably the worst kidnappers I’ve ever seen,” Joel calls from the kitchen, where he’d gone after pushing past the two of them in the hall. “Didn’t even know how to torture him properly.”

Torture? “Scott, I’m so sorry—do you need anything? Should I schedule you a therapy appointment?”

Scott bursts out laughing. “Thank you, baby,” he says. “I’m fine. I promise. Just tired.”

“And an idiot,” adds Joel. “How’d you manage to get kidnapped by such an incompetent lot?”

“Their signs said homemade croissants,” Scott moans, walking into the kitchen as if nothing ever happened (though his arm is still wrapped around his ribs). “You know I love supporting small local businesses.”

“’Twas your downfall,” Joel intones, snickering. “Sorry, mate.”

Jimmy follows awkwardly, not entirely sure how to behave.

Scott’s . . . fine?

He hadn’t even considered that as an outcome. He hadn’t dared to think that Scott might return without severe injuries, without being traumatized by the torture and greatly needing help returning to the real world.

Like Jimmy had been.

He doesn’t know what he can even do.

How can he help Scott when Scott doesn’t need help?

So Jimmy just kind of hovers, near Scott, as he sits there and eats pizza and jokes a little with Joel.

Then Scott leaves to go shower, and Joel shoots Jimmy a sympathetic smile.

“He’s fine,” Joel assures him. “He may be a bit clumsy for a while—his hands were zip-tied pretty tightly together—but he’s really fine.”

It’s hard to believe him.

But Jimmy just nods and resolves to not treat Scott strangely. He’s fine, after all.

If he’s fine, then so is Jimmy.

-

That night, there’s something wrong.

Jimmy wakes up quite suddenly, the odd sixth sense that he’d probed at the other day ringing with the notice that something is off.

He doesn’t know what. He doesn’t know what’s changed in their surroundings, but he knows that it’s not quite right and he needs to be aware of it.

Jimmy blinks open his eyes, glances over to Scott to reassure himself that his partner is safely there.

And leaning over Scott, a knife gleaming in their hand and poised above Scott’s chest, is a person dressed in black.

Jimmy reacts immediately.

He dives over Scott, knocking the man’s arm just as he sinks the knife down—Scott wakes with a cry of pain, the knife carving a jagged line in his chest and up his shoulder as the man is knocked off course.

Jimmy rolls off of Scott, faces the intruder for a brief second.

The intruder spits out a curse, then barrels into Jimmy, brandishing his knife.

Jimmy moves on instinct. He grapples with the man, twists his wrist with the knife—the man slashes at him, but Jimmy twists further until his grip loosens on the hilt, and then he takes the knife.

He spent hours and days and weeks training with Xornoth in knife work and he knows exactly how to attack to injure, which spots are the most painful without being fatal. He stabs the knife into the attacker’s upper arm, then into his side when he howls and twists away, and Jimmy can’t help but show off a bit as he flips the knife to his other hand and drives it into the man’s knee.

The intruder falls to his knees, and Jimmy’s head is pounding with the adrenaline, and he can’t move his focus from taking this man out entirely because he tried to kill Scott—

Jimmy spins around to be behind the man, hands on his throat—the man grabs at his wrists, nails scrabbling against his skin—and sends a burst of power out.

Under his sweaty palms, knife still tucked between the fingers of his right hand, Jimmy feels the man’s neck break. Not just the bone: his vocal cords snap—his muscles fall loose—his throat collapses, and so does the man, falling heavily to the carpet.

Jimmy stands there, panting.

Scott wheezes in pain.

Jimmy fumbles on the bedside table, grabs Scott’s hero phone with fingers slick with blood. He presses the emergency button on the side, holds it down for a solid five seconds.

Then he drops it back on the table, opens one of the drawers to pull out Scott’s mask.

“Jimmy,” Scott gasps, sitting up, clutching his arm over the slash in his shirt. “Are—are you okay?”

Jimmy nods, then he clicks on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in low, yellow light, and surveys Scott.

There’s a sheen of sweat over Scott’s bruised face, his eyes pained and confused (and concerned, and very very worried), but Jimmy barely registers that as his eyes find the wound.

His nightshirt is soaked in blood, spreading out from the slash, and it only takes one glance at the wound for Jimmy to know that it needs a professional to take a look at it. He doesn’t know near enough about injuries to know anything other than that it looks bad.

He leans over Scott (Scott flinches back) and pulls the mask over his face, carefully holding the knife pointed away from him. His hair catches a bit in the eyeholes and Jimmy doesn’t do anything about it.

"Major?" calls a voice from below, and Jimmy spins around, knife held out, as he hears the stairs creak with running footsteps. Was there back-up? No matter. There won’t be, soon.

A pajama-clad Blossom pushes open the door from where it's half-open (Scott always closes the door when they go to bed), her hands flying to her mouth when she takes in the scene. "Oh my gosh—Major, TJ, what happened? Should I call an ambulance? I'll call one—"

"Hello? Is everything okay?"

More footsteps, then Gem appears, mask pulled over tangled hair.

"Hi, we need an ambulance—the address—"

"What happened?" Gem says, echoing Blossom's words as Blossom turns away, one hand covering the ear not pressed to her phone.

Scott pushes himself up further, grimacing. "Intruder," he manages, nodding toward the body on the floor. Gem glances at it, before her eyes fix on Jimmy.

"TJ, sit down—where are you hurt? Where do you guys keep your first aid kit?"

"It's not my blood," Jimmy says, his voice too loud in his ears. He gestures with the knife toward the motionless body, the neck appearing kind of . . . squashed. "I'm fine. Check Major."

"Shoot, the attacker," Gem mutters. "Blossom, tell them that there's two or three people that need—"

"He's dead," Jimmy interrupts. "Don't worry about him. Check Major."

Gem blinks.

Meets Jimmy's eyes.

"Okay," she says after a moment. "I'll check Major. Did you kill him?"

Jimmy swallows.

"He was attacking us," he says stiffly. "He stabbed Major. I acted in self-defense."

Gem moves around and climbs onto Jimmy's empty side of the bed, still keeping an eye on him even as she checks out Scott, pulling away his shirt and asking quiet questions (to which Scott responds, his breath shallow and words faltering).

"The ambulance should be here soon," Blossom says, moving toward the foot of the bed. "TJ, you're covered in blood—set that knife down, let me help you."

"It's not my blood," Jimmy says again. "I'm fine."

"Okay, then—"

"You help Major," Gem says, slipping off the bed and coming back over. "I'll help TJ wash up. C'mon."

Numbly, Jimmy follows her out of the room, checking over his shoulder to make sure Scott is okay. Scott waves him on with the hand that isn’t held to his chest, and Jimmy continues down the hall, into the bathroom.

"We'll have to make this quick," Gem says. "Sit down. And give me that knife."

Jimmy doesn't want to give her the knife. He pulls it back to his chest when she reaches for it, thumbs the blade protectively.

"I need the knife to give it to Major, so that when the police get here we can have a convincing story without you in it. Make sense?"

After considering, Jimmy nods. It makes sense.

And that means he needs to not be here.

He hands over the knife. "I killed him," he says. "If they ask, Major stabbed him three times. Then he fell and broke his neck."

Gem shakes her head. "Okay. Wow. Okay. You know we don't normally kill people, right? Never mind. I'll go give this to Major."

Jimmy glances in the mirror as she steps past. There's blood spattered across his face, more in splashes on his nightshirt and shorts and arms. His eyes, cold and wide, peer back at him out of his pale face.

He needs to get out of here.

Gem returns after two or three minutes, handing Jimmy a jacket (one of Scott’s, he distantly notices).

"Zip that up over the blood, rinse off your hands, and let's go," she says. "We'll head to my place. Blossom will ride with Major in the ambulance. It doesn't look too bad, so he should be okay."

Jimmy obeys, letting Gem turn on the water so he can stick his hands under the cold spray.

For a moment, he's back there—just trying to scrub the blood off his hands from his first intentional murder in the sink with the broken handle.

Then he blinks, looking down at the sink, at the red running off his hands.

"Good enough. Let's go."

-

Joel joins them in Gem's dark kitchen after about two hours, stripping off a pair of gloves. He's fully dressed in his supersuit, his hair unbrushed and his posture stooped, looking more exhausted than ever.

"Gem, you have anything caffeinated?" Joel asks, opening a cupboard.

"Yeah, there's a pot of coffee already made. Mugs are in the left cupboard."

Jimmy watches as Joel finds a mug, fills it up with coffee, and then takes a swig of it black.

"Thanks," he says, face scrunching up at the taste. Joel doesn't like black coffee. Jimmy knows that. He always adds cream and sugar.

"Major's okay," Joel informs them, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table to sit across from them.

Jimmy's been here more or less in silence for the past hour and a half, staring at the wooden table. When they'd first come in, Gem had sent him to wash his hands and arms and face better than he had before, but there's nothing they can do about his sleepclothes, so he's just been sitting here in a blood-spattered t-shirt for a while. Gem had joined him after pulling a hoodie over her pajamas and starting the coffee maker, and has since sat beside him, working on a crossword puzzle.

"Major's okay, he and Blossom are at the hospital now. The intruder was pronounced dead on site. Major identified him as one of the men who kidnapped him."

Jimmy doesn't feel anything.

No sense of satisfaction at knowing that the man truly deserved it, no fear at how close they had been to getting killed, no guilt for his actions.

Nothing.

"TJ," Joel says hesitantly, "how are you doing?"

Jimmy shrugs.

He's still covered in the blood of the man he murdered.

"They say killing is like riding a bike," Jimmy says after a long pause. "You never quite forget how to do it."

Gem sighs. Joel winces.

"Right. Well, we don't really kill people, as a general rule. It's kind of, like, against the law."

The law.

As if the law applies to heroes and villains.

Jimmy's not really sure which one he is right now.

Neither, probably. Which means the law should apply to him, even if it hasn’t stuck in the past.

"I've never really been one to follow the law," Jimmy says.

"Sure, but as a person—"

He isn't a person. If anything was to prove that fact, it would be tonight. He hadn’t thought, he’d just acted, and even now the first feeling that he can even register is the feeling of not feeling. He isn’t a person.

He's a weapon.

He's a pet.

That's the word that triggers his therapy brain.

"I'm in a bad headspace," Jimmy interrupts Joel, using words that he'd rehearsed with Nora. "I don't feel like a person right now. I might be dissociating."

"We have to talk about this," Joel insists. "We can't run away from hard conversations—"

"I promised I would never kill again," Jimmy whispers, and, ah. There’s the panic. Detached and not quite real, but panic nonetheless. "I can't escape it. I'm not—I can't. I'm a weapon, I was made to be a weapon, I—"

"Stop that right now," says Joel firmly. "You are a person, and you just saved someone from being killed. It was self-defense, not mindless."

Jimmy almost laughs, because to some extent, it was mindless. He acted entirely on instinct, following the training Xornoth had given him, whether or not it was self-defense.

He doesn't like hurting people.

He never wanted to go back to being a villain.

It's not even that he's upset about killing that specific man. Screw that man, he tried to kill his boyfriend.

He's really just afraid that now that he's killed one person, he'll keep doing it. It isn’t like anyone can stop him. Nobody can stop him, not even himself, and he wouldn’t even care if his current state has anything to say about it.

"TJ," Gem says carefully, "why did you kill that man?"

Jimmy frowns. Why? "To protect Major."

"Do you have any desire to kill people outside of defense?"

Does he?

He's never had the desire to kill.

Not even when he was getting rewarded for it. Killing was something he did to survive, to escape severe punishment, or accidentally.

And here, he killed to protect. To save his boyfriend. He didn't get any satisfaction out of it. He certainly didn't enjoy it. He doesn't want to do it again.

That cuts through the foggy panic in his mind, the fear that he might keep going, that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

"No," he says, then stronger, "no. I never want to kill. I hate it. I only do it when I have to."

Joel lets out a breath of relief. "Thank goodness. Okay, next issue. You and Major clearly aren't safe here. Do you want to try to stick it out, or should we start moving you two as soon as possible?"

Jimmy hadn't even thought about it.

Of course they aren't safe here—he hadn't been safe alone, when Scott was kidnapped and he had to be moved to the safehouse. Why did he think that things would magically change just because Scott was here? Every villain in the city knows where they live. The rest of the gang that kidnapped Scott could show up on their doorstep at any time, even more angry than before.

Anyone could show up at any time.

Jimmy doesn't feel as secure as he used to feel, surrounded by superheroes as they are.

"We'll move," Jimmy decides. "As soon as Major is back, we're moving. It just isn't safe here."

They’ll move.

Then he’ll deal with this numbness.

-

"Hey!" Jimmy calls, running into the kitchen. "No! You aren't allowed to lift anything more than ten pounds, put that down!"

Scott sighs with an over-dramatic roll of his eyes, sets the box back on the counter. "It's not that heavy. And it doesn't even hurt right now."

"Just because it doesn't hurt doesn't mean it isn't injured, Mister," Jimmy tells him. "You don't want to pull out your stitches."

"You haven't let me help at all. Pearl already handled the actual heavy stuff, let me do something."

Jimmy shakes his head and picks up the box. "That's your own fault for getting stabbed right before we moved."

"We're moving because I got stabbed," Scott points out. "It's not like any of this was planned."

"You should have thought about that before you got stabbed, then."

Scott groans, then reluctantly laughs. "I guess I should have. Can I at least drive?"

Jimmy lets out a very put-upon sigh. "I suppose, since I don't have a driver's license, you can be allowed to drive. But only if you behave yourself."

Scott giggles again. "You're adorable," he says fondly. "You know I'm the Primary Protector of the city, right? I don't think you'd be able to stop me."

"And I killed a man last week," counters Jimmy. "I don't think you want to be on my bad side."

"Oh," Scott says after a moment. "Are we joking about this now?"

Jimmy shrugs. "We're in the laugh-or-cry stage. I'm trying to laugh about it right now."

Scott looks at him. Really, truly, looks at him.

Then he laughs. Just a little bit, but still a laugh.

"I love you," he says. "I'll help you hide the body next time."

Jimmy laughs a little, too, but Scott pauses.

"There . . . isn't going to be a next time, right?" he asks uncertainly.

"Oh, absolutely not. Not unless it's entirely necessary."

Scott nods several times. "Good," he says. “Yep. Cool.”

Jimmy turns back toward the door, box in his arms, and waits until he’s out of the house to huff, shaking his head (though a smile plays on his lips).

They’re okay.

He pushes away the numb feeling that threatens to seep into his brain and thinks and remembers and knows that they’re okay.

That’s good enough for him.

[dr-spectre]

Rating all of Callie's Outfits!!!

I'm bored so i decided to go through most of Callie's different looks, including most from concept art and promotional material, and rate them all on a scale of 1-10.

1 = trash

2 = very bad

3 = bad

4 = below average

5 = mixed

6 = decent

7 = good

8 = great

9 = amazing

10 = perfect

Now I'm not an expert on character design or fashion so i may not have the most insightful and """"objective"""" takes or whatever, but I'm just going off how i feel about the looks. This is very subjective and if you disagree then that's perfectly fine. I also won't be including EVERY SINGLE outfit in every piece of concept art, some of it are just variants of pre existing outfits (Haicalive Kyoto Mix golden outfit, concept art of her squid sisters outfit but with a different pattern) and some are just concepts for the Squid Sisters in general and not "Callie outfits." (Splatoon 1 has a lot of these and uh... they are quite interesting... recommend looking at it on Inkipedia. Very.... interesting indeed.)

Anyways, let's get into it. (Images from Inkipedia)

Splatoon 1 - Squid Sisters Outfit

Rating: 10/10

I think there's a clear reason as to why this outfit is so damn iconic. It's simple yet effective, it stands apart from Marie's outfit while still maintaining the theme of a "j-pop idol." It has a very strong silhouette, eye catching magentas that are complemented by the blue reflective parts on the outfit, and those pumpkin pants fit Callie's personality so insanely well. She looks absolutely adorable and stunning in that outfit.

Splatoon 1 - Young Callie

Rating: 10/10

Do i even need to say anything? LOOK AT HER! SHES SO CUTEEEEE!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!! IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE FROM THE SHEER AMOUNT OF CUTENESS I'M SEEING!!! LOOK AT HER LITTLE KIMONO! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Splatoon 1 - Red Fox Splatfest

Rating 8/10

It's Callie wearing a Christmas hat and a nice red dress. What's not to love?

Splatoon 1 - Fancy Dress

Rating: 9/10

I literally cannot think of a single flaw or dislike about this dress. Maybe the dress is a bit simple? But that's me REALLY pushing it. It's still so fucking beautiful. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL! I NEEEEDDD a 3D model of this ASAP!

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 7/10

I mean, it's pretty good but it's not outstanding you know? Love the heels, the fabric at the back of her waist on the first image, the batwing like skirt on the second one. It definitely has a unique vibe to it I'll give it that. There's a decent amount of good things here, however i don't know how to feel about THAT short of a skirt on Callie. She was 17 at the beginning of Splatoon 1 and some of the dance moves she does involve moving her legs a lot so.... it would have... you know.... issues.... yeahhhh.... I would love to see this outfit get adapted but with some tweaks like maybe a slightly longer skirt, maybe higher heels and leggings that go up more her legs? Maybe her arm wraps on the left image could get rid of the dots and keep the squid head pattern? It's a pretty good outfit and has a unique feel to it, but it needs some tweaks.

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 2

Rating 6/10

The roller skates are actually such an amazing idea for Callie and work well for her, they need to appear on a 3d model, I WANNA SEE CALLIE SKATING AROUND! COME ON! Anyways, this outfit is kinda... okay. The black and pink variant looks the best out of the three in my opinion but idk man, it's kind of just a regular cheerleading outfit. The roller skates give this like 6 points alone lmao.

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 3

Rating: 8/10

This outfit with a few minor tweaks could easily become a 10/10 to be honest. If they either went fully black and white, or changed the white lines on the dress and shoulders to magenta it would look outstanding! Love the flashy sneakers too, it gives the impression that Callie can be both elegant and energetic, which, she is. Also if she had a more fancy piece of headgear that matched the fancy looking dress it would help as well.

Splatoon 2 - Hypno / Octo Callie

Rating: 8/10

I'm gonna be honest with y'all, i used to not like this outfit for Callie. People saw this outfit and said it was fire and amazing, however when i saw it, i saw all the misconceptions, all the misinformation, ruining such an interesting arc, boiling it down to "Callie was kidnapped, overpowered and then brainwashed with evil brain warping shades, being used by the Octarians as some slave and being branded with a tattoo." This outfit made me feel icky and really uncomfortable. Seeing a character i love being boiled down to some abused helpless victim when it's far from what truly happened.

However, after giving another look at it, after taking in all the information and the amount of time i spent trying to piece together her arc and all the events that actually took place beforehand. I gotta say, this outfit is growing a place in my heart. The colors are so strong in this and i can't exactly put my finger as to why. Turning the 3 cut pattern on it's side and putting it on her chest makes her look more "mature" i would say as well. And of course, the shades, they are iconic for a reason. The way the outfit sort of flows from top to bottom is really well done. But I think it kinda needs a few tweaks to make it flow better though, maybe cover up her arms with that leathery material on her chest, make that sparkly material on her legs flow up onto her midriff instead of having an exposed tummy would be kinda sick in my opinion.

It's honestly a damn great interpretation of an "Evil Callie." In the artbook they said that they wanted to make Callie more mature looking and i think they did a good job at it, but it needs some things added to it to help it flow better in my opinion. Also... Don't know how to feel about her underwear just poking out of her hips.... Like damn girl PULL UP DEM SHORTS!

Splatoon 2 - Tentakeel Outpost / Agent 1 Outfit

Rating 7/10

This outfit is just really cute and comfy looking, which makes sense because it's meant to be Callie in a more causal getup and it looks really adorable and warm. It has had a variant in Splatoon 1 where she has pink leggings and a sleeveless design but it has the same rating from me to be honest. The little star on the beanie too is awesome too, it's just such a nice little thing they added and it complements her lovely golden eyes.... so cute.... uh... moving on...

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 6/10

This one is kinda tricky for me to rate because i see what they were going for but... I think it needs some tweaks and a few changes. I think it would be cool to see the glowing pinkish red leggings go all over her body like a skin tight suit up to her shoulders and it would look pretty damn sick i feel. I love the long gloves, the heels, the color scheme is very interesting as well. Overall, it's decent but i think it needs some improvements.

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 2

Rating: 8/10

I can totally imagine Callie chilling out in the beach bases in Octo Canyon with this on. I like how the boots and the bikini match her hair too in color. The fuzzy pink coat is so damn sick too, i love it.

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 3

Rating: 2/10

No... Just straight up, no. You're already giving some people weird and icky implications with the final Hypno Callie design, but this just.... no man.... HOWEVER! The swirly eyes? Good addition, a little generic for a character under hypnosis but i wish they kept the swirly eyes. It would have furthered pushed the idea that Callie is not herself and has descended into villainy and given into the darkness in her head. But at least we got mods! (Look at frequent.squidsisters on instagram to see what i'm talking about. You won't regret it.)

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 4

Rating: 6/10 (sorry for the low quality image i couldn't find a good image of this outfit anywhere)

Just like concept art 1, it's alright, it doesn't help that there isn't a clear enough image of this outfit but, i do love the transparent fabric on her dress? skirt? idk. But it looks nice. Still though the outfit looks a little plain for someone like Callie however it's got a nice color palette.

Splatoon 2 - 1st Anniversary

Rating: 10/10

I don't care what you say, i am the number 1 defender of this outfit, the fucking goofy socks, the blues and reds on her leggings and... bra? Leotard? Is she wearing a leotard under that? (I don't know anything on women's clothing I'm so sorry please don't hurt me....) Her pink lipstick, the necklace, IT'S SO DAMN GOOD! I NEED MORE OF THIS OUTFIT! NOW! I WANT A 3D MODEL TOO! GIVE IT TO ME! NOW!

Also this is the first time Callie has had one of her tentacles in front of her face which comes back later in the next game....

Splatoon 2 - Smash Bros. Splatfest

Rating: 7/10

She do be rocking dem shoes tho i gotta admit. It's good. i don't have much to say. The Smash Bros. earrings fucking rule as well, that's worth 6 points alone.

Splatoon 2 - Squidmas 2019

Rating: 5/10

Eh. It's okay, not really the most "Squidmas" thing you can wear but. The artwork is cute at least. The gang just chilling out, taking a picture, very cute.

Splatoon 2 - Splatoween 2020

Rating: 10/10

The fact that we never got a 3D model of this outfit is a fucking crime in it of itself. The headwear, the web like design on her neck and head, the lipstick, the fingertips, the gothic dress.... those... red eyes.....

She looks so damn hot, I'm sorry but this look is doing things to me that my lawyers are advising me NOT to elaborate on....

Splatoon 2 - Final Fest

Rating 7/10

I decided to break my rule on not covering variants because i really wanted to talk about this look, the gold colors used on this outfit are so damn good and i really cannot describe exactly why, Pearl's crown is such a lovely addition too, i fucking adore it. I can't give this anything higher than a 7 because its just a recolour and a crown and thats it... I really do wish they gave Callie a more unique "chaotic" look to her iconic outfit to match the theme better, but oh well. There's always next time.... which we will get to...

Splatoon 3 - Alterna Outfit

Rating: 10/10

When i tell you that this is my favorite Callie look, ever, do NOT take that lightly.

This outfit, in my personal opinion, is perfection. It combines all the different aspects of Callie's previous major designs into one perfect package. It takes the general shape and silhouette of Splatoon 1 Callie and mixes it with Hypno Callie's leathery and mature appearance, giving us an outfit that shows Callie's class and excitable nature. It's a mature and refined outfit, much like how Callie is in Splatoon 3.

I mean it's hard to fuck up an outfit that's mainly in black and white and thankfully they didn't. The ONLY thing i can somewhat see criticism for is the color choice, but thankfully, we got mods to give her the magenta back and it looks beautiful. I LOVE the silver aspects of the outfit too like the soles of the boots, the silver bandolier across her shoulder and the silver choker. And i like an outfit that has a choker... It does things to me... UM! ANYWAYS! YEAH PERFECT OUTFIT! UH! TOTALLY HAVEN'T TAKEN 100s OF PHOTOS OF HER... YEP! MHM.......

Splatoon 1-3 Pokemon Red Outfit

Rating: 6/10

I decided to put this here because this outfit appears in both Splatoon 1 in Splatfest art as well as in one of the Sunken Scrolls in Splatoon 3. It's a pretty cute outfit, i don't have any strong feelings towards it, it looks nice.

Splatoon 3 - Splatoween

Rating: 9/10

I prefer the other Splatoween outfit that appears in Splatoon 2's artwork but, this is still fucking awesome. She looks like a cute little pumpkin! SHES SO CUTE! The fucking red eyes too oh my GODDDDD!!!! The stitching face paint too!?! Oh man. My ONLY criticism is that the headpiece is too plain. If it was a Jack-o'-lantern or skull or something, it would easily get a 10/10 for sure. But overall, Callie looks like a cute little pumpkin and i wanna eat her up!..............

....not... not in that way tho get your mind out of the gutter-

Splatoon 3 - FrostyFest

Rating: 8/10

A damn great outfit for Callie that makes her look all nice and snuggly. She reminds me a lot of coffee for some reason and just by looking at her I'm craving for a nice cup of coffee. Also the best part of this outfit is that HER NOSE IS RED BECAUSE SHE'S COLD AWWW!! SOMEONE GIVE HER A HOT CHOCOLATE! NOW!

Splatoon 3 - Springfest

Rating: 9/10

This is the most girlypop Callie has ever been. The striped leggings, the eggshell head piece is fucking cute. I don't have any real complaints with this to be honest, maybe its a bit TOO colorful because of the different colored reflections on her body but, that's me REALLY pushing it there. This is such a cute outfit for her. The little face paint too omg....

Splatoon 3 - Summer Nights

Rating: 10/10

You guys know that one image of the monkey staring at the mid section of a woman and it says "neuron activation"? That's literally me. They gave Callie a new outfit that not only looks fantastic with such a great set of colors, shoes, head piece and zippers. But it's also designed to where it makes an outline on the underside of her belly.... nintendo... WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS TO ME!?!?! I try to be all family friendly and level headed and shit but OH MY GOD! You're activating the primal urges in my body, you're making me go fucking feral with this design. YOU CAN'T JUST DO THIS TO ME! YOU'RE CHEATING! You can't just highlight her fucking fupa with that short dress!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY NINTENDO WHYYY!!!! God I'm not ready for the dances moves where she starts spinning around and bending over- UH....

....Anyways, yeah good outfit, love it. The hair? Idk how to feel yet. That's like the one area that isn't turning me on- I MEAN! THE ONE AREA THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT LIKE! AHAHAHA!!!!!!.....

I'm moving on before my made up lawyers yell at me-

Splatoon 3 - News Anchor Outfit

Rating: 10/10

I mean guys. Come on. What do you want me to say about this outfit? It's Callie in a suit. DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY IT'S SO GOOD?!?! WHY DO YOU THINK EVERY SINGLE SPLATOON ARTIST ON THE PLANET MADE ART OF THIS!??! The only thing that i wanna talk about is, what's below Callie's waist? Is it a pencil skirt or pants? This is important information for me. I'm on teams pants because it makes sense for Callie's energetic personality, all the dresses she's worn have either been real short or loose. I don't think she would wear a real tight skirt that restricts her legs but who knows. NINTENDO YOU BETTER ANSWER THIS OR I SWEAR TO GOD-

Splatoon 3 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 7/10

We don't have a lot to go off when it comes to this concept art as it's pretty undetailed and sketchy looking, but looking at what they were trying to go for and giving Callie a post-apocalyptic look, it looks pretty good. Love the puffy sleeves, the gas mask is pretty awesome and the sort of sporty shorts? tights? Fit Callie as well. Don't have much to say other than that.

Splatoon 3 - Concept Art 2

Rating: 8/10

Now this? This is great. The ragged cape, the pants, the boots, the shirt, the fucking shades! This is an awesome look for her and it makes you wonder what kind of story mode were they originally going for. What kind of plans did they have for ROTM? Was it going to be set in the crater instead of Alterna? Hmm...

I would love to see someone give detail to this and make it a full piece of art to bring out it's full potential.

Splatoon 3 - Grand Festival Outfit.

Rating: 9/10

This outfit to me, is ALMOST perfect. She looks like a pretty princess with that cute dress on. I LOVEEEE her spike headdress, the shoes and the pearlescent hair color. However, i do wish there was just more color on the outfit in general, i get why they decided to go with this look because they wanted to have a color scheme that would unify all of the idols together. But, do wish there was some hints of magenta to break up the dull beige, or her iconic 3 squid stripe design she has on her Squid Sisters outfit, oh well!

So that is it for my ratings of MOST of Callie's different looks that she has had over the past 9 years. Callie is such a fashionable character and has rarely had any BAD outfits aside from one that was in concept art anyways.

Hoped you enjoyed my ratings and ramblings (and mildly horny incriminating talkings...) about this squid lady that i love so... so much... maybe a bit too much.... i need help...