#the infection could be idk my brain just doesn’t work and I’m just worried about my mom and feel like I have a right to worry but also feel

[weirdlittlefish]

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

[kkaeyva]

'forever' is for dreamers

𐐪𐑂 summary: xiao learns how to dream.

𐐪𐑂 note: sorry for disappearing for a bit </3 i was working on a few things and now i'm back :) and just in time for xiao's birthday as well <3 happy birthday xiao <3 here's a drabble dedicated to you and THANKS FOR THE CRYSTALFLIES MWA MWAH KISSES XIAO ON THE FOREHEAD

𐐪𐑂 includes: xiao

𐐪𐑂 genre(s): fluff, you could read this as friends to potential lovers but idk, misuse/overuse of the words 'forever' and 'dream' LMAO

𐐪𐑂 word count: 1.5k

xiao does not believe in love.

or, more specifically, he does not believe in mortal emotions.

his arms rest against the railing of the balcony on the top floor of wangshu inn when he senses your presence behind him. your gaze meets his when he turns around to acknowledge you, and a smile appears on your face when he does so.

“xiao!” you call out to him, “so you’re here too, huh?” he moves to the side as to give you room on the railing. he doesn’t respond to you, choosing instead to look out into the horizon. (although, it’s not like he’s ever responded all that often.)

you continue a one-sided conversation, your gaze flickering back and forth between the adeptus beside you and the view before you to watch for a reaction to anything you say.

to anyone else, he certainly seems like he has turned you out or ignored you since your arrival. but you know better— xiao simply isn’t much of a talker. you glance over at him again once you finish up the story you were telling (something about a friend being descended from pirates?) and decide that maybe today he’d appreciate a bit of silence. you catch him as he gives you a look when he realizes you’ve gone quiet (it’s a look of something you can’t discern, unfortunately) but neither of you says anything of it.

a soft smile breaks out on your face as you lean a bit more onto the railing. you don’t know what’s so special about this quiet moment, but the words escape through your mouth faster than you can stop them.

“will we be friends forever, xiao?”

this catches him off guard. you can tell in the way the tips of his fingers twitch just a little, and how he swivels his head to look at you. he simply scoffs and turns back, his words nonchalant and indifferent, “forever is impossible for a mortal like you. you humans should stop romanticizing a concept you will never understand.”

you simply laugh a little at that and gaze out into the scenery once more. “i was thinking you’d say something like that. xiao, the ever-so-predictable adeptus, hm? anyway, i guess i’ll have to keep dreaming.”

he rolls his eyes and you laugh again. the sun is beginning to set and the sky is becoming stained with orange-yellow watercolour hues.

xiao would rather not grasp the concept of human emotions. they get in the way when he is trying to carry out his duties, and so he whisks them away each night as if they are another one of the demons he slays.

but as he sits on the edge of a cliff, staring up at the full moon, his mind wanders to the words you said not long ago. dream? about what? how do you dream about forever, when you’ve only got a bit of time to live?

‘forever’ is not something he could promise to anyone, not even rex lapis.

he’s seen many promises made between the children playing in the streets through the form of hooking pinkies together, and he’s seen promises made between merchants and shopkeepers through the form of paper and pen. above all else, the word ‘forever’ seems to be a common trend with them. what did you mean back then, to keep dreaming about forever? it’s always you that twists and turns his brain into a mess trying to decipher what you mean. why must humans dream about a concept even he can’t put into words yet? would any adeptus be able to describe ‘forever?’ the adepti are immortal, but does that necessarily mean ‘forever?’

he grumbles as he shakes his mind free of those thoughts. it’s not like the moon could give him any answers, anyway.

you’ve gone and done it this time— xiao thinks you’ve infected his mind with your words.

the thing is, xiao does not dream. he tries his hardest not to, he refuses to (weakness like that could spell the end for him.) and what kind of dream would he even have? one of light? one of peace? they are both so, so far out of his reach; he’s better off not thinking about them at all.

he’s pulled out of his trance from the sound of you setting a plate of almond tofu in front of him.

“you’re welcome,” you say as you take a seat across from him. “what’s on your mind? you seemed out of it earlier.”

he shakes his head— a “nothing that a mortal needs to worry about,” leaving his lips— and he digs into his almond tofu. while he would rather eat alone, he supposes he’s come to not mind your presence as much as before. maybe he could get you to explain to him what you meant that day.

he takes a bite of his tofu, relishing in the soft sweetness enveloping his tongue.

it tastes like how he thinks a dream would feel.

oh, and suddenly he understands your words a little more. or so he thinks, of course.

“what do you think this tastes like?” he blurts out, effectively giving you the biggest surprise of your life— how many times had xiao started a conversation before this moment anyway? exactly zero.

“i mean.. it’s sweet? there’s almost in it, so there’s that sort of flavour... what are you trying to ask, xiao?” by this point, you’ve put down your chopsticks, fully invested in this new conversation.

he averts his eyes, seeming to be embarrassed that he’d ask such a thing, but answers you nonetheless (though it was after a few moments of contemplation), “what did you mean that day, when you said you’d continue dreaming about forever? what does ‘forever’ mean?”

he fully expects you to laugh at him— call him foolish for thinking so hard about a throwaway line you gave him— but to his surprise, you answer honestly. (it sends a pang of something unfamiliar to his heart.)

your eyes are soft, and they are understanding. you are a table-width away, but he feels close to you at that moment. he wants to keep this view in his memory until the day he dies.

“‘forever’ has a lot of meanings, y’know? poetry-wise, i mean,” you lean your head against your hand, staring at the adeptus from your side of the table. in this moment, he seems more like a curious boy who simply wonders about the world. “at least for me, my forever is until i’m forgotten. it always has been.”

your forever?

the confusion is evident on his face, causing you to let out a chuckle and continue explaining, “what i mean is that... when i asked you if we’d be friends forever that day, i meant if you would ever forget about me.”

xiao lifts his gaze to meet your eyes, taken aback by your bluntness. how could you say something like that so nonchalantly? weird human.

but perhaps he appreciates this side of you, one that he has never seen in any other mortal he’s met. weird and unpredictable, but always honest and at this point, your voice is comforting enough that he finds himself using it as background noise— a breath of fresh air compared to the malicious thoughts that plague his mind. for a moment, he is allowed to forget about the weight of the bad karma weighing down on his shoulders.

he observes how you simply shrug and start eating your food again, but he senses how on edge you are as you wait for him to answer you. so you were sincerely hoping— no, dreaming— that he would be part of your forever as well. his instincts tell him to say that, unfortunately, he’ll live so long even after you leave and eventually you will be another insignificant memory, but something stops him from doing so. he wants to promise you that ‘forever’ you so dream of. to his own surprise, xiao himself wants to make sure that ‘forever’ rings true, even as he takes his last breath on the battlefield.

“i’ll try not to,” he murmurs, making you let out a questioning “hm?” at his words. and despite the embarrassment bubbling in the pits of his stomach, he clears his throat, “i meant i’ll try not to forget about you. don’t worry.”

he’s met with silence.

he waits with bated breath and finds himself hoping he hasn’t said anything wrong, only to be shocked by how you immediately burst out into laughter.

you look back at him with a wide grin plastered across your face, “thank you, xiao.” it’s a type of smile that he’s never seen you wear before. his body fills with a soft, fuzzy feeling and although it is unfamiliar, he welcomes it fully.

if ‘forever’ is for dreamers, then xiao simply has to dream, no? he’d dream again and again if only he could see that smile of yours over and over. he promises with his entire being to fulfill that dream of yours.

[olivia200312]

Covid~ TFP! Optimus x Sick! Human! Reader *Request*

Requested by the lovely @StardustUltima

Plot: Hi, there! Idk if you're still taking requests, but could you do a TFP Optimus x Sick! Reader where the reader gets Covid and is sick? I just got Covid and am a little bummed out cuz I had to leave the camp I was at. It's totally alright if you don't want to write this. I won't judge! Thank you!

Sorry that you have Covid, requester. It must suck. But I hope that you're feeling better. Many people survived.

Note: the art goes to the owner!

Head area: Brain: Processor / Brain Module Head: Helm Face: Face plate Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor Eye brow: Optical Ridge Eyes: Optics Mouth: Intake Lips: Dermas Teeth: Denta/Dentas Tongue: Glossa

Chest area: Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour: Chest plate Back plate Mid-section plating Neck guard Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus Forearms: Bitarlueus Hands: Servos Fingers: Digits

Arm armour: Gantlets Shoulder pads Arm guard

Lower area: Pelvis: Pelvis Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate Thighs: Tibulen Calves: Cadulen Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour: Skirt plates Aft plate / Skid plate Thigh guard Ankle guard

General/Internal components: Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question. Veins: Fual lines Stomach: Tanks Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating. Heart: Spark Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

-------------------------------------

Y/N let out a sneeze again and covered her mouth with her elbow because she coughed. She's been feeling ill for the past few days, almost a week! One day, she suddenly started to cough and the next thing she knew, she sneezed! It got worse that she started to feel ill and hot!

A year ago, a new virus broke out. It broke out in China but no one knew what that new virus was. When someone died, it was so unexpected and unknown what the cause was until the scientists found out that it's a new virus that caused it. They named it Covid-19 or just coronavirus. It belongs to the family of other coronaviruses. There are some other coronaviruses and some of them are dangerous but the new Covid-19... it's getting serious. More deaths came in, people stayed home, kids can't go to school.

In other countries, they started a search on how to protect yourself from the new virus if it arrives in their country. They found good tips like washing your hands, stay home if you feel sick, stay away from the crowds, wear a mask, and stay like 1.5 meters away so respect the distance. Soon, the virus arrived in other countries. In the beginning, China and Italy are the most damaged countries because of how many deaths are reported. Some countries had the virus under control but they lost control and it got worse.

It got so worse that schools closed down, many adults lost their jobs, ... Worse, kids are starting to get infected and they had to stay home. Doctors are doing their best to save people but the people who have illnesses, they're higher victims to die, including kids. It's honestly so depressing. The virus spread in Jasper Nevada and some people got infected. Jack, Miko, and Raf wore masks when they were outside or in school. Y/N followed the rules as well! But, the bad luck arrived and... she got infected. She was now at her house, feeling hot and weak. She can't go to school or else she'll infect others. Jack, Miko, and Raf had to get tested since they had close contact with her. None of them got the virus. Lucky them. June Darby, Jack's mother, is a nurse, and let's just say that ever since the virus arrived in Jasper, she had to work for HOURS! Many doctors and nurses fainted from exhaustion.

Y/N tried her best to take care of herself, to get herself strong again since her body is fighting against the virus. If the scientists found a vaccine already, then they will inject many people. Yes, even if it doesn't protect yourself 100%, your body will recognize very fast when there's a virus inside. If the body starts to fight soon as possible, you have a higher chance of getting healed.

Oh, yeah. Ever since Y/N got the virus, Jack, Miko, and Raf got worried sick about their friend. Y/N couldn't even go to the base! She refused since she doesn't want to get others infected. The Autobots did notice that people wore masks whenever they are in public and they heard about the virus but they got worried when Y/N didn't show up for a week. They got the answer why.

Jack, Miko, and Raf were at the base. When they arrived, they took their masks off. Thye breathed in relief since the masks are so irritated to wear!

"Finally off with the masks!" Miko shouted.

Ratchet, the medic of the Autobots, got annoyed and a bit mad when he heard Miko's loud annoying voice again. He looks over his shoulderplate. "Will you quiet down?! I'm trying to work!"

"Jeez, sorry, doc," Miko grumbled.

Ratchet let out an annoyed sigh and continued to work  He seriously likes to be called by his name, not anything else!

That's when the others came, including Optimus, fragging handsome leader. The Prime then noticed that Y/N was not around again, which got him immediately worried. "Where's Y/N?"

Jack, Miko, and Raf looked sad. They knew the truth, of course since they're humans... Humans can get infected with the new coronavirus. All bots saw their sad expressions. It gave them a sign that something horrible happened.

"Y/N is at her home. You all heard about the new virus, right?"

Everyone at the base nodded.

"Y/N is... infected with the virus. She has a high temperature and is not allowed to leave home."

Optimus couldn't believe what he heard in his audio receptors. His human got infected? Yes, he calls Y/N his human. They're not together, but they both are crushing on each other. He couldn't help but be worried sick about her. You know what? He didn't care anymore what others will say. He ran through the exit and transformed into his semi-truck form. That's when he drove off.

"Wait, where's Optimus going?! Miko asked in shock.

Ratchet showed a little smile while his back is turned. He's proud of his old friend because he's going to help her. He also knows that he's going to transfer her here to the base so that Ratchet can keep an optic on her health. He may not found the cure like how the human scientists are doing now, but he knows how to take of the patients, to make sure that they're strong. In secret, he cares a lot about his loved ones, even his human friends. Nice thing from him, right? "He's going to help her."

At Y/N~

Y/N sneezed again and coughed. She grabbed a tissue from the box and blew. Once she's done, she threw it right in the trashcan. Goal. She really wants to feel better again. It sucks! She let out a weak sigh and that's when her door to the garden opened. That perked her up in alarm. She quickly grabbed a wooden chair and slowly crept to the kitchen, scared and weak. She raised the chair and that's when she was about to swing but a certain familiar servo caught it in time.

"You should be in berth, Y/N."

"O-Optimus?! Oh, gosh... I'm so s-sorry! I thought you were a burglar!" She quickly dropped the chair.

Optimus let out a chuckle and smiled softly. He was in his bipedal holoform and he hid his truck nearby. He doesn't want to attract any Decepticons. His optics filled with sadness, worry, and sympathy when he saw her condition. He looks very weak. She seriously needs help. That's when he picked her up, causing her to yelp and clutch into the Prime for dear life. But when she felt how cold he is, she pressed herself against him.

"I'm bringing you to the base to the base, Y/N. I worry about your condition."

Y/N couldn't help but squeal inside by how cute Optimus is when he worries. She wanted nothing but to kiss him and tell him that she'll be ok. But she nodded her head weakly against his cold metal chassis. That's when she felt sot dermas press against her forehead. Aaaw, Optimus kissed her forehead! But can Cybertronians get infected with human, viruses? Now that worries her the most. "O-Optimus, please let me go!"

Optimus looks worried. "May I ask why?"

"Y-You'll... get infected with my virus!" That's when she burst into tears and cried. She looks away while crying, causing Optimus's spark to shatter. She was scared that he'll get infected with human sicknesses? He couldn't help but looks so lovingly that he made her turn her head gently and that's when he kissed her warm cheek. "We Cybertronians do not get infected with humans sicknesses."

"R-Really?"

"Yes, Y/N. But I'm very worried about your health. Ratchet will help you."

Y/N nodded weakly and snuggled close against his cold metal. Optimus frowned since he's worried and walked out through the backdoor towards his truck that was hiding. He'll get her stuff later or send one of his teammates to get it. He gently laid Y/N down on the seats and then went in as well.

At the base~

Optimus parked and transformed, causing Y/N to be on his servo. He looks so soft at her weak body. He then walked to Ratchet. "Old friend."

Ratchet turned around and when he saw Y/N, his optics widen. "By the AllSpark, lay her down on the medical berth."

Optimus did as told and Ratchet started doing different tests. At least it was not painful, but it's some of them were unpleasant like, for example, a long then stick where it enters your nose and is like touching your brain! When the tests are finally over, Ratchet held a datapad and looked serious. "Her body is very weak and needs a lot of vitamins in order to make the chance of defeating the virus higher. She needs to drink a lot of water and eat 3 fruits per day."

Optimus nodded. "Thank you, Ratchet."

"Make sure that she has plenty of rest. I'll make sure that the children stay away for their safety. I'll come to check on her health every 3 megacycles (hours)."

Optimus nodded again, gently picked the weak human up, and walked towards his berthroom. The Bots are lucky that they can visit Y/N without a single problem but Jack, Miko, and Raf have to stay away. Optimus entered his room and closed the door behind him. He then laid Y/N down on his berth. He watched her breath for a moment, then he transformed small. He laid down next to Y/N and pressed against her body. Y/N snuggled against him and opened her eyes tiredly. Optimus gave her a soft and soothing smile as he pressed his dermas against her soft lips. Y/N responded by kissing him back happily.

When the kiss was over, Optimus spooned her. "I'll make sure that you're strong again, Y/N."

Y/N smiled while enjoying her sweet cuddles with her new boyfriend. Optimus continued to spoon her and leaving soft kisses on her.

[matth1w]

Can I ask for a Lucifer Morningstar fic where the reader to pregnant, hasn’t told Lucifer yet and panics starting to lie to him and avoid him. They resolve it when he does some of his own detective work and he decides he wants you to know he likes the child. Bonus points of stuff like ‘well now I’ve trapped you and you’re mine...’ (like playfully) Thanks.

Detective Morningstar

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Summary: You’re pregnant with Lucifer’s baby. Great, right? Wrong. You know how much he doesn’t like children. So being a responsible adult, you… lie and avoid him. Lucifer does some detective work and finds out, because of course he would.

Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, angst, language, talk of period, talk of yeast infections (just wait) 

Rating: Everyone

Word Count: 2,709 words

Note: Lots of internal dialogue in this one, with lotsa cursing. Indicated by italics. Also, part of what took so long - my first attempt at this was much less happy and required me to get into a certain mindset. The rewrite is much happier and lighter. And pregnancy fics just take more effort from me.

Note to Requestor: Thank you for requesting and your patience, nonnie! I hope you enjoy! 💕

Tags: @kittenlittle24​

It was about four in the morning and you were thankful for your natural inability to hold your bladder through the night. Lucifer didn’t seem disturbed by your getting out.

Heavy sleeper and used to it, I guess.

You slowly closed the bathroom door with a soft click and opened the cabinet just as slow. Thankful you had fixed that squeaky hinge.

Your eyes fell on the bright box in front of you and you grabbed it with trepidation - hoping your period would start and wake you from this nightmare. You opened the box quietly, swearing internally at the foil wrapping.

Why did they make these things so loud??

It wasn’t necessary. All it did was make it perfectly clear to anyone within a mile’s radius that you were taking a pregnancy test.

You paused after finally pulling it out - so on edge and nervous of making any sound Lucifer would overhear.

Nothing came from the bedroom so you got down to business.

Yuck, of course you got a little on your fingers.

Okay. All done. Now just five minutes.

God it felt like an hour.

Any bleeding?

Nope.

You checked. Still had hope even if it was a week late. You had been practically begging for your period.

You made empty promises to never complain about your period again.

You checked your phone for the hundredth time in the five minutes.

Finally.

You didn’t even pause before looking at the test.

+

Shit.

Hold up, it could be a -

Nope. Definitely a +

+ means pregnant right??

Shit shit shit.

Wait.

Could be a false positive. Those happen all the time.

Yeah, sure, your brain aka reasonable Y/N thought.

You looked into the cabinet to get another one, a different brand.

As much as you were freaking out, you realized that wasn’t the best idea. You’d wait until tomorrow.

I’m sure I’ll get my period by then and it’ll be some weird false positive...

Yeah.

You pushed the feeling in your gut down. It could be wrong.

It had to be.

1 day and 1 more positive test later...

You sat on the couch, Netflix running but not earning your attention.

You were too busy thinking at break-neck speed.

... Well he came around to liking Trixie. Becoming like an uncle to her. Now when he called her monkey it was affectionate.

And he loved and was even affectionate to baby Charlie.

So maybe he wouldn’t be mad. Or upset? Or idk disappointed?

Oh God, that would be the worst.

Wait, God!

Hey! Dad in law! Can you help out here? Take little bugger out?

I mean you helped Mary so just like say the spell backwards.

Yikes.

Let’s hope He wasn’t listening. Pretty sure that sent you straight to Hell ten times over.

Speaking of Hell, this was his fault! He’s the one with the freaking sperm!

But.... you’re the one whose body betrayed you. Apparently your uterus had too many months of preparing for a baby just for it to get torn down.

Maybe it was a fake. False positive. People get those all the time.

Across two different brands?

Ugh, shut up, reasonable Y/N.

3 days and 3 more positive tests later...

Maze you whisper-yelled through your teeth and shook your hand to get her to come over once she looked up from her spot on the barstool.

“I’m fucked.”

“Why?”

Maze asked with a suspicious look.

“I’m... fucked”, you cursed.

“You can’t tell anyone. Especially you know who.”

Maze smiled and nodded, curiosity piqued. She loved secrets.

You sighed, the omnipresent string of curses running through your head before you spoke again, taking a deep breath and spilling it all out.

“I’m like 99.999 percent sure I’m pregnant.”

You sucked in air, having to breath after saying that all so hurried also because FUCK, you just said it out loud.

Your best friend/practical sister just started at you, chewing on your lip.

She shifted on her feet.

“Are you...” she was trying to gauge you and the situation. “Happy?”

You made faces as you tried to think.

Were you?

Petrified. Anxious. Happy? Okay a little. If you weren’t worried about Lucifer’s reaction maybe you would be.

You mean, it was kinda cool you were like making life.

“Uhhhh...”

Maze nodded slowly at that. Understanding nearly perfectly well what was going on.

“I see. And you’re worried about Lucifer?”

You nodded, scared of even saying his name.

“What if he doesn’t like me like that?”, you sighed, wanting to cry.

She just stared at you, but it was no use as you had dropped your head in your hands. She waited until you lifted your head back up before speaking.

“You’re literally married.”

Oh. Right.

“Yeah but...”

She flicked you in the forehead.

“Stop being an idiot, YN.”

“What are my two favorite ladies gossiping about?”

You jumped out of your skin. Neither of you had noticed your husband/ father of your child until he stood just a foot away.

Shit shit shit.

Say something!

You looked to Maze but she was giving you nothing.

Fuck. Okay uh...

“Uh... VAGINAL ITCHING!”

Lucifer stopped himself from putting his hand on your shoulder. His face was a hilarious mixture of confusion and strange acceptance.

No one said anything so you had to go again.

“Um... yeah. Maze,” you gulped at the daggers coming from her eyes.

“I mean, I.... uh, I think I got a yeast infection.”

Lucifer nodded furrowing his eyebrows. He just turned on his feet and walked away.

Once he was out of reach, Maze snorted.

“You’re a mess! Vaginal itching??”

You buried your head in your hands once more and groaned.

— — —

When you went to bed that night Lucifer was already there.

“What have you been up to darling?”

Reading articles about how to tell your husband you’re pregnant.

“Um. Uh.... Reorganizing the closet.”

You smiled and laughed a little too loud as you realized how utterly stupid that was considering he was in the bedroom. With full view of the closet.

You blushed and tried to laugh it off.

“Sorry, babe. I’m super tired. I’ve been out of it.”

He chuckled. “That yeast infection?”, he mused.

You nodded over enthusiastically. “Yeah the uh, yeast infection.... Itchy itch!”

You cringed.

Itchy itch? Who says that??

Lucifer pursed his lips, trying so hard not to laugh at you.

“Yes, itchy itch indeed. Let me know if you need me to run to the store and get you something for that. I was planning on going out tomorrow.”

You gulped. Fear and paranoia coursing through your veins.

He nudged your shoulder.

“CVS has those chocolates you like on sale so I thought I’d pick some up.”

You sighed. A little too eagerly. Then tried to cover it up.

You couldn’t trust your words so you smiled and leaned in to kiss Lucifer.

He held your lips for an extra moment and pulled away slowly.

“I love you, Y/N” he said. Certainty and firmness evident through his tone and eyes that held yours.

You closed your eyes.

“I love you too, my angel”

— — —

You stopped as you stepped out of Lux, taking a moment to appreciate the warm LA sun hitting your skin. You closed your eyes and held your head high.

Today was going to be a good day.

Someone cleared their throat next to you and you frowned.

Or not.

Opening your eyes you saw you sister in law, Remiel.

Ah, fuck.

“Remy!” you exclaimed, trying to be excited. Like you didn’t know what was going on or why she was here.

She looked at you unamused.

“Y/N. I thought you said you used protection.”

Your face fell and you slumped. Embarrassed as Remy brought up your old conversation.

When she came down to try to take Charlie to Heaven she made a comment about expecting Lucifer to be the one to create a nymphlim.

And you of course said that you two used protection and she wouldn’t have to worry about that.

Which wasn’t a lie, you had been! You just... kinda stopped.

You laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah…” You swallowed.

“Since you’re here... am I actually…?” your throat tightened. You couldn’t say it.

In an instant your sister in law eyes softened.

“Yes,”

You nodded, looking away as you bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears from spilling onto your cheeks.

Remy came closer to you and put her hand on your shoulder.

“Hey,” she began, her voice soft and almost unfamiliar from what you knew of the hunter.

You looked up at Remy and tried to smile.

“I guess,” you sniffled. “I kept thinking it wasn’t real. That all the tests were somehow wrong.”

You shuddered out a shaky laugh, meeting her eyes quickly.

“But I guess if you’re here and you can tell...”

Remy grunted in agreement. “I can smell it clearly.”

You chuckled and looked back at her, not surprised to see her serious face. But that left after a moment to a sly smirk.

You sighed and decided to go in for a hug. After a quick flinch, Remy brought her arms loosely around you.

“You’re not mad?” You sniffled against her shoulder.

She laughed under you as she pulled away, holding you at arms length.

“No. I learned my lesson with Amenadiel. I wanted to offer my help. The child of Lucifer will be highly sought out.”

You blanched. “Sought out? Like...”

She nodded seriously. Her mood instantly changing.

“Yes, Y/N. Many will try to get ahold of your child for their own benefit.”

You just nodded back, unable to handle the situation and desperately wanting to not think about it.

Remy seemed to notice your fatigue and tried to smile again.

“But there’s no need to worry about that now!”

You smiled back, trying to relax as well.

“Well... since you’re here...”

“Remy!”

Lucifer shouted from behind you.

Your husband walked up to you both and pulled his sister in for a tight hug.

“So lovely for you to stop down. What are you doing here?”

Remy went to say - the truth. So you spoke up first. Almost drowning her out.

“I invited her for pedicures!”

“Ooh pedicures?” Lucifer turned to you with excitement.

“Yeah. Uh, Girl family bonding. Like just girls! ... Sorry uh no boys allowed.”

Luci chuckled as Remy just looked on.

“Sounds lovely.” Luci couldn’t even try to hide the love in his heart seeing his wife and sister together.

You stepped in to give him a quick peck on the cheek then back to Remy and wrapped your arm in hers.

“Bye Luci!”

There was a glimmer in his eyes as he pulled out the corvette keys from his pocket and handed them to you.

“Have fun, darling”.

You smiled up at your husband, appreciative of the act.

He gave Remy one last look before he walked back inside.

It was quiet for almost a minute before Remy broke the silence.

“You haven’t told him yet?”

You sighed and hung your shoulders.

“I’ve been meaning to but I just... I’m so scared.”

“Of what?”

You looked at her. She really did want to help.

“Hey uh, if you’re not busy. A pedicure would be nice.”

She smiled. It truly was a nice sight.

“Sure.”

— — —

After you got home and said your goodbyes to your sister in law you hummed happily, trying to not be nervous.

Thankfully Lucifer wasn’t home so you relaxed in front of the tv with a snack.

When the elevator door dinged, you jumped up as Lucifer was quite cheery.

“What’s got you all smiley, Mr. Morningstar?”

He chuckled. “Well, Mrs. Morningstar, not only did they have your chocolates on sale. I also got a coupon!”

You giggled at him. Lucifer Morningstar. The Devil himself. Clipping coupons with such eagerness like a domestic housewife.

He walked over to you and held up the bags. You gawked.

“Luci, how much chocolate did you get??”

He gave you a sly smile.

“Oh I noticed we were running low on some items so I got them as well”

He held your eyes and in that moment you knew you were caught. But you tried to play dumb.

“What stuff?”

He tilted his head at you.

“You know, darling. Pregnancy tests. You’ve gone through quite a lot these past few days.”

You felt the color drain from your face.

“Luci...”

He held up his hand and walked over to sit beside you.

“Y/N. Whatever the reason, I want you to know you don’t need to lie anymore.”

You had to look away at the intensity of his look.

“I’m the Devil. Sensing truth and lies is my thing.”

He put two fingers under your chin to make you meet his eyes.

“And even if I wasn’t. You’re a bloody awful liar. Pedicures?”

He gave you a crooked cheeky smile and you couldn’t help the groan that escaped you.

“I know. But Luci...”

He wasn’t moving to speak so you took a breath and continued.

“I thought you would be upset. I mean, other than Trixie and Charlie, you don’t really like kids. And having a kid, it would tie us together forever. And I know we’re married but it’s different? And I just...”

Your voice trailed off when you looked back up at Lucifer and saw him shaking his head.

“Y/N, my darling wife. We were tied together forever the moment I first saw you. And a child? To be honest, seeing my brother with Charlie it sparked something in me.

“And when I saw you and Remy standing together today - I hoped she was here for the same reason you had taken almost every kind of pregnancy test. And didn’t use any tampons. And didn’t eat any of your period ice cream.”

You felt the blush grow on your cheeks and bumped your head into his shoulder - trying to desperately hide your embarrassment.

“You used your detective skills on me, Morningstar?”

He laughed wholeheartedly as he wrapped his arms around you.

“You aren’t that challenging of a case, love.”

You let yourself laugh.

It shouldn’t surprise you.

Wait.

He said hoped.

Hoped.

“Luci...” you stilled under him, “You said you hoped?”

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Really?”, you said softly, so surprised by his words.

He nodded then leaned in to kiss you, saying all he needed to say with the passion and love pouring from his lips to yours.

When he pulled away you took a breath, feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Staring into the eyes of your husband, you knew his words to be true.

“You want this? A baby? Our baby?”

He smiled, lighting up at your words.

“Yes.” He shook you slightly.

“I want all the babies you’re willing to give me. Because it’s you, Y/N.”

You couldn’t help it.

Yep, time for the waterworks.

“Oh, Luci” you sobbed as you dove to hug him.

He held you tightly as he soothed your pain.

“It’s alright, love. Everything’s alright now.”

After a few minutes of crying and comfort, you sniffled and wiped your eyes. Unable to form words that could convey how you felt, you just looked at your husband, smiling softly, eyes glistening and showing relief, gratitude, and love.

He brought you back into his arms and hummed softly.

— — —

Later that night, when your limbs were intertwined between the sheets, the emotional toll of the day mixed with sleep to loosen your tongue.

“Luci... you don’t feel tied down to me??” Your voice was quiet - scared and hopeful.

“Darling.” Lucifer chuckled before he saw the seriousness on your face.

“We’re married.” He said as he stroked your cheek down to your shoulder.

“But a baby.” You nuzzled into him. “It I don’t know... it kinda ties you to someone forever.” The wetness of your eyes coming back again for what felt like the millionth time that day.

Lucifer shifted, pulling you closer to him and lifting your head so your eyes would meet his.

“Being tied to you for the rest of my life isn’t a prison, my darling - it’s a gift.”

[confusedbutstillgay]

MF Gotham Logic.

Okay so stabbing/blood/shooting trigger warning, please DON’T READ if this will trigger you.

Hello, I’m gonna be talking about a bit of Gotham logic today. Before you start complaining about your least favorite plot holes, stupid twists the writers put in there, characters that only popped up for like 5 seconds… nah I’m not here to talk about that shit. In all honesty, I didn’t watch much of Gotham, so I can’t really talk about that. What I am here to talk about is Gotham’s logic of how the human body works. Spoilers ahead.

Let’s start off with one of the most well-known scenes. Ed shooting Oz and letting his body fall into the river. Lemme explain.

Infection. The Gotham river has gotta be polluted as fuck, so if and only if Oz actually survived he would have a hell of an infection.

Pressure. The pressure of the river, as I’ve heard, would probably turn Ozzie’s insides into outsides, especially since he was shot in the stomach region. 

The river itself. Undercurrents especially I’m worried about. How the fuck would Oz get himself out of that in time? And yes, he would have to, since he would die in minutes from blood loss. He doesn’t have enough time for him to just wash out and be magically okay. Not to mention the risk of, idk, breaking bones and stuff from getting bumped around in the river so much.

The risk of hypothermia and/or frostbite, since rivers are fucking cold regardless of the time of day or the season. 

Now let’s talk about what Ivy would have had to do in order to heal Ozzie. First off, she would have to know how to perform surgery, since she would have had to sew up the walls of Oz’s internal organs and also get the bullet out if it was still in there. Second, well, we talked about infection, probably having to patch up broken bones from the river, hypothermia, etc, etc…

Okay, let’s go to something simpler. Bombs.

Mother. Fucking. Bombs.

Inhales

Do you know how far away you need to be to survive from a grenade? 30 feet. This is because your tissue tears from the highly compressed air that slams into you, and your brain and lungs can collapse and bleed internally. Just imagine how far away you need to be from a bomb to survive. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES GRENADES/BOMBS HAVE FUCKING APPEARED IN GOTHAM WITH CLOSE TO NO CONSEQUENCES EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE WERE LIKE NOT EVEN 2 FEET AWAY FROM THE GODDAMN GRENADE

So now let’s talk about the whole severed-hand thing. 

Oh, god, where do I start with this shit.

Okay, let me start by saying: it’s possible, with modern medicine, to have your hand cut off and be able to use it again. BUT. But. You need to go through (I estimate) months of seriously hard physical therapy, and it’s frustrating and exhausting, but again, it’s possible. 

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT BITCH USE HER HAND AFTER LIKE A FEW DAYS?!?!?!?! LIKE MISS GIRL BE GLAD YOU CAN BARELY HOLD ONTO A KNIFE YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE ABLE TO USE YOUR HAND AT ALL.

*Clears throat*

Okay, let’s talk about Ozzie getting shrapnel in the eye. This is a bit of a problem for me when it comes to looking up the logic, since we don’t know how big the shrapnel was. If it was over 2 inches Ozzie’s getting some brain damage and probably internal bleeding. I feel like there, yes, is a chance he could survive but he’d have some brain damage. This would affect his temporal lobe, which could result in: difficulty learning and retaining new information, impaired factual and long-term memory, and persistent talking. But otherwise this seems to check out. 

Oh, boy. I wanna talk about Jerome getting stabbed in the neck. So. So, so, so. Getting stabbed in the neck is NOT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM an instant death. It can take a few minutes to a lot longer than you’d think to die from that shit. Also it looks as though he could have nicked a major artery… so that would mean death in a minute or two, from blood loss. 

Now, Theo’s biggest flaw here is NOT TAKING THE KNIFE OUT. Leaving the knife in means stemming the bleeding and allowing there to be a bit of a higher chance of living. 

Also I want to talk about the bleeding to the mouth… just no. From my knowledge this should not, in any way, shape, or form, happen unless he got tilted back and the blood from his throat SOMEHOW trickled up to his mouth. Actually the blood would go down, which would not be good for your stomach or possibly lungs… but anyways. The “bleeding by the mouth thing…” I’m starting to believe that shit doesn’t happen. Not as much as the media says, anyways. Yeah, yeah, I get that it’s a huge sign you got into a big fight, but that doesn’t mean it’s logical or right. Only way I would accept this is if you made a point that a tooth got knocked out (because I don’t think biting your tongue hard would result in THAT much blood… also if your character is good at fighting this probably wouldn’t happen). 

And last but not least, Ecco dying. Now, getting stabbed/shot in the heart is… fickle. It all depends on the situation (and yes, people have survived getting shot/stabbed in the heart. It happens) and how quickly you lose blood/how quickly your brain loses oxygenated blood. BUT AGAIN WITH THE BLOOD POURING FROM THE MOUTH THING. WHY. WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH THIS SHIT. 

Anyways, that’s all for right now, if you have questions about any other scenes my ask box is open and I will gladly speak about these things :> Goodbye!!!

Edit:

@yanderebeat​

Ohhhh. My. God. How the fuck did I forget this??? (Also clearly this is gonna be a thread now so WHOOP)

Okay so it takes like. 4-6 min for someone to die while choking and 10 min for irreversible brain death. IT TAKES. 4-6 MIN. FOR SOMEONE TO DIE. WHILE CHOKING.

This is because of the lack of oxygen that’s going to the brain. SO FUCKING EXPLAIN TO ME HOW AND WHY KRIS DIED THAT FUCKING QUICKLY. Only reason would be if her brain was already lacking oxygen but there’s no reason for that to have happened so like… why

Anyways thanks for the little reminder of that :>

[the-bridge-paul]

My Wiggly Theory

My Theory: TGWDLM is Wiggly’s first attempt at gaining control of the people of America. However when is planned failed, he looks to an alternate universe OR sets time back where TGWDLM didn’t take place and works from there. Which leads us to Black Friday. The events of Black Friday is Wiggly’s (as far as we know) second attempt.  Let me explain...

Okay, so, starting off; we’re all familiar with the idea that TGWDLM and Black Friday are parallel, but what parallels them? Wiggly targets people who are in desperate need of happiness. As Lex says, “Whatever spell that doll casts, it doesn't work on kids... You think Wiggly can fix this hole, but he can't, it's a trick. That's how it works, he promises to fix all of the holes, but he doesn't. And that's why it works on adults. Because you guys have more holes. You need more things and you need it harder.”

But, we also here the from Paul in TGWLDM! The second Paul started to become infected by Wiggly, [in the song Inevitable] he says, “I’ve never been happy. Wouldn’t that be nice. Is this the secret; singing and dancing through life?” 

Back to what Lex said about holes, I find it interesting that Wiggly starts with small towns. When you live in a small town, you practically know/grew up with everybody. Paul and Emma went to rivaling high schools in the same town, and even saw each other without even knowing it. Linda Monroe, Becky Barnes, Tom Houston, Sherman Young, and most likely more characters, all went to high school together. This makes it so that they already know each others holes.

(You can skip this next paragraph. It’s not well written)

Wiggly used humans for his bidding; which is why we never heard of Wiggly in TGWDLM. He used humans to convince other humans to join his whole singing cult. Nay, he uses substance. In between Cup of Roasted Coffee and Cup of Poisoned Coffee, Emma finds that the Coffee given to the costumers was y’know poisoned. When Ted was found by McNamara, some sort of blue light was injected into his mouth and got him singing. Now, yes it is played off as a joke, but Officer Sam [Charlotte’s husband]  was infected, his brain turned blue. Now clearly, some sort of substance was used to gain control of these humans [though I’m not exactly sure how Charlotte, and the army were infected, I’m sorry,]. But several humans didn’t were gained control off, Emma, Bill, the news reporters, almost Paul, however he destroyed a part of Wiggly in the process, aka the meteor. In conclusion, the entirety of TGWDLM was Wiggly’s attempt, however it failed.

My Theory is that Black Friday is Wiggly’s other attempt. He set time back to where he didn’t mess with Hatchifield (idk how its spelled.) Notice how we does everything different this round.

He Introduces himself this time. Even showing face/form

He doesn’t use a substance this time. Because what’s stronger then matter? The human mind. Especially a human mind in a fragile state of desperation. Yes he used product, but the manipulation behind it was convincing everyone that was desperate and unhappy enough that product was the answer. 

In TGWDLM, there was no one person in charge. Everyone had the same power. However, in BF, Linda Monroe was labelled as a profit. In fact there seems to be some hierarchy. Uncle Wiley represents Wiggly (notice how Uncle Wiley is Uncle Wiley and not in first person. “Only in American could Wiggly take root!” and not “Only in America could I take root.”) Wiggly>Uncle Wiley>Linda> Cult Members.

Instead of focusing on getting people to sing, he focus on getting people to worship him. Let it Out [in TGWDLM] pressured Paul into singing. Wiggly controlled people’s finds into getting their hands on a doll, therefore basically getting them inside the cult. 

He chose a different town.

Paul in BF right. Paul nor Emma ever mention surviving the whole flash mob cult. Paul never sings. Paul still hates musicals. Which leads to believe that Paul didn’t really change. However, Paul and Emma are in a relationship now. Which backs up my theory that BF is a universe where TGWDLM didn’t happen, its just father into the future. 

When Hannah sings What If Tomorrow, she says, “What if tomorrow comes, To break and there's no one to stay What if tomorrow.” Many think that its because the citizens of these towns are stuck in a time loop but I disagree.  

When tomorrow does come, Wiggly has already set time back. When Hannah says “there’s no one to stay,” she could mean that no one will stay in this universe with the memories of Wiggly. It’ll all be gone.

I think it’s known now that Hannah knows more than the regular human. Hannah mentioned “Two Doors not one” when no one not even McNamara and Xavier, who’ve been studying Wiggly for years knew. Maybe Hannah knows about what happened in TGWDLM. She does say, “Do you all see the memories  Tomorrow reminds me.” Of course no one believes here because 1. She is a child, 2. She shows signs of mental illness. She could be worried that her universe will be forgotten/erased, like TGWDLM, and Wiggly will get another attempt.

So yeah that’s my theory. Idk If this is already a popular theory or like cmon this is pretty much common knowledge but yeah.

[mcnypieces]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme

fill out & repost ♥  This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( They’re missing out )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( It’s subjective )

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO? ( This is... also subjective. )

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

How strictly do you follow canon?

     As closely as possible, considering there’s not very much to work with in regards to his canon to begin with. There’s a lot of freedom in picking up any kind of minor canon character. I look mainly to expand on what little is present. I adore fleshing out even the smallest ideas so having something I can comfortably build on is great.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

     Pica is loyal, beyond anything. Strong, well-built, and never wavering. Regardless of the situation, he is always on task, diligent to the last moment and perhaps longer. Devotion and collected functionality make a grand guardian. Always acts as a pillar; a collected foundation of a man centered around dedicated familial values. Being in contact with stone makes him nigh invincible, granting him not only the protective assimilation but the literal stature and appearance of a stone goliath given enough material. Strategic with respectable swordsmanship, constantly protective of what’s important. He’s nice on the eyes, quiet, and a good listener. There’s order and beauty laced within all that cataclysmic chaos just waiting to be found. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

     Distant, stoic, absolutely terrible with expression that isn’t hateful and violent. Pica is very strict, lacking a sense of humor. His voice is extremely disruptive. The smallest remarks set his short fuse alight and it burns on and on until there’s nothing left. That murderous intent settles for very few things, and getting him to open up is a long, grueling process. He’s self-conscious but in an overbearingly cocky way, in that pride often masks everything genuine. He thinks very highly of himself and looks down on other people constantly. He’s uncooperative, constantly wrapped up in solemn business, and heavily against indirect methods. Abrasiveness is a weapon and he uses it without remorse. Stubbornness and general unwillingness to speak with strangers make attempting to converse with him the equivalent of talking to a wall. Pica is impatience, wrath, and apathy tied together with coarse cobblestone.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

     As odd as it sounds, I found certain parts of Pica relatable in very specific, personal ways. People never took me seriously when I was upset because I was so small ( sometimes they still don’t dskdsks- ). For awhile when I was younger my voice was really deep and hoarse due to adenoid issues. Speaking in general was hard, because breathing was hard. It made me sound very masculine, especially over any kind of voice-only system. Normally adenoids aren’t an issue at that point because they’re vestigial and tend to essentially be shrunk down to nothing. But something ( probably fighting off infections and never shrinking/bad allergies, nobody knows ) blew mine up and they were blocking 3/4ths of my airway for ages without anyone having any idea what was going on until it got bad enough to the point it was obvious something was wrong. I couldn’t have any stuffed animals in my room because it was legitimately dangerous and a lot of my non hypoallergenic stuff had plastic covers on it. Made me really sad. Eventually they were surgically removed, and it cleared up my breathing and in time my voice was relatively normal. Before then, nothing felt worse to me then than struggling to breathe trying to defend myself in tandem with all the emotional stress it brought on me. 

     I was always quiet and distant otherwise, and a lot of people thought I was just weird and unapproachable ( unless you wanted a laugh, anyway ). There were days before I made my small group of good friends I’d just spend sitting under the stairwell up against a wall eating lunch by myself. I’m probably one of the few people that listened to Pica talk for the first time and didn’t immediately burst into laughter. I didn’t completely click with him at that point, but watching that one little thing turn into a running gag constantly coming back to undermine everything else that was amazing about him really set my feelings in stone... pun completely intended. I’ve loved him ever since. That inspiration and adoration has only grown with time.

What keeps your inspiration going?

     Quite a few things. Aside from the constant love pouring from my being, I love looking at highly detailed stonework. It’s beautiful. Scrolling through rolling mountain landscapes, listening to certain songs, daydreaming in between sentences. I never really lose inspiration for Pica. Something new hits me every day in the most mundane tasks. A lot of it does go unshared, but some of it is personal and other times I simply don’t have the energy or reason. Very well I could be brimming with inspiration for him all day and have nowhere really to put it without excess. Getting opportunities to do so really makes me smile, though. It’s amazing how much being invested in a character will keep your inspiration at an all time high even when you’re having a rough time. Sometimes all it takes is just an extra comment from someone else or an occurrence or some kind of image to put you right back on track. For me, seeing any kind of lovely stonework or abandoned, run down places really sets my inspiration for him in motion.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( I would hope so! )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO ( I’m always thinking of new ones! )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO ( It’s been awhile, though... )

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES!! / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( Generally speaking, I try to be! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

     Actual criticism, yes. I don’t mind it. At the same time, however, I’m really just here to have a good time ─ as is everybody else. Growing and developing my writing is always a bonus when I’ve the experience here in an environment I’m comfortable with, but critique isn’t exactly something I go hunting for. I’m here to write the characters I love and adore and honestly, sometimes, it’s better to have the freedom to do things as you wish without the worry of receiving it, no matter how well-intended it may be. It’s all chill times and good vibes doing what we enjoy most.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

     Absolutely! I love randomly being sent things that keep me thinking with any character. I’m always looking for little intricacies and tidbits to really bring them to life. Sometimes it takes a bit for me to think of something appropriate but I always appreciate the brain candy when it comes to new details! It goes without saying that I’ll happily accept anything that gives reason to my constant, aimless musings related to Pica.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

     Yes and no? I always love hearing other ideas on why someone else’s headcanons differ from my own. For all I know it might be enough to change my mind or, at the very least, give me a different perspective on something I’ve never thought about before. I’m always curious about stuff when it relates to a character I love. As long as they’re not rude about it and we’ve talked to the point it’s not out of the blue, it’s okay. On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter if someone disagrees. We all have our own headcanons and it’s very easy to be respectful about them. Despite what has already been said, there’s a high chance I’m going to keep to my own headcanons as they are regardless, because I put a lot of thought and heart into them. Someone disagreeing with them at face value isn’t going to make me up and throw all that work in the trash just like that.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

     That’s okay. There are plenty of different ways to interpret a character. People are allowed to like and dislike whatever portrayal they so choose, so long as they’re not bashing anyone outright. I would much prefer that be something that’s kept to oneself, however. It’s very easy to simply ignore something you don’t agree with, and it’s just as easy to be kind about things when expressing your own thoughts in comparison with theirs. Plus, there’s always making your own blog and writing whoever however you please! Someone out there is bound to enjoy whatever portrayal you prefer. ♥

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

     Not personal, certainly, unless it was somehow directed at me personally. It’s very understandable. There’s a lot of potential present for actual progressing development, but on the surface Pica is very dislike-able. It’s very clear his purpose was to act as a stepping stone for another major character’s development and there wasn’t much left beyond that. Of course it’s always a sad thing being hopelessly attached to a character like that but as an avid lover of what are often viewed as very minor, niche characters, it’s something I’m very much used to. Perhaps not intense hate in every case, per se, but underappreciated. It just so happens that Pica is... not exactly a good person, putting it kindly. But that’s just another reason I love him so much as a character.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

     Sure! Though chances are I’ve probably already noticed at that point and have been embarrassed about it/fixed it. I’ve probably made many over the years and also not realized it. Most of the time it’s something minor anyway, and a lot of people just naturally read it as it’s supposed to be read. So there’s no trouble!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

     I’d certainly like to think so! I tend to be very patient and accommodating. I wholeheartedly stand beside the idea that RPing is meant to be fun and enjoyable and not something that causes more stress. People should take their time with things and set their own pace. Being comfortable is part of what makes RP the wonderful hobby that it is. Really that applies to any hobby, but there are many little things that can turn someone away from doing something they love at any given time. There’s nothing that would hurt me more than unintentionally making something someone enjoys a chore for them. I try my best to make sure everyone knows that I’m really just a chill little bun having a good time doting on characters I love. Pica might not be cordial, but I certainly try to be!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

     🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

tagged by. @tenyxshx ─ thank you flamingo nerd ♥ ilu

[hellsbells91]

Avengers: Endgame, a day later

What an absolute ride. My brain hurts though. It’s a lot to unpack and this post/review/scrutinisation turned into a bit of a mini-essay.

Spoilers are all below the cut and they are detailed spoilers for the whole film, just to warn everyone:

An emotional rollercoaster that despite us knowing that time travel would be involved still had its moments that kept me guessing as to what could happen, or how it could happen. I still felt the joy and intrigue during the ‘time-heist’ and a moment of piercing dread when Thanos picked up the fully-loaded infinity gauntlet for the second time. 

I also loved how Endgame took the time to be immensely fun. Of course it had bleak moments, depressing moments, angry moments, but damn did it make me laugh. Korg, Frigga, OG Hulk, Loki... their presence, however short-lived or ultimately unfulfilling, was like a soothing balm for the soul and reminded us why we fell in love with these guys the first time around. How much charisma and charm can Tom Hiddleston fit into about a minute of screen time of Loki, also without speaking for most of it? A lot. He is on form as always and I’m glad for it.

Infinity War was of a much darker tone, I feel, and I very much enjoy the parts of Endgame that made me feel like we were in the original Avengers again (I mean aside from the actual time travel portions), recapturing some of that joy and excitement and most importantly hope that was a constant comforting presence in the first title.

The emotional beats with Clint and his family, Scott and Cassie and Tony and Morgan (and Howard) also in particular gave the film much needed time to breathe after Infinity War’s ‘GO GO GO crank everything to 11!’ pace, and were for me at least among the most heartfelt moments. 

I actually don’t have too much to say about Thor and Bruce, honestly. They were entertaining, I liked them, it was a bit of a shame we didn’t get more of Hulk and that Thor was made to be the butt of a joke for most of the film, but they both got pretty satisfying conclusions at least. I hope Thor shaves and gets a haircut though, I’m not digging the Volstagg look on him.

One sticking point for me was that Thor doesn’t even say Loki’s name once, not even to joke about him in the past or even glance at him in his cell on Asgard and this did slightly annoy me throughout the film, but I’m not overly torn up about it. Maybe they didn’t want to overdo the fact that in most of his films, Thor is grieving for Loki one way or another - we get it, he misses his brother. In the overall very long list of ways in which Loki’s character has gotten shafted in the MCU, this is one of the lesser things. 

At least Thor got to say goodbye to Frigga this time, and I couldn’t help but also be lifted (just as Thor was) by her words, As I mentioned before, this was one of those times during the film that I got to be filled with hope.

The supporting cast were also great, and I’m kinda happy that they didn’t give Captain Marvel a bigger role, along with a decent excuse for her not being there most of the time. I was worried that being a new character with an upcoming franchise, she would be made to outshine the others in Endgame and they didn’t do that. Keeping most of the focus on the original six made Endgame more of a satisfying conclusion to their stories, with just hints of what will happen now for everyone else. Point to Marvel. 

Onto fatalities:

So let’s start with the big one, Tony Stark. Iron Man was the first MCU film I watched and he’s been my favourite character (aside Loki) throughout the series. The world is a slightly duller place without him, but whilst it was undeniably upsetting and many tears were shed in the cinema and now while I’m writing this, it didn’t have the sour taste that Loki’s demise left me with. 

Because if you’re going to have to go, you might as well save the entire universe in the process.

As we passed over all the characters standing at Tony’s funeral, I was sad, but not enraged. I was struck with this sense of ‘none of them would be here without Tony’ and it left me feeling just bittersweet about the whole thing. And after a few minutes when Happy asks Morgan if she’s okay and she says she is, I know that the characters, and myself, and everyone else will be too. 

Of course we will be. 

What a wonderful, hopeful ending.

I was pretty satisfied with Natasha’s end also, to be honest. I didn’t always love her presence in past films, but I can appreciate that her story in the MCU has been all about trying to do what she thinks is right, even if it sometimes means going against allies. Her sacrifice is an act of love, and hope. It’s not done out of guilt, she’s not trying to make up for past mistakes, it’s not framed as punishment - she’s just doing what she can to ensure that everyone else, especially Clint, has the chance to carry on - just like Tony does. So, like Tony, I’m more bittersweet about it than angry. 

Loki on the other hand died brutally and needlessly - that whole opening scene in Infinity War caused so much controversy on how odd, cryptic, out of character and poorly edited it was that a lot of people straight up assumed that there just had to be more going on, there’s no way such accomplished filmmakers could be so sloppy! But like the other inconsistencies in Infinity War, Endgame offers no answers other than yep, the filmmakers really are that sloppy. 

So with the major deaths out of the way, onto some bad stuff. This film is excellent to watch don’t get me wrong, just don’t start thinking about the time travel implications for more than 5 minutes. Because whilst the film takes the time to establish its own (confusing) set of rules for time travel, it then proceeds to play pretty fast and loose with those same rules. 

Yes I’m going to complain about the timey-wimey stuff. 

It’s a shame that the film that takes such care in adding in so many references to the past films, would take such liberties in other areas. I joked with my friend that i’d need a diagram to work it out so that it makes sense, and that has not changed so if anyone here can explain it, please let me know because I’m not a scientist, time travel or sci-fi expert and I can’t wrap my head around it.

By the logic that Gamora is alive in the 2023 present and her death has been effectively erased, so must Loki’s, Heimdal’s and the other Asgardians’ deaths be erased. Gamora cannot simultaneously be sacrificed for the soul stone but not exist in the timeline that led her there. Despite the film telling us the past can’t be changed, it seems that past versions of characters can change their own future, but then also have that alternate future have no bearing on the original timeline.

Using that logic Natasha and Tony could simply be brought in from an earlier time. No one ever need die again because they can just be brought forward from the past without consequence to the current timeline. Maybe this will come up in the future again, maybe we’ll learn that taking people out of their timelines has severe personal consequences as they start to remember multiple lives and states of being, a bit like Nebula, which would then give a solid enough reason as to why people shouldn’t just be brought back and could inform the plot of Gamora’s new existence in GOTG3, along with Loki’s TV series next year. 

It still wouldn’t explain how Steve manages to pull this off without any consequences to himself and the fact that he lives in parallel to another Steve Rogers, but it would be something I guess? Even so, by going back to what appears to be the 40s/50s and staying there, Steve has also changed Peggy’s timeline (that’s one of those rules broken), and it would be a bit too dark for Marvel to link up Peggy’s eventual alzheimer’s with the fact that she has effectively led two separate lives, one with Steve and one with her husband and children - unless they’re gonna tell us that Peggy left her husband to be with Steve?? And are you telling me that Steve would sit back and not tell Peggy about HYDRA? Or help to free Bucky sooner? 

Also Steve must have re-infected Jane with the Aether. Nice one Steve. And this putting the stones back where they came from would have also meant having to avoid the time-heist troupe, lest they see Steve again and figure out they must have won.

Idk I’m thinking about this too much.

The Thanos who is killed at the end of Endgame (... ha) is the Thanos from 2014. He leaves his original timeline and doesn’t return (unlike the Infinity stones) so how is any of what he did between 2014 and 2018 possible? Is the film trying to tell me that Thanos can jump from 2014 to 2023 and be killed but somehow also exist up until he is killed by Thor one month after the snap in 2018?

The film tells us the past can’t be changed when clearly it can. Or is it that the past can be changed but it won’t affect the present? 

BUT HOW? 

Have multiple timelines been created or not? It’s suggested that by returning the stones, the new timeline that was created by removing them in the first place would no longer exist, reverting everything back to how it was. In Loki’s case, as much as it pains me to say it, as soon as Tony and Steve go back to 1970 for the Tesseract, the alternate timeline Loki made by taking it in 2012 would be essentially overwritten, reverting everything back to how it was before.

There’s a whole lot of maybe’s and what if’s circling around and I hate padding this post with ‘lol idk what’s going on’ but I went into Endgame expecting some answers but ended up just getting more questions.

Apparently the upcoming TV shows have close ties to Endgame, and how cool would it be to see a Loki series in which his 2012 tesseract-wielding-self grapples with knowledge of his own future and plans accordingly until he catches up to the present day?? Watching as this powerful agent of chaos takes a steaming dump on time itself by refusing to stay dead or be erased from existence. 

Something tells me though *cough*Marvel’s track record with Loki*cough* that this route will not be taken. 

GOTG3 will at least, hopefully, help towards sorting out this time travel mess.

So, ultimately, is Avengers: Endgame a satisfying conclusion to the series? Kinda. Just don’t try to sort out the timelines. There’s more to come yet for a good while, and maybe (there’s that maybe again) we’ll still get the answers we seek.

....

Bonus: I’m reaching higher than the moon here but until told otherwise, the ‘clink clink’ noise at the end is totally Loki getting his handcuffs removed.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE ONE

“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria 

HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)

PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s

JOEY

WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!

NASH

tell me why i'm already nervous

NASH

waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect

GINA

skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk

alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes

KIKI

so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances

GINA

I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!

ARIA

okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!

So!! Lets make a tier list

We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)

-Nathan

-Jacob

-Gina

Asked to work together

-Joey

-Joshua

Implied we're working togther but lower tier

-Jev

-Josh C

-Monty

Super Sweet & Nice

-Bri

-Kiki

-Dem

-Mo

Sweet but i want a response

-Nick

-Emma

_saira

-jake

-Nash

So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing

1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)

2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)

3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar) 

4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)

5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")

6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)

7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)

8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)

9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)

10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)

12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)

13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)

14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)

15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)

16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)

17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)

18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw

MO

If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have

Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials

Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.

Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom... 

Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...

Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.

Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.

Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.

SAIRA

I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out

JEV

i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem

JOSH C

HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.

my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!

i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.

i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.

for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.

xoxo gossip josh

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk

NATHAN

He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:

1. Aria

2. Jacob 

3. Nash

4. Jev

5. Josh

6. Monty

7. Joey

8. Nick

- - -

END LIST

JOSH C

okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!

i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.

i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.

just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)

JAKE

chile............. where the fuck am i?

i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!! 

the cast....... ill just do an assessment

dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that

saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well

joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..

nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye

joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3

nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe

emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3

jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him

kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT

monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again

josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be

gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?

mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes

brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more

aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe

skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on

jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...

and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......

i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!

JOSHUA

I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( ( 

JEV

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI

MO

trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working

ARIA

its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..

First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy- 

Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.

It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy 

So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say 

PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki

UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo

Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri

Help: Aria

So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!

So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.

I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod

JAKE

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that.... 

but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think..... 

i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?

today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that! 

brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.

i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on. 

i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..

but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win

[astral-writings]

Amnesiac

Word Count: 1,898 Reader Gender: Female I guess idk Warnings: None (i think????) Love Interest: Bucky Note: Sorry this took so long to post. Every time I tried to post it my internet would mysteriously cut out and eventually I just got frustrated and gave up haha. But I have returned in hopes that I’ll be able to finally post it ♥

I ran down the street, rain hitting my face like bullets. There was a big storm passing through the city, and I was one of the few people brave enough to be in it. Or stupid enough. Either way, I didn’t have an umbrella with me; the storm was so sudden, and it’s normally sunny around here. As I ran across the street, a dark and blurry figure caught my eye. Well, he was only blurry due to the rain. I hesitated before running up to it, not at all sure what it was. As I approached the figure, I noticed it was a human being.

A man, to be more specific. He was in dark jeans, and a darkly coloured thin sweater. I felt his neck for a pulse, relieved to find out that he was alive. I looked at his torso, noticing normal breathing patterns. The only thing signaling that he ended up here at all were the multiple bruises and cuts that littered his body. I shook his shoulder harshly, my expectations of him waking up coming to a sudden halt. After a few more minutes of trying, I gave up on my attempts to be gentle, and gave him a slap instead.

“Ow, what the hell?” He asked, voice laced with sleep.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” I asked and he looked at me warily.

“Fine.” He said shortly, eyeing me.

“Do you live far from here?” I questioned.

“I don’t know.” He said after a moment, now looking confused.

“Do you remember anything?” I questioned.

“No.” He said shortly again, confusion now replaced with irritation.

“Well,” I paused, “You can come to my place, I’ll patch you up.”

We locked eyes for a long moment, and I could sense his distrust. In the moment of silence we shared, I was able to look at him a bit clearer. His had a bit of scruff, obviously signaling that he hadn’t shaved in a few days. His hair was quite long, but it suited him somehow. He was shivering slightly, and it became evident that he was trying his best to appear completely calm. I stood back up, offering a hand to him.

“Come on, if I was trying to kill you, would I have bothered with waking you up?” I questioned.

He narrowed his eyes at me, silence continuing to fill the air. He finally took my hand, and I helped him stand. He limped a bit as he walked, but I wasn’t about to ask about it. If he really does have amnesia, then me asking him what happened right now is like talking to a brick wall. I shrugged off my jacket, the cold and rainy hair hitting my covered skin. I draped it over his shoulders, and he looked at me curiously.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“You’re cold.” I said simply and he grunted.

“Yeah, but isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” He asked and I shrugged.

“I’m alright.” I lied coolly.

“Bullshit.” He said.

“Well, I’m not taking it back until we get to my place, so suck it up.” I said stubbornly, and he just shook his head.

That day was a few weeks ago, and in that time he’s managed to remember little things. Like his name, where he was born, and all of that stuff. His wounds have healed, and the smaller cuts have vanished. Unfortunately, during this time I’ve found myself falling for the somewhat mysterious man that resided in my house. He’s taken to calling me ‘Doll’ rather than my actual name and, despite how often I tell him not to, I actually do enjoy it. It makes me blush a little, and I think that’s why he does it.

He also cusses like a sailor, which is fine by me, I’m the same way. He’s yet to remember everything, or how he even ended up on the street in the first place. It’s bound to come soon, and it scares me a little. That’s also partially why I haven’t told him how I feel about him. I’m scared that when he remembers he’ll leave and never look back. Or worse, it turns out he’s married with 8 kids. I heard footsteps enter the living room, and I looked who they came from. Bucky.

“What’s up, Doll?” He asked, sitting beside me.

“The damn television won’t work right.” I grumbled.

“You try turning it on?” He said smartly.

“Oh, ha ha, let’s all make fun of the one time I had a fucking mind blank.” I huffed.

“Just one time?” He asked, laughing a little when I hit his arm.

“You’re an ass.” I huffed.

“I’m a damn delight.” He said and I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll make sure to remember that.” I said sarcastically.

I cleared my throat as I went to go get what I called the ‘Bucky Kit’. I gave up of calling it First Aid when he was the only one I was using it on. When I got back he was already out of his tank top, the bandages on his chest now exposed. His torso was almost fully healed, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I’d feel awful if anything got infected and he ended up needing surgery. Plus, he has this phobia with hospitals and shit. Me trying to get him inside the hospital might be just as hard as getting the T.V. remote from him.

I took off his bandages, looking for any signs of an infection. When I didn’t find one, I began cleaning the dirt off of his chest. He didn’t have a lot, seeing as how I properly care for his wounds. I felt heat rise to my cheeks, a sea of inappropriate thoughts entering my brain. I cleared my throat, hoping to clear the thoughts along with it. I focused on cleaning him up, and after a long agonizing moment of silence, I was finished.

“Now, if you’d stop running into everything, you’d be healing a lot faster.” I playfully criticized.

“Doll, I gotta tell you something.” Bucky said.

“Ah, so do I.” I confessed with a small smile.

“Same time?“ Bucky offered and I nodded.

“Sure.” I agreed, and we counted to three together.

“I remember everything.“ Bucky stated.

“I think I love you.“ I said at the same time.

My eyes widened as his words sunk into my brain. While I was happy that he finally got his memory back, fear poked into my mind. Was he going to just leave me and forget me now? What if I was right and it turns out that he has 8 kids and 4 ex wives? His eyebrows furrowed together, an undetectable emotion on his face. I should’ve just shut up, I should’ve just kept that to myself.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” I spoke, my voice faltering.

“Wait, you what?” Bucky questioned.

“I suppose you’ll be wanting to leave, now.“ I continued, my voice faltering even more.

“Y/n, wait a second-“ Bucky tried.

“I have to go spring clean my room,“ I started to back away, “So I’m just going to go.“

I ran off, retreating into the safety and comfort of my room. I slammed the door shut, feeling tears brim my eyes. I felt selfish for feeling so sad about him regaining his memory, but I couldn’t help it. He was probably going to leave me and never talk to me again. He probably doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. As a matter of fact, he’s probably in his room getting ready to leave right now.

I plopped onto the side of my bed, my back facing the door. Why couldn’t I have just thought of him like a friend? I sadly wiped my tears, which only made them flood through. In a matter of seconds I was bawling, my hands covering my face instead. I tried to keep the noise nonexistent, the last thing I needed was for Bucky to hear me cry. He’d probably just laugh. I don’t want to see him when he leaves, I just want him to go without telling me.

“Y/n?” Bucky questioned after knocking on my door.

“Go away!“ I yelled, my voice betraying me.

Instead of hearing footsteps walk away, I heard my door open and then close. Great, he’s come to ridicule me, or come to tell me good bye and to delete his number. Thankfully, my hair hid my face, so it was harder to tell that I had been crying. I heard him slowly walk closer to me before abruptly stopping in his tracks. I scooted a little further away from him, hoping he’d take a hint. Unfortunately, he didn’t.

Instead I heard him walk even closer, moving my hands away from my face. I looked away from him, focusing on the wall that faced my side. He moved my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I took a deep breath as he gently moved my head, forcing me to look at him. He was crouched on the floor, looking up at me with concern. Oh great, this is even worse, I get pity. His hand stayed on my cheek, his thumb pushing away tears.

“Hey, why are you crying, doll?” Bucky asked in a quiet tone.

“It’s stupid, you don’t have to worry about me.” I replied in a slightly bitter tone.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me.” He stated, completely serious.

“Well, now that you’ve got your memory back, you’re going to leave and I’ll just be left here with a memory. You’re not going to want to talk to me-“ I began rambling, making me cry a bit harder.

“Is that what this is about?” He questioned, taking my silence as confirmation, “Doll, you didn’t give me a chance to reply.”

“Well, I just assumed-” I began.

“Well, you assumed wrong.” He stated, “If you had given me a chance to talk, you would’ve found out that I feel the same toward you.” He stated, and my heart raced.

“R-Really?” I stuttered out, my crying voice fucking everything up.

“No, I’m fucking with you, of course I do.” He said and I sighed.

“You’re still going to leave and forget me.” I pointed out, and he raised his brows.

“Even if I didn’t love you, how could I ever forget you?” He asked.

“I dunno.” I mumbled, fiddling with my hands.

“Doll, you’re too amazing to forget,” He smiled lightly, “Plus, you can be a real pain in the ass-Ow!” He yelped after I hit his arm.

I glared at him for a second before a smile took over my lips, and I hugged him instead. He instantly hugged me back, standing up and spinning me around for a second. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders and off of my heart, the sadness and fear leaving me. My tears dried, no longer falling from my eyes and staining my cheeks. After he let me go, I pulled away and stared at him for a moment.

“So does this mean that we’re a thing or-” I began, getting cut off with a kiss.

“What do you think?” He questioned after pulling away.

“I think that doesn’t really answer my question.” I stated.

“Yes, we’re a thing, you dork.” He said, rolling his eyes.

[the5thelement]

I'm so afraid of having people worry or stress about me I'll never actually talk to them about how I'm feeling. I really think I need to talk to someone though. I'm okay in that I go about my days, I'm still doing why I have to do and I'm able to rationalize why I'm feeling this way. I just don't know how to move past it. I thought I did, I guess Part of me constantly doing for other people is so I don't have to focus on myself. I literally hate talking about myself, I'm almost incapable of talking about my feelings to people, I can write them here cause nobody in my life will see this. The past year an a half has been the hardest in my fucking life. I spent a month in a court room watching people who ruined my fathers life already try and discredit his livelihood, his work ethic and his character. I listened for a month to a heartless bastard try and tear my father apart, try and down play how his quality of life isn't totally ruined even when this next surgery could leave him a quadriplegic, that doesn't mean anything to them though. A slight setback compared to what everyone else is going through, I got shingles, for 4 weeks I had the worst pains, at times I literally could not touch my skin at all u till the nerve pain went away. My best friend and mother of 4 beautiful babies tried to take her life due to post- parting depression, I thank god everyday she's still here and is better. On top of all that, the first thing that started off the 2 year streak of heartbreak and I don't think anything can be as emotionally, and physically painful as losing someone who was a brother to me, he was my fucking brother and he took his own life. The entire situation kills me, I'm heart broken for him of course I miss him every day of my life but like I can't just think about him and not think about everything else that connects to it. I was handling it alright I guess, I kept busy taking care of my grandmother and driving my dad to his doctors appts and hospitals and court I had enough to keep me occupied. So when my grandmother really started getting bad I went to her everyday, sometimes once, twice, three times a day. In October when she really just stopped eating or drinking, responding to any of us, my mom and I slept there every night. We knew it was her time, she practically was begging god to take her a few weeks before. My mom and I slept in chairs for over a week, we finally told my dad and siblings to all come my sister and brother in law came from Maryland my other sister from the city. We sat till 330am talking at her bedside, as soon as everybody left, my mom and I got in our chairs and I was holding her hand about to sleep she started to go, her breathing was getting slower and slower, and I watched her take her last gasp for air. She was 92 and she's suffered so much I was happy she was at peace but I selfishly still needed her. She gave me a purpose, she is the only person who needed me and made me feel like what I do is worth something. My entire life has literally been centered around her. I quit sports to take care of her, I used to stay up till 5am after getting home from class at 11pm to be there when she would hallucinate and yell to calm her so she wouldn't wake everyone else up at night. One year for some reason I woke up really depressed on my birthday and went to her and she didn't even remember who I was when I walked in but she still made me feel so good, eventually she realized who I was and continued to tell me she loved me the most. I didn't work to be there for her and I wouldn't change any of it, she's the most magnificent women, the strongest women there ever was she deserved to be at peace. But now I'm left to figure out a life with out her. I was crushed when John died for so many reasons but i was still always sure of myself, sure of my purpose and what I wanted... i think, idk anymore. When Lady G passed, im heartbroken only because I miss her presence, I am happy she's at peace with my grandpa and her son again. I've had crazy anxiety since she passed away though. My brother in law went through something similar, he took care of his grandmother and she passed and he get a little lost. He was telling me to occupy myself with photography, really start practicing my guitar, start working out again, go back to school like I've been wanting. I've still yet to do any of that because then the day after my grandma passed away my other grandma was hospitalized, I spent two weeks in pa with my aunt going to the hospital everyday, told she has 10 masses in her brain, telling us they're sure it's cancer we're waiting for a biopsy result to confirm. It wasn't cancer it wasn't fatal she will have more than the next three months, because of her autoimmune disease it gave a chance for some parasite to cause a major infection in her brain causing lesions in her brain. So now we know what her problem is, now a new problem they can't treat the autoimmune disease and the brain infection at the same time. They have to stop treatment completely for her immune disease to help fight the infection, another problem, she's allergic to penicillin and one other antibiotic, they figured out some other ones but it's a combination of things idk not as effective. I spent a month watching my grandma die and then before I could burry her, I was expecting to lose my other grandmother. She was out of the hospital for 2 months and today she went back in for a lung infection, possibly due to the parasite, nothing fucking makes sense. They're telling us ten different things all the time I don't even think they know if they can get rid of it. Now my dad has a lung infection which he may end up hospitalized again if it doesn't get under control because he's got lung disease from 9/11 and like clock work for years he would be hospitalized for two weeks at a time. Bonus he's also allergic to penicillin, if he can't get rid of this infection completely he may have to wait longer for his next spine surgery. I need a fucking job and I don't know which way is up lately. Everyday is something and I take one step to lose 3, I don't know how to help myself and better myself when everybody else is going through what they're going through and I feel like I'm being pulled every which way yet still standing still. I can't focus on anything, at all, ever anymore. I watched a kids movie today and his brother died and I started crying then the fucking robot played a video of the kid and I started crying, I saw a meditalks post of a spinal fusion and I teared up terrified that this will be his 4th spine surgery, will it leave him paralyzed, will it be the last or will it be successful and help him be able to feel better for once. Everything's stressing me the fuck out and the only thing I've been able to do about it is type these fucking post to help clear my head. And it helps for a little while until the next thing comes along. I want to actually feel the vibes I give off to people. When I'm laughing and playing and joking I want that to be genuine, I want to be able to tell people I'm good and believe it and for it to be true. I'm blessed more than I could ever deserve, I know this. I really pray that when everybody and everything is settled again, why my grandmas out of the hospital again, when my dads feeling better, when we finally complete this move, I pray that I can finally focus on myself. I need to rebuild myself, mentally, physically, spiritually and professionally. To better help others you need to better yourself first. I need to get back on track. I'm feeling stuck, I've been at a standstill but I'm trying, I need to try harder. I'll get to where I'm supposed to be. It's just so hard when I still feel that hole in my chest. I still feel an actual emptiness and I don't know if it'll ever go away, I'm learning to live with it but it's just so hard.