#the inevitability of life I guess
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Oh hee hee hee watching my peers surpass me in every aspect of my life is going to be a very interesting life lesson to work through
#granted I live a very limited life. in that there are only a few social groups I am in#literally work and school. I do not live an actual fulfilling life#but by god if I’m still going to go through the standard 20 something existential crisis about it#apparently barely even having a peer group to speak of does not free me from getting fuckin.. lapped#I have reverted. it’s like my 12 years in public school all over again#common theme common theme#what’s worse is taking to some of my (much older) work friends about it and they go oh ha ha yeah. here’s my experience that set me back#8 years. it happens. this is unavoidable and a cause of deep regret writhing myself. good luck dealing with it :)#the inevitability of life I guess#wish I could take comfort in it
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truth is, I used to dream about boys like you
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: illust#lmhs#timelapse#2.5 hours niCE#i mean its still 2am but it could be and has been worse#realized while looking at this tht this au has Vastly increased both my use of and love for the colour green#she will never dethrone red but she definitely gets the award fr most improved#megumi especially looks . sososo good in green which is unsurprising but i am surprised anyway#speaking of megu#i love th timelapse feature so much u get to see me fighting fr my life with yuuji fr like 20 minutes then get megumi first try#there's a reason i needed a ref sheet for yuuji and not megumi. drawing megu is like riding a bike fr me#like minor adjustments r inevitable but his overall face/hair/expression come so easily and i love him all the more for it#anyway#i could have sworn i used adonis fv lyrics for a caption before??? it was so long ago#i guess i must have changed my mind on tht other post bc adonis remains free real estate >:3#PLEASE listen 2 adonis fv........pls i beg.....pls it is so itfs coded.......#hina pleading fr someone anyone to listen to former vandal goes unanswered episode 542346 :(((
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the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
#we should have had the option to leave him in the fade instead of hawke or a warden#he would've just annoyedly shuffled his way back out of there a week later#dragon age#dragon age origins#first enchanter irving#he must be SO annoying to the chantry because it's heavily implied he's made his playground#out of tirelessly finding technicalities and loopholes to exploit that they can't *quite* call him on without domino effects going off#I think first enchanter in the circle system at origins times is a position that invariably and inevitably leaves you morally compromised#but I feel he really does his best within the rules he's given to play with and personally i love him a bit for that. and also#for being an unkillable lil shit. insufferable. inconquerable in his 'I'm about to be such an annoyance to you' impish spirit.#the I'm going to suffer but guess what. so are you of it all. traumatize the chantry back#I just imagine sophia sending letters home right before the vote for independence like '...dad I am hearing some INSANE rumours out here#what the actual fuck is going on back home???'#and he's like 'nothing that you need to worry about sweetie just keep living your best life and have fun killing darkspawn <3'#(there's something that makes me feel So much about how consistently his stance is like... 'you'll always be welcome here#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you#turn and glance back. not even once. I feel somehow both so abandoned and so incredibly loved it's wild)#oc: sophia amell
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grian broke the curse, jimmy broke the curse, joel broke the curse…
godammit tango
GODAMMIT TANGO YOU. TRIED? YOU TRIED. FIFTEEN MINUTES IN IS TRYING RIGHT,
#answered#secret life spoilers#god it was so funny the way everyone went 'WELL I GUESS THAT WAS INEVITABLE' but also TANGO. MAN.
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twitter takes on toshiro makes me cry... bro was subjected to microaggressions for 5 HOURS and raised in a high-context culture (where you Do Not say negative things outright), and ppl are still like "no he's just a bad person bc he's mean to my boy laios"
#dungeon meshi#nakamoto toshiro#like. he's not 100% in the right but he's also not 100% in the wrong!#sometimes people just have mismatched communication styles and it's unfair to pin all the blame on one side#(i guess part of why i'm so frustrated is because i'm asian and while i use an english name so that my name isn't butchered#some members of my family do have the experience of westerners getting their name wrong and refusing to try better#or like 'why don't you have an English name to make things easier' etc etc)#(to be fair i don't mind my English name and have used it my entire life/it's on my official docs since i was a baby. but also.#part of it *is* because it's just. more convenient to use an english name when they'll inevitably ask for one anyway y'know?)
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His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun But all he had come for was having some fun
#riverdale#riverdaleedit#hiramaissance#i spent WAY too long on this.#i guess i am tagging this#hirarchie#for blacklist purposes#even though this is literally about some of the little and big ways hiram ruins archie's life#which. to be fair. is also what hirarchie is about.#anyway. here it is hope u like it#one side effect of this is that i will inevitably think of hirarchie whenever i hear cotton eye joe.#for the foreseeable future.
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I hope this blog is great AI dataset poison. Of course I have 3rd party sharing turned off, but it's not like an AI company is actually gonna listen to that stuff
The majority of generated transformers imagery I've seen is already just blobs of color. Ironically, robots are hard for AI to understand. And here am I, with hundreds of scruched up little (though maybe even too little to be included in a dataset) images, selected specifically for looking weird, all tagged various transformers characters. Just imagine what all those croissant Arcees could do to an image generator!
#not a face#anti ai#random thing i thought of a few days ago but forgot to post until now#i'm sorry i haven't responded to so many people yet#irl stuff has gotten to me and i haven't had the energy to try and get my slow laptop to run tumblr#so i've just been relying on the queue which is actually stocked for once#i'd be lying if i said everything was okay but it's also nothing to be worried about#just one of those 'life happens' situations that was inevitable and a long time coming#ok it's not even a 'situation' really#i knew a sad thing was going to happen and then it happened and now it's over#it's not that bad i promise this has happened to me like 30 times already and i know how to deal with it#and having to deal with it is basically the only consequence#sorry for the 4am trauma dump#i guess messing up my sleep schedule was also a consequence lol
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it's normal to be disappointed when you learn that your dreams are already dead. but just like a phoenix, our death will lead us to our own rebirth; and like a supernova, some deaths are beautiful.
#context is in the tags where i hide#which will be a lot#so uh#you all probably know about... my au.#all the team is busy. of course including me.#one's in uni; the other... idk. probably living his life.#as i mentioned in a previous post i've been missing the times when the group was still as active as how young people would be#and the youthful days i had in general#one thing i used to be scared of is change.#now i don't think i'm scared of change anymore. just dreadful but no longer scared#because change is inevitable and there's nothing we can do#so uhhh#go with the flow i guess#i always let the people i cherish live their own lives and i give them all the privacy they need#even if it means not being able to keep in touch with them#that is if they'd still remember me#whether they would or wouldn't that's okay with me#(no hard feelings everything is genuine and honest)#so... let's go straight to the point#the au would probably end up being solely written... that is if the art stuff doesn't push through#it's not like i've grown sick of those 'promises' i totally understand them i SWEAR.#i just don't wish to be misunderstood but like i just. couldn't spit all of it out in front of them#i'm sorry for being a coward#and if you see this... i don't know. probably tell me how you're doing? and either give me hopes that this could all still be sorted out-#or tell me if it's impossible at this point?#please just don't give me any false hope.#and... if we all ever don't push through#i'm genuinely sorry if i tired you or wasted your time and energy.#i'm sorry for dragging you to all my demands and perfectionisms and insecurities#missing entry
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Me at the top of 'Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu Are the Same Person' AO3 Tag hill: Surely this won't awaken any feelings of interest, appreciation, or excessive sympathy for OG!Shen Qingqiu
Me, having slid down the slippery slope of 'Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu Are the Same Person' AO3 Tag hill and found herself strolling through 'Shen Jiu Gets a Happy Ending' AO3 Tag lane:
#i dont know what i was expecting shocked pikachu face etc#anyway i guess i care about shen jiu now lmao#svsss#i mean i always felt bad for him in that he just gets fucking deleted and no one notices or cares#but now i care enough to read fics where he can also get a better go at things!#such is the life#another problematic fave for the collection#one more poor little meow meow for the shelter#at least in this case luo bingge is like...so excessive in his revenge that i think this was inevitable regardless#but reading the grand unified theory of shen qingqiu shoved me riiight down that slope#shen jiu
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#welp. my phone just died like DIED-died#screen went all black and now there's only blue and red text saying 'Qualcomm CrashDump Mode'#that... does not sound good#currently googling how to fix it and it seems i have to resign myself to losing all my non-backed-up data#it's still up in the air whether i'll be able to un-brick the phone at all#going to try to flash it from a pc if the simpler methods don't end up working. which they're not. so far#but till then i guess i'm phoneless? good times#trying not to stress as i reflect upon how many aspects of life require you to have a phone these days#hopefully i won't run into any of those situations any time soon#(she laughed hopelessly. already knowing she inevitably would.)#cosmo gyres#personal#o hear my sad complaint
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Just finished The Silt Verses episode 41 and am now inconsolable at 3 in the morning with work in 6 hours. Yes I know better than to listen to The Silt Verses at bedtime, but the dark and the quiet and the lure of a new episode got to me.
And there's another one waiting. I can't afford another hour of wakefulness that might bring me to meltdown again. I am weak, but also exhausted. I think I can force myself to save it.
The thing is, it's not even the deaths that got to me. It's the millennia of lonely hungry suffering; and the hope of kindness, and a friendly face making the signs of their private languages, long forgotten. To remind them, even after all the centuries, that they were once loved.
I'm gonna have a pickle and some water before I give myself a cry hangover.
#if anyone dares to make some ghoulish post about how i'm a bad person for crying at 3 am over fiction instead of over real life atrocities#they can fuck right off#sleep is a necessity and i limit my exposure to atrocity news when i know i'm going to need to sleep#this caught me by surprise#it's the first time tsv has set me bawling instead of making me excited or anxious or horrified#which. well done i guess but fuck my workday tomorrow#trigger warnings wouldn't have helped because i normally have no problem with death#it was the kindness that got me. how do you trigger warn for kindness#that said thanatophobes tend to react VERY badly to discussion of the cosmic inevitability of death so#a warning about that might be warranted#anyway. great episode and i'll try to avoid 42 until tomorrow#tsv#the silt verses#tsv spoilers#tsv 41
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💼
#Layoffs started up again at work on Friday#Our success is tied directly to the commercial construction industry‚ so I guess this was inevitable#I think I’ve spent the last five years carefully shrinking my life down to nothing but “at work” and “burnt out from work”#and I’d desperately like a change#But in the meantime‚ I’ve got this job that I can’t bring myself to quit that other people are being involuntarily removed from#so I’m feeling weird about that#It’s also June now‚ which means that the Pride posting has started#and seeing all of these posts about community and fullness and the proverbial “it” getting better has just been a reminder#that none of those things have ever really found their way into my postage stamp-sized life#and I’m feeling weird about that‚ too#Anyway‚ don’t mind me#I’m just feeling very keenly aware of the passage of time and very weird about the way that I’m reticent to occupy any space in my own life#Wishing a very happy Sunday Scaries to all who celebrate
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cora’s bad time hell simulation steps or how to play “sprite station for girl” “harvest moon ds cute” the wrong way
(all ways are wrong this game is Accursed)
ok so here’s what my disorganized “guide” to myself for harvest moon ds for girl (aka indecipherable notes i wrote to myself as i played and revised as i tested various things and restarted due to mistakes) looks like. at some point when i become a real gamer i will write a legible guide meant for eyes to look at but uhhh this is how i play this accursed game personally
i’m not sure if anything i wrote will make any sense since i wrote it as notes to myself so probably definitely use fogu and fc2 jonason wiki (may not work but some pages should be archived) instead
ALSO if you’ve never played or barely played the game it won’t make sense at all! hmds was my first harvest moon so i am used to various horrors!
my play style is probably not fun in general HOWEVER if you are a grinding hell goblin like me then it’s GREAT!!!! if not you may still find it amusing that the game gives you permission to play like this
(it’s a great background task game while doing like productive stuff but otherwise playing this way would probably be unbearable)
(image limit)
anyway after that the days go a lot faster, you’ll get the island on summer 1, so on spring 30 i put all my money into million G tickets and sell 200 of em, do the 5x money thing, and save the rest. so when thomas comes the next day to sell you the 900 million G island you can just sell 180 tickets and do the 5x money thing again with like ~600 million G tickets left over. it takes up inventory but you’ll get the shelf in a few days. basically you just need to remember to order from the TV shopping every saturday and place orders with gotz and gray whenever they finish stuff.
random tips
after unlocking the fuckass hot spring sprites (the ones that require you to spend a total of 700 1 hour sessions in the hot springs) i usually grind grazing points— if you put your animals outside for 5 hours you get a “Love Point”, but if you interact with them after they earn that LP then the timer switches over and you can get another LP after 5 more hours. if you wear the time ring the whole time it’s 2.5 hours. i’m not very good at explaining this but basically if you’re super efficient you can get way more animal LP than you realistically should, which is great because the touch glove petting minigame is Bad!!!!
i usually wait on getting the rest of the purple sprites (the ones that require you to hire the purple team and ask for healing) until i’m totally done with the indigo team, cuz i wanna get HG’s purple heart event asap, but you can switch the order if you want
by summer y1 you’ll basically have a feel for everything. aside from Skye, Leia, HG and WP everyone can be married early-mid autumn if you want
if you want to Gay (in the japanese version only) keira is the quickest to marry. leia is the quickest to max affection but it’s impossible to get leia year 1 because the bottle you need to fish up can only be caught in spring. you have to wait until at least year 5 for WP and iirc year 6 for HG.
#i’m really sorry i can’t make this more organized#if i literally ever have time i’ll just make a video guide instead of pasting this because it’s easier to explain with visuals….#i can’t Write in an organized way i can only Visual Medium#i have a very complicated relationship with corobuckle station for girl#it scratches my brain#(derogatory)#(positive)#i have no idea how many hours of HMDS i’ve played in my life but it’s definitely the game i’ve played the most of all time#i’ll just paraphrase something i read on a japanese wiki for hmds/koroste a long time ago:#’i once again feel that the effort required for the completion of the task is unreasonable’#god i really hope ds gets a remake so all of the titles you can get in the mailbox become steam achievements#bokumono#if people find out there are achievements that take at minimum real life decades to complete with basically no reward#gamers will lose their minds and society will collapse#‘trying to accomplish it is like trying to collect a sparrow’s tears#so at some point it may be inevitable that you have to give up trying’#i really think the devs saw the ds could handle higher values than gba and went insane without considering balance at all#currently i’m trying to record as many cutscenes as i can in the jp version since y’know. english translation is very awkward#i am also trying to see if the pastor carter/cardi marriage option exists in the english version of cute#i will update so stay tuned for that if you want sex on the phone with pastor cardi b. i guess
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While I’m on my hg bullshit I’m still amazed I accidentally created such an amazing parallel and connection with River and Hollow Ground in the water theming.
I just named him River on a whim in 2018 because it felt right. And later decided on the why when I discovered he would’ve had to pick it himself.
Call that fate motivation coded.
#as in /I/ am fate motiv coded#ive stripped that off of river for now because I didn’t like the inevitable vibes#too defeatist for river#he is more fate as in ‘this means something. this is important’#less ‘well i am just an unwilling passenger of the road of life i guess’#idle chatter#fhr#hollow ground#oc: river becker#river+hg: protected#edit: for those unaware the Why he named himself river is that he’s REALLY into water#nautical obsessed nerd
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when you're experiencing something and you get that underlying awareness that oh. this is a canon event. what is happening currently is permanently altering the course of my life and who I am as a person as we speak, and there is no course of my life, no universe, where this doesn't happen. right. cool.
#shitpost#anyway guess who just undeniably experienced a canon event 👍#long time coming but inevitable#i don't think there was any way my life was happening without this happening in it#anyway. nothing to do about it but continue I guess
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cuties i love talking about kevin day with you and this blog is mostly run on asks and kekeing with you all but i must ask that you don't send me any more asks doomguessing about tsc. i understand and sometimes i even agree but it's just not something i'm interested in talking about! the world is so beautiful and large and kevin day has the prettiest wettest biggest eyes in the world. send me asks about him instead ok
#im not anon scolding its just that (motions vaguely)#ive done my due talking about all the things that are bad in aftg#the racism specifically gets to me the most and i dont want to talk about it anymore#if you scroll down my blog you will find my criticism of how thea and nicky and riko were handled#you will find it all#and im not interested in rehashing it anymore#i dont know if nora sakavic has changed or not in the past ten years#and im not particularly interested in guessing either#i enjoy the original aftg work and its what ill keep blogging about unless#kevin day is so prevalent in tsc its inevitable for me to read it#if that is not the case then i probably wont bother with it#and if youre afraid itll be a bad book you shouldnt either#lets talk about kevin instead. Forever#i promise outside of my little kevin day microblog i already have plenty to worry about re: the horrors#i am a real life communist if you can believe it#so i understand. and i know. but we must be happy#its the only way to exist#txt
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