#the image of the dad with the three leashed up kids

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

Mother effing Spongebob being the only full-grown adult (if you don't count Cosmo and Wanda, who can't really do anything anyway because their magic is on the fritz) in the Nicktoons Unite gang is, objectively, the funniest thing about the crossover and I don't think the Fandom does enough with it tbh

[writingroom21]

Girls On Film

pairing: pornstar!Rafe x pornstar!Reader

Summary: Running away from home to become a pornstar was never in your books. Having to move in with some asshole wan't in it either. Surely living in a house with someone you dislike can't be hard. It's just work, that's all it is. Right?

Warining: 18+, smut, fingering, masturbation, oral (m receiving), teasing, (let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 4.3K

Say Hello To The Camera

The girls around you all seem so confident. All dressed in minimal clothing, caked in makeup, sultry smiles plastered on their faces. You feel out of place, not fully but it feels like you don’t belong there. You’re dressed in a skirt and crop top with minimal makeup, you look more natural. Everyone there seemed like they were made for this life and you were the only one who wasn’t. It was like all eyes were on you, which isn’t something new.

You grew up in a small town, everything you did was broadcasted for the whole town. You learned that at a young age after your dad left your mom for his mistress. It was all anyone could talk about. All the parents were talking about it and then all the kids at school talked about it. Your life was the laughing stock of the town.

From then on your mother made you have a certain image, keeping you on a tight leash. She needed you to be picture perfect so you wouldn’t bring shame to your family. You were never allowed to date, go to parties, or even have sleepovers. That just made everyone at school pick on you more because you were the perfect little girl. You hated being perfect.

Once you hit puberty boys started to notice you and you couldn’t even react. The first time you’ve ever been kissed was when you were playing truth or dare at a party you snuck out to in highschool. Being a horny teenager who’s scared to lose her virginity so as to not disobey her mother is pretty hard. It was also hard to sneak the fact that you eventually did at senior prom. 

You remember having to face you mom late that night. All the questions still clear in your mind. Everything you’ve done was to make her happy, hiding who you were so she would approve of you. All the sneaking around and keeping a low profile is the only thing you really know. So being here is like a culture shock to what you grew up with.

So to say all of this is sort of overwhelming is an understatement. 

The number you were given when you first walked in was called out. Reluctantly you get up and walk over to the person waiting for you. This is what you wanted, you left home to do something that intrigued you. Since you were sixteen you’ve been watching porn. It became a habit for you and slower you started exploring yourself to find out you really like sex. That’s why you moved out of your small town and moved to Charleston. It was the closest porn company to you.

Also a move that you could actually afford, California is too far away and you barely have money. This is what you wanted, so why are you so afraid? The room looks practically sterile. White walls and clean furniture carefully placed in the room. There’s three people sitting at a table watching as you walk in like hawks. Two guys and a girl, then a camera placed directly beside them. The little red light is on, signaling they were already recording.

“What’s your name?” One of the guys asks you. “Oh um.” You tell them your name. Their eyes scan down your body, watching your every move. You stand there perfectly still with a smile on your face. “You know you’re going to have to come up with a name if you get any further in this.” You take a deep breath. “I know.”

They all look at each other, the lady looks at you. “Can you take your clothes off for us sweetie? We want to see what you look like.” Nervously you strip from your clothes. You’re left in a tiny pair of panties that cover nothing. They write down on note pads, taking notes about your appearance. “Why don’t you touch yourself?”

Without a second thought you start to drag your hand slowly on your body. Fingertips skimming your skin to reach your nipples, pinching them between your fingers. For a couple of minutes you play with your breast, giving them a squeeze and pushing them together. Your nipples are hard from all the playing. One of the guy’s mouth drops when you slip your panties off and make your way over to the couch.

Sitting down you spread your legs, exposing yourself to the room. Your left hand spreads your pussy as the right toys with your clit. Moans slip from your lips as you continue to play with yourself, a finger dipping in. You open your eyes and smile at the camera, slipping another finger in. The two fingers scissor you open, curling to give you the best pleasure ever.

The three of them watch in awe as you finger yourself, bringing yourself to the very edge of an orgasm and stopping. Only to continue the cycle once again. By the time you actually cum both of the guys are close to cumming in their pants. The lady’s panties are soaked and she’s not even into girls that way. You were a star in the making.

“So when can you come in next?”

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

“No, I'm not doing it.” The voice on the other end sighs. “Rafe you can’t just ignore this. I’m telling you this girl is different.” Jared, his manager, tries to reason with him. “I’m not going to work with someone who doesn't know how to do anything. Find someone else to do it.” He’s honestly tired of them trying to get him to do castings. This has to be the fourth one he’s turned down. 

It’s always the same thing, Jared calls him and it’s something below his pay grade. “Listen Rafe, you’re good but you need to do this. I don’t know how many times you can keep turning things down before they find another new pretty face. Trust me when I tell you, this girl is something else.” He knows he has to do it. There’s only so many times he can say no to them.

He’s been in the industry for a year and made them a lot of money but that doesn’t mean someone else couldn’t. “How much?” He’s walking around his kitchen opening cabinets to see what he can eat. “$2,000 just to do the screen test. Then you both get 20% of the profits made. Think about it after every $5,000 you would get $1,000. With her, trust me this will make you rich.”

Rafe thinks about it as he opens up a cereal box and takes a handful of it. “I’ll do it but I want 3,000 for just doing it. You know I don’t like working with newbies.” The guy on the other end laughs out loud, the vibrations ringing in his ear. “We’ll see if you still have that attitude after. The shoot is at three so you better get here for two. You should get to know her a little.”

He looks at the clock on the stove and sees that it's twelve already. “Yeah whatever I’ll be there.” Hanging up, he takes another handful of cereal and goes to get ready. He makes sure to wash with extra hot water to be squeaky clean, scrubbing down his body to be as clean as possible. Next he grooms himself by trimming his pubes, leaving them at a good length so they aren’t all over the place.

The whole time he keeps cursing himself for not having in his contract NO CASTINGS. It’s not that he has something against them, it's just he would rather not do them. They’re great to watch, especially when you can tell they are really new to everything. He would rather be on the watching end than the receiving end. The girls just seem to over do it when you’re the one they are with.

Rafe would rather be paired with someone who’s been in the industry long enough to be comfortable on camera, not shy and awkward. He’s frustrated the whole drive there, slamming the car door when he gets out. This is so stupid. He thinks, greeting everyone as he walks by. He walks into the green room where Jared and Liz are waiting for him, but when he enters it's just you.

You’re just sitting there  going through different porn magazines. “Who are you?” His voice scares you. Looking up from the page you meet blue eyes, you tell him your name a bit distracted by him. He has to be one of the cutest guys you’ve ever seen. He’s tall, well built, god his buzz cut is to die for, plus his arms would be good for putting you in a headlock. Overall you would say he’s really fucking hot.

“Oh the new girl right?” A bit nervous about meeting your potential costar you squirm under his gaze. “Um yeah. Are you Rafe?” You’re picking at the skin around your fingers, a nervous habit you’ve gained over the years. Just further proof that Rafe doesn’t want to be here, you’re new. Not just to the industry but to all of it. He’s seen it before with other co-workers.

They get paired with the new girl and boy is she new. Never sucked a dick and sure as hell never been fucked. It’s not hard to spot those types of new girls, they dress differently from the ones who have lost their virginity. Their demeanor is different, you can just tell by looking at them. That’s what Rafe sees as he looks at you. Some little girl who doesn’t even know where pleasure begins or ends. You looked like the embodiment of virginity, pure like the coke he takes. 

He’s going to eat you alive.

“Are you sure you should be here?” The look of confusion on your face is met with his closed off stare. “So you’re not Rafe?” His stare gets more intense. “I am. Are you going to answer my question?” You scoff at him. “Well considering they asked me back, yeah I would say I should be here? Should you? I feel like they have rules about being a dick.” You may have been the nice girl growing up but that's because you were forced to. You are tired of being her and everyone always looking down at you.

“That’s a smart mouth you got there. Hope you know how to use it.” Rafe’s steps echo as he walks to the couch you are sitting on. “Well I hope your dick is not as small as you make it out to be. Would feel bad for the girls you work with.” It’s surprising how quick you are with your comebacks. It’s like you don’t even think before talking back to him.

As he watches you, he sees your leg bouncing just another sign of why you shouldn’t be here. He may like the way you talk back but this isn’t a place for a girl like you. Just as he was about to make a snide remark the door bursts open. Liz walks in first then Jared and finally Micky. “Alright sweetie, figure out a name for us yet?”

All eyes are on you waiting for your response. “Maisy Day.” Rafe wants to laugh at the name, Maisy out of all things? “Sweet and innocent. Great job.” But Micky has a point, it sounds flowery if that even makes sense. It’s like he would find you out in the middle of a field, all innocent waiting for him to ravage you. On second thought maybe he can get used to the idea of this.

“It’s a simple blowjob seen okay. Rafe you will be recording everything on this camera.” Jared places the camera on the table in front of them. “He’s going to be recording you and just try to go with the flow on this one. We want to see how you are behind the camera a bit more and then you’ll get a script.” You shouldn’t be nervous, you’ve seen plenty of these videos, even practiced with the dildo you had.

Now that it’s getting closer to being real it’s scary. “Alright let’s get started.” Like second nature, Rafe picks up the camera and points it at you. The red light turns on after he presses the record button. He’s leaning the lens down, getting you sitting on the couch in the frame. You look so pretty sitting there for him, even prettier when you slide down to your knees.

“Smile at the camera baby. Tell them your names.” Sitting back on your knees looking up at the camera in Rafe’s hand with a smile. “Hi my name’s Maisy and I’m your new wet dream.” You seal it with a kiss and wink towards the lens. The camera picks up your hands as they unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down. Rafe can’t help but get excited when he sees how much you’re ready to suck him off. 

He doesn’t get why he was so upset about having to do this screen test in the first place. Seeing you on your knees for him was enough compensation. He tries to calm the excitement because he still has a chance of being right. You seem good so far but that can only last for so long. “Oh fuck.”

The words slip out before his brain can even catch up. Your tongue licks up from the base to his tip, swirling it around before giving it a kiss. “You like that?” The way you tilt your head slightly is making your head spin. Then your lips wrap around him and give him a nice suction. Whatever can’t fit in your mouth is occupied by your hand. Rafe’s other hand grips a fist full of your hair, helping to guide your movements. 

“Just like that baby. Such a good girl aren’t you?” The moan you let out is muffled by him, the vibrations adding to his pleasure. He’s getting so lost in the moment looking at you from the lens and in person. So lost that he didn’t realize he was thrusting into your mouth or that your hand slipped under your skirt.

Only when you let out a particularly loud moan did he finally realize what you were doing. “Are you rubbing your pussy right now?” Your closed eyes open wide from being caught. “I thought you were a good girl, just a slut in disguise aren’t you? Bet you touch yourself every night to the thought of someone fucking you good.” Your eyes close on instinct as your fingers increase their speed.

You’re matching your strokes to his thrust, trying to feel what he felt. He maybe an asshole but he’s a hot one. You honestly wouldn’t mind fucking him. Rafe looks over his shoulder to see the three of them just watching what is unfolding. The clock right behind them shows that only two minutes had passed and he was ready to blow his load.

Not wanting to be embarrassed of cumming too early he pulls your hair back as his hips retreat from your face. He rubs his dick over your face as you give it open mouthed kisses when you could. “Lay back on the couch.” Your tilting your head again but this time in confusion. “Come on baby. Don’t make me punish you.”

Following his instructions you get up and lay down on your back. He joins you on the couch sitting on his knees between your legs. Lifting your skirt up, he focuses the camera on your pussy, using his fingers to spread you out for everyone to see. “Such a pretty pussy.” He brings the lens back up, positioning it so it catches his tip playing with you.

You squirm under him as he rocks his hips back and forth. The girth on him spreads your lips with each stroke perfectly hitting your clit. He continues like this for a few more minutes, teasing you every step of the way. Giving you a few strokes and almost putting the tip in and backing out. Just when you think he’s going to go past the tip, bury himself deep within you, he just psychs out.

It was driving you all mad. “Please.” The voyeurs in the room don’t know what to do. They told Rafe just a simple blowjob, but this. This doesn’t really feel like they should be here, which is new to them. “Awww the poor baby, can’t take a little teasing.” You whine more at his words. “Shhh it’s okay. You can handle it.” The only sensation you get is from him sliding between your lips. 

He’s trying not to touch anymore of you, afraid that you’ll be burned into his skin forever. You’ve taken him by surprise and he doesn’t like when someone else has control. To him this is his way of overpowering you. He wants to be ingrained in your brain before you run off to fuck someone else. Let’s face it, Jared was right, there is something about you. 

Bringing his right hand down, he places his thumb right under his tip adding pressure to his strokes. With only a few more strokes your mouth drops open, letting out the most pornographic moan he’s ever heard. He couldn’t stop himself from cumming if he wanted to, his hips still moving to milk himself.

He leans back a tiny bit more to catch all of the mess he made of you. Your pussy is covered in his cum, coating you in white film. He spreads it around a little more, marking his territory. “Look at what a mess you are. Tsk. What am I going to do with you?” Eyes track your hand that moves down your body and how the fingers gather some of his cum. His eyes flicker up to yours as you give the camera an angelic smile. 

Blue eyes are trained on your movements, seeing what you’ll do next. What he didn’t expect was for you to wrap your lips around those fingers and hum at the taste. Once the fingers leave your mouth you have him letting out a moan himself. “I’m sorry. I can still be your good girl right?” His moan is involuntary, slipping out before he can fully process your words.

Gathering his cum himself he brings it back to your lips, watching as your tongue licks it up before your lips wrap around his fingers. “Yeah baby you can be my good girl.” As if the fog that clogged his brain cleared his head he realized what happened. He went completely off target and he doesn’t really care. 

Carefully he moves around and turns off the camera, getting up to find something to clean you with. The gentleness is a stark contrast to how he acted with you earlier. Not that you are complaining, it’s nice to think he cares even though he doesn’t know you. Flipping your skirt back down you get up and look at Liz. Her eyes are somewhat wide, looking between the two of you. 

“That.” The voice was squeaky, Micky clears his throat to fix it. “That was wow. Umm great job guys. I’ll take the camera and the two of you are all set.” The three of them leave and it’s just the two of you once again. “Still think I shouldn’t be here?” Rafe’s turns to you at the sound of your voice. “Never said I didn’t.”

You hum at him as you grab your bag. “Didn’t need to. Your question and body language said it all.” Maybe he was actually wrong about you, maybe that good girl act is just an act. He watches as you walk out of the room, blowing him a kiss over your shoulder.

That night when he’s trying to go to bed all he can think about was you.​ The way you looked, smelt, smiled, fuck the way your mouth felt around him. Every painful image flickered through his head like an old film. You were just plastered on the big screen, his very own porno right before his eyes once again. Before he knows it, his hand makes it’s way into his loose sleep pants. He’s hard as a rock just by thinking back to earlier. His orgasm was embarrassingly quick, a new world record honestly.

It didn’t get any better in his sleep. Every dream was about taking you in different positions and shutting your smart mouth up. When he woke up in the morning he was was painfully hard, precum seeping from the tip. He had to get himself off twice just to feel normal again. It still didn’t stop you from infiltrating his mind, plaguing all of his thoughts.

By the time it hit afternoon, he was ready to drive right into a wall to stop the thoughts. Not once has anyone made him such a mess. He’s literally slept with hundreds of girl, what makes you different? He’s seen them all, the really good girls to brats that need to be tammed, yet you are the one who does him in.

He’s honestly thankful that it was just that you two didn’t actually have to sleep together. The thought of that alone is enough to want to make him quit, he would never be the same again after that. But that’s not who he is, he’s Rafe Cameron. Girls are the one’s wo fawn over him and get obsessed not the other way around.

It has been five days since the shoot. He wonders if you are thinking about it as much as he is. If you touch yourself at the thought of him like he’s been doing. It’s a shock he even cares if you are or not. It shouldn’t even matter to him. In the middle of his pity party, his phone vibrates on the couch cushion next to him. He sighs when he sees it’s Jared. Great another casting. “Hello?” 

“Dude you need to get down here as fast as you can.” Jared’s voice isn’t one of anger but more of excitement. “Why?” Rafe feels like this is a trick to get him to go do another casting. He doesn’t have any shoots lined up for a bit since he decided to take a little vacation. They were lucky he even went in last time. “Do you always have to argue with me? Just get down here.”

Reluctantly he gets up and fishes his keys off the hook by the door. The whole ride many scenarios are playing out. One is of him going in and finding out it actually was another casting. Two you reported him for not following the “script” they gave you. Three they decided he isn’t worth dealing with anymore. Every scenario seems worse then the last.

Walking into Jared’s office he’s greeted with the sight of Liz and you. His eyes widen when he sees you look over your shoulder at him. There’s a little smirk that is rubbing him in the wrong way. Ironic considering you seemed good at it the other day. “What’s all of this?” He takes a sear on the chair next to you.

“The two of you are a hit. I mean the number are crazy and it just released.” Did he just hear what he thinks he did? Next to him you are internally freaking out. Just how many people actually saw it? “What?” You both say in unison. Liz sits down on the edge of the desk closer to you. “Sweetie we have a deal for you. We want to sign you on and start you on your first project.” 

You sit up and lean closer to her. “Wait really?” The excitement in your voice is noticeable from a mile away. Rafe stares in confusion. “What does this have to do with me?” Liz and Jared give each other a look. “Well we also have an offer for you.” Jared starts off. “For fucks sake. We want the two of you on this project together. Everyone loved seeingf the of you and it would be a lot of money.” 

“No way.” The words fly out faster than he means it. Your shoot him a death glare. Who does he think he is? “I agree I don’t want to work with some dick.” He slowly turns his head to look at you. “At least I belong here. You probably wouldn’t even last long.” He doesn’t like the smile you are giving him right now. “You would know all about that wouldn’t you? I got you off pretty quick last time and you didn’t even fuck me.” 

The clench of his jaw wasn’t hard to miss. It’s honestly such a shame his personality is awful. The man is attractive but the personality makes it hard to like him. After you got home from the shoot you went straight to the companies website and searched him up. Thousands of videos popped up and each one was screaming for you to watch. You aren’t ashamed to admit that you got off to them a couple of times.

But you are ashamed that you actually want to fuck him. You blame his looks, he’s too hot. This is like all of your fantasies coming to life. “Rafe can you stop being a dick for once. This is going to be huge, think of the money.” He actually stops to think about it, if they are right then he can’t pass it up. “Fine.”

All eyes are on you know, waiting for you to cave in. IF you’re beig honest you only said no because he turned it down automatically. It stung that he didn’t want to work with you. “Okay.” The two managers relax knowing that you both agreed. They whip out the contracts and hand them to you along with a pen. RIght before you could sign Liz says one last thing. “Oh yeah, you also have to live together for this. Now you can sign.”

“WHAT?”

[passivenovember]

thinking about the first time Billy has cherry pie and the lengths he'll travel to have it again.

--

Fresh Cherries (part one)

--

Because it's December, Neil makes concessions.

Billy isn't allowed to do whatever he wants, never that, but his leash isn't vice-like. There's some give as he tests his boundaries when there's snow on the ground. Billy isn't sure why, but he isn't about to ruin a good thing.

But. Steve calls on a Wednesday night and says, "Come over."

Billy has to chew and swallow the automated response he's used to giving. It's a school night, Neil'd kill me, and feels like he just got dusted with sugar and put in the oven. Says, "Sure. Let me ask my dad."

"Just sneak out," Steve tells him.

Billy checks the alarm clock on his bedside table. "It's seven thirty."

"So?"

"So, it's not sneaking out hours."

"You're such a stick in the mud," Steve says.

"I'm not, I just--" don't feel like getting my teeth knocked in. Billy picks at the threads in his duvet cover. Counts to three. "I want to be a good influence on you, Harrington."

Steve squaks. Some bright, quaffed bird. "I'm a year older than you!"

"Only 'cause you got held back in the third grade," Billy says. He flops over onto his belly, bringing the phone with him as he tries not to get wrapped up in the chord when Steve laughs.

"This is what I get for telling you all my deepest darkest shit," Steve rustles on the other end of the line and Billy imagines him in bed, or laying on the couch. Maybe flat on the carpet, near the fireplace, shirtless and eating chocolate covered strawberries--

"C'mon," Steve says gently, "Be a bad influence, come hang out with me."

"My dad--"

"Just sneak out, Malibu."

Billy grunts, not wanting to tell the truth, kind of into how Steve's growing more and more whiny as the scene presses on. "I dunno."

"C'mon, it's not hard. I sneak out all the time. Out of my house and into my car and in through your window--"

"--That's different. Your parents don't give a shit where you are."

"You're right. Who cares, though? I'd still sneak out to see you even if they had a bell permanently installed around my neck."

Billy's heart feels like raw cookie dough, sticking to the ribs around him as he bakes and proves under some bright, shining, plastic feeling. "Are they home this week?"

"Nope," Steve says, and the P explodes over the phone line. Wipes out half the city in his excitement. "Mom bought a ton of shit to get me through 'till the twenty-eighth, so we can--"

"You're spending Christmas alone?"

"I always spend Christmas alone," Steve says. Quiet sits heavy, like a filed of snow, between them. Stretching out in every direction. "It's not a big deal. We celebrate Christmas in November."

"With Thanksgiving?"

"Nah, right at the start of November."

"Alongside Halloween?" Billy spats, sitting upright on the mattress. It jostles underneath him. He feels like a raft lost in some huge, freezing, disorienting sea.

He tries to get his barring's, tries to sink his heel into Steve's answering laugh but its hollow like a dead tree, "One year Santa was my dad, dressed as the Cowardly Lion." Steve says.

Billy tries to imagine it. He puts the hard, chilled seed of Steve's childhood near his molars and chews on it for a while, trying to envision the light refracted from all the ways childhood has to bend and contort to suit a kid's parents.

"I never believed in Santa," He says. An offering. Sadness for sadness, or something, like I see you.

Steve hums, and that horrible field of ice and snow between them melts, just like it always does. "Come over," He says, not as hollow as before. Blooming.

Billy puts his shoes on.

--

The Harringtons live in some demented alternate reality where Christmas in December is all for show. Their house has been decorated since the last time Billy was here in Saturday.

He knocks and stares down at Santa, the looming silver-screen image from his childhood, dressed in a floral button down, board shorts and flip flops. Somehow feels colder. When Steve opens the door, he points at it.

"My mom's theme this year is Blue Hawaii." Steve says.

Billy stumbles over the threshold, teeth chattering to shards in his skull. "That's not a Christmas Movie."

"Yeah, but it turns out, Santa can be anything. He's kinda like a chameleon."

"Santa isn't Elvis."

"He could be," Steve says.

Billy shrugs out of his jacket, handing it off, like always. Steve holds it close to his chest, watching with amusement as Billy takes in the foyer. Toes out of his snow-covered boots. "It's like a tiki bar made of pine trees instead of sweet grass."

Steve nods, still clutching the jacket.

His eyes are red.

Billy squints at him, padding closer. "Are you high?"

Steve giggles, bright like a fresh log in the fire.

Billy scrubs a hand across his face, trying to hide the way it makes him go up in Steve's flame. "You're such a dork."

"What? I thought we could--"

"I only have a few hours," Billy tells him gently, trying not to get lost in the sleepy, apple-red flush across Steve's perfect nose. "My dad'll--"

"Just tell him I'm left on my own for Christmas. Maybe he'll feel sorry for me and let you stay the night."

"How do you think I got him to agree to an 11:30 curfew?"

Steve blinks at him and then explodes into glowing, glaring joy. "Are you shitting me?"

"Nope, I'm all yours 'till 11:30."

Steve flushes again, clutching Billy's jacket closer to his chest. "But it's a school night--"

"Guess my old man took pitty on you. Such a lonely boy in his Elvis-themed mansion on the hill, it's kinda pathetic," Billy says, "In a cute way."

"It's not Elvis," Steve says, still grinning, "It's Blue Hawaii."

"Still cute," Billy shrugs, feeling hot all over. Feeling proud of himself. He nearly combusts when Steve moves into his space, eyes nearly going cross to focus on the bridge of Steve's nose.

Billy holds his breath.

He waits for Steve to say something, feeling that huge filed stretch out between them, but it's not snow-covered now.

It's thawing. It's burning up.

Steve wets his lips.

"Uh," Billy says intelligently, looking down when the sleeve of his jacket tugs at him, still viced in Steve's hold. "You can put that in the closet," Billy tells him, caught on the strech of skin over Steve's knuckles. "If you want."

"I don't," Steve tells him.

Billy looks up, eyes crossing again.

Steve winks. "You're warm," He says but Billy feels it, more than anything else.

--

The smell of marijuana and pine is overwhelming, searing through the air after the first shared joint.

Billy rolls his neck and asks if they can crack a window. Steve blinks at him, sealing the second joint with spit. "You trying to get caught, or something?"

"Caught?" Billy asks, trying to force his shoulders to relax. "But. I thought--"

"--The neighbors are nosy 'round these parts." Steve says. He tucks his rolling tray under the coffee table, and Billy watches with droopy red eyes the way his lips close around the butt of the thing.

Steve's lips are perfect.

If Billy was an artist he'd fill sketchbooks with watercolor renditions of that cupid's bow. His fingers would permanently stain with lapping waves of purple-pink, etching the warmth of breath into his nail beds so that the faucet would never run clear of this boy.

He could get lost in those lips. That hair--

Steve hands him the joint and Billy takes it, focusing on the cherry so he won't get lost in Steve's eyes, too, because he's looking. Always.

Billy tries not to drown in it and fails when Steve says, "Y'know. Your eyes are kinda like Blue Hawaii."

"Again with Elvis?" Billy rolls them, handing the joint back. "You're the one who stole his wig."

"My hair is not a wig, fuck you."

"Coulda fooled me."

Steve holds smoke in his lungs, exhaling it toward the popcorn ceiling as he says, "Your eyes are blue."

Billy snorts, laying with his back on the carpet.

"They're the bluest things I've ever seen," Steve says, ashing the joint. "And I've tried to find something bluer. Around town. I even went to the library to look for something in an atlas when Indiana disappointed me, like maybe the ocean is bluer and clearer in the Caribbean, or something, but no."

Billy's heart thumps, nailing his ribs to the floor underneath.

He counts the joints in the popcorn overhead. He feels Steve looking at him, feels himself burning from the inside.

"You're just the most detailed asshole who's ever lived," Steve says, softly.

Billy could sink into it. "Thanks."

Silence falls, again. It's comfortable. Billy stretches, a little bit, twisting until his spine cracks, until he feels like he could pass out from how relaxed he is.

Steve hands him the joint.

Billy shakes his head.

"Why not?" Steve asks.

"I'm laying down," Billy tells the ceiling, "I feel like if I smoke anymore my lungs will give out, or maybe I'll float through the ceiling and disappear."

Steve exhales more smoke. "And right before Christmas, too."

Billy sits crisscross on the carpet, watching Steve puff, inhale, puff, inhale. "You're really not stressed about being home by yourself for six days?"

Steve shakes his head.

"Why not?"

"I like having the house to myself," Steve tells him, "Besides, I feel like if I have to spend any more time with my parents this year I'm going to sink right through the floor." Teasing. An echo of Billy's childhood fear of ascending into the ozone.

Billy pokes him with his foot, flushed.

Steve finishes the joint and slides closer. Their knees touch. "What kind of Christmases did you have when you were growing up?"

Billy shrugs. "I'm sill growing up."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, just. I dunno," Billy gets lost in Steve's eyes, a little. Classic beauty. "It was the Coca-Cola Santa kind?"

Steve laughs at him, and then his palms are warm on Billy's knee caps. "The kind with Bing Crosby and miniature towns on the dining room table?"

Billy's mom loved to collect those goddamn things. Neil smashed them all when she ran away and killed herself.

He nods, relishing the weight of Steve's fingertips.

Steve fiddles with the hole in Billy's jeans. "What kind of food did you have?"

"Pizza," Billy says.

Steve blinks at him, lost. "That's not very Coca-Cola of the Hargrove's."

"My mom didn't like to cook."

"Funny," Steve says, combing through the tussle of hair on Billy's kneecap, "Mine doesn't either."

Billy aches to knit their fingers together until they meld, forming the kind of sweater you dig out from the back of your closet year after year, echoing on the stiff frigid breeze until it's tattered and falling apart.

Steve looks at him, smiling. "Do you want some pie?"

--

Steve guts and skins the freezer until it's empty. A carcass picked clean.

Mrs. Harrington must have spent her entire bonus at Melvalds on Christmas dinner, enough to feed four Steve Harrington's and all the people who are desperately in love with him.

Billy tries not to think about them and watches from the counter face, his sock feet thumping gently against the cabinet as Steve pulls dish after dish from a cloud of white exhaust, plopping containers onto the island. "Green bean casserole," Steve says, "Pumpkin pie, pecan, apple, blueberry--"

"--You're supposed to eat all of this?"

"You're gonna help me."

"I don't like green bean casserole," Billy says, yelping when Steve feigns death and collapses into the counter. "Jesus Christ--"

"I'm midwestern, that's a cardinal sin to me."

"Dope makes you dramatic, pretty boy."

"You hate midwestern people."

"Yeah," Billy says, giggling.

"You hate me."

"Shut up," Billy slips off the counter and onto his feet, examining every frozen item while Steve repacks.

"Which pie sounds good?"

"I dunno," Billy says, eyeing the blueberry with suspicion, "Don't we have to wait for them to thaw before we throw them in the oven?"

"I don't think so," Steve says, "I've already tried the cherry and that baked fine."

"I've never had it before."

Steve blinks at him, shocked. "How have you never had cherry pie?"

"My dad doesn't like cherries," Billy admits.

"Just because your dad doesn't like cherries--"

"--Look, my mom wasn't on great terms with the oven, and nobody else is going to waste time cooking shit my dad won't eat," Billy snaps. Feeling red-hot all of a sudden. Angry in a way he hasn't been in a long time for being reminded that other people's dads are shitty in the normal way.

Not like Neil.

Steve either doesn't notice or chooses not to take it personally.

He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a half-eaten cherry pie, picking at its cling-wrap until Billy can see the cherries where the glitter between layers of perfectly brown crust. Bloody little eyes staring up at him like dead fish.

"You can have the rest."

"The rest?" Billy demands, "But what if I don't like it?"

"Not possible," Steve tells him. He opens the microwave and attempts to shove the pie tray in, yelping when Billy snatches it out of thin air. "What--"

"--Aluminum will catch fire in the microwave." Billy snaps. He tries to find it annoying, but Steve just blinks those big, soft eyes at him and the anger washes away. "Get me a plate, bambi boy," He says.

Steve watches Billy plate the pie, giggling as his nose wrinkles in disgust over its dripping red innards. "This is so gross," Billy says.

"You won't think so, once you try it."

Billy walks it to the microwave, carefully pinching the edges of the plate between his palms. "I can't think of a single other instance where that has been true."

He turns the dial. Forty seconds.

Steve's watching him, face illuminated in the golden hum of the microwave.

"What?" Billy demands.

"Nothing," Steve says, leaning against the counter top, "I just can't believe I'm gonna be here when your life is changed forever."

Billy snorts, stalking to the drawer where the Harringtons keep their silver. "Still dramatic, pretty boy."

"Why do you always say that?" Steve wonders.

Billy freezes in place. Two forks in hand. He peers across the island at Steve, heart thrumming loudly. "Why do I always say what?"

"Pretty boy," Steve clarifies.

It hangs between them. The microwave hums, the longest forty seconds of Billy's life. "I," He says intelligently, "It's just. True."

"What is?"

"You're. Pretty," Billy says. And it's like having teeth pulled.

The microwave beeps.

Steve turns away, yanking the pie from its incubation, "Shit," He says, wiggling his fingers. "Plate's hot as hell."

Billy stands there watching him. Breathing. Dying.

Steve looks at him. "Well, do you wanna try it?" Billy nods. Doesn't move. Steve laughs at him. "Come here."

Billy goes easily, like a lap dog being called to perch. He and his forks stare down at the pie with caution, stomach churning at the congealed mess before him.

Steve grabs one of the forks from Billy and cuts the point off, blowing on it until its warm enough to eat. Steve pops it into his mouth, brown eyes falling closed. "Mmmm," He says, like someone would with a spooked and disgusted baby, "It's good."

Billy shakes his head.

"You're so dramatic," Steve says, cutting another huge chunk for Billy. He holds it in the air between them, eyebrows raised. "Trust me."

Billy stares at it. "Why's mine so big?"

"I want you to get the full range of flavor."

"But--"

Steve shoves the fork into Billy's mouth, swiftly depositing the little cherry eyeballs onto Billy's tongue. He coughs and sputters, lips curling around the fork as Steve yanks it away. "Chew," Steve says.

Billy does.

Like it's the first time he's ever done it, clumsy and a little rushed and very, very distracted by the way Steve's watching him.

"Swallow," Steve says softly, barely there.

Billy does. There's something on his face. On his lips.

"What do you think?" Steve asks, staring at them.

Billy resists the urge to lick it away, "Sucked," He says, expecting Steve to laugh, but.

Something rests between them, not growing or stretching or changing shape, but it's there. It suffocates.

Steve looks at him, somehow closer than he was before. "Sorry, pretty boy," He says.

Billy's heart stops. "Why would you say that?"

"It's true. You're pretty," Steve says, watching the red on Billy's lips burn brighter. "You've got a little something on your face." Billy lifts a hand, mouth falling open when Steve grabs his wrist. "Can I," Steve says, soft as summer rain, "Can I kiss you, Billy?"

Billy doesn't move as Steve licks into his mouth, Cherry washing away under the rough, sweet drag of intention.

--

THIS IS PART ONE!!!! OF A TWO-PARTER!

Please let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I get around to part two <3

[aetheve]

HI… my fav chr. Is malleus/idia or social rejects ykyk⁉️ my fav teachers r that pe teacher with a butt chin ⁉️ very funny and I’m biased since I love pe. And crowley bc he’s funny and reminds me of my dad

MY RICE PURITY TEST IS 87… anyways my appealing shit is. Well rounded⁉️ I adapt and learn easily, I’m pretty with pretty clothes and I’m good at anything I try to put effort into 💪💪⁉️ I’m a very. Yeah yk what kinda texter I am LFMAOSO..

def and extrovert, cat lover b allergic 😭😭 personally it’s a tie and my fav song. Is choke⁉️ by idk how but they found me and uh uh I lead most the time and you already know most abt me‼️‼️ okay am I ur first matchup pls say yes

—- 🪞 WELCOME TO POMEFIORE! a dorm based on the fairest queen's spirit of tenacity. twisted from snow white and the seven dwarfs.

vil tries to get you to follow his suggested face routine and you don’t listen, purely out of spite. you give him migraines at the fact you stay up very late to party with scarabia, but no one can stop you. “you’re a bad influence for epel.” - vil 24/7.

at some point vil got you a leash. he’d prefer if you four would walk into the school like the single ladies from beyoncé’s ‘single ladies’ but you keep running off to try and jumpscare lilia.

you started an unspoken rivalry between vil and riddle, to elaborate riddle often pounds on the door of pomefiore yelling “GET THEM UNDER CONTROL, YOU PLASTIC EXCUSE OF A HOUSE WARDEN!” to which vil almost goes on an rampage.

your bestfriends are cater and lilia! majority of the time you three are cyber bullying someone that ticks you off irl or beating the living shit out of a savanaclaw clown. riddle absolutely despises you three and malleus.. well the old man just doesn’t get it.

“why did i agree to this?” idia mumbled, into his phone while you and epel followed the last few of his instructions.

“and done! mirror mirror on the wall, whose the the fairest of them all?" you asked the mirror with the most mocking impression of vil you could do.

"my lady's beauty is fair and true, but nine is far fairer than you." escaped the fake screen you put in the frame. you were to prank vil with this, surely it'd give him a scare.

"but if vil asks"

"then you weren't involved! okay? thank you for your help, good day!" epel cut him off and hung up, "do you think he'll fall for it?"

you shrugged from your hiding place, peeking through the hole. "vil has anger issues not let that pimpleless face fool you. he'll be too blinded by anger to realize anything is off."

"okay, tell me what happens." epel whispered as the door opened, revealing the house warden himself. there was silence for a long while, a couple of curses from vil when he messes up his makeup in the slightest.

"hm," he hummed when his look was complete. "mirror mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all?" you shook epel's shoulders in excitement to see that over confident smirk be wiped off of his face.

"my lady's beauty is fair and true, but nine is far fairer than you." the mirror repeated. there was no sound from any one, you could hear a pin drop.

"p-pardon?" now you were trying not to let out any sound, but the look on his face the replaced the confidence was horrifying.

"you will not believe what this bitch wrote on the whiteboard. that savanaclaw fuck." you shook your head distastefully, showing your friends two images. one of the kid that had the audacity and a picture with words of mockery the history black board.

"oh, what a bummer." lilia sighed pushing a series of buttons on his phone.

"isn't that the cat we received a lot of dirt on last week?" cater laughed, looking through his phone as well.

"mhmm... just to clarify we're gonna embarrass him out of existence, correct?" you sat down in front of your friends.

"it's what we do best..." lilia nodded towards your phone, seconds before the notifications went crazy.

"oh?" you laughed reading through the thread of embarrassing shit about him, not just from your friends. to explain further, you three were well known for scaring the life out of people online, no one really knew of your irl identities but that didn't matter. those that knew, knew and use that knowledge to their advantage.

"oh, would you look at that? nine, i found his number!" cater sang, excitedly, sending him a not so delightful message.

dorm assignments!

[snuggetfish]

I firmly believe that Nishida and Minami had to babyssit Majima's daughter at least once when he and his wife had a night out. Two of them cuz Majima's offspring is a little mischievous shit (just like her dad) and probably runs away on an epic quest to find her parents and explore Kamurocho at night. Probably the three of them were just this close from being caught by the Majimas and returned home at the last second only to pretend that they were playing Mahjong all this time. Even if little Miss Majima doesn't know how to play Mahjong to the point of just showing her tiles and saying "blackjack". Also parents would question why the child isn't sleeping at this hour?

Anon that's quite the hilarious scenario 😂 Believable too, because let's face it there ain't just one kid in that terrible trio - Minami counts as a mischievous brat too.

I feel like a part of Majima already knows how things are likely to play out even before he leaves the guys in charge of his daughter. It's either gonna end in a grand adventure or some really cranky babysitters with an equally cranky girl destructively taking out her boredom on them. But even knowing all that, he doesn't make a fuss. With all his overprotectiveness, I think he figures that given her wild kind of temperament (same one he had as a kid, I bet), it's good if she lets loose every once in a while. If he can't count on Minami, he for sure can count on Nishida to make sure she only gets into a moderate, strictly controlled amount of trouble. And that Nishida would call him asap if things were to go south.

So really, I feel the most for Nishida here. By the end of the evening he's probably gonna wish he'd brought a couple of leashes 😂

We haven't established an age for Majima's daughter, but I imagine she'd be maybe 5-6, old enough to more or less clearly communicate her wishes (or orders, more like), but still easily distracted and lacking a good grasp on the meaning of certain things. Like what a "night out" really is. I.e:

"Your parents went out to eat a special dinner." -> kid brain -> They went to Smile Burger for a Happy Meal? Without me??

She'd probably feel more than a little betrayed at first, but hey she eventually gets a Happy Meal out of it as it becomes the first stop in their adventure. 🍔

And as the night wears on... well the boys try to keep her busy with the games at the arcade, emphasis on the "try". But she's just freakishly good at them. Beats Minami every time... and there's only so much fun to be had when there's no challenge.

So eventually she'll want to move on to something more high stakes. I have to say I first read the Mahjong bit of your ask as "the three of them were playing Mahjong... in the actual gambling den in Kamurocho" and that image kinda stuck with me ghkhj.

Maybe we can turn it into a Haruka's requests kinda thing, where even if she's not allowed to participate in the games herself, she's backseat gaming, coaching Minami's moves and sounding very disappointed whenever he loses of course.

Why would a little girl who's got loving, rich parents and everything she could possibly wish for want to win big cash at koi-koi, you ask? Well the cards are pretty, for one... and maybe mom or dad's birthdays are coming up too 😌

Either way when the couple returns to find the little one exhausted and dozing off in Nishida's lap... it's pretty clear that whatever they were up to, it must've been a lot of fun! 💙

[bluerose5]

First Impressions (Part 1)

Word Count: 1,726

Rated T (Warnings for Swearing, Canon-Typical Violence)

Summary: What if, after receiving that call from Garrus while he was pinned down on Omega, Castis tries to track him down?

"Are you sure it was him?"

"I'm sure." Alec's smile turned mocking, the vitriol directed more towards himself. "I'm no Shadow Broker, but I still have my list of contacts here on the Citadel, even if it's dwindling by the seconds."

"Alec—"

"I don't need your pity, Castis." His smile fell, a subtle frown curling at the edges of his lips. "Besides, I'm doing this as a favor for a friend. Father to father. You know how it is."

"Yeah," Castis Vakarian sighed, "so I do."

It had been quite some time since the elder Vakarian graced the Citadel with his presence, but ever since he received that call...

"You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come on home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out."

Even now, the echoes of gunfire rang in his ears, but not as much as the resignation in Garrus’s voice.

"Target practice," Garrus had called it.

As if an experienced C-Sec officer with common sense couldn't tell the difference between target practice and an all-out gunfight.

Even now, Castis's chest tightened.

The thought of losing Garrus now, especially when his mother's condition wasn't showing any signs of improvement—

Castis couldn't stand the thought. He couldn't lose both his wife and his son all at once.

When Garrus never reported back, he had to do something. After he spoke with some old friends on the Citadel, Alec Ryder put out some feelers of his own at his friend's request. For a while, there was nothing.

Then, they got a hit.

The Normandy SR-2, arriving to the Citadel from Omega. A ship flagged by Citadel Control's security algorithms for having alleged ties to the pro-human extremist group known only as Cerberus.

It was under the command of no other than Commander Shepard.

Why was Castis not surprised?

Between his and Alec's contacts, they had been able to discern that there were indeed aliens listed as part of the ship’s crew. A surprising move, given the organization's history, but Castis was far from calling them friends. Just because they expanded recruitment beyond their own species did not make them allies.

Add in a Spectre miraculously back from the dead, and the whole situation reeked of trouble.

Alec agreed, so they approached the matter with caution.

Thankfully, Solana understood when Castis had to drop everything and go. All that she asked was that he return home with the knowledge that Garrus was safe. That's it.

Of course, that wasn't enough to satisfy him.

Castis knew that Garrus was alive now, but that wasn't enough.

The next time he and Alec were pinged, they received intel stating that Garrus was spotted poking around the shipping sector of Zakera Ward with Commander Shepard, seeking out a notorious forger. For what? Spirits only knew.

The only other info that they had was that there was a drell and a quarian accompanying them as well.

While they awaited positive IDs on those two, they continued following Garrus’s trail, questioning the loose-lipped volus who was more than happy to give up Fade's position after his lousy bodyguards wandered off for a break.

Eventually, they were led to Harkin's position. It wasn't exactly hard to figure out that Garrus had already been there, what with the trail of bodies and mechs they left in their wake.

Seeing Harkin curled up on the floor, the bastard took one look up at them, then swore under his breath.

"Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me," he spat. "First your son, and now you? Haven't you Vakarians done enough?"

"Heh," Alec chuckled. "We're just getting started, tough guy."

Tapping at his omni-tool, Castis sent out an alert. While he dealt with Harkin, Alec approached the open console nearby, downloading all of its content, including the most recent call to a client.

"Have fun explaining yourself to C-Sec, Harkin, or is it Fade now?" Castis paused, crossing his arms over his chest as he peered down at him. "You can't resist making a fool of yourself for even a second, can you?"

"Hot take, coming from you." Harkin sneered. "You can't even keep that hot-headed son of yours on a leash. Bet C-Sec was glad to finally have his insubordinate ass off the force."

Castis saw red.

He took a step forward, but Alec's hand came down onto his shoulder, stopping him in his path.

"He's not worth it," Alec reminded him gently. As C-Sec swarmed the area, Alec jerked his chin in the direction of the door. "Come on. Let’s go find him before it's too late."

They strolled out together, heads ducked close and voices kept low.

"Did you find anything?" Castis asked.

"More than enough," Alec assured him. "Garrus is looking for a turian by the name of Lantar Sidonis."

"Can't say I've heard of him."

"Hmm..." Alec hummed thoughtfully to himself. "There was a location sent to set up a meeting. Orbital Lounge."

"Good work," Castis said, but Alec shrugged off the praise. "Let's go."

They stopped to make a quick change in a clothing store along the way. They got dressed in casual attire, posing as a couple of friends enjoying the sights.

By the time they made it to the lounge, Castis was already getting antsy. He struggled to maintain his cover, his eyes darting this way and that.

Alec elbowed him in the side.

"Calm down," he warned. He turned towards a random window display to glance over the selection of model ships. "Maintenance walkway above. Over your shoulder and to the right."

Castis snuck a peek as soon as he had the chance to.

He felt all of the blood drain from his face.

Turning quickly back towards the display, he hissed under his breath, "He has a rifle."

Alec shushed him before they could attract too much attention.

"I know, but do we really want to announce that little fact to the entire plaza?!" he whispered frantically.

Right.

Taking a deep breath, Castis composed himself. Usually, he wasn't this bad at remaining undercover, but the stakes were too high —too personal— to ignore.

It was hard to remain calm when your son was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

Killing in a public place...

What happened to make him fall so far?

"I spotted someone up there with him," Alec said, breaking Castis of his reverie. "Shepard, maybe?"

Looking around at the crowd, Castis shook his head a moment later.

"No, not Shepard. Look. To your left."

Alec followed his line of sight, then ducked his head back down.

"Her, the quarian, and I'm assuming that's Sidonis," Alec said, counting them off one by one. "Which means that might be the drell up top with Garrus. A lookout, perhaps?"

"Hmph."

That was when Castis noticed the spotting laser.

His pupils narrowed into thin slits.

"No."

Alec stopped him again, stepping out in front of him with his hands spread wide.

"Wait, wait, wait," he ordered. "Let's see how this plays out first."

Castis turned on him with a glare.

"My son is about to commit a murder in plain sight, and you want me to wait?" he snapped.

"I want you to think clearly," Alec corrected. "Take another look at who the spotting laser is trained on."

Staring him down, Castis huffed impatiently, but quickly complied. They couldn’t afford to be stuck at an impasse at such a crucial moment.

One look was enough to clear up the image that had been blurred by emotion.

What in the—

"No." Castis shook his head in disbelief, but that didn't change what he was witnessing. "No, Garrus is too fond of the Commander. He wouldn't hurt her."

The conviction with which he spoke surprised even himself, but Garrus's attachment to Shepard was undeniable, as much as he was loath to admit it.

Even then, he couldn’t deny what was right there in front of him. The spotting laser was focused on the back of Commander Shepard’s skull, clear as day.

However, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

When Sidonis moved, Garrus followed him, but the Commander was instantly there to block his opening.

There were a few tense moments where words were exchanged, far too quiet to hear from where Alec and Castis were positioned. They went back and forth for a bit, and Castis admittedly feared for the worst when both Shepard and Sidonis started to leave.

The second Garrus had a clear shot at Sidonis, Castis held his breath.

But the shot never came.

"Well," Alec muttered, "that was anticlimactic."

Castis glared and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"That's my son, Ryder."

With a grumble, Castis dragged Alec along. Their hunt wasn't over yet.

"You should meet mine. I feel like if Scott would've let him go, then he would have somehow managed to pull the trigger by accident. A real stroke of bad luck, that one."

"Spirits."

Strolling through the crowds, they laid low for as long as they could.

By the time they found Garrus again, he was talking with the others by a skycar terminal, presumably waiting on a cab.

A whole flood of emotions came crashing down on Castis at once, and there was no holding back. Not anymore.

Ignoring Alec's warnings not to do anything rash, Castis stormed off in their direction.

Insane how, after so many years of being friends, the N7 was only choosing now to try to be the voice of reason when Castis wanted to be anything but.

Out of everyone, the drell noticed him first, regarding him with suspicion.

Before he could warn him, Castis called out, "Garrus!"

The other three instantly froze, right before they turned to face him.

Garrus’s eyes widened, his mandibles falling slack as he gaped.

"Dad?"

"'Dad?!'" Shepard and the quarian echoed, shocked by such an unexpected turn of events.

The drell, on the other hand, didn't seem the least bit perturbed.

"Ah, his father," he hummed, nodding in understanding. "Your presence in the lounge makes sense now."

Alec's brow furrowed.

"Hold up, you knew we were there?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call you two 'subtle.'"

"That doesn't matter!" Castis snapped.

Clenching his jaw, his mandibles were clamped down tight.

Time to get this meeting back on track.

"Garrus, we need to talk."

[hargrove-mayfields]

Harringrove April Day 30- Lily of the valley

There are very few things Billy actually remembers about his mother.

That can be pretty hard for him to swallow at times, the fact that he lost so much of his childhood to trauma, his mind blocking out even the good memories because of his father.

He still remembers the way she smelled when she held him, but he didn’t know the name of the scent she wore, and he remembers the sound of her voice, though he had long ago come to terms with the fact that he’d never hear it again, but the one thing he remembers so clearly about his mother is the lily of the valley tattoo on her forearm.

Neil had hated it from the day she got it, always making her cover it up with bracelets and long sleeves and makeup, but as a kid, Billy was fascinated by it. He would trace over it with his little fingers, the tiny flowers tattooed dark on his mother’s arm, connecting the dots between moles and freckles and petals.

One thing he doesn’t quite remember though, is the way she had cried when he asked if this mark hurt when he touched it like the ones his daddy left on her.

Neil seem to remember it just as well, deliberately mowing over valley lilies when they sprouted or spraying them with weed killer, so one day Billy decides, fuck it, he’s tired of seeing the one thing that truly reminds him of his mother get destroyed.

On his eighteenth birthday, Billy gets the same tattoo.

His is on his shoulder instead, in his head he thought it would look a little tougher there, at least as tough as a flower tattoo his hippie mom used to sport could. Of course, Neil is just as angry with him as he was the first time when his girlfriend came home with the same thing, probably even more so now that it was his son.

The bandage is only off for like, a week before Neil’s punishment comes, which, Billy guesses he should be at least a little grateful that he waited for all the bleeding and peeling to be over before he kicked his ass.

His dad’s not the only one that has a problem with it though, the first time Billy shows up at work without it covered, Billy gets lots of comments and sneers behind his back, all sorts of people who don’t know him saying they thought he was soft, feminine, a huge fucking pansy.

He didn’t think he should have to justify it to them, he lost his mother, he’s damn well allowed to get something on his body to commemorate her if he pleases, but it’s hard not to get a little defensive about it. He almost regrets it, not thinking it through more before he got these delicate flowers emblazoned on his skin, but that’s very much an almost.

Because one night he stands in front of his mirror and traces over the stems, the delicate petals, connecting them to the light freckles around it, blood that soap wouldn't quite reach still dried under his fingernails from the number Neil did on him earlier, and he cries like a damn baby, but he lets go of all that other stuff.

He got it for her , for his momma wherever she was still waiting for him, maybe still looking for him even, not for all of those assholes, and not to prove anything about himself.

So he wears it with pride, he tears the damn sleeves off of his shirts and wears jeans instead of a jacket if it’s a cooler day, and the comments stop coming, because it’s not as fun to say shit that doesn’t get a reaction anymore.

But the rumors don’t stop, and everyone knows as they spread, they change, and suddenly instead of Billy Hargrove being a pussy bitch, the mills churning out nastier shit, like Billy Hargrove’s a faggot, and it’s not safe to have him at the public pool.

There’s a long battle between him and Heather and the managers, and the pool begrudgingly lets him stay, but it’s not without lots of rules. He’d almost rather quit, with how short a leash he’s kept on, but he needs that job if he doesn’t want kicked out.

That’s what he’s complaining about to Steve one day over a smoke, sitting in the back room of the Harrington’s with the sliding door cracked so the smoke could drift out, not that Mr. and Mrs. Harrington would be home anytime soon to notice it.

Steve’s the first person other than Neil to know it was for his momma, and the look he gives him, the sadness and concern in those big brown eyes, it’s enough to make him want to laser that damned tattoo off himself.

He’ll blame the weed for what he does next, lacing his fingers through Steve’s before he can start the pity party, but he hopes Steve doesn’t do the same when he makes the choice to lean over and kiss Billy, delicate fingers barely gracing the dark ink on his shoulder, the others getting lost in tangles of blond hair.

It helps him feel not so bad about the whole thing, getting that burden off his chest, and the kiss with Steve didn’t hurt either, but the next day it’s back to the same old thing at work.

After another week or so though, he notices the gossip has changed, and this time they’re saying Steve’s name instead of his. Steve Harrington’s the pansy faggot now, and Billy has to pretend until he can get out of that chair that he isn’t terrified for the both of them.

He goes straight to Steve’s house after work, tells him as soon as he finds him, “I swear I didn’t tell anybody , I don’t know how it got out.”

And Steve doesn’t look panicked at all, but rather he gives this little smug smile at Billy and says, “I do.” calmly enough that Billy can actually feel his heart shatter, even worse than it had when he woke to find his mother’s car missing.

Steve doesn’t let Billy stew in that heartbreak too long though before he clarifies, “I didn’t want you to have to deal with all that bullshit alone, so I got this.” He holds his wrist out, and shows Billy that he has his own tattoo now too; a sunflower in the same style as Billy’s, thick black outlines with no color.

“I figure, once the initial drama blows over, now that there’s two of us, they won’t be able to say as much.” Steve explains further, looking hopefully at Billy’s face

“Maybe. But until then, you could be in danger, and you’re going to be in even bigger trouble. Seriously, what’s John gonna say?” Billy scolds, panicking on Steve’s behalf whether or not it was necessary.

“And what did Neil say?” Steve argues back, but he knows that’s not productive, so he switches to trying to be comforting instead, “Look Billy, I wanted to do this. For you and for me.”

“It was stupid of you.” Billy says under his breath, taking up Steve’s pale wrist in both of his hands, gently brushing his thumb over the just healed barely healed tattoo, “Sunflowers were your aunts favorites too, weren’t they?”

“Mhm, and I don’t regret it, Billy. I love you too much.” Steve says, the first time he had ever said those three words.

Billy smiles and bends down, bringing his lips to that little monochrome image, and mumbles against soft skin, “Love you too, sunflower.”

[gamer-logic]

Since my state, Georgia, is having the annual Peaches to Beaches event which is two days of statewide yard sales, I thought it would be interesting to show how America, the states, and any other countries wanting to participate both 1p and 2p would be during this event. So here you go!

Georgia is happily selling fresh produce like boiled peanuts and Vidalia onions and peach-based deserts. Her homemade peach cobbler and ice cream are to die for!

Antonio (Spain) also sells many fresh tomatoes, olives, and other vegetables. He doesn't understand why no one wants his Olive Juice though.

Hawaii and Alaska make a killing selling lemonade at their stand with a free complimentary handmade flower crown with every purchase. While using their sheer cuteness to attract everyone including one of those sweet biker gangs. It's really surreal to see a huge gang of buff, tattooed, tough-looking guys in leather wearing flower crowns and drinking lemonade. Allen's also there to supervise and ward of creep. Also, to provide people more 'incentive' to buy their lemonade.

Texas breaks out the Texas BBQ and is in a Barbecuing turf war with Jett (Australia). They draw huge crowds for the five-alarm chili as well and hold a competition who can eat the most without burning out their tongues and/or passing out.

Florida sells some of the weirdest stuff you'll ever see. "Want a full-scale model of a gator made entirely out of bottle caps? Only ten bucks! Want a portrait of Florida Man painted with orange juice? 15 bucks!"

Nevada also tries to sell weird and sketchy stuff to scam everyone. "This piece is the genuine article folks! One napkin gently used by Elvis Presley himself! Just 500 bucks! Also, gets into a haggling war with Lars (Netherlands). Somewhere Alfred's dad instincts go off and he reminds himself to ground Nevada.

California, Oregon, and Washington collaborate and California sells anything vegan or made with avocadoes and the autographs of Hollywood stars, Oregon sells his old tye-dyed shirts and records, they also made him sell his old groovy hippy bus from the sixties he'd never got rid of no one knew they had. Oregon can be a bit of a hoarder, so they had to tie him to a chair and gag him because he wouldn't surrender the bus without a fight. Washington also tries to sell and drink cups of coffee, but in the hot Southern heat, this doesn't end well.

Louisiana sells anything Cajun-style from frog legs to fresh gumbo, to beignets. Also has a full collection of Mardi Gras masks and shrunken voodoo heads on sale for two bucks a pop.

Gilbert (Prussia) gets tricked by Nevada and gets a ton of stupid things he doesn't need. Ludwig (Germany) tries unsuccessfully to keep him on a metaphorical leash.

Ludwig always checks the quality of things he sees and buys dog toys and supplies for Blackie, Berlitz, and Astor. Later, he actually buys a kiddie leash for Gilbert.

All the while Lutz (2p! Germany) is asleep in a lawn chair with his hat on his face after drinking like six cold beers from this really good booth. All the while, Klaus (2p! Prussia) finds an antique Teutonic Knights flag from a vendor whose family was from Germany.

Vash (Switzerland) buys antique guns from Alabama and Roderich (Austria) also checks out some of Tennessee's guitars. He's horrified upon seeing Alabama's banjo and washboard.

Mathew (Canada) and Emma (Belgium) combine their powers and tag team to sell the best pancakes and waffles on earth with genuine Canadian maple syrup.

New York sells tons of baseball memorabilia and collectibles. Allen, trying to save his bad-boy image, tries to be discreet when buying some while taking Hawaii and Alaska around to get something with their lemonade money. James also gets some hockey memorabilia with Michigan and Minnesota who also got snow cones.

Alaska and Hawaii see a giant deluxe dollhouse but are almost in tears when they don't have enough money. But they end up getting it for free because no one can resist their weaponized puppy dog eyes. Also, no one can resist a growling Allen. Using the leftover money, they buy cute little rainbow umbrella hats for everyone and have Allen wear one who begrudgingly accepts it.

James, walking by with an armful hockey gear and flannel shirts, bursts out laughing when he sees this. In revenge, Allen forces him to wear one too and help him carry the dollhouse, much to Hawaii and Alaska's delight! "I said go my way puck head!" "No, it's my way, you vegan loving hoser!" A passing Francis (France)' is in stylish horror when they also make him and a nonchalant Luis (2p! France), holding a case of vintage wines, wear them too. Hawaii and Alaska go around giving umbrella hats to everyone including a sleeping Lutz they pass by.

Loving (Romano) practically has to supervise Feliciano (Italy) and keep him from buying anything too stupid on impulse or get scammed. They still end up with stacks upon stacks of cookbooks, kitchen wear, and a Mona Lisa made entirely out of Macaroni. They also get umbrella hats.

Flavio (2p! Romano) browses through clothing racks to get ideas for his vintage line. Also checks out the handmade fabrics like quilts. "Such craftsmanship! This pattern is so unique and chic! I simply must have it! What's your price Bella?" The nice old woman selling the quilt just smiles, "Oh just about five dollars young man." "Perfect!" Flavio hands the quilts off to Andreas (2p! Spain) who's practically buried underneath the fabric. Luciano (2p! Italy) facepalms while holding a new knife set in its case. "Oooh! Look at those adorable hats I just have to have one." Cue three more umbrella hats and a humiliated Luciano. "Just kill me now..."

Katyusha (Ukraine), Elizaveta (Hungary), Lillie (Liechtenstein), Natalya, (Belarus), Katya( 2p! Ukraine) and Anastasia (2p! Belarus), and Michelle (Seychelles) explore with armfuls of clothes, new ribbons, and a gun case for Switzerland (Lillie), cast iron frying pans (Elizaveta, watch out Prussia!), farm tools (Katyusha), Jewelry and unmentionables (Katya), dresses (Anastasia), an assortment of switchblades (Natalya), and one of those singing fish on a plague (Michelle). It's definitely an interesting group.

Kiku (Japan) and Kuro (2p! Japan) find a nerd booth selling comics, manga, and Japanese weapons like katanas. Kuro test swings a blade and tries to slice the table so hard it breaks the blade, "Hmmm, not sharp enough for me, got anything else?" He throws it on the pile of broken blades he's already tested. Kiku stockpiles on limited-edition manga and he and the vendor end up getting into a huge, heated by Kiku standards, debate on who's waifu is best. Further down, Alfred reads every Marvel/DC comic while keeping an ear out on every state's location. He checks on Texas via his glasses and notices he's beating Australia in the chili contest. "That's my boy!"

Wisconsin wearing a cheese head sells anything cheese-based. He's got cheddar, goat cheese, string cheese, cheese spray, gorgonzola, grilled cheese, cheese curds, Mac n' Cheese, cheese sculptures of all world monuments, you name it he's got it! He also starts a war with Iowa's corn dishes and Idaho's potato dishes. They eventually end up flinging cheese, potatoes, and corn after they start dissing each other's foods. "Take this cheese brain!" "Nice aim, I-da-ho!" "I told you not to call me that!" "I'm gonna go children of the corn on y'all's behinds!" Poor Nebraska is stuck in the middle.

Alfred (America) hears the commotion and using his parent radar, immediately knows who it is and reminds himself to ground Iowa, Wisconsin, and Idaho later along with Nevada who, though still grounded for sure, makes him feel a little proud of since he managed to out haggle Netherlands.

New Mexico and Arizona also sell Native American handicrafts along with things like dreamcatchers and giant inflatable aliens. While Delaware, being the boring stick in the mud that he is, walks by with a framed and complete U.S. quarter collection from a vendor.

Kansas sells out of every sunflower she had courtesy of Ivan (Russia). Ivan and her the team up to buy out every sunflower seed from here to kingdom come. Viktor (2p! Russia) buys all the vodka he can find and a new shovel while Xiao (2p! China) tries giving people tattoos for 10 bucks a pop.

He tries to convince Yao (China) to get a hello kitty one to match the giant plushie he's holding, with the encouragement of Leon (Hong Kong) and Yong Soo (South Korea) who all collectively agree he needs to quit being such a grandpa. They also like calling him an antique-like the items on sale. " Aiyah! I'm not that old, aru!" "Yeah, you are Sensei." "Don't deny it! Da Ze!" Respect your elders!" "Tattoos originated in Korea da ze!" He totally is that old.

Oliver (2p! England) holds a bake sale and has people lined up for blocks to get some. Arthur (England), after having his scones shut down after it poisoned some unlucky squirrels, fries selling authentic magical items like unicorn hair or pixie dust. Everyone thinks he's a little crazy but he did sell a good bit of old magic books he needed to get out of his house, after making sure no one could actually use them of course.

The Nordics also went perusing for antique and handmade furniture when Mathias (Denmark) spots two full sets of Viking costumes and tries to get Lukas (Norway) to try them on with him. Lukas wasn't amused.

Berwald (Sweden) and Tino (Finland) also find a great handmade table to get after inspecting the workmanship and a full Lego set for Peter (Sealand), now if only Mathias would stop squealing like a little kid at the full piece lego death star. Emil (Iceland) keeps thinking he's the mature one until he spots a mini top hat and cane for Mr. Puffin.

In the end, everyone ends up wearing umbrella hats courtesy of Hawaii and Alaska, loving all the strange things they bought or counting the profits they made. Alfred (America) is proud of his kids and visits everyone one of their stands. He ends up looking pretty funny with an umbrella hat (HW, AK), a washboard, (AL),a picture of Florida Man, (FL), a balloon alien (NM, AZ), a tye dye shirt (CA, WA, OR), hockey stick shaped glasses (MN, MI), a giant stack of comics with a replica Thor hammer and Captain America shield on his back, all in a shopping cart (NV), and a giant turkey leg in his hand (Tx). Unsurprisingly, it was a tie between Oliver, Texas, and Australia for who earned the most with their food. Georgia just smiled as this was another great year for her state and people!

[etherealluminescence]

the brothers + the former undateables finding out buff cat has kittens that are visiting devildom, but unfortunately buff kittens are extremely chaotic little shits, mc + diavolo + barbatos + simeon + satan doesn't believe anyone when they say "I'm convinced they're pure evil and they bite" "no they baby"

buff cat Buff Cat BUFF CAT BUFFCATBUFFCA-

I was really excited to write this. I LOVE Buff Cat. This is just making me grin while thinking of writing it. Aaaaa I mean I couldn’t just not draw it either,, aha? ;)

This also works for Belphie and Luke, but I think Mammon sees the most of the cats because he likes MC and visits them, but is TERRIFIED. More buff cat memes at the bottom. Also warning very long.

Brothers and New Datables reaction to Buff Cat’s kittens!

Lucifer

As soon as MC left the kittens and him alone, chaos ensued. Within minutes, one of the kittens successful spat out a hairball on him, and another was about to break his desk. The third was on his bookshelf, biting the spine of his books.

He didn’t want to raise his voice at kittens, but he swore they were trying to antagonise him on purpose. Normal kittens do not act like this.

As soon as he caught one coating his paperwork in their saliva, he began to shout. This only backfired, as they truly did plan to beat the shit out of him.

He knew he couldn’t retaliate, or MC would be mad, and so would Diavolo. Also, he’s pretty sure that their dad would beat him up.

The kittens clawed up his shirt, broke his desk, ruined his paperwork, books, pens, and made him bleed. He tried his very best to put them in corners without hurting them, but they acted as though they were high on katnip and are professional murderers.

Needless to say, as soon as MC returned he was breathless and a mess. MC didn’t even notice, and told him thanks for playing with the kittens!! He was about to tell MC to keep their kittens on a leash when MC just said they’re so energetic at this age.

Energetic?? You mean that’s ENERGETIC? Not MURDEROUS INTENT?

Never wants to be near another buff kitten. What on earth happens during their adulthood that changes them from a chaotic shit to this otherworldly entity.

Mammon

Mammon was screeching for hours. Literally screaming they were out for his flesh, and can smell his fear.

They bit his ankles and even with the blood seeping from it, neither you or Satan believed the buff kittens did it.

You both laughed it off as him getting hurt, and went to take care of the kittens.

He swears they’re trying to kill him and sacrifice his very soul.

Also he’s never stealing from Diavolo again after they started staying there, and even began protecting the place.

Leviathan

He was fine with Buff Cat, so why not the kittens? They looked so well behaved like MC, so why not offer to look after them for a little bit, while everyone was at school? He doesn’t go in person so he doesn’t mind.

Ah what a big mistake that was.

These kittens are trying to break into his aquarium; quite literally. They just attempted to headbutt the glass and made running starts repeatedly, hoping it would crack.

As soon as he got them to stop doing that, they began to knaw at his wires, which he had to stop. When he got a headcount, there were only two, so where was the third?

SHIT! HIS RURI CHAN FIGURINES!

The third one was now biting off one of his limited addition Ruri chan’s arms, and Levi was getting pissed. He wasn’t sure what he’d tell MC, but he was ready to kick them out of his room.

He remembered buff cat, his good buddy, and tried to just watch over them a little longer. They were his kids, so he could just do him one favour.

Levi was screaming in regret when all his manga was ripped to shreds. All. Of. It. Nothing was spared, and Levi was ready to kick them out for real.

Until MC and Buff cat came in to take the kittens. Levi was going to scream out his frustrations, but just as he said “your”, a kitten bit his ankle causing him to silently scream and fall to the ground.

Concerned, you both ran up to him and tried to help him up, wondering what happened. One kitten however, walked behind you and put a paw to his neck and sliced. Afterwards, he did the I’m watching you motion.

Scared enough to almost piss his pants, Levi kept his mouth shut on the experience he had today, and probably tommorrow. After all, since it went so well he wouldn’t mind watching them this week while everyone attended classes, right?

Satan

Wherearethebabieswherewherewhere

He was so excited, and constantly babied them. He had all the cat toys, the best cat food, and became a sort of servant for them.

With just a meow or point he’d be off to get them whatever they wanted. Even if they bit his books or stole his clothes, he’d just go aweee!! They’re learning how to use their bodies as they grow.

Originally opposed to Diavolo keeping them, as he wanted them, but the royals was a much better choice for three growing kittens.

Constantly showers them with affection and tries to baby talk them. It sounds kind of creepy.

When his brothers try to bully or blame the kittens for something the kittens obviously did, he lectures and berates them on cat development and why they shouldn’t hurt their feelings.

Asmodeous

Screaming out of fear and anger. Asmo found the three kittens in the mess of his clothes in his room.

They were all ripping and shredding at his clothes, and when they noticed him proceeded to bite and scratch as his hair, attempting to rip it out.

He was screaming like he was being murdered, and running around the room for five minutes. Every time he tried to exit, one would block the door.

Sensing that their MC was coming, the three behaved and snuggled up to him, meowing and purring as if they were content.

When MC entered, they noticed the scene before them and smiled!! How cute!! The kittens were snuggling against Asmo.

Asmo was shrieking and explaining to you what had happened, and your kittens pretended to act asleep.

Upset by him framing them, you gave him an earful that if he ripped up his own clothes on accident, he shouldn’t blame the kittens!

To think Asmo was so irresponsible.

Beelzebub

He figured since Buff cat worked out, and these were his children, who were absolutely buff, they’d work out too right?

Oh yeah. They worked out how to absolutely destroy the entire gym in a matter of minutes.

They aggressively beat up every gym go-er and threw dumbbells everywhere. They wrecked the treadmills and other machines, and bit off the wires for the electrical side.

Within minutes, Beel and the kittens were kicked to the curve, and banned for life. The injured staff and people were taken care of by Lucifer’s credit card. He 100% believed the buff cats did it, but neither you or Satan did.

It was kind of frustrating how you taught demons randomly burst into pain or that possibly Beel did it, but he understood you wanted to protect the kittens.

He understood they were still young and energetic, so they weren’t as peaceful. He’s aware they’re chaotic and will not deny it, but he still takes care of them as occasionally let’s them teeth on his fingers, so they can grow strong, since he knows they’re just playing.

Belphegor

no No NO.

He does not want to be near the buff kittens. He’s barely able to approach Buff Cat, but buff kittens? No way.

These buff kittens terrify him more than buff cat, and that’s saying something. There are three chaotic pieces of shits running around, biting ankles and trying to claw at everything.

He runs to the attic, unless the buff kittens are there. If they are, he runs off into the unknown.

Diavolo

He was the one who approved of them visiting. As soon as he heard buff cat actually had kittens, he wanted to meet them. With Barbatos agreeing, Lucifer lost the battle.

Was so happy to have them. Had Barbatos prepare everything, and even spent a whole lot of money on jewelled collars and adorable outfits!

He let them have the best milk in devildom, and even allowed them to rest in his room during their stay. It was even better because Diavolo was recently asking Satan for cat recommendations, as he felt like having a cat to pet while working would be nice.

This is based off a chat. ^^.

You all, the five, agree that it’d be a fun idea for them to stay in the devildom, and they’d be close to buff cat too, it’s a win win. They could stay with the royals, while HOL has Buff Cat. Simeon couldn’t take any since Luke was terrified.

Diavolo 100% babied them, even more than you. Some say he looks big and a bit scarily buff, but he now posts on his devilgram pictures of him and the kittens, which has actually helped his approachable image.

Cat papi.

Barbatos

He was on board with the idea of meeting new baby buff cats. He does pretty well with kids, and wouldn’t mind seeing the babies of such a sophisticated cat.

He was delightedly when MC handed them to him, and told him they’d be gone for a bit. He properly fed them, changed their clothes, pet them, give them attention, and even told them stories of MC.

The kittens were constantly entertained, and purred in delight every time he approached them. They seemed patient and cute, but according to the other staff they were worse than actual demons.

Apparently they were the ones who broke the stuff in the hallway, and managed to get a password to a secret room and broke everything in it. Luckily for the kittens, Barbatos didn’t believe it.

I mean, how could three kittens that seem desperate for love that just want some warmth act so devilishly?

Happy to report to MC that nothing came up. Even if he did catch them in the act, it wouldn’t matter. He would think they’re just being a little playful or energetic.

Very delighted that they catch mice, and now that they live here he has three strong cats to protect his kitchen and the prince.

Solomon

This is great!! Now he knows that buff cats breed, can he dissect them?

He was attempting to catch one while the three were there, but these chaotic brats would not sit still. They were jumping from couch to shelves, knocking over all sorts of things.

When he finally got them in his room, they began knocking over all his potions and books, and even began to bite back. They hissed and smacked him with their tails, body slammed him, and tried to claw his eyes out.

He figured feeding them would calm them down, but they ended up breaking his plates as soon as they saw him attempt to cook, these kittens have good intuition.

They proceeded to break everything in the kitchen, and when you came in to check on the noise with Simeon, you saw your three little kittens covered in flour, and Solomon with a defeated look.

Solomon tried to explain, but he got lectured for trying to dissect your babies. You even yelled at him for making them so scared that they tried their hardest to escape him, and almost got hurt because of it.

10/10 thinks those things are little shits.

Simeon

He loves them!! He’s probably good with human children, but with buff kittens he’s amazingly good as well!!

The kittens were well behaved and allowed him to pet them, and curled up as he read them stories!!

He gives them their bottles of milk,, he makes sure they’re warm,, and he babies them!! Because they’re baby.

He gave off great dad energy, and even invited Luke or Solomon to play with them. Luke suddenly had to visit the grocery store and Solomon for some reason was nowhere to be found.

Simeon would love to babysit them again, and even asked if they would come over more often! He and Buff Cat will also share stories of the kittens from now on, because they’re so cute.

Luke

No.

He is not going NEAR them. If he’s terrified of buff cat as is, what makes you think he’s not going to be terrified of buff kittens?

The second he sees one of them act mischievously, he’s screaming for Simeon. However, he just watches Simeon laugh it off.

He’s going to stay in his room until those demon spawns disappear.

+ MC

You were so so happy. Buff Cat’s little kittens were visiting you in the devildom, and you were ecstatic.

When you saw the kittens, you cuddled each of them for twenty minutes straight. You peppered them with kisses and gave them tummy rubs.

The brothers watched in shock, and were slightly envious that you were cuddling the kittens.

You got up to stretch, and as soon as you did they ran around and tried to bite everyone in the vicinity, and after you sat back down, they curled up to you like nothing happened.

Luke was in the corner shaking from how he just witnessed a kitten attempt to bite off Asmo’s eyelash.

Everyone except the baby bunch suddenly felt chills up their backs. It was not going to be a good week.

——————-

Here’s some memes! I think it’d be pretty funny and great on the lore if the royals actually took in the buff kittens, and began to care for them. The cats are as chaotic as Diavolo, so Diavolo would probably take fault and say he must of influenced the cuties, who are just replicating what they see like babies do. Luke, Mammon, and Belphie will never visit again. The kittens will also protect the jewels.

[vbee-miya]

May I please get hc’s for Jiraiya with two twin boys who love to cause mischief during their training with their dad? I just know if he got the chance Jiraiya would have made a great dad 😩.

[father jiraya]

✥︎ jiraiya || m.list

type: headcanon

warnings: mentions of pervertedness cause well he’s jiraiya you know? slight profanity

a/n: I love this concept soo much thank you. I might’ve gotten a bit overboard for a headcanon at least so I hope you don’t mind

➺︎ Jiraiya would definitely be a great father. He would always try to be around his children as much as possible. And he sure damn well does that.

➺︎ He would always be there for his sons and would be there to help guide them through strengthening their ninjutsu.

➺︎ Technically any time he’s with his sons it’s actually still training. Or he’d make it some opportunity to learn something. Or have them practice jutsu signs while they’re walking around town. You know something to keep them occupied.

➺︎ Not part of the request really, but I have this headcanon that if they were in Boruto; Boruto, Mitsuki, Shikadai and the twins would be the main trouble makers. And at this point phone calls home from Shino or Iruka Sensei would be something on the daily.

➺︎ Anyways by the time they had both graduated the academy you bet Jiraiya would start to take them around places not just in Konoha.

➺︎ Though it’s only on his mini travels or less major missions. Basically just when he needs to do research.

➺︎ So because of this he’d take his sons to various hot springs. Along the way he’d tell them stories of the past about himself or take the moment as an extra learning opportunity which his twins may find to be a bore. However when he would walk about Minato or Naruto their eyes would shine in suck awe.

➺︎ I have this headcanon that they’d be the spitting image of Jiraiya. So when they get to the hot spring not only do they look like him, but you bet they’d be quick to point out pretty women.

➺︎ Anyways they’d be walking right? But like Jiraiya would keep losing them. However that was only on the first time they traveled outside of the Leaf. So what he ended up doing was putting them on leashes. Like you know a nice little backpack leash.

➺︎ I’m sorry, but with children that constantly cause some sort of mischief. That’s an instant leash kid for me idc.

➺︎ Anywhozers when Jiraiya is in the middle of registering one of his boys would point over to some lady with a figure of a model and would have his jaw dropped to the floor and then drool.

➺︎ Jiraiya of course now being a father would tell them to stop and say that it’s not polite to do that especially towards women. It’s okay to think someone is pretty and admire them, but don’t be weird about it.

➺︎ Besides women is considered one of the shinobi prohibitions. And he doesn’t want his sons to end up like him.

➺︎ However what’s Jiraiya without the three shinobi prohibitions?

➺︎ Women, Gambling, and Drinking

➺︎ Anyways Jiraiya’s sons. Yes - He’d try to keep his cool, but sometimes he’d be caught off guard when one of his sons points out some pretty lady walking down the street. But he’s quick to be like no not until you’re both older. Then pulls them with their leash. At this point he’s just dragging them.

➺︎ Now this is where things get hectic. They’d be chilling in the hot spring and suddenly one of his boys ask what’s behind the wooden wall. And Jiraiya in one swift tone would be like women. That was definitely a no no.

➺︎ His boys would look at each other and then run towards the wall to take a peep. However Jiraiya was quick to notice and would stop them before they could see anything.

➺︎ And believe me Jiraiya would love to see it for himself because research however his sons were already the spitting image of him and already had a sudden awakening of being perverted. Just two more prohibitions and they’ll literally be mini Jiraiyas. Totally not his fault.

➺︎ Anyways with the mischievous intent the children had, stopping them wasn’t an option. And they got creative.

➺︎ Since he’s tall they’d just simply climb on top of him and latch onto the edge of the wall.

➺︎ Gladly there wasn’t anything explicit to the eye since there was already a thick cloud or smoke and steam from the hot springs that was covering up b00biez.

➺︎ However this didn’t mean no one noticed two little heads peeping from the top of the wall. Oh no no.

➺︎ Jiraiya took the blame for his sons mischievous actions and all three were mostly likely banned from that hot spring. It was a shame really.

➺︎ You’d think Jiraiya would’ve been mad at them and he was, but that was only a small portion of him. He actually found it comical how many similarities they have in common with him.

➺︎ However hot springs aren’t the only place they’re mischievous or cause mischief.

➺︎ Training at home was also another way for all hell to break lose. Especially when they’re training together.

➺︎ I’d highly doubt that the twins wouldn’t be competitive with one another. And that’s usually not a bad thing.

➺︎ Besides Jiraiya would be quick to end their fights if necessary.

➺︎ However it’s not that he’s considered about that it’s more so of the fact that he wants them to be separated for a while. So that he can really work one on one with them.

➺︎ He’s not in a rush to make them succeed right way. It’s not like they’d be the next Naruto and Nagato. Though that would be an interesting concept. However, realistically speaking that’s not it.

➺︎ He’s more so taking individual training slowly so that he can better understand his children. Getting an insight on what their personalities are like when they’re separated from one another. To see how creative they really are as an individual.

➺︎ Because he’s seen hell and hell has seen him. We all know that battles aren’t always the ideal. And that if you rely too much in one another than yourself you’re kinda screwed.

➺︎ So at home training would be more like on the down low. Trying to find the deeper chakra in you. Putting trust in yourself type of training.

➺︎ This would also mean individually training them how to make and use rasengan.

➺︎ God I could only imagine the chaos when both of them mastered the rasengan simultaneously.

➺︎ Putting them together in a room is already bad enough, but putting them together while mastering rasengan for the first time?! That’s like controlling a tailed beast.

➺︎ Anyways that made no sense. Time skip let’s say.

➺︎ So sage mode. Jiraiya would be hesitant at first because his children are already mischievous outside the house so who’s to say that they won’t be just as chaotic when they’re in Mount Myobūko. And imagining the amount of chaotic nature they have, with the side of mastering rasengan, only to top it off with sage mode? That’s kind of unnerving.

➺︎ Though all was well. For his twins at least. Despite them still being mischievous. However Fukasaku had no interest in playing their little act. He’d just have to be stricter on them.

➺︎ And because of that he’d hit Jiraiya for having raised such mischievous little boys.

➺︎ Looking at them would bring a smile to both Fukasaku and Shima. The two boys who are splitting images of their father would bring a sense of nostalgia back home to them.

➺︎ One would definitely love granny Shima’s cooking and the other would rather starve then eat whatever that was.

➺︎ Then once they’re set with Sage mode for sure they would’ve completed the chunin exams. However not in that way you’d expect them, and Jiraiya would definitely need to have a long talk about it with them. And being a shinobi at chunin level is not something to take lightly. Sure you’d be under some supervised atmosphere didn’t mean they could go around doing whatever mischievous idea comes to their minds.

➺︎ It may seems like he’s nagging a bit. It’s just that he knows how dangerous some missions are and if you’re not vigilant enough you could get seriously injured or killed. He’s just like any parent of a shinobi, he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to their child/children.

➺︎ Of course he holds the twins in such high standards and he knows they’ll succeed either way and eventually become wonderful, powerful, and skillful Jonins because they are his sons.

➺︎ I mean look at Minato, Naruto, Sasuke, Mitsuki, Shizune, and Sakura. All of them were trained under one of The Three Legendary Sanin and they all became successful. So who’s to say that Jiraiya’s children wouldn’t be just as good as the rest of them.

[secret-engima]

i sent you an ask a while ago about cor vs nyx time traveling chaos and you mentioned them BOTH going back which immediately made me think of the possibility of them going back as like, twin LCs

No.

NO.

DON’T MAKE ME MAKE A NEW AU.

*screams off into the ether*

*comes back*

ALRIGHT FINE BUCKLE UP LADIES AND GENTS AND TUMBLR DENIZENS I HAVE A NEW TWIN AU AND I’M RAMBLING.

-Nyx and Cor don’t MEAN to time-travel. Either of them. They just kinda .... do?

-They both wake up in the same clearing, with the words of the Astral that dumped them here (Ramuh) in their ears, sit up and realize they aren’t alone.

-Things are ... kinda stiff between them at first. They don’t know what’s going on, or where they are. All they remember is their respective lives before getting snatched by Ramuh.

-They at least know who the other is, and compare notes on what happened as they wander the definitely-not-ravaged-by-the-Long-Night wilds. Nyx is more than a little surprised to realize that his mirror double is Cor the Immortal, but that’s not ... the WEIRDEST thing going on right now. So.

-No. The weirdest thing going on right now is that they are both like- SIX YEARS OLD. And that they now look identical. Both of them are blue-eyed (Cor’s shade of blue, which irritates Nyx because why couldn’t he keep his own eye color at least?), with wispy black hair that is 100% Nyx’s, and cheekbones that belong to neither of them.

-Also magic.

-Cor is already quietly hitting his head against a tree before Nyx figures out what the clues all add up to.

-Nyx is not a happy camper when he realizes what has happened (read: when Cor explains it in between blistering language a Furia would blush at).

-Also Nyx still has the scars from his Death-By-Ring. Rippling, branching scars  running up his arm and along his cheek and temple on that side of his face. They’re white and “old” but still very, very noticeable.

-Cor and Nyx exchange stories as they wander the wilds, murdering wildlife that tries to eat them and hiding from the daemons at night (they both don't sleep well, because they’re one, children, two, Nyx has night terrors of dying, and three, Cor is terrified that if he goes to sleep he’ll wake up to find the sun gone.

-They finally reach civilization after about a month of bonding in the wilds over Shared Trauma and plans to change fate (Nyx is NOT HAPPY about the Prophecy KTHANKS HE DIDN’T DIE JUST FOR BAHAMUT TO KILL THE YOUNG KING AND PRINCESS) depending on where they are in the past.

-The civilization they find is Hammerhead, and the newspaper they snitch and huddle over tells them the year is 728. One year before Mors dies.

-Nyx manages to hiss the “What the-” in a non-child friendly phrase right as Cid finds them and startles them by asking where their parents are. Since a Startled Nyx is a Warptastic Nyx, there goes the bloodline secret in 0.02 seconds.

-Cor could Strangle™ Nyx if he wasn’t already 120% done with the time-travel thing and already planning to be a tiny prophecy smashing gremlin. Getting a speed ticket to Citadel via Cid, who will take them to Regis rather than Mors, is the safest option he could hope for honestly.

-So yea Cid collars the scruffy, underweight, dressed-in-rags-and-animal-skins twins and calls Regis to yell at him and that’s how Regis learns he is a dad of two Smol Feral 6 year olds at age 22.

-Regis drives out to Hammerhead with Clarus and COR so that his father doesn’t learn about this JUST yet and Time!Cor has a long moment of dysphoria staring at his Angry Teenage Self. While the Cor’s hold a staring contest, Nyx is a mess because the king he saw die is THERE and thoroughly convinced he’s Nyx’s DAD and Nyx CANNOT DEAL kthanks. Regis asks for their names and Nyx blurts out the first ones he can think of that aren’t Obviously Owned Already (Romulus and Remus and no Cor is NEVER going to forgive Nyx for that) and Regis is just- Regis is an Overwhelmed Die inside because KIDS. HE HAS KIDS. TWO TINY FERAL SIX YEAR OLDS WEARING ANIMAL FUR. ONE OF THEM IS TRYING TO BITE COR (admittedly Cor started it, COR STOP THAT). A few questions reveals they’ve been on their own in the wilds for “a while” using their magic and Regis is even MORE of a die.

-The question of where their mother is, where their other relatives are, is answered by Romulus (Cor) shutting down entirely and Remus (Nyx) hunching and shivering and whispering one word.

-That word is “Nifs”.

-Regis has to turn around and go pace in the parking lot with heat waves shimmering off his shoulders before he stops seeing red.

-Regis takes them home, Cid goes with because he and Regis may be on rocky terms but Cid does love Regis, and he loves kids, and he doesn’t trust Mors to “take this well” as far as he can throw the adamantoise.

-Cid is right.

-Mors does not take it well At All.

-Mors says some ... things that horrify Regis, because he would NEVER have thought his father capable of sinking so low. Makes demands about the children Regis has “created out of wedlock”. One of those demands is that they cannot be heirs and they must never be revealed to the court, they must be taken away and hidden somewhere to preserve Regis’s image and the “public trust”. Regis has no intentions to do this, obviously but Romulus, who has been spacing into the distance trying to astral project as a means of not crying his eyes out at the sight of a living Regis and Clarus, senses Mors’ hands reaching for Remus (his-his-his his only friend his only companion who understands his only safety for the last month his BROTHER HIS TWIN) and

-Cold hands cold magic demands-demands-demands. A leash in another’s hands, the burning apathy of a blacksmith beating a living weapon into shape, the taste of his own blood in his mouth as he trains-trains-trains and is found wanting.

-Cold hands cold magic reaching reaching touching touching burning burning engraving knowledge into his being his core his SOUL

-The knowledge forged in his spine-heart-soul-mind written in his blood on the ground and his scars in the mirror.

-Better to die than be a failure.

-He

-S N A P S.

-By the time he comes back to himself, it’s to Remus holding him tight around the waist making shushing noises while Romulus presses them both into a corner, his back to Remus and the taste of blood (not his blood he knows what his blood tastes like this isn’t it who’s blood is this-) in his mouth as he clutches at a sword too big for his tiny body, a silver armiger bristling like spines. He has no memory of how he went from glaring at the wall while Regis and Mors argued to huddling here in the corner with his magic screaming around him in blades and spitting flakes of ice.

-There is no sign of Mors in the room.

-Regis is there. Regis and Clarus on the far side of the room, trying to talk to him, and something tells him they’ve been talking for a while.

-It’s Cor, his younger self, his previous self, that he locks eyes with from across the room, and it’s Cor who looks murderous in his understanding as he briskly orders Regis and Clarus and Cid out of the room.

-The silence when they leave is heavy.

-Cor settles down on the farthest side of the room, his sword propped on his shoulder and his shoulders intentionally relaxed. He’s treating Romulus like a frightened animal, an abused animal, and it’s working more than he wants it too.

-The adult part of Romulus curses his lack of control, how being in a younger body effects his actions so much more than he wants it to.

-The rest of him doesn’t care.

-It takes an hour for Romulus to finally drop the Armiger, but he doesn’t move from the corner, or acknowledge Remus trying to nudge his way free of the corner.

-It takes another 30 minutes for Cor to deem Romulus “present” enough to ask, “Is he still alive?” The man who hurt you. The man who Mors reminded you of.

-Romulus just laughs until his little body starts to cry. It’s answer enough.

-Cor becomes their only adult touchstone for a while. They stay in the massive royal suite (Regis’s suite, Romulus knows from years of experience and Remus from the occasional guard duty). Regis doesn’t come in, but Romulus can sense him at the door a few times, and Cor’s phone is constantly dinging with messages that are probably from Regis or Clarus.

-When Cor finally lets another adult into the suite again (bristling protectively the entire time), Romulus and Remus find out that their timeline? Yeah. It already got thrown out the window.

-Regis comes in.

-He’s wearing the Ring.

-Romulus stares, Remus doesn’t know better to realize what is wrong with that picture. There is something hard in the set of Regis’s shoulders, something weary and protective and ... jaded. Jaded like Regis hadn’t been until years after Mors death when Regis finally dug out the deepest, nastiest secrets of his father’s reign.

-”Is he dead?” Romulus asks numbly.

-Regis follows his gaze to the Ring, and his expression shifts to surprise, then a black sort of anger, then a careful, tired gentleness, “No. But his health was failing. So I ... convinced him ... to step down. He won’t be coming near you again. Not unless you ask.” Regis’s voice cracks and there is a love and a pain in his magic as it tentatively wraps around the twins that makes Romulus realize Just What Regis thinks is the source of Romulus’s violent panic attack, “No one will come near you or touch you unless you ask first.”

-And something in Romulus keens, just a little, at the reassurance of those words. His issues aren’t what Regis thinks they are but ... it’s a relief. Even though his time-table is now even shorter with Regis having put on the Ring and become king a year early .... it’s a relief. To know that Mors won’t come near him or Remus again.

-Romulus doesn’t bother to stop his tears (this is his king, his sword-brother, his best friend, his FATHER of both lifetimes even if this is the first one in blood) as he tentatively steps forward all the way to where Regis is kneeling.

-He can feel Regis shake with suppressed tears as he carefully wraps his arms around Regis’s waist and whispers thank you.

-He’s surprised when Remus joins him, because the glaive only knew Regis as king, but there is a loyalty, a grateful devotion in the man turned boy turned brother that is so deep and vibrant it rings in the air in his magic. A loyalty that could so easily turn into love just like the unconditional, all-powerful love settling on their shoulders like a blanket as Regis oh so tentatively rests a hand on their heads.

-Somewhere in the future that never will be again, the gears of prophecy groan and crack.

[avictimofthejazz]

[ 👻 ] does your muse have regrets? what are some of their deepest ones? -For B.A

[ 🐺 ] does your muse have trouble relying on others? why or why not? -For Maggie

[ 🪀 ] what was your muse’s childhood like? how did their upbringing affect them? -For Michael Knight

[ 👨‍🏫 ] how much does your muse care about image? how would they react if something personal got leaked about them? -For Face

@letsturnandburn

[ 👻 ] does your muse have regrets? what are some of their deepest ones? -For B.A For BA, a BIG regret is not being able to go home to his mom. He knows it’s not his fault, or Hannibal’s, that they are wanted by the military and that they were set up…but he still wants to be able to go home and take care of his mother. He misses her and knows it’s not right that the best he can do is quietly wire her money a few times a month and send letters and phone calls. Even the letters and phone calls slow down though when guys like Decker get too close—he doesn’t want his mother accidently caught up in any of the A-Team’s wake.

[ 🐺 ] does your muse have trouble relying on others? why or why not? -For Maggie (I actually already answered this one and since it’s not the kind of question that can have multiple answers, I just brought back the other answer XD) Maggie finds it fairly easy to rely on other people. Being a doctor and a combat medic, she got used to working in a team arrangement. If she could not rely on the rest of her staff, or if she constantly doubted and second-guessed them then someone was going to die. A person still has to prove they’re competent before she’ll let them too far off the leash but once a person proves themselves, she trusts them to do their job right. If they can’t pull that off…well…that is a conversation for a different time.

[ 🪀 ] what was your muse’s childhood like? how did their upbringing affect them? -For Michael Knight Michael’s childhood was fairly standard and happy, aside from his father dying of leukemia when he was nine. His mother raised him on her own after that but he also had several uncles who stepped in to be ‘dads’ for the young Michael Long. An All-American boy in many senses of the word, Michael’s childhood was filled with fishing, playing sports, going to school, and playing with the other kids in his neighborhood. Growing up as he did left Michael with an innate trust in the overall decency of humanity and a love for people. While experience has given him a crusty, cynical edge at times, he has never lost this core tenant of his personality. When he does have reason to be bitter and cynical, it is aimed at the individual and he never makes assumptions about a group at large because of the actions of one person.

[ 👨‍🏫 ] how much does your muse care about image? how would they react if something personal got leaked about them? -For Face Face really cares about his personal image—especially when he’s stressed and feeling out of control. The more stressed Face is, the more likely you are to see him wearing Armani and Rolexes. (Granted he does dress like this at other times too BUT a Face who’s wearing three-piece suits for the fifth day in a row is a Face that needs to have someone to check in with him). When everything else in his life feels like it’s spiraling out of control, his image is one thing he can control and does so aggressively. That being said, he’s not too worried about anything personal being leaked about him. The bottom line is that most of the ‘embarrassing’ information is already pretty public knowledge (the botched job in Vietnam, the arrest etc.). He can be indiscrete at times but NEVER to the point of compromising photos or video and mere rumors he can deny if he ever needs too. If anyone could get anything personal on him to leak, he’d be annoyed but also acknowledge that they worked for their dirt at least. Now if someone fabricated such information on purpose, he would be far more annoyed and track that person down to have a chat.

[thehighlandhealer]

Trick or Treat, Cont. || Charleson, Bronwyn, Lirim, Aedan, Rory, & Cynthia || October, 2020

Lirim: Lirim tossed his phone onto the table, smiling apologetically at his son. Their first outing with Charles. His first, that is. Bronwyn was another story.

"He said five's fine," Lirim called to Bronwyn. Paint was much more manageable than makeup, in his opinion. His son's whiskers, made of his mother's eyeshadow, would survive the next few hours. Aedan wouldn't care or much notice. His ears were free. When was he going to develop a tail?

Bronwyn: “Five it is!” Bronwyn called back. She was deep in her makeup drawer looking for a tube of eyeliner that seemed to have disappeared. “Why didn’t I draw the whiskers on with eyeliner, they’re goin’ to smudge. Oh! Marie and Lydia have asked us to stop by their houses. No one in this city will have better treats.”

Lirim: "You won't go touchin' your face, will ya, Aedan? Some settin' spray and you're ready to hit the town."

Lirim perked, looked over the mass that was his son's curly hair. "Oh really? Haven't seen them in ages." He hadn't seen much of anyone outside of the art gallery, so no surprise.

A thought occurred to him. Shit. "Guess that means I'm seein' Mason again."

Bronwyn: “Aye, darlin’, it does. Ha!” She returned to the room a few moments later with the eyeliner and her setting spray. “But don’t worry, ev’ryone will be on their best behavior. Includin’ him.”

Lirim/Aedan: Xavier's uplifting words rang in his memory as reminder. He didn't have to be afraid of him. Not anymore. Just confounding that anyone spent any amount of time with that demon.

He didn't have room to judge, considering his favorite Atlas, but he would.

Aedan was about having his fill of this face touching. The squirming had begun.

"Patience, puppers!"

Bronwyn: “I’m almost done, lovey.” Bronwyn made quick work of touching up Aedan’s whiskers before telling him to close his eyes for the setting spray. “There, all done!”

Lirim: "Ya know he's gonna have a fit when ya try and take that off." Oh well. It was just one night. His son was certainly no artist, putting up with the smell of makeup was easier than paint, and it was for a good cause. He didn't have whiskers and he wanted them.

"Alright, Toto, all done. Ready to meet Dorothy?"

Bronwyn/Aedan: “It won’t be so bad. Just one wee little makeup wipe and it’ll come right off.”

Aedan gave his mother a skeptical look but the excitement over the candy he would soon have won out.

“Yeah!”

Lirim/Aedan: "I shoulda gone as the Big Bad Wolf, Miss Riding Hood."

"Wolves are good!"

And Aedan wouldn't hear otherwise. "You're absolutely right. He just had an image issue." Bronwyn was given a look.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn smiled and nodded. “Absolutely. An image issue and questionable manners. Daddy should’ve gone as the Big Good Wolf.” That last added with a teasing look.

Lirim/Aedan: His parents were given a look. The look of a child aware but unable to articulate. Instead, going on about how he wanted a candy apple on a stick.

"You got it, Toto."

Bronwyn: “I think—and I’m no’ positive or anythin’—but I’m pretty sure Auntie Lydia is makin’ candy apples with red caramel.”

Lirim/Aedan: Aedan's eyes couldn't have been brighter.

"Oh boy, Toto's gonna need a leash."

And off their son ran across the house screaming.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn laughed. “Oh, aye. I probably shouldn’t tell him there are also goin’ to be cookies.”

Lirim: "Shhh. He'll be in a sugar coma before eight."

Bronwyn: “Eight?” she chuckled. “Aren’t we bein’ optimistic. My money’s on seven.”

Lirim: "That's better than eight. What ya wanna bet?"

Bronwyn: “Hmmm...” She tapped her chin. “Dinner.”

Lirim: "What ya want?"

Bronwyn: “Shrimp and grits with an ungodly amount of cheese.”

Lirim: "Homemade or restaurant?"

Bronwyn: “Homemade. What do ye want if ye win?”

Lirim: "I want... to paint you."

Bronwyn: “Paint me or paint me?”

Lirim: "I mean paint on your body in my studio."

Bronwyn: “It’s a bet. What do ye want to turn me into?”

Lirim: "We'll have to see. Been a long time."

Bronwyn: “Aye, it has.” She smiled and kissed Lirim’s cheek. “Ye can turn me into anythin’ ye like.”

Lirim: "Maybe I've some ideas. In the nude, of course."

Bronwyn: “Well that goes without sayin’. What’s a little nudity after ye’ve impregnated someone.”

Lirim: "Oh?" He laughed. "Speakin' of 'fore I get ahead of myself, how's the Viking?"

Bronwyn: “Still tall, stoic, and handsome. He got a kick out o’ my costume.”

Lirim: "They don't do Halloween in Iceland?"

Bronwyn: “Iceland kind of does a wee, Torsten doesn’t do it at all.”

Lirim: "Makes sense, I guess." Lirim looked in the direction of their son. "And he's good with Aedan?" Hundredth time asking. "He should... be here. He's gonna have a lot more Halloweens."

Bronwyn: She nodded. “Aye, he’s good with Aedan. I asked him to come with us but he’s in Iceland at the moment, takin’ care of some family business.”

Lirim: "Do ya want Aedan to call him dad?"

Bronwyn: “I want Aedan to call him whatever feels right to him.”

Lirim: "Ya'd think I'd be used to it. I mean he already -" He'd stop right there. "Anyway, Charles should be here any minute."

Bronwyn: She kissed his cheek again. “I love ye, Lirim Vivaldi. Ye know that? There’s no timeline on gettin’ used to it.”

Lirim: "Love ya too, Mama B. Ya know he calls ya that when we're alone? Totally picked it up from Lucien I know it."

Bronwyn: “He does?” Bronwyn positively melted at the sweetness of it all. “That’s adorable! And he absolutely did and I’m no’ surprised at all. I love bein’ Mama B.”

Lirim: "He asked about Lucien a few days ago. Didn't realize how often they were together."

Bronwyn: “Aye, the magic of teleportation. I’ve been wantin’ to learn it, I feel bad havin’ Vincent go back and forth so often.”

Lirim: "Can't be easy. I mean, that's why it belongs to familiars, and... demons."

Bronwyn: “Ye’re right. Avalbane is over three hundred and she can’t do it.”

Lirim: "Shit. What's she got over ya, though? Spells wise, I mean."

Lirim turned to the foyer mirror and adjusted his hat.

Bronwyn: “Sheer volume o’ spells. Decade upon decade of experience. That spell she used to help us with Aedan? It’s so obscure she found it on a stone tablet.”

Lirim: His smile softened. "Just had a conversation about that, actually, with Xavier Atlas." He watched for her reaction.

Bronwyn: She didn’t quite frown, but there was a definite tightness to her smile at the mention of that man.

“Were ye indeed,” she said as casually as she could. “Does he get his magic from stone tablets as well?”

Lirim: "I imagine if Xavier Atlas were reborn today, he'd be that bookworm child that turns into a mage. Or a mad professor. Or a politician. Can't really pin which."

Bronwyn: “Or held in a federal prison for tax evasion.”

Lirim: "I mean," he laughed, "they're not saints, but they're hungry, Atlases."

Bronwyn: “That’s definitely one way to put it. Do ye see him often?”

Lirim: "Nah. First time in...years."

Bronwyn: “Was it a good visit?”

Lirim: "I needed it. Been meetin' up with a few people I lost." He gestured to the front door. "Charles included."

Bronwyn: Bronwyn reached for Lirim’s hand and gave it squeeze. “Well for that, I’m glad. It’s nice to see ye returnin’ to yer life, spendin’ time with people ye enjoy. Ye’re like a flower bloomin’ after a long winter.”

Lirim: "Only a druid would say that," he laughed. He felt like he'd been doing more of that lately.

Bronwyn: He had and it had not gone unnoticed. It was such a welcome sound.

“It’s true! Ye’re our angelic flower.”

Lirim: Lirim shook his head, rubbed his cheeks with both hands. "Alright, Ridin' Hood, ya all set to go?"

Bronwyn: “All set. I’ve got ev’rythin’ we can possibly need in my basket.”

Charles/Rory: Charles gave a single nod, indicating that Rory could, indeed, be the one to ring the doorbell. He did so with great enthusiasm, before Charles guided him gently back.

Lirim/Aedan: Of course. The doorbell was piano keys, after all. This didn't have to be a child for someone to go to town on it.

"Someone's playing music!" called his son.

"No, I got it!" his father laughed, opening the door less than a moment later.

"Hey, fam!"

Bronwyn: Bronwyn would appear at Lirim's shoulder almost instantly, greeting their new arrivals with a radiant smile.

"There they are! Come in, come in! Look at ye, ye look great!"

Charles/Rory/Cynthia: Charles was all smiles for his friends, tipping back his pointed hat to more easily press a kiss to each of their cheeks.

Rory and Cynthia both were happy to see Bronwyn, Dorothy and a little Tin Man stepping forward for hugs they knew were coming.

"Hello, hello! Rory, Cee, this is... Mr. Lirim Vivaldi." He'd leave it up to the man himself to decide how he wanted to be addressed.

Lirim: "Hi!" The old saying of loving only your kids was relevant to Lirim; he didn't feel like a natural around other people's children and doubted he ever would. But these were Charles'. He got on a knee to shake their hands. He then called to Aedan to greet them.

Bronwyn: The children already knew her very well; they'd both be kissed and given a good squeeze that stopped just shy of mussing their costumes. Their father would be given equal treatment.

She smiled as Lirim greeted them, taking the opportunity to grab her camera from her basket and start snapping pictures.

"I can't get over those costumes! Ye're all so precious I could eat ye right up. Smile for the camera!"

Charles: Charles was not nearly so averse to being photographed as his husband, but there was no need to capture his ridiculous witch's costume for posterity. With a wry smile, he nudged his children gently toward where Aedan stood. "Let's get one of the kids together. Following the yellow brick road, and all that."

He had a sunny smile for Bronwyn and Lirim's son. After all, he did not share Lirim's opinions on other people's children. He'd certainly have chosen the wrong bloody profession, if he did.

"Nice to see you again, young man. You've gotten so big!"

Lirim/Mason/Aedan Mason lagged behind, still warding and locking down the townhouse just a few feet away. His hooded masked figure cut an intimidating silhouette compared to the others. By design, given the city. This was his city and his people, but this was his family, and a priority. He would be watchdog tonight. No doubt with Charles' ability, danger would not survive twenty yards.

Aedan began explaining his costume, as though it were required. Toto for Dorothy! With a bark as real as his dark brown ears perked tight with excitement.

Lirim adjusted his son's curls and returned to his feet. "He really has." The naphil stilled at the sight of the demon, taking a breath. A nod of acknowledgment.

Bronwyn: There was every need to capture Charles' witch costume for posterity and that was precisely what Bronwyn was going to do.

"Aye, let's! Ev'ryone move in closer and give me a big smile!" She snapped a couple of photos of the kids and a couple more of Lirim and Charles. "Mason!" she called. "Come see the cuteness!"

Charles: Charles was not the least bit concerned about the evening. Nor did he believe himself, Bronwyn, and Lirim incapable of defending against any unlikely danger. But he welcomed his husband's presence, all the same. He smiled fondly as Aedan went into the details of his costume. They really were an adorable trio.

"Are we ready to begin? We're following your lead, here."

Lirim/Mason/Rory: "Little terrors in disguise!"

Rory looked back to his father. "Nah uh!"

Lirim locked the door behind them with a flick of his hand. No one around to notice. "Start here and go counter-clockwise, then Coverdale?" he looked to Bronwyn for confirmation.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn mapped the proposed route in her head and nodded. "Sounds good to me! Ev'ryone stay together now, and if ye hear a verra cranky poodle, just walk on by. She only barks if ye give her attention and if ye give her attention she tries to bite ye."

Charles: Charles laughed openly, adjusting his hat as it slipped. "She sounds delightful. I'll keep a wary eye. Do you lot want to leave a bowl of candy out for any kids that come by?"

Lirim: "Last time I did the whole cauldron was gone!" Lirim laughed.

Bronwyn: "I'm convinced that kid who thinks he's James Dean and his mates took the lot."

Charles: "There's always one."

Lirim/Mason: "Should I?"

Mason was already off with the children to the nearest house on their side of the street.

Bronwyn: "We can, if ye like. It's still early, there's a chance bargain bin James Dean won't show up for another couple of hours."

Charles: "I like to, when no one's around to answer the door, but it's your bowl."

Lirim: "Out of that giant school? Not even a maid?"

Lirim unlocked the door with another flick, glanced at his son and ran inside for a jack-o'-lantern bucket, filling it with tiny bags of Reese's Pieces.

Charles: "In Cameron, or wherever else. There's always someone at the school."

Lirim: "Cameron?" The bucket placed. Lirim picked up the pace to join his son.

Charles: Charles followed closely behind, catching a speeding Rory as he returned from the door with chocolate in his once-empty bucket.

"Careful! Mhm. My husband has a house there." For now, anyway.

Lirim: Charles was given a quick glance. "Do you see it as a home, despite being a school?"

Charles: "I do. It's been my home for a long time, now. Well, our home. It'd just be an old house, without everyone else."

Lirim: "Funny, what we put stock in." He flicked his wrist back at the townhouse behind them. "Raised there. Was in stasis after my folks; lived with my Mema. Then it was mine again. Thought about gettin' rid of it, but there's too much in it. Don't have it in me."

Charles: He nodded, glancing at the house briefly, before turning back to watch his children sprint off to the next house. He buried the impulse to ask them to slow down. "I understand that. I might've sold the old place, if we hadn't needed it. And then the idea for the school took root in my head and I couldn't dislodge it. I'd never part with it, now. Means too much. And not only to me. I'll likely pass it on, though. When the time comes. To someone I trust who shares my vision."

Lirim: Lirim nodded, watched his son, his son's mother, the demon.

"Someone like that exist, or still lookin' around?"

Charles: "I imagine it'll be one of my staff. Possibly one of my students, when they're old enough and experienced enough. I'm not opposed to passing my legacy along to my children, but I suspect they'll forge their own paths." He snorted softly, mostly to himself. "Perhaps we need one more."

Lirim: A statement which put a smile on the naphil's face. They were indeed different.

"Got the parental itch for more, huh?"

Charles: Charles lifted a shoulder. "I wouldn't call it an itch, but I'm certainly open to the concept."

Lirim: "Do they all feel like your children?"

Charles: "Yes and no. I love them. And I feel deeply responsible for their wellbeing, of course. I am. But it's... different."

It seemed a poor word to describe the depth of devotion he felt toward his own children, but he couldn't think of a better one, presently.

Lirim: "Never taught anyone anything until Aedan. Can't relate." He adjusted his coat, face contorting with thought. "I take that back. I mean, I walk people through what I do in the studio, but that's -" he waved away his words.

"Anyway."

Charles: "I think I've always wanted to be academic. Teaching or learning. Teaching feels more useful." Less selfish. "Would you ever consider teaching art?"

Lirim: "People gotta learn, someone's gotta teach." But that being said, he scoffed. "Hell no. Probably hang myself bein' asked the same questions all the time. But! That's why people like you exist."

Charles: Charles laughed, a bright sound that carried on the early evening air. "It's not so awful. But, perhaps you're right. 'Those who can't do,' and all that. We should catch up with the children."

Lirim: Such sound paired well with Charles' emotion.

"I get the sayin', but I don't get how that applies to someone like you."

Charles: "Someone like me?" He raised an eyebrow, casting a half-smile at Lirim as he began walking just a bit quicker, slowly narrowing the distance between himself and his family.

Lirim: Bronwyn had gone ahead, probably for his old neighbor. Still, he didn't want her to feel alienated from the conversation. Not that he'd felt anything of the sort; he was thinking too much.

"Ya know. A genius."

Charles: Charles gave a soft little snort and shook his head. "I know geniuses; I'm not one. I'm merely studious. I've spent more than half of my life in a classroom. More than that, I suppose, if you count being on the opposite side of things."

Lirim/Mason: "Just didn't wanna leave the classroom?"

Mason glanced back at that statement, expression well hidden behind his mask.

Charles: He gave a soft laugh, head tilting ever so slightly at his husband. "I suppose not."

Mason: "Why him?" Mason whispered to Bronwyn.

Bronwyn: “Why him what?” Bronwyn whispered back, snapping another picture of the children. “Also which him?”

Mason: "Your him. Why him as the father?"

Bronwyn: "The real question should be why me as the mother."

Mason: "Not even the fuckin' question. Of course you."

Bronwyn: "I was originally a surrogate, remember? He picked me."

Mason: A growl of response. He hadn't appreciated that, either, but such was in the past.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn nudged him. "Hey now, why the growlin'?"

Mason: "I don't like the idea of ya bein' used."

Bronwyn: “Mason.”

Mason: "I know."

Bronwyn: She squeezed his arm. "No one used me. I offered o' my own free will and I'd do it again."

Mason: "Does he remember the other one?"

Bronwyn: "We both do," she said softly. "And fuck him right to hell."

Mason: "The kid remembers the wolf?"

Bronwyn: “Oh, never mind I thought ye were talkin’ about Lirim.” She shook her head. “No, we don’t think so.”

Mason: "Has he asked why y'all don't have ears?"

Bronwyn: Another head shake. “No’ yet. He thinks ev’ryone has them.”

Mason: Mason looked back to Charles. With no expression to give with a mask, his arm opened, offering warmth instead.

Charles: Words weren't necessary, and in this instance facial expressions were superfluous as well. Charles understood the offer for what it was and hurried to accept, closing the distance between them more swiftly and pressing himself against his husband's side. There was no skin available to kiss, so he settled for grabbing the hand that wrapped around him.

"Looks like they're getting on well."

Bronwyn: Bronwyn couldn't help but smile at them. They looked so happy; she didn't need to be able to see Mason's expression to see that.

"Aren't they just? They're so sweet," she said, snapping another photo of the kids. "This is a good bondin' activity for them."

Lirim/Mason: "Really glad he's able to have this. Sooner rather than later he's going to be with more of his people. Just need to set a date."

"Away with the druids?" Mason's question directed to Bronwyn. Charles' hand given a squeeze.

Charles: "It is," he agreed, with a nod. "They ought to spend more time together. It'll be good for all of them."

Charles turned his attention toward Lirim, still keeping pace with his husband. "Oh?"

Bronwyn: She nodded. "Yes to both. No' away as in away, but away as in goin' across the pond to learn with some other wee Druids."

Lirim: "Not like there's an angel academy. I want him with his people. He just happens to have more than one set of people."

Charles: "That's wonderful. I'm sure he'll enjoy himself. You'll both be going with him?"

Bronwyn: "It'll definitely give us an excuse to drop in on my family in Scotland more often. My grandda Owen loves Lirim's art."

Lirim/Mason: "Definitely goin' with him. I wanna see everything."

"They aware of everything he is?" Mason asked.

Charles: "Mm. That'll be lovely for both of you." He glanced to his husband, though the face he loved was hidden by that mask. "We should visit Scotland, after the house is built."

Bronwyn: Bronwyn nodded. "Mostly, aye. They know he's a Druid and they also know he's no' only a Druid, but I figured it was best that they hear the specifics from both of us in person."

Mason: "Your gran'mama gonna be there?" Of all those in her family, that woman he could trust. He didn't think highly of the half-angel among them, but that little boy running about with his son was a part of Bronwyn. Under his gray wing of protection.

Charles: "Mm. Such conversations are best had face-to-face. I'm glad you'll be seeing your family, soon." He only wished he had more family for his own kids to know.

Bronwyn: Another nod. "Aye, she never misses a chance to see Aedan or Lirim. Always asks about ye," she added with a smile over at Mason.

"I am, too. I always enjoy visitin' home."

Lirim/Mason: Lirim simply listened. What he felt from Mason was palpable like a humid summer afternoon. Forced trust through others was never real trust. This they could both agree.

"Next time, call me," Mason said, adjusting the hard plastic mask. Too long since he'd laid eyes on the woman that harbored his secret.

Bronwyn: "Aye, I'll do that, and I'll also remind ye to get her some flowers for deprivin' her of yer company for so long."

Lirim/Mason: "She tell ya s'what she wanted?"

"I didn't know he'd met your family," Lirim laughed politely.

Mason quickly brushed his fingers over Charles and Bronwyn's arm, walking ahead to check on the children. Rory and Aedan standing still, negotiating over some undesirable candy.

Charles: Charles kept pace with the remaining adults, but his gaze did skate frequently toward the children.

Bronwyn: "Years ago," Bronwyn said with another nod, smiling after Mason. "Back before I adopted Lucien, when I was...goin' through a wee patch."

Lirim: Lirim cast her a quick look, one of mild confusion, before nodding. "Mm. Feels like yesterday we all met."

Charles: "Does it?" Charles laughed softly. "Feels like it's been a century. I suppose that happens when everything you think you know about the world gets turned on its head." It was as though he could divide his life into two clean hemispheres.

Bronwyn: "I'm with Lirim. It feels like Aedan was still a baby five seconds ago. Feels like I was meetin' Lirim ten seconds ago. Time is a right old bastard."

Lirim: "When I'm with y'all it goes by like that," he snapped his fingers. "When I'm alone time stands still. Great for paintin'," he chuckled.

Charles: Charles pulled Lirim into a brief half-hug. "We should do this more often. Not Halloween, obviously, but the rest."

Bronwyn: "The kids would love it if Halloween came more often," Bronwyn laughed. "But, aye, we should. It'll be good for them and good for us."

Lirim: Lirim was pleasantly caught off guard by the random bit of affection. His smile blossomed.

"Absolutely. I'd love to get some paint on both of ya."

Charles: He lifted an eyebrow, chuckling. "On? As in a living canvas? Or do you want to see me struggle to form a decent stick figure?"

Bronwyn: "I personally would love that."

Lirim: "Now I wanna see the stick figure, but I mean literally on ya."

Charles: "Trust me, you don't. But my skin is at your disposal, sir. I've never been painted on."

Lirim: "I dunno what's stopped me, but it won't stop me now."

Charles: "Good. I'm looking forward to it."

Bronwyn: "It's settled then. Lirim will paint ye and then ye can wow us with yer stick figure paintin'."

Lirim: "What'll ya be doin' while I'm paintin' and he's stick figurin'?"

Charles: "An excellent question. I don't want to be alone in my artistic pursuits."

Bronwyn: "Bakin' probably."

Lirim: "So we get the smell of fresh baked bread mixed with acrylic and oil? Tasty."

Charles: "Sounds like a party. I've never been able to resist baked goods."

Bronwyn: "I've been wantin' to make some potato bread. Found a recipe that looks promisin'."

Lirim: "I'm gonna end up usin' brown and yellow paint and forget everything else."

Charles: "I love potato bread. Now, I'm starving." He was going to have to enact a dad tax on those sweets. "Rory! Cee! Have you gotten any Paydays?"

Mason: Mason looked back, wriggling a small PayDay - all sweets were small these days, weren't they? - before tossing in Charles' direction.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn laughed. "I'd be curious to see what magic ye can create usin' only yellow and brown."

Charles: He made a valiant effort to catch the candy, but it tumbled out of his grasp. With a sigh, he bent to retrieve it. Still good. "Thanks, love."

Lirim/Mason: 'Ya didn't play catch as a child,' his husband guessed, smiling through his mask as he turned back to the children.

"Challenge accepted," Lirim grinned. His pride as an artist on the line, he must! Already had ideas.

Bronwyn: "Oh yay!" she chuckled. "I'm definitely makin' potato bread while ye paint in hopes that ye turn Charles into a really beautiful artistic potato."

Charles: 'I did not,' he confessed, popping the little candy into his mouth and tucking the wrapper into his pocket to dispose of, later. He flashed a quick smile. 'I was more of a tree-climbing, bug-catching boy.'

With a snort, he shook his head. "Oh, yes. I've always wanted to be a potato. Dreams do come true."

Lirim/Mason: 'Of course you were. For science.'

"Not a potato! Maybe a uh... maybe a glorious sunrise," Lirim smiled.

Bronwyn: She just could not stop laughing. The mental image she'd conjured of Charles painted like a potato was tickling her pink.

"Aye, that would be lovely. Really anything ye do will be lovely."

Charles: 'For science,' he chuckled at their private conversation.

Charles pressed a kiss to the side of her head. A potato, indeed. "Perhaps not the dream, but I'm willing to be a sunrise as well."

Lirim: "Could paint ya both. Sunrise and sunset. Maybe a full moon. Yellows, browns, blue, black and white..." Annnnd he was going off on his own tangent.

Bronwyn: "And I'm more than willin' to be a sunset. Go crazy, darlin', we'll be yer muses. Won't we, Charles?"

Charles: He nodded, thoughtful. "I've always wanted to be an artist's muse."

Lirim/Mason: "No one’s ever drawn ya? Written a poem? Love letter?"

Mason picked up the pace to his children.

Charles: Charles lifted his shoulder. He wasn't heartbroken. "I've received very touching text messages?"

Bronwyn: "With that face? I'm sure there have been people who've drawn ye and written ye letters, even if they never sent them."

Lirim: "I can see that. Takes guts to give that up. Easy to make em, though."

Charles: He gave a soft laugh. "It's a flattering thought. I suppose we'll never know."

Bronwyn: "Aye, it does. I remember writin' a few letters myself when I was young and shovin' them away in a drawer somewhere."

Lirim: "Still around, maybe? My Mema had this book, had all sorts of love letters - and break up letters - from history. Went back two hundred years, I think."

Charles: "Oh, that's fascinating! Your own little piece of history!" He was delighted.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn nodded. "Aye, they should still be in my old bedroom somewhere. My mama didn't really move anythin' around."

Her face lit. "That's lovely! Does she still collect them?"

Lirim: "Probably. Some of em got published in a book about the same thing. Y'all want a copy?"

Charles: "I'd love one!"

Bronwyn: "Absolutely, I would, too. And ye're both welcome to my letters if I ever find them."

Mason/Rory: The children kept their energy for only four blocks before becoming distracted with their sugary treasures, talking to each other, and complaining of the cold. Despite the chilly wind, Rory, for the first time, refused a piggy-back ride from his father. Not in front of company! But he would ask to make smores, and for hot chocolate with pumpkin marshmallows.

Charles: Charles gently tugged on one of Cynthia's braids, holding out a hand for Rory's empty wrappers. "Done with trick-or-treating already? We can head back, if you'd like. Or home?"

Bronwyn: "I'm with Rory, smores and hot chocolate sound really good right now."

Bronwyn bent to pin back Aedan's hair to keep it out of his eyes. The wind was wreaking havoc with those curls.

"What do ye want, lovey?"

Mason/Aedan/Cynthia/Rory: "Can I have hot chocolate?" Aedan looked to his mother hopefully.

Cynthia was ready for warmth; Rory was ready for a chocolaty feast, which also translated to home.

Mason turned his son around, patted his back. "March."

Charles: "Back it is, then." Charles would not raise protest. He was always ready for warmth, but more importantly, this evening was about the children. "Did you enjoy yourselves?"

Bronwyn: She smiled and nodded. "Aye, but ye have to promise me to drink all the tonic I make ye first, okay?" Being part werewolf, Aedan's sensitivity to chocolate was always something they had to be aware of. Luckily, it was mild enough that with the right magical precautions, it didn't hinder him from enjoying it completely.

"Did ye get a good candy haul?"

Lirim/Mason: Mason watched in mild amusement as the children spoke at once, bedding down the urge to correct what was quickly becoming rising voices as they compared candy and bargained chocolate versus everything else.

"Gimmie a Twix before ya give em all away, child," said Lirim.

Charles: Charles slipped his hand into his husband's, similarly allowing the children to enjoy themselves without scolding, on such an evening. "Are we going to the party, or turning in for the night? If not, I'll ring Ro and let her know."

Bronwyn: Bronwyn laughed at the chorus of excited voices. Oh yes, it had definitely been a good haul this year. "Aye, a Twix for daddy and a cherry Jolly Rancher for yer mama."

Lirim/Mason: "We'll go t'the Moon if ya want," Mason said. The mask was removed once reaching their street. Placed on Rory's head, grinning at his son's scowl.

Lirim unwrapped his candy and stuffed the wrapper in his pocket. A quick cheers with Bronwyn before popping the whole thing into his mouth.

Charles: That face! He turned to kiss it, briefly. "Oh, yes. A trip to the moon is definitely in order. Perhaps for Christmas."

He spotted the empty cauldron that told of their arrival and laughed. "Gone, already! I hope at least some of the little kids got candy." Charles had a bag stashed at Mason's, just in case they were around if trick-or-treaters dropped by.

Bronwyn: She cheers-ed Lirim back with her Jolly Rancher and took Aedan's hand, continuing to discuss his candy and how cherry was clearly the superior fruity candy flavor.

The empty cauldron had her grinning from ear to ear. "That didn't take long at all!" she chuckled. "If that James Dean kid took his chance, it'll be the only one he gets. Candy's bein' handed out personally now that we're back. But first, tonic and hot chocolate. Ev'ryone take yer wrappers to the trash."

Lirim/Mason: "Make yourselves at home," Lirim smiled, dropped his hat as soon as they were in the door. Easily made a mess again with a quick swipe of his hand. "Pretty much a mirror image, right?" More colorful than the sharp white and neutral palette next door.

Something paused Mason in the doorway.

"Gonna have'ta get rid of that," he hummed, "'less ya wanna take my head off."

Lirim seemed dumbfounded for a moment before it clicked, eyes widening. "Right. Two sec." The many wards placed by - no matter. He'd assumed they'd faded, and then forgotten them completely.

"Bronnie, ya remember which board it was?"

Charles: His eyebrows vanished behind chestnut fringe for a moment. "No, we can't have that. I do prefer you with your head attached, dearest." And he'd stick by his husband's side until the wards were lifted.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn had forgotten them as well, mostly because she'd placed so many of her own.

"It's the one with the scuff mark from my high heel. Three boards to the right o' the bookshelf."

Lirim: "Got it." He'd almost got up for the kitchen, for a butter knife, before remembering his own damn abilities and pulling up the board with gentle coaxing from his hovering hand.

"There it is," he sighed. An unassuming brown bag no bigger than his palm.

"Is this really a ward, or a charm? I forget the damn lingo."

Charles: Charles gave Mason's hand a gentle squeeze. "Head safe? And the rest of your bits?"

Bronwyn: "It's a hex bag, they can be multipurpose. Let's put it somewhere out o' the way for now. I'll dispose of it properly later."

Lirim/Mason: "I'll put in the backyard." Seemed far enough, since being in the floorboard hadn't taken the demon's head living one wall away.

The children had already taken to the kitchen. Mason could hear gasps. A moment later seeing a fluffy white cat flee upstairs in a panic.

He held his hand out. A lack of static as Lirim excused himself to the back door. Fucking angels.

"Head's safe," he confirmed, stepping inside.

Bronwyn: "Don't scare Pancakes, lovies!" Well, one of them would be receiving a swipe at the ankle at some point this evening. Pancakes would require some soothing.

"Aye, verra much so. Sit, sit. What would ye like, what can I get ye?"

Charles: "Remember how it was with Frankie, in the beginning," he called to his children. "Be patient and don't harass the cat!"

He shook his head, fond, and took the offered seat. "I'm quite all right, darling. Thank you."

Lirim/Mason/Aedan: Lirim was laughing at the sight of Jude. The patient older tabby, accepting his fate in Aedan's arms, carried about with dangling legs.

"Y'all gonna say no t'some wine? What about some," what the hell was this, "pumpkin liqueur? When'd I get this? Was this you?" he asked Bronwyn.

Mason stood beside Charles for a beat, hand firm on the back of his neck, massaging. He separated long enough to find the children.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn looked at the label on the bottle. "Oh! Aye, it was me. I wanted to make an adult pumpkin spice latte. It was bloody good too. I want to try it in pumpkin pie."

Charles: "I'll never say no to wine." A statement that was perhaps a little too true. "Or pie."

Lirim/Aedan: "I do have a chocolate... mud... pie... thing. S'got some cake crumbled on top like dirt and -"

"GUMMIES!" Aedan shouted. "Mama! Can I - Can we have some?"

Bronwyn: "Let me make yer tonic first, then ye can have some. It won't take long, promise." She didn't want an upset stomach ruining his Halloween.

Luckily, she kept all the ingredients on hand and was able to get it going fairly quickly. "Do ye want me to mix it in water or in juice?"

Charles: "Sounds interesting. I can't say I've ever tried that before." But chocolate was chocolate. He reached out for the minds of his family. Where had they gotten off to?

Mason/Aedan: "Apple juice, please." Better manners around company, Lirim noted to self. That was usually the case.

The children had surrounded the cat tower and released Jude, who took to cleaning himself just out of reach at the top. The children were bored within moments.

"Put y'all's candy on the table. We'll go through em," said Mason, casting a quick glance to Lirim. Chocolate pie and red wine. This was turning into an absolute gem of an evening, Lirim thought.

Bronwyn: "Okay, I'll mix it with apple." She kissed the top of his head and got a jar. Time was she would've gotten a bowl and whisked everything together but shaking it until it was mixed was easier. And faster.

Speed was of the essence today.

A few herbs, a few mysterious liquids, and a little magic later, Bronwyn was pouring her concoction into a cup of juice and handing it to Aedan. The tonic made it take on a curiously orange color but the taste wouldn't be altered too much. It would be as if some strong, unsweetened tea had been added to it.

Charles: Charles smirked, but left them to their piles of sweets. Lectures about cavities and thorough tooth-brushing could wait until bedtime. "Can I help with anything?" he asked their host.

Lirim: "If ya wanna help me cut up some pie?" offered between grunts of effort as he argued with a corkscrew and a rather large bottle of zinfandel. Last time he tried to pull a cork via telekinesis had resulted in both a broken cork and bottle. His patience was not made for such delicate work.

Charles: "I think I may be better suited to opening wine," he offered, laughing, and stood to lend a hand.

Lirim/Mason: "He has a gift," said Mason. "If there's alcohol, he can open it. No safe too secure, no lock too strong."

"In the case," Lirim offered the bottle. Corkscrew far too deeply embedded.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn left them to the wine while she got the hot chocolate going, keeping one eye on Aedan to make sure he drank all the juice.

"If that is indeed the case, then Charles, there's a bottle o' scotch in my pantry that seems to have been welded shut. Yer help would be appreciated."

Charles: "Hilarious." He fixed his husband with a very dry expression before turning his attention to the lodged corkscrew. "Goodness." It took a bit of coaxing, but Charles really was a magician of bottle-opening. With a triumphant grin, he set bottle and cork on the table a minute later. "I'd be happy to help, Bronwyn darling."

Lirim/Mason/Aedan: "Lucien been gone that long ya gettin' your whiskey stuck?" Lirim laughed. There were only two Fera in existence which didn't frighten him to his core. Lucien was family, as much as he had fought tooth and nail.

Aedan handed his cup to his father, ready for his hot chocolate.

Mason settled between his children at the glass table, stealing another PayDay for Charles, and a swirly lollipop to bite like a heathen for himself.

Bronwyn: "It hasn't been stuck as long as that," Bronwyn chuckled, putting all her tonic ingredients away. "I was makin' somethin' with it and I'm pretty sure some caramel got stuck in the threads o' the bottle that I forgot to wipe off." That was her theory anyway.

Charles: He had to wince. Could a demon chip a tooth? He didn't know, but it just wasn't right. 'Heinous.' He smirked at his husband before plucking the candy from his hand. "Thank you." He fiddled with the wrapper.

"Bit of warm water should do the trick, then," he said to Bronwyn. "At least, that's how I get syrup bottles open." He thought idly of how perfect a stack of pancakes would be.

Lirim/Mason: Lirim glanced Charles' way, wondering what it was he was borderline yearning for. Maybe he didn't want to know. Sexual desire seemed to just exude from the two of them. Inspiring, but he was grateful to not be telepathic.

Mason watched his husband with challenging eyes, taking another slow performative bite.

'Should see me with jawbreakers.'

"Ffffriggin' hungry," Lirim sighed, catching that particular word split second. "Who wanted pie?" A few small plates had been filled. Ones for the children half size.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn grinned at Lirim. Nice save, she mouthed to him.

"I'm pretty sure we all wanted pie. I definitely do, and that hot chocolate. Is there such a thing as too much chocolate in one sittin'?" Probably, but it was Halloween! It was a day for treats.

Speaking of.

"I need to go refill the cauldron for any more kids we get."

Charles: 'You're a madman.' He shuddered at the very thought, but the lightning flash of a grin gave away his amusement. He popped the little candy into his mouth and bent to give his husband the briefest of kisses. They were guests, after all. Manners make the man.

"Not in my opinion, but I'm hardly an authority. I can fill it, if you'd like. Or start on the hot chocolate?"

Lirim/Mason: "You'll have chocolate every day, but hell hath no fury if it's spicy."

Lirim looked up at the couple, impatiently chewing and swallowing before speaking. "For serious? What about a chocolate martini? Or a mudslide?"

Bronwyn: "No no, it's fine. I'll get the candy."

She went to get the bag, only to poke her head back in a few seconds later. "Are chocolate martinis bein' made? If so I want one!"

Charles: His nose wrinkled in undisguised distaste. "Of course not. Spicy chocolate is an abomination." Charles lifted a shoulder. "I don't mind a splash of bourbon in my hot chocolate."

Bronwyn: "What's this spicy chocolate ye keep mentionin'?" Bronwyn asked the room at large. "Spicy like chilies or spiced like mulled wine?"

Lirim/Mason/Rory: "I mean I want chile-chocolate melted n'put in my mouth," said Mason. "With cinnamon."

Rory's eyes lit up. That was exactly what he wanted.

"I got a habanero in the fridge?"

Charles: Ugh. Corrupting the children. "I'll settle for whipped cream, if you have it."

Bronwyn: "There's a sweet shop near my store that has all kinds of chocolate. I'll bet they have chile chocolate."

Lirim/Mason: "Still open?" Another PayDay was swiped from the pile, now divided into three among the children. Cynthia had traded most chocolate for bubble gum.

"That pastry shop?" Lirim asked. "Oh! I got uh, Cool Whip?"

Charles: "That'll do," he nodded. All this talk of peppers had him needing a balm.

Bronwyn: "No, no' that one, although I have been meanin' to go into that pastry shop. The sweets shop is in the opposite direction, next to that maternity store I shopped at when I was pregnant with Aedan."

Lirim/Mason: Oh fuck, the memories. Both Lirim and Mason were staring, and both looked away almost simultaneously.

"Hot chocolate with cinnamon, then. Chocolate dipped peppers when home." To the delight of their son.

Plates were each given forks, and a cabinet opened of its own accord, so it seemed. A pot floating to the stove.

Charles: Charles lifted an eyebrow at that little exchange but said nothing. He finally claimed a seat and a plate to go along with it.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn noticed it as well, and though she had a clue as to the cause, she filed it away to ask later.

And there was the doorbell.

"Candy time!" Off she went to hand out treats.

Lirim/Aedan: Aedan ran off to help his mama, and Lirim only glanced over his shoulder before looking back at the cocoa powder, milk, and small jar of cinnamon. As though he'd never made this before in his life.

"Thinkin' hot chocolate and a chocolate martini."

Charles: "Do--" He chewed and swallowed a mouthful of pie before making another attempt. "Do you need a hand?"

Lirim/Mason: Lirim slowly looked back with apologetic eyes. "Aedan drinks Ghirardelli with peppermint because God only knows why. I dunno how to do it up fancy."

Bronwyn: "He knows it's the superior combination," Bronwyn said as she returned with Aedan in tow. "Don't ye, lovely? Chocolate and peppermint all the way."

Charles: Charles stood, pushing his plate closer to his family in case any of them wanted to finish his barely-touched dessert. "It's hot chocolate, my friend. It hardly needs to be fancy." He took a place beside his host at the stove. He was no cook, but warm drinks were a skill he'd mastered. Enough milk for everyone was tipped into the saucepan to heat.

Lirim/Mason: Peppermint? Rory was making a face. One Aedan had made at the idea of spicy chocolate. Mason was smiling at Bronwyn.

"I don't do fancy, but I didn't figure y'all'd want the Aedan special," Lirim chuckled.

Bronwyn: Bronwyn just chuckled, returning Mason's smile as she bent to kiss his head.

"One of us wants the Aedan special," she said, taking a seat at the table. She'd probably end up standing to get the door many many times before the night was out but in between she wanted all the time she could get with everyone.

Charles: "Oh, well, no peppermint for me, thanks. I'm a cocoa purist." He leaned against the counter while he waited for the milk to heat.

Lirim: "Purists go first, then." He looked around the room. At this blend of two families. He never would have imagined something like this years ago. Couldn't even imagine his son. Sometimes he still couldn't get over it.

"Happy Halloween, y'all."

Bronwyn: Bronwyn caught Lirim looking around and smiled. She wondered what was going through his head but judging from his expression, it was only lovely things. As it should be at moments like this one.

"Happy Halloween indeed!" she said brightly as the doorbell summoned her once more.

Charles: "Fair enough." He lifted his head in the following silence. Charles, too, was curious, but not enough to go digging. His mouth curled into a smile and he nodded. "Hear, hear!"

[dakotafm]

        welcome  to  chatsworth  academy  ,  𝓭𝓪𝓴𝓸𝓽𝓪 𝓿𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮  .  it  says  here  ,  that  you  are  twenty  ,  in  second  year  and  that  your  parents  are  high  fashion  models  and  the  co  founders  of  the  valentine’s  hotel  chain  ?  is  it  true  high  school  you  were  voted  most  likely  to  be  asked  for  an  id  at  the  age  of  30  ,  well  ,  that’s  interesting .

greetings   cuties   !   i  literally   suck   at   introductions   so   i   apologize   for  this   ugly  mess  ,   asdfg   .    however   ,   i   am   so   excited   to   be   here   and   even   more   excited   to   be   bringing   you   dakota   !!!    before   we   start   though  ,   i’m   gi  !   i   go   by   she   and   her   pronouns   and   am   the   baby   age   of   nineteen  !    enough   about   me   though   asdf   ,   if   you   want   to   do   some   plotting   please  heart   this  or   message   me   on   discord   and  i   will   come   bother   you   :)

*   𝐎𝐍𝐄                         𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒  .

luscious   red   wine   staining   plump   petals   ,   avoiding   disapproval   under   black   rims   that   hide   reckless   tales   of   the   night   before   ,   collar   bones   decorated   by   diamonds   and   love   bites   ,   painted   fingertips   dancing   across   honeyed   skin   ,   whispers   of   dreams   lost   in   the   breeze   of   the  night   ,   bloodshot   hues   enchanted   by   the   rising   sun   ,   moonlight   encouraging   impulsive   decisions   ,    expectations   wrapping   a   collar   around   her   throat   and   tugging   every   time   she   plans   a   escape    .

*   𝐓𝐖𝐎                         𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

full   name.   dakota  jo  valentine  .  nickname(s).   ko  ,  kota   ,  dj  .   preferred   name.   dakota  .   past  age.   twenty  .   date  of  birth.   july  twenty  first  .  zodiac.    cancer  . gender.   cis  woman  .   pronouns.    she  and  her  .   sexuality.    bisexual  .   

*   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄                         𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐒  .

(  TRIGGER  WARNING  ::   car   accident   and   death   mention   )

the   words   you’re   trouble   lost   in   bronze   hues   that   had   stars   twinkling   in   them      ,    dismissed   by   digits   waving   to   say   she’s   just   the   baby   ;   she’d   run   wild   ,   footsteps   bouncing   off   of   the   million   dollar   walls   and   then   she’d   be   tamed   .     wrong  .    attempts   to   leash   the   boisterous   brunette   meet   with   retaliation   ,    disappointment   painted   across   authority   features   ,    and   new   words   that   asked   what   are   we   going   to   do   with   her  ?

not   a   disrespectful   kid   ,   just   one   of   sovereignty   ,    one   with   expectations   too   large   for   her   little   body   .     and   one   that   had   the   world   in   the   palm   of   her   hands   who  swore   to   the   heavens   above   that   she’d   suck   the   life   out   of   it   before   she   sits   properly   and   marries   the   thousands   of   hotels   that   had   her   name   and   her   three   other   siblings   name   craved   into   the   walls  .

had    comments   in   her   ears   from   the   moment   she   inhaled   her   first   breath   .   dakota   is   destined   for   eminence   .    dakota    is   nothing   like   her   sister   .    dakota   is   too   much   .   dakota   is   disobedient   .    dakota   is   ungrateful   .      dakota   is   selfish   .    didn’t   have   a   chance   to   figure   out   herself   on   her   own  terms   and   eventually   fell   to   the   knees  of   the   idea   that   she  was  simply   never   who   people   would   want   her  to  be  .    

her   dad   was   her   worst   enemy   ,    so   she   would   say   .   he   was   the   product   of   controlling   parents   and   carried   a   legacy   on  his  back   :   it   made   him   a   monster  .    true   to   the   cold  hearted   businessman   trope  .   you   did   as   he   said  ,   you   acted   as   he   said   ,   you   played   his   game   his   way   .    dakota   spent   most   of   her   teens   sneaking   out   of   her   bedroom   window   and   jetting   off   with   whomever   would   drive   her   dad   the   craziest   .   did   things   to   spite   him   .    the   tabloids   adored   her   for   her   outspoken  and   bold  ways   ...   but   they   also   tore   her   apart   at   every   chance   they   got  .    but   no   one   could   ever   top   her   father   ,   if   there   was   a   dakota   hate   training   riding   around   he   was   the  driver  .

her   mom   understood   her   in   ways   that   no   one   else   could   ,   behind   her   brother   of   course   ,     she   was   the   spitting  image   and   the   impetuousness  ,   the   adventurousness  ,    the   fire   that   burned   bright   was   handed   down   .     her   mother   was   her   world   ,    one   of   the   few   people   who   was   always   by   her   side   ,    the   mediator   ,    the   one   who   collected   all   her   tears   and   bandage   wounds   of   feeling   like   she   was   not   good   enough  .     and   then   her   mother   was   taken   by    a    snowy   road   and   a   tired   driver   who   closed   his   eyes   for   just   a   minute  .     

it’s   been   two   years   but   the   lost   of   her   mother   bleeds   like   the   knife   had   just   stabbed   her  .     her   relationship   with   her   father   worsen   ,    her   siblings   played   a   game   of   war   ,    and   she   was   still   doing   her  best   to   pick   up   the   broken   pieces   ....    not   fast   enough   though   .    her   grief   driving   her   to   do   unspeakable   things   (   crashing  her  fathers   bugatti   la   voiture   noire   ,   ruining   her   father’s   grand   opening   of   his   new   hotel   with   a   drunken   speech   and   a   big   fuck   you   )    .      he   could   not   handle   her   self   destructing   children   so   ,    he   sent   them   away   .    gave   them   the   simple   choice   of   chatsworth   academy   away   from   beverly   hills   ,   and   the   united   states   in   general   ,    or   be   cut   off   for   good  ...    disowned   .     with   a   little   bit   of   convincing   she   choose   a   fat   bank   account   and   trouble   overseas  .

*   𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑                        𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐒  .  

the   love   of   dakota’s   life   lays   within   a   paint   brush   and   a   blank   canvas  .   art   has   been   a   form   of   expression   for   the   brunette   for   as   long   as   she   could   remember  .    she’s   mostly   a   fan   of   portraits   ,    loves   drawing   facial   features   more   then   anything   but   loves   a   good   landscape   painting  as  well  .   though   she’s   capable   of   mostly   everything   and   want   as   far   as    giving   poke   tattoos   to   her   friends   her   senior   year   .  it’s   what   she’s   studying  .

she   took   up   soccer   in   middle   school   and   has   been   at   it   ever   since   ,   at   first   it   was   to   please   her   parents   ,    or    more   so   help   her   mom   out   (   or   as   her   father   would   say   give   her   something   to   do   other   then   get   in  trouble   )   but   eventually   became   quite   fond   of   the   sport   and   pursue   it   even   after   high   school   .  

she   has   three   older   siblings   ,   one   of   which   is   in   his   thirties   and   the   other   two   much   closer   to   her   age   .    she   does   not   get   along   with   her   sister   ,   at   all   .   some   would   say   different   personalities   but  dakota   will   tell   you   it’s   because   she’s   just   like   their   father    .   she  is   however   super   close   with   her   brother   who’s   only   a   year   older   then   her   ,   and   has   always   been   .    those   two   are   two   peas  in   a   pod   .

she’s   a   bit   all   over   the   place   ,    and   depending   on   how   much   you   know   her   she’s   either   the   light   of   your   life   or   a   pain   in   the   ass   (   okay   i   lied   ,   she’s   always   a   pain   in   the  ass   )   .     she’s   the   girl   who’s   always   making   the   stupid   decisions   ,     swears   she’s   untouchable   ,   is   loud   and   lively   but   just   as   dark   and   twisted   .  

she   might   fake   her   confidence   but   truth   is   she   swears   she’s   not   good  enough   and   it   affects   her   romantic   relationships   a   lot   .    self   sabotages   to   prove   her   point   .    

*   𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄                        𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒   .

a   group   of   friends   of    all   different   dynamics   who   are   more   like   family   then   anything  . 

a   unhealthy   somewhat   toxic   on   and   off   relationship  .

a   best   friend   or   more   so   platonic   soulmates   .

flirtationship   that   also   falls   into   a   will   they   wont   they   .

soccer   teammates   that   she   views   as   good   friends   but   some   who   she   bumps   heads   with   .

that   bad   influence   who   also   plays   into   the   label   of   partner   in   crime  .

ex   friends   and/or   ex   best   friends   .  

on   and   off   friendship   for   whatever   reason  .

*  literally   give   me   everything   and   anything   !!! 

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House: 11 Louds A Leapin Review or It’s My Bobby in a Box

Happy Holidays errybody! Christmas returns to this blog after a bit of a break to tie up some loose ends, and celebrate my birthday with a return to the loud house.  It’s honestly good to be back. While it can be a struggle to cover a pure comedy, I genuinely like the show a lot, even with it’s flaws i’ve gone into, and my regular reviews gave  me a running gag in my hatred of rusty and a new respect for the show. It’s just with a buiser schedule and me not actually trying to have something resembling order to things, I kept shoving Banned Together back despite really wanting to see it since.. you know.. Luna episode.. until it ended up sliding into ANOTHER set of episodes. It’s things like this why I have a queue now: while it’s not set day by day, in case I want to do more than one i na day, it is there to keeep some semblance of order and keep me on track so this dosen’t happen again.  So with all that being said.. why did I choose to do A DIFFRENT loud house episode for the second time in a row before getting back to the current season? Simple.. i’ve been putting this episode off personally for even LONGER. I meant to watch 12 louds a leapin back when it first came out at the start of season 2... and just never got around to it. And just kept never getting around to it, wanting to watch it at christmas but then forgetting to do so for the last 4 years. Spare a thought there.. 4 years. In that time 80 years have passed, an era of marvel movies have come to an end, a tick series has come and gone, She Ra has come and gone, ducktales premiered then annoucned it was ending.. my point is way too many shows are ending too soon, and i’ve let this slide for far too long. So I bumped this one up to finally take a look at it, as i’ve waited this long and didn’t want to risk missing it a fifth fucking time. So yeah i’m taking look at what’s probably a classic episode in the fandom with fresh eyes. Let’s see what I thought shall we? It’s Christmas Eve at the Loud House and Lincoln is once again Zach Morrising it up .

Not what I meant.. whatever that is. It’s been 30 years since that episode aired, probably a good 12 since I first saw it and I still have no idea why they did this or if it was giong to end in a three way before the girls showed up. We just don’t know and the greatest minds in the country are baffled.. and you know working on the vaccine and making sure it’s safe. 

No Linc is talking to the camera about it being christmas while gearing up to go sledding with his sled big red. Meanwhile the rest of the louds are doing their usual christmas activities which we get introduced to as Lincoln gets ready. The girls sub-plots here are, outside of Lori’s., less plots and more running gags, various shenanigans by the girls tying into their personalities and christmasy stuff. It works perfectly.. while it’s a bunch of gags.. the gags are funny and it’s neat to learn more about just how the girls celebrate christmas and what they get up to every year. It’s part of what’s to love about holiday specials as you get a once or twice in a series chance to see how our heroes celbrate the holiday and thus a look into stories, gags and character stuff very unique to the holiday. It also uses the fact LIncoln was the protaganist at the time very well, using him as our viewpoint to set up all the christmas goings on as he makes his way out of the house, so we can cut back to them later as his plot goes on. It’s really good stuff. So what are the girls up to? Let’s go down the list by age shall we?

Lori: Lori has the most involved plot anyway so it’s best to start here. Lori and Bobby are having their first christmas together... though it does bring up the fact that they’ve only been dating 2 years at most, yet plan to get married.. I mean that is a lot but your also 18. Then again time is nigh incomprehinsiable to unpack in the loud house, and at least 3 years passed in the one year it took to get them all aged up, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard.  Lori, still being in huge bitch mode as she was early on, pressures bobby to get a good gift. She later gets said gift but despite being told to open it immideitly, her siblings chide her on her habit of tearing presents open and thus get her not to open it. So that’s a runner through the special, with Lana even putting her on a leash at one point, which I found hilarious. Less hilaroius is the conclusion as it turns out in the box on christmas day.. is BOBBY, who understandably is not looking so good...

Thankfully bobby’s not dead or they all would be, but still the poor boy missed christmas eve with his mom  and sister for this stunt. I mean I get it’s his fault, he’s apparently LITERALLY too dumb to live it turns out and should’ve you know made a noise sooner and probably didn’t want to ruin the suprise.. but we still nearly got an episode where a 4 year old had surivviors guilt for letting her older sisters boyfriend suffocate in a box. That’s dead santa from gremlins levels of fucked up. Thankfully Lori loves it and I assume bobby’s worried family joined them for christmas eve. That image fills my heart with hope. But seriously bobby never again we can’t loose you. At least not before Sergio. 

Leni: Leni’s is very simple it’s just a running gag of her taking various christmas things, making them into outfits then saying shhhh to whoever’s around when she hears, or in later cases is right there, with the person asking. Just a funny bit.  Luna: Is working on a christmas song. It’s one of the weake runners as the failed songs just aren’t that funny, but the payoff for the main plot makes up for it. WE’ll get to that.  Luann: Has one of my faviorite bits, her 12 puns of christmas which is both really adorable and leads to an adorable moment with her dad. Always loved their relationship. 

Lynn and Lucy: Are teamed up this episode which makes me genuinely miss how the two would be used as a pair ocasionally earlier on but just .. arne’t anymore> The rest of the girls status as roomates is used liberally but not so much these two. IT’s just weird and disheartning to me. That being said their plot is simply the two digging around to find where the presents are hidden, which I never got as why would you want to know weeks ahead of time. You can’t use any money to buy the stuff you dind’t get or they’ll know and they usually figure out you knew ahead of time and it just brings thigns down. But from a kid’s perspective I guess I get it and while it’s weird to have Lucy be one of the ones following I like it, as it shows that benath her gothy demanor she’s still just an 8 year old girl excited for christmas, and that’s adorable. A decent enough runner. 

Lana: Gets  a good one: She keeps accidently catching people, and a passing car in one case though she has a jack to help, in her reindeer traps. Its not only funny but really adorable especially since she dosen’t care about trapping SANTA persay, she just wants her own pet reindeer and frankly who wouldn’t want a rideable woodland critter who can fly. Dammit now i want one too. 

Lola and Lisa: Lola gets a fairly standard one tha’ts still pretty damn funny; She wants to get offf the naughy list by playing good for a day. What makes it funny is that last part.. that instead of doing it over a few days like most of this plot she’s trying to cram it all into one day while also trying not to strangle Lisa, who keeps showing up to say santa’s route is impossiuble. As ducktales covered he slows down time.. also you know.. not every kid celebrates christmas so ther’es probably a good number of houses he dosen’t have to cover in one night.  Lily: Just randomly pops out of stockings a bit. it’s precioous as it sounds.  The Parents: It had honestly been so long both since i’d seen a season 1 episode, and since the two had been both given actual names and fleshed out considerably, that i’d forgotten Rita and Senior had their faces obscured for all of season 1. It’s REALLY weird and jarring to go back to after getting to know them as fully formed people of their own over the past 3 seasons, and especally gorowing to love Senior, as he’s a loveably goofy dad but without the incompetence of most comedy dads. He can bumble but he’s also genuinely supportive, talented and pulls his weight in his marriage and family.  We do however start to really see their fully formed , full member of the cast perosnalities here: Rita is clearly tired from the sheer amount of shit she has to juggle, but is also nice and warm and while Lynn Sr.’s goofiness was established already, here it’s tempered into his current shape and his love of cooking and through role as the family chef is established. While he was established as cook earlier he goes from someone who’d use frozen food just to get by to a master chef who probably does use a lot of frozen stuff but can make anything taste good and will eventually have his own restraunt. It’s really fascenating to see them slowly emerge. They don’t really have plots themslves, and Lynn’s only real gag is wanting everyone to try his figgy pudding. 

So with the rest of the family covered let’s get to our main plot. Lincoln is sledding.. on the slide out back.. for some reason. 

The reason is simple.. his sled ends up in the yard of Mr. Grouse, their neighbor and old man who yells at louds. Lincoln explains grouse keeps everything that ends up in his yard and has taken a lot from the Loud Kids over the years. So lincoln.. uses the slide to sled.. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS YARD. 

I’ve been wanting to use pigtail kim since I made that one recently. But her points stands. What?!. I mean Lincoln can be stupid, he’s  only 12 it’s allowed, but usually more out of not realizing what he’s getting into or using kid logic. He’s not this brain dead. That’s Leni’s job. It just feels like plot contrivance. Just have him build some sort of contraption as a makeshift hill and tell the audience he’s doing this because his family dosen’t want him going to an actual hill on christmas or is too busy to take him. There are easier ways than this half assed rube goldberg machine of a setup. So naturally his sled ends up in the yard.. and he calls on Clyde to help....

Now if you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know that reactoin is normally reserved exclusivley for this guy. 

But since Rusty was in his larval state with only a few apperances and hadn’t emeerged from his coocoon as the douche I know and love to take pot shots at, there was actually something WORSE. Something more obnoxious. And with far far worse implications. And that my friends was seasons 1 and 2 Clyde.  Clyde in the early seasons CAN be fine, and the self we know now. In fact I wish he interacted with the sisters more as the slumber party episode early on gave him a nice dynamic with all of them and the episode with him and leni was terrific. The problem one there was running gag with him, one character trait that utterly sucked the joy out of the room at best and made him into an unlikeable little shit at worst; HIs crush on Lori.  When she’s around at BEST he has a Master Roshi nosebleed, stammers her name and passes out, something that wasn’t funny the first time and quickly became grating the 80 other times they did it. But at worst, as he is here? He’s creepy, obessevie and worst of all. .a real dick to bobby. Who as we’ve established is...

So that was NEVER going to go over well and even ignoring that is still very bad. The little creep just constantly treats Bobby with hostility, which given this is Bobby, he dosen’t realize is going on. Any time their relationship is threantned Clyde’s main goal is to swoop in during the aftermath and win lori over. He constantly wants Bobby out of the way, The ONE TIME he dosen’t come off as a massive dick is when Lincoln thinks Bobby might be cheating, and that’s because Clyde isn’t planning on swooping into the wrecakge of someone’s relationship to get a girlfriend, but to punch the guy out for cheating on her. Bobby wasn’t and Clyde obviously isn’t capable of that, but it’s a bit more understandable and even CLYDE wants to make sure there’s evidence first. But more often than not he’s just under the assumptino Lori will be his despite the massive age gap, her having made it obvious she’s not intrested, and her being in  longterm relationship she’s really happy in with someone else. And this was season 1 lori who reacted to this, so the fact she’s not being the queen of all bitches about it only makes him look that much worse. And to add to that, Bobby not only KNOWS he has as crush on Lori but is suppportive of clyde, cheering him on when she kisses him once for doing something noble, and generally treating “Clydsdale” like he would any of Lori’s blood siblings. It was excurating then to sit through this every few episodes.. and it’s even worse now because the gag’s complete dissaperance from Season 3 onwards really paints the picture that this gag was entirely because series creator Chris Savino thought this was FUNNY and no one else did. And given he got fired for, you know, HARASSING WOMEN  AND NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER  you kinda see how an already bad bit was made worse. So yeah while the sled thing is bad this.. is objectively worse and drags the special down more. It’s thakfully not omniprescent but man is it hard to watch.  Clyde being in full dickhead mode is trying to get a kiss from lori and is using a missletoe hat for it.. And can we just agree that while Missletoe can be used well in stories, to help two shy people finally kiss or to ramp up romantic tension or what have you, that it’s often used by creepy douchebags to get kisses they don’t deserve both here and presumibly in irl before the plauge hit? We can? Good. But yeah that’s his plot, no suprise he gets one, bah hum bug. He also throws in some Bobby bashing by fantasising about him ending up in the yard and clyde ending up with lori since Grouse keeps bobby.. even though instead Lori would just ignore clyde, storm over there and rip an old man’s spine out mortal kombat style. 

So yeah Lincoln wants his sled back, but he can’t do it alone as the old man scares him, hence Clyde coming in. They make an elaborate plan using some careful blueprints. 

Their real plan is to have Clyde disract grouse while Lincoln grabs the sled but it fails and mean mr mustard finds it and takes it inside. Desperate, Lincoln prepares to do some crimes and head into his house. Clyde is afraid he’l end up in jail and never get to visit because only family can. Clyde you are family. Plus Prison visits aren’t limited to relatives only, any show with a character in jail storyline will tell you that. But Lincoln makes a valid point that Grouse stole his property.. I still dont’ think this is the right way to handle it and his parents should just go over and ask the loud, irate asshole to give the kids stuff back he stole to be a dick, but this is a kids show and again we wouldn’t have a plot but unlike last time my head dosen’t hurt from this. He’s desperate, he knows that probably wouldn’t work and again he’s 12. 12 year old logic is fine.  Naturally he ends up getting caught as Grouse didn’t leave for long, though having found a photo of Grouse with a sled as a kid, understandably fires back on him that he wasn’t always like this. Why he like this. He also has the much farier point that again, it’s his property and “My yard my rules” is about as much a legal rule as a note saying “I can do what I want, ron”. But Grouse understandably, hey he’s a dick but the boyd id be and e, makes him clean up and after Grouse fails to get the loud parents Lincoln, via a comination of a charming family photo and Grouse talking to his sister on the phone, finds out the real reason he acts like this: He misses his family and being on a fixed income can’t visit them often as he tells his sister he won’t be home for christmas to see his sprawling family. 

And while it doesen’t excuse his actions.. it does explain why Grouse is so bitter: you would be too if you had a massive family who clealry loved you and your on good terms with.. but through no fault of your own and presumibly despite working hard toa fford retirment you just.. can’t see them. Their there and you have the phone, but you don’t know how to work the internet and it’s just.. not the same as seeing them. Your just seperated from them and can’t be near them or hear their voices or get hugs. Which.. given the current pandemic i’m sure MANY of you can relate to that.. to being seperated from your loved ones and trapped, and especailly many people mr grouses age are facing that. While this special is good even without the context of seeing it this year it especailly resonates and i’m glad I waited this long simply beaause it came at just the right time. Grouse tells him to leave not planning on calling his parents.

So in christmas special fashion, Lincoln is touched byt his story, and feels bad for the old curmudgeon. Sure they don’t get along and the bastard broke his sled.. but again you’d be bitter too in his shoes. The guy has nothing and is alone.. and Grouse has done nothing to deserve that, even with his actions resulting from it. No one should be alone on christmas.  So Lincoln tells his sisters, all of whom rally around him, including Luna whose writer’s block is broken as she finally realizes... 

And not singing about that was holding her back. Luna has her song and Lincoln, as expected has a plan.  And we soon see that plan as Grouse gets a knock on the door.. and finds the Louds, parents included, and The McBrides all there singing him a christmas song. It’s pretty decent and the first time we really get to see Nikka Futterman sing and i’ts beautiful> Ther’ed be better, and worse luna songs to come but this is still pretty neat and sweet. THey came to offer him deocrations, dinner, company.. and a one way bus ticket to his family... presumibly the family will pay the other way or he can easier the day after christmas. Point is he’s touched, and genuinely and sincerly thanks them and invites them in, with Grouse’s actor John DiMaggio REALLY selling it hard. 

So our heroes gather for Christmas Eve all together, and under Grouse’s roof with Grouse giving the kids their stuff back having had a change of heart. Sure he misses his family.. but the Louds and Mc Brides have shown him he dosen’t have to shut everyone out as a result. And while Grouse apologizes tht his sled is gone.. Lincoln’s fine with it he got something better.  So the next morning we end on the kids opening presents, and Lori saving her boyfriend from axphisxiation, seriously between this and strife of the party i’m really starting to sour on lana. Regarldess Lucy finally belivies in santa both due to gifts nd seeing him last night, while Lincoln finds a sled from santa.. and then goes outside to see Mr Grouse off, recognizing he’s the one who played santa in  a really sweet and senitmental bit. The two part on good terms even if Lincoln breaks another window. Things have changed if not that much.  Final THoughts:  If it wasn’t obvious, I REALLY loved this one. While it has it’s flaws, and Chris Savino sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms obviously.. it’s still a really sweet, well constructed special and I really recommend checking it out. It’s on the nick app if you have cable and on CBS All Acess if you have that. Until next time merry christmas to all and to all a good day. 

And if ther’es an episode of the loud house you’d like me to review leave it in the comments or you can comission a review of it for five dollars. Just direct message me to work out the details or send an ask for my discord. 

[yespolkadotkitty]

Breathless, pt 11

Part 10 here

The moon hung, heavy, waxy in the sky, as you watched Conrad check and load two weapons.

“Where did you get those?”

He smiled over at you, his gaze enigmatic. “If you know where to look, who to ask, it’s not so hard.”

The man was a master of understatement.

He offered you what looked, to your untrained eye, like the sort of handgun they used in spy films.

“This is a Glock. Do you know how to shoot?”

You took it carefully, looking at it like it might bite you. “Uh… point and pull the trigger?”

His lips curved, a little. “Aim, too.”

You chuckled; he was lifting the mood again, curling the fear out of you a little, bending it so it didn’t bite so much. “Yes, Sir.”

His gaze darkened ever so slightly, and you thought, pulse kicking up, I’ll dig a bit deeper into that if we survive whatever happens now.

You both dressed quickly, leaving surplus belongings in the room. You’d come back for them, if you were able.

Conrad pulled you in for a quick, hard kiss by the door, and you drank him in, your fingers tangling in his short, thick hair, your tongue dancing with his. You spread your arms over his back, hugging him tightly, trying to compress the feel of his lean, solid warmth into your muscle  memory.

When he let you go, you saw sadness in his gaze.

“Whatever we find, we’ll still have each other?” he asked, cupping your chin.

“Always.” You had no idea how he would fit into your life, but you would make any sacrifice for it to happen. To have him would be to need little else.

You left the little hotel. All was quiet; the ferry didn’t run this time of night. Animals chattered in the darkness as you passed a fast food outlet with a few tourists milling around outside, drinking beer. The moon shone down as you crossed the bridge together, the temple illuminated by small floodlights by the pillars, likely places for tourists who came by in the evenings or early in the morning.

The steps to the temple were wide, not too steep. Conrad held up a hand, and you recognised him put on what you thought of as his game face. Eyes like a hawk, all senses alert. He crept up the steps to where the huge, heavy wooden doors, ornately painted, stood open. The darkness yawning between them like a tomb.

Your own heartbeat sounded loud in your ears as you followed Conrad up the steps. The courtyard through the huge, ornate doors waited, empty. At the right side a little gate had been left ajar. Conrad jerked his head towards it, silent. You nodded agreement. The night here was so still, like a heavy cloak, you were almost afraid to breathe out.

You both slipped through the gate. The Glock felt heavy, tucked into the waistband of the back of your jeans. You hadn’t been sure where else to put it, where it wouldn’t be completely obvious. Maybe it was, anyway, as you weren’t used to firearms.

Neither was your kid brother. Or was he?

Beyond the gate, more steps led to a smaller temple. You looked up. Conrad held up hand up, fist clenched. 

“I see movement,” he whispered.

Your stomach freewheeled for a moment.

“Ready?” he asked.

You nodded, although you had no idea what would greet you.

In the end, your worst fears both were and were not realised. In the smaller temple, Ben and Trish sat on one of three low wooden benches. Ben stood when you entered the doorway, his hair tousled. A few days’ worth of stubble hugged his jaw, and he looked so much like your dear, departed father that a sob escaped your lips.

Conrad glanced at you, concerned.

A few days ago, you’d have run into Ben’s arms, held him tight, cried for his safety. Now you stood stock still. 

He looked…. Fine. Not trapped or co-erced.

Wearing a Malay tie-dye dress, Trish smiled coldly.

“Hey, sis,” Ben said, his tone flat. “You can call off your attack dog.”

Anger rose inside you at his words. “I don’t think I will, yet. Why all this cloak and dagger stuff?” you demanded. 

You let your gaze trail over him in the darkness. He was still your brother, and yet… not. A stranger clothed in your brother’s body, speaking with Ben’s voice.

“Why do you think?” he asked, lazily.

You had the feeling that the rug was about to be pulled from under your feet. “I really don’t know, Ben,” you hissed, struggling for calm. “I’ve wasted a lot of money, trying-”

“Money! It’s always about money with you, isn’t it?” He exploded, eyes shooting daggers. “And control of it.”

Trish glared silently.

You opened your mouth and shut it again, speechless. Finally you asked, “What? If you needed money, I’d have given it to you.”

“Would you? I get an allowance. Like a child. You control it, and me. I’m a grown man, I don’t need to be kept like a dog on a leash by my sister,” he seethed.

What? It was late, you were tired. “I don’t..”

“Of course you don’t, you stupid bitch. Mom and Dad doted on you. The super smart, pretty first child. Left everything to you, left you in control of what I did. I had to go to Harvard to get the allowance, had to do everything by the book, while you got to run free.”

You listened, aghast. “But Dad’s will… that wasn’t anything to do with me, Ben.”

“The hell it wasn’t! You all wanted me to be the perfect image of a well mannered, polite little rich boy, without my own free will. I want to be truly free.”

You glanced at Trish. Had she orchestrated this? It was hard to say. 

“Why lure me here?”

“I had to get you away from all of it.” He gestured to Trish and she slid a small laptop out of a canvas bag. “Make you see sense. I just want freedom, sis. To be myself, with Trish. Money would help.”

Trish opened the laptop and tapped a few buttons.

“Just transfer some of the Trust fund to me.”

You gaped, then shut your mouth, hearing the click of your teeth. “I…. I can’t.”

Ben glanced across at Trish.

“Of course you can,” she snapped. 

“No, I really can’t.” Your hands itched to reach for the gun, but what good would it do? “What’s this about, Ben?”

He sighed dramatically. “You think it’s easy? To live in your fucking shadow? Dad’s shadow? To be told at Harvard - oh, your father would’ve known how to behave. Your father would have done it like this. I’m not my father!”

He roared the last bit, and tears burned the back of your eyes. “I miss him too, Ben. But you can’t just escape-”

“Yes, I can. Trish and I are going to have big adventures where no one cares who my father was or what my last name is. I can be free of his judgement.”

Your heart pounded. “You can’t know-”

“I know that you took over after they died. Did everything. Poor Ben, Ben is so sad, he needs help-”

“You did need help!” you shout back. “Anyone would have!” Any reservations you might have had about Conrad seeing your family drama play out had disappeared with your fears for Ben’s mental health. “Just take a step back, Ben. Please. I can help.”

“I’ve had enough of your help,” he quavered, pulling a gun from the back of his own cargo pants. Your heart just stopped. “Just do it.”

“I can’t. You can have all my money-”

“I want mine!” he snapped, the gun wavering. 

“Ben,” Conrad began. “Losing loved ones is very hard on anyone, let alone losing a parent.”

“Shut up!” His hair and eyes wild, Ben shook the gun. “What do you know? You’re just a rottweiler for hire.”

Conrad stood perfectly still, not rising to the bait.

Trish took the laptop down to you, holding it out. “It’ll take seconds.”

Your heart jumped. Sweat trickled down the back of your neck. “I really can’t. I want to help you, Ben, but-”

“You’re just like Dad!” he shouted. “He wanted to help. But what happened? He left you in charge.”

“What are you not telling me?” you asked, your voice low, but carrying across the near-silent temple floor.

“I told Dad I wanted to be free. Didn’t want to go to Harvard. Wanted to explore for a few years. He said I should be more like you. Responsible. Make something of myself. But I was sick of living in your shadow.”

Your stomach sank like a stone. “Did you….”

He laughed, a hollow sound. “Did I kill them? Fuck, no. I loved them. But they didn’t understand me. I’m not a lawyer, or a congressman. I just want to be free. And then their deaths sealed my fate. I wouldn’t get any money unless I graduated.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I’m failing, okay? I can’t make the grade. And Dad’s lawyer came to tell me there’d be no trust fund money in three years’ time unless I graduate.”

Oh. You hadn’t known that. “You can have my money.”

Ben’s gun hand stopped shaking for a moment. “Another handout from you? Wouldn’t that make you happy?”

“No, Ben, it wouldn’t,” you sob. “I don’t have access to the funds. I really don’t.”

He lifted the gun, and you realised that he was probably having a fully fledged nervous breakdown. Did Trish know? Was she using it? Had she known all along?

“Please, don’t make me do this. If I die, you don’t get anything.”

He smiled grimly. “Surely if you die, I’m the sole heir.”

Oh, God.

You held a hand out.

“If you pull that trigger, I will put a bullet in you,” Conrad told Ben, voice eerily calm.

“It’ll be over, either way,” Ben said softly, his eyes wet.

Everything happened at once. Two shots, Ben’s body on the ground, Trish’s, too. The laptop screen shattering into a thousand shards. And Conrad shouting.

****

You came to in a stark white hospital bed, your vision blurry. When you blinked, clearing it, you saw Conrad sitting next to you. You jerked fully awake.

“Ben! Ben?”

“He’s alive,” Conrad told you softly.

The hospital room smelled of antiseptic and fresh, sea air.

“We’re in Kuala Lumpur,” he added.

“What happened?”

“Easy. You’ve got a concussion from where you fell. You’ll hardly believe this, but it seems that Bill grew a conscience from when I saved his life. He’d had us followed. When Ben pulled the trigger, I jumped at him, pushing him in time for the shot to go wide and hit Trish. It only grazed her arm. She’s in another room. You fell back on to the stone floor. A second later, Bill and two of his…. Associates arrived in the temple, and thank Christ they did, as three of us needed medical attention.”

You breathed in deeply. “He’s not well, Conrad.”

“I quite agree. I’ve had a long chat with Trish.”

You winced on Trish’s behalf, angry with her, but knowing that a chat with Conrad would have been fairly terrifying. “And?”

“She’ s harmless. Along for the ride, and the wealth. A groupie,” he said sadly. 

Your heart ached. “I think a long visit with a doctor is on the cards for Ben. Does he hate me?”

“If he does, you’ve done nothing to deserve it,” Conrad reassured

“How was Bill involved?”

“Ben promised him a big cut of whatever you transferred,” Conrad growled. “I guess in a way, following us was, in his mind, protecting an investment.”

Tears burned your eyes. “Oh, Ben. I should have paid more attention.”

Conrad soothed you, kissing your forehead. “You only loved him. What he did with that was his business.”

You lay back on the pillows. “All that’s left now is to go back and pick up the pieces of my life. I guess.”

Conrad stroked your hair back. “Our life, I rather hope?”

Love bloomed in your chest. “I don’t know how we’ll fit together, Conrad. Do you?”

He stood up from the chair and pulled something from his pocket. A little piece of card. He unfolded it to reveal a single pressed flower from the Botanical Gardens, the stem long. As you watched, confused, he took your hand and tied the long, soft stem around your ring finger. His blue eyes lit with mischief. “I don’t have all the details yet, love. But I hope you’ll let me spend a lifetime figuring them out with you.”

THE END.

Thanks to @hopelessromanticspoonie​ for the beta!!

And thanks to EVERYONE for coming on this journey with me. I hope the ending was OK.

Tagging: @just-the-hiddles​ @lotus-eyedindiangoddess​ @peacope​ @lady-loki-ren​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @amarisyousei​ @jessiejunebug​ @villainousshakespeare​ @arch-venus25​ @myoxisbroken​ @xxloki81xx​ @wiczer​