#the idiots.... theyre so dumb (affectionate)

[forthedancingandthethriving]

(Remember that post a while back about the Admins tasting like certain foods and the only way to know was for their partner to kiss them with tongue? Yeah well now imma WRITE ABOUT IT)

"You have to crack at some point!" Umbra huffs dramatically as he flops against Manifest's desk, who glances at him, amused. "What does Emulator taste like??"

"That sounds bad out of context, I hope you realize." Manifest looks back at her command box.

Umbra pauses before his face scrunches up. "Oh. Oh yeah. That's.. hm."

"What are you bothering her about now?" Buffer asks as she walks up, CPU and Lag walking with her. Crash and Antivirus were trailing behind, discussing something.

"Emulator's taste, yknow?" Umbra shrugs.

"Gross." Abyssal narrows her eyes as she pops up next to him.

"What the fuck?!" He screeches, punching her in the stomach.

"Oh you, BITCH-" She wheezes as she falls.

"DOWN FOR THE COUNT." Antivirus chuckles as he and Crash walk up.

"What's the betting pool right now?" Buffer asks as she turns her head to CPU.

He pulls up a file. ".. it's a tie between cotton candy & lemon and bubblegum & ... yellow starburst."

"Wonderful." Lag remarks, placing a hand on his hip. "Are either of those choices close?"

Manifest only lets out a hum, continuing to work on the devices in front of her. Umbra groans at that before standing up, tugging up Abyssal as he does so.

"Well, then what's your taste?" Umbra looks at Abyssal.

She only grins. "What, wanna find out?"

That earns her another punch to the stomach, sending her crumbling back to the floor.

"At this point, just knock her unconscious." Crash crosses his arms.

Umbra's eyes dart to Crash, and he holds up his hands. "Lemon and cherry. Weird combo, I'm well aware."

Buffer hums. "Pomegranate."

"Pomegranate?" CPU raises an eyebrow, looking at her.

She nods. "Pomegranate."

"Weird as hell." He snorts.

"Oh yeah?" Buffer punches his shoulder. "Then what's your flavor, asshole?"

"Very sweet strawberry." Lag answers with a hum, a small smirk on his lips upon seeing CPU's cheeks flush red.

"That'd be a good guess.." The couple both blink. "But I dunno, he seems more like a pink starburst flavor."

"Ping is no doubt watermelon."

"OBVIOUSLY."

Lag exhales, reminiscent of a chuckle, as he leans against CPU. "These idiots.." he mutters.

CPU shakes his head, dragging a hand down his face, muttering. "I swear I'm going grey."

"Silver fox." Lag hums softly. He chuckles softly, seeing CPU blush more.

[sonippep-hohu]

I know it's the aesthetic of Peppino being crabby with who he's shipped with and that's great but I support ppl who also make him silly goofy melty affectionate

[marooncookie]

y'know what. you're all viewing this everyone deserves to see wholesome dave and bambi moments don't tag as a ship if you ship them romantically pleas ..... tagging as ship if it's interpreted as qppr is fine tho image text below the cut

dave gets sick, bambi is worried about his health the entire time lol. and dave's just chilling (or trying to with the constant sniffling and coughing) and bambi comes in with a bowl of soup. "here. i made you this." he says as he hands it to dave. dave is... skeptical. bambi's not exactly a bad cook per say, what he makes is edible (to him at least, because the amount of corn he puts in everything could probably kill a man), but dave tries it and realizes. oh. "this is actually really good?" dave exclaims. "you sound surprised." bambi says. "well, no offense, but i think most people would probably collapse and die if they ate as much corn as you do." dave replies, eating another spoonful of soup. bambi shuffles. "well, i figured it might be good to like, look up stuff that helps with being sick, and um. y'know." he gestures vaguely, seeming a little bashful. dave gives him a playful look. "aw, you do care about me!" bambi blinks, not quite getting the whole teasing part of that statement. "well of course i do, you dumb idiot." the insult tacked onto the end of that statement somehow managed to sound affectionate. dave ponders his soup, and a smile creeps on his face. a genuine one, for once. "really though, thank you, bambi." he says, happiness evident in his voice. bambi tugs at his hat a little, though he's smiling too. "eh, it was no big deal..." he mutters. even after dave finishes the soup (which seriously was really good, what the hell) he's still touched by the gesture. he never doubts his friendship with bambi, even with his aggressive outbursts, but it's times like this that really make dave 100% sure that he made a good choice by being bambi's friend. IM SO NOT NORMAL. OOGHOHGHGH THEYRE SO (incomprehensible noises)

[himbos-hotline]

From the specifc questions, (im on mobile so i can't copy the full things sorry) so, about Jay

7, 16, 31, 37, 56

:)

7). What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

Me it would probably be their full name because a few rare people actually know their name before zem changing it, they still feel coneccted to their name but not as a "thats me" kinda way. Kinda in a nostalgic reason

for romantic partners it would be some kinda dumb joke, apart from hanger who doesnt have to call anything because he just, finds them spontaniously and picks zem up like a bad of potatoes

best friend is totally mox just going "hey ASSHOLE!" and then waiting for Jay to scream back "shut up dickward!"

16). What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

a very small list: - authority figures -idiots on the bus who call/ring the bell more than once - kenny [affectionately] -people arguing with service workers - cops [this is also argue with out loud, Jay Orton says ACAB, fuck the police and steal their handcuffs]

31) When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

Medical school. Not only failing at it but having the breakdown that ends up pushing them towards quitting/dropping out and leaving the old live he had behind. He feels guilty with Regal around that time too. Afterall, he raised her and she tried so hard and he put so much effort into him and zey failed zeir grandpa.She apologises so much and with Regals help, they deal with those feelings and he kinda carries the "youre gonna go far kid" not as a measuring stick for themselves but as a. whatever they do is far enough, and in that he can make people who care about him proud just by doing their

37) What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell?

there isnt much that Jay doesnt fell the people zey love. Theres very little that Jay really knows to keep as a secret. But a lot of is wishing to know hanger flinches slightly at the words "I love you" is it something that happened to him or something they did? Jay doesnt really have many secrets.

56) If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

Kenny. regardless of the fear. its kenny. Unless theyre having a meltdown and then its Jay isolating and either driving home or skateboarding just as far as they can

[liquidstar]

hi this is still going around and i kinda wanna clarify something for all the tags that are saying "omg character A would say this to character B because theyre a dummy <3"

first of all im all for blorbo tagging, especially with greek characters and headcanons! love that shit! go nuts! buuuut just in case anyone actually intends to use this in writing: SAYING "MORO MOU" IS NOT THE SAME AS ACTUALLY CALLING YOUR PARTNER A MORON!

when you use it in that context it really does just mean "babe/baby," no one who uses it would actively be thinking about how the old etymology would mean it technically means moron. that's more of just a funny fact. like, when we call our partners baby in english, we're not thinking about how it can also mean someone who's overly sensitive.

no one in modern greek really says moro to mean dumb anymore. its sort of clunky and weird to say. youre more likely to say "hazo" (stupid) or ilithio (idiot). which are also mean, like, dont call your partner that!

however, if you are writing a greek speaking character and want an alternative, i simply must introduce you to "re" (pronounced like "reh" not "ree") ill explain under the cut

see, the word "moro" becomes "more" (moreh) when directed at someone. this eventually became shorted to "re" which is a word that doesnt quite have an english equivalent.

its usually used as a prefix, you put it before someones name when referring to them (it only works in second person). for example, "re kosta, where are you going?" < this implies that the question is somehwat rhetorical, you think kosta is an idiot who doesnt know where he's fucking going. or "re stephano, cut that out!" < stephano is an annoying dumbass, "re" is being used to emphasize this fact.

so typically adding the "re" prefix to someones name is an insult, a shorthand way to make your statement more insulting, and just sort of refer to people disrespectfully in general. however in a friendly context, it can also show closeness- its casual and lighthearted. it doesnt imply stupidity so much as silliness, and can even be seen as positive. this can just sort of depend on tone. an example of the latter would be "re kristina, how have you been?" < this implies a casual atmosphere and general excitement to see kristina, "re" reinforces closeness with kristina.

the difference is so slight but it's definitely there in the way its used. the tone changes the meaning. saying "re niko!" in an annoyed tone implies insult, while saying it in a positive tone implies friendliness. of course you do have to be careful with this- even in a friendly way, this level of Casual isn't something youd have with your boss or teacher. (people youre meant to talk to with the Respectful way of speaking, something english doesnt really have either)

so yeah if you want a Real authentic greek way to casually call your loved ones idiots, in an affectionate way, this would be how to do it! you can even drop the name all together and just call someone "re"- the name is implied. even just saying it in its own can be used to be like "dude." or "dude???" and It may sometimes be lengthened to "vre" for emphasis

anyway if you made it this far you must actually care about this kind of stuff, so let me give you some other terms of endearment you could use that are actually Nice: "agapi mou" (my love), "matia mou" or "matakia mou" (literally "my eyes" but more along the lines of "light of my eyes." the -aki suffix is a diminutive), and "kardia mou" or "kardoula mou" (my heart. -oula is another diminutive). these can be used for either romantic partners or children!

also the insult a greek character should use the most often is malaka. maliciously and negatively. its like how irish people say cunt or brittish people say wanker (in fact thats the literal translation). that word means a lot to us. and yes of course, you can totally say "re malaka!!!" and this could mean anything from "you stupid son of a bitch i'm going to murder you" to "my awesome close good friend, its so good to see you!"

now you know!

funniest language thing in modern greek is that the word for baby/infant is “moro” which literally means “idiot.” like someone looked at a baby 1000 years ago and was like “this guy doesnt know shit.”

[m0e-ru]

shoutout to the message runs ive made that last 3289160297346102934 words and stretch on seven or eight page scroll loads hyperanalyzing mim's attendant facade's personality from the 47 dialogue lines theyve made in character and the sweet collective six minutes they've acted in the first stageplay

[crowned-ladybug]

i’m slowly realising that maybe Joseph’s idea of flirting is just making jokes like this

[leoporoto]

found a clip of dream singing i wanna see some ass with sapnap and now i am not being able to . stop listening to it

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

(via @rebloogggs ) #ok but wait wait WAIT HERE ME OUT#what if trent IS there for the diamond dogs meeting#and ted is freaking out over the ethics of being the celebrity crush of some rando on bantr#and he wants to be honest and come clean that he is He but beard points out that could be dangerous and could lead to stalker behavior#so they agree#talk to the bantr pal a bit more figure out if they can be trusted with his true identity#MEANWHILE trent is losing his shit because he just confessed to ted without knowing it was ted#hE CONFESSED TWICE since ted is both his celebrity and work crush#and now the ball's in his court and he has to figure out what to do next without humiliating himself any further or worse risk rejection#and he's gonna tell ted he is truly he will. but just not right now#LAYERS UPON LAYERS

oh DEFINITELY trent is freaking out death grip on pen it's a miracle no one's noticed bc he's dealing with Way Too Much Shit simultaneously. a) he just thought he was getting over ted and moving on to a really nice new guy he met on bantr. which was a big deal and really really good for him and he really liked this guy so much and---SIKE that's ted DUMBASS. get LASSO'D idiot b) which means he confessed he liked ted TO TED c) and was dumb enough to call it a 'celebrity crush' because he didn't want to explain it was more like a work crush considering he knew him personally, but like, ted's still kind of a celebrity so it counts for silly get to know you conversation right? haha? right? d) now the diamond dogs are discussing the ethics of ted dating him right in front of him and it's all his fault. this whole conversation is all his fault. ted's that meme of the guy at the party like "they dont know theyre talking about me specifically oh god oh jesus christ". ted's having a crisis over dating a 'fan' and poor trent's right there like there is no good way out of this!!!! there is nothing i can say or do that will not make this incredibly awkward!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!

ALSO losing my mind at the idea that they discussed work crushes AND celebrity crushes and trents like haha it's a harmless little. omission to not explain they're the same person, and pretty reasonable anyway considering that's kind of identity-sensitive information. and then he finds out that the person he's talking to is ALSO the same person and hes like what if i had an anxiety attack. right now. when ted eventually does find out and like all that drama is over and done with there is going to be SO much affectionate teasing. you had a crush on me THREE (3) TIMES trent.

but also just--idk man! trent dealing with the fact he'd thought he was getting over his hopelessly unrequited feelings for ted only to find out he'd been starting to get over ted by developing feelings........for ted. which is kind of a punch to the chest but also now he's left with--but ted likes him back. but only--like this. on bantr. when it's not him. when it's arguably more him, in some ways, but less him in others. when ted doesn't know it's him. and if he did know, would he still like trent at all? would he be embarrassed or mad or upset? would it make everything awkward and weird? like, for a split second trent's heart rises with hope like. oh, wait. but ted likes me back. ted had talked for ages about how much he liked his pretty pen pal (his words, even though obviously trent had never shown him a picture) and that's trent, right? but then it immediately drops like a stone because trent has the self-esteem of a dusty crumb left under a tv set for a decade and comes to the conclusion a second later that ted didn't like him, he liked his pen pal, and once he knew they were the same person he'd realize his mistake and any feelings he had would evaporate. because, you know. he's trent. and he's right here, and ted just doesn't like him like that, and why would he ever.

(also see, in this scenario: ted has mentioned his own work crush, but didn't describe features trent identifies as his own defining traits--for example, he doesn't mention trent's hair, but says his crush has pretty eyes, and that he's kind-hearted and clever and makes him laugh, and trent's like wow he sounds nice <- doesn't think these things particularly describe him)

meanwhile ted is freaking out again because like. he really really likes his pen pal!! he really likes him and he's 99 percent sure he's not a creepy stalker type and wouldn't do that but like there's degrees of bad possibilities here and just generally dating a fan doesn't sit super right, but also, it's not like he knew either, so it could be fine? aaa!!!!

ALSO ive just had the image of like. if trent WASN'T in the diamond dogs meeting he does pick up on his pen pal acting a bit weird/shifty about it and is like well i should probably clarify, it's a bit misleading to say celebrity crush as i do actually know him? and now ted is slamming the emergency diamond dogs button again (actually hilarious if just through sheer coincidence he gets this text right after but trent still wasn't there or sending it as a response to the meeting or anything, just a coincidence) and is like WAIT SO HE'S SOMEONE I KNOW?????? but ted's so friendly with a lot of people that technically that could mean anything and ironically increases the stalker concern. meanwhile trent is happily oblivious to all of this. until he walks in and they've got a big board with red string going "okay so someone ted knows is texting him on bantr but doesnt know it yet and we're trying to figure out who" and trent goes WHITE

so many other possibilities for a reveal too like. jesus christ.

oh man see this is what i'm talking about. there's just so many possibilities so many places to go with this it's so funny and also angst potential off the charts. and FLUFF too. aww trent you fell in love with ted twice? that's so sweet

i still think the funniest and most mortifying thing that can happen in any sort of bantr/"oops we started talking online not knowing we knew each other irl" scenario for tedependent is trent admitting he has a crush on ted in any capacity. this goes both ways but it's funnier for trent especially if it's like "hm, name a celebrity crush". you're talking to some stranger online and you're really vibing with them, they're really nice and smart and they make you laugh and listen to you and you like them a lot and then you ask them a silly get to know you question like "what's your celebrity crush" and they say Your Fucking Name. what is ted even supposed to do with that. is it unethical to not say anything? but also saying something would be the most awkward possible thing you could do, especially if they think you're messing with them. and then they follow it up with a defensive "i have actually met him! he really is that nice and handsome in person!" and ted's just putting his head in his hands. on one hand this is incredibly flattering and kind of sweet? on the other hand oh what the fuck

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

question do sun and moon realize that reader is just a dumb dumb (affectionate) or will they think that reader doesn't want to be with them and just keeps friendzoning them and playing dumb? I think they know reader well enough that they realize they're just dumb i just need confirmation, also I love the fact that you made reader the gremlin in the relationship unlike many fics that have it the other way, loved the last chapter it was really sweet

sjdfhsdgs im glad ur enjoying little dumb idiot goblin brain reader!! and the answer is that right now, they fully 100% believe Reader is their romantic partner and that Reader is just very chill about giving and receiving little signs of affection (forehead kisses and hand holding, Moon being the absolute clingiest robot on the face of the planet, singing a romantic song to them to cheer the boys up before they leave, etc,). Sure, reader hasnt said "i love you" yet (aside from the sleepy one), or outright kissed them, but the boys are both pretty shy about those things too so they dont see anything weird about it!

are they blinded by how much love they feel for their wonderful stupid best friend love of life?? absolutely. is reader not giving them any real reason to think they ARENT dating??? nope! its a mess in every single direction bc theyre all dumb sjdfjsjfs sorry

[phantomenby]

Hii!! I'm so sorry for bothering you, please do not answer this if you don't want too but I have a quick question.

I'm starting to write a soon-to-be series with the lost boys, much like shitlings. I'm having trouble writing the guys, especially with Dwayne and David interacting with the reader. The reader is much like a fuck-you type of person, they can immediately tell that they're bad news and blankly tells them to fuck off.

I was wondering if you had any suggestions/tips on how to write the guys, specifically interacting with the character?

Hope your staying well. Please stay hydrated!

Not a bother at all love, here's a lil something but id recommend reading @asirensrage tlb fic, I really like how she writes the boys in it

Paul

Airhead, kinda out of it but not dumb hes just high alot and definitely has a dependency on it. But hes a vampire, his tolerance is hella high and he uses it to his advantage, people think hes an idiot but really he sees alot.

Hes very cuddly in the sleepy sense, and kinda like stu macher hes a horny bastard, but hed always make sure youre ok and happy before trying anything

Likes holding onto a part of you, we see this with how he is around marko

Definitely brings you snacks and random things he finds, I imagine him and Marko just stare at the beach and across the cliffs to find cool things humans have lost.

Smells nice, I assume they shower in some way but Paul smells like salt and week and an ok natural musk, Joel wanted them to be sexy-pretty-boys and i think part of that comes with their scent.

Speaking of, he loves smelling you, offering you his own clothes at times so he can mark you in some way

Very catlike in his movements, the boys havent been human for a while and none of them move like one if you watch long enough.

Languid, dopey, chill, zen, wild hair, eyes like the ocean, welcoming smile like hes watching you fall in a trap. Finds clothes in donation bins (idea stolen from ridea but he 100% does it and brings things back for marko)

Marko

Walks with 'swagger'

Hes very queer, Alex Winter is part ukranian and you can see it in Marko, not just in the way he looks. He always gets excited when foods he recognises are found in town, varenyky dumplings and paska are his favourite. But one time a shop opened up and began selling european sweets, paul and him went three times a week before david told them to eat what they had before bringing more back.

A gremlin, collects things, steals things from people he thinks are pretty. He got the fishing tassles on his shoulder from some humans, swimming up beneath them and dragging them in the water before taking the shiny things as a tropy.

Will start a fight, itching for one constantly, David loves it sice its like having a golden poodle with its teeth bared at all times.

Likes being rough but lowkey gets small man syndrome from the surf nazis who think they can drag him around, will express this when he sees you, being aggressively affectionate.

Possessive too, he and Paul and are blood hounds and he always knows where you are and what you are doing. Protective, likes to have a hand round your waist, but will be a big softly and hold it when walking through a crowd.

Likes kissing your knuckles.

Steals patches for you and sketches your form, like youre a french girl ;).

But happy to give you your own space, he will adore and love you but in the end he loves anyones company, when you want him or he wants you nothing will keep you apart anyways.

Finds random animals, if theyre hurt he will pay their vet bills, of course the money is stolen but sometimes he puts them in front of the video store and max uses it to boost his ego by saving the poor creature.

David

Keeps to himself, naturally hes old and has been through alot and is always worried about risking your safety.

He watches you before approaching, would rather know everything he can before so he can use it to woo you.

Likes holding your face, affectionate more in private but enjoys keeping you close when youre out and about. If youre in a poly with the rest of the boys he lets the younger blondes entertain you, always thinking.

Hates being out of control, almost always tops but open to being ridden. Will choke you and bruise your hips.

Kinda likes crying, idk hes weird like that.

When he does open up hes very soft, once he knows hes safe with you he becomes alot more tender, enjoys pressing your foreheads together and looking into your eyes.

Most of the boys become softer after a while, you become less of a toy and more of theirs.

As long as Max is alive he'll try and keep you away from the shopping area, knowing his sire would try and turn you with his own blood when David doesn't want you sipping anything but his own.

Dadbod, from Kiefers pics hes always been pretty soft and lanky, but hes definitely strong. Though hes never enjoyed being super messy, does it more to entertain his brothers who do the rough stuff for him.

Smells of smoke and mens perfume he bought twenty bottles of in the 1920s, he remembers only buying them because the guy who was carrying round the heavy box seemed so down on his luck.

His hair is icky though, full of product that he barely washes out, always being bleached but eventually it maintained the icy tone. He missed his human hair though, it was always so golden and soft.

Hands are calloused and cold

Dwayne

A romantic. He was raised to appreciate his partner as much as he possibly could, and in his lifetime he has seen so much suffering he has always wanted someone precious to him.

Likes having hands running through his hair, all of the boys purr but he and paul do it the loudest. When hes truly relaxed his face transforms a little, their human faces are their false ones, really their bones are always a little more prominent and if you look into his eyes you can see small specks of gold and burnt orange.

Will press his fangs to your skin, loves how soft and plush it is, never breaching the skin without permission.

His favourite place is this small bookshop that has been in the corner of the boardwalk for the past thirty years, the owner has changed twice but theyre all related. One time they tried sneaking a picture of him only to come out with a picture of just some shelves and a bribe shoved in their face. Now he keeps it afloat and in turn they get him cool books every month.

Lets you braid his hair, one time he napped on you for three hours while you made lots of little intricate braids, when he woke and pulled them out the next day his hair was wavy. Marko asked if he broke into someones house to crimp it.

Affectionate in a suffocating way, will wrap around you and press you to his chest, which is almost always bare. Hes warm too, the boys were almost always cold but Dwayne never is, you like to call him your sun, like how Paul is your lion.

Always doting on you, bringing you anything you need, even if its something small mentioned once. Sometimes gets David to search through your mind so they can know what you truly want.

Likes to pick you up, feeling the soft flesh of your thighs and always squeezing you possessively.

Will never finish first.

Smells like cherries, because thats what his conditioner smells like. Skin always soft, warm, cosy and embracing, watching you warmly and waiting for anything to show you need him, likes to read to you and let you play with his hair at the same time, once bought you a fifty dollar book you saw but wouldn't get.

-

I hope these were ok xx

[meili-sheep]

Modern au bully the fatui hc-- all three of them are "That Kid during sleepovers" and they all talk smack abt each others weird ass 3 am thoughts like the hypocrites they are--

Diluc ranges from resigned to their 3 am bs to logically breaking them down so they can go back to sleep (one of the rare times he is the voice of reason), Yelan is Very Loud about how she thinks their dumbass thoughts are dumb, and Ayato is a snobby mildly annoyed/concerned bitch abt it. All (affectionate) tho lol

An example (theyre all staying over for some reason or other, forgot to add that lol):

Ayato, one of the resident hydro visions of the group: what if we shit ice instead of peeing

Yelan: fucking nO AYATO--

Diluc, dragging a hand down his face: ayato, how would that even work? The human body is way too hot for that and the lowest it can healthily go is still too warm for ice making. You would literally need to be a frozen corpse for that to work.

Ayato: yeah yeah but wHAT IF--

Yelan, smothering him with his pillow: just go back to sleep you dumbass

Yelan: have you guys ever considered that maybe the fact we havent discovered other "intelligent life" like ourselves is because the human measurement for intelligence is too narrow and specific a scale?

Ayato: yelan, i really dont want to have a philosophical crisis at 3 am in the morning

Diluc: how would we even measure the intelligence of other life forms here on earth to figure out if they have more of a conscious yelan? Because sure animals have been shown to be using tools and caring and protecting other humans, but we cant for sure tell if that kind of intelligence is like our own. And maybe they are sentient, they are conscious, but their level of consciousness is higher or lower than ours. So really, the answer to that is... quite complicated--

Ayato, interrupting: once again, i do not want to have a philosophical crisis at 3 am in the morning. I need my beauty sleep

Yelan: i jUST WANT TO KNOW IF MY JUEYUN CHILLIES HATE ME FOR EATING THEM--

Diluc: what the fuck is fire ACTUALLY made of? Because i know its plasma yes but plasmas been said to just be really fast gas. And then that was debunked by nasa. And we havent really tried to put it under a microscope. Is it just energy? What atoms is it made of?

Yelan: gas is gas, water is water, fire is fire. Theres your answer. Now go back to sleep

Diluc: yes but what really is it?

Ayato: oh my god please just google it tomorrow--

This is some absolutely cursed shit.

But absolutely on-brand for these 3 massive massive idiots. To be honest they all balance out each other In the weirdest trifecta known to man. And they all have their own chaos and own sanity and they just work together in perfect harmony.

But it's still totally cursed.

[god1eater]

A funny big guy ‼️

Man. There’s a game me and some friends played “Become Tiky and Everything else or sometjing I don’t remember the name”, and there’s this one character “analog bambi”

I like him. So I drew him. He’s funny lookin

[non-plutonian-druid]

thoughts on... fuck idk. otgw/tua crossover. hit me.

shark, you already have all my thoughts on the otgw au, and theyre. So messy. why have you done this to me (affectionate)

(what even should i talk about? if i gave an overview of the whole thing this would be way too long)

uhh.. i think i promised to explain What The Deal With Five Is and then never did, so i guess i shall explain

The Hargreeves are all siblings that live together with their adopted father as normal, except that none of them have super powers and their mom is not a robot and there is no Umbrella Academy, theyre just kids living with their shitty dad

One year in the spring, Five gets a puppy. That fall, he disappears and nobody in the family sees him for an entire year

Of course, what happened to him is that he's in the Unknown, which means that he's... dead? I still haven't decided whether I'm going to kill Five or not tbh. We shall see.

anyway, Five gets lost in the Unknown, much as Wirt and Greg do in the series, but Five is not the main character of this au, he is a side character, so unfortunately he gets stuck there. For decades.

Early on, he meets a woman called the Handler. She tells him that she will show him how to leave, but first he must complete a series of tasks for her. In the meantime he must carry this briefcase for her and he must never, ever look inside. If he does, she cannot help him and he shall be stuck here forever. Five has read fairy tales before, and myths, and knows that only stupid idiots who want to get their dumb asses killed ignore the rules that the scary fairy lady that says she can help sets out, no matter how hard the task or how stupid the rules. So he does as she says.

I haven't decided what the tasks are and they're not really important, just flavor. The important bit is that he spends over forty years trying to complete them, following the Handler's rules and not opening the briefcase because that is how stupid idiots get their dumb asses killed right before they're free, and he has no idea that in the real world, he's been gone for just a year.

[wheelbrough]

hmmm. my review that nobody asked for.

all in all. i think its safe to say. majorrrr disappointment on literally every single front. except like, robin and vickie i guess.

bloodbath? carnage? gonna sit and stare for a while after finishing? baby. none of that is true. actors are professional liars. everything that happened this season felt like a whole lotta nothing. the russia plotline dragged onnn and onnn and the cali gang were totally sidelined and stancy? in 2022? there goes steves arc. so many relationships juuuust down the drain.

i hate that its eddie who died. i liked eddie, yeah, but gaaaah i cant get OVER it if youre gonna go around saying its time to kill off some of the main cast just DO THE DAMN THING!!!! people have been waiting for steve to die since like season 1 man. kill him. commit to killing max. commit to killing hopper. kill nancy! jonathan! i dont care who just dont create another side character just to kill him. im pretty sure they split s4 into 2 volumes one for the money slash hype two it was a way to like. make people get attached to eddie. so him dying would feel like a main cast character dying. there were so many good opportunities to kill steve. i dont want steve to die, im just saying. PLUS eddies death is not mentioned at ALL after the fact with any of the gang, like ???? i get max is in the hospital but he was mike and lucas and dustins friend and everyone bonded with him youd think theyd show a little bit of mourning rather than just.ignoring it. focusing on max. ?????

and the wayyyy he died like they could have hopped back to hawkins and if the bats started to leave just fall in lure them back hop right out. eddie running to the bats makes no sense especially because as he was being killed the people he was trying to protect are being strangled by vines. so. completely pointless. this final battle was incredibly lame and his death was just so anticlimactic.

im upset abt byler bc, while i didnt think it would actually happen, i thought, idk, will would have some importance? mikes not that stupid. hes a dumb dumb idiot (affectionate) but he’s not blind and it really makes no sense to craft the byler narrative like this UNLESS theres an Actual Good Scene in s5 of will like coming out and mike being a good friend.

and like i get that steves relationship with dustin is special but come on he’s friends with the other kids too and that is just so consistently ignored. he and robin and nancy and jonathan know all these kids and have for a Long Time and its just always dustin with the older guys and. where is my steve and lucas or steve and max or robin and max or hell even robin and mike dynamic. they hang out i know they do. show it to us. and dont show us stancy. dont show us steve wanting six kids and an apple pie life with nancy of all people. like i get long time yearning, i am a big fan of that actually, but with stancy... especially the way their relationship ended!! you cant retcon that. nobody wants it.

quick side note too like steve was just... okay? after being choked twice and having his insides eaten? never mentioned again? theyre so weird with physical injuries. dustin got his stupid little limp but steve is never shown to be hospitalized or even checked out and his choking bruise rash is just. gone. after two days. yeah, no, i dont buy that. its just him being ignored and forgotten in the narrative.

AND  THEN we spend all season watching incredibly stretched out narratives with all the separate groups. and we dont even see them all together. only some of them. i get that season 5 is supposed to pick up immediately after (? it has to, right?) but where was that moment of everyone coming together with one piece of the puzzle to make things make sense. the different plotlines didnt connect. if youre gonna make the story focus on the plotlines and not the characters then at least try and make the plot cooler, you know? it just felt. weak. like marvel movies feel. oh goody another fucking monologue.

and now im just being nitpicky but eye personally am not a fan of the jokes abt hopper being skinnier slash not fat. i needed to lose weight or im not fat anymore (to el) or you shrunk like no shit he lost weight. he was in a RUSSIAN PRISON being fed moldy bread for EIGHT MONTHS. that just what this show needed. jokes abt starving making someone look better slash healthier. they dont outright say he looks better, i’ll give them that, but it is 1000% implied that its a good thing he lost weight, mostly brushing over the STARVING IN A RUSSIAN PRISON aspect of it.

and even more nitpicky the one good thing of robin and vickie? yay another skinny white girl. more skinny white lesbians. hoo ray. wheres that bechdel comic abt why dont they show anyone like us?

vecna looked stupid. there was too much for shock value. where was argyle in the last scene? abandoned in the woods? murray? like its full on 7 am right now and i am. i knew id be disappointed. i knew i would. and i am! this show has lived long enough to see itself become the villain.

however. mike is my baby. steve is my baby girl. i love robin and i love lucas and i love jonathan and argyle and joyce <3 and mike again hes really just my idiot baby boy i love the characters and i am looking forward to seeing the, frankly, much better alternatives other people come up with. duffers :( stop trying to outdo yourselves. you cant. you dont want to. sigh.

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)