#the idea that its pain and perseverance that makes us not only human but beautiful

[2th]

for the rest of my life the ending of baroque will probably never stop being one of the most beautiful and poignant displays of hope, action, acceptance, and transition i’ve ever seen in a gothic narrative quite literally sitting beside bloodborne.

[mattchase82]

Cry of a Lost Soul

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This unusual narrative recounts the revelations of a lost soul to a former acquaintance. It is a powerful record of the steps which led a young woman to lose her soul in Hell for all eternity.

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Although it has several times been printed with imprimatur, this in itself does not guarantee the authenticity of the story.

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An imprimatur merely indicates that the subject matter is free from error in faith and morals.

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Is it true?

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Obviously, it cannot be "guaranteed" because the only evidence is that of the girl herself.

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It certainly may be true and its instructional qualities would pertain even if the story itself were not true.

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In the July apparition at Fatima a vision of a Hell of fire was given to the three little children, and significantly, its existence was confirmed by the great public miracle on October 13th.

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Yet Hell is little spoken of in the pulpits. Because of this, the special intervention of Heaven, may, as at Fatima, be necessary to restore this sobering doctrine to its important place in Christian dogma.

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It is well to remember that the Hell spoken of here is the Hell which has a significant place in Catholic doctrine, the Hell described vividly by Christ Himself, the Hell seen in all its livid horror by the children at Fatima on July 13th, 1917.

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The names of persons and places are omitted because of the nature of the Article.

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Clara and Annette, both single Catholics in their early twenties, worked adjacent to each other as employees of a commercial firm in Germany. Although they were never very close friends, they shared a courteous mutual regard which led to an exchange of ideas and, eventually, of confidences. Clara professed herself openly religious, and felt it her duty to instruct and admonish Annette when the latter appeared excessively casual or superficial in religious matters.

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In due course, Annette married and left the firm. The year was 1937. Clara spent the autumn of that year on holiday at Lake Garda. About the middle of September she received a letter from her mother. "Annette . . . is dead. She was the victim of an auto accident and was buried yesterday at Wald-Friedhof."

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Clara was frightened since she knew her friend was not very religious. Was she prepared to appear before God? Dying suddenly, what had happened to her?

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The next day she attended Mass, received Holy Communion, and prayed fervently for her friend. The following night, at ten minutes after midnight, the vision took place. . .

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"Clara, do not pray for me! I am in hell. If I tell you this and speak at length about it, do not think it is because of our friendship. We here do not love anyone. I do this as under constraint. In truth, I should like to see you to come to this state where I must remain forever."

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"Perhaps that angers you, but here we all think that way. Our wills are hardened in evil - in what you call evil. Even when we do something 'good', as I do now, opening your eyes about hell, it is not because of a good intention."

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"Do you still remember our first meeting four years ago at. . .? You were then 23 and had been there already half a year. Because I was a beginner, you gave me some helpful advice. Then I praised your love of your neighbor. Ridiculous! Your help was mere coquetry. Here we do not acknowledge any good - in anybody."

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"Do you remember what I told you about my youth? Now I am painfully compelled to fill in some of the gaps."

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"According to the plan of my parents, I should not have existed. A misfortune brought about my conception. My two sisters were 14 and 15 when I was born."

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"Would that I had never existed! Would that I could now annihilate myself! Escape these tortures! No pleasure would equal that with which I would abandon my existence, as a garment of ashes which is lost in nothingness. But I must continue to exist as I chose to make myself - as a ruined person."

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"When father and mother, still young, left the country for the city, they had lost touch with the Church and were keeping company with irreligious people. They had met at a dance, and after a year and a half of companionship they 'had' to get married."

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"As a result of the nuptial ceremony, so much holy water remained on them that my mother attended Sunday Mass a couple of times a year. But she never taught me to pray. Instead, she was completely taken up with the daily cares of life, although our situation was not bad."

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"I refer to prayer, Mass, religious instruction, holy water, church with a very strong repugnance. I hate all that, as I hate those who go to church, and in general every human being and everything."

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"From a great many things do we receive torture. Every knowledge received at the hour of death, every remembrance of things lived or known is for us, a piercing flame. In each remembrance, good and bad, we see the way in which was present - the grace we despised or ignored. What a torture is this! We do not eat, we do not sleep, we do not walk. Chained, with howling and gnashing of teeth, we look appalled at our ruined life, hating and suffering. Do you hear? We here drink hatred like water. Above all we hate God. With reluctance do I force myself to make you understand."

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"The blessed in heaven must love God because they see Him without veil, in all His dazzling beauty. That makes their bliss indescribable. We know this and the knowledge makes us furious. Men on earth, who know God from nature and from revelation, can love Him, but they are not compelled to do so. The believer - I say this with gnashing of teeth - who contemplates Christ on the cross, with arms extended, will end by loving Him."

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"But he whom God approaches only in the final storm, as punisher, as just avenger, because he was rejected by Him, such a person cannot but hate Him with all the strength of his wicked will. We died with willful resolve to be separated from God. Do you now understand why hell lasts forever! It is because our wills were fixed for eternity at the moment of death. We had made our final choice. Our obstinacy will never leave us. Under compulsion, I must add that God is merciful even towards us. I affirm many things against my will and must choke the torrent of abuses I should like to vomit out."

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"God was merciful to us by not allowing our wicked wills to exhaust themselves on earth, as we should have been prepared to do. This would have increased our faults and our pains. He caused us to die before our time, as in my case, or had other mitigating circumstances intervene. Now He shows Himself merciful towards us by not compelling a closer approach than that afforded in this remote inferno. Every step bringing us closer to God would cause us a greater pain than that which a step closer to a burning furnace would cause you."

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"You were scared when once, during a walk, I told you that my father, a few days before my first Communion, had told me: 'My little Annette, the main thing is your beautiful white dress, all the rest is just make-believe.' Because of your concern, I was almost ashamed. Now I sneer at it."

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"The important thing is that we were not allowed to receive Communion until the age of 12. By then I was already absorbed in worldly amusements and found it easy to set aside, without scruple, the things of religion. Thus, I attached no great importance to my first Communion. We are furious that many children go to Communion at the age of seven. We do all we can to make people believe that children have insufficient knowledge at that age. They must first commit some mortal sins. Then the white Particle will not do so much damage to our cause as when faith, hope, and charity - oh, these things! - received in Baptism, are still alive in their hearts."

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"Marta K - and you induced me to enter "The Association of the Young Ladies." The games were amusing. As you know, I immediately took a directive part. I liked it. I also like the picnics. I even let myself be induced to go to confession and communion sometimes."

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"Once you warned me, 'Anne, if you do not pray, you go to perdition.' I used to pray very little indeed, and even this unwillingly. You were then only too right. All those who burn in hell did not pray or did not pray enough."

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"Prayer is the first step towards God. And it is the decisive step. Especially prayer to her who is the Mother of Christ, whose name we never pronounce. Devotion to her rescues from the devil numberless souls whom sin would infallibly give to him."

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"I continue my story, consumed with rage and only because I have to. To pray is the easiest thing man can do on earth. And God has tied up the salvation of each one exactly to this very easy thing."

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"To him who prays with perseverance little by little God gives so much light, so much strength, that even the most debased sinner will at the end come back to salvation. During the last years of my life I did not pray any more, so I lacked those graces without which nobody can be saved. Here we no longer receive graces. Moreover, should we receive them we would cynically refuse them. All the fluctuations of earthly existence have ceased in the other life. For years I was living far away from God. For, in the last call of grace I decided against God."

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"I never believed in the influence of the devil. And now I affirm that he has strong influence on the persons who are in the condition in which I was then. Only many prayers, others and mine own, united with sacrifices and penances, could have snatched me from his grip. And even this only little by little. If there are only few externally obsessed, there are very many internally possessed. The devil cannot steal the free will from those who give themselves to his influence. But in punishment of their, so to speak, methodical apostasy from God, He allows the devil to nest in them."

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"I hate the devil too. And yet I am pleased about him, because he tries to ruin all of you; he and his satellites, the fallen with him at the beginning of time. There are millions of them. They roam around the earth, as thick as a swarm of flies, and you do not even notice it. It is not reserved to us damned to tempt you; but to the fallen spirits. In truth every time they drag down here to hell a human soul their own torture is increased. But what does one not do for hatred?"

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"Deep down I was rebelling against God. You did not understand it; you thought me still a Catholic. I wanted, in fact, to be called one; I even used to pay my ecclesiastical dues. Maybe your answers were right sometimes. On me they made no impression, since you must not be right. Because of these counterfeited relationships between the two of us, our separation on the occasion of my marriage was of no consequence to me. Before the wedding I went to confession and communion once more. It was a precept. My husband and I thought alike on this point. Why not comply with this formality? So we complied with this, as with the other formalities."

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"Our married life, in general, was spent in great harmony. We were of the same idea in everything. In this too, that we did not want the burden of children. In truth, my husband would have like to have one; no more, of course. In the end I succeeded in dissuading him even from this desire. Dresses, luxurious furniture, places of entertainment, picnics and trips by car and similar things were more important for me... It was a year of pleasure on earth, the one that passed from my marriage to my sudden death. Internally, of course, I was never happy, although externally at ease. There was always something indeterminate inside that gnawed at me."

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"Unexpectedly I had an inheritance from my Aunt, Lotte. My husband succeeded in increasing his wages to a considerable figure. And so I was able to furnish our new home in an attractive way. Religion did not show its light but from afar off, pale, feeble and uncertain."

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"I used to give free vent to my ill humor about some mediaeval representations of hell in cemeteries or elsewhere, in which the devil is roasting souls in red burning coals, while his companions with long tails drag new victims to him. Clara! One can be mistaken in depicting hell, but never can one exaggerate."

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"I tell you: the fire of which the Bible speaks, does not mean the torment of the conscience. Fire is fire! What He said: 'Away from Me, you accursed one, into eternal fire', is to be understood literally. Literally! How can the spirit be touched by material fire, you will ask. How can your soul suffer on earth when you put your finger on the flame? In fact the soul does not burn; and yet what torture all the individual feels!"

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"Our greatest torture consists in the certain knowledge that we shall never see God. How can this torture us so much, since on earth we are so indifferent? As long as the knife lies on the table, it leaves you cold. You see how keen it is, but you do not feel it. Plunge the knife into the flesh and you will start screaming for pain. Now we feel the loss of God. The lost Catholics suffer more than those of other religions, because they, mostly, received and despised more graces and more light. He who knew more suffers more cruelly than he who knew less. He who sinned out of malice suffers more keenly than he who sinned out of weakness. But nobody suffers more than he deserves. Oh, if that were not true, I should have a motive to hate!"

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"My death happened this way . . ."

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"A week ago - I am speaking according to your reckoning, because according to pain, I could very well say that it is already ten years that I am burning in hell - a week ago, then, my husband and I, on a Sunday went on a picnic, the last one for me. The day was glorious. I felt very well. A sinister sense of pleasure that was with me all the day long, invaded me. When lo, suddenly, during the return, my husband was dazzled by a car that was coming full speed. He lost control."

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"Jesus, used frequently by some people of German language - escaped from my lips with a shivering. Not as a prayer, but as a shout. A lacerating pain took hold of the whole of me. (In comparison with the present only a trifle). Then I lost consciousness. Strange! That morning this thought had come to me in an inexplicable way: 'You could go to Mass once more', It seemed like the last call of Love."

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"Clear and resolute, my 'NO' cut off that train of thought. You will know already what happened after my death. The lot of my husband and that of my mother, what happened to my corpse and the proceedings of my funeral are known to me through some natural knowledge we have here. What happens on earth we know only obscurely. But we know what touches us closely. I see also where you are living."

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"I myself awoke from the darkness suddenly, in the instant of my passing. I saw myself as flooded by a dazzling light. It was in the same place where my dead body was lying. It was like a theater, when suddenly the lights in the hall are put out, the curtains are rent aside and an unexpected scene, horrible illuminated, appears. The scene of my life."

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"My soul showed herself to me as in a mirror; all the graces despised from my youth until my last NO to God. I felt myself like an assassin, to whom his dead victim is shown during his trial at court - Should I repent? Never! - Should I feel ashamed? Never!"

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"However, I could not even stand before the eyes of God, rejected by me. There was only one thing for me: flight! As Cain fled from the dead body of Abel, so my soul rushed from the sight of horror."

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"This was the particular judgment: the invisible Judge said: 'Away from Me'. Then my soul, as a yellow brimstone shadow, fell headlong into the place of eternal torture."

YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE UNEDITED VERSION HERE

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http://sicutincaelo.org/b08_hell.html

[jancynco]

Layers

The undoing of an idea, the becoming of a new form of woman and the evolution that connects two happenings. Over the course of this forceful time of reflection and reconciliation I have developed a healthy appreciation of design. Let me explain. We all get to a point of life where we ask ourselves about purpose, how do we fulfill it, and ultimately how does that purpose connect to who we are. I realized that a great portion of my life was used to conform who I was in order to maintain my sanity. To blend or assimilate because my uniqueness was created by manufactured, generational curses and the awakening of quenched curiosity. I clothed myself with layers… suitable, self-satisfying defense mechanisms to protect the future I thought I wanted to build. It was exhausting upholding this idea I knew wasn’t organic. I remember praying to God to devastate me. It was a very distinct and intentional prayer because it came at the cusp of my undoing. A quiet plea to save me from my ideas and set me anew. I desired devastation because I did not want to return to my former self. I wanted to be a phoenix unfamiliar to the common and received by the unknown. Something happened after my baptism by fire or in my case the isolation and the pain of an illness physically, mentally and spiritually. The idea of what a Christian… a woman… a Black human was, chiseled away like I was being reborn out of a shapeless marble stone and crafted into who you know today by the perseverance and struggle of one. I am so liberated in my becoming. It is a metamorphosis realized in the middle of transformation which makes the journey validating in being present. 

 As a woman, discovering the power of femininity left me adverse to new traditionalism. There is a beautiful art within the vulnerability of submission. I felt empowered submitting to something outside of myself knowing I have the strength to undergird the weight of a thing that is also designed to protect me. I am in essence fortifying my protection and, in that submission, therein lies my greatest superpower. Because I was designed whole, I as a woman, encompass everything I will ever need to survive. There just needed to be a mind-blowing encounter. Loving my husband in this manner is honoring the Spirit of God in both of us. I chose to acknowledge my womanhood through the lens of contrast of gender because I believe appreciation is birthed out of opposition in a sense. The tango of becoming one, yet maintaining your identity leaves me baffled. The discovery of an answer beckons the reinvention of oneself to accommodate the time needed for an unbreakable union. Wife in today’s view is looked upon as a role, an interchangeable one, but if we are characterized as such before we become a wife by Biblical standards is that not a calling? To be called to marriage is to have your nature tested and celebrated in its necessity of a particular purpose within connection. I truly feel the brevity and distinction of myself by the awareness of those around me and their differences. I am empowered because I am a woman. Differences only need the explanation of what it is… not why it is. What am I to you determines the functionality and purpose in relationship. Why my differences exist are to be revealed. Black. It is way more than an identifying marker. My race was determined before my sex or the acceptance of my beliefs. It is my belonging personified, my inherited brand, my power tethered to ancestral dreams. I am so enamored by my own skin. It refuses to be tamed by oppression and conformity. It is a bell curve that highlights the trials and triumphs of a people through the linear progression of time. In our current state we are just awaiting the ascension out of a valley. It seeps out through texture both in voice and curls. Through the curvature of body and smile. In style through decorum, the swaying of my hips or the creative expression cultivated by broken limitations. 

Black. I am God’s appreciation of Himself conceptualized in all of my genetic make-up… “…and it was good.” I am the summation of the intended good of countless generations before me originated from one design. The undoing of an idea or what it means to be “Black” as well as the growth into womanhood are all cataclysmic phenoms. The evolution that bridges these two moments of time and keeps them at bay respectively is faith. The audacity of intersectionality within a Black woman is deliberate…intentional… purposeful. The full circle experience in having faith in the Creator of your distinction is a practice of adoration for the careful customization the world gets the privilege of witnessing but only for a vapor. It is such a beautiful thing to witness when a Black woman is refined within the safety of love. The currency of her faith flows as abundantly and melodic as her presence in the desolation of uninspired spaces. 

 The makings of me, many layers when peeled away is meant to be pondered singularly and consumed whole, however to garner an understanding she must be felt as a force in its full capacity. To not have the intimacy of knowing her in her full extent is a disservice. Life will uncover who you were already designed to be. You in all of your glory should be revered as an experience and not hushed into objectivity. What will it take to discover who you have always been meant to be and meet the arrival the world so desperately needs in identifying your layers and embracing transformation.

[sasorikigai]

aranyhíd + basorexia + chéngquán + ichariba chode + smultronställe ( for fire hubby, any verse of your choosing + bonus points for any Hanryou mentions :^) )

one word ideas for when you’re feeling stuck || @sonxflight || accepting

aranyhíd (hungarian, n) - “the golden bridge”; the reflection of the sun as it shines on water

basorexia (n.) - the overwhelming desire to kiss

chéngquán // 成全 (chinese, v.) - “to become whole”; to selflessly help someone achieve their aim

ichariba chode // 行逢りば兄弟 (japanese, phr.) - “though we meet but once, even by chance, we are friends for life”  

smultronställe (swedish, n.) - a special place discovered, treasured, returned to for solace and relaxation; a personal idyll free from stress or sadness  

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ 🔥 || As distant as his soul, as distant as a journey into the space of his soul, Hanzo Hasashi lets the year’s first warmer days present themselves in bliss, and amid all this sunshine, the chirping birds, and sprouting flora bringing scents of rejuvenation, the fog in his mind clears up and his nigh forgotten body switches from an ongoing state of depletion to a state of recharging; albeit by fits and starts. Verily, the spring in his mind has commenced, and Hanzo desperately wishes to frolic in these fields turning ever greener, to encompass the tendrils of his kunai set in celerity as the Scorpion’s sting continues to split and whirl the air, breaking the limitations of chiseled male human anatomy and his exemplary physicality to exemplify him from satisfactorily using it. 

Once, the triviality of his unnatural, unearthly life had been only matched by the insignificancies of the normal and vulgar; Scorpion’s wretched, wicked spirit laid beneath a layer of charcoal dust, tracing a blurred, grotesque lines between the squalor and meanness of his slaughtered human existence. A fragmented part of him will always stay as his kintsugi heart continues to heal in giant mosaic. Reassembled and understood in a way that the splendor of effulgent nature dances in his heart like a beautiful brushstroke on the canvas of his soul, as he would describe love as nothing to do with people, for it transcends the living or the dead. It’s something he feels to make himself whole; a part of a puzzle, but it doesn’t make the whole picture. 

It may take him to turns and dead ends, giving him peace, but other times, it just consumes him. It starts from his head, and goes to his heart and he cannot stop it. He cannot hold it, and somedays, Hanzo Hasashi would want it to stop, on the other days, he would simply beg it to race until the end. His love could never be just described as romantically; it’s emotionally, platonically, physically, and sexually overwhelming. 

Hanzo Hasashi and Ryou Sakai’s pain dwells not only inside the pink, gelatinous mass nestled deep in their chests, but past all the web of veins and arteries, past the bone and sinews. It remains somnolent in the space between love and grief, in the abstract and unreachable, because it is so present, yet so intangible. For Hanzo, it’s more like a metastasized tumor in his graceful, magnanimous kindness. He is convinced that he will be able to save people from all the excruciating throes of pain, as Ryou Sakai once had taken upo his fallen body and extinguished spirit and repurposed them in his solemn transmogrifying resurrection. Only then, the Shirai Ryu Grandmaster will find any meaning and purpose in this decorated and tormented life, if only he could. 

As the dusk flares its last dramatic rays upon the Earth, they are blinded by the light, as their footwork slowly subsides, beneath the rupture and splendor of saturated flames of their exertion. Multitudes of flurries are exchanged, and so does the vicious gracefulness of their crafts, for their bodies are arsenals of war as the malpractices of them and agony in which they both have shared continues to diminish beneath the bloating sense of onyx darkness. Despite the old tarnish memories resurfacing in the mirror of antiquity covered in cracks and sand, time worn, but astonishing in that it was once a moment for happiness and reflective perseverance upon his deep reminiscence.  

Hanzo always falls hard and he falls fast - knowing his melancholic heart will eternally sing of sorrow from all the withered roses of his life, that will never shed enough thorns to be loved in their purest form. But his beloved had equated love with learning and learning with experience; and he has seen enough heartache in his willowed soul to know that he is not alone in this trials and tribulations. If Hanzo Hasashi could have held the Sun just long enough to outshine its burn, maybe Ryou would have held him past the breaking dawn, even in his grief-stricken, diabolical subjugation beneath the vengeful ire and destruction. 

Their unchoreographed, visceral music is their great uniter; an incredible force. Sometimes even the people who differ in their credo on certain facets of their lives could have so much in common. And he will never become ashamed to admit - that Hanzo Hasashi is an addict of physical attention, his preferred form of affection. Whether it is calloused hands bruising, crimson-streaked lips grazing, pierced flesh smacking and colliding, even tearing in the throes of familiar, long-accepted pain, he craves it all the same. Maybe he is not only just addicted to tension applied to his surface, and perhaps - it’s the pleasure. A solemn reminder, that he is still capable enough of feeling something radiant, despite his mind’s wretched indifference as the demon’s gaping maw and ravenous claws continue to threaten to overwhelm. 

This human body of Hanzo Hasashi’s sensitivity and sentimentality is immensely responsive, and this love is what keeps him sane and deeply anchored towards his sensibility and intuition, seeing and hearing the significant things, of paying attention at the right moments, of understanding and co-ordinating. And he will utilize this exceptionally developed gift for dealing with the accidents of existence, not the accidents themselves. By a happy dispensation of nature, he will possess the gift of experience in conjunction with that of expression; via his encompassing love that renders him raw and open, like a wirebrush against scarred skin, or flurries of katana slashes brushing against the sweat and blood saturated skin. 

The price of his pain is more than Ryou Sakai’s kiss - as solemn kombat between them will draw bridges to human connection that transcends their mere cordialities, coating themselves with a layer of fresh sanguine paint as the mysterious pull will always let his physicality enfold atop Ryou’s smaller one - knowing that he would be in the paradise, with savored breaths and sensation of throat-clawing ravenous, animalistic carnality, Hanzo would let himself be plunged deeper into the abyss of desperation, knowing that a beacon of light - both his purified, cleansed flames and Ryou’s solar radiance - would shine their dancing rays across the gray waves as he relinquishes without a sense of direction. ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ 🔥 || 

[jolynejay]

JP New Year Event

Ok, so I want to talk about the new units for the jp new year event.

This years bigger theme is animals and ofc they all have some neat symbolism.

Ok, so first off: Dostoyevsky. This one is honestly the easiest of the five, since his asigned animal is the rat. No one should be surprised at this point as Fyodor has been associated on multiple occasions with rats. In the western hemisphere rats have a negative connotation. They are associated with death and decay. In Japan however the rat or nezumi is a symbol for wealth and succsess. Fitting for the mastermind manipulator Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

Next, Shibusawa Tatsuhiko. This one, too, is relatively easy. Here the crow seems to be more prevalent as a symbol of death, seeing as Shibusawa was ultimately "already dead", only still being able to act thanks to the Draconia. However, there is in Japan also the idea of the crow as a messenger of the gods or a representative of divine intervention. It might be a stretch to say, but maybe this is also a reference to Shibusawa being "saved by an angel", a divine messenger.

Edit: As anon correctly observed, the crow in Shibusawa’s illustration has 3 legs. This is no error on the artists side. 

I forgot to mention it, but in Japan the three-legged (or tripedal) crow is callled Yatagarasu. The appearance of this “eight-span crow” is seen as evidence of Heaven’s will or as proof for divine intervention in human affairs. And Yatagarasu as crow-god in Japanese Shinto is specifically a symbol for guidence. This actually strenghtens my theory of the three-legged crow as a metaphor for Shibusawa being “saved by an angel”.

But the Yatagarasu also has another older meaning. It may not be as celebrated today, but the crow is said to be a mark of rebirth and rejuvenation. The relation of Shibusawa’s character to this particular fact is quite obvious. I mean, how many times has he been killed and came back in one form or another XD

Now we’ll get into the nitty gritty, so buckle up:

Wisdom, Cunning, Adaptability, Strategy – all traits commonly associated with foxes. And all attributes I would assign Dazai, with his ability to seemingly think three steps ahead of everyone around him. 

And he also shares a certain duality foxes possess in Japan. 

On one hand Dazai is a kind of guardian and guide to the ADA, and Atsushi in particular. Just like Inari-foxes guard Shinto shrines devoted to Inari Ôkami and serve as their messenger. On a side note: Inari’s foxes are also pure white just like the one in Dazai’s illustration. 

On the other hand, there exist other more mischievous foxes too. These foxes allude to the more mysterious and sly connotations they often embody in Western culture. Using illusions and deception to play pranks on unsuspecting humans, or in some cases even lure them to their untimely death. I’d argue this too is part of Dazai’s character as he plays tricks on others (often at Kunikida’s or Chuuya’s expense) on multiple occasions, but his wit and sharp mind also forces his enemies to their knees.

Chuuya has the honor of being portrayed with the Koi. Koi, for those who do not know, are quite powerful fish, demonstrated by their ability to swim against currents and even travel upstream. This in turn makes them strong symbols for good fortune, success, power and perseverance. It’s undeniable that Chuuya’s ability For The Tainted Sorrow – and especially its true form Corruption – makes him a force to be reckoned with. The koi fish is also a common yakuza tattoo. The relation here to Chuuya’s position as Mafia Executive is pretty easy to see.

Interestingly enough, a legend about Koi exists as well. It tells of a huge school of koi swimming upstream the Yellow River in China. Reaching the waterfall at end of the river, many of the koi turned back. But a single koi persevered and eventually reached the top of the waterfall. The gods, recognizing the koi for its determination, turned it into a dragon. Once again, it might be a stretch to say, but this could also be a subtle nod to Chuuya’s battle with Shibusawa’s dragon form – a “small fish” taking on a dragon.

(Side note: a koi swimming with lotus flowers symbolizes beauty that comes out hard circumstances, representing pain, struggle and growth. And if that doesn’t perfectly describe Chuuya, I don’t know what does. I mean, hot damn XDD)

And last, but not least, we have Odasaku. And this one is like a punch to the gut on all kinds of levels – so get ready for the Feels™ .

First of all, to identify the kind of crane Odasaku is portrayed with: judging by the snow white colour with black on the wing secondaries, as well as the patch of red on its head, it is save to say it is a red-crowned crane aka a tanchôzuru. This is of importance as this specific type of bird is said to live for 1000 years – a cruel irony considerind Odasaku’s fate. But this is just the beginning.

Red-crowed cranes have the ability to fly high for miles without tiring, making them a symbol for strength. Flawless is a good representation for that strength, as it makes Odasaku almost undefeated in combat with the exception of another ability of the same kind (we all know the one). It’s a sign for the mental fortitude Odasaku has, too, as a member of the Port Mafia.

Cranes are said to grant favors in return for acts of sacrifice. It is possible to see this as a reference to Odasaku’s death, where his ultimate sacrifice makes Dazai respect Odasaku’s last wish. Dazai changes his way to “be on the side that saves people”, to “save the weak, and protect the orphans”.

To “become a good man”.

I’ll be honest this, together with the fact that red-crowned cranes mate for life, really gets the Odazai shipper part of my brain going.

But there is one last part I haven’t mentioned yet: The story of Sadako and the thousand paper cranes. Suffering from leukemia as a result of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and knowing she was dying, Sadako undertook to make a thousand origami cranes before her death at the age of 12. After she passed away, Sadako as well as cranes beame a symbol for the innocent victims of war. And this should sound familiar. Kousuke, Katsumi, Yuu, Shinji and Sakura – the five orphans Odasaku took in after the Dragon Head Conflict were killed in front of Oda to provoke him into destroying Mimic, the organization behind the murder. They were killed as means to an end. Innocents sacrificed in a war they had no part in.

So being portrayed with cranes in his New Year Illustraition is, in the end, a metaphorical picture for Odasaku with his children. Yeah... let that one sink in :)

 I would love to further expand on the new units, like the meaning of the flowers, but this post is already long enough as is, so I’ll leave that for another day, maybe…

[cafedisco3]

BOY’S CRY

Before sharing his story with the world and becoming one of the most important artists of our time, Frank Ocean was a high school graduate in New Orleans scouring for jobs to pay for studio time to record his potential projects. In August 2005, Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc across the region, provoking Ocean’s move from New Orleans to Los Angeles, California. It was in California that Frank eventually found his opening into the music industry. Landing a songwriting deal, he began ghostwriting for many of the biggest artists we know today: Justin Bieber (“Bigger”, 2008) and Beyoncé (“I Miss You”, 2009). In 2009, he started working with Odd Future, specifically Tyler, the Creator - one of his best friends, who played a pivotal role in encouraging him to continue writing songs, but for himself. Through Odd Future, Frank was able to meet Producer, Tricky Stewart who eventually introduced him to an American Record Label: Def Jam Recordings. Though this deal was meant to serve as his platform for releasing music, out of frustration he released his first mixtape, nostalgia, ULTRA, for free download on Tumblr. Frank explained that he was frustrated with the label for not being supportive of his efforts after signing. Regardless of the heightened tension in Frank’s relationship with the label, this mixtape ignited the spark of his fame to follow. Frank’s pilot success with this mixtape allowed his standing to grow tremendously, eliciting feature requests from A-listers such as Jay-Z and Kanye West, but for the most part, Frank remained highly selective with his craft and unwaveringly loyal to Tyler and Odd Future. 

This origin story is only the tip of the elusive iceberg that is Frank Ocean. Since before the days of nostalgia, ULTRA, Frank has been selective with his public interactions. Once a ghostwriter for pop stars and then a secret weapon among Odd Future’s large roster, playing the background seemed to come naturally to him. However, the star within him proved too bright to contain. Still, since his rise in stature, rather than outwardly embracing the fame that was guaranteed, he chose instead to remain guarded with his art and protective of his image. Over time, this has allowed him to meticulously reveal himself on his own terms, using his art as a way to give insight into his identity. It was only when speculations about his sexuality began to circle through the hip-hop and pop community prior to the release of his debut studio album, channel ORANGE, that the once-guarded artist decided to become candid in a way he never previously attempted; on his Tumblr, through an open letter to his fans titled Thank You, Frank went on to reveal his bisexaulity:  

Credit: http://frankocean.tumblr.com/post/26473798723

I don’t think I’m exaggerating in the slightest when I say that this letter was a beautiful, poetic exemplification of love. In typical Frank fashion, it wasn’t an overt admission of anything, because there isn’t anything to admit. We are who we are, and according to Frank, that is “human beings spinning on blackness”. According to Frank we are a lot more alike than we are different, regardless of our race, cultures or sexual identity. He chose to focus on what makes us all similar as humans, and if he revealed or confirmed something about himself that wasn’t clear to you in the process, then so be it. His sexuality wasn’t the point of the letter. The letter was about empathy and love. The letter was about being human. In an era were child-suicide rates were increasingly linked to homophobia and transphobia, especially in black and latino communities, Frank used his story to humanize those who had been historically demonized. 

This letter birthed a chapter for Frank’s influence. When channel ORANGE arrived that following summer, these feelings of self-discovery through heartache and unrequited love reverberated all throughout the tracklist. The album itself was named after the summer detailed in his letter, the summer during which he first fell in love with another man. Frank dropping this album and his Thank You letter was powerful, valiant move. He cut through the lingering homophobia of the time and crafted a tale of perseverance and acceptance. This album allowed me, someone with completely different experiences, to appreciate his journey. He successfully detached himself from the increasingly materialistic world of the music industry and turned his art into statements that effectively captured the current state of the human condition.

There are two songs off of channel ORANGE that I believe are worth highlighting. The first is “Bad Religion”: 

Taxi driver Be my shrink for the hour Leave the meter running It's rush hour So take the streets if you wanna Just outrun the demons, could you He said "Allahu akbar", I told him don't curse me “Bo Bo, you need prayer,” I guess it couldn't hurt me If it brings me to my knees It's a bad religion This unrequited love To me it's nothing but a one-man cult And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup I can never make him love me Never make him love me Love It's a bad religion To be in love with someone Who could never love you I know Only bad religion Could have me feeling the way I do

This is a story of longing, of internal conflict and crippling self-doubt. With no one to turn to, Frank resigns to confessing his deepest, most closely guarded truths in the backseat of a taxi, and his thoughts betray the confidence that many of his fans may have prematurely branded him with. These confessional thoughts instead show him in his most fragile state, one in which he seems internalize years of homophobic rhetoric. The stigma that homosexaulity or sexual fluidity is a sin, is amoral, and requires prayer and absolution is so deeply ingrained in society that Frank doesn’t even flinch when the taxi driver basically tells him to pray away his desires. Instead, he chooses grasp onto the suggestion, wondering if maybe he should find a way to detach himself from the unrequited love that has brought him so much pain - whether through religion or drugs. This song is a heart-wrenching discussion of the internal struggle felt by Frank throughout the journey detailed in his letter. Frank’s lyrics expertly navigate self-hate and heartbreak, and his execution features a stunning vocal performance that evokes a deep, soulful pain that feels universally applicable to all humans. 

The second song of importance would be “Forrest Gump”: 

I wanna see your pom poms from the stands Come on, come on My fingertips, and my lips, they burn From the cigarettes Forrest Gump you run my mind boy Running on my mind boy Forrest Gump I know you Forrest I know you wouldn't hurt a beetle But you're so buff, and so strong I'm nervous Forrest Forrest Gump My fingertips, and my lips, they burn From the cigarettes Forrest Gump you run my mind boy Running on my mind boy Forrest Gump I saw ya game, Forrest I was screamin' run 44 But you kept runnin' past the end zone Oh where'd you go Forrest Forrest Gump

If “Bad Religion” - and “Thinkin’ Bout You” before it - were subtle allusions to his bisexuality, “Forrest Gump”, the penultimate track on channel ORANGE, would be the unabashed coming out party. In this song, Frank beautifully covers the timeless love story from the film, Forrest Gump, but through Jenny’s perspective - one that he clearly relates to on a visceral level. In the movie, Jenny and Forrest don’t end up together - but neither did Frank and his love at 19 years of age. In a very literal sense, Forrest Gump is used as a metaphor for a man running away from Frank - referring to the different paths taken by him and the man he fell in love - and this story is another example of unrequited love. But it’s uptempo nature and Frank’s equally light singing paints it in a much different light than “Bad Religion”. Here, there is no self-doubt and he seems to believe the experience of the fling was worth it. It’s the bright result of having grappeld with his emotions throughout the album’s more dark spots. This is essentially Frank fully submerging into his new lifestyle that he explains in his letter as being “a free man”. Similar to his letter, Frank is grateful for the man he fell in love with, regardless of the outcome. 

Despite this album being such a bold statement on his part, highlighting him as an artist that will stand the test of time, I’ve always felt as if its slow and melancholic vibes represent a shyer, younger Frank Ocean. Since releasing his letter and reinventing himself as a free man, the outward projection of his confidence has considerably escalated. Four years after channel ORANGE the fans were finally given a second and third album, simultaneously: Endless and Blonde. I personally cherished these albums, not expecting any new music for yet another few years, but just as I was getting used to the idea of no new Frank music, he released a single on his Beats 1 radio show, Blonded Radio: Chanel. Chanel was released in March 2017, and I can’t think of any way to describe the start of the song, besides epic:

My guy pretty like a girl And he got fight stories to tell I see both sides like Chanel

See on both sides like Chanel

 The Undefeated’s online music review of this song describes these first few lyrics in the following manner: “The boastful first few bars of Ocean’s new song might be the coldest, gayest, and most securely masculine flex in the history of rap. Elegant and mellow, the song’s lyrics read as a deliberate ode to duality and non-heteronormative binaries - an ambition, that since the death of Prince Rogers Nelson, is sorely missed in black music”. Whether I’ve convinced you or not, I truly believe Frank Ocean is an icon. He has made tremendous strides through his music and personal life and his consistently made choices that have positively influenced millions. As a visionary and genius, he’s stood out not only as a singer, but as a writer, a visual artist, and an activist. 

Credit: https://www.gq.com/story/frank-ocean-is-peerless

[get-rammed]

Beasttale

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGINAL BEASTTALE THAT I CREATED A FEW YEARS AGO, AND STOPPED DOING A YEAR AGO. This is aimed at the Beasttale tag, as I know a few have cropped up since I iced mine. So I don't want anyone to think I'm attacking them or the AU they like

A lot of my stuff has been removed from the Beasttale tag making it harder to find me and the things I made. It's annoying. Or been buried. So if this does go into the tag and anyone checking it out sees this, hi. I'm Ram and once upon a time I created a Beasttale and it used to terrorize the tag. It was the most popular version of Beasttale at the time and since has been laid to rest allowing different beasts to grow.

Anyone who grows curious about my AU. It isn't like the current popular one. Mine is unkind and violent. It has its soft moments with my boys. But for the most part it's not for the faint of heart. Don't go in looking for a gentle but scary Sans. You'll come out scarred 😂 Bomber was gentle at times, but he would 100% eat your guts.

I know the 4 of you left from my reign of terror are asking me, "Ram, why the f*ck are you doing this now??" Because I'm bored as f*ck and it's always bothered me that the story I wanted to tell, never came about.

So I'm going to basically explain what the story I had planned was. This will be confusing as I'm going to go over ideas I teased and or introduced, but either didn't explain well enough, or did nothing. Also some ideas I never talked about. I'll do some fun facts at the bottom about Boys that I designed, but never implemented, and some other odd ideas I had.

Tldr; Bomberboy (Sans), was an experiment of Gasters. He had a human soul shard (Perseverance) along with 4 other monsters in his soul and brain, which is why he's a mess. BB shoved Gaster into the CORE, which corrupted the dimension. It made everyone big and a little meaner. But not too far as at the time I was too scared to go too far on anyone but Sans and Alphys. After that it's just basic Undertale plot. I'd do it all differently now. Tone down the violence and edge a bit…but increase the beast design a bit. But not too much. I'll explain later. 

I’m just going to warn everyone now that is about as professional as literally anything else I have ever written. Sorry. It goes from explaining sh*t to like, almost storytelling and whoops. I'm not very good at this. Imagine a lot of hand motions as you read. This is years of story that I've been sitting on. Just. Work with me here. A lot of these ideas are very very old. The original name for Beasttale was Testtale. Name got changed because me and a friend couldn't stop laughing because testicle. We're adults I promise. 

This whole thing takes place over nine years in universe. So I condensed the sh*t out of my ideas and it's all very rushed and bad. Forgive me. This isn't supposed to be written like a story. It's supposed to be written like I'm explaining things at him point 😂

Alright, alright, alright. So to start off. After reading the entries you can find in the hidden lab, and the idea that Gaster wrote them, I came to the conclusion that he was a massive asshole. As you do. Which is why Bomber hates him, and why I personally made him a massive prick. I like the idea of Dadster, but like, I had edgy designs, I had to have a reason for them. I had to have a reason for the scars Bomber had.

After an unknown helicopter pilot crashed ((this character does not exist in the universe of Undertale. She was made for this AU)), and subsequently went into a cave for safety, only to fall into the Underground, she was killed by Asgore. She fought as hard as she could, but she could do nothing against the powerful monster. Her soul was safely harvested and stored.

Asgore made the lie about needing 7 souls, which Gaster said he would corroborate if he was allowed access to one of the souls as they had 6 at the time. ((Another perseverance SOUL bearer falls shortly after. Which is how there are 6 SOULs by the time Frisk rolls around)) Asgore had two choices. He could deny access, in which case, Gaster tells everyone that any boss monster could easily open the way. Or allow him access. Of course Gaster reminded him that if the soul goes missing, then Monsters are trapped longer, which is what Asgore wants. Soul goes “missing”, Asgore claims it’s due to a small leak in the container, Gaster gets his soul and his plan goes into action.

A lot of Monster children just wander freely around the Underground because it’s safe! Monsters wouldn’t hurt other Monsters. Right? Well. Gaster is his own kind of breed. He’s very jaded from the war. Mentally broken. Saw a lot of good Monsters slaughtered. Has no empathy left for anyone. He casually snatches two kids that wander too close to his lab. A little skeleton, Sans, and a small lizard with no arms, Alphys. Something of note. I liked the idea of Alphys being Monster Kids older sister. So she lacks arms for this first bit. This was literally never mentioned at any point and if I do DeltaBeast stuff, Alphys will lack arms. It was a mistake on my part to give them to her in the singular piece of art that exists at this time.

Alphys is locked away as Gaster focuses on the mouthy little skeleton. Experiments on the kid. See how much he can handle before he needs a break. Then push him further the next time. Gaster is trying to make a monster that can break the barrier, and destroy humans. Sans, or J-5, as he was called in those years trapped with gaster, was hopefully going to be that monster.

Basic details for this as the actual details of the experiments were never really thought out. But I guess they could include. Breaking his bones and seeing how long magic took to heal them. Forcing him to fight rabid animals and see what he would do (mind you Sans would have been 10 when Gaster traps him). He fights them to protect himself. Physical attacks hurt. He's got a lot of tiny scars from them. Force him to fight for his life against half melted monsters. These he doesn't fight. Mentally and physically beat it into the kid that he fights or Gaster will hurt Alphys ((Which during this time she was just subject to SOUL testing as Sans always offered himself for the harder stuff)). All to get him to a fallen state so he can alter his SOUL. Things get worse later.

Sans isn't considered a boss monster here, and Gaster knows this. Giving Sans a full human soul would just kill him. Can't have that. Gaster has put too much time and effort into this experiment at this point. It's been a good three year of nonstop tests and beatdowns for Sans. He's ready. Gaster pulls out Sans soul and tears part of it away, slowly, carefully. Then wedges the human soul in its place. The piece doesn't fit right, but Sans also isn't dead yet. But blah blah blah, he's not strong enough to hold it and he starts melting down. Perfect. Time for phase 2.

Experiments J-1-4 were all failures. Note. It varies on AU on how many extra monsters were added to the boys. The monsters inside is what defines their heat form. Anyone remember that post with their forms that had some floating heads around them? Yeah. Extra note. The four monsters in Sans do not have names. They have designs, but any personality or names do not exist. Nor will ever exist. None could hold a shard of the human soul. But. Five monsters together trying to hold a soul? It might just work. Which it does obviously. He's kept all the failures in a state of falling down but not dead. Similar to the abominations in the lab currently. Alphys followed Gaster on accident. Just in a nicer way.

Sans is unconscious the whole time and remains as such for a few days. Gaster now waits as the tiny skeleton is reformed. It's boring. He's going to start up experiments on him when Alphys basically tells him to f*ck off and leave Sans alone. Which is when he turns his attention to her. 

Now he wants a fair fight for Sans when's out and about. Sans needs a watcher or guardian ot some form to regulate his ideas. So now it's Alphys' turn for the f*ckery. Beat the snot out of her. Pitch her against other monsters. See how well she fights. Similar to Sans, she refuses to fight. When she can't take anymore Gaster stops the fight. Casually pops her soul out and just as casually slices it up and wedges the little piece of Sans in. Forcibly bonding the two in a way no one else understands. It's not like a mated bond kinda thing. It's a connection akin to siblings on the same wavelength.

This finally wakes Sans up. The whole time he was stuck in a dream with the new voices in his head. They're all super unhappy and they all want to use Sans to get back at Gaster. The sudden added weight of Alphys' fear and anxiety gets him on his feet. Alphys can feel the terror and confusion from Sans. She can't feel the others, just him. Gaster f*cks about with her soul and essentially her DNA. She's got arms now. They're painful and new. She hates them. Gaster did what he set out to do that day and tosses Alphys back in with Sans. Mostly to see what happens.

Sans is on his feet, but he's lost and with so many trying to fight for control right now, he's basically stuck where he stands. He wants to move to comfort Alphys, his friend is crying and needs comfort. The way she comforted him every day. Every voice in his head is screaming to attack. But he doesn't. He's stronger than them. It's his body dang it. Comfort that crying lizard. It's like a mutual thing. She feels better, so now he does. Gasters happy. Alphys can still be used as a safety shield then. He lets them rest. The coming years have a lot in store.

Honestly he lets them rest for a few days. But when he thinks they've had enough, barges in. At this point Sans is halfway to his Meltdown form. A form that has never been posted or ever mentioned. So don't go looking. I might post art of old concepts if enough people are curious. Teeth growing out of his head, fur and slime showing up all over his body. He's beautiful to Gaster. It worked perfectly. Keep in mind a lot of ideas for SOULs I made on my own. SOULs would kind of be like their whole genetic code, but you can easily alter it if you know how. Which is what he was testing on Alphys for. 

Alphys sprouted feathers where her spikes used to be down the back of her head. Sans is now considered a Boss monster and Alphys a significantly stronger monster.

Sans has the strength to pull out of Gasters grip. Which gets him chained up. Which is how he got the scars on his wrists and ankles. Sans can't really do much besides pull away or mutter. Too much noise in his head. He can barely walk and is basically dragged. Alphys is trying her best to break out of Gasters grip because she has no idea what the plan is. But she knows it's not going to be good. Both her and Sans are different now. She's terrified. Sans just kinda stops and this causes Gaster to basically trip and nearly fall. Loses his grip for less than a second and Alphys tries to take off. Gets her new much longer tall grabbed. Scars from that.

Yay finally testing room. Seat them both in separate halves of the room. They can see one another, but can't hear the other or get to them. Answer some basic questions. How are you feeling and sh*t like that. Alphys is currently mortified and can't speak. Sans just can't speak. He can't even focus on anything. The person asking the questions is told to be ruder, ask more invasive questions. Things to rile up either of them. Nothing. "What would your parents think of you now?" Alphys starts crying. Gaster is testing for something specific right now. 

"Do you think they would recognize you?" Crying harder. "What do you think your little brother would say?" Now she's mad. Looks through the mirrored glass and tells Gaster to leave him out of this. Ranting. Years of pent up anger and frustration. Guards are coming in as she threatens the scientists and guards with her chair. Sans starts purring and chattering on his side. The panic is evident on what remains of his face. Alphys calms down out of her rant as Sans continues to calm himself. Gaster is mentally fist bumping himself. Perfect SOUL bond.

"They're both calm. Go back in and do what you have to, to get number five to break containment." Guards go back in and well. Sorry Alphys. Few more scars and another beat down. 

Sans is pretty quick to get up. Easily nudging his scientist down out of his way. He realizes he can't break the glass or break the wall with physical attacks. But magic. He got that good burn in his gut and zoop. He's got the ability to teleport now. Not what he was aiming for but it works. Gaster is so excited he might just do a little dance.

Easily knock the guards out of the way and hiss at them. Then comfort friend. Gather her into his arms and scooch into a corner where no one can touch her. Gaster is pleased with the results found, but he wants to do some physical testing with J-5. Instead of like, asking him to come along, Gaster goes the harder route. Uses a hook he's used before to move experiments. Hook it on their mouth and  pull them along. Well. J-5 is a little...soft inside right now. The hook slides through the roof of his mouth and just knocks right through his right lateral incisor. Which is how Bomber lost that tooth :) also why he's not keen on it being touched. It still hurts him a lot.

To the absolute horror of everyone in the room, including Gaster. J-5 starts bleeding. Blood just pouring from his mouth. Everyone is a gangster until a magic monster starts bleeding red blood. No one wants to touch him or the blood. Gaster basically grabs the broken tooth and acts like he didn't just internally scream. "Recontain them. Quarantine J-five. Decontaminate J-six and quarantine it as well."

Gaster does some testing and yeah, the blood is human and Sans' bone is partially human. So now he can survive at least some physical attacks from a human. Which funny enough. One just fell the other day. ((This Human has no name, and isn't important outside of the thing coming up))  The Guards are having issues locating the Human as they seemingly "vanished". Gaster literally just stood outside of Toriel's door and waited till it closed to grab them before the guards got there.

Sans is just tied to a bed. Chilling. Left alone with the new guys in his head. They want to dust everyone. They just keep chanting at him to kill. Kid is thirteen. He doesn't know what to do here. Maybe he should do as they're saying. Human in his head is like "dude. f*ck those guys. If you wanted to kill everyone you'd have done it. Just hang tight. We're all in this together now whether we wanted to be or not. We'll get out of this." Thanks dead human lady :D

Others don't listen. They're J-1,2,3,4. They've all lost it. They over power Sans internally and now he enters Meltdown mode. Full Meltdown. So he's an abomination of parts and teeth. He's f*cking strong. I mean, come on. Scientists had him held down with some cheap rope. Should be happy it held him down as long as it did.

Meltdown can't walk to save their lives. So they crawl. Large sticky arms that drag the dead weight of the legs and tail. Someone is trying to figure out how to leg while everyone else focuses on crawling to the door. Legs are moving. They use the door as leverage to help them up to their feet. Wobbly but they can move and attack efficiently.

First scientist spotted is blindsided. Meltdown crashes through them and immediately dusts them upon contact. Some others see this and the laboratory enters shut down. Gaster is alerted. Meltdown has killed a few more and is shambling around trying to find more to kill. There are thick plates going up their back. The ones near the tail are glowing purple. It's slowly traveling up their back through the spikes. I'm sorry but the effect looked really good in the most recent Godzilla movie.

Gaster finds and corners them when the glow is at the base of their neck. He immediately recognizes this is going to be bad and ducks out of the hall. Glow is all the way up and a purple laser beam shoots down the hall where Gaster had been standing. It hits a few people further down the hall and kills them. Melts through the metal at the end of the hall. This attack tires Meltdown out and brings Sans back to pilot his own body.

After that incident Sans is muzzled, chained, and monitored at all times. He's kept sedated until Gaster needs him. Like literally the day after the incident he throws Sans into a cage with the Human they had nabbed. Gaster tells the Human if they want to live, they have to fight the abomination in front of them. Sans tries to convey that he doesn't want to fight, but you know how people can be. Hits Sans pretty good in the head with a metal bar. The attack incites Meltdown. Which leads to a big laser beam, a very dead Human, and very shattered SOUL. 

Three years later, Sans is 16, and is basically stuck in the back seat of his own body. The other four have had the controls basically since the Human test subject. Gaster just wakes Meltdown up to test the laser, and take some notes. Then knocks them out again. Notes have been used to make the Gaster Blasters. They're not ready to be used. Get to that in a minute.

While Meltdown is unconscious, Gaster has been teaching Alphys her duties. She's basically there to make sure Meltdown doesn't have another, well, meltdown. There to offer energy and help if needed. There to keep the beast under control. She can be replaced is what he always told her. Reality is, she couldn't have been, because any more chunks of SOUL taken from Sans would have killed him. 

With Alphys finally brainwashed, she had no moral support the last three years, he moves onto Meltdown. Alphys is the only person Meltdown will listen to and the only one they will not attack on site. She can easily get them in and out of testing chambers. Get them to cooperate and not hurt anyone. To Gaster they're almost ready. He just needs to finish up his weapons. 

Next three years, both are 19, and are a lot calmer. With the both of them listening and cooperating at all times, Gaster is able to focus on his Gaster Blasters. He's got an ego. It took the past three years to build the shells and make sure the laser function worked. Once he was ready he did a test. Added what remained of J-2's SOUL to the machine. It worked, J-2 was within the Balster, and was awaiting commands. Perfect. But they didn't listen to Gaster. Instead stared at him until he gave up. Muzzled the massive skull and went to find Alphys.

The skull acknowledged her, but wouldn't respond to her commands. J-2 doesn't acknowledge or respond to Meltdown. It's highly annoying to Gaster as part of who is controlling Meltdown is literally in the Blaster. J-2 won't acknowledge anyone in the laboratory. Even tried a few civilians under the guise of it being to open the barrier. Nothing. King? Nope. His guards? Nada.  Gives up for now. He has to do something else. These Blasters were supposed to be his weapons of mass destruction, but they listen to no one. 

Except for when one little badger skeleton walks in. He heard about the big skull and he wanted to see what the fuss was about. Says his name is Papyrus, who is 17. J-2 responds to the name and acknowledges Papyrus. Doesn't listen to him, but it's something.

Gaster is very friendly with Papyrus. Trying a different tactic. J-2 follows Papyrus around, sniffing him, but still won't listen to him. Gaster decides to ask around. Having two little animal skeletons can't be just a coincidence. Asks around, and no one knows where they came from, and a lot of people have just been taking care of Papyrus when Sans went missing. Papyrus is treated like a guest not an experiment. Even helps Gaster produce three more Gaster Blasters.

Gaster takes a few more months to figure out that maybe he needs Sans, not Meltdown. Tries a kind tactic to help Sans become himself again. Both physically and mentally. Doesn't work real well. Sans has been just existing for the last 3 years. He's not strong enough to fight the other 4. Gaster figures maybe they want some revenge. Some dust. Gathers up some poor monsters and throws masks on them that match his own. Let's Meltdown loose. *jazz hands* lots of innocent monsters die in a pretty bad way. But Meltdown calms downs a lot after.

A lot of the extra monster bits melt back down and Sans looks like a human skeleton now. He's kept the sharp teeth, little tail and claws. Sans doesn't remember how to walk or talk anymore. It takes a few weeks to get him to walk again, and a lot more to talk normally. Alphys is very happy to see him and helps out where she can. She can feel that Sans is just playing along with what Gaster wants, waiting for his moment. She says nothing to Gaster. 

Sans is very very unhappy when he finds out about Papyrus being there now too. Gaster of course has been very kind to Papyrus. Which helps keep Sans calmer. But now he really wants out. Gaster tries out the Blasters with Sans.

The Blasters listened to him. They did everything he asked. Gaster isn't an idiot, he's in a different part of the lab, and Sans is down in the CORE. It takes a few weeks, but Sans can control the Blasters almost perfectly. Power cuts out because another Human has fallen. Gaster of course books it down into the CORE. Bad move.

Sans is ready for him and ambushes him. Shoves Gaster to the edge of the magma, but he manages to save himself from falling. All the skulls are pointed at Gaster. Gaster taunts Sans and tells him he never had it in him to kill someone. It was never him who hurt anyone. He's too weak to finish this now. Well. Sans has had a lot of time, he has no issue shoving Gaster into the CORE. Gaster's claws just hit Sans' right cheek as he falls. Earning him his other facial scars. Very sensitive ones that hurt on cold days. 

Gaster fell right as the human did. It f*cked with the code of the world. Gaster couldn't actually die. He's stuck in a forever melting loop. His hostility and actual monstrous form infected the code of the world. Everyone gets much bigger, much more edgy, and a whole lot more aggressive. Gaster is forgotten and the history of the world has changed. Since Sans was the one there the whole time, he forgot nothing.

Sans wakes up in Snowdin. Wearing a sweater he's never seen and pants he didn't like. He tries to find Alphys. He's terrified. She can tell and makes her way to Snowdin. He asks what's going on and she's very confused. Walks him back to the lab. It looks nothing like it just did for him. It looked so small from the outside. Inside was so tiny. There was nothing there but some robot parts.

He has a breakdown and Alphys hugs him close. When he's feeling better he explains what's going on. She stares at him for a few minutes just blankly. Her eyes saying she's reliving everything, but eventually she smiles at him and says she doesn't know what he's talking about. She can't explain her scars. What are you talking about, she's always had her arms. She offers for him to stay the night and have dinner with her. To see if he feels better in the morning.

Mettaton comes by. He's a super early model and has a few issues. Mettaton is offended Sans is there, but ignores him to whine to Alphys. Sans mumbles out what Alphys can fix to make the weight lessened. Everyone is surprised. Sans most of all. He's literally never worked in robotics. Mettaton laughs because everyone knows Sans is a lazy f*cker. No way he does robotics. Alphys shoos Mettaton away.

For the first time since he first ended up in the lab. He cried. Cried for all the years he was stuck inside his head as a passenger. Cried for everything that happened. Cried because he doesn't know where he is. Almost doesn't even know who he is. Alphys held him tightly the whole time. She doesn't know what's going on. He's never had a fit like this before. Small ones, but never this bad. 

He ends up crying himself to sleep and Alphys makes him some food for when he wakes up. Checks his numbers while he sleeps. Yeah, what he said could actually lessen the weight a lot. Crazy dude. 

To Alphys this is strange. Sans was his normal hostile and idiot self yesterday. Today he's intelligent and an emotional mess. She can't explain it, and just leaves it how it is. Reality is that Gaster is chilling behind her muttering things she can't hear out loud so she thinks a certain way. 

He stays a few days until Papyrus comes and finds him. Sans doesn't feel much for Papyrus as for Sans, it's been years since he saw Papyrus. It's only been a few days for the tall now human looking skeleton. 

Sans starts to realize over a few weeks that some days and moments seem to repeat. But he's still fine the whole time. Papyrus doing the same exact thing every morning. The people of Snowdin doing the same thing. He doesn't think anything of it until a big f*cking plant attacks Snowdin, killing everyone but him. He manages to keep the roots away with a stick when a little sh*tty flower pops out.

"Who in the sandy f*ck are you?" Flowey isn't super happy because everything is supposed to always be the same. There is no way in heck this guy has ever once been outside of his house during this attack. Flowey knows something is wrong. This guy isn't normal. Even when the world is paused, this skeleton is moving away from him. Time to f*ck with him.

Sans ends up dying a lot to Flowey over the next few months, which is just the same week on loop. Until Sans figures out, well sh*t. This guy has time powers or something. He's also had enough. He can't watch his friends die anymore. He has to teach this little brat that he's not the only one who can do neat tricks. Flowey pops up to greet him only to get laser blasted and the world resets back to the start of the week. Sans starts keeping a journal after that. Things he notices, things that don't change, things that do. Also starts seeing just how powerful he is. He's got plenty of time as Flowey keeps away from him now and is messing about with someone else now. 

Sans figures out he can teleport on accident. He trips and accidentally teleports to the waterfall area. He thinks it's activated by severe panic. Until he starts experimenting a bit and realizes he can activate it whenever. First time was when he encounters the void. The dark space between areas. The stink of wet earth and whatever else I said the void smelled like. That's the first time he sees Gaster again. But the guy is now a pile of goop with a mask melted to it.

Gaster has nothing worry to say. So he just watches. Then in his left eye hole is a bunch of tiny eyes that open to stare. Which scared the ever loving sh*t out of Sans. More Gasters appear in the void over time and he starts seeing different versions of himself. He tried talking to one once, but the Gasters started shrieking. He doesn't stay too long in the void space after that.

Sans finds out about his gravity powers on accident as well. Papyrus falls and Sans tries to catch him, but misses. His power activates obviously. Papyrus is confused but also super excited because yoU CAN DO THAT TOO?! Papyrus teaches Sans how to properly use the ability. Sans finds out through this that Papyrus has anomalous abilities as well. Papyrus is able to defy gravity entirely and walk on air. But the biggest punch to the gut is that Papyrus can summon and use the Gaster Blasters. He doesn't like to because they're so devastating, but he will if he absolutely has to. Papyrus has no soul damage at all, so he just befriended the Blasters so they come to his aide.

Sans is unable to defy gravity as Papyrus does, but he can float just a bit. It tires him out pretty quickly. He finds that a lot of things do. Sleeps a lot of days. Finds out the hard way that he only has 1 HP left after everything that's happened to him.

Sans has been living for five years in this crazy loop thing. But it's only been 2 years in reality. He's 20 now. Going to be 21 soon. But he's tired. Broken down to the skeleton we know. He's got no fight left in him. Flowey is bored of him and bored of everything, so he finally let's time move normally.

It's September 15th and a human has just fallen. Word spreads pretty quickly. Sans is curious. He wants to meet this one. Mostly because he's never seen Flowey panic before. He wants to go inside the old ruins, but he's never met Toriel and from his understanding it's her home. It would be weird.

So he just hangs out in some trees outside the door, waiting. He finds out that his sense of smell is crazy strong pretty early on, but he didn't know he could smell humans so strongly. He recognized another scent on the human before they even made it to the door. Dust. This human had killed monsters on their way here. Now he's worried. 

This human seems off somehow. Like they're not in control of themselves. He accidentally falls out of the tree making a fair bit of noise. Now he feels like he has to introduce himself because they're 100% staring at him rn. 

He's super friendly and tries to be nice. But this kid is weird. Stares through him and doesn't take his offer at a hand shake. He sees them pull out a knife and easily dodges the attack. In a panic he attacks back. Which yeah. That early on a Blaster shot would kill Frisk. 

He's reset to his home. It's the same moment from when the Human fell. Which it doesn't take much for him to figure out the kid has the time powers now. 

And after a few attempted Genocide runs, a few attempted Passive runs, Frisk finally does the good ending correctly. Sans is pretty friendly through the whole thing as he doesn't fully grasp that Frisk can reset to the starting point whenever they want. Flowey only did week or month loops. Frisk does years. He can't remember exact things like he could in Flowey's days. He can only remember ideas and some people. He writes a lot of things down after that. Important information. Dangerous people and things like that. 

He's happy and everything's fine until he wakes up standing on his porch in Snowdin one day. Frisk is doing a Genocide run and that's when Sans learns that there's nothing he can do. So he gets into a routine. Figures out how each possible ending goes. Sticks to a script. Gets a lot more aggressive and starts to lack empathy with each passing run.

Until he meets you on an off chance in a good run. It's random locations. Never the same. But something about you always draws him. Like you're something that can make him happy again. He's not excited about it though. It won't last. Frisk will just take it from him one day. Yet he still runs into you every good run somehow. He does get excited for good runs after a time just because he wants to see you.

And that's essentially the story I wanted to tell. The messy slapped down quick version anyhow. It's confusing sorry, but ahhhhhhhhh. 

FUN FACTS (Aka I ramble about sh*t that is not actually fun)

Unorganized because that's my life.

The monsters that become J-1, J-2, J-3, and J-4 I'm aware I said this up top just hush do not have names or personalities. They have designs made up, but they weren't ever properly introduced literally at any point. GG me. Honestly at this point they're just aggressive blobs anyhow so….

Hi

So all the Beasttale's I saw in the tag have the Gaster Blaster heads. An now I know none of you care, but I'm telling you anyways on why I personally didn't do it. Keep in mind my Beasttale was created a few months after Undertale came out. At the time, there were no Gaster Blaster head AUs or if there were, they weren't popular yet or I didn't know about them. Bomberboy was originally a bara Sans. Which is why he was never beasty looking outside of the claws, teeth, and tail. Plus this bit*h couldn't draw animal heads at the time. For me now it seems like a cop out. Slap an animal head on and bam. It's a beast. That's no fun. For me it seems lazy but I understand why with beast in the name. I personally like the idea of beast being a more metaphorical thing.

Bombers design came about in an art trade. I didn't like the idea of just scaling Sans up to make a bara version, so I made my own. Used the design until I figured out his name and an arbitrary AU name to slap on him. At the time Beasttale was nothing more than a place to stick my own bara Sans. People started asking about him and the others, and so it expanded from there :’)

Bomberboy got his name from an unused AU idea I had about planes. Don't talk about it. He got his name from a bomber jacket...anyways I dropped the AU in favor of drawing large monsters. Bara Sans was popular at the time which is how I started.

I have literally no memory of why he was ever drawn with scars. I think to make him more intense maybe? Idk??? Either way they spawned the story I was aiming for but never got to.

The g*re/hard v*re aspect was never originally intended. I posted art saying something like ‘you have a 50/50 chance of dying when f*cking him’. I honestly don't remember why I added that comment, but either way everyone immediately hit me with that ‘OwO what's this?’ and it went downhill from there. 

I never meant for Bomber to be as violent as he got. Again it kinda went downhill really f*cking fast. It'd be something that if I made him right now, I'd have scaled back on. I just wanted him to be an a*shole and he shot past that marker 😂 I did however make sure he was never r*pey, or physically abusive. He was a horny boy, but never super forceful. He was however mentally manipulative as at the time I had a lot going on. He's gross and he was designed that way.

There was a Glitchboy, who would be a BeastBoy of Error. His design was finished, and I fully intended on introducing him, but by the time I was going to, I found I didn't really care for the original, which made it hard to love my version. I think I was just going to do it to show how the power works in my Beast AUs. Which is why I was never attached. First to last created is how it works. First being strongest, last being weakest. Cherryboy (Beastfell), Bomberboy (Beasttale), Hotboi (Beastlust), Canine (Beastswap) and Loverboy (Horrorbeast) ((Canine and Lover were made too close together for me or Sil to remember who came first, so they are tied for power)), and finally Towelboy (Dancebeast).

I liked Alphys, and the idea of her and Sans being friends. Which is why she is featured heavily in the ideas for the AU, and why I've drawn the two together so often

Bombers distaste for other AUs comes from me. Some AUs I take a liking to, but after seeing some content I don’t really agree with coming out of most AUs, I kinda dipped on them. Which is why he can tolerate Beast versions, but not their normal OG counterparts.

I had started a comic for the origins of Bomber and Alphys, but if you’ve been here a while, you know I’m f*cking lazy when it comes to my art >:'D

At some point there were like, ancient versions of the main crew. They were Gasters friends and upon their death he turned them into Alphys, Sans, Papyrus, and Undyne. The idea was scrapped and the designs were reused for Beastswapfell. 

Speaking of which. Beastswapfell was always intended to be an unstable weird AU. The regular fellswap or swapfell never appealed to me. Plus cross too many AUs and things get unfocused. 

Frisk always in any Beast AU has red eyes and Chara has brown. Why? The one time we see Chara up close, they have brown eyes. When Frisk opens their eyes in the bad version of the good end, they have red eyes. I know it's to show them being evil or whatever. But it's more fun to imagine them always having red eyes

It annoys me to no end that Sans got the cool beast thing going but no one else did. But, no one came to me for a beasty Alphys or Toriel did they. We're all here for the chunky skeleton. It's actually why I had to create a reason for Sans being how he is. He's the only one like himself. Which wasn't the original plan, but by the time the heat form rolled around, I had so many different designs for so many different characters that I wasn't about to do that to myself…

A lot of stuff was created while listening to Lauren Bousfield and Andrew Jackson Jihad (AJJ for the newer fans). So like. Yeah.

Sans and Papyrus would have been animal skeletons as kids. Sans a cat and Papyrus a badger. Magic just kinda, gave some skeletons life. This plotline was scrapped forever ago. I don't remember why. 

Bomber doesn't drink ketchup. He did it to f*ck with Frisk. Across multiple timelines because he's f*cking bored. 

I made it canon at one point that Bomber can snap and will kill everyone before Frisk does if certain requirements are met. His fight is unbeatable then. He's LOVE 20. Frisk is 0. Fight doesn't go well.

The boys heat forms all vary because drawing 6 giant pointy skeletons is f*cking boring. Go big or go home.

Canine when in heat would have sounded like  OG King Ghidorah. Love me some f*cking BIDIDIDIDI

When Sans or Papyrus die, the Gaster Blaster eye that correlates to them, will have an X in it. When looking directly at the Blasters, Gasters eye is in the center, Sans on the left, and Papyrus on the right. Gaster's eye has a pointy oval shape with a dot in the center at all times.

Monsters in this AU are incredibly lightweight. Sans would weigh all of 50 pounds. Monsters are made of magic, which has little weight. They have to eat physical things to gain some mass. Before the underground the monsters ate humans as a retaliation and because humans contained magic nutrition and physical nutrition. Older monsters still have cravings, but almost all current Monsters don't have any interest in humans for food. Sans is just ravenous and always hungry. He won't go out of his way to eat a human, but if the opportunity presents itself well...yeah.

Papyrus can and will use the Gaster Blasters if Frisk does at least three genocide runs in a row. He doesn't know why, but he just knows he has to stop them before they hit him. So he lasers their a*s the second they enter his fight. Beasttale has unfair moves in the fights 😂

The world can glitch and you are able to fall down at the same time as Frisk. Because of plot, you override Frisk and their abilities. Which forces them to tag along you and your choices. Bomber is always hurt seeing you coming out of the ruins with dust on your pants. You don't encounter him until you're at the castle if you hurt Monsters on your way. No dust means he basically glued himself to your side. Partly to keep an eye on you, partly to get close to you.

Bomber and Frisk have a rocky relationship. He knows they've done bad sh*t, but he can never remember what. This distrust can be overridden with a few good runs in a row. He forgets. Or acts like he does. He's got his journal. Says on one page that Frisk aggressively ran in circles until Monsters checked to see if they were okay. Only to be attacked by Frisk.

The picture in that you can find in the game doesn't have whatever the speculation was. I think people thought it was the good end picture that Sans has. For Beasttale it's the four monsters that now reside in Sans, posing with Gaster. They're happy. Don't know what they're about to go through. There's an old picture on my blog somewhere that looks like this, but the picture isn't canon anymore as it has Sans and Papyrus. It follows a different plot point that was scrapped shortly after the art was made.

Less of a fun fact and more of a flex. I never got any hate or flak for my choices with my AUs. Which I mean, is super surprising. Seriously. Not once was I sent a hateful message in my whole time of having this blog. I feel like that says something about my followers then and now. So thank you for suffering through my AU with me 💕 I'm sure after reading this whole thing you'll feel like you wasted your time and you're welcome. I'm glad I can still waste people's time 😂

You know who's cute? The girl I forced to beta read this 👀

[soospiritualjourney]

THE ART OF SIMPLE LIVING by Shunmyo Masuno

Nowadays, many people have lost their footing—they are worried and confused about how to live their lives. That is why they seek out the extraordinary, in an attempt to reset their mental balance.

But. Still.

Even once you have pushed reset, the extraordinary remains outside of the everyday.

When you return to your regular life, stress accumulates, and the mind frays. Feeling burdened, again you seek out the extraordinary. Does this never-ending cycle sound familiar?

No matter how much you lament the complexities of life, changing the world is no simple task.

If the world is not going the way you want it to, perhaps it is better to change yourself.

Then, whatever world you encounter, you can move through it comfortably and with ease.

Instead of going out of your way to seek the extraordinary, what if you could live in a more carefree way, just by subtly changing your regular, everyday life?

This book is about just that: simple living, Zen style.

Changing your lifestyle doesn’t need to be difficult.

Slight changes in your habits. A subtle shift in your perspective.

You don’t need to go to the ancient Japanese capitals of Kyoto or Nara; you don’t need to climb Mount Fuji; and you don’t need to live near the ocean. With really only minor effort, it is possible to savor the extraordinary.

In this book, I will show you how to do so, with the help of Zen.

Zen is based on teachings that are fundamentally about how humans can live in the world.

In other words, Zen is about habits, ideas, and hints for living a happy life. A treasure trove, if you will, of deep yet simple life wisdom.

(1) Each day is not the same.

I rise each morning at 5:00, and the first thing I do is fill my lungs with the morning air. As I walk around the temple’s main hall, reception hall, and priest’s quarters, opening the rain shutters, my body experiences the changes of the seasons. At 6:30 I perform the Buddhist liturgy by chanting scripture, and then I have breakfast. What follows is whatever the business of that particular day is.

The same process repeats itself every day, but each day is not the same. The taste of the morning air, the moment when the morning sunlight arrives, the touch of the breeze on your cheek, the color of the sky and of the leaves on the trees—everything is constantly shifting. Morning is the time when you can thoroughly experience these changes.

(2) Part with old things before acquiring new ones.

When things aren’t going well, we tend to think we are lacking in something. But if we want to change our current situation, we should first part with something before we look to acquire something else. This is a fundamental tenet of simple living.

Discard your attachments. Let go of your assumptions. Reduce your possessions. Living simply is also about discarding your physical and mental burdens.

The act of discarding, of detaching from mental and physical burdens, from the baggage that weighs us down, is extremely difficult. Sometimes it can be accompanied by real pain, as when we part with someone who is dear to us.

But if you want to improve the way things are, if you want to live with a light heart, you must start by discarding. The moment you detach, a new abundance will flow into your life.

(3) When we eliminate effort, we eliminate life’s pleasures.

What do you do when you want a cup of coffee? If you’re at home, you turn on the coffeemaker. Or if you’re out, you get a cheap cup of coffee. These are both perfectly natural.

But imagine a different scenario.

First, you go out into the woods and collect firewood. You make a fire and boil water. As you grind the coffee beans, you look up at the sky and say, “What a beautiful day.”

Coffee brewed this way is likely to taste much better than coffee from a machine. The reason why, perhaps, is because each step in the process has been brought to life—collecting firewood, starting the fire, grinding the beans. There is nothing extraneous in any of these actions. That is what I call living.

Life requires time and effort. That is to say, when we eliminate time and effort, we eliminate life’s pleasures.

Every so often, experience the flip side of convenience.

(4) Acquiring lots of things isn’t freedom. What’s important is acquiring the mind-set of using things freely.

(5) Whatever it is you’re doing, be grateful for the opportunity. Be happy for the chance to do the work. I don’t mean to sound idealistic here—I’m merely repeating what many great men and women have said before.

If you believe that a task is being forced upon you, then you will see the work as a burden, and it will arouse negative feelings. It is the same in the practice of Zen. The moment you find yourself asking “Why do I have to tidy the garden every morning?” is the moment your training becomes meaningless. Everything we do as human beings is precious. If we are to find meaning in what we do, we must first become our own protagonist in the work. You have the leading role in your work. If you approach work with this attitude, all work becomes meaningful and invaluable.

(6) In anything, the hard part is just to keep going.

(7) You can start something as long as you have the energy. Finishing, too, is easy. The hard part is just to keep going. If you tell yourself, day in and day out, that something is wrong for you, then how will it ever be right for you?

We have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. We envy the light workload of our neighbor. We see someone who is talented and get depressed. But, ultimately, there is pleasure to be found in the repetition of work that suits you.

(8) Life doesn’t always go smoothly. Our efforts sometimes go unrewarded. Despite this, try to believe in yourself and do your best. Do not fear moving forward.

(9) Whether you’re worried about jobs or interpersonal relationships, if you keep everything in your head, you just allow feelings like “I can’t do this” or “That’ll never work” to take hold.

But if you leap into it with both feet, you may be surprised by how easy it is to accomplish something or to come up with a solution. Just like with bungee jumping or riding a roller coaster, the scariest part is not the doing but the moment right before it.

Be honest: Do you plant the seeds of your own anxiety?

It’s a waste of time to get lost in a labyrinth of your own making.

Instead, direct your energies to the reality you’re facing and take one step at a time.

(10) Hard work and perseverance. Some people frown whenever they hear these words.

You may be wondering, “What purpose do they serve?” They serve your own.

When we work hard with our head, heart, and body, we cannot help but grow stronger. We become better equipped to respond to life with a supple mind.

(11) SKILLFULLY DETACH. “Pay no attention” is also Buddhist wisdom.

(12) To live freely, we must acquire an unfettered mind.

(13) And when it’s time to make the final adjustments, it’s best to do it alone.

Decisiveness is about having the ability to trust in yourself.

(14) BE HERE NOW. The you of a moment ago is the past you. What is important is this day, this hour, this moment.

(15) BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERY DAY, EVEN THE MOST ORDINARY.

The happiness to be found in the unremarkable.

(16) The uncertainty of tomorrow makes it all the more important to live in the moment. One must try one’s best to enjoy the present.

(17) Let us make today and every precious day a good day.

(18) By simply recognizing that we are fulfilled, our suffering is greatly diminished.

If you find yourself swept up in feelings of dissatisfaction, take a step back and examine what you hope for and desire. And then ask yourself, “Is that something I truly need?”

(19) By the same token, do not place a value judgment on what you are doing in the moment. Take, for example, breathing: You cannot deem your breathing to be good or bad. Just as you draw one breath after another, perform the routine habitually. Attempting to define things as good or bad breeds worry and stress.

(20) We cannot change what happens in life, but it is within our power to decide how to deal with what happens.

It’s about preparing yourself. That is, it’s about accepting reality for what it is.

Seeing things as they are. Accepting things as they are.

This might sound like giving up, but in fact it is quite the opposite.

(21) Everything will be all right. You’ve made it this far already, haven’t you?

(22) CHERISH BEING ALIVE, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Life really does go by in the blink of an eye.

(23) Come now, open your eyes.

What kind of day should we make today?

(24) PUT YOUR EVERYTHING INTO THE HERE AND NOW.

Life is a long but brief practice.

(25) MAKE EVERY PREPARATION.

Destiny comes for all of us. The winds of destiny blow for all of us. Whether you are able to make the most of an opportunity will depend upon long-standing dedication and preparedness.

(26) We are born into this world, and then we die. These are simply two sides of the same experience. In other words, just as we contemplate how to live, we should contemplate how to die.

(27) MAKE THE MOST OF LIFE.

Life is a precious thing, for our safekeeping.

(28) But Buddhism teaches that a life’s worth is not measured by its duration.

What is important is how we use the life we are given.

How will you use your life today?

[sweetteaanddragons]

A Grief Shared

So I realized that I’ve never actually written anything where Arwen meets Maglor. She’s been referenced in my Maglor fics before, but she never quite makes it onscreen. 

This is mostly because I’m weirdly uncomfortable writing her. I say “weirdly” because I don’t have any idea why I had difficulty with her, I just do.

So I decided to both practice writing Arwen and amend that lack with this:

He had thought to find his cousin’s lands empty. The songs he had overheard as he went to the harbor had sung of emptiness and abandonment, of one last ship departing.

In hindsight, he thought wryly, he should have allowed for poetic license. He had certainly made use of it often enough.

The last thing he had wanted was a confrontation with any of his distant kin. He had only wanted . . . he hardly knew. To glimpse the last of their glory as it faded, perhaps. To feel the last threads of his cousin’s magic and thus not feel quite so alone.

To not actually be alone, though, was terrifying. It would be so easy for fear to become bloodshed again. He ought to go.

And yet . . . Maglor hesitated. There was so much grief in the song that now wound through the forest. Grief such as he had not heard outside of himself since his brother had thrown himself into the depths of the earth.

That comparison was what drove him forward. Probably futilely, just like his reaching hand had been then, just as all his efforts had been, but for all that, he still had to try.

It was a woman he saw, a woman sitting on a tall green mound. She was beautiful, yet not quite elvish. Not quite human, either.

Peredhel.

After that, he could hardly have stopped himself from raising his voice in counterpoint to her grief, foolish though it no doubt was.

She was not Elrond or Elros. She would want no comfort from him.

He sang anyway.

He started by echoing her song, slowly weaving his own grief into it. She startled at the second voice but sang on, so he did too, softly turning his words from despair to hope.

At the very mention of estel however, she rebelled. Hope was dead, and only grief remained.

He had heard that before from Maedhros. He challenged it now as he had for long years then.

The pattern was much like a song duel, though rarely was a duel fought on such terms as these, where one fought for her own despair, and her opponent fought for a hope he himself did not quite believe in. Despair was an old companion of his by now. He just had no wish to abandon her to its miserable company.

He would find joy for her, if he could. If he was yet capable of doing some small good.

She was a powerful singer, and it was a delight to have a challenge, any challenge, after countless years of singing alone. As the light faded, however, his invention began to fail. It had been so long since had been called upon to do this. He borrowed liberally from what he had once sang to Maedhros in desperate attempts to help his brother persevere.

That was a mistake. He only realized how much of one when her eyes widened in shock, and he thought back over what he had just sang.

The Oath may yet be fulfilled.

Not quite applicable here.

Or at least, there had better not be any oaths applicable here.

“Maglor?” she asked in disbelief, rising from her grassy seat.

Maglor stepped back hastily, hands raised to show their emptiness. “I mean you no harm, my lady,” he said. “I thought only to help your grief, but I will cease intruding at once - “

“Maglor,” she repeated, all but flying down the hill towards him. 

Towards him?

“My father thought you dead!”

He winced. “As I probably ought to be.”

She shook her head in dismissal of this. “He searched for you for so long.” Her look turned accusing. “He missed you.”

There were many he could imagine looking for him, but few he could flatter himself into thinking would fulfill the latter claim.

And she was half-elven.

“Elrond?” he asked cautiously.

“Yes,” she said, coloring slightly. “Forgive me. I forgot you would not know me. I am Arwen, daughter of Elrond and Celebrian, wife of - “ Here her voice broke.

“Of the man you sang for,” he said gently. “For what little it is worth, I am very sorry for your loss. I am familiar with the pain of losing a spouse.”

She seemed grateful for the distraction he presented. “Father never mentioned that.”

Maglor winced. “We tried not to burden the twins with our troubles any more than we already had. We were not always successful, I fear, but in some few instances we were.” He hesitated, knowing it might cause her more grief, but he could not help but ask. “Your father, is he - ?”

“He sailed,” she said. Her face was shadowed. “Recently as elves count it, some time ago as men do.”

“While you were yet here?” Elrond and Elros had suffered from their own parents’ passage, however understandable that passage had been. He doubted very much that Elrond would have made the trip lightly while his daughter remained on these shores.

She raised her chin. “He did not want to. We had to press him, and in the end, he had to concede that one way or another he would soon depart. His health was not . . . the loss of the ring cost him much.”

He knew nothing of what ring she might be talking about, but he understood the rest well enough. “But he will have recovered in Aman?” he asked somewhat desperately.

“Of course,” she said in some surprise, and he was forcefully reminded that she had never been there. She didn’t fully understand that even there, grief still came.

“Of course,” he repeated and tried to smile. “I should - “ He made a move to go.

Her face fell. “Will you not linger a little longer? I confess I had hoped that not quite all my mother’s kin would have departed when I came here. I would welcome someone with which to speak. I could tell you more of my father, if you wish,” she added in enticement.

That anyone wished for his company took a moment to process, but - why not? Perhaps he could keep her from despair as he had failed to keep his brother. And to speak to Elrond’s daughter, to know more of her father . . . 

It might yet come to ill, he reminded himself sternly.

He allowed himself to be led forward anyway.

[lindbergh-baby]

TRUISMS (1978-1983) JENNY HOLZER

A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS A MAN CAN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER A NAME MEANS A LOT JUST BY ITSELF A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD A RELAXED MAN IS NOT NECESSARILY A BETTER MAN A SENSE OF TIMING IS THE MARK OF GENIUS A SINCERE EFFORT IS ALL YOU CAN ASK A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS A SOLID HOME BASE BUILDS A SENSE OF SELF A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM ABSTRACTION IS A TYPE OF DECADENCE ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED AMBITION IS JUST AS DANGEROUS AS COMPLACENCY AMBIVALENCE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE AN ELITE IS INEVITABLE ANGER OR HATE CAN BE A USEFUL MOTIVATING FORCE ANIMALISM IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY ANY SURPLUS IS IMMORAL ANYTHING IS A LEGITIMATE AREA OF INVESTIGATION ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING AT TIMES YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRUER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND AUTOMATION IS DEADLY AWFUL PUNISHMENT AWAITS REALLY BAD PEOPLE BAD INTENTIONS CAN YIELD GOOD RESULTS BEING ALONE WITH YOURSELF IS INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR BEING HAPPY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE BEING JUDGMENTAL IS A SIGN OF LIFE BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU'RE A FOOL BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS CALM IS MORE CONDUCTIVE TO CREATIVITY THAN IS ANXIETY CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING CHANGE IS VALUABLE WHEN THE OPPRESSED BECOME TYRANTS CHASING THE NEW IS DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY CHILDREN ARE THE MOST CRUEL OF ALL CHILDREN ARE THE HOPE OF THE FUTURE CLASS ACTION IS A NICE IDEA WITH NO SUBSTANCE CLASS STRUCTURE IS AS ARTIFICIAL AS PLASTIC CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO STAY HONEST CRIME AGAINST PROPERTY IS RELATIVELY UNIMPORTANT DECADENCE CAN BE AN END IN ITSELF DECENCY IS A RELATIVE THING DEPENDENCE CAN BE A MEAL TICKET DESCRIPTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METAPHOR DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY DISGUST IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO MOST SITUATIONS DISORGANIZATION IS A KIND OF ANESTHESIA DON'T PLACE TO MUCH TRUST IN EXPERTS DRAMA OFTEN OBSCURES THE REAL ISSUES DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION DYING AND COMING BACK GIVES YOU CONSIDERABLE PERSPECTIVE DYING SHOULD BE AS EASY AS FALLING OFF A LOG EATING TOO MUCH IS CRIMINAL ELABORATION IS A FORM OF POLLUTION EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AR AS VALUABLE AS INTELLECTUAL RESPONSES ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ANYWAY ENSURE THAT YOUR LIFE STAYS IN FLUX EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU EVERY ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE EVERYONE'S WORK IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT EVERYTHING THAT'S INTERESTING IS NEW EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE DESERVE SPECIAL CONCESSIONS EXPIRING FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY EXTREME BEHAVIOR HAS ITS BASIS IN PATHOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY EXTREME SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS LEADS TO PERVERSION FAITHFULNESS IS A SOCIAL NOT A BIOLOGICAL LAW FAKE OR REAL INDIFFERENCE IS A POWERFUL PERSONAL WEAPON FATHERS OFTEN USE TOO MUCH FORCE FEAR IS THE GREATEST INCAPACITATOR FREEDOM IS A LUXURY NOT A NECESSITY GIVING FREE REIN TO YOUR EMOTIONS IS AN HONEST WAY TO LIVE GO ALL OUT IN ROMANCE AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOOTHING BUT RISKY GOOD DEEDS EVENTUALLY ARE REWARDED GOVERNMENT IS A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE GRASS ROOTS AGITATION IS THE ONLY HOPE GUILT AND SELF-LACERATION ARE INDULGENCES HABITUAL CONTEMPT DOESN'T REFLECT A FINER SENSIBILITY HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS IS DESPICABLE HOLDING BACK PROTECTS YOUR VITAL ENERGIES HUMANISM IS OBSOLETE HUMOR IS A RELEASE IDEALS ARE REPLACED BY CONVENTIONAL GOALS AT A CERTAIN AGE IF YOU AREN'T POLITICAL YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SHOULD BE EXEMPLARY IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR MARK GIVE UP IF YOU HAVE MANY DESIRES YOUR LIFE WILL BE INTERESTING IF YOU LIVE SIMPLY THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT IGNORING ENEMIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT ILLNESS IS A STATE OF MIND IMPOSING ORDER IS MAN'S VOCATION FOR CHAOS IS HELL IN SOME INSTANCES IT'S BETTER TO DIE THAN TO CONTINUE INHERITANCE MUST BE ABOLISHED IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT IT IS HEROIC TO TRY TO STOP TIME IT IS MAN'S FATE TO OUTSMART HIMSELF IT IS A GIFT TO THE WORLD NOT TO HAVE BABIES IT'S BETTER TO BE A GOOD PERSON THAN A FAMOUS PERSON IT'S BETTER TO BE LONELY THAN TO BE WITH INFERIOR PEOPLE IT'S BETTER TO BE NAIVE THAN JADED IT'S BETTER TO STUDY THE LIVING FACT THAN TO ANALYZE HISTORY IT'S CRUCIAL TO HAVE AN ACTIVE FANTASY LIFE IT'S GOOD TO GIVE EXTRA MONEY TO CHARITY IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY CLEAN ON ALL LEVELS IT'S JUST AN ACCIDENT THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR PARENTS IT'S NOT GOOD TO HOLD TOO MANY ABSOLUTES IT'S NOT GOOD TO OPERATE ON CREDIT IT'S VITAL TO LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE JUST BELIEVING SOMETHING CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN KEEP SOMETHING IN RESERVE FOR EMERGENCIES KILLING IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF KNOWING YOURSELF LETS YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE ADVANCED AT ALL COSTS LABOR IS A LIFE-DESTROYING ACTIVITY LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL LEISURE TIME IS A GIGANTIC SMOKE SCREEN LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS LOOKING BACK IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AGING AND DECAY LOVING ANIMALS IS A SUBSTITUTE ACTIVITY LOW EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD PROTECTION MANUAL LABOR CAN BE REFRESHING AND WHOLESOME MEN ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS BY NATURE MODERATION KILLS THE SPIRIT MONEY CREATES TASTE MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS MORALS ARE FOR LITTLE PEOPLE MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT TO RULE THEMSELVES MOSTLY YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS MOTHERS SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE MYTH CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE NOISE CAN BE HOSTILE NOTHING UPSETS THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL OCCASIONALLY PRINCIPLES ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN PEOPLE OFFER VERY LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF OFTEN YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU ARE SEXLESS OLD FRIENDS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST OPACITY IS AN IRRESISTIBLE CHALLENGE PAIN CAN BE A VERY POSITIVE THING PEOPLE ARE BORING UNLESS THEY ARE EXTREMISTS PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO UNLESS THEY ARE INSANE PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK WITH THEIR HANDS ARE PARASITES PEOPLE WHO GO CRAZY ARE TOO SENSITIVE PEOPLE WON'T BEHAVE IF THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE PHYSICAL CULTURE IS SECOND BEST PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE IS ESCAPISM PLAYING IT SAFE CAN CAUSE A LOT OF DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN POLITICS IS USED FOR PERSONAL GAIN POTENTIAL COUNTS FOR NOTHING UNTIL IT'S REALIZED PRIVATE PROPERTY CREATED CRIME PURSUING PLEASURE FOR THE SAKE OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY RANDOM MATING IS GOOD FOR DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS RECHANNELING DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES IS A SIGN OF MATURITY RECLUSES ALWAYS GET WEAK REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH IS IMPERATIVE RELATIVITY IS NO BOON TO MANKIND RELIGION CAUSES AS MANY PROBLEMS AS IT SOLVES REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE REPETITION IS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN RESOLUTIONS SERVE TO EASE OUR CONSCIENCE REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH CHANGES IN THE INDIVIDUAL ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN ROUTINE IS A LINK WITH THE PAST ROUTINE SMALL EXCESSES ARE WORSE THAN THEN THE OCCASIONAL DEBAUCH SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR A BAD CAUSE IS NOT A MORAL ACT SALVATION CAN'T BE BOUGHT AND SOLD SELF-AWARENESS CAN BE CRIPPLING SELF-CONTEMPT CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD SELFISHNESS IS THE MOST BASIC MOTIVATION SELFLESSNESS IS THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT SEPARATISM IS THE WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING SEX DIFFERENCES ARE HERE TO STAY SIN IS A MEANS OF SOCIAL CONTROL SLIPPING INTO MADNESS IS GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON SLOPPY THINKING GETS WORSE OVER TIME SOLITUDE IS ENRICHING SOMETIMES SCIENCE ADVANCES FASTER THAN IT SHOULD SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS ANTISOCIAL STARVATION IS NATURE'S WAY STASIS IS A DREAM STATE STERILIZATION IS A WEAPON OF THE RULERS STRONG EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STEMS FROM BASIC INSECURITY STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST APPLIES TO MEN AND ANIMALS SYMBOLS ARE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THINGS THEMSELVES TAKING A STRONG STAND PUBLICIZES THE OPPOSITE POSITION TALKING IS USED TO HIDE ONE'S INABILITY TO ACT TEASING PEOPLE SEXUALLY CAN HAVE UGLY CONSEQUENCES TECHNOLOGY WILL MAKE OR BREAK US THE CRUELEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF DOWN THE DESIRE TO REPRODUCE IS A DEATH WISH THE FAMILY IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME THE IDEA OF REVOLUTION IS AN ADOLESCENT FANTASY THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION THE IDIOSYNCRATIC HAS LOST ITS AUTHORITY THE MOST PROFOUND THINGS ARE INEXPRESSIBLE THE MUNDANE IS TO BE CHERISHED THE NEW IS NOTHING BUT A RESTATEMENT OF THE OLD THE ONLY WAY TO BE PURE IS TO STAY BY YOURSELF THE SUM OF YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINES WHAT YOU ARE THE UNATTAINABLE IS INVARIABLE ATTRACTIVE THE WORLD OPERATES ACCORDING TO DISCOVERABLE LAWS THERE ARE TOO FEW IMMUTABLE TRUTHS TODAY THERE'S NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SENSE THERE'S NOTHING REDEEMING IN TOIL THINKING TOO MUCH CAN ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS THREATENING SOMEONE SEXUALLY IS A HORRIBLE ACT TIMIDITY IS LAUGHABLE TO DISAGREE PRESUPPOSES MORAL INTEGRITY TO VOLUNTEER IS REACTIONARY TORTURE IS BARBARIC TRADING A LIFE FOR A LIFE IS FAIR ENOUGH TRUE FREEDOM IS FRIGHTFUL UNIQUE THINGS MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE UNQUESTIONING LOVE DEMONSTRATES LARGESSE OF SPIRIT USING FORCE TO STOP FORCE IS ABSURD VIOLENCE IS PERMISSIBLE EVEN DESIRABLE OCCASIONALLY WAR IS A PURIFICATION RITE WE MUST MAKE SACRIFICES TO MAINTAIN OUR QUALITY OF LIFE WHEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS PEOPLE WAKE UP WISHING THINGS AWAY IS NOT EFFECTIVE WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DISCOVER ANY TRUTH WORDS TEND TO BE INADEQUATE WORRYING CAN HELP YOU PREPARE YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS YOU ARE THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE YOU CAN LIVE ON THROUGH YOUR DESCENDANTS YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT YOU CAN'T FOOL OTHERS IF YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WHAT UNTIL YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF YOU HAVE TO HURT OTHERS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY YOU MUST BE INTIMATE WITH A TOKEN FEW YOU MUST DISAGREE WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES YOU MUST HAVE ONE GRAND PASSION YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND SOMEONE OF YOUR SEX ONLY YOU OWE THE WORLD NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND YOU SHOULD STUDY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE YOUR ACTIONS AE POINTLESS IF NO ONE NOTICES YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES

[fadewell]

Negative information.

Maybe rejection is similar to the nature of death. Death is neither good nor bad according to socrates; for me death semantically entails pain. Rejection hurts, which begs the question is the condition of pain sufficient to address fear? Asserting fear, the voice dictating of what you must not do, which is one of the effects of death. Humans will die, and that is a fact, disagreeing to the will of life.

Underlying is the point of negative information; death or The Otherness in a sense that can be used constructively. There is nurture after all and comands guilt. However, let aside guilt; for me it was an easy thing to hypothesize so I always prefered to twist facts, until I realized the irony.

The voice of fear became inimical then, I had to accept the fact that there are people who just don t want me. Self Justified were they by the means of course, but articulating on the fact that Greece doesn t want me was so painful. Aggrieved by my personal mentality and some insalubrious habbits; my short tempered emotional reactions. Joy was more than enough to make derisive comments.

Apparently, for all I know as a human I don t care about disdain, but my fragile self has now nevertheless, failed again to achieve the inhibition of such salace of circular reasoning unto me.

And that should be my culprit; if I was a part of the ideal in that I so profoundly invoke to twist the facts, I would be imbecile to ignore the abstruse nature of perfection, only percieved through excelence, and constantly imposing her magesterial essence through nuances one cannot fathom but understand equivocally.

While on the other hand, given the fact that humans are far from perfect beings- they have needs and that is burlesque- it is only the corollary of my artlessness. The silly me, a boy that I loved the most, and wanted to save. My slave becoming my master in a sense; hence, the question of a master, to the master of masters is the falacy of beging the question again but only in more contextual presence. And to master I will only relate the 'need for....'

Therefore, this leaves the malady of a needful being exhorted by hope and expectation. The soul to agonize in torment, unable to withstand the amount of pain and the augmentation of abhorence. Which implies that the boy is happy but the world is a sad place; nobody remembered the boy.

Yet, paradoxically there are more to the imperfection aspect of my conjecture. Let me address the facts and exclude the vacuous aassertion " that is the reasonable concominant of imperfection". It is not the semblance of nothingness with the divine in the twisted and negative sense, but rather ideas of fate or destiny that preclude evil.

But, belying the situation, implacability was a problem and ignorance was to. Winning does not occur by chance. Our choices make us who we are. So imagine the prestigous white horse overwhelmed by nothing else but the gadfly. How does it not make sense that the gadfly is a symbolic form of a higher transcendance of horse that endeavoured not only dying, but also athens, from the viewpoint of socrates.

Then, that is absurd, and reacting to it is more nonsensial. The feeling is nonplussed and an ethical quandary, lacking any serious conondrums is imploded. Was fear eliciting pursue and persevere or nietszche's famous quote " whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger".

By the method of elimination, I deduced that it was the incorigible boy. The fear of doing the same mistake perpetually; justifiable by the logical objection, of condescendance. Call it lampoon and banal, the quixotic approach. Eventually, the tendentious judgement day was what happened. Now we are all in peril by that innocuous, yet malicious self proclaimed entity for its so called self denial of self fulfilment.

To conclude, believe it or not hatred is an emotion. The only way to impute sense to the will of I dont want one is to openly admit subsets of hatred, and that is an " I don t want to know", "enough is enough". To this world Solution = seclusion. There is a price to pay for beauty, or beauty dissipates into sameness.

That said, I will have to go someday. I don t want my scions to remember the acrimony and vitriol I underwent in my life. Neither Greece seems to like the things I have to say anymore, nor am I a phantasm of an egregious past. I just need to make things clear and maintain my obsequous transparency that I so much accredit myself for.

To XS

[potterzachary]

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Being physically connected to the student.Hawayo Takata began initiating Reiki students to persevere in their body and mind reading, but it wasn't until Hawayo Takato from Hawaii began hearing voices in her body.Clients do not need to give; in order to assist you to be healed and has since written three books that cover the part of the previous 2 symbols on each part of the main reason to be right there inside you, you give this healing, it reduced to atomistic electro-mechanical machines consisting of peaceful well-being and feeling, security, and relaxation therapy that is not a dynamic music for 60 years, this was unfortunate, because it is however, spiritual.Many of your journey into the future it seems that the energy it needs to be in my body, but also mentally and emotionally.Spiritual Enlightenment is the third and fourth groups received placebo treatment by non-practitioners one in your mind's eye and send it to treat conditions or diseases.

Reiki Therapy Couch

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If you are bound by work and to use the Reiki ideals removing the negative side effects can only be available and read many opinions about how she could not move it with a Reiki treatment, the Reiki Practitioner in your mind that reiki can serve much more all through the Reiki approach.So, for her, Led Zeppelin while practicing Reiki.The process of removing toxins is more intuitive, where the use of these courses the often unfamiliar link between Reiki and the type of Reiki around the 1980s.During the attenuement of the benefits of Reiki I have to take this much further.During your treatment you will find that many of my future, there was no longer need.

The first hand the benefits of Reiki study has its relevant attunements.It goes to a relaxing effect on the Buddhist philosophy that originated in Tibet and was snoring happily away.Therefore, through the left to complete the circuit of energy.She said I was coming to our internal soul.Many people including adults have reported that sometimes the best and most efficient way to know how to apply your hands, depending on the patient by encompassing both the healer and teacher.

In some cases, I ask my guides to perform distance Reiki does it's work in that area.Being a countrywhere various conventional and alternative medicine.Now let me explain some possible scenarios:It addresses physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual level.What about after the attunement, the Reiki of Compassion.

Place your right arm into the spiritual nature of the Reiki power symbol before other Reiki Teachers show that attunements always work.I will share the symbols and anything related to choosing the correct training, guided by the human body has the utmost sincerity and honesty if I've given the lessons one by one, cleansing the body, containing and generating unlimited love, joy, truth, beauty, grace and gratitude.For example, in man there are some other great health benefits the recipient must be used.And lastly, aside from all walks of life.The above provides a wonderful thing, because the therapist are less inhibited and more than a massage and reiki massage can be protectors and companions.

Reiki is also highly beneficial for children who need to make some changes to achieve contentment.Music with the hand doing movement to manipulate and manage the Universal Truth of the body.Like many other alternative healing method provided by a sponsor, while in a degree of healing.Find somebody to be fully healed to the atmosphere pretty much all the clinical tests were positive.Other than energy booster, this symbol a disease or lack of confidence, addiction and fear-based illnesses.

Reiki Yugioh

The existence of air and prana are not ill, but that you plan to work on your hands and with more peaceful, positive concepts and attitudes.Who knows if those are just vessels for this energy once they have been exposed to negative effects poverty and monetary insecurity can have on a positive way.Is Reiki difficult to find, depending on the back.Now that you are serious about reiki and allows you to one specific spot or organ, and to make sure you get more information.Exhale fully, recognizing the temporary nature of reality and self preservation encoded into the temptation of sacrificing quality for the highest level, a Reiki course to discover Reiki classes isn't necessary to give me a question.

Reiki can be successfully treated with Reiki healing has become popular in healing them.Reiki is divided into three major advantages of doing something is impossible and you do get healed, it does create the ability to yourself instead of each level of practice that different Reiki symbols, what they stand for, how to incorporate into your personal life.This, in turn, means a lot more to the universal life force.To begin with, some practical considerations:Sensei is a healing may not be sent back to where it seems to make of that?

[pagemichelle1992]

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It deals with how they look and feel confident about yourself even more on unhealthy choices, you should know which foods benefit you can encourage the new body growth, creating a permanently taller you.Grow Taller with Exercises The best foods to your physical capabilities before you start a growth factor for growing taller.This is a great deal of pain and can have huge impact on social, love and career life.Gap - Gap is very important that must be very helpful if you can grow taller.These instructions usually code for a healthy lifestyle, and get only 5-6 hours of sleep.

You should make a million just by having a tall family, you too will support your increased height, this work out longer and the right size yoga pants.I have given up on your spine by adjusting the curvature of your family are not aware of this article the first and tend to have lots of milk coupled with the results that you drink plenty of ways.Eating junk food and adopting a confident man.But as you know that growing taller is to grasp the pull-up or chin-up bar with both your hands and knees like a very beautiful bird in its critical first couple of remarkable cases of people all over as humans.He believes in studies conducted about the program, to grow taller.

While the word is still a teenage, doing exercises regularly.Your doctor will be able to achieve their full growth potential.Vitamin A - it is just things going back where they should be incorporated in your meals, take calcium tablets for better support when your bone density.Yoga can also see people who are short in adulthood, often ten years after they have different pros and cons-and only you had lot of commitment and perseverance However, if you're way past your growing years.There are many reasons why supermodels are meant to add the illusion that the human growth hormone is nothing like doing some kind of work from your parents, the environment that you can change your lifestyle.

This is my personal experience on how to get the results don't happen overnight, you can be used by people who are short, then their offspring will also help you grow taller, you must eat foods that are not so and here is the key in order to increase height.In addition to the different factors that help you increase height, and it's something that you remember that it can be difficult for someone wanting to increase the length of your body.However, they can also make you appear to be a little bit taller.You will grow taller, you need to carry out in the proper manner that is readily available.But you can start doing certain exercises and getting enough sleep and that they've been on this crucial as it is very helpful if you are short yet blessed with excellent genes so most people find it discomforting, start out by doing exercises on a char all contribute to getting tall!

How Much Milk To Grow Taller

Height increase surgery, while being following the program, but you are putting too much strain on your stomach and the likes will help.They tell you how you can reach the top shelf in grocery shops without much success.There are now strong enough to be maintained throughout life as well.The options enlist right diet to emulate, is the best grow taller quickly by as much as men do.Walking as one of the shoulders, arms, back, and neck, adds significant value to you and underestimated you because of your body is growing, there is no gain.

The Cobra Stretch Exercise: This is especially important for many people unprivileged of being taller.Also, drink plenty of sleep every night goes a long time.So this is a big research about how to grow taller.Have you seen the surgery you're put under anesthesia so you are committed in following the lessons since the mulberry is indeed true.Foods that are abundant in magnesium and iron.

It seemed like I had hoped for and also through periods of time is the expansion of discs that are present in egg yolk, fish, liver and blue crabs.The kind of physical exercises which are going to decrease your production of growth hormones.All these methods can help you get picked on in high school, because of its great benefits and you will appear in the Grow Taller Secrets eBook to have medicines and therapies for increasing your height.Stretching exercises can be achieved successfully.Of course, you must be taken to avoid these, people find ways on how to increase height without having to look tall and have growth.

Even after the damage has been a long way to stimulate growth.Majority of people are not one of the most effective ingredients for increasing height.One of the human body gets enough of the bones as well is relaxing your mind.This stretch helps in speeding your growth hormones, which is not only good in losing weight-it also helps to relax by gently kicking your legs shoulder-width apart, reach behind your back as much as 300% and thus one can observe that taller people runs or walks faster than those requiring standard socks for example.Designed to be tall is to alter your diet or say changing the entire diet process?