#the idea that he's truly alone in the world and in a victim position like. hopeless.

[chemicalarospec]

My experience with Hannibal so far:

Jeff the killer: kills people. Mutilates and eats them too.

Me: Yeah that's alright with me (skipping the eye gore tho)

Jeff the evil liar: evilly lies to someone about the cause of their psychosis

Me: I Am Not Okay With This

[yournaothings]

Living the Dream

Prologue: I Can't Save the World if I'm Not Happy Anymore

The atmosphere in the house that once was filled with positivity now was replaced by the suffocating negativity Dream always fought against. This late at night no one would be any wiser of what misery Dream was facing all on his own after yet another intense and frustrating battle against his brother. The same old thing they have been through countless times, yet there was no progress made on either of them. No one truly won during their fights. They simply would get the upper hand while the other team would slink away to lick their wounds. Every fight, every battle, every time Dream would stand before Nightmare, begging him to stop this nonsense. It all ended the same way. 

Nightmare refused to give up his chaos. 

Dream refused to give up on saving his brother and the Multiverse. 

Nightmare was never going to come back, Dream finally caved in and believed the words the King of Negativity spat at him every time they fought one another.  There wasn't anything more Dream could do. He tried everything. In the end, Dream finally realized that he was fighting a battle that he'd never win. That thought alone opened the idea to a more devastating thought; if he couldn't save his brother, what makes him think he could save the Multiverse? He was the Guardian of Positivity, yet he couldn't save anyone. 

That's not true, you've saved millions-

Millions that are still fighting against their demons to this day. He didn't save them, he made their lives worse.

They're safe, making a new life, making new friends. They are healing, and that takes time.

What about Nightmare? 

Time will tell, he will come around eventually. 

And, if he doesn't?

. . . .

Dream heaved a heavy sigh as he gently pulled his crown from his skull and held it firmly in his hands. The gold caught what little light from the moon that flooded into his bedroom. It made the metal sparkle beautifully.  It made Dream sick to his stomach; he didn't deserve to wear the crown that symbolized peace and hope.  Releasing one hand, he ran his phalanges over the warm metal, feeling the smooth surface one last time before he released yet another heavy sigh and placed it gently on his bed beside his weapon and cape. Everything that was used to fight the negativity, to fight his brother. A flash of yellow and gold that brought hope and relief to the victim's tormented souls.  

The items laid innocently on his bed, staring at him, judging him. 

To continue to wield such items would make him a liar. 

He was no Guardian. 

He was no hero. 

He wasn't one when it was just him and Nighty, and he wasn't one now. 

Nightmare was right. It was time to give up the facade and move on. 

No amount of positivity would convince him to stop and pick up his weapon once more. He wasn't fit for the job any longer. With a heavy soul, Dream turned away from the few items he abandoned on the bed and walked away. He didn't stop to look back, not once as he opened a portal and stepped through, leaving the room, the house as empty as he felt deep inside his soul. . . .

—--->

Chapter One: A New Life

The AU Dream entered was an interesting one, he had to admit. He wasn't sure if he's ever been to one like this before; honestly, he would have remembered if he had with how unique this was! An AU where humans and monsters got along so well, there were monster and human children running around- hybrids. Yes, hybrid children, and many were already in their mid-twenties! 

With his hands stuffed deep inside of his jacket pockets, Dream excitedly watches all the citizens as they walk by, his eyes brightening from all of the positive aura surrounding him. Everyone was so happy and enjoying the cool weather of fall; the leaves were turning such pretty colors that dangled over the sidewalks- the public park was even more breathtaking! Dream wished he had found this place a lot earlier in his journeys, he felt so refreshed and energetic! 

It didn't take long for him to decide that he would make this AU his new home. He didn't have Ink around to tell him about this AU, but he could already tell this was a good AU, a positive one. An AU where Nightmare wouldn't dare go because of all of the positivity. 

Dream was safe here. 

Checking everything off his mental to-do list, Dream was quick to find a home; he wanted his own house, but he was offered a nice apartment complex. It wasn’t grand or anything, not that he expected something like that. His old home was a simple one bedroom home, so this was perfect. 

As he followed the real estate agent into the home, he was quick to map everything out. As soon as he walked in, to the right was the kitchen; wide space and plenty of room to cook. A little further in and to the left was the small hallway leading to the bathroom and bedroom. Heading past both the kitchen and that hallway was the living room. Thankfully, the apartment was furnished with cozy furniture so he wouldn’t have to worry about sleeping on the floor tonight. 

His attention was caught by the sliding door on the opposite side of the entrance to the living room; it lead out onto a patio where there were pots of plants growing and a cute outdoor chair sitting in the corner of the patio. It overlooked the backyard that connected the rest of the community of apartments, where there were children running and playing with each other. 

“It’s a lovely place.” Dream commented with a satisfied sigh. The agent smiled happily. “I’m glad you like it. Everything has been dealt with, so I will leave you to acquaint yourself with your new home.” Dream bid them goodbye before turning back to watch the children laugh and play together. This place was so peaceful; Dream wondered how he hadn’t felt such positivity before this. What a wonderful place he could have escaped to with the other Stars. 

A sad smile overtook the joyous one as he thought about his friends. He wondered if they were worried about him, if they even knew he was gone yet. Was Blue and Ink looking for him? Did Core!Frisk know where he was? They always seemed to know where to find him. 

Did Nightmare know he was gone? Was he happy? Or was he angry that Dream was missing?

The positive guardian shook his head, dismissing such troubling thoughts before heading back into his new home. There was much to do to make this his own; he didn’t have much money, so priorities first! 

Such a silly thing, Dream laughed to himself as he made his way to the grocery store to buy some food. He didn’t really need it, he felt so full already from the AU’s positivity. But, sustenance wouldn’t hurt to have. He has been spoiled after all; Blue always brought such wonderful treats with him when they all hung out together. Perhaps this AU would have something similar?

He was correct, this AU had plenty of delicious treats and more! Dream felt a little ashamed for spending just about all of his money on such treats, but he felt that he deserved them. Ink and Blue always said he should think more of himself, “Take better care of yourself!” They would tell him. And he did! At least he tried to. Saving the Multiverse always came first. Now that he didn’t have that responsibility, he could relax a little and get what he wanted. 

As he was walking home, he came to a stop in front of a small marketplace that he had overlooked on his way to the grocery store. Celestial Market It looked like a family owned little market- before Dream realized what he was doing, he stepped inside, the bell above the door chiming to let the owner know someone  had entered. 

“Welcome to the Celestial Market!” 

The melodic voice of an older woman called from behind the counter, drawing Dream to walk in until he could see her. She faced away from him as she restocked the shelves behind the cashier counter with the individual pastries. All of them homemade, with cute little stickers with the marketplace’s name, logo, and a short description of the pastry. 

Her brown (and gray) hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, yet her long, wavy hair ended at her mid-back. She stepped down from the stepstool she had been using to reach the top of the shelf and she turned to face her customer with a bright yet tired smile. 

“Oh, hello! You must be new here, I haven’t seen you before.” She said with surprise, but was happy to see a new face.  Dream felt himself match her own lovely smile as he nodded and introduced himself. “You’re correct, I just moved in today. My name is Dream, it’s nice to meet you.” He balanced his bag of goodies in one arm before offering his free hand in greeting. 

The woman laughed softly, happy to shake his hand in greeting and introducing herself.  “My name is Maria, it’s nice to meet you as well, Dream.” She released his hand and reached up to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear.  “What can I do for you, Dream? I can’t imagine you came in here to look for something.” She said, amused as she gestured to his bag of goodies. 

Dream blushed, embarrassed.  “Y-You’re right, I just happened to look over and saw this place. It’s easy to miss, I’m afraid.” Maria nodded, agreeing with Dream.  “It is, but I have plenty of returning customers. Why don’t you have a look around. Everything here is homemade.” Dream wasn’t sure if he would purchase anything today- “I’m afraid I don’t have any money to purchase any of your goods today.” He told her, honestly.

“That’s alright, Dream.” Her soothing voice calmed his worries as she reached behind her and snatched up a little pastry she had been stocking the shelves with and handed him one. “This one is on the house, so you know what you’re missing.” She teased him with a wink. Dream’s blush darkened as he gently took the neatly wrapped pastry from her.  “Y-You didn’t have to-” She waved off his worry with her hand. “Don’t worry about it, Dream. Like I said, it’s on the house.” 

Tucking away the pastry, Dream glanced around, noticing how there was a lack of employees here. “Do you work alone?” He asked, starting to get worried that she was running a business all by herself.  “Oh,” Maria huffed as she continued to stock her shelves. “I have my two kids help out in the mornings when it gets busy. He works at the tattoo parlor just down the street in the afternoon, and my step-daughter works at the university’s cafe during the evenings.” 

“But,” Dream started slow as he wondered if the marketplace’s business wasn’t busy while her children were gone.  “That leaves you all alone.” Her silence was enough of an answer. “I um,” He continued, that blush returning; he looked away, embarrassed.  “If you don’t have anyone else… I am in need of a job.” Which was true. He needed the money to pay for his new home and food- ah, let’s not forget new clothes as well. 

Maria laughed softly behind her hand, finding Dream’s behavior sweet.  “I can offer you a job, Dream. The help will be nice. However, I’m afraid I can’t pay you for a full time job, will that be alright?” Her concern was met with his surprised enthusiasm, his golden eyes lighting up with excitement as they met her soft brown ones.  “Oh! That will be fine, Maria! I will accept whatever is offered to me!” Maria laughed with such joy that it physically brightened Dream’s aura. “We’ll get you started tomorrow morning, when the kids are here. They can watch the store while I have you fill out some forms, then we’ll go from there.” Dream nodded, agreeing to these demands. 

Thanking her once more for the pastry and job opportunity, Dream hurried home with his goodies. 

—

Maria sighed as she finished closing up her shop and turned to walk down the street. As much as she wanted to go home and relax, she wasn’t finished with her errands for the day. The sun would set in an hour, yet she had one more place to visit. In her arms were some pastries and another “Get well soon” card. 

As happy as this city was, there were still plenty of awful things happening. The hospital was always a reminder of that. Maria knew her children were already there visiting their sick friend; Norah Wendall. She had fallen ill recently, and after a few days in the hospital she had fallen into a coma. It has already been a few months since she had fallen under the coma, but there was no sign of her waking up soon. All they could do was to visit her and hope she would awake soon. 

The doctor who was in charge of her stated that he was doing everything he could to help her remain comfortable. “She is still with us; have faith. She will return when she is ready.” 

Felix, Norah’s step brother, did not like the doctor and swore there was something wrong with him. With their mother having passed away years ago, Maria was all the two had as a parental figure. She did her best to guide Felix during such a hard time. 

The hospital staff greeted Maria happily as she entered. She returned each greeting with one of her own before stepping into the elevator. Norah was on the third floor, the elevator ride didn’t take long at all to get there. However, having to walk down a few halls to the room took her a little longer. Once she entered, she was happy to see Norah laying in her bed, sound asleep, looking peaceful. 

On the sofa sat Felix and Maria’s step-daughter, Lily. She smiled lovingly to the two; Lily and Felix had been dating well before Norah fell ill, and both spoke how they would marry after Norah awoke. Maria couldn’t have been happier with the two, they were just perfect for each other. 

Maria set her gifts on the bedside table before leaning down to press a soft, loving kiss to Norah’s forehead.  “Hello, my sweet girl.” She greeted Norah, squeezing her hand, hoping the young woman would squeeze back. After a moment, Maria’s smile fell a little and tears filled her eyes. She glanced away from Norah to face the children; Felix looked away, his expression contorted in his pain. Lily frowned and turned her attention to her fiance, trying to comfort him. On another chair sat Kai, her son; he stood and walked over to comfort his mother. 

“It’s alright, mom. We just need to give her a little more time, okay?” Kai tried to comfort his mother, who nodded. “Of course, love.” She replied before Kai led her to sit on the sofa beside his sister, then returned to his own seat. 

The room fell silent for a few minutes before Maria asked Felix how he was doing. The small talk helped him from falling into a depressive state. Their soft voices filled the room; if Maria didn’t know any better, it would seem like Norah was only taking a nap and would soon awake to join their conversation. 

One day. She thought to herself with a hopeful smile. One day soon. 

—

Dream returned to the marketplace early in the morning, just as he was instructed. He wore jeans and a baggy sweater, with his bodysuit underneath. It was a chilly morning, even though the weather didn’t affect him like it did for others, he still felt comfortable wearing appropriate clothing. 

Seven in the morning, Dream was happy to be able to meet Maria’s children! As he entered the store, he saw the young woman behind the counter, preparing the cash register for the day. She glanced up in surprise; “Oh, we’re not open yet, sir.” 

“Yes,” Dream began with a smile. “Your mother- um, I mean the owner told me to come in early to fill out paperwork for a job.” The young woman gasped softly, “Oh!” She gestured towards the back where the office was.  “Right, mom told us about you. She’s in the office right now.” Dream thanked her before making his way into the back and knocked on the office door- it was open, and he could see Maria going through some paperwork. 

“Good morning, Dream.” She greeted with a tired smile and waved him inside. “Come on in, I’ve got everything set up for you.” He nodded and did as he was told. He sat at the desk and waited as Maria began to hand him a few pages and pen, explaining to him what she needed from him. 

As he began to fill out the pages, he paused and frowned. “Um, Maria?” She raised her gaze from her own work, and met Dream’s worried gaze.  “There’s a slight problem. I um, see… I’m not from this.. AU…?” He didn’t have an Identification card fit for this AU, nor did he have some of these other… identification requirements the paper was asking for.  

“Oh, I see.” She paused as she thought about this dilemma. “That’s alright, dear. I’ll help you out with that, just go ahead and fill everything else out and we’ll finish that part later.” Dream nodded and turned back to the paperwork. He felt bad for needing the help to get silly ID cards so he could work legally. He never had that problem back in the Omega Timeline. 

“Don’t worry about it, Dream.” Maria’s voice startled him from his thoughts. It was then when he realized that he had drifted off into his worrisome thoughts. She offered him a sweet, kind smile. “There are many monsters who travel to different Alternate Universes. You’re not the first, so we’re prepared to help in any way.” 

This surprised Dream; it shouldn’t have. He wondered if that was one of the reasons why this AU was so accepting of monsters. He would have to ask later. 

Maria worked on getting his information typed into the system before she wrote down a few notes.  “The office isn’t open yet, but once they are, I’ll call in a request for someone to meet with you for new ID cards. They’ll help you out, I promise.” Maria assured Dream.  “In the meantime, why don’t you go meet the kids? They’re curious about you, I told them you’ll be starting.” 

With a nod, Dream thanked Maria and exited the office to find both the young woman and her brother at the cash register. As he drew closer, he saw they were watching a video on the young woman’s phone. Upon seeing Dream walk up, she closed the app and locked her phone, her attention turned to him. She looked at him for a moment.  “So, you’re a skeleton?” 

Her brother rolled his eyes and nudged her with his elbow. “Lily, come on. Don’t be rude.” Lily snickered and apologized. Dream chuckled and waved away her brother’s worries. “It’s alright, I knew she was having fun. My name is Dream, by the way. I’ll be helping your mother out with the shop.” 

“Kai,” The brother was quick to introduce, he held out his hand for Dream to accept in greeting.  “This is my sister, Lily. She acts like a little brat, but she is unfortunately the older sibling.” Lily stuck her tongue out at her brother, playfully smacking his arm. “I do not act like a brat.” “You do too-” “Do not!” 

Dream laughed as they started a small argument. Kai was the first to break it and push Lily away.  “Anyway, Dream. Why don’t I show you around the shop, show you what needs to be done and where everything goes.” With a nod, Dream followed Kai into the back. 

The morning went by quickly, and before Dream knew it, he was leaving the shop with Kai leading the way to the local Social Security Office. After that, he was led to the DMV where he got a new ID card. He was offered to study for and take the driver’s test, but he said he had no interest in driving. Once he had everything he needed, Kai returned him to the shop before leaving for his other job. 

Lily had already left, but had left some takeaway food for both her mother and Dream. Maria finished up the paperwork while they ate, having closed the shop for an hour so they could have a break. 

“Your children are lovely, Maria.” Dream commented after he finished his meal. “They are, aren’t they?” Maria said softly, her voice some and endearing. He could feel the love she held for her two children.  “I was really surprised, you know. I was worried she would hate her brother when she found out he wasn’t all human.” Dream was surprised to hear this, “Kai is a hybrid? But, I don’t sense anything different-” He also didn’t do a soul check when he had met him.  

“His father was a water monster.” Maria admitted with a sad smile. “We married before monsters were truly accepted among this community. When the humans found out we had a child together, they rioted. My husband was accidentally killed. Kai never got to know his father, he only heard stories and had pictures of him.” Dream deflated at such a saddening story. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Maria.” She smiled sadly at him. “It’s alright, Dream. It’s in the past. I was a single parent to Kai for several years until I met Lily’s father. Kai was ten years old while Lily just turned thirteen. Both her father and Lily accepted us into their lives. By then, monsters were starting to mingle with humans.” 

“It took years, but humans and monsters finally came together. They accepted each other and found friendship and love. I would wish for that to have happened years ago, but there were so many good memories I hold dear that I wouldn’t want to trade for the world. Kai means everything to me, then and now. The same goes for Lily. I do miss Kai’s father, but I was glad to have met Lily’s.” 

“Oh,” Dream bit his tongue, not sure if he should ask about Lily’s father. “Is your… Lily’s father is not around any longer?” Maria’s smile was sad as she glanced away. “No, he’s not. He passed away a few years ago. It was from natural causes, I’m afraid. Lily took it hard, she was very close with her father.” 

“It must have been so hard for you all.” Dream commented, saddened. “Are you looking for another?” Maria laughed as she sent Dream a teasing smile. “No, I’m not. Are you offering,  young man?” Dream lit up so bright with his blush, he sputtered and tripped over his words. “N-No! O-Of course not! I-I was merely c-curious!” His stumbling had her laughing once more.  “You’re so easily flustered, Dream. I’m only joking with you.” She chuckled before answering honestly;  “I’m happy being single. I’ve accomplished so much in my life, and I’ve loved two wonderful men. It’s time to just focus on me.” 

Maria’s eyes and smile softened as she got lost in her thoughts. “I am happy where I am. Besides, I’ll be too busy to go mingling with Lily about to get married.” Dream’s eyes brightened, his smile growing.  “Oh? That’s wonderful news! That must be why she is so happy!” 

“Yes,” Maria laughed softly. “Her fiance is a wonderful young man. It’s funny; Felix’s mother was a sorceress. She traveled to this AU, and when she found out she was pregnant, she remained to give Felix a normal life. She also passed away in the last ten years.” 

Maria made a strange face, her soul twisting in unease for just a few short moments, Dream barely caught onto her worry before she continued. 

“Lily’s mother also was a sorceress. But, as far as I’m aware, they always remained in this AU. Lily and her father moved here from another city. They had only been here for a month before I met her father.” 

“Did Lily’s mother pass away as well?” Dream wondered, Maria shrugged. “They never really talked about her. Lily’s father always told me that her mother left to protect them. I don’t know from what, but I think they assumed she was deceased.” 

“If monsters and humans were not on good terms, it wouldn’t surprise me if she fought to the death. Monsters and mages always found it difficult to get along.” Dream explained, wondering if that’s what happened. Maria hummed and nodded in agreement. She glanced down at her phone to see their break time was up. 

“Are you ready?” She asked with a grin. Dream smiled in return, he jumped out of his seat with plenty of energy. “I am ready.” She laughed and led the way out of the office, closing and locking in after Dream exited, before going to open the shop back up.  The rest of the day went by smoothly, with the customers coming in and meeting their newest citizen. 

It wasn’t long before the city was buzzing with the newest handsome skeleton monster that worked at the Celestial Market. Business picked up once again thanks to him; everyone wanted to know more about the strange monster who showed up out of nowhere one day. While this helped business, it had everyone feeling more exhausted by the end of the work days. 

Dream ate up the positivity that came with everyone coming to greet him; but answering all their questions was getting exhausting. Where did he come from? It’s too complicated to explain right now. What did he do before this? Ah, he’d rather not talk about it.

Maria was helpful and shooed the customers away from him so he could finish his stocking. On her days off, Lily would stay and scare away the overwhelming customers, having no problem yelling at them on their way out. 

Two weeks had already passed by since Dream moved in, he was enjoying his time at the marketplace, which he learned was named after Maria’s late husband’s last name; Celeste. It was a cute name for the shop. Dream found it a little funny how he worked in a shop named Celestial, seeing that he had once been a part of the Star Sanses. 

Stars, he missed Blue and Ink. 

He missed his brother, too. 

Dream shook those thoughts from his mind as he stood up from his chair on the patio. It was getting late, even though he didn’t have to work the next day, he should try and get some sleep. Well, he didn’t really need to sleep, but he has gotten used to being able to sleep properly now that he was no longer in charge of defending the multiverse-

Ah, I shouldn’t think about it. I’ll only worry more.

With a heavy sigh, Dream walked into his home, locking the sliding door and went about his way getting ready for bed.

[bylertruther]

el has never been able to kill vecna. she wins the battle by casting him away, but she fails to win the war. he's patient zero for powers, absorbed the powers of all the lab kids, has the upside down and all of its monsters on his side, and has even absorbed her powers.

she's a force to be reckoned with, but she's not stronger than him. not even with the help of everyone fighting together and hitting vecna from every single angle was she able to defeat him. she isn't the cure, she wasn't the right choice, the risk did not pay off, they rolled the die and they came up short, the odds were not on their side, and blahblahblah insert every other phrase that people used in this season alone to defend that choice here.

she fights, but she doesn't come up with plans. she knows him from her childhood, but she doesn't have direct access to his mind. she's brave, and she's strong, and she's powerful, but it's not enough to win on her own in a one-on-one fight.

will knows vecna's plans. he knows how he thinks, what he thinks. he has a direct status update on how he's doing. he's the first to know when something is happening regarding the upside down and vecna. he's familiar with the upside down, with possession, with the man that's eluded them for so long. he has access to invaluable knowledge that no one else does. it's not something that he has to think about—he just knows. and he's never been wrong.

the demogorgons knew where he was, but they never killed him or camped at his house. we know that he was dragged to the library, which is where the rifts collide, instead of being instantly killed like so many other victims. we know that he manipulated the lights in a way that is different to how the teens did it in season four, and that he also managed to make them move in a circle the way that the lab kids did. we know that there was a point in time when vecna wanted to kill everyone but him. we know that there was a time when vecna wanted him and sent in dogs to get him back. time in the upside down is stuck not on the day that el first opened the gate at eight years old, but on the day that will entered it. furthermore, if henry entered the upside down as we know it on that day years ago, then that also means that will was able to shape it to look like hawkins.

dustin rolled an eleven and lost. eleven went against vecna with the help of everyone and lost. the gates opened up and max is now missing. it's a repeat of season one. everyone that told them this was a risky idea and that they weren't ready was right.

meanwhile, mike and will worked together as a team with no daylight between them in season two, and they managed to close the gate and save the world. they failed to do that in season four, because they were keeping things from each other and thus weren't working as a true team. when they finally start being entirely truthful with each other again in season five, we'll undoubtedly see them save the day again.

will told el that they would fix this together. erica subbed for lucas against vecna, rolled a twenty, and won. will was positioned next to a "the cure" poster, is the only person truly aware of vecna, has a greater connection to the upside down than we previously thought and capabilities that we've yet to uncover, cast the winning fireball against their campaign villains before, was associated with the number twenty and one, has beat the odds more than once, is vecna's character foil, and is confirmed to be getting a bigger focus next season.

it's all right there.

[eyes-blazing]

4-8

(As per usual, since this question doesn’t specify a muse I will be answering for my most active muses. If you’d like to know the answers for anyone else just let me know.)

{4} Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Emrys:

Emrys’ life has been one long list of things that fundamentally changed him, starting from having his hands permanently damaged at the age of 8, to his first love dying in his arms at the age of 13, to meeting an adorable genius named Nathan Sanders ( @agentsanders ). His parents know about most of it, as does his Uncle Thor(though that has more to being the one to bail Emrys out of SHEILD holding cells then Emrys actually telling him things). The only one who knows everything is his oldest sister Hel ( @helreginn ) and Emrys hates that she carries his grief for his lost childhood.

Felet:

If you asked Felet, he’d say no. There hasn’t been anything that he’s witnessed that fundamentally changed him as a person. If you asked me, then the answer would be that watching his birth mother be declared insane and institutionalized at the age of 13 definitely made him rethink his position in the world. Before she was arrested for neglect and abuse he thought he knew everything there was to know…now he knows that he will never know everything. The boy keeps as much of himself secret as he can, only recently letting bits of himself be seen by those closest to him. The idea of being seen and wanted terrifies him so it will be a while before anyone truly knows the effect his past has had on him.

Raven:

As with everything, Raven is unsure. He doesn’t know most of his past, doesn’t know who he was before being hit in the head during a job and he doesn’t know how that person has changed. If there is anyone who does know the answers to this question he doesn’t remember who they are so he can’t ask. Sometimes the thought does make him sad, not knowing who he was verses who he is. Not knowing if the people he loves would still love him if the person he was before was a monster. But he wants those answers. If only to make sure he stays a good man if only for the man he fully intends to marry once he has those answers ( @ourwrittenstories )

Liam:

The only thing Liam can really remember about the night he became a werewolf was turning the corner to see a monster devouring a young girl. The physical changes that he now has to live with would be bad enough but the way he doesn’t want his mother walking alone at night or his girlfriend Roxanne ( @fierylittleniece ) to travel by herself show that that night left more than a physical scar. He hates that the monster took both his body and his peace of mind. As for someone knowing…Roxanne knows some of it but not how much the idea of loosing control like that terrifies him.

Ben:

Ben has seen many terrible things during his service to his country and also in the service to his boss Ayden. He wouldn’t say that any of those events changed him in any significant way. The event that changed who he was to who he is he never saw, his wife’s murder. He knows he is not the same man who first joined the army, nor is he the same man who married his wife, or the same man that let a 15 year old girl find his revenge for him. Who he is now is a father, a partner, and a friend. That’s all that’s needed. The only one who has heard the things he has seen is Raven as Ben knows that his brother would never betray his confidence.

{5} On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Emrys:

His wallet, a guitar pick(of three), keys to his apartment, and his five years sobriety chip.

Felet:

His phone and wallet, a small notebook and pen, and whatever small trinket he picked up as a present for his boyfriend Aster ( @monstersxxorxxmen ) or newly adopted mother Hel ( @helreginn )

Raven:

A knife, his phone, and a picture of his boyfriend.

Liam:

His phone and wallet, a few victims services cards, a pack of gum, and whatever little not Roxanne left for him that morning.

Ben:

His phone, a picture of his daughter Ady, and a single bullet.

{6} Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Emrys:

Emrys’ dreams will either be nightmares of the worst parts of his life, the maiming of his hands, the drug abuse, the death of Darren, getting sober. Or pleasant dreams the future he will have with Nathan. He’d say that the theme is that he had to suffer to be able to fully appreciate how good of a life that he has now.

Felet:

When Felet does dream, it’s always a nightmare. The police coming into his room to tell him that his mother had been arrested and that he had to come with them or his foster father screaming at him as the man shoots him. The feeling of being a burden and unloved. The few times he’s had a nice dream it has been due to Hel intervening.

Raven:

Raven will have a dream about a blond haired woman who smiles softly at him and tells him that she’s proud of him. When he has this dream he always wakes up feeling like he lost something precious to him. If it’s not the woman then it is a general feeling of being lost in a dark fog.

Liam:

Liam dreams about a family, about a little girl with his smile and his wife’s eyes. He dreams of a future where he is safe to be around, a future where he doesn’t have to worry about hurting the woman he loves.

Ben:

Ben’s dreams used to follow the themes of lost, lost friends, lost family, lost love. But after meeting a certain nymph in a certain flower shop his dreams have changed. It’s hard to pin down a a theme perse but they all involve a blond woman and his little girl laughing and happy.

{7} Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Please see previous answers. My boys don’t get happy dreams(or backstories or current stories or…mostly anything. Sorry not sorry)

{8} Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Emrys:

The first time Emrys fired a gun he was around 14 years old, it was a part of his “sober training”. His mother, Sera, set up various targets and let her angry, still dealing with withdrawal, and hurting son go wild. He only hit one target that day but now he could hit all of them with one eye closed.

Felet:

Felet is terrified of guns, understandably so, and if anyone ever handed him one he’d probably run away. Or pass out.

Raven:

Raven has fired a gun, he doesn’t know what the first thing he shot at was or who taught him or why. Now he prefers to use knifes to do his work but he can still handle a gun just fine if the situation calls for it.

Liam:

He is a police detective so he has fired a gun before, though his first time was at a shooting range with his father with he was 15. His mother still had the paper target with his wide spread shots stored in the attic.

Ben:

Ben first shot a gun in the woods behind his grandfathers house at a line of cans, his grandfather was one of those “the government is going to come for us” types and wanted to make sure his grandson was prepared. Ben’s parents were not amused that their 8 year old had a pistol in his hands.

[lanxyuu]

Okay, so I had time to process my upset gut feelings and think/read about different takes, and my feelings have shifted. This beautiful art from Twitter (link) that really helped solidify it for me as well.

Kenjaku's possession is such an act of objectification and violation of automony, so seeing Gojo, who's been experiencing that his whole life, get treated like this in death as well was definitely extremely upsetting, and I was disappointed in the writing for having his arc seemingly end on such a depressing note.

But as I thought about it more - Yuta doing this is completely different from Kenjaku. In this chapter, it's shown that Yuta was the one who most clearly was aware of Gojo's burden, and wanted to share it. He's the only one who so clearly outwardly acknowledged it, and demanded that the burden of "becoming a monster" had to be shared by someone - before volunteering himself to be that someone.

And it's not just the body of Gojo that Yuta gets - it's Gojo's memories as well. The idea of experiencing, knowing everything about Gojo's life and memories seems unfathomable. His status as The Strongest puts him in a position that feels almost sacred, separated from "normal human beings" and thus incomprehensible to us - which is exactly why Gojo carried the burden alone. Yuta - who wanted to carry that burden, the one who told Gojo "don't try to become a monster all by yourself anymore" - is the one who ends up bridging this separation through a method severely risking his own life.

Kenjaku, somebody who's lost all humanity, derived value from Geto's memories by learning about Gojo's weaknesses. He's the prime example of "using somebody for their powers" and the sheer dehumanization that sorcerers go through. On the other hand, Yuta, by gaining Gojo's memories, is viscerally understanding the life of "the strongest sorcerer" in a self-sacrificing act that I believe is truly the most selfless way to share that burden - by giving himself up and becoming one with Gojo.

By fighting even after the brink of death in this messed-up, horrible state of being in Gojo's body, Yuta is literally sharing the burden of The Strong - acting as a weapon and disregarding his own personhood to do so - as Gojo, The Strongest, had to do. Only in this situation, it's even more twisted than your own individuality having no value to society, because Yuta has sacrificed his life in his own body, giving up his own personhood in the most twisted way possible to be this weapon.

Yuta's character is all about love, and I can now see this heart-wrenching, self-sacrificing possession as a final act of love; of becoming one with Gojo who has always been alone, of truly understanding and living and sharing that sole burden. But the fact that he was pushed into this position is very tragic, and after having these thoughts with more clarity, I now think it's actually very well-done in showing the uncaring, thankless world of sorcery that everybody is victim to. These feelings of horror and upset and disgust are intentional, and we can see how the discussion of how inhumane the plan is was shown in this chapter.

Overall, my feelings are a lot more mixed now, but the way I'm feeling now is likely what was intended - not the way I felt before, where I felt like it was just a fumbling of Gojo's character arc. It's also made me REALLY appreciate Yuta a lot more, and he's definitely solidified himself as one of my favourite characters after this.

Since we're deep in the heat of battle, and this is the first chapter of Yuta possessing Gojo's body, I am now hoping that after the dust settles, if Gojo truly doesn't come back, there will be a bit more reflection on Gojo's life and character, now that Yuta literally has all of Gojo's memories. After all, this chapter had Yuta really strongly highlight Gojo's solitary burden, and showed Gojo (ONCE AGAIN) reflecting on his past with Geto. So overall I feel like I can expect something a bit more reflective later on?

Even if it's Yuta - who cares about Gojo, who expressed that he wanted to lift the burden of becoming a monster all alone from Gojo - using Gojo's body, it still stings so much. The way his body is being used like this - a weapon, a tool, like all of society has treated him his whole life, only now in death as well. The only value is purely derived from him being the strongest. Satoru Gojo as a person is discarded. The only thing that matters is the empty body of The Strongest Sorcerer.

I refuse to accept his story ending this way. By bringing back his memory and body, it shows that Gojo's presence in the story STILL isn't completely, 100% over yet, and I really, really hope this isn't how it ends for him as a character.

[iamnotawomanimagod]

the thing about Seth is that he is charming, good-looking, approachable, affable, self-deprecating and charitable - all those positive, likeable things. those are all accurate descriptors of who Seth is.

even rewatching, knowing what's coming, what horrific things he does, it's very hard not to like him.

he's so good with people. he sees the best parts of them and is a master at drawing that out and making people feel good about themselves. he uses that skill to genuinely help Raf, and even Josh (at least, at first.) he's funny, easygoing, and knows how to bring people together, to make everyone feel included and seen. he finds those on the edges of a group and brings them into the fold.

but once he's humiliated in front of the group - once he becomes the one on the fringe, even for the briefest moment - he completely snaps.

you can see it in his eyes and his body language, especially when Josh comes to do the same thing Seth usually does for others, trying to draw him back into the group. there is such intense rage and loathing in his eyes, such disgust for Josh's attempt at friendship. and it takes very little time for that rage and disgust to erupt in violence.

Seth is so enraged and embarrassed by this perceived loss of control - by the idea that people might actually see him for what he is, that his neediness and thirst for approval would put him in the exact same category as Josh (a dorky, awkward loser, the butt of every joke,) if it weren't for Seth's charm and his good looks - he commits a truly disgusting, unforgivable crime just to reassert that control of his sense of self and of his place in the social hierarchy.

it's horrible. truly disgusting. monstrous.

and yet, what Henry says to Raf about Seth is so true:

"you're not stupid for thinking he was great. 'cause a lot of him really is."

the good things about Seth don't excuse or cancel out what he does to Josh, or did to Julia. but neither do the bad things erase the good. Seth is all of the good things he seems to be before episode four - charming and funny and generous and supportive - but he's also a monster, an abuser, the kind of person we all generally agree deserves to live on the fringes of society. that is all true, all at once.

the boys' storyline is so interesting because they really had to contend with how to treat someone who does something unforgivable in a world where there are no courts, no cops or judges or jails, no authority to handle punishment or rehabilitation.

what rights does that person have, especially on a "lawless" island? is it acceptable for them to lose the right to a group when living alone is all but a death sentence?

what if they're your friend, and they've been there for you when you were low, and they've helped you grow and become a better person? what if they were one of your only friends in an awful situation?

and, above all else - what is the appropriate way to ask and answer those questions while still giving dignity, respect, and safety to the victim? how do you balance serving justice without perpetuating further violence?

could this have gone any other way? was there even another possible way to protect Josh (and everyone else) from Seth without exiling Seth and essentially condemning him to death?

I don't have answers for these questions, and I don't think the show comes to any concrete conclusions either. but god, what a fascinating examination of them.

[twiceasfrustrating]

I'm sorry if I already requested this of you I honestly have the memory of a walnut. But can I request headcannons of the boys + dia who find out MC has an emotionally abusive husband? Like fluff with some murder maybe?

thank you

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Characters: Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)

Additional Tags: abusive relationship mentioned, some are a bit murdery, I don't know how to write fluff for such a situation but I tried

A/N: If you are in an abusive situation in the USA and need to speak to someone, please call 1-800-799-7233. If you cannot call, you can also text “START” to 88788. If it is safe for you, you can also go to the website directly. Abuse takes many forms, but it is always about control.

Feel free to add the numbers/contact for other countries if you have them.

Lucifer

He got upset at MC once and they flinched when he yelled and they started apologizing like there was no tomorrow. That was how he found out something was wrong. They wouldn’t say anything, but he could tell that something was deeply wrong. Perhaps he had never noticed before the formation of their pact how MC shuddered around him whenever he got upset, but now he did.

He is very careful not to yell again and when he does he is quick to lower his voice the second MC shows distress, reassuring them that he is not angry at them and would not harm them. It sounds almost hollow after how he acted when they originally met, but he means it.

There was one time MC dropped a dish on the floor while cooking and it broke, spilling hot food everywhere. They started picking up the pieces in a hurry, not even paying attention to how the hot shards burned and cut up their hands.

Lucifer was quick to pick them up off the ground and tend to the fresh injuries, all while they kept apologizing and saying that they would clean it up as soon as they could and saying they would make something else. Lucifer forbade them from doing either and cleaned the mess himself. He did that a lot. Took care of their ‘mistakes’ and cared for them. They would almost believe he wasn't the same terrifying man they had first met.

It takes a long time for MC to get used to their new relationship with Lucifer and once they do they are far more comfortable and less skittish.

He is not pressuring the story out of them. He can wait, as difficult as it is, for them to open up. However, he is no fool. He knows who is to blame, and that man should be very afraid should Lucifer and he ever meet.

Mammon

MC always spoke so well of their husband when they first met the brothers. Mammon was actually jealous and wished MC would talk about him that way. They would always say how kind their husband was and how he loved them and how he wanted the best for them. It sounded like some kind of cheesy romance novel.

Things started to get weird though when he and MC started to get even closer. He would invite them out, only to hear “I don’t think my husband would like that” or “I shouldn’t be alone with you”. It was weird the first time, but it quickly became a pattern. A very worrying pattern. Mammon knew abuse when he saw it. He was the family butt monkey and a witch punching bag, after all.

The difference is that he’s a fallen angel that is used to such treatment and, as a demon, the things done to him do very little in the long run. Humans are far more fragile though; their minds, bodies, and hearts. And then Mammon started to hate MC’s husband with a passion that could not be matched.

He cared less about making that bastard pay and more about taking care of MC. Such treatment can ruin a person, especially good people like MC. He would do anything to show them that they deserved better than that man, whatever that eventually meant.

Leviathan

He and MC have a little too much in common for his taste. It is actually almost disgusting how little self-worth they seem to have, but he can also see how that was trained into them.

They play down their worth a lot: “It’s nothing”, “It could be better”, “I failed again”, etc. They never say anything positive about themself. They are really good at picking out their flaws, but almost incapable of pointing out their merits.

It goes against everything Levi believes in, but he has to start praising them since they won’t praise themself. He likes hanging out with them, the stuff they make is nice, they are a really quick learner. It feels weird to praise someone, but it’s nice to see MC start to feel a little better about all the things they do.

Although, he also has the mild thought of showing MC’s husband that there are more terrifying things in the world than the horrors a human is capable of. After all, Levi has seen the monsters that dwell in the deep; he is one of those monsters and there is a reason humans fear the darkest depths.

Satan

There are some wonderful upsides to being the avatar of wrath. Normally, Satan wouldn't be so crass as to give into them, but sometimes humanity is just so vile that he can't help himself.

One of those upsides is a mind filled to the brim with the instinctual desire to rip and tear anything he can get his hands on to pieces. It's an instinct he fights off constantly with his centuries of training and self-discovery, but just this once he doesn't mind becoming the beast he was born as.

MC's husband squeals like a stuck pig throughout the entire night, only the winds, spiders, and Satan being able to hear and appreciate the sound. And appreciate it he does, until the screaming stops and his hands are drenched with blood.

He really needs to get himself cleaned off before he sees MC again, otherwise they will be terrified. He needs to look his best when they come running to him worried about their missing husband. It’s sad how much they worry about him despite everything.

Asmodeus

MC was always so calm and docile when he wanted to spend time with them. He didn’t really get it at first but it was easier to dress them up and take them out, so he didn’t question it. At least, not until someone (read: Solomon) not so subtly pointed out that it is unusual for someone to be so passive, almost to the point of being doll-like.

Asmo didn’t believe it at first. How could anyone treat someone as sweet as MC so cruelly, especially someone that is supposed to love them? But from that day onward, his eyes were opened up and he started to notice things.

The way they didn’t put forth their own opinions and let him take the lead on everything, how they stuck close to him when they both went out, the subtle way their fingers reached out then drew back when they liked something.

“Do you like it?” He would ask and their response was “do you?”

It was so difficult to get them to start putting their own wants and desires above what they thought he’d like. When they showed interest in something, he would fawn all over it. If they liked something, he liked it too. He would buy them things they even glanced casually at, told them they were worthwhile and lovely, anything that other man would never say to them.

He tore them down so completely, but Asmo would work tirelessly to build them back up.

Beelzebub

He is the softest man in the world, and sometimes MC just lets things slip out. He’s very easy to open up to and they don’t think about what they say. He was the first person that they opened up to about what was happening to them.

Suffice it to say, Beel was shocked when they mentioned how terrified they were for the exchange program to end. Despite everything that they had been through over the past year, they didn’t want to go back.

Beel had only felt so powerless one other time in his life. He couldn’t go with them to protect them and they couldn’t stay in the Devildom forever to stay safe. It was painfully cruel just how much he couldn’t help them.

All he could do was hold them and listen to them get everything off of their chest, dreading the day that the exchange program would end.

MC has to hurry up and learn how to summon him, because he wants to keep them safe from that awful situation. He would never allow another person it the world to hurt them again.

Belphegor

Belphie likes exactly one human in the three realms and every other one is none of his concern. Or, they wouldn’t be his concern if it weren’t for the fact that the one human he cared about was the victim of this particular instance.

He’s not like some of his other brothers. He doesn’t do comfort and he isn’t the best at torture, prefering to get everything over with quickly so he doesn’t have to expend all the extra energy. But, for such a special occasion, he is more than willing to put in the effort.

Humans really do create their own worst fears. Their minds run a mile a minute and they have the strangest way of finding how their own terrors can overpower what little defenses they have.

He may not be able to touch MC’s husband, but he can certainly return every slight against his favorite human. Long, sleepless nights wracked with unending horrors that only that man can truly appreciate.

All the while, he will gladly hold MC when their own nightmares overtake them, trying to put their mind at ease for just this moment. How he wished that his powers could control the waking world as well as their dreams...

Diavolo

“Don’t go back.” It was the first time Diavolo had brought up the idea. It was one he had been considering for a long time, knowing that it was extreme given that MC was a human and had to live in the human realm. However, he couldn’t live with himself knowing the kind of life MC would return to once they left.

The shouting, the insults, discarding everything MC liked because their husband doesn’t care for it… Diavolo would never feel right knowing he sent someone dear to him back there.

He had the means to help them get literally anywhere but back to that man. Diavolo could help set them free from that life, even if they didn’t want to stay in the Devildom. He knew MC would have the support of everyone they had met.

All they had to do was say yes and he would move the Devildom itself to get them out of there.

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers Getting Possessive at the Club

… I can explain. Or, well, no I can't. But this exists now anyway so enjoy?

Warnings: Possessive Behavior, Yandere-ish, Violence

Intro: The MC and their favorite demon were just trying to have a fun night out at The Fall. The lights were going, the music was blaring, and the two of them were by the bar but there was a problem. Their demon noticed a sketchy creep who'd been eyeing their human all night long… and that simply won't do. So when their human left to use the bathroom…

It was time to take care of the problem.

Lucifer

Though Lucifer was usually less than into the club scene, the MC wanted a change of pace from their usual dates and he did so want to make them happy… At first, he thought he'd just be dealing with the loud noise and crowded atmosphere but then he noticed something else…

A demon had been following them through most of the night, always keeping his distance but staring at the MC far too much for his liking…

This put Lucifer in a bit of an odd position. He didn't exactly want to leave the club because the MC didn't look tired yet, but he also didn't like seeing that cretin following them around…

Yet, of course, it also rubbed his pride the wrong way to go tell him to stop directly. Lucifer would never admit to feeling bothered by some pitiful lesser demon… Never.

But by the time the MC left him to use the restroom, he was at his wit's end. He could see the man had taken a seat at the other end of the bar just to watch them and he was growing irritated… So he had to devise a new strategy.

It's unusual for demons to walk around in their true forms. It's not that it's frowned upon or anything, it's just that it's normally something reserved for big events… or for displays of dominance and control.

So when Lucifer slipped into his demon form in the middle of The Fall, it turned quite a few heads. Truthfully, there was only one head in particular that he wanted his way, and once he got it, he stared the guy down…

It was a taste of the lowlife's own medicine, but so much worse coming from him… The feel of Lucifer's bloody-onyx eyes and chillingly cold smile from across the bar could have made even the strongest men run for the hills…

Needless to say, the demon didn't last very long under the eldest brother's gaze. In fact, he wilted almost immediately before slinking away as quickly as he could… 

A guy not even able to stomach the firstborn's stare? Truly a pathetic coward if Lucifer ever saw one.

He was totally back to normal by the time the MC returned and went back to dancing with them like nothing ever happened… Though his human couldn't help but notice the crowd kept their distance from them for the rest of the night... 

Eh, Hell is just weird sometimes isn't it?

Mammon

Look, Mammon had been trying to have some fun the whole night and for the most part he'd been succeeding except for one thing…

He could sense that asshole still hadn't left them alone. He'd just hover near him and his MC like a hellhound stalking prey… It was annoying. It was creepy…

And it was reeeaaallly getting on his nerves.

When the MC left for the restroom, he was leaning back against the bar scanning the room for their abhorrent admirer while using the tint of his sunglasses to hide his eyes.

It didn't take him long to see the gross fuck sitting alone at a table. Who knew what he was planning... following them home? Taking candid shots of MC? Either way, he wanted to sock him in the jaw…

But, of course, Mammon knew he had to play it just a little smoother than that to stay in the club.

Mammon sauntered over to the man's table and invited himself to sit, kicking his feet up to look casual but knocking his boots against the surface so roughly it made the guy jump... Pathetic.

"Oi, so I've seen ya lookin at my human… Real work of art, eh?" He flashed the guy a fanged grin and watched him sweat for a second before cutting off any answer.

"-'course they are. Don't need to tell me. But I gotta say, you're really ticking me off, bud… We're just tryin to enjoy ourselves but I keep seeing your ugly mug wherever we're at."

He pulled his legs back from the table and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a deck of playing cards.

"Tell ya what, I'm feelin oddly generous so let's play a game. You and me. If ya win, I'll let ya have a night with'em…" He fought the urge to punch the guy when he saw his eyes light up, "but if I win…"

Mammon put the deck on the table then leaned in real close, "I'll flay your skin off and gild ya skeleton in the 4th circle myself… Gold skulls are selling like hotcakes right now." He put every bit of malice he could into the threat, even barring his increasingly sharpening fangs.

The guy must of had a good head on him because he paled immediately before getting up and running from the table. If there's one thing everybody knows about Mammon, it's never play cards with him if he can make even a single Grimm… Chances are, you're gonna lose.

When the MC came back, Mammon flagged them down to their new table and pulled them onto his lap for a little chat before getting more drinks. They're his human. His.

Leviathan

Of course Levi noticed this creep the second that they walked in. He's Envy. He had been hyper-vigilant of all the attention the MC had been receiving since their first step inside. But this guy was… persistent.

He'd been tailing them all night, always finding spots with good vantage points, which of course was sketch as hell but...

Honestly? Levi just didn't like him looking at them. Not at all. In fact, he'd hazard to say he truly hated this complete stranger for how much real estate his eyes were taking up of his precious MC… What gave him the right??

By the time the MC had to use the restroom, he was sitting at the bar seriously contemplating whether or not to just carry them home… He didn't like night clubs anyway, but they seemed to be having fun and they always looked so cute while dancing…

No. He couldn't just take them home. But once they left, he had a much better idea.

It was easy for Levi to slip away from the bar. The asshole was leaned back against a nearby wall and pretty much pulled his phone out the second the MC was out of sight. From there, Levi only had to do what he did best, blend into the background, until he was right next to the guy...

He didn't say anything. He didn't give him any warning or threat. No, no he was far too ticked to be that charitable…

The only indication the man got of how royally he fucked up was the searing pain of Levi's fangs digging into his shoulder, the thirdborn's gloved hand muffling his screams until the venom took hold of his prey.

The last thing that man ever saw, propped up and paralyzed against the wall, was the MC coming back to their docile otaku, who now pulled them into his arms… still shooting the occasional smirk in his victim's direction.

And the last thing he ever heard was the same word his killer whispered to him after his throat became too tight to scream… "Mine."

Satan

This always seemed to happen whenever he took the MC places… They could be walking together in the park and he'd still see lesser demon eyes following them around...

Frankly, it did piss him off to a degree. He knew they never asked to be stared at like a piece of meat, but if he'd go on a rampage every time it happened then they'd never have a quiet date again. So he learned to put up with it… to an extent.

The demon that had been following them that night was really testing his notoriously short patience...

He had tried several tactics to shake the guy as they were dancing but he'd always come right back. He even got more handsy than normal to show, "Hey, this one is mine!" but that had gotten him equally dismal results… It was bordering the line of disrespect now.

He did his best to keep up a friendly face while the MC was with him, but they must have noticed he'd gotten tense. They told him to try and relax a bit before they left for the bathroom…

Oh, he was going to relax alright.

The second they were out of sight, Satan's smile broke into a glare he leveled right at the offending scumbag's table. Of course, seeing the MC had left put the guy's attention elsewhere, but that was his funeral.

Satan knew his time was limited, so he skipped the pleasantries and marched right over to him, slamming his foot down onto the edge of the table with such force it threatened to tip it over then grabbed him by the neck.

"Back. OFF."

It really didn't take much, his reputation preceded him. He felt the guy's pulse skyrocket between his fingers before he let him go.

It was hard not to get a little satisfaction when watching the worthless creep scramble away from him like his life depended on it (as it very much did). He almost considered giving chase just to amp up the fun, but the MC returned sooner than he expected…

A pair of arms around his waist and lips against his cheek were enough to evaporate his anger right then… but it didn't settle his sudden need to mark them in the slightest.

Ultimately, the real question was whether he could wait until they got home to show the world that they were his or if they needed to find somewhere… quieter. No promises, MC.

Asmodeus 

Asmo had dealt with his fair share of admirers, the stalking kind included. Fortunately, dealing with them had always been relatively easy for him (he is a ruler of Hell after all) but one targeting his beloved human…? That was far less acceptable in his eyes.

He caught sight of the beady eyes of the creep while he was dancing with the MC. At first, he thought the guy was looking at him (who wouldn't?) but then he followed his eyeline right to his lovely human companion…

Though he couldn't exactly blame him for staring, he and MC made a fantastic looking pair, he definitely couldn't sit idly by either. People like this are usually bad news and he refused to let any harm come to his MC…!

He was as tactful as ever, though. He liked The Fall and would rather not be banned from returning… He waited patiently for the MC to go to the bathroom before making his way over to the creep, his perfect smile still sitting on his face.

"Excuse me, cutie." He waited for the stalker's eyes to leave his phone and settle on Asmo's own. "Ah, there you are! Good. I had a question for you, I think… oh no, I must have forgotten it! Silly me."

Though he could see the demon was growing annoyed, Asmo stalled for just a few moments longer… just long enough for his bewitching charm to set into his victim's mind.

"Ah! Now I remember. Do you like dogs?" He smiled in satisfaction to see the creeper's head nod slowly. "Oh good! Because I know a very hungry dog right now… Cerberus is his name and I don't think he's had a meal today. Would you be a doll and go feed him for me? He lives in the cave behind the House of Lamentation. You can't miss him."

The demon's head nodded slowly yet again as he rose from his chair and walked out of the club quietly. Quick, painless, and with no messy cleanup!

Well… none that Cerberus wouldn't clean up for him anyway. Asmo returned to the bar with a newly giddy grin on his face... His MC wouldn't be seeing that man ever again~!

Beelzebub 

Beel is very patient. Beel is very kind. Beel is very forgiving. Beel is… really not about this right now...

Unlike his brothers, Beel's easygoing nature made him less quick to pick up on the lingering glances that the MC gets from others. Even when he does notice, he can usually let it slide if looking is all they do (he's the only one who can touch after all).

But even he couldn't miss how wolfishly that demon was staring at them… It made him uncomfortable and the guy just refused to leave them alone…

By the time the MC left Beel at the bar to use the restroom, he was on a level of irritated usually only reserved for when someone denied him food… It was like that jerk had taken a cheese grater to his patience and it was wearing thin…

As much as he knew he could deck him, he didn't want to get them kicked out… The MC was having such a good time, despite the creep's ogling, so he used a different approach…

Being so high up in Hell had its perks and one was that anywhere in town that offered food also had a secret menu… A Beelzebub Only menu (as a precaution so that he wouldn't wreck the place whenever he stopped by). Anything on his menu always had huge portions and The Fall was no exception.

The bartender didn't seem too surprised when he ordered a Drakon Leg, but he was very surprised when he asked to get the full bone too… Not with the meat on it. Just the bone.

Fun Fact: the bones of Drakons are supremely thick and strong enough to be used as clubs.

Even More Fun Fact: it takes an incredible amount of force to snap these bones…

...which Beel did without breaking a sweat… and maintaining eye contact with the creep The. Entire. Time. The sound of the bone snapping in two was almost as deafening as a gunshot and he didn't even flinch.

The demon went running out of the club with his tail between his legs and quickly got swapped out for the MC running back, worried about what made such a loud noise…

Of course, by that time Beel had the bone thrown away and was chowing down on the meat like nothing ever happened so they dropped the subject soon enough...

He may not be as open about when he claims someone as the rest of his family but that's because when push comes to shove, who in their right mind would want to challenge Beel anyway...?

Belphegor 

Nope. Nope. Nope nope nope, he's not having this. Not one bit.

Belphie lacks a lot of the good-natured patience of his twin... Chances are if there's something happening and he's not stopping it, it's just because putting up with it is the path of least resistance…

But there are always exceptions and those are usually reserved for the MC.

Strangers trying to get close or even imagining themselves being with MC really makes his blood boil… He knew them the most. He loved them the most. On just what grounds did some random moron think he could take his place?? Wishful thinking? Keep dreaming, buddy.

So, of course, he wasn't happy when he noticed some asshole staring at the MC like Beel does when he sees a havoc roast...

He kept his poker face up while he was with the MC, but he was devising a plan to take care of him the entire time… One he finally got the chance to enact once the MC went to the bathroom.

He's even better at going unnoticed than Levi, so sneaking his way over to the asshole was a piece of cake. He didn't notice until Belphie casually draped his arm around the guy's neck, hanging his clawed hand dangerously close to the scumbag's heart...

"Having a good time…?"

He could feel a shallow swallow against his arm as he began to slowly apply pressure to his trachea.

"I bet you were… and I was too until I saw you following us… Care to explain yourself?"

"I-I uh-Gah!" 

The guy's voice gets cut off by Belphie's arm getting even tighter, the sharp tips of his claws drumming directly over the man's thundering heart.

"Ugh, that's what you actually sound like? Never mind, it's not worth knowing…" His fingers stopped drumming and slowly began to dig into his skin...

"I'm only going to say this once… If I ever see you tailing my human again, you won't be needing this-" his claws drilled a little deeper into his chest, "-anymore. Am I clear?"

The demon's head nodded as much as his strangled throat would allow and Belphie finally retracted his claws, wiping the blood off on the guy's shirt before letting him go. He fell forward onto all fours before attempting to scramble away as fast as he could...

Belphie watched him go with disinterest on his face, but satisfaction in his heart. Yet another threat to his human dealt with… And they could go back to enjoying their evening together. Alone. Just where his human belonged...

[linkspooky]

"The Only Ones the Heroes Protect Are Themselves."

is a quote given to us by Dabi. That's starting to sound more and more true after this press conference chapter. This post will be mainly talking about Hawks, because I think this chapter sheds a lot of light on Hawks' flaws as a character.

I think for understanding Hawks it's important to know this:

And this:

Are both Hawks. Hawks is both the person willing to manipulate, scheme and ruthlessly hunt down others for the sake of the greater good, and he's also the person who just wants to help because his whole life he's felt useless and unworthy. Hawks is both the overly idealistic child who believes in heroes and just wants tp help the heroes, and at the same time, the cynical adult who thinks heroes can't always save people.

Some part of Hawks is aware that this darker side of him exists. He tells the hero commission that he's willing to dirty his hands for the sake of general peace. He specifically warns the villains not to underestimate his resolve. He tells Twice that he's not the type to get tripped up by sentiment in the crucial stages of his plan.

However, at the same time Hawks doesn't cop up to this side of his personality. If you confront Hawks about his actions in any way he switches back to his hero-mode. I don't believe this is because Hawks believes himself to be a good person. I don't even think Hawks defines himself as a person to begin with, just a tool. It makes sense that Hawks doesn't have a consistent identity it all goes back to his origins.

All Hawks could do was internalize everything he felt, and every abuse hurtled at him by his parents. All he wanted to believe back then was that he wouldn't turn out the same way they did. He wanted to believe in some good part of him.

However, I wonder if Hawk truly believes he's good. If he truly believes he's a good hero. He seems to have internalized so much of his abuse when he was younger that he has little self worth and all of it, is built around what kind of things he does for other people. He has to believe he's helping other people, because otherwise he crumbles. Otherwise the part of his head that tells him he was just trash the hero council picked up on the side of the road, is right.

I'm touching upon all of this to say Hawks does not really have a sense of self-identity. It's very weak, and he bases it on things are around him instead, things he can cling to provide him some sense of self worth, his role as a hero, his pseudo-imagined relationship with Endeavor, the idea that the things he's doing is ultimately for the public good. Because he's clinging to these things it makes it almost impossible to be self-critical. Because if Hawks isn't a hero, then he's nothing. Hawks also, similarly, can't deal with any criticism to the institution of hero because that's the institution that saved him, that's where he belongs, that's where all of his personal relationships are.

Hawks previously thought everything he did was for the public good, because heroes protected the people, hero and the public were both aligned.

However, when the public they're protecting begins to question the heroes, when they're not alligned Hawks picks the heroes.

Now I'll touch on Enji briefly to give an example of why this is wrong. Enji's excuse for why he didn't do anything with Toya, why he didn't even try to be a father, was because he was a hero first before he was a person.

Both Enji and Hawks (they're meant to be read as character foils) divide their personalities this way. They are who they are as heroes, before their faults and individual failings as people. However, in reality, they're just running away from their actions. Enji is depicted entirely in shadow in these few panels, the same way Hawks is depicted in shadow when confronting Twice.

Ultimately it doesn't matter if whatever Hawks did to Twice was justified or not, the problem is he wasn't a hero to Twice. He decided in that moment Twice was not worth saving. He divided that line between who gets to get saved, and who doesn't.

What I mean when I say that Hawks is unable to cop up to the darker sides of his personality, is that he's unable to acknowledge when he's done a bad thing. Which is also, something he shares in common with Enji. Enji's failures are never personal ones, he's never the one at fault. Toya's death was what drove him to train Shoto so hard (nevermind the fact he was already doing that beforehand.) Toya attacking Shoto was the reason that Enji had to isolate Shoto (nevermind, that Toya himself a thirteen-year-old kid was able to recognize that he was wrong to blame his brother, but it's still unfair for his father to put all his attention on Shoto and leave the rest of his kids alone). Uraraka is the narrator for this chapter, but Uraraka also said this.

IThe real question is, are heroes to be held individually responsible for their actions? Can we criticize heroes as people? Hawks, Enji, and Jeanist all seem to believe that identity and world of heroes is far too important to level criticisms at any individual. That the world of heroes somehow, elevates them from others in a way that makes them impossible to understand, because they have more responsibility.

I'm not going to say Hawks doesn't feel sorry for Twice. He expressed like, the greatest possible expression of public apology he can. The problem however is everything else about Hawks. Twice apologizes for the act of killing twice and expresses it as a moral failing on his part, while stating he had no choice before that point. 

Hawks is unaware of his own personal biases, and his own flaws, and therefore properly can’t account to them. He thinks his failing was that he couldn’t convince Jin to join his side. Not that his wrongdoing was his act of choosing only Jin to save because he was one of the “good” victims, and only offering Jin the chance to atone conditional on him betraying his friends. He’s still picking and choosing between good and bad in who he helps. And Hawks’ standards for that are pretty biased. Notice how his help for Enji doesn’t involve mandatory jailtime and atonement for his crimes like it did with Twice. Enji still gets to remain a hero. 

Hawks has a bias and it goes on unacknowledged, by framing his actions as heroic and for the greater good. 

His priority isn't to make the same mistake again with Twice or even to feel bad about Twice, it's to stop public criticism. It even comes down to the way he frames his own actions, Hawk doesn't acknowledge the part of him that manipulated Twice, held him at gunpoint, forced him to choose between his friends and his own safety, cruelly taunted him. All of things which were by the way, an abuse of his power, and things Hawks did because he personally likes to feel in control of situations not because it was necessary for the greater good to break Twice mentally like that.

Hawks didn't do all those things in the Hawks vs. Twice situation, because he was forced to in a bad situation. Hawks planned the whole situation out to give himself control over the situation, and try to manipulate Twice into siding with him because he liked Twice. It's like, written in a very specific way to show how manipulative Hawks is for setting things up this way, the whole thing was a set up. However, hawks can't cop up to that. He frames it like an oopsie daisy. He frames it like something he did in the heat of the moment because he felt like he had no other choice, and not something that was pre-meditated and all set up by him beforehand. It's because, while Hawks acts like this, he never owns up to his actions, he only ever frames himself as the guy willing to sacrifice anything in order to help people. The guy determined to be helpful and useful to others. Therefore he can't find fault within himself and he can't find fault within heroes.

Even with Enji, his first response isn't, "Wow, if heroes are using their position to cover up their crimes we should investigate how other heroes might be abusing their families." It's to find a way to make Enji look good for the public, so the public gets off his back.

Uraraka says that if Toga wants to threaten people she has to live with the consequences, but the heroes aren't living with conesquences for their actions. It's not just that Hawks murdered someone. I mean after all, I argue that Toga who kills lots of people., Shigaraki who destroys whole cities, Dabi who admits to murdering 30 people, are all people who I think are going to get positive character development.

However, they all also accept that they're going to be seen as murderers. Dabi calls himself a murderer live on television. Toga accepts it, when Uraraka says that she has no choice but to put her down if she's going to hurt others. Shigaraki even holds himself responsible for the murder of his family which was a complete accident, he had to have his reluctance to hurt other people beaten out of him.

It's not that Hawks murdered a person, but rather he can kill a person and not see himself as a murderer. Just speaking in terms of character development, to have a character arc, a character must first acknowledge they are wrong, and then work to improve on that wrong. Hawks hasn't reached the first part.

Hawks and Enji are unable to admit to their personal failings, because not only do they appear to the public only as heroes, but they also think "Heroes" are like a special protected class of people. They can make up for all of their flaws by being good heroes. However, it's not the public that they're defending. Just like it's not his family that Enji is really doing all these things for. Time and time again, they choose to be heroes over everythig else, because the world of heroes is the only place they exist in. Being seen as a good hero is what validates both of them. For Hawks it comes from his own perosnal trauma and loneliness, from Enji his priority of being a good hero above everything else. So if you ewre to strip all of that away, if you were to admit, that Hawks deciding to kill Twice, that Enji abusing his family, doesn't make them very good heroes? Means they aren't entitled to being heroes anymore? What would be left of them for both of them? They'd just be left with what they've done and who they are and neither of them are or were ever very happy with themselves. Which is why, rather than trying to be better people. Trying to address the cricticisms that other people have lobbied to them, including Endeavor's own son who was personally hurt by him. It keeps coming back to being better heroes.

They're not heroes though, they're just people. Everyone is just people in the end.

[hamliet]

Unless a Grain of Wheat Falls and It Dies...

Or, why I am pretty optimistic about the fates of Jean, Connie, Gabi, and all titanized people this chapter, which is also an excuse for me to talk about SnK’s allusions to Russian literature. 

There are strikingly parallel ideas The Brothers Karamazov and Attack on Titan, as well as parallel plot points and imagery to the point where if it isn’t deliberate, it’s uncanny. (NB: before people yell at me about comparing a Japanese and Russian work, Isayama has used Russian names since the start of SnK--Shiganshina is a Russian name.) In particular, there are narrative allusions to a portion of the novel known as “The Grand Inquisitor,” which is a short story within a novel. The central thesis of “The Grand Inquisitor” is as follows: 

nothing has ever been more insupportable for a man and a human society than freedom. 

This parable is told within the story by Ivan Karamazov, a character whose intellectuality is his gift and his curse. He tells his brother Alyosha that the motivation for creating this parable is precisely the evils done to children (oh look, a major SnK theme) and specifically cites an example which was unfortunately taken from real life in Russia and which Isayama has an uncanny parallel:

I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion and the victim rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when every one suddenly understands what it has all been for. All the religions of the world are built on this longing, and I am a believer. But then there are the children, and what am I to do about them? That's a question I can't answer... If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have children to do with it, tell me, please? ... if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their fathers' crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension. Some jester will say, perhaps, that the child would have grown up and have sinned, but you see he didn't grow up, he was torn to pieces by the dogs, at eight years old...

... How are you going to atone for them? Is it possible? ... What do I care for a hell for oppressors? What good can hell do, since those children have already been tortured? ... I want to forgive. I want to embrace. I don't want more suffering. And if the sufferings of children go to swell the sum of sufferings which was necessary to pay for truth, then I protest that the truth is not worth such a price. ... too high a price is asked for harmony; it's beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it... It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return Him the ticket.”

The actual parable of “The Grand Inquisitor” is Ivan’s answer to Alyosha’s question about Ivan’s lines above. Ivan tells a story about how freedom is actually what dooms humanity: it is the curse. (Alyosha does not believe this.) Jesus comes back to earth and is promptly arrested, because his existence and return threaten the wellbeing of society. To be happy, one cannot be free, but one or two strong people in society should be free and bear the burden for everyone else (you can see the parallels to King Fritz/the Reisses). 

Nothing is more seductive for man than his freedom of conscience, but nothing is a greater cause of suffering... all his life he loved humanity, and suddenly his eyes were opened, and he saw that it is no great moral blessedness to attain perfection and freedom, if at the same time one gains the conviction that millions of God's creatures have been created as a mockery, that they will never be capable of using their freedom...

This is SnK’s thesis: to be free, there will be suffering. It is part of human nature, and yet to not have it is to be lost. But SnK, despite its explorations of human darkness and monstrosity, has a higher view of humanity than does Ivan. SnK’s view is more alongside Alyosha’s, who says what is honestly the truth about not just the Reisses, but Eren now:

"Who are these keepers of the mystery who have taken some curse upon themselves for the happiness of mankind? .... It's simple lust of power, of filthy earthly gain, of domination—something like a universal serfdom with them as masters—that's all they stand for.”

Mikasa is akin to the Christ figure in the story, akin to Alyosha: Christ is constantly asked to speak, asked to act, and he does not until the very last moment, when he kisses the Grand Inquisitor on the lips. After the story is over, Alyosha then does likewise to Ivan. 

Not to mention when Alyosha worries about Ivan’s mental state, he then answers with this:

“Listen, Alyosha,” Ivan began in a resolute voice, “if I am really able to care for the sticky little leaves I shall only love them, remembering you. It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I shan't lose my desire for life yet.”

A simple leaf can save a life. A leaf can save the world. A leaf, grown from a tree that started as a seed falling to the ground, dead, only to grow life from that death. Alyosha himself notes SnK’s central thesis of chapter 137 in the (very long) novel’s final pages:

...some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one's heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.

There’s a lot more to this, but this is the epigraph to The Brothers Karamazov, the central thesis of the entire novel:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." -John 12:24

Suffering can grow great fruit in an individual life, and by giving something up, by even death, something beautiful can come. Through cruelty, you can find life. 

This is not just a long-running theme in SnK, but a pattern in its plot. Often those who surrender then receive exactly what they had surrendered (but admittedly, not always, like Erwin). 

Mikasa accepted Eren’s loss, and got him back.

Mikasa let Armin go, and got him back.

Falco gave up hope of survival, and got another chance: 

Hange was going to die alone, feeling guilty for having failed her comrades, but saw everyone again, and they told her well done: 

Historia gave up being free, but now we know she will be.

Levi gave up on his revenge, and then got it. Annie thought she would never see her dad again, but she did. For Mikasa, accepting that she has to kill the boy she loves coincides not just with her acceptance of her love, but with the acceptance and knowledge that he loves her:

It always comes with sacrifice, increasingly hard sacrifice, but usually the seeds that are dropped grow and bloom. 

This chapter, everyone surrendered their hearts. They let their dreams fall to the ground, and I honestly think the story will allow it to plant life. Yes, the world as a whole is saved and that is enough to make thematic sense, but it works even better if the very people who were titanized this chapter also bloom again. They chose to trust Mikasa, Levi, Falco, and Pieck to finish the task.

The characters giving up their lives only to get them back make sense, and give Mikasa’s sacrifice of Eren. For Mikasa, Eren was her world, and she gave it up when she had lost everyone else. She had nothing left, and she still did it. I would hope she’d be narratively rewarded beyond just the world being saved, because Mikasa has always been motivated by her personal relationships.

Moving on from Mikasa: Connie’s mom has been kept alive and the concept of turning mindless titans back to humans was already brought up specifically in relation to her:

Connie giving up on his mother a dozenish chapters ago only to get her back now--not through sacrificing a child, but through saving the entire world--would fit the themes and patterns of SnK.

Thirdly, Gabi should not die. She’s Eren with positive development, and cannot meet the same end. Even people who are skeptical of every titan being saved seem to agree that she’ll be fine. It’s possible she’s the only one saved, but imo, not likely. 

See, the only shifter characters who are going to have the option of self-sacrifice are Falco and maaaaaybe Armin. The others look like they’re about to die right here and now, never mind choosing someone to save: the mindless titans are ripping at their napes. Armin also looks to be in bad shape. 

Yet Armin cannot narratively commit suicide; two chapters ago he was still screaming at himself for being useless and thinking he would be better off dead. He’s already tried the heroic sacrifice, too, so why would it work this time around? It does not work for his arc. Falco dying for Gabi was the plan without any freedom from the titan curse; it’s more powerful if ending the curse changes things, rather than forcing him to make the same choice that Reiner has always been trying to make: a heroic suicide. It could happen; it’s just not as narratively strong.

As for whether the worldbuilding rules, we know that mindless titans are not truly dead nor entirely mindless; they just don’t have freedom. Ymir’s case of getting herself back after decades shows that they aren’t quite dead or absorbed. They still have consciousness that can be awoken; Ymir described it as being in a long “nightmare.” Dina still went looking for Grisha. Connie’s mom remembered and recognized Connie, telling him “welcome home.” There is plenty of evidence that there are parts of these people that are still in there even if they are forced to become monsters (oh hey, it’s an Eren parallel; he was conscious of it and had choices while mindless titans do not, but the parallel remains).

[theepisceswriter]

AOT characters (Reiner, Jean, Pieck, Erwin, Zeke) comforting a stressed out/overworked significant other headcanons

TW: Modern AU, suggestive themes (slight nsfw for Jean), vague drug mention (for Pieck, it’s just tweed), GN!reader, mostly fluff 

REINER BRAUN

Reiner knows exactly how it feels to be in your position, overworked and stressed out with the world on your shoulders, not a single positive thing in your mind, and no one seemingly noticed the heavy weight you’ve been carrying all of a sudden.

But he notices and that’s why at the first sign of you being in a sour mood he’s all over you immediately.

Well, not physically just yet. He doesn’t want to be a bother and feel like he’s being too overbearing, adding to the annoyance you must already be feeling from work, but he’s definitely keeping an eye on you from afar to monitor you as often as he can.

He’ll do little things like run some warm bath water for you, send you memes he knows will make you chuckle, bring water & fruit to you to make sure you’re nourished, and order your favorite takeout just to see you smile for once.

And when you’re ready to talk about it he’ll pull you into bed with him and press you against his soft pecks so you can feel comfortable while you lay there telling him what has you so stressed out.

JEAN KIRCHSTEIN

Jean can be a little insensitive to your emotions and just how heavy they weigh on you sometimes, not to mention that he’s always using comedy and his cockiness as a way to distract himself from his own emotions, so after complaining to him how stressed out you’ve been because of work he’ll hit you with the “You want some dick to help you feel better?”

Like yes, you do but some cuddles and words of reassurance would’ve been nice first 😭

It’s like everything you’ve said and been complaining about has went over your head, so of course you’re a little mad and might let something like “You’re such a jerk” slip out of your mouth 😕 it’s after that that he’s like “Okay, maybe I should’ve waited a little later to offer them some dick.”

He’s all over you in an instant; climbing on top of you and peppering your face and whole upper body with kisses, soft ‘m’sorry baby’s leaving his lip with each kiss. After about a minute of him doing that he’ll look up at you like, “I’m sorry for discarding your feelings like that. Can you forgive me? 🥺” pouty lips and all, and how can you possibly stay mad at a face like that!!

Of course, you take him up on his dicked down option soon after that. Playing a pillow princess/prince the whole night, Jean wanting to focus on you the whole night and rid you of any thought that isn’t his head between your legs.

PIECK FINGER

Modern!Pieck’s solution to everything would be a big fat blunt #sorrynotsorry. You don’t even have to be stressed out or overworked for her to come up to you and be like “You look like you need a blunt.” I live for stoner!Pieck.

You just being in her presence is enough to make you feel about your stress. She’s so carefree and relaxed 24/7 that it’s like she’s a natural relaxant for you and because of that she never has to worry about you too much whenever you’re in her presence.

Everything is all good when you’re around her. Nothing else matters but the blunt you’re going to smoke with her and the food you’re going to get afterwards because boy can Pieck out eat munchies. She’s such a sweetheart though, she’ll turn on some funny stoner movie to distract while she slips out the house to go get all of your favorite foods.

She’ll come back in the house with a bag from McDonald’s, tacos, a bag from Taco Bell, some drinks and treats from Starbucks, etc. Standing in front of you in the livingroom like “I also got you an ice cream but it looked too good while I was driving home so I accidentally ate it.” 🙈

The weed alone helped take your mind away from stress, so this just has you blushing and loving on your stoned girlfriend for the whole night. Grateful to have someone as sweet as her in your life.

ERWIN SMITH

Erwin knows that look of tiredness and exhaustion that plagues you every time you come in from work all too well. He’s been the victim of the negative side effects of nearly overworking himself to death to not notice them on you immediately. And he’s not going to let you succumb to them like he has on multiple occasions.

Like Reiner, he’s on you immediately but a lot more vocal and physical to voice his opinion on you overworking yourself. He flat out tells you one night “You need to take a break from all this work. It’s not doing you any good.” While forcibly removing you from your workstation by carrying you bridal style.

He ignores your pleas of wanting to be carried back to your desk and how “you’re doing just fine!” And lays you in your shared bed. Within minutes you’re sleeping like a newborn baby cuddled up into the covers and pillows, not stubborn enough to fight off how tired you truly were.

But that’s not enough for him, just one 2-hour nap isn’t enough for your body and mental health to recover, so every time he catches you working longer than needed he’s forcing you to put that pen and paper down and relax for once. Of course you’re stubborn and still try to work, what what does he do?

He contacts your job and requests some time off for you so you won’t have any excuses to be working for a good week or two. In this time he prepares things for the two of you to do together and spend some quality time with each other like actual date nights out, warm baths together, a vacation to a nice resort, and even a high end quality spa day to truly help you relax.

ZEKE JAEGER

I know we like to label Zeke Jaeger as a pretentious meanie, I know bully!Zeke really gets us all going.......but softie Zeke deserves some content too 🙈

Though he’s not too good at expressing his concern for others and has the littlest of ideas on how to reassure others ( *cough* thanks a lot Grisha *cough*) he would genuinely try with you!

After noticing a slight change in your demeanor and your excuses always being work related whenever he brought these observations up, it’s after his first time seeing you in a while with bags under your eyes that he’ll feel an obligation in his heart to make them, along with the stress you’re feeling, go away.

He’s very gentle and slow with his prodding. He’ll check up on you throughout the day through texts like “Hey, what are you up to right now?”, “You should probably take a break right now and go drink or eat something if you’ve been working for more than an hour” with some article that helps support his words, or and “Are you feeling alright? I’m free if you want some company.”

And you do want his company! You feel so bad for pushing your hairy bearded boyfriend away, so you finally invite him over and spill everything while he holds you in the middle of watching some shitty comedy on Netflix. He’ll tell you right off the bat that he’s not the best person to come to for reassurance and comfort, but him just trying is enough to make you feel better.

[itstimetotheorize]

little nightmares 2, would the world have been saved if the Black Tower fell?

A couple of weeks after the games release, David Mevrik, the lead narrative designer, sat down in an interview and answered some much needed questions about the little nightmares 2 game. Naturally, in an effort to maintain the mystery of the world, David proceeds to take every question that is thrown at him and gives a bizarre and cryptic answer in return. The only thing that he does confirm directly is the fact that little nightmares 2 take place before little nightmares 1, meaning that little nightmares 2 IS a prequel!

(link to interview)

https://www.gamingbible.co.uk/features/games-little-nightmares-2-ending-explained-writer-confirms-prequel-20210311

Although this one answer helped fans alleviate some major confusion, it still does not give us the answers needed to determine what exactly is going on in the little nightmares world. As the interview ends, David leaves us with his cryptic answers knowing fully well that we will do everything we can to try and decipher them in order to theorize for ourselves what is actually happening in this world of little nightmares. Now, out of al the things he was asked, one question in particular had constantly left my mind wondering and asking, “what did he mean by that?”

The question I am referring to is,  “ Who built the Signal Tower, and what was the inspiration behind it (both in terms of in-game lore and your IRL inspirations)?”

to which David replies, “The world of Little Nightmares doesn't work that way, creatures and places exist for a reason. In the first game, The Maw exists because the hunger exists, and here, The Signal Tower exists because the need for escapism exists. Sure, in the game it beams out The Transmission to everyone's TVs, but it would be trite and wrong to say that it's only about the ubiquity of screens. It's inspired by this idea of the spectacle; this thing that delights you in order to destroy you, that corrupts the way you see the world and blinds you to the true monsters. We have centuries of inspiration for something so foul, you just need a good pair of sunglasses.”

Out of all the details that can be taken from his cryptic answer, there was always one piece that had constantly stood out to me, “ The Maw exists because the hunger exists, and here, The Signal Tower exists because the need for escapism exists. Sure, in the game it beams out The Transmission to everyone's TVs, but it would be trite and wrong to say that it's only about the ubiquity of screens”

Out of all the words displayed within these sentences, David specifically chose “Trite” and “Ubiquity” in his response. Before, many of use were certain that we understood exactly what he meant, but did we really? when you look up the definition of these two words you would come to find that they mean so much more:

Trite- overused and consequently of little import; lacking originality or freshness.

Ubiquity- the fact of appearing everywhere or of being very common.

what does this mean exactly? it means that David might have been trying to tell us that just because the tower sends out its transmission to the world, it would be boring and unoriginal to believe that the world is the way it is just because there are a ton of tvs  broadcasting a single transmission. So then, if it truly isnt just about the tower and the tvs then what else could there be...or rather...what else is happening in the world that we don't yet know about?...what even is this world?!...perhaps... we have already been given that answer.

In the school, when mono is trying to solve the chess puzzle, there is something within the room that many of us, at the time, had overlooked and taken for granted. This particular item was something so common that we didn't even think about just how important it truly was within the little nightmares games and its world!, what exactly is this item that I am referring to?...its a region map...of the little nightmares world!

for those who do not know, world maps are often divided up into smaller pieces  to better organize them. The map seen within the school, reveals to us, a piece of the worlds geography! 

For the longest time, many of us had wondered what else was beyond the maw, sure we have seen the nest and the pale city, but this map is the first solid piece of evidence we have come across that tells us just how large the world of little nightmares is. What’s even more interesting is that this map, does not have the signal tower or the thin man drawn over it to symbolize their control/influence over the world!, what does it have drawn over every inch of it?... the all seeing eye!

For years we had suspected that an entity of higher power was present in the little nightmares games and for the longest time many of us had believed that the eyes, which were referenced all over the world, were a hint towards that higher entity. In another interview question, David is even asked, “A lot of fans believe that someone, some unseen threat, has been pulling the strings in the world Little Nightmares. Is this the case... and might we meet them one day?”

To which David replies, “That depends if I'm ever allowed to go out in public again.”

When David answers the question, he talks as if he were in a position where he lacks the free will to make his own simple choices, that he needs the permission of another presence that’s currently watching over him... just who or what is this other presence? well... isn't it obvious...its the eyes! 

Near the end of little nightmares 2, after mono frees six from her monstrous form, fans finally get the chance to meet the entity responsible for all the suffering faced by not just mono and six, but the entire world! As the tower begins to crumble, it reveals to us its true form, a gigantic fleshy mass comprised of giant eyes!

Whats even more surprising is that this giant eye entity may not just be located in the black tower. In Little nightmares 1, as well as the LN1 DLC, we see pictures of a similar eye within a structure/building!. 

However unlike the eye entity within the black tower, the eye seen in portraits on the maw appears to be located within some sort of light house...which ironically enough, if you look up the concept art of the maw, you would come to find that the maw had a lighthouse located atop the small island it carries! 

And I know what you are thinking, “but wait this is concept art, it didn't even make it into the final game”, yes, but the fact that this specific art is still seen REPEATEDLY throughout the maw in little nightmares 1 as well as the DLC, could possibly hint that this eye bearing lighthouse might still exist,  somewhere within the maw! What does this mean exactly? it means that even the maw, a large cruise ship that travels all throughout the oceans of the world, bears within it a large entity similar to the eye entity within the black tower of the pale city! What’s even more insane is that these two very distinct eyes, from two very distinct places, could very well be just two small pieces of a much larger mass watching over the entire world as it feeds upon its residents in one way or another! To be fair, we still dont know what exactly this thing is, let alone how it came to be in the world, but what we do know is that the residents of the world are obsessed with it!

David has always said that the maw exists because hunger exists and that the tower exists because escapism exists, but if each place existed from one corrupt human desire then I wonder... are there other structures like them in the world?, and do these other structures revolve around an entirely different existing human need that has been corrupted by the eye entities hypnotic light/spell ?...maybe...

Then again...this does beg the question... If the maw sank and if the tower was left to fall, would we have truly ended the nightmarish world that mono and six resided in or would we have simply ended two very small parts of a much larger nightmare occurring in the world? If the eye is truly responsible for all the suffering seen throughout the childrens lives, then what would the children of this world even do to fight the nightmare that they are trapped in ? would they continue to run and hide, hoping that it is enough to help them survive until adult hood?.... or would they need to accept the reality of this world... take the power that’s there...learn to make it their own and become themselves... little nightmares...

  honestly... whos to say.. should these children choose to make these heart wrenching decisions, would they still be viewed by the all seeing eye as victims?... or would they be seen as threats that need to be stopped before they have the chance to cripple the power it has used to feed upon the world it has latched itself onto....... I guess we will just have to wait and see... but hey, that’s just a theory, a little nightmares theory!

[sitaarein]

None Stand Equal In This Dark World

A/N: Officially my largest ever fic so please. Just read it and be nice sob because I’m kinda proud of some of it

Written for @grishaversebigbang 2021!!!

Corporalki: @homicide-depot​

Materialki: @generalnabri (x), @kolarpem (x), @aivicart (x), @maximumbluebirdpatrol , @niadrawing (x)

 (Summary: A murder mystery AU featuring Zoyalai, twists and turns, moral dilemma, and then some more

Read on AO3

Chapter One

The apartment door was wide open.

 In retrospect, that alone should have set off the alarm bells in Zoya’s head. No one left the door to their place wide open. She can’t imagine why she simply dismissed it. 

 Scratch that, she knew why. She’d been tracking this idiotic Grisha for a month now. She was tired and desperate. 

 But it appeared that- who would’ve thought- not being at the top of your game has consequences. 

 Consequences like staring down a man who’s been tied to a chair and gagged in the middle of, what Zoya guesses is, the lounge, eyes wide with terror.

 Zoya is mad at herself for not managing to guess it was a red herring- the damn door - and very, very mad at the Grisha who has, once again, slipped right through her hands. 

 She nods to one of her men, and he immediately drops to the man’s level to untie and presumably interrogate him. Zoya doesn’t stick around for the details- she trusts her people to give her good reports. Instead, after a cursory look around, she tips her head back to face the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, and leaves the apartment. 

 The weather outside took a dramatic turn in the fifteen minutes she was inside- it had been sunny before, or at least as sunny as Ravka ever could get. But now, the sun has all but ceased to exist, and the bitter cold is back once more. 

 Zoya prefers the cold. 

 (She doesn’t, not really, but no one needed to know that.)

 Zoya starts walking, pulling her coat tighter around herself. Her mind races, trying to connect all the dots, trying to figure out where her investigation had gone wrong. Start from the beginning. Don’t miss anything. The most minor of details are the most important.

  The beginning. A woman showed up to their headquarters about her missing family. Those cases were usually dismissed completely, handed over to the police forces- Zoya’s force was Grisha-centric, other cases, no matter how large or important they were, did not concern them. But this case was different.

 The woman was Grisha. 

 Her family weren’t, evidently- and neither did they know that she was. They’d been missing for six weeks, and the odds were pretty heavily stacked against them still being alive. The woman was detained (she was Grisha, this was Zoya’s job ) and a group of officers were dispatched for a search and rescue.

 The officers never returned.

 Alarm bells were now ringing, and the General assigned Zoya to the case. In the time since she officially took over, twenty more disappearances were documented, and all of them in Os Kerva alone. Saints knew what was happening in the rest of the country.

 But Zoya had never believed in Saints, so she found out what was happening in the rest of the country.

 The total number of disappearances in all of Ravka that had this case’s signature mark- an eclipsed sun left wherever the victims were seen last- was an estimated three thousand . Zoya couldn’t believe no one had connected the dots before her. Then again, the entire of the force were filled with incompetent idiots, so maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her. 

  The series of events . Zoya travelled up and down the country with the best of her underlings, talking to anyone who knew the victims, searching their last known places with tooth combs, building up working hypotheses, using all the resources they had available. Zoya was not an idiot. She knew exactly how capable she was. 

 And she also knew when she was fighting a losing battle.

 And so, when she got a call from one of her top detectives about a confirmed Grisha she’d been trailing for some time now who’d begun suspicious activity, she was clutching at straws and willing to take anything that came her way. She met up with her agent, and a few days later, they got the address of the apartment she was currently pacing in front of.

  The present . This part could be summed up fairly quickly. Zoya is, once again, at a fucking dead end . 

 Before she can kick something (or someone) out of frustration, A faint ringing reaches her ears, and frowning, Zoya stops in her tracks. Her phone is never not on silent. Calling Zoya Nazyalensky for anything was utterly pointless- she never picked up. 

  But the GIA has ways of getting into contact with its members regardless.

 Muttering a curse, Zoya digs around her pockets, looking for the infernal device with its grating, high-toned ringing. Finally locating her phone, she jabs the answer button without looking at the caller ID.

 “Yes?” she asks bluntly. 

 “Zoya,” Alina’s voice greets her.  

 Zoya immediately forgets everything that had been on her mind. When Alina calls, it’s rarely for a friendly chat. 

 “What’s wrong?”

“You need to get back here. As soon as possible.”

 “Understood. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 Alina hangs up immediately, and Zoya pockets her phone, mind racing.

 She orders one of her lackeys to send her a report when they're done, grabs the keys for the van they’d used to get to the apartment from a rather distracted officer, taking off.

 Zoya reaches the Grisha Investigation Authorities in approximately half the time she’d given to Alina, and she may or may not have disobeyed quite a few traffic laws to get to her destination as quickly as she did, but that was frankly unimportant. 

 She strides through the doors, not bothering to acknowledge the many who’ve halted their paths to nod to her or, in the case of a few particularly stupid (or courageous, however you wanted to see it) people, attempt to strike up a conversation with her. She didn’t break her pace even once, until she’d reached the door to the meeting room they usually used to meet up for serious issues. After taking a moment to compose herself, Zoya pushes the door open.

 Inside, she finds all of her fellow Commanding Officers assembled- Adrik, Leoni, Alina, and Genya. Frowning, Zoya scans their faces, and mentally shifts whatever’s happening even higher on her scale of terrible shit to take care of immediately.

 Because not even Leoni, who can find positivity at a funeral, is smiling right now. There’s barely a hint of her optimistic and eternally cheerful personality in her countenance. 

 Zoya carefully takes the seat left for her around the circular table. Her gaze flits from one worried face to another, and she decides to be direct.

 “How bad is it?”

 The question seems to jolt Alina out of her reverie. She looks up, and Zoya feels her breath catch, because she looks so… helpless. Terrified.

 Genya takes it upon herself to answer Zoya’s question with another question, her mouth set in a grim line. “How’s your investigation going?”

 “We lost the suspect,” Zoya admits, her earlier frustration returning with the reminder of the infernal case. “We’re right back to where we started- but without the hope and the general idea of where to start.”

 “I’m not surprised,” Adrik mutters. “Considering who your delightful suspect is…”

 Zoya furrows her brow, and glances back at Genya. “Explain.”

 Genya looks as if she would rather do anything else, but after coming to the realisation that no one else is about to, she sighs and does so.

 “I’m presuming you remember Alina’s case that went cold about two years back?”

  A little too well. Even years later, that case haunts her- the truly horrific killings, from corpses with their body parts stuffed down their throats, to children who had clearly been still alive when burnt, the utter dead ends, Alina’s far too close brush with death, and… the person behind it all.

 “You don’t think it’s the same person??” Zoya demands, horror spreading through her veins.  She can not handle another Kirigan. 

 In lieu of replying, Genya nods to Leoni, who pushes forward a large envelope. Dread pooling in her gut, Zoya opens the package to find pictures from Alina’s investigation.

 “We revisited these when your disappearances started,” Genya says. “And… found more similarities than we’re frankly comfortable with.” 

 Zoya shifts the photos around, and then freezes at one, having caught sight of a mostly blurry but still distinctive calling card. “That’s…”

 “The eclipsed sun,” Adrik provides grimly. “You’re screwed.”

 “Hey, now,” Leoni protests. “We don’t know that.”

 Adrik snorts. “Don’t we? Need I remind you of the damage this person wrecked to the GIA and our country?”

 “How do we know this isn’t just a copycat?” Zoya breaks in. “None of the bodies of the victims this time around have been discovered,”

 “Copy cats still tend to have their own twists on kills, a signature, a mark that’s theirs. While none of the killings for either case have many similarities, they also don’t vary in terms of said signature.” Genya says.

 “Killers are proud creatures,” Adrik inputs.

 “And this one’s no exception,” Leoni says, eyes grim. 

 Zoya looks up. “What do you know?”

 Leoni hesitates, but then gives in. “We got a note this morning. A photocopy should be in the envelope too.”

 Zoya overturns the envelope, and sure enough, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up, reads it, and crumples it up. 

 “You’re sure this isn’t a stupid joke?”

 “It was in the Director’s office.” Leoni says. 

  Shit.  Zoya glances back down at the crumpled mass she’s still clutching. You will burn on your mistakes. What mistakes? 

 She ignores the faint voice in the back of her head. You know what mistakes.

 Zoya takes a deep breath, focuses her thoughts, and then exhales. “How’s the Director doing?”

“He’s terrified.” All of the COs seemed to be equally startled to see Alina was the one to speak. Her mouth is set in an angry line, and Zoya can guess the track of her thoughts, because they were the same ones that had crossed her mind upon hearing the words- who is he to be terrified? What right did the Director even have to feel scared, when he himself never so much as interacted with the cases???

 Adrik sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Which is what has led us to our current predicament.”

 “And what do you mean by that?” 

 Genya exhales in a huff. “He wants the Mentals on this case along with all of us.”

 “He what.” 

 Alina, lips twisted in a sardonic smile, gestures to nothing in particular. “You heard correctly.”

 “Why ??? This is my case, and I will handle it.”

 “He doesn’t want a repeat of the bad press that came with my failing last time, I’m guessing.”

 “Bad press,” Zoya spits out. “I wonder how much bad press he’ll get when I-”

 “Do not,” Genya warns. “This could be helpful to us.”

  But also a personal disgrace , Zoya finishes the sentence in her head. The Mentals were practically a legend of the GIA- they were special, elite investigators, a whole mix of people ranging from scientists to- if the rumors were correct- ex-spies, who ended up with the cases no one else in the force could solve, and somehow, without fail, solved each of them within a week at the least. 

 It was irritating as hell.

 And having them assigned on your case meant that the Director did not trust you to be successful on your own. 

 Absolutely wonderful.

 “So when are these... spectacular detectives arriving?” Zoya asks. 

 Genya opens her mouth, and then closes it, before starting, “Well-”

 “I hope I’m not too late to this marvelous party?”

 Zoya swivels to see who this truly abnormally cheerful person is, and then blinks. She turns back to face the others once more- Adrik still looks glum, Leoni is smiling her most polite smile, Alina seems to have perked up and Genya is genuinely smiling. They all look… unsurprised.

 Of course they were hiding more secrets up their sleeves.

 “ What,” Zoya finally breaks and asks. “Is the damned PR guy doing here?”

 The aforementioned PR guy pouts. “Is that really what I’m known for around here? My PR duties? That’s quite depressing. Why would you focus on that when you could talk about my stunning good looks, or my undeniable charm, or even my ability to-”

 “Nikolai,” Alina interrupts. “Shut up.” she looks at Zoya, a hint of dry amusement in her eyes. 

 “Zoya, this is Nikolai Lantsov, and he is indeed our PR guy, but he’s also… head of the Mentals.”

 Zoya blinks. He’s what??? And then, wait… they knew who the special investigators were? How long have they known? Why was I not informed?

 She doesn’t voice any of her thoughts, choosing instead to stare, unimpressed, at the blond, who grins at her in response. 

 “If I had known you possessed such astounding grace and beauty, Miss Nazyalensky, I would have made your acquaintance sooner! I’m sure these upcoming days will prove to be an absolute pleasure, provided I get to spend them in your delightful company.”

 “Saints save me,” Zoya utters faintly. “The Director assigned an idiot to my case.”

 “Hey, now!” Nikolai protests. “You haven’t even met the rest of my team yet!”

 “An idiot who talks too much,” she deplores. 

 Genya and Alina both snort at that. In fact, all of her fellow COs seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in this situation. Zoya hates all of them. 

  “Well, now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way,” Nikolai says, to which Zoya distinctly hears Adrik mutter “pleasantries?” under his breath, “I think now would be a wonderful time for me to introduce you to my brilliant team,”

  Genya sits up immediately, looking eager. Zoya wonders what that’s about. 

 She finds out fairly quickly.

 Nikolai ushers in a group of people, and she recognises one in particular, one who she has, in fact, known since her college years -

 David. Genya’s husband, David Kostyk, is a part of the Mentals. Harmless old David. Zoya can’t believe her eyes. 

 She scans the rest of the group, but the others barely seem familiar. The two Shu right in front of David look similar enough to be twins, apart from the height difference. Right next to David is a woman that, with a jolt, Zoya recognises as Adrik’s sister from what she’s heard and seen of her. Bringing up the rear is a man who vaguely resemblesNikolai himself, ducking his head shyly as he enters the room. 

 “Now that your merry party is all assembled,” Adrik says glumly. “Any ideas where to start?”

 “Shouldn’t we at least get to know each other first?” Adrik’s sister asks.

 Adrik stares at her. “I’ve known you since I was born.”

 “We’re not the only ones in the room, Adrik.”

 “Oh, aren’t we ? I can’t say I noticed.”

 Nikolai interrupts their glaring match to finally provide Zoya with names to all the unfamiliar faces. 

 “Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, and Isaak, meet the officers we’ll be working with for the next few weeks or longer- Alina, Genya, Zoya, Leoni, and Adrik,” he gestures towards each person in turn. Zoya briefly wonders how he already knows their names, before realising that just because the GIA didn’t know who the special investigators were didn’t exactly mean they didn’t know the GIA either. 

 “And now,” Nikolai beams. “Let’s get comfortable. It’s time to discuss our present conundrum!”

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Prey for You | Part 4

Genre: Smut, angst, and some fluff this time

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary:  It has come to this. After your landlord kicks you out, you’re at Chan’s mercy. Turns out, he might not be as bad as you thought he was.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, switch!reader, switch!chan, wolf!hybrid chan, fox!hybrid reader, thigh riding, really unheathly dynamics

A/N: this part is like the opposite of a tootsie roll soft on the outside hard on the inside

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 Part 5, Part 6

“This is just for a short while.” You say, swallowing the bile that has risen up in your throat as you look at the smug wolf sitting in front of you on his couch.

“Sure.” He shrugs nonchalant, but the cocky arch of his brow says otherwise and you have to squash down your pride with everything you’ve got not to jump on him. Like it or not, you’re at his mercy now that your landlord has officially evicted you. Without his gracious help, you’d now be on the streets. “I’ll find another place as soon as I can.”

“You can take all the time you need.” He opens his arms wide, going for a welcoming vibe but the stupid grin on his face counteracts it.

“No. I’ll be out of here soon.” You deadpan, not wanting to owe him more than you already do. God knows he’ll hold his over your head forever.  "And I don't feel comfortable living here for free so from now on until I leave, I'll be taking care of things around the house."

“Oh, how domestic.” He chirps sweetly.

"More like a live-in maid." You mutter under your breath but he easily hears it, the stupid grin finally dropping from his face as he sits forward and looks at you sincerely. "Don't say that. I meant what I said. You’re here as a friend."

"Yeah, sure." You snort. “You’re basically high from gloating.”

A smile tickles his lips again as he leans back. “I always enjoy the chance to one-up you, but that doesn’t mean I’m lying.”

“Wow, you really are a saint.” You jeer, grabbing your bag and heading towards the room that is to be yours.  

_________________

To your great surprise, living with Chan was actually kind of nice. Aside from the obvious perk of living in such a comfortable, beautiful house that had everything you could ever need. Chan himself was proving himself to be a quiet congenial roommate. Most importantly, he left you the hell alone for the most part, staying cooped up in his studio the majority of the day so that you barely even saw him. And despite your agreement that you’d take care of things around the house, he still did most of his things himself, picking up after himself and washing his clothes before you got the chance to. He fed himself too as indicated by the boxes of takeout from every possible fast food place filling out the trash. So you were barely wasting any time on taking care of the house, and spending most of your days following up on your studies like you so sorely needed. 

All in all, this whole arrangement was working out positively in your favor. Too positively, that you have to wonder what he was getting out of this. He can’t possibly really be doing this out of the goodness of his heart, especially since no one is even aware of this kind deed for him to gain any morality points off of it. He hasn’t even made a move on you for the whole three weeks you’d been here, seeming content to just coexist with you that you were starting to feel like you were taking advantage of him somehow. Even though this whole thing was his idea. 

Maybe that, your momentary self-doubt, is what prompted you to do what you did next. 

“Hmm, something smells nice.” Chan remarks, walking into the kitchen where you were making yourself some food. He stands behind you to take a look at what you were cooking, and you feel your heart skipping a beat at the now familiar scent of him filling your nostrils and his body being so close to you. And when he speaks, his voice deep and calm next to your ear, it makes your skin tingle. “Looks tasty too.” 

And like a teenager who had the great fortune of being noticed by the popular jock, you twist your head around to look at him, dewy-eyed as the words stumble out of your mouth before you can think them over. “Would you like to have dinner with me today?”

He pauses, looking at you curiously and you turn back to the food and continue nervously, “I mean, that junk food you eat everyday can’t be good for you.” 

“Aw, are you worried about me?” He asks cheekily, and your shoulders tense. “Never mind.” 

“No, no, I’ll have dinner with you.” He rushes to say, plopping down on a seat resolutely. “No take backsies.”

“Idiot.” You mutter, finding yourself wearing an involuntary smile because of him once again.

__________________________________ 

You’re not the best cook, you’ll be the first to admit it, but Chan praises your food like you are a world class chef. 

“Fuck off, Chan. It’s not that good.” You protest awkwardly, not really used to being complimented. But he insists, mouth full of food, “It is! It’s sublime.” 

You look down at your food to avoid eye contact with him and put on your best snooty voice. “Poor thing. Your habit of eating exclusively junk food must’ve ruined your palate to the point where you think my cooking is anything but decent.” 

“You sell yourself short. These hands--” He suddenly grabs your hands suddenly, startling you as he kisses them. “They’re magic.” 

You yank them back to your lap, flustered, the adrenaline pushing your poor fluttering heart into overdrive and making you panic. You quickly grab your fork and shove some food into your mouth trying to distract yourself from the conflicting emotions clashing in your chest, and regretting it almost immediately as your nausea swells up. 

“Is that how you woo prey?” You snark, taking a big gulp of your wine to wash down the piece of food you barely chewed. “Blatantly lie to them about their cooking skills?” 

The atmosphere fully changes as Chan drops his cheery attitude.  “Can we not talk about… that? It’s just you and me here. We don’t have to let the outside world in, do we?”

You still, your sense of danger rising up exponentially at his suggestion, and once again you find yourself wondering why he was doing this. What was his endgame here? Was he just messing with you? He puts on an honorable performance but you’ve seen him slip before. It must get tiring for him. Maybe he wants to see you hurt; it’s in his nature and he’s been repressing it for so long. You’d be the perfect victim too. No one even knows you’re here, and even if they did, they’d never believe your word over his. 

Or he could be genuine. Maybe he’s as nice as he tries to be. But that just scares you more, because how do you deal with that? You’ve never had a relationship with someone that was open and trusting. You’ve always hid behind your games. They kept you safe. No one has ever truly hurt you because you’ve never allowed someone to get close enough. But if you trust Chan, if you let him in and he betrays you… you don’t know how you’d even recover from that. 

You want to believe though. Everyone always says how much of a good person he is, how loyal, how selfless, how supportive. They can’t all be blind, right? And you’ve seen it too, in the way he always strived to protect his friends from you. He wanted the best for them. Maybe he could want the best for you too.

“Okay.” You answer in a small voice, heart pounding. 

His answering smile is bright and big, but it does nothing to assuage your fears so you settle for taking another sip of your wine. That’s what it’s made for, right?

“So, what do you actually do? I never asked.” Chan makes conversation as he gets back to his food.

You clear your throat. “I’m a waitress.” 

“Oh, and… um, is that what you want to be doing?” He asks unsurely. 

You roll your eyes at him, feeling a little at ease at his naivety. “No. Nobody wants to work in the service industry. It’s basically slavery and all your costumers are either rude or crazy. I hate it.” 

He pauses, looking like he’s thinking very hard for a moment, before he asks, perplexed. “So why do you do it?”

“To eat?” 

“Oh. Right. Of course.” His ears turn red and it’s his turn to take a big gulp of his drink. “I’m, uh, apparently an idiot. Yes, people work to afford living. Of course.” 

“I guess you’ve never had to think about that.” You note, surprised that you don’t feel any bitterness as you say it. 

“No.” He stares at the food on his plate. “I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah but--”

“But I don’t have money so you feel sorry having money in front of me?” You grin, tone light, and he smiles back, face flushed as he obviously chastises himself in his head. 

“So…” He starts again, and it’s a little endearing how nervous he is. “What do you really wanna do?” 

You regard him for a second, wondering if you should really cross that line and let him in. Well, here goes nothing. 

“I’m studying to be a doctor.” 

His jaw drops to the floor. “You?”

“Yeah, shocking right?” You quip, taking another sip from your glass.

“I mean, yeah.” You would take offense at his words if it weren’t for the--you begrudgingly admit--endearing confused frown on his face. “Isn’t that a traditionally prey profession? Don’t you get, like, weird looks or something?”

“Yeah.” You snort, feeling the bitterness rise to the surface. “I get more than just weird looks. People feel the need to tell me every moment of every day how I’ll never be a good doctor. How no one will trust a fox with their life. How I should just quit and get into business or law or whatever other profession that can use my no-doubt nefarious skills.”

“That sucks.” He says then immediately cringes at his lame comment.

“Yeah, no shit. And guess who says it the most? Prey hybrids.” 

A light bulb suddenly clicks above his head. “Is that why you dislike them? They’re really not all like that--”

You interrupt him sharply, already knowing where he was going with this. “They’re not like that to you because you’re powerful and rich and you could do whatever you want, but they’re ruthless to me. They’ve always been. So yeah excuse me if I don’t care too much for your prey apologism. It’s pretty infuriating actually.”

“I really think you should--”

“What about you?” You ask pointedly, clearly wanting to change the subject. “I mean, I know that you’re a producer. I suppose this is what you’ve always wanted to be doing.” 

“Ah, yes.” He coughs, straightening in his seat as he reels back from the change of topic. “I’ve loved it since I was an angsty teen listening to hip hop and pretending like I’m so cool and gangsta.” 

The thought of little rich boy Chan swearing it up and down and acting like a thug brings an involuntary and sincere laugh out of you. It doesn’t bother Chan though. If anything, he looks content to have made you laugh. 

“Did you…” He begins after your laughter dies down, fiddling with the stem of his glass as he looks at you from under his lashes, “Have you ever listened to any of my tracks?”

“No.” You scoff, the word coming out automatically. I mean, why would you? It’s not like you like the guy. 

His face falls at your flippant answer. “Ah. Of course.” He says flatly, bringing his glass to his mouth. 

You feel a pang of guilt in your chest. Logically, you know you have no reason to feel bad. You two were never on the best of terms and you have no obligation to listen to his songs. And yet, as you look at his crestfallen face, the guilt still eats at you. 

“How about you show me some after dinner?” You find yourself suggesting and his face immediately brightens up. “Yeah! I mean… you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He interjects quickly, even though he clearly wants you to. 

“I want to.” You say firmly, and he smiles. ___________________________________

“I’m a nice guy who just has a lot of money?” You wheeze, cracking up and face flushed from the intoxication. You were somehow on Chan’s lap as the night progressed from him showing you his proudest works to his most regrettable ones.

“I know. I know. What was I thinking, right?” He laughs along with you despite his obvious embarrassment. 

You lean in close to his face, humming, "I think it's endearing." You kiss him. 

"You just like embarrassing me." He protests weakly, mouth opening against your lips. 

“Guilty.” You pull away to take his shirt off. Caressing his exposed muscles, you grin, “Hmm...yummy.” 

He bursts out laughing, “You like it?”

You shrug, “It’s not what I usually go for but I can get used to it.” 

He scoffs at that, and pulls your own shirt over your head. Tugging your bra over your breasts, he cups them in his hands and murmurs against your skin, “Well, I don’t need to get used to these.” before his mouth latches onto them. He sucks marks onto the sensitive flesh while his hands grope and knead your breasts. 

Looking up at you, he pushes your breasts together and laps his tongue over the nipples. Your arousal spikes as your gaze locks with his challenging one, and you start rocking yourself over his thigh. 

"Fuck that's hot." He mumbles, lightly tugging on your nipple with his teeth as he pulls away, making you moan out and your hips swivel down to push your core harder against his thigh. 

"Wait, wait," He pulls you to your feet, and you whine, protesting the loss. 

“Hush, baby girl.” He soothes, yanking your pants down your legs along with your underwear before he slips his hand between your legs to drag a finger up your slit, hissing when he feels your wetness. "That's what I want." He groans, pulling you back down on his thigh and using his grip on your hips to make you move over his thigh again. "Want you to ruin my pants with your cum, baby girl. Show me how much you need me."

"But I don't need you." You retort, though your hips don’t slow down. 

“Are you sure about that, my little fox?” He flexes his thigh under you, pushing it up more against your core. 

“Uh-huh.” You breathe, squeezing your eyes shut and throwing your head back. He takes the opportunity to get back to sucking on your breasts, which only makes your movements more frantic. 

“Come on, baby, tell me how good I am and I’ll help you.” He gasps between kisses. You tug on his hair, almost bouncing on his thigh now. “Why don’t you beg for it, pup?”

“Unbelievable.” He growls, pulling your head down. “You’re still so prideful even as you hump my leg like bitch.” 

Whatever stinging remark you would’ve hurled at him is muffled against his lips as he pulls you into a hungry kiss. You let him push his tongue into your mouth, taking him in and caressing it with your own before you put your hands to his chest and push him back. 

“You really want it? Want me to say how good you are for me? How wet you make me?"

He nods eagerly. 

“What a sweet pup.” You praise, “Striving so hard to please me. You’re doing so well, baby. You’ll make me cum real soon.” 

“Do it, please. I wanna see what you look like cumming up close.” 

“Keep tensing your leg like that and you’ll have me cumming in no time, puppy.” You bite your lip, small but needy moans flowing out of you. “What a good boy you are, so good.” 

“Please,” He whispers, his hands helping you move faster on his thigh. “Please, please.”

“So close---ah---oh god, so close...baby!” You gasp, grabbing onto him tightly as you finally cum, the orgasm surprisingly potent. He beams up at you, soaking up every little moan and shudder you let out. “So pretty.”

Gradually, your panting breaths turn into airy giggles as you get down from your high. You give his lips a peck before your hands fall between you and starts pulling his dick out from his sweatpants. You grin against his lips, feeling giddy. "I can’t believe I’m gonna let you fuck me in your studio. How cliche.”

His answering chuckles are punctuated with little moans as you glide your hand up and down his hard dick. “If it--ahh-- makes you feel any better, t-this is the--ahh, yeah like that, baby-- the first time I fuck anyone here.” 

You giggles increase in pitch, “You’re so full of shit, Chan.”

“I’m serious.” He whines, leaning up into your touch as you swipe your palm over the leaking head of his cock. “This is kind of a... sacred place for me."

“Yeah, right.” You roll your eyes, “It can’t be that special if you’re here with me now.”

“It is.” He insists with a pout, and continues casually as if it was nothing, “Because you’re special.” 

Your hand stills on his cock, your face turning to stone as you try and make sense of what he just said.  He's messing with you. He has to be.

Fear and uncertainty makes your stomach churn and your skin loses all color, your face getting cold and sweaty as the bile rises up in your throat. You thought you could handle this but you can’t. You’re too much of a coward to risk it and your sense of self-preservation rears its deformed head once again. 

Standing up abruptly, you croak through your suddenly dry mouth,  "I think I’m gonna go. I need to lie down" 

Chan gets up too, not letting you go. "Oh, is everything okay? Are you sick?". 

"I’m fine. I’m just..." You explain weakly, wriggling yourself out of his grip as quickly as you can in your intoxicated state. "I gotta go."

“Hey, wait!” Chan calls after you, but doesn’t try to stop you. You hear him curse out just before you get out of earshot.

____________________

You wake up with a huge headache and an even bigger feeling of dread. The events of last night coming back like a bullet shot through your chest, and you’re even more confused now with the hangover shattering any hope of a coherent thought forming in your head. 

You stumble out of bed and head to the door, resolving to get some water and some painkiller so you’d maybe start to feel like your head wasn’t likely to explode at any moment. But as you slide the door open, you hear bickering voices just outside in the living room.

"Chan, what the hell are you doing man?" You hear a familiar voice ask but your brain is too scattered to pinpoint the owner of it right now. Luckily, you don’t need to as Chan speaks up in reply, "It's fine, Jisung. It’s all under control."

"No, it's not. Isn’t that what you used to tell me? That no matter how much she makes it seem like she cares, she could flip the table on me at any moment and that I shouldn’t trust her. That’s what you said!”

You quickly pick up that they’re talking about you despite how much you don’t want to believe it. But that’s the kind of language that has always been directed at you, there is no mistaking it. Yet, against all reason, you hope it’s not true. Or at least, you hope Chan would deny it. 

He doesn’t, of course. They never do.

“I know what I said!” 

“And? Do you trust her now?” Jisung asks incredulously. 

“Of course not.” Chan vehemently denies, the resoluteness in his voice piercing straight through your heart. 

Of course not. Of course he doesn’t trust you. What a ridiculous question.  

“Jisung is right, Chan.” A new voice adds and you focus on the sound of it, trying not to break down just yet. “You’re letting her sleep under your roof, man, and you didn’t even think to tell us. Has she been messing with your head?”

They are talking about you like you are some kind of monster, some wild beast that would pounce on you the second you turned your back to it. You’d find it amusing coming from anyone else, but not from Chan, because for once in your life you wanted to believe that someone could see you as something other than what the world thought you were. You blame yourself for this one. 

“My head is fine.” Chan retorts angrily, letting out a forced sigh. “I’m just.... She was in trouble and I had to help her.” 

“Oh, you had to?” The new guy interjects mockingly, “Tell me, would she have helped you if you were in her position?”

“That’s irrelevant.” Chan protests. 

“No, it’s not. She would’ve let you suffer and laughed about it. She’s bad news, man.” 

“I think you guys are being a little harsh.” Another voice speaks up, deeper than the rest. “Maybe she’s not as bad as you think. I’m sure Chan has a good reason for trusting her.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure his dick does.” Jisung scoffs, “You know, I can’t believe you’d do this after preaching to me for hours about how I need to stay away from her and how stupid I am for letting her get to me. But hey, I’m just a stupid squirrel hybrid, right?” 

You’ve heard enough. Pushing the door the rest of the way open, you plaster a smile on your face and step into the living room, the four boys’ head snapping around to look at you. 

“Chan, you didn’t tell me we had guests.” You ponder theatrically, ignoring Chan’s dismayed exclamation of your name. "Oh hey, Sungie. I knew you'd be back for more." You wink at him and he immediately ducks behind the dark-haired stranger. 

“Please go back to your room.” Chan asks, equal measure pale and tense.

“But aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” Your eyes flit over the three guys, stopping when you get to the blonde, freckled one. “Especially this one. What’s your name, pretty boy?”

The boy blushes at the unexpected flirtation but extends his hand out to you nonetheless. "I'm Felix." He greets you unexpectedly cheerily, and you’re even more surprised to find out that he’s the one with the deep voice.

But before you can take his hand, Chan steps between the two of you. 

"I need to talk to you." He grits, pulling you to your room and shutting the door behind you. “What are you doing?”

You shrug, feigning ignorance. “Saying hi to the guests?” 

“Now is not the time for your games.” Chan rakes his hand through his hair, stressed out, but you keep up your innocent facade and he sighs in defeat. “You know what? Just stay in your room until they leave and then we’ll talk.”

“No, we’ll talk now. Are you ashamed of me or something?" You wonder, cocking your head to the side. “I thought you said I was special to you? But apparently you say a lot of things.”

“Baby--”

“Why, Chan?” You finally let your facade drop, letting the full extent of your disappointment and sadness break through. “If you don’t want me here then why did you offer in the first place?”

“I do want you here. I just wasn’t planning on anyone finding out about this.”

You laugh in disdain, “How do you always know what to say, Chan?” 

“I’m sorry but you have to realize how bad this looks for me. I worked fucking hard to get to where I am today. There are so many people waiting for me to make the slightest mistake so they can watch me fall. And here you are… well, you don’t exactly have the best reputation. If people find out about us then--”

“Wow, you really are an angel, aren’t you?” You bite, venom lacing your every word.

He laughs cruelly. “Oh, yes, and the judgement comes out. You’re such a fucking hypocrite. You can judge everyone and treat them like shit, but as soon as someone does the same to you you’re suddenly the poor misunderstood victim that everyone bullies.”

You reel back at the harshness of his tone and words. He’s never spoken to you like that before, no matter how much he was upset at you. It was jarring. “Stop it.”  

“Why? It’s what you’re best at, darling.” He sneers, continuing to ruthlessly attack you. “You judged me before you even knew me and went about treating me like a feeble predator because that’s what you decided that I am. And now you want me to take responsibility for your actions and stand up for you when other people treat you the way you’ve been treating them? But here’s the thing, baby; maybe if you had actually been a decent person and treated others with respect, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. Hell if you'd been a decent person, you wouldn't be having such a hard time anywhere, not with me, not with school, not--" 

"No, fuck you, chan. Don't you dare tell me this is all my fault. You know nothing about my life! I can't believe I actually--never mind.”

“No say it. You actually what? Liked me? Cared for me? Don’t make me laugh, fox. You don't give a shit about me. Every time I try to get close to you, you pull back like I make you sick. If it weren’t for me offering you a place to stay, you wouldn’t even be talking to me right now. You only care now because I have something to give you, but the second you’re done with me, you’ll throw me in the trash like you do everyone else. And I’m not going to sacrifice all that I’ve worked for to entertain you until you’re bored.”  

“You may be right. I may be as awful as you all say I am.” You smile, tears falling down your face. “But at least I'm honest with myself. You on the other hand? Under all your pretense, you're just as fucked up as I am. And one day, everyone will see you for how ugly you really are. ” 

_______________________________

A/N: sorry guys she (me) had to do it to you. leave your feedback uwu

[emblemxeno]

edelgard literally only hangs out with the children of the well-to-do nobility of the adrestian empire. the only poor person she talks to is dorothea and their supports are just dorothea sucking up to her lol. how is edelgard reforming the continent if she's just putting her rich friends in charge of everything like i don't understand how she prioritizing merit at all? like isn't it a weird coincidence that all of the most capable ppl are adrestian nobility?

It is weird, but it becomes less weird when you think about it more and more. And by thinking about it, I mean "ignore fandom and focus solely on what the game provides."

And that’s because one thing I came to realize through all the discourse is that the idea that Edelgard "fights for class equality" is entirely a product of fandom and little else.

When Edelgard talks about nobility and her visions for the future, she doesn't talk about the problems of the common folk. At all. The closest she gets to doing so is her support with Dorothea where she says she'll appoint people regardless if they're noble or common.

Her primary stance is "Crests grant power, the nobility glorifies that power, and those without Crests are pushed aside/treated poorly. Positions granted based on having a Crest or family inheritance must be done away with so as not to squander humanity's potential." This stance is almost entirely in relation to the nobility. She sees Caspar as a victim of these antiquated systems because he has no inheritance. In her supports with Lysithea and Hanneman, she wants to rid the value of Crests so the value of nobility goes with it. During the story, she only brings up Crests as the tool used to keep people down, as a way for nobles in different families to be mistreated and even relays how she was a victim of a Crest deciding her destiny (this is also in Heroes I believe).

There is effectively nothing in the game itself that supports her wanting to better things for the common folk. No talk on tax reforms, better economy, participatory government (she says officials will be selected, not elected in her Constance support for example). The most basic and fundamental reform for an equitable future, free education, has to be brought to her by someone else. Crests themselves really have no bearing on common peoples' plights as a whole.

Her fundamental beliefs are exclusively in regards to how the nobility functions, not making things better for common people. She believes tearing down a system is all that it'll take for the people to then be equal and she says as much when talking to Byleth after chapter 5: "Have you ever wondered if the only way to create a truly free world is to dispense with the goddess and Crests? Do that, and people will have no choice but to rise and fall by their own merits."

The natural assumption would then be "well she is making things better for the common folk cuz if she's choosing people based on their merit instead of their blood, which includes the common people" which is what a good chunk of fandom took from her words. But as we see above, she never does anything to really support commoners themselves. She only believes in a bootstrap mentality, the result of which will be ultimately determined by her since, whoops! There's still an all powerful authority with the title of emperor, so class inequality still effectively exists under her. And exactly as you brought up, the ones who proved capable at the end of her route were all Adrestian nobility. The one commoner was pretty much left in the dust in comparison.

The only way her goals can start to make sense is to throw away the idea that class equality is one of her goals at all, let alone her primary one. But regardless, no need to worry anon, fandom is weird haha. And I could talk further about how this extends to her hatred of the church and how Dimitri when compared to her actually cares more about class based oppression, but this is getting long enough as it is lol. 

[snellyfish]

May I ask..... what is in your post game V3? I dunno how to ask this without sounding weird.

HM!!!!!!!!! GOOD QUESTION;;

I mostly only have braincells for Kiyo and Angie so not a lot of my thoughts are straying from that unfortunately LMAO, I was able to branch off a bit answering this though so thank you for indirectly helping me develop more!!

But I like to think it's the same scenario as the second game where it was all just a simulation. I know what I fantasize about is a VR AU and that "postgame" tends to refer to the survivors but literally none of my favorites survived so reality can be whatever I want: postgame Shinnaga is so canon it's unreal!! I'm sure there's probably a VR fic for them somewhere out there in the world, I wouldn't know because I suck at reading fhdjfk, but I would love to write my own someday HEH

-------------------------

They'd all wake up one by one as they die and end up all in the same facility where they're taken care of by the Danganronpa team, unable to leave until they’re well again due to the contracts they signed prior to playing-- Meaning Angie wakes up, Tenko wakes up a few hours later, Kiyo another few hours later, etc. Angie jumps back pretty quick from things so she'd be already VERY excited to see Kiyo*  after watching the trial, mostly because Angie like immediately caught onto what his sister really was to him (HINT: CONTROLLING AND AWFUL) and yelling at her screen saying "GOD WILL SMITE YOU ALL FOR PICKING ON THE WEAK" at everyone just calling him some incestuous freak during the trial. Angie does have genuinely incredible intuition (thanks god!) so she looks past the fact he murdered her Scarily Fast. Everyone would definitely mistrust and hate Angie even more as she tries to preach to them afterwards about Kiyo and how they need to forgive him since he’s a victim and God (most important opinion) already forgave him, but no one ever listened to her anyway especially postgame so it’s all in vain 😔

*whom might take a bit to wake up and fully acclimate again because...idk this man was boiled alive that's kinda Fucked I think all the executed would take longer to wake up because they went through more lengthy + traumatic deaths I guess? This just means even more time for Angie to sit on her thoughts about what happened to her+Kiyo yuh yuh

Everyone becomes a mix of their pregame selves and the identities they were given, they'd end up being mediocre/average (sometimes bad) at what their handpicked talent was but a lot of them still keep up doing it until they DO become good again. A very small amount of them try to replicate their killing game outfits and kinda live off the high of being what they once were and accomplished in their fake memories, like Miu and Himiko. (this also makes me think about Irumeno a bit more 👀) Pretty much every single one of them in pregame saw themselves as nothing, being disposable enough to be in a killing game (even if it turns out to be virtual), so the new identities would overpower the mix for the most part since they’re the more intensified and dramaticized personality--IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE LOL.

--Angie absolutely never stopped her art and has a less intense view on Religion, since garnering more experiences in life she’s just be less intense in general I'd think; more open with her emotions in that she'd actually cry, but still very manic and bubbly and optimistic nonetheless. After getting help (mostly from Kiyo who deals with the same thing), Angie is able to differentiate her thoughts and desires from “God”’s thoughts and desires, YEA she still has a funky little friend in her head. She's not AS pushy especially not with her equally traumatized fellow killing game participants but she still absolutely gets her moments of intensity and assertiveness now and then if she thinks something God is telling her is absolute truth and for the betterment of everyone: she is still Angie afterall, truly believing everyone would be much happier with her God in their lives but having enough self-restraint to know everyone will just push her away further if she tries to help them in that regard. She has her moments of desperation but most everyone’s too far gone from her already.

--Korekiyo is such a complicated one--I do like to think of pregame Kiyo as transfem/nonbinary and that would partially stick into his postgame identity in some way...killing game Kiyo was Just A Dude but after becoming the mix of the two identities he'd be VERY confused, especially with the influence of his (simulated) sister's influence. (genderfluid time? :)) He'd have varying degrees of when his...sister...alter...thing...comes out, or is present in his head in any regard, she'd be gone or slowly disappearing from his mind for months at a time and he'd initially be extremely unstable about it because he feels extremely isolated and lost when he can’t talk to her, but he's got Angie by his side so he becomes significantly less stressed about it over time, learning to cope with it. Eventually he finds himself no longer dependent on sister and...has to learn a SECOND time to not be unhealthily dependent; on Angie this time. (funky little idea I’ve been wanting to draw/write about sometime...hnnrngm) They’re both miracle workers when it comes to each other’s mental health it’s kinda insane. Of course, after realizing that Sister never really existed, he harbors near-immediate guilt for having murdered Angie and Tenko once he’s alone with his thoughts, not being puppeteered by sister, realizing everything he ever did he did for HER and realizing how fucked it all was pretty quickly--he does crave interacting with his victims in a positive and healing light but he’s sort of traumatized by it all to the point he is TERRIFIED when they’re around him at first.

--Tenko ends up EVEN MORE protective and grudgeful after she wakes up, trying to shield everyone and everything from most of the blackened, absolutely makes Kiyo manage to feel like even worse shit when he's got 1 extremely supportive and loving woman he killed and 1 extremely spiteful woman he killed who might legitimately murder him in return if he’s not careful. Tenko never makes amends with Angie and becomes close with Himiko (who's close with Gonta despite Tenko's wishes (she hates him for killing Miu, local woman)), managing to keep Himiko far far away from Angie, not only for "stealing" Himiko in the Student Council but also for the fact Angie's glued to Kiyo's side--making her the second least trustworthy person to Tenko..

--Himiko is very traumatized after the game due to surviving all the way til the end, likely making her (along with Shuichi+Maki) very disillusioned and lost--unable to decipher anything from fiction or reality--it takes a long time for Himiko to really “accept” anything; tried to cling to both Tenko and Angie but ends up just stuck on Tenko, mourning the loss of her friendship with Angie while doing so. Himiko would probably be shoved away from Gonta at first as well, but Tenko felt a lot more confident in Gonta so after a long while of her aggressively trying to teach him manners and keeping an emotional deathgrip on him whenever he wants to interact with Himiko, they’d end up close friends again. Still thinking about Irumeno-- Also with the whole ~~Survivor Delusions~~ thing, I think that helps play into Himiko’s attachment and insistence to keep up her old magician identity, because she has a very hard time trying to tell what’s real n fake ykno, and it takes her a while to realize she doesn’t have her talent anymore; absolutely ending in tearful breakdowns and unending determination to find herself again by forcibly trying to improve and push herself to her limits.

For the most part Kiyo and Angie are outcasted from everyone else, a lot of that being due to Tenko's preaching but...also everyone just doesn't understand what actually happened to Kiyo and they are all deathly worried about Angie, but not enough to get themselves involved; they're scared of Angie too, afterall, not as much as they're scared of Kiyo but ykno-- They think her naivety and determination to “fix him” is going to get her murdered again, every day they’re just counting down the minutes until it happens again. (spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

I could ABSOLUTELY go off more but I really have to end this at some point so fhdsjkfds--

TLDR;; Angie (and God alter) forgive Kiyo almost immediately. Sister alter likes to disappear sometimes making Kiyo sad and unfortunately dependent on Angie. Both Kiyo + Angie help each other heal and recover from their issues. Tenko hates both Kiyo + Angie with a passion and protectively forbids Himiko from seeing either of them. Himiko is close friends with Tenko and Gonta and Maybe More with Miu.