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beauty-and-passion · 3 years

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What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

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2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

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3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

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4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

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5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

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6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

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7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

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9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

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10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

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chrisevansjellybeans · 4 years

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TikTok Challenge (2)

A/N: Been getting a lot of love on the first part of this and that means the world so thank you guys so much! Here’s part 2 and I hope you enjoy :)

Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: swearing(??), indication of smut

Word Count: 1546

(1)

You shouldn’t have been surprised that your TikTok with Chris would blow up. You weren’t dumb and you had been on TikTok enough to know that there was whole pages just dedicated to your incredible silly and loveable boyfriend. Hell, you followed most of them and quite frankly chatted with some of the creators because they loved your boyfriend as much as you did.

And yet here you were, stunned, as you stared at your video as it played the iconic scene over and over again and tucked nicely on the side was the number 2.3 million. Over 2 million people liked yours and Chris’s video, and it had only been up for about a week. And the comments were so kind and funny. People demanding that you continue doing small pranks on him or requesting other couple challenges. Your face lit up when you saw Chris Olson commented, since you had tagged him you hoped it would reach him but you weren’t sure.

“Holy shit.” You mumbled to yourself as you also stared at your follower count. When you had first downloaded your TikTok you had maybe 25 followers, just close friends and family. You had made a couple just silly videos with Dodge and that had made you get a couple hundred more when people started to recognize you, but now you were at 150k.

Quickly you started thinking of a different video that you could do. Immediately the video of girls going up to their boyfriends like they were about to initiate sex but then stand up and jump on them came to mind.

Perfect.

Now you just had to find a way to set up the camera while Chris was in the bedroom. You got up from the couch and made your way to the bedroom, luckily he was still showering after his workout. You glanced around the room and tried to pinpoint the perfect spot for your phone later.

The dresser on the side wall had some candles on it that would be the perfect prop and it was just out of the way enough that he wouldn’t really notice if your phone was over there. As you fiddled with your phone you heard the shower turn off and Chris’s voice, humming to whatever song he was playing, was getting closer. Quickly, you grabbed your phone and hopped on the bed trying to act like you were just relaxing.

“Hey babygirl,” Chris smiled at you as he walked out of the bathroom, running a towel through his hair as another was loosely wrapped around his waist. He made his way over to you instead of his closet and leaned down and gave you a kiss. “What ya doing?”

“Just going through Instagram. Thinking about my hot boyfriend all wet and sudsy in the shower. You know, the usual.” You grinned up at him. He raised his eyebrow slightly as he leaned more on you.

“Oh really?” He pressed his lips against that spot on your neck that had you melting in his hands. “And why didn’t you join me? I had something I needed you to take care of in there.” The vibration of his voice against your skin was felt as it made your nipples stand at attention and your core ache.

“Hmm.” You moaned as you ran your fingers through his hair, having him move up so that you could give him a proper kiss. “I’m here now.”

“That you are, babygirl.” Chris said against your lips as he let the towel around his waist fall down and pulled you closer to him. “Let me show you what you missed.”

You stood outside, waiting for Dodger to finish going to the bathroom before bedtime. As soon as he finished, you finished turning off all the lights around the house and blowing out any candles that Chris might have missed on his way to bed.

“Come on, Dodge. Let’s go find daddy.” Dodger followed dutifully behind you, his favorite stuffed Lion secured between his teeth.

Chris looked like every girl’s wet dream when you walked into the bedroom. He was leaning up against the bed frame with a book in front of him, bare chested and only in a pair of plaid pajamas pants. The icing on the cake though was his new reading glasses he just got. It seemed impossible but he somehow got even sexier with those on.

You quickly changed out of your clothes and put on your favorite of Chris’s t-shirts to sleep in and since you were about to film a video, put on some pajama shorts as well. You walked over to the dresser with the notion to take off your jewelry, but as you did that you also set up your phone on the spot that you had decided on before.

When the timer went off you walked over to Chris, once again trying hard not to break character as you tried to seem as seductive as possible. He looked over the top of his book as you moved onto him, straddling his waist. Immediately he set down his book and glasses on the nightstand and his hands found their way to your ass.

“Are you sure you’re ready for, what would this be, round 4?” You felt yourself blush all over knowing that Chris’s words would be heard on the internet. You didn’t say anything as you lightly kissed right under his jaw. Chris groaned and his head fell back as he gripped your ass tighter. But his face of pleasure soon turned to confusion as you stood up.

“Worldstar baby!” You laughed as you tapped your elbow and jumped. But of course your “I do my own stunts” boyfriend had reflexes like a goddamn cat and before you could fully land on him he caught you.

“Are you on crack?” Chris laughed as he tickled your sides as you fell to the side of him. You giggled as he continued to tickle you.

“It’s for-” you could barely finish seeing as you couldn’t breathe from laughing. You pointed to your phone on the dresser. “Tiktok babe.”

Chris groaned as he stopped his ticklish assault on you and pushed his face into the crook of your neck.

“Babe!” He groaned as he rolled over and sat up, looking directly in the camera like a scene out of the office. You sat up behind him and wrapped your arms around his neck as you smiled into the camera as well.

“Smile for the fans, honey.” You joked.

“Wait, so does that mean no sex tonight?”

“Christopher!” You glanced at the camera which had once again ended at the perfect time.

“Ha. Now you won’t post it.” Chris chuckled.

“Babe, if you don’t think that every girl, gay and they on that app won’t get excited at the sound of you saying that; you truly don’t know your own fans.” You kissed his cheek and bounced over to your phone watching the video. You bit your lip as you watched, slightly concerned that it might be a little too scandalous in the video. You knew that there were worse things on that app but you knew that you had to be more careful for Chris’s sake.

“Chris, come watch this.” You turned to him. “I don’t want to post it if you think that Caroline will kill me.” Caroline, his publicist, worked hard to make sure that Chris maintained his image as the wonderful human being that he was. He obviously didn’t make it hard to do but you didn’t want to cause any issues.

Chris sighed as you sat next to him, leaned your head against his chest and let the video replay.

“If it’s too sex tape-ish in the beginning I wont post it. Just having it for myself is enough.” You said as Chris watched the video closely. You bit your lip as the part where you’re on top of him played.

“But you want to post it?” Chris asked when the video finished. He turned to look at you fully, placing his hands on the tops of your thighs.

“I mean of course, it’s funny and I think people would like it. Our other video has already gone viral. But I’m not going to do anything that you are uncomfortable with. I know you like your privacy.”

“I think it’s fine to post. I mean there’s not much worse that can happen since the other incident.” You rubbed his hand that was resting on your leg. “If Caroline has a problem with it she can talk to me, but I say it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” You asked once more before you posted it. “This might be the video that shoots us into TikTok fame. Forget Captain America, this will be your biggest gig yet.” You joked.

“I can not stand you.” Chris rolled his eyes. “Now let’s please either have the sex that I thought I was getting or go to bed.” He laid down and raised his eyebrows seductively. He lightly tapped the spot next to him and then made circular motions with his hands.

“You’re a dork.” You laughed as you set your phone down and decided to reward your boyfriend for being so cooperative.

#chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans x reader imagine #chris evans fanfiction

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ellavaday · 2 years

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this week's dosage of sandra screaming into the void about dres2 brought to you by the fact that I've rewatched this like 3 times already and i'm still living

i say this every season but it bears repeating: guys i live for the friendships on this show in general but of supremme's best friend race in particular

the andalusian girls breaking havoc in the workroom makes sense with my fantasy, i need a show w estrella jota and samantha being chaotic, team barbadura and the team anti beauty 🥰

it's always trippy for me to hear canarian accent bc it sounds v close to the accent of my country (and it reminds me ofc of my childhood bff who has ofc never felt more canarian in her life having sethlas on the show)

people coming for sharonne on the reading challenge... y'all? have no self preservation?? nenas buscaros vuestra muerte natural jdgsjn

sethlas read to estrella as the kebab meat took me tf out and so did supremme clapping back to jota gsjsgj

that segment of 'idk what to do for my talent show's es más falso que un billete de un euro that was so fake

this is v madrileñocore of me i'm aware but when ariel talked about the panic attack in the subway station i immediately felt for her bc that subway station she mentioned is what connect madrid to the literal pits of hell, the stairs are endless and it's v anxiety inducing, i felt so SO bad for her bc i immediately knew what she was talking about

THE S1 CAST WATCHING THE TALENT SHOW

vulki's proud mom moment w the canarian flag for sethlas, I'm so 🥰🥰🥰

*puts the old flamenco bailaora shoes on* what jota was doing was a tanguillo de cadiz based on el tanguillo de la guapa by lola flores and yes i was getting my life it was so much fun i am not big on folklorism (long story) but i fucking live for mixing it with different genres to make it fun, she says she was freestyling the entire thing (and i'm inclined to believe her bc she does that in her shows it's lots of fun and don't underestimate her) *takes off the flamenco dancer shoes*

tarantula is a spanish gay holiday (pride and halloween) bop but sadly i do agree presentation really was a bit weak in comparison, i do think it was on a similar level as onyx's but picking a second person for the bottom would have been hard (she did go online and say it was a bit last minute because her original choreography couldn't be done)

when the mtq dropped i called juriji a siren and told someone i'd drown happily hearing her sing and i was right

venedita 🤝 sethlas 🤝 angering the catholic church and i think that's very iconic of them😌

all of dita's numbers are basically strip tease and this is not my favorite of hers but it is a spanish talent show so it makes sense to make it all about toros and flamenco and she's iconic (/the very biased opinion of someone whose getaway to spanish drag was venedita von dash and didi machiavelli)

as soon as onyx came out of that egg i immediately thought of digimon 🤣 but it's a reference to evangelion actually

marina's number brings me to my favorite spanish drag tradition of making parody songs with witty lyrics and i love it to death bc it reminds me of the Madrid gay neighborhood unofficial anthem

estrella is growing on me so quickly, that being said, inti's face watching her perform like :/ was v funny next to arantxa who was literally living her best life

i saw sharonne perform for the first time a couple weeks ago and i was already impressed but i'm even more in love now bc jazz

#TEAMQUIERECHOCOLATE (/biased opinion of a drag reign fan and a caribbean girl whose friends were in the vid)

shout out to the dancers in this show bc they really did that the whole thing was filmed in one go these boys didn't have time to breathe

love love love this runway oh my actual

killer queen mentioned she had a panic attack for the first time on set filming this and oh my god, baby 🥺

did madrid go fucking ferral at this elimination? yes it did (and i am disgusted at some of the things people have said to samantha, chill tf down it's just a show) but honest to goodness every single elimination will rip my heart out because i am already so in love with this entire cast

#drag race españa #personal #rpdr spain #drag race espana

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bistortion-29 · 4 years

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The reason why I enjoy hearing or reading about queer characters is that, it truly fascinates me. Not the whole 'how can they be gay thing' but the whole 'they are gay and they have a significant other.' Like these people didn't care. They loved another person truly and wholly without giving a single fuck. And despite the rules and norms of the society, they choose to love. I can never do that. I can never be that brave to risk everything else I have for just one person. They wrote letters, they allowed the world to know. And they didn't care.

Like the sonnets Shakespeare wrote for a mysterious young man. Like Oscar Wilde and Alfred Douglas. The letters between Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West. The letters between John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton. The letters between Emily Dickinson and Susan Gilbert.

I love the fictional characters as well. Who literally risk everything and overcome fears of their own to love. Alec was a shadow hunter and he fell in love with Magnus WHO WAS A WARLOCK and married him. Nico di Angelo who was born in the 1940s where being gay meant living on the streets fell in love with Will Solace. Henry was a freaking Prince, yet he wrote such pure, raw, unadulterated words for Alex. Jude went through so much in his life and yet he allowed Willem to love him. Ari and Dante lived during a time where being gay was fatal; Dante was attacked in the book and Ari's brother killed a prostitute after finding out that they were trans. Oliver came from a conservative family and still loved Elio. These couples would have had doubts and apprehensions but they still loved each other and didn't care.

Here are some iconic quotes;

"I must see you soon — you are the divine thing I want." And. "...it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should be made no less for the madness of music and song than for the madness of kissing. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days." Oscar Wilde to Alfred Douglas.

"You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent." Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens.

"I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia...you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it." Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf.

"Do I repine, is it all murmuring, or am I sad and lone, and cannot, cannot help it? Sometimes when I do feel so, I think it may be wrong, and that God will punish me by taking you away; for he is very kind to let me write to you, and to give me your sweet letters, but my heart wants more." Emily Dickinson to Susan Gilbert.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" Shakespeare.

"You could give me the past," he said a little sadly. "But Alec is my future." Magnus Bane, City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare.

"Nico, I've seen a lot of brave things. But what you just did? That was maybe the bravest." Jason Grace to Nico di Angelo, House of Hades by Rick Riordan.

"Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?" Prince Henry of Wales to Alex Claremont-Diaz the First son, Red White & Royal Blue by Casey Mcquiston.

"You were treated horribly. You came out on the other end. You were always you.”

"And who are you?"

"I'm Willem Ragnarsson. And I will never let you go." Willem Ragnarsson to Jude St. Francis, A Little Life by Hanya Yanahigara.

"How could I have ever been ashamed of loving Dante Quintana?" Aristotle Mendoza in Aristotle and Dante discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sàenz.

"I could spend the rest of my life like this: with him, at night, in Rome, my eyes totally shut, one leg coiled around his. I thought of coming back here in the weeks or months to come—for this was our spot." Elio from Call me by your name by Andrè Aciman.

Of course there are many more real and fictional couples, feel free to comment some.

As I said, I know not whether it is the place that I live or my own upbringing. But I will maybe allow myself to silently feel but I would never have the courage to love like these people. Those who receive love are both weak and strong but those who love are stronger than anyone else.

- midnight rants.

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years

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you happened

hey darlings!! happy wednesday!!!

let’s get right into it shall we?

tw for

discussion of canon events in mg (outing, etc)

discussion of canon events in the prom (homophobia, etc.)

this was requested by @spidy-nugget like forever ago so thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!

—

“Oh!” Cady says, interrupting herself in the middle of a sentence. “I just remembered! My cousin is coming to visit next week, do you guys want to meet her?”

“Emma?” Damian asks excitedly. Cady nods. “Yes! Is she bringing the-her… Broadway friends?”

“I dunno, she didn’t tell me,” Cady giggles. “But probably, she said they usually visit her at some point every summer.”

“I should probably be there to stop him from combusting if they do come,” Janis huffs. “But also, yes, I want to meet her too.”

“She’s an absolute icon,” Damian says happily. “God, her song. Still makes me cry.”

“You cried watching Finding Dory yesterday,” Janis retaliates.

“It’s a sad movie! Sometimes!” Damian defends. “Anyway, tell me all about Emma.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles again. “She’s a year older than us, and she’s my cousin on my mom’s side. Um… you know her whole… prom fiasco. I’ve only met her in person once when I was ten, for Rhys’ funeral. But we were pen pals when we were really little. And now we just text and stuff.”

“Cute,” Damian says. “And is her girlfriend coming?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Cady says around a mouthful of Janis’ milkshake. “Her name is Alyssa, she’s, like, super smart. Did every possible activity in high school, that kind of thing. But she’s been with Emma when we’ve Facetimed and stuff before and she’s super sweet.”

“Aww,” Damian coos. “I can’t wait!”

————-

Luckily for him, Damian doesn’t have to wait too long. Emma and Alyssa arrive the following week in Emma’s pickup. Damian has been pressed against the window all day, like a small child watching for the ice cream truck. He gasps dramatically when four people in matching sequined tracksuits also hop out of the backseat, grumbling about being cramped together for such a long trip.

Cady opens the door to let everyone in, and is quickly swamped by a crowd of people much taller than her. Janis pops up on her tippy toes to try and find her girlfriend to save her, but doesn’t succeed.

Everyone heads into the living room, and Janis laughs when she finds Cady being carried in like a sack of potatoes by one of the men that came with Emma.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me your cousin was so adorable?” He demands. “Look at this, she’s so small.”

“Please put me down,” Cady squeaks. Janis heads over and reaches for her.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, please?”

“And she’s gay!” The man says happily, passing Cady over like she’s a small dog. Janis holds her close and smoothes her hair back to where it was.

“Bi, actually,” Cady grumbles.

“Well, aren’t you something. Oh, my name is Barry, by the way. As if you haven’t heard of me.”

“Barry, we talked about this,” Emma chides. “They haven’t. Except Damian.”

“And where is this Damian? I want to meet him,” one of the ladies says. “Oh, and my name is Dee Dee.”

Damian enters shyly and gives a little wave. Janis cackles, “Dude, you’re totally starstruck, look at you!”

“Uh-hi,” he stutters. “I’m Damian.”

“Aww!” The other lady says. “Look at your little cheeks, what a sweetheart! I’m Angie.”

Damian blushes violently as he’s cooed over by Angie. Barry hauls her off to get a good look at him.

“I like this,” he says. “It’s like a mini me.”

“Just don’t break him,” Emma pleads. “Damian, can I trust you to babysit for a while?”

That prompts a, ‘Hey!’ from all four adults, and an eager nod from Damian. “I can show them around town.”

“This is not a town, darling,” Dee Dee says gently. “But what is there to see?”

“We have… uh-“

“There’s an IHOP!” Cady chirps. “And the mall. That’s kind of it until you get to Chicago. Or the lake.”

“This is the most precious soul,” Barry says happily.

“Dame, we did it. I never thought I’d see the day we found someone gayer than you,” Janis laughs.

“Oh, I like this one too,” Barry says. “Funky little lesbian. She dresses like Emma but goth.”

“I do love the hair,” Emma agrees. “I’m dressed more like Cady today though.”

They both look down at their almost-matching flannels and jean shorts, then back at each other with a nod.

“Same boots though,” Janis cheers, lifting a foot. Emma laughs and nudges it with one of her own doc martens. “Nice.”

“Precious,” Angie says. “Okay, we’ll leave you gals alone now. Damian, show us the sights.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Damian says, leading the adults to the door.

“Yes, show us to the… hopping eyes,” Dee Dee says, sounding both bored and intrigued at the same time. Damian waves goodbye to Janis excitedly and closes the door after him.

“Well,” Emma chuckles. “Oh, I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” Alyssa soothes. “He’s in good company, and he’s a theatre kid, he gets their… vibes.”

“Theatre kid is an understatement for that boy,” Janis tuts affectionately.

“True,” Cady giggles. “Anyway, we can hang out in my room, if you want?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, so Cady leads everyone up to her bedroom. Janis flops onto the bed and Cady crawls in behind her, lifting her head onto her lap. Alyssa and Emma look around curiously for a second before joining them.

“Who did these?” Alyssa asks, pointing to the paintings and collages adorning the walls. “They’re incredible, especially this one. It looks just like you guys!”

Janis flushes as she points to the one she won her art contest with, of she and Damian and Cady all together. “I did.”

“Dang,” Emma breathes. “You have some serious talent, Janis.”

“Thanks,” Janis squeaks.

“No, seriously! Do you have stuff here?” Emma insists.

“A few things, yeah,” Janis says confusedly, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Emma lifts her guitar case onto the bed and flicks the latches open, pulling out her famous instrument. It’s covered in stickers and little doodles, much like Janis’ jackets.

“Will you do something on this for me?”

Janis’ eyes go wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course!” Emma chuckles. “There’s room down here if you want it visible, or on the back.”

Janis carefully takes the instrument and assesses the material, trying to put an idea together in her mind. She runs to Cady’s desk when one comes to her, where she keeps a supply of basic colors and brushes in case of emergency. Cady doesn’t mind keeping them, they remind her of her girlfriend.

Cady grins affectionately as Emma and Alyssa cuddle in together. “How did you two meet?”

Her cousin turns to smile at her girlfriend. “I kind of always knew of her from school and stuff, but we didn’t really get close until sophomore year.”

Alyssa nods in agreement. “My mom wanted me to be more creative and have another skill or whatever, so she signed me up for guitar classes. Just so happens she was my teacher.”

“You really sucked,” Emma teases. Alyssa scoffs, aghast, and shoves her so hard she nearly falls off the bed. “Ack! Hey, I was kidding!”

“I know,” Alyssa giggles. “I did suck, I’ve never been much good at artsy stuff.”

“I was never good at art either,” Cady chuckles at their antics. “Jay’s tried to teach me to paint a couple times and it hasn’t gone too well.”

She peeks around the other couple to where her own girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on the ground, tongue poked out to the side as she carefully brushes a stroke of paint onto Emma’s guitar. Janis looks up when she feels her gaze, and grins happily when she sees Cady.

“You have the right instincts, I keep telling you,” she says. “You just get cranky too fast and then start attacking me with it.”

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Emma says, “I don’t blame her, I hated art class. What were we talking about?”

“How we met, dummy,” Alyssa huffs, kissing behind Emma’s ear.

“Oh yeah! So, we started off with actual lessons, but then we started getting to know each other more,” Emma explains. “And then I came out and got kicked out, which… a lot of people heard about, so Lyss figured I was a safe person to tell that she was questioning.”

Cady nods, listening intently to the story.

“I came out to her that summer,” Alyssa says. “And she said she’d had a crush on me all along, and asked me out. So we went on a walk and then got coffee and the rest is history.”

“We forgot to mention the serious gay panic I had during our first lesson,” Emma chuckles. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“How cute,” Cady coos.

“What about you two, how long have you been together?” Alyssa asks kindly, flicking Emma’s ear gently as she aggressively plops down onto her lap.

“Four months,” Janis pipes up immediately.

“Man, you crushed on her for that long without saying anything, Cades?” Emma says, impressed. Janis pops her head up and listens in.

“Oh?”

“She never shut up about you for, like, almost a year,” Emma laughs. Cady flushes scarlet and looks down at her lap with a flustered squeak. “I’m assuming it was you, she never gave a name. But it was always a tall, hot artist with cool hair and nice muscles. And I think she mentioned your butt a few times, she thinks that’s cute.”

Janis cackles as Cady flops facedown onto her bed and groans into a pillow. “How cute, I didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t laugh, I definitely wasn’t any better.”

“How did you get together?” Alyssa asks, patting Cady’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Janis snorts from the ground and Cady gives another groan into her pillow. “What?”

“You tell them,” Cady grumbles, poking her face out just long enough that it’s not muffled.

“Baby, it’s cute,” Janis coos.

“No it’s not!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell it in a way that makes me look just as dorky,” Janis compromises. “Caddy came to my school in September from Kenya, and she had these adorable little cargo shorts and socks with sandals on, and-“

“Hold on, what?” Alyssa insists. “Kenya?”

“Cady grew up there, her parents are zoologists,” Emma explains.

“How many conversations have we had with her? And you never thought to tell me she’s from Africa?”

“It never came up! We both had a lot going on the first year and then we just didn’t bring it up,” Emma defends. “And now you know.”

“Sorry,” Alyssa says. “Keep going.”

“It’s all good,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, I fell for her so bad the first day that I dragged Damian into the bathroom at lunch and made him let her join our group.”

Cady pops her head up and looks to her girlfriend. ��You did?”

“Yeah, duh,” Janis says. “We’re not known for socializing with the new kids, I just thought you were cute.”

Cady blushes again, but doesn’t return to her pillow. “Keep going.”

Janis chuckles and continues telling the story as she finishes her small painting on Emma’s guitar. “So we became friends that day, and then had… an ordeal, through the rest of junior year and didn’t really reconnect until spring.”

Cady’s told Emma and Alyssa the whole story, so they both nod at Janis’ quick explanation.

“We got really close over the summer, and apparently we were both crushing on each other. But we didn’t notice, somehow. And then I sorta snapped on her birthday this year and decided to fess up, so I made that,” Janis points to the black and white collage hanging next to one of her paintings on the wall. “But before I could give it to her, this little firecracker got wasted and started crying in my lap about how much she loved me.”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cady huffs.

“I found you lying on the ground singing yourself to sleep,” Janis giggles. “And you didn’t recognize me, clearly. Just climbed into my lap and spilled your guts. I was lucky it wasn’t literal.”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady grumbles. “Behave.”

“Fine, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, once she sobered up a little bit we had a chat and realized we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. And now we’re here.”

“That did not make you sound anywhere near as dorky as me,” Cady huffs. “But yeah, that’s… that’s it.”

Emma snorts once the story is done. “That does sound like Cady. But if that’s what it took, then I guess it was worth it.”

Cady turns to look at Janis again. “It was. But you guys went through a lot more than us, that must have been tough on both of you.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Emma chuckles, trying to sneak a peek at Janis’ work. The angle isn’t quite right, so she gives up before she falls off her girlfriend. “You guys went through a lot. But yeah, it was really tough. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Alyssa murmurs back. “You guys know the story?”

“I do,” Cady says. “I think Jay and Damian just know the bare bones. It’s your story to tell, I didn’t want to give too many details away.”

Alyssa gives her a grateful smile, and Cady grins back. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” Janis pipes up. “I finished, by the way. Um, here.”

“Hey, you stole my idea!” Cady jokingly whines when she sees what Janis has done.

“But it’s so perfect!” Janis defends. Emma takes her guitar to see, and smiles at the new lion with a rainbow mane in the spot they’d picked. “And it’s kind of for both of us.”

“This is awesome,” Emma says. “Oh! I get it, it’s a pride thing! Pride of lions, and then… oh. Clever!”

“It was actually Caddy’s idea, she made me a rock with it at pride last week,” Janis says. “I thought it fit.”

“It does, you’re really talented!” Alyssa says, leaning over her girlfriend’s shoulder to see it. Janis’ text tone goes off, so she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts to check it. Cady peeks over to see what it is too as Janis bursts out laughing. It’s a picture of Damian surrounded by his new friends, now in a matching tracksuit all of his own.

jamian: Sent a picture: JAN LOOKIT

danis: nice outfit

jamian: Thank u it really suits me doesnt it

danis: honestly

danis: yeah kinda

jamian: Sent a picture: Thank u

jamian: Anyway we’re going to ihop next yall should meet us there

danis: kk love u

jamian: Love u too

“I think your little crew adopted Damian,” Janis chuckles at Emma and Alyssa, showing them the photo of a very excited Damian.

“Aww,” Emma chuckles. “I’m glad they didn’t kill him, they can be a lot to handle.”

“He seems fine,” Janis shrugs. “Whose truck are we taking?”

“Oh, is that one in the driveway yours?” Emma says excitedly. Janis nods. “It’s nice!”

“We’ve been in Em’s all day,” Alyssa chuckles. “Probably best to take yours.”

“I call shotgun!” Cady yells, already tugging on her shoes and running downstairs.

“As if I’d let anyone else,” Janis mumbles affectionately under her breath.

————-

The waitstaff at IHOP look more than a little frightened at the size of their group, and especially at the crew in tracksuits.

“Ey, yo!” One of them calls. “Guys, come here! It’s that guy from the thing! That show!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Trent grumbles under his breath. “Why is it always that? I played Hamlet!”

They’re quickly escorted to a large table near the back, and Trent signs a few menus as a little gift to the now very excited waiters.

“Was Juilliard worth it?” He mutters to himself. Angie, who’s sat next to him, nudges him with an elbow to shut him up.

Janis and Emma both order for their girlfriends, and also order themselves the same meal of chicken and waffles. Dee Dee gets french toast, Angie gets an omelet, Trent gets some crepes, and Barry gets the most horrifically sweet looking pancakes anyone’s ever seen. Apparently they’re cupcake flavored.

Alyssa looks very content with her large Belgian waffle, and Cady seems delighted with her chocolate chip pancakes decorated with whipped cream to look like a face. It’s definitely from the children’s menu, but nobody says anything.

“So tell us about you guys,” Dee Dee says once their food gets delivered. She looks eagerly to her friends, as if to say, ‘Look how nice I can be when I want to.’ Barry claps quietly for her.

“What do you want to know?” Damian asks. Dee Dee puts her head in her hands, clearly not knowing how to continue. Trent takes over for her.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Oh!” Damian says excitedly. “Janis and I have been friends, like, forever. We met in tap dance class when we were three.”

“And you knocked my fucking teeth out in that class when we were five,” Janis grumbles.

“By accident!” Damian defends amidst the giggles of their whole group. “I got really into it. Anyway, so we’ve been friends forever. And then little Caddy happened along in junior year, and we kind of kidnapped her for a while.”

“No, I needed to be kidnapped,” Cady laughs. “I was a total wreck. They actually sort of rescued me from the school bathroom at lunch.”

“You were eating in the bathroom?” Barry asks, sounding both empathetic and disgusted. “Oh, you poor sweet thing.”

“I was the new kid, y’know?” Cady shrugs. “Nobody wanted to eat with the dork from Africa.”

Angie chokes on a bite of her food, and Trent thumps her on the back. “From what now?”

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady giggles. “Well, technically I was born in Oregon. But I lived in Kenya for thirteen years.”

“Just, like, in the wilderness?” Barry asks in shock. “With the lions and tigers and… bears and stuff?”

Cady laughs out loud. “Pretty much. But there’s no tigers or bears.”

“But there were lions?” Trent insists.

“Oh, yeah,” Cady says like it’s entirely normal. “That’s mostly what we were studying. They were kind of my only friends.”

“And they never showed any interest in… consuming you?” Dee Dee asks worriedly. Cady laughs again.

“Lions are just big cats, you know, guys? As long as you’re careful and respect their boundaries they won’t hurt you,” she chuckles. “I got swiped at a few times when I was little, but I never needed more than fifteen stitches.”

“Fifteen?” Angie yelps.

“That is kind of a lot, Cades,” Emma chuckles. “I never had to get more than three as a kid.”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of asking for it, I was playing too rough,” Cady hums.

“With a lion,” Alyssa insists. “Do you have pictures?” Cady nods and passes over her phone for them to scroll through her camera roll.

“Anyway, please keep going,” Angie says, leaning across the table to try to see.

“That’s basically it,” Janis shrugs. “Until you get into the whole mess that happened junior year.”

Cady and Damian nod in agreement. The adults all look very excited at the prospect of some new drama. “Do tell.”

The art freaks all look to one another warily, wondering who should begin. Cady decides to after a second of back and forth.

“Well, um… I sat with these two on my first day,” she begins. “But then just before lunch ended I met these three girls. We called them the Plastics.”

“Why?” Angie asks curiously. Damian shows them all a photo. “Oh. I already don’t like this one.” Janis snorts quietly as she points to Regina.

“Anyway, they said I should sit with them, and Janis and Damian wanted me to so I could spy on them,” Cady says sheepishly. “They have some… personal history.”

“Oh?” Trent asks. Cady looks to Janis, this bit is her story to tell.

“Regina, the one in the middle, outed me in eighth grade,” Janis says. “Carved slurs into my locker, that kinda thing.”

“Oh, honey,” Barry says sadly. “That bitch.”

Janis chuckles weakly. “Yeah. The other two just kind of went along with it. They were just generally bitchy to everyone. But I didn’t have many friends because of her, and I went through a lot of counseling and stuff because of it. Spent some time in the hospital for… reasons, but that’s not… something we need to discuss right now.”

Everyone nods, respecting her privacy. Cady continues telling the story. “So, I pretended to join them and would kind of report back to Janis and Damian. I learned that they had this book, called the Burn Book, where they would write mean things about people from the yearbook and stuff. And at the same time I was crushing for a long time on this boy named Aaron, but he was Regina’s ex. She had dumped him earlier for another guy. And she was actually cheating on him with the other one.”

“Oh, can I tell this bit?” Janis asks. Cady nods and gestures for her to keep going. “So, around Halloween, Cady went to Aaron’s party, and I don’t know exactly what happened, but he basically got back together with Regina.”

“What kind of idiot-“ Trent begins, getting cut off by a stomp on the foot from Dee Dee.

“So poor Caddy came to my house,” Janis says, trying to keep down giggles at the memory. “Fucking slams my basement door open, but Dame and I were watching horror movies. Caddy was dressed as some corpse bride with a knife in her back and everything, and Damian screamed so loud, like, higher than I’ve ever heard. But she was crying, so we helped her and then came up with a revenge plot.”

Dee Dee suddenly looks very interested, leaning forwards slightly and resting her head on her folded hands.

“Caddy had these snack bars from Kenya, they’re… Swedish, I think?” Damian says. Cady nods. “They make you gain weight, like, really quickly. Regina was kind of obsessed with her weight and image and stuff, so we got Caddy to tell her they were actually a diet bar to help lose weight.”

“No,” Angie gasps. Everyone laughs at her reaction.

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “I don’t think anything major happened until around Christmas. The Plastics did this dance every year at the winter talent show, and we had to wear these skimpy little Santa outfits. But Regina had already gained a fair bit of weight, so her skirt didn’t fit…”

“It fell off in the middle of the routine in front of everyone,” Janis cackles. Emma and Alyssa both look slightly scared of her. “Sorry. Personal vindication. But yeah, that was kind of the beginning of the end for her. Cady kind of… got lost in it, by that point. It was hard to tell if she was pretending or not.”

Cady looks down at her lap in shame, so Janis takes her hand under the table and kisses the side of her head a few times to comfort her. Damian keeps going with the story.

“So, Caddy basically overthrew Regina as Queen Bee of the school. She threw a little party and didn’t invite us or Regina, so she kind of was attacking both fronts. We got pretty mad and stopped associating with her, and Regina was obviously furious,” he says. “And so as revenge for that, Regina photocopied the Burn Book and spread all the pages around the school. I saw, like, seven fights before first period even started that day.”

“But didn’t they know that she had written it?” Trent asks.

“That’s the thing, she put herself in it,” Janis adds, now holding Cady on her lap. “So nobody suspected her. She went to the principal and blamed Gretchen and Karen, they’re the other two, and Cady.”

“I don’t like this story,” Barry whines. “Tell me something good happens.”

“Oh, just wait,�� Janis chuckles darkly. “There was an assembly called that day, and they tried to make us apologize to each other and do trust exercises or something like that. I kind of went rogue and only apologized to myself and rallied the rest of the girls in our grade.”

“Go Janis,” Angie says, sounding impressed. “Stick it to the man.”

“Thanks,” Janis laughs. “But it only lasted a few minutes.”

“Damn it,” Barry groans. “What happened?”

“Regina got hit by a bus,” Cady says. Angie spits her mouthful of lemonade over Trent.

“She what?”

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “So, that time kind of sucked for both of us. She was in the hospital recovering, and everyone was saying that I pushed her in front of it or that she jumped in front of it on purpose because of me.”

“She didn’t die?” Dee Dee clarifies. Everyone is more than a little concerned at the disappointment in her voice.

“No,” Cady chuckles. “Well, she died for, like, fifteen seconds, but she was resuscitated and she’s fine now.”

“And did you push her?” Barry asks. “We’re all friends here, you can tell us.”

“No!” Cady huffs. “I may have been a raging bitch, but I’m not an attempted murderer.”

“You didn’t feed anyone to a lion back in Kenya?” Janis teases gently.

“I’ll do it to you if you’re not careful,” Cady retaliates with a laugh. “Where did we leave off?”

“Regina got hit by a bus and you didn’t push her,” Trent says helpfully, still dabbing some lemonade out of his sweater with a wad of napkins.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Okay, so, I don’t… totally remember what happened in between that and Spring Fling, but it’s really not important.”

“I was suspended for the Book, that’s kind of it,” Cady says, gesturing for him to continue.

“Oh, yeah! Anyway, Spring Fling at our school is basically prom but for underclassmen, prom is just for the seniors. Jan and I were each other’s dates, she decorated our outfits and stuff, we looked killer if I do say so myself.”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and whacks him with an elbow.

“And Caddy was banned, so she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she showed up towards the end with the Mathletes,” Damian continues. “And she had been nominated for queen, and she won. So she went up on stage and gave the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard and broke her crown, and we all got a piece. So now we’re all friends and life is good.”

“Nice ending, Dame,” Janis laughs. “Hasty conclusions. But that it is basically how it happened.”

Everyone blinks at them. Trent says, “That was like being in a war zone. Just one bombshell after another.”

“It kinda was, our math teacher got stabbed in the leg at one point,” Cady hums. “Anyway, what’s your guys’ story? If you want to share.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d like to know more,” Damian says. “Jan and I really only know the bare bones. What was in the news, and stuff.”

“You guys can start,” Emma says, pulling a face as Alyssa gently dabs some syrup off her lip. Alyssa giggles when Emma tries to bite her hand and kisses Emma’s cheek.

“Ooh, okay!” Barry says eagerly. “We were in a show. Well, Dee Dee and I. We were in a delightful little show called Eleanor.”

“As in…” Janis says confusedly.

“Eleanor Roosevelt,” Dee Dee explains. She seems surprised when the kids all nod in understanding. “You’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah?” Cady says, tilting her head. “She’s one of the most famous first ladies of all time, we learned about her in our history class.”

“Not nearly enough,” Janis grumbles. “Gotta make time for the men.”

“Amen sister,” Angie huffs.

“Really…” Dee Dee hums interestedly. “Anyway, it was… not a success. Poor advance sales, and then…”

“We bombed opening night,” Barry grumbles. “Apparently. But it wasn’t the show, it was… it was us. The media panned us as aging narcissists and we had to close.”

“On opening night?” Damian gasps in horror. Dee Dee and Barry both nod sadly.

“Regretfully, yes. So, we had to try to change the narrative,” Dee Dee says. “We decided to find a good cause and do something. So we were going to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.”

“But Barry has a bad back,” Trent pipes up. “So then we thought about, like, recycling or fixing poverty or world hunger.”

“But that was all too much for us to handle,” Angie says. “So I went on Twitter and found-”

“Me!” Emma says. “Apparently that all happened on the same night as the first assembly where the PTA cancelled prom in the first place. I guess we were trending.”

“And they only cancelled it because you two wanted to go together?” Janis asks sadly.

“Yep. Well, nobody knew about Alyssa, but they cancelled it because they knew I wanted to bring my girlfriend,” Emma explains.

“Those bitches,” Janis grumbles. “Sorry.”

“Believe me, we get it,” Emma laughs. “But my bit of the story isn’t quite here yet.”

“Oh, yes!” Dee Dee realizes. “So, we decided to help Emma, but we were completely out of funds and had no way to get all the way to Indiana from New York.”

“But I had just booked a non-equity tour of Godspell,” Trent half-brags. The other half seems rather depressed at that statement. “So we came on the tour bus.”

“Can I start our part?” Alyssa asks. Emma nods and squeezes her hand under the table. “So, they obviously gave no indication that they were coming. Emma and Principal Hawkins had gone to the State’s Attorney by that point and put some legal pressure on the PTA, so we had another assembly to discuss options.”

“We?” Damian asks.

“Oh, my mom was the head of the PTA,” Alyssa says casually. Damian chokes on his drink and Janis nearly drops Cady on the ground.

“Your mom cancelled your prom?” Janis asks in shock. Alyssa nods sadly. “Oh, because you… she didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was. She knows now,” Alyssa hums. “Anyway, I was there to speak for student council. I was mid-sentence, and then they come barreling into the gym with signs and yelling at everyone.”

“Educating everyone,” Barry corrects. “Loudly and with signs.”

“Right, educating. Sorry,” Alyssa laughs. “So my mom totally loses her shit. It’s chaos. I think Trent had a cowbell at some point?”

Trent reaches into a messenger bag next to him and pulls out a cowbell, resting it on the table with a quiet thunk.

“You just keep that with you?” Janis chuckles.

“For emergencies,” Trent explains. “You’d be surprised.”

Janis tries to think of what emergencies she’s faced that would either be helped or solved with the addition of a cowbell, and surprisingly, she can think of a few.

“Of course he keeps it all the time,” Emma chuckles. “I don’t remember… most of what happened that time. But after a few days they announced that the prom was back on.”

“Because of you?” Damian asks, looking to the stars.

“No,” they all say at the same time Emma says, “I think so.”

Everyone looks her way. “I told you this at the time, but you guys really scared people! I think you at least had a part.”

“How sweet,” Dee Dee says. “Let’s say we had an ensemble part in getting it back on.”

That gets a chuckle from everyone at the table, before Barry continues with the story.

“I, obviously, had to take Emma shopping,” he says. “She only had one dress and it was… a travesty would be an understatement.”

“I’m honestly not sure where it came from,” Emma chuckles. “Just think Little House on the Prarie but somehow so much worse.”

“So we went to the mall, and found this lovely blue dress and some good shoes,” Barry says. Emma looks like she would disagree with his choice of adjectives, but nods. “Did her hair and makeup all fancy, and bought her a corsage.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “How sweet.”

“That part was fun,” Emma agrees fondly. “But…”

“When we got there,” Barry says. “Poor thing was so excited, but it was-it was just-“

Dee Dee continues for him, as Barry gets too emotional to keep going. “It was totally empty. Barry took Emma into the gym, and it was just horrific. There were barely any decorations, and they were just thrown up. I would be stunned if they spent more than ten dollars on the whole thing.”

“Oh god,” Damian says sadly. “I heard it was a fake, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It sucked,” Emma chuckles sardonically, trying not to get too heavy in the middle of an IHOP. “More than anything. I didn’t care about the decorations, I just… it was so lonely, you know? I realized then that so many people I thought cared about me just didn’t. So many people I thought were my friends, weren’t. I had never felt more alone.”

“It sounds awful,” Janis says.

“It was,” Emma mumbles. Alyssa takes her hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Emma looks up and gives her a sad but grateful grin.

“I was at the… other prom. The real one,” Alyssa continues, seeming ashamed. “I had no idea what they had done, everyone on student council and the PTA hid it from me too. Some of my friends had seen us together and realized I was the ‘secret girlfriend’ and were trying to break us up.”

“Which worked,” Emma admits sadly. “I called her to try to get her to come to my own personal prom so I could at least have her there, but her mom was at the real one with her and she couldn’t leave. And I just sort of… lost it. I hung up and we didn’t talk again for a week.”

“I never blamed you for that,” Alyssa murmurs gently. “You were still trying to process everything and I just added to it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Emma insists. “We can talk more later. Anyway. I ran out, obviously. And Angie actually came after me, which was nice. She just let me cry and didn’t make me do anything. Helped me get my makeup off and stuff. She even slept on my bedroom floor in case I needed something. It was kind of like having a mom there, which I really needed.”

“How fucking old-“ Angie begins, but Trent claps a hand over her mouth. Emma laughs and continues.

“And then the rest of them came by the next day even though I yelled at them,” she says.

“With ice cream!” Barry butts in. “That’s an important detail.”

“Oh yeah, they brought me Häagen Dazs,” Emma laughs. “It was cute. Especially because they thought I wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Can you blame us? You live in the most yeehaw hick town in Indiana,” Trent says. “And that’s saying something.”

“It’s not that bad,” Emma tuts. “Anyway, they brought ice cream and were trying to convince me to do something to bring more attention to what was happening. Dee Dee actually got me on a talk show at one point, but I knew I would never be able to do something like that.”

“You still owe me a house,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath. “But what she wound up doing was much better anyway.”

“The song?” Damian asks. Emma nods.

“I had it sort of in my head for a while, and I managed to piece it together in about a week,” she replies. “I was terrified, but it was just an overnight thing. I woke up the next day and it already had two million views.”

Alyssa squeezes her hand with a proud smile. “Half of them were me.”

“The other half were Damian,” Janis chuckles. “He made me watch it at lunch one day and we both watched it so many times we knew all the words by the next day.”

“Aww,” Emma says. “You guys are so sweet.”

“We try,” Janis and Damian say at the same time, locking eyes and glaring at each other once they notice. Cady giggles at their antics.

“Anyway,” Emma laughs. “I wasn’t expecting even that many, but people just kept watching, and then I started getting all these comments on it that were so precious. All these other queer kids all over the world sharing their stories too. Eventually it got back to Principal Hawkins and all of them, and they helped figure out how to set up an inclusive prom. And funded it, which was very helpful.”

“Yeah, helpful,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath.

“Once we saw where the money was going it was so worth it,” Barry says, gently kicking Dee Dee under the table. “It was beautiful.”

“It really was,” Emma agrees. “But god, it took forever to set up.”

“God, yeah,” Alyssa says. “Oh, and we got back together, like, as we were setting everything up, we forgot to mention that.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma says. “Her mom came when she heard what we were doing in the gym because we never got PTA approval-“

“So she was mad,” Alyssa butts in.

“Very mad,” Emma chuckles. “But you came with her and told her to stop talking, which was both hilarious and terrifying. And then you told me you loved me in front of everyone. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

“Me either,” Alyssa says quietly.

“Aww,” Cady says, even though she’s heard the whole story before. It’s always a good one to repeat. “How sweet.”

“So after that whole thing we finished setting everything up,” Emma continues, smiling at her girlfriend. “And it was beautiful, even I was impressed.”

“You looked so happy when everyone started showing up,” Alyssa says fondly. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You gave so many people an incredible night they wouldn’t have had without you.”

Emma flushes slightly and looks down at her lap. Alyssa squishes her cheeks in her hand to get her to look back up.

“It really was an incredible night,” she says. “And we finally got to dance together, I think that was my favorite part.”

“That was good,” Alyssa nods. “But you’re a terrible dancer.”

“Hey! Just because I didn’t take dance classes for years,” Emma pouts.

“Oh, hush, I’m joking,” Alyssa says, kissing Emma’s cheek.

“You missed,” Emma continues pouting. Alyssa frowns in confusion and kisses her cheek again, but in a different spot. “You missed.”

Alyssa gives her a chaste kiss on the lips this time, and Emma finally smiles. Alyssa rolls her eyes lovingly. “You’re such a dork, goodness gracious.”

“You guys are almost as cute as Caddy and Janis,” Damian says, trying to snap them out of it and get them to remember the presence of the group.

“Almost?” Alyssa says, her competitive side making a slight appearance. “I think you’re biased.”

“Oh, definitely,” Damian agrees. “We don’t really have any unbiased judges though.”

“True. We’ll say it’s a truce for now,” Alyssa says. “Are we all done? I need to get up for a bit. I’m stuffed.”

“I think so,” Cady says, looking around at all the empty plates around. “We could go to the beach for the sunset, if you guys want. It’s not too far a drive.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Emma says excitedly. The adults play rock paper scissors to work out payment, and Dee Dee grumbles under her breath when she loses.

“Hungry kids. Why are pancakes so expensive?”

————-

“Oh, guys, look!” Damian says, pointing to a window of a thrift shop nearby. “We could go try on dresses!”

“We?” Janis chuckles, carrying Cady on her back. “You gonna get into a ballgown, D?”

“Why not?” Damian asks. “I have the figure for it, shut up.”

“I thought we were going to the beach,” Angie says.

“We can do both,” Barry says, seeming strangely excited. “Wear dresses to the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Cady says eagerly, squeezing her legs together a bit to get Janis to go in, as if she’s riding a pony. “Please?”

“I am not paying,” Dee Dee says immediately. Everyone else nods, that’s only fair.

“Fine, fine. Come along,” Trent says, leading them into the shop as their gaggle of children follow like ducklings.

—-

The employees look a bit concerned as all nine of them parade to the discounted gown section and start looking for ones in their sizes. Damian finds his first, a royal purple gown with a high neck and a slit that would reach about to his knee. He takes it off the rack and heads over to the changing room, rapidly followed by Barry with his silver gown.

“How did-“ Emma stutters. “I guess they knew what they were looking for.”

Angie helps Trent find one that would fit him, an emerald green dress with long sleeves and a nice v-neck collar. He shrugs and follows Barry and Damian. Angie then moves on to find one of her own, and picks out a sleek black dress made of lace and with a shorter skirt, about to the knee. Dee Dee follows with one she seems to have grabbed at random, a nice yellow gown complete with a cape.

Alyssa picks a pink dress with a longer train, since she wore a short dress to both of her real proms and wants to experiment a little. Cady picks a yellow one, with longer sleeves and a bow in the back. The skirt is short, which makes her a little nervous, but she decides to give it a go.

Janis and Emma both look a bit lost, staring aimlessly at the racks and flicking through them weakly.

“Jayjay, try this one,” Cady says, offering a long, red, short-sleeved gown that looks like it would have a rather tight fit. Maybe Cady has some selfish motivations here, but she’ll never admit it. Janis raises a slightly suspicious eyebrow, but takes the dress and hauls her girlfriend off to the changing rooms.

“They all look so itchy,” Emma shudders slightly. Alyssa laughs and takes one of her hands.

“If you got one made of something like this it wouldn’t be too bad,” she says, showing Emma one made of an almost satin-like material. “And it’ll only be a couple hours at most. We’re going to the beach, sand is itchy anyway.”

“True,” Emma agrees with a little nod. “I like this one.”

“So try it,” Alyssa chuckles as Emma grabs an amethyst colored ballgown with a big poofy skirt. “Come on.”

Most of their group is waiting outside the rooms, clad in their ill fitting gowns. Trent’s is a bit too big, Barry’s is missing some sequins, and Angie’s has a small hole in the sleeve, but none of them complain.

Cady and Janis open the curtains to their respective rooms, revealing their dresses to one another. Janis is somehow not tall enough to fill her dress out, which makes her look a bit like Morticia Addams, but she doesn’t mind. Cady’s is almost perfect, but the skirt clings to her legs in an odd way.

“You look nice!” Cady says, gently adjusting Janis’ sleeve as Janis tugs at her collar.

“It’s a bit tight,” Janis says, sounding rather choked.

“I can fix that once we buy it,” Barry says, looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone looks at him in concern. “What? I have a stitch kit, I’ll just cut the collar off it.”

“Oh,” everyone says. Alyssa and Emma exit the changing rooms then, prompting coos from everyone.

“Emmy, you look beautiful!” Alyssa says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “The color really suits you.”

“Does it?” Emma says, sarcastically striking a pose. “It feels very… purple.”

“I like purple,” Alyssa hums, adjusting Emma’s skirt.

“You look really nice,” Emma replies, looking at Alyssa’s long dress. Hers is the closest to fitting correctly out of everyone’s.

“Thanks!” Alyssa says, putting her hands on her hips and popping out a knee. Emma laughs and kisses her gently.

“Okay, let’s go!” Angie says happily, having been taking pictures of everyone like a proud mom taking photos for her Facebook. Angie, Trent, and Barry split the cost among them, and they unleash their prom-ready selves onto the public.

—————-

“So you guys just graduated, right?” Alyssa asks, strolling down the shore holding hands with Emma. Cady and Janis are also hand in hand walking next to them.

“Yep!” Cady chirps.

“So you must’ve just had your senior prom too, what was yours like?”

“It was so fun! Damian took me shopping and I had the most beautiful dress,” Cady replies eagerly. “And Janis had a suit to match and it was… she looked… so hot.”

“Ooh,” Emma teases. “Scandalous.”

“Hey,” Cady says. “I’m allowed to think she’s hot.”

“Fair enough,” Emma shrugs.

“What about you guys, how are you handling your post-prom fame?” Janis jokes.

“Pretty well,” Emma chuckles. “Or at least I think we are.”

“You certainly are,” Alyssa murmurs.

“Oh yeah, aren’t you starting a nonprofit or something?” Cady asks.

“Wait, what?” Janis asks.

“I’m trying,” Emma laughs again. “Lyss’ mom is actually helping me. And trying to start a charity looks, like, super good on college applications, so that’s nice.”

“I thought your mom started this whole fiasco,” Janis says confusedly.

“Oh, she did,” Alyssa confirms. “But she’s cool with the gays now. She had a lot of questions and stuff, and she’s still having to work pretty hard at it. Changing opinions and thought patterns that were instilled in you from

childhood is tough. But she’s trying.”

“Yeah, she came to pride with us this year,” Emma says. “It was cute, she had a rainbow pantsuit and everything.”

“Go mom,” Janis chuckles. “I’m glad she turned things around.”

“Me too,” Alyssa murmurs quietly.

“Me three,” Emma says, squeezing her hand.

“So what’s this charity you’re getting going?” Cady asks.

“It’s called the Unruly Hearts Foundation,” Emma explains. “It’s a nonprofit that takes donations and stuff to throw other inclusive events around the country. Create safe spaces. And we also donate a fair bit to LGBTQ+ shelters and stuff, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Janis says. “I’m broke but I’ll donate a bit once I get my commissions business going.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Emma chuckles. “You know, we could use some branding. A logo, stuff for our website. If you’re interest-“

“Yes,” Janis interrupts. “I’m interested. Please.”

“Groovy,” Emma laughs. “I’ll be in touch, get Cady to give you my number.”

“You say groovy too?!” Damian asks eagerly as he makes an appearance. “These two always make fun of me for it.”

“Hell yeah I say groovy,” Emma says, giving Damian a fist bump. “Sometimes it’s the only word that fits the vibes, you know?”

“Yes!” Damian says. “See? Emma gets it.”

“I think ‘tits’ is pretty versatile,” Janis says. “You kind of look like Ursula, by the way, Dame.”

“Thanks,” Damian says, swishing his purple skirt around. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“It was,” Janis huffs. “As if I’d ever insult you.”

“You called me a ‘fucking deplorable kneecap’ on the way here,” Damian retaliates. Emma and Alyssa rode separately and burst out laughing.

“And now I have grown as a person. Developed myself.”

“It was ten minutes ago!”

“And? I’m not the same me I was two minutes ago, let alone ten,” Janis defends.

“Thank god,” Damian grumbles jokingly.

“Hey!” Janis says, breaking away from Cady and running after him. Damian shrieks and holds up his skirts to run away.

“Do we need to intervene here, Cades?” Emma asks with a slight chuckle as Damian and Janis sprint up and down the shoreline in a sort of oval.

“Nah,” Cady shrugs. “They do stuff like this about once a week. Janis knows she needs him, she won’t actually do anything.”

Just as she says that, Damian takes a hard left and runs full tilt into the lake. Janis pauses for a second before shrugging and running after him.

“Or maybe she will.”

“That water must be cold,” Alyssa chuckles in concern.

“Let’s find out!” Emma says boldly, tightening her grip on Alyssa’s hand and running them towards the water as well. Alyssa shrieks as they leap into the lake with a splash. Cady realizes she’s alone and also runs in, managing a cannonball into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Barry yells, walking up on a sort of puddle of teenagers in soaking wet dresses.

“They’re being kids, let them live,” Dee Dee says. “Unrelated, can you swim?”

“Yeah, wh- don’t you dare,” Barry says, turning to face her.

“Oh, I would never,” Dee Dee says, aghast at the mere suggestion. Trent then comes sprinting up and tackles Barry into the lake. “But he would.”

Angie cackles and high fives her. Dee Dee crosses her arms over her chest and smiles down as Barry pops back up with a splutter.

“Dee Dee Allen!” Barry demands. “Get your ass in here.”

“No, I don’t think I will, thank you,” Dee Dee says casually, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Oh come on,” Angie coaxes. “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t push him!”

“You had a role.”

Dee Dee ponders this for a moment before she begrudgingly reaches to take Angie’s hand, and they leap in together.

“Yay!” Emma cheers, delighted that all her friends made it into the lake one way or another. Some of them are significantly less happy about this, but everyone is laughing eventually.

“Hey, Caddy,” Janis says. She swims over to her girlfriend and kisses her gently, before booping her nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

Cady laughs as Janis swims away as fast as she can, rapidly followed by the rest of the group. Cady swims around for a second while she ponders her options to decide who to go after. Emma is a strong swimmer, being on her high school swim team and all. Alyssa is okay, but a bit weaker.

Barry seems to be the slowest, and gives her the best chance of success. He looks very anxious as Cady stares him down before lunging for him. He shrieks as Cady manages to snag his skirt and tap his arm under the water before she backstrokes away.

“Damn it,” he puffs. “I’m having elementary school flashbacks.”

“Better than middle school flashbacks,” Angie calls.

“Amen,” Janis says. She screams as Barry goes for her and swims away, huddling behind Damian for protection.

“Hey!” Damian whines, swimming away from her and creating a sort of three-way chase. Janis quickly gives up on Damian’s protection and swims to Cady instead.

“Protect me,” she pleads. Cady smiles as Janis hides behind her, peeking over her shoulder to check where the threat is.

“You’re so cute.”

“No I’m not,” Janis pouts. “I’m being stealthy.”

“Uhhuh,” Cady says as Janis clings to her like a precious little octopus. “If you get me tagged again I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s fair,” Janis agrees with a shrug. Alyssa suddenly gives a shriek as Barry taps her leg under the water. “Uh oh.”

————-

After an hour or so of tag, the sun begins to set for the day. The water temperature plummets and everyone swims to shore to watch the sky be painted beautiful shades of pink and orange and purple. The adults and Damian head back to the car to go hunt for towels and dry clothes somewhere.

But Cady, Janis, Emma and Alyssa stay behind, deciding they don’t mind so much if they’re in heavy, cold dresses and getting covered in itchy sand. Cady holds Janis on her lap and Alyssa has Emma in hers, all of them staring out over the expanse of the water before them together.

“You guys should visit more often,” Cady says quietly as the first stars begin to make an appearance.

“Absolutely,” Alyssa says, looking down at her girlfriend. “This was an awesome day.”

“And we’ll have more,” Emma says.

Together.

—-

thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years

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DaveFarts - Episode 11 “VoiceFarting” [Episode List] Tim and Adam are hanging out on... Liscord, playing some stuff together, waiting for Dave to join them for a game. When Adam unexpectedly has to leave however, Dave decides to do some… microphone testing.

VoiceFarting

“I’m going in as a mage ‘cause you fuckers can’t cast for shit” I heard Adam say right into my ears.

This was one of our usual game nights. We’d voice chat on Liscord on our own server and all that stuff. Adam was being, for the lack of a better term, kind of bitchy, ‘cause he thinks as himself as the most skilled gamer around even though we’re always reviving his ass. In the end it’s all in good fun of course, but we’d all happily mute him during a match if we could.

“Yes, Adam. Have fun with the ‘easy mode’ character.” I said, deliberately baiting him.

“Listen here you little shit” he immediately blurted “I can accept that you’re gay but I’m not going to accept the fact that you’re a scrub.” he said, obviously joking, though he did take skills seriously during a match.

“Yeah yeah but I’m the one using the axe, fighting enemies face-to-face like a man.” I kept teasing him. “How’s going up there? Still casting light arrows from your safe space?” I cackled.

“Excuse me???” his icon lighting up, the audio clipping “Why don’t we check your stats instead? Too afraid of looking like the scrub you are??? I literally made no mistakes last time.”

“Of course you didn’t: the chance of making mistakes is like 0% when you stand still and far from the battle.”

There was a moment of silence, then I heard Adam’s breath into the mic “You know I know where you live, right?”

I laughed but before I could continue this very deep and mature battle of wits, we both heard the sound notifying us that our bud Dave joined the voice chat. Now, whenever Dave joins, we usually hear every sound except for his voice, so we were ready to have our ears busted because of the noi-

“Hey noobs!” Dave greeted us, with a voice that was instead crystal clear.

“What the hell” both me and Adam said, our avatars lighting up at the same time.

“I see you noticed that you can now hear my beautiful voice perfectly.” he bragged, and rightfully so.

Normally we could hear his PC’s fans, what was going on down the street, cars passing by, atoms crashing into each others… farts. But now it was just Dave with his now-soothing voice calling us names.

“Are you finished?” Adam said.

But there was no response from Dave.

“Did he finally die?” Adam continued.

I heard a faint sigh of relief from Dave and then he went “Yeah, now I’m finished.”

I kind of suspected what happened but I didn’t say a word.

“Wait. You didn’t hear a thing?” Dave asked, puzzled.

Both me and Adam shrugged as if he could see us, but then said that no, we didn’t.

My detective skills told me that my gassy straight bud ripped one of his classic loud farts, but the new microphone had that “background noise reduction” feature (which my friend seriously needed) so it didn’t register his ass-blast as the old one usually did, so much so that Dave’s frequent farts would eventually turn into white noise for the rest of us. But now, his new headset was actually worth the price and all we could hear was indeed his voice.

“Can we just get into the game befo-“ Adam blurted, but was cut off mid-sentence by a loud, ear-piercing sound coming from Dave, though that wasn’t him speaking or screaming.

My fartbro really didn’t want us to miss what his ass is capable of, so we were both startled by a powerful, audio-clipping fart that completely overwhelmed our voice begging him to stop. And he did stop, but only after like 12 seconds. The rip was followed by the sound of Dave re-adjusting his microphone and laughing. “Hopefully you heard that now.” he chuckled.

I did hear it. I was very familiar with it. Truth is that Dave farting during our game sessions wasn’t anything new however. Even I was used to it, though that did pitch a tent in my shorts. I started wondering whether Dave was in jeans, shorts or boxers. Probably the latter, and shirtless, given that it was a warm evening. I tried to not to let my usual simp-ness over my bro take over me but apparently it was already too late, as I didn’t even notice Adam begin pissed off about an unwanted phone call.

“I’m sorry guys, I gotta take this one.” he said, annoyed. “Do not wait for me. Cya tomorrow I guess.”

And logged off, another sound notifying us that he went into the terrible real world realm.

“Alone at last, bro.” Dave said, in a flirty tone, just as Adam left.

I laughed and mindlessly switched to a different, this time single-player game as we needed at least 3 guys to play, one of those brutal action games that I suck at but I have to beat.

Dave did the same, with a similar game, and we both started gaming on our own but keeping each other company, like we usually do, occasionally exchanging opinions on what we were playing and so on.

“It’s probably his ex-girlfriend” Dave said.

“Yeah. I figured.” I simply answered.

Adam wasn’t really talkative about his personal stuff like me or even Dave, so neither us really knew what was going on. But if our bud didn’t want us to know, not fully know at least, then we respect this decision.

After a couple of more minutes of silence, I heard some sounds coming from Dave. Not a fart, this time though.

“Did you say something?” I asked.

I heard some muffled noises and then Dave’s voice, lower than usual though “I’m just messing with the settings here. I feel like sometimes the volume gets messed up.” and he was right.

“Yeah the audio is kind of low now.” I warned him.

I heard some more noises (keyboard tapping, mouse clicking, etc.) and then I heard him speak again.

Or, to be more precise, he did make a sound with his mouth, though those weren’t words; a loud belch, actually, right into my ears. Dave was more of a farter, but he wasn’t new to wild, incredible burps. I honestly prefer the more disgusting butt explosion, but I still tip my hat at my bro being a masterful air-bender from both ends.

“Yes, I did hear that.” I said, anticipating his question.

He laughed. “Thank you.” he answered, belching both word with care.

A couples of minutes of silence followed, with just me and Dave occasionally chatting but overall trying to be focused on our respective games. My straight bro was however not done with the “testing”.

“Are you hearing this bro?” he suddenly asked, trying not to laugh.

“No…?” I was puzzled.

“Wait. Let me just…”

I heard Dave removing his headset and as it got farther away from his head, a familiar sound got louder and louder instead, until it became unbearable.

“Are you hearing this now?” he shouted, though I could heard him over that sound.

The sound of yet another loud blast of gas, so loud it was glitching the audio. It was long and proud, dry as some of his best rips, and it just wouldn’t stop. The boss I was fighting somehow felt how distracted I was and one-shotted me with a swipe of his flaming sword but I couldn’t even hear any in-game sound ‘cause my straight gassy bro was basically farting right into my ears, albeit indirectly.

I instinctively reached for the pitched tent between my legs as the fart kept going strong and loud, so loud in fact that I had to lower the volume ‘cause my hears were starting to hurt.

After a grand total of 18 seconds, I once again heard Dave putting his headphones back on his head, wondering whether they were radioactive or melting at this point, due to all that poisonous gas.

“I gotta say… the sound quality is pretty spot-on. What headset are you using?” I joked.

Dave chuckled. “The same as yours actually. Thanks for the advice.”

We kept chatting a bit more as if he wasn’t a gassy teasing bastard but since he *is* a gassy teasing bastard I once again heard him, with no warning nor request from me, removing his headphones again and putting them (I assume) closer to the source of his underwear-clad ass.

Unsurprisingly, yet another manly, loud rip blasted through my own headphones right into my eardrums, renewing the hard-on I had only moments before. It sounded like a motorcycle passing by and I could only imagine how badly the stench was in Dave’s room. Lasting around 11 seconds, this time it got dangerously wet-ish towards the end, which I found hilarious but also made me rightfully worried about my bro maybe going a bit too far even for both of our standards.

“Dude.” I said, laughing a bit “You might want to go easy. That sounded risky.”

Dave, being the chill guy he is, just laughed about it. “Don’t worry, dude. I’m an expert.” and he ripped a short toot that was so loud I could even hear it without the microphone going straight into his butt this time.

We then kept gaming a bit more on our own. Dying over and over to that same boss made me think about how chill Dave was being -as usual- about my kink. I mean don’t get me wrong he always farted a lot while voice chatting but this time it was different, as he was now aware of my fetish. And, as always, I really appreciated that, just as I appreciated yet another thunderous blast, one that actually startled me, making me lose YET AGAIN.

“FUCK!” I blurted.

As the fart kept going, Dave moved the microphone closer to his face (but I still could hear the fart going) just to laugh at my gaming skills, completely aware however that his farts were a huge distraction on its own. He then planted the microphone once again in front of his butt and the blast went loud and proud.

“It’s just too easy.” he then chuckled, after finishing ripping that monstrous fart.

It was. I had to pause the game for a couple of minutes to calm down, the tent between my legs going harder and harder. Was Dave aware of this part as well? Of course he was, but he didn’t care. It was just a game for him, and he was constantly proving me how much of a pro gamer he was.

I hope he never gets nerfed.

End of Episode 11

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

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thiscastielhasflown · 3 years

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day three of day two of j&kcreatorfest (with @expectingtofly)— prompts: movie night or baking dean just wants to watch brokeback mountain in peace and cas is there to enjoy the emotional roller coaster ride. (2.1k) [does contain spoilers of the movie's plot, you have been warned]

"Okay choose — Midnight Cowboy or Brokeback Mountain?"

Cas looks directly at Dean who is standing in front of him holding two DVDs and smiling wide with eagerness. To celebrate and commemorate their first Pride Month official out together, both collectively decided to watch a different LGBTQ+ themed movie every night during June (if at all possible).

Rather than the Winchester/Leahy family's normal Tuesday night movie routine, Sam and Eileen were more than willing to change up their usual viewing schedule — even helping to prepare and order movies unavailable to be streamed. But sadly this night coincided with their short weekend getaway trip up to Donna's cabin for a needed change in scenery from the bleak walls of the bunker. No matter how good the movie choice was going to be for those nights, nothing compares to either couple getting some alone time together.

Cas and Dean are left alone to watch a movie in the newly renovated 'Dean Cave' — now including a larger sectional couch (to fit everyone more comfortably), an LED monogrammed neon light of Dean's nickname from Cas, 'Titan', along with new pictures hung up from a recent family photoshoot, and a new stereo sound system all set up by Dean earlier that day.

While Dean was busy with that, Cas was in the kitchen trying out a homemade sourdough pretzel dough recipe — made with his own fermented starter — along with a batch of double-chocolate chunk brownies with lines of caramel crisscrossing across the top as their movie viewing snack for the night.

"I thought we were watching the Trixie Mattel documentary."

"I know we agreed on that, but I'm more into a gay cowboy sort of mood tonight. You feel me?"

Cas blinks, "I haven't felt you yet."

"Cas, it's a figure of speech. Stay on track. Which one do you want to watch?"

"Isn't Trixie a gay Western icon as anyway?"

Dean hesitates, "Well, I would say not exactly. Maybe because of her music style and love for Dolly—"

"Parton, we've listened to her music before," Cas interrupts.

Dean smiles, "Yes we have. We've listened to Trixie too. So I guess it depends on who you ask if they’d categorize her as a modern gay Western icon in the drag business. We're sidetracked, please just pick one."

"Okay, sorry. How about the one with the happier ending."

Dean pauses to think, "I don't think either end up happy."

"Then the one where someone doesn't die."

Dean pauses again, "I...do believe someone dies in both of them."

"Then what are the differences?"

"To be honest, there really aren't that many," Dean laughs it off, "They both take place within the same 1960s setting, even though Brokeback was made in 2004. There are two main male characters in both, who aren't close in the beginning but end up so by the end. Um. The biggest difference is that Brokeback actually takes place in Western-type locations, where Midnight Cowboy setting is in New York. Is any of this helping in your decision process?"

"To be honest, not really," Cas stands up from the couch and adjusts his shirt, "Well, you go ahead and make the final decision, okay? Let me go grab the pretzels and brownies from the kitchen while you get it set up. Want a beer?"

"Yes, please. Can you bring extra cheese sauce too?" Dean answers.

"Of course, nacho or cheddar?"

A sparkle glazes over Dean's eyes as he looks at Cas, a smirk making its way across his lips, "How about both?"

"Sure can," Cas leans in to give Dean a kiss on the cheek, brushing his hand up against the other man's shoulder, "Be right back."

Dean watches Cas walk out of the room with a smug look on his face, admiring his love before bending down in front of the TV console and turning on the DVD player to give it time to boot up. He looks back and forth between either movie case, still unable to pick one over the other. Sighing, he ends up picking Brokeback Mountain, knowing deep down that Cas would most likely end up enjoy watching it more.

As he stands back up holding the DVD player remote in his hand, he hears the sound of Cas walking down in the hallway near the mancave’s door. They've been together so long at this point, but even the slightest presence of Cas will still make a butterfly giddiness erupt inside of Dean.

"Right on time as always," Dean puts down the remote after pushing 'play', grabbing the plate and beer held out to him by Cas.

He holds it up to his nose and breathes in the mingling smells of delicious food, "You really outdid yourself on this one."

Cas blushes from the compliment before pulling his own plate closer to him, breaking off a piece of the brownie and slipping it into his mouth, "Glad to know you approve."

Dean winks and takes a bite of his own, letting out a tiny moan of satisfaction from the taste, "Did you put sea salt in this?"

"I'm surprised you noticed, it was one of my secret ingredients I added in. Thought it would go well with the caramel."

"Your intuition was right, this is delicious," Dean takes another large bite and lets the flavors melt over his tongue.

At this point in the movie, Jack and Ennis sit at the bar drinking together, getting the chance to have the last bit of freedom before heading up to the mountain to work. This reminds Dean of the many times he's shared a drink with Cas before they assumed the worst would happen, losing each other. Yet those moments have now become ones he'll never forget.

The soft touch of a hand against his face pulls Dean's eyeline from the movie, Cas reeling him into a deep kiss, their lips melding into each other creating a familiar yet comfortable feeling.

Before letting anything escalate Dean pulls back and faces his head back towards the TV, reaching up to wipe off his bottom lip softly, "Watch the movie, you're going to miss a good part."

Cas pulls away and pouts, giving him one last peck on the neck before returning fully to the boundaries of his seat.

Dean turns his head back again to Cas and reaches out for his hand, weaving their fingers together, "Hey don't do that, all I wanna do is watch the movie. We can do plenty of that later."

"Fine, fine," Cas mocks, grabbing a piece of the soft pretzel and dips it in the cheese, shoving it in his mouth with a hint of annoyance.

They manage to in silence to watch the movie a little longer before Cas speaks up again, "So...what exactly is going on?"

Dean clears his throat, "Well, Jack and Ennis got their orders to go up to the mountain to go work with the sheep and they're still trying to get used to each other. Testing out the ropes, trying to work together as a team."

"Are you sure they fall in love? They definitely don't very seem into each other at the moment."

Dean takes a sip of his beer, "Love happens in mysterious ways Cas, just like us. It is never as easy as we think, especially when two people don't really get along, to begin with."

"We got along just fine, what are you talking about?"

The only thing Dean does when he hears Cas make that statement is laugh, downing another large gulp of his beer.

Cas tilts his head, "Why are you laughing?"

"Your memory must be skewed now that you're human. Don't you remember threatening my life multiple times? Trust me, you and Uriel were a couple of dicks for the majority of that early time."

"I've changed a lot since then."

Dean smiles and squeezes Cas' hand, "We've both changed a lot. Us, being here like this, is the ending we both deserve. For them, it was much harder of a situation. Their free will isn't as fluid as the ones we take for granted."

"You're not telling me—" Cas sits back with wide eyes, trying to formulate the future plot points in his head.

"I'm not going to spoil anything from the movie, you're going to have to watch it yourself to find out yourself," Dean mimics zipping his lips and turning a key to lock it, "My lips are sealed.”

A sudden vibration erupts from Dean's back, shoving his hand into it and pulling out his phone to see Sam's picture contact picture lit up (from a drunken Halloween night dressed up in a Chewbacca costume, minus the head, with a herbal cigarette dangling between his lips), swiping to answer, "Hey Sammy, what's going on?"

"Hey-uh-hi, are you busy right now?" Sam asks in a mildly frantic tone of voice over the phone.

"Well—" Dean signals to Cas to pause the movie, "It is movie night like you know, but I can talk. Everything going okay?"

"No, yeah, everything is fine. Do you know how to treat a spider bite?"

Dean coughs slightly in surprise, "Are you telling me you already managed to get a spider bite?"

Cas, overhearing the conversation holds a hand up to his mouth to help suppress the giggling he's unable to prevent himself from doing.

"Yeah, um, neither Eileen and I can remember if it's supposed to be a cold or warm compress."

Dean shakes his head and lets out a chuckle, "Did you just drunkenly call me, to ask me, how to treat a spider bite less than 24 hours after leaving here?"

"Yes Dean, do you have the answer or not?"

"Go get some ice and makeshift ice pack. For the swelling. Any other questions?"

Sam pauses not answering right away, Dean hears the sound of rustling and clanking of ice in the background, "No that should be it. Thank you."

"Yep, you're welcome. Bye," Dean hangs up before Sam can say anything else.

"I'm sorry for all of the distractions tonight Dean, I really am. I know how much you wanted to watch this movie," Cas puts a hand on his shoulder, slightly massaging at the tense muscle underneath Dean's favorite Led Zeppelin shirt.

"It's fine Cas, we can stop the movie if you want. Maybe pick it back up tomorrow?"

"Why can't we continue watching it? If we have to pause again, then we pause again. Anyway, you have me interested in learning what will happen.”

“Alright, we’ll continue.”

Thankfully, no one else bothers them for the rest of the movie. Even when Cas was confused in certain sections, he reminded quiet and attentively watched, quickly becoming attached to the characters and the blossoming (and losing) love between them. When the credits begin to roll, Dean looks over to see Cas crying, tears streaming down his face, and biting on his bottom lip to possibly contain his emotions.

"Cas, what's wrong?"

"The jacket...Jack was the one who took the jacket that Ennis thought he forget on the mountain. He took it and kept it for all those years. And now...with Jack gone..." Cas leans in towards Dean, who wraps his arms around his shoulder in comfort, pressing little kisses on the top of his head. He lets Cas cry, holding onto him tight.

When Cas feels ready enough to pull away, Dean reaches up to wipe the tears from his cheeks, "What’s wrong Cas?"

"It just reminds me of us. When you kept my coat, the symbolism of keeping an article of clothing when your loved one is gone. In this case—" Cas sucks in a deep breath, bottom lip quivering, "Ennis lost Jack, his soulmate. But no matter how many times you've lost me, I've always come back. I wish that could have been the same for them."

"Oh, babe..." Dean pulls Cas into a kiss, strong and supportive, "They got to share their love while they could, and even though things could have been different, that was the ending destined for the."

"Why couldn’t they have ended up together?"

"Just how their cards were played, nothing we can change about it.”

Cas sighs, rubbing away his remaining leftover tears, "This really is a goddamn bitch of a unsatisfactory situation."

Dean can't help himself from laugh out of happiness, "That was a pretty good usage of that phrase, glad to know you picked up on it."

"Oh, it's going to be my go-to now, along with 'I wish I knew how to quit you’."

"Sounds to me like you liked the movie. Well, I do have an idea," Dean stands up from the couch and reaches for Cas' hand, pulling him up to a standing position, "How about we go start something? Sound good to you?"

#j&kcreatorfest #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #i know this is late don't just me #i'm positing it anyway #this goes out to all of the drag queen brokeback mountain fans out there #hopefully i have hit a niche audience #jace is typing...

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

#danny phantom #sanchoyorambles #s1 is only 20 eps?#i can probably #finish within a week #i like binging shows asdf #ive been watching it all night #gonna work out now #dp thoughts

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the-dc-killjoy · 3 years

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4x12 - Old Souls

Wynonna Earp's over. I'll do pretty much anything to get another season, but shows (not that I think that this show could ever get to that point. id still love WE even if it turned into whatever Grey's Anatomy's doing rn) shouldn't overstay their welcome. If this is the end, than it was a damn fine ending!

The cute.

I've been watching Martina sing since I was 11 years old, and it still puts a smile on my face. Rachel was iconic as always, and I'm gonna miss the most recent addition to the Earp family. I can just imagine the chaos of her, her not really but kind of boyfriend, and Randy Nedley on a tiny boat in the middle of nowhere. Poor Nedley. Let's hope Chrissy remains the only one of his many daughter figures to catch mono.

Speaking of mononucleosis- that's such an awful transition that i'm keeping it, I believe that Wayhaught has officially christened the entire homestead. Bedroom, The Stairs, kitchen floor, barn- short of just going to pound town (i'm not getting any better with sex references tonight. am i) in a patch of grass outside, they've got everything covered. Or nothing covered if you know what i mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Am I getting better now?

The random.

Nedley walking Nicole down the isle, Wynonna walking Waverly down the isle, Doc being Waverly's best man, and Wynonna being Nicole's best friend (no she will not take a secondary title. best friend will go on her tombstone)- sigh, i'm so gay. i can't really explain what that has to do with these circumstances, but i am and this makes me happy. Rachel and Nedley (and Billy was there somewhere right?) being the only people in attendance made this the perfect pandemic wedding even though there wasn't actually a pandemic in Earp land. I was the living embodiment of the pleading face emoji when they panned over the chairs. Doll's chair hurt me. like deeply. like i'm still suffering. there aren't words. fuck, i miss him.

On a lighter note, Waverly said fuck (like eight times)!!! She technically said it already, but chainsmoking-angelic possession doesn't count, right?

I'm glad that Jeremy has this new thing with Damon, but I kinda wish things had worked out with him and Robin. He officiated a wedding, got promoted, and got a handsome date in one afternoon, so I can't be too sad about his adorable self.

Charlotte Sullivan, the jilted dress shop owner/witch, played one of the earliest (in my knowledge at least. this show was my brother's thing not mine) representation of a bi woman in Canadian media. I don't know too much about her Rookie Blue character, but if you can have tolerated the will-they-wont-they, end of the world romance of the main character's kinda mediocre relationships for a couple more seasons, I'm sure you'll find out! By the nature of Canada having 16.87 actors in total, I tend to see a lot of overlap, and I have to infodump about that somewhere. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Earping callbacks! Wynonna's truck, her motorcycle, the bullet proof vest, Nedley and Nicole's father-daughter thing, Waverly never saying the f-word (and subverting that), i'm all in, even Rachel always being stuck with juice while the adults are drinking- perfect! We had a little bit of the usual supernatural insanity, but this episode was wall to wall fanservice, and it was perfectly in-character fanservice. That's the way to go! It didn't feel forced or awkward and the edited mailbox will make me tear up on rewatch

The relationship. (aka i wanna talk about wyndoc and had no outline when i started this thing)

The Wyndoc goodbye was beautiful. I'm not into the whole you need one person to complete you kinda thing, but the implication that it didn't have to be romantic (implying that Wynonna's person was Waverly) was great. I felt that the scene worked perfectly, and might have been fine leaving it there if there was another season clearly on the horizon. With the fact that this was the series finale (i sighed so hard typing that. my poor lungs), I'm glad that they got their own happy ending.

The analysis.

Nicole's and Wynonna's as individual characters mirror each other in so many ways, but I'm just gonna wax poetic about one: their relationship with the GRT. Wynonna was hurt by the town, badly. She grew up with a steady stream of shitty adults and a few who told her to shake the demons out of her head and embraced the tough love mantra. It made a lot of sense that she left as an adult. Waverly was most likely the only reason she didn't skip town before that.

Nicole had a negative integer of adult role models in her life, with the murdered aunt and uncle and the whatever-the-fuck her parents were trying to be. Sure, a little trip to the Ghost River Triangle left her with trauma that she spent a lifetime repressing, but what's a little surviving a massacre under the six year old girl bridge. Am I right?

In their early lives, these characters had nothing but negative experiences in the aptly named town of Purgatory. Wynonna was drawn back into town by Curtis' letter just in time for her 27th birthday, and Nedley applied for Nicole to start working as a cop. Neither of them directly chose to come back to the Ghost River Triangle, but both of them did have the final say.

Wynonna decided pretty early on that she was going to stay no matter what. She already abandoned her sister once. How could she do it again with all of these monsters lurking in the shadows. As time went on, her circle of people expanded, but Waverly has always been the person that fight through hell and high water for. Even when fighting wasn't necessary, when it hurt her much more than it helped anything, she did it anyways because it was the only thing she could do to protect her sister. Wynonna thought it was the only thing she could do at all. This entire season, she's been fighting a war with herself, and her leaving, Waverly telling her that it was okay to leave, was the first time that took a break, took a breath since she arrived in Purgatory on her 27th birthday. Her child and the man she loves are out in the world, but she will be back with them at her side. Maybe after a quick road trip, maybe after a few years, but she will be back.

Nicole spent a majority of season 1 and 2 feeling like an outsider. Season 3 came with the realization that these people were her family and the Ghost River Triangle was her home. Early season 4 kinda shat all over that, oops. The rest of this season has been her finding her footing again. Nicole was a wandering soul, but she voluntarily staked herself to the land, vowing to protect it and the people within its borders for the rest of her life without the ability to leave, and she doesn't regret it. Her wife, her family, her people are all in this one not-so-sleepy Canadian town.

Nicole found her place, after a lifetime of searching, and Wynonna left, temporarily, after a lifetime of feeling trapped. They might seem like opposites, but both women call the same place home.

Originally, I watched this show was to cope with the ending of Agents of SHIELD (which I kind of used to cope with the ending of Killjoys, which featured Emily Andras as a writer in season 1 and has near identical humor, found family, and a healthy serving of gay and wow this is turning into a bit of advertisement isn't it), but it wormed its way into my heart. I've never quite seen a show like this. Never seemed interested in a western, even a sci-fi western. Never saw the gay couple reach OTP status both in fandom and canon. I've never seen so many fan conventions dedicated to just one show. I usually stay for just one character (and Wynonna has become one of my all time favorite characters), but I find myself connecting with so many of the beautiful people being brought to life on my screen. Wynonna, Waverly, Nicole, Rachel, Dolls, Jeremy, Doc, Nedley and so many other hilarious and heartbreaking characters make this show, and every single human who played a part in this self-proclaimed shitshow deserves a round of applause and a swig of whiskey.

The end.

#wynonna earp #wynonna earp spoilers #wynonna earp season 4 spoilers #wearp meta #wyn #waverly earp #nicole haught #doc holliday #rachel valdez #jeremy chetri #randy nedley #my thoughts #i'll add screen caps in the morning #goodbye my beautiful fuck ups #guess i have to combine my emily andras and michelle lovretta obsessions into watching lost girl #im sad tonight #satisfied with this ending #but still damn sad

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atmilliways · 4 years

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On the 2nd day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee…

Dec 14 - Kissing under the mistletoe (or office party shenanigans)

Charles gets roped into the role of Santa Clause at the holiday office party.

Charles/Pickles

The dreaded Dethklok Inc. office Christmas party was coming up—dreaded not by the band or most of the employees, who typically had a blast, but by the CFO who had to arrange and organize everything before and after, up to and including the inevitable handful of resulting funeral arrangements.

Charles was looking forward to it even less than usual, because the band had thrown an absolute shitfit to get him to agree to play Santa this year. He didn’t know why they wanted him to do this. The party didn’t even normally have a Santa. His first thought was that it was Toki’s idea, but on second thought Toki tended to lack the charisma to get the rest of the guys to throw in with him on niche interests like that.

But fine. Whatever. He’d agreed to do it once, and next year he could simply point to whatever came of it this year as an argument against repeating the experience.

He kept telling himself that right up until donning the red and white Santa suit, the iconic hat, and the fake beard. (The damn thing was so big that practically all he could see of his own face in the mirror were his eyes. At least they were letting him keep his glasses.) Then he took his seat in a throne-like chair that had been special ordered for the occasion, specially decorated with carvings of presents, the most unsettling depictions of Christmas elves that he’d ever seen, and skulls with real candles balanced on them, lit and already beginning to dribble red and black wax . . . and immediately felt that somewhere in life he must have made a grave, grave mistake to have ended up here.

The band took the stage in the center of the hall, half the room away from where Charles sat, and went into a jumbled “Merry Christmas, go fuck yourselves!” sort of speech. He mostly tuned it out until—

“And hey, errybody,” Pickles slurred into his mic, “don’t ferget ta sit on Santa’s lap and tell ‘im what you want fer Christmas!”

That had not been part of the discussion, let alone the agreement, but at this point what was he going to do about it? Besides hope that grown men and women hired for their professional abilities would have no interest in sitting on the lap of the man who signed their paychecks.

“You can’t have a pony,” Charles said flatly. “There isn’t space for one in the employee barracks, and even if there were it would be both impractical and unsanitary.”

The Klokateer perched on his lap, crushing the feeling out of his legs, tittered and took another sip of his holiday punch through a straw poked up under his mask. “Oo-kay Mr. Grinchy-claus, no pony for me then. Aren’tcha going to say ‘ho ho ho, Merry Christmas’?”

“Ho ho ho. Now go away.”

Laughing drunkenly, the man lurched up and made his way off the Santa podium to get a refill of punch. The next Klokateer in line had an Online Division pin on one shoulder and a spiked eggnog in her hand. Charles braced himself for yet another request for fewer blocks on searching for porn using company computers.

“Hey look, it’sch Schanty Clausche!”

Charles grimaced behind his beard. “Hello, Murderface.”

The first of the boys to visit him, Murderface seemed to be in unusually high spirits. His ass landed on Charles’ knees like a ton of bricks. “Wow,” he crooned with exaggerated delight, “Schanta really does know all the namesch of the good little boysch and girlsch!”

“Very funny. Would you mind telling me whose idea this was?”

The bassist shook his head. “Hey man, I’m not here to narc on my bandmatesch, I’m here to tell Schanta what I want for Chrischtmasch. ”

“Alright. Fine. What would you like for Christmas.”

Murderface looked around furtively, then leaned in and whispered, “A dischguische kit.”

“A . . . disguise kit.”

“Yeah! I’m tired of being mobbed whenever I go out in public, scho I need it. For camouflasche. ”

Charles couldn’t remember a single incident of a fan mob forming for just Murderface; it only ever seemed to happen when one or more of the other band members were with him, though there were probably a few people who did wander up and ask for an autograph. There had been one unfortunately memorable band meeting a few months ago where Murderface had bragged about someone wanting to touch his penis for good luck, pleased at the recognition but at the same time calling said fan an ‘incredibly fucking gay regular jackoff.’

“I’ll, ah, make sure that’s added to the list,” Charles assured him, and breathed a sigh of relief when Murderface nodded in satisfaction and stood to leave.

“Hey, knock knock.”

Charles sighed from the depths of his soul at this second Dethklok visitation. “Who’s there.”

“Nathan Explosion,” said Nathan Explosion, dropping unceremoniously onto his lap.

Luckily, the beard hid Charles’ wince at the impact. He was probably going to have a lot of weird leg bruises tomorrow. “Nathan Explosion who.”

“Nathan Explosion, here to tell you you’re the party ho ho ho! ” Nathan broke into riotous laughter and clapped Charles good-naturedly on the back, causing him to accidentally inhale a mouthful of fake beard.

After a moment to catch his breath, Charles nodded along. “Very amusing. What would you, ah, like for Christmas, Nathan?”

“I need new pants.”

Well, that was unexpectedly straightforward. “New pants. You got it.”

“One hundred pairs. Exactly one hundred.”

“Okay.”

“Just, uh. A couple inches bigger in the waist. For the holiday weight that I am definitely going to lose in January.”

He couldn’t feel his legs; this was not the time to point out that Nathan wouldn’t have time to wear all one hundred pairs of new pants between December 25th and the start of January, nor that January as a deadline for such a drastic fitness undertaking was probably an unrealistic deadline.

“That’s fine, Nathan. One hundred pairs of pants. I’ll make sure, the, ah, elves get the message.” Maybe he would throw in some math flash cards while he was at it.

Toki weighed less than the first two, but was unfortunately so excited that he landed on Charles’ lap hard . Definitely, definitely going to have bruises.

“God Jul, Charles —I means Santa!” the guitarist chirped, bright-eyed and swaying slightly. Charles fervently hoped he wasn’t about to throw up; he didn’t even think being covered in vomit would do much to get him out of this holiday circle of hell. “Merries Christmas!!”

“Merry Christmas to you too, Toki. What do you, ah, want to ask Santa for this year?”

He didn’t have a watch, but he estimated that Toki’s list, plus miscellaneous excited chatter, took at least half an hour and mentioned many things he knew for a fact that Toki already owned.

“Eeuyghh, looks, it ams everys-ones favorites butler,” Skwisgaar said, then folded himself gracefully into a sitting position. After an hour or two of being sat on like this and having plenty to compare it to, Charles wondered if the man was eating enough.

This was in spite of the fact that Skwisgaar was toting around a small plate loaded with various cheeses, fruit, and greasy finger sausages skewered on toothpicks. Party food. To Charles, who hadn’t realized that this gig would take so long and therefore hadn’t eaten in advance, it smelled wonderful.

The Swede must have noticed him eyeing it, or perhaps heard the growl of his stomach over the noise of the surrounding party somehow, because he smirked and held it out in offering. “Pickle says for you to haves this. Gots to keep yous strengths up, you knows.”

Pickles, Charles noted as he balanced the plate off to one side on one of the less obvious and candle-less Christmas skulls. He also pulled one of the sausages free of its toothpick and reached under the beard to jam it in his mouth. Still warm.

“Thank you, Skwisgaar,” he said once he’d finished chewing. “Now, what can I get for you? Ah, as Santa. Ho ho.”

“Everyones know it ams three ‘ho’s, dildo.” Skwisgaar steepled his fingers. “But I woulds like five ins mine room to enjoy ons the Christmas morning. You know the kinds I likes?”

Charles didn’t know what he’d expected. “It’s my job to know, so . . . yes.”

“Greats.” The guitarist patted him on the shoulder of his Santa suit. “Glads that ams sorted outs. Keeps up that good works, yous.”

Then he got up and wandered away, leaving Charles to realize that he hadn’t had a chance to ask him who was behind this whole Santa idea.

Charles finished the plate of food before Pickles made an appearance. He also realized that he could persuade his increasingly inebriated employees to bring him more food, and also drinks, by threatening them with cleanup duty after the party. (He was not in a generous mood; the ones that tried to weasel out of it at first would get cleanup duty regardless of whether they eventually caved or not.) There was no way to escape the alcohol content in the drinks—even when he asked for water it came spiked with vodka or peppermint schnapps, because everyone wanted to see the company’s CFO hammered.

At least they knew better than to roofie him, because Charles would have them killed.

He saw Pickles coming from a mile away. Maybe it was because Charles knew that once all of Dethklok had a chance to visit with “Santa Clause” he would be allowed to escape this torment; maybe it was because he really wanted to know if Pickles was, indeed, the mastermind behind this whole thing; and maybe it was just a tiny bit because he was annoyed the drummer had forgotten to wander over earlier.

But being annoyed at any of the guys was a nonstarter. Putting up with their antics was just part of the job.

“Heeeeeeeeeeey,” Pickles greeted him as he swayed his way over and plopped onto Charles’ lap. Unlike everyone else who had visited Santa this evening, he didn’t stick to perching closer to Charles’ knees but scooted in as close as he could until they were practically nose to nose. Mingled notes of every kind of booze available at the party wafted the short distance from the drummer’s mouth (and shirt, and hands, and dreads), until all Charles could smell was Pickles. “Lookin’ hot in that suit, dood. Is the temp in here okay? Gettin’ a little warm in there?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Charles said, trying not to be too aware that Pickles seemed incapable of sitting still and his ass was rubbing against . . . things. “Ah. Merry Christmas.”

Pickles snickered. “Did Nat’en make that ho joke?”

No one could see for the beard that Charles’ lips twitched toward a smile at that. “Yes, he did.”

“‘M glad yer not a ho, Charlie,” Pickles slurred affectionately. “A'least, not no much'a one. That’d be a bummer.”

“Ah . . . okay.” He didn’t know what to make of that, or the continuing subtle lap dance, so he said, “What would you like for Christmas this year, Pickles?”

“Weeeeell. . . .” Grinning, Pickles waggles his double-pierced eyebrows. It seems like he’s trying to be suggestive, but Charles has no idea what that’s supposed to suggest. The drummer leaned even closer, lips brushing against Charles’ ear as he murmurs, “I kinda already got my present right in front’a me, chief. Just gotta unwrap it.”

All of this was sending shivers and goosebumps down Charles’ spine under the (admittedly warm) Santa suit, but for heaven’s sake, it was just Pickles. When wasted, which he was more often than not, man oscillated between being a destructive drunk and clingy one. Apparently tonight it was . . . very much so the latter. Not a good time to ask about the Santa plot, really.

He had dealt with this before, just not with Pickles literally draped over and inconspicuously grinding on him. Come on, Offdensen, pull it together . Do not get a boner at the holiday office party. No matter how long it’s been!

“Well, ah, sounds like you’re all taken care of then,” Charles hazarded. “All that’s left to do is, ah, enjoy the party. Why don’t you go do that.”

Pickles chuckled, a low, sultry sound that just made the situation even more difficult. “Workin’ on it dood, I’m workin’ on it.” He shifted thoughtfully again, then bit his lip through a grin. “And it feels like we’re gettin’ there, huh chief?”

“I. Ah, what?” At least the big fake beard was concealing his blush better than he’d been able to contain his body’s mounting interest in the increasingly distracting ass squirming around on top of him. This is a public place , he wanted to protest, but didn’t want to risk pointing out something that might be completely unintentional. After all, it was Pickles , who did this sort of thing fairly regularly.

But the next murmured words out of Pickles’ mouth stopped every single one of Charles’ thoughts in their tracks.

“Fuck, even in this stupid suit yer sexy. How d’you do that?” A brief nip, teeth closing and tugging on Charles’ earlobe before releasing with a soft wet pop .

Nothing but overwhelmed static on the other side of that ear; the quiet gasp was completely involuntary.

“C’mon Charlie,” Pickles all but whined, “you don’t have to do this anymore. Jest call it a night and meet me in the bathroom or somethin’, okie?”

The amazing thing, Charles thought distantly, was that from a distance, it wouldn’t look like anything was happening. Just a grown man, swaying drunk off his ass, sitting on Santa’s lap to whisper what he wanted for Christmas. Regular office holiday party shenanigans for a laugh. But under the surface, Charles was starting to feel like a shaken champagne bottle.

“You, ah,” he managed. “You do realize that you, ah, seem to be prepositioning me for, ah. Sex?”

Pickles leaned into him with a laugh. “Like I said, dood, that’s what I’m tryin’ ta do. Fer like, fuckin’ forever. For a smart guy you can be pretty stupid, y’know that?”

“Ah.” Charles shifted awkwardly and nearly choked when Pickles very pointedly pushed into it at the exact right moment. “There’s . . . a chance I’ve been told that before,” he hedged, already vowing to himself that he would never admit how many times. This isn’t something he ever would have looked for, but mistaking Pickles hitting on him for god only knew how long for just being an affectionate drunk? That was pretty fucking funny if you thought about it, and he'd consumed just enough alcohol so far to really give it some very serious thought.

And . . . his job was to keep everyone in the band happy.

“So, ah. There are several bathrooms off this hall. . . . Which one did you have in mind?”

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse fanfic #chuckles #12 days of dethmas

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spaceskam · 4 years

Text

i’m a free spirit, that means free from you

i wrote a fic awhile ago about Michael exploring his sexuality. Now that it’s day 6 of @alexmanesappreciation (lost decade/missing scenes), it felt fitting for it to be Alex’s turn!

Warning: internalized homophobia and unhealthy relationships

ao3

.First Kiss.

“Oh, c’mon Alex, she likes you.”

Alex tried to smile as Kyle pestered him after they snuck out of their cabin and started wading through the woods. Summer camp was fine and all, but the longer he stayed there the higher the chances were that he was going to get in trouble. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to get in trouble for. It was just this stupid thing in his head that told him to be good, act normal, stop that.

They got louder every single time one of the other boys got too close to him when they were in their swim trunks.

“Yeah, but Katie? She’s not my type,” Alex said, mimicking what he’d heard his brother Greg say about the nice girl that was in the band at the high school. She made him cookies, wore a lot of stuff with skulls on them, and introduced him to a cool band called Blink-182. She stopped coming around after Greg told her she wasn’t his type.

“Type?” Kyle laughed, “She’s a girl! She’s got boobs!”

Alex tried to remind himself that he was supposed to like that even though he didn’t quite understand why.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Alex said, nodding.

They reached the riverbank where the rest of their friends‒or, really, Kyle’s friends‒had congregated, sneaking out after the counselors had gone to their own party for the night. It was ten of them in total, five from the boys side of camp and five from the girls. Alex didn’t even want to sneak out, really scared of what would happen if someone found out, but Kyle had grabbed his arm and begged him and he just said yes.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Katie said, making sure to look right at Alex as she said so. He instinctively looked to Kyle, hoping he would be on his side and say no.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Kyle said, agreeing like the rest of the guys and girls. Alex was the only one who didn’t want to, but he couldn’t be the only one who didn’t want to. That’s how you get people to make fun of you.

So they all sat down and the game just started. Everyone was being dumb, daring dumb things that Alex thought were stupid. He was the only one that kept saying truth and, even then, they weren’t anything fun and then he couldn’t come up with anything good and it just wasn’t fun. He kept looking to Kyle, kept trying to signal to him that this wasn’t fun, but it didn’t seem to click.

“Alex, truth or dare,” Katie said, eyes on him. She was pretty, she was. She had pretty hair and a pretty face and... boobs or something. But every time she looked at him, he got a little nervous.

“Truth,” he said again. Everyone immediately started complaining.

“You can’t keep saying truth!” Wyatt told him, “It’s no fun, you’re ruining the game.”

“Yeah, Alex, just say dare,” Kyle pressed. Alex glared at him for a second before sighing and slumping his shoulder. What could one dare do? Kyle had already drank river water.

“Fine,” he agreed, “Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me,” Katie said. Everyone around them ooh’d and Alex felt straight up terrified for a moment. He was a kid, he was way too young to be kissing anyone. Thirteen was way too young, didn’t they know that.

“In front of everybody?” Alex asked, voice cracking. She rolled her eyes dramatically.

“No, silly,” she said and he almost sighed in relief. Almost. “In the woods.”

Another round of ooh’s surrounding him and making him feel like he had literally no fucking choice in the matter. He knew that if he tried to tell them he didn’t want to, they’d make fun of him. He knew if he asked for a different dare, they’d make fun of him. And, at the end of the day, it was just a kiss. Why not get the first one over with anyway?

Alex did what he was told and stood up. He and Katie went into the woods, just out of the line of sight of the rest, and then they just stood there. She was a little taller than he was and way too close, smiling at him as wide as she could.

“So...”

“So,” she said, “Kiss me.”

“I-I don’t really know how to,” he said. She rolled her eyes.

“It’s easy, you just do this with your lips,” Katie told him, pursing her lips and closing her eyes. And then she waited. Alex just stared at her for a minute until she opened her eyes and looked at him expectantly. “Alex, you gotta do it too.”

“Oh,” he said. And he did. And he kissed her.

It was quick and weird and he understood the whole kissing thing a billion times less than before. But when they separated, she was smiling so big and her face was red. Clearly she’d enjoyed it which had him lost even more. Did something happen that he missed? It just felt weird.

“You’re my boyfriend now, right?” she said. He blinked in confusion.

“Uh...”

“Yay!” Katie said, grabbing his hand and leading him back towards the group.

He wiped his mouth off on the back of his hand and started planning ways to avoid that ever happening again.

.First Crush.

Alex bit down on his thumb nail as he looked around the room, making sure no one would look over his shoulder.

Of course they wouldn’t, he knew that, it was a public library and no one cared, but still. His eyes swept around a couple more times before he realized the more he did that, the more suspicious he looked, so he might as well just do what he came here for.

He gulped harshly and, with shaky hands, clicked the internet icon. Quickly, he typed in how do you know if you’re gay in the search bar. It loaded too slow and it made him look around again as if his dad was going to come out of nowhere. He knew that wasn’t it. He was fifteen now, his dad did let him go to the library by himself.

He scrolled through all the web pages, skimming the little summary but none of them answered his question. He just needed an answer, he needed someone to tell him. The more people around him called him gay, the less he felt like he understood it. How was he the one being called gay when they were the ones who compared their dicks in the locker room and he didn’t want to be apart of it? How was he the one being gay when he was the only one who looked away during that gross puberty class? How did watching the I Write Sins Not Tragedies music video more than once make someone gay? More importantly, what was so gay about having friends that were girls?

They all threw that word and none of them seemed to make sense. They never called him gay when he accidentally stared too long the first time he got in the locker room with the seniors. They never called him gay when he forgot how to breathe every time Mr. Edwards bent over to pick up a pencil. They never called him gay when he was really interested in watching wrestling. How was he supposed to know when everything seemed so disjointed?

Alex scrolled a little more and saw a link to something labeled ‘Am I Gay? Quiz 100% Accurate’ and, well, he couldn’t help himself.

Question #1: What do you consider yourself? Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Other

He stared at it with furrowed eyebrows, the cursor hovering over each option maybe a little longer than he should’ve. He eventually settled on straight. He had kissed girls and had girlfriends before even if it wasn’t great, it was still what he’d been doing. That was straight.

Question #2: In the locker room, did you ever peek over at another guy? Yes seize the opportunity, Yes but out of curiosity, No gross, No but I wanted to

Alex swallowed hard, his stomach churning. The mouse hovered over the first option. But was it like that though? Yes, he had looked, but he wasn’t trying to be gross or anything. He didn’t want to make anyone feel bad. He quickly selected the second option instead.

Question #3: You’re in a relationship with a girl, but you discover that there is a guy who likes you. What do you do? Stay with the girl because you like her, stay with the girl because you feel like you should, never go out with a girl in the first place, break up with the girl for the guy

That one at least felt obvious. Of course he would stay with the girl. What kind of person just breaks up with someone because someone else likes them? That’s just mean. He chose the second option instead of the first and decided not to think too hard about why.

Question #4: Would you ever cheat on a girl with a... girl, guy, I wouldn’t cheat

He smiled at the second no-brainer in a row. He would never cheat. He wasn’t an asshole.

Question #5: Why are you taking this quiz? I’m bored, I’m confused, I’m gay

Alex stared at it longer than he should’ve. Why was he taking this quiz? Shouldn’t he know these things? It shouldn’t be hard. He should know who he was sexually attracted to, right? He should know. But it wasn’t that fucking easy. He’d met girls who were pretty. Did he want to sleep with them? No, but he hadn’t really met any guys in person that he wanted to sleep with either. It was too much, too confusing.

So, he clicked that he was confusing.

The loading bar stayed on the screen for way too long, but, sure enough, a screen popped up that he was, in fact, straight just a little confused. Which was apparently normal. Alex leaned back, nodding to himself. He was normal.

Alex exited out of the browser and got up, pulling out his iPod from his pocket. He put his headphones over his ears and waved to the nice librarian as he left before pressing play. He felt good, normal, as he walked in time to the MCR song that flooded through his ears towards Bean Me Up. He’d taken a test and even it said he was fine. He’d be fine.

He ordered a coffee and walked to the other side of the counter to wait, leaning against the wall. A smile easily found his face as Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco started flooding into his ears. He found it impossible not to smile when he heard Brendon Urie’s voice. How was someone that fucking talented?

Then everything slowed down as someone appeared outside the window.

The seductive singing only seemed to set the stage as Marcus Lopez, current quarterback at Roswell High, slowed to a stop, breathing heavy and sweating with his workout gear clinging to his brown skin that literally was glowing under the sun. Alex couldn’t fucking breathe as he pulled his shirt up and over his head and used it to wipe his face dry, exposing his toned stomach and flexing his biceps. He pulled a water bottle out of nowhere and poured it into his mouth, some of the water missing and sliding over each crevice of his body.

Oh.

.First Boyfriend.

“What are you playing?”

Alex looked over to the doorway to see Elijah Thibodaux staring at him. He was the senior boy who got the lead in every school musical and every solo in choir. He was talented and every girl in theatre and choir was obsessed with him. Alex, however, kept his appreciation to himself.

“Oh, uh, I wrote it,” Alex admitted, shyly looking back to his guitar. He tried to keep playing so he’d come off as cool, but he was feeling a little flustered. Boys didn’t really talk to him if they could help it and this one boy was not only talking to him, but he was super cute.

“Musetta’s Waltz.”

“Huh?” Alex asked. Elijah smiled at him and walked further into the music room, straddling the chair beside him.

“That’s Musetta’s Waltz,” Elijah told him, “Not an original.”

Alex stopped playing, embarrassment filling his system. Leave to him to fuck it up the minute he tried to be cool. Elijah just laughed it off though, scooting closer. Alex tried not to seize up as his hand touched his back. Why was a suave senior touching him? What the fuck was that supposed to be mean?

Elijah’s hand slid up to Alex’s shoulder and he looked over at him.

“Go on, play something for me,” Elijah told him, looking at him with those obscenely green eyes and batting those long eyelashes against his pale cheeks. Alex swallowed hard and nodded, looking back down to his guitar. Instinct took over and Alex slowly started strumming the chords to Wonderwall. Elijah moved his hand up to his jaw. “You’re really good.”

“Thank you,” Alex said, looking over at him and trying to remember how to breathe. His strumming got a little sloppy, but it didn’t seem to matter. Elijah just leaned in close, smiling and his eyes flickering down to his lips and back up again. Alex didn’t have time to even process it before he was being kissed.

Alex stared with wide eyes as Elijah pulled away, struggling to comprehend what the hell just happened. It didn’t make any sense. Elijah was gorgeous and desired and Alex was… What?

“You just kissed me,” Alex said blankly. Elijah grinned.

“Yeah.” And then he did it again.

Alex melted at the attention. It was the first time a boy had ever given him so much attention. He had no idea what to even do with it.

After that, Alex slowly found himself at Elijah’s beck and call. They would make out behind the bleachers and late at night after sneaking out. Elijah flooded him with compliments and only persuaded him a little to send raunchy pictures or do things he wasn’t quite sure about. But it was fine because he was his boyfriend. That’s what you did with boyfriends.

They carried on like that for a few months, all of it secret. Alex wanted to tell Maria and Liz about him a few times, but Elijah said it was a bad idea and he knew it. He loved them but he wasn’t sure they’d be able to keep it a complete secret. And no one could find out about Elijah and him because of his dad.

But it was a couple nights before the spring choir concert when Alex started hearing things about Elijah having a girlfriend. That didn’t make sense to Alex and he was sure it wasn’t real. People must’ve gotten things confused. Elijah was close to a lot of girls, it was bound to happen. Elijah was Alex’s boyfriend. No one else’s. But, still, Alex found himself a little more willing to send more explicit pictures for a couple days just to make sure he still held his attention.

Which didn’t stop him from walking down the hall, hand in hand with a girl on the day of the spring choir concert.

Alex didn’t know how to deal with the pain that flooded his system at the sight. He got irrationally upset and wanted to confront him right there, but he decided to wait. He waited until lunch time and they met up at their usual spot behind the bleachers. That’s where they would kiss and talk and do boyfriend things.

“I saw you with that girl,” Alex said boldly as Elijah went to greet him with a kiss. He had the audacity to be confused and, when he realized Alex was serious, he rolled his eyes. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal. I started talking to Cassie way before I even started talking to you,” Elijah told him. The way he said it made it sound like it made it less mean. It didn’t stop Alex’s heart from breaking. “It’s not the same.”

“What do you mean it’s not the same? You’re cheating on me!”

Elijah sighed, “Don’t be dramatic, it’s not cheating.”

“Then what do you call it?”

“Alex, it doesn’t even count. I mean, you’re a guy.”

Alex blinked and swallowed harshly, trying to follow his train of thought. It counted for him. It really, really counted for him. That wasn’t fair.

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” Alex said softly. Elijah scoffed.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that.”

“No, ‘cause it counts for me. It’s cheating.”

Alex was proud of himself for being man enough to walk away.

Less proud of himself for taking all the way up until Elijah graduated two months later before he stopped answering every time he called.

.First Love.

“You trust me?”

“Um, yes.”

“Then c’mon.”

Alex bit down on his bottom lip as he caved and jumped into the passenger seat of Michael’s truck. They were newly graduated, fresh adults, and everyone was supposed to be going to graduation parties. Of course, Liz wasn’t around anymore and Alex was finding it hard to celebrate when Rosa was dead.

But he still told his dad he was going to one which meant he could sneak off with Michael.

Part of him felt a little guilty for allowing himself even a shred of happiness, but then all he had to do was look at Michael’s fucked hand and he realized nothing really mattered. Soon, he’d be off to basic and he’d have to leave Michael behind. He was going to steal all the happiness he could.

Michael draped his arm around Alex’s shoulders as he drove out to the middle of nowhere and Alex leaned into his side. His head hit his shoulder and his eyes closed, soaking up the closeness of, well, him. He smelled like motor oil since he drove straight from work to graduation. Alex didn’t mind. In fact, he was pretty sure he would miss that smell when he was gone.

Alex tilted his head back to press a kiss to his neck and, from the corner of his eye, saw Michael smile. He had such a gorgeous smile. He was just gorgeous in general with his big, expressive eyes and sunburnt cheeks. Beautiful, kind, caring, what more could someone ask for in a boyfriend?

The truck pulled to a stop in the middle of the desert, far away from where anyone could stumble upon them, much less find them on purpose. It was a comforting thought.

The two of them climbed into the bed of the truck and laid out his sleeping bags to give them some sort of cushion before they laid down. Alex laid directly in his arms and Michael responded with a sweet little hum as they got comfortable.

“So, what’s next?” Alex asked, “What’s your plan?”

“I don’t know. Fix up cars, work on ranches, save up money.”

“What happened to UNM?”

Michael was quiet for a moment before he exhaled heavily for a solid ten seconds. Alex tilted his head up to see that he very clearly hadn’t anticipated this conversation. Which was valid. But Alex knew they had limited time together. He wanted to make sure Michael was going to do something good with that big brain of his.

“I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Michael admitted, “Too big of a change all at once.”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “How? Everything’s gonna change already.”

“Yeah, but… At least staying here I have Max and Isobel,” Michael said. Alex lifted his head to meet his eyes. Michael was visibly sad, but he was trying to hide it. He sucked at hiding it. “I don’t know, I’m just not ready.”

“But you’re so smart. What happened to ag? You’ve been wanting to do that since I met you,” Alex pointed out. Michael forced a flirtatious little smile.

“Well, who’s gonna cheer me on when you’re gone?” he teased. But Alex didn’t find it funny.

“Guerin, don’t base your future around me. As much as I would love to be there with you every step of the way, you need to think about it for real. You could be something great, don’t bury yourself in me,” Alex told him, watching his smile fade. It was replaced by a sad bit of understanding.

“I know. I’m just gonna miss you,” he said.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Alex agreed.

Michael stared at him for a moment before looking away and up towards the sky, no longer making eye contact as he steadied his breathing. Alex knew he didn’t like talking about the future or the fact that Alex was leaving or the idea of growing up. For someone who had no real sense of stability, he hated any type of change. It was confusing and Alex didn’t know how to make him understand that he just wanted what was best for him.

Then it dawned on him that maybe that’s what love really was.

“Hey,” Alex said, gently laying his palm on Michael’s cheek and guiding his sight back to him, “I know it’s going to be weird after I leave and I still want you to do something good with your brain, but this isn’t forever. I’m coming home. I don’t know when or, or who I’ll be when I do, but I’m gonna come home to you. I promise.”

And that seemed to be good enough for Michael. At least for that night.

.First ‘I Love You’.

“Like it fuckin’ matters? No one in our crew is a queer anyways.”

Alex forced a laugh and focused on his food. As of this morning, DADT was finally gone. Part of him thought he’d feel safer once it was, but he didn’t. The threat was still there. Now he just didn’t have a whole law to keep his self esteem from eating away at itself.

He wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he was here, he was queer, and if anyone had a problem with it, he would show them up. But then people that he hung out with every day, his friends, said things that scared the shit out of him. He knew that, if he came out, they probably wouldn’t actually care and would only require a little bit of reform, but the word probably still kept him in his cage.

“Manes!” Alex lifted his head to Col. Monroe, the man looking slightly more irritated than usual. “Do I need to send you to go hunt down Lawrence or is he on his way? I need to have a talk with him.”

A talk. Alex’s stomach dropped, but he didn’t let it show. Instead, he stood to his feet.

“I’ll go find him, Sir.”

“Good man.”

Alex discarded his tray quickly and headed to Jay’s place on base. His heart was thudding in his chest and slowly began to think this was probably on purpose. Jay Lawrence was a very reckless man and if almost pissing off someone high ranking was what it took to get Alex alone, well, he didn’t put it past him.

Alex knocked on the door and it opened almost immediately. Jay stood at attention just to be safe, his toned body barely restrained by his almost-too-small uniform when he flexed, but he gave a sneaky little smile once he saw Alex. Then he pulled him inside. Once the door was closed, Alex was being kissed so senseless that it took him a moment to forget why he even came in the first place.

He grabbed Jay’s elbows, breathing him in as he reluctantly pulled away. When he opened his eyes, Jay was just staring at him like he was the best thing to grace the Earth and it was easy to feel flustered by that. Alex wasn’t stupid, he knew Jay liked him more than he liked Jay. But Alex admittedly liked the attention and he definitely liked not feeling so alone, so he said nothing.

“DADT is fucking gone, A,” he said, a weight very clearly thrown off his shoulders, “Like officially. No rumors of it being gone, no vague date, no waiting. It’s gone. We, we could be something for real.”

Alex rubbed his thumb over his forearm, smiling slightly. He was younger than Alex, not by much but by enough. He had a family who loved him, who he was out to and who didn’t mind. They all agreed to keep hush so he could serve his country though. He was so pure and kind. He was way too good for Alex.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Alex teased lightly, sliding his hand up to the side of his neck. He’d never been with a man who was so dark that it made him look so pale in comparison before, but, like always, he found it hard to stop staring. They looked good together, objectively, aesthetically. They could be so good. “People still don’t like it. They were bitching about it in the DFAC.”

“Fuck them, what are they gonna do?” Jay asked, stepping in close again to go for another kiss. Reluctantly, Alex dodged it.

“Monroe sent me to find you. Said he wants to talk to you,” Alex told him. His smile faded just a little.

“Okay, then I’ll go, but don’t change the subject,” Jay said, moving his hands to his hips, “C’mon, let’s talk about it. When can we make it public? Or, just, like stop trying so hard to hide?”

Alex stared at him, trying to find a way to say never. If it got back to his father that he was seeing someone in the Air Force, Jay would be so fucked. His career, his life, his entire self would never be the same if his father had a say. That was difficult to explain, especially to someone who had never met the man. But Alex heard it loud and clear when he first met the General and he said, “Manes? I served with your grandpa. Good man.”

He could never be safe and queer here.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially not here, not now,” Alex said softly. Jay’s smile dropped and Alex’s heart ached in its wake.

“A,” Jay said, shaking his head, “You said once DADT was gone, we could‒”

“The stigma is still there. We’ll still be targeted and I don’t want that for you, for either of us.”

“Fuck them!”

“That’s not how this works,” Alex said calmly, “These are people we have to fight beside, you can’t make them hate who you are and you can’t not care what they think.”

“I love you,” Jay said desperately, trying to get him to understand how much he didn’t care about anything else. Alex felt his mouth go dry and his eyes widened. “Look, if it’s that bad, let’s leave when our contract is up. I wanna be with you more than I want to be some fucking war hero.”

“I…” Alex said, clearing his throat as he took a step back, “I’m not leaving the Air Force. I’m not coming out. I’m sorry.”

“Are you serious, right now?” Jay demanded. The hurt was clear on his face and Alex felt so fucking bad. But it wasn’t an option. “So what was all that shit you told me, huh? Just stuff to keep me around so your dick had something better than your hand?”

Alex didn’t know what to say, so instead he said nothing. Jay shook his head and sniffled and suggested that he leave. So Alex left.

The Colonel ended up telling Jay that his sister, a strong willed woman slowly climbing the ranks in the army, had committed suicide. He left after his term was up.

Alex thought about him more than he would ever admit.

.First Pride.

“Do you think I look too gay?”

“I am going to destroy that thought process one day. One day.”

Alex rolled his eyes, but Forrest grinned over his shoulder and dragged his hands over his hips and it was hard to be annoyed. Forrest was kind and supportive and brought a side of Alex out that he thought had been long buried. It made him feel a little bit better, a little bit stronger. Something was still missing, but he wasn’t scared anymore.

“But to answer your question, no, you don’t look ‘too gay’. Whatever that means,” Forrest said, “Even if you did, we’re literally going to a pride party so it doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t want your friends to think I’m weird.”

“Alex, all of my friends are queer. All of them. You will be the only straight-passing one there.”

“Straight-passing? That’s a thing?”

“You have so much to learn.”

Alex rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. Forrest just pressed a kiss to his neck before putting his hands on his shoulders, trying to massage out the tension. Alex didn’t think it would work. He was nervous to be so… out there. Sure, he kissed Forrest in the Wild Pony, but that was different. He was high on adrenaline. This was real and prolonged.

This was going to a gay bar with a man on his arm.

He spent a lot of time trying to decipher what exactly out was for him. Was it screaming from the rooftops or was it just being comfortable in his skin? He still wasn’t quite sure. For right now, though, he could try screaming from the rooftops. Forrest seemed to like it and, well, it was better than hiding.

As they made their way towards Planet 7, Alex felt himself get even more anxious. He was so fucking terrified that he was going to do something wrong, that he was going to embarrass himself. He still was trying to comprehend the difference between being too gay and not gay enoguh, where he fit on that scale, if it mattered.

Forrest said it didn’t matter, but then he would start talking about shit Alex had never even heard of and he suddenly felt like he was bad at being queer. There were so many words he didn’t know, so much he had to learn about not only being a gay man, but the other people who were LGBT+ and the history behind it. It was almost overwhelming. Fascinating, though.

“Hey,” Forrest said as he walked up to a table. It was four of Forrest’s friends, all having colorful hair and having pride-themed makeup. Alex tried not to feel so out of place or envious. He had a feeling that if he met people like this back in high school, he would’ve become someone a lot different. It was hard being the only punk one in Roswell.

“This must be the boyfriend,” one of Forrest’s friends said. Alex gave a smile and shrugged as Forrest led him to sit beside him at the table. “I’m Em, I use they/them pronouns.”

“I’m Casey, Em’s girlfriend, I use she/they.”

“Ryan, he/him.”

“And I’m Sophie and I use ‘em all.”

Alex hesitantly looked over Forrest for guidance. He just gave an encouraging smile and nodded towards them as if he didn’t feel out of place as it was. But he was willing to try.

“I’m Alex, I use he/him, I guess,” he said. He felt like he was back in basic, starting from scratch on how to interact with people. He didn’t wanna fuck up.

“I may have told them you needed a solid introduction of everyone,” Forrest laughed. Alex tried to laugh a little too and definitely did a lot better once he got some alcohol in his system.

For the next couple hours, Alex mainly listened to them talk, but he wasn’t bored. It was a nice change of pace. No aliens or government conspiracies. Instead, they spoke of politics and movies and books and people. They invited Alex to go with them the next weeked when they planned to give supplies to homeless people (something they did regularly) and tend to the community garden they’d started to supply people who needed it with free food. They didn’t seem to mind that he was learning the proper language or the way to act, they welcomed him with open arms because he was trying to learn. It made it so much easier to relax.

But then Isobel and Michael walked in.

They didn’t approach him, but they waved and he waved back. After a few too many minutes of wondering how the hell Isobel got Michael here, Alex offered to go buy the next round of drinks. He went to stand by them as he did so.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Isobel teased. Alex gave her a warm smile and then did the same to Michael. He looked a little tired, but he was able to smile back easily.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” Alex said before ordering the drinks, “Shocked you got Guerin all the way out here.”

“I’m trying something new,” Michael said. Alex nodded.

“I feel that. So am I.”

“How does it feel to be out? I’m loving it,” Isobel said. Alex snorted.

“I know you are,” he said, “But it looks good on you, all the confidence and ‘fuck you’ attitude. Suits you.”

“Speaking of, I’m going to go work on getting laid,” Isobel sighed happily, turning on her seat and heading to where people were congregating and celebrating most. And then there were two.

“What about you?” Michael asked.

“Hmm?”

“You said all the being out looks good on Isobel. What about yourself?” Michael said, staring at him like he really wanted an answer. Alex licked his lips and thought about it, looking over to where Forrest and his friends were laughing.

“I don’t think I know yet,” Alex admitted, “I’m still trying to figure out what that even means to me, you know? Like Isobel and Forrest, they like that it’s known from the moment someone sees them. And it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just…”

“Invasive,” Michael noted. Alex nodded.

“Yeah. But it’s better than hiding, so I think it’s good for me.”

“I’m happy for you,” Michael told him and he sounded sincere even as he sipped his virgin daiquiri. Alex smiled.

“Thank you.”

Alex took the drinks back to the table and fit himself back into the conversation. Another couple hours went by before it was nearing its way towards midnight and they decided it was time to go home. They said their goodbyes and nice-to-meet-yous before going their separate ways.

“You were uncomfortable.”

“Huh?”

Alex turned to Forrest who had happily agreed to stay sober to drive while Alex drank to release the tension. The night sky was full of stars and the moon was full and Forrest was smiling, but it didn’t make sense with his words.

“Tonight. Being there made you uncomfortable. Was it the crowd? The rainbows? Just overwhelming in general? Talk to me,” Forrest pressed. Alex licked his lips and shifted in his seat.

“I-I think I’m more of a private person, I guess,” he tried, hoping his words didn’t come off as offensive, “It’s nice being out and proud, but… I guess I still don’t feel like me.”

“You know there’s a middle ground, right?” Forrest said. Alex gave him his full attention, eager to hear about what that might look like. “It’s your business, Alex. Not showing it always doesn’t mean you’re hiding.”

“I guess.”

“Some people that’s who they are, you know? It’s not a bad thing, it’s just who they are, it’s who I am. Our personalities are loud and that part of us shines through. You don’t have to force yourself to be bigger than you are to be queer enough. As long as you feel like yourself then it doesn’t fucking matter,” Forrest said. Alex gave him a confused smile.

“But I thought you said‒”

“Well, maybe I was wrong,” Forrest admitted. Alex relaxed more than he had in awhile. “That was before I got to know you and your past and before I understood that being private didn’t mean you were ashamed. I don’t want you forcing yourself to be someone you’re not for me. You can be Alex Manes, war hero who happens to be gay. You don’t have to be Alex Manes, gay war hero.”

Alex closed his eyes and smiled to himself, feeling better than he had in a long time.

Maybe he could just be him.

.Forever.

“Holy fuck, what did you take?”

“Um, antidepressants?”

A shocked laugh bubbled out of Michael and Alex smiled in response, propping his head up on his hand as he stared at the man he was going to spend his life with. He was all laid out after what honestly could’ve been two hours of fucking outside‒Alex wasn’t sure, he wasn’t really focused on the clock‒and he was in a blissful, sweaty daze. It was one of Alex’s many favorite sights.

After about a year of living in town together and talking about what they wanted to do, the two of them made the unanimous decision to fully renovate Jim Valenti’s hunting cabin and make that their permanent residence. Sure, the drive was a pain, but everything else made it worth it. They had all the privacy in the world to do things like fuck on the daybed Isobel insisted putting on their back porch the minute they mentioned building a pool.

“Aren’t antidepressants supposed to make you less sexually active or something?” Michael asked, slowly regaining his strength and using it to reach for Alex.

“I mean, it’s a common side effect, but I’ve only had that problem a couple times,” Alex admitted, sinking back into the daybed to press a kiss to his sweaty chest. Michael wrapped his arms around him and Alex found himself smiling even wider.

If someone had told him five years ago that he would be happily engaged to Michael Guerin, he would’ve laughed. He never saw himself being in a place where he felt comfortable enough to be in a loving, committed, serious relationship. Every other time, it was so easy to hide‒whether that be hiding in himself or from himself. Michael was the only one who seemed to be on the same wavelength.

It just took him awhile to get there.

“God, I fucking love you,” Michael groaned, squeezing him so tight that Alex couldn’t help but smile so wide it hurt his cheeks. He accepted the kisses that doused his face.

“I love you too.”

Alex tilted his head up to meet him in a kiss, one leading to another until they were slipping into a lazy makeout session. They would eventually have to get up, clean off, get dress, act like useful members of society, but wasn’t it so much fun to do nothing but enjoy each other?

They were over 30. They’d wasted their 20s being confused and lost and sad and now they were grown ass men and they’d both refused to waste their lives being so miserable. A little bit of therapy and self-inspection had made it clear they just needed to work a bit harder to make that possible. Apparently, they had very similar hangups.

So they adjusted to make things work. Michael assured Alex that he was enough all the time, doting on him in a way that Alex craved and needed so he wouldn’t second guess himself. Alex made sure to always keep Michael in the loop even if it felt stupid, a small but difficult change to make sure Michael never felt like he was going to be left behind. They always let each other know where they were, who they were with, what they were doing. It wasn’t about control, it was about comfort. They’d gone too many years not knowing. It was so much easier to know.

“I was thinkin’ about our wedding,” Michael whispered, breaking the endless string of kisses. Alex smiled at the word. He never in a million year saw himself getting married. But, damn, might as well. “What if we did it in that big church in the middle of Roswell?”

“You wanna get married in a church?” Alex laughed. Michael ran his hand over his chest.

“I mean, not really, but I think it’d be super fucking funny. Besides, wouldn’t that make us the first queer couple to get married inside Roswell lines? That’d be fuckin’ hilarious.”

“Oh, you want our wedding to be funny?”

“I mean, yeah,” Michael admitted. Alex laughed softly and shook his head. “I know you don’t like big stuff like that, but c’mon. We could laugh about it with our grandchildren.”

Alex smiled even bigger and pushed himself up to give him another kiss. Wedding, grandchildren, fiance. He got to use those words all for himself. Wasn’t that wild?

“Okay, let’s do it. Our wedding pictures can have us flipping off everyone.”

“See?” Michael said, “You get it.”

A few more kisses later, they eventually decided to be grownups and they pulled themselves to their feet to go inside and clean up, make dinner, take care of themselves. Everything felt so easy. Sure, bad days came still and arguments still happened, but Alex was happy.

It turns out, while his goal had always been to just be able to relax, the real happy ending was freedom.

And, with Michael, he was free.

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