#the hyper interest in how this show was made got to me today

[drawnaghht]

Neo Edo magnetic "holsters"

so today/yesterday I started thinking....

what a cool detail the magnetic "holsters" - knobs and stripes are. A very unique design idea for the setting they went with (basically energy-punk or a kind of close-futuristic sci-fantasy)

for example, Gen has large magnet strips on his back, but also on the front of his vest?

The back strips are bigger, while the front strips I'm not entirely sure about, but they are slightly smaller and thinner, so it could be that they are something else, like pockets.

Chizu's appears to have dual magnetic strips on both her pants, her jacket lapels at the bottom, as well as a bigger/stronger magnet triangle on her back, assuming for her polearm, then later for her bow. The strips on her pants could also be just re-enforcing

The other Neko Ninja also appear to have magnets on their armor's backs and hip-pieces. (more longer images under cut)

Kitsune does not appear to have any magnets on her body? but she has a belt which she has a small pouch on and her belt goes around enough times that it could be easy to store her first set of tessen on her back.

Usagi's are small magnets on his obi, both the yoyo and sword have space to fit, one on either side. The sword is always on the left side, so that Usagi can draw it fast enough with his right hand without hurting himself by accident (at least, according to how sword-carrying became tradition during the Edo-era, the show is fairly consistent about this way the swords are carried)

From the first episode with Usagi, we see that the magnets appear to be strong enough that they lock onto the metal of the weapon long enough that the user can remove their fingers from holding the weapon.

and with the yoyo:

Overall, it's a super-interesting feature in the city! Other characters also have these magnets on their outfits/armor - you can pause any shot and see that characters have something magnetic/metallic on their body, with (I think) the exception of Karasu-Tengu and auntie, and the regular citizens of Neo Edo. So here for example the Keisatsu and Lord Kogane.

Most notably, one of the keisatsu guarding Usagi in ep 102, a set of keys dangles from it and we later find out it's this keisatsu's apartment keys haha.

Usagi waits and holds to test the magnet on his left side when he is holstering his auntie's sword, and we see that the effect is quite strong. But then in ep 2, he just slaps the yoyo onto his other side un-ceremoniously, even though this one is directly given to him by a magic stone haha xD You'll notice how Usagi's magnets have some sort of inset inlay, and a glowing symbol inside it which appears to be his clan emblem. Perhaps this means that his obi, or the magnet inlays were once commissioned for one of his ancestors? Since auntie does not appear to wear one of these, maybe it was a direct heirloom to Usagi from one of his parents? Or maybe it was something specially made for when Usagi was a bit older? Could even be that Auntie had it made for one of Usagi's birthdays (good source of a fanfic plot hehe). The magnets are also shown to always glow purple, like the Ki-Stone, and so is Usagi's yoyo itself, when activating any of its abilities, but in this case, the lines on the two sides of the yoyo glow just like the inset on Usagi's weapon-holster magnets.

For other fighter groups in the series, the Mogura crew don't seem to use any visible(?) weapons, while the Bat Squadron have switchblades on the top of their wings/fingers(?), while on their backs they have parachute backpacks. The Neko Ninja appear to have no visible magnets, but possibly their entire armor has hidden magnets within? just a theory for now.

Now, while Usagi's obi and its magnets seem to be custom, could the rest of Usagi's outfit be too? possibly. It seems to be a very specifc combination of both samurai, ninja and farmer outfits, as well as practical application of what samurai used to travel lighter while staying protected. First of all, his vest is a kind of deep blue which according to some historic records, is hemophilic? meaning, it can hold in blood if the wearer is struck suddenly, and according to older beliefs, it even had some healing properties. The vest is tied together by the obi, and the shoulder-gaps/edges appear to have either wooden or leather guards attached to the vest, enforced by these peculiar rectangular (i've seen this kind of work before in woodwork workshops but cannot remember the exact name) Under this vest, he appears to have a light leather or wood breastplate for protectin and under this in turn, he has a dark blue/black undershirt. His pants appear to be in two parts. The first part being the dark blue pants he wears, and the second a patterned "pants cover" which attaches to his chest guard or armor under the vest via light blue clasps. [edit: 10.10.2023:] Still looking around for the basis of this, but this appears similar to some pants I've seen irl. This cover and the pants both seem to be either tucked into or covered by the leg guards Usagi wears. [end edit] Whatever 3rd undergarment he has connects with the blue sleeves he has, which are tied with strings similar to his auntie's sleeves, but these strings are only drawn and animated in the 2D sequences (for the sake of simpler animation, it seems, since Usagi appears in so many scenes and has many moving parts) Then he has dark blue arm guards and kneeguards, while the boot part of his shoes seem to be some harder leather or other material. Usagi, because of wanting to follow in the steps of his samurai ancestor, does not have any other magnetic holsters on his body.

Chizu and Gen also seem to have customized magnets, but of a different appearance. First of all obviously, their shape is rectangular longer or shorter strips, without inlays or emblems, and Chizu has her back-triangle magnet.

I've sometimes also wondered if Gen's emblem is also a magnet, tho this is less likely... The rest of his outfit is fashioned to protect his body enough to also be mobile. So his back magnet-strips are way larger and fit nicely there, enough for his kanabo to attach comfortably to it without falling off. He has a lighter and thinner looking metal plate over his chest, which is obviously armor with a dipping neckline which is colored a golden/bronze? while the bottom part is a deep indigo, covered with studs. Traditionally what these kinds of studs do, is that if someone hits you in the stomach area (one of the most vulnerable areas in an armed fight), the metal studs set in the plate should deflect metal weapon blows to the stomach. so that's interesting to see, Gen's outfit is very practical and he is obviously a bounty hunter who has been doing the job for a while, evidenced also by Gen's healed-over facial scars. A purple vest with a higher collar covers this armor partly. The vest is patterned with these outlined hexagons which have a smaller hexagon inside them. The sleeves of this vest are puffed up(?) and either tied to his arms or it's a rubber band inside the fabric of the light magenta strip of his sleeve. I cannot see that he has any magnets on his belt, which is otherwise tied around the latter-bottom part of his armor and pants. The armor near the belt and on the stomach bends upwards in a semi-trapeze shape toward the dipping neckline of the upper part of his armor. His shoulder pads, kneepads and armguards appear to be enforced leather. I can't remember the exact term for this, but you see that the shoulder parts have stronger leather strings going through the inner parts, possibly to strengthen the rest of the pads. His warclubs sit comfortably on his back on the larger magnet strips.

Chizu's outfit is obviously made for blending in as a civilian, while retaining mobility and flexibility as a ninja, so it's not metal/hard armor like the other Neko Ninja - but instead seems to be wooden/light armor made to look like the shapes on the shirts of other (the dipping rectangle), and undergarment (black) + red and black leather vest and pants. The strips blend in nicely with this sort of outfit, while also allowing Chizu to have many weapons besides the hidden ones she has, the ninja stars and the small crossbow in her gauntlets/hand guards. Chizu's back-magnet triangle meanwhile fits her outfit style exactly, with a black inlay and golden-color outer rim, sort of like Usagi's magnet, but with no inset. Perhaps it's not a magnet at all then? But it sorta makse sense to be a magnet still. In ep 2, she brings her collapsible naginata along and sets it on her back. So this is a running design element amont the characters of Neo Edo that they carry their weapons on these magnetic shapes - strips, circlets, triangles, etc

Kitsune has a very straight-forward outfit. She presents herself as an ordinary street performer while also stealing during her performances, skillfully enough that she doesn't need a helping hand in this. Her outfit consists of mostly greens, teals and on the leaf-prints of her kimono vest, we see that she has maple-leaf patterns in beige, orance and yellow tones, in homage to her namesake and inspiration, the Kitsune in the Usagi Yojimbo comics. Her belt goes around her waist 2 times, while the 3rd time sits more loosely around her left hip, carrying her leather pouch, possibly from weight, but also comfort. compared to the previous two, Kitsune's outfit seems less about hiding or being openly her profession and more about her feeling comfortable, being herself. This is also why she has different bracelets and bangles on her writsts. As with Usagi and Chizu, her clothings are closed in the traditional kimono 'y' shape, left over right side, but while Usagi has only his vest over his armor and undershirt, and Chizu's is just her undershirt, for Kitsune she has both a vest and dark green undershirt, meaning that she appears more casual and layered. Possibly, because of living on the streets, she is ready for any weather and these clothes might have more other practical applications. But also likely, she just feels comfortable in these warm clothes. It is spring after all at the start of the series (exactly the same day it aired, April 28th), so possibly the air is more brisk and Kitsune has kept this look for just a while. All this is more observation + fantheory, but otherwise, there seem to be no metal or magnetic parts on her body. She does not focus on fighting as much as the others and her modus operandi in fights seems to more self-defense, which is what her battle fans are meant for, a self-defense weapon. It's possible she could have hiding places on her open-toed boots for smaller weapons, but then again, I do not believe we've seen them used as such in the show.

Now I wonder how these magnet strips are produced and made at all... do they use the Ki-Stone to magnetize strips of metal somehow? There are many methods to make magnets irl, so I wonder which ones were used here to achieve this strong magnet effect together with the rest of the Ki-Stone's effects...

Anyway, this isn't a deep-dive about clothing, I just wanted to shortly write about the interesting element of magnet wepon-holders, because these seem a ki-stone specific magic/science, but I got a bit lengthy about the clothings anyway bc I like this show ^^

[woodywood101blog]

Experimental (Part 1)

Yazan loved learning about new medical breakthroughs. As a doctor, he spends a lot of time understanding how new technologies are being tested and introduced that help make his patients' lives better and healthier. He mostly found it interesting learning about the newest ideas. As soon as it says "first" in the research paper title or news report, he was right on it.

So when he saw a research paper from an Australian team that said "first experimental pregnancy in a man", he looked at it with both intrigue and concern. Clearly men shouldn't get involved in something so.. feminine, he thought.

Of course, when he read the paper, it explained that the researchers at the University of Sydney's School of Medicine were only able to confirm viability up to 3 weeks of pregnancy. They explained that the hormonal changes required for the pregnancy to continue in a man would be so overwhelming that it would cause harm to the man, and that is without considering that it would be medically an ectopic pregnancy from the get-go. Suffice to say, it's medically dangerous, and emphasised as such by the researchers.

Oh well, good try, Yazan thought.

A couple of weeks later, an email popped into Yazan's inbox about a conference in Sydney, and a request to present there. He actually had never been to Australia before, especially with how expensive flights and everyday costs there are, so he took the chance and agreed to present.

Yazan finally made it across to Australia and was able to present his new research in haematology, while also taking in the sights and experiences of Sydney. One night, he stumbled across Oxford Street, the hub for queer culture in Sydney and home of the Mardi Gras parade. He grabbed the first high table he could see at the Oxford Hotel, and just observed people going about their fun Saturday nights while tucking into a steak.

He saw someone eyeing him from the side, and when he turned he saw a beautiful man. Although he was short, he appeared built like Yazan. He had short brown hair, a square jaw and light stubble, but didn't appear stoic or aggressive like other men. This man slowly walked towards him and sat in the seat next to Yazan.

"You're Dr Yazan, right?"

"Yeah... and you are?"

"Mike! I think I saw you at the conference in Darling Harbour today? Well done today!"

Sure enough, Mike was sitting and observing Yazan's presentation, but also for other reasons. Mike was part of the Australian team that researched male pregnancy. He had been developing a form of hyper-concentrated hormonal medication that would allow a pregnancy to remain viable for longer than 3 weeks in men, but was a long way off small-scale animal testing, let alone human testing. Mike was getting worried the research would be wound down by the university, so was starting to think about ways of getting the research to speed forward, without the university's immediate knowledge.

And he knew exactly what he wanted to do...

"So, that's the general gist of what I've been researching on..." Yazan said. "I kinda need to pop to the bathroom quickly.. do you mind looking after my meal, please? Feel free to have some of the fries!"

"No worries!"

Show time. Once Yazan was out of sight, Mike grabbed a small vial of what looked like salt flakes, but were actually some of the experimental hormones. They looked almost exactly like the coarse salt already on Yazan's steak, so it could work, Mike thought.

"Here goes nothing..." Mike sprinkled the salt all over the steak and the fries. At the very least, his food will just be very salty.

"Hey there, thanks for that!" Yazan said as he got back a couple of minutes later. They ended up continuing their conversation about the research they were respectively undertaking. Yazan asked about the fertility trials Mike helped with, including the male pregnancy trials, but made it very clear he wasn't surprised with the outcome.

The talking slowly turned to flirting, especially after Yazan finished his meal. He started feeling quite flustered, and vaguely horny. Of course, it helped that Mike was one of the cutest Aussies he had met here. Eventually, Yazan took off his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

"Looking good, doc" Mike said with a wink.

"If you want to see more, want to come back to my hotel?"

And with that, Yazan and Mike sauntered their way from Oxford Street, across Hyde Park towards Sydney Town Hall. Mike took his chance and reached towards Yazan's hand. Yazan latched on without question.

Once they got to Yazan's hotel room, it was almost instant how quickly they got their clothes off each other. They were like two horny rabbits going at it, and they were at it almost all night. Yazan felt such a rush of energy throughout the whole time, and never once felt tired or spent. Mike wondered if the hormones were doing their thing, but those thoughts were overruled by the fact he was fucking the hottest doctor in town!

Each time, Yazan urged to be the bottom, which he found unusual as he normally is the top. There was something about Mike that just made Yazan want to be fucked by him.. maybe it was the muscles hidden under Mike's suit? All Yazan understood was that he needed to be fucked now through any means.

They woke up the following morning, the bedsheets sprawled in every direction on top of Mike and Yazan. Mike woke up with his dick still in Yazan, and still rock hard. Sure enough, it appeared that Yazan was still eager to go when he started waking up and felt Mike still in him.

"I could honestly keep going all day, Mike. I feel like I'm 18 years old all over again!"

"Really?"

After one (or two) more loads in Yazan, they finally moved into the shower. Yazan's abs had become slightly misshapen from how much Mike came in him. It was a bit surreal for Mike to see, because it really did look like he was pregnant.

What have I done, Mike worried.

***

I haven't done this in quite a while, but finally getting around to getting the first part out of a longer-form story I've been thinking about. Let me know your thoughts!

[whyse7vn]

KIM SEOKJIN

RIGHT:

The moment doesn’t feel real.

You stare up at the white ceiling. The room is dark you can barely see it.

It’s late. How late?

You turn your head to the left a small digital clock now in view.

11:45 PM

It’s late.

The moment doesn’t feel real.

It’s like you’re here but you’re not here.

Your gaze is on the ceiling again. Your laying on your back, fingers intertwined resting on your stomach. Your mind thinks back to the clock.

The clock, there’s a shift in the covers next to you, that’s not your clock. Your eyebrows furrow, there’s another shift.

Oh

right.

That isn’t your clock. This isn’t your bed. You turn your head to the right. His back is to you. This isn’t your house.

“Jin?”

“Mmh?”

His response is instant. He turns around and cuddles into the side of your body. His head now rests in the crook of your neck. You can feel his breath on your skin. His right arm wraps around your torso.

Suddenly you’re hyper aware of everything. The clothes you wear despite being Jin’s and way too big for you, feel as if they’re tightening around your skin. The room feels busy. Your body is hot. The part of Jin’s body that rests ontop of you feels as if it’s burning.

You tell yourself this is normal. The sharing a bed part, the cuddling part. Ten years of friendship makes this normal, for you guys anyways too many secrets shared too many embarrassing moments witnessed to freak out over such trivial things.

Ten years of friendship.

Friendship?

Today felt like anything but ten years of friendship. He had cooked for you

just for you

on valentine’s day. No questions asked no plans made he just did.

He didn’t know you were coming but still did. For you.

Just for you.

You laughed, danced a little, drank a little, cleaned together, watched a movie and now you’re in bed together.

Just as friends?

No. There was too much tension in the air today, way too much tension. Sure Jin has never really shown any outward romantic interest in you like say Jungkook and Taehyung have but then again not everyone is Jungkook and Taehyung and not everyone shows affection and like Jungkook and Taehyung do.

Maybe you’re overthinking this. No you’re definitely overthinking this. You shouldn’t even be thinking about this.

Not even a full week ago you—

Guilty.

You feel guilty now, real fucking guilty.

You breath quickens. Your mind spiralling.

Taehyung and you just— and what about Jaehyun? Would Yoongi be mad? Is Hobi really ok? You should call Jimin but have you been ignoring Kook? what about Joon?? Isn’t it Jaehyuns birthday today? And Jin—

“Hey”

His voice gentle

concerned.

It brings you out of your spiral almost instantly.

“I’m here, don’t cry i’m here”

You were crying? You hadn’t even noticed.

Jin now sits up on his side, one arm supports his weight the other gently wipes your tears away.

“Breathe with me baby, breathe you can do that f’me can’t you?”

You nod your head not trusting your voice in the moment. Tears cloud your vision. You breathe.

Nothing feels real.

“There you go, doing so well let’s slow down a little yeah? It’s just you and me i got you nothings gonna hurt you i promise”

You wordlessly nod once more and attempt to slow down your breathing.

A few “Good girl”’s and “I’m here”’s later your tears stop and your breathing is back to a somewhat normal pace.

You’re embarrassed.

“I’m sorr—”

“You don’t need to apologise”

Your hands cover your face.

“What’s on your mind?”

It’s such a simple question but it almost brings you to tears once more.

What’s on your mind?

What isn’t?

Who isn’t?

You feel disgusting. Like a whore.

It’s ironic really. You’ve been called a whore for practically your whole career by fans, friends the media sometimes as a joke other times not. But you’ve never really felt like a whore sure you’ve done your fair share of sleeping around couple dates here and there but you’ve never felt as gross as you do now.

What’s on your mind?

You think back to Jin’s question.

“You” Its partly true.

“Me?”

“Yeah”

There a beat of silence.

You’re the one to break it.

“Do you think…

i’m a bad person?”

“I could never think you’re a bad person”

He pauses.

“We could never think you’re a bad person”

“We?”

“The remaining 6 of us i don’t need to name them do i?”

He smiles at you.

You frown, you’re not convinced.

“You don’t know that though”

“I know”

“Even if—”

“Even if. Especially if.”

“What?” You’re caught off guard by his answer.

“You don’t even know what i was gonna say”

“I have my theories”

“Which are?”

“How about we got theory for theory?”

“You’re the one with the theories i’m the one with the facts”

“I guess you’re right”

“I normally am”

“Normally?”

“Yeah…don’t really know if i’ve been doing things right lately”

“Why?”

You sigh.

What do you have to lose?

You look him in the eyes.

now or never

“I-i slept with Taehyung”

“And that wasn’t right?”

“Well it was. It-it felt right it was right but i didn’t just sleep with him it was more than that and-and now i’m here with you...”

“Being with me isn’t right?”

“No! i’m not saying that i’m just saying being with you feels right too and that isn’t right”

Jin doesn’t speak.

“Like i’m feeling things for too many people and that isn’t right”

You’re met with silence again. You feel defeated. You feel stupid. You feel exposed.

“Says who?”

You look at Jin puzzled.

“Well technically no one? but thinking about everyone’s feelings tells me it’s not right”

“Now that’s not right, personally i see no wrong in you feeling right with Tae and me”

“Really?”

“Really”

“You know when i say right i mean feelings? like i mean romantic feelings“

“I know”

He caresses your face.

“I’ve known”

His last sentence hits you hard for some reason. He’s known? He’s known that you were talking about romantic feelings? Or he’s known it’s not just him and Taehyung? Maybe he had known that you never really liked Jaehyun as much as you should have? Perhaps he had known you feel guilty? Known you can barely look yourself in the mirror anymore? Or is it that he had known you almost found yourself at Jimin’s apartment today?

“You don’t owe anyone anything you know that right?”

Your eyes sting. He continues.

“You shouldn’t feel like you have to choose. I would never make you choose. I know you need the other members as much as they need you as much as i need you. If being with them feels right as much as it feels right being with me who am i to deny you?”

There’s so much you could say right now. So many things you want to say, to ask. You open your mouth to speak but the words don’t seem to find you.

You bite your lip, tears spot your vision once more. You’ve cried an awful lot today first tears of guilt and now tears of sadness? Or perhaps it’s relief? You’re unsure.

Just like you’re unsure on whether this moment is real or not. Unsure if you’re even here. Unsure if this is right.

You can barely make out Jin’s figure between your watery vision and the darkness of the room. His hand now strokes your hair.

“Thank you” The only words you’re able to say. You don’t even know what you’re thanking him for or if you’re even thanking him.

“Thank you” You repeat. The only words that feel right to say in this moment.

He kisses your forehead “Let’s get some sleep yeah?”

—

1.3k words of pure shit my fault guys 😅🤗

if it wasn’t clear this was valentine’s day here for context

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

[moistvonlipwig]

hypothetically if i just sent you every heart in that ask as a lovely littlel rainbow…??? :D

I'm assuming for Supergirl again? ;)

I cut out a few that I just didn't have an answer for at all. The rest are under the cut. Again, kvetching about a CW superhero show awaits.

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

I have had to click out of so many fics because they feel the need to get in a throwaway dig at James that often has absolutely nothing to do with his canon characterization. ("He was only interested in Lena because he liked the prestige and perks of dating a billionaire!" No??? Wrong??? Do not pass Go??? Do not collect $200???)

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I don't agree with the idea that Kara is some sort of "genius" just because she's from Krypton. Being from a more '''advanced''' society (which is a thorny and problematic label in and of itself) does not make you ''smarter" than people from a '''less advanced''' society (see what I mean? Thorny and problematic). Living in a society with hyper-advanced technology doesn't mean that you know how that technology works or the fundamental principles that underlie its construction, especially if you are 13 years old. Also, even if you did, that is not inherently a more valuable form of knowledge than, say, knowing how to make dumplings – a skill I'm sure Kara herself would say is incredibly valuable, and which Kryptonians do not possess.

And that's not even getting into the fact that knowledge itself isn't the same thing as intelligence, which is a hard-to-define concept that has been historically used and still is used today in deeply problematic ways, but which I would argue is more about creativity, imagination, and the ability to generate new solutions to problems given the resources and education available to you than it is about simply knowing stuff. I certainly wish we got to see Kara display her resourcefulness, knowledge, & skills more often on the show, but fandom's insistence that she's actually way smarter than all these silly backwards primitive humans because she's from a planet that's made certain scientific advancements is incredibly fucking weird and frankly strikes me as the product of a colonialist mindset.

(I also just kind of think it's an uninteresting take on her character? She already has so many incredible abilities and interesting character traits, why does she ALSO have to be a "genius" who can rival Brainy & Lena in scientific thinking?)

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

Supercat, for all the reasons I listed in my other post, and Sanvers, because the whole whitewashing thing is really egregious to me and also the way they were written just kind of grated on my nerves. Also Agentcorp. No real reason, I have no zingers to deliver about it. I just don't see it.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

You and I have already talked about how I don't actually think Lena has a "one-strike policy", and how the only person she actually cut off after only one strike was Andrea, whose betrayal came at a time when Lena was extremely vulnerable. I believe I've also mentioned to you in an ask that I think people read her politics wrong -- a lot of people classify her as a conservative when she is, IMO, clearly a libertarian, hence her pro-business, pro-gun, anti-secret government agencies, generally socially progressive views. (Additionally, one of the quirks of Supergirl's casting is that they accidentally cast all of Lena's past friends/lovers as people of color, which has some truly fascinating implications about Lena's racial politics.)

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

Lena is the obvious answer, although the real truth about Lena is that she is, actually, quite morally all over the place, it's just that she's not any more morally all over the place than anyone else on the show. Andrea, also, I think gets a bad rap from some people and from the show itself, which I talked more about in my other post. Um...I don't think Clark is a bad person for leaving Kara with the Danverses? To quote one of Once Upon a Time's most repeated lines, he gave her her best chance. He wasn't ready to parent her and he knew it -- I think that takes real integrity to admit, actually. Does that mean Kara can't have complicated feelings about it? Of course not, but I don't think it's fair to say he "abandoned" her. Placing a child in a loving home is not "abandoning" them. It's quite the opposite.

(The Clark situation admittedly gets worse post-Crisis when suddenly he has two teenage sons who would've been born around the time Kara's pod landed, which means maybe Earth Prime Clark was down for being a parent but just didn't want to parent Kara specifically, which is much more dubious. But also, Crisis was very bad, so I prefer not to think about it.)

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

I guess it depends on if my options are "remove them vs. change how they were written" or "remove them vs. keep them as is"? If I have to keep them as is if I don't remove them, then the clear answer is Mon-El, whose presence I would argue damaged the show more irrevocably than any other writing decision.

If I can change how they were written, that's a different story -- Mon-El in the comics is a cool character and I think the show could've adapted his story in a genuinely interesting way. Imagine if, in S2, Kara had discovered a pod with an amnesiac child inside who appeared to be Kryptonian. Not only is she now just a little less alone, she now has a chance to make amends for her inability to take care of Clark! Except then we find out -- he's not Kryptonian, he's a Daxamite. The same species as Kryptonians, but they left Krypton ages ago (or were driven out -- perhaps the stories Kara was told as a child didn't tell the entire truth) and are known to be isolationist and xenophobic, with a particular hatred for Kryptonians. The Daxamite boy (who Kara named "Mon-El") gets accidentally exposed to lead, and Kara must banish him the way she herself was banished. Then, S3 comes along, and would you look at that - the Legion of Super-Heroes is here from the future! And their leader is none other than Kara's adopted baby brother Mon-El, now grown up and with all his memories returned to him. Cue drama! (While I'm making up a version of Supergirl that didn't exist, I'd also like this version of Mon-El to be Asian. We truly didn't need more white guys on this show.)

So if I were allowed to rewrite characters like that, I'd have to opt for getting rid of a character who wasn't just executed poorly, but conceived poorly as well. William is a pretty obvious choice, as they clearly only created him to be a love interest and had no earthly idea what to do with him when that didn't work out (or, well, at any point in time, actually). Even when the show moves him away from his S5 misogyny and his (kind of baffling, given how little effort she puts into the job he values so much) late S5-early S6 interest in Kara, the only character trait they can think up for him is "baking", which kind of says it all, really. Winn, I feel, is also extraneous; even if you get rid of his misogyny in S1, I just don't think we needed a nerdy white guy character. Lena and Brainy have the scientist role covered. So, IDK, either of them, I don't care lol.

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

I already talked about Guardiancorp in my previous post and that's probably my only actually unpopular ship. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

I don't think killing characters off truly fits with the vibe of the show, which is one of a long list of reasons why William's death was bad. If I could instead put a character on a bus, it'd probably be J'onn -- they clearly ran out of ideas for his character partway through the show (and David Harewood frankly seemed to run out of interest in portraying the character as well). Which, honestly, that usually happens with older male mentor figures in shows about young women coming into their own -- look at Giles post-S5 on Buffy, for example. IMO both M'gann and Malefic (both of whom actually did get put on buses to Mars in the show proper) would be much more interesting Martians to have on the show full-time.

[lbova]

I wanna take a moment to appreciate one of my most favorite bloggers of all: @fan-burns ✨✨

This is going to be a somewhat long rant about how much I adore this blogger. So buckle up!

It all started when I rediscovered one of my favorite childhood movies called Robots, made by Blue Sky Studios back in 2005. I decided to rewatch the movie and it's safe to say it's a pretty good movie. And ever since I rewatched the movie, I became hyper fixed on it. And what do people usually do when they get hyper fixed on a a movie/show? They look for content about them. Last year, I discovered Tumblr, and to my surprise, there were people that knew about the movie! There were fanarts, headcanons, fanfictions, etc. Of course, the Robots fandom wasn't very large, but that's what made it special. And then... it happened.

I found a Robots blogger unlike anyone I've come across before. And their name was the one the only... Fan Burns! I first discovered them when I found one of their Robots Deep Dives about how Rodney and Ratchet are similar yet different. I thought the Deep Dive was very interesting, so I viewed their blog to see what else the blog had to offer. And wouldn't you know it, they were an artist as well. So I took the time to scroll through their art. And I immediately fell in love with the art. They have this Robots Oc named Harvey, and i love him to death. After looking and admiring their art, I then discovered a fanfic they were working on. Apparently, they decided to write a fanmade sequel to Robots, which is simply called Robots 2. Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to read the fanfic. And do you know what happened after that? I became OBSESSED with the story. It was edgy, creative, and above all, the most amazing fanfic I've ever read in my entire life of reading fanfics! I have seen many fanfics of what it would be like if Robots had a sequel, but Fan Burns... you have outdone yourself. You have managed to grab my attention. Your fanfic made me so obsessed, that I constantly think about it. Every. Single. Day.

Fan Burns. I honestly can't believe how underrated you are. I feel like more people should read your fanfic and appreciate your art. You deserve all the love in the world. You are amazing, talented, creative, funny. And I know that you're also living your life to it's potential. You're doing what you can to just simply live your life to the fullest. So I know it's hard to update your fanfic when you're busy, and don't worry. I will always wait for whatever you have in store in the future. Whenever Chapter 19 comes out, I will be running in circles around my room. But I want you to take your time posting or updating anything. I want you to take as much time as you need. I remember when I asked you to draw Rodney and Cappy together, and the look on my face when you answered my question. I stared at that picture for 2 hours straight no cap. I still go back to that picture to admire it, even today.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you. You definitely deserve it. Love you, Fan Burns. If you do read this, thank you for listening to my crackhead self. And thank you to everyone else if you got to this point. Everyone, if you haven't yet, please go check them out! You will not be disappointed.

Yeah I'm posting this at midnight. And I don't care. Bye y'all!!

[lykaios2]

how aboutttt hcs of mikey comforting reader who is usually super positive n hyper and never really has bad days?? :,)

or any sort of mikey comfort <3 OHH AND towards the end when reader cheers up, make sure they give mikey lots of affection and gratitude <3<3<3 please :)

uhhh

so I said screw hcs and did a full blown fanfic

also this can be taken as platonic or romantic!

hope you enjoy! ❤️

Not Like Yourself

mikey x reader, hurt(?)/comfort

You and Mikey were like peas in a pod. The day you met, you immediately hit it off. Your energies matched. You two seemed to bounce off of each other. Always side by side, the best of companions. You were crazy energetic, insanely creative, and always had a positive attitude. Always going on crazy adventures, doing whatever insane thing you guys could think up.

So one day when he was not greeted by you with a hug that would gave nearly toppled him, he was a little confused. Of course, he still ran over and gave you a hug. As he did, he lifted you up into the air a little.

"Hey, y/n!"

He was so cheerful. And normally so were you. But what happened? You just...weren't feeling it today. The spark that normally filled you to the brim with energy was gone. You put on a smile so Mikey wouldn't be worried, and returned his greeting.

"Hi, Mikey. How's it going?"

"I'm doing great, now that you're here!"

He set you down, and took your arm to lead you to the kitchen. As you sat down, he started pulling things out of the cupboards and the refrigerator. He whipped together a quick snack for himself and you, and slid you over your plate.

"Eat up! We've got a big day today. I found a new place for us to explore, and it's a big one. I'll pack us some more snacks while you eat."

You slowly ate your food, all the while staring off into space. It wasn't that you were bored. In fact, your interest had been piqued when Mikey mentioned a new spot to explore, but it wasn’t showing on your face. Your mind was other places. Why were you so...out of it? It was a weird feeling, one that was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable.

"Here's your snacks. You ready to go?...y/n?"

"Oh, sorry...thank you."

Mikey was about to start walking out, but he looked at your with concern on his face. He'd already noticed your lack of energy, which wasn't too unusual for you. It had happened a few times in the past, and by itself it didn't mean anything was wrong. But now he took note of you spacing out. Of course, being emotionally aware as he was, he knew something was up.

He sat back down. You had gone back to staring off into who knows where. He grabbed your hand from across the table and gave it a little squeeze. You looked back at him and smiled again, but noticed his worried demeanor.

"You okay?"

"Mhm...but I'm worried about you. You seem a little...out of it."

"Yeah...I guess you could say that."

You both sat in silence for a little while longer. You didn't know what to say, yet Mikey was still waiting for you to speak. He put his head in his free hand while he waited, but before long he spoke up again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You sighed before responding.

"I don't know what to say...I just don't have energy today. Something’s got me down. I dont know what happened, but my mood isn't the best today. I don't like it."

"Yeah, I get that. And that's okay. Sometimes it happens. It's just part of life."

He smiled at you. It was infectious now, as you felt a smile of your own come across your face.

"Tell you what...we can take a little relax day today. We don't have to go anywhere or do anything crazy. Just...have a calm day, until you feel better. Does that sound good?"

You nodded, much to his enjoyment. He scooped you up in another big hug before apologizing, reminding himself that it was a calm day today. You laughed and told him it was okay.

"Come on, let's go make some tea, why don't we?"

After he made some tea for the both of you, he brought lots of blankets and pillows into the living room. He grabbed all of his arts and crafts supplies, and all of his movies, and and all of his comics. Every indoor activity he could think of, he brought into the living room. You two spent hours together, just like you usually did, but only this time it was in the safety of one's home.

It was getting late. The two of you were still in the living room, alone. The TV was on, playing your favorite movie. You had finished all the snacks and done lots of things, and it was now time to wind down. You and Mikey were sitting next to each other, enjoying the movie.

"Hey...Mikey?"

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Thank you...for today. I don't know what was wrong earlier, but it's not so bad now. I feel a lot better."

Mikey smiled and said it was no problem. He was just glad to see you happy. As he turned back to the movie, he felt your head rest on his shoulder. He appeared to take take no note of it at first, but then he lifted his arm and wrapped it around you, pulling you closer and resting his head on yours.

As you watched the movie, you could slowly feel yourself falling into unconscious. Mikey could feel it too, as your body grew limp as you leaned against him. He grabbed a pillow and laid it in his lap, instructing you to lay there instead. As you moved your head, you held his arm close to you, not wanting to let go as you finally fell asleep.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary406

11/2-3/24

saturday - sunday

gotsa sleep soon.

so despite today being a long and tiring day, i won't be able to put much here about it, but it wasn't bad. i was just sort of dysphoric i guess. like crashing after a sugar rush. it's so much for my tiny nerves to have any positive attention, it's always like this. it has to come slowly, for me to be inoculated.

but, we saw some very fun stuff today, and we're gonna see fun stuff tomorrow!! i have to correct one thing, yesterday i said the owner of hypercore was hiroshi... i was misremembering, it was / is hisashi. i'm dumb!!

so we saw the fashion show this year, that they do at this con. i'd like to walk again in it... like we did the first year. but idk. you never know what you'll walk in and stuff. there was this one brand, ac unit, the woman who runs it with her sister, they were the ones who did the marina and samarie cosplay from yesterday!! this was their first fashion show, i cannot find their instagram!! wow, that is sad. i'll try and find it tomorrow. ummmmm, their little thing made me emotional because the woman who was up there, she started crying talking about how much she loved her sister and mother and how much they helped her, in life and with the making of the garments. she started crying a lot talking about her mom, and then her experience with j-fashion and how it helped her make so many friends, and i wonder about like, where you make those friends... it's always seemed so exclusionary to me but these people are so kind, and this con has a lot of j-fashion stuff where people are making garments that are made with people who have sensory issues and things... they're considerate, and most j-fashion stuff i see a lot is like, hyper-crazy popularity stuff.

we also saw that japanese brand hypercore do their walk, very cute and cool, and a couple others, ghost girl goods was one and she's very kind, it's really incredible how hard she seems to try to get j-fashion brands out there to new people at cons, to make it more of a thing people can tangibly interact with, you know. she works hard at that. it is very nice to see.

after that we milled about for a while, we went to the bowling alley, saw miura ayme do a panel of q&a, then after that, jiluka did their q&a, then we went for food. both q&as were good, of special note, miura ayme said he really likes gunbuster, as far as anime goes, and also dorohedoro, which i still have not read and ought to, but the gunbuster being a favorite is crazy to me. made me feel nice to hear that.

the food was good, i was sleepy, i took selfies in the bathroom let me see if those are okay. it was korean food it was really good actually i ate kimchi fried rice with spam in it... i need to get spam soon. i love cooking with it.

here i am:

i was so sleepy there, i was laying down in the booth we had with my head on my purse. which my gf seemed to like.

then we saw miura ayme perform live, which was cute, fun idol j-rock, then waited for the rave, went to that until we were all kicked out... the guy started the rave with born slippy!!! it got progressively less cool as time went on but that got a lot of good will from me. so i danced, i'm sure my feet will hurt a ton tomorrow since i didn't wear dancing shoes!!

uhmmm, i should sleep now, though, not a lot to say really i guess, ultimately a busy normal day which keeps lots of ruminating away, which is good, because i'll process things i saw, and stuff i recorded later, and it'll give me interesting things in my head.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zozo-01]

HAPPY 200 FOLLOWERS ZO MY BELOVED <33

i'm here in your inbox with a lil fic request for your 200 follower special 👀

how's about the first meeting between our fav arab angel and desi darlin' (like when darlin' first comes back to the pack after having dipped to washington 👀)

Hala, my love, me beloved, one of the best enablers I have. FUCK YEA IMMA WRITE SOME DESI DARLIN' AND ARAB ANGELLL!!!! For since both 'desi' and 'arab' are super broad terms, I'm going to specify it so its Pakistani!Darlin' and Lebanese!Angel. (Jeez I wonder why those two nationalities. >.>)

CW: while Angel is gender neutral, they are described as wearing a hijab

"and where you go (you'll always find a piece of home)."

Angel looked at the itinerary on David's clipboard. Most of it was the usual. Checking up on how the pack is doing, informing them what jobs Shaw Security received and reminding them that covert was still prevalent and had to be maintained. (Asher, can you please stop shifting in front on the Pizza Guy before the Department gets on our ass?)

But at the bottom of the page, they found a special note. A line that he had boldened and underlined, something he only does in special occasions. (Him announcing Angel as his mate was one of those said occasions.)

'Tank's coming back today, and I swear if someone gives them shit, they will be dealt with.'

Oh? Well this meeting just got a whole lot interesting.

Angel hadn't met the famous 'Tank', only knowing of them from the stories the other wolves told them, mainly from Amanda and Milo. From what they gathered, Tank was a loner, a scarred, no-nonsense person who will fight when provoked.

They had asked Milo if Tank and David were the exactly the same. Milo shook his head.

"No, they ain't similar in the slightest. Like, they're similar, but Tank's always been... kinder? I know it sounds like they're mean, but they've always had a soft edge to them, don't let that dead face say otherwise."

Every new piece of information made Angel desperate to meet them, to figure out what kind of person they are. And now they'll get the chance to.

"Here Angel, some of your hair is showing," he says as he tucked their hair back under their scarf. The fact that David would do little things to make them comfortable made their heart swoon. It also meant that people were going to enter soon. That Tank was coming too.

--

For someone who's hyper early to everything, Darlin' sure as hell took their sweet time getting to the meeting.

Thankfully, they timed their arrival perfectly. They weren't too late, nor were they early enough for someone to berate them before the meeting starts. For the record, they were only here because David would absolutely drag their ass to this meeting. (And Sam would be disappointed in them.)

The meeting went on as it always does. Most of it went over their head, though they couldn't hide their smile when David had brought up Asher's Pizza Guy shenanigans. 'Still the same idiot as ever.'

Less important details were shared, causing Darlin' to zone out a bit. They didn't need to retain irrelevant information, and they were here for already an hour. Darlin' deserves to let their mind wander to a certain vampire they've been spending time with.

And by the time they zoned back in, the meeting was over and people were leaving. They took a deep breath. 'It's ok, it's only David, you have dealt with worse.'

"Tank, get over here!"

"Ya Hmar, David! You could have called them over nicely!"

Before they registered that maybe they shouldn't be laughing at their Alpha, Darlin' doubled over laughing. The simple insult had brought back years of old memories, leaving them damn near dying on the ground.

Through teary eyes, they saw David's unimpressed face and his mate's amused expression. Darlin' remembered where they were and who was in front of them, straightening up and wiping the tears off their face. They cleared their throat, apologizing for their outburst.

Before David could start berating Darlin', Angel hesitantly asked them, "so, um, weird question, and super intrusive, so if you don't want to answer I get it..." Angel trailed off, only continuing when Darlin' nodded their head. "Are you maybe Arab? Like I don't see someone laugh like that unless they know what hmar means, but I didn't want to assume-"

Darlin's smile cut the rambling human off. "I'm not Arab, but I'm Pakistani, so I pick up on a lot of arab words." They snickered, "and I got called a hmar a lotttt back home."

"You had Arab friends?" They said it with such shocked, Darlin' thought it was the first time they'd heard a phrase like that.

"Yea, they were Lebanese and-"

"THEY WERE LEBANESE??" Angel pounced on that piece information, asking more questions that Darlin' was willing to answer.

(David, realizing that neither Angel and Darlin' remembering that he is in the room left with a smile. If there was anyone who would bring Tank back it be them.)

An hour go by, and Darlin's cheeks were hurting. When was the last time they laughed this hard? Talked for this long? Reminisced about the days before Dahlia?

Angel fidgeted with their hands. "I'm sorry for keeping you in for this long. It's just- I love the pack, but I can never talk like this," they gestured to the space between them and Darlin', "with them. They just wouldn't... get it."

Darlin' tipped their head back with a smile. "I get it. And if you ever need to talk like this again, hit me up and I'll be there." They held their hand out.

Angel took their hand and shook it. "Being goofy like this, brings me back, ya know? It almost feels like-"

"Like home?"

"Yea, like home."

[kuiperblog]

M3GAN: a movie about being a modern mom

It was as good as I had hoped.  I was actually a bit surprised to see that this film had a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, because it wasn’t amazing, but it is plausibly the kind of movie that could make 95% of critics say, “Yeah, that was pretty good, I guess!” It’s the kind of movie that doesn’t really have any bad parts, but does have a few things that made me think, “Oh, I wish they’d done a little more with that idea.”

I’m usually not much for “creepy doll” horror, but it’s much more of a “rogue AI” story. That said, while M3GAN has more in common with Ex Machina than Chuckie when it comes to setting and premise and subject matter, it’s not really making any attempt to be “high art,” and so the marketing for the movie (which emphasizes the fact that M3GAN does Fortnite dances) isn’t exactly selling the movie short.

Then again, maybe Ex Machina actually sold itself short by not including its own dance scene in the marketing. Certainly, dancing Oscar Isaac would have sold a few movie tickets.

I went to the 7:30 Friday showing of M3GAN, with my reasoning being that a campy horror movie is one occasion on which I am glad (eager, even) to share a theater with a bunch of rowdy teenagers.  In retrospect, I made a slight miscalculation: this is a PG-13 movie, and I was seated right in front of two parents and their son (who I would estimate to be somewhere around age 12), who piped up several times throughout the movie to inform them that he wasn’t scared and didn’t have to leave the theater.  (New policy: wait until the 10 PM showing for PG-13 horror?)

Also, the movie has Brian Jordan Alvarez in a supporting role (his first major theatrical role?) which came as a pleasant surprise.

I went to see the movie entirely on the strength of a recommendation from Alyssa Rosenberg (who is among my favorite movie critics), and because her “review” got me to see the movie (and didn’t make me regret the decision), I share it now with you, by way of an Across the Movie Aisle podcast transcription:

Sonny: Alyssa, you’re not a horror movie fan, but you did like this movie a lot, what appealed to you about it?

Alyssa: I did. Thinking about this as a ‘murder doll’ horror movie is wrong. This is actually a satire about contemporary mom-ing. Obviously it’s there on the surface to some extent: Gemma [the protagonist of the film] is not sure that she’s meant to be a parent. But the film is shot through with all of these little jokes that you basically only get if you are scrolling Mom Instagram all the time. ... You have a therapist talking about attachment theory, you have that very funny scene at a ‘prospective students day’ at this new school where this mom of this very obvious awful boy is blathering on about all these theories about how “defiant kids end up being the most intelligent.”  And so, the whole thing is like being plunged into the culture of contemporary moms.

It’s very much about the expectations that moms put on themselves. ... Gemma is an interesting character, because she is kind of a cold fish. She is sort of bad at this.  But the climax of the movie is very much about her embracing her own imperfection and saying, “I’m a better parent, in my failures, because I can learn, because I recognize that for every rule there is an exception, because I can read this kid, and because I recognize that discomfort is part of learning to grow as a human being.”  It’s an assertion of the value of individual parenting, even by a flawed parent, over the homogenized advice of the internet, over the supposed hyper-optimization of a robot. It’s just a very funny movie about being a mom today. ... Viewing it as a ‘mom satire’ rather than a ‘scary doll satire’ I think made it land very differently.

Sonny: I can see that. Those parts of the movie are the best-written stuff in the movie for sure, the whole kind of ‘mommy wars’ aspect of it. 

[tinyhousepanther]

Todays I-am-very-high-and-have-recently-rejoined-tumblr-because-I’ve-realized-I-need-more-social-interaction-but-tumblr-is-all-I’ve-got-the-energy-for thought is

… drum roll….

the most personal, soul exposing thing I think I could ever do, would be to let some one go through my ao3 bookmarks, even the private ones…. Like the amount of #asexual ♠️ 🐉🌌who kinda likes monsterfucking vibes but is also a depressed millennial who was into Harry Potter and anime and tumblr of yore. Yeesh, how cringe and vulnerable that would be.

Because I like to write when very high and used to write poetry as a moody teen. A good old internet rant into the void. This will get long and old school text formatting like the book House of Leaves is a thing I really love so weird punctuation and spacing ahead.

Also the recursive footnotes in the bartimaeus series

Also, also recently returned to tumblr… lured like a siren into this hell scape of super niche fandoms…. I blame @strange-aeons for making me nostalgic for this place.

On that note. I am actually editing this but mostly because my brain wanted to add things as I read this over for typos because cringe.

Nostalgia leads to reminiscing. I think it was @blackkatmagic who said in a note, that like some niche pairing of fandom like a ship no one asked for but one person dreamed of and a handful of other people liked, is like being in a little boat with them.

(And I had to go find that post so here it is)

And I really like that idea and I like writing stream of consciousness rants when high and also graphs, like data visualization, because I’m an engineer. So a nerd for Venn diagrams that are cool. Like can I make a web diagram bubble graph combo with bubble size for intensity of interest and lines to show how one community spawned an interest in another community? Maybe throw in a color scale for vibes? Like who are the landmarks I use to remember my internet past. Is this what mark zuckerburg is aiming to make for all of us? Can someone build this digital map of my psyche?

Let’s start listing citations to make this glorious journal paper of a post. Giving @strange-aeons or @danielhowell vibes but also @somemorenews and also @scishow and @fishingboatprocceeds energy.

This is like just feeling the need to give a good old trying to describe a very specific mood rant that live journal used to be for.….

Those vibes somehow. Also of course I listen to a lot of podcasts. Like @tanispodcast or @welcometonightvaletranscripts

Who is in this very niche intersection? How narrow of an audience am I?

Or ,

am I yearning for early days Facebook where you just liked a bunch of shitty pages that were just topics. Like quizilla was a window of my internet childhood/preteen (that’s a lie Neopets was first…….)

Which reminds me to also include @dilfosaur and @drawfee. Why do I love the sonic butthole saga so? Is Todd from Mario made manifest into the universe like a tulpa? Am I getting to last podcast on the left now? Do we need to get a net for me??? 🗑�� trap me under a wastebasket like a cat?

God I feel like I’m trying to write a phd thesis on my personality as described via citations of tumblr blogs and other early internet social media. Can I put footnotes in a tumblr post? No. Does my probably autistic ass want them so I can make a hyper detailed thing fully describes a hyper focus moment? Yes. Can I make a whole power point of just internet citations? Yes. Do I have the energy? No.

Should

Be narrating this? I wish, would be interesting if someone I’m citing replies or interacts with this.

Not to brag, but hey I actually did write a phd thesis and some one said it was good enough to give me a fancy piece of paper. I am doctor. Why am I still sad then? Oh, that’s mental illness right. Another citation for a mood elyse meyers

Is this stream of consciousness prose that I am writing while very high and curled in a blanket on my couch while having been overcome by emotion from a fanfic I was reading about a super random cross over of two media from my childhood? Then yes this is me. I am a garbage gremlin of a person who is shockingly successful in life despite my very fun depression and health issues who has way too many parasocial relationships in proportion to real world actual humans I see and interact with on a daily basis.

Is it not the human experience to try and communicate who we are to the world? The innate desire to be seen and known?

Or is that way to high brow for me just wanting to list a bunch of things I like so when I’m having a bad day I can come to this post and just be like…. Oh yeah I did like that one thing.

Like that one video by Drew/Danny/Kurtis that somehow always makes me laugh. Like that friend I had who I could also make laugh by playing the look at this graph vine? 📊. Yes like that. So this my reminder that hey stuff is good and joyful and cringe sometimes, so on the bad days go look at this stuff. I feel @danielhowell has thoughts on this.

That’s it. I should go to sleep. It’s midnight and I have work tomorrow and my cat is glaring at me because we are not snuggling yet.

P.S.

Tumblr really is just MySpace but somehow worse? Yet it’s what we have.

And really the porn had never left. What were they thinking they could do/are doing about it? Like hello tumblrlive makes this app so nsfw to scroll at work when I’ve got time to kill. But also sometimes I want to look at art someone has posted and I’ve got a notification.

[dreamingoftinystars]

I’m doing one more reading wrap up for 2022 because I want to share some of my favorite reads with all of you so here are my top 10 books of 2022 in no particular order! (Note: this does not include any of alice oseman’s work because they would be the majority of the list, and this list does not include any Harper Collins books because whilst I have no influence from my silly little blog we do not cross picket lines here <3)

1) Frizzy by Claribel A. Ortega

I do not know how to explain to anyone what this book means to me. Whilst I am white and not explicitly represented via this book, I have really funky hair that I was judged for throughout my life and can be really fucking frustrating to deal with. This book made me feel through some solace that I was not alone in that struggle. In a lot of ways, it healed my inner child and my current self because I was seeing those scenes of her mom struggling to do her hair and I saw myself and how much of a struggle doing my hair used to be. This book meant the world to me. And is only one of two graphic novels on this list (considering how many graphic novels I read I’m surprised there aren’t more). 

2) What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo

My therapist gave me this book to read, and I had no idea when I picked it up how impactful this would be for me. I know the popular memoir of the year was Jennette McCurdy’s, and I did read that and found it to be absolutely heart breaking and wonderfully written. But this book changed me. It was one of the best books I have ever read. The content is not light, but as someone who has diagnosed PTSD and has been told they have CPTSD by their therapist- this book fucking wrecked me and showed me that I am worthy of love and that my trauma does not need to define me. This book is so important to me.

3) In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

This is another memoir about trauma, specifically dealing with domestic abuse this time, but it’s done in a very unique way. I recently read House of Leaves, which is a fictional horrorish book and it reminded me pretty strongly of this book when I read it. The way in which Machado utilizes the house to be representative of this terrible situation was really well written. As someone who has existed in a house in a not great situation, this book really sat with me.

4) This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

I know that I am so basic for this one, but it is genuinely so good. This book is so hit or miss for people, and it absolutely hit for me. The storytelling, the relationship, the heart break. This story killed me. I devoured it in such a short amount of time, and it has yet to leave my brain. I love this book so much. It is one of my all time favorites. 

5) Chemical Gardening for the Amateur by Charles Henry Connors and Victor A. Tiedjens

This is such a random pick I know, but part of why I loved this book so much is that it is a book about chemical gardening from 1939 that I got from a local bookstore where they had miss marked it as $3.00 and they gave it to me for that price (it is definitely worth more than that). But it is so cool. Reading about how these techniques that we still use today were being developed and showing how people can use them for their own gardens and plants is so fucking neat????!! Also there were so many pretty pictures in it. I read this fairly quickly whilst at my girlfriend’s house because I just hyper focused on it and loved every moment of it.

6) When You Trap a Tiger by Tae Keller

This is one of my favorite middle grade books that I have ever read (like genuinely). Part of why this book hit me so hard is that my grandmother was at the hospital the exact day that I read this. I had genuinely no clue what this book was about, and it relating to that type of event made this book hit even closer to home. It was a really good story overall though.

7) The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green

As someone who has OCD, it was so interesting reading a memoir (ish) by someone else who has OCD and seeing the overlapping in our general thinking patterns. I am a fan of John Green’s work (Turtles All The Way Down is a super important book for me), but this collection of short stories or remarks was just something that I really enjoyed reading. It was not like earth shattering, but it was a really good book. 

8) Sick Kids in Love by Hannah Moskowitz

I love chronic illness representation so much. This was probably my favorite romance that I read this year. Whilst I do not have the specific conditions that the MCs had, the general like problems that come from having chronic illnesses was something that I significantly related to. And getting to see a romance where those aspects were included is something that was really really nice for me. It was also just a really fun teen romance book (I am a sucker for romcoms).

9) The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen

This is literally the book that I recommend to people when they tell me that they want to try a graphic novel. It is like a middle grade to early young adult read, but it is one of my favorite graphic novels. It does a really cool thing with utilizing traditional Vietnamese fairy tales or folk stories to weave this story between modern day and the past. It was a really interesting way to showcase generational trauma, and a new way of discussing the immigrant experience that I have not seen before. It is also queer representation! And the art style is absolutely brilliant!

10) Yerba Buena by Nina LaCour

I am a Nina LaCour bitch. Her work is always outstanding in my opinion (at least her newest releases). I really enjoy the way in which she weaves a story together. I very much so enjoyed this like non-traditional take on a romance centric story. For me, a lot of books with a romance centric plot line have become just romcoms and whilst there is nothing wrong with that, I prefer having some substance to the plot in a lot of instances. I personally feel like LaCour does that really well. This book was so good in my opinion.

I know this is a long post, so I won’t make it longer. But thank you if you read my thoughts at all. And I hope whatever reading you partake in is fulfilling for you (or whatever media you choose to consume)!!

[9w1ft]

I was reflecting on how thankful I am that celebrities are speaking up about beauty standards, age standards, etc... When I was a kid around 13, I was being rowdy with a couple of friends, and I accidentally hot injured. I now have a scar inside my forearm that you can see if you know it's there. But for a while, it was very visible. I remember back then, I wanted to be a comedian slash musician slash singer slash astronaut. And I was absolutely crushed because all the people in my magazine were perfect. They didn't have scars. I'd destroyed my future career! I cried for days (and obviously didn't tell my parents why). Back then, social media didn't really exist and I didn't have access to it. So I didn't know you could even make giant tattoos disappear. That people have scars and imperfections and there are many ways to have them. Or that in the 2020s, you'd see teenagers with TV show that have acne rather than 30 somethings playing 16 year olds... I just knew face lifts were a thing and that they made you look odd. The impact the perfect glossy people had on me was brief, but shocking, when I look back. So, with the avalanche of glossy people that are face tuned and made up and surgically 'improved' that today's world allows, I'm very glad for advocates that go against the grain. The ones that say 'average thighs don't look like this and they're healthy and lovely', the ones that say 'I'm going grey, I've got wrinkles, and I'm still interesting and I can still act wonderful stories that will keep you entertained', the ones that say 'this industry is toxic and it will steamroll you into a mold without concern about whether it'll kill you, if you let it', the ones that say 'queer people exist, die mad about it', the ones that say 'yes I'm handicapped, and I got the role', the ones that say 'I'm telling a story about this region of the world so I decided to cast people from there and get a team that know it and its history so my movie feels real', etc... They're healthy pushbacks to standards and stereotypes and I'm grateful for them. As for the scar, well... It's a reminder of falling out of trees in my wilder days, and my lover likes to kiss it because they say there's a constellation on my skin, and it's playing connect the dots. 🥰

yeah it’s this interesting progression throughout the generations of self-image, where in some aspects it feels like kids are given much more realistic media representation and at the same time you’ve got the horrors of social media 😟

i just think about how hyper sexual tv was growing up like every once in awhile i’ll run into old tv clips from like TRL or something and think about how all this was normal but marketed as aspirational.

not that things aren’t hyper sexual right now too but there’s just something different about it.

sidenote for you anon, a podcast recommendation, i love how kate kennedy recounts growing up in the 90s and 00s on her bethereinfive podcast. she touches on this kind of body image stuff in so many episodes so it’s hard to give a single recommendation but it’s all examined in such a comedic but passionate way that always fully captures my attention.

[pixelzombie]

Today, I've been thinking about who I am, how I identify, who I would ideally be. I have many resources and opportunities that could easily lead me to a life of satisfaction. Part of me thinks my incessant worry about the future will ensure its doom, part of me thinks I can't avoid doom unless I obsess over it and protect myself painstakingly. Thing is, I'm not even good at protecting myself when I have the blatant ability. I'm not even good at protecting myself when I know I'm being hurt and others are begging me to protect myself. Worrying is twice the torture, ignorance is bliss, go with the flow, etc. I finally got that paperwork done though, and I am going to try to start taking 5-HTP. I've seen really mixed reviews. I am desperate. I've also seen people on Reddit saying those who are affected by my ailments should steer clear, but my ailments are the reason I'm interested in this supplement in the first place. I've accepted that anything that'll help my mood and cognitive symptoms will surely make me a spooked out paranoid mess. I've been a chronic stoner for years despite the weed making many parts of my health decline. I often say I'd rather be crazy and happy than hyper-aware and miserable.

Who am I, though? It seems counterproductive to try to be a certain way, or to define myself rigidly. Although, I often get the feeling that I will just be a perpetual mess without strict guidelines to follow. Being myself, I have been tirelessly working on specific, goal-oriented guidelines to follow. I am horrible with keeping habits, and I get the feeling that if I can procure the perfect regimen then I will finally have my shit together. That looks different in my eyes than it does to the general public, I think. Having my shit together means being happily independent, keeping up with all the little moving parts of life like appointments and errands, have my chores done regularly, have my hygiene in good shape, have my eating habits under control, have satisfying leisure time, stay out of trouble. I want to be more easy going and confident. I reckon I'm tired of being the foolish, self-indulgent, neurotic, hysterical child I've been for so long. I almost feel like an entirely new person, and I'm realizing how grandiose and fucked up my perception of myself used to be. I was deeply insecure while feigning confidence and it showed. I was crude, loud, flashy, oblivious, and naive. I don't even know how I got to that point, or how I was so unaware, but I never want to let it happen again. Before all this realization, I didn't even realize you can "choose" your own friends. I guess I figured you were just always stuck with whoever took interest in you, I only recently realized that you can choose and curate your friend group to be made up of people who share your goals or interests, people who are on a similar maturity level to you, people who participate in the same cultures, people who you find mutual interest in, etc. When it was really hard for me to make friends, I was desperate, and the behaviors that stemmed from the desperation have locked me into situations that I never had to be in. Friends that didn't suit me or understand me, friends that saw me as an easy target, friends who made fun of me or ignored me. This is avoidable as long as I gatekeep myself way better. When I get back to school, I am going to be very selective with who I allow myself to spend a lot of time with. I am very done with anti-recovery culture, immature/childish people, people who are obsessed with social media, people who are snarky or rude, people who can't take accountability, people who sensationalize terrible things, people who are preoccupied with themselves, I'm done with making friends who can't keep up with me, who only talk about mental illness or constantly casually bring it up, who make excuses for their behavior, who don't self-reflect, who are passive-aggressive, who are insensitive, who lie, who view me as another or a novelty because of my ailments, who nitpick, etc. Just so amazed that I ever got to the point of having the types of friends I've had. The following feed on my instagram gives me insight for the horrible culture I've surrounded myself with. People who are refusing to move past their old ways of thinking. It's honestly a lot of diagnosis braggarts, and I guess I was attracted to that sort of thing as a kid because of my pretty damning diagnoses and the effect that has on a kid. I felt isolated, but online were hundreds of people going on and on and on about their diagnoses for "awareness" (Ha Ha) or whatever. Online, there were communities of people fighting over the rareness and seriousness of their own diagnoses. I fit right in with a rare and serious diagnosis. I entered the community, confident to spam about my mental health, but it was different. Eventually, in the community, I was either pestered about my diagnosis and put on a weird pedestal for it, constantly asked questions by people who were worried they had what I had (never even close. MAYBE once, but they usually apparently didn't even actually know the symptoms before they came to me about it) or, on the contrary, people just saw me as weird. Maybe even attention-seeking. I have even been accused of faking and self-diagnosing a couple times.

The community doesn't solely consist of mental illness lovers. There's a pretty even mix of drug addicts, fandom friends, straight-up histrionics, covert 4chan dwellers, and individuals I'd known in real life. I can't say it's a niche that doesn't technically suit me, right? Mental illness, fandom, 4chan... Yeah, sure. But, why would I want to be constantly surrounded by the actual worst parts of my personality. Why feed into that? WHY curate an online experience that validates and encourages the worst parts of my entire self? Exactly, I think instagram actually stunted my own development. I probably could've reached this progress point by the age of 15 if I didn't own an emo fan account at that very time. Anyway, this account is also an opportunity for me to curate a following list that supports the good aspects of myself and encourages me to be the best version of Me I could possibly be.

[funtimespringscare101]

{This is part 1 of my new Sonic.EXE OC’s Story: EX1LE.CHR Everything here is either inspired by the Source Material of Xeno, X etc, or completely new. Please show support if you like this}

Date: September 12th 2010

I always loved Sega’s Sonic Franchise. Well, at least as much as the next person… but today was the day I may have started thinking that Sonic may not be really a good thing to be hyper fixated on…

So I run a YouTube Channel with my friend Maya called “SonicBrosYT” where we do let’s plays of any new Sonic Game, and it’s going pretty well. A while ago, Maya called me about a pretty interesting Sonic Rom Hack that someone made, and I was excited so I asked her to send the link over Email. There was no turning back from that point.

I download the ROM Hack and I see it on my desktop, but alongside it, there was a file named Sonic.CHR. I just thought it was a cool little thing that whoever made the game did, and booted up the Hack.

I found out that in this Hack, Tails has become a hero in his own right and went Solo. The Game also had more detailed art of the OG levels from Sonic. I also noticed the new sprites for him had Goggles and a utility belt. I was near the end of Green Hill Zone when a red ring appeared and Tails fell through. The screen was black for a moment before a new title card came up, reading Flaming Hills.

And sure as hell, Green Hill Zone came up. On fucking Fire. “What the Hell?” I thought, “this is getting way too dark.” But I continued through the level and near the end of it, a cutscene played, there were bodies of Mobians and blood everywhere, whoever made this went all out with the gore.

And in right there was what I thought was Sonic at first but it was a dark shade of Purple, it had a duffel bag and a chocolate neckerchief with it too. Tails look surprised, “Sonic, Thank Mobius You are…” He paused weirdly, Sonic turned around and I could see the two eyelashes that told me that whoever she was was not Sonic. “Here…” Tails finished.

“Sonic” was terrified, crying tears of blood as she looked at Tails. “Where am I? This isn’t the void…” She said before she squinted her eyes at Tails and seemed surprised. “Hey, I recognize you! You’re Tails, Right? Sonic’s Sidekick?”

Tails looked uneasy, “umm, former sidekick, actually. Who exactly are you?”

“Oh, I’m… Xenatia. Sorry, I’m kind of a big fan…”

“That’s Okay,” Tails Replied, “Let’s just get you out of here. We can go to my Workshop and we can talk about how you got here…”

She Nodded, and Tails ran back, supposedly to the Tornado, but Xenatia… just stood there for a moment. The camera started zooming in on her. Then, she turned to face… me. The Screen turned to black and text reading, “Oh Hi There, What’s your name, Player?” appeared, “Do you want to play a game with me?” the Hack closed after that.

I’m still trying to piece together what happened, Xenatia spoke to me. ME. It may be just a little piece of gameplay from whoever created this thing but… how could she know I was there? I’ll keep playing the Hack and updating this as I go along…

See you on the next post.

Keith Westwood

[jade-parcels]

How you turn them on

The things you do that aren’t inherently sexual but really get em going with: Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Baizhu, and Albedo

Part 2 here!

- NOTSFW!! Minors don’t interact with this post! -

——————————————————

Kaeya:

He loves everything about you! He’s always hyper analyzing you to gauge your reactions to flirty jokes or loving touches

He thinks about you all the time, thinks about all the ways he could make love to you. He could sneak you into his office or pull you into an alleyway or just stay home to have a romantic night together. The possibilities are endless

Something you really do that gets him going is when you praise him. Surprise surprise, pretty boy likes when you compliment him. Your remarks don’t even have to be inherently sexual at all “I loved getting to listen to your speech today! You’re such a good public speaker!” “Ooo~ Your hair looks great today!” “There you are, Captain~ You better bring that pretty ass of yours down the the Angel’s Share tonight!” “You’re so strong, Kaeya, thanks for helping me out tonight!”

Your voice rings out in his head all day and night, he loves the way you call him strong and handsome. He KNOWS he is, he just likes hearing it from you. Maybe a little too much

He’ll show off his strength by picking you up, relishing in the way you exclaim “Wow! Kaeya you’re so strong!” again, he loves the attention

So in simple terms, he’s an attention whore lmao. He wants your attention and praise all for himself

Childe:

We already know Childe’s a total horn dog. Just about anything you do could turn him on for no reason, just because it’s you

One thing that gets him every time though is when you come home after commissions. You’re sweaty, covered in dirt and blood. As long as you’re not too injured, he’ll practically pounce on you the second you step inside

You’ll whine about how tired you are, you just wanna go to bed but he’s all wired up

He loves that smell of sweat and blood, especially on you. It’s too bad he isn’t the one who got to fight you this time

He’ll lick the sweat from your cheek and whisper in your ear, telling you how badly he wants you, how he can’t wait to throw you down on the mattress and fight for dominance with you

You could literally just be sweaty from working out or the weather and he’ll be on you, grinning at you as he shoves his hands up your shirt to grope your sweaty skin. He’ll be immensely disappointed if you insist on showering before he can have some fun with you lmao

Zhongli:

Zhongli is an intellectual, he knows pretty much everything about everything. He’ll humbly claim that there are plenty of things he doesn’t know but don’t let him fool you, he just knows things

That’s why he likes when you display intelligence or interest in things he likes

He’ll hover over your shoulder while you read, letting a hand wander up your arm to your shoulder, admiring that focused look on your face

He’ll occasionally get things wrong just so you’ll correct him. He loves when you get cocky and confident in your answers “Ah, yes you’re right dear. How could I have made such a mistake?”

One of his fantasies is one where he fucks you at his desk, forcing you to carry on a conversation with him. It doesn’t matter the topic, philosophy, economics, ethics, as long as he can keep you talking with moans between words. He has pretty good self control, he can talk for hours, so he plans on keeping you there as long as he can. He isn’t shy when it comes to initiating sex, he just wants to find a ‘perfect time to’ do so

Diluc:

Diluc prides himself in being a traditional gentleman. He keeps himself in check and refrains from...improper thoughts when he can

But then again, he’s a bit too easy to rile up. You could brush his bangs out of his eyes or straighten his tie out for him and he’ll be a blushing mess

There’s one thing that drives him wild though: corsets. He loves seeing you in them! However it’s inconvenient when he sees you looking so gorgeous in public, he’ll have to avoid you even though he doesn’t want to

All he can think about is the way you’d gasp if he yanked those strings, the way your waist would cinch in and you’d struggle for air, his name spilling from your lips

He’s ashamed of his dirty fantasies, he can hardly stand to look at you cause all he feels is shame because it isn’t like you’re doing anything sexual, you’re just sitting there chatting away with your tavern buddies! But he can’t stop the impure thoughts from flooding his mind

He has to go home early, avoiding the public eye as he does, so no one catches on or worse: sees the tent in his pants

Xiao:

Right off the bat, Xiao doesn’t have much experience in this field

He DOES know that he really likes the way you say his name. He’s never felt like this with anyone else, it was very confusing at first

One time you called out to him while drunk, giggling as you called for him over and over until he appeared in front of you, as he always does when you need him

This was different though...When you said his name like this, in a teasing manner with that breathy-ness in your voice? Uh oh...yeah, he really likes that

He wants to hear you say his name like that again, he wants you to sob his name while he pleasures you “Xiao! Please Xiao!” uhhh... uhhhh.... he’s gonna short circuit just thinking about it

He tries not to think about that though because uh...well...Again, he isn’t super experienced so he just feels awkward you gotta help him out

Venti:

All this man wants is to be smothered by your chest. He’s a perv through and through, he can’t help it!

He’s only 5’2 so most people are taller than him, all he wants is for you to hug him and let him bury his face in your chest please-

Because he’s short and has such an innocent smile he can get away with being a menace in public. He’ll use wind currents to blow up your shirt or skirt, grinning like a madman as he catches a glimpse of you

He’s also the type to snap bra straps or drop something down your shirt “Oh no! I lost something! If only I could get it myself l~” what an asshole! He’d only do this if you’re together don’t worry

Baizhu:

Baizhu honestly doesn’t have much desire for sex. He likes it but doesn’t seek it out often, he spends most of his time working to finally harness the power of immortality muahaha!!

One thing always gets him though: your morning voice. When you run your fingers through his hair and press warm kisses to his face and shoulders first thing in the morning...It’s the perfect way to wake up

He’ll even pretend to be asleep just so you’ll lean over and murmur sweet things in his ear with that lovely voice of yours “Time to get up, Dr. Baizhu~ We have a lot of work to do today” “I think Gui can handle things for a half hour or so. We’re not going anywhere just yet”

When he feels up to it, he loves having slow, lazy sex with you right at the crack of dawn. You’re both still warm and half awake, your hair is messy and your skin feels so nice against his

Albedo:

Albedo is extremely repressed, he spends most of his time working and any free time he has he dedicates to art or an hour of rest

He takes a lot of trips up to Dragonspine to work in the lab there so there are weeks where he goes without seeing you. He never realized how lonely he was until he met and fell in love with you.

On a whim, while he was packing for another expedition, he took one of your shirts with him. He was originally going to steal some of your underwear but he just couldn’t do it. With your shirt, he figured your scent would comfort him while he was away but instead, he found himself jacking off to the scent of your perfume

He did this over and over and now his brain has started to associate that one perfume with sex. He’s gone and ‘Pavlov’ed himself! That warm, vanilla scent brings forth hot, heavy memories. Now when you wear that perfume around him he has to focus on keeping those dirty thoughts in the back of his mind

He makes sure to compliment you when you wear other perfumes so hopefully, you wear those ones more often though part of him wishes you’d catch on. He’d never out himself though, he’d die from embarrassment

During those rare times when you’re away on commissions and he’s home alone, he’ll indulge himself...He hopes you’ll walk in on him

Whew! That was a long post!!! Thanks for sticking around! I like these guys a little...too much 😳 ((ignore the spelling errors if there are any! sorry!))

[obey-me-rot]

You're Mine

A/N: I guess as a writing blog I should be doing some writing right? Honestly this has just been the biggest headcanon I've had in a while since I started playing Obey Me of the brothers just...like Devildom culture must be so different! And then the whole pact thing with human masters must be so different as well! I just view them as big animals just wanting to get your attention u wu. Warnings: Jealous boys, public shows of dominance and a lot of biting.

It's almost painful being in the Devildom sometimes.

A cultural exchange program amped up to 100 %.

As much as you loved the brothers, you also were meeting some pretty cool demons in RAD. Surely you were the human student everyone was so excited to meet, but none of them really talked to you, you know? But there were some that were brave enough to overlook your pact marks and dive into a conversation.

Even some were bold enough to talk to you out of school!

Making so many friends was so exciting, especially since you still thought of yourself as new! Wait till the brothers see how many new demons you have met!

Problem is you forgot how weird demon culture is, especially when it has to do with a demon and their master.

"MC?"

Lucifer blinks as he notices the demon approaching the two of you, pausing your daily walk with him as confusion turns to familiarity and you run up to greet your friend.

The first thing he notices is how they are a low ranking demon, so there’s no need to be hyper aware of any sort of threat. In this instance he doesn’t need to look to make sure his pact mark is visible to the demon.

His mark was embedded right in your iris, so anyone could see whose protection you were under.

He smiles politely as you turn around to introduce them, the demon waving at him shyly as if remembering that, yes, this human made a pact with Lucifer and therefore should not be messed with in any way. Yet there was no sort of violent tendencies coming from this demon, which put him at somewhat of an ease.

That is, until the demon takes a hold of your hand.

It’s a simple touch, one that a human would mistaken for a sign of friendship and camaraderie. The demon was speaking excitedly about a new flower they had seen over at the Botanical gardens and how much they wanted to show it off to you.They tighten their hold and Lucifer has to dig his fingernails into his palm from ripping their hand off.

You had no idea what it meant and the action would most likely scare you.

And Lucifer wanted you to trust him as much as possible.

“Would it be okay if Lucifer comes along?”

“...y--yeah! I don’t mind!”

Hesitation mixed with fake happiness, this demon really thought that he would get some time alone with you, didn’t they? They probably planned this whole thing out and whatever excitement they were showing you was just a front to hide their true intentions. Besides, look how they are hanging off of you, they want to make a pact with you so badly it’s almost disgusting.

Might as well get rid of the pest now.

“Come on MC, I want to show you the huge petals--!”

“OW!”

You and the demon look back to see Lucifer biting down on one of your fingers, your ring finger to be exact, while making eye contact with the pest. His teeth are not necessarily breaking skin but the pain of the bite made all your attention go back on him, turning around to tug your finger away and cradle it close. “Lucifer what the hell!”

He smiles and tells you not to worry about it, your retort falling on deaf ears as Lucifer’s eyes fall on the demon one more time. Their eyes are wide and they have immediately taken two steps back, their back as straight as a needle as Lucifer sends them one last look that lets them know of his intentions.

Leave now or I will gut you in front of my human.

You turn to apologize to your friend for putting them in such a weird situation but the demon is already long gone, no sign of them ever being in your presence as you look around aimlessly.

“They left...” you frown and look at Lucifer, “Next time at least warn me.”

“If I did then you would have probably forbidden me from doing so.”

The Avatar of Pride smiles as he takes your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours as you kept talking about how you would apologize the next day. But Lucifer wasn’t listening, he just kept staring at you as you talked, happy that his master wasn’t particularly mad.

That demon would have to learn to get his own, this human was already his.

He had finally gotten you all to himself.

Mammon had a photoshoot today, making you tag along so he could finally show off his modeling skills. And it would help him out as well. The product they were trying to sell did not appeal to him one bit and he just really needed you as inspiration.

And inspiration did you give.

“Oh gorgeous Mammon gorgeous! Lean back and close your eyes.”

The cameraman was giving him compliment after compliment, excellent after excellent, it was as if all eyes were on him at that exact moment. He smiled as he thought about how you must be looking at him. His shirt was open, letting the cloth hang off the side of the couch as the camera focused primarily on the low riding jeans that showed off the boxers he was promoting.

“Perfect! Perfect!! Now turn around and stare into the camera!”

His eyes opened and his head turned expertly, Mammon smiling as he tried to make eye contact with you--

Only to see that you were gone.

Camera flashes stop as he bolts up, turning to look for you before his eyes focused on your form.

There you were...talking with someone else.

“Mammon?”

He doesn’t stare at the cameraman, only gets up and stalks towards you and the demon currently holding up the lights. Both of you turn to face him, a voice speaking loudly about a five minute break as Mammon stands behind you and hugs you from behind, placing his chin right on your shoulder as he looks at the interloper.

“Are you taking a break?”

Mammon smiles as he buries his face in your shoulder, hugging you tight as the demon tells him he did a wonderful job. Without raising his head, Mammon speaks up.

“MC, who is this?”

“Oh right! Haven’t introduced you. He is a friend from RAD! We sit together in Pactology 101.”

“Well we used to sit together...”

“We talked way too much in class, didn’t we?”

It’s like nails on a chalkboard when he laughs, Mammon feeling glad that he was closer to you so he could hear the sound of your laughter instead of the ugly screeching of the intruder taking up your attention. Did this guy think he was stupid? That he couldn’t notice all the goddamn pheromones he was releasing? Mammon shakes his head back and forth, breathing in your scent heavily as he tries to leave his own behind.

This guy was embarrassing himself with how badly he wanted to form a pact with you.

“MC.”

“Oh oh, remember when the teacher caught us texting in class?”

“I think he might want to just put us back together cause we are still causing trouble!”

The Avatar of Greed frowns, did you not hear him?

“MC…”

“Well the teacher knows we are a good match, doesn’t he?”

“A match made in hell, I would say.”

Why was this guy still talking? Why were you still listening to him?

“MC….”

“Hey after this...would you want to go get some coffee, MC? If you’re not busy.”

“Nah, I only have this toda---FUCK!”

A pair of teeth tug at your earlobe, Mammon growling in your ear as he makes eye contact with the annoyance in front of him. He should be counting his lucky stars that you were still in the room, if Mammon found him anywhere else this demon would be nothing more than a meal for his familiars.

“MC, you have to stare at me or else I’m going to take longer.”

You rub at your ear as Mammon lets go of you, breaking eye contact with the other demon as he gives you his signature pout. He didn’t want you to see him be all scary, Mammon wanted you to see him like the number one demon he always tried to be for you.

“And you had to bite me because of that!?”

“Because you weren’t paying attention! You have to keep your eyes on me or else I’m not going to sell this stupid product. In fact--”

He drags you back to the couch, yelling at the cameraman that he would be posing with you so he could actually get through this photoshoot instead of doing a solo shoot. The man sighs but calls makeup to get you ready, Mammon smiling as he sits down right next to you.

The farther you were from that guy the better, all of his master’s attention needed to be on him after all.

Of course something like this would happen. Bad luck seemed to follow Leviathan wherever he went.

"Did you see the finale of it live?"

"I did!!! My movie theatre put it on the big screen and everything!"

Levi was glad that you were a nerd just like him. It was refreshing and probably one of the biggest reasons he had decided to make a pact with you.

Well, he had tried to kill you first and then make a pact with you but it was still a special story! Who would have thought that he would land himself a human master with his own interests!

Though he guessed that was a bad thing now.

He couldn't keep his thoughts in check as the clerk of the comic store kept talking to you, Levi annoyed that he couldn't keep up with the conversation you two had. It was about some comic cinematic universe that had been adapted in the human world and he honestly didn’t want to put anymore thought into it because of how close the clerk was getting.

Dammit he should have bought the new manga volume in Akuzon...but you had been so cute irl asking him to get the manga in this comic store you found,and if his master was begging him so cutely then what else could he do?

“I actually got the limited edition of this one movie--”

Nobody cared.

“It was up for a lot in Akuzon but I’m glad I got my hands on it--”

Stop talking!

“And I have a pretty cool viewing set up in the back--!”

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking, stop talking to MC!

Levi frowns as you gush about the movie some more, glaring down at you for letting your attention stray from him. But why should he be surprised, of course your attention would stray. Him being the yucky otaku that he is, of course you would go with the demon who took his interest and actually turned it into a profit--

No.

No! It wasn’t your fault! It wasn’t even his fault! It was this demon’s fault!

Thinking they looked so cool with their most basic of interests. If Levi could expose them for the fraud that they were, MC would be able to see the absolute fool that this demon was making themselves out to be. Smiling a lot more, inching closer as they talked, even offering to take you to the back of the store--!

People may say what they want about Levi but at least he wasn’t this desperate to get on the good side of a human...at least the first time he met you.

His eyes fall on the back of your neck, hair conveniently placed out of the way as he remembered something Lucifer had discussed with him and Mammon after they had made their pact.

You will not think rationally when you are with them, make sure to monitor your actions so you don’t embarrass yourself.

That’s what he said but…

Surely Levi wasn’t going to embarrass himself more than this demon already has.

“This is the one with the symbiote creature, right? And you got the bonus deleted scenes! Honestly I would be so down with watching it right--EEP!”

Levi made sure to let his tongue lick the back of your neck first before biting down, wanting to make the bite as painless as possible. Although he guessed that not making you feel pain was out of the question as he felt you tense up, his tongue swiping against your nape one last time as he pulled back and tugged on the back of your shirt.

“MC let’s go. They don’t have it.”

You turn to look at Levi, hand on the back of your neck as you tell him that he could have gotten your attention in any other way, but he knew for a fact that he had made his point across with the demon in front of him.

Summoning Lotan in his own home was one thing, summoning Lotan in a store would probably cost a lot…

Even if he knew brothers wouldn’t blame him with how nauseatingly this demon was trying to approach their master.

“MC, here.”

Satan breaks his pencil, but it seems the two other people don’t seem to notice.

“And it's the first edition too, but I took it out just for you.”

You smile and mention about how you didn’t need anything fancy for the assignment, just a simple book that talked about Devildom history. Which Satan agreed, this bug was acting like he owned the entire Royal Library. A pass to get a first edition title wasn’t that rare of a fucking find--if he wanted, Satan could call up any of his connections and get about 16 copies of different first edition titles that spoke not just about the Devildom history but about whatever the hell topic he could get his hands on.

This guy wasn’t that special yet he was acting like he had just given you the world on a silver platter.

The demon sat down at the table you and Satan were studying at, looking at you the entire time he explained how to open the book and how to make sure it stays in its pristine condition.

Which made Satan break another pencil.

From what you had mentioned, this guy was just someone you knew from RAD. You labeled him as the ‘smartest person in the class’. Which was a bit of an insult on his part but he guessed that as long as he wasn’t the one in your class it didn’t count as an insult towards his person.

He, of course, being the smartest demon you know.

But Satan didn’t have to be the smartest demon in RAD to know what this nuisance was doing.

If he were to read you any book on Devildom demonology, certain demons needed a human master. This insect in front of you would count as one of them. Lower demons usually tend to be without guidance and need a soul to feed from. In comes a human master, being able to fulfill that need with a pure soul of their own. The demon feeds and in return, develops a sort of ‘affection’ towards their master since they are now the hand that feeds them.

The same couldn’t be applied to Satan or his brothers, however. As the seven demon lords, they are able to gain the sustenance they need from the feed of other lower demons under the sin they were made in.

They are free to form pacts, but it’s not like they need it.

A good metaphor would be that they are essentially ‘picking off the plate’ of the lower demons, making the lower demons only cause minimal casualties up in the human world as they feed and keeping the seven lords from going feral with hunger.

Of course, things were different now. Satan had you now, a human all of his own.

Essentially, someone was trying to ‘take a bite’ of his favourite food, and Satan hated sharing.

Friends be damned, politeness be damned, he needed to show this demon his place.

“Isn’t it fascinating? The cover was made with a demon’s skin.”

“....really?”

“Yes. I believe it was from recently dead demon’s during the first Celestial War. Do you want to feel?”

You nod, curious about the black and shiny cover as the demon holds out his hand for you to take--

Only for you to yelp as Satan takes it first, dragging your hand back so it would be close to his lips as the Avatar of Wrath’s teeth bite at the skin near your wrist. You hiss in pain at the sudden sharpness, quickly pulling your hand back and staring at your demon as he gives the annoyance one last pointed stare.

“That is how demons started their pacts before we arrived in the Devildom, wasn’t it?”

The demon nodded slowly, his eyes darting to the mark on your wrist and then back at Satan. He opened his mouth to try and speak up but seemed to decide better against it, giving you one last smile as he stood up. “...I’ll...I’ll go get you the second volume. That one might include more accurate and updated information on pact markings.”

Satan smiles and nods as he scoots his chair close to you, looking back at you tracing the mark on your wrist with a frown before putting all your attention back on him.

“Did demons really used to form pact marks like this?”

The Avatar of Wrath shrugs.

“I was only guessing, he was the one who left thinking it was the truth. Here, let’s go look for a book on our own.”

Asmo would like to think that he had perfected the fake smile to the point he could keep it up for an indeterminate amount of time.

“MC! Try this!”

Yet the corners of his mouth twitched as he watched one of your friends, who happened to be a store clerk at Majolish, open the door to your dressing room to hand you another outfit they had picked out. And it wasn’t a bad outfit--!

Just...did they have to keep opening the door every single time?

Granted, he shouldn’t be in your dressing room in the first place but he insisted he would stay since you were only trying some shirts on! It wasn’t like he was seeing anything inappropriate and your pants were staying on the entire time.

This sight was okay for him because he was your demon and you were his master.

So it wasn’t right that some random nobody kept coming in to hand you shirts that they thought looked cute on you! That’s what you had Asmo for!

Yet here he was, secluded to sit down on the little chairs that someone would usually toss the unwanted clothes they wouldn’t buy. Which was already doing horrible things for his self-esteem.

“I learned a couple of things by working here. See? The color really matches your hair.”

The Avatar of Lust scoffs when he hears that. What exactly did the demon learn? How to match colors? Oh look, someone learned the basics of the color wheel, someone give them a medal.

“And since you are wearing something long at the bottom, it’s only fair that you go with something short on top.”

This demon is going to win an award for making basic observations, Asmo could already see it. What a future they had ahead of them.

“These colors are summery too so...it goes great with the weather!”

Oh he wants to gag, Asmo’s heard enough.

“You don’t think it’s too revealing? I do like the color though…”

Before the demon can answer, Asmo grabs your shoulders and pulls you back to him with a smile as he makes you look in the mirror.

“I think it’s revealing enough for the summer look you are going for...except can you maybe get it in a light pastel? Any color would do it just needs to be a pastel color if we want it to go with the light color of your bottoms.”

The demon deflates at the sudden lack of contact with you but nods as they step out, waving goodbye and stating once again how ‘gorgeous’ you looked. Which Asmo guessed was the only compliment they had in their arsenal.

Gorgeous didn’t even begin to describe you.

“I did like this color, Asmo. Does it not look good?”

“No it looks perfect on you! But--”

He tugs on the floral print top and smiles as he wraps his arms around your shoulders.

“Floral prints are extremely last season and I want you to be on a more neutral type of clothing. Just simple colors. This way we can add some jewelry--some of my own creation of course.”

Asmo smiles when you giggle, fixing your top and looking at yourself in the mirror a couple more times as you mumble to yourself about how Devildom summers seem rather temperate compared to the ones you were used to and how you wouldn’t need anything sleeveless.

Damn the Devildom summers, if they could even be called that at all.

His ears twitch as he hears the pest start to make their way back, Asmo’s smile dropping slowly as he looks down at your neck. This was the spot they kept staring at, wasn’t it? Shame it wasn’t decorated--

But he could fix that~ “I found some other colors that would go well with you MC, do you want to--”

“OW OW OW!”

Asmo’s teeth are right on your neck, turning to look back at the clerk with a smile and a little wave as he hums at the way you clench and unclench your fingers while looking at him through the mirror, wanting to ask just why he was doing this but the pain keeping you quiet. It was cute how much you were hurting but how you were doing absolutely nothing to stop him. This could technically mean that you approved of what he was doing, correct?

He lets go as the clerk immediately closes the door, you calling out for your friend but Asmo brings you back and makes you look at the mirror one more time.

“There we go. That’s a pretty mark, right MC? An Asmodeus Limited Edition item, just for you~”

If this kept happening, Beel was going to eat this demon.

“You need to try some Devildom food, MC! I promise it's good!”

Beel stomach growls again as you laugh, ignoring the parfait in front of you. He gives you a tap on the shoulder and your attention is right back to him. “Oh sorry, Beel. Here!” You scoop up the delicious frozen treat and feed it to him, Beel smiling as he takes another two bites of his hamburger and watches you and your friend talk. He actually had no idea that you had any friends in RAD and was happy to see that at least some demons were treating you nicely, compared to theo ones who had teased you when you first arrived.

Well he said teased, more like threatened to eat you.

He figured you would make friends fast though, you were nice and all the demons here were already attracted to human souls so it was bound to happen that one of them would have the courage to talk to you.

Yet this one seemed rather...eager.

“How about this. Hell’s Kitchen serves good food but I know this awesome corner in the wall place we can get some grilled bat sandwiches. Guts and everything.”

His stomach growls again, he knew of the place this demon was talking about and would most likely want to take you there himself if you ever asked.

Beel takes another two bites before waiting for you to feed him the parfait.

Nothing.

He frowns and stares at you again, the demon keeping your attention all to himself as you spoke about how you didn’t necessarily want to eat anything with guts in it. His eyes went to the parfait, watching some of the perfectly placed scoops slowly melt and droop down on the plate.

MC, pay attention to him!

This was his time with you! He didn’t mind if someone else stepped in and he was glad you were making friends but this demon was interrupting his mealtime!

He ate his burger, you fed him ice-cream, this is how it had always worked!

People could say what they wanted but Beel was a creature of habit, and he was in the habit of having you feed him.

Not just that, he was in the habit of having your attention all on him when it was his time to hang out with you.

Wasn’t this demon just being a bother? Didn’t you also want them gone?

They kept talking about all the stuff that clearly grossed you out, seemingly delighted with your reactions as they kept trying to egg you on to say yes to an outing. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were smiling the entire time, Beel would have already made the move to unhinging his jaw and--

“I promise I’ll treat you to the best ghost pepper pizza you’ve ever had. You’re free after this, right?”

Beel’s stomach growls, whether in hunger or anger Beel wouldn’t be able to say. All he knows is that this demon is bad news for both him and you.

So what would be the quickest way to make him back off?

“I’m not but I can take a raincheck--!”

You drop the spoon you were holding as Beel bites your cheek, throwing the demon one quick glimpse before letting out a few sounds that seemed to make up your name. The demon stares at you and Beel as the Avatar of Gluttony pulls away from you, licking his lips as you slowly put a hand on your cheek and turn to look at him.

“The parfait is gonna melt. I want another bite.”

“Beel…”

Eyes turn to the demon once again, Beel frowning as he takes a hold of your hand underneath the table.

“Please leave. If MC is going to eat Devildom food then they’ll eat it with me. The only thing you are going to do is gross them out.”

“So what did you want to talk about?”

Belphie frowned as your fingers gently played with his hair. That is not what he had asked for when he asked to lay on your lap. Belphegor wanted the usual way you would comb through his hair, both of you gently whispering to each other as the planetarium ambience lulled him to sleep.

“Well...uhm...I wanted to ask something important.”

And who the hell was this person? He peeked up to look at you smiling at the screen, frowning that you still didn’t seem to notice you were doing a shit job at giving him the attention he needed. Whoever this was had been on the line with you for a good solid ten minutes, talking about useless subjects such as their day and what they had for lunch. If anything, Belphegor had no idea how this thing was taking your attention. You were doing most of the talking anyway, they should just hang up and leave you alone to pay attention to your demon.

“We’ve known each other for a while.”

Belphegor most likely knew MC for longer...maybe.

“And honestly I haven’t met a human like you before. You just...I just expected humans to be something and you aren’t that so it threw me off.”

The Avatar of Sloth yawns as he buries his head in your lap, smiling at the darkness he found in the small crook of your thighs. He yawns again and closes his eyes to try and fall asleep but the grating voice of the demon on the phone was sending nothing but warning signals to his brain.

“So I wanted to ask something I didn’t think I would ask a human before.”

He really wanted to yell ‘get to the point’ or ‘hang up the phone’ but he knew that you would most likely shush him and tell him to be patient, which would then result in you gently pushing him away so you could talk somewhere more private. And he wasn’t ready to lose his favourite pillow just yet.

So he continued listening, tracing random shapes on your thighs as he felt his eyelids start to droop.

“I know you have seven pacts already…”

Damn straight.

“But would an eight be too much for you?”

That wakes Belphegor right up, eyes wide open and head turned to face up at you to see your reaction. Of course you would be surprised, this demon really had the guts to ask the current master of the Seven deadliest demons in the Devildom for a pact?

You better be grateful that Belphegor found comfort in your lap and would prefer to stay here, rather than go break the neck of the demon insolent enough to try to take his master away.

So go ahead, reject him.

“A pact? With me?”

What were you doing?

Don’t give him such a hopeful answer! Belphegor had to share you with six other demons constantly and those demons were his siblings! He was okay sharing with Beel but he drew the line at anyone else! Adding an eighth demon to that would be like asking for a bloodbath, a bloodbath with only one target.

Belphegor frowned as the demon started talking again, stuttering and jumping over his words like he was a dog who asked to eat their masters table. Which essentially he was, not like there was room for him anyway.

“I know I’m not like those brothers--”

Damn straight.

“But making a pact with you would make me really happy...is what I am trying to say.”

He wants to gag.

A part of him couldn’t blame the demon, you were perhaps the best master a demon could ask for, but you were already t a k e n.

And you were to blame too, you know?

You weren’t rejecting him like you should. The face you were making was far too surprised and flattered at the proposition given to you. Were you that greedy? Had Mammon rubbed off on you? You had seven of the most powerful demons under your command, what more could you possibly want?

As a master, you were doing a bad job at rejecting this insect and an even more horrible job at not paying attention to the actual demon you were tied to.

He turns his head back to the darkness of your thighs, feeling you shift as you also struggle to find an answer. This was becoming too much, if Belphegor didn’t act fast you were most likely going to say yes, just because you didn’t know any better!

Fuck it, you could try to push him off but Belphegor would hold on tightly, he had to save you from your mistake.

“Uhm. Well that is honestly really flattering. And eight pacts wouldn’t be so bad--”

You slap a hand over your mouth, your teeth biting into your tongue as you look down at the demon nipping at the inside of your thigh. Belphie looks up innocently, batting his eyelashes at you as he bites down a little harder--

“I’ll-try-to-have-an-answer-for-you-later-got-to-go-bye!”

Fingers hurry to end the call as Belphegor quickly lets go, smiling as you gape down at him.

“I was in the middle of a call!”

“I know.”

“Then what was that about!?”

The Avatar of Sloth shrugs as he closes his eyes.

“You weren’t paying attention to me. It made me mad.”

You sigh and lean back, Belphegor waiting for a few moments before smiling as he feels your fingers combing through his hair.

“Next time,just talk to me, Belphegor.”

He would have answered, but that would make him promise something he most likely was not going to do.