#the hunting duo from hell

[fatedroses]

I offer the frankly hilarious scenario of zenos and estinien having to work together (probably because of tataru) and a little bit of headcanon-ing I have in regards to the one main issue they run in to when theyre a duo.

[selenezq]

🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞MDNI🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

After a long wait, (thanks depression) my fic where Alastor rails you in a sundress is finally here.

Alastor x Reader

Reader is AFAB

CW: dub con, stalking, rough sex, explicit content, porn no plot, plot where, plot who

Sundress Summer

It was a hot, but not unpleasantly so day in hell. 

The perfect time for wearing a sundress to the picnic Charlie had organized for the bonding exercise of the day. The first thing you noticed as you came to the end of the well-maintained stone walkway was the large red and white checkered tablecloths which covered two sizeable wooden picnic tables to your right. The pleasant breeze caused the edges of the fabric to flutter against the sides of the tables. 

A massive spread of food covered both surface areas; it was more than they could all eat truly but it was clear Charlie had tried her best to create another memorable experience for her guests. You smiled from ear to ear with joy at the sight of all your friends together enjoying a day at the park. Husk and Angel Dust were seated on one of the benches lining the massive spread, the spider demon trying his best to get Husk to eat the grape he was attempting to feed him. 

"C'mon, just let me feed ya one." Angel whined at the former overlord pushing the piece of fruit towards him. 

"Cut that shit out, I can feed myself." Husk growled gruffly, as he swatted half-heartedly at Angel's hand before relenting. "Just one, and then leave it alone alright?"

Husk took a surveying glance around to ensure no one was watching the two of them. You quickly looked in the opposite direction to your left, faining interest in a passing butterfly so as not to intrude on their moment. You tried your best to hide a delighted smile. 

With a resigned sigh, Husk let Angel gently feed him a lone grape. "Ah yeah, you like that in ya mouth daddy?" Angel says salaciously with a flirtatious grin. 

"Fucking hell, you just had to go and make it weird didn't you," Husk scolded, before giving the tall demon a small shove. You did your best to hold in a laugh, ensuring not to make eye contact with the duo. Your ocular muscles searched for the rest of the group, coming to a stop when you spotted Charlie, excitedly pointing to something in the distance. 

"Ohmygosh Vaggie look!!" She exclaimed excitedly, her words strung all together in exuberance. "I can't believe this Infernenta plant is flowering!" Charlie said before skipping joyfully over towards the flowering bush. 

She skipped joyfully over towards the flowering bush, her girlfriend watching with a loving expression. Eyes which were usually fierce and full of rage softened before she followed after Charlie. “Yeah, that’s really cool babe.” She said, her voice beginning to fade as she walked further away from you. 

You smiled fondly as you watched them go—the two of them were very sweet together. Niffty quickly took over your vision as she dashed around, pulling your attention away from the two lovebirds. She held her needle high in the air with her little hand; she was on the hunt, chasing a particularly large bug. 

With a small shudder, you turned around and headed towards an opening in the woods, determined to explore. The thoughts in your busy mind dwelled on the members of your unorthodox group of friends until it occurred to you that had not yet seen Alastor. You wondered what he could be up to—though he rarely joined in on bonding activities. 

You pondered deeply on how glad you were to have met them all as your feet took you down a slightly overgrown path, large weeds sprouting between the cracks on the deteriorated stone passage. Lost in your internal musing, you failed to notice a pair of glowing red eyes watching you from the distance; the hunter was tracking your every move. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Radio Demon watched you from the shadows, hidden behind massive amounts of lush, green, foliage. It was a position most familiar to him from his time alive, hiding from plain sight while he waited for the perfect moment to approach his prey. He watched you with an ill-intended gaze, as the short patterned material of your sundress highlighted the beautiful curves of your body. An unfamiliar feeling of desire coursed through him as he feasted his eyes on the sight of you wandering, helplessly alone. You were completely unaware of the danger that lurked behind you—the perfect, irresistible prey. 

Alastor was more than well-adjusted to the way the others at the hotel viewed his presence. He was infamous for the danger he posed, but you seemed content to naively ignore the threat he posed. Perhaps that was why he now found himself obsessed with you, needing to be constantly closer to you. No amount of effort could dissuade his need to be close to you; any amount of distance was simply unacceptable. The very lack of your presence had become most intolerable, to the point he found himself stalking you through the shadows, unable to look away from your gentle form. 

At first, these feelings had angered him. Alastor had tried his best to make you fear him, unused to all of the new sensations you evoked in him. Popping up from the shadows, scaring you when you were alone in the dimmed hallways of the hotel. You had always laughed in response, slapping his chest playfully as you laughed at his joke and were it anyone he would skin them alive for the unwanted touch. He found it most irritating when you would pull away as if your hand should ever be anywhere but on him. 

He started going out of his way to touch you—to make you uncomfortable. It was certainly not because he craved the feeling of your soft, warm, skin under his hand. It became a game he’d play, a way to see how far he could go, how long you would let his hand linger on you. Could he rouse a blush to those beautiful cheeks of yours? Somehow, he rather felt as though he might be losing the game you weren’t even aware you were playing. 

Many nights he spent time thinking about how your soft, shiny, hair would feel when he pulled your head back, locks wound around his claws. What noises your sweet, little, lips might let slip, the sight of your kind eyes widening. 

Would you let him ruin you if he tried? 

The question consumed him as he brought himself back to the sight of his beautiful prey: you. His eyes focused on your radiant presence while your face lit up in delight. You had stumbled upon a beautiful abandoned structure. It appeared this was once a grand gazebo, but time had eroded the marble away. Faint cracks could be seen amongst the vines and foliage that almost concealed it completely from view. 

He watched as you were unable to resist the urge to explore, pushing aside some of the greenery covering the entrance. You stepped inside, your graceful form illuminated by slivers of Heaven’s light, shining like sunlight through the thick canopy surrounding the structure. 

You were almost completely obstructed from the view of anyone who might come along and it sent a shiver down his back—what a delightful thought, to always have you to himself. 

He stalked forward slowly, careful to remain quiet so you would not ruin his little game too early. Hunting for sport was second nature to the demon; hiding amidst the shadows was something Alastor had become quite familiar with. The sight of you blissfully unaware of the potential danger you were in was almost too much to bare; he needed to start the next round of his manipulative little game lest you broke him before he got the chance to break you. 

He materialized behind you, his form becoming more corporeal until he was a solid mass that you bumped into when you took a step back. You let out a most exquisite scream of fear as he startled you and a wide, malicious grin spread across his face. You turned quickly to face him, and he watched as your facial expression melted into relief. He was unsure how he felt about the sensation bubbling in his stomach—he brought you ease. Alastor lived to strike fear into the hearts of others, but he could make an exception—just this once.  

"Oh, it's just you. That's such a relief." You said with a genuine smile. 

"My, my... You are quite a sight for sore eyes. I could just eat you up." Alastor almost purred, his voice thick with his usual filter. Static popped in the air as he stepped closer to you; after such a long hunt, he was so close to getting what he wanted.

"You mean me?" You squeaked in disbelief, insecurity seeping through your voice.

"See here, exactly how fetching I find you, darling." Alastor told you, before grabbing your wrist. 

He guided your soft palm to the hardness barely contained by his trousers, a true test to see how far he could push you. How much you would allow him to greedily take? Would this be the time he finally pushed you too far and you realized the peril you were in, being the object of his dark fascination? 

He watched hungrily as your eyes widened in surprise, a pretty pink tongue darting out to wet your lips. 

“This is all for me?” You asked, voice laced in awe and he wanted to consume you. 

You were a curious creature, a difficult prey to understand. You never gave him the responses he was expecting, and yet always gave him a response he enjoyed. Rather than flee from the evident danger you found yourself in, you seemed quite pleased at his forward and lewd actions—what a foolish girl. 

“Well of course my dear, who else would it be for?” Alastor teased, his voice full of amusement as he gestured to the empty overgrown gazebo. He brought a clawed hand down to cover your own, his large hand dwarfing your much smaller one as he pressed your hand closer to the tent in his pants. He let out a strangled groan at the much-needed contact, his usual composure falling apart every minute he spent in your presence. “The things you do to me, pet. This is all for you, because of you.” 

He thrust his hips up into your touch, chasing your nimble fingers before he allowed himself to regain control of himself. He melted away into the shadows with a quick use of his powers and the warm tension of having him pressed against you was gone. It was amusing to him how evident you made it that you were desperate for his touch. A menacing laugh echoed around the gazebo as he slid up from the pool of shadows at your feet behind you, shoving you back into the siding of the shelter. You fell briefly, your sundress bunching around your hips exposing your cunt and the tiny piece of fabric that covered it from view. 

You were an absolute vision, he noted. He was addicted to this version of you, vulnerable and needy for him and him alone. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, Alastor brought his much larger hand to rest on your leg. His rough scarred skin pressed against your much softer skin, and you shivered against him beautifully. He wondered how long he could stand to do this to you, playing with you simply because he knew you’d let him—could he finally make you snap?

He teasingly brought his hand up your thigh, ghosting a finger along your clothed slit. He swallowed a hungry growl as a fresh round of wetness gushed into your panties at even the faintest touch. Every single stroke, every touch, was methodical and planned—he wanted to watch you come undone. He held himself with tension, holding himself back from ruining you completely. 

You lifted your hips just enough, wordlessly signalling to him just how eager you were. It broke the hold he had over himself, the shred of control he kept in place to protect you. He shredded the flimsy undergarment, letting it drop by your feet as an unusable scrap of fabric. His fingers traced harsh, heavy circles around your swollen clit and it was pure bliss to watch as you threw your head back, releasing a muffled cry of bliss. 

He plunged a dexterous finger into you without warning. A ragged, desperate moan escaped your lips and he watched as your face seemed to glow a bright scarlet in humiliation. He curled his finger inside of you, watching as your body shook for him but it wasn’t enough. He needed to drive his cock deep inside you, to feel your pussy clench around him while you moaned just like that. Despite the fact you should be ashamed, you rutted against him and it was enough to drive the best of men mad—and Alastor was not the best of men by a long shot. 

He pulled his finger out of you, bringing it to his mouth before licking it clean. He swiftly undid his belt, before moving to pull the zipper on his pants down. The sound reverberated in the small hidden gazebo and he watched as you dripped in anticipation for him—he hadn’t hungered like this in centuries. He tugged his trousers down around his firm thighs and his massive cock sprung free. You let out a small whimper as you looked at his cock, a mixture of anticipation and fear shining in your eyes. 

“I can assure you, darling, that it will fit. You’re going to take every single inch of me.” Alastor commanded; the incredulous look in your eyes only spurring him on. 

He watched as your pussy clenched desperately with need around empty air, and his rock-hard cock glistened with precum. You were a marvel to behold. 

“Alastor, please, don’t make me wait any longer. I—I need you.” You admitted with a plea, a blush dusting across your face from the sound of your own needy voice. 

He pushed you further back against the siding of the forgotten structure you had found yourselves in, your back hit the siding with a soft thud. He lifted your leg up to wrap it around his waist as he slotted himself against your dripping pussy, rubbing the swollen head of his member between your folds, before he pushed to be inside of you. 

He moved slowly, inch by inch until his considerable length was seated within you. Your warm walls gripped him tightly and he let out a shaky groan. An aggressive buzz, filled with fizzles and pops, filled the air as he made himself wait, letting you adjust to his large size. His eyes glowed as he gazed down at you fondly. “You’re such a good girl, taking all of me so well. You’re mine now.” He growled possessively, a hand coming up to grip your waist. “Say it, tell me who you belong to.” 

There was a manic edge to his words, a need for you to understand that he owned you. 

“You. I belong to you, Alastor!” You cried out in pleasure, without hesitation, and he picked up his pace in response. You were such a good girl; you knew exactly where you belonged. His hips slammed his cock in and out of you, chasing your delightful cries and screams. 

The final strand of control within him snapped as he looked upon your debauched form. His antlers grew high and heavy above his head, his eyes becoming dials as he lost himself in his desire for you. His cock swelled within you, so large that he feared he might just break you. You released a soft whimper as he felt the head of his cock bumping into your cervix, but rather than push him away, you clawed at him to bring him closer—you were perfection. 

“I never imagined I’d feel so complete being inside you like this, darling.” Alastor confessed, lost in the throes of ecstasy. He brought a hand up, lavishing his attention on your clit as he picked up the pace. He felt your body begin to shake and he knew it wouldn’t be long, he felt you coming undone with every stroke of his digits, every thrust of his colossal member was bringing you closer to the edge. 

“Alastor, don’t stop! I’m getting close!” You pleaded desperately. 

Immediately at your words, he stopped completely. He rested his fingers on your throbbing clit, his dick painfully still inside of your tight heat. You let out a frustrated sob, a lone tear welling up in your eyes and he leaned forward to lick it off your cheek. The sight of you, a desperate and quivering mess was enough to move even the staunchest of sadists. 

“Please, please, please.” You begged, all sense of dignity lost. A tear fell down your cheek and he relished the moment of triumph in his twisted game. The sight of you crying and desperate beneath him brought him a degenerative sense of glee—he needed to make you cry more in the future. “Alastor, I’ve dreamed of this so often! I need to—please let—if I could just cum!” 

“Hmm, I should like to think to think a bright young girl such as yourself could articulate that better, my dear.” He replied, a sadistic smile stretching across his face as he leered down at you. 

“You’re being so cruel.” You cried out, voice dripping with desperation and it fed the hunger deep within him. He had no witty retort to return to your cries—he wanted you to beg. “Please, I’m begging you—I’ve touched myself thinking of you so many times. I never even dreamed you would return my desire. I can’t—I need you to move—to fuck me silly until I cum around your giant cock—please.”

You pleaded sweetly, your voice dripping with desperation and need for him that brought him immense joy and good girls got rewarded. 

“Your pleas are music to my ears pet, I suppose they’ve earned you a reward. You’re so pretty when you beg.” He asserted before resuming his brutal pace. Beautiful euphoric tears fell down your cheeks, painting them so prettily, as he fucked into you. He felt you tighten around him, and in a direct constant to his rough pace, he brought his other hand up to gently cradle your face. He pressed his lips to yours, moaning as your soft lips parted to allow his tongue to explore your mouth. He laid claim to every inch of you he touched. 

“Alastor!” You cried into his mouth, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You collapsed into him, allowing him to support your weight as he continued to fuck into your quivering body. Your cunt clenched deliciously around him as you rocked your hips backwards, chasing the friction he provided desperately. The sight of you so thoroughly debauched combined with the sensation of your walls gripping him tightly sent him over the edge. He shot thick ropes of cum inside of you as he finished with a loud groan, breaking away from the kiss.

The sound of your combined panting and heavy breathing filled the otherwise silent air, and he rested his head in the crook of your neck. “Ma biche, that was even better than I could have possibly imagined.” He praised, mumbling the words into your neck. You both lay intertwined for a while, neither wanting to break the silence and end the moment.

“We should find the others before they find us, but I’d love to do this again.” You said, and he could hear the desperate plea in your voice—good. 

“Of course we will do this again, you belong to me now.” He replied, matter-of-factly. 

He snapped his two fingers together, returning the two of you to your prior state of dress. The mess was gone as if it had never been there, though he loathed to return your undergarments to you. “Shall we, darling?” 

You shot him a contented smile as you linked your arm with his, allowing him to lead you back to where the rest of the group was still enjoying the picnic.

Tag list @cosmiccandydreamer @alastorthirsty @ari-hatake15

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: “Charlie. You know I love you, right?”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “…before I answer, can I ask YOU a question?”

Vaggie: “Sure, babe. Fire away.”

Charlie: “Okay.”

Charlie: “Is this about the singing cannibal quartet love song turned massacre in the hotel lobby?”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “Is it about the supposedly non-man eating flowers that tried eating Angel Dust, which Niffty won’t let us get rid of now because she wants to train them to hunt cockroaches with her?”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “Is it about the alleged cookies Husk is still in bed recovering from taste testing?”

Vaggie: “Those were cookies?”

Charlie: “Allegedly. In a previous life maybe.”

Vaggie: “Huh. They weren’t bad.”

Charlie: “They- Vaggie, you didn’t actually EAT-”

Vaggie: “After wrestling Angel Dust out of the third flower in a row? I was hungry. The kitchen was on fire earlier so I knew you’d made something. And they were sitting in a common area, unclaimed and unlabeled.”

Charlie: “I put CAUTION TAPE around them!!”

Vaggie: “We don’t have anyone staying here named Caution or Hazardous Waste. Not yet, anyway.”

Charlie: “ARE YOU FEELING OKAY!?”

Vaggie: “Fine. This isn’t about the uh, ‘alleged cookies’.”

Charlie: “Well then what is it about? Am I forgetting something else?”

Vaggie: “Maybe. Are you gonna answer my question now?”

Charlie: “Of course I know you love me, Vaggie. Absolutely."

Vaggie: "Then-"

Charlie: "A dangerous amount, even- you sure you’re feeling alright? Those cookies... poor Husk…”

Vaggie: “Husk is on average 40% alcohol and not used to solid foods. This was a good learning experience for him, trust me.”

Charlie: “I do! I do I do, I just, also really hope Angel Dust knows how to BE an actual bedside nurse as well as DRESS like one. A. Sexy one.”

Vaggie: “We’ll save Husk from medical malpractice in a minute. Right now though…”

Vaggie: (smooch the tol gf)

Charlie: “?”

Vaggie: “You don’t have to do extra things like this, sweetie.”

Charlie: “Oh.”

Vaggie: “Not that I didn’t love the thought behind it.”

Charlie: “There were no thoughts. Just, wow I love my girlfriend, wow I really hope she knows I love her.”

Vaggie: “I do. You’re amazing, and doing normal hotel crisis things with you is already amazing enough.”

Charlie: (droops) “I know, I know…”

Vaggie: “So?”

Charlie: “Well that’s the THING though! We’ve only been doing hotel stuff!”

Vaggie: “It’s a pretty wide range of activities you gotta admit.”

Charlie: “Oh sure right, sooo varied- stop a murder, fight to stop a murder, try not to do a murder, replace THIS fix THAT organize another group talk and go into red alert whenever the things get suspiciously quiet- go collect the bodies, probably reassemble them, pay the bills, supervised arts and crafts and Cherri still makes a BOMB somehow-”

Vaggie: “Everyone getting together to blow it up outside was kinda sweet.”

Charlie: “And that’s great! We’re doing great, things are going good, it’s just- WE don’t do anything that’s just for US.”

Vaggie: “That what’s bothering you?”

Charlie: “Bothering me? BOTHERING ME?? Vaggie our last outing together was dragging you back up to HEAVEN where the people who left you in hell also BLAKMAILED YOU!"

Vaggie: "Could've been worse."

Charlie: "IT WAS HORRIBLE! A NEGATIVE TIME TOGTHER! I’m gonna explode- I haven’t taken you on an actual date in MONTHS!!!”

Vaggie: “So let’s go then.”

Charlie: “I know we can’t just leave the hotel, but that doesn’t stop-”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Huh?”

Vaggie: “Let’s go. We can take the rest of the night off.”

Charlie: “….can we?”

Vaggie: “Sure. Niffty’s busy with her new murder plant buddies, Husk’s busy being sick, Angel Dust’s busy with Husk, and Cherri Bomb… well. If the singing cannibal duo wants to keep playing exploding volleyball with her out back then that’s their problem, not ours.”

Charlie: “It’ll be our problem REAL quick if anyone spikes the bomb at the hotel!”

Vaggie: “It’ll be just another Tuesday, another hole in the wall, and a chance for Cherri to learn about the wonders of vacuum cleaners and wall plaster.”

Charlie: “Which you won’t be able to sleep knowing about until you’ve redone the whole thing yourself.”

Vaggie: “That’s still just another Tuesday.”

Charlie: “What about Husk being sick? AND suffering under Angel Dust’s dubiously sexy medical care?”

Vaggie: “If they’re bothering each other they can’t be getting into trouble with anyone else. Win-win.”

Charlie: “Niffty is building an army.”

Vaggie: “Good for her.”

Charlie: “She might be planning on wiping out all life in the hotel???”

Vaggie: “Hell forbid the cleaning ladies do anything.”

Charlie: “Why are you suddenly so okay with mess and chaos? You HATE messes and chaos! You patrol the hotel just to check everyone’s doing what you thought they’d be doing, based on all the little schedules you keep making on them!”

Vaggie: “Which they didn’t need to hear you yelling about but sure.”

Charlie: “You refold all my laundry so the creases line up just right! Why- oh no.”

Charlie: (gasp) “Vaggie, don’t panic, but I think the evil fail cookies are affecting you-”

Vaggie: “Charlie-” (laughing) “-no, they’re not. Maybe I’m fine with a little extra mess and chaos, if it means spending time with you.”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Vaggie: “Triangle. Wanna go on a date with me?”

Charlie: “YE- wait, you’re sure though?”

Vaggie: “I’m sure.”

Charlie: “Really sure?”

Vaggie: “Very.”

Charlie: “It’s not a fun date if it makes you super stressed afterwards.”

Vaggie: “I’m always stressed. It’d be nice if I could at least get some uninterrupted ‘stare at my beautiful girlfriend’ time while I’m at it.”

Charlie: “The hotel’s gonna be in RUINS when we get back. Our friends might be on fire by then.”

Vaggie: “C’mon, they’re not our kids. They’re all responsible adults….”

Chaggie: “…..”

Vaggie: “….they’re all adults…”

Charlie: “Who we’re kinda responsible for…?”

Vaggie: “Not for tonight.”

Charlie: (sighing) “That WOULD be nice.”

Vaggie: “So let’s make it happen. Date night?”

Charlie: “-ES YES YES YES YES-”

Vaggie: “That a yes?”

Charlie: “YES!!! I- Hold on, wait wait, I’ve got-”

Charlie: (pulls out several papers covered in writing and diagrams)

Charlie: “…I’ve got, let’s see here-”

Vaggie: “Notes?”

Charlie: “-seven quick pick up date ideas that don’t need ANY preparation-”

Vaggie: “You made plans for dates you didn’t even think we’d go on?”

Charlie: “Well it never hurts to dream about something, right? That way you get to have fun either way, and you’ll be ready if it does happen!”

Vaggie: “I love you.”

Charlie: (grinning) “You love that you’ve infected me with note cards and organizing thoughts and things~”

Vaggie: “That too.”

Charlie: “Well according to my wonderful notes, the least stressful date option is…. Cannibal Town!”

Vaggie: “They have that dress code don’t they.”

Charlie: “Unless you wanna get your cute butt chased for all the wrong reasons, yep! They do!”

Vaggie: “Is this you wanting to see me in a fancy-ass dress?”

Charlie: “And to stroll down the nicely kept streets arm-in-arm with you, enjoyed the quiet atmosphere not filled with random agonized screams, stopping to admire the beautiful and very well composted flower beds…”

Vaggie: “I’d stroll with you anywhere, so count me in.”

Charlie: “YES! Oh I already LOVE THIS- and Vaggie?”

Vaggie: “Yeah?”

Charlie: “I love you too.”

Vaggie: “Wow really. Had no idea.”

Charlie: “Heheh.”

Vaggie: “Honestly there’ve been like, zero hints about that all day.”

Charlie: “I promise I really was trying to be subtle.”

Vaggie: “There’s a lot of words for you, but subtle’s probably not one of them.”

Charlie: “I tried. I tried for youuuuuuu~ For the sake of my girlfriend, I was willing to go against my baser and more dramatic nature!”

Vaggie: “What’s more dramatic than man eating flowers, that’s what I’d like to know.”

Charlie: “A garden.”

Vaggie: “A g- a whole garden?”

Charlie: (shrug) “We’ve got plenty of empty rooms…”

Vaggie: “A garden, sweetie.”

Charlie: “I was thinking of putting a lot of trees and bushes in. Lots of stuff to hide behind.”

Vaggie: “Our own little patch of private picnic paradise, huh?”

Charlie: “Hm-hmm! Or for makeouts. Or both?”

Vaggie: (chuckling) “Not to spoil the mood but… speaking of plants and compost, on our date, should we bring the other half of the cannibal quartet over to Rosie’s while we’re headed there? Or, what’s left of them?”

Charlie: “Mmmmm NAAAH. I wanna have all hands free on the way over.”

Vaggie: “Hands free for what?”

Charlie: “Nothing~”

Vaggie: “Your hands are already on my ass, Charlie.”

Charlie: “Oh whoops!”

Vaggie: “I didn’t say you could move them.”

Charlie: “That’s why I’m not~”

Vaggie: “You’re in a mood tonight, aren’t you.” (muttering) “I’m not even the one off playing with carnivorous plants, so why's it suddenly feel like I’m in danger...”

Charlie: “Beecaaaause you look dangerously cute in a fancy dress.”

Vaggie: “Says the woman walking around in THAT suit.”

Charlie: “I have to dress sharp! I need to match with my girlfriend!”

Vaggie: “You’ve been wearing that exact same kind of suit since long before you even met me.”

Charlie: “Only through YEARS of unfulfilled potential!”

Vaggie: “Uh huh.”

Charlie: “Tragic, wasted beauty!”

Vaggie: “Hardly wasted with you in it.”

Charlie: “But it was! A jacket crying out for the one woman who’ll finally borrow and wear it the way it was always meant to be worn!”

Vaggie: “With the sleeves falling over my hands?”

Charlie: “With that adorable little blush when you snuggle down into it… Also, the way it falls to almost mid-thigh on you, and how you like wearing it with nothing el-”

Vaggie: “Is this a date night or a do not disturb night?”

Charlie: “Date night!”

Vaggie: “Then stop biting your lip at me.”

Charlie: “Aww.”

Vaggie: “And come help me pick out a fancy dress.”

Charlie: “!!! THE ONE FROM THE COMMERCIAL MAYBE???”

Vaggie: “Oh you liked that look, huh?” (snickering) “Aw babe- is THAT why you stay up replaying the commercial some nights?”

Charlie: “That’s… public image analysis…”

Vaggie: “Whatever you say. Now you now know how I feel every day.”

Charlie: (muttering) “lucky you.”

Vaggie: “You wanna switch things up for the date, or keep the suit?”

Charlie: “Keep, probably..? You like me in the suit~”

Vaggie: “I like you in a lot of things.”

Charlie: “R-right.”

Vaggie: “And nothing.”

Charlie: “I- same.” (horns start popping out) “Um.” (pushes them back in) “Could we also. Wear matching hats?”

Vaggie: “Of course we’re wearing matching hats. This is supposed to be a fancy date right?”

Charlie: “Very. Very fancy.”

Vaggie: “Well nothing’s fancier than hats."

Charlie: "WHEEE! With flowers on them, yeah!?"

Vaggie: "Have I ever let you down?”

Charlie: “Never.”

Vaggie: “And do you promise not to bring me anymore demonic flowers or singing quartets?”

Charlie: “… I’ll do my best.”

Vaggie: “Perfect.”

Vaggie: “…”

Vaggie: “I wouldn’t say no to a few more of those cookies though-”

Charlie: “NO.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, they were good.”

Charlie: “No. Absolutely no, I am NOT poisoning you on purpose. Not even if you ask me nicely and pout about it like that.”

Vaggie: “You deny the cookies?”

Charlie: “Don’t even start-”

Vaggie: “Girlfriend abuse. Toxic relationship alert.”

Charlie: “Those 'cookies' were the MOST TOXIC THING that our relationship has EVER seen!”

Vaggie: “They were made with love.”

Charlie: “And likely heavy metals? The fact that you willingly ate them is maybe the most WORRYING thing our relationship has ever seen…”

Vaggie: “Cough exorcist lie cough cough.”

Charlie: “Totally different. That didn’t put you in active danger-”

Niffty: “SPEAKING OF DANGER!”

Chaggie: (screaming)

Niffty: “My murder plant babies are in danger.”

Vaggie: “HOW can- how can those things BE in danger?”

Charlie: “NIFFTY PLEASE! The knocking?? The not dropping from air vents???”

Niffty: “Only in emergencies, I remember! This is an emergency. Husk is feeding himself to my murder plan babies.”

Vaggie: “Why.”

Niffty: “Escaping nurse Angel Dust and unnecessary CPR.”

Charlie: “Oh for-”

Vaggie: “Let him. They won’t kill him. Permanently, anyway.”

Charlie: “…. Hm.”

Niffty: “What if my murder babies get food poisoning from second hand bad cookies?”

Vaggie: “Seek revenge for them or something?”

Niffty: “OoooOOOH!”

Niffty: (scuttles away cackling)

Charlie: “Oh noooo, you’ve given her an idea-”

Vaggie: “Too late to stop her now. C’mon.” (grabbing charlie’s hand) “Make a break for our room before anyone else-”

Cherri Bomb: “Hey girls! Uh, you were planning on making a pit for a hotel swimming pool, right? Like, one already kinda full of blood? Right out back? Right???”

Chaggie: “….”

Charlie: “… Hello~! Charlie and Vaggie can’t be reached at the moment!”

Vaggie: “We’ll be out all night.”

Cherri Bomb: “And the pool of blood-?”

Charlie: “So please leave a message at the sound of the beep!”

Vaggie: “Beeeeep.” (at charlie) “Run.”  

Charlie: (scooping up vaggie) “My legs are longer-”

Vaggie: “Brilliant thinking sweetie now GO GO GO!!!”

Chaggie: (flees)

Cherri Bomb: “…..”

Cherri Bomb: “They take the u-haul thing seriously, huh.”

-their room-

Charlie: “….Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “Yeah?”

Charlie: “Stop it.”

Vaggie: “Stop what?”

Charlie: “Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “Mmm?”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “…..fine, FINE!” (groaning) “I’ll see about salvaging the burnt remains of the evil cursed cookie recipe when we get back. Now will you PLEASE stop messing with your flawless hair and put the dress on? Or anything!? Anything being put on would be good now too!”

Vaggie: (smiling) “No idea what you mean babe, but alright.” (quietly to herself) “Mission success.”

Charlie: “I heard that.”

-exiting hotel-

Vaggie: “Almost there.”

Charlie: “Oh please my dad who’s probably in a pile of duckies, please just let us make it out the d-”

(horrific screaming from deeper inside hotel)

Charlie: “…..”

Vaggie: “….”

Charlie: “We didn’t hear that.”

Vaggie: “We kinda already did, sweetie.”

Charlie: “No.” (pouting) “No. We can hear it when we get back.”

Vaggie: “Fine by me.”

Charlie: (SIGHING) “Even though we’re gonna hear allllll about not hearing it when we get back...”

Vaggie: “Worth it.”

Charlie: (grinning) “Think so?”

Vaggie: “Do you?”

Charlie: (already tugging them out the door by their entwined hands) “More than worth it.” (lifts and twirls vaggie down the hotel steps) “Whooosh!”

Vaggie: “Oh is THIS why you really wanted me in a fancy dress? For the ‘whoosh’?”

Charlie: “That, and for the way you smile when I whoosh you~”

[hothammies]

the party leader, mike wheeler - apoc au character details + poll under the cut!

---

mike's role in the party:

a scouter - essentially plans runs, checks areas first to ensure safety, and directs the runners during supply runs

assigns basic survival chores at the beginning of each day (laundry, boiling water, patrol, hunting, etc.)

is the "face" of the party -> always the one to negotiate with people of other groups

even though the party likes to give him shit for being kind of rude and bossy about how he talks to them in "leader" mode - they always hang onto his every word! they love and respect him deeply

kind of like a tired dad whenever he's not fighting with someone else -> basically watches over everyone to make sure they're okay

would never hesitate to do something deplorable to protect the party: family first

skills + hobbies:

considered the designated driver (along with max): nancy taught him when he was younger. he was scared about being useless due to his inability to shoot and aim guns so nancy helped him find something useful. max teaches him how to drive manual so that he can drive her muscle car (its how they get over their distaste for each other)

writes an entry in a journal that he stole every day! he lets will doodle in the margins of the paper :)

loves to read whatever's around - particularly interested in history, sci-fi, and old journals from people before the apocalypse (reads them with dustin and el -> they are nosy as hell and live for the drama)

great at using machetes and hatchets -> do NOT let this boy shoot a gun. he will accidentally hurt you and himself

good at fixing up guns and navigating - lucas (guns) and dustin (navigating) taught him :D

quirks / fun facts:

he likes to switch around the pins on his jacket a lot! the party find pins around to give to him (range from terrible to wearable)

since he's the only boy that likes to tie up his hair, max and el like to doll up and play around with his hair during their downtime

is very annoying and particular when it comes to doing survival chores (out of love) -> makes sure that the chores are divided equally among all of them and that no one gets the same chores twice in a row

--- other notes: mike was the first character i had in mind when thinking about this au (no surprise there) and the drawing of him sitting cross legged with a machete in his hand was the first ever "official" drawing i made for this :D i tried to make apoc mike similar to canon mike in terms of his temperament, his hero complex, his self-sacrificial tendencies, his inability to appropriately process his romantic feelings, his natural leadership and his personality. about mike's inability to use guns -> looking at mike's character dnd sheet, his dexterity is low and s1 mike wheeler cannot aim for shit either (see his rock throw). the reason he's most comfortable with machetes (and hatchets) is because of their versatility as both weapons and tools! just wanted to share because i think mike needed a nerf and him not being able to shoot guns is both in character and funny as hell to me i've had mike and will's char sheets done for a while and i really love the way they look :) i'm excited to post will's next! i'm working on the character sheets in batches of two, so which duo are yall most interested to see next? i'll work on them based on the poll results and post them next week at the earliest :) i'll prob also try out some concept designs for the demogorgon-like zombies sometime soon as well!

[dragon-chica]

Cryptid Hunting - Eddie & Venom x Reader

Fandom: Marvel / Venom

Dear gods it's been a long time since I wrote but this duo? marry me.

You have a love for monsters and stories, folklore and cryptozoology especially the more interesting creatures, in particular.

Eddie once had asked you if you really believe in all those stories, legends and cryptids and folklore. He found them interesting and entertaining, especially some of your favorites you shared with him, but didn't consider a lot on the subject.

"Babe, your body contains an alien slime that cured your cancer and eats your ass. This is just a cursed child that flew out a chimney and haunts New Jersey. No offense, Venom, honey."

"NONE TAKEN."

"That's fair."

You had always wanted to try cryptid hunting just for fun, but could never convince anyone to join you for a night of tomfuckery in a creepy area with legends and rumors.

Eddie though, had no excuse.

Your reasoning was, he's a journalist, he should investigate this story, spinning your laptop around with an article on a chosen cryptid for him to look at while you also read about it from one of your cryptozoology and folklore books.

Your second reason was, he's your boyfriend and "Please, please, please, please baby?"

Which of course he could never say no to, not that it helps that Venom is also now pleading along with you.

"YES EDDIE, PRETTY PLEASE? WE CAN FIND IT AND EAT IT. AN EXOTIC SNACK, AND WE WILL IMPRESS THEM."

Both his lovers pleading for him to do something? He's a lovestruck sucker as is, even if it is walking around like a couple of dumbasses in the dark. He's done weirder.

You honestly didn't actually expect him to agree though, and are ecstatic that he does.

Your excitement and the big kiss on his cheek is already worth it he thinks.

"SEE EDDIE? WE ARE AMAZING PARTNERS. MORE CRYPTIDS AND MORE KISSES."

You make a day out of it, a roadtrip.

With snacks. Lots of snacks, and one guy at a gas station that was just awful. "HE DIDN'T TASTE VERY GOOD EITHER."

All in all, Eddie was having a good day. Time off spent with his favorite beings, a scenic drive, wearing shoes. Not really expecting much of the "cryptid hunt" besides walking around in the dark and talking to the woods like ghosthunters.

But you and Venom were hyped, as soon as you parked in a secluded area and geared up with flashlights and a video camera, he didn't know who was more excited.

Venom was hovering over his shoulder, head whipping around so much he was spinning Eddie as he went, following you "to a good spot."

You sat in the woods for awhile together waiting for it to get dark, wrapped in a cozy hoodie and leaning against Eddie while reading to him different stories from one of your cryptid books.

When darkness settled around you and something could be heard walking through the brush, you flashlight spun toward it.

"DO NOT WORRY MORSEL, WE ARE THE LETHAL PROTECTOR. YOU ARE SAFE."

Eddie did not expect, at the sound of something moving closer in the woods, for Venom to jump out of him, and into you. Backing up with black good around your hand now shaking with the beam towards it.

"What the hell V?" he whisper shouted while your other hand covered your mouth trying to hide a snicker.

"THAT'S ENOUGH HUNTING FOR TONIGHT."

A weird trilling sound came for the forest and Venom encased you, going full form and grabbing Eddie over your shoulder before sprinting back to the card and tossing him inside.

Your flashlights, heavy duty and bought just for this, were long forgotten while multiple tentacles rummaged around Eddie before finding the keys and slamming them in the ignition.

"What's wrong V? i thought you wanted to eat a cryptid for me?"

You try to soothe and pet him while Eddie gets his bearings again.

"NOT HUNGRY. THE UGLY MAN GAVE US INDIGESTION. BESIDES, EDDIE WAS SCARED."

"HEY!"

Eventually, against Venom's protests on Eddie being a chicken and too scared to continue, Eddie trekked back to retrieve your gear, Venom back with him and switching from full cowl to hiding inside him again while you waited in the car.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

DPxDC prompt #10: Vicki Vale will roast Vlad alive

[Props and credit to @starry-songs-canvas for creating this idea (sorta) which can be seen and read here... Which I then created the inverse of for this prompt thing... Enjoy!]

After the latest story she published, Vicki Vale of the Gotham Gazette needed to lay low. Preferably somewhere that wasn't Gotham City. She knew that she was provoking retaliation by reporting on Gotham's crime families and their latest involvement in city hall, but she didn't care. The truth needed to be known, and her own personal safety was just a small sacrifice that she was more than happy to make for it.

However, the Gotham Gazette couldn't risk having their star reporter getting mysteriously (but suspiciously) killed in one of Gotham's many, many dark backalleyways. So until the heat died down a little, they decided to assign her to a story out of town where she would undoubtedly be safer.

So that's how Vicki Vale of the Gotham Gazette ended up in Amity Park. She was supposed to be working on a fluff piece. This city had apparently been dealing with one hell of a ghost infestation for a while now, and the Justice League had done practically nothing to help this city deal with this problem. The article was supposed to be about the Justice League and underserved Midwestern cities dealing with unusual problems that only the Justice League could solve. So imagine her surprise when she arrived to town and started digging, only to find a few independent parties actually already dealing with the city's ghost problem, containing the ghosts, and keeping this problem from spreading elsewhere.

Foremost, there was a scientist husband and wife duo who were ghost hunting specalists and inventors. Out of everyone dealing with ghosts in the city, they surprisingly seemed to be the best prepared and had the best equipment for the job. In fact, all of the other major ghost hunting groups and individuals seemed to be using technology based off of their designs... (Certainly there was a story there and someone was probably breaking patent laws, but that would have to be a story for another day.) Secondly were the Guys in White- A little known government organization that specialized in the search and study of ghosts and other possible supernatural anomalies. She had been acquainted with them before, however the task force assigned to this city seemed... Less competent than most... Third was an individual ghost hunter dressed all in red who was known to have a particularly personal hatred for ghosts. She would ride a kind of rocket board over town, and rumor had it that she was actually a teenage girl who was attending the local high school and did the ghost hunting on her hours off from school. Out of the groups of ghost hunters in town, she seemed more interested in destroying ghosts rather than capturing and studying them like the other ghost hunters in town. And last, but certainly not least, was the local ghost boy celebrity hero- a ghost who looked much like a teenage boy who was previously known to the town as "Invis-O-Bill" before it was stated on the news that his name was actually, "Danny Phantom." No one knew why the ghost boy had such a keen interest in capturing ghosts and, according to the rumors, returning them to the place from whence they came, but his efforts were well-known throughout the town, and he was largely adored by the city for it- Especially by the younger crowd.

Vicki had decided to do her due diligence and interview these different groups of ghost hunters before writing this story off entirely. The interviews were interesting, but offered very little for her story. There seemed to be a consensus. While the number of ghosts that needed to be captured could be overwhelming at times, and while the time commitment to hunting ghosts absolutely destroyed the possibility of them having any free time, between the Fentons, Phantom, and the anonymous ghost hunter in red- Whom Vicki had decided to dub "the Red Huntress" for her story (a name that the red-clad ghost hunter seemed to like)- they largely had the problem covered. Sure, backup from the Justice League could be helpful and appreciated, but they didn't really think that the Justice League would be well equipped for their specific problem, and they mostly had it handled. In fact, the Fentons and Red Huntress alike seemed to have a particular passion for ghost hunting that they had no interest in giving up for anything!

As for the question of why people outside of Amity Park thought that this was a problem, while the people actually living there didn't... That yielded a more interesting response... For their part, the Fentons and the Red Huntress didn't know where this perception that they couldn't handle the job was coming from (in fact, the Red Huntress seemed to take particular offense to this idea)... But the Phantom offered a very curious response.

"I don't know... Maybe Vlad's keeping the press from talking about it...?"

"Vlad...?"

"Uh... Yeah! Vlad Masters? The mayor of Amity Park...?"

"You think that he's keeping the news from reporting on the successes of Amity Park's ghost hunters?" Vicki asked it as more of a statement than a question.

"Well, I know that he pays off the local papers to make him look good and for me to look bad, so... I guess it's possible...?"

Vicki thought that was interesting. Very interesting indeed. She thanked the ghost for his time and watched as he flew off, doubtless to find other ghosts menacing the population of Amity Park to defeat them.

She let out a heavy sigh. It looks like this fluff piece about how the Justice League wasn't doing enough to help this community was going to be a bust. The ghost problem was largely covered, and she had suspicions that the Justice League knew this and therefore felt no need to interfere. That wasn't a bad thing. And it certainly wasn't enough of an actual problem to be reported on.

As a reporter, Vicki knew when to trust her gut. And right now her gut was telling her that there was something much more interesting going on in this town other than a little bit of neglect from the Justice League. She pulled out her phone and called her editor-in-chief.

"Hey there, Mr. Ito. Yeah, I'm still in Amity Park, laying low. Think that it's safe for me to come home yet?" She listened to her boss reply over the line. "Oh no, no, that's not a problem at all! I just wanted to call because I think that the current piece is a bust... However... I think that I've come across something even better! Think you can get me some info?" She waited for her boss' response. "Of course, of course! I just wanted to check in with you first. But if you wouldn't mind, could you get someone to help me with digging up as much dirt as we can on Vlad Masters, the current mayor of Amity Park? I just got a tip that he may be paying off the papers here. And from what I've seen, I think that there's something more... Suspicious about him. For now it's just a hunch. But there's something here. I just need to find it."

[vln-vibes]

The Good Ol’ Switcheroo

GUYS

GUYS

GUYS

I know there’s fics out there with switcheroo hijinks with Tim and Danny but imagine this---

Jazz and Babs

and

Danny and Tim

But like at the same time

So the Fentons are visiting Gotham, the reason why is a bit up in the air;

Jazz wants to visit the Gotham U campus, the Fentons have a meeting with W.E for a business deal (they’re sus about the whole ghost hunting thing but it doesn’t hurt to scope out what they’re capable of) or maybe they’re hunting down Batman because they’re sure he’s a ghost. Reader’s choice tbh.

Unfortunately Jazz sprained her ankle the week before while ghost hunting with Team Fenton. This also led to her parents coddling her and she just barely managed to convince them to still go on their trip as a way to get Danny a vacation.  The only caveat; they force her on a wheelchair for the duration of the trip.

Spring forward to a random Thursday afternoon during their vacation; Danny and Jazz were dying of embarrassment (in his case re-dying) with their parents antics. They didn’t think Gothamites would blatantly stare at them all things considered but even they had their standards they guess.

Danny bought himself some sunglasses and a coffee while Jazz just put on her reading glasses and just tried to bury herself in her new Spoiler themed sweater.

Of course that’s when the chaos started.

It was just their luck that just as they finally got away from their parents that a rogue finally attacked; where there was a rogue the Batman wouldn’t be too far behind.

Danny’s plan was just to hide in a random alleyway or wait until the coast was clear to use his powers and fly them back to their hotel room and wait for everything to die (hah) back down. That’s not what ended up happening.

“There you guys are, c’mon time to suit up”

The duo are too stunned to do anything as they’re dragged off by this random rich guy (Bruce Wayne) and into a really expensive and familiar looking car (the Batmobile). The door folds open and Jazz’s wheelchair is fastened in seconds, Danny just kinda goes to sit next to her (can’t let his sister be kidnapped by herself). 

There’s a guy sitting shotgun next to the original alley guy. He’s wearing a mask. Oh shit its Nightwing.

“Looks like Freeze is at it again, Uptown’s already halfway covered in ice. No time to waste Red Robin”

Red Robin? Like the food chain??

In those few seconds the Batmobile is speeding off, the alley guy is now the Batman and they’re passing a speeding RV going the other way. Cue that one Umbrella Academy meme but its Tim and Babs staring back at Danny and Jazz.

A compartment opens up revealing Red Robin’s suit with the cowl. 

‘Why the hell not? It’s not like it’ll kill me’ is all Danny thinks while he puts on the outfit, ditching the cowl tho because it looks ugly and instead grabs one of ‘Robin’s’ extra masks that were next to it. He took a selfie and sent it to Sam and Tucker, one also featuring a Done looking Jazz.

“You got that RR?”

“Hn yeah sure”

It isn’t until halfway through their fight with Mr.Freeze, not even noticing how the usually chilly Tim doesn’t look the slightest bit cold, when they meet up with Black Bat that any of them are clued in to what happened.

“Not Red Robin. New brother?”

“What are you talking about Cass, he’s right there?”

Cue to Danny using Tim’s bo staff to propel himself and air kick Mr.Freeze’s helmet.

“Ice to meet you frosty!”

“Yeah no. Our parents may be nuts but we’re not open for adoption” Jazz quips from the comms, strangely not too different from the system Tucker uses when they out hunting for ghosts.

“Wait I thought you were just recovering from the cold!?”

“Twisted ankle actually. On your five!”

Meanwhile Jack and Maddie got a ecto signature at the other side of town. They spotted Danny and Jazz leaving the library, grabbed them (not noticing the yelling crowds running the other way). 

They let the GAV fasten the kids in before speeding off to catch the ghost.

In his defense Tim was working on one hour of sleep in the last 48 hours and Bab’s lost her voice from her cold. In all the ensuing chaos Babs dropped her phone and Tim’s just ran out of juice.

They’d thought it was a Standard Wayne and Co Kidnapping until the duo in hazmat suits kept referring to them as Jazz and Dann-o. Hopefully not insane and trying to fake being a family. Hopefully

They take a turn into Crime Alley and the duo look at each other as they see the GPS head towards one of Red Hood’s places.

This would be good

[arc-misadventures]

An Offer You Won’t Refuse

Jaune: Why can’t you guys believe me when I say I got laid?

SN: Because it’s you.

Jaune: Haaaa… Assholes.

The person complaining that his roommates couldn’t believe he had sex was one, Jaune Luna Arc. A first year college student majoring in business. While his collage roommate’s doubting the fact that he had sex were a blonde hair monkey faunas named, Sun Wukong, and their friend the blue haired self proclaimed ‘ladies man’ named, Neptune Vasilias.

The duo had dragged, Jaune to a bar with the intent of, ‘picking up some ladies.’ And, where he had actually managed to score a night with a beautiful lady, they had failed to get anything. And, because of this they doubted that he got anything. Actually, now that he’s thinking about it…

Jaune: You guys are just jealous I spent a night with a lady, while the only thing you guys got was a pair of matching black eyes.

Jaune’s remark was a very accurate statement of fact that after he come from an enjoyable one-night stand he came back to see the pair with ice packs over their eyes.

Sun: Not true!

Neptune: I would have totally banged that chick! If her boyfriend didn’t arrive…

Jaune: Yeah, that’s why you didn’t get any.

Neptune: Hey man, you just don’t understand the art, of seduction~!

Jaune: The what?

Sun: The art of seducing a woman~!

Jaune: And, that is?

Neptune: We’re falcons pal…

Sun: Falcons~!

Neptune: You can’t just send us out when a pretty girls is there, and expect us to capture her now can you?

Sun: That’s not how we falcons fly.

Neptune: We gotta fly high, and scope out the prey, and when we find our mark we’ll swoop in for the kill. We just can’t go in, and steal the girl on command now can we?

Sun: It’s an art, Jaune. You wouldn’t understand it.

Jaune just looked at the duo as he was forced to comprehend the dumbest thing he had yet heard, and considering the people who he hung around that was something.

Jaune: What the hell are you two talking about?! Yes you can send a falcon out on command to hunt its prey! There’s an entire sport based around it: Falconry!

Sun: Eh?

Neptune: Beg pardon?

Jaune: It’s like one of the oldests sports out there! People are still doing it to this day! Hell, people have been using falcons, and hawks to take down drones!

Neptune: That’s not true… right?

Sun: Oh shit, they actually use hawks to take down drones.

Neptune: Wait really?!

Jaune: Haa… if hitting on girls was like hitting the broadside of a barn, you lot couldn’t hit it with a, Javelin missile.

Sun: I couldn’t do that!

Neptune: Guns scare me!

Jaune dropped his head as he sighed at the duo’s stupidity, or more accurately their ignorance.

Although stupidity is a more adept description the pair. The duo would offer a drowning man a drink thinking he’s not drowning, just really thirsty.

Jaune: A Javelin missile is an rpg with an auto-lock feature. Not a gun.

Neptune: There’s a difference?

Jaune: Haa… you see this is why I don’t invite you to play, Arma with my clan.

Neptune: Well we may not know the difference between… weapons…? But, that still doesn’t mean you had sex with a girl.

Jaune: Guys, it’s been two weeks since we went to the bar, can we just drop it, and move…

“Knock, knock, knock.”

Jaune: On…?

Jaune stopped talking in his tracks as he heard a knocking upon the door. He looked at the pair while pointing his finger at the door.

Jaune: We’re you…?

The pair shook their heads, and shrugged their shoulders. They weren’t expecting anyone to come visit them. Like anyone would anyway.

Jaune just shrugged his shoulders as he walked over, and opened the door, he was met with several individuals dressed in black suits with tinted shades hiding their face. The quartet seemed to be watching around them to see if anyone was coming.

Jaune was worried they were a hit squad coming to make get their mark. He could only cower as he wondered whose girl, Neptune pissed off that they would put a mark on him. But, that thought swiftly died as he started at the woman between what actually were four bodyguards. For it was not someone he expected to meet again. He never thought she would grace his presence with her beauty ever again.

With flowing ashen white hair cascading down her elegant shoulders. Draped in a tapestry of fine jewelry of silver, sapphires, and ruby’s. A red gown that displayed a fair amount of her sizeable cleavage, as a dark coat hung lazily off her shoulders. But, what drew, Jaune in the most were those red tinted glasses, that hid a pair of striking vibrant red eyes that he lost himself in.

It was the lady from his one night stand. A woman, Jaune would never forget until death took him.

Jaune: S-Salem?!

Salem: Hello, Ar… no. Hello, Jaune. You’re looking well.

Jaune: Thank you! Y-You’re looking fantastic. But, uhh… why are you here? You said after our… night together that it would be just a one time thing, and we would never see each other again. And, yet here you are.

Salem: And, yet here I am…

Jaune could barely see, Salem’s eyes because they blended beautifully with her glasses, but he could tell by the way her body was seemingly twitching that she was nervous. He was about to ask her whats wrong, but then his roommates happened.

Sun: Holy hell?! You actually had sex?!

Neptune: Damnmmm! She is smoking hot! How much did she cost you? Eh, eh?!

Salem could tell by his teasing manner upon which the blue boy spoke he was joking with, Jaune. But, to insinuate that she was a call girl?! Maybe she should let her associates teach this child some manners.

But before, Salem could give the command, Jaune held a single finger up, silently asking for a moment before shutting the door. She was wondering what was going on, but then she heard a loud thud as if something had fallen over. As the door soon reopened to reveal the smiling face of, Jaune Arc. She could see behind him the form of the blue haired boy, groaning in pain as he clutched his groin.

Salem shot, Jaune a small smile from the corner of her lips, and he just waved it off as if it was nothing.

Jaune: So… What bring you to our humble abode?

Salem: I need to discuss something with you of the utmost importance.

Jaune: Okay, what is it?

Salem’s eyes darted around as if she was trying to find the words to speak before she returned his gaze.

Salem: This would be a discussion best help in private.

Jaune nodded his head as he told his friends to scram. The blond monkey nodded his head as he pulled his friend, who was in the fetal position whilst still clutching his privates on the floor out the room. As soon as they were out of the room, Jaune stood aside allowing, Salem to enter his dorm room.

Salem: Thank you for allowing me… in…?

Salem’s thought process stopped in its tracks rather abruptly. She was going to tell him something important, but as she took in the absolute state of, Jaune’s apartment her mind did a reset, and was the midst of a reboot as she processed this, ‘mess.’

Jaune was about to ask her if something was wrong, then he saw where her eyes were going, and he sighed in understanding.

Jaune: Yeah its a…

Salem: A pig sty?

Jaune: That’s an… apt description.

Jaune’s apartment was an absolute mess: Wrappers, and empty bottles strewn across the place. Half finished take out boxes laying across every table in sight. Clothes from teeshirts to underwear draped all over the furniture. But, there was one thing that was most damning of all that was the crown jewel of this pig sty.

Salem: I-Is that a banana peel on the lamp shade?

Jaune: Haa… Gods dammit, Sun…

Jaune looked over, and groaned in disgust as he grabbed a bucket, seemingly filled to the brim with banana peels, and tossed the latest addition into the bucket.

Jaune: Sun, uhh… the blond monkey faunas you saw earlier. His family are all monkey faunas’s so the have a habit of eating a banana, and tossing the peal away when they’re finished.

Salem: Not into the trash I assume?

Jaune: Unfortunately not. I’ve told him to stop doing that, but he won’t listen to me. So, I’ve been collecting his banana peels for the past two weeks, and I plan to stuff them in his pillow case as form of petty vengeance.

Salem: Do you think that will work?

Jaune: Well, they stink so they should send a message of sorts. If not I’ll tie his tail to the bed frame, or something.

Salem: You would do that to a faunas; That seems rather cruel don’t you think?

Jaune: I have slipped on several banana peels, and landed hard on my back, I will make sure he learns through pain that I am very vindictive bastard.

Salem: And, is the rest of this mess from that blue haired boy?

Jaune: Neptune? Ehh no. It’s from both of them, they’re total slobs. I was about to threaten them with bodily harm if they didn’t clean up the place. But, they started going on again that I totally didn’t have sex with a woman who had the body of an angel carved from the finest of marble slabs, craved painstakingly by a superb master craftsman.

Salem: Why thank you~! You would make a handsome marble statue yourself, Jaune.

Jaune: …

Jaune: Ahck?! I-I-I’m sorry?! I didn’t want to tell them anything about you, but they wouldn’t believe me, so I had to say something?! N-Not a lie, you are gorgeous! Divine even… But… Uhh… It’s a little hot in here…? Perhaps I s-should open a window…

Jaune made way for a window, but was stopped in his tracks as he heard, Salem’s melody of laughter. During the time they spent at the bar talking, he spent every moment trying to get a laugh out of her. Her laughter was angelic, and her smile divine. One he spent the whole night trying to make appear before his very eyes.

Salem had told him the sad story of her life, and her past love. It was a story of sorrow, regret, and betrayal. A love that was, a life that could have been, and the truth to a lie that ruined it all.

She didn’t tell him every detail, it was her right to have her secrets. Jaune didn’t want to know everything either, they were just two strangers sitting alone at a bar. One musing over her drink, the other musing over time. He was just there to be the ear who heard her complaining, the voice to ask the question she wanted asked, and the shoulder to cry over.

Afterwards, Salem asked if, Jaune could give her a ride home. She hadn’t drunk a lot, but even a little alcohol mixed with driving a car could be fatal. And, being the gentleman he tried to be, he accepted her request for aid.

He took her home, and he would have left things at that. But, she insisted that he come in, he remembered her giving him a vague excuse of why he should stay, but he never remembered it. What made him stay was the pleading look in her eyes that beg that she didn’t want to be alone. So he stayed, and one thing lead to another, and he awoke in her bed with her resting softly against him.

It was a moment of weakness, and desire of the flesh. One that they both knew that shouldn’t have happened. But, it was one neither would deny they regretted. After that they agreed to part ways, they would never regret this moment of fleeting love shared between them. But, it was a one time deal, and they would never see each other again.

And yet, Salem was here, right now, right before, Jaune’s very eyes.

Jaune: Why don’t we go to my room? I can assure you it doesn’t look like a bomb went off at a dump.

Jaune opened the door to his room, and ushered, Salem inside his room. Salem was hesitant to enter his room, because it was his, but he assured her it wasn’t like the pigsty she was currently standing in, so she walked in. And, what surprised her ahead l was that, Jaune, once again, he was true to his word.

While the description of, ‘a bomb that went off at a dump,’ was an adept description of their living room, Jaune’s room was a complete contrast to that.

His bed was made, his clothes hanged on their hooks, his floor was vacuumed, and his books neatly arrange along the book case. Even the little figurines he had were neatly in their display cases. The only mess there was upon his desk where an assortment of art supplied, and school books lay strewn about. And, if anything, it would be considered an organized mess at best.

Jaune: Would you like a seat?

Jaune pushed, his charge towards her, and graciously offered her a seat. Salem looked towards the chair, and simply shook her head at his kind offer.

Salem: No, no thank you. But, perhaps you should take a seat.

Jaune: Why, is something wrong, Salem?

Salem: Over a week after our night together, I went in for a medical check up. Standard routine check up for me, I usually have one every three months, or so.

Jaune: That’s a good routine to have. I probably should get a check up myself, it’s been a while since I last saw a doctor.

Salem: Yes… while I was having my check up… They discovered something rather… unexpected…

Jaune: You’re dying?!

Jaune didn’t understand why someone he had a fling with was coming here to tell him that. Unless, was it his fault she was dying?

Jaune was about to start having a panic attack, when, Salem rushed forward, and spoke softly as she tried to calm his nerves.

Salem: Nononono… It’s nothing like that. Quite the opposite really.

Jaune: What’s the opposite of dying? Reincarnation?

Salem laughed as she shook her head, taking off her glasses, and gently placing them on his desk.

Salem: I forgot how much of an adorable goofball you are.

Jaune: Thank you?

Salem: Jaune… let me put this to you bluntly.

Jaune: Okay?

Salem straightened her back, and started, Jaune dead in the eye. Crimson, and cerulean locked in a bitter struggle, neither wanting to look away from the beauty before their eyes.

What felt like an eternity, but merely lasted a few seconds, Salem took a deep breath, and told, Jaune the reasons she was here. A reason that filled her with equal parts dread, and hope. So, with those blood red eyes, she stared at the young man, and spoke words with a voice of steel that completely enthralled him to ever word that dropped from her luscious red lips.

Salem: Jaune… You better take responsibility, or else…

Jaune: …

Jaune: Eh…?

[thevoidstaredback]

The interview went as all interviews had in the past. Almost. The only thing worse than interviewing Bruce Wayne or Tim Drake-Wayne is interviewing them together. Not that Clark's ever had the pleasure before now.

Separate, they're tolerable, easy to talk to and understand, a nice flow to the conversation. Together, they're constantly switching off with strange, almost not there pauses between the question and their answer. sometimes, they both go to answer before one twitches and the other answers.

In the rare times where Clark's seen the two at an event outside of Gotham that he's covering, the two - and their family, now that he thinks about it - have always seemed just barely this side of surreal. He'd first chalked it up to celebrity worship, or even just their status, but he's met and talked to tens of celebrities and they've never made him feel this way.

Batman, as he thinks, makes him feel this way. Like he's in the presence of something not quite right; like his friend is barely toeing the line of something other than human.

Maybe it's a Gotham thing? Because the other of Batman's Cauldron give off the same strange feelings. Most of the Wayne Family, too, but not all.

'Supernatural', Clark things is the word he's looking for.

But that's crazy because Batman goes out of his way to avoid anything supernatural as much as he can, outside of necessity.

As he walks away from the building an hour later, Clark shudders. He hadn't realized the intense weight he was under until he'd left the father-son duo behind, but now it was obvious. Despite every warning from anyone who's ever been to Gotham, Clark finds himself relaxing now that he's in the open.

Being in the open is safe. Being in the open means that he can flee in almost any direction with a big changes of escaping.

But why does he feel like that? Like he's prey at the mercy of something that's not quite on the hunt yet?

Twenty minutes after leaving Wayne Tower, Clark finds himself in a quaint little cafe. There's a dog door in the far wall, leading to the bodega next door, though no animal has come through it yet.

The lights in the building are low, only just bright enough to make sure no one trips on anything. Curtains cover the windows entirely, but they're not black-outs.

Thanks to his superpowers, Clark hears the noise several streets over. It's the same sound that Batman's grappling gun makes whenever he doesn't want Superman to carry him. That must mean that one of the Cauldron is out. Signal, if he's not mistaken.

Against every part of his journalistic self, Clark doesn't research his coworkers or their compatriots. If they want him to know something, they usually tell him. So, he has no idea what to do now that Signal - there's a bat on his chest! - has come into this dim, tiny cafe an hour before Clark's train leaves.

Signal gives him the same feeling that Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne gave him. It's the same feeling that Batman gives off, but slightly to the left.

The barista is much friendlier to Signal than they were to Clark. "Hey, Signal! The same as usual?"

Signal smiles, Clark thinks, though the helmet makes it hard to be sure. "Yes, please. And, could you add on Red Robin's normal order?"

The barista raises an eyebrow, ringing up the order. "Evening shift said that Robin told them that RR's been cut off by Batman. I'm not gonna have him on my ass, right?"

A laugh falls from Signal. "No, don't worry about it."

"He bribed you, didn't he." It's not a question.

"Yeah."

A snort. "All right."

THe drinks are made and handed off shortly thereafter. Clark can't help but wonder what the hell he just witnessed.

Part 2 Part 3

[midnightkolrath]

Rewatching DMC5 cutscenes again and got to the cutscene where the gang are trying to escape the collapsing roots

Lady trying to console Nero over finding out Vergil's his dad and that he doesn't have to be the one to put him down then backing away once Nero shoves her off due to his conflicted emotions

This is after she tells him that he'd never get recover from it...which she stands there herself for a good moment before deciding to try and console him over it. And as we know, after she killed her father in 3...she was very torn up about it.

Hell, after the first time when he faked his death and she swore to hunt down Vergil after being lied to that HE was the reason that he was lying there, dying. I can't imagine how much worse it was after she finally actually got to be the one to put him down. Especially after he yelled at her over not understanding why everything he did was "so wrong" since "Sparda did the same things he did " (Not knowing it was a noble sacrifice and Sparda's actions generally were for non-selfish reasons).

You can even see in the background that she's hanging her head low and watching Nero's reactions over the realization, clearly worried about him.

If you go back and watch the cutscene, you can see the whole animation of Lady's worry that falls over her face.

She's even the one who calls out after Nero once he jumps out of the van while Trish watches after him.

While the duo aren't that present in the story, they have atleast abit of parallel significance to V (with the convo Trish has with him amongst other things, revealed in VoV) and Nero (with finding about Vergil being his Father and having VERY mixed feelings over it).

Its a very interesting thing, since they've had their own moments with Dante back in their original games respectively. Now they have abit to share towards the other playable protags of the trio, V and Nero.

So while they're mostly there...uh...getting wiped by Urizen and becoming demon batteries in 5, atleast they have abit of their own contributions. I wish they had abit more, and they hopefully will should DMC continue onward (which I believe it will).

[kingmaxstatic]

In Defense Of Lanolin, A Post About Perspective, Flaws and Development. (Part 1: The Incidents)

Hey there everyone! It's time for another ✨Max Opinion Moment✨. Out of all of the IDW characters I think Lanolin is the character I've seen get the most hate. I'm not just talking about "I dislike this character" I'm talking I've seen posts where people act like Lanolin killed their family sort of hate.

Today I plan on defending Lanolin as a character! Talking about the main panels that caused this hatred and why I think she's... actually justified in her actions!

DISCLAIMER! This post is not meant to say "You can't DISLIKE Lanolin!". You're allowed to have your opinions of the character!

with all of that out of the way, let's talk sheep! Buckle up! Because this is a long one! (So long I might have to make a part 2)

Case #1: The Paddle Ball Incident

One of the earliest examples (comic timeline wise) was this set of panels! I've seen people actually seethe over these panels. Now I want to explain why I, personally, understand why she's taken the paddle away from her!

Lanolin is talking about important stuff here! Tangle is ACTIVELY interrupting the conversation by playing with the paddle ball in her face. Also, as an autistic person, I personally know how distracting those noises can be!

People also seem to forget that Lanolin, a few pages earlier, looks EXHAUSTED. That is not the face of a sheep that's well rested. Of course she's going to be irritable!

You'd be a bit of a bitch too if you were trying to talk about important stuff and someone was cutting off the conversation by fiddling with something really loud in your face! It's like if you were trying to present a school project you worked all night on and someone started playing a really loud video next to you.

Does this make Tangle a bad person? Of course not! She's energetic and gets bored easily (trust me girl, I get it.) but Lanolin isn't bad for being upset.

Case 2: The Duo Incident

THIS is the main reason a lot of people hate Lanolin as a character. Though in the timeline it's the second panel people will point to as justification for wanting this fictional sheep dead. This is the part of the post where I talk a LOT about perspective and justification.

Get ready for a LOTTTT of panel posting to add context.

SO Let's discuss the main perspective we see, Silver and Whisper's

Silver and Whisper know something is up with Duo, hell Whisper hits the nail right on the head when she instantly assumes Duo to be Mimic! This all happens after Mimic sneakily kicks Silver and Whisper notices.

Another event this happens is when Mimic basically leaves Silver for dead and what does he say after Lanolin asks him where silver is?

"I'm sorry I couldn't save him... the teeth... so big."

From LANOLIN'S PERSPECTIVE, Duo is the new guy, inexperienced and doesn't know how to deal with badniks and this one was HUGE. So from HER pov Duo did his best to save Silver and just simply couldn't. Of course she doesn't know that Duo is Mimic.

So what do Whisper and Silver do after they assume there's a traitor amongst them?

"We're Going Hunting."

Silver and Whisper don't first contact Lanolin or the others, they jump INSTANTLY to murder. The next panel we sees Silver and Whisper in in this arc is them camping in a bush, ready to shoot this Mimic.

Once again, I need to emphasize, they DID NOT discuss this with Tangle or Lanolin. They jumped to murder. This is a rash choice on both of their ends.

I also want to point out that Lanolin acted a lil playful and friendly... before she saw Whisper coming out of the bushes with her wispon.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what Whisper is implying here. She wants to kill someone. Justified? Yes, Mimic is a horrible person who seems to only know one word, betray. But from Lanolin's perspective Duo is a newbie who's only crime was being inexperienced. She does not know Duo is Mimic.

She even asks "The Shape-Shifter? That's a big accusation. Do you have any proof?" She isn't saying "Whisper, this guy clearly isn't mimic." She's saying "If you have proof he's mimic, show it instead of shooting this person I assume is innocent.".

and Whisper responds "We will soon."

Whisper then walks forward and proceeds to grab Lanolin's arm and move it, if you have a keen eye, you'll notice it was the arm Lanolin was using to protect Duo.

A teammate is walking towards your other seemingly innocent teammate, accusing them of being someone from their past. They're carrying a loaded weapon and move you out of the way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what would happen next. Someone is going to get shot, someone is going to get killed.

So what do you do?

You knock the person down.

What Lanolin does here is knock Whisper over before she does anything and attempts to reason why her. Before whisper then KICKS her legs, trying to knock her over. Thus starts a fight. I'm not gonna post the full panel because we already got the idea.

But afterwards Jewel asks "Hey let me get this straight, you tried to attack this dude based on an assumption"

And Silver is like "Yeah shit guess I was"

THEN Lanolin steps in like "Hey until you can like. think before you act you should stay away from us, kay?"

OKAY SO, TO EMPHASIZE THIS A THIRD TIME. Silver and Whisper decided to try and kill this guy before discussing with their team. Silver is a powerhouse and a well known powerhouse at that. "Yadda Yadda great power, great responsibility." and all that.

People act like Lanolin is banning Silver from ever being in the diamond cutters ever. But she's saying "FOR NOW you can't be one of us.". Until is a word that changes a LOT here. She's also saying "That's my vote." implying she wants the others' input.

Hell this is even more emphasized when Jewel says Tangle has a say in this! Lanolin is saying "Hey, I think Silver shouldn't be around until he grows more, what do you guys think?".

I do think Lanolin has flaws here, she should've tried to give whisper a bit more benefit of the doubt here, but Whisper shouldn't of ALSO jumped to murder. They're BOTH in the wrong here.

PHEW THAT WAS A LONG ONE.

Case #3: The X-Treme Gear Incident

This is the latest Lanolin panel that I've seen spark debate about her! Let's talk about the Diamond Cutters' roles in this arc!

They're referees! They're even called "The Restoration Refs" in issue 70! Basically, people who oversee the race to make sure everyone is playing fair and safe.

She's not doing this because she hates Sonic (okay maybe she has beef with Sonic), Amy and Tails. She's doing this because it was an active threat to everybody else and themselves!

Hell I want to point out that in the first panel of this case, she's pointing at Sonic. Who she has witnessed first hand clearly having a disregard to the rules and safety.

This then proceeded to almost get one of her teammates hurt.

So Lanolin calling Sonic a "Hazard" Isn't too far off. Do I think Lanolin is being harsh here? Yeah. Hell even the comic points out she's being harsh after the first panel of this case.

People act like she swiveled around to Tails and went "You suck as an inventor" and spit on him. She's calling the gear "faulty" and "hazards". Shes literally doing her job. I need to emphasize this. Is she being rude? Yes. But she's blunt and it's apart of her character. Tangle is gonna be naive, Whisper's gonna be distant, Lanolin is gonna be blunt.

Bonus Case: The Shattered Glass Incident.

Okay so this isn't one that I've seen people hate on Lanolin for but I... have seen the Anti-Lanolin squad be weird over this panel. Being all like "HA!! Not as perfect as she thought!" and "She's finally facing the consequences of her actions!!"

What actions?

Ah yes! Stopping Sonic from endangering more racers!

Lanolin broke the glass, yes. She acted quickly, yes. This wasn't her scheming and being like "Heehee!! Time to put all these people in danger for some reason!!"

Let's call it what it is.

A Mistake.

Something people are allowed to make, something Lanolin is allowed to make. This isn't some sort of "her getting what's coming to her" it's her realizing she fucked up. Let her make mistakes and let them BE mistakes!

But yeah, if you've read this all the way through, thank you! I had a lot of fun making this (despite how exhausted I am of the lanolin hate train). Hopefully I'll actually make that part 2! Because that would be more so me talking about Lanolin's flaws, her role, and her backstory! Things I like to discuss (I do not like being a hater).

[fatedroses]

Sometimes a light party is a machinist loporrit, a rogue moogle chef, an ex-assassin healer, and the former prince of Garlemald.

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: None (Yet) in chapters to come there will be smut (and lots of it) and possible violence/blood/gore

Chapter Word Count: 1566

—-MDNI—-

A/N: My first Supernatural fic so I hope it doesn’t suck ass. Only proof read by myself, so pls let me know of any errors so I can correct! Also I know at this point in the series Dean is more serious, however I love pre-Hell Dean so imma bring some of those vibes in here. This is also posted on my AO3.

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Please Read the below first:

Prologue

Chapter 1

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 2

The journey to the bunker was pretty uneventful, with Sam and Charlie chatting amongst themselves in the front of the car whilst both myself and Dean sat miserably next to each other in the back like a couple of criminals who’d been arrested. The chains on my handcuffs jangled as I rubbed my sore knuckles; the skin raw, bruised and red from either my own blood or - most likely - Deans. As I did, I could feel a red hot glare burning into the side of my face from the older Winchester, as though he was in disbelief that I even had the audacity to feel any pain or discomfort right now as dark red scabs formed on his nose and cheek. We pulled up next to the bunker, and I didn’t get much chance to look at the surrounding scenery as the moment we were parked, the golden retriever duo up front hopped out, slammed their doors shut and threw ours open, Sam gently yet firmly grasping my elbow and pulling me to my feet whilst Charlie did the same for Dean. We were marched into the building and we soon arrived in what I assumed to be the kitchen. Sam pushed gently on my shoulder, urging me to take a seat at the table to which I obliged with Dean following suit and taking a seat opposite me. We stared each other down from across the table for a few moments, the atmosphere growing thicker by the second as his brilliant green eyes pierced mine.

“Enough the pair of you!” Charlie exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “Look, I’ve got some things to say before we release you both back into the wild. It won’t take long,” she sighed and rubbed her temples. “I wanted to introduce you guys to (Y/n) because I thought you would get along! With your shared interest in hunting, bootcut jeans, rock music and most importantly - pie.”

Dean and I shot each other a quick glance before looking away again. Charlie continued.

“You’ve had one disagreement, and even though I was impressed by the performance it definitely didn’t warrant the carnage. You’re both adults, so act like it and stop bickering like children. You’re going to be living and working together now so you’re both just going to have to suck it up and move on.”

Sam stepped forward; “I agree with Charlie. (Y/n) you have no idea how much of a help you being here is going to be. We’ve been going around in circles for months and we really need a fresh pair of eyes. Plus you get free food and board, if that helps,” he grinned slightly trying to lighten the mood. I humoured him and softened my eyes, raising my eyebrows in acknowledgment to the pros of staying here.

“Right,” he clapped his hands together, “we’re going to remove the tape and you’re both going to be civilised. You promise?”

I gave Dean one final long, hard stare before nodding.

”Good,” Sams soft cool fingers grazed my cheek as he pulled up the corner of the tape, gently peeling it back until it was removed and I could finally take a deep breath. Meanwhile, Charlie approached Dean and in one swift movement ripped the tape from his mouth in under a second.

“FUCK!” He cried out as he tenderly touched his now extra sore swollen lips. I couldn’t help but smirk.

“Right, I’m going to go and get (Y/n)s belongings from the motel room she’s staying in and check her out then I’ll be right back with all her stuff. I’ll see you guys later!” And before I could even protest for her to take me with her, she’d turned on her heel and hightailed it out of the bunker, leaving Sam to undo our cuffs and set us free.

“That bitch,” I sighed, huffing a strand of hair out of my face. Sam knelt before me, that kind look in his eye ever twinkling.

“(Y/n) I promise you that you're safe here. It’s warded to the teeth and full of everything we need to survive. We’ve got you,” he patted my knee before taking my hands in his, using a small key to finally undo the cuffs right before they clattered to the floor. I leant down to pick them up, and by the time I’d sat back up to place them on the kitchen table, he was already beside Dean doing the same for him. His own cuffs removed and rubbing his wrists, he stood, looking from me to Sam a few times before speaking.

“Well I’ve already suffered enough today so I’m going to spend time coming up with a better excuse as to why I look like this,” he gestured to his beaten face and turned to leave, mumbling a quick ‘see ya later’ to Sam before leaving the kitchen. Sam stood awkwardly for a second, before declaring that he was going to get some lunch for everyone and also scurried away, leaving me completely alone in alien territory. I was still sat at the table as I began to look around.

This place was a dump.

How did these grown ass men live in conditions like this? The dirty dishes were piled so high that it was a surprise they hadn’t toppled over yet. Empty beer bottles cluttered the table and countertops, the bin was overflowing with bulging bin bags dumped right next to it without being taken outside and the smell was starting to make me feel a little nauseous. How does Sam expect us all to eat and live together in conditions like this? It was like living with a couple of wild animals. After a few silent moments to myself I released a breath I’d been holding whilst I pondered. I ran my hands through my hair and laughed at myself in disbelief. I’m gonna have to clean the fucking kitchen. Without giving it a second thought and running the risk that I’d change my mind, I scooped my hair into a high ponytail using the bobble on my wrist and pushed up my sleeves, finding a pair of rubber gloves under the sink. Let’s clean this bitch.

*

In the space of about an hour and a half (a gruelling hour and a half), I’d washed and dried the dishes, putting them away in their respective places, taken out all the trash and lined the bin with a fresh bag, scrubbed and disinfected every surface and had even mopped the floors. The smell of rotting trash was dissipating and the urge to claw off my own skin had gone. I’d propped the mop against the wall and stepped back to admire my hard labour when I heard a door open and close, the entering footsteps heading my way. Sam emerged into the kitchen, a stunned look on his face as he walked to the table slowly, placing about 6 bags of ‘groceries’ on its surface. His mouth opened and closed a few times like he was searching for the right things to say.

“You’re welcome,” I cut in, hoping to help him find his words.

“Yeah, thank you! I’m sorry, I didn't know what to say - you really didn’t have to do this. It’s embarrassing that you were even put in a situation where you felt you had to,” he grimaced a little, only now realising what a horror show it was that they were living in. “But seriously thank you, I really appreciate it,” he smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. Sam was sweet and easy to like - unlike his Neanderthal brother. I felt like I could trust him.

I peeled my gloves off, threw them in the bin and approached the kitchen table where Sam was pulling out a case of beer.

“Here, you deserve one of these,” he said, handing me one. The bottle was nice and cool on my hot fingertips, my warm skin instantly relishing the coldness.

“Thank you,” I smiled before popping the cap and taking a long, well deserved drink. I savoured the moment, genuinely appreciating Sam’s gesture. Although all nice moments comes to an end, and soon Dean was striding into the room bold as brass, seating himself at the table and helping himself to a beer without so much as a hello. It wasn’t until he’d drained half the bottle in one gulp that he realised the kitchen was clean. He grinned and looked at his brother.

“Hey, nice job Sammy! It looks great in here, I owe you one,” he raised his bottle as if making a small toast whilst Sam’s eyes flicked to mine.

“Uh, Dean… this wasn’t me. You need to thank (Y/n) for that,” Deans grin faulted slightly as he looked between the two of us before it returned. I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows in suspicion. His forest green eyes pierced into mine as he almost purred his next sentence.

“Well, Sammy, it looks like we’ve bagged ourselves a maid. Does she cook too?”

I slammed my bottle on the table, much like I did earlier. Only Sam flinched.

“I’m not your fucking maid,” I snarled, resenting that shit-eating grin on the older Winchesters lips. He chuckled, the sound coming deep from within his chest as he rose to his feet.

“Sure thing sweetheart.”

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Taglist: @creative-writing92 @suckitands33

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Up Next:

Chapter 3

[shininas-ideals]

hi there!! i just wanted to ask what makes ppl in the fandom ship kunichuu?? im new to the fandom and fairly curious lol

Hi hi!

I'm fairly new to the fandom myself as I only watched the anime last year! but to answer the ask, idk I guess something in me just clicked

The idea of Kunikida and Chuuya interacting came to my head in that helicopter scene, where the PM saved the ADA from the Hunting Dogs (you can imagine my disappointment when they didn't so much as aknowledge their existence). When I saw them in the same space together I thought "huh, would you look at that, the two partners Dazai has had... I bet they got a lot of venting they can get over with a good drink"

Continue under the cut!

I've already made a post with my main points for how their dynamic would work, but just to expand on that (and bc I love talking about them):

• Like I said, they can have a funny lil moment to breathe and just complain about the living hell that is dealing with Osamu daily

• As an aftermath of their characters being created to bounce off of Dazai's antics, they have quite a bit of similarities between them that they can both help enhance mutually; like being hardheaded, both being excepcional physical fighters, both wearing their heart on a sleeve, both being destined to be the next big honcho of their respective organizations, both doing things that would be considered contradictory to their line of work, and many little details more

• I've also begun to think of many, many alternative scenarios where these two can make for an interesting plot, mostly, like I said, a post canon/future part where they've both inherited they positions as boss of the PM and president of the ADA respectively, making for many meetings that develop into a sorta kinship on their moral code as leaders of two important groups: as Chuuya, being a high rank of a criminal organization, doesn't actively enjoy killing and sees his men as the living humans that they are; and Kunikida isn't opposed at all to bend the country's rules and do some shady stuff if it's for the greater good of the people

So it's mostly just potential and parallels between their two stores that keep me wishing for at least a conversation that lets them see a bit further from the surface of their personalities and the rolls they play in the BSD world

Or it's just that I love Kunikida and I don't see the appeal in romantic Soukoku lol

Plus they have the potential to make a compelling duo that gets Dazai absolutely jealous and makes him lose his shit, cuz sure, he can take them one on one, but with both of them partnered up against him? Yeah, no shot

And can you imagine a fight scene between them? No Arahabaki, no abilities, just pure hands, mano a mano

[flamingpudding]

DPxDC Family Week June 19 (Day 2)

Prompt: Siblings | Play

A/N: All I gotta say is this was heavily inspired by Wayne Family Adventures. I think I focused more no the Play prompt than Siblings, either way please enjoy my Day 2 contribution :D

AO3 Link: DPxDC Family Week Contributions

Danny was in a tricky situation. He carefully checked his surroundings as he crouched behind a bookshelves to reload. The Meta Alliance was off the table. Duke got taken out by Dick. He had seen Damian hunting down Tim earlier, muttering something about using the same trick again despite his warning. Jason was still wandering the halls in search of him loudly offering Danny a new Alliance promising that he wouldn't be shot on sight. He had lost sight of Cass earlier but he knew Steph was hiding on the second floor waiting for Jason to take revenge.

When Dick had come to him and Jazz earlier that day Danny did not expect for the oldest Wayne to hand them each a paintball gun with a wide grin. Only for them to suggest taking part in a game they played every year called Assassin. It was apparently a secret from Bruce that only the children of Bruce Wayne aka Batman took part in.

He had been suspicious of it at first, Jazz and him had only joined the Family for a couple of months now and Dick had suggested they join the game as a bonding experience between siblings with the rest of the family. When Danny didn't let up on his suspicious staring he also offered that it was a way to train and test Danny's stealth against his new siblings.

Only partly convinced, at least in Danny's case, they had joined. The moment they entered the sitting room everyone else was in, Harper, last year's winner according to the others, decided to start with a special alliance to ease Jazz into the game. Only for her to get accidentally taken out. She had made the mistake of forming the alliance with all the girls including Jazz, without prior information that till then only Danny had been privileged to with how often his own sister had souped him. To Harper's credit, she didn't know about the bad aim his sister inherited from their dad. The girl alliance got pretty quickly dissolved then and the Fanton siblings formed a new one, since Danny knew best how bad of a shot Jazz was.

Though Danny additionally had the one with Duke until he got taken out. They honestly had thought that with their Meta-powers they could overwhelm the others. Hell they were a power duo on patrols, this should have been easy. That was until Dick got Duke and Duke in all the dramatic sibling fashion 'died' in a distracting way that made Dick and Danny laugh only for the Ghost to then escape.

"AH FUCK!" Looks like Jason got taken out now too from the sounds of it. Danny didn't stay to find out who took the revenant out. He went invisible and phased through the wall behind him and floated up a floor through it. Carefully to avoid Bruce as well as Alfred so that the two adults shouldn't grow suspicious. Suddenly there was rusting behind him and Danny turned around quickly. He was still invisible so aside from Duke no one should be able to see him right now.

"I know you're here Danny. Show yourself."

"You're wearing your mask with heat-vision?" The question came out before he could help himself as he stared at Tim. Both his hands raised as he held them up, showing that he meant no harm, his paintball gun in his right hand pointing at the ceiling for extra measures while Tim was grinning at him with his gun pointed at Danny.

"Your body temperature is lower than the average human one, especially when you use your powers. It's the easiest way to find you since it was decided that both you and Duke were allowed to use them."

"I see." Danny nodded along. "I take it, you want to take me out right now?"

"If you don't agree to my proposal. Help me take out Damian and Cass."

Danny hummed thinking about it for a second before he noticed movement from the corner of the hall. He grinned, shrugging with his shoulders. "I would but… sorry maybe next time!"

He let himself fall through the floor as Tim cried out, blue splotches on his back appearing. Danny barely missed getting shot too as he fell onto the first floor. An orange splatter left on the wall at the height his chest had been mere seconds ago. Cass standing at the end of the hall as they made one final eye contact before he completely disappeared from sight through the floor.

But he did not get a second of rest as he fell into one of the down stairs sitting rooms. The moment he was through the ceiling and made eye contact with a stunned but then grinning assailant. He flipped to the side barely dodging the colorful rounds shot at him and aimed his own gun. Ten shots, nine missing but the last one finally got his target's leg.

"Gotcha!" He cheered as he floated down grinning brightly at Dick.

"Not bad baby ghost. I didn't expect you and Jazz to be this good. Sure you guys didn't have formal training?" Inspecting his leg the elder smiled, happy at seeing Danny enjoying himself this freely. He still remembered the first month in which Danny barely spoke to anyone aside from his sister. Dick had been a bit worried when he asked the Fanton kids to join their game but he was glad that he did now. The Fantons had come a long way and it appeared that they finally saw the rest of the Waynes as siblings too.

"No, everything is self thought. Though, Jazz hitting Harper was totally an accident considering she had been aiming at-" Their phones buzzed and both each took their own out. Dick whistled. "Baby bird took out Steph. So now it's only you, Jazz, Dami and Cass left. Looks like this year's game will even be over before patrol starts."

"Did it take longer last year?"

Dick nodded. "It went right into patrol time. But maybe it's getting over faster this year because everyone is at the Manor." He didn't mention that he had specifically asked the others to not draw out the game too long. Despite the couple of months, Danny and Jazz were still new to Gotham and the family and they both didn't need distractions during patrol and support.

"Speaking of being at the Manor. Why hasn't Alfred said anything about the paint splatters yet? He is omnipresent, I thought he would be the first to notice." The halfa tilted his head in light confusion. Really with the way Alfred always knew what was going on in the Manor Danny had long since expected for the butler to gather them all to give them a stern talking about playing with paintball guns inside the building.

"It's fine as long as we clean up after ourselves." He raised an eyebrow and Dick rubbed his neck nervously. "And as long as we don't go overboard and damage anything permanently. Besides, sometimes Alfred even ends up joining in on these games to teach us a lesson or to get back at us for all the grief we gave him with injuries in the past."

Danny raised a suspicious eyebrow. "He… won't just do that this time, will he?"

"Nope, but we should clean up here before Bruce comes back. It also helps that most of us only shoot when we are sure that we will hit the others and not something else." Danny nodded, muttering an embarrassed 'sorry' remembering how he let more than one shot lose at his targets. Dick only chuckled, patting his head and offering a cloth piece to wipe the paint from the wall.

Once it was clean Danny gave a grinning Dick a little finger salute before going invisible again and leaving the room. There were only four players left. He wouldn't be able to find Cass but he could try and take out Daimien. Choosing to be as silent as possible Danny used his ghost powers to also float. He turned off his ghostly powers as he came across Bruce and Tim by the stairs. The man was asking Tim about the paint on his neck that he must have splattered there when Cass had taken him out earlier.

"Damian and I got into a disagreement when I passed his atelier earlier. He threw one of his paint brushes at me like a dart."

"Damian wouldn't just do that because of a simple disagreement. What sort of argument did you two get into this time, for it to art out like this?"

Danny frowned slightly. The others never had mentioned what would happen if Bruce found out. He hid his gun on his back under his hoodie.

"Hi Bruce, I think someone must have pissed him off at school. He threw one at me too, when I asked him what got him into a sour mood." Danny decided to add to the lie. Really the youngest stabbiness was a really nice trait that made these lies even more believable. Tim gave him a thumbs up for the support hidden from Bruce's eyes.

"Hello Danny. Maybe I should have a talk with Damian. I cannot have him bring another knife to school again." The man muttered with a sigh as he walked away from them. Tim and Danny grinned at each other before once again Danny saluted before making his way back to the second floor. He had a feeling that he would find Damian or Cass up there.

Hearing voices by the end of the hall where Damian's Atelier was, Danny decided to try and be sneaky. The door was only a gap wide open, he peaked into the room. It hadn't been long since he had meet Bruce with Tim by the stairs but apparently the man was quick with his actions. In the room were said man and the youngest Wayne, Bruce was apparently trying to get Damian to tell him why he was in a sour mood and hurl his paint brushes at his siblings.

Danny snickered, the man's back was to the door and he grinned the moment Damian noticed him peaking in by the door. He gave the youngest a little bit of a mocking wave with the addition of a wide grin as Damian scowled. Bruce apparently took it that Damian did not like the reinforced rule of no knives at school.

Still grinning the ghost boy pulled his gun from the back and aimed it through the door carefully so that Bruce wouldn't notice him. Damian was now flat out glaring deadly at him, daring him to do it in the presence of his father. Waiting for the right time Danny watched Bruce and when the man appeared to look at something at his side he fired a shot. Hitting the youngest square in the chest who quickly despite his deadly glare turned towards one of his unfinished pieces and grabbed some of his art supplies to explain that color splatter as a lapse of his own judgment and frustration of the topic they were discussing.

Danny definitely knew he would be paying for this action later. Damian wasn't as stabby with him like he was with others thanks to Danny's ghostly powers, but that only meant that the youngest was creative in other ways to get back at the halfa. Though right now it only mattered to Danny that he was able to get two of the bat-kids out of the game with no formal training. That grin was whiped of his face when he felt a short sting on his back and his head whipped around to see Cass behind him smiling brightly.

"Lacking situational awareness."

"Okay yea, that was my bad." Letting out a sight he admitted defeat as he in a bout of dramatic essence chose to lay flat on the ground only lifting his head a little to face an amused Cass. Taking out his phone he proceeded to text the group that he had taken out Damian but in return got taken out by Cass. Looks like Cass would be the winner this year, he commented into the chat.

"Finally found you Danny!" Looking up stunned as well as hearing shuffling towards the door from the Atelier Danny looked up to see Jazz standing by the end of the hall now her paintball gun aimed at Danny as Cass dived to the side away from him. Right, his sister was still in the game!

"Let me handle this!"

"Wait Jazz!"

Too late his sister fired multiple shots and in a feat the half ghost honestly thought impossible, the projectiles ricochet off of decorations, leaving small splatters of paint behind them everywhere. The door next to him opened and Danny stared wide eyes up at Bruce and Damian.

"What is going on-"

-splat-

At the end of the day Cass was declared the winner while Jazz was declared the honorary winner by being the first one to ever hit Bruce Wayne aka Batman square in the face with a paintball gun.

Though the siblings all got a stern talking to from the man for playing Assassin inside the Manor as well as Alfreds disappointed look™ that was followed by an amused smile whenever the butler side eyed Bruce. The smiles and looks all the siblings exchanged promised that next year's game would be filled with revenge plans. Maybe till then Jazz's aim would become better with the shooting classes Bruce decided to sign her up for with a knowing smile.

[belle--ofthebrawl]

I wish you would write a fic about just how much of a crush Aurora has on Mountain (bc I cannot stop thinking about the harvest blessing fic)

I don't know if this is what you wanted but it's what I wrote and we all have to deal with that now. (Bonus just for you: weird ghoul lore)

Aurora was born of gluttony. All tongue and teeth and wailing starvation, no matter how much she stuffed into her small body it was never enough. She remembers the clawing ache of hunger in her stomach more than anything else of her time in the pit. Her fellow hunters learned to leave when she was in the area very quickly; lest they be considered prey as well.

Aeon was the exception to this. He tried to steal her food, a downed behemoth who's killer she had killed and eaten in turn, stomach still hollow with the desire to feed. She’d been near mindless when she fought him and feeling the poke of his cock on her belly awakened her to an entirely new form of hunger.

This one at least, was easier to satiate.

“You're quintessence, like me.” He'd panted in the afterglow. “You're not going to survive on what everyone else does.”

She kissed him, and tasted his emotions on a tongue she felt no desire to chew on. When he slid his fingers inside her, curves them just right, she finally felt full when she whispered her name and he whispered it back in reverent awe.

Two mouths were surprisingly easier to feed than just her own, she was pleased to discover. And though a duo-pack was hardly a respectable number, she grew fiercely protective of Aeon, forever grateful for the way he took care of her appetite no matter how it reared its ugly head.

And walking through the portal with him, hand in hand to their new lives, was the closest thing to a blessing she would ever receive. This body could eat and be filled for much longer than her old one.

This was how she fell in love with Mountain. After an eternity of fending for herself, for Aeon when his head ached too much to hunt, there came this giant of a ghoul that radiated nothing but acceptance. His first action was to give her a soft blanket and lead her to a table where she sat down and was served food she couldn't have even dreamed of before. Bread that was soft with a crackling crust, a hearty golden soup he showed her to dip it in. Meat falling off the bone, she never thought cooked meat would taste better than raw. And he let her snap the bone to scrape out the marrow, even offering her a strange and soft paste to mix it in. He called it butter. He filled what was empty, asked her how she felt and when she fell asleep at the table after gorging herself, he had picked her up and carried her to a wide, square nest space and tucked her in. She fed on the kindness of the action unconsciously and woke with the knowledge he would provide for their odd little pack.

Love as a romantic act was unfamiliar to her. She loved Aeon, but it was a different feeling from what she felt towards Mountain. Aeon was practical and familiar; she knew him like the back of her hand. She wanted to prove herself to the large earth ghoul, prove that should he ever be incapacitated, she could care for him as well as he cared for everyone else.

Hunting on earth was different. She wasn't used to small prey. But she was a quick learner and soon presented the earth ghoul with a clutch of dead creatures with long ears and soft fur, plump and well fed on the lush vegetation of the surface, to see what he could do with them.

And he taught her how to cook. He let her have the second fattest “rabbit” for herself, to snack on as he readied his knives and pans and bottles. She learns about brining, and seasoning and cooking meat slowly so it was juicy and flavorful. Hell was so hot that corpses burned up quickly, devoid of the magic intrinsic to surviving the flames, so all meals had to be as quick as possible. This “slow-cooking” is maddening, but he opens a cupboard, unwraps something and gives her a large rectangle of foodstuff the color of rich, fertile earth. It smells bitter with an underlying sweetness and she nibbles the corner of it, savoring the way it melts and spreads over her taste buds. When she eats it, there are little crunchy bones mixed in and he laughs when she tells him this.

“Almonds.” He corrects. “Dark chocolate with almond toffee.”

Her purr when he ruffles her hair startles them both. 

“Like hearing that.” He says. “Better sound than your stomach rumbling, huh?”

She decides she's going to give him a thousand chocolate bars in return if he keeps looking at her like that, with an emotion so fulfilling it keeps her satisfied for three days straight. Even when the rabbit stew is done, she doesn't take a huge portion for herself like she usually does. She lets others eat as much as she wants, pride welling up when Mountain tells them she caught the rabbits and they congratulate her with with wide smiles and warm eyes. 

She kisses him after the clean up. With a full belly and full heart, she's still got a third appetite to calm. He understands without words. Takes her to his bedroom where he put her through an agonizingly slow warm up. Prepares her until she's tender and dripping, tests her with his fingers and fits himself in; they feast on each other until the sun sets through one window and rises again in the other.

She still bites him though. Sometimes she still doesn't understand which hunger drives her, but he's willing to help her navigate it. Sometimes this emotion is so much she feels it fill her stomach up completely, crawl up her throat and she waits to choke on it but she never does. And with his help too, she learns to say the words that help it stop hurting her in such a strange and wondrous way.

I love you.