#the hunters aren't as cool as i remembered them

[t-lostinworlds]

okay, why is everyone being a bitch to percy in titan's curse. it's low-key pissing me off

[thankskenpenders]

The Knuckles show

The announcement of a live action Knuckles streaming miniseries was surprising, to say the least. I mean, what would such a show even be about in a version of the Sonic universe with no Angel Island and barely any characters from the games around? Is he gonna go treasure hunting with the gang from Montana or something? Would a streaming miniseries have the CGI budget to squeeze in any new game characters, even briefly? Rouge? Amy? At least one member of Team Chaotix? Anyone?

Now the show is finally out, and it turns out what they actually made was a comedy show about bumbling deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, the minor comic relief character played by Adam Pally who you might not even remember all that well from the first two movies, with Knuckles as his sidekick. While, yes, Knuckles does get a decent amount of screentime and opportunities to punch bad guys and do cool moves from the games, large stretches of this show focus on Wade's personal life, to the point that a couple times I almost forgot I was watching a Sonic-related show. If you're judging it purely by the metric of how well it adapts and engages with its source material, this surely must be one of the worst adaptations the Sonic franchise has ever seen.

So then, despite some huge complaints... why do I kinda like it?

(This will contain full spoilers for the Knuckles show.)

A brief summary of what the show is actually about because I know half of you aren't going to watch it

The show picks up not too long after the end of the second movie. Knuckles is now living in Montana with Sonic, Tails, and the Wachowskis out of a sense of debt to them, though he doesn't really see it as his home. He doesn't feel like he belongs on Earth, and his life currently lacks direction. After communing with the ghost of Pachacamac, though, Knuckles is instructed to keep his culture alive by teaching "the ways of the echidna warrior" to a new apprentice: deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, who's currently more concerned about winning a bowling tournament in Reno than anything else.

Things are complicated by the interference of two rogue GUN agents - Agent Willoughby, played by Ellie Taylor in a bad wig, and Agent Mason, played by Kid Cudi. (Yes, the artist behind the second movie's credits song is one of the bad guys in this.) They want to steal Knuckles' power and sell it to a former associate of Robotnik's played by Rory McCann (The Hound from Game of Thrones), who now works as a black market arms dealer. Yes, they're still doing the thing where Sonic and friends' quills radiate some kind of super-energy that the bad guys all want. No, I don't particularly love this element of the Paramount Sonic continuity. Anyway, they go after Knuckles and Wade, complicating their straightforward road trip to Reno. Antics ensue.

The Wade show

So here's the thing. While the first episode focuses largely on Knuckles, the entire rest of the show is very much the story of Wade, and by extension the other original human characters invented for this miniseries.

Episode 2 is about Wade having to rescue Knuckles from captivity after the GUN agents get him. Knuckles spends most of the episode in a cage.

Episode 3 is about introducing Wade's Jewish family, including his slightly overbearing mother and weird sister, so that Knuckles can learn about their family traditions and have Shabbat dinner with them (and then save them from bounty hunters that the GUN agents hired).

Episode 4 only features Knuckles at the very beginning and very end of the episode, probably for less than a minute total. Wade is captured by a bounty hunter he personally knows, and Knuckles decides to let that be a trial for Wade to overcome on his own.

The last two episodes feature the climactic showdowns with the GUN agents and their arms-dealing ally, who comes in with a mech for the obligatory final boss fight. You'd think this would be Knuckles' time to shine, but really, these episodes are mostly about the bowling tournament in Reno where Wade encounters his estranged father, wrapping up his own personal arc. While Knuckles does get some fights, a lot of the finale is spent on lengthy bowling scenes where Knuckles isn't in the room or even mentioned. It frequently feels more like a spiritual successor to '00s sports comedy movies like Dodgeball, Talladega Nights, or Blades of Glory than it does a part of the Sonic franchise, and the presence of ESPN 8: The Ocho commentary in the finale only drives those Dodgeball comparisons home. They get so immersed in the bowling stuff that it's genuinely hilarious when the show suddenly pivots and remembers "oh shit we still need to do the final boss fight"

Throughout all this, Wade is the protagonist. He's the character we spend more time with, he's the character who drives most of the major events, he's the character who gets more of an arc. The emotional core is Wade's journey. Knuckles is still present - sometimes, at least - but he's there as Wade's wingman, and also just as the excuse for there to be some fight scenes.

How much Sonic stuff is actually in this show?

Honestly? Not much.

Sonic and Tails are only in the first episode. Sonic gets some good scenes, but Tails gets a grand total of five lines. I counted. Unsurprisingly, Jim Carrey is absent as Robotnik, though he does get mentioned a fair bit. (For that matter, basically the entire established human cast beyond Wade is absent, even including Tom, though Maddie is there in episode one.)

GUN is involved in the story, which helps it feel slightly more connected to Sonic, but it kind of feels like it's GUN in name only. They don't use any recognizable GUN tech, and they don't call in the military. It's just two agents in suits. They might as well be the Men in Black.

The Master Emerald is mentioned as something Knuckles has to guard, but it's never seen. Angel Island is pictured as a drawing during the show's intro, appearing exactly how it does in Sonic 3, but it's never referenced at all beyond that.

I guess the climax taking place in and around a Reno casino is a reference to Sonic's many casino-themed levels. That's something. I'll give them that.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this is the point where we finally start to get actual music from the games: no, it's not. The soundtrack consists of a lot of '80s needle drops, many of which are generic Hollywood picks like "Holding Out for a Hero" for the billionth time, thought it at least has some slightly less obvious picks than the Mario movie. The theme song is '80s rock song "The Warrior" by Scandal. You'll hear it many times. You'll hear the Adventure era Knuckles raps zero times in this. You'll briefly hear classic A Tribe Called Quest song "Can I Kick It?" before Knuckles takes the question too literally and breaks the radio in Wade's car.

Beyond a handful of surface level references for nerds (one of which is admittedly wild - we'll get to that), this is probably the least an officially licensed adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog has ever tried to actually engage with its source material. I struggle to think of another Sonic adaptation that has less to do with Sonic. For as much shit as I and countless others have given Penders for seemingly ignoring the content of the games in favor of building his own convoluted mythos, his Knuckles comics honestly included way more elements from the games than this show does.

Somehow, the one new(-ish) Sonic character introduced in this is the ghost of Pachacamac of all characters. Not even Tikal! Pachacamac! A very minor character nobody has particularly strong feelings about! You can't even use the excuse that they already had the character model, because they completely redesigned him compared to his cameo in the first movie to better match his Sonic Adventure design. And he's voiced by Christopher Lloyd! Honestly, so many of his lines are strained that it sounds like he's on death's door here, but then he'll surprise you with a more casual line like "just do it, man" and it catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh.

Pachacamac here has basically nothing to do with the game character he takes his name and appearance from. Where the game character was a cruel warlord who kicked off a 3000 year cycle of violence, Paramount Pachacamac is now just this chill old man who gives Knuckles (and later Wade) advice in two episodes of the show. Hell, he also feels completely disconnected from his established role in the movies, where he's literally the guy who shot Longclaw. The show will not grapple with this contradiction at all. He's just here to be a thing fans like me will recognize from the games. Again, if that's all they wanted, it's kind of baffling that they didn't just use Tikal.

I don't love Knuckles in this

But what about Knuckles himself? Well, he doesn't feel all that much like Knuckles to me. Ironically, he sometimes feels like one of the weaker elements in his own show.

Back when the second movie came out, I noted that Knuckles' characterization seemed to be pulling heavily from MCU Thor as a gallant warrior from an archaic alien culture who doesn't really understand modern day Earth stuff. That worked for me in that movie. It was just there for spice. Just a little extra flavor for the character in what was otherwise a very faithful adaptation of Knuckles' storyline in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Without those familiar elements grounding him and with a much higher reliance on comedy, Idris Elba's Knuckles becomes a pretty one-note character in this.

In damn near every scene with Knuckles, he's going to say something about being a proud, honorable echidna warrior, or brag about his glorious feats of strength, or be confused about some Earth thing and call it sorcery, or act like every other character is also a member of some noble warrior clan. He still has his moments for sure, but this schtick kinda gets old fast, and it just doesn't feel like Knuckles to me. His entire character feels derived from the scene in the diner where Thor smashes the cup on the ground and goes "Another!" Sure, I can picture game Knuckles smashing a radio to turn it off and being a little too gung-ho about busting holes through walls. That's Knuckles behavior. But building a barbarian combat pit in the living room so the Wachowski family dog can fight the mailman? Nope. That's some other guy now. It really does just feel like them taking a broad character archetype from something popular that kinda sorta fits Knuckles and just running with that, rather than trying to actually adapt the character.

Oh, but don't worry, he wears the OVA hat for like two minutes! AND he loves grapes! See, Sonic nerds? We read the wiki! That's his favorite food! Grapes! This is gonna come up like five times!

Knuckles kind of gets an arc here, but not as much as Wade does. I think the stuff about him starting to feel at home on Earth thanks to Wade's mom and the way he connects with their Jewish family traditions is oddly sweet. This arc is kind of let down, though, by the fact that Knuckles' heritage is treated as a complete joke. He's a cartoonish pastiche of various historical warrior cultures stuck together in a blender and used mostly for comedic effect. When Pachacamac's ghost appears, he's reading a newspaper and bemoaning the fact that the Mets lost again. This is not the place for a serious examination of Knuckles' feelings on being the last of his kind.

This is far from the only time the show undercuts itself with its jokes and attempts at self-parody. In the first episode, for instance, Knuckles clashes with GUN Agent Mason and his tech-enhanced punches, leading to an extremely on-the-nose inversion of the "Do I look like I need your power?" scene showcased in the trailer for the second movie. Except this time, Agent Willoughby butts in and points out how stupid that line is in this new context, since they're literally trying to steal Knuckles' power. The fight can't just be cool, they have to get cute with it. A lot of stuff like that happens in this show.

Given all these complaints, the first two episodes left me thinking I'd be fairly negative on this show overall. This seemed like the version of the show from the fandom's collective nightmares, one that undoes all of the progress the movie series seemed to have been making towards faithfulness to the games. Like, just look at these cast posters. Is this what you want out of Sonic? Do these excite you?

But then, something strange happened. Over time, I just kind of let the jokes and shenanigans wash over me and basked in how fucking weird this show is.

And I started to actually enjoy it.

Look. The Wade & Knuckles Show was never going to be peak Sonic. But that sure as hell doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

This show is so fucking goofy

Here's the thing.

The show is funny.

Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't hate all the wedding stuff in Hawaii in Sonic 2, because I thought a lot of it was funny, both in its actual jokes and in the ways in which they tied everything back to Sonic. Tom looking wistfully at some bodybuilders doing Top Gun shit and spraying each other with beer and being like "I wish Sonic had that" is weirdly funny. The twist that those muscle bros are all agents of the newly formed GUN, who orchestrated the wedding as an elaborate scheme to catch Sonic, is funny. Mr. Olive Garden becoming the fucking GUN Commander is VERY funny. Are any of these elements of my dream Sonic movie? No, of course not. But my dream Sonic movie was never gonna happen in live action.

The Knuckles show follows up on the comedy of the previous films by being probably the funniest live action Sonic release yet. Did every joke land for me? God no. There are some stinkers in there that made me roll my eyes. But enough of them landed that it worked out for me overall. A big part of this is the fact that they've got a good cast of actors and/or comedians here.

Adam Pally is funny as Wade, and I found myself liking him more and more as a character as the show went on. He becomes an oddly endearing loser, with some sweet moments in his personal arc that made me feel for the guy. I like Wade more than Tom now, thanks to this show. I will now be happier to see Wade in Sonic 3 than I would have been previously.

The supporting cast is frequently great, too, many of whom are playing completely cartoonish, over-the-top characters. They took a cue from how exaggerated Carrey's performance was as Robotnik and decided to just abandon all pretense that this is the real world. Stockard Channing as Wade's mom is funny, and carries some of the more sincere parts of the show. Cary Elwes as Wade's very British dad who abandoned him as a child to run off and be the world's most egotistical professional bowler is funny. Edi Patterson as Wade's sister Wanda is... well, she's kinda trying too hard, but she has her moments. The Mighty Boosh co-creator Julian Barratt(!!) as a scenery-chewing bounty hunter, who was also somehow Wade's former best friend and bowling partner, is VERY funny. I love this guy.

(Honestly, they should let more people who were on Garth Marenghi's Darkplace be in Sonic stuff. Where's Matt Berry)

This is kind of a stacked cast for a bunch of stupid side characters in a live action Knuckles show! And honestly, that just makes it funnier to me. Even when they're not funny, the fact that this exists makes it funny. They somehow convinced Paramount to give them a bunch of money to make a spiritual successor to Dodgeball about a schlubby guy who wants to beat his dad at a bowling tournament... except also Knuckles the fucking Echidna is there as his personal life coach. My life is richer for the fact that I can say that sentence. I think about all the little kids who are probably watching this show this weekend, going in expecting a show about Knuckles the Echidna and having to sit through extensive bowling scenes and lore about Wade's family, and sorry kids, but I just have to laugh. Wade isn't even on the poster! The poster is just a picture of Knuckles!! They punked those kids!!!

In a franchise where every single aspect is so carefully micromanaged these days, it feels truly special to get an adaptation this bonkers. It frequently appeals to the same part of me that enjoys the fact that there's an officially licensed Knuckles comic in which Charmy Bee's best friend (also a bee) dies of an accidental LSD overdose from a drug-laced chili dog. Or like, everything about the original 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Or the fact that they made seven direct-to-DVD sequels to Alpha and Omega, one of which is half a retread of the adventure from the first movie (with more annoying supporting characters in tow this time) and half a literal clip show of the first movie. The sheer absurdity of the fact that these things exist is charming to me. Except, with the Knuckles show, it has the added benefit of frequently being funny on purpose! This is why I'm not sure I'd call it "so bad it's good." Like, it's not amazing, but there were a lot of parts that I enjoyed in the exact way I was supposed to enjoy them.

Look. Here's a list of real lines of dialogue from the Sega-approved Knuckles the Echidna streaming show that they're billing as a pillar of the Paramount+ lineup, to drive this point home. Let these marinate for a minute:

"I only eat grapes, and Cool Ranch Doritos™."

"Annihilate this little girl, Wade. Crush her spirit. Humiliate her so badly her parents won't even look at her again." "Doesn't that seem like we're going a bit far?" "Not far enough."

"So is he Jewish?" "Half, I think."

"I had a friend who when he listened to Alien Ant Farm he could lift a Toyota Corolla over his head."

"I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name."

"We're here in sunny Reno, Nevada, which is so close to Hell you can smell the sparks."

"You can't threaten me with your Jewish karate chops because I am a federal agent."

"I will say, regardless of how you feel about child abandonment - and I'm against it! - the deals at TJ Maxx can't be beat."

This is a Sonic show in which they got Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel to appear as ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators.

This is a show where Wade's mom insists upon pronouncing "Knuckles" with the throaty Hebrew "ch" sound, and declares that Knuckles is basically Jewish. Later, they watch Pretty Woman together while enjoying a nice slice of key lime pie. Knuckles comments: "I don't understand. This young streetwalker with a heart made of gold, why do the others treat her with such disdain? Is it so wrong to walk the streets?"

This is a show where the fourth episode is directed by one of the guys from The Lonely Island and features a hallucinatory low budget rock opera stage musical put on by the ghost of Pachacamac. It recounts Knuckles' life story, with Wade playing Knuckles and the "evil" Longclaw played by the bounty hunter guy who's played by the Mighty Boosh guy.

Look at this.

And also, Knuckles' singing voice is provided by Michael Bolton, which they proudly announce in the middle of the musical.

And also...

Also...???

IBLIS IS IN IT????????????

Yes, Iblis!

From Sonic '06!!

Knuckles is said to have looked for a mythical power called the "Flames of Disaster" to avenge his clan, which ended up being the power that was within him all along that lets him do fire punches yadda yadda yadda. As part of this, he apparently fought Iblis off-screen at some point, as conveyed with the giant singing papier-mâché Iblis in the musical.

...Then Iblis sings about hitting up Facebook Marketplace

How? How does any of this exist? Why reference '06 of all games? How did Iblis get into the live action Sonic movie universe before Amy and Metal Sonic? Why are they using Iblis and the term "Flames of Disaster" in such a goofy way that completely disregards their original context?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this happened. But I love it. We got a Knuckles miniseries in which Michael Bolton sings the phrase "the Flames of Disaster." The world is a beautiful place sometimes.

Some people will tell you to skip episode four. "Knuckles is barely even in it," they say. "It's dumb and pointless," they say. "They clearly just ran out of special effects budget," they say. These are people whose opinions you should disregard. The episode with the least Knuckles in it is somehow the most entertaining episode of the show. I would, in fact, go as far as to say that if you only decide to watch one episode of the Knuckles show to see what goofy bullshit they get up to, it should be this one.

I cannot be mad at this show. It's so dumb, but it completely owns the fact that it's a dumb and unnecessary spinoff. Inferiority is baked into its very DNA. It's very self-consciously redoing the premise of the first movie, but stupider. It's about The Other Cop from the movies, instead of the competent one. Instead of being into a "cooler" sport, his life revolves around professional bowling. Instead of going to Vegas, he goes to Reno. Even his tragic backstory that shaped his entire life sucks. He was abandoned by his pro bowler dad in a TJ Maxx. Not even a nicer department store. A fucking TJ Maxx. This whole show is a Dril tweet.

They put a ton of effort into making it dumb in an occasionally spectacular way. So much effort was put into that joke rock opera that fans will just write off as stupid filler. They put their whole pussies into it. This is not a poorly made show. This has better production values than half the shit made for Disney+. This was made with love. Maybe not as much love for the Sonic the Hedgehog series of video games as we'd like, but it's love nonetheless.

Maybe this show broke me and these are the ramblings of a madwoman. Maybe I'm just really nostalgic for the '90s and '00s comedy movies all the Wade stuff is modeled after. Maybe the Alan Wake fan in me just really loves it when a story pivots to a silly rock opera for no real reason. I won't discount any of these possibilities. This isn't high art. This isn't something I would recommend to anyone with zero interest in Sonic, and it also isn't going to sway Sonic fans who hate the Paramount universe. I really can't blame them for being bewildered by this show. But for a specific type of person, this is the absurd three-star Sonic-adjacent comedy miniseries of your dreams. It's a mid masterpiece.

Again, I just have to step back, realize the fact that this shouldn't exist, and smile. Sega's too afraid to do stupid bullshit with the franchise like this these days. And I can't blame them, after years of Sonic being a treated as a laughingstock. But part of me misses some of the goofy shit. No matter how much I tore some of the Archie comics apart as I was reading them for this blog, I just look back on stuff like Cal and Al or the Many Hands issues and laugh. And that same part of me looks at this show about Knuckles being the sidekick to this fucking guy, and just goes...

"We're so back."

In conclusion, I genuinely think this was a more enjoyable TV show than Sonic Prime.

I wouldn't go back and rewatch Sonic Prime anytime soon, aside from maybe, like, a couple of the Shadow-heavy episodes. Huge stretches of that show bored me to tears. The writers squandered all of that show's potential. But I would rewatch the Knuckles show, which takes a terrible premise and has a lot of fun with it, in a heartbeat. Even the bowling parts. The bowling scenes in the Knuckles show are more engaging than 70% of the fights in Sonic Prime. I am not trolling. I mean that sincerely, with all my heart. Don't @ me.

Stray observations

There is effectively zero meaningful setup for the third movie in this, unless Wade's family or the two GUN agents come back or something. Project Shadow is not mentioned in this. There is no secret post-credits scene with Gerald

The CGI in this is pretty good. Not quite on par with the movies, but pretty good. Sonic's weird forehead wrinkles are distracting in his scenes though. Please fix that

I wouldn't say I liked this as much as the second movie, which obviously gets a ton of points for, you know. The Cool Sonic Shit. But I had more fun with it than the first movie, which I still feel is a painfully generic family movie that was only saved by Tyson's redesign

"Grapes are an interesting choice for someone who doesn't use his individual fingers."

Agent Willoughby was apparently the one at GUN who had to buy the Olive Garden gift cards and set up the fake wedding. Her origin story is that she hated doing shit like that and wanted to go fight aliens

This miniseries contains another Keanu namedrop because Wade's childhood bedroom has a Speed poster on the wall. I swear, if Sonic doesn't say Shadow sounds just like Keanu...

Knuckles is familiar with Paul Blart Mall Cop

Near the end the ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators say that the 1974 Reno bowling championship was also interrupted by an extraterrestrial, and given that was exactly 50 years ago I can't write off the possibility that that was Shadow. Please for the love of god give us a sequel series after the third movie where Wade takes Shadow the Hedgehog bowling. I need this more than I need air

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

[skykind]

A Clone Wars Episode Deep Dive

I didn't discover The Clone Wars fandom until 2021 and only started watching the show in mid-2023 (finished a few months ago), and I want to discuss and analyze all sorts of odds and ends—years after most people watched. This includes cool stuff in episodes I think some fans understandably skip when doing re-watches and therefore no longer remember well, but I’m digging into one of them anyway. So, have a long post about S2:E11, "Lightsaber Lost," and then come talk to me about it if you’d like!

This episode is saying three things at once, and the closer you get to the symbolic message meant for mostly adult audiences, the wilder things get.

The literal plot: Ahsoka’s lightsaber is stolen, and she recovers it with the help of a Jedi elder who teaches her life lessons along the way.

The morality tale for young viewers: gun control (a bold choice).

An eerie interlude for older viewers: A pair of brief scenes—only 45 seconds or so in length combined—communicate the future purge of the Jedi order via symbolic visual storytelling and a speech that’s being broadcast in the background. No dialogue required.

I'm going to focus on this third bullet point, but I also recommend a re-watch for the gun control angle. (Hint: if you think the writers are only arguing for handling guns responsibly, you haven’t taken the Jedi’s current context into account; also, the writers aren't referring to literal in-universe guns—Ahsoka’s lightsaber is the gun.)

Back to the episode’s message for older viewers: Split over two scenes, the audience watches Ahsoka chase a bounty hunter in possession of her lightsaber, then the bounty hunter partially damage and destabilize an enormous levitating billboard so she can get away from Ahsoka, and finally Ahsoka tumble down and precariously cling to the billboard’s screen. The billboard shows Palpatine delivering a—likely prerecorded—speech that is meant to sound supportive of the Jedi, but is instead priming Coruscant residents to believe anti-Jedi rhetoric; just before this two-scene sequence ends, Palpatine also begins to explain why he needs more executive power in order to support the Jedi.

It's great to pinpoint an example of Palatine's propaganda, but what does the visual storytelling communicate, with this speech for a backdrop?

Note: the text of Palpatine’s speech, shown in captions in the following screenshots, is not in alt text as that would chop the speech up between image descriptions, and is instead in a single paragraph after the final screenshot.

Palpatine's Speech

"I have no doubt that the Jedi are doing their very best to ensure the safety of every citizen in the Republic. The accusations that the Jedi created the Clone War to give themselves more power over the government is absurd and I will not stand for it."

Ahsoka as Symbolically at Palpatine's Mercy

After a scene break, Palatine's speech picks up mid-sentence and we see just how small and vulnerable Ahsoka is compared to Palpatine's soaring and vast projection. She appears entirely at his mercy, and somewhat at the mercy of Coruscant as well.

Palpatine's Speech, Resumed

"…Count Dooku and his droid army. To support the Jedi's efforts in the war, I ask the Senate to pass these new laws, giving more jurisdiction…"

The Genocide to Come

As this speech is broadcast to Coruscant, the seemingly trustworthy and dependable Chancellor of the Republic symbolically collapses beneath Ahsoka and leaves her stranded over a chasm. All while Palpatine spreads propaganda that will eventually convince the public to support her people's genocide.

Perhaps the best way to describe this is:

An unarmed Ahsoka struggles to hang onto the edge of a high precipice, that precipice is a symbol for Palpatine—and in a few years, Palpatine will shove the entire Jedi order off the edge of a much higher cliff.

Given how the sheer visual scale of Palpatine in this second scene represents the power he can wield over the Jedi—as the staging emphasizes Ahsoka's relative smallness and her physical vulnerability—it's clear the Jedi will not be able to rescue themselves when this future betrayal comes; Palpatine has amassed too much power and put too many plans in place. And no one who's bought into Palpatine's propaganda will try to catch the Jedi when they go over the edge.

Ahsoka’s Survival

Ahsoka’s individual survival of Order 66 is signaled here by her ability to get off the levitating billboard, but nothing about the staging suggests this comes down to unique skill—any number of well-trained Jedi could have gotten out of her predicament when the right opportunity (a single speeder that veers out of its lane and passes unusually close to the screen) presented itself.

In both “Lightsaber Lost” and "Victory and Death" (S7:E12, see below), her survival involves flinging herself through open air (and into an out-of-place flying vehicle), a nice nod to Ahsoka’s association with flight and Morai, though I feel like that’s a coincidence (?) as of season 2. Or maybe not. I have no idea if Ahsoka’s symbolic associations—flight in the case of “Lightsaber Lost,” rather than Morai specifically—were planned out in advance.

What About the Propaganda?

Returning to season 2, we come to the final big-picture takeaway of the "Lightsaber Lost" scenes: I’ve referred to Palpatine’s speech as something that plays in the background because Ahsoka doesn’t pay attention to his propaganda, even though it’s literally in her face. What does this mean if we treat Ahsoka as a stand-in for the Jedi, and Palpatine’s speech as a stand-in for his growing threat to the Jedi?   In these scenes, Ahsoka first doesn’t pay attention because she’s trying to stay alive in precarious circumstances, just as Jedi across the galaxy are kept distracted from the big picture by trying to keep themselves, their Padawans, their troops, and civilians alive as war swallows up the galaxy. Then, Ahsoka is distracted by tracking the bounty hunter who has her lightsaber; in the context of this episode (which asks, ‘who should be allowed to use a lightsaber, and when?’), Ahsoka’s lightsaber also comes to represent Jedi’s efforts to fight the Clone Wars as ethically as possible. It presumably takes more time and effort to fight a war when you’re concerned with morals, at least when the opposition is perfectly happy to commit war crimes.   By tossing the Jedi into a war, Palpatine keeps them too busy to systemically search for the Master Sith (in addition to Sith stuff diminishing the Jedi’s ability to use the force), as their time is eaten up by upholding the equivalent of the Geneva and Hague Conventions (etc.) when almost no one else is, by protecting as many other lives as possible, and by staying alive.

And The Clone Wars communicates all of this in a minute! Though I’ll admit my final point about Ahsoka’s lightsaber representing ethical combat is a stretch. I love it when TV shows and movies make full use of visual storytelling, and The Clone Wars is fabulous at it.

Whew—and that’s that! I’m grateful if even a single person has read this far and would love to know what you think, but regardless, I had fun analyzing this episode and organizing my thoughts about it. Cheers to the Clone Wars fandom.

[ducktracy]

I personally think that Tex Avery's MGM Cartoons should be considered one of the great cartoon series of the 40s, along with Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and Woody Woodpecker. Ok sure there are the Droopy cartoons, but I mean all the cartoons there he made together.

i'd be surprised if they aren't already! his name is thrown around a lot, though you do have a point in that he seems to be remembered most for Droopy and his wolf... which i'm not complaining about though at all, i adore the Droopy shorts

but yeah, Tex's MGM shorts are ASTOUNDINGGGGGGGGGGGG! every time i watch them my jaw is on the floor. he, like the Popeye cartoons, activates my "HOW DID THEY DO THAT?? YOU CAN DO THAT???" reaction that just really make for some of my favorite shorts ever made. there's such a sense of magic in watching them. definitely recommend giving his MGM shorts a watch if you haven't!! there are actually still a few i have yet to see, which i need to change... Northwest Hounded Police, One Ham's Family, Dumb-Hounded, Wags to Riches, Lonesome Lenny, Hound Hunters Little 'Tinker, and Dixieland Droopy are a few favorites off the top of my head!

it was very cool getting to see a bunch of production art from his shorts in person during my earlier trip to LA! i managed to come away with the Hound Hunters drawing, but not after 15 minutes of going back and forth between it and the equally gorgeous Slap Happy Lion drawing

[mariyekos]

New DMC Anime Trailer Breakdown, Part 1

Okay so thoughts on the new DMC Anime trailer, which you can see here:

Putting things under the cut!

First things first, it's definitely going to at least take a few things from the DMC3 manga.

Second: It at least uses CGI in part....but more than that, on rewatching it... Are those Agni and Rudra!? Which means it also covers DMC3 in part.

Other fun things to note- I'm not sure if Dante's plate is a reference to anything, but he does have New York plates, so we can assume this DMC takes place in the US, even if the games are ambiguously sort of British/European based on architecture and director commentary.

Going to be honest- I'm not sure if these guys are a reference to anything. If they are, it's going over my head, but I could definitely see them just being generic bad guys/hunters.

Rebellion looks nice here! Also, looks like we're continuing the tradition of Dante getting attacked at his shop, because with a Pool table, jukebox, and the posters on the wall, I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be Dante's shop. Fun that we get a shot of him without his coat too, though he must put it on at another point since he has it in the above shots.

Then we have the exploding plane scene, which afaik is new but also feels very DMC. RIP the other people in that airplane though. Still, I like how wacky and over the top it is!

We also have a demon in the background of this shot...

And someone I'm preeety sure is Enzo (from the DMC3 Manga and Bayonetta!) Although on second glance, this guy looks like he might be blond, which Enzo is not. Still, it could just be a design choice they went with.

Following that is a shot of....probably not Jester because of the short nose, but something I'm sure is connected to Arkham in some way. I want to say they wouldn't get rid of his face scar, so I'm banking on there being a plotline related to Arkham having multiple minions Dante has to take down.

The giant hell portal in the sky isn't super special. We see it in both DMC3 and the old DMC anime, after all.

Then water guy...who I also don't remember as an enemy tbh. Could be new, could be my bad memory showing face. But he's a cyclops with axe hands which is interesting.

Dante's bullets are engraved with Jackpot which I find hilarious but also cool. Just imagining him using magic/demonic power to carve that in is great. I do wonder if they're going to have him reload though? Ebony and Ivory generally use magic bullets as far as I remember, but I know Coyote-A ejects shells. This bullet is shot from Ivory though.

EDIT: Looking at it again, these guns aren't Ebony and Ivory. They're both white/grey. Assuming this isn't them being lazy/an animation error, it might be that this is a real bullet...that he engraved using magic or just special gun stuff instead of just making the bullet itself from magic. I am not interested in guns in real life, but I think guns are supposed to have a function where they leave a mark on the bullets they fire so you can identify which gun shot the bullet? So it could be a human-made modification too.

Then there's the demon he shoots, which I think is a reference to Alice and the demons from the DMC3 manga (and a nice reference to the Sin Scissors and other beings that you can get the kill on with a bullet to the mask).

Not totally sure what the thing Dante shoots is, but it looks to be some sort of pendant. Is it some possessed thing that the girl has? Not super important though, because WHY IS ECHIDNA FROM DMC4 HERE?! Not upset, just surprised. Didn't notice this in my first watch.

After that we get Dante saving a girl from a... car? train? Something getting thrown into a diner that reminds me of the one from the old DMC anime, so here's me hoping we might get some fun downtime scenes like we did in that show. Maybe we'll see a strawberry sundae :)

Actually wait-

STRAWBERRY SUNDAE IDENTIFIED! Also I don't have a picture of her on hand, but is this maybe the waitress from that anime? A younger version? I'll look for a picture later, but for the sake of getting this out earlier than later, I'll just say I'm pretty sure she was a redhead too.

EDIT: Rewatching the trailer, the blue cyclops demon from before is in front of a sign that I'm pretty sure is supposed to say Freddie's Diner like in the OG Anime, so I'm going with the waitress being the same woman or otherwise related.

After that we get what looks to be a human that turned into a demon. My bet is that this guy was always a demon who was pretending to be human, but I think it could be interesting if there was a plotline about Arkham transforming humans into demons while trying to achieve godhood.

And hey look, Dante has what looks to be a stab mark through his chest and a hole in his shirt :) i bet this boy is getting stabbed through the chest, let's gooooo!

EDIT: Back, so I'll continue.

On second glance- wait, these guns are both gray, which means they aren't Ebony and Ivory. I'm putting my money into the DMC3 anime including Dante meeting Nell rather than this being an animation/coloring error.

Aaaand I hit the image limit, darn. Part 2 can be found here.

[apollocabinrep]

Dear Bianca,

Writing letters is a lot harder than mamma made it seem. I think if the nymphs saw how much paper I've tossed away, they'd throw me in the lake. I'm staying at camp now, so I've made it easier for them. We have our own cabin, well I do. Annabeth said you would never get to be in it, because of joining the Hunters.

Some part of me wants to be mad at you for leaving me- both dying and choosing rebirth, but we both know I'm not, not anymore at least. I just really, really miss you. I took have mia sorellona for granted. I can't blame you for wanting to leave me though, I was a really annoying kid. And I didn't realize how hard putting up with annoying kids were until I got "stolen" by the Apollo cabin.

My boyfriend, yeah I have one of those now, Will has two younger siblings, Austin and Kayla. Between me and you, Austin is my favorite. They're not 10 year olds obsessed with Mythomagic but Gods, Bi, I have no idea how you did it. They're not bad, just exhausting to be around sometimes. Actually so is Will. Bi, he is making me catch up on films, though people now just call them 'movies'. It's a weird word, but apparently I'm old for preferring to call them films.

We have another sorella, too. Her name is Hazel and she's Roman. She's helped me through a lot. At first, I saw her as a replacement for you, but truthfully, I'm really happy to have Hazel as herself. You two are really different, but I couldn't be happier for it. That's a weird thing to think about, huh. Was I really a happy kid, Bi? After everything I've been through, it feels like I'm just now getting to be happy, but I know I was happy to have you in my life.

I really wish you hadn't gotten that stupid figurine. It wasn't worth your life. I would've much preferred my sister coming back alive, but I can't change the past. I have a best friend now, I think. His name is Jason and he's kind of annoying. He left with his girlfriend Piper to go find their recently undead friend Leo. He also builds shrines for the Minor Gods, which is pretty cool. It hopefully keeps them from trying to kill us, and he is really excited about it.

Gods, Bi, nothing this good ever lasts long for me. It's terrifying and I wish you were here to give me a hug. Healing is really hard and if you knew the language I've started to use you'd be grabbing soap with a horrified face. I wish you could meet everyone. Not Leo. I'm still mad at him for pulling his dying not dying trick.

Do you think you'll remember me after your next life? I hope so. You don't have to worry about me so much. I plan to fight for this life I have. Everyone is insufferable, but they aren't bad people.

Your fratellino,

Niccolò

---

[Italian translations:

Mamma - mom

Mia sorellona - big sister

Sorella - sister

Fratellino - little brother]

[cosmerelists]

My Top 10 Favorite Cosmere Characters

Today is my birthday, so it's time for a purely self-indulgent birthday list! I thought I'd just share my own personal Top 10 Cosmere characters, which will just prove once and for all that I am SUCH a Stormlight girlie.

[Spoilers for Stormlight, Mistborn Era 1 & Era 2 and Shadows for Silence]

#10: TenSoon

I think I almost like TenSoon better in Era 2, when he's, like, an immortal quasi-divine figure who also happens to be a big, fluffy puppy. I like it when characters from different eras interact, so I was quite taken by having Wax meet TenSoon. I was also a fan of TenSoon back in the original series though, especially as his loyalty to Vin developed. And I'm one for a tragic sacrifice, so the kandra trying to kill themselves to avoid getting taken over by Ruin--that was a powerful moment (and I'm big fan of the fact that they did not, in fact, die. It was still a heroic sacrifice!).

#9: Silence

It's hard to say how much my love for Silence is part & parcel with my love for Threnody which, for whatever reason, is my favorite Cosmere planet. I like how Silence interacts with Threnody--the sheer horror and fatalism of living right on the edge of that forest, being a mother and a bounty hunter, keeping your dead grandmother in a back room...

#8: Adolin

I think Adolin is one of those characters I like because of his relationships with other characters. Especially Maya--I really love the relationship Adolin has with his sword, and when he and Maya fight back to back using the kata...that's one of my favorite scenes. I think he and Shallan are cute, and that he and Kaladin are cute, and that the three of them are a triad in their hearts. Also, and this will be a theme throughout this list, I love competent fighters and good fight sequences, so Adolin's duels really put him near the top for me.

#7: Navani

Rhythm of War really made me love Navani, I think. And not only because of that unhealthy yet somehow alluring relationship she had with Raboniel. We'll see throughout this list that I just like really competent characters, and Navani is such a smart and cool inventor of stuff, from watches to pain management devices to flying ships. And knowing what she went through with Gavilar and how she was made to think she wasn't smart or worthwhile only to have Dalinar and Raboniel recognize that yes she was smart and good at things and now she's cracked the code to make god-killing weapons and has bonded the Sibling and she's just so cool.

#6: Sazed

Honestly, I really love Sazed both before and after his ascension. I heard that people aren't always fans of Harmony, but I find him just as fascinating, if not more so--the idea of trying to balance such discordant shards in one being. But Sazed is, I think, my favorite character from the Mistborn Era 1 books. He is so sincere and smart and competent and deals with so much shit all the time. And I think he's doing his best.

#5: Jasnah

Like, Jasnah is just cool. She's so polished. So competent. So deadly. So smart. I think seeing Jasnah through Shallan's eyes for so long really made me respect and fear her as much as a reader can respect/fear a book character. That moment that she and Dalinar bonded over the book after Gavilar's death--very sweet. Kinda disappoited that we didn't get much with Jasnah & Elhokar--hard to remember they're siblings sometimes. In conclusion, I am both excited and scared to get more of her tragic backstory soon.

#4: Leshwi

Listen, I like cool fight sequences and enemies who bear a deep respect for each and duel a lot but never from a place of hatred. So, I was basically made to like Leshwi and how she interacts with Kaladin. But I also just like Leshwi's interactions with everyone. Leshwi and Moash? Awesome. "Hey you killed me once. Respect." Leshwi and Venli? Heck yeah. "I am slowly feeling you out and trying to see where your loyalties lie because they might intersect with mine." Once I am thrilled that Lewshi is joining the Listeners now. I want her to form a Radiant bond SO BAD.

#3: Steris

I seem to recall Brandon Sanderson talking about Steris as a character you don't like at first, but later you grow to love her. But if I remember correctly, I feel like I always liked Steris? Like yes, the marriage contract was a lot, but it was also so thorough and honest (and, honestly, funny). And then she just grew on me from there. As someone who makes a lot of lists, I also feel a kinship with Steris.

#2: Shallan

The first two times I read through the Stormlight Archives, I was all about Kaladin. But the third time, I really started to realize just how much I like the Shallan chapters. I think Shallan is a great character with a great arc--and I love the way she sort of grows into herself and her powers. Plus, I enjoy the slow reveal of how much she's already done--she already has a shardblade. And two spren bonds. And many murders under her belt. Quite the resume. And I really love Veil and Radiant, but especially Veil. The scene during the Oathbringer climax where she holds hand with her alters while constantly creating other alters to let them be killed legitimately makes me cry. She holds back a whole army by herself! She's amazing!

#1: Kaladin

Kaladin was my favorite character pretty much from the very moment I started reading Cosmere books (I started with Way of Kings), and he has never been dethroned in my heart. First, there's the simple fact that I love good fight scenes and fantasy heroics and people who gain the power they need at the very last second...and Kaladin does those things like every other chapter. But also, Kaladin is just such a good character. I love how he's not just a shallow fantasy hero--he has depression, and invents therapy, and struggles with guilt, and doesn't always make good choices. Sometimes the Kaladin chapters are tough--Rhythm of War was downright painful sometimes with just how much Kaladin was suffering--but even so. I will always look forward to the Kaladin parts the most, and like many, I deem Kaladin my #1 Cosmere Blorbo.

[rayclubs]

The thing about the Chimera Ant arc is, people call it the most heartbreaking and dark but more named protagonists die in Yorkshin. Gon is hurt badly but recovers afterwards, Knov is traumatized but lives with it, a bunch of people are injured but they all survive. Even Kaito lives. Sure, a whole bunch of ants die, but there was hardly a different outcome to be expected. I'm sure nobody was waiting for Leor or Cheetu to learn kindness. Hell, even if they did, they're not, like, the Phantom Troupe level of endearing, they're practically side characters.

Netero dies, and I'm sure someone was emotionally attached to him, but I know I wasn't. It's sad, yeah, but it's cool to watch too, and he goes out with a bang (ha!), so it can be counted as a triumphant moment.

The royal guards die, but, again, was there really any other outcome for them? I was half-expecting Youpi to gain self-awareness and fuck off into the sunset but ah well, it's not as though I was rooting for him. Pitou was doomed from the start, and Pouf, well, I want to put Pouf through the meat grinder, wings and all.

I think the Chimera Arc goes hard not because it's dark and gritty but because it's a masterful lesson in suspense. I'm only slightly exaggerating when I tell you I was shitting my goddamn pants when Knuckle went to punch Youpi and nearly #gotkilled, or every time Meleoron ran out of air, or when Knov snuck into the palace, or when Palm saw Pitou's En, or when Shoot was fighting, or when Youpi told Knuckle to remove Hakoware (dunno what the thing itself is called in English, it's PPS in the Russian subs so I call it Pipis. Anyway) or when I thought Morel was going to fucking die for some reason?

Like, okay, I first watched HxH years ago, when I was a kid, and while I remembered a decent amount of things, I sure didn't remember everything. So when I started the Chimera Ant arc on rewatch, I remembered two things about Morel: I loved him and he fucking died??? I don't know where I got that from, I watched it through and through, Alluka's arc and all, yet I was convinced he was doomed. There was maybe an inkling of suspicion in my mind because I couldn't remember why I loved him so much, but then the Colt and Reina scene happened and I was like. Oh. Ohhh. So my memory IS right on this. Fast-forward to his fight with Leor and I'm screaming at my screen thinking this is it, I remember this, this is where he dies, I'm like 99% sure. And what do you know? Bitch made it out unscathed. Holy shit.

Anyhow, the Chimera Ant arc goes hard because the author understands plot armor and deliberately endears to the audience a cast of characters who aren't wearing it. You don't fear for Killua's life because Killua has plot armor, you know he's not gonna die, it's the rules. You know who isn't immune to being repatriated to the Underworld? Fucking nearly everyone else.

HxH is also very good at making the protagonist not the protagonist. Gon really shines during the Hunter Exam or the Greed Island arcs, but the main character of the Yorkshin arc is Kurapika, and the main character of Alluka's arc is Killua, and the main character of the Chimera Ant arc is... Well, there's a discussion to be had about this, but I think it's Knuckle. He has that anime protag rizz, y'know? He has a rival-slash-foil in Shoot, he has a mentor figure in Morel, his ability is treated as a trump card for the longest time, he stays on the battlefield nearly untill the end, he's the protag, and, very notably, he's a protag who is NOT wearing plot armor. That's why the arc hits hard. That's why everybody thinks it's the darkest. It's a narrative trick.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapters #00-01

all | next

lets fucking do this

I'm annotating every chapter of trigun, both the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read). Literally just writing down everything I notice about details, version differences, translation notes, etc. and also being gay about the characters. happy pride month

I had other stuff to do today yesterday so I only got through a little bit but pace will pick up tomorrow today (1 volume/week is faster than i thought...)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And there are just so many annotation images so I just put the rest under the cut <3 read my notes boy

[edit: why aren't the images not being side by side like i want them to i hate this. here's the url for my blog page with correct formatting] [edit 2: i guess it's only on desktop, not on mobile. so that's good]

First thing I noticed was the difference in the number of volumes, or the number of chapters in each volume. In my JP copy, volume 1 ends at Chapter #07: Rem, while Overhaul (and I assume every version after the first JP print) ends at #12: River of Life.

Anyways onto the actual images

21st of July - !! didn't notice [that the July incident actually happened in July] during 1st read b/c months are only numbers in Japanese 11 hours after destruction - July incident was 2am

For some reason I thought he was standing this whole time. unneccesary details georg

Estimated age: 24 - Official age for his appearance? dang he's young Appearance - "Place of origin/birth," not "what he looks like" The worst kind of outlaw, and an unrivalled killer. - Added in a later version? (not in my JP copy but the phrase is familiar)

This blank space originally had the Japanese translation for the board.

We see his serious expression already! I don't remember '98 doing so this early on so it's pretty notable to me...

Just thinking about how Vash counted each individual gunshot being fired during all that chaos... dear god.... During my first read/watch I thought it was just silly Rule of Cool protagonist moment but not really. This guy actually has Insane perception, either from being a plant or sheer practice. Or both.

Also immediately after all that, I really love the way the aftermath is shown here. The only things you can hear are the creaks of the light and the crying boy. It really brings out the tension in the atmosphere.

Finally, something other than unneccesary bits! If you look at the flooring under the toy gun, the perspective lines are pointing SW-NE. This corresponds to the flooring on Vash's right, whose right arm is also suspiciously out-of-frame... This is definitely the moment he took the toy gun. I can't express the amount of Holy Shit I felt when I realized this. The detail!!!!! man!!!!!!!!!

There's a little translation error here - it should be something like "Even if he were still alive, he wouldn't be able to move an inch!"

One of my favorite Vash moves with one of my favorite Tumblr heritage posts.

This is not really based on any drawn details, but I think this is the moment that Vash readies the toy gun, puts it in his pocket, and picks up the ketchup. Do Not trust this man when his arm is not visible. Also finger still in gun <3 doing his part blocking one bullet at a time

And here we have Vash's first COOL cool moment!!!!!! cue my homo screaming. goddddddddd im so mentally unwell about him. agh I also absolutely love when Nightow does that thing where he screen-tones a character's skin just because. It pops!! It's unique!! I love it!! I eat it up every time!!!

Here's where I realize that Vash's hair antennae are pointing straight up. I should be on the lookout for when he makes the transition to the M-shaped antennae we know and love.

Also, a little untranslatable joke from the Japanese version. In Japanese, this guy calls out at Vash like "And you, don't provoke him!" except it's written with the kanji for "Hunter" (狩人 karyūdo), with a ruby pronunciation note saying "you" (おまえも omaemo). These kanji/ruby mismatch jokes are never not funny and it's so sad that there's no way to keep them in without doing...this lol

The "I counted!" reveal never fails to get me. holy shit. I love the little boy's expression when he gets his gun back :) You helped!!! and you don't have to have the real deal to be cool as balls!!!

Just lumping this with the previous two because it's a tall image, but another small translation error. Rather than being about doing harm, he's talking about recieving it (～～はゴメンだ is a hard-to-catch phrasing/idiom; it's already been discussed with the translator on a different instance). It should be more like "[...But] nobody likes getting hurt, right?"

THE GIRLIES YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not including the dialogue because. y'know. At least they get (accidentally) Bonked by Millie :) get their asses

Here, the order suggestion is made by somebody off-screen, but in the first edition, it was made by the cook himself. (left image annotation says "the storekeeper(cook) is so nice!")

That's it for chapters #00-01! I'm going to keep having Category 5 Autism Events every day aren't I.

It's literally 1:20am as of finishing this post because my computer won't stop crashing. Posting this first thing in the morning tomorrow <3

Also, the Japanese copy of the annotations will be in the reblogs for anyone who wants to see them. The emotions are Rawer and they're phrased way less awkwardly... if you can read them lol

[pathetic-gamer]

Fashion in Fódlan part iii: yet another very long and entirely unsolicited FE3H costume design analysis

This time, we're focusing specifically on the placement of quivers, because that's a very normal thing to get caught up in and I'm very normal.

[Part 1, focused on money and social aspects in all three countries; Part 2, focused on political aspects between church/empire; bonus part 2.5, regarding a crown]

This post came about because of this video from @blumineck (who posts lots of cool stuff btw, go check out his blog), which talks about quiver types and their purposes, pros and cons, etc.

Shall we?

So, while watching that video, I remembered for whatever reason that Cyril has a back quiver, but Ashe has a hip quiver.

The reason my brain went there was that I immediately thought "Oh, Cyril actually does more hunting and physical labor than Ashe, and as demonstrated in the video, a back quiver is more practical for him. That makes sense - great attention to detail, FE3H character designers!"

I figured that would likely carry over to other characters, specifically our other canonically talented hunters. Therefore, Leonie and Petra should also have back quivers, yes?

Wrong! Leonie has a hip quiver, and Petra has no quiver.

That's odd, so let's look into this a little deeper. Here are the other canon archers:

Shamir

Claude

Ignatz

Bernadetta

You will note that Ignatz and Claude don't have quivers in their outfits, but Claude does wear a hip quiver in an animated 2d cutscene. Ignatz we've already determined is a bit if an anarchist, so nothing interesting there - he will be benched from the discussion.

The really notable thing here, which I'm sure you've picked up on, is that everyone except Cyril uses hip quivers.

BUT WAIT!

Let's consider Claude again. Check out his final class, Barbarossa:

What's that I spy? A back quiver???

Surely you can make the connection easily: Our two token Almyrans are the *only* people with back quivers.

So, why is that?

Let's return to the others, briefly. What do Ashe, Leonie, and Bernadetta all have in common? Their skills set them up for becoming bow knights. Shamir just wants to remain a sniper, but can go that direction as well.

Mounted archery almost always uses hip quivers, according to my research (*cough cough duck duck go image search "mounted archery"*), so it makes sense that all of our innate archers have those hip quivers.

What makes Claude and Cyril different? Well, thanks to Almyran typecasting, they are both placed on wyverns, not horses! That means significantly more mobility than the bow knights (bow knights aren't doing loop-de-loops), so they need their quivers to be more secure! Boom, mystery solved!

...or is it?

Of course not. It always goes deeper.

Tell me, history buffs: Throughout world history, who are among the most famous horse archers? What group of people most immediately comes to mind? Among whom, exactly, were armies of mounted archers a defining feature?

If you said Mongolians, you were right.

And how, pray tell, do Mongolian horseback archers wear their quivers?

ON THEIR BACKS. CHECKMATE.

(I tried to find name of this archer to credit her but couldn't track it down. She was the winner of a competition that took place during a festival in Inner Mongolia, China at some point in the last like 15 years, so incredibly skilled. Wish I could point y'all in her direction for more cool stuff!)

[twstunes]

okay this isn't a tierlist it's more of a groupings list

BORING DRESS SHOES CONTAINMENT ZONE

[ Trey, Deuce, Jack, Azul, Jade, Malleus, Silver, Sebek, Trein ]

There's not much to say about most of these except that I don't like them. Yes yes they're functional and fit the personalities of those wearing them. I'll still die on the hill that plain dress shoes are more boring than they are classy >:/

Trey, Deuce, Jack, and Silver all have on penny loafers, which are about as casual as you can get while still counting as formalwear-appropriate. Azul and Jade appear to both have on plain-toe oxfords, which I'm sure they coordinated on. Malleus and Trein also seem to have some variety of oxfords, though Trein might be wearing derbies?

Sebek's in here bc I'm not quite sure what's going on with his shoes. Considering that rectangular portion on the interior sides & the fact he's in Equestrian Club, I wouldn't be surprised if they were jodhpurs? They accomplish the same visual effect as basic dress shoes, though, so in the containment zone he stays.

ZESTY DRESS SHOES

[ Riddle, Floyd, Lilia, Crowley, Crewel, Sam ]

Floyd, Lilia, and Sam make up the milder end of the zest spectrum. Floyd made his own shoes and thus gets a cool-by-default technicality. Lilia's shoes are fairly basic loafers, but the bat engraving and large golden heels are enough to nudge them under the "interesting" umbrella. Sam's shoes aren't really visible under his spats, but he remembered the crucial aesthetic detail of matching his spats w/ his gloves, so he gets a pass.

Riddle's shoes have heart-shaped cap toes and heels so chunky they might as well be wedges; both of these details perfectly fit his heart-themed and undersized ass. Crowley appears to have on derbies w/ extensive lace-patterned embellishments, which feels in-line with his love of fancy little baubles. I'd assumed Crewel was wearing saddle shoes at first glance, but now that I'm looking at them…those are full brogues, I'm pretty sure? (Good walking shoes, thus a good pick for a dog owner.)

BOOT CORNER

[ Rook, Epel ]

Rook is a hunter, and hunters need sturdy shoes that can hold up to long treks through the wilderness (or across campus). These are literally boots you could pick up at any given Tractor Supply. I personally believe Vil hates these shoes but cannot do anything to stop Rook from wearing them. He balances them out with his fancy hat, though, so maybe that's enough to placate Vil?

Epel grew up in Harveston, where I don't think it's possible to wear anything less than boots without getting frostbite most months of the year. Epel's probably been stomping around in these bad boys for A While; the tartan pattern is just unique enough to make it feel more like a hand-me-down than something Vil would buy for him.

ACTUAL SENSIBLE SHOES

[ Cater, Ace, Ruggie, Jamil, Idia, Vargas ]

Cater goes with some stylish slip-ons. They're comfy, they're convenient, and they go with most outfits. This dude would definitely wear the checkered Vans if he could.

I fully believe Ace picked out his shoes based entirely on how they looked. It worked out well in the end tho, bc they're perfect for how active he is. He and Idia are the only ones who don't change into different shoes for PE.

Ruggie, Jamil, and Vargas all have on practical, comfy sneakers, which makes sense considering they're some of the most active people on campus—Ruggie and Jamil are constantly running errands, and Vargas teaches PE all day. I like that Jamil's actually seem a little faded from use, though chances are that's just how they're supposed to look.

Idia, despite being a shut-in, at least has the good sense to put on what appear to be velcro shoes when he goes out. (Choosing velcro over laces is also maybe a safety thing? Easy to get on and off, no laces to come undone and trip over. Very important in a dorm with a lot of expensive tech!)

OUTLIERS

[ Leona, Kalim, Vil, Ortho ]

Leona is well-aware of the standard level of chaos that happens every day at NRC, but that isn't going to stop him from wearing sandals instead of something more protective. Dude wants to be comfy above all else, and frankly, I respect it. Either Crewel hasn't noticed Leona's lack of lab-safe footwear or he's given up on getting the guy to wear closed-toe shoes.

Kalim has on juttis w/ the classic curled/pointed tips. Iirc, curled, pointed tips are startlingly good at reducing the amount of sand that gets into shoes! Seeing as both his home and dorm are in desert environments, these make perfect sense for Kalim's go-to footwear.

Someone at this school full of prettyboys had to put on the heels, and Vil is the only baddie committed to fashion enough to follow through. This pair is undoubtedly custom-made—not just because that's the kind of person Vil is, but because they specifically feature Pomefiore's dorm colors.

Ortho doesn't wear shoes. That's just his body. He also doesn't walk in these bc, according to Idia, "walking is for normies." This foot design is present in all of Ortho's bodies except for his athletic gear, seeing as his athletic gear is the only one meant for walking instead of floating. (Since they're shaped kinda like pincers, I wonder if he can use them for picking things up?)

[elsa-rain-world-stuff]

Have you seen any of the rain world PMV's on youtube? Any thoughts/favourite ones? I am currently BAWLING over Tiny Alien by Yaloellie

I'm more of a meme preson

Stuff like this, short, nice looking, sometimes, if ur lucky, plot relevant

Last things i saw and loved are this one (saint spoilers) and this one (pebbles and moon spoilers)

This one has the cutest style and heartbreaking images

Hunter spoilers - cute, upbeat, soulcrushing

Artificer spoilers - love this one, especially little animation at the end, just wow

Also Arti spoilers - so SMOOTH. And i Love Arti's smile in this one, just 💥💥💥

Arti again - love this one too especially how she gets spear in her chest 💀💖

Arrrrtiiii - I'm sure you've seen this one, but I'm in love with the way this artist draws rw creatures just awawaw

Arti Karma - makes me MAD that i didn't remember this meme first!!! Because Karma meme was one of if not The first ever meme i saw, and fits Arti SO DAMN PERFECT

Pebbles jumpscare - and little bit of moon

Everything? - original meme with Rain World music, with one of my FAVORITE rain world tracks!!!

Moon and Pebbles - just Stunning.

Surv, monk, scavs? - also really beautiful art style and smooth animation

Monk - cute and also first ever Rain World meme i saw (i think i saw it even before i played the game, saved for inspo, then found it and was like OMG RAINWORL!!)

Also i should mention series of animations from mama boy about their OCs - slugbot, iterator consumed by the rot, other very, VERY unhinged iterator (honestly i love them) and sone other characters i guess. It's got plot and cool fighting scenes!!! Even tho it's all sketchy, animation is really smooth and nice to look at!! And episodes (they aren't exactly called like that but they are) come out quite often - for an animation.

Damn that's a long list. Didn't expect that. Of course i mentioned not all things i saw, only that are my faves. Okay that's all j think.

P.s. don't ask me to watch any MAPs, I'm still getting angry when i see any

(Reason: i was rejected from two, so now i hate all maps) (i know it's childish and stuff shut up i can't stop it) (same with zines)

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):

7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.

7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart

Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.

7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.

Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.

They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.

They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.

Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.

Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).

Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).

And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house

I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.

Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!

Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.

We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.

But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)

Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)

Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics

And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell

But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man

Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)

The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier

Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI

Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell

Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain

When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly

Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery

2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues

You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!

His mom is simultaneously alive and dead

His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)

HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP

HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT

Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)

CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]

A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)

Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that

So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there

This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon

Rock and roll(er)

Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13

for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred

definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)

Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!

I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:

Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.

...

[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.

...

Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?

Gable and Nicky Together:

We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.

Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.

Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.

[wannabemasterofwindintraining]

please tell us more about the parallels, Blue 🙏 /nf

Like logan n lunia parallels? Sure

Well first there's the ahaha they're both blue in the dream world that my cracktheory is based on but also when u start looking at the nightmare creatures you actually get more parallels

Both of them are entangled w the nightmare king n the other nightmare creatures in a way the other characters aren't (night hunter is an outlier n should not be counted)

For lunia spoilers but she basically created the nightmare king n by extension all the nightmare creatures we don't know what she thinks about the creatures but the nightmare king was her best friend

And for logan well who does the nightmare king decide to manipulate to get what he wants? Him he's the person that starts befriending the creatures (well mostly sneak) instead of beefing on sight

He's the one they use to spy on the others n he basically turns into a monster which it's not really clear what he turns into but based on the others reactions when they first see his transformation I'd say he probably resembles a nightmare creatures to some extent

Also the music

There's apparently a musical notes hologram in lunias hourglass and also the hourglass itself is music activated like there's clearly some musical themes going on w her

N what's one of logans intrests? Music (i mean zoey two but this is MY post pointing out parallels so i can pick n choose whatever i want) his music intrest is more apparent in s2 with his victory song n that music video of his going viral but he also wanted to be the dj for that Halloween event in s1 n his music basically saved everyone in that siren episode i don't remember episode names

I'll admit the music parallels aren't as strong as the monster stuff but I'm just listing out the parallels n i think the music stuff is neat

Also once you look at it with the assumption that they have a connection you start to notice another parallel or more like a foil? Idk words

Lunia is the greatest at everything ever she is so cool n creative n smart but logan on the other hand? He's just a loser

Yea physically he's more athletic than the others but everything lunia excels at logan just can't do

Lunia is The Most Powerful DreamChaser™️ according to literally everyone girlie imagined a person so real he turned against her n started a war n then created a whole realm on her own she's apparently also very creative n smart based on the challenges n riddles in her castle

Logan on the other hand? Idk how true that is but the other characters imply he's not creative enough to customise his dream avatar he's clearly not the smartest n he can not dream craft he doesn't even have an hourglass (sidenote in the original theory post i did mention that he was the only one to use lunias hourglass n actually i was wrong mateo also uses it so I'd like to apologise for spreading misinformation I'm just a little guy I'm just a little baby)

Also both their names start with L wake up ppl this is a clear sign they're connected THE EVIDENCE WAS ALL THERE ALL ALONG IT WAS IN THEIR NAMES ALL ALO

Anyways idk be gay dreamcraft or whatever

[darth-kote]

Cutup Headcanons Pt. 1

Has made a ritual out of mealtime. It's one of the only chances throughout his day that he doesn't have to worry as much about being quiet so as not to sabotage the rest of the team. He chooses what he knows tastes the least offensive to his palate, then picks a spot to wait for the rest of the group to join him before digging in. He can unwind while replenishing his body's energy and enjoying his squad's company, even if they all tend to be quieter and let Cutup fill the void with a story General Anakin had told him or something from his day when they weren't together for a brief second. Maybe in the beginning, before passing their training, they'd yell at him to shut it, but a lot's changed since being cadets on Kamino. They seem to understand better now that he can't help it – those mile a minute thoughts bubbling to the surface. He feels they should be caught up, so he does it. He's grateful when they don't hold him to the expectation of silence.

Hate isn't a strong enough word for how he feels about authority. From the Kaminoans to trainers like Bric to even Hevy... They've all hit him where it hurts before. Of course, nowadays are better with Hevy – so much so he's practically the only person Cutup will obey. If an order comes from Rex or even their Jedi General, he can't help the cock of his brow and second glance given in Hevy's direction. Only once Hevy nods does he get to work. He's never once thought about the lack of punishment for this (doesn't even consider the possible consequences as he does it), and he has no idea how many times Hevy has had to defend him for it when he wasn't around to hear.

When he sees Clone Force 99 around, he can't help but feel like a fan too nervous to approach their celebrity crush. He just thinks they're so cool. He remembers a time when he'd loathed to be labeled defective. (I mean, who wouldn't?) But sometimes when he's around the rest of his brothers for extended periods of time (Domino Squad not included), he can't help but feel a little out of place. Once, when CF99 had joined them for a brief mission, he'd escorted them to the mess hall in utter silence – which is not in his nature. Their Sergeant, Hunter, had noticed him slip away from the group and asked where he was going. "What do you mean?" Was all he could think to ask. "Eat with us!" The tallest one, Wrecker he'd heard him call himself, interrupted, "You're defective like us, aren't you?" The chuckle in his tone almost made Cutup forget about the fresh red webbing of scar tissue across the side of the other clone's skull. Since then, he's been dreaming of getting assigned to a mission with CF99; ideally with the rest of Domino Squad along for the ride. It just wouldn't be right without them by his side.

Loves giving and receiving gifts. The object in question doesn't have to be of much monetary value – or any at all, actually. It's more about the fact someone thought of him when they saw it. That they've gone even further to pick it up and bring it back to him means the world and then some. Although he doesn't have much space to store or display anything too large, he's just as grateful and excited to appreciate the trinket (sometimes an extra smooth pebble, other times a rusted peace of metal from who knows what abandoned machinery) before propping it up to glint in the sun or burying it shallowly in the dirt. He likes to think that perhaps he might return to it one day, after the war, when he has more space to call his own.

In terms of giving, Cutup's extremely thoughtful if not a little mischievous by nature. Once, he stole Droidbait's blaster and cleaned the whole thing without being asked too. When he started to hear his brother getting worried that the weapon couldn't be located, he kept the thing hidden to make the surprise more... well, surprising. He got a good shove to the shoulder when he finally revealed that he'd had it the whole time, but a warm smile quickly followed as Droidbait noticed the work that'd been done on it. He's done the same with a helmet or two... When the opportunity arises, Cutup will sneak a couple extra bacta patches while Kix has his back turned, and he'll hand them out to his squad as needed.

S/o to @harmless--dreamer for the inspo to write more Domino Squad and CF99 together. Hope this satisfies the itch a little for now ((: