#the holidays stress me out

[the-traveling-poet]

haven’t posted in like a week so hellooo i’m not physically dead, just mentally!

but don’t worry! between receiving hate speeches and medical scares, i’ve found some time to write! :)

[goatpaste]

I know a sorta made a small post along these lines the other day, but something a lil more official of!!

im kinda broke rn, between the recent stuff with losing my car and having to get a new one and work literally scheduling me 13 hrs a week. Im slowly losing money and it got really bad this month after paying my bills and everything and realizing I had just 300 bucks in my bank account.

My current job hasn't been working with me to give me the hours i need to make a living wage and iv been trying to get a new job for months with no success and it's looking like i could really use a lil extra support via online commission work rn until I can land a more solid paying job. I really hate to sound like a desperate wet cardboard box beast but I still need to insure my new car and cant afford it as i stand right now.

I wont ask for donations, I think im going to be fine, but a lil money to help keep my head above the water would be great so im just gonna promo my commission work. To anyone who can commission me in some way or another would be awesome! I appreciate any support I can get rn even just a reblog

My Commission Info

My Kofi

My Etsy

My Toyhouse

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[kiddokori]

eunyung baek goes off the grid in their mid twenties and haejoons like guys hes fine he’s unreachable all the time he’s probably on an impulse trip to europe or some crazy shit hes fine he’ll reach out he always does while at the same time frantically stalking all his socials to figure out where the hell eunyung went and calling people and getting with private investigators and then eunyung messages the group chat out of nowhere one day like “heyyyy im in france lmaoo sorry my phone died and i couldnt find the right charger in stores (˶◕‿◕˶✿)” and then haejoon puts a bounty on his head

[crabsnpersimmons]

Happy lunar new year! 🐉

i've been busy and feeling under the weather lately so i haven't been drawing much, so here's a short video of what i HAVE accomplished lately:

[ID: A video of a toy brick music box in the shape of a potted mandarin tree decorated with tags and lanterns for the lunar new year. As the tune plays, the mandarin tree in the centre rotates. In the background is my Sun nightlight, glowing next to the music box.]

[yashley]

"She's so charmin', y'know! She's just so--"

[mccleans]

i've gone to sleep angry and woken up angry every day since last saturday

[yumesei]

Re-reading those cute f/os anon because my day is terrible T-T

[laurelindebear]

Saturday nights have been D&D/TTRPG night for...a long long time now. But at the moment I'm not taking part, and it feels...weird, and sad. My group is still going, but about a month ago, before we went on our trip away, the session ended with something of a falling out and it brought to a head all the problems that have been building up for me for awhile. Rant and just...being sad below.

The group consists of 7-8 people: myself, my husband, his brother (and sometimes sister in law), and four of our friends. Husband and brother in law normally take turns DMing. They're both pretty good DMs, but we use a lot of homebrew and allow a lot of stuff that isn't in the rules, and power creep has become a real thing.

Main problem I have is that at this point, three of the (currently) seven people are actively harming the fun for me. One of the people is husband's oldest friend and they used to be closer but they don't have so much in common now. They have always been annoying (eg calling us on the phone every single day when we first got married, before always-online services). Despite having played TTRPGs for decades, they never remember what their spells or abilities do, whether we're playing, what time we start, etc. They and they alone have trouble with the dice room (somewhat conveniently - we swapped to using a room with dice rollers years ago in part because we simply didn't believe their actual rolls with physical dice (we're playing on voice, not in person) - they're also a habitual liar about pointless things like that. Maybe most annoying is that they are always playing another game at the same time (usually World of Warcraft), and not something that's easy to tab out of, or which only uses half your brain. I level fishing etc while playing a lot, because it's so boring otherwise, but it doesn't take my attention. But because of this, they are only ever half-aware of what's going on, at best. They get bored of their characters before the end of every campaign, without fail, and often have them get killed off/reroll in stupid ways because they think its funny.

Person two is a friend who is just kind of obsessed with finding ways to 'break' and game the system to make their character overpowered. At the end of a previous campaign they decided they were going to one-shot kill the ultimate big bad by summoning a herd of...oxen or something way above the guy's head and dropping them on him for massive damage, because it was funny. It only half-worked, partly because the DM wasn't keen on having the final battle go that way, I think, but you get the idea. This time they're trying a multiclass build specifically to do ludicrous amounts of damage every fight, which works because of the way we handle short and long rests and healing. Then there's the fact that all their characters are super greedy and have to loot everything, even when it's detrimental to the party; and that their go-to special thing to do to anyone they don't like or anyone we need to question is to shove stuff up the person's butthole. (They also enjoy being very cold and evilish and acting without consulting the group.)

Person three is my BIL who I've talked about before. Sometimes we get on ok. But we have very different values and we can clash a lot. He's borderline obsessed with the military and military loyalty, and he's actively proud and defensive of British colonialism. (!!!!) He also is very precious about male gaze, and criticism thereof, to the point of acting very personally offended and harmed by how 'women on television/ in films/ in games can't have big boobs now.' In this campaign he's been very metagamey, where no matter what we encounter (we're jumping between universes) he knows exactly who and what everything is and doesn't hesitate to explain it all to us. He may have encyclopedic knowledge of all TTRPG systems and critters, but his character absolutely wouldn't. He's also very bossy; he gets cross if he feels he's the only one putting forward plans and strategy, but as often as not when anyone does suggest a plan, he immediately jumps in to say how terrible it is and why it won't work - even if it will. He's loud and can be aggressive and I'm pretty shit at assertiveness, although sometimes if my husband is DMing he'll actually tell me, off mic, that my plan/idea is a good one and to keep going with it regardless of BIL's dismissals. In this last campaign especially, he's been obsessive about sex and boobs and everyone in the party getting laid every adventure, when that's really not what most of us are about.

Anyway, the last game I played turned into a mess because we got transported to your typical 'warworld coliseum battle royale' type world run by a super powerful wizard or lich or something. We were fighting some of the guy's minions and doing ok, but Powergamer decided it was too dangerous and taking too long so he tried to attack the big boss, despite hints from the DM (husband) that it wasn't a great plan. As a result we all got Meteor Swarm-ed and Doesn't Pay Attention died (again).

As we were in the process of escaping, I had a wild thought to try to pickpocket the boss, or maybe sneak something from his balcony while he wasn't there - I was playing a rogue and my stealth and sleight of hand were very good. I mention this in just a thinking out loud way, and get screamed at by BIL because 'THIS IS A LEVEL 36 MAGE CASTING LEVEL 18 FIREBALLS, OF COURSE HE'LL BE ABLE TO SEE INVISIBLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING' etc etc. Somehow when other players do something bonkers and risky - say, diving off a zeppelin into a tower window, telefragging a castle, or using a weird demonic artifact to bring a Mecha Joan of Arc back to life, whose programming is essentially to destroy all humanoid life - it's more likely to be taken as funny, or 'haha it's your funeral but do whatever', but for me, no, I'm an idiot and how dare I even think about doing that random thing? Nevermind that neither his character nor anyone else would know what 'level' the bad guy was because that's not how RP works, characters don't have stat books on them! I lost my temper and just said something like 'ok well I try and I'm dead then, forget it', and left the channel, and I haven't been back.

So now I'm without a group, and...it sucks. My husband is sad, and I'm sad. But I don't want my RP games to be all powergaming and sexual assault and celebrations of colonialism and getting shouted at. It's not fun. And it just wasn't fun...but I wish it were. It so often has been. Maybe it will be again. But right now I feel lost and a little bit alone and it's coming at really the worst possible time, with autumn being a historically very shitty time for me and this year with my stress about politics making me both physically and mentally unwell on the daily.

[sugarsnappeases]

WHY do i put a date in my calendar to meet w my friend like a week in advance if she’s then not gonna reply when i ask her what time!!!!!!! i am grrrrrrrr and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa rn

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

Between dnp who is the lazy gay and who is the activity gay?

you’re so real for this because i was waiting for them to tell us their opinions but they left us to contemplate on our own.

my consensus is when they’re at home dan is lazy gay and when they’re on holiday dan is activity gay.

dan is very “i don’t wanna go outside” while also being very into living in the moment and doing everything they can while they can, so it likely depends on the situation.

it’s an important dynamic to develop with a partner (or just anyone you’re in a Pair with)—you encourage each other to do things and also learn how to express when you don’t want to do things.

thanks for the ask friend :)

[calciferstims]

live footage of me 0.3 seconds after I start to really like a new person immediately searching for stim gifs related to them so I can make an imaginary gift stimboard in my head (that will never actually exist)

[miyku]

[tetzoro]

have been sick in bed all day and just got a notification that my food won’t be here for another hour or 2 … T^T

[chiefguideandcentre]

I might sound like a jerk for saying this but I hate when you get mandatorily volunteered to bring some food dish to some event. Like (for my situation) a couple is moving into a new house- so I was already gonna make a candle for them (bc I make candles and I’m not very creative beyond that but it still would have been very nice of me thank you very much) but no, now someone else is all “oh! wouldn’t it be a great idea if everybody made some kind of dish for them!!” Oh great, thanks for volunteering everybody for that, so now you have to make some kind of food or risk being the only one that doesn’t and looking like an a-hole. “Oh but you don’t have to if you don’t want to!” Like no that’s a lie, that’s a set up, bc everybody will be looking down on you if you don’t do this thing. I don’t fucking cook, I don’t bake, I hate doing it, but now I’ve gotta make something or be the a-hole

[mao-likes-2-draw]

shana tova everybody! may you have a sweet new year ^_^