#the hitmans wife bodyguard

[capndragn94]

Entrapta: My baby lesbian, you just signed the adoption papers.

Hordak: The what?

Adora: The adoption papers?

Entrapta: You are now our daughter!

Adora and Hordak: ...

Adora and Hordak: WHAT THE FUCK?!

[crybabycunt]

Enemy agent: You're gonna tell us everything you know.

Yelena: I'm not telling you shit!

(Yelena gets tasered by the agent)

Kate: You can electrocute her all day, it'll only make her angrier.

(the agent moves in on Kate with the taser)

Kate: I, on the other hand, will tell you everything.

Yelena: What? Really?!

[letthewhumpbegin]

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

[doodlinggoat]

so I was watching some movies and the brainrot struck me

[serxndgifites]

below you'll find gifs (sized 268x151) of SALMA HAYEK-PINAULT in various projects. all gifs were made by me and are for roleplaying purposes. she's mexican-lebanese, please cast accordingly and use appropriately! feel free to make into gif icons, add psd coloring, add into edits. please DON'T claim as yours and add to other gif packs. reblogs and likes are appreciated!! enjoy.🫧

Grown Ups 1&2 ┊ one / two

Black Mirror s6ep1 ┊ here

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard ( tw: g*ns&violence&flashing lighs)┊ here

[awesomesauce-n-sassypants]

Sometimes a family isn’t a mom, dad, and baby.

Sometimes it’s a batshit insane conwoman, her hard-to-kill hitman of a husband, and their adopted baby cucaracha bodyguard.

[randomlittleimp]

Watching The Hitman's wife's bodyguard, because of course I did

[alatismeni-theitsa]

So i was watching the movie 'The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard' to pass my time and at the begging of the plot they show an EU meeting where they decide to put sanctions in Greece for some reason and the bad guy of the movie is a Greek wealthyman called..... Aristotelis Papadopoulos (they putted the most recognised Greek names ever) played by Antonio Banderas xd.

And the bad guy decides to spread a virus in all Europe except from Greece to return the country to it's former glory as the center of civilization and i am like....huh???

OMG i remember this!!! 😂😂 Yeah it's bad in many ways but it escaped my commentary because it's an obvious comedic device. The lack of thought makes it better imo 😂

And I mean, if we're practical about it, Aristotelis Papadopoulos is stupid. Greece has sooo many issues even with the money flowing from other countries. (Because our politicians pocket it all and buy villas :)) ) How are things going to get better for us when the entire planet collapses? 😂

[incorrect-hgs]

Aloe: My baby catgirl, you just signed the adoption papers.

Anise: The what?

Olive: The adoption papers?

Aloe: You are now our daughter!

Anise and Olive: ...

Anise and Olive: WHAT THE FUCK?

Source: hitman's wife's bodyguard

^

[rye-views]

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021) dir. Patrick Hughes. 7.3/10

I would not recommend this movie to my friends. I would not rewatch this movie.

omg Umbrella Academy's Luther.

I like the first movie more.

Aristotle is such a dramatic character.

Lmao at the Secret. LOL I don't know anyone who talks like Sonia. Lul at I'm not wearing a sports bra. Morgan Freeman being dad is fun. besides the fact that his character sucks.

My god, mom's death is terrible.

[k-lua]

sexta-feira !

[crybabycunt]

Kate: (looking at opposing agents) Are you two ready to get your freak on?

(the agents look at each other confused)

Kate: That came out wrong. Not together. I mean with us.

Yelena: (now also looking confused) What?

Kate: Wait, that also came out wrong.

Yelena: Let me do the talking.

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

The Hitman's Bodyguard/The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

So my firetv was advertising The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard and since I never saw The Hitman's Bodyguard, I thought what the heck, I'm always in the mood for a Ryan Reynolds film plus I love the bodyguard trope, it's my favorite thing ever, so let's watch both of these films.

The Hitman's Bodyguard is a pretty solid film in my opinion. It was enjoyable in just not a funny comedic and action way that you would expect these types of films to be but also enjoyable as far as story-telling, character development, i enjoyed it.

Now, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, also enjoyable in its own way would have been good if it were not attached to the first film. So little in this movie actually makes sense in conjunction with the first film. Whole parts of the film just seem to have been completely forgotten in this one. From where the characters ended in the first movie to where they're at in the beginning of the second movie, makes very little sense. It's like the writers loosely remembered what happened in the first film and then wrote the sequel just based off of memory. While I was watching this movie, it kind of felt like The Whole Ten Yards (RIP Matthew Perry) in that it's just crazy and ridiculous in the beginning and you don't understand what's going on but then it throws you the curveball at the end that all the craziness was on purpose and part of a con; so I kept waiting for this movie to drop a similar curveball thinking something else must be up to tie this whole thing together. Spoiler alert: it doesn't, it's just crazy (although I did enjoy the aspect of Selma Hayek's character adopting Ryan Reynold's character as hers and Samuel L Jackson's adoptive son, that was funny and kind of adorable and I want to read fanfiction about it).

First movie, is fun but you can also take it seriously. This movie is ridiculous, over the top, crazy kind of fun but not in a way that enriches your experiences with the characters from the first film. It would've been a fun romp if it was its own thing not attached to the first one. But since it is attached to the first one, just lots of things don't make sense in it. But I still had a good time so I'm not mad at it.

[pablolf]

Film Journal

"Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard" by Patrick Hughes

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Clint : what do you mean I’m the most annoying motherfucker on planet earth? How many times have you nearly got me killed?

Kayla : NOT ENOUGH

[kraniumet]

go on