#the highest i saw anyone else get was 42%

[philzokman]

GUYSSS I GOT MY EXAM RESULTS BACK :D

[koolcece22]

Enter Venomgirl

Ch. 24

Miguel’s Pov

I couldn’t breathe. I don’t know why. I was dreaming or if one would call it that, but for me they are normal. I felt like I was choking like I was drowning in a sea of darkness. 

“Miguel wake up!!” 

Miles? I heard his voice

“Miguel wake up, please. some…Shade…”

I tried to wake up but I saw only black in one eye. I look down to see a black liquid sparing across my body I look up to see Miles panicking to wake me up. I trying to figure out what the shock is going on. Till I try to turn my head to see Shade’s tendril wrapping around me and spreading all over my body, Jess, Peter, and 42 try to get them off of me and try to snap Shade out of it. She looks like she is in a trance as her eyes were pure red. Miles was trying to rip her tendril off of me but it clearly not working. I summoned my elbow blade to slice them off of me and quickly got away from Shade. Her tendrils were still aimed at me.

“Peter! Jess! What going on?!” I shouted trying to figure out what going on with Shade and dodging her tendrils at the same time. 

“WE DON’T KNOW!!” Miles said as he dodged the tendril as there now spreading and becoming more violent towards everybody. “I heard Lyla yelling in the room and next thing we know Shade is trying to absorb you! We have been trying to snap her out of it, but nothing working!!” 

“Miles and 42 get ready to shock her!” Jess said as one of the tendrils pinned her on the wall. Peter used his webs to try to wrap them but more kept coming. It is more than usual for a symbiote would have. Shade then turned her head towards me in a creepy way, with her eyes res as she slowly walked towards me.

“Shade! Come, man! I don’t want to shock you again.” Miles said as he and 42 were about to rush in to shock her but her tendrils pinned them on the floor. I had enough and rush at her and pinned her on the ground I figured she wanted me for some reason. And sure enough, all the tendril let go of everyone else but me as they quickly spread on me again. She was trying to take over me, but why?

“Miles! 42! Now!” I said before one tendrils wrapped around my mouth. Both 42 and Miles release shock the highest they can muster up and shock Shade in both her arms.

“ AAAAAAHHHHH!!!” Shade screamed which sounded like a symbiote in pain. She let go of me as she twitched from the pain. I unpin her thinking she snap out of it as her tendrils went into her body.  I looked over to the two Miles and both were shaken up. Both of them hate shocking their allies, Peter helps Jess up, and both confess all this. I was breathing hard trying to get my bearings, I summoned Lyla.

“Lyla, how long was Shade like this?” 

Lyla pops in with a worried look. 

“I don’t know. She went in the room like normal, I just by chance popped in to tell her you were resting here, and the next thing I knew she was in like trance state trying to absorb you.”

“She never did that before, right?” Jess asked Lyla, I was wondering that too. She half symbiote I thought she wouldn’t be capable of doing that. 

“According to the data I gather. No, she shouldn’t. unless she maturing.”

“What ?” we all said at once. What does Lyla mean by Shade maturing?  Symbiotes don’t change or adapt like this? We all heard a groan coming from Shade as she got up and rubbed her head. 

“W-What happened?” she asked, she was surprised to see us. Shade then grabbed her head as her eyes were turning red again telling me she was still not all there. Before anyone could react her eye rolled in the back head and change into silver. Guess Kuro took over.  But her reaction didn’t look right, she was shaking and crawled backward towards the wall.

“Kuro, what going with you and Shade-” Miles was about to walk up to Kuro slowly but he stopped and grabbed 42 who was behind him. Peter grabbed me and tendrils shot out of her body and hit the other side of the wall, stabbing it. Jess, Peter, and Miles’s spider sense went off to tell them to dodge. 

“ Get…away…why…I…why do…wh…” Kuro said as she shook harder. Her eyes kept flicking from purple to silver to red. 

“Leave…Leave… LEAVE!!” Shade roared as her tendril lashed out again we all ran out of the room before the lashing became too much.

“Lyla! Lock down the room so don’t get out.” I command Lyla. Lyla nodded as the red barrier was on the door. If it can hold me when my medicine doesn’t work it should hold her. I hope.

I look at Miles and 42 to see if they're ok. Miles’s arm got stuck making a gash, besides that, they were a bit shaken up from seeing that. Peter and Jess were also ok so I’m glad, at least…Shade won’t feel too bad. 

“Do you think this has something to do with the Compound R that is in her?” Peter asked, I Kind of wish he didn’t say that in front of the kids. 

“What Compound R? Is that something in Shade?” Miles asked, I sighed not wanting any of the kids to know about this. Similar to me and my DNA issues something I wish they didn’t have to deal with. 

“Well, Miles…ugh let's just say. It is a bit different from normal symbiotes.” Peter said trying to explain it but doing it poorly. As usual.

“Look, we're also in the dark on what going on with her. The fact that Lyla said that she is mature. I have a theory that she…might be looking for a host.” 

Everyone's eyes widen at my theory, I  hope I’m wrong on that. I would surely have to look at the data again, for an earth in the year 2023 it almost as advanced as my earth in genetics and DNA slicing deportment. l I need to help her get this under control. Who knows if this can hurt anyone or herself?

~

Shade’s POV

I don’t even know how long I have been in the room and I don’t care it's just safer if I stay in this room. I have no idea what was that all about. It was like I was drowning in a wave that I couldn’t swim out of. The fact that I couldn’t remember what happened made things worse. I can tell from everyone was freaking out and if I didn’t push them away I…I don’t know what I would have done to them. 

“Hey.” 

I looked up as I was hugging my knee and sitting from the far corner of the room with no light. When I looked up, I saw Lyla in front of me. She was the only one who had been checking on me to see if I was ok. At least I can’t hurt her.

“How are you feeling?”

I didn’t answer as put my head back down. Not in the mood to talk to anyone. I can hear her sighing, for an A.I. she really is acting like a real person. 

“So Dr.Andrea and Jess are going to check up on you. I can check your vials from afar, but it is best if she takes a look at you personally. Is that ok?”

I said nothing. I can hear the door being unlocked, I did figure it was locked once they left. I can tell just by the sound of who came into the room. It was Andrea and Jess, they stopped a few meters from me not getting too close. I don’t sense they are afraid of me their heroes they have probably seen worse things than me to be afraid of. But I can tell they are still weary of me.

“How you feeling Miss. Usagi? Andrea asked, I didn’t say anything just grip my knees together. It reminds me of when I was in the labs. How they poke me with stuff and threaten my family if I ever say anything to them about what the scientist did to me. 

“I here to just take your blood to see Carnage was the cause of it and-”

“He not in me anymore” I know he is not in me anymore. I feel like he is gone and this is all me. But I think he did something to me, like opening a door that I didn’t know existed in me. 

Jess steps forward a meter towards me “Shade, please let us help you. We know you weren’t hurting us on purpose. We think you just going through a change in your biology and we want to make sure it is not-

“Kill me? Good. About vucking time.”

I can sense the change in their emotion to more like sadness for me. I don’t need their pity. I hate getting pity.

“Shade, I know you don’t mean that. I can tell you want help. Look, I we seen this before.”

That annoyed me. I move so fast that the two spider-women don’t have time to use their spidey-sense or whatever to dodge my tendril as I pin them on the wall.

“No, you haven’t! Let's face it! I’m a freak compared to those symbiotes you say I am. I freak in my world and I’m a freak here! Haha! I’m starting to think I should start acting like one, right?” maybe I should? It is so much easier. I just don’t care anymore. I don’t even care I starting to look less nice. 

“Maybe, I will show everyone your corpses so maybe then I can finally be the monster that I meant to be.” 

“That's not you,” Andrea said calmly to me. I’m surprised that neither of them are afraid of me right now. I can feel my mouth is more exposed to show off my teeth and my tendrils have their blades out. 

“Look, you're having a bad reaction because you were trying to fuse and you couldn’t.”

“I think she is not in the frame of mind,” Jess said confessing what she talking about. I what they saying? I'm just trying to act like a monster and they are talking like I'm just some moody girl having a bad day?! 

“FINE!! Take my vucking blood!” I said as I grabbed one of my tendrils and pulled it as hard as I could and ripped it off of me too much of the two Spider-women surprise. “Just leave me alone!” I hissed as I unpin them a ran out of the room. I don’t know why, thoughts are so messed up right now. I just want to get away and find my…

‘Host’

“What? I stop running and try to think why I thought that “Kuro was that you”

“ Dude, no! I have been trying to calm you down but all I- I mean all you can think is to ‘find your host’. What the vuck does that even mean?!”

“ You are the one that is supposed to help me with my powers! How the vuck I know!?” 

“Shade? Are you ok?” 

I didn’t notice Miles and 42 was in front of me. Void, I didn’t notice other Spiders around me and all there staring at me. It doesnt help that my bladed tendrils were out. I can see Miles slowly walking up to and 42 wasn’t far behind him. I can sense everyone's weariness and their readiness that if I did something they’ll stop me. 

“ Shade, come on. let's get back to the lab and-” I didn’t hear the rest of what he had to say. I saw the wound Miles had on his arm.

‘Did I do that? no…no…I …host…need to find host…no, I need to get out here…find a host…leave…’

“Shade?” 

The next thing I did was jump out of the building from the window. I quickly used my tendrils to grab on the wall and start climbing up. I’m losing my damn mind! I can’t even think straight. 

I made it on the roof of the building it was nighttime on Miguel’s Earth so It was easier to hide in the shadows. I can hear Spiders searching for me and can hear them alerting each other, telling them to find me and try to capture me. 

‘ Shade, we need to go back. I’m… I’m freaking out.’ I heard Kuro said in my head. her? freaking out? I’m the one who is freaking out?! 

“There you are.” I heard a voice look up to see Miguel with Miles and 42. All three of them have their masks on and I can feel they worry for me. 

‘Host.’

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” I scream at myself trying to get this…whatever this feeling out of my head. WHAT THE VUCK IS GOING ON!?

~

Miles’s POV

“Miguel, what going on with her?” I asked Miguel. Shade is freaking out worse than before. At least she was not in a trance last time but now she is more aware and panicking.

“She going through host withdrawal.” 

I look at Miguel very confess on what he just. “What?”

“He says that since Shade was trying to become Miguel’s uh ‘partner’ and she didn’t fuse. her mind is scrabbling up right now. She freaking out because she lost her host. Didn’t you look at the symbiote files?” 42 pointed out and both he and Miguel looked at me with a disappointed look that didn’t study about villains. What? I have schoolwork to do.

“Anyway, 42. I need you to inject her with this. I’ll distract her since she wants me. And you're the best at stealth.” 

I huffed a bit “Hey! How about me? And isn’t that your injector?” I noted the injector he brought up but the vial was light blue, not the usual green he used. 

“It symbioate synthesizer. I used it before with Shade. It more stronger since we boosted it with her blood so it should snap her out of it. I hope.”  He threw at 42 so he could give the injection, 42 looked at it.

“And if doesn’t work?” he asked 

Miguel sighs “I inject her with my venom. So you two don’t have to deal with shocking her twice in one day.” 

I really hope it works, I hate shocking allies and so does 42. I still feel kind of guilty about shocking Miguel during the train chase. Almost got the dude naked in front of everybody! 

“ Host .” we all turned back to Shade who started to go into a trance-like state again her, eyes were red and cloudy like before and her tendrils were whipping around her but slowly. Miguel unmasked and put his hands out, trying to make himself look more willing to accept her. I backed away from Miguel and so did 42, slowly getting behind her. She was too focused on fusing with Miguel to notice us.

“ Host. stop. I need to. Host .” we can tell Shade is fighting it as she stumbles towards Miguel. It was hard to watch, she had no control of her body. 

“42. Do it now,” I told him. 42 tried to but Shade’s tendrils were still whipping around too fast for him. 

“Not yet!” we both look at Miguel wondering what he talking about. “Once she is near me she should be calm down. Got it!?” we both nodded as Shade had her hands up about to touch Miguel’s hands the moment she did her tendrils quickly spread across Miguel’s body, faster than before.

“Now!” Miguel shouted before he was completely covered. 42 stabbed the injector in Shade’s neck and we saw the blood liquid shot through her body. She gasped for air as her eyes changed back to the normal purple. Her tendrils quickly went back into her body and let go of Miguel who fell on his knees and coughing as he was basically drowning for a moment. Shade also fell on her knees as 42 to pull the injector from Shade’s neck. 

“Shade…Are you with us?” Miguel gasps as looks up. I was going to help Shade up till she swapped my hand away

“Why are you even near me?!” she shouted I was taken aback by that. Then I realized back in the lobby she must have seen my wound that had gotten from the earlier scuffle. I mentally curse myself for not hiding it better. Shade then walked back to the wall and sat, she was still shaken up. 

“Shade, It's just an accident you didn’t mean to hurt me,” I said as I was getting close to her, I’m not afraid of her. I know she is scared and freaking out. Miguel sometimes likes that when he goes into ’spider mode’ but I know it is not on purpose.

“I could have killed you all! I don’t know what that was about. I-I all I could think about is ‘my host’” 

“You were trying to sync for the first time.” We all turn to Miguel gotten up still feeling out of breath. “I must of…been compatible with you for some reason and you were trying to fuse with me.”  Miguel sat near Shade, he kept his distance just to make her feel comfortable since she just got out of her trance. Me and 42 did the same we sat there for a while till Shade could get her bears better. We sat there for a few minutes. 

“Uh, you feeling better?” I asked, her symbiote popping out onto her shoulder in its rabbit form. It also looks shaken up to the point Shade puts her on her lap. Shade pet her which is so weird for us to see.

“Heh, I thought you didn’t like being seen as a cute bunny.” I joked. Kuro growled at me and showed off her sharp teeth, it was kind of off-putting since she looked like a rabbit right now.

“Your lucky I’m not in the mood to kick your ass kick.” She sounds very tired and groggy. Wonder if it's because of the injection? 

“I’m fine Miles, actually feel better than I usually am when I’m…not stable.”  Shade turns to Miguel “What was in that stuff you put in me? Better ask now before it kills me any second now.” 

“No, it won’t.” Miguel pulls up a screen to show DNA and Shade’s blood cells. Weirdly,  her blood is pink. “I was able to quickly create a symbiote synthesizer for you specifically since your DNA is genetically a symbiote compared to a symbiote which is more cellular. It going to take a little while to create a more stable version since I only had like ten seconds to make one before went off to shocking where. Oh, and next time…” Miguel summons a jar with a piece of a symbiote inside. It looked like it was trying to go to Shade, the jar released it and it quickly went back into Shade who wasn’t really fazed by it. “Don’t rip off your tendrils like that.”

“What? I’m used to the pain.” Shade said nonchalantly, I’m getting the feeling she had done that before. 

Miguel sighed “Was there…anything that might have triggered this? How you want me as a host? Lyla and Miles said you just went into the room and saw me sleeping.”

“I saw you…a sleep that all. I was trying to be nice to tell you I’m here to rest and the next I knew I blacked out.” Shade said, we could tell she was holding back some information. “Look, I just go back to the room and you make something stronger for me in the meantime. I also, have apologized to the rest of you guys. And Andrea, Jess, and Peter.” she got up and so did we. Before anyone can say anything we heard a beep from 42’s watch. We turned to him as he looked at the watch and there was a message on it. 

“Huh? I guess I’m heading out earlier. My mom wants to see me.” 42 said I guess his mom chilled out after he got a B on his last test. He did tell me he was here just to let her chill out. “Oh, Shade try not to kill anyone while I’m gone.” 42 said as he opened a portal to head back to his Earth. Shade gave him a sad smirk knowing he didn’t mean it to be so heartless. 

I was about to say something like ‘Really?’ but then my spider sense went off. Hard. I wasn’t the only one. Both Miguel and Shade’s eyes widen.

“42! Get away from the portal!!” Miguel yelled at 42 as red tendrils popped out of the portal and grabbed 42. Both me and Miguel were about to help before Shade’s tendril got us. 

“Shade! Let us go!” I yelled at her. Before she could say anything she was slammed into the wall from something. Soon something also grabbed me. It felt like something was choking me as I grabbed my neck. All four were about to be dragged in. We all quickly we can put on our masks as we were dragged into the portal. 

Once we are across from the other side of the portal. I knew then and there we weren’t on Earth-42. 

“Hehe, I caught a lot of fish this time, or more like two spiders, a wannabe, and the freak.” 

I got up with a groan and looked up trying to see where the hell we were my eyes widened as I saw Hobie, Gwen, and Pavitr pinned on the wall with red slime.  I heard Miguel and Shade groan as they were getting up. 

“Well, I guess I’m going to have some fun.” we turned to see Carnage holding 42 by the neck. If it wasn’t for his suit he would been crushed by the tendril but it not going to hold out for much longer. Carnage looks at us with a sick grin.

“This going to be fun.”

[writingwithciara]

Silent Auction (1) ~Topper Thornton~

summary: Kildare County High School decides to have an auction to save the arts programs. all the students are up for grabs and y/n is purchased by the least likely person. her worst nightmare. her nemesis. someone who doesn’t even attend the school.

word count: 1.4k

pairings: topper x reader, pope x kiara

warnings: fluff, enemies to friends (kinda)

a/n: i was watching zoey 101 and this idea popped into my head.

← previous next →

masterlist

“What’s with the assembly?” Kiara asked as she sat with the pogues sat at the back of the auditorium.

“I heard that someone went missing.” JJ laughed as he leaned over. y/n slapped his chest and pushed him back.

“Shut up, JJ.” she laughed.

“I heard there was a meeting last night and that one of the programs was being cut.” John B informed the group. “I heard it was the drama department.” 

“What? No. That’s entirely unfair.” y/n gasped. “If anything, it should be the History program.” she teased, knowing how much John B loved History class.

“Relax guys. I’m sure it’s neither of those.” Kiara smiled and looked through her phone.

The principal got up on the stage and propped the microphone at her level.

“Good morning staff and students. The purpose of today’s assembly is to discuss the problem we’ve been having with the funding.” she looked down at her notes and continued talking. “It has been brought to my attention that we’ve gone overboard on the budget for this years activities and that we need to cancel a program. At last nights school meeting, your teachers and I put our heads together and figured out what program wasn’t getting as much participants as the others, and therefore, has to be cut out of the budget.”

“It’s totally the arts program.” John B smiled and whispered in y/n’s ear. She slapped his arm as he laughed.

“Shut up, John B.”

“Unfortunately, we will be cutting funding for the arts department.” the principal spoke in a sad tone. Tons of people murmured to the people around them. “I know, I know. It’s a very sad decision but not a lot of students here are really all that interested in the department. I was shocked and thought it would’ve been the History department.” she sighed. “I love the arts program and it pains me to have to see it get taken away, but it’s what needs to be done.” she looked out at the sea of students and teachers. “That will be all. You may now return to your classrooms.” she ended the assembly and walked off-stage.

Y/n and Pope returned to their soon-to-be-cut Art class and sat at their stations. 

“Man, this blows. Just when I get good at art, they cut the program.” Pope sighed and picked up a brush. Their teacher, Mr Marzello, entered the room and sat down at his desk.

“I was not expecting that to happen.” he moped. “With the cuts, this means that this will be our final week together. I will miss you all.” he looked at all 11 of his students. Pope was undoubtedly the favorite, as he was the most improved, with y/n coming in a close 2nd. “Now, for your assignment, I would like you to do a painting that represents you. You can make it as creative, or plain as you wish. This will be your final assignment and will be due at the end of the week.”

“This really sucks.” Pope set his brush down and looked at the canvas in front of him. It was blank, aside from a blue dot sitting in the middle. 

Y/n admired his creativity and looked over at her own canvas. It was a pure white canvas. She couldn’t bring herself to even think about the class, knowing it was going to end. She tapped the brush on the edge as she thought of an idea to save the program. When she got one, she sat up straighter and smiled.

“I know that look.” Pope smiled at his best friend. “You’ve got an idea on how to save the program, don’t you?” As she nodded, both their smiled grew bigger and she told him her idea.

At the end of class, they were the last two to leave, as usual. They approached Mr Marzello’s desk with mischievous looks on their faces. He looked up and was startled.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“We thought of a way we could raise money and save the program.” Pope began.

“And we’re gonna need your help.” y/n finished. She proceeded to tell their teacher everything he needed to hear.

As the final bell for the day rang, Pope and y/n met up with Mr Marzello and they headed into the principal’s office.

“Ms. Nickols, these two lovely students came up with a pretty neat fundraiser idea that may just save the arts programs.” 

“What’s the idea?”

“We have a silent auction.”

“What would we be auctioning?” the principal was in the edge of her seat as the three of them explained it all to her. 

“We’d be auctioning off a bunch of people. All we gotta do is find anyone who’s willing to be bought.”

“Okay. How would the silent auction work, exactly?”

“Easy.” Pope smiled. “We find the participants, and instead of having their pictures on the forms, we assign them all numbers. People can then bid on whatever number they think they’ll want and when the time is up, we sell the participants. They don’t have to be for dates or anything, either. The winners can use them for whatever.”

“That sounds brilliant. But we’ll need at least two supervisors, myself and someone else, for this event and it’s gonna take some planning.”

“I’m willing to be a supervisor and I know these two are already planning it. Look at them. They’re planning it as we speak.” the two adults looked at the teenagers who were whispering to each other.

“Okay. You got yourselves a deal.” the principal smiled and watched the trio exit her office in the happiest of moods.

---------------

4 days later, Pope and y/n had set everything up and they smiled at each other as they watched the auditorium fill up with people.

“I almost forgot.” y/n smiled and handed Pope a piece of paper. “I signed you up for this.”

“What a coincidence, because,” he smiled and gave her a number. “I signed you up too.”

“I bet I’ll get more than you.” she stuck her tongue out and continued signing people in.

“In your dreams, darling.” he chuckled.

After the 3 hours was up, Mr Marzello retrieved all the clipboards and handed them to Ms Nickols.

“Welcome to the first ever Kildare County High Silent Auction.” she greeted the crowd and it was met with tons of cheers. “First up, we have Jasmine Vingras.”

The night went on and it felt like it took forever for them to get through all 42 participants. Pope and y/n looked at each other and smiled.

“This was quite a turn out, tonight. I’m so happy that we’ve raised enough money to save the arts program and have enough let over to put away for next year.” Pope smiled. 

“Yeah. And we’re the last two participants so we’re gonna get a lot more.” y/n replied with a smile.

“And now, the first of our masterminds behind this auction, #43. Mr Pope Heyward.”

“Good luck, Pope.” y/n smiled as he climbed onto the stage.

“This lovely boy was auctioned for,” Mr Marzello looked down at Pope’s clipboard. “Wow. He was auctioned for $1500 to Ms Carrera.” 

Kiara stood up and smiled as he looked at her in shock. he climbed off the stage and walked over to the girl. 

“Why’d you spend so much and how’d you know it was me?” he chuckled.

“Because I like you, dummy. And I figured it was you when I heard you and y/n talking to each other at the beginning of the event.” she blushed.

“I’m glad you bought me.” he smiled and they walked to the side of the stage. 

“Now, time for the final participant of the evening. Ms y/l/n.” Ms Nickols smiled and the crowd clapped as y/n walked up on stage. 

JJ looked at his friends and smirked. “I put a pretty big bid down her sheet. I’m hoping it was enough to get her.

“Ms y/ln was auctioned off for a whopping...” Ms Nickols looked at the clipboard and her eyes widened. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the highest bid ever. The lovely young lady standing on stage with me, earned the school over 10 grand alone. She was auctioned off at a grand total of $15,000 to a Mr....” she squinted and looked at the paper. “Mr Thornton.”

The pogues all looked around the room and when they saw Topper standing and scratching the back of his neck, they were shocked.

Topper Thornton. Enemy to Pogues and Nemesis to y/n herself. This was unbelievable.

tags: 

@spilledtee​​​ @im-a-stranger-thing​ @ameeraaa21​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​ @obxmxybxnk​​ @http-cherries​ @ijustreallylovethem​​ @maggiesrandomness​​ @softstarkey​​ @poguesgold​​ @jjouterbanks​​ 

[cinder-wulf]

Character Questionnaire: Cinder

Player Task 001: Character Development. 

BASICS

1. Height?

I'm 5'7".

2. Eye colour?

...green, though Haruhime called it forest green.

3. Do they need glasses?

I don't. I have a hunter's eyesight.

4. Scars and birthmark?

None.

5. Tattoos and piercings?

None. I was thinking of getting the same tattoos as Haruhime, though. Hers were amazing.

6. Right or left handed?

Both. (He is ambidextrous.)

7. Any disabilities? Physical or mental.

None.

8. Do they have any allergies?

I'm not sure. I got sick after eating crabs once but I did eat a lot of them that one time and I haven't gotten sick from eating crabs since.

9. Favourite colour?

Green. Sometimes red.

10. Typical outfits?

My kannushi clothes. My mentor Ryuki gifted them to me, so they're...nice.

11. Do they wear any makeup?

Nope.

12. What weapon do they use, if any?

I use my ceremonial scimitar, which is basically just a normal scimitar but with the Sai family's special emblem. They're very traditional, you know.

PERSONALITY

13. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic?

I'd say I'm both. (Nope, he's very pessimistic. He only gets optimistic for money.)

14. Are they introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted. (Nope. They were extroverted before but the Sai family tragedy has since turned them introverted. They do get extroverted for money or when drunk but by default they've since been introverted.)

15. What are their pet peeves?

...questions. Lots and lots of them. (Also, anything that smells bad. His senses are heightened somewhat.)

16. What bad habits do they have?

None...of your business. (They can be very moody and antisocial. Their habit of keeping secrets can be terrible as well, especially if it ends up to the detriment of their allies.)

17. Do they have any phobias?

I fear nothing. (He's afraid of spiders, well, getting surprised by them at least, and flying roaches.)

18. How do they display affection?

I don't. (He used to be very touchy and even wrote poetry for Haruhime before. These days, he rarely does, unless it's for money or when he's drunk.)

19. How competitive are they?

Eh, not very. (He is secretly super competitive but only with things like hunting, tracking, basically things that he associates he worth with.)

20. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Nothing. I'm perfect the way I am. (He secretly wants to change his heritage. He sometimes believes that if he wasn't who he was born as, the Sais wouldn't have suffered their tragedy.)

21. Do they have any obscure hobbies or routines?

Nope. (He observes what can only be described as the equivalent of real-world Shinto worship to Melora. He also has a soft spot for incense, tea ceremonies, and for some strange reason, flower decoration.)

BACKSTORY

22. What are the names and ages of their close family members? Parents, siblings, etc.

The Sais, master Ryuki and Haruhime, were my family. Master was old enough to be my father and Haruhime was around my age when we first met. (Cinder never met his real parents, as he was abandoned as a child. He does not know where his parents are if they are even still alive today or if he had any siblings.)

23. Is their family alive and are they still in contact with them?

...no. (The Sais passed away after suffering a tragedy, and his last contact with Ichi, Haruhime's cousin, was three years ago. He has no idea if his biological family is alive, having never met them.)

24. Where are they from? City, nation?

I'm from the far east, where cherry blossoms bloom and snow falls.

25. Did they have a childhood best friend?

Yes. Her name was Haruhime.

26. Have they had any pets?

No. I am usually the pet.

27. Did they grow up rich or poor? What were their living conditions like?

I had to fend for myself growing up when my family abandoned me as a child. That was, until I met the Sais who accepted me as their own. We lived simply, neither rich nor poor, in the service of the Sai family shrine.

28. What is their educational background?

I was mostly taught by the Sais. (He was tutored, basically home-schooled, by the Sais. He is surprisingly very literate and well-versed in magic, which he refers to as his "okurimono," and religion, specifically everything involving Melora.)

29. As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?

I wanted for nothing but to live with the Sais until my last.

30. What advice would they give to their younger self?

...to never leave the Sais' side and protect them at all cost, even if it means your own life. There is nothing else past them, only sorrow and despair.

31. Growing up, were they ever bullied or were they the bully?

Neither. (He was most definitely bullied for being a homeless runt...until the beast within scared his bullies off. Then he was chased away by concerned parents.)

32. Who do they look up to/who is their role model?

Haruhime...and Ryuki. (Cinder didn't just love Haruhime. He actually looked up to her as a role model and saw her as his hero, being everything he wished he could have. Ryuki was more of a father figure to him, having taught him most of what he knows, than a role model, but he does admire his patience and commitment.)

PRESENT

33. Do they currently have a place of residence?

...yes? (Technically, no. He does have a room at Lunacrest, sort of, but he's always scrambling to pay his rent. The only reason he still have it is because the owner takes pity on him after accidentally hearing his story from a drunk Cinder, extending his due date whenever he can. Cinder also often wakes up in random stables, sometimes right outside the gates, after nights of heavy drinking.)

34. What is their most treasured possession?

My kannushi clothes. My ceremonial scimitar. The things that remind me of home and the Sais.

35. What is their drink of choice?

...the Redheaded Harlot. (Deep amber red and thick like blood, this shot is supposed named after a tavern's best lady of the evening. Made from fermented berries, Tree Ent Root, and Deer's blood, the rim of its flagon or glass is usually also coated in honey and dipped in a red sweet powder that is to be licked before pounding down the drink. It is said that all who drink this become very charismatic towards the opposite sex for the entire time the drink is in their system.)

36. Which king/queen are they loyal to, if any?

Whoever will pay me the most, of course. My loyalty is for sale to the highest bidder.

37. Have they ever killed anyone?

... (He has, though he never speaks of such tragedies.)

38. What was their last promise and did they keep it?

... (He promised the dying Haruhime that he would live his life like she did hers, without bitterness and anger. Clearly, he has failed to keep it. He had tried before but he just couldn't keep to it.)

LOVE

39. What was their first kiss like, if they’ve had one?

It was...the best feeling I've ever had. (It was actually pretty brief, as it was an accidental kiss between him and Haruhime. She was trying to surprise him with a peck on the cheek but he turned to look at her, curious at what she was doing.)

40. Are they in a relationship/have a love interest?

... (Haruhime was the love of his life, and he believes he will never love another.)

41. Have they ever been in love?

...yes.

42. Have they ever had their heart broken?

... (Haruhime's untimely passing broke not only his heart but also his spirit. He hasn't been the same since.)

SPIRITUALITY

43. Do they follow a god, if so who?

I follow Melora, though the Sais know her by a different name. I used to know her by a different name as well, but names are less important than what they do.

44. What do they think happens to them after death?

I'll be reunited with the Sais again.

45. What is their spirit animal?

A wolf...or maybe a fox. Both?

[gocatboygo]

1-50 for Sarsaparilla?

ohhh my god skfjskdf sarsaparilla has no development whatsoever this is gonna be a blast and a half

1) which faction did they side with (NCR, legion, yes-man, or house)?

she sided with the legion from the time she saw vulpes in nipton bc Romam Armor Look Cool, cured caesar of his tumor & everything, and then just before the battle of hoover dam, assassinated caesar and sided with yes-man. she realized about halfway through her work for caesar that siding with the legion was never going to pay off and decided to Fool Him TM and then take vegas for herself

2) preferred armor?

OOF probably like… leather armor sdkfjsdk i dont know. she wore the tribal raiding armor at the very beginning of the game. she doesnt wear the legion uniform but i imagine her w some Legion Accessories TM like a mark of caesar on her chest or something

3) melee, guns, energy weapons, or unarmed?

melee babey

4) highest skills? secondary skills? lowest skills?

her highest skills are melee, stealth, and medicine (she polishes that up real nice when she realizes caesar has cancer). secondary skills are explosives and lockpick. lowest skills would have to be barter and survival :/

5) SPECIAL stats?

im just guessing at this point bc i dont remember them skdfjkd but i would say ST:5, PE:6, EN:4, CH:4, IN:6, AG:9, LK:9

6) what are their perks?

black widow, cherchez la femme, friend of the night, cannibal, scrounger, ninja

7) favorite companions? least favorite companions?

literally no one will hang out w her bc she’s legion ksdfjsd. she takes boone as a companion at the very beginning of the game and then she has to kill him. her fave would probably be cass, or raul, who is the Only Mf who will talk to her

8) any romantic partners? how do these relationships begin and end? are they healthy?

she thinks vulpes is hot for 0.2 seconds but she also thinks that about violet, gloria van graff, and some securitrons so i wouldnt worry about it

9) gender / sexuality / ethnicity / species / etc.?

cis female / bi / asian / human ((i just realized all my couriers are cis even though im trans as hell sdkfjsdkfsdj yikes))

10) where were they born/raised? when/why did they leave?

she doesn’t remember anything from b4 the bullet but she’s from new reno. she left because it’s new reno.

11) when, why and how did they become a courier? how long did they remain a courier before benny shot them?

she needed work after she left home and delivering packages didn’t seem terrible. she did it for like 2 years max before she got shot

12) how did the bullet affect them?

took out most of her memories (including her name) and sort of scrambled her good sense. she doesn’t feel very much fear, restraint, or remorse anymore, which is why she’s been doing All This recently

13) how did they deal with benny?

seduced him, slept with him, killed him in his sleep, and took his roomba yes-man

14) what’s their reputation with the ncr / the legion?

the ncr - fucking horrible she can barely go on the strip sdjfskdsd. pile body upon body babey. / the legion - superb. sparkling. if she weren’t a woman they’d even stop insulting her

15) what do the people in freeside think of them? the followers, the kings, the garrets, the van graffs?

the followers aren’t a fan of her because of all that legion business. the kings like her because she takes care of rex. the garrets generally dislike her. the van graffs like her a lot because she let them kill cass & did all their quests

16) what’s their reputation with goodsprings / novac / primm? (i know primm reputation was cut from the game but like let’s pretend for a minute sdkfjd)

goodsprings: bad bc she sided with the powder gangers kdsfjs / novac: she did come fly with me so its lookin alright! / primm: very mixed bc she’s pro-powder ganger but she also got them a new sheriff (meyer) 

17) what’s their reputation with the khans / the brotherhood / the boomers / the powder gangers?

the khans: she’s a Legion Ambassador… a shining monument of their new allies… Excellent and yet they know fuckall about her / bos: well she did blow up that whole bunker. / boomers: i dont remember / powder gangers: as i mentioned before she sided with them at goodsprings and made meyer a sheriff so they like her a lot. boxcars is happy to see her

18) what do the people on the strip think of them? the omertas, the white gloves, the chairmen, ncr military police, mr. house? do the gamblers like them?

the omertas: she did cachino’s quest so it’s pretty good / white gloves: idolized / chairmen: hey that’s the fink that killed benny / ncrmp: BAD / mr house: well considering the fact that she killed him, not excellent 

19) what is their motive for taking vegas?

literally just ‘she wants to’. the whole point of this courier was that she’s a no rules run, she’s lost a lot after the bullet scrambled her brain and she’s literally just doing whatever she wants to do

20) do they have a theme song?

no :(

21) what do they look like? how tall are they? are they attractive? any piercings, tattoos, scars?

she has black hair in the “blast back” style. pretty short, like 5′4″. no piercings or tattoos (but she probably gets a legion brand at some point w like the mars symbol or something). there’s of course a bullet scar on her head, and a few around her arms and torso.  

22) how old are they? do they know their birthday? if so, what’s their sign?

she’s in her early-mid twenties, very young. im not sure if she remembers her bday (probs not) but she’s a Sagittarius 

23) do they speak any languages other than english?

god no. she doesnt even try to learn latin jhjhkjgfkj she pronounces all of it wrong and caesar’s like please shut up,

24) can they read, write, do math, sing? did they ever receive an education?

she went to school in new reno so she can do all that. maybe not sing.

25) what were their parents like? are they still on good terms with their parents?

i honestly havent given it much thought. her parents were probably Just Okay TM. she doesn’t remember them.

26) what’s their d&d alignment? (bolded bc i really like that one ksdjfksd)

chaotic neutral, leaning into chaotic evil.

27) how’s their karma?

not great

28) how do they feel about killing people? do they try to avoid it?

like i said, the bullet messed w her remorse a lot, so it doesn’t particularly bother her anymore.

29) do they take chems? if yes, when and which ones?

yes, sometimes! usually mentats, buffout, med-x, or psycho.

30) do they gamble? where? is their luck good?

she likes to gamble. usually at the ultra-luxe. her luck is pretty good!

31) where do they usually sleep? do they have more than one home location? do they live with any other people?

she usually stays in the lucky 38, in her hotel room in novac, or in the tent Big C TM hooked her up with at the fort. if it comes to it she’ll sleep in the ncrcf. no one else really lives in her 38 save for the securitrons

32) what are their favorite weapons? where did they get these weapons?

her caesar’s fall collection legion-brand machete babeyyyy, one n only! she’ll also use a pistol (a light shining in darkness most of the time since u know she sides w joshua graham) or a police baton if that’s appropriate

33) do they flirt a lot? is it well-received?

yes she does and no it isnt! she licked vulpes. just. right on his visibly ugly face. one time she tried to climb yes-man

34) do they goof around a lot? do other people find it funny or do they just entertain themselves?

once again yes she does and no they do not! she’s doin it all for her, baby. chaotic neutral here we go

35) what do their companions think of them? are they close? have they done any companion quests?

the companions,, obviously dont think very well of her most of the time bc she’s legion. cass thinks she’s a Real Wild Card and respects her for that at first. raul doesn’t like her very much but he’ll still travel with her from time to time just to see what she Does TM.

36) why did you create them?

i wanted to do a no rules run! like i thought it would be cool to just. do the craziest things i could think of in fnv and do it all with one courier. and thus sarsaparilla was born

37) do they draw, paint, play any instruments?

hell no

38) how do they deal with injuries? do they use stimpaks, healing powder, med-x? does a companion help them? can they bear a lot of pain, or do they need to attend to injuries immediately? when they do have to see a doctor, do they have a preferred doctor, or do they just see anyone?

she uses all 3 depending on how bad the wound is. for minor wounds she uses healing powder because she has an abundance of it from the legion, but since she has fairly low endurance she often just has to use stimpaks & med-x. she’s not very tolerant to pain all of the time? but if she has a lot of adrenaline (which she comes by very easily) she can all but ignore it entirely. she doesnt have a preferred doctor

39) have they ever been irradiated? how did they deal with it? did it have lasting effects?

probably a few times but she just threw up and then took a bunch of rad-away and ended up fine. she’s never been damaged by radiation permanently 

40) in conversation, are they kind? gentle? sarcastic? rude? do they speak warmly and openly with people, or are they more guarded? do they talk a lot?

she’s somewhat talkative, she mostly says whatever pops into her head whenever it comes to mind so her talking is just. a big mess of Thoughts She Had. she likes making a lot of jokes that are mostly for her

41) do they like long journeys through the mojave, or do they prefer to travel more quickly? do they prefer using roads or travelling through the deep desert?

she likes to travel quickly. no time to waste! she’s almost always using the roads

42) name a random fact about your courier.

she thinks it’s really funny to blow vulpes’s cover whenever she sees him undercover on the strip & she almost gets killed every single time. oh holy shit it’s vulpes! vulpes inculta! spelled v-u-l-p– oh my god its the ncr mp quick vulpes take your dick out in this gift shop

43) do they watch movie holotapes? what are their favorites? least favorites?

yes but shes literally only seen blazing saddles, gladiator, and we bought a zoo

44) what do they do with the lucky 38? do they like being there? do they leave their companions there? if they’re a yes-man courier, do they open it back up as a casino?

she doesn’t leave companions there too often, like i said. she likes it pretty well bc of the robots and the hot water? but i think that she really prefers staying in hotels except for special occasions. she doesnt open it back up bc yes-man kills her sldkfjds great transition 

45) what do they do after hoover dam?

yes-man says fuck work and just absolutely murders her. hes like ok enough of this and finds a new human to do what he needs done skdfjksd

46) how do they die? how is their death received, by the mojave and by their companions?

yes-man fucking KILLS her ass! the mojave takes a great big breath of relief knowing they wont have to watch her shenanigans anymore skdjfds

47) what are their vices? are they an alcoholic, a thief, a hoarder?

oh boy literally all of them. she definitely steals a lot but thats literally just. a part of her “do whatever you want” complex that Is TM her greatest vice

48) can they cook, and if so, what do they cook? what are their favorite & least favorite foods?

she absolutely cannot. she likes pizza from the tops dskfjkds

49) did they kill caesar? vulpes inculta? what about prominent ncr figures, like kimball and colonel hsu?

yes she did kill caesar! her securitrons killed vulpes at hoover dam and she was power-tripping so hard she didn’t realize they’d already gotten to him. she probably didnt think about him again before she died. she didnt assassinate kimball herself but she definitely assisted in making the assassination go smoothly, and im sure her robots got to hsu sometime before she had yes-man throw oliver off the dam skdjfskd

50) what’s their happiest memory?

not to be fake deep but all this shit she does obviously causes more adrenaline than happiness. you could say that it’s when yes-man threw oliver off the dam, because that was her most exhilarating moment, or you could say that it was when she woke up in goodsprings, because it was the last time she was calm and being taken care of.

—

thank u so much if u read all this and thank you for sending me this ask. it took a long time but its a good exercise like i said skdfjsdf. send me more if these if yall have the heart, maybe not a whole 1-50 but like ! & please reblog my fnv courier questions post because i do think its nice, bye

[astarkey]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better (or don’t it’s up to you!)

tagged by @alwaysupatnight Thank you lovely!!! 😁💖

Nickname(s): Ash

Gender: Female

Sign: Taurus

Height: 5’6

Time: 6:42 PM EST

Fav band(s): Silverchair, Deftones, Soundgarden, Incubus, Nine Inch Nails, Alice in Chains, Warpaint, Sneaker Pimps, Radiohead, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Drain STH, Pearl Jam, Nothing But Thieves, etc.

Fav solo artist(s): Aaliyah, Jeff Buckley, Banks, Jhené Aiko, Sabrina Claudio, Natalie Imbruglia, Utada Hikaru, Sade, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Sarah McLachlan, Chelsea Wolfe, Whitney Houston, Toni Braxton, etc.

Song stuck in my head: Eighties by Killing Joke

Last movie I saw: From Dusk Till Dawn

Last show I watched: Married… With Children

When did I create my blog: February 2012

What do I post: Music, tv shows, movies, video games, anime, art, basically anything I like (it’s a HUGE mess lol)

Last thing I Googled: styrial bluefin tuna (I’m trying to catch a fish in Final Fantasy XV haha)

Do I have any other blogs: My Silverchair fanfic blog, but sadly, that’s been inactive for a while.

Do I get asks: Yeah, but rarely.

Why did I chose my URL: I wanted my blog to be personal and my URL to be original, so I just used my name and rearranged them.

Following: 381

Followed by: 975

Average hours of Sleep: 7-8 Hours

Lucky number: 1, 7, or 9

Instruments: Piano, guitar, drums (I’m not the best at all of them since I’m still learning, but I can play some pretty cool tunes on the guitar lol :p)

What I am wearing: A black t-shirt that says “LOVE” on the front in pink, and my high school blue mesh shorts.

Dream job: Animator and musician (but animation is what I’m already doing, so that’s 1 out of 2 that came true lol.)

Dream trip: California or somewhere on the west coast, Australia, Japan, Canada, and France

Fav food: Mac & Cheese all the way!

Nationality: American

Fav song: I have WAY too many favorites, so I’m just gonna name a song that’s currently my favorite haha. Caught a Lite Sneeze by Tori Amos

Last book I read: I have no idea, I think it was probably A Yellow Raft in Blue Water by Michael Dorris (I haven’t picked up a book in a while as you can tell lmao)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Harry Potter for sure haha, Cowboy Bebop, and Final Fantasy

I tag: @obsessivecompulsivee, @wishfulthinkingandfantasy, @msdeathhouse, @clarkebell, @eizagonzalezs, @grmy, @diivasataniica, @divinequeer, @punkrockromantic, @ambrosiaswhispers, @quaeveritaserum, @bloodychamber, @exhaustedmaddie, @sarahandrelouise, @wandering-around-the-world8, @maikmakridi, @the-highest-most-exalted-one, @davegahanarchive, @margaretophelia, @famousflowermagazine, @canarydown, @sowhatelseisblu, @dream-land-l, @mothdecay, @grantcary, and anyone else who wants to do this! (But everybody I’ve tagged don’t have to do this! 😊)

[leaves-of-three]

Day Three || Fucking Weird

Connor Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 2224

Summary: Reader runs into Connor during a vulnerable night.  [This is part of an in progress series. You can follow along here.]

Warnings: Talk/Mention of a deceased parent (mother). Mention of OCD/Compulsive Counting. Mention of drugs (pills) which could potentially hint at suicidal tenancies in the future. For now they’re just simply mentioned. If anyone ever wants something added to a warnings list, please don’t hesitate to ask. <3

Connor Murphy. It was the one name that continued to bounce around your brain as you stared up at your dark ceiling. Glow stars, plastered across the roof from your childhood, gazed back down at you. On nights when you couldn’t sleep you would count the glowing stickers above. When you were seven, there had been 65. You remembered that number because you would count them every single night. It had become almost an obsessive part of your nighttime routine. At seven, your mom had passed away. That was when your obsessive behaviors started to really become more present in your life. You liked to count things. The number of stairs, the titles covering a floor, objects on a desk, telephone poles lining the street, the amount of steps it took from your bedroom to the bathroom...anything. Knowing the number of things calmed you. It distracted you from your own thoughts whenever they got too loud. 23 stars. There were 23 green, glowing stars above your head now. Some had fallen off over the years. The passing of time would claim all of them eventually. Time was no match for cheap, factory stickers. 42 stars fallen over the course of ten years. Everything falls eventually. 

Connor hadn’t been at school today. It was only the third day. Three days. One, two, three. It couldn’t have been your fault, right? The look on his face when he saw you sitting with Evan yesterday was still burned into your memory. He seemed so...betrayed. He wasn’t your friend. You two were not friends. You had to stop overthinking everything. You needed to stop obsessing over this. Were you so desperate for a human connection that you would latch onto the first person who showed you an ounce of kindness? Let it go. Let him go. Leave the poor guy alone. His actions were not a reflection of anything you did. He was not your friend. Connor Murphy was not your friend. 

Evan, however, had the potential to be something real. After you two had shared lunch, you realized you also shared the same Photography and AP Physics courses in the afternoons. He had been nice enough to fill you in on everything you missed from skipping class on the first day. He was nice. You signed his cast. It wasn’t perfect, he was a little awkward, but you needed a friend. He needed one too. It seemed to just work. Why was it that the rejected, left behind people always seemed to find their way to each other? Like magnets being pulled together. An invisible force making sure no one is ever left alone for too long. What did that make Connor then? Was he alone? Maybe your magnets were too similar that they ended up repelling instead of attracting...

A hard bit of plastic hit your forehead causing you to flinch in surprise. A single glowing star slid down your face and settled onto your chest. The old sticky tack on the back finally giving up. Twenty-two. You exhaled a lungful of air and rolled onto your side. The red lights of your alarm clock on the bedside table read 3:07 am. You had to wake up in less than three hours for school. You shoved your face into your pillow and let out a stifled scream. Sleep was not going to happen tonight. The bedroom walls felt like they were closing in on you. You pushed away the anxiety of not being able to sleep and got out of bed. This house was too small. You needed open space. Fresh air. 

An over-sized hoodie, leggings, and a pair of old boots complimented your messy, unkempt, bedhead hair as you slipped out your front door. Your father wouldn’t notice you were gone. He never did. The chilly, wet night air filled your lungs. It had rained all night. Now the dark sky just spit out droplets of water at a more scattered pace. Your car rumbled to life with the turn of a key. The wipers jumped awake, flinging off the dotted layer of collected rain and wet leaves onto the driveway. You backed out and headed into the night. There was nothing more beautiful to you than driving alone in the dark with only the headlights to illuminate the way. You knew exactly where you were headed. No matter what roads you took, you always ended up at the same place. Everywhere lead to somewhere. And your somewhere was the lake. 

Cracked Rock Lake was a destination spot for your town in the summer. It was a moderate sized body of water, good for swimming in the summer, fishing in the fall, and ice skating in the winter. It’s name was born from the large boulder jutting out of the water a few yards out. The rock formation had a deep groove splitting it down the middle. Kids would always use the crack to climb up to the top and jump off. Your mom used to bring you here when you were young. It was the last place the two of you had gone the weekend before she passed. It was one of your last happy memories as a kid. It would seem silly to say out loud but you liked to imagine your mother still lived on in the soul of the lake. You like to talk to her there when no one else was around.

An hour passed before you arrived. You had decided to drive down every back road you could find to delay your arrival. The silence in the car felt as familiar as a warm blanket and you didn’t want to give that up right away. A few porch lamps from surrounding houses danced light over the still, gloomy waters. A thin layer of mist inched across the sand blurring the line where the water met the beach. For a few more moments, you remained inside your car, staring out into the view. You were afraid that if you left the safety of your car that you might walk straight into the murky depths and never return. Eventually you braved the unknown and left your vehicle behind. 

The rain had fully stopped now but you could still smell it lingering in the air as you walked over the pale sand. A small playground sat on the far right of the beach. It was nothing more than three swings, a metal slide, and a set of straight monkey bars but it was enough to entertain the children who visited the lake. At 4 in the morning, the playground would be all yours. You took a seat on the leftmost swing and rocked yourself back and forth. Your eyes closed as you allowed yourself to listen to each little noise. The lapping water, the creaking of rusty swing chains, your own shallow breaths...

“Hey, mom.” Your voice was nothing higher than a whisper. “I really miss you. This month really sucks. I wish you were here. I wish I could still talk to you...” 

The sound of a lighter clicking on caused you to snap your eyes wide open in fear. A flickering flame illuminated the end of a cigarette as it gave off a faint glow. Someone was sitting under the slide directly to your right. Your hands gripped tighter onto the chains of the swing. They had to have know you were there. They would have heard you talking. You weren’t alone. Shadows cast whoever was hiding into a cloak of darkness. Only the red circular glow broke through the black. It wasn’t until a hand lifted the cigarette to their lips did the light reach their face. 

“Connor?” You words fell out in disbelief. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, turning on the flashlight and shining it directly into his face to confirm your statement. 

Sure enough, Connor Murphy sat huddled under the slide, cigarette in hand, squinting away from your light. “What the fuck, Y/N? Get that shit out of my face.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” you said as you dropped the light. A moment of silence passed before you spoke again, unsure of what to say. “...Why are you here?”

“I was here first. I could ask you the same damn question. Leave me alone.” He spit the words out at you. Your presence was obviously aggravating him. You tried not to let it phase you too much. 

You gently nibbled on your bottom lip. “I don’t want to go. It’s a public place. I have every right to be here just as much as you.”

You heard him growl in frustration as a response. A second later, something flew past your head, narrowly missing you, and rolled onto the soft ground. It sounded like a bunch of tiny pebbles stuffed into a plastic cup. In the moonlight, you could see a small, orange pill bottle sticking out of the sand. It was filled with an assortment of oval drugs. You glanced from the pills to the dark slide. “My three year old cousin likes to throw things when he has a temper tantrum too.”

His response was fairly predictable. A simple, “Fuck you.” 

You felt the corners of your mouth twitch into a smile. He wasn’t pleased you were here but he wasn’t leaving and neither were you. You walked your swing backwards until your feet could hardly touch the ground anymore then let yourself swing forwards. Wind blew through your hair the higher you pushed yourself. “Did you ever have that dream as a kid that one day you could swing all the way around the bar? Its pretty much impossible, especially with a slack chain. Still, kid’s never seem to stop trying.” He didn’t reply. You hadn’t expected him to. 

You pumped yourself up as high as the sing would allow. The moment you hit the highest spot forward, you let your butt slip off the rubber and you soared feet first through the air. You were airborne for hardly a full second before you hit the ground. Your legs gave out under you and rolled across the soft sand before settling on your back to look up at the stars. Your chest rose and fell with adrenaline. From the corner of your eye, you saw Connor poke his head out from under the slide. His cigarette held limply between his lips as he cocked an eyebrow at you, shaking his head. “You’re fucking weird,” he mumbled before going back into hiding. 

You stayed on your back, looking up at the world above. There weren’t too many stars to be found. The cloudy, rainy night had blocked most of them from view. Only the brightest of the bright were able to poke their way through. You followed them with your finger and invisibly connected the dots. You counted them as you did. One, two, three, four, five...the more you looked, the more stars began to appear to you. It was so much more beautiful than your bedroom ceiling. You eventually rolled onto your side, facing the lake with your back to Connor. He had stayed quiet and hidden from view anyway. His company didn’t pose a threat to yours though. It seemed you could both inhabit the same space without needing to interact. Your eyes floated across the water until they began to get heavy. Each time you blinked, your eyes would take longer to open back up again. At some point you decided just keep them closed.

The harsh sound of a car horn jerked you awake. Sun flooded your eyes and you groaned, turning to hide your face into your pillow. Instead of the expectancy off a soft pillow, you got a face full of sand. You sputtered and sat up, looking around. Confusion plastered your expression.

Lake. You were at the Cracked Rock Lake. The events of last night came back to you as the sleep was blown away with a soft breeze. Connor had been here too. You looked behind you, back to the slide. In the light of day it was easy to see that he was no longer under there. You turned to your other side and there he was. 

He was sitting an arms length away, his shoes planted in the sand, staring out at the water with hollow eyes ringed with dark circles. In his hand was the pill bottle he had thrown at you at some point last night. His thumb flicked the white cap open and shut. For the first time you noticed his nails were painted with chipped black polish. You focused in on his hands, tranced by the repetitive movements between the cap and his thumb. His skin was pale and his fingers were long and skinny. Piano hands. That’s what your mom would have called them. 

One, flick up, two, flick down, three, flick up, four, flick down, five, flick up, six, flick down. You waited for seven but it never came. His hand closed around the pill bottle and you realized he was staring at you. You blinked up to meet his gaze. It occurred to you that maybe the reason he hadn’t left yet was because of you. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to leave you alone on the beach in middle of the night. Maybe Connor Murphy was your friend. 

“...Do you want to get breakfast?”

A minuscule smile cracked his stony expression. 

[orange-in-the-overcast]

All the hcs for the good knife boy

1. How does your muse feel about seafood?

Not a fan of seafood, though he’s never tried much of it, to be fair.

2. What is their favorite piece of technology?

His new rad as fuck lightsaber.

3. When did they lose their virginity?

He hasn’t yet.

4. Was there anything their parents pushed them to do? (e.g. sports, theatre, band)

Nah, Castor’s dads were happy to let him do his own thing and pursue any interests he pleased. They did encourage him to learn to defend himself, as that’s just a useful skill, but otherwise he made his own decisions.

5. Describe your muse’s worst nightmare.

Finding out his fathers are dead, and then proceeding to lose everyone else he cares about, one after another.

6. What is a deal-breaker when it comes to dating someone?

Cheating on him, most likely. Castor’s always had trust issues, so breaking his trust like that would be unforgivable.

7. What was the most embarrassing moment in your muse’s life?

I believe I’ve told the story of his most embarrassing before, so I’ll give his second-most embarrassing. When he was about twelve, he and Polly were playing in one of the big trees near their home, and they decided to have a little competition to see who could reach the top fastest. Castor had the upper hand the whole time, being such an athletic kid, and it looked like he was going to win— until he slipped off a branch. His jacket got caught on the way down, which saved him from falling, but also meant he was stuck dangling halfway up the tree while Polly ran to get help from their parents. Xavier laughed the entire time he was getting Castor down.

8. What keeps your muse up at night?

What ifs. What if he never finds his dads? What if he does find them, and they’re already dead? What if Percy never forgives him? What if Percy does forgive him? What if someone else he loves gets hurt?

9. What chronic illnesses does your muse have, if any?

If chronic mental illnesses count, then depression and some mild ptsd.

10. Does your muse get carsick?

Nah he’s good, doesn’t really get motion sickness.

11. Does your muse wear glasses/contacts?

His kind adopted sister Val had to buy him glasses because everyone realized he was blind as fuck except for him.

12. What are some warning signs that your muse is getting depressed?

The walls go way, way up when he’s upset. He’ll shut down and refuse to talk to anyone, and he’s much more likely to snap at someone if they try. It’s also very likely that he’ll have a bottle of some sort of alcohol in his hand.

13. What is your muse’s favorite candy?

He’s never really had much access to candy until recently, but he’s discovered he’s a fan of Snickers.

14. Does your muse have a “victory song” and if so, what is it?

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. He loves those old Earth jams.

15. Who do they tend to bicker with the most?

Icio, no contest. He does care about them, though, underneath all the prickles.

16. Has your muse ever been hospitalized or institutionalized?

A few times, yeah. You don’t grow up the way Castor did without breaking a few bones.

17. Does your muse pray, whether it be to a god or some other force?

Nope, not at all. He doesn’t put any stock in matters of faith.

18. Has your muse ever lived in poverty?

Pretty much his whole life has been in poverty.

19. Do they have any distinct voice mannerisms? (e.g. saying ‘like’ or ‘um’ a lot, stutters)

If cursing an absurd amount counts, then he does that. He also tends to stutter when he’s under pressure or doesn’t know how to word something.

20. Where are your muse’s ancestors from? Do they keep any of their traditions?

Castor doesn’t actually know anything about his ancestors by blood. The only family line he’s aware of comes from his dads, and even then he never got to meet his grandparents on either side. They were nice people, from what he’s heard, though Xavier’s parents tended to be a little rowdy.

21. When did your muse learn about sex?

He’s known about it from the time he was about eight or nine. His dads never shied away from teaching him that kind of stuff, though they didn’t get into detail about any of it until he hit puberty.

22. What is your muse most thankful for?

He’s never said it, but he’ll be forever thankful for Luna picking him up with Icio and Ciri. He’s been given a huge family he never knew he could have, and he needs their support more than he could ever put into words.

23. What shoe size is your muse?

Eight. He’s got feet on the smaller side.

24. Does your muse hate their middle name? \ What is it?

His middle name is Sirius, and he’s rather indifferent to it. Never really comes up.

25. How many hours a day do they spend on the internet/watching TV?

He never really had anything close to the internet or TV growing up, but TV wouldn’t really interest him regardless. He’d probably spend a good chunk of time on the internet, but he prefers actually being out doing things.

26. Does your muse have any trophies?

Not really. He might have to start taking some war trophies from people he defeats though.

27. If your muse was given the opportunity to go sky diving, would they?

Absolutely. Castor’s an adrenaline junkie through and through.

28. What is the most common lie your muse tells themselves?

“Don’t let them in. You’re safer if you keep them at bay. Don’t let them in.”

29. Has your muse ever had a pet? If so, what type?

He’s never really had a pet of his own, but there was a stray dog that he and Polly sort of adopted. It tended to hang around their house, and they played with it and kept it fed when they could.

30. Who was your muse’s first kiss?

Percy, though Castor doesn’t remember it.

31. What is your muse’s first memory?

He has a very distinct memory of a particularly bad thunderstorm from when he was about three. The thunder was so loud it rattled the walls of his house, and as a frightened small child, he was convinced lightning would strike them at any moment. Thankfully his dads were both there to comfort him, and they distracted him with warm food and cuddles under blankets and fun stories. It helped at the time, but he’s been afraid of thunderstorms ever since, and only his dads have ever really been able to comfort him during one.

32. How does your muse feel about crocs?

If he saw them, he would instantly hate them.

33. What are your muse’s biggest pet peeves?

People who eat with their mouth open/smack their lips when they chew, people who’re too nosy, being called short.

34. What was your muse’s happiest birthday?

He doesn’t really have one birthday that stands out for him anymore. They’ve all blended together into “birthdays before” and “birthdays after” his dads were gone. The ones before were all his happiest. The ones after have just reminded him of what he’s lost.

35. Does your muse cross their legs/ankles when they sit?

If he’s sitting with his legs stretched out, he’ll cross his ankles. Otherwise, he sits too weird in chairs to be able to cross anything.

36. What simple task is your muse surprisingly bad at?

Cooking. You’d think after living on his own for a few years, he’d at least learn the basics, but he’s still pretty awful at it.

37. Did your muse ever own a Tamagatchi?

He has no idea what that is, so sadly no.

38. What was your muses’s first job?

Bounty hunting was the first “job” he ever took, though he’s never had what most would probably consider an actual job.

39. Does your muse usually go for truth or dare?

He’s a dare taking kind of boy, especially since he doesn’t like sharing secrets about himself. But he’ll take truth every now and again.

40. Has your muse ever been to a concert?

Never. Concerts weren’t really a big thing on Earth.

41. What is your muse’s favorite holiday?

Candlenights, by far.

42. Does your muse reply to scary chain emails/messages?

He doesn’t have any means of receiving scary emails or messages, but honestly, he’d probably be the idiot to keep sending them along. He’s a conspiracy theorist and fully believes in shit like ghosts, so he wouldn’t want to believe chain mail, but he’d always listen to it anyway just in case.

43. Describe the first person your muse remembers losing.

His dads. They were his entire world, his best friends apart from Polly. He went to them whenever he needed comfort or reassurance or someone to laugh with. They taught him everything he knows, and they gave him a childhood he’ll always cherish, even though the world they lived in wasn’t the kindest. He misses them more than life itself.

44. Would your muse ever roleplay?

He doesn’t really have the confidence for something like that.

45. What is your muse’s Hogwarts house?

Slytherin.

46. What is your muse’s first thought upon waking up?

“Why the fuck am I awake.”

47. Name a song your muse can sing every word to.

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance.

48. Who would your muse sacrifice themselves for, if anybody?

Everyone on the Freedom Vessel except Adrian, his dads, and Polly. Percy is the highest priority on the Freedom Vessel, though.

49. How long is your muse’s penis? || What bra size is your muse?

It’s… average? He would probably say it was on the bigger side but it’s average.

50. If your muse could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

Genesis.

[surveysonfleek]

542.

1. Have you ever had pink eye? i think i have as a kid. gross. 2. Do you really care how many friends you or anyone else has on Myspace/Facebook? haha no.  3. Does your significant other have any piercings? ear and nose. 4. What is the last song you listened to with “song” in the title? probably ‘the lazy song’ by bruno mars coz it’s the only one i can think of. 5. Is red rad? sure.

6. do you have a lot of sleep debt? nope, back to regular now haha. 7. Do you like Adam Sandler? tbh he was funnier when i was a kid. 8. The last CD you listened to, from where did you get it? some girl was giving it out for free after a bryson tiller concert haha. it was by a local artist. 9. What are you doing on August 16th? no idea. 10. Last person/people to play (an) instrument(s) in your presence? Which? do turntables count? i was at a club on sunday. 11. When, where, and to whom did you lose your virginity? 2009, to my current boyfriend in his room. 12. Do you have any writing/drawings on you? nope. 13. What is your favourite day of the week? it changes every week depends on what days i’m working. 14. Favourite number from 1-31? yes. 15. When is the next [13’s answer] the [14’s answer]th, etc.? lol no idea. 16. Do you ever get bored of yourself? oh yeah. that’s why i do these. 17. How many different bands/artists have you seen live? honestly a lot. the last artist i saw live was drake last week. 18. How many band shirts do you own? Which? not many. 19. Do you go to shows mostly for the music, the moshing, or the merchandise? the music. 20. Last black person you hugged? knox. 21. Last song you sang in the shower? no idea. 22. Is life hard? yes. 23. Do you lift weights? no. 24. What is the EQ on your iPod set to? i use my iphone, i think it’s on r&b or something. 25. Do you eat your vegetables? yes. 26. Is Nutella amazing? yes! i haven’t had it in forever. 27. Have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now? the second holes in my ear. they’ve closed :( 28. Does someone telling you to have a good day/weekend actually affect your day/weekend? tbh i sorta filter it out. 29. How many albums do you own that came out this year? a lotttttt. 30. Do you sneeze every day? i don’t think so. 31. Would you consider yourself “tough”?  eh, nah. 32. Who were you with the first time you watched the last movie you watched? myself. 33. How many people do you know who are pregnant right now? two. could be more. 34. Have you eaten any fruit today? yes. 35. Do you have any twins/multiples in your family? Are they identical or fraternal? nope. 36. What is the highest number of jobs you’ve had at one time? two. 37. who is the youngest person in your family that you know of? my cousin’s kid. 38. Is your mom a good mom? yes. 39. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey. 40. How many shows/concerts have you attended? a lot now. i couldn’t even count. 41. Where is your S/O/crush atm? watching a soccer game. 42. how many houses have you lived in? four in total, but this one for the longest. 43. Do you pick up pennies off the ground? no. 44. Last thing you bought that was under a dollar? haha no idea.

45. Last thing you bought over fifty dollars? an early christmas gift. 46. What colour is the last lighter you used? orange. 47. Last thing you printed? tickets. 48. Last thing you threw in the garbage? an eye drops box. 49. Closest book to you? a notebook. 50. What are your parents’ and their grandchildren’s names? i’d rather not post my parent’s names and they don’t have grandchildren lol.

[yasbxxgie]

Black Marylanders are suffering disproportionately from the new coronavirus shows information released Thursday by the state for the first time, drawing frustration, but not surprise from area political leaders and observers.

The rate of coronavirus infections and related deaths is higher among African American residents than whites or other groups, according to the new Maryland Department of Health data, which mirrors findings in several other states and cities. In Maryland, 49.4% of those infected whose race was known were black, 36.9% were white and 13.7% were Asian or another race.

African Americans also account for 53% of the related deaths among those whose race was known, while 38% were white and 5.5% were Asian.

Maryland’s population is about 30% black and nearly 60% white, according to U.S. Census data.

In a statement, Gov. Larry Hogan noted the “troubling disparities” in the data.

“On Tuesday, I directed [the Maryland Department of Health] to begin publishing everything that is available on racial and ethnic breakdowns on COVID-19 cases, with updates as more data becomes available,” Hogan said. “Today, we are able to publish 75% of the currently available data, which shows troubling disparities and points to a persistent public health challenge that we must address.”

Race data, which is pulled from Wednesday’s count of 5,529 confirmed cases in the state, is not available for nearly 25% of Maryland’s confirmed cases, which rose to 6,185 on Thursday. But Hogan said Tuesday he is directing the state health lab to report such data from its tests and “be as proactive as anyone in the nation” in pushing private labs to do the same.

Today, we are able to publish 75% of the currently available data, which shows troubling disparities and points to a persistent public health challenge that we must address. pic.twitter.com/XAAoi4o7oo

— Governor Larry Hogan (@GovLarryHogan) April 9, 2020

Hogan said significant data gaps remain because the private labs that do the most testing aren’t required to report on race. But state officials are supplementing their findings with patient information culled from a statewide health information exchange used by medical providers.

On Thursday, the state also announced there have been 138 deaths caused by the virus. Black residents account for 55 of the 103 cases where race was known.

As racial disparities have emerged in other cities and states, Maryland health officials have faced pressure for about a week from legislators and others to release the racial breakdown of confirmed cases.

State Del. Nick Mosby has been a leading voice pressuring the Hogan administration to release the racial breakdown of coronavirus cases, saying an early analysis of the data is the only way to spot and rectify disparities.

“Wow,” the Baltimore Democrat said after he saw the size of the disparity. “From the data, we should develop our response."

That race data alone, however, is not enough, Mosby said. Cases broken down by ZIP code would help officials target communities that are hit hardest with resources and information. In a segregated city like Baltimore, a person’s neighborhood determines so much about their predicted health outcomes.

On Thursday, when Baltimore Mayor Bernard C. “Jack” Young said the city’s first drive-thru coronavirus testing center at the Pimlico Race Course will open Friday morning, the city launched an online dashboard that breaks down the numbers of local cases by ZIP code.

Pimlico is in the heart of the city’s heaviest hit ZIP code: 21215 in Northwest Baltimore, which has 64 confirmed cases of COVID-19. About four in five of the area’s residents are black.

House of Delegates Speaker Adrienne A. Jones said she was hopeful the state would continue to press for more information from private labs to get a more accurate picture. Jones said she pressed Hogan last week when they met for a brief bill-signing ceremony.

Jones also would like to see cases broken down by ZIP code.

“That way, concentrated efforts can be put in those areas,” said Jones, a Democrat who represents a district in western Baltimore County.

It’s important to ramp up testing as well as education about social distancing in neighborhoods that have high caseloads, Jones said.

“Instead of being reactive, be on the side of being more proactive,” Jones said.

The data in Maryland add to a growing base of information from across the country that officials call disturbing. While race is known for only about 3,300 of the nation’s 13,000 deaths, about 42% of those were among black people, according to an Associated Press analysis. African Americans account for only about 21% of the total population in the areas covered by the analysis.

States reporting an over-representation of blacks included Alabama, Illinois, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi and North Carolina, as well as the counties and cities of Washington, D.C.; Miami-Dade, Florida; Milwaukee, Wisconsin; and New York City.

Public health experts who have long observed disparities between white and black neighborhoods say there is more than one likely reason for the coronavirus case imbalance. But they said it should push leaders in Maryland and elsewhere to take action in the short and long terms.

“It’s tragic, though not surprising, that African-Americans are disproportionately affected by COVID-19, because of systemic inequities that have resulted in long-standing health disparities,” said Dr. Leana Wen, a George Washington University professor and a former Baltimore City health commissioner. “Based on modeling, the D.C. and Baltimore-areas could be the next epicenters of the outbreak, and we should all be concerned about the disproportionate impact on communities that are already the most vulnerable and already face the greatest burden of racial and socioeconomic disparities.”

Darrell J. Gaskin, director of Johns Hopkins Center for Health Disparities Solutions, said any community that lacks access to health care and is on the lowest economic rung has been shown to be a prime target for chronic and infectious disease.

“There are a number of reasons why, in hindsight, this might have been predictable,” he said of the high COVID-19 cases in black communities.

Low-income black residents often don’t get appropriate primary care, which leads to chronic conditions such as heart disease and diabetes that exacerbate COVID-19. They often can’t stay home and properly distance themselves to avoid infection because of the types of jobs they continue to work even during a pandemic.

They drive buses, stock grocery shelves and clean, rather than work on their computers

“They aren’t given personal protective equipment; they get infected and take it home to their families,” he said. “We thought of a solution that works for a large segment of our society, but not those who are marginalized.”

Gaskin said he hopes the data spark improvements in the underlying conditions that are known to make people vulnerable. He said higher wages, stable housing and access to health care are all needed.

“This is a moment in which we could probably get the political will to do something big,” he said.

There are other things to do immediately, Baltimore City Council President Brandon Scott said.

He said officials need to counter the myth that he continues to hear about black people being unable to contract the coronavirus.

“I need every, every, every single person in Baltimore to understand COVID-19 is real, and I need black people in Baltimore to understand it 10-times over,” he said. “We can see across the country we are contracting and dying of COVID-19 more than anyone else.”

In addition to racial data, Scott said, officials need geographic data to understand disparities. He recently introduced a bill requiring the city health commissioner to report patients’ races and ZIP codes during a health emergency.

Others also are calling for that kind of geographic information, including the Democratic members of Maryland’s congressional delegation, which sent a letter Thursday to Hogan.

“We share your concern about the disproportionate impact that COVID-19 appears to be having on black Marylanders and believe that this initial data demonstrates a need for more granular reporting by ZIP code,” said the letter.

“Additionally, we urge you to report complete and comprehensive data for all patients as expeditiously as possible and ensure that this data is informing Maryland’s COVID-19 response efforts,” said the letter from Democratic Maryland Sens. Ben Cardin and Chris Van Hollen as well as Democratic U.S. Reps. Steny Hoyer, Dutch Ruppersberger, John Sarbanes, Anthony Brown, Jamie Raskin, and David Trone.

Baltimore County Councilman Julian Jones, the only black member of the council, added that more testing would be helpful. He’s heard from constituents who had coronavirus symptoms, but whose doctors didn’t order the test.

“That’s been a sore spot in the whole system from the word go, the lack of testing, the lack of available tests for people who need it,” he said.

Hogan mentioned the testing issue during a “town hall” program that aired Thursday afternoon on Fox 45 in Baltimore and WJLA in Washington.

He said the state had a large minority population, so it’s not unexpected to see more testing positive. The disparity, however, may be due to the level of testing in those black communities.

“In the Baltimore-Washington corridor, including Prince George’s, Montgomery County all the way through to Baltimore City, that’s where the highest concentration in numbers are and there’s definitely a higher percentage in the African-American communities,” he said. “We actually are doing far more testing in those communities."

He said the most testing has been done in Prince George’s County, followed by Baltimore City and then Montgomery County.

But, he added, “some of it is there’s a higher population and a lot more density and some of it is that disparity that we’ve been talking about all across the country.”

The state updated other demographic information Thursday, including age and gender data. Although women represent the majority of those infected at 53.7%, 85 of Maryland’s 138 deaths, more than 61%, have been men. By age, 86 of the victims have been at least 70 years old, with a death rate of almost 14% among those confirmed to have the virus who are over 80.

[fahrminbrahmin]

ED Questions: nobody asked for this but im bored lmao

1. which eating disorder(s) do you have? 

tbh nobody has said a specific name to me drs just say either ‘eating issues’ or ‘eating disorder’ so ednos?


2. when did you develop your eating disorder?

this is hard to answer bc looking back ive shown signs since ~early teenage years but ive been fully aware of it for about 2-2.5 years


3. are you currently in recovery?

im in therapy, its bought up every other session but i tend to avoid mentioning it so yes and no


4. honestly, do you want to recover?

again, yes and no. I often h a t e feeling like this but?? the pros out way the cons at this point


5. how are you doing today?

unhealthily? great! lol i hit my next gw this week and p much all my cals have been from alcohol lmao healthily? p bad ive only eaten a cruskit and some lettuce & im kinda depressed these past days but hey! idc


6. 5 safe foods?

lettuce! so much lettuce i can easily go through a head a day. honestly, its the only thing i can eat without feeling any semblance of guilt.


7. 5 fear foods?

tbqh, its such a long list everything p much. at the height of my fear of food i saw the word protein and freaked the F out so protein


8. do you count calories?

yeah but im really good at lying to myself about how many calories ive actually eaten lmao


9. what is your max calorie limit?

i say 550, but anything over 250 makes me feel like utter shit but then again, anything makes me feel shit lol


10. what is your height?

5′3″ / 161cm 


11. what is your ultimate goal weight?

it was 49.5kg! but i hit that so its 48.7kg atm itll go down again tho


12. are you trying to lose weight?

absolutely yes


13. have you ever been called “fat”?

honestly i cant even remember if i have or not


14. have you ever been called “too thin”?

ive been called ‘small’ but not too thin. the dream tbh


15. what is your current goal weight?

48.7kgs


16. what was your highest weight?

when i first started weighing myself regularly, 61kgs


17. what was your lowest weight?

49.1kgs


18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?

im there rn 


19. does your family know about your eating disorder?

yes, i dont talk to a lot of ppl and p much everyone knows


20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?

yeah, one of my best friends was actually the first person i told


21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?

yes and no, i hate feeling like this toward myself and food. but ive always hated myself so this is an improvement so its a really happy side effect


22. have any “free foods”?

lettuce!! lettuce lettuce lettuce. and tea


23. how often do you weigh yourself?

every day when i wake up. id say morning but i have a shit sleep schedule lol


24. thinspo or bonespo?

neither tbh im more of a i-have-an-ed-more-to-harm-myself-less-to-be-thin kinda gal


25. biggest problem area on your body?

my chubby chubby cheeks. the great irony is that my ed gave me chipmunk cheeks which hasnt helped any but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 


26. favourite part of your body?

tbqh i like my waist. its not tiny but its p good imo


27. what kind of results do you want to see?

booooooones!!


28. do you purge?

:/ yeah


29. do you take laxatives?

yes but i have bowel problems anyway so its the constant struggle of do i take the reccomended amount or do i overdose lmao its always overdose


30. how often do you purge?

it goes in cycles, some weeks i purge every day, other weeks its could be 1-2 times a week.


31. do you binge?

by definition, no, but often times ill eat and say to myself its a binge


32. how long have you fasted for?

im SHIT at fasting, probably like 18-19 hours


33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?

hands around thighs really get me. also protruding rib cages thats the dream.


34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?

none! ive only seen maybe half an ed doc i cant get through one. But! I have a book of stories of girls w/ eds and there was one story about a white/polynesian girl with an ed with identity issues and she was l i t e r a l l y me i still have that book


35. favourite thinspo picture?

again, any pic of fingers touching around thighs. LUV it


36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?

ive only posted 2 body checks lol, u can see them here


37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?

Im literally obsessed with food nd my body ive isolated myself from everyone/thing in my life and everything i do is a number i h8 it


38. what is your BMI?

currently, 19.1 
39. do you follow a diet?

yeah, as little calories as possible lmao


40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?

most if not all of it? its all i think about


41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?

yes? if we group my ed with all my other mental health problems, i isolate myself from everyone i havent seen one of my best friends in over a year so YA


42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it?

c h o c o l a t e. it is very much a guilty pleasure lool


43. meanspo or sweetspo?

not about the whole concept tbqh


44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?

the saddest part, most women i know have expressed r admitted to doing some really shitty stuff to themselves in order to be thin


45. ever been inpatient? 
/ 46. ever been outpatient? / 47. ever been in residential care? / 48. ever been in a psych ward?

nah but ive been threatened with it


49. are you currently in therapy?

yeah, individual therapy and DBT


50. what did you eat today?

a cruskit, 1 gummy lolly, ~4 leaves of lettuce and 3 glasses of wine lmao


51. are you scared about the holidays?

yes bc ill make a pavlova and ofc im gonna eat it rip :/


52. are your family/friends supportive?

kind of, if im in a healthy mind set i know they care but dont really know how to go about it. but they let me do a lot of shitty things to myself


53. have any other mental illnesses?

’severe social anxiety’, emotional disregulation, depression, maybe avpd and/or bpd?


54. looking for ana buddies?

nopenopenope ill never encourage this


55. what is your current weight?

as of this morning: 49.1kgs

[captainvatican]

All of them. Every single questions. All of the questions.

HECK, BRO

ASK MEME 1

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

“What did I put in my hot chocolate last night?”

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

We both exist.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

We wouldn’t be dating in the first place lol.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

It’s exactly six letters.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

Ye

7. What does your last received text say?

“Miss you!”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Math

9. Where was your last kiss at?

Earth

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I don’t have a sister so…

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

They require effort, and are challenging, but they shouldn’t always be hard.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Probs, but I wouldn’t because I have to live with the choices I made or else I’d create Flashpoint.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Our focus would probs be on getting out.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny!

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

I gave myself a middle name (Alexander) when I was little, but yes I do know someone!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Sweatpants

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

If God wills it!

20. Does anyone like you?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Nope

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Nope

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Ye, but it is justified and felt by so many people.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yep!

25. In the past week have you cried?

Nope

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

My priest’s puppy (though I claim him as my own too): Hardy! He’s a lab/bull mix!

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Both, I guess

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

I’m 21 so no lol.

30. Do you like text messaging?

I do

31. What type of day are you having?

It’s been a busy day!

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Nope

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Yep!

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Both I guess? I’m simple, but deep - ya feel?

37. What song are you listening to?

“Highest Praises” by Amanda Cook

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

I say “I’m sorry” a lot but when I say it, I mean it.39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yep40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

I don’t like anyone lol.41. When did you last receive a text message?

Like a few seconds ago.42. What is wrong with you right now?

*gestures towards my whole existence*43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

We’re super close so very well.44. Does anyone disgust you?

This one person who manipulated and stole from the Church community.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

I would take time to discern it.46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Yep!47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My friend/coworker.48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Red.49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

I guess so?50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

I don’t give up on people, but I know when to step away.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Not at all

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

There was one time I tried to, but couldn’t.53. Do you like rain?

Depends! If I’m at home, yeah. But I don’t like going outside or traveling when it’s raining. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I would, fam. Gotta stay hydrated.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Yep 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Heck ye57. Are you shy?

Not really, but I’m more open and such when I already know someone. 58. Do you get along with girls?

Yep!59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

It used to be my rosary, but I have that away. Right now it would be my phone. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Give me a friend, holy water, and light and I would. 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Yep 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Fam I can’t even remember the past hour. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

I do like forehead kisses65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I saw my nephew so yes!

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

Math

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? 

I mean I trim my own nails so   68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

The sweet taste of death69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

I don’t have a car, but I would not put stickers on it (unless it’s Catholic tbh).    70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Amanda Cook.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iPhone72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?   

I think last year? 73. Do you like diet soda?    

Nope74. What color are the walls in your room?   

Green 75. Are you 16 or older?    

Ye76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

Nope77. Do you have a job?    

Multiple jobs, yes!  78. What are your initials?    

N.E.V.E.R.G.O.N.N.A.G.I.V.E.Y.O.U.U.P.79. Did you ever have braces?    

Yep!80. Are you from the south?    

Personally, no. But my family is from the south south known as South America.

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

So many people have tagged me in memes that I had to scroll back a bit, but my last status was a check in at my hotel in MD: “And now, it's time to rest. 😴”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Nope83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

I’m not “close” with either, but I spend time with both of them a lot since they’re always together.84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

One time I dropped a chicken nugget and had to stretch to get it so ye85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

Rogue One86. Do you smoke?   

Nope 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Flip flops88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Ye89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?   

Straight ??????90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

Ye91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

Lake92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Nah93. …Had sex in a car?    

No fam94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

I think I had just finished praying the rosary on stream with some friends.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

I don’t remember tbh97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

I would prefer a better one98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

Nope99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

Nope    100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  

Nope  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

Nope102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

I don’t listen to her so lol103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

Nope104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

Nah fam

ASK MEME 2

1. selfie

I don’t remember the context so don’t ask xD

2. what would you name your future kids?

I’ve got a whole list lol. But my faves are: John Paul (JP), Benedict, Peter, Hosea, Judah, Therese, Hope, Rose, Mary, etc.

3. do you miss anyone?

Yep!

4. what are you looking forward to?

Kicking off our new ministry in my Archdiocese!

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

My best friend, Peter!

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

Depends

7. what was your life like last year?

Different

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

P sure ye

9. who did you last see in person?

My friends/coworkers.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes and no

11. are you listening to music right now?

Yeah!

12. what is something you want right now?

Now I want a smoothie.

13. how do you feel right now?

Pretty tired from a long week

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

About an hour ago

15. personality description

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Yep

17. opinion on insecurities.

I have a lot of them

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

Yes and no.

19. have you ever been to New York?

I live right by it so lol

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

*sweats nervously*

I can’t choose because the only songs I’ve been playing for like a month are:

“Closer”, “Bitter/Sweet”, “Highest Praises”, “City of Hope”, and “Pieces” all by Amanda Cook.

21. age and birthday?

21, December 9th.

22. description of crush.

N/A

23. fear(s)

Being forgotten is one.

24. height

Uh 5′8″ p sure.

25. role model

JPII!

26. idol(s)

No idols fam

27. things i hate

Bad graphic design tbh

28. i’ll love you if…

You are fun and deep idk haha

29. favourite film(s)

So many favorites but my main favorite is It’s a Wonderful Life.

30. favourite tv show(s)

The Flash.

31. 3 random facts

I’m the palest Hispanic ever.

My skin is soft and people are always touching it.

I have way too many books, but that is not a problem at all.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

It’s an equal balance.

33. something you want to learn

ASL!

34. most embarrassing moment

My confession story tbh.

35. favourite subject

Theology!

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Get fit

Become more myself

Become a saint

37. favourite actor/actress

I don’t really have any lol

38. favourite comedian(s)

Tim Hawkins, hands down.

39. favourite sport(s)

Soccer and Archery.

40. favourite memory

Sitting down at the Nature Reserve at my college with my friends and watching the stars show up. It was the first time I felt like life would be okay.

41. relationship status

Single

42. favourite book(s)

Man and Woman He Made Them: A Theology of the Body by Saint John Paul II, I Am The Messenger by Markus Zusak, and a bunch of theological books that I won’t bore you with :p

43. favourite song ever

I don’t have a “favorite” song because I love so many songs so much, but one song that never fails to hype me up is “The Great Escape” by Boys Like Girls.

44. age you get mistaken for

17 probs.

45. how you found out about your idol

I don’t have an idol lol.

46. what my last text message says

Now it’s “I like the redesign, can you send me the file so I can print the banner?”

47. turn ons

Funny, strives for holiness, gentle and kind, good with kids, empathetic, loving.

48. turn offs

Selfishness, anger, hardened heart, etc.

49. where i want to be right now

Home, but like, home in the sense of being where I am meant to be.

50. favourite picture of your idol

Don’t have an idol so.

51. starsign

Sign of the Cross

52. something i’m talented at

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

53. 5 things that make me happy

My friends

My best friend

My nephew

Memes

Jesus

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

I didn’t do my homework this week for one class because I’ve been so busy and even though I logically know that my grade will not be hurt in any way, I’m still pretty anxious about it.

55. tumblr friends

So many, but I’d like to point out this specific loser: @patron-saint-of-smart-asses

56. favourite food(s)

Colombian food.

57. favourite animal(s)

Red Pandas!

58. description of my best friend

He’s holy, a leader, and I am constantly inspired and fueled by our friendship. We never hesitate to call each other “brother” and to tell people (and each other) how much we love each other. I am grateful for our friendship and brotherhood, it is everything I prayed for in a friend and more.

59. why i joined tumblr

The main reason was to evangelize and to make friends. Now it’s to banter and share memes (and the other two reasons I guess).

60. ask me anything you want 

Didn’t ask anything so :p

[dipulb3]

'Pandemic pricing' is here. Rents are dropping across the US

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/pandemic-pricing-is-here-rents-are-dropping-across-the-us/

'Pandemic pricing' is here. Rents are dropping across the US

The two roommates were also given one month’s rent free and did not have to pay a broker fee, which typically would have cost them 12% to 15% of the annual rent.

“Pandemic pricing,” as some agents call it, has arrived across the country as landlords react to the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic. With many people either losing their jobs or working from home due to the shutdowns, many tenants have chosen to leave their apartments behind in major US cities.

And that has pushed rental prices lower in many places across the US. In May, according to apartment listing platform Zumper, the top four most expensive cities — San Francisco, New York, Boston and San Jose — all saw rents on median one-bedroom apartments decline from a year ago.

In San Francisco, the median rent for one-bedrooms is down 9% from last year to $3,360 and two-bedrooms are down 6% to $4,420, according to Zumper.

“I’m seeing rents are down 10% to 20%, with higher-end and luxury units taking the biggest hits,” said Dave Chesnosky, an agent with Compass in San Francisco. “But these drops are dependent on the location and uniqueness of a unit.”

Rents are dropping at the high end of the market first as people who are “renters by choice” bail on their apartments, said Jeff Adler, vice president and general manager at Yardi Matrix, which tracks the leasing industry.

“Younger, single professionals who weren’t attached to the city they were living in said, ‘If everything is shut down, why should I stay here? I’ll go back home.’ Or they doubled up with someone else,” he said.

As more apartments become available, owners have been forced to reduce their rent to increase interest, he said.

This has a cascading effect throughout the market as people in the price bracket below find these deals — perhaps a better apartment for the same price or even less — and vacate their own apartments.

“If you have a job and a stable income, now is not a bad time to look around and see if you can improve your circumstances,” said Adler.

Steeper drops at higher end

In Manhattan, the rents on the highest priced apartments are falling fastest. The median rent for a luxury apartment in May was $7,825 a month, a 10% drop from April, according to a report from brokerage firm Douglas Elliman and appraiser Miller Samuel. The median rent for all Manhattan apartments in May was $3,546, down 3% from April.

“No one is surprised the prices have come down slightly,” said Hal Gavzie, executive director of leasing at Douglas Elliman in New York City. “Landlords are doing whatever they can to get vacant apartments filled.”

New leases typically spike in May, but last month they were down 62% from the year before, according to the Douglas Elliman report. This is partly due to the shutdown, which prevents rental agents from showing apartments in New York City, said Gavzie.

But, he said, more apartments are also available because people just up and left their leases. While many left when the pandemic shut down the city, others left later when the protests over the killing of George Floyd began, Gavzie said.

Gavzie said that presents a rare opportunity for those staying in the city.

“Right now is probably when you’ll get the best deals you’re going to find,” said Gavzie. “Once we are able to show apartments in New York, the inventory will diminish and there will be more competition.”

During their apartment search, Freund said she and her roommate saw incentives on other rentals as well and every listing they saw waived the broker fee. Plus, the lower rents allowed Freund and her roommate to expand their wish list.

“We wanted to at least have laundry in the building,” she said. “As prices were decreasing, we realized we could get laundry in the unit. That was such a win.”

New wish list: home office, outdoor space

In New York, realistic landlords who provide flexible lease starts, pay the broker’s fee or offer incentives are the ones finding renters, said Kristina Paces, an agent at Douglas Elliman.

Paces, who leases buildings in lower Manhattan, said landlords she works with have increased their incentives from one month of free rent, to two months with a 12-month lease. In May, 42% of new leases had an owner-paid incentive, up from 35% in April, according to the Douglas Elliman/Miller Samuel report.

“No one is walking in saying, ‘Great, I’d love to pay full price,’ in this Covid-19 environment,” she said.

What people are willing to pay more for in a rental apartment building is changing as well, said Paces.

All those buildings with fancy amenities were competing with each other to offer gyms, pools and movie lounges. Not only are the perks not enticing anyone right now, many aren’t even open or usable.

Most in demand now: home-office space, an in-unit washer and dryer and outdoor space, said Paces. “People’s offices are closed until January and they are taking that into consideration when looking for apartments.”

After being indoors for so many months, outdoor space has become an especially attractive luxury. “It is a premium. Those apartments are going first,” she said. “In a normal market, you think, I might use that a bit, but now you know you’ll use it a lot.”

[paradox-oflife]

massive q and a post part 5 ignore this pls

(unless ur interested) 

1. Do you have a favourite mug? Not really. I had one that was literally so cute it was like a neko atsume art style and it was a cat going uwu

2. Do you know any self defense or martial arts? Yes, actually. My mom was pretty supportive for it because the women’s side on our family is all under 5′2″. I did Aikido and Muay Thai throughout from the beginning of high school to the end. I don’t have as much time in college anymore though, but I’m looking forwards to starting it again. I’ve had to use it one time in my life. Hey Angelica, if you’re reading this you should ask me about it. That’s a story for later though.

3. Who's your favourite movie action hero? uuuuuh Thor? idk

4. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? Haha in Taiwan that’s the main form of transportation. It’s an electric scooter.

5. Do you collect anything? I wear retainers when I sleep so I have an ongoing collection of retainer cases. 

6. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? i was never really one for fashion haha

7. Do you stick to conventional fashions or like to try and be original? bro i literally wear like a sweater, tshirt, and black jeans.

8. Have you ever given someone a handmade present?  I did a woodburning painting of kermit the frog for my friend’s bday

9. Are you introvert or extrovert? I used to be an extrovert, then I turned into an ambivert. High school made me more introverted. So on the spectrum, I’m in the middle but more towards introvert now.

10. If you could have any feature from an animal what would you want? Hmmm. I’m not sure actually. Wings? But that’s kind of inconvenient when I want to sleep.

11. Whats your prefered swimming stroke? Freestyle all the way

12. Have you ever been scuba diving? No

13. Have you ever had a disasterous interview? So far, no, but an interviewer once said I seemed very nervous lol.

14. What makes you nervous? A lot of things really. Too many.

15. Which of the 5 senses would you say is your strongest? Not eyesight because I’m slightly colorblind. Not hearing because I was born with tinnitus. Maybe smell? Or touch? But how do you compare that to taste? Idk

16. What colour are your eyes? Your average asian dark brown

17. Have you ever been to an Art gallery? Yeah. It’s pretty nice, but it’s hard to enjoy it when your impatient brother thinks it’s boring and wants to move on 

18. Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows? All the time man. Granted that I actually know what the answer is

19. Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team? (equivalent to trivia quizzes) To a certain extent I suppose

20. Have you ever won any kind of quiz yourself? Yeah, name the countries. My geography isn’t too bad

21. Do you get over-involved with TV or movie plots at times? Um yes haha

22. Do you own any inflatable furniture? No, but I’d totally get one if it looked sick

23. Whats the highest hill or mountain you've ever climbed? Yosemite’s “Oh my Gosh Point”. The hike up there is so freaking hard because it’s like a 2 hour uphill climb. But the view is so worth it. It literally took my breath away.

24. Do you have a piggy bank? Nope

25. Whats the fastest you've ever travelled in a car? Not that fast. Like idk, maybe in an empty highway. 

26. Could you ever hand milk a cow? I mean... if I had to

27. Do you have popcorn with a movie? Yeah, if I’m hungry. But otherwise I stay off movie snacks because it’s hella expensive.

28. Whats the futhest you've ever got a paper airplane to fly? 20 feet.

29. Have you ever built an igloo? Nope

30. Can you play the harmonica? It doesn’t sound good but yeah

31. Have you ever made a ball of twine or rubberbands? One time, it took forever to make though. My brother and I were being a bit too careless and it somehow exploded.

32. If given the option of having sprinkles in your ice cream do you always take it? Nah. Some ice cream is so good without any added sugar.

33. Could you ever be a living organ donor? Uuuuh, maybe. God my answer sounds so pretentious but if I was a dead body, yeah, sure go for it! Do whatever.

34. Which was your favourite science? Biology, Physics or Chemistry? Bio and Chem were hard but I’m taking it rn so it’s fine. Physics was lowkey boring but it was easy due to being math based.

35. Would you ever go out with someone just cause they're rich? Nope.

36. Have you ever contemplated sueing someone? haha no 

37. Are you pretty devious? Only when it comes to fun games. If it’s a legitimate match in Martial Arts, or some type of thing like that I don’t cheat.

38. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) No, the parties I ever go to are just small get togethers.

39. Are you any good at giving massages? No, I kinda feel awkward when I do it.

40. Whats been your worst date ever? Haha imagine having a relationship ;w;

41. Have you ever slapped someone in public? My brother, but it was in a playful manner

42. Have you ever drawn on a sleeping or inebriated person? Yes. Good thing they’re pretty chill. Me and my friend were wheezing.

43. Have you ever warn clothing with the labels/tags still attached? Yeah, and I didn’t even notice until my friend pointed it out.

44. Have you ever slipped on a banana skin? No, but I have seen someone do it before.

45. Are you scared of the dark? Nah.

46. Do you have a lawyer? Nope

47. Have you ever been wolf whistled in public? Uuuh my friend did it out loud in public to me before and I punched her so hard.

48. Whats the worst pickup line you've heard? Something to do with chickens and impeccable?? Can’t remember exactly what it was but I remember cringing.

49. Have you ever been water skiing? Nope

50. Have you ever hopelessly failed a test? Omg yeah in Alg 2/Trig I bombed the HELL out of my first trig test.

51. If you had a year off, what would you want to do? Um, I guess there’s not much I can do because I’m not that rich.

52. How many sms/txt messages do you recieve on average a day? From my discord group chat, a lot. But actual direct text, maybe like 3.

53. How long did you last phone call last? 5 minutes.

54. Do you go to flea markets? Sometimes, if I have time.

55. If you saw someone drop a $10 note, would you claim it for your own or try to return it to them? Return it to them.

56. Have you ever helped someone across the road? No, haven’t stumbled upon that situation yet.

57. Have you ever been horseriding? Nope

58. Have you ever walked a tightrope? Nope x100

59. Have you ever demolished a wall or building? Yeah, it was a thin wall and I used a hammer.

60. If you and a friend both wanted the same thing would you let the friend get it first? Of course, they’re my friend and they deserve the world :)

61. Have you ever argued over who should pay for something? um YES have you ever been to an Asian dinner with other asian families??? The fight to pay the bill for your mates is a war.

62. Do you have any family heirlooms? Nah

63. Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? No, but it’d be kind of cool.

64. Whats your favourite ocean? The pacific I guess? Idk there’s only seven to choose from

65. Do you correct peoples mistakes? Nah, unless it’s a super important one.

66. Have you ever helped out an injured animal? Yes it was a hummingbird that crashed into my window

67. Do you throw bread for the ducks? I did in New Zealand, but I found out that it was bad so...

68. Do you think babies are little bundles of joy or smelly noisey things? Both

69. Do you give money to street performers? Nah

70. Have you ever tossed your own pancake? Yup

71. Are you any good at egg and spoon races? Bruh i’ve never actually done it before but I’d probably be bad lol

72. Are you allergic to anything? High dosage of cortisone cream

73. Are you ticklish? If you taser me and squeeze my thighs

74. Do you prefer tea,coffee or cocoa? Tea all the way baby

75. Do you like Turkish Delight? If I’m thinking of the right thing, I think they’re alright

76. Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday? Only for those that ask me

77. Are you tired of answering questions yet? Not yet Angelica!! Keep ‘em coming

78. Have you ever been wheelbarrow racing? No

79. Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? Never

80. Do you often have a tune in your head you can't name? YEAH it’s classical music so i can’t search up lyrics

81. Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else? Yes. Their excuse was all asians look the same (?!)

82. Have you ever been approached by someone who knew you but you couldn't remember them for the life of you? Yes it was so awkward I kept calling them “dude” until they went away

83. What do you do to keep fit? All I really do is jumprope, some pushups, planks, that sort of thing

84. Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight? Depends on who’s in the fight. Sometimes if you try to get involved, they’ll start attacking you

85. Have you ever been in a fight? Yes, ask me about it

86. Have you ever started a rumour? Nah, ya girl aint like that

87. Have you ever heard any outstanding rumours about yourself? YES. Some boy said I got into a car crash. Then one day after school some of my acquaintances asked me if I was okay and I was like ???? what?? Weirdest rumor ever

88. Have you ever been in or had a food fight? Nope

89. When its your birthday do you always wear an age badge? I think this is another UK thing because i’ve literally never heard of anyone doing this before

90. Have you ever starred in an amateur or professional video? Nope. I mean, depends what you mean by amateur. I’ve been in a couple of school projects.

91. If you were comfortably rich would you work hard for more or rest on your laurels? Work, but in a laidback job. Like a flowershop keeper or something.

92. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yeah, one time in elementary school when the teacher left for the bathroom, she put me in charge B)

93. Have you ever been caught in a compromising position? even despite a valid explanation? uuuh no

94. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? Nah because I’m underage

95. If you were ruler of your own country what would you call it? No idea

96. And what title would you give yourself? I’d be the founder, but leave the government stuff to other people. Like I’d be in textbooks, people will be like “Oh yeah, that’s esther she’s pretty cool, she founded this country.” But I wouldn’t do anything.

97. Have you ever had a dream you chased only to be let down when you achived it? Mm it’s comparable to buying an outfit and thinking it’d look nice on you but when you put it on you look bad.

98. Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand or comprehend? How oblivious they can be sometimes. like learn to read between the lines man..

[saiorgseo]

chennai to shirdi flight packages

Precious Sayings of Shri Shirdi Sai Baba

 1. Action - Karma

This deha prarabdha (present birth) is the result of the karma (action) done by you in the former births.

2. Assurance

If a man utters My name with love, I shall fulfill all his wishes and increase his devotion. If he sings earnestly about My life and deeds, him I shall beset in front and back and on all sides.

3. Beauty

We have not to bother  chennai to shirdi flight packages   about beauty or ugliness of the person, but to concentrate solely on God underlying that form.

4. Charity

The donor gives, that is, sow  his seeds, only to reap a rich harvest in future. Wealth should be meant to work out Dharma. If it is not given before, you do not get it now. So, the best way to receive it is to give.

5. Contentment

One must rest content with one’s lot.

 6. Dakshina

The giving of dakshina (reverential gift) advances vairagya (non-attachment) and thereby bhakthi (devotion).

7. Death

None dies ; see with your inner eyes. Then you will realise that you are God and not different from Him. Like worn-out garments the body is cast away.

8. Illusion (Maya)

Whenever any idea of joy or sorrow arises in your mind, resist it. Do not give room to it. It is pure maya (illusion).

9. Destiny

Whosoever is destined to be struck will be struck. Whosoever is to die will die. Whosoever is to be caressed will be caressed.

10. Discrimination

There are two sorts of things - the good and the pleasant. Both these things approach a man for acceptance. He has to think   and choose one of them. The wise man prefers the good to the pleasant but the unwise, through greed and attachment, chooses the pleasant and thereby cannot gain Brahma gyana (self-realisation).

11. Devotee

He who withdraws his heart from wife, child, and parents and loves me is My real lover or devotee and he merges in me like a river in the sea.

12. Devotion

Knowledge of the Vedas or fame as a great jnani (learned scholar) of formal bhajan (worship) are of no avail unless they are accompanied by bhakthi (devotion).

13. Differences

People differentiate between themselves and others, their properties with others' properties. This is wrong. I am in you and you are in Me. Meditate on the self with a question "Who am I ?"

14. Duty

Unless a man discharges satisfactorily and disinterestedly the duties of his station in life, his mind will not be purified.

15. Egoism

The teachings of a Guru are of no use to a man who is full of egoism and who always thinks about sense-objects.

16. Enemy

Who is whose enemy ? Do not say of anyone that he is your enemy. All are one and the same.

17. Equanimity

Let the world go topsy-turvy, you remain where you are. Standing or staying at your own place, look calmly at the show of all things passing before you.

18. Exploitation

Nobody should take the labour of others' gratis. The worker should be paid his dues promptly and liberally.

19. Feeding

Know for certain that he who  feeds the hungry, really serves Me with food. Regard this as an axiomatic truth.

20. Food

Sitting in the masjid (mosque) I shall never, never speak untruth. Take pity on Me like this : first give bread to the hungry and then eat yourself. Note this well.

21. Forbearance

Our Karma is the  cause of happiness and sorrow. Therefore, put up with whatever comes to you.

22. God

God lives in all beings and creatures, whether they be serpents or scorpions. He is the greatest wirepuller of the world, and all beings, serpents, scorpions, et cetera, obey His command.

23. God’s Gifts

What a man gives does not last long and it is always imperfect. But what my sircar (God) gives, lasts to the end of life. No other gift from any man can be compared to His.

24. God’s Grace

You must always adhere to truth and fulfill all the promises you make. Have shraddha (faith) and saburi (patience). Then I will always be with you, wherever you are.

25. God’s Will

Unless God wills it, nobody meets us on the way ; unless God wills, nobody can do any harm to us.

26. Goodness

If you act in a good way, good will really follow.

27. Greed

Greed and Brahma are poles asunder ; they are eternally opposed to each other. Where there is greed, there is no room for thought or meditation of the Brahma. Then how can a greedy man get dispassion and salvation.

28. Guru

Stick to your own Guru with unabated faith, whatever the merits of other gurus and however little the merits of your own.

29. Guru’s Grace

The mother tortoise is  chennai to shirdi flight packages  on one bank of the river and her young ones are on the other. She gives neither milk nor warmth to them. Her mere glance gives them warmth. The young ones do nothing but remember (meditate upon) their mother. The tortoise glance is, to the young ones, a downpour of nectar, the only source of sustenance and happiness. Similar is the relationship between the Guru and his disciples.

30. Humility

Humility is not towards all. Severity     is necessary in dealing with the wicked.

31. Happiness

If others hate us, let us take to nama Japa (chanting of God’s name) and avoid them. Do not bark at people ; do not be pugnacious. Bear with others' reproach. This is the way to happiness.

32. Help

If someone begs anything and if that be in your hand or power and if you can grant the request, give it. Do not say, ‘NO’. If you have nothing to give them, give a polite negative reply but do not mock or ridicule the applicant nor get angry with him.

33. Hospitality

No one comes to us without Rinanubandha (some previous bond of give and take). So when any dog, cat, pig, fly or person approaches you, do not drive it or him away with the words ‘Hat - Hat’, ‘Jit - Jit’.

34. Inquiry

Inquire always : Who am I ?

35. Introspection

We must see things for ourselves. What good is there in going about asking for this man or that for his views and experiences.

36. Liberation

Service at the feet of Guru is essential to attain moksha (liberation).

37. Lust

A person who has not overcome lust cannot see (realise) God.

38. Name Chanting

If you do this - chanting ‘Raja Ram’, your mind will attain peace and you will be immensely benefited.

39. Non-possession

Everything belongs to us for use. Nothing is for us to possess.

40. Omnipresence

I am not confined within this body of three and a half cubic height ; I am everywhere. See me in every place.

41. Oneness

The dog which you saw before meals and to which you gave the piece of bread is one with Me, so also other creatures (cats, pigs, flies, cows, et cetera.) are one with me. I am roaming in their forms. So abandon the sense of duality and serve Me as you did today (by feeding that dog).

 42. Poverty

Poverty is the highest of riches and superior to Lord’s position. God is brother of the poor. Faqir is the real Emperor. Faqir does not perish, but empire is soon lost.

43. Quarrel

If anybody comes and abuses you or punishes you, do not quarrel with him. If you cannot endure it, speak a simple word or two, or else go away from that place. But do not battle with him and behave like this.

44. Questioning

Mere questioning is not enough. The question must not be made with any improper motive or attitude or to trap the Guru and catch him at mistakes in the answer, or out of idle curiosity. It must be with a view to achieving moksha or spiritual progress.

45. Reality

Brahma is the only ‘Reality’ and the Universe is ephemeral and no one in this world, be the son, father or wife, is really ours.

46. Saints

Daily take darshan of Siddhas, i.e., perfect saints. Live a moral life. Then you will be pure even in death.

47. Self-realisation

The idea that "I am the body" is a great illusion, and attachment to this idea is the cause of bondage. Leave this idea and therefore the attachment, if you want to reach the goal of self-realisation.

48. Service

Seva (serving) is not rendering service while still retaining the feeling that one is free to offer or refuse service. One must feel that he is not the master of the body, that the body is Guru’s and exists merely to render service to Him.

49. Sin

Inflicting pain on others by body, mind and speech is sin, the reverse is merit, good.

50. Support

Come what may, stick to your Support, i.e., Guru, and ever remain steady, always in union with Him.

51. Surrender

It is my special characteristic to free any person who surrenders completely to Me and who does worship Me faithfully and who remembers Me and meditates on Me constantly.

52. Truth

You should have  truth always with you. Then I will be always with you, wheresoever you are and at all times.

53. Unity

Rama and Rahim were one and the same ; there was not the least difference between them ; then why should  chennai to shirdi flight packages   their devotees fall out and quarrel among themselves ? You ignorant folk, children, join hands and bring both communities together, act sanely and thus you will gain your object of national unity.

54. Vicissitudes of Life

Gain and loss, birth and death, are in the hands of God. But how blindly people forget that God looks after life as long as it lasts !

55. Wordly Honour

Do not be deluded by wordly honour. The form of the deity should be firmly fixed in the mind. Let all the senses and mind be ever devoted to the worship of the Lord.

 chennai to shirdi flight packages

[myshirdi9seo-blog]

chennai to shirdi flight package

Precious Sayings of Shri Shirdi Sai Baba

 1. Action - Karma

This deha prarabdha (present birth) is the result of the karma (action) done by you in the former births.

2. Assurance

If a man utters My name with love, I shall fulfill all his wishes and increase his devotion. If he sings earnestly about My life and deeds, him I shall beset in front and back and on all sides.

3. Beauty

We have not to bother about beauty or ugliness of the person, but to concentrate solely on God underlying that form.

4. Charity

The donor gives, that is, sows his seeds, only to reap a rich harvest in future. Wealth should be meant to work out Dharma. If it is not given before, you do not get it now. So, the best way to receive it is to give.

5. Contentment

One must rest content with one’s lot.

 6. Dakshina

The giving of dakshina (reverential gift) advances vairagya (non-attachment) and thereby bhakthi (devotion).

7. Death

None dies ; see with your inner eyes. Then you will realise that you are God and not different from Him. Like worn-out garments the body is cast away.

8. Illusion (Maya)

Whenever any idea of joy or sorrow arises in your mind, resist it. Do not give room to it. It is pure maya (illusion).

9. Destiny

Whosoever is destined to be struck will be struck. Whosoever is to die will die. Whosoever is to be caressed will be caressed.

10. Discrimination

There are two sorts of things - the good and the pleasant. Both these things approach a man for acceptance. He has to think and choose one of them. The wise man prefers the good to the pleasant but the unwise, through greed and attachment, chooses the pleasant and thereby cannot gain Brahma gyana (self-realisation).

11. Devotee

He who withdraws his heart from wife, child, and parents and loves me is My real lover or devotee and he merges in me like a river in the sea.

12. Devotion

Knowledge of the Vedas or fame as a great jnani (learned scholar) of formal bhajan (worship) are of no avail unless they are accompanied by bhakthi (devotion).

13. Differences

People differentiate between themselves and others, their properties with others' properties. This is wrong. I am in you and you are in Me. Meditate on the self with a question "Who am I ?"

14. Duty

Unless a man discharges satisfactorily and disinterestedly the duties of his station in life, his mind will not be purified.

15. Egoism

The teachings of a Guru are of no use to a man who is full of egoism and who always thinks about sense-objects.

16. Enemy

Who is whose enemy ? Do not say of anyone that he is your enemy. All are one and the same.

17. Equanimity

Let the world go topsy-turvy, you remain where you are. Standing or staying at your own place, look calmly at the show of all things passing before you.

18. Exploitation

Nobody should take the labour of others' gratis. The worker should be paid his dues promptly and liberally.

19. Feeding

Know for certain that he who feeds the hungry, really serves Me with food. Regard this as an axiomatic truth.

20. Food

Sitting in the masjid (mosque) I shall never, never speak untruth. Take pity on Me like this : first give bread to the hungry and then eat yourself. Note this well.

21. Forbearance

Our Karma is the cause of happiness and sorrow. Therefore, put up with whatever comes to you.

22. God

God lives in all beings and creatures, whether they be serpents or scorpions. He is the greatest wirepuller of the world, and all beings, serpents, scorpions, et cetera, obey His command.

23. God’s Gifts

What a man gives does not last long and it is always imperfect. But what my sircar (God) gives, lasts to the end of life. No other gift from any man can be compared to His.

24. God’s Grace

You must always adhere to truth and fulfill all the promises you make. Have shraddha (faith) and saburi (patience). Then I will always be with you, wherever you are.

25. God’s Will

Unless God wills it, nobody meets us on the way ; unless God wills, nobody can do any harm to us.

26. Goodness

If you act in a good way, good will really follow.

27. Greed

Greed and Brahma are poles asunder ; they are eternally opposed to each other. Where there is greed, there is no room for thought or meditation of the Brahma. Then how can a greedy man get dispassion and salvation.

28. Guru

Stick to your own Guru with unabated faith, whatever the merits of other gurus and however little the merits of your own.

29. Guru’s Grace

The mother tortoise is on one bank of the river and her young ones are on the other. She gives neither milk nor warmth to them. Her mere glance gives them warmth. The young ones do nothing but remember (meditate upon) their mother. The tortoise glance is, to the young ones, a downpour of nectar, the only source of sustenance and happiness. Similar is the relationship between the Guru and his disciples.

30. Humility

Humility is not towards all. Severity is necessary in dealing with the wicked.

31. Happiness

If others hate us, let us take to nama Japa (chanting of God’s name) and avoid them. Do not bark at people ; do not be pugnacious. Bear with others' reproach. This is the way to happiness.

32. Help

If someone begs anything and if that be in your hand or power and if you can grant the request, give it. Do not say, ‘NO’. If you have nothing to give them, give a polite negative reply but do not mock or ridicule the applicant nor get angry with him.

33. Hospitality

No one comes to us without Rinanubandha (some previous bond of give and take). So when any dog, cat, pig, fly or person approaches you, do not drive it or him away with the words ‘Hat - Hat’, ‘Jit - Jit’.

34. Inquiry

Inquire always : Who am I ?

35. Introspection

We must see things for ourselves. What good is there in going about asking for this man or that for his views and experiences.

36. Liberation

Service at the feet of Guru is essential to attain moksha (liberation).

37. Lust

A person who has not overcome lust cannot see (realise) God.

38. Name Chanting

If you do this - chanting ‘Raja Ram’, your mind will attain peace and you will be immensely benefited.

39. Non-possession

Everything belongs to us for use. Nothing is for us to possess.

40. Omnipresence

I am not confined within this body of three and a half cubic height ; I am everywhere. See me in every place.

41. Oneness

The dog which you saw before meals and to which you gave the piece of bread is one with Me, so also other creatures (cats, pigs, flies, cows, et cetera.) are one with me. I am roaming in their forms. So abandon the sense of duality and serve Me as you did today (by feeding that dog).

 42. Poverty

Poverty is the highest of riches and superior to Lord’s position. God is brother of the poor. Faqir is the real Emperor. Faqir does not perish, but empire is soon lost.

43. Quarrel

If anybody comes and abuses you or punishes you, do not quarrel with him. If you cannot endure it, speak a simple word or two, or else go away from that place. But do not battle with him and behave like this.

44. Questioning

Mere questioning is not enough. The question must not be made with any improper motive or attitude or to trap the Guru and catch him at mistakes in the answer, or out of idle curiosity. It must be with a view to achieving moksha or spiritual progress.

45. Reality

Brahma is the only ‘Reality’ and the Universe is ephemeral and no one in this world, be the son, father or wife, is really ours.

46. Saints

Daily take darshan of Siddhas, i.e., perfect saints. Live a moral life. Then you will be pure even in death.

47. Self-realisation

The idea that "I am the body" is a great illusion, and attachment to this idea is the cause of bondage. Leave this idea and therefore the attachment, if you want to reach the goal of self-realisation.

48. Service

Seva (serving) is not rendering service while still retaining the feeling that one is free to offer or refuse service. One must feel that he is not the master of the body, that the body is Guru’s and exists merely to render service to Him.

49. Sin

Inflicting pain on others by body, mind and speech is sin, the reverse is merit, good.

50. Support

Come what may, stick to your Support, i.e., Guru, and ever remain steady, always in union with Him.

51. Surrender

It is my special characteristic to free any person who surrenders completely to Me and who does worship Me faithfully and who remembers Me and meditates on Me constantly.

52. Truth

You should have truth always with you. Then I will be always with you, wheresoever you are and at all times.

53. Unity

Rama and Rahim were one and the same ; there was not the least difference between them ; then why should their devotees fall out and quarrel among themselves ? You ignorant folk, children, join hands and bring both communities together, act sanely and thus you will gain your object of national unity.

54. Vicissitudes of Life

Gain and loss, birth and death, are in the hands of God. But how blindly people forget that God looks after life as long as it lasts !

55. Wordly Honour

Do not be deluded by wordly honour. The form of the deity should be firmly fixed in the mind. Let all the senses and mind be ever devoted to the worship of the Lord.

chennai to shirdi flight package