#highway robbery

[nesperus]

quick doodle from last night for your troubles

[phantomrose96]

Our building washing machine broke. And I've ordered a new one but the processing and delivery is a whole thing so in the meantime I'm in Laundromat City. And luckily the nearest laundromat is like barely a block away and it sits on this 1.25-mile triangle of streets that I sometimes run laps on. So really not a bad deal since I can put in laundry and then do my run until it finishes.

But I can't shake this perspective that I'm like, I throw my clothes in the big wet machine and get so excited about it I have to go be zoomie about it in circles for 30 minutes until the machine stops and I take my wet clothes back. Apex predator behavior.

[7cfc00]

i love ur art style !!! requesting u to pls draw scam and jodie being silly and in love

thx! this one's also for the other person who requested scam/jodie... i didnt know so many people enjoy this ship lol

[lulublack90]

Prompt 3 - Historical AU

@wolfstarmicrofic April 3, word count 706

The carriage bumped and bounced along the road towards London. It was doing nothing to help Remus’s sore body. He’d used his last coin to hire this abysmal transport to get him home, too tired to walk the final few miles.

At some point, he must have dozed off. He woke sliding off the bench as the carriage came to a sudden halt. He pulled himself into a sitting position and spotted the line of trees on either side of the carriage through its windows. This wasn’t London. So why were they stopping? 

“Stand and deliver! Your money or your life!” A strong voice called out. He heard a thump and the sound of fleeing footsteps. 

A trickle of fear ran through Remus because, if he wasn’t very much mistaken, it sounded like his driver had just abandoned him to a highway robbery. 

He heard the crunch of sauntering boots approaching the carriage door. He didn’t have a gun or anything to protect himself with. He had no idea what he was going to do. 

The handle clicked down, and slowly, the door swung open to reveal a broad-shouldered man with long dark curls and high cheekbones. Half of his face was covered with a fine black scarf with two eyeholes cut out of it. He missed the words the man spoke as Remus found himself lost in the stormy grey eyes that stared down at him. 

S-s-sorry. What did you say?” He stammered when those wild eyes narrowed at him. 

“I told you to turn out your pockets, pretty boy.” The highwayman smirked at him. Remus swallowed but did as he was told.

He had a handkerchief, a tattered notebook and pencil, and a cloth with a wedge of cheese and half an apple wrapped tightly in it. The highwayman did not look impressed. 

“Purse,” He ordered. Remus held it out to him. The man snatched it and pulled the strings apart. He greedily looked inside. His brow furrowed, and he looked back up at Remus, confusion clouding his eyes. “Did you swallow it?” He asked. “Or have you hidden it elsewhere?” His eyes flicked down to Remus’s britches, implying heavily where he suspected Remus to have hidden his possessions. Remus shook his head. 

“No, I swear I used my last coin to hire this,” He gestured to the carriage. “I was heading home and couldn’t walk any further.” He met the highwayman’s eyes sadly. “Please, I don’t have anything. Believe me, I’d give it to you if I did, but I don’t. Unless you want my dinner?” He laughed weakly. He had no idea why he was making a joke in this situation, but something about the man made him. 

“Wait, that’s your dinner? In its entirety?” The highwayman asked. Remus shrugged. He’d had less. “Boots?” The highwayman tried instead. Remus held up his almost worn-through shoes. The leather was so thin in places you could almost see through it. The highwayman huffed and ran his fingers frustratedly through his hair. “Right, that’s it. You’re coming with me.” Remus paled. 

“I must warn you I won’t be worth much. I’m regularly ill, and my joints are almost constantly sore.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” The highwayman chuckled quietly. “We have plenty of food back at the camp, and I was inviting you to come and get something warm.”

“Oh,” Remus didn’t know what to say to that. So he just blinked, slightly overwhelmed. “I do need to be getting home.” He looked around. It couldn’t be that hard to drive one of these things. The highwayman seemed to sense what he was thinking. 

“I’m taking the horse and carriage.”

“In that case, I’d be honoured to accompany you for dinner.” He held out his hand, accepting his fate and going with it. “Remus,” He introduced himself. 

“Sirius,” The highwayman took his hand. He bent his head low and brushed his lips across Remus’s knuckles. Oh, Remus thought, his brain short-circuiting. Gently, he pulled Remus’s hand until Remus was on his feet. He followed him willingly into the forest. Leaving the rest of the robbers, whom he hadn’t even noticed while being enchanted by Sirius, to remove any signs that they’d been there at all.    

[blue-deneb]

images that will never leave my head

[apathetic-microwave]

this is so last minute but take it (also fun fact: the demon jodie gets his stats from is 12 feet tall)

[dailymtgflavortext]

The fires weren't even out before the backstabbing began.

-Highway Robbery

[coolestclowns]

Dearest Anthony and jimmy, stop being pussies and make scam and jodie awful TOGETHER, allow them to kiss again, I beg of thee.

[briarpatch-kids]

What plants are you gonna put in your garden? The most successful thing I’ve grown are cucumbers

So far I've got tomatoes, peppers, and ground cherry started but they don't go out till may. I've turned my entire yard into a garden slowly, so I've got peas, beans, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, melons, summer squash, and cucumbers along with some other stuff. I keep trying cucumbers but I've been having bad luck out back so I'm trying out front this year.

This year I'm trying to grow a really wide variety, we eat out of the garden at least 3 meals a week in the summer. I might do the farmers market if things go well and I have extra produce. They double food stamps and seniors get vouchers for fresh produce and eggs but there's hardly any sellers and very little variety.

[sports-drugs-entertainment]

THE MILLION DOLLAR BABY 🤲🏾

[lastoneout]

CORAL ISLAND FULL OFFICIAL RELEASE NOVEMBER 14TH OH GOD I CAN'T BREATHE

[nesperus]

(kind of a request) what’s the height difference like between your jodie and scam?

well

[arborix]

awesome I may have come into contact with Covid and the free tests from USPS was discontinued 🙃

[calicoclovers]

playing tug of war with borrowed time

[for @ghostsessioned, one amongst many, thank you 🌖❤️]

[torse]

AU / headcanon scene - "Highway Robbery"

this is for the Notkin shapeshifter AU.. I don't know how it connects to the main story, if at all, so right now it's just a standalone.

the cat mentioned is Notkin

also I tried typing this one out more but I'm shit at writing so 🙃 sorry if it reads like a shitty fanfic

an older man from out of town is sitting in a pub, explaining to his friend why he's had a sudden interest in baking. the old man had been showing up with a pie in one hand and a glum look on his face for the past few weeks. the friend guffaws in disbelief upon hearing about the "polite 3 legged giant cat that liked meat pies" but a few months prior, the old man was travelling by horse and carriage to visit his friend in town. it was a weekly ordeal and usually a pleasant trip but one day he had been ambushed by a a blur of teeth and claws- his horse spooked immediately, and while attempting to calm the beast and avoid running off the road, the cat had wrestled off a sack of provisions from where it was secured to the wagon and made off into the woods again. surprisingly, no harm was done, although the old man was sorely missing his midday snack a few hours later the cat was intelligent, and quickly caught on to the old man's schedule and would show up around the same time each week. the old man, terrified at first, soon came to the realization that the big cat always opted to go for his cheese and bread sack rather than the bigger more obvious meals... being himself and his horse so, by the old man's logic, he figured that the cat was just polite. as far as big monstrous cats go. so for the next trip he baked a meat pie- "you baked a pie. for a lion-" "it had spots it wasn't no lion-" although still terrified, and far from making friends with the cat, when the old man offered the pie, it was quickly (and gently!) snatched from his hands. immediately scurrying off without even a glance over its shoulder- the old man still considered it a win. the next few "visits", the old man tried a few variations of the recipe. although the cat never stuck around to give a review, it always vanished when it obtained its meal, the old man still wanted to perfect his offering to the beast as for why the old man has been looking so glum recently, well, the cat abruptly stopped showing up. several weeks ago, the old man had neared the "feline visitation zone" and commanded his horse to slow to a halt for the pie handoff. thankfully, the horse had grown accustomed to the cat, after their meetings became less chaotic and much gentler. but now she looked a bit uneasy again.. and the cat wasn't unusually late "a lion that's polite AND punctual?" eventually the cat did show, slinking from the treeline and pausing to listen for danger every few steps. the old man had noticed awhile ago that it was missing a leg and covered in scars.. maybe he's skittish of a bigger, less polite cat? a terrifying thought- the cat made it to the man and his horse, taking a moment to sniff and rub against the latter, before slowly approaching the older man. he was already holding out the pie, hand leaving enough space for the cat to grab it without biting a finger- but that day the cat bypassed the pie. and instead laid his big head on the old man's lap. the old man, although having made nice with the cat for several weeks, was still terrified at the proximity. he didn't dare try to pet it like a common house cat. though the man did notice that there was a faint tremor.. maybe it was sick after a few minutes of tense held breath, and mutual silent observation, the cat lifted its head and headed back to the treeline for the last time. "poor guy must've been sick-" "sick of your damned pies I bet, hah!" the old man still brought a meat pie with him on his travels, but hasn't seen the cat again since

silly additional thing:

maybe there were rumors being spread about a monster attacking travelers on the road- and this old guy is just like "oh yeah that's Barthalomew, he likes my famous meat pies!!"

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"GIRLS HOLD UP TESSIER HOTEL MAN," Saskatoon Star-Phoenix. July 10, 1933. Page 3. ---- Norman Oglestone Is Victim of Amazons Close to Perdue --- MANHANDLED AND ROBBED OF MONEY === 35-YEAR-OLD BACHELOR SO TERRIFIED HE FORGETS TO TAKE CAR NUMBER ==== Special to The Star-Phoenix TESSIER, Sask., July 10. - Still uneasy over his terrifying experience, Norman Oglestone, 35-year-old Tessier business man, at present manager of the Lakeview Hotel here, told the police this morning that he was held up by three unarmed young women near Perdue at 3 o'clock Sunday afternoon and robbed of his money and some valuables. The trio, aged about 20, 22 and 28, and one of them mannish and ferocious in appearance, so impressed Oglestone that he did not stop to report the crime at Perdue.

LEAVE IN CAR Oglestone had been visiting Perdue and was on his return to Tessier when he met up with the amazons. Four miles east of Perdue the girls signalled to him to stop, ostensibly to inquire how far it was to Perdue. Immediately his Chevrolet coach drew to a stop one of the trio jumped in. All three became unduly familiar. One tugged at Oglestone's suspenders, a second attempted to pull off his shirt, and the third helped herself to his money, a few dollars. Just how much money was taken could not be ascertained this morning. The valuables included a pair of silver sleeve bands. Oglestone was permitted to retain the watch. When they were finished with Oglestone, the women entered a coach and drove away west. Their victim was so frightened that he forgot to take the license number of their car.

Oglestone is about 35 years of age and unmarried.