#the high school ones are also good kids i promise. please work your way up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

asahicore · 11 months ago

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bad news first - sjy (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface. genre. college au, childhood friends to ???? to lovers, painful mutual pining, one bed trope..... a sprinkle of angst (my hand slipped) but mostly fluff i promise and smut (mdni!!!), also i made sunghoon really weird in this and idkw, this is set in scotland.. edinburgh uni rep!! word count. 23k author's note. everybody say happy belated birthday to @zreamy.. happy belated birthday zo!!! being 22 years and 6 days old is cooler than just 22 years old anyway.. hope you like it bestie... if you dont... well theres a building on campus thats 17 stories high sooo.. enjoy! i hope everyone else enjoys too, since this is a bday fic for zo she couldnt beta read so i had to raw dog this so if its terrible.. not my fault! lmk what u think!! i also made a playlist for this, do listen along!!

“Alright kids, good news or bad news first?”

You looked at your teacher, then at the boy next to you, then back at your teacher. “Bad news first,” you said in unison.

You were only eight, but you were both wise enough to know that hearing good news second would assuage the blow of whatever these bad news were. Miss Dawson sighed as she crouched in front of you. “The bad news is your bus driver is on strike and won’t be coming. The good news is that your parents have been informed and are coming to pick you up soon.”

Following her instructions, you headed to the gymnasium and sat there silently among the other kids. Not many kids in your class rode the bus home, and the ones who did seemed to have drivers not on strike, so it was just the two of you. You were used to that, though - over January and February, you had made a sort of silent pact to stand and wait for the bus together. You sometimes shared snacks, but you never spoke. For some reason, you felt at ease with this boy, even though you didn’t know much about him. You had heard he had moved to Brisbane just at the start of this year, all the way from South Korea. You were pretty sure his name was Jake.

You handed him one of your Twix bars. Then he spoke. “I thought a strike was when you did really well in bowling.”

“Same,” you replied, mouth full of chocolate and caramel. “I’m not sure why that would keep the bus driver from picking us up.”

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, distress clear in them. “Do you think he went bowling instead of picking us up?”

This made you frown. “That’d be really rude.”

“It would. I always make sure to go bowling on the weekends, ‘cause if I missed school that’d be rude to Miss Dawson.”

You nodded your head in fervent agreement. “For sure.”

That weekend, his mum called your mum to ask if you wanted to go to the bowling alley with them. From then on, for the next six years, you were stuck together by glue.

Twelve years later, Jake’s name appearing on your phone screen has become such a rare sight, you don’t believe it right away. It takes you a few seconds of intense squinting at the letters to actually realise your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

jake.sim15 hey y/n!! you go to edinburgh uni right?

You type and delete three different responses before settling for a simple yeah, I am! what’s up?, hoping you sounded nonchalant even though you very much felt chalant. You thought that whatever you sent wouldn’t be as weird as taking forever to answer such a straightforward question.

As you wait for Jake’s reply, you scroll through your previous shared messages, noting with sadness that for three years in a row, the only instances you’d texted were to wish each other a happy birthday or when he reacted with a fire emoji to Stories of your dog, Milo. Before that, your last conversation was to congratulate each other about getting into your top choice universities and to discuss plans for your respective futures.

Futures that used to include each other, you think. His reply appears at the bottom of your screen before melancholy can fill your heart.

jake.sim15 i applied to go there for my year abroad next year annnnd i got in !! heh

You shoot up straight from your seat on the lounge chaise you’d been sunbathing on, a loud “Oh my God!” involuntarily escaping your mouth.

“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” Chaewon asks frantically, rushing over to your side. “Oh,” she says when she sees your phone. “It’s a text… from a boy?”

This makes Yunjin, previously unbothered by your panic, rise from her seat and take off her sunglasses. “A boy? Show me,” she demands, snatching your phone from your hands before you can protest. Upon seeing the texts on your screen, she lets out a loud gasp. “It’s not just any boy! It’s the one and only Jake Sim himself.”

“Give that back!” you plead, hand reaching for your phone, but Yunjin is already walking away.

“And he’s coming to Edi this September, apparently. He says he’s sorry for not saying anything earlier, but he was waiting for an answer up until now.” She scoffs. “Leave it to our uni to tell someone they’re in less than two months before term starts. Oh, you’re the first person he’s told, Y/N! After his parents. How cute,” she coos, protesting when you snatch your phone back from her. “Hey! I was reading that.”

“Those are my texts, Yunjin. I’m the one who’s meant to read them.”

She shrugs. “You would’ve told us anyway.”

“What are you going to reply?” Chaewon asks. With the both of them hovering over your shoulders and watching as you type a response, a sort of stage fright comes over you, making you send what might be the most unoriginal reply known to man.

“Awesome? Seriously, Y/N?” Yunjin reads, disproportionately disgusted with you.

“That’s a lot of exclamation marks. It almost makes it look like you don’t mean it,” Chaewon says.

“I do mean it!”

“Well, he seems to like it. A smiling-with-teeth emoji is a good sign, right?” she asks in an attempt to make you feel better.

“He has automatic caps off. That man is run-through,” Yunjin says, shaking her head as she walks back to her sunbed.

“You were excited about him texting me just a second ago,” you reproach.

“Yeah, before I found out he was a whore.”

“Yunjin, you know we don't slut-shame here!” Chaewon exclaims. Before Yunjin can say anything even worse in response, your phone starts ringing, and Jake’s name appears on your screen. “He’s calling you?” Chaewon gasps, making Yunjin sit up with a start for the second time in less than five minutes.

“This man is insane,” she remarks with all the seriousness in the world.

You run away from your friends, finding refuge in the outside kitchen area out of earshot. They don’t need to hear your conversation with Jake. You love them, but they can be weirdly unsupportive in moments like these.

“Hey, Jake,” you greet, hoping he doesn’t notice the breathlessness in your voice. It was because you had just ran, of course - you didn’t want him to think you were so nervous about talking to him after such a long time, you could barely breathe. Because you weren’t. At all.

“Hey, Y/N!” he replies, and the excitement in his voice makes your heart melt. “I hope it’s not weird that I called, I just thought it’d be nicer than texting, is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s nice to hear your voice,” you say before you can really think about it, and cringe at your own words. Years without talking and the world’s worst line is the first thing you say to Jake. Thankfully, before you start excruciating yourself, a chuckle pours out of Jake’s throat and blesses your ears.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too. What are you up to?”

“Oh, I’m on vacation with my friends. One of them has a rich aunt who owns a villa in southern Italy, so we’re just chilling by the pool right now.”

“You always wanted to go to Italy! That sounds so nice,” he says. Your breath catches gently in your throat - he remembers, you note.

“Yeah, it really is. What about you, how are you spending the summer?”

Jake tells you about the local bookstore owned by a grandpa that’s always had a soft spot for him and that gave him a part-time job for the summer. “I’m trying to save up as much money as I can before I leave. If I treat you to a meal, will you show me around the city?” he asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice. It makes you realise how much you’ve actually missed him.

“You don’t need to treat me to a meal, I’ll show you around anyway.”

Still, he insists, and you find yourself giving in quickly - because it’s Jake or because free food is on the table, you’re not sure. Probably both.

You and Jake get to talking, but fitting years and years of catching up into one conversation is an impossible task, and before you know it, when you check your phone, you’ve been talking for over an hour. Yunjin is angrily waving at you, pointing at her stomach to indicate hunger like a caveman who’s just learned how to communicate. You apologise to Jake, telling him you have to go, and plan to meet during fresher’s week before you hang up.

A few hours later, you get a text from him saying it was nice talking to you and jokingly asking whether Yunjin was satisfied with lunch. It’s innocuous, but it opens a gate for more texting, which leads to long, rambling voice messages, which leads to late-night phone calls that remind you of when you were fifteen and still kept in touch. When August fades into September, you feel like you’ve got your best friend back.

You remember why you were so in love with him at fourteen.

You see Jake before he sees you.

Among the throngs of people, you manage to spot the dark, messy flop of hair on his head weighed down by a nice pair of wireless headphones. After a thirteen-hour flight from Seoul, a four-hour layover in Frankfurt and a final, two-hour flight to Edinburgh, he looks rightfully exhausted, using what looks like the last of his energy to spot the exit and the airport bus stop. Even wearing a simple denim jacket, white tee and grey sweatpants, he’s so gorgeous you forget what you came here for, until he almost walks right past you without seeing you. You put yourself in his path and hold your hand-written banner up, making yourself as obvious as you can as you call out his name.

When he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks for a second, someone almost running into him before he remembers the crowd behind him. His tired features break out into a bright smile that has your heartbeat speeding up so much, you think it might run out of your chest.

He had told you not to come, that it would be late for you and he didn’t want to bother you, but you had managed to get the information of his arrival before he forbade you from picking him up so you did it anyway, wanting to surprise him. After years of being apart, rather than waiting another day, you wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Jake briskly makes his way to you, dropping his bags next to him on the floor as he engulfs you in a hug, warm and tight as if he’s trying to make up for all those years. You hug him back as if someone would appear out of thin air and take him away from you again.

“This was the longest day of my life, I’m so happy to see you,” he says when he pulls away, and you’re so happy you can’t even say anything back, resorting to giggling and lightly swatting non-existent dust off of his shoulders.

As you wait for the bus, he tells you about every trivial thing that happened to him on his trip, from how expensive a sandwich is at the airport to the German kid sitting in front of him that kept turning around to stare at him on his second flight.

“How did you know he was German?” you ask, amused.

Jake pauses. “Just vibes.”

Conversation on the bus is slightly disjointed as you jump from topic to topic with random pauses here and there before one of you finds something to talk about - but it’s okay, you hadn’t expected for the two of you to be as easy as before. It’s more awe at seeing each other after such a long time than awkwardness. Even though you’d caught up over summer, there was a world of difference between speaking on the phone and actually sitting next to him. You notice things like the shine of his hair, the creases that form on the sides of his lips when he smiles, or, unfortunately for you, the veins that run along his forearms and hands - things you hadn’t noticed previously thanks to the sometimes questionable quality of the front camera of his phone. Once in a while, your thigh brushes against his, and it reminds you that he’s really here. Even that he’s real, at all.

In a tragic turn of events, Jake lives in the student accommodation you used to live in in first year, and coming back to it two years later is slightly traumatising. His three-person flat is in a different building as your old one, and you marvel at how it somehow still smells the same - like dusty, decade-old carpeting and the permanent stench of students’ dubitable cooking. He’s the first one to move in, which makes the place slightly eerie, but it means that you’re not bothering anyone by unpacking Jake’s stuff and cooking Shin Ramyun the previous tenants had left behind at 11pm.

Your late dinner was meant for you to take a small break, watch a couple episodes of Friends which Jake had been shocked to learn you’d never watched, and you had been shocked to learn he was a die-hard fan of (since one year ago), then get back to unpacking. But the ramen sends an already exhausted Jake into a food coma so intense, he falls asleep on your shoulder five minutes into the second episode.

You let him sleep as long as he needs, turning the volume down on his laptop and stifling your chuckles as much as you can. You feel like a cat has fallen asleep in your lap - you are now obliged by law to stay still until Jake wakes up. It’s not until an hour later that Jake’s uncomfortable sleeping position forces him awake, lifting his head off of your shoulder with a grunt. He looks around himself, at his room that’s not quite familiar to him yet, then at you, eyes still scrunched with sleepiness as a grin blooms onto his lips.

“Sorry,” clearing his throat of its grogginess. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one a.m,” you reply, and his eyes go wide.

“You should’ve woken me up! Does your shoulder hurt?” he asks, much more alarmed than he should be, and it makes you laugh.

“It’s all good. But now that you’re awake, I should probably head home.”

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he says, already pulling out his phone.

“It’s fine, Jake, my place is a ten-minute walk from here. I live just up the road.”

Jake’s fingers on his phone pause as he looks up at you. “Then I’ll walk you home.” He lifts a finger in warning when he sees you start to protest. “And don’t fight me on this. You did so much today, it’s the least I can do.”

As much as you love the idea of spending more time with Jake, even if it’s just ten minutes, you still don’t want to bother him when you know how tired he is. “It’s really safe around here. I can just text you when I’m home, if you’re worried about me getting kidnapped or something,” you say, taking his jacket from his hands and placing it back on his desk chair.

He grabs it back, putting it on before you can take it from him again, and rummages through one of his suitcases for a black, woolly scarf. Neither of you speaks as he wraps it tight around your neck, even though the early September weather isn’t cold enough to warrant it. His hands stop briefly on the scarf and a small smile spreads on his lips. You hope he doesn’t hear your sharp intake of breath when your eyes meet. “It’s not about that,” he says simply, voice low and unlike you’ve ever heard it before. You don’t think his voice had quite finished cracking when he’d moved away back then.

Suddenly, he steps away, grabs his keys, and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he says, voice back to its usual cheery tone. You don’t find it in you to question him, so you just follow him out, welcoming the night breeze that cools down your burning cheeks with open arms.

The walk to your place is mostly done in comfortable silence, but it still goes by too quickly for your liking. You keep your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing something stupid, like reaching out for Jake’s hand that swishes back-and-forth as he walks. Instead, you bury your nose in his scarf and relish in the unfamiliar but comforting smell that his cologne has left behind on the fabric. You hug goodbye when you reach your flat, and you have to remind yourself to let go. He insists on you keeping the scarf. “My mum packed me, like, three, so you can have that one.”

“Your mum still pack your things for you, does she?” you ask, tone playful.

“No-” he says, voice slightly whiny, before he realises you’re just teasing him. “Whatever,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You hope the streetlights aren’t bright enough for him to notice the flustered look on your face. The both of you stand there awkwardly for a second, before he lets out another chuckle. “Right. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you beam.

“Okay,” he says, but still doesn’t make a move to leave. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll be off then.” He gives you one last smile then turns around, burying his hands in his pockets, and you watch as he walks away.

“Get home safe,” you call out after a few seconds.

He pivots on his heels, and, with a wave of his hand, says, “I will! Go inside.”

“Good night!”

“Night, Y/N!”

When you walk into your living room, Yunjin is sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, gaze trained on the wall opposite her, one lamp lighting the otherwise completely dark room. She looks like a detective in one of those bad cop shows.

“Gosh, what’s all this for?”

“You’re back awfully late,” she says, neither looking at you nor answering your question.

“Yeah, I was with Jake,” you shrug, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. She abruptly gets up from her seat, following you into the other room and staying close behind you.

“And?” she demands, mouth way too close to your ear and making you start.

“And what?” you ask.

“What do you mean and what?!” she says, clearly agitated. “I want to know everything!”

“There’s nothing to say, really. He seemed happy I picked him up from the airport, then I helped him unpack. He lives in Riego, by the way.”

“Ew.”

“I know, it was awful going back there.”

The two of you stare at each other as you drink your water. “Well?” she asks.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

You fill your glass again to take it into your bedroom. “I don’t know, we just ate and watched Friends.”

“You hate shows with laughing tracks,” she states like it’s an accusation.

“It wasn’t actually that bad,” you reply, shrugging.

She tuts. “Love will do ugly, ugly things to a person.”

“You’ve been in a loving relationship for the past two years.”

“This isn’t about me. Can we talk about how you’re still in love with the same loser from when you were ten?”

“I was fourteen, and don’t call Jake a loser when you haven’t even met him.” You ignore the roll of her eyes. “And I’m not. Not anymore. I’m just happy to have my friend back.” Yunjin gives you a look. “Okay, maybe I’m still a little bit in love with him. But it’s so little, it’s barely there.” Her expression is unchangingly unimpressed and you can’t help but throw in the towel. “Alright, fine. I still love him, what about it?”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I know that, no need to remind me.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

“My patheticness? I’ve tried, didn’t really work.”

“No, idiot, about Jake. You should go and get him! It’d be so sexy if you got together as 20-somethings after knowing each other since you were babies.”

“We were eight when we met. And I don’t know if sexy is the word I’d use here.”

“Anything is sexy if you try hard enough,” she says, and you have to laugh. “Anyways, you should confess your undying love and tell him you’ve felt that way since you met.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Guys might not show it, but they probably get all hot for stuff like that. Boosts their ego and shit.”

“Yunjin, I just got my friend back, I’m not gonna risk it. Plus, who knows, I might not actually be in love with him. It might just be my emotions acting up, like, seeing someone I used to like after a while. We’ve both changed so much, once I get to know him more now, I might not even feel the way I used to.”

“Notice how you’ve used the word might twice in ten seconds? You’re just trying to find excuses.”

You groan. “This is why I hate English Lit people.”

“You do English Lit.”

“I know, and I’m the only nice person that does it.” In your head, you add and Jake, but saying it out loud would only make this conversation worse for you.

“What’s that scarf, by the way? Did he give you that?”

You look down at the scarf like it’s a piece of incriminating evidence. “Can you stop grilling me, please? It’s late.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

You sighed deeply. “Fine. Yes, he gave me-”

“It’s not even that cold outside!” she exclaimed in an outrage. “Don’t tell me he also walked you home?”

You pause. “He did.”

She gasped. “He walked you home because he’s in love with you.”

“He walked me home because he’s a good friend that looks after me.”

“He walked you home because he realised how hot you’ve gotten and he wants some of that.”

All you can do is sigh. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

“If you weren’t such a coward, you wouldn’t be going to bed alone.”

“Whatever!” you say, shutting the door behind you, shaking that preposterous conversation out of your head. When you get into bed, it takes you at least half-an-hour before you can settle down, but you know your constant tossing and turning isn’t due to your inability to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Between your evening with Jake and Yunjin’s pestering, thoughts run wild and incoherent through your head.

You want to tell her every little thing that happened with Jake tonight, but you’re afraid it might do you more harm than good. She is most definitely the type of friend who will take the smallest action a guy did for you or the most meaningless thing he might have said and turn it into a sign that he has the hots for you, which usually does wonders for your confidence, but right now, you don’t need that kind of delusion. Did seeing your childhood best friend you used to secretly harbour feelings for make you feel some type of way? Of course, but that doesn’t mean you still love him after all this time, after six years of being apart, the majority of those years spent with no contact. It wasn’t like you parted ways with resentment, or anything of that sort, far from it; rather, you drifted apart naturally, as two teenagers with over 7000 kilometres between them would. At first, you’d call frequently and even write each other letters - but as you became more preoccupied with school, friends, and extracurriculars, your phones gradually rang less and your mailboxes became gradually emptier. You don’t even remember who sent the last, unanswered letter.

Tonight isn’t the first time you replay the moment Jake announced that he would go away, but it’s the first time it’s a bittersweet memory. It used to only be bitter - but now that you’ve reconnected, you can look back at it with fondness, wishing you could tell fourteen-year-old you the hurt would only last so long.

It hadn’t started unusually.

“So, bad news first, right?”

In your six years of friendship with Jake, this had been the first time you’d really been wary of what he would say next. The look on his face told you that this bad news wouldn’t be as easy to shake off as usual. Your definition of bad news was things like I got grounded so I can’t hang out, I forgot we had a test tomorrow so I can’t hang out, my allergies are acting up again so I can’t hang out.

“I’m moving to Korea next month.”

I’m on another continent, so I can’t hang out.

You remember the words not quite making sense at the time. “Oh? How long are you staying there?” you said, taking a bite of your strawberry ice cream which Jake had insisted on paying for, even though you knew he didn’t get much allowance.

“Forever.”

You stopped chewing, and the ice cream melted uncomfortably in your mouth. You don’t know how long you stayed there, frozen as you stared at your best friend in disbelief. It wasn’t until he lightly shoved your shoulder, only meeting your eyes for a split second, that you remembered to swallow and to say something.

“Forever as in… You won’t live here anymore? At all?”

Jake shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the vanilla-chocolate ice cream sandwich he’d left in its wrapper. In the blazing hot Brisbane summer, it had probably fully melted two minutes ago. “At all.”

“Oh,” was all you found yourself able to say. For some reason, you hoped that continuing to eat your ice cream would stop you from crying, but to no avail. Hot, salty tears quickly started raining down your cheeks, mixing with the sweetness of your ice cream when they reached your lips.

“It’s my dad’s work. Same reason why I moved here when we were kids in the first place. They wanted him here then, they want him back there now. We just have to follow,” Jake explained, sounding just as upset as you felt.

“Right.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jake asked, worry clear in his voice, and finally turned to face you. At the sight of you crying, he let out a small oh, tears of his own pooling in his eyes.

You frowned. “Of course not. I’m never mad at you, you know that. I just… You’re my best friend, Jakey. It’s gonna be so lame around here without you.”

“It’ll be lame there without you, too.”

You attempted a smile. “Well, of course. But at least you’ll get to make new friends, see new places. You’ll be in a whole other country, I’m sure you’ll have fun there. I’m gonna be stuck in boring old Brisbane for the foreseeable future.”

“Do you know how offended our friends would be if they heard you speaking right now?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

You sniffled and let out a chuckle. “They’re all great, but… I don’t like them nearly as much as I like you,” you said, staring down at your hands, hoping he wouldn’t realise exactly what you meant by that statement.

A weight was lifted off of your shoulders when Jake answered. “I like you the most too, Y/N.” You tried not to think too much about whether he’d meant it platonically or romantically - none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the feeling of his arms around you, his warmth enveloping your whole body, his familiar scent that you already missed.

You felt him take a deep breath against you before he pulled away. He sniffled and did his best to put on a smile. “Right, enough of that. I’m not leaving until next month, so don’t think you’re rid of me just yet,” he joked, and it helped alleviate the weight on your heart, even if just a little. “You said you had something to tell me? Good news after bad news, and all that.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot about that.”

You thought for a second. Today was the day you had planned to confess your feelings to Jake - you’d only told him you had good news to share. But what was the point now that he was leaving? If he felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if he didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

Jake tilted his head, waiting for you to speak. In a split second, you made yourself forget your disappointment over having built the courage to tell him how you felt only for it all to fall through, and resolved to make the most of Jake’s last month here. You wiped your tears and mirrored his small smile as best you could. “Um, it wasn’t anything much. My mum made those cowboy cookies you like.”

Jake’s head fell back as he groaned in anticipation. “If she wasn’t happily married with three kids, I’d marry your mum. Let’s go right now.”

You laughed. “There’d be a bit of an age gap there.”

“We’d make it work,” Jake joked, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you walked towards your house. He beamed down at you, his bright, boyish smile that you loved to bits, and you beamed up at him as you grabbed the hand that hung off your shoulder in your own.

You walked as happily as you could. “Do you even speak Korean?” you suddenly asked.

Jake halted abruptly in his steps, a gravely offended look on his face. When you looked back at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes and started walking again, pulling you with him. “It’s literally my mother tongue, Y/N. I speak it every day at home.”

“Oh, right.”

At the time, you thought nothing could come between you and Jake. Not anyone, not anything, neither distance nor time. But they did. A week after he’d left, a boy from your class you’d talked to maybe once or twice asked you out on a date. You weren’t sure why, but you said yes. Then you said yes to being his girlfriend, even though you didn’t like him all that much, and you even said yes to reducing your texting with Jake because it made him jealous. When you’d broken up with him and wanted to catch up with Jake and apologise for your absence, you’d found that his new school in Seoul was a lot more demanding than yours in Brisbane, and he had to spend most of his evenings in academies if he wanted to get into a nice university. It’s when you learned that he’d be staying in South Korea for college that you decided to leave Australia too. Brisbane was a lot less fun without him there - why bother staying? You couldn’t go to him because of the language barrier and the cost of university there. If you were to essentially uproot your life, might as well go somewhere you could get a scholarship and understand the people around you.

It seemed insane that someone you had thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, someone that was part of your most cherished memories, had been reduced to someone you casually texted once in a while. It seems even more insane that now that you’re finally done essentially grieving your friendship with Jake, he stands in front of you again, six inches taller but still donning those puppy-like eyes and smile of his.

For your sake, you just hoped you wouldn’t be as in love with him at twenty as you were at fourteen.

The next day, you show Jake around campus, which wouldn’t normally take more than ten minutes, but takes double that time because of the sheer amount of people there. Between the Societies Fair taking up most of the square, the tour guides leading freshers, walking slowly and taking in their new campus, and the pizza and drinks stands, freshers’ week always turns campus into what feels like the busiest place on Earth. You try not to let it hit a nerve for Jake’s sake, who’s clearly ecstatic at all the activity, but you like this place a lot more when it’s quieter. You walk through the Fair, laughing as Jake marvels at all the different clubs and societies at the Uni.

“Gardening Society? Dungeons & Dragons Society? Wine society?” he exclaims, astonishment growing with every passing stand.

“And this is only the first day. They also have a Taylor Swift Society.” He grabs a flyer from about every society, even though you know he’ll join between two to zero of them.

When you walk out, there’s a girl handing out samples of shampoo and conditioner, and you let her give you one, more out of politeness than anything.

“These are so useless,” you start, and Jake chuckles, unaware of the incoming rant. “I had that job of distributing them last year, and we would get a tip if we gave them all out. So naturally I put a bunch in my bag, but then I had to use them for like two weeks.” You sigh. “First of all, my hair did not like it. And second, the ratio is so off. There’s way more conditioner than shampoo when it should be the other way around, so you have to condition your hair even though it’s not properly clean. So stupid.”

“Sounds terrible,” Jake says, laughing. “Is that why you’re not doing it this year?”

“Oh… Not really. I dated the guy that takes care of this promo stuff, so it would’ve been kinda awkward…” you trail, immediately wishing you could backtrack on conversation. Talking about your ex with Jake wasn’t on your to-do list for today. Or ever.

“You dated your boss?”

“The manager, yeah, I guess. He was only 24, though, don’t worry.”

“I’m more worried about the power imbalance than the age gap there.”

You shrug, looking down at your shoes. “It’s not like he was that high up.”

“So, what happened? Why did you break up?”

“Well, he acted like our four-year age difference meant he could treat me like a little kid. It was nice being taken care of at first but then I realised how condescending he was and dumped him.”

“How long were you together?”

You pause. “Two weeks,” you admit abashedly, making Jake chuckle. “At least he didn’t waste my time and showed his red flags early on.”

“Any boyfriends since?” he asks, and you wonder whether you’re making up the unsure tone of his voice. As if he’s curious, but doesn’t want to show it too much. You hope you’re not making it up.

“A few, but they never last very long with me,” you say, a meek smile on your lips. “Furthest I got was three months.”

“And why didn’t it work out with three-months-guy?”

“He started comparing me to his mum a bit too often.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, I ran out of there without looking back.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve got high standards. I would hate to see you date just any loser.”

You want to say, High standards or issues?, but you don’t want to make it weird, so you play it cool instead. “I would never. I have a mental checklist with everything a guy needs to have for me to date him.”

“A checklist? I have to hear about this.”

You sigh, debating whether you should tell him about it. Would he notice it’s based on him? Would he notice the only person that could tick practically every box was none other than him? Jake gently elbows your side, goading you on. When you look at him, he’s got a shit-eating grin playing on his lips, and you give in. You look off into the distance as you start listing your requirements. “Well, there’s all your basics like funny, taller than me but not too much, ‘cause I don’t want neck cramps, smart, takes uni seriously, has plans for his future, easy to talk to, not emotionally stunted and can actually have a vulnerable conversation. It’s also a bonus if he has a nice face.”

“How much of a bonus?”

You think for a second. “It’s more a dealbreaker than a bonus, actually. Nice smile is a must, definitely.”

“Okay. Got any more specifics?”

“I do have some particular ones. It’s nice if he’s a reader, but it’s terrible if it makes him think he’s better than everyone or if he tries to sound smarter than me. I like it if he has experience, I don’t want to have to teach him everything. But obviously I don’t want him to still be in love with his ex. Guys and their first loves, I swear… I also don’t really like picky eaters.” You look over at Jake and take a double-take. He’s typing away on his phone, but because of his privacy screen protector, you can’t see anything. You huff. “I also don’t like it if he has those protective screens on his phone. What’s on there that’s so important that I can’t take a peek? What are you even doing?”

The sweet sound of Jake’s giggles erases any trace of annoyance that you felt seconds ago. He turns his screen towards you, showing the list of mostly ticked boxes that he’s written up. “See? I check most of these,” he says with a proud smile. “Guess your standards aren’t that high.” You don’t tell him that your standards are high, he’s just that amazing.

You do your best to look only amused at this even though inside, you’re all but freaking out. “Which are you missing?”

“Well, I clearly own a privacy screen. And I don’t have much experience. Not nearly as much as you, by the sounds of it,” he admits, somewhat sheepish. “But other than that, I’m practically the perfect man for you.” He looks down at you with a smile so bright, it makes you wish you had brought sunglasses. It takes everything in you not to scream right then and there. Yes, Jake, you are the perfect man for me, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like it was a joke.

You let out a stiff chuckle, and, rather than saying something stupid and possibly damaging, shift the conversation to him. “What do you mean by not much experience? Have you not dated anyone?”

Jake sighs. “Nope, not anyone. I went on a few dates, you know, went through a few talking stages and all that, but it never went much further. There was always something…” He glances at you then. “Missing.”

“I know that feeling,” you say with a chuckle, and he laughs too, a breathy sound.

“I don’t have a checklist to pinpoint what it is, though.”

You smile. “You should try, it might help.”

“I just… I guess I’m like you in that I also have high standards. But it made me not even want to give anyone a chance, especially since I knew it wouldn’t end up anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me no one has ever managed to reach the great Jake Sim’s standards?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course someone has. She’s the whole reason I have standards in the first place. It’s not my standards I compare people to, it’s her.”

Jealousy has never made you feel as sad as it is right now. “And… it didn’t work out between you?”

Jake looks at you, eyes searching for something in yours but seemingly not finding it, and so he turns his gaze away. You don’t know why you feel so disappointed. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “She didn’t feel the same way.”

Whoever this girl is, you can’t believe how stupid she is for passing up the opportunity to have Jake Sim. “That’s… It sucks, I’m sorry,” you say. You don’t think spitting on this girl would make him feel any better, so you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile. “It was a while ago already.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re quite over it, though,” you say, and you’re surprised but glad to see his smile widen.

“That’s true.” His eyes meet yours again. “I don’t think I’ll be over her anytime soon, either.” You have to look away to shield the pain that flashes through your eyes from him.

Pretending you don’t have feelings for your best friend and that you’re okay with him being in love with someone else is like riding a bike: even after years of not doing it, it only takes a few minutes for you to be able to do it perfectly again. Muscle memory, if you will. So you sigh dramatically and throw your arm around Jake’s shoulder, slightly pulling him down to your level. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have so much fun this year, you’ll completely forget about her. Promise. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Yeah?”

He smiles down at you. You want nothing more but that glint of melancholy in his eyes to be gone. “Yeah.”

Jake is only half-glad to see you haven’t changed much from your childhood and early teenage years. You’re still just as pretty, just as warm; it’s still as comfortable to be around you. You’re also still as dense.

Then and now, he did everything he could to make his feelings for you very, very obvious. Either you’re completely oblivious, or the idea of dating him is so horrifying to you, you understand but pretend you don’t. He really hopes it’s the former.

He arrived in Edinburgh just a bit over a week ago, and you’ve seen each other almost every day. Out of those times, there isn’t a single one where he hasn’t tried to send something your way - something that says, hey, what if we stopped being friends and dated instead? Wouldn’t that be cool? Can’t you see how desperately I love you?, but you never latch on. The ball’s in your court, and he wants you to throw it back, but it’s been feeling more like a boomerang that always hits him right in the face when it circles back than a game of catch.

But he’s reminding himself not to be too greedy. Even if it’s just as friends, at least he has you back, so he’s satisfied with that. For now.

His first class of the year is on the following Tuesday morning, a ninety-minute seminar specifically made for exchange students called Discover Scotland. (He has Mondays free, resulting in a three-day weekend, which you and your 9am Monday tutorial are very envious of.) As interesting as the English Lit courses he’s taking seem, it’s this one he’s most looking forward to - except for the one class he shares with you, of course. Not even because of the seminars themselves, which will be about all sorts of topics on Scottish culture and history, but because of the coursework, as crazy as that sounds. It consists of a singular project, not due until the very last day of the semester, in which he has to travel to at least three different places in the country, research its background and provide a detailed account of his experience there. It can take any form: a written report, an in-class presentation, a podcast, anything. He could even film a TikTok if he wanted. Jake knew that being part of the Arts & Crafts club for two years in a row back in Seoul wasn’t for nothing - his scrapbooking skills would finally have their time to shine.

That afternoon, he practically snatches you as you come out of your lecture, giving you little time to say bye to your friends, and makes you take him to the biggest stationary store you know in the city. If he wants to ace this project, he will need supplies. Many, many supplies. And it’s more fun shopping if you’re with him. You seem happy following him around the store, and when he asks you if you want to come on his trips with him, he can pretend it’s because you seem so excited about his project and not because he had thought of you accompanying him as soon as he heard about it.

As you stand in line at the till, you tell him that if he wants to start his project now, you could go to the beach together. You raise your eyebrows at him when he snaps your head towards you. “There’s a beach here?!”

“Did you not look at a map before coming here?” you ask, amused.

“I guess I didn’t…” he says, distraught at the new information. It only lasts a second, though. “Okay, let’s go now.”

“Now?” you echo, and he nods. “But-” you start, but are interrupted by your thoughts. “I guess there’s no reason not to. The weather’s nice and it’s not like I have any uni work yet. Let’s go,” you agree, looking up at him with a smile. You’re so pretty he almost forgets to look away, until the employee calls Next in a bored drawl.

An hour later, you’re at the beach, barefoot on the sand and ice cream in hand. Strawberry for you and vanilla for him, he notes with a smile. Really not much has changed, he thinks. From the sand, to the water, to the promenade along the beach, Portobello is worlds away from the beaches back home in Australia, or those of Jeju Island. But it’s still nice, and because you’re with him, it’s even better. You’ve been walking around for an hour, splashing each other with water and mercilessly ruining sandcastles left behind before he realises you technically came here for his project. He writes down things he doesn’t want to forget on his phone and snaps a few pictures, sneaking a few of you when you’re not looking. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are with your hair blowing in the wind and the way the chill bites at your cheeks, but he keeps it a secret between him and his Notes app.

Even though he lives two stops further down, he gets off from the bus with you, containing his excitement as best he can when you invite him up for a cup of tea. “Depends. What tea do you have?” he asks, trying and failing to play it cool. He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to spend more time with you.

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the front door to your building. “I can make you hot chocolate, Mister Tea-Is-For-Old-People.”

He chuckles. “Actually, I’ll have you know I started drinking tea at uni.” When you turn around to look at him, a surprised look on your face, he nods proudly. “Mh-hm. I got addicted to caffeine very quickly into first year so I started drinking black tea for the sake of my heart,” he explains.

“God,” you say breathily, sounding mildly horrified. “A caffeine addiction sounds intense.”

“It was, yeah,” he says, laughing as he follows you into your flat.

Yunjin and Chaewon are sitting at the living room table, watching an episode of what he thinks is Gossip Girl, and they greet him as normally as these two can, but he wonders what the knowing look they exchange is all about. He’d met them the previous weekend when you had all gone for drinks together, along with Jay, Yunjin’s boyfriend, and they had all but grilled him on his relationship with you. He hadn’t thought much of it, chalking it up to your friends feeling protective of you, and truthfully, he was just happy to get to talk about you. But now, he was wondering if you had told them anything about him that made them so curious about him. If you did, he hoped it was something positive.

He stands awkwardly in the kitchen, chatting with you as you boil the water and get cups out, but he can feel their gazes burning the back of his head. Clearly, whatever conversation he’s having with you, he’s also having it with them. “How do you take your tea?” you ask.

“Um, three sugars and lots of milk, please,” he says, smiling innocently when you slowly turn to look at him, a mix of disapproval, disgust, and offence on your face.

You sigh deeply. “I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m not sure that’s even tea anymore.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss Caramel Frappuccino,” he says, recycling your bad joke from earlier.

“At least I don’t claim to be drinking coffee when I order a frap,” you argue. “And this is how you battled your coffee addiction? You’ll be getting another kind of heart problem, Jakey.” He doesn’t know if you even notice your use of his old nickname - the first time you’ve used it since he’s been here - but you don’t make a big deal of it, so he doesn’t either. Not outwardly, at least. Mentally, he’s running laps around your small kitchen.

Jake laughs it off. “I thought I came here for tea, not a health check-up,” he says, smile growing wider at the sight of yours.

“Right, sorry,” you say, giggling. “I’ll make your tea just how you like it,” you add in a sweet voice. Jake knows you’re just doing it as a joke, but it still manages to make butterflies erupt in his stomach.

His tea tastes even sweeter that day.

A few days after your impromptu trip to the beach, you’re waiting for Jake outside of his class. He heard of this donut shop he “absolutely needs to visit” and is dragging you along with him - well, “dragging” is a big word considering you’d follow him anywhere. You got here a few minutes early, not needing much of a reason to leave the library, so you scroll through your feed until Jake calls out your name. You’re only mildly surprised to see Jay leaving the classroom behind him.

“Y/N! Can you believe that Jay and I are in the same class?” he says excitedly as the two boys walk toward you. You feel like a dog owner being greeted by their over-enthusiastic dog after a long day (about three hours) of being apart.

“I can believe it, actually. You two do the same degree.”

You exchange quick greetings with Jay before the three of you start heading out. As you walk, Jake throws his arm around your shoulders so casually, it almost throws you off balance. Physical contact always came easy to him, but there’s something about him doing it next to someone else that catches you off guard. It reminds you of walking somewhere with Jay and Yunjin as they discretely held hands. It makes you feel like it’s not the three of you, but Jay with the two of you. Like you and Jake come as a pair rather than as two individuals.

All of that from a simple arm around your shoulders.

Jake asking you in a very unsubtle whisper whether Jay can come with brings you out of your head and back into the conversation. “Yeah, of course,” you say, smiling. It’s not a bad idea to have Jay along: hanging out with someone else might snap you out of your delusion.

Most of the walk to the shop is done in laughter as Jake and Jay realise how much random stuff they have in common, from their peanut allergies to the embarrassing Harry Potter phase they had as fifteen-year-olds. Grassmarket is really busy on Friday afternoons, and there’s a bit of a queue of other donut-enjoyers in front of the boutique, but you don’t mind. The sun is shining down gently on the square and it gives you time to choose your donut out of the ten or so flavours available. In the end, you go for white chocolate and raspberry, while Jake chooses Biscoff and Jay, tiramisu.

“My friend Sunghoon would love this,” he says after taking a hearty bite. “He goes crazy over tiramisu. Like a cat with catnip.”

Jake chuckles, mouth full of Biscoff. “That’s funny, I also have a friend named Sunghoon who loves tiramisu back in Seoul.”

Jay punches Jake’s shoulder, eyes wide in amusement and shock. “Bro, that’s crazy. You have to be lying at this point,” he says, but Jake shakes his head fervently.

“I promise I’m not. I’ve even saved his number with the tiramisu emoji.”

“There’s a tiramisu emoji?” Jay asks, already over questioning the existence of Jake’s Sunghoon.

The conversation circles back to the courses you’re all taking this semester, and Jake tells Jay about Discover Scotland and the trips he’s planned so far. “Well, if you really want to discover Scotland as a student, you need to go on a night out in Glasgow,” Jay says. Going by the look on Jake’s face, Jay’s idea seems to have struck a chord in him.

“Y/N?”

You nod, finishing your mouthful of donut before speaking. “Yeah, Glasgow’s really fun. We should go,” you say, laughing when the two boys high-five in victory. Between the train, the drinks and the club entry, going out isn’t a cheap ordeal, and getting to and fro also takes a while - even so, the smile on Jake’s face makes it worth it.

He wipes some raspberry jam from the corner of your mouth, shooting you a wink, and you want to disintegrate right then and there, become one with the bench you’re sitting on and never have to face him again. The conversation resumes as Jay tells Jake about all the best places to go out in Glasgow, but you don’t hear a word - the feeling of Jake’s thumb so close to your lips takes away your ability for coherent thought.

“It’s decided, then. We’re going out tomorrow night,” Jay loudly announces. “Let me gather the troops.”

That’s how you find yourself in line for the club the next day, already tipsy from pre-drinking on the train and at the pub. It’s still warm enough for you and the girls to wear as little clothing as you want, but Jake insisted on giving you his flannel jacket anyway. If not for the warmth it brings, you’re glad to have his scent enveloping you.

The five of you work exceptionally well together. You, Chaewon and Yunjin have been a given since you met in first year, and Jay and Yunjin went so well together that he was but a natural addition to your little group. Jake’s only been here for over a week, but it’s like he’s always been around, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Him and Jay hit it off immediately, and although the girls needed some time to warm up to him (it’s not everyday that you meet your friend’s ex-best-friend she’s practically always been in love with; you understand why they might’ve been wary at first), they now tease him just as relentlessly as they do Jay. He takes it like a champ.

For a little while, you watch your friends speaking over each other, bickering over nothing, a smile on your face. Two pints of cider and some of Jay’s fancy vodka have made you more grateful than ever for them - if you drink too much in the club, you’ll be hugging them and crying about how much you love them. You’re not sure what that might look like around Jake, so you decide to keep yourself in check for the night.

It takes about thirty minutes before you manage to get into the club. It’s not coat check season yet, so you head straight to the bar. “Sunghoon said he’d meet us here,” Jay says, lifting his head to spot his friend in the sea of drunk students. “Oh yeah, there he is! Hoon, hey!”

You hear a loud “Jongseong!” being shouted from somewhere in the crowd, but you’re not sure who Jay is waving at until a boy whose face is mostly eyebrows is standing - well, standing as best as he can, with the copious amount of alcohol he’s obviously already consumed - in front of you. He gives Jay a hug and the three of you a nod of his head, a lopsided smile on his face. When he turns to Jake, his eyebrows lift first, then his face breaks into a wide grin.

“Jake, my man!” he shouts, taking a stunned Jake’s hand and bringing him into a hug.

“Sunghoon? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, chuckling and frowning in confusion.

“I’m just partying, man! Same as you!”

“No, I mean here in Scotland, you dumbass!”

“You two know each other?” Jay asks, looking back and forth between his two friends.

“Jake’s my man!” Sunghoon exclaims, unhelpful and stumbling as he throws an arm around his man’s shoulders. Jake shoots you a distressed look but you just laugh at him.

“This is Tiramisu Sunghoon I told you about,” Jake says, helping Sunghoon stand up straight.

“God, what I would do for a tiramisu right now,” Sunghoon says, looking at Yunjin like she might relate. She chuckles awkwardly.

“I have no idea what he’s doing in Scotland, though. Hoon, I thought you were going to NYU for your exchange?”

Sunghoon pauses to think for a second, looking like he’s never heard of NYU in his life. “Oh, that! Yeah, I did an online orientation thing and… it did not go well. Let’s just say there’s someone in New York City who wants me dead,” he says conspiratorially. You all stare at him but he gives no further explanation. On your right, you hear Yunjin whisper what the fuck under her breath. “So I transferred here instead!”

“I didn’t know you were an exchange student,” Jay says, still looking just as confused.

“Yeah, man! But anyways, let’s not talk about uni right now. I’m on a bender, day three, baby! Do not talk to me tomorrow,” he says, chuckling until the smile suddenly drops from his face. “I mean that.” You look around yourself, glad to find everyone is just as baffled as you. “Let’s party!” Sunghoon cheers, intoxicated grin back on his lips. Jake and Jay follow, but you and the girls stay back for a second, taking in everything that has just happened.

“That. Is the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Chaewon blurts, staring blankly at the spot Sunghoon stood in a second ago.

“Yeah, he also seems to be a raging alcoholic. And he’s what, twenty-one?” Yunjin says, a scowl on her face.

“I could fix him.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, grabbing your friends by their wrists before either of them can say something worse.

Feeling generous, Sunghoon buys shots for all six of you, and you quickly down them before heading to the dancefloor. On your way there, a group of sober-looking girls hand Chaewon a giant, still almost full jug of red liquid, something that costs at least twelve pounds here. They say they’re leaving and don’t need it anymore, smiling as you profusely and astonishedly thank them. You look at your friends, mentally weighing the risk and drugging possibility this might present, but shrug and pass the jug around after taking hearty sips anyway. It tastes so much like fizzy cherries that you wonder if it even contains any alcohol, but sure enough, twenty minutes later, the three of you are spinning around on the dancefloor, screaming the lyrics to your favourite pop songs at the top of your lungs. Jake at a club is a completely foreign sight to you, and you can’t stop laughing at all the silly moves he pulls.

You’re shaking your whole body to a Nicki song from the early 2010s when you suddenly feel a hand on your hip. Before you can turn around and slap whoever this random man is that thinks he can touch you, a familiar voice whispers it’s just me in your ear, and you simultaneously relax and tense up knowing that Jake is standing right behind you. “There’s a creep staring at you,” he explains, lips and breath gently tickling your ear as he speaks. You look around the room and quickly notice a man standing in a corner, drink in one hand and the other in his pocket, unmoving as he eyes you with a smirk so slimy it makes your stomach turn. To avoid his gaze, you turn around, but you’re not sure the sight you’re met with is much better for you.

Jake peers down at you, eyes slightly glossed over and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, jaw locked in annoyance. He glances at the guy in the corner, who you assume is still staring when you feel Jake’s hands brush along your sides until they reach your waist. His gaze returns to your face as he brings you a step closer to him. Reflexively, you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Is this okay?” he mouths. All you can do is meekly nod. You watch as his eyes deliberately scan your face, going down and down. Time stills when they reach your lips and stay there. It’s like someone has put the booming music of the club on mute, and the only thing you can hear is your heart loudly beating in your ears. You suddenly feel very sober.

You swear Jake’s face is slowly inching its way towards yours when you’re abruptly taken away. Yunjin has grabbed you by the forearm, leading you and Chaewon to the bathroom as she chants “Bathroom break! Bathroom break!”, clearly unaware of the moment she’s just interrupted.

Because of the queue for the girls’ bathroom and Chaewon’s decision to console this random girl who was in the middle of a breakdown, it’s not until half-an-hour later that you emerge back into the crowd. You spot the boys at a table, two empty shots each in front of them and all three with a beer in hand. They will not be happy checking their bank accounts tomorrow morning.

“Y/N! You’re back!” Jake calls out happily when he spots you, and you can tell right away that he’s much drunker than when you left him. His whole face is flush, his eyes don’t open quite all the way, and a lopsided smile won’t leave his lips - even like this, he’s so pretty that you want to grab his hand and take him somewhere it’s just the two of you.

Chaewon gets drinks for the three of you and then you’re dancing again. It’s already one am at this point, and the remaining two hours until the club closes, fueled with alcohol and good music, go by in a flash. Before you know it, the DJ is playing All of Me by John Legend and the lights have been turned on, clear signs that you’re overstaying your welcome. The few people that have made it to closing time stumble out of the club and into the street, heading for either the nearest subway stop or the next party of the night. Since there are no trains at this time, your group walks to the close-by bus station, listening to Jake and Sunghoon grumble about how the clubs in Seoul don’t close until at least five or six and how trains run all night there.

The bus is already at the station when you get there, and the driver doesn’t seem too pleased about having six mildly drunk kids get on his bus, but he’s probably used to questionable people taking public transport at this time of the day anyway. Physically, Sunghoon is sitting across from you, but mentally, he’s off somewhere far, far from this bus. With his head against the window and mouth wide open, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips, he looks like he’s any second away from obnoxiously snoring. Jay and Yunjin are sitting somewhere you can’t see them, probably eating each other’s faces; she once told you they had their “most mind-blowing sex” when both a little drunk, and much to your dismay, you haven’t been able to get that piece of information out of your head since. Chaewon is on the phone to her long-distance bestie Sakura, for whom it’s a nice eleven in the morning right now.

This means that you and Jake are left alone, both of you still tipsy and not tired enough to fall asleep. You drop your head on Jake’s shoulder, and not only does he let you, he also takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and placing them atop his thigh. Clumsily, because he now has to use his left hand, Jake slips his phone out of his back pocket and shows you the photos he took all evening. As the night progresses, they get blurrier and blurrier, so much so that towards the end, you can’t tell what he was even trying to capture, and you laugh at how inappropriate some of these would be to submit in a university project.

When he softly says your name, you don’t raise your head, simply humming to let him know you’re listening. You close your eyes, cherishing the way your name sounds on his lips. It’s his tone, tentative and vulnerable as he tells you there’s something he’s been wanting to ask you, that makes you look up at him. He, however, won’t meet your eyes, and settles his gaze on the window, even though it’s so dark outside you can’t make out a thing.

“How come you never replied to my letter? I know it’s been ages, but… I still find myself wondering about it.” The question is softly asked and you know he by no means wants to hurt you, but it still feels like a punch to the throat. You hadn’t remembered who it was that had sent the last letter, while he’d been wondering all these years why his words had been left unanswered.

He seems set on not looking at you, so you rest your head back on his shoulder. Your hand is still in his. “I’m not sure, Jakey. I’m sorry,” you say, aware it’s not a satisfying answer. You’ve thought about why you and Jake had stopped talking for hours on end; you’ve discussed it with your friends and your mum, looked at it from all sorts of angles, tried to come up with real reasons other than time pulling you apart. But now that Jake himself is asking you about it, the words don’t come easy. You’ve theorised that you were afraid putting effort into sustaining your friendship would only hurt you in the end, because it was just that - a friendship. You could fool yourself into thinking you were okay only being friends with him when he was with you, that putting your feelings aside was worth it since you could at least spend time with him. But now that he was away, you didn’t have that anymore - it just hurt. So what was the point? And how could you phrase all this without betraying your feelings for him?

“Our letters were so sparse anyway back then, even our texts and calls were getting less and less frequent… And whenever I had a new boyfriend, I’d get into the same argument about being too close to you over and over again, even though you were literally on another continent.”

“You know, I always felt sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Those boyfriends of yours. I felt like you waited for me to leave before you started dating-”

“It wasn’t like that!” you exclaim, lifting your head again. Finally, he meets your eyes, gaze softening upon seeing your affronted expression. “It wasn’t like that,” you repeat, relaxing your tone. “If anything, they were the ones that waited for you to be gone. I'm sorry I let their jealousy get to me.”

Jake smiles, the tenderness in his gaze making your whole body turn to jelly. He squeezes your hands. “It’s okay. I just… I felt like I was always in the way of your relationships, even after I left.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry about that. They should’ve had more trust in me.”

He pauses, gaze dropping down to your intertwined hands. “I would’ve been jealous.” When his eyes find yours again, there’s something in them that you quite can’t place. It creates a ball of nerves that pull at your stomach. “If I were dating you, and you had a guy friend you were as close with as we were back then, I’d be jealous. You know, I’d assume he had feelings for you. And that you might have feelings for him, too.”

Because I did, you think. I did, and I still do. You try to communicate that thought to Jake, but telepathy works especially bad when one has as much alcohol coursing through their veins as you do right now. So instead, you say the opposite of what you’re thinking, turning away from Jake to avoid his gaze. You watch the dribble of saliva trickle from Sunghoon’s lips. “That’s not a great view of male-female friendship.”

Jake’s retort comes immediately. “But we were different, right?”

His words echo through your head until they make even less sense than they did initially. Different from what? From who? You’re not sure - but you like the idea of you and Jake being different, special. You especially like the idea of Jake thinking so. So you look at him and smile. “Right.”

Slowly, his grin fades and turns into a worried expression. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“We’re still different now, aren’t we?”

You want to wrap him in your arms so tightly neither of you can breathe. You settle for running a hand through his hair and pinching his cheek. “Course we are.” Your whole being relaxes when his face breaks into a smile again.

The next morning, you wake up to Yunjin plopping down on your bed unceremoniously, shaking you awake, and asking you if you want anything from Snax Café. On one hand, you’re grateful that she thought of you and that in thirty minutes’ time, you’ll have the greasiest sausage wrap and hash browns known to man in your hand; on the other, you’d like to think that she knows you well enough to know to order your regular from there without asking. But that’s probably the hangover talking.

You stumble out of bed, thanking last night’s you for having remembered to take headache medicine before crashing. Even if your stomach is very upset with the copious amount of alcohol it needs to rid your body of, and your throat is begging for water, at least your head doesn’t feel like it’s been split into two. As Yunjin barges into Chaewon’s room just as she had done yours, you head for the kitchen to get yourself a tall glass of revitalising tap water. You’re only mildly surprised to find Sunghoon passed out on your living room couch - it takes you a few seconds to remember that the three of you took pity on him when you learned he lived over an hour’s walk from the station, so you let him spend the night on your uncomfortable, cold leather sofa. While you down your glass in three gulps, you hear Yunjin shaking Sunghoon awake and asking him loudly if he wanted something from Snax.

“Fuck, I’d kill for a Snax right now,” he groggily says before he’s even opened his eyes. When he does, they dart around the room until they land on Yunjin, who's crouching in front of him. He looks like he thought her question was asked in a dream and not in real life. He also looks like he's not quite sure where he is, or who Yunjin is. It isn’t until Jay comes wobbling out of Yunjin’s bed to the couch opposite Sunghoon that the memories seem to piece back together in his head. The three of you watch him like he’s an unstable mental patient and you’re his doctors.

“No need for that, I’m ordering it on Deliveroo.” He nods his head and goes back to sleep for the time being.

Just as you’re about to text Jake, your phone rings with a call from him. His raspy morning voice as he asks you whether you slept well makes you want to put your head in an oven heated at 200 degrees Celsius. However, you resist the urge, and answer him with a smile, then ask him the same question.

“I slept pretty well too. I’d have slept in longer but one of my flatmates decided to have a Sunday fucking brunch and his friends are so loud. Can I come over?”

You’re very aware of the other people in the room, especially of Chaewon who has just walked in and is eyeing you suspiciously as if to say, Why are you smiling so hard at ten in the morning? You know the girls would jump at any opportunity to tease you about Jake, and with the added presence of Sunghoon in the room, you can’t have that. So you stifle the giggles bubbling in your throat and answer as nonchalantly as you can. It also gives you the chance to reflect on why Jake Sim asking you whether he can come over makes you want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl so much.

(Maybe it’s because when it comes to him, you’re still the giddy schoolgirl you used to be.)

“Yeah, of course. I was going to ask you if you wanted anything from Snax, actually.”

“Snax? What’s that?”

“Oh my God, Jake, am I about to introduce you to Snax right now?”

Twenty minutes later, the six of you are sitting around your small living room table, all varying amounts of tired, dehydrated and famished as you dig into your breakfast. Given your current levels of energy, it’s fairly quiet; plus, the food hits such a spot that it’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Jake eats like he’s never had a breakfast wrap and hash brown in his life. It’s an endearing sight if you’ve ever seen one.

You spend the afternoon together, watching movies curled up in your bed, and you try desperately not to think about the implications of that - except that’s hard to do when Jake is right next to you, legs and arms ever-so-slightly brushing against yours, his warmth so close yet so out of reach. You purposefully let him pick movies you’ve already seen so that you don’t have to focus on anything but your own thoughts and the faint but dizzying scent of his body wash. The both of you had an innumerable amount of sleepovers as kids, so this shouldn’t feel weird, but it decidedly does, probably because you’re much more aware of him now in a way you weren’t before.

As hard as you try to figure out what exactly he meant by “different,” you draw a blank. The only way you’ll understand is if you ask him, and you’re far too scared to do that. You don’t want to seem so hung upon a singular word he used when he was tipsy. It might be slightly dramatic, but you felt like some sort of balance had been restored since Jake was back in your life - the problem was it made you scared to do anything that might threaten this newfound equilibrium. It at least seems like different means a good thing to him, and that’s enough for you.

You look over to him when the second movie comes to an end. He’s sleeping peacefully, lashes caressing the skin under his eyes and cheeks looking rounder than usual. It’d be so easy to reach a finger out and trace the line descending from the top of his forehead to his chin, gliding along the bump of his nose and feeling the plumpness of his rosy lips, but you settle for drawing that line with your eyes instead.

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep with him next to you and your heart beating so loudly in your ears, but you find yourself waking up a few hours later, the sun already starting to set. Jake is already awake, scrolling on his phone, one arm casually behind his head as if being in your bed is as comfortable to him as being in his own. When he sees you’ve woken up, his honey-coated smile washes warmly over you, and he makes a joke about how he keeps on falling asleep when he’s with you. “I feel that at ease, I guess,” he says, and you hope you’re not making up the small blush that spreads over his cheeks.

Semesters are always a short and intense affair, but this one passes by even quicker with Jake by your side. Before you know it, it’s midterms already, and you and Jake have travelled enough for him to complete his project and make another one just for the hell of it. He had scoured the internet for the cheapest train tickets and most noteworthy sites, planning trips that lasted anywhere between three hours and a day for the two of you. All you needed to do was follow and trust him, which was the easiest thing anyone could’ve asked of you.

You’ve gone back to Glasgow, during the day, this time, as well as St. Andrews and Aberdeen. You’ve practically visited every loch and castle in a one-hour train ride radius of Edinburgh, and Jake has more lined up for the second part of the semester. He’s even said that your trips should continue being a thing next term, and you couldn’t have agreed faster. With every new destination, every train ride spent looking out a window or laughing about everything and anything, any odd Scottish food you try for the first time, you somehow fall for him a bit deeper. You didn’t know your love for him could bloom any more than it already had - but Jake is the gift that keeps on giving, and, unwillingly or not, he always finds new ways to make your heart speed that much faster.

Attentionate, affectionate, sweet Jake who always makes sure you’re comfortable wherever you go, always gives you his jacket or tucks your hair behind your ear to prevent it from falling in your face. Who, as time passed, grew more touchy, would hold your hand, ruffle your hair, pinch your cheek, which was simultaneously devastating and elating. Who, you could tell, started to linger more, both in his touch and in his gaze. Questions of does he love me back or am I seeing what I want to see? nearly drove you mad.

“I feel like at this point the only way she’ll understand that I like her is if I kill myself and write in my suicide note that it’s her fault for not loving me back.”

Jake has been pacing back and forth in Jay’s living room for approximately twenty minutes, with no end in sight. At least he’ll have gotten most of his ten thousand steps of the day in.

Jay sighs heavily. “Okay, I really don’t think you need to go that far.”

“Sounds romantic to me,” Sunghoon says, mouth full of salted caramel popcorn.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend,” Jay retorts, looking at his deranged friend with a scowl. He turns back to his (slightly more) normal friend and gives him a sympathetic smile.

“I mean, I told her we were different. Different. That we weren’t like regular friends. I tell her she’s pretty every chance I get. I give her my jacket all the time, even though this country is fucking cold. I’ve even given her a t-shirt of mine, sprayed with my perfume and everything. And don’t get me wrong, I do it ‘cause I love doing that for her-”

“Simp,” Sunghoon snickers.

“But what the hell else can I do? Like, she has to be ignoring it on purpose at this point.”

“You could always, you know… tell her?”

Jake scoffs, fixing his friend with a derisive look. “Wow. What a great idea, Jay, I never thought of that one before!”

A popcorn lands right on Jay’s cheek. “You’re so clueless, man,” Sunghoon says, a shit-eating smirk on his lips. As if he knows any better.

Jay looks back-and-forth between his friends, an expression on his face like he’s been disparaged. “Sorry, I didn’t know being straightforward and honest was such a bad thing. It would just make things a lot clearer for the both of you.”

“But… I’m scared,” Jake says.

“Man up!” Sunghoon suddenly yells, punching the sofa next to him, making his friends jump. “How can she ever figure it out if you don’t tell her?”

“You were on my side just a second ago, man, what are you doing?” Jake asks, confusion written all over his face. Sunghoon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two boys, retreating into silence as he stuffs his mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Just ignore him,” Jay says. “But for once, he did say something that makes a modicum of sense. You think you’re being really obvious, but you might not actually be. Which could be a good sign, you know. I heard girls were super aware of a guy liking them if they weren’t into him, but being totally oblivious if they did like him.”

“Where did you hear that?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“...Instagram Reels,” Jay reluctantly admits, frowning at Sunghoon who bursts into laughter.

Jake holds the bridge of his nose between two fingers like his head aches. “You’re both so useless, I’m never coming to you with my problems ever again.”

“I’ll pretend I’m not offended by that.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, anyway,” Sunghoon says. He’s smiling but Jake genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“But seriously, if you think you’ve done everything, then just do one last thing that’s so obvious she can’t misinterpret it,” Jay says.

“Like what?”

“Like kissing her, or some-”

“Kissing her?!” Jake echoes.

“That’s wild, man,” Sunghoon uselessly butts in.

“It’s just an example, calm yourselves,” Jay says. “Or, again, just straight up tell her how you feel. It’s what I did with Yunjin, and it worked.”

“You and Yunjin are dating?” Sunghoon asks, bewildered.

Jay shakes his head at him. “Where the hell have you been, bro? We were literally cuddling on the couch the other day.”

“I just thought you were really good friends, or something.”

Jake groans, holding his head in his hands. Sunghoon was of no help whatsoever, and Jay was so on point that it annoyed him. Confessing was the only solution - but Jake was so afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship that he had barely entertained the thought. But he had found the courage to do it once, and even though his planned confession had fallen through back then, he could get himself together and do it again.

It was the day he had told you he was moving to Korea, which he himself had learned that morning. Originally, he’d texted you because he had news to share - good news. Or at least, he hoped they were good. He hoped the soft, lingering looks you gave him weren’t a figment of his imagination but rather the confirmation he needed that you liked him back. He hoped that like him, you cared too much about your friendship to make the first move into something else; that by confessing first, you’d be relieved of that responsibility; that his wish to hold your hand and kiss your forehead wasn’t one-sided.

He decided not to prepare anything - just a couple sentences that he’d rehearsed over and over in his head. Declarations of love, bouquets of flowers, chocolate and couple keychains, all that could wait until after you’d said yes to being his girlfriend. He didn’t want to win you over just once, he wanted to show you every day how much he loved you. Fourteen-year-old Jake was absolutely head over heels for you; so imagine his disappointment when, as he was getting ready to meet with you, his parents called him downstairs, a tone to their voice Jake wasn’t familiar with, but that couldn’t mean anything good.

“Your dad’s job is sending us back to Seoul next month,” his mom announced, not beating around the bush. He felt everything quite literally crumbling down around him. His friends in Brisbane, his school, his hobbies, but above all, you. He’d lose it all. And what was the point now in telling you how he felt? If you felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if you didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

What he had planned to be good news turned into the most awful ones. The thought of it happening all over again makes twenty-year-old Jake shudder. But he wouldn’t let himself be trapped by time again - sure, in seven months, the academic year would be over, and he would go back to Korea. But that didn’t mean that those seven months should be spent in agony, or the following ones either, for that matter. You would make it work. What was long-distance to someone who loved someone else as much as Jake loved you?

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. He has to start by really resolving to do this, and in the off-chance that it actually goes in his favour, he’d start worrying about long distance then.

First, he has a trip to plan.

You should’ve known that a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the middle of November was a risky choice in terms of weather. The day started off nicely enough - no sign of rain when you woke up or as you watched the sunrise through the train window. Clouds turned the sky a bright white at first, then increasingly greyer and greyer. You feel the first drops of rain after lunch as you walk around a small village. By four pm, it’s pitch black and storming like you’ve rarely seen before. You head into a pub to grab a drink as you wait for the rain to subside, but subside it does not. You end up ordering fish and chips, one each, although one serving is enough to feed three. Even after taking your time eating, the bad weather does not let up. The last train, which is meant to be at eight pm, has been cancelled. Luckily, there’s an inn right across the road from the pub; you have no choice but to spend the night.

The inn receptionist is sitting so low on her chair, you can barely see her over the desk until you’re standing right over it. Her face is hidden by a book and it’s only when you say hiya that she seems to realise you’re there. You had never heard of the book or of its author, but you recognized the cover design as that of those romance novels with repetitive plots and weirdly misogynistic love interests your mum and every other middle-aged woman was obsessed with.

Her smile widens as she looks between you and Jake. “Hi there. One room for the lovely couple?”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Yes, please,” Jake interrupts, smiling down at her, then at you. “It’ll be cheaper if we share a room.”

“Our only room with two single beds is already taken, I’m afraid. One double bed okay for you two?”

You feel like you’re about to faint, so you’re glad Jake is there to answer. “Yeah, of course.” How the idea of sharing one bed with you is so okay to him, you’re not sure - granted, you’ve done it before, but this feels different. For all intents and purposes, this is a hotel room you’re staying in. And you’re staying in it with Jake.

You try to calm your breathing as the receptionist guides you to your room, chatting casually with Jake on the way there. As she unlocks the door for you, she informs you that check-out must be done before eleven in the morning tomorrow, then bids you good night and leaves you to it, still wearing that smile you swear has mischievousness to it. The door clicks shut behind you, and it’s just Jake and you again, together in this small room until tomorrow morning. Your chances of survival are very, very low.

Your room is a humble one, consisting of a desk, a cupboard, two armchairs, a small, separate bathroom and the infamous bed. Every surface seems to be covered with wood, from the ceiling, to the walls, to the old-fashioned furniture. Only the floor is a soft, beige carpet. Especially with the darkness outside, it makes for a gloomy room until you turn on the lamp by the entrance; it casts a warm, golden light in the room, one that would make you feel at ease if it wasn’t for Jake’s presence next to you. The implications of being essentially trapped in a barely-lit room with him are heavy on your mind, especially when he looks this gorgeous with his hair still damp from the rain and the soft lights playing on his face.

His voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Right. Do you, um, do you wanna shower first?” he asks, setting his bag on one of the armchairs.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” There has never been such an awkward tension between the two of you, but you know you’re not doing anything to ease it. You hope a shower will help you get out of your head and make you relax.

You feel the tension leave your muscles under the hot water, but your stomach is still in knots. You’ve never been this nervous around Jake before; back when you were fourteen and again in these past few months, you’d gotten so used to dealing with your unspoken feelings for him that you could almost forget about them when you were with him. They’d come back to you when you were alone and dwelling on the moments you’d spent together, on his words and actions you desperately tried not to read too much into but always ended up doing anyway. But right now, they’ve floated to the surface, becoming as obvious to you as a stain on your skin you can’t rub away. You’re scared Jake will notice it, and, in the worst case scenario you often thought about, would run away and never speak to you again.

At least the raging storm outside would make that a bit harder.

When you step out of the shower, you curse yourself for not having worn more comfortable clothes on this trip. You definitely can’t wear these jeans and button-up sweater to lounge around. Thankfully, the inn provides two long bathrobes that you could wear over underwear and your tank top, but you wonder where on the scale of inappropriate this would be to wear with Jake in the room. He’s seen you in short pyjama shorts before, but this, like everything else that would usually be normal between the two of you, feels weird today.

You wrap the bathrobe around yourself, tying it in place around your waist, and decide that it’d only be weird if you made it weird. And if Jake found the sight of your bare legs weird, then he was the weird one.

The scene you’re met with as you walk into the room makes you want to retreat into the bathroom immediately. Jake is lying on the bed with his upper half against the headboard, one leg extended and the other one bent, resting his head against one palm, using his free hand to scroll through his phone. His t-shirt has ridden up slightly, putting the waistband of his Calvin Kleins into view. Worst of all, when he sees you, his face breaks into a grin.

Your stomach twists when he gives you a once-over, letting his gaze linger on your legs. “Did you bring a bathrobe with you or was it included?” he asks with an annoyingly handsome smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I bring a bathrobe with me wherever I go,” you say sarcastically. “Now shut up and go shower, you stink.” Reverting to insults is always the solution when you’re internally freaking out.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He takes so long in the shower that by the time he comes out, you’ve dozed off in bed. As if you were a child, he wakes you up with a boop to the nose, crouching next to the bed and smiling at you. His wet hair falls on his head like that of a movie star in a shower scene, which you find extremely unfair, and his cheeks are red from the warmth of the water.

“It’s still early. Do you wanna go grab another drink?”

“In our bathrobes?” you say, laughing. “Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking anyway.” Read: I’m not sure what I’ll do with alcohol in me.

“Okay, no worries. Um, I think I saw they had board games in the lobby?”

Your ears perk up at this. “Ooh, what kind of board games?”

Putting jeans on underneath his bathrobe, Jake slips away for a minute and comes back with Monopoly, Uno, and a deck of cards. “They didn’t have much for two players,” he says, dumping everything on the bed.

You already knew that anything would become fun if you did it with Jake, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend almost five hours just playing Monopoly and card games with him. Neither of you stays put for very long, always switching from sitting criss-cross to laying on your stomach, making fun of the other’s bathrobe even though you’re wearing the exact same thing. You make each other laugh as you make up your own nonsense rules and disregard the laws of your games, attacking the other ruthlessly for a couple extra points or coins. Jake even makes you go get snacks from a corner store that’s miraculously still open because you lose the first round of Uno.

After some time, Jake lets out a loud yawn, which in turn makes you yawn too. He checks his phone to find that it’s close to midnight already. “Time for bed?” he asks, and your nervousness that had finally dissipated as you played came rushing back.

You nod. “Yeah, sounds good.”

The two of you clean up before brushing your teeth. Even that, with Jake by your side, becomes a silly affair as he pulls faces in the mirror and nudges your hip with his. You stay behind to use the toilet, and when you come back out, Jake’s already in bed, bathrobe tossed on one of the armchairs. This means that Jake is just casually in a t-shirt and boxers, waiting for you to join him in bed. Luckily, his back is turned to you, so you quickly take off your own bathrobe and slide under the sheets, careful to keep your distance from him. The sheets are cold underneath you, and you know it’ll take a while before your body heat warms them up - although you feel very hot and bothered because of the man lying next to you.

“Gosh, I’m really sleepy all of a sudden,” he says, words distorted by a yawn. You only hum in response, and he reaches for the lamp to turn it off. Just like that, you’re in complete darkness, and Jake’s body is mere inches from your own.

It’s eerily quiet for a while, and when you’ve managed to slow your heartbeat and regularise your breathing, you start trying to fall asleep. You toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position until Jake’s low, sleepy voice breaks the silence. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, and you freeze.

You sigh. “No. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” you say guiltily.

“It’s okay. I can’t really sleep either. It’s a bit cold in here.”

You pause. “Right. Yeah, it is,” you say, even though you feel like you’re sweating buckets.

The room plunges into silence again, long enough for you to think Jake has fallen asleep. You feel something cold against your foot, only realising as it slides up your calf that it’s his foot. “Jake!” you whisper-yell, withdrawing your leg as he bursts into giggles that warm your heart. “Your feet are so cold,” you say in-between chuckles.

“I’m cold all over,” he whines. “Have they not turned the heating on yet? It’s already mid-November.”

“People are used to the cold here.”

“Well I’m not. Can we cuddle?” he suddenly asks, and he must somehow feel the way you freeze in place because he stammers out a justification straight away. “For, I mean, just for warmth, you know. I don’t think I’ll sleep otherwise.”

His foot finds yours again and you can’t help but laugh. “Sure, fine,” you say with a sigh as if you were doing only half-heartedly for his sake. As if this was some big sacrifice you were making, and not something you’d daydreamed about one too many times before.

Your heart is beating a thousand miles a second when you scooch closer to Jake, his hands finding your waist as easily as if they’d been there a hundred times before. He pulls you in much closer than you had expected, holding you tightly against his chest, one arm for you to use as a pillow and one hand resting on your lower back. You try to calm your respiration so that he can’t hear how short of breath you are, but based on his own breathing, he seems to be out in five minutes. It takes you longer to fall asleep, every shift of his body sending shivers down your spine, but you manage to relax after some time, letting his warmth envelop you as you drift off to sleep.

The feeling of waking up with you in his arms is so unreal, Jake thinks he might still be dreaming.

He looks down at your peaceful sleeping face and can’t stop the smile that spreads on his lips. Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but this is a sight he particularly wants to commit to memory. He watches fondly as the bright sun rays of the early morning hit your face, making you scrunch your eyebrows and bury your face deeper against him. You grunt softly, and when he feels you shifting and stretching your legs, he pretends to fall asleep so you don’t catch him staring. It seems like you’ve raised your head, chin tilted towards him - if he’s lucky, you’re watching him “sleep” just like he did seconds ago.

He contains a smile at the joke that forms itself in his brain before shooting his eyes open, catching you off guard during what you thought was a private, secret moment.

“Shit!” you yelp, practically jumping off of him and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He bursts into laughter, proud that his little prank was effective. Before you can scold him, he makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing your back against his chest. He thinks he feels your body tense; but then you bring your hand over his, swiping your thumb back and forth against his skin, and you relax in his hold. “You’re so annoying,” you complain, but your voice is tender, almost weak.

He buries his face in your hair, trying not to be too loud when he inhales there. “Sorry,” he says, the smile evident in his voice. “The opportunity was right there. Caught you staring, huh?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jake is more than happy to enjoy this moment in silence, but there’s something burning the tip of his tongue. It’s been there for a while now, but he thinks he’s finally found the right moment. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“There’s something I couldn’t tell you last night, but I feel oddly okay saying it right now. Are you listening?”

“I am, yeah,” you say gently, voice so soft it caresses his skin and draws goosebumps from it.

His chest expands and falls with a deep, shaky breath. With your back right against it, he’s scared you’ll hear that his heart is beating faster than it should. “Bad news first?” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Uh-oh.”

“There’s no roundabout way to say this, so here goes, I guess.” He takes another breath. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” You tense in his embrace, and he waits for you to say something, anything before he continues.

“Oh,” is all you say. He hopes it’s a good oh - even if it isn’t, he doesn’t let it deter him.

“Yeah. I really debated telling you this… I know you might not feel the same way. But I also know that if I don’t say anything and make the same mistake twice, I’ll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life.”

“The same mistake?” you ask, looking at him over your shoulder.

He gazes down at you tenderly, pushing hair away from your face with a gentle hand. “I already felt that way back when we lived in Australia. I was about to tell you but when I learned that I was moving, I didn’t wanna risk ruining the little time we had left together.”

The look on your face both breaks his heart and patches it up again. “Jakey…” you say, voice just a whisper. You turn around to face him and bury your face in the crook of his neck. The fact that you’re not saying much is making his stomach twist in agonising stress, but he takes it as a good sign that you’re still holding him tight and not running away.

“I think I’d be the luckiest guy on Earth if you felt the same way,” he says, hopefulness clear in his voice.

And then he finally hears the words he’s been dying to hear all these years. “Of course, I feel the same way, Jake,” you say, eyes meeting his. “This isn’t bad news at all, it’s like, the best possible news ever.”

It takes him a few seconds, but when your words sink in, a bright smile graces his features. He feels tears coming up - tears of relief that you feel the same way, of sadness that it took the both of you so long to get here, of happiness that something new might start - he’s not sure. Perhaps everything at once.

“Of course?” he echoes, smiling wildly. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Oh, gosh,” you murmur, burying yourself into him once more. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

He tightened his hold around you, bringing you to him as close as physically possible. “Me neither.”

The feeling of you tangling your bare legs with his and bunching up the fabric of his t-shirt in your fist awakens something in him - he had been in his head, thanking the heavens that you loved him back, reeling from his belated confession, but he was now very aware of his body. And of yours. He was reminded of Jay telling him to kiss you - although he hadn’t needed to go there to reveal his feelings to you, it was still a possibility. It was even more so now that he knew you felt the same way.

He tries to be subtle as he brushes a hand up your back to the nape of your neck, gently grazing his fingernails against the skin there. He has to suppress a self-satisfied smirk when he feels you squirm under his touch, lifting your head to fix him with a scolding look. Your stern expression fades as soon as his eyes fall on your lips, however, and you quickly mirror his gaze. His lips part, and he feels his whole body shake as he takes a deep breath in. Who knew that you’d share your first kiss on a random Sunday morning in the fuckass middle of nowhere in Scotland?

Maybe you take pity on him, or you recognise the effort put into being the one to make the first move, or, as he’d like to think, you just really want to kiss him - either way, you’re the one who closes the gap and presses your lips to his.

Your lips. So soft, so delicate against his, absolutely perfect. It’s a simple, tentative touch, but he’s craved it for so long that it makes his head spin. He frowns, despite himself instantly needing more than this feather-like feeling of your lips brushing against each other. His mind tells him to calm down and take it slow, but his body takes over, urging him to grab the nape of your neck a little harder, to hold you a little closer to him, to kiss you a little stronger. Thankfully, you let him do all of this and more, hands finding purchase in his hair and returning his intensity tenfold.

He doesn’t know what’s better - the fact that you’re kissing him or the kiss itself. The way your lips move against his is intoxicating; it wraps itself around its mind and leaves no room for thoughts that aren’t of you. You seem to want him as desperately as he wants you, to have waited for him as long as he did for you, and this is what drives him crazy. You press your body against his and he sees stars; you let out a moan against his lips and he kisses you deeper, ready to do anything to hear that melody again.

Unfortunately, the only melody he gets to hear is that of his phone alarm, informing you that it’s quarter to eleven and that you have fifteen minutes to leave. Check-out at eleven am had sounded nice yesterday; now, he would stay in this dingy inn his whole life if it meant he got to keep kissing you.

The both of you reluctantly break apart, bursting into giddy laughter when your eyes meet. As said before, Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but with your pupils blown and your lips plump from kissing, this might just be the prettiest he’s ever seen you.

“You know, I like you a lot, but I’d like you even more if you could stop time,” you say.

He looks down at you with a smile, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on your face. “Sure, I’ll learn how to control time for you.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You peck his lips, lingering, and he closes his eyes to savour your sweetness.

“Anything for you, baby.” His eyes widen at the nickname slip, but you erupt into giggles.

“Baby?”

“Would you look at the time, we really got to go,” he says, detangling his limbs from yours. He pauses for a second. “Baby,” he repeats, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before bouncing from the bed.

You get ready together, and the mundane tasks of stripping sheets from a bed and packing bags become the funnest things he’s ever done. You’re all over each other, attacking the other with kisses and hugs; Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite this happy.

And this is only the beginning.

There’s a glint in the receptionist’s eyes when you check out of your room, as if she knew something you and Jake had been oblivious to all along. It’s the only one in town, so you go back to the little pub for a full breakfast with eggs, hash browns, haggis, and sausages. You get coffee so strong you think you might not sleep for the next four days, while Jake drinks tea that is equal parts sugar, milk, and actual tea.

From the moment you leave the pub to the moment you arrive at your doorstep, Jake’s hands barely leave yours. When they have to, like when you’re searching for the perfect seat on the train or when the controller checks your tickets, they’re back together within a minute, like two magnets that can’t stay apart for too long. The rain has long subsided, leaving place to a bright blue sky and wet blades of grass that shine in the sun.

Now that your mutual feelings don’t need to be kept secret, you tell each other about everything you had to go through, like you pretending your good news was your mum having baked the cookies Jake liked and him seeing your new boyfriends every two months on your close friends story. He tells you about all the hints he’s dropped, causing you to facepalm over and over again. It feels like two friends catching each other to speed on all the latest gossip, except the topic of that gossip is you.

The juxtaposition of your familiarity with Jake with the novelty of behaving like a couple, of not having to hold back with your touches or gazes or words, is nothing if not jarring. But you have a feeling you’ll get used to it in no time.

As you unlock the front door to your building, you don’t ask him if he’s coming up - to you, it’s a given that you’ll be spending the rest of today and every day after that together. So when he doesn’t follow you, staying still on the threshold, you turn around with a questioning look on your face.

“There’s something I need to do this afternoon,” he says, taking both of your hands in his.

“Can’t I come with?” you say. Jake wavers for a second, but sadly, he stays firm in his decision.

“Sorry, baby, it’s a surprise. I’ll be back at seven with takeout?”

You can’t possibly be mad at him when he calls you baby and offers food in the same breath. “Only if you bring takeout.”

“You only love me because I feed you, don’t you?” he asks, a smile on his face.

“Yup,” you reply. You’re standing on a step, so you bend down to kiss him - you intend for it to be a peck, but when your lips touch, you’re unable to pull away. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, in the warmth that takes over your body and makes your brain all fuzzy.

A loud, affronted gasp from behind you makes you jump from Jake, and when you turn around, Chaewon and Yunjin are standing in the stairwell, staring at you with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

“So this was a sexcapade?” is, much to your horror, the first thing Yunjin says.

Thanks to Chaewon, neither you nor Jake have the time to dwell on this sentence as she comes running down the stairs and pounces on you. You don’t know how a woman so small can have such force, but her hug is so tight you can barely breathe, let alone hug her back properly. “I knew you could do it!” she exclaims. When she pulls away, she seems so moved, it looks like she’s about to cry. “You finally popped your Jake cherry,” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jake to hear. A bark of laughter escapes his throat.

“Okay, thanks, guys,” you say, escaping this awkward situation and going up the stairs. “I’ll see you later, Jake!” you yell over your shoulder. The girls seem to be on their way out, and you’re more than happy leaving him to deal with them on his own. God knows you’ll get the worst of it when they come back.

As soon as you get to your flat, you make a beeline for your bedroom, plopping on the bed. You’re the same person, and this is the same room. But something within you feels entirely different, like a scar that you had been carrying around had, without you even noticing, healed so well you could barely see it anymore. You lifted your hands in the air, looked at the back of them, then at your palms. They were the same old hands that had been with you your whole life, and you were almost shocked that there wasn’t something utterly different about them after having held Jake’s hand for so long. Just to be sure, you sniffed your right hand, but it didn’t smell any different, either. But you still felt Jake’s hand on yours, like headphones you’d been wearing for hours and still felt on your ears after taking them off.

Yunjin and Chaewon are back from their shopping half-an-hour later; they got you a chocolate fudge cake from Tesco to congratulate you. “You guys are acting like this is my birthday…” you say, eyeing the cake greedily as Chaewon cuts it into three equal parts (even though it says serves eight on the packaging).

“This is more important than your birthday, Y/N,” Yunjin states as she pours oat milk into three cups of Earl Grey tea. “This is, like, the moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you saying a girl’s importance depends on her having a boyfriend?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Especially when said boyfriend is the guy she’s been pining after for all of her teenage and adult life.”

You sigh. “Well, he hasn’t exactly popped the boyfriend and girlfriend question yet.” They both turn to look at you, an annoyed look on their faces. You stand up straight, uncomfortable under their gazes. “What?”

“Usually, I’m all for clarity on this issue,” Chaewon starts. “But isn’t it pretty obvious here?”

“You’re still gonna have to tell us everything in minute detail, but Jake’s already told us what happened. He had no qualms referring to you as his girlfriend, so I really don’t think this is something you need to worry about. What you should worry about is when and where you’re going to hop on that dick.”

Chaewon bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit. “Gosh, Yunjin, you really do have a way with words.”

“I know. This is what having a Jane Austen hyperfixation at fifteen will do to you.”

Following Yunjin’s orders, you tell them about the events of the previous day and this morning over tea and cake. They ooh and ah and gasp in all the right places, ask you very specific questions and even make you draw a picture of the room you stayed in. You’ve talked to them about Jake so many times that there’s only so much to say now - but still, you talk for hours on end, deviating off-topic so often you end up talking about something else entirely.

You’re in bed reading for your Middle English Literature class when the doorbell rings. It’s seven on the dot, so it can be no one else other than Jake. It’s been mere hours, but you’ve missed him enough to last you for weeks.

He brought takeaway from the Indian place you’d raved about a hundred times but hadn’t brought him to yet. Somehow, your heart grows even fonder as you watch his reaction to the food, the raise of his eyebrows, the widening of his eyes, the excited shimmy of his shoulders. When you ask him about his afternoon, a wide smile breaks out onto his face, like a lightbulb illuminating a room. Without a word, he scurries to your room, bringing back some sort of book with him. He hands it to you with a shy smile and curious eyes, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The cover reads Y/N and Jake in his clumsy but endearing handwriting, with the date of his arrival in Edinburgh and an em-dash scribbled underneath. “I haven’t booked my flight home yet, so I’ll add the second date later,” he explains.

When you flick through it, you’re met with photographs of you and Jake on all of the trips you’ve done so far, as well as the various adventures you got up to in the city. There’s even one of you sleeping in the library at two am during midterms when you had forgotten about one of your essays, due at midday. Jake had come with coffee and words of encouragement, and now he could brag that the high mark you got was thanks to him. It’s not only photos - it’s also ticket stubs, receipts, stickers, and even a dried flower you had found pretty on your trip to St. Andrews. He’s also written quite a lot, from diary-like entries about what you got up to that day or songs that reminded him of you.

“You misspelt right here,” you say, pointing to a sentence that reads This is the café write next to the hotel where the last Harry Potter book is said to have been written!!! under a photo of you drinking a massive cup of hot chocolate. The more you look at the typo, the more it makes you laugh, until you have tears brimming in your eyes.

Thanks to Yunjin’s messiness, pens and pencils are strewn over your coffee table. Jake, flushed red in embarrassment at the small mistake, snatches a pencil and aggressively erases write, spelling it correctly the second time around. “This is the level of today’s English Lit undergrads,” he murmurs under his breath. His frown disappears when he looks at you and he laughs along.

You continue looking through the album until you land on a page titled Why I love Y/N. From top to bottom, left to right, it’s filled with Jake’s tiny handwriting. You can tell he put effort into making it neat. There’s a singular photograph of you, one that dates from the first days after Jake’s arrival when you were walking around in the Meadows, the park right next to campus. The sun shone down on you and you smiled brightly at Jake behind the camera.

You’re not a quarter through reading when tears swell in your eyes, rendering your vision blurry. You wipe them away before they can fall and stain the page. Jake has detailed every last thing he loves about you. It can hardly get cornier than this, but the fact that he wrote this about you makes your heart so full, you’re afraid it might explode in your chest. It ranges from basic things like the way she makes me laugh or her pretty face when she falls asleep in the train (or anywhere, for that matter) to more you-specific things like the strict pastel colour-coding she uses for her notes and her perseverance when eating spicy food even though she can’t take it. He mentions things about you that you didn’t even know, and that feeling of being known in-and-out, of being really seen by someone else only brings more tears to your eyes. Your favourite line comes at the end - the way she makes any place feel like home. A proper sob pushes past your lips at this, and Jake, who had been watching you with an anxious smile, rests a palm on your knee and inches closer to you.

“Why are you crying, is- Did I write something bad?”

You shake your head fervently. “No, no, Jakey, this is… It’s perfect. I’m just…” you trail, letting out a half-sob, half-chuckle. You look at him with a smile before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it so much. I love you so much.”

You can feel Jake relax against you. “I love you too, baby. I’m glad you like it.”

You pull away after a small while, and turn the next page over. It’s a picture of you over breakfast this morning, with words WE’RE DATING!!!! written underneath it, and those simple words make you so happy, your cheeks ache from smiling. But every page after that is empty. Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I, um, I thought we could fill the rest out together. I debated just doing it myself and giving it to you at the end of the year, but I thought it’d be more fun doing it together.”

“It would. This is such an amazing idea,” you say, flicking back through the pages.

“I thought of it because of that project I had. When I started working on it, all the photos I wanted to include were of you, but I wasn’t sure how much my professor would appreciate that… So I decided to make one more personal. One for us,” he says shyly, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Thank you so much, Jakey.”

He smiles. “It’s no worries.”

“Did you do it all this afternoon?”

“I had started it before, but I added it most of today, yeah. Which, by the way, awful timing. I wanted nothing more than to spend today with you.”

Your heart leaps. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to hearing such words from Jake’s mouth.

Sometime later, you’re laying in bed with Jake between your legs, watching the most recent animated Spiderman movie. With the tips of your fingers, you draw random patterns on his forearm, and if it wasn’t for his occasional chuckles, you’d think he had fallen asleep. You chat for a bit after the movie, but you find that after such an emotionally-packed day, you’re ready to call it a night fairly early. But when the lights are off and it’s just you lying against Jake’s chest, his fingernails grazing your scalp and his familiar, comforting scent clouding your judgement, all thoughts of an early night are thrown out of the window.

You shouldn’t feel so nervous - you had fallen asleep in his arms last night, and it had gone well. Really well.

“This is different from yesterday, isn’t it?” Jake suddenly says, breaking the heavy silence with a low voice. It’s like he read your mind.

“Yeah,” you whisper against his skin.

No other words are needed. You brush the tip of your nose along his neck until you reach his jawline, pressing soft kisses there and delighting in the increasing shakiness of his breath. The feeling of your lips meeting is so intense, so all-encompassing, that you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle anything more.

This is still new territory, but you’re both so eager to discover it that it makes for a messy kiss, lips moving against each other ravenously, tongues beckoning moans from the other. It’s a kiss that somehow leaves you breathless and breathes oxygen back into your lungs at once.

In a matter of seconds, Jake has flipped you on your back and is hovering over you, one hand holding him up and one hand free to roam your body. He slips it underneath your t-shirt, brushes it along the side of your waist, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire blazing on your skin. It’s so distracting, you can’t even kiss him back properly anymore. Jake doesn’t seem to mind. At first, when he starts pressing hot kisses to your jawline and your neck, you think he’s giving you a respite - but when he gently sinks his teeth into the skin there, leaving marks that will later remind you tonight wasn’t a dream, chuckling as you squirm and whine under him, you understand that this is anything but a respite.

You curse your earlier decision of not wearing a bra, because it gives you no preparation whatsoever to the sensation of Jake brushing his thumb against one of your nipples. With a loud gasp, your back arches off of the bed, which only aids Jake in raising your t-shirt up over your breasts.

He takes a minute to admire the sight of you panting and half-naked underneath him. It makes you feel shy, and you want to do something so that he stops looking and starts doing, but his gaze holds you in place. His pupils are blown with lust, eyes raking over your body and taking everything in. You have a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it’s you he’s looking at with those eyes.

His soft lips attach themselves to your nipple while his fingers continue their work on the other one. You’ve never felt this sensitive, never felt this on edge, like you might fall apart at any second even with so little simulation. Your core throbs, impatiently waiting to be tended to, but you’re already trembling so hard from Jake’s attention to your breasts that you don’t know what will happen to you once he actually touches you down there.

“You doing okay, baby?” he asks, the rasp in his voice making you want him impossibly more. You grip his hair and he looks up at you, a tender smile on his lips. You nod your head yes and he laughs. “Yeah? You want more?” You pause at his question. You do want more, but is it worth your sanity?

It takes you a second to decide that it’s worth that and more. You nod again.

Jake seems to have sensed your hesitation. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I am. It’s just a lot.”

His expression of worry softens into a smile. “I’ll take it slow for you, love. It’s a lot for me, too.” He leans in to press soft kisses to your cheek, and some of the tension in your body diffuses. Whatever happens, Jake will be there to take care of you. “But it feels good, right?” he asks, lips moving against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“So good, Jakey,” you reply shakily.

“Good.”

You can tell that Jake really does want to take it slow - his movements are more deliberate, gentler. But eagerness, both yours and his, soon takes over, and a minute later, he’s trailing kisses down your body until he reaches your lower stomach. Your breath quickens as he hooks fingers underneath your leggings and underwear, sliding both garments down your legs and leaving you bare to him. You think the feeling of his lips on the fleshy parts of your inner thighs is what might actually do you in, make you lose your sense of reality forever - but then his tongue darts out against your clit, a barely-there touch, and your whole body flatlines.

Your reaction eggs Jake on, who, more confident now, takes the sensitive bud in his lips and alternates between sucking and licking motions. A knot ties itself embarrassingly quickly in your stomach, a knot that tightens and tightens as Jake flattens his tongue against you, licking up your juices from your entrance to your clit; a knot that threatens to come loose when he slides a long finger inside of you. You can’t take more than thirty seconds of this.

“Jakey,” you say, voice practically a moan. Your brain is fuzzy and it takes a distressing amount of time to form a simple sentence. “Can you come here?”

“Is something wrong, baby?” he asks breathily, sliding his finger out of you and coming back up so that his face is right above yours.

“No, just… I want you.”

Any trace of worry on Jake’s features dissipates as he cocks an eyebrow, one corner of his lips tugging up into a smirk. “Is that so?”

This kind of boldness would usually have you rolling your eyes, but here, it only makes your core throb more violently. It’s almost humiliating how much you want this man. It’s definitely humiliating, how easy it is to swallow your pride and play into his game. “Yes, please,” you say, eyes pleading with him.

He smiles almost giddily before burying his face against the side of yours. “My baby’s so polite,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Take this off, then,” you say, grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt.

“So she says please and gives orders,” he jokes, quickly obliging anyway.

Not once in your time apart had Jake posted any sort of beach trip or pool photos, so this was the first time you saw his bare chest. God, was it one for the history books. You trace the defined lines of his muscles with a finger and wonder how he had managed to get even more perfect. He lets you marvel at him for it, clearly proud that you’re gawking so shamelessly, but your mind drifts back to more urgent matters when he presses himself into you, his clothed cock, hard and hot, brushing against your folds. “Fuck,” you sigh, bucking your hips into his to feel him over and over again.

It’s so much, but it’s not enough; Jake instantly gets your message when you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling him to you and kissing him feverishly. Your lips don’t part as he slides his boxers off, and you drink up the nectar that are his moans as you take him in your hand, pumping him a few times.

“Condom?” he asks, but you shake your head.

“I’m on the pill. And even so… I usually always use a condom, but I don’t want to now. Not with you.”

Jake closes his eyes as he takes a deep, stabilising breath. “I feel totally normal about that. Not crazy at all.”

You giggle, and he opens his eyes, a wide smile gracing his lips before he bends down to kiss you. “You ready for the night of your life?” he asks against your lips. “It’s gonna last five minutes, tops,” he says, making you laugh again. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t do anything about it. I think I could’ve cum just from eating you out.”

“That would’ve been hot.”

“Really? We’ll make it a challenge for next time, then.”

When Jake plunges into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He fills you up, slow inch by slow inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside you. You both need some time getting used to the feeling - Jake drops his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a sound between a grunt and a moan, something you’ve never heard from him before. You grab onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you try to tether yourself to him. You hold him so tight that he has no choice but to let his body rest on top of yours, his arms coming to circle your waist and bring you even closer.

His movements start out halting, the pleasure so overwhelming that it makes it hard for him to move steadily. In time, he falls into a torturously slow rhythm, but it’s the perfect kind of torture, the kind that has tears brimming in your eyes. It’s so hard to take, and yet you want more. You’re brought closer to the edge with every thrust of his dick into you, especially as he picks up the pace and lifts your hips to meet his. The new angle has his tip brushing against that spot deep inside you that makes it hard to breathe.

You can tell he’s just as close as you when he loses that steady rhythm he had found, his motions growing more desperate, harsher, quicker. Conscious of your roommates, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body on fire, so sensitive that the few more seconds Jake needs to come undone himself drive both your body and your mind into overstimulation. Even the feeling of him pulling out, drops of hot liquid dripping out of your entrance, is too much and makes you let out a small, tired whine.

Jake peppers your face with kisses as he holds your waist tightly, brushing his thumb back-and-forth on your warm skin, sticky with sweat. “You did so well, baby. So good for me.” You think you might be ready for a second round if he keeps talking to you like that. “I love you so much.”

You sigh deeply, as if you were just told disconcerting news. “Okay.”

“Okay?!” he echoes, looking up at you with an outraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I love you too, I just- I’m not used to this yet! You can’t just tell me you love and expect me to be normal. You have to warn me first.”

“Can I just warn you now that I’m going to tell you I love you every time I get the chance?”

You sigh. “I guess.”

“Can I tell you now?” he asks, and you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jake tuts. “I highly doubt it, but whatever makes you happy.”

You hold Jake close to you, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand playing with his hair as you come down from your high. You think he might’ve fallen asleep, and you’re close to drifting off yourself when he speaks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. Not just the sex, although that has been on my mind for a while now,” he says, making you laugh, “but all of this. Being together, getting to be in your arms like this, kissing you whenever I want. Calling you my girlfriend.”

“Me too, Jakey. I waited so long I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

Jake chuckles. “How stupid were we not to have noticed we felt the same way?”

“Very stupid. I think we felt so sorry for ourselves that we were stuck in one-sided love, that we didn’t even realise the other was going through the exact same thing. But at least we’re now.”

“At least we’re here now.” You and Jake yawn at the exact same time, making you burst into giggles, giddy with sleep and love.

“Let’s sleep, baby,” you say.

Jake hums, burying himself deeper against your body. “Sleep well, my love. I’ll be here.”

After years of pining after each other, you and Jake find it a bit hard to keep your relationship to yourselves, or your hands off of each other.

At the beginning, all of your friends had been happy for you, but that quickly went away when your and Jake’s honeymoon phase never died down and the PDA just kept on going. If the glue you were stuck with previously was metaphorical, this one was pretty close to being real. Superglue kept you together, your moments together rarely spent without some sort of physical touch. Yunjin fake-gagged so often, you were afraid she might actually vomit one of these days. It took Sunghoon two weeks longer than everyone else to clock you and Jake had started dating.

This meant that in private, there was truly no holding back. Jake back-hugged you any chance he got, to the point you started to think he was more koala than human - although that’d imply he saw you as a tree. Make-out sessions were a particular favourite of yours - how could they not be when your boyfriend’s lips seemed to have been carved by God himself, soft and plump to the heavens, like they were made to be kissed. Really, you were just honouring God’s will when you kissed Jake.

The goodbye that comes at the end of the year is not an easy one, and the month spent at home before you fly to Korea seems to never end. But you get there eventually, and as nice as it is to catch up with Jake’s parents after so long, you feign sleepiness after lunch as an excuse to get some time alone with your boyfriend. Ironically, this “time alone” is spent so intensely that you do end up falling asleep afterwards.

You have to admit, you really did a number on your boyfriend this time - what can a girl do when she missed her boyfriend this much? Jake is still passed out when you wake up from your nap, so you slip out as discreetly as you can from his embrace and get out of bed. You head for the closet first and swipe the comfiest looking sweater of his that you find there so you can stay warm as you look around his room. A pang of melancholia hits your chest - most of the pictures and objects on his walls and shelves are parts of his life you weren’t around to witness. Friends you don’t recognize, places you’ve never heard of, phases you’d never known he’d gone through. But then you see the frame on his desk, a faded photo of the two of you at ten years of age, eating ice cream on the bench outside of your house. Milo is sitting at your feet. Jake’s family hadn’t adopted Layla yet. You realise that even if there’s whole parts of your life you didn’t get to share with each other, nothing could touch your memories, or your future.

You want to go back in time and tell fourteen-year-old you that no matter how painful it might seem at the moment, it will all be worth it for the sight of Jake Sim slowly drifting into wakefulness, patting the bed next to him, and noticing you’re missing with furrowed eyebrows. When he opens his eyes and they settle on you, a sleepy smile will grace his dazzling features, and he’ll say, “Come back to bed.”

You’ll be even more in love at twenty than at fourteen.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz (ask to be removed/added!)

#enhypen smut #jake smut #enhypen x reader #jake sim x reader #sim jaeyun smut #sim jaeyun x reader #enhypen oneshots #jake sim oneshots #enhypen imagines #jake sim imagines #enhypen fluff #jake fluff

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heeology · 7 months ago

Note

I have a request for a fic where both Jake and reader are starting their freshman year of college and jake is applying to be in a frat, but to be accepted the brothers in the frat make a bet with him to make the reader sleep with him ….

a/n -> omg i was literally thinking abt writing a jake fic (which i'll get to soon) and then this pops up lmao. but your mind...lord, this is such a good idea. anyway, tysm for being my first request !! it means a lot lol and i rlly hope you enjoy this :)) then, just in general, if you also sent me a request, i promise i have seen it !! i just work five days a week now, so i don't rlly have a lot of time to sit and write, but i promise i am working on them and will release them when i can 💕

are you down or what? | s.jy

pairing -> futurefratboy!jake x fem!reader

genre -> college au, best friends (alludes) to fwb

warnings -> MDNI, smut, drinking, cursing, mention of weed (no drug use tho)

w.c. -> 7.3k

!!DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!!

Going to college is already scary enough, moving to college is even scarier. You wouldn’t categorize yourself as the “outgoing type” and you had pretty much figured your college experience would be dull and stressful; Junior year of high school pretty much prepped you for that. Luckily (depending on how you see it) for you, Jake is the complete opposite. He loved extra-curriculars, joining clubs, joining sports teams, and always made honor roll; essentially, he loved making new friends, trying new things. Everyone adored him and he had practically a long line of people waiting to be his friend. If only they knew they just had to be allergic to any sort of social activity and he would’ve immediately taken them under his wing. He’s always tried to have you venture out of your comfort zone, and sometimes, it worked. This time, however, you honestly didn’t see yourself branching out alongside him. Which both bummed you out and seemed as if it was inevitable.

Who knew that the kid you met at your fifth grade honor roll assembly and pizza party would be the one you ended up applying to colleges with, let alone plan on going to the same college with? Well, actually, you and Jake didn’t quite get along at first, it was your moms that became best friends well before the two of you did. But, thankfully, both of your moms showed up to the honor roll assembly and brought the two of you together. Even if at first he would try to make conversation with you and you would just nod your head in response, too shy to actually say anything back. At first, he thought you hated him and at the time, you thought he was annoying, but somehow you both came to find these qualities about each other endearing. There were a lot of times you were grateful to have met him and have him as your best friend.

But when he brought up the topic of a fraternity mixer while he was helping–well, more like he was the only one working–assemble an IKEA storage unit for your dorm room as you both sat on your floor, you automatically rolled your eyes. You weren’t surprised in the slightest that one of the first things he wanted to do since you guys got to college was join a frat; it’s like he was born for this, and you mean it in the least douchey way possible.

“Come on, it’s just like, some mixer; nothing major. I really want you to come. Please?” he says as he drags out the “e” at the end.

You roll your eyes again and let out a huff, handing him the screwdriver to which he rolls his eyes in return and takes it. “It’s only been a week and you’re already rushing a frat?”

“What? Think I’m not good enough for them?” he asks, joking as he continues to assemble the storage unit for you. You knew he was perfect for this sort of thing, you swear, he was already breezing through it as a pledge, or at least he was making it seem like it. Besides, you’re pretty sure that he is even mistaken as a member already around campus. “It’s not even going to be that bad. Plus, there’s going to be free booze and hella cute chicks, so there’s that to look forward to.” he says as he grins to himself.

“Gross,” you mumble, “it’s not really sounding like there’s anything for me at this dumb thing.”

He chuckles a little. “What? You mean the thought of hanging out with a bunch of sweaty dudes playing beer pong doesn’t sound enticing?”

You shudder, “You’re not really selling your case here, pal.”

He laughs. “C’moooonnnnn,” he whines, playfully bumping his shoulder with yours, “I promise you’ll have fun. And if not, then we’ll just leave after an hour and get some food. Sound good?”

You think for a moment before letting out a huff, “Fine. But if you even leave me alone for a second with those…heathens, then I will never speak to you again.” you say, half joking, half serious.

“You’re acting like these dudes are all terrible people; they’re not the spawn on Satan, y’know.” he says as he can sense the hesitance and apprehension in your voice. “I promise I won’t leave you and I’ll hold your hand the whole time.” he says as he coos and then laughs to himself.

“Dear god.” you mutter, rolling your eyes again, which only makes him chuckle.

“I’m just kidding. But seriously, you’re coming. Who knows, it could be a funny story later on.”

“Right. I bet it’ll elicit all sorts of chuckles.” you say, sarcastically.

He laughs again, shaking his head slightly as he focuses on working on the IKEA product. He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe you’ll even meet someone there. Imagine if you fell in love with one of the frat dudes.” he laughs at his own thought.

You scoff, “Ew.”

“I know, right? How mortifying, you fall in love with some muscular, frat boy named Chad.” he shivers, “Scary.” he says, teasing you.

You laugh, “Shut up.”

He chuckles softly and then stops working to look at you. “But seriously, will you please come with me? It would be nice having you there, and it will be our first college party together, how can you possibly pass that up?” he says as he pouts slightly, giving you his best “puppy dog eyes”.

You roll your eyes and playfully shove his shoulder, “Ew, fine! Stop doing that.”

He laughs and grins, “You are the best friend I could ever ask for!” he says, acting overly enthusiastic as he hugs you tightly, ruffles your hair, then kisses your cheek. “We’re gonna have so much fun, you’ll see.”

“Bleh,” you jokingly whine as you wipe your cheek, “yeah, yeah. Just finish my storage thing.”

He rolls his eyes, “Yes ma’am.” he says as he continues working for a few more minutes. He finishes working on the storage unit, turning it upright and smiling proudly. “What would you do without me, honestly? BOOM!” he says as he smacks it lightly, “There it is, built by yours truly; you’re welcome.” he says with a smug grin.

“Alright, alright, calm down.” you say as you laugh a bit. You stand up, rolling it over to a corner in your dorm room.

Jake follows your lead, standing up as well. “Here, I can even help you pick out something to wear for the party. I was thinking of wearing a Polo-”

You turn to him and grimace, “Dear god, you’re already becoming one of them.”

He laughs and scoffs, “Hey, I make Polo’s look hot, don’t even try to act like I don’t. Besides, if I wear a short sleeved one, it will totally show off my muscles.” he says as he flexes a bit, grinning. You roll your eyes and pretend to gag and he laughs and stops flexing before nudging your arm. “Shut up.” he mumbles and turns to look at your closet. “Do you still have that dress you wore to that grad party we went to over the summer?”

“I mean, I think.” you say as you walk over to your closet rummaging inside it (even if there isn’t much room to rummage through).

You were kind of surprised to hear him talk about a dress you wore almost two months ago, but you didn’t think too much about it. You suppose maybe he only did because it was the first dress you wore in a while, so maybe he just subconsciously remembered about it. He glances at you as you look for the dress. He was secretly grateful you didn’t tease him for remembering about it, but he just thought you looked pretty in it. Not that you aren’t pretty all the time just…that time…he shakes his head to himself; it’s just a pretty dress.

He crosses his arms and peers over your shoulder, looking into what clothes you have in your closet as well. “What about that white top?” he asks, pointing out a white, low-cut tank top that is discarded to the side of the closet. “Wear that with a nice skirt or something; that’d look good.”

You glance at it and laugh, “I wear that to bed when it’s too hot. I am not wearing that to the party; my boobs will literally be spilling out of it.”

He pauses for a moment before speaking again. “And that’s a bad thing because…?” He grins, giving you a quick wink which results in you punching his shoulder. He laughs and rubs his shoulder. “Kidding, kidding! But seriously, pick out something. You’ll look amazing in whatever you choose.” he shrugs casually. You roll your eyes and keep rummaging through your closet, suddenly hating every article of clothing you own. He leans against the wall next to your closet, “I swear to god, I can never understand why girls sometimes take so long to pick out what they wear. It’s like, how hard can it be to choose something quickly and then wear it?”

“Jesus, fine, you pick out something, then.” you say as you walk over to your bed, laying on it. “You’re the one who wants me to go, anyway.”

Jake smiles mischievously, walking over to your closet and looking through your clothes. “Do you have those tight, high-waisted jeans? The ones you wore last weekend?”

You raise an eyebrow. Is he talking about the ones you wore to the brunch your mom took you out to with him and his mom? You laugh. “Probably. My mom bought them, so she probably snuck them in there somewhere.” you don’t even realize you’re smiling a bit to yourself, a part of you secretly liking that he remembered them; maybe you looked better than you thought. “Aren’t skinny jeans, like, out or whatever?”

Jake shrugs. “All I know is your ass looked good.” he says as he spots them after looking through some of your bottoms. He grabs them and tosses them at you, the jeans hitting your stomach, causing you to let out a small “oomph”. “And pair it with that white tank top. For your shoes…” he shrugs, “maybe your Doc Martens or something casual. That’ll look good.” he says as he looks at you, nodding his head in satisfaction. “There. Done. And it only took, like, two minutes. See? It wasn’t even hard.” he jokes.

“You chose, quite literally, the most basic outfit known to man.”

“Oh, come on, it’s not even that bad. Besides, you’ll pull it off, anyway.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “I’ll wear the pants and the shoes, but I am not wearing my “booby” shirt, you perv.”

“Oh, c’mon. You know you like to show it off sometimes.” he says, grinning as he wiggles his eyebrows before laughing softly. “Just wear it, please? For me?” he jokes in a playfully flirty tone. “Plus, I need some sort of eye candy when we go to this thing.”

You scoff, playfully. “Ohhhhh, I see what this is.” you say as you sit up on your bed. “You’re hoping if you bring a hot girl to the mixer, you’ll have an automatic in with these frat fuckers, right?”

The tips of Jake’s ears turn slightly red and he scoffs, looking away before looking back at you. “What? No, that’s not the reason. Not the entire reason, anyway.” he says, laughing slightly to hide his embarrassment. “It’ll just be nice to go with you, okay?”

“Uh-huh, suuuurrrreeee.”

He laughs before going to sit beside you on your bed. “Okay, fine, fine, you got me. I did want to bring a hot girl so it'd be easier to get in with the frat. But that's not the whole reason! I also wanted to go with my best friend since we haven't really hung out this week because of classes. And I knew I'd need at least one sane person to keep me in check. Or, at least, as sane as you can get." he teases, wearing that stupid giddy grin of his he gets whenever he feels he said something hilarious.

You scoff, playfully, “Watch it.” you warn.

He laughs, “Sorry, sorry. I meant a perfectly sane, normal human who doesn’t listen to musicals in her spare time.”

You nudge his arm, “Hey! That was middle school me, back off.”

He laughs again, “I’m messing with you. But seriously, I am glad that you’re coming. It’ll be way more fun with you there.” he smiles that typical charming smile he does, not because he knows he looks good doing it, but because he just does anyway. “I really do appreciate you. Especially since you’re ‘sacrificing’ your sanity to be surrounded by these frat guys.”

“Soon, you’ll be one of them.” you shudder, “I’ll have to start writing my obituary for you.”

“Oh, come on, we’re not all that bad. I'm sure there's at least a few decent guys there that aren't complete douchebags. They're just...eccentric." he jokes, "This mixer will be a great chance for me to maybe get an in with the career path I wanna take plus if I leave a good impression with the frat guys, maybe I won’t have to be a pledge for much longer."

“‘We’re’? Oh my god, you’re already clumping yourself together with them!” you say in fake horror.

“Oh my god, you’re right.” he says in the same tone with a shocked expression. “I’m turning into one of them without even realizing it! Quick, snap me out of it!” he says, laughing slightly.

You shrug, “Gladly.” you say before punching his shoulder. It honestly hurts your knuckles, but you decide to keep that to yourself and ignore the pins and needles shooting through your hand.

He frowns and looks at you with an “i’m not mad, just disappointed look” which causes you to burst out laughing. “You know, you’ve got a mean right hook. Who knows, you might be the one joining the frat.” he says, rubbing his shoulder a little before wrapping his hand over your knuckles, squeezing it a little. He knows you probably hurt your hand a bit, so he hopes this makes your hand feel a little better before letting go.

“I’d rather die.” you say in such a serious manner, he can’t tell whether you’re joking or not, but he laughs nonetheless.

“Just get dressed. I’ll come get you later, okay?” he says as he gets off of your bed.

You groan, “Fine. But I hope you know, you are throwing me to the wolves by making me wear this outfit.”

He laughs and opens your door. “Have to let them know I’m there with the best-looking, smartest, and funniest girl at the party somehow.” he says with a wink.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms. “You’re lucky flattery works with me.” you mutter.

He grins, “What can I say? I know you so well, babe.” he says before nodding his head as a goodbye and walking out of your dorm room, closing the door behind him.

Against your will (and your own regard for fashion), you wore what Jake had picked out for you. He smirks a bit as he looks at you after opening your door when he knocks around a few hours later. He looks you up and down, and you notice how his gaze lingered a little longer on your chest before meeting your eyes. You cross your arms, unintentionally pushing your chest a little together, he scoffs as his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah…I’m for sure getting into this frat.” he says, mainly saying it to himself, but you would be lying if it didn’t give you a little bit of an ego boost.

“Pipe down, it’s literally the most basic outfit known to man.”

“But you make it look hot…real hot.” he grins.

You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder. “Don’t even.” you mumble as you walk out of your dorm room, closing and locking the door behind you.

He laughs softly as you start walking to the frat house, which is just around a block away. As you step outside, you shiver a bit from the cold and you frown at the fact that you didn’t bring a jacket, but you honestly felt too lazy to turn around and go back to grab one. He notices (and since he wasn’t wearing one either), he opts for putting his arm around your shoulders, pulling you a bit closer.

“You have to admit, this is a little exciting. I mean, it’s our first college party and I’ll make it my mission to make it memorable.”

He honestly means that; he genuinely wants you to have a good time. He knows how you would rather be spending your time right now, just laying in your bed as you watch some show you’ve seen a thousand times, but he wants to break you out of that. Not that he has any problem with you being more introverted or wants to mold you into something he wants you to be, he has a more…specific reason than that. Your smile. As you two walk, he smiles to himself just thinking about it. How, whenever he sees you smiling this certain way–like you’re smiling for the first time–it’s like time stops; like you’re the only thing of importance in that very moment because nothing else matters, nothing else could possibly compare to how special and beautiful you look in those moments. It makes him feel giddy and the first time he ever saw you smile like that, he knew he had to do whatever it took to make it happen again.

“Maybe for you, but if it smells like B.O. and weed, I am so out of there.”

He laughs and covers his mouth, his laugh coming out louder than he expected it to. He runs that hand through his hair and turns his head to look at you. “I feel like you have some underlying stereotypes about frat boys.”

“And until this party proves me otherwise, it’ll stay that way.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then you’re on your own once you join their cult.”

He chuckles softly and shakes his head a bit. “I’m not going to become some buff incel just because I want to join this fraternity.”

You knew that. Well, you were hoping that would be the case. But this is different. This is college. Dramatic, maybe, but you were afraid the two of you would split apart and although you have other friends, he’s the one you’ve had for years. He knows everything about you and has seen you through all of your phases and vice versa. You just feel this looming anxiety that him joining this fraternity will be the first step in the direction of you two no longer being friends; that you’ll just become people you pass by on your way to class. You don’t want to tell him this, though, you’re not really ready to have a discussion (which may turn into an argument) about this just yet. You feel terrible for wanting this, but you’re secretly hoping he doesn’t get in. Not because you don’t want him to branch out and experience his own things in college, well, maybe a little. Maybe you’re selfish. Or maybe you’re saving him from turning into a douche. At least, that’s what you’ll tell yourself to feel better about hoping he doesn’t get in. It’s just because you want him to not forget about you. You’re not as outgoing as him, so what if he starts to find you to be boring? The thought made you frown.

Ten minutes. It’s been ten minutes and this party is already making you feel like you’re being suffocated from the amount of people at this thing, all of whom already seem to be drunk. Once you and Jake got here, you could already tell you were going to hate every lousy minute you had to spend at this party. Especially since there have already been a few people who’ve had their eyes on you for a little longer than you wanted. You tried to make this situation a positive, trying to just relax and have fun as you see Jake greeting the many people he already knows. It’s only been a week since the semester started and he already knew at least twenty people here (yes, you counted). He introduced you to everyone he’s greeted, though, he didn’t want to make you feel left out. He could see you were a little uncomfortable, probably just because it was crowded and loud, so he decided to take you to the kitchen, getting the two of you some drinks.

He smiles warmly, “We can dance if you want, or we can just talk, drink, get wasted, and judge people. Up to you.” he says, nudging your arm.

You smile a little and playfully roll your eyes. “I know that’s now what you want to do.”

“But it’s what you want to do.”

You look at him for a moment and before you say anything back, you hear a loud, booming voice calling Jake over. You both look and see some of the frat brothers laughing and motioning for him to come over as they yell at him like he’s some football player on the team they love. You glance at Jake.

“Please go so they stop.”

He laughs and nods, walking over to them. You take another sip of your drink and then you see someone you met in one of your classes. They notice you and wave and you wave back before going over to talk with them.

Jake walks over to the group of four of the frat boys and greets them, dapping them up. One of them motions their head towards you, “So…who’s she?” he asks, crossing his arms as he grins. The others nod their heads and Jake turns to glance at you before looking at them.

He shrugs, smiling shyly, “She’s my best friend-”

“She rushing Delta Theta Zow?” another one asks.

Jake shakes his head, “Nah, sororities aren’t her thing.”

“Too bad, she’s hot.”

Jake feels himself frown slightly at that. Sure, his intention was to hopefully have them think you’re hot so they would be more inclined to go easier on him when hazing, maybe even just decide to let him in if he could prove he knew some hot girls despite how shallow that sounds. It’s just the way he said it, the way they’re looking at you, that makes him feel sick.

“Tell you what, Jakey, you let us…get to know her, and who knows, you might just be exactly who we’re looking for.” one of them suggests.

Jake feels all of the blood suddenly drain out of his body and the frat brother grins, nudging another one. “Or, tell you what.” he says, putting his arm around Jake, “You sleep with her and you may just be one of the newest members of Alpha Omega Phi. Sound like a deal?”

“You want me to…”

“Fuck her.”

Well, there goes his chances of joining this frat, which surprisingly, is one of the more tame options out of the other ones. This one has great connections to people in the field of computer science and engineering, which is what he desperately wants to achieve. This could give him a big head start…but he can’t just use you.

He chuckles nervously, “I don’t know…she’s not like that-”

“Too bad,” the frat brother says as he takes his arm off of Jake, “We thought you would’ve fit right in with us.” the others nod their heads in agreement.

Jake thinks for a moment. “...alright…fine.”

The four of them cheer, which ignites cheers from other party goers, making Jake look around and find it a bit strange that they hold that kind of power.

“You can use Bradley’s room, he could use some sort of action on that bed.” one of them teases and the others laugh. Jake nods his head, trying to laugh along and then they shove him to go over to you. Jake quickly walks over to you, setting his drink on the counter and grabs your arm.

“The hell-?” you say as he quickly drags you upstairs into a bedroom and he closes the door behind the two of you, looking at you kind of panicked. “What the hell is your problem-”

“They want me to fuck you.”

You feel yourself freeze, all of your muscles tensing up at what just came out of his mouth. Was he being serious? “...deadass?”

“Deadass.”

“Damn…” you mutter, him releasing your arm from his grip. “So…”

He shrugs, “So…” he repeats.

“Guess you’re not getting into this frat.”

He looks at you for a moment, “So, this is like…a for sure thing.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Dude, I’m not having sex with you so you can join a frat.”

“Come on,” he pleads, using his puppy dog eyes again. To be honest, he knew you would say no for obvious reasons, but this was important to him. Sure, you’re important to him, too, which is kind of why he also figured you would be okay with doing this as a favor. “this is really important, I have to get into this frat. I could get an upper hand with some major companies I want to work for once we graduate. Please?” he clasps his hands together, “Just do me this one favor.”

“Fucking me is not a favor.”

“Well, it’s also not a punishment-”

You scoff, shoving his shoulder lightly and he laughs softly. It goes quiet for a moment between the two of you and he looks at you, expecting, wanting you to change your mind.

“How would they know, anyway? Can’t we just, like, pretend to have had sex? You know, like that scene in Easy A.” you suggest.

“In what?”

“Oh my god, we have to add that to our list of movies to watch, it has Emma Stone, so you already know it’s going to be good-”

“Okay, okay, yeah we can watch it later. Are you going to let me fuck you or what?”

You groan, “Can’t I just give you my panties or something and then you can wave them around and brag about it? Actually, don’t do that.”

“Look, this frat is made up of guys in business, engineering, chemistry, and physics majors, they’re not stupid. They’ll know, trust me, and I really don’t want to have to deal with any more hazing because I’m pretty sure it’s just going to keep getting worse and I would actually like to survive my first few weeks of college.”

“Or…you could just not join.”

He frowns, “You know how much this means to me.” You sigh. Yes, you thought this was stupid, but you also weren’t dumb enough to not realize how joining this frat could actually help him in the future. You saw the superficialness of it all and you knew he wasn’t dumb enough to see past it either, but Jake has worked really hard and besides, you would be lying if you said you saw this as a worst case scenario. “Please?” he asks, anticipating your answer.

You sigh again, “Fine.”

He smiles, “God, yes, thank you so much.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“I’ll make you feel so fucking good.” he says. You thought you should take it as a joke, but he says it with a more serious tone before he hooks his fingers through the loop of your jeans, pulling you closer as he leans in, kissing you.

You were a little surprised by him just going for it so suddenly, but you close your eyes and kiss him back. His hand travels up to your waist, holding onto it as his other hand moves to the side of your face, cupping it as he pulls you closer, his fingers slightly tangling with your hair. He tilts his head, slipping his tongue past your lips, sending shivers down your spine as it slides over your own. He kisses you with a sort of hunger, not expecting to be kissing you with so much intensity, but once his lips met yours, it’s like a switch went off for him and he can’t help himself from wanting you more and more.

He guides the two of you over to the bed as you continue to kiss, him grunting softly as his eyebrows furrow together, feeling himself getting hard from just kissing you. He parts from your lips, having you both gasp for air before he pushes your hair aside, feeling his long, thin fingers brush past your neck before being replaced with his soft, plump lips. He leaves open mouthed kisses along the side of your neck before turning you around, your ass pressing against his hard on, making him moan softly into your ear from the contact, his precum leaking and staining his underwear and pants. You tease him, grinding against him slightly which makes him bite your neck softly as he continues kissing along the side of it, down to your shoulder. He grips your hips tightly, stopping your movements and you feel his lips and hot breath brush against your ear.

“Don’t play with me.” he whispers, gently nibbling on your earlobe before pulling away. His hands slip to the button of your jeans, undoing it and slowly zipping down the zipper. He pushes your jeans down just slightly, a little past your ass and he feels like he’s going to pass out from his fingertips gently grazing the edge of your underwear alone. He kisses your neck again, his left hand going to your neck, gently gripping it as he moves your head to the side to give him more room. That action alone almost makes you moan, but you just gasp softly as his right hand slips its fingers past your waistband, finally feeling them push against you. He moans at the feeling of you already being so wet and he coats his fingers in your arousal, making a mess in your panties.

He uses his middle and ring finger to press and circle your clit, causing you to gasp and close your eyes, your head falling back against his shoulder and he pulls away from your neck, breathing slightly heavily. He turns his head to look at you, leaving gentle kisses on the side of your face as he moves his fingers down, pushing them inside of you. From the way your lips part and you let out the softest moan, your eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, he can feel himself almost cum at the sight alone. He pushes his fingers in and out of you, his thumb rubbing your clit and he leaves a kiss against your ear.

“That’s right, baby, you like this, hm? Fuck, you’re so wet, do you want me to just fuck you now?” he whispers against your ear, knowing he, himself, wants nothing more than to do just that. He fingers you faster, curling them against your walls as the pads of his fingers reach areas you can’t. You moan louder, feeling your legs shake and he smirks. “I bet you taste so good.” he whispers and he pulls his fingers out of you and your panties. “Open.” he demands and you open your mouth, slightly sticking out your tongue and he puts his fingers into your mouth. You lick them as he shoves them a little deeper and then pulls them out, sliding the mixture of your spit and arousal on your bottom lip before he turns your head and kisses you, wanting to taste you. He licks your lip, he sucks your tongue, anything he can just to have you on his lips. He moans softly and pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your lips before breaking. He’s decided he needs more.

He runs his hand along your back, slightly pushing you so you bend over the bed. You can feel your heartbeat against the comforter of the bed. He pulls your jeans down to your ankles, biting his bottom lip as he grins at the full view of your ass on display. His eyes look over how soaked your panties are, feeling a sense of pride knowing he did it. He gently squeezes and kisses one side of your ass, playfully biting it and then realizes he likes the idea of him marking you like this. He bites it a little harder, you moaning and whining at the feeling, your fingers gripping onto the bed sheet. He grins, kissing his teeth marks before he pulls down your underwear, feeling as though he is looking at the gates of heaven itself, his eyes locking onto your pussy. He mumbles something to himself that you can’t hear, but you suddenly feel his tongue slide slowly along and in between your folds. Your mouth opens as you moan, feeling yourself clenching around nothing and he chuckles softly, licking his lips.

He can feel his cock twitch in his pants, more warm precum sticking to his thigh and underwear. He goes back in for more, low groans and moans coming deeply from his throat as he buries his face into your swollen pussy, covering his face in your slick. “You taste so fucking good.” he says with a raspy voice, the vibrations feeling as though they travel throughout your whole body as you moan, feeling his tongue lick feverishly. You feel yourself drool at how he spreads your legs more, his nose and tongue all pressing into you more, him hooking his arms under your thighs, his hands resting and squeezing your ass, raising your hips slightly as he licks and sucks your clit. His nose rubs between your swollen folds as you moan louder, gripping the sheets tighter.

He licks faster, making out with your cunt as his tongue slips in and out of you. You let out a long moan, feeling as if your knees buckle, cumming all over his tongue, lips, chin, and nose. He moans into your pussy, licking up all of your release and he pulls away, looking at your glistening pussy, rubbing his fingers between your slit, spreading the mixture of his spit and your cum all over. His tongue licks his lips clean, reaching down to lick the part of his chin it can reach and he lets out a low groan, relishing in your taste. You whine as he gives a soft slap to your pussy, licking his fingers clean before using it to collect your cum from the rest of his face and licking that up as well.

He flips you over, leaning down to kiss you again and you kiss him back eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands roam along the sides of your body, his right one moving up to your chest and groping your breast through your shirt, you moan and whine as he squeezes it tightly, palming and kneading it as he starts to kiss you roughly. His breaths are heavy and before he even knows what he’s doing, he rips your shirt open, his patience dwindling with each second that passes. He kisses down your throat and buries his face between your breasts, kneading them as he kisses between them. He squeezes and pushes them together, licking across them and switching between each one to leave kisses on. He pulls down the cups of the bra, your nipples hardening more from the sudden cold air hitting them as your breathing becomes shallow and you moan with how he is handling you.

He flicks his tongue over your nipple, sucking and gently tugging at it with his teeth. His tongue swirls around your nipple, his hand squeezing the breast to fill more of his mouth as saliva runs down his chin. He moves and does the same with the other one and your chest rises and falls, moans escaping your lips. Your hand moves and tugs at his shirt, pulling the fabric up and he notices, moving away from you as he takes it off quickly. You feel yourself get even wetter at the sight of his toned arms and abs, looking over every curve of his upper body and he grins. He takes your hand and places it on his abs, moving it over them slowly and you both moan quietly to yourselves. He lets go of your hand and slides off his shoes, you taking the initiative to do the same. You both undress the rest of yourselves quickly and you feel yourself stop in your tracks when you see his long, thick cock slap against his abdomen. You clench around nothing as your eyes look over each vein, biting your bottom lip.

You reach out, using your finger to slide it over his tip, collecting the precum. His breath gets caught in his throat as he watches you, as you also collect the precum from the side of his thigh. You bring your fingers to your lips, licking them slowly as you look up at him. He watches you intently, his eyes shifting from your fingers, to your tongue, to your lips, to your eyes. You let out a soft moan as you taste him, licking your fingers clean and he reaches out, his hand grabbing your chin and lifting your head up to look at him more. He looks down at you, grinning before kissing you, tasting him on your tongue; that fact alone made him feel proud. He pushes you back against the bed, positioning himself between your legs. He kisses your temple muttering a “thank you” before pushing himself into you.

Your back arches slightly at the feeling, the pressure between your legs, the way that your walls mold and clench around his cock makes your head spin. You can feel the ridges of the veins in his cock grazing against them, making you clench tighter. He grits his teeth, cursing under his breath as he pushes himself fully into you. He moans and whines a little at the overwhelming feeling of you around him. His forehead rests on yours as he catches his breath, his hands wandering down the sides of your waist to your hips, gripping them tightly as he holds back the urge to cum. He thrusts slowly, sliding in and out of you, subtle squelching noises of your wetness coating his cock. This sound alone, however, causes him to go faster, moans spilling from your lips as the bed creaks harshly, the headboard hitting the wall. His grip becomes tighter and he clenches his jaw, letting out short breaths as he pulls away, watching your tits bounce with each thrust. He reaches and grabs one, playing with your nipple and fondling the breast, his eyes rolling back a bit as he moans. He fucks into you harder and faster, his hips meeting yours quickly, his balls slapping against your ass, the sound of your skin slapping, your moans becoming increasingly louder as your cunt swallows his cock each time he thrusts into it, his soft whines with short moans, and your arousal spreading between your thighs while getting on his drives him wild.

He pulls out and you gasp at the empty feeling. He grabs your hips and flips you over, pushing your ass up and spreading your legs, sliding himself back in, pounding into you harder and faster. You moan–almost screaming–at the sudden change of pace, your face buried into the mattress as your body shakes. He moans, gripping your ass tightly as he uses that to keep him steady while he fucks you. You moan and scream his name into the mattress, making him moan in return. He grabs a handful of your hair, pulling your head up from the mattress, making you moan and gasp.

“Scream it now.” he demands, fucking you deeper, his other hand reaching to rub circles on your clit hard and fast.

Your eyes roll back a bit and you comply, screaming his name, letting out a lewd moan afterwards as pleasure overtakes your body, your orgasm crashing down. You clench tightly around him, repeating his name over and over as you cum. That was all he needed and until now, he never realized that’s all he wanted. He thrusts harshly a few more times, going back to gripping your hips before moaning your name and pulling out. He pumps his cock a few times and flips you back over, you just giving in because your mind was blank at the moment. He moves up and moans deeply as he cums on your breasts, watching as the pearly white liquid spills on your nipples and the soft flesh, feeling warm and sticky on your skin.

He lets out a breath he seemed to be holding and kisses you. You kiss him back, sloppily, before he pulls away, moving to your chest. He kisses your nipples, a little bit of his cum on his lips before he licks it off. He uses his pointer and middle fingers to spread the cum around your nipples in a slow, circular motion, making you shiver. He smiles, and collects his cum onto his fingers off of your breasts. You open your mouth and he chuckles softly, sticking his fingers in your mouth as you suck and lick them.

“So good…so pretty…” he whispers to you.

You blush a little and he pulls his fingers out. He moves off of you and you both just take some time to catch your breath. You sit up and you both look at each other before bursting out into laughter. You both calm down after a moment before getting up to put on your clothes, but after you put on everything but your shirt is when you realize you can’t.

You glare at him, “Genius, what the hell am I supposed to wear?” you ask, holding up your ripped shirt.

He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Damn, my bad.” he looks around and then he takes off his shirt, handing it to you. You raise an eyebrow and take it, putting it on. He walks to the closet and just grabs a shirt from there, putting it on. “I’ll give it back later.” he says, to which you laugh.

You both walk out of the room, seeing two of the frat boys Jake was talking to earlier. They smile smugly and whistle, cheering a bit and you roll your eyes. They give a thumbs up to Jake and he smiles a bit awkwardly before leaning to whisper in your ear, “Let’s get out of here.” You both walk silently as you leave the party. After a moment, he speaks, “Thanks…by the way…and I’ll buy you a new shirt and…I definitely owe you one.”

“You better get into this frat, I swear to God.”

He laughs, “Damn right.” he says as he nudges your arm and you nudge back. “So, how can I make this up to you?”

You think for a moment and then shrug. “It wasn’t all that bad.”

He scoffs, “Gee, thanks.”

You laugh, “You know what I mean.”

He smirks and looks at you. “You know…you look even hotter in my shirt.”

You roll your eyes and laugh. “What a random thing to say.”

He shrugs, “Maybe…we could do this again.”

You look at him, quiet for a moment. “...very funny.”

“I’m serious.” he says as he looks back at you. He smiles a bit and wraps his arm around your shoulder. “Are you down or what?”

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laelelinae · 5 months ago

Note

Hi!! Can you please do childhood besties to lovers hc for my man kuroo

Take care of yourself

:-🧚🏻‍♀️anon

Childhood friends to lovers . ° 。 · (kids to hs to adults)

haha this is kinda a nonsense,I was so tired while writing this (sent help)

warnings: nonsense ahahahahzhgagagagag😈😈😈 (I’m tweaking)

The first time this man met you as a kid with Kenma he instantly went (

“I’m gonna marry her someday!” HE SAID THAT SO CONFIDENTLY AND LOUDLY.

Kenma gave him a “are you serious?” Look ..ouch

Lil kuroo ignored kenma as he went up to you (he randomly picked some flower that was near him in the grass area 😔

He came up to you and was like

“Hey you! I’m gonna marry you someday”

boy, Kenma instantly acted like he didn’t know him HSHSH

Little you chuckled at this boy behavior. YOU BLUSHED😝

“Really?” You asked him and he replied “really! Is a promise!”

SOO YOU GUYS FAKE MARRIED AT THE PARK AND THATS HOW YOUR FRIENDSHIP STARTED!!

. . .

You dragged him to introduce him to your parents,he did the same!

Andddd your parents also got along with each other (they are the type to say like “yeah..I will make y/n marry kuroo!”)

You guys went to the same elementary school but you were a year younger than him,so you’re in the same year as Kenma! You guys honestly vibe together

. . .

You and Kenma was like good friends too,literally only you and kuroo understood him😭

Kuroo is honestly kinda jealous of you spending time with Kenma due to the year gap…😞

Stops by a lot to check up on you and Kenma!

Literally was ripping his hair out,realizing once he graduated 6th grade ,he would have to leave you and Kenma alone for a year 💀 (he was overreacting)

Once you got into the same middle school as him with Kenma (BOY ONCE THIS MAN JUST HIT PUBERTY..)

He got way more bold and flirty also “annoying” to Kenma😭

EVERYONE in your middle school thought Kuroo was your boyfriend 💀

Kenma sometimes nudged you about it in a lazy way since he can clearly tell you two had some sort of thing but you can’t even see it yourselves?!

He went like “oh by the way..your boyfriend told me to go find him afterschool”

You would blush so hard and smacked him (kenma doesn’t mind it tbh)

YOU WOULD HAVE SLEEPOVERS WITH THE TWO AWH

Your parents often ask you “is Kuroo coming?” “Were you out with Kuroo?” “WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DATE HIM?” (Your parents LOVES HIM)

You never got in any relationship bc you weren’t sure and you wanted to focus on your future and your work yk?

And..when high school hits..

When Kuroo was in second year,you and Kenma was in first year..

KUROO FUCKING ASKED YOU OUT

Kenma was NOT surprised at all

And of course ,you accepted it but your relationship was like yk..kinda awkward ?

After an year,when he was in his third year and you were in your second year

You two broke things off since you felt like it was too bothering for your career path yk?

He understood why,your parents did,Kenma did and yourself did

Kuroo lowkey was depressed 😭

After graduation,etc bla bla..

You became a manager for Hinata’s MSBY team

You had this job bc of Kenma helping ya since you kinda already knew Hinata in high school.

You didn’t talk to Kuroo that much anymore after graduation,he was busy with his future but you heard he became some association job in japans volleyball supply service department

Lowkey you missed him (kenma could tell👎)

And one dayyy…during one of the team meetings for MSBY Mr kuroo showed up😨

Your jaw DROPPED when you saw him (he did too,it was just inside his mind)

After that meeting,blud chased you down to talk to you

And you guys started talking again!😨

After a year or so ,you guys did got closer over the time again and his inner child came out 😭

Just once again that silly kuroo you know..

Andddd one day,he took you out on a “platonic” date

And..

“Y/n,can we try to date again?” HUHUHUHU

OFC YOU SAID YES BAHAH

This time was way better than what it was in high school,you two were wayyy happier and can manage the relationship easily.

After like errrrhh one year with Kuroo,one random night he brought to some beach and it was such a pretty view (lowkey was giving the song sweater weather,im listening to it while writing this lol)

“Y/n,remember the promise we made?”

“Which one”

“Our first ever promise.”

“The one where you said your gonna marry me?”

“Mhm”

HE GOT ON ONE KNEE AND THEN PULLS OUT A FANCY AHHH RING

YOU WERE GONNA PASS OUT LMFAOAOA

AND OFCCCCC YOU SAID YESSS <333333

. . .

Honestly you two first told Kenma and he gave you a proud ahh smile like “wow,finally.” LMFAO

When your parents knew ,they were SO happy and your mom was talking to Kuroos was like “SEE THEY ARE MARRIED NOW”

LMFAOAOA EVERYONE KNEW YOU GUYS WERE CELEBRATING HAHA

Honestly kuroo is just the greatest husband <3

You love him,he loves you too.

#kuroo headcanons #kuroo x you #kuroo fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #hq kuroo #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo testuro #kuroo angst #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu kenma #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #hq angst #haikyuu angst #childhood

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maochira · 5 months ago

Note

So yknow how Ohma is kinda like a son to Yamashita and vise verse? Could you write some head canons (gender neutral) about this teenager (16/17) who kinda sees Ohma like their big brother? Once they first met never leaving him alone, pestering him and stuff? Reader is also a fighter (more on a lower level than everybody else) and likes to joke and taunt others sometimes, please?

I love all the works you do, especially the bllk coach dad stuff <3

Thank you so so much!!!

Tags: gn!reader, reader is Kazuo's youngest kid, reader is still in high school

Growing up you had a pretty good relationship with both of your older brothers. But when they became teenagers you drifted apart. A lot. Especially with Kenzo

You also fought a lot with Yasuo until at one point, he said he hated you. He didn't truly mean it and only said it in anger, but it still ended up being your breaking point. After that you stopped talking to him entirely

When Kazuo became Ohma's manager, at first he tried to keep the entire Kengan thing hidden from you. You're his only child that actually still talks to him and he didn't want to get you into any danger

He ended up telling you the truth after you met Ohma for the first time. Because there's no way he could keep this a secret any longer now that you've met Ohma

Especially because you were so amazed after finding out Ohma's a fighter and you started asking him all sorts of questions

Ohma was confused at first, but since Kazuo had already told him quite a bit about you, he quickly started feeling protective of you

As soon as you found out about the upcoming Kengan Annihilation Tournament you began to beg your father to let you come along. He was very strictly against it because you still had to go to school, and it could be very dangerous

But Ohma thought it'd be a good experience to take you along. He ended up convincing your father with the promise that he'll protect you and help you improve your fighting skills

Kazuo reluctantly agreed. He kept telling himself at least he (and Ohma) can keep an eye on you instead of leaving you alone at home

You basically never leave Ohma's side. The way you talk to him reminds Kazuo of the way you used to talk to your brothers and he always gets a little emotional

You also look up to Ohma and admire him a lot. He'd be weirded out by pretty much anyone else if they admired him the way you do

Ohma never knew what it's like to have siblings, so he has no idea why he feels so protective of you

At some point Kaede made a joke about you and Ohma acting like siblings and Ohma was like huh. That must be it

He started referring to you as his little sibling after that

#💟 maochira writes #kengan ashura #kengan ashura x reader #ohma tokita #ohma tokita x reader #tokita ohma #kazuo yamashita #kazuo yamashita x reader #yamashita kazuo #kenganverse #kengan x reader

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phantom-dc · 1 year ago

Text

Dad Hood - part 16

‘Ok Danny. Let us know if you see anything that looks familiar.’

After the plane had landed, the family set out in a rental car. They had decided to tour the town while it was still light outside. Since they had no leads, Danny was sitting on Jason’s lap and looking to see if he recognized something.

‘Oh! There! That’s the Nasty Burger! Can we go get burgers there? Please daddy? I promise it’s better than Bat-burgers!’

Jason looked at the fast-food place. At least that explained why Danny kept asking for ‘nasty’ burgers. Promising they would go there for lunch, they kept driving around. After a while they came across a large official building.

‘That’s the mayor’s office! Remember the frootloop? He worked there! He became mayor just to spite me and make my life difficult. But he is lost in space now, so it’s all good!’

Jason put down his gun. Looks like he’ll have to ask Green Lantern for a favor later. Too bad. A few minutes later they passed a school.

‘That’s Casper High! I go to school there! The food is gross, but at least it doesn’t come alive! One time the psychiatrist tried to kill my sister. That was Spectra, she’s dead too! But even deader than us, dad! She’s like fully dead!’

Danny then spots something across the street. He phases out of the car, and flies towards it. Jason immediately takes of after him, no way he was losing his kid in a city he didn’t know. He sees Danny nearly tackling a green-haired girl into a hug, who was standing next to a woman with blue hair and a blonde guy with a motorcycle.

‘HI GUYS! I’m back!’

Kitty looked at the little kid that was suddenly in her arms. Despite him being so small, she recognized him immediately.

‘Danny! Where have you been? Everyone has been so worried since Desiree wished you away!’

Johnny 13 ruffled the kids black hair.

‘Dang, little man! You got even smaller! You know that your family has been in a tizzy, right? It’s been weeks!’

Ember pried Danny out of Kitty’s arms and held him up to see.

‘Look at you! Now you’re an actual baby-pop! Almost as small as Youngblood!’

Jason manages to catch up and apologizes for Danny tackling the girl. He notices that the three teens glow, just like Danny does. Are they like Danny? Are they experiments as well? Or is there something about this city that causes it? He then notices that the blonde guy seem to become hostile.

‘Are you the reason that Baby-pop was away for so long?’

A shadow emerges from beneath the blonde’s bike. It is growling at him, making itself look big to intimidate Jason. Before Shadow can attack though, Danny speaks up:

‘No! He’s my daddy! He is really nice and took care of me! He worked reeeaaaally hard to get me back home! Please don’t hurt my dad!’

Calming down, Johnny recalls his Shadow. Kitty smacks him on the head for losing his cool. Wasn’t it obvious that the guy was worried about Danny? Jason, deciding to just accept all this to save himself from a headache, asked if they knew why Danny was so small. From their conversation it seemed they knew him when he was older. Johnny gave him an explanation:

‘Yeah, he was fighting Desiree. She can grant any wish, but messes it up so It’s not what you want. And his idiot of a pop wished him a kid again so he could hang with his dad from what I heard. After that Danny just disappeared. Guess he ended up with you, huh?’

Jason sighed. So that’s how Danny ended up in his appartement. Someone magicked him there to get rid of him. It also explained how he became a 5-year old. All this because of a rogue.

‘Poor baby-pop. Even when he does everything right, someone else messes things up for him. He always gets into trouble like this!’

While Ember laughed, Danny put up a serious face.

’Speaking of trouble, you guys aren’t causing any, right? Even if I’m tiny I can still kick your butt!’

Kitty giggled at the adorable threat:

Oh, no no! Don’t worry, little King! We’ve been good! No one’s causing trouble here!

Jason decides to cut this short. It’s starting to get late, and he needs to find Danny’s parents.

‘Look, we’ve been looking for Danny’s family all day. He has trouble remembering things, so could you tell us where he lives? If it’s a safe place…’

Johnny assures him that the Fentons are loving parents. The times they hunted him was because they didn’t know it was him. Different forms and all that. Plus, now they know that not all ghosts are evil they even let up on the hunt on other ghosts, as long as they don’t cause trouble. He points Jason to a long street, and tells him to follow it until he finds Fentonworks. Jason can’t miss it. Really.

When Jason and Danny get back to the car, the Waynes head into the street. For a moment they are wondering which of these houses was Danny’s. Then the giant UFO appears over the horizon. Hearing Danny’s calling out for home, they head there immediately. Sure enough, Fentonworks is written on the side. Danny is getting impatient, fussing in Jason’s hold. Taking a deep breath, Jason knocks on the door, the other Waynes behind him. An orange wall of a man opens the door, holding what looks like a sci-fi bazooka. Before Jason can react, the man has snatched Danny out of Jason’s arms:

‘DANNY-BOY! GIRLS! DANNY'S HOME!’

As the man starts hugging and doting on Danny, a woman in a blue hazmat-suit nearly jumps down the stairs and joins him.

‘SWEETIE! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?’

As the parents are over the moon, Jason and the others are standing in the doorway. A girl with orange hair and a 12-year old girl ran into the room as well. Seeing them, Danny gets even more exited.

‘Hi Jazzie! Hi Dani! I’m home! And I brought guests! Is that ok?’

Realizing there are people with Danny, Maddie invites them in. Jack gives Jason a nearly bone-breaking hug in gratitude for bringing his son home. The orange haired girl decides to introduce themselves.

‘Thank you so much for bringing Danny back home. I’m Jazz, his sister. These are our parents, Maddie and Jack. And that is our little sister Dani.’

Looking at Dani, Jason sees that she has picked Danny up, and swinging him back and forth.

‘Jeez Danny! You’re even smaller than me now! I’m a big sister now!’

As Danny laughs, Tim pipes up:

‘Wait, wasn’t Dani a clone?’

This causes Jazz to freeze.

‘You know?’

Jazz had hoped that Danny had managed to keep things a secret. But seeing as Danny was around 5, she realized that was hoping too much. And when she saw that these were the Wayne’s, a very famous family, she was now worried that his identity became public. Bruce assured her that wasn’t the case. They had been very careful to keep Danny hidden from any press. Jazz was relieved. Jack gave Bruce a good-hearted pat on the back that nearly toppled Bruce over. He always thought that Bruce was an airhead, but he guesses he’s not! Danny agrees with that:

‘Of course not! He’s the Batman! The worlds greatest detective!’

The Waynes freeze. Jazz just sighs.

‘Danny, you can’t tell people things like that. What if someone was spying on us?’

‘I’m sorry, Jazzie.’

Jazz just pats Danny’s head. Looking at the Waynes. Now that she took a look at them, they did resemble the bats a bit. It was the right amount of people after all. She assured them they would keep it a secret. After all, they kept Danny’s secret too.

‘So, which one of you is Danny’s dad? I’m assuming it’s you, Bruce?’

Jazz was surprised by the strange looks. Was she wrong? But he was the only one old enough for a 14-year old son? Then Jason stepped forward:

‘Actually, it’s me. Things are very weird, and I’m not sure where to start…’

‘Jazzie! Jason is dead, like me! And my mom is an assassin! And I’m really 6 years old! The assassin mom made me older! Isn’t that cool? I had a superhero origin before I even died!’

Jazz just looked at him. Jason understood that feeling all to well. Utter confusion, mixed with a smidge of horror. He’d become very acquainted with that feeling these past couple of weeks.

‘Yeah, I think we should explain what happened these past couple of weeks.’

Jason told the Fentons everything that happened. From Danny appearing in his appartement, to looking after him and the discovery of Danny’s powers. He told them about Danny’s birth and how he ended up in the orphanage the Fentons adopted him from. He also told them about the misunderstanding with the ‘frootloop’ and the fight he had with Bruce. After that the Fentons told them about their own stories. They explained how they used to hunt ghosts, and Danny’s accident. They explained why they hunted him and they gave more information about Vlad. They explained the Ghost Portal and how Danny saved the world with the help of the other ghosts. They were very proud of their boy. During the talk, Danny started to fidget.

‘Dad, how do I get big again? Desiree’s wishes are permanent after a while, right?’

‘I don’t know ho-’

‘Don’t worry, Dann-’

Jason and Jack looked at each other. Both had tried to answer Danny’s question, responding to being called ‘dad’. Jason suddenly realized that this was Danny’s family. He was a Fenton, not a Todd. As Jack leaves the room to go get something, and Jazz goes to call Sam and Tucker, Maddie puts her hand on Jason’s shoulder.

‘You know you are family now too, right? Just because he is back home doesn’t mean you have to leave his life. I’m sure that Danny would love to have you, whether he’s a child or a teenager.’

Jason smiles at her. He’d like that very much. At this point Jack comes back.

‘Here we go! Danny’s friend Clockwork gave us this. He forbade us for going to look for Danny, something about 'saving the Father' and ‘getting rid of a great evil’ in exchange. This medallion should make him older and fix him up again. Are you ready, Dann-o?’

Dani puts Danny down, and Jack slips the medallion around Danny’s neck. In a flash, Danny was now 14 years old.

Danny looked at himself, getting to know his older, bigger body again. Jason felt odd seeing the kid age up so quick, almost regretful. But even if it meant missing time raising Danny he knew it was for the best. Dick and Bruce were surprised just how much Danny looked like a younger Jason, though less skinny. Noticing Jason, Danny turned to him to thank him:

‘So, uhm… thank you for looking after me? That was… kind of you? Sorry, this feels weird.’

Danny felt a bit sheepish. He now realized he caused Jason a lot of trouble, and it was odd talking to him like this after being a kid for a while. Jason felt odd about it as well.

‘Yeah, no problem… So, this is the real Danny? Older Danny? I guess you won’t need the toys we got for you anymore.’

Danny laughed a bit. He might be keeping some of them.

‘If it’s ok with you, I’d like to keep the Red Hood one. And maybe we could give the rest to Dani instead.’

Jason smiled. It was nice that he was still Danny’s favorite. Seeing his own family hinting franticly behind them, Jason decided to push his luck a bit.

‘If you’d like, you could come over sometimes? Like for a holiday? We’ll get your room updated for a teenager and everything!’

Danny thought about it. He wanted to have Jason in his life.

‘I’d like that. I’d like that a lot!’

As Maddie starts inviting the Waynes for dinner and everyone starts to relax, Danny got a weird look in his eyes, his older mind realizing something important has happened:

‘Wait, did I kill a guy?’

END

First - Previous - AO3

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dc x dp #dp x dc #red hood #jason todd #dad jason #dad hood

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miaisocool · 1 year ago

Text

Echoes of silence

Business man!Daemon Targaryen x College student reader!

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: A very short chapter but as the story progresses it will get longer and more exciting i promise and props to @kymopoleiak for making me this collage please go follow her she is also working with me as i write the chapters. This is a chapter two to Succession in the city so if you haven't read that please go do so!! check it out i will provide a link below!

Chapter one: Succession in the city

Chapter summary: You discover yourself entangled in the intricate dance of hesitation. Your Heartbeat resonating with echoes of silence and opportunity as you prepare to take the initiative. You cant help but ponder what will this engagement of communication lead to opportunities or a chapter in your life writing itself away.

At brunch:

As you walked and talked with Mia, there was a sense of comfort held within her presence as she was your childhood friend well, not technically since you only met her your freshman year of high school. she also moved to los angeles to pursue her dream of going to college in california but she wasn't sure what to study. You talked about everything from work to relationships, the conversations you guys usually held between each other flowed easily there was never any awkward silence being held or grudges against each other.

Only the feeling of each others presence comforting the two of you there was a sense of vulnerability in you whenever it came to mia she was the friend who you would come to whenever there was something that you couldn't reveal to others she was the only one that had ever seen tears flowing from your eyes which was all so new to you since sadness was the one emotion you never truly expressed to anybody, not even yourself it was a rare occurrence whenever you would break down either due to stress, sadness or just bottled up emotions of holding everything in for so long.

The streets were filled with horns honking, shoes clacking against the pavement the cool breeze swept your hair into your face, you tucked it behind your ear with a thoughtless, practiced motion, as if you'd done it a thousand times before. Your high heels clacked against the concrete as you and mia walked to your favorite brunch spot that remind you of a similar brunch spot in new york,

During your junior year of high school where your ex boyfriend took you out for a first date you were young, vulnerable and thoughtless. He was whom and what your whole world revolved around you pushed all of your friends away to make room for him causing your social skills to go down although you were very social and a great conversationalist and just a good people person in general. You felt like you were bound to him, the late night phone conversations, talking about wedding plannings and how many kids you guys would have, where you guys would settle down and his answer was usually italy which was a answer you didn't agree with since california was your mission ever since you were a young girl you felt as if he was the only guy you could ever put your trust in.

Even years after the breakup there was slight tinges of heartbreak pulling on your heart strings as you still remembered the contact of his touch the way his calloused fingers from playing guitar for you until you fell asleep would graze up and down against your soft thighs the skin to skin hard and soft contact felt comforting to you, you guys were complete opposites but there was something that spiritually connected you guys together you couldn't remember his face though it was hard to get it out when your heart yearned for him.. But you were alone now not hopeless, alone, broken but you were free, alone, still young and truly yourself.

The restaurant was your comfort spot the warmth of the sun glazed on your face bringing out your dilated pupils as you thought of the man that came up to you in the coffee shop last week. The outside fan blowing a slight coldness to your face fighting against the sunny heat of california, dishes were clanking against each other as waiters were scurrying around the restaurant as if they were rats from ratatouille helping to serve the rush of customers that came in. The modern black leathered chairs bringing out the restaurants not very vibrant atmosphere gave you a weird tinge of discomfort people walking near you and mia as you guys sat down outside listening to the birds chirp and cars pass by. You felt a knot slowly untangle in your throat as you let words flow out your mouth "I mean.. i dont know.. should i call him?" you asked under your breath as you fiddled with the glass you were holding the question hung in the air until, mia took a sip of her water. Ice clinking against the glass and then she brought back the glass down to the table "i mean whats the worse that could happen?" she said nonchalantly. Mia was somewhat right whats the worse that could happen but what could go right and if it did end up going up right what would happen?

"I dont know.. im just scared"

"Of?"

"I dont know.."

"See? you dont even know whats holding you back," mia shook her head at you as she scrolled through her phone before putting it facing down on the table again

"Sometimes, it's easier to do nothing rather than put yourself out there," you whispered the words catching the back of your throat.

"Sometimes it's ok to be the first to reach out" mia gritted her teeth in frustration as her eyes drooped low in dissatisfaction

you nodded your head cause you knew she was right

You take out the business card from your wallet, and carefully dial the number into your phone, trying to steady your somewhat shaking hand. The ringing sounds of the phone echoes in your ear as you look and make eye contact with mia as she takes a spliff of her cigarette between her cherry tinted lipstick staining thumbing the print left by her lipstick as she dusts the idle ash as her eyes connected with yours with a mere look. You feel your heart beating fast as you await to hear someone's voice on the other end.

After what felt like an eternity, the seconds seem to stretch on for an eternity before someone finally answers, and you can hear the relief wash over you as you hear, "Thank you for calling Targaryen Law and associates you’ve reached Alexa how can i assist you today?” Her voice resonated with assurance, triggering a vivid flashback to your own days in customer service. Memories flooded back from when you were just 18, working at a local grocery store. You remembered the feeling of dread each time the phone rang, the pressure to handle customer inquiries. Alexa's composed demeanor stirred those long-buried recollections, reminding you of the challenges you once faced in a similar role you didn’t enjoy it but your coworkers that got along with you made you enjoy it. you had to make a living if you wanted to end up successful or not homeless at least.

With a deep breath, you manage to clear your throat and free it from the tense knot that had formed there. The echoes of the impatient silence you heard on the phone still ring in your ears, causing a dull ache deep within your chest. You feel as if the silence itself had taken physical form.

“Yeah hi this is kiara i was hoping to speak with Mr Targaryen? is he available by any chance?”

"I understand your urgency. Let me see if I can arrange a brief moment for you. Please hold for a moment while I try to get Mr. Targaryen on the line."

You place the phone away from you as you fiddled with it in with your right hand waiting for what you assumed to be his assistant or one of his employees to say a response back quickly as if you knew the next words that were going to come out her mouth but that was a lie you didn't know her at all you wanted to, you longed for the mystery everyone had.. the mystery the people in Los Angeles held in his aura peaked your curiosity.. You take a few deep breaths to release the tension from your shoulders. As you look up, the light from the sun reflecting off the glass buildings surrounding you blinds you for a moment. A cool gust of wind blows past, bringing in the smell of flowers and city life. The sounds of honking cars, people chatting, and the hum of the city surround you, but you feel disconnected from it all being seconds or minutes away daemons presence as you were being transferred right there and on the phone with you knowing you had to take initiative.

“Daemon Targaryen speaking.”

As you heard Daemon Targaryen’s, dominant voice, a palpable sense of authority washed over you sending adrenaline throughtout your heart slowly beating at a faster tempo his words, deep and commanding, resonated through the phone, leaving no room for uncertainty. You couldn’t help but feel a mixture of respect and awe, tinged with a hint of intimidation. It was as though his voice had a magnetic pull, drawing you into his sphere of influence. His confident tone left an indelible impression.

You found yourself in shock by the way his voice flowed through your ears, each word dripping with authority and confidence. It wasn’t just the words he spoke, but the cadence, the resonance that seemed to echo in the very core of your being his words resonating with every chord coming from the music that was blasting in the restaurant. In that moment, you realized you were not just hearing a voice…

you were experiencing a commanding presence that stirred something deep within you.

“Yeah hi this is kiara… you gave me you’re Business card last week in the coffee shop i’m not sure if you remember” In a moment of panic, you found your voice, though it trembled slightly, breaking the silence that followed his powerful presence although he was over the phone and had no physical contact with you showed you how vulnerable you could be in his presence.

“Ah yes kiara i remember you, i gave you my card since i knew once how it was to be working on those weird marketing projects”

His voice had a magnetic pull, echoing into your ears It was a voice of empathy and softness, yet there was still an underlying intensity to it, as if it was trying to hold back the strength of his power. It was a voice that commanded attention and respect, yet it was also a voice that invited tenderness and compassion.

“yeah… studying marketing is weird.. it’s just that i’m struggling with it you know?”

You felt like there was barbed wires wrapped around your throat as words left your tongue when you made contact with the man who had higher power, held such a confident demeanor over you which is what possibly could’ve attracted you to call him he wasn’t ordinary like everyone else but he carried this mystery about his self and it felt like you had the opportunity to break his skin open and crawl inside his body confronting every secret he was hiding the mysteries or grudges he held against the strangers he would come across the interactions he had with a object or just a human in general made your mind wander with curiousity.

“Im available tomorrow since all my meetings were canceled due to.. god knows what.”

his voice was like thunder sharp and commanding a touch of amusement in it, a glimmer of light that made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. His words held power, but there was a playful note in his voice, as if he were letting you in on a secret that nobody else ever had their ears opened to.

“My companys address is on the back of the card how does three pm work for you?” His deepened voice that sounded like silk against your touch intensified with curiosity that had peaked

“uh… yeah! i can meet that time at three pm tomorrow” You said overlapping the noise of the resturants music so mia could hear you. You couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement as mias eyes widened in surprise and her lips curves into a smile as she patted you on the forearm, her actions bringing back all of your senses as the man’s voice of authority and confidence had blocked out everything from the world and made you feel like there was nothing else in the world except his presence or yours. The thought made your heart race with anticipation. It was a feeling that was both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time

“I’m glad to hear that, tomorrow give me a call when you’re here” It was a voice that demanded attention, and you were powerless to resist.

His voice combined with that sentence sent adrenaline to coarse throughout your veins. slowly coming back to your senses as you take a look at the brunch spot you guys had been at for the past hour and a half the aromas of cooked foods such as eggs, toast, sausages and variety’s of different lunch and breakfast sandwiches.

The not so vibrant interior comforting your skin as you made contact with it slowly turning into a cozy sense of home the home you had back in new york the warmth of the sunlight beaming off of the windows onto your face showing all of your features to your dilated pupils and exposed pores, porcelain skin.

Unfortunately the brunch spot wasn’t in a quiet neighborhood away from the city unlike the other spots you were used to in new york you could hear horns honking the sounds of people chattering and laughing somewhat muffling the conversation you held with mia and the conversation you held not too long ago with the man.. Daemon..

Daemon targaryen

You remembered from his card that he previously handed to you

The brunch spot was perfect for chatting and enjoying the presence of loved ones.

Perhaps even daemon.

if you dared to allow yourself the possibility. But deep down, you knew that was your delusions getting to you. It was best not to set yourself up for disappointment, to keep a clear head and enjoy the moment for what it was nothing more, nothing less. As you sat there, you let out a deep breath, watching the steam rise from your lips and melt into the air around you. For now, you were content to simply relax and let the world pass you by, taking comfort in the knowledge that, in this moment, everything was exactly where it should be.

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hwa-stars · 5 months ago

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Skirt lifter (Chapter 5)

Genre: High-school au, slow burning love, fluff, mention of mature language (+14)

Pairing: non!idol Park Seonghwa x fem!named reader

Summary: In which Park Seonghwa is accused of being a pervert.

Word count: 1.108k

Taglist: @dinossaurz @babigriin @hecateslittlewitchling (if anyone wants to be added to the taglist, please comment)

"So of all the things Hongjoong told me about you, I found out you're a scholar." Seonghwa leaned on the desk while watching me work. "That's surprising I must said."

"I'm most surprised that you'd talk about me."

"Well if a stranger punches your face, the most reasonable action is make some research about them" he helped me with some books. "And sue them." He laughed

"If that's the way you want to wasted your time, it's fine with me."

"Anyway, you told us to contact you if we knew about any job, right?"

"Yes" I said suspicious

"Well, I need a tutor" he sighed "In calculus."

"Really, for who?"

"Me."

"Why?"

"Why else do people hire tutors?" He asked obvious.

"I thought you meant for your sister, brother or anyone."

"I said that I need a tutor" he emphasized the I "So, what do you say?"

"I don't know Seonghwa " I muttered

"Why not? I badly one, considering that exams are next week" He fake cried "Please, please!" He begged me giving me puppy eyes.

"Why don't you ask Hongjoong?" I asked since I know he has good grades too.

"He's tutoring Yeosang and Wooyoung so he couldn't take me in" he explained "Please, I promise no skirt lifting."

"Fine" I give up and he smile "For two hours."

"What?"

"I'll tutoring you for two hours and if you still don't understand I'm done."

"Two hours is not enough!" He wined.

"Take ir or leave it."

I also think that two hours is not enough, but I don't want to be close to him or people to see us and started talking about me like those girls.

"Fine, what's your fee?" He grouned giving up.

"It's fine, you don't need to pay me." I shook my head stacking the last books on the shelf.

"But, it's supposed to be a job" he asked surprised.

"You can't put a price in education, as long as I help you understand, that's fine with me."

"Wow Minseo, you're such a kind soul" he stared at me and make my cheeks burned.

"Thank you so much, what will I ever do without you?" I facked his voice and he laughed.

He took the hood of my hoodie and placed it over my head, I looked up at him still blushing.

"Thank you" He whispered and quickly took the strings of the hoodie and tightened the hood over my face. "Pororo" He end with a smile and patted my head.

And he had to ruin the moment with his stupid nickname.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"You used the wrong formula"

"Yeah, for this problem not for that one." I pointed out the problem.

"But you told me to used it."

"Oh, sorry" he scratched his hair shyly.

"It's fine, you can started over"

After I finished my work at the library, Seonghwa and I agreed to take one hour of tutoring today and the other hour tomorrow. However, the hour had passed and we were getting nowhere because he kept mixing the formulas and I tried to explained him.

"I'm surprised you are not yelling at me" Seonghwa comments after he finished the problem.

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know I'd figure out you'll be yelling me or giving up trying to tutoring me." He continued his worksheet.

"Oh, I've handled dumbest kids before. You are not the worst that I had." I joked

"That's encouraging" He answers sarcastically.

"I'm kidding, I think I can't be in any position to get mad since everyone has different learning capacities."

Seonghwa continued working in his worksheet as I grabbed a book to study for my history exam.

"That's true."

"I'm gonna grab a drink form the vending machine, want anything?" Seonghwa asked.

"Oh yes, one chocolate bar please" I mentioned reaching for coins in my bag.

"It's my treat" He answered before taking his wallet and walking away.

Although I didn't want to be in debt with Seonghwa even if it's a chocolate bar, I whipped the table and look at my phone when suddenly a phone vibrate and it was Seonghwa's. I didn't want to invade his privacy, but the vibration of notifications were a lot.

There were a lot of 'where the fuck are you?😡' and 'everyone's here dude' messages, I saw Seonghwa walking back and he handed me my chocolate and I thank him.

"By the way, your phone was vibrating nonstop it seem urgent." I point his phone and he nodded.

He took his phone and read his messages, for the messages I expect him to leave soon so I started packing my things while he answered the messages.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"What are you doing?" He asked sitting down.

"No" he shook his head. "Quit with the chatting, we have work to do Pororo" He take his pencil again and started answering the worksheet.

It's weird, I'd have guessed that would leave at the moment because it seems like people were waiting for him.

"You want a picture of me?" He asked without looking up.

"What?"

"Well, you have been staring at me for a while." He poke my cheek with his pencil. "So take a picture of me, it will last longer." I blushed but look away. "Awww, you're blushed."

"No it's hot."

"Who? Me?" He smirked

"The weather dumbass."

"We're in an air-conditioned room Minseo."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I started to get boring so I started to draw an ice cream on my notebook, we've been here for two and a half hours. I'm surprised how distracted Seonghwa can be, he started asking me personal questions and making unnecessary comments riled up in him forgetting the task he had to do.

"You want to get ice cream?" Seonghwa asked looking at my draw.

"Yes, I want some."

"Then, let’s get some" he put his pencil back at the table.

"Forget it" I rolled my eyes.

"Why? You said you want ice cream."

"No, after you finished the problems you left." I point out the paper.

"Really?" He asked and his eyes sparkled, I haven't seen his eyes like that before but I nodded.

"Deal" he took his pencil and started working.

I almost hung out my mouth when 10 minutes later, Seonghwa had already finished the last problems.

"Well, let's go" He stretched out his arms.

I started checking his worksheet, looking for a minimal mistake but there wasn't any!

"How did you?" I asked confuse, a few minutes ago he was mixing the formulas and now he answered rigth.

"What can I say?" Ice cream is a great motivation." He smiled at me. "Let's get that ice cream, Pororo."

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #park seonghwa #seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa x reader

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drysdaleknieslee · 10 months ago

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Will Smith x MC Isabella

This is just the intro to something beautiful and amazing.

Bell met Will through Gabe. She never noticed him before, and neither did he to her. She was just Isabella to everyone else, but only the most important people to her got to call her Bell. Gabe has known her and her family since they were little. She and her family moved to America when she was six, and Gabe was the only guy willing to talk to the new kid. He stuck up for her when kids would make fun of her accent or the traditional Filipino food her mom would make for her. The platonic fondness was mutual and her family was happy that she made a friend that accepted her for who she was.

Now Gabe had tried to get Bell to attend a BC game since they arrive there. He pushed her to apply so they could go to the same school (didn't take much convincing when he told her they had a good dance program and there was a little cafe near the school she could work at) and since he got the schedule for the mens hockey team he's been pushing for her to go.

"Come on Bells you've never seen me play before" Perreault would whine.

"I literally watched you play in high school" she quipped putting on her ballet shoes.

"That was high school hockey. This is COLLEGE hockey. Two different things" he said pointedly.

His whining got the best of her, and here she sits in Conte Forum, waiting for the game to start with her BC attire on. Since she started working at the cafe a few blocks from the school, she made a deal with Gabe to bring him a scone for the good seats. Of course, he obliged.

They were still practicing when she first arrived and she waited by the locker room with two warm strawberry scones waiting for him.

"HEY ISABELLA!" yelled Gabe from the other end of the hallway. He was accompanied by two other tall guys, his teammates when he saw her. He knew to call her Isabella when other people were present.

"Keep your voice down! I brought the stuff, now where are my tickets?" She asked scoping the surrounding area.

"What is this, an illegal drop-off?" asked one of the guys. The other just stood quietly, staring at Bell. Not in a creep way but a longing sort of way. His gaze then focused on the scones in her hand.

"Nah, she brings me food from that cafe near the forum. Genuine I think it's called."

I hand the scones over to Gabe and just stare awkwardly as he takes a bite and makes that satisfied sigh he always does when he eats one. The other two boys eye him, annoyed, as they want some too.

"Nope, these are mine," he couldn't get the words out before all three start fighting over the two scones.

"ALEX GIVE ME MY DAMN SCONES!"

"LEARN TO SHARE YOU PIG!"

In the end, Gabe got one and 'Alex' got the other, leaving the blonde boy looking sad. "I'll bring you one tomorrow. None for those two." she says pointing at the two boys stuffing their face.

Leaning close, she whispers, "I'll sneak you some if you want so that you don't have to fight over one." He stiffened up when Bell got closer to him. She noticed this and was glad that he didn't move away. She also saw a red tint on the tips of his earlobes. "You don't have to do that" he muttered.

"Please. I owe it to you since I'm friends with those dummies too. I don't even know your name either. I maybe can get you a discount in the cafe."

"His names Will. Will Smith. Nowhere near as cool as the actor though" muttered Alex with a mouth full of scone.

"Well, Will, good luck at your practice, and I promise next time I see you, you will have any dessert or drink from the store. Scouts honor," says Bell, making a cross over her heart.

When she turned to walk out she didn't know the conversation that these three boys would have later in the locker room to suit up for practice.

"Hey, Isabella, your friend," said Will to Gabe sitting to his left, "the cafe, do you know her usual hours?"

"She's part time on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Times vary around her classes and dance practice-."

"When are her dance practices?"

Gabe starts to catch on to his friends questions and can't help the wolfish smile growing on his face. "You like her don't you?"

"No, she just seems cool and I want to get to know her better."

"Sure, man, sure. Just ask her next time you see her," says Gabe before walking out of the locker room to head to the ice. Will couldn't stop thinking about Bell and what he could've said to her. He could've asked her about her schedule or even her socials. Gabe's gonna be too much of an ass to tell him, so he'll have to muster up the courage next time. For now, he'll have to think about her smelling of coffee grounds and caramel and hope he doesn't bust his ass on the ice.

#will smith hockey #boston college #nhl imagine

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warmaidensrevenge · 1 year ago

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Love and pinball.

Pairings: Eddie x Chrissy x plus!size Fem reader

A/N: Why hello there. I know I've been MIA. But I'm back with a new fic..this part is a little short. But don't worry it's going to get longer as I go. Also, I hope you enjoy the new collage I made. I feel like a little kid learning how to use paint. So hopefully I can make kick ass ones when I get better at it. Anywho, thanks for reading. And as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Feel free to comment on your thoughts. Kay love you byyye.

Word count: 4,037

I do not give permission for anyone to post this anywhere else. Please respect all creators.

Warnings: 18+ no minors. Angst, slow burn, sexual implications, open relationship, language and not proof read.

Part 1: Who are you?

Summary: Eddie never wanted anyone more than Chrissy. But that just might change.

" What about her?" Chrissy nodded her head towards a girl at the snack bar.

Eddie didn't have to look at her to know he didn't want her. He didn't want anyone but Chrissy. Since middle school he had been in love with her. So when he finally got his chance in highschool to be with her. He made a promise to himself to keep her forever. And up until a year ago things were looking really good. Now in their mid 20s, things became a little boring. Well for Chrissy that was the case. She had asked him if they could open up the relationship. Of course at first he said no. But he eventually gave in. He loved her deeply and wanted her to be happy. So he allowed her to do it. The rules were, he didn't want them over at their apartment and he didn't want to know about the sex. Just that they used protection and got an STD screen every 3 months. Now it was a year later and he was unhappy. He had been since she asked. But it got worse. Especially now. Chrissy had forced him to go to The Palace to find himself a girl.

There were a bunch of young ladies that work at The Palace. So she thought he might be interested. Since he spent every Sunday night here when she went out on a date. Little did she know, he didn't go there on Sunday's to check out the talent. He went there because he needed a distraction from what Chrissy was doing. That distraction being pinball. Before he loved it. He would take Chrissy out and she would cheer him on while he played. Now, not only did he go to not be alone. But he went because he had a very competitive nature. And some little dweeb kept beating his high score on the old Grand Prix pinball machine. The game was way in the back and no one ever played it. Well until a few months ago. Eddie seemed to find himself in a battle of wits with some kid. He assumed it was since the notes and the 1 quarter left behind were meant to mock him.

He never left any responses except for one quarter in the return slot. He thought that beating the kids' high score with exactly 1,000 points every time was enough to get the point across.

Officially annoyed with Chrissy asking 'How about that one?' For the 6th time, he said he was gonna go and see if the kid had beat his score. There were so many people today. That's why he never came on Friday's or Saturday's. It was always a Sunday night thing when he came. Not that he didn't like kids. He still hung out with his buddies from highschool. Still played D&D, and still had shows at The Hideout. It's just now, all those things became hobbies. And now he had a job. He always liked working with his hands. So a job as a mechanic was perfect. He had the weekends off and that's when he had time to do the things he loved. However this week he got lucky to have a 3 day weekend. In which Chrissy thought he would want to spend it finding a girl he could start screwing. When all he wanted was to spend the long weekend with her.

As he made his way through the sea of teens, he finally got close enough to see someone playing the very machine he was heading for. He got closer and was a bit taken back by you. The way you were dressed was a sight. Faded denim short shorts with a staff shirt that was tied in the back. Along with a pair of red chucks.

See if Eddie were to explain your outfit to anyone, they would think that there was nothing wrong with it. And there wasn't. It wasn't the clothes that made his eyes wonder and his pants tighten. It was your curves that had him in aww. From your large calves to your luscious thighs that touched, your perfectly wide hips and up to your hair in two very cute buns. From the back you looked great.

Eddie got a bit closer to try and see your face. But he didn't want to seem like a creep.

" Hey… Almost done." You said.

He looked around to see who you were talking to.

You chuckled. " Hey, curly McGee. If you're waiting for this. I'll be done in just a sec. I have to beat this twerps score."

Eddie smiled. How could he not? He had been completely wrong about you. He thought his arch nemesis was some little kid.

He finally saw your face and he couldn't help but laugh. Your brows were knitted together and your tongue was hanging out on the side. You were in the zone.

" YES!!! SUCK IT YOU PUNK!" You jumped up, pointing your fingers at the game.

Eddie took a step back to admire your little victory dance. Big beautiful breast bouncing, with a very stunning smile while doing the cabbage patch.

" Alright bud." You sighed after. " She's all yours."

" Uhhh cool." He said.

He then watched you pull out a piece of paper and jotted something down. Then placed a quarter in the middle and folded it. Putting it in the same spot as always. Just under the score.

You didn't look at him once. You just smiled at the game and left.

He reached for the note and rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face.

' Good luck loser.'

…

The next time he saw you was at the lake. Robin, who he now knew was your cousin, had invited him out. It was supposed to be fun. But Chrissy had a date. So he thought he would just have a beer and leave. That was until he saw you. You were in the water on a tube just laying there with sunglasses on and a pretty red bathing suit. Floating around with Robin.

Eddie said hi to everyone. Seems like all his friends were there. The only person who stood out was you.

He wondered what you were doing there. And how long have his friends been talking to you? He put down the foam ice chest he brought full of beer when you came out of the water and started walking towards him with Robin.

" Eddie. This is my cousin y/n. Y/n this is Eddie Munson."

Your smile was beautiful. Your sun kissed skin glowed. The way your bathing suit fitted you so tight, could have any guy on their knees for you. That being the case for him right now.

Robin playful pushed him. "Munson?"

Eddie blinked his thoughts away and shook his head a little.

" S-sorry Ed-eddie…Hi. " He said nervously. " I'm Eddie. Eddie Munson."

Your smile got even bigger and he swore his heart stopped.

"I'm sorry... Eddie is it?" You joked.

He chuckled and scratched the back of his head.

You turned your gaze behind him. "Hey Steven. Are you ready to get your ass kicked in volleyball?" You teased walking past him.

Eddie's eyes followed you. Figures a gorgeous girl like you wouldn't remember him.

" It uhh was nice to officially meet you curls." You spoke over your shoulder.

"L-l-likewise." He stuttered

He smirked to himself. Again you proved him wrong.

Robin pulled at his sleeve to get his attention. " Munson, I need to talk to you."

He turned to look at her. " Hey to you too. Nice weather we're havin'."

She shook her head. " Hi Eddie. Common. Follow me."

He agreed and followed her under a tree.

She hung her head and cleared her throat." So Chrissy called me."

He jerked his head back a little. " What? Why?"

Robin sighed and looked over in your direction. " Apparently, she saw you gawking at my cousin a couple weeks ago."

He looked over and saw you playfully pushed Gareth who was obviously trying to flirt. Why all of a sudden he was jealous. He didn't know. But he didn't like feeling this way for anyone but Chrissy.

"I wasn't gawking Buckley." He turned to meet her gaze. " I was surprised, because she has been the one who's been playing the Grand Prix. I just thought it was some little kid."

Robin rolled her eyes. " Well whatever you did, got Chrissy to call me and ask to find out who she was." She nodded towards you.

" Why?"

She sighed again. " She wants me to make sure you get on more than the first name bases, if you know what I mean."

Eddie swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. He looked back at you and you waved at him. He smiled and waved back. Should he? Could he? He went almost 5 years without wanting to be with anyone but Chrissy. But for some odd reason, this time felt different. Maybe because now he was allowed to.

"Honestly Eddie, I don't like it."

He looked back at Robin.

" I get that you and Chrissy are in this weird relationship type thing. I'm not judging. But y/n is family. I know that we weren't close growing up and I just found out that we were related like a month ago. Now that I know, I want all of us to get to know her and spend time together… I'm not going to try and push you two together."

Eddie nodded. He didn't want that either. He didn't know exactly what he wanted. He just knew that even though he only got a max of 5 whole seconds with you, he wanted more. Though Chrissy came to mind. She always did. He knew that not only would this make her happy, but he had a gut feeling that you would be a great addition to the friend group.

" Look Buckley. I really don't want a relationship with anyone besides Chrissy. A friend, I can be. But I think that's all I can be."

Robin smiled at him. " Great! That's all I can ask for."

Eddie grinned and nodded. He really did mean that. However, things were going to happen that he couldn't control.

He walked over and sat on the grass near the unofficial volleyball ball court. He smiled listening to you talk smack to the other team.

" Oh I'm sorry. Was that a point?" You tease Steve.

" You touched the net!" He retorted.

You smirked." You wish Steven. Just admit it. You suck."

" Oh please. You wish you were as good as me." Steve bit back.

" By good you mean, a guy with tiny wrists like yours that can't jump. Then I'm okay."

Steve pointed at you. " Hey! You take that back before I come over there."

You stuck out your tongue. " Sorry. Sucks to suck Steven."

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. You're feisty.

After the game a new one started up. You came over to him and held out a beer, while sitting down.

" You look like a blue ribbon type of guy."

Eddie nodded. " How could you tell?"

He took the beer and sucked on the fizz when he opened it.

You shrugged. " I don't actually know. Just a feeling I guess."

It was awkwardly quiet after you said that. For the first time in a long time he was actually nervous. He wanted to say something but nothing sounded good. Then he thought.

Volleyball. Ask about volleyball.

He cleared his throat by taking a drink of the ice cold beer. Giving him a little bit more time.

" It's getting pretty hot." You said shielding your eyes..

" Y-yeah it is."

" Want to cool off in the water?"

He looked at you and smiled. " Sure."

You clapped your hands and got up. " Common bud. Last one there is a burnt chicken nugget."

Eddie furrowed his brow and did a small laugh through his nose. " It's a rotten egg."

You turned around walking backwards. " I like mine better."

He grinned and got up. Following you to the lake. He stopped and took off his shoes and pulled off his shirt.

" AHHH MY EYES!" You teased. Holding up your hands towards him and looking away.

" Uhhh what?"

You laughed. " You need a tan curls."

" Today's the day for skin cancer I guess." He responded.

" Well no. We can't have that." You said coming out of the water.

Eddie watched you head to a bag under a tree. When you came back you had a bottle.

You handed him the sun screen. " Spf 75. Anything above 40 is good for ink."

" Didn't know that… Thanks."

You smiled at him. Making his palms sweat.

" Do you want help with your back?"

Umm I have a girlfriend." He blurted.

You jerked your head back a little and Eddie was too embarrassed to look at you.

Stupid stupid. Why the hell-

Your sudden laughter confused him.

" Uhh okayyyy…good for you bud. I wasn't hitting on you or anything like that. Just offering help."

He nervously laughed. " Erm…sorry I-"

" Nope." You held up your hand. " No offense. But you're not my type. And I'm sure if you didn't have a girlfriend. I wouldn't be your type either."

" Well you would be wrong."

You lifted a brow.

He gave you a thin lip smile. " I don't have a type."

You nodded. " I see. Well I apologize for assuming."

It was quiet again. Eddie didn't know what to say or do. He wished he hadn't said that. And now he was trying to figure out why he wasn't your type.

" So uhh do you want my help? With your back?"

" Y-yeah. I don't want to turn into a burnt chicken nugget."

You laughed. " I don't think anyone wants that."

He poured some of the cream on his hands and gave you the bottle. He braced himself for you to squirt cold lotion on. But he was wrong again. He felt your warm soft touch on his shoulders. You kept surprising him. Once you were done you gave him a slight push.

" Common curls."

He nodded. And before he got in two of his friends ran past him. Steve and Gareth grabbed you by your arms and legs. Both flinging you into the water. Before you went under you yelped. When you came back up you ran your hand over your face. Taking off your sunglasses.

" Oh you little shits!" You said through your teeth. Eddie came out to check if you were okay. You shook your head to the side to drain the water from your ear.

" You good?" He asked.

" Yeah bud. Ummm could you give me a hand?" You nudged your head towards the chuckling Steve and Gareth.

" With pleasure sweetheart."

You beamed a smile at him. " On the count of 3."

He nodded and you started to count. But when you got to 3. Instead of saying 3 you said 5. Catching him off guard. He gave you a confused look but you just laughed and lunged at Gareth. Eddie shook his head and went for Steve.

After a while Eddie found himself on a donut tied to yours. Just floating around. The sun was going down and he could hear his buddies playing around with fireworks. Normally he would be right next to them. Lighting a few, if not all of them. But being around you felt different. It was exciting and fun. You said and did things that had him on his toes. But as the sun set you seemed to be getting tired. You were less rambunctious and more calm. He was too.

" Why didn't your girlfriend come?"

He opened his eyes and looked over to you. " Umm. She uhh had to work."

You gave him a half smile. " That's a shame. I would have liked to have met her."

" I'm sure you will…that is if you plan on hanging out with us more."

You sighed and smiled at him." I look forward to it."

…

A few weeks after the day at the lake, Eddie was supposed to have a date night with Chrissy. However, she had to cancel due to work stuff. So bummed and bored he called up Gareth and asked if he wanted to go to The Hideout.

When they walked in and it was busier than usual. They found a couple of empty stools and hurried to grab them.

" What can I get you?"

Eddie looked up as you placed napkins in front of them.

" Hey! What are you doing here?"

You grinned at Gareth. " I work here sometimes. When it's busy like this." You looked over to him. " Hey bud."

Eddie smiled. " Hey sweetheart…can I get uh-"

You turned around and pulled out a beer for him. " Blue ribbon." You said with another beautiful smile.

He chuckled. " Yeah. Thanks."

You looked over to Gareth. " Let me guess." You narrowed your eyes for a second and grinned. " Apple wine cooler."

Gareth's eyes widened. " WHAT?! NO! Give me a blue ribbon too."

You leaned in so that only they could hear you. " I'll put that wine cooler in a glass. It will look like beer."

Gareth was embarrassed but he whispered a small thanks.

Eddie nearly spit out his beer. He turned to laugh.

Gareth punched his arm. " Shut up man!"

" Sorry man. That's just hilarious."

" Well I think that the man has taste." You winked at Gareth. Leaning over just a bit over the counter. " Honestly, beer and hard liquor are gross. Fruity drinks are the way to go."

You leaned back and rang them up. When you left to help other customers, Eddie couldn't help checking you out. You had on knee high boots with a tight leather skirt. It hugged your round ass so perfectly that he nearly drooled. And the pink halter top only added to your sexiness.

" She's something huh?" Gareth asked.

Eddie's tongue shot out and moistened his lips." I uhhh…yeah."

" She's single you know."

Eddie looked at his best friend. Giving him a thin lip. " I'm not."

Gareth sighed. " Maybe it's time you should be."

Eddie looked back at you laughing away. His heart leaped. "Maybe."

…

Later that night. You were trying to turn on your car. But it would work. Eddie stayed for a while after Gareth went with some girl. He wanted to make sure some drunk asshole wouldn't bother you.

He went outside when he didn't see you behind the bar after using the restroom. When he walked around the corner of the building he saw you lifting your hood.

" Hey."

You looked over your shoulder. " Oh hey. I thought you left."

" Was just about to. Uhh do you need help?"

You looked back down at the car. " I need a jump. I think I accidentally left my lights on."

" I have cables in my van. Let me pull it around."

You nodded and he went.

When he came back you were leaning against the car with your ankles crossed and holding yourself. Before he could actually think, he grabbed a blanket from the back and jumped out.

" Here. Don't want you to freeze sweetheart."

You thanked him and wrapped yourself up like a burrito. He smirked seeing how cute you looked. He went to grab the cables and started to hook them up.

" Try turning it on, yeah?"

You nodded and went. But it didn't want to start.

" That doesn't sound like your battery's dead. It sounds like your starter went out."

Your brows knitted together. "Oh…umm. Sorry. I didn't know. I thought I was forgetful again."

Eddie walked to the driver side and bent down so he could see you. " Don't be sorry. But umm all the body shops are closed right now. You could get it towed to one."

You looked away and looked like you were about to cry. " Umm yeah…okay"

The way you said it made him feel sad.

" Or."

You looked at him again. " Or?"

" Or I can go to the shop I work at and get a truck. Then I can work on it tonight."

He saw you blink away your tears.

" Um no you don't have to do that. I-I can wait."

" Hey." He said, grabbing your hand. "Let me help you."

A few seconds passed before you agreed.

…

You were sitting on his swivel chair. All wrapped up, watching him work. He could feel your eyes on him. And he liked it. Every once in a while he would look up and catch you just before you looked away. Every time he smirked to himself.

" S-so. Curly one. How long have you worked here?"

He grunted trying to get a bolt loose. " About 4 years."

" Nice. Do you like it?"

He quickly glanced at you and you were rocking back and forth with a little smile.

" Yeah. It keeps me calm."

" That's good."

He smiled at you and stood up straight to stretch his back.

" So uhh what do you do other than work at The Palace and The Hideout sometimes?"

" Oh just a little bit of this and a little bit of that."

He turned his head a little and side eyed you.

You giggled. " Okay. So during the day I work at a daycare. And nights or weekends I do side jobs. Like bartending or emptying out coin slots. You know. Real challenging stuff."

He laughed. " I can see how one would find that difficult."

You laughed and he felt a warmth in his chest that he hasn't felt in a long time. He bent over again trying to get access to what he was working on.

" How do you like working with kids?"

You got up and leaned next to him. " I love it. I have so much fun with them. And they're just so cute with their chubby cheeks and tiny shoes."

Seeing you so happy about your job made him feel excited for you. He was happy that you were happy.

" Do you plan on having kids?" He asked.

You sighed happily. " Oh I hope so. I want 5."

" 5? Really?"

You leaned over and caught his eye. " Oh definitely. Have to keep it an even number."

He chuckled at your joke.

" What about you?"

He stood up straight and wiped his brow with his shirt. " Uhh yeah. But I want 7."

" SEVEN!? Jesus!"

" What? Too much?"

You giggled. " Nah. That's a good amount. The bigger the family the more spare parts."

Eddie shook his head and laughed. " You're something else, you know that?"

" Thanks. I try."

You both stared at each other for a second. He wanted to move closer to you. He wanted to know how soft your lips were. How your tongue would taste like.

" So ummm." You broke eye contact first. " How does your girlfriend feel about 7 little ones?"

Shit Chrissy.

" Uhh we uhh haven't talked about that yet."

" O-oh. Sorry. I-"

" It's just uhhh. She's busy. And we hardly see each other."

You were quiet and Eddie could feel the tension building. He had a thought. Maybe if he told you the situation, could you be interested? Or would you turn and run away? A part of him wanted someone to talk to about this problem. But another part of him just wanted to keep quiet and wait until Chrissy finally gave it up. At the same time he didn't know if he could ever get back the relationship he had before. Did he still want to? Or was it time to move on? Maybe with you?

He went back to work while you went to sit back down. He didn't mean to make you feel awkward. But he did. And now you were quiet. He wanted to know what you were thinking.

" So uhh when do you see her?"

He didn't look at you this time. He kept his eyes on what was in front of him. " Well Saturday's normally. But she had to work."

" Oh... Well you'll see her in the morning. Make sure to give her extra kisses. And tell her you missed her."

That comment made him smile. He looked at you and you seemed genuinely sincere.

" Will do sweetheart."

" Good. Now will you hurry up. I'm freezing here."

He chuckled. " Yes ma'am."

…

#Eddie Munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #stranger things #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson #fanfic #plus size reader #New girl in Hawkins

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malboraslihan · 2 years ago

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serendipity. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

mobile vers.

trigger warnings and disclaimer: the verse will mostly surround the death of a close friend as well as many triggering themes such as depression, illness and such. please beware of that before applying/reading the plot.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓

july 2016 marks the graduation of claudia madeira and her friends. the group of teenagers was known around the small town of harbor springs for their constant loud celebrations, rebellious ideas and even more, for having dreams that became too big for the city limits. it was a known fact, by their parents and anyone who could hear them daydreaming at the coffee shop, that they would leave town eventually. or at the very least, they would try to. so when the time came, the night after graduation, they followed their own paths and promised to never forget the memories they created in that small magical town from connecticut.

seven years later, things haven’t been good, for anyone. those who left, somehow ended up sucked back into town; by a relative who became ill, after losing their perfect job one day, after a break up completely broke them down.. the reasons are endless. and, of course, there are always those who never managed to escape, whose dreams were tucked into under their bed and plans stayed as just that, plans.

mrs. dolevan said it best, the town shifted the day the last one of them stepped foot into town. something was in the air, things weren’t working as well as they once did anymore. the town had grown old, there was no big group of teenagers running around and celebrating the life they were about to have. most kids had ended up finishing high school in the neighboring town, which made their parents move down there eventually. harbor springs was now a ghost town. with only the memories and echoes, family they left behind and childhood rooms that still held pictures of people they haven’t seen in years.

and claudia, of course. holding the promise she made to never leave harbor springs, and hiding the truth of her autoimmune disease from her best friends as they toasted to the last night together. she held the fort and kept their memory alive. and then, she saw each and every single one of them crawl back into town.

the doctors said it was bound to happen any day, the gossipers said she couldn’t handle another day of living with the fact they had all failed.

summary: a skeleton discord group verse based on the life of teenagers that were born in a very small town called harbor springs and grew up close experiencing traumatic things together but promised to get out of town (or at least try) once they graduated high school. seven years later, they’re all back to town for different reasons and one week after the last one of them arrives, claudia madeira, class president and their valedictorian, passes away from unknown reasons, causing them all to sit in a room together for her funeral. check out the pinterest board.

𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

1. your usual rp etiquette: no god modding, try to interact and plot with everyone. please, no ooc drama and if there’s any issues contact me or leesh privately so we can handle it directly.

2. muns and fcs must be over 21, the age range for muses is 25-27. no problematic fcs, the usual banned: no dead fcs, minors, people who have stated before they don’t want to be used in rps, all that jazz. i also reserve the right to deny any fc that makes me or anyone else uncomfortable.

3. please don’t join if you’re not planning on being active. i understand school, college, work and all that can get in the way and that this is only a hobby but in order for a group to work people must be present at least once or twice in the day or a few hours a week.

4. this won’t be first come first serve, each mun can apply for ONE MUSE. i know there’s no way i can know for sure so this is basically based on trust and a suggestion but i’d love if we could bring new/undeveloped muses to the verse. the plot is heavy on development and in character building to i feel muses that haven’t been completely fleshed yet would benefit more from this setting.

𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐒

the allegiant. the black sheep. considered the disgrace of a family or group. the insurgent. rebels, stirs up conflict, goes against the norms. the facade. someone who hides behind a mask. the connard. the fallen angel. someone who fell from a high point in their life. the lothario. / the vixen. the luminary. the leader the icarian. spontaneous and adventurous; a free spirit. the pristine. pure, innocent, unspoiled, uncorrupted.

(you can find inspo posts for each label on the pinterest board.)

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

if they left town: ( faceclaim, age, gender, pronouns ) can you honestly believe FIRST LAST NAME is back in town? they’re probably around AGE IN LETTERS now and i think they became a OCCUPATION. god, it was only a few years ago they were screaming about how they would PLANS ONCE THEY LEFT TOWN, right? i don’t know what changed but i heard some rumors that REASON THEY CAME BACK. either way, we should all be glad we got our local LABEL back on our streets, who knows what they’ll do next. ( alias, url, tmz, age )

if they stayed in town: ( faceclaim, age, gender, pronouns ) can you honestly believe FIRST LAST NAME never left town? they’re probably around AGE IN LETTERS now and i think they became a OCCUPATION. god, it was only a few years ago they were screaming about how they would PLANS ONCE THEY LEFT TOWN, right? i don’t know what changed but i heard some rumors that REASON WHY THEY DIDN’T LEAVE. either way, we should all be glad we got our local LABEL on our streets, who knows what they’ll do next. ( alias, url, tmz, age )

the app can be sent through my submit and while it’s not mandatory, i’d love if you could attach a pinterest board or a small paragraph about your muse or how they relate to their label. nothing fancy, no need to write a full on bio, just a bit more info if possible!

𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍

the allegiant: omar apollo (barbie) the black sheep: steph mandich (adri) the insurgent: nico haraga (amanda) the facade: rish shah (jana) the connard: sophie thatcher (ron) the fallen angel: teresa seco (lina) the vixen: jamilla strand (leesh) the luminary: drew starkey (bee) the icarian: ange jose (marie) the pristine: sabrina carpenter (ivy)

+ camila morrone (kate) and michael cimino (dj)

#tw death #okay friends it's happening <3 #honestly let me known if you have any questions but #my idea is just a very chill group focusing on development and world building #lots of plotting and creating our muse's backstories together..#okay i'm hyped i'll start rambling #discord rp

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itzsana-kiddingmenow · 7 months ago

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Hi Sana. I just wanted to vent a little because im really stressed about the upcoming exam i have. So basically there is an exam called high school entrance exam and it’s really important. If i don’t get a good score my life is over. I cant go to good schools if i get a low score. And the thing that stresses me the most is it’s in about a month. It’s on 2nd of june. Im not ready. Im really stress i don’t get good sleep because i stay up all night studying but still my grades aren’t good enough i go in to exams 3 times a week to practice for the real one. I go to school 7 days of the week so i don’t have something called a week from 7 to 16:15 and i have private lessons 4 days of the week after school. And i still don’t get good scores. I need to go to a good school so i can study abroad in university. I don’t know whats wrong with me and because of the stress i’ve been eating a lot and i gained weight i hate my body now and on top of that i have an skin condition and when im stressed it gets worse it gets so bad that i cant even walk because my legs cant support my body so thats also a plus. How lovely. I think about my life a lot. And why i was born. Wished i was never born to go through with this life. It’s not different from living in hell. And im just a kid. I haven’t experienced the real world yet. Im so tired. I don’t even know why im telling you this. I just needed to let it all out. I feel a little better now. Im sorry for venting it’s might be disturbing for you. Im sorry

I hope you’re doing better than me. Love you 🩷

awe bubbie…i’m so sorry about the exams, i wish i could help you with the exams but i can’t really do that considering i’m already in high school and i don’t know your curriculum 💔

that seems like way too much work on a kid’s back to go through on a daily basis. you don’t even have a weekend? that seems very overwhelming.

i’m so sorry you have to go through that but i promise you if you study hard you’ll get through it. as a person who used to get all d’s and improved this year, i can tell you it is possible.

please take care of yourself, i know im being hypocritical but please don’t worry about gaining weight. i used to care so much about that but a specific friend of mine eased my out of not too long ago.

i’m sorry about your skin condition, i don’t know how to help but perhaps you can get a parent or a doctor to help out in some way that’s different or how you normally handle it?

it feels so much better knowing someone cares about you no matter how you look. i’ll be that person for you, i’ll love you and i’ll care about you no matter what, okay? 💕

i feel like you should really take care of yourself for one day, because that seems like wayyy too much stress to deal with at once and alone. 💔

take one day to take care of yourself. it might seem hard but you’ll come out of it stronger and ready to work hard. if venting to me makes you feel better then by all means come and chat with me everyday if you need. i’m rooting for you, don’t worry 💖

#💗📫

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twilightknight17 · 9 months ago

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Last night on P3R: mostly Tartarus, HOW DARE YOU?, and once again a lack of aggressive dialogue options.

I got my shit wrecked in Tartarus, between multiple gatekeepers in a row, and the Monad passage Elizabeth wanted me to explore. The shadow tactics are getting better, and it’s fun having to work around them.

Throwing a Cowardly Maya at me that immediately starts off with Concentrate+Megidolaon is a little much, though.

I got through eventually, though, and got some great rewards!

Hehehe

HEHEHEHEHE

(I’m sorry, I think these outfits are great. XDDDD)

...I’m sorry, what is the CATHEDRAL OF TIME? Can I have a slightly bigger fragment??? Please??? Oh man.

Anyway, summer break is kind of off to a disappointing start, because like… it’s been 2 weeks, and I haven’t gotten to work on any of my links or anything. Yakushima was great, but now I’m at extra track training for this competition that’s coming up.

I mean I guess I’d be happier if there was something more to it than just showing the same scene of us running laps every day for six days or whatever. Or if there was a choice whether to attend or not. But no, I’m just locked into advancing none of my social links except Tanaka.

Every time I talk to this man I want to push him in the fountain. Also, he keeps asking if I remember my promise and haven’t told anyone. Sir, tbh, I don’t even remember what you don’t want me to tell people.

The Dark Hour has begun, and I’m happy to see Pharos again, because obviously, I love hi-- oh. Wait, no, this is Fuuka, calling me to the command room. Never a good sign.

SEES throws on their uniforms and sprints upstairs, and we’ve got a problem!

Hm. A normal shadow? Akihiko’s probably got it, but yeah, weird that this one left Tartarus…

And then Akihiko calls, and we’re off, because the shadow is defeated, Akihiko is fine, but someone is very badly hurt.

HOW DARE YOU HURT KOROMARU?

I knew he was coming to our dorm eventually but I didn’t realize it was because he was hurt that badly!! Literally everyone is upset about this turn of events, Aigis can speak Dog, and we’re using Mitsuru’s influence in the best way possible.

(We couldn’t even cast dia to stabilize him, though??)

The next evening, Mitsuru informs everyone that Koromaru is gonna pull through just fine, and Pharos stops by to give his weekly warning.

Guys, I have a track meet the day after tomorrow, please stop waking me up at midnight. T_T

………no.

You shouldn’t even be drinking coffee, you’re like 10.

So now I’m off to my track meet, and did really good! I kind of wish it had been a longer scene, or a minigame, or something? I dunno. But the wunderkind runner from the other school came to talk to me after, and wants to be friends?

I guess? Is this a new social link? Hm. I guess we’ll see, since I’m free again, but first I’m gonna go rank-up with Maiko.

Maiko is ready to run away from home. She tells me goodbye and not to tell her parents where she went, and then heads off. And after a blip of a time jump, here come her parents! They have no idea why she would have done this! She’s never acted like this before!

Man I really wanted to pick that second one.

And the dad recognizes me. Apparently she’s mentioned that she plays with “Arisato-kun”, a high-schooler, at the playground. Maiko’s mom is appalled, because she didn’t know anything about that. I’m not surprised; do you ask anything about your daughter’s day?

They literally start bickering to the point where it isn’t dialogue boxes, it’s just audio, like background noise. But eventually the dad remembers I’m there and cuts off the mom.

Sir, you’re the ones arguing instead of looking for your kid. You’re lucky I even want to help, after what you did to her!

They ask if I have any ideas where she might be, and I suggest the takoyaki stand. We all go running off, and Maiko is in fact there. She starts crying almost immediately, and is finally able to tell them why she’s so upset.

And her parents actually apologize! They promise to go home and actually talk to her! I’m skeptical because, again, he HIT her, but I’m gonna have to give them the benefit of the doubt, I guess. :/

Two more people have gone missing in Tartarus, and the full moon is in two days, so we’re gonna have to go in and get them. So that’s up next!

#Li plays P3Re

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armyhome · 1 year ago

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(Un) Perfects | Beomgyu

⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.

⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.

⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.

Chapter 1: Attention.

Far from the downtown of San Seul, in the small neighborhood called Madeline, two little girls meet each other at preschool in the year 2002, one was called Ariel like Little Mermaid and because of that all the little girls decided that they would use princess names as nicknames, but the other girl didn't look like any princess at that time.

"You look just like Lilo…" Ariel says to her "From Lilo and Stitch, they have nicknames, but you get the face"

"But she is not a princess…" Lilo says almost crying, what else could a five-year-old girl do? "Wouldn't it be as much cool…" So something, better saying someone moves inside the sandbox.

"What you're talking about?" The boy with a cute accent emerges from the sand "Lilo is friends with an alien.." The sandboy makes Stich's noises "So much cooler than the others... By the way, my name is Hueningkai''

And for that day for the rest of their lives, no one on this earth would be capable of separating that trio, unless until high school.

2012

"Lilo, are you saying that you are not even considering falling in love?" Hueningkai asks while she was helping Ariel with a new haircut, bangs were difficult to do alone.

"Didn't you see how my mom was when my dad died? She almost made me an orphan! I don't wanna love if it's gonna hurt me like that…"

"Your father didn't die Lilo, he just thinks divorce was a better way…" Ariel says "And your mother is okay now with Mister Kang right? And you get a stepbrother Taehyun is cool, Soobin oppa says he is really cool, maybe if you open yourself…"All that conversation makes Lilo's blood boil.

"Stay still Ary, I will cut your hair right now" Lilo warned before closing the scissor, Ariel hold her breath, so the three of them look at their bangs in the mirror "We look absolutely cool"

"What on earth did you guys think?" Lilo mom's almost screamed at the bedroom door "Lilo, your hair…why? When? Did you forget that you're gonna have dinner with your dad today? What are you gonna say to him? " Lilo rolls her eyes.

"Tomorrow is our first day in high school, we just wanna look cool" Her mom blink slowly realizing how badly they cut their bangs, Ariel's hair was curly, on the moment that hair dried oh lord, she took a deep breath "And why I should go have dinner with a dead person?"

"Lilo you need to get over this, Henry is still alive and is your father…" Lilo lay on her bed in the most dramatic way.

"I prefer Mister Kang to be my father, Taehyun can't just share him with me?" Lilo's mother's sighed "I swear I'll be a good daughter to him…"

"Kids, I love to have you both here, but you need to go, Lilo needs to prepare herself to have dinner with her father, and your moms probably will need to find a hair stylist to fix the mess you guys did…" Lilo doesn't move a muscle when her friends live her house, "And hurry up Lilo, Henry said that he will be here in half-hour…"

So she does the reasonable thing, for a teenager, of course, put her pillow over her head and screams until she loses her breath.

lilo: [ he is taking me to juice y pies, I can't believe he wants to profane even my child memories argh]

ariel: [everything is gonna be okay lilo, maybe you enjoy]

kai: [you gonna have dinner where Soobin sunbaenim work if anything happens you can ask for help]

We don't talk the whole way until the restaurant unless I don't say a thing, I don't wanna be here, I preferer to be dead! The car stopped at the red light.

"Do you think one day you will forgive me Lilo?" Henry asks me if he deserves it after cheating on my mom and leaving.

"You're not making this easy Henry, you don't know do a simple thing like respect my space," He sighs and I roll my eyes "I'm being honest here Henry, everything you are doing is only making me hate you more and more…"

"I only ask for this night because it is important, and my right as your father…"

"OH, NOW YOU ARE MY FATHER HENRY? NOW? AFTER ALL, YOU DID?" He parks the car in front of Juice y Pies.

"You need to understand that my relationship with your mom is different from our father and daughter bond" I roll my eyes, he is just so stupid and selfish, I hate him so much that I would explode if don't get out of this car, I get inside the restaurant and as always the owner Mr. Park was receiving the night costumers.

"Oh Miss Fisher, long time since I see you right? Tomorrow starts your freshman year right?" I smiled at him, Mr. Park was the only stable thing in San Seoul, the only thing that was there forever, and will be there until the end of the says "Oh Mr. Fisher, how long too, good see you both on good terms, fathers and daughters should always get along, is for the best.."

"Henry is not my father anymore Mr. Park but it is really good to see you again…"

"I made a reservation, table seven, there's someone waiting already…" Henry says ignoring my sharp words, let's see how long he can do this.

Mr. Park guided us to silence the people at the table: my dad's new wife and probably her son, which couldn't be worse.

"Where's Yeonjunie?"Henry asks Danielle.

"He is almost arriving, he get some things to solve on the buffet at the last minute" Danielle answered, she get up and offered her hand to compliment me, I pretended I didn't see "Hum, this is Beomgyu my son best friend…" Oh so he can bring friends, I don't… I look at Henry like I could murder him with my eyes.

"When I think you are already a terrible person, you unlocked a whole new level Henry," I say.

"Yeonjun hyung said that you were dramatic, but I don't believe it was that much…" Beomgyu mumbles.

"If you have something to say, don't act like a coward, have the nerve to say it out loud, what is the purpose of that much muscle if it doesn't give you courage enough to sustain a simple thing as your words?" I look into his eyes, he gets up to face me.

"You don't know anything about my courage, or about Danielle and Yeonjun, so don't you dare say a thing… Maybe if you have a part-time job like us you would have a more realistic vision of the world" I smile sarcastically,

"Guess what Beomgyu I give zero fucks about your opinion, about Danielle and her son's opinion! I was obligated to be here, so guess what? I will be as much dramatic, crazy and any other misogynistic thing that you can say about me, cause guess what, I don't give a shit about what you think, but if you gonna say it anyway, you should say it out loud like you owned what you just say" The look on his eyes are pure hate, nice now I'm not the only uncomfortable here.

"If you don't behave this night, I will ask for shared custody Lilo," My dad warned I laugh.

"Try your best Henry, at my age, I can decide who I stay with," I look at him "If you make my mom feel bad another time for doing a thing like this, even if she says she will never talk to me again, I swear I will ask the judge a restrictive measure and you will not be able to get near me ever again…"

"How can you be so cruel to your own dad? He just wanna spend more time with you" Beomgyu says out loud this time.

"If you're sad for him, you can keep '' I say finally sitting. "Can we just finish this fast so I can go home? Tomorrow I have class, so be fast.."

"You're not the only one that has class tomorrow…" Beomgyu says smiling like a fool, lord I wanna punch him so much, break that perfect nose on his face "Lilo honbae…"

"Just over my dead body…" I say it. High school was my dream. It would be my golden years with my friends before we go to college. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You can't do this to me…" I say to Henry.

"Lilo, let's eat first and later we talk about this with calm," Henry was such a cynical person, he wanted to destroy everything good in my life just because my mom found a way to be happy without him.

"I'm… I need to go to the bathroom" So I live the table, he will not ruin my high school, and I wouldn't let this happen, ever. So I feel someone hold me I look up and found Soobin's eyes.

"Go to the kitchen, I will make something good for you to eat" I nodded "You gonna be okay Lilo, we won't let these guys mess with you okay?"

"Okay," I whisper.

"I'll be there in a minute, " Binnie says, going to the saloon. I look at the kitchen door, and I just can't face Soobinie right now without collapsing, so I live using the back door.

Outside I feel I can breathe again, I look at the sky, just a feeling starts glowing because of how much light downtown propagates.

"You are the karaoke girl right?" A guy using a black leather jacket, he was so handsome that I wasn't able to structure a reasonable sentence "At the beach this summer you were singing, where was the song?" He sings the rhythm "You got me looking… How it was?"

"You got me looking for attention…?" I kinda sing and his smile became bigger "Sorry I don't remember you at Ariel's birthday party, you're her cousin?" He waves his head negatively.

"I was just a waiter, me and my best friend, his parents have a company that organizes parties, that day two waiters get sick and we were the only thing left…"

"Oh, that makes sense…"

"You sing really well by the way…" I feel my face burning "Everything is okay? I mean you seem very upset minutes ago…"

"My dad obligates me to come here, only to say that I will study with the son of the woman he cheats on my mom…" His expression became serious like he was really listening to me "Henry knows how much I wait for high school, I need to be perfect you know cause after that I and my best friends will follow completely opposite ways, this should be our golden years… And now is ruined…" I look at him, he seems torn somehow "Sorry I'm just oversharing my problems with you when I don't even know your name…"

"Is Y...Jun! My name is Jun" He says and the way he says remembers me of when I first met Hueningkai.

"Are you Hawaian Jun?" His eyes became wide.

"You're the first that guess right…" I smile at him.

"Well, I think I may not be everybody" Jun's smile became bigger "Are you driving? I know I just met you but I would be really grateful if you help me to escape..."

"Only if you promise that you'll sing during our runway, I really like your voice…" He offers me a helmet, I never rode on a motorcycle, and this makes my heart go even faster.

"Deal!" Jun took out his jacket and give it to me.

"So you don't get cold," I accept, my heart was beating so fast, was complete insanity just jumping on a stranger's back, but his perfume was so good that make all my survival instincts sleep for a while.

"Lilo where are you?" I heard Soobin's voice.

"Now Jun, we need to go!" I hug his dorso and his driveway, and we stay in silence until he parks at Sunset Square, was close enough to my house so I could walk home from there "Thank you, so much Jun…" I start to take off his jacket.

"You don't wanna talk about what happened?" He asks getting closer, a stranger was more willing than anyone in my family.

"I already overshare too much with you, I even already lie to you…" He looks confused I look at my feets "The one singing at the party was Ariel, I was just with the mic cause she was a bit nervous being on stage because of her family" So Jun laugh "I'm good at a lot of things, but singing is not one of those things, maybe one day…Thank you so much, one more time" So I fill my heart with courage, get on my tiptoe and give him a kiss on the chick "You really have me looking for your attention…" I whisper and just run. "SEE YOU HERE NEXT SUNDAY, 4 P.M, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!" I scream running without looking back, oh lord I lose my mind.

"I'll be here!" I answer, OH MY GOD! I turned to see him one more time, Jun was already on his motorcycle but looking at me smiling "I'll be here" He said one more time, I ran all my way home.

When I got to my front door, mom ran in my direction and hugged me, with strength, she was crying and this broke my heart. I was as selfish as Henry.

"You run all the way home my love?" She asks I nodded if I say I take a drive with a complete stranger she probably would collapse "I'm sorry that I made you go when you don't want, is just Henry will always be your father, whether you like it or not…"

"Danielle's son could bring a friend, but Hueningkai and Ariel couldn't go with me, I was completely alone with all those strangers, Henry dares to put Danielle's son in my school, he knows how much I planned this year to be perfect, but he wanted I remind of him every single day…" Mom gets speechless.

"My girls, come inside, are already late…" Mr.Kang says inside the house "Lilo, I did that chocolate candy that you love so much!"

"Mr. Kang, you should adopt me, you know that right?" I answer by making him laugh and mom smile.

"I consider you my kid as much as Taehyun is, I don't need a piece of paper to tell this!" We get inside, and the first thing I do is hug him "Oh my little girl, you have a busy night, Taehyun call a feel hours ago, and he says that you can call him if you need anything…"

"I will send him a message, he probably studying this time, Law School is not easy" I make a spoon fool of brigadeiro, and for some damn reason that Beomgyu's words echoed in my mind "Mr. Kang, do you think I can have a volunteer job at your law office? I could help with the organization," Mom looks surprised and Mr. Kang gives me a big smile.

"I thought the plan was to live fully in your high school," Mom commented.

"I plan to live fully my life" I put another spoon full of brigadeiro in my mouth "And this will help on my curriculum"

"Let's think about this next semester okay? Once you adapt to your classes we definitely can find something for you there, Taehyun started as a volunteer as well" I smile at the possibility of just rubbing it in that idiot's face.

"Now when you finish I think you should go to bed, it is really late and you have class in the morning," Mom says and kisses the top of my head.

That night I dreamed about running away with Jun we were going so fast that I opened my arms and felt like I'm flying so another motorcycle get next to ours. I look at the pilot and was that idiot Beomgyu, he offered his hand to me, and I hug Jun with more strength.

"You'll hurt yourself that way, you idiot!" I roll my eyes.

"Why did you care?" And before Beomgyu could answer Henry shows up in front of Jun's motorcycle, Junie tries to stop but everything happens too fast, on the other minute I'm on my room floor.

Chapter 2: Ditto

#txt fanfic #beomgyu imagines #txt #choi beomgyu #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fic #beomgyu #choi soobin #choi yeonjun #kang taehyun #hueningkai

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casspurrjoybell-26 · 7 months ago

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💖Sweet Revenge💖 - Chapter 4

*Warning Adult Content*

Blake Welling

I have a confession to make.

I have basically no tolerance for spicy food.

The truffle thing I ate was delicious... heavenly even but it was also really spicy and I need to get away from the cute candy-maker guy before I lose my shit.

I dash back across the street, not even bothering to look this time and take refuge in my shop, where I promptly chug half a liter of water.

It doesn't help at all but it's all I have on hand.

Ten uncomfortable minutes later, the burning subsides and I'm able to think of something other than pain.

Well, actually I think of high school, which is almost the same thing. What I told candy-guy, Aaron, was true.

I was an asshole in high school.

I was the star of the track team, friends with a bunch of dickhead jocks and so deep in the closet, I didn't even know it had a door.

But I don't remember being any worse than any other dumbass kid and I certainly don't remember doing anything that would make someone still hate me for it ten years down the road.

It makes me curious and nervous.

I've been assured that the accident didn't affect my memory in any way but I still worry that the doctors might be wrong.

If I'd done something terrible, how could I make up for it if I don't remember what it was?

I write myself a note to ask Dr. Patreski about it after physical therapy the following day.

~♡~

The next morning, though, I get a nasty surprise when I walk down from my little apartment behind my store and go to start my truck.

The engine makes a grinding, grating noise, there's a muffled 'pop' and then... nothing.

"Shit... Shit, shit, shit..." I bang my fist on the steering wheel.

I've already missed the last two appointments and if I miss this one, Dr. Patreski's office has threatened to drop me as a patient.

It's not like she's the only physical therapist in the area but I trust her and I like her and I promised I wouldn't fuck things up for myself yet again.

I pop the hood and get out to see a cloud of steam rising from beneath it.

"Mother Hubbard, piece of shit," I swear, kicking the tire and instantly regret it.

I do it with my good leg but my bad one goes out on me and I lose my balance.

I catch myself on the side of the truck and a whole new flock of curses escapes my mouth on filthy wings.

"Hey, everything okay?" I turn and see Aaron the candy-guy looking at me with a curious expression, like I'm something strange and unexpected and not altogether welcome... an unknown substance or a weird stain maybe but even in my distressed state, I appreciate how trim and neat he looks in his black slacks, white shirt and candy-striped apron.

I tear my eyes away from the patch of smooth, honey skin revealed by his open collar.

"No. My God-damn truck just blew up and I have an appointment in Felton I can't miss," I say digging out my cell-phone.

"Does Uber work around here? Or is there a bus or something?"

He stands for a minute without moving or speaking and I begin to wonder if he's just going to watch me have my crisis like it's the local 5 o'clock news.

I'm just about to lose my temper when he speaks.

"I was planning to go into Felton this afternoon for supplies... but I can go now and give you a lift, if you want," he says, looking at my truck's steaming hood.

"Yes. Oh my God, yes, please. I'll give you gas money," I pull out my wallet.

"Here."

I try to hand him a twenty but he just makes a face.

"I don't want your money. When's your appointment?"

"Ten-thirty."

"Alright. Let me get my stuff and we'll go. That's my car there," he points to a little grey Fiat further down the street.

"Here," he tosses me his set of keys.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a minute."

He turns and walks back to his own store, vanishing inside.

I feel kind of weird but I go and unlock his car and get in on the passenger side.

It's compact, more than a few years old and definitely a base model.

On the other hand, it's clean and obviously well-cared for.

I like it and it seems to fit him somehow.

A minute later he returns.

He's changed into dark jeans and a black t-shirt and somehow the casual clothes make him look even younger than he already does.

When I first saw him in the store, I'd assumed he was an employee because I'd thought he was twenty-two at most.

Now he looks barely legal.

"What?" he snaps, frowning at me. I realize I was staring.

"Sorry. I'm just... er... upset about my truck. Is it really okay for you to leave your store like this? Won't it impact your business?"

"I've got someone coming in. At least, as long as no one dies, and all the alligators are accounted for."

"Um?"

I'm kind of lost but I forge on.

"Anyway, thanks for offering to drive me."

"Sure, don't mention it. Where are we going, anyway?"

I give him the address and he puts it into his phone's GPS.

"A doctor's office?" he asks, then blushes.

"Sorry. None of my business."

"No, it's okay. It's just physical therapy."

"Oh?"

He doesn't press but after a few seconds, I'm compelled to tell him anyway.

"I got hit by a drunk driver about two years ago. I was riding my bike through this quiet little town... the kind of place you never expect anything bad to happen... and BOOM... out of nowhere, this guy just hits me coming off a side street. Shattered my left leg. I'm just glad they could save it... although from the X-Rays it looks like I've got more metal than bone in there at this point. That's kinda why I opened the shop. I'm not competing in any rides any time soon but at least I can provide some fuel for other people's dreams."

He keeps his eyes on the road but I can see from his profile that his expression is troubled.

"I'm sorry. That sounds... rough."

"Well, it ain't been smooth," I laugh.

"That's for sure but I know it could've been a hell of a lot worse and I've got a lot to be grateful for."

The corner of his mouth dips down in a little twitch of a frown.

"What about you?" I prompt.

He looks over and his crystal blue eyes are wide and bright.

"What about me?" he asks.

"What are you going into Felton for? Supplies, you said, right?"

I don't know what I said wrong but the iron curtain drops again and his face is suddenly as expressionless as a porcelain doll's.

"Oh, yeah," he says.

"That's right. Supplies."

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the-dream-beyond · 1 year ago

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Episode 15 - Unleashing the Entrepreneurial Spirit & Rewriting the Rules of Success with John Ratliff

John Ratliff

But one of the things you are when you're an entrepreneurs builder, you're literally creating something out of nothing. Whether it's a startup or a new division or a new service offering or even new marketing materials, new ads, new copy new content, whatever it is, we we are blessed we get the gift as entrepreneurs to be in constant creation mode now, because that's, that's literally how you build the future of business.

Nik Tarascio

This episode is honestly one of my favorite. This guest is going to be talking about just his incredible journey through the entrepreneurial arc from the highs to the lows, to the spiritual awakenings and a bunch of lessons along the way. So I really hope you take some time to sit with this one, write some notes. I mean, there's just so much good stuff that that he shares with us today. So hope you enjoy.

Welcome to the dream beyond. I'm your host, Nik Tarascio. I'm a CEO musician, an overall seeker of Truth, inspiration and simply put, how to live the most fulfilling life possible. Growing up surrounded by extremely wealthy and successful people gave me unique and unfiltered perspectives of those who have seemingly made it on the dream beyond we're letting you in on what it really takes to achieve your dreams. What happens when it turns out your destination isn't the promised land you are expecting and how to process the lessons from your past while mapping of course to true fulfillment. Let's get started.

All right. Hey, everybody. He is the CEO of scaling up coaches, and Managing Director and Partner of a line five strategic consultancy firm. He's also a serial entrepreneur with over 25 years of experience as a CEO and investment banker. He was the founder and CEO of Apple Tree answers. The telephone answering service started in 1955. And my favorite thing about him he's a fellow pilot, flying my favorite airplane, the TBM 850. Please welcome John Ratliff. Thanks so much for being here today, John.

John Ratliff

Thanks, Nick, good to see you. I wish it was 15 years experience not over 25. But good to be.

Nik Tarascio

All good. I'm on my way to you, man. I'm building that experience. So I appreciate it. And you know, I was really affected by you. And I saw you speak at one of the scaling up conferences, and you were talking about your journey. And I think it was about Michael singers book or something like that. And I just saw you like, really kind of go there with the emotional stuff. And it made me want to touch on that today. But even go a little further back, which was you've had this incredible success throughout your career, at least from what it seems from the outside. And I was wondering like, what was that early dream for you when you were a teenager when you were just finding your way towards business? What was that? What was the first thing you really dreamed up?

John Ratliff

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I the running joke in my family was I was 10 years old. And you know, instead of firemen or policemen, when when I got the question, what do you want to do when you grow up? I didn't even know the word entrepreneur was really not a word that was being used a lot back then. But I kind of always had this idea that I wanted to own a business. And I was fascinated by it from an early age. And I don't know if it was a desire to be independent, or, or, you know, call my own shots. And I'm not sure but I knew from a very, very young age and, you know, I was the kid with the paper route. And, you know, always thinking about, you know, what can I do that mowed lawns, and then hired other kids to mow lawns and, and then in high school did things out of business in college doing marketing. And so it was, it was really kind of in my blood, I think the whole way that I got out of college and I worked for, I worked for a wireless phone company for about six or seven months as a commissioned salesperson and then convinced the carrier back then to let me open my own stores. I was the ripe old age of 22. And the rest is history. So I haven't worked for anyone, since that that was one of the two jobs that ever held was the commission only salesperson, so might as well. So

Nik Tarascio

Where do you think it came from? You said it was in you know, you felt it in your blood? But who inspired that? Or where do you think the source was for you?

John Ratliff

Yeah, you know, it's fascinating. My dad was a fortune 500 C suite level executive. So ran global sales for a company that at their peak was probably fortune 360 ad reported directly to the CEO. And I, I kind of just love the idea of business in general. And but what I didn't love watching my dad's career and was how long it took them to get into the C suite. So I thought, you know, the quick solution is you figure it out on your own and you start your own company. And so I think my love of business came from watching my dad and kind of how he operated in the business world and then I think my impatience was probably what led me to pursue the entrepreneurial route. It's funny, I interned at the company that, you know, that he worked with in college.

And this was in the late 80s, early 90s. And there were a bunch of sales guys there that were making, there were two days in that office making seven figures in like 1990, which is, you know, massive amount back then. And I knew that I wanted to be entrepreneurial, and they were like, You're crazy, should go work in corporate America. And this is where, you know, this is where you can make more money than anywhere else. And in hindsight, you know, I, I still stand by my decision to be an entrepreneur, but there was certainly some pressure early on that, you know, to go a different path. But I think that was probably why I didn't want to wait, I didn't want to take the time. That's probably why I'm not a doctor, I didn't want to do 12 years of medical school, I wanted to kind of make my mark straight away. I didn't want to go to college.

Nik Tarascio

Like, do you speak about becoming a doctor, like a jail sentence? do much? Well, you know, it's

John Ratliff

my younger brother. We're neurologists, and I, you know, I watched his career and but, you know, I think he was in his early to mid 30s, before he actually got to get out in the world and kind of do what he does. So, man, it's like patience. I think that's probably in hindsight, my massive level of impatience that that led me to be entrepreneurial.

Nik Tarascio

And then once you got there, and you started, you started your own business, and you're kind of moving through that. Was it different than what you thought the dream would be? Like? It was the dream, to own a business and to be running a business was the dream to exit a business? Like, you know, I'm curious how that compared to the reality of it when you were actually in the trenches?

John Ratliff

No, the dream was to own and run never really, in the beginning thought about exit. And, you know, probably the most surprising part of all of it was a how much you don't know, you know, the, the knowledge gap, when there's a lot of subtle things about being successful as an entrepreneur, and be lonely it is because most of my friends went traditional routes, one of my best friends growing up ones, that attorney wants a school teacher.

And, you know, when you when you sit around, it's difficult to explain the entrepreneurial journey to others. And it and that's, you know, we'll get to the medical center stuff, I think, it really creates kind of a sense of loneliness. And, and I, I actually believe that one of the things that leads you to be entrepreneurial, certainly add is, you know, most entrepreneurs carry that add trait. So you're, you're just sort of antsy and unsettled. And I think that's part of it. But you also see things in the world that aren't optimal, and you have a desire to make them optimal. So I think it can be frustrating, it can be lonely, it can be hard to talk about. That was probably the biggest surprise, you know, I I end early, you know, when you start and you're in startup mode, and you don't know a lot it, you know, the early days can really be frustrating. And they were for sure.

Nik Tarascio

Were there. I mean, were there actually moments where, you know, you had that that corporate person you were talking about in your head, it was saying you should have gone this path. Did you have those moments of incredible self doubt.

John Ratliff

So I started the I started a wireless company, seven months after, you know, working for the the one real job that I had, and managed to sell that business, actually to my former employer about two years later and started a call center business, which turned into Apple Tree answers. And I was about that business was 24/7 365, and started completely from scratch. And I did a lot of the shoulder period work where you know, someone had to be there around the clock to answer the phone. I was trying to build the business during the day and we had people that were in during the day to answer the phone.

But I lived at the office, it was in a commercially zoned apartment complex and I lived in the office and I would do all the overnights and weekends and there were there were literally weeks and possibly months where I never left the office because I was I was the one answering the phone and there was a moment about two years and it was four in the morning on a Monday. So it was I worked the entire weekend by myself. It was it was Saturday night, Sunday night and then Sunday into Monday. And I had not slept more than two hours in probably, I don't know four or five days and I had this a big buzzer next to my bed so when the phone rang, the buzzer would go off and wake me up and we had residential neighbors upstairs. They love that but so the buzzer would go off and it would wake me from a dead sleep and I'd go and stumbling and answer the phone. It was about like I said for a Monday Warning, the buzzer went off and I was done. I'd had enough and the way I had it set up so I was sort of sounded awake enough to actually be on the phone, I had to walk by this closet in the apartment and all the equipment for the call center, like the phones and the computers and stuff are in this closet. And I walked by and I glanced in there, the light was on and I'm like, I'm done. I've done enough.

And I went in there and I literally grabbed kind of mainframe computer switch that ran everything and I put my hands on it. That was getting yanked out out of the tax, I was gonna yank it out of the wall, throw it on the ground and sleep for two days, because I was done. And I put my hands on it, I reached out and I grabbed it. And I had one of those like, you know, they talked about your life passes before your eyes, like I actually saw it was crazy. But I saw kind of my business life passed before my eyes and and I realized in that moment that if I am so close by just got this out and figure out a way to get through the next couple of months and couple of years that there's something really good on the other end. And I have my whole kind of mindset changed in that in in that instant. And the sense of calm came over me and I was obviously wide awake at this point. And I when I sat down this, there's a punch line to the story. But I sat down and the call was what we did in the call center business was we answered the phone for companies, when they weren't there to do it themselves.

For some of them. It was around the clock. For some it was after hours, this happened to be an after hours one. It was it was Delaware Express, they used to pick people up and take them to the airport and four o'clock. They got lots of calls at four o'clock in the morning. So I sit down to answer it. I'm all ready to help this person figure out how they're going to get to the airport or their drivers not there or whatever. So I answered the phone. I said good morning, Delaware express how may I help you and I hear a voice on the other end of the phone good. Ah, sorry, man, wrong number and hangs up. So I almost threw it all the way over a wrong number for one of our clients. But it was that moment where I just I just had enough of a shift that I knew if I got it out. I was gonna I was gonna be okay. So that was my, it lasted. But I was ready to be in the C suite in that instant for sure.

Nik Tarascio

But how did you and how did you make meaning of that? On the other side? I mean, it sounds like now you've put it into a clear box of like, Oh, that was in many ways my life flashing before my eyes. And I saw the two paths in the moment. I mean, did you think you're crazy or delusional like or was it really this knowing that came over you like that was something beyond me.

John Ratliff

So I sat down and after it was the wrong number, I just sort of laughed, and I just kind of sat there and said, All right. Like, you know, and back then I am now but back then I wasn't a big like, you know, that's a sign kind of guy. But. But I sat there for probably 10 minutes or so. And I just thought like, I've put so much work and so much effort to get to this moment. To throw it away now would be a disservice to all the people that supported me to all the people that, you know, we didn't really have outside investors, but my family had lent money and I owed money to friends and family that that helped me along the way and to quit would be not only quitting on me, but it'd be quitting on them.

And yeah, just, you know, it all shipped out. Listen, there were a lot of dark days between that that realization and today, but it just kind of changed my perspective a little bit on, you know, there's more people than just me that, you know, are counting on me here. And, you know, we had at the time, probably, she's 100 150 customers, and it would have been a lot on I'm glad that I came to my senses and didn't throw it all all the way in that that moment, but it would have been a lot to unwind it over weeks or months. So you know, that was probably the revelation was, hey, there's a lot that's gone into this. A lot of people are counting on you suck it up and figure this out. So I did.

Nik Tarascio

Yeah. And, again, I mean, I imagine that a lot of people go through that moment that, you know, is this even worth it? I hope it's worth it, but only if the future gets brighter. You know, you've done coaching with people. So I imagine, you know, what advice do you give to people that are there kind of approaching that cliff right? You can kind of see as they're going into, like they're kind of falling out of love with their business. They're not sure if this is the right path. Other stuff looks really interesting. Yeah. What do you impart on people in that space?

John Ratliff

Yeah, one of the things you know, I get to I get asked a lot to talk to kind of new young entrepreneurs and, you know, even pre startup or startup one of the things I say all the time, it sounds a little like a platitude, but it's to me it's totally true is you have to be willing to say I am NOT what willing to fail. Like, if, if I'm not going to make it, it's because I left every single ounce of everything I have on the field. And I just ran out of runway like, and if if you're someone that gets discouraged and has a track record, and you've got to look inside, and I believe, I believe anyone can be an entrepreneur, but I also believe you have to have a certain mindset and makeup. And I believe you can learn that mindset and learn that makeup. But if you don't want to, or you're not willing to, then you should never ever think about an entrepreneurial path. And that mindset is, failure is not an option.

And again, I know that sounds cliche, but it really is because it would have been i and when I tell you, I was like, I don't remember a lot of 1997 I was that sleep deprived. And in that moment, it would have been totally easy to say that this, this is crazy. Like, I don't see an end inside and I can give up right now, no one would have questioned and said, Hey, I can't believe you quit, like, and my mom who did our books, and would answer the phone during the day to help out sometimes, literally said to me every single day for over a year, this is the dumbest idea you've ever had, you should you should get rid of this thing tomorrow. So I had the backing of my mind support team and my family to throw in the towel. But in hindsight, and if you're a young entrepreneur, or you're thinking about this path, again, anyone can do it for you better, like have the right mindset and mental approach to it.

And failure can't be it, you can't give up easy because you'll never make it. And when you hear great success stories, there's always some of those more I need to do this. Probably a lot. And there's always some of those moments where that was the fork in the road. And I happen to go right and thank God right was the correct direction or left or whatever it was, and, and often those are those moments of like, do I quit? Or do I not? And, you know, you can't be willing to throw in the towel. Unless, you know your health is at risk or you you literally exhausted every every option. So and yeah, failure is important. And I get it like, but it's it's failures along the way, but but quitting on what you're trying to build. That's what I'm talking about. Not it's okay to fail. But it's, it's to me, not okay to just quit and throw in the towel.

Nik Tarascio

So it's a huge difference, I think, too. And I'm curious to know, from the time you were in that year, where you again, were driving yourself to this level of sleep deprivation, how much of it was driven by you know, this belief that there was something better on the other side and how much was just self abuse.

John Ratliff

So when I when I talked about my business life flashed before my eyes, that final scene was the belief that something better was on the other side. So I was deeply entrenched in that belief in that. You know, the running joke about I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but wasn't sure if it was an oncoming train. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. And listen, it sucks for five more years. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was it was brutally hard. One of my one of my running joke pieces of advice is don't start at 24/7 365 business, unless you have at least five partners one for each day to work around the clock.

But I was a I was a cap table of one I was the only you know, I was the only one so but it was in that moment that I saw it and I knew like not only saw but knew, like internally knew if I stick with this, it's going to work and there's going to be a good outcome. So that's got to be I mean, it if it were easy anyone would do it being an entrepreneurs is probably the most irrational decision anyone can ever make. The odds are stacked I mean, you know, there's no backstop, it's easier when you're young. It's really hard when you have a family but but it's also it when done well and, and part of your chords. It's the single greatest gift you can give yourself which is freedom and independence. So but it is a wrap zone every single way.

Nik Tarascio

And so you're saying it's not only hard to be an entrepreneur, but also may be hard to run a 24/7 airline that that may not be the most rational decision. Yeah,

John Ratliff

I would. Absolutely. Absolutely say when it's only you and it's three in the morning. It's not Yeah, it's absolutely irrational. But yeah,

Nik Tarascio

I think that's probably why a lot of airlines are family but As nurses, because you need a lot of family members to put up with the shit of it's Christmas, though and like nobody cares. It's nobody cares about your personal life anymore. No,

John Ratliff

no, it's Christmas, I need to get from point A to point B. So that's

Nik Tarascio

right. I mean, it's right. Even more. So. Yeah. Yeah. So we've dealt with dealt with a lot of that. And,

John Ratliff

you know, all kidding aside, sometimes it's, I'm not, I'm not a great partner. So I struggle in partnership style. I'm, I'm in part I've been in and I'm currently in partnerships. I don't think I make a good partner, because I'm so fiercely independent. But there are times where it's really nice to have somebody else to just say, Hey, I'm like, at the end, can you you know, can you handle this? Or can you handle this. So there's a lot to be said, for having people around you that that you can, you know, talk to, and then pass things off to when you're when you're at the break or your breaking point. And I didn't have that which, you know, in hindsight, it would have been nice to have.

Nik Tarascio

You know, the other thing that really stands out, and what you said for me is like there have been almost in my life. But you know, I grew up I'm generation to have a family business that I think the vision was survival. Like when you really think like, what do you guys envision for the future? It's like just making it through the next pay cycle, and figure out a way to not go out of business. But you know, there were times where we just kind of adrift and didn't have a vision of the future and what you said about having that vision, if it will get better. That sounds like the true north of anybody. I mean, even if it's a relationship, that's hard, right? If you're like I'm in a marriage, that's really difficult. I mean, that vision of the future seems to be the lifeline that allows people to muster that last bit of energy and push through. And, you know, when you said that, that really brought that, to me were like, my hardest years were the ones where I didn't know where I was going. Yeah, I didn't know why I was working so hard.

John Ratliff

It's fascinating. I, I think and especially that I've tripled down on this thought, but I think the most important skill an entrepreneur possesses is creativity. And that was never more apparent. Like I said, I tripled down during COVID. I think that's, that's three times more important than it was in 2019. But even in 2019, I think the most important skill you can possess as an entrepreneur is creativity. The second most important skills, optimism, because you have to be the second that you're pessimistic about the future, you start making sub optimal decisions subconsciously, if you don't see a brighter future, there's a really, really good chance you're gonna make suboptimal decisions. So if he can muster even in the darkest days, you can muster some semblance of optimism. I think that can be the sort of the energy that propels you through. And, you know, I know some pretty Rockstar entrepreneurs names that you would know. And that's one of those skills that I'm always amazed that in their darkest days, in the face of like, this is impossible. They're still optimistic. And those lessons from some of those people are ality so it's been been pretty cool. Yeah, the

Nik Tarascio

pandemic was a great lesson in that I remember when we first went into it, we doubled very early in the pandemic, partly because when people were basically protecting their cash, we went out and bought anything we could buy the fit with art, we were hire people hold all of our people buy new planes, because the thought was if the whole industry goes to zero, I'd rather go down in flames. Like, let's have fun with this thing. Yeah. But if it turns the other direction, we might as well play for the win. Yeah. And you're right, if we hadn't had that moment of, you know, there's actually a lot of hope here, I think we would have missed the boat. And we would have been stuck defending this square when everyone else had already placed their bets.

John Ratliff

Yeah. And that, you know, you, you say an interesting thing. When you talk about defending the square, sometimes when you've started to taste or have some semblance of success, you're playing not to lose instead of to win. And, and, you know, with our coaching community, we really saw there were there were three very distinct mindsets through the pandemic. And we, we changed from, we used to get on a call with our coaches once a month. We were doing two or three calls a week at one point just to see and it was cool because we have 250, scaling up coaches all around the world. So we were getting to see the pandemic from a global perspective. We had a coach in China, for instance, that was like at the tip of the spear and Europe and South America and, you know, Africa, a couple of coaches in Africa and India. And we really saw three distinct kind of mindsets. And one was there was a group of entrepreneurs that were being coached by our clients that just went into motion like as long as they were in motion.

They weren't really thinking about what they were doing, but they had to just take action like that was there. And I'm talking about in the very early days, the March, April days up to wanting to it. And then the second group, total deer in the headlights, they just froze and didn't know what to do. And their fear, like literally caused them to be, like completely stuck, bad, no action whatsoever and no creativity or thinking. And then the third grid sort of took a step back and said, Okay, this is this is new, but I've relative experience from the past, maybe not directly correlated. But, you know, I understand patterns of business. And I've got gut instinct and some decision making chops. Let me just observe and see what's going on. And then let me fit in. I don't know if you're familiar with OODA, loop, Oda, it's from the fighters, John Boyd. So from an OODA Loop perspective, they were in observation mode, so no bias, just let me take in all the data that I can't, we actually adopted the OODA loop on these on a weekly sort of rhythm and pace for the coaches. And would be hard this week, we're just going to observe that first Oh, and who to Oh, the, we're just going to observe no bias, like, we're not going to assign what we think to what we see, we're just gonna take in all the data we can. In week two, we're going to orient, which is the second Oh, nuda.

Where do we fit in? Like, what's, what's our place? And what we've just observed, and then a fighter pilot kind of pilots, it's, you know, kept taking in all the data. But where do I fit in the data? Where's my wingman? And where's the sun? Where's, you know, as a cloudy is said, Friday out, it's windy, all those things. And then the third week was okay, now we need to make a decision, what are we going to do next. And then we need to take action and decision and action happened in the same week, but it stretched out, don't decide this week and take action next. But what I love about that framework, that mindset of the OODA Loop is as soon as you take action, you immediately go back into observation mode. And the coaches that were the most successful, and the entrepreneurs that were most successful, were the ones that immediately soon as I took an action, again, went back to no bias. And let's just see what happens. Let's see what's going on in the the analogy we give, we give a million of them. But one of the ones that resonates as you think about if you watch basketball, a great player takes three point shot, and they admire their shot as it's arcing through the air towards the basket. So they've taken their action, but they're not back to observation yet.

They're actually pausing to admire their whatever their action, their shot. The world class player sues the balls left his hand. He doesn't care if it goes in or not. He's right back to observation. Okay, where are the opponents? I, you know, that shot, I see it arcing. But I'm not going to stand here and admire it, I'm gonna like figure out where I fit, I'm gonna orient again. And I'm making the next decision, I'm taking the next action for the balls, even to the basket. And, and again, John Boyd, the fighter pilot said, if I can get my loop tighter, and I can get inside my opponent, and then COVID will call coach with the opponent if, if I can get inside that loop, that I have an advantage over that over the competitor. And, and again, it was that third group of our coaches and our clients. And eventually we got everyone in this mindset was, let's observe, let's orient, let's decide act.

And let's observe again, and they were the ones that really thrived. And I hear with you, you know, you guys buying airplanes. And obviously, assets were on sale for half price. That whole time. And it sounds like you went through a lot of those same iterations, like Alright, see what's going on, let's see where we are able to make a decision, take action, and let's see where we are. So I admire the fact that you took action during a period where a lot of people were completely stuck. And that's what's up became, again, I three times more important during that period than it ever was. But always, I think the most important skill for an entrepreneur.

Nik Tarascio

Well, just like any good creativity, I'm gonna go completely off script with where I wanted to go with you now that you talked about that. So, of course, create creativity is an interesting thing for me, because, you know, again, as evidenced by the guitars on my wall, I was a musician and I never I rejected business. I said, I don't want to be a suit. Something about being a suit just scared the hell out of me was like, that's just death while I'm still alive. And only to find out that for me, going back to the visioning is that I saw the most important creative act I need to have is to paint a picture so compelling of the future that people would dedicate their life, their time away from their family to help build it.

And when it got hard, they'd be like, it's still a really beautiful picture. And it reminds me of what's possible. Yeah. And it's really that that I was like, well, writing a song is one thing, building a vision of the future that hasn't happened yet. That is just a whole other level of artistry. And so I am curious to hear more about how you seek Creativity showing up for you are some of the other people that you've worked with, because I've never really made that connection that maybe I'm actually a good entrepreneur because I'm a creative, you know, the creative, the creative part of me, not in spite of it.

John Ratliff

I totally, I mean, one of the things you are when you're an entrepreneurs builder, you're literally creating something out of nothing, whether it's a startup or a new division, or a new service offering or even new marketing materials, new ads, new copy new content, whatever it is, we we are blessed we get the gift, as entrepreneurs to be in constant creation mode. No, because that's, that's literally how you build the future of business. If you and again, I admire the people that show up to make our creative visions reality, and how can we compel people to to be part of what we want to create. But if you don't create a compelling vision, there's no place for people to show up to play in that game. And I also believe that one of the reasons you're so drawn, and again, I'm going to be super assumptive.

But part of it my my oldest five, a 20 year old, who's a singer songwriter, I was just on a United flight and one of the movies in rotation on the United flight. As a 20 year old, he's got songwriting credit in that movie. So he's, he's at the top of his game, and I've watched him grow up as a creative. But one of the things that really compels him, and I would imagine you is his creativity, the ability to move other people, right, so you write a song and write it for yourself first. But you also write it to be out in the world and inspire others. It's no different in business and creating a really compelling vision for a business and building something from nothing. Your businesses don't live in a vacuum, they exist to serve customers and serve employees, and serve stakeholders. Without the creative energy that goes into the building of that nothing happens.

And probably the same reason you want to construct a song for you first, but for others to enjoy, is what drives you to build business for you first, but for others to solve a problem or get from A to B or show up to work and feel like they're part of something bigger than themselves. And I think that's our, that's our burden. And our gift is entrepreneurs. And I don't want to again, it sounds platitude, and cliche, but someone's got to build that stuff, right? Because if if, if all of us were really good gone to work in other people's visions, there'd be no vision, right? Someone's got to create the compelling case. And yeah, that's, that's the thing I love the most about being entrepreneurs, the creation part. So that's why I'm super super, like adamant that creativity is the most important skill. So

Nik Tarascio

yeah, it's, again, as you were talking, it just really brought me through of how much both my music and my relationship to the business have followed the exact same arc, which is I used to suffer to create from my own pain. And I'm like, no wonder why I love my family's business. It was most painful thing I could imagine. It was the 24/7 Sleep deprivation. I basically lived at the hangar doing the same things for am flights and all types of crazy stuff. And I was like, Wow, this this was at the end of the day, I was self referential, how do I make this thing survive for me and for my family? I noticed over the last five years, this real shift into what is it like to create from abundance?

Like what is it like to create in service of others, my music has become that my business leadership has become that where it's like, yeah, I care more about the culture of the company than even what we do. If we have people that love their day, and love the job and love the work that they do, and customers that appreciate that I don't really care what I'm putting out. I don't care if it's airplanes or, you know, we're paint houses. So it's really interesting to hear you say that I've never really visualized how those two things were in lockstep. So it's, it has been my spiritual path, which kind of tees up I'm curious about yours. And that's really what I think drew me to you in the first place was you talking about I think it was being on a flight. I don't want to ruin your story. But I remember you talking about reading one of the Michael singer books.

John Ratliff

Yeah. Well, and I definitely want to get into that because it's such a cool story. But just taking one step back for you. I would imagine there was a moment where, like you grew up in a family business. And we we see it again, in our in our conscious community. We work with lots and lots and lots of family businesses in m&a. I've taken lots family companies to market there was probably a moment where you wax and feeling like you are sort of forced into the family business as in a in an employment role and quite possibly the worst possible employment role because you didn't have a lot of choice in the matter and someone else's vision was guiding what you needed to do it for them.

And then that was probably a flip of the switch like, Hey, I have some say I have a seat at the table. I have a stake in this outcome, and I can do some of the Creation work. So we see that all the time and in family business But fast forward to the to Michael singer and in that whole piece to the puzzle. So, you know I in the flight you were right, so I battled depression. And I strongly believe that a lot of what compels people to be entrepreneurs, is they are dissatisfied with the status quo. They want to go out and make change in the world, they want to create it a lot of creatives battled depression, a lot of entrepreneurs, I think, battled depression, the stats say, seven or eight out of 10, at some point in their entrepreneurial journey will have a moderate or greater, depressive moment. For me it was it started early on I was I was a kid, battled through high school I battled through college, never talked about it kind of didn't even really acknowledge it to myself, but it was always with me. And the metaphor I use, it was like having a blanket, and there were some times blanket was really heavy.

Or sometimes I was barely sort of cognizant that it was there, but it was always with me. And it was always sort of weighing me down. And then I go through my, there were some dark days, like I shared ripping the thing out of the wall that was a super depressive period. So I go all the way through to the end, and I I sell the company and you know, should have been the happiest kind of set of moments in my life but still battling like, now you sort of lose your identity and and all the things that went with it. So it was really like it actually kind of heightened my depressive state. And again, my my arc was, you know, from, at times, suicidal to times, barely, barely recognized that I was depressed, but it was always with me. And I was part of a group called Genius Network. I'm still part of it today got in Joe call us out in Phoenix and and Joe is a great mentor to entrepreneurs. And he's been on his own journey with addiction and all sorts of other stuff. So, but like one of those real good curators of like groups and and thought leadership and ideas.

So I went out to one of his meetings and and we would meet three or four times a year in Phoenix, and he had put out in front of everyone that they're up there, you know, see the Untethered Soul by Michael singer. And one of the weird things that happened when I was in my more depressive states, I lost my ability to read. And I'm a lifelong learner, like, I believe that that's another like creativity, optimism, lifelong learner, right third on the list of important skills for our for our success. When you can't read, it's hard. And then you know, video and audible and stuff, but I literally had kind of lost, I could read a page or two and then have a really bad headache. The word started to look weird. So the books out there, I'm like, Yeah, great. I can't read anyway, so I tucked it in my briefcase. And I was flying the TBM at the time, but Phoenix I would only do the TBM from from Wilmington, Philly area to Phoenix if I had other stops to make. So I happened to be on a commercial flight.

And so the books in the briefcase, I'm flying home, somewhere over probably Nebraska. And I don't even know I reached down but I reached down and pulled out the Untethered Soul. And I started to read and realize them, like 10 pages in 20 pages in 30 pages and and kind of like, well, I'm surprised that can even get this far. Because normally it's two pages, and I'm done. And I get somewhere around I don't know, probably, I think I should know what page it is. But there's a section in the book where he talks about depression and trauma and and how a lot of times we just suppress negative emotions instead of dealing with them and moving on from them and that you carry negative emotions, like physical energy inside your body. And if you can just let it go. Oftentimes, you let it go forever. No, that's fascinating. And then again, he talks Michael singer talks in the book about if you can just sort of like when you're experiencing negativity, instead of like cramming it down, like just sort of move by. But he said, but you've got years if not decades of other negative that you've crammed in.

And the best way to get rid of it is to just kind of, again, it's a physical like, reference, but it's on a mental topic, but he's like, just kind of lean away from it and like feel your heart open up and like know that all that negatives like down into your stomach and just sort of let it like, Come out, come out, relive it one more time and let it go. So I'm like yeah, You know that's that's an whatever I'm I'm just happy I'm reading I'm lookouts and interesting idea. Know what made me do it but I just sort of sat back in my seat sitting in like, row two and first class, right. And I just sort of sit back in my seat. And I, I let like some weird negative thing and I was thinking about like, it did exactly what he described in the book. And like, I like, feel it in my chest like, and it comes up and I like felt this weird thing in my throat and I watched it sort of go away. And he's like, Oh, that was interesting. So like, I let like something else go. Next thing I know, my whole body's like, I put my finger in a electrical socket. I'm like, literally, like, I feel like I'm like humming like vibrating. All this energy is like, flooding into me. And all this negative shit. And sorry to curse on your podcast, but

Nik Tarascio

it's okay. We could put it explicit.

John Ratliff

All this negative stuff, we can make it where you make good stuff. Oh, is that your stuff? Is like coming out of me. And I'm like, buzzing like, like absolutely euphoric. And I realize, which is the hilarious part that like, tears of joy are literally streaming down my face, where they're like, dripping off my shirt. And I remember distinctly having this moment where I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I am sure everyone in first class thinks I'm absolutely out of my mind. And I'm like, probably preparing to take this plane down. Right? So I put sunglasses on because I'm so like, I'm not even embarrassed. I'm just aware of like, what is the sociopath doing and to see like crying like this. I mean, it was not like, it wasn't like, it was just euphoria, like just so I get off the plane. I'm still like, total like, like vibration, like Buzz state that lasted.

And for the first time since I was 12, the blanket was gone. And I mean, like, totally gone. I felt lighter. I felt like it was it was crazy. Like, I know, this story, contextually sounds bizarre, but trust me, it was like, That lasted for six weeks. And it was funny because I had a friend of mine that I hadn't seen in probably six months. And spacetime to me should request. She was doing an acquisition, and she wanted to ask about it. And she FaceTimed me. And she's like, Oh my God, you look like you've lost like 50 pounds, I had not lost an ounce. But she noticed in the first 10 seconds on a FaceTime that this weight that was on noon, which was this blanket, literally, it was gone. And it was and I can't tell you how many people in that ensuing six weeks while I was still like, totally connected to this energy. We're like, You look totally different.

And nothing changed except for except for that. So obviously, and I tell that story from stage, and I've recommended the Untethered Soul to 1000s of people, I get people that I don't even know all the time come up to me and they're like, I can't believe it, that that totally changed me. So for anyone that's, you know, battling depression, and, and it's not a cure all for everybody. But there's some great like mindsets in there about just how to release stuff that is not serving us at all that we're holding on to just because we didn't want to deal with it in the first place. I mean, some of this stuff I was carrying around for decades. And it all just sort of went. So it's crazy story. It's great. And it's amazing. I was not I had a spiritual awakening moment, actually in the British Virgin Islands on Necker Island. But I was not a super spiritual person at this particular moment in time, I became one down the road and now but that was not like this wasn't a woowoo I'm like, super spiritual. This was just a technique on how to get rid of negative crap that we're carrying around. So

Nik Tarascio

beautiful story. I was affected by it. It was I heard it like 10 years ago, or eight years ago or something, and it always stuck with me.

John Ratliff

I still to this day, have people that will come up to me and it's tell Believe me when I tell you, I was probably with you if you were stealing up probably in front of seven or 800 people and I get emotional when I tell it and it's hard to do that. It'd be that vulnerable in front of the number of people but I actually feel like it's my responsibility. Because it happened for me the to go through to share. So that's why I share it. I don't share it because it's fun to get on stage and cry in front of several people, but it was it was the most powerful. To that point in my life. It was one most powerful thing I've ever experienced. So who's crazy?

Nik Tarascio

That's a Yeah, it's a big one. And I think it's that wait. I see it all the time, especially with entrepreneurs. I see it all the time where, you know, you ask the question at a conference, how's it going? It's good. And you know, or it's great. And you're like, No, I see the weight. I see the weight on you. Yeah, it is beautiful to see that, you know, books like Michael singers books. And that was a that was a big one for me, too. That was definitely one that was like, Oh, shit. There's like a whole other realm of stuff going on here that I can't quite understand. Yeah. But but you know, coming, coming through something like that, and later finding a connection to spirituality. I am curious what, you know, what have you found? Or what what is the relationship to fulfillment as you've kind of gone through the door of like, you had a lot of the external trappings of success. I mean, literally, you're living the I got the plane, I sold the company, I did all that stuff. How has that changed your concept of fulfillment for yourself?

John Ratliff

Well, you know, one thing that I've really like, and again, the lesson just gets repeated over and over and over to the point where you have to, like, you can't not pay attention to it anymore. Some of the most successful people that I know, and I'm unfortunate or, or not, maybe to be surrounded by ultra ultra successful people all the time. And the vast majority of them are completely unhappy, they're completely out of alignment. And the more unhappier they are, the harder they work, the more success they find, and the more they chase it, the more unhappy they are. And it becomes this really like disempowering circle. And some of the happiest people I know, are they have, they have whatever level of success they have. But they're comfortable in their own skin.

They're excited about the future, they love to be around their friends and family. And they're grateful for the littlest things in the moment. And they're not chasing stuff that at the end of the day doesn't matter. And, yeah, I get it, it's easy to say that if you've had, you know, kind of the successful outcomes that I've had, but I can tell you that at my peak of success, I was the least happy. And now I would say where I don't chase success anymore. And it's not, you know, and I've have invested a lot in others. And I've done a lot of things. And my level of success today is probably less than it was but at its peak. But I find gratitude and things now that I used to not have time for because I was so busy chasing some ideal so and then again, money can buy you happiness to a point where you've got enough to be an independent thinker and do the things you want to do. And so I'm not saying this is like, don't worry about making money, don't worry about being successful. But if you can't find gratitude along the way, you're gonna chase happiness forever and be miserable. And that's that's probably the biggest lesson there. There's a guy named Dan Sullivan, he's got an organization called Strategic Coach. I don't know, do you know are familiar with Dan, coach?

Dan Dennett has this great metaphor. And if we have time, I'm happy to share because I think it's super powerful. Yeah, oh, yeah. Dan has this great metaphor, he talks about the gap. And we live in the gap. And the way he describes it is take your three year old self back to the first time you were ever on a beach. And that's about the time in our life that we have enough awareness to realize that we can see the horizon of the ocean. So when you stand on the beach, you look out in the ocean. And when you're six feet tall, it's about six miles. So I guess when you're three, and you're three feet tall, maybe three miles, but you can see that there's an edge to the ocean. And then he Fast Forwards and he says, Okay, we know that the rest of our lives that there's this horizon, on the ocean. And then he uses the metaphor when we when we start to try and achieve and set goals. We naturally set our goals out on the horizon.

And then we get the boat and we start to sail towards our goal. And so we've we've put it out on the horizon, we start to sails sail towards it. And what happens when we're a mile or two miles away from that goal? What's our what's the view out of the front of the boat? The next horizon in the next horizon in the next horizon, the horizon never comes. And what happens is we finally get to the goal. But we've lost interest in that because we're still looking at the horizon which is still six miles away, because it's always going to be six miles away till we get to Europe, I guess. But, and what we fail to do is when we pass that original Milestone that original horizon we forget Get to turn around, look and see how far we've come. So he's, again, his mind map thinking exercises. When you pass that first horizon, just drop a buoy in the water. And then when you get to the next horizon, drop another buoy in the water, and everyone's he calls it the gap, we're always in the gap between the horizon and where the boat is. And it never changes because the horizon moves as we move forward. And his mindset is drop a buoy in the water when you when you pass those horizons.

And everyone saw on the boat, just stand up and turn around, take a look at the string of buoys. And that will ground you and help you understand that you've achieved along the way that that the discontent that you're still six miles away, you're always six miles away from the next horizon. If you can see the student buoys, then, you know, you feel better about about what you've accomplished and what you've passed.

And that one really sticks with me all the time. Because I, I'm guilty of living in the gap all the time, I'm never sad, like, I'm always setting new goals, I'm always seeing new horizons, and I forget a lot to stand up and turn around and look at the buoys in the water. That's, that's what kids are great for, you can you know, your kids become your, you know, your expression of your success, and you get to see them all the time and get reminded that it's not just about chasing the goals, or as so

Nik Tarascio

That's beautiful. Yeah. And I think that kind of brings me up to my last question for you, which is, you know, as a creative, and as someone who can create beautiful visions of what's possible, what do you you know, what's your dream beyond? What do you wake up dreaming about?

John Ratliff

So, you know, I'm a huge believer in in purpose, core values, kind of, you know, I really struggled for an incredibly long time to finding my purpose. And I always kind of knew, like, all of us know, like, sort of intuitively, what gets us excited, and what we're about and what we stand for what we stand against, but not many of us, in our researcher and in our world have really been able to, like, articulate it to a point where it's compelling. And I'm embarrassed to say, with all the, all the work that I do in this space, and you know, in helping entrepreneurs, I finally was able to distill my purpose in the phrase, and I'm literally talking about in the last month, two months, how amazing.

Yeah, I know, it's crazy. I'm 52. But my purpose is really to make the complex simple for entrepreneurs. So I always knew, because what happened early on, in those dark, lonely days, there were some people that showed up in my life, with with no stake in my outcome and paid it forward. I actually don't believe in the term give back. Because give back means you took something from someone and I think entrepreneurs create, they don't take but so that's a semantics thing for me, but I believe you can give forward when when someone's done something for you, propels you, then it's your responsibility to give forward someone else. So I always knew I wanted to live in service of entrepreneurs, because so many people came and gave forward to me.

But I wasn't totally clear. But now, I've got an ability to look at complex situations and things and explain them in a way that makes them make sense. And that's really my purpose for the entrepreneur that's struggling, and trying to figure it all out. If I can, if I can make it a little bit easier for them or a little simpler, explain things in a way that make a little bit more sense and have them go, Oh, I get that now. And here's how I can apply that then that, then that's a success for me. So that's, that's kind of my purpose. But But yeah, I want to be in service to I want to do for other entrepreneurs, what was done for me early on, and I believe really deeply that the middle market, the companies like Jairus, and the companies like ours, are the ones that make all the things in the world happen. They make a create seven out of 10 jobs. They create all the innovative, all the innovative stuff was in the Fortune 500, the global 1000 They all play an important role.

And, you know, we're on technology created by by that group and but it's the middle market that really kind of brings texture and I think the best things to life and the middle market is a bunch of crazy entrepreneurs that see gaps in the market and see mismatches in the world and are discontent with the status quo and wake up every day to make change. And yeah, do they, some of them get to participate along the way and have massive success and build wealth and everything else. Yes. But the wealth is an outcome, that creation is what we all get to benefit from. And if I can, if I can help that group in any way, even if it's one to one, then you know, that's a successful day for me. So

Nik Tarascio

that's beautiful. Well, from from the perspective of your purpose, I'll say you spent the last hour distilling down so many concepts to make it really simple. And I really hear that I really hear that aspect of it. And I don't want to overlook the fact that you're an incredible storyteller. I think that in many ways, you know, this stuff can sound boring, it can sound like a textbook. And when you tell it through your story, I think people can't help but find themselves on the edge of the seat going, like, holy shit, I just learned something. And I was entertained. And I was feeling not alone. So I think in many ways, the one of my favorite authors, Jamie Weil talks a lot about the idea that your purpose lives at the intersection of your trauma and your talent. And here's all these entrepreneurs wandering the world feeling alone. And it sounds like that's where you came from. And it seems like your mission is a lot of touching on that is I don't want people to feel alone in that space. And acknowledging that, man, that is a being an entrepreneur is a spiritual path, whether or not you mean it to be right, I really, really get that.

John Ratliff

Yeah, and the more that you can kind of open your mind to that. And and I think the more opportunity there is to, and that's how you build gratitude, kind of right in front of you, you don't have to chase stuff around. So I know it's a little woowoo deck and I was not like that for a really long time. And but when I was when I finally started to connect those dots, it was it was way more fun and and it kind of way less lonely and way less frustrating, then, it had been prior. So sure.

Nik Tarascio

Yeah, it's I'm, I'm again inspired. Even though I've heard that story before I hear it again. I'm like, man, it's such a it's such a beautiful, relatable experience. And I think it gives a lot of hope, even to me in this moment of like, I've had many of those moments, but it does give a lot of hope that there's a lot of people that can receive that help. And there's a lot of work to be done still. And that's partly why do the podcast, it's just a chance to say how do we tell the stories that can move people? Right, and that's the hope so hopefully, someone will hear and someone will be moved. And at least one person sends me a message about how your share moved them. I would just be like, yeah, man, I'm part of it. I'm part of it. I went from being a listener to a participant in your story.

John Ratliff

You know, it's fascinating say that, to that I just, I was I was with a group last week on a really cool trip that we go on every year. And it's a group of Changemaker entrepreneurs. And and there's this mindset, like, oh, I want to impact a million people or billion people. And I want to change the world. And I want to do like, all these grandiose things. I remember I asked someone on the trip, like, you know, who said, I want to, I want to impact a million people. And I was like, What's the magic about a million people? And we have this amazing conversation that what if you impact one person, and the ripple effect of that impacts? A million people, they impact another person. And their ripple effect is a million in this, this mindset that yeah, if you could just get to, like, if you could just move the needle one degree for one person use, you've made a change in the world.

And I think sometimes, and I know entrepreneurs that are discontented by the idea that they feel like they've only affected 100,000 and not a million, and I'm more about the one like if I can connect to one person and you know, kind of change one person's path. And I have faith that that changes everything, and the ripple effect of those actions, change everything. And we had lots of great discussions about that last week. So I appreciate you say one person reaches out and says that it was a success, because I feel the same way. So thanks for that. See, right? We create all these ripples, but we don't get to see their impact, and then we're discontented. But all this good was created. And sometimes you just have to trust to put it out there. If it meets one person that the one right point in time that it was a win.

Nik Tarascio

Yeah. And that's that's very much how I've been operating. And so I'll sum up what I think I heard today because there was so much amazing stuff in such a short amount of time we talked about, you know, three, three really important traits of entrepreneurs, creativity, optimism, being a lifelong learner and your perspective. Really being able to vision for the future, check out the OODA loop. I love the OODA Loop obviously also, as a pilot, you know, I'm really into depression, suicidal ideation, mental health in general, in this space, something that is completely overlooked still. And there's a lot of you know, I come from an industry where if you, God forbid, say you've struggled with mental health, you'll lose your license, like they'll take your license away depending on what it is.

So it's a lot of shaming and causing people to live in a prison of their own experience. And again, I also I read the gap in the game and you're telling about the buoy concept I did not get from the book. So I appreciate you saying it that way. And really, that taking that moment to turn around and go, well look how far I've come. I do think we often forget that. So, man, I really hope we get to talk more about these kinds of things soon. And yeah, this was just really beautiful. And hopefully, you're also moved by what John shared. Again, if one of you was please send me a message. I'll also let John know that we're affecting one person at a time. And that's really what it's about. And in the meantime, John has just launched the full circle mastermind, which you could check out full circle, m m.com. I'd also have to say Untethered Soul, check it out. If you don't know it, gap in the game, check it out. If you don't know it. John, are there any other things you want to recommend based on what we talked about?

John Ratliff

Yeah, I mean, for sure, if you just Google Oda loop, I mean, that's from a from a mindset kind of thinking methodology standpoint. I love it. Certainly Michael singer, and I actually believe that the Untethered Soul, excellent, but also the other book that Michael wrote, which is surrender experiment, that kind of tells a story of how he got to write Untethered Soul. And he actually wrote them in reverse order, but I really liked that book as well. And it's, it's, you know, and you can go see Michael singer actually, he's in I have been to his place that he talks about and surrender experiment three or four times out, and it's like west of Gainesville, in the middle of the woods, but and he Mondays and Thursdays I used to be I assume it still is, but you can actually go out there. And, you know, and see him in person that it was cool. I had the opportunity to tell them, hey, I read the I told him the story. I read the Untethered Soul. Here's what happened. And it's always nice to go back and tell someone Hey, you could always work into this. And here's how it impacted me. So. Oh, yeah, that I think you've covered it in it.

Nik Tarascio

That's incredible. And well, thank you so much for the work on your heart into it to you, for sure. Yeah, man. My pleasure. Like I said, I appreciate you putting the heart into it. And maybe next time you get down to see Michael Allah, I'll meet you down there or something like that. That's really lovely.

John Ratliff

Yeah, it's right into Gainesville. And then you drive 20 minutes to the middle of nowhere, and you're there. So yeah.

Nik Tarascio

Incredible. Well, thanks. Thanks again. I hope everyone was was moved and I hope you all have a lovely day. Thanks, man. Thank you for listening to the dream beyond. I hope that you received whatever message or inspiration you were meant to get from today's episode. I had a great time recording it for you. If you love the show, please take 30 seconds to subscribe rate and review it. That really helps get the word out. And if you want to connect with me, you can find me at

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