#the hargreeves siblings loving and supporting each other for infinity minutes

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Klaus, bouncing in covered in tinsel and feathers: How's the most beautiful person in the world doing today?

Luther, annihilating a punching bag: I don't know, how are you?

Diego, cleaning his knives: I don't know, how are you?

Allison, editing a script: I don't know, how are you?

Ben, watering some plants: I don't know, how are you?

Vanya, playing her violin: I don't know, how are you?

Klaus: *preening*

Five, reading a newspaper: I'm doing great thanks.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

*when the family drops Five off at school*

The Hargreeves: *all stuffed into one tiny car*

Five: *gets out and starts heading for the door*

Klaus: We love you, Five!

Five: I know, Klaus. See you Friday.

Diego: *turns on the sirens*

Five: *freezes*

Allison: You gotta say I love you back.

Five: Oh my god are you serious -

Ben: I wanna hear it.

Five: You wanna hear it -

Luther: I love you guys.

Five: Are you fucking kidding me -

Vanya: I love you guys.

Five: OH MY FUCKING GOD

Diego: Guys I love you.

Five: *seething*

The Hargreeves: *smiling innocently*

The intersection: *dead fucking silent*

Five:

Five:

Five:

Five: *sighs*

Five: Guys.

Five: I love you.

The Hargreeves: *beaming*

Five: *absolutely mortified and hopelessly endeared*

Dolores:

Five: Shut the fuck up.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Luther, who just mentioned John Lennon’s death to a very confused Klaus: How can he not know? Ben: LOOK AT THE BIRD! Klaus, beaming: *immediately starts looking around* Ben, leaning in to whisper: He doesn’t know because he has us. Allison: The Klaus Committee. Diego: The Committee exists to keep certain information away from Klaus. Luther, frowning: Like what? Five: Everything really. Vanya: Listen - this committee can’t protect him for the rest of his life. He’s getting too smart. Five, gesturing around the windowless, closed-door room they’re sitting in: He’s looking for a bird.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Klaus, standing in front of a burning building surrounded by screaming and running civilians with cocaine in his hair and thirty pounds of stolen jewels on him: I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life. The Hargreeves: *share a collective glance* Five: *nods* Diego: *steps forward* We know this, and we love you. Lila, whose hair is on fire: SERIOUSLY???!!!!

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Five Times Someone Mistook Klaus Or Diego For Five's Parents And One Time They Were Maybe Sorta Kinda Right

i know i use this gif a lot i just love it so much okay

ONE: Eudora Patch

Five shows up on a case of theirs. They’re scoping out Agnes’ donut shop for a drug deal of a local gang when Diego sees Five at the counter. The place is only supposed to have agents and in-the-know employees in it at the time, so despite knowing Five can handle himself, he approaches him to try to get him to leave. They get into a screaming match about Five’s capabilities until Patch pulls them outside, hissing that they’ll ruin the entire operation if they don’t shut up. Together, Diego and Patch manage to send Five away, though he pouts about it. As soon as he’s gone, Patch turns to Diego with her hands on her hips.

“You didn’t tell me you had a kid,” she says, her eyebrow raised. “Wanna explain?”

Diego’s eyes blow wide and he’s stuttering his way through a confused answer when the first gunshots sound and it begins.

(He never does get to explain.)

TWO: "Leonard Peabody"

Diego, Klaus, and Five are on a mission to figure out who the eye belongs to (well, Diego and Five are on a mission, Klaus is just following them around) when they run into Vanya and Leonard, who Five immediately hates. He’s hissing at him with that dangerous look in his eyes while Diego and Vanya argue and Klaus and Diego are holding hands. Eventually Klaus sighs, tugging Five back from Leonard and patting his head.

“Sorry,” he says with the fakest smile you ever did see. “Fivesy here’s just a bit distrusting of strangers, that’s all.”

(He neglects to mention that Five hates everybody, and for good reason.)

Leonard laughs nervously and offers a phony smile.

“It’s alright,” he says. “Seems like you’ve got a smart kid.”

Diego starts sputtering while Klaus bursts out laughing, Vanya joining in not long after while Five grumbles and tries not to commit homicide.

THREE: Sissy Cooper

When Five shows up at the farm, Vanya is too busy calming Sissy down to introduce him to her. Klaus shows up in that time, the others scrambling at his heels, and tugs Five into a hug, delighted he’s okay.

He’s fussing over Five still when Vanya introduces them to Sissy as her family, to which Sissy brightly replies, “I didn’t know you had brothers! Or a nephew, for that matter -”

Five chokes on his coffee while Klaus snickers into his hand, laughing when Diego pulls him into his side. Sissy’s brow furrows in confusion, but before she can ask any questions, Five’s rapid-firing about the apocalypse again and there’s no more time.

FOUR: Jill

Jill’s hanging out in the garden one day with Klaus when Diego shows up with Five at his heels, who runs straight up to Klaus and kicks him super hard in the shin and then starts yelling at him. Diego sighs, saluting Jill and offering Klaus a helpless smile.

“Can’t you text me a warning about this or something?” Klaus asks Diego over the head of a sputtering Five, forgetting there’s no cell phones in 1963, and Diego shrugs, leaning in to slip an arm around Klaus’ waist and peck him on the lips.

“Hey, he’s your kid,” Diego jokes, and Klaus snorts as Five turns red.

“Sir? You have a kid?” Jill asks, confused, and Klaus looks at her, sighs, and shakes his head.

“Later, Jill,” he promises, eyeing the blazing Five, and drags Diego and Five away by the hand. He’s gone within the hour.

(He never does explain.)

FIVE: Raymond Chestnut

After Allison says goodbye, Diego is there to pick her up. He shakes Ray’s hand, telling him he’s sorry, and Klaus pops into existence behind him with Five, scaring the fuck out of Ray. He leaps back against Allison, who laughs tearfully and kisses him one last time.

“Are we leaving or not, guys?” Five says, ever impatient, and Klaus clicks his tongue, patting Five on the head.

“Patience, little one,” he says, and tugs him to the car still bitching. Diego rolls his eyes, offering Ray an apologetic smile as he takes Allison’s arm.

“Kids, am I right?” Diego says. Ray nods distractedly, looking to Allison.

“Your family is fuckin’ confusing, babe,” he says, soft. “Didn’t know your nephew could just… go poof like that.”

Allison giggles, kissing him again, as Diego sighs, dragging a hand down his face. He’s too tired to explain. Allison is too sad. Five comes back up the steps with Klaus, who takes Diego’s hand with a nod.

“Bye, Ray,” Allison whispers, and in a flash of blue light, is gone.

Ray sighs.

ONE: Five Hargreeves

The Handler confronts them at Sissy’s farm, and Five is alone with Diego in front of her. She smiles her usual smarmy smile and threatens Diego’s life, prompting Five to step in front of him and hiss through gritted teeth with a finger pointed at her chest, “If you even breathe in my dad’s direction, I will fucking kill you.”

Diego raises his eyebrows, but takes Five’s hand and runs, no time left before the shooting starts as he shields Five’s body with his own. He passes him off to Klaus, who holds him close behind the tractor, pressing kisses to his head.

“You alright, little one?” he murmurs, and Five shivers, pressing his hands even harder against his ears.

“M-mom…” he stutters, and Klaus doesn’t hesitate even a moment before dragging him in and shushing him with soft words until Diego makes it to them, wrapping them both in his arms and kissing their heads.

“I love you,” he whispers, and is rewarded with Klaus’ blinding smile.

Five, of course, denies this ever happened, because obviously, it never did.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Klaus is shocked every time he hears one of his siblings spill out incredibly obscure details about drugs Klaus didn’t even know about until he was pretty deep in his shit. They know about every single drug there is, and every exact dose that is “acceptable” and fatal for someone of Klaus’ stature. Eventually he realizes that they know all these things because of him, for him, and he breaks down in tears.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

We do not talk nearly enough about Allison’s powers and their scope of influence and possibility.

Like, just think about what she could do for her family:

Ben

I heard a rumor you were alive again.

I heard a rumor that even if you weren’t, everyone could still hear and see and touch you.

I heard a rumor the Monster left and never hurt you.

Klaus

I heard a rumor you had never touched a drop of drugs or alcohol in your life.

I heard a rumor you were healthy again.

I heard a rumor you knew you were safe around the ghosts.

I heard a rumor you only saw ghosts when you wanted or needed to.

I heard a rumor you knew how much and how fiercely you are loved.

Luther

I heard a rumor your body was entirely your own again.

I heard a rumor you were happy with who you are, whether you're leader or not.

Diego

I heard a rumor you didn’t feel so guilty for all the people you couldn’t save.

I heard a rumor you had the courage to admit the feelings you wanted to.

I heard a rumor you didn't think about Dad every single time you made a choice.

I heard a rumor you didn’t have panic attacks anymore.

Five

I heard a rumor you were comfortable in your own body.

I heard a rumor you knew you were safe and loved and never, never alone.

I heard a rumor you could be yourself.

I heard a rumor you slept well for long enough.

Vanya

I heard a rumor you felt like you belonged with us (because you do).

I heard a rumor you could control your powers.

I heard a rumor you were comfortable with who you are.

Fuckwad I Mean Reginald

I heard a rumor you forgot about us.

(All the Hargreeves children: *leave*)

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

the Hargreeves go shopping

Diego: Why are you taking us to the mall

Five: Yeah the mall is so dumb

Klaus: *shoves them into a Hot Topic*

Diego and Five: 😍😍😍

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Five is touch-starved. He doesn’t know how to deal with this, so he just ignores it. It’s not until the world is saved that Klaus starts touching him all the time, just grabbing his hand and kissing his face and hugging him too tightly, the rest of their siblings following suit. And Five can’t fucking breathe, man. He doesn’t remember how to not fall apart whenever fingers graze his skin.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

The Hargreeves siblings have a habit of listening to police scanners for reports about each other. They hear about dead junkies and think of Klaus. They hear about arrested vigilantes and think of Diego. They hear about assaulted women and think of Allison and Vanya. They hear about missing kids and think about Five. They hear about underground fight clubs and think of Luther. They keep an ear out for each other even if they can’t stand to see each other. They’re not sure whether it helps or not.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Five likes Garfield. He relates to him. Similarly, Klaus enjoys Calvin & Hobbes. When they start to act like their favorite characters, however, this begins to become a problem.

Diego: Klaus. Get out of there.

Klaus, in a cupboard in a tiger onesie: No Gogo. I am one with the night.

Luther: *opens up a cabinet*

Five, hunched over what used to be a jar of cookies: *hisses*

Allison, shielding Vanya’s eyes from the terrifying snowmen littering their living room: This has got to stop.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

The Hargreeves all make a point of defending Diego’s stutter. It’s a part of him, and they love him, all of him. And anyone who has anything to say about that can just FUCK RIGHT OFF -

lin dee-dee i love you so much -

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

How each of the Hargreeves siblings came out (they’re all queer don’t argue with me)

Five: he/him (trans), asexual aromantic

Five has been adamant about being a boy since age three. Reginald hated this, persistently calling Five by female pronouns, but he remained defiant and his siblings backed him up. Reginald never referred to him as a son over a daughter, even though Grace, an all-knowing robot who could only see logic and facts, called Five a boy the moment they were introduced.

My girlfriend would like to add that Five is the only sibling who didn't choose a name because he didn't want a girl's name.

As for his sexuality, Five’s only true emotional “romantic” connection was to a mannequin named Dolores. Nobody really needed him to explain that. But he one day does explain to his family that they’re really the only connections he needs - he calls them his “queerplatonic partners”, explaining that that basically means he considers them partners, in every sense of the word except romantic and sexual. He’s never explicit about it, but the others soon come to realize that he holds Klaus and Diego closer than the others, though even Five doesn’t seem to know why.

Klaus: he/they/she (genderfluid), gay / pansexual

He starts wearing dresses when he’s ten-ish. His siblings don’t want to misgender him, because they already know how much Five struggles, so they start to refer to him as “they”, which he doesn’t seem to mind. Eventually Diego is brave enough to ask, to which Klaus responds that he doesn’t really care.

Klaus has been kissing anything that breathes since he first deciding kissing wasn’t all that disgusting. He prefers boys, obviously, but really he’s down for just about anything. And he didn’t really come out, he just kind of… opened his mouth.

Vanya: she/her, lesbian

She represses it so far down she can barely feel it by the time she’s eighteen. Dating men she knows it won’t work out with is just the next step in her compulsory heterosexuality. She’s not sure why she’s so afraid of anyone finding out, especially since her siblings have always been more than supportive of each other. Eventually, after losing Sissy, she chooses to tell her siblings how she felt about her. They accept her with open arms (and, in Klaus’ case, a lot of glitter).

Diego: he/him, bisexual

Diego has never cared much about romance. He wants it as much as anybody, sure, but with his life, it’s never been a priority. Still, he read plenty of comic books in his fucked-up childhood, and even a himbo like Diego could figure out what it meant that he found Captain America just as hot as Black Widow. As for how he told his siblings, well… he just kind of picked up on Klaus’ habit of flirting with anything that moved. (He especially hits it off with bartenders.)

Allison: she/her, pansexual

Her coming out was louder than expected. Long story short, she developed major crushes on Cinderella and Belle and started talking about liking girls with Klaus and Diego (the only two who were already out). (Vanya used to hang out in the background, which confused Allison then but makes way more sense now.) But when Reginald caught wift of these talks, he confronted Allison over dinner, where he again referred to Five as a girl. And Allison, well… Allison kind of lost her shit. (She blacked out during it, but her siblings tell her she screamed arguments for equal rights at him until her voice was hoarse and she had run out of cuss words.)

Luther: he/him, bisexual

He found Klaus’ stash of indecent magazines. He knew what it meant, to love every body in there. But he’s not gonna talk about it. He’s not gonna think about it. If he doesn’t feel it, it doesn’t exist. Besides, it’s not like anyone will ever love him anyway, right? (He’s never coming out. Let him die in the closet in peace.)

Ben: he/him, asexual panromantic

Ben died before he could figure it out. But travelling around with Klaus, he met all sorts of people. And they were all intoxicating and beautiful and interesting, just like Klaus. And Ben got to wondering what it’d be like to kiss those people if he had a real mouth. And he came to terms with the fact that he was anything but straight, leading to his confession to Klaus, who simply smiled and cracked a joke about there being no straight Hargreeves left.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Five takes his siblings on time trips sometimes after 1963. He limits them to ONE hour, and they MUST stay out of any major historical matters, but he makes sure Vanya and Allison can visit Sissy and Ray respectively, and Klaus can see Dave, even if just for a brief time. Diego tends to travel with Klaus and Ben, and Luther heads to Ray’s with Allison. Five, meanwhile, pops around with whichever of his siblings he pleases, happy to just let them be happy. It’s nice to finally be using his power for something wonderful.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Diego: When you die, will you be able to see your own ghost?

Klaus: Diego it’s ten a.m. go back to sleep.

*ten minutes later*

Five: *popping up from the seven-person cuddle pile* Shit but will you???

Ben: *giggling like a banshee*

Klaus: *screams into his pillow*

Diego: Can you not scream into my chest please?

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Five, completely drunk and walking around the room to cuddle his entire family one or two at a time because let’s be honest Five Hargreeves turns into an absolute koala when drunk and there’s nothing you can do about it: I’ll be sappy whenever I want. I don’t give a shit. I love you. Fuck off.

The Hargreeves: *melting*