#the hardest part of writing this was coming to terms with the fact that there would in fact be no plot

[2manyfandoms2count]

Back to Life (Back to Reality)

Toxinelle and Griffe Noire really have been living in my head rent free for the past week, I just think they're extremely interesting characters 👀 This is more of a character study than an actual fic with a plot, I wanted to get into Toxinelle's head! Maybe I'll revisit their world at some point, I do think it's quite cool to not have a lot of knowledge of what's going on in their world, it's that much more intriguing...

Hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3

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Back to Life (Back to Reality)

Although the world they entered was the same they’d left behind, crumbling buildings lining the streets she and Griffe Noire had targeted time and time again in their quest to retrieve the Butterfly Miraculous, Toxinelle couldn’t help but notice that it didn’t look quite as hopeless as it had when they’d left it. The rising sun, which only a short time ago she might’ve found obnoxiously bright, pleasantly warmed her cheeks as she came to a halt next to a beaming Hesperia. 

“It’s been an eventful night, hasn’t it?” he commented once Ubiquity landed at his side, the glow of her power receding to reveal Alya Césaire. 

If she’s the other Marinette’s best friend, she can’t be that bad, Toxinelle thought, already considering a strategy to get closer to her at school. 

“I suggest we all take a little time to process what’s happened, and regroup later.” Hesperia smiled, interrupting her mental meanderings before she could overthink anything. “You know where to find us, take your time.” Watching him, Toxinelle found herself realising that she’d never realised how approachable he looked, unlike most adults in her life. And if the other Marinette’s world had seemed better in many ways, she really didn’t envy her for the presence of Monarque in her life; she wasn’t sure who of him or the Supreme was worse, but she liked the idea that she’d have a heroic adult on her side to fight for a better world.

Hesperia extended his hand, a gesture that made Toxinelle realise she was still holding Griffe Noire’s. She cleared her throat as she let go of it, before shaking her ex-opponent’s, who then turned towards her partner— no, that didn’t sound right, was it teammate, that the other Marinette used as a term?… It was probably more accurate. Had somebody asked her earlier that day, she might’ve described their relationship as one of “reluctant allies”, but there had been a shift in their dynamic from the moment they’d positioned themselves against the Supreme, which would have to draw them closer. 

At least she hoped so— it was one thing considering going against him as a team, an entirely different one to face him on her own. She didn’t think she was strong enough for it; not physically, the newfound feeling of health she’d retrieved from the other timeline being just a flicker next to the flame she’d once possessed, before it had all started, but least of all mentally. Not now, anyway.

“See you soon,” the man said, waving as he and his ally made their way back to their base. 

Just like that, Toxinelle found herself standing alone with Griffe Noire in the empty street.

“Bed–, I mean, um… Ladybug? Is that really what I’m supposed to call you now?” the tomcat raised an eyebrow.

“What about you? Have you landed on a good name?” she parried. 

“Hey, at least I was creative with mine, you’re just a– a copycat!” He pointed at her, laughing. It was the first time she heard him laugh genuinely, and she had to admit, it sounded pretty good.

Toxinelle stuck out her tongue at him, hoping it would distract from the blush creeping up her cheeks. She wasn’t entirely sure, but something told her that the thick layer of pale foundation she conscientiously applied every day, and which had until then stuck through her transformation, hadn’t made it back from their journey to the other world. 

“Anyway, what?” she asked rather abruptly, out of habit. She didn’t like that her sharp tone was coming back so quickly. She winced, and quickly added, more softly: “did you want to say?”

“Oh, er, well, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to meet up at some point? To discuss… this.” He gestured vaguely at their surroundings.

Toxinelle thought about what awaited her at home, and the panic that started washing over her made her feel like she was already losing grip on the thin thread of hope the other Marinette had started weaving for her.

“How about now?” she blurted out.

Griffe Noire was speechless for a second, but quickly pulled himself back together with a smirk. “Well, well, well,” he said, “look who can’t get enough of Adrien Agreste now.”

Toxinelle rolled her eyes, feeling her cheeks heat up again. “For someone who’s so gloomy and silent without a mask, you sure are chatty with one on,” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

Griffe Noire paled (she noticed now that his make-up had gone during his costume change, too; his complexion was quite nice when it wasn’t painted over) and he cleared his throat. “As if you don’t change your attitude either.”

“I’m sorry, how do you know me again, exactly?” She quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re my baker girl.” He shrugged, looking down and kicking a stray pebble. “I mean, not my baker girl, more like, the baker girl. Or whatever,” he mumbled quickly, blushing.

Toxinelle frowned, racking her brain to remember meeting him. Even without being a fan, she’d still recall serving the famous Adrien Agreste. She probably even would’ve been annoyed by his presence, knowing it would probably bring more people to the bakery, not to buy, but to stalk around in the hope of catching a glimpse of him. People could be so shallow. “You’ve never come inside the shop, though, have you?”

“No,” he admitted. “My bodyguard gets my chouquettes for me.”

“Wow, so you’re really that famous person.” She rolled her eyes.

“Hey, I’d like to see you face crazed fans any time you set foot outside.”

“Not likely to happen.” She walked away. If she shared an interest in fashion with the other Marinette, she clearly didn’t have the same support, or even the same time to dedicate to what she could only describe as her hobby, rather than a more serious career aspiration. And if she didn’t get the practice now… well, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get around to it.

“It’s always you, serving clients at the bakery. Never your parents,” he called out after her.

She turned back towards him, guarded. If he’d noticed that much from just waiting around in a car, who knew what else he’d noticed. “They’re very busy people.”

“And you’re still in school. And a Miraculous holder, even if I guess they don’t know about that. That’s one thing my dad is incredibly annoying about: making sure I don’t overdo it in modelling hours because “I need to lead a normal life”.” Griffe Noire air quoted.

“It’s nice that he cares, though,” Toxinelle let out with a sigh. 

“It’s exhausting, he’s positive all the time .” Griffe Noire threw his hands up. “It’s unnatural, if you ask me.” 

“Oh boo-hoo. He should meet my mother, nothing’s ever good enough for her,” she muttered, immediately regretting her words and the can of worms it might open.

There was a beat of silence, which felt unbearable to her, before Griffe Noire cautiously asked: “Want to talk about it?”

She considered her answer carefully. On the one hand, something told her that talking about what she was going through, the constant pressure of life at home, in some ways feeling more isolated in what should be the comfort of home, never being able to rely on anyone, might help her. Talking to the other Marinette had made some things click inside of her, after all. On the other hand, as much as she wanted to trust that Griffe Noire wasn’t going anywhere, she was afraid to crack the door open if it would just come back slamming I’m her face.

“Not now, if that’s okay,” she finally said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“I’ll be there when you’re ready.” Griffe Noire nodded. “You know where to find me. If you still want to talk, that is, if you want to be my…” he trailed off, as if looking for the right word.

“Friend?” she suggested, holding out her hand.

“Friend,” he repeated, shaking it, as if tasting the word. His face lit up with a bright smile.

His baton beeped just then, and he looked at her sheepishly. “I think that’s my cue to leave. I’m going to be late for dinner with my father— another thing he’s very peculiar about. But we’ll have to meet again, we didn’t get to discuss our whole situation with the Supreme, Hesperia and everything.” 

“It’s alright, we can set out another moment when I bring you your chouquettes tomorrow.” She smiled.

“Are you really going to turn me into the type of famous person who gets them delivered directly to the window of their car? I would’ve thought you’d despise that.” He winked.

“It’s fine if I’m the one who suggests it.” She laughed. 

“Aright, then, looking forward to it.” He bowed. “See you tomorrow, Bug.”

Toxinelle had to admit that she could hardly wait.

[liam-bean]

💔

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

On David Tennant and Aging

So, I’ve seen a lot of posts in response to Tumblr users’ habit of affectionately calling their favorite middle aged dudes “old men”, David Tennant in particular, saying things like “clearly you’ve never met an actual old person”, “omg you talk about these guys like they’re 80”, “please be normal about people aging”, etc. And on one hand, all of these statements are objectively right and true! But as someone who’s always been really fascinated by and found a lot of beauty in getting older (which I’ve explored in some of my writing on A03 because nobody else is going to do it for me), I’d like to provide a bit more nuance on how I think this label applies to David in particular.

David, obviously, in literal terms, is not “old”, at least not to me- I don’t personally consider people old until they get past 60. 52 is middle aged, simple as that. And yet, when I see David stuck with the “old man” label, it still somehow feels weirdly right, for a number of reasons.

It annoys me so much when people say David “hasn’t aged a day since Doctor Who”, because, well…

He clearly has. A lot. He’s got forehead creases, deep crows’ feet and eyebags, and I think that post-Fourteen we’re gonna see him rocking the grey temples a LOT more. He also has the voice of an older man now, his upper range is still there but the default is much more deep and rich, with a gravelly, rumbling quality that just goes straight through you. I personally think Broadchurch was when David finally started to embrace looking his age- Alec Hardy just wouldn’t have been served by Ten’s fresh-faced boyishness.

Obviously, these are the kinds of changes you’d expect any 52-year-old man to have, but something about David just makes it all seem a bit more… intense? The expressiveness of his face combined with his almost gaunt frame makes his wrinkles very prominent, and when he works his voice to its emotional extremes, his lower register can sound positively ancient, to devastating effect.

David, I think, is someone with an old soul- I don’t think he could be as good as he is at playing ancient characters like Crowley and The Doctor if he weren’t. He has lived so many lives, given so much of himself to so many characters, often incredibly tragic ones, and I think it wears on him. David also has five kids. FIVE. Do you know how exhausting it is to be one of the hardest working actors alive and be a present, loving father to even ONE child? But David somehow does it anyway! Nowadays I see him and my heart breaks because he looks so tired, so weary and fragile. But he’s all the more beautiful for it to me because I know that that is because he is kind. He’s a deeply empathetic person who feels and lives to the absolute fullest, and that story is written so clearly on his face, along with every other story he has ever been a part of.

There’s other things about David that make the label endearingly fitting- his utter hopelessness when it comes to technology, for instance. And he’s just got that warm, wise, grandpa energy too sometimes- look at that above Fourteen picture and tell me I’m wrong!

I once showed my friend who’d only seen David in Doctor Who and Harry Potter a picture of David from Around The World in 80 Days. It was a particularly emotional scene, and his face had just the most beautiful expression of compassion and sadness, every wrinkle on full display. And she said, in a less than complimentary fashion, “he looks so old!” Which, of course, offended me quite a bit at first. But to me, referring to David as old almost feels like a badge of honor, something he’s earned by living fully and selflessly, working hard and being wise and compassionate beyond his years. I think David himself is secretly more than a little insecure about the fact that he’s getting older. There’s sadness behind every jovially self-depreciating remark he’s made about his age in the past year, particularly in comparing himself to Ncuti Gatwa. I know how much David struggles with his impostor syndrome and how people perceive him, and I can clearly see in his eyes the fear of being discarded, the anxiety he feels about if he’ll still be as loved as he was back in 2007 now that he’s closer in age to King Lear than he is to Romeo. So I hope David knows it’s a privilege to watch him grow older, to watch his soul and talents deepen with the crinkles around his eyes. If I, in my silly goofy tumblr girl-ness, call David Tennant an old man, it’s because it’s a label that suits him beautifully- even if it isn’t TECHNICALLY an accurate one yet.

[signedkoko]

Hello!

Could you write some romantic headcanons for Valentino with a fem reader who's an overlord, and is either equally as powerful as him or more? I would love to see the dynamic, because we know how he treats his employees, but I'm interested in how he would act with someone who's "higher class" (would he see her as equal, treat her with more respect ect.).

Btw, I love your works. Your writing style is amazing.

Have a nice day/night <3

Valentino X Reader [Romantic]

In which you are one of the strongest overlords, and you far outpower all the V's combined. Reader is female.

When you first met, it was a very back-and-forth relationship

Always nitpicking each other, bickering a ton, and making jokes at the others expense

This was mostly at meetings or at public events, but for the most part, Valentino never bothered to know more about you

Vox was a good friend of yours, though, so he always saw you in a positive light on social media or television

Slowly, Valentino had to come to terms with the fact that you were extremely well known, as you'd taken down many overlords who crossed you without so much as a scratch

In all honesty, he's quite the coward, so he tries to avoid you as much as Vox and Velvette invite you into their lives

The fact that anyone, let alone a woman, is more powerful than him? Its infruiating

Mostly because it hurts his masculinity, what little is left of it

While normally your strength would be worth exploiting, Velvette and Vox being so attached meant he was forced to respect you

Forced is the key word because he never respects anyone besides himself, which makes it way harder to be around you, though his awkwardness is what really reels you in

You two have a lot in common: you get what you want when you want it; the only difference is that you are independent and do everything on your own

Valentino preferred to have others do the dirty work for him, so you always laughed at how prissy he was

He probably smokes a lot more after being around you because it stresses him out

He's not worried about you, no, mostly himself; you are certainly a handful, and wherever you go, you take over the whole room

Valentino is influenced by your presence, which is noticeable to everyone around him

He is less hot-headed, less likely to lash out, and less likely to manipulate anyone into doing his bidding

It is almost as if he is trying to impress you further by being independent himself, as hard as it is for him

You know this; it's very blatant, but honestly, it's so cute seeing him try to act so big and bad when he's like a mutt next to you

Valentino idolizes you in your relationship; you are an icon that he must protect

He will go to extreme lengths for you

This stupid overlord will still bicker with you, but he will leave any prods towards you out of it and will only get huffy if you start insulting him too much

Author's Note - Honestly surprised I got requested Valentino but also excited! He is such a dynamic character, defo one of my hardest to write. I also can't wait to do Velvette! Thank you for requenting 🖤

[project-sekai-facts]

do u think prsk writing is good?

it's inconsistent. sometimes it's pretty good, sometimes it's not so good. this is something i would like to go way more indepth on but i don't think i'll have the time for a while, but i'll outline a few things here.

honestly early events are much stronger than some more recent ones. partially this is preference on my part due to preferring more character driven stuff which most early events were, but also in general the writing was much higher quality.

most year one events had a very strong sense of flow between them that has been lost over time. while events usually revolved around one character's issues, they would introduce aspects of the other characters and their issues which would be focused on later. if you read wonder halloween you'll notice there's foreshadowing for emu's arc across smile of dreamer and wonder magical showtime. this is partially because of the fact the events were so early on. we weren't as familiar with the characters as we are now and we were also new to the plots. you can also see how much more cohesive stories were back then as well because of there being way more mixed events marked as key story, like twilight parade and sakura for ln and picnic for n25. while most events still pick up from where the previous left off the sense of flow for most units just isn't felt as strongly as it was going through, say, l/n arc 1.

it also in some ways feels like the writers had a much stronger vision for early events than they do now, though distribution meta may come into play a bit. first arcs were the ones planned from the getgo. this is what they had already planned ahead for by launch. pretty much everything past year 1 was written after the game launched. we know they have a clear end, and it's evident they also had a clear start. we're currently filling in the middle and some events really feel like there's a slight lack of vision for the middle. vbs is a good aversion what with rad weekend having happened (aside from arata and souma's arcs lmfao), but other units and characters feel shafted.

to add to that last point as well as distribution meta. tsukasa5 is arguably one of the hardest hit. what seems to have happened is that they needed a second wxs event to focus on daigo's troupe, and tsukasa is the character who is most fitting for that troupe's speciality. unfortunately in order to come up with the actual plot, they had to retcon elements of tsukasa's character. tsukasa5 overall is probably one of the worst written of the recent events. it's really rough and doesn't make sense in some parts. it truly just exists bc they needed a wxs event with daigo and a wxs event in that slot.

kanade is another character who got hit hard. while she had the white day event in 2024, she was heavily shafted in terms of n25's story due to the focus being on mizuki and ena for half the year. mafuyu and ena's events were also very focused on them as individuals, leading to kanade getting like no character development for a year.

for non-2024 examples the 2nd arc enders were a mixed bag. step by step is very clearly a shoe-in because they needed to pad for time. retie functions perfectly well as an arc ender and reads like one in a few places, especially near the end. while minori had some good moments in this event it honestly feels like a mixed event. hell look at the banner card. shizuku and airi are also only in this event for a few lines of dialogue it's really rough.

oyf is incredibly rushed and tries to wrap up way too many loose ends from lutf. it feels like this arc was cut short, and you can really feel it in arc 3 when all the loose ends that still existed after oyf get their proper conclusion. side characters barring kotaro excluded, tatsuya and gurney flap had the shittest resolutions ever (tatsuya is also. barely a character lol). kohane had some good moments here, but other than that it was a really weak event.

same can be said for ohe they really needed more time and it's painfully obvious considering how much foreshadowing they did with rui only for... him to get one chapter in an emu event. there's some other things that really make this feel like it was meant to be rui or be two events one rui one emu, like the travelling troupe show. remember when rui wrote that show about his life and wxs rewrote it to show him he had a place with them. clpl doesn't. obviously it's always been important to all of them but it's significance to rui specifically has always been highlighted for obvious reasons. hell it was even mentioned in wxs first live like a couple weeks before this event dropped. while again this has good emu moments and good wxs moments it's painfully obvious at points that this was either a rui focus at one point or they combined two events. i wonder if part of the reason for that is because they realised that rui graduates at the end of the next arc so "wxs disbandment arc 2" (tentative name) will probably be more centered around him, especially with asahi's return looming over the story, and they didn't wanna make it seem like they did the same character arc with him twice.

sayonara persona and starry song are fine.

clpl really fucked themselves over with wles and the event schedule lol.

another issue with the writing from a technical standpoint is that recent events have really obnoxious exposition. listen i know we all make fun of people who only read chapter 1 and 8 of an event but did you know that actually works. you can sometimes even just read chapter 8. there's this need to constantly remind the player of stuff that happened earlier on in the event, sometimes in gratuitous detail, and i can understand why this might be necessary for the really long events like lutf or curtain call, but most events since 3rd anni have been under 1hr 30, in most cases just over an hour. the player can retain significant events that happened in the previous chapter. we don't need it constantly explained and it can actually make the audience less engaged if you constantly treat them like they don't understand what's going on. even for a game aimed at the tween/teen demographic you don't need to handhold them through the story. while yes younger audiences won't have the same literacy as an adult you should also trust that they can follow the basic story and read into basic subtext (honestly prsk is usually fine with subtext this is just an example).

"outline a few things" my ass this is pretty much everything i wanted to say. i do games writing next year and i think we cover VNs so maybe i can provide more insight then if the blog isn't dead.

(obligatory i'm not saying you can't like the events i outlined here i'm just saying that from an objective standpoint they're not the best. doesn't mean you can't find enjoyment in them. like whatever you want i'm not here to dictate your opinions)

[pawnshopbleus]

Red-eye

Pilot!Abby Anderson x Flight Attendant!Fem!Reader

Contains - light homophobia, some bad words, angst, hurt, comfort, threats, Abby being a good wife, not beta read

Summary - After a horrible encounter with a passenger, Abby helps you feel better.

Authors note - beware, this is my first time writing in months.

Being a flight attendant wasn’t a part of your original plan after college, but it provided you with a lot of amazing opportunities. You got to travel the world, meet new people, hear different languages, and experience rich cultures, and you got paid for it. Being a flight attendant is also how you met your wife of three years, Abby Anderson, who was currently navigating the aircraft. You loved your job, but sometimes passengers could be difficult.

Like the man that you were currently helping. First-class passengers tend to be rich and snobby assholes, but this man was on another level. After one too many complimentary glasses of red wine, he began inquiring about the wedding ring on your finger. Once you mentioned the fact that you had a wife he demanded to be served by a different flight attendant. You would have happily complied with his requests if it wasn’t for his homophobic rhetoric.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to stop,” you said. Your tone was affirmative, but a bit shaky. This wasn’t the first time someone had been openly homophobic towards you, but you always had Abby by your side. Now, she was in the cockpit doing her pilot duties so you had to deal with this on your own.

“I’m not listening to some…” You tried your hardest to drown out the sound of him calling you a slur, but your attempt failed.

There was a collective gasp from the people in first class. They had abandoned all hopes of sleep once the drunken man started his monologue. Even though there were passengers listening, no one dared to say anything.

With teary eyes, you left the scene, finding solace in the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your makeup was ruined, your eyes were red from crying, and your cheeks were stained with tears. It took you a long time to come to terms with your sexuality. You were proud to be a lesbian, but people like that man made you regret ever coming out of the closet.

There was a knock at the bathroom door. “I’ll be out in a minute,” you sighed. You grabbed a tissue from the roll and dabbed it on your cheeks, trying your best to look as presentable as possible.

“Honey, it’s me.” It was Abby’s sweet voice on the other side of the door. Hearing her voice puts you at ease.

“Can I come in?” Abby asked.

You opened the door immediately. Nosy passengers watched the scene with confusion. The pilot of the plane going into the bathroom with a flight attendant was not something one saw every day, but you didn’t care. You closed the door behind Abby and sighed into her embrace.

The bathroom was small and compact, causing you to be pressed so close to Abby. She wrapped her arms around you and kissed your forehead. She began to pet your head as you began to break down in her embrace.

“I heard what happened,” Abby said without further need to elaborate. Of course, she knew already. Word travels fast in a metal tube in the sky. “Want me to punch him?”

You chuckle, “No, I wouldn’t want you to lose your job. We have a mortgage to pay.”

You can feel Abby’s wedding ring lightly scrape against your scalp, causing shivers to crawl down your spine.

“I wish I could defend myself, but I didn’t know what to say. He called me a-a,” you couldn’t even utter the wretched word that the man dared to call you.

Abby placed her index finger on your lips, shushing you. “It’s okay,” she said, “no one will ever call you that ever again. I’ll make sure of it.” You place your hand on Abby’s cheek and she jumps a little bit, her warm skin is not prepared for your cold hand. You look into her eyes and your heart tugs a little bit. You cannot believe that you were lucky enough to find the perfect woman. Abby was everything you looked for in a partner. She was kind, caring, and supportive. Not to mention she was the prettiest woman on earth.

Abby’s hands slide down to the place just above your ass. “Are you going to keep staring into my eyes or are you going to kiss me?” she huffs.

You smirk and give the woman what she wants. Your lips come in contact with hers, kissing her with fervor. Your lips move in rhythm with hers. Your hands that were once on Abby’s cheeks found themselves on her strong biceps. Abby’s hands began to slide down lower when there was a knock at the door. Abby squeezed your hips and let out a sigh of frustration.

“Seat one b has requested a Pinot Noir and you’re the only one who can reach the bottle,” Dina, a fellow flight attendant said from the other side of the door.

You hide your face in Abby’s chest and say, “I’ll be out in a minute.” Both you and Abby check yourselves in the mirror, making sure that the two of you look presentable.

“Feeling better?” Abby inquired, placing a hand on your shoulder and looking into your eyes.

You nod your head and let out a breath, preparing yourself to go back out. You open the door and you're met with a handful of eyes staring at you as you and Abby exit the bathroom. You smile at the curious people and continue your flight attendant duties.

Abby, on the other hand, walks all the way to first class, finds the man who was tormenting you and whispers into his ear. “If I hear you say another fucking thing about my wife I’ll cut your dick off and make you eat it.” She then pats him on the back and returns to the cockpit, leaving the homophobic man speechless.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

ByCarly Cassella

Fatigue is one of the most frequent and debilitating symptoms of long COVID, and yet it is also one of the hardest to measure objectively.

A new study suggests the extreme mental and physical fatigue experienced by many long COVID patients is, in fact, observable in the central nervous system.

Scanning the brains of 127 long COVID patients, scientists found some parts of the brain were communicating with others in a slightly altered way.

These regions include the frontal lobe, the temporal lobe, and the cerebellum, and while it's not clear how long the changes might last, the pattern could be used to identify those battling ongoing fatigue.

"These findings suggest a role of central nervous system involvement in the pathophysiology of fatigue in post-COVID syndrome," write researchers at the Complutense University of Madrid in Spain.

"The existence of several brain characteristics associated with fatigue severity detected by magnetic resonance imaging could constitute a neuroimaging biomarker to objectively evaluate this symptom in clinical trials."

The frontal lobe is the part of the brain associated with higher executive functions, like planning, reasoning, and problem solving. Meanwhile, the temporal lobe is associated with memory and processing, and the cerebellum is linked to movement, posture, and balance.

All three areas have previously shown changes in connectivity among patients with chronic fatigue syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME).

CFS/ME comes with many of the same symptoms as long COVID; however, it remains unclear how the two illnesses relate.

Recent findings suggest brain changes associated with long COVID mirror those of CFS/ME, but further research using larger and more diverse sample sizes is needed.

The new study on long COVID, led by neuropsychologist Maria Diez-Cirarda, does not consider CFS/ME, but it analyzes the brain scans of 127 people who had contracted SARS-CoV-2 at least three months before. Around 74 percent of participants were female, and most had only been sick with COVID-19 once.

Roughly 87 percent reported symptoms of global fatigue, including physical or mental fatigue, and 86 percent said they were suffering from cognitive complaints, like memory, attention, or processing issues.

Ultimately, those with global fatigue, physical fatigue, or cognitive complaints showed reduced connectivity between the frontal and occipital brain regions. They also showed increased connectivity between the cerebellar and temporal areas.

Mental fatigue, however, stood out. It was associated with distinct changes in the left prefrontal areas, the anterior cingulate, and the left insula – the central hubs of a known mental fatigue network.

Changes to white matter were also found in the brains of long COVID patients with lingering fatigue. White matter contains the nerve fibers that connect neurons, and these are covered in white sheaths, which protect and allow messages to be sent faster.

In long COVID patients, the recent study suggests that physical and mental fatigue is "partly related to several microstructural changes, including demyelination."

Demyelination is when the insulating sheath that protects neurons and transmits electrical signals is damaged, resulting in reduced functionality, such as muscle weakness, blurry vision, or slurred speech.

Interestingly, the current brain study found no changes in gray matter, which contains the bodies of neurons. Previous studies have shown reduced gray matter in COVID patients, but this shrinkage was recorded during or shortly after an infection, and it may not last over the longer term.

Given how malleable the brain can be, it's important that future studies investigate the changes of long COVID over greater lengths of time. Further research could also investigate how fatigue due to long COVID compares to other conditions, like ME/CFS or multiple sclerosis.

"The involvement of the central nervous system in the pathophysiology of fatigue in post-COVID syndrome paves the way for the use of non-invasive brain stimulation techniques to alleviate fatigue in these patients," the researchers conclude.

The study was published in Psychiatry Research.

Study Link: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165178124003986?via%3Dihub

[jokobub]

The Great Thing About HNKNA Being An Otome Game

I had an epiphany a few months ago. I’ve talked before about how many pitfalls HNKNA experiences by nature of it being a dating simulator, and how a lot of the cooler parts of the story and lore are overshadowed by the core romance mechanic and how I’m not a big fan of it, blah blah. But I’ve also seen way too many modern Alice in Wonderland adaptations as a result of my ridiculously long-term Kuni no Alice hyperfixation, and allow me to say that there is one thing that it nails that nothing else can even come close to touching— Alice herself!

The Kuni no Alice series brings about what I think is the best modern interpretation of Alice I’ve yet to see in any media I’ve consumed. She’s quick-witted and brings the attitude, but she cares. Her reactions are realistically absurd and there are few moments throughout everything where she feels out of character or unrelatable. And I think the otome genre is crucial to why that is.

By nature, dating simulators don’t have strong protagonists. They’re supposed to be a blank canvas for the player to project onto to achieve their goals. Am I calling Alice flat? No, quite the opposite. Her story is set in a Victorian-inspired fantasy land with lots of guns and danger and a strict social structure, but it’s intended for a modern audience, and when connection with your protagonist is the key to connection with your story, a modern audience means a modern Alice.

The modern Alice is one of the hardest characters to write.

In most instances of an adapted, cool, edgy Alice in Wonderland, the most insufferable character on screen is, in fact, Alice. This is true of the Disney films, SyFy’s Alice special, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, etc. More often than not, Alice Kingsleigh, Hamilton, whatever you want to call her, is a young adult frustrated by life in an oppressive society who will only accept her if she acts in a hyper-specific way, usually at the risk of being institutionalized should she fail to comply. She argues with her parents, who want her to get married, and all of this turns her into a spiteful girl who is always on the defensive.

It’s insufferable to watch.

The character of Alice is too often portrayed as relentlessly mean, but under the guise of empowerment. The audience is tired of weak-willed women, so the director hunches Alice’s dress up passed her ankles and gives her a sword, an attitude, and an ugly man to kiss without her parents’ involvement. Biologically engineered to shatter every well-known gender role established in Victorian England and basically nothing else, movies and TV deliver their “strong female protagonists” in the form of a curt, unchangingly rude version of Alice whose words and actions are supposed to be justified by her circumstances. And god, does it fucking suck!

You can't connect to this Alice, this armed and ready, sharp-tongued, "curiouser and curiouser" Alice who lives in a world that practically clears a narratively untouchable path to every foot she plans to step on. Personally, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The misunderstood to confused, to disgruntled, to aggressive pipeline is overplayed to the point where the Alice of any and all modern interpretations has become, essentially, the same character, forced to loop the same 6 emotional plot points from now into eternity, no matter how many coats of science fiction you put over it.

(Yes, there is a part of me that understands this comes from the fact that Alice is most often written by money-hungry, corporate studios, led primarily by men, who do not understand feminine audiences, or how they want to see themselves represented in media. I get that. And Alice Liddell is not safe from that. But consider: she's my babygirl.)

Am I saying the character of Alice can't be mean, can't say fuck, can't have a sword? Of course not!!!! Give women swords!!! But I am saying that every time a director phones it in with that "Oh, I know that book" budget and gives a British blondie trust issues, a prophecy, and a quirked up, top hat-wearing sidekick to have unfulfilling sexual tension with, i lose my wings AND my marbles.

Enter: our Alice Liddell.

What do we have with her, really? Well, the protagonist of a mid-shelf otome game, which has sequels out the wazoo, a movie and 2 stage play runs, but still somehow only enough translated media to fill a single Barnes and Noble shopping basket about halfway. Thanks QuinRose.

But for real.

Alice Liddell is written, from the ground up, as an otome protagonist. As such, there are narrative must-haves that she can't shake. She needs to be relatable to the modern young adult, even if she's supposed to reflect the Victorian female experience. This would usually be the Achilles Heel of an adapted protagonist: you, the player, get to watch in horror as your favorite whimsical Main Girl is watered down into a bowl of nothing soup for the sake of projection and selling more copies of a game with eye candy catboys and toxicity glorification.

HOWEVER,

(stay seated girlies don't go yet)

This necessary mundanity that is baked into Alice's character, inseparable from her very being as the taste of weed in a brownie, is what singlehandedly saves this adaptation and makes her objectively the best. Unlike in a lot of cinematic adaptations, she's not meant to be the (failed) vehicle of a "deeper narrative" about the strength and roles of women in society. She doesn't exist for any higher purpose, she isn't the chosen one who will declare "Damn The Man" and force the world to listen.

Alice is a girl doing everything she can. She's experienced profound loss. She's self-deprecating. Snarky. She's been through break ups, gotten even with bullies, cuddled with her cat on a Sunday, everything that doesn't matter. The crux of her character is that she's been burned by life and love, yet she can't truly give up on them. Hers is a story of healing, of adaptation and getting back up when life kicks the shit out of you. No matter how sharply she speaks, Kuni no Alice's Alice almost always acts from a place of concern and love for others. She crucially never wields a weapon, reacting to the violence of Wonderland with that extremely jaded "holy fucking shit, what the fuck?" energy that I think any of us would bring to the table, given the circumstances. She's not her community's """lunatic,""" she's not sailing the high seas sideways, she's not on drugs, or destiny's favorite, or anything like that. She's new in town! She's sick of these people! She just wants to go home and read!

She's you. She's me. She's a clusterfuck of a damaged girl, trying to sort out what matters, find her passion and move forward without letting her past stray too far from memory. She's someone whose self-importance and perception by others is foreign to her. She wants to matter, wants not to be left alone by the people she loves, but god forbid she ever admit it.

QuinRose gives us Alice Liddell, suffering failgirl, not Alice Liddell, conceptual landmark, and that was the best possible route anyone could have taken with this character. Alice is the main character, but she is not a hero, and that's a fucking genius move.

thanks for coming to my ted talk. i love u alice.

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭

part two of do you feel my hand? it is there. | part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader's childhood cat suddenly gets diagnosed with cancer, and she has to make a big decision about what to do. this fanfic includes heavy topics like: pet euthanasia, extreme loss/grief, depression, the problems with pet healthcare, and more. there will be some humor/fluff placed throughout, and also smut somewhere along the way. :))

18+ warnings: masterbation. sexual fantasies. kinda perv behavior but not really??

word count: 3.0k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: i seriously contemplated on whether or not I should post this chapter, after all of the events of this week. I want to make sure that I am cautious and sensitive to everyone during such a painful time. but in the end, I decided to post this since perhaps, it might help a few of you out there who are dealing with so many emotions right now. I cried while I was writing this last week because it brought up so many feelings that I felt when I had to put down my dog almost 2 years ago. so if this chapter make you sad, please don't feel bad about that or think that you're alone, because I swear that you're not. next week's chapter will be a little bit on the lighter side of things (but just barely). take care of yourselves, okay?? take everything one day at a time. allow yourself to feel a plethora of things, or nothing at all. everyone is different and processes things at a variety of paces. this isn't a race, this is life. and as always, my asks/dms are always open if you just need to vent to a listening ear. I love you guys, and... stay strong, yeah?? ❤️

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

You decided to schedule the appointment on a Sunday afternoon, that way you’d be off of work. Since the night you had spent with Dr. Lee in the waiting room after hours three weeks before, he had continually checked up on you throughout the weeks by way of numerous phone calls. And it felt like, with each one that passed, they seemed to grow longer, as the two of you talked about everything and nothing - all in hopes of trying to get your mind off of the imminent date. 

 From your daily phone calls, you had gleaned some valuable information from Dr. Lee - like the fact that he had been single since he opened up the clinic three years prior since it was pretty hard to keep up a long-term relationship when he was so busy with clients and managing a successful business. 

 You didn’t even know how the topic of romantic adventures came up in your daily wellness calls, but all at once, you were confiding in Dr. Lee about your most recent boyfriend which had broken up with back in university. But you didn’t go into too much detail about the relationship, and you skimmed over the… bad parts of it all. 

  You alluded to your horrible breakup with your ex during the conversation, and you briefly mentioned your ex’s awful treatment of you at the very end of the relationship - but you never crossed the line of professionalism and confessed to all the bitterness you still held for your ex. No, you didn’t think Dr. Lee needed to know such intimate details about your life. But also, he probably wouldn’t care. After all, the phone calls were only a means to an end… 

 And besides, no one else in the entire world knew the extent of your old relationship, so you didn’t see any point in telling a random veterinarian about such a dark part of your past.

 The calls seemed to help somewhat - if only to take your mind off of the looming date. But then, as soon as Dr. Lee hung up, your thoughts were clouded with the pain of losing Nyx all over again. 

 Slowly, you were watching her deteriorate. Dr. Lee warned you that things would go downhill quite fast, and fast they did - since Nyx hardly wanted to eat her meals anymore, even when you’d try to coax her with her favorite treat of a fresh sardine. She was incredibly lethargic and because of the weight loss that she experienced from the lack of an appetite, her thinness only caused more pressure to be put on her legs, which was where the cancer was located. 

 Throughout it all, Dr. Lee did a tremendous job of preparing you for the day - the day that you were expecting to take the place in your mind as the worst moment in your entire life. The two of you planned it so that his schedule was completely free for the procedure. Originally, he told you that he usually doesn't accompany his clients into the euthanization room, and instead leaves it up to the vet techs to take care of the protocol. But without you even having to ask him, he assured you that he’d be with you the entire time - that he’d be the administer of the drug. Because he already knew, that having anyone else there with you wouldn’t help, not in the least bit. Sure, Yongbok and Hyunjin and Seungmin were good techs, but nothing could compare to the utterly calming presence that Dr. Lee alluded… with his soft, brown eyes and his slight smile and- 

 You were thinking about him again- damn it. 

 Because besides being cluttered with the pain of losing Nyx, your mind was also full of so many thoughts about… him. 

 And how, ever since that night in the clinic, he had continued to call you by your first name. No honorifics, no pretense. And even though he felt familiar and warm to you, you still felt somewhat uncomfortable to drop the doctor title. You wondered if he thought it was odd, how he was addressing you informally, and yet you were still doing the ‘keep it professional’ bit.

 When you were busy working at your desk throughout the day, you found your eyes constantly moving over to the side to check your phone. To see if he had called you.

 While you were eating your packed lunch by yourself in your office’s break room, your mind kept replaying the way that it had felt, when he had touched you that night - with those slender fingers and warm palms of his. 

 When you were lounging on your apartment’s small sofa, watching tv before you went to bed, your thoughts drifted off to the sound of his voice, and the way that he always said your name so delicately. 

 But perhaps worse of them all, is what you would do late at night, when you lay wide awake wrapped up in your duvet covers in bed. Because instead of thinking about Nyx, your musings drifted off to him, yet again.

 And perhaps it had something to do with your exhaustion from the end of the day, 

 Or the fact that it was so very dark in your bedroom, 

 But more often than not, your imagination would get the best of you, and all at once, things were turning deeper, dimmer…

 Flashes of him, and that smile that he always gave you when he first saw you during a visit, danced across your vision, 

 As you imagined what he’d look like, staring you down, bright eyes glued to your exposed self. 

 You dreamed about that pretty, red mouth of his, lips turning kiss-swollen and sticky from your very essence. 

 You wondered how it’d feel, to have him towering over you, whispering sinful words into your ear with that sly tongue of his, as he pressed you further down into the bedsheets. 

 And when those thoughts came upon you, you just… couldn’t help yourself. 

 Hand playing with yourself- 

 Grazing over pert buds, 

 Tickling a sensitive waist, 

 Spreading swollen lips, 

 Brushing against a throbbing knot, 

 Pushing past folds and curving inward. 

 And every time, the only thing that crossed your mind, was him. 

 Him - and his smell and his voice and his built frame. 

 In those heated moments of twilight, you only ever made one single sound as you thrashed about between your thick duvet covers…

 “Minho.” 

 The name fell from your bitten-raw lips in whispers, cries, and pleas. 

 Maybe it was because you hadn’t been with a man in so long, 

 Or maybe it was because you were a grown woman and so naturally, you were extremely horny most of the time. 

 But all at once, as you delved into such fantasies late at night, you realized that the attraction to him had always been there. 

 You had just tried to mask it with honorifics and professionalism since you didn’t want to cross any lines. Since you figured that a man of his stature - of wealth and success - would never stoop so low to date a woman like yourself. 

 Even still, none of that stopped you. 

 Stopped your midnight explorations or the way that he seemed to inherently infect your very being with every breath that you took throughout the day. 

 But eventually, the crest of sadness took over everything again, as the day finally came to a head. To your relief, the weather outside on that Sunday afternoon was bright and sunny. You didn’t know what you’d do with yourself if it had been grey and drizzling. 

 You stopped just outside of the clinic’s doors, forcing yourself to take a good look at it all, as you held Nyx in her carrier at your side. It’d be the last time that you stepped through these doors with her in hand. 

 And that’s when the tears started. They silently traced down your cheeks, even as you shuffled through the clinic’s front doors slowly. The bell above your head signaled your arrival, and as if on cue, Jisung and Chan’s heads turned in unison from their computers at the front desk to where you stood at the entrance of the clinic. 

 In an instant, Jisung was getting out of his chair and flitting over to you. “Hi, Y/N,” he said in a soft voice, offering you a gentle smile. “Hi, Nyx.” He bent down in front of you, peering into the black carrier and cooing at your cat. 

 “How long is the wait time?” You asked, voice shaky as you clutched a little harder on the handle of the carrier. 

 Jisung peered up at you then, his big, doe-like brown eyes shining with compassion. “About ten minutes.” 

 You nodded without saying another word, as you began to make your way over to the front desk to check in for your appointment. The entire time you spoke with Jisung, Chan had been watching the two of you in silence, assessing the atmosphere and displaying a compassionate face.

 “Ji said it’s gonna be ten minutes.” Is all you said, as you stood in front of the wooden front desk. You couldn’t meet their eyes anymore, your vision too blurry with tears. And frankly, their pity just made you feel even worse just then.  

 “Yeah, that’s about right,” Chan began, typing away at his computer. Then he slid over a clipboard and had you sign your name at the end of the document. Signing away on the procedure. Signing away on Nyx’s life. “And… I’m so sorry, Y/N.” 

 “Me too.” You whispered before you were pulling away from them and taking a seat near the doors to the back of the clinic. Usually, while you waited for your appointment, you’d scroll through social media on your phone or pick up a nearby magazine and peruse the articles. 

 This time, you just sat there. You sat there in utter despair and silence, before deciding to pull out Nyx from her carrier. She was a little less warm than she had always been, and the thinnest you had ever seen her. Even still, she looked beautiful to you. You pressed your face into her midnight-black fur, taking in the sweet smell of her and nuzzling into her pliable skin. 

 “I love you so much, girl,” you muttered into her coat, before giving her a few kisses. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you…” 

 The minutes ticked by slowly after that, as you clutched on protectively to Nyx. As you kissed your childhood best friend. As you fought for the last seconds spent with the single most stable thing in your entire life. 

 And then, you heard the fateful call of your name ring out across the waiting room. You stood from your chair, muscles moving like they were trapped in a vat of sticky molasses. Your gaze was fixated on the ground at your feet, so you didn’t see who had called your name. 

 “Right this way,” it was Hyunjin’s angelic-like voice that graced your ears, as you walked through the threshold and into the back hallway of the clinic. You felt his hand land atop your shoulder, his slender fingers gently squeezing there in a soothing gesture. 

 Then he was leading you through the back hallways, past the examination rooms that you had sat in with Nyx countless times. Finally, he stopped just in front of a door that was painted in a baby-blue color. 

 “The doctor will be right with you,” Hyunjin began, his tone ghostly-faint and fading away behind you as your eyes locked with the room you were about to be left alone in. “I’ll be right here when you’re done.” 

 You didn’t even register the door being shut closed behind you, too focused on the decorations that were placed throughout the room. The walls were painted a sky-blue, with a beautiful stain-glass window in the center of the room. The scene depicted a magnificent sunset, bursting with colors that were burnt cayennes and violets. The room was quite small, but the bright, real flowers placed throughout the area helped to add life to the otherwise depressing atmosphere - with their brilliant yellows and reds. Just underneath the stained glass window was a small pedestal that was covered in a thick duvet and plastic rap, and off in the corner of the room was a sliding glass window with a curtain shielding the other side of the glass. 

 You sat down on the nearby bench, looking at everything around you. Looking at the pedestal that was before you - where Nyx would be laid to rest. And it felt like your heart was bleeding irrevocably inside of your chest, straining and pumping at the same time as you tried to come to terms with the situation at hand. 

 At least she was going to join the afterlife in a safe space - at least it was beautiful looking and- 

 Your thoughts were interrupted by the shutting of the door that you had originally walked through. Lifting your head from Nyx who was peacefully dozing in your arms, you came face-to-face with Dr. Lee. He was dressed in his usual garb of black slacks and a white doctor's coat. 

 “How are you doing, Y/N?” Was the first thing he asked, as he shut the door behind him and neared you. He knelt in front of your knees, taking both of your hands in his and giving them a gentle squeeze. 

 That’s when you managed to find the courage to look up into his eyes finally, and the heartache and pain that you found there just made it hurt a little bit more. You felt your bottom lip quake, as the sobs freely flowed from you. You didn’t even have to reply since he already knew how difficult this was for you. So he kept quiet, not moving from his position in front of you and holding onto you as you cried yourself to exhaustion. 

 “I-I’m ready,” you finally said, roughly scrubbing at your eyes with the palm of one of your hands to try and knock some sense into yourself. 

 “Are you sure?” He questioned, the concern dripping in his voice from the way that it deepened somewhat. 

 You nodded furiously, heart hurting so much that it felt like you were going to drop dead from a heart attack any minute. “Y-Yeah.” 

 Then his hands were slipping away from yours, leaving a fierce shiver to course down the length of your spine at the absence of his touch. He stood close to the curtained window and tapped on the glass once, and you turned your head to the side just in time to glimpse Yongbok pushing the glass aside before he handed over a metal dish that had a small syringe placed in it. 

 You swallowed around the huge lump that was forming in your dry throat. And when Yongbok offered you a sincere, comforting smile, all you could do was nod once before he was shutting the glass door again, pulling the curtain closed to give you and Dr. Lee some privacy. 

 Then it was all happening at once - too quickly for you to even grasp - as Dr. Lee was gently taking Nyx from your grasp and laying her down on the cushioned pedestal. She put up no resistance and nudged her little black nose into the palm of his hands, purring in satisfaction. She had always had a soft spot for the doctor. 

 You stumbled over to her, grabbing hold of one of her paws and squeezing it delicately. You peered up at Dr. Lee through hazy eyes, his face a blotch of color shining through your tear-stained vision. “P-Promise me it’ll be painless, doctor. You- you have to promise me…” Your voice broke off at the end of your words, as you leaned down into Nyx and pressed kiss after kiss into her silky fur. 

 “She won’t feel a thing, Y/N. I promise.” You heard Dr. Lee say before he was moving again, picking up one of her paws in bated silence. You felt his eyes on you, as you cried into Nyx’s warm skin for the last time. 

 “I love you so much, girl…” You whispered, voice barely audible to your ears. Cracking irrevocably. “I’ll see you again someday- so... just wait for me there, yeah?” 

 Then, almost like she could understand your words, Nyx moved her head over to your neck and nuzzled into you, purring lowly. The sobs wracked through your body, as you felt Dr. Lee leaning into her at the same time as you held her close. 

 You squeezed your eyes shut, like if you closed them long enough, everything would disappear. 

 The pain, 

 The loss, 

 The fear. 

And then just like that, Dr. Lee was sighing heavily, a metric ton of agonizing weight in just his breathing alone. “It’s done.” 

 In the blink of an eye, it was all over. 

 You clutched onto Nyx’s languid body, holding onto her for dear life. Perhaps, if you held her long enough, she’d come back. 

 But nothing happened. 

 There was no more purring, 

 Or meowing, 

 Or scratching. 

 Just… 

 Utterly nothing. 

 Silence. 

 And that was the worst part about it all. 

“It hurts,” you began, voice not even sounding like your own from all of the dryness and the crying, “it hurts so fucking much.” 

 You were shaking your head then, still clutching at one of Nyx’s little pink paws. Then you felt arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against a firm chest. Hands clutched at your sides, and you all but turned around to bury your face into the warmth of Dr. Lee. 

 “I know,” he said in a hushed tone, his deep, melodic voice so close to your ear that it sent a ripple of shivers across your skin. “I know it hurts, Y/N, but I’m here…” 

 And then you could do nothing more, 

 As a new wave of grief washed over you, 

 Suffocating the very air right out of your lungs, 

 Drying out your entire being, 

 Causing the dull pain of a bad headache to bloom across either of your temples. 

 All you could do at that point was cry and cry and cry, your entire body violently shaking as you held onto Dr. Lee for dear life. And he made no point of pulling away from you. Almost like, he had planned to be there all along. 

To be continued...

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🌾 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad

©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

[musicalhell]

Sending a fic to ask about: Persephone's Gambit

Favorite scene: It depends. Right now I'm in the middle of writing a chapter set on Christmas Eve including (spoiler alert) first time E/C, which is a combination of indulging my fondness for the busy holiday scenes in Christmas Carol and La Boheme with some fun sexytimes.

Favorite chapter: of the ones published so far it would have to be the visit to Belletours, because I love Eunice and also Raoul's cool/fun uncle potential is underrated.

Hardest scene to write: The reveal of what happened with Saed hasn't been easy, not so much because I didn't know what happened but because I needed to find the right way to work it into the narrative.

Favorite character to write: Honestly asking which of the POV characters I like best is like asking for my favorite child. I love Raoul because he's so blunt and the closest thing this story has to a straight man (for certain values of the term), Christine because she's coming into her own and discovering her strength and I love that for her, and Erik because he has ALL THE FEELINGS to the point that his inner dialogue starts edging into Gollum/Smeagol territory and he's always good for personal drama.

Favorite dynamic: Again, kind of in favorite child territory, but Erik/Raoul scenes are always fun to write because they have absolutely no filter when it comes to one another and the way their personalities bounce off each other is entertaining.

Why I chose the title: The "Persephone" part is kind of obvious. A gambit is a type of strategy in chess and life where one makes an initial sacrifice in order to set up a future advantage--something all three main characters do near the outset of the story.

Fun fact about the fic: In the spirit of authors using their writing to air petty (and not-so-petty) personal grievances, most of the antagonists have elements of someone I have a beef with. Marcelin Robert's and Julian de la Marche's appearances are based on Matt Walsh and JD Vance respectively. M. Simon was inspired by a rather difficult choir director I worked with, and M. Vincent owes more than a little to an old college theatre prof who was horrid in several ways (including some that got him sent to jail for a few years).

[mirzamsaiph]

IT’S ME, I’M ALIVE, UR GIRL IS BACK FR FR. 

Okay, calming down now. Hi, how are you doing? I hope you’ve been good. I AM SO SORRY I haven’t commented on your new chapter releases, I’ve been having a rough time, year 12 is hard man, and I still have like two more terms of school after this one, and then university. I promise you I have read every chapter you’ve dropped, even if I haven’t commented. I’ve been lamenting for days on whether or not to send you an ask bcs like, ur my fav and ya know, it’s only fair I do bcs I follow you anyway lol but I also have no idea what to say, ur making me shy, damn. I’ve just been lurking in your Tumblr feed, liking all ur posts like a gremlin bcs sending an ask is too scary, (forgive me, for I am a coward). How long has it been since I last commented, I don’t even know 🙁.

I’m writing this as a draft in Google Docs in the middle of my maths double, who writes a draft for an ask? Me, I write drafts for asks apparently, yikes man. The maths part doesn't matter, I do not care for it.

I still love every single one of your chapters, ESPECIALLY THE READING THE BOOK ONES!! LIKE HELLO?!?!? POSEIDON FOR BEST FATHER!?!?! Sobbing, screaming, crying after reading that, I love the sea fam. Percy is so bbg too, like hold him in my hands and give him lil forehead kisses kinda bbg, so precious. AND just the campers, they're so cute, I love when Camp Half-Blood actually comes across as a family, or like an actual camp, the singing around the camp-fire is so wholesome, and Will being Percy's hype-man, like c'mon man, they're just best buddies, I love that for them.

It is deeply important to me that you understand just how much I love your fics, and just like ur content in general. When I get bored I always check my emails for updates or I go on ur Tumblr and just scroll, like I love u pookie, fr.

I’m just gonna send this as is, I’m psyching myself out over this hahah. I’ll try and get around to commenting on chapters again, especially one’s I’ve missed, and if I have time I might just start sending them via Tumblr. I need like somewhere to list everything I wanna talk abt in the comments.

Anyway, bye bye, see u soon.

Fun fact, in however long I’ve had Tumblr, this is my first ask :3

PS: I just realised I never put my name lol, it’s Smoll_Satan. This is my Tumblr account 👍.

OH MY GOD HELLO??? WELCOME BACK GIRL??? YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED TRUST 🤞🏻

I’m doing great, school is kicking my butt :( trying not fail this semester as the moment. Year 12 (which I’m taking a wild guess and saying that is junior year, in American terms) is known as the hardest and most stressful year, so no judgement here girlie!

Don’t fear girl! I’m not scary at all, I’m like the literal least intimidating person on the planet. I’m just a girl I promise. I saw you go through and like my posts and I was giggling everytime I got a notification bc that was really nice 😭

Writing in your docs is so real because I have done the EXACT same thing so many times, mostly bc I fear tumblr is gonna bug out on me ;( Also I hate math too, it irks my soul.

THANK YOU. POSEIDON IS GETTING HIS REDEMPTION ARK. TRUST ME. I was screaming writing that, i was just so surprised that I wrote that because I lovedddd it.

Will and Percy are best bro’s but Percy is ready to threaten him when he and Nico get together. Trust Percy is a protective older brother… (the singing was so sweet :(()

GIRL I LOVE YOU OH M GEE YOU’RE SO SWEET. I love seeing your comments, whilst you look for my chapters I go looking in my comments for your comment.

Don’t psych yourself out when it comes to Tumblr asks! I love them, like I find it so amazing. If you do comment trust I’ll be replying to each one, they are the source of my amusement for each chapter. (literally have cackled reading your commentary)

BYE! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[ladyazulina]

Coming Soon: ✨ My Birthday ✨

Hello.

Would you say we are friends? I guess that term is way too big, mutuals is what we use here, but what would it take for us to be friends, stranger? Would you like us to be?

I'm a weird gal. I'm planning for my birthday. Two years ago I decided to take that day into my own hands and do something nice about it for myself.

I'm part of that percentage of people who actually hate their birthdays but I can't, for the life of me, do like I couldn't care less for the day. Mind you, I also don't allow my loved ones to do the same. In fact, last month was my partner's birthday and He DoEsN't MiNd HiS bIrThDaY bullshit—I planned his whole day and filled him with gifts and gave him the best day ever because such a special day couldn't go unaddressed and he should feel it as special as it actually is. (I'm trying to do the same for friends I hold dear and close to my heart, but forgive me if it takes me some attempts, it's the hardest thing I have ever done.)

Usually, I spend my day bummed, all sad, and if I'm unfortunate enough, eating ice cream (the dessert that fuels my sadness due to past experiences).

Two years ago, it was too short of a planning time, but some online friends accepted my request and half made my day.

A year ago, I spent the day outside actually doing stuff I liked (even though I hate being outside and was awfully depressed).

I was attempting to do an advent calendar this year, but I underestimated how hard it is to fill up.

So, actually, just right now this occurred to me.

First off, this year was supposed to go absolutely different. I was planning to visit my partner and we would spend my birthday, the holidays, and our first anniversary together, but I need to get a VISA and that process hindered all wishes and expectations. So... plan B. (I can't be sadder about it, each passing day it's drilling on me and I want to attempt to break with that as well. But I'm also aware I can't do it alone, hence this long-letter request.)

I don't have the slightest idea what the next months have in store for me, but so far this is it:

The advent calendar would go through a whole month, ending on my birthday (November 20 to December 20).

I would like to do at least a small thing I can fit into my routine / schedule without much fuss, hopefully with someone's company.

Weekends are scheduled to be TTRPG days, I could play a bit alone or with someone, and I'm crafting a list to choose at random which game I will play on which day.

Some things I love are reading and writing, though I can't write in command. I adore world-building and creating characters and I can spend hours rambling (ask my partner). But also, I won't mind spending some hours just talking and meeting someone, socializing isn't my forte, but I still need to go out with it.

I want to save December 19 to receive all the well wishes people want to give me, whichever way, and receive all the gifts (if there are any) on December 20 while I'm busy starting the day reading those wishes.

I do not need gifts, I'm a simple girl, but I feel like I need people to actively seek me on the day, I dunno why. I guess receiving the wishes the day prior and reading on the day could help, so that's one. And the whole month prior to actually scheduling small moments with friends and family could help palliate the possible loneliness of the day, they would have already spent some time with me during the days I put apart precisely for that... I don't know, I believe it could make sense, but don't ask me.

Anyway, I think I used all my words already. If you have seen me someday or if you just recently did (here) and want to apart a small time with me, to talk, to meet, to hopefully be friends or get close, if you want to do me this favor and be a part of this, thank you so much 💙 We can talk and schedule, see what to do, or you can just send me wishes on December 19 and if you want I can answer you back and start going from there or something, or anything, or nothing. I have all my days empty.

Now I'm actually feeling stupid doing this, but I will post it anyway because for some reason it came to me and I never know what could come from this.

[bloomingforerza]

Echos — levi x reader one-shot/lyric-shot.

notes from bloom: hi!!!! its been quite some time since i’ve written a one shot. no smut in this one!!! just jerk cheater ex boyfriend eren in a hurt/comfort levi x reader. this song is one of my all time favorite songs (my goal is to write a song fic for my 3 all time favorite songs). i originally wrote a (much shorter and cringier) one-shot back in 2015 to this song but i loved it so much i felt like i should rewrite it. pLEASE give me feedback? its always welcome :) i’m gonna link the song below in case you’d like to listen. happy reading!!!!

word count: 4,791

character count (excluding spaces): 20,600

masterlist

my mind’s at erase

and my thoughts are done

i’ve been meaning to tell you this

since my lies begun

Things were taking a turn for the worse in your life these days. You’d just gotten out of a relationship with your long-term boyfriend, Eren. He hadn’t always been this way. Things started getting bad after you found out from your best friend, Hanji, that he was cheating on you.

You had been together since high-school, everyone knew you two because you were always attached at the hip. You were voted most likely to get married in superlatives, and you were at every football game he had. 6 years isn’t something you can just throw away the way he did.

He used to be sweet. He would invite your friends out with you guys on occasion, and he’d dote on you at all times. You remember first words to him after Hanji told you were, “How could you Eren? After all this time?” You remember the sharp piercing feeling in your chest, tears running down your cheeks, and he had the nerve to start an argument with you. Gaslight, tell you Hanji’s lying, tell you it’s your fault, how you weren’t satisfying him enough. But when you’d tried to leave, he’d tried to forbid it. “You can’t leave, (Y/n), please, I won’t let you, I won’t do it again.”

Even past dating, you’ve known Eren since middle school. But he needed to go, and you were not even ready to think about forgiveness. You didn’t think if you’d ever forgive him.

Hanji on the other hand, Hanji kept telling you you cannot forgive him. You have no reason to forgive him. But you just couldn’t help yourself for wanting to.

the way i feel inside

reflects of the souls in your eyes

i’ve been meaning to tell you this

all my life

You’d taken some time off work, told your boss you had a family emergency. Hanji, being the angel that she is, came to comfort you. You were not ready to go into work yet, you didn’t know how to handle yourself right now.

She mentioned introducing you to a coworker of hers who’d been going through a similar experience. She said talking to him might help you find closure within yourself. She set up an afternoon for both of you to meet up with him this weekend at a coffee shop you used to love.

That was the problem. You lost yourself in Eren. The hardest part about coping is that everything you like reminds you of him, and you can’t remember what you liked before him. Sometimes you remember, times like this. You associate that coffee shop with good friends and good memories. He never liked this coffee shop, he said their coffee tasted like tap water and mud. Ever since you’d moved out with him, you had stopped going.

Maybe meeting with this ‘Levi’ would be a good thing for you.

But you still had other short comings to manage, like the fact that you couldn’t refuse Eren when he asked you to let him get his stuff the Friday after. Your gut knew he’d try to convince you to take him back. But you needed answers before you could even consider it an option.

Friday morning comes, and you ask Hanji to hold off coming over for a few hours. You wanted to let Eren share his thoughts, but you didn’t want to say a word to him. So the moment he arrived, everything was awkward and silent and dreadful. You sat in the kitchen after letting him in, just letting him collect his things in peace.

But you knew it in the back of your mind, the thought ‘he’s going to try to convince you to let him back in’ screaming in the back of your mind. And you still gave him the benefit of the doubt, with hope in your heart, that he wouldn’t try to lie or manipulate his way out of it this time.

But boy was your mind right, and that fact did not aid your heart as it shattered once more. “I promise, Mikasa didn’t mean anything to me Y/n. Just listen.” he cried when you were telling him to leave after he’d packed everything.

“No. I won’t listen. How long have you been seeing Mikasa, Eren?” Your response is cold, dripping venom. You were doing everything to keep your guard up.

“I can’t tell you.” He began to cry again, not knowing how to win you back. It killed him, and it hurt you to see him crying at your feet like this.

“Yes, you can. How long have you been seeing Mikasa?” You ask again, and he grips his hair and looks at the floor, not being able to meet your gaze when he whispers out, “3 years.”

“THREE YEARS?” You’re yelling. You never yell, but why are you yelling? Why are you letting him see how hard this hurts you?

“(Y/n), I—“ He’s sobbing, but just as he’s about to try and spew out more ridiculous shit, Hanji’s car pulls up to your apartment. You can see the hurt and emotions you’re displaying reflecting off of his beautiful green eyes, and it makes it so much harder for you to send him away.

“I’ve heard enough, you need to leave. Hanji’s about to come inside and she’s going to murder you if you’re here.” You don’t even look at him, giving him the warning that you would let Hanji beat him up.

Eren grabs the rest of his bags and walks out as Hanji’s getting out of her car. The death glare you watch her give him is insane. It was 2:01, and to be fair, you told Hanji it should only take him an hour and a half. For everything that Hanji is and everything that she lacks, at least she’s here when you need her to be here.

You’re sobbing when she finally walks in, the composure you held breaking as he left. You couldn’t fight it anymore, and Hanji ran over to you instantly to let you know how much she loves you and how proud of you she is. The way that you carried yourself and held your self respect showed strength.

to think of who i am

shows much of what you were too

slowly i realize

i’ll be fine without you

Hanji took you out the day after for that for coffee with her coworker. She was good friends with this person, but she didn’t tell you much about them. She did however tell you to ‘not dress homeless’ and to dress ‘how you would on a good day.’ If that was meant to be a compliment, it feels more like a ridiculous insult to your already sensitive heart.

She was very excited, for reasons unbeknownst to you. She was doing a poor job at hiding her giddiness as well, twitching and smiling to herself. Looking back on it now you can understand why, but back then it seemed like she was just being her normal, weird-self.

When you walk in, there’s a nice jazzy coffeehouse vibe. The smell of grinding arabica coffee beans and dripping espresso slaps you in the face, but Hanji’s instantly darting over to her friend. A man, Hanji failed to mention, but he was pretty. It was a thought you had to shove out of your mind.

He had long, soft black hair with an undercut below. His jaw was well cut, and his face seemed almost fixed into a frown. He had a nice earring in one ear, and some tattoos here and there. He was dressed nicely in some casual jeans and a t-shirt. “This is Levi,” She introduces. You glance at Hanji after trying to not make it obvious you were inspecting him, but she had her arm locked over his shoulders. Hanji was pretty tall, but you were always on the short side, but Levi was short too.

You wanted to trust Hanji’s intuition though, and just sat across from him. Hanji finished bothering the unnamed man, and sat beside you. After ordering some drinksb to the table, you couldn’t help but feel awkward as Levi and Hanji began to talk about work related stuff.

You wanted to trust Hanji, you really did, but you couldn’t understand what she wanted out of this. You instead opt to wait for your coffee quietly. Unfortunately the plan isn’t ever gonna go the way you want it if Hanji is around.

And she started to tell Levi about your job, which Levi seemed really interested in and asked you all kinds of questions. He was fascinated about some things, and genuinely seemed like he wanted to hear more from you. You quickly bonded over similar interests like tea and fine art, but you’ve learned that he just appreciates art rather than enjoys making it himself.

After you three finished your drinks, you talked for another three hours before you all left. Hanji put you and Levi into a group chat before he left, making him aware she was going to be pestering the both of you often. Levi and Hanji started working together around the same time, also around the same time you started college and met Hanji.

Hanji was a teacher’s assistant and a junior in your chemistry class freshman year, and she helped you a lot with coming out of your shell after entering college.

But when you’re remembering that, you can’t help yourself but remember that Eren and you had just started living in an apartment together as well. And now its been 4 years since then, and you still can’t find closure or comfort in your thoughts. Where did everything go wrong for the two of you? It will take so much time to heal, but you know that you’ll get there on your own eventually.

i gave you your chances

and just put them aside

to find out too late

of who i am inside

Regretful isn’t a good word to describe how you’re feeling. You loved Eren so much, but when you realize how much time and effort you put into your relationship with him just to be cheated on for half of it makes you feel so disconnected with yourself. You’re remorseful, and you feel like you’ve betrayed yourself at the end of the day.

You’ll never forget the night last year that he didn’t show up for a date he had planned for you after class. He said it’d be a surprise, and he told you to wait outside of your campus. He was going to come pick you up. But 5 minutes of waiting had eventually turned into an hour and five minutes of waiting, and you eventually went home. Eren wasn’t even at the apartment.

His excuse was that he got held up at school because he had been assigned some group project and his partners made him stay to help start it. Of course you believed him. However, when memories like this come to mind, all you can think about now was, ‘Was he seeing Mikasa?’

Not trying to let thoughts like this bring your progress to a halt, you ask Hanji to arrange another hangout with Levi. He was really nice, and you appreciated his company the first time around. Of course she over-excitedly screamed out an, “OF COURSE I CAN MAKE PLANS FOR US AGAIN!” Before immediately grabbing her phone and texting him.

You really were so thankful to have someone like Hanji here beside you to help you through this, but sometimes you felt like you were losing yourself. You couldn’t remember what you enjoyed before Eren, so how were you going to find yourself again?

And when she asked if there was anything you wanted to do before she just picked something, you felt so ashamed of yourself for not knowing what to say. What did you enjoy doing? It felt like every answer to that question had always been associated with Eren. “Fuck you, Eren.” You mumbled to yourself.

“Where did that come from?” Hanji laughs. “Not that I disagree, but we can’t exactly pick that for a hangout activity.” She giggles, You give her a raised brow, but you smile at her idiocy none the less. Eventually, given that it’s apple picking season, she suggests the three of you go apple picking. You have no objections, and you tell her to not force Levi into it if he’s not up for the idea. Of course though, in true Hanji fashion, her response is, “Levi never has choices when it comes to me.” with her classic devilish grin.

show me yourself, come show me who you are

these are the times we wish it never went this far

hidden by your words, oh god please let me see

how someone plays with feelings oh so carelessly

You’ve only been apple picking once and it was with Eren. The saddest after thought, it was 4 years ago. In your head, that meant he’d given up after he started seeing Mikasa in secret.

But you can’t think about that. You asked Hanji for this, you wanted to have a good day. But your intrusive thoughts weren’t being nice today in particular, and you knew at some point you were probably going to spiral out.

Once you arrived at the orchard, your stomach felt uneasy. You didn’t know what was making you feel this way. Hanji had sensed that you were off, so she kept trying to redirect your mind without asking you if you were ‘okay.’ She knew what the answer to that would be.

As you’re walking up to meet Levi with Hanji, you feel like things might just be okay. You continue on with your day, the three of you walked around and you got to know Levi a bit better. He was really nice to you, even though he spoke so harshly to Hanji. It made you laugh when he’d immediately change his tone after speaking with you.

But all good things always seem to have to come to an end for you. After picking the apples, Hanji really wanted an apple cider donut. She dragged you and Levi into the small shop the orchard had on the property, trailing behind the two. But the minute you stepped inside, you saw him. Eren, standing in line at the counter with Mikasa. He had his arm around her waist while she ordered what she wanted.

The sight had your stomach dropping entirely. You finally understood where all the anxiety was coming from. Your gut knew he was here. You looked at Hanji immediately, who hadn’t noticed the pair, and slightly motioned your head in Eren’s direction. Right after, you look over at Eren once more, but this time your eyes lock with his. You turn around and run out, not having any strength left to put up with him.

You stand outside, and from the other side of the door you can hear the voices of Levi and Hanji arguing with Eren.

You eventually just walk away. You walk back towards the apple trees, wanting some peace of mind. Only two minutes later, you could hear someone running up behind you, and you turned to see Levi. He had ran outside to look for you.

“Hey.” He said casually when he stood beside you. “Hanji’s still arguing with him, she can go at it all day.” He informs you, to which you smile a bit. Hanji was a great friend, and you knew she’d drag Eren to Hell with her if she had the opportunity to.

“Why’d you come out here?” You ask curiously, not looking at him after you said it. You didn’t want him to think you he wasn’t wanted there, but you also were still unsure of his reasons.

“To check on my friend.” He glances at you out of the side of his eye while the two of you walk through the orchard together. “I want you to know (Y/n), you aren’t alone in this. For starters, your weird friend is inside ready to square up with your shithead ex-boyfriend.” You laugh loudly at his statement, and you catch him smiling a little at you through your peripheral vision. “There’s also me, who wants to in any way I can. I was in your position a few weeks ago.”

You and Levi hadn’t had the chance to talk one on one yet, but the conversation lasted for so long you had almost forgotten about Hanji. But to little surprise, as you two had turned to walk back to the shop, there she was trying to stealthily hide behind an apple tree.

“Hey four eyes, I wouldn’t exactly call that a hiding spot.” Levi calls.

“No one said I was trying to hide Levi.” She lightly punches his arm, and you smile.

Although you had a minor (alright, personally huge) bump in the road, these two really came through for you today.

give me your heart to come and be in one

vulnerable i was, please come and steal and run

just as we laughed, kissed,i looked deep in your eyes

to tell you how i felt, came one without reply

A few months later, you and Levi had started dating. The trauma and trust issues you have now make things really hard for you sometimes, but Levi is always ever so patient with you.

When he said I love you for the first time almost a year in, you almost had a panic attack. When you told Eren you loved him, he didn’t answer you right away. He told you he couldn’t say it back yet. The saddest part was you can’t remember if there was a time he ever said it back.

You didn’t understand the feeling of someone loving you. Eren neglected you so horribly in your relationship, and Levi tries to give you all of the attention you need to make up for it. All of the kisses that you’d missed, all the snuggles that had you shaking from being touch starved, all of the dates you’d never been on until Levi.

Levi makes everything better. He made you feel so secure and so safe, like you were the most precious person on the Earth. He needed to show you how worthy you were, because he knew exactly how unworthy you felt. He told you that helping you helps him find his worth, relieves him of his traumas from Petra.

He shared with you one day that as a result of Petra’s cheating, he felt like he wasn’t keeping her safe enough, wasn’t making her feel loved enough. Even if it wasn’t the case, he needs you to feel loved enough, especially knowing you were lacking so much of it for almost 6 years.

But after some more months of working together, you’ve grown to see 18 months as a couple. When you hit milestones like this, you always love to take time for you and Levi to self reflect. If Hanji hadn’t introduced you to Levi when she did, you’d have no idea where you’d be in this moment.

Just because you hadn’t met him wouldn’t have changed the fact Eren still cheated on you. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to change the dull ache you feel when you think of your childhood with him, but there’s no grief left for the love you had. But years of birthday’s, christmas’, thanksgiving’s and even valentine’s day memories can’t just be erased so quickly.

But time works in funny ways.

And after 4 years, Levi decided you had to be his forever. He wanted you to know how much you meant to him, and he knew you felt the same as he did.

You still thought of Eren at times, but there were still no regrets. Even years after, you wish him the best. But you can’t imagine marrying anyone other than Levi. Levi’s been the main source of your happiness.

He drags you out one night to a small lake in a park. The lake was kind of hidden, trees surrounding it and only one open crawl space. There were fireflies illuminating over the pond, and you could hear the chorus of cicadas echoing through the warm, humid air around you.

He’s helped you through most of it. The nights he held you because you couldn’t stop your intrusive thoughts, when you’d cry to yourself sometimes after saying a certain word or phrase, how you couldn’t bring yourself to watch your favorite television shows anymore. “Were they ever my favorites, or were they Eren’s favorites?” You’d ask yourself, questioning everything and bringing yourself to the point of an existential crisis. But Levi would always find a way to ground you.

Even on the other end, there would be times Levi would seem withdrawn and distant from his own intrusive thoughts. You knew he didn’t want any bullshit comforting words, so your go to form of care was to make him his favorite tea. When you first slept over his apartment after a few months into dating him, he’d tried to hide his silent cries from you. You turned over and held him though, and you’d promised yourself right then and there that you would always be there to hold him.

echoes is all i hear

i’m running, i’m running, i’m running

let go is all i fear

i’m running, i’m running, i’m running

After almost three solid years of dating Levi, it had almost felt like a whisper in the back if your mind. But you would never forget, and unfortunately Levi had the same trauma. But he took extra good care of you on your three year anniversary together.

In fact, Hanji had dragged you to the park that afternoon. “What’s wrong with taking a walk with your best friend?” She argued with you, and you couldn’t help rolling your eyes at her.

“Hanji, how many years have we been friends and when have you ever dragged me to the park for a WALK?” Your eyebrow is raised and the tone you use sounds almost motherly. “Are you a dog?” You add some banter, and the side eye you received had you cackling.

“No, you idiot, I’m not a dog. I needed some fresh air is all.” She’s looking around almost suspiciously as she says this though, and you just know something’s up. “Hey, there’s this new art display at the pier over here, we should pop by and see it.” She suggests, and you nod slowly. What is she up to?

“Yeaaaaahhhh, sure.” You’re reluctant, but follow anyway. You honestly had no idea what Hanji was doing right now, she’s not the type to go for random walks.

But as you walk closer to the pier, you could see lights in the distance. Not flashy ones, but it seemed pretty bright over there. You grew excited to see whatever silly art display she was talking about, but you weren’t going to tell her that.

“We’re almost there, you have to close your eyes!” She yells, and you release a groan.

“Hanji, how am I going to walk? Why am I closing my eyes for an art display?” You do so nonetheless, and she grabs your shoulders.

“I got’chya. Come on!” She’s guiding you the rest of the way while you cover your eyes. After walking a few more feet, she gives you the cue to open. But what you saw nearly brought you to tears.

This wasn’t just an art display. There was an arch, fairy lights glowing different shades of white, while they had wisteria to accentuate them. Beautiful white orchids and daisies to accent long strands of ivy. Near the center of the arch was Levi waiting, looking out at the ocean. He was as handsome as he always was, but he dressed himself in a nice white button down with some black jeans tonight. The sight of all of it made your eyes swell up.

And that was how he proposed. Hanji hid your friend Sasha in the bushes, wanting her to get amazing photos of it all. And when you look back at them now with him years later, you can’t help but almost feel like you’ve fallen in love all over again. Not like you could ever grow tired of him of course.

He took extra care to make sure that you understood how loved and important he was to you. After 3 years of being married, he had told you that he’d chosen to propose after your three year anniversary so you would never have a doubt about his faith or loyalty to you. He loved you so much, he knew you were going to be the one he needed for the rest of his life. He’d remind himself of that every time you came through for him.

The thought that Levi had put into your relationship with him was so meaningful to you. Sometimes you’d laugh over the way he’s speak to you and the way he’d speak to anyone else. You feel like Hanji gets the worst of it, but you know she can be much at times.

You were so thankful for the both of them. Hanji was already your maid of honor before you’d even decided anything else. She wasn’t just the reason you and Levi met, but she was also the bestest friend you’d truly ever had.

let go, i can’t let go

Sometimes, Eren creeps back into your mind. After so many years, sometimes it feel like you still have a hole in your heart. The childhood you’d spent with him, all the way up to school where you’d been in the same class every year. Prom, two graduations, moving out, college, all of it.

But then you’d remember how full your heart was when you’d found out you were pregnant. Pregnant with Levi’s baby.

You loved Levi so much. He made you feel safe, loved and protected. You may never fully heal from Eren, it feels like your childhood blanket was ripped out of your hands. But even so, the love you receive from your husband fills that grief up and scares away your demons. And in the end, it’s always going to be Levi.

Levi saved you when he’d met you, and he saves you every time you find yourself spiraling out about something that reminded you of Eren. But you always remember that Levi is good, it’s almost like he purposely tries to prove himself to you every day. Hanji says you deserve it after forgetting what real love felt like.

He never missed a beat when it came to holidays, birthdays, or special occasions. He loved to dress up with you, even if he’d complain about it the entire day. you knew he loved to match outfits with you because you eventually started to get his input on them as well. At weddings, he’d love to just hold you on the dance floor. He always shows up, even after you’d started your own family with him. He’s promised himself that he would always show up for your kids. Your oldest, your son Emile, was very much like you. Kind-hearted with tons of energy. He loved to play sports, especially soccer. Your daughter, Vydia, loved to figure skate. Levi showed up to every soccer match and every skate competition, he would always make time for his kids.

You’ll never be able to let go of Eren entirely, he’ll always take the title of first love. He took almost every first he could, and he holds a portion of your heart and remains in your memories. But Levi was the first person to pull you out. He helped make everything better, and then you fell in love with him. He was your first (and last!) fiancé and husband, which he took so much pride in. He was the first person to promise you forever, and a forever he gave.

Because the love you have for Levi, the way you feel, is much more important and serious than the childish fantasy Eren gave you. You’ve always verbally and physically told him how grateful you were, but you never felt like it was enough. And at the end of the day, every single night since you got married, you always just had to settle for;

“Thank you, Levi. I love you so much.”

so fall away is what i’ll do

it’s what i’ll do

it’s what i’ll do

it’s what i’ll do

it’s what i’ll do

it’s what i’ll do

[mahou-shoujo-dandelion]

Translating Magical Girl Dandelion (threads by the translator Mei Amaki, or @raintreemei)

First thread

"Before #MagicalGirlDandelion comes out next week, I thought I'd share some very surface-level thoughts about the English translation so far. I generally believe translations should speak for themselves, but I guess showing a tiny peek under the hood here and there can't hurt!

I translated chapter 1-3 together. Of those chapters, the hardest line for me was in Chapter 2. It's easy enough to write Shade with his signature bad boy attitude, but it was hard at first to maintain his characterization when he was being sincere. The key is wording.

An earlier rendition of this line was something like "You can be sure that I'll step outta the nearest shadow. So, if you need someone to keep you company..." It's not the worst, but just not quite SHADE.

Tanpopo's catchphrase was really hard too. At the start of a series, you can only guess how it will appear in other contexts. Plus, we have a lot of moving parts. Armor almost treated like a "seed" that must be cracked so it can bloom as a flower? I think I did all right, though!

Chapter 3. This is a "modern fantasy," so it can't sound like a "medieval fantasy." With that said, I got my inspiration for this line as I was rereading Tales of Earthsea by U.K. Le Guin. She used "foul" in some chapter, and it was a eureka moment!

Also, a friend noted that Peony is a lot like Inspector Javert from Les Misérables--which, wow! Yeah! Not that I try to incorporate that in the slightest (if the author doesn't intend it, neither shall I), but it's just a fun similarity in how the char is portrayed by Sensei.

Some funny typos. At first, I had trouble writing "fiend" consistently, and often wrote "friend"...which would have been silly, and absolutely terrible LOL! The same thing happened with "Peony." I kept writing "Pony" at first... I immediately added them to my review checklist.

Some thoughts about terms. I love trying to spin existing terms into some sort of cool magical equivalent, where appropriate. In the case of "magic quotient," the original Japanese was basically "magic amount," which gave a lot of room to come up with something that fits.

"Magic quotient" comes from "intelligence quotient!" Then we have "Blood Magic Content." It is so hard to see, very tiny! This one comes from "blood alcohol content!"

Anyway, I hope that was interesting! I am admittedly shy when it comes to this kinda thing, so I am always at a loss for words... In any case, back into my tiny little cave..."

Second thread

"Under a week away from Magical Girl Dandelion chapter 7! Some surface-level thoughts about the translation so far. If you can't tell, I'm going out of order...

It isn't really possible to express in the translation, but Alice's fiend name (Alice) and his human name (Arisu) are pronounced the same exact way in Japanese--different character usage though! It's just that Arisu also happens to be a Japanese name...!

(Mangaka commentary: "Alice's real name, "Arisu" (有栖), is written in kanji as "栖" and "有る", meaning "to have a place to belong". Alice's parents may have given him this name in the hope that he would be surrounded by friends and find his place in life")

"Give her the boot" and "expel" are the same word in JP! The difference in translation comes from the grammar and tone. Shade is a bad boy, he uses grammar that makes him sound like one. Peony is self-serious, at times extremely grave, so her grammar reflects that too.

The same word can be translated many different ways depending on how the character is supposed to sound, the tone of the scene, the way that the words should flow together as dialog, the fact that Japanese has a higher tolerance for repetition than English, etc...

The Japanese here was originally Ta / n / po / po. However, you can't really have an "n" by itself like that here. Of course, we could have also put an ellipses instead of a "no" for the last balloon, but the way he's talking is very jerky (not the "mean" kind, hah hah)!

So, when you have more balloons than you do words you want to put in them, it's not uncommon to let the meaning of the preceding or subsequent lines bleed into that extra balloon. Here, I took the next "stay back" and started it in the last balloon we see below.

Another upside to this translation technique, is that when you're short on space, you can use the surrounding balloons to unpack more of the meaning than you could in the balloon it was actually said in. Of course, you have to be careful still. The dialog comes in a certain order for a reason so you can't just change up the order willy-nilly. Generally, this technique is used sparingly, when there is no space, when the original order of the information isn't tied to the visuals and changing the order would make more sense for how English is usually worded...

It's a common saying that when you translate from Japanese to English, you translate from the back of the sentence. This is often (but not always) necessary as the two languages frequently present information in the opposite order from the other. However, this is a visual medium, so the order of information is often key to how the author wants to guide the reader. It's vital to respect the order in which authors want to reveal information. As such, compared to literary translation, manga translation generally only adjusts this order within single dialog sets--like I did in the above example. Sorry, a shorter, wordier thread this time around, but I wanted to lightly unpack one of the ways manga translators get around the limited physical space in which we have to write our translations".

[sunbloomdew]

oc inspired paintings :D

lyrics from "Message In A Bottle" by The Police

lyrics from "Tonight, Tonight" by The Smashing Pumpkins

see more about these pieces under cut :]

you don't have to, i was drinking melisa and as such was a bit sleepy while writing it. might not be very detailed or sensible lol

so, these are actually my ocs inspired paintings! first one is for haru and second one is for primrose. they are 'mirror characters' as i like to call them.

they were created alongside (more or less, the concept for them was anyway) and share themes and arcs in a way :)

now a little bit about the landscapes i picked and the songs.

"Message In A Bottle" is one of the songs from haru's playlist. There are a couple of reasons for why i chose it. First it's about loneliness which is a central aspect of haru's arc. they are a character who hates being alone and tries their hardest to make sure that doesn't happen. However in their pursuit of social renown and validation of a collective, they abandon the only people who loved them in the first place.

Loneliness is one of the things that prompted them to change in a way that would earn them approval of strangers and aquaintances. But their transformation ultimately didn't lead to them feeling better, instead it made them even more lonely - not able to connect with their newer friends and not able to open up to the old ones anymore.

The lyrics i chose have sort of a double meaning. It's how haru was feeling before their change begun. but it is also the way they are continue to feel, no matter how badly they deny it. the lyrics are also a contrast to their actual situation - they are surrounded by people who don't understand them - wether because they don't know them or don't know them anymore.

Second is the imagery. Haru was created for Our Life Beginnings and Always. While they are a spring themed character, i view them as the period of ending of spring and beginning of summer, so they embody both seasons to a degree. A castaway island in the song is something that i definitely associate with summer. And a summer, beach, california child is what haru tries to emulate, even if it's not truly what they are.

Third, it's a little inside joke with myself i have. i'm developing a pirate au with olba characters and ya know. bottle messages.... pirates......

Almost forgot but the last thing is that haru listens to a lot of 80s & 90s music, and this song came out in 1979 so. they definitely have heard it before. not their vibe but they thought it was okay.

anyhow, that song is fucking good, go give it a listen <3

and now for the second painting.

"Tonight, Tonight" is a song from Primrose's playlist. I think this song describes the uncertain nature of the future, but regardless of that, at this moment, tonight is tonight. There are things to come but not now. later. tomorrow. It ties into Primrose's arc.

At their core, Haru and Prim's stories are about change. Haru who rushes into things, changes themselves almost mechanically - with no regard for themselves or others, just to achieve their short-term goal. Primrose is going to be the opposite. A character who clings to the way things were, who never wants to plan for the future, afraid of what might change.

She is content to pretend that everything is just fine and things will go back to the way they were, losing herself in the comforts of her stories, books and the internet. Primrose is my Our Life Now and Forever character who is also spring themed except it's the winter-spring period. The change of the season is more visible and that makes her even less likely to accept it. The spring connection and imagery is more important here because spring is in a way a season opposite of fall. So part of the reason Primrose is afraid of change is her awareness of the fact that she doesn't really fit in Golden Grove.

Her journey will be about accepting that change in inevitable. And Haru's journey is about letting things be the way they are.

Her aversion to change is especially highlighted in her teenage years - everyone around her seems to be changing yet she is staying the same, not knowing if it's a bad thing or not, but not willing to find out either. I connect this song with her, because i feel like this is her expressing that she is not clueless about change but won't easily accept it either.

The lyrics are a bit of a foreshadowing to Prim's state as a young adult. People around her are figuring out their post high school plans, but she doesn't want to leave her hometown. "You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth." is the way she feels about leaving for university/college right away. It's also a bit more subtle in a way how growing up makes you leave some pieces of yourself behind, wether you want it or not.

I've been listening to other songs by The Smashing Pumpkins and what i like about them is that they aren't very direct with their meaning. It's a little bit how i want this character to be too. Maybe. Primrose isn't nearly as developed as Haru at the moment.

Some smaller things about the second painting. This song reads to me as Qiu/Primrose song specifically, step 2 one probably. I chose a forest with those type of trees because Rosie is Canadian and they have boreal forests there. Also i liked this imagery for her.

this song is good too, although i like "1979" from the same album more. still, give it a listen :3

i wanted to post some oc stuff, cause i get distracted by my other characters easily and start working on them, but i still wanna yell into the void about Haru and Rosie :]

toodles~

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Headcanons: The Westley Music Class Kids (Part 1)

Originally, I wanted to cover these characters one-by-one, however, I ended up running into a similar problem that I did when covering the Gangreen Gang as well as Rigby and Mordicai: It's really hard to talk about one without referring back to them as a group. I actually ran out of space writing this, so this post with cover about half of them and I'll have to talk about the rest later on.

Following Sunny's footsteps, rather than take up arms as soldiers, the band focuses on raising morale through their music. As they stay pretty busy and their families would also be greatly concerned if they travelled too far from home for too long, they don't leave the City area or split apart very often. In general, they are a strong, unified team.

Whenever the group does need to travel, finding the means of doing so typically lands on Eddie because of his family's wealth and connections. In fact, the Lawrences are one of the biggest backers for the Fusion Fighter radio network, inspired by their son and his friends to do their part in the war effort. (Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence are also relieved that this is one of the safer roles they could play if they have to get involved, and are always willing to pay for extra security to ensure their son's safety.)

Despite not being combatants, that isn't to say the group is completely defenseless either. Wherever they go, they are usually well-protected. A couple of them have also picked up a few means of self-defense since the war started. For example, Tamika usually keeps a small pistol or some kind of throwable weapon on-hand, matching any easily accessible weaponry for kids such as certain types of 2x4 technology, while Philly Phil is familiar with various pieces of tech to help keep track of roaming bands of fusion monsters. Even if they may not always follow safety protocols 100% of the time, they are aware of what they need to do when danger appears.

Out of all of them, Madison has the hardest time adjusting to life during the war. While she can be ditzy and her happy-go-lucky, head-in-the-clouds personality allows her to shake off most of the bad things that fall in her path, the everyday monster attacks do eventually wear her down. She still tries to stay upbeat, but she just can't escape into her own head as she could in other, much shorter-term situations. As such, she can find herself needing support as much as she is willing to give her support to others.

Madison is very familiar with imaginary friends, both from creating a few of her own when she was younger and from helping them when she can. Because of her bubbly, highly imaginative nature, she often connects with them very easily.

She is also the most empathetic when it comes to fusions of imaginary friends. Even if the news of how their imaginary energy affects their personalities to the point of breaking some of Fuse's influence over them isn't widely known, she already has an instinctual hunch that there's more to them than simply being evil copies. She willing to give fusions as a whole more of a chance as a result, sadly, whether or not those chances are deserved.

Kim places the most emphasis on reputation out of the group. During the war, her interest in fashion and trends has extended to a wider knowledge of the Fusion Fighters--both as a military force and the individuals within it. This is because, since fusion fighters have taken the spotlight, she knows of many in the same way she'd pay attention to the models and celebrities featured in her magazines. It gives her a wider understanding of what's going on in the world and hot to conduct herself in hot zones, even if she occasionally can get star-struck by certain heroes like Ben or Rex.

Her focus as a general percussionist also makes her the most versatile of the band kids. Even at times when Kim can't easily get her hands on an instrument, she can improvise well and share that sense of rhythm with other people. Other kids, particularly little ones, really enjoy these sessions.

Sunny has picked up on this as well, and so he'll work with Kim on developing pieces that utilize more body percussion. At first, it really made her feel underutilized as a musician since she does know how to play so many instruments. She had to see first-hand the effect this had: More people not only listened in, but actively participated in their music as it could be easily replicated by anyone, anywhere with limited resources. (For an irl example of this, think of how many more people know the rhythm and words to "We Will Rock You" over "We are the Champions" even though they're almost always played together. The former has a simpler beat to follow that encourages its audience to join in.) Since then, Kim enjoys taking the lead on these songs.

Lil'D is similar to Kim in this way, except it's almost impossible to separate him from the drums. Part of this is because it's the instrument he specializes in using, even though he can play other instruments as well; however, it also feels more integral to who he is as a musician. We see this importance in episodes like "The Devil and Lil'D," in which his drumsticks are tied to his identity. While not as utilized, an alternative he's explored as a result is street percussion. It's much rarer for the band to play this type of music, but has picked up a bit in places within the City.

Like in the show, Lil'D can sometimes let the fame go to his head. He occasionally forgets the true reason why music is important in times of crisis, or even where he is when crisis strikes--ignoring clear threats, such as fusion monsters in the area, when he's caught in his own head. When this happens, Sunny and his friends have to bring him back down to Earth. The gravity of the war has allowed him to mature a bit more in this regard, but he's still a kid and has a long way to go.

Despite this, his strong sense of confidence can also allow him to respond quicker to threats than the others as well. If push comes to shove and he and his friends are caught in a potentially dangerous situation with no one around to help, while he may not always make the right moves, his ability to react fast can protect them.

Being the most studious of the group, Kam is the most knowledgeable of what goes on during the war. With many schools shut down and people having to explore different ways of continuing their education from home or in new groups, the situation is extremely frustrating for him. You can bet he has countless apps and utilizes as many public resources as possible to continue learning on his own. More to the point though, paying more attention to the war effort itself as a result of these diverged studies has led to him experiencing a lot more fear than his bandmates. He can't shut his brain off, so worrying over the prolonged fighting can get to him. Thankfully, he has the perfect outlet for this by being in music.

Since the piano and keyboard aren't always available, like some of the other members of the Wesley Music class, he's had to find a more portable means of playing his preferred instruments. He's already had experience with the accordion and practices more with the keyguitar as a nice, added alternative.

Even with as much evidence as there is for magic and imaginary energy in FusionFall's world, just like in the Class of 3000 Christmas special, Kam doesn't put much stock into those things. As such, it takes a long time for him to accept anything of their nature and he prefers to listen to scientists/leaders that also lean away from those areas, like Princess Bubblegum.