#the hallmark of a well-written character

[astrophileous]

hi! is there any chance you could write a scenario for spencer with a plus sized reader? love your writing! congrats on the milestone and happy birthday month 💕

tyyy so much anon 🥺❤️ I hope you're happy with how this turned out 💞

Warning(s): fem!plus-sized!reader; I legit think there's no warning for this. not even swearing. but pls lmk???

This blurb was written as a part of the "Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K" celebration.

Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

Spencer looked down when he felt you shuffle against him. "Cold?"

The two of you were lounging on the couch with Spencer sitting on one of its end and your head leaning on his chest. Your legs were curled up on the cushion underneath a tiny blanket, the flimsy material barely doing anything as you pressed yourself even closer towards your boyfriend, trying to chase the warmth from his body heat to combat the chill running down your spine. Spencer noticed what you were trying to do and instantly tugged at the other blanket on his lap, laying the material gently around you and smiling when he heard you sigh in appreciation.

"What about you, Spence?"

"I'll be fine. I run hot."

"Mmh. Can't argue with that."

Spencer squeezed your thigh in response to your cheeky remark, your whole body shaking in laughter before you focused your attention back on the TV screen ahead.

It was a rarity for Spencer to find himself home safely at 8 o'clock on a Friday night, not to mention to have you home at the same time as him instead of at the ER tending to patients. On nights like this, Spencer made sure to always cherish the time with you in whatever way you liked, even if it meant he had to sit through nearly five hours of a Hallmark movie marathon after stuffing his stomach full with greasy Chinese takeouts.

The man was head over heels in love with you, and he would do just about anything to keep that mesmerizing smile permanently on your face.

"That's adorable," you said breathlessly after a few minutes of silence.

Spencer didn't want to admit that he had just spent the last ten minutes getting absolutely gobsmacked by your beauty, so he quickly tore his gaze away and directed it back towards the TV screen. His confusion only tripled in size when he saw that nothing particularly stood out from the scene. It was just another shot of the two main characters having yet another one of their silly little arguments as a cheesy jingle played in the background.

"What is happening?" Spencer asked at last.

You glanced at his question and scoffed. "You weren't paying attention again, were you?"

Spencer had the audacity to grin, and it was pretty lucky of him to have been blessed with such a pretty face that could melt even the hardest ice around your heart.

"Okay, handsome. Listen carefully. So, what happened is, the girl—"

"Bess?"

"Yes, Bess. Well, she and Aidan decided to meet for lunch to talk about the deed to the land, right? But that talk didn't really lead anywhere as they ended up fighting, again, and Bess walked away from the restaurant. Aidan ran after her and they fought again on the sidewalk, but then they got interrupted by the rain."

"Of course. The rain. How original."

You hid your bemused smile before continuing, "The two of them ran for cover in this little bookstore after that. Bess was shivering because she was wearing this little black thing, and Aidan noticed. So like the gentleman he is, he took off his suit jacket and gave it to Bess. They both ended up spending a couple of hours in that little bookstore waiting for the rain to stop, and Bess wore Aidan's jacket for the rest of the day. She didn't notice she still had it until she went home in the evening."

Spencer nodded along as he waited for your recount to finish, expecting to find clarity by the end of it only to be met with an even bigger confusion than before.

"I still don't get it. You thought that it was adorable that... they got caught in the rain?"

"And they call you a genius?" you teased, shrieking when Spencer lunged forward to tickle your sides. "No, silly. Not the rain. The jacket."

"The jacket?"

"Yeah. I think it's nice." You smiled, your eyes crinkling as you turned back towards the TV. "I've always loved that. When the guy gives something of his for the girl to wear. His T-shirt, his jacket, his sweater. Anything. The girl would wear his clothes and they'd usually look too big on her and it all just feels so... domestic. There's a sense of belonging in the gesture itself, sort of a non-verbal way of him claiming the girl as his. A little territorial, perhaps. But I personally find the whole thing adorable."

After he was done hearing your explanation, Spencer found himself at loss for words. "I didn't know that. That's actually a thing?"

"It's a pretty common trope in romance books and movies. One of my favorites, too."

"And you like that? Having your boyfriend lend you his clothes to wear?"

"Well, I don't know. I, uh, I actually never tried it myself." You suddenly grew bashful as you started playing with the hem of your pajamas top. "Everyone I've dated has always been smaller than me, so I never got the chance to experience any of that."

"Sweetheart—"

"Relax, Spencer. It's fine," you assured him. "I'm not sad about it. Do I feel like missing out sometimes? Yes, maybe, but it's not like it's the end of the world. I'll survive just fine. Promise."

You resumed watching the rest of the movie after that, the short conversation being shoved to the back of your mind as you relished in the final scene of the movie where the guy, finally and inevitably, managed to win over the girl with an arduous chase through the airport concluded by a romantic confession in front of gate 4E.

After movie night on Friday, the following week unraveled in a hectic frenzy for you. The ER where you worked saw a full house nearly every single night, forcing you to take not only one, not two, but three extra shifts in a single week. By the time the next Friday rolled around, you were exhausted beyond belief, collapsing face first into bed as soon as you arrived home without even waiting for Spencer to get back from his week-long case in Idaho.

The following morning, you woke up to a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. You followed the scent in your sleepy haze until you came face to face with your boyfriend standing behind the stove, unruly curls and a handsome smile as he glanced up at the sound of your footsteps. You couldn't even imagine how dishelved you looked in that moment—with dried drool around your lips and pillow imprints on your cheek—but the way Spencer assessed you from the distance, it made you feel as though you were meant to be sculpted as a flawless copy of Aphrodite herself.

"Good morning, gorgeous," your boyfriend greeted as he pushed a plate of pancakes across the counter. "Breakfast?"

The two of you spent the entirety of breakfast telling each other about your respective week while enjoying Spencer's pancakes that, surprisingly, tasted even better than they smelled. After the dishes were washed, Spencer grabbed your hand and started leading you back towards your shared bedroom.

"Come with me for a moment. I wanna show you something," he said.

You trailed after Spencer in curiosity, compliantly fulfilling his order to sit on the bed as he vanished into the ensuite. Three minutes later, Spencer reappeared in front of you, donning a grin so enormous that it nearly distracted you from the foreign pair of clothes he had changed himself into.

"What do you think?" Spencer asked enthusiastically.

"What do I think?"

"Yeah!"

"It's cute, Spencer. Is it new?" Spencer nodded eagerly, confirming your suspicion. "I see. It's kinda... too big for you, don't you think?"

The hoodie Spencer was wearing came in your favorite color, but it hung on his lanky frame almost like a poncho. Spencer still looked good in it, though. You admired his talent to still appear attractive even when he was wearing something that didn't fit him properly.

"I picked out a bigger size on purpose," Spencer revealed, taking off the hoodie before extending it towards you. "Here, try it. I went two sizes above your usual so it should feel roomy."

Your perplexed stare zeroed in on the clothing in Spencer's hand. "Wait. I don't understand. Did you buy this for me?"

"Um, no? Well, technically yes." Spencer rubbed his neck, suddenly turning sheepish as his gaze found your eyes. "Remember last week when you told me about girls borrowing their boyfriends' clothes? And how you never got to experience that? Well, I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went ahead and ordered this hoodie for myself but in a larger size. That way, you can steal it from me from time to time. Have something of mine you can wear when you want to."

Silence descended into the room in the wake of Spencer's declaration.

His heart was a sonorous thumping inside his chest. Spencer waited for you to say something, but your voice never came. It wasn't until the first sob broke through the quietude did Spencer realize that you were actually crying.

"Sweetheart? Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?"

The man knelt in front of you in no time, his palm clenching at the side as if he was ready to go into battle to fight whatever or whoever caused the shed tears in your eyes. You lifted your head just enough to see him, smiling shakily when you saw the taut lines above the bridge of his nose.

"I can't believe you bought this hoodie for me," you muttered once your sobs had subsided.

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief. "That's why you cried? Because I bought you a hoodie?"

"It's not just because of a hoodie, Spence. It's the fact that you cared. You listened to my silly thoughts and you remembered." You brought your hand up to cup his cheek, feeling him melt against the touch. "This is the nicest, most considerate thing anyone has ever done for me."

"That just breaks my heart, gorgeous. You deserve so much more. I'm literally doing the bare minimum."

"No, you're not. You're doing so much. You're doing everything, Spencer."

You kissed him, then. Urgently and vehemently; trying to convey just how intensely your heart felt for him. When you pulled away, Spencer was wearing a big smile undoubtedly identical to your own.

"I love you so much, Spencer. You know that, right?"

Spencer's smile blossomed. In his heart, he sketched the way your face looked in that moment to burn your beauty into the depth of his mind.

"Not as much as I love you, sweetheart."

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

[smokestarrules]

what are your fave warrior nun fics?

Oh, anon. You don't even know the can of worms you've just opened. Here are a few (a few!) of my favorites.

Firstly, teach me to love, as you have loved me by @birgittesilverbae. It's in the POV of Beatrice as she grows up in the OCS, putting Shannon, Mary and Lilith in the limelight as well, and the most recent chapter (12k!) has gone through essentially all of canon. It's about grief and family and warmth and loss and it's so fucking good. Cannot recommend this more.

Next I have sunday people (sunday shines for you) by @piratekane. Sundays are for the girls, by the way. if you even care. This is peak pining behavior, miscommunication that isn't just there for the dramatics, and Ava being The Best Girl Ever (and the most jealous girl ever). Fantastic fic.

Then there's show me something of a reckoning by @thirteenyasmin, which is a given, of course. Switzerland canon-divergent fic where, as the tags say, fake-dating becomes real-dating. As they deserve. Has some lines that will tear your soul to pieces in the best way.

Next is Nice jugs, a climbing AU by @cowboycatd. Do you know anything about climbing? No? Me, neither. But this series of fics describes it--alongside exceptionally-written flirting--masterfully. You should read Climbing AU.

Then I have falling (for you) like snow on christmas by @justawhitewall. Hallmark movie AU! They're much better when they're Avatrice, by the way. I read it during the posting and have reread it at least once a month ever since. Incredible.

Spellbound by @omomoification. Witch (kinda) AU! Will sweep you away into the world that's created and you won't even notice as the 15k goes by in a flash. Fucking gorgeous piece of art. Made me insane, made some people break the character limit while commenting.

the imprint of your soul on mine (feels nothing short of divine) by @the-penguinspy. Read this if you're feeling down, because you won't be when you're done. The softest thing you could ever read, and I read a lot of soft things. Fic that gives you a hug and a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

And last but certainly not least, A Bit of Earth by @whatwordsmiss. Full fic isn't posted yet but it is written, and this story is just... wonderful. It's about grief, it's about growing up, it's about falling in love and healing together and healing apart and being kind and, sometimes, in particular moments, it's about a Garden. A must-read.

[fine-nephrit]

🥏 TXF Fic Rec #42: "Universal Invariant" by Syntax6

It’s rare to find a novel-length, all-encompassing fic set in season 1. Today’s fic is exactly that: a celebrated classic exploring a ‘what if’ scenario where Scully’s deleted live-in boyfriend, Ethan, sticks around. The story begins with Scully’s assignment to the X Files in the ‘Pilot’ and concludes with her return from abduction in ‘One Breath’.

We get to experience the M/S dynamic right from the very beginning, watching their partnership evolve from suspicion to trust, with a repressed, burgeoning attraction. In Syntax6’s skillful hands, you know what that means: lots of delicious, in-character UST.

Ethan plays a major role, adding to the emotional tangle. The ‘Other’ character is often reduced to a flat plot-device or crudely villainized, but Syntax6’s characters are always likable and sympathetic. She writes the best ‘/Other’ plot in this fandom, enhancing the journey to MSR.

It’s a lot of fun to see how the story neatly interweaves with canon episodes, a hallmark of Syntax6’s writing. What’s more, She’s best known for her case files, and there’s a strong original casefile tossed in the mix, which I enjoyed immensely. And we get another of her signature moves: a very hot, well-written sex scene with explosive intensity, placed at the perfect spot in the story. She really does it all, and makes it look effortless.

---

🥏 on author's site

author: @syntax6 length: novel, 80,000+ words season: season 1, early season 2 pairing(s): M/S UST, Scully/Ethan, Mulder/Other tags: AU, episode-related, casefile, angst, Mytharc, abduction arc, jealousy, amnesia, good OCs rating: explicit/NC-17

tagging @today-in-fic

[thephantomcasebook]

Where is my Aemond, "I will stand deathly close to massive dragon to protect my sweet sister" Targaryen on the show? Cause I think the writers lost him and can't find him!

I think people need to remember Condal and Hess were replaced by the showrunner of "The Crown" early in production.

Remember, Condal and Hess missed the deadlines for scripts ... twice. They also delayed production of Season 2 for months because they couldn't finish the scripts in a timely manner.

"Blood and Cheese" was given to Sara Hess and another female writer and they had to redraft 4 times because it was continuously sent back and it actually got worse and worse, till GRRM came in and rewrote from scratch the entire episode in the eleventh hour.

Warner went out of pocket to get a ghost showrunner to come in as a ringer and get production off the ground as well as edit the scripts while Condal and Hess fucked off for the writers strike.

The things you are seeing on screen are a jumble of Condal and Hess's ideas patch worked by someone who knows absolutely dick about ASoIaF or the characters beyond what he read in the show bible.

The reason the ghost showrunner is not credited is because he's not a part of the American Writer's Guild thus the studio is not obligated to put his name on screen. Also he was brought in as a fixer to get production back on track and to script doctor Condal and Hess's shit work on the scripts.

So, if characters like Aemond, Alicent, and Criston are not acting like you'd expect them to be or the way they were in Season 1, it's because they're being rewritten by someone who doesn't really know the characters or the book lore. They're being doctored by someone the studio paid to take over for incompetent producers.

The scenes with Otto, Aegon, and Criston and especially the fight between Rhaenyra and Daemon, along with the shot compositions of the flower peddles that Helaena sees along with the dust motes that Rhaenyra stares at. These are all artistic hallmarks and signatures of "The Crown". The ghost showrunner was brought in because of his experience writing royal family drama.

The reason the Greens are written the way they are is because the ghost showrunner is basing them off of the British Royal Family dynamics of the Royal House of Windsor. With politically and public relations minded patriarchs and cold detached matriarchs that don't know how to show love. Because, these are the main tenants of "The Crown" and the characters/historical figures in them that he wrote for years.

So the quality of acting is elevated because the ringer they got is really excellent at directing and writing character drama. But the lore and the characters are off, because, he doesn't know anything about the characters beyond what he's seen in Season 1 and read from Condal and Hess's rejected scripts and their show bible.

[lavellane]

ok i have avoided talking abt my datv thoughts but now ive finished and slept on it here it is. this is huge btw and really just a way to process my thoughts for my own peace of mind. and get out what i need to say. so yeah word salad below

2 disclaimers before i start. firstly i think im going to be SUPER blunt and clear about my thoughts on this post but then i will mostly be putting the matter to bed in my heart bc i am not someone who delights in being a hater nor do i take comfort in it. i will take from this the things i enjoyed and keep my distance from the rest. second disclaimer: ultimately i think i will still enjoy being a part of the fandom and seeing other people enjoy the game, because it will endear it to me and maybe take away the pain im feeling right now, so this isnt a long rant to make you feel bad about enjoying the game if you do like it! in fact quite the opposite. it comforts me that there are people who find value in the game and i hope in watching you play it i may be able to eventually be able to say the same

that being said . obviously i didnt like the game

which is an extremely difficult thing for me to say. i went into this game thinking "i will at the VERY least enjoy the game. not love it but at least like it. but im sure ill love it". it really is quite distressing for me that it didnt even really reach that bar for the most part. i TRIED to like it. i begged this game to give me ANY handhold at all that i could cling to, to forgive and like this game. i think the things i liked err more on the technical side. the graphics i loved, the character DESIGN was *fantastic*. the art. the pacing. the vague vision of what they were obviously nebulously aiming for. and honestly, i mostly enjoyed the main plot although i wish it had been more disciplined and constrained with the lore it was trying to expand on. act 3 was fantastic and naturally i am happy and fulfilled for the most part by the conclusion of solas's story, who i still believe was and is the best written "villain" of dragon age. sorry logang and meredith nation but i do still stand by this.

but thats really about it. as a disclaimer i am not an origins puritan or a da2 diehard or anything like that. i have loved (almost equally) EVERY single iteration of dragon age which has been released. i am one of the few people who sees equal value in inquisition and origins. i love them both so deeply. i couldnt pick between them.

for me what i love the MOST about dragon age - and which every single previous game has always nailed despite other flaws - is the characters. right under that is the world's capacity for introspection. and unfortunately nothing in this game provided that for me

regarding the characters: i do not care about a single one of them unfortunately. or at least i do not CARE about them the way that i have CARED about the other previous games companions. companions i would write banter about !!! just for fun when i was bored!!!! i would say my only exception is harding, but even then i care about her only because i care about her due to inquisition. overall i just found them all so ..... shallow. and devoid of any of the conflict or nuance or ethical quandries that make biowares stories so compelling - and sure, usually controversial! i would give ANYTHING for this game to have been controversial. for a unforgivable RO, or a problematic fave, or a cancelled wife. did bioware forget that their most beloved or at least enjoyed characters are people like anders, merrill, mordin solus, blackwall, sten, loghain, SOLAS??? i dont understand HOW they could have forgotten that, because solas is literally right there in game and handled (in my opinion as a fan) well. love him or hate him or dont care about him, he is such a hallmark of great bioware writing (in dai if nothing else) - characters who are not EASY to like. characters who are not SAFE to write and who WILL generate criticism from all sides because they are written boldly and unapologetically, strengthened by a foundation of consistent ideals, clear objectives and beautiful faults. characters that do not NEED you to like them, but instead invite you to engage with them critically. solas, even to someone who hates him, is nuanced and morally complex enough to muse and fight over for 10 whole years. hes IN this game, just as ethically murky as ever, but the morally grey hallmark of biowares writing really does kind of live and die with him alone. the rest of the companions feel like they barely made it out of their concept phase. what are lucanis's flaws??? genuinely asking. other than being a murderer who exists in an organization which buys and trains literal child slaves of course, but i'll get to that in a sec (because bioware sure as fuck didnt). um, i guess you could say hes broody?? and emmrich too. what actual flaws does he have?? he has a fear of death, as we're TOLD, but it does not really reflect in the overall convesations we have with him over the course of the game. mostly hes just.... a little bumbling i guess. bellara's flaw is being a scatterbrain. harding's is that shes..... angry??? but shes not???? fucking come on. i really felt the lack of actually being able to TALK to these people at the end of act 2, when i realized i still felt like i havent really MET any of them. and yet here rook is talking about found family and being a team. ok

and then there are the romances. which from my perspective - having romanced taash - and my friends who have romanced lucanis, neve and davrin..... WHAT romances. davrin's full romance is 20 minutes in a 30 PLUS HOUR GAME. solas had the least amount of content out of any companion in inquisition and was a last minute unintentional RO and still had like easily 50 minutes of content. so why did these romances feel like nothing. actually nothing. i was so excited for taash, but their romance straight up felt like neither rook nor taash even wanted to be there. i forgot they were technically together at certain points. zero chemistry. zero intimacy. all TELLING zero SHOWING. if you had told me that i would be saying these sorts of things about a writer like trick weekes a month ago i would call you fucking crazy to your face. i cannot reconcile that taash was written by the same person who wrote solas. i cannot reconcile that mary kirby - who wrote the fucking chant of light - wrote lucanis. its so dire. its devastating actually.

lastly i want to talk about my other point - bioware's famed emphasis on introspection and ethically quandries. again, i'm genuinely experiencing a sense of profound whiplash because when it comes solas's character you can still see it. its still there. they actually doubled down on making him worse than he was in trespasser which i LOVED and thought was so incredibly promising. they could have caved to solavellan fans and uwu-ified him but they didnt. thats great.

but where was that energy for literally anything else. everything has been defanged - even minrathous, the capital of the tevinter slave trade, does not even ADDRESS the elephant in the room of slavery. and i know because i played a shadow dragon. so tell me why i as a shadow dragon am happily allied with the crows, who solely exist to assassinate politicians and BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES AS CHILDREN AND TRAIN/TORTURE THEM TO MURDER. HELLO??????????? there is no commentary made about the mages/templars. there is no discussion of the treatment of the elves in the north or Anywhere. there is no discussion of why exactly blood magic is or isnt acceptable - they simply tell us its bad. all the theories of the last 10 years were answered with handwaved comments or bare bones codex entries that honestly stripped so much nuance away from so many things (the blight, my BELOVED) that i dont know how im going to go about fixing it or making it right in my head. the introspective nature of dragon age always went hand in hand with player choice, but there really WAS no choice in this game as so there IS no real capacity for other interpretations or schools of thought. it is so..........................bleak.

i think the thing that finally made it click in my head that this game had fundamentally let me down was the gloom howler quest. and i know im not alone on this. for those of you who dont know - the gloom howler, "isseya" was the protagonist of the dragon age novel "the last flight". i would HIGHLY recommend you read it, especially if you're an origins fan. super bleak, super political, not flashy at all in terms of magic. it was set 500 years pre origins, during the 3rd blight. isseya is very similar to characters like loghain and solas in a way - a richly complex, beautifully intricate, terribly thought provoking character who did HORRIFIC things for the most NOBLE reason you could imagine, under the most traumatic of circumstances. im tearing up just thinking about her story, and how the title "the LAST flight" foreshadowed that her story had a definitive, bittersweet, finite and peaceful ending.

and then this game did THAT to her. turned her into a grotesque caricature of what she was. stripping her of her nuance and her capacity for atonement or forgiveness. and once again, i do not fucking get it. she was obviously brought back because she is a parallel to the solas dilemma. so WHY is she not afforded the same opportunity for empathy that he is. why is bellara's brother not either. its insane. its literally insane. i cannot begin to imagine the oversight or laziness or WHATEVER IT WAS that occured to have this game turn out this way.

there are innumerable other problems with the game that im not going to get into because what ive said above is the main crux of my problem. introspective and character. those are all i really wanted from this game, and like..... i thought we would get that. because the game centered around solas. and i know people dislike his fans for very fair reasons, but i hope those who know me know that i enjoy him not because hes hot (he is though) but because he is terrible. i love him because they made a character who was TERRIBLE, and then gave you the task of using your head and refelcting on your own morality and values and deciding and arguing and meditating over whether he is worth loving anyway. to me, solas is the person i point to when i want to describe why i love dragon age. its complicated, its nuanced, it is terrible and wonderful and everything in between depending on the angle you look at it from. and so having the writer of a character like THAT in charge of the whole game filled me with hope and dissuaded so many of my fears for this game. but i was wrong apparently.

so now im left with a feeling akin to survivors guilt. genuinely. because at the VERY least, despite me saying all of these negative things, i at least finished the game crying happy tears and being overjoyed that my favourite character was handled well and got an ending i enjoyed. and yet that happiness *i* got to feel and that glimmer of good writing was paid for at the expense of literally everything else. i feel almost personally responsible in a way, which sucks. im sorry to all the people who did not enjoy or care about solas, im sorry that you really did get nothing out of this game. i hope we can all be comforted by the trilogy we have and will always have, and i hope we can all take what good parts we enjoyed out of veilguard and make peace with the rest

leaving this youtube comment my friend sent me which is unfortunately a summary of how i feel about the game as a whole.

[call-of-ishmael]

The Last Ishmael OCD Post

One of my first times that i dabbled into character analysis was about Ishmael's OCD, people like that post but i really feel i could have done better

Canto V was my last major chapter i was willing to read. As i put more distance between me and the story, i want one final farewell in the form of finally fixing up my analysis

PART I: THE META-TEXTUAL

Before i delve into the writing itself, here is some pointers the story gives to her OCD in the form of flavor text and descriptions.

Firstly we have her Bio

This is easy to miss as its just a tiny blurb above her whole intro blurb.

Now, "obsessive compulsive neurosis" is a very weird way to phrase it, "obsessive compulsive" is clear enough but "neurosis" is odd, this is not TOO odd though, as "neurotic" used to be how OCD was classified as a disorder.

However if we look at her bio in Korean, the particulars do simply straight up say "OCD" very clearly, you'd need to MTL but this was also confirmed to me by a friend from SK

The sinner bios are biased though, and are written through a very corporate lens, so lets see if there's any other pointers elsewhere

Her base EGO, Snagharpoon, actually does just that

Her passives name is called "Compulsion" and in its gameplay design its a very interesting way to also point to it

Ishmael is a very all or nothing person, you do it well or you don't do it at all, and this is reflected on how this passive aids you to play

This passive is excellent for boosting the consistency of playing by only going for "Favored" or "Dominating" clashes, while punishing you for taking chances on clashes you MIGHT win

Base ID Ishmael is also a unit with all single coins, rolling tails puts her in a very unfavorable position so this also adds an extra safety net on top. Worth noting being all single coins is also a high risk high reward type of play style.

Finally we see two more pointers id like to note, both from Canto V

The Compulsive`s Knot, an ego gift themed after a naval rope, one of many in the dungeon all alluding to her struggles.

Most obviously though

Her exclusive status effect, Compulsion. This is in direct reference to her EGO passive, providing an attack boost at the same time it provides a drawback in the form of low SP.

We are gonna talk a bit more about this passive since it ties into another gameplay oriented way to point towards her OCD

During the story dungeon we have an event where a noise is heard, you are given two choices, check, gain SP, don't check, lose SP.

Compulsive checking is probably the most well known (to the conditions detriment we will talk about it later) hallmark of OCD

Notably, this doesn't aid Ishmael, while checking can avoid the combat encounter, not checking only has a chance of triggering it, and most interestingly, her SP will always start at -25 during combat encounters. Meaning the temporary boost in her sanity will just get reset next battle, should you decide to check. Checking wont satisfy her anxiety for more than a brief moment.

Lastly the most obvious ones are all the references to Obsession. These are so abundant i feel if you are familiar with the Canto its redundant to have them, i wanted to draw more attention to the allusions to compulsion, as they are less common.

PART II: BEFORE THE STORM

Even since before her own Canto, we can see Ishmael's ruminating and anxious tendencies pop up during previous chapters, which for OCD is important to explore as OCD is an anxious and ruminating disorder.

So lets talk a little bit about OCD! Its a disorder characterized by repetitive and constant intrusive urges to perform a task or a thought (lets keep this in mind for later)

These thoughts or actions are used to try to relieve stress from an anxiety inducing thought or situation. The most common example is OCD exacerbating germ phobia, and causing people who have it to wash their hands in excess.

While OCD is usually described as "irrational thoughts" i feel that's a pretty limited way to view it in my own experience with it. OCD compulsions and thoughts can be informed by very real worries, the worry of getting sick, of making the wrong moral choices, of hurting others. Being clean is a normal and a good practice to stave off getting sick, its the frequency and intensity that turns it maladaptive, OCD turns your own lived fears and traumas against you, and those might very well be real things to worry about, which makes dealing with it very hard.

Enough of that off to the writing!

Lets start with Canto II

This is the first example of her constant need for a lack of ambiguity, previous to this we see her complain about the treatment the sinners are receiving from Effie and Saude, skeptical of the whole deal.

Until shes shown the plans, they are so well crafted shes able to anchor to that and calm down.

This by itself is not really much other than being very detail oriented, lets look a bit further into the chapter

Here we see that aspect elaborated upon more, this moment is framed as a very important one between Dante and Ishmael in their dynamic later on, Ishmael is incredibly upset at the plan having fallen apart so quickly, while yes this is not unreasonable to be upset at, her anger is remarked on by Dante and Gregor as very intense and unusual. This in my opinion is a minor but clear indication her need for planning and considering every option is due to a deep anxiety, but don't take it from me, lets look at Canto III

Here we are told pretty explicitly, Ishmael moving quickly and asking lots of questions is something Dante has noted as an anxious habit.

And here we have more elaboration on what exactly that moment at the Casino meant for Ishmael, it was enough anger and disappointment she has stopped expecting Dante to perform well and instead taken it upon herself to see things go according to plan, this is VERY important to her.

And her worries, are repetitive enough to annoy others, and to be remarked upon by Dante.

This is perhaps the more notable chain of events to point out previous to her chapters aside from 4.5, as it helps contextualize all her usual ways of acting in a more complete light, showing a lot of this is driven by a deep anxiety

And this all makes S.E.A all the more interesting as it pays off on this.

Something i quite enjoy about Limbus is how it re-contextualizes things characters have previously done and said. And the events of S.E.A and Canto V bring a lot of interesting stuff to the table

Lets get cracking with this chapter

In general shes extremely confrontational, and tense, more than usual

But its her anxious outbursts i wanna focus on, what she puts

emphasis on.

This chapter is so crucial in this whole analysis. We see some behaviors way more clearly now, firstly we see her emphasize her need to be absolutely 100% prepared for this, no ambiguity no risks she wants certainty.

But we see something even more clearly and that's her ruminating behaviors, shes brought up things like this to a smaller extent before like commenting on a lot of aspects but here we see in full display her inner world become externalized, shes started voicing worries shes never voiced before can Dante turn them back always? What if Dante dies? What if the sinners get eaten can that be turned back?

And these don't all get brought up immediately, she mentions them in different conversations, pointing to the fact shes constantly going over the subject in her head with no pause, and she gets frustrated when she cannot work on these worries when she cant do anything to quell the anxiety.

And the last part, when Dante finds her so fixated in her planning its impossible to even talk to her. She has to perform some action do something to stave off the disaster she can see coming in her head

As someone with OCD inevitably i have to mention the personal component that drew me to analyze this was how real this feels to when you spiral

A lot of the times OCD is explained as the compulsions being something you do cause you feel its a sort of ritual to stave off disaster. Its in this way i see it reflected in this moment.

As we see with Heathcliff acting as her foil, he points out her worrying is really not doing much other than just her talking and talking, and by the state shes in when Dante checks in on her, aimless not even paying attention to anything else we see the main objective of the planning really isn't practical as much as a compulsive coping mechanism.

She has to do something

PART III: INTO THE DARK

Lots to cover and honestly i will make a companion post to this with all the examples, so for this section i wanna cover some highlights instead, as well as a general discussion of the tone.

The way this chapter is structured is very interesting, its really reflective of the mental state of Ishmael. The chapter feels really aimless, they wander around not really ever finding what they need, which drives Ishmael more and more tense and frustrate

Its a good continuation to how we see her by the end of S.E.A fixated on one goal one thing

As previously stated shes inflicted with a constant special and unique to her status effect called "Compulsion" as covered in Part I

Her behavior is also reflective of this

For a good part of the first third of the chapter shes in her room, the whole time whetting her harpoon, nonstop

However you might notice compulsion is not as present as obsession, and compulsion is also important to OCD its in the acronym! And i have seen others point to it too

However id like you to remember, in the post earlier i said thoughts can fit into OCD, compulsions can be mental and sometimes almost exclusively or mostly mental. Its even in the DSM noted that for diagnosis the compulsions to count you for a diagnosis can be mental in nature

Its in this aspect that i feel Ishmael shines a lot

In general OCD in media is lacking in representation and is often a trait given to assholes or villains

The normal conception of OCD in movies or TV is of neat freaks or control freaks, Compulsion is usually heavily emphasized when it isn't the whole picture

Often ignored though is the aspect of Obsession, some people can have Purely Obsessional OCD (Pure O), this isn't a formal diagnosis or term but its colloquially used by people who have it. Its a bit of a misnomer, as compulsions are present but internalized as mental rituals or rumination

Usually its harder to diagnose, its harder to treat as there's no apparent compulsions others can see, and the people having it seem pretty high functioning to the people around them.

This can be noticed though in people avoiding certain subjects, avoidant behaviors can be the clearest external behavior.

I personally read Ishmael as having more mental compulsions, the way she tends to be a more ruminating and anxious character than outwardly compulsive

During S.E.A and Canto V we see outward compulsions more but from the examples from previous Cantos we can see that's not her usual and she operates more on anxious overthinking most of the time.

However another aspect that ties into mental compulsions is in the previously mentioned avoidant behaviors, we see her isolate and try to stave of having to deal with her worries in both S.E.A and the beginning of Canto V when shes in her room, in both cases doing some excessive preparation in a compulsive way.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

As previously stated Canto V deserves its own companion post, and ill work on that later, i feel this encapsulates what i wanted to say well enough.

I wanted to discuss the previous signs of her behaviors that make me certain her OCD is an intended textual read, and in my opinion a well executed one

Canto V was hard to read as it felt very real and very familiar to the worst times i have had due to my OCD.

Shes a character that despite my distaste i have developed for the franchise, it will never stop meaning a lot to me same as her chapter will always be a piece of storytelling that affected me deeply in ways others haven't

To close i want to leave off what i feel encapsulates the feeling pretty well, in my favorite moment with the membrane consuming her as a metaphor for letting fear, anger, obsessions and compulsions cloud your mind until you forget why you were even there

To you, dear reader, Bon Voyage

[impala-dreamer]

Yes, it’s that time again. As an oversized turkey thaws in your fridge and Mariah Carey starts doing her vocal warm ups, it’s time to think about gifting something special to those you love.

Why not give the fanfic lover in your life a custom written fanfiction designed and starring Them?!

Imagine the joy on your bestie’s face as they read about riding in the Impala with Dean and singing along to their favorite song! The magical feeling they’ll get when Bucky rescues them and his prickly exterior softens at their touch… Or hell- get one for yourself and read the story you’ve always dreamed about but couldn’t find ;)

So many possibilities and stories to tell!

Read on for more info and please, reblog to spread the word. 💖

How does it work?

You send me a message and we discuss what type of story you’d like. If I think I can do it properly for you- it’s a go!

You provide details about the character (you, someone else, multiples). Stories can be OFC, Actual People, or Reader Insert.

You leave me alone for a few days and when I return, you’ll get a PDF file of your fic (including custom art) emailed right to you ready for gifting! (gift wrap not included)

What fandoms are you writing for lately?

Any fandom can be negotiated provided I am familiar with it and feel like I would do the details justice. Ex: I’ve watched football, but I’m not gonna write a great football story bc I just don’t get it. ;)

Fandoms I am currently comfy with:

Supernatural, Supernatural RPF (Mostly all ships!)

The Boys, The Boys RPF

The Walking Dead, TWD RPF

Marvel (Cap, Bucky, Thor, Wanda, Sam), Marvel RPF (Evans & Stan)

Criminal Minds

The Hunger Games

The Magicians (Ships too!)

Random RPF Actors/Singers

What Kind of Story Can You Do?

Anything. No, wait. I’m afraid you don’t believe me. I mean… ANY T H I N G. You want hardcore smut that borders on problematic? I’m in. You want the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed and would make Hallmark movies cringe? I got you. Angst? Dark stuff? General? Literally Anything you want. I only have one or two things I’m not comfortable with but that can all be discussed in private, and honestly, after almost 10 years doing this, no one’s ever come close to asking for them so you’re 1000% good to ask for whatever.

What’s the bottom line here?

Well, your story, which will be anywhere from 1,000 - 20,000 words depending on how wordy I get, will be a flat rate of $25. This includes my full attention to your story from start to finish, accompanying art, specific detail inclusion, and an emailed PDF file that you can print out or delete, or whatever you want. It’s yours.

I do not write for word counts, only the story. If your complete story can be told in 1k words, that’s great. If it takes another 40,000 and we end up with a novel, that’s great for you and I won’t charge you any more for it! I’m more worried about giving you the best story I can than worrying about word counts.

Commissions are open now until Christmas Eve Eve (Dec 23, 2023).

I will only take FIVE commissions at any time, so best to get to me first. First come, first serve, then I go down the line.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I’m not scary.

You can also check out my Tumblr Masterlist for examples of my work incase you’re unsure. And… just a reminder, Patrons get a discount!

Much love and wishes for an awesome end of the year,

Beka <3

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[folklauerate]

I’ll say something else while I’m here-one of my biggest issues with Bridgerton s2 was the lack of cohesiveness. Jesus Christ no one is upset with characters making unlikable decisions and if you want a wedding for the sake of drama, Shondaland, have a fucking wedding, but make it earned! And on top of that, the wedding episode had the fucking audacity to be boring as shit! Just all trodding on and operating off of the assumption the viewer would be aghast and would sit through nearly an hour of boring yawn snooze because there were “stakes” and it seemed like the main pair might not get together. Like for fuck’s sake have as much drama as you like but at least make it well written! Instead the wedding episode is a dirge and not because it’s a reflection of some character’s mental state or any seemingly deep reason, no; it’s like they decided there would be a wedding and shrugged when it came to getting the character’s there. It doesn’t count as good writing if you’ve spent the past months/years trying to wrap your head around or write fic around the reasons why x decision by y characters make sense to fill in gaps that shouldn’t be there in the first place and that’s all this fandom has done.

People’s issue with side plots taking up too much time isn’t really that they take up too much time-it’s that none of them follow a set of overarching themes of the season and feed into them or a main storyline in a significant way, giving the illusion to the viewer that they’re completely separate from the romance at the core and therefore taking away from it, as opposed to everything being harmonious.

On top of that, the characterizations are so fucking varied and there’s a large tonal shift between s1 and s2 in terms of the way the Bridgersibs interact with one another. Siblings can fight and be rude and whatever to one another but for them to turn into completely different people out of nowhere is so ??

And on the topic of characterizations-WHERE WAS KATE’S??? Anthony gets 28363938 motivations for why he is the way he is and then is honestly left floundering with all of them, until you’re honestly a bit ?? as to why he can’t marry for love, and then you get Kate who is just… There. Why can’t she marry for love? Why is she hellbent against marrying? Why is she prioritizing her family’s finances and Mary/Edwina above herself? What conversations did she have with her father before he died to make her this way or was she always like this? What were their lives like in India? I could keep going! At least in the book you get some half hearted “I’m too ugly and old to get a match” reason but in the show no one is going to fucking believe Simone Ashley is too ugly or old to get whatever lord she wants 😭✋ and THEN???? To top it all off-Kate and Anthony don’t have a single meaningful discussion around an entire eight episodes!!!!! Not one!!!!!!!!! What fucking growth happens between them fucking and the coma and then their fucking dance to have them propose? If the actors themselves had to invent all these so called secret conversations their characters had in between everything to make things make sense, I really don’t think that’s a hallmark of good writing. They rush that happy ending in there at the end and it feels like they forgot they had to end the fucking show with these two characters together and they just said “fuck it let them kiss” and that’s what we got. WHAT CONVERSATION OF SUBSTANCE DID THEY HAVE. And what fucking argument can you make that it’s okay that it didn’t happen on screen??) NONE!!! It’s TV! It’s a VISUAL FORMAT??? Oh my god.

I told myself I wouldn’t rant about this, just redirect people to walle’s thoughts on this, which is (in her own words) how she sat shiva for the fucking wreck of what Bridgerton s2 is. Walle if you don’t know wrote a thousand cuts and s2 was the nail in the coffin for her. It was so so so bad. It went against such basic principles of storytelling. The writing was so abhorrent. It was insane. And to defend it feels more insane it feels like you’ve been taken hostage by this damn show and you’re writing thinkpieces on tumblr and twitter to make it make sense!

What grates me is that it really could’ve been good. The juice was there. The actors are amazing. The production team is clearly so so dedicated and hard working. IT WAS ALL THERE. Honestly the way the show was marketed in the trailer feels completely different from how it came out and I have to think there was some fuckshit going on behind the scenes given the large tonal shift during/after ep 4 and CVD’s hasty and odd departure.

[captainhunnicutt]

I've often thought that BJ displayed a sense of humor that was both subtle and sophisticated. Sure, sometimes he's outright ridiculous but there's this cutting edge to his humor that I think is unique in a lot of ways. (NOTE: This is not to say no other character is funny, displays a sophisticated sense of humor etc. They are. They do.)

Now, I won't claim to 1.) be the funniest person (I sometimes have a few funny moments) or 2.) knows the "ins and outs" of W.C. Fields but BJ's approach to humor (or at least how the writers wrote BJ and seemed to approach his sense of humor), while unique in its own right, also seems to bear a striking resemblance to W.C. Fields.

W.C. Fields’ comedy seems to be this interesting hybrid of physical gags, witty one-liners, and a distinctive nasal voice that gave the delivery or punchline some extra.. something or another. Edge? Maybe edge is the right word. 

I think BJ's sense of humor kind of runs "deep and silent," which to me suggests a level of complexity in the gags and wisecracks that went beyond wanting or needing an immediate laugh. This aligns with Fields’ own comedic philosophy (at least what I can tell in the embarrassing research I've been doing off and on), where the humor was not just in the punchline but in the build-up, the delivery, and the character’s reaction to the world around him. (NOTE: Fields tended to play con-artists or like "the every man") Fields’ comedy doesn't seem to be about quick laughs but more so about creating a persona that audiences could relate to and find humor in, despite—or perhaps because of—the character’s flaws.

BJ’s admiration for Fields also speaks to a deeper connection between the two. Both shared an ability to find humor in adversity - perhaps as a way to just cope. Fields’ characters navigated the the Great Depression with humor, and BJ used his wit and funnies to cope with... everything. War. Blood. Injustice. Not being with his family. Everything. His humor was a defense mechanism, a way to maintain sanity in an insane world, much like Fields’ comedy, provided escapism during tough economic times.

I really think what I'm getting at is the way that BJ’s sense of humor was written and constructed (whether by the writers or Mike himself) could very well be an actual living tribute to Fields' comedy.

It was a flavor of humor that was intelligent, layered, and deeply human. BJ’s jokes were not just about making people laugh; they were about making people think, feel, and sometimes even find joy in the midst of chaos, like W.C. Fields did in his own right. This is the hallmark of great comedy, and one of the reasons I think MASH, and BJ specifically, remain appealing to audiences of all ages. Whether dealing with the absurdity of military bureaucracy or a Swamp Rat's quirks, BJ’s humor was this weird beacon of light in the dark. Cheesy as it may sound, a real testament to the power of laughter as a way to find common ground, to heal and come together in some way.

And in that, BJ Hunnicutt was truly mirroring the genius of W.C. Fields.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Sense and Sensibility (2024, Hallmark) a review

I had expectations for this movie. They were not surpassed. It didn't perform below them either.

Spoilers under the cut.

So, this is a short movie (1.24hr long) a tv movie, a hallmark movie. You must keep that in mind as a frame of reference for what I'm about to say. You cannot really compare this with theatrical movies on equal footing.

Where to start. Costumes and sets. It is Bridgerton's world and we live in it. Everything is VERY colorful and shiny and not very real looking; that was to be expected. I think that sort of semi-fantasy aspect didn't hurt at all, and it was consistent. If you are not going to stick to the time period, at least go ham and show me something really interesting. I'm looking at you, Netflix Persuasion. There are some dresses that are pretty, and some others that... aren't. Considering that apparently the costume designer had to make something like 60 pieces in a month, it's kind of impressive that it came out as it did.

One funny bit, though, in this respect, is that they complain about how small the cottage is like some actual estate houses aren't the same size IRL XD Allenham we only get to see from afar, and it is rather disappointing.

Music: nothing to write home about, to be expected. Yes, we got one of those Vitamin String Quartet modern-song-played-by-strings. IDK. They were a bit dorky in their heyday, I don't know why they are so sought after in these pieces lately. I digress.

The acting. Deborah Ayorinde was a really good Elinor. She definitely deserved better writing and direction. The rest of the cast was good enough; I feel some roles really benefited from their characters being a bit hammy already in the source material (Lucy, Mrs Jennings, Anne, Fanny, Robert), others were really struggling because of being given very poor dialogue (Mrs Dashwood), and others were just... not good (Willoughby and Brandon, sadly). Edward was... a very special case. I can only describe it as the actor having two expressions: one, an attempt at reaching Hugh Grant's adorkableness AND Dan Stevens' ease at the same time, and two [SCREAMING INTERNALLY], but I guess those two were indeed enough to make it work just fine!

Which leads me to the writing. We all knew this adaptation was going to live or die in the writing, and most likely die.

The thing is that most of it is written around repeating 95' and 08's greatest hits, while attempting to compress the narrative into an hour and a half. And that goes as well as you can expect it to. Some scenes are painfully rushed -Brandon's backstory was extremely awkward to get through- some things are over before you have any time to assess their real weight -Marianne's illness, and many others end up being... incongruous.

Let me stop a little on those. The movie keeps Margaret, and gives her the whole play acting as a pirate with Edward from 95', but then removes the only real plot relevant thing she does in the book. So why keep the character at all? (Willoughby asks for Marianne's handkerchief in exchange for Queen Maab, instead of cutting a lock of her hair).

Because 2008 makes Brandon suspicious of Willoughby from the get go, this one makes it so that they know each other and implies that Brandon knows dirt on Willoughby, but then plays the rest of the story straight, which makes it... pretty inconsistent.

Speaking of Brandon, we have reached adaptation #5 that cuts out the fact that he tried to elope with Eliza sr. This time the backstory is that his father promised to let him marry Eliza if he proved himself as a soldier, but when he came back, he found his father has kicked her out of the house. Yeah, that was utter nonsense.

The adaptation makes a clumsy attempt at including the dinner at Mrs Ferrars... but Brandon isn't there to see Marianne defend Elinor.

We needed to have a "Brandon rescues Marianne in the rain" scene, but in this case, she's not faint or anything, he just grabs her because she's sad XD

And the list goes on and on and on. It was to be expected that the shadow of both 95 and 08 would be large over this one, but it truly is to the point that the references and contrivances are almost constant. Which is a pity because I think most of the original choices were interesting.

For example, Marianne twists her ankle running after Margaret, to try and stop her from asking something embarrassing, which is a good choice in terms of showing that Marianne is passionate, but she has more sense than Margaret.

On his deathbed, Mr Dashwood makes Elinor promise that she will take care of her mom and sisters and keep the family together. That added pressure on Elinor works really well in the context of the adaptation, and ads a new layer of interest.

John Dashwood is written mostly as a hapless but not malicious idiot. This is similar to what From Prada to Nada did (though there it made more sense because of the father having two families simultaneously), but I'm not sure where was that going. They did cut the Palmers, so I suppose the choice was so that they could go to Norland instead on their way to Barton (it is never established that Norland is so far away as it is in the book, so I guess one could give it a pass), but in that case, I feel the most cost effective shortcut is... have them go to Barton? Because we do get to see Barton (Marianne goes alone with Brandon to see it close to the end, and they get engaged before Edward returns, don't think much about it, manners and such are... for this movie... loose guidelines. But it isn't super offensive most of the time).

Anne Steele is decent fun as she's supposed to be, but Lucy really suffers the flattening. The mastermind has been flanderized into just a mean girl, and that's a pity.

Oh, Edward is sassy at times! And the sassy jokes land! I have to say it is not my preferred way of doing the character, but he does show some sass at the end of the novel, so, you know, I'll allow it I suppose XD

Edward's return and proposal started pretty good, but it overstayed its welcome. I cannot emphasize enough that, when writing this kind of proposal, you must avoid the word love if you can, and if you must use it, use it once, and with great reluctance.

The movie chooses to dedicate quite a time to the reveal of Edward and Lucy's relationship, and it's honestly... decent? For a scene made out of whole cloth it stands on its own feet reasonably well. But there's no Fanny freakout. This is probably the most shocking plot twist in the adaptation. This very on-the-nose Hallmark adaptation decided to cut the Fanny freakout of all things. Impressive restraint.

One thing, however, that was sadly cut out was Elinor and Marianne's conversation about Willoughby at Barton. It is instead replaced by an unsubtle comparison between Willoughby and Edward, and an exchange between Brandon and Marianne. It is one of the several points where the storytelling relies on previous knowledge of the work.

These are my main, disordered thoughts. I leave you with this choice from the ending, that I cannot form a thought about:

At Elinor and Edward's wedding, on the first pew are in attendance, from center to side: Mrs Dashwood, Margaret, Marianne, colonel Brandon... and Eliza Williams with her baby in her arms.

As a summary, I'd say Elinor and Edward's story was good enough, the relationship between the sisters was sweet, there were some odd choices, some interesting choices, and overall the writing was severely downgraded by attempting so much to stick to the choices of previous famous adaptations.

[musicalmoritz]

Why do fandoms hate non-monogamy?

I find it so confusing that the only hate comments I’ve ever received on ao3 have been about non-monogamy of all things. I don’t consider my writing to be massively shocking or controversial but I do occasionally write about some darker subjects (cannibalism, legal age gaps, couples carving their names into each other’s backs, lesbian serial killers), and these are the fics I typically brace myself for pushback on. Again, even the darker stuff doesn’t get too dark, I tend to fluff things up a bit. But these fics end up receiving overwhelming support, which I’m very grateful for

Still though, when I write stuff like that, you can imagine my confusion when people instead choose to hate on my open relationship fics. At least if it were something pertaining to violence I could be like “okay I get it, this subject makes some people uncomfortable.” When it’s simply stretching the bounds of heteronormativity or interpreting the characters differently, the comments end up feeling particularly aggressive. I’m talking a kind of hate I’ve only experienced within Southern Baptist churches

You literally cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that Hisoka and Illumi would have a monogamous relationship. That is so completely different from their canon dynamic, where they’re already implied to have something going on but Hisoka is seen thirsting over other characters frequently. The first hate comment was about them and I was a little petty about it, I called the commenter out in the description of the fic. I have since then deleted the callout but I kinda wish I hadn’t. Though I’ve heard there’s a hatebot on HisoIllu ao3 so that might have been the problem

The other ship was Cherik, which comes down more to interpretation. Although they are one of my favorite ships ever, I do multiship with them and I feel as though their relationships with women are very valuable to both of them. I know because of the ending to Dark Phoenix, a lot of people like to give them a stereotypical Hallmark happily ever after but I just can’t completely see them like that. At least not during the bulk of the franchise, which is where my fic took place. I think they are soulmates but they have other shit going on, and other people in their lives they wouldn’t want to give up (I’m very attached to Erik’s relationship with Magda from the comics so shhhh). Writing them as an old married couple before they’ve worked everything out just isn’t realistic to me

And Soukoku, omg Soukoku. This one wasn’t a hate comment but someone decided to mention in a bookmark they made for one of my fics that they didn’t like how Dazai and Chuuya weren’t fully together and still saw other people. I don’t write for Soukoku anymore as I really only “ship” them in the manga, their dynamic is perfect as it is and I don’t need to see anything added to that. But that’s simply a matter of preference, there are plenty of fans who do want to see them run off and get married and you know what? If I ended up reading a fic like that, I wouldn’t bookmark it just to complain that I’d prefer if they weren’t married. Soukoku is like the least heteronormative ship ever, c’mon guys. Their dynamic is so unique and complex and you want to see them settle down with 5 kids?? To each their own ig but don’t tell me how you want to see them fanonized😭

Those aren’t the only ships I’ve written open relationships with, at least I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure some of my Fyozai and Nikozai fics have been like that as well. Which makes me even more annoyed because I know it’s just because HisoIllu, Cherik, and Soukoku are massively popular ships within their respective fandoms and people want to see them characterized the exact same way every time. When there’s such an overload of content for all three of them, you’d think people would be less picky. If you don’t like how I write them that’s completely fine, just go read a different fic. I promise you there’s no shortage, Soukoku is one of the top ships on ao3. I don’t really like the way Soukoku and Cherik are characterized by their fandoms so when I write them, I try to provide something different. It’s good to have variety in the type of content that exists for ships, I’ve had a lot of Soukoku fans thank me for highlighting Chuuya’s flaws rather than making Dazai the only villain in their relationship. It may not be for you, but there are some people who will enjoy it. If you don’t like it just move on and read something else

Overall I think the issue here is heteronormativity (take a shot every time I write that word). It’s perfectly fine if you want your ships to have a storybook romance where they get married and have babies at the end, I’m like that with most of my ships. But keep in mind that there are different types of relationships, and not everyone wants to read the same thing. That’s my favorite part of multishipping, some ships don’t exist as full relationships to me and that’s great. It gives me the opportunity to explore different dynamics- friends with benefits, one-sided pining, besties who flirt, emotionally married but never confessed. People really only seem okay with this variety of the ship isn’t popular, or if it’s not the main pairing for a character. Nobody bats an eye when I write Fyozai as non-monogamous because at the end of the day, most of those readers want to see Dazai end up with Chuuya. Popular ships deserve variety too though, a lot of readers are secretly missing that. We’ve seen Soukoku written the same way a million times, so why not mix it up?? One fic of them being non-monogamous won’t hurt anybody. You can still interpret them however you want to, but don’t send hate to fans who don’t share the same opinion

Not everyone has the same relationship experience, and fiction should reflect that. There’s a common complaint that love stories are repetitive, so writers should be encouraged to take a different approach to romance. Those relationships aren’t any less valuable than “traditional” ones, they can be just as meaningful and life-changing. I’ll even bring TBHK into this; while I prefer to imagine Teru and Akane having some fairytale ending together, it’s so refreshing to see most fans giving them an angsty slowburn well into their 30s. It’s something you don’t see with every ship, and it fits them well. That’s the beauty of fan fiction, everyone interprets the characters slightly differently so we get to explore different concepts with them. In that sense, even the overused tropes feel unique every time. So don’t shame someone for stepping further outside popular fan interpretation, they’re just proving some variety that many readers may enjoy

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 2 Watch Along

I am a couple days late because migraines suck, but I'm finally sitting down to watch ep 2. I'm gonna try to gives some first inpressions here, but we'll see how we go.

-Opening shot and I accidentally caught crew in the back of the boat. Hehe...whoops. Can't always catch that.

-When he says "what this man's sex taste like" does he mean literally or figuratively??? Like...I'm just not sure if it's wonky translation, or ???

-Okay, but the way Mut put's their legs together, but keeps their torso's apart....like touching, but not invading Rak's space....that's kinda hot.

-I do come from a seafood family, literally my maternal grandparents ran a seafood restaurant for over a decade, but I'm not a seafood person, so I kinda feel like the food stuff is going over my head.

-Like...I knew it was gonna happen, but I'm still blushing so hard. That eye contact is DANGEROUS.

-Peat's muscles!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

-Literally Rak is so cranky that he hurt himself and cut off sexy time. His grumpy face.

I love Mook so much. I would die for her, she's so precious.

Are those generic baby shark bandaids??

I love how quickly Rak takes advantage of the loophole Mut presents him with. He immediately is like "you are correct, this is not my bed, let's bang!" (Also I fucking loved this line in the trailer. It's quippy, it's clever, Fort delivers it so well. Perfection.)

I mean...if your gonna engage in sexy time on the beach...oral would be your best option, so....

Jesus with the leg over the shoulder....goddamn.

Those hips are moving quite a lot Rak, be careful with Mut, you don't want to break him.

The mouth wipe.....I'm dying. I will say the timing was a bit fast there at the end, but like...legit portrayal of oral, and not just vaguely refering to it is new in Thai BL, so props for that. (Also it was one of my bingo squares. Yay me.)

I was predicting the whole "I'm inspired, we gotta go back to my room right now", but that did not stop it from being funny as hell.

Is Tongrak basically Mame's self-insert?? I just thought about this, bc they used the MMY logo for the fake website, probably just so they didn't have to bother with getting a non-copywritten one, or pay to use a real one, but like I just thought about this, since he's a writer who writes Y-Series, and part of what P'Vie does (I'm pretty sure) is make them into shows.... fascinating to consider.

We do see the cover for The Boy Next World, both the BN one and the orignal manga-style one...interesting.... As well as the cover for Love Director, which is one of the novels directly related to the LITA side of the Mame-verse....also interesting.

Rak's fake insta is hot. I tell you what, Mame shows got their issues, but costuming is pretty much always on point.

Okay so P'Vie is an actress...still involved with Rak's shows, but not the director I guess.

I really do get distract by how pretty Peat's eyes are.

Okay, Though he was just showering, but then I saw the motion... the blushing begins again. (Look I know I've written smut, and I watch BL, but I'm still Ace, so a lot of times my reaction is very Edwardian noble lady. I'm sorry!)

No, but I paused it to write that last sentence and the look on Rak's face!!!!

Rak is very bite-y. It suits his character, really. I Like it.

That was....very athletic.

I have thoughts about the sex scene. I'll save those for the 'Thoughts' post though.

I do think it's funny that Rak is so disturbed because the sex was good. That's funny.

Side note, I know this is an adult show, it includes a lot of adult themes, but somehow the Hallmark Movie-ness of Mame's shows makes it feel very weird when people cuss. Like, it feels odd for Rak to say Fuck there. It somehow just gives the vibe of 'see how grown-up we are with the cussing'. IDK if that makes sense, or if anyone else feels that way.

Mook's reaction to the forehead kiss is so cute, but P'Vie's got two episodes to get her act together, or I'm gonna start to dislike her.

I still don't remember the name of Mut's friend (I'm sorry) but I do think he's very funny. The actor is doing a very good job.

I know IRL, I would hate the entitledness/possessive-ness of Rak, but that was kind hot.

I love how amused Mut is by Rak. It's one of the things that feels like Fort peeking through tbh.

Oops...none of us did consider that a considerably long motorbike ride the day after some pretty vigorous back door sex may not be the best idea. But also, I feel like this is part of why prep/aftercare is important, and they (meaning BLs) should focus on it more. Like it's wouldn't fix everything, but it would help.

Oh, I really do like Mut's friend...who's name is Palm....I will try to remember.

I doubt this was Mame's intention, but I do appreciate the discussion of how franchised tourism can be harmful to local residents.

Sweet Mut so shy about taking genuine compliments. That's so cute.

Oh I'm familiar with that kind of manufactured flippancy when it comes to speaking about family ties that have been broken.... there be trauma there mateys.

God I have a lot of incomplete thoughts about this scene. I'm gonna have to rewatch and break it down later.

Oh, Rak is 100% a self-insert.

I do wonder when we're gonna get more info regarding that first thought about escaping though. It feels like Rak is trying to keep things surface level, but is accidentally revealing more than he intends.

I respect the attempt to get info out of Kom. I also respect Connor for not giving any.

I'm excited for the diving and underwater shots, but Rak--why the fuck are you wearing a small fortune in high-end designer jewelery for that?? like, leave that shit in your room dude.

Also, I've officially decided I love Palm and his doofus-energy. I will now protect him with my life.

God Bless Wetsuits! Amen!!

Sir what the fuck are you doing???? If this were a different couple I'd say Rak is well on his way to a spanking.

But also, this is so pretty,

Flashback!!! Yes, another bingo box, but also...why do drama parents always break up directly in front of their kids?

There's a metaphor happening about not diving alone and the flashbacks and reconciling his traumas in relation to love/trusting men (in a romantic way)....my brain is too stupid to make a cohesive explanation, but it's there.

I love the way Mut just looks at Rak... like it's fascinating how much Fort is able to portray with his gaze. I thought that during LITA, but it's confirmed here. Because, yes the longing/loving gaze is alive and well, but you can see the concern, the confusion, even the questioning that's happening. It's wild.

Well that's all for the episode. I'll probably rewatch tomorrow and thry to organize my thoughts into something vaguely cohesive, but no promises. Despite the very swift jump into the sex, we got a lot of insight today, into to both of them really.

[bellesdiaries]

Elizabeth and Nathan coparenting each other's kids and consulting with each other through their mistakes and listening to each other's heartaches...they are such a FAMILY. This is everything I wanted for them and more.

I love that Allie confides in Elizabeth and Jack so eagerly looks up to Nathan.

I love that Elizabeth and Nathan both want to help but also don't want to overstep but also want what's best for the kids, even when they have differing opinions on what that is.

I love that Elizabeth and Nathan have grown enough to realize that even though they don't always agree, they can talk through it and work it out together.

THIS is what I want, Hallmark. This messy, real life family dynamics with no easy cop outs and a plot that doesn't feel contrived but actually makes sense for the characters and their respective journeys.

They're actually letting the Allie storyline LINGER. They're letting the kids have legitimate, coming-of-age issues. They're letting Nathan and Elizabeth fill the roles their kids need -- Allie needing a mom who listens and Jack needing a dad who lets him be daring; but also, Nathan and Elizabeth relying on each other and trusting each other for wisdom and insight on how to parent as they watch their kids grow up. Even though Allie's story isn't resolved, this has just made Nathan and Elizabeth stronger as a unit.

Amazing all around. One of the most well written plotlines on the show to date, and especially phenomenal acting on the part of Jaeda Lily Miller (who plays Allie), as she's taken on a larger role this arc.

[wanderingblindly]

Liquid!!! Sending you a ⭐️ to yap about (of course) Cheating at Bingo and Other Christmas Traditions - my beloved!! I adore her and you! 🤍

Hello my angel!!! I don’t think I’ve talked about Cheating at Bingo in a loooooong time, so this should be fun! Thank you for asking 💖💖

I’ll talk about one real scene and one scene that didn’t end up happening:

1. The bingo scene actually wasn’t in the original plan

In the beginning, when I was still figuring out what role Celeste was going to play in this fic, I didn’t even have bingo on the radar.

I pictured Celeste going out to lunch with Rita — some regularly scheduled thing, so Charles wouldn’t bat an eye — without telling him that Max would be there. Basically, she was going to set Max and Charles up on a surprise date by kicking them to their own table, just like she did during bingo night.

I didn’t end up going with this plan for two reasons. First, I thought it would be harder to write a conversation that was interesting and natural without some sort of… outside activity. Just sitting in a restaurant can be kind of boring if you don’t already have a rapport with the other character (see: the opening scene lol). Secondly, I didn’t think Celeste — for all her scheming — would want to ambush Charles like that. Something about it felt more mean-spirited than her other antics.

In the end, I loved the bingo scene. It was a really fun way to show some other sides of their personalities and make them feel more well-rounded.

2. I wanted to write their ice skating date

In my outline that I wrote… halfway through the fic (leave me alone, I was struggling). Here’s that:

Charles wasn’t meant to invite Max over for Christmas during the Christmas tree decorating, mostly because the Christmas tree decorating scene was meant to happen earlier in December (per this timeline). After sitting on it for a bit, I realized that the ice skating date would feel…. Redundant after the Christmas tree farm “”date””.

Obviously, I moved things around. The sappy Christmas tradition between Charles’s grandparents was entirely unplanned — that just came to me while I was writing. It’s loosely based on a part of my real life (my step mother loves holiday crystals), but otherwise it was just a stroke on inspiration!!

I’m glad I took it the direction I did. I think the symbolism in that scene (max holding the crystals, hanging The Wedding Bells, etc all feels so intimate and lovely).

3. The final time skip scene was written moments before I hit post

I finished writing this fic at night, and told myself I’d post it first thing in the morning. After giving it a cursory reread, I realized it just felt… off. Something about it wasn’t giving hallmark to the utmost degree, and I would not let that stand.

It, again, was an unplanned moment of inspiration. After looking back at the above outline, I realized I could still sneak in the “what the fuck was our first date??” conversation, which I loved. For such a Charles-centric fic, I wanted to slip in moments where it was clear that Max was just as infatuated with him — and thinking you were on an unspoken date, being that optimistic? Yeah, that’s exactly what I needed.

I actually hadn’t reread this fic since I posted it, I’m really pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it! Thank you for the ask darling 💖💖

If you’ve made it this far, please feel free to ask me about any of my works!

[twistedtummies2]

Top 15 Vampires (Who AREN'T Dracula)

Something a lot of people seem to misconstrue about me is that I am a massive fan of vampires and vampire fiction. This really isn’t the case: what I AM is a massive fan of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula,” specifically. I am fascinated by seeing different interpretations of that particular novel, and especially its title character. When it comes to vampire fiction as a whole, I am much less well-versed and interested. SPOILER ALERT: you won’t be seeing TV franchises like “True Blood,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Dark Shadows,” or “What We Do in the Shadows” here, for the simple fact that I have never seen any of them and really don’t have any intention of seeing them. This applies to a lot of other television programs, works of literature, films, and video games: vampires, by default, do not automatically equal my vested interest. HOWEVER…this does not mean I have NO interest in vampires, as a concept. Long before Bram Stoker’s seminal work was published and reached its heights of popularity, the idea of the vampire - an undead creature who rises from the grave to drain the blood of the living - was a fantasy and myth spanning not only many centuries, but many different cultures. Just about every nation, region, and spiritual belief under the setting Sun has had some variation of the vampire legend, and written stories of vampiric characters and events date back much, much further back than Stoker’s time. What “Dracula” really did was bring the concept into the popular consciousness, especially through its renditions onstage and in motion pictures, in a way no written or orally transferred piece of work had done before. That popularity has really only continued to grow over the decades. Being such a widespread idea, and one with increasing fascination for many people over time, it’s only natural that while I may favor Dracula and his exploits beyond all the rest, I have still seen SOME pieces of vampire fiction not necessarily related to the Count of Transylvania. So, I decided it was time to give all of them some attention. Now, I should point out that I won’t be counting characters I already talked about on my Top 31 Favorite Dracula list: even if they aren’t technically Dracula himself, such as with The Count from “Sesame Street,” or Count Chocula, it just seems like cheating to include them here since…well…I already brought them up, and it was in relation to Dracula! With that said, some Dracula-inspired characters WILL be present on this list that did NOT get discussed in the past, because Dracula-inspired does not equal Dracula himself. Also, I will be including characters who are dhampirs - half-vampire, half-human - or might be considered “unconventional vampires,” so to speak. If they have all the hallmarks I’m looking for, they can be eligible. Oh, and if you’re a fan of “Twilight”...firstly, you probably shouldn’t be reading this, and secondly, you’re going to be massively disappointed. :P Now that we’ve established those points…let’s waste no more time. Prepare some garlic and, if you don’t have any crucifixes handy, consider buying a couple: these are My Top 15 Favorite Vampires…Who AREN’T Count Dracula.

15. NOS-4-A2, from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Starting off with an unconventional sort of vampire. NOS-4-A2 is Dracula parody character, created by the evil Emperor Zurg. He is a robotic “energy vampire” who detests the taste of blood, instead feeding off electrical energy. This, of course, still makes him a very dangerous threat, especially in a sci-fi styled universe with so many electronic gadgets and gizmos laying around, and with more robots roaming the galaxy than you can shake a stick at. Ultimately breaking away from his creator’s influence, NOS-4-A2 continued to bedevil the heroes of Star Command throughout the show’s run, and was arguably the scariest major villain of the whole show. This is especially fascinating since he was played by Craig Ferguson, of all people; not the most obvious casting to play a vampire of any kind, I’d say.

14. Demetri Maximoff, from Darkstalkers.

These games were inspired by the Universal Monsters of yore, with characters based on figures of fright like the Wolfman, the Frankenstein Monster, and the Mummy, just to name a few. Demetri is effectively the Dracula surrogate of the franchise…but, since he ISN’T actually Dracula, and I have not mentioned him before, I think he can count here. (Plus, in the…very, VERY bad cartoon series loosely based on the games, Dracula is actually present as a character and is Demetri’s uncle, so…there’s that, too, I guess.) Demetri is an extremely vain and power-hungry vampire warlord, who believes himself to be superior to not only all humans, but perhaps all other forms of life. This led to him arrogantly challenging the demon Belial to a duel in a time long past. Demetri lost, and thus was banished to the mortal realm, where he now seeks to find a way to regain his former glory. His greatest rival is the succubus, Morrigan, daughter of Belial. Demetri isn’t particularly complex, but he IS a very entertainingly dark and powerful character. At the same time, there are some humorous aspects to Maximoff’s personality: one of his special moves, “Midnight Bliss,” literally causes him to turn the male characters he fights into comical female forms, because Demetri really, REALLY prefers the blood of women to that of men. Also, how many other vampires will stop in the middle of a fight to spray themselves with cologne?

13. Lady Dimitrescu, from Resident Evil Village.

I could be entirely wrong about this, but I got the feeling that “Village”- much like the Darkstalkers franchise - was Resident Evil’s throwback to the classic Universal Monsters. When the villains include an elegant vampire, a werewolf, a mad scientist, and a mutant fish person, and the setting is a creepy little town with a dark castle? You’ll forgive me if I see certain parallels. Regardless of any influences, I think it’s fair to say that Lady Dimitrescu, a.k.a. “The Tall Lady,” stands on her own two (very long) legs quite well. While all of the villains in the game are different shades of awesome, Lady D. is by far the most popular. She is the first major antagonist the players encounter in this action/horror combination, as we are forced to try and escape from her Gothic castle while facing not only her, but also her equally wicked daughters. Dimitrescu isn’t a typical vampire, but rather the result of scientific mutation, which has transformed her into a vampire-like creature with a humanoid veneer. Still, she’s no more unconventional than NOS-4-A2, I’d say (or a bunch of other characters still to come), so I don’t see any reason she can’t count.

12. Father Abel Nightroad, from Trinity Blood.

Finally, a character who is decidedly NOT influenced by Dracula! There are a ton of vampire-themed anime out there, but I haven’t seen very many of them; again, I’m more into Dracula, specifically, than vampires as a whole. However, there are a few characters and shows on this list, and this guy is the first of them. “Trinity Blood” focuses on the adventures of Abel Nightroad, who is one of only two surviving members of a race known as a Crusnik (also spelled “Krusnik;” not sure which is the more generally accepted spelling): while vampires feed on human beings, a Crusnik is essentially a vampire that feeds on other vampires. Abel works for the Vatican (which, in the alternate reality of the series, has basically taken over the human world…read into that what you will), acting as a sort of ambassador, trying to keep peace between the nation of humans and the nation of vampires. Abel is a classic example of a character type I really love: I don’t know what the name for it is, but it’s a scenario where the character often appears to be silly and goofy and perhaps even a sweetheart, but underneath it all they are made of steel and can be VERY dangerous. Characters like Sans, The Doctor, Disney’s Clopin, Adrian Monk…the list goes on. Abel is one of those types: on the surface, at first glance, he’s a clumsy, sugar-addicted, perpetually-broke goofball who tries desperately to avoid all conflict. When the chips are down, however, he’s quick to remind those who cause trouble why he’s basically the alpha predator of this world’s food chain. It’s the classic “beware the fury of a patient man” concept: when the peaceful priest is also a vampire of vampires, the last thing you want to do is make him mad.

11. Taiga Nobori, a.k.a. Kamen Rider Saga, from Kamen Rider Kiva.

“Kamen Rider Kiva” is a Japanese superhero program - part of the long-running “Kamen Rider” franchise - themed around…you guessed it…Universal Monsters. The series focuses on the titular Kamen Rider Kiva (real name Wataru Kurenai), who uses his powers to hunt down shapeshifting, vampiric monsters referred to as “Fangires.” The Fangires are ruled by a chess-themed group of superiors known as the Checkmate Four. At the time of the series’ start, the current leader of the Checkmate Four is this character: Taiga Nobori, who becomes a rival of Wataru under the identity of Kamen Rider Saga. Taiga is a childhood friend of Wataru, who is ultimately revealed to secretly be his long lost sibling. Despite this, he at first plays an antagonistic role in the story; as the series goes on, he has to struggle with his relationship with Wataru, his love for Mio - a lady both of them love dearly - and his responsibility as the new King of the Fangires. Again, not by any means a conventional vampire (or dhampir), but a very fun character and more than worthy of placement on my personal list.

10. Bunnicula.

This little guy is almost undoubtedly the cutest life-sucking undead creature in history. Why? Well…he’s a bunny. A cute, adorable, fluffy, sweet little bunny with big red eyes and a little widow’s peak marking on his noggin. How can you NOT love this fuzzy little sweetheart? If I weren’t allergic to rabbits, I’d snuggle him to bits! Bunnicula is the mascot of the popular “Bunnicula” book series…however, in the original books, he’s not actually the main character. In fact, there are several short novels where Bunnicula never appears. He is, however, nevertheless, a prominent figure throughout the series. The books typically follow a certain formula: Chester the Cat and Harold the Dog encounter some spooky, creepy thing. Chester - an over-dramatic ham who never likes to admit his true feelings and isn’t as smart as he thinks he is - tries to solve the mystery in the most inept and hilarious way possible. Harold, who is much more practical and reasonable, basically acts as the straight man to hold back Chester’s crazy. Bunnicula is, at first, Chester’s arch-nemesis, as the cat believes the vampire bunny has plans for world domination…but in fact, Bunnicula is completely harmless. He doesn’t drink blood, but instead just drains vegetables of their juices, leaving shriveled, dried-up husks behind. It’s a bit creepy, sure, but he has no desire to hurt people or other animals. And, even though he may be centuries old, he’s still basically just a baby bunny; he’s way too young and sweethearted to even imagine world conquest. The books are highly popular - renowned for their messages of tolerance and looking-before-one-leaps - and have been the inspiration for multiple reimaginings and adaptations. Most of these versions give Bunnicula even more vampiric powers and heighten his role in things. Regardless, however, his basic personality remains the same: occasionally mischievous, but generally just a cuddly little bun-bun…who also happens to be an immortal vegetable-draining demon, but that’s just part of his charm.

9. Lestat de Lioncourt, from The Vampire Chronicles.

I don’t think I’m physically ALLOWED to talk about vampires (that are not Dracula) without acknowledging the work of Anne Rice. She is the author of “The Vampire Chronicles,” an EXTREMELY popular series that many consider to be second only to Dracula, in terms of influential literature. The books focus on the life and adventures of Lestat de Lioncourt: a centuries old vampire, living in 1980s America. Once the son of a nobleman, Lestat was transformed into a vampire by an ancient evil; in the modern day, he is now the head of a vampiric rock band. Rice is often credited with revitalizing interest in vampires as a concept, especially focusing on the sexual overtones of the idea, and the sympathetic qualities of a lonely, eternal life. This reputation is…somewhat dubious; as far as I can tell, these things were popular and noteworthy well before her first book was published. In my opinion, the REAL power of Rice’s work is due to two specific factors. First, the explicitness of the writing: her books are some of the raunchiest and most violently bloodthirsty vampire novels written up to that time. Through literature, she gets away with stuff that, up to that point, not even most films - in a genre that was growing increasingly brutal and randy - could get away with. Second, and I think this is where her reputation really shows its power…Lestat himself, and the way he’s treated. It’s not simply that Lestat is a sympathetic character, it’s that - unlike, as far as I can tell, ALL major, noteworthy vampires in fiction before him - he isn’t treated necessarily as a monster. He is not the antagonist, but instead the main character we follow and learn about, as well as learn from. While he is not necessarily a hero, he also isn’t the villain, and is not meant to be seen as such; he is simply a man who has lived a very long life. And like any man, ESPECIALLY one who has lived a long life, he has done many terrible things…but he has also done many good things. Ultimately, I personally find other vampires and vampire stories much more interesting than Rice’s work, but the influence she’s had cannot be ignored. Lestat is more than deserving of recognition in my Top 10.

8. Vamp, from Metal Gear Solid.

Of all the unconventional vampires on this countdown, Vamp is arguably the weirdest. Rather than a supernatural being, Vamp is what might be termed a “science vampire”: the result of biological experimentation, rather than anything magical or paranormal. Not only that, but despite looking like a vampire, having vampire-like abilities, being of stereotypically vampirish Romanian descent, and even having a literal taste for blood…Vamp’s name has NOTHING to do with him being a “vampire.” (Where does his name come from? Look it up, I find it to be absolutely stupid, so I’m not naming it here.) It’s as if the creators wanted to make a vampire character, yet for some baffling reason didn’t want to make him a “real” vampire. While this whole setup is utterly backwards, it does nothing to harm the actual character, thankfully. Vamp is one of the more well-known antagonists in the MGS series, despite only appearing properly in two games, and a personal favorite of mine (for obvious reasons). He is vicious, mysterious, has a slight flair for the dramatic, and generally is just really, REALLY cool. The most noteworthy thing about Vamp - aside from his superhuman strength and speed, and the fact that he’s REALLY hard to kill - is his skill with knives and daggers. Whether it’s wielding them at close quarters or flinging them about left and right, his abilities with blades make him a particularly frightening foe to take on, and his boss battles are among the more tricky in the titles he appears in. Kudos must also go to voice acting great Phil LaMarr, whose unsettling performance is a big part of the character’s appeal. Whether he’s a “true” vampire or not, Vamp is certainly vampire-themed, and therefore I say still more than counts for the top ten on my list.

7. Seras Victoria, from Hellsing Ultimate.

I specifically credit “Hellsing Ultimate” because I haven’t watched the original Hellsing anime, nor have I read the manga. With that said, “Hellsing Ultimate” is one of my favorite anime programs, as well as quite possibly the single most violent I’ve ever seen. While the main protagonist of the series is Count Dracula-I mean, Alucard (GREAT way to disguise your identity there, sir), I would argue it’s the apparent secondary protagonist of the series who has the most dynamic story arc. That character is everyone’s favorite “Police Girl,” Seras Victoria. At the start of the show, Seras is a young rookie cop whose squad is attacked by a horde of ghouls, controlled by a villainous vampire. Alucard is only able to save her life by transforming her into a vampire as well. The rest of the series has Seras trying to balance who she is with what she’s become: she not only has to discover how to handle her newfound vampiric powers, but also has to learn and accept what it really means to be a vampire. Some people seem to dismiss Seras as pithy comic relief - she is the most lighthearted character of the main cast - but I feel that’s an extremely unfair assessment: while I admit it took a little time for me to warm up to her, I now feel she’s one of the most interesting characters in the show, second only to Alucard. Seras is earnest and altruistic, at times almost childlike…but she is also more than capable of kicking butt, and is as mighty on the battlefield as virtually any of her comrades. It’s that wonderful dichotomy of her being a good, gentle person and a powerful, stalwart warrior that makes her so enjoyable. It’s rare you’ll find well-written, strong female characters who are able to be impressive physical threats while also still being generally good-hearted human beings, as well as very funny to watch. Seras is such a rarity, and earns all the praise she gets and more for it.

6. Carmilla.

If there is a single vampire that has been portrayed as often as Dracula…well, factually, there hasn’t been. But if there is one who comes close, it’s the Countess Karnstein: the titular character of the story “Carmilla” by J.S. LeFanu. Her story was, in fact, an influence on Bram Stoker when he created “Dracula.” The story is most well-known because it is heavily, HEAVILY implied that Carmilla is a lesbian: considering the tale was published in the 1870s, it’s kind of amazing that LeFanu got away with that. Of course, the REASON he got away with it is because he depicted the lesbian character as being a literal bloodthirsty monster, but Carmilla, in the book, is also something of a tragic figure. Her feelings for Laura - a young lady who befriends her, not realizing Carmilla wants to make her into her next victim (and probably has the hots for her) - are ultimately unreciprocated, but from Carmilla’s side at least, they seem to be genuine, or at least very passionate. Once she is slain, Laura doesn’t rejoice: she admits that she misses the person she considered a friend, and still has nightmares about the horrible truth itself. The character of Carmilla has appeared multiple times beyond the story, but sadly I haven’t seen many interpretations: Hammer Horror’s “Karnstein Trilogy” of films follow the book to a point, before veering off into wilder territory. In the “Castlevania” franchise, Carmilla is a recurring antagonist, usually serving as Dracula’s rival, follower, or both. She is referenced in “The Batman vs. Dracula” as Dracula’s former bride. In “Fate/Grand Order,” it’s revealed that Carmilla’s true identity is the infamous serial killer Elisabeth Bathory. None of these have ANYTHING to do with LeFanu’s story, but they are certainly intriguing. There are much more faithful versions out there, if you look, but I have not experienced them…yet. I was very tempted to name Carmilla in my Top 5, but ultimately I think there are just more characters, in general, I like more, so she just barely misses out. Sorry, ma’am.

5. Noe Archiviste, from The Case Study of Vanitas.

If there is a single vampire ALMOST as adorable as the aforementioned Bunnicula, I would argue it’s Noe: one of the main protagonists of the anime “The Case Study of Vanitas.” The show is based on the manga (which I still need to read) by Jun Mochizuki: the creator of my favorite manga (and what SHOULD have been my favorite anime), “Pandora Hearts.” While PH is a reimagining of the “Alice” stories by Lewis Carroll, “Case Study of Vanitas” is an homage to various works of dark period fiction. It contains various references - some more obvious than others - to literary works like “The Island of Dr. Moreau,” classic horror films like “Nosferatu,” and more. The plot is set in a steampunk universe where vampires and humans co-habitate more or less harmoniously. Many vampires in this world are infected with a mysterious curse, which turns them into violent monsters. Noe is a young vampire nobleman, who - while traveling to Paris - ends up becoming a bodyguard for the mysterious Vanitas: a self-proclaimed doctor who uses a magical book to “heal” cursed vampires. At first, the two start off on a very rocky relationship, but as time goes on, they eventually become friends. Noe is wonderful because of the dichotomy of his character: on the one hand, he’s absolutely precious. Seriously. He’s usually friendly, naive, at times a bit dim, tries hard to be polite, loves his pet cat, and is filled with a sense of spellbound wonder at the world around him, showing an excitable playfulness. He’s typically just the most loveable cinnamon bun of a vampire you could ever meet. On the flip side, however…he IS a vampire, and not only that, he’s a POWERFUL vampire. While he’s usually an absolute sweetheart, his patience is not limitless: if Noe is angered, or feels a need to defend himself, he can be TERRIFYING. I really love characters who have that kind of dual nature, and Noe is a great example of it: easily a fine pick for my top five.

4. David, from The Lost Boys (1987).

It’s hard to believe, given the bad rap he often gets nowadays for movies like “Batman & Robin,” that filmmaker Joel Schumacher was actually considered a highly respected and talented movie master. He, in fact, made a bunch of REALLY good movies in his time, and many would argue that this horror-comedy blend is his best. “The Lost Boys” is considered one of the most influential modern vampire stories, alongside the aforementioned works of Anne Rice, but in a different kind of way: the vampires in the Lost Boys are not elegant, glamorous figures, nor sympathetic immortals tortured by their own eternity. These are what I call “punk vampires”: the main villains are basically your standard biker gang of Goth hoodlums, who love wearing leather, smoking, drinking, causing general street mayhem, and swagger around with cocksure pride in their antics. They just also happen to be vampires, and have all the powers vampire have as a result: extended lifespans, eternal youth, flight, superhuman strength, and various other supernatural abilities. The allure of these vampires comes from their vivacity and fun; there’s a certain “wish fulfillment” aspect to the way the vampires are portrayed in “The Lost Boys,” as they represent all the things people sort of WISH they could do…but the cost of having so much power and access to so many thrills is very high. Nowhere is this better embodied than in the main antagonist, David, played by Kiefer Sutherland. David is a charismatic fellow with a commanding presence and charm. He is the quintessential “bad boy”: a sensual, attractive portrait of raw danger. He is also, however, a murderous psychopath, without a shred of compassion left in his soul. Whenever I think of vampires, David is one of the first characters I imagine, and more than worthy of a spot in my top five.

3. Genevieve Dieudonne, from the works of Kim Newman.

I say “the works of Kim Newman” because Genevieve was originally created as the heroine of a series of books by Newman called “Drachenfels.” These books are connected to the highly popular “Warhammer” franchise. I know basically nothing about either of these things. So, how is Diuedonne so high up in the ranks? Well, as it turns out, Newman also used the same character as one of the main protagonists of another series I really, REALLY love: “Anno Dracula.” For those who came in late, “Anno Dracula” is set in an alternate universe where Dracula succeeds in taking over England, ultimately turning a large number of the population of Europe into vampires. In many ways, I think the books succeed in doing something that I personally feel other vampire stories that are perhaps more acclaimed - such as the works of Anne Rice - didn’t quite manage for me: they completely humanize the vampires. Vampires in Anno Dracula aren’t treated as monsters inherently; they may drink blood, dislike sunlight, and have certain weaknesses, but at heart, they’re still basically just people. Some are good, some are bad; it really depends on what is in their heart of hearts. Other universes that have come since have taken this idea as well, but “Anno Dracula” is the first I’m aware of, and in my opinion still the best attempt at the idea. Genevieve herself stands as a testament to this philosophy: she is essentially the “Anti-Dracula.” She is even more ancient than the Count, and presumably just as powerful, if not moreso. However, while Dracula is a self-serving villain who seeks power and glory, Genevieve is a good person at heart, who simply tries to do what she feels is best for not only her fellow vampires, but for people as a whole. She has many of Dracula’s abilities and traits we would recognize - being very dramatic in her own way, very cunning, extremely well-educated, and also an experienced warrior - but she has gone in an extremely different direction as a person. I don’t know how the version in the Warhammer universe compares to Genevieve in “Anno Dracula,” but if she’s anything like the one there, it only cements how much she deserves place in my Top 3.

2. Blade & Morbius, from Marvel.

There are many vampires and vampire-like creatures and characters in the Marvel universe. Dracula himself, as I’ve said in the past, is among those ranks. However, aside from Dracula, two particular vampiric figures stand out amongst the crowd: Blade the Vampire Hunter, and Morbius the Living Vampire. Frank Blade - originally born “Eric Cross” - is a dhampir who has devoted his life to hunting down all the evil vampires of the world, along with many other monsters. His arch-enemies include his “father,” Deacon Frost, and - you guessed it - Count Dracula. He is a brilliant swordsman, marksman, knife-wielder, martial artist, and all-around badass. Michael Morbius, meanwhile, is a sort of “science vampire”: created not by being bitten by a supernatural fiend, but instead mutating as the result of a biochemistry experiment gone wrong. Driven by an insatiable need to consume blood, lest his physical condition - brought on by the experiment - worsen exponentially, Morbius flip-flops between being a sympathetic villain and an anti-hero in the Marvel universe. In the comics, the two have clashed several times; in fact, one particular battle between the pair led to Blade actually gaining some new abilities, as a result of the Living Vampire’s DNA mingling with his own. Outside of the comics, the two have been adapted and reimagined multiple times for other media (with mixed results), though the only time I know of where they MET in other media was the 1990s show “Spider-Man: The Animated Series,” where Blade and Spidey had to work together to stop a rampaging Morbius. Whether you love them together or separately, and whether you prefer the comics or other interpretations, they’re two of the first characters I think of when I think of vampires in general. They are probably the most iconic vampire characters in superhero fiction. That, if nothing else, definitely earns them a high place on my list.

1. Alucard, from Castlevania.

It is perhaps fitting that a list of my favorite vampire characters NOT including Dracula should finish with the Count’s son. Because that is what Adrian Farenheit Tepes - a.k.a. Alucard - is: the Son of Dracula. Alucard is one of the main protagonists of the Castlevania franchise, having appeared in virtually every reiteration of the franchise: from the classic games, to the “Lords of Shadow” reboot trilogy, to the recent animated streaming programs on Netflix. As the series has evolved and changed over the years, so too has Alucard, but the basics of the character have always remained the same. Alucard is the son of Dracula, and a human woman. When the Count is driven mad by the death of his wife, Alucard is forced to take up arms against his father, to stop the King of the Vampires from spreading death and destruction worldwide. Being a vampire himself (or, at least, half-vampire), Alucard is just as immortal as his father, and nearly as powerful, meaning that - better than any Belmont, or member of the Morris family, or other mortal monster slayer - he can keep a watchful eye on the dark lord and his minions. Alucard is my favorite character of the entire Castlevania franchise, and while every version is slightly different, the simple and yet classic conflict between father and son is a big part of the reason why: in each rendition, you realize each side cares about the other, but their philosophies make it difficult for them to co-exist. As a result, he is one of the most fascinating and yet tragic characters of the series, and is one of the first characters I think of when I think of Castlevania. I don’t know how many other people would place him so highly, but for me, it’s almost no contest placing Alucard as My Number One. If anybody can rival the Prince of Darkness best, it is him.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Strahd von Zarovich, from Dungeons & Dragons: Ravenloft.

Not hugely into D&D, hence why I can’t count him on the main list. ‘Nuff said.

Lothos & Amilyn, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992).

I said I couldn’t count the series, never said anything about the movie that inspired it. Played by Rutger Hauer and Paul Reubens, respectively, these vampire villains are probably the funniest characters in the film. Reubens as Amilyn, in particular, gets one of the most hilarious death scenes in any motion picture, period.

The Sackville-Bagg Family, from The Little Vampire.

I’ve never read the book series, but I have a big soft spot for the 2000 film; loved it as a kid, still like it now.

Dio Brando, from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

I know basically nothing about Jojo, but I felt I had to include him here simply because people would kill me if I didn’t.

Kurt Barlow, from Salem’s Lot (1979).

I’ve never read the original Stephen King novel, but the 1979 miniseries adaptation is pretty much “Dracula in Modern New England.” Reggie Nalder’s Barlow has barely any screentime, but the impact of his actions and evil presence is enormous. Plus, REALLY cool Nosferatu-inspired costume and makeup for the win!

Vladimir, from League of Legends.

Vladimir technically isn’t a vampire, but a blood mage; however, considering he literally has a Nosferatu-inspired alternate look, I think I’m justified at least giving him an Honorable Mention.