Films that were also released on May 28th...
The H-Man (1959)(US).
#horror #scifi
The Day After Tomorrow (2004).
#action #thriller
#sciencefiction
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Okay, so we all know the real reason for the vampires-versus-werewolves thing in popular culture is because back in the 1930s, the same studio owned the movie rights to Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman, and they decided to moosh them all together into what is arguably the first Big Stupid Cinematic Universe, but what's slightly less well known is that H G Wells' The Invisible Man was also part of that package. I want to see what the goofy we-swear-it's-personal-horror tabletop RPG based on that facet of the mythos looks like, weirdly artificial taxonomies of playable splats and all – everybody's invisible, but there are like five completely different possible reasons for that, plus a sixth, evil reason for being invisible which you're not allowed to play as because they secretly rule the world.
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The H-Man (aka Beauty and the Liquid People)
I watched a 1958 Tokusatsu film by the two originators of the Kaiju genre: Ishirō Honda and Eiji Tsuburaya. Specifically I watched the original Japanese version of The H-Man (美女と液体人間) because a friend had prompted me to put on a movie with the theme of "Slime" and The H-Man certainly fit that bill.
But before we get t some of the best melting people sequences outside of Street Trash we first have to set up the plot and pretend this is going to be a crime mystery film for thirty minutes.
The police has a mystery on their hands! A guy stole a bunch of drugs, but while trying to get away he suddenly disappeared leaving only his clothes behind. Apparently he got undressed and ran off in less than a minute based on how quickly an officer got to the scene.
As the police follows various leads another criminal from the same gang suddenly disappear, leaving only his clothes behind, and a VERY shocked girlfriend.
Meanwhile, in one of the most topical scenes in the movie, a scientist contact the police to give them information to help solve the crimes.
The scientist researches the effects of radiation on the human body, and has recently been in contact with two sailors suffering from severe radiation sickness. The sailors told a story of coming across a ghost ship, where the entire crew was gone, leaving only piles of clothes behind. They also had members of their crew touch some slime on the floor which caused them to melt in front of their very eyes.
It also aboard the hip are some glowing green humanoid spectres that also seem to cause people they touch to decompose into goo.
He brings this information to the police, together with data showing that an atom bomb test had happened nearby the ship the sailors had been aboard, which reportedly had been seen in a nearby harbour around the time of the disappearance of the criminals the police were looking for.
Oh, and being a scientist he had tried reproducing the effect of such radiation on living beings (CW: some frogs or toads are shown being a part of these experiments, although there's a cut shortly before they're shown dissolving indicating they've probably been replaced with models - I will not be showing them in this post), and he has successfully done so, as he shows the police officers.
I wasn't expecting how realistically this film would treat cops, especially for a Japanese movie from 1958, but presented with overwhelming evidence the cops react very believably:
It takes an additional half hour of the scientist constantly pestering them with more evidence only to be completely ignored, and also the death of a criminal in front of their very eyes AND the melting of the police chief for them to finally start taking the story seriously.
I'll leave things there without spoiling anything else. But let me just say that after the initial slow first act, this movie turned into so much fun. It had a spooky radioactive ghost ship, slime ghosts, people melting in wonderful 1958 special effects and even some genuine things to say.
It also had some interpretive dance scenes in a night club that were apparently just too hot for American audiences. If someone can tell me the meaning behind these moves I'd love to hear it:
And finally, if nothing else can convince you to put this movie on, this ought to do it:
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hawkeye and trapper get fake septums
(id under the cut)
[image id: a three-page digital comic about characters from the TV show MASH, illustrated by "druid-for-hire." On page 1, frank burns squints at Hawkeye from a short distance, who is next to Trapper, who is reading a newspaper that obscures his face. "Pierce," Burns asks, "what's on your face?" Hawkeye turns to face him, revealing a septum piercing. "what's what, Frank?" he asks. Shocked and affronted by this breach in army regulations, he shouts, "I can't!! Believe you!! It's not enough for you to disagrace the army uniform by being out of it all the time? You have to go and--and do that! You look like a punk! Or a cow!"
On page 2, Hawkeye, unbothered, replies "Y'know, Frank, I'm finally living up to the Pierce name. I was thinking about going for some ear tag earrings. Maybe I can get a nurse to pull my udders." Frank howls, "That's disgusting!" Turning to Trapper he shouts, "Did you have anything to do with this, McIntyre?" Trapper pulls down the newspaper to reveal that he's wearing three septum rings and says, "I sure did! He stole my look!"
On page 3, Frank says "You're both terrible. Both of your butts are going on report!" while Hawkeye takes out his apparently fake septum ring behind his back. "Report for what, Frank?" he asks; Frank turns to see that the piercing is now missing. "Yeah, what's the matter, Frank?" Trapper says, whose piercing is suddenly missing as well. Frank storms off, yelling "Neither of you can pull the wool over my eyes!! Just wait until General Barker hears about this!" Some time later, Frank is standing next to General Barker, pointing at Hawk. "General, I'm telling you, the hole is THERE!" he shouts. "Go and take a look in those nostrils for yourself!" There is a long and awkward pause. The General did not like that. Hawkeye remarks, "Gee Frank, take a girl to dinner first." end id]
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