#the good news is that i did not have a pest problem this year

[jensownzoo]

Late winter cold frame gardening

We've had several warm days and will have several more so I decided it was time to partially dismantle the two cold frames I knocked together on my porch so I could fix a problem, do some maintenance, and plant some seeds. It was a pain and my back is screaming at me, but it's done.

The porch is basically an elevated southern-facing concrete slab and I put two cold frames on each end, east and west. Unfortunately when I knocked them together I had not considered not being able to reach the stuff furthest in because I built the structure pretty tall--this is what I wanted to fix.

The west frame did fine until we got our first arctic blast. The spinach and green onions survived, but everything else (kale, Swiss chard, mesclun mix) died. So I elevated the rear containers, cleared out the dead stuff, and trimmed away damaged leaves.

Then I planted a row of Chinese broccoli and Snow White Bok Choy in the large earthbox. Reseeded the Tidy Cats litter container with mixed kale. I found a packet of 10 year old dwarf pak choy and scattered the entire thing into one of the small earthboxes--if even some of it comes up then I'll consider it a win. I also added some new green onion bottoms to the green onion earthbox as the old ones are starting to poop out.

And then I reassembled the frame. It went back together smoothly, yay!

And then I tackled the east frame. Most of the plants in this frame survived, but there were still dead/damaged leaves to remove, some weeds to pull, and I had to elevate the back containers. I also got to harvest a serving of salad spinach, yum!

This frame has spinach, several kinds of lettuce, and a few Swiss chard and kale seedlings. I couldn't reach the one variety of cos-type lettuce to thin it, so I did it now and just replanted any good seedlings wherever there was space. Any that survive I will consider a bonus.

This frame did NOT want to go back together snugly, which is what I was afraid of with this project. I am hoping we don't have another bout of sustained frigid temps or the lettuce may perish. Frosts should be okay though.

End of March/beginning of April these crops will be moved out to the regular garden and the frames will be used to start hardening off the transplants I'll have started indoors. This worked really well last year.

[crevicedwelling]

hello! i am a relatively new user here on tumblr, less than a year, and i have heard a comment or two about a 'wasp discourse' that happened here, that wasps are much more nice than bees or something among those lines

this caught my curiosity as im writting a wasp based character whos just an ahole as i did it on what i knew abt them from general internet and im stuck on wether i should maaayybe change them up a bit

if its not too much to ask do you happen to know a bit abt this discourse? or have a link to it? or if not to the discourse itself some other link that elaborates abt the same topic? perhaps even someone else i can ask this?

thank you very much!

to start off, there are a lot of bees and wasps in this world and it is not easy to generalize about them. there are ~20,000 bee species, and the vast majority of these are solitary bees that nest in the ground, plant stems, or in holes in wood, and because they produce no honey or have a colony to guard, have no need to be defensive or aggressive towards humans (because “towards humans” seems to be what most people base this idea off of). colonial bees, like honeybees, are actually much more defensive than solitary ones; they have huge food stores and many defenseless larvae, hence their nasty stings (or bites, for the stingless bees) and swarm defense of their hives.

bees, however, are just a family of wasps. their closest relatives are believed to be the crabronid wasps (example: cicada killers) and sphecid thread-waisted wasps (ex. mud daubers). these wasps, and most others, are also largely solitary, and hunting prey aside, don’t typically use their stings for anything other than personal defense. of the hundreds of thousands of wasps, most of them (75%) are not just solitary but also parasitoids that develop inside other insects. it’s hard to say “all wasps are assholes [to people]” when some 100,000 of them are tiny specks smaller than sesame seeds that nobody other than scientists notice.

two parasitoids: a braconid ~3mm long & something else ~0.3mm long

the wasps most people take issue with are vespids, since they like the same foods we do (sweets, meat) and have powerful stings to defend their nests. these include the social hornets, yellowjackets, and paper wasps, but many mason wasps and the like are solitary (and, you guessed it, want nothing to do with people). vespids are great predators of caterpillars, flies, and other pests that humans don’t like in addition to being pollinators.

a yellowjacket: Vespula squamosa

the usual anti-wasp, pro-bee sentiments go: wasps attack for no reason, don’t pollinate, don’t make honey, and are “assholes.” wasps do pollinate (most wasps, bees and ants don’t eat solid food, and therefore largely drink flower nectar; some plants are only pollinated by wasps).

some tropical wasps do actually make honey, though it’s not harvested by humans. it’s sort of silly to say that making honey is what makes bees “good” though—a very selfish mindset, and for example butterflies are well-liked by people despite not making any edible products for us.

wasps also attack only when provoked, either because you’re near a wasp nest or when you lean on one accidentally. they are defending their baby sisters and themselves, same as bees would. at least in the US, I think the reason that wasps are so hated is that we have many species of paper wasp and yellowjacket that are willing to nest on or under houses, while the (invasive) honeybees prefer trees or are kept by beekeepers in artificial hives, so it’s just more likely you’ll run into problems with wasps than bees.

tl;dr:

wasps and bees are neither “nice” nor “mean.”

bees are mostly loners that don’t bother people. colonial bees will sting to defend their nests or themselves from predators. most bees are pollinators, who gather pollen to feed their larvae. a few species make honey that humans harvest.

wasps are mostly loners that don’t bother people. colonial wasps will sting to defend their nests or themselves from predators. most wasps are pollinators, and most hunt or parasitize other insects to feed their larvae.

[dragon-creates]

Funnybunny Week 2025

Prompt: Fight

AU: Murder Drones AU by @croissantberry @funnybreadd and me!

AO3

Jax tapped his fingers against his arms, both of them crossed over his chest as he awkwardly waited for Pomni’s outside her and her father’s home. She had gotten into another fight with her dad - with Caine hiding more information about Pomni’s mother again.

Eventually Pomni shoved the door open and slammed it behind her, her eyes tired and frustrated. “So…how did he fry your circuits this time?” Jax asked.

Pomni averted her gaze from him, hugging herself, “...it was the toy she gave me before she died. I thought I lost it but…Caine was hiding it from me. Because it hurt him to see it!” Pomni scoffed, rubbing a non-existent tear away, “It doesn’t matter if I needed it for comfort as a kid, his feelings matter more! It’s not like he buried himself in his work and ignored his only child while she was grieving! Oh wait! He did!”

Jax pursed his lips, he wasn’t great at comforting others - his only purpose was to kill after all. But Pomni was a special little robot, tying his internal wires into many knots, “Pomni…”

“Just…just leave me be,” Pomni looked up at him, pleadingly.

Jax nodded, she needed her space, “Okay.”

Part of him wanted to stop her, but it was best to let her walk away for now. He hated seeing her hurt…because it annoyed him of course! Not because he felt sorry for her. No…definitely not that. 

.

.

.

“JAX!”

The drone groaned when hearing the familiar voice, “Need anything Rags?”

The redheaded robot grunted at his tone, “Your pet’s gone loose! She’s tearing our base apart!”

Now this was new to Jax, Pomni wasn’t usually a ‘destroy first talk later’ kind of girl, “Did you see anything wrong with her?”

“I don’t know!” Ragatha suddenly paused. “Oh no.”

Jax raised a concerned brow, “‘Oh no’ what?!”

“Her eyes,” Ragatha paled. “They were yellow.”

Jax froze. The only time Pomni’s eyes were yellow was during the cabin trip…where she killed whoever was in her path.

Jax pushed past Ragatha, spreading his wings as he zoomed back to their base. There he could see Pomni, settled on top as she gnawed on the head of a deceased drone - like a damn animal.

“Heyyyy Pomni,” he slowly approached her, the female robot cocked her head in his direction. “How about we put down the dead remains and clean up this mess you made, yeah?”

A distorted giggle left her throat, throwing the head away and beelining for him. Jax didn’t get a moment to prepare himself when she body-slammed herself into him, shoving him into the ground, “What’s wrong Jax? I thought you out of everyone would appreciate a little blood and gore from time to time.”

Jax struggled underneath her, she had gotten stronger overtime, “First of all, we don’t have blood hon, we’re robots. And second, I’m not gonna let you do something you’ll regret when you’re lucid.”

“Hmm, fine,” she hummed. Her tail rose above him, the feral mouth on the end of it grinning madly at him. Like a wolf ready to pounce.

Jax made a disgruntled noise, wrapping a leg around Pomni’s waist and pulled her off him. He stood quickly, flapping his wings as he hovered into the air, “Come on Pomni, you gotta snap out of it! Don’t let your dad make you go crazy!”

Now that got Pomni’s attention, but not for the reasons Jax hoped for, “Caine? Hehe. I’m sure he’ll make a good meal. After all, he never cared for me. So why should I care for him?”

Her own wings spread, turning to fly to the dorms. Jax had to act fast, bringing out his gun from his arm and firing it towards an abandoned building. He watched as the rubble fell in front of Pomni, blocking her path. She turned to him again, her smile unfeeling and heartless, “Don’t get in my way Jax, I have no problem with getting rid of pests.”

“I have years of experience hon,” Jax grinned, determined. “You got nothing on me.”

Something flickered in her eyes, “We’ll see.”

Her hand flicked, the familiar triangle symbol from her hand appearing as it wrapped around Jax’s waist, throwing him into another building. Jax squeezed his eyes shut when he was thrown into the glass, shattering around him when he landed on the floor. Okay, that hurt.  But it wasn’t his first rodeo.

He flew back out again, circling Pomni and dodging her attacks. Whatever he did, he couldn’t hurt her. What was it that worked last time she was like this…wait, he got it. But it was definitely gonna sting. 

He fired his gun into the sky, creating a distraction. Pomni’s eyes darted up briefly, that was all he needed. He flew towards her, wrapping her arms around her tight. When she tried to use her symbol again, his gun switched to a blade and blocked the attack before it could happen. Her tail reached for his - here it goes. 

Jax brought his arm up, letting her stab him with his own tail. Yup, that stung. But it did the trick. Pomni’s eyes flashed from yellow back to its regular red and blue at the realization of what she did, “Jax?!”

Her facial features glitched for a moment, her body going limp. Jax was quick to catch her, holding her bridal style, safe and secure. He stuck his hand into his mouth, letting it heal quicker as she came to. “Hey sleeping beauty, feeling better?”

“Ugh, no, whasss happenin?” Pomni blinked, slurring her words.

“Oh you know, just a little chaos and destruction,” Jax told her. “You kinda had a breakdown thanks to your dad.”

“I’m sssssorry,” Pomni replied apologetically and sad. She looked like a kicked puppy.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Jax smiled down at her. “It could’ve been worse.”

It didn’t seem to make her feel better. Jax ran a comforting hand through her hair, bringing her head forward to rest on his shoulder, “How about we just heat up some oil and take a nap, how does that sound?”

“Will you hold me?” Pomni asked innocently.

Jax’s vitals sped up, if he could blush he would be doing just that, “Uh, yeah hon. If you want me to.”

“Thanksss,” Pomni snuggled in closer to him. “I’m sorry again.” 

His metaphorical heart broke when he heard her sniffle, “Hey now, it’ll be fine. Soon enough this’ll be something we’ll laugh about in the future. You’ll be alright.”

Pomni sniffed, “Okay.”

He watched as her breathing evened out, slouching against him as sleep took over her. Jax flew off back to the dorms, Pomni fast asleep in his arms. He really had it bad for this girl.  

[poppylovestowrite]

Uptight Boss | Karma x Reader

He's late. Again.

How many times is that? Three? He's been here for a year now, he should know better.

The person you were currently cursing in your head was Karma Akabane. One of the staff members in the office you manage. He was supposed to be here over an hour ago, and yet, he isn't. 

Your secretary felt your irritation when she saw you looking at Karma's empty desk.

"He'll be here soon. He's late, but he doesn't miss a day." She tries to reassure you and adds a smile for effect, even though that never works on you.

"Well, he shouldn't be late regardless." You shook your head. "Well, enough of him. Did you find the new schedule I asked you to print out?"

"O-oh right!" Your secretary squeaks and starts rummaging through her desk. However, in the back of her mind, she did question why you're not as upset with her about losing these papers. Because you would scold her for the tiniest things.

Just as your secretary found the paper, Karma Akabane finally decided to show up.

"Akabane. I'm so glad you decided to show up for work finally." You curtly greeted with a sarcastic smile.

"This time I have a good excuse," Karma says, cool and aloof as always.

Normally, everyone around the office would immediately apologize to you. You're a strict boss and want to keep everything in order.

However, when it came to Karma, it was a different story. This man did not care for authority. He's the only one who had the nerve to talk back and even give you some snide comments. 

The nerve of him, honestly.

"Oh, then pray to tell." 

"Traffic."

You deadpanned

That's the oldest excuse in the book. Not to mention, traffic was just fine today. 

"Ugh." You scoffed. "Get to work."

"You're the boss." Karma smiles.

The two of you went your separate ways, and the people around the office could only watch and stare in surprise at the lack of tension. You were known to be extremely strict, and Karma was known to be the slacker. That was obviously going to stir up some arguments between the two of you. And it has, which is why those around you expected to be a lot harsher on Karma.

But, lately, you weren't as strict with him as you used to be.

And that's because you're dating the redhead.

You weren't exactly sure how it happened either. Ever since Karma started working here, the man has been testing your patience. The reason you haven't fired him is because, believe it or not, the slacker is actually good at his job. When things get hectic, you can rely on him.

One time, when you were about to head home, you were walking past Karma's desk and noticed him fast asleep, with stacks and stacks of paper already done.

Something that night made you see Karma differently. He was still a pest in every sense of the word, but you grew to respect him. And that grew into a crush. The feeling was mutual since the two of you were seeing each other a lot.

Then, the office threw a party. One with alcohol in it. One thing led to another, you ended up on his lap and making out with him in secret. 

You wanted to blame it all on the alcohol and forget about the whole thing, crossing it off as a "heat of the moment" kind of thing. But you couldn't get him off your mind. Karma allured you, as well as you allured him. He just kept breaking down your defences. He would secretly run his fingers down your thigh, flirt with you when he could, and find ways to be alone with you.

After a few late-night hookups, he manages to convince you to be in a relationship with him.

So the problem? Well, the problem was that relationship in the building was prohibited. You may be the boss of this floor, but you have no control over changing any rules of the building. 

It was upsetting, but no use fussing over it now. You already made your decision to stay with the redhead in secret. 

You stayed in your office most of the time but were beginning to feel tired and found yourself wanting to sleep on your desk. Ugh, that cup of coffee this morning wasn't strong enough you supposed. You pushed your chair back and stood up to leave your office.

You can always get your secretary to get you the coffee, but you need an excuse to walk around. Besides, you like your coffee in a specific way that nobody can do it right. 

Just when you were about to enter the kitchen, you heard two women talking about Karma and you. 

"I'm surprised the Boss didn't throw Akabane out the window this morning." One of the office workers said. 

"Right? I was late yesterday and she gave me a ten-minute lecture in front of everyone." She scoffs. 

"... Well, to be fair, you were late for a very important meeting." She says and her friend just rolls her eyes. 

"You don't think they're dating?"

You flinched but kept quiet.

"Oh please, not everyone who hates each other secretly wants to fuck. You watch too many office dramas"

"I'm just saying. Those two don't argue as much anymore."

"Probably because it's exhausting." She sighs. "There is no getting through that guy."

You quickly turned your heels, ignoring the rest of the conversation. 

No, no, no!

This is what you were afraid of. 

You know it's just two people gossiping. It happens.

But, if one person was able to point out how different Karma and you have been acting towards each other, then it's only a matter of time before everyone in the office draws to their own conclusion. What if HR starts to get suspicious? What if the higher-ups hear about this?

You cannot allow this.

As much as you were panicking on the inside, you remained cool and firm as you walked through the floor of the office and went straight to your secret boyfriend.

"Akabane, can I see you in my office?" 

You have to kill off any suspicion. That's why, instead of getting your secretary to bring Karma to your office, you went up to him yourself. To show everyone what you weren't through with this redhead yet. Everyone thinks you let Karma off the hook, but if you came up to him like this, everyone would think that even Karma can't escape any of your rules. 

"Hm? Sure boss."

Karma acting arrogant and smug, shouldn't be anything new to anyone or out of the ordinary, so no one questioned his carefree attitude when you wanted him in your office.

Karma followed you to his office. 

You shut the door and even locked it for privacy. 

"What's up~?" he sang innocently as he twirled a lock of your hair.

You brushed his hand away. He wasn't going to smooth talk his way out of this one. 

"Please stop coming into work late, Karma." When it's just the two of you, it is okay to call him by his first name. "If I keep letting you off the hook, people will get suspicious."

"Sorry," Karma says, though, he sure didn't sound sorry. "But my girlfriend kept me busy last night."

"We weren't out that late." You sighed. 

Because you had to go to work a bit earlier, you couldn't spend the night with him.

"Did you suddenly forget that I'm also your boss? I can't give you special treatment." You remind him. You're pretty sure you made that abundantly clear on the first day the two of you established the relationship.

"Then chastise me in front of everyone next time. I don't care." He then smiles. "I think it's hot when you're mad at me."

You gave him a face but softly chuckled. He was such a strange man, but you couldn't help but adore him.

"At least make an effort to come to work early." You try to reason with him. "I'm not asking as your boss, I'm asking as your girlfriend. I don't want either one of us to lose our jobs."

Karma hummed.

"Okay. But~" Karma sang. "Only if you agree to come to my house for dinner tonight."

The corner of your lip twitched up to a smile. 

"Deal."

The man smiled earnestly at your answer. As much as Karma hates following rules, you're glad he was willing to put in an effort for you.

"Well, now that's taken care of..." Karma lowered his voice as a sly smirk crept up on him.

Knowing what he wanted, you allowed him to snake his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss. A kiss he has been craving since he saw you today. 

It was okay to kiss him in here. Your office is locked and the blinds cover the window that has a view of the office. As for the window that had a view of the building, it was okay to leave the blinds up. Your office was up way too high for anyone to see through, especially with the sun glaring down on it.

Karma's kisses grew a bit more intense as he pushed you to the edge of your desk. He lifts you to sit on it, causing some of your items to rattle and fall. The noise wasn't loud enough to garner the attention of anyone outside so no one bothered to check on you.

For a second you both pull apart to exchange flirty smiles before resume kissing in a needy fashion. Your fingers would comb through his red locks while his hands tightly grip your waist, prompting you to gasp.

The supervisor in you was telling you that this is wrong. You expect everyone working under you to follow every single rule here, yet here you are, making out with one of your subordinates. You were being a hypocrite. 

But, for Karma, you don't care. This man has you under some sort of spell that makes you want to break the rules for him. His lips and touch were so addicting that you could get lost forever. However, you were able to snap back to reality before things got too far when you felt Karma's hand going under your pencil skirt to reach for your underwear.

You hurriedly pushed off the man and hopped off your desk.

"N-not here." You said sternly as you smoothed out your skirt and blouse. 

"What? It's not like we haven't done it in your office before." He grins devilishly at you. 

"It was after hours. When everyone but us went home." You frowned. 

And even then that was a bit risky.

Karma leaned in and kissed your neck.

"They won't hear us if we're quiet," the redhead murmured in a husky tone. He wrapped his arms around your waist, trapping you in his hold. 

You're not going to lie, you felt extremely tempted and even glanced at the door, telling yourself that everyone should be too busy with their own work to even come in here. Especially when you felt Karma's kisses on your sensitive neck.

Dammit, why does he have to be so hot?

You fought the urge to pull him for more kisses and just pushed him off. There was an obviously disappointed look on his face, but he didn't pressure you. 

"No. Just go back to work. And, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to work over your lunch break. I have to give you some sort of punishment."

Much to your surprise, Karma doesn't argue with you. He normally doesn't get mad when he's in trouble. Especially now since his tardiness gave him an excuse to be in your office to make out with you in secret. 

"Yeah, yeah." He says with a lazy smile. "Just remember we have a date tonight."

"I don't forget things," you cheekily tell him as you adjust his suit and hair so it doesn't look as though Karma was making out with someone when he walks out of here. "Now leave."

As a goodbye, Karma kissed your forehead. 

"See you later." Your boyfriend tells and playfully sticks his tongue out.

And the look on your face just made him want to brag to everyone that only he can make you, the uptight (y/n) blush like that. But, of course, he won't. His relationship was far more important than anything. 

He leaves your office, and a wave of disappointment swims through you. But, you know why you can't have him in your office for very long. 

You continued your work, hoping Karma would at least make it sound like you gave him an earful. That way, supposedly rumor would just die down. You didn't hear anything else throughout the day. You only caught your subordinates gossiping about the other workers. 

You can breathe another day.

For the whole day, you couldn't help but look forward to tonight. You don't have to be Karma's boss, you can just be his girlfriend and enjoy a nice meal with him. After work, you quickly went home to change and shower and drove straight to Karma's house. 

You didn't realize just how hungry you were until you stepped into Karma's apartment and smelled the food he prepared. 

"This smells so good." You said dreamily and then started to eat, but being careful not to stuff down your entire plate.

"Did you eat anything today?" Karma asks. 

You swallowed. "No. I had a cup of coffee and a muffin for breakfast. But that's about it."

"You push yourself too hard. Tsk."

"Try being in my shoes for a day."

"Oh, I could if I would. I would even be a better boss than you, sweet cheeks." Karma says smugly.

"Something about that thought terrifies me." You muttered.

"As it should."

The two of you continued to talk and eat. Whenever you would rant about something that happened at work, he would listen. Today you had to bitch about one of your superiors and how incompetent he is. Karma asked you if you wanted him to put laxatives in his drinks. To which you told him not to. Though, you were tempted to say yes.

When dinner was finished, you helped him with the dishes, though, you didn't finish as quickly as you wanted because Karma kept playfully flicking water in your direction. 

After a few scolding here and there, the two of you managed to finish. To end this date, the two of you cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie. 

It was a stupid rom-com movie. You only told Karma this, but it's one of your guilty pleasures. He can go ahead and tell everyone in the office, but he knows no one is going to believe him. 

You like it because the plot is always so simple which is what you need after a long and stressful day.

Not to mention, it is also perfect for getting you to sleep.

"Want me to drive you home?" Karma asks when he sees how heavy your eyes are getting.

You tiredly shook your head and cuddled closer to him.

The redhead couldn't help but smile at what he was seeing. 

"Okay," Karma says quietly.

Very soon, you fell asleep on his chest. Karma lowered the volume of his TV and kissed your forehead.

When the movie ends, he'll put you to bed and call it a night. 

He's got to get up early tomorrow for work too.  

[bts-hyperfixation]

Bringing Innocence into Sin

A YoongixFem!Reader fanfiction

Summer Madness 4/32 You decide it's finally time for Yoongi and you to start a family but he isn't so certain. Pregnancy, breeding, praise kinks

"Yoongles?" You call through the house giggling. 

"I thought I told you not to call me that..." Yoongi calls from the bedroom.

You sweep through the building, happily making your way to your husband. You spent the entire day with your friend and her newborn and it had made you so broody you felt like you might explode. 

Yoongi is standing in front of the mirror admiring his new tie. You sit on the edge of the bed and watch as he unties it and reties it into a Windsor before loosening it and pulling it over his head. Your eyes fixate on how his hands flex as he hands the tie on the wardrobe door. 

"You seem chipper." He observes.

He crosses the room quickly, leaning down to peck you on the lips as he removes the rest of his day clothes. You reach up to help him push his shirt down his shoulders, but end up being more of a hindrance as you decide to drag him down to meet you on the bed instead, the loose fabric caught around his elbows preventing him from pushing away as you kiss him deeper. Not that he seems to object. 

He shakes himself loose from the shirt and grabs you around the waist moving you up the bed so he can cover your body with his. He bites at your lower lip bruising the tender skin before his lips leave yours to trail along the collum of your neck. 

You use your nails to scratch at his back in a way that drives him mad. You make sure to draw a little heart when you reach his gang tattoo, leaving a red mark around his 7. He bites hard at your collarbone as a warning to lay off but you know he doesn't mean it. You tease him, digging your nails into his biceps and leaving half-moon marks. 

"Not that I'm complaining love, but what's put you in this mood?" He asks.

He leans up on his good arm and uses his free hand to push your hair away from your face. 

"Seeing that little baby today... it just had me thinki..." You start.

He doesn't let you finish. He grumbles and pushes away from you, leaving you alone on the bed. 

"No Y/N." He says decisively.

"But I thought we could revisit it... You said we could talk about it again." You pout.

You stand and walk over to him as he searches through his drawers for a shirt. You rub your hands soothingly along the welts that had started to appear on his pale skin. 

"It's not safe for us to have a baby Y/N." He sighs.

"You keep saying that." You roll your eyes knowing he can't see you. "At some point, we just need to bite the bullet Yoongi, your job is not going to get any safer..."

"Of course it will, we just need to deal with the little pest problem sm has caused. We can talk about it then." 

He shrugs your hands away and pulls his new shirt over his head. He doesn't pause to look at you as he heads out into the living room. You traipse behind him, much less airily than when you'd walked in. Your husband really did have a way of blowing the wind out of your sails. 

"And how long is that going to take Yoongi? Because your last excuse took 5 months, and the one before that took almost a year. I just want to know when to ask you again, even though I'm sure there will be yet another looming threat by then." 

You tap your foot impatiently waiting for him to turn to you, but he doesn't. Instead, he parades into the kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge. He should know better than to ignore you by now. You take the beer away from him, he glares at the empty space his can had occupied before reaching back into the fridge for another. 

"For fucks sake Yoongi! Answer me. We can't wait forever, I won't be able to have kids forever." You shout.

"Keep your voice down." He growls.

"No!" You shout petulantly. "We need to have this conversation Yoongi, I'm tired of you shutting me down every time. Every other high-ranking member has kids, Even Namjoon is about to welcome a little brat with his mistress, so why can't we have one?"

"Are you stupid?" He shouts back.

Tears form in the corner of your eyes. He never shouts at you, and he has never called you a name before. You stutter and back away, watching him wearily. He huffs and shakes his head, rubbing his eyes in annoyance. 

"Look we need to calm down. I can't talk to you like this." He says and pushes past you again. 

With that, you'd had enough. You weren't going to let him see you cry, and you weren't going to put up with his attitude. You make a point of slamming the door shut as you leave.

______________

A couple of hours later and you're on cocktail number four, drowning your sorrows. You're sat at the bar scrolling through social media and hating yourself a little more every time you see another pregnancy announcement or family portrait. It wasn't like you didn't know you were marrying into a dangerous life and you wouldn't get to have all the normal things in life. But you thought one day you could have a family.

Yoongi would make an amazing father, of that you were certain. 

You lay your head on the bar, earning a disapproving glare from the bartender, but he wouldn't dare breathe a word to you, not when this bar was owned by Bangtan. 

"Are you drunk?" 

You groan as your husband slides onto the barstool next to yours. 

"Not drunk enough." You mumble.

 You drag your head off the table to face him.

"How did you find me?" 

"Hobi's in the back. He texted me as soon as you sat down." He nods towards the office.

"Could you not let me lament the loss of my dreams in peace?" You grumble.

"Well, that seems a bit dramatic Jagiya. You want more in life than to be a mother and we both know it." He cocks an eyebrow at you.

He is more than used to your over-dramatic approach to problems. 

"Yeah, well, not right now I don't." 

"Come on, let's go home and talk about this." He says looking around the bar at the nosey patrons that were clearly listening.

"Sorry, I think I'm too stupid to find my way home..." You scoff.

"I didn't... I didn't mean that..." He looks ashamed.

As he should.

You slide out of the bar stool and stumble a little bit, his arms reach out to catch you on reflex but you meet him with a dirty glare. 

"I'm not drunk Yoongi, my heel got stuck." You flick your hair over your shoulder and walk away from him.

You don't stop to see if he is following you, practically running down the street to your shared home.

Of course, he is hot on your heels, but you don't acknowledge him. You can feel the anger seeping into your bones, pushing out any of the self-pity and sadness you had been wallowing before. Your rath left no room for other emotions.

You slam the front door in his face and head up to the bedroom with the intention of locking the door behind you so he would have to sleep on the sofa. But he is too quick.

He yelps as his foot gets caught in the door and you stifle a triumphant chuckle. 

"Would you just stop and talk to me?" He asks, clearly tired of your attitude.

"You didn't want to talk to me earlier, why should I indulge you now? Or is this one of those things I'm just too stupid to understand?" 

You spit the word like its venom on your tongue. Never in your life have you been so offended by a word. It's not even the word itself. It's the fact that HE said it. The man you thought would never belittle you the way others in your life had done. 

"I... I didn't mean to call you stupid Y/N" He stumbles over his words.

"But you did Yoongi."

"But I didn't mean it, not like that. You are not stupid. The situation is stupid." He tries to explain but the hole he is digging keeps getting deeper. 

"Oh so I'm not stupid, but me wanting a family is stupid?"

"No... God you're making this so difficult." He groans.

"I'm not doing anything Yoongi, but please tell me how this is all my fault."

"It's not your fault, of course it isn't. I love you and you're perfect. That's the problem." He sighs.

You watch as he moves to sit on the edge of the bed. His arms stretch out towards you and you take a tentative step towards him, allowing him to hold your hips and drag you to him. He buries his head into your tummy, holding you close. 

"I go to work every day petrified that you won't be here when I get home. I can't function properly without knowing you're okay. Adding a baby to that terrifies me. The others... they don't care for their wives and mistresses the way I care about you."

You sigh, resigned, and run your fingers through his hair as he continues to tell you how much you mean to him.

"Knowing the danger just being married to me puts you in fills me with so much guilt Y/N." He tilts his face up to look at you, tears begin to escape down his cheeks. "Of course, I want to give you a family, of course, I think you'll be an amazing mum. But I don't think I'm strong enough to be a dad." He admits.

"Yoongi." You sigh, holding him close. "We can't live our lives in what ifs and possibilities. I understand you're scared, but is that really the only reason you keep putting off having kids?"

He nods against your stomach.

"Then maybe you're the stupid one..." 

You cup his face in between your hands and lean down to kiss him. He tastes salty from the tears. 

"If it weren't for your job would you have kids right now?" You ask against his lips.

"In a heartbeat." He responds. 

You lower yourself into his lap, straddling him on the bed. His hands make themselves st home on your bum to keep you in place.

"Then let's have kids Yoongi, we can keep the safe, together."

"But... what i..."

He starts but you cut him off with another kiss. 

"No, no more what ifs. You have kept me safe for years, and I can handle myself believe it or not. Now is a good a time as any." You assure him. 

"Okay." He relents

"Okay?!" You parrot excitedly.

"Okay." He nods. 

You knock him back onto the bed and attach your mouth to his, biting and kissing messily in your tipsy excitement. He entertains your over-enthusiasm for a short while, squeezing your hips to keep you on top of him. You grind your hips down the best you can as his grip on you tightens to keep you where you are. 

"Jagiya, now is not the time to tease me." He growls.

He flips you off of him and you land on the mattress with a bounce. It makes you giggle as he slips onto the floor and undoes your shoes. He kisses your ankles before moving up to remove your pants. Again his lips trail along your legs, all the way down one and up the other, hovering close enough to your panties that you can feel his warm breath hitting the wet spot gathering in the middle of the cotton. 

"You're so beautiful, love." He mutters.

You help him to remove your shirt, and his lips find your belly button, his tongue circling around and around before trailing towards your mound. 

"Can't wait to see how stunning you look with your tummy all swollen." 

His fingers flutter down your sides, tingling your warm skin as they go. They wrap around your panties when they reach the waistband, tugging quickly to remove the flimsy fabric. He mouths at the newly bared skin, skillfully avoiding actually making any contact with your clit.

You whine and reach for his hair to pull him where you want him most, but he bats your hands away. When you try again, he intertwines your fingers and keeps you there so he can continue without interruption. 

"Be a good girl for me Y/N, you'll get what you want when I've taken what I need." He assures.

His tongue flicks out and hits your clit to punctuate his point and your legs curl up in response. His ministrations continue as he becomes a little rougher, sucking hickeys into the skin around your panty line, leaving behind pretty little purple and blue marks. 

"Do you think you can keep your hands to yourself now?" He asks, meeting your eyes.

You nod and he lets you go. His hands steady him on your thighs as his face disappears back between your thighs. You prepare yourself, grasping at the covers to keep your hands from wandering away. But Yoongi doesn't touch you again. He blows cool air onto your pussy, making you shiver. Your toes curl as he teases you, controlling his breath to apply barely-there pleasure.

"Weren't you the one complaining about being teased a moment ago." You groan, leaning up on your elbows to look at him. 

"I want to take my time and worship you, is that a crime?" He asks, a shit-eating grin lurking on his face.

"It is if it means you aren't touching me." YOu sigh, dramatically flopping back on the pillows.

"Oh... I see, let me make that up to you."

He slides two fingers inside of you as his lips attach around your clit, tongue drilling circles into the sensitive nerves. He doesn't allow you to adjust as his two fingers curl inside of you in time with his tongue. You cling to the covers, back arching up on the bed to escape his onslaught. But his free arm reaches up to push you back down flat giving him far better access. 

He groans against you as he tastes you, licking long stripes along your slit and dodging around his fingers as they pump inside of you. Each time he reaches your clit he sucks gently and moves on quickly, edging you so close but not letting you tip over the edge just yet. 

You whine, frustrated by the almost enough stimulation.

"You sound so pretty when you're whiny." He chuckles. "You are giving me absolutely no incentive to let you cum."

"I heard a woman is more likely to get pregnant if she cums." You try to persuade him, although it comes out slightly unintelligible. 

"I'm fairly certain that's a myth, and I'm pretty sure, you require my dick to be inside of you for that anyway." He shrugs.

Still, his tongue does begin a constant figure-eight rhythm against your nerves, bringing you to the edge just as his fingers reach that sweet spot inside of you to push you over into your orgasm. You pant heavily as he pulls away from you long enough to remove his own clothes before he crawls back on top of you. 

"How do you want me?" He asks, dipping down to kiss your collarbones.

"Just like this, want to see your face, want to kiss you, want it to feel like we are actually making love." You say dragging his chin back up so his lips were level with yours.

"Any position with you feels like making love to me Jagi." He says, but does as you direct.

He lines himself up with your entrance. His free hand interlocks with one of yours, his eyes never breaking contact as he sinks down into your awaiting heat. He uses his free hand to balance himself just above you leaning on his forearm so he is close enough o kiss you in between thrusts. It's messy and wet, and amazing. Your free hand drags along his back making him groan as the pain of your scratches mix with the pleasure of being inside of you. 

He keeps the rhythm slow and sensual, grinding low so each thrust has him brushing against your clit sending tingles through your limbs.

"You feel so amazing raw." He groans, hips stuttering just a little. "If I'd gotten out of my own way I guess I could've felt you like this so much sooner. I'm throwing away every condom we own."

You don't answer him, your eyes rolling back a little as he fucks you almost too well.  Just as your orgasm builds for a second time, he buries himself deep inside of you. He groans and collapses against you as his orgasm washes over him, cuddling into the crook of your neck. 

"Do you think you're more likely to get pregnant if I keep myself stuffed inside of you?" He asks getting comfortable.

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't make a difference..." You answer.

"Well if you are only pretty sure, not completely, then I best stay here just in case." 

You can feel his smile against your neck as he clearly feels a little too happy with himself.

Ask Box - Please send me thirsty/funny/angsty bts thoughts

Masterlist

Summer Madness Masterlist

...

[possumsandprose]

Secret Santa

@shedoessoshedoes surprise! I'm your secret santa!

I did have to split this fic into two parts, but the next part will be out when I get back from my trip (middle of January). I promise the next part will have a happy ending and lots of fluff, but until then, I had to go with my speciality-some good ol' angst.

With all that said, enjoy your fic!

Nesta Archeron was about one more snide comment away from slapping this muscled, leather clad idiot upside the head with his own maps, pouring the ink bottles all over his perfectly polished leathers, and then ramming the quill through the Adam’s apple that was currently moving as he droned on and on about something she had long since stopped listening to. 

Regrettably, Elain seemed to like this one, and had a particular fancy for the elder of the brothers-she was no fool, and she saw the looks they had exchanged over the dinner table and in passing when they thought no one was looking. However, no matter how happy Elain was (and Feyre, she supposed, since it was her “family”, as she called them), Nesta was absolutely done with them. More specifically, the brute Cassian. The big idiot with his wavy black hair, glowing red gemstones like the dying glows of the falling sun, the brown eyes as warm and inviting as melted chocolate, the thick muscles lined faintly with the scars of a thousand long-forgotten battles, and the-

Nesta shook her golden-brown hair slightly. What had gotten into her? She should not be thinking of him in this way. He was an annoyance, an inconvenience, a problem, a pest, a burden, a distraction- but what a pretty distraction he is, her traitorous mind whispered.

She let out a slight huff. Enough of this. 

“-and with supplies from Rask and troops from Montesere, we can-” Cassian was saying as Nesta interjected,

“That feels like a lot of assumptions. We can’t base any hope on these plans until we receive confirmation, and if we are denied then it seems more than likely these Hybern people have already won them over, meaning that not only can we not rely on their help, but will have to plan against them.”

Soft murmurs of agreement rose from around the room, and Nesta noted how Elain’s head turned to the eldest brother, Azriel, for his reaction. 

Cassian gave her a curious look-she supposed he hadn’t expected her to be paying attention, or if she was, to have given it much thought.

“You’re correct, I guess, and so with that said, shall we simply wait until we receive news from the Continent?” Cassian asked the room at large, which was met with support from all, everyone clearly done with another long day of what seemed like fruitless strategizing.

Everyone began to file out of the room towards their respective sleeping quarters, until eventually only Nesta, who was cleaning off the surfaces that had ink on them, and Cassian, who was rolling maps back up and sealing them, were left. 

“How long do you anticipate you’ll need to be here, then, since I presume you won’t bother going all the way back to wherever you came from without the letter having come?” Nesta asked grumpily.

“A week, at least, maybe more. Officials aren’t known for their quick responses. I sent Rhys a request to have a broken lamppost fixed by my training studio in Velaris since he sorts all that out, and he didn’t get around to it until 76 years later. We still tease him about it to this day,” Cassian responded.

Nesta let out a snort at that, she could definitely see it happening. But then she focused more on the first part of what he had said.

“A week? Seriously? You’ve already been here for 2!” she exclaimed angrily.

“Sorry princess, that’s just how it is. Believe me, I want to be out of your pretty blonde hair as much as you want me out of it, but there’s nothing I can do,” Cassian said, attempting to sound sincere, but Nesta didn’t miss the subtle smirk on his face.

“Don’t call me princess,” she snapped, “and you’d do well to remember that I am graciously hosting you here of my own free will. If you feel the need to be glib, find somewhere else to stay.”

“Apologies, milady,” Cassian said with a dramatic bow, “consider me chastised. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get my beauty sleep. I suggest you do the same, who knows, tomorrow you might even be able to look at me without being filled with hatred and anger-”

He cut off as Nesta’s finger jabbed him hard in the chest, she having marched over in a fit of anger.

“Watch your tongue, you pathetic excuse for a mammal, or I will cut it out for you. If your goal here was to persuade the humans that the fae are not as bad as we have been raised to believe, then I must say, you have failed quite spectacularly in that task,” Nesta spat at him, but Cassian wasn’t listening. He felt something. Deep within him. He’d never felt it before in all 500 odd years of his life, but he knew without a doubt what it was.

Mating bond. Mating bond. Mating bond.  His thoughts chanted at him over and over again, and his head was spinning. As he racked his brains for something to say to her, he realized she had already stormed outside, presumably to blow out the lanterns swinging outside before going to bed.

As he watched, though, a sight so horrific it would play in his nightmares for the rest of his life unfolded in front of him.

From seemingly nowhere, out of the sky, a massive black raven, the size of a large horse, swooped down and snatched Nesta in its claws. She struggled and kicked and beat, but to no avail. With one flap of its mighty wings, the raven sailed away into the sky.

Cassian knew that raven. That was one of Hybern’s ravens. And it had just taken his mate.

@acotargiftexchange

I hope you enjoyed! And apologies if this isn't amazing or goes against something you asked for-I've been super sick for the past month and it has been taking its toll on my cognitive faculties.

Love,

Possum

[radiaurapple]

Lucid Dreams of New Orleans: Chapter 7

CHAPTER SUMMARY: IN WHICH Alastor resolves a pest problem.

The last time Lucifer saw his father, he was granted a fragment of His divine power — a punishment in the guise of a blessing — that he might serve as steward of the wayward souls cast down into Hell. It is a cruel gift, designed to ensure that he will always be haunted by his mistakes; Lucifer has endured the past seven thousand years by avoiding its use at all costs. But in the aftermath of the fight with Adam, Alastor’s worsening injury threatens the foundations of his daughter’s dream. Lucifer does what any good father would do: he uses his long-forgotten power to deliver Alastor’s soul from the brink of destruction. In turn, knowing Alastor — with all his sins, past lives, and heartbreaks — teaches Lucifer a little more about what it means to be human.

[AO3 LINK]

New chapter and new art!! note that chapter 6 is an interlude so this takes place directly after chapter 5. Next chapter is dropping in a week as usual!! chapter preview below 📻🍎

All Hell breaks loose the next morning. 

Niffty has, apparently, been keeping a colony of more than three hundred rats in her room — and the prior evening, while Alastor was occupied with his interrogation, she had seen fit to set them loose in the hotel. 

Charlie calls an emergency meeting after Angel Dust wakes the hotel with his — frankly childish — screeching about a rat in his bathtub. 

They convene in the kitchen to assess the situation. Niffty, perched on the counter, snickers and openly admits to releasing the rats for what she terms their playtime. 

A consensus quickly emerges. Niffty is Alastor’s responsibility; so, too, are the rats. 

Alastor’s dominion over the radio is equal parts blessing and curse in his search and rescue operation. If he concentrates, he can hear the shuffling, sniffing, and squeaking of all 312 rats in the hotel — which, while helpful in locating the rats, makes it more difficult for him to plead ignorance regarding those that have wormed their way into the worst predicaments imaginable.

This is how Alastor finds himself on his knees, dismantling the toilet in Husker’s bathroom.

“Oh, Hell,” Angel Dust says — Alastor hadn’t heard him come in, focused as he is on loosening two pipes in the water line that appear to have somehow, in the six weeks since they rebuilt the hotel, rusted together. 

Alastor grimaces. “I’m quite busy.”

“Sure,” Angel says. “Y’know, you ain’t gonna find a rat inside the pipes. They can’t live in there.”

“These ones can. I’ve come to the conclusion that these are not rats — they’re demons, sent from some lower ring of Hell to ruin us. They are relentlessly determined to evade me. And they. Don’t. Die.” Alastor heaves at the wrench with both hands — it budges perhaps an inch. He huffs. 

“Huh.”

Alastor shakes out his aching hands and looks up at Angel. “Can I help you?”

“Oh — yeah, I was just wondering if my bathroom is clear, now, or if I should wait to shower? It’s just, I gotta get to work soon.” 

Alastor listens — one of his ears twitches. 

“It should be fine, if you’re quick,” he says. 

“Right,” Angel says. He takes off at a run. “Thanks!”

Alastor raises a hand in acknowledgement and returns to his task. The pipes have begun to drip around the join, which complicates matters — Alastor did shut off the water before he began this accursed project, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still wet in there. 

Footsteps behind him. 

“Angel. If don’t leave me to my work, I’ll —” Alastor glances over his shoulder — “Oh. It’s you.”

Lucifer stands behind him, smiling sheepishly, his hands clasped behind his back. “I brought you a present,” he says. 

With a flourish, he produces a rat in a golden cage. The creature is standing on its hind legs with its tiny hands wrapped around the bars. At the sight of Alastor, it shrieks in frustration — further evidence that the creatures’ disdain for him is somehow personal. Lucifer places the cage on the tile next to Alastor.

“Thank you,” Alastor says. “That leaves only —” he cocks his head to the side and listens — “Two hundred and sixty-two. Including this one.” He inclines his head toward the plumbing and resumes the miserable task of loosening the pipes. 

“You don’t know a thing about plumbing, do you?” Lucifer says. 

Alastor huffs in irritation — Lucifer leans over him with a smug smile on his face. “Those pipes are heat welded,” Lucifer says. “You’ll be here all day if you insist on using a wrench. Allow me.”

Before Alastor can protest, Lucifer tugs off a glove and places his hand over the join. There is a sizzle, a puff of steam, a flare of heat across Alastor’s face — and the two pipes come apart effortlessly in Lucifer’s hand with a cartoonish and unnecessary pop. Lucifer withdraws, a smug smile on his face — his fingers leave molten orange prints behind on the metal, which fade away after a moment. 

“Show-off,” Alastor grumbles. He sends a shadow tentacle in after the pipe rat — a tiny shriek echoes from the darkness. As the rat emerges, it makes a desperate grab for the edge of the pipe, kicking and screaming. 

Lucifer snaps his fingers; the rat disappears and reappears inside the golden cage with its brother. 

“Your assistance is unnecessary,” Alastor grumbles without any real heat — getting into those pipes on his own was pretty miserable. 

Lucifer smiles like Alastor has just given him a compliment. “You’re welcome,” he says. “Now — I need to get back to it. I just made a breakthrough on a project I’m working on, and I have a meeting this afternoon with the other sins.”

“The project is a rubber duck.” 

Lucifer frowns. “What else would it be?” 

“Just confirming,” Alastor says. “Now, there’s another rat in the light fixture. So. If you don’t mind.”

“Oh! Sure. Good luck.” Lucifer backs out of the room, but pauses in the doorway. “I’ll — I’ll see you later? Tonight?”

“I will be back to collect on our deal once every single one of these infernal vermin are back in captivity.” Each word is punctuated by a further unfolding of Alastor’s antlers — he breathes deeply to bring them back under control. “I expect it will take several days. Enjoy your reprieve.”

“Right. Right. Of course. Okay. See you, Al.” Lucifer ducks out of the room.

Alastor stares after Lucifer in confusion for a long moment. Al — the abbreviation reeks of familiarity. The people closest to Alastor had called him that, when he was alive — does Lucifer share that fellowship now, due to the knowledge he’s acquired? The idea is disconcerting, so he puts it aside and returns to his work. 

It takes Alastor all day to wrangle the first 104 rats. He delivers them into Niffty’s waiting hands, and she welcomes each one home by name. 

He heads for the bar, exhausted, to collect the night’s highball from Husker; then he slips into the shadows and across the hotel to his room. He hangs his coat by the door. His ears twitch — on the other side of the wall is the unmistakable cacophony of a dozen displeased rats. 

He peeks his head through the door. He blinks. Twelve pairs of irate red eyes regard him from twelve golden cages, stacked neatly on his doormat like the misguided offerings of a house cat.

A smile creeps across Alastor’s face. He closes the door gently — he’ll bring the rats to Niffty in the morning. 

[AO3 LINK]

[ranticore]

answering asks in a big batch post

my god u guys are curious

nah I don't think they live that long. the matriarchs maybe will take several generations of rider but for the average workers i don't believe their lifespan would be much longer than a human's. maybe an extra 10 or 20 years over the human average, in which case they would be retired (and likely grieving)

@illbecreativelater thank you bestie... yeah absolutely, any recommendations of the pern books need to have a big "this was written in the 1960s" disclaimer attached lol. i have a real soft spot for them for the sci-fi disguised as fantasy aspect, and the plotline of people coming together to rediscover lost technology - if someone reads it purely for dragon riding i think they'd be disappointed. i find it interesting how it launched a genre but the most unique aspects of the story (aforementioned sci-fi elements) were not really replicated in other dragon riding fiction. also um obligatory plug for Said The Black Horse if you like Pern Story since that's where all the characters come from (no dragons tho)

idk

hfkjsg i'm kidding, I didn't think I'd put this much thought into the prehistory stuff so it's still patchy and not internally consistent. re: the mages, they did not go willingly at ALL and it was not the crime of one group - it was unable to be conclusively proven (behind closed doors) what started the "portals spewing out inorganic killing machines" problem. each had dirt on the other and they all stabbed eachother in the back over it during the ensuing tribunals (and it was because Revelation had no leverage over the others that it became the fall guy). there were only a handful of mages in reality, and one of them was fully exonerated and became the judge who gave the sentence and the ensuing punishment. the options presented to the mages were "submit or die", with submission being contingent on their future lives as underground pest control monsters.

the magic was not like dnd wizard magic. it was more esoteric - a study like alchemy which could not actually be weaponised. wizards were vulnerable to physical attack. they weren't throwing out lightning bolts or fireballs, and away from their laboratories, helpers, and equipment, they couldn't cast spells at will. they were, as it turns out, very stoppable. far from the most powerful people in the world - the ability to manipulate the fabric of reality is all well and good but if you don't have a rich patron or king giving you unlimited funding it's not like you can do much. the spell of Turn Into Monster was the last piece of magic powered by extra-dimensional sources before those sources chose to stop humouring spellcasters, and it took years to implement.

magic could not handle the new threat. they tried and failed. it was very much a "i opened a portal to the void to see if it would make my dinky little orrery spin, and something in the void stared back" situation, where that 'something' was not controllable by magical means. the events at Amphora were greater than just a stream of crawling beasts (again, where Amphora once sat there is now a vast plain of completely flat, empty land)

anyway i still need to seal up some of the gaps but essentially, wizards caused the mess collectively, were unable to stop it, and then turned viciously on one another when it became clear their magic wasn't helping and their patrons were no longer willing to support them. many of them were torn from their laboratories by the vengeful public and few survived long enough to see their new lives as wyrms.

Dark age/renaissance/industrial revolution: yes kind of! Even the generations of people directly following the original settling of Siren were forced to live essentially stone-age lives despite being fully aware of technology like LEDs or rocket engines. The mineral composition of Siren made metals really hard to come by, and without an established Industrial Sector they struggled to produce things like medicine (the ol' 'how will you make insulin' question again) and they were shit outta luck for microchips or computers. they could farm, they could make primitive refineries, but it was increasingly clear that if they wanted to reproduce the conveniences of modern Earth life, it would have to be developed again from scratch using only the materials available on Siren. And the more decrepit the original settlement ruins became, the harder it was to access knowledge of the old world, and for a while many societies on Siren were subsistence farmers/hunters only. this dark age birthed many superstitions and myths that persist today, and the theory of 'predecessors' who were like gods who'd come to Siren to populate it with their creations. normally i wouldn't believe stuff like this could happen but tbh i've seen people go full anti-vax in real time and it only takes a few generations of that for entire belief systems to spring up and warp the truth.

the renaissance era is Qedivar's time, it's when the University is at its peak and the study of the natural world and its phenomena has become more science than superstition, it is an era of rapidly expanding knowledge. Industrial Revolution has not taken place however it's not far off on the horizon; the most 'modern' cast of characters I have is a whaling crew in a metal-hulled, coal-powered ship.

which forms of government were most prevalent during the existance of Sirenian civilization? which forms exist currently?: the first Sirenian government was a military dictatorship formed in secret with the first rebels at the helm, which dissolved once its stated goals had been met and the settlement had been destroyed. after that there was an attempt at republicanism but ultimately different groups drifted apart instead of staying all in one place, forming small scattered enclaves around the western continent, usually ruled by whoever chose to go out there and start farming. these developed into villages. pelagic villages in some regions are still ruled by a patriarch (gender neutral) selected by a council of elders based on who has the most experience. there have been as many forms of government over the years across the planet as you can imagine, probably. notably, most of the Eastern continent is ruled by whoever is currently the president of the University. for most prevalent I'd say some form of council, elected or not. but on the eastern coast of the Eastern continent there exists Siren's only bloodline monarchy as well, and that still persists into the renaissance era.

was there any sort of access to advanced knowledge that helped them during the social/cultural/technological development? Not particularly; although people went to Siren specifically to make a settlement and live there, it was never intended to be permanent. when permanently settling other planets (for example, the ship that brought people to Siren originated on another planet, Ceti, and not Earth) the effort would usually be far more robust and massive databanks would provide people with knowledge. the settlement had 3D printers to produce clothing and day to day objects when needed, but they were sabotaged by the last non-allied unmodified humans when it became clear their cause was lost. they also had basic wikipedia level databanks which were stored within their own servers (i.e no cloud backups or anything and no connection to anything outside Siren), which were subject to flood damage and also more sabotage via crowbar, in an attempt to hide from future access what had been done within the genetic lab. parts of the databanks were later able to be accessed (it's how Qedivar got all that information about Ishmael) but as mentioned above, the knowledge was scarce and all but useless. it'd be like a caveman finding a manual for how to turn on a wifi router, but there's no wifi, no router, and no materials to make any of those things.

some of the harpy visors contained the photo albums (3D and immersive videos included) of the pilots who once wore them, which provided a glimpse into Earth or Ceti. they also had digital maps which greatly aided in navigating Siren; there was never any era of exploration, as the geography of the planet was known from the start.

had things like feudalism/class inequality/slavery still emerged, regardless? yes but in small and isolated areas, as the population density of Siren overall is extremely low and it was difficult for anyone to concentrate enough power in one place to enact widespread feudalism or start up a formal slave trade. the monarchy described above does engage in feudalism, for example. class inequality is very pronounced in places like the University but classes are not defined by wealth, rather by scholarly ability. in the west coastal areas of the Eastern continent it is common to simply not have any relationship with your blood relatives on the basis of that relation; that is, even if you know who your parents are (a very rare occurrence). this makes it difficult to concentrate class power via bloodline, and why the monarchy is wildly different and kind of an unthinkable novelty to everyone outside it lol.

[sunflowersunite]

about parenting

Grisha screwed up big time by passing on his titan to Eren. It was a bad move, period. He condemned his son and the world.

"yeah but Eren would have died so much sooner if Grisha hadn't given him the titan. Eren is always doomed to die, with or without a titan, Grisha just delayed it. He did good even if it was morally questionable."

*pulls you closer* no. Do you know what would have happened if Grisha hadn't given Eren his titan? Eren wouldn't have watched Carla die, therefore not join the Scouts and not die in episode 7. And why is that? I'm glad you asked. Because Eren was the one who guided Dina away from Berthold and towards Carla in the first place. Eren, through the power of the titan. Had Grisha made the choice to listen to the visions and not give the titan to Eren, Dina would have eaten Berthold instead.

And what would have happened then?

She'd have turned human, be taken to Erwin and explain to everyone the mystery of the titans and Marley. Three seasons squeezed into two episodes and aot would've been an entirely different story. Chaos. The Survey Corps would've been reorganised, they'd have gathered a tome of information so quickly it would be almost comical.

Eren wouldn't have his titan, he'd have both his parents and minor trauma, so we need a new protagonist. Someone Grisha can pass the titan onto (with the army's permission) because he can't keep it anymore, the 13 years are waning and Paradis needs it, they can't let it get away.

How about Hange? That's a great choice. Hange gets the Attack Titan, I bet she'd love that. Hange is our new protagonist, EMA are her apprentices, Levi and Mikasa are her Ackerman bodyguards and they all make a trip to Marley to kindly complain about their little pest problem.

Look what we could've had, Grisha.

[tanoraqui]

1, 4, 15, 18, 26, and 27!

[ask meme]

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

And What Came Next is barely a "fic" - there is no plot arc and maybe 5% of a character arc. It's just some scenes of varying degrees of completeness connected by what's basically just written-out headcanon, mostly fluffy, post-"canon" for my Silmarillion OC Celechwes and her family, including OC children. It's the sort of thing that usually just lives in my head and in random chats with friends. But so many people have been so eagerly supportive of Celechwes and her story, and I've been trying to lean into AO3 as an archive not just for truly polished fanworks but all fannish creations I want to save - with the guideline that if I would want to read this stuff from someone else, the collected headcanons and bullet-point fics, shouldn't I share my own? So I posted it and lo, people liked it! They exclaimed excitedly in the comments!

Moral of the story: if you're worried that what you're posting is too self-indulgent and incomplete, it's not. There is no such thing. Admittedly it helps that I'd already spent about 65k establishing the relevant characters in a fic that did have plot and character arcs.

4. What piece of media inspired you the most?

Well, obviously I was still on this Silmarillion kick for most of the year... (It's fading now, but I have some really good WIPs that I'm determined to finish.)

Ooh but my favorite new books of the year were the Heartstrikers series by Rachel Aaron! Urban fantasy ft. internecine draconic family politics, vengeful nature spirits and genii locorum, aggressively offered and maintained friendship as a problem-solving method, manipulative seers as another problem-solving method, ghost cats (and armies of undead) as yet a third option, a couple apocalypses, pest control, compelling characters with opposing agendas and vivid worldbuilding and all that good stuff! I want to reread them and then maybe write a next-gen story.

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

My favorite little thing I wrote is this of Maedhros returning to what once was Himring.

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

Oh, god. "And What Comes Next" is so hopelessly generic, which I guess is appropriate given its content. I'm not really satisfied with "The Struggle of Squeamishness" (S&D Tier). "Magic Traps" was hard specifically because the whole Kate Daniels series has titles in this very specific form - Magic Binds, Magic Bleeds, Magic Triumphs, etc - and I wanted to follow it, but all the best words were already used.

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

I worked really hard and for nearly a year, in bits and pieces, on The Minstrel and the Star, trying to capture this very messily nuanced but intense relationship, including an air of worship that I really don't normally go in for, and I'm still not sure I managed to express it exactly as I envision it... But one reviewer described it as "Numinous as well as luminous", which is so exactly what I intended that I must have done something right.

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Er, usually I go to bed. Bedtime is the #1 effective deadline for me to grit my teeth and figure out how to write the last few lines of any given fic. Write sleep-deprived, edit sober, as they say.

[starstruckpurpledragon]

So my doorbell rang and I went to answer because I was hoping it was my new bookshelf being delivered.

It was not.

Pest company doing door to door. And I tried to very politely send him on his way, but he really wanted to give his spiel. So I answered one or two questions in ways that were basically 'i am happy with the company I already use and am entirely uninterested in changing companies.'

Did I just have a cricket wasp invasion? Yes. Did it clear up within four weeks of treating my attic? Also yes. They're not the cheapest option but not the most expensive either and they only do inside treatments when they're necessary, since their outdoor treatment is usually enough to keep the house protected. The wasp problem is honestly the first big issue I've had since switching to them many years ago - which considering I had an on again/off again ant problem before the switch and 0 ant problems in the... I dunno, eight years I've used this company... that's a pretty good track record TBH.

I'm not gonna say I didn't consider switching if the wasp problem didn't clear up or that I wasn't frustrated with their policies regarding going up into attics. But if I make the decision to switch companies, I'm not going to switch to a company that's sent someone to be pushy at my doorstep.

So this guy has already lost from the get go, but he did not help things by assuming I didn't already have a pest company. I get it, there's a month's worth of spider webbing build up on the eaves (the devil works hard but the spiders in my neighborhood work harder). And he claimed there were no traps out despite the two super obvious traps in the front flowerbeds if he'd bothered to look to his left or right like... at all. Dude was being very condescending for someone lacking observational skills.

At this point, he tries to get me to tell him how much I pay for my pest company having ignored what was already a polite invitation to go away now please (not in those exact words) so I was realizing subtle was. Not working.

Thus I told him no. He didn't need to know that, I didn't care if it wasn't 'privileged' information, it wasn't any of his business. I was busy and needed to go now.

His attempt to joke me into telling him something I'd already said no to having failed, he goes 'oh yeah, I've got a lot of other people to visit, but...' and I just cut him right off at the knees right there. Metaphorically, of course, no actual knees were maimed.

"Well, then I'll let you get to it. Have a good evening."

At that point he acknowledged he'd lost, mostly because I was already closing the door. He hopped on his Segway (or whatever that was) and left.

Anyway, the last time I had a door to door person come by, she accepted my first subtle not interested with grace and then asked if I minded giving advice on how to become a home owner because I was young, with my own home, and she and her husband were wanting out of their apartment into a house. That was a much nicer interaction and I'm glad that I gave off 'safe person to ask advice' from because that's just not stuff they teach in school anymore. (And she meant it too, as there was no further mention of what she was selling.)

But I really wish I had remembered to check my camera this time before opening the door because I could have avoided today's door to door guy interaction entirely instead of being greeted by disappointment over no bookcase and irritation over a pushy salesman trying (and failing) to bulldoze me.

[pastrnaks-sainz]

mainlypastrnaksbae AO3 Masterlist

So this is definitely not because I'm procrastinating. ANYWAY, here are all my AO3 fics organized by pairing for your convenience.

Patrice Bergeron/Brad Marchand

Honey, I Adopted a College Student ~ Newly married and just having moved into a house of their own (a feat years, if not a decade in the making), Patrice and Brad were just starting to settle into their new town. They both fell in love with Amherst, Massachusetts. It wasn’t close to Boston by any means, but neither of them needed to be - or wanted to be - close to the city. And Amherst wasn’t Boston, but it was still busy. It was the biggest town in the county and it was home to not one but two colleges. Amherst College with its student body of just around 1,800 and University of Massachusetts Amherst with its overall population of just under 24,000 students. There was plenty to do in Amherst, Massachusetts and Patrice and Brad loved it.

Adventures in Captaincy ~ There was not a word in the English (or French; Brad knows, he looked) dictionary to describe just how much Brad Marchand was in love. No combination of two words, not even a made up word would cover it. Brad had tried, Pasta had tried, even fucking Z had tried and he hadn’t been witness to Brad’s shenangins in over two years. Nothing. Their three brains could not come up with a single word. Things were starting to feel hopeless.

Are They...? ~ “Krej,” Monty said as he walked into the equipment room.

“Hey, coach,” Krej smiled. He turned away from the stacks of tape he was looking through to give Monty his full attention. “What’s up?”

“This is gonna sound weird,” Monty sighed. “But Bergy and Marchy. Are they…?”

or

Monty finds out his two best players are married

Anger Management ~ “I am too,” Patrice cupped the side of Brad’s face with his hand and traced his jawline. “Do you need to take your anger out?”

Brad sighed and looked back down. There were only a handful of nights he could recall that Patrice had asked him that question.

4 Times Marchy Slept on Bergy's Couch + 1 Time he Slept in His Bed ~ “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nice to see you too, Pat,” Marchy retorted, gently pushing past him into the apartment. “Do you mind if I use your air conditioner?”

“You know you’re always welcome over here,” Bergy said as he closed and locked the door. “But just one question, did you seriously walk over here in the rain?”

Young, Dumb, and Drunk ~ “I’ll go get refills.”

“Shit."

or

Bergy and Marchy share a drunk bro kiss on the road in Philly

A Series of Stupid Decisions ~ Brad Marchand was famous for making stupid decisions. Licking Ryan Callahan had to be at the top of the list. He never had the best self control in the world and when he got too caught up in the heat of the moment things could go extremely downhill just as fast. He was a pest, sure, and he was really good at it, but he had a real problem with self sabotage. And it always had a habit of rearing its ugly head at the worst times.

Patrice Bergeron Presents: How to Remove a Pest ~ “Yeah that’s right,” one of the Wings players chirped.

“Ignore him,” Bergy said, leaning into Marchy’s ear.

“Gotta get your boyfriend to get you outta trouble.”

Fuck.

My Best Bro ~ His affection for Bergy didn’t end once they left the ice, though. It followed them once they left and went back to the locker room. Hell, it even followed him out of the rinks and back to their apartments. Brad was, unequivocally, the fiercest defender Patrice had. And Bergy knew that, he really appreciated it too. He just wished Brad wouldn’t be so… easily provoked.

Let Me be Your Fire ~ “Patrice, you and Brad Marchand obviously have one of the best relationships in the NHL,” the reporter (Patrice had forgotten his name the second he said it) said, starting another question. “What is it, specifically, that you love about him?”

Patrice huffed a breathless laugh before answering, “You know he’s… he’s a really great hockey player. He teaches me something every time we play together.”

Brad stood still at the door. He couldn’t fight the empty feeling starting to sink into his chest.

Seeing Red ~ I mean really, the National Hockey should have known by now that touching Patrice Bergeron in front of Brad Marchand was going to end up with gloves and sticks and maybe teeth flying. Even if whatever hit or jab was clean, Marchy would still be going into rabid animal mode. It was just science at this point.

Something in the Orange Tells me We're Not Done ~ It was no secret that Brad was a menace to play against. It was also no secret that, publicly, Marchy took pride in being a pest. Bergy’s was the only opinion he really valued. At least, that’s what he had always thought before that dull ache settled into his chest. The empty one that spread to his fingers and toes and made him want to curl up in a hole and die.

Charlie McAvoy/Matt Grzelcyk

Minors and Majors ~ The Grzelcyk family reunion was running late. It always ran late. Matt was just happy that his parents were hosting this year. The already small backyard of their Charlestown triple decker was packed with family members. Matt had claimed a spot right by the back door, making his escape into the house and subsequently up the stairs behind the locked door of his childhood bedroom that much easier.

His ringtone going off was just the saving grace. He made a big show of pulling his phone out of his pocket and pretending the ringtone going off was a call from Bruce instead of a text from Charlie.

Sergeant McAvoy ~ Base security drove Matt crazy. The last thing he wanted to do after a rough loss was pull out every form of identification known to man. And if there was a new person at the gate that didn’t recognize him he needed to go through the whole rigamarole about who he was and explain that, yes, Marines can in fact have husbands.

Baby it's Cold Outside ~ It was a full force blizzard at this point. Matt leaned into the wind and kept walking, fighting against the burning in his lungs. He wheezed and leaned against a building for support. What was he doing out here? He didn’t know how to get back home on foot, hell he didn’t even know where in Brooklyn he was. He looked around, trying to get his bearings. It was totally useless. The snow was so heavy and thick he wouldn’t be able to see anything no matter how close to him it was.

Charlie McAvoy's Ryan Reynolds Obsession ~ Ryan’s new movie started filming in Boston right down the street from the Garden. Charlie had passed the film set on his way into one of the games and almost drove into oncoming traffic. He’d thundered into the locker room and announced loudly to everyone that the love of his life was right down the street.

Give In ~ “I’m Matt,” the man said, extending a hand. “I’m gonna be working with you on your physical therapy.”

“Charlie,” Charlie introduced himself. “Are you new? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

Stars Collide ~ Matt felt safe in Charlie’s embrace, like he always did. Especially when he threw a leg over Charlie’s thighs, holding him even closer. It took a while for Charlie to clear his throat and shift awkwardly, pulling his hips away from Matt’s.

“What, do I smell or something?” Matt quipped before he could run through all the possibilities for why Charlie would pull away.

“It’s, uh, it’s not that."

Sic Semper Tyrannis ~ Say what you will about Americans, but they loved a sex scandal. No matter what century it was. There were countless polling numbers that could back that statement up, not to mention all the examples from recent history. As long as there had been politics in America there had been sex scandals. So when Matt Grzelcyk was elected forty seventh President of the United States he was determined to keep his administration as clean as he possibly could. He just didn’t plan on the young reporter from CNN.

Hampus Lindholm/David Pastrnak

Christmas at the Krejci's ~ A lot of people had seasonal depression but David’s was different. He spent a lot of time thinking about his dad this time of year. And when he broke into the league Krejci had taken him under his wing and really acted as a father figure. Now that Krej was back in Boston and playing on a line with Pasta the two of them were visibly happier.

Twitch ~ He made himself comfortable, folding his legs beneath him as he watched. He genuinely had no idea what was going on so he kept his eyes on David. He’d been in loungewear all day, only putting on a beanie, a tank top (one that showed off his full sleeve and drove Hampus absolutely insane), and a pair of gray sweatpants. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world but to Hampus he was absolutely perfect.

Four Points Means Four Orgasms ~ It was a six hour flight from Anaheim to Boston and they had three more hours to go. Hampus could not keep his eyes off David. After the win most of the guys were too amped up to sleep. The sight of Marchy dancing around with Wagner’s tie tied around his head was an entertaining one to say the least, but the only thing Hampus had eyes for was the blond boy with the ear to ear smile on his face sitting diagonally from him. Hampus could feel the excitement and just pure happiness radiating off of him. He couldn’t wait to get them back to their Boston apartment. He had been formulating a plan and ignoring whatever Pavel Zacha was saying for the past twenty minutes.

David Pastrnak and the Intimidating Makeup Bag ~ “Do you want to watch me?” she asked. David nodded excitedly. She smiled and patted the seat beside her. David sat down and rested his hands in his lap as he watched. He was fascinated at how she used the products in front of her. He had never watched someone do their makeup before and he was absolutely fascinated.

Promise (I Never Forgot You) ~ The Swedes and the Czechs both had what they lovingly referred to as secret weapons up their sleeves. Sweden had this defenseman who was absolutely lights out. Despite the fact that he was seventeen he was able to throw his body around on the ice like someone much older than him. And Czechia had this forward, an absolute star. He was sixteen but, shit, he could play.

vous aves du feu ~ “Sorry,” he mumbled, glancing down to the dirtied ashtray. “Just… couldn’t help myself I guess. I won’t do it again.”

“It’s alright,” Hampus said, rubbing David’s shoulder, his fingers dipping beneath his unbuttoned shirt. David couldn’t help but feel he had something else to say though. “Just…”

“Just what?” David’s voice shook as he asked the question. His mind was starting to race the way it always did whenever Hampus had something planned.

“Remember what I said the last time you smoked?”

Man After Midnight ~ “I have a favor I need to ask of you,” Hampus said softly as he played with David’s fingers, their hands joined together on the white table cloth.

“Anything,” David said as he put his wine glass down, smiling at Hampus through the dim lighting of the restaurant.

“Will you cancel your plans for the next two days?”

You Can Touch, You Can Play ~ “What have you been thinking about? Specifically?”

“Well there’s that one lyric,” Hampus said, shifting his gaze from the tiled floor to David’s face.

“Which one?” David asked, swallowing thickly. He knew where this was going.

“I can act like a star,” Hampus began, cupping the side of David’s face. “I can beg on my knees.”

Come Back to Me Now, Darling ~ The thing is… David didn’t mean to fall in love. But he had six foot four of platinum haired Swedish defenseman in front of him so, like, what else was he supposed to do? Not fall in love? Un-fucking-likely.

Take Me to Church ~ Hampus loved watching him squirm. David would start shifting his weight a little bit but that wasn’t enough for his boyfriend. Hampus wanted him to react, to almost lose it and then bring him back in.

When Hampus discovered David’s thing for manspreading he was like a kid on Christmas morning who just opened the newest XBox or Playstation.

Medically Prescribed Cuddles ~ “Do you know what’s up with Pasta? He loves mini golf, did he say anything to you?”

“He probably has a migraine,” Krej shrugged nonchalantly. Hampus blinked at him. “He gets them a lot. I was going to go over to his place after this and check on him.”

“Oh,” Hampus nodded, staring at a spot over Krej’s shoulder as he thought. “Do you mind if I come with you?”

“You know what,” Krej said, a sly smile on his face that was almost imperceptible. “Why don’t you go instead of me.”

Miles and Miles Left to go ~ Adrenaline was still pumping through his veins long after the final buzzer sounded. He was wired on the plane ride home, collecting pats on the back and congratulations from the guys the entire time. He was still turning the puck over in his hands, almost not believing he’d finally reached the fifty goal benchmark.

Upon opening his phone after taking care of the usual post game business he found at least two hundred text messages and voicemails and Instagram notifications. There were only a few he had eyes for, though. The ones from Bergy and Marchy congratulating him and promising him a nice dinner the following night. And the one from Hampus. It was a simple message but he knew exactly what it meant.

Bloody Knuckles ~ “He hit you,” Hampus mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “I had to.”

“Hampus, I get hit all the time,” David sighed. “What was so different about this time?”

“I don’t wanna repeat it,” Hampus said, looking down at his feet. David cupped his jaw and tilted his head up to look at him. “He called you a…”

Memories in Ink ~ Pasta had this tattoo. A full sleeve on his right arm. One of Lindy’s favorite things to do when they were relaxing at the end of a long day was trace the lines of ink decorating his skin.

“I kinda wanna get a tattoo,” he said, shifting his head so his chin was resting on his chest.

“Really?” David asked, his face lighting up with a smile. Lindy nodded, a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Yeah,” he said. “I love yours and I want one of my own.”

David Krejci/Adam McQuaid

Nap Corners ~ As one of the premier heavyweight fighters in the league not many people expected to find Adam McQuaid cozied up to locker room quiet guy David Krejci. And yet that’s exactly what was found in one of the TD Garden’s many nap corners. Those nap corners had been set up a long time ago and you could only find them if you knew what you were looking for and where you were looking for it.

The Glory Days ~ The initial reason he had come up to the box was to escape the pre-game chaos. Everyone was excited about celebrating his thousandth game and a few (Pasta, namely) were determined to get him to crack a smile. After Nick had joked about gifting him a pulse in the Christmas video Sophia did, it had been a running gag in the locker room. David was half convinced there were bets going around about whether or not he was going to show emotion in the ceremony before puck drop. All told, it was loud in the locker room and David needed to get away.

Sunday Morning Plans ~ “Hey,” Adam said after depositing his gear in its designated spot in the garage. “The team is doing a family skate tomorrow morning, do you want to go with me? You don’t have to, I know you don’t like being cold but-”

“Adam,” David said gently, stopping his rambling before it started. “I would love to go with you. I can’t promise I’ll be very fun, but as long as I’m with you I don’t care.”

Jeremy Swayman/Linus Ullmark

Room 339, Vancouver ~ “You fucking did it, you son of a bitch!” he laughed, letting himself spin around before going in for their normal goalie hug. Linus picked up his hat and pressed it into his chest. “Holy shit, I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Tell me about it in the locker room."

Save it For a Rainy Day ~ “Let’s go dance in the rain,” Jeremy smiled widely, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom. Linus closed his eyes, put his phone down, and hesitated before looking at his love.

“What?” he asked, blinking twice and fixing his gaze to Jeremy.

“Come on!” Jeremy exclaimed. He took three wide steps over to the bed and grabbed Linus’s hand, trying to pull him to his feet. “I’ve always wanted to dance in the rain.”

can't complain about much these days (i believe we'll be okay) ~ Somewhere along the line their cuddles became celebratory in addition to calming or grounding. It made sense, really, their go to on ice celebration was the big over dramatic hug that everyone, not just Bruins fans, had grown to love. So why wouldn’t that physical affection carry over into their office celebration?

Hopelessly Devoted ~ Jeremy felt like he was floating in space with nothing tying him down. Aimlessly drifting the cosmos until someone or something found him. He had felt that way for a while. Sure he had friends and family but he was craving something… more. A deeper connection. He wanted to feel anchored no matter where he was.

Linus was not what Jeremy expected to see when he opened his eyes.

i'm starving, darling (let me put my lips to something) ~ “Sit,” he said, pointing to one of the fluffy arm chairs. Jeremy suppressed a whine. Ully had to know what he was doing. There was no way he didn’t. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking about.”

“It’s really nothing,” Jeremy said, shaking his head and staring at Linus’s feet. “I’m just in my own head about some things. It’s not a big deal, I just need to think everything through.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Ully asked, ducking his head as he tried to catch Sway’s eye. “Come on, Jer. Open up to me.”

Okay. He had to know.

or

Sway has suppressed his need to be submissive for so long and he can't deal with it anymore

Brandon Carlo/Trent Frederic

4 Times Brandon Asked for a Hug + 1 Time Trent Asked for One ~ Hug

verb (used with object), hugged, hug·ging. 1.) to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace. 2.) to cling firmly or fondly to; cherish

Mine to Mark ~ “What?” Brandon asked, wheeling around. He jumped up from the couch and walked over to Trent. He opened his mouth to say something about Jeremy almost getting in a fight before he caught sight of the red mark blooming on Trent’s neck. He poked it and said, “What the fuck is that?”

or

Trent goes out and gets a hickey and Brandon gets possessive

Unadulterated ~ The buzzer sounded, the fans roared, and Dirty Water started to play. He had essentially Pavloved himself with that song, ever since Lake Tahoe. Bergy had quietly slipped him a pair of headphones on the plane ride back and he’d listened to it until he knew it word for word. And since the beginning of the season he and Brandon would always share a less than PG-13 moment in the showers after the game. He associated the music with good times, good company, and even better feelings.

'Till the Walls Come Caving in (You'll be Mine) ~ “Is something going on between you and Trent?” Nick asked point blank. Brandon cringed internally and sat down hard in his stall. Nick perched next to him and waited patiently. “Bambi, you can tell me if something's going on.”

“I know,” Brandon sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “We’ve, uh, been doing some stuff together.”

long live the reckless and the brave ~ Trent’s shoulders sagged with the weight of his day. He trudged down the hallway, dragging his feet a little bit as he went. Exhaustion was pulling him downward, tempting him to just curl up right there and take a nap like a feral cat on a stoop. But he could see the front door from where he was. Just a couple more feet.

Miscellaneous

I Can't do This Without You (Debrusk/McAvoy) ~ “JD,” he said steadily. Jake kept pushing his food around his plate. “Jake. Look at me.”

Jake listened, looking over at him. His blue eyes weren’t shining like they usually were. A frown pulled at the corners of Charlie’s mouth. He reached over and patted his shoulder before standing up, turning on his heel, and walking out of the player lounge.

missing piece of me (Pastrnak & Krejci) ~ “I’ll… I’ll talk to you later, Pasta,” Krej said, standing up. Pasta nodded, a blank look on his face as he kept his eyes trained to the table in front of him. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a silent tear slip from his eyes and trail down his cheek as Krej leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

The feeling of emptiness settled into his chest as he heard the bell on the door jingle as it opened and closed. Krej was gone.

Trade Season Sucks (Forbort/Clifton) ~ Washington Capitals trading Garnet Hathaway and Dimitry Orlov to the Boston Bruins for Craig Smith, Connor Clifton, Jakub Zboril, and draft picks. More details to come.

or

Derek Forbort can't lose his defensive partner

I Won't Tell if You Won't (Lindholm/Lysell) ~ He leaned against the back wall and just observed. This was his first development camp with the Bruins so he was taking his opportunity to see just what he was going to be getting into. His eyes landed on a table in the corner. He recognized John Beecher instantly, but the blond boy sitting across from him got his attention. He tilted his head as he studied the way they interacted. Beech would say something that made the blond boy laugh, the blond boy would respond in kind.

Montreal Makes People Make Bad Decisions (Bergeron/Krejci) ~ Patrice had downed a few shots and some fruity drink handed to him by Looch. But the problem was Patrice was a bit of a lightweight. He could hold his own against the boys but after he had a few shots in his system he became rather unpredictable. And going down on one of the quieter, newer members of the locker room was unpredictable for sure. However he wouldn’t mind if it became predictable.

Czech Mates (Pastrnak/Zacha/Krejci) ~ Right before he left the Devils Miles Wood had caught his elbow and told him to keep an eye out. It wasn’t uncommon for players to… welcome their new teammates or linemates in a less than conventional way. Zacha had brushed him off, saying that there was no way that was a real thing. Wood had just raised an eyebrow and reiterated his warning.

It was around right now that he was wishing he’d listened.

Kinktober

2022

[corellonsblessing]

A BLACK OUT/SLAM POEM based on the teletubbies (tv) tag on ao3

TRIGGER WARNING_MILK.

stray dogs literature clubs, the school for good and evil. ink sans angel—stranger things

horror sans guy—don’t hug me i’m scared. don’t hug me i’m scared, (don’t hug me i’m scared.)

free form plot twists. tragedy/comedy. alternate universe—high school. alternate universe—music.

the chaos unfolds each day, pristine, centuries ago, fight the many.

post divorce, living together, implied drug use, alcoholism. snippets from the end of the show, renunion, although it takes place a couple years before. we were the stars (but space was a void) by ponfarrpussyqueen.

corporate clash, bug, duck, the guardian pest, the prince, macarena, kissing, crack, as a joke, boys kissing, regret everything

underage julius caesar, emo napoleon, mating bond, tentacle dick, magic healing cock, holy water, holy roman empire, kissing in the rain, the battle of waterloo, a true story.

crossover, insanehappymealgiver, original character, original, simulator, mentioned, i’m at my limit, intentionally bad, wearing the other character’s skin, start praying because this sure ain’t holy, my dad went to get the milk because of this, sent to the void, put me in a coffin, rancid hope’s peak

we greet you with good luck and prosperity.

we love gay anal and lesbian smut and we hope you do too.

diminishing flame, not for kids, you’ll cry so hard you won’t have eyes, not sorry, commit a clarity, vaporized, freeform, sewer rat

2020 presidential election, spit as lube.

chaos bear, crack, crack, crack, has religious trauma, gay, gay, lesbian, lesbian sex, orgy, moist naked bodies rainbow is jesus, sex during tornado, this is NOT. finished.

there she was, in a new world. guess she’ll play the cards she’s dealt.

jesus confessed, sin shock, tears streaming down her face. “i fucked your sister.” crack. treated seriously, why did i write this. gay best friend—i can see that (i’m safe here.)

why did i write this!

crack. treated seriously.

slowly losing our sanity, we die.

crack, treated seriously. the moon of hope and the sun of despair LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOO.

crack, treated seriously, blue balls, orphan account

his little purse. what was once an inside joke is now taken seriously. crack. crack. fluff and crack. angst and crack. i am a man of my word, and i speak for the people.

a million other projects to complete

crack, crack, i dont know what’s going on, we’re idiots so we made this

it starts out all nice then it all goes downhill

satan, crack, this is a joke, please help me, please don’t hate me, i’m so sorry, i cannot think of anything else, please don’t read this. but. do, the author regrets nothing, the author regrets everything, why do i still exist? (discontinued, at least until further notice.) by even moderner prometheus

forbidden love, dead dove:do not eat.

so small in the midst of it all. rolling with the weird and unusual, traumatized teens to comfort, and an important decision to make

i came up with this, i will go down with this

i can’t believe i write this, why did i write this, i wrote this while listening to mother mother, sleep deprived, wrote this instead of sleeping, the guardian witnessed sex and is now scarred, touching, addiction, slut shaming

insufferable with apologies to all my followers, hell (literal), sewage

i got problems, so fucking random, pulled out of my ass, hard to explain, hard to word, each chapter will be posted, find me on wattpad,

near death experiences, major illness, declarations of love, love confessions, eating, marking, delay/denial, knotting, marking, mating bites, overstimulation, based on taylor swift songs, missing spleen

help me pleease, im scared, why did i write this?, just this really chill person who wants to take over the world, humanized teletubbies, my friend and i wrote this over the summer

you better not forgive me for this, im serious, vaginal fingering, a hushed voice, the contact making her shiver.

may your heart stay strong. torture, vomiting, blood and gore, self-indulgent, touch starved guardian, all characters are adults, electricity, suicidal thoughts, medical inaccuracies,

and yet… you lie again. i like noo-noo i hope he explodes, don’t show up

crack. i am so sorry. not in detail but it could’ve been so count your blessings

gods this can’t end well, good parent, to two children, bad parent, to the other one

IM SO SRRY BUT THIS WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, HAHA SUFFER,

attempt at humor, death, gore, i don’t even know, i’m so sorry, you have been warned, i posted this for my brother’s birthday

plague, companionship, through the fields we ran

it quickly turns into anti-demon propaganda

a play in one act, post-war, no sex, no killing

the prize of reading this is to meet god

help my poor soul this is a disgrace but it was my first fic so i refuse to orphan it, and the teletubbies followed

help, i was forced to write this and i’m sorry, i don’t even know what to call this monster, the southern pansy, aziphrale, the prince of hell, and the archangel gabriel

angst, satire, this is not serious, it’s meant to be funny

DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THREE HIGH THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.

this is what you’ve been waiting for and hoping would never come

hearing voices, broken bones, emotional manipulation,

live, work, play, a simple life, protected, until a stranger comes.

i can’t give you a summary of the plot. that would ruin the story.

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part one)

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part seventeen.)

let me know if i forgot to tag anything!!

blame the painkillers. i blame the painkillers.

[serenemy]

Creative Writing Prompt: dude you had shitty casual sex with over a year ago won’t stop sea lioning you on the internet about whether you think he is a racist

The reason I don’t have an opinion about whether you are racist is I simply don’t care to spare my attention on the matter. I know you are a sexist, a misogynist and a sex pest. Those are the things I cared about and those are the things I tried repeatedly to discuss with you in private

But since you have pestered me about this repeatedly I have now remembered the following examples:

You once told me you had mind blowing salacious “gossip” and it was apparently just that a white man in our group chat has a black wife? You also sent a half-dressed picture of her iirc. I remembered that on 10/23 after you had pestered me about this again either that day or the prior day for like the third or fourth time since the topic first arose on 8/4. 8/4! that is how long you’ve been bothering me with this asinine shit!

You once told me you “don’t like Jewish people” “because [you] grew up around a lot of them.” I remembered this last night after you again pestered me about it despite me having made clear multiple times and in multiple ways starting 9/1* that I want you to leave me the fuck alone. you have been harassing me for four months now

If you are wondering how I could have forgotten these things, that is simply how little space you have ever occupied in my mind

You know the agreement was we could say anything to each other in DMs and we both knew it wasn’t “real” unless we changed the arrangement ahead of time and both agreed. and neither of us ever did. neither of us ever asked to. when the girlfriend you claim i’m jealous about BROKE UP WITH YOU BECAUSE SHE IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE and you were despondent and talking again about the hopelessness of existence because the world hasn’t yet perceived what a big special boy your unmedicated brilliance makes you—i said if you wanted me to i would consider a real relationship, that i couldn’t be sure what my answer would be, but i would give it real consideration. i meant what i said but i was also trying to get you through to seeing a doctor, which you had been promising me you would

You know specifically that I wanted the arrangement we had because I have a problem leading people on and ghosting them. You know I explicitly addressed wanting to be able to say romantic, loving things to you but only if I knew for sure you DIDN’T really reciprocate. We put this shit in writing, we revisited it frequently, every line of that text still exists and you fucking know it

In any event my unreliability on these matters is why I —twice—used the line on you about the scorpion and the frog: “I am the scorpion and you are the frog and the story only ends one way, 100 times out of 100.” Here is the part where you find out

Before I begin though, let’s be clear. I tried repeatedly to let you drop this. I asked repeatedly for you to leave me alone. I had THREE people warn you I would do this if you continued to bother me. Beyond them I told our closest mutual at least twice I didn’t want anymore to do with you. I told our second closest mutual months ago you had made me uncomfortable, I didn’t want to encourage your participation in our groups and i was concerned about your mental health. I specifically stayed in the one chat you left and when i didn’t follow you over to the new ones YOU CAME BACK

so let’s do it

First, you’re not good in bed. That was the first lie you told and it was explicitly the only reason I agreed to flirt in the first place. I have never experienced sex so shitty in my entire existence. To be clear, I’m not accusing you of thinking you’re good in bed and being wrong. I’m accusing you of lying.** I don’t think that because the sex was shitty. I think it because of the stories you later told me about other women

Second, you have at least three physical variances that add up to a pretty serious sexuality complication you withheld from me and didn’t acknowledge you even knew about until like part way through the vacation. That whole time I was thinking you maybe seriously didn’t even know and that was part of why it all became so complicated for me to handle in the moment. It’s super unethical not to divulge that stuff ahead of time to your lovers

In contrast, I told you ahead of time my pictures were catfishy, described my actual size and shape, explained I hadn’t had sex since before having a baby more than fifteen years ago, detailed years of serious health problems and admitted I wasn’t sure what all might go wrong when I tried sex again

In fact having sex with you the first time is how I learned I now apparently leak pee during sex. (Or I did then anyway; I’m supposed to be doing the exercises.) I didn’t want to have to explain to you right there in the moment in the hotel room and thought I would wait until after we were back in DMs and it could be funny

Which brings me to the third problem. That experience—combined with your failure to explain your situation to me—is why I tried repeatedly to shut down the sex for the entire rest of the time you were there. The agreement in advance had been no expectations of sex unless we both still felt like it and if not we would have fun together as friends.

That was another lie though because you continued being a sex pest and a sex boundary pusher until it was honestly easier to just try to get you off so we could go back to watching movies

Fourth, what you are doing online now is also weird, creepy and stalker-ish. I don't want to interact with you. I've made that clear. I’ve been making it clear for four months now. I've made it clear directly to you and I've made it clear through intermediaries. I have consistently resisted and tried to ignore all of your attempts to get me to interact. Yet still you will not stop

That is exactly how you were about sex

Fifth, it's transparently obvious you invented the stupid racism thing to derail me from being able to talk about these other things without seeming like a confused hyper-woke shrew. For the record, I almost never think someone is “a racist.” Usually what I think is that they are (often without awareness) perpetuating systemic racism they don’t even know is there. And when I think someone is doing that—or in the limited cases i have concluded they are “a racist”—usually because they identify that way—I just say so, directly

Like when I don’t want to have sex anymore

To be clear, I don’t think anything you did was a crime. I went along because at the time I felt bad for you—and was myself touch-starved—not because I felt threatened, scared or unequipped to enforce boundaries. I just think you’re an unethical, disgusting person and I don’t care about you and don’t find questions about your character interesting or worth mental bandwidth

Anyway, you wanted to know if I think you’re racist. These are the only thoughts I will ever have on the subject

————————-

p.s. you are literally (literally literally) the disappointing male mundane in this story i wrote in MAY whose spells fucking failed for possessing not one drop of magic of your own

p.p.s. since you’ve now told a bunch of sleazy lies about me: ladies, his name is Zachary St. Clair, he lives in indiana and i knew him online as fusstifer, semper fi t. rex, and eventually @DaBigRedGobbo on Twitter / X

*yes i sent two non-interactive messages after that date. they were both in their own way related to concerns i had about your mental health. i felt ethically bound to send them for reasons i’ll divulge publicly if that’s what you want. i simultaneously made clear through our closest mutual that i did not want to resume any relationship with you. i told our second closest mutual you had made me uncomfortable, i therefore wouldn’t encourage your participation in our circles, but that i was worried about your mental health. and, again, they were non-interactive, non-public, non-adversarial, and drafted with your mental health in mind. thereafter you resumed the bullshit. at that point i had mutuals/moderators intervene and tell you to desist contact and interaction of any form. and when they did i showed them the language i had used on 9/1 and said “that’s what i want” but i added more to broaden it. i also mentioned at that time one of these messages, the one that doesn’t reveal any personal information about you but consisted of me apologizing that i hadn’t understood sooner that by “calling out” you meant you didn’t like being disagreed with at all in front of others. except you fucking asked me to engage substantively with your “i’m so edgy i’m an authoritarian socialist” bullshit and complained bitterly and repeatedly that no one else did. and like i literally don’t even think it’s true anymore that you dislike public disagreements because you’ve feasted on calling me out and disagreeing with me. so now i’m back to being confused and thinking it’s part of your entire bizarre shtick

** i used to be 50-50% on this. but i’ve been ruminating and i keep remembering more stories you told me about other women. you at least have no good faith basis to believe this. no woman has ever told you this, for sure. you don’t give them an opportunity for feedback and maybe that’s another reason to suspect you do know. anyway this isn’t a court of law but i’m more like 85%-15% now

[littlepissboyman]

Spiders are something I don’t really care about unless they’re in inconvenient locations. I like them, I suppose. They keep out pests like flies, roaches, and all sorts of critters that I don’t like. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a mouse caught in one of their webs.

That was the first strange incident. You could have called it luck, or some strange version of divine intervention, but those spiders just kept on going with it. It started out as small things, relatively. Their webs started to change shape, and they themselves got bigger every time I saw them. Eventually, they were the size of the mice they ate.

I found that out when I went up into the attic to fetch some tools for a project I was going to start, only to be confronted with thousands of them staring at me. I ignored them. It’s hard to know how to react to a new situation, so I simply didn’t. I climbed up inside, grabbed my impact drill, and skedaddled.

That night, I couldn’t decide if I was hallucinating or i had actually seen what I saw, so I went back up with a peace offering. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a deer leg that I hadn’t bothered processing yet. The spiders went absolutely nuts. It was like a mosh pit up there, and I slowly crept away from the scene.

A month later, I did it again. Doesn’t hurt to keep relations good, right? The spiders weren’t as ferocious this time, seeming almost civilized in the way they ate. I continued giving the spiders a good amount of meat each month, and before I knew it, a year had passed.

I had started to record my findings in a notebook that I hid under my mattress. For science, you know? The only difference between fucking around and conducting an experiment is writing it down.

The spiders got as big as my hand laid out flat. They didn’t make normal webs any longer, after I had put an architecture book in the attic. They made arches, bridges, entire buildings out of web and items in the attic. It was scary. Last trip up, they had begun clearing a space in the middle of the attic. They were working together to do so.

I didn’t know if I should have done something at that point. I was watching evolution unfold at my fingertips, and I wanted to see how it ended. Discovery channel would have loved it, and pest control would be utterly terrified. Or maybe the other way around? At this point, those spiders have to be a new species.

I don’t own my house though, I rent. It won’t be my problem when I move, unless I take them with me on purpose. Maybe I will? Despite their massive size, they’re kinda cute.

I sigh and lean back in my chair, turning on the TV and putting on a random documentary. It was about spiders. I guess knowing a bit more about my little neighbors wouldn’t hurt, would it?

You realize you should’ve done something about the spiders in your attic before they multiplied, gained intelligence and started a civilization. Recently they started worshipping you as their deity.

[gutterempirevancover]

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