#the golden/cursed dynamic keeps me up at night

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

clinically obsessed with ships that contain a praised, loved person and someone abandoned by the narrative, forgotten, detested.

[monsterloverxxx]

Minotaur x fem!reader

Plus sized Minotaur

MDNI

POV you have been sent into the minotaur’s labyrinth as a sacrifice, but your offering isn’t one of blood.

Monster-fucking/teratophilia, breeding kink/pregnancy kink, size kink/macrophilia.

Groping, fingering, repeated PiV sex, pushing cum back in, some dom/sub dynamic.

Horror, gore

Dub-con (some non-con groping and grinding, wanted sex and consent but you’ve been put in that situation)

2080 words

----------------------------------

Offering to the Minotaur:

Nobody knows how long the beast has cursed them, some say he has been there since the beginning of civilisation, others the dawn of time; either way he has always hunted these lands.

Mostly he hibernates; but every time the fire-star lights up the inky sky he awakens for 12 moons. An insatiable hunger to consume controls him, a bloodlust only slaughter can satisfy.

To contain his devastation the leaders of these lands long ago decided to gift him sacrifices, offerings to an old brutal god. Innocent souls sent to death to appeal to the mercy of the monster; a barter for their people to be spared.

_

You look up at the crimson glow in the night, an omen for the blood that would soon spill from your veins. Praying to your deities will do no good, you will soon join them in the heavens and drink moonbeams from golden chalices.

It is dark and cold inside the labyrinth; you can feel the chill in your bones; or perhaps what you feel is fear, terror that curdles your insides.

Tall walls once white marble are now green with slime, moss and mushrooms growing on water that has degraded stone for thousands of years.

It is a maze, and you are already lost. You feel trapped, claustrophobic yet overwhelmed by the infinite expanse. Each step cannot be distinguished from the last, you are roaming in endless circles.

Your legs ache from running, the breath inside your chest burns, your heart pounding. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. You turn every corner aimlessly, hoping it will not be your last.

You could hear the others, their echoed footsteps like ghosts, screams of terror and cracks of bones as they were butchered one by one. But now you hear only deafening silence, you know you're the last one standing, it’s your turn to die.

You slip and land on jagged rocks, broken off ruins. Smearing mud on the bottom of your white dress and scraping your tired knees. As you pull yourself up you see him looming over you. Eight foot tall, the head of a strawberry bull, torso of a burly fat man and solid cloven hooves.

You’re frozen in fear, your brain screaming for you to retreat but your body unable to follow. He grabs you and picks you up like a ragdoll, throwing you over his shoulder. The ground is so far below you if he dropped you, you would crack.

“Please don’t kill me” you beg over and over, tears flowing down your cheeks onto his hairy naked back.

“Your offering is flesh” he responded in a deep leather voice as he carries you to his lair

You try so much to wriggle your way out of his arms, even though you know the fall will maim you.

He grabs you around your ass to keep hold of you, his big hands up your dress gripping your underwear. You still try to escape his grasp; but how his hand rubs up against you when you move, you don’t want to admit how that feels.

You believe he’s going to feast upon you. Cook you in a stew with the others, suck sweet meat off your bones, drink your brains out of your severed skull. You pray he would kill you first.

He throws you down onto a pile of straw and furs: his nest. Your head rings from the impact, your bones jolting.

Before you can crawl away, he hops in beside you. He snuggles up next to you pulling you into him, enveloping your body completely with his, his fur and fat keeping you heated. Your face is nestled into his sweaty chest, he smells like rot, the scent of the slain is suffocating.

You wonder if he did this to the others? Gifted them comfort before pulling them limb from limb and devouring their bodies?

He falls asleep cuddling you, snoring loudly. You try to worm out multiple times to no avail. Eventually you give into his soft warmth and fall asleep. How can a creature so brutal feel so plush and tender?

Even though you have no sense of time your body wakes up naturally to the dawn. So had he, you glance around the room, he is nowhere to be seen. Part of you misses his embrace but this was your chance to delay your inevitable end.

You get up and flee his throne room, bolting as fast as your bruised legs can take you. But you do not get far before you need to stop and catch your breath.

As you lean against bloodstained bricks, you can hear him charging you, a great thunderous sound of hooves. He snatches you up, swooping you into the air and over his shoulder once more.

You know it is over now, this was the conclusion of your life, you give up. There’s no point fighting anymore, ‘just kill me quick’ you think, at least grant you that.

He places you back onto the nest gently this time “Stay” he orders

You will.

“Eat” he demands hurling you a bone; you didn’t want to know what it came from or who.

“I’m not hungry” you lie, you are famished but not desperate enough

“Eat” he repeats again “You’ll need the energy”

“For what? So you can hunt me like a hound?” you ask

“No” he responds.

He locks a metal collar around your neck attached to a short chain “Stay, I will return, then you eat, you need energy”

As soon as he leaves you pull at the metal, it is taut and chaffing, rust from many hundreds of years crumbles off in red chunks. You don’t try to get it off, you don’t have the strength.

You wait for him patiently. It is probably close to dusk when the beast returns dragging a deer carcass behind him. The stag's mighty antlers scraped along dirt.

He tears its body apart like it is a simple piece of bread, guts spilling everywhere. He cooks it over flame and feeds it to you. You are ravenous gorging yourself on its flesh like he had done to your fellow sacrifices.

When you are done, he climbs back into his furs again and wraps you up once more. But this time is different, he isn’t there to rest, he craves another thing.

You can feel something pressed up against you, you recognise it. You realise what your purpose is, what he wants from you: something warm and tight for him.

He grinds into the outline of your ass, his face is nowhere near you, but you could hear huffed breaths from his bull ringed nostrils. The way it drags into you sends shivers through your body.

“What is my offering?” you ask

“You are a priestess” he responded petting your messy hair “Your body a vessel for the gods. I am your god.”

“Vessel for what?”

“My pleasure and my offspring” he answered

Your flesh wasn’t to consume, it was to use and abuse, to play with like a toy.

He pushes his hand up your dress, it brushes slowly against your skin, up your body until he roughly grabs one of your breasts, fondling it callously, you can’t help but sigh at his touch.

The white dress that hugs your curves so well, you now see is a wedding gown. You had been gifted as his wife, a slave to him, for his arcane desires.

Your fate is not to dance in the clouds to songs of starlight harps, it is to be split open night after night by a monster's cock, to birth his demonic calves.

He shoves you onto your back and hangs over you, he is massive compared to you, a giant. He grabs the top of your dress and rips it in half, stripping you down, naked and exposed for him.

You are scared yes, but part of you tingles, the wet between your thighs could not lie. He is a beast, he was going to tear your body apart from the inside out, but you have not felt the touch of a man since you had committed to the temple, and oh gods was he a man.

He removes his loincloth; you can’t help but stare at his magnificence. You feel a feral hunger for that huge thick rod hung between muscular legs, hard as the stone around you, dripping with tears of yearning.

“I want to mate with you my little priestess” he strokes your face; his hand is the size of your head.

You don’t know if that is a question or a statement, either way you aren’t going to try and stop him. Maybe it would kill you, but maybe it is worth the risk just to feel him inside you.

“Yes” you responded

“Beg” he ordered “Beg for your god to take you, beg for him to fill you with his seed”

“Please” you plead, pathetic “Please breed me, I am your toy, I am your slave, please use me, please ruin me, I want it so bad, I need you so bad, please”

“Good girl” he grabs you by the hips and flips you over pushing your face into his animal skins. He spreads your legs open as wide as they could go revealing the sweetness between them. He runs a large finger through your folds, gathering slick as lubrication, forcing it inside. You gasp at the penetration followed by soft mewls as he pushes it in and out, going down to his knuckles, checking how much you can take. If this is how good his hand felt, you salivate at the idea of what would come next.

You are so hungry for it by the time he pushes the head to your entrance. He struggles to fit, but he is not gentle, ramming it inside of you with great force skewering your tight cunt. He did not take time to get you used to his size slamming straight into your cervix. White hot pain clouds your head but is soon replaced with carnal ecstasy as he pulls most of the way out and rhythmically thrusts into you.

You take him so well, your walls stretching around him. It’s like your cunt is designed for his cock, the god’s constructing your body specifically for your beast husband, perhaps he had created you for this use. You do not care; you are happy with this fate.

He continues to rail into you, holding your body firm so he doesn’t break your small frame. You are full of him but only half of his shaft is inside. He wishes he could fully stuff you, that he could bottom out inside and his balls could feel your heat as well. But he has stretched you fully out, you cannot physically take any more of him, but he can still try.

He fucks you for what feels like eternity, your body and mind in the heavens. Both of your loud moans are a symphony, a song of lust for only the spirits to hear. Your eyes roll back as your walls squeeze so hard around him, he can’t stop himself from filling you up. His seed drools down your thighs as he pulls out of your spent hole. He catches it with his fingers and pushes it back inside to save it.

His digits in your bruised entrance stings, but when you whine, he starts fingering you again. You rock into his hand, 2, 3, 5 fingers work you open. His own cum escapes down his arm onto the straw.

He trades his hand with his meat again swollen from your arousal, pounding it into you until he has replaced his wasted sperm.

He takes you over and over, again and again, so many times you lose count. Your body is jelly, your mind mush, your pussy is throbbing. He stops only when you pass out from exhaustion, and you fall asleep nuzzled in him.

And then when you wake, he starts again, he’ll keep going until he knows you are with child, carrying his young. And he will use you for his pleasure until he hibernates once more. Maybe he will gift you immortality so you can be his wife for eternity, or maybe he’ll dispose of you when he grows sick of your pussy and your womb, you do not know...

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I believe I spoke too soon!!! Last week, I said the episode "No Place Like Home" was one of the strongest episodes in a very long time. While I do agree with that sentiment, I think this past week's episode is even better! But hey! I'm getting ahead of myself! Let me start over. This reaction is for the season 8, fifth episode "Masks" which originally aired October 24, 2024. The episode was written by Taylor Wong and directed by Christine Khalafian. Spoilers ahead!

It's been a long time since I've been this enchanted by an episode which is funny to say considering how much I gushed over the last episode. This episode was just so ... perfect! It was the perfect mix of comedy and drama. The scenes involving Buck had me laughing until my face hurt while Hen and Karen's storyline left me sobbing on my sofa. Also, Aisha Hinds deserves all the awards. No one on this show can go there emotionally like she can. Her acting in this episode rivals her performance in the episode "Malfunction". Speaking of acting, let's talk about the best plot of the episode.

Best plot?

This is really a hard one. I thought both of our major plots this episode were pretty amazing for different reasons. However, for the sake of keeping things balanced, I'm going to give it to Buck's plot. Now that Gerrard is gone, our resident Golden Retriever is back to being fun again! Halloween is approaching and the 118 have been delegated the task of turning the firehouse into a haunted house. The budget at the LAFD must be really nice if they can afford to go all out the way they did. Buck's contribution to the decorations is a creepy AF dehydrated-looking prop dead body he got from a Hollywood warehouse. The night of the haunted house, he shows it off to a group of kids. When the 'fake' corpse's arm snaps off, Buck sees there are tendons still attached. Turns out, our fake dead body is not so fake. In the words of Evan Buckley, he's real, he's real, he's real, he's real.

After dislocating his shoulder responding to an emergency involving a man's head trapped inside of a rotting pumpkin, Buck does some digging (pun totally intended) on the dead body. He learns the remains belong to an outlaw named William James McCurdy. McCurdy's nickname was Billy Boils due to large pustules that covered his body. Buck thinks he's been cursed by Billy Boils and to make matters worse, the morning after he dislocates his shoulder, he wakes up with giant boils all over his face.

The episode ends with Buck facilitating a proper burial for McCurdy (aka Billy Boils) and acknowledging the betrayal he suffered by those in his posse. If anyone knows what it feels like to have the people you trust turn their back on you and leave you behind, it's Buck and to a certain degree it's also Tommy who is there by his side through the whole ordeal. Overall, I thought this story did a great job of reminding us that Buck has found his own posse, a group of loyal individuals who will have his back no matter what. I loved the moments between Tommy and Eddie. I really like their dynamic and I hope we get to see more of it. I also think this is one of Oliver Stark's most comedic performances. I hope we get more fun Buck moments throughout the rest of the season.

Best Emergency Sequence?

The emergency involving the two students, their principal, and Denny is the best emergency sequence of the episode. It started off so innocently. I'm not a fan of Halloween pranks but the principal completely overreacted. His decision to get in his car and chase after the two girls was completely unhinged and his actions led to the tragic moment of the episode. A part of me was like, they are NOT about to kill little Denny Wilson off and the other part of me was like, what if they do kill him off. That would really up the dramatic stakes for Hen and Karen - as if they haven't already been put through the ringer this season. Denny's acting was pretty great this episode and it makes me wonder why he isn't a part of the main cast. Declan Pratt has been in most of the episodes so far this season and Gavin McHugh, who plays Christopher, has technically only been in one episode although we do get to see him in a photograph in this episode. I'm not trying to get in between Gavin and his money. All I'm saying is that Declan is putting in a lot of work this season and should be considered for the main cast next season.

Anyway, I digress. Hen is absolutely devastated by the events and it doesn't help that she's already feeling pretty guilty for having to miss celebrating Halloween with Denny and Mara. The moment that really got me is when the 118 arrive on the scene and Chimney sees Mara and Jee-Yun. The way he put two and two together and tried to warn Hen before she saw Denny gave me goosebumps. Kudos to Hen for simultaneously losing it and keeping it together while tending to Denny. I especially felt for Karen because she isn't a first responder so all she could do was stand back and watch. This must be every parent's worst nightmare. Things can happen so quickly and whether you're there like Karen or not like Hen, bad stuff can still happen.  Thankfully Denny is alright. I loved how the 118 and Tommy were all at the hospital in support. They really are a family and I have a feeling that's going to be a theme we get all season long. After the whole ordeal with fostering Mara last season and the Olivia Ortiz of it all and now this, I think we need to give the Wilson family a break. They've been through enough. Just give me nothing but sweet family moments between Hen, Karen, Denny, and Mara for the rest of the season. You hear me, writers!?

Episode MVP?

In an episode where Buck and Hen were our main focus, I have to give the Episode MVP award to our hot pilot, our bestest boyfriend - Tommy Kinard. It felt so good to have him back this episode and I totally wasn't expecting to get so much of him. Tommy is at the hospital when Buck dislocates his shoulder, he's caring for Buck at the loft, he's with the rest of the 118 while Denny is in surgery, and he dons his best suit to accompany Buck to the cemetery at the end of the episode. The man is the definition of showing up and a part of me is curious as to how the Buddie shippers are going to spin this. Tommy is a good guy and his heart is pure and yet they still hate him. I know what they think shouldn't bother me but it's really frustrating how far they're willing to go to villainize not only Tommy but the actor that plays him. Shout-out to Lou Ferrigno, Jr.! You are aging like fine wine, you sexy beast!

BuckTommy Corner

Speaking of Tommy, this week's BuckTommy Corner totally makes up for the lack of BuckTommy moments we got in the last three episodes. Tim Minear and company knew we were starving and he fed us so well this episode. First thing I want to talk about is our newest, canonical ship. The relationship between Tommy and Eddie is something this show needs more of. The scene where Tommy shows up at the hospital and Buck is explaining how he ended up dislocating his shoulder, I thought it was hilarious when Eddie kept interrupting. Also, I love the very subtle choice of having Eddie read a Sports Illustrated with swimsuit model on the cover. It reminds me of that Kim Kardashian meme where she's like 'I'm dropping hints that I'm single'. In this case, you can swap single for heterosexual. Another thing I found funny considering the ongoing shipwars on Tumblr, X, and Reddit, Eddie has way more chemistry with Tommy than he has with Buck which is another indicator that Buddie will remain fanon and fanon only.  But this isn't Buddie Corner - it's BuckTommy Corner and I loved the little moments of domestic bliss we got. Since we don't get to see Tommy every episode, it's important they find ways to show the evolution of he and Buck's relationship without being hamfisted about it. The way Tommy supports Buck in this episode tells me they have reached the stage in the relationship where both parties are completely comfortable with each other. I love the contrast between how Eddie supports Buck and how Tommy supports Buck. Eddie's way of supporting his best friend is to give him shit and poke fun at him while Tommy lets Buck be Buck but doesn't overindulge him. He gives advice when it's appropriate and shows up when he needs to. What I also like about Tommy's boyfriend abilities is how he listens actively. When Buck was rambling on and on about the curse, Tommy was so focused on hearing every detail even when he thought that Buck was being ridiculous. And lest we forget, the man got dressed up to attend the funeral of a man who's been dead over a 100 years. I don't know about y'all but I would love to have a partner like Tommy. Tommy's the kind of guy who won't be able to post your bail because he'd be right there in the cell with you.

I don't want to celebrate too much but I have a strong feeling that BuckTommy is going to last a long time. The level of care this canonical ship is getting by the writers and Tim Minear is on par with Hen and Karen. And Bobby and Athena. And Chimney and Maddie. I also get the feeling there's plans to make Tommy a part of the fire fam. He's now commented twice on how much he admires the 118 and how supportive they are of each other. I think Buck is going to take steps to make Tommy feel more included. Him sitting in that waiting room with the rest of the 118 felt so right. It felt natural. I think if you asked Athena or Bobby or Hen, they would tell you that Tommy's one of them. He's part of the family. Okay, it's time to end this bad boy. I really enjoyed this episode. I'm really enjoying this season. If season 8 were an album, there would be no skips so far. I hope we keep this momentum as we approach the winter hiatus which usually comes around episode 8 or 9. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention yet again the network change. ABC is the perfect home for a show like this and by shifting networks, I feel like there's more longevity for the series. There's so many stories we can tell and as long as Angela Bassett. Peter Krause, and the other main actors are willing to stick around, I think we can look forward to more seasons down the road. Until next time!

[sitp-recs]

Thank you for your good work! My Marked for Later list is bottomless thanks in large part to the recs and lists you write and share!

Do you have any drarry recs where Hermione and Ron are characters but are not in a relationship together? I read Nights with You a while back, and one of the many features of that story that stuck with me was how those two were characterized. Would love to read more that shakes up the common dynamic of Ron/Hermione as a background ship.

Hello friend! You’re most welcome, and I’m delighted to know that you appreciate the rec lists so much ❤️ here are some recs featuring Ron and Hermione with other people, I highly recommend checking zeitgeistic’s works!

Steal/Keep by shealwaysreads, babooshk_art (E, 4k)

The stealing was all Hermione’s idea, though Harry still doesn’t think anyone would believe him if he told them.

Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too by peachpety (E, 4k)

Harry Potter loves his birthday… until he doesn’t. All it takes is a miserable slice of jealousy, sprinkled with an unfortunate slip of the tongue, and doused with a heavy dollop of pining to turn Harry sour. Fortunately for him, Draco Malfoy is there to sweeten the day.

Harry Potter and the Invasion of the Slytherins by cavendishbutterfly (T, 6k)

Harry just wanted to bake in peace. He didn't ask for Pansy to invade his friend group with her sheer willpower and Slytherin co-conspirators. But before he knows it, the Slytherins have regular access to his Floo. And then Draco Malfoy starts hanging around while Harry whips up endless birthday cakes and baked concoctions.

Dick Chicken by oknowkiss (E, 14k) - Dronarry

This is a story about nothing.

But, In Dreams by kedavranox (M, 24k)

Harry is a Seer, with a particular affinity for speaking to the dead, but this comes at a price he’s slowly killing himself to pay.

Lover, Where Do You Live? by dodgerkedavra (E, 38k)

Harry Potter has been running away since the War, disappearing into his job as a freelance curse-breaker. Work is his life. Home doesn't exist. He's about to disappear again when he runs into Death Eater-turned-Healer Draco Malfoy.

Bite Me, Hate Memes by pir8fancier (E, 44k)

Draco Malfoy is incensed to realize that someone is trying to usurp his position as the premier Harry Potter hater.

Golden Age by zeitgeistic (M, 52k)

The Celtic druids once made a decision that kept magic in abundance in Britannia, but they couldn’t account for the technological advances Muggles would make centuries later. Now magic is dying on the isles, and this is not a dark lord that Harry can fight. OR: Harry Potter doesn’t save the world this time, but he does get a lot of hugs.

Azoth by zeitgeistic (E, 88k)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Close Behind by oflights (M, 134k)

To rescue Draco from the Underworld, Harry has to look forward. Unfortunately, Draco has to look back.

The Hush of War by zeitgeistic (E, 350k)

Voldemort has made a bargain with Harry to stop killing muggles and muggle-borns (when at all possible, of course) in exchange for Harry's cooperation. While Harry thinks he's using the time to find a way to defeat the Dark Lord, he will realize that Voldemort is always one step ahead, and so long as he isn't killing anyone...what's the big deal? He has bigger things to worry about now, anyway.

[pansy-picnics]

in one of ur order posts you mentioned cass and lance understanding each other and I am VERY interested to hear ur thoughts. I always thought those 2 would have a fun dynamic...

AUGHHHHH YES THANK YOU I THINK SO TOO….!!!!!! Idk it’s kind of a mess when i try to put it into words but it’s like…something about them both being in the “shadow” of rapunzel and eugene respectively. they just both handle it very differently…bc lance i feel is always looking out for others and it leads him to neglect himself a lot, but when he really looks into it and he sees eugene’s growth and how he’s come into his own…how he’s found his roots and even his father….as happy for him as he is lance can’t help but feel a bit bitter sometimes. it’s the secondary character syndrome yk!!!! lance just hasn’t really reached a “breaking point” like cass has because he’s trying to manage it in a healthier way…he’s trying to make a life for himself with what he has and he’s realizing he likes things a lot as they are. but that doesn’t make that grief of what he wish he could’ve had just go away….so when he does confide in someone abt those feelings nobody rlly gets it more than cass does. and more than anyone else LANCE is the one who truly understands why cass did what she did.

this little fic of them is very important to me... this one is also one i think about a lot. it’s hard to find lance fics in this economy. :( i like to think they bonded a little leading up to destinies collide, not enough for cass to change her mind about leaving but enough to give them both some food for thought you feel me…..they both just have this unspoken Understanding with each other, and they both admire each other a lot. the shenanigans cass lance and eugene would get into would also be SO silly so it’s a shame we never really saw them interact </3

cass seems to be inherently drawn to the golden retriever type anyways whether she likes it or not so i’m sure lance and rapunzel drag her out on day trips all the time. she and lance gossip together and stuff yk...i think post series she’ll often still go out of the kingdom for work trips (in my head after settling with rapunzel she works as an ambassador for corona, mostly just to be able to get out more while still helping raps), and sometimes in the middle of the night as shes on her way back she’ll stop at his place in old corona just to steal food from him. leaves him a horribly written note and a cool rock or something. like. “Took a piece of the pie in the oven. There were already slices taken out so I figured it’d be fine. Oh I’m back btw. Not dead yet”

they also play pranks on eugene together ALL the time and this is canon actually i made the show. lance can honestly get her to do anything if he can convince her it’ll annoy eugene somehow /hj

ALSO LANCE BEING A WINGMAN FOR CASSUNZEL IS SOMETHING I NEED SOOOOO BAD AND I CANT BELIEVE NOBODY’S THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE. Like honestly i think if she were to tell a single soul about her hopeless crush it would be lance. i think he’s the only one who would be normal about it and keep it a secret tbh. lance just keeps randomly trying to put them in Situations together and cass is getting really suspicious that he’s doing it on purpose but she doesn’t REALLY have any actual evidence so she can’t say anything and it’s driving her crazy. rapunzel is just like “Cassss don’t be silly ur overthinking it ^_^” (shes lying to herself)

IDK. I THINK THEY’D HAVE SILLY SHENANIGANS AND THEY MAKE ME EMO TBH. The secondary characters always cursed to live in someone else’s shadow…..finding solace and friendship in each other………..Though one is sidelined for a much more obvious reason than the other (cough cough RACISM) but its Fineeeee its fine i’m normal about it😁 /s

[charlieslowartsies]

hellooo might i pester a director's cut of the dynamics about Suits of KGA? :>

Yeee ofc I shall do my best to explain this bc it is a weird concept but a fun one lmao

A few short comments to start: I had not quite hammered out the details and finalities of Suits until around Ghost Strings, and even that was near the end.

Nightmare's coveting of Fredbear pushed me to really cement the concept of Suits into place.

Fredbear is rare and an exception, he's incredibly powerful but burns through Souls and eats away at his Suit by accident. Even clever Marionette is unsure the specifics as to why Goldy is so devastatingly horrible without trying to be, but the lure of his abilities and powers draws many to wanting to have him for themselves, even if it will kill them. (Marion wonders if shards of Arthur and Henry are what changed Fredbear into what he is today.)

It became a 'thing' out of strange necessity when I asked myself 'what if Mike Schmidt made a "deal with the Devil"?' in that he agreed to protect the restaurant and Marion gave him Goldy. Mike Schmidt was always planned to hold onto Fredbear's spirit since the start of London Bridge.

The haunted, powerful and spooky powers of Suits was created to do two things for the kga plot: Explain the first game's cardinal rule of "no endos without an outer, protective casing" and explore further why Golden Freddy/Fredbear was more spirit/apparition than actual thing in the first game, and why he talked all jumbled up.

Mike Schmidt has been protecting/guarding the Remains of Fredbear's spirit as much as Goldy looks out for his Suit/the rest of the animatronics/the restaurant.

I had no plans to separate those two until around Last Shift/Security Breach was released...then Ideas Happened when I saw Glamrock Freddy >3

The baseline thing to remember with Suits in the KGA is: Good becomes great. Bad becomes worse.

OK now into deeper stuff:

In the diner, a 'suit' was originally just the straight forward idea of 'human wears animal mascot fur suit to entertain kiddos, and give the other Animatronic alongside them a guided force so their programming stayed on task.'

This carried into the Toy's restaurant, as they especially needed some human intervention to avoid wandering off during open hours. (The Toys were never haunted, never really given as much TLC by their coworkers, and developed differently than the older and possessed original four and the two original models.)

After the Crying Child started haunting the Marionette, William Afton noticed it and began trying to replicate what he called Reanimation. It didn't go as planned, obviously, as the Marionette was not human over night, and he didn't understand the concept and, of course, it was Wrong, to try and cheat death. His youngest was an angry, sad, and out of control spirit filled with anguish and wrath and unmoored. But he was powerful, and wanted his father's love even in death, and Marion's ability to Give Life started growing.

The Suit partnership involves one animatronic and one human soul. The easiest ones are, of course, a human dying and their Soul being anchored down into the Animatronic. It's both Blessing and Curse, sometimes leaning one way or the other depending on the two individuals fused together.

An Animatronic can survive after their human soul is allowed to move on to rest, but they retain the humanity they developed from their now lost Soul, even if they begin breaking down. The original four had AIs that were progressing along by the time Afton stuffed their children into them, small personalities that grew as the spirits of their kids took hold and clung to them for comfort/safety.

This is something I didn't explore/detail well and I wish I had back in Devil's Spine: Concerning the original four, they grew from Max's teachings but also grew due to the whims of their Souls.

Freddy's child was a little leader, wanting to protect and keep safe and be in charge. Chica's girl wanted comfort, wanted her mother, and Chica became very comforting, but fiercely protective and not afraid to show it. Bonnie's girl had her throat slit, she had no voice in death so Bonnie spoke for both of them, leading him to be chatty and pointed and animated.

Foxy had a teenager in him before the other 3 had their kids, and he tends to be the more independent thinker of the lot, often able to be more realistic and accept things out of his control, but prone to temper issues when he's hurting.

The deeper a bond that grows between the Animatronic and it's Soul, the stronger their powers. Sometimes the outer 'Suit' is the Animatronic, sometimes its the human. For example, Scraptrap is technically Max Afton's Suit, being the toughest and most protective outer shell. Mike Schmidt is Fredbear's Suit, as he's out more and Fredbear has no outer casing anymore to thrive in, as it rotted away years ago and was stripped for parts as mentioned in Lies Within.

But others in the story would call Max Scrap's 'Suit' as well, the term flip-flops as needed between the bond.

Mike and Goldy's bond is strong from power/force/intent on both their ends. Fredbear is old. And he's gotten Angry over the decades. Mike wanted nothing more than to Live, he didn't want his body and heart to give out on him before he was ready. He was so desperate to survive the nights, their bond kept him a walking dead man who passed for living so well, minus the two heartbeats.

Max and Scraptrap's bond is deep from years of Togetherness. Scraptrap had no personality programming, just a blank slate of an AI that was given to a dead kid who had lost his family, his home, and his life in one terrible year.

The Crying Child's flashlight can forcibly draw out Souls or even unravel Suits.

Suits develop in different ways that are unique to the bond, as seen by Mike and Gold being able to Switch, or Max and Scrap being able to both be functional at the same time with no issues to one another.

The Suits can be healthy or toxic partnerships, they're always codependent it just depends in what way, and what choices the Suits make.

Springtrap and William Afton being the biggest example of what goes wrong when a Suit's powers are used for evil/wrong-doing, obviously. Circus Baby and Henrietta being an example of an Animtronic swallowing a human Soul until nothing remains. Mike and Goldy being a case of "Everything's fine" and then it's discovered Mike has been dead for years. Max and Scrap being a showcase for attachment issues, Max willing to die (again) if he can't be with Scrap, and Scrap willing to murder without hesitancy if someone threatens Max (although thankfully by the time we meet him in Last Shift, he's clearly been taught otherwise.)

I think I've rambled enough ^^; its 1am and i gotta get some sleep lol

[dreamingbrownie]

Rewrite your stories until they tell you the truth.

This quote from Cornelia Funke in a Zoom Q&A I had the honour to be part of last January has genuinely changed the way I write. For those of you outside the German-speaking countries; Cornelia Funke is one of Germany's most popular teenage- and young adult novel authors, her bibliography at this point eclipses that of some history professors of mine, and her books are what got me into writing 15 years ago. I'm 26 now, so like many of us in fandom spaces, I started very young, got around a lot on the internet, and had my fair share of creator burnout over the years. I also have ADHD, unmedicated for a lot of reasons I won't get into here, so the wip curse is strong in me. I currently have three big longfic wips in three different fandoms - Yuri on Ice, Fantastic Beasts and Merlin BBC - all of which are just lacking the ending. I have worked on all of those for more than a year and a half now. Up until a few days ago, I felt like What few still understand, my House of the Dragon Long Night do-over, would become one of them.

Being on tumblr for something upwards of eight years now (and having created a tumblr account for the sole reason to keep up with the Sherlock BBC Season 4 speculations ahead of the disastrous launch), I have seen a variation on the "we are authors, not creators, for fuck's sake stop capitalizing fandom" post every other week on here for years now. And as wholeheartedly as I agree with that statement, somehow I failed to internalize it. To make it true for myself, for my works, the time and effort I put into them. I don't know if university has made me a chronic perfectionist or the rejection sensitivity aspect of ADHD, either way, I have a high standard for my own work inside and outside of fandom, which isn't a bad thing persé but lately i have found myself dissatisfied with my works as I was writing them. Coming back to them a couple days afterwards usually shows me what sections really do work and what needs editing.

"Re-write your stories until they tell you the truth" - I was never a fan of thinking of a story as a first draft, as the sand you just build your castle out of the second or even third go-around. Writing long fanfictions takes enough time as is, and living with chronic pain especially in my arms, I probably should be writing less than I already am. But this time, with What few still understand, I really tried to follow that advice from one of the authors I admire most in the world: Why does this conversation between three characters feel off? Why do I keep working on it in the back of my head like nagging a loose tooth on the way to work, why does this scene feel wrong days after I have written it? Why did I keep procrastinating the finale? (Because I hate writing battles. That's why.) Now, recently I have been reading everything dear Cecil (@softest-punk) over in the Sandman fandom puts out, and one thing they said a while ago also really stuck with me: Fanfiction isn't the published book world (thank the stars), so we're all just playing doll together. We can have our cake and eat it too. And somehow, this clashes with my perfectionism despite that it resonates with me so much.

So, lately I have been trying to find the golden middle for myself. At which point am I satisfied enough with my writing that I can publish it online and be okay with the result, and what does it take to get to that point without obsessing over the details? How do I get rid of the demon of doubt on my shoulder making the pain worse because I spent too many hours on my laptop pouring over the Targaryen family dynamics in this fix-it world I accidentally created? Let's leave aside this volatile fandom making my anxiety over publishing worse; what I am hoping to achieve is to brighten some people's day. If I am yanking on their heartstrings in the process, promise there's always a happy ending waiting at the end of my stories. I just have to find that happy ending to my own creation process, and that is going to take time, I suppose.

[bloop-im-a-frog-now]

Hi, you asked for fics suggestions? They are mostly Scar centric with some ships or other dynamics, so, I hope you don't mind some ships.

l'appel du vide by Anonymous is a cubscar fic where Scar has some abandonment issues and realizes during the life series, his memory gets fully wipes and this is how he copes.

Outnumbered by Huntress8611 is a TCD!Scar fic where he is outnumbered by the zombies.

Cradle Brothers by EclecticKefi is fae Scar and alchemist Cub dealing with the disappearance of their mother.

As to Not Offend the Fish (Even If They Do Want You) by Honey_Sunsets is Scar dealing with Tourette Syndrome during MCC and that totally doesn't bother him. Cub is also there.

if i want to by jayistootiredforthis is Scar having tics and Grian helps him with the internalized ableism.

For The Lies We Leave Behind by Ingoma is a convex fic where Cub is held by the Vex and Scar shows him the world.

an "off" day by genderfluid_bitch is Scar confiding to Grian he got sexually assaulted and victim blames himself for it.

What We've Become (aka HotGuy and the No-Good-Very-Bad-Night) by SunofRaven is Sci-Fi setting where Scar is a superhero for Concorp and had to cut ties with the people of his past. Scar accidentally calls Grian and realizes his fuck up.

vexed by equinoxe_ogg is the vex wanting to get a hold of more than 1 person.

To Have Loved and Lost by Anonymous is a cubscar fic about grief.

Curses by vexberries is royal au cubscar where Scar is a knight for King Cub and wants him in ways that he never should.

the fear that keeps us frozen by ech0_fae is about Scar's anxiety get the better of him in 3rd Life.

heading somewhere far away by adlerthetranscender is Scar turning red and not coping well. Grian helps.

alexythmia by vexberries is Scar not being fine about his previous relationship with Cub.

Memento Moris Leaves a Debt (you haven't paid it yet) by NekoDere07 is Scar struggling to remember his past as he accidentally triggers a panic attack from Grian.

Siri, what's 0 ÷ 0 + 2 - 2? by TayTayTheHufflepuff is Scar being really upset Etho lied about the cat being untamed in 3rd Life.

Heart on a Golden Platter by Ursa_lovelymusic is Scar being very hungry in 3rd Life and lets his vex instincts take over

Five Days In Between the End of the World by theteaandbiscuits is the last 5 Days before Scar and Grian have to fight to the death.

Aggravating Alleviating Persisting by Anonymous is Allay Scar finding Cub all these years after being stuck in The Crafting Dead world for years.

A Bed of Grass and Twine by foxgloveblue is Grian coming back to civilization after receiving no news from it for days. Little did he know, civilization has been dead for weeks and Scar is stuck where he is.

Survivor's Guilt by Huntress8611 is Scar have thoughts about being the last human alive in a zombie apocalypse.

homesick (are you still listening?) by pastelitey is royal AU fic about Scar’s journey of becoming the crown King, after the mysterious disappearance of his brother.

so many stars in the sky and i don't know why they always have to fall on me by adlerthetranscender is Scar coming back from Last Life and learning how to heal.

Keep My Heart From Getting Broken by mayflowers07 is Jellie getting hurt and Scar deals with it pretty well, if he says so himself (he goes apeshit).

rock 'n' roll suicide by adlerthetranscender is the aftermath of people knowing who is the person behind the HotGuy mask, right after he quits. Grian takes the time to learn more about his co-worker and can't help but feel the sadness behind his eyes.

scar is Not Vining by Huntress8611 is Scar having a panic attack when seeing Cleo.

closer to another shore by remrose is a fic that destroyed all scarian's hearts is Scar needed to go thru a "mating" ritual in order to keep his position as a higher up in the city's council. After calling Grian, his ex, for help, he's not so sure if it's a good idea anymore.

5 Times Scar Couldn't Speak + 1 Time He Didn't Have To by adlerthetranscender is what the title says exactly and I still believe it's the best fic I've ever read.

those maddening circles, that we must fly and dance our way around (Maddening Circles) by Interjection is Scar losing control of his Vex side and the server helps him regulate it.

BLARGH! by TheYesterdayShow is about Scar's attachment anxiety with his pets and how the life series have fucked it up a little.

I'll bite my tongue and hold my words, no of course it doesn't hurt! by Loafabun is basically 5 times someone asked Scar to shut up and 1 time people encouraged him to speak.

scar's to-do list by thepigeoncat is an alternative ending to Scar’s TCD series.

Hands in Fate (Our Fates are in Our Hands) by Atherixx is mumscarian soul mate AU where Scar has given up on finding his soul mate.

Baby, just let me bleed in peace by mossman_mothman is about Scar asking Grian to cut his hair for the first time since 3rd Life and tries not to get a panic attack about it.

Crack My Ribs (Make Me Whole) by mgrnn is hanahaki in Last Life where Scar gives out his lives when he knows his crush will never be reciprocated.

That's all the angst Scar Fics I have bookmarked, but there's plenty I didn't put here, like mochiwrites is a good author to check, i_was_an_island also wrote some Scar angst fics, so, there's a lot I didn't put here. Another author to check out is vexcraft or even KieIsWrite. They both write pretty good Scar angst, a bit more convex centred, but still! Very good.

Also, sorry for the late reply! This took a lot more of my energy than I planned it to, but hopefully you found what you wanted in that list!!!

Anyone have good gtws angst or hurt/comfort fics or art or anythin? Tcd or 3rd life or HC or whatever just obvs no rpf

hes so silly and i just need more fan content :]

[againstacecilia]

No More Wasted Time

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader, Modern AU (one shot)

Word Count: 6.1k

Rating: Explicit, 18+ ONLY

Excerpt: "'What are you doing?' he asks, his voice as rough as the stubble under your fingers. His pulse hammers through the vein in his neck, tempo nearly matching yours as blood thunders through your body. You wonder if he can feel it in the lingering touch of your fingertips."

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, smut, unprotected sex, p in v, f-receiving oral sex, fingering, lil bit of bondage, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort (?), emotional, might be some more things but this is my first fic so let me know if there should be any other warnings!

Summary: After coming home from grad school, your boyfriend cancels plans to move back home with you and ends the relationship. Poe is there to comfort you and spill some secrets about his feelings.

A/N: Hi there! Welcome to my first fanfic! This is a modern AU so nothing too Star Wars-y about it just good ol' fashioned simping. Please let me know what you think! Also if you know me in real life, maybe you don't right now. 😅 PS- Thanks to @woakiees for the inspiration to write a modern!Poe, DEFINITELY go check out her writing!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had known Poe your whole life. For most of it, he had just been the oldest son of your parents' best friends. More likely to push you into the pool or scare you with a horror story than to care for you. And honestly, the dynamic worked. You were always closer to his younger brother anyway, and he was a couple years older so him pestering his brother just rippled over to pestering you too. It didn’t matter that you found yourself sneaking glances at him in high school, curiosity sometimes getting the better of you watching him pull himself out of the pool. You always told yourself there was no deeper meaning behind the hours you’d spend with him in his parents' garage while he tinkered with his beat-up car. The nights you’d sneak out to join him and his brother at open mics and karaoke at dive bars you knew didn’t check IDs… They were all just friend things.

Of course, it wouldn’t stay that way forever.

It’s your first night back in town after grad school and your parents are all spending time together at your family's house. Your mother informs you she told Poe you were back in town and he was on his way to come say hi. “I’m not surprised,” you tell her, “he’d never miss an opportunity to be a pain in my ass.”

“He said he misses you,” she retorts.

“You know what, it’ll actually be nice to see him. I haven’t talked with him since Christmas.”

The late afternoon is warm and crisp. September has always been your favorite month, with the golden warm days and chilled nights creating the perfect atmosphere for spending time outside. After an hour Poe stays true to his word to stop by for a visit and falls into the same pattern of pushing as many of your buttons as he could before you kick his ass out. You’d never admit it, but It’s all the comforts of home. After a couple hours of fun on the patio, you step inside to make yourself a drink. Grabbing the cider from the fridge, your phone suddenly lights up and your boyfriend's name is flashing across the screen.

“Hi honey,” you giggle into the phone, a little tipsy from the warm whiskey and cider you all have been drinking. “Did you get the Uhaul reserved?”

He’s quiet for a moment on the other end; static crackling through the connection. The next few minutes are a blur as he gives you some fundamental flaw in himself that keeps him from being able to love you and tells you he won't be joining you in your hometown next month like you both had planned. Perfect.

You hang up the phone and sit in the living room in silence.

It takes a couple minutes, but you realize you aren’t alone anymore. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Poe hovering through the doorway to the kitchen. How long he'd been there you have no idea, but you assume he heard enough to know what's going on.

"You can come out of there, Poe, you're a terrible snoop."

"Who says I was snooping?" He leans against the doorway with hands in his pockets. His signature olive green hoodie contrasts his dark hair, skin sun-kissed from a summer spent outdoors. "I heard a raised voice and thought I'd come see what the commotion was all about."

"If you're here to bother me, save it," you snap at him, "I'm not in the mood."

He looks at you studiedly. The one downside to knowing Poe for as long as you have: he's known you for just as long.

"Alright alright, no bothering. I know you aren't actually mad at me so I'll play nice. Wanna talk about it?"

"Not even a little bit."

"Wanna drink about it?"

You shake your half-full drink at him, ice rattling against the frosty glass. "Sure, go make me another one. I'll be done with this one by the time you get back." He disappears into the kitchen to mix up new drinks.

Yours is indeed gone by the time he gets back with two fresh drinks and the bottle. "Figured I'd just bring the whole thing assuming I heard that conversation correctly. What was this one's excuse?"

"He said something along the lines of 'You just have so much going for you and I'm only going to bring you down.' I told him I wasn't in the business of fixing broken men anymore and if he wanted to break up with me then he needed to just come out and say it. Then he got mad at me for quote, 'Not giving a shit', called me a bitch, and told me it was over." You put your hand out for the drink, only to have Poe put the open bottle in your palm instead.

"What a stupid kid."

"Maybe I'm the stupid one," you scoff as you take a swig, the amber liquid burning its way down your throat. "How do I always attract these kinds of guys?"

Poe looks at you for a second, an unfamiliar emotion on his face. You blink and it's gone, replaced by the cool, indifferent mask he usually wore. "Like I said, stupid kid. Might be time to set your sights on a man."

"Oh sure, bring on the men in their suits with a 401k and a car they didn't haggle off a junk lot. Where could I find them? I'm sure they'd be interested in a girl fresh out of grad school who still doesn't have a job. A real catch."

"You'd be surprised at what people see as attractive. Me, for example, I don't do too bad. But, I'm incredibly attractive so that isn't too surprising," he says with his trademark smirk.

You throw a pillow at him. "Shut the fuck up."

He does, surprisingly, and you both fall into an easy silence watching whatever news station was on tv. After a few minutes, your parents walk in and grab their coats.

"Where are you guys headed?" you ask.

"We all decided to get a taxi over to Mauri's Bar to go dancing. You kids wanna join?"

You shake your head. "Just got a breakup call from Mark so I think I'm just gonna drink here."

"I'll keep her company for a bit," Poe chimes in before your mom can start fussing. "I have to work early anyway so I shouldn't go out."

After assuring them you'd be fine and insisting they go have fun, everyone leaves. Everyone, obviously, except Poe.

Damn the couch is small, you think. Was he this close to me the whole time?

You both stay quiet for a little longer. The only sounds coming from the tv and you both occasionally taking sips of your drinks, the light through the front window fading to twilight. It’s a comfortable quiet, and your mind starts to wander away from the evening weather report to the phone call. There goes a year of my life… What do I do now?

Poe abruptly speaks up, pulling you out of your moping. "Alright, time for a change of scenery. Want to go sit on the back porch? Get a fire in the fire pit going?” he asks, turning to face you. That man never could keep still long enough to even get through a commercial break.

"Sure. I don't have a jacket, though. Packed all my cold clothes so they’re sitting in storage." A small pang rings through you as you remember who you packed all your things with. Looks like I won’t be unpacking with Mark after all...

Whether he sees the hurt in your eyes or not, he doesn’t acknowledge it. "You can wear mine, ya baby,” he scoffs, taking off his hoodie in one swoop and handing it to you, “It isn't that cold."

You ignore the jab and head towards the back of the house.

The night is starting to cool off. Leaves are starting to turn but not fall, summer is starting to yield to autumn. You pick the oversized chair closest to the fire pit and climb into it, curling up and putting on his sweatshirt as you go. He doesn’t say anything as he grabs some wood from the shed and piles it into the fire pit. Sure, steady movements show just how many times he's done this, strong arms and dexterous hands building up the logs around the smaller kindling. It doesn't take long before he's got a crackling fire going, the flames dancing in the twilight glow. He settles into the chair opposite you. Some time passes in silence before you finally say:

"I'm such an idiot."

Poe stays quiet and stares at the fire. He gives you space to ramble as the alcohol loosens your tongue. Usually the picture of calm, you can't help but notice the flicker of muscle in his forearm as his fingers clench into a fist. "I should have seen this coming... Who am I kidding? Of course the only guys who are interested end up having mommy issues or daddy issues or something and I, ever the rehabilitator, can't seem to just let them see a fucking therapist. I have to fix them. So apparently I deserve this. Just doomed to a life of bouncing from guy to guy until I've given them all the second chances they don't deserve. I'm a fucking mess."

Your voice breaks on the last word and you bury your head in your hands. At this point you're finally starting to process what happened and that's when the tears come. As they fall from your eyes and start tumbling down into his sweatshirt, you feel Poe slide into the chair next to you. Not really caring, you wrap yourself up tighter and continue crying when you feel arms around you.

His arms are strong but gentle as he wraps one behind your shoulders and one under your knees and lifts you into his lap. As soon as you're both settled, you bury your face in his chest and just cry. It's the drinking, you tell yourself, that's why I’ve let down my wall so thoroughly in front of him. He lets you cry and strokes your hair for a while and, eventually, he starts humming. No song in particular, he just hums and works a beautiful melody that you can feel in your whole body. You’re familiar with the timbre of his voice, rich and warm, helping you through the sobs rather than trying to stop them. Weathering the storm with you. Finally the tears stop, your breathing evens out, and you both just sit there for a little while.

"I'm sorry," you say, "I guess it all finally caught up with me."

"You don't have to apologize, we've all been there," he squeezes you in a small hug but doesn't let you go. "Although, I've never seen you like that."

"We've known each other our whole lives and you've never seen me cry?”

"No, I've never seen you doubt yourself."

You don't respond for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"In all the years we've known each other, I've never seen you stop believing in you. You've always been this confident, albeit stubborn, person who was actually known to give me a challenge every once in a while." You look up to see a sort of mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Why do you think I never complained when you came over?"

"Uh, because we were kids and didn't have a choice in the matter?"

"My brother was always having friends over. You're one of very few I didn't ask my parents to bar from the house."

"Sweet talking me right now, Dameron?"

"Just thought you could use some perspective."

Through the entire exchange you didn't move, and he didn't let you go. It's dark now, mellow in the September evening. The crackling of the fire and the wind in the mature trees the only sounds as you decide to sneak another look up to his face, your breath snatched away by what you see.

He's staring into the fire, eyes and face unburdened by facade. The flames light up his dark brown eyes, brows slightly furrowed as if in some deep thought. Thick stubble, maybe a couple days' worth, peppering his strong jaw, mouth set in a thin line. You can't stop yourself and you reach up to lightly run a finger over those full lips, some emerging part of you demanding to be noticed in this intimate and uncharted territory, wanting to see that roguish smirk instead of a pensive scowl.

His eyes snap from the fire to yours, just as surprised as you are to find your fingers brushing from his lips up his jaw and down his neck, savoring and memorizing the lines of his face; the flames in his eyes that aren't entirely just reflections from the fire pit in front of you.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his voice as rough as the stubble under your fingers. His pulse hammers through the vein in his neck, tempo nearly matching yours as blood thunders through your body. You wonder if he can feel it in the lingering touch of your fingertips.

"I honestly don't know." You quickly take your hand away and start to push out of his warm embrace. "I'm so sorry."

"Wait." He doesn't let you get up as he gently adjusts you so he can see you a little better. "I didn't mean that to sound like stop. Just… please. Stay."

So you do. Wrapped up in his sweatshirt, in him, the smell of him familiar and somehow entirely new now. After your heartbeat settles a bit you whisper, "Tell me what you're thinking."

More silence. For a while, Poe says nothing. He just keeps holding you and staring at the fire. It lasts for long enough you start to think he didn’t hear your quiet request. As you’re about to ask again, he speaks.

"I'm thinking... I'm thinking I don't want to ruin this."

Your heart sinks, preparing for another blow, scared that he's regretted taking you in his arms since the moment he did it, ready for him to disappear; then words are suddenly tumbling out of him, like he’s afraid he won’t be able to get them all out if he doesn’t do it all at once.

"I don't want to ruin what we have, what we've always had. I know I've always been a bit of a bully, picking on you the way I've always picked on my brother, but underneath it all I've always known you had a hold on me. You worked your way into a fundamental part of who I am without even trying. I almost told you not to leave a couple years ago, but you were set on going to grad school and I knew I couldn't get in the way of that dream. And when you brought that Mark guy home for Christmas..."

You remember the night you introduced your now ex-boyfriend to Poe and his family, Christmas eve. It had all gone well enough, everyone seemed to like him, but Poe had left early; said something about needing to see friends from out of town and just walked out the door. The realization must've been clear on your face because he nodded and said, "That's why I bailed that night. Seeing you flushed from the cold walking through the front door, eyes sparkling from all the Christmas cheer, I felt lighter than air. Our eyes met and I could’ve sworn I saw something spark… But then I looked behind you and saw him, saw the way you looked at him throughout the night, and I couldn't take it. I had to get out. I told myself that night that I would never be anything more to you than what I had always been and to move on."

You reached up to cup his face in your hand, he leaned in and closed his eyes at your touch. Without opening them he said,  "I'm sorry. I told myself I was never going to tell you any of this."

"I'm glad you did, Poe." You rest your other hand on his chest, "I really am."

"Please tell me what you're thinking."

Now it's your turn to be quiet for a moment. You pull your hands back to tuck into your chest and lay your head back on him. After a couple steadying breaths you say, "Do you remember the last night I was here before I left for school?"

Of course he did. You didn't think either of you could forget that night. You and your families, along with some other friends, got together for karaoke at your favorite bar as a send-off. People steadily trickled out all night but you, Poe, and a couple other friends straggled behind until it was suddenly 1am. You had spent the night singing with him, song after song, harmonizing and coming up with your own lyrics to songs you both knew by heart.

"I do. That's when I almost asked you to stay."

"There was a part of me that wanted you to. I went to the bathroom while Henry was singing some terrible rendition of "Runaway" and, as I was washing my hands, I heard you start "Wonderful Tonight" and the world stopped. I snuck out of the bathroom to watch you sing and I couldn't breathe... I wrote it off as the night of drinking making me goofy but I swear to God, Poe, I’ve heard you sing that song a million times and never heard it that way before. And then you looked at me. You looked right into me and saw all of me and I couldn't look away. The memory of it all pops into my head sometimes and I'm still left breathless by it. By you."

As you stop speaking, you could swear the wind and fire stop making noise too. Nothing exists outside the shaking breaths and thundering heart you can hear, unsure if they're coming from you or Poe. You can feel it; the freefall you were about to be on. Was it really only an hour ago you were upset about some boy breaking up with you over the phone? Some kid who wasn't ready for everything you wanted for your future? And here, right now, was a man. An honest to God man willing to keep his needs hidden so you could choose your own path...

You lift your head up to look at his face, to gauge his reaction to what you just told him. He looks down at you with starlight and flames in his eyes as he meets yours and slowly, as if expecting you to disappear, Poe closes the small distance between you and kisses you.

It starts soft; a silent invitation without expectation. You know he'd stop the instant you pulled away or did anything to show you didn't want this to be happening. But there's no hesitation in you as you kiss him back, your lips parting for him with a familiar ease. A sigh escapes him and his tongue sweeps into you, tasting and learning. You keep kissing, as his trembling hands start to explore down your face, over your shoulders, down your back and coming to a hesitant pause on your hips. You pull away for just long enough to say, "Poe, I want this. I want you. I have for a long time."

That was all he needed to hear. As if a switch flipped, his hand weaves into your hair and pulls you crashing back into his lips. His other hand free, he takes his time skimming over every curve and plane of your body. The feeling of his warm hands, steady now and completely in control, spurs you on to test biting his bottom lip just enough to make him suck in a quick breath. Just as you're staying to worry you did something he didn't like, a low laugh comes rumbling from his chest. "Oh, is that how you like to play?" The primal intensity in his question goes straight to your core.

"Playing too nice is no fun." You croon into his neck as you hop-skip your kisses from behind his ear down to his shoulder. And to prove it, you bite down again.

Poe growls, almost a warning as his breath hitches, "Careful, sweet girl, I've been holding back on these feelings for a while. Don't want to lose cont-oh fuck." You swing around to straddle him and switch your attention to his other side, causing whatever he was about to say to die in his throat.

"Oh fuck off, Dameron, I'm not fragile." A challenge dances in those words, mirrored in your eyes as you pull away to face him properly. "And you aren't the only one that's been putting feelings aside."

His eyes burn even brighter at that; those beautiful, dark eyes, almost black with desire in the glow of the dying fire. No one has tended to it in a while and it looks like no one will for a while longer. Through the haze and electricity surrounding you he asks, "Are you really sure about this? You just got out of a relationship and I don't want you to feel like I'm using that vulnerability to-" You stop him again, this time with a gentle kiss.

"Those other guys have come and gone so much I was starting to think I was cursed. But now I think it's because I've been ignoring the real deal my entire life."

"And that's me?"

"I hope so. What do you think?"

"I think I agree."

No one was going to be back at the house for hours, knowing how Friday nights went. Nothing to interrupt or burst the little bubble that had been placed as if by magic around you. The thought seems to hit both of you at the same time as you lock eyes with him and he gives you that crooked smile that has secretly made you weak in the knees for years.

With his hand back in your hair, he pulls you close to him again and angles your head so he can reach that tender spot where your neck meets your shoulder. Kissing and biting and kissing again, he spends time teasing little moans and giggles out of you while you send your hands exploring his chest. You never realized just how broad he was, never really noticed the muscles that flex and move as he moves his hands to grip your waist, then moves down to brush your ass and thighs. You shift to kiss him again, your tongue exploring and tasting the lingering ghost of whiskey in his ragged breaths. Your hands weave into his curls, soft and chilled from the late summer night. His hands, still tracing their way up and down the length of your legs, send a shiver through your body.

"Getting cold?" He tentatively asks, hands pausing their movement momentarily.

"No," you whisper, "I just can't believe this is actually happening."

With a mischievous grin that stirs something in you, Poe replies, "Believe it, sweetheart.”

As if to show you that, yes, this really was happening, Poe smacks your ass with one hand, the other digging into the meat of your thigh. A moan slips from you as you pull at the hem of his shirt, the charge in the air around you driving you wild. When he notices the shift in you, without breaking away from your lips, he picks you up and carries you back through the back door.

He takes you into the house and heads toward the guest room you're staying in. The bed is big and comfy and covered in fluffy blankets and pillows soft as silk. Poe walks over to the side and sits you down. Eyes never leaving your face, he gently reaches over and pulls the sweatshirt off of you. "Is this what you want?" He asks again.

"You are what I want. Your hands, your body, your mouth everywhere." You make sure he knows there's no hesitation as you reach for his belt.

"Fuck," he mumbles, scrambling for your t-shirt. His breathing is already heavy as he chokes out, "I can't promise I'll be gentle."

"I don't want you to be. I'll tell you if you go too far." The need in your words is enough to tip him over the edge. Before you know it your shirt is gone, discarded along next to the bed with his shoes and the pants you managed to unbuckle and then he's straddled over you on the bed. With deft hands he unhooks your bra, casting it away and replacing the lacy material with calloused hands, massaging your aching breasts while letting out a low sigh. You get him to let go for just long enough to get his shirt off over his head but as soon as it's gone, his hands are back, fingers pinching your nipples with the perfect amount of pressure to walk the line between pleasure and pain. "Am I going to have to take my own pants off?"

"All you have to do is ask," the corners of his mouth curling a bit, "but that didn't sound very polite. You gotta say please, sweet girl."

Your core turns molten as you prop yourself up on your elbows under him and push your lips into a pout. "Pretty please?"

"Pretty please, what?" A low laugh from him rumbles through your damn soul. “Use your words.”

The feral look in his eyes adds to that warm feeling deep in you. "Poe, come on, this is silly.”

Suddenly, he pushes you all the way onto your back and gets his hands working your breasts again. Leaning in close enough his stubble scrapes your cheek, he whispers into your ear, "Just tell me what you want and it's yours. Anything." And bites down on your neck.

"God, fuck, Poe please, please take off my pants."

He chuckles into your shoulder, "That's a good girl." And with one last kiss, he breaks away to work your jeans. After only a second the button and zipper come free and you lift your hips to help him slide your pants and underwear off and onto the floor.

He stops and just stares at you. Takes you all in, laying in front of him completely naked, and you see something in his face both soften and ignite at the same time.

"What's wrong?" You ask, feeling the intensity of his stare over every inch of you. When his eyes finally make their way up to your face and you lock eyes it's like coming home. Like finding what you've been looking for and the whole time it was right here.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything is right. You're just... So much more than I imagined." And then he was back, kissing you so intensely it was like looking at the sun. Like jumping into the pool after sitting in a hot tub. It was exactly what you needed to tear down that last bit of wall separating you from him and fully give in.

You move your hands from where they are on his face and trace his muscles down his front, lingering on the V shape guiding you where you want to go. A gentle tug at his underwear has him pulling them off and dropping them off the bed, never breaking away from you. Your hands slowly trail down his body, savoring every touch, and when they reach him you gasp at the size. The heat pouring through your body is almost too much to stand, and you whimper as his hands take a similar path down your body and rest right at the crest between your legs. Your need has you bucking your hips closer to his hand, desperate for some kind of touch. Without needing any more direction his finger slides into your folds, slick and ready for him.

"Fuck, you're so wet..." He trails off as he slides his finger back up to your throbbing clit to draw patient circles there. "Feel free to relax, I'll take it from here."

Before you can respond he slides down your body, kissing and nipping as he goes. He settles himself down between your legs and looks up at you. With a roguish wink, he dips down and starts slowly kissing your inner thighs, working his way inward. Stubble scraping along the sensitive skin, your heart pounds and your entire body is electric with need. He finally gets to your blazing core and, without feeling the need to tease you anymore, immediately starts working magic with his tongue. He licks and swirls around your clit, the perfect combination of slow and firm that starts to build as you involuntarily moan his name and start moving your hips in time with his passes. You feel him smile, a dark, warm laugh thundering into every corner of you as he says, “Patience, sweet girl, I’m just getting started.” It only adds fuel to the fire building in you, acutely aware that he knows exactly what he’s doing and that he’ll focus that knowledge on you for as long as he wants.

No amount of teasing over the years could’ve prepared you for this. Poking fun and name-calling are one thing; this methodical, take you to the brink only to bring you back again game he’s playing is torture. Torture, though, in the best way, making your toes curl and heart pound to a rhythm you’ve never felt before. After edging you three times, you can’t take it anymore.

“Poe, please,” you moan, not able to get any more out before words escape you. You grab his hair and pull. Hard.

“Yeah, baby?” he growls as he stops for long enough to look up at you, framed by your legs wrapped around him. “Where are those nice words?”

Before you can figure out how to answer, he chuckles and seems to take pity on you. With one last lazy loop around your clit he adjusts a little bit and keeps eye contact as his fingers plunge into you. You scream out his name and he fucks you with his fingers, mouth and tongue working your clit as pleasure spears through you. He rides it with you, wave after wave cresting and breaking until your body stops spasming. Breathing heavy, you open your eyes to see him put his fingers, the same ones just inside you, into his mouth and slowly pull them out, savoring the flavor of you.

You only get a moment of reprieve before he's back over you, kissing you and spreading his hands lightly over your throat. You let out a hum, putting your hand over his and pressing down just enough to show him it's okay. Your other hand you send down to his cock, ready to repay the favor when he stops your hand and puts it above your head. "Ah ah ah, we'll have lots of time for that later."

At those words your release starts to build again. He moves your other hand above your head and pins them there. "Now, be a good girl and keep these here or I'll have to find something to keep them there."

A gleam in his eye tells you it's a challenge. "Make me," you retort.

He damn near purrs as he says, "Ah, I was hoping you would say that." From his discarded pants he pulls out his belt, expertly but gently tying your hands with it. You squirm a little to find the belt snug, but you know you could get out of it if you wanted to. Poe did nothing without making sure you always had the option to say no or to stop. He lets go of your hands and turns his attention to kissing your neck down to your chest. In between kisses he says:

"I'm afraid you'll have to ask nicely again to get out of that, and I expect them to stay up there. Are we clear, sweet girl?”

The urge to touch him, to feel his powerful body as he continued to trace shapes along your torso, is almost too much to bear. You clamp your legs together to relieve some of the tension gathering there. "Yes, clear," you say, your voice breathy and almost too quiet to hear. That gets another chuckle out of Poe, but apparently its a good enough answer that his mouth finds yours and you're once again tumbling toward orgasm as his hands start to roam your body. His touch leaving a trail of heat; you're positive if you looked you'd see steam rising off your body where he touched you.

"Poe, I need you. I need you inside me please." You wanted to sound so in control but the words tumble out in a jumble, driven by need and instinct.

It was all he needed to shift his hips down, and then slowly back up as he enters you. He goes slow, letting you get used to his size. Inch by inch he fills you so perfectly it sends blazes of heat to add to what was already forming again in your lower belly. All the while, he kisses and licks and nips every inch of skin he can reach.

Being restrained was finally too much, and you hear yourself say, “I need to touch you, please let me touch you.”

“That’s better,” he tells you, his voice smoldering. He reaches up and undoes the belt, his movements sure as he casts the belt aside again. Your hands are immediately all over him, nails scratching deep into his back. One long graze over those powerful muscles had him shuddering, another had him losing all control and sliding himself in all the way to the hilt, only to pull back and slam back in. Out of nowhere, release catches you hard enough to see stars but he doesn’t let up, pumping and rocking with a rhythm to match yours. Over and over again, he says your name and weaves a string of curses in between like poetry. Before you’re even finished with one climax another starts building as he angles his hips to hit that spot deep inside you hard enough to unravel you. Again and again, his thrusts betraying that dominating composure and showing how badly he wants this too. How much he'd been holding back all these years.

"Poe I want you to cum with me, inside me. Oh God, I'm so close, please."

A growl slips out of him. He pulls out long enough to flip you onto your stomach and enters you again, your legs together creating luxurious friction for both of you.

"Yes, yes please Poe this feels so good fuck," is all you can say before your orgasm takes you and you're moaning his name, over and over again. He's a second behind you, cock throbbing and pulsing with every shot of his load he spills into you. He shudders one last time before going limp on your back, sweaty and hot and panting on top of you, cock still inside you.

"Holy shit. Holy shit, sweet girl..." he stammers a few times before giving up and kissing your shoulder. You lay like this together for a moment, gathering the pieces of yourself he thoroughly shattered and wondering how it had taken this long to be here. Gently, he removes himself from you and helps you roll over so you're facing each other. You meet his eyes, yours half-closed and heavy with contentment, his still burning with something unsaid.

"Tell me what you're thinking," you say quietly, never looking away from him.

"I'm thinking," he pauses for a moment, "That I wasted a lot of time not telling you how I felt. And that I don't want to miss any more time."

"Then we won't." You smile lazily up at him, taking in the excitement and joy in his face. "You're stuck with me, Dameron."

He kisses you again, sweet and gentle and unhurried. You kiss him back, trying to put all the words you held yourself back from saying into it. Making up for lost time. He pulls away, looking you up and down, wonder shaping every feature.

"No more wasted time. You and me against the world," you say softly.

He pulls the covers over both of you. As he lays down next to you and pulls you in close to his chest he repeats reverently, "No more wasted time."

[summersnow82]

Her Name

Fanfiction _ Xena: Warrior Princess

Fictober 2022/ Prompt #1: “I chose you.”

TW: Mentions of canon character death.

Author's note: I always liked the Meg/Joxer dynamic, even though I shipped him and Gabrielle hard. I feel like Meg was kind of an afterthought in the later series, and I would've liked to see or hear more about their relationship. Hope you enjoy!

....................

Meg was secure about a lot of things: her beauty, her cooking, and her ability to survive. She was not, and had never been, secure in Joxer’s love for her, though. She knew he cared for her, but she’d seen him cast too many glances longingly in Gabrielle’s direction. Even now, ten years after she and Xena had disappeared, he still called for her in his sleep.

It broke her heart every single time.

Still, when a good man asks you to marry him you don’t turn him down. Especially if you love him. Meg might not be the brightest dinar in the box, but she certainly wasn’t the dullest, either.

She loved Joxer well, too. She encouraged him, lavished attention on him, and listened to him when he spoke. Really listened. He was the first man she ever felt truly safe around; the only man where sex or money wasn’t an ulterior motive.

The sex was good, though. Pretty damn good.

So when he sidled up to her at the end of the night she should’ve been responsive. She wanted to be, but she just couldn’t. Ten years, two babies and another on the way, a horse he protected like it was the Golden Fleece itself, and an inn dedicated to his two best friends. She’d given him everything, indulged all of it, and he still called out for Gabrielle in his sleep.

She couldn’t have stopped the tears if she’d wanted to.

“Hey, hey,” he said softly, taking her by the shoulders and gently turning her to face him. “Megmeg, what’s wrong?” He was genuinely concerned – his wife spat curses, threw pots, pans, and fists, but rarely did she ever cry.

Meg shook her head, trying to turn so he couldn’t see her shameful display, but he held her fast, gently lifting her chin up to look at her. “If someone hurt you - ,” he began, deep lines of concern etched in his face.

“You married me, but you still want her!” Meg’s cry surprised them both, and Joxer blinked, wide-eyed.

“What?”

“Gabrielle. You call out for her in your sleep all the time. You loved her then, and you love her now. I know that. I know you settled for me because she was gone, and I’ve accepted it, but it still hurts like Hades.” She’d pulled away from him successfully now, turning her back so he couldn’t see the mess of tears and snot she was unsuccessfully wiping away. She bet Xena never had snot bubbles when she cried – she probably looked like a goddess when she did that, too.

“I do love Gabrielle,” he said softly. “And Xena. And I always will, but not like you think, Megera.”

Her full name. He only pulled that out when he was really serious. He approached her quietly, reaching over her shoulder to hand her a handkerchief. He knew about the snot bubbles, and they didn’t bother him in the least.

“I love you, Meg. I chose you, and I would’ve chosen you even if Xena and Gabrielle were still here.” Meg blew her nose loudly, and Joxer let out a small laugh. “I don’t call out for Gabrielle because I love her; I call out for her because I couldn’t save her.”

Meg turned around, her red and puffy face showing just how confused she was by his words. “What?”

Joxer took a deep breath, turning his eyes to the ground. “Xena can take care of herself – she always could, but Gabrielle? I watched her die so many times, Meg. I tried to protect her when she was hurt or weakened, and I failed every single time. Xena was always there to bring her back, to help her up, and me?” He shrugged. “I dunno what I expected, but I wanted to succeed. I didn’t think that would be the last chance I got.” He looked up, eyes wet with tears. “And they’ll never know how hard I tried to keep them safe, how much I loved them.”

Meg felt a new knot form in her throat. Her sweet warrior wannabe husband blamed himself for something he’d had no role in, but still felt responsible for. Still, she had to ask before she lost the courage. “You really love me? Love me love me?”

Joxer chuckled through his tears. “Yes, Meg. I love you love you. More than anyone else, past, present, and future.” He gently cupped her face, giving her a lopsided grin she adored so much. “I chose you, and I choose you every day for the rest of our life together.”

She grinned, wiping her nose once more with his handkerchief. “Well,” she said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye he knew all too well. “Why didn’t ya say so sooner?”

[princecharmingmendes]

Invisible String | Werewolf AU | Raul Mendes

Raul is a werewolf and his mate turned out not only to be human, but his best friend's little sister. And as much as he tried, he could not ignore that invisible string tying her to him.

Hello hello! This is a bit of an experimental thing and I'm really excited about it, I've always been highly interested in everything about alternative universe and fantasy in general, and ever since I received the first ask to write a werewolf piece I've been wanting to do it but also a bit nervous. So hopefully this meets your expectations and you guys like it! Let me know if this was any good and if you guys would like to see something else like this! 

*Word Count: 8K+;

*Warnings: a few curse words, a little angsty (i guess), minor drinking;

*Posted: March 28th, 2021.

                                               -*-

Raul felt like life liked playing sick little tricks on him.

Like the fact that werewolves had a very strict hierarchy and normally it worked nicely. The Alphas are the ones in charge and responsible for keeping the pack safe and in order. Betas normally were kind of the strength of the pack, trained to listen and do whatever the pack needed and physically skilled to fight off anyone. And the Omegas were the glue to all of it, the sweet and naturally more caring ones, and it was an ancient thing that was followed to this day. Until Raul and his twin brothers were all born Alphas. It was hard informing the pack that they’re all going to be the Alphas of their pack. And since normally it was only allowed one wolf to claim that position, it was harder to make older ones respect their decision and actually accept, but at the end of the day, they didn’t have much of a choice. The Alpha genes ran in the Mendes family for generations and thankfully their dynamic was actually great and the triplets formed a great group of wolves. 

And that was just an example of the things Raul blames on fate or whatever for making his like a bit more difficult. But maybe the hardest one was having mated with not only a human, but his Beta’s younger sister. His best friend’s and right hand’s sister, one of the only girls that was off limits had to be his mate. 

And it wasn’t even his choice. Mating is a common thing between werewolves and other creatures, often seen as a blessing, a reason to celebrate. It’s similar to what most people have as a soulmate. It’s two souls that were meant to be together and are deeply connected to the other. Sometimes it’s harder to notice, it can take a few years and sometimes it’s almost instantaneous, and it can’t be undone or ignored. And even though sometimes it can be denied by one of the sides, according to the ones who’ve been through it, it’s an awfully painful experience. Some even go as far as describing having a piece of you being pulled out of your heart. 

It also doesn’t have to be necessarily tied to a romantic relationship, you can simply be friends with them for the rest of your lives, even though it doesn’t happen most of the time. Most of the time it isn’t even something to think about, it just feels natural, you feel whole when you’re around that person, they’re meant to be your other half and normally it just clicks. And when you grow up surrounded by wolves, it’s normally a beautiful connection to witness. Raul always found their parents relationship amazing, and deep down longed for a similar deep relationship with someone, finding his mate and falling in love. He just didn’t expect it to happen the way it did. 

It was over four years ago and he was running a bit late to Mike’s, his best friend, nineteenth birthday he was having at his parents’ house. Raul got caught up sorting through some pack stuff and when he was finally done with it, he was already half an hour late and it was outside their little secluded “neighborhood” in the wooded area. It was a bit far from the town so the wolves wouldn’t have a problem with the humans since their existence was still a secret. Only very few and selected humans knew about them. So it was best for everybody if they built their little community on the woods just beside the town, and keep their presence among humans only when seen necessary. 

Mike’s father, who is a werewolf, fell in love with a human (Mike’s mom) and they decided to move into town to be closer to her job since she was a nurse and needed to be near the hospital in case of an emergency. And when Mike was born a wolf, they decided that he was going to be raised like his dad was in the wolf community and would make his decision in joining it or not when he was older. And he did choose the pack life since it felt more natural to him. But Y/N, his younger sister, was actually born a human and was raised by his parents like any human kid, and she was never taken to their community since she was three years younger than her brother and Mike was very protective over her, not knowing how his pack would treat her or react to her.

So when Raul parked his car right outside the address that was sent to him and ringed the bell, he wasn’t expecting to be met with his mate. But there she was, Y/N stood with the door open as her eyes widened the slightest bit and he was sure he wasn’t breathing. He felt like he was floating and her sweet scent of something like Roses and Strawberries was all he could feel. All his other senses were clouded by her presence just a few inches away from him. He didn’t know how to react or what to say, and for the first time in his life he was completely speechless. Raul was normally a very socially skilled person, he was good at talking to people and reading someone’s expressions like a book, always had a sharp answer at the tip of his tongue and knew what to do at most situations, but Y/N caught him off guard. 

She seemed a bit confused as well. Her mouth slightly a gape as she held to the wooden doorframe.  Y/N was really happy she was finally meeting all of her brother’s friends and getting to know a bit more of this part of his life she was deprived of. And she was a bit shocked to notice how big and strong all of his friends were, specially Shawn and Peter, who Mike explained to be the Alphas. They were also incredibly nice to her, she suspects it was her brother’s doing since every time they would say something or curse, they would always look at Mike first. But when the doorbell rang again, she knew it was Raul, he was the only one missing and they knew he was late due to “pack stuff” as they explained. She felt a bit jittery and basically ran to the door from the spot she was sitting next to it on her phone, wanting to get to know her brother’s best friend for a while now. But she wasn’t prepared to meet him.

Sure, he was identical to his twins, but there was something different about him that hit her hard. Of course, he had more tattoos and a few more piercings, he looked a bit rougher in the edges with his leather jacket and wild golden eyes, but there was something that wasn’t about his appearance that took her breath away. And suddenly she didn’t know what to do, they’re both stuck in their place staring at each other. And even though her mind was screaming at her to stop being awkward, invite him in and actually act like a decent being, Y/N couldn’t move a muscle, and he’s probably thinking she’s an idiot and too polite to invite himself in. And in the middle of her internal turmoil, he regained some self control for the sake of both of them. 

Raul cleared his throat shaking his head a bit “Hi, I’m Raul, you must be Y/N” he said and she swore she melted at the sound of his voice “it’s really nice finally meeting you” 

He offered his hand to her to which she swiftly grabbed, feeling his warmth seeping throughout her palm, his fingers curling around her much smaller ones. He had a beautiful design tattooed on the back of his hand and she got a little lost in it. 

Y/N sighed relief he broke the awkward moment and looked up back at him, trying to control her thoughts “Yeah, that’s me, nice to meet you too, would you like to come in?”

Raul smiled as he let go of her hand a bit reluctantly “sure” was all he said as he stepped in closer to her, being hit with a fresh wave of her sweet scent, forcing him to take a deep breath. 

“The boys are outside in case you’re wondering” she said placing a strand of hair that fell out of her little updo behind her ear.

Raul held back the urge to do it himself “Oh, so they annoyed you into staying in the living room?”

“No no” her eyes almost budged out of their socket “I was just- I was just waiting for you since I knew you were running late and they’re all talking, so I didn’t want to intrude and I-“

“Y/N it’s just a joke” he said through a chuckle as he saw her face flushing “relax a bit, honey”

Y/N giggled softly as she closed the door “I’m sorry, I-“

“Hey, dude!” Mike called from across the room, making their heads snap towards him “how’s everything back home?”

“All settled” Raul said taking a step closer to his Beta “just arrived actually”

“Oh, so you met my little sister” and even though it seemed like a normal sentence, Raul knew Mike and knew his posture like the back of his hand, he knew this was a reminder of the conversation they had back home about staying away from her.

“Yeah, she opened the door for me” he said and from his peripheral he saw Y/N nodding confirming his line.

“I see, the guys are outside, let’s go grab a burger for you” Mike said patting him on the shoulder and dragging him away from the front door where Y/N seemed to be frozen in place. 

Raul remembers vividly every little second of that night. Remembers how he decided he should keep his distance for the sake of his friendship and for Y/N herself. She was only sixteen when they met and she is human, which means the bond isn’t too strong for her, specially at first glance, and dating a werewolf was hard. He lived far into the woods and didn’t necessarily mingle with people in town, who were probably her friends and she wasn’t raised with his type, so maybe it would be too much for her. And Raul’s sure Mike wouldn’t be happy about it, at least not now where they first met and she’s that young. So he kept his distance, only talking to her when extremely necessary. 

And that was a pattern he kept for the remaining four years of their limited interactions (which he intended keeping that way).  

As older as Y/N got, the closest she got with the pack. She was always close to Mike, but since she was young she wasn’t allowed to walk or drive alone to the community, but as soon as she was old enough she was always around on the weekends and important dates. And she was just lovely, so everyone adored her, always wanting to have her around for monthly movie nights and even going as far as inviting her to spend the night. Raul couldn’t really blame anyone for wanting her around, he did too, but he couldn’t, so he didn’t say a thing about it. And he knew he made her hesitant on accepting those invitations, cause at every attempt she ever made to get closer to him, he shut her off. And he could see Y/N was hurt, but it was for the best. 

He even tried dating someone else for a while  and he noticed Y/N didn’t like it even the tiniest bit. The girl he was dating was a Beta that was temporarily living with them as her pack solved something around the area, and she was nice. But it didn’t last long, she was only staying for a few months, and on the day she left, there was a barbecue in celebration to one of the older wolves and of course Y/N was there. Raul was late since he was taking his ex to the airport, and Y/N didn’t even look at him when he stepped into the little location they were all settled. He found the act odd but didn’t say a word, only walking towards his brother’s and Mike who were laughing probably about something dumb one of them said. Raul spent a few minutes with them, but he kept looking over his shoulder where Y/N was sat, noticing after an hour she was missing and he instantly started trying to find her.

He dismissed his friends as he walked into the pack house, trying to clear his senses to track her in case she was hurt (since she was a bit wobbly on her feet already), but only to be met with her staring at her phone while sitting on the couch with a huge pout set on her lips. Raul was about to turn and leave when Y/N looked up, noticing his presence and he swears his heart stopped at that moment. She had tears filling her eyes and her lips were trembling slightly, a deep frown set on her brows.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here” she mumbled sniffling softly “I just needed to clear my head a bit”

Raul nodded with softer eyes as he walked closer to her “it’s okay, are you hurt? Are you in pain?”

Y/N shook her head “I honestly don’t know why I’m so upset, I didn’t even drink that much or anything, I just-“ she sighed heavily and looked up at the celling.

“Tired?” Raul offered gently and she nodded her head slowly “want me to drive you home?”

“No, please, just go enjoy the night, isn’t Samantha here?” she said as he sat down beside her, still keeping some distance. 

“We broke up, she left today” was all he said and she looked up at him with wide eyes, but before she could start apologizing, he just pressed his hand to her knee gently “it’s okay, it wasn’t anything serious, no need to apologize, sweetheart” 

“I- okay”

“Still wanna stay?” he pressed gently “I can still take you home”

“No, it’s okay, I was supposed to spend the night anyway” she shrugged.

“Wanna go upstairs and take a nap?” was all he asked and she shook her head. 

“The thing is I was supposed to stay at Stacy’s room tonight, but her boyfriend showed up, so I guess I got the living room” she explained “which is totally okay, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, I know you don’t like me much, and I don’t want to make things worse” 

And at that his heart shattered “wait, what?”

“Oh no, I really don’t mind, I can call a cab too, I can leave in twenty minutes too, I’m sorry I-“ she started breathing a bit heavily as he picked up her heart racing more than usual.

Raul shook his head, turning on the couch to face her better “No, it’s not that, I’m not mad at you or anything, I just- who said I don’t like you?”

“I- no one” she opened her mouth a few times before closing it until she said something that shattered his heart in a billion pieces “no one, it’s just something I’ve noticed throughout the years”

“What do you mean?”

Y/N sighed deeply as she glanced down at her lap, fidgeting the bracelet she always wore, which Raul caught on a long time ago to be a nervous habit “I know you get uncomfortable when I’m around and Mike told me it was probably something about you not being used to have humans around, and I totally get it, it’s just sometimes it seems like my presence is enough to put you in a sour mood and I don’t think it’s because I’m human or anything, and I shouldn’t be saying this to you, I’m sorry”

Raul took a deep breath as he squeezed her knee gently and seeing her relax a bit at his touch “stop apologizing for everything, you did nothing wrong, sweetheart, well, besides assuming I disliked you”

“Oh” was all she managed out as her brain ran a million mile per hour.

Y/N has had a crush on him for years now, ever since the first time they met. He was the literal description of her type, but the dreamy part ended there. Of course Raul was always polite and never made anything to directly hurt her, but he kept pushing her away and avoiding her like the plague, and maybe it was all in her head, but he didn’t seem like that whenever he was around others. And that did nothing to help her case. She knew nothing would ever happen between them, he made it pretty obvious he wasn’t attracted to her, but she’d like to try and be friends with him but even that didn’t seem to interest him. And it wasn’t his fault, she didn’t even knew the reason as to why she felt the need to have him around, but she just did. So Y/N just lost hope after all the attempts to make him like her, but he was always so distant and it still affected her after all this years. 

In the other hand, Y/N had no idea how hard it was to push her away. Raul was certain she knew exactly what to do to get to his heart, she had to. Every little thing she did made his heart flutter and she was just so good at having people wrapped around her fingers that she made her way through all of his friends lives. He thought they were mates at first glance, her scent was a great clue, but as they got to know each other better, even indirectly, just made him sure of it. Y/N meant much more than what he thought was possible, seeing her stressed over school stuff or sad about whatever reason was enough to put him in panic, not knowing how to keep his distance and stop her from hurting. And all his cold exterior wasn’t necessarily his choice, he knew Mike confessed he hoped his sister would not get with an Alpha, that meant she would have to give up a few things in her life and that would herself in danger for having Raul’s scent all over her. And Mike also told him he would do whatever he could to avoid that to keep her safe.

So he did it for her, to keep her safe from the problems that came along with living in a pack, dating a werewolf and being a human. But it was getting harder, and tonight he decided to ignore it, that she needed him more than she needed to stay away from him. And that’s what pushed him to wrap his fingers around her wrist, making her look up at him

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” he offered in a lower voice “maybe it will help you clear your head a bit” and Y/N seemed a bit shook, looking up at him with wide eyes and she nodded slowly.

Raul smiled fondly at her as he got up with her following him up the stairs to the little movie room the pack out together for movie nights. They sat down side by side as he offered her to pick something for them, then Raul proceeded to reach for a fluffy blanket that was thrown on the corner of the sofa. When he turned back to her she still looked a bit lost, so he offered to put on a show he knew was her favorite, and she just nodded in response. Y/N was too nervous to do anything wrong that would push him back into being his closed off distant self, and she knew she looked ridiculous all tense and barely breathing by his side. 

Raul noticed her stiffness right away and decided to turn off the lights hoping this would make her relax even a little bit. And as the episode progressed he noticed she was getting more and more loose. An hour later, in the middle of the second episode, he felt her leaning closer to him, probably searching for a bit more warmth, so he lifted his arm to rest on the back of the couch and to make room for her in case she wanted. It only took a couple more minutes for her to be basically leaning most of her weight on him, and when her arm slipped, she fell mostly laying on his chest. And as soon as Y/N was ready to start apologizing, Raul shushed her softly, asking her to relax and pulling the covers up both of their bodies, and so she did.

He didn’t notice he was falling asleep until he woke up many hours later with the sound of voices downstairs from his brothers. Raul looked down at his chest to find Y/N cuddled to him, sound asleep as his arm wrapped around her waist held her still. He took a deep breath and almost chose not to wake her and just go back to sleep, to deal with the stiffness due to the sitting position he held and the consequences of sleeping there with her in the morning. At least until he heard the door cracking open slowly and Shawn’s head popping in. 

“Are you two okay?” his brother whispered as he noticed the girl asleep on the couch, and to that Raul nodded in response, afraid to wake her up “take her upstairs to your room, dude, Mike will find out you like her sooner or later and he’ll deal with it, just don’t let her sleep on the couch”

Raul sighed and nodded. Shawn bid his goodnight and closed the door with a soft click. Peter, Shawn and his mom were the only ones to know about his mating situation, and he liked it better that way. They tried convincing him to tell her at least, but they understood that maybe it wasn’t the right time just yet and let him decide what to do with his feelings. 

So he ended up taking his brothers suggestion and as gently as he could, he rearranged the girl in his arms to he could carry her upstairs to his bedroom. Y/N grumbled softly in protest, nuzzling her face further on his neck as she quieted down. Raul had to stop himself from cooing at her. As he walked out into the bright hallway she mumbled something unintelligible before calling his name.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here, it’s just me” he whispered as they walked into his room, before placing a kiss to her hair, gently lowering her to his mattress. 

Y/N slowly opened her eyes “Raul? I’m sorry, I fell asleep on you” she mumbled quietly. 

“It’s okay, just thought a bed would be a better place for you to sleep other than the couch” he said standing up to his full height and bringing the covers up her body “that’s why I brought you to my room”

“Thank you” she said grabbing his hand and he just nodded at her with a gentle grin on his lips “why are you up?”

“I’m going to crash downstairs on the movie room” he stated caressing the back of her hand with his thumb and she started shaking her hand. 

Her hold on him tightened “No, not a chance, I’m not taking you out of your bed for you to sleep on the couch, please stay here with me, please”

And how could he possibly say no to her looking so sleepy and so sweet?

He breathed a chuckle with a nod “just let me change first, do you need a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of what you’re wearing?”

“Yes please” she murmured feeling a bit embarrassed for making him do all of this for her.

And as if he could read his mind “Don’t look at me as if you’re being a headache, yeah? It’s okay, sweetheart, let me just grab you some clothes” he squeezed her hand before letting go of it in favor of picking up what he promised.

He came back from his closet in only a pair of sweats and a thin white t-shirt, a similar paring folded in his hands for her. She got up to change on his bathroom as he climbed on his bed, trying to contain the excitement of the prospect of having the girl he’s been fond of for over two years, the possible love of his life. Y/N quickly returned in his clothes, following suit and diving under the covers, laying on her side away from him as he stayed on his back, trying to control his breathing after turning off the lights. A few minutes passed and he’s sure she was asleep, the room dark enough so he could only see the silhouette of her body by the faint glow of the moon seeping through his curtains. But then he heard the soft rustle of his sheets as she turned to face him, and he only turned his face on the pillow to properly look at her. 

“Can I ask you something?” she whispered almost as if she was afraid to break the comfortable silence that fell over them. 

Raul hummed in response “anything you want” his voice a soft and raspy tone, making her shiver slightly. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” her voice barely audible as if she was nervous to ask, or maybe the answer frightened her more. 

“You don’t have to worry about it, you should just rest for now” was his response and she sighed in defeat, nodding her head before facing him away again. 

The clear defeat on her features, despite the darkness was enough to make him regret his words. So Raul turned on his hand, raising a careful hand to caress her exposed bicep. She flinched at first, not expecting his touch, but quickly relaxing to it as he felt goosebumps raise on her skin. He decided to scoot a bit closer almost as if he were testing the waters and she shuffled closer in response. Soon the hand on her arm slid to wrap her waist gently and Y/N sighed happily in return, finally resting her back on his chest. Raul placed a kiss at the top of her head as she melted under his sweet gesture. 

When she was in transition to dreamland, she swears she heard him whisper into her hair, the place he decided to muzzle his face “I’m sorry I made you think I disliked you, Y/N that’s not the case at all” he took a deep breath and she was far to gone to say anything back “You just seemed like you needed me tonight, and I’m sorry if I ever made you think your presence here was unwanted, you’re just too good and I don’t deserve you, sweetheart”

And not knowing if this was true or not, his whispered confessions with that slightly raspy and almost honeyed at the same time voice lulled her completely to sleep. 

                                              -*-

In the weeks prior to that event, neither of them said a thing about that night, not even in an indirect way. Raul barely spoke to his brothers about it, but they already knew what happened, and Y/N didn’t feel like telling Mike would be a genius idea, so she decided against it. And to her disappointment things got back to the old normal, at least for the most part. She felt like Raul was a bit more comfortable around her and didn’t try so much to stay away, but it wasn’t like that day, and it still hunts her that she actually caught a small glimpse of what their relationship could be. But it was also taking its tool on him, that night he slept like a baby and allowed himself to daydream that this could’ve been their reality if things were a bit different.

He woke up that morning pretty early as usual, for his perimeter check, but only this time Y/N was sound asleep on his chest, and maybe he stalled a bit to enjoy her sweet scent a bit more before slowly peeling her off of him and gently laying her back down on the pillows. There was only a bit of resistance in form of a whine but she ended up pulling his pillow to her chest before settling down. It was harder than he thought leaving her on his bed as he quickly changed and jogged downstairs to go on his run, but maybe it was better like this, this way he could run and put his head at ease and actually come up with his next moves. So that’s what Raul did, but as soon as he was back on the house, already in two feet only, she was already wake and preparing something in the kitchen as she chatted with Peter.

Raul leaned on the doorway as he watched her, back on the clothes from last night, talking about her next college project as his brother sipped on his coffee mug, so he cleared his throat not to scare her as he walked in “good morning”

“Morning, Raul, can you keep her company as she eats her breakfast? I actually need to run to Sam’s house to pick up some stuff before he leaves for work” Peter asked, a knowing look on his face as Raul just shrugged it off “thanks, got to go, Y/N, good luck with that sheet!” his brother said before leaving the kitchen completely.

“Hi” she said, eyes trained on the eggs she was making as he stood beside her, his hip leaning on the kitchen counter “would you like some?”

“Sure” he said looking around the room “did you sleep well?”

Y/N’s body visibly stiffened as she cleared her throat before answering “yeah, thank you about last night, by the way”

Raul nodded before changing the subject and seeing her relax at that, knowing it was for the best, mentally deleting the speech he came up with. And that’s where the whole conversation died.

                                              -*-

Months later Raul found himself in an equally as hard situation.

Y/N was spending the weekend at the pack house that was a bit more empty than usual, since a few of the wolves (including Mike) decided to go on a little getaway to run from the cold that was arriving sooner than expected, and since her parents were out of town, his best friend asked if she could stay with them so Y/N wouldn’t be all by herself for four days during the possibility of a storm that was estimated for that weekend. And of course they couldn’t deny it, specially since she was very sweet and everyone loved her.

And tonight was the second night of her in the house and Raul was pacing back and forth on his room, probably about to open a hole on the floor from pacing too much, but he didn’t know what to do. She was downstairs on the living room working on some sort of paper for college and he decided he was going to bed, but as soon as he reached his room, the storm that was expected to happen finally arrived and he literally heard her heart rate speeding up exponentially, but didn’t know how to approach her or even if he should. However, when he heard her curse under her breath when a lightning lit up the whole house he knew he could not do nothing, so he opened the door to his room and basically ran down the stairs. 

As Raul reached the bottom of the stairs, he identified Y/N to be the little ball wrapped up in a fluffy  blanket in the middle of the couch. He took a deep breath before carefully walking towards her, he tried making enough noise so she wouldn’t get caught off guard but not enough to disturb her. But as soon as he reached the side of the couch she looked up at him with wide teared eyes from the little cocoon of blankets she was. Raul physically stopped himself from cooing at her and pulling her to his lap.

Y/N gave him a little sad laugh as she rubbed her eyes harshly “I’m sorry we always end up meeting like this, I must seem like an idiot, right?”

Raul shook his head sitting down beside her “You’re not an idiot, what’s making you so upset?”

She took a deep breath before answering “I guess I’m just tired, and this paper is a bit harder than I thought and I’m actually a bit afraid of storms, and this is all stupid and I-“

“Hey, it’s not stupid, it’s stressful and it’s okay, no one really like storms, they’re dangerous and pretty scary”

“Sure, when you’re five” she said playfully rolling her eyes as he chuckled softly.

“Oh, darling, you know that’s not true”

“Are you scared of storms?” she asked with an arched brow.

“No”

“See?”

Raul chuckled as he shook his head “you’re really something, aren’t you?”

Y/N shrugged as she saved the document before moving to the book she was using as reference “Why are you up if you’re not scared then?”

“You are”

Y/N turned her head in his direction “Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you up”

“You didn’t, I just knew you were afraid and decided to come check on you” he said already regretting admitting to it.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t have to come though, I’m a big girl, I can take it”

Raul gave her his signature lopsided smile that she had only seen a few times directed to her, making her insides a bit toastier than before “I know you can, sweetheart, just didn’t want you to be alone if I could come down and try to help”

“Yeah, that’s the Alpha spirit, right?” and with that sentence Raul rested his head on the back of the sofa with a laugh. 

“Maybe” Raul turned his head to face her, deciding he was going to ignore the whole ‘pushing her away’ speech, at least for a moment “I was thinking that maybe we should make some hot chocolates if you want to finish this paper tonight”

“Are you serious?” Y/N had to confirm she wasn’t going mad and that he was actually willingly wanting to spend some time with her.

“Of course I’m serious, you can’t joke about stuff like this”

“What? Hot chocolate?” she asked holding back a laugh.

“Well obviously” he pushed himself up from the couch, relieved to see she seemed distracted enough to forget about the whole weather outside “I’m aces in the kitchen”

Raul offered her his hand and she smiled at him shaking her head before closing her computer and pushing it aside, taking his outstretched hand and letting him pull her up carefully “well, how did I just find that out?”

“Because I’m normally too tired and busy most of the time to actually make a meal”

She noticed he didn’t let go of her, and she wasn’t going to be the one to do it or point that out “oh yeah, being the Alpha and bossing everyone around must take a lot of your time and energy”

Raul chuckled as he walked her to the kitchen, letting go of her hand against his will in favor of grabbing the ingredients “Mike’s a bad influence, I bet his the one who told you that”

“You certainly didn’t, we barely talk at all” and as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted it. 

Raul was with his back facing her as he sorted through the stuff to prepare their drinks, and she was ready to start apologizing, afraid he was going to push her out all over again. Why did she have to go and say something like that? As much as the mood between them was playful, mostly cause he was trying to distract her and she knew it, but it was light and fun, she had to say such thing and ruin it. Sometimes things felt so natural with him that she just forgets that they aren’t that close. But before she could freak out and start spitting strings of ‘I’m sorry’ he did something Y/N wasn’t expecting. Raul started laughing out loud, turning to face her and she ended up laughing as well, maybe out of nervousness or out of relief, either way she laughed.

“I deserved that” he pointed out “but I guess that will have to change since you have such a distorted vision of the Alpha role”

“I wouldn’t particularly mind” she added softly, in hopes he wouldn’t pay much attention to it, but again, Raul was, apparently, a little box of surprises.

“Me neither, darling” he said before turning on the stove.

Y/N felt heat rising up her chest to her face and decided to clear her throat before changing subjects “Who taught you how to cook? Shawn’s a mess in the kitchen, Peter’s good but I know he took lessons”

“I guess I just learned from watching my mom, when I was little I used to spend a lot of my time in the kitchen with her whenever she was using it, my grandma too, and I guess I somehow absorbed that”

“Oh, they’re good?” Y/N took a tentative step closer to him, eager to learn about him and taking the opportunity of his sudden interest in spending time with her to milk all the information she could.

“My mom’s good, but my nan is just fantastic, she told me she used to sit on the counter by her father and watch him, and I guess I did the same”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do the same cause my kitchen experience resumes to making toast, sandwiches and eggs” she said and he looked at her from the corner of his eye as if he was pondering.

“Then do it, I don’t mind a little audience” he said and she giggled, hoping on the counter beside where he stood. 

And that’s how they spent most of their night, with light chatter and a bit of healthy teasing going around and they were ecstatic about it. Y/N felt like she was finally able to relax after all the stress and she felt weirdly complete, almost as if before she was missing a piece. And Raul, he was over the fucking moon and already regretting keeping her away for that long, avoiding every type of contact with her and he was almost telling Mike to piss himself and ignoring all this stupid made up rules he made. He sat down by Y/N’s side as he helped her finish her paper and he was actually able to, finishing it in less than twenty minutes, so they just sat down side by side talking about random stuff, until he noticed she was starting to get sleepier and sleepier with every passing minute. 

“You should go to bed, sweetheart” he pointed as she was basically leaning her weight on his side, not that he minded, but they got really close really fast 

“Already trying to get rid of me?” she joked and he laughed despite being afraid that was something she actually believed in, and maybe that’s what drove him to ask her what he did next.

“Never, and if you’re still a bit nervous about the rain you can sleep in my room, I can always take the couch”

“I can’t kick you out of your bed” she said looking up at him

“You’re not kicking me out, I’m inviting you and offering to stay elsewhere”

Y/N shook her head “I don’t mind sharing if you do”

Raul didn’t expect it, but he also wasn’t mad about it “If you really don’t mind, then yeah”

“Okay, I’m ready for bed if you are” she said grabbing her stuff.

Raul nodded as he helped her to carry her school material up to his room, which he placed on top of his dresser before turning around to face her standing awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Hmm, nothing I just-“ she mumbled as he chuckled.

Raul stopped by the end of his bed “I can still take the couch if you’re uncomfortable”

“It’s not that, you don’t make me uncomfortable” she said as she walked up to him “I don’t know what it is, I just feel safe around you, is it weird?”

Raul was not expecting it as he looked down at her “No, not at all, you can climb on the bed, darling” he offered as he did the same on his side.

She ended up taking up on his offer and laying down on the other side, pulling the covers up her body “you can be really sweet when you want to, you know?” she mumbled softly after a while, after the lights were already off and the only source of light in the room was coming from the lamp on his bedside table.

Raul said turning to face her, only to find Y/N already on her side facing him “Don’t think many think the same”

Y/N laughed and shook her head “guess you’re just good at pretending you’re this big bad Alpha when you’re just a big softie”

Raul laughed throwing his head back and she couldn’t stop herself from admiring the sound, his neck and his beautiful face, looking a lot more soft than normally.

“I really like your laugh” she blurted out before she could think. 

His laugh was cut short when he realized her words and he smiled at her “I like yours, wish I could hear it more often”

“Well, it’s not really hard to get me to laugh”

Raul smiled at her “yeah, hm- I wanted to apologize”

“For what?” she asked, genuine curiosity shining on her eyes.

“For being a dick to you, for such a long time, there’s not an excuse for that, as much as I tried to come up with one” he finally admitted running his hands through his curls. 

Y/N bit her lower lip as she looked at him “you’re never a dick to me, you’re a bit closed off, yeah, but never a dick, you never made me feel uncomfortable or anything like that, and ever since that night where you made it clear you didn’t dislike me, a few things started making more sense to me”

“Like what?” it was his turn to get confused.

She sighed heavily “I thought for a very long time you just hated my guts or didn’t want me near for being a human or an outsider, but then you said it wasn’t the case and you were so sweet to me that night, and the morning after, and ever since that day, even though you weren’t necessarily cuddling with me and being around me all the time, you were slowly opening up, spending more time around me when I was here and at first I was confused, but then yesterday I was talking to Peter and he may or may not have told me this was something to do with Mike”

“What?” Raul almost sat up, but he didn’t want her to stop talking, so he held back his impulse and just kept laying down.

“And I also talked to my mom about it, very recently, and she said my dad had a similar reaction to her when he found out they’re mates… I’m not implying anything, and I can be totally wrong about it, but I thought about it for a second and I swear it made sense, it explained why I felt so drawn to you since I first laid eyes on you” she admitted, coiling into herself a bit.

Raul was completely taken back, not knowing what to do or what to say, not expecting her to come into realization and not knowing how to proceed, that until she mumbled a soft “please say something, anything, just don’t shut me off again”

“No, darling, it’s not that, I’m sorry” he said reaching for her hand as grabbing it in his “I’m just speechless, I- you feel it too?”

“Is it true?”

“I- yes” he sighed in relief.

“You’re my mate?! Or I’m yours, I’m sorry, I don’t know how this works” she giggled nervously.

Raul couldn’t stop his smile to blossom on his lips as he nodded his head what felt like a thousand times “whatever you want, I don’t mind”

“So what does that mean now?” she said shuffling closer to him.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, I know your brother wouldn’t appreciate the idea and I don’t want to hurt you or cause any pain, darling, I just want what’s best for you” Raul said squeezing her hand gently.

“You could never hurt me, and I don’t honestly care about what Mike thinks right now” she said placing a hand on his chest “what do you want?”

“Honestly?” he asked and she nodded eagerly, which made him chuckle “you, in any way you’ll have me, but I also don’t want to rush you into anything, this works differently for me since I’m a wolf”

“Yeah, I know how sensitive you guys can be” she joked and he laughed, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead “but I want you, I feel the pull to have you near me almost as a need”

“I know, sweetheart, I feel the same way” Raul admitted pulling her closer by her waist “just don’t want to skip any steps with you, but I kept you away long enough”

Y/N nodded tipping her head back to look at his beautiful face better, their noses brushing due to the proximity “agreed, but I still want you close”

“We’re already close, darling” he breathed a chuckled and she shook her head.

“Are you afraid of kissing me? What are you? Twelve?” she teased and he laughed, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Of course not” he whispered leaning a bit closer.

“Then what’s taking you so long?”

“Bossy little thing” he teased one more time before closing the space between them in a gentle kiss.

Y/N tangled her fingers in his wild curls as he cupped her jaw carefully, afraid that if he squeezed her even a tiniest bit she was going to disappear. But his gentle touches soon turned into a bit more urgent ones and she pulled his hair, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. Raul tighten his hand on her waist, trapping her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it to him softly before lessening the sting with a swipe of his tongue. And unfortunately Y/N had to pull away too soon for her liking due to her stupid lungs needing oxygen. Raul leaned in to press a bunch of soft, barely there, kisses all over her face. 

She giggled a bit breathlessly as she murmured “Mike will murder me when he finds out”

“Shh, we can worry about that when he’s back, he’ll have to get over it eventually”

Y/N giggled before leaning in for one more kiss.

“Okay, love, we really should sleep, and then tomorrow I can maybe take you on a date if you want” he said pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before resting his forehead on hers.

Y/N smiled up at him “Or we can have a little movie marathon here and you’ll make me dinner”

Raul laughed “you’re a mean one, you know that?”

“Why?”

“Because you know I can’t say no to you” he said and she smiled at him.

“Good boy, you’re such a good puppy” Y/N teased and he laughed.

Raul shook his head “okay, it’s definitely time for you to go to bed”

                                                -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[thekillingmoonmoon]

GUNS AND ROSES

This is part of @nkogneatho​ ‘s VULNERABLE COLLAB - be sure to check out the other works participating 💜

Pairing: Toji x Fem!Reader (this does take place in the Born To Die AU, but can be read on its own)

Synopsis: It had been so long that you had forgotten, the tiny fear that lurked at the back of your memories, idling its time until it could roar back to life. But now you can remember, remember the heart-racing gut-wrenching fear, remember how weak and helpless it rendered you. All in the middle of a mission with Toji.

Afterwards, Toji suggests a way to dispel your fear- by rewriting your memories with new ones of him.

Warnings: NSFW, smut, dom/sub dynamics, light bondage, sensory play, little bit of impact play, Mental Health Warning: Descriptions of a panic attack, claustrophobia, referenced child abuse/neglect, Toji has no idea what therapy is, but he means well - consider this Toji’s version of Neural Pathway Remapping or whatever, Reader uses Toji like a weighted blanket (is this based on personal experience...mayhaps)

Length: 6,2k

AO3

*MINORS DO NOT INTERACT*

“out of all the others,

you were the honest man.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Is now really the time?” you glanced at Toji, huffing as you pushed cursed energy to your legs, the pair of you hurtling down the dark corridors of the Kamo clan’s underground storage warehouse. The package thumped against Toji’s back, some ancient weapon you’d been hired to ‘retrieve’ from a musty room deep in the catacomb’s of one of the oldest jujutsu shrines in Japan.

“Yes or no, pest?” Toji threw a wary look over his shoulder, grimacing at the distant thud of your pursuers echoing through the warehouse. If you could hear them, they could hear you.

“Yes, I fucking trust you, Toji!” you panted, struggling to keep up with his inhuman speed, “now, whatever you’re planning on doing, you better do it now!”

Toji choked a gasp from the depths of your chest, his thick forearm swinging around your ribs and throwing you from your feet to over his shoulder. You began to hiss his name, that you could run on your own – but you found yourself dropped to your feet and shoved through a narrow gap. Toji charged in behind you, the weapon now clutched to his chest. Then, with a click and a thunk, you were coated in thick darkness.

You couldn’t see even an inch in front of you, the syrupy blackness of where you were contained oozing around you, leaving you breathless and blinking. Wherever Toji had hidden you, it was small. Something cold and metallic dug into the small of your back, your spine flush against a wall. Toji’s body was tight against yours, and you could feel his muscles shift and ripple as he adjusted himself. He lowered the cylindrical package to lean between his legs and exhaled slowly.

“Where are we?” you breathed, hoping that Toji’s enhanced hearing would catch your words.

“Utility closet? I think? Dunno, saw it in the blueprints. Now, shut up, and get rid of your energy,” he whispered back, and you nodded in the dark, dispelling your cursed energy until the pair of you blended into the surrounding environment. You were so close that your forehead bumped into him, and you leaned your head back against the wall to avoid his cloying warmth.

Light. Think of light. Of the glaring whiteness of the subway station on the way home, of the golden flicker of a candle on a windowsill in your flat, of the flashing kaleidoscope of a sign above the bar you always went to after a job. You thought of the spit of fire and the orange glow of Toji’s lighter, and the sputtering lightbulb above his bathroom sink. The passing of car headlights on the wall at night, the gradual ignition of lights as evening fell over the city. Light. Air. Freedom.

Normally, you would have made a funny quip, about finding colleagues in broom closets during work hours, but you were too busy holding off an impending wave of panic. Toji covered your mouth with a large hand, and your stomach dropped even further into anxiety.

Fuck, you thought you’d gotten past this stage, that with age came the loss of your childhood fears, but that was clearly not the case. Your ribs felt like iron, and with every breath you inhaled the darkness, the pitch black covering and clinging to your skin with prickling, cold fingers. Your arms were pinned to your sides, and your feet were pressed together by Toji’s. You couldn’t move. Fuck.

“Quit it!” Toji spat, and your eyes flashed open. To darkness. To nothing.

“What?”

“Whatever you’re doing, quit it. We’ll be out of here soon, stop squirming.”

You frowned,

“But I haven’t moved?”

“What? Of course, you are – Fuck, you’re still doing it. And breathe normally, damnit!” he grumped. You silently scanned through your body. You were shaking, violently. And hyperventilating.

“Um, old man?”

“What?”

“I’m having a panic attack,” you said, as calmly as possible. But there was no denying it. You were deafened by the thud of the blood in your veins, and all you could breathe was liquid. Thick clogging shadow choked you out, and your limbs twitched. You were vaguely aware of tears rolling down your cheeks. Toji’s voice was distant, soft curses pouring from invisible lips as he shifted in the closed space.

His broad palm claimed the back of your head, squashing your face into Toji’s chest as the other arm slithered up your back to hold you as tightly to him as possible.

“That okay, pest?” he murmured into your hair, his strength holding your body still, the steady beat of his heart rumbling through your bones.

“Focus on my breath, yeah?” you nodded into him, breathing in and releasing with him. Toji’s breaths were shorter than yours, you’d realised after countless sleepless nights trying to match his respiratory pattern. It was probably the long years of smoking, you’d supposed, but right now you were grateful. Eventually, your gasps evened out to match his breath, and your mind had cleared somewhat. Toji was leaning toward the door, listening.

“Can you sense anything?”

“Nah, you?” he asked. You hummed, feeling out for any cursed energy. Besides the cursed weapon at your feet, your surroundings were empty.

“Clear.”

Toji began to fiddle with the door latch, silently sliding the bolt back and clicking it open. He paused, and you could feel him shift back to look at you.

“You good? Think you can run?”

You took a deep breath and bounced on your toes. Good. Nothing had decided to go to sleep or have a panic attack of its own.

“Yeah. Lead the way, partner.”

And then, like shadows, you and Toji slid soundlessly through the maze, avoiding any possible threat until you re-emerged at the surface, blinking in the bright dawn sunlight.

…

“You gonna tell me what happened in there today, sweetheart?” Toji tapped the ash of his cigarette into the bar’s ashtray, green eyes watching you intently from their cat-like corners.

You hummed into a sip of whisky, and the ice clinked as you returned your glass to the countertop.

You’d almost forgotten this morning. Almost. There was still a tightness in your chest. And now, tucked away in your usual corner of the bar, with your usual drink, and the usual noise buzzing around the pair of you, you felt a bit stupid about what had happened earlier.

Thankfully, the rest of the job had gone off without a hitch. You’d delivered the package to the clients, and received an extra wad of cash for getting the job done so quickly. You examined your whisky. It should have been a symbol of victory, not a consolation prize for having a nervous break in the middle of a mission.

“’m sorry,” you mumbled, unsure of how to answer. Toji tutted,

“Don’t apologise, pest. It happened, ‘sorry’ doesn’t change that. I wanna know why it happened,” he gave you a hard stare, and you gulped.

“It won’t happen again.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

You groaned, and let your head fall into your hands.

“It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”

“That’s for fucking sure,” Toji grouched, and you frowned at him through your fingers.

“You’re not meant to agree, old man.”

“But it’s true. As your partner, I need to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours,” he reached over and gave your temple a harsh flick and, ignoring your yelp, continued, “and that means fucking everything, doll. And you’re a fool if you think that keeping this from me is a good idea.”

Damn him. Damn him for being right. You sighed.

“Fine. But if you’re gonna laugh at me, do it when I’m not around, okay?”

Toji raised a brow at you, then clinked his glass against yours in affirmation.

You leaned back on your barstool, carefully examining the bedraggled ceiling as you searched for the right words. You cleared your throat,

“I was scared of the dark, or am scared at the dark? Still? I don’t know. It’s been a long fucking time since I’ve had an attack like that. I honestly thought I’d grown out of them.”

Toji shifted to face his body toward you, resting his head on his hand with his elbow on the countertop. His cheek was squished where his knuckles pushed against his face, rendering his frown into a somewhat comical expression that had you biting back a small chuckle. He motioned for you to continue, tilting his head to send a soft cloud of cinnamon smoke into the murky pub air.

“So, um, before my dad died, we lived with the clan at the family home, right?” Toji nodded, “and when my technique manifested, or didn’t, the elders were obviously upset,” Toji mumbled something beneath his breath, and you found yourself agreeing wholeheartedly to his muttered curse upon bigoted jujutsu families. “Of course,” you continued, “this meant that my mother and I were treated like horseshit, and we were separated. She was sent to go live in some shed on the edge of the property, and I was told to sleep with the servants. Only the servants didn’t want to share a room with me. So every night, the bastards tied me up, gagged me, and locked me in their linen closet without any light,” you ended with a shrug. Toji’s face remained neutral. You understood, though. From the little he’d shared with you, he’d experienced far worse under the Zen’ins’ ‘care’.

…

“How old were you?”

You scrunched your nose in thought.

“Well, I was about three when my technique manifested, and I was, like, ten when my family moved.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit,” you motioned for the bartender to bring you another round, hoping that Toji found your answer satisfactory.

“So it’s actually three fears in one, huh?”

You raised your eyebrows at him.

“It’s being restrained, gagged,” he held up two fingers, “and being in pitch darkness, right?” he counted off another finger. You shrugged, and Toji grunted in thought. Whatever.

Your shared silence was broken by the arrival of your drinks, and you were spared from any further questioning due to the bartender asking Toji about the latest results at the racetrack.

“Do you trust me?”

“Now why are you asking?” you rolled over to look at Toji, who was standing in the bedroom doorway, his hands stuffed in his sweatpants’ pockets. He approached your bed, where you lay atop the covers, an open book on your chest.

“It ain’t a difficult question, doll.”

“It is when you’re asking, Toji. How many women have you scammed using that line?” you gave him a sly smile. His hand flew to his chest, and he faked pain,

“Ouch, sweetheart. I’ll have you know that my ‘sponsors’ were always well compensated for their ‘donations’.”

“Compensated with what? Dirty laundry?” you squinted at him and he smirked.

“This, of course,” Toji grabbed his clothed cock, and you rolled your eyes.

“Of course, how could I forget that you were basically an overpaid gigolo?”

“Please, doll. You know you can’t put a price on the way I fuck, especially the way I fuck you,” Toji’s mouth slid into his signature grin, and you tried to ignore the twitch of tension in your lower belly. Toji seated himself at the edge of the mattress, scarred and suntanned back toward you.

“But in all seriousness, do you trust me?” he asked again, this time, his voice was even,  the playful tone gone. You marked your page and put your book aside, before crawling over to him. You trailed your fingers over the warmth of his skin, sitting up on your knees to lean your chest against him, your chin resting on his bare shoulder.

“I trust you with my life, old man. Else what the fuck is this for?” you stretched over to poke at the tattoo on his left pectoral, the black ink spelling out your battle vow to one another. He grabbed your offending hand by the wrist, giving you a disgruntled grumble as he looked at you sideways.

“I’m not asking about the job. I’m asking about you, and if you fucking trust me,” his jaw was tight, but his eyes were soft. You nodded, careful not to break this moment of sudden intimacy, of this intense eye contact, of the feeling of his palm pressing your hand to his chest, right above his heart.

“I trust you with everything, Toji,” you whispered, eyes searching his. He nodded slowly. He slipped your arms from his frame and stood to face you, towering over you, his hands back in his pockets. You stared up into his eyes, a slight shiver running through your body as the green of his eyes darkened, and his posture stiffened.

“Good. Then,” his voice had dropped, low and rasping, “Undress. Now.”

You could feel your jaw drop slightly, followed by the automatic obedience of your limbs in removing yourself from the bed and stripping yourself of your threadbare sleepwear. Toji sauntered up to you, his gaze heady as he examined you. You kept your hands to your sides and your head down. You made to kneel, but Toji caught your chin between his fingers, keeping you standing, directing your gaze to him. You shuddered beneath the weight of his observation of you, keeping your eyes averted whilst your skin rippled into gooseflesh at the cold of the room.

“Look at me.”

 You obeyed, swallowing down your anticipation.

“You have two choices, either we do as I have planned and we go further than we have before, or we do this the way we normally do. It’s your choice,” Toji spoke steadily, evenly, his face terrifyingly neutral. You blinked at him in confusion,

“Can you tell me what you have planned, please, Toji?”

He leaned down and brushed his lips across yours, smiling as you tried to chase his kiss. He pressed his cheek to yours, and began to murmur in your ear.

“I want to tie you up, sweetheart. Tie you up so that every fucking inch of you, every fucking inch of my pretty little whore, is under my control, kay? You do not move unless I fucking want you to, understand?” you found yourself nodding, Toji continued, still not touching you, despite your fidgeting, “And I’m gonna gag you, stuff that pretty mouth full so that you can’t make a sound, yeah?” he paused, listening to catch in your breath, before finishing, “and then I’m going to cover your eyes, make sure you can’t see a fucking thing. Do you wanna know why I want to do this to you? Do you wanna know what I wanna do with you once I’ve got you all nice and set up for me?”

You took in a deep breath, calming the rapid drum of your heart. Toji pulled up to his full height, watching as you sorted through your thoughts, your brow scrunched in concentration. This was obviously about your attack. Did he want to recreate it? Did he want to push you into another attack, maybe sit and watch whilst you struggled? No. Toji was a sadist, sure. You of all people should know that. But he wasn’t a psychopath. You decided to indulge him.

…

“What do you want to do with me, Toji?”

His lips twitched upward, pleased.

He leaned in, forehead against yours, his breath fanning over your lips.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard that the next time we get thrown into a dark corner you’re gonna be fucking begging for my cock, that pretty pussy all soaked at the thought of what I can do to you when you’re under my control,” he observed you closely, noting the subtle heave of your chest, the way your thighs shifted against each other.

“You want to rewrite my memories?” you posited, and Toji grunted.

“Sorta,” he grinned, “I also just wanna see you crying for me to fuck you, all tied up and helpless.” You mock-sighed and swatted his chest.

“You’re a pervert, a sadistic pervert,” you grumbled. Toji laughed.

“And you fucking love it, don’t you, sweetheart?”

You rolled your eyes, heart thrumming. Half anxious. Half eager.

You focussed on your heartbeat, on the quick, yet even, thrum of your blood rushing through your veins. You didn’t do this often. Toji much preferred your body loose and limp, to throw around and manhandle as he pleased. You clenched your digits, making sure your blood flowed freely in your extremities. You breathed rhythmically, keeping silent count as you attempted to keep yourself calm. Toji reappeared, climbing onto the bed to straddle your hips. You bit your lip, drinking in the sight above you. Toji was a statue of living gold, his torso coated in a dusting of freckles and white lightning scars. You eyed the uniform circle of pale skin that carved into his chest, a bitter reminder of the Plasma Star and Toji’s terrifyingly close brush with death.

“Knock twice for ‘no,’ once for ‘yes’?” you repeated, staring up at Toji. He nodded.

“That’s it,” he grabbed your free arm and stretched it to the bedpost, “that good?”

You knocked once with your knuckles, your other wrist already bound to the opposite side of the bed. Toji smirked, and leaned down to drop a wet kiss to your forehead.

“Good girl.”

You hummed at the praise and gave your bindings an experimental tug. You had to admit, Toji was good with ropes. You had just enough slack to be comfortable, to move your hands to reach the wood of the bedpost, yet you were completely immobile. Toji fiddled with your feet and ankles, spreading your legs to fasten them to the bottom of the bed.

“Move,” he ordered. You tested each restraint. Secure. Steady. Toji grunted in approval and returned to rummaging around in his cupboards.

“What you thinking, babygirl?” Toji probed, unravelling a length of tee shirt cotton, his muscles rippling beneath the sunlight of his skin.

“Nothing much. Just that you’re handsome,” you said airily, then added, “for an old man.”

Toji slapped your bare tit.

“Watch your fucking mouth, pest, else I might not let you take off this gag ever again,” he grumbled, tangling another length of fabric into a neat knot.

You lifted your head from the mattress, licking your lips one last time before dropping your jaw for Toji. He slotted the knot past your lips, your teeth, resting it on your tongue as he fastened it at the back of your neck.

“Ready, sweetheart?” he rasped, velvet kindness layered beneath his normal gravel of smoke and whisky. You knocked once. He nodded.

Darkness. The blindfold was soft, the material worn and faded. Toji had doubled the layers, secured just off centre from where your skull met the mattress. You closed your eyes beneath the fabric, sinking into the dark. Toji checked on you again, and you received a peck to the cheek when you knocked diligently in reply. The pressure over your hips disappeared, as did the warmth of his body. Instinctively, you reached out with your cursed energy, seeking, searching, trying to find the void of his form, for the uncomfortable energy vacuum he inhabited.

Toji slapped you hard across the tit.

“Stop that. I can smell your fucking energy looking for me,” he commanded. You obeyed, releasing the strands of energy from your body, untethering yourself from reality, from Toji.

It felt wrong, truly. To not feel the muffled emptiness of Toji’s frame in your world, to not have an anchor to the thrum of his life, his heart. You floated, cloaked in pitch, the only sensations tying you to reality being the ropes and the crumpled sheets beneath your body. You wondered if you were making a mistake.

Of course, Toji had trained your senses, taught you to cycle through them in a rhythm, first heightening one and then another. Sight and taste gone, cursed energy forbidden, you had no choice but to focus on your hearing.

Toji was at the base of the bed, his heartbeat steady and breathing deep. You listened to him open and close his drawers, followed by the sharp zing of a zipper being undone. You frowned and willed yourself to keep your eyes shut. You listened to yourself, keeping your body in a lull.  You felt Toji move around you, and you prepared yourself for contact.

Nothing. Then, Toji licked a hot, wet stripe along your throat, startling you, setting your skin alight. The bed swayed as Toji rolled his body over yours, his breath warm against your flesh, his scent present in your nose. He sat between your legs, knees knocking your thighs apart. You could feel his eyes on you, flickering over your body, over your soul. Blood rushed to your skin and you flushed, still embarrassed at being so exposed in front of him.

Toji kissed the space between your breasts, sudden and quick, before covering your tits with his hands. He moved roughly, swiping his thumb over your nipples and rolling them between his fingers. You let out a garbled gasp, tongue wrapped around the knot in your mouth. You arched your back into his touch, all thoughts concentrated on the rhythm of his hands, the feel of his skin on yours. His weight shifted, and Toji’s mouth closed over your breast, teeth bare and biting into the soft skin. Your breath hitched, the pain rippling through your chest, followed by hot pleasure as he ran his tongue over the bite. He kept at it, lathing your tit in licks and bites, sucking marks into the flesh. You keened from the back of your throat, and your inner thighs began to grow wet with arousal. Toji migrated to your other breast, giving it the same treatment. You shivered as your kiss-covered skin grew cold, whining as Toji retreated.

“Such pretty tits,” Toji murmured, half to himself, “so fucking sensitive.”

He trailed his calloused fingers over your skin, across your abdomen to your hips, which shifted needily against his palms. His warmth scorched you, your sense of touch heightened. You chased the heat of his palms as he groped you, grabbing and rubbing at the fat of your hips. Toji did that often, tugging you against his body and helping himself to a handful of your curves, kissing away your complaints. In the stillbirth of the morning, in the time where he’d twitch and mumble in his sleep, when you’d wake him with a tentative poke or a more violent pinch, that was when he craved you the most. He’d peel your clothes from your skin, pull you flush to his chest and touch you, feel you. Most times this would end with a snuffle to the back of your neck and a heavy arm securing you to him. Yet sometimes, on the few occasions where he’d shout himself awake, he’d fuck you both back to sleep, hips slowly rocking into your heat, hands exploring every inch of your body. Reassuring you. Reassuring himself.

His palms came down on your thighs, not hard enough to sting, but sudden enough to startle you back into the room,  your body. Toji spread your legs further apart, running his knuckles along your soft inner thighs. You gasped as he dragged a finger up your cunt, his fingertip catching at your needy entrance then stimulating your clit.

“Fuck, doll. You’re so wet for me, hmm? You like being tied up like this? Like being spread out like a whore?” Toji traced slow circles around your clit, never touching the bud, only stimulating the silken tissue around it. You felt your arousal slip past your folds down to your ass, your mind growing hazier by the minute. Your thighs tensed against the ropes and your spine lifted from the bed. You moaned around your gag, a high-pitched whimper that caused Toji to pause.

“What is it, sweetheart? You want more?” he sneered, purposefully slowing his movements until they were barely perceptible. Tears bloomed beneath your eyelids, soaking into the blindfold.

“Too fucking bad, You get what I fucking give you, babygirl, and right now, this is all I’m offering.” Toji tapped against your clit and you gave him a meek nod, striving to still your restless legs as you focussed on the whispered friction Toji gave your clit, your empty cunt clenching. Gradually, Toji increased his ministrations, alternating between dipping his finger inside you and playing with your clit. Your breathing quickened, and you could hear your blood barrel through your veins. You wished you could see him, hold him, tell him what you were feeling, but you remained still, and silent. Or, as silent as you could be, little whimpers and keen slipping past your lips, followed by an open-mouthed cry as Toji finally, finally pushed his finger into your aching cunt. He grunted at the way your walls gripped him, all velvet warmth and desperation. He pressed deep into your pussy, familiar with your body, where your pleasure lay. He stroked your cunt lazily, rendering you a wet mess around his finger, only made worse by the casual swipe of his thumb over your clit.

You swam in a daze, all your attention on Toji’s intoxicating touch, every cell in your body tuned to him, to the pleasure he granted you. Your whole body shuddered when he breached your entrance with a second finger, muscles tight and stinging. Toji’s free hand slapped against your thigh.

“Relax, pretty thing. If your slutty little pussy can’t take my fingers, how the fuck do you think it’s gonna take my cock, hah?” he plunged his fingers back into you and you bit down on the gag, gooseflesh erupting across your skin. Toji’s thumb pressed harder onto your clit, rubbing white heat through your core, static through your bloodstream.

“Or do you even want my cock, sweetheart?” you nodded vigorously, letting your legs fall slack on either side of Toji’s thighs. Gradually, you loosened around him, your cunt taking his fingers in a heavy squelch, the sound echoing around your ears. You could the tension grow tighter in your stomach, goaded by Toji’s even pace and relentless thumb. Your core curled in on itself, building and building into a dense source of heat. Your cries sang louder, and Toji felt your walls clamp around him. You were close.

“You gonna cum, babygirl? You gonna cum for me?” you babbled around your gag, limbs twitching as the pressure in your stomach intensified. Toji pinched and rolled your clit, his fingers steady in their rhythm. You came, hard. Your body fought between the urge to arch into the sheer hot pleasure or wrap yourself around it. You wrestled the restraints, incoherent and crying as jolts of blinding light shot through your limbs. Toji coaxed you with his fingers until you squirmed beneath his touch, overstimulated. His hand left, and you heard the slurp of him sucking your essence from his fingers. Your core twitched in response. You still shivered, body warm and pliable. You fell into a dreamlike haze, waiting for Toji, for the thorough fucking to come.

Except it didn’t.

The room was silent, the bed still.

Toji was gone.

You strained against your ropes, lifting your head to listen for him. All you could hear was your own heartbeat, hard and fast, and your breathing, quick and shallow.

You were alone. In the dark. Voiceless. Restrained.

Fuck.

You clung to the sensation of the ropes against your skin, the sheet beneath your back, the cloth over your face. You counted up to twenty and back down again. Your breath became sharp and short, your sense of touch growing fuzzier and fuzzier the more you tried to focus. You were panicking.

You knocked against the bedpost. Twice.

Then again.

Your body no longer trembled from pleasure but anxiety. Your skin was cold and you were beginning to feel numb.

You burst into a series of knocks, arranged in sets of two. No. No. No.

“Doll? ‘s that you?” Toji’s voice trickled from the doorway. Your knocking became frantic.

“Shit. Okay, okay,” Toji hissed, growing closer until you could hear him, “I’m here, sweetheart, I’m here.” Deft fingers undid the gag, and you snatched at the air in gasps.

“Yellow,” you panted, “I’m yellow.”

“No shit, doll. What do you need?” Toji rubbed his hands up and down your arms, soothing, present.

“Lie on top of me,” you blurted out, suddenly fully aware of what you wanted, what you needed.

“Hah?”

“Lie on top of me,” you repeated, “I need your bodyweight to ground me, to feel real.” You felt the bed dip around you, and the radiated heat of Toji’s body brush over you.

“Like, on me, Toji,” you prodded, trying to control your breath, “you know, like a cat?”

Toji huffed, and lay his body over yours at a glacial pace, finally laying his forehead against yours. He still held most of his weight off you on his forearms, but you sank into the comforting pressure of him, of his solidness.

“This good?” he grunted, “do you want to see?”

You inhaled deeply, attention solely on the way Toji felt, on his heartbeat reverberating through your chest, on his skin on yours, on the tickle of his hair on your face. You needed this, needed the weight of him. You exhaled, still shaky, but slowly gathering yourself back together.

“Yeah, it’s working. Leave the blindfold, I need to get over this bullshit properly,” you mumbled. Toji dropped his head to tuck it into your shoulder.

“So another attack, huh?” he asked. You nodded.

“Yeah,” you gulped, “where’d you go?”

Toji tapped the bedside table.

“Water, for after.”

“Mm.”

You lay like that for a few minutes, bodies pressed close. You nuzzled into Toji’s neck, absorbing the scent of him. He was comforting, probably in the same way a pet wolf was comforting. He was a killer, his body honed by instinct, experience and raw strength, yet, with his heart thumping against yours, he grounded you, gave you a sense of reality. A slumbering beast. Your slumbering beast. Your breathing evened out, longer and deeper than Toji’s. You wiggled underneath him.

“You still awake there, old man?”

“Mostly. You okay?”

You scanned your body. You were pumping with adrenaline, but you were calm.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you paused, “green.” Toji’s cock was still hard and heavy on your thigh, fighting the constraints of his sweatpants. He sat up, once again nudging your legs apart to kneel between them. He regarded you with quiet gravity, green eyes soaking in your form, your pouted lips, your glowing skin. He slipped off the bed, and this time, you kept your breathing level. You heard the rustle of his clothes and smiled to yourself. With the sharp zip of a knife being unsheathed and the whisper of metal against your skin, Toji freed your ankles from the bottom of the bed.

“The gag?” you asked, and got a grumble in return. Your body lifted off the mattress as Toji threw his body over you, arms caging you in and thighs coming down between your legs. His mouth captured yours in a hungry kiss, biting your bottom lip to push his tongue into your mouth. You keened into him, mumbling his name as his lips nipped down your neck to your collarbones.

“No fucking way,” Toji pressed his lips to yours again, “wanna hear you, babygirl.”  You arched up against him and rocked your hips, empty, needy. Toji’s cock slapped your thigh, smearing precum across the skin. You bit your lip, wishing you could touch him, hold his throbbing length in your hand.

“What’s it, doll? You want something?” his body pulled away from yours, coaxing out a whine.

“To-ji-,” you keened, “please, please fuck me,” you were suddenly very glad you couldn’t see. Knowing Toji, a smug smirk would be painted across his face, melting you further under his spell. Rough hands grabbed your calves and you felt the span of Toji’s torso along the back of your legs as he hoisted your ankles over his shoulders.

“You want my cock, sweetheart? You want to cum on my cock?” Toji tipped over you, your knees pushed up against your chest, his cock resting just above your waiting cunt.

“Yes!” you squeaked as he thrusted against you, running his length through your folds, covering his cock in your slick, “please, Toji,” his tip brushed over your clit and you shuddered.

“Please,” you gulped, “want your cock. Please, Toji,” even blindfolded, you found yourself tucking your face to one side, the feel of Toji’s eyes on your skin palpable.

Toji tapped his cock to your clit, then positioned the tip at your entrance.

“Fine,” he huffed, “whore.”

Toji bottomed out in one deep thrust, pulling a strangled yelp from your throat that was quickly muffled by his mouth. His hips snapped into you with barely concealed hunger, cock plunging into your velvet depths with a speed and precision that had you going limp in his hold. He filled you, pushed you, overwhelmed you, his lips passing over yours in a sloppy mess of a kiss, all teeth and tongue. The lower half of your face glistened with spit, both his and yours, and your blindfold was drenched with salty declarations of your desire. The sound of you rippled through the flat, your voice finally free to cry out your pleas and venerations to your lover. Toji’s pace was brutal, ensuring that blood would bloom beneath your skin in dark blossoms come morning, that every muscle, every inch of you would remind you of him.

“Fuck, doll,” he panted, pushing your legs into an even deeper press on your chest, “feel so fucking good.” You babbled in reply, jolting as he brought his open palm down over the flesh of your outer thigh.

“Who owns this pussy, sweetheart? Who does this pretty whore pussy belong to, huh?” Toji laid his hand over the lower half of your stomach, applying pressure to the point where his cock met your walls, met your pleasure. You howled then, the burn in your core flaring into a forest fire.

“You, Toji,” you choked out, “belongs to you-“

You were close. Earth-shatteringly close. Your body thrummed, the fierce heat in your core licking at the edges of your vision. Toji noticed, felt your climax coming. With harsh swipes, Toji stroked your clit.

“Come on, babygirl. Cum on my cock like a good little slut, yeah?” he snarled. You hurtled into your high, your toes curling and Toji’s name pouring from your lips. Wildfire blew across your body, burning tingles and shudders through your nerves in a continuous wave of pleasure. Toji’s hips juddered against you, your pussy clamping down on his cock as you came.  He swore colourfully, fucking you through your climax before pulling out. Liquid heat splattered across your torso, Toji’s cum coating you in a translucent glaze.

The man flopped forward on his forearms, back still rippling with his heavy exhalation. You were near limp, aftershocks jittering at your legs as you stared into the darkness of your blindfold.

“Stay put,” Toji grumbled above you, pecking your lips before disappearing. You barely managed a chuckle at the irony and listened absently to the sound of water running less than a room away. Ruffled material flopped onto your chest without warning. A towel.

Toji wiped you down quickly but efficiently, and you heard the towel get thrown away with a humph. Carefully, the blindfold was removed from your face. You blinked dizzily upward, an involuntary smile crossing your face when Toji’s eyes met yours.

“You good?” his tone was level, serious. You nodded blearily.

“Yeah,” you hummed, “I’m gonna be sore later.” You flexed your freed hand, wiggling your fingers whilst Toji undid your last set of restraints.

“Hmm. Drink,” he pointed to the bedside table then disappeared into the bathroom. You fumbled over the bed and, grabbing the glass, took a deep gulp. Toji returned to fetch you, scooping you up to throw you over his shoulder, then plonk you into a hot bath. He crept in behind you, dexterous hands already working at your tensed muscles, chapped lips littering kisses across your shoulders.

Later, as you lay in between Toji’s legs, your head against his chest and his fingers rubbing cream into your wrists, you suddenly realised the source of your fear.

It wasn’t the dark. Or being silenced. Or being restrained.

It was being vulnerable.

Your fear wasn’t born from the countless nights you’d spent trapped and voiceless in a broom closet. Your fear was conceived in the stares of your elders, in the taunts children threw your way, in the empty hours you lived by yourself, with only yourself. Your childhood had been an open wound, the panic attack a rip in the scar. You sighed deeper into Toji’s chest and curled your fingers into his. He patted your head, holding you close to him, silent. You listened to his heart.

Steady. Solid. Living. Healing.

Sweeties: @203steph​ @vabybizzle​ 💜 please let me know if you would like to be tagged in further Toji fics or JJK fics in general 🐰🌙

[dadolorian]

Diamonds and Daddies Ch 2 Whiskey X F!Reader

A/N: Thank you again to @oloreaa​ for being my Beta reader despite not liking this Yeehonk bitch XD  And thanks to @talesfromtheguild​ for the name idea and letting me bounce ideas for this story in general off of you

Fandom: Kingsman the golden circle Ship: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x Cis F!reader Warning/tags: Kink and consent discussion, Possessive (consensual) language, spanking, slight choking, Daddy kink/ DD/LG/BDSM style relationship, aftercare, fingering, P/V (protected) sex, dirty talk,  reaffirming consent/ checking in with safe word, Jack being possessive/controlling but has readers enthusiastic consent on it. 

Word count: 6K + 

AO3 LINK - coming soon

Summary: Whiskey tries Tinder, and when that doesn’t work discovers a Sugar Baby app that has him most intrigued. Jack gives his Babygirl her first punishment. 

Soft light filtered through sheer curtains, you stretched out lazily, feeling your joints pop and click. Idly, your foggy brain wondered just when your bed became this big and soft. 

You fought to drift back off to sleep as memories of last night slowly came back to you, 

          Cracking an eye open to confirm that yes, you had gone home with the sexy Daddy who wined and dined you last night. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face as you remembered everything that had happened, the slight ache between your legs reminding you of the best part. 

You turned over to snuggle up to your cowboy Daddy, only to find he wasn’t there. You sat up, disappointed and confused, looking around the expansive room for him,  reaching to his side you deduced he had been gone only a short while by the lukewarm heat left on the sheets, you listened carefully, trying to figure out just where he was. 

There was muffled shuffling outside of the room, coming from downstairs, and the delicious smell that was wafting into the room made your stomach growl.

You slid out of the covers to go explore, picking up Jack’s discarded dress shirt off the floor and throwing it on before heading off in search of him.  As you left the bedroom you heard him softly humming, a familiar country tune you couldn’t quite place. Softly padding your way down the stairs there you found him, in his open kitchen, wearing a stetson, jeans and nothing else. His back was facing you, you watched the muscles there ripple as he poured batter into the waffle iron beside him, cursing when hot batter splashed back onto his bare stomach. “Careful Daddy,” you teased, as you leaned against an island counter, making him jump slightly. 

He turned to face you with a soft smile, wiping the batter off of his front with a rag. 

“Morning Honey Bee. Did I wake you?” he asked, rounding the island to give you a gentle kiss.

You hummed at the name, it was the same one you had used on the Sugar baby App, which you still needed to delete for him. 

“Not at all, Cowboy,” you teased, flicking his stetson playfully. 

“I was hoping to give you breakfast in bed,” he drawled, playing with the hem of the shirt you were wearing absentmindedly. His other hand went to the small of your back, gently holding you to his front as he rocked the two of you slowly, dancing in place to music that wasn’t there. 

“Seems that plans out the window now, you hungry?” 

You nodded your head. “Starving. I worked up quite an appetite last night,” you giggled, wrapping your arms around him and resting your chin on his soft front, looking up at him with a giddy smile. 

He chuckled,and bent forward to place a quick kiss to your forehead. 

“That you did, I guess riding takes a lot out of you huh?” he teased with a wink. 

You rolled your eyes at the joke, but your smile confirmed to him you liked it either way.

              He was content holding you just like that, swaying gently together as if you were the only two people in existence, the only thing pulling him away from your embrace was the smell of burning batter.

“Shit, shit!” he cursed, untangling himself from your arms, trying to save what he could of the breakfast. “Damn!”

He unplugged the iron and wafted away the faint smoke with his stetson, trying to thin it out enough to avoid the smoke alarm going off. 

“Sorry, Darlin, I was trying to be all romantic and make you breakfast,” he coughed, scraping burnt batter out of the machine. “But it seems my cooking skills ain't up to par.”

“I’m just flattered that you went through the effort for me,” you smiled, coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around him again, kissing his bare shoulder blades. 

“Of course, gotta take care of my girl,” he moved the waffle iron to the side and cleaned up the mess on the bench.

“How bout we just order something Darl? Since i’ve made such a mess of this?” He suggested, turning in your embrace and resting his large hands on your hips. 

“Sounds delightful” you hummed, standing on your tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss. 

“Here,” he said as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket, unlocking it and passing it to you.

“You open that ‘uber’ app and pick whatever you’re fancying Princess.” 

You took the phone and browsed through the app as he cleaned up what he could, deciding on the safe bet of waffle house, since Jack had seemed so insistent on making them for you to begin with. 

With the food ordered and on its way, you relaxed on the couch, waiting for him to finish cleaning up. You lay on your stomach, making sure his shirt was only just covering your ass as you flipped through a TV magazine he had laying around.

The rummaging in the kitchen eventually grew silent, shortly followed by warm fingers gently caressing up the back of your thigh to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. 

You hummed, pleased as you felt his weight join you, blanketing himself over you carefully, making sure he didn’t crush you. 

You giggled as you felt his mustache tickle your neck, where he peppered many hot kisses across your skin. 

“D-Daddy,” you giggled, wiggling in his grasp as he continued to tickle you with his facial hair. “Food will be here soon.” 

He growled, not too pleased at the idea of having to cut his playtime short before it had even had a chance to get started. 

“You’re right, Baby, we’ll have to have some fun later,” he sighed, burying his face into your neck for soft snuggles rather than the heated kisses, a change you had no complaint about either way.  “Don’t need to get all worked up before heading to the lobby. Might give a poor delivery driver a heart attack if I answer the door full mast,” he snickered into your neck. 

You rolled your eyes again at his immature humor but you were once more unable to keep your own smile off of your face. 

“We can play after breakfast though. Right Daddy?” You asked, running your foot over this strong calves teasingly.

“Mmhhhh, of course Baby, “ he said, placing another kiss on your neck. “You only have to ask and Daddy will play with you whenever you want. Unless you’re being a brat for me.” 

You hummed in appreciation at the implication.  Past Daddies had never been very...successful at the whole punishment and reward aspect of your usual relationship dynamic. Your string of bad luck when it came to your relationships didn’t just translate to the relationships with your Daddies failing, but also to how skilled they were with mixing the punishments and pleasures you hungered for. You had never been left completely satisfied in a relationship before. 

But, since meeting him, there wasn't a doubt in your mind that Jack’s ability to take care of you, to punish and pleasure you in the way you had been craving for years, would finally scratch that itch. To satisfy your hunger. You weren’t just a sugar Baby for the money after all. 

“I’ll be good for you,” you teased, breathlessly lifting your ass up into his hips, causing him to groan. 

“Teasing's not what a good girl does, Honey Bee,” he warned, using your moniker again. It was like he was reminding you of your place, something that should have been a red flag in any other type of relationship, but with Jack, it only served to turn you on more. 

“What happened to not answering the door at full mast?” You continued to tease. 

“Half mast...different story,” Jack joked, snatching his phone up with one hand to check on the progress of the food. 

“It’s on its way,” he hummed, getting up off of you carefully, gently patting your ass as he straightened up. “Should probably go put a shirt on then.” 

“Awww,” you pouted, flipping over to watch him walk over to the stairs.

“I’ll take my shirt back off when I get back with the food baby, but only if you take yours off first, Honey Bee,” he winked playfully at you before heading upstairs.

He returned from his room, now wearing a plain white T-shirt which showed off his biceps deliciously, and some fancy looking cowboy boots to complete his casual country look.  “I’ll be back with the food in just a minute Darlin,” he said, coming over to you and giving you a slow, deep kiss. “Be good.” 

You batted your eyelashes up at him, playing innocent as he took off, grabbing his keys and leaving you alone in his apartment. 

Bored without his attention and curious about him, you took the opportunity alone to explore. You hopped up off the couch and started to inspect his apartment. Upstairs you found an additional two bedrooms and bathroom , they were of little interest to you outside of their stunning views of the city, the interesting parts of his apartment were all downstairs, you discovered.  A private gym, a balcony with views of central park and his own pool! You were half tempted to jump in and wait for him to return but you didn’t want to get in trouble with him, at least not yet.  You headed back inside and were about to inspect the last room of the house when you spied through the glass door a heavy wooden desk and laptop sitting on top of it, it was his office. Remembering his warning, you loosened your grip on the handle, backing away slowly. 

“What did I tell you bout my office, Babygirl?” his deep baritone startled you, you hadn’t heard him return.    He stood in the open lounge behind you, one hand on his hip, the other holding the takeout boxes, quirking an eyebrow at you questioningly.  His question was a clear warning to you. 

“You said I can't go in there, and I remembered!” You explained as you turned to face him fully. “I didn’t go in, I stopped as soon as I realized it was your office Daddy, I promise.”

 He regarded you for a moment, searching your eyes. He believed you it seemed. “Good,” he purred, putting the boxes on the coffee table. He grabbed two plates and cutlery from the adjacent kitchen and returned to flop onto the couch with as much grace a man his age could muster.

 “Come here Baby,” Jack beckoned you with his finger, before he sat down and toed off his boots, kicking them underneath the coffee table. 

He held out his arm in invitation of a cuddle which you happily accepted, tucking your knees under yourself as you curled up to his side. He gave you a tender kiss to your forehead then served up the food onto the plates. 

“There you go, Baby,” he smiled, handing you a plate. “Wish i could have made it myself, but this will have to do for now. One day I'll make you a romantic breakfast in bed.” 

“I like that idea Daddy,” you hummed, digging into your food quite happily. “But i’m certainly not complaining about this either.”

You both sat, lazily cuddling as you ate your breakfast together, not in any particular rush to get on with the rest of the day. You finished first, putting your plate on the coffee table in front of you while you waited for him. “You might finish it quicker if you let go of me Daddy,” you teased, causing him to cock an eyebrow at you, looking at you as if you had just grown two heads. “Now why would I want to do that, Babygirl?” He asked, the arm around you squeezing the flesh of your exposed thigh. 

“I wasn’t complaining Daddy, I just thought it might have been easier.”

“I know Baby,” he kissed your cheek. “But i much prefer this.” When he had finally finished his food he stacked his plate on top of yours, picked up a blank notepad off the glass top then pulled you up onto his lap. 

“Now, Baby,” he murmured, playing with the top button of the shirt you were wearing, his shirt. 

“What do you say we get that little ‘contract’ sorted? Should be something we get out of the way before we have anymore fun together, don’cha think? I don't want to overstep any boundaries with you.” You nodded in agreement, looping your arms around his neck as he began writing. 

You found it really cute the way his brow would furrow as he wrote, trying his best to balance the notepad between the two of you and not get distracted by your close proximity. When he was done, he re-read the whole page, giving it a nod of approval before flipping it for you to read. 

You made sure to read it properly, to make sure everything was covered. It was a detailed list of all the rules you had both agreed to the previous night, with the important ones underlined for emphasis, safeword, exclusivity, communication. You smiled, giving him your approval. He then flipped to another page, writing down a list, you tried your best to read it upside down, curious as to what else he could be writing. Figuring out a few of the words you realized he was writing a list of kinks. 

He gave it another once over before showing you. 

“Like I said Princess, I don’t want to cross any boundaries with you, I need to know beforehand if you’ll be just as enthusiastic for these as I am,” he said, rubbing your thigh as you took the list and read it. “It's all fun and games talking punishment and rewards until I get to it and find out you don’t like what I'm doing to ya.” 

You took the pen from his hand, crossing out the hard no’s, leaving only your favorites on his expansive list.

Over stimulation Choking Bondage/restraints Throat fucking Spanking Slapping Riding crop Public sex Collars Toys- Plugs, vibrators, Dildos- others Orgasm denial Cock warming Roleplay - costumes Rough sex Ice Candle wax Degradation/name calling  Fisting Anal Spitting

“Perfect” you purred, handing it back to him so he could confirm what you had approved off. He grinned widely as he read it, his eyes growing dark from lust. You were just the same, already feeling the familiar sensation of your arousal pooling.

“Hooo, Honey Bee,” he growled contentedly, reading your amendments. “You left all my favorites on here.” He tossed the notepad onto a side table, discarding it and leaving his full attention on you. “Now keep in mind, those kinks are just for punishments and rewards...We can add more if we want to later, and we can explore other kinks any other time...I just need to know what you want when Daddy punishes you.” You nodded, agreeing with his words. You were exceptionally grateful at just how serious he was taking his role and control over you, making sure you would be comfortable and feel safe with everything he wanted to do with you, confirming to both of you he had your enthusiastic consent for some of the more...extreme elements of your growing relationship. 

“Mind answering a question for me, Darlin?” He asked, gently undoing the top button of your shirt.

“Of course not Daddy, ask away.”

“Got any toys at home?” His hands continued popping buttons of the shirt you were wearing, his voice was curious, with that hungry growl still hidden beneath it.

“Y-yes, i have toys,” you admitted truthfully.

“Get rid of them,” he ordered firmly, staring at your chest as his calloused hand slipped underneath your now unbuttoned shirt, pushing the shirt off of your shoulders, exposing you to him.

“B-but Daddy, they were expensive,” you whined, gripping his shoulders as his large, rough hands moved to cup your breasts.

He dragged his gaze away from your tits to look you in the eyes.

“What was that? You answering back to me already, baby?” He growled, giving your breasts a harsh squeeze in warning, making you gasp. “Your pleasure belongs to me now, remember? I decide when you get to feel good…And no toy is going to do my job for you.” He began rolling your nipples in his fingers, causing your head to fall back in pleasure. He gave you a growl in warning, a wordless command of eyes on me, and you dragged your gaze back to him, whimpering at his touches. You had started to get wet as you read his Kink list, just the idea of exploring them had started to work you up, but now, with his deft fingers and possessive words, you feel yourself getting wetter. 

“When you get home, you’re going to throw all those toys you have in the trash,” he squeezed your breasts together, still toying with your nipples. “Then you’re going to send Daddy a photo to prove it….And then, when i think you’ve earned it, we’re going shopping for some new, special toys we get to use together. For when you’ve been a good girl for Daddy…or a Bad girl.”

You bit your lip to hide the whimper at the implications, unsuccessfully. Once again he was proving just how capable he was at his Daddy role for you. He chuckled at how helpless you sounded, dragging one of his hands down your front to slip between your legs, fingers quickly becoming covered in your slick. “You’re very naughty baby, forgetting to put your panties on this morning...Only bad girls go about with no underwear,” he teased, pushing one, long finger inside you slowly. “B-But...You weren't wearing underwear last night!” You gasped, opening your legs wider to give him better access. The hand still on your tit squeezed harder. 

“Answering back again?” he growled, shoving another finger inside of you. His other hand let go of your breast and looped around you, pulling you tight up against his front, holding you in place so he could attack your neck with his mouth.  He kissed and licked, running his teeth over the sensitive skin there before growling right into your ear.  “Don’t you dare go around thinking that you can answer back to me, Honey Bee, or that what Daddy says don’t matter.” 

Your moniker, again, reminding you just what you were to him, what he was to you.

One simple name you had heard many times before, but coming from his mouth, his husky voice, it held so much power and control over you. 

The two fingers inside you pushed in as deep as they could go, curling back and forth to tease at your sweet spot. You tried to wiggle in his grasp, either to get away from the stimulation or get closer, you weren’t sure, but his grip on you held fast.

“If I say something makes you a bad girl, then you best listen...Don’t matter if Daddy does it too, you do as I say, not as I do...You’re not a big enough girl to behave like that…” he teased you, gently curling his fingers one minute then thrusting his hand into you harshly the next, fingering you as fast as he could in the position. “Thought you wanted to be my good girl?” he rasped, chuckling darkly when you began writhing in his hold, whining and arching your back, holding onto him for dear life, your manicured nails digging into his biceps as the obscene wet slaps of his hand thrusting into you joined your whines. 

His words and deft fingers had brought you quicker to the edge than you had ever been in your life. Something about the way he became so possessive and controlling over you turned you on so easily, you felt your core tighten up and more arousal seep down your thighs. 

Gripping his shoulders you whimpered out a warning that you were going to cum. He sped his hand up, thumb rubbing quick circles into your clit for one teasing moment, and right before you flew over the edge, he pulled his fingers free from you. “W-wha?” you asked befuddled, straightening back up to look at him. “Daddy why?” 

He stood up, tossing you onto the couch on your back before bringing his fingers to his mouth, moaning as he tasted your essence still coating them. “I’ll tell you why, Baby,” he said, pulling his fingers free and licking his lips as if he had just eaten the finest dessert. “You talked back to Daddy,” he leant over top of you so his nose brushed yours. “And then I find out you’re being a filthy little girl by not wearing panties…” He slapped your thigh hard enough to sting. “And then you had the gall to talk back to me, again.” 

He shoved his mouth against yours for a deep, domineering kiss. It was bruising. You could taste the faint flavor of the syrup from the waffles you shared, combined with your own juices, on his tongue. He cupped your jaw to deepen the kiss, then pulling away only when you had become lost to the sensation, driving you insane once again by denying you just as it got really heated. “Now, we’re both new to this...It’s going to take a while for us both to learn all the rules,” he said, straightening up and pulling his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side, forgotten. He was back on you, kneeling between your legs before you could even admire his soft tummy again.  “But if I let this one slide, Baby, I fear you won’t learn the rules...If I let you get away with answering back to me, and being filthy now...Well you won’t learn your lesson, will ya?”

One hand slid back between your legs, ghosting over your soaked folds teasingly. You whimpered again, listing your hips for more contact, batting your eyes up at him in hopes to soften him up 

“But since this is a first offence,” Jack chuckled, gently pinching your clit between two fingers, “I’ll go easy on you. But don’t think those pretty eyes will work on me all the time, baby.” 

“Daddy” you whined, feeling completely helpless underneath him and loving it. “Hmmm? Now what do we think is an appropriate punishment for a first time offence?” He asked, pushing one finger back inside you, thrusting it in and out agonizingly slowly while his thumb circled your clit with feather light passes. Touching you and filling you up, but not enough to satisfy the burning need in you. He watched intently as you tried to seek out more stimulation, raising your hips up into his hand, but he put a stop to that quickly, holding your hips down with his free hand.  “Stay still,” he growled. “You take what I give you, Honey bee, don’t be greedy.”  He watched you with his head cocked, as he decided on your punishment.  “I think we’ll keep it simple,” he continued. “A spanking seems appropriate...Don’t you agree?”

Jack paused, and you realized he was waiting for a response, an approval and consent over his chosen punishment.  “Y-yes...a spanking seems fair Daddy,” you pouted, looking up at him through your lashes. 

“Good” he rumbled, scooping you up and gently laying you across his lap. You could feel his erection pressed up against your belly.

You wanted it inside you, but you knew you had to earn it. One of his arms looped around your middle, keeping you still while the other was gently massaging your ass and rubbing your pussy. “Listen up, Girl,” he said, voice firm. “You are to say “red” if this gets too much, you understand?” he asked, waiting for your verbal affirmation before continuing. “Good, after each spank, I want you to say ‘I will not talk back to Daddy’. Can you repeat that for me?” “I- I will not talk back to Daddy,” you moaned, wiggling your hips to get more friction up against your pussy. “Good,” he praised again, rewarding you with more friction just where you wanted it, his palm rubbing up and down over your folds. 

“You’re going to get ten spanks...And then Daddy's going to give you a reward afterwards, if you’re good for me.”

You nodded, letting him know you understood. “I want you to count them out too,” was his final instruction as he raised his hand, bringing it back down against your ass with a hard SLAP! “O-one!” You yelped. “I will not talk back to Daddy!” He hummed in approval, you felt his erection brush up against your stomach again, twitching in the confines of his pants. SLAP! “Two!” I will now talk back to Daddy!” 

It continued, you tried your hardest to keep still with each slap, to stop rubbing your thighs together, but each slap only seemed to make you wetter, to make you want him more. Slap after slap after slap, you remained his good little girl. “T-Ten! I- I will not talk back to Daddy!”  you cried, tears from the pain running down your face. You were left sore and sensitive, but despite the pain you felt burning pleasure fill your whole body. Jack really was living up to your dream expectations as your Daddy, you were reminded one again just how perfect he was for you.

He proved himself more with how he treated you after a punishment.  

His hand began massaging your ass again, soothing the sting. Jack nuzzled the side of your face affectionately as he stroked the hand shaped welts forming on your ass gently. 

“Whats your color, Babygirl?” he asked softly, kissing your cheek. 

“G-green,” you panted, calming your breath and racing heart down. “Good, good,” he praised, carefully helping you stand on your feet, back facing him. Your legs felt like jelly, you were ready to collapse but his hands on your waist kept you standing. “You took your punishment so well, baby, Daddy is so proud of you!” He kissed the growing welts, praising you. “What a good girl you are, taking Daddys punishment. And look at this,” one of his hands pushed between your legs, coating his fingers once again in your arousal. “You’re even wetter than before...I’m not sure it's much of a punishment if you liked it that much, but a promise is a promise, you took your punishment and behaved...My little girl deserves her reward now, don’t you think?” You moaned and nodded, pushing back against his hand despite how sore you were. “Hmmmm, and I know you’re sore baby, but damn if you didn’t make Daddy as hard as a fucking rock through out all of that. Think you’ll be able to take my cock?” 

He chuckled when you nodded eagerly. 

“Course you can, you’re fucking soaked.” He stood up and gently laid you down on your stomach on the couch. You watched over your shoulder as he pulled a condom out of his pocket and began unbuckling his belt, shoving his pants down his hips. 

Once again, he wasn’t wearing underwear, the hypocrite, but you held your tongue. 

Daddy had just taught you a lesson about answering back, you weren't willing to give up your reward after all that delicious torture. “You’re ass looks fucking gorgeous covered in my hand prints,” he rasped, kicking his pants away and ripping the packet open with his teeth.  “I just want to stare at those pretty welts as I fuck you with my cock, might get a little sore again, baby...Tell me to stop and I will.” 

You nodded, letting him know you understood as he positioned himself behind you, he rolled the condom on, briefly wiping up the precum that had gathered at his tip onto his hand, he held his fingers to your mouth for you to taste. 

He groaned as you swirled your tongue around them, coating his fingers in your saliva and tasting the proof of his arousal. With the condom in place, Jack held himself at his base, rubbing his tip up against your soaked folds, back and forth. “Tell me you’ll be a good girl for me from now on,” he teased, you could hear that arrogant smile in his voice. You whined, frustrated he was holding your reward over your head so to speak. “I’ll be a good girl for you, Daddy...I won't answer back like that again!” you moaned into one of the throw pillows on the couch, holding it against your chest and face, anchoring yourself to something as you tried not to scream from frustration at his teasing. “Yeah? You’ll be a good girl and listen to Daddy too? Keeping still when I tell you to? Not arguing if I deem your behavior naughty?” 

At this point you were sure he was just trying to torture you further. “Yes! Yes Daddy! Please! I swear I'll be good, just please!” you begged. “I’ve been a good girl! Please, I just want your cock!” You didn’t care how pathetic or desperate you sounded as you begged him to fill you, he had manhandled you and spanked you deliciously, in a way no Daddy ever had before and if this was just a ‘mild’ punishment, it excited you further to think how he would handle something more extreme in the future. 

You had never been more aroused in your entire life. 

“Good girls don’t speak like that” he warned, you feared another punishment when you were this close to your pleasure that you actually sobbed into the pillow. “But I'll forgive you, you have been a good girl for me, taking your punishment so well....” he trailed off, distracted by the sight of his aching tip poking at your folds that were framed by his growing marks. He was so close to just...pushing in. It was agonizing having him so close to filling you up and you let him know. Pleading and sobbing harder into the pillow. Taking mercy on you, he pushed forward excruciatingly slow, making you sob in relief, satisfying your burning need, if only for a moment.   “You’re just so desperate for Daddy’s cock,” he rasped, enraptured by his effect on you. 

You moaned and continued sobbing into the pillow, overwhelmed to be finally filled with him. 

His guttural moan joined yours as he bottomed out, sinfully loud.The stretch of his was slightly painful, given he did not take the time to prepare you as carefully as he did the night before. But the way he split you open, was divine. He wasn’t wrong in saying you were desperate for his cock,  and who could blame you when he filled you up so good?

“Jesus, fuck, I don’t think I ever been inside a hole this wet before, Baby,” he grated, rocking his hips into you slowly.  “I can feel it, coating down our legs...Didn’t realize you were such a whore for punishment and Daddy's cock.”  It sounded like an insult, but the wicked grin you heard in his voice told you otherwise. He was delighted at the discovery of just how needy he could make you. 

You were about to comment back when he slowly pulled out of you and then thrust back in, hard, making you scream at the devastating pleasure of him stretching and filling you and the deliciously painful sensation of his hips slapping up against your sore ass. 

Jack chuckled again, beginning a steady, fast and deep pace thrusting into you. He grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you up enough so your face wasn’t buried in the throw pillow. “I want to hear your screams, baby,” he snarled, punctuating his sentence with a devastatingly harsh thrust.  He laughed at you, mockingly, as you screamed again. 

“Fuck, I love hearing your noises, baby, you sound so hot, makes Daddy even harder.”  You felt him twitch inside you as he said it, making you whimper. 

You had no words left, only able to focus on the way he filled you up and rammed against your deepest spot. The burning sting of your ass each time his hips met yours drove you wild. He moaned and growled in approval at the noises you were making, but you were so lost that you weren't even aware you were making them or what you were saying. He rambled on behind you, his raspy voice praising how tight you were, how good you felt around him. You could barely focus on his words.

“Rub your clit baby,” he ordered, the hand not gripping your neck rubbing your ass as he admired your marks. “Daddy wants you to cum on his cock...You’ve earned it” 

You did as you were told, reaching beneath you to rub yourself with a trembling arm. You could feel his balls slap against your fingers with earth thrust. And he was right, you were soaked, your fingers were able to glide smoothly over your bud, sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body like electricity.  You felt your core clamping down on him instantly, making him moan. 

“Fuck, just when I think you can’t get any tighter,” he rumbled. “You’re close, aren't cha Honey Bee? I can feel it,you’re such a perfect little cock whore for me, come on..cum for Daddy, fucking soak me even more.” You whimpered, rubbing your clit faster at his words.

“Cum for Daddy, right fucking now!” You obeyed, you felt like you were being hit by a freight train. 

His teasing and leaving you right as you reached your peak earlier, mixed with the unbearable arousal he had caused with his spanking and dirty words resulted in the most powerful orgasm you had ever felt in your entire life. You felt the wind being knocked out of you as your core clamped down around him almost painfully and milk him for all he was worth.  Your entire body contorted with pleasure, your legs shook violently as you tried to cling to anything to ride out the powerful waves.            You heard him curse behind you, slamming into you harder, painfully so given how tender your ass was but it only added to the pleasure.  He growled out his release, gripping your neck harder.  “Jesus fuck baby that’s it! Yes! Yes! Fuuuucccck!”  His desperate bucking as he chased his own pleasure as you milked him dry simply intensified your orgasm, leaving you a breathless, panting, sweaty mess as your body shook and came down from your high.  “Perfect fucking pussy.”

Even when you were done, as you began winding down from your high, every slight movement of him behind you made your walls flutter more, making you whimper from the over stimulation. 

He groaned deeply behind you as he pulled out, cooing gently at you as you whined. “There we go baby, shhhh now,” came Jack's soothing words. 

You melted into the couch, feeling like a heap of boneless jelly as your eyes started to rift close. He got up off the couch and you heard him walk to the kitchen, disposing of his condom you assumed, you were too tired to even care. You were surprised when he came back and rolled you over gently, picking you up bridal style. You let you a whimper of pain and confusion. “Shhh baby, Daddy’s just taking care of you,” he consoled, kissing the crown of your head. “Rest, let me do all the work.” He carried you upstairs, to his room, gently putting you back on ‘your’ side.

You closed your eyes, ready to drift off as you heard him rummage about in his ensuite. He came back, and you felt him gently begin cleaning you up with another warm washcloth. “Look at my baby...so beautiful,” he murmured tenderly, wiping up and down your thighs, throwing the wash cloth to the side to clean up later once your slick had been cleaned up. “You did so well, took Daddy's punishment and cock so well...What a lucky man I am.” He continued to praise you as he gently rolled you onto your front. You whimpered, your body aching and protesting but you let him manhandle you more. You heard something else rustle, then a zipper. There was a pop of a cap followed by the soothing sensation of his hands rubbing cream into your abused skin.           You whined, the cream too cold for your burning skin but he soothed you with gentle kisses peppered along your shoulder blades. “Let Daddy take care of you, it will be done soon,” he promised. With your welts thoroughly coated you sighed in content, already feeling the stinging sensation start to fade away. “There we go,” he praised, packing up what you now knew to be the first aid kit. He went to put it away and wash his hands before he returned. He moved to lay next to you, fidgeting a bit, wanting to pull you up against him but not willing to agitate your sore ass. He contented himself by laying on his side,  watching you as one hand resting on your back, stroking it affectionately and limbs intertwined  with yours. He kissed everywhere he could reach, just as he had last night, he spoke to you gently, letting you focus on his words rather than on how sore you were. “Rest Baby, when you wake up, we’ll have a lot of work to do,” he hummed. “Gonna get'cha all cleaned up, put a nice meal in your belly, make sure you’re all taken care of.” You snuggled deeper into the plush pillow you were laying on, a smile forming on your lips at his soft promises. “Then Daddy's going to have to get ya home, gonna need to get your allowance sorted, and see you get your appointment for your implant...Daddy wants you without a condom as soon as possible.” he teased, his fingers dancing on your back gently, making the flesh jump.

You whined at the ticklish sensation and he chuckled. “Go to sleep baby, i’ll be here when you wake up this time,” he murmured the promise into your ear as you finally drifted off. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: 

@thats-one-tender-foot​  @luminescentlily​ @nuttybeardetective​ @ishqinbbc​ @ben-is-a-hoe​ @calamity-queen​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @talesfromtheguild​

[hopelesshawks]

We already talked about this in dms but like👀 Keigo and a female reader that he thinks is just all cute and shit. But nah she’s actually one of the best dancers in japan and specializes in badass and sexy dances

I went down such a rabbit hole picking out the choreo for this for zero reason 💀💀💀 but man am I here for it. For those curious what I pictured writing this it’s this dance at time code 7:27 choreography is by Jojo Gomez

It’s an 18+ one y’all, minors dni. Warnings for dom/sub dynamics, mention of reader having a vagina, fingering, hand jobs, light edging, light nipple play, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, minor praise kink

“So when are you finally gonna seal the deal with (y/n)?” Mirko asks Hawks one day as they walk their usual patrol route. It’s a quiet day and quiet days always made Mirko more likely to pry. “Seal the deal?” Hawks asks. “Y’know... Do the devil’s tango? Make the beast of two backs? Teach her the birds and the bees?” Mirko teases, wiggling her eyebrows and crowding into his personal space. Hawks rolls his eyes hard and shoves her out of his space, not that it deters her. “It’s not like that,” he tells his nosy friend but she just scoffs in response. “Don’t play like you don’t want to get all up on her, Hawks. You go to that cafe she works at every night after your shift and I’m pretty sure you don’t even like coffee,” Mirko points out. “I like coffee,” Hawks retorts mulishly. “No you don’t.” “Drop it Mirko.” “Oh c’mon! It’ll be easier if you just admit it.” “Fine! She’s adorable, you happy?” Hawks finally huffs, red tinting his cheeks. There’s a beat of silence before Mirko responds but it’s not quite the response Hawks is expecting. “Wait you think (y/n)... is adorable?” Mirko asks. “What do you mean? She is!” Hawks replies defensively. “Relax tough guy, adorable just isn’t the word I’d use to describe her,” Mirko shrugs. “How else would you describe her? She always seems kinda sleepy on her shift and she wears those big oversized sweatshirts,” Hawks elaborates but Mirko continues to look confused by his assessment of you. “Have you never seen her dance before?” Mirko finally asks. “She dances?” Hawks responds.

In Hawks’ personal opinion, Mirko’s reaction is over dramatic. She had stopped in her tracks and stared at him as if he’d sprouted a third head or announced an early retirement. “What?” he asks, even more defensive than before. Mirko heaves a sigh as if Hawks’ ignorance is her greatest source of disappointment. “I forget sometimes you live under a rock, Jesus Christ. We really do need to talk about you getting out more for things other than work and creeping on the sexy dancer barista you have a crush on. Why do you think she’s so tired every shift?” Mirko asks in disbelief. “She’s a student isn’t she? I assumed school stuff!” “You really are hopeless.” “Hey!” “She has rehearsal before her shift dummy, she’s tired from practicing.” “How do you know so much about it huh?” “Well for starters her group has literally won competitions so jot that down. And two we follow each other on Twitter.” “Why do I even ask you things?” Hawks laments. “Shut up, I have an idea,” Mirko suddenly grins. “Oh god, what the fuck are you planning now?” Hawks groans. “I think we should pay (y/n) a little visit during rehearsal, don’t you?”

Hawks follows Mirko through the halls of the university rec center with a growing sense of dread. She looks mischievous and that’s usually a sign that Hawks is going to regret whatever he just signed up for. After they round a final corner, Hawks can clearly hear music coming out of a room down the hall labeled rehearsal room B. Hawks and Mirko push through the door right as the song stops and immediately Hawks realizes that this was a mistake. Gone is your oversized hoodie, instead you’re in just a pair of sweats and a sports bra, covered in sweat and chest still heaving from whatever dance you and the two other girls with you had just done. Hawks should’ve just ignored Mirko and waited to look up one of your dances on YouTube in the privacy of his own apartment. “Hey (y/n)!” Mirko calls out cheerily even as Hawks mentally curses her out for dragging him here. Your gaze snaps over to the two of them and immediately you break out into a wide grin, the same one Hawks had been fawning over as cute and precious for the past several weeks. “What are you two doing here?” you ask as your friends grab water. “We were in the neighborhood and I remember you mentioning you rehearse around this time so I figured why not swing by?” Mirko replies and god does Hawks hate her right now. “You guys have perfect timing actually, we’re working on something to the song ‘Ride’ by Ciara and it would be really great to get an outside opinion on it. Would you guys mind sticking around to check it out? I promise it’ll be quick the other girls have something right after this,” you ask the two pros, giving your best puppy dog eyes. Hawks wants to politely decline, he’s having enough trouble keeping himself in check as it is thank you very much, but before he can Mirko is already agreeing and he doesn’t have the heart to shut things down when you look so excited. “Ah amazing!! Ok! Just sit at the front of the room and be our audience!” you beam and Hawks is helpless but to comply.

Hawks’ eyes trace over every inch of your body as you start the music and then get into the starting formation of the dance. Hawks can tell the moment you’ve focused in on performing your choreography because your whole demeanor and energy shifts. It’s commanding and confident and very, very sexy. He’s starting to understand Mirko’s reaction to his earlier description of you because the woman he sees before him now? Well adorable doesn’t quite fit the bill anymore. He’s already half hard in his work pants, much to his chagrin. What would the tabloids say if they knew he was getting this aroused in public? It’s not exactly befitting of the number two hero considering he’s supposed to be a role model for future generations. But could anyone blame him? The way you move your body and swing your hips is mesmerizing. At one point you slowly roll your body down to grind your hips to the floor and it’s impossible for Hawks not to imagine you using that same precise control to grind down onto his dick. He tries to focus on the music instead in hopes it will help him calm down but it only takes a second for him to realize the song is painting the very same image he’s trying desperately to clear from his head. He’s almost positive Mirko is smirking beside him but he can’t focus on her, you’ve captured the entirety of his attention.

Then the chorus hits and Hawks is really in trouble. You’re singing along. You’re singing “they love the way I ride it” and making direct fucking eye contact with him while you swing your hips in a slow, sensual grind and how can he not react to that? His wings flare and puff out instinctively, his cheeks going red, and his dick is now fully erect and leaking precum into his boxers. It would be mortifying if he weren’t too focused on your every move to truly remember his surroundings. Eventually the song ends and even though Mirko stands to go compliment you and your friends on a job well done, Hawks stays rooted in place. He doesn’t dare move as his painfully hard cock twitches in his pants. Sweat drips down your neck and god he wants to lick it off you so goddamn bad he barely even notices you saying bye to Mirko and your friends until the door is shutting behind them.

Hawks hasn’t even fully registered that the two of you are now alone in the room before he’s coming up behind you and wrapping an arm around your bare torso. You open your mouth to ask what’s up with him when you suddenly feel his erection against your backside. “Tell me you don’t want this or I won’t be able to stop,” he all but growls against the shell of your ear. “What if I do want it though?” you ask breathlessly as you shamelessly grind your ass back against his throbbing dick. The moan that crawls its way out of his throat in response is guttural, he genuinely can’t think of a time he’s ever been more turned on in his life as he wastes no time spinning you around to face him and pressing you up against the wall. “You knew what you were doing didn’t you?” he asks before dropping his nose down to run along your jaw. You shudder as he licks a long stripe up your neck, delighting in the salty taste of your sweat. “Maybe?” you hedge at first but then he bites the column of your throat hard enough you’re sure it’ll leave a mark and you can’t help but whimper. He draws back to look you in the eye, his pupils blown so wide they’ve almost completely consumed his golden irises. “Don’t lie to me little dove,” he warns. “I may have gone a little harder than usual because you were watching me,” you admit and it’s apparently the right answer as Hawks all but chirps his satisfaction before leaning down to press a bruising kiss to your lips that has you melting. One of his hands slides up to grasp and squeeze one of your breasts but even that is not enough for him and in the next moment one of his feathers glides in to swiftly cut your sports bra off entirely. You’re about to protest but the words die in your throat as Hawks starts pinching and twisting one of your nipples. “Does that feel good little dove?” he asks and all you can do is let your head fall back against the wall and nod your approval.

Hawks takes advantage of your head’s position to resume leaving marks on your exposed neck as his free hand snakes its way into your sweatpants and panties. As his fingers finally reach your dripping sex you feel him moan against the sensitive skin of your throat. “You’re so wet for me already,” he notes as he slowly slides a finger inside of you. “Want you, need you,” is all you can keen as he drags his one finger torturously slowly inside of you. “Want me that bad love?” Hawks teases and your answering nod is almost frantic as he inserts another finger and takes careful note of the way you squirm. “Use your words,” he commands. “I want you so bad Hawks please,” you beg but even as he uses his thumb to lightly brush against your sensitive clit he still doesn’t budge. “I don’t know, you were so naughty teasing me so much in front of Mirko and your friends. Do you understand how turned on I was?” he asks but you can only whimper in response. You jerk your hips forward in desperate search of more friction or movement or something but all that accomplishes is Hawks using the hand not currently buried inside you to hold your hips still. “I want you to feel how turned on your little show made me little dove. Can you do that?” he asks. “Y-yes,” you moan before obediently reaching one hand out to feel his hardened length through his pants. God he’s so big, and it only emphasizes to you how much you want him inside you. “Not gonna get much done from there, little dove, don’t be shy. I want you to feel me, feel the cock you’re so fucking desperate for,” he growls, slowly dragging his fingers in and out of you to emphasize his point. It’s so good but it’s not nearly enough so you fumble with the belt and button of his pants until finally, finally you can slip your hand past the waistband and into his boxers to grasp firm hold of his weeping cock.

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to find a devastating rhythm, your hands moving in sync to drive both of you towards your respective climaxes. Your moans echo around the small practice room and it’s music to Hawks’ ears. You’re close, so close, right on the precipice of orgasm when suddenly Hawks is leaning in to whisper into your ear a simple command: “Stop.” His hand stops moving and then he slowly extracts his fingers from inside you. You whine at the loss, pussy desperately clenching around nothing but you obediently stop your hand's movement. "Don't look so disappointed, I thought you wanted my dick," Hawks teases. "I do, fuck, I do," you groan. "Be specific. What do you want?" "I want your dick inside me, please Hawks I'm begging, I want it so bad," you whine. What a pretty sight you make squirming and whining for him. Hawks thinks he could watch you like this forever but even he is starting to get impatient so he decides to finally give you what you want. He shoves his own pants and boxers down low enough for his dick to spring out of its confines, the head flushed red and glistening with precum. Meanwhile his feathers push down your own sweatpants and panties as you watch him with half-lidded eyes, eager to finally feel his hardened length inside you. He has you wrap your arms around his shoulders and places his hands on your waist. "Hop up pretty girl," he commands and you eagerly obey, allowing him to lift you and then wrapping your legs around his waist to further support you weight. "Ready?" he asks. "God, yes Hawks please," you groan as he lines himself up with your waiting entrance. Hawks complies with an almost feral grin, wasting no time in shoving himself fully inside you. You groan as his thick length stretches you open but the slight burn feels so good as he fills you up. "You're doing so good for me, baby. So good," he praises and you practically purr your satisfaction. "P-please. Move," you moan and Hawks doesn't need to be told twice as he begins fucking into you in earnest. All words are lost between the two of you, the only language you need being the moans, groans, whimpers, and whines the two of you pull out of each other. As he drills into you harder and harder you rapidly feel yourself once again approaching climax. "Hawks I'm gonna-" you start but he cuts you off. "Me too baby, hold out a little longer and we'll cum together ok?" he ask. "Ok," you whimper, trying so hard to be good for him. Just a few long deep strokes later he finally gives you permission to cum and almost immediately you cry out his name, clenching and squeezing around him as he tumbles into his own climax. His groan is long and low as he spills his seed inside you and you relish each and every moment of it.

As the two of you finally come down from your highs Hawks carefully sets you back down on the ground. "Shit," he swears. "You can say that again," you laugh breathlessly. "Maybe I should invite you to more rehearsals from now on," you joke. "I'd much rather you give me a private show at my place," he replies easily. "I think I can make that work." "Good." "When would you like your first performance?" "How about now? You were just bragging about how much 'they' like it when you ride it. Time to put your money where your mouth is." "I'd like nothing more."

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello there! I’m finally here with the third and last part of my favorite drarry fics I read in 2019!!! In the first part and in the second part I recommended 10 stories that made my year, and in this post I’m recommending 10 more that I absolutely adore. The banner art is by @spielzeugkaiser who was really kind and let me use this GORGEOUS piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, without further ado, here’s my,

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2019 PART THREE

1. The Company of The Rose - @lower-east-side - 31k - E - Six years after the war, Draco Malfoy has been restoring magical estates, while sidestepping his mother’s plots to marry him off and resolutely avoiding his issues. An advert in the Prophet takes him to a remote island, where a mysterious stranger has purchased an abandoned retreat. But the house has a few secrets of its own, and Draco will be forced to deal with not only his past, but the possibilities of the future.

We’re starting out this list with one of the last fics I read last year, and undoubtedly one of my absolute favorites. It’s gorgeous, sweet, breathtaking, a dozen other adjectives I can’t even think of. Stories that take place in beautiful, secluded places have a special place in my heart, and with a sure hand the author leads us through some of my favorite aspects of the trope: slow forming friendships, the feeling like they’re living in a world of their own as they get to know each other for who they really are, wonderful, delicious sexual tension keeping me breathless until the moment it snaps. The sex pollen element is also worked in a way I had never read before, with an exploration of what happens in the aftermath, addressing the issue of consent it creates. It’s just absolutely phenomenal, every single word of this. 

2. I could be wrong, I could be ready - @harryromper - 57k - M - At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine. Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

Explorations of Harry as a character and his post-war issues never fail to hook me right in, and this beautiful fic takes us with him on a journey where he changes so, so much, and at first he does it by running away, thinking everything will remain unchanged as long as he doesn’t acknowledge it, which, of course, isn’t the case. We see him having to face his past, reconnecting with his friends, finding and coming to terms with pieces of himself that he forgot about, or never knew existed in the first place, and it’s absolutely exquisite. The tremendous amount of character development, the regaining of trust in himself and others, the way we can witness a love story blooming slow and steady, and see Harry grow into a confident, wonderful man. God, I have feels for this one, for every detail, every character and setting and emotion. It’s absolutely fantastic. 

3. What Real Thing? - @l0vegl0wsinthedark - 12k - E - They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

This was my year of falling in love with l0ve’s fics. I had read some of her work before, but it was a few months ago that I found myself deep into her ao3 page, nearly weeping with the amount of emotion every single one of her stories stirs up within me. Picking just one was extremely difficult, but I finally chose this one, because the way she paints the relationship between Harry and Draco is masterful, their dynamic shifting and changing little by little, baby steps that become full-on sprints, single-minded and hesitant all at once, until we see them elbows deep into a feeling they don’t even know they’re experiencing, and it’s just brilliant, scorching hot, all-encompassing in a way that made me feel caught up in the whirlwind that is their relationship. If you haven’t yet read anything by l0ve, then I strongly, strongly recommend you start right about NOW. You won’t regret it. 

4. Teeth - @amelior8or - 5k - E - Potter’s been practically begging for it, for months, constantly staring until the air crackles with the intensity of it. Draco always stares back, until all it takes is a brush, a spark, before they go up like flash paper. The crash into each other is inevitable. Draco’s heart has got teeth. And there is nothing he won’t do to keep up the fight with Harry fucking Potter.

I am absolutely, 1000% weak for werewolf stories, and in just 5k words this one managed to enchant and entrance me. It’s hot and fast-paced and intense in the way I love, with their relationship charged with emotion and intensity that transform bickering into passion in the blink of an eye. The moment I reached the end, I went back to the top of the page and reread it that very second, because I had to experience it all over again. Amazing characterization, banter to die for and explosive chemistry are all present in this gem. I kid you not, I’ve read it about six times at this point and just keep going back to that moment in the showers because THAT DIALOGUE IS JUST- wow. 

5. Hush, darling - @magpiefngrl - 23k - E - Draco is in trouble. To get out of it he needs to seduce Harry Potter.

My god what a story this is. Absolutely unique, 23k words that felt like so, so much more because of everything they made me feel. There isn’t a single line of dialogue in this story that doesn’t feel purposeful, the characterizations constructed with such skill that every step the characters take rings true to their essence and gives us another clue to add to the puzzle that is Harry Potter, vulnerable man, powerful man, and Draco Malfoy, in all his darkness and his light. It also features some of the best sex scenes I have read, EVER. I could go on and on about this one, so let me just refer you to my long, individual rec for some more flailing. 

6. The Pirate and the Prince - @nerdherderette - 49k - E - Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

YES!!!!! YES!!! The moment I saw the cover art for this fic on tumblr my entire being just screamed YES, and it was everything I could’ve hoped for and more. Listen, there is nothing I love more than fics where I get to see Harry as a powerful, ruggedly handsome man who’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty, and in here there’s some of that and MORE, because he’s a freaking PIRATE. And not only did I adore that aspect of it, but the writing pulled me right in, the setting so vibrant I could feel it in my bones, and I just genuinely enjoyed every second of reading this so, so much. There’s ships and adventure and fighting for what’s right, there’s lovely kisses, heated kisses, secret identities and parrot Hedwig. Just, all in all, a great freaking time. 

7. Falling for a Golden Boy - @rockmarina - 44k - E - Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”

My favorite eight year Drarry of all time, probably. I had never before experienced such a beautiful balance of the aftermath of the horrifying events of the war and how they impacted each character, and the light feeling of youthful fun. There are so, so many things to love in the 44k words that make up this masterpiece, so many details that warmed my heart and made me melt inside, so many moments that had me laughing or clutching my chest. In here, you’ll find quite a lot of Hercules references, wonderful teachers, drama club, healing, characters learning to trust, learning to love, learning to cope, beautiful friendships, hopeful romance. It is everything. I talked more about this fic in this individual rec, and I will absolutely talk MORE about it if given the chance. Everyone should read this. 

8. Tease Crossed, Eyes Dotted With A Little Heart - @diligent-thunder - 18k - M -  Draco's a curse-breaker, Harry's an Auror, and they're... something? Maybe? It depends. Harry definitely wants to get laid, Draco wants to follow procedure, and their work wives just want them to stop hiding from the truth. 

I hope you’re not sick of my rambling yet because oooooh boy, THIS ONE. It’s funny, in the way that makes you cover your mouth because you’re about to burst out laughing on the bus, it’s hot, in that casual way that makes you clear your throat and shift your phone just a little, just so the screen can’t be seen by the person sitting beside you because like HELL are you going to stop reading now, it’s sweet, in the way that makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and it’s so detailed and all around so, so much fun to read, in the way that grips you and doesn’t let you go, only to release you when it’s over so you can go and recommend it to your friends, IT’S. SO. GOOD. Real quick: auror + cursebreaker pairing, are-they-friends-with-benefits-or-more, guess-they’d-have-to-actually-TALK-to-know-that, teasing each other in public, getting trapped together for a bit there, powerful female characters, should you guys really be flirting right now? and MORE. Listen, just go read it now and thank me later. 

9. That which hurts (and is desired) - @shealwaysreads - 19k - E - Draco was lying still, and pale, on a bed in a private room in St Mungo’s. The sheets were white, clean, enchanted against stains, vanishing the blood that kept spilling out of him. He hadn’t moved in two days. Not a twitch of his elegant fingers. Not a blink of his fierce eyes. Harry couldn’t even see the faint flutter of his pulse in his throat from where he stood at the foot of the bed, helpless, impotent, furious.

This fic is written so, so beautifully that it aches and leaves such an impression that, thinking back on it, every emotion hits me just as hard as it did when I was reading it. Everything Harry felt, I felt, every moment where he found himself just a little bit more in love with Draco, I was there, every moment of his frustration when Draco is hit with a curse nobody can decipher, I was there for it. With non-linear storytelling, it is evocative, a masterclass in narration, pacing, characterization and beautiful, lyrical writing. I nearly have no words for it. It features: auror partners that work together seamlessly, a dash of pining, a helping of very, very hot sex, and a love story that feels soft like a dream and thrilling like a race. This was the very last story I read in 2019, and I could not have ended the year on a better note. Definitely check this one out.

10. For Thine Is The Kingdom - @kedavranox - 66k - E - On a secret mission, Draco is Turned. With no memory of what happened, he learns that to save his missing Auror partner and regain what he’s lost, he must uncover the long-buried secrets of the vampire covens. To do that, Draco must open his mind and heart to what he has become, the new-found family that surrounds him, and the man who has remained steadfast at his side through it all.Harry spent five years avoiding the man he fell in love with, but when Draco needs his help, he cannot refuse. As they race against the clock to find Draco’s partner, Harry discovers that the bond they share is nothing to hide from, and that he'll never outrun the pace of his own heart.

And last but absolutely not least, there’s this freaking diamond of a story. I swear I want to squeal whenever I remember it. I’ll be brief: it is one of my absolute favorite fics of all time. In here, there’s vampires, unspeakables, a big investigation, wonderful side characters and information given in small little doses as we learn alongside the characters and piece together an entire picture. It’s dazzling, incredibly detailed in every way, with shades to each character and nuances to every interaction and bit of magic we get to see. I feel like anything I can say is not enough, I can never do this story justice. I have tried before, and written the gushiest individual fic rec of my LIFE but just- I honestly have no more words to express how much I think everyone needs to read this. Please, check that rec out, please, check this story out. There is absolutely nothing like it.

----

And that wraps it for 2019! Thank you to all who take the time to check out my lists, and THANK YOU specially if you give these incredible stories a chance, because they deserve all the love in the world. Once again: All the way from here, behind a username and a few tumblr posts, I can honestly say that these 30 stories made my year. I hope they can make yours, too ❤️ If you ever want to discuss these (for tag concerns or plain flailing) (or any story really) my DM’s are always open!!!

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 6: College AU

Kisses | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: General Word Count: 1227 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, College AU, Fluff Summary: Some Hershey's Kisses, a misunderstanding and a very flustered Dean.

Where the Skies Are Blue | @deservetobesaved

Rating: General Word Count: 1361 Main Tags/Warnings: meet-cute, fluff, mutual pining Summary: Dean is mesmerized by a boy in class, but he doesn't show up again, much to Dean's dismay. (Spoiler Alert: Yes, he sees him again.)

The Dare On Your Lips | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1540 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/University, Truth or Dare, Drinking, Alcohol, Oblivious!Dean, bad flirt!Cas, Dean has the biggest crush, Kissing, Minor Misunderstandings, Fluff Summary: Dean Winchester has had the biggest crush on Castiel, but believes that Castiel isn't interested. Then on one drunken night, Dean is dared to kiss Castiel.

Raspberry Jelly | @envydean

Rating: Mature Word Count: 1729 Main Tags/Warnings: brief Dean/Cassie, No Sex, Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, unexpected bi, College AU, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, accidental (brief) voyeurism, Dean in Panties Summary: After Castiel walks in on Dean wearing a pair of panties and grinding against Cassie Robinson, an awkward (tired-brained) conversation happens that almost ruins their friendship - until it doesn't.

Everything to Me | @suckerfordeansfreckles

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2607 Main Tags/Warnings: jealous Cas, insecure Cas, established relationship, love confession, college AU Summary: Dean pulls back from their kiss eventually, leaving Cas feeling way more than just a little horny, and also honestly very empty. Dean looks gorgeous with those stupid rainbow lights casting colorful streaks on his cheeks in the dark room. He looks gorgeous all the time, actually, and Cas is allowed to tell him now, so he does. “You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he says, against the loud music and noise around them, and Dean’s giddy-wide smile makes him even prettier. “So are you,” Dean calls back over the music with a twinkle in his eyes, and then he leans in for another short little kiss. “I’ll grab us some drinks, be back in a minute.” And then he turns around and saunters across the room towards where Charlie turned her cabinet and lunch table into a bar. If Cas wasn’t sure that Dean’s shaking his ass on purpose just by watching him walk away, the wink Dean sends him when he looks back over his shoulder is enough to convince him. For a little while, he just stands there and watches as Dean orders them drinks from the barkeeper Charlie rented for the party. Cas can’t help but consider how he looks, tall, huge muscles, wild dark hair and a blinding smile — just Dean’s type.

Extra Credit | @tobythewise

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2837 Main Tags/Warnings: Professor Castiel, College Student Dean, Bottom Cas, Top Dean, Rimming, Dom/Sub Undertones Summary: After Dean turns in a less than perfect paper, his professor, Mr. Novak, allows him an opportunity for extra credit. Dean REALLY wants that A.

Stargazing Has A Noble History | @jemariel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3058 Main Tags/Warnings: College AU, college party, casual sex, recreational drug use, frottage, photographer!Cas, business student!Dean, sculptor!Dean Summary: “Dean, shut up. You’re good. Have you seen yourself? You have an eye for dynamic lines and -- look, you’re obviously talented. Why aren’t you taking advantage of that?” The night air is growing cooler but Dean’s face feels like a red hot poker. “That’s what Ellen keeps telling me.” “Ellen? Ellen Harvelle? How do you know Ellen?” “She teaches my sculpting class. I had to take an elective, so.” He shrugs. “And how are you enjoying it?” Dean shakes his head. “I love it."" A first.

I Saw You | @kitmistry

Rating: General Word Count: 5899 Main Tags/Warnings: Secret Admirer, Mutual Pining, Fluff Summary: ISawYou: The newspaper column that has made every student on campus look each other in the eyes. Dean has never paid any attention to the messages posted on the newspaper, but everything changes when Charlie finds one that she insists just has to be about him. Or the one where Dean has a secret admirer.

La Vie A Plus | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: General Word Count: 6260 Main Tags/Warnings: Asexual!Castiel, Artist!Castiel, Pining Summary: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you're going with it.

Hue Burn | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7594 Main Tags/Warnings: Synesthesia, Radio Host!Castiel, Artist!Dean, Summary: Castiel lives in a world of colour and sound, endlessly intertwined like two parts of a whole. As a radio broadcasting student, he runs a small segment on their campus radio program in the evening - and with help from his synaesthesia - tries to make the program more interesting by bringing in a little bit of colour. Castiel views his synaesthesia as both a gift and a curse, but after a chance encounter with a mysterious, stunning, golden-green voice, he's starting to think that it's more of the former.

Dear Virgo | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: General Word Count: 9970 Main Tags/Warnings: Asexual Castiel, Soccer Player Castiel, Journalist Dean, Summary: Dean Winchester is a journalism major planning to coast his last year by mostly just sticking to writing the campus newspaper's daily horoscopes, and he almost succeeds. Enter Castiel Novak, captain of the soccer team, and his next interview appointment. It's obvious from the start that there's something between them, but things don't quite go as Dean first hopes, and he ends up learning a lot more about Castiel than he ever planned on - luckily for him.

Honesty Is All About The Timing | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 12017 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe Alternate Universe - College/University Childhood Friends Misunderstandings Bisexual Dean Winchester Gay Castiel (Supernatural) Drunk Blow Jobs Slow Burn Happy Ending Summary: Cas Novak and Dean Winchester were inseparable best friends since grade school, but Dean's father moves Dean away when they get to high school. They connect again in college, but neither of them have been exactly honest about their sexual orientation. Not using their words leads to misunderstandings, then problems, then...?

A Study in Motion | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 24094 Main Tags/Warnings: Photographer!Castiel, Ice Skater!Dean, College AU Summary: Castiel Novak’s one true passion is photography, though he’s still considered just an amateur with dreams of something more. When one of his professors gives the class the assignment of effortlessly capturing the idea of motion in a photograph, Castiel finds himself without a muse until his study partner, one Sam Winchester, volunteers his brother - a professional figure skater with dreams of his own and a past that held him back.

The Stars, They Shine | kradarua (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 52953 Main Tags/Warnings: Theatre, Homophobia, Misappropriated Christianity, Astronomer!Castiel, Accidental Actor!Dean, Gay Panic, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, First Time, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Minor Castiel/Meg Masters, Top Dean/Bottom Castiel Summary: Engineer-in-training Dean Winchester just wants to work on cars. Astronomer Castiel Novak spends his time holed up in the school’s observatory looking at the stars and trying to piece together his dissertation. They’ve never had any reason to cross paths. Not until they get roped into participating in the college theatre group, anyway. When Lisa invites Dean to join her at the mass meeting, he can’t say no to a pretty face. But the joke is on Dean when he accidentally lands the male lead and has to come to terms with memorizing lines and trying not to make a fool of himself on stage. Moreover, despite his best attempts to stay interested in Lisa, there’s no denying the strange gravitational pull he feels around Castiel. Castiel is just here to prove to Charlie that he’s capable of doing something besides research; it should be easy, except he finds himself becoming interested in Dean in a way he really did not expect. Dean is trying to navigate being way outside his skill set; Castiel just wants to hold onto his scholarship without pissing off the religious organization that gave it to him. It’s going to be a long semester, especially if Dean keeps forgetting his goddamn lines. The show must go on!

Evangelist | @valleydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 334403 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/UniversityCollege, Drinking, Underage Drinking, Drug Use, Minor Character Death, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Break Up, Rich Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel's Family is Rich (Supernatural), Corporate Espionage, down with capitalism tbh, Near Death Experiences, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), References to Drugs, References to Abuse, References to Depression, Frat Parties, Poker, Roman Catholicism, Homophobia, Fire, Gambling, Drunkenness, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Slow Dancing, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Bartender Dean Winchester, College | University Student Castiel (Supernatural), Student Castiel (Supernatural), Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Jealous Dean Winchester, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, a frankly ridiculous amount of references to abraham lincoln vampire hunter, Secret Relationship, ALSO!! the megstiel is not explicit! Summary: In Lawrence, the Novak family owns more than god. Castiel is expected to graduate with a business degree, become a community leader, meet a nice girl, and one day help run the family business, Evangelist, Inc. Then he meets Dean Winchester, who vehemently opposes everything Evangelist stands for. When Dean’s need for cash to pay the bills leads him down a risky path, both he and Castiel learn there may be more to Evangelist than philanthropy and good will.