#the goat ass motherfucker

[facehead-08]

We got some pet goats!! ⭐️

[23victoria]

Passing the Phone

f1 grid x reader

warnings: cussing, unhinged, satire, complete jokes (are they?...), dark humor ig…idk, talk of age gaps, sa allegations, no just kidding...very much reading people to the filth

authors note: lmaoo don’t ask me why i wrote this cause idk…but this is so unhinged 😭😭 please don’t take offense to this and if you do…i said don’t…all jokes i love them, some of them, you can find it funny or you won’t, just wanted to get this out of my drafts

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f1 masterlist

Video starts with Y/N holding the phone, in selfie mode.

Y/N: I'm passing the phone to someone who had the biggest breakup in F1 history with a blond German boy named Nico.

Lewis: Babe, no!

Y/N: What, too soon? It's been years but okay! Sorry! Okay, let me start again. I'm passing the phone to someone who said "Fuck Mercedes" and is going to Ferrari for 2025!

Lewis: Y/N, no!! You cannot say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!!

Y/N: Fine, fine, fine. I'm passing the phone to the GOAT of this generation with the most wins in F1 history, yet he was robbed of the championship in 2021.

Y/N passes the phone to Lewis.

Lewis: stares at Y/N then laughs “I'm passing the phone to someone who is known more for his memes than driving skills.”

Lewis passes the phone to George.

George: laughs “Hahaha real funny…I'm passing the phone to someone who took six years to get their first win."

Lando: “Dude, what the fuck?! Fuck you, Woody! I'm passing the phone to someone who's younger than me yet acts years older than me.”

Oscar: “....You're not funny... I'm passing the phone to someone who's most likely losing their seat next season.”

Logan: “The fuck, Oscar! I thought we were friends! Low blow, mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has yet to get P1, yet all his friends who got into F1 after him have won races already.”

Alex: “....And that, Logan, is why you're losing your seat. Mr. What The Fuck is A Kilometer. Anyway, I'm passing the phone to someone who just got brutally murdered by an interviewer on Sky Sports regarding their F1 career, if you could call it that.”

Daniel: “You shouldn’t be talking Mr. I Have No Wins….eat shit…I'm passing the phone to the shortest person on the grid but cusses more than anyone here.”

Yuki: “That interviewer was right, why the fuck do you still have a seat in F1?!! Dickhead. I'm passing the phone to a man with good fashion sense and his teammate might steal his seat.”

Zhou: “Bro….really. I'm passing the phone to someone who acts like he's Australian when he’s not…oh, and his seat is at risk too.”

Bottas: “Yeah, yeah, whatever mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has enough penalties in just nine races that he can be banned from racing in F1… permanently.

Kevin: “You're so funny, Bottas, hahaha…ha. I'm passing the phone to a dickhead.”

Nico: “Fuck you too asshole. I'm passing the phone to a person who has a shitty ass dad who deserves to be in jail.”

Max: burst out laughing “Ah, no lies told there. I'm passing the phone to someone who only has a seat to protect me from having any real competition…”

You laugh in the background “Oh shit.”

Checo: blank stare “Motherfucker! That just shows your true colors... I'm passing the phone to... who am I supposed to pass it to... uhhh... Y/N.

Takes phone 

Y/N: “Oh, I know! I'm passing the phone to someone who has sexual assault “allegations” against them, but the FIA wants to hide it. I can’t go near him for my safety, so I’ll just turn the camera towards him... *pans the camera to Christian Horner*

Everyone is stunned and silent, then there’s Lewis laughing in the background 

Y/N: “Oh! I have another one! Hey Kelly, “i hear you like them young”, to be more specific at the ripe age of 17... mhmmm, she's a pedoo. What Kendrick say “TRYNA STRIKE A CORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINNORRRR” *pans the camera to Kelly Piquet*

silence.

Lewis: runs towards Y/N and grabs the camera “Yup, that's enough for today. You're trying to start problems and get people beat up”

Video ends with Lewis taking the phone away from Y/N, shaking his head while laughing.

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong @bloodyymaryyy @nor-4 @zacian117 @mel164 @uhhvictoria @hadidsworld @magixpracticality @exotic-iris13 @tellybearryyyy @zabwlky1999 @sya-skies @lillysbigwilly

@eoduuung

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

*sooooo……that’s the end….LMFAOOOO, again…DO NOT COME FOR ME…ITS JOKES (is it really though)*

© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own

[mrtheinsatiable]

You ever have a food that you want to like, you even think that the flavor could be good, but your body just rejects it so strongly that you can barely eat it

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 29

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

❤ Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

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TBH! At this point, this is a joint collab with @paigereeder 😭. GOAT!

Thursday, September 2nd 2021 

Airielle’s peaceful slumber was interrupted by her phone ringing. Groaning, she snatched her phone off the floor next to her and squinted at the screen to see who was calling her. “Oh my god.” She muttered before accepting the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Why in the fuck didn’t you tell me Christopher popped the fuck back up. I knew I should’ve killed that motherfucker when I had the chance.” Her older brother Isaiah seethed over the phone and Airielle sighed closing her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Airielle!” He shouted into the phone when she didn’t respond. 

“Because I had it under control.” Airielle looked behind her as Josh started to shift in his sleep, sighing she threw the covers off of her and walked into the living room to finish her conversation. 

“Uh-huh, sure you do. He broke into your spot -” 

“And I moved, problem solved.” She shrugged, eyes glancing around the living room just taking in how much he had actually gotten rid of. “Shouldn’t you be working?” 

Isaiah snorted. “I took the day off.” 

“Hmm,” Airielle hummed. “And that’s why you’ll never be Dad’s favorite” 

“Eat my - “ Airielle hung up before her brother could finish his statement. Rolling her eyes she threw her phone on the island. She looked up when she heard Josh shuffling into the living room. 

“Everything Aight?” Josh mumbled as he walked closer to Airielle and kissed her cheek. 

“Yeah, my brother being a pain in my ass.” She replied, rolling her eyes when he chuckled. “What you got going on today?” 

“Nothing. I gotta do some laundry and gotta pack. Got Smackdown and the House show this weekend.” 

“You wanna go get some breakfast first?” She asked, tapping the screen on her phone to see what time it was. “I’m kinda craving waffles.” 

“You already know the answer to that.” Airielle rolled her eyes with a smile as she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his chest. 

“Can you believe it’s about to be a year since we met?”  It's crazy to think about all the ups and downs they went through in a year! If she could go back and change anything it would definitely be breaking up with him after he asked her to move in with him. That would have saved them months of heartbreak. 

“You wanna hear somethin’ wild?” He waited until she lifted her head from his chest to continue. “That wasn’t the first time we actually met.” 

Airielle furrowed her eyebrows together and tilted her head a little. 

“Huh?” 

“We actually met back in 2019. Me and twin had a meeting with Hunter, down at the PC and I saw you there. I mean I was looking, respectfully, but I was still looking.” He laughed when Airielle rolled her eyes again.  “Hunter told us he was taking us off TV after Jon’s latest arrest but he still had - 

“Y’all cut a promo for us.” She whispered as the memory of their first meeting came rushing back. “I remember y’all looking so pissed but still came and cut like one the best promos I ever heard.” 

“Mmhmm.” Josh hummed while nodding his head. “I remember trying to come talk to you, but you weren’t even trying to give ya boy the time of day. I mean I understand why now but shit, back then I thought you were like this stuck up bi-” He stopped himself when she narrowed her eyes at him. He cleared his throat. “You know what I mean.” 

“I mean I was a bitch to you when I came to the main roster.”  Josh nodded his head in agreement and Airielle sucked her teeth, pulling away from him. 

“What? you said it, not me.”  Just as she went to smartass him, his stomach released the loudest grumble she had ever heard. They both stared at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You the one who brought up waffles, I mean you already know how I get down.” Airielle sucked her teeth and pushed him away from her before walking back towards his room so she could grab her clothes to shower. 

“I feel like they just need to go ahead and sponsor your greedy ass Uce.” She chuckled, her back to him as she shuffled through her bag looking for something to wear to breakfast. She stood up straight and gasped as she turned and bumped into Josh. 

“Whatchu’ just call me?”  Airielle bit her lip to stop herself from smiling at the look he was giving her. “Airielle, stop playing with me.” 

“You wanna go get waffles or not?”  Josh tilted his head as he stared at her. He was really contemplating on not going to the Waffle House with her because who the fuck did she think he was. Uce, had she lost her damn mind? He wasn’t her damn Uce. He went to tell her that they weren't going to breakfast but his stomach growled again making her smile. “That’s what I thought.” 

AirielleJones

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AirielleJones: Me and UCE out to eat! ❤️🤭

view all comments:

uceyjucey: you still playing huh?

↪ AirielleJones: @ uceyjucey; love you too UCE 😘

trinity_fatu: HAHA!!

“You gon glare at me throughout breakfast or what?”  Airielle asked him as the waitress walked away to put in their orders. “Why can’t I call you Uce?” She pouted. 

“Cause I don’t fuck my family Airielle.” 

“Boy –” 

“Oh my god. Look at you! You’ve gotten so big.” A new voice interrupted their conversation. Both Airielle and Josh both turned towards the new voice. Josh narrowed his eyes as he looked at the woman. She was older than both of them, with dark brown skin; for some reason, her facial features reminded him of Airielle. Josh turned to look at Airielle to ask if she knew who the hell this lady was but he stopped short once he saw the look on Airie’s face. He had only seen that look one time before. 

A couple weeks before she broke up with him she had this same look when he had tried to initiate sex but she wasn’t in the mood for it. That’s the same day he found out Christopher used to force her to have sex with him. He remembers her telling him that her old therapist called it dissociating. Josh immediately stood up and stepped in front of this lady, blocking Airielle, who was still sitting in the booth, from her view. 

“You good?” Josh asked the woman, straightening his shoulders so he was standing at full height. 

“Are you her bodyguard or something?” Another voice piped up from behind the older women and Josh definitely knew that they had to be related to Airielle in some sort of fashion because this girl and Airielle could pass off as twins. 

“Yup. Now answer my question, Y’all good?”  

“You must be Joshua.” The older woman said. Holding her hand out to him. “I’m Abigail and this is my daughter Janelle.” 

“Cool, y’all can leave now.” He said eyeing her hand with disgust. Whoever this woman was made Airielle uncomfortable and he wanted her away from them ASAP. Abigail’s hand hung in the air awkwardly for a moment before she withdrew it and cleared her throat, forcing a smile on her face. 

“Airielle please tell this man that I am your mother and I just want to talk to you.” Josh’s eyebrows shot up at the news. “Please solèy –” 

“Don’t call me that,” Airielle spoke up. “You have no right to call me that.” Airielle stood up from the booth and grabbed Josh’s hand. “I want to leave.” Josh nodded his head immediately. Breakfast forgotten, he ushered Airielle back to his car. 

“You okay?” Josh asked as he pulled out of The Waffle House parking lot. 

“No,” Airielle said. “Pull over.” As soon as the car came to a stop, Airielle threw open the passenger door and threw up nothing but stomach acid. “Fuck!” she cried out. 

Josh handed her a bottle of water and she thanked him, swishing it around in her mouth before spitting it out.  “That was–” 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t gotta talk about it.” 

“I know.” Airielle smiled and grabbed his hand, stroking the back of it with her thumb. “But I wanna be more open and honest with you.” Josh bit his lip and nodded. “That was my birth mom and her daughter I guess.” 

“Y’all not close. I take it.” 

“Nah,” Airielle shook her head. “She left when – well right after she gave birth to me. She never wanted me, never wanted a daughter, but I see a lot has changed in the past thirty years. I remember growing up, she would always send my brother’s gifts and cards on their birthdays but never mine. I didn’t really care because I didn’t remember her anyway. But um- one day I was just curious as to why she seemed to ignore my existence so I got her address off of one of the packages she sent my brothers and wrote her a letter.” 

Airielle quickly wiped away her tears. She hated crying over this woman. Josh squeezed Airielle’s hand gently. “She wrote me back. Which kinda shocked me but I was happy that she did. I was thinking she was just gonna tell me that she was just feelin' guilty about leaving me but, she said the complete opposite. She wrote me 4 pages, front and back, telling about how many times she unsuccessfully tried to abort me. How she tried to give me up for adoption without my father knowing. How she had a plan to tell my dad that I had died during childbirth.” 

Josh’s jaw was damn near on the floor as he listened to Airielle. No wonder she’s so emotionally challenged  He thought. 

“She blamed me for the fact that she couldn’t see her boys grow up, she blamed me because my dad chose to raise me instead of be with her. The final thing she wrote to me was, I wish you would have died. Do not contact me again. So I didn’t, I ripped the letter up and burned it. Never told my dad or my brothers about it and obviously neither did she.” 

“What the fuck.” Josh whispered, his hand tightened into a fist on his thigh. Abigail or whatever her name is better than her lucky stars that Josh didn’t put his hands on women. 

“Yeah I mean, I just wanted my mom, but she didn’t want me..” Airielle shrugged as she tried to stop the tears but it was too much. She had pushed Abigail and her hurtful words into the back of her mind in the folder with Chris and her unborn baby. Seeing her today just opened up a wound that Airielle thought had semi-healed. 

Josh pushed his seat back and pulled her over the center console so she could sit in his lap. He held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder. Josh gently stroked her back, his voice low and soothing. “It’s alright. I’m right here, okay? We gon’ get through this.”

As her crying eased, Josh kept her close, feeling her heart slow against his. He didn’t let go, knowing she needed this more than anything. He wasn’t just comforting her; he was vowing to stand up for her in every way he could.

Whew.. Miss Abigail is a trip!

What do y'all think about this chapter??

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Abigail Noelle Roy

Janelle Noelle Roy

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[kissitbttr]

So like what’s frat!miguel and the rest of the boys’ reactions to the Kendrick and Drake beef. Cause fuck Drake ofc.

FUCK DRAKE INDEEEEDDD🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

“oh god here we go” gloria sighs exasperatedly, throwing her head back while groaning as muñeca giggles,

“drake is fucking. cooked! yall seeing this shit right?!” carlos points his phone with a finger as he all but wide eyed,

“man i know! certified lover boy certified pedophile?? jesus he’s out for blood!”

“can’t disagree with the man. drake’s been weird since 2015. icky bro”

“remember when he tried to make a move on my girl riri?” carlos asks as if it truly what happened. “ticked him off the box”

“they did date, idiot” chang corrects, “and weren’t you the one who had his album needed to be played for every weekly party we have on?”

“i’m a changed man!” carlos exclaims. “he is sooo lucky he’s not making a move on my babe though—or imma need to beat his ass”

“who?”

“sza, chang! damn it bro, keep up!”

the boys all gathered in the living room, muttering bunch of ‘drake is a piece of shit’ and how ‘kendrick is the goat’ to each other,

“motherfucker really has another kid?? a daughter?! bro what the fuck!”

“man really took the cum and dump too literally”

“i don’t think anyone says that, mayback”

“didn’t he try to flirt with the kid from stranger things?”

a collective of ‘ews’ and gasps filling in the room as they all beginning to get intrigued. carlos even props himself on the stomach and legs kicking up in the air as he watches his frat brother explains the timeline,

it’s like watching girls gossiping at a sleepover

“i don’t see your man joining in” gloria nudges your side who’s munching away on your banana bread. “sucks because i’d love to see him act like a childish. grown up!” gloria speaks the two last words a bit louder so beck could hear,

yet the man only spares a quick glance at his girlfriend and sends a wink,

“jesus” her head shaking in disbelief. “I’m surprised o’hara is the one with a brain”

you disagree by putting a hand on hers, “don’t speak too soon. he’ll be here any second—“

“HAVE YOU ALL. HEARD. MEET THE GRAHAMS?”

a familiar booming voice coming from upstairs, and both of your eyes are quick to look up. seeing it’s miguel with a towel wrapped around his hips and hair wet with a large smile across his face.

you’ve never seen him look so cute.

“now” finishing off your previous sentence as your eyes refuse to leave his while giggling when he nearly trips down the stairs,

“children. all of them” gloria rolls her eyes, sipping on her drink as she glares at beck,

“oh come onnn, they’re happy” you try to change her mind but she simply just glares you too,

the boys cheer at miguel and wave at him to come huddle, wanting him to join all the hip hop gossip that’s been taking a toll on internet.

but not before he runs towards you first,

miguel basically sprints to you, grinning from ear to ear “hiiii mi amor” he squeals before stealing a kiss off your lips, hand gripping on the towel to secure his lower body,

a frown painted across your features. “are you not wearing an underwear or something?”

“i am” he says. “what, does it not look like i am?”

“kind of. i could see the print”

“shit my bad—guess it’s too big” he shrugs, saying it too casually that earns him a look of disapproval from you. one that says ‘i hope you’re not saying that shit in front of girls’ “kidding baby, kidding—hi gloria”

“put some clothes on dumbass”

“damn, i’m doing well, thanks for asking.”

“yeah yeah” she waves him off, not paying anymore attention to your man,

“you seem happy” a comment you drop soon as the grin on his face isn’t washing off,

“of course! drake is getting his ass dragged. who’s not happy?”

“just that?”

“just that” he confirms, grabbing an apple from the counter. “me and the boys were talking about it during class. apparently they all agreed with what i had in mind”

“oh? and that is?” you find this so amusing, you have to indulge,

“drake is a piece of shit!” he yells with a mouthful of an apple, earning another cheer from his brothers. “had his song on repeat during class, practice, work—kendrick’s insane”

“tell your man that he’s exaggerating. why is he participating on this damn beef” gloria mentions, “idiot”

“your man is in it too!” miguel defends,

“then you’re both idiots! he hasn’t shut up ever since euphoria dropped! can’t even suck his dick without him mumbling the lyrics non-stop”

miguel furrows, glancing at beck for a second before moving back to look at gloria. “okay that’s weird—you’re staying tonight, muñeca?”

head shaking, you almost feel bad at the deflated look on his face. “can’t baby—i’ll sleep over on a thursday, okay?”

“but whyyy” he whines, unbeknownst to gloria wincing in disgust before she moves away from the two of you. “you never say no”

“finals week, handsome” you move a piece of dampen hair that clings against his forehead. “i have to study and i’m tutoring too now, remember?”

“why can’t you study here then?” he moves closer to you. “in my room—together”

“miguel it’s for my english lit class, not sex ed” you roll your eyes. “you have me any other day, aren’t you bored?”

“blasphemy—again” he disagrees. “i get bored without you” a pout form on his lips in which you admit looking awfully cute that you almost cave in. “plus what am i supposed to hump? my pillow? i need sex! with you!”

you grimace. “you need a therapy, miggy”

[writer-of-the-lamb]

unholy alliance.

lamb : before you scream-

narinder : lamb.

lamb : i said before you scre-

narinder : how have you done that.

lamb, sweating : i don't know, i just, like, sneezed and-

narinder : oh, god, please remove it. i dislike its eyes. very much.

lamb : motherfucker i'm trying, i-

goat : h̷̡̞͓̤͙͗̂̉̀͝ḙ̷̡͇̯́͌͋̉̓ͅḷ̴̭̣̼̣̐̃͊͠͝ḽ̵̢̨̞̣̂̌̽̈́̕o̵̺̯̣͍̯͗̎̐͊́

lamb : OH MY GOD-

narinder : *HISSES*

goat : w̸̞̭͈͕͉͗̀͊̑͝h̵͎͈̬̻̩͛͆͒̂͝ÿ̵̭͖̲̹̹͛͗͛̽ ̷̞͕͉̹̦͛͊͑̎͘ḧ̸̢̛̦̦̟̬͑̍́ă̸̻̟̺̙̂́͂̓ͅv̸̢̰͚̳͒̆̽͌̀͜ę̶̣͈̪̱̆̅̆̈́͘ ̴̜̖͚̠̜͐̈͆̊̕ỳ̵̬̖̟͓̹̌͑͋̕ǫ̴̰͕̬͛͑̈̌̔ͅu̵̢̡̖͉̮̍͆̓̏͘ ̷̨̛̞̼̪̜̉́̒͊b̴͔͈̳͕̰̄̆̋̄͊r̵̢̛̭̗͖͎͗̈́̊̚ǫ̷̖̺̲̘̍̈́́̀͛u̵̩͚̞̺͒̐̂͜͝͠g̸̞̘͍͍̑͋̆̚͘ͅḩ̵͓̲̻̬͑̔͌̏̊ẗ̵̝͓͓̲̱͌͋̀̓ ̵̪͚̭̜̱͑̉̉̕̚m̸̧̗͚̪̪̽̑̍̚͝ě̶̟̗̰͚̘́̐̂̀ ̷̡͓͇̭͓͊̈́̿̈͠h̴̢̬̩͉̍̉͊̏̄͜e̷̡̛͙͚̪͆͑̉̂͜r̷̮̭͙̮̫̊̀͌̾͐ȩ̷͕̠̥͙́̓͐̈́͛.̶̨̖̖̣̼́̏̃̆͝

lamb : WHAT'S IT SAYING

narinder : W- I CANNOT SPEAK RUNE?

lamb : YOU SAID YOU WERE FLUENT

narinder : THAT WAS A SLIGHT EXAGGERATION ON MY BEHALF AND FOR THAT I APOLOGISE.

goat : i̸̺̰͔̪͉͐̉̓̈́͠ ̶̡̛̮̱̯̲̀͂́̈́f̵̼̥̲̗͊̎̀̓̚͜e̴̙̩̫̫̼̓̉̒͆̌ę̴̞̭̼̠̊͂̀̏̾l̷̪̦͍̪̙̓̽̆̍̋ ̴̺̳̮̼̟̉͒̃̈́̓b̶͎͉̫̦̜̈́̋͊̀͑l̸̲͖̪̝̝̄͛̍̚͝ǒ̸̟͍̖͍͈̐͌͒͝ò̴̜͉͓̮̒̍̑͜͠d̸͎̳̗͓̈́͂̔̔͊͜.̷̡̡͈̟̪̀̀̔̐͝ ̷̛̞̗̘̫͐̀̄̚ͅĩ̸̡͖͇̲̗̿̾̀̀ ̶͙̭͔̦̝̉́̑͆̍f̵̛̙̼̬̤̈́͊̽̈́ͅȇ̴̢͓͖͇̌̊̚͜͠e̶̪͕͍̬̲͒̑̋̔͠l̷̟̥̪̦̞͆̍̀̓̄ ̷̣̠͈̘̭̓̄̈̓̕d̷͔̙̝̺͍̽̃͘̚̕e̶̢̬̩̤̦͌͌̔͂͠v̸̤̪̼̜̦̀̉̈͌̄o̶̬͔̝̦͖̅̎̈̐͝t̷̪̼̲̟͈̀͂̊̕͝i̵̛̼͓͎̤̱̿͊͗̇ơ̶̢̜̱̯̹̋̀̿̓n̷̡̧͙͖̜̎͒̇̆̿.̷̢̖̪̟̲̈̈́̀͒̀

lamb, yanking the red crown off his head and shaking it : PLEASE BUDDY DO SOMETHING OH MY GOD

narinder, backing against the wall : NEVER HAVE I FELT THE NEED FOR A CRUCIFIX, YET HERE I AM.

lamb : YOU BLASPHEMOUS CHEATER-

goat : i̸̻͇̲̭̭̋̃́͒͠ ̶̪̺͕̯͔̾̆́̌̈́ç̸̱͚͓̺̃̔̓́̽õ̸͍̟̳͉̖̓͌̏͂m̸̨̛̦͎̳͔̓͂̑́e̸̛̠̰̘͉͙̓̈́͑̌ ̷̺̺̱͔͈̒̂̒͘͘i̶͍̘̩͕̲̓̊͆̽͠ń̴̜͖̜̫̗̇͆́̕ ̶̳͎̻̺͙͂̒͌̌̚p̸̡̲̲̯̗̑̈́́͑͠ę̸̨̗̺̝͆̄͌͛͘a̵̗̬̼͙͕̋̈̽̈́́c̸̖͙̱͉͓͆́͒͋̕ȅ̸͙͔̞̟̖͛͐̔̄ ̸̡̖̖̬̠̽̑̂̌̕f̵̩͖͉͓͍̒́̂̒̽ǒ̶̲̩̩̲̲̓̑̅͌r̶̡̨̫̰͍̂̅̚͝͝ ̶̤̠͓̗͕̆̅̄́̕c̷͕̬͇̞̦͐̀͛͝͠h̷̲̲̯̺̝̍̀̑̈̄ẫ̶̞͉͓̹̦͑̒͝o̵̢͕̥͚̬̓̄͂̊͐s̷͙̱̞̳̪̅̌́̈́̎.̶̹͎̥̼̌͌̓̋͝ͅ

lamb, waving his hands : EW MY GOD, STOP TALKING STOP TALKING STOP TALKING STO-

goat, summoning the purple crown from atop his head : t̴̢̳̟̲͚̉͆̄͘͘a̵̖͚̗̦̳̒̑̂͘͠-̶̥̦̞̞̜̌̈͐̽͐ḋ̶̡̛̺͇͙̞͊͐̊a̶̭̞̘̲̤̽̄̌͘̚

narinder : ....impossible....how- where? how could you possess...lamb, i strongly advise you to undo what has been brought here. this creature is not from our domain...or our dimension. our astral plane rejects its very being, i-

lamb, hands on hips : *gasp* now how'd your silly ass get shamura's crown!

narinder :

lamb : cheeky little pickpocket, aren't ya!

goat, grinning : ì̸̫̟̺̮̺̓̽̈́̓ ̶̢̝͕͓͚̅͑̃̀͠d̸̛͇̤̖̝̝͒́͛̒ą̸̞͍͈̥̄̔̈́̉͝ḅ̸̧̳̪͔̅̀͐̽͋b̷̨̛͖̜̲̣̌̅̍̀l̵̞̮̗̝͙͐̆̌̑̚e̷̗͙̻̓̈́̄̽̒ͅͅ ̶̖̭̘͙̝̀͗͂̚͠î̴̢͕͍̹̃̾͝͠ͅǹ̵̮͚̠͙̙͌̀͆̕ ̶̡̲͕͖̊͋͗̀̃͜t̴͕̯̫̒̄͊͗͜͜͠h̸̯̘͇͔̙͋͗̈̇͂ę̶̗̜̖̺̌̾̈̋͝ ̷̝̤͙̱͑̆̉̊́ͅā̴̢̡͎̜͙͗̓̒͆r̶̢̜͖͔̱̿̈́͊͗͝t̷͉͕͔̪͍̽̋̃̀͌

lamb : uh-huh! we'll work that one out later!

[residenthughes]

bottomless brunch & shitty one-liners

pairing: leon kennedy x gender neutral reader

word count: 959 😔

tags/warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, crack, reader is just a drunk horny bastard :)

summary: 2 hours. thirteen cocktails and a whole lot of chaos.

notes: ...hey 😭 i know i said i wouldn't be posting/maybe not posting but i was looking through my fic ideas and this happened. whoopsies! 🤭 honestly, this was just a silly idea i had because i came across a video of all the one-liners leon says in re4, which are very much present in this.

forgot to mention, there's biting...again 😭 i don't know what it is, but the urge to bite leon is quite real and that reflects in my fics 😁 hope y'all enjoy :)

You’re drunk, disgustingly so. Bottomless brunch is always a good way to spend time with your dearest, spilling intimate talk amidst intoxicated giggles and basking in the foreverness of formed friendships. However, they do not come without consequence - that being you an absolute state in front of Leon. Your dutiful long-time partner, ever so sweet as he spared the precious time he has off from his missions to pick you up from the wild affair - thirteen cocktails deep - sheepishly greeting your friends that holler sexual innuendos as he helps you into the car. He does it anyway, because he loves you. He loves you, he really does - but you’re chatting out of your ass right now. 

“You know, considering how you move around the house, you must be the GOAT at what you do,” you mumble, smushing your face into the pillow as you cause nothing but a ruckus as you discard your additional pieces of clothing on the bed. 

Sat on the bedroom bench, Leon shrugs his boots off, glancing over his shoulder at the mess you are. Stupidly drunk and struggling to shimmy off your jeans. Cute. “Oh, baby.”

“Those one-liners though…that’s a different story.”

The sweet moment is all but gone. “Gee, thanks honey.”

Despite the fact that there’s not a thought behind your eyes, you smile at his sarcasm. Snickering to yourself as you shimmy the last part of your jeans off before they’re lazily discarded onto the floor. You’ll (Leon will) pick it up later. “Honestly! Bet you’re the type of motherfucker to be confronted with unbelievable atrocities, only to say, it’s my lucky day or something.”

Leon huffs in amusement. He’s definitely said that before.

“Go on,” he decides to entertain your teasing, stripping himself of the leather jacket you went on and on about in the car looking so good on him. “What other one-liners do you think I say?”

You give a thoughtful hum, touching your chin as you lay back against the comfort of your shared bed. The time you take to answer has Leon taking a look back at you, questioning if you’d fallen into a drunken slumber, like a drunk middle aged uncle passed out on the couch, only to see your face flash as an idea pops into your head.

“Oh, how about something like, time for the teacher to be taught?”

It’s scary how well you know Leon. His most recent mission had him spewing the exact same words. It gives him goosebumps. “You sure you’re not reading my reports when I’m not looking?”

You giggle. “Just know how cheesy you can be, hon.”

“Now you’re just making fun of me.”

The laughter that erupts from you is unstoppable, so much so that you’re clenching your stomach and kicking your feet in the air. Leon can be so funny, so funny. You’re lucky to have him, you think.

Once you wipe your tears of laughter, you’re bringing yourself to sit upwards. Slowly, of course. Wouldn’t want to be sick all over the bed. Again. You move towards where Leon rests against the bedroom bench, draping your arms around his waist and you rest your cheek against his shoulder. “I kid, I kid. You know I love you.”

“Judging by what you’ve just said in the past two minutes, I’m not too sure.” He says, but he doesn’t mean it. He’s amused, if anything. You can tell by his amused smile and the playful raise of his eyebrows.

Your eyes skim over his features, carved to perfection and all yours. 

You hug him just a bit tighter.

“Come on,” you nudge him, all playful in his ear as you coax him to look your way. He does, smoulder melting into his features as he gazes at you with a fondness that’s all for you. You feel restless. Must be the alcohol kicking in. “There’s that pretty smile, handsome.”

“Handsome, huh?” 

You don’t know what it is, but the simple echo of your words coming from him sets you off, sending you on a collision course towards the ever so sinful and lustful domain.

“Extremely so,” you bat your eyelashes and nudge him again. “Come on, handsome. Look this way.”

He looks at you. His face on full display and you take your chance, kissing the edge of his lips before you misaim and bite down on his jaw. “What is with you?”

Leon’s chuckling as you kiss the bitten territory, kissing up and down his face in sweet apologies. Leon doesn’t miss when you bite down on his chin amidst the mess of kisses you leave.

“Can’t help it,” you murmur lazily, cheek pressed against his shoulder. “Too sexy - even your goddamn chin. Make it make sense.”

“Can’t believe that meme about your partner going out to bottomless brunch, only to come back a horny bastard is true.” Leon talks to himself but you perk up anyways, glimmer in your eyes.

“You saw the memes I sent you?”

“‘Course I did,” Leon answers, placing a brief kiss against your temple. You relax into his touch. “I do other things besides say shitty one-liners on my missions.”

You smile, ever so grateful for the place Leon holds in your life. You couldn’t imagine it any other way. “How romantic.”

“Only for you, baby.”

You hum against the exposed skin of his shoulder, peering up at the man with a devious glimmer in your eyes. Leon can’t help but shake his head as he airs out a small chuckle. 

“So, about the meme,” you wiggle your eyebrows, pressing your body up against Leon’s wide back, grin as mischievous as ever. “How about we put it to practise?”

And you do, making another mess of your sheets this time around. 

[mybelovedintrepidheroes]

my fave bits of some dimension 20 campaigns in no particular order:

fantasy high: fig calling goldenhoard godlenrod and keeping saying that he's into her and also riz "the ball" gukgak

fantasy high sophomore year: the goddamn crustacean themed party & chungledown bimothy trying to shit in fabians mouth, also fabians gramps not being able to pronounce gorgugs name another addition: gilear the chosen one

a starstruck odyssey: the ball is rolling up! a late addition: the pleasure putty, like just the premise of it

a court of fey and flowers: the shenanigans of the cousins and also the green hunter specifically, like how they just kept coming back to it was so fucking funny

the unsleeping city 1: juicy cockroach and spicy pigeon also just that steven sondheim was just there and that one kinky dude who just puts shit up his butt

the unsleeping city 2: ricky licking his dog back??? also that dude putting stuff up his ass being able to cast identify thru his fucking butthole dhshjs

a crown of candy: "i wanna get slammed big style" and that obsession with shitting in front of other people

misfits and magic: mess with the goat feel the horns also, not really a bit i think but jammers fucking familiar being a goddamned basketball, just straight up a basketball 😭

neverafter so far: "I'm the prince of shoeberg motherfucker" also pib and pinocchio just gaslighting bandlebridge and rosamund and ylfa checking on shit anywhere they find it snsna

[astralmlm]

honestly its time for autistic & adhd trans masc positivity. yall motherfuckers are braver than ANY US marine. binders are the ultimate sensory hell and yall be spending ALL DAY! in a binder! every day! in these sausage casing ass scraps of Evil Polyester. fr yall are the goats youre so strong and sexy for surviving this shit keep it going kings

[benewol]

beat the shit out of them [Vin Jin x Reader]

this work is heavily influenced by @wannaeatramyeon 's works, especially her unhinged reader fic featuring vin!! no warnings, reader can also be considered genderneutral as far as im concerned just a bunch of cussing tbh. hope you enjoy :))

"Vin Jin."

...

"Hey, Vin Jin."

...

"I'm fucking talking to you!"

The next thing he feels is a harsh smack on the back of his head as he quickly catches himself before the chair can tip over.

"The fuck do you want?! Fucking crazy ass bitch," he rubs the now throbbing, sore spot you gave him, face scrunching up as usual.

Dramatic motherfucker.

"If you didn't tint your glasses over so much you wouldn't be getting smacked. You would've seen me preparing to swing, too," you smirk in retaliation, your arms moving from their crossed position to resting next to your sides while you're leaning against his table.

He merely sends you what you think is probably supposed to be a nasty glare and re-positions his legs on that same table, nudging your back with his polished sneakers.

So you continue talking.

"Mary's been trying to gesture for you to leave the classroom without making a commotion, you know."

"Okay, and?"

"Your bff needs you and that's all you can say? Really?" You roll your eyes.

"Can't be so important if it only took you to solve it."

"Fuck off."

"Lol, you first."

"Sure. Tell me why you keep tinting your glasses and I will."

His eyes furrow inquisitively.

"I don't need to do shit. Class is starting soon so you need to move your fat ass soon anyway, might as well do it immediately," his smug smile one of those you'd love to fill with a pile of some of his ridiculous sheets of lyrics crumpled up.

That's a good idea. You're adding that to your list titled 'what would piss vincent the fuck off'.

"Your sense of time is, unsurprisingly, tremendously shit. We have another half an hour left, you moron," you reach out your hand to flick his wide forehead, which he now sees coming and dodges, catching himself before falling yet again.

What a fucking loser, you shake your head and keep yourself from succumbing to laughter.

"Whatever. I'm not showing you shit."

"Come on. I'm sure whatever it is you're blowing it out of proportion," you reach out again to touch his glasses.

He reaches out too. To stop your hand from moving towards his sunglasses. And his grip is not as harsh as you'd expected it to be.

"Stop it. If you see it, I'll have to kill you."

"See what? You're being so ominous. Do you have weird rectangular pupils like goats or what?"

He sputters for a moment.

"That'd be funny."

"The fuck?"

"You could come up with a line like 'my eyes are like those of a goat, yeah, I'm the GOAT'," you press your lips together to stop the laughter from spilling out of your mouth.

That line was good.

He won't tell you that, though, because you were way too close to uncovering the truth.

He huffs, turning his head away from you and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

What he doesn't know is that his oh-so-clever self forgot to re-tint his glasses.

This in turn means the sun's rays hit his lenses so nicely you were able to catch a tiny glimpse of his two grey irises and the resulting pupils in his left eye.

Your breath catches in your throat.

A soft gasp makes his head turn back to you, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"What's that? Pulling a stupid line like that and immediately growing quiet?" He mumbles to mask his alarm.

You hum, and he notices your solemn expression, making him grow apprehensive.

"Weren't you Cheonliang's number one?"

"Still am."

"And Allied's number two?"

"Yeah."

"How come you don't just lose the shades and simply beat the shit out of anyone who comments on your eyes, then?"

He stares at you. Still occasionally having rubbed the wound you'd inflicted on the back of his head, he loosens his arms which were crossed behind it.

Placing them on his thighs, he balls his fists.

"Shut up."

He abruptly stands up and moves towards the door, shaking the table you were leaning against, making you furrow your brows in irritation.

Typical.

At least you'll know where to find him.

If things don't go his way, he'll just lock himself in the boys' bathroom and listen to one of Duke's albums.

You don't intend letting him flee the scene this time, though.

"Don't you dare run away now."

He doesn't know why, but he halts in his steps.

"Or else what, pipsqueak?"

He turns back towards you.

"Your eye adds to your nonexistent charm."

...

"Hello?"

...

"Earth to Vincent?" You wave your hand in front of his shielded eyes.

Turning on his heel, he doesn't leave without wanting to have the last word.

"Fucking weirdo, I don't need your pity."

"Asshole, I'm not pitying you!!"

What you fail to see is the faintest of rose-coloured blushes on Vin's cheeks as he puckers his lips, absentmindedly scratching at his lenses while sauntering down the hallway.

[twwings]

Big Festivids Recs Post!

Last weekend was the big Festivids GoLive, which meant the release into the wild of 160 brand new small fandom vids (aka fanvids, edits, etc.) Right now the collection's anonymous, but tomorrow is vidder reveals, so I wanted to write up a recs post for some of my absolute favourites from this year's collection. If you know Yuletide, well, Festivids is like Yuletide, celebrating small/weird/underappreciated fandoms! It's an exchange fest, so people ask for the small fandom vids of their heart and, then, receive one.

Honestly the collection this year is SO high quality, you should really go and browse the works yourself in their entirety; there are so many vids that I absolutely loved that I didn't put on this recs list, because I was trying not to get carried away (and also trying to get it done). But just to get you started, here are a smattering of my favourites. I tried to represent a bunch of vid genres and source types here, but ultimately it's just my taste.

RECS RECS RECS!

Andor: Level Up

AHHHH this is a vid about Andor and fascism and collective action and One Way Out and it's so gorgeously done. Perfect song choice, perfect vid, makes me cry and I will rewatch it many times.

Andor: be ready and be brave

Focusing on Ferrix, its history, its people, and its revolution. Absolute chills. Also I'm SO happy whenever I get to watch a vid to a Mountain Goats song.

Mosquita y Mari: como siempre soñé

Such a sweet, soft, slow romance vid. I ACHED for these two. Like reading a 300k slowburn but in three and a half minutes.

Dropout TV: Nothing in my Head

The Dropout TV vid of my DREAAAAAMS! (largely Game Changer but with lots of stuff in there!)

Taskmaster UK: Blood in the Cut

UHHHH. IT'S AMAZING??? It's hot and raw and kinky and hardcore. the vidder has the delicate, precise touch of a bloody scalpel. Yes, this is a vid for Taskmaster, the UK show where comedians do silly tasks. Because yeah, it's that show, but it's also this show.

Slash/Back: Uja

This vidder KNOWS how to vid horror. The way this vid cuts the most terrible images to make them barely-there, more horrifying for being rough slaps against my consciousness . . . yikes. Amazing vidding, super cool and scary, while also maintaining the uplifting, kickass, hopeful tone you want from a collective-action horror movie.

Janelle Monae: I Like That

Glorious, joyful, sexy celebration of being a free-ass motherfucker.

Star Trek: Lower Decks: Hard Times

Boimler vid about how he's essentially a redshirt who is just slightly too sweet to actually die. Absolutely adorable and hilarious.

Woman King: Upside Down

Absolute BANGER of a vid, great cuts, great movement, great character arc and great Dahomey women being amazing.

Romeo + Juliet: Magnetic

We all agree Harold Perrineau is the best Mercutio, SO, with that in mind, here is a flawless celebration of the best Mercutio.

Knives Out/Glass Onion: 'Til You Hit a Nerve

Brilliant comparison vid putting Marta from the first film together with Helen and Andi from the second one, drawing out the similarities and dissimilarities in a visual feast and with a badass powerwalk. Nothing not to love!

David Cronenberg's Films: body

This one is phenomenal. It takes David Cronenberg's entire filmography and condenses it into a vid about all the sexualized body horror. It is deeply horny and deeply disturbing and deeply fascinated by every single finger going into a hole in a body that shouldn't be there. It's soft and tentative and it's very graphic and violent, all at once.

The Wheel of Time: Velodrome

Tower politics and circularity and being bound to one another in every good way and every bad way; what a beautiful vid. I love how this is about a place, and about how that place draws these people together over and over in their shared experience and love and trauma.

The Midnight Sky: The Laughing Heart

Absolutely gorgeous vid of the film to a spoken word + music rendition of Charles Bukowski's "The Laughing Heart" (there is a light somewhere). I have not seen this film but I found this vid deeply moving.

Moby Dick: Queequeg and I

There are four (FOUR!!!) Moby Dick vids at Festivids this year, and they are all amazing combinations of a huge smorgasboard of sources, I heartily recommend them all, but I'll specifically rec two. This one is Queequeg and Ishmael to "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and it is the sweetest queerest thing ever. Queequeg and Ishmael get a happy ending shhhhh they do shhhhh yes this is how it happened they came out of the water they're fine

Moby Dick: a vulture feeds upon the heart forever

This vid is a fucking masterpiece. It is a huge archival multisource Moby Dick vid that weaves all these incredibly different visual together to make a coherent, tragic narrative. And like. The BOOK is not a coherent narrative! This is such gorgeous and amazing fanwork. Don't miss out on it.

Women's 100m Sprinting: Didn't Come to Play

This is GORGEOUS, I don't know anything about sprinting but I know I love these beautiful joyful powerful women running really fast and hugging each other and being amazing. The editing on this is so tight; the vid never stops for a second. Like a sprint?!?!?!

The Golem and the Jinni: סיפור הגולם

This is another book vid, but since this book doesn't have any adaptations, it's using entirely archival source and probably some documentaries and films to construct the story - or, really, construct the vibe of the book, construct the metaphors of the book, and the result is beautiful and powerful and meditative. It's about survival, and making life.

Jesus Christ Superstar: Hope on Fire

This is another umbrella vid, where the vidder is taking a bunch of different productions of the play and mashing them together. This vid focuses on Judas and Jesus/Judas, and it all feels so inevitable and tragic and real and cruel. I really loved it.

Jordan Peele's Films: Goodbye, Honey, You Call That Gone

This is such a wonderful mashup of Jordan Peele's three films, exploring all the parallels and differences and just the rich tapestry of his imagery.

猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin: Put It On Me

I don't know this source but this was just so gorgeously put together; there's a focus on art and art objects, on hands moving and creating, that's just mesmerizing.

[beevean]

It's genuinely amazing how Ellis actually had a helluva lot more care in making sure that his goat fucking jokes survived the numerous rewrites that the original movie project that eventually became S1 went through, than making sure he was writing something coherent to the source material. It's not even a joke nor an exaggeration, his own blog posts since 2007 show as much

Motherfucker had 10 years to get acquainted to the games' lore and the best he could do was half ass a wiki search

It's okay. He knew that fans would simply bleat "the games have always been inconsistent" so he focused on the things that truly mattered: his own quirks and kinks :)

Man, writing videogame adaptations sounds like the dream. You can be uncaring or actively spiteful and you'll be celebrated for your genius and for fixing the stupid source materials. Fanfic writers who care about canon are such dumbasses!

[aqours]

imagine surviving the death house, old bonegrinder, the feast, a dun full of werewolves, a fucking evil-ass giant tree, all of strahd's minions, motherfucking baba lysaga, and even a giant man-eating bird only to meet your end because a goat yeeted you off a bridge at Tsolenka Pass

[wehaveagathering]

list of flyers that need to be on the 24-25 team or i will be going after john tortorella and i will not stop until i Get Him

travis konecny. this man is philadelphia incarnate. he is holy. he is seeing the gates of heaven. there is no one like him in the known universe and then some. TEE KAY.

garnet hathaway. pretty sure this man is on a two year contract so we should be good but i dont care i love him and he knows what bisexual erasure is and hes so smart and he likes pesto and burrata and indie music and he’s so much fun to watch and he’s my emotional support fourth liner and he is such a flyer at heart and the city loves him ok ok ok

morgan frost. i am being so serious he is so good at hockey. i might go after john tortorella anyway for benching him so often. morgan please come back next year just goated just absolute crazy sloppy style and go completely insane on the ice. that’s my playmaker

joel farabee. i know. i KNOW he didnt have the best season. but he’s beezer. he’s a leader and a mentor and a friend and an older brother and he CARES SO MUCH and he scores joals! sometimes!! that should be enough, john.

bobby brink and tyson foerster. BONDED PAIR DO NOT SEPARATE. do u understand me. they were rookies together and theyre gonna retire together. john tortorella i know you’re keeping foerster around. if you do not keep thee bobby orr brink on your team we are having WORDS

SCOTT LAUGHTON. SCOTT. LAUGHTON. john tortorella if scott laughton is not on this team come october 10, 2024 i am marching my ass to vorhees and we are having words

egor zamula. i love him ur honor. that’s my baby russian and i think he’s wonderful. no i dont care about his stats

flyers we don’t have to worry about:

owen tippett. eight years

ivan fedotov. after all of that?? NO WAY. one year contract for 800k. sign it tomorrow daniel

cam york. LMAO there is no way that man is leaving after this season

ersson who signed a contract extension last year 🥰

ryan poehling

NICK SEELER!!

jamie motherfucking DRYSDALE. those fuckers are invested in his success now

flyers i want GONE

marc jacob staal

cam atkinson. sorey bud

our powerplay coach

local cryptid ryan ellis

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: offensive jokes (a joke about someone who is no longer alive), swearing, suggestive, milfs, (also this is shorter than the usual)

Desc: not really a description but i forgot that Chifuyu is like super rude sometimes so i'ma amp that up to 50 (this is completely irrelevant to the chapter, my bad)

Smiley: Chifuyu c'mon dude i didn't mean to

Chifuyu: literally never come to my house again

Smiley: but it was an accident😐

Chifuyu: you almost drowned Peke J in a washing machine Smiley! how is that a fucking accident

Draken: lmao

Draken: wait no is the cat okay?

Chifuyu: lmao????

Chifuyu: this is 'lmao' to you, Draken??

Draken: that's my bad dude

Mikey: LMAO

Mitsuya: has anyone heard of the term direct message

Chifuyu: Mitsuya-kun i'm not in the mood rn

Mitsuya: yeah neither am i, message each other privately jesus fucking christ

Smiley: nah y'all gotta listen to my side of the story

Smiley: ayt so i'm helping Matsuno-san out around the house right?

Smiley: and lemme tell you

Smiley: it's easy to get distracted around her yk

Takemitchy: yeah actually

Chifuyu: what does that mean?

Takemitchy: um

Takemitchy: nothing bro 😅

Chifuyu: Smiley

Smiley: she's a milf

Smiley: i'd be down to smash fr she's hot as hell

Angry: what's hot as hell is the seat reserved for you in hell😠

Angry: don't say that about our friends mom

Smiley: Baji's mom too but like i'm actually scared of her and she looks exactly like him so it'd be weird

Angry: you're not listening!

Draken: you don't have any shame at all?

Smiley: none whatsoever

Mikey: if someone called my mom a milf i'd kill myself

Chifuyu: isn't she dead

Chifuyu: guess she turned the tables

Chifuyu: cause she's the angel now

Chifuyu: not you

Chifuyu: do you get it 😐

Mikey: ...😧

Mikey: BRO??????

Mitsuya: uncalled for

Hakkai: he's giggling actually

Draken: why was that necessary 💀

Kazutora: i think it's about time Mikey gets rationed

Hakkai: *ratioed

Kazutora: yeah since this time he brought this up on himself, even i don't go up to Chifuyu when he's in a bad mood

Kazutora: he said i have pupils like goats

Kazutora: idek what that means

Kazutora: so essentially it's his fault

Kazutora: get it?

Kazutora: cause it's Mikey's fault 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Draken: ...

Mitsuya: ...

Hakkai: ....

Baji: ....

Kazutora: too soon?

Kazutora: ayt

Kazutora: my apologies 👉👈

Chifuyu: i'm sorry i'm a little agitated rn

Smiley: anyway 😁

Smiley: Peke J blends in with your mom's fake fur coat idk what else to tell you

Chifuyu: HE IS A LIVE ANIMAL YOU MOTHERFUCKER

Smiley: be careful what you call me son😋

Chifuyu: Smiley

Smiley: ig your fucking cat was sleeping cause i didn't see no live cat

Smiley: and chill out, your negatives vibes are ruining my sunny aura 😁

Baji: what's this about Peke J almost dying

Baji: i will not only kill the person responsible but also myself

Baji: don't fucking do this to me i am hanging on by a thread

Mikey: schools really kicking your ass huh

Mikey: get a tutor

Baji: they all leave

Smiley: that is so fucking funny, holy shit

Angry: SMILEY 😡

Hakkai: Angry do you genuinely think using a different 'angry' emoji colour is gonna have indifferent effect?

Hakkai: c'mon now 😕

Baji: i'ma beat the shit out of you

Baji: Chifuyu let's tag team him

Kazutora: he's crying

Baji: understandable

Smiley: y'all try and catch me fr😁👊