thelastlightningbug

[thelastlightningbug]

[me performing grounding ritual] okay name 1 person that would die to be you, 3 people that would die to fuck you, and 5 people that would die to kill you

[thelastlightningbug]

Pro tip! If someone ever says they would fuck their own clone, you can make the conversation different by saying you'd also fuck their clone.

[thelastlightningbug]

just saw a student shadow cast production of rocky horror where they pretended to fuck frank n furter with such vigor that they broke the table

[thelastlightningbug]

my thing with calling strangers eggs is like. if it's a dude saying "of course i'd rather be a girl, everyone wants to be a girl" okay yeah that's an egg. but if it's a dude wearing skirts and mascara and having hobbies like cross stitching and you're calling him an egg? you've wrapped back around to sexism. you've done a full pivot into "pink is for girls and blue is for boys" and you're actually the problem. cut it out. stop telling (gnc) people they're secretly trans because "a real woman would never like football!" come on.

[thelastlightningbug]

keep seeing this guy on instagram who hatches incredibly tiny baby quails and then makes videos of them where he happens to also have the most obscenely anatomically shrink wrapped pairs of shorts on and the entire comment section is super horny. and i would normally be like “let’s not sexually harass this bird guy who clearly wants us to focus on the birds” but he must have been going commando in at least one of those because i could see the definition between the head and the shaft through his shorts and he always squats with the camera pointed straight at his crotch so now i’m left scratching my head about mr big dick tiny birds

[thelastlightningbug]

to the painter who’s about to take advice from a post: the “mother color” theory will make your paintings look muddy!! when it works (which isn’t in every situation) it’s much more applicable to graphic design where there’s like 4 really bright colors in a design max. if you want your paintings to have a restrained pallette that still looks vibrant and exciting you need to work with a limited pallette (only using a few colors of paint and mixing everything from that) rather than mixing a little of one color into all your paints.

[thelastlightningbug]

i love having friends with favorite colors & shit so i can just send them random crap like yess this is pink ill show it to the pink friend this has a fish ill show it to the fish friend. fish is a color btw

[thelastlightningbug]

every time my college offers the "zines" class which relies on adobe indesign i feel a deep sense of shame at the upper class liberal arts institution i've chosen to attach myself to

[thelastlightningbug]

ID: About me: Terrible at head, intolerable, don’t know how to JO circumcised 🍆, too scared to bottom, rarely hard enough to top, too sensitive to smells, my internal monologue gets too loud when I make out etc a bunch of other stuff. don’t pmo. End ID

[thelastlightningbug]

for the record silky spaghetti strap bias cut slips look good on every body type and if anyone tries to tell you any different they’re a hater and a loser and you can ignore their opinion immediately, if that makes you feel happy you should wear it

just got recommended a “tumblr community” for self-described coquette ana 90s fashion girlies so pack it up everyone 2014 tumblr is back like a shambling, reanimated, calorie-counting corpse

[thelastlightningbug]

just got recommended a “tumblr community” for self-described coquette ana 90s fashion girlies so pack it up everyone 2014 tumblr is back like a shambling, reanimated, calorie-counting corpse

[thelastlightningbug]

Maybe being good at social media should not be the main qualifier for all creative work

[thelastlightningbug]

i hate fashion spotting blogs that are clearly really about the admin(s) flexing their ability to recognize designer clothing. drip has no price point

[thelastlightningbug]

so glad joni mitchell was my top artist on spotify this year i was prepared to post a public apology for liking hole

[thelastlightningbug]

they dont do recency bias like they used to

[thelastlightningbug]

to save me from being trapped at a train station for 4 hours today after a delayed train caused a missed bus connection, one of my friends (who normally doesn’t have a car but had the family car today due to thanksgiving break) picked me up and actually i am no longer embarrassed by my own questionable driving. i watched this man, entirely reliant on the backup camera, nearly reverse forward and backward into other cars while trying to parallel park so severely that the car shut itself off repeatedly (newer electric car with proximity sensors) so he wouldn’t collide. he drove so far to the right of the lane that on two lane roads he’d be partially in the shoulder. he missed nearly every single turn we directed him to, sometimes twice. i heard a story about him and a friend getting t boned at an intersection a long time ago and chalked it up to bad luck, like an idiot running a red, but i actually believe this man may never have learned to make a left turn properly. never doing that again and when i have the chance to get my own car out here i’m gonna be such a reliable driver my friends feel like they could take a nap in my car & wake up where we were headed like beautiful little children on a family trip in american car propaganda i mean advertisements