#the glass of milk is an exaggeration but

[ninyard]

ABOUT LACTOSE INTOLERANT ANDREW. sorry i saw it and got so excited because while i don’t think im intolerant i do have Some sort of issue going on… with milk…. but anyways i tried lactose free milk for the first time while visiting family and it was so good like i can actually eat cereal or have a glass of milk if i want to without feeling like shit the rest of the day ALL THIS TO SAY. the monsters only start buying lactose free milk but they CANNOT get nondairy ice cream. andrew just refuses <3

Like personally I’m a big oat milk guy. I’m not lactose intolerant per say but I can be sensitive to having too much dairy so I’m glad that I just honestly prefer oat milk in things because it’s just nicer to me tbh

But can you imagine someone trying to hand Andrew some lactose free cheese. If Andrew asked anybody in his life to bring him back some ice cream and they brought him back some lactose free ice cr**m he’d never speak to them again. I think he could tolerate the milk if the others refused to buy normal milk but there’s no way he’d go out of his way to buy alternatives for himself.

If they went out to a restaurant and someone told him not to get a starter because it has cheese in it he would go on to order a glass of milk with his main alongside the creamiest carbonara to ever exist followed by an ice cream sundae the size of his head. Andrew Minyard will NOT be told what to do (and he will severely regret it later)

[pergaminaa]

I think milk is another thing that they don't agree on.

Aelin, Dorian and possibly even Chaol have no problems with drinking milk. Idk they seem to be like those people you know? Especially Dorian and Aelin because while reading, nothing beats snacking on cookies and a cold glass of milk because they're silly like that.

Manon (and the rest of the witches) is the opposite. They'd visibly flinch at the sight of someone drinking milk casually and honestly, Dorian thought the witches are being dramatic and he turned to Manon because she is different (they like to mess with him this is why he confirms things with Manon). However, she was reacting exactly the same way because ew this thing is disgusting and just the thought of it was enough to make her feel nauseous (but Dorian didn't think her being dramatic she's just being herself).

[realbeefman]

miss jack griffin need to dunk him in milk🥛

i keep opening up my askbox to answer asks but then i see this one and i get distracted. because what does this mean. what sort of response am i supposed to have. am i meant to comment on this? was i just meant to see it? is it sexual? is this a like. a metaphor for jizzing on jack griffin's face? i don't know. i need to answer this just so i can banish it from my mind forever and stop pondering it.

[calxide]

⸻ SLEEPLESS NiGHTS 💤

kazuha x gn!reader | 500+ words ; no pronouns used for the reader. i, literally, cannot sleep so i wrote this fic pls help. written in lowercase. not proofread pls just let me sleep already. words: milk, punch are mentioned. sleeping tgt. god when will i have this. just pure fluff, some brainrot, and definitely no sleep for me.

“i can't sleep.”

it's past two in the morning, yet here you are, standing in front of a dazed, closed-eyed kazuha — a plushie in your arms, blanket on your shoulders, and an oversized pajama.

kazuha tried his best to force his eyes open. but he fails, so he just sends you a smile.

“come in.” kazuha almost hit his head on the doorframe when he turned around to make way for you to get in.

you plopped yourself comfortably on his sofa. “sorry, i had a terrible sleeping schedule last week. now, i can't get it out of my system.”

you've been pulling all-nighters last week because of the hell-stack of schoolworks you had to do, and now, you couldn't bring yourself to sleep, so you decided it's best to show up at your best friend's door at 2 am since you live in the same building anyway.

kazuha chuckled and went to the kitchen. “milk?”

“sure… i'll take anything to make me pass out.”

“a punch then?” he joked.

“why not?”

a few minutes later, he comes back with two glasses of milk in his hands. “here you go, sleepyhead.”

“you're the sleepy one here, dummy.”

“fake it til you make it, they say,” he joked and took a sip from his glass.

as soon as you both finished drinking, kazuha offered to bring it in the sink. after a while, he came back with a blanket enough to fit you two in—enough to cover the sofa you were sitting on.

you raised an eyebrow as if asking what's his plan for the night. kazuha simply shrugged, sat beside you again and covered you.

the blanket was fluffy. it was warm to be under the blanket, and even warmer with kazuha by your side.

you noticed him drifting off. kazuha has been a victim of your sleepless nights for quite awhile now, but he doesn't seem to mind. sometimes he'd ask you to tell him stories so your problems would come off your chest, sometimes he'd be the one to tell tales for you to fall asleep.

but tonight, kazuha's clearly tired, he's completely dozing off. his head was hanging and you're worried he might actually fall off the sofa.

“you can sleep on my shoulder, you know,” you whispered your offer. “or like, just lay your head on the sofa.”

without thinking much, kazuha immediately made himself comfortable using your shoulder as his pillow. you wondered if he had forgotten you were the one who he was supposed to help fall asleep.

although, you don't really mind. sometimes, it's not bad to lend a shoulder to a friend, literally.

you and kazuha just stayed like that for who knows how long — it was quiet, the comforting kind, with the only source of noise coming from the air-conditioner.

you examined his peaceful sleeping face. kazuha looked beautiful as he always does.

you smiled as you felt your heart flutter. ah, silly thoughts.

“good night, kazu,” you mumbled.

you planted a kiss on kazuha's hair, then laid your head on top of his. yawning, you finally felt the melatonin kicking in. and so, you drifted off to dreamland.

kazuha shifted his position a bit and smiled as if he was dreaming. “sweet dreams, y/n.”

NOTE hello hahahahaha 5 months in in 2024 and im back just because my eyebags are insanely bad and i havent had an 8-hour sleep since god knows when (exaggerated but u get my point) plzzz wait for me school is almost done. thanks hope i can fall asleep now... p.s. i havent written anything for so long now so i apologize...

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Precaution

Moon boys x afab!reader

Wanna get tagged?

Summary: You feel like starting to get sick. The boys take action.

Content: Marc being Marc, Jake feeds reader at first, wholesome.

A/n: Felt like getting a cold couple days ago but it turned out to be nothing but a stuffed nose and some sneezing. Welp.

You woke up with a throat drier than sand, a full nose and feet as cold as ice.

Steven was sleeping perfectly fine next to you with his face buried in his pillow.

As bad as you wanted to just shove your feet into Steven's blanket, your dry throat made you want to drink liters of water.

With a soft groan, popping your bones and putting socks on, you got up and headed into the kitchen.

The clock along your way showed 2:45 AM. An ungodly time for an ungodly feeling.

In the kitchen the first thing you did was downing two and a half glasses of water.

Your throat was feeling so much better with all the water, but your nose was still stuffed so you grabbed some tissue and took care of it.

Both nostrils breathing in fresh air. The best feeling.

Just a second later you heard the soft padding of feet approaching the kitchen.

When he came into view, he was rubbing his eyes.

"Hi luv." Steven spoke up with a sleepy voice.

"Hi." you smiled.

Steven went to the fridge, opening it and grabbing the milk. "It's like 3 AM, can't sleep?" he asked, pouring milk in a glass and putting it back in the fridge.

You shrugged, "Woke up with a dry throat."

Steven eyed you with worry, sipping on his milk. "Don't catch a cold now."

You gave a smile. "Nope."

"Did you open the window again? Maybe that's why."

"Yeah... but only for five minutes... well, until I fell asleep." you admit sheepishly.

Steven shot a lazy smirk. "Oh wow."

You shrug. "Anyways, I'm heading back to sleep, you coming?"

He nodded, putting the glass down and followed you back into bed.

"See you in the mornin' love." he smiled, giving you a peck on the cheek before he fell asleep.

You moved closer to him, feeling how so much warmer he is compared to your blanket.

A cheeky smile tugged on your lips, your ice cold feet inching closer into his blanket, immediately feeling his heat.

Wanting more heat, you slipped both feet inside, brushing them against his feet.

He jumped at the cold feeling. "What's that thing!?" it wasn't Steven anymore, instead it was Marc now.

You snort. "That thing is my feet."

Marc turned to face you. "Shit, you're really catching a cold, huh?"

"No, my feet are just cold!" you argue, slipping your feet under Marc's.

Marc pulled his covers up and reached out to pull you close, bringing the covers back down over you. "Fine, let me warm you up."

You immediately melt into the heat he provided. "Much better, thanks."

He pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around you. "You know, you could have asked." he chuckled.

In mere seconds you were out cold thanks to the warmth.

Couple hours later you woke up to an empty bed. Feeling refreshed, you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and sitting up.

The smell of vegetables was in the air, some herbs and even chicken.

Then the door opened and Jake came in.

"Ooh, getting sick now, sweetheart?"

You blinked confused at him. "Um? No?"

"Dry throat, stuffed nose and cold feet are a mean sign of catching a cold."

"But I'm feeling perfectly fine.."

Jake grins. "Until it comes back with a smack."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

He shrugged. "Precautions, sweetheart."

You smile. "Jake, I appreciate your offer but really, I'm feeling good." you said softly.

"No no no, you will thank us for it, trust me." Jake insisted.

Your nose was stuffed some more. "Pwease, don't work your asses off just because of me." you sniffled.

Jake grins again. "Mi amor, when our girl gets sick we of course do everything we can to get her well fast."

You sniffled again, pouting at him.

"Ay, we're just trying to prevent you from getting sick." Jake walked over to you to pinch your side playfully.

"Jake!" you threw an exaggerated pout, watching Jake proceeding to the door.

"You wait here, we bring everything when it's done!" he smirks over his shoulder before disappearing again.

About 10 minutes later, Jake returned with a plate of soup and steaming tea.

"Sit up sweetheart, you're getting fed." Jake smiled, putting the plate down on the nightstand, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Jake please, I feel awful with you pampering me." you chuckle.

"Ah-ah. No complaints." Jake playfully wagged his finger.

You sat up against the headboard. "The soup smells delicious." you smile.

Jake spooned up some soup, blowing a bit and moved it close to your lips. "Marc and I made the soup." Jake smirked.

Parting your lips, you leaned in a bit, allowing Jake to guide the spoon into your mouth. "You and Marc are a dangerous compilation." you chuckle as Jake moved the spoon out.

The herbs mixed with the vegetables hit your tastebuds, the chicken lingering in your mouth after swallowing.

Jake chuckles, "But it's good, huh?" he got another spoonful of soup to your lips.

"Delicious." you parted your lips, letting Jake feed you.

"Oh and Steven made the tea. Green tea." he grins, pulling the spoon out, spooning up soup again.

You made a face and parted your lips. "Ugh, green tea."

"Don't worry, he put honey in it so it won't taste that gross." he fed you again, then put the spoon down and got up.

"Now, eat that soup and drink the tea. And don't fool us, or you will get sick." Jake smiled, flicking your nose then left the room.

You ate the soup in peace, feeling warmed up well and full.

Later, Steven checked in on you, seeing the soup and tea already empty.

"All done, luv?" he smiled widely.

Nodding, you pulled the covers up your chin. "Yes, I already feel better, thanks." you smiled contently.

"That's wonderful. Now since you're feeling better, how 'bout we just lounge around on the couch, watch your favorite show?"

"Can we rewatch The Mandalorian?" you grin.

"Of course." Steven smiled.

You followed him into the living room, sitting down while Steven went into the kitchen.

When he came back, he brought some snacks and set everything up.

You immediately knew Marc was back.

He flipped the remote control in his hands as if it was a blaster, doing the same pose and motion of Mando shooting.

"Alright, who's ready for some Mando action?"

---------------------------

Taglist: @nekoyin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[demigodsanswer]

Percabeth + coffee shop au + holiday au?

The holiday part of this is a bit squint and you miss it. I meant for there to be more, but alas.

Percy had wanted to open up a bakery, but a coffee shop that sold pastries seemed more lucrative. In hindsight, he was glad he made that choice. He wasn't sure Annabeth ever would have stepped inside if he only sold apple turnovers and cupcakes.

She came in every morning, dressed like a young professional, her hair back in a ponytail usually, high heels sticking out of her purse, flat shoes on her feet. When she got in line, Percy knew to start making her soy latte extra shot before she even made it to the register. Sometimes he slipped one of their vegan brownies in too, on the house.

(He never asked if she was vegan or if soy milk was just a taste thing, but his ex was lactose intolerant. Last thing he wanted to do was ruin her day.)

"Thanks Percy," she said, grabbing her drink seconds after paying for it. He handed her the brownie, in a clear sleeve with their "vegan" sticker on it. She smiled and accepted it graciously. "You're a hero," she said.

"Don't worry about it," he promised.

So, maybe he had a thing for one of his patrons. It didn't matter that much. She was about his age (probably), and never yelled at his staff. Her seven dollar daily latte was keeping his lights on. And she was maybe the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

"Do you think I should add more vegan options?" He asked Grover. Grover was the lead barista and his business partner. He some how sourced fair trade coffee they could actually afford.

"It's better for the environment," was Grover's response.

"So, yes?" Percy asked.

"Give it a shot. Everyone loves a little vegan treat."

"No, you love a little vegan treat. Most people think they taste like sand," Percy said.

"That's an exaggeration. Your brownie is delicious. And I'm sure whatever you make, Annabeth will love it."

Percy bright red face ended that conversation. "I'm going to to hang the Christmas lights," he said, heading out into the cold without a jacket in the hopes that his face went back to normal.

~

Percy kept the coffee shop opened later than was maybe wise, but he worked most of the late shift hours by himself or with Meg, a high school kid working after school. They always got a few late afternoon coffee drinkers, and a couple of high school kids sitting to do homework.

Percy had to be there anyway. He was working on a few new vegan options. The holiday season was a good time to find out what people liked; they were more likely to treat themselves to something sweet.

He'd worked out a good vegan pumpkin pie, which they sold by the slice. That was a hit, although he was still working to get the crust perfect. The oatmeal cookie had been easy enough. The Nutella banana bread was actually so good that Annabeth ordered it the next morning. Percy made a note to keep it on the menu.

The holiday brought festive drinks too. He needed to compete with Starbucks, so he offered peppermint ... everything, caramel everything, and pumpkin everything. He was hanging a sign in the window advertising their peppermint mocha when he spotted a familiar face on the other side of the glass.

Annabeth smiled at him. It was six at night. They were only open for another hour. And she never stopped by after work. She must have come right from the office, because she still had her heels on.

The bell rang as she opened the door. "Are you still open?" She asked.

"Sure am," Percy confirmed. He would have said yes even if that wasn't true. "Soy latte?"

She shook her head. "No, no. Um, what about that --" she pointed towards the sign, "peppermint mocha?"

"You got it," Percy said, heading back behind the counter. "Soy?"

"Sure."

"I don't have a dairy-free whip cream," he said. He made a note to try and find one. Frank would like it.

"Regular is fine," she said. "I'll treat myself. Decaf though," Annabeth added.

"Are you vegan?" Percy asked as he brewed the espresso.

"I try but fail a lot. I'm pretty good at avoiding meat, but real dairy is just too good," Annabeth said.

"Easier to bake with too," Percy said. "For here or to go?" He had a to-go cup in his hand out of habit, but Annabeth had settled down at one of the open tables.

"Here," she said. Percy made the drink in a large ceramic mug.

"What brings you in tonight?" He asked, as he dropped off the coffee.

He didn't have anything pressing in the back, and there were only two college students diligently working on the other side. He could chat for a while.

As if reading his mind, Annabeth used her foot to push a chair out for him. Percy said down as she took the first sip. She closed her eyes and sighed happily.

"That's so good," she said. Percy was pretty sure he was flushed again. He hoped it went away before she could open her eyes. "It was just one of those long end-of-the-year work days, you know? Everyone rushing to get things done. I wanted something to cheer me up, and I walked by and thought ..." she looked at him in a new, attentive way he'd never caught before. "... a warm drink sounds nice."

"I hope it helped," he said.

"It is," she promised.

"I've got a new vegan cinnamon roll I'm testing. Want to try it?" Percy offered.

"How is it?" She asked.

"Not sure, they're fresh, first round," he said.

"I guess I can help test it for you," Annabeth said with a smile.

Percy jumped up and came back a minute later with one round roll on a plate and two forks.

He tried not to be too creepy as he watched her take a bite, savor it, and then carefully make up her mind.

"It's a little dry," she determined. "The icing is great, and the taste is good, but ..."

Percy took his own bite and nodded. "Too much cinnamon. It dries it out."

"Still pretty delicious," Annabeth said, going for another bite, "especially for not having half the ingredients that make food taste good."

"Thanks!" Percy said with a wide smile. "You know, my co-owner Grover is vegan."

"Oh, is he the motivation for all the new treats?" Annabeth asked.

"Uh, sure," Percy said, barely playing off that she was the real reason, not his best friend of almost twenty years, "but he was telling me about this new vegan restaurant. He says it's pretty good."

Annabeth was smiling, and she had a mischievous look in her eyes that told him she was six steps ahead of him.

"Oh?" She said innocently, going for another bite of the cinnamon roll, but not actually putting the fork in her mouth yet. "Have you tried it?" She asked, finally taking a bite.

"No, I was wondering if you'd maybe want to go with me? If you're not too busy?" He hadn't planned to ask her out today. He was thinking of maybe doing something corny and easy to ignore, like writing his phone number on her to-go cup. But he was in it now.

"I'd love to," she promised. Annabeth reached into her bag and pulled out a business card, and then shook her head. "Is this horribly impersonal and --?"

"It's alright," Percy said, "as long as I don't have to fax you the date information." There was a fax number on the card.

"Please don't, it's a communal machine," she said, "and older than I am."

"Alright, I won't," Percy promised. He didn't have a business card of his own, just ones with the coffee shop's information. So instead he did what most modern people did: he texted the cell number on her business card with a simple hey it's percy and a coffee cup emoji.

Annabeth smiled and took a second to save the number.

"So," she said, picking up her still-full drink. "Why did you start making vegan pastries?"

She had that I'm way ahead of you look in her eyes again. Percy swallowed hard.

"Um ..."

[marvelstoriesepic]

Flufftober (day 8)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (established relationship)

Prompt: Chopping & Piling Wood

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: mentions of self-consciousness and body dismorphia [Bucky; though it’s in the past]; allusions to sexy times

Flufftober Masterlist

It could easily be the sunniest day of the year, hot rays beaming down and pressing on your body, only clad in your favorite bikini. Bucky had, as always, insisted on smoothing your skin with sun milk earlier, callous fingers tracing gentle patterns on it, not wanting to stop touching you.

You sit comfortably on the soft cushions of one of the sun loungers in the backyard of your little home. A cocktail rests in your hand, condensation dripping down the glass and wetting your fingers.

Though, your attention isn’t on the refreshing and minty drink. It’s also not on the brightly colored wildflowers along the edges of the wooden fence Bucky had built. You loved the way they looked, bursts of yellow, lavender, and deep crimson nodding lazily with the wind; so Bucky did his best to not harm them. He sometimes even makes you a bouquet of those when the flower shop he usually goes to is closed.

Speaking of your husband.

Your attention is solely focused on him. Bucky stands some feet away, body moving in a well-rehearsed way as he works, chopping wood. His movements are precise, each swing of the axe purposeful, arms rising and falling, giving you the perfect view of his enormous biceps - one flesh, one metal. Tremors carry through the air with the sharp blade of the axe cleaving through the wood with a satisfying thunk and you watch the ripples go through his body.

Sweat beads on his forehead, running down his muscled and defined chest and abs, sun highlighting his contours. He’s shirtless, of course, clad in his boots, some shorts, and a pair of gloves. It’s far too hot for anything else, but the sun is not the only reason he’s wearing close to nothing. He knows exactly what he’s doing - this display, this perfectly staged scene is entirely for you.

You can’t help but smile. He brought those sun loungers specially for this - placed them just right, on the patio near the back door, where you have the perfect vantage point.

They’ve become part of a ritual - you sprawled out on one of them, drink in hand, as he works in front of you, all sinew and raw power, his skin glowing in the sunlight, all while getting admired by you. It’s a routine he enjoys as much as you do, maybe even more.

You bite down lightly on your straw, smile getting cheekier and you don’t put up any effort at all to hide it. It’s hard not to react to the way his muscles flex and strain, each movement exaggerated just enough, to make sure your gaze never strays from him. Not that it ever would.

There is a certain pride in the way he works, nothing arrogant or pompous, just a deliberate performance to capture your gaze. Having your attention has always been his favorite thing.

He wants you to watch, wants you to be captivated, and hell you are. Not a single ounce of concentration is left on your drink, the cocktail is merely an accessory to the scene unfolding before you. Every sway of his burly frame is a call to acknowledge how intoxicating and impressive he is. Especially when he uses those arms on you.

There was a time, years ago, when the man who now stands before you, so assured and strong, was a far cry from the confident figure he’s become.

Back, when you first started dating, Bucky had been different - guarded, even hesitant. He carried an unspoken weight, a quiet self-consciousness he tried to hide behind his eyes. It lingered in the way he moved, how he dressed, and in the silences that sometimes fell between you.

His body, that very thing that now gleams under the sun with such ease, was once something he struggled with. He had a hard time believing the loving things you told him, the beauty you saw in him. Instead, he was quick to cover up, to turn away when he thought you might notice.

In those early weeks and months, you had spent long nights talking, breaking down walls brick by brick. You never pushed, never forced anything, but you were always there; reassuring and patient.

You knew the battles he had fought, not just with the world but with himself. His insecurities had run deep, rooted in scars that were only partly visible. There were days when he couldn’t even look at his own reflection without flinching, and that broke something in you, tearing your heart into pieces.

But as your relationship stretched on, you watched him grow - slowly, steadily. He started to trust, not just you and your words, but himself. You saw him for everything he was, every inch of him, and loved him for it. And he understood, his belief seeping into him and he let you see him, really see him, without the mask of insecurity.

You saw him goofy, and flirty, and witty, even cocky, but most of all - You saw him in love, in a way he never had been before.

Words can’t capture how proud you are of how far he’s come. The history written across his skin has become something he now owns rather than the other way around. He’s at peace with himself in a way he never was before, he’s told you once, and you see it every day.

The axe rises again, metal arm catching the light of the sun, while his flesh bicep contracts, veins standing out against his skin as he swings down with a heavy blow and a grunt - again putting on a show for you. The wood splits under his force, but your eyes are already wandering elsewhere. The way his abs tighten with the movement, how his broad chest heaves with the exertion, the faint sheen of sweat turning his skin into something almost ethereal - everything about him seems designed to draw you in, to hold your gaze and keep it. It works.

His forearm swipes across his forehead, smearing away the sweat in a slow, calculated motion. There is a knowing smirk pulling at the edges of his lips, though he doesn’t look at you directly, just savoring the feeling of your full, undivided attention.

You take another sip of your drink, teeth chewing on the straw in your mouth as the cold mint bites against the warmth of your mouth.

Another piece of wood tumbles to the ground and you try to let the cold of the cocktail quell the heat that radiates from your awe. It becomes a delicious mix that leaves you breathless.

You like to believe that the only reason he works in the backyard is to keep other prying eyes away since he’s doing this for your gaze only. No neighbor is able to get a glimpse of him that way. The only other witnesses of his dedication are the birds in the trees beyond the fence of your little home.

Bucky has gone to piling the chopped wood and you’re completely transfixed. Your straw is practically bitten to shreds at this point, and the ice in your drink has melted. You haven’t been attending to it, not to anything but him.

There is a stack of firewood neatly arranged against the back wall of the house and your eyes follow him shamelessly, tracing every detail, as he lifts the heavy pieces and piles them on top.

Droplets of sweat make lazy lines down his skin and it’s not just the heat of the sun that’s boiling you. It’s the slow, insistent heat that begins low in your belly, spreading with each satisfying thud of the axe when it bites into wood. It’s exhilarating, pulsing; spreading through your veins, igniting a slow, smoldering need. Your legs are long crossed over each other, ankles touching and you adjust yourself in your seat.

There is no need for words. The tension between you both is a language in itself, one you’ve spoken for years. Slowly, in a measured way, you place your drink down on the wooden table beside you, the one Bucky made with his own hands.

You rise from the lounger, bare feet meeting the ground, taking your time and feeling the heat rise in anticipation with every step you take to the back door. You can sense his gaze on you now, burning into your skin, in such a different way than the sun has.

From the corner of your eye, you catch the way he lets the axe fall to the ground without moving his head away from you, tracking your every move. There is that smoldering intensity in his stare you know so well, but that always manages to send a shiver down your spine.

He doesn’t say a word, but he doesn’t have to - you know exactly where his mind is. A smirk rises on your lips and you let your hips sway just a little more than usual, your stride purposeful as you make your way inside, the heat of his gaze following you.

You leave the back door open as you enter your house, cool air brushing against your exposed skin but you hardly feel it.

A beat passes. Then, the sound of the door shutting sounds out, more forcefully than needed. Urgent footsteps follow.

Your pulse quickens in excitement.

🍁 October Writing Challenges Masterlist 🍁

[dairy-farmer]

I just read your jaytim infidelity AU, and what if it was dark!bruce??Bruce had his eyes on Janet's kid for a while, and he was more than happy when Jason became best friends with Tim.

But suddenly, they became boyfriends.

And something in Bruce shifts.

Tim was his. He had wanted him first, and now his son was taking him?

So one night, he fucks Tim, right when he knows Jason would notice too. Jason, heartbroken, won't listen to Tim begging for him to understand. He calls Tim a golddigger and kicks him out.

Bruce, meanwhile, is considered the victim, the one seduced, and he plays the part to a T, even though he doesn't want to insult his beloved Timmy.

And Tim is left in his big empty home, shunned from the only light he had ever known.

☆epilogue idea,,, Tim and Jason meet up in college and try to reconcile but Tim can't stand being around Bruce, his rapist, and Jason just sees it as Tim trying to "amend for his golddigger ways"

dark bruce where rather than feeling guilty for his attraction and slowly and subtly seducing tim by making his attraction pronouned- INSTEAD he takes what he wants, what he always thought was owed to him.

he corners tim when he's alone, paws at his skirt where the slutty little thing isn't wearing any panties- probably something meant to be a suprise for jason. he pins down tim's hands and holds him still as he fucks tim. he slides right in, his cock nice and snug inside tim because of how loosened he was left from jason working off some stress with him earlier.

jason finds them because of course he does, bruce made sure he would. afterall once he got what he'd been aching for since the moment he laid eyes on little timothy drake, he couldn't have tim running and crying to jason, possibly throwing a wrench in their relationship. jason was easy to prime for the 'golddigger' narrative all it took was offhandedly mentioning tim's mother and how tim closely resembled her, hopefully only in looks... and when bruce said that he'd said it with a bit of a resigned tone which immediatly caught jason's interest as he asked about it. and so bruce regaled him with exaggerated rumors and tales about janet drake and how she'd managed to bag jack drake and a life of luxary while also saying something about the prenup that guarenteed her millions if jack tried to leave her. all fake of course. but jason didn't know that and had no interest in socialite circles enough to double check the information. besides it all came from bruce. which meant that anything he said was as good as true in jason's mind.

when jason walks in on them bruce takes advantage of tim's slowed reaction to immediately start his victim campaign. he slurs his words, makes sure to let jason get a smell of the alcohol bruce swished around earlier which immediatly has jason's eyes narrowing in suspicion because he KNOWS bruce doesn't drink. bruce adjusts his body, subtly inching and allowing jason to follow his body's movements until his eyes lock on the two glasses of wine and open bottle.

tim's beginning to sniffle and softly croak out a desperate 'jason'. but jason is indetective mode and doesn't notice, too focused on sniffing and narrowing his eyes on the alcohol.

"these are spiked," he cuts out, frowning deeper. his eyes shoot to bruce who is clearly swaying and tim who is clearly not and desperately looking at him.

bruce wished he could say he felt bad. but it was hard to regret that tight vice of tim's cunt that had milked him of every drop bruce had to offer. bruce's only regret would be not having planned better to have worked in enough time to fuck tim for a few more hours.

jason had many choice words and insults he screamed at a sobbing tim who begged jason to listen to him, that it wasn't what it looked like, that tim was innocent. that bruce does feel bad about. it hurts his heart to see tim cry and be called names.

but bruce had to do it. for appearances sake.

in the end jason all but throws tim's out and threatens him about coming back before coming back and gently guiding bruce down to the cave, murmuring about helping him feel better.

truly bruce had the most loyal son in the world.

bruce is disappointed to learn that tim's parents apparently pull him out of gotham academy and send him overseas to a boarding school.

"good riddance" is all jason bitterly says when he tells bruce but bruce can still detect an underlying tone of pain in his voice. its understandable. tim was jason's first love, the person he lost his virginity to, and the first person to "betray" him.

still. bruce is saddened to know he won't ever see his little timmy around his manor grounds anymore.

bruce thinks of tim often after that. he has a fondess for him and their short sexual encounter in the manor library. bruce still had the tape of it and often watched it, listening to tim's hitched breaths and cries meshed with bruce's groans and curses as he bottomed out in a pussy that was tighter than anything bruce had ever fucked yet took a beating like it was made for it.

bruce missed tim. sometimes he thought of hopping on a jet and visiting his school, following him around some european streets and then dragging him into an alley just to feel the wet slide and throb of his little cunt around his cock again.

but bruce can't. he has responsibilities so is forced to put it out of his mind until years later.

jason is into his fourth year at gotham university and is livelier at dinner. bruce asks why and can see jason hesitate for a moment, look like he's thinking and then slowly say-

"do you remember....tim drake?"

bruce forced himself to not react. he'd feined memory loss of the day jason and tim broke up which he knew jason quietly was happy about. happy that bruce had no memory of his "drugging".

jason goes on to talk about tim. how he ended up crossing paths with tim at the university. how tim was studying photography, hadn't spoken to his parents since he turned 18, and spent most weekends volunteering at a teen crisis center.

"he really seems to have cleaned up his act," jason tells bruce, something soft and...fond tugging at his lips.

bruce quashes down the burn inside him at the sight, instead latching onto every morsel of information about tim.

about how he was back and living in gotham, probably near the university, maybe even living alone...

bruce nods and fakes a smile at jason, agreeing with his little observations.

meanwhile all bruce can think about is tim, his body almost vibrating with need.

the last time bruce had felt like this he thought he was going to go crazy if he didn't act on his desperate desire. and it had worked out last time. bruce had gotten what he'd been wanting from years for tim and now that he was back in bruce's city...

well...maybe bruce should add a patrol route going through gotham university from now on.

[diodellet]

Top 3 Victims of Getting Whipped by Jamil Viper's Long and Luscious Hair

i wanted to get the gunk from not-writing out before i go back to my pressing wips and i was thinking of how i used to get hit in the face by my friends with long hair…hence these crack hcs. content warnings: -this is crack. this is unserious. (couldn't help myself from hinting at angst. but this entire post is unserious, dw) -unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine. -im okay with this being rb’d and tagged as ship (then in that case this counts as pre-slash if you squint?) word count: 771

3.)  Ace Trappola

Nearly took out his eye, those damn braids.

Okay, maybe he's exaggerating. Just a little bit. Then it’s back to business and completing this Alchemy worksheet early!

(Ace is a bit dramatic in that moment, only if it means that he gets to tick off one of his more put-together upperclassmen)

Maybe that’s on him for trying to put on the eager underclassman act (If only to get Jamil to do the brunt of the work for this joint class)

No, he’s not trying to get on Jamil’s good side. Don’t get it twisted. That guy is unbribable. (So Ace thinks, little does he know he’s going about it the wrong way.)

And while one can say that he’s learned his lesson, it doesn’t stop the occasional accident from happening. 

And, well, it’s just funny to surprise Jamil. Aside from throwing a fake roach onto his gym bag, that gets boring really fast.

(So Ace says, but he likes to milk the 0.5 seconds of concern. He’s a little brother. It’s an easy way to get some attention drama around here.)

2.)  Floyd Leech

Jamil's usually diligent enough to make sure his hair is secured during basketball training. But on a day where Floyd feels like putting in effort…

Well, things get messy. more than the usual amount of chaos that comes with team scrimmages. 

And in Jamil’s quick pivot, one thing leads to another, you know.

More than being hurt, Floyd was: Surprised.

And secondly, he notices: Huh, Jamil's hair smells good.

A normal person would ask what products Jamil uses 

Floyd’s intrusive thoughts, on the other hand, are like, “yo... what if we took a bite though?”

(0.5 seconds elapsed, we are working in bullet time for those last internal thoughts^^)

And it’s very hard to resist a prospect like that when you also throw in the shininess of Jamil's hair ornaments to the mix.

Cue remix of Beansfest: Hounding Jamil Pt. 2 Electric Boogaloo

(On his low energy days, Floyd doesn’t care. On his bad low-energy days, he’ll yank at the offending braid.)

Either way, Jamil already knows to give Floyd a wide berth on default. That’s why he’s relatively low on this list.

Honorable mention to Azul Ashengrotto

Well, it's only happened twice.

But the guy was changed after those incidents. (Epiphany?? Revelation??)

Maybe the first time he got stunned into silence from getting hit was a fluke, but then it happened again.

And once again, total silence.

(Is Azul supposed to feel appalled? Is this blackmail material? How can he spin this into a surefire conversation to rope Jamil into Octavinelle once and for all? *insert bluescreen noises*)

Jamil’s stopped feeling bad about it when the initial embarrassment wears off.

If Azul gets smacked across the face and loses his glasses, that’s on him. Jamil’s speedwalking away from the crime scene, call that plausible deniability.

Unlike certain people on this list, Azul’s conscientious enough to respect Jamil’s physical boundaries

(For the most part. Sometimes Azul gets too into his “Benevolent Housewarden” persona—it’s the untapped Theater Kid Energy in him—that it could happen a third time.)

1.) (Are we even surprised?)

It's Kalim al-Asim!

When they're at class, when they're going to the school store, even at the safety of the dorm.

(Who knew Kalim had the capacity for stealth when he’s not wearing any of his usual jewelry or accessories? Has Jamil been belling him like a cat?)

It has to happen at least once a day, so decrees the law of the universe

Maybe it’s a consequence of Kalim’s lack of personal boundaries.

(Well, after the events of Book 4, I could say something angsty about that but that can be its own post. This is supposed to be a lighthearted crack scenario) 

The worst of it probably had to be during VDC rehearsals. Especially when they were getting the formations down.

Ace has made a tally of each time it has happened, Rook has confirmed the numbers. It cannot be denied any longer, there is Objective Statistical Proof. 

Congratulations, Kalim! Here’s a hastily-made certificate of recognition! (Vil would sermon them for goofing off, but he can indulge in some levity. It’s the night before the performance. It’s better than seeing them nervous.)

Kalim’s confused about the makeshift award, but it’s ok, his default response to 97% of things is good-natured laughter.

Jamil on the other hand is done. He wants to sleep. (But, when you compare it with the stress of their initial rehearsals, this kind of situation doesn’t seem so bad. He’ll never admit that out loud though.)

a/n: anyway happy pride jamil, the guy with the most gender, i wudve wanted to give u a harem but my brain said to torment u at ur expense oops (i've had this wip since april, can u believe? omagah) i wasn't sure how to format a post with multiple characters (oh my god icb this is my first twst post that doesn't feature only jamil 🗿🗿) anyway, i hope this was entertaining a read!💕💕

[peavhyshy]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - PEPPERS

ᯓᡣ𐭩 pairing ─ ୨୧ ─ JJ Maybank ⋆ Reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 summary ─ ୨୧ ─ in which you keep JJ company while he recovers from COVID-19, playing nurse and cuddling up to take care of him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 warnings ─ ୨୧ ─ covid-19, sexually suggestive comments, fluff, some angst?, mild language, mention of JJ's dad, JJ kisses reader even though he has COVID, obviously you shouldn't kiss someone if you have covid but this based on that one Lana Del Rey lyric

ᯓᡣ𐭩 wc ─ ୨୧ ─ 1,424

𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃Peppers࣪ 𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃

(༝༚༝༚ lana del rey)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Outer Banks Masterlist ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Navigation ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You knocked on the screen door of the worn-down beach house, peering inside for any signs of life. "JJ?" you called out.

A round of violent coughing echoed from down the hall followed by a raspy voice. "In here!"

You let yourself in, wrinkling your nose at the lingering scent of beer and cigarettes that permeated the Maybank home. You found JJ curled up on the couch, wrapped in a tattered blanket. His nose was red, his blond hair a tangled mess. Used tissues littered the coffee table in front of him.

"You look like death," you said, plopping down on the couch next to him.

JJ cracked a smile. "Thanks, that makes me feel so much better." His voice was hoarse.

You playfully hit his arm. "You know what I mean. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, just dandy," JJ said. "Peachy keen." He erupted into another fit of coughing.

You grabbed a half-empty glass of water from the table and handed it to him. "Here, drink this."

JJ took a few sips to soothe his throat. "So I'm guessing you got my text about testing positive for the 'rona?"

"Yup, got it this morning," You said. As you absentmindedly pushed JJ's hair back from his sweaty forehead to feel his temperature.

"And you still came over?" JJ asked in disbelief. "I'm like super contagious right now."

You shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a ride or die. Gotta make sure you're okay."

JJ grinned and pulled you in for a big sloppy kiss. You squealed and pushed him away.

"Ew JJ! What the hell?" You dramatically wiped your mouth.

"Hey, you're the one who came to see me, COVID cooties and all," JJ said with a laugh that turned into a cough. "Might as well seal the deal and swap some germs."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help smiling. "You're disgusting." you tossed him the TV remote. "Now pick something to watch while I make you some soup or something. We'll ride out this quarantine together."

JJ clicked on the TV, settling back into the couch. "You know, you really are the best."

"Yeah, yeah," you waved dismissively but you were still smiling. "Just don't cough on me anymore."

JJ grinned mischievously at you despite his sickly state. "Don't tempt me, I have no problem about getting you sick too if it means more time with my best girl." He faked a dramatic coughing fit, eliciting an exaggerated sigh from you though he could tell you weren't actually annoyed with him.

"You're just loving having me play nurse for you, aren't you?" You joked as you headed to the kitchen. He could get used to being quarantined if you were taking care of him, that was for sure. Maybe he'd milk this illness a little longer than necessary.

JJ stretched out languidly on the couch, the old springs creaking beneath his weight. He grabbed another tissue to blow his nose which was growing raw and irritated from constant wiping. At least he could still vaguely taste and smell - the steaming bowl of soup you soon presented to him was evidence of that.

"You're a lifesaver, I don't know what I'd do without you Y/N," JJ said earnestly after finishing the entire bowl in record time, his appetite apparently unaffected. He playfully patted the spot on the couch next to him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Now, nurse, I believe your patient requires some additional tender loving care, if you know what I mean."

"Come on baby, you know you want to play nurse with me," he cajoled, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. He faked another dramatic coughing fit. "I think I need some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," he joked, making exaggerated kissing noises.

Truth be told, he just wanted you close to him, to feel your soothing presence. Having you here taking care of him made him feel cared for in a way he rarely experienced from his drunk deadbeat dad. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you down onto the couch. You let out a surprised squeak as you fell into his lap. JJ wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck.

"Mmm you smell good," he mumbled, breathing in the sweet floral scent of your skin and hair. You squirmed against him but didn't fully pull away. JJ reached up and playfully tugged on one of your strands of hair.

"Just let me hold you for a bit," he pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "It'll help me feel better, I promise." He cracked a mischievous grin. "Unless you want to do more than cuddle…" he added suggestively, waggling his eyebrows.

You felt your cheeks flush as JJ pulled you into his lap, his arms holding you close. Despite his illness, that cocky grin of his still made your stomach flutter.

"JJ!" You tried to scold, but couldn't keep the smile off your face. His enthusiasm was infectious. You playfully swatted his hands away as they drifted to your chest.

"Cuddle only mister. I'm immune to those puppy dog eyes," You said firmly. Still, you relaxed into his embrace, nestling your head on his shoulder.

"For now at least," JJ teased, his warm breath tickling your ear. 

Maybe you’d regret this later, but right now taking care of a sick JJ felt natural. He needed you- and knowing that filled you with purpose. You glanced up at him, heart melting at the open affection in his eyes. You reached up and traced the bruise on his jaw from his latest fight.

"I'll always be here to patch you up JJ," you murmured. Impulsively you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. JJ sighed in contentment, tightening his arms around you. For now, you simply held each other, letting the steady beats of your hearts lull you into comfort. The rest of the world could wait.

''Will your dad be back soon?''

JJ glanced nervously at the front door before settling his gaze back on you. "He shouldn't be back for a while," he said quietly. "Went on one of his benders last night so he'll probably sleep through the day."

JJ shifted on the worn couch, wincing slightly as the movement aggravated his sore ribs. He hoped you wouldn't notice - the last thing he wanted was your pity. "I wish he'd just disappear for good," JJ muttered bitterly. He scrubbed a hand across his face, not wanting to dwell on his useless excuse for a father.

"Anyway, enough about him," JJ said, forcing a grin. "I've got way better company right now."

He playfully tugged on one of the hair strands, admiring how the sunlight filtering through the blinds brought out the highlights in your hair. You were so beautiful it made his chest ache. JJ wished he could freeze this moment - just the two of you here together, your kind eyes gazing at him with understanding rather than judgment.

"You're too good to me Y/N," JJ said quietly. Before he could overthink it, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. Your skin was petal soft beneath his lips.

JJ pulled back, heart hammering in his chest. He gave you a crooked smile, hoping you couldn't hear how loud it was beating. "So, wanna raid the crappy cable TV options with me? We can trash talk all the awful daytime soaps."

You looked shocked, unable to speak for a few moments before recovering. You composed yourself before answering, "You know I'll always be here for you JJ, whenever you need me." You give him a soft smile, trying to convey your sincerity. If he wants to drop the subject of his father and move on, you'll happily oblige.

"Daytime TV sounds perfect right now. Let's see who can come up with the most ridiculous plot summaries for these shows," You say with a playful grin. You grab the remote and start flipping through channels, settling on a particularly melodramatic soap opera.

Leaning into JJ's side, you point at the screen. "Okay, that guy definitely just found out the kid he's raising isn't actually his. And that woman is clearly his scorned ex-lover who's out for revenge." You dissolve into giggles, amused by your own silly narration.

You are glad to see JJ's somber mood start to lift, a small smile creeping onto his face. Moments like these make all the chaos and hardship feel worth it. As long as you have each other, you'll be okay.

[danikamariewrites]

can you please write something DDLG with Azzie where reader is sick. Just pure fluff, reader is so sad and whiny and teary eyed and Az is babying her beyond believe, feeding her milk, bathing her, swaddling and cradling her when she’s crying and feeling sorry for herself, just loads and loads of fluff,

I love everything you write, every morning the first thing I do is check to see if you’ve posted, I wish I was exaggerating love you! 🤍🤍🤍

Holding You While You’re Sick

Ddlg!Azriel x reader

A/n: he would baby you sm like way more than he usually does. Thank you anon you have no idea how happy that makes me 🥹💕💕

Warnings: ddlg, daddy kink, fluff, sick reader

Azriel woke up to your constant sniffling and dry coughs. He sat up to turn you on your side. His brow furrowed as your breathing stuttered, your chest moving up and down quickly.

He pulled you into a sitting position against his chest and held the back of his hand to your forehead. Mother above you are burning up. You had only been this sick one time before thirty years ago. This was going to be rough, you didn’t do well being sick.

You stirred, wincing as shivers run through your body. Letting out a groan you blink your eyes open and look up at Azriel. You turned to bury your face in his chest. “Daddy it hurts.” Azriel brings a hand to rest in your hair. “I know princess, I know. But I’ll take care of you.”

You are sweating buckets so Azriel’s first mission is to get you into a cold bath. He knew you’d fight him on it but your fever needs to go down. “We gotta get you into the bath princess. It’s going to be cold but you have to, ok.” You let out a small whine but don’t put up a fight when he carries you to the bathroom. You don’t have the strength.

He held your head as he dipped your hair in the water, washed your body and hair, and continuously dripped the cool water on your forehead. You shivered violently. Your teeth chattering. “Can I get out yet?” “Just a few more minutes princess then you can.”

When he pulls you out he takes a warm towel he put near the fire and dries you off. Azriel picks you up and brings you back to bed dressing you in comfy clothes. He makes sure you have your favorite hoodie of his and your favorite fuzzy socks.

Wrapping you in blankets Azriel kisses your forehead. Not only as a display of affection but to check your temperature again. Still too warm. “I’ll be right back princess.”

Minutes later Azriel comes back with a box of tissues, a glass of water, and two slices of toast. You weakly reach out to him making grabby hands. “Please come back to bed. I need you daddy.” Azriel pouts at you, climbing back into bed and lifting you in his lap.

You snake your hands up his shirt to absorb his warmth. He cradles your head with one hand and rubs your back with the other.

As tears escape your eyes from the pain in your sinus he wipes them from your cheeks. When you have to blow your nose he holds the tissue up for you. When you’re thirsty or hungry Azriel feeds you your toast and holds the glass up to your lips. “Baby sips princess. And baby bites, I don’t want your tummy to get upset.”

After an afternoon nap Azriel gives you a tonic from Madja to help bring down your fever. It was a fight to make you take the tonic but you eventually gave in after Azriel coaxed you to.

That night Azriel stayed up as you slept in his arms. He knew you’d wake him up or the bond would alert him if you did. And you knew to wake him up if you needed anything.

He didn’t have to stay up. You would be fine. But he wanted to see you peaceful before you woke up. Stroking your hair he placed a soft kiss on your head. “I’ll always take care of you princess. My sweet girl.”

[undead-supernova]

Masterlist / 18+

pairings: modern!boyfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: you and Eddie are very excited to spend 4/20 together. aka just two idiots getting baked and having fun

important note: this is a silly little unserious one-off of my High Tolerance series, dedicated to the best day of the year (other than Halloween)! This could be read as a stand alone but I think my series as a whole is pretty cool and it makes me squeal and kick my feet

warnings: W E E D, just as much fluff as you'd expect, actual smutty behavior, and YES in this one they're a COUPLE now !!!!

wc: 2k

It began the moment you woke up.

At the first indication of your eyelids opening, Eddie was putting an unlit joint in your mouth and carefully sitting a party hat on your head.

“Happy 4-20, Weirdo,” he whispered before presenting you with a cup of coffee. The mug was one of those ridiculous ones from Spencer’s, with a bowl carved in for the sole purpose of smoking while drinking coffee. 

And he packed the bowl. Packed. It.

Taking the joint from your mouth, you said, “Good morning.” It was all groggy and soft, resulting in a quick yawn and your hand lazily reaching for the lighter left on the bedside table. 

“We have a full day ahead of us,” Eddie said as you smoked. “Just you and me engaged in a state of bliss.”

“That’s what she said,” you murmured, smoke escaping your nostrils.

“God, I love you,” he said with a chuckle before taking the mug from your hands. As you got out of bed, he added, “Have I said that?”

“Not today.” 

“Well, I love you,” he said again, following you as you padded through the hallway and into your living room. 

But you stopped in your tracks when you saw a shitty banner strung up on the wall. Just a string holding green balloons with blaze it written out. Oh, and one with a shitty drawing of a weed leaf.

“Okay, I can explain that,” Eddie said, stepping in front of it.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, so there were literally no banners at Walmart, so I made this myself.” He lifted his hands and gestures towards it as if he was presenting it at an art gallery. “Look at that impeccable handwriting.”

“I know, I can actually tell that’s an e,” you agreed, nodding.

Eddie grinned. “You flatter me.” 

“Also, I think I love you more,” you finally said. “Just saying.”

“Uh, that’s false,” he argued, quietly skipping into the kitchen to grab a bag. “Not when you see your present.”

“You got me a present? When?” you asked. The two of you had a rare moment of having both days off together. You’d spent that time in bed watching TV and fucking. A normal day for you now, to be quite honest.

Eddie ran back over. “Jailbait Hemp had an early morning Wake N’ Bake sale,” he explained, presenting you with the bag. “Ballsy move to get me out of bed by eight, but I did it.”

“The bravest soldier,” you said with fake sincerity, putting a hand over your heart and bowing. “I owe you my life, my lord.”

“If you keep talking like that, we may have to play maiden in a tower again.” Eddie took a step forward, one hand on your waist as he put his other over yours. Cleared his throat before dramatically tossing his hair over his shoulder. “It is I, good maiden, that has come to rescue you. To guide you to freedom.”

Matching his straightened posture, you let out an exaggerated sigh. “Oh, dear prince, you have gone to war for me. How can I show you my appreciation and gratitude?”

“Oh, I can think of a few ways,” he murmured with a smirk, leaning in to kiss you gently. You couldn’t help but return the smile, your palm grazing his stubble as you caressed his cheek. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the plate of cookies you’d left on the counter the night before mostly eaten. A glass sat next to it, the milk gone but a white film left behind.

Raising an eyebrow at him, you nearly moved away. But Eddie wouldn’t let you go that easily.

“Where’d the cookies and milk go, Eddie?” you asked.

“Oh, that?” he said, guilt written all over his face. “Babe, I told you Snoop Dogg would come and eat them.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Saw him with my own eyes,” he continued. “He told me to thank you for making them. He even left you two.”

“Two. Out of the ten that were left over.”

His cheeks tinged with pink as he tried not to laugh. “Snoop Dogg got up to pee, right? And then he saw all those cookies you left out and was like ‘Oh, wow, those look really good for a four-a-m snack. Thanks, bro.’”

But Eddie clearly knew he wasn’t getting out of it that easily. “And he was like, ‘Damn, your girlfriend is just so hot. Sooo sexy. Give her a kiss for me.’”

“Snoop Dogg said that?” you questioned, fighting a smile as you went to wrap your hands around his waist. 

“Mhm.”

You nodded, pulling him closer. “Every word of that, right?”

“Totally. And I told him to back off ‘cause I spent three years trying to date you.”

“Yeah, it ruined my five-year plan, actually,” you said with a smirk, lifting your hands to trace his collarbone. Eddie laughed, but he shivered at your touch. “Could you imagine still being just friends still? Today of all days?”

Eddie shook his head. “Considering I got painfully hard whenever I was around you—still do, obviously.” His eyes flickered down to the growing bulge in his pajama pants. “But I would not have been able to keep my hands off you. You, my dear, are the most outrageously beautiful being to walk this land.”

“Smooth,” you complimented, trying to slow your racing heart. “I may just forgive you for eating my cookies.”

“Remember when we decided to stop smoking?’ You nodded. “And we had an argument in the kitchen?” You nodded again. “I don’t know why, but I wanted to bend you over the counter so bad it was killing me.”

You couldn’t help your goofy grin despite the aching wetness pooling in your underwear. “That’s funny, ‘cause I was thinking the same thing.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised.

“We were eye-fucking each other,” you whispered, letting your hand move up to caress his face again, placing your thumb against his bottom lip. Watched as he opened his mouth willingly for you. 

Eddie’s breathing became staggered, slithering his hands down to cup your ass. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t hot, though.”

“Edging each other for, what, two of those years?”

Pressing you back against the wall dividing the living room and the kitchen, Eddie slotted his thigh between your legs. Lifted one of your thighs to sit at his hip, grinding himself against you. 

Being teased was so much more intense within the haze of your high. Every movement was another wave of pleasure, tipping you further into insanity. And you could tell Eddie felt the same from the way he swallowed, clearly trying to keep his composure.

“I do have you all to myself now, you know.”

He ground against you again, pulling a louder moan out of you. You couldn’t help but push your thumb past his lips, watching his eyes roll back as he sucked on it. Swirled his tongue around the digit..

You two were a dangerous pair.

“Eddie, if you don’t bend me over right now, I think I’ll fucking die.”

You didn’t have to tell Eddie twice.

It was almost impossible how quickly he had you pressed against the wall with his cock out and your underwear shoved down your thighs. You let out a sound of impatience, turning your head to watch him pull a condom from his pocket and roll it on.

Your eyebrows pulled tight in confusion when he pulled out another small packet, this time being lube. He messily pumped it along his length. And, before you could ask any questions, he was lining himself up at your entrance and pushing in. 

And, as he bottomed out, you gasped. 

“Oh fuck,” you whined, head falling back, feeling his wild hair against your face. “Did you have a condom and lube in your pocket the entire time?”

Eddie finally thrusted into you, a high-pitched sound leaving his mouth. “Jesus, sweetheart.” He sighed. “Considering we fuck like rabbits? Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“Happy 4-20,” you teased, pushing back on his cock and reveling in the squelching sound and the way his cock buried even deeper inside you.

He gasped, tightening his grip on your hips. “Happy 4-20, baby.”

It took you and Eddie about two more hours to come down from desire, the intimacy too alluring in this state. It had only been six months since you started dating, having nothing but time to make up for. And you’d tried to stop after the first round…and the second. Popped some pizza rolls in the oven and tried to put a movie on. Ended up riding him until the timer was up.

And you would never admit to immediately forgetting they were still in the oven. Though, that was Eddie’s fault for not letting you go until you finished. Always a gentleman, that one.

You ended up in a tank top and a new pair of underwear while he threw on some boxers and one of your cropped t-shirts. Cracked open your windows to air out the joint he bought this morning. Let him crank up the music on his phone as you shimmied your way around the apartment, passing the joint back and forth. It was easy to forget to pace yourselves when he was pulling you close and putting it between your lips.

And it was an easy kind of love, the kind you’d always shared. Everything felt just the same as it had, only needing to remove the tension to fully embrace it. Eddie was always touching you now, no matter where you were. Always doting on you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Steve and Robin always complained that you were lovesick idiots—and they were right, of course. Eddie was always blabbering about your shared future, all the plans that were practically set in stone now. There was no room for doubt or questions. 

“I’m gonna marry you, you know,” he murmured, kissing your forehead, one hand on your exposed hip as you swayed. “Just you fucking wait.”

“Mm,” you hummed, your content smile widening. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

You laughed. “Eddie, you’ve told me that, like, a million times since we became official. You already know I wanna marry you, too.”

“Well, I won’t stop,” he promised. “And we’ll have joints at the reception and everyone will dance and we’ll do karaoke and do that cake shoving thing and I’ll have the sickest vows and it’ll be ridiculously cheesy.”

“You’re gonna cry more than me,” you teased. “A big ole baby.”

He giggled. Eddie fucking giggled. It was the cutest goddamn sound you’d ever heard, knowing that he was as elated by your love as you were. Two goddamn smitten idiots. 

“It’s gonna be fucking amazing,” he said, putting the last of the joint up to your lips. Watched as you took a puff. “And we’re gonna slow dance to the Lord of the Rings theme song.”

That made you laugh which then made you cough, stepping away from him and clutching your stomach. 

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, obviously trying not to laugh. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, rushing over to chug the last of your glass of water. Just so you could exclaim, “We are not slow dancing to that.”

“Why not?” he asked, scoffing as he put his unoccupied hand on his hip. “It matches our theme.”

“Our theme?”

“Yeah, like, you’re gonna dress up like Arwen and I’ll be decked out in Aragorn’s sick outfit. It's perfect. What about that don’t you get?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, and let me guess. You think we’re gonna get replicas of that fucking ring.”

Eddie couldn’t help his goofy laughter, tossing the burnt filter onto the counter before taking your hands in his. “Was that not already established?”

“You’re the absolute worst boyfriend to exist,” you teased, moving to brush his nose with yours. Breathing him in, all hazy and at ease.

“Yeah, but I’m a great husband,” he whispered before kissing you once more.

another thanks to the lovely @strangergraphics for helping me with the dividers and the editing. you're the best I love you mwuah

[forlorn-crows]

Ooooooo Crow u wanna write about Mist milking Zeph's cute little tits soooooo bad

-Void

i hate you for ever suggesting that 1) zephyr has little titties and 2) they wreak havoc on the others by making them leak

what do you get when you put a strict top and a dom in the same room? you get a very soup-brained air ghoul who absolutely "hates" losing to daddy mist and her clever fingers

they/them zephyr (cock for their anatomy) and she/her intersex mist (cock/cunt for hers, though only the cock is mentioned here). good ole lactation kink w/a spicy side of Daddy mist ahead

If you asked Zephyr if they liked to be broken, taken down to studs, they'd vehemently deny it. Very few things—and very few ghouls—can ruffle their feathers and challenge that cool, unbothered facade that graces their features. If they’re ever submitting, it’s their idea, through and through. They swear it. 

Mist is the anomaly. 

Zephyr doesn’t know how she gets them to play (and lose) her little games. They’ll swear up and down they hate her dirty talk, her degradation, hate the way she can get their eyes to roll from just a little pinch to their nipples, hate how she makes their brain go fuzzy by simply grinding their cocks together. Somehow, she never fails to break them down to the barest of bones—and suck out the marrow while she’s at it. 

They hate it. You have to believe them. 

“You like being daddy’s little baby, don’t you?” Mist coos at them now, straddling their lap with them bullied straight-backed against the headboard. Tiny hands roaming all over their neck, their chest. Pressing and prodding at all the spots that somehow make them incapable of forming coherent thoughts. 

Zephyr makes some unintelligible protest, a pink blush blooming on their cheeks. 

“I think you do,” Mist answers for them. “You don’t have to pretend for me, hm?” She smooths her thumb across their lips, smirking when they part easily. “There you are, no need for scowling. Daddy’ll make it better.”

Her hands float back down to their tits, puffy and full and begging for attention. Mist had pulled them into her room when she noticed the twin spots on their t-shirt this morning, even through the black fabric. She had licked her fangs, giving them her signature predatory look that meant You’re mine.

Mist tweaks one of their nipples, sighing happily when a drop of fluid leaks out and drips onto their pants. She pinches the other, wringing a drop out of that one too. 

“Takes nothing to get you to leak, does it, little bird?” The water ghoulette cups their swollen chest with both hands, framing pert nipples between her thumb and pointer fingers. Squeezing against the build up of pressure just so, just until that sweet milk flows out and dribbles over her hands. 

“Mist,” Zephyr groans, wringing their hands into the sheets. “Lucifer, oh.”

She echoes their noise with an empathetic, slightly exaggerated one of her own. “So wet, baby. Just like a water ghoul,” she tuts. 

Their cock kicks in their pants traitorously. They try to shake their head, deny it somehow. But it’s futile under Mist’s nimble hands and her wicked tongue. 

“You are though, look at that.” She holds up a hand in front of their nose, wet with streaks of milk. Zephyr whimpers—curse the Dark One below, they fucking whimper—head lolling backwards like it’s just too heavy for their shoulders. A sure sign of their imminent defeat once again. 

Mist knows it too. Always knows when they reach the delicious point of no return. She surges forward, melting her body against theirs, looming over them with a gaze so piercing it could cut glass. Hungry. She rubs her nose along Zephyr’s, slow and teasing. Relishing in the fact she’s about to take away the last shreds of their control. 

“Want a taste, little bird?” she whispers, holding their chin and slipping her thumb between their lips. 

The roll of her hips that follows and the taste of themselves on their tongue is just the beginning of their demise. 

[moonsfantasyworld]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐤 𝐡𝐜

🥺

I had this thing on my inbox for like, two months, but it's TIMEEE

🎭- this one is already known if u follow me, but to me he IS handsome, it's not just something he calls himself, he is actually handsome and has used this to his advantage before

🎭-very cartoon like body movements most of the time, we are talking becomes a pancake but is alive when hit with a comically large hammer kind of cartoon shit

🎭- speaking of body movements, he is always Exaggerating his poses, going all out and big on how he moves

🎭-as a performer, he happens to know many different types of dance, one of this being ballet

🎭- speaking of ballet- I like to think part of his outfit isn't just inspired on jesters and that sort of thing, but to me he also has some elements of the outfits ballerins wear, something something, he has either half points and or points built into his outfit, helps with the feeling of looking longer

🎭- in human height he'd be taller than average, idk which numbers in specific, but he is pretty tall

🎭- can imitate voices, change in size at will, and travel through shadows

🎭- it's stubborn, and won't rest to get his goal at any cost, he has all the time of the world after all!

🎭- even to this day he has a soft spot for kids, in a twisted way, he isn't far from lying and manipulating them or influencing him on things, but will be quick to jump to make sure none is harmed on his watch

🎭- he needs glasses, he used to wear some before corruption but after, to be more in character, he decided to stop wearing them and instead uses contacts and magic to still see. Wears the glasses in private to rest his sight

🎭- clingy to his loved ones, specially his partner, this man is, in fact, touch starved

🎭- even if you are someone important to him, he will still tease you and mock you, but in a more friendly and loving way than mocking hateful way

🎭- can be kinda possesive, but will respect boundaries

🎭- I think we all know this on my part but I'm team he wears two hats, I know it's probably his hair but meh

🎭- good yet very messy cook, kitchen is always a disaster after, at least the food is five stars tho!

🎭- will bring breakfast in bed to his partner if he sees the chance

🎭- really cuddly, a bit touchy, always holding his partner's hand if he can

🎭- loves biting in a loving way

🎭-part of him regrets all the things he has done to this day, but sees it worthless to go back to the past, won't catch him saying any of that tho! Unless he's really drunk that is

🎭- the black and eyes on his hair are side effects of his corruption

🎭- he can see through the extra eyes, but not always

🎭- is the reason why cookies have access/gained access to dark moon magic

🎭-dark moon magic may or may not be the reason he corrupted for me...

🎭- founder of the blueberry yogurt academy, has no clue the state it's in (he would get really mad, he was very proud of it)

🎭- og name is blueberry milk cookie!

That'd be most for now, can't remember the rest, will add once I remember

Thanks for reading!!

[pinacoladaz]

Sypnosis: your roommate character and his temptation to bring a pet to the shared apartment.

Gojo x gn reader, Sukuna x gn reader.

For all ages❕

Gojo Satoru

He could complicate everything unnecessarily.

You are sitting on the couch reading with some tea after a long day, and faster than you thought, your peace is disturbed when obviously Satoru enters the apartment noisily, slamming the door and approaching with heavy steps to the other side of the sofa

Without taking your eyes off the reading, you move your head as a form of greeting, he doesn't respond but through your peripheral vision you see him leaning back on the couch with one arm covering his eyes. Dramatic.

After a moment of silence, he sighs needlessly loud.

...

Since you don't answer, he takes a breath to sigh even loudly, not getting answers he lifts up his arm a little and opens one eye to check if you are giving him atenttion, unfortunately for him, no.

After another moment of silence and a breath of air to sigh again, you cut him off, looking up from the book, expectant "boy just say it"

He looks at you for some seconds and closes his eye again, returning to his initial position "hm, i already regretted it."

One of your eyes twitches, closing the book, getting an idea "i swear to God, to GOD, if you burned a bin again..."

"That happened months ago, what's even wrong wi-"

"Well just keep going!"

He comes out of his hiding place resting his elbows on his thighs and after hesitating, he threatens you with his gaze "Don't you dare joke about it" he gets up from the couch going to the kitchen to get water, still talking to you from there "let's say that, in theory, someone offered me a pet. A dog."

There can't be anything very wrong if it involves a dog, so you relax your posture and open your book again, searching the page as you hear him "Mhm, a puppy?"

"Uhuh, that thing..." The kitchen drawers rattle.

"So what's the problem?"

"Let me finish; he was like 2 seconds or 2 days old, i'm still wondering..." you hear him close the refrigerator while he speaks thoughtful, perhaps trying to sound with disdain.

Shit.

I close my book slowly, starting to get up to go to the kitchen "He was?"

"Let me finish! I knew you didn't want dogs in the apartment, so i brought him to the apartment without you realizing it."

The audacity.

When i get to the kitchen i see his back facing me, he moves the glass as he speaks and his abdomen is lying on the island so i go around it to look at him, stupefied, but he is looking at the ceiling so as not to see me.

"Wow. Just- Just wow. I actually have a lot to say about that because, because that's crazy! i never said i didn't want dogs, but you believed it and you brought it? incredible, when did that even happened? where is th...?"

"The first day i kept him in my bathroom, when i noticed that with 1 day of life he managed to make noises, i took him to the cleaning closet from the ground floor..." he plays with the glass, at this point i just look at him so he can continue "but... mm, maybe maybe maybe the 1 day of life thing was not so much an exaggeration" he squints one eye and tilts his head "and dogs need breast milk and probably a normal environment to be healthy."

At that moment there is an almost infinite silence in the room, which i break with a incredulous gasp after processing what he says. "Where is the dog Satoru."

"I really thought almond milk was a good-"

"The dog, Gojo, the fucking do-"

"He's at the vet! healthy, but he had fainted and it scared me so much that it got all the shit out of my system" he falls on one of the stools, rubbing his face "those who gave him to me didn't know much either, it was the first time the dog had children, they will return him to his mother." he focuses on every word so that the chances of being stabbed go down.

After another silence, you look at him with a scowl in your face, shaking your head in disbelief. "You're- you're useless! Fuck at what point of my life did i say i didn't want dogs here?!"

"Probably when i showed you that test about what dog would i be and you just kinda threw up in my family tre-"

"Oh my god I literally said 'i don't like those dogs' because that's the one you got! i didn't even... God! Satoru, you deserve a lawsuit or something, and the mother's owners too! who was it? a campus drug addict...?"

"It's Sukuna" he clarifies in a murmur, still avoiding your gaze by playing with the glass.

I scoff in desvielief "Sukuna? the law student who literally threatened to kill you last month?" he nods "oh fuck of course it was Ryomen Sukuna. You two hate each other only when it suits you."

Sukuna Ryomen

Despite how much you had insisted and insisted Sukuna to get a cat, he maintained his stance that cat hair was disgusting, that they meows were annoying or that their pee smelled like acid. Every time you brought up the subject at dinner or some weekend, he would growl and grab his hair between his fingers.

Luckily, you had already forgotten about the thing.

Unfortunately, natural selection was chasing him like crazy.

Since he left the university to the parking lot, a small kitten had been chasing him; he had been stoping and giving it 'little kicks' which were more of a careful and slow movement to push it away from him.

The cat was insanely insistent, meowing, coming closer and closer even if he pushed it away; it almost reminded him of something. Running out of patience with a lick of the lips and a roll of the eyes, he bent down and without even hesitating, he picked up the tiny kitty from the ground and continued walking to his car with the animal in one of his hands, which was like three times the size of the thing.

He drove him in the car on the way to the apartment, without even questioning what he was doing, as if the cat's company was an everyday occurrence. It wasn't until he reached the threshold of the front door that he thought an actually what the fuck.

He had seen it with his own eyes, how you would go crazy when it came to cats, taking multiple photos, talking in a stupid voice saying even stupider things, Sukuna didn't even want to imagine what it would be like if he was directly related to the cat.

But... he could not leave it outside anymore!

...

Well, yes he could, but he wanted to think that he couldn't, so he didn't bother looking for excuses to back out, he preferred to solve it.

Sukuna looked at the time on his phone, at this hour you were usually already in the apartment.

He clicked his tongue and leaving everything to fate, opened the door, entered and closed it with his foot, observing the perimeter, you were not close and there was no trace of your existence.

Still, he preferred to make sure with a shout. "Dunce? Are u here?" He stood still, listening intently.

A few seconds later the pink haired hear footsteps approaching him, making him quickly hide the cat behind his back and the keys in his pocket so they don't get in the way. A seconds later you came out of the hallway, you had a mask, gloves, apron and a surgical hat.

He acts as he would naturally, looking at you with disgust "Who the fuck did you kill"

You stand in the shape of a cup "To the germs in the toilet, hello to you too" you narrow your eyes at him, then you notice his unnatural posture "What do you have there? Will you finally win me over with flowers?"

"Keep dreaming, is..." Sukuna is interrupted by a meow, to which you raise an eyebrow. Never in a million years do you expect Sukuna to bring a cat, so you wait for an explanation "... is... my new phone with a notification that I can't change. Leave me alone" he says going to his room rarely, without breaking eye contact and without turning his back on you in the process.

After making a face you choose to ignore the strange behavior and go to continue cleaning; it's Sukuna after all.

Meanwhile he was preparing a house for the cat in his room; a shoe box with a blanket under his bed would be the bed and two plates that he had not taken to the kitchen, the feeder.

And it worked, or at least it was kept secret for a while. One month to be exact; he almost never let you into his room and the door was always locked.

You were already worried about this strange behavior, he even bought a lot of milk and took it to his room, bring sand there from time to time, and started buying stuffed animals. You investigated a lot if it was some sign of a mental illness, but denial is a river in Egypt and what was obvious was obvious.

You thought maybe Sukuna had some killer dog puppy in his room, so after giving it a lot of thought, while Sukuna was taking a bath and leaved the door unlocked, you slipped into the room to look for the little guest.

Big surprise when you find a little yellow kitten living under his bed, meowing softly.

As you took him in your arms with excitement, Sukuna walked in with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his hip, staying still at the sight of you in his room, with the creature in your arms.

"You violated my privacy."

That harsh accusation didn't save him from your impulsive questioning that after half an hour ended with you throwing yourself on Sukuna's bed while you petted and played with the kitten, talking childishly to it with your back on Sukuna so he can finally get dressed.

Something in Sukuna warmed up at hearing you being so ridiculously cute with that thing, joining you after being dressed, but mostly just to push the cat away and look at you two in threat to shut up so he can see his series.

[rosewood-multifandom-writer]

Devil May Cry Spice Tolerance Headcanons:

I had some mango habanero boneless wings (highly recommend if you love and tolerate spicy food), and that made me think of this idea for a series of headcanons.

Abnormally high spice tolerance:

Dante:

Dante can definitely tolerate spicy.

If he was younger (DMC3 Dante) he would definitely be exaggerating about how his mouth was on fire.

Since we’re talking about a much older Dante here, he has built up his spice tolerance.

Give him multiple One Chip Challenges and he just eats them like they are normal potato chips.

Try to prank him by putting pieces of Thai Chili peppers on his pizza, he’ll enjoy it even more.

Dare him to eat a ghost pepper, he will do it.

You cannot get this guy to tap out and drink milk.

Vergil:

Like his twin, he has spice tolerance but for completely different reasons.

He has willingly ate a habanero before and shrugged it off, which horrified Nero.

Hates buffalo sauce, not because it’s too spicy, but because it’s salty to him. Anything that is too salty or too sweet, he can’t eat, because he can’t tolerate it, he says as he pops another habanero in his mouth.

Whenever Dante gets pizza, he tells him to put extra jalapeños on his half when they share. (Or they don’t share and Dante eats the whole thing)

Ghost peppers are his favorite.

He’s been in hell for years. Spicy food can’t phase him.

Sparda:

Has been around for a very long time and has tried various spicy foods.

This is where the twins’ love of spicy food comes from.

He has a bigger appetite than his sons as he eats more portions of food than the two combined, which yes, includes spicy food.

In his opinion, sushi is at its best when spicy. Hence why he seeks out scorpion hot sauce and DRENCHES the sushi in it, which horrified Eva.

He was a legendary demon knight, spicy food can’t phase him. (Like father like son)

Nico:

“HOO-WEE! Who’s ready for an impromptu pepper eatin’ contest?”

Nico is the reason why Dante and Vergil now compete in eating the worst ever peppers.

Nico LOVES eating 4x Spicy Balduk noodles (I can’t even eat these) with some Carolina Reaper Pepper cheese on top, again which horrifies Nero.

Gets giddy at the suggestion of spicy food.

Give her some scorpion hot sauce, Carolina Reaper Pepper cheese, basically any spicy sauce or snack that Nero can’t even eat, you win her over easily.

LOVES Kyrie’s homemade chili especially when she makes a spicier version in a different pot just for her.

One chip challenge? She laughs and eats two and says that the chips ain’t spicy and eats chips like these on her break.

Girl is from the south and has eaten plenty of spicy food, she can handle a lot more heat.

Has Limits:

Trish:

Trish herself can debunk the myth of all demons can handle spice. No, not all of them, she argued.

Jalapeños, spicy chips, red hot pepper flakes on her pizza she can eat with no problems or hesitation.

Trish will beg Dante not to put a crap ton of jalapeños on the other half of the pizza like last time.

Trish has tried mango habaneros wings before. Three wings in, she grabbed the milk and drank it in defeat.

“Yes, I am a demon who shoots lightning bolts who can’t handle a 577,00 Scoville unit pepper, deal with it,” she sassed Dante with her runny mascara.

She will stick with her hot Cheetos.

Lady:

Also hates it when Dante and Vergil put too many jalapeños on the other half of a pizza.

A moderate amount of jalapeños is good enough for her. Same with buffalo wings, ignoring Vergil making a disgusted face.

Has judged the twins hard on eating a ghost pepper and a habanero.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys? Those things light your tongues on fire!”

Ate a small portion of a ghost pepper. Immediately tapped out and Dante quickly gave her the glass of milk.

She prefers to watch Dante and Vergil eat insanely hot peppers rather than participate.

Kyrie:

Is intimidated by the sight of a Thai Chili pepper.

She is willing to sprinkle cayenne pepper seasoning on things like her homemade chili she gives to the kids, Nero and Nico, but doesn’t go too far knowing her limits and Nero’s.

Kyrie coughs after taking a small whiff of Nico’s chili. “Okay, hers is done.”

Jalapeños is something that she also enjoys as it’s not trying to destroy her tongue.

Trying Nico’s 4X Spicy Balduk noodles, even one bite was enough to make her face turn red and tear up.

“Girl, you got guts, but you got limits, drink up.” Nico gave her some milk to extinguish the heat.

“I’m not doing that again.”

Instantly Nopes Out:

Nero:

Nero wanted to eat some pizza with Dante and Vergil, but after opening the pizza box, he immediately closed it.

Is scared by the sight of a ghost pepper. Only to witness Dante eat it like it’s a strawberry. Nero is once again horrified.

The only sensation he likes in his mouth (get your mind out of the gutter) is minty freshness like from gum.

“Does… cinnamon flavored gum count as spicy?” Nero asked Dante.

Dante, “No, that’s just sweetness with a hint of spice.”

Nero hesitantly ate a small piece of habanero. He very quickly went to the fridge to pour milk into his mouth. And onto his clothes. And onto the floor. “Do not tell Nico about this.”

Eva:

Nero definitely inherited his grandmother’s hatred for anything spicy.

Eva absolutely hates the smell as it stings her nose.

She knows her husband loves spicy food and tolerates it, but she cannot handle it.

Because she loved him and wanted to eat some delicious food he made with him, she took a bite.

Sparda said, “My dear, you didn’t have to do that,” and tried offering her water Eva shook her head and said, “If you can handle surely I can…”

Eventually she gives up and drinks the water after snot and comes out of her nose much to her embarrassment.

In conclusion, never give Eva anything spicy. Only give it to Sparda.