#the gifted kid syndrome is finally getting me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
bookwormwithadhd · 8 months ago
Text
When you did bad at your physics exam so now you're worthless
2 notes · View notes
alexanderwales · 2 months ago
Text
My son has been having some behavioral issues, so we've been doing arduous consultations and screeners and questionnaires to try to get some kind of guidance, which has been very frustrating. Everyone in the broad field of child psychology has said either "have you talked about autism" or "have you talked about ADHD", and sometimes both, because they're comorbid. But in order to get an actual diagnosis, you need to find the right people who are qualified to actually make a determination.
So a few days ago, this culminated in us finally talking to the guy who had the answers, at least according to modern child psychology, and he said that no, there's not really a basis for a clinical diagnosis of either autism or ADHD. There are still the behavioral issues, which are most of the reason we went for testing (along with some inattention, fidgetyness, sensory issues, and other things that are sometimes markers), but that's apparently something to work on with therapy and maybe will just go away as he gets older and matures.
But the other thing that the guy with the answers had to say was that maybe a lot of this can be explained by really high test scores in the cognitive stuff. We knew he was a smart kid, but the guy with the answers said that our son is three standard deviations above normal on all the cognitive tests, including an IQ test that I didn't know was a part of it, and that this is perhaps why he's so bored at school and difficult to keep engaged.
I think that's maybe part of the answer, but not the whole thing. I've been trying to prepare this child to not have gifted kid syndrome his whole life, trying to make sure he doesn't just breeze through everything and then crumble when he faces a challenge because he doesn't know what to do when something is actually tough. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't put in the work, if you can't overcome obstacles, if you coast through life. Those lessons do not seem to have sunk in at all, so I don't know.
But as we're getting ready to leave, my wife came in with her particular brand of humor.
Wife: So you're saying it's not too late to install some lead pipes in the house, right? That might be the solution to all our problems.
To his credit, the guy with the answers laughed, and then said, "yeah, or maybe asbestos".
Later, in the car:
Wife: Asbestos doesn't cause lower IQ. Me: Yeah, I know. Wife: I should have said something. Me: That would have been very awkward. Wife: Maybe he would have appreciated the correction. Me: I really don't think he would have. Wife: But you noticed too, right? My joke about lead was good, and his follow up about asbestos was bad. Me: My very first thought was "I hope she doesn't say something about this". Wife: You love me. Me: I do, but sometimes when we're talking to people together, I'm very aware of what you're going to say. Wife: It's not too late. I could message him. Me: I know you're joking, but please please don't. Wife: I wouldn't. Me: You wouldn't, unless it was funny. Wife: Yeah, and it would be hilarious, so ...
We at least know where the boy gets his tendency for pedantry from.
962 notes · View notes
devotedlystrangewizard · 2 years ago
Text
i hate it so much when people try to tell me how to study because every single method feels like trying to shove a balloon through a brick wall
#i cant study. like actually#schoolwork isnt just not fun to me its. actual torture#i always start crying while doing homework because my brain is just so fucking foggy i cant ??? function???#i cant retain information im not interested in but let me do you one better. i cant even consume it in the first place#im not. a functional person#im in my final year and idk if ill make it literally BECAUSE im. i cant fucking do this?#personal#btw#and jts always 'well at least try to study its only one more year' I GOT THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. BECAUSE OF COVID#I NEVER WOULD HAVE REACHED THIS POINT IF IN MY THIRD YEAR THE SCHOOL HADNT SAID 'ok everyone passes'#AND I NEED THIS?#DROPPING OUT IN THIS COUNTRY EVEN AT 18 IS NIGH ON ILLEGAL#gifted kid syndrome was never about reading better than the rest of ur class when u were 8 bc u were a nerd#its about always being fucking praised for every minor thing and then growing up to be completely useless#and its stupid! i KNOW my life is allowed to exist i KNOW im not useless i KNOW that i deserve better than what ive gotten up till now#but im so fucking sick of the constant 'oh you can do better' and my classmates going 'oh ur so smart ahaha' and just.#the dchool system wasnt made to support anyone ever#it supports the average child with average intelligence who works and studies and that child is so fucking rare#and its even worse when my sister is doing a level higher than me is doing a sport AND is looking for a job#and shes fine! she gets good grades! but i can barely manage to get through this and everything is just a fucking brick wall#and i keep smashing my head against it trying again and again to get through but all im getting is another fucking headache#i hate people who say shit like 'ooh videogames ruin ur school life' bc videogames are the only things in my life rn i can think about#without feeling like shit!#i csn ramble about videogame lore for 6 hours or i can sob uncontrollably there is no difference i am not a fucking person anymore#autistic burnout gang lmao i am losing my fucking mind#every time i try explaining it to someone its just 'well just try' IVE TRIED. FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEARS. ITS ENOUGH. IM DONE.#anyway thats the story of how i ended up crying about my french exam tomorrow#it is 2 am#i have to figure out a dessert for christmas i can barely fucking breathe and i am once again trying to make as little sound as possible#im so tired
0 notes
sohnric · 2 months ago
Text
extra cheesy — e. sohn
Tumblr media
pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader
genre: pizza boy! eric, very mild childhood friends to acquaintances to friends to lovers au. college au, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst. mutual pining, slowburn, jealous eric, oblivous reader, the whole lot... includes pizza boy! sunwoo and eric's older sister! lisa manoban.
wc: 31k (31.071)
warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, mention of throwing up, mentions of jealousy, the reader and eric are the same height bc i wrote this for and about myself, talks about the ex-gifted kid burnout syndrome lol.
listen to: so american - olivia rodrigo, love - wave to earth and stuck with u - ariana grande and justin bieber
being a wingman is not always the easiest task - especially not when your roommate's target is best friends with someone taking your attention away from the main goal.
a/n: thank u so much best friend @csenke for beta reading as always and thank u best friend @from-izzy for hyping me up and listening to me ramble hours upon hours about this fic (oh and also for stepping in as the reader's roommate HAHA).
Tumblr media
“Come on, we deserve a little pizza for dinner!” your roommate, Izzy, shakes your arm as she clings to you on the sofa the way she always does when she wants you to do something. And although your dear flatmate isn’t usually the one to order in, much preferring to cook meals at home and save the leftovers for another day, you wouldn’t find her desperation for pizza as strange, if it wasn’t for the batting of her eyelashes and her pleading voice.
Surely, she doesn’t need the pizza that much, right?
“I’m not saying we don’t, I’m just saying I have leftover soup from yesterday that I have to eat tonight or else it’s gonna go bad,” you justify your protests, “but you can get one, if you want. I’m not stopping you,” you say, furrowing your eyebrows at the girl in confusion before reaching for the TV remote.
“Oh come oooon, Y/N,” she pressures, pouting at you in disappointment. More weight is put into your body as she clings to you, acting like a child throwing a tantrum. “You deserve to have delicious pizza for dinner today, because you finally bagged that internship! Isn’t that a reason to celebrate?”
“We can just pop the champagne, if you wanna celebrate–”
“Y/N, can we please just get the pizza tonight?” she turns serious for once, the smile disappearing off her face, replaced by a much more stoic expression. And see, that’s a little scary– desperation can make people do bad, bad things. You’d be a fool to turn down your flatmate’s request– you’d have to sleep with one eye open tonight…
“Okay, fine,” you grunt, shaking your head at her ridiculous antics, “from the usual place?” 
“NO!” the girl chimes, making you jump in your place on the sofa with the loudness of her voice. If she wants to scream, she should move further away from your ear, goddamn it. After sending her a look full of anger, she offers you an apologetic one before she reaches for her laptop resting on the coffee table in front of you, opening it and pressing in a new Google search. “There’s this place I found with Yizhuo after class one day,” she says, scrolling through the browser and finding the site of the place she wants to order from today, “and they make pretty good pizza. So just choose one and then I’ll put it through the online order.”
“They have online orders?” you hum, interested. “Twenty-first century, this is. Online shopping for pizza…” you snicker, shaking your head in disbelief. Maybe you’re getting old– and it’s not like you don’t enjoy the comfort this gives you, not at all, you just find it a little strange to order food over the internet. What happened to phone calls?
“Yes, grandma,” Izzy sighs, “that’s like, a normal thing, I fear.”
Rolling your eyes at her irony, you scan the menu before deciding on your usual– margherita, extra cheesy. After pointing your finger at the pizza of your choice, your roommate takes it upon herself to add the meal to her cart (while also adding one she likes as well) before she proceeds further with the order. Your eyes stay glued to her, interested in the way this whole thing works– because let’s be real, ordering a pizza without having social interaction is every introvert’s dream– and watch as she hesitantly clicks onto the “add a note to your order” section of the website.
Confusion fills your veins as you stare your roommate down. What more could she possibly need for this order? Does she not just want to eat? Does she need her pizza sliced in a special way, or does she want the pepperoni in the shape of a flower, or something? You really wouldn’t be surprised, with how peculiar Izzy could get sometimes, but still– wasn’t she the one mourning about how hungry she was just a few minutes ago? Surely, she would want her food to get here the fastest it can, with no additional requests that would take up too much time.
“Don’t say anything,” she mumbles as she starts typing, and finally, it all starts to make sense.
The desperation in her voice. The determination. The need to have a pizza tonight, right now. Because after reading out the words she’s written down, you realize that it was never about the pizza itself in the first place. Knowing Izzy, you should’ve known– after the months of sharing an apartment with her, you should’ve been able to predict her antics.
There, proud, black on white, shine five words saying: Send your cutest delivery boy :)
“Izzy what the fuck–”
“I told you not to say anything!” she cuts you off, clicking through the rest of the order hurriedly, as if worried you were going to make her delete her embarrassing request.
“Okay, miss, ‘I don’t chase no man!’, I see that you’re living up to your motto. What? You ate there with Yizhuo last week and saw a cute guy doing deliveries, so you thought you’d drag him to our house instead of asking for his number like a normal person?” you grunt, shaking your head at the lengths your roommate is willing to go to– while also making her own life twice as complicated as it needs to be.
“Well, pretty much, yeah,” she peeps as she closes the laptop after paying for your pizzas– you’re not paying her back, just for the record. Not after she just publicly embarrassed you by making that stupid request with your address attached. 
“Are you crazy?” you scoff. “Why didn’t you just talk to him back there?”
“He was busy!” she mourns. “Look, this is me shooting my shot. You’re getting a pizza out of it, so I don’t see the problem here.”
“The problem is you doing all of this when you could’ve literally just walked up to him last week and introduced yourself,” you say, watching your roommate physically crumble under your scolding, but truthful words.
Izzy slides down further into the sofa, as if to shield herself from the attack. She puts her hands over her face, hiding the blush on her cheeks as she mourns into the silent apartment. “Look, I was shy, okay?” she says.
“But not shy enough to be so bold over the internet, huh?” you mock her, feeling your roommate’s hand slap your upper arm in frustration.
“You should’ve seen him, Y/N! There was no way I was going to walk up to him after the whole day I spent at uni. I looked like a dead rat, that’s not how you pull men,” she mutters. “And he looked so perfect, so adorable, it’s… I keep thinking about him and his plump lips and his dark messy hair, and he was so tall and–”
“Okay, okay,” you cut her off, a hint of annoyance tinting your tone. “I’ll see him with my own two eyes in a bit anyway,” you comment, “if he’s really the cutest out of them, as you requested,” you snicker. 
“He is! I swear. There is no way he isn’t going to appear on our doorstep in a few minutes, trust me.”
Little did the two of you know that you caused havoc on the other side of the town. It was a slow day in Sohn’s Pizza, leaving the two part-timers on duty scrolling through their phones, awaiting any new customers. It was the middle of the week, 2 hours before their closing, and so the sound of the new online order coming in surprised the two boys, having the owner’s son sit up from his place in the corner of the room and click through the system.
“Dad, it says one extra cheesy margherita and one pepperoni!” Eric yells out into the kitchen, followed by a loud acknowledging hum from the cook himself. Sunwoo looks up from under his chocolate bangs, pausing the game he’s been playing on his phone, licking his lips.
“Do you wanna go?” he asks, obviously too lazy to move from the pizzeria. See, the two part-timers had many responsibilities. One wasn’t just a delivery man or just the server. Because Eric’s father didn’t really trust anyone with his business, he relied only on the people closest to him– which caused this place to operate mostly as a family business. Sunwoo only got the job because he was Eric’s longest friend, and that made the Sohn family consider him as one of them. 
That meant the pizzeria was almost always short on staff, though– which was a problem Eric complained to his dad about more often than not, being too busy with deliveries and also wiping down the tables, serving the customers and helping with the sides. The poor boy already learned that his dad won’t do anything about it from the sheer discomfort of having to go through the hiring process with anyone, though, and so after a while, he just stopped trying.
“I dunno,” he shrugs, eyes scanning the order. “It has a note, though.”
“What does it say?” Sunwoo asks, voice barely coated in any interest. Eric would argue that the boy doesn’t really care, but is just asking to seem mentally present.
“Send your cutest delivery boy, smiley face,” Eric hums, snickering to himself. Now, that’s a request he hasn’t gotten before– and the pizzeria has been open for quite some time now.
“Oh, so I’m going,” Sunwoo says, already standing up from his place in the camping chair behind the counter even though the order isn’t ready yet, full confidence flowing through the man’s veins.
“Didn’t you just ask me if I’m going?” Eric jokes, eyes darting towards his coworker.
“Yeah, but that was before I saw the note,” Sunwoo scoffs, “we obviously don’t want our customers to be unhappy, so I’m going to do my job, and as the cutest one, go deliver these pizzas.”
“Where did the confidence come from?” Eric clicks his tongue. “Well, that being said, I am going to deliver these.”
“So you think you’re cuter than me?” Sunwoo looks at his friend with a stern face, and to be honest, it’s kind of funny how serious the matter is for the boys. They would both blame the 8 hour shift getting to their brains, but in reality, it’s clear as day that they both want to win this argument. 
“I’d say so,” Eric nods. “Didn’t you say you were more sexy than cute the other day?” 
Sunwoo looks at his friend suspiciously. He doesn’t really remember the full context of the conversation, but he does remember stating the fact– and although he’d argue it’s true, he also doesn’t want to lose to Eric. Because look– the job is taking up the majority of the boys’ time, so looking for a girlfriend has gotten severely more difficult. 
Why not take the opportunity at work? And besides, everything is more entertaining than sitting around and waiting for the place to close for the day.
“I did,” Sunwoo carefully admits, “but that was more to do with the general attractivity. I’d say those two go hand in hand, and therefore me, as the objectively more desirable one, should go deliver these.” 
Eric blinks slowly at his friend, trying to process the self-absorbed words spilling out of the taller one’s mouth. “Are you calling me ugly right now?”
“No–”
“I’m pretty sure you just called me ugly.”
“I would never–”
“I’d say I’m the cuter one,” Eric snaps back, shrugging. “I have this aura around me–”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. You know the note was obviously for me, so why don’t we stop this and you let me make this delivery? You can always do the next one–”
The argument is growing more heated. Who would’ve thought such a simple note would lead to two men trying to advertise themselves as the cuter one? The room is filled with testosterone, although the objective of the fight was somewhere completely else– the question was who the cuter one was, and if they had to be truthful, they had to go with facts, no?
Small things are cute. Eric is shorter than Sunwoo. Logically, it should be him– but he won’t say this comment out loud in fear of carrying the burden of admitting to his laughable height in front of his spiteful friend’s ears. 
“How can you tell it was for you?” Eric scoffs. The arguments were starting to get ridiculous.
“It was the energy, I swear, the note is calling for me–”
“Boys, the pizzas are ready!” the voice of Eric’s dad calls from the kitchen, making both of them snap their heads towards the source and hurry. Never in a thousand years have either of them reacted to an order so quickly– not even in the highest of rushes– when they reach for the two boxes with grabby hands, like it was some sort of a prize.
It felt like everything was on the line. Eric Sohn prides himself in being a fast runner, but when he senses the taller boy breathing down his neck, he breaks all rules of safe workspace and also friendship as he outstretches his leg towards the right, tripping the boy– all to win the title of the cutest delivery boy.
Snatching the pizzas and also the car keys, Eric pays his coworker a victorious smile. Sunwoo glares at him from the ground, breathing heavily, anger roaring inside of his body. Eric finds this as his cue to hurry out before he’s attacked– while he’s a good runner, he was never quite good at combat– and so he jogs out of the pizzeria and unlocks the door to the Honda Civic parked outside, hopping in and typing in the address into the GPS on his phone.
Back over at your place, you try to pass the time by watching the TV. Netflix failed you with its poor selection of things to watch– mainly because you’ve already seen most of the true crime documentaries that you could find– so you just let yourself get pulled into the doom of teleshopping, your brain quickly getting used to the flashing images and over-exaggerated voices advertising the newest sumo slicer. You had a long day at university today– while also finally managing to get the internship with the company you dreamed of working for– and after all of the stress, your brain decided to simply turn off.
You’re only taken out from your trance as the doorbell rings, making you jump slightly at the loud noise. Dinner must be here– your stomach churning at the premise of a good pizza already (you have to give it to Izzy. She was right and you do deserve pizza tonight)– and so you stand up from the sofa in the living room, calling for your roommate.
“Izzy, the pizza’s here! Come get the door if you wanna see the guy!” you yell into the depths of your apartment. 
You get no response. Did she fall asleep? “Izzy!” you call again, this time louder.
“Coming!” you hear her reply. You wait a few seconds, standing in the hall, when the doorbell rings again– after not opening the door for at least 2 minutes, you’re starting to get worried that the delivery man will just turn on his heel and take your pizzas away from you. 
And you can’t let that happen– not when you were finally persuaded into eating them– all because your roommate is seemingly getting ready to open the door and see the newly found love of her life, probably putting on some cute clothes in her room.
“I’m just gonna get it!” you say, reaching for the door handle.
Opening the door, you are met with the sight of a delivery boy standing on the other side, two boxes in his hands, shifting weight from his heel to the tips of his toes. He sends you a soft smile before he raises his eyebrows at you so high they almost touch the red cap adorning his head, opening his mouth to speak.
“Eric?”
“Y/N?”
Both of you shock the other with the recognition. You haven’t seen Eric Sohn since elementary school– and while you must admit that the son of your parents’ friends grew up to be mildly attractive, you must say he hasn’t changed a bit. Now, this whole interaction grew even more embarrassing for you– you completely forgot about the note.
“Hello?” your roommate calls from behind you, walking up to the door in– you guessed it– her finest clothes. She always wears this outfit out, which makes you roll your eyes at her. She is trying too hard. And for whom? Eric Sohn, of all people?
“Izzy, here’s the cutest delivery boy you asked for,” you awkwardly say, trying to save your face. You won’t allow her to embarrass you like this– yes, you are completely content with throwing her under the bus in this situation. This is the boy you were forced to hang out with the whole entirety of elementary school, after all. You won’t let her humiliate you by making him believe it was you who found him so attractive.
Because let’s face it– he wasn’t. Well… 
Maybe he was and you’re lying to yourself. But still– you won’t let him think you’d be so pathetic to shoot your shot by an online order. The boxes in his hands have Sohn’s pizza written all over them– maybe you should’ve paid more attention to the name of the pizzeria you were ordering from. 
“Ah,” Izzy hums, and something in her composure shifts. Her shoulders drop and her smile dims– and that’s when you realize Eric is not the delivery boy she was hoping for. You have to laugh at her.
Izzy makes no effort to move or take the pizzas from the boy’s hands, and that’s when you take charge. Sighing at her, you move her out of the way before you send Eric an apologetic smile, freeing him off your order. “Thank you for the pizzas,” you say, watching as the delivery boy nods at you, offering you an awkward smile.
You push the boxes into Izzy’s hands, ordering her with your eyes to take them into the kitchen. As she slowly moves out of the hall and disappears into the apartment, you face the boy again, still standing at your doorstep. You scan him all over– from the top of his red cap that’s hiding his honey blonde locks to the black cargo pants covering his legs– before you nod to yourself, the awkward atmosphere making you tense under his gaze.
“Uhm…” you hum, not really knowing what else to say to diffuse the atmosphere. This is embarrassing. This is humiliating. Why did your dumb roommate do this? 
Now she got the poor boy disappointed. Couldn’t Izzy at least act like he’s the one?
“Well, I’ll.. see you around, I guess…?” Eric says, nodding to himself. He scratches the back of his neck as he looks at you– one short glance up and down that doesn’t go unnoticed by you, making you instantly regret getting the door in your sweatpants and the pink socks with hearts and a single hole on the toe on them– before he takes a step back from the doorstep and starts walking away from your apartment.
“Yeah,” you clear your throat, mentally punching yourself with how pathetic you sound, “see you around. And… and thank you again! For the pizzas, I mean…” you hum. Now, you’re mentally kicking yourself. Scratch that, you’re throwing yourself down the stairs. Why are you so awkward? You’re only making it worse.
He flashes you a smile, not oblivious to the shame you feel. If you really think about it, the situation is kind of funny, isn’t it? 
“Bye, Y/N,” he says, waving at you as he walks down the stairwell, sending you one last glance over his shoulder.
“Yeah, bye!”
Closing the door behind you, you try to take deep breaths to steady yourself. You will murder your roommate with your own two hands and use her blood as the sauce for your pizza. Slowly walking towards the kitchen, you see Izzy munching on the pepperoni slice, sending you a look full of innocence.
“Well, that didn’t work out,” she says, trying to make light of the situation, ignoring how embarrassing this situation was for both parties involved. Without a word, you sit down at the table, opening the box of your pizza of choice, taking a bite. 
“Are you okay? You seem a bit–”
“Shut it.”
Tumblr media
“How was it, bubs?” Izzy asks you once you get into the car while simultaneously reaching for the volume button on the radio, turning the music down so she can hear you talk.
“Terrible,” you mourn, sighing as you buckle your seatbelt and watch your roommate back out of the parking lot. She was nice enough to offer to drive you home after your first day of your new mandatory internship, and although you told her over and over how you didn’t need a ride and could just walk home after, you’re actually very grateful for her act of kindness now– for your feet hurt like a bitch and you’re so mentally tired you think you could get lost on your way home, had you not paid enough attention.
“That bad?” she hums, voice full of consideration. Izzy only pays you a short look full of undeniable worry before she gazes back at the road– thankfully, because she is not the best driver and you think her not paying full attention to where she’s going would significantly lower the chances of you getting home safely today– subtly allowing you to vent about the day you had.
A grunt escapes your mouth. “Yeah,” you agree, “it’s just– god. The place is full of morons, my boss is demanding a marketing project from me until the end of my internship, everyone keeps using me as their coffee delivery person because I’m new, and I forgot everyone’s names already…” you complain, furrowing your brows in concern. How are you going to survive going there weekly?
As a business student, you have to go through an internship in order to successfully graduate. Getting one was already hard enough, but the responsibilities that come with doing all the stuff you’re not even educated enough to do yet are only making the weight on your shoulders heavier and heavier to the point where you suddenly start to doubt if you’re even good enough for your major. Hell, you barely have any interest in it in the first place– hence why you lack the enthusiasm your boss would surely love to see from you.
“Can’t they just not make it easier for you?” she shakes her head in disapproval. “You’re a mere student, not the new hire,” Izzy grunts, sympathizing with you.
“Apparently not,” you roll your eyes. “I’m so tired, man…” you sigh, resting your head against the window, letting your eyes close for a bit. “Thanks for giving me a ride, Izz.”
“No worries,” she innocently replies. Almost too innocently, you think– but with the amount of hours you slept last night and the mental overload of new information you had today, you choose to not pay much attention to it. Maybe you’re just making it up…
If the drive was a bit longer, you’re sure you would’ve fallen asleep. The car comes to a halt in a few more minutes, though, and the sudden silence of the vehicle as the engine turns off and the radio goes silent has you opening your eyes, scanning your surroundings.
And you were right. Izzy was almost too nice in giving you a ride home. You should’ve known she always had different motives.
“Why are we here?” you ask, choosing not to face her so you don’t have to look at the dumb smile on her face again, for you think that if she dared to force innocence on herself right now, you’d seriously punch her.
“Oh,” she hums, “I thought we could get pizza for dinner.”
“We had pizza last week,” you deadpan, tone of voice only a bit hostile.
“That’s correct,” she agrees, “however, I am in the mood for some pizza right now. And we don’t really have any groceries at home, so I think this is the best alternative to end your bad day–”
“You’re not dragging me in there after embarrassing us so much last week, Isabelle,” you grunt, pulling out the full name to act more tough and get your point across. “I am never going there again. You simply can’t force me–”
“Oh come on! You’re ruining all fun.”
“That’s because I am not having fun right now,” you note, already too tired after the long day.
“Then let me cheer you up! I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about it,” Izzy glares at you, sighing. “Besides, the last time I checked, you owe me pizza, and I would like to redeem that now.”
“Since when–”
“Don’t think I forgot that you didn’t pay me back last time,” she cuts you off, sending you a stern look.
If you were closer to home right now, you would’ve left the car and just walked back to your apartment, leaving your dear flatmate to get her pizza alone. You both know you’re not here for the pizza itself anyway– so why does she need you there? As an excuse? It’s already embarrassing enough for the both of you. Why won’t she just drop it?
But since the circumstances are given the way they are– you’re tired, hungry, frustrated and full of worry about your internship– you figure there is really no need to argue with your roommate right now. When she sets her mind on something, she is going to get it, no matter what. You know her well enough.
“Fine,” you sigh, getting out of the car and slamming the passenger door with as much force as you can humanly conjure in yourself after the long day, satisfaction flowing through your veins at the sound that’s loud enough to make your roommate jump in surprise.
You’re going to give her what she wants, but you’re not going to act happy about it. You’re just gonna get the pizza and leave. That’s the plan.
Walking up to the building of Sohn’s Pizza, you push the door open, ears instantly catching the low music coming from speakers situated in the corners of the room. You haven’t been here before, so you take your sweet time looking around– noticing the neat-looking interior, admiring the wooden furniture– before you walk towards the table in the corner of the middle-sized restaurant, sitting down. Izzy follows you like a lost puppy with its tail wagging because she got what she wanted before she sits down opposite of you, offering you a giant smile. She is like a kid under the Christmas tree with the toy she always desired securely in her grasp. Which is weird– the cute delivery boy hasn’t even shown up yet.
After scanning the menu for a bit– since you already know what you’re going to get– a server walks up to your table, a big, welcoming smile on her face. She is short even when wearing heels, hair pulled up into a ponytail, straight-across bangs sitting on her forehead. It’s been years since you last saw her, but the resemblance is undeniable– it’s Eric Sohn’s older sister.
“Hello! What can I get for you today, girls?” she asks as she takes out a notepad. Her eyes land on you for a bit before she gasps, even a bigger smile appearing on her cheeks, if that’s possible. “Oh my god, Y/N?”
“Yeah,” you nod, grinning. “It’s me.”
“How are you?” she asks, beaming. You and Lisa were never really close– since she was so much older than you back when you hung around the Sohn’s house, but she was always really kind to you. You remember her making snacks for you and Eric to eat in afternoons or taking you two out to get ice cream, your heart squeezing at the nostalgic memories.
“I’m good, what about you?” you ask, genuinely interested.
“I’m fine,” she nods. “Well, just rotting in here, if I’m being honest, but other than that, I’ve been good,” she laughs, making you mirror her actions.
“Well, it’s really pretty here, if that makes you feel any better,” you smile.
She shrugs at your compliment. “I did most of the decorating, so it should be,” she snickers before she looks back at you after scanning over the entire room. “What will you get today, then?”
“Just a margherita is fine,” you note, “could I possibly get extra cheese on that?” 
“Anything for little Y/N,” she hums, making you roll your eyes at her teasing– yet the grin never leaves your features. “And for your friend?”
“I’ll get pepperoni,” she peeps. It’s unusual for your roommate to be so quiet in a conversation– you guess she was caught off guard at your sudden acquaintanceship with the staff in her new favorite restaurant.
“Coming right up!” Lisa smiles, walking away from your table.
After the server leaves, you are left with a few seconds of silence from your roommate. You raise your brows at her in question, mocking her change in demeanor, waiting for her to get back to her usual, chatty self. “What?”
“You know her?”
“Obviously,” you snicker. “Our families used to be close years ago,” you note, shrugging.  “We lived in the same neighborhood.”
“Wow…” she hums. “So you know that guy who dropped our pizzas off last week as well?”
“I do,” you nod. “We are the same age, so our mums forced us to hang out often.”
“Interesting….” Izzy says, lost in thought. If you didn’t know better, you’d suspect she was scheming something up. Actually, you think you know her well enough– just give it a few more minutes.
The door opens again, making you two look around and watch the people coming into the restaurant. Instead of new customers, you are met with two men obviously wearing work uniforms– white shirts with a pizza logo in red on them– the shorter one with a cap on, the taller one with baggy jeans adorning his long legs. You recognise one of them instantly– and even despite the nature of the restaurant, his presence still shocks you and makes you feel alarmed.
You feel something come in contact with your shin as your roommate kicks your leg under the table. “That’s him, that’s him, that’s him–” Izzy chimes, whispering, making you furrow your brows at her in question. Yeah, of course that’s him. Eric’s dad owns the restaurant. Who the other guy by his side is, though, you don’t–
oh.
So that must be the cute delivery boy your roommate has been thirsting over for the last couple of weeks. She has a lot of determination in her, you’ll give her that. If it was you, you would’ve forgotten about a random mediocrily attractive server after a day or two. Not her, though. What a strange woman…
“Y/N!” you hear for the second time today. Your heart skips a beat at the tone this time, making you remember the events of last week, heat instantly creeping up your neck at the memory.
“Hi,” you peep, watching as the two men make a bee-line towards your table.
“Hello,” he greets. He wears a bright smile on his face– one that makes his cheeks look fuller, something in his eyes glimmering (you think it might just be the reflection of the lights). He is wearing a blue cap today, covering his honey locks– which leaves you wondering if he has a fucked haircut, or if he really just likes to wear hats that much– but other than that, his attire is the same as last time. “What’s up?” he asks.
Casual. Friendly. Like nothing happened– like this whole encounter isn’t totally embarrassing. 
Or is it not? Are you just being overly-dramatic again? You really don’t know at this point. 
Still, you act nonchalant. “Oh, not much,” you hum, “just got off my first day of internship, so we decided to get some pizza to comfort myself.”
“Didn’t go well?” Eric asks, a sympathetic look on his face. Somehow, his concern seems genuine.
“You could say that,” you note, shrugging.
“It will be better next time,” he says lightly, smiling at you all encouragingly. For the first time in the last couple of seconds, you pay attention to your roommate again– seeing her eyes glued to the taller boy. If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts drawn in her sockets and she would be drooling. Izzy seems to be totally enchanted with the delivery boy currently standing to Eric’s right, and you can’t stand the view any longer.
“Oh, this is Sunwoo, by the way,” Eric says, introducing his coworker. 
“Nice to meet you,” you smile, shaking the boy’s hand. He sends you a boyish grin, greeting you back, before he moves towards your flatmate, holding her hand in his.
“Izzy,” she introduces herself, tone of voice a few octaves higher than usual. “We’re roommates.”
“I gathered as much,” Eric notes– almost a little awkwardly– making your body electrify with a full body cringe. Why can’t he just pretend last week didn’t happen?
“Yeah,” you hum, nodding and scratching the back of your neck. “She pretty much dragged me here, haha…” you vocalize the laughter as a word, mentally slapping yourself. Haha? What’s so funny? Y/N, you’re only making it worse.
“Well, it’s nice seeing you again,” Eric says. When your eyes meet, he averts his gaze, an awkward cough battling its way out of his throat. “Uhm… we better get back to work, or else my sister’s gonna kill me–”
“Oh, but it’s not busy!” Izzy suddenly utters out, making you snap your head towards her with shock, a look worthy of many words burning a hole into the middle of her forehead. What is she thinking? “Why don’t you sit with us for a while? It seems like you and Y/N have a lot to catch up on,” your roommate sweetly says, throwing the burden onto your shoulders again. 
Why are you suddenly forced into the role of a wingman? You really didn’t sign up for this.
“Oh, I–”
“I could use a little break,” Sunwoo grins, not even waiting for his coworker to immediately deny the idea. You swear you can mentally hear your roommate's excited squealing on a telepathic frequency as the dark-haired boy takes a seat right next to her, sprawling his legs wide and resting his back against the chair, seemingly tired. “Come on, Eric. Lisa has a soft spot for me, she won’t eat our heads off.”
Eric meets your gaze. You hope your brains match at frequencies with the boy as well as you send him mental apologies, the atmosphere once again getting too awkward for you to handle. He seems to be the victim of his friend’s terrorizing strategies as much as you are, though, so you think there is silent understandment hanging in the air over the two of you as he reluctantly sits on the chair next to you.
You’re starting to think Izzy has a death wish. You’re also starting to be fairly certain that you will be the one to fulfill it.
Tumblr media
The passage of time is weird. It’s a strange construct to you, finding yourself dwelling on it at times when it’s the least suitable to– especially when you have things to do and a workload to get through. See, it’s incredibly bizarre to you how when you’re doing nothing, time is passing by quickly without you even noticing it: a few episodes of your favorite TV show go by and you’re suddenly well into the evening. When you’re working on assignments, though, it seems like time has stopped. 
You promised yourself you’re going to stay in the library and work on the project you were assigned in your internship until at least 6PM. You arrived at 3 o’clock– three hours should be easy, right? Not that much time.
Wrong. Because you swear you’ve been aimlessly searching around the internet and writing things down for at least 10 years now, and it’s only been an hour and you still have two more to go. Time is weird like that. It’s fascinating– at least when you hypnotize the numbers in the right corner of your screen, sucked into the doom of your laptop. Maybe you should’ve taken Physics instead. You’d love to learn about this.
(The fact that this has nothing to do with Physics and everything to do with your focus and attention is a completely invalid argument to you at this moment, so you don’t even let yourself think about it.)
Something finally pulls you out of the hyper focused state that you put yourself in while staring at the time on your screen (as if to mentally push the clock to go faster), and that is a figure moving right opposite of you, resting their hand on the back of a chair.
“Hi,” you hear, making you snap your head up and face the intruder, “can I sit here?”
“Hi…?” you mumble, watching the boy in front of you not wait for your answer as he pulls the chair back and settles his body onto it. He empties his pockets in the true manly fashion– putting his wallet, his phone and his keys onto the wooden table– all while letting you absorb his existence for a bit before you have to react to it some more. 
You spent years not seeing Eric Sohn. Now, you bump into him at least every other week. Strange.
He is wearing a simple white hoodie, his hair now not covered by a cap. You glance over the honey blonde locks, noting to yourself that he does not have a messed up trim, which means he just must like hats a lot. You feel like you should probably say something– start up a conversation– but the shock of seeing him is still settled deep in your bones, stopping you from every attempt.
Looking around the library, you note that it’s half-empty– meaning that Eric could’ve chosen any seat, any other seat in the whole entire place– yet he chose to sit right opposite of you at one of the long tables in the middle of the room. Nodding to yourself as you absorb the information, you open your mouth to say something– anything– before the boy beats you to it, acting in his true, nonchalant casualty.
“What are you working on?” he asks. “I mean… you seemed quite miserable when I arrived, so I assumed it was for the best to take you out of the frozen state before you go crazy,” he jokes, having you close your mouth and awkwardly smile at him.
“Yeah,” you hum, shrugging. “I was mainly just trying to force the time to go quicker with the sheer power of my gaze, but I think it doesn’t work like that…” 
“You set up a timer for yourself?” he asks, laughing.
“Kinda,” you nod. “I knew I had to hold myself accountable and do work, or else I’m going to leave things until the last minute and hate myself even more for not doing anything sooner, so I told myself I’ll work on my assignments until 6, but it’s… easier said than done.”
Eric nods at you, acknowledging your struggle. He takes out his own laptop and presses the power button. As he waits for it to turn on, he looks back at you, his gaze making you nervous. 
It’s not that you don’t like Eric– not at all, you have your fair share of fond memories with the boy when you were little– it’s just that you haven’t seen him in ages, haven’t properly talked to him since you were kids. You know nothing about the man he is right now– aside from the fact that his father owns a pizza place now. You don’t even know what he majors in. Hell, you didn’t even know he went to the same university as you up to this point– which makes everything just a little bit too awkward for you.
How to navigate the conversation? What to talk about? Why does he not just… ignore you? It’s not like the two of you were that close in the first place.
“What do you major in?” he asks. You wonder if it’s sheer politeness, or if he really just wants to know.
“Business,” you say, tone of voice hinting that you’re not really satisfied with your own answer. “I’m actually supposed to be working on a project for my mandatory internship right now.”
“Damn… what is it?” he asks. 
Scratching the back of your neck, you lick your lips before answering. “It’s like… I have to make a pitch about a new product for them to sell. I work in the sales section for Trust, the insurance company, so I have to do a lot of… market research… and then also marketing… it’s… kind of a lot, actually…” you nervously laugh, trying to diffuse the fact that you’re genuinely scared of the very project you were assigned.
Eric stares at you with interest, a look of acknowledgement settling onto his face. “Wow. That sounds hard.”
“I mean, I don’t know…” you shrug. “Maybe I’m just too stupid for this–”
“No you’re not,” the boy instantly cuts you off, shaking your head. “I’d say they just have high demands from you.”
His words do a bit to soothe you. You avoid asking your classmates about their internships in fear of being the only one that’s finding things hard and being overly-dramatic. Talking to someone who doesn’t really have the same experience as you makes things a bit easier– you can complain and they won’t judge, because there’s no way they know how it feels. Eric won’t judge you for finding your business internship hard, because he doesn’t know what it takes– at least not on his own skin. But if you’d complain to your classmate Yeji, for example, she might find it weird– what if your tasks are the easiest thing to do in her eyes?
“Thanks,” you hum. “What do you major in, though?” you ask him, somehow committing to keeping the conversation going for just a little more time.
“Communications,” he laughs. “I just… write a lot of papers, I guess.”
“Ah,” you nod in acknowledgement. 
You feel like you should add something. Maybe you should comment, sympathize, ask more questions, but in the moment, no fitting words reach your mind. After a heartbeat of silence, Eric’s eyes finally leave your figure to focus on his laptop, and the only thing resonating through your brain is the fact that the last two times you met him, it was painfully awkward and maybe a little strange– which leads you to questioning the fact that he still chose to approach you today.
“Look, Eric, we… you don’t have to act like we’re friends now,” you say, refusing to meet his gaze. Somehow, your blank laptop screen is much more interesting. “And I’m sorry about last week,” you note, tone of voice lighthearted– trying to mask how much you actually think about the encounters and how they make you wish they never even happened. Somehow, you worry about how you’re perceived by him. “My roommate just kind of likes your coworker– Sunwoo–” you call him by his name, “so she has been doing all of this to get his attention, and it’s…”
“It’s okay,” Eric laughs, making you glance up from the blank document and finally meet his eyes. There is no stern look on his face, no signs of disappointment or disgust on his features. It helps you calm down a bit. “I’m used to girls being all over Sunwoo, really,” he says, shrugging.
“Yeah…” you sigh. “Sorry for making it all awkward, and stuff. As I said, you don’t have to feel obliged to–”
“I don’t, though,” he hums. The sentiment silences you. You offer him nothing but a nod, suddenly at a loss for words. “Look, we used to be close when we were kids,” he shrugs, “so don’t even worry about it.”
You’re not really sure what his words are meant to imply. Does he mean that you’re friends now again? Does he mean he doesn’t find this whole thing absolutely awkward? Are you supposed to hang out more often now? Do you get his number? 
After trying to clarify everything, you’re left even more confused.
If there’s one thing about Eric Sohn that you remember from your childhood, it’s the fact that he’s friendly. And also… pretty fucking competetive. “It’s almost 4:30. Whoever gives up on their assignment first pays for coffee later, yeah?” he challenges you, looking at you with mischief glimmering in his dark orbs.
You guess both of these qualities stayed with him until adulthood, and although you were awkward with him just a few minutes ago, you don’t really have it in you to overthink the interaction any longer.
“Deal,” you nod.
As if this was all the motivation you needed, you get back to working.
Tumblr media
“Jokes on you, drinking is not a forfeit for me,” Jake, the underclassmen you see around the campus sometimes says after a round of spin the bottle in which he refuses to make out with the person to his right (that was friend Sunghoon from middle school, just for the record), “I actually enjoy it. So–”
“You should stop drinking, dude…” the said friend nudges him to his shoulder, looking at the boy with a concerned look in his eye. It’s no secret that both of them are light drinkers, but one of them is clearly handling his alcohol worse– and it’s the shorter one of the two. 
“Why? You wanna make out with me?”
“I’d rather not carry you home again, that’s all–”
“That sounds a bit sus, Hoon–” Jake snickers before he downs the shot of whatever alcohol is passed to him, “y’know, if you wanted to kiss me, you could’ve just said so…” he slurs, making Sunghoon sigh, closing his eyes for a second to collect himself in time before the frustration in him turns into anger and he swings at his friend.
You can’t help but laugh at the commotion. You don’t really go out to party much– since you and Izzy are introverted, you don’t really search for these types of gatherings– but you figured that doing something other than watching the TV on a Friday evening would be nice. Especially when you were invited by the guy you met in your internship. 
It felt rude to deny an invitation to a party by Park Jihoon, given the fact that you wanted to make friends and connections during your stay with the company. He is an intern just like you– maybe a bit more energetic and extroverted, that’s all. Which you welcome with open arms, just for the record. It’s been a while since an extrovert extroverted the way they are supposed to and adopted you– it’s always a pleasant experience.
You’re also not really the one to participate in a game of spin the bottle. You find such games embarrassing and nerve-wrecking. They induce anxiety in you from what you have to do, and it’s not the good kind. The adrenaline in your veins is enough for you to call it quits, but then again, you’re always good at falling for peer pressure and your roommate’s battling eyelashes are ones you don’t find yourself resisting too often. 
There’s alcohol running through your system, warming you up. Wearing a cropped top and shorts surprisingly didn’t really help you to cool down as you soothe yourself with alcohol after another week of stressing yourself over your damn internship project (which Jihoon offered to help with, but you’re too much of an individualist to let anyone partake in even just the smallest task of your assignment) and after careful consideration, you realize you haven’t had that much to eat before turning up to the party.
Which is always a mistake. Drinking on an empty stomach is one of the biggest flaws you bring with yourself to social gatherings.
“Maybe I should eat,” you suddenly comment, perking up the attention of Jihoon to your right. He looks at you with considerate eyes and nods.
“There should be pizza coming soon, actually.”
“Really?” you gasp, excitement suddenly flowing through your bones. It’s been at least a month since you last had pizza, and you’re slowly starting to crave it. Did Izzy give up on that cute delivery boy? Maybe you should remind her… the pizza was worth it, you must admit.
“Yeah–” 
And as if you wished it into existence, the sound of the doorbell suddenly brings you out of the conversation and has people closest to the door standing up to get it.
It seems like randomly running up to Eric Sohn is your newest hobby. It’s strange how life works– you haven’t seen him in ages, and suddenly, he finds his way to randomly walk back into the plotline of your life casually, as if it was fate. It’s kind of laughable, really. 
Because there he is– standing behind the door with boxes of pizza in his hands, accompanied by his friend Sunwoo holding up even more. The amount could feed a whole village, you think, and you’re suddenly glad you aren’t the one paying for the food, since you’re sure it would add up to a big check. The crowd hollers at the two boys at the door, and it takes you a few seconds to realize it’s not because of the feast they just brought into the building.
“Eric! Sunwoo! Come in, you two!” Jihoon suddenly calls from next to you, waving the two over with a motion of his hand. This has the shorter boy look into the spacious living room, eyes scanning the surroundings. His eyes fix on you for a second, offering you a smile, before they move back to the host.
“Can’t, we’re on the clock, actually,” Eric snickers awkwardly, shrugging.
“Oh come on!” Haechan, the boy that was introduced to you today as Jihoon’s best friend, joins. It seems like everyone around knows exactly who Eric Sohn is, and it leaves you wondering just how you managed to unawarely avoid him for all those years. “Just for a bit!”
“Yeah,” Jihoon adds. “Just stay for like 10 minutes, or something. Actually,” the tipsy boy has a million-dollar idea, “I’m not paying y’all until you stay for a bit. How about that?”
“Great, dude,” Sunwoo laughs, shaking his head in disbelief at his friend’s tactics. “Let’s go in, then.”
The two get ridded of the pizzas they brought, walking up into the room. You feel Izzy poking your leg with her pointer finger repeatedly, and when you look at her, she is staring at you with eyes that remind you of someone slowly slipping into a manic state. You think it’s the effect of Kim Sunwoo entering the room with a smirk on his face, but you’re not really sure at this point.
“What are we playing?” Sunwoo asks the obvious as he sits down, dragging his friend with him. Their spot is currently straight across from you. After more careful examination, you realize Eric’s eyes are glued on your figure, making you smile at him and wave silently before he moves to scan your new friend sitting close to your right. 
The last time you’ve seen Eric was that day at the library. That was almost 2 weeks ago now, and although you went for a coffee after you declared that you ‘simply can’t do it anymore’ and ‘would rather die than to work on this project any longer’, he insisted on paying for both of your drinks instead of making you do it, as was previously agreed on. You exchanged numbers after chatting and walking around for a bit, and although you waited for him to text you the same week, he never did, and you never tried to make conversation either.
Somehow, you simply didn’t know what to say. Then again– it’s not like the two of you were friends in the first place.
The game proceeds like before even with the new members added. Some of the people hanging out around the living room move to eat the pizzas, but if you’re being completely honest, the idea of eating was long forgotten to you the moment Eric and Sunwoo walked through the front door. Admittedly, maybe you did have a considerate amount to drink this evening, because everything is starting to turn into a bit of a blur from this moment. You watch the game absent-mindedly, not really taking much in, as your eyes sometimes subconsciously move to Eric sitting leisurely on the sofa opposite of you.
After a round where Jihoon is asked to suck on Haechan’s toe and Yizhuo is told to confess the last person she hooked up with (which was a guy to whose name everyone gasped, but left you clueless, since you didn’t really know who it was), your biggest fears are proven to be reality as the bottle lands on you. Heartbeat instantly picking up at speed, making you hear your own blood in your ears, you look up from the cursed item and wait to hear your ordeal.
Who would’ve thought playing spin the bottle would feel like a near-death experience?
“Truth or dare?” Yizhuo asks.
After a second of consideration, you blurt out: “Dare.”
Big mistake. At least you can lie when you pick the truth, goddamn it. What was drunk you even thinking…?
“Okay,” she nods, contemplating for a bit. As the gears in her head start working and the idea comes into her brain, a smug smirk appears on her face, hinting that this whole evening was a bad, bad idea. “I dare you to sit in the lap of the hottest guy here for three rounds.”
The crowd goes crazy. 
Girls gasp, guys whistle, and your brain– it completely shuts off. Alcohol should logically make you feel more courageous and daring, no? That’s what they all say. 
You’re the one to prove the sentiment wrong as you gulp and contemplate your next decision. Given the fact that you’re one shot away from throwing up, you decide to not drink to protect yourself– making sure you save your image and don’t embarrass yourself by showing the contents of your stomach to everyone on Park Jihoon’s beige rug.
Scanning the circle, you watch the men situated right in front of you in the living room. It resembles window shopping a bit, except you’re feeling really fucking miserable while doing it. You know it’s all fun and games and that if you take the situation with enough nonchalance, everything will turn out fine– hell, some might not even remember this moment in the morning, so it’s really not that big of a deal– but the more you contemplate the object of your dare, the more nervous you’re starting to feel.
Kim Sunwoo is a clear no go. You and Jihoon are close enough where it wouldn’t feel awkward, but somehow, you know you would be lying to yourself if you picked him. Your eyes smoothly drift past Haechan, Jake and Sunghoon, all the way past Renjun and Jeno to Eric sitting right across from you, eyeing you with interest in his dark orbs. 
The circle is starting to rush you. Jihoon nudges your side, telling you to ‘just pick one,’, making you briefly glance at him with a stern look in your eyes. After your gaze lands back on Eric– whose eyebrows slightly furrow when he notices you paying attention to your new friend– you come to a downing realization of the fact that somehow, your eyes keep landing on the short boy, not really wanting to look away.
It’s alright. It’s nothing. Eric Sohn is conventionally attractive– you’re sure it’s not that big of a deal. 
Standing up from your spot, hearing the crowd pick up the excitement, you walk over to the other side of the circle– while trying not to trip over your own foot and fall over in the process. Eric looks up at you with big eyes glimmering, expecting your final answer, making your palms sweat and voice a little shaky as you awkwardly let out.
“Do you mind…?”
The question is laughable, really. You audibly hear Yeji and Yizhuo squeal in excitement at your action, while Haechan hollers out a laugh from the back. Trying to ignore the reactions, faking nonchalance, you watch as Eric shifts slightly in his spot and moves his hands to his sides, as if to make some space for you, before he shrugs. 
“Go ahead.”
Nodding to yourself, you scratch the back of your neck before you turn your back to him and slowly settle yourself onto his lap. 
And here you thought the delivery boy incident could simply not be beaten on the scale of awkward and embarrassing moments with Eric Sohn.
It’s now your turn to spin the bottle, you realize– which you try to focus on instead of the fact that you are currently sitting in the lap of the guy you grew up with– making you bend to the ground and proceed with the game. Only three rounds and you can move back to your initial spot, you think. You just have to survive three rounds of this stupid game before you’re free.
Watching the empty wine bottle spin in circles before it stops, your eyes move to the side with the opening, trying to see who it landed on. When you look up, your roommate is staring back at you with a suspicious look on her face, not even waiting for you to ask the question to determine her fate. “Dare,” she spits out. 
Her eyes bear into you with such intensity you think she’s trying to tell you something, but right as you try to match her brain frequency and decipher what exactly she wants from you right in this moment, you feel Eric’s hands land lightly onto your sides. 
They don’t move, nor do they put any pressure into your skin. They just lay there, fingers on the skin of your bare midriff, sending an electric shock into your brain that completely shuts off your telepathic communication with Izzy, making you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind.
“Uh… prank call your latest hook up and tell him you want to get together with him,” you say.
She immediately throws darts into your skull, making you regret your decision. 
What? Is it not spicy enough? Judging from the reactions of the rest of the players, you’d say you did a good job– which makes you believe she just didn’t want to expose hooking up with Jaemin in front of everyone.
Nonetheless, she moves on with the dare. You don’t really pay much attention to it as a wave of sickness comes over you. You’re genuinely left seeing things twice, which leads you to close your eyes and rest your head in your hands for a second before a low voice lands into your ear.
“How drunk are you on a scale of 1 to 10?” Eric asks.
“Like… 8, I think?” you snicker. “I’m okay, I just need to–”
Before you get a chance to finish your sentence or even barely think of what would help you in this moment, you feel Eric’s hands on your sides lightly tug your body towards him, leaving you to fully glue your figure onto his. Your back meets his front, sprawling out onto the sofa, leaving you to settle your head onto his shoulder. 
You can’t say your stomach feels less crazy at the moment, but you also can’t say this isn’t strangely nice. “Better?” he asks. 
You think you lost your voice for a second, so you only offer him a nod. 
His next actions leave you wondering if he’s always been this touchy and affectionate. While one of his arms sneaks around your waist and holds you to him, his other palm leaves to take its new place on your thigh. The rational side of your brain is telling you that this is just the most comfortable place to let your arms rest when you have someone sitting in your lap, but it’s still enough to have heat rising up your neck, slowly warming up your face.
A few seconds pass before Eric absent-mindedly starts to draw circles onto your quad, your brain hyper-focused onto the feeling of his forearm on your bare midriff. When he laughs at the way Izzy’s prank call is going– to which he earns a warning look from your roommate to keep quiet and not break the facade– you feel his body vibrating under you, making you realize that you’re the only one out of the two that is so affected by this simple gesture.
It leaves you feeling silly. It must be the alcohol, surely– but god,
Eric Sohn surely has hands that make hell seem cold.
Tumblr media
You’re woken up in the morning to the sound of your roommate screaming, yelling at you. Not only do you already have a massive headache from the hangover you surely accidentally threw yourself in, now you also feel like there is someone cutting parts of your brain off with a knife. (Which sounds contradicting, because you do know the brain can’t be in pain. Why does it feel like that, then?)
“You had the perfect opportunity to think of something that could make me and Sunwoo closer. You could’ve said anything! But no, you chose to–”
“Why are you screaming?” you ask, voice hoarse and quiet, your throat scratchy as you utter the few words.
“–lay in Eric’s lap like a princess and do nothing–” she continues, making you wince. It’s not that you don’t remember the moment, no– you do. The memory is almost painfully crystal clear in your brain, you just didn’t really mean to think of it the first thing in the morning.
“Isabelle,” you grit your teeth and put your pillow over your eyes to shield them from the sunlight that is only making your headache worse, “I’m gonna need you to shut. the. fuck. up–”
“You’re a terrible, terrible wingwoman, I’ll tell you that,” she accuses you.
Suddenly, the cause for her telling looks and annoyed huffs throughout the last night make total sense. Hell, you’re smarter than this– you shouldn’t need explaining for such a simple task. It was your turn to dare your best friend to do something, and the object of her desire was right there. You will blame the shortcoming on your alcohol-infused brain– in Izzy’s eyes, though, it doesn’t really change the narrative.
“I’m sorry,” you mourn, “I wasn’t thinking properly.”
“Yeah, I could see that,” she grunts, tugging the pillow off your face. “At this rate, me and Sunwoo are never gonna be a thing, and I hope you know it’s completely your fault.”
“How could it be my fault?” you grunt, suddenly frustrated with your roommate. She is the one that isn’t sending him obvious enough hints, and it’s your fault he isn’t catching on? Why are you suddenly blamed for something that is completely out of your control? This is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wanting to sit up on your bed and fight against your roommate, but failing to do so before she escapes your room– sensing that you would throw the pillow onto her as soon as you’d get the chance– you sigh and reach for your phone sitting on your bedside table. There is a notification shining at the top of your screen, and when you unlock your phone and absent-mindedly click on the message, you’re taken off guard by the view in front of you.
Eric Sohn [1:21 AM]: hi, just checking in to see if you got home okay?
You read the message over once, then twice, before you decide to reply. Clearing your throat, as if you were going to record a voice message, you think of the most appropriate answer. 
If you’re being honest, you don’t really remember much about how you got home last night– all you know is that after three rounds of spin the bottle, you reluctantly climbed off Eric’s lap, to which him and Sunwoo escaped the party and trailed back to work with excuses of Eric’s sister killing them if they didn’t show up soon. You’re fairly certain that you and Izzy just took a cab home, but since you notice you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes, you assume you weren’t really with yourself at that moment– which is also the sole reason for you not replying to Eric’s message when you first got it.
You [11:10]: hello!! yes we did :) You [11:10]: sorry for replying so late, but as you could see last night i wasnt rlly checking my phone haha..
Surely this is good enough to play it off. Not suspicious at all! Eric Sohn will never know you were drunk off your face and hardly made it through the front door of your apartment. (Except he does know, and you’re also painfully aware.)
And all of this for what..? A bad week at your internship? You’re one of the weak ones, for sure.
Switching apps and deciding to scroll through Instagram for a bit before you get up and face the day– which includes making lunch, because you didn’t have any leftovers left in the fridge– your phone buzzes in your hands, showing you a new message.
Eric Sohn [11:15]: good to hear :) Eric Sohn [11:15]: are u feeling well? 
God. You feel like throwing up– surely the cause of the alcohol still in your system.
 Well, it’s not like he didn’t know before. And you’re a grown woman! There’s no shame in a bit of a hangover. You’re fairly certain he gets them all the time– you two are in university, after all. 
Faking nonchalance, once again, you text back.
You [11:16]: yeah, just a massive headache that’s all :// You [11:16]: im sure lunch will fix it lol
Eric Sohn [11:16]: speaking of… do u wanna get lunch w me? im sure eating out is a better option for u rn haha
Something inside of you panics at the message. You don’t know what it is, but somehow, you always feel a bit awkward with Eric at first. Maybe it’s the fact that you always remember how you grew up together and then vanished out of each other’s lives– without each other even noticing– or maybe it’s the fact that you always feel like you only embarrass yourself in front of him. 
He seems to be casual about things, though. He doesn’t make fun of you for anything– rather, he takes those moments as opportunities to get closer to you and maybe even build back the friendship you were forced into in childhood, but chose in your adulthood. 
There is no reason to overthink his words or actions. It’s Eric, after all.
Eric Sohn [11:17]: me and sunwoo that is, btw. u can bring your roommate if she’s down!:D
Oh. 
Well, at least you have a way to fix things with your butthurt friend. Clearing your throat before calling into the depths of the apartment– because Izzy left your door open, seemingly hinting that it’s time for you to get up and cook lunch– you slowly start getting out of bed.
“Izzy, do you wanna get lunch with Sunwoo, Eric and I?” you ask, a grin slowly appearing on your face. She rewards you with a few seconds of silence– as if trying to tease you– before she gives you the obvious answer. 
“Yeah.”
“Thought so,” you chuckle, sending Eric back a text agreeing to his invitation. 
After a few minutes spent showering and making yourself look presentable, you walk out of the building with your roommate by your side (that’s currently smelling a bit like she just poured the whole perfume bottle over her), nearing the building you decided to meet in over text messages. It’s a small Korean place just down the street, making you wonder if it’s the boy’s favorite, or if he just chose something that was nearby for you out of convenience.
When you open the door and walk into the place, you’re immediately hugged by the smell of delicious food making your stomach churn in hunger and the low music playing in the background. It doesn’t take you long to notice the two boys already sitting at one of the tables, chatting to each other. Sunwoo is very passionate about something, waving his arms around, but the moment you two arrive at the table, their conversation dies down a bit, replaced by warm greetings.
“Wow, you look terrible,” Sunwoo lets out when his eyes meet your figure. The comment makes you shrink in yourself– truth be told, you know you don’t look your best right now, given the fact that your headache was still very much present and you didn’t put any makeup on– but still, it isn’t the best experience to hear someone say it out loud.
“Thanks,” you nod, watching as your roommate eagerly takes a seat next to Sunwoo, her body in respectful, yet close proximity to his, “I feel like it too.”
“Auch–” the said boy lets out, glaring at Eric sitting opposite of him. You’re not really sure what happened, but you don’t pay it much mind as you slowly settle yourself in the last spot possible– next to Eric in the little booth.
“Did you order already?” Izzy asks, clearly more joy and cheerfulness in her body than in yours. You don’t really know how or why she’s not currently dying of a hangover like you are, but something is telling you that maybe, just maybe, you were the only one that took the drinking too far last night. (You and Sim Jake, that is. The poor boy had to run to puke only a few minutes after the game of spin the bottle ended, and it was not a fun sight.)
“No,” Eric shakes his head, “we were waiting for you to get here. Wanna check the menu? We already skimmed through it.”
You nod at his preposition, taking the laminated paper into your hand. You’re always indecisive when it comes to ordering food– never really knowing what to get, because everything is either foreign to you or too appealing, nothing in between, leaving you on the fence about what you’d like to eat at the given moment– and the lengthy list of options in this place isn’t really helping you. 
A sigh escapes your throat at the sight. Truth be told, you’re not even gonna read the whole thing– so you opt to look at Eric to your right with a begging expression on your face.
“Do you know what you’re getting?” you ask, watching him nod.
“Ramen.”
“Is it good?” you inquire, having the boy nod at you casually, replying to your question.
“Pretty good, yeah,” he answers. “Also, I’d argue that it’s the best for a hangover.”
“Perfect. I’ll have that, then,” you note, putting the menu back to its place on the other side of the table, not really wanting to think about it any longer.
When the waiter comes and asks for your order, you notice Eric taking charge and saying your choice as well, ridding you of the burden. Grateful for his initiative, you turn to smile at him in return, before you choose to rest your head in your hands on the table, still not relaxed enough after the long night you had. 
There’s a soothing hand rubbing your back in just a few seconds, pressing comforting circles into the middle of your torso. You think you can’t really blame Sunwoo for making fun of you today– you surely must look like absolute shit.
“Did you two go to the same party?” Sunwoo chuckles, pointing out the obvious difference in your composures. “How come do you not look dead?” he addresses the question to Izzy, curious.
“I can handle my alcohol well,” she hums.
“That’s a lie,” you grunt, eyes still glued to the wooden table, “she just didn’t drink much last night.”
“I think that’s a part of handling my alcohol well–”
“No it’s not,” you squint at her, shaking your head. “Abstinence is not ‘handling alcohol’, you moron.”
“Okay, well, I’m just saying that’s the reason why you look like you have some sort of disease, while I look fresh and beautiful,” she sings in half-seriousness, half-irony, going as far as posing like a flower, offering the whole table her bright smile.
“I mean, you always do,” a low voice echoes around the restaurant, making you snap your head up to gaze at the boy opposite of you that is now refusing to meet anyone’s eye. Eric’s hand freezes on your back, stilling, as a chuckle leaves his throat at his friend’s comment.
Interesting. Sunwoo’s usually cocky demeanor changes as he blushes, scratching the back of his neck. The air gets a little tense as you allow yourself to look your roommate in the eye, a hint of surprise playing with her face. She looks taken aback, but pleased with herself– and you have to give her that. Her magic is finally working.
“So, anyways…” Eric breaks the awkward silence, arm slipping off your back and resting on the table. The absence of the soothing circles on your clothed skin makes you miss it only a little bit, but you won’t really dwell on that any longer or mention it out loud. 
The food comes just in time to diffuse the weird atmosphere, making all of you thank the waiter for the meal and get to eating. You can’t say ramen is your favorite meal on the planet, but you must admit that the way they prepared it here really gets your taste buds on Cloud 9. You’re enjoying every bit of it, salvaging the salty taste and chewing on the noodles, looking like a person that’s been starved for five days with the way you’re just inhaling the food like it’s oxygen.
“Feels nice to finally eat somewhere else than at work,” Sunwoo grunts in pleasure, throwing his head back and letting his eyes close, fully enjoying the moment. 
Eric nods in agreement, having you furrow your brows at them. “You must work a lot.”
“Yeah,” the boy next to you nods, “I do it to help my dad, but the more I work, the more miserable and absolutely boring it gets.”
“I would imagine it to be kind of fun, I dunno,” you hum sheepishly, noticing the boys eyeing you with a deadpan expression on their faces.
“I mean, everything’s better than a corporate job, in my opinion,” Eric throws a jab at you, a smirk playing with his lips. He’s not wrong.
“Don’t even remind me…”
“Still no progress on that thing?” he asks, genuine interest lacing his tone.
Shaking your head, you sigh. “I mean, I did a bit of market research, but nothing to show my boss, that’s for sure. It’s just been rotting my brain for weeks and I feel like I’m frozen with stress that I can’t actually pick it up, y’know?”
Eric nods in acknowledgement, swallowing the last bits of food in his mouth. “Maybe you just need to think about it less.”
“Yeah,” Izzy joins, “take off some steam. Maybe you just need a little break from it.”
“But if I take a break from it, I might never actually start it–”
“That’s ridiculous,” she cuts you off. “You know you work well under pressure.” You sigh at her comment, shaking your head in disapproval. Procrastination isn’t really your favorite thing under the sun, but it’s something you can’t really control during most projects you pick up.  “What do we say we all hang out together when you’re free? To chill, do something fun, get your heads off work…?” 
You look around the table with questioning eyes. You’re not really sure if you crawled across the bridge to the friendship side yet, or if Izzy’s efforts are what is going to do just that. Not really knowing where you stand with the boys– because they did invite you to lunch, but you also hadn’t spoken in a long time before that– you don’t push them for an answer. You’re going to go along with whatever they choose.
“I’m down,” Sunwoo nods, “I bet that if we tell Lisa in advance, she can do the deliveries. There’s a new Deadpool movie coming out next week, wanna go see that?”
You’re not really a fan of Marvel movies nor have you seen the first two parts of the series. The same could be said about Izzy, but she grasps at the invitation like a thirsty woman seeing water after 20 days spent on a desert, nodding eagerly at Sunwoo. It’s almost laughable how easily she agrees to everything the boy has to say. 
You guess you can’t really blame her, though– he is giving her subtle signs of reciprocation with today’s compliment, isn’t he?
You think about it for a while. Looking to your right, facing Eric, you lock eyes with him, as he was already gazing at you and expecting your answer. The boy shrugs at the eye contact, seemingly down to the offer. 
You guess seeing a movie with them isn’t such a bad idea, right?
“Yeah, okay,” you say, “what day is that?”
Tumblr media
Foolish. That’s what you are.
Foolish for thinking you could get everything done in time and actually enjoy your time with your friends. Foolish for thinking you could have a day off when you don’t have to think of all the responsibilities that adult life is throwing at you– because as you realize exactly one day before you’re supposed to see the new Deadpool movie in the cinema with Izzy, Sunwoo and Eric, after a discussion with your boss about how he needs some spreadsheets done before the next day, you realize don’t have enough time in your schedule for both.
Frustration, anger and also a bit of sadness fills your bones as you announce to your friends– in person to Izzy and over a text to Eric– that you probably won’t make it. The boy tells you that if you do end up being able to come after all, you should, which makes you only feel worse at the realization that you are now missing out on what could’ve been a chill afternoon.
The frustration only grows in you when you decide to do your work in the library the next day, not even walking back to your apartment after class– because you realize you not only don’t enjoy any minute of your internship, but you also feel like a failure after not being able to finish any simple task with no bigger issues.
After sending one last message to your friends about how you’re stuck in the library for the time being, you try to drown yourself in work– while simultaneously trying to ignore the clock in the corner of your screen telling you the exact minutes you’ve spent missing out on the plans.
You don’t really know how much time passes before a hand lands on your shoulder, making you jump violently in your seat. Your heart starts beating a thousand miles an hour as you turn your head to make out who is the cause of your heart attack, preparing yourself for the screaming match you’re very well mentally ready for.
Up until… you notice who’s standing behind you, offering you a gentle smile.
“Sorry. Did I scare you?” he asks, laughing softly at your shaken composure.
“I almost died, dude!” you scold him, shaking your head at the boy. Something inside of you lights up at the idea of a distraction from your workload, your heart squeezing on itself when you scan your visitor over– from the bottom of his feet cladded in simple Nike pandas to the top of his head covered not only by a beanie, but also the hood of his gray sweater.
“Sorry,” he once again apologizes, eyes glimmering in amusement.
“What are you even doing here?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion and checking the time on your laptop. “The movie starts in a few minutes!”
Out of all the people on the whole entire planet, Eric Sohn is the last person you’d expect to appear in the library exactly at this moment. The sheer presence of him right in front of you makes you blink a few times in hopes of figuring out if his existence is not a fata morgana, watching as the boy only shrugs at you in nonchalance.
“Ah, that…” he hums. “I actually brought you a treat, since you said you will be stuck in the library the whole day,” he says, offering you a bag containing something sweet-smelling.
Once you take a better look at what he’s holding in front of you, your stomach churns and your tastebuds yearn for the sugary dough he must have gotten in the bakery at the corner of the campus on his way here– pink glazing and colorful sprinkles, almost bringing tears into your eyes in appreciation. “What? Why?” you ask. “You didn’t have to…”
“I figured there was no use going to the cinema if you’re not going,” he explains– his words making a nervous little bug fly around your stomach. “Since I’m sure Sunwoo and Izzy wanted to go alone anyways, I didn’t wanna be a third-wheel.” 
Oh. Right. You forgot about that part.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave them alone together, to be honest,” you say, making Eric chuckle at your comment.
“This might either be the best, or the worst thing on the whole entire planet.”
“Agreed,” you nod.
Eric sends you a prolonged look in which you realize you haven’t accepted his offering yet, making you reach for the bag containing the donut and placing it onto the table, right next to your laptop. “But really, thank you,” you nod, “you didn’t have to. I’m sure you have other things you could be doing…”
“I wanted to make your stay in the library more pleasant,” Eric says, shrugging. His figure is still towering over you– as he’s standing and you’re sitting down– something about the fact making you wish he would take a seat next to you and maybe even stay for a minute. “I imagine it’s gonna be a long day for you…”
“Yeah,” you sigh. “All thanks to my stupid internship and my stupid boss and this stupid assignment…” you ramble, watching as Eric’s lips turn into a soft smile. What he’s smiling at, you’re not really sure– the topic of the conversation is already miserable enough for you without actually doing any of the things you’re complaining about– but you drop it as the boy crouches next to you, putting his arm around your chair.
“What do you need to do?” he asks, interested.
“I just need to finish this spreadsheet,” you hum, “which isn’t that hard, it’s just a lot of tedious work that no one wants to do, so of course it falls on the intern.”
“That’s the beauty of an internship,” Eric jokes.
“Do you even intern?”
“No,” he laughs, shaking his head. “But I’d like to see what it’s like. Want help with that? I can read the numbers out for you so you don’t get lost in all those rows and columns,” he suggests, pointing to the amount of reports waiting at your desk, waiting to be digitized.
“Oh, it’s okay,” you sheepishly say, although touched with the offer. He’s probably only saying it to be nice– but that’s still enough for appreciation to grow in your chest. “You don’t have to stay and do boring things with me just because we were supposed to hang out today. Actually, you should hurry so you can get to the cinema on time–”
In your peripheral vision, you watch as the boy stands up from his crouched position only to pull out a chair from one of the empty seats, placing it next to yours so he has a view of your laptop. Before you get a chance to protest any longer, he’s sat in the seat with one of his legs popped up and resting on the bottom construction of your chair, hands reaching for the papers that you could physically drown in sprawled all over your desk. 
“Don’t be silly. I’d rather do anything else than to watch Sunwoo embarrassingly try to flirt with your friend,” he chuckles. “So, which numbers do you need?”
“Eric, really–”
“These ones?” he persists, not even giving you a chance to protest any longer. 
Eyes meeting– his big and honest, a warm pool of honey– yours a little tired, but still filled with tender appreciation, he waits for you to answer and explain how he can help you. He patiently awaits your instructions, wanting to make your life a bit easier– and something about that makes your heart leap in your chest.
You guess you’d say you and Eric are friends now. Yeah, you definitely are.
“Look, the sooner you’re done, the sooner you can get out of here and get another donut with me on your way home. Because trust me, I thought I could resist, but the more I look at the one I brought you, the more I kinda want one for myself…”
Laughing, you shake your head at his boyish antics. He looks so casual right now– like someone cut out of your everyday life, like someone you’ve known for years and are destined to know forever. 
You show him which row he should read out loud for you. You share the donut with him. It takes a bit longer than you expected and the donut place is closed when he walks with you home, but he assures you it’s okay– you can get one another time.
Tumblr media
“Five iced americanos, two lattes, one iced tea– do you want anything?” Jihoon turns to you with raised eyebrows, getting a look of your sulking face.
“No,” you bite back, anger getting the worst out of you. 
“Okay, so we’ll also add another americano and a flat white, please,” your coworker slash friend turns back towards the barista, smiling at him and paying with the corporate card.
After the two of you move into the line waiting for drinks, you continue on with your little tangent. 
“So they think they can make me do all the dirty work, leave me with no time to do anything and announce tasks at the last second, only to be bitchy and don’t even say thank you when I do everything they tell me to?” you snap, scowling at Jihoon. “And then they decide that oh, maybe I’m not good enough to do all those fucking spreadsheets for them, so I am demoted to a coffee runner?!” you yell out, having the heads of the rest of the customers turn to you with annoyed and concerned looks on their faces.
“Okay, so we are going to calm down–” 
“I don’t wanna calm down!”
Jihoon laughs at your little outburst– which only makes you more frustrated– before he puts a finger against your lips to silent you, an amused expression taking over his face. “Don’t scream when we are inside, at least.”
After his finger leaves your lips, you are left staring at him with a sharp look– like a child that is mad because it didn’t get a new toy it liked in the store. You acknowledge that you might be acting a bit overly-dramatic at the moment, but you also still think your feelings and thoughts are justified. 
You hate the corporate lifestyle. You despise how you have to be a stuck-up to climb it, and how hard work never truly gets you anywhere if you don’t have connections.
Which is why Liu Yangyang is currently helping your boss with all major tasks, getting the experience he truly needs for his degree, while you and Jihoon were sent to get coffee for the whole office. Amazing, isn’t it? The way you can feel so looked down upon, even though you’re aware this is the place you’re supposed to be in, this is how you’re supposed to be treated.
You’re just an intern, nothing else. But sometimes, the uneven weight of responsibilities you get at work makes you stressed and nervous that one day, you’ll have too much on your shoulders to bear while all the other time, you aren’t even worthy of a normal task.
“I hope each and every one of them burns their tongue on that fucking coffee,” you grunt, making Jihoon only laugh harder.
“At least half of them ordered iced americanos, babe.”
A sigh escapes your throat at that. “Okay, so I hope they all spill the drink onto them,” you refute, making Jihoon grin.
“You’re so petty,” he points out as he stands close to you, suddenly deciding to use you as his own personal armrest. “Besides, I think you should appreciate that you don’t have to do a lot today, don’t you think? It’s nice to get a breather. I know I wouldn’t wanna be in Yangyang’s shoes right now.”
“I guess so,” you sigh, looking up to meet the tall boy’s eyes. “But it makes me feel like they don’t think we’re good enough for anything else.”
“And if that’s my crime, then so be it,” he playfully shrugs. “At least I’ll have the experience on my CV and I can graduate.”
“I’d love to have your mindset,” you muse.
“It’s quite easy, actually,” he nods. “You should get it into that pretty brain of yours,” he says as one of his fingers points to the side of your skull, making you scrunch your nose at him and try to avert the contact. 
Jihoon is persistent, though, as he suddenly makes it his quest to ruffle your hair to tease you and make it all disheveled. The two of you get into a play-fight of some sort, consisting of you trying to wrestle the boy off and him trying to make your life a living hell in any way he can, when he abruptly stops and raises his eyebrows at someone behind you, offering them a wave.
“Yo, dude! Hi!” he greets, making you turn your head to see who he is addressing.
There, standing just a few meters in front of you in the line, is Eric Sohn wearing cargo pants and a loose shirt, earphones hanging around the base of his neck. After being greeted by your friend, he moves closer to the two of you, smiling.
“Hi!” he says, paying both of you an up-and-down scan. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” Jihoon replies for the both of you, settling to his previous position of resting half his body-weight against your shoulder. You’ve grown used to his nature– playful and friendly, much like an older brother would act– so you don’t really mind the casual touch and teasing from him. “We were sent here to get coffee for the whole building, so we’re just doing that while Y/N here complains about everything–”
“I don’t complain about everything, just the systematic oppression of interns in the workplace–”
“Yeah, whatever you say,” Jihoon cuts you off, snickering. “What about you?”
Eric watches the two of you bickering with furrowed brows before he clears his throat, shrugging. “On my way to class,” he says, “I’m late already, so I figured a few more minutes while I get my coffee won’t hurt me in the long run.”
“Very responsible of you,” you joke, watching as the boy in front of you laughs, paying you a short look.
“Look, I don’t have any big responsibilities like the two of you do, so…”
“Y/N, on the contrary, doesn’t think getting coffee for the corporate people is enough of a responsibility,” Jihoon chimes in, making Eric’s eyes shift towards the taller boy, sending him a look slightly different to the one he gives you.
“She just doesn’t really know how to chill out,” Eric nods. 
“Hello?” you snicker. “I’m literally right here.”
The shorter one looks at you with glimmering eyes, shrugging. “It’s something you have to hear,” he notes. “Truth hurts, but it’s better than lying to yourself.”
Just after that, an order is called that makes Eric’s attention perk up, turning around to the barista. “I think that’s me,” he says, taking a step back towards the counter to retrieve his coffee. “I better get going, but it was nice seeing you two,” he nods.
“Us two…” Jihoon whispers next to you, making you look at him with furrowed brows, confused.
“It was nice seeing you too!” you nod instead, smiling.
“I’ll see you around!” Eric says. Before he completely disappears to the top of the line and out of the coffee shop, he turns to you one more time. “Oh and Y/N, we should hang out again sometime… Text me?”
“Oh, sure,” you agree, your stomach fueled with a strange kind of sensation at his words. You know you should’ve had breakfast in the morning– surely it’s just you being hungry. “I’ll- I’ll text you.”
Only after Jihoon waves at him, finally ridding you off the burden of being his personal armrest, do you realize how hot you feel in your cheeks and how you’ve spent the last couple of seconds carefully, intensively watching Eric get his coffee and step out of the building. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere suddenly too quiet to the one there was between the two of you before Eric Sohn arrived, you feel Jihoon elbow you in your side.
“So,” he starts, already hinting that this is going to be a difficult conversation, “what’s up with you and Sohn?”
“Hm?” you snap your head around to face him, almost breaking your neck with the force. “What do you mean, what’s up with me and Eric? There’s nothing up between the two of us.”
“Sure… and he wasn’t staring at me like he wanted to personally kill me with his own two hands just now, correct?” he teases, making you stop in your tracks.
Was Eric looking at him like that? You didn’t even notice.
“Correct,” you agree. “I don’t really think he was…”
“And my name is not Jihoon–”
“Stop being so difficult to talk to all the time, dear god–”
“Okay, miss ‘I find Eric Sohn to be the hottest one in the world’–”
“When have I ever said that?!” you call out again, suddenly feeling a little too hot in your cheeks, ears, and the back of your neck. What’s up with this visceral reaction? You swear you were nonchalant about these things!
“Oh, sorry, let me correct myself. It was the hottest one in the room, actually, but I think that speaks for itself, since Lee Heeseung himself was present–”
“Are you jealous, or something?” you choose to counter attack, leaving Jihoon to laugh at you in amusement.
“As if,” he shakes his head at you. “I just think it’s cute how whenever I see you two interact, he acts like a lost puppy following you and you’re too oblivious to do anything about it.”
“No, he doesn’t,” you furrow your brows at him, the words not even fully registering in your brain. What does he even mean by all of this? You and Eric are friends– that’s all there is to it.
“Sure… stay being like that and end up a bitchless loser forever, then,” he shrugs. You’d react more to his pointless arguments– because let’s be real, he is just making all of this up to stir some drama– but your awfully long order is called right in the moment you open your mouth to come up with a clever comeback, and so you choose to drop the topic, because it’s quite meaningless in your eyes anyway.
Walking back with two cup holders in your hands, fulfilling your one and only task of the day, you turn to Jihoon with a teasing grin. “Wait, did you just call Lee Heeseung sexy?”
“It was purely objective–”
Tumblr media
“I really hate this, y’know?” you mutter as you stand in front of the gates of the amusement park, your cheerful roommate standing by your side bouncing on her feet as she waits in excitement.
“Shut up,” she says, a smile never leaving her face despite your gloomy expression, “don’t ruin this for me.”
“Well, it’s either you or me that is going to have their day ruined, and I think that judging by the fact that I’m already here, we know which one is going to turn true,” you say as you aimlessly look around, watching people going in and out of the premises of the park, some with goofy headbands on, some holding balloons– all of them sickly in love.
“It’s not like I invited you to a funeral, y’know,” Izzy grunts, “you could just act happy for me. It wouldn’t hurt you, y’know–”
“I would act happy for you if you didn’t feel the need to drag me to your dates with you–”
“Stop being such a party popper, dude. You’re going to have fun if you just allow yourself to,” she rolls her eyes at you. Yeah, she might be right about some parts of her argument– you got free tickets to the amusement park, which you love, just for the record– and you also have a day off from your internship and classes, which makes any day basically the best day on earth for you, but there is one thing about this whole situation that is making you doubt it just the tiniest bit.
That being the fact that you’re tagging along to a date. And you’re not alone in it– which automatically makes this whole thing seem a little too similar to a double date.
“I just don’t want him to think I see this as a–”
Your argument is quickly shut off as your roommate physically squeals into your ear before running off, feet automatically taking her to her sweetheart. Sunwoo is quick to catch her in his arms when she jumps into his hold, excited to see him despite hanging out with him two days ago, and you’re left walking slowly to the two approaching figures alone.
The moment you see Eric Sohn wearing tan cargo pants and a red windbreaker over his figure, your throat goes dry. His eyes light up a bit when they land on you, which makes the reality of not being able to run away anymore settle deep inside of your bones, and suddenly, you feel strangely nervous in his vicinity. 
This hasn’t happened to you yet around him– if you don’t count all the moments where you embarrassed yourself in front of him, feeling painfully awkward. However, the fact that this whole situation is too similar to a double date is making you feel slightly weak in your knees simply because of the fact that you don’t want Eric to think you want this to be a double date. You only went because Izzy promised to wash the dishes for you for two weeks if you did, and that’s an offer nobody should turn down, you think.
The idea of Eric Sohn thinking you want to go on a double date with him makes you feel agonizingly embarrassed. You two are just friends– nothing more, nothing less– and you wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea. You would never think of yourself as someone Eric would invite over for a date in the first place anyway– you don’t want him to have a feeling that you suddenly have high thoughts about yourself.
“Y/N! Hi!” Your thoughts are quickly cut off when you hear the boy himself greet you cheerfully, walking up to you to envelope you in a short hug. 
His arms sneak around you only for a moment, but you feel yourself automatically reciprocating the gesture before it even has a chance to register in your brain. You don’t really know when the two of you passed to the level of friendship where you greet each other with a hug– maybe the few text messages you shared since you last saw him in the coffee shop might have done the work– but you try to not question it when he pulls away, leaving you awkwardly standing around and watching Sunwoo and your roommate gaze romantically into each other’s eyes.
“Today’s gonna be tough,” Eric notes.
Chuckling at his words, knowing he’s referring to the honeymoon stage your friends have somehow ended up in– because you still can’t believe Izzy managed to date the boy after her embarrassing attempts– you just shake your head and move towards the entrance of the amusement park, not really wanting to pay any more attention to the couple than you have to.
“It is,” you agree, “I wouldn’t have agreed to go for this exact reason, but the idea of rides persuaded me,” you hum.
“I only went because this was the only way I could get a day off at work,” Eric mutters, “my stupid sister insisted I come with Sunwoo or else she wouldn’t cover my shift.”
“That’s strange,” you chuckle, furrowing your eyebrows at him. “Why would she care?”
“I dunno,” he shrugs, “said something about ‘enjoying my youth’, or something,” he grins. “I don’t really even like amusement parks, if I’m being honest.”
“You don’t?” you gasp, shaking your head at the boy. “Damn. I would think you’re an adrenaline junkie, if I’m being honest.”
“I am!” he agrees, nodding. “The other day, though, I saw a Tiktok about a ride breaking down somewhere in Japan, and that was the same day Sunwoo invited me here, so I think it might’ve been a sign from the universe to not go on any of these rides, or else I will die.”
Laughing at his words, shaking your head, you lightly slap his arm at the comment. “Don’t say that,” you tell him, “you’re just being a scaredy cat, admit it.”
“No…” he suspiciously shakes his head, very obviously lying.
“Yeah, right…” you snicker. “I mean, it’s okay, dude. I won’t laugh.”
“You’re already laughing, though?” Eric points out, an accusing finger in your face. His actions make you burst into even bigger giggles, eyes meeting his. When your gaze lands onto his face– the upper half shielded by the shade casted off his cap, yet still having his eyes crinkled up and cheeks full as he grins at you wide and warm in the sunlight– your stomach does that weird thing again, completely ruining the moment.
Clearing your throat, trying to keep your composure, you turn your head to search for Izzy and Sunwoo. The moment you catch them in makes your eyes go big and a grunt leave your throat involuntarily– the PDA making you even sicker to your stomach. While Sunwoo is standing in front of your roommate, his arms securely around her middle, she is gazing up into his eyes with a pout decorating her lips. The boy holds her cheeks in his hands for a brief moment before he leans in and gives her a short kiss that makes the girl stand up on her tippy toes, chasing for another one.
“Oh wow,” you let out, making Eric sigh next to you at the sight.
“Now that’s…”
“Yeah,” you nod while you turn back forward, trying your hardest to not look at the two of them any longer than you physically have to. “I knew they would be like that if they started dating. It’s like my worst nightmares came true.”
“Sunwoo can’t stop talking about her either. I’m starting to think I will know more about your roommate than you do, at this rate.”
“You might,” you agree, laughing to yourself. “With how many nights she’s spent at his place, I’m starting to think she’s going to move out soon.”
“Well, that’s only good for you then, no?” 
“Yeah,” you agree, joking. “The only reason why I still keep her around is to pay half the rent, if I’m being honest,” you chuckle, having the boy shake his head at your playful antics.
The two of you move forwards slowly while looking around the place, trying to see what you should do. The sun is strangely aggressive today, making it hard for you to see as you squint in the brightness– since the amusement park doesn’t really provide you with much shade– only making you a bit more frustrated with your choice of plans today.
“Should we get some drinks first?” Eric asks, pointing towards a stand that sells coffee, milkshakes and other beverages.
The line is long, but you don’t really see a reason not to wait. You have the whole day in front of you, after all, and since it seems to you that Sunwoo and Izzy have taken it upon themselves to ignore you two completely, acting like this was their own date, you choose to stick to whatever Eric wants to do. 
As you move to stand next to him– while also moving out of someone’s way– the back of your hand comes in contact with the boy’s next to you, having a slight wave of electricity run through your spine as you clear your throat and move away from him, wishing he didn’t notice. You take it upon yourself to look around to see what your next choice of plan should be.
After ignoring many couples walking around– since it seems that you chose a day when no other visitors were around, just teenagers holding hands and kissing in front of the rides (much like your friends are doing right now)– you opt to point your eyes at the horizon, looking at the tall constructions and rides. You have to shield your eyes from the sun with your hand to really see them, but the sight of them excites you a bit, so you guess it’s worth it. Squinting at the Pirate ride or the big rollercoaster twisting and turning like a caterpillar in the distance, you make a mental note of all the attractions you want to visit today.
Slowly moving to the top of the line to get coffee with Eric, you continue gazing behind him, blissfully unaware that he’s been watching you the whole time, noticing your little struggle. 
“After we get the coffee, I wanna go on that roller coaster there,” you hum, “and I’m bringing you with me, because Sunwoo and Izzy–”
Your words get caught in your throat as the man suddenly moves the hand you’ve been resting against your eyebrows to shield your eyes from the sunlight down, replacing it by taking his cap off and making you wear it. Your heart jumps at the action, eyes finally relaxing now that they’re in shade, making you gulp and stare at Eric.
“You don’t have to–”
“I have my sunglasses with me, so it’s fine,” he says, tugging the peak further down your head in a teasing way, a smile adorning his face.
You forgot what you were even saying in the first place– the idea of Eric’s hat on your head making your brain overheat a little with the added fabric on top of your hair. It’s the same cap you see on him often– his favorite one, you think– and your stupid, silly brian is starting to make connotations around the action that you’re sure are not correct.
You can’t say you’re not happy about wearing it, though. It does help your eyes.
“You were saying?” he asks, making you look back at him with big eyes, trying to think of what you were talking about before.
“Oh,” you hum, while also simultaneously reaching to fix his hair– since he hasn’t bothered to after taking off his hat for you– not even thinking about your actions as you run your fingers through the honey strands, “I was just saying you’re gonna have to go on some rides with me, because the lovebirds are ignoring us and I am not going alone,” you repeat.
When you’re done moving the blonde locks to their supposed place, eyes drifting back to Eric’s– now big and watching your every move, making you falter a little under his gaze and heat creep onto your cheeks– it’s his turn to clear his throat, shrugging.
“You’ll have to hold my hand when I get scared, though,” he says. The casualty of his tone shocks you, having you watch as the boy averts his gaze from you and presses his lips together into a thin line, not even paying a second thought to the implications of his words.
You pay them a second thought, though.
You keep repeating the words in your brain over and over, fingertips buzzing at the preposition, hands sweating at the mental image. Do you mind the thought of it?
Well, no. You don’t.
Not a big deal, after all…
“What did you want again? Flat white?” he asks, completely ignoring the previous conversation. You didn’t even realize you got to the top of the line, too deep in your thoughts, and before you have a chance to take out your wallet to pay for your drink (or maybe even Eric’s, since he paid the last time), he is holding the cup up to you already.
As you take it from him, your fingers touch again. It makes a warm pool of honey glisten in the pit of your stomach, foolishness creeping up your bones.
The boy takes it upon himself to shock you even further as he swings an arm around your shoulders, tugging you close to him. “Let’s go back to the lovebirds before they forget about our existence completely.”
You choose to ignore the fact that you forgot about their existence yourself.
When you get on the ride a few minutes later, Eric holds onto your hand. Your heart beats a thousand miles an hour, but you will write it off to the adrenaline– you do, however, foolishly wish he was scared more often. 
Tumblr media
Turns out having Park Jihoon as your coworker isn’t as bad as it seems. Sure, he is good at making the atmosphere lighter in the office and also amazing at gossip in the workplace, but he is also surprisingly very good at his job– and with the date of your presentation fastly approaching, you had to get all the help you needed. 
Which is why you made the boy sit with you in the park as you went over it again and again, showing him your laptop and rehearsing your speech, taking notes of every little thing Jihoon said you should fix or add into the whole thing. You genuinely appreciate what he’s doing for you, which is why you also remind yourself to get him something after the internship is done– but after at least two hours of working on your laptop with him, he gets tired and his attention span seems to get shorter and shorter– and you don’t really blame him. 
Actually, you welcome the distractions he offers with open hands. Even more so, you add on to them and fuel them with more conversation, the laptop opened on your thighs long forgotten as you search through your gallery and show the phone screen to your friend, talking about the cute pillows you found at the store last week.
“See? They’re like… sea foam green, but Izzy says they wouldn’t go with our couch,” you hum, furrowing your brows at him, trying to see a different opinion on your newest choice of furniture for the already overcrowded flat.
“What color is your couch again?” he asks as you keep swiping, showing him all the angles of the pillows.
“Brown.”
“Oh, hell no,” Jihoon shakes his head, “that’s a Perry the platypus type of combo, I’m with Izzy on this one– oop, that doesn’t look like the pillows anymore–”
Swiftly turning the phone towards you again, worried of what picture you accidentally revealed to him (while you don’t have any nudes on your phone, you’re sure any selfie would be just as much embarrassing), you’re left with heat rising to your cheeks and shame drowning your system. 
“Well, anyways, so the pillows–”
“We’re not talking about the pillows anymore, girl–”
“We are–”
“No,” he keeps interrupting you, making you grunt and sigh as you rest your head against the trunk of the tree behind you, banging it against it in frustration.
“Shut up,” you mutter. The thing is, you know you won’t escape the teasing now– because Park Jihoon watching you swipe through your gallery to a high-angle selfie of Eric Sohn in his work uniform, pouting, is surely a very incriminating image. “We text on Whatsapp and he sent the pic, so it automatically saved–”
“And you just never deleted it, naturally,” Jihoon hums with a shit-eating grin on his face. 
“I forgot–”
“You just didn’t want to–”
“Oh shut the fuck up,” you sigh again, locking your phone and throwing it into the grass. 
You and Eric have grown close since the day you spent together in the amusement park. So much to the point where you get lunch together sometimes and he sends you selfies when he’s bored at work, it seems. You don’t mind the subtle shift– hell, you welcome it with open arms– you just wish Park Jihoon (and Izzy, at this point) would stop teasing you about something that was not even vaguely true.
There is nothing going on between you and Eric Sohn.
And nothing ever will be– not a chance.
“I think the denial is being a little embarrassing now,” Jihoon chirps, making you swat his shoulder. You are not in denial– there is nothing to deny.
“You are being a little embarrassing.”
“You know I’m right,” Jihoon shrugs, grinning. Does he not have enough drama in his own life to stick his nose into yours? Not that there is any drama between you and Eric– but you bet Park Jihoon would love to create some.
“You’re never right.”
“Sure,” Jihoon hums. “I’ll mention this on your wedding speech–”
“I’ll kill you before I get married,” you grunt.
“But you didn’t deny the identity of the groom–”
Launching at the boy again, a threatening fist almost landing to his cheek, you watch as he wrestles you away with a loud laugh resonating through the space. Something about how lightly he takes the situation makes your stomach churn in an unknown emotion– you really don’t see why everyone thinks there should be something going on between you and your childhood friend.
“Look, all I’m saying is that if you want this to be a thing, maybe you should finally make a move, since the guy seems to be dull as fuck–”
Interrupting, never letting him finish a sentence when it comes to this topic, you try to finally prove your point. “I don’t want this to be a thing. I don’t even know what you’re talking–”
“I should go before I’m killed,” Jihoon suddenly hurries out, making you furrow your brows at him.
“What?”
“See you on Monday!” the tall male waves, scattering to his feet. He doesn’t give you much explanation as he runs off to the other side of the campus, making you watch him with confused eyes. Where has he gone so quickly? He doesn’t want to be killed? 
By whom? Should you be afraid? Should you run as well?
Somebody clears his throat next to you, making you jump as you turn your head to see who is disrupting your peace. The moment your eyes meet the intruder, Jihoon’s comment finally settles in– god, you’ll kill him when you see him again.
“Eric! What are you doing here?” you ask, watching as the boy shrugs, taking a seat next to you on the grass.
“Just got off work,” he says, “and you said you’ll be here, so I thought I’d come and say hi,” he hums, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.
The sentiment makes you mentally coo– the emotion going as far as reaching your face in a form of a gentle pout– as you dwell deeper over his words. You didn’t think that complaining about how you have to do work would make Eric think of visiting you after finishing his own, but something about it makes you all warm from the inside.
“You didn’t have to,” you hum. “You seem tired.”
A gentle smile is sent your way, so illuminizing it makes you look away. “I know, but I wanted to,” he says, “I also brought you leftovers, if you want some. It’s almost dinner time.”
An involuntary gasp leaves your throat as you watch the male take out an aluminum wrap from his backpack and offer it to you alongside his bright grin. You waste no time in taking the pizza slices into your hand and carefully unwrapping them, allured by the smell.
“Why did Jihoon run so fast, by the way?” Eric asks, laughing.
“Oh, he said he was late for something…” you hum. (You’re not even convinced of your own excuse. You don’t know how Eric doesn’t see right through your lies.)
“Ah,” the boy nods in acknowledgement, scooping closer to you so his back is now resting against the tree, his eyes gluing themselves onto your laptop screen. His piney smell fills your nose, making your stomach feel like it’s on water, before his soft, tired voice lands into your ear. “Did you make a lot of progress?”
“Mhm,” you nod, clicking through the slides and showing him. The boy makes an acknowledging sound after each new information you tell him– something that makes you find him immensely endearing– as you simultaneously reach for the pizza and mindlessly offer the slice you’ve already bitten into to him, watching as his straight teeth chew down into the dough, sharing one piece with you.
“Are you done for the day? I’ll walk you home,” he says, tiredness completely seeping through his tone now. You can tell he needs sleep– which makes you feel slightly bad about making him take a detour just to meet you.
“Almost,” you hum apologetically, closing your laptop. “I just need to read a few more articles Jihoon recommended for me and then I should be done,” you say, reaching for your iPad as you put your computer away into your bag. 
“Okay,” he nods.
“You can go home, Eric,” you say, “you don’t have to stay for me.”
“No, it’s fine,” he shakes his head, smiling at you. 
Watching him, eyes meeting for a heartbeat, you see that he won’t budge no matter how harshly you’d tell him to go– so you figure that quickly getting through the articles and going home is your safest bet in this situation. Tapping on the screen and finding the email Jihoon forwarded to you, you open the first link in the message, subconsciously registering as the boy next to you gets comfortable sitting in the grass with you.
You only get through half of the (lengthy) article before you see Eric’s head lolling forwards, sleep taking over him. The motion wakes him, but not for long as he just can’t keep his eyes open anymore– the combination of a long shift, classes in the morning and finishing up his assignments late in the night getting the worst out of him and making you feel immensely bad for the boy. Not focused on the words in the article anymore, you watch as your friend scooches further down in the grass, acting on instinct as his head suddenly rests against your shoulder, soft hair tickling the side of your neck. 
Heart leaping in your chest and whole body freezing– begging the universe to not make the boy wake up from his half-asleep state right now– you try your hardest to pay attention to the business tactics described in the article you’ve been reading for the last couple of minutes. It seems to be the hardest task you’ve ever set your mind on, though, as you notice the screen of your tablet getting dark, mirroring Eric’s relaxed face.
His neck is craned and his eyes are closed shut, making you turn your head to watch the sight first-hand, mentally counting all the eyelashes kissing his cheekbones and his puffed-out lips. Something about his pose doesn’t seem the tiniest bit comfortable, though– although it makes a strange wave of satisfaction run through your veins– and so, like any other decent person, you gently cradle your fingers through his hair, waking him up.
“Hmm?” 
“Your neck is gonna be sore,” you quietly say as you put your arm around his shoulder, “just lay down, yeah?” you say, doing your best at adjusting his position.
The male lets you navigate him with half-lidded eyes as you make him scooch even further down into the grass before you pull his upper body towards your lower half, essentially making the boy lay his head into your lap. Eric looks up at you from his new position for just a few seconds, eye contact reminding you of a small, shy puppy you just brought home from the road, making you smile softly and treat him as one when you instinctively reach out and pet his head, running your fingers through his soft strands and gently scratching his scalp.
After a few seconds, the male closes his eyes again, seemingly drifting off into the dreamland. Your actions soothe him and simultaneously bring you into some sort of trance you can’t bring yourself out of– eyes glued to his face, studying it.
The angle of his nose and the slope of his upper lip is much more enjoyable to study and memorize than the sales statistics of your job’s concurrency. You find his long eyelashes to be nothing far from angelic, his light hair like a crown of gold under your touch. Everything about him is soft and gentle in this state– with the golden hour shining down onto his features, making his skin glisten like honey– the view so pretty you’d like to take a picture to remember it forever.
Your head spins and your stomach does that weird thing again. This is not the first time you are acknowledging Eric’s attractiveness– just the first time you are appreciating his beauty, his prettiness to the point where you are enchanted by it, not able to tear your attention away. You can’t deny the fact that it affects you anymore.
You can’t deny the fact you feel around him lately. It makes you feel strange and embarrassed, but not to the point where you’d want to keep away from him.
Your iPad is thrown next to you on the grass, forgotten and abandoned. You’re jealous of the sun– for it’s able to kiss his cheeks without fear, without judgment– the boy turning into a putty under your touch, subconsciously leaning into it when you drag his light bangs away from his forehead. 
You admit the fact that you stopped working on your project the moment he arrived, not able to put your attention elsewhere than to his presence. You’re also aware he’d sleep better and more comfortably in his own bed, but for some reason, you selfishly want to keep him there– looking like a painting, something akin to a poem you wish you wrote.
Just for the moment, you let the reality down on you– that maybe Park Jihoon was right and there is no use denying the obvious anymore. Just for the moment, you let the feeling consume you, eat you alive. For now, though, the boy in your lap is all yours to admire. Blissfully unaware and painfully beautiful, soft and gentle all around.
The feeling inside of you is too raw, too real and so much different to anything you’ve ever known before.
When you’re satisfied with the dose of skinship, you wake the boy up and let him walk you home. You pretend for a moment the feeling is reciprocated and not left scared and lonely out in the open as Eric helps you carry your stuff for you and pulls you into a bear hug in front of your doorstep. You don’t tell him that you had the scariest realization while he was soundly asleep in your arms– it’s too scary and too real and you’re not ready to get your heart broken just yet. 
You pretend everything’s like before. Normal. 
You convince yourself that it will pass.
Tumblr media
Once you enter the place, you’re instantly surrounded by the sound of people talking amongst each other, forks and glasses being put down, resonating through the whole place, the phone ringing somewhere in the distance, and a cold shot of liquid coming in contact with your stomach, making you gasp out in surprise.
“Oh shit!” Sunwoo grunts as he registers the mess he just caused, looking up at you with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry!”
Noticing the rush everywhere in the pizzeria and the amount of customers he has to take care of, you can’t really blame him for not watching where he’s going. Still, your face slowly morphs into a subtle frown at the realization that there is now a dark stain on your favorite white T-shirt, your outfit for the evening ruined– meaning half of your confidence disappeared just as fast as the Coca-Cola did from the glass Sunwoo has been holding. 
“It’s okay,” you sigh, shaking your head. “It’s nothing–”
“I’ll get you a towel! I’ll be right back,” the boy urgently says as he makes you hold the half-empty glass of the beverage he just spilled all over you, making you shrug and question if you should just drink the rest of it as a price of consolation.
“Dude, this place is packed,” Izzy grunts from next to you, “can’t even blame him for being all over the place, at this point.”
“Yeah,” you absent-mindledly nod, eyes searching in the crowd to find the figure you came here for in the first place. Not that you only want his presence, no– it’s just that Eric was the one who invited you to the festival your university is throwing as a celebration of the end of the semester. Supposedly, he knows the guy that’s playing in the band that’s headlining it, and even though you tried to refute his arguments and invitations with the fact that you have nothing to be celebrating just yet– the final season is surely going to kick your butt and the presentation for your internship is in just two days, which means you should be preparing for it really hard right in this moment, but his pleading voice in your speaker as you talked to him on the phone on your way home from class was strong enough to convince you that maybe you do need some time to wind off before the responsibilities sweep you off your feet again.
Once you find the boy himself walking away from one of the tables in the corner, his eyes find yours– as if knowing you’ve been looking for him, sensing your presence. His face is outstretched into a smile as he practically skips towards you and Izzy, but the grin leaves his features swiftly once he notices the ugly stain on your shirt.
“Damn, what happened?” he asks.
“Sunwoo spilled a drink over me,” you shrug, watching as his coworker rolls his eyes in frustration at the new information. You laugh at his fakely mad expression, shaking your head at him. “It’s fine, he was in a rush.”
“Yeah, we’re kinda behind, so I don’t know if–”
“No, it’s fine!” you hear a female voice call out, making you snap your head towards the direction of the counter behind you, noticing the presence of Lisa, Eric’s older sister. Her face is adorned with a wide grin that gets a teasing hint when her brother sends her a questioning look, making you watch the interaction with interest. “You said you’re leaving at 7, so you’re leaving at 7. I told dad my friends are coming up to help today, so you just go and enjoy your time out!”
“Really?” Eric asks, tone full of disbelief. You think he spends more time at the restaurant than he does in his own bedroom, and suddenly, you’re happy his sister is being so kind towards the poor boy.
“Yeah! You have more important business to take care of anyway, so…” Lisa says, wiggling her eyebrows at Eric. The boy sends her a look full of fear– which might be justified, since you don’t really know what’s going on at the moment– before he clears his throat and turns his attention back towards you.
“Anyways…” he starts, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “You can change into my shirt, if you want…? I have a spare one in the back in a case of emergency, and this surely looks like one, so–”
“Oh, it’s okay, you don’t have to–”
“I mean, the stain is pretty noticeable, so I was just–” he says. 
“It’s fine, Eric, I’ll just wash it in the sink, or something.”
“Or you can take my shirt that does not have a stain on it. I swear it doesn’t smell, I only wore it once! I’ll wear the one I forgot in my locker the other day,” he says, looking at you with wide, expecting eyes. Your heart does a flip in your ribcage.
You have to mentally restrain yourself from freaking out over this. He’s just being nice. He’s offering you his shirt because he probably knows that you want to look good– he is offering you his shirt because he knows the stain on yours is bothering you and that it wouldn’t come out as easily in the sink if you don’t wash the shirt properly with laundry detergent that you don’t have on hand right now– and when you weight all the positives and negatives of the offer (which you find far less pros than cons in, just for the record), you realize you don’t really have a reason to decline his offer.
“I mean, if you’re sure…”
The boy only nods, gently takeing you by your forearm as he leads you towards the back. You’ve never been there before and you also don’t really know where Izzy disappeared to, but you stop worrying about those the same moment Eric opens his locker and hands you his black shirt, a tight-lipped smile adorning his features.
“I’ll give you some privacy.”
“Thanks,” you nod. You wait for the door to close before you quickly drag your sticky T-shirt over your head and discard it off your chest, glad you’re ridded of the nasty feeling of it against your skin, fastly putting on the soft material that Eric draped onto your hold before on your upper body. 
The smell of his cologne instantly hits you in the face stronger than a baseball ever could, making your head spin and your stomach feel like it’s floating in the middle of the sea. Taking a quick look at yourself in the mirror on the wall next to you, you admire the way the garment fits you just well– since the height difference between you and Eric is barely existent. It makes you wonder if you could share wardrobes– the mental image of him in your favorite oversized graphic T-shirts making a foolish smile creep onto your cheeks, one that you forcefully wipe off the second you see it in the mirror. You smooth down the fabric before you tuck one side into the waistband of your jeans, satisfied with your new outfit. 
Giddy, you walk out of the storage room. It takes you a few moments to find your group of friends standing next to the counter, chatting. You notice that Sunwoo has already changed out of his work uniform into his regular clothes– a black band tee and camo cargo pants– one arm around Izzy’s shoulders.
“Ready?” your roommate asks, watching you nod.
“I’ll just go change and then we can go,” Eric says, swiftly turning on his heel and disappearing into the room you just came out of.
Izzy and Sunwoo talk amongst each other before they turn to you, finally deciding to include you in their conversation. “Excited for tonight? Eric said you need to destress,” Sunwoo raises his eyebrows at you, making you shrug.
“I guess,” you hum, “I think I practiced my presentation so many times I could recite it in my sleep now, but it also strangely feels like I don’t know it enough, y’know?” you say, shaking your head. “It’s driving me crazy.”
“I just think you need to take your mind off things, babe,” Izzy chirps, sending you a comforting smile. “You worked hard enough.”
“Well, we will find out soon if it really was enough,” you snicker, making your roommate glare at you with disapproval. Before she has a chance to ridicule you for your self-deprecating thoughts, you choose to change the topic instead, picking one that’s interesting her enough to forget all about your worries. “I heard from Izzy you wanna go bowling?” 
“Yeah!” Sunwoo perks up, excitement swirling in his dark orbs. “I haven’t been in a while, actually. I was thinking us four could go after exams are done? As a celebration?” 
You four. You find the fact that this is your new usual strange, but also welcome. How you fit into the group, your presence always counted on. Somewhere along the way, you fell into the causality of the friend group– and you can’t say you hate it as much as you thought you would. 
“Yeah, I’m down,” you shrug. “I’ve never played, though.”
“Dude, you and Eric go so well together, then. He’s actually shit at it, so I would even go as far as saying you will be better than him after two tries,” Sunwoo laughs. 
You and Eric go so well together– your brain repeats like a mantra. You know he didn’t mean it in that way. You can’t help but wonder– if you’d ask, would he further support his point?
“Speaking of Eric, what’s taking him so long? We’re gonna be late for the concert, at this point,” Izzy hums, checking the time on her phone.
“Should I go tell him to hurry?” you ask, receiving a pair of nods ushering you to go get him.
Taking a few steps towards the staff-only room, not thinking much before you pull the doorknob, you peep inside– regretting it immediately.
You’re met with the image of Eric turning towards the door to see who it is, shirtless. Your eyes can’t help but wander over the angles of his defined arms and stomach, making heat rush into your cheeks faster than you’ve ever felt it before, a broken noise escaping your throat as you pathetically try to both apologize and pretend you didn’t just have a visceral emotion to the sight of his bare body right there, a few meters away from you.
“Shit, sorry, I just–” you say as you turn on your heel, your body moving by itself and on its own accord as your brain flashes a few red exclamation marks right in front of your eyes, “they just– we should hurry, they said,” you mutter out, blanking.
“Coming!” Eric hums, the shuffling of clothes behind you making you believe he is now fully dressed. You won’t test your theory and look over your shoulder, though– you fear the dreams you’d have tonight if you saw him shirtless even for a second longer. You don’t take the initiative to leave the room either, though– feet glued to your spot right behind the door.
You hear the locker slammed shut, the sound of footsteps approaching making you all alert. God, you feel awkward. You feel embarrassingly awkward.
You find comfort in picking at the fabric of his shirt on your body, playing with it in between your fingers. After a moment, you feel his palm come in contact with your shoulder, his arm reaching around your figure as he leads you out of the storage room once again, completely ignoring your flustered state. You’re not sure if he’s uncomfortable or if he truly didn’t mind– but the moment he utters out his next comment, your knees almost buckle, making you breathless at the sight of his cheeks dusted a light pink.
Tugging at the sleeve of his own shirt adorning your body, he admits: “This looks really good on you, by the way.”
Tumblr media
When you arrive at the festival, the band isn’t playing yet. You and your friends decide to hang out in the back of the crowd, not really wanting the music to blast straight into your ears from the speakers on the podium, and before you even have a chance to ask Eric who is the friend that’s singing in the band you’re here to see, the male disappears to find the toilets.
Chuckling at the fact that he couldn’t take care of the business before you left the pizzeria, but also suddenly too bored without him (since Izzy and Sunwoo don’t count as proper company when all they pay attention to at this point of their relationship is each other), you decide to get in the line for drinks, announcing your departure to the love birds before you go. You figure you should probably get a drink for Eric too, since he always makes it his quest to pay for yours before you even get a chance to take out your wallet, and you suddenly see his departure as the perfect opportunity to do just that– he won’t have a way to stop you this time. 
Standing promptly at the end of the line, you people-watch and listen to conversations of the fellow students hanging around the field. The drink stands are the most occupied out of the whole festival, the crowd of people waiting for a beverage accumulating half the population waiting for the concert, making you almost regret going here alone, since it’s pretty boring to just stand around, doing nothing.
“Damn,” someone hums from behind you, making you turn around to face the stranger, “I’m doomed.”
Instinctively, you raise your brows in question at the male, only prompting him to speak more once you make eye contact. 
“I’m playing on stage in a bit, but I wanted to get a beer before we start,” the guy states, chuckling. “At this rate, I’m gonna be late for my own set!” 
The fact that one of the band members that are supposed to perform in just a few minutes is currently standing behind you in line for drinks is a little amusing, to be honest. You’d say it’s kind of irresponsible to get to your own gig late, but you guess the boy is living the lifestyle of a punk star already, despite bagging only a mere university concert.
“You should try skipping the line and saying you’re VIP, then,” you joke. 
“And get killed? No, thank you,” the boy laughs, shaking his head. “I’ll just see if I can make it in 15 minutes. If I don’t, I’ll just make a run for it.”
Laughing, you nod in acknowledgement at his comment. You don’t really expect the conversation to go any further after that, but the stranger surprises you as he offers you his hand to shake, a lazy smile appearing on his face as he introduces himself.
“I’m Yeonjun, by the way,” he says.
“Oh, nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” you smile, shaking his outstretched palm.
“How come I’ve never seen you around before?” he hums, making a step towards you as the line moves, making you walk back a step to close the gap in the crowd. Still, he follows you a step further and invades your personal bubble, standing too close for someone you’ve just met.
“Maybe you have,” you shrug, “and you just don’t remember it.”
“I’d remember a pretty face like yours,” Yeonjun comments, making you bite back a laugh. 
Is he flirting? Wow. You scan the male up and down, his self-assured stance making you believe that he is very confident in his persona. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s very attractive– plump lips, tall, shoulders broad– or maybe it’s the social status that comes with being in a band. Nonetheless, you can see the act working on many women. 
Not you, though.
“Well, I study business, so maybe that’s why.”
The male nods, shrugging. “Maybe I’ll have to hang around the business building more often, then.”
“Maybe,” you nod, chuckling. “There's a bunch of weirdos majoring in Accounting out there, though, so I’d watch my back, if I was you.”
“Well, if it means I get to see your face, I can put that past me,” Yeonjun smirks, making you mentally roll your eyes at the cheesiness of his words.
You don’t really get affected by obvious pick-up lines like these. Not that you hear them often– quite the opposite, really– but you much prefer more natural dynamics. One where conversations feel easy and casual, not forced and with deeper intentions. You can’t deny Yeonjun’s attractiveness, no, but you also can’t really say it’s doing much for you.
Not really knowing what to reply, you awkwardly shrug. “And what do you major in, then?”
“Communications,” the male replies. Something in you clicks– is this the friend Eric was mentioning? You should ask him about Yeonjun after he comes back.
Before you even have a chance to open your mouth and say the words, the male cuts you off after taking a quick glance at his phone. “Look, Y/N, I’d love to get to know you more, but I really have to run now. But if you give me your number, we can get a drink together after my gig is done?”
“Oh–”
“That won’t be needed,” you hear a low voice coming from behind you, making your eyes snap towards the source. Your eyes go wide as you recognise the owner of the voice instantly, your heart hammering in your chest at the close proximity he puts between the two of you. “She’s with me, actually.”
“Eric, dude!” Yeonjun beams– confirming your suspicions. “Sorry dude, I didn’t know that was your girl.”
Your girl. The two words echo in your ears, making your world tilt slightly on its axis. It’s not even true– you’re not together and you’re not Eric’s in any way, shape or form– but something about being called that by other people while wearing his clothes makes you feel like you just shifted realities into one where you’re with him and not so scared of his rejection. One where you’re dating and you get to be called that all the time– one where the words are true. 
You’re being foolish again.
You look at Eric in shock, noticing him already staring down at you with a panicked expression on his face. You don’t really know what’s going on in his head behind the shaking orbs of his, a tight-lipped smile offered to his mate as the tips of his ears burn red, a hesitant tone of voice making it known that the possessive words caught him off guard just as much as they did to you. “Well, not exactly…”
The male trails off. Your stomach does that weird thing again. You’d say there’s a soaring hint of hope in your chest, swimming around your intestines, that you want to simultaneously help and also drown in fear of holding on to something that is not even there in the first place, as you look back at Yeonjun. He is now staring the two of you down– shifting his gaze from one of you to the other, a knowing grin appearing on his lips as he processes the situation. 
“O-oh… Okay, I see what you mean,” he nods, laughing. “Well, see you two later! I’mma head to the stage,” he pats Eric’s shoulder and waves at you before fully disappearing from the never-ending drink line.
A suffocating silence engulfs the two of you after his departure, making you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek. The thoughts running through your brain almost suffocate you before Eric brings air into your lungs again, making your inner monologue stop as he casually speaks up again, showing you that nothing has changed in your dynamic after this interaction and there is no reason for you to feel awkward with him right now. 
You just need to silence your thoughts and feelings more efficiently. These slip-ups can’t keep happening.
“What will you have to drink?” he asks.
“I’m not telling you, because then you’ll get it for me and I decided I’m paying today,” you say, batting your eyelashes innocently at the male.
“I can just pay anyway, you know?” he laughs, making you shake your head.
“You don’t have to do that,” you hum. “Actually, I don’t want you to. You keep getting things for me, so I think this is the time to repay the favor.”
“Damn it,” he sighs. “That was me paying the Y/N subscription, though. How will I manage to make you keep hanging out with me now?” he jokes, shaking his head.
“Stupid,” you giggle, teasingly pushing him out of your way. “What will you get? And don’t say nothing, it’s my time to pay the Eric subscription fee.”
“I actually get paid in hugs and cuddles, so this doesn’t work on me,” the male shrugs, avoiding eye contact with you. 
“Damn,” you hiss through your teeth, acting distraught. “That payment is long overdue, then. Wonder if they’ll come and take my house, or something.”
“I heard they won’t if you pay back what you owe,” he states casually.
How can he say such things with a straight face? Does he not realize just how much his sweet words affect you? Does he not know you feel like he has a magnet inside of him at all times that is begging to pull you in and glue you to his side, always and forever? Is he unaware of the effect his arms have on you whenever he puts them around your shoulders in public, or to the way your hands sweat whenever his fingers mindlessly drag themselves along the length of shoulder while doing so?
Or does he know and only wants to drive you crazier, more insane? Does he enjoy your misery?
“Hope it’s not a lot, then,” you joke, watching as the boy finally looks at you, eyes soft and glimmering, shoulders shrugging.
“I’ll hand the accounting over to you,” he says. “I trust that you’ll figure it out.”
Punching him in the shoulder lightly, you shake your head at his antics. “Peach iced tea, then?” 
“How did you know?”
“You always get that one when you’re driving,” you say, walking up to the counter.
He lets you pay for the drink this time, eyes glued to your figure. You’re unaware of the way he watches you in the crowd, just as much as he is of the fact that he doesn’t have to fear an older, taller band guy stealing your attention away from him. 
You come back to your friends with the drinks in hand just in time for the show to start. You watch the stage and grin at the sight of the frontman you just met having the time of his life during his gig, while the boy next to you watches your face every time a love song appears on the setlist.  Neither of you are bold enough to dance together to the slow beats the way Izzy and Sunwoo are, lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes. You share knowing looks instead– growing shy when you hum the lyrics off the well-known songs Yeonjun’s band covers and the words get too intimate. 
In the tune of love by wave to earth, though, when your heart skips a beat as Eric’s hand accidentally brushes against yours, you decide they wrote the song about him– not that you’ll ever admit that out loud.
Tumblr media
The doorbell rings. Alone in the apartment, but knowing exactly who you’re expecting to see on the other side of the door– well, at least who you’re hoping to see– you shuffle towards the hall in your socked feet, taking your sweet time, your pace slow. There is not much energy stored in your body after today, and even though you wish to just bury yourself under the covers of your bed and sleep until you regain everything that your internship took away from you– until you don’t feel so bad about yourself and so defeated with your efforts– your small, fragile heart yearns for the presence of one person in particular, making you sheepishly order pizza through their website, because you know he has work today and there is no other way for you to see him.
Reaching for the handle, you open the door and reveal your busted appearance to Eric Sohn standing at your doorstep with a box of pizza in his hands, a light pink hoodie covering his figure, eyes big as the moon staring at you all expecting.
“So? How did it go?” he asks, genuinely hopeful. The boy has been suspicious of your mood ever since you got the final presentation on your internship over with and you didn’t instantly text him, telling him how it went– and the look he finds on your face only further proves his suspicions.
Your face morphs into a deep frown, trying to bite back your tears. His cheerful demeanor drops the moment he sees you struggling, not wasting a second as he shifts towards you and makes you back up into your apartment, putting the pizza box onto the coffee table in your hall before throwing his arms around your body, leading your grabby hands to hold on to the fabric of his sweater.
“It was terrible,” you sniffle, feeling the palm of his hand cradle your head into the crook of his shoulder, petting your slightly matted hair. A few tears escape your eyes and roll down your cheeks, making your whole body shake and tremble in his hold. 
You don’t usually show how affected you are by disappointment. You feel a bit humiliated, a bit embarrassing for both flunking your presentation and also for showing your weakness in front of Eric, but his gentle nature and the comfort you feel in his sheer presence is enough for you to forget about the hurt. You try to focus on the warmth of his skin instead, on the way his arm soothingly runs down your back, making you ground yourself. There is not much you can tell him in your current position, words getting caught in your throat, but it’s still enough for him to understand.
“I worked so hard on it,” you mumble, “I tried so- I tried so hard, and then they said it w-was bad and–”
“Shh, it’s okay,” he hums, holding you closer to him. 
You’re not used to not being instantly good at everything. It’s something you have yet to come to terms with after getting into university. You’re no longer the top of your class and you aren’t the best at all assignments and final exams you take anymore– and it’s a big kick to your ego. It makes you feel useless. It makes you feel stupid.
And that’s world-shattering. The image you once had of yourself is now taken forcefully away from your hands, replaced by disappointment and shame from the fact that you’re only mediocre and everything you thought about yourself up to this point was just a mere lie.
“Y/N, you tried your best. And I know you feel bad now, but I’m still proud of you for working so hard– it’s not your fault your efforts weren’t appreciated,” he says close to your ear, trying his hardest to be the calm after the storm for you.
After a few moments spent breathing in his scent, anchoring yourself to his presence, you force yourself to pull away from his chest. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, averting his gaze– because still, this is all so new to you and you don’t really know how to let yourself feel less foolish for your sudden outburst– you shrug and clear your throat.
“Uhm… thank you,” you mumble, “sorry for…”
“No,” he shakes his head, suddenly moving to take off his shoes. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“You’re… Eric, you have work, you can’t just stay. I don’t want you to get in trouble–”
“They can’t fire me,” he chuckles, trying to make light of the situation. After you watch him with worried, guilty eyes– because even though the logical part of your brain is telling you to throw him out of your apartment and just go eat the pizza you ordered as you bite back your own tears, the emotional side of you really wants him here, it really wants him close. He moves towards you again and ruffles your hair, gentle eyes watching you, preventing you from protesting any further. “It’s okay, Y/N. You need me here more than they do tonight, trust me.”
“I feel bad now,” you mumble.
“I know,” he playfully notes, “that’s why I’m here. Besides, you’re more important than work anyway.”
“That’s a pretty fucked up list of priorities,” you laugh airly, trying to mask the way his words have your heart squeezing on itself, nervous gold swirling in your stomach.
“It works for me,” he shrugs.
The moment you move back towards your room, the realization of the fact that Eric’s never seen it before sinks in fully, suddenly making you nervous about the act. Everything feels strangely natural as he enters the space, though, feet shuffling towards your bed as he takes a seat on the comfy mattress. However, your eyes still nervously scan your room, chewing on your bottom lip as you wonder if the perception of you has changed after seeing the state of you, the state you live in. “I’m sorry, it’s kinda messy–”
“Y/N.”
Looking at him, noticing the encouraging, gentle gaze he offers you, everything around you shifts in its axis– the world stops, giving you a chance to breathe, a chance to exhale, and the weight slowly disappears off your shoulders. 
“Relax,” he laughs softly as he reaches for your hand, tugging you towards him. Taking your place in between his legs, towering over the sweet creature in your bed, you feel like you can finally breathe more easily now that he’s here.
It’s okay, you realize. Magically, today no longer feels like the end of the world. 
His thumb gently swipes across the back of your palm, making your insides turn into a putty, a soft smile slowly mirroring his appearing on your previously frowning face. 
“I’d like to, uh..” you clear your throat, shying away from his gaze, “pay back the missed subscription fees then, if I can.”
Your bold statement has the room fall into an overbearing silence. For a moment, you forget it’s Eric who you’re with– the man that never judges you, the only one that makes you feel safe– as you go into a momentary panic. When you dare to look at him again, though, you notice him eagerly searching for your gaze, a boyish smile playing with his lips showing you that he doesn’t mind you asking– quite the opposite, really. He enjoys the preposition.
The male leans back in your bed and watches you as you climb next to him. For a moment, you don’t really know what to do, being too shy to hold onto him the way you truly want to, but the male wastes no time as he shuffles a bit in your sheets and moves to his side. One of his arms sneaks around your middle, pulling you to him, as his leg carelessly swings over your feet, trapping you in. His whole body weight rests against your figure, but it does nothing to suffocate you or take air out of your lungs– quite the opposite, really. 
You feel content in his hold. Your hand instinctively holds onto his forearm, keeping him close. If you could, you’d crawl into his skin, make a home in his chest and stay there, protected from all bad. What you don’t realize is that there’s a little fort in his heart reserved as a house for you already– one he guards and lets no one into– the unspoken, tender words now hanging everywhere around the corners of your room.
“The pizza will get cold, though,” he mumbles, tone of voice low from the close proximity of him next to you, the desire to protect the intimacy showing through the hushed out words.
“I’m not hungry,” you say lazily– exposing him to the fact that it’s not the food you needed tonight when you were ordering. “I kinda feel sleepy, though” you admit, letting your eyes rest a bit. You’ve been restless ever since you came home from work today– you didn’t know all you needed to finally turn off your endless stream of thoughts was Eric’s presence.
“Sleep, then,” he hums. “I’ll heat it up for you when you wake up.”
You let out a disapproving sound.
“You need sleep. And also food,” he scolds you, his other hand somehow sneaking itself under your figure and into your hair again, playing with the strands and scratching at your scalp. “You’ve been stressing out for so long, no wonder you’re so worn out right now.”
You feel like you’ve been laid bare, exposed right in front of his eyes. You feel naked and fully vulnerable, but you make no effort to shield yourself from his gaze, for it’s not prying and unwanted, but gentle and caring– so much to the point you feel like it’s going to consume you. Your head spins and your heart aches with deep yearning– it’s strange. 
You already know what that feeling is: 
You’re falling, falling, and falling.
All there’s left is to hope he won’t drop you. All there is left is to hope he’ll catch you on your way down.
Your body shifts so it’s facing him, your breathing mixed. Your faces are inches away from each other, making you afraid to open your eyes and study him from up close– for you think he knows how to read you too well by now, and your lingering gaze would tell him too much. Eyes don’t lie, after all– they never do.
“You did well,” he hums. 
The shattered pieces of your tender heart spill themselves into his outstretched palms. You watch as he mends them together, sewing them with an invisible, red string. The boy silently leans into your face and his lips press a gentle kiss to your cheek, only further strengthening your decision to stay blind in the moment, not wanting to reveal just how much you’re affected by the tender action. 
It’s been a long drop– a slow one, one you could get used to. Still, you’re falling, falling and falling,
And even though you’re unaware, he’s there all this time, waiting at the bottom, his arms open wide. 
Tumblr media
The idea of celebrating the end of the exam season with Izzy, Eric and Sunwoo by going bowling is quickly and forcefully taken out of your hands when you arrive at Sohn's Pizza to pick the boys up, all dressed up and ready. The place is full of people, there is screaming coming out of the kitchen, and while usually, Eric or Sunwoo would be greeting you by coming out of the back and welcoming you in, there is no one in your sight– which makes you just the tiniest bit suspicious.
Sharing a concerned look with your roommate, the two of you curiously walk through the place and peek behind the counter, being met with emptiness as more screaming resonates through the kitchen. You don’t mean to intrude or listen in on a conversation you’re not exactly invited to, you really don’t– but you just can’t help it as the sound of Eric’s angry, frustrated voice cuts through the space, catching not only your attention, but also everyone else’s in the restaurant.
“I don’t care that dad is too scared to hire someone into our sacred family business!” he huffs. “I don’t give a single flying fuck, because now, our plans are ruined again, all because they decided to go on a surprise holiday and they left us three to deal with the whole place!” Eric ironically sings the words ‘surprise holiday’ as he expresses his frustration, showing how much the whole situation bothers him.
“Eric, calm down, people can hear you–” you hear Lisa muttering, making you chuckle at the interaction between the siblings.
“So if dad wants to go on a holiday ever again, he either hires someone so we don’t have to be here 24/7, or I quit!” he finishes his little rant. 
There is a moment of silence behind the thin walls, making you and Izzy stare at each other with a blank look– a look empty, but full of understanding that there is no bowling happening today and there is nothing you can really do about it– before the sound of dishes hitting the floor hits your ears, making you wince. The fall is followed by a pained voice full of misery.
“FUCK!”
Izzy chuckles, opening the door to the kitchen without much hesitance, inviting the two of you into the chaotic situation. Taking a step towards the room behind the staff only sign which you ignore because Izzy thinks she’s basically a part of the family now, you look around a bit anxiously, being met with the sight of Eric picking up bowls and pans from the floor and throwing them back into the sink to wash, Sunwoo adding topics to a pizza with furrowed brows and his bottom lip jolted out (clearly sulking), and Lisa checking up on the food in the oven.
All three pairs of eyes are glued to you the moment the sound of the door opening fills the space, two sets lighting up and the third one looking at you with pure curiosity. 
“Need any help around here?” Izzy chuckles, looking around. The place is messy– covered with sauce in some places, flour all over Sunwoo’s apron, soap and water dripping down the cleaning station. It’s clear as hell the three of them aren’t handling the after-exam Friday rush well by themselves, and although you mourn the idea of relaxing in a bowling alley with your friends after the hard weeks of finals, you can’t say you’re too disappointed.
You can’t play bowling, after all, and you still get to see your friends– so it’s no big deal.
“No, you don’t have to–” Eric starts, ever-so considerate.
“It’s okay, we just–” Sunwoo follows, the two boys not wanting to share the responsibility that’s not yours.
After hearing each other interrupting their dismissive words, the two look at each other and chuckle. “I’m afraid we can’t hang out today, though. As you can see, our parents left the place to us and went on a holiday–”
“We heard,” you cut the owner’s son off, a teasing grin on your face shutting the boy up instantly, to which he offers you a shy look as he drowns his hands in the sink again, trying to tackle the dishes. 
Walking over to the poor boy reminding you a little of a wet dog now, since his bangs are damp as well, making you believe he’s been running his hands through in frustration mid-washing up– you take a kitchen towel off one of the shelves and decide to dry off the plates he’s done scrubbing, putting them away neatly on one of the trays situated next to the sink and getting them ready for the next customers. You don’t really ask what to help with, since you’re sure Eric and Sunwoo wouldn’t tell you either– feeling bad for making you work with them instead of taking you out like they promised they would– you only tackle what seems to be the most important task in the moment, helping out the best you can.
“Izzy, I’m really sorry for exploiting you,” Lisa starts out, making the whole room laugh out at her joke, “but for a free pizza or maybe even two, would you mind doing the waitressing for a bit? I fear people out there are mad as hell, but maybe if you tell them we are short on staff today–”
“I’m on it!” your roommate nods and salutes to the older girl, disappearing back into the main area of the pizza place. Since she has some experience with waitressing and working in the food service, you doubt there is anything to worry about.
The kitchen quiets down, the only sounds heard being from the sink, an occasional sigh escaping Sunwoo’s throat– he really must have been looking forward to this day– the atmosphere growing less heavy and hectic with two more pairs of hands in the building. You know they don’t want to admit it, but the boys are secretly glad for the help– it makes working so much easier and less nerve-wrecking to the employed youngsters.
“I’m sorry,” falls out of between Eric’s lips after a while, low and sincere. You look at him from your place to the left of his figure, furrowing your brows at him in question.
“Huh?” you voice out, watching him shrug.
“Well, we were supposed to hang out today and now we can’t, so…” the boy trails off, making you chuckle and coo at him, touched with his sincerity.
“That’s not really your fault, so I don’t see why you’re apologizing,” you say, “besides, we are still hanging out now, no? I don’t mind the location change,” you smile, slightly bumping your hip into his, the kitchen towel now getting damper and damper with the amount of dishes you’ve dried off with it in such a small time frame.
The two of you continue on with the task, all while playfully bumping hips from time to time, trying to catch the other one off guard with the contact, grins shared between the two of you. You barely register Izzy coming in and out of the kitchen, telling the cook– Sunwoo– the new orders, Eric and you pulled into your own bubble, attention focused mostly on each other, then at the otherwise domestic act accompanying you in your interaction.
“Exams went well?” Eric asks. 
Nodding, you hum in agreement. “Some were harder than others, but I didn’t fail any, so that’s a win. You?”
“About the same,” he grins. “I mean, the grades aren’t great, but I passed all of them, so…”
You laugh at his comment, shaking your head at his attitude. You wish you could take school and all of its responsibilities with as much ease as your friend does– too bad you’re an anxious over-achiever and don’t really know how to relax ever.
“Academic weapon,” you joke.
“Oh, that’s your title,” he says as he finally scrubs off the last plate and turns the tap off, placing it into your hands to dry, “I don’t even try, because I don’t wanna take it away from you,” he jokes.
“So considerate,” you muse, rolling your eyes at him. The boy wipes his hands on the towel hanging off your arm, the two of you sharing a playful look– Eric’s eyes swirling with honey and gold inside, making you all warm and fuzzy. You find it hard to look away.
The noise of someone suddenly clearing their throat catches you off guard and pops the soap bubble you’ve been trapped in with your friend, making you look at the source, curious what his sister has to say. She is looking at the two of you with a teasing smirk on her face that instantly makes your cheeks burn– for you know you were caught staring too much, too long at her younger brother– before she points to the pizza boxes in front of her, towering so much they almost topple over and drown her in the baked dough and cheese.
“I need you two to do the deliveries,” she muses, “if you don’t mind, of course.”
Shaking your head, showing that you’re completely fine with the task, the two of you walk over towards the impressive pizza tower. Eric takes the bigger half into his hands while Lisa puts the car keys onto the box on top of your smaller stack, sending you a knowing look that you try to ignore. 
Walking out of the place, noting that one person could very well do the deliveries alone after loading up the car, but also realizing that even though you could be more needed inside, you kinda wanna spend more time with Eric, you wait for him to shut the car door and tell you the next instructions.
“I think the most efficient way to do this is one of us driving and the other one going up to the doors with the orders,” he muses, watching you nod in understanding. “I can drive, if you want?”
Chewing on the inside of your cheek, not really happy with the mental image of talking to so many people tonight, you huff. “I kinda wanna drive, though…?” you peep. 
The male stares at you for a few seconds– as if contemplating if you’re safe enough of a driver, or something– before he places the key into your hand and closes your palm, entrusting you with… pretty much his life, if you really think about it. In his defense, it only takes one wrong turn and both of you could be dead– but he seemingly believes in your abilities.
After you get into the driver’s seat and adjust it to your liking, making sure you can see in all of the mirrors, you pull out of the parking lot with ease, turning with Eric’s directions. You see him watching the map on his phone, making sure you know where to go in time to not turn this drive into an amateur redemption of The fast and the furious: Tokyo drift. You drive smoothly, getting to the destination in short time, stopping in front of the targeted house and watching as your friend gets out of the car with a few pizza boxes, jogging up to the front door.
The sight makes you remember how you met him a few months ago. It makes you chuckle, noticing how much has changed– you didn’t even want pizza that night, but today, you’re driving him in his car, watching as he makes the deliveries. 
“No strange notes asking for cute delivery boys?” you joke when he gets to the car and tells you to drive straight until he says to turn right, making him chuckle.
“No, not really,” he shakes his head, “but I think it’s funny how Sunwoo didn’t get to go, yet it still landed him a girlfriend.”
“I mean, they were both pretty desperate,” you admit, chuckling. Your foolish brain can’t help but wonder– what if it could land both of them a girlfriend? What if you were bold enough to confess your feelings one day? 
“True,” he nods, “they go well together.”
“It’s still miserable to watch them interact sometimes, though,” you joke.
“I’m sorry, I tried my hardest to prevent it,” he muses.
Furrowing your brows, you look at him in confusion only for a second before you focus back on the road. “Huh?”
“I physically fought Sunwoo so I could go deliver those pizzas to your house back then,” he grins. “Back then, it was because I genuinely believed I was the cuter one, but I think that somehow, I kind of felt it, y’know? Like, intuition. It was telling me ‘Eric, don’t let Sunwoo deliver those pizzas, because then your friend will get into a relationship and make every second with him miserable, because he can’t shut up about his new girlfriend–”
You cut him off by laughing, shaking your head at his antics. Eric points towards a street, hinting that you should turn, having you follow his orders. 
“I like your confidence,” you say, “but to be fair, seeing you show up at my door was kind of crazy, after all these years.”
“You make it sound as if you disagree with me,” he casually utters out. 
Your hands sweat on the steering wheel. Maybe you should swerve off the road and drive into a tree so you can avoid this conversation.
“Maybe I do,” you shrug, thankful that driving makes it easier for you to avert your gaze from him and not make it seem like you’re forcefully avoiding him.
“So we’re just gonna ignore the fact that you called me the hottest–”
“If you don’t shut up, I’m crashing the car–” you threaten, your voice coming out a bit more miserable-sounding than you intended it to, showing just how not casual the whole situation was for you.
“Look, you don’t have to be shy about it, we both know–”
“Okay, passenger princess,” you shut him off, watching as the boy next to you has a visceral reaction to your comment.
“I literally offered to drive!”
“Whatever you say,” you muse as you make the car stop at the next destination and let Eric out to complete another delivery.
After the boy jumps inside of the car again, he ignores the previous topic of the conversation. That fact makes you happy, since you don’t really know if you’re ready to face the problem at hand– the problem being the very obvious and strong, magnetizing feelings you have for the boy– so you only continue to drive, listening to the radio he puts on and his occasional humming that he slides in through the directions he gives you.
He continues to deliver all the pizzas they baked when he announces that you’re approaching the last destination. You can’t say you’re happy about the fact– since you started to quite enjoy the comfort of the drive, but you guess you can’t really prolong the moment any more and force it to last forever, no matter how much you’d like it to.
Eric walks out of the car with the last three boxes in his hands, knocking on the door. The commotion lasts longer than usual, making you suspicious of the interaction he has with the man at the door, before you see the boy shrugging and walking back to the car, one pizza box still in his hands. To say you’re confused would be an understatement.
“What happened? Did we mess up somehow?” you ask, motioning towards the pizza box in his hands.
“I don’t think it was us who messed up,” Eric snickers, “apparently, they only ordered two pizzas, so I think Sunwoo accidentally made three.”
“Oh,” you hum, nodding in acknowledgement.
“But that’s fine, because that means we can have this one for free,” the boy grins at you as he puts on his seatbelt. “Let’s move a few blocks so we don’t just stay in front of this dude’s house, though.”
You furrow your brows at him, but still start the engine nonetheless. “Shouldn’t we head back? I bet we should hurry, from how packed it was, they surely need our help–”
There is a lack of worry in Eric’s face as he shakes his head in disapproval. It seems that neither of you really want to go back to Sohn’s Pizza and work– because it’s not as fun as driving around together, singing along to the radio– but the lack of empathy towards his sister and his friends surprises you. “I’m sure they will survive a few more minutes. Come on, Y/N, the bowling didn’t work out, so let me make it up for you at least this way.”
His pleading voice does enough to persuade you as you drive down the street and then a few more blocks to the left, trying to find a calm place where you could park the car and won’t bother anyone as you eat the remaining pizza, while also trying to forget about Lisa, Izzy and Sunwoo alone in the pizzeria working their asses off. You feel a bit guilty with the idea in your brain, but you try to push it back with the image of spending more time alone with Eric– and suddenly, the previous is almost too easy to ignore.
Little did you know that this was Lisa’s plan all along. While you may be a bad wingman, Eric’s sister surely isn’t.
Stopping in front of one of the houses that seems to be empty, turning the engine off and undoing your seatbelt, you spin around to face Eric as he opens the pizza box and gasps at the sight of the cheesy dough. “I’m pretty sure this was fate, man,” he shakes his head in disbelief. “There’s no way we are left with your favorite. Extra cheesy too, damn...”
“This is unbelievable,” you agree, playfully clasping your hands together in prayer. “Thank you universe for the sign. You were right, we were supposed to stay out longer.”
“I’m always right,” he nods, watching as you eagerly take a triangle off the greasy cardboard and bite down into it, your taste buds cheering in joy as you chew on the treat.
Eric is quick to follow as he takes one for himself as well, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence as you eat. You didn’t even realize you were hungry before– your intentions being to eat at the bowling alley– and so you welcome this idea even more now that your stomach is less upset. Crossing your legs on the seat, not really caring about getting the car dirty– which in retrospect, you should’ve– you hum before you speak up again, already on your second piece.
“If you were a pizza, you’d be this exact pizza right here,” you hum. You don’t really know where that idea came from, but you think you’re speaking the truth– in your mind, it makes total sense.
Eric stares at you like a confused puppy, a slight grin appearing on his face showing you that he’s trying to see where that came from. “Why?” he asks. “Because you love me?”
Here it is again– the heat appearing on your cheeks from the panic, embarrassment filling your veins. You feel like you were caught in the act, like he sees right through you– with how he’s been acting the whole evening, you think he might have some sort of intuition. Still, you won’t admit to your feelings out loud– because there’s no way they’re reciprocated, and you won’t cause such a heartbreak to yourself willingly. 
Eric is just social like that. He is sweet, playful. There is no undertone to his actions– it’s just who he is as a person, and there is no way he likes you back.
“No,” you cough out, almost choking on the pizza. “You’d be a margherita, because it’s a safe choice. Everyone likes a margherita! It’s fun, and it’s–”
“Tasty?” he interrupts you, a shit-eating grin already plastered onto his lips. “I taste good too, wanna check?”
You think he might be teasing you just for the fun of it now. He loves to feed on your misery, because he sees right through you, he knows you’re absolutely, incredibly enchanted by him, and it strokes his ego to rile you up and make you flustered. You’re sure of it now. “Oh, shut it!”
Eric laughs out loud before he swallows another bite, shrugging. “If you were a pizza, you’d be hawaiian.”
“Hm? Why?” you ask, busying yourself with chewing on the cheesy dough in your hold. 
“Because you are both salty and sweet,” he starts, “and I didn’t expect to be so into it.”
His words make you stop in your tracks. He didn’t expect to be so into it. Does he mean he’s into you, or are you just reading too much into his words? Trying not to seem too affected by his words– trying to play it casual, nonchalant– you clear your throat and avert your gaze from him, continuing to chew. The pizza in your mouth loses all its flavor the longer you focus on it, turning into a mass of nothing to your taste buds. After the last bite, you’re left mortified with the realization that you have nothing to focus your attention to now, if you don’t want to face your friend again and take another slice in between your fingers from the pizza box resting in his lap, and so you just continue to stare ahead, beaten up by the awkward silence.
Play it cool, Y/N. Be normal. He must think you’re weird now, because you wondered even for a second if his joke was serious, and now he won’t want to hang out with you ever again–
“So, uhm, just checking,” Eric awkwardly laughs, something about his tone sounding nervous in your ears. “Are you really still that oblivious, or are you just pretending you didn’t catch that to not hurt my feelings because you don’t like me back…?” he asks.
Your heart does a somersault. Hell, you think you just went into cardiac arrest– your ears are ringing, your stomach is floating on water and your breathing quickens with his words. Having a full visceral reaction does nothing to help you speak back to him, but your body reacts on itself as you snap your head to the side and finally look at him, gazing into his big, honest eyes.
He looks at you in a similar way he did back at that party– expecting, hopeful. You didn’t catch it back then– the eager, desperate look in his orbs, wishing, praying you chose him in a room full of people, picked him in a row of anyone who would like to have you. It leaves you weak, it leaves you feeling like you were just punched in your face with the realization that you’ve been foolish to ever think that this was just how Eric acts and there was nothing more to his acts of care and affection.
“I-  uh… I just didn’t expect you to like me back…?” you say, making it sound like a question, still uncertain about the whole situation. “I thought you were just…” you trail off, pupils shaking as you watch the boy’s face morph out of nervousness into a bright, amused smile.
“Look, I’m– I just–” you stutter, not really knowing what else to say, how else to express yourself. 
Eric was always much quicker than you, much more clever in social situations. He takes your lack of words as a hint as he holds onto your honest, surprised state and takes it upon himself to solidify the reality for you, to show you what the two of you’ve been missing for the last couple of months. Reaching over the gearstick, he gently glazes your cheek with his palm before he sends a one last look to your eyes, watching out for any sign of discomfort. 
His lips lock with yours. You’re convinced the world stopped turning.
Eric Sohn is sweet like cherry cola. He is a taste of familiarness with something more to it, something new and fresh, sugary and addictive. He is gentle, with an exciting aftertaste, leaving you breathless and wanting more. He is like a hint of home, a memory of your childhood, all safe and loving and tender. 
The kiss is short. It has you leaning towards him, a handful of his hoodie filling up your fist as you desperately, foolishly drag him to you and press your lips to his again, as if to check if the last kiss was real and you didn’t just make it up in your mind by wishful thinking.
You guess you finally reached the bottom after the long, slow fall. You don’t even feel the landing as his arms hold you up and spin you around instead, showing you that falling in love doesn’t have to be all that scary– if the one you want is caring, if the one you want is nothing short of an angel in your eyes.
After you pull away from him, he rests his forehead against yours and enjoys the proximity which he doesn’t have to hide the need for anymore– now that he’s all yours to keep and you’re all his to hold.
“You really thought I didn’t like you back? Hell, Y/N, you’re all I ever think about,” he scoffs, showing you the ridiculousness of your own beliefs, his ever-so playful tone only further solidifying the sweet aftertaste of his confession. “I like, have butterflies in my stomach and all,” he confides, grinning at you. 
Rolling your eyes, finally easing into the new territory, you tease him for his words. “That was extra cheesy.”
“I thought you liked that?”
Gazing into his eyes, feeling your own heartbeat hammering against your chest, you can’t help but chuckle at the subtle irony of it all. 
“Maybe I do.”
337 notes · View notes
mllenugget · 11 months ago
Text
Hello I mcyt fandom-ified la Team du Lundi members and wrote a shit ton of text about it
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
After exhausting myself on trying to catch up on the current QSMP lore I got a sudden craving for a more familiar and fast paced kind of minecraft content and ended up rewatching all the Team du Lundi's SMP best of's I could find
And while doing so with my brain still hazed in fandom brainrot, I started picking up on minor details or info the players casually dropped, and drew parallels to the French speakers' QSMP counterparts This is going to be a long wordy post I don't even know what I am rambling about and for. Three things you need to be aware of about la Team du Lundi before reading :
Baghera, Antoine and Etoiles are the only QSMP players that are part of la Team du Lundi
As far as I remember the only two elements that suggest that la Team du Lundi's SMP could be canon to QSMP are Antoine being pressured into building another Tower of Shit, and Baghera's infamous fountain being mentioned when she was asked if her character remembers anything from her past before the island
La Team du Lundi's SMP was NOT a roleplaying server, it was just a private survival server for a small circle of friends casually playing together. So whenever I quote someone in this specific post, it is the streamer : there is no character other than the persona the streamer is usually showing on stream, but I just thought it would be fun to interpret certain situations while keeping in mind the QSMP lore. And here goes :
Baghera claims that when she was a kid she strongly believed that she could breathe underwater. The others joke about her having fins
Antoine jokingly tells Baghera he doesn’t need oxygen at all
Antoine claims he will still be alive thousands of years forwards
Antoine’s voice shifts when he wants to appear creepy
Baghera built an aquarium at her place, then helped Antoine build one at his tower, then built a giant swimming pool, then a fountain, then a waterslide- do you see a theme ?
Baghera knows that her skin is actually that of a chick and not a duckling, and calls it so here
Chat said that Baghera has a middle child syndrome, justifying that she bullies Angle Droit because Etoiles bullies her in the first place (Etoiles has also called her « little sister » in a derogatory way)
Etoiles has repeatedly asked people to play Valorant with him at least once
Here's a clip of Etoiles getting languaged in french and owing "a gifted sub in the swear jar"
Unrelated random clip of Etoiles because it creates happy hormones in me brain
Etoiles is regularly refered to as "the warrior"
Etoiles guided the whole group during an expedition to the End and he was literally glowing doing so (enchanted arrows effect) Everyone called him "the guide"
Baghera was the one who gave the final blow to the Enderdragon (and died from magic right after)
Etoiles spent most of his time adventuring in order to bring stuff and gear back to everyone for their builds
Etoiles asked Aypierre for help in order to design a redstone door for his cave which could only open upon solving a puzzle (which was egg & arrow related) (Aypierre was not a member of the server)
Etoiles built a nightclub with the walls and ceiling covered in wardenblocks making it look like a starry sky. He also rehomed Allays holding golden apples inside claiming them to be the souls working for him and that they lived there peacefuly
Etoiles jokingly talks about Antoine acting jealous and violent towards him because Etoiles told him he wanted to go and visit Kameto (who also was not a member of the server)
Baghera (along with Horty) had a rivalry with Joueur du Grenier (host of the server with admin powers) after he decided to build a massive parking lot right next to their house. They countered by covering the whole thing with dirt, followed by JDG building a factory and the two parties went back and forth. Baghera argued that it was stupid because they didnt even have cars to begin with (which is a sentence she reused when talking about Forever's roads) Also she tells JDG that he could've built a seaport instead, which makes JDG contemplate the thought of building an airport (and though he ended up never building it, I am side eyeing the French's plane crash)
At some point JDG wonders about what a roleplaying minecraft server would look like (RPZ 2), to which Baghera replies that she has a hard time picturing the thing "We'd all just build things you see ? I don't think we'd create stories, we would all just be like "I'm a builder, ah you too ? Well awesome, builders, cool"" and I find this to be hilariously ironic (fun fact : Baghera had no idea that QSMP was a roleplaying server when she first joined and often claims she would've taken a different approach with her character had she known right off the gate)
As I was finishing to write this down, these fuckers (/lh) decided to host a closure night for the server as they've never really officially did it, everyone just sort of deserted the server after a while. Baghera, Etoiles and Antoine kept referring to QSMP throughout the night, mostly talking about how weird it felt without mods. Among other meta commentary things
They mentionned Cellbit and Bad multiple times as the group was trying to solve enigmas. Antoine talked about "the cultural sharing" between communities as he taught insults to each others with Mike, Roier and Maximus in their respective languages Multiple more players were namedropped (including eggs) while Antoine was talking about how the server functions
Yes, Baghera and Etoiles kept their QSMP skins. Etoiles with his code corrupted purgatory one, and Baghera with her fading pink disheveled hair (with the addition of her cubito wearing Horty's merch)
Baghera admits that going back to this small familiar vanilla server feels like coming back home to your family during the holidays
Team du Lundi's cameos in QSMP :
Though Pomme has never canonically met JDG (even though most of her parents have talked about him to her at least once), she occasionaly breaks the 4th wall to refer to him. She once compared one of BBH's "vacation" flower shirts with his, and when Foolish and Bad asked her to elaborate (obviously not getting the reference) she proceeded to play JDG's music theme with the flute instead (Also I really feel the need to once more point out how mindblowing it is for your average french speaking viewer to have JDG's intro theme being added to the mod they use in the QSMP because of how anchored it is within french internet pop culture. Like this shit has been existing for 14 fucking years, it's part of the childhood of a lot of us, so to find a clip of British hardcore player Philza peacefuly listening to Mexican egg admin Tallulah play this theme on her flute feels like a multiverse fever dream)
Horty has been on Quesadilla Island through cc!Baghera's account, but neither of them really wanted to justify it RP wise. Baghera just wanted to give her best friend a tour of the island. Horty only got to meet Richarlyson who gave her a tour of Cellbit's castle and made her pick a room (she chose Chaos). She also chatted with Etoiles who tagged along for a bit and (this is obviously justified by it being a one-shot out of roleplay filler episode kind of night) they both already knew each other and were on friendly enough terms to bicker with one another Also she was part of the French speakers Quackity reached out to to invite on the server, but she had to decline because she was very busy at that time (and also not interested) Also also she was Baghera's teammate for that Formula 4 event, and Baghera has discussed it and showed pictures to a couple of islanders, including Richas who was very hyped about it
Another player the viewers were hoping to see on Quackity's server is Mynthos. He exists within the server with the picture of him that hangs in Pomme's art gallery, the cursed animation video that used to play in La France, as well as with Aypierre's health potion factory that bears his name
Angle Droit and Zerator are sometimes namedropped when the French speakers talk with their chat. Angle Droit frequently raids Baghera's and Antoine's streams, and though it has never been confirmed, a lot of viewers theorized that she was the +1 player Baghera and Etoiles wanted to invite on the server had they won the elections.
As for Zera, Etoiles went AFK on QSMP a couple of times in order to test some of Zerator's TrackMania maps (which he later discussed with Pac). I also remember a very trivial conversation Etoiles had with Mouse and Aypierre where he laughed about hurting his back very badly after carrying a fellow streamer during a caritative event, said event was hosted by Zerator (he's also the one judging them with concern from his desk)
I'm done.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Bonus alternative design for Angle Droit because at first I thought she was a fox then it turned out she was a corgi but then she changed it again to a fox and woop
Tumblr media
276 notes · View notes
the-swift-tricker · 2 years ago
Text
breaking down the members of the batfam:
bruce wayne (emotionally repressed autistic dad/tired but loving/"i'd die for you. ask me to die for you.")
alfred pennyworth (beloved grandfather and backbone of the house/"cool you were in the circus too alfie?" "a different type of circus master richard"/the most flexible on the whole no killing rule thing)
dick grayson (embarrassing "stay silly" older brother/eldest child/self-titled "bruce's little angel")
barbara gordon (adopted bruce more than he adopted her/this family would not survive without her it support/only one who knows how to work the router)
jason todd (the try hard wanna be cool accidentally cool but not in the way he meant brother)
tim drake (gifted child syndrome overachiever middle-child-and-mentally-ill-about-it bisexual nerd)
damian wayne (asshole baby man with a heart of absolute gold and a closet full of swords/tiny and feral/why does he have so many swords??)
stephanie brown (the goldilocks of the family/showed up one day and refused to leave/heartbreaker/know-nothing know-it-all, "get your feet of the furniture, stephanie")
cassandra cain (the darling daughter/autistic queen/"cuddled nicely" and "bit my ass" rolled into one/don't look directly at her too long or you'll fall in love)
duke thomas ("finally someone normal around here"/"oh no he's just as bad"/the day shift/probably does way too many light related puns)
selina kyle ("hot milfs in your area"/bruce's lover on the down low that literally everyone knows about/enamored by his autistic swagger/not married to bruce but would take the kids in the event of divorce)
kate kane (fucking rad lesbian wine aunt/kicker of ass, spoiler of nephews and nieces)
harper row ("alfred where did this punk child come from?"/"SHE'S GOTTA GUN"/best music taste out of any of them/once turned a lawn mower into a drag car/it was awesome)
lucius fox (other grandpa/ twead wearing dad/"bruce you need to pay your taxes"/"bruce getting shot point blank in the back is not advisable"/"bruce the hague tends to frown on child soldiers")
lucas fox (conceivably he should be smarter than getting mixed up in all this/still got mixed up in all this/"don't you think batwings a little too...on the nose?" "says the guy that calls himself batman")
helena bertinelli (cranky cousin that is beloved by a few and feared by all/"why doesn't her boyfriend have a face?"/"SHE'S GOTTA CROSSBOW!")
harley quinn (bisexual vodka aunt that's really just bruce's friend from college/has invited herself over for every hanukkah ever since finding out bruce is jewish too)
1K notes · View notes
spicyspiders · 6 months ago
Text
caught up in nowhere again
Tumblr media
Temporarily ending my hiatus to post a story I've had written for a while (last September). I've debated on posting this story since I was writing it, but because I don't know when I'm going to actually come off hiatus, I decided to just go ahead and post it. Today is my birthday, so think of it like a birthday gift from me to you :)
This work contains themes of predator/prey, extreme dubious consent, Stockholm syndrome, and power imbalance. This story is dark, so please heed the warning and keep yourself safe. The reader is a captive of the Slaughter family and Johnny takes a special interest in him. The reader thinks that they have manipulated Johnny enough to escape, but by the end of the story, the line is blurred on who was in control.
“Where’re you going? And here I thought we had something special, darling!” He yelled after you as you ran. 
The sunlight burns your eyes when it hits them, but the feeling of it on your skin is almost euphoric. After not feeling it for so long, it almost makes you want to stop and bask in the glow, but you press onwards.
You swipe a hand across your teary eyes and continue running. Your legs quickly begin to ache after some time of not using them, but you push through the burn. 
Your feet thump against the ground, the sound is almost as loud as Johnny’s pants from behind you. When the sound becomes lighter in your ears, you take a minute to stop behind the cover of a tree. 
You put a hand to your mouth to try and quiet your pants, and once they’re under control, you use the quiet opportunity to look back. Your hand falls from your face when you don’t see Johnny, your body getting ready to run. 
Turning back, you freeze up again when you come face to face with the person you’re trying to get away from. 
“Caught ya,” Johnny says. 
You push your hands out to try and get him away when he comes closer, but Johnny is quicker. He easily dodges your hands and then brings one of his up to your throat and slams you into the tree. 
“You really got me goin’ boy,” Johnny says, his warm breath fanning across your face when he comes closer. His hips meet yours and the rest of your body hits the tree, the rough bark digging into your back. 
The hard line of his cock digs into your hip, and Johnny leans forward to bury his face in the crook of your sweaty neck after he pulls his hand away. He pants against the warm skin as he brings his hips back and forth to rut against your body. 
You want to reach your hand up to your neck to assess any damage done by Johnny’s tight grip, but you keep still. The only movement is of your chest as it heaves up and down to pull air into your lungs, nervous that Johnny’s hand will rise again to cut off the supply. 
Johnny’s chest too heaves as his hips speed up, the action broken by the groans he occasionally lets out. His teeth latch onto your neck where his hand just was to toy with the skin with his lips and tongue. 
“Johnny please, let me go,” you whisper. 
You of course already know what his answer would be, but the cruel laugh that accompanies the answer has anger flowing through your body. 
“No. Not when I finally get you like this,” Johnny responds. He says it like you’re school kids on the playground, and he was pining after you. But Johnny doesn’t get to pine, he gets to take whatever he wants, like he took you all those months ago. 
His voice echoes in your mind as you bring your hands to his shoulders and push with all of your might. 
Johnny stumbles back with a grunt and you quickly push yourself off the tree to get past him. You don’t even get the chance to take a step as Johnny is just too quick. His ankle goes between yours to trip you up and you fall to the ground with a pained noise. 
 You let out a yell when Johnny’s body brackets yours on the ground, his chest against your back. His hard cock now digs into your ass as he begins to rut at the new spot. 
“You’re not gettin’ away from me,” he growls into your ear as he grinds down. His tongue traces the shell of your ear, and you again try to move away from him at the feeling of the wet sensation. 
One of Johnny’s hands goes between your legs to cup his hands on your crotch, and you hear the man let out a tsk at the feel of your soft cock. 
Call it Stockholm syndrome, but you’ve had thoughts now and again of Johnny. You could admit that he was an attractive man. Under different circumstances, like not being the captive of his crazed family, you could see yourself reciprocating his feelings, but after you had learned of his feelings for you, you chose to use them to your advantage. 
Or so you thought. You thought you could manipulate your way out, but you only ended up with the man on top of you. 
“That’s alright,” Johnny says, pulling his hand away, “we’ll give it more time,” he presses his grin into your neck.
More time. The two words make your lip wobble as tears well up in your eyes, “Johnny, please,” you beg in a shaky voice. Your tears fall when your forehead hits the ground. The thrust of Johnny’s hips threatens to send your body up, but the tight grip he wraps around your hips keeps you in place. 
“Shh, it’s okay,” Johnny murmurs sweetly in your ear, like he’s trying to comfort a scared animal. 
The thought almost makes a hysterical laughter well in your chest. Johnny wouldn’t be like that, in fact, he’d likely be the one chasing the scared animal off with laughter. 
He lifts up momentarily to get your body rolled over and settles between your legs. If he sees your tears, he ignores them and instead pushes a hand up your shirt. 
You shiver under his calloused fingers, and Johnny chuckles. Once your shirt is hiked up under your chin, your body exposed to the warm air, Johnny’s fingers are at his belt to open up his pants. 
Your eyes look to the sky when Johnny’s hard cock springs free. You flinch at the noise of Johnny spitting into his palm, and then the wet noise of his hand stroking his cock fills your ears. 
You close your eyes, just hoping for Johnny to finish quickly. Maybe you could use his tired, post-orgasmic state to try and run again. 
“Fuck,” Johnny says under his breath. His other hand goes back to your stomach to run his hand up your chest, “look at you,” he says in awe, “all laid out for me.”
One of his fingers goes to your nipple to run his finger over it. More tears leak from your eyes when his fingers pinch at the sensitive flesh. You clench your eyes shut as your body betrays you at the pleasure the sensation causes. 
“Like that?” Johnny questions. 
Your teeth sink into your lip to keep the noise that bubbles up when Johnny does it again. You breathe out harshly through your nose when Johnny moves to the other nipple. You feel a small amount of tension leave your body when Johnny pulls his hand away, only for the feeling to be back again at the sound of Johnny’s hand speeding up. 
A second after you hear the groan Johnny lets out, you feel the hot sensation of his cum hitting your skin. You have to ball your fists up at your sides to keep from wiping it away, but Johnny ends up doing the work for you once his noises of pleasure have subsided. 
Johnny’s fingers are on your stomach to wipe the mess into your skin, the salty tang of it in the air. 
You crack your eyes open when his fingers stop moving, your eyes still on the sky. Your breath catches in your throat when Johnny moves closer, his arms beside your shoulders. 
Johnny leans down to bring his mouth next to your ear, “you’re nearly as fucked up as I am,” he whispers into your ear. When Johnny uses one hand to palm your groin, he presses his wicked grin into the crook of your neck at what his hand finds. 
Your eyes widen when you realize you’re hard. You shake your head vigorously, “I am nothing like you!”
Johnny nips at your neck before pulling away, the smile still on his face, “you left them back there,” he nods in the direction of the house, “you could have gotten them out too.”
“You would have killed them,” you seethe. 
“See? You don’t even have faith in them,” Johnny responds, and runs his fingers along your clothed hard cock. 
The realization made more tears well up in your eyes. Here you were, after basically running straight into the arms of your captor, ripe and his for the taking. In truth, you didn’t even think about the others, your mind too focused on Johnny and trying to get out. 
He was all you were thinking about the entire time. 
The kiss Johnny presses to your lips is one you don’t expect. His lips are feverish against yours, moving enough for the both of you when you don’t respond. His tongue presses into your mouth when you gasp as he palms your cock again. 
Johnny moans into your mouth as his tongue meets yours. It’s a sound you never expected to hear, one that sends a hot flash down your body. 
Johnny pulls his tongue from your mouth and kisses a hot path down your body. You’re powerless to keep the noises at bay you tried to hide earlier when his mouth pays extra care to each of your nipples. You shiver as his saliva cools in the warm air once Johnny keeps going down. 
He’s quick to get your pants down and expose your hard cock. You glance down at Johnny and make eye contact with his dark eyes. Your eyes fall closed and your mouth falls open when Johnny takes the head of your cock into his hot mouth. 
Johnny sucks you down for as far as he can handle before he pulls back to swirl his tongue more skillfully than you expect around the head. You moan at the feeling of his hot tongue running over the sensitive skin. 
Johnny pulls off with a pop and pants wetly against the head of your cock, now shiny with spit. He runs his tongue along the vein at the bottom until he makes it to the base. He toys at your balls with the tip of his tongue before sucking one, and then the other when he pulls off, into his mouth. 
You’re shaking by the time he pulls away, a bead of precum dripping down your cock that Johnny eagerly licks up. When Johnny takes you back in, it doesn’t take long for your orgasm to hit. The days had all blurred together since you had been taken by Johnny and his family. It was long enough to realize that Johnny had feelings for you and try to take over the situation, at least. Also long enough that when your orgasm hit, your back was arching off the ground and bright stars were burning behind your eyelids. 
You moaned into the air as wave after wave overcame your body. Alongside the noise, Johnny let out a groan of his own at the taste of your spend on his tongue. He kept sucking, even after you had started coming down, trying to get as much of the taste out as he could. 
You whimpered under the tight suction, one of your hands burying itself in Johnny’s hair to try and push his head off. The man pulled back and licked at his lips before swiping a hand across his chin to wipe up what had leaked from his mouth.
You laid back on the ground slowly. Your body hadn’t felt this lax since before these fuckers had taken you, and by the look in Johnny’s eye when he crawled back up your body, he wasn’t going to let you go. 
You surrendered to his kiss and let your body remain lax. Johnny let out another moan when his tongue met yours, and you couldn’t hold back the shiver that ran through your body at the taste on Johnny’s tongue. 
“Ready to go home? We’ve got work to do,” Johnny says, pushing himself up to go back. 
Work to do. That must be Johnny’s form of pillow talk. You hated that you thought that. 
You followed Johnny back under the warm sun that still sat high in the sky. Your footsteps had felt heavy at first, but had gotten lighter as you took each step. You weren’t sure if you hated that.
You weren’t really sure of anything. 
This work contains themes of predator/prey, extreme dubious consent, Stockholm syndrome, and power imbalance. This story is dark, so please heed the warning and keep yourself safe. The reader is a captive of the Slaughter family and Johnny takes a special interest in him. The reader thinks that they have manipulated Johnny enough to escape, but by the end of the story, the line is blurred on who was in control. 
127 notes · View notes
ijbolz · 8 months ago
Text
( NSFW MDNI ) jiung x fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
3.4k words — it’s one of those nights again, where jiung badly felt like he needed some sort of release to help himself loosen up a bit during finals week at university. and what better way to de-stress than to jerk off, right? but when he’s surprised to see a message notification from his favorite camgirl, telling him about missing the private video call session he’d “apparently” purchased days ago, his horniness seems to fizzle down in confusion.
🗯️ mutual masturbation, cute and gentle jiung (but sometimes he can’t help his filthy mouth), a little bit of edging, reader gets called angel
(apologies for any typos, im currently half awake rn •́‿•̀)
Tumblr media
look, he might’ve been one of the top students at his high school like what… years ago? yet he’ll admit he couldn’t dodge the burnt out gifted kid syndrome that almost everyone in the same situation as him catches as some kind of canon event in their life.
university felt like a punch to the gut, especially when JIUNG currently finds himself in a dilemma between keeping his grades afloat while he simultaneously pursues his dream of becoming a music producer. he doesn’t even care anymore if he doesn’t get the same stellar marks as usual, as long as he doesn’t fail. that’s all that counts. i mean, that’s what the other seniors like him were saying, right?
he tries his best to tiptoe through his shared dorm room with INTAK, passed out on the couch, drunk—he assumes, from the common room reeking of booze and the shallow glint of emptied soju bottles by the floor.
jiung locks the door to his room with bated breath. he lets his shoulder bag slide off to a corner, making sure his tissue box is right on his nightstand. it’s always been there anyway… he thinks before settling on his bed, phone in hand.
there’s nothing more that he wants right now than to jerk off or... shoo his stress away, and what better chance to do it while he watches his bookmarked porn videos in his private twitter account.
yeah, no… he’s too paranoid messing with this kind of stuff in his main, always thinking of the worst possible scenarios of accidentally liking a video… until it just gets aired out in the open for the rest of his followers to see. he keeps his circle close. though it’s just a couple of high school and university friends following him… he doesn’t want anyone knowing about his business like that.
he sits on his bed with the subtle glow of his phone screen illuminating him, pathetically huffing to himself as he wonders about his stagnant relationship status while he’s on the verge of graduating. jiung can’t seem to pinpoint what’s holding him back from meeting other people. it’s not like he’s far too buried within the books or… is it because of his embarrassing soundcloud rapper reputation that spread as a rumor through parties. he swears if they just give him a listen then they’ll know he’s not what they think he is!
but that’s the least of his concerns right now as he falls into another reverie of frustration, especially with these soulless nights of having to make do with just his hand.
all of his twitter dms are just full of his university “bros” and trivial conversations with them, except he’s surprised when he sees an unread message at the top of the list from…
…his favorite camgirl?
by favorite he means… probably the only camgirl he watches after accidentally stumbling upon your live one random friday night. a part of him thinks he accidentally pressed on a suspicious link and now his hacked account is receiving dms from some virus.
but when he opens up the conversation, he’s surprised to see a full-length message from you. though he’s not used to getting personally addressed with the petnames he��s being called within the message, he just brushes it off.
“i just wanted to inform you about the private video call you’d purchased from me a week ago, you weren’t responding on the set date~” it were the only words that registered in his feeble tired brain at that second… until he’s scrambling to sit up on his bed, wide-eyed and completely confused.
jiung does spend some time watching you when you go on live, but he can’t even remember purchasing anything from you at all. he’d get so dizzy and horny at times but he knows he’s not that kinda guy to avail extra services or whatever bullshit men are up to these days.
so he’s quick to type up an apology, expecting you to inbox an insignificant guy like him and move on. except… you seem to be nice enough to not let go just because he’d “apparently” paid for it already. it’ll just be a waste if he leaves it be, or you could just refund him the money.
but wait… if it’s already been paid though, who’s card was it from since he’s so sure it wasn’t from his. from having been monitoring if he has enough for his food expenses at the dorms, he can’t let a single dime out of sight.
he can’t help but laugh under his breath when he sees your message pop up, telling him about a certain “hwang intak” showing up on the transaction details for the payment. jiung thought that it must’ve been when the other guys got ahold of his phone when he blacked out from too much alcohol one night.
explains the weird glances from his other friends he’d catch at the halls as well, yet never receiving any further explanations. coming at him and asking, “so how was it?”, snickering to themselves while he just stands there clueless, raising the question of “...how was what?”
since it wasn’t paid from his card anyway… might as well take the chance, right?
Tumblr media
it felt like a blur—blinking through his eyes as it finally sinks into him that he’s currently in a call with such a hottie like you. jiung can only swallow the lump in his throat that he hasn’t noticed from before. his face has fallen relaxed from seeing you through the screen, similarly basking under your dimly lit room. just enough that he could still make out the cute night gown you dressed yourself in. your figure’s flushed against the fabric, perfectly framing your silhouette.
"enjoy yourself, alright?" you began, his breathing picking up, feeling like it's all going too fast for his liking. and though you attempt a small conversation with him, your voice fades into the background, his gaze flickering to your touchy hands.
it's not long until you start caressing yourself through your night gown, figuring that maybe jiung still needs a little push because of his silence. “you can tell me anything you want me to do jiung, darling.”
he honestly felt like a breath of fresh air compared to your viewers that like to frequent having calls with you, fluttering your lashes as you await his words. “i’d like i-if, you lay down. please,” he’s so unbelievably sweet and gentle with his request, though his fierce stare said otherwise. like a flame lit within him.
and he desperately wishes you couldn’t see how nervous he is from his pathetic stutters. forgive him for not being as composed as he thought he’ll be, treading through unfamiliar waters. it’s not so often he’s got the chance to talk with such a babe like you—even calling each other just to do unspeakable things, he’s bound to go insane if he doesn’t inhale in a second.
he badly wishes he could just ravish you.
“have you still got anything underneath?” jiung manages to mutter, watching as you playfully pretend to think, a finger close to your chin.
“mhm-hm, i’ve got a surprise for you~”
he almost moans at your words, his eyes locked on his screen as he watches you fondle your breasts through your night gown. his sweatpants started feeling a little too tight for his liking, deeply aroused at the sight of your nipples perking up against the fabric, soft whines escaping your lips. and you only giggle at him, noticing the way jiung begins to fidget, palming his bulge out of frame. yet you don’t utter a word as well.
but the fabric’s feeling far too prickly on your skin as you kept on teasing your sensitive nipples through your clothes, hips bucking up against nothing...and so you beg, “can’t take it anymore, jiung… wanna take it all off,” he blushes at the way you’d call out his name.
the softness within his tone doesn’t falter as he tells you to go ahead and take your night gown off. you do, jiung watching the way your breasts get caught in the silk fabric bunching as you pull it up. biting his lip when he sees your sensitive parts covered in cute lace lingerie. swiftly dreaming of ripping them off or… gently tugging on it until you’re fully bare, whatever you want. anything just so he could press gentle kisses and suck everywhere he possibly could, except he can’t.
jiung’s frustration led to him pulling down the hem of his sweatpants, mind in a frenzy as he almost salivates at the tantalizing sight.
of course you had to give him a little show, cutely turning around so he could get a view with that sultry gaze of his. he snaps out of his trance when he hears the creak of your bed, your figure slipping out of the frame once you utter that you’ll be right back.
it's not for long until you return, meeting his eyes, lip caught between your teeth as you hid what you brought in with you. “i wonder how you’re so patient with me,”
you raise the question after not hearing a single peep from him, after having done everything else you had to by the minute. even setting up the camera a little closer so he’d get a better view of your clothed cunt.
“how could i rush an angel like you?”
and just when you thought he’d be so timid all night, he manages to make your heart flutter out of your chest, a grin sneaking on your lips followed by a short chuckle.
“mhmm, look at what you do to me, jiung.” you whisper, pulling your panties to the side, enough to reveal your dripping slit. he groans through his lips that were once pursed, hips bucking up at his hand. it’s so obvious how he felt a little embarrassed about being so worked up this early on during the call. and you haven’t even fully stripped yet.
“i want to see you feel good… play with that pretty pussy of yours for me?” it’s like his cock is talking for himself at this point, wishing you missed the way his eyes widened a little at his words.
“it’s almost as if you always know the right thing to say,” you coo at him before shuffling on the sheets, pulling in within the frame a bunch of the toys you like to use to get yourself off during your livestreams. “help me pick?” your hand found purchase in a cute little pink toy that could fit snugly right into your palm. “this one helps me squirt a bit easier—”
“—i know.” he cuts you off, trying to blink away the daze he’s caught ever since he’s been on call with you. it’s like his horniness urges him to talk without a second thought.
“of course you’d know,” you reply with a slight laugh, settling the little toy back onto your pile.
before you could pick up your vibrator by the side, jiung’s quick to catch your attention, eyes flickering up at him. “i was wondering if you could try that one, by your thigh.”
“this pastel pink one?” he nods, fixated on how your fingers couldn’t even fully wrap around the girth of the toy. he’s not one to show off, and yet he can’t help but feel like it slightly resembles his cock a bit, even a little on the veinier edge. he pushes his obscene fantasies toward the back of his mind but he can’t seem to stop wondering… if you really were there with him, could you really handle his cock?
and he thinks it’s a bit cute that your toy matches your lingerie set, tilting your head to the side as if you were asking him permission to take all of the pink fabric off. once the rest of your clothes were discarded, you wasted no time on settling the toy on the bed, kneeling to grind your wet cunt on the tip until jiung softly insists that he wants you to lay back onto your sheets.
“just wanna see how it, s-stretches you out…” you think he’s so adorable trying to keep a gentle tone while his words were a total contrast, straight up filth. don’t get him wrong, he couldn’t resist watching you bounce on your little toy until you cream all over. it’s just that, he wonders what it’ll look like when you're beneath him. but he keeps his thoughts a hushed secret.
you think jiung’s really cute trying to ask, but you wanted to play with him a little bit more before you could have your fun.
“it’s no fair you get to see me with nothing on at all… wanna see you too,”
he only blinks, brows furrowed like there was an inch of hesitation tugging him back. despite everything, he really couldn’t resist your adorable plea, angling his phone down. enough for you to still get a view of his pretty lips, the expanse of his neck—adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. wishing badly that you could suck on the exposed skin as the collar of his sweater almost slides down his shoulder.
but what really catches your attention is his leaky cock, salivating over the sight of his tip, an angry red.
“so you're hiding all that underneath?”
jiung bites his lip in silence. he doesn't get this much attention from before, so he's a bit clueless on how to act. it’s not like he hasn’t flirted with anyone else his whole life, it’s just that... he hasn’t gone to this phase yet. and with such a huge leap he’s facing tonight, he’s a bit embarrassed that it makes his cock twitch in return.
“what’d you say you go on live with me sometime soon?” he catches the way you begin to drag the shaft of the toy in between your legs, enough to make it all sticky with your arousal, teasing your sensitive clit. jiung’s quick to match your pace, dragging his palm repeatedly from the base up to his tip. he’s trying to find the right words… yet he's miserably reduced to a mere stutter.
“just kidding baby,” he breathes out a sigh from your reply. out of relief or pleasure, he doesn't know.
“want you all to myself anyway, can’t have others looking at you like i do. right baby?” and it's like his hand has a mind of his own as his pace speeds up, sinking onto the sheets as he starts to feel the pleasure surge through his nerves. his eyes are fierce as he watches the way you slowly inch the tip of the toy into your hole, splitting you open. you badly wish you could see the look on his face when he lets out the hottest groans you’d ever heard in your life.
“nghm, jiung…” you sink the whole length of the toy inside of your sopping cunt, cheeks flushed as he tightens his grip everytime his hand reaches the base of his cock. fuck, he truly wants to find out how it feels like to thrust into that pretty pussy of yours. must feel so good, feeling your wetness clench around him.
“be a little bit more vocal with me, especially with a voice like that.” you wantonly urged. and when he’d thought he'd only dream of hearing a compliment like that towards his songs. jiung felt like he’s gonna melt at your words.
you desperately wanted to hear the rasp in his voice as you eventually got used to the stretch of your toy, clenching around the veins of its shaft. “fuck yourself how you’d think i’d do you if i was there,”
you can’t help but moan at his sudden words, fingers tight around your toy, attempting to meet your sloppy thrusts halfway.
“oh you’re so filthy huh,” a smirk tugs at the side of ur lips, following his firm command. “from the way you’re breathing so heavily right now i think you couldn't really resist me at all.”
your words fade into a whimper when you’d grant what he asked for, sinking your toy over and over inside your cunt in a mindblowing pace. and it’s until he begins to see your arousal seep around where your hole meets the shaft, so wet and messy.
jiung matches your speed, so sure that if it were your cunt gripping his cock right now instead of his hand, he would’ve been pathetically cumming already. he wouldn’t admit it but you’re right, he’d absolutely lose his mind, like what he’s starting to feel by the second. fighting to keep his heavy lids open as the squelch of your wet cunt echoes through his ears, each thrust wishing it was the tip of his throbbing cock hitting your spot.
fuck, it’s driving jiung insane when you start to whine about wanting to cum badly, and yet he’s so shameless when he tells you to keep it in until he says so, biting your lip at the abrupt shift in tone.
"ahh... you're such a tease,"
it’s so cute as the both of you slow down before almost crashing into your climax, trembling hand turning into an unhurried pace of thrusting as you hold onto your toy messy with slick. jiung kept silent, looking so adorably pathetic as he couldn't help but buck into his palm wrapped around the length of his cock.
“let me see your face angel?” and you peer the camera up so he could see your glossy eyes, tears threatening to escape from the desperation of wanting to chase your high. unfortunately, he doesn’t wanna snap you out of getting edged yet.
he’s such a menace as he begins his pace again, and only him, leaving you uttering pleas for his signal. moaning in unison while he’s trying to reach the same peak as you.. only resorting to fiddling with your perked nipples, toy still inside of your pulsing hole.
“i’m cumming, fuck… cum with me angel.” and at his words you follow, beginning to fuck yourself to amplify the heat pooling at your stomach, eyes shut tight wishing it was him plowing through your cunt, mad.
it’s not for long until you’re so lost within a drunken haze, only a chorus of erotic moans exchanged between a screen. though you’d fuck yourself countless of times before with this filthy toy, it had never felt this good. as if it were jiung who was pushing you toward the edge of pleasure, or maybe it’s just his charms taking effect on you.
you throw the thought aside as you watch him chase his climax. furiously stroking himself over and over with just the mere desperation and horniness of a touch-deprived graduating college student, along with the echo of your breathy whines to get him off.
jiung reaches his orgasm with a deep groan vibrating in his chest, and you think about how cute he is when he couldn’t help but jerk his hips up at his grip, hot cum all messy as it shoots out of his slit. and just like he does, your vision gets cloudy, back arching, as your legs begin to tremble, fucking yourself with fervor through your climax using your girthy toy. you’d never had a shuddering orgasm like this before, numbing your thighs until the rest of the pleasure spread through your veins. and you kept fucking and fucking the toy into you until your trembling hands had mercy on your pulsing cunt.
of course your eyes had never left him, moaning at the sight of his flushed cheeks, mouth slightly agape in bliss until he can’t cum anymore. you coo when his camera suddenly looks hazy. and from jiung’s point of view, he’d pathetically made a mess of his release all over his screen, looking like he'd actually cum all over your face, clarity following closely.
it was silent for a long moment, until your giggles interrupted the silence. “you had fun?”
“y-yeah i…” his voice is hoarse through the little stutters, trying to catch his ragged breath.
“you were so cute,” you can't help but giggle again, slipping the toy out of your cunt with ease.
fuck, you looked so hot, can’t even take his eyes off you when he watches your sticky cum drip out of your hole… down to your sheets.
“i-i’ll help you clean up if i could, sorry i really,-”
“i think it's more like you need to clean up, something’s gotten on your camera.”
and that’s when he snaps back into reality… scrambling to his box of tissues and wipes his filthy mess off of his screen. and in a daze, jiung accidentally ends the call when he wipes over the end call button.
fuck. fuck. fuck.
it’s like he’d cum once and just started to fumble every single thing he’s trying to do. he swiftly types up a cute little apology of how he didn’t mean to end the call so abruptly, missing the way you’d only giggle at his flood of messages. this time, he made sure he wiped his hand clean before fiddling with the damn screen of his phone.
y/n: sweet dreams, cutie~
he watches as the last of your message pops up before sinking into his plush sheets, blankly staring at the darkness of his ceiling. choi jiung you're crazy...
...his friends won’t fucking believe his story.
123 notes · View notes
kimsmuse · 1 year ago
Text
yandere hongjoong + baby trapping ♡ !!
i do not condone anything here, it’s all just fictional. do not consume if you don’t like yandere or dark themes.
fem!reader (no pronouns, just because there's mention of pregnancy) 1.2k words. warnings include manipulation, mentions/implications of sex and messing with birth control and condoms, and yandere behavior, and also kinda stockholm syndrome?
i have a planned part two, so let me know if anybody is interested <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Your relationship with hongjoong is normal. Very normal, in fact. He has the kind of aura that would automatically appeal to everyone around you as your perfect partner. He had a caring nature and it wasn’t just limited to you, he brought out gifts and things your parents briefly mentioned that they liked for them and helped them out in tasks that even you being their kid, didn’t want to. And when it came to your friends, they were rightly impressed by him from the very first time that they met him over lunch and he insisted on paying the bill. But even without the economic front, all of them were secretly swooning over how when you said you didn’t like the food you ordered and rather liked his dish, he was immediate in swapping them even though it was evident that even he didn’t like it.
Your parents had already dreamt of him as the perfect son-in-law, the one that they would be bragging about to neighbours, relatives, you name it and they’d be bragging and your friends were already planning to invite him and you, ofcourse to this new italian place that opened for lunch..
So it comes as a shock to them when you let them know that your relationship has sunk to a saturation point, meaning it was just dying. it wasn’t even anybody's fault - not yours and neither hongjoong's but it felt like a pretty, beautiful flower wilting, slowly withering away. it was good while it lasted though.
your father's first comment was to ask, "does that mean i have to watch all my baseball matches alone from now?"
you knew what it meant though. have you two broken up? not yet, but you were going to talk to him today.
lately, all he replied to you was with “hmm's” and a nod or maybe if you were lucky enough, he would look your way. he said it was because he was stressed about his work, and that he really needed some time and space to focus for it, which you weren't quite against but the way things had steadily been the same for about more than 6 months, you felt like you had to be the bad person and pull the trigger.
“hongjoong,”
he sits down on the sofa and sighs, but responds to you, his voice tired.
“yes, baby? ” he asks.
you're in the kitchen, removing your apron and slowly making your way to the living room, you wonder what his reaction will be when you finally break the news to him. accepting? angry? upset?
“ hongjoong, we need to talk, ”
now, hongjoong wasn’t born yesterday, he knows what that stands for wnd he's been aware of the crumbling of the relationship as well but when push comes to shove…
he decides that he'll let you speak, he'll let you pour out whatever you feel like saying, what are the problems you think are bothering your relationship.
“I get it, baby,” he emphasises on the nickname sourly, “do it.”
he looks nonchalant about the whole situation while you just want out now, you didn’t like where this whole thing seemed to be heading now, his eyes were getting almost angry, something you’ve seen him do with others, but you? you’d never have imagined him looking your way like that.
there’s something scary about it, “oh, joong, i don’t want to break it off, i’m just wondering if we can work on it, give it a better chance.”
relief fills you when you see that his expressions have softened. “i’m sorry, i thought you wanted to leave, shit. sorry, i can’t believe i would…”
hongjoong had messed up, big time. it wasn’t excusable this time, he felt guilty that he was angry at you when you didn’t even want to leave him. you’d never want to leave him, right?
hongjoong waits, with bated breath. he's been waiting for about, 3 weeks, yes, as the calendar tells him. and it finally begins, the wave of nausea starts hitting you and its not his alarm that wakes him up but the sound of you retching out your guts. he doesn’t mind it, not right now, when it was his plan all along.
and he can tell you're confused, you had the pills! you took them! and he watches you try to sheepishly dispose of the pregnancy tests, and he even follows you to the gynec’s clinic, careful to keep a distance so you can’t see him.
but you see, if there’s one rule hongjoong would always tell his future kid to follow is to never trust anybody, in your case you didn't have a choice really so he doesn't blame you for giving in to him. but for his kid, he needs to instill this one thing in him thoroughly. the world was a big, bad place, where people like his father lived.
after you confronted him, it was like hongjoong woke up from his sleep, like if he didn’t do anything, didn’t put in efforts, then you could actually leave, and he’d be damned if he ever let you do that. so he decided to level up his games, first it was his change in behaviour, he came home early, he brought in all sorts of trinkets and snacks that he thought you would like and he returned to his normal self, but he could, deep down, sense that it wasn’t the way it was before and he was scared that you pack up and leave still.
it was why he had replaced the birth control pills and even went as far as to poke holes in his condom.
he wasn't a bad man really, but he was getting sick of your protests to leave soon and that you've had enough of him or that you both aren't working anymore. he notices that those complaints have considerably started going down as your focus shifts to your health.
and now he doesn't think the crumbling state of his relationship would matter much, he would hit the reset button and he would become the man that you and his kid needed.
he becomes so, so soft throughout the entire period, it would make you forget about any of the cruelties he ever inflicted on you. and you think to yourself, maybe he really can change, maybe he really did change for the better?
and hongjoong thinks that as well, he's just so happy for the both of you. you're having a baby! it's so exciting!
when you tell him he pretends to not know, to be surprised, “we’re having a baby!” as if he wasn’t the one who conspired and made the whole thing happen.
the best thing is that you seem happy about it too, hongjoong has changed, and there’s nobody else you’d rather have a kid with, especially since you’ve seen how caring he is with other kids and just other people generally, so when it would come to his own kid, he would definitely come into the perfect father category.
when you looked at him, holding his hand, he feels like the man you fell in love with in the beginning and you’re sure, that you’ll love the father of your kid forever. let’s just hope you never find out how he bent seas and mountains to make that happen.
384 notes · View notes
absolutebl · 2 years ago
Text
Welcome to Tumblr BL Fandom - Here’s Your Primer
memes, insider trading & obsession meta post
Tumblr media
The Death Stairs 
They haunt us. These same stairs constantly pop up in Thai BLs and we worry that someone is going to die on them (or fuck on them, or both).
BL origin = unknown, we only recently started tracking them (but the actual origin of the death stairs is 99 Home Studio117, RPC6+JM3 ซอย รามอินทรา 117 Min Buri, Bangkok 10510, Thailand. It appears to be a house rented out for filming. Honestly? They should AirBnB that level of fame. I’d rent it, buy a cactus and a chili plant, just for the photo op.)  
Rain Makes BL Boys Sick
For which the only solution is a sponge bath administered by another boy with a bowl of water and a damp white towel.
We don’t make the rules, the BL gods do. 
origin of the rain=fever = cultural
BL origin for the sponge bath = 2014′s Love Sick
Tumblr media
The gayest bridge in Thailand
The Rama VII Bridge has appeared in so many Thai BLs - boys kiss on it and in front of it... A LOT. 
BL origin = SOTUS 2016  
Honor the Crumbs
Side dishes given very little screen time always end up being everyone’s favorites (especially in the pulps). Also falls under side dish syndrome. This is mostly a Thai BL thing, since they’re usually the BLs featuring more than one couple. (Taiwan is getting there, tho.)  
BL origin = @heretherebedork
Tumblr media
The Engineering Department is Gay (also Pink Milk) 
The hot Thai boy in the engineering smock (red or blue) is either gay or a chaos bisexual. There are no exceptions. 
BL origin = SOTUS 2016 
Korea’s BL bubble 
A world where queer is simply accepted and a hostile society doesn’t exist. ​
Origin, probably Strongberry’s 2017-2018 shorts, but best known starters are 2020′s Mr Heart & Wish You
Tumblr media
Namgoong award for best wingman 
Supportive straight(ish) besties! Appear throughout BL history, but really reached peak awesome with Namgoong, so a collection of us just started saying “thank you, Namgoong” whenever this archetype shows up. 
BL origin, Light on Me 
Korea’s BL formula 
(1 short Kpop idol + 1 tall actor / random separation in the last half of the final episode) x a small cast = KBL (usually 6-8 episodes totaling under 2 hrs)
BL origin, 2015′s The Lover 
Korean male beauty ideals here. 
Tumblr media
Korea figured out boys can kiss 
To be fair Strongberry always knew this and Just Friends? gave it to us in 2005, it’s just they forgot for a while. A long while. 
origin = Korean 2022 BL
speaking of... 
Dead fish kisses
This tradition carried for years by Japan’s light BL, early Thai BL like Love Sick, & then Korea. It took Thailand’s 2016 BL (specifically elder gods KarnNut & MaxTul) to start breaking this curse. Could be argued that Ohm in 2016′s Make it Right also paved the way (while BoomPeak exemplify dead fish kissing). 
origin = early 2000s JBL when it was still known as Live Action Yaoi 
Tumblr media
Taiwan = the kings of high heat 
Taiwan always serves up the most consistent and authentic chemistry, kisses, and higher heat. Thailand has it as well, but isn’t as consistent about it. 
BL origin = 2017 HIStory franchise and every Taiwanese BL since (although Eternal Summer probably started it in 2006) 
Taiwan’s marriage equality 
Taiwan was the first to feature sanctioned gay marriage in a BL, the first to depict queer engagements - and they regularly like to remind us that it’s legal there. As they should. 
BL origin = HIStory 2: Right or Wrong 2017 
Tumblr media
Thailand’s food = love
Lovers cook, serve, feed, and/or eat together. Always. At least something along these lines in every Thai BL. 
origin, well just Thailand in general (and Asia to be fair), but probably SOTUS & Love Sick 
Vietnam’s domesticity
Vietnam always depicts at least some of their characters in a home environment, with family life, adopted kids, and more.
BL origin = Tein Bromance Extra
Tumblr media
Cactus baby (and chili plant younger sibling) 
Hilariously a cactus plant was deployed as a courting gift, spy device, and blooming representation of sexual awakening in MaxTul vehicle Manner of Death. Tumblr adopted that cactus baby. 
BL origin = Manner of Death 2021
What China Did 
Massive wholesale censorship curtailed/abruptly cut short multiple shows in progress in 2016-2017. Also resulted in rewriting and reshooting of those in production, and more weird and invidious things. This also showed up as a purge (and likely persecution) of Chinese queer vloggers on YouTube, the imprisonment of several danmai authors, and eventually the censored bromances we now get today. 
BL origin victim = Addicted, Advance Bravely, etc...
Tumblr media
Japan’s lanes 
Japan’s propensity to lean in favor of either
sweet, campy, and very low heat live action yaoi shot in a manga style with HEA, or 
dark, gritty high heat queer cinema and pinks shot in an atmospheric style with tragic endings 
BL origin, Boys Love 2006 & Takumi-kun 2007 
History of Japanese BL here and the weeds of Japanese BL here. 
#In Strongberry We Trust 
Small, queer, Korean production house Strongberry had been producing short form pro-queer KBL successfully for years, long before larger studios picked BL up. But when they transitioned to long form in 2022, we were a little scared they wouldn’t stick the landing. #InStrongberryWeTrust became our mantra.
BL origin = Choco Milk Shake 2022 
Tumblr media
Faen Fatal(e) 
A side character, usually an ex-girlfriend but occasionally an ex-boyfriend, whose sole purpose is as a plot device to drive a wedge between the leads, or cause jealousy. 
BL origin = Love Sick
The Thai BL Pulps
Very low budget BL with terrible sound, crazy soapy plots, and earnest acting.
BL origin = Make It Right 2016 (term coined by @heretherebedork​ & self) 
Tumblr media
The Mame effect 
AKA #oh mame must you? 
The mameverse features great characters, killer actor chemistry, and higher heat combined with terrible damaging tropes and non-sensical plot devices.
BL origin = TharnType (although technically started in Love By Chance) 
The 2 Moons Curse 
When a popular BL franchise struggles to survive over one season and keeps having to recast the leads. 
BL origin = 2Moons original 2017 
Tumblr media
Dread Episode 11 
AKA Doom of Ep 11
Explained here. 
Golden Rules of BL 
Never trust: 
a Thai trailer, 
a Viki Category, 
a Vietnamese sub, 
an MDL description, 
a Taiwanese title, 
Japan, 
or a BL made before 2014.
Origin = me over the years 
BLoundary Test: has the seme ever respected a single boundary?
BLechdel Test. 2 ukes discuss something that is not their seme(s). Also uke indicates actual interest in sex in a relationship.
(source)
okay what did I forget? 
699 notes · View notes
rooniper · 2 months ago
Text
The inevitable Ralph Lore Masterpost
Here it comes. After my second re-read and a week of talking about this fictional cringefail tragic girl dad to anyone who would listen, here it finally is, because I felt a need to write all of this down for future reference and also because I am very close to exploding at any given second of the day.
Also: do keep in mind some of this is my personal speculation/theories/ramblings and probably not canon, but I did try to stick to just the book as much as possible. This is not a coherent essay. Really, it’s a word vomit because I can’t stop thinking about the funny Phone Man. I still probably missed some things, feel free to chime in in the replies, might make a Part 2 unpacking some of the lore/non-Ralph related bits in the future who knows.
Anyways, in no particular order (AND OBVIOUSLY; SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT):
Pre-Freddy’s Era Details I Couldn’t Fit Anywhere Else (Or: Upbringing, College and some Coppelia’s Mom Speculation)
There’s not much info about Ralph’s childhood from what I could gather, except two things: he was bullied in school to the point where he had to hide in a locked bathroom stall to get away from his classmates, and his father was a major a-hole who had extremely high expectations for him and also used to scare him out of wanting to play hide-and-seek with him which. Goddamn. The quote “all your life you’ve gotten used to not pushing buttons” really, really doesn’t help the horrible parents allegations. So yeah the man has daddy issues, jot that down.
Expanding on the previous point: a lot of his parenting of Coppelia seems to be directly influenced by his own upbringing. The paragraph-long tangent about how he’s purposefully awful at hide-and-seek because he never wants Pel to feel as scared as he did is an obvious example, but he also brings her gifts from work pretty much constantly (and sidenote: he thinks of taking things from his job that he never breaks the rules at to bring to her all the goddamn time, while being actively hunted by murderous animatronics. That’s so goddamn wholesome I’m sorry even when he’s scared out of his mind he’s constantly thinking of her). He never puts her down the way it’s implied he was put down as a child, he seems really supportive of her hobbies by the way he talks about her reading. I have more to say about his parenting skills, but the fact that he’s terrified of becoming like his own father/parents seems to be a giant part of them.
He’s a college dropout who majored in psychology, aiming to specialize in child psychology, which makes so much sense but also I find incredibly ironic considering he later exhibits very VERY obvious signs of what’s probably PTSD and doesn’t clock it at all. But that is also going to be its separate point, put a pin in that.
It’s not just implied, but pretty explicitly stated by Ralph himself that he’s a massive overachiever. He was probably pretty academically successful in college, considering he mentions it was a surprise to most people that he’d drop out to get into security work. It’s pretty strongly implied this was mostly because he was pressured into succeeding by his parents. My man has that helicopter parents burnout syndrome, and escaped it by going into a job where he could still interact with kids like he wanted to as a psychologist but actually be happy, and that means a lot to me actually.
(Very important sidenote, because I don’t know where else to put this: the fact that his real dream job is to make children’s toys is just so real to me, especially as someone who’s also experienced academic burnout. It makes so much sense for him to want to do something with his hands where he can create something tangible after being pushed into being traditionally ‘successful’ in academia by his environment. Also put a pin in this as well because I have another point to make about the whole toymaker thing)
He seems to be at least low-contact with his family, which is understandable from what we know about his father - I’d say it’s likely he even cut contact completely after dropping out of college. The fact that he never mentions his parents as a possibility when he talks about babysitting options, or the fact that he doesn’t even consider them taking care of Coppelia when he is literally about to die seems pretty telling to me. I mean, alternatively, they could both be dead, depending on how old Ralph is, but since Coppelia’s only eleven that seems a bit unlikely.
Coppelia’s mom is a mystery. There is exactly one mention of her in this entire book and it doesn’t come from Ralph, but from Pel, so we know she does in fact exist but that’s about it. When Ralph talks about parenting Coppelia he never mentions her mom, even as far back as when Coppelia was one year old. They probably divorced when Coppelia was really young, and Ralph likely has full custody, since he never mentions Coppelia going to her mother’s for the weekend or anything like that. And that’s all we know.
Freddy’s and Related Tidbits (Or: I Stuffed Everything Related to his Relationship to Fazbear Entertainment in this Section)
He’s worked at Freddy’s for at least eleven years, because he mentions Coppelia being a month old when he already had the job and recorded his first training tape. If FNAF 1 indeed takes place in 1993, that means he was already working at Freddy’s by 1982 and likely earlier. Which, side-tangent, would imply that either Fredbear’s Family Diner was removed enough from Fazbear Entertainment by then for him not to know anything beyond the vague existence about the bite of ‘83, or that FNAF 1 takes place after 1993. But at this point the timeline is confusing enough that who knows.
He’s never moved up to management despite being there for more than a decade, also doesn’t appear to know Henry or William (especially if you believe the whole Dave-is-probably-William theory).
He was employee of the month 22 times. He also likely competed against his murderer ex-boss in disguise for the longest employee of the month award streak which is the best goddamn thing I’ve ever heard.
He’s written some of the rules at Freddy’s. Because of course he has.
He leaves passive-agressive notes to the dayshift guard and also thinks about shoving a ballpoint pen in the cleaning staff’s faces. And also talks about reporting people for slacking off. What I’m trying to say that he’s probably not the most popular of people with the rest of the staff, and doesn’t appear to realize why that could possibly be. Worst enemy of folks who don’t want to take their shitty minimum wage job extremely seriously.
On a related note, he takes his job so seriously oh my god. He does like twenty other jobs each night while the animatronics are trying to kill him. He’s probably the only person still doing reports. Management is very much implied to never read them. He writes them anyway. The fact that he was genuinely called ‘the Phone Guy’ and also was in training videos is also amazing (and also pushes the Trans Phone Guy agenda for anyone who considers Kim from the FNAF movie to be a stand-in for him).
This is specifically night-shift related: While it’s true that his survival instincts are absolutely shot, he is, when pushed, demonstrated to be capable of extreme violence against animatronics, which actually good for him. He kicks Bonnie’s head off. He beats Chica to death with a mop. He shoots Foxy with a watergun and also throws a lightbulb at him. This is not particularly important to anything but it’s extremely important to me.
Anyways, he’s really, really loyal to this company. Like, too loyal. Like, he was very much responsible and instrumental in shutting down rumors and speculation among staff after the bite of ‘87 and likely after the MCI as well too loyal. He’s management’s mouthpiece for their dirty work and that makes me feel a certain way because it’s so obvious he cares a lot about this shitty kids’ restaurant, enough that he’d defend it at all cost even when there’s so much evidence against it. This will come up again when I talk about him gaslighting himself.
This is mostly me speculating on the previous point, but I’m pretty certain a lot of his defending of the company is also a coping mechanism that he uses to grapple with the trauma brought to him by the fact that he’s spent a huge chunk of his life working for a conglomerate that’s gotten people killed. He genuinely insinuates Jeremy was responsible for getting chomped, because he must’ve done something wrong, the animatronics would never attack anyone without reason (right?). When he talks about how the media blew children going missing out of proportion, it seems less like he believes it and more like he doesn’t want to believe it - especially considering he’s only brought Coppelia to Freddy’s once in her life. He never lets her near it. He shuts her down immediately when she talks about working at it. Which, at least to me, demonstrates that on a subconscious level, he knows what he’s saying isn’t true. It’s just easier to say it than face the facts.
And lastly, he’s so clearly and passionately loyal to the Fazbear’s franchize. This fucker genuinely loves working here and is sad to go, even though management treats him like shit. We already knew that, but still, dear god those people could not care less if he lived or died and he STILL takes his night guard duties so goddamn seriously. He’s so clearly really invested in it, he talks about what a magical place Freddy’s used to be for kids, he talks about how much the job means to him, all the while it’s actively trying to kill him, he defends it to the point that it’s actively ridiculous, and in multiple endings he still gets blackmailed, disappeared or worse by the people he’s defending. And- I don’t know. It just makes me really sad. Again, I do believe his over-the-top enthusiasm for his job is probably him compensating for the fact that he doesn’t want to face the incredibly traumatic stuff happening to him, especially because as the week goes on, he gets less and less enthusiastic with every night, and just- Yeah. Fazbear Entertainment doesn’t deserve him.
Characterization, Diction and Things Like That (Or: Everything Else)
Let’s get the more positive stuff in this section out of the way first: we already knew this from the phone calls, but the way this man talks just sends me. “Time to make the donuts” when walking into a shift my favorite of his Phone-Guy-isms, but also unironically saying “oh boy!” and “what rotten luck!” right when you’re about to die is equally important to me.
Kind of related but not really: this man truly is a dad through and through because MY GOD the amount of bad puns and/or stupid references he makes is criminal. The fact that they get him actually killed in some of the endings because he keeps laughing at his own terrible jokes is also great. My favorite examples include thinking “my, what large ears you have” immediately before Foxy mauls him, the Irony Curtain, the how many night watchmen does it take to change a lightbulb, and so on. The fact that he also finds all of this absolutely hilarious means so much to me. Ralph truly is a cringefail girl dad, RIP to him he would’ve loved those awful shirts with puns that were popular with dads going to Disneyland in the 2000s.
Not gonna lie, and I’m not sure if this is just me reading too much into it, but he also reads as at least slightly neurodivergent to me. And I am ready to die on that hill. He doesn’t really seem to be the best at social interaction or with figuring people out, from the way he talks about not being able to tell if his coworkers are only laughing at his jokes to be polite or not and how he doesn’t seem to understand why they would be upset with him shoving minimal errors in their faces. He notices a single hat out of place in one of the Party Rooms and immediately goes to correct it. He makes a point about how much he hates messes and the whole “you need order, you crave order in your life” quote resonated so deeply with me that it’s uncanny. He’s a “stickler for rules”. The fact that he worked at one place for eleven plus years also makes me think he’s probably not the best with change. I could go on. I don’t know, I wouldn’t be able to tell you why, but I just can’t see him as fully neurotypical.
He’s also just a really curious dude, to the point of his curiosity overriding his survival instincts. Which is a horror protagonist trope if I’ve ever seen one. The scene where he lifts up a strange robot cupcake he just found directly to his face with zero hesitation is just. Yeah.
He loves Foxy, which we already knew, but also the fact that he explicitly states that he’s still scared of him and Pirate Cove by association makes me kinda sad. Also, related point, he’s a self-proclaimed fan of pirate stories, so I’m pretty sure that’s where Coppelia gets her taste in books from, but that’s besides the point.
In general, he just really loves the animatronics, too? Like he waves at them after his shift. Like I already mentioned, he talks about how much they mean to him, and how much he loves the fact that they brought joy to kids. It’s kinda sweet.
The most questionable thing about him is the way he. Uh. Talks about guns/cops in a way that kind of makes me remember he was raised in Utah around the 1960s. There are a few specific passages that make me extremely concerned about what his opinion on the second amendment is. But that is luckily left unspoken so I’ll be moving along.
The job stresses him out so much he consumes a packet of raw poptarts because he’s so hungry by the end of it. Which, while iconic, is also very deeply concerning. Which brings me to my biggest point
My god this man has Trauma. So much Trauma. He represses so much. The entirety of the beginning of Night 3 is just him describing that he forgets details about his shifts as soon as he leaves them. He gaslights himself constantly that nothing bad is happening (after Night 1, for example, he calls the entire shift the night before a bad dream and convinces himself he’s just “misinterpreting” events, which is goddamn concerning), but he’s also actively wasting away despite telling himself he’s not (my man looks into the mirror and his only and first comment is that he looks terrible). Not to mention the dissociation. He spaces out when he comes home on two seperate occassions, and loses and entire hour each time without realizing it. God I hope in the endings where he survives he eventually gets therapy.
Coppelia and Life Outside of Work (Or: This Section is Concerningly Short)
This man loves his daughter so goddamn much. So, so much.
No but seriously the interactions between him and Coppelia are so pure and well written and they were my favorite part of the book, somehow, even though I wasn’t originally sold on the concept. The “with what?” “excellent point, I’ve got nothing” kills me still. The scene where Coppelia curls up next to him after he comes home from his shift makes me want to sob. He makes her pancakes and they banter and she test limits but it’s obvious she also loves her dad, and that is- AAAAAA
Back to my bullshit, though: Ralph does kinda read as the type of parent who’d spoil a kid rotten if given the opportunity to do so. At some point Coppelia directly says that he “gets her everything she wants”, and- yeah. This is similar to the point I made previously about him bringing her gifts all the time. She does seem like a good kid, though. He’s just a girl dad to the extent that he’d probably wear a shirt with girl dad written on it, you know?
He’s also really protective of her. And worries. A lot. Not just when he calls home or rushes home to check on her, but also when he talks about being a security guard at her school and whenever he forbids her from ever ever going near Freddy’s. Say what you will about him defending a company to a possibly unethical extent, but he’s not about to endanger his daugher over it, and I respect that.
The only concering thing about him and Coppelia is the fact that Coppelia apparently drew herself stabbing him when she was little. Which is. Well. Not ideal. The fact that he finds this completely normal is very in character, though.
On Coppelia by herself, though: the fact that she ‘tinkers with stuff in the basement’ concerns me. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if after the canon ending, she ends up to be a technician at Freddy’s at some point. Also, the fact that she’s a gamer warms my heart.
Now, on other outside-work activities: I love the implication that my man not only bowls and always pays for dinner, but that he bowls and pays for dinner while dining with his serial killer ex-boss. God, that’s awesome, I love that so much.
Tying back to a point I made previously and also to a point I saw some people make that I really, really resonated with: there are actually a lot of parallels between Henry/William and Ralph, especially concering parenting. I don’t think the fact that his dream to be a toymaker is accidental, either, or the fact that he goes out of his way to point out that he wants to make toys that aren’t at all mechanical. Because even though he’s also a dad trying to make his kid happy with his creations, unlike William and/or Henry, he doesn’t want to make anything bigger than himself, or anything innovative; just wants to make simple things and make a kid’s day better. I don’t know man keeps me up at night, you know?
And, because this is only important to me: he owns a Kit-Cat Clock. This is somehow the most fitting thing I could’ve read about his taste in home decor.
And because I don’t know how else to end this: that’s a wrap! Was this book perfect? Hell no. The Bronwen plotline makes my brain hurt. But was it incredibly fun? Oh hell yes. And now I have a reference point for any future writings I do where Ralph is an active character, so that’s a major bonus. I have many thoughts but not enough time to put all of them down so I’m stopping here, major thanks to @graceandtheidiotsquad for pushing me over the edge and making me actually finish this with a reply lmao. And that’s all! Phone Man please get out of my head now before I go insane.
31 notes · View notes
montammil · 5 months ago
Text
June of Doom Day 20 - "I can handle it."
| Scrape | Panic Attack | Neglect |
Characters: Lawrence, Marshall
Only neglect by Marshall's old parents, but it still counts to me lol. I like writing stockholm syndrome as you can probably tell XD
CW: Stockholm syndrome, parental whumper, carewhumper, panic attacks, bone breaking, blood, anxiety, self-consciousness, insecurites, past child emotional abuse, infantilization
...
Marshall had no idea he fell right into Lawrence's trap, and hard too. It took a few months, but in that short span of time, Lawrence showed him the truth.
It was time to accept the reality that no one would save him or give a damn that he was even missing. Not even his biological parents. They didn't love him. How could they love someone so overly dependent and stupid?
But Lawrence loved him. And that was the only thing that mattered.
Now that he had Lawrence's trust, that also meant more freedom. He was allowed to play out in the backyard alone, and in front of the house as long as he didn't go into the forest or into the road. That was more than enough for Marshall.
To his surprise, he actually liked being a kid again.
He had no big responsibilities, he could read all day, watch TV, or sleep if he wanted to. He still had chores around the house, but they were easy tasks.
And unlike his real parents who would yell if he forgot or did it wrong, Lawrence always helped him, guiding him through the steps without any harsh remarks or punishments. It was nice having someone who was patient with him for once.
Life was good.
His thoughts wandered as he worked outside planting some of the seeds Charlotte had given him from last time they visited.
For once, he wasn't obsessing over escaping Lawrence or wishing he was home, it was about his new home. He felt guilty living here rent-free, doing nothing other than the bare minimum.
He had to earn his keep. That's what he learnt from his real family.
A memory replayed in his mind. Lawrence mentioned how he loved huckleberries and cloudberries, but the forest was too dangerous for him to bother foraging.
It didn't matter to Marshall if it was safe or not, he had to make Lawrence happy somehow, and that'd be the perfect gift to show him his gratitude. Lawrence was still on a work call, and he usually stayed on those forever, so he had time.
Marshall grabbed the basket he normally used for gardening and climbed over the gate and rushed to the trees, navigating through the thick brush of the woods.
He had ran through these woods so many times that he remembered where a lot of the berry bushes were, even if he couldn't remember which berries they were.
The forest was quite nice. It smelled like dew drops and earthy soil. He didn't like the familiar feeling of being out here just a couple of months ago, when he'd escape and Lawrence would hunt him down. But that didn't matter. He wasn't a captive anymore, he was voluntarily there. He was lucky to have someone like Lawrence take care of him, and he never wanted to take that for granted.
After a half hour, he spotted a bush filled with deep purple berries. He was thankful he knew his berries semi-well from being sent to wilderness camp when he was a kid. Not some fond memories, but it was finally starting to pay off.
Marshall bent down and started picking a few of them.
A small part of him wondered why he was doing this when Lawrence told him never to go into the woods. But it would be fine. And Marshall could even plant a few seeds in the garden for him.
He hoped he would like his gift. He really, really wanted to impress Lawrence.
Lawrence was all he had now, and he refused to fuck this up.
He filled the basket, almost to the brim, and headed back to the house. He just had to get there before Lawrence realized he was gone. He got up from the ground and took a step forward when he heard a loud metal noise clamp together below him.
It took him a moment to process what he was seeing. It was a bear trap. It bit into his foot, a red gash cutting through his skin.
It was a miracle he didn't scream, but only because of the shock that swept over him.
He stumbled and dropped the basket, letting the berries roll onto the grass.
Marshall lost balance and collapsed forward, groaning in pain as the pressure against his injury increased tenfold. He choked on a sob. He tugged his leg forward, but that just caused his foot to bend in the direction of the trap. He finally yowled out in agony. Tears streamed down his face as he tried pulling himself backwards in an attempt to free his foot.
Nothing was working, and the more he moved, the worse the pain got. Blood dribbled onto the dirt from the wound.
He fell onto his side and clutched his heart. It pounded rapidly beneath his palm. He gulped down air like he was drowning, but tried to do the logical thing and pry the trap off him. He whimpered and scratched at the metal, but he couldn't get it to budge.
And it was only getting tighter the more he moved.
Marshall went to the last resort. "Lawrence!" he cried. No response.
What if by the time Lawrence found him, he was mauled by an actual bear, or died from starvation? What if Lawrence was so disappointed in him, he just left him here to rot?
Marshall's breathing increased at the horrifying thought.
"Dad!" he tried again. His voice was much more broken and hoarse with his second attempt.
All over some dumb berries. He was going to die here alone for the most pathetic reason ever.
It was getting darker outside. Marshall struggled for thirty minutes before giving up when he only made his injury worse, opting to bury his head in the red and yellow leaves scattered on the ground. His face was red and splotchy from all his crying.
The cold seeped in through his clothes, the sweat dripping down his spine.
He curled up on his side, hugging his arms to his chest. He gave up fighting, just like he gave up everything in his life. If he just had listened to Lawrence, none of this would've happened. He began to cry again, but this time just from pure fear.
Would this be it? Would this be how he died? He really couldn't do anything right, could he?
Marshall couldn't tell how much time had passed, but eventually the sound of footsteps trampling the dead leaves interrupted his thoughts.
He lifted his head to meet Lawrence's horrified expression. He was panting heavily.
"M-Marshall, oh god." The blond rushed to his side. He made sure to step around the other traps littered in the grass. Marshall's vision was too blurry with tears to realize Lawrence had been crying too. "Don't move, I can handle it. You're okay, baby."
He crouched beside him. Lawrence unclasped the trap and gently slid his injured foot out of it.
His eyes widened in horror when he saw the amount of blood that oozed out of the wound, most dried by now. The grass beneath him was soaked with red liquid.
"Oh, Marshall..." he whispered. He touched the swollen, inflamed skin around the wound, checking if the bone was broken or not. Marshall hissed.
Lawrence's fingers trailed up to his face, which was completely ashen white.
It took a second before he realized Marshall was hyperventilating. His eyes were unfocused, not paying any attention to his surroundings. Lawrence cursed under his breath and gathered him in his arms. He was saying something, but Marshall couldn't understand what over his own breathing.
Marshall whimpered and tried pulling away, but Lawrence shushed him and cradled the back of his head.
He didn't even realize they were back home until he was lowered onto the sofa. His breaths still came out in rapid spurts, and Lawrence cupped his face.
"I need you to focus on your breathing. Look at me, kiddo. Can you do that for me?" Lawrence asked. Marshall whimpered and blinked hard. He focused on the blue of Lawrence's eyes. "There you go. In and out, slowly."
He obeyed him. The younger man took deep inhales through his nose and let them out in one breath, just like how Lawrence showed him whenever he was nervous or scared.
It took several minutes, but his heart rate returned to normal, though his foot hurt like hell.
Marshall sniffled and looked away. Lawrence grabbed a first aid kit from the drawer, his eyes trained on the younger man the entire time.
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed.
The blond took a seat next to him. "Don't apologize, just stay still for me." Marshall swallowed and watched him clean the gash. Every time he'd let out a gasp from the sting, Lawrence would pause and give him a few seconds to recover, softly shushing him every time he whined. It took awhile, but eventually his foot was wrapped securely in gauze.
Marshall's lip trembled again when he realized something. "The berries..."
"The berries?" Lawrence checked his head for any bumps, but the younger man brushed his hand away.
"I just wanted to pick berries for you," he croaked. "You--you mentioned how you liked huckleberries, how your mom would make you huckleberry pie, and I just...thought maybe I could get them for you as a surprise. Because you do so much for me and I do nothing in return. And now I just made your life harder. I'm sorry. All I do is mess up everything!"
He broke down. Lawrence took him into his arms, brushing his hair away from his face.
Marshall fought him at first, but after a few seconds of the gentle embrace, he relented, hiccuping and clinging onto him tightly.
"Oh, sweetie. You do more for me than you could ever imagine. You're the only one I need. Those berries mean nothing to me if they're the reason why you're hurt. It's not worth it." Lawrence pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "And for the record, you make my life so, so much better. You don't mess up everything, not at all."
Marshall shook his head. "Not even my real dad could love me, why would you? I'm worthless." He knew Lawrence hated when Marshall referred to his past life at all, let alone calling his biological dad his 'real' dad.
But Lawrence didn't have the heart to get upset from his wording. "Stop that." He pulled away so he could meet his eyes. "That man is a monster. And he doesn't deserve someone even a fraction as amazing as you. You're not worthless. You're loved, so much." He kissed his forehead. Marshall closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.
When Lawrence pulled away, he asked, "Am I in trouble?"
"No. But this is definitely a learning experience." Marshall nodded. "Never, ever, go into those woods again. Do you understand me? I can't lose you like that, I won't forgive myself if something else happens."
"Sorry. I was just trying to make you happy."
"You make me happier than you could ever know," Lawrence said. He wiped his tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "Just listen to me. That's all you need to do. Can you promise you will?"
"Yeah, I promise."
Lawrence held his pinky up. Marshall linked them, giggling at the childish action. It was nice being treated like a kid again. He really missed those days.
"Now," he started, "Dinner, bath, and then bedtime for you, young man." His voice was more jokingly stern, even if still serious. "Doctor's orders."
"If you were a doctor, I think you'd have a million lawsuits."
"Excuse you! What's that supposed to mean?" Lawrence threw a hand on his heart dramatically.
"It means you're the worst."
"Me? The worst?" he gasped. He reached down to tickle his sides, making Marshall squeal with laughter. "If you weren't injured, you'd be facing the full wrath of this tickle monster!"
"Nooo! St-stop, please!"
Lawrence pulled away. "Fine, but only because I'm a great dad. But once you're better, keep one eye open when you sleep." Marshall stuck his tongue out at him and Lawrence playfully did the same before disappearing into the kitchen.
Marshall relaxed into the couch and smiled to himself. For the first time in his life, it felt like everything was going to be okay.
30 notes · View notes
golden-eye-ramblings · 5 months ago
Text
Orter Madl Headcanon Dump Part 1
IT'S FINALLY HERE. REJOICE. SAND MAN MAN ME A SAND MANSAND. GIF CREDIT ONCE MORE TO @fallinblossoms
Tumblr media
----
Orter Madl
Height: 5'9/177cm
Age: 23
Birthdate: November 10th
Sign: Scorpio
Gender: Cisgender(?).
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Aroace
• Where oh where to begin with this man's issues. For starters, "functional" alcoholic. While he does not drink on the job(he has some standards), he does go bar hopping quite frequently after work. Oh you think he has everything together? HA. No, absolutely not.
• His desk and office at work is perfectly contained, neat and orderly but good GOD his home is a NIGHTMARE. Stacks of books, paperwork, bottles of booze both empty and not. Take out containers. Sorry girlies he is peak burnout male living space.
• He does not have a favorite food. If anything, his ideal food is a flavorless nutrition brick that has all the required vitamins and sustenance a human needs to survive. Alas no restaurant has been able to accommodate his request.
• Gifted child syndrome no doubt. My man has undiagnosed autism that was not addressed cause he was the favorite and it has put a strain on his relationships with his family. He's not good speaking terms with his father but will attend gatherings out of obligation(and on the low chance to see Wirth).
• Speaking of Wirth. Orter is a bit of a brocon? Not to the extent of Lance. He struggles to try and reconnect with his younger brother and has been making attempts but both of these idiots are so emotionally constipated that it takes outside intervention for them to finally make up. From there Orter just, cannot say no to Wirth. Like he's trying to make up for lost time. Feels like daggers digging straight into his heart when Wirth gets upset with him because he's lowkey afraid of becoming estranged again. Their relationship is getting better though, although Wirth now wishes Orter would stop being such a helicopter parent all of a sudden.
• As for relationships romantically? No, absolutely not. Nope, no, nada. Nah man. Any time his coworkers try to invite him to a date mixer he peace fades into sand and leaves. Any time his father tries to set him up with a potential spouse suddenly he has so much work to do. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand. It's a hassle and he wishes people would leave him alone about it.
• Terrible with kids. Has no idea how to handle a crying child. Probably the one who made the kid cry in the first place because his Resting Bitch Face is so intimidating. No one is happy.
• Sometimes forgets to sleep/eat whenever he's caught up in work or in a good book. The other DVs sometimes place lunches on his desk for this reason.
• In terms of closeness with the other Divine Visonaries. He is on friendly(as friendly as Orter can really be) terms with Ryoh and Kaldo, is amicable with Rayne, Sophina and Tsurara, neutral with Agito and very much dislikes Renatus(the feeling is mutual).
50 notes · View notes
aurae-rori · 5 months ago
Note
It’s 🦋, I’m back. I have thoughts and opinions and (it ended up being long) broad character analysis! You’ll see what I mean by sounding like a cocky academic in a sec.
Dr. Ratio definitely has a lot of elements of gifted kid syndrome. The not being treated like a normal kid, the self deeply intwined with excellence, the being really amazing but never reaching your “full potential,” etc etc.
But the whole idea behind gifted kid syndrome is that those kids eventually burn out or plateau. They lose motivation, or they’ve got unaddressed issues, or they get cocky and stagnate.
Sometimes… Sometimes those kids just don’t. They just don’t stop. Sometimes those kids get continuously moved up to the next level, but every time, it’s not enough of a challenge. Even in adulthood. And these people only get there because they really do care about learning, so it gets really, really exhausting to only hear things like “genius” again and again without actually being taught. At some point you start to wonder if you’re just… at the top already. If you’re the final destination.
If you don’t make an active effort to reach out to people outside that bubble, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you’re on a different level. You’re desperate to satisfy an insatiable potential. That’s what the Genius Society is, essentially. People who are labeled geniuses are usually isolated by society, so when they find each other, they come to the conclusion that they’re a unique breed of their own in order to explain how achingly lonely it is with no one to keep up with them.
They aren’t.
That’s why Dr. Ratio is such a good character to me. He’s undergone the same kind of genius-isolation treatment, but instead of separating himself from humanity, he insists on being counted as no different, even if that leaves him mostly alone. And he doesn’t pretend he isn’t intelligent either! He’s not modest, which is very annoying sometimes, but it’s… a lot realer. I mean, isn’t it more disingenuous to have people tell you how genius you are all the time and just pretend not to know you’re smart? He’s not a superior specimen of man, but he’s also not an idiot. He’s a Mundanite.
So in the spirit of being absolutely shameless, I have to say that it feels good to see some actual empathy put into this archetype. Makes me feel less like a crazy person for having the same philosophy and similar struggles.
(Still figuring out an adequate balance of self-confidence and modesty though, the social skills really are the hardest part)
In my opinion, you don't sound like a cocky academic at all. You're explaining your own views on this prospect, and honestly, I really liked reading through this. I agree - Dr. Ratio holds a special place in my heart because he's been isolated due to his intellect, but he still tries to help people and be with them. He still actively expresses his empathy (even if it's in ways that aren't quote on quote, kind) and he does care for others and tries to better their lives and teach them. Self-isolation and isolation from society is absolutely hard to deal with, but seeing him react in that way is honestly really touching and heart-warming. To see a "Gifted Kid" who just kept on going, but who also chose to grow from that experience by choosing to interact with others despite his status.
Once again, really loved reading through this. I believe in you, and I'm glad that you can empathize with others and that you can still connect with others to some level despite going through that. You're doing great, anon. If my words are worth any salt, I'm proud of you for going this far and for trying your best. Please take care of yourself and remember that you're a person outside of your intellect, too. Feel free to drop by again with more takes, because this was really sweet to read and now I have more motivation for my Dr. Ratio angst. :)
46 notes · View notes
nin-jay-go · 2 years ago
Text
yknow my friend from the luck dareth post? we watched s8 and they're not ok lol. but they also dropped some absolute BANGER analyses on me
lloyd is stuck in a cycle. perpetually circling around. as a kid, he was told he has to be the green ninja. the savior of the world. the demise of his own father. he can't be anything else. he has to abandon his childhood, focus on training. there's no time for anything else.
so he internalized that. he IS the green ninja. he IS the golden ninja. he IS a master. without his powers, his title, who is he? he doesn't know. he's not garmadon's son, anymore. he disowned him. and lloyd threw that title away when he no longer wanted to be evil.
so when his family tells him not to go, to let them help him fight garmadon, he pushes them away. because he's the green ninja, right? it's his destiny to defeat the dark lord. he's back now. it's lloyd's job to take care of him. only lloyd. only the green ninja.
this cycle has been internalized in him for so long. unable to be a kid, himself, because he's needed to be something else. and when the others don't want him to be the thing they raised him to be, he doesn't know what to do other than be that thing.
when the others begged him not to go alone, he continues, unwillingly, an awful cycle. the green ninja defeats the dark lord. expecting one thing from him but getting mad when he performs those actions years later, as he was pretty much taught to do. there's a parallel here with morro, where they pushed themself so hard to be the green ninja, to prove themself to wu, only for wu to punish them for going too far. lloyd is similar to that, pushing himself to be The Savior and The Green Ninja with little thought of allowing himself to be a team member.
i told my friend that lloyd got his father's anger. they told me it wasn't the inherited anger that was there. it's the rage from the buildup, the inability to be himself, be angry, without him being Not a good green ninja, a good hero. heroes don't get angry. but all his rage culminated in this point, and he suffered for it.
harumi was the straw that broke the camel's back. all of that gifted kid syndrome and subsequent burnout finally broke down when one person proved his worst fears - that he would lose the destined battle. that he wouldn't fulfill the prophecy. the ONE THING needed from him, and he failed. his father doesn't love him. he can't be the green ninja.
if he isn't the green ninja, who is he? he doesn't know.
oh and as an added bonus. they also dropped this banger quote on me with No Warning:
harumi has made a home in her pain
228 notes · View notes
skelexguts · 6 months ago
Text
HEY. YOU,, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY COMFORT/FAVORITE CHARACTERS FOR A MOMENT,, ILL TAKE IT AS A YES!!!
Tumblr media
Bubba is such a good potential character in writing, honestly he’s like a “that one friend/dad friend who gives wise advice” vibes, I’ve this headcanon that bubba definitely a gifted kid that experience burnout from being pressured onto himself on unrealistic expectations and has a fear that he’ll be a failure.
Add more to this; Bubba probably experienced this due to stress and so much pressure onto himself and don’t want to be a failure to his friends not to mention that he’s a person pleaser which already causes him to not take care of himself.
Yet people overlook him as “ Mr-knows-it-all” like just let him educate his friends, as I headcanon that he has trouble with his emotions cause of bottling up his feelings because he doesn’t want his friends to see that he’s such a mess on the inside.
Adding more bc yes; the cause of bubba experience mental burnout is probably from his parents since in my headcanon that his parents put alot of pressure on him to try to help bubba to be becoming a doctor or a lawyer just like the rest of his family, which cause him to have unrealistic expectations onto himself and even when he did reach one of his goals, he felt like it’s not good enough and tries hard to the point, bubba gets tired both emotionally and physically.
But as it continues, with all the academic pressure and his high expectations get into his head, it causes him to ignore his well mentally being and not take care of himself such as his sleep and eating patterns and the lack of sleep, with this happening, his friends started to worrying about him especially Kickin, who sometimes help bubba getting out of his comfort zone by going out and hang out together just having fun also helping bubba to not overworked about his studies, but even with that, Bubba felt like he doesn’t have a purpose at the moment that cause more mental issues.
Another thing I’m going to add is Bubba has anxiety and bit of social issues due to gifted child syndrome as well as having insecurities about his intelligence and low self esteem also feeling emotionally numb inside as well as irritability and many more.
Last thing to finally finish to say; if the smiling critters was an actual cartoon, I imagine an episode that focuses on Bubba and how burn can affect on children especially those who are gifted, with bubba having a panic attack or even mental breakdown and let his emotions out in front of his friends, then the critters comfort him and tells them that he’s not a failure and tells and even educate him the importance of self care also told him that he need deserve a break as well give support and love in the end!!
It would be great concept for an episode to educate children or even everyone about burnout and gifted child syndrome and how to help and support them as well learning about mental health and how to improve in many different ways.
Well that’s it!! I hope y’all enjoy me rambling about bubba, he’s one of my favorite and comfort characters and I have to give him justice, he like a son to me fr!!!
Tumblr media
33 notes · View notes