#the gender IS fluiding but in a way not even i understand good lord

[bats4sophie]

When I like guys, I feel gay. Surely this means nothing

Mini ventish in the tags ig. if this is my problem it's yours too

[armageddidnt]

I just want to use this post to talk about how much I appreciate the way Good Omens does gender. Angels/demons canonically don’t have sexes and don’t subscribe to the concept of gender at all. Throughout the show, we see lots of angels and demons varying gender presentation and it’s considered perfectly normal. Even with all the rules angels/demons have to follow to avoid getting into trouble with their respective sides, there’s never been any rules whatsoever regarding gender. Angels and demons exist, they have names, they dress how they want, and whatever humans think is irrelevant. As someone who is non-binary and agender, it warms my heart to think of an existence where gender isn’t limiting at all. I’m really grateful to Neil and Terry for making a story about existing beyond gender that has had such widespread impact.

And regarding how they interact with humans, on the show we’ve seen a variety of pronouns but what I find interesting is the characters use only one at a time. Gabriel is always he, Beelzebub and Muriel are they, Shax is she, Aziraphale and Crowley are mostly he. And Neil said in an ask reply that any pronouns you use for angels/demons aren’t wrong because to do it right, you need to know the tongue of the angels. I guess it’s sort of my headcannon that when they talk about each other, angels/demons instinctively translate into whatever human pronoun they want to use. Like they could never misgender each other because human language is too limited anyway and they’re just using it as best they can. Idk I just really appreciate seeing a race of beings that innately understand each other’s gender/identity and have absolutely no concept of judgement about it.

Finally, please enjoy my favorite Good Omens screencaps of characters not giving a flying fig about human gender norms.

Our favorite gender-fluid/genderqueer demon

Angels having gendered and non-gendered names but only one clothing style: bureaucracy

Aziraphale rocking Madame Tracy’s dress

The Gender Ambiguity that is Lord Beelzebub

Whatever the heck Hastur is doing here

Mutt’s wonderfully delightful non-binary spouse

Pollution saying “no gender only garbage” (which is relatable honestly)

[tonydaddingham]

I am going to hazard a guess and predict that most queer viewers are going to side with Crowley in the divorce? The subtext here is usually that Crowley is a queer person who is comfortable in their identity while Aziraphale still doesn't let go of the church and internalized homophobia. And then asking Crowley to try to conform in a way that Crowley has never been comfortable with, implying that in order for this relationship to work you need to be something that you're not (especially potent bc Crowley in particular is explicitly nonbinary/ gender fluid)... its almost violating. That should clearly be asking too much of him and it only hurts worse to realize that Aziraphale doesn't realize that and doesn't truly accept Crowley as he is. Which is a fundamentally Queer Experience Thing.

okay again full disclosure i am not queer, so im only going to answer this to the best of my ability besties, if i don't write things right or deliberately misunderstand a nuance in this, please know im doing my best and anything that is upsetting or offensive please tell me, i am so not qualified to answer this... but nonnie has asked so i shall give it a go!!!✨💓 (cut bc length)

genuine question here: wouldn't, arguably, in this whole choosing sides thing, crowley vs aziraphale, be exactly what divides the queer community? those that could sympathise with aziraphale and his allegory vs those that could sympathise with crowley? this is a genuine question bc i would have thought depending on your (general you) guys' (nb) variety of experiences, good and bad, there are those that could see either side or both?

as for trying to make crowley conform - i'm not going to argue this per se, bc i realise that this must be a very painful concept or experience to go through, and i Will Not invalidate that. but on the other side of the argument, whilst i see and agree that this is how aziraphale could be interpreted generally in this argument, i didn't see it this way at all. not when taking into account aziraphale's whole demeanour in s2.

my understanding is that, as far as the canon has showed us, aziraphale knows very little about the true circumstances of crowley's fall (only that aziraphale warned him against asking questions), and even less about crowley's inner feelings on the matter. whenever aziraphale mentions it, or crowley having been an angel, crowley understandably responds aggressively and angry and obviously that it's still painful.

i don't think it's too far beyond reason for aziraphale to think that crowley - a good demon - might want to take a chance to have the wrong righted (as he sees it), to receive what aziraphale would consider a boon, an apology. whilst he's not in hell's clutches, crowley would have the chance to be free of hell completely. furthermore, it's a chance for them to be together, as friends or otherwise (obvs the metatron conversation is before crowley's confession), and to build the world they want - fair and honest and kind - together. because it's not as if crowley doesn't want that, but he just won't go anywhere near being an angel in order to do it - borne of fear yes but also resentment and bitterness... possibly even arrogance.

aziraphale does lord his angelic status over crowley especially in s1, and does hold a very black and white view over angels = good, demons = bad, but for the most part i think he has started to explore the possibility of grey more in s2. he starts to ease back on crowley and concentrate on making him feel wanted and loved (however that might look on Their Side), but still leaving him agency.

ive talked about aziraphale putting him on a pedestal and that is true, but the person on that pedestal, I don't think, is angel crowley - i don't think it's that simple. i think it's good demon crowley. and that good demon crowley would want to change the world, right?? well, he's got to be an angel to do it - even better!!!

so i didn't necessarily see it as aziraphale wanting to change crowley at all, but instead him thinking that based on what crowley has told him, of course crowley would want this!!! he deserves to be forgiven and restored, he's earnt it and he's a good person!!! but aziraphale unfortunately reneges on his emerging attempts to give crowley that agency, and instead decides for him. i don't think it was necessarily out of wanting to change crowley, but instead him not knowing the full story and therefore choosing a resolution for crowley out of love and respect... but one that crowley doesn't want.

these boys REFUSE to communicate and 👏 it 👏 shows👏✨

[voltronisanobsession]

Lance with a Genderfluid S/O who feels Insignificant

Ok!! so this was requested by @girlboypersonthingy , who wanted hcs with Lance and a gender-fluid/non-binary s/o who feels like he’s kinda pushing them aside/insignificant to him!

Ngl I had a little trouble writing this, so I hope i was able to execute this well!

You and Lance have built a really strong relationship with each other

Despite Lances’ initial confusion, he was quick to understand that you didn’t identify as one gender

He’s SOOO supportive of you like this boy would do anything to keep you feeling comfortable in your own skin

But it’s the little things he won’t truly understand, like how clothes never seemed to fit in the right places, or the weird feeling that would rise in you whenever you unknowingly compared yourself to another person

The latter seemed to happen more often though as the boy spoke with others around him

The flirty grins he’d send the girls he met, or the playful comments he would make that were different from the ones he would tell you

Was it just you or did it feel like you guys were growing apart?

It made you begin doubting if Lance even liked you in a romantic sense

Was it because you weren’t like the girls who would return his flirty grins with a sweet smile?

Were you just not good enough as you were? Did he have a preference for a specific gender?

Doubts and insecurities began gnawing in the back of your mind the longer Lance kept up his playboy act

Why didn’t he hold your hand? Was he afraid to be seen with you?

Should you were more feminine clothing? Even if there were days that you didn’t want to?

Lance began noticing the small changes in your appearance and mood though

The way you began wearing a little more makeup, the way you began curling in on yourself whenever there was a girl around

He grew suspicious of your behavior but decided not to say anything, thinking maybe it would pass

Wrong mistake buddy

I think he really starts noticing your changes when you start pulling away from his touch, avoiding him whenever he’s talking to someone or just in general

“Has y/n been acting weird? I feel like they’re acting weird. Are they acting weird?”

“Lance, if you think they’re acting weird, then why don’t you go ask them if somethings wrong??”

Lord someone save Pidge from this dude💔

He definitely drags her around, along with Hunk, trying to find clues on why you’re acting so differently now!

Finally after a couple of days of you avoiding him in the halls of the castle, he decides to just ask you what’s been bothering you

“Y/n hey! Um is something going on?”

“What uh, what do you mean?”

He would start listing all the stuff he’s noticed about you and this entire week, which makes you feel even more worse once you hear how obvious you had been

Lance is just so confused, bless his clueless soul

You would get frustrated and finally just spill it all out

It’s hard for you because it really does feel like your showing a part of your soul, it makes you feel vunerable

“I can’t be like those other girls Lance! I just feel like sometimes you would prefer if I were just a girl or just a boy, but I cant.”

It’s like the whole world stops for him because is this how you truly felt?

Did you really think that he didn’t want you, for you?

“I know I’m not the ideal partner, so if you want to find someone else who can-“

“WAIT WAIT WHAT NO!”

Seeing your eyes, Lance feels so bad for making you think that he didn’t want you and ugh he just feels terrible💔

“Why would you think I would want anyone besides you?!”

“W-well, the way you look at others made me… you know, think you wanted to be with someone else who could stick to one gender…”

Cue loud shattering effect cuz this dudes heart just BROKE

“No! No no aw man! I’m so sorry i made you feel that way! I know I can do that sometimes, habits die hard. But I promise you I don’t want anyone. Only you. Regardless of who you are and choose to be.”

After you both talk it out for a while, it still takes some time for you to feel fully secure in your relationship again

Lance does everything in his power to assure you that you’re the only he wants

When you’re feeling a certain way and want to be referred to a specific pronoun, he’s 100% supporting you no matter what

Fully believes that your gender, or uh lack of gender, doesn’t define your relationship

He’s so respectful of you and is always willing to talk to you whenever you’re feeling upset about yourself

Man he’s just so UGGHHHH💔💔💔💔

He’s so proud of you, and he makes sure to always reassure you about your guys’ relationship

I love Lance so much i can’t even💔

[booksandwords]

People From My Neighbourhood by Hiromi Kawakami. Translated by Ted Goossen

Read time: 1 Day Rating: 5/5 Stars

The Quote: "Of course there's music," Kanae's sister said cooly. "That's why they call it the Music House." "But what kind of music?" "It depends. Everyone hears different music. The music that rules their destiny. It's no joke — music really does determine your destiny you know." — Kanae's sister and The Narrator (The Elf)

Warnings: Bullying, animal abuse, abandonment (it's debatable)

Let's start by saying this is a perfect book for someone who commutes on public transport. The chapters are only three pages long and they are engaging but simple enough that if you read early in the morning or later in the afternoon it is followable. The stories appear to be written from primarily one perspective, an unnamed narrator, or at least that is how I perceive it. I do refer to the narrator using she/her pronouns even though we are never given a gender, I draw the gender from the author's gender alone. I think that in Japanese the gender would likely be infered by the language used, that doesn't translate to English.

Have some comments on some of the stories

I read Chicken Hell and had a moment. M*A*S*H fans will get the same reaction.

"Deep-fried buns are yummy." — It was with this line that I realised that the narrator doesn't know the impact the she has on others. (p.10, The Office)

The School Principal is entirely unexpected to me. It was the first time I picked up that time is kinda fluid. At least I think it is. I do not like Kanae. I'm not certain we're supposed to. She may have been the narrator's best friend but she was also a bully. (The Juvenile Delinquent)

Hachirō made me laugh even while the idea of The Hachirō Lottery makes me kinda sad, especially the neighbourhoods reaction to it,

The ongoing stories about Kanae's sister (starting in The Six-Person Flats) are fascinating. She is a lot of things, none of them normal. All of them, a little eerie but more accepted in Japanese culture than western. The interpretation of faith is different. She has some perhaps disturbing come bizarre moments, see The White Dove.

The Rivals feels like an allegory I don't understand. Yōko One and Two are representative of a message but what?

The English translation of the song the narrator hears in the Music House (The Elf) makes Saigō Teruhiko's Hoshino Flamenco/ 星のフラメンコ very difficult to find. It's rarely if ever called flamenco of the stars when performed by him.

The Buriers is an interesting concept. Asking the reader to decide what is a raw thing?

Uncle Red Shoes is a great inclusion. I will say it makes more sense once you see this. (Kawakami uses a technical term. Banana)

What a fantastic literal interpretation of Lord of the Flies.

🤨 is my only real reaction to Bass Fishing. Aside from WTF? I feel like we just jumped the shark.

Pigeonitis... I do like the side effects of it and Kiyoshi Akai's bitterness.

A Sport's Day without any physical activity is a unique proposition. But a good one. (I present to you chess)

"Her life is perfect" "Yeah. She even married a prince." "And made a pile of money." "And walked all over men, but they still followed her everywhere." "But isn't a princess supposed to be no bigger than your thumb?" "They say it's cos she got as big as a regular human being after her wedding that she and the prince broke up." "No way," Kanae's big sister put in. "You mustn't believe in fairy tales," — This is the narrator and Kanae talking about The Princess. I love this interpretation of what a princess is supposed to be. (p.73, Fruit)

Damn Dolly... Did not see that coming *insert any good for her gif here* (Fruit)

No discussing Eye Medicine because spoilers.

Baby is a lot to take in and I'm not certain I understand it. There is something there I know I am missing.

Sōkichi Nashida's story is sad. One of success, yet a feeling of emptiness leading to an ultimate feeling of unfulfilment. It is just really well written. One of the few that doesn't use the main narrator's point of view. (The Family Trade)

It was thanks to Kanae's big sister that we learned the shacks were actually 'emotion rooms'. She had put the question directly to her class teacher, and he had explained that, of the four shacks, the pale red one was 'the sadness shack', the pale green one was 'the anger shack', the white one was 'the hate shack', and the yellow one was the 'shack of joy'." — Briefly the shacks expand when someone who enters them is experiencing purely that emotion. I appreciate the colour alignments. Aside from yellow, they all feel different from the norm. I also just like the idea of them. They're cool. (p.114, The Shack)

The woman who runs the Love is the focus of two stories The Love and The Empress, the final story. I like her. She is an unexpectedly confident and self-assured woman. Her actions lead to unexpected but wonderful final lines.

I do recommend this to people. There may be something lost in the translation but not enough for it to be off-putting. There is a whimsical element to it that was unexpected coming in and as it goes on it gets more so. Everyone is connected and the characters thread through regardless of what is going on in the wider neighbourhood. Both The Secret and The Empress (the first and last stories respectively) are strong. They are kind of the two ends of the scale, as strange as The Secret may be (though I did enjoy it) it has nothing on The Empress. It is a little different for me, I have started looking for other books by Hiromi Kawakami, I like her style.

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon]

As if things couldn't get any worse.

The favored welcomed you into their clique with open arms.

While some-many- were the preening peacocks you expected, others-most- were a lot like you, in their own ways. Unique and free spirits who weren't afraid to hide who they were. Even if some were a bit shy and had been dragged into the limelight. There was a sense of shared protection and care as you were informed of how Fulgrim worked. And pity, for you were his favorite and due to your striking eyes would be for a long time. Before his gaze inevitably switched to someone else. Someone new.

It was good to have the heads up, as you found yourself modeling for your new peers and the Primarch himself. Dresses that felt unlike you. Clothes and settings you never imagined.

Those exhilarating strange red ropes.

Then Sanguinius got married.

The Picts brought back were gorgeous. A simple wedding with close family in attendance. The Primarch in a simple robe with his iridescent wings tucked behind his back. His lovely partner looking nervous under all the attention. A gender fluid member of the Blood. Chosen after a long selection process.

You looked up from the tablet to find Fulgrim eyeing you in that all consuming way of his. It was then, as your heart chilled and sank, that you realized the gravity of the change.

A Primarch had never married before.

Now, the floodgates were open.

You were the Primarchs favorite. Of course you were, you were shiny and new. But you did not want his attention. Give it- you raged into your art- to one of the flouncing peacocks who miss the Primarchs attention!

You called in favors. It was unexpectedly easy. The Primarchs favorite, wanting a model? They almost lined out the door! Your fellows caught on quickly too. What you were doing and why. For awhile you started a new movement. Artists painting artists.

But then you were being courted, and you never had time for the brush. Lavish dinners. The most beautiful gardens you had ever seen. Your own eyes staring back at you.

Your freedom, such as it was, ended at a picnic on a world you can't remember.

It was a freshly conquered paradise world, and in only a few weeks the Primarch had a garden built just for you. For this moment.

His hands, large as they were, were delicately braiding bright flowers into your hair.

The two of you were alone for the moment, his sons guarding far out of your line of sight.

"There," he sounded satisfied with himself. "I think you're ready."

Your heart had made a permanent home in a cold pit in your stomach. You looked up at him. Towering over you. Cradling your head in his hands.

"Ready for what?"

"For my proposal." He smiled that falsely friendly smile of his. It never reached his eyes. "Its perfect. The beautiful garden, a clear sky, my bride to be all rosy cheeked from wine and with bright flowers in her hair. You look delicate and young. Like a maiden from a fairy tale." And then that massive face was moving towards you. Your eyes widened and you tried to jerk from his grip.

His soft, plush lips pressed gently against your forehead. He pulled back, drinking in your terrified gaze with a cold smile. "You're perfect."

Your mouth was dry. Your neck ached from the position. "You know my answer, I wasn't hiding."

"Oh I do. And that's why we're here. Having this little chat."

His hands were around your waist. You were pulled into his lap. Massive arms wrapped around you. Your back to his stomach. No where to go.

"Perfection means everything to me my little muse. I'm... in a perpetual race with my brothers you could say. I'll not be the last to be married and I won't be the first to be snubbed."

You felt him lean over you. His grip tighten. You felt you were being crushed.

"Do you understand, my perfect muse?"

You nodded.

"I can't hear you..."

"Yes, my- my lord."

"Very good. Now, we will have to discuss your duties as my wife. Later, after the proposal."

"Do you wish me to bear a child?" You blurted.

The Primarch was physically taken aback. He stared down at you, and you stared up at him.

And then, he smiled. It touched his eyes this time. "Of course, if it is possible. If not, we shall find another means of producing children. I don't wish to lose you in the hopes of building something greater."

Somehow, you doubted that.

But, a child. It would wreck your body but..

but...

it would be shiny and new. More his child than any of the Astartes "sons" made with his dna.

It would take his attention away from you.

"I accept."

The Primarch stared at you. Dark and calculating. And then another fake smile.

"Good. Come. I'll show you where the remembrancers are waiting."

-----

(goddess Anon)

Wayment. Wayment, hold up.

Sanguinius. Sanguinius. Baby gurl.

Who are you marrying that's not me?!

[incurablyromanticsblog]

Don't know how people are gonna feel about this but Loki should've been dealt with the way they dealt with Lucifer (from the Netflix show) I mean while the show straight up dismissed loki's feelings, lucifer netflix really showed us the natural and organic character growth with ups and downs while still maintaining the comic hilarity (WHICH WASNT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE MC). It's love interest and side characters are all original characters dealt as independent characters rather as brownie or plot points.

And the scenes that prompted me to think this?

1. Lucifer asking his Mazikeen to cut off his wings because he's moved past being a pawn in his father's 'Great Plan'. We could've had loki come to this conclusion and tell Mobius (who would've been an actual all out ally who was forced into doin lg what he did) that he no longer wanted any place in a land that hated him. (Once again like Lucifer calling the silver city hell)

2. Lucifer actually being the way he's supposed to be (angel of light, light bringer etc.) We could've had Loki act like the way he Actually Is. Not like how @iamnmbr3 so eloquently put it 'like larry the dumb lookalike'. We could've had Loki being stern yet having that air of sarcasm and wit that he had in his the films. His eloquence, his physical prowess (none of the falling flat on his face stuff, a lot of people talk about how he was trying not to hurt the people in ep 2 but srsly Loki would just immediately disarm them), and most of all his agency and refusal to cower or the pathetic attempts at lying.

3. Costumes. The lucifer netflix team had an extensive costume department that ironically pales in comparison to what disney is capable of but still we see Lucifer have a wide array of clothes and styles. Have Loki take the first chance to change his clothes. If he wants the 50s aesthetic have at it! he can wear the tuxedos and the nice leather. Or maybe change into some nice Viking-inspired leathers and battle armor. Have him as a pirate, or a knight or a cowboy. You're traveling through time good man! you can at least hit some of the cool spots.

4. In depth analysis of lucifer's mental health. the only episode of the Loki tv show I liked (loose term) is the first one cause it's the only one that gave a fraction of what we were promised: an insight into loki. That's it.

5. Lucifer's organic growth. This is self-explanatory. Loki watched one video and was good. Very good five stars. I understand that they only had six episodes but come-on. You could've had the subtle changes through out all the eps and lead to the big finish finally. With each episode focusing on certain aspects of Loki.

5. Lucifer's exploration of self-loathing. This deserves to be a separate point because Istg it was done so well. Basically lucifer messes up and he's faced with the hatred that's been conditioned into him (not unlike Loki) and then he learns what it is and actually tries to love himself. And not by kissing a female variant of himself (ew and also respect the gender fluid persons). He actually saw the good in him by reflecting and his actual good friends helping him.

6. Lucifer actually wanting to be good. Look Idc what shut mike waldron wrote, loki is not selfish when his whole arc has been doing things for asgard, thor, odin, frigga etc. We all know that New York was mind control, I do not know why it's being swept under the rug. But here's the thing, that self loathing I mentioned earlier is a huge part of Loki thinking he's some monster and intent on proving it.

7. Lucifer facing his 'devil-face'. Loki should've come to terms with his Jotun heritage. The TVA could've had a case in Jotunheim concerning the Royal Family and Loki could've seen the entirety of Jotunheim and it's people not just that most-likely war propaganda the Asgardians force-fed him. Maybe have him meet his siblings or better yet his mother. There's a very nice fic on A03 called Asgardian Galdr that deals with this beautifully.

8. Luicfer having a Breakdown and Crying: First off this happens gradually, his problems pile up etc etc. and he faces off his father and gets angry until he finally breaks down. And basically God says, "I'm sorry but i can't fix you," And Lucifer in all his grief and desperation asks, "But you're God,'. I know we talk a lot about Loki being made weak in the Show but that's specifically about him being made weak and helpless to make Sylvie seem like a stronger character (Don't get me started on the Sif and Narcissm scene istfg), But maybe seeing Loki try awkwardly to be good and near the finish of the show we see it blow up in some angsty way? only for some conversation like this to happen and have Loki understand that being good is something that is innate and something he already had the potential for all along. Maybe learn that he's not lawful good but as always the morally grey character we know him as. (Protector of misfits, god of outcasts i.e all the shit Marvel shat on) and rise as the God of Chaos and Stories against the rigid bonds of The TVA and essentially Kang.

9. Lucifer having a nice healthy romantic interest and relationship. Lucifer and Chloe's relationship is more often than not the main point of the show but no matter how much it is focused on it remains health, organic and not a weird allegory for something disgusting. Even if Sylvie weren't a Loki (once again ew) the whole dynamic was toxic. She constantly put him down, and invalidated his feelings (Sounds like Odin huh?) and guess what Loki fell in love with her after one day, one conversation of what love was and Mobius calling her his girlfriend (he also said that it was freakish and i agree). We could've had Sigyn sweet lord. (I'll make another post about this)

10. Lucifer's Sexuality. There is a whole episode in which Loki's paramours are getting murdered and they all vary from men to women to all that comes in between. And there's no shame, no offensive jokes. Have Loki flirt with dudes, i understand ms.karen that this is for children, don't worry the casual sex ;) was offscreen. Have Loki turn into a woman and flirt with woman cowards, maybe make some questionable remarks about horses (That make Sigyn laugh)

11. Lucifer's Powers: lemme sum up, Lucifer can, let's call it, use compulsion on people. He is known for his strength and prowess and abilites to grant favors. Have Loki shapeshift into animals, absolutely mauling people. Have him use his silver-tongue to coax people into making or changing history (Yes Brutus, Caesar is getting to be a bit much, say have you heard how sharp knives are?)

I'm pretty sure there's more that i can't remember rn. And here is one thing i would like to make very clear.

You are not bad for liking the show or hating it whatever. The problem is that the show framed a lot of bad things as good (Anything the TVA did, Mobius' torture session with Loki, the way Sylvie treated Loki only for them to become romantic partners, the Sylkie fiasco as it was offensive to genderfluid people and the bare fucking minimum of LGBTQ and POC rep). The show was also marketed specifically to make us think hey! Loki might actually be the main character only for it to blow up in our faces. We were also promised an actual plot rather than a constantly plot twisting concept that could've been worth something.

Also i'm still working on a Loki fic rn after which i will write a Loki(TV) Rewrite but unitil then ig.

[theyanderespecialist]

Body For Rent? (One Shot) Don X Mark OC (Your Boyfriend) (Yandere)

[Hello My Sexy Readers and welcome back to another one shot this another Your boyfriend one, with Mark as a sissy paying for rent with Romance? Who knows how this will end anyways I hope you all enjoy!]

(Mark's POV)

Don is over and I was on the phone with Lucy begging her to come back with her part of the rent. She said she would when she got to it. I knew that means never. Oh I wanted to smash my phone! But that would cost me more money so instead I look at Don. He was fixing a light bulb and how could I tell him not only could Lucy not pay her half but neither could I? My grandma had to have surgery and helping pay for the after car I had no extra money not to mention the dinner won't give me any extra hours and I already have to jobs. God what do I do?!?

But it's probably best to just tell him. So I take a deep breath as I walk over.

"U-Uh..Don..?"

"Yeah kid?"

"....uh I..I need to talk to you it's important.."

"I'm all ears." He said as he was still fixing the bulb.

"Well...Lucy hasn't paid her half of the rent for like six months, and I'm running out of money..I'm short about 100 dollars..I'm wondering, should I give you some of my jewelry or furniture so that it's not a total loss or do I move out? I can be packed next week.."

He looked down at me and stepped off the ladder. "Mark I cannot take anything from you. I care to much to do that but I can't throw you out either. You said I am a dilf right? Well do you really want to fuck me? Like giving a chance would you?" He asks

I blinked. I don't understand why he was asking that..he said he wouldn't bring up that embarrassing moment again..

"U-Uh..I don't know why you're asking..." I said softly as I looked down. "B-But..I-I mean yeah I-I would..you're a sweet guy.."

He falter a bit. Then took a deep breath. "It is hard getting back in the dating game and a man grows lonely. Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" He asks and I stare. "I will wave your rent for the month."

I stared at him was he asking if I would have sex as rent payment!? Then I thought of my grandmother I could take next weekend off and go see her with the money I have.

"Yes okay." I say and he nodded picking up the latter.

Oh shit what did I get myself into?

-Time Skip-

I sat down as I expected to come in and get fucked..but I was instead treated to a lovely dinner.

"Sorry I uh- I normally only cooked when my kids were hungry and everything, I'm not a house husband." He gave an awkward laugh.

Then after he did dishes we went to the bedroom he helps me into bed then climbs in as well turn off the lights and- spooned me? I looked at him and he almost fell asleep instantly? I grab a pillow and hit him.

"I'm awake!" He says half asleep.

"You fell asleep on me..." I whisper.

"Well that is the point how else are we supposed to sleep together." He says

Then it hit me he did not want sex... but why?

I looked away .was..I not attractive? Was I too feminine? Did he just not want sex?

(Timeskip)

Over the last two weeks I've phased out of wearing my feminine clothes, and wore masculine clothes as Don looked over at.me.

"Okay Mark, whats with the change in style?" He asked as I stood up.."well why won't you have sex with me Don?! You haven't done anything that shows you're even romantically attracted much less sexually attracted to me!" I snapped as I go to the room. I really liked don. These last two weeks confirmed it but it hurt...knowing he wasn't into me like that.

He probably saw me as some stupid kid..

I hear a knock on my door. "I am not having sex with you because your not an object! You are a person a beautiful sexy person! And I want you to want to be with me! Not use your rent as an excuse to be with you! Damnit I am in love with you Mar!" I hear him say through the door

I stopped at that. I was shocked..beyond shocked. I walked over to the door as I opened it.

"....you're not messing with me?" I asked. "No! God damn it kid, you think this is the first time.you been late on rent, if I didn't care I'd et you and that fucking dead beat figure it out on your own on the street--" I cut him off as I jumped at him as he has to catch me as I kiss his face before hesitating and kissing his lips.

He gasped but then smiled and kissed me. He walked me into my room and closes and locks my bedroom door. Then pulls away as we both pant.

"Your mind now~" He says possessively and throws me on the bed stripping his belt and tying my hands to the bed. Ass in air and him ripping down my jeans.

)Marie Has unleashed the beast XD)

I did not get time to think as he spread my cheeks spits on my anus and starts to eat my ass it. I gasped and moaned and leaned into him taking more of his tongue~ Oh god I never done this before and lord it is gooood~~~

(Don's POV)

(Don has the green light XD)

I looked down at Mark as he was seemingly already in heaven, like this was his first time getting such treatment.

I didn't think Mark had wanted me in that way but now that I know, now that I'm certain- I'm going to have him as mine. He would make a wonderful new wife and stepmom to my boys.

I shove my tongue on the way in and start tongue fucking his cute boy pussy I think the kids would call it

(hah the boy pussy I mean he isn't wrong)

(XD)

I could see him grabbing and releasing the pillow as his cock twitched, I already knew these sheets would have to be cleaned, but knowing we were the ones to mess them up so much~

I think his ass is ready and I look at him, "Front or back?" I ask.

"huh?" He asks.

"Do you want to be on your front or back?" I ask. "I want our first time special."

"I don't..."

"Just which is your favorite?"

"I-- uh that's the thing Mr.Williams uh...I've never had sex..you took my first kiss.."

I smile and kiss him flipping him onto his back and line up and kiss his chest.

"I love you.." I muttered as I remove that stupid shirt.

"I loved the way you dressed..because you liked it."

(Thank you, it's more so he loves seeing mark comfortable. I'm normally uncomfortable in men clothing unless I'm feeling more masculine, so that's why mark is like that. It's not a trans fetish, I could care less about your gender. I just have issues with my body. And those are my issues and so they are on mark as well.)

(Yes cause my co author is gender fluid and mark is her if she was a man and cross dresses for comfort not to sexalize the transgenders or anything like that)

"Really?" He asks.

"Yes you always seemed more happy and comfortable in female clothes, what ever makes you happy makes me happy"

(like I fuck in crossdressing cause I'm comfortable.)

He looked at me as he then gave a smiled.

"Aw isn't that sweet. Mr.Williams loves me." He said as I look at him. Was he mocking.me?

(Yeah! Power to my co author!)

She smiles and plays with my hand. "Have I been a bad tennat Mr. Williams? If I have you better fuck the bad out of me~"

I blush she is role playing.

And like I said before. I wasn't interested in fucking her to give her a place to stay....

Bit role play, that's a whole different story.

"You've been real bad, but I'll let it slide-Just be a good girl for me~" I purr as she smirked and was about to say something...until I thrust into her as her voice got caught in her throat, turning into more of a desperate whimper.

I smirked and and started to thrust in and out of her feeling her clench on my cock.

"No so tight~" I moan. "You need to relax baby~"

She let out a moan as she was already drooling. "I-I'm trying! I-I'm as relaxed as I can be!~" she cried out as her legs wrapped around my hips.

"Oh your just that tight you naughty thing~" I say with smirked.

She moaned as she thrust back onto my cock.

"I don't hear you complaining~" she moaned out as I could.hear the wet slap of our skin.

I was not I loved him and I could not wait to stretch his pussy out then to let it tighten again~ I love him so much. I pull him back into a kiss, not even caring that they slipped out of my belt and were running his nails across my back. I loved it and could tell she was close as I start to hit her gspot and she cums hard on my cock moaning loudly. I came inside of her as well as I collapse on her as she smiled. "I love you.."

I smile and kiss her deeply. I love her so so much and she is mine.

[thirdhandidiot]

HELLO LGBTs

DONT YOU THINK ITS TIME FOR A REVOLUTION?

NONE OF THE OBEY ME CHARACTERS ARE CIS BECAUSE I SAID SO, ITS TIME WE START PROJECTING ONTO THEM

•i want to see non binary Satan who couldn’t understand why talking to people was making them angry and started lashing out for seemingly no reason, having to go to Lucifer in a fit of angry tears, desperate for help because it hurts so much, why does it hurt?

•I want to see Beel, who passed so easily, worried his twin would grow to despise him because he never had the same ease transitioning socially, getting called the girly one of the two, always being smaller, weaker next to Beel, and Beel hates it so much, he feels guilty

•I want to see Miku Binder Levi projecting onto fictional characters to avoid thinking about his own problems, wearing baggy clothes and locking himself away, jealous of the other brothers, scared of rejection

•I want gender fluid Asmo, proud of their ability to seemlessly shift between presentations, calling mammon in tears, begging him to come pick her up from this guys house because he’s yelling slurs at asmo, who is sobbing please don’t call me that and they won’t stop

•I want to see the great mammon, who is so confident one day, but the next can’t stand the sight of his body, especially when he shifts and you can see his scars, barley hidden by his jacket, who always feels like his screams are just a little bit too high pitched

•Lucifer, so proud, hurt by memories of before, presenting hyper masc at times, afraid to show any emotions because even though he knows it’s not true, he can’t help but think people will see his as more feminine, and he can’t do that, not again

•I want Belphie, who pretends it doesn’t bother them. ‘Why should I care what some lesser demon thinks of me?’ but is kept awake at night, when everyone else is asleep, no one to help as they spiral in insecurities, their voice echoing in their head, the cruel words twisting, stabbing–

•Lord diavolo, whose parents had been so relieved because ‘that means you can be king– we were so disappointed when you were born female’ and it never sat right with him, even though he’d been lucky enough to transition young

•Maybe even Luke, who only Simeon knows is trans, getting upset when he’s called chihuahua because my voice isn’t that high, is it? But determined to stay closeted and so never being able to tell them why they should stop, and he’s not that small, he’s an average height for boys his age he’s checked, so many times

–But I also want to see sleepovers between the brothers (they agreed it was simpler to keep calling themselves that and that it was better than letting Mammon or Levi pick a new name) where they, just for one night, put aside the bickering and tormenting eachother just to make sure the others are ok, because they all know that they’re struggling in their own ways, and for one night they all sleep in the living room, eating food, watching comfort movies and following whatever self care routine it is that asmo is on currently, everyone gets a face mask, no you can’t opt out lucifer, you’re working too hard again, you’ll get wrinkles and that just won’t do, let us take care of you– and Levi! When was the last time you washed your hair?! That won’t do, come with me, let me do it for you I have these amazing bath salts I just know you’ll love

–I want Diavolo, helping them all transition as quickly and as secretively as possible after he finds out. He wants to be there for them, ever since that night lucifer came out to him, sobbing, pride forgotten because he doesn’t want to be that person anymore. He can’t, he spent too long living that lie for his father, he just wants to be free. Simeon telling him he’s changed and being so proud of him, you look so much more relaxed. Diavolo being so happy to know that lucifer is happier because he struggles to talk about it because Lucifer still believes he‘s wrong or broken in someway, pride too much to overcome, but when it’s just him and diavolo, sometimes he can talk about it, lift a weight off his chest

–I want to see them big eachother up in the way that only siblings can, oi that jacket looks good on ya, can I steal it? I’m gonna get junk food because I deserve it, what do you want? I want them to support eachother on bad days, just silently making them tea when they’ve started into space just a little too long, ruffling their hair on the way out. I want a deal between them to let the others know if something is showing in public, whilst in the house being comfortable enough and trusting eachother enough not to judge because really, they’re all in the same boat here

I can’t be the only one here guys. C’mon. Let make this happen. Tag me. ANYTHING YOU POST I want to see it, I want to see your vent art, I want to hurt with you as you project your troubles, just so that your not alone. @7fckingidiots made a Post Abt the Brothers amd it was my final snapping point, Ive got so many little sketches of Satan, they’ve become my muse for any practice drawings, amd I wanted to say something before but yea, check out their post guys I’ll try Link it. But I mean it, tag me, I want to reblog everything you do, make our own supportive family

[sidecarghost]

My Reaction to Destiel in Spn 15x18 to 15x20

Notes: this will contain spoilers for up to series finale 15x20.

I am in LGBTQ+, and this is my personal opinion on the treatment of Destiel, Dean, and Castiel in episodes 15x18-15x20. The LGBTQ+ community is complex and varied, just like any community, so I do not intend for my views to be seen as representative. I think any reaction is just as valid as mine.

Castiel’s Declaration and Dean’s Response

I personally thought Misha Collins’ performance of Castiel’s declaration of love was earnest and authentic. It was beautiful, and I loved every word of it. What bothered me about 15x18 was Dean not reciprocating. I understand that love doesn’t always work out, but this is a LGBTQ+ relationship. There are so few LGBTQ+ relationships on tv, so it’s difficult to understand why anyone would see the need to add an unfulfilled LGBTQ+ relationship that leaves the queer character unloved. LGBTQ+ are just as worthy to be loved as cishet. Before this viewers could use their imagination, but now it’s pretty final that Dean never thought of Cas as more than a friend, and that Dean is vaguely to deeply disturbed by his BFF being in love with him.

I think 15x20 tried to firmly establish Dean as cishet (retconning any prior subtextual queer coding) by having Dean show more affection to his car joining him in Heaven then he had to his LGBTQ+ friend near death. I hate that Dean is so cold to Cas during that declaration scene, and then no other insight into Dean’s feelings is ever shown. So we can only infer Dean’s feelings from that scene and the reaction reads confused, disturbed, shocked, and disbelieving. And I feel second hand crushed for Castiel. That would not be a happy moment for me at all. Just because Dean doesn’t feel any attraction to Castiel I don’t think that excuses his coldness during the declaration. This was a heartless way to react to a close queer friends admittance to an attraction, and the cold shoulder reaction seems really OOC for Dean.

Dean is typically much more sensitive about other people’s feelings. I know he is often painted as tough and unfeeling, but that’s really when his own feelings are in question. Usually he seems very in tune when someone else needs emotional support, and here he is just like mentally checking out. Dean appears to be thinking “Oh my BFF is confessing his love, I will just gawk at him like he is some kind of crazy.” Then Dean’s last words to Castiel are “Don’t do this, Cas,” because he’d like his final message to be invalidating. And then there is HUGE problem that Dean was so disturbed by Cas’s declaration that he never mentions it over the course of 15x19 and 15x20. Even though his friend gave his life for him.

Bad Representation more Harmful than No Representtion

I could be wrong, but I feel like the inclusion of Destiel this late in the game just to make it unrequited was malicious. And that’s because Destiel is a big thing for fandom and especially LGBTQ+ in fandom. Even non-Spn fandom LGBTQ+ know all about Destiel. I never dreamed the ship would go canon, and that was fine because the show could play out and I could read and write fic. Destiel was a fun ship, because the characters had wonderful development from the show, and the actors had great chemistry and were good looking and talented. Dean and Cas were complex and multi-dimensional and ready to run a coffeehouse or become pop star wannabes in a televised singing contest.

The show never told fans Dean and Cas wouldn’t love each other, so it was so easy for me to imagine they would love each other. That has changed since I watched the finale. I personally can’t ship Destiel anymore because all I remember now is the angel giving the hunter his heart, and Dean being so cold and uncaring. Dean stays so far away from Cas like he can’t stand to be close to him. When the two characters used to be in each other’s personal space all the time. It’s like the show wanted me to know how wrong I was to ever read a romance there. As though I had personally offended Dean Winchester. I always thought Dean could be bi, but now he is canon cishet to me. Because if he was going to be attracted to a guy it’d be Cas, because he is the most badass character on show. I’m okay with explanation that Dean was shell shocked in 15x18, but Dean’s continued indifference in 15x20 makes it more likely to me that the show intended for Dean to just not feel that way about Cas.

LGBTQ+ Character Erased

The show ended 10 days ago, but many LGBTQ+ spn fandom members are still reeling from Castiel’s erasure from the story as soon as he came out. There was so much hope that the show was giving LGBTQ+ fandom a ship they never expected in 15x18. The way everything seemed to signal that Dean and Cas would be brought back together in 15x20. And theories abounded on possible scenarios. My personal favorite was Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty in 15x20 as a reverse of Castiel rescuing Dean from Hell in 4x01. This felt historic to see an actual fandom mlm ship finally get validated on the show, like LGBTQ+ were being seen and told we were just as valid as cishet by the show we loved.

But in the end, the LGBTQ+ relationship was just a tease. A queer angel declared his love and died. Then Dean died so he’d never get chance to process his feelings (if he had any). Dean and the viewers learned Cas had been saved, but Dean never bothered to pray to Cas or make any other attempt to reconnect with him. Had Cas escaped before Dean’s death? Had Cas just let Dean die? We never find out. Whether intentional or not, Castiel no longer had any significance in the life or death of the man he loved so strongly. If you related to Cas the exemption was a gut punch. I saw Cas as important and he was my voice and my story, and then 15x20 had Castiel as unimportant to the story and he was silenced.

The Bury your Gay trope

Cas had come out, and now his last scene was his death. Castiel was written out of the show, and no one seemed willing to give him more than a passing thought. The series regular and reoccurring character of 12 years was treated like he was never very important to Dean or Sam. This wasn’t historic, this is the “bury your gay” trope and a real problem for LGBTQ+ representation in movies and shows.

Negative impact of teasing LGBTQ+ romance in movies and shows

15x18 didn’t just feature Cas coming out, his coming out could have been handled just like Chuck’s in season 11 by dialogue stating he liked guys too. Castiel’s coming out was part of a declaration of love to his best friend. This teased a possible LGBTQ+ romance between two male leads with no intention of follow through. Heteronormative fans can state my perspective was invalid, but I’d like to challenge them to see LGBTQ+ as just as valid and normal as cishet romance.

If unintentional:

this was insensitive and bad representation

If intentional:

at best queer baiting (Dean was cishet so any fans that thought reciprocation was possible were wrong. Never mind all the subtextual queer coding of Dean that non-heteronormative viewers had observed.)

at worst outright homophobia (if you read Dean as a closeted bisexual that is fridged before he has chance to come out)

The Intention of C* Spn?

I have to wonder what the LGBTQ+ in Spn fandom ever did to make the show runners so mad at us. I would really like to get the perspective of the show runners, because without that, it is just too easy to believe the worst.

Perceiving the Finale Message of We don’t Belong

And the worst is heart wrenching. The marginalized members of fandom that related to the outcast angel were excluded from the Winchester’s ending. Even though we cared about them so much over the years. Many members of fandom had found families, and were validated by the reoccurring theme that family doesn’t end in blood.

But the finale retconned that message. Castiel was queer, and he was erased. He wasn’t a part of Sam and Dean’s ending. Fandom that related to Castiel could see our affection for the brothers wasn’t reciprocated. We just helped when we were useful but in the end unworthy of love. Family actually did end in blood, and we were naive for believing otherwise.

Spn queer baited LGBTQ+ one last time to drive up viewership, so the marginalized part of the audience could bear witness to Castiel’s exclusion from the Winchester’s finale. We never belonged. This wasn’t our story. This was the story of cishet white brothers, Sam and Dean, that were the product of their cishet white parents, John and Mary, that lived up the road in their Heaven. The queer angel of the lord was not going to intrude in their story any longer, despite his devotion to them over the past 12 years. We didn’t belong, because Castiel didn’t belong.

Other Views are Valid

I just want to reiterate that everything I’m saying is just my own opinion. If other LGBTQ+ thought the episodes were perfect that is also very valid. If you are not a LGBTQ+ then I appreciate your support, and ask that you check any biases before disagreeing with my opinion. Cishet will never be made to feel marginalized, inferior, or abnormal because of their sexuality or gender. And if you want to save LGBTQ+ lives you can try to change your view to see queer as normal and become a LGBTQ+ ally.

TLDR;

Misha’s performance was amazing. Bobo Beren’s writing was brilliant. After 15x18, the romance was like a puzzle that had all the pieces carefully together except the last one. Then 15x20 took that beautiful, nearly complete puzzle and dumped it in a metal trash bin, soaked it in lighter fluid, and burned it to ash. I blame the showrunners. They should never have had a LGBTQ+ come out to have his love unrequited, die, and then get erased from the story. Bad representation is worse than no representation.

[avatarhanami]

I'm excited for the comic to come out and look forward to it. I'm just torn about some of the characters, because I've been in the livestreams of the director of the team. While representation is always good I feel like some of the identities and sexualities that are common today don't make sense for a story set in a time period where hunter-gatherer societies, someone who's a genderfluid pansexual would be on the chopping block as soon as they're open about it. (cont)

Hi there! This got very long, so to condense it on the dash, I added a read more. 

I understand where you are coming from, and I am entirely open to what you’re saying. I also do want to say, that sexual orientation and gender roles were fluid in many cultures in the past. While it wasn’t normalized in every culture, obviously, I do want to state that it wasn’t as uncommon in the past than it was in the future, especially in different indigenous groups throughout the world and history. 

The terms we use for characters, since you specifically point out gender-fluidity, I will be primarily referring to Da Xia since I believe that is the character that is being referred to, that the term “gender-fluid” is what we refer to them as, though the term will not be used specifically in the comic. Da Xia is in a sense non-binary, though the way they interpret themselves is closer to the term gender-fluid. 

I also want to specify, that the Avatar World is completely fictional and is not specifically based on China. There are numerous amounts of cultures that play into the world and bring a nuanced and diverse population. And it is canon that many cultures in the Avatar world (specifically the Air Nomads, Water Tribe, and before Sozin became Fire Lord it isn’t specified what the Fire Nation stood before that point) was supportive of LGBT+ characters and had their own stances on it. 

Since this is 9,700 years ago, there are MULTIPLE cultures in our story, and we have both suppressive and conservative groups who are not supportive of LGBT+ people, some who are supportive (like the Air Nomads), and some who mind their own business and don’t really pay attention to it because it doesn’t affect them.

And while I can understand that in real world history, it’s heavily elaborated on, especially in Western culture, on how many were against LGBT+ people in ancient history but that wasn’t always the case, even in China. Ancient history is such a broad timeframe and you can’t cluster one specific time period of people hating LGBT+ individuals when societies changed constantly throughout ancient history. It wasn’t black or white as many understand it today.

But again, our story is set in a fantasy world that implies LGBT+ people were supported in a few cultures. Obviously real world history has discriminated against LGBT+ people heavily. However, we are trying to bring more representation to LGBT+ communities and again, this is a fantasy setting. This is based on real cultures in the world, but there aren’t specifications for this particular timeline in Avatar canon.

Considering our entire team is made up of LGBT+ women, we are trying vocalize what we care about, but also bring our characters to life. We have spoken heavily on the LGBT+ representation in our story because we want people to know that they deserve a voice in mainstream media that our story is based on.

I want to remark and remind that our characters are not defined by their sexualities or gender identities. Our characters like the rest of us are human. We are trying bring more representation to the platform but I know in one of the livestreams I was asked about character sexualities and any time I speak on sexualities it can be blown up more than it should.

At the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter on the sexualities or the gender identities because it is a fictional story that is based in a fictional world. We talk a lot about LGBT+ because people ask and we want to be straightforward with our fans and our supporters with what we’re trying to portray. As a historical studies major, I’ve made an effort to look into the history of gender roles and identities throughout ancient history, so many of these decisions I’ve made for the characters is based on my real studies.

The sexualities of the characters are not specified other than two of them, being Da Xia (who is non-binary/gender-fluid and Kenai who is bisexual but is questioning throughout the story). When I went on the most recent livestream, I spoke on what possible sexualities some of the other characters could be. I am aware of how very specific regions of ancient history, like places in Asia and other places across the world were heavily against LGBT+ people, however, our story is fictional and we have both supportive and discriminating cultures that do not agree at all with LGBT+ people. 

I understand that us speaking heavily on the LGBT+ representation can give the assumption that ALL of our characters are LGBT+, but that isn’t the case. We’ve been called out for being too heteronormative and also incorporating too much LGBT+ representation as well. At the end of the day, it is a fan fiction, and if you don’t like our content and what we are trying to bring to the table, it is completely understandable, but I would say this may not be the comic for you. 

(I’d like to quickly point out, that since the Han Dynasty was referenced, one of the most famous emperor’s of that dynasty was gay.) 

- Kyla, Project Lead

[datodinicshit]

Saturday July 11th 2020

Devotee Challenge: Loki

How do you perceive Loki?

For the majority of the past six years I have perceived Loki mainly through emotional feedback and colors and very very rarely in dreams. I've always jived with the lanky redhead aspect that many see in the art that floats around in the Lokean circles. But I have also seen Loki as this aspect that is very much an "on the road" Trickster Face, with a heavily Lord of the Rings' Strider look to Them, but with brown skin, eyes like molten gold, and a broad sturdy build. I met that aspect in astral once and was absolutely delighted to, because it was one of about 5 singular meetings where I could actually see and identify Loki.

It wasn't until this year that I fully grasped why I could barely "hear" or "see" Loki.

I work closely with an aspect of Loki who is nonverbal or mute at times, and visually impaired or blind at times, and sometimes both.

So much of my past dealings with Loki and my perceptions of Loki have been filtered through emotional senses, and with an understanding that "Loki is quiet." Early on, this used to worry me. I would worry that Loki was hurt or exhausted or in need of a safe space to just rest. And so that is what I build a relationship on. I offered everything I wanted from Loki: safety, home, love, protection, laughter, somewhere to belong, family and acceptance.

So. I believe I get Bound Loki the most. Bound Loki or "Older Loki" or "been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, founded the support group and now I need retirement funds, Loki."

That's not the only side of Loki I get, but it's who I consider "home base."

That's how I perceive Loki when He's not a Xe or Them or Fox. Because I also perceived Loki as genderqueer and gender-fluid and non humanoid at times as well. Loki is after all a shape-shifting trickster and don't need no stinking gender or body rules, so put a star next to that or something.

Methods of Communication:

Best for me: tarot, dreams, empathy, synchronized signs, music, trance.

Loki prefers: I'm still working on this with Loki. It's been brought to my attention since discovering Loki is nonverbal / visually impaired at times that They want to work on communication more with me.

Historical: Runes. Universal methods? Prayer in general?

Is Loki often compared to other deities from different pantheons or cultures?

Yes. Loki is a trickster. They're compared and contrasted with or against other tricksters. Even, and this bugs me, with the Christian Devil or Satan. Loki is held up against beings such as other Trickster Spirits like certain Native American tribes' Coyote or Spider. And other pagan gods like: Hermes, Set, Mercury, and Manannán.

And the Chinese historical hero the Monkey King. And the Japanese god Susanoo. Just. You get the picture.

What kind of relationship do you want with Loki?

I want the relationship I've got with Them. One built on love and trust and companionship and the understanding that has blossomed from 6 + years of steady unwavering presence, even in times of silence and pain.

I want what I've got. I want what's good for us both. I want to never ever let Loki go. I want to grow with Them, alongside Them, closer to Them.

That's what I want. At least presently. There's always room for more.

Are we platonic?

We were. For years. We aren't anymore. As of about May/June of this year.

Do I worship them? Yes. Loki is 1/3 of my inner familial circle of gods. And Loki is the central pillar and the foundation of my faith. Loki is the blood of my spirituality and lives in the heart of it. He has an altar, though has always said it wasn't needed. (I buy Loki shit and They haven't minded in the past 6 years, so I see fit to keep it up.) The altar may not be needed but Loki appreciates the care.

How does your relationship affect your everyday life?

Loki keeps me sane. Loki is a constant in my daily life and has been since I came to Them. They're present everywhere I can shove pieces of Them. I wear and make jewelry that reminds me of Loki. I decorate my room with artwork that makes me think of Them. (Odin has also taken over Decor.) The media I love to consume. The blogs I've kept for years. The friends I've made and treasured. Loki is everywhere. And I wouldn't have Them any other way. Loki is integrated and rooted deeply in the garden that is Me. I prefer it that way. Loki is my comfort and safety. Loki is home.

What are Loki's interests outside of canon/lore?

Spongecake. They like it. *snorts* I had to. Sorry not sorry.

Well, I'd like to talk about the Super Soft shit we enjoy together. Loki is a bigger cuddler than I think they get credit for. Like, our naps? Hugs? Sharing blankets and curling up together? Fuck yeah.

Now, you must consider I work/live with a Loki who is A) a source of safety to me and B) hurting and tired a lot. So yeah. *shoves a Loki mug across the table* Fill that shit up with physical affection and positive touch.

*tries to think of shit that's not quite so gooey*

*buffering symbol*

Loki, for all that They're a mover-and-shaker, likes quiet. Loki appreciates sharing space calmly with people. Downtime and relaxing activities are a good. Whether it's bubble baths or watching mindless fluff TV or coloring books or just sitting together. Chilling out is a thing Loki likes and we enjoyed together.

"There's a time for work and a time for play and a time to sit the fuck down and rest." R&R is a Good in whatever form.

Loki also enjoys water. Like swimming, but also, Loki uses water metaphors and imagery with me a lot, even though They're fiery and whatnot. [Insert soundclip of Bruce Lee: "Be like water."]

Recon or No Recon?

No. No Recon. We die like Millennials at a family reunion during mealtime discussions. LOL I do both old and new things with Loki. But we're a free form, free-flowing, do-our-own-thing pair and I like it like that.

Is Loki proud or remorseful about Their lore?

Yes.

Both.

Both is good.

Look, part of being a trickster is teaching lessons in unorthodox and sometimes upsetting ways. But healing comes from the upset. New growth after the seasonal burn. That's Loki.

But Loki is not incapable of remorse. No God is incapable of remorse. But also, I feel the need to mention that while lore and history are very important to learn and acknowledge, the lore is not the be-all end-all. God's learn, adapt, grow and change just as we do.

What does Loki expect from the relationship?

We had a discussion. I got hit in the feels. Basically, we're on the same page. Loki expects me to continue growing with Them and expects to remain my safe harbor. The one I love in this deep-rooted way.

[lo-lynx]

Masculine embodiment in ASOIAF- aka, what’s up with the eunuchs?

CW: Sexism, cissexism, rape, sex, description of genitalia and bodily functions.

Spoilers: All of A Song of Ice and Fire, and a tiny spoiler from Game of Thrones season 8.

“’I hold the man’s balls in the palm of my hand.’ He cupped his fingers, smiling. ‘Or would, if he were a man, or had any balls.’” (Martin 1996/2011, 194) Ah, classic Littlefinger burn about Varys. In George RR Martin’s world of ASOIAF such jokes are frequent, but when last time when I re-read A Game of Thrones this one joke in Ned’s fourth chapter stuck out. Perhaps it was because I had recently watched the last season of Game of Thrones where Varys comments on Tyrion’s ever-present jokes about Varys being a eunuch (Game of Thrones 2019, 04:27). Perhaps it’s because issues of gender and sexuality interest me in general (see: all of this blog). Regardless, it got me interested at seeing how eunuchs are described in the books. I soon found that the connection between a man’s genitals and masculinity seemed to be very strong. Now, before I go any further, I feel like two disclaimers are in order. 1: I’m not saying that having a penis is necessary to be a man, I’m saying that both our society and the world of ASOIAF seems to think so. 2: I’m not saying that GRRM thinks this either, I have no idea what his personal stance on these things are, but I’m saying that he seems to have transferred these views from our world into his world. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, why focus on this aspect of masculine embodiment in ASOIAF? Well, as I intend to show in this analysis, by analysing how eunuchs are portrayed in the books, I think one can infer quite a bit of how men and masculinity is conceived of in Westeros and beyond. So, firstly I want to give a brief overview of how sex/gender was conceived of in our medieval world (mostly to show how this DOES NOT seem to match ASOIAF), and secondly how these things are conceived of in more modern times and compare this to ASOIAF.

So, before the 18th century or so, European conception sex/gender relied on what has afterwards been called a “one-sex model” (Mottier 2008, 33). This model was very influenced by the Greek philosophical idea that men’s bodies were active, hot and strong; women’s bodies being passive, weak, damp and cold (ibid, 5).

As the historian Thomas Laqueur has pointed out, the classical model of gender involved a ‘one-sex model’: since gender was fluid, men risked becoming more feminized if they lost heat, while women could become more like men if their bodies heated up. The psychological consequences of such beliefs was [sic] that gender did not appear as a stable, biological characteristic, but as an identity that was potentially under threat. (Mottier 2008, 6)

That is to say, during this time sex/gender was seen as fluid, and not a biological fact. As mentioned, this view didn’t really change until the 18th century. Mottier describes that shift like this:

From the 18th century, the traditional idea of the ‘one-sex’ body, which conceptualized women’s bodies as similar but inferior versions of male bodies (with female genitals being thought of as internal, much smaller versions of male genitals) started to be replaced with the idea of a clear biological differentiation between men and women. Male and female bodies came to be seen as fundamentally, biological different, not as part of the same hierarchical continuum. The gender hierarchy remained, however. (Mottier 2008, 33)

From this we can infer then, that during the medieval period in Europe, female bodies were perceived as sort of defect versions of male bodies, not fundamentally biologically different. It was after this model was replaced with the ‘two-sex model’ that men and women were seen as biologically different creatures. This biological difference also began being used as a justification for social difference (and inequality) between men and women. That is not to say that such social difference didn’t exist before that, but it wasn’t though to be the result of biological differences in the same way. In my view, this later conceptualisation of sex/gender is much more in line with how sex/gender seems to be perceived in ASOIAF. Throughout the books there are several references of women being of the gentle/weaker sex, or similar descriptions. One such is in Catelyn’s last chapter in A Game of Thrones when Catelyn tries to persuade Robb’s lords to sue for peace with the Lannisters. The Greatjon then says that because she is a woman she does not understand such things, while Lord Karstark says: “You are the gentle sex (…) a man has a need for vengeance.” (Martin 2011, 770) Such a view, seeing the female sex as gentler/weaker than the male sex, seems much more in line with a “two-sex model” than the “one-sex model” that would’ve existed in Medieval Europe. I shall therefore proceed to explain the male body has been conceived in more modern times.

In general, one can say that the male subject is expected to embody strength, toughness, and have a capability to exercise power over a space (Whitehead 2002, 189). This expectation also carries through to expectations of men’s sexuality, which is why many aging men might start to lose confidence in their sexuality when they can’t live up to this expectation (ibid, 200). This connection between masculinity and strength, virility etc. also impacts the importance being put on having “normal” genitalia. As Fausto-Sterling writes about the male body, from a medical point of view, the existence of a “functional” penis is often considered crucial for manhood (1995, 130). This is taken to the extreme that children born with a penis that is considered too small (even though the size of the penis at birth doesn’t seem to be a good indicator of adult size) will have their genitalia surgically changed into a vagina (for more on surgery on intersex children see for example: Amnesty 2017). Presumably this is partly because the sexual act of penetration is so closely linked to masculinity, that having a penis that is considered “too small” for this is inconceivable (as someone who works with sex education, I just want to add SIZE DOESN’T MATTER THAT MUCH. Just communicate with your partner and figure out what works for you!) Other studies have also analysed the way testicles are perceived in modern society and found that those seem to be closely connected to masculinity as well (Karioris & Allan 2017). The most obvious example of this is of course the phrase “grow a pair”, said when wanting someone to toughen up. Kaioris and Allan also write that fear of castration is often linked with a fear of losing one’s masculinity. This is all to say, that in our society genitalia seems to be very important to manhood and being “a real man”. Now, is this also the case in ASOIAF?

Short answer, yes. One example is of course the quote with which I started this text, when Littlefinger seems to equate Varys’ lack of testicles with his lack of manhood. Another example comes from A Clash of Kings when Tyrion expresses a similar sentiment when comparing himself to Varys: “Yet I’m still a man.” (Martin 1999/2011, 120). But the linking of lack of genitals with lack of masculinity doesn’t stop with Varys, it is also something we see with Theon after his torture by Ramsey. He himself thinks that he is no man (Martin 2011/2012, 566). Later, when Ramsey forces him to be a part of raping Jeyne Poole, he jokes about Theon (not) getting an erection by seeing Jeyne, and then says that Theon is: “Not even a man, in truth.” (Martin 2011d, 582). This equating of (lack of) a penis and testicles with (a lack of) masculinity/manhood isn’t contained to Westeros, however. Daenerys thinks a similar thing when describing the unsullied in A Storm of Swords: “(…) they were no men at all. The Unsullied were eunuchs, every one of them.” (Martin 2000/2011, 314). Speaking of Daenerys, in A Game of Thrones we learn from her chapters that in Dothraki culture, the only ones who ride in carts are those with a disability, women giving birth, the very old and the very old. Oh, and eunuchs (Martin 1996/2011, 373). Here it becomes very clear that eunuchs are seen as weak and unmanly when they are grouped together with pregnant women, old people and those with disabilities. How disability is portrayed in ASOIAF is not something I will go into further here, but I recommend the text “Power and Punishment in Game of Thrones” by Mia Harrison that does explore that. However, it seems clear that those with disabilities are not seen as “real men” either.

So, based on this, we can see that the Westerosi (and Essosi) view of what a man is seems to presume that he is strong, active and virile. It is apparently also very important to have functioning genitalia (whatever that even means). Therefore, those who cannot live up to that, such as eunuchs, are not real men. This is a very narrow definition of masculinity and manhood, yet it unfortunately rings true in our world as well. Not only does it exclude trans folx completely, it also limits people of all genders. We see the consequences of that in ASOIAF when Brianne is excluded from knighthood based on her gender, and in the way people of Westeros treat all of its “imperfect” men. And we can most definitely see it in our own world.

  References

Amnesty International. (2017). “First, do no harm: ensuring the rights of children born intersex.” Accessed 1 December, 2019. https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/campaigns/2017/05/intersex-rights/

Game of Thrones. (2019) Winterfell. [TV-show]

Harrison, Mia. (2018). “Power and Punishment in Game of Thrones”, pp. 28-43 in Schatz, J L & Amber E George (Eds.), The Image of Disability: Essays on Media Representations. North Carolina: McFarland & Company, Inc.

Fausto-Sterling, Anne (1995). “How to build a man”, pp. 127-134 in Berger, Maurice, Brian Wallis and Simon Watson (eds.) (1995). Constructing Masculinity, Routledge, New York

Martin, George RR. (1996/2011). A Game of Thrones. Harper Voyager: London

Martin, George RR. (1998/2011). A Clash of Kings. Harper Voyager: London

Martin, George RR. (2000/2011). A Storm of Swords 1: Steel and Snow. Harper Voyager: London

Martin, George RR. (2011/2012). A Dance with Dragons. Harper Voyager: London

Mottier, Véronique. (2008). Sexuality: A Very Short Introduction. Oxford: Oxford University Press

Whitehead, Stephen M. (2002). Men and Masculinities, Cambridge and Malden: Polity, pp. 181-204

[aprilfayelikes]

So I’m reading TGCF... (part 4)

Welcome to the 4th part of my TGCF readthrough. I’ve just finished the first book, and let me tell you, this is the cruelest ending ever! So naturally, I had to continue my lovely suffering with the second book... (If you can’t tell, I really love this story:D) Warning: SPOILERS!  Stick around if you have already read TGCF from chapter 58 to chapter 74

Chapter 58

(We’re back in the past at the Shangyuan Festival. The crown prince is late but he plays the part of the God-Pleasing Martial Warrior, so the Guoshi is very angry. Mu Qing who plays the ghost reports that Xie Lian promised to be there on time and they should just start the show. So they do. The crown prince arrives and everything goes according to plan, but a small child falls from the city wall, and Xie Lian abandons the play and his mask to save him) - FCUK! You’re joking, right?! We’re reminiscing?! Right now?! No way! Please, no! Why now? After that awful cliff-hanger?! This is torture! - Not like I wouldn’t be interested in the backstory, but still... - FUCK! Let me cry in the corner for a short minute or hour or day..... T.T - ‘K, I’m done. - No, I’m not! *goes back to the corner to cry* T.T - This amount of praise must put a lot of pressure on someone. I’d break under the weight. Like you constantly have to live up to the expectations. And the expectations are sky-high. - Nice catch!:D

Chapter 59

(Not only does he lose his mask, the parade circles the city three times, which only guarantees three years of peace for the country, so the Guoshi is not happy. But it turns out, that the crown prince did send a message about why he will be late, but the Guoshi was busy playing cards and his subordinates hate Mu Qing thus they didn’t let him through. The kid he saved is kind of weird, but they let him go) - Xie Lian is very spoiled. He’s a nice and naive prince who’s completely detached from reality. - I love these three together. They are fun:D Xie Lian is fun. He’s too carefree and definitely spoiled but fun:)

Chapter 60

(The bad omens keep piling up. The kid dirtied Xie Lian’s clothes and he also lost one of his earrings during the performance. Feng Xin and Mu Qing get into an argument. Mu Qing thinks the other one is accusing him of stealing and storms off. Xie Lian tells Feng Xin about how he got to know Mu Qing.) - So he was supposed to be looking fluid in gender as a god? I love this idea. And it somehow suits Xie Lian, as well:D - Also he pierced his ears just for the performance:) - ‘He really didn’t bring a lot with him. Only two carriages full of books, and two hundred treasured swords.’ Pft... yeah, that’s not much AT ALL.

Chapter 61-64

(They go after Mu Qing and see him being bullied. Xie Lian not only helps him out but invites him to keep him company while visiting the palace. In the palace, we realize that although he loves his mom, his not on great terms with his father. Qi Rong is also a little troublemaker. He got a carriage for his birthday and he almost trampled pedestrians but doesn’t even care about it. The crown prince demands his mother to confiscate the cart. Qi Rong throws a fit and almost charges at Mu Qing. Then later when Xie Lian offers to visit Mu Qing’s mom, they see Qi Rong dragging a human body behind his carriage. The boys stop him and Xie Lian finds out, he captured the kid he rescued and whom his cousin blames for the misfortune of the Shangyuan Festival. While Qi Rong tries to attack the kid, Feng Xin breaks his hand)   - Mu Qing is being bullied. I start to understand where his complexes are coming from. - How can the crown prince casually stroll around in the slums? Does no one want to capture him? Does no one recognize him? Does no one want to steal from him? - Qi Rong was also disgusting as a human. - Poor kid! His name is Hong, that’s cute. :) Hong Hong-er:D - When did this happen? When did I get to the 64th chapter? These chapters went by so fast.

Chapter 65

(They take the kid back to the palace, he’s called Hong and is 10 years old. The king, however, demands Feng Xin to be punished for raising his hand on a member of the royal family. So Feng Xin has to break his on hand as an atonement) - Oh, the unimaginable hardships of a prince... (He definitely has an incredibly easy life, tbh) - Uh... Feng Xin’s hand is broken. Poor angry boy.

Chapter 66

(They head back to Mount Taicang, but the crowd circles them. Instead of blaming him for what happened at the festival, the people are cheering for Xie Lian. He feels he did the right thing saving the kid. So when the Guoshi says otherwise...) - Say what?! So he either kneels before the wall and prays, or the child should lose one of his senses? Why? This makes absolutely zero sense. Chapter 67

(... he cannot accept any penalty and cannot let them punish the kid either. But suddenly, as he is being lectured, all the evil ghosts they kept imprisoned get out and start to circle the kid. The Guoshi says that the kid carries bad luck and no one should touch him, but Xie Lian still holds him and comforts him.) - It’s not your fault, baby Hong, don”t cry! Poor kid! I really can’t. - Sry I don’t know what to write. These chapters are not funny, and you can feel that misery is coming.

Chapter 68

(Xie Lian cannot accept that the kid was born to be unlucky and the Guoshi tries to lecture him again. But he’s stubborn and is willing to oppose even the heavens if he knows, he’s right. The Guoshi feels the crown prince needs more worldly experience, so he lets him descend the mountain to go on an adventure. The kid escapes that night, and not much later Xie Lian ascends) - Yeah, that master is saying something... Xie Lian is very compassionate and lovely and good-natured and stubborn, but also incredibly naive and wants to shoulder everything on his own. This road leads to tragedy.

Chapter 69-70

(Three years later they are building the 8000th golden statue of the crown prince. Qi Rong also visits the shrine and offers prayers, but on the way out, he sees an unkempt man who wants to get to the royal palace then tries to fish out some golden coins of the shrine from the lake. He beats him. Xie Lian interferes; he pushes down his own statue, which is a very bad omen. The man is from Yong’An, the area is suffering from drought and he came for help from the king. He carries the body of his dead child on his back. Xie Lian helps him to burry the child) - I love how the tragedy of a nation is shown through the tragedy of one man. It is shocking and touching and just goes to show how much of a dick Qi Rong truly is. - I finally understand how the conflict between Yong’An and Xianle broke out. - But I also refuse to believe that there were no solutions whatsoever. I mean I get it, it’s hard, but the solution the king chose is definitely not the best one.

Chapter 71

(Xie Lian doesn’t know how to help. The Guoshi warns him that he is a god, not a crown prince, mortal matters shouldn’t concern him anymore. He also mentions that he believes Xie Lian ascended too soon. Since his bloodline is still alive he can’t help but to be concerned and that is going to bring bad luck on him and the kingdom, as well) - Why don’t you just ask some elemental god to help out. Aren’t you like... all in the god club? If you can’t help, somebody else can!  - Aaaand thank God he also realized this. At least the idea is there.

Chapter 72-73

(Xie Lian tries to collect information disguised as an ordinary human when it starts to pour down. He is mesmerized by the rain but hides in a small shrine that happens to be built for him. A small kid is a regular at that shrine. He changes the flower in the hand of the statue every day. Xie Lian becomes invisible and listens to the child’s prayer. The child asks him what should he live for. And he answers: Live for me. This child happens to be the same child he saved years ago.) - Small Hong is really cute~ - And Xie Lian is really stupid. I understand him and his desperation, but he is too young. His head is full of ideas. His childish. But he tries his best:( I feel for him.

Chapter 74

(As it turns out Xie Lian didn’t have the time to make friends with the other gods yet due to his fast ascension, so no one is willing to help him. He visits the Rain Master, who is not very nice, but he lends him his godly device. However, all this takes too long and a week passes) - Lord Rain Master seems like a dick, too. There are many dicks in this story.

[alysemeadfad]

Portraiture

Group practical

we sat parallel to another person, we had our pencils stabbed through paper so we could not see the paper below and we had to focus only on the face and not look down, basically a blind drawing as far as looking at the drawing but we could see what the object was as we drew it.

i did the same thing again in graphite and had got a better understanding of proportion considering we could not see the drawing.

we then chose a unique image of ourselves, well mine was rather unique and we did a rough sketch to help us decide what we wanted to draw for our social realism drawing, i was quite impressed by my sketch the proportions were not half bad.

photo REALISM

i chose to just do the center of my face as i felt it would look the best in the social realism style, i then grid my drawing in 4 by 5 squares and did the same to my paper before then beginning my drawing of the outline and basic shapes in order for me to add tone and texture later on 

what is photo realism?

photo realism is a form of art where a drawing or painting looks absolutely identical to the object or photo it has been drawn from, so much so you cant tell the difference between the two, it takes time, patients and a lot of skill.

but most of the art community don’t consider this to be an art form.

Many would argue that the technical skill required to make Photorealism art can be exceeded by a decent color photocopier or a computer, thus avoid to use the word art in such context, but this discussion brings us to an analogy of photography. If photography is merely capturing an image of what is already there, where is the art in that? It is right there in the photographer’s perspective, the exact choice made by the person wielding the camera in what to capture and from which angle, moment and perspective. If a person creating a photorealistic recreation of a photograph doesn’t have that “artistic” input of a photographer, then what is artistic about the process? Some would say even those renditions are not strict interpretations of photographs, instead, they incorporate additional, often subtle, pictorial elements to create the illusion of a reality which does not actually exist, or cannot be perceived by the human eye.

In the end, as in many things in art, and life in general, the final conclusion remains behind the individual perspective

Da Vinci

Long recognised as one of the great artists of the Renaissance, Leonardo da Vinci was also a pioneer in the understanding of human anatomy. Had his ground-breaking work been published, it would have transformed European knowledge of the subject.

https://www.rct.uk/collection/themes/exhibitions/leonardo-da-vinci/the-queens-gallery-palace-of-holyroodhouse/explore-the-exhibition#/

At the outset of Leonardo’s career, anatomical illustration was in its infancy. To convey the three-dimensional form of the body and to show how it moves, Leonardo had to develop a whole range of new illustrative techniques. His challenges were in many ways the same as those faced by anatomists today, and some of Leonardo’s drawings are remarkably similar in approach to modern medical imagery, such as MRI and CT scans and 3D computer modelling.

Studies of Human Proportion

While studying Vitruvius for his work on the Milan and Pavia cathedrals, Leonardo became captivated by the ancient Roman architect’s detailed studies of human proportions and measurements. In addition, when he was measuring horses for the Sforza monument, he became interested in how they related to human proportions. Comparative anatomy appealed to his instinct for finding patterns across different subjects. So in 1490 he began measuring and drawing the proportions of the human body.

The construction lines and all of the annotation almost take away from the actual subject and become more of the focus, which was the main idea anyway It was not meant to be a work of art, but rather a manual for how to create it.

Da vinci was a polymath, a person of wide knowledge or learning. He was not only an artist but a scientist, sculpture and an architect.

Frida Kahlo

was a Mexican painter known for her many portraits, self-portraits, and works inspired by the nature and artifacts of Mexico. Inspired by the country’s popular culture, she employed a naïve folk art style to explore questions of identity, postcolonialism, gender, class, and race in Mexican society. Her paintings often had strong autobiographical elements and mixed realism with fantasy. In addition to belonging to the post-revolutionary Mexicayotl movement, which sought to define a Mexican identity, Kahlo has been described as a surrealist or magical realist.

Kahlo’s paintings often feature root imagery, with roots growing out of her body to tie her to the ground. This reflects in a positive sense the theme of personal growth; in a negative sense of being trapped in a particular place, time and situation; and in an ambiguous sense of how memories of the past influence the present for either good and/or ill.[110] In My Grandparents and I, Kahlo painted herself as a ten-year holding a ribbon that grows from an ancient tree that bears the portraits of her grandparents and other ancestors while her left foot is a tree trunk growing out of the ground, reflecting Kahlo’s view of humanity’s unity with the earth and her own sense of unity with Mexico.[111] In Kahlo’s paintings, trees serve as symbols of hope, of strength and of a continuity that transcends generations.[112] Additionally, hair features as a symbol of growth and of the feminine in Kahlo’s paintings and in Self Portrait with Cropped Hair, Kahlo painted herself wearing a man’s suit and shorn of her long hair, which she had just cut off.[113] Kahlo holds the scissors with one hand menacingly close to her genitals, which can be interpreted as a threat to Rivera – whose frequent unfaithfulness infuriated her – and/or a threat to harm her own body like she has attacked her own hair, a sign of the way that women often project their fury against others onto themselves.[114] Moreover, the picture reflects Kahlo’s frustration not only with Rivera, but also her unease with the patriarchal values of Mexico as the scissors symbolize a malevolent sense of masculinity that threatens to “cut up” women, both metaphorically and literally.[114] In Mexico, the traditional Spanish values of machismo were widely embraced, and as a woman, Kahlo was always uncomfortable with machismo.[114]

image taken at the MoMa in Nyc

Fulang-Chang and I depicts Kahlo with one of her pet monkeys, interpreted by many as surrogates for the children she and Diego Rivera were unable to conceive. The painting was included in the first major exhibition of her work, held at Julien Levy Gallery in New York in 1938. In the essay that accompanied the show, the Surrealist leader André Breton described Kahlo’s work as “a ribbon around a bomb” and hailed her as a self-created Surrealist painter. Although she appreciated his enthusiasm for her work, Kahlo did not agree with his assessment: “They thought I was a Surrealist but I wasn’t. I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality.” Kahlo later gave this painting to her close friend Mary Sklar, attaching a mirror to it so that, if Sklar chose, the two friends could be together.

Tai Shan Schierenberg

Tai Shan Schierenberg lives and works in London. He graduated from the Slade School of Art in 1987 and in 1989 won first prize in the National Portrait Gallery’s John Player Portrait Award. He was then commissioned to paint Sir John Mortimer for the Gallery. The National Portrait Gallery also holds his portraits of Lord Carrington from 1994, Lord Sainsbury, 2002 and most recently Seamus Heaney from 2004. Other noted commissions include Professor Stephen Hawking, Sir John Madejski and a double portrait of Queen Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh. For Schierenberg, there is an emotional charge that comes from the different textures and densities, and ultimately the light conditions, that occur in a place at a certain time. He describes his process in 2010: Painting and painting and painting, endlessly exploring ideas in paint on canvas, always painting my way. Finding that over time I can’t see the trees for the paint. Sometimes its good to try a new way, a different path, expose oneself to the vagaries of chance - and see the trees again.

Before he finishes a commission, Tai-Shan Schierenberg usually splatters a bit of paint in the corner of the portrait. It’s not a stylistic move – the brushstrokes in his paintings are fluid but the images themselves are representative – but rather one which gives the subject something to complain about.

in the image above you can clearly see the texture and markings on the canvas, the artist uses oil paint on canvas and applies it using a pallet knife and a large brush, making various large strokes in the work. this gives a rough texture and edge to the piece.

These instinctive visual images refuse to betray the plasticity of the medium. Unlike Freud, Schierenberg sees paint simultaneously as flesh. It is exactly this technique that establishes the major paradoxes characteristic of his work. It is both abstract and realist, edgy and sensitive, grand and inconclusive, violent and melancholic, physically intense and aesthetically detache

Lucian Freud

was influenced by surrealism, but by the early 1950s his often stark and alienated paintings tended towards realism. Freud was an intensely private and guarded man, and his paintings, completed over a 60-year career, are mostly of friends and family. They are generally somber and thickly impastoed, often set in unsettling interiors and city scapes. The works are noted for their psychological penetration and often discomforting examination of the relationship between artist and model. Freud worked from life studies, and was known for asking for extended and punishing sittings from his models.

one of my chosen artists, tai shan sheirenberg seems to be heavily influenced by the style of lucian freud yet he made his own style, they both use the same meduims, oil on canvas also.

here in the colder tones we have a painting by lucian freud, you can see the texture of the brush strikes that help carve out the facial features.

here is a painting by tai shan, the tones are a lot warmer, they are not of the same person tho they look similar, you can see the brush strokes again on this image that help carve out the facial features, tho they are a lot more prominent in this painting as thats tai shans style, you see paint before you see the face .

Interpreting line

The Visual Element of Line is the foundation of all drawing. It is the first and most versatile of the visual elements. Line in an artwork can be used in many different ways. It can be used to suggest shape, pattern, form, structure, growth, depth, distance, rhythm, movement and a range of emotions.

We have a psychological response to different types of lines:

Curved lines suggest comfort and ease

Horizontal lines suggest distance and calm

Vertical lines suggest height and strength

Jagged lines suggest turmoil and anxiety

The way we draw a line can convey different expressive qualities:

Freehand lines can express the personal energy and mood of the artist

Mechanical lines can express a rigid control

Continuous lines can lead the eye in certain directions

Broken lines can express the ephemeral or the insubstantial

Thick lines can express strength

Thin lines can express delicacy

[mangled-dreams]

Making Memories: 6

Making Memories: Chapter 6. Little Comforts.

Getting any time alone with Dark around proved to be difficult. Despite your very obvious dismissal of his continuous presence, he refused to let you out of his sight without Anti around. Under other circumstances, it may have been adorable, but with everything going on, you just feel drained. 

“Stay inside, I’m going out to see the sprites.” You order with your hand on the door knob.

Dark’s arm shoots out, stopping you from pulling the door open fully. You hate it when he does this to you. 

“I’m not a prisoner in my own home.” You tell him, gritting your teeth as you speak. 

Dark chuckles, “Of course not, but you are under my supervision.”

“And I’m not a child.” You add quickly. “I am going outside the cabin to see the sprites that live around the cabin. You scare them.” You tell him, needing time alone from Dark and Anti for that matter.

“If you run, I will catch you.”

Looking over your shoulder at him, you roll your eyes. “Please, as if I’d need too. My family lives just down the path.” You tell him motioning to the stone path leading to your parent’s house. Well, it’s your house too; technically you still live at home because the cabin is not yet suitable for year round living. 

Dark steps away, his hand dropping to his side. Irritated you jerk the door open and exit the cabin. The sun is bright and high in the afternoon sky, warming your aching bones. You’ve started to go stir crazy, which has never happened before, even when you were alone in the cabin.

You blame the feeling on the fact things are changing so drastically. It had always been a possibility, just not something you’d think would happen at all. Humans don’t just become demons or creatures of the frey randomly; there has to be more to it than just that. 

Walking into the grove of hybrid flowers you find a small bald spot and sit down among the flowers. Exhausted, you lay down, eyes closed soaking in the sun. A light breeze tickles the fine hairs on your arms and face.

“Miss bride, are you alright?”

Peeking from under your eyelashes you see a few of the sprites flutter closer to you, their wings like that of a humming bird’s.

“Just tired. I’m sorry I haven’t been out alone or with Anti lately. Things have… become complicated.” You explain slowly sitting up. The sprites back away to give you space.

“Who is the new man? He scares us.” A sprite you’ve come to enjoy with vivid green eyes and long auburn hair. 

“His name is Dark. He’s here to watch over me.”

“Is it because of the magic growing within you?” 

You nod. “I’m changing and we don’t know what’ll happen at the end of my change.” You explain further. It scares you, truly scared you over what you could become. 

Tiny hands, however much larger than you’re used to, touch your arm gently. Lifting your head you see the youngling sprite with the large yellow eyes. It’s very much taken on male characteristics. His eyes still large, but slanted ever so slightly. Still very much gender fluid, he definitely looks more on the musculine side. 

“Miss Bride, do you recognize me?” The sprite asks.

Nodding you smile at him. “The youngling from a few weeks ago. Wow, you’ve grown so much.” You marvel looking at the young sprite over. “So, you’re a male sprite now?” You ask for clarification.

“Yes, this form felt right.” he says looking down at his physique. You smile at him, happy he’s happy with his new features.

“It suits you well.” You tell him, meaning it.

HIs tiny cheeks flush red. “Thank you, Miss Bride.” He responds bashfully. 

You can’t help a small giggle. “You’re very welcome. Have you been given a name?” You ask.

He shakes his head no. “We thought you would be the best to name me.”

Instantly your jaw drops. “Me? Are you sure? I’m horrible with names.” You tell him, not wanting to give such a wonderful your sprite a horrible name for the rest of his existence.

The young sprite floats to your knee and settles there. “I trust you. Because of you, I have grown to a size no other sprite has ever been before.”

Your face burns at the sigh of his complete trust in you. Cooing softly you hold your hand out to the sprite, only retracting it back to your body once he’s settled in your palm. Smiling, you look him over. You know he’s going to be a fine sprite. 

“What are your talents?” You ask. needing to keep yourself busy with other things. 

Thinking, the sprite moves his hands in a pattern through the air. The wind picks up as lights of various colors begin to emanate from his hands. In aw, you watch as the lights grow larger, lifting into the air in a kaleidoscope like fashion. As they reach high above your head the lights explode with firework flare. 

“That’s beautiful.” Sitting in awe you look to the sprite. His chest puffs a little at your praise. “You’re really something special, aren’t you?”

“Miss Bride, because of you, he is the strongest of us. We are very thankful for your blessing.” A young female sprite says.

Looking to the owner of the tiny voice you ask, “Could I do this for everyone?”

Heads shake. “Only the younglings would be affected in this way. We could store the power and become stronger, but our bodies have reached maturity. We cannot grow anymore than we are now.” The elder sprite answers, stepping forward. Quickly you bow your head out of respect for the elder.

“Understood.” You respond softly. 

“You have done us a great honor by sharing your energy with even just one of our kind. Your heart truly is generous and pure.” The elder floats closer to you. 

This is the closest you’ve ever been to the elder. “I… thank you. You’ve all been so kind to me, even before now. I could never begin to repay you for this feeling of happiness I have.”

The elder nods his head. “Such a gentle soul. You will be a good addition to this world.” He says floating close enough you touch your cheek.

Warmth spreads through his touch into your body, seeping deep within your bones. Closing your eyes you bask in the warmth. “Elder,” You whisper, opening your eyes to look at the aged sprite. “What is going to happen to me?”

The elder smiles gently at you, the wrinkles along his mouth and under his eyes deepening. There is comfort in his smile. It reminds you of your own grandfather. “It will be difficult, but know; you are always welcome among us. We will always welcome you with open arms and a warm place to rest. Our magic can halt the process for a short time, if it is needed we can provide for you. This is not something we offer lightly.”

Nodding you feel a small amount of comfort in his offer. “Thank you, Elder. Your words have calmed some of the fears in my heart.” You whisper, smiling softly. Tears line your eyes. He said if needed. Careful of the youngling, you cover your eyes with one hand. “I’m sorry, I’m not ungrateful, I just… I’m so scared of becoming something horrible. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” You sob, drawing your knees closer to your chest. 

The sprites look between each other before gathering closer around you. A soft melody slowly raises on the wind, bringing your attention back to the sprites. Their voices blend flawlessly as they sing in an ancient language of their people you don’t understand. Regardless, you feel comforted by their song. 

Your little youngling sprite sings along with the others, his eyes closed just as their eyes were. Smiling contently, your eyes slowly begin to drift down. Your muscles relax and you slowly lay down in the flowers. Opening your eyes enough to see the sprites you lock eyes with a pair of yellow eyes.

His eyes remind you of sunshine and warmth. “Ra.” You whisper softly. “Egyptian God of the Sun. That’ll be your name… Ra.” You manage to get out just before you slip into a well needed deep sleep. 

Ra rolls his name over on his tongue. The others try it out as well, looking at the former nameless sprite. “I am Ra.” He announces to his family. He likes the name, like the power it gives him to have such a strong connection to the sun and to you. Floating over to your face, Ra leans down and kisses your cheek. “I will wear this name with pride.”

Dark wanders out into the grove. His eyes falling on your sleeping frame. Standing eerily still, he waits as the Elder few up to him. 

“Elder.” He greets calmly.

“Lord Demon, we understand you are not her chosen mate; however you are working to keep her safe. We of the North Wood sprites have placed this young woman under our protection, and as such we are placing one of our own at her disposal. Ra,” He says, indicating to the sprite still hovering close to your body. “Will be at her side when she is no longer in the forest. He is our strongest, and has an amazing connection to the young woman. Should she need us, we will be there through Ra.”

Dark simply nods. “Understand, were she my mate; I would not allow such a thing. However, she has rebuffed my attempts. So, do as you wish, but know; I will not hesitate to remove anyone that becomes a hindrance in my task.”

The Elder nods once then leaves back to his people.Dark watches the elder speak with Ra before he and the rest of the clan leave. Ra is last to leave, waiting with your body until you are taken inside to rest on the bed.