#the gacha drug is real

[cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga]

your unicorn overlord posting has single-handedly made me play the game

Me when someone says my posts got them into Unicorn overlord:

OH MY GOD ITS SO GREAT ISNT IT IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO GET TO CERTAIN CHARACTERS AND SEE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL ART AND TALK ABOUT THE PLOT ELEMENTS THAT AT FIRST SEEM BOG STANDARD FOR A FANTASY STORY BUT ARE REALLY HORRIFIC THE LONGER YOU THINK ABOUT THEM!

Me when someone tells me my posts got them to pick up Nikke:

Im so sorry for what ive done to you, it has hooks in my brain that WONT LET ME GO!!!

[familyabolisher]

Would you elaborate on why you don't really believe in addictive personalities? I find that a useful descriptor for myself that reminds me how easy it is for me to get into unhealthy behavior patterns. I have to fully stay away from tiktok and gacha games(I will never go gambling) because I know I can't trust myself with them. I also have to be REALLY careful with alcohol, etc. I have adhd and bi-polar, and I like having a phrase that describes my experience without being too over-medicalized and relating everything to diagnoses. I'm curious why you don't like it as a construct/whatever your opinion is!

personal explanatory power is one thing and i wouldn’t begrudge you that but i don’t really see how it has any materialist usage; and ultimately, like, i’m a marxist, any way in which i evaluate a framework that’s supposed to explain something in the world has to come from the assumption that the world is best explained through historical materialism. ‘addictive personality’ with no further elaboration is an idealist claim which obfuscates crucial points of discourse around addiction and the conditions that give rise to it—and indeed the conditions which cause us to name one substance or action as ‘addictive’ over another in the first place. addiction is materially punished; through social stigma, but also through housing discrimination, workplace discrimination, policing & incarceration, psychiatry, the sorts of forces that add up to eventually facilitate the conditions of social murder. we only have to look as far as the war on drugs to understand how ‘addiction,’ the consumption and circulation of substances regarded as ‘addictive,’ is not a prediscursive state but one that can be leveraged to violently enforce conditions of hegemony and quell insurgence through carceralism and social murder. i also just heavily distrust psychology as a field and certainly don’t buy these appeals to an essential self as a self who ‘has’ xyz tendencies as though xyz tendencies (such as the traits given in the five-factor model which is applied to ‘explain’ a predisposition to addiction) are anything other than postdiscursive descriptors we’ve imbued with meaning relative to a postdiscursive normalcy. i think psychological theorising around personality tends to obfuscate materialist frameworks in favour of methodologies which presume and reify normativity (eg. the claim that those more vulnerable to ‘addictive personalities’ have a stronger tendency towards ‘social alienation’ and ‘nonconformity’ without defining what constitutes ‘alienation’ and ‘conformity’ in the first place—as though personality traits simply appear out of thin air).

as we’ve seen dozens of times, “addiction” is a slippery term easily wielded towards reactionary ends. “porn addiction” is a line taken by anti-sex work radfems; “food addiction” is infamously unscientific and preying on cultural predispositions towards fatphobia; “internet addiction” is similarly flimsy and frequently deployed in theories of cultural degeneration. this doesn’t mean that the clusters of behaviours we term “addiction” aren’t “real” in the sense that some people do develop dependencies on particular substances, but that the term can be used to draw connections between the reactionary attitude held towards addiction & its attendant connotations (of infantilisation, justified removal of autonomy, incarceration, psychiatric intervention, and so on) and whatever the wielder wants to malign (porn, food, using the internet). if we reify the idea of there being an ontological state within ourselves by which we are more or less prone to “addiction,” we by implication act against the necessity of interrogating what is meant by “addiction” and why it is being invoked in the first place; we also place all our explanatory eggs, so to speak, in the basket of the individual cast as “addicted,” rather than turning our attention towards the source of the “addictive” substance or object and its material origins + usage.

so it bears asking what we’re obscuring and what we’re facilitating when we give legitimacy to the idea of an ‘addictive personality’ in the public discourse, which is what i meant when i said that the term has no materialist explanatory power for me—casting someone in the role of an addict, even if only in the hypothetical, allows others to enforce the stigmas that such a role entails, through, for example, infantilisation, denial of autonomy, and reluctance to treat the individual’s behaviour as worthy of respect, compassion, and mature response. it creates a telos out of addiction under conditions wherein addiction means incarceration (literal or psychiatric), discrimination, ostracisation, everything i just laid out in the first paragraph. it makes addiction into a fundamentally individualist discourse which must therefore have individualist solutions, rather than a complex nexus of social conditions and discourses that we can describe and then fight against.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Teen Reader Masterlist

Blue Days

School Stress

Band Leader

Saving you from your Abusive Ex-Family

Father x Daughter Dance

Wanting Relationship Advice

Soldier Reader

Sneaking Out

Blind Reader

Cheating Boyfriend Comfort

Got into a Fight

Y/N being in a Terrible Accident

Rushing out for a Date

Drunk Teen Reader

School Stress: Ghosted

Determined Fighter Reader (with a potty mouth)

Injured but got a Smoothie

Coming Out

Teen Reader with Scholar Phobia

Bi-Bi-Bi

'This is my boyfriend!'

Terminally Ill Reader

Protecting from Ex-Boyfriend

Part Time Job

Delinquent Reader

Gamer Reader

Gacha Reader

Valentine's Day Haul

Bunny Girl Collector

Metal Head

Drugged Reader

Trip to Disney

Water Park Headaches

Safranin Waltz

Bury me in Satin

Paparazzi

New Dad, Who This?

Lead Singer Reader

Senior Quote

Street Racing Reader

Dead by Daylight

Red Day Panic

I've Got a New Dad Now

Broken Arm

Homework Sleepy Time

Daddy's Darling Daughter

A Father's Comfort

Gentle Eyes

Valentine's Daddy Daughter Date

The Talk

Missing Teen

Teenage Affections

Emo Phase

Graduation Speech

1st Crush

Stuffed Animal User

Needing a Gentle Touch

Adoption Hesitance

Bully Defense

Teen Thief Reader

Papa Knows Best (Jack x Teen daughter)

Pregnancy Prank

Happy Halloween

Wisdom Teeth

Hurtful Words

Past Pain

First Crush!

Papa’s Little Brawler (Shiva x teen reader)

Breaking Points (level-headed teen reader)

School Dance Trauma

Haunted Houses

Cooking Dreams

Time to be a Kid

Apocalyptic Generation Reader

Hail Satan

Traditional Anger (Hispanic teen reader)

Still Worthy of Praise

Different but Loved

Window Romance

Teen Reader x Toddler RoR Cast

Genius Pianist

K-Pop Fan

Trust Issues

Tension

Monster Reader

Bake Sale!

That's My Big Brother!

Friday the 13th

Lullaby

Sibling Privileges (Jack x younger sibling reader)

The Favorite

Only Soft for You

Feral Teen Fighter

Very Mature Pre-Teen Reader

Naughty Teenager

Shark Week Hoo-ha-ha!

Child of Loki (Percy Jackson Universe)

Scrawny Male Teen Reader

My, How the Tables have Turned

Secret Addictions

True Fighter

Red Flag Rescue

Running Away from Happiness

I’ll Never Give Up!

Pain Unlike Any Other

Hiding a Body for Reals!

Dyslexic Teen Reader

Scared of Needles

Balancing Issues

Getting Caught Cuddling

BF Earning their Trust

Violent Teen Reader

Wounds that will Never Heal

Quiet but Smart Teenager- First Crush

Genderfluid Reader

Death to All Bugs

Knife Challenge

Poly Comfortable

[visxionery]

Revealing my desired enstars shuffle units!!! I might make more posts about each unit in particular + what songs it'll prob sound like. First is the event card and second and third is gacha card and the rest is event

but for now here's a brief look into each unit!

dystopia : they are all mystical beings that live in a dystopian world where art and order is gone.

heartthrob : think aisle with you plus atoz but spin it. This is more of a sad nostalgic kind of love unit? Like basically a we used to be in love and I long for you kind of thing. CAUSE I KNOW VALENTINES ARE LIKE HAPPY BUT I WANT SAD VALENTINES OK ARGHHHH (gets dragged out)

wonderlandz : mascot cosplay group, imagine twisted wonderland met wicked drugs and this. ill explain more on who is who <3 vetarannoruma : a group doing a documentary about investigative work but then gets caught in a ACTUAL CASE, they somehow end up on a plane- someone gets shot???!!! and ibara throws a bomb somewhere-FIND OUT MORE IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF VEGAS TRUE CRIME-

5050' : so eichi is investing shit right and then makes a bet and loses sum money idfk to RINNE AMAGI? Turns out rinne is good at investing and shit but then eichi like nuh uh ur reckless kohaku is on the shuffle cause rinne and his dirty schemes. Kanata is trolling and Tetora is burning kitchens (i'll explain i swear-)

imaging : OHOHO THIS IS A HALLOWEEN SHUFFLE, so switch makes a haunted house right and natsume is like lets do a mirror maze *casts sum spell* then SUBARU gets caught in the spell and suddenly theres multiple of them and the other three members get trapped.

dia thieves : game show where they battle for fans and try to rizz you up but then stinky pr does smth and THERES A SCANDAL?????? find out more on dia thieves : broke asf....

phantoms at the opera : OK OK I KNOW MAYOI AINT IN ERE BUT I DIDNT WANNA MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS. So hokuto is doing sum dramatica shit and then he gets a theatre role outside and then they have to act out shit think masquerade ball BUT THEN (here's the plot twist) THEY GET THRUSTED INTO A MURDER MYSTERY GAME BY GATEKEEPER (dun dun dunn!!!) SHIT HAPPENS NAGISA GETS INTO A CULT TSUMUGI IS HANGING OFF A LEDGE REI ALMOST DIES HOKUTO WRU and madara is yo mama.

CU2+ : So midori and hajime has been part of a buddy system made by es to cultivate good relationships between fellow idols, but they chat anon they all do so no one knows who each other is. Midori has been feeling a bit down lately and the rest of the support grp helps him but then everyone puts on a false persona because they want to be a better version of themselves. Hajime wants them to all meet in the real world at around 2 plus, but Midori has other plans...

Parasol : ARASHI WEARS A SUNDRESS TWO PIECE I REPEAT ARASHI WEARS A- basis is its a modelling gig and compared to arashi chiaki is TERRIBLE DAWG i love you chiaki but i know you can willingly go without bathing so on the day of the shoot they put so much effot in bad weather strucks and ITS A BRINK OF A NATURAL DISASTER.....but arashi is stuck and all alone....

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS THOUGHTS JUST YAP IN MY COMMENTS I LOVE TO RAMBLE ABT THEM <3

[jacksepticeye-simp]

Masterlist/Intro + DNIs

Hello, my name is Andrew! I'm ftm and use he/him pronouns. My favorite colour is red and my favorite youtubers are Markiplier & Jacksepticeye! You can see which characters I write for and their respective tags underneath my fandom list! Please don't ask me for money or advertise things in my inbox as I don't have any money.

Wattpad: Jacksepticeye-simp

AO3: jacksepticeyesimp

Side blogs: @antisepticeye-simp @mostdefinetlyjackieboyman @pigeon-detector @divine-ceo

Green = Will do/Interact/No TWs

Yellow/Orange = May not do/Thin ice/Very light TWs

Red: Will not do/Do not Interact/Very sensitive TWs/Dead dove

I will do:

Drawings (See 'Will not do' for more details)

Smut (See 'Will not do' for more details)

Ships (See 'Will not do' for more details)

Markiplier egos

RP (See 'Will not do' for more details)

Jacksepticeye egos

Yandere stuff

Polyamory stuff

X reader stories

Enemies to lovers

Female Readers

Gender Neutral Readers

Transgender Readers

AFAB/AMAB readers

Male Readers

Semi spicy/suggestive stuff (See 'Will not do' for more details)

Interact:

Markiplier fans

Jacksepticeye fans

BATIM fans

FNAF fans

LGBTQ+ and/or allies

Crankgameplays fans

Gacha community

Amyplier lovers (Mark x Amy)

Cat lovers

I might do:

Crankgameplays egos (I don't know much about his egos but I'll do my best to research about them)

Thin Ice:

MHA fans

Harry Potter fans

Will NOT do under any circumstance:

Incest

Porn (I'm a minor, I don't think I should be drawing that stuff)

Youtuber ships (Septiplier, crankiplier, whatever. Shipping real people is weird as fuck unless they're okay with it or are actually dating.)

Pedophilia

Romantic/Romance RPs (Unless its a very specific ship)

Explicit RPs

Private DM RPs (Personal pref to do rp through asks and reblogs)

Student x Teacher

Rape

Non-con

Watersports

Scat

Heavy pet play

Parent kinks

Heavy breeding kink

Dub-con

Abuse of any kind

DNI:

Religious people

Septiplier/Crankiplier shippers

Cat haters

People who like shotacons/lolicons

Proshippers

Racists

Homophobes

Transphobes

JK Rowling supporters/defenders

FANDOMS:

My tag list

(Some of this might be dead dove, be aware)

Markiplier egos:

Googleplier (#bluevoltage):

Beautiful (Yandere Googeplier x Gender Neutral reader || TW: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT/ IMPLIED BODILY MUTILATION)

Perfection (Part 2 of 'Beautiful' || TW: {DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT?}|| IMPLIED BODILY MUTILATION)

Murdock (#serotoninslasher):

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Wilford Warfstache:

Confession (Wilford Warfstache x GN! Reader || TWs: None)

Illinois Jones (#headstronghunk):

Illinois Jones & the quest for the shadow sapphire, PROLOUGE

Illinois Jones & the quest for the shadow sapphire, Part 1

Heist! Mark:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Mayor Damien (#mysteriousmayor):

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Darkiplier (suiteshadow):

Vulnerable (Darkiplier x Female Reader || TWs: None)

Behind the door (Darkiplier x reader || TW: Petrification)

Welcome Home, PROLOGUE (Darkiplier x reader)

Welcome Home, Part 1 (Darkiplier x reader)

Welcome Home, Part 2 (Darkiplier x reader)

Welcome Home, Part 3 (Darkiplier x reader)

Welcome Home, Part 5 (Darkiplier x reader)

Welcome Home, Part 4 (Darkiplier x reader|| TW: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT / IMPLIED DRUGGING)

Welcome home, Part 6 (Darkiplier x reader||TW: MURDER/IMPLIED LIGHT VIOLENCE)

Pains (Werewolf! Darkiplier x GN! reader || TWs: None)

Gratitude (Jackieboy Man x Reader x Darkiplier) || Part 1 || TWs: None ||

Date night (Darkiplier x reader x Antisepticeye || Polyamorous || TWs: Very light fighting between Dark and Anti, mentions of blood)

Head Engineer Mark (headheartthrob):

Confident (Head Engineer Mark x reader || TWs: Implied spicyness? || Completely SFW ||)

Yancy (#musicaljailbird):

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Annus:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Bingiplier:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

The God of Night:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

The Necromancer:

This Category seems to be empty, check back later!

Septic Egos

Antisepticeye (#moldingmalware):

Panic Attack (Antisepticeye x reader || Platonic || TWs: Panic attack/ mentions of arguing)

Date night (Darkiplier x reader x Antisepticeye || Polyamorous || TWs: Very light fighting between Dark and Anti, mentions of blood)

Jameson Jackson (mutedmuse):

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Chase Brody:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Shawn Flynn:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Jackieboyman:

Gratitude (Jackieboy Man x Reader x Darkiplier) || Part 1 || TWs: None ||

Marvin the magnificent:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Robbie the zombie:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Henrik Von Schneeplestein:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Ethan Nestor's' egos

Blank gameplays:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Unus:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

Mad Mike:

This category seems to be empty, check back later!

I think that should be it for characters. I'll add more to this in the future.

[narbarecker]

since I can't access desktop twitter, I'll have to post my screenshots here.

Twilight Zone S4E8: Miniature [SPOILER WARNING]

>he got fired for... doing his job rather than socializing with the co-workers who don't respect him

the world is cruel to introverts

>maybe if you've been hit as a kid, you wouldn't turn out to be such a loser who takes care of me, your sick naggy mother

nothing ever changes around here :)

>this is the only acceptable way of life and anyone who doesn't follow this rule should be reminded of the FAILURE that they are >raise a family to BE NORMAL garbage, truly why don't we talk about how you're a failure of a mother

>You're fucking sick Charley. Now I'm no psychiatrist, but I know exactly how to fix you, my useless recluse 30-something virgin brother. You need a girl! That will fix ALL of your personality problems! Cuz what can't a little dating and marriage not fix?

She even puts her glasses on before saying that, like she really thinks she's being intelligent lmao SHUT UP MYRA

when ur a man and u don't kiss flirty girls, ur mentally ill when u don wanna fuck, ur MENTALLY ILL

the world is cruel to asexuals :)

plot twist: he really IS delulu

:O!!!!!!! I was genuinely shocked that there's a legit mental health discussion here. Nice.

But seeing Charley look happy raised alarms in my head. I just don't trust anyone who seems to get better after a trip to the psychiatrist. He's either drugged or masking his symptoms.

I WAS RIGHT Charley is literally me :) You always gotta mask so people would leave you alone :D Now I don't agree that he should go and affix himself to the object of his affections like a stalker, but it IS a world he made up, so of course the girl likes him back as the savior from her "loneliness". :)

HAPPY END if everyone can end up in their own made-up world, we can all be happy :D

This is like that projector episode from S1, where the actress retreats to her idealized world where she can be young and happy again.

We don't have that kind of luxury in real life :) There's only expensive drugs and gacha and anime merch.

[magenetratranslations]

東京ダブルジョーカー Tokyo Double Joker

Music/Video: Virgin Noize Illust: Midjorney English Translation: Serene_Snowfal Subs: Kesera Title Font: @yuta_pv on Twitter

Lyrics:

Queen? King?  No, it's all wrong

(ﾟДﾟ)ﾊｧ? オドるJOKER*に、ウタうJOKERァ　覚束ない 修羅麗 KIRA☆KILA★KILA★KILL⇒KILL"A"　怪人連盟 見参！ 謀 紛い物 鬨の声 ノイローゼ　さぁ此処は悪の最前線 無慈悲なり！チョベリ★グー！ (ﾟДﾟ)Huh? A dancing Joker and singing Joker, It’s a shaky scene of carnage and beauty KIRA☆KILA★KILA★KILL⇒KILL"A" You have the honor of meeting the league of freaks! Plans, fakes, battles cries, neurosis- Come, these are the wicked frontlines How merciless! Super Duper Very ★ Good!

AIがなんだってんだ GPT？ 愛が足りないのよ GDP♥ ちっぽけなこのアイデンティティ　 人生ガチャ リセマラ 嘘つきな、キミに捧げよう 091-M*  聴こえるだろ？ もう舞台の幕が上がった Who cares about AI? GPT? There’s not enough love, GDP♥ These identities are miniscule, so let’s reroll the life gacha I offer it up to you, you big liar Can’t you hear the 091-M? The stage curtain has already risen  

マジでホンキでタイパがわるいGAME   デバフばかりのじんせい　通りゃんせ？ ふざけたREAL壊せよ！反逆FAKE Rock 'n' Roll？ Rock 'n' Roll？ 全部台無し、形無し、骨無しSOUL JOKE通じぬ能無し東京（メガロポリス） 　　　 SHOWDOWN！凡てを曝け出して？ キミが引いた手札は？ Queen?  King?  No, it's all wrong This GAME is like seriously a waste of time This life is full of debuffs, shall we proceed? Destroy this shitty REAL! Rebellious FAKE Rock ‘n’ Roll? Rock ‘n’ Roll? Everything is in shambles and ruined, because of a spineless SOUL No JOKE gets through to this incompetent Tokyo (Megalopolis) SHOWDOWN! Will you lay it all bare? What hand did you pull? Queen? King? No, it’s all wrong

再開 右弦 左弦 鼓 Restart Right Strings Left Strings Drum

物理的エラー　接触 間接的エラー　孤独 Physical error - Contact Indirect Error - Solitude

AIがなんだってんだ GPT？ 愛が足りないのよ GDP♥ ちっぽけなこのアイデンティティ　 人生ガチャ リセマラ 嘘つきな、キミに捧げよう 091-M  聴こえるだろ？ もう舞台の幕が上がった Who cares about AI? GPT? There’s not enough love, GDP♥ These identities are miniscule, so let’s reroll the gacha of life I offer it up to you, you big liar Can’t you hear the 091-M? The stage curtain has already risen  

なぁぜ？なぁぜ？ Why is that? Why is that?*

マジでホンキでタイパがわるいGAME デバフばかりのじんせい　通りゃんせ？ ふざけたREAL壊せよ！反逆FAKE Rock 'n' Roll？ Rock 'n' Roll？ 全部台無し、形無し、骨無しSOUL JOKE通じぬ能無し東京（メガロポリス） 　　　 SHOWDOWN！凡てを曝け出して？ キミが引いた手札は？ Queen? King?  No, it's all wrong This GAME is like seriously a waste of time This life is full of debuffs, shall we proceed? Destroy this shitty REAL! Rebellious FAKE Rock ‘n’ Roll? Rock ‘n’ Roll? Everything is in shambles and ruined, because of a spineless SOUL No JOKE gets through to this incompetent Tokyo (Megalopolis) SHOWDOWN? Will you lay it all bare? What hand did you pull? Queen? King? No, it’s all wrong

あー？死んでないですか？ Trick or Trap？ あー…輪廻待ち刹那 Gossip or Drug？ あー！弾ける訳もなく Check or Drop？ さァ！キメるかつてない ストレイトフラッシュ！ Ah? You didn't die? Trick or Trap? Ah… waiting for the moment of Samara, Gossip or Drug? Ah! It’s bursting for no reason Check or Drop? Now behold! A never seen before winning straight flush!

なんでもいーじゃん？ どーでもいーじゃん？ やっぱりいーじゃん？  裏返して? あっちもいーじゃん？ そっちもいーじゃん？ どっちもいーじゃん？ 表無して*？ 奪い尽くせ！踊り尽くせ！しゃぶり尽くせ！愛に尽くせ！ Does it matter what it is? Does it matter what I do? Isn’t it alright after all? Will you flip it over? Is this one good? Is that one good? Aren’t both good? Won’t you entertain me? Steal it all! Dance to your heart’s content! Suck it all down! Give yourself to love!

そして、殺せ and also, kill it

タネ明かしの時間だ、このカードは 憂盗生*（SSR*）限定遊先権 学校なんかじゃあ教えてくれないチート Rock 'n' Roll？ Rock 'n' Roll？ 東京は今日もまた雨のち雨 一撃放つイカサマ 超誇大妄想狂（メガロマニア） SHOWDOWN！凡てを曝け出して？ キミが引いた手札は？ Queen? King?  No, it's all wrong　 The time to reveal my tricks have come, This card is a priority play ticket limited only to the sad student thief It’s a trick that they don’t teach you in school Please tell me a cheat for things like school Rock ‘n’ Roll? Rock ‘n’ Roll? Even today, Tokyo is raining after the rain Shooting off a fake shot, such megalomania (megalomania) SHOWDOWN? Will you lay it all bare? What hand did you pull? Queen? King? No, it’s all wrong

Translator Notes: *Joker is pronounced as Baka, meaning idiot or fool (which I’m sure most you are aware) *091-M is pronounced as the word Requiem *This was a Tik Tok trend in Japan mostly used by girls. basically asking “Why” to already widely known questions in society, and trying to be cute about it. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 *So what's literally written means more of like “There’s no front to this playing” but we’re pretty sure its wordplay with お持て成し (Omotenashi). *This is also wordplay. The japanese word is read like the word 優等生 (Yuutousei) which means something like “Honor student” *In addition to the previous note, it’s read out loud as SSR, which is a term for a really rare card or pull in most gacha games

[johannstutt413]

(@mokagachas said "whoever else wants to", I am whoever else and I wanted to lol)

"Tag game!

Shuffle your favorite playlist and list the first five songs to play!"

I've got 142+ hours of music in one Spotify playset I've had for like 5 years. Gacha moment for real.

Operation Blade (Arknights OST)

Tearin' up My Heart - Radio Edit (*NSYNC)

A Face in the Crowd (Tom Petty)

The Drug In Me Is Reimagined (Falling In Reverse)

A Drop in the Ocean (Ron Pope)

Extending the same offer - anyone who wants to share, tag you're it!

[hassiegfrieddoneanythingwrong]

It's still really funny that Attila in real life history died of a nosebleed soon after taking Ildico (Hildiko) as his newest wife. Died thanks to his diet in 453.

And poor Ildico did nothing to him, despite being blamed for it. Yet the poets used her in part as inspiration for both Gudrun and Kriemhild.

They really went "NO. The scourge of God can't die like that! It's too anticlimactic!" and then made up a new death for him. Or they just believed the popular idea that Ildico killed him in his sleep.

Partially as revenge for the slaughter of the Burgundians in the 430s, which was ordered by Flavius Aetius and undertaken by the Huns.

Best part is that his uncles Rugila and Octar were involved, not him.

...

You know, I'm going to take the advice commonly given by this gacha and stop thinking too hard about it. Because layering legend, history, and adaptations leads to too many holes in the story.

And Fate already has the whole fiction vs reality bit with Charlie and Karl. Plus the multiple textures idea via mythologies that falls apart under scrutiny.

How the fuck did Gudrun marry Altera again when she also married Sigurd after drugging him with a love potion? (In some adaptations, it was her mother who did it. Which makes it more of an unfortunate tragedy.)

...my word, lass may have married the white titan instead!

I don't want to think about how they had kids...

To be fair, Kriemhild (the overall figure) is also possibly inspired by Brunhilda of Austrasia and Fredegund, and looking at the actions those two did, definitely understandable on her actions in the Nibelungenlied. The only thing she and Ildico/Hildako really have in common is "last wife of Attila/Etzel" (poor Ildico 😔).

And dear anon, I'm already ahead on you on the "don't think about it too hard" front and just go with the flow. With how fast and loose the writers (most often Nasu) love to play around with the rules (it's been said or at least heavily implied that Charlie and his Paladins are fictional, yet Astolfo has a catalyst back in Apoc), loving to synch up figures who don't have much of a connection in the first place/barely do have one (Indra and Gozu Tennou, Tamamo and Amaterasu, Kama and Mara, Scáthach and Skadi, Vincent van Gogh and Clytie...), and sometimes just not thinking shit through, it's just best to not take it too seriously.

If any of the writers do decide to take cues from the Nordic versions of the Nibelungenlied (which is rather doubtful, since it's not guaranteed that those have been translated into Japanese) and do bring up the had children with this person thing, it probably would be hand-waved by "alien ways" or something similar.

[aspenkittyy]

Entry #1

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢ ﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉୨♡୧﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉ ୨୧ ꒰ Aspen, Ash ; ?? ꒱ Online name is Aspen, I go by Ash Certified princess ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

If you're Me, and it hasn't been at least a year since I finished writing this, turn AWAY !! >:(( You're not supposed to see this yet!

Read this while listening to Sweater Weather (FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE)

Hello! My name is Aspen. You can call me Ash if you would like. Aspen isn't my real name, but I like it. I don't exactly expect this to be popular, or get a lot of traction. I just need a place to put my thoughts, you know? Maybe when I'm older I can look back at this and poke fun of it. ^_^ So, hi, future me! I guess I should tell you a bit about myself, right? So here is a list of my favorites. :

▄︻デ══━一💥(pew pew!) Ash's favorite things.

Favorite color ∿ dark red

Favorite song ∿ Nice Nice, Dazey and the Scouts

Favorite animal ∿ Fox

Favorite place ∿ Skate City/The Pool

Favorite hobbies ∿ Rollerblading, Music

Instruments I play ∿ Piano, Flute

Favorite shows ∿ Percy Jackson, The Hollow, Black Mirror, Kipo

Favorite characters ∿ Grover Underwood, Kai (The Hollow), Reeve (The Hollow), Wolf (Kipo), Travis Phelps (Sallyface), Larry Johnson (Sallyface)

Favorite movies ∿ Coraline, Boxtrolls, Mean Girls, Heathers

Favorite musicals ∿ Heathers, Mean Girls, Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hanson, Ride the Cyclone

Favorite videogames ∿ Sallyface, Fran Bow, Little Misfortune, DDLC, Roblox, Gacha, Minecraft

Favorite food ∿ Curly fries

Favorite scent ∿ Sweet Escape, Strawberry Picnic, Bath & Bodyworks

Favorite season ∿ Summer 🦋ꦿ

Favorite type of Pet ∿ Dog

Favorite thing about myself ∿ Resourcefulness

Skin status ∿ Acne Prone, on Retinae and Doxy

Crush ∿ No one

Height ∿ 5'1.5

Weight ∿ 103 lbs. (Trying to lose weight)

GPA ∿ 3.75 (Dad and mom say that I am very smart for a girl my age . Yay !)

Favorite thing to say currently ∿ 'I will shank you'

Dream place to live ∿ Rainy Mississippi

Current Goals ∿ Grow my hair out, Make mom happy, Get grades up, Be more patient, lose weight

▄︻デ══━一💥(Pew Pew!) Now, some of Ash's least favorite things.

✶- People who chew with their mouths open

✶- Middle school boys

✶- M.D ex-friend >:(

✶-O.? ex-bf >:(

✶-Getting acne

✶-Selfish people

✶-My oldest sister (Has she moved out yet?)

✶-My room

✶-My mom

✶-Alcohol, Drugs, etc

✶-Being in my room

✶-Not knowing if I am normal or not

✶- Knowing that I am not healthy

✶- Thieves

✶- Snow

✶- Cantaloupe

✶- C.O. It is so BORING here!

✶- Mrs. S. (Drama teacher)

✶- Vomit

✶- Feeling envious

✶- The way I look

✶- French braids

✶-Deadlines

That's it for now.

[roxannarambles]

It is late, my sleep drugs will kick in soon, I am rambling about Indigo Disk. Big huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge spoilers n such

Not gonna talk about Paldean Pals at the moment, that's for a another time. Talking about other complains haha

I dunno how I feel about Kieran going all 'friendship with Ogerpon over, Terapogos my NEW BFF now'

Like, in some ways it makes perfect sense, he's on the rebound. It also implies maybe he never was interested about Ogerpon to begin with, he was mostly just interested in power/strength because of self-esteem issues.

But silly 'ol me, I thought the 2nd DLC might have some kinda emotional resolution between Kieran and Ogerpon. I guess in a franchise that wants to sell games and DLCs though, the suits wanna make it all about the next big exciting Legendary/Mythical, so the 'old' legendary has to be ignored in favor of the shiny new crap. I'm used to seeing that junk in gacha games but jeez, I guess it's not just gacha games, is it?

And don't get me started on Kieran's "resolution" with the Player character. That was weakly done. . . they really whiffed it at the end there. I think his descent into madness was done well enough and had me interested, but when it came to him "snapping out of it," as one character worded it (Drayton, I think?), well, I dunno if that's something you simply 'snap out of.' And they didn't ever give a compelling reason for him to do so, imo. Terapogos rejected him just like Ogerpon did, then he helped us deal with the threat, ok? Not enough of a reason in my mind for him to come to a major realization about himself as a person or about life.

So in the end, when everyone got shoved to the side in favor of Kieran's story arc (Nemona, Arven, Penny, and even Carmine in the 2nd dlc), they didn't even deliver on a satisfying conclusion to that arc, imo.

And as to the whole deeper mystery about Area Zero, wow man, they totally gave up tying ANY of those loose threads, huh? Was it a real time machine or was it Terapogos granting wishes? idk lol who knows. Is the barrier still in place for Area Zero and is there a risk of the Paradox pokemon escaping again (Geeta mentions this as a reason they need more ppl researching the area)? idk Are they gonna keep the Paradox pokemon down there in some kind of top-secret eternal Jurrasic Park? idkkkkk but hey look at the sparkly turtle mythical pokemon!!!!

(Also, what's going to happen now that we shoved the magical wish-granting genie into a pokeball? Well idk but the justification for capturing pokemon gods/demigods has always been on REAL shaky ground ever since Gold/Silver so. I guess I can't complain there. But to be honest it's one of the reasons I do dislike legendary/mythical pokemon)

The artists went OFF on the design of the Lower part of Area Zero tho, that looked super cool. The part with the tree though, it SHOULD have been where we encountered Terapogos. It looked so epic and gorgeous (brassius: avant-garde!) shut up brassius

ok sleep drugs are kicking in big time so byeeeee for now

[lorz-ix]

I have a lot of anger and hatred in my body for corporations who prey on the gullible, the vulnerable, those with gambling addictions, lonely people, those with the propensity to form parasocial relationships and a large et cetera. Those who are close to me know that I'll take any opportunity to complain about how I lost the passion I previously had for some hobbies, often turned into harsh resentment, because the feeling of myself and others being taken advantage of vastly outweighed the enjoyment I got out of it.

However, and I know this might sound like a joke, it all pales in comparison to how I feel about League of Legends.

Sure, it might not have the most exploitative microtransactions or gacha mechanics to milk every last penny from their users, but that game does something different to people. I have this point-by-point thesis of why I think it is uniquely bad, which in all fairness isn't something I think the company in charge does on purpose or could easily fix, but just because there isn't an easy target to blame doesn't mean the game itself isn't a blight on humanity. The thing is, I tried to write an entire explanation down and that shit was a fucking bible so I'll spare you the time and leave that part for another day.

The quick summary: League of Legends is uniquely popular among esports/competitive games, especially with more casual players that normally wouldn't play other games like it. Partly because of that, and because the game's very format favors it, the game is also known for having an insufferably toxic playerbase. If you want the cherry on top, it's also fairly addictive for many.

I've seen a few different tendencies thanks to friends, or people friends of mine are close with, and I wish I magically had the resources to get a widespread study going and check how common this is, since anecdotally to me it seems like it happens way too often. Some people will get hooked on that shit like a drug and show genuine symptoms of addiction, for some players I've noticed League seems to be their "comfort game", which is already concerning, since there's little comfort in being made to compete against other people constantly. But the saddest cases are those of people who maybe work long hours or have a shitty schedule, and one of the few moments of leisure they can get is a match or two with their friends every other night.

Regardless of the circumstance, I've noticed that people who regularly play League not only gradually absorb that toxicity that other players throw at them and become more toxic players themselves, once that process starts to happen, the toxicity spills out to their real life interactions. They seem to be prone to being more bitter, to act worse towards strangers, to focus on people's flaws or even assume them, to dismiss people off of any negative interaction and so on. I've been in group calls with friends where a few of them would start playing League together and immediately the conversation would turn into constant complaining and talking shit. Quite honestly, it's uncomfortable and it gets to a point where I don't even wanna hang out with them if that's what I'm gonna get out of it. The last time it happened I said I wasn't enjoying my time with them if that's how they were acting and one of them said "sorry dude but playing League is what you do to vent and let off your frustrations".

So yeah. Predatory games bad, but there's a special place in hell for the game that has consistently turned regular players and friends of mine into worse people. Fuck League of Legends.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Disclaimer: I don't know how the law works and I am too lazy to actually look things up for now. This is just a concept that's all over the place and I will get into greater detail about it later and correct any misinformation I might have written.

Tw: abduction, stalking, violence, obsessive behavior, toxic relationship, toxic behavior, unhealthy mindset, implied toxic workplace, and this is just everywhere. An idea I wanted to share before I forget. Also mentioned drugging.

Disclaimer #2: I do NOT condone any of the actions or behaviors that take place in this piece of fiction. None of this should be considered romantic or even normal as it is extremely toxic and dangerous. This is NOT a healthy relationship.

=

Another concept of yandere! Streamer! Xiao....

There's just one difference from the one I gave earlier...

You're the voice actor of his favorite character. A limited time character in a gacha (like well... Genshin...). At first he wasn't that interested in you, as a person. Just liked the character you voiced. But then the interviews start to happen and out of pure curiosity, he watches them and he becomes... Interested.

Has this ideal image of you, places you above him for a while. Until the illusion wears off and he realizes that you are just another person. A better person than he is, clearly, because last time he checked... It's not okay to stalk someone's social media, nor is it normal to take screen shots of every picture you have or imagine what you'll he like in person in... Devious ways.

It's normal, yeah, but that doesn't mean it's okay. Because it's not and he knows that but he's too far to even care about what's okay and what's not okay. He's a shut in anyway, only going out for groceries if he needs a breather rather than buying everything on online like he usually does. Everyone needs a break once in a while, even him.

When your character return banner comes around he whales on it. Gets you to full constellation - he has the money and apparently he also has the luck. He streams it and for once he does a voice commentary but still doesn't show his face, and everyone is surprised at how... Calm his voice is. Maybe it's a bit rough but for the most part he sounds monotone... Unless he gets irritated beyond hell. It gets a bit higher when he's excited but it's hard to detect unless you're close to him (like Venti or Hu Tao).

Buys the prints you sign, watches your live streams and videos on YouTube. Buys merch of the character you voice because 1.) He actually likes them and 2.) They remind him of you.

Turns out you're a decent person in real life, have a small group of friends and try to keep your private life secret. How cute, you even wear a disguise when you go out. You even live in the same city as him!

He's not actually that dumb, when it comes to tracking people down. Or when it comes to stalking either. He learned from the best after all, and only the best is allowed when it comes to this stuff. He knows it's not okay to do this, he knows it's not supposed to be normal, he knows he's being a creep, but the way you laugh and smile while eating with your friends is a sight he can't miss out on, you know?

Somehow he manages to convince himself to get close to you. He's a good liar, good at pretending he's not stalking you when he "accidentally" bumps into you on the subway. You're in your disguise and he can see the look of fear on your face when you think your wig fell off but it doesn't and he finds it cute how you apologize for something that's not even your fault.

He seemed like a decent guy, a bit awkward like he's not used to human interaction or talking in general, but that's what makes him somewhat unique. It's what makes you lower your guard around him, once you get to "know" him - it's just by chance that you keep bumping into each other on the streets or in stores.

He's a good listener, listens as you complain about your job. You never tell him the actual details (not that he doesn't know but pretends he doesn't ), just that you barely know what's going on because they never give you the full details. You tell him that nobody takes you seriously because you're the youngest among them and how most of your coworkers are only nice inside the work place or in public. They have to maintain a good image, after all.

He knows how that feels and unlike your coworkers, he doesn't pretend to be a good person. He's tolerant of people but that's about it, and he's only close to very few people. And now you're one of them.

You're surprised to find out he's a fan of you and that his favorite character is the one you voice. You try to keep it hidden though and he pretends that he doesn't notice the shine in your eyes whenever the topic is about the character.

He plays games that you have voice lines in. He streams them too, gotta make that extra money (and also because be genuinely likes gaming... Just not Co op. But sometimes he's forced to by his small friend group and those are the few times he doesn't stream while playing). And again, you're surprised because hey, those are games you voice. But it can just be a coincidence.

Until it doesn't feel like one, anymore.

It happens, one night. He was only supposed to see you off at the subway after a day of you 'dragging' him around. It was a good day and he was happy. But you would be lying if you said it didn't feel... Off.

The sation is empty. He was the one who said he had to leave early but wants to see you off, at least. To make sure you'll be safe and all. But it's a bit weird, how he chooses a time where the station is... Eerily empty and silent. The cameras are also having technical issues which is... Odd. Scary even.

And it happens in a fluid motion.

He's not sure how effective that one drug would be (I cannot spell but it's the one in movies where they place a rag or paper towel over someone's mouth drenched in the drug and they pass out) considering he never uses it, so he hits the pressure point on your neck instead.

You pass out and he well, takes you home. To his home.

When you come back to, you realize you're all... Tied up in a bed, and the room is a bit unorganized but isn't exactly dirty. The covers placed over you smells like Xiao and now you're scared shitless.

Especially when you notice that your disguise is gone. And you can't scream with the duck tape over your mouth, either. You're not naked, at least not yet.

He wants to make it... Comfortable for you, at least a bit. He's not deulisonal and thinks you would be okay with this. He knows you aren't and he's a bit scared himself because the police will look for you soon enough. So he doesn't do anything - if he gets charged with abduction (I don't know the actual name they use for that charge but too lazy to look it up), that's the only thing he's okay being charged with.

And you are forced to watch the news with him, forced to see your face plastered on TV as your close ones and coworkers look for you. Some think that you ran off, with how stressed you've been lately. Others think you were kidnapped.

Most of your stuff was missing too. But it didn't look like anyone broke in and for some reason, your security cameras weren't working. There aren't even any finger prints from a potential kidnapper.

They think they'll find you dead in the river by next week if they don't hurry up. Others think you had enough of it and just ran away, but your friends and family said you wouldn't do that.

Until they bring up the fact your dog is missing too. And where is it?

Cuddling up next to Xiao on the bed while your hands and feet were tied up. He's not an animal abuser and he knows what it feels like to be abandoned... And a dog won't under why it's master left it.

Animals are easier to get along with than humans.

And well, they never find you. Once that news is heard, he forces you to change your appearance, somewhat. Cuts your hair and dyes it, makes you wear contacts if he ever allows you to go outside with him (which is extremely rare), and tells the vet he found the dog at a shelter which... He kinda did.

He didn't kidnapped the dog out right, he just took it and surrendered it to the shelter for a bit before officially adopting it. Of course, when your family found out, they were livid.

But your dog was legally his since you never went to claim it (not that you could). And when the police check the shelter's security camera, they can't make out any details of the person who showed up with the dog. Even the workers there don't remember how the person looked.

And well, now you're stuck with him.

[bitwynn]

Hi! Ill mainly use this blog to post about my kind of maybe incredibly convoluted SAGAU fic. it will be incredibly self indulgent and i will not be surprised if literally noone other than me likes it. I'm okay with that, as im only writing for myself and if my chance you happen to enjoy it? Fucken poggers yo, welcome to the fam

Of course, that doesnt mean i wont post abt other things too-- and theyre all genshin related as well since this IS a genshin brain rot blog.

If you feel like it, feel free to send in asks abt my incredibly specific au and/or fic, or just asks in general. I wont get sick of it, i promise-- i have had that thought everytime i send an ask to a genshin impact fanfic writing blog and id love to brainrot with yall. But, if youre going to ask abt general genshin hcs and things, please do mind that i am not fully into the lore and am still stuck in Liyue as of writing this since im trying to level my characters up to 60 and am as stubborn as a goddamn mule thanks to my gacha game experience. It may take me a while to answer them though, so do keep that in mind as well.

MASTERLIST UNDER CUT (it got. l o n g .)

---

SERIES:

"Behold, (holds up a dead person) a Paimon!" AU

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE (IN THE MAKING)

Playlist for when you're accused of identity theft: SAGAU Impostor AU Songfics

CAST AWAY BY THE WORLD WITH YOU

NOT A FAN

SOMETHING WORTH MORE THAN THIS

ONESHOTS/ONESHOT ADJACENT WRITING:

"Behold!" AU World Study: Living in the spaces between the lines Identity Theft Playlist Snippets: Playlist Clips

HEADCANONS:

GENSHIN HC(?): WEIRD ASS THREATS AND INSULTS AND SWEARS THAT I THOUGHT OF AS GENSHIN CHARACTERS SAGAU HC: FIRST SELF AWARE CHARACTER SAGAU HC: READER AND CYNO HAVING THE SAME SENSE OF HUMOR Identity Theft Playlist HC: WANDERER'S PETNAMES SAGAU HC: WANDERER'S GRIPES ABOUT YOUR INAZUMAN SPEAKING SKILLS Identity Theft Playlist HC: WANDERER'S LIES AND THE REST OF THE "DECEIVERS" REACTIONS GENSHIN HC: TIGHNARI IS A DRUG DEALER Identity Theft Playlist HC: THEIR LIVES BEFORE AND AFTER THE DECEIVER SQUAD SAGAU HC: KAVEH INSIDE YOUR TEAPOT

SHORTS/SNIPPETS/IDEAS:

FUTURE IDEA/AU FOR "Behold!"AU: SUPERHEROES AND SUPERVILLAINS (RB-ED POST) SAGAU IDEA: DND LOGIC IN GENSHIN IMPACT GENSHIN SNIPPET: SHORT ALBELUC DIALOGUE SAGAU FIC IDEA: MONDSTADT VISION HOLDERS PLAY AMONG US SAGAU IDEA: WATCHING HIGH LEVEL GENSHIN GAMEPLAY WITH THE CHARACTERS SAGAU "Behold!" AU POSSIBLE FUTURE SCENARIO: HOW TO FIGURE OUT WHO THE REAL DILUC IS 5WIRL & 4NEMO CRACK SHORT: WHO PERFORMS Eve's "Trap For You" GENSHIN FIC IDEA: DNR MEET CUTE (morbid, i know) GENSHIN SNIPPET: WANDERER NAME SHENANIGANS SAGAU IDEA: CENSORSHIP AND THE "FORBIDDEN WORDS OF THE DIVINE" SAGAU IDEA: THE ABYSS SIBLING AND THEIR ENDLESS POTENTIAL SAGAU IDEA: CONTROLLING THE CHARACTERS AND MAKING THEM FIGHT THEIR BOSS VERSIONS (RB-ED POST) SAGAU IDEA: BOOKWORM READER SHENANIGANS (RB-ED POST) SAGAU SNIPPET: GOD READER WITH A 4-YEAR OLD'S HUMOR (RB-ED POST) SAGAU IDEA: WANDERER IN THE REAL WORLD SAGAU IDEA: CARD GAME MASTER READER SHENANIGANS SAGAU IDEA: INTEGRATING ATLA ELEMENT BENDING INTO GENSHIN SAGAU IDEA: WINDTRACE IS JUST PRACTICE IMPOSTOR AU SONGFIC IDEA: KAVEHTHAM NO CHILDREN

MY RAMBLINGS: Check out #nic talks

---

I'd love to hang out with yall and hope you have as much fun as me with this whole thing. Thanks for your time :))

[pintsizemama]

Heroes & Heartbreak

Chapter 5

Summary: Search Bloc is formed. The DEA agents scramble to get rid of their communist informant after a threat from Wysession. Intel from Navegante sends Ari and Javi after the infamous Gacha. Ari and Javi still pine for each other, but stubbornly refuse to talk about their drunken night out…until it becomes too much for Javier to handle.

Pairings: Javier Peña x OFC Ariana Morgan—DEA Agent and daughter of Pablo Escobar

Fandom: Narcos

Rating: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 8,323

Warnings: language, pining, angst, talk of leaving a woman at the altar, murders, violence, (discussions of: sex, masturbation (m & f), blow job, torture, and rape), self deprecating talk and thoughts, stereotypes of marriage, sex for information, misogyny, gunshot wound, threats, kissing, love marks, heated fight, screaming...let me know if I missed anything, and I’ll happily add it here!

A/N: This chapter is set during events of Season 1, Episodes 5 and 6. I used the subtitles to pull the Spanish discussions since they talk fast and quiet and Google translate to check my added dialogue since my Spanish is very rusty. Please, please, please let me know if any of it needs correcting. We’re getting closer to these two idiots finally giving in to their feelings!!!

Chapter 4   Chapter 6 Series Masterlist   Masterlist   AO3 Join my taglist

Javier

It turned out that Ari’s suggestion that Carrillo threaten to resign was a good one. As predicted, his superiors would not stand for it. They gave in to his demands for incorruptible men and Search Bloc was formed. Javi and Ari witnessed some of the training and were impressed with what the Colonel had put together. For the first time, they all felt like they had a real shot at making this work. While Search Bloc was forming and training things were relatively quiet. They were still trying to figure out how the hell to get Elisa out of town. Javier and Ari were working quietly in their office while Steve was off in the records room. There was a knock on their open door and they looked up to see Lou Wysession looming in their doorway.

“They just picked up that commie priest, Father Sobrino,” he told them. Ari felt her stomach drop. “He’s gonna talk. And when he does, I hope you DEA boys...and girl,” he added, eyeing Ari, “understand what’s important in this hemisphere.” Javi looked at him, a bit cockily.

“Well, how about you, uh...clue us in?” He leaned back in his chair. Ari had no idea how he managed to look like such a smug asshole sometimes.

“Drug dealers,” Wysession told him, “I mean, as bad as they are, they want your money. Communists want everything. I don’t know about you, Peña, but I...I like to own shit.”

“Right,” Javier said with a smirk. “Well, good talk, Lou. Very, uh...enlightening.”

“Yeah,” he said turning to leave, then turning back. “Oh...this...priest? If it comes out that he was your informant and you protected him...I’m gonna make sure you’re tried for treason.” He left and Javi’s horrified face met Ari’s. She quickly moved to his desk.

“Javi,” she whispered. “We have to get her out of here now.” He nodded, his mind working rapidly.

“I’ll see if I can get an embassy ID made up for her,” he said after a moment. “That should work to get her through any checkpoints or roadblocks along the way.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“I’ll talk to Colleen...she’s helped me out with a few things before. I just have to turn on the charm.” Ari looked skeptical.

“This is a pretty big ask, Javi.”

“I’ll handle it. I can be very persuasive.”

“Alright,” she told him, “but you better get this taken care of. I don’t care if you have to spend the whole weekend fucking Colleen’s brains out. Get that damn ID.”

“Jesus, Ari,” Javi muttered. “I’m not gonna fuck Colleen.”

“You will if that’s what it takes to get the ID. Lou wants to take you down for this. He’s like a dog with a fucking bone. Get the ID, and get this woman out of our lives.” He nodded.

“I’m gonna head down there and get the ball rolling,” he told her, standing up.

“Wait!” Ari stopped him. She started unbuttoning his shirt.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he rasped in surprise, his hands coming up to stop hers.

“Undo a few more of these,” she told him, unbuttoning the first four buttons on his shirt. “Trust me, you look really sexy when your shirt is like this. It’ll melt that poor girl’s heart.” Javi felt his body heat up at her words and the feeling of her exposing his body. As promised, neither of them had brought up the night at the bar, but Javier couldn’t stop thinking about it. He could still feel her lips on his.

“There,” she said, adjusting his shirt. She took a step back and eyed him up and down. “Wait...” she reached up and mussed his hair a bit, making him looked more rugged. “Yeah, that’s perfect...very sexy.”

“Really? You think I’m sexy?” Ari rolled her eyes.

“Of course, Javi, you’re literally sex personified. Now get outta here and get that ID.” She couldn’t resist smacking him on the ass on his way out. He jumped and looked back at her. She bit her lip and shot him a cheeky grin. He didn’t know what had gotten into her, but he fucking liked it. He walked briskly towards Colleen’s desk, trying to calm the raging hard on that was pressing uncomfortably against the zipper of his jeans. He just hoped no one else would notice. He came back to the office twenty minutes later. Steve was back. Ari looked up expectantly when he walked in. He gave her a nod, letting her know it was taken care of. Colleen was going to make the ID. It was only a matter of time before this was all just a bad memory. He sat at his desk and went to work. They were all snapped out of their thoughts when the phone rang.

“Peña,” he said into the phone. He listened for a moment. “Alright,” he looked down at his watch. “We can make that work.” He hung up the phone.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked.

“Navegante has some information for us,” Javi said. “Wants to meet up tonight.” Steve nodded.

“Good,” he sighed. “It’s been dead around here this week. Maybe he can give us something useful.” A couple more hours passed, and then it was time to leave for the meeting.

“About that time,” Javi said, standing from his desk. The three of them grabbed their guns out of their desks. “I’ll drive.”

An hour later they were sitting in Javier’s Jeep waiting for Navegante. Steve rode shotgun. Ari was in the back, stretched out. The rain was coming down around them, thunder rolling in the distance. They were drinking beer and chatting to pass the time. Navegante was usually late to these meetings.

“So, did you have to rock Colleen’s world, Javi?” Ari asked him with a grin. She hoped no jealousy seeped into her voice. Ever since their kiss, she couldn’t get Javier off her mind. He scoffed.

“No, I told you I’m very charming,” he said cockily. “All it took was some master flirting, and she was putty in my hands.” Ari chuckled.

“Poor girl,” she mused. “She should have held out a bit, made you really work for it.”

“What are you two talking about?” Steve asked.

“Colleen is making some documentation to get Elisa out of the city,” Javi told him.

“Yeah, and Javi said he wouldn’t sleep with her for it,” Ari told him. “Can you believe that Steve? He would let us go to jail instead of just giving poor Colleen a few hours of his time.” She shook her head. Steve laughed.

“What do you have against Colleen?” He asked Javi.

“Nothing,” he ground out, getting annoyed at the conversation. “Despite what everyone thinks I don’t fuck every woman I know.”

“Oh we know that, Javi,” Ari told him with a grin. “I mean you haven’t fucked me and, well as far as I know, you haven’t fucked Noonan.” Javi shuddered at that thought.

“That would never happen,” he told her. “And I haven’t fucked you...yet.” He tossed casually over his shoulder. Ari laughed.

“Oh, someone is awfully optimistic,” she told him. She didn’t want to tell him how easily he could get into her pants. Her resolve was hanging by a thread at this point.

“It’s only a matter of time, querida,” he said with a smirk. “You can’t resist me. What was it you said...I’m sex personified?” Steve laughed.

“Did you actually say that, Ari?” He turned to look at her. She shrugged.

“I stand by what I said,” she told them, looking out the window. “But I’m still not fucking you, Peña. I’m not looking to ruin what we have for a one night stand.” Despite her desire, she really did mean what she said. She didn’t want to risk their partnership.

“And we all know that’s all you’re capable of,” Steve told him.

“I almost got married once, you know,” he told them suddenly. He didn’t know why he was bringing up Lorraine, but he wanted them to know he hadn’t always been a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy.

“What?” They both half shouted. “What happened?” Steve asked. Javi sighed.

“I was driving to the church,” Javi said. “Was with my buddy John. He was my best man. We were late.” He let out a sigh. “It was fucking blazing outside, hundred and ten degrees. Whole bridal party was there, sweating their balls off, I’m sure. And all of a sudden, I stopped the car.” Ari heard Steve’s almost strangled chuckle.

“Please don’t tell me you left her at the altar,” Steve said.

“I don’t know if she actually made it to the altar,” Javier told him. Ari stared at him in amazement. She couldn’t believe Javier had almost gotten married. Steve laughed.

“Well, you saved her a lifetime of hell,” Steve told him.

“Yeah, she forgave me,” Javi said. “Eventually. Married a stockbroker from Dallas.” Steve hummed. “Randy...I think.” Javi got quiet for a moment and the said, “Trust me, she’s better off.” Ari felt a lump in her throat at those words. Javier thought so little of himself sometimes.

“I don’t know,” she told him. “I think she got a shit deal in that breakup...suburbia with a stockbroker? White picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog? PTA meetings and bake sales? No thanks. I’ll take chasing down sicarios and living life. Besides, if half of what I hear through the wall at night is real—and not embellished to make sure you get your money’s worth—I’d have to venture that you’re much better in bed than ‘Randy’”—she practically sneered his name—“ever could be.” Javi turned to look at her. “She would have been lucky to end up with you, Javi. Don’t doubt that. You’re way more awesome than you think.” He flushed under her praise. “You probably dodged a bullet anyway. Can you imagine that life? Stuck in the town you grew up in...sitting around at a barbecue complaining about your wives...probably sexually frustrated as all hell.”

“Sexually frustrated?” Javi questioned.

“Well, sounds like she was pretty vanilla...married a vanilla guy,” Ari explained. “She probably has a lot of ‘headaches’...You would have been lucky to get a laid once every couple of months and maybe a blowjob on your birthday. Probably would have spent a lot of time fucking your fist in the shower.”

“Jesus, Ari,” Steve murmured. “Why don’t you tell us what you really think?” Ari laughed.

“I’m just telling you what I’ve heard from most of the married women I know,” she said with a shrug.

“Connie not satisfied?” Javi said with a smirk.

“Fuck off,” Steve grumbled.

“Connie’s just fine,” Ari argued.

“You guys talk about that shit?’ Steve asked in horror.

“Of course,” Ari answered. “Don’t worry. You keep her plenty happy, tiger.” Steve blushed and looked away.

“Lorraine was never very...adventurous in the bedroom,” Javi said quietly. “Hell, I just barely broached the subject of anal, and she suggested we go to church counseling.”—Steve sputtered as he sipped his beer—“And you’re right, Ari. She did come up with a lot of excuses. Never knew why either. I always made sure she came.”

“Told you,” Ari said with a smile. “You’re better off. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

“What? Stuck in a car half drunk with the two of us?” Steve said with a laugh.

“Exactly,” Ari agreed, chuckling. Javi smiled at the two of them. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. “We’re your soulmates, Peña. You might as well accept the inevitable.” Javi laughed.

“I could do a lot worse than you two, hermosa,” he said with a big smile. Ari was glad she had managed to pull him out of the funk he had started to fall into at the mention of his failed engagement. Just then they saw a car approaching in the rain.

“What if Father Sobrino talks?” Steve whispered suddenly. They wouldn’t admit it, but they were all terrified of what could happen.

“He’s gonna talk,” Javier said.

“We’ll handle it,” Ari assured them. The rest of the conversation was cut short as their informant got into the car. Turns out the information wasn’t just good, it was fucking great. Navegante was going to get them Gacha. Ari knew Javi had a bit of a score to settle with that psychopath. Steve had told him a story about one of Javi’s informants and what Gacha had let his men do to her. Back at the embassy the ambassador agreed to allow Javi to go to Cartagena in an observatory capacity. She needed Steve in Bogotá, but she decided Ari should accompany Javier. Before they left, Colleen came through with the ID. They promised Steve if he got Elisa out of Bogotá, they would take down Gacha.

Javier

The next week, Ari and Javi made it to Cartagena. They met with Carrillo and Navegante. As soon as Ari saw Carrillo she ran up and hugged him tightly. He seemed taken aback for a moment before returning the embrace. She pulled back and looked at him.

“What was that for, princesa?” He asked her.

“We heard about the attempt on your life,” she told him. “I’m just happy to see you here alive and well.” Escobar had sent someone to kill the colonel while he was on a date with his wife. All he managed to do was kill his bodyguard...and piss Carrillo off. Javier knew Ari hadn’t spoken to Carrillo since before the attack. He had watched helplessly while they waited for news to come in. Ari had been absolutely terrified. Steve and Javi had tried to keep her busy, keep her calm, while they waited. Once they knew their friend was alright, she settled down. Carrillo smiled at her.

“Believe me,” he told her, cupping the side of her face for a moment, “so am I.” Javier felt a spike of jealousy. He wanted to feel Ari in his arms again...and to see her embrace another man…he quickly tamped down his anger. He was not a possessive man. He never minded sharing. He encouraged women to have a healthy sex life. This was uncharted territory for him. It made him feel unsettled. He hated it. The four of them huddled around to look over the map. Navegante pointed out where Gacha was located and warned them that he had a lot of men guarding him. Carrillo seemed skeptical. He asked why Navegante why was turning on his employer. He knew the reward money was far less than the cartel had given him over the years. As Navegante left he told them Gacha was crazy and would get them all killed. Carrillo and Javi started to argue over the sicario’s motives. Ariana quietly pulled the map from Javi’s hands and made her way over to the open door to further study the layout of the area.

“That’s the real victory,” Javi told him Carrillo. He had just told him they needed to take Gacha alive because he feared prison, not death.

“Right, I forgot you’re a gringo,” Carrillo responded.

“What’s that supposed to mean?’

“What are you risking?” Carrillo asked. “These aren’t your men. You have no family here to lose.” At that, Javi’s gaze turned to Ari, standing by the door, engrossed in the map. Something must have showed on his face because Carrillo stiffened.

“Maybe you do have something to lose after all,” Carrillo said quietly. Javier’s head whipped back towards Carrillo. The two men stared at each other for a moment. Javi sighed and looked away. He was worried what Carrillo was thinking when it came to him and Ari. He hadn’t meant to give anything away, but when the colonel said he had nothing to lose, he couldn’t help but look at her. He could lose her. She was going to be there with him. Right in the line of fire. He couldn’t stand the thought of anything happening to her. He didn’t know that Carrillo was having similar concerns.

“Well, I trust his information,” Javier said finally. Carrillo watched him closely.

“And I trust you,” he said. “But if this turns out bad...it’ll be on your conscience.” He glanced at Ari, then back to Javier. “We will keep her safe.” Javi’s gaze snapped to him. “I don’t want to lose her either, amigo.” Ari came back over. She noticed the crease between Javi’s brows and the slight pout of his lips.

“Uh oh,” she said. Javier turned to look at her. “I know that look. What did he do to piss you off?” She jerked her head towards Carrillo. Javi stared at her beautiful face for a moment and then sighed.

“Why do you always assume the worst of me, princesa?” Carrillo said.

“Because it’s usually accurate,” she teased, grinning at him. He couldn’t help but smile back.

“Carrillo doesn’t trust Navegante’s motives,” Javier told her.

“He’s been with Gacha a long time,” Carrillo insisted. “Navegante is known for his loyalty. It doesn’t make sense that he would turn on him.”

“That’s because he works for Cali, not Gacha,” Ari said simply. The two men looked shocked.

“What?” Javier said.

“I did some digging after we met with him,” she told Javi. “I didn’t trust his motives either. He was planted by the Cali cartel to spy on Escobar.”

“And how did you get this intel?” Carrillo asked, a frown on his handsome, stoic face.

“From Navegante,” she said with a shrug. “I met up with him in a bar in Bogotá.”

“And he offered you information just like that?” Javi pressed, worried about how she had gotten this incredibly dangerous man to spill such good intel.

“Well, it took a little persuading, but he came around. Honestly, he seemed eager to share with me.” Javi and Carrillo looked pissed.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Javi hissed.

“What?” She didn’t get why they were upset. She had gotten some damn good intel.

“He could have killed you, princesa!” Carrillo scolded her.

“I knew that was a possibility,” she said. “I was armed, and I know how to handle myself.”

“And what did he want in return for this intel?” Carrillo asked her. She looked away, for just a moment, but it was enough to to send both men’s blood pressure soaring.

“Ariana,” Javi said through clenched teeth. “Please don’t tell me you fucked a sicario.”

“No, just a blow job in the alley behind the bar,” she deadpanned. When the two men looked like they believed her she scowled. “Fucking Christ, I’m kidding,” she huffed out a breath. “Do you really think I would do that?” The men stared at her, silent. “You know fucking your informants isn’t the only way to get intel.” Javier scowled. “Nah uh, don’t you dare give me that look, Peña. You just asked if I fucked a goddamn sicario for information. Meanwhile you fuck everything with a pussy in Colombia. You don’t get to be pissed.”

“So then what did you offer?” Carrillo asked again.

“I may have insinuated that we would be more…amenable to sharing intel with him in the future…to assist Cali if needed,” Ari said in a low voice. When the men frowned at her she quickly continued. “I’m not actually going to help them. Not really. We can give them small bullshit to keep them satisfied. Nothing important.”

“Why are you just telling us this now?” Carrillo said sternly.

“Because I didn’t want a fucking lecture,” she gritted out. Javi could see she was irritated with both of them. “You guys pull this kind of bullshit all the time. But because I’m a woman, everyone gives me crap for it. Cali wants Pablo gone just as much as us. They’re not about to send us into a trap. Besides, when has Navegante’s intel ever not panned out?” They stared her down, thinking over everything she had just told them. She was panting slightly in her anger, and Javi loved how it made her breasts swell just a bit more than usual.

“You’re right,” Carrillo agreed finally. “If Escobar is gone, Cali becomes number one.” He looked at Ari with admiration. “Good work. You impress me more and more every time we interact.”

“Colonel, you’re gonna make me blush” she teased. He smiled at her. She was rapidly becoming one of his favorite people. He pushed off the car and walked out.

“You ready for this?” Javi asked her suddenly.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m ready.” He could see she was itching to ask him what was wrong. Ari read him so well sometimes—it was unsettling. “Javi?”

“Hmm?” He answered, not meeting her eyes. She placed her hand on the side of his face and turned it towards her. “What’s wrong?” Javi reached up and cupped her hand on his face. He wanted to take just a moment to relish the feel of her skin on his. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. Ari waited patiently. For just a moment Javier let his walls come down. He breathed her in and opened his eyes. He heard her gasp at the pain swirling in them. He wanted to let her in. Let her heal him, make him whole, but he couldn’t. Just as quickly as he had opened up to her, the walls were back up. He pulled her hand off his face and held it by his side.

“Nothing,” he told her. “Just hoping this works out.” Ari looked up at him with those beautiful, innocent eyes. She nodded.

“Ok, Javi,” she whispered. She squeezed his hand lightly and let it go. “We’re gonna get this asshole. I promise.” He knew she could he wasn’t telling her the truth, but she wouldn’t press him. Javier Peña was not a man who could be forced to do anything he didn’t want to, and Ari understood him better than anyone had in a long time.

Late that night they arrived at Gacha’s villa. Carrillo and a couple of his men went in first to clear. Ariana and Javier came in behind them, followed by the rest of the soldiers. Everything was dark and quiet. Someone was sitting in a chair on the terrace, wearing Gacha’s hat. Carrillo, Javi, and Ariana approached. They saw a young woman with a bullet hole in her head.

“Se nos escapó,” (He got away) Carrillo said. “Mataron a la maldita criada.” (They killed the goddamn maid) Ari looked at the poor woman and felt the familiar burn of anger in her chest. This woman didn’t deserve this. She glanced up at Javier. His eyes were fixed on the maid. She could practically feel his guilt. Javi always took the deaths of innocents hard.

“Coronel,” Trujillo called out, approaching the trio. “Coronel. Llamaron de un retén. Tienen un carro varado y dicen que quien lo maneja es un senador de la República.” (Colonel. They called from the road block. They have a car stopped, and they’re saying the driver’s a senator)

“¿Tiene sus papeles?” (Does he have his identification) Carrillo asked.

“Todo está al día, señor.” (Everything checks out)

“Pues ¿cuál es el problema?” (So what’s the problem)

“Hallaron en el baúl una metralleta, señor,” (They found a machine gun in the trunk) Trujillo said.

“Llévame,” (Let’s go) Carrillo said, following Trujillo out the door. Javier was still looking at the maid. He turned away and rested his hands on the railing, his body taught with tension. Ari waited for him. He needed to process it quickly and get his head back in the game. He pushed off the railing, and they followed the Colombians to the road block.

Ariana

“No le creo nada,” (I don’t believe him) Javier said softly. The man claiming to be a senator was being...difficult. He had been arguing and threatening them for detaining him. Carrillo had just pulled Ari and Javier away for a moment to discuss their next move.

“Yo tampoco,” (I don’t either) Carrillo agreed.

“Esos papeles los compró,” (He could have bought his credentials) Javi speculated.

“Escobar tenía un montón de credenciales falsas en una de sus casas en la que me mantuvieron,” (Escobar had a ton of false credentials at one of his houses I was kept in) Ari shared. “Sus hombres venían regularmente para agarrar a otros nuevos, haciéndose pasar por policías, funcionarios del gobierno. Parecía que era una ocurrencia bastante común.” (His men would come regularly to grab new ones, posing as cops, government officials. It seemed like it was a pretty common occurrence.)” Carrillo seemed to think over what she said.

“Pero ¿si sale que sí es un senador?” (What if it turns out he is a senator) Carrillo offered. “Eso me va a costar caro. Yo no puedo correr ese riesgo.” (We’ll pay for that. I can’t run that risk) Javi nodded. He seemed to be contemplating something.

“Es cierto,” (It’s true) Javier said. He paused for a moment, seeming to make up his mind. “Tú no puedes.” (You can’t) Ari heard him cock his gun. Javier turned and fired a shot into the ‘senator’s’ leg. He strode forward and knelt down beside the man. He grabbed him by the back of the head, and put the gun to his face.

“¡El próximo te lo meto en la cabeza!” (The next one goes in your head) he yelled.

“¡Esta bien, está bien!” (All right, all right) The wounded man pleaded.

“¡Habla maricón!” Javier shouted at him.

“¡Voy a hablar, voy a hablar!” (I’ll talk, I’ll talk) Ari stood in amazement. She had never seen Javier in action like this. He was brutal and effective. She hated to admit it, but it was really hot. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she watched her partner work. The man told them they could find Gacha in Tolú. They were wrapping everything up when Ari noticed Carrillo kept looking at her. She sighed and approached him.

“Something on your mind, Colonel?” she asked him. He stared at her for several seconds.

“You did better than I thought you would today,” he told her. She raised a questioning eyebrow. “You didn’t even flinch when Peña shot that man. First time Murphy witnessed our methods he had the typical gringo reaction.” Ari chuckled softly.

“Yeah, he was still holding that grudge after I came into the picture,” she told him, remembering the argument Steve and Javi had before Barry Seal was killed. “I was dealing with the cartels down in Mexico for awhile before I came here. These ‘interrogation’ methods are not new to me.” He seemed to pale slightly, and she saw him swallow when she mentioned interrogations.

“Don’t do that,” she warned him. “I told you to stop feeling guilty for what you did to me.”

“I can’t help it, princesa,” he told her quietly. “I’ve tortured and killed countless men. I’ve done unspeakable things...things that would horrify most people. But what I did to you...it’s something I will always regret.”

“Horacio,” she said softly. His eyes met hers. She hated that he still beat himself up over their first interaction.

“I have come to admire and respect you so much, Ari,” he told her. “I trust you, and I consider you to be a friend, not just someone I work with. I hate myself for hurting you. I can still hear your screams...it tortures me.” Ari swallowed past the lump in her throat. She hated to see her friend in pain.

“All I can do is tell you that I feel the same, Horacio,” she said gently. “I have so much respect for you, and I do trust you. You, Steve, and Javi are the only people in this country I do trust. With my life.” She paused, seeing him start to relax at her words. “You know I don’t just see you as someone I work with either, Horacio. You’re my friend…one of the closest I’ve had in a long time.” He smiled at her, finally letting the tension go. She reached out and squeezed his hand quickly to reassure him.

“You really do surprise me though, princesa,” He told her after a moment. “Every time we go out and do something like this…I know what a good agent you are, but you are also so kind and gentle. I really didn’t think you would be cut out for all this.” He gestured his hand to the scene around them.

“I keep a part of myself separate for this job,” she told him. “When I’m in the field, I’m a different person. I have to be. Otherwise there’s no way I could do it.” Carrillo nodded. He knew that all too well. She started to walk away, then paused.

“Besides,” she added, over her shoulder, “when it comes to all this,” she gestured around them, “no matter how much I fight it, I am Pablo Escobar’s daughter. This kind of savagery is in my blood.” She didn’t realize Javier heard the exchange. She saw his shocked expression. She almost never brought up the fact that Escobar was her father.

“Hey,” she said as she reached him. “That was pretty impressive, Agent.”

“Eh,” he shrugged. “We needed intel. I got it.”

“Don’t downplay it,” she chided him. “You’re one hell of an agent. Quite a few of the guys I worked with in Mexico never would have had the balls to pull that off. Don’t sell yourself short, Javi.” She looked around and noticed they were pretty much alone, most of the officers having left. “And I don’t just mean about your work.” Javier looked confused. “The other day, when we were waiting for Navegante—you told us about your former fiancé.” Javier looked uncomfortable, not sure where she was going with this.

“You said she was better off,” Ari said quietly. “I meant what I said. She would have been lucky to be your wife. You don’t realize how amazing you are, do you?” Javi’s eyes snapped to her. “You’re a good man, Javier Peña. I know you’ve done bad shit, but fuck, we all have. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I really wish you could see that.” With that, she walked out of the villa. Javier stared after her, speechless.

Ariana

It took a couple days to make the arrangements for the raid in Tolú. The hideout was pretty remote, so Search Bloc set up a small camp a few miles south. They had a couple hours left before the raid.

Ari was laying on the cot in her tent, staring at the ceiling. She was thinking about Javier. She always seemed to be thinking about Javier now. Not even sleep helped her escape. He had become a regular in her nightly dreams…her very dirty, erotic nightly dreams. Just two nights ago she had the most vivid dream of him pinning her to the bed by her throat as he fucked her so hard and deep she almost blacked out—nope, no, she wasn’t going to think about that right now. She sighed heavily, her sexual frustration mounting to a distracting level. She hadn’t been able to…’take care’ of her problem for days since she was sleeping in a tent within ear shot of a couple dozen men.

“What are you thinking about that has you frowning like that,” Javi asked. She jolted in surprise. She had been so deep inside her thoughts she hadn’t realized Javi had come into her tent. He laughed at her shock.

“Nothing,” she answered with a sigh.

“Now I know that’s a lie,” he teased.

“How’s that?” She asked.

“You think too loud,” he said gruffly. “Always have.”

“Oh really?” She said, rolling to her side and pushing up on one elbow. “And just what am I thinking about so loudly?” Javi walked in and sat on the chair across from her cot.

“Knowing you, you’re overthinking the plans for the raid,” he guessed. “Probably running it through your mind, step by step, looking for possible problems.” Ari grimaced when she realized that before Javier came into the picture, that’s exactly what she would have been thinking about right now. Always hyper focused on the job. Instead she was lusting after a man she couldn’t have. Javi saw her grimace and smiled.

“Or you’re imagining how good my dick would feel in your tight pussy while I rail you into next week,” he threw out unexpectedly. Ari couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped her lips. She reached back and grabbed her pillow and threw it at his head.

“You wish, asshole,” she said with a laugh.

“Oh, I do, hermosa,” he groaned, tossing the pillow back to her. “I really fucking do.” It got uncomfortably quiet after his comment. The buzzing of the mosquitos outside was almost deafening in the silence.

“Ari,” Javi began, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night—”

“—No,” Ari cut him off. “We promised we wouldn’t talk about it.”

“Well, I’m fucking talking about it,” Javi said as he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. She sighed and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the cot.

“I can’t have this conversation with you,” Ari said stubbornly.

“Why not?” He pressed. “I’m distracted. This isn’t good, Ari. With what we’re dealing with on a daily basis, distractions get you killed.”

“What the fuck do you want me to do about it?” She said angrily.

“I don’t know,” he shot back, scraping his hand through his hair in frustration. “Fuck, I just—I don’t know what we do here. Normally I would just fuck it out of my system, but that’s not an option for us.”

“Peña, you do plenty of fucking,” Ari said with a wince. “No reason you should be hung up on me. Can’t you just see one of your many girls?”

“It’s not the same, and you fucking know it,” Javi growled.

“How is it not the same, Javi?” She asked softly. “I’m just a woman. There are literally millions out there just like me. At the end of the day a pussy is a pussy, right?” She hated the words coming out of her mouth, but she didn’t delude herself into believing she was anything special to the man in front of her. She was just someone he hadn’t had—or more importantly, couldn’t have. “You just want what you can’t have…I’m nothing special.”

“Jesus, do you really believe that, Ari?” Javi asked with wide eyes. He got up and moved to sit next to her.

“What are you doing, Javi?” Ari whispered. He cupped her face.

“You’re not just any woman, Ari,” Javi said huskily. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. Believe me, if fucking another woman could take my mind off of you, it would have worked by now.”

“Why are you saying this?” Ari pushed. She was getting lost in the warm brown depths of his eyes. His scent—sandalwood and tobacco, with a hint of leather—was so inviting. She wanted to burrow into his chest.

“Because I want you to know you are important to me,” he whispered, running his thumb along her bottom lip. “I keep fighting this because you fucking matter to me. I don’t want to fuck this up…but I can’t stop thinking about how you tasted…or how amazing you felt straddling me…or how badly I want to push you down on this cot and make you scream my fucking name.”

“Javi,” she murmured, “I—we shouldn’t—” Javi leaned down, his lips barely brushing hers, his mustache tickling her deliciously.

“Then stop me, querida,” he whispered against her mouth. “If you don’t want this, push me away, and I’ll never bother you again.” Ari knew she should push him away. She knew it. But her stupid body overruled her brain once more, and she pressed her lips to his. He moaned and deepened the kiss immediately.

“Fuck, baby, you taste better than I remember,” he groaned against her lips. He dragged his mouth down to her neck, nipping and sucking all along her throat. Ari was losing herself again, and this time she couldn’t blame it on the alcohol. Dammit, Javier Peña was a great fucking kisser. Part of her had hoped her drunken mind had overplayed his expertise, but nope. This smug son of a bitch was incredible.

His lips were soft and warm and sent tingles all over her body each time they brushed her skin. His large, calloused hands gripped her body with such skill and passion. He tangled one in the hair at the back of her neck, pulling slightly to give him better access to her throat. She moaned when he sucked a mark just below her ear. Her hands came up to grip the front of his shirt, grounding herself in the sea of pleasure she was rapidly being swept away in.

“Fuck, you had to be good at this, huh?” She groaned as his hand came up to cup her breast.

“Did you think I wouldn’t be?” Javi asked, sucking another mark near her clavicle.

“I hoped you were just a cocky asshole, like most men,” she muttered, pulling a few buttons on his shirt open so she could reach her hands inside and touch his hot, bronzed skin. “Every guy thinks he’s the best fuck you’re ever gonna get…but most of them are two pump chumps who suck at kissing and couldn’t find the clitoris if you drew them a fucking map.”

“And you thought I was one of those men?” Javi asked as he pulled away slightly.

“No,” Ari admitted. “Just for my own sanity, I hoped you were.”

“And why is that, querida?” Javi murmured as he pulled her shirt over her head. He pushed her down on the cot and settled himself on top of her. He kissed her deeply before she pulled away to answer him.

“Because with you…looking the way you do, and us seeing each other all the time…well, it would just be easier if you’re a bad lay, alright?” Javi laughed—a genuine, deep laugh.

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, hermosa, or well, I guess sorry I won’t be disappointing you,” he quipped. “This is one of the things I’m very”—he kissed her collar bone—“very”—a kiss to the top of her breast, just above her bra—“very”—another kiss between her breasts—“good at.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Ari said with no malice in her voice. She threaded her hands through his thick hair.

“Yes, but I’m an asshole who’s gonna make you come,” Javi murmured against her chest. He surged back up and claimed her mouth again. He reached behind her to unhook her bra. Just as he was about to undo the clasp they heard footsteps approaching the outside of the tent.

“Princesa,” Carrillo called from the other side of the flap. “We’re almost ready to go.” Ari pushed Javi back, sat up, and grabbed her shirt. They had the worst fucking luck. She was starting to think some higher being was intervening to restrain their libidos when they were too weak to do it themselves.

“Alright,” she hollered back.

“Have you seen Peña?” Carrillo asked. Ari pulled her shirt over her head and quickly smoothed her hair. She shot Javi a look, and he buttoned his shirt.

“Yeah, he’s in here,” Ari told Carrillo. “Just going over the plan one more time.” They emerged from the tent to see Carrillo standing with his hands on his hips. He looked them up and down. He reminded Ari of a disapproving father who caught his teenage daughter and her boyfriend making out in a car.

“All set?” Javi asked. Carrillo stared him down for several long, intense seconds. Javi swallowed and shifted on his feet.

“Yes,” Carrillo answered. Javi nodded and walked off to his tent to grab his gear. Carrillo and Ari watched him go.

“So, think we’ll catch Gacha this time?” Ari asked.

“Do you have a different shirt?” Carrillo questioned suddenly. When Ari looked confused, Carrillo continued. “A different shirt, princesa,” he replied. “One that may cover that.” He pointed to her collarbone. Ari gasped when she saw the bruise Javi’s mouth had left. “Your hair should be able to cover the one on your neck.”

“Fuck,” Ari swore violently. Carrillo grinned.

“Get lucky?” He teased.

“N-No,” Ari stammered. “It’s just, fuck—stop laughing!” They were gaining some attention. The men were not used to the colonel laughing.

“I’m sorry, princesa,” he apologized, shoulders still shaking with mirth. “It’s just so out of character for you.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” she bemoaned with a grimace.

“Need me to kick Peña’s ass?”

“What? No—why? This wasn’t Javi’s handiwork,” she insisted. Carrillo raised an eyebrow. Ari pushed down the panic she was feeling. Her and Javi needed to cool it. She didn’t want to risk a reputation.

“Ariana,” he scolded lightly. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Carrillo and Javi both had a habit of using her full name when they were irritated or upset with her. The two men were so similar. She wondered if that’s why she got along with both of them so well.

“Not Peña,” she said firmly. “Just someone to blow off some steam with.”

“Alright,” Carrillo backed down. “If that’s what you say happened…I’ll drop it. Grab your gear.” With that, Carrillo stalked off to order his men around. Javi made his way back a couple minutes later.

“Hey,” he said when he approached her.

“Hey,” she replied quietly.

“Listen, I was thinking about it when I was grabbing my stuff,” he began. “We can’t do this, right? I mean, we both know it’s a bad idea. And both times we’ve made a move, we’ve been interrupted…I can’t help but think there’s a reason for that.” Ari sighed.

“I know what you mean, Javi,” she agreed. “I was thinking the same thing, honestly.”

“So, we’re on the same page then,” he pressed.

“Yeah,” Ari said, her mouth turning down slightly. This wasn’t what she wanted, but it was the right thing to do. “Let’s just…put this behind us, alright?”

“Perfect,” Javi murmured. “Let’s get going. We have a monster to take down.”

Carrillo and his men went in to the villa while Javi and Ari flew overhead in a helicopter. They tracked Gacha as he tried to escape with his son. They pinned him down, and the desperate man quickly ran out of bullets. It was time to make the call. He could be taken in alive. Javi radioed Carrillo to let him know the situation. The colonel, and all of Search Bloc, wanted the man dead. Javi and Ari hoped to take him alive to use against Escobar. Carrillo told Javi it was his call. Javi paused, looking down at the human filth below them. He knew he needed to bring him in. It was the right thing to do. What the ambassador had ordered him to do…what he had promised Steve they would do. But then Javi remembered the look in Helena’s eyes when he had rescued her. He made the call to kill Gacha. Ari looked at him sharply, wondering what he was doing. After the chopper landed and Carrillo’s men caught up, Ariana and Javier found themselves standing over the dead body of Gacha. Carrillo asked Javi if he was good, concerned for his friend.

“I’ll sleep tonight,” he told him. He glanced up at Gacha’s son, dead in the passenger seat of their truck. Something close to regret passed over his face.

“Don’t feel bad for him,” Ari told him, jerking her head towards the young man’s body. Javi gave her a curious look. “He may have been young, but that kid was a fucking monster.” She didn’t offer any details, but she had seen enough during her time with Escobar to know that boy deserved to die. Javier nodded. He got into their car, and Ari joined him.

“Let’s get back to Bogotá,” Ari said tiredly. Javi turned to look at her.

“Are you good with this?” He asked her.

“Hmm?”

“With my call.”

“Yeah.” She was staring out the window, her head resting on the seat.

“Ariana,” Javier said sternly. She turned to look at him. “I need to know if you can handle this shit.” He saw anger cross her face before she tamped it down.

“I said I was fine with your decision.”

“You don’t seem fine,” he scoffed.

“Jesus,” she huffed. “I’m fucking tired Peña. It’s been a long week.”

“You’re a shit liar, you know that?” He snapped.

“Fuck,” she hissed. “I am not in the mood to do this right now. Can we just get back?”

“Not until we clear this up,” he argued. “You’re my partner, you need to be honest with me. I need to be able to trust you. I know you’re holding something back. Are you ok with what happened here today?” Javi was worried she would tell the ambassador the truth. Ari wanted to stop Escobar more than anything…if she saw Javi’s actions as an impediment to that goal…well, he was worried what would happen. They could have arrested Gacha. Noonan would love an excuse to sideline Javi, and him disobeying an order like that would be the perfect opportunity to do so. They were staring daggers at each other. She threw her hands up in frustration.

“YES!” She shouted at him. “I’m ok with what happened. Would I have preferred for him to be taken alive? Yes, but I get it. You all had a score to settle with that asshole. No one will miss him.”

“A score to settle?” Javier asked. Ari sighed.

“Most of the men here have lost someone to the cartel, and Steve told me about your informant. Helena? I think that’s the name he told me. He said Gacha had the men fuck her up pretty bad. Steve said you were close to her, so I understand wanting to see that piece of shit dead.”

“Fuck her up pretty bad?” Javier growled. Ari could see he was getting all worked up. Shit, she thought, he gets pissed when I mention his informants. Need to remember that for the future. “They beat the shit out of her and half a dozen of them gang raped her. All because I sent her to them!” Ari felt a wave of compassion rush over her, temporarily sidelining her anger. She could only imagine the pain and fear Helena had gone through and the weight of Javi’s guilt. She gripped his hand.

“Javi,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.” He ripped it away from her.

“Don’t pull that shit on me,” he ranted. “Don’t try to comfort me. You have no fucking clue who I am, so stop pretending you give a shit!” Javi knew he was being unfair to her. His fear and frustration making him lash out at her. The unresolved sexual tension between the two of them was bubbling up into rage. They couldn’t fuck their frustration away, so they screamed at each other.

“Fuck you!” She shouted at him, her anger back in full swing. “Goddammit, Peña, you are going to be the death of me. Sorry I brought up another one of your precious prostitutes. I’ll make sure never to make that mistake again!” She noticed Carrillo and Trujillo talking near another car. “You do realize Gacha could have given us Escobar? This could have been it. He could have been the key to ending this all. But now he’s dead, and we have nothing.” She felt the rage radiating off of him. “We told Steve we would get Gacha...do you remember that? When he agreed to commit treason to help smuggle another one of the many women you are fucking out of the city. Maybe you don’t want to catch Escobar. Then you’d have to go back to the US, and you couldn’t fuck every woman in Colombia.” She unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door.

“Where the fuck are you going?” He snarled. She stepped out of the car.

“I’m riding to the airport with Carrillo,” she spat back at him. “And don’t worry. I won’t let the ambassador or Steve know we could have taken him alive. Despite what you may think, you can trust me, you asshole.” With that she slammed the door shut and stalked over to Carrillo. Javier slammed his hands against the steering wheel.

“FUCK!” He shouted. He sat watching her, rage boiling in his gut. She spoke to Carrillo and then got in the back seat. Carrillo turned to him, a question in his eyes, and then got in the car. A moment later they pulled out and were on their way. How the fuck had they gone from almost fucking in her tent to screaming at each other in just a few short hours?

He had acted on impulse when he kissed her in that tent. He just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Ari consumed his every thought. He wasn’t lying or feeding her a line when he said she was unlike any woman he’d ever met. She was an anomaly, a ethereal goddess, the fucking sun his world revolved around. He felt something stirring in his chest, and he quickly tamped it down. He had to reign his feelings in. This was getting dangerous and out of hand. He had to try to tone things down with Ari. He had to be more careful. He couldn’t risk getting too close to her. Javier sighed, started the car, and followed behind Carrillo.

Chapter 6

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