#the further along I get though the less I want to watch because I don't like all the angst and arguing and misunderstandings

[shmuzzieheart]

Rewatching “The MIND vs. The HEART” feels so weird now that we have “Selfishness v. Selflessness.” The scenario of Thomas being asked to help someone move even though he’s got previous commitments that day mirrors the wedding vs. callback situation and really drives home how Janus’ (and the other Dark Sides’) perceived scariness/evilness negatively impacts their ability to get through to Thomas. Logan wasn’t labeled as morally wrong for wanting Thomas not to help, and Thomas even told Patton in that video that sometimes he needs to prioritize himself over other people. 

[atrophiedemotion]

ivantill cafeteria scene analysis

keep in mind that this is fully just my personal opinion and interpretation of the scene okay cool

the cafeteria scene from round 6 has always been really interesting to me, and i've seen a lot of people take it different ways, so i just wanted to walk through my view of it because it's such a telling scene about their dynamic more recently than as kids

the scene starts with a shot of till during the round that looks to be from ivan's pov, showing us what he's seeing in the moment, and flashes back to one of ivan's memories from anakt.

considering the almost identical expressions till is wearing in both shots, it seems to be ivan thinking back to a time he saw till look the way he does in round 6- miserable, hopeless, defeated. like he's given up.

we then see ivan noticing till's apparent resignation and shitty mood (because of course he notices, it's his personal watching till time after all), then getting up to go bother him. i say 'bother him', and it definitely looks like that's what he's doing, but i don't think that's ivan's goal. i think ivan's goal is to comfort, or at least distract till.

despite their juvenile fights, we've never seen ivan actually want to cause till true harm. his lyrics in both black sorrow and cure are caring and reverent, making it apparent that ivan really does just love and care for him and just wants to be able to do things for till. this is furthered ofc by the whole post-club scene where ivan looks absolutely devastated seeing the state till is in.

i always reference back to my mirroring post bc it explains the way i imagine ivan's train of thought, and it applies here again. ivan does not know how to comfort till in a conventional way (probably for a few reasons; till is different from the other students, both in the way he acts and displays his emotions, and in ivan's opinion of him. till is special to ivan, he usually drops his mask around him so meaningless platitudes wouldn't be right) but he does know how to get till's attention on him and out of his own head.

all this being said- what ivan does next:

he swipes his hand across the cut on till's cheek. yeah, i know, definitely not what most people would consider 'comforting their friend' but that's what makes sense to ivan. 'how could i possibly distract him if he seems to ignore me most of the time?' (for now looking past the fact that till actually seems comfortable in ivan's quiet company, ivan's too single-focused to realize that)

and, well, i mean. he's right. till gets visibly disgruntled. he doesn't exactly look pissed as much as he looks caught the hell off guard, but it grabs his attention.

ivan, on the other hand, looks almost fond to me. i don't know, i just don't really think he looks smug even though i'm assuming that might be the general consensus. he almost seems a bit soft. to me, it looks like he's adoringly thinking, 'it worked. there, no time to be sad anymore, huh?' he probably is proud of himself for it, but not really in a selfish way.

till, of course, sees that it's ivan who's messing with him, and turns away.

i've also talked about this but at this age it really does seem like till's mindset when it comes to ivan is something along the lines of, 'oh, it's just ivan. he's fucking weird, that's just how he is' and more or less shrugs it off. he's used to ivan's "quirks" it seems.

this, till looking at ivan only to immediately look away, won't do. he only caught his attention for a few seconds, so i assume ivan's next logical move is to do something that will get an even bigger reaction. (ivan is a logical thinker, after all, at least in my perception of him)

so he. ya know. does that. which really seems like a great way to get himself punched, right? which honestly is also probably his plan. have till explode in anger, forget whatever happened for him to be injured in the first place, and ivan gets his undivided attention for a period of time. a win-win.

and you might be saying "oh, but couldn't ivan have just been doing that selfishly? we know his main goal is to get till to look at him." to which i say, yeah fair. i don't think this was done completely selflessly (i don't think anything ivan does is fully selfless but that's perhaps for another day) at all, he could've gone at it a different unconventional way if it was. but i think he probably sees it as mutually beneficial.

yes, it does seem like a way to show ivan wanting to keep till's eyes and attention on him. an example of how he seeks out till's attention no matter what, but the preceding shot of a hopeless till reminds ivan of this particular interaction for a reason.

there had to have been a motive behind what he did and why he did it then, and what we have to go off of for that is the first three shots. till wearing the same misery on two different occasions and ivan noticing. with that information, it's really not a stretch that this could be ivan's fucked up version of comfort.

[thefanficmonster]

Heavy Metal Lover

PART 2

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Smoking, Brief Choking, Mentioned Past Suicides (at the location they're exploring), Suggestive Content, Arguments, Swearing

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Romance, Very Slight Smut, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Sam's best friend and Kat's best friend have been tangling antlers since the moment they met. So much for the couple's hopes of setting the two up.

NOTE: Sam and Kat are still together in this fic. This detail is not meant to be disrespectful to Sam's current girlfriend in any way.

"Why do we keep trying?"

Sam's question comes out as an exasperated sigh as he slouches further into the leather couch him and Kat have settled onto. Their rooms aren't ready yet, seeing as how their flight arrived way earlier than their calculations had suggested.

The hotel lobby is busy. The noise on any other day would be too much for the two to ignore and tune out but right now it's much more alike white noise. Jet-lag has really done them in this time. They'd been running away from it for long enough - hopping from plane to plane filming Hell Week is the same every year. But alas, by the fourth location they'd always shut down as has been the case since they stepped foot out of the plane and into the Las Vegas airport.

The only reason they're staying awake is so they don't get robbed blind. Well, that and to make sure the other two people on this trip don't murder one another.

"Because I still believe there's something there."

Y/N and Colby had successfully made it through the whole boarding process and flight without a single fight. Hell, Sam can't even recall them exchanging a single word until they arrived at the hotel. Maybe that's why it took them less than thirty seconds to break out in their usual bitter back-and-forth in the middle of the lobby. The only reason voices remained leveled was because they are indeed in public and they have appearances to upkeep.

The couple managed to subdue the perpetual assholes, convincing them to 'take five' which they thankfully went to take in opposite directions - Y/N headed for the parking lot to grab something she allegedly forgot in their rental car while Colby immediately clocked the patio across the lobby and quickly disappeared out of sight.

Kat watched them both, as if on cue, pluck their packs of cigarettes from their pockets on the way out.

That's what she means when she's trying to convince Sam of that something she sees. She can't explain it without the reasoning sounding like wishful thinking but she knows there is something. Something in the explosiveness in their interactions, the 'hatred' in their glares whenever they are tangling antlers over the smallest inconvenience, the way they look at each other when the other isn't looking.

Y/N and Colby are to Kat what the paranormal is to Sam. She wants to prove it to everyone, but mostly herself. Prove she didn't spend years poking holes in their apprehension for one another and pushing them together when the holy force clearly didn't want her to.

Or maybe that's what has been driving her.

Either way, she's truly grateful Sam is going along with her antics. Whether he believes what she's preaching or sees what she's seeing is up for debate, but at he's still supportive.

He'd never tell her this, but he isn't exactly trusting of the process. He more than anyone would want to see his best friend in a happy and healthy relationship. Does he believe that him and Y/N could have that? No. Not at all. Does he have faith Kat will succeed in her endeavors? Nope. Not even a tad. Even though she's stubborn and dedicated to this cause, he's never met a person more hard-headed than his best friend. Or at least he hadn't until he met Y/N.

You know the whole 'opposites attract' notion? The reason Sam and Kat's experiment subjects won't give the results they're hoping for is because they're too alike. In sync even - as the cigarettes instance that happened less than ten minutes ago would confirm. They're on the same wavelength headed in opposite directions. They're permanently heading for a collision - a fight equal to a ticking time bomb. Sam and Kat have to put out the fire the explosion of said bomb causes but that is a small price to pay to keep the two in each other's proximity.

"I don't know, babe...." Sam's shoulders slump downward, his arm automatically wrapping around Kat when she leans into his side. Hesitant as he may be, he's willing to go along with it. How is it any different from all the times Kat agreed to visit abandoned and haunted places with him. Hell, that's why she's here. She had no problem hopping on a plane to Vegas on such short notice just because she knew how much it'd mean to him. So...what's a little matchmaking in return? "But I believe your romance instincts." Looking down at her, he can't help but smile when he sees her absolutely beaming at him.

"I will not let you down."

She may try her best, but their subjects are two particularly unruly chess pieces.

Y/N, for example, is still out in the parking lot, getting antsier by the second. Anger refuses to let her stand still. Her jaw is still set, hot blood pumping through her veins. So many words she didn't get to spit out due to the public constraint are still stuck in her throat. Colby's words are replaying in her head, their edge causing her to dig her nails into her palms.

She needs to get some air, she just doesn't know where to find it. Maybe at the top of a mountain where she could scream her lungs out in peace. That's not really an option now, though, she she just settles for walking around the hotel, giving herself a couple more minutes before she rejoins Sam and Kat inside.

Eventually, she's made her way around to the side of the hotel that spreads out as an open patio, basking in the all-too-warm sun rays of this fine September day. Last year, the high temperatures were not such a problem while putting up with the fast paced dynamic of Hell Week because they actually filmed it in late October. This year, however, they chose to get it out of the wat sooner because their schedule would be packed all October. Kat's been working on a new album, Y/N has a deal with Crypt TV to make a horror movie and Sam and Colby will be doing Sam and Colby stuff. I don't think there is any other way to sum up what those two are doing.

Not that Y/N really cares what they do. The only reason she's versed into their schedules is because she lives with them. Yes, that is correct - much to her dismay, she found herself forced to live with the guys and Kat after an unexpected and unwarranted eviction from her apartment.

She exhausted all possible options long before caving and accepting Kat's offer to move in with the three. She was welcomed into the house with three different reactions: her best friend squealing with excitement; Sam offering her a warm welcome and helping hand in moving her stuff to her room; and last, and certainly least, was Colby who gave her nothing more than a 'hello' in passing.

None of them can really recall when this endless butting of heads started or how or why. Sam and Kat would equate their attempts at getting the two to get along to pushing same charges toward one another - the harder you push, the harder they push apart.

It's truly baffling where Kat found even an ounce of romance between the two.

Y/N wipes a few droplets of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand as she climbs the few stairs to reach the bar out on the patio, hoping to gulp down a glass of water after the cigarette she tossed a few minutes ago coupled with the intense heat.

"Hello there." The bartender greets her with a smile, his gaze trailing over her with zero subtlety. "What can I get ya?"

She chooses to ignore it, "Hi. Just a glass of water, please."

The man chuckles, reaching for a tall glass "You know, it's Happy Hour somewhere."

Despite his attempts at flirting - which Y/N is aware is part of his job - she finds herself letting out a small laugh, "Yeah well, not here. And not for me." She gratefully accepts the glass of ice cold water with a nod.

Before the guy can reply, a third voice butts into the conversation, "Yeah, definitely not for her. She's a raging alcoholic."

Stunned, Y/N turns to see a pair of electric blue eyes piercing her with a blank look that contradicts his extremely fake smile he's pinned on his face out of nothing more than politeness.

For a moment, due to their glaring match, they completely forget about the man they've roped into their mess. Thankfully, he speaks up, reminding them of his presence before he could witness any potential brawl, "Oh, um, I'm sorry to hear that."

Momentarily, Y/N drops the torch, tearing her gaze from Colby to acknowledge the bartender directly, "Yeah, no big deal."

Her teeth grit together in absolute rage when she hears the asshole beside her snort something alike a laugh, "Tragic, really. Can I get a vodka cran?"

Y/N busies her hand with holding the glass so she doesn't give into the idea of punching him, "Someone clearly follows that Happy Hour rule."

"I'll have you know..." Colby turns his whole body to face her now, as if challenging her, "...it's not for me." The tilt of his head directs her gaze to an attractive brunette sitting alone at a table, scrolling through her phone.

"Lovely." She spits the word like poison on her tongue, "I'll go tell her to blink twice if she needs help."

"You need help." The lack of bite to his statement stuns her more than if he were to yell it at her. It's an effective throw-off considering she doesn't immediately jump back or smack his hand away when he reaches for the pocket of her shorts, swiping her lighter, "Mine's out of juice." He explains, sticking it in his back pocket before turning to the bartender once more, handing him a ten dollar bill, "And lemon iced tea for my friend here, she's looking a little parched."

With that and a brisk nod in Y/N's direction, Colby excuses himself from the interaction and heads back to the model of a woman who's quick to flash him a bright smile when she notices him approaching.

A sickening feeling settles in her gut. She can't believe any woman gets wound around his finger so easily. She might be biased but she just simply doesn't see it. She can't understand what gets girls within a five mile radius of him swooning.

That smile so many deem charming she finds cynical and fake. His eyes, although a pretty color, are hollow apart from the twinge of evil she sees every time they glare at her. His flirty, charismatic words could make her puke if exposed to them for an extended period of time. In short, she finds him repulsive.

Had they gotten off on a better foot maybe she would've even ended up in his bed on a few occasions by now. As they stand now, she'd rather sleep with Satan himself.

Still, she takes the iced tea, mostly out of curtesy but also because she is indeed dehydrated. She spares the table Colby has now taken a seat at a brisk glance just to find her eyes met with a pair of piercing blue ones once more.

She could strangle him, theoretically, but she won't. Not with this many witnesses around. Instead, she heads inside, looking for Sam and Kat in hopes of getting the last fifteen minutes out of her head.

* * * *

"What's up guys, it's Sam and Colby! And today we'll be investigating the Oasis Motel in Las Vegas. Known for its dark and unexplainable past and the reputation that precedes it today." Sam explains as they begin filming the intro to their video.

The group is currently standing outside the aforementioned motel. The exterior they were met with upon arrival was enough for Kat and Y/N to exchange a particular look. It's in an area off the strip, the surroundings accentuating the atmosphere and amplifying the creep factor.

"Unfortunately, we won't be able to stay at the hotel. They haven't been renting rooms for close to a decade to avoid any potential casualties. And by that I mean - suicides." Colby says, reciting the notes he both wrote and memorized on the car ride here.

"Yeah, this motel is known for two specific suicides that happened here. Specifically in room 20." Sam adds, listing the sightings that have been allegedly witnessed by staff and guests alike before the motel was shut down for business.

The place now just stands ominously as a haunted attraction of sorts. It's meant to honor the memory of the two people who took their own life there but it's clear they have purposefully added to the fear factor to attract more people like Sam and Colby.

That still doesn't take away from the fact that just looking at the building settles an uneasy feeling in Y/N's gut.

She's always been curious about the paranormal but never went out of her way to seek answers. The only reason she's been joining the gang for paranormal investigations is because Kat often begs her to. And she's always had a hard time turning down her best friend, about anything.

So, here she is, sighing as she follows Sam and Kat inside the barely lit lobby of the motel where the staff member who's gonna be giving them a tour is waiting for them.

Before she can fully cross over the doorstep, she feels a finger trail over her arm, running over the very prominent goosebumps that have appeared on her skin.

"Aww, is someone scared?" The mockery in Colby's voice drains any sort of fear or uncertainty she was feeling before.

She whirls around to face him, nostrils flaring when she sees his coy smirk, "Get your fucking hands off me before I knock you the fuck out." She snarls between clenched teeth.

His smile only widens, becoming a tad more genuine now, "That's more like it. Don't be a pussy."

She's about to retaliate with a string of insults that's make a sailor blush when Sam, thankfully, interrupts her, "Guys! Come on!"

The fucker was saved by divine intervention this once, but Sam won't always be there to shield him from Y/N's wrath - he's very aware of that. Time and time again they've screamed their lungs out at one another just to storm off to fill them with nicotine for a potential round two.

In a way, that is a love language too, right? Well, if you ask Kat, that is. Though she isn't completely wrong. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And these two are most definitely not indifferent to one another.

Speaking of Kat, she doesn't fail to sneak a peek at the hostile interaction between the two. She nudged Sam's ribs to point it out and smacked his arm when he put a stop to it. Although that was the best course of action to prevent Colby losing any teeth tonight, curtesy of Y/N's fist.

Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration.

She may have spit a million threats his way over the many year they've known each other, but never once did she go through with them.

"Hi, guys. I'm Scott, and it's an honor to be welcoming y'all to the Oasis." The man, who they now know as Scott, introduces himself as he turns on an old tall lamp by what used to be the front desk of the motel. "I hope you're ready to capture some great footage tonight. We're giving you a time frame till 2 AM which is an exception we rarely make, but this one over here is a smooth talker." He says, smiling slyly over at Colby who was the one that placed the call to the motel before they added the place to their itenirary.

Colby, in turn, shrugs, a grin plastering itself on his face, "I mean..." He chuckles, causing Y/N to roll her eyes, "No, jokes aside, I can't thank you enough for bending the rules for us."

It baffles her how charming he can be. She can't help but wonder at times why she wasn't deemed worthy of this pleasant side of him. Not that she hasn't grown somewhat fond of their dysfunctional dynamic - not that she'd ever admit it - but she still wishes she knew.

And she hates it.

Instead of dwelling on it, she busies herself with the fear that's still lingering on the backburner. She'd much rather be scared of whatever's waiting for them in this motel than what she might find if she keeps digging in her mind.

* * * *

"What is your fucking problem?!"

The tension has been building all night, both between Y/N and Colby and from the paranormal aspect of it all.

Glares thrown in from across the room. Light, supposedly accidental touches, some even meant to startle her. Lingering behind her or always looming close to her, reminiscent of her literal shadow.

He's rarely so bold with his proximity to her. He respects her personal space and tends to keep himself at an arm's length regardless of the place they're in. But for some reason, not quite clear to him yet, he's been keeping himself close to her the whole night. Either it's from a certain need to protect her or an inherent need to annoy her into continuously acknowledging his presence, he can't tell.

But by now it's reached a boiling point.

What pushed the situation past Y/N's tolerance threshold was getting scared out of her skin by Colby who, by design of the challenge, wasn't supposed to be anywhere near her. They were less than five minutes into their solo investigations - Sam, ever the challenger, took room 20; Kat is in the restaurant, Y/N is in room 33 and Colby was supposed to take on the attic.

However, he didn't quite last long.

At the first sound of mild panic coming from room 33, which is directly underneath the attic, Colby immediately took off down the stairs, nearly taking the door off its hinges and scaring the ever-loving daylight out of Y/N.

That is what provoked this reaction from her. And now that we're up to speed...

"I thought you were in danger." He explains, quietly shutting the door behind him as he approaches the bed where she's sat.

"Jesus, Colby, you gave me a heart attack!" She groans, squeezing the bridge of her nose in frustration, suddenly antsy in her seat, "I'm not new to this shit! I've been doing this for years with you guys! I get that you may not see me but that doesn't mean I'm not there!" Her heart is still racing, her breathing shallow. Her chest is heaving despite the hand she's placed overtop it in an inefficient attempt at calming herself down.

A few steps closer on his part make her even more uneasy. She gets up to her feet to level the ground between them somewhat. There is something so vulnerable in sitting down with him standing over her. Dare I say, intimate.

"I see you." He says almost bitterly, "Oh, I fucking see you, Y/N. You're always there, always in my viewpoint. Always just a step out of arm's reach. And I hate it. Or try to. You piss me off so bad I can't even put it into words without sounding fucking insane!"

He's close, too fucking close. The chain hanging from his jeans brushes against the exposed skin of her thigh, sending chills all over her body. It makes her wish her shorts were longer. Makes her wish she could push him away, keep her guard up, keep up her mean front.

But when fingers tangle in her hair, his hand cupping the back of her head, she knows it's too late for any of that.

Their lips are barely an inch apart, the two practically sharing the same breath. Still, her pettiness dies screaming with one last whispered, "Fuck you."

With that, all barriers, both physical and metaphorical, come crashing down as their lips collide with the force of seven years worth of tension. Seven years of denial masked as aggression and annoyance. Every word spat out in anger, every glare, every passing touch, every 'flirty' moment. It's all condensed into a hostile collision of lips, biting teeth and battling tongues.

Y/N's hands intertwine at the back of his neck while his travel down to her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. Their connection is airtight, the heat between their bodies increasing the need to pull back to breathe, though that's the last thing they wanna do. It's been far too long for it to end this soon.

Her legs threaten to give out. It's all too much too fast and too unbelievable. Thankfully, Colby seems to feel the same.

He softly pushes her down on the bed, smiling in the kiss at the zero complaints he receives in response.

"You're so sweet when you wanna be." He pulls back for just a second, his hand cupping her chin.

She's quick to smack it away. He expected nothing else. "Shut the fuck up."

He chuckles almost darkly as his hand now settles around her throat, "Adorable." He's aware he's pushing his luck, but then again it's always a gamble with her. This time, he might just luck out.

Their lips have no time to reconnect though, much to their dismay.

"Colby! Y/N! Where are you guys?!"

Sam's voice reaches them from the lobby downstairs, forcing them apart instantly. A deer in headlights look flashes across both their faces as they hurry to create as much distance between them as possible.

Colby swears he sees any hope he had sink right before his eyes. He watches the realization of what just happened dawn on Y/N. Now that the heat of the moment has evaporated, it becomes all too real and all too clear to her what a mistake that was.

"Guys?!" This time it's Kat's voice bouncing off the walls, coupled with the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

He's panicking, not really sure as to exactly why. Whether it's because he'll have to explain this predicament to his friends or because he can see Y/N starting to regret said predicament in real time, he's not sure. Either way, he needs to come up with something, fast. If his brain can kick back into gear after his whole world was briefly thrown off its axis.

"Go." It comes out as a whisper but it bounces around in his head like an earthquake.

"What?" His tone mimics hers, afraid that a single note higher would ruin what little tranquility they've managed to maintain while there's full-on storms raging in their minds.

Her eyes are trained on the floor, hollow with a thousand yard stare. She can't look at him, unsure as to why. She just knows she can't. "Go. Get out. This never happened." When she finally wills herself to meet his eyes she can feel the burning of tears at the back of her throat, "Forget this ever happened."

Footsteps grow closer but they still have leeway to get away with it with just a white lie.

"Go. Now!" She repeats, a bit more fervor in her words now. She gives him no room to reply as she ushers him away but he isn't capable of stringing words together right now anyway.

So, he obliges, going against all his instincts telling him the opposite. And he does so on time as well, shutting the door behind him just as a tear rolls down Y/N's cheek.

What a fucking mistake, they once again sync up, sharing the same exact thought. Though they silently agreed to forget everything that just happened, they're both well aware it won't leave their brain for the foreseeable future.

If ever.

[rubra-wav]

Vox brainrot entry #1

(Part 2 fic)

A/N: I've been thinking about this all morning, and I want to talk about it and it's driving me crazy. I've never really ever shared anything like this ever, so I'm a bit nervous haha

CW: 18+ SFW - NSFW (marked as such), spying/voyeurism, gn reader

Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and is not to be applied to any real context. If someone is like this IRL, that is not okay.

- This man definitely watches you through whatever technology you have, and I refuse to believe anything less.

- In some fics, I've seen the reference to him spying on people through cameras but I mostly see it in yan AU fics where he is doing it to intentionally try to control and manipulate them. I think instead he does it because he's a pathetic simp. 💀

- Vox seems like he would be very much against directly pursuing anyone for romantic relationships due to how insecure he is underneath all of the egotistical bullshit he puts out at all times. This imo would manifest as also having a severe fear of rejection - especially if he does manage to get romantic feelings for someone else.

- Due to this, he spends a borderline obsessive amount of time watching the person he's attracted to without their permission as he's too chicken shit to seem *too interested* in them by actually asking them about their interests and things about yourself.

- At first it's just very rarely watching you - mainly after meeting up with you to see how you are after. He wants to see if you are happy or if you secretly hate the time you spend together with him because he is insecure as shit.

- It gradually becomes more and more frequent the more he falls for you, until it's a pastime watching what you're doing.

- He learns what your favourite things are, what you hate, what you do in your spare time, who your friends are, who your family are, etc. Etc. He knows just about everything you do in your free time.

- He will then use this information to try to get closer with you in everyday life.

- If you ask how he knows he will respond like he's just 'that good' at knowing what you like. You don't miss the way he starts sweating slightly as he's further prodded though.

- After you prod him for more on the subject he's going to be sitting in slight horror with his hands covering his face the second you leave.

NSFW starts below

- It also begins to extend to watching everything as well the more desperate he gets.

- For a while, he refuses to continue to watch you if you start to take your clothes off as he feels like that's crossing the line even with his tendencies.

- But a mixture of his desperation and craving to see that gets to him.

- The first time he watches you get undressed, he's flustered as all hell, brain telling him to switch the feed off while the other part of himself is absolutely screaming in excitement over seeing your naked skin slowly being revealed to him.

- It becomes an extremely shameful tendency after that as he begins to watch more and more as it drives him absolutely wild.

- I just have the mental image of him sitting in his studio after-hours and watching you pleasure yourself while he does the same. Him being embarrassed as hell, filled with self-loathing about it, but still desperate to continue watching you arching and letting out whimpers and moans of ecstacy.

- I feel like if he saw you after these sessions he'd not be able to hold it together as well as he usually does when you pry into something to do with him secretly spying upon you. He'd be smiling a tense smile, little animated sweat drops on his face along with light blue flush across his cheeks as he stutters with glitches while being questioned about why he was acting up.

- Giving you bullshit reasons in his normally cocky tone that were so obviously bullshit you don't even need to squint at them to tell.

- If you pry into it he may just start error-ing.

Someone needs to put me down about him.

- Afterwards, he'd probably be mortified in private. I can see him laying face down while blue screening on the floor of his room out of embarrassment whining with his ego in tatters about failing so badly to fully keep his 'extra-curriculars' under wraps in front of you.

[kindnessoverperfection]

I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.

A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".

This will be kind of long, so bear with me.

Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.

There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)

Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.

Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.

So, three main things happen.

There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD

The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)

People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.

(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)

(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")

Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support

While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"

Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.

So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.

People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.

Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.

Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.

Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.

"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??

Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.

There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.

Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.

[missyandthemisfits]

Thinking about the toman guys (and anyone else) with a reader who is naturally pretty/beautiful. Looks like a literal angel but they’re mischievous af. Like they never get caught because they look so innocent. Like how could their little angel ever beat up some girl who tried flirting with them? Like literally brat. Petty af and instigators. Lmao

A/N as a demon in disguise myself 🫣 non-chan I am VERY happy you sent this! 

Sweet Angel

Mikey's eyes widened a bit at meeting Angel girl, but then he smiles and approached her with relative ease, telling her outright how beautiful she is - some girls are intimidated by the invincible Mikey but strangely enough, Angel is not, giving him an angelic smile. It's a little blinding. Everything from her movements, to the way she interacted was just ethereal to him and he could literally just sit and watch her operate for hours. He's pretty quick to ask her out honestly. Thinks the dynamic is a little wild until he hears about Y/N one day from some girls passing by on the street, one a lot worse off than the other, both teary eyed and clearly frustrated. He stops and questions them and they hesitate, looking over their shoulders before their faces scrunch up. They don't explain much only that they "Really shouldn't be talking to him" and ran off, prompting more questions. On his way to fetch Angel he thinks he's got it pieced together.

"Y/N. Those girls from the other day, did you-,"Mikey almost misses the smirk but it's gone as he does a double take. She finally turns to him but there's something alot less sweet in her cherry smile. 

"Hmm? Not sure what you might be referring to, Mikey-kun!" 

And things get alot more interesting for him, truly all about it his wicked Angel.  •

Draken was a pretty straightforward kind of guy, someone who would tell you if something was right or wrong, someone who would chastise you for taking things further than they probably should have gone - it was for this reason that Angel decided to keep him out of the loop on this particular occasion. He was almost taken aback by how pretty this Angel was but had a sneaking suspicion there was more to her than what she presented. He was right of course and this suspicions were confirmed when instead of "getting upset" about the girls flirting with the taller boy as if she wasn't there, she kept a smile on, going as far as grabbing the girls hands and pulling them along with her. The girls never came back but Y/N looked much more relieved somehow.

"Friends of yours?" 

"Not at all." She smiles but her tone was as direct as ever, "Ou, there's an ice cream stand over there! Can we get some please??" 

She pouted and he relented, silently sweating when he caught the sight of her bloodied knuckles, dainty hands placed almost stealthily into her sweat pockets. 

He worries a lot more that he lets on about the Demon-like Angel, but she knows that already.

•

Mitsuya is loaded with patience and understanding, kindness and warmth really not that common within his circle of friends and acquaintances. He takes notice of her beauty instantly, but is coy about it, not wanting to scare the (seemingly) innocent girl off - he was technically a delinquent after all. He enjoys getting to know her; her kindness, her sweet nature, her ability to nurture those around her - but even after they started dating, there was this gut feeling, something he can't quite put his finger on about her, something important he feels is a missing piece of the puzzle that is Y/N. He's working on some sketches for a new design he's been playing with the idea of when a couple very eager girls approach him. It wasn't uncommon for some of his classmates or even some of the younger girls to try and worm their way into his life on a very... personal level, but he was always quick to shut it down, politely of course. These two underclassmen hadn't quite got that message though- Y/N wrapped her arms around his middle, eye contact never once breaking with the girls, stern as she said "He's spoken for." They're so intimidated they drop a few papers on their way to the door, of which Angel is happy to return, arms around the girls followed by a hushed tone.

"The next time you lot decide to try and take something that doesn't belong to you, I won't be so nice. Understood?" Had he heard that correctly? 

Y/N is starry eyed and playful as she heads back over and he raises a brow. 

"Should I be worried...?" She shakes her head, placing butterfly kisses on his fingertips.

"Just girl talk~"

Part of him is really flattered someone so pretty would be so possessive over him, the other part is a little worried about the other girls. 

Angel is full of surprises. 

•

Hakkai was a hard sell, awkward and uncomfortably shy, especially around the effervescent Angel - who was he to even speak to someone so gorgeous? To look at her? But after many attempts on Angels part at breaking the ice, and many more swift kicks from his beloved older sister, there was a breakthrough and a relationship was born not long after the friendship was finally established. He was so very sweet, so gentle - when he actually got the nerve to touch her, that is. He was always so hesitant about it, never wanting to cause her any sort of harm. There were times other girls approached him, random ones - and though it was rude, he didn't really interact with them at all, their poking and prodding in vain. Y/N had of course taken it upon herself to handle the situation, unknowingly. He'd heard various rumors about his Angel; A true Demon in disguise but it was nothing he could vouch for, not having seen it personally. He chalked it up to bullshit and hearsay, nothing more - a pack of petty jealous strangers. And why would she ever trouble her sweet boyfriend with the goings on of a few wayward girls? He had enough to worry about. 

Ignorance is bliss as they say, and his Angel made him incredibly happy - that's all that mattered. 

•

Baji had only really had 2 crushes in the entirety of his life; one in primary school and one in middle school - neither of which he confessed to. Those crushes were nothing compared to the intense feeling in his chest at just the sight of Y/N, an Angel among men. It was downright embarrassing and he kicked himself out of his daze, forced his breathing to settle, and ignored the fluttering in his stomach when she approached him all smiles. 

"Keisuke Baji, right? I've heard a lot about you - you're cuter than they say. Wanna go out sometime?" 

And just like that, they were an item, a power couple if you will. Truthfully, any response even hinting at him focusing on school died on his tongue, just so taken by her beauty and her boldness. He was doomed from the start. His arm is around her waist so much there are people who actually think it might be glued there - nope he's just very into showing her off. That said, there exist girls/women who would try to take those who are already taken, not very smart on their part... one of his subordinates rounds the corner, sprinting to Baji and saying something along the lines of "Someone is fighting Y/N" his mind goes almost blank as he pushes past him only to come to his girl's side and realize there's nothing to see. Her hands are behind her back, all smiles, as the girls in question scurry off, prominent bruises. He's got questions but he doesn't know if she's gonna give any answers. 

Still, he'd be lying if he said it didn't make Angel that much hotter. 

•

Chifuyu for all intents and purposes is very much a dork - and most are aware of that even when he tries his best to be this hard, cool delinquent. He thinks he's gotta be that guy to have even half a chance with the ladies so when an Angel approaches him in a manga shop, he's thrown completely off guard. She's probably the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and he's sweating instantly. Luckily for him, she seems to have a dorky side herself, smiling as she rants about the latest issue of [manga name]. The fact that she's into similar things makes it much easier for him to warm up and before he knows it, he's confessing unexpectedly. He doesn't even have time to stress about the outburst because there's an immediate 'yes' to his ask and he actually goes 'really?'. Thinks he's the luckiest dude to ever live with Y/N on his arm and still can't quite fathom why him, but he tries his absolute best to make her happy, and he really does. He's so entranced by her, grinning like a fool while taking in her beauty, doesn't even notice the lingering touch of another girl, desperate for his attention while she thanks him for his purchase. If looks could kill, Angel might be behind bars, but Chifuyu is somehow none the wiser, even after the rumors start springing up. He might get around to asking about them...one day.

But for now, he really couldn't care less if Angel had beat that girl up or not, somehow writing it off completely. 

•

Nahoya was confident, even when he wasn't - and most people steered clear of the excitable twin, knowing better than to get involved with someone so clearly dangerous. Y/N was not those people. She approached out of the blue one day, completely in awe of the motorcycles parked outside of her parent's bakery/home. He gave her his signature grin, cool despite the heat in his cheeks at her proximity. She was definitely flirting with the older twin - and to no one's surprise, he flirted back. He was almost intimidated by her beauty, her Angel face, but he was never one to back down from a challenge. To his surprise, getting the girl was far less challenging than he thought initially - she was just as into him as he was into her. A total bragger, he purposely shows her off constantly, a lazy arm draped around her middle, fingertips dangerously low on her hips - always testing the boundaries. His Angel does mind it one bit. What she does mind is the fact that every now and then, he entertains the flirting of another, not accepting any advances but not really shooing them away either. It's rather annoying, honestly... He's a little surprised to hear of the hearsay that starts to circulate, the news that Y/N would beat the breaks off anyone who thought they might stand a chance with her Smiley. Curious, he tests this and gets his answers - very amusing answers that he asks her about playfully. 

"Huh? Me? Well I would certainly never hit anyone who didn't absolutely deserve it, but beating people up for no reason is just mean!" She's got this cutesy look on her face but he recognizes that mischievous glint all too well, but he only laughs with a nonchalant 'Sure,sure.' 

He loves that his Angel fights for him, even if it's in secret - because God knows he does the same for her.

•

Souya looks as though he truly belongs in a gang, angry facial expressions giving 'fuck off' without actually having to say anything at all. Any conversation with him though, even one in passing, let's people know otherwise - he was very polite and very kind, though also very reserved. He wasn't exactly shy but the case of Angel was very different for him. He found himself wholly intimidated by her beauty alone, so to find she was also very sweet and loving? It made him something of a wreck internally. He was thrown off balance completely by how nice and friendly she was with him, even at the start. She would always ask for his opinion on things, gift him small things like cellphone straps and keychains, and even go out of her way to greet him and rope him into conversations. He hadn't experienced anything like it before so of course he developed feelings. But alas, pretty girls didn't go for boys like him - or so he had convinced himself. Takes him a full minute to process this Godsent being had just asked HIM out. Nearly shuts down. But sweet Y/N quite literally holds his hand through it - though that doesn't really help steady his heart rate...like at all. He fawns over his Angel like no other, really truly spoiling her with food and gifts galore. He's so very attentive and cuddly (once he gets passed the initial embarrassment) it's honestly the cutest thing. Y/N honestly hadn't expected anyone to flirt with Angry, his expression more than enough to ward people off...but they did. Poor boy doesn't even realize it's happening. He thanks the random girl for the napkins and innocently asks why there's a number on them - Angel isn’t having it. Souya asks about the rumors only after seeing the cuts and bruises on her knuckles, tentatively placing bandaids on her delicate fingers. 

"I only wanted to make sure she knew you were already seeing someone, that's all..." She pouts teary eyed and he's putty in her scrapped hands, assuring her that it was fine and just to be more careful, very flattered by the entire ordeal.

He's so sweet on this Angelic Creature that he absolutely won't do anything about it, but he will encourage a healthier way of expressing her discomfort.

•

Kazutora is a bit of a flirt when he wants to be, but can flip it off just as quickly as he turned it on if he’s no longer interested or just plain bored. It scratches the itch of wanting to be wanted while keeping people at a comfortable distance. Yea, all of that is thrown out the window when he meets a real life Angel in Y/N. He’s great a reading people and can tell when they’re being nice as some fake gesture or show - this beauty is free from all that, which is fairly rare itself. But she takes it a step further, going out of her way to be extra kind to him, through words and actions, somehow giving him a reason to believe in humanity again. It’s actually pretty jarring for him. So much so he takes a step back for a moment or two, only to realize he’s already kind of hooked on her affection and attention (Being starved for affection will do that). Can’t keep his eyes off her, the thoughts of her at bay, and after weeks of deliberation, he confesses and she knows then he’s sort of fighting himself on that. But as always, she’s peachy when she grabs his hand carefully, continuing to the train station. Their first date is somewhere completely unserious like an amusement park or fair. He’s well aware that the girl at the ticket booth is flirting but he just completely ignores it, almost snatching the tickets for extra convincing. She takes the hint but just the audacity - Angel waits for her after work with more than a few words while Kazutora makes his way to a nearby restroom. He’s out just in time to see Y/N waving off a clearly terrified young woman. He puts it together fairly quickly and finds it hysterical.

He’s truly thankful for his Angel, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna tease her about it every now and then. 

•

Taiju is a man who knows exactly what he wants and what he wanted was Y/N. A Godly man, he’s got a thing for good girls - obedient girls you could say. Is actively working on himself as a person/businessman when Angel falls out of the sky – or in this case, stumbles back into his strong arms. He’s pretty surprised but he blinks as Angel apologizes. He assures the beauty that he’s fine and then asks if she’s alright. He’s almost in awe at how unreal she seems, how delicate her features, how sweet her smile. He’s staring with those intimidating eyes and all she does is smile, saying something along the lines of “You sure you’re okay? I can make it up to you if you let me take you out.” He’s got some pretty old-school ways about him so he firmly believes that the MAN should ask the WOMAN out (whatever), but how could he not forgive such beautiful bravery? He was delighted to find this Angel, Y/N, was just as sweet inwardly as she was outwardly. She would give without asking, care without expectation, and it pushed him want to give everything to her, his soul included. Believe it or not, Taiju had received many confessions over the years and although before Y/N he couldn’t care less about any of them, he still turned them down as gently as possible. That said, Angel wasn’t having any of that. Y/N was actually rather impatient at times, waiting right good until Taiju had turned his back before kicking the random stranger in her shin, smile still intact. There was a small yelp but the oldest Shiba only spared a parting glance as his Angel latched her beautiful self onto his arm once more.

Whatever damage his Angel caused was of no consequence to him, for everything she did was for his sake.

[wileys-russo]

as you would assume all alessia x reader 😭

getting into a fight with alessia, would she be stubborn or very apologetic

alessia not being able to sleep without physical touch, but you can't sleep because you're too hot

being up late studying but alessia is tired from training and just wants to cuddle up but you really can't yet

taking care of her after a rough day

you don't need to post this one, just a couple ideas :]

couldn't fit all of these into one blurb but did a lil clingy gf less moment bc we love a touch starved blondie

touch starved II a.russo

"i can clean up later baby you look shattered, please go to bed." you tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind your girlfriends ear, no denying you were positively infatuated with the striker.

"only if you come with me." alessia demanded with a pout, balling your top in her fists and tugging your body closer, your arms wrapping around her and playing with the baby hairs on the back of her neck, the italian a good half a foot taller than you.

"i'll be in later i have to finish this paper, its due by midnight." you bit your lip guiltily, admittedly having procrastinated your uni assignment just a little too long. "are you gonna be in the living room?" the blonde asked hopefully, assuming she could then at least lay down beside you as you worked.

"office, i need the scanner and printer." you shook your head, stomach lurching with guilt as the girls face visibly dropped at the answer she had hoped against hearing. "tomorrows my rest day i'll just stay up and wait for you, watch some more of my show." alessia decided, unwrapping herself from you and heading for the lounge.

"less you've been up since like four in the morning, just go to bed." you smiled at the stubborn nature of the older girl who shook her head, curling up into a ball on the lounge and flicking on the tv.

"i can't sleep without you there." alessia frowned and your heart melted at her words. "yes you can, you manage it on away games and camps." you smiled, cupping her face and tracing the frown lines on her forehead, smoothing them out with your thumbs.

"that's different!" alessia protested, though she visibly struggled in trying to explain how.

"fine but don't fall asleep in here, you'll hurt your neck again!" you cut in to save her further struggle and warned seriously as the striker rolled her eyes. you bent down to peck her lips before padding off to your office, which was really just the third bedroom of your shared flat. alessia often needing a quiet neutral space to do her media duties you'd both deemed it a more appropriate use of the space since you already had a guest bedroom set up.

around an hour and a half later you were tracking along well, you had another two hours until your paper was due and you were already halfway done.

craving something sweet to help your motivation levels you made your way toward the kitchen, though glancing over at the lounge you sighed noting the now dead asleep mop of blonde hair still curled up in a ball.

switching routes you made a beeline for your girlfriend, squatting down beside her and gently poking at the blonde who groaned and turned around to her other side as you turned off the tv.

"babe please go to bed!" you requested while shaking her as her bright blue eyes sleepily fluttered open and she stretched, the slight wince on her face as she moved her neck not going unnoticed by you.

"told you your neck would hurt you idiot." you remanded with a shake of your head, standing and offering her a hand up, a mistake on your behalf as the girl interlocked your fingers but instead pulled you to fall on top of her, long limbs wrapping tightly around you.

"alessia!" you laughed trying to squirm out of her grip but with the taller girls build much more muscular than your own, there really wasn't a point. "don't leave me i miss you, i haven't seen you all day." she mumbled into your shoulder as you rolled your eyes playfully.

"you were only at training for a few hours, we just had dinner together and i'm right here!" you rewarded her neediness with a kiss, alessia's large hands making their way under your top and caressing your bare back. her perfectly manicured nails gently scratched against your skin and your eyes fluttered closed in relief, a sense of calm settling over you, you could happily melt into the girl and never get up again.

but unfortunately you knew this was an option not available for the taking.

"do you not love me?" you asked rhetorically, snapping the half asleep girl to attention as she scoffed. "of course i do what sort of a question is that?" she accused only hugging you tighter as she pushed her legs to slot inbetween your own, your body now well and truly trapped in her iron clad grip.

"loving partners let their girlfriends do their assignments and further their education, do you not want to be able to brag that your girlfriends a fully qualified physiotherapist?" you challenged, admittedly now becoming quite uncomfortable in her grip, it was peak summer and without the luxury of air conditioning you were beginning to get quite hot tucked in so close together.

"actually no because then everyone's going to want your hands on them. don't pretend like you haven't already promised half the girls free massages and adjustments once you graduate!" alessia quipped, though the pride and adoration in her eyes betrayed the playful sarcasm of her statement.

"yeah these magic healers will sadly no longer only belong to you!" you grinned wiggling your hands in her face as she rolled her eyes and playfully bit the tip of your index finger, you flicking at her nose in retaliation.

"but seriously i need to finish my paper and though you are the hottest girl on the planet right now you are actually the hottest girl on the planet, i'm melting!" you whined, alessia allowing you to pull her hands off and untangling her legs from yours.

"go to bed my love, i'll be there in like an hour once i finish." you assured, alessia nodding with a defeated sigh as the two of you stood, exchanging a lingering hug and a goodnight kiss before you parted ways.

alessia headed off to the bathroom to get ready for bed and you back to the office, though not before a quick detour to the kitchen for something sweet.

"if you're not beside me in an hour i'm coming to get you!" alessia yelled from the bedroom before you heard a loud squeak and a thud which would have been the blonde belly flopping onto the mattress as she did every night, normally on top of you.

smiling at her words you zoned back into your paper, eyes flicking between your computer screen and your pile of messily scribbled notes which were spread everywhere all over the desk around you.

true to her word and being unable to fully fall asleep without you beside her in bed, alessia leant against the doorway exactly an hour later, clearing her throat as you spun around in your chair to face her.

giving her a brief look of both guilt and nerves you didn't have to say much more for alessia to catch on you still weren't finished. "i'll be back again in twenty minutes, and if you're still not done then i'll be back every ten minutes after that for a kiss." the blonde pouted as you couldn't help but smile at her clingy nature, this nothing new as the harder the striker was pushed in training the more she sought out your affections when she returned home, nodding in agreement.

"i'm trying." you assured seriously and your girlfriends face softened. "i know, and i want you to get it done so we can spend the day together tomorrow stress free. i've got plans!" alessia tilted up your chin, pecking your lips as you gave her a curious look.

"plans?" "for me to know, for you to eventually find out." "that's not a terrifying thought." "are you accusing me of being a bad planner?" "well...you did forget our-" "for the one hundreth time i didn't forget our anniversary, i just simply got the dates mixed up."

"do your paper, i love you." alessia stole another kiss, running a hand fondly through your hair before padding back off to the bedroom.

what felt like only minutes later, though you knew had been much longer due to your girlfriend popping in repeatedly to steal a kiss and try to hurry you into bed with her, you bit down on your bottom lip as your eyes glanced down at the time, seeing you suddenly had only five more minutes to finish your references index.

muttering to yourself your fingers flew curiously across the keyboard, and with what was surely seconds to spare you clicked submit, exhaling deeply and leaning back in your chair, burying your face tiredly in your hands.

closing your computer you darted quickly around the flat, locking up and flicking off lights and lamps, eventually stepping into your bedroom with a small sigh of relief, checking the window was cracked open to try and diffuse the heat of the sticky summer night.

alessia sent you a toothy smile as she scrolled through her phone, eyes occasionally flicking up to stare at you as you changed into an oversized shirt, tossing your shorts and bra into a corner to be dealt with tomorrow.

"hiii." alessia grinned and opened her arms as you finally made your way toward the bed, the girl laying on top of the covers due to the heat. "hello." you smiled tiredly and collapsed into her, reaching over to flick off the bedside lamp, engulfing the room into darkness as alessia placed her phone on charge.

sincere words of endearment whispered inbetween tender kisses and soft giggles, the two of you slowly began to doze off, though no sooner had alessias body relaxed did yours tense up, the combined body heat of the two of you making your brow line bead with sweat.

checking the italian was soundly sleeping you carefully shuffled away, placing a bit of distance between the two of you as your eyes shut, finally starting to drift off.

"c'mere." alessia mumbled tiredly, reaching blindly back out for you eventually grasping at your top, pulling you back toward her.

"baby i'm sweating its so hot, can we just have a little bit of space? we can still hold hands?" you tried to bargain softly, gently removing her hands from where they clenched tightly to your top and interlinking your fingers, alessia mumbling something incoherent but not making any move to argue as you let out a quiet sigh of relief.

though it couldn't have even been a few seconds later before there was rustling beside you and alessias body flopped on top of yours, the taller blonde burying her face in your neck and grabbing your arms, tiredly wrapping them around herself as she tangled her legs with yours and muttered something you again couldn't quite understand.

sighing in defeat you slid a hand up her top and began to absentmindedly trace patterns on her back, moving your other hand to tangle in her golden locks and scratching your nails against her scalp like you knew she loved, pressing a kiss to her warm forehead and accepting you simply weren't going to sleep well tonight.

but for the seemingly touch starved blonde sleeping soundly on top of you, it would always be worth it.

[keyotos]

hey!! can i request hsr men (specifically dan heng but anyone else works too) hcs for how they are with children???

little ankle biters (endearingly)

summary ⎯ hsr men spend time with kids!!

includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, and jing yuan

tana's words ⎯ kids r so fun. i never understood the whole "i want to kick children" thing bc obviously you aren't a fun and happy person u miserable depressed freak. anyway i hope u enjoy!!

also pls forgive me if i take a little long w/ requests. i've been soo busy w/ my personal life so i'm really trying i promise

dan heng

⎯ he's awkward at first, but as he spends more time with them, he becomes less awkward and more relaxed.

⎯ so sarcastic around children. but since they're children, they don't understand it and think he's being serious. it's so amusing when you hear them all gasp at his sentences.

⎯ this all started when you dragged dan heng along to play with the kids in boulder town. at first, he wanted to refuse because he thought it would have been awkward (it was), but after some begging from your side dan heng eventually gave in.

⎯at first, dan heng was just there. the kids mostly gravitated towards you and he had no reason to get in the way with that. he was happy to admire you play around with them; besides, he was able to help you win at hide n' seek without cheating.

⎯ noticing his behavior, you didn't want to see him missing out any longer. so you, after seeing him distance himself from the kids, had an idea. you asked dan heng if you could borrow his spear. you then used to carefully poke yourself in the stomach in front of the kids, then you fell dramatically on the ground.

dan heng, confused by your actions, watched you roll around on the ground. the children were laughing, asking if you were okay or not. you continued rolling around, clutching your stomach, until you called out for dan heng, "dan heng! the brave hero! help me!!" you called out.

dan heng's eyes widened. you were acting like you were in pain when you were perfectly fine. and the children were convinced. when they all looked up at him with pleading eyes, dan heng knew he had no choice. he grabbed you by the arm to try to pull you up, but you didn't budge.

he pulled harder, yet there was still no movement from you. for a second, dan heng thought you were actually hurt before you opened your eyes and gave him a wink. you were met with a sigh of disbelief from dan heng. since he didn't say anything, you took this as an opportunity for phase two, "i need you to carry me," you whispered.

dan heng's face recoiled, "why?"

"please," you held on tighter to his hand, interlocking your fingers together. you squeezed his hand to convince him even further. dan heng knew he was screwed when he lifted you up from the ground and held you in his arms: if you were a drug, he would constantly be addicted to you.

"oh!" you exaggerated, making your voice extra loud, "i am saved! the hero of boulder town saved me!!" dan heng was trying to duck his head away from you, saving himself from further embarrassment. it didn't work, however, as he heard one of the kids say, "me next!! me next!!"

and so he spent the next hour taking kids in his arms, spinning them around, and trying to refrain from making too many sarcastic comments. for once, it seemed as though he toned down his seriousness for the kids. they were overjoyed, and they begged you guys to stay for more hours. sadly, the two of you had to refuse.

"you had fun, didn't you," you smirked while walking hand-in-hand through bouldertown.

"perhaps. did you have fun with your little scheme?" he turned his head around to look at you.

"i did," you smiled and wrapped your arm around his. "i hope to do this again some day."

yeah, dan heng hoped as well. he ended the day off with you by his side and with more positive thoughts about the children of boulder town than before.

gepard

⎯ as the captain of the silvermane guards, he had many many kids who looked up to him. even the kids in the underworld (who had never seen him before) were completely enthralled by him. he had numerous little girls wanted to marry him, as well as numerous little boys who wanted to be him.

⎯ that being said, he has very little experience with children. since he's always so busy, he never really has time to get to know belobog. yes, he does go patrolling, but that is much different than exploring all the nooks and crannies of the city, learning its customs, its culture, its people.

⎯ you've noticed this over the past few years. so you decided to change that. one day, a day where gepard finally got a day off, you took him to go sightseeing throughout the city. gepard claims he's already seen the entirety of belobog, but you think differently.

⎯ so, you've decided to drag him out of his office as a way to interact with the people he's protecting. especially the kids.

"me and captain gepard are getting married one day," you hear a little girl whisper, "he's so nice to me. he saved me and my mom once," she gossiped.

gepard looked thoroughly surprised at the girl's theory. he was about to say something before another kid butt in, "captain gepard is too busy to get married to you," he snided, "he'll be the captain and i'll be his vice-captain!"

the girl scoffed, "vice-captain isn't a thing, idiot."

you laughed at the kids' encounter with each other. they were absolutely adorable; childhood innocence in times like these is a true example of one of the worlds' wonders. "aren't they cute," you bumped gepard's shoulder, "this is what you've been missing out on."

"i had forgotten how kids behaved," gepard says in shock. "it's been a while since i was a kid."

you smirked, suddenly having an idea, "well, you can always relive it!" you shoved gepard into the circle of children.

suddenly, the girl who had been so pompous before turned away from gepard, trying to hide her flushed expression. the boy who was boasting about becoming a "vice captain" had eyes that shined brighter than the stars themselves.

"captain gepard!!" the children exclaimed. he'd never been out and about in the city before; they immediately knew this was a rare occasion. they surrounded him quickly, jumping and clapping. gepard towered over all the children, a sight that you found endearing.

"captain gepard! i want to be your vice captain soon!!" the insistent boy yelled. "and stephanie wants to marry you," he snitched.

"jacob!" the girl shoved, "that was supposed to be a secret," she scolded. jacob simply shrugged in response. trying his best not to get in between the sibling quarrell (gepard has already lived through too many of those), he turned his head around, mouthing for help.

you smiled, shook your head, and walked towards him, "okay guys, chill out. do you guys want to ask him anything?" you wrapped your arms around gepard's shoulders. it was an act of reassurance, whilst still letting the kids have fun.

"yeah," stephanie answered, "do they let stupid people," she eyed jacob, "into the silvermane guards?"

"hey!" jacob elbowed stephanie, "you're just mad because his real partner is right next to him," he gestured towards you.

your eyes widened synchronically, both of you turning towards each other. "i⎯ we're not," you blush, suddenly getting hot. the thought of marriage has crossed your mind before, but hearing these children speculate was just embarrassing.

while you try to stutter out a response, gepard silently takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand with a smile adorning his lips. you were right, this was fun.

jing yuan

⎯ actually amazing with kids. he is the perfect mix of fun and caring. literal father vibes.

⎯ kids in the xianzhou adore him. they look up to him, much like they do with gepard, but jing yuan is less awkward. however, since he's so busy, he doesn't have much time to go down and play with them.

⎯ i guess he kinda missed out on his childhood?? it wasn't unhappy bc he ended up doing something he liked, but he never had the "normal" childhood experience. but he understands children to a certain extent, like their excitement over things (ex. yanqing with swords).

⎯ type to share stories. not rlly the type to play w/ them bc he has a whole ass POLEARM. that would be very dangerous and very bad.

finally, there was a day where jing yuan had a ounce of free time to spare with you. of course, you two had your nights, early mornings, and (occasionally) evenings, but you two never had more than an hour together (not counting sleep).

so, what other way to celebrate than to finally explore what you two have missed out on? you two haven't been down in star-skiff haven in what seems like years. with your busy schedules and many prominent tasks, it was hard to make free time to leave the house a lot.

you two have been sightseeing the entire day; viewing all the star-skiffs that passed by, trying all the food, even going around various markets. but none of those amused you much as the children playing in the center of star-skiff haven did.

they were running around, jumping, and betting on star-skiffs. they all had their own individual cliques, it seemed; they were all hanging out separately.

"do you remember what it was like, being in a clique?" you turned to jing yuan who was observing the children.

"i spent most of my life training, so no," he took a sip from a drink he bought. noticing your interest in his drink, he held it out towards you, which prompted you to take a sip. you let out a sigh of delight.

"thanks," you leaned onto him, "i remember being in one of these childhood cliques. i was the freaking leader of all the children," you bragged.

"oh really?" jing yuan raised an eyebrow, "why don't you go over there and show them who's the boss?" his lips raised in a smug smile.

"i'm getting too old," you waved him off, to which jing yuan shook his head in disagreement, "you could get out there though, general."

"told you not to call me general," he pointed a finger in your face. you responded by trying to bite it off. sadly, it didn't work, as jing yuan's reflexes prove once again why he remains the general. "what would i do out there?"

"you could tell them stories," you rocked back and forth on your heels, "did you ever play with kids your age?"

"sometimes, before i started training to be apart of the cloud knights, though. but i can't really remember my life back then," he looked to the carefree kids, eyes filled with admiration.

"you could spend some time with them now," your voice raised a little bit, "you have time," you told in a soft voice.

"i suppose i do," jing yuan grinned at you.

jing yuan was popular with the children, to say the least. it seems that you would've had a rival back then; if jing yuan didn't join the cloud knights, of course. nonetheless, it was an endearing sight to see jing yuan converse with the children who were gathered by him.

he treated them so well, similar to how he would treat yanqing. he told them stories, exaggerating them to just the right amount. and every time one of them would smile, laugh, or gasp, he'd always turn towards you, giving you a smile of your own.

for someone who spent most of their childhood whisked away, jing yuan was practically a child himself.

jing yuan's probably ooc but lets IGNORE THAT and focus on how i managed to finish 2 requests in one day!!!! 2 more here we come!!!!!!!!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ann Sothern (A Letter to 3 Wives, The Blue Gardenia)_ Another unsung comedienne of the 30s and 40s, not enough people know about Ann Sothern. She was, along with her bestie Lucille Ball, originally a Goldwyn gal, but was soon a featured star in pictures. She even headlined a series of films, the Maisie movies. And though she was known for her comedies, but I fell in love with her after her dramatic role in A Letter to 3 Wives. I also absolutely love her in the noir murder mystery The Blue Gardenia. She was absolutely stunning, and I am always excited to find a movie of hers to watch. She's high on my list of "Why don't more people talk about her?" actresses

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ann Sothern:

She was so beautiful and had great comedic timing!

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

(I usually ask anonymously because I'm shy asf but I wanted to ask non-anonymously because I don't think anons get notified when their ask gets answered.)

I feel like you know enough about Killer to tell me If this sounds solid or if it's dogwater. (Also to know if this idea had already existed or not sksksk). Please tell me if I made any mistakes, though! My brain is kinda fried lately and I had the strong urge to yap :'D

So I think it has been established that Killer's bones are constantly melting due to the high amounts of determination inside of him, and he'll eventually melt away and die. I think it is also mentioned somewhere that Color promises to find a way to 'fix' his soul?

I think the viable solution would be the Determination (DT) Extractor machine. In the Undertale game, in Alphys's True Lab we see the DT Extractor machine, it is used to extract DT from the human souls to be later injected into monster bodies. I wonder if we hypothetically can use this to solve Killer's perpetually melting problem? Has anyone thought of it?

(I do think there's some sort of like Sans fights animation where Killer is thrown to the DT Extractor in the middle of battle and he loses his DT. But my memory is fuzzy...)

Thank you, have a nice day (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

I suppose that’s an option they could try, especially since Color said he knows a guy and perhaps he meant his AU’s Gaster, but would it work, and would it work without killing him or grievously injuring him? Is killer willing to risk the possibility of being changed yet again.

Would it do anything to his code? That’s changed now too.

He’s arguably spent more time with DT as apart of his being than without it. Is it just a part of him now?

It invaded his soul like a parasite, perhaps it’d be hard to remove at all (almost like it doesn’t want to be removed) (stage 4 is described as pure Determination. perhaps in a way its also like rejecting 4.) and any intense pain and trapped feelings would provoke stage 3 into instinctively fighting back and trying to survive.

which is ironic, considering how 3 could remember the feeling of invasion and wants the invading parasite out.

Perhaps killer’s biggest struggle in trying to ‘fix’ himself is himself. And instead he should focus on trying to heal and recover.

I imagine it’d be a strange feeling. watching your body struggle and fight against something you wanted and willingly agreed to, as if it doesnt understand that this was going to (supposed to) help.

maybe they make or find a smaller syringe like version to slowly take out and remove small amounts in certain times of the day, if only to prevent more damage on his body and further slow down the melting and rotting.

I’d imagine this would not only bring up trauma around his soul and people touching it or injecting/extracting things in and from it; but may also bring up a whole lot of concerns about becoming weaker, unable to protect himself and worries about having to rely on someone else.

Not only do i still feel like 3-4 would cause rather violent resistance against the idea of extraction DT (one instinctual, the other because it means losing connections to chara/the player and failing the deal), and 2 wouldnt want it for the mentioned above.

1 likely would, even if it kills him and especially if it weakens him (he’s accepted death a long time ago, it’s the final rest for him, and losing DT just means freedom and less pain and less suffering for others and him he thinks), while 2 may bury his wants deep down and go along with it if it seems to make Color happy.

But of course, if Killer doesn’t seem fully on board and enthusiastic about it, Color’s not going to make him.

{ @dseval }

[makismei]

❝ INVISIBLE STRING

♡ gn!reader x fushiguro toji

cw: established relationships, fluff fluff fluff!, piano playing reader, toji is annoying but you love him anyway, HE IS LOVESICK ! I BELIEVE HE IS A MAN WHO LOVES VERY DEEPLY FIGHT WITH THE WALL IF YOU DISAGREE

synopsis: he thinks he was always meant to find you

wc: 600+

notes from mei!

had fun with this one <333 it's been a min since i've written smth im so happy to be here rn! <3

you feel him nudge the keyboard. you understand that playing on the bed isn't ideal, but your stool broke and you don't have the energy to fix it.

so you're here, taking up a good chunk of the bed, leg dangling over the side so you can use the pedal.

"babe, stop." you sigh, rolling your eyes as you restart the same bar for the third time. adjusting your headphones, you mess around with the headphone cord that is way too short, trying to put it in a spot that doesn't interrupt your playing.

"just take the damn headphones off, lady." you hear, although it's slightly muffled and the sound of the keys drown him out.

you suck in a breath, trying to maintain the rhythm. "can't."

a hand slithers its way to the power button and you can see his shit-eating grin. "toji."

he puts his hands up, grin widening when he sees you pull your hands from the keyboard, sliding your headphones off. "m'not doing anything, baby."

"seriously though, babe," you can't see it because your sheet music is covering it, but you know he's fidgeting with the headphone plug. "why d'ya need this?"

"so i can't hear you." you deadpan.

toji rolls his eyes. you sigh.

"i don't want you to hear it when it sounds bad." you say, sliding your headphones back on. "you can hear it when it's finished and memorized."

you continue on and all he hears are the plastic keys clacking, he watches your eyebrows furrow and your eyes move across the page.

eventually, a hand lifts to flip the page as the other continues dancing across the keys, and he thinks that he could do it for you if only he could hear what you're playing, it can't be that hard to flip a page.

but he watches, silently, because if he listens hard enough he can hear the music bleeding from your headphones. he can also hear the sound of you pressing the pedal too hard and your quiet breathing.

he thinks you're beautiful. he also thinks your playing is perfect.

every time he looks at you he thinks that everything he endured was worth it, because the further he traveled down that dark tunnel, the more he went wild and lost himself in bloodlust and greed, he found you.

he's still not sure how you both ended up in the same place at the same time, but he thinks it was fate and toji never believed in "outrageous shit like that," until he met you—his darling angel that he'd do anything for.

and now he's here—in your apartment that's too posh and neat for a rugged man like him, in a room with an open window, sunlight painting the white walls and he can hear children laughing—breathing in your scent and engraving your image into his memory because he absolutely can't and will never forget you.

toji likes to lie and says that he's a changed man now that he's met you. but he's still the same, rough edged, foul-mouth bastard and he knows it when he sees the pained look on your face when he's gone too far, listening to you cry and hating that he's on the other side of the door instead of being there next to you.

(he ends up there anyway, because he'd never want you to believe his words when he gets mad, cursing himself for not biting his tongue sooner).

but he knows, where he is right now is where he was always meant to be.

he can feel it and he wonders if he's going insane.

but he meets your gaze when you look up from your keyboard, a bashful smile slowly stretching on your lips and he couldn't care less if he was going crazy.

❝ and isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

[bennie-jerry]

My Beef with Wanda Maximoff - An MCU Rant

Sorry not sorry, I will ride the Wanda-ain't-shiitake train till the wheels are worn out. I do not care what her fangirls say. And if you're legitimately going to be so overly offended just from me disliking a FICTIONAL character, I highly suggest you click off, make some tea, and watch a Ghibli movie.

How many times does it need to be said? Just because someone suffers from some form of (small or big) trauma, IT DOESN’T GIVE THEM A PASS TO DO EVIL SH—

I really REALLY sincerely hope there's lore or bits I'm missing here (and if so, PLEASE tell me because I WANT to be wrong so BAD). But from what I know and remember, I feel as though I have every right to be disgusted with who Wanda is as a person.

It frustrates me so much how this carmine-colored narcissist will whine about people being scared of her, but she does stuff only a scary person WOULD do.

Purposefully setting the Hulk off so you could use him as a wrecking ball on innocent civilians in Johannesburg during Age of Ultron? Seems scary as heck.

Literally warping the universe itself to hunt and kill a teenager who did nothing to you during Multiverse of Madness? Seems scary as heck.

Brainwashing an ENTIRE town JUST so you can live in delusion about your man not being dead during Wandavision? Seems DOUBLE scary as heck.

Don't even try to defend what she did in Age of Ultron. Even if she supposedly didn't INTEND to have civilians killed, she sure as HECK didn't seem all too sorry that it happened. She wasn't ‘regretful’ that she did it. She was only ‘regretful' when Bruce confronted her on it. She has the nerve (the utter AUDACITY) to hate Tony Stark for the same CRAP that she does (if not worse, which let's be honest—it’s worse).

At least Tony Stark DIED out of an effort to save everyone, whereas Wanda usually tends to only help others when it benefits HER.

Wanda is nothing more than a Multiversal brat with a god-complex and no one can tell me otherwise. If something does not go 100% her way, she completely acts out and throws a reality-warping tantrum.

“Oh, but she tried to fix everything in Wandavision!”

Yeah, only after finding out she was BRAINWASHING people!

How the FREAK do you reality warp an ENTIRE town (especially at the large radius she used her magic) and expect NO one to be under mind control? Would you NOT try to fly around the premises to see if ANYONE else was there?

Once again, even if this was an example where she didn't INTEND for it to happen, then that proves another great flaw that she has.

Wanda hardly (if ever) thinks through her actions. And then when her actions bite her in the butt, she has the nerve to be surprised. Wanda almost never (and I'm being generous here) considers how her actions harm or affect others until it turns around and affects HER.

She did not deserve Vision, he was too good of a man for her, sorry not sorry.

Just the stuff she did BEFORE Multiverse of Madness ALONE is enough to not like her.

Let's not even get into the fact she never ACTUALLY apologized to Bruce Banner for everything she put him through. All she said at most when he confronted her is, “I know you're angry…”

Oh wow, REALLY? I couldn't POSSIBLY understand why Banner would EVER be angry at you for essentially brain-raping him (going into his mind and memories without his CONSENT) and using his worst fears against him to trigger Hulk so you could use him like a personal killing machine, further lessening the very few support systems he already HAD. She should feel grateful Banner didn't immediately throw her through a wall upon seeing her.

“But she became an avenger and helped them in Endgame!”

I could not give less of a DOOKIE about the fact she did that. Wanda fighting Thanos was literally the ONLY option she possibly had if she didn't wanna turn into dust along with the other half of the population. Sure, she also did it because she was forced to kill her boo BECAUSE of Thanos, but let's be honest—she would've had to fight him regardless. Her handing Thanos’ butt to him (while a very cool scene) doesn't prove JACK about her character.

The fact she ever BECAME an avenger after effectively traumatizing the MAJORITY of them is mind-boggling to me.

“Oh, I'm sorry I weaponized all of your traumas against you for my own personal gain because I wanted to work with a genocidal robot, can I join you guys?”

“Sure, Wanda! Come into the team and we'll pretend like you didn't do a darn thing!”

(The fact this isn't even ALL that she's done is absurd, I can still keep going—)

Don't even get me STARTED on Multiverse of Madness. And before anyone tries to say, “She did it so she could have a reality with her children!”

BRO, HER KIDS WEREN'T EVEN FREAKING REAL—

Wanda Freaking Maximoff wanted to murder a TEENAGER all for some children that were not even ACTUAL people. And when she did have them, didn't she make them FIGHT against the military in Wandavision or am I mistaken (which I VERY MUCH hope I am because what the he---)?

I do not care whatsoever what her reason is or what trauma she went through. Attempted murder of a minor (ESPECIALLY in this case, a minor who didn't even do anything) is inexcusable to me.

There is no way in frog fingers you guys are ACTUALLY trying to justify and/or downplay a grown ADULT trying to murder a CHILD (because that's what America was—a CHILD).

(Her and Miguel O'Hara would get along GREAT, when's the collab--)

And by then, she had ALREADY brutally murdered a whole bunch of people and probably corrupted the multiverse even FURTHER than she already had.

It wasn't until an ALTERNATE version of her (who ACTUALLY had her kids) told her to sit the [BLEEP] down (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get my drift).

Wanda is NOT a victim. Is she a good villain? Yes. But this witch isn't a victim. Not anymore at least. She doesn't apologize for her actions. She doesn't take responsibility. She doesn't reflect on what she does.

And even when she DOES finally do ANY of those things in ANY capacity, the damage is already done. In fact, it's not JUST done, it's also BURNT inside the oven causing smoke to go everywhere.

There is no rhyme or reason you could pull out that will convince me to be anything short of angry with this character and I'm so tired of her fans trying to defend her just because she was a lab rat and lost her man.

Once again, it's not bad to like a character that does awful stuff. But please, for sanity sake, STOP acting like they're a lost little angel BECAUSE you like them. I know they say "hurt people hurt people" but that still doesn't justify doing bad stuff just because bad things happened to YOU.

[earthnashes]

MORE GARGYOLES AU BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'm holding watch parties on my community discord for the Gargoyles; we're still on Season 1 but even then it's really helping give me some contextual clues I need for building the AU into something more sustainable. I'm super excited to get into Season 2; we'll be finishing off this season next Thursday before we continue on! :)

But ye! For this drawing; an experiment that went a little outta hand, but I'm glad it did. I really like the look of it; giving it some level of polish without resorting to coloring. I've always liked this sort of effect but rarely do I ever do it myself, but I think I'll have to do it more because it was far less time consuming to do! :>

So ye! More lore and brick work is being laid out for the AU, and once again I've written a short story to go along with the art!

For those of you who'd rather skip though, I placed it under the "Keep Reading" line, and for context for everyone here are some AU notes along with a TL;DR summary of what's happening here:

-AU explores the concept of "what if Demona was set onto the path of Redemption?"

-TL;DR for this image: Takes place a few nights after this. Demona confronts Elisa after her talk with Angela. To everyone's surprise it doesn't go south.

----------------

By all accounts Elisa thinks she should've expected this.

Especially with the life she's chosen for herself: top-rate detective with the highest arrest rate and cases solved on the force. In direct contact with Gargoyles-- literal living legends-- on a daily basis and what that typically entails, from revenge plots to sudden trips through the very fabrics of time. Enemies from all and every side, from supernatural to plain old human to the not-so-human and zealous occult.

And traveling Central Park alone in the dead of night? By all accounts, she should’ve expected this. Yet she still wasn’t prepared for the ambush.

One second she's halfway through the tunnel under the bridge. The next? Shoved face-first into grimy, soggy stone.

The taste of iron is sharp on her tongue as her teeth cut painfully into her lip on impact. It distracts her just enough before she finally zeroes in on the claws closed tight around the nape of her neck, another set digging hard into the leather of her jacket at her pinned wrists, easily piercing the material and biting into skin. She barely has time to gather her bearings before a familiar voice is hissing hot against her ear.

"You are not as clever as you think, detective."

Elisa's heart nearly beats out of her ribcage. "Demona," she breathes, alarmed but by no means surprised. It's been months since the last attempt the she-demon's made against her. Once again, Elisa curses allowing her guard to fall; she should've known it was only a matter of time before Demona struck. No matter how long this sudden bout of tremulous peace has gone.

"What do you want."

"That's exactly what I want to know," Demona drawls, pushing Elisa further into the rough stone. There's a seething sneer in her voice. " What are your intentions with Angela?"

Elisa pauses, her unease giving way to her confusion.

"What?"

Demona responds by gripping tighter, the tell-tale rumble of a growl behind her words. "You know damned well what I mean. It's no coincidence Angela has come to me so freely. Not if it meant lowering my guard; you're up to something." The gargoyle shoves Elisa none-too-gently against the stone again, her threat stark and clear. "And I don't take kindly to the thought anyone using my daughter like she's some sort of plaything--"

"--I'd never--" Elisa starts, offended, but she barely gets a word in before she's cut off with her own agonized grunt. Demona's bodily grinding her into the wall, the rough scrape of stone chafing at the skin of her cheek. She can barely breath with how hard the gargoyle pins her, straining for breath as Demona snarls at her, long teeth clacking dangerously close to her eye.

"Liar!" She barks, and Elisa hears how her tail cuts through the air as it lashes. "It's all you humans are ever good for! Weave empty words into pretty things, only to strike when your back is turned. Angela told me herself what you said, and your words ring hollow. You and I both know you don't believe any of it. What's your game?"

"So Goliath is right, then?" Elisa huffs in lieu of an answer, stilling herself and going mostly limp in Demona's grasp. Her common sense screams at her to struggle, to find an opening and break free... but her gut tells her stay put. Her father always told her to listen to her gut when it spoke, and it's never steered her wrong before. So she breathes in as much as she dares and forces each of her muscles to relax, to appear as little a threat as possible in her position.

Not too hard to do considering the circumstances, but it takes several breaths for her heart to stop trying to burst from her chest. Nor does it really erase the glower overtaking her face.

"Is that it? Angela shouldn't be anywhere near you. Shouldn't be allowed to choose for herself and that it was a mistake to even try to talk to you?"

"By the moon we glide under, I despise you, detective!" Demona hisses, and Elisa doesn't need to see her to know her eyes have begun glowing hot red. "I'm no fool; you view me a monster. You have absolutely nothing to gain from encouraging her to see me. Nothing. So why? What do you want with her?"

"Is it really so hard to believe I care for Angela?"

"Yes." Yet there is some degree of hesitance in Demona's voice when she says it, something Elisa nearly doesn't catch. As if the she-demon almost believes her own answer, but not entirely. There's enough evidence with Elisa aiding her old Clan-- never truly for her own gain -- that brings question to her conviction. "Humans don't do anything unless they gain something in return. You are either after her, my life, or something else." Demona allows Elisa's arm free to rake her claws against the stone of the bridge. It gives way easily as if nothing but dirt, leaving deep divots in a clear display of a threat. "Do not make me ask again."

"Then you're right," Elisa replies easily-- or as easily as her position allows-- and of all the responses she could've gotten Demona doesn't expect that. It's clear in how much she loosens her hold on Elisa in apparent surprise, no longer choking her so much as simply holding her in place now. Elisa's instincts flair then; demand she elbows the she-demon in the belly and get distance, yet even still her gut urges her: stay put.

"I do have something to gain. Angela's happiness."

Elisa doesn’t expect her words to have any real effect. Readies herself for Demona to snap at her again. Force her against the unforgiving stone, have her taste her own blood again, maybe even work up the nerve to inflict the bodily harm she always threatens. This is probably the closest she's gotten in a long while.

But Demona does… nothing. Simply a presence behind her. One simmering with barely held anger and confusion and the weight of her own paranoia. But still as stone—listening-- all the same.

Stay put.

Elisa takes in a shaky breath.

"She's miserable, you know. When the clan speaks ill of you," She breathes quietly, surprising herself with the gentleness in her own voice. "Goliath explicitly forbids her from ever trying to talk to you. He thinks you're a lost cause." It’s not hard to think of Goliath’s demeanor in those moments; regret, sadness, guilt, traces of betrayal and anger whenever he speaks of his ex. He's long since given up on reaching out to Demona.

"And maybe I did too, once. But now, I--"

The look on Demona's face when realizing who Angela was flashes through her memory. The shock, quickly replaced with unbridled joy and hope. Something Elisa was unsure Demona could feel up until that very moment.

"--you could've left us to die by Thailog's hand. You could've ended all of humanity with just a press of a button. But you didn't."

Elisa doesn't mention the sudden lack of schemes against all of mankind. She doesn't mention the abrupt disinterest in attacking the Clan. She doesn't say anything about how--even after all this time, even now-- she is still alive, when Demona has had ample chances to rid herself of her. Elisa is no slouch: she's proud enough to admit she's held her own against Demona a fair number of times. But there were times where only her keen eye and years of training caught the very slight hesitance from Demona when she was all but helpless.

"I don't think you're a lost cause," Elisa says unwaveringly. Nothing in her voice gives way to any underlying uncertainty she has. To the questions she burns to ask—why? What changed? -- but won’t. Not yet. "I have my reservations. But I don't think it's anyone's place to make that decision for Angela. Nor do I think it's fair to rob you of the chance to prove to her you're more than your past."

Elisa hesitates for just a second before she says clearly into the silence of the night, compelled by Demona's uncharacteristic show of restraint: "...I-I don’t think you’re a monster."

I never thought you to be.

The thought comes unbidden, and it catches her off guard at how honest it is. She doesn’t put it to words, only remaining in place and holding steady. Waiting.

Demona still doesn't say anything. Doesn't really do anything at first, but there's a very clear shift in the air, subtle as it may be. Elisa's instincts are no longer in overdrive, no longer in high alert of danger. Somehow  --even in Demona's sharp grasp-- there is no more danger to be aware of.

It's in the way the gargoyle's silence turns contemplative and not a raging storm cloud. In how she suddenly doesn't dig so hard in Elisa's jacket, tucking the tips of her claws safely against the leather and not into delicate skin. The intent is no longer there.

Demona mutters something to herself, low enough for Elisa not to hear what she says, but even with her keen senses it still manages to surprise the detective when the gargoyle simply... moves away.

It's by no means gentle. She abruptly drops the human without any sort of care, allowing her to crumple under her own weight when she finally touches ground after several minutes being held aloft. But the principle still stands.

Demona let her go.

"…I don't believe you," She grunts in a voice filled with scorn, but the usual bite is missing. Elisa allows herself a moment to rub at the scratches and welts those wicked claws left behind. She clears her throat before she chances a glance at the gargoyle and finds her back turned to her.

"I'm not asking you to," Elisa says softly. She eyes the gargoyle warily. "And I still don't trust you. But I do trust Angela. She saw something worth her time in you; the least I can do is support her... and be there if it blows up in her face."

When Elisa finds the energy to stand, she musters up a warning glare at Demona, stance cautious but no less filled with promise. "Don't make me regret it."

The threat behind it is barely veiled, and it must be the right thing to say, because Demona only barely casts a glance her way. Her eyes are hard to read. And despite it, Elisa can see the smallest hint of something in them when forest green sweeps over her, foot to face, the faintest upturn to the corner of her mouth.

"Then we are on the same page."

--------------------------

-------------

For some extra context:

-Demona is referring to how Elisa told Angela that she does actually believe Demona isn't pure evil, or a threat to her. Elisa doesn't trust Demona at all, but she recognizes that something has shifted in the gargoyle, and she knows she would never hurt Angela, so she sets aside her own doubts and encourages Angela to seek her mother out. I have plans to draw and write this interaction in the future so we have more context in this regard!

-Elisa strikes me as the type to be able to see things in varying shades of gray: Goliath isn't wrong in his reluctance to allow Angela near Demona, but she honestly doesn't think her heartless or a completely lost cause. Especially after she learns some of Demona's past

-Demona would never admit this, but she does actually respect Elisa. Much to her chagrin. Unlike most humans whom she barely bats an eye toward, she sees Elisa as her equal in prowess and intelligence, and she hates that she does, but she'd be a fool if she ignored it.

The further I get into the show I'll expand on this idea, but that's it for now. :)

[xotaemintol]

JSMR [pt.1]// LEE JENO X FEMBLACK READER

[she/her pronouns are used. Warning, this fanfiction includes: cursing, drinking, smoking, mentions of cheating, abusive relationship dynamics, mentions of cyber bullying, protected sex, virgin idol, and more. If any of this these things are triggering for you, please look away. Minors, do NOT interact. Thank you.]

//fluff with slight angst//

(Jeno is an AMSRIST, for the last few years he’s comforted you through your toxic relationship with his videos, lulling you to sleep on your most difficult nights. After years of being one of his biggest fans, you’re finally able to meet him through a mutual friend of yours and your worlds finally being to align.)

//your point of view//

"Everyone, welcome to J...S...M...R. I'm Jeno. Hello, hello, hello. Today, I have something exciting planned—it's a little different from the usual things I do, but I wanted to do something special since I'll be reaching 10 million subscribers soon. So, for today I-"

"Y/N!" I jump as my headphones are ripped out of my ears aggressively by my boyfriend. "I told you to be ready by 4pm on the dot, not 4:01, not 4:02, not 4:03. Four O'fucking clock, are you deaf or something? Like seriously, do I have to spell it out for you every time and then basically drag you out the house?" I roll my eyes and snatch my headphones back from his hand.

"I swear, it's like you're five years old or something. What adult is that bad at time management?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes, he shook his head and looked around the bathroom.

"It's only 3:57, why are you-" He cuts me off before I can finish and yells; "I don't care! I told you 4 O'clock!" He holds his hand up in my face, showing four fingers to further emphasize his point. "By the time we leave it'll be 4:02, I get that you're used to having no where to be and nothing to do unless I'm involved—but people like me are punctual." He complains.

Just like always I'm silent, listening his seemingly endless tirade. I never understand why he's so adamant on dragging me along to every single one of his 'social events', he knows I hate going—yet and still, he remains selfish and drags me along. He says it's to "show off his beautiful girlfriend” and to teach me out to properly “network”. But I think it's to show others that he's successful in every aspect of life.

He's a talented artist, he has the nicest cars and clothes, he's young and handsome, and to accompany him he has a young and beautiful foreign girlfriend.

It's tiring being paraded around by him, and it never makes him look good—most people wonder why I'm still with him after six years. There's been countless scandals about him cheating on me at parties, or ones about us secretly living in separate homes; all of his close friend wonder why I haven't left him.

Still, he wants to pretend for the public and clean his image of being a shitty boyfriend.

"Are you even listening?" He slams his hand down onto the vanity and lowers his gaze to me, "Yah," He says in a low tone. "Didn't I tell you to stop watching that crap?" My eyes widen when he says this, immediately I go to grab my phone—he beats me to it though, and snatches it off of the vanity then takes a step back from me.

I face him completely, turning my body from the large mirror as I say in the most stern voice I can muster; "Joohyun, give me my phone now."

He laughs and raises his arm above his head.

"Seriously, Y/N do you know how pathetic you are? I'm trying my hardest to help you be a somebody, but you'd rather watch this loser and be a shut in, when you could be the girlfriend of me—I've told you twice already, stop watching these weird videos or I'll break up with you."

My heart skins at his harsh words, but not because of his ultimatum. I couldn't care less about him leaving me, it sinks because I know one thing for sure—I'm not a shut in, and wanting comfort doesn't make me pathetic.

With tears slowly building in my eyes and I glare at him.

"What makes you so special?" I ask.

"Why are you so special? Is it because you had one successful art piece in your whole career?"

Joohyun, with a face full of anger; holds my phone with both his hands. His face is red and slightly blurry from the tears in my eyes.

"You wouldn't even be known if not for me, and you'd rather bite the hand that feeds you than be normal?" He lowers his hands, my phone still gripped tightly inside of them.

His words are slightly true. Before dating him I was just a small social media presence, my videos about my experience as a black woman in South Korea were well received—becoming viewed as 'charming' and 'pure', by Koreans and other black women and men who want and or wanted to travel to South Korea. But dating Joohyun really kicked my career off the ground, people fell in love with our relationship.

We became known as a beautiful couple the moment we began dating, our love story to everyone else was seen as the perfect match. People were ecstatic to see that thee Lee Joohyun had fallen in love with a foreigner and cheered for us.

But that was four years ago. Before he was caught cheating on me, before it was found out that I decided to move out for a month due to his abusive language. Now, we're only a shell of our former selves—eating each other away slowly. My passion for creating content was being overshadowed by his work and his control, and now as I look at him with hot tears streaming down my cheeks—I want to break free.

"I'd rather be nobody than be stuck with you for another day."

He says nothing, I can see his arms go slack for a second before he inhales deeply and presses his tongue against his cheek.

"Yah...Y/N," His voice his shaky, through my tears I can see him blink away a few tears of his own. "You don't know what you're talking about, I'll give you another chance." He pauses.

"Me...or him."

I stare at him as I sniffle and wipe my tear stricken face. There was a time where I loved him the most, we planned to get married one day and raise our children to be successful and happy. We were so perfect for each other in the beginning, our flame burned so brightly. Joohyun and I moved in together not even two years into our relationship, because we were so sure that we'd last for ever and that flame would burn endlessly; like two young fools in love, we moved so fast. But now I can see the end of that tunnel, there's nothing but ashes left from those flames and I hate the smell.

I take a deep, and long breath and close my eyes. My voice is shaky as I speak but I'm sure as I say; "Him." That I mean it.

For a moment, he's silent. He says nothing and he doesn't move. From my phone I can hear the sound of Jeno's voice softly whispering, for the better part of about three years; his asmr has comforted me countless of nights. And even in moments like this, but as I hear his voice I feel a pain in my chest.

"Everyone, have you eaten today? You know, I like when you guys leave long comments for me—I always read them when I'm alone, so tell me: what did you eat today? Was it good? Did you like it? Are you trying new things? I want to hear from you, it's fun doing these videos…but when I'm done; I have no one to talk to. So, talk to me, even if it's through the screen, I still want to hear your thoughts."

Joohyun nods his head and says in a quiet tone; "Fine."

In the blink of an eye he raises both his arms and slams my phone down onto the tiled floor, I scream as the screen shatters before turning black. I can no longer hear Jeno's voice, just the sound of Joohyuns heavy breathing and my own crying.

"I'll find someone better than you, and you'll still be here in this weird parasocial relationship with that-that loser!" He throws his head back and lets out a choked cry as I grab my phone. His crying doesn't phase me, not even the sounds of his sobbing.

I hold my phone tightly in my hands and look up at him, I wish that looks could kill.

_

"Hello everyone! I'm Y/N, your personal travel guide of South Korea! Today, I'm here with Lee Joohyun, and we have some news to share. It's been a while since I've talked about our lovely Joohyun, right? I'm sorry, we've been so busy lately that I could hardly upload anything." I say to the camera.

I glance over to Joohyun with a forced smile expecting him to be holding his composure well, but instead, his eyes are watering.

"Joohyun, please...don't make this hard for both of us. It's what you wanted, can't we at least do one video normally?" He sighs and nods his head.

"I just can't believe I even dated a loser like you...and I let you break my heart." I roll my eyes and look away from him.

"Just leave, I'll do it alone." Without any protest he leaves and I restart the recording.

"Everyone, hello! This is Y/N, your personal South Korea tour guide! Today, I have some sad news to share, but first! I want to share good news with you!" I say with a smile. "So, yesterday while attending an event I got to see someone very famous, he was there to talk about his experience as a Yortober, can you guess who it is?"

I pause for dramatic affect and then with as much excitement I can manage I continue.

"It was the photographer Na Jaemin! He was so amazing, he spoke about his latest project Narcissism, he said that he's been working with six others on this project for a few years now and that it will be released soon with an exhibition—I will be personally attending the exhibition as a guest, so I hope to see you guys there. If you're touring Korea this fall then please join me and enjoy Na Jaemin’s Narcissism."

I clap my hands together and inhale deeply, now that the easy part is over...I need to get to the hard part.

"Now, you're probably wondering what the bad news was, right? Well, there's really no easy way to say this, but I'm sure you all guessed that one day I'd be saying this. It's hard to say it, but Joohyun and I have decided to officially spilt up..." As the words leave my mouth I feel a heavy weight lift off of my shoulders, it feels good to finally say it.

It feels like I’m actually free.

"There's no deeper reason for it, we just felt that it was the right thing to do..." But as I continue I begin to feel choked up, my eyes start to water but a genuine smile starts to form. "Joohyun and I loved each other till the end, we gave each other endless support and constant comfort—in the last two-three years though, things have just been harder." I quickly wipe my tears and sit up straight behind the table.

"Sometimes I think I'm to blame, sometimes he feels the same. But no one is to blame, we just moved to quickly—that's okay though, now, we're both going our separate ways so we can better ourselves and continue to grow and love others endlessly. I hope everyone can understand, it's okay if you don't; but please be kind to us both, especially Joohyun. Please continue to support his art and please continue to support my videos, we'll both do our best and work harder, so please stay by our sides."

The door opens and my manager silently signals for me to end the video, I nod my head and focus back onto the camera and wipe my tears again.

"But, don't be sad guys! I will still be your personal tour guide, providing you insights on all of South Korea's beauties and hidden gems. Thank you for your support and your love, as always, I'm Y/N and I'll be back to show you the beautiful creations of one of South Korea's favorite young photographers, Na Jaemin. Well, goodbye!"

I end the video and sit back down in the chair, slouching against it as my manager rushes to my side.

"Wow, Y/N, you did amazing!" She exclaims while handing me a box of tissue. "I almost thought you guys were seriously in love for a second."

I laugh at her playful comment and blow my nose.

"Do you really think I did good?" I ask, "They won't be upset will they?" She smacks her gums and shrugs while coming to the side of me.

She pats my back and offers me a gentle smile. Yurim has been with me since the beginning, after I was signed under company called Starslip she was assigned to be my manager. She's seen the ins and outs of every good and bad moment in my life, she's supported me and helped me through everything. Yurim even knows the truth about Joohyun and I, she knows about the cheating, fighting, and even him breaking my phone.

If there was one person I know will support me leaving that asshole, it's Yurim.

"Maybe, some will and some won't—most people know about him being a cheater though, so...I think people will side with you and that he'll face backlash, especially since he wasn't even here."

Suddenly I'm hit with realization as I remember that I told him to leave.

"Oh! Is he still here?" She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. I stand up and push my chair back. "He left crying and mumbling 'she should've loved me instead' like a baby." She responds while laughing.

I scoff, "There's no reason for him to cry—he's the one who treated me like shit, I just gave him what he wanted." She nods and purses her lips together.

"Mhm, yeah. He's lucky you didn't leave him three years ago..." She pauses and huffs while pulling her long black hair back, "Wanna get some Kamja-Jeon? It's the perfect time for it." I shake my head.

I don't exactly feel like eating potatoes, I want something spicy.

"I want spicy ramen."

[willowed-wisp]

HER KNIGHT, HIS HEART - part six

previous | next

Ser Harwin Strong x female!OC/x reader

WARNINGS: mentions of non-con, suggestive themes, mentions of death, descriptions of childbirth

Their bliss had to end at some point. And it was business as usual. Logistics hadn’t been taken into account upon being wed.

Where would they take up as permanent residence?

With Harwin being in the City Watch and her wanting to watch over Alicent and Rhaenyra, they were to remain in King Landing. The Princess would have ordered she remained in Court anyhow.

Elspeth secretly hoped to smuggle her younger sibling away - from the grasp of the Crown and Lord Hand. It would have been easily done… not in her condition, though. She could barely smuggle herself anywhere, let alone another.

She had no idea where Cannibal was. Dragon tamers unable to keep them in the Dragonpit, what was the point in having a dragon if she didn’t know where it roosted?

The newly-wed bride did not want the stress- and she wouldn’t tolerate it. Harwin had left for watch with a kiss. At least they were allowed to sleep in the same bed- in the same chambers.

Despite the ethereal haze she found herself in the thralls of, Elspeth was aware of the wariness of the council concerning Viserys’ marital standings. Rhaenyra had been less exuberant, watching her father walk around gardens with a twelve year old Laena Velaryon. It wasn’t her business to expose Alicent, but with this growing sense of betrayal the Strong found herself approaching the princess’s chambers.

Knocking in a weak motion with her left hand, “Rhaenyra…” A voice came from the other side. The woman plodded through the door, Rhaenyra getting ready for cupbearing duties. A frown turned to smile seeing Elspeth.

"I trust you enjoyed your afternoon with Ser Harwin..."

"You should not think about such things, princess..." A gleeful tone, "I hear Lord Corlys and Rhaenys are in Court... as is little Laena..." That struck a cord in Rhaenyra. Elspeth closed the door, withdrawing further into the room. "You can talk to me, you know... I'm no longer a Hightower, after all." Picking at her nails, not sure when the right time was.

"How does it come so easy for you?"

"What are you referring to?"

"Being yourself. Everybody tries to smother me from me... what are the 'order of things' supposed to be? My father named me as his heir, they all bent the knee to me... and so their loyalty..." Rhaenyra slumped against whatever was closest- the foot of her bedframe. "You didn't relent for two years when your father lined up suitors for you and planned engagement after engagement against your will, yet here you stand, a Strong because you fell in love and made the choice," Tears brewed as her blood boiled- Elspeth could feel it from across the room.

The woman dragged herself closer, "I thought you wanted to 'fly around on Syrax with me and eat cake'? Not the throne. What's changed, Nyra?"

The girl struggled under the green gaze, "I don't know... I never thought I would ascend to the throne... just because I am a girl. If my father remarries and produces male heirs, my claim along with the memory of my mother and Baelon fades into the background. I will not be thrown to the wayside by my father's new bride..." She spat with pure venom.

Now was the time, "There's something you should know..." Risen blonde eyebrow in response, "My father coerced and manipulated Alicent to give company to the King..."

Rhaenyra's eyes glossy, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think you deserve better than to lose a friend because of a moronic play at power for a stupid chair," Elspeth did not care how Rhaenyra reacted- this could dissuade serious ramifications, "Blame Otto Hightower, not my sister."

The Princess was statuesque- thinking, "How long have you known?"

Her gut felt torn- wavy. "A half-year," A simple nod, but Rhaenyra chewed her lip while Elspeth tore her nail down to the cuticle- both drawing blood, "The King was so devoted to Queen Aemma, that I never thought the King would remarry..."

Her blonde hair shook, "You always have and always will be a Hightower. You didn't think to tell me that Alicent of all people was going behind my back to marry my father... I haven't lost one friend... I have lost two sisters!" The Princess had screamed, growing in closeness so that it was directly in Elspeth's face.

"Rhaenyra..."

"You will address me as 'Your Grace'! Now leave before I have you removed..." Elspeth was utterly defeated... how had she thought Rhaenyra would act anything less than what she had? Because she hoped that she would see Alicent as her best friend and not as an usurper.

But know she saw Elspeth Strong as one in the same.

Though Elspeth would stand by what she said and the honesty she held. Hoping that the blow was lessened to the Princess when Alicent was named as King Viserys' betrothed. The woman would hold her baby sister as she cried- allowed to in Elspeth's arms, instead of the Princess who did so alone in her chambers and on the back of Syrax.

She ventured out that very afternoon on the back of her horse, unaware of where Cannibal had abandoned her to. No guard would have been able to capture the wild Lady Strong- as she rode like the wind on the back of Slapdash- or 'Dash'. She ventured down to the beaches- greeting remarks unto the fishermen that scattered the sodden beach at lowtide. "Lady Hightower, or should I say 'Lady Strong'..." The wise, feminine voice spoke from behind- settling at her side. “Congratulations are in order.”

"Princess Rhaenys, I'm flattered that you even know my name," She was still gorgeous- moon-kissed hair and soulful eyes. She had never been the 'Queen That Never Was' to Elspeth, she had always thought, 'The Queen That Should Have Been'.

A slight laugh caught the ferocious howling winds, "You're much too modest... you've defied every order you have ever been barked, I admire that kind of strength," They continued to ride at a steady trot, beside one another.

"You flatter me so. But I think you speak for reason, Princess, not out of necessity- what business do you have with me?"

"Yet you are a wildcard. Just like your father... at least you are shrewd.”

"I have never heard the Lord Hand be called a wildcard before..."

The Princess stopped, "I may live off-shore, Elspeth, but I am no fool. The Hightowers have never married into Valyrian heritage- bar your sister now. So how by the Seven, did you manage to bond with a dragon," not a question, "Otto Hightower is not your father. Prince Daemon is, but from the look on your face... that is not news to you."

Elspeth turned around her horse, to face the Velaryon, "With all due respect, Princess, what does that matter? Nobody at court is aware, and they never will be." Rearing Dash around, away from Rhaenys.

"Those blonde hairs will keep regrowing," A smile- Elspeth didn't know of what kind- graced Rhaenys' lips as she spun her head back, "Alyrie Florent, unlike everybody in her House- had always held such beauty, like yours. I used to call her 'Red', not very inventive but it suited that gorgeous hair and her temperance. She was my closest friend even before Otto was made Lord Hand to my cousin." Contemplation slowed the Princess- memories behind those eyes unravelled as she spoke.

"Why did she never mention it?" A tear slithered down her cheek, quickly wiped away before facing the now much closer Princess Rhaenys. Eyes solemn and kind- she could imagine her mother being friends with such a formidable lady.

Rhaenys gave a warm smile, "When Alyrie was first with child- with Gwayne- I was there during his birth and through till his second nameday. Then she was with child again- you, she was different. Taken unwillingly by Prince Daemon... and mortified that you carried the blood of the dragon," she paused, a soulful gaze, "I never spoke to her again after that. Otto Hightower forbade her associating with Targaryens or Velaryons because of what happened. And so, I never got to know her other children and Gwayne will have no memory of me."

Elspeth fought that urge to bawl, "I will repeat the question, Princess. Why does any of this matter?" Not preventing the droplets descending down her cheeks- not unnoticed by the Velaryon, who garnered closer- touching distance.

"When Viserys marries your half-sister, she will produce male heirs and then a battle for succession will take place. When you have to pick a side- Rhaenyra's or the new claimant, I wanted you to know," The woman grabbed Elspeth in her gloved hand- locking eyes with one another, "That you are always safe and welcome at Driftmark- with your Lord husband and future kin." Elspeth was not one for physical affection from those she didn't know, but she held tighter onto that hand- as if it were that of Alyrie Hightower.

"That is very generous of you, my Princess," Those doe eyes looked upon the younger woman.

Hand still holding hers, "No need for such formalities. It is Rhaenys to you, as it should have always been."

"Am I-," Hesitant to ask- fearing the answer, "Am I like her? When she was my age?"

Rhaenys gave a low laugh, "Forgive me. It is just... I have to remind myself that it is not her hand in mine. You are the spitting image and essence of her. In every way, shape and form."

Lady Strong had returned to the Red Keep. Head clearer and shoulders bore less weight. Settled in her husbands chambers- looking at the blank page on the desk. To her elder brother.

No ink, parchment remained. She didn’t exactly know what she wanted to write- she needed stability for the good of her and so she could better the lives of those she loved. Gwayne had remained so clear and fair in Oldtown. But she could not muster the words to ask him and so that blank slate remained the same.

Until firm hands braced her shoulders, she sat there trying to come up with some kind of genius that awaited. Thumbs wound into the tense muscles from being hunched over. A moan slipped through her parted lips, “Lady Strong,” it was him, “watch your mouth, I may put it to other uses…” a heat inside of her funnelled.

Lips on hers, tongue delving as she keened her face to his- bearded and rough. “Get on the bed, Ser.” Her last words before only screaming his name and curses.

Hopefully the entire Red Keep heard who she belonged to that looming sunset.

When the sunrise hooded the sky in peach and aqua- she knocked at the Princess’ door, knowing she would be up and ready to ride Syrax, without word she entered. Sharp blue eyes burned her, “You are not welcome in here…”

But she was not leaving, “I know that, Princess. But may I explain- you didn’t give me chance the other day - if our friendship was worth anything, let me do that much?”

She weighed up the idea, “You have five minutes.”

“My father wanted a linchpin in the Crown... and Alicent was his way in,” the Princess was listening with care, “She had been taking some of my gowns and some of our mother’s- I approached the Lord Hand, who… forcefully…. stopped my investigation,” her hand went to the spot that had been bruised, before it dropped to her side. Rhaenyra seemed to get the insinuation.

“If we are to be friends again. Are there any more secrets you are keeping from me?”

“Your uncle, Daemon, is my father. Hence I bonded with the Cannibal- not that I know where the beast is…”

Rhaenyra was taken aback at first, before realising the similarities between the pair.

Unruly.

Furious.

Deadly.

The personalities were uncanny, yet Elspeth held remorse and accountability for her own actions while Daemon had never been the honest type. “And how long have you been withholding that from me?” Impatience rued Rhaenyra’s voice, not that Elspeth was entitled to give her an answer- it hadn’t necessarily been the princess’s business. But she wasn’t to say that aloud.

“Not even a week… my father told me. Mother was attacked by the Prince, I am the result.” Rhaenyra was young, Elspeth truly hoped that when she grew older that she would see the bigger picture if she didn’t already see it in that second.

Elspeth never wanted to hurt anybody - she wanted the least collateral damage for those she cared for. And sometimes that meant keep information secret. Rhaenyra had such loses in that year, she couldn’t bear to scorn her with dragonfyre onto the already burned girl.

“So what did you come here to say? Make excuses?”

“I came to say that I’m sorry. For lying to you, Princess,” it took everything Elspeth had not to drop to her knees, “And I hope you can forgive me because I cannot lose a true sister of the soul- I will never lie to you again, lest I be sent down to the Seven hells-,” cut off by the Princess’ body wrapped around her own. Chin nestled into one another’s shoulders. Rhaenyra cried from the bottom of her heart. As she always had been able to in the arms of Elspeth Strong.

And Elspeth was neither Florent, Hightower or Targaryen… from that day onward she was a Strong and she upheld that name well.

Especially when she was carrying the future heir to their House. The woman discovered a week after Alicent’s wedding.

She had nearly forgotten about her dragon, but it showed up when she discovered the news. Despite the advice from Maesters not to ride dragons in her condition- who was going to stop Elspeth Strong?

Upon her return- smelling like dragon - she thought her husband would be a little more concerned of her dealings but he just twirled her around. Causing her to giggle. The pair went against another advisory of the Maesters…

The more she flew on the Cannibal they became acquainted, friends. One soul. And she detested calling her companion ‘the Cannibal’. So she asked the dragon about itself… not much response was received- dragons only understood Valyrian, not spoke it. They circled around the plains Dragonmont; the beast’s nest.

She had asked its name over and over- when it reached that midnight indigo dusk, the Cannibal roared at the horizon.

Dusk.

Remembering her mother’s words.

'The one of dusk and blood.'

She spoke, “Ebrion,” the dragon roared.

Ebrion the Cannibal. But for all intents and purposes he was no longer a cannibal- that’s what Elspeth told herself anyway.

She had never experienced such pain liked childbirth. Nor had she felt it being restrained from the touch of her husband- who had been barricaded outside of the door. With the Lord Hand and Ser Gwayne- who she had sent a letter to two months prior, requesting him there to meet his future niece or nephew.

Elspeth wouldn’t have heard the end of it if she hadn’t. He had always been a diva.

But the woman wanted one person as her head went numb from the pain, “Harwin!” A banshee, the Maester attempted to calm her down. She batted his hand away, “I want my husband. Harwin!”

A ruckus from outside. There he was, barrelling through the heavy doors- a midwife swiftly closed them. His fingers weaving through her hair. Elspeth’s heart rate dropped, she could breathe easier… now he was here. Holding her hand in his over side palm. Kissing her temple. “You’re doing beautifully, my heart…” His voice low and charming. Her gentle knight…

An involuntary push.

And the cries of a babe filled the room. All the chaos in the room background noise. She purely focused on that sweet, innocent face as the babe was wrapped and cleaned by one of the many women in the room. “It is a boy, Ser Strong.” Harwin’s nose nuzzled into her neck.

The woman witnessed her husband - her heart - fall in love with another person. As he had seen with her the entirety of her pregnancy. She had spoken to this tiny human being for nine months in her stomach. And now he was finally there. “Do you have a name, my Lord?”

“Alyric.” Her heart beamed, looking into the bluebell eyes of her beloved. And back to the identical ones of Alyric Strong. Named after his grandmother, and looked wholly like his father. Down to the dark hair and that grin.

Once in his father’s arms Alyric stopped his crying and fell into a sleep. She was covered once again- bloodied sheets and afterbirth out of the room with Maester and midwives.

The room filled by her father and brother. “Meet Alyric Strong.” Her father looked tired as per usual but adoration filled his eyes at the boy cradled in her arms. Gwayne was instantly reaching to hold the boy.

A smile on his face, before finding himself again. Clearing his throat, “May I hold my nephew, dear sister? Ser Harwin?” They both gave gentle nods, handing the bundled babe to his uncle- whose eyes glazed over. “He resembles his father.”

As she rested against the muscular shoulder, she looked at her father. The Hand of the King couldn’t take his eyes away from Alyric. “You may pass Alyric to our father, Gwayne. If you wish, father?” The brown haired man nodded, cradling Alyric much better than Gwayne had- he would learn when he had children of his own.

Her father didn’t say much at all. Leaving a kiss upon the boy’s forehead, Harwin received his son back into his arms; where he could stay for the rest of his life simply looking upon the babe.

The men left for the duties. Gwayne would return back to Oldtown in a week’s time. Ser Lyonel, avoiding the Lord Hand, arrived later that day. While Elspeth slept. Her sister carried the King’s child, and for the duration of her pregnancy had not been allowed to exit her chambers but she was due in three months. Little Alyric was not starved of visitors, blessed with the love of two Targaryen princesses.

Rhaenyra visited the day of his birth. Claiming he was a handsome child who would grow up with the fairness of his mother.

Rhaenys visited while her husband Corlys was fighting in the Stepstones- alongside Daemon. “You have been blessed with a handsome boy,” she arrived while Harwin was in attendance. “If you ever wish for him to be sent to Driftmark… all you need do is ask,” a warning. If Daemon made it out of the war against the Triarchy, she may indeed make use of that offer.

But, “I will not be scared of tyrannical Prince,” Elspeth warned a smile from the princess.

“I didn’t think you would, Elspeth.”

Elspeth loved being a mother, but she also loved to fly around on Ebrion. The dragon did not devour young Alyric upon meeting the future inheritor of Harrenhal- the dragon merely nuzzled the boys forehead with gentle touch. But she limited the encounters while he was so young- not blind to Ebrion’s past.

Elspeth’s own nephew was born with a mane of angelic Valyrian hair. Prince Aegon Targaryen. Rhaenyra’s claim was diluted. Her father called for Aegon to be named heir, because of his sex.

Harwin’s uniform had been ripped off his body by his Lady wife every night he returned from patrols. And she was with child four months after the birth of Alyric.

Despite the strengthened relation with Otto Hightower, Elspeth couldn’t help but support her Princess’ claim to the throne.

She would follow Rhaenyra to whatever end. But hopefully it did not come to that.

Her and Harwin would protect their children fiercely. With a dragon at her call.

Even if that meant facing against her family in a battle of succession… at least she knew their weaknesses…

___________________________

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Crystal Demon Appleradio AU [Hazbin Hotel x Steven Universe]

(Entirely motivated by my appleradio rotten brain and watching What Can I Do For You music video in repeat for hours.)

In this universe demons are not real. What humans call demons is what they remember Crystal Demon doing or what has been passed down orally through generations. Lucifer Quartz (Rose Quartz) The younger and smallest Diamond that was vanished and exiled from their home planet when he dared to fight to stop the colonization of Earth, managing to hurt Sera/White Diamond in the process. He is forbidden to ever coming out of the planet, not even to the moon or any of the other planets he liked to visit. At least he enjoys his life in Earth with only a handful of crystals that followed him, even after his "betrayal" to their entire species was known. The rest of crystal kind despises him and would consider it an honor to get to kill him, presenting his shards to the other Diamonds for the biggest honors possible. It doesn't matter that the Diamonds never really promised that either.

All the other Crystal Demons know who he is, there is no secret second identity.

Adam (Amethyst)

A crystal demon that was created right at the start of the war and was convinced by Lucifer to fight on his side. Mostly because he enjoyed earthly pleasures, so obviously he should be on the side that would allow him to still have them. Through out the years, though, he has come to regret his decision and desperately wishes to come back to the good grace of their Diamonds. Hard to do that when they don't want anything to do with him. Also the fact that he actually does like Earth, but he won't admit to that.

Husk/Angel (Ruby/Sapphire)

They both openly and freely decided to follow Lucifer on the war. Their biggest motivation was able to have a calm life without conquering planets or living under the iron thumbs of the Diamonds, to be somewhere where they could fuse whenever they wanted to and for no reason at all. They are not a permafusion, but do it frequently anyway. They mostly want to chill. Charlie Quartz (Pearl)

She was the result of Lucifer experimenting with his life giving magic. Technically an accident, but still the best thing that could have happened to Lucifer because he adores his daughter to bits and wouldn't change her for anything in the world. Her creation has to be kept a secret from the other Diamonds less they decided to use her to punish Lucifer further. She was around just before the end of the war and does not like it when Lucifer plays with humans because she knows that they could hurt her papa. She has seen it happen so many times before. They are so fragile, they die so quickly, and in the end Lucifer always takes it the hardest. She doesn't like Alastor for this reason.

Alastor Galaxy (Greg Universe)

A failed radio host that turned into trying to make his own music to get back on the radio. With his own keyboard and a scummy producer (Vox) that at least gets him gigs, Alastor came to know Lucifer by chance when he was giving a concert on the same island he resides in. When he heard Lucifer singing along with him he just fell, no parachute or warning, only learning about his true nature after their first date. He is often confused and lost when it comes to Crystal Demon things, but knows to keep his cool and accept the weird situations they end up with the best way he can. He might also be more resistent than the average human after years hunting down other adults. Lucifer does not fully understand why does he had that compulsion, but gets convinced by Alastor that they were all horrible people (and they were, for his standards) so they deserved it anyway. Alastor is the first human in a long, long while that Lucifer makes a deal with to tie their lives together. The conditions are that Lucifer will never "play" with another human as long he is alive and Alastor will make sure to make it worth it for Lucifer by giving him an entertaining life together. This was the solution that Alastor came to when Lucifer rejected his marriage proposal.