#the funny thing is they probs have them for very diff reasons

[taitavva]

scary dog privileges

[yutamayo]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Oh shit!! No I have never been asked this (you're like my fifth ask ever) so I am very grateful for a chance to share!

Alright, so favorites? It'll probs be for a million diff reasons; the characters will have shaped me/my perspective on things in life bc I'm never a fan of things I don't find meaningful. But I want to make sure this list is based on the actual character and not just scenes/the media itself resonating with me. I chose these characters BC of who they are, their choices, their feelings...

Kaneki Ken

Hideyoshi Nagachika

Biaggio (The Kings of Summer)

Effy Stonem (Skins UK)

Samwise Gamgee the Brave (LOTR)

Armin Arlert

Arya Stark (GoT)

Light Yagami

Edward Elric

Hodaka Morishima (Weathering With You)

I don't think I can put it in any specific order bc I love them all for so many different ways, but here's my lil explanations...

Kaneki: Tokyo Ghoul was one of my first anime/manga, and will always hold a spot in my heart for that reason. Kaneki I love specifically bc of his character development. I'll say it now and I will say it again: character development is one of the biggest things for me. I want to be able to look at a character on the first episode and then at the finale of the show and I want to see two completely different people. That's what we got with Kaneki, but also him as a person; I personally connect with his reserved life and his complications around being a good person vs living for yourself and whatnot. We also will never get tired of a psychological break + white hair I mean, c'mon. The anime did the manga dirty 100% so if you're reading this and thinking Kaneki is shit I really do reccomend the manga; it truly shows the depth of his kindness, his trauma and his strength. Love that for him.

Hide: Fucking ray of sunshine sunflower boy my love. Anyways, I will always appreciate a subtly hyper-aware character. His nonchalance and lightheartedness wasn't a show or anything, but it was intentionally to relax the mood of the people around him all the while taking specific note of the things happening/his surroundings. Plus his dedication to the person he loves; I enjoyed that it wasn't an obvious and intense depiction (although it sucked he got so little screentime) but I do think he's intentionally shown to be someone who doesn't need to make a show of their love or dedication. Hide was in it till the end, and he didn't ever stop to get acknowledgment for that. He didn't need to BC that's just who he was and I love him for that.

Biaggio: The Kings of Summer (2013) is a movie that I grew up rewatching, it's amazing and reccomend it 1000% but my fave character is literally the side character (not the protagonist or even the second main character he's genuinely just there.) He is magnificent. This is partly a comedy movie and Biaggio is one of my favorite versions of comedy, the kind where he is clueless and absolutely on the spectrum, so fucking wholesome deadass funny and badass (I don't want to give spoilers but mans went head to head with a rattlesnake for a friend) and he's even more important to me BC my best friend and I had a special saying from the movie that we used for like personal and meaningful reference. Even going to get the line tattooed on my thigh. "Biaggio's right here." Yes. I'm getting that tattooed. And ik I'm not supposed to hype the media just the character but this movie also has one of my favorite lines in the world that I also want to figure into a tattoo. "I have no idea where he's getting the chives." (Yes, they're talking about Biaggio).

Effy: Skins UK is also one of the shows of my youth. Effy Stonem... When I first watched it she was everything I wanted to be, which, if you know Skins is a real fucking problem. My love for her used to be kinda toxic but my mental health at the time when I zeroed in on her as a character wasn't great. That being said, she probably means more to me BC of that. Her personally; her aesthetic and the way she really did not give a shit about things, but also the way it was obvious she wanted people to know she didn't give a shit, the way she sometimes cracked and asked for help, I loved the way she looked like she was unbreakable even while looking like a fucking mess. Then she turned out to be mentally ill and I resonated even more but not in a good way. I thought ab her over the years on and off, she was also smthn that fueled my ED so when things were bad my headspace was around there. Then the final season she was still a mess, but she was an adult and she was getting her shit done and making the most of her days. I started taking inspiration from that Effy. Got some character development of my own :)

Sam: Lord of the rings is smthn I grew up on (am I gonna repeat this every time...) my fam would watch the 12hr extended edition every Christmas. My main man is Samwise the fucking Brave. This man dedicated his heart and soul to his best friend. He was a dimensional character it wasn't just plain devotion; he saw the potential in frodo when he didn't himself and Sam just reminds me of support systems in general. Also my relationship with my own best friend. I'll never forget the way he cried, the way his heart was in it for a friend. He was strong yet he thought so little of himself. He's someone I can reference when I think of the fact that there are a billion different ways to be strong. And an infinite amount of ways to show love. I'm grateful for that.

Armin: Armin was my fave AOT character from the jump and still is. I saw his potential the moment those babyblues crouched over that mf book and that dumbass bowl cut hovered over the pages. I love him. He's smart, will go all the way for his friends, even if it's detrimental to himself. He grew up, well, is still growing up, and he's pretty much been forced to become confident in himself BC he's aware there's too much on the line not to be. I enjoyed that Armin as a person had those powerful qualities from the start, I enjoyed even more having them knocked out of him and put to use like cracking open an acorn shell.

Also just fucking baby non-binary twink whore baby

Arya: Arya. ARYA. I binged all of Game of Thrones like last year, I was never into the show when it was airing it was just kinda a thing. I tried reading the first book and enjoyed it but decided I just wanted to watch. So, when I start this shit, even when reading I fuckin loved Arya. Tomboy badass who won't take no for an answer and won't say yes if she doesn't mean it. The fact that from the begginging she was my fave, this little girl with trauma and determination (we seeing a trend here?) I will always appreciate that they made her wholeheartedly devoted to her revenge. No half-measures, no room for what everyone thinks should come with revenge; dissatisfaction. She was oh so very satisfied. I love characters that aren't good or bad, just people that believe in their reasons enough to devote themselves to them. And then of all fucking things, the goddamn finale she is the one who saves the world?! My girl, who I knew from the moment she appeared would do great things... Saved everybody's ass. So her.

Light: Okay now death note was actually like the second anime I ever watched and in those days (a decade or so ago) it was even more team L or team Light that it is now, it had it's own fucking Edward/Jacob twilight energy. Anyways I dedicated myself to team Light BC I rationalized his side in the begginging. The best part ab rewatching a show is seeing things in new light. At first he was badass and smart, next watch I realized he was pissboy. Even so, I fucking love him. I love that he's crazy and evil and delusional and has a god complex the size of the fucking Library of Alexandria. I like bad people, I do. I wouldn't irl but I find fictional media is a beautiful way to appreciate the ideal of things rather than the implications of them. So yes, Light lowered the goddamn crime rate and he had a great thing going. I wanna be Misa so bad, they'd have ruled the fucking world, if it weren't for L and those meddling kids.

Edward: Ed, my love. So FMAB was my first ever ever ever anime and my eternal genuine favorite. Edward, aside from the immense familial dedication and love, just really made me smile. I liked seeing his abrasiveness holding hands with his kindness. He made me personally invested in him too?? Idk why there's one scene where he saves/does something but ends up with a metal pole through his side under some rubble and yeah they get him out and it's fine but they didn't really acknowledge it and idk I remember constantly wondering why they didn't acknowledge how far Ed just went or how far he fucking goes to help people. I also love the mecha limbs aesthetic. Can't say no to that cyborg energy.

Hodaka: Weathering With You (2019) is probs my fave anime movie if I really think about it. Hodaka, I truly love BC his actions showed the purity of wanting someone you love to be safe by your side. He took notice of things that were beautiful, like in the way he was in awe of a home cooked meal. He wasn't afraid to yell or cry or push himself to the limit, if it meant protecting the people he loved. I liked that he's a "kid" but the whole time shows his maturity BC all these heavy things were thrown his way. He's dumb sometimes, whiny and essentially unrealistic.

Unrealistic. That's what you say when you've lost the determination to hope. To know and to try anyways. He never lost those things, and we could all take a lesson from him on that one.

~

So there's my silly little (Jesus it's so long) list of the silly little loves of my life. I know I'm gonna end up remembering someone at some point and wishing I had put them here but that's just the dumb bitch juice I had with breakfast talking.

Hope you enjoyed!! Y'all feel free to drop your faves and reasons in the replies!! Inbox always always open, and thank you so fucking much for sending this my way!! ❤️❤️❤️

[gabbysthoughts4thots]

https://www.tumblr.com/ikram1909/781916414231658496/very-funny-to-me-that-we-had-casado-in-the-last-2?source=share

bruh the disrespect here? don't get me wrong casado was great this season but hello we must be talking about a diff frenkie? hes kinda in a league of his own rn (excluding pedri thats a diff level) like?

and olmo too? defo not the person whose bailed us out with last min goals?

this is kinda me going off on whoever tf that was but like the disrespect some "fans" have for certain ppl on the team is wild. like sure critizicing them is one thing but hating on them for no fucking reason is another like.

also um flick has prob been one of the best ingame managers we have had in a while like once he realizes something isn't working he changes it for example the first classico frenkie came on for fermin and we scored 4 goals like? theres more examples but im not listing 50.

i actually had to reread that like 10 times to figure out if what i was reading was what was written lwas like what i was reading but...

Confused cuz Frenkie has BEEN playing well?!? Not to mention the connection that he and Pedri have is years in the making.

I seriously don’t get the switch up on Frenkie. He had like the same issues Pedri did and yet ppl don’t switch up on him…?

[alexmercermolina]

Tagged by @meangirlsx – thank u babe love ya!!

coffee or tea: 

i don’t really drink either all that much but i do love a good tea when my mom makes it for me, and i LOVE iced coffee with all the sugar so it doesn’t taste like coffee lmao - soph

both pretty much any way except I can’t deal with caffeinated coffee cause i’m weak - ellie

early bird or night owl: 

night owl 100%, i hate waking up early - soph

early bird (but only when i’m happy lmaoo) - ellie

chocolate or vanilla: 

i can only stomach chocolate on certain occasions but when i can it’s the BEST - soph

chocolate!! - ellie

spring or fall: 

fall for sure it’s so cute with the leaves changing - soph

uhh spring because summer is my favourite season so at least I know it’s coming up but tbh i don’t love spring or fall i’m very much a summer and winter person - ellie

silver or gold: 

gold probably it’s so pretty - soph

umm both?? - ellie

pop or alternative: 

idk what alternative is anymore but i do love a good pop song - soph

either!!- ellie 

freckles or dimples: 

FRECKLES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH - soph 

SAME ABOUT THE FRECKLES - ellie

snakes or sharks: 

sneks - soph

i fucking love sharks like snakes are rad too but sharks are just SO COOL  - ellie

mountains or fields: 

i love gallivanting through a field and i have asthma so i feel like climbing a mountain would be bad news for me BUT theyre so pretty - soph

a field on a mountain - ellie

thunder or lightning: 

both at the same time (this just happened and it was so pretty) - soph

BOTH i love a storm - ellie

Egyptian mythology or Greek mythology: 

greek mythology for sure, i had a class on it in high school and it’s just so interesting - soph

Okay tbh I’ve never gotten super into either but Egyptian but I also studied like lots of diff mythologies in university and I gotta say my faves were Mesopotamian and Mesoamerican - ellie

ivory or scarlet: 

scarlet prob - soph

scarlet i guess - ellie

flute or lyre: 

i tried to play the flute once and it did not go well and the lyre is kinda like a guitar which i can play so that - soph

Yeah i agree i’m going with the lyre mainly cause i am so bad at the flute and could probably make something similar to music on a lyre - ellie

opal or diamond: 

opal is sooooo pretty - soph

opal cause diamonds are unnecessary and shouldn’t be expensive - ellie

butterflies or honeybees: 

both!!! im getting a butterfly tattoo once covid calms down more but i love bees so much - soph

i mean both i LOVE bugs but probably bees I really want to have a beehive one day - ellie

macaroons or eclairs: 

eclairs for sure, but i do love the coconut macaroons (not the french ones though) - soph

i don’t LOVE either but eclairs but i like making macarons cause they’re pretty - ellie

typewritten or handwritten: 

im a way faster typer but i think handwritten things are so cute - soph

handwritten cause i’m tired of being on my computer lol - ellie

secret garden or secret library: 

oooooh a garden to get lost in for sure - soph

GARDEN - ellie

rooftop or balcony: 

ok so like usually i’d say rooftop but during covid we were stuck sitting on our roof when we wanted to be outside and our next door neighbours had a balcony and they had so much more space to do things ya know? - soph

uh def a balcony for soph’s reasons - ellie

spicy or mild: 

spicy in moderation and also depending on the day! - soph

SPICY ALWAYS i don’t like food unless it’s a little painful - ellie

opera or ballet: 

ballet - soph

ballet for sure - ellie

London or Paris:

 i’ve been to london for like 18 hours and it was cute but i didn’t get to see all the sights, so i’d go back there! but also paris so i can improve my french - soph

okay so i actually lived in both cities somehow lmaoo and i think paris??? cause it has better and cheaper food mostly - ellie

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet: 

ooooh monet i think but also van gogh was a legend - soph

def van gogh - ellie

denim or leather: 

denim 1000000% the amount of mom jeans and dad shorts i own.....embarrassing - soph

denim denim denim - ellie

potions or spells: 

spells for sure theyre so much less effort - soph

potions cause i like cooking - ellie

ocean or desert: 

ocean!!!! - soph

omg uh both but i’m going with desert cause i miss being warm - ellie

mermaids or sirens: 

mermaids for sure - we just watched H2O just add water and now i wanna be a mermaid sooo bad - soph

for sure mermaids for soph’s reasons - ellie

masquerade ball or cocktail party: 

a masquerade ball would be so fun but like not like in shows where no one recognizes each other cause that’s unrealistic lmao - soph

anything where i get to wear something fancy cause i never get to wear fancy things - ellie

blue or red: 

red! - soph

red! - ellie

tomato or cucumber: 

i used to hate tomatoes but now i’m getting back into them so i think i’ll go with that (but cucumbers make pickles and i loooooove pickles) - soph

tomatoes are like 70% of my diet - ellie

sunrise or sunset: 

sunset, theyre so stunning - soph

sunrise!! - ellie

jellyfish or angelfish: 

jellyfish are so funny like they literally just sting you and then you have to pee on it???? hysterical - soph

i don’t even know what an angelfish is lmao - ellie

sheer or opaque: 

probably opaque unless it’s a going out top and then i love a good sheer - soph

sheer cause why not - ellie

forest or hallway: 

this is such a random comparison so i guess forest - soph

forest ofc - ellie

we tag @willieandalex @oozing-chemistry @phantomsalex @perfectharmony @incorrect-jatp-quotes @only-here-for-jatp @sunsetjulies and whoever else wants to!!!! xx

[marsixm]

edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)

anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist

so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have

in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it

basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se

looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.

theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect

first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago

the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress

2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS

so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 

another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc

for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn

i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???

another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]

the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl

anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid

also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!

anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts

[survivormontenegro]

Jury Rites of Passage

Before we wrap up this season, here’s what the final 4 had to say about our lovely jury.

Ali -  Alex, you were someone who from the cast reveal of this season I was honestly terrified of lowkey. You just give off such a smart, strategic energy that makes you someone who is very daunting to play against, particularly since we didn’t meet till merge and I had just heard stories about your influence from OG Durmitors. While I stand by the necessity of voting you out, in that you held a lot of sway over the tribe, and were seemingly tight with Jones and Mo, I genuinely was so sorry to see how upset you got in the aftermath of your vote. I felt like the move needed to be swift and clean to remove such a threat from the game, but I apologise, a move so brutal and so blindisde-y would’ve been rough to be apart of, and for that I’m really sorry.

Benj - You were one of the first people to make me feel welcome when we swapped together thank u for always being so open to things and ur passion for the game was undeniable.

Caeleb - I can’t tell if Alex is gonna hate me or respect me. Regardless, I had to vote him off because he was too strong of a player. Everyone was just waiting for his command and then running with it, and I didn’t want to play that game. Plus, I didn’t think that Alex was alwaysss being truthful with me and just pulling me along until he was done, so I kinda felt like we had a little showdown. It was either him or me, and while he’s a sweetheart and a really amazing guy, I kinda consider him my TS rival. Love ya. I’m glad we were able to crush butt with our Grandma’s Boys in the premerge.

Tom - oh boy big boy Alex you are a killa of a game player I must say going against you really spooked me because you had a solid group of people but I’m sorry it had to be done :(

Ali -  oh my god. When I saw that THE Jules was cast for this season, I can’t even describe how excited I was to play with you. Playing and working with you was everything I could’ve hoped for and more, you are smart, savvy and just a joy to talk to at all times, and we vibed on SO much this game. While I think your robbery was disgusting, I understand why others did it, your savvyness and strategic mind speak for themselves and you were of course a major threat. It’s been a pleasure to work with you and to be able to call you my friend.

Benj - LEGEND!!! When I saw you on the cast reveal I was actually shaking bc as u already know my friends who played almia with you said u were such a queen and so nice and they weren’t wrong!! It was a pleasure to get to play with you even though it was so short, and it was sad that we never really got to strategize and work together game wise but I enjoyed all of our talks sm!

Caeleb - Jules was always fun to talk to. She was super sweet and very good at figuring out where the majority was gonna be in the votes. I was really surprised that she cursed me because while I did tell her that I was gonna vote with her, I didn’t message her for a couple of hours before tribal so I didn’t think I was even being very believable. Overall tho Jules was sweet, fun, a bundle of astrology knowledge, and threw in a little bit of sass to make things lively and interesting.

Tom - wowee Jules you social butterfly icon. I’m sad you were eliminated and that I literally did not help at all by saving you I was in my inactive stage. I commend you on how bloody open you are about your sexuality and gender I guess you really are something special and this is not just because you’re on the jury I love how passionate you are about astrology and hopefully one day you can make something out of it

Ali -  I love you and stan you unapologetically. We had a bumpy ride this season, and my one regret from this season, was not telling you about the Alex vote. I’m sure you would’ve been down, and it burned a bridge for me with someone I genuinely trusted and had a lot of time for. While I think your blow-up was ill advised, given that me/Tom/Jason were angling to save you, I can’t fault you for distrusting me after the Alex vote. I felt awful voting you out but once you set my game on fire, with the choice being you vs Tom, I had to side with who had my back and I felt would be a consistent ally moving forwards, so kept Tom and voted for you. You were also apart of some of my highlights from this season, like calling to work through JJ’s… JJness or drinking white wine on the tribe call. I know you’ve now hexed me three times, but I’ll take being hexed a fourth time, if it means we can be friends after this.

Benj - I have never met anyone quite like you before in an org and even though we didn’t talk much your presence in the game was so fun from calls to call outs. Icon! My FB org friends stan u

Caeleb - Easily, the person I talked to the least in the merge, Ian included. For some reason, Julia didn’t want to talk game with me ever, even though we would vote the same. Every conversation we had would kinda trail off with her failing to respond. I know she was active in calls, and since I wasn’t I think that made her write me off. I kinda wish things were different and we could’ve had a different demeanor throughout the season. Who knows maybe we could’ve made something actually happen.

Tom - lol

Ali -  MY SON. The Nemo to my Marlin. While we like… never voted together from jury onwards, I am genuinely proud of you this season. We didn’t particularly vibe as players, and I don’t think I ever got the chance to see your strategic mind in action, but you played a great game this season, and I’m super proud of you. You kick-started some of the key debates of the season, like this stupid mountain llama mess, but you also kept the mood light and had a consistent positive impact on the season as a whole.

Benj - (El)MO! You were really nice in the game and we got along well on swapped tribe but didn’t have the best connection at merge so sadly ended up on the opposites sides a lot but I think u played a good game! I loved how happy u were to be here

Caeleb - A hero. I have such a tumultuous relationship now with Grandma’s Boys because I had to vote off Alex first, switch and vote Mo in the revote, and then fail to save Jones in F6. I think they might think I am a little bit scheming and never really was working with them, but honestly, I voted with Mo and Jones post Alex because they both were easily the most fun to talk to in the tribe. Mo was hilarious, a true king, and loyal to a fault. When Benj told me that he was voting Mo, I had a sinking feeling that Mo was gonna leave that day, but I held on hope that Ali would still vote Tom. I’m sorry that didn’t happen Mo.

Tom - this is a shame this one we got along quite well on durmitor then the tribe swap really uhm separated us literally. Two seperate bridges that just never came together unfortunately. Good luck and stay safe on that grindr game u play

Ali -  Okay… of all people this season, we have had the most rollercoaster ride I think possible. Whether you know it or not, from me almost voting you out prejury, to voting you publicly at F10, to us somehow working together moving forwards. While I knew you needed to go around the time you were idoled out, I was genuinely so sad to see you go home, because I think you played one of, if not the strongest game this season. You took my vote for you in your stride, and being on calls with you and our weird fake rivalry was so much fun. We were on the first cast reveal together, and I hope we can be friends after this season is all done.

Benj - omg MITCHHHH I wish you had stuck with my plan otherwise you prob would have stayed LOL. King you were one of my favs from the first tribe and we stuck it out thru the swap and kept working together for basically every vote until you left! It was so fun to play w you. Ps… I was the 2nd vote for you when Jared left LMAO… I ofc never wanted u gone but me and Ali didn’t want Jared blowing up the fact we were allies so had one of us randomly vote with him.

Caeleb - The strongest player in this season imo. Like everyone talks about Ali being the favored to win rn because of his immunity run and his social butterfly nature. Mitch was stronger strategically by far. His moves were calculated and always put him in a better spot than he was in before, while also never putting a target on his back. I had my eye on voting him for awhile, and when Jones wanted to idol him out it was like some ESP type shit. He was so strong, and also funny, this season would not have been what it was without him.

Tom - mmmmm big ol mitchy boi is it toiLET or toilet that’s the true question, an amazing ally friend and strategist who was skeptical of everything but had good intentions thank you for saving my ass in this game multiple times because I wouldn’t be here without you

Ali -  when people google robbery, if your picture is not the top result, i will SCREAM. It says a lot that we literally never voted together during merge, and yet I stanned for you with my whole heart, and would’ve voted for you in the end. You have this raw likability, that makes you the best ever, but also SUCH a threat in these games, and after your iconic idol play, it was incredibly clear that you were the biggest threat and so critically needed to be voted out. You are such a joy, and I hope we can be friends after the season.

Benj - JONES!!!!!!!!!! Omg I was gagged when I saw that you were playing this season I had heard a lot about you but never met you until now and I was sooooo excited when we got swapped together!! Joining your side back then was such a good decision and ty for making it so easy to accept me and I loved talking to u throughout the whole game even if we were basically on diff sides most of merge! You would have wiped the floor against anyone at the end and I know one day u will get ur win! ILY

Caeleb - My true Grandmother. Honestly, I hope that post-game we can rekindle and be harmonious because I TRULY thought that Jones was one of the friendliest, kind, and joyous people. I worked to get people to switch their votes from Jones in F6, but I kinda expected that it wouldn’t happen because even I recognized that no one could beat Jones in a FTC. I felt like Sierra voting off her mother in BvW. It was truly my saddest day in Montenegro BY FAR.

Tom - I’m sorry Tunnel vision really got you good, You played such an amazing game and honestly to get to final 6 the way you did you should be so proud, you were by far the biggest jury threat because everyone absolutely loved your personality including myself. I really hope we can keep talking on the outside and your artistry takes you amazing places

Ali -  I spent 40 days on a tribe with you, and I want to say it was a pleasure throughout. From talking about Big Little Lies to bonding over our warped sleeping patterns, we genuinely really vibed as people. One thing I loved about our relationship, was our ability to be rational and logical, even when we voted against each other, after the Jules and Ian votes particularly. I genuinely had so much respect for you as a player and your attitude after the Ian vote, and it was something I attempted to mirror after the Jules vote. You had to go at F5, because you played a phenomenal game, surviving being one vote from going home at merge, and it was for that reason I had to vote you out, but it’s been a pleasure, all fourty days of it.

Benj - We had the most up and down relation probably of anyone LOL from me voting you 4 times to us working together for the rest, it really was a ride and even tho we weren’t the most connected im so glad u had such a great season to return to after so long !

Caeleb - Omg go get ur Donna Summer record. Jason was probably the person I talked to a bunch but barely talked game with. We were always on differing sides of the vote, and kinda to my own demise for many of those, but as a result we talked about different things like eggs and records and gay stereotypes. It was a bold and profitable move when we talked post-Ian vote and set us both up for success for the rest of merge. Let's talk soon :)

Tom - Ahhhhhhh my closest ally in this game, i am so proud of the way we survived this game. I was really skeptical about working with you on budva but i am so glad i stuck to my gut of working with you and ian. Round 1 of merge we got absolutely blindsided and destroyed and every since then we had to fight so damn hard every single round to survive together. We were arguably the tightest duo in the game, we voted together every single round , 23 votes combined 8 tribal councils we were targeted at yet we made final 5 together. Through the dark times we stayed loyal to each other and got ourselves in such an amazing position in this game by getting with mitch and ali whilst also working caeleb. We truly went from the bottom to the fucking top and as much as i dont think i can pull this one out for us, i will give it my best shot. It was an amazing experience with you through all of our paranoia and stress that people were going to split us apart. Lets hope lightning strikes twice and i can pull out this win for you and ian because you both deserve to be right next to me <3 <3 Luv you mountain llama <3 <3

[hellotvv]

5 Days

Damn, been hanging out with her 5 days straight.

Friday - woke up early at like 9 am to head over to her place, then we got ready to head to SF. Got to SF around 2 PM, tried boba guys for first time. I thought it was whatever lol. Idk the boba is chewy and good, but I think places like 7 Leaves/Almond Haus/other SoCal boba places are prob better. Afterwards, we watched The Flash together at her place and I got to put my arm around her during it haha. She played the piano for fun, since she hasn’t played in a while. Then, I think we got dinner at some place called Night Market, which is like chinese streetfood. They had a projector that shows kinda like streetfood stands and the streets idk. The food was pretty good actually~ Got a pork bun, skewers, and some chicken :) Then at night, we went to Armnhmr together. She brought along a friend named Jose, and he was pretty chill. We drank and pregamed in the car (she drove), and then went inside around 10ish. We danced for a bit, then went to the bar to order some drinks which were stupidly expensive... Like I’ve been to night clubs before with bars, but damn this one was insanely expensive. Michelle met some of her friends at the event too, while we were getting drinks. Then we went back inside and Lione was playing. He was pretty good actually! Was grinding on Michelle during the dance haha. There’s some other tiny details that went on during the event, but it’s whatever like weird white dude that got us free water. After the event, when we got back to Michelle’s car her back window broke :( it got broken into by some random person. At first, we didn’t think anything was stolen. It was kinda surprising tho, since I had my external battery there, her friend has some expensive vape, and etc. But nothing was taken?? We called the police and tried to file a report, but apparently they can’t do anything unless we have a suspect lol... In a bit, it turns out Jose’s backpack got stolen, but thankfully there wasn’t any money or anything in it. We called the police again, telling them something was stolen, and they said they might send someone. After waiting over an hour and a half in the cold, they never came. So Jose was like forget about it, let’s just go. So we ended up leaving and going back to Michelle’s place. I felt sooo fking bad for both Jose and Michelle... Like damn :( idk I hate it when bad things happen to ppl that I know. Afterwards, I uhh did not think it would be a good idea to ask if I could sleep in her bed with her LOL... 

Saturday - was a much better day! It was fun. Uhh woke up, etc etc. Michelle got her uncle to pick up her car. I think we went to the bank, so she could get money for the window to get fixed. Then we met up with her friend Chelsea? If I remember her name correctly. She was really nice. We shot for fun at some place with pretty stairs and a nice view. I didn’t get very good shots tho imo, since it was too sunny when I wanted it to not be sunny, but too dark (blue hour) by the time we got down :( oh well... Stopped by target afterwards so Michelle could buy like snacks to bring back to SB, got boba, and then dropped Chelsea off. Then we got dinner at some hot pot place I think called Tasty pot or idr completely. They have a location in San Diego, I know that. Not sure if in LA or SoCal tho. She said it’s better than boiling point, but I think I like boiling point a bit more haha. Afterwards, we kinda chilled at her place. We watched American Horror stories, I kinda put my arm around her and etc during it. I think we watched during the day actually and she played the guitar a bit, while we sang some old throwback songs. Uhh, but yeah, I remember looking through each other tumblrs a bit for fun to see what we reblogged at the start of tumblr days. Thankfully, she didn’t look too much at my tumblr, otherwise she’d see sad boi or too lovey dovey posts at certain points in time lolol. Idk, not trying to seem  soft here. But yeah, at night just went to sleep, she was up late tho cleaning and packing stuff.

Sunday - hmhm, we went to get breakfast at some yummy breakfast place. It’s like a crepe place, but they have other stuff and savory crepes. The area was really nice actually and had a bunch of good food places that I’d love to try :O We also took pictures around for fun. Then it was time to head back to her place, she packed up, and then we picked up 2 ride share ppl to go back to SB. One was cool, she apparently knew my friend Jessica! She also listens to a shit ton of hip hop and likes Logic like me. So I had a nice convo with her. Then afterwards, it got kinda silent, and I just talked to Michelle. Went on some uhh certain topics like making out and etc. We picked up Chloe somewhat towards the end of the ride, since we were passing by SLO and she was there! Did some Escape planning as well. Not too sure as of rn, if we’re 100% going together. But if we do the plan would be to go to escape together, she can stay at my place, pumpkin patch + oc adventure together, and I’d show her a bunch of cool food places that she’s never tried. After dropping me off, she sent me a text wondering if I had fun at SF and sorry that she couldn’t show me around more, since she was too stressed from her window being smashed. Then she asked to watch The Flash together on like Friday or something, but I’m unfortunately busy Friday :(( going home for weekend.

Monday - somewhat fun day. Bryan bailed on our dinner plans. So I invited Michelle to the dinner plans with Brent, Henry, Kristy, Jessica, and me at Lama Dog. It was fun, she met my friends Brent and Henry for the first time. She thinks they’re funny. I like to hype up my friends to each other before they meet, so I told Brent about Michelle before he met her, so he think she’s cool. Then they kinda got along when they did talk haha. We all got drinks at Lama Dog, except Michelle since she had to study later. But I shared with her some of my drink, which was kinda ehhh. Food was good tho~ Pork belly quesadilla was bomb!! Afterwards, we planned to play drinking games at my place, but had to drop off Michelle. After we got to my place, I snapped the drinks and etc, she’s liike tfti. I’m like lmao we invited u, come through. Then she ended up driving to my apartment and actually coming through + playing the drinking game while kinda studying haha. It was fun, the uh drinking card game let us know more about each other, she got to know more about my friends from it, and yee. There were a couple cards that kinda got some flirting going on. I put my arm around her and she was chill with it. She gave me the most likely to have sex in public card lol... I couldn’t deny that I have done so, and she was a curious girl on wheree and etc haha. Also I changed my name on her contacts to add a heart, and she changed her contacts to add emojis too to make it fair. I offered to drive her the next day, since she brought a diff car to SB and it doesn’t have her parking permit. So I ended up waking up early in the morning just for her, to pick her up, and drop her off at school/walk her to class. I mean, I had class at the same time, but I had to wake up extra early to quickly shower to not look super bad + change + pick her up and etc haha. But yeah, that was Tuesday morning. Afterwards, I don’t think anything else happened.

Wednesday - she canceled on our plans on Thursday rip, prob from frat stuff. Unfortunately, won’t be able to hang out with her for the rest of the week, since I’m going home. I wonder if she’ll miss me ;o Regardless, I’m gonna have a great time going home. Gonna go to an EP launch event in LA on Friday with Jenn, gonna drink with her too! Then gonna go to a photography event on Saturday that’ll have my ex-Kristy, Jenn + Cat, this photographer friend from SD, and maybe I’ll make new friends too at the meetup! I don’t think I’ll get very good pics from the meetup tho, since the location is too green lol... I hate green in photos. Then after the meetup, my cousin Khoa is turning 21. So I’ll be at his birthday party and hopefully it’ll be littyyy. :] Then on Sunday, maybe I’ll be able to hang out with my friend Erika. But fk, I have to get back to SB at a reasonable time, since I have a midterm for my math class on Monday lol... Anyways, those are my current weekend plans