#the funny thing about this is that I’ve never even played neopets

[ask-imaginary-dreamers]

more character au misc art <3

everyone as neopets!

daisy - jubjub

aster/flicker - cybunny

begonia - ixi

casey - kacheek

zeus - korbat

fade - gelert

gwyn - usul

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 730

Thanks to the generosity of @were-ah, I’ve been given the chance to relive some childhood nostalgia. For those who aren’t into virtual pet websites, or haven’t been to one since the days of Neopets, a new pet site is being built called  Santae, and Were-Ah got two beta keys at their Kickstarter.

So all of yesterday was spent exploring the website, commenting on its design with each other over voice chat and in my case creating a lot of pets.

I grew up on Neopets, and while I was not around since its conception, I had joined that site early enough where I had been around for the release of all the lands after the space station storyline. And that website influenced a lot of my middle and high school years. In fact, a lot of the knowledge I have about Internet safety against phishing scams was taught to me by Neopets. 

In large part because Neopets had a very large scamming problem, larger than it should have been for a game website.

When I got into university, I had fallen out of love with Neopets. In large part because I didn’t have the time anymore to play all the flash games to earn points. However, I had, for a small while, started a Subeta account, another well known pet site. Primarily because not only did it have more interesting pets than Neopets (at the time), but you also had a personal avatar to dress up as well. It was fun all around and the people were quite nice.

I didn’t stay with that site particularly long, but that was probably more due to there not being much keeping me there. The only other pet site I joined and really, really enjoyed was unfortunately a small website whose name I can’t remember or the name of their pets. Even though in terms of community and the way their seasonal events were designed, I considered it the best of the three pet sites I’ve ever been on for engagement.

Then, a few months ago, Were-Ah showed me Santae and I was immediately fascinated by the site. It was clear by some of the features the website was promising (such as several pets being able to have the same name, but only one has the first edition badge) that these were people familiar with Neopets. The style and design, though, spoke of artists who may have initially gained their experience by working with Subeta or similar pet sites.

And yet this was also very clearly a love project all of their own.

When I first saw the designs for Santae’s pets, I couldn’t help but think how much more intricate they looked compared to the pet designs I grew up with. They were even more intricate than the Subeta pet designs (if you don’t include the weird experiment pets they would design later in the website’s lifespan). Which is funny, because I think I thought the same thing about Subeta’s pet designs compared to Neopets.

Though, I will fully admit, at least three of the pet designs from Santae are very much my jam, and I don’t think I ever felt that way with Neopets or Subeta. Never had I had pet designs that stood out to me so much that I said… I want that… several of them.

[berryvalentine-archive]

Because I’ve been playing Neopets a lot recently I just thought of some silly headcanons I wanted to do for which neopet jjba characters would have :’) I’ll do these in batches (maybe?) I’ll start with the jojo’s. 

Jonathan He would have his pet be a Gelert which is a loyal and brave canine-like Neopet. He honestly would pick it because it reminds him so much of Danny, even naming his neopet after his old friend. He’d go with the green color for it (which is like the gelert pictured below). He would make sure to go his dailies on neopets and always make sure his pets are well fed :( You can have up to three neopets, but Jonathan feels like he should only have one to give Danny all the attention. 

Joseph He would pick a JubJub, which is a a round fluffy Neopet with two dexterous feet and no arms. Joseph would select this neopet because he thinks it looks so funny. The color he’d pick for it would be the yellow color scheme, he would name his neopet after Caesar ( probably using Cesarino). His neopet habits are pretty bad, he forgets his password quite often ( and usually just ends up remaking accounts). Joseph doesn’t realize though that every time he creates a neopet you can’t use the same name as a previous one so his (many) JubJub’s are named ‘Cesarino’ with several numbers behind them. 

Jotaro It actually didn’t Jotaro a long time to decide he quickly went with Flotsam an aquatic, dolphin-like Neopet. He’d go for the blue color and when naming the pet he was in such a hurry to create it he thought the site was asking for his name and so he ended up naming the neopet ‘JotaroKujo’. He takes good care of his neopet making sure to log in every day to give his pet attention and feed them. He ultimately makes two more neopets ( which are also both flotsam’s as well). He’ll never admit this, but he actually finds logging in just for 10 minutes or so a day to be quite relaxing for him. 

Josuke Ok Josuke will tell you he “accidentally” picked this pet but really he knew exactly which one he chose. He would pick an Usul which is a squirrel-like neopet. He’d go with a green color, and would name his pet Tsuyoi with the meaning of strong, powerful, tough, mighty, forceful. Oh, he’s also delighted to see that there are many in-game plushes of this neopet and tries to collect all the variations because he finds them to be adorable ( but remember he picked this neopet PURELY on accident!! :P ). He makes sure to take good care of his pet, he likes to Tsuyoi off to his friends too ( of course also convincing Koichi and Okuyasu to join neopets as well). 

Giorno Giorno took his time picking a neopet, and finally went with an Eyrie which is playful griffin that enjoys battling. He actually named his neopets after his stand (Gold Experience) and goes with the yellow color. He chose this neopet because it’s so powerful looking and because this is the type of protector Giorno would’ve loved to have had when he was a child. He makes sure to log in every day to at least feed his neopet and maybe play a few games too. He loses interest in the site’s other features rather quickly, but he still feels like he needs to continue to take care of his neopet at least! 

Jolyne

Jolyne has had a neopets account since she was a kid but she forgot all about it! The neopet she picked is a Uni which is essentially a unicorn-looking neopet. She named the pet Butterflies_Rock123 which she finds so silly now but at the same time she doesn’t want to make a new account either. Her Uni is green, and honestly is probably famished when she does log back into her account again after several years ( so sorry, Butterflies_Rock123). She spends most of her time on neopets trying to start arguments on the Neoboards... It’s something to do when she’s bored honestly. 

Johnny Johnny would pick a Peophin which is an aquatic horse looking neopet as his pet with the blue color. He would name his peophin after his horse, Slow Dancer. At first Johnny thought the site was kinda cheesy, but soon enough he found himself wanting to check up on his neopet at least once a day. It took Johnny awhile to realize that there were things to do like games and other daily tasks ( which he soon got into the habit of doing). He finds the site to be a good way to pass the time. 

Gappy 

Gappy would pick a Kiko which is best described as a round, floating neopet with no arms or legs. He would go with the blue color of this neopet, he’s not entirely sure why he picked it there was just something about the way the neopet looked that he really liked! He decided to name Kiko I_like_large_fries because it was a tune he couldn’t get out of his head while making his account! He actually spends a decent amount of time on neopets, usually sending neomail messages to Yasuho. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #416

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one to blame  /  don’t think of me when you go up in flames”

Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? Not close enough for us to actually go there for groceries, no. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? Well no, given Mark's been in a serious relationship for like six years, and I'd feel disloyal to my partner. I can just dream about it, ha ha. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? I tend to be drawn to people I'm more similar to. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? *shrug* If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? Tbh, odds are I'm making up an excuse. Would you like to meet an alien? That would depend on its motives. It might have wisdom to share, or it may be nefarious, in which case I don't wanna meet it obviously. If so, would you trust them enough to go back with them to their planet? That's a no no matter how it acts. Trust issues, my friend. And that's with humans. What do you think is at the end of space. It's kinda science that space is infinite... Do you like D&D or Magic: The Gathering the most? I've never played D&D because I know I would be way, way too awkward to actually do it. M:TG is fun, though. What is your favorite Disney movie? TLKKKKK. What’s your favorite book series? Wings of Fire tops the list right now, but Warriors will always have a very special place in my heart. What’s something you wish they’d build in your neighborhood? Idk. Do you usually keep ponytail holders around your wrist? No. I don't even wear my hair in a ponytail because it's too short. Sunny D or orange juice? Orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for Sunny D. Can you snap out of a bad mood fast? Nooooo, unless something drastically good happens. How can a person tell if you’re mad or annoyed? My face will probably give it away, mixed with me being short and snippy or more awkward than normal because I'm trying to not be a bother. What’s something you enjoy that’s outside your age level? Certain TV shows. When your friends come and hang out at your house, what do you get up to? The only friend I have that I hang out with once in a blue moon is Girt, and we'd usually play board games or watch TV. Do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child? Yes. Like yes, I'm pro-choice so won't look down on someone getting an abortion, but I still think you should be willing to act to prevent things from getting to that point where that procedure is chosen. For it or against it, abortion is a serious decision and should be treated as such. What were your favourite things to do as a child? My favorite thing had to be video games, specifically Spyro, and I also adored Webkinz and Neopets on the computer. I also loved playing make-believe with my toys like every other kid. I loved watching Dad play video games, too. I've also been a drawing fiend since I was very little. If you were shopping with your best friend, and they picked an outfit that was completely unflattering, would you tell them? I honestly don't know if I would. Her being comfortable and happy in it is what matters, anyway. Do you prefer using air-con or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day? Team A/C for sure. I hate the feeling of wind just slapping the hell outta your face and making a nest out of your hair. Can you ever manage to finish three courses when you go out to eat at restaurants? No. What would you say your favourite farm animal is? Pigs! They are so incredibly misunderstood. They're very intelligent, CLEAN (I know, can you believe it?), silly, and happy animals that I just adore. Is your ex currently in a relationship and if yes, how do you feel about that? Idk if "the" ex is with anyone, and it's for the better I don't, probably. Which one of your friends should be a stand-up comedian? Girt. Is your mom a better driver or your dad? Oh yeah. Dad tailgates like a motherfucker. What's your least favorite genre of music? Either rap or country, idk. Do you like poems? I do. Do you enjoy drawing? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I LOVE when something comes out the way I wanted it to, but if it doesn't, I feel very disappointed in myself and bash it into my head that I could do better. Do you even have any drawing talent? So I'm told. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music? Yes, in elementary school's music class. Ever seen Beetlejuice? If so, did you enjoy it? Oh yes, that was one of Jason's favorites. I liked it. How do you deal with oppressive heat? Complain, sweat my ass off, do anything I can to cool off that doesn't involve taking clothes off. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember pretty much anything whatsoever. What about something they definitely can count on you for? An ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. How do you feel about your handwriting? I like it. Is there a store that bothers you immensely for some reason (people who shop there irritate you or the employees who work there are rude, etc.)? Uhhhh I don't think so. What’s something you complain about frequently? If I'm hot, or my legs hurting. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? Ignore it. I'm not answering. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It's an anti-war pacifism novel, which is something I'm very much passionate about. Would you ever get one of those old school “mom” tattoos with the heart? No. I know with certainty I want a tribute to my mom when she passes, but definitely not that design. Are you a Giants fan? I don't care for sports, but the NYG always make me think of Jason's dad, who is like, obsessed with them. So I guess I feel a bit of warmness towards them just for memory's sake. Last time you went pumpkin picking? Never. Do you prefer eating corn straight off the cob or corn already taken off the cob? I think corn on the cob tastes better with all the butter and spices you can put on it, but I do enjoy off the cob too because it's just so much cleaner. Would you want your family to go on Wife Swap? Well, I live with my mom and she's divorced, so... I don't have to worry about this. How old is your current e-mail address? God, I've had it since I was a kid. Last time you conversed with someone in a language other than English? Not since taking a test for German in high school. Last video you favorited on YouTube? Oh my god, it was this video from my favorite reptile channel (Snake Discovery) of them taking their pet tegu to the park. She clearly had SO much fun. Now mind you I very rarely favorite things, so yeah, I adored the video. Do you like chocolate with coconut filling? Noooo, I'm not a coconut fan at all. What was the first thing you ate today? Mom made bacon, yuuuuum. Do you know how to play Mahjong? No. Mom loves it, though. Do you have any skirts longer than knee-length? I don't own any skirts. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone you weren’t dating? Just flirting. Ever had a promise ring? No. What about one of those “I’ll wait until marriage” rings (I think they’re called purity rings or something)? They're called abstinence rings, and yes, in HS. Funny how looking back I was definitely breaking that vow while I wore it lmao. What is the shortest time you’ve heard of people being together before getting married? My late grandma and her second husband got married SO fast. Like they were together for probably a couple months (maybe less?), then boom, the news came that they were engaged. Are any of your friends currently pregnant? Facebook friends, yes, which are mostly composed of old friends and acquaintances from school. One poor girl very recently got into a bad wreck, but thank goodness she and her unborn daughter are okay. Have you ever played golf? I loved playing putt-putt when I was younger, and then Jason and I once had a mini-golf date. It was really cute. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? It's been some years since I used to wax my eyebrows. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. A minor one, but still. Can you honestly say you love the last person you kissed? Yep. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yeah. Would you ever go on Fear Factor? Noooo. I would NEVER get past day #2 where they tend to do the disgusting shit, and I'm way too out of shape to do the wild stuff they do. What colour was the last mask you wore? Blue. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Oh yes, Sara has an absolutely beautiful voice. When was the last time you had a nightmare? I had two last night, actually. I have this habit of taking my APAP mask off in the middle of the night because it's a nuisance, and I never remember doing so. When I do that, I'm much more prone to have nightmares because the mask helps my sleep apnea, which causes my nightmares/terrors. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I do NOT want to imagine this. It's either going to be beautiful or a fucking catastrophe, of that I'm sure. Does your family have traditions? Just pretty ordinary holiday ones. Have you ever met anyone half-way famous? Tez is famous, as far as I'm concerned. :') I also have some musician friends trying to make it, but idk how far they've actually gotten in the industry. Is there a celebrity that you are related to? No, just ancestors. Would you call your last relationship a mistake? Definitely not. Would you ever take up a job in photography? Ugh... that's the fucking dream. But I'm massively losing hope. Do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back? When I was in school, it depended on whether it would serve as good study material or not. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? My old friend Jenna messaged me a few days back just to say she was thinking about me and wished me well, which I really appreciated. Of course I messaged her back wishing her the same and all. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? Don't believe so, no. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I used to. She vanished. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Don't want to. I want to be alone when I shower.

[purplesurveys]

1172

survey by pandaphant

Who's your favorite comedian? Sindhu Vee, probably. But that’s only counting the fact that I’ve only seen two of her skits. Out of all the acts I’ve seen, she’s the one who’s made me laugh the loudest so far, though.

Aren't you sick of all the *Are We Alike?* surveys? I’m not sick of them. I just think they’re too easy and fast to take so I like elaborating my answers so that I can still get a little ~reflective~ while taking that kind of survey.

Do you think there's anything you did better, when you were younger? Physical activities. I had a better stamina for jump roping and running when I was younger, and I was also a lot more flexible; I used to be able to bend all the way backwards and also have my toes reach my head while on my stomach.

Would you take the advice you give others? I usually don’t. I find that I’m better at giving advice than actually following through with them.

What did you have for lunch yesterday? I just had my leftover sushi. I didn’t want to eat all 24 that I ordered from the other night in one go, so I saved a little more than half of it for yesterday.

What's one thing that you would change about yourself physically? I’d go for the obvious and have my front teeth straightened, so I can finally stop feeling conscious about it.

What song has made you cry? Life Goes On by BTS.

How would you define success? Accomplishment of something for which I could be proud of myself.

Who was the craziest teacher you've ever had? Ironically, it was my Christianity teacher in grade school. Crazy old man who flipped out and humiliated students who didn’t bring their own box of crayons to school, and he also made me feel sexually violated when I encountered him shortly after my high school graduation. 

Do you think the Earth will face an apocalypse one day? I don’t think so.

What's the last thing you got paid to do? Work.

What's the one thing you could eat everyday? Sushi.

What do you hate about yourself? How frugal I can be, especially towards myself. Buy yourself nice things sometimes, @robyn hahahaha

What's your favorite alcoholic drink? Long Island Iced Tea. Or tequila.

Are you hyper today? No, but I was yesterday for Bang Bang Con haha. It was my first BTS event as a new fan and I had so much fun :(

Does Bzoink need an upgrade? I don’t mind what it looks like now. I don’t think they ever changed it ever since I first started visiting the site in 2009 anyway, and I’ve already gotten used to the layout. It’s easy enough to navigate.

Do you have a Millsberry account? No. I’m not sure I even know what that is.

Do you have a Neopets account? I didn’t, but I had an offline Neopets game on one of my old phones that I liked to play as a kid.

What's your life philosophy? I don’t really follow a specific one and let it serve as a guide all my actions. I just do whatever I think is right and what would help both me and the people around me.

What was the last thing you talked to your friends about? Angela and I were just talking about BTS lol. She was the one who reeled me in :((

If you are interested in going out with someone, what do you do? I simply like staying physically close to them and doing nice things for them. I’m not very expressive when it comes to this; I just let my actions speak for themselves.

Do you ever go to the beach? Yeah, of course. I love the beach. I’ve been aching for a trip for well over a year.

Would you rather have a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? Coffee.

How's your hair looking right now? I washed it last night, so it looks okay.

What's something your mother always says? Well these days, she always reminds us to spray alcohol and disinfectant spray every time a delivery for someone in the family arrives. Which is an understandable thing to nag us about.

What's something your dad always says? He doesn’t really have a catchphrase, though these days he does like sharing about the funny or educational videos he’s been seeing on TikTok.

What's your favorite thing to wear? Tank tops or airy oversized shirts.

Have you ever had a near-death experience? Nope.

What do you order at Starbucks? Grande iced caramel macchiato + whatever pastry they have that I happen to be in the mood for.

What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Taking a walk with my dogs.

What's the worst injury you've ever had, and what was it from? The infection/wound I got from when I went snorkeling without flippers and ended up grazing my left foot against coral reefs one too many times.

Do you still have any of your childhood toys? If so, what? Nope, my mom threw them all out as I grew up and when we moved in to our current house.

Did you have a Precious Moments colouring book? No, I’m also not sure what that is.

Don't you miss being 13? No, puberty wasn’t exactly a fun time as there was a lot of emotional turmoil happening.

How'd you react to receiving your very first pimple? I didn’t keep a journal entry or anything from that day but I would imagine I was surprised and horrified.

Are you spoiled? Only when it’s deserved. My parents have stopped buying things for me since I now earn for myself, but back when I was younger I will say I was the most pampered out of us siblings. That said, I still made sure I worked hard for whatever it is I was asking from them, like promising them straight As for a quarter or semester in class.

What's your favorite day of the week? Friday.

What room of your house do you spend the most time in? My own. I’m back to working there again since I’ve started to find the dining room noisy.

Do you believe in the death penalty? Only for extreme offenses.

Do you have MSN, Yahoo, or Skype? I don’t have accounts on any of these.

What is your biggest turn-on? Continued from...sometime last weekend? I think? Thighs or fingers.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? I’d rather be in a not-stuck-in-a-pandemic world altogether, to be honest.

Do you ever have any problems just *moving on*? At first, because I hate change and try to resist it as much as I can. Assessing myself in the last few months though, it looks like I’m much better at moving on with my life as I thought.

Do you collect anything? I collect BTS merch now...my collection is gradually getting bigger hahaha. I currently have all 7 of their Cold Brew Lattes, then I recently placed an order for their most recent album. Once I finish all the coffee I’ll move on to the Hot Brew ones, then I plan to buy 1-2 albums per month until I complete my collection, then move on to the DVDs, magazines, and other novelty merch. ZERO REGRETS

If you saw a shooting star, what would you wish on it? Sustained happiness.

Do you like rollercoasters? I’ve never ridden one and I don’t plan to.

What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone else? Get them a customized locket/necklace. Either that or make a video compiling greetings and photos with friends when I had no clue how to edit videos and had to learn from scratch.

How do you celebrate Halloween? I don’t strictly observe it, but when I do it’s usually because someone else organizes a party for it. Last year my company had a Halloween party, then the year before that Rita’s sister invited us to their college party, etc.

Who is your favorite villain? Gus Fring from Breaking Bad.

Do you have a favorite coloring book artist? I have a couple of Steve McDonald coloring books; I like his works because they’re gigantic and yet super detailed. Keeps me occupied (if I ever do color) :)

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Idk, I think around 10 would be a safe guess.

Have you ever wanted to model? I did, back in middle school. That was when VSFS was still a thing and I had wanted to be like those girls lol.

When you want to unwind, how do you relax? Light up a scented candle, take surveys, and, lately, watch whatever BTS content I feel like consuming hehe.

How do you react when someone you know's having a freak out? Try to calm them down as best as I can and make sure they aren’t hurting themselves.

Have you ever seen someone have a seizure? No.

Do you have a phobia? Cockroaches and any sharp points.

Who is your hero? I don’t have one.

If you were to commit a crime, what would it be? No thanks.

Have you ever used drugs? Nothing beyond caffeine, nicotine, pills I take for headaches.

How would you define what you want out of life? Self-satisfaction, I guess.

What's your favorite car? A Mini Countryman.

[eldritchsurveys]

829.

Have you seen Casablancas? >> I’ve never seen it, no. What’s your favorite older film? >> The oldest of my favourite films are It’s a Wonderful Life, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Mr Smith Goes to Washington, and Rebel Without a Cause. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone 10+ years older? >> Yes. Do you listen to Howard Stern? >> I’ve never listened to him, no. What kind of vehicle do you drive? >> I don’t.

Do you think it’s weird to cut pizza with scissors? >> I would absolutely be thrown off if I saw someone do that. Aliens or unicorns? >> I’m more interested in aliens than in unicorns. Would you ever want a Loot Crate? >> Nope. Are you sensitive to caffeine? >> Yeah, partially because I take birth control (which extends how long caffeine stays in the system). Do you enjoy any of your friend’s grandparents? >> --- Do you have any friends that have moved a state away? >> I am usually the one who moves. Have you ever worked in sales? >> No. What’s something someone calls you that you find endearing? >> I like when Can Calah calls me “love”. Who was the last person you had a heart to heart with? >> Can Calah. What’s your favorite children’s book? >> The Phantom Tollbooth, without a doubt. Is there a new season for a series you’re excited to come out? >> Not that I can think of right now. When a show is in the off-season, I tend to kind of forget it even exists until it starts airing again, so. What’s the last funny thing you remember someone saying to you? >> I don’t remember. If you wear makeup, what brands do you use? >> --- What shampoo and conditoner are you using? >> I use a shea butter shampoo, and no conditioner. Do you like Lily Pulitzer? >> I don’t know who that is.

How old are you? >> 33.

How do you usually do your hair? >> I don’t. How do you feel about leggings if your shirt covers your butt? >> I don’t wear leggings period, because of how they feel on my skin. What’s your favorite playlist named? >> I don’t have a favourite playlist. Have you ever been given a ticket? What for? >> Nope. What is something unique you enjoy about the one you like/love? >> Hmm. What is your favorite frappuccino flavor? >> I don’t drink those. What is something that would make you think less of someone? >> If they said a racial slur. Do/did you have a Neopets account? >> Nope. I do have a Flight Rising account, though. Have you ever cheated on a significant other? >> Yes. What is something you’re procrastinating? >> Nothing.

What app do you waste the most time on? >> I spend a fair amount of time on tumblr, I guess. Not as much as I used to, but. Do you play any games on your phone? >> I use a crossword app, Alphacross. Are you more liberal or conservative? >> Liberal. Have you discovered any bands or artists lately you’re digging? >> No, I’ve mostly been listening to my old standbys. Who was the last you saw perform live? >> Hozier. Are you into sport’s ball? >> I am not into sportsball.

[yaspup9000]

Here are some funny little childhood memories

back when I was in elementary school, The cheese touch was a thing. no there wasn’t any cheese but it was a meme in our school thanks to the diary of a whippy kid books/movie at the time.

Every winter when we had the blacktops, we had a crap ton of snow all around the whole blacktop and we used to call it Icetopia and the little parts of Icetopia we used to call it snowtopia. A friend of mine had at one point made a complex tunnel system while other kids were making Igloos and stuff. Man, I miss Icetopia and Snowtopia. And I miss some of my elementary teachers too.

Funny enough, Back when I was in 2/3 grade or whatever One of the teacher’s aid had seen me drawing my main Neopet oc (Yaspup/me). And she asked me to try to draw something else. now at the time at first i thought she was mean to me but once I’ve started drawing some new things and find other art styles my artwork had started growing along with my special interests. So, in the end, that teacher aid kinda helped me grow as an artist. Along with other things.. but still, I wish I could thank her.

Younger me/Yaspup2000 always loves imagining people/classmates as different animals than just humans. and Imagine that I was an animal as well. Idk man, It’s Just A nice type of escapism since I always found humans boring and how people care too much about race and crap. That's why I love Having animal-related toys instead of dolls. and I didn’t care if some animal toys were boy toys If there’s an animal in it I loved it! idk if it’s cause I grew up on Bambi and fox and the hound on repeat but I just found animals to be much more cooler than humans (even though humans do count as animals, then I found humans are the most overrated animal in the animal kingdom)

Pokemon BW was the first pokemon game I’ve ever played and I Freaking loved it to death! Also I think this kid at the time who I found him to be really cool kinda got me into the pokemon scene. (I mean why yes I was familiar with pokemon but I’ve never seemed to get into it until this kid who i thought was cool got me into it. Idk if it’s cause he was into Neopets as well but yeah)

In Third grade for Halloween, I dressed up as lady rainacorn from adventure time (It was homemade)

Wow sorry about that Just some childhood ramblings ya know, man I can't believe it’s the 2010′s is ending but anyhow tell me a few of your childhood ramblings of the 2010s

[sagamemes]

podiots sentence starters, part i.   contains 143 lines of dialogue collected from episodes one through three of the vidiots’ fortnightly podcast podiots. i’ve edited some lines to fit roleplay better, and randomised the order. contains two mentions of violence against nazis---last two sentences on the list, if don’t want to see it---feel free to change those into your muse’s in-universe equivalents, as well as edit anything else needed to fit your muse’s mouth or life better.

❝ after my dad showed me that, i never trusted him again. ❞

❝ that’s actually an explanation for a lot of ghost sightings, carbon monoxide poisoning. there are symptoms that cause like hallucinations and feelings of dread and fear. ❞

❝ i would be called chocolate thunder, and i’d wear a cape. ❞

❝ would you just get over it? i was a kid! ❞

❝ it was just this weird rag doll girl who happened to be in a bikini just falling, forever. ❞

❝ is there ever not a sexual element to it?! ❞

❝ well, you’ve clearly never met a salaried genie who’s on a retainer. ❞

❝ you’ve had your money taken. ❞

❝ i just want people to pay attention, for fuck’s sake. ❞

❝ you guys are really into your obscure shit. ❞

❝ it’s a bit like class tourism, isn’t it? ❞

❝ that’s what i was saying, this is---this is probably not legal. ❞

❝ you asked to bring weird things. ❞

❝ boy, do i hate facebook! ❞

❝ to be fair, her balloon animals are quite impressive. ❞

❝ jesus, why aren’t you on neopets yet? ❞

❝ you can’t always afford the homemade stuff. and typically, there’s less of it. and sometimes it’s not very good. and you’re paying a premium! ❞

❝ i’m so fucking over [thing]. to be fair, i ruined it for myself. ❞

❝ he’s just some time traveller, fucking with them with a fucking mp3 player. ❞

❝ what the fuck is a ‘num noms’? ❞

❝ so it’s a miracle that [name] didn’t asphyxiate himself as a child, and it’s amazing that i didn’t have some kind of cardiac issue almost immediately in my late teens. what do you bring to the table here? ❞

❝ i’m a big fan of weird gameboy stuff. ❞

❝ i’m like that rabbit from alice in wonderland. tiny, and late, and white. ❞

❝ it’ll make you terrified of ever going to a hotel again. ❞

❝ i like watching it but it’s not teaching me anything. ❞

❝ no, i don’t think there was any bubbles in it. ❞

❝ what do your mums think about what you’re doing? ❞

❝ gho-mophobic. that was a really difficult pun. ❞

❝ should we just start it? should we just go without him? ❞

❝ not that i could out-style you in any capacity. ❞

❝ i shouldn’t have asked for a horse. ❞

❝ our problem was nobody would take us seriously. ❞

❝ i’ve spent months trying to explain the job to her. my old job, she kind of got that, but now... ❞

❝ about halfway into the first [food] i went ‘oh... this is a lot of food’.---/i ate it all/, and then i felt sick for the rest of the sunday. ❞

❝ you were skirting around it, but if you ask me, directly, that’s what i’m going to say. ❞

❝ say a ghost laid a ghost poo on the floor, does it just stay there forever? ❞

❝ do you have an answer to this? because i’ve never given /any/ thought... ❞

❝ i’ve heard somewhere you can do that now. ❞

❝ my mum thinks you’re very funny, [name]. ❞

❝ no, that was all you. every penny, all you. ❞

❝ not the reason i was there, but it was a nice benefit. ❞

❝ stop. i mean---don’t stop. but /stop/. ❞

❝ [name] is the kind of man who’s so rich, he thinks a can of beans costs two thousand dollars. ❞

❝ just before going/coming in, my taxi driver said ‘oh, be careful, people get stabbed around here, bye!’ ❞

❝ be aware that this is /not/ a donation to a charitable cause. ❞

❝ i just do shots of olive oil. ❞

❝ no wonder he’s so fucking weird. ❞

❝ get a big old truck, for all that junk inside your trunk. ❞

❝ you’re not supposed to put cotton swabs in there, let alone a lit flame. ❞

❝ fuck you... [name]. i’m gonna... suck. your dick. ❞

❝ i’ve admittedly grown more bold with my culinary disgusts. ❞

❝ my chocolate shotgun, it’s a legally non-threatening weapon. ❞

❝ you did look very smart. very respectable. ❞

❝ everyone’s pulled the legs off a daddy longlegs, but that’s just like level one, that’s where you leave it. ❞

❝ see, that just sounds like batman. ❞

❝ i forgot that was the origin of this. ❞

❝ i feel like there’s something in the air. ❞

❝ there’s cosplaying and dressing up, and then there’s furries. ❞

❝ obviously, he--i mean i say obviously, like it’s /logical/, but... ❞

❝ if they did that, it’d be a lot more convenient for me. sometimes, it’s not the end of the world, is all i’m saying. ❞

❝ i am a freak. i have hands and feet, and if you’d saw me, you’d be petrified. ❞

❝ they have a meal deal which is like [£40/€45/$55]. and you get like a 25" square pizza, like seven garlic breads, and several ice creams. i could never make a dent in that, but the idea of it sounds very sexy. ❞

❝ well, he’ll be back soon! ❞

❝ you know, like a hammer throw---if i tied a string around it, i think i could throw a ps2 pretty far. properly like, swing it around, lean against it, do a spin. ❞

❝ day to day... i don’t eat breakfast. ❞

❝ we’re trying to be on everything, that’s our goal. ❞

❝ my finishing move would be called the ‘fuck you.’ ❞

❝ but i could never do that, i've got stuff to do! ❞

❝ i like dad rock. ❞

❝ if you’re having a party, i’m going to tell you what to do. ❞

❝ she looks far more normal than i expected. ❞

❝ i asked metaphorically, not physically. ❞

❝ i asked for some ___. we got about fifty. we only needed five. ❞

❝ there’s still time to save this american icon. ❞

❝ there were two [job title]s in there, who were like, super young and sexy men with really nice hair. ❞

❝ it’s read like it’s a documentary, not like ‘haha, and then he died!’ ❞

❝ i don’t want my lampshade looking at me! ❞

❝ give him something to do, he’ll be quiet, [name] and i can go to the shops and talk about where our marriage went wrong. ❞

❝ you don’t need to look at the front. usually, you’re behind ____. if he’s got a nice arse, that’s all that matters. ❞

❝ what’s your favourite cereal? ❞

❝ i’m just saying---sometimes local shops are shit. ❞

❝ i don’t think if you know this, [name]---i think you do, because you told me. ❞

❝ you take kids to a mcdonald’s, they’ll play at mcdonald’s. ❞

❝ you exist and then you don’t. ❞

❝ [name] is going through some financial issues, by which i mean, it’s fucked. ❞

❝ that’s a bit morbid. ❞

❝ i was thinking about ____ earlier. yeah, it crosses my mind at least like once an hour. ❞

❝ i had a great day, we went outside for lunch, i got gelato, it was great! ❞

❝ the tabloids loved the story. ❞

❝ you have to be really confused. ❞

❝ i really wanted to include h. h. holmes in this list because he’s my favourite murderer. ❞

❝ we’re not journalists, we’re just idiots on the internet. ❞

❝ it’s not the kind of name you gloss over. ❞

❝ ‘how did it get there?’ this is a /talking mongoose/ and you’re wondering how it got there? ❞

❝ is he a cat?! ❞

❝ i bought a replacement [name]. ❞

❝ i grew up in a village that didn’t even have a supermarket. ❞

❝ he was just---he was borderline abusive in my own house. ❞

❝ that’s gonna take you forever! ❞

❝ okay, well, i’m uncomfortable, what are we doing? ❞

❝ we’re not like... ‘i think i can make a joke about fighting your mother while playing a game’. we don’t know that well. ❞

❝ he’s like a genie, we only get one wish per day. ❞

❝ you take a drink and then you’re like ‘i don’t wanna drink too loud’ so you end up taking a tiny amount but then you don’t want to swallow too loud so you sort of inhale it a little bit and you’re like ‘i can’t cough, i can’t cough’... ❞

❝ now, [name] just heard that i wanted the attention and instantly decided he needed it instead. ❞

❝ we’re in dire need of new shelves. that money is going straight to shelves. ❞

❝ i never played ____. i kinda missed that train. ❞

❝ i could do the face for free. ❞

❝ it’s immediately feeling very warm in here. ❞

❝ presumably, this guy owns a lot of toys, so num noms is a thing. ❞

❝ i think that’s just a [region/state] thing. ❞

❝ let’s play a game called ‘how many people did they murder?’ ❞

❝ who is getting out of this room alive? ❞

❝ it’s like that song about the grandfather clock. ‘and it stopped, short, never to go again, when the ooold maaan died’. ❞

❝ [in the tune of new york] you’ll get punched in yoouur face. ❞

❝ don’t---don’t entertain his odd nonsense! ❞

❝ i don’t like people! i want my own space! ❞

❝ that’s something i always found really fascinating, like just wanting the username ‘batman’. how early would you have to be just to be ‘batman’? ❞

❝ you can’t complain about something disappearing if you’ve not been using it. ❞

❝ oh yeah, i always go to the dentist and get my brows done. ❞

❝ i loved [old place], and [this place] is also very lovely, it’s just a lot more expensive. ❞

❝ it’s a shame. just a couple of months longer and you would’ve had some employee rights. ❞

❝ there is a very good balloon elmo in this picture. ❞

❝ so, with all of this, what do you think the result is of this kind of upbringing and toxic relationship with your mother? ❞

❝ yeah, think about that. maybe we don’t like you. ❞

❝ they're’s so comfortable, i could almost fall asleep. ❞

❝ could you take this bottle of water, pour it in the sink, fill it again, and bring back to me? ❞

❝ it’s a sex number, i like it. ❞

❝ so what did the police do?---return him to [person]. ❞

❝ i wish /my/ mum thought i was funny. ❞

❝ okay, that’s gonna be interesting, having someone with a blade on my throat. ❞

❝ they can fire me if they want! they can fire me! ❞

❝ i don’t know why i said ‘basically’ like i’m about to explain how the internet works. ❞

❝ before, i had---there’s a shame element, isn’t it? you don’t want to do it because you’re afraid of judgement. ❞

❝ at one point, he had me squatting barefoot in my own bath. ❞

❝ eventually, we’re just gonna have to buy a storage locker for all this stuff. ❞

❝ i’ve got quite a sizeable list, i won’t talk about all of them. ❞

❝ how did we become the internet goblins we are today? ❞

❝ are you allergic to a.i.? ❞

❝ at least this is something you’re self-aware. if it was something other people had picked up on... ❞

❝ we have yellow and black, kind of a barry b. benson inspired look. ❞

❝ i was very disappointed at like eight when i found out they weren’t called ‘the food fighters’. ❞

❝ oh yeah, kicking hitler and shooting nazis is a lot of fun. ❞

❝ i’d love to throw a bop it extreme at hitler’s face, is what i’m saying, and i could do it from a long distance away. ❞

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I gotta share this funny thing even though it might not seem all that funny. But I’m sharing it anyway.

Okay, so, I’ve been on Neopets for over a decade, according to my main account (which is my 2nd oldest account ever...my first account was frozen, heh. Long story.). Almost 13 years, actually. Well, that’s how long I’ve had that account - how long I’ve actually played is probably about...7-8 years in total? What time during my childhood I didn’t dedicate to playing video games (Pokemon, mostly...hey look, things don’t change! I mean, I don’t change. Much), I spent on Neopets. So, anyway, one of my dream pets was a pirate Xweetok, who I finally got to create in 2012 by means of painting her. (A digression: paint brushes back then were so fucking expensive. I spent like 200k on a starry paint brush on that account’s first Neopet and that was SO EXCITING to me as a child, but also intimidating because that meant, like, holy shit, it would take me FOREVER saving up to get any of my other dream pets. But ever since I learned about the Food Club in 2013/2014, well, let’s just say: what’s being poor? I don’t know her. :p And I only keep getting richer...heehee...)

So, like a lot of creative people on Neopets which is pretty much the main attraction of the site, itself (for those of us bad at the games and such, haha...), I created a character and story for this pirate Xwee, and I based her story off the song “Learn Me Right” because at that time I was - and still occasionally am - obsessed with Brave and everything, music included, about it. And apparently - I’m looking back at it now and haven’t worked on the first chapter since I wrote it and put it up - it starts off with her stealing bread. And IT’S FUNNY because I meant to base the song off “Learn Me Right” but it sounds a good deal like “Hunger Strike,” am I right? But of course, then, I was still a teenager, and I had never heard that song before, so I couldn’t have even subconsciously based it off that song. It’s just...the coincidence, and the way things change, or sometimes don’t, or sometimes do but at a minuscule level. It’s just funny. I’m getting a kick out of it, at least. :)

[lovemesomesurveys]

Does your middle name begin with letters A-G?. No.

What is your state’s largest city? Los Angeles. Pick your three favourite vegetables. Broccoli, corn, green beans. Have you ever broken a movie or game disc? Possibly.

What colour are your brother’s eyes? Like a hazel-ish color.

What are you feeling right now? Tired. Kind of hungry. Do you watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Nope. How many flights of stairs are in your house? None. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? Yeah, I’ve played never have I ever. Do you often feel excluded? Yes. Are you good with managing your finances? I get a little carried away sometimes, but I do okay overall. Do you have an accountant? Nope. Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Yes. Have you ever been to Mexico? Yes. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 100 and something. Do you regularly check anyone’s profile online? Nope. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Dominos. What age did your mum stop helping you clean your room, if she ever did? Well funny enough she helped clean out my closet yesterday and then vacuumed. What colour is your toothpaste? White. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? No. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? No. Are you any good at drawing? Nope. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I mean, it depends. How old will you be turning in 2020? 31. Have you ever met anyone with Multiple Personality Disorder? It’s Dissociative Identity Disorder, and no. What is your favourite type of cookie? Sugar and shortbread. Do you spell things the way I do? (colour, favourite, flavour etc.) No. When was the last time you painted your nails? Like 3 years ago. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? Yep. Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Are you a fidgety person? I am. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yes. I took piano and violin. Is there anything going on outside your window? No.

When was the last time you congratulated someone? I don’t remember. Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? I helped out when my younger brother was born. How old were you when you got your ears pierced? I was a baby. Do you snore when you sleep? I don’t think I do.

[electricea-a]

☆ ★ ☆

Send me a ★ for an IC fact or send me a ☆ for an OOC fact. - Accepting.

☆ - I love the board game Clue, I can’t really explain why.  I guess it’s because it’s a game that you can either play totally casually or hardcore play? Like I’ve seen people who scribble all over their little notepads and jot down even the tiniest details.  Also, it’s kind of fun because there’s different scenarios for each game and it’s fun to figure out and try to outmaneuver the other players.  I wish there was a place you could play Clue online because I’d be so down for that.

★ - It’s kind of funny because earlier I sent an ask about Ryuji adopting a puppy but if he were to own any pet, I think it’d probably be something more lowkey like a fish or a hamster - I think I made a post on my old blog about him owning a hamster and it was just the cutest thing.  Also, a fish would fit with him, considering he has a pirate Persona.

☆ - Speaking of games, I’m pretty hopeless at poker - never understood how to play it.  Card games like Cheat or Crazy Eight are more my speed.  I remember as a kid back in the 90′s, I loved playing Cheat on Neopets (Yeah Neopets, don’t judge me. :p) and I swear, the other pets were always cheating.  They always called me out when I was cheating, without fail.  Pretty ironic that in a game about cheating, I actually had to play legitimately in order to have a shot at winning.  But yeah, those are fun games - Go Fish is fun too and also UNO is pretty fun.  I play it on Facebook quite a bit and I’ve enjoyed it a lot.

[staircasttext]

Episode 01 Transcript: The Soul Is Stored in the Balls

Episode 01

PAZ: Well, here we are. Here we are in Warriors land. Back again.

JULIAN: Welcome to Warrior Cats, the unnamed podcast.

PAZ: The unnamed podcast. That's true. We don't have a name.

LIZ: Maybe we should have thought about that, but.

PAZ: That-- that'll come later. That's something you have to ruminate on. But yes, this is our Warrior Cats reread podcast slash just read podcast.

And we are starting today with Into the Wild, which is the first book in all the series. There's like a bajillion books now, I don't even know half of them. But we read-- what was it? Up and through chapter four.

Yeah, so we're gonna talk about it. And we should do introductions. So I'm Paz. Who wants to go next?

JULIAN: Oh, I was waiting for more from your intro.

LIZ: Apparently.

PAZ: I didn't think this through.

JULIAN: Do you want to talk about your past experience with the Warriors books?

PAZ: Yeah, I wasn't sure if we wanted to, like, introduce ourselves and then-- but that might make more sense. Okay, so we all have differing levels of experience with this series.

I was a huge Warrior cats fan. As a kid, I role played it at recess, on the Neopets boards, on weird forums, whatever you name. But I actually have never read all of the first series because I started with the second series, the New Prophecy I think it's called. And then when I tried to go back and read the first series, I thought Firepaw was really boring. So then I didn't read all of it.

So I've read all of the New Prophecy and the Power of Three, I believe, and then multiple of like the special books, including the weird manga that exists. So that's my experience with it.

LIZ: I didn't know that. And I'm googling that right now.

PAZ: Oh, I can send pictures later. Don't worry about it.

JULIAN: The manga is incredible. It's a work of art.

PAZ: I physically own it.

JULIAN: I'm so glad.

LIZ: It's different than I thought it would.

JULIAN: No emo bangs.

LIZ: I've got questions about that. But we'll get to that.

JULIAN: Um, I'm Julian, I was also a huge Warrior Cats fan as a kid. But I mostly read the first series, and then A New Prophecy, and then I thought there was too much magic in A Power of Three and stopped reading them.

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: It just wasn't realistic. 11 year old me looked for strict realism in their cat reading material. Yeah, I did a lot of roleplay but strictly on one forum that was basically me and all of my friends from school, and then my friend's older sister and all of her friends from school. And it was a great little corner of the internet. We all lied about our ages, because none of us were 13. Shout out to Proboards.

LIZ: I'm Liz. I have never in my whole life until now even, even touched the surface of Warrior Cats. And it's amazing because it seems like it would be right in my wheelhouse. But when I was 13, or saying I was 13 and being less than 13, I was into-- I was a wolf girl.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: And a dragon girl. And most specifically an owl girl. I was into something adjacent to Warrior Cats, which is Guardians of Gahoole. Which is about owls. That's not what this podcast is about. But it's also you know got violence.

PAZ: And bird Nazis.

LIZ: It's anti bird Nazi, if that helps. I do not remember that much about it. I'm looking forward to delving into this other society of animals who are suffering.

PAZ: Okay Liz.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I have to ask, what was your impression of Warrior Cats, without like pre-reading any of it? What do you think goes on in it?

LIZ: I thought it would be about cats in like-- pretty much what happens. Like, different cats, different groups. And they do not like each other.

I thought there would be more magic than I encountered in the four chapters.

PAZ: Oh, just you wait.

LIZ: Yeah, based on what you guys have said, I think that will pop off.

JULIAN: Yeah, it uh. I did read some of the stuff that happens in later series and it really does pop off.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm really curious about the latest series now because you're right that like, the Power of Three, it really started getting kind of wild. Which I loved the Power of Three because of that. I was the opposite of you.

I don't know why I stopped reading. I don't know. I got busy with important teenager things, I guess.

Who knows?

JULIAN: It feels like there is a very much a sweet spot of like early teens.

PAZ: Yeah, for sure.

JULIAN: Or like slightly preteen to read them. And then you hit-- you get a little old and then you become embarrassed of your catsona and all of your OC cats.

PAZ: Which is, never be embarrassed of your Warrior Cats OCs. We're taking--

JULIAN: Right. Don't be embarrassed of the things you love.

PAZ: Yeah, we're taking a strong pro Warrior Cats OC, Warrior Cats with emo bangs stance here.

LIZ: I'm strongly in support of it, too. What's more pure than this? Like, yes cats. Yes hairstyles. Yes customisations. Don't know why I said that one so weird. Okay, since we're getting to that, I have a vital question. They do mostly just look like the cats we see in the real world, right? Just...

JULIAN: Yeah, the emo bangs are an addition. Those are not canon.

PAZ: The emo bangs are not canon. The big anime eyes, not canon. I mean, all the-- on the cover of Into the Wild, which is the first book, is Firepaw. And that's just a cat.

LIZ: Just an orange cat.

JULIAN: Yeah, just a little guy.

PAZ: They do just look like cats.

JULIAN: There was so much drama about what your cat could look like and whether they were allowed to have like, purple eyes or like, Siamese coat types.

PAZ: I did not encounter that at all. It was kind of lawless on Neopets.com.

LIZ: I would believe that, but also I think the answer should be a unanimous yes because why not? These are your cat OCs.

JULIAN: Exactly.

LIZ: You can do whatever you want. You can give them purple eyes. And you can give them, I don't know, wings. Wings are very popular within OCs in 2006.

PAZ: Yeah, absolutely the cat OCs had wings.

JULIAN: I think we should bring them back. More wings on OCS in 2021.

PAZ: Exactly.

JULIAN: Yeah, there was one person on the forum I was on who was very strict about, like, cat breeding and the kinds of coats that could conceivably show up in, like, cat populations in the wild.

PAZ: That's extremely funny.

JULIAN: It was a lot.

PAZ: Well, I'm glad we can settle that. I know that was a burning question for you, Liz. That I told you not to ask.

LIZ: Until we got here.

PAZ: Yes. But now you know, they're just cats.

LIZ: They are just cats, which means figurative-- well, not figuratively but possibly, there could be some that just look very silly, but also very fierce.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: I'm looking at this picture of the cast of cats from the manga I think. One of them does look like he has the cat pattern of having pants, which is one of my favorites.

PAZ: Yeah, I'll have to take and share some pictures from the manga because the art style is hilarious. But that's a different conversation.

JULIAN: Paz, you wanna take it--

PAZ: Yeah, we should delve into this. Do we want to go chapter by chapter? Should I just do all summaries at once? What do we want?

JULIAN: Um, I don't remember what happens in which chapter versus another chapter.

PAZ: Okay, then.

JULIAN: I took notes, but like, everything happens so much.

PAZ: Okay, I guess I'll just say... I mean, I'll just say them all, I guess.

LIZ: Yeah, they're pretty short.

PAZ: Okay. So, as with all Warrior Cats books, there is a prologue. And that opens on a very dramatic battle between ThunderClan and RiverClan, and Tigerclaw, who is a ThunderClan cat, tells Oakheart to like, get the hell out of there. Oakheart's a RiverClan. That's Thunder cat territory, blah, blah, blah, and they get ambushed. And then Redtail, who's another ThunderClan cat says, we need to retreat, and they do. And then we cut to Bluestar, who is the ThunderClan leader, talking to Spottedleaf, who is the medicine cat about how they need more warriors, because now they're fighting a bunch. And then Spottedleaf talks with the cats in cat heaven, which that's a thing. And there's a prophecy that fire alone can save our clan. And that's the prologue.

And then in chapter one, we leave the world of Warrior Cats to open on Rusty, who is a kittypet, having a dream about hunting a mouse. And he wakes up before he can catch it and thinks about how much it sucks to be a house cat and how shitty his food is. And then he goes out into the garden to contemplate this. And his friend Smudge comes out to talk to him. And they talk about how dangerous the woods are. And Rusty decides to go in and explore.

And while he's there, he gets attacked by a strange cat. And they have a fight. And that cat stops and he's like, hi, I'm Graypaw. And he does some exposition about the clan. And before Rusty can leave, Bluestar and Lionheart show up. And Bluestar's like, hey, you're cool and you can fight. Good job.

And then in chapter two, Rusty's like, well, I want to kill some mice. And Bluestar's like, No, this is our woods. You have like a bunch of food back home. Go away. And Rusty's like, Oh, I'm sorry. And Bluestar's like, actually, do you want to join ThunderClan?

And she explains that ThunderClan needs more warriors, which is why they would take in a kittypet. And then there's some weird dialogue about how Rusty can still be a warrior because he still has his balls. And they give Rusty a day to think on this offer and he heads back to his house.

And then in chapter three, he has that mouse dream again, except this time the Clan cats are in it. And he's all, like, oh, will I/won't I. And out in the garden, he has another conversation with his friend Smudge, and tells him about it, and ultimately decides he's gonna go join ThunderClan. And Smudge is like, no, don't go. But Rusty's like, no, I must. And they have a nice morning saying goodbye. And after his little goodbye tour, Rusty goes up and meets with Lionheart and goes back to the ThunderClan camp. And Bluestar calls a camp meeting. And she's like, hey, this cat is joining us. And everyone's like, ew, this is a kittypet.

And Rusty gets in a fight with Longtail to defend his honor. And there's a dramatic scene where his collar gets ripped off. And Bluestar officially declares him a Thunderclan cat apprentice and gives him the name Firepaw.

And then this apprentice cat runs back to camp injured and says that Redtail is dead. And then chapter four, our last chapter, everyone's like super upset by this news that Redtail died in battle with Riverclan. The apprentice cat says Redtail was killed by Oakheart, who was then killed by Tigerclaw, and Tigerclaw comes back with Redtail's body. Then there's some exposition about StarClan, which is where dead cats go.

Everyone goes to mourn Redtail, who was the clan deputy. Graypaw takes Firepaw on a little tour. And then later that night Bluestar announces that she's appointing a new deputy. And Firepaw notices that Tigerclaw looks very eager to hear the news, but it's actually Lionheart who is appointed the new deputy instead. Firepaw and Graypaw head to the apprentice den to sleep, where a cat named Sandpaw tells him he smells bad, which is extremely rude.

LIZ: He's a stinky boy.

PAZ: And Firepaw goes to sleep, and it ends thinking, he's like, Oh, I'm finally a member of ThunderClan. So that was our reading for this session.

JULIAN: I gotta say I did not expect there to be such-- I didn't expect, like, cats getting their balls stolen to be such a big plot point. I have like three separate notes that are just like, Rusty got his balls stole?

PAZ: Who was that? It was like Henry or something.

JULIAN: Henry, yeah.

PAZ: Ever since Henry went to the vet, he's stupid and lazy. It's because his balls are gone.

LIZ: They came at it right from the beginning. I wasn't expecting it so soon. And also, I guess from like, technically, from a children's novel, right, like, balls front and center.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't-- you didn't really need to address that, I don't think.

JULIAN: It's like the crux of the reason that Rusty becomes a warrior, his castration anxiety.

PAZ: Yeah, he's like, Oh, I don't want to go to the vet and get like the snip or whatever they call it. And everyone's like-- everyone's acting like if you get your balls cut off, you get brainwashed or something. They're like, you change.

LIZ: Yeah, it's treated with the same weight as like, a lobotomy. And also, it is not called the snip. It's called, with capital letters, The Cutting. So is this a question of like, bodily autonomy or biological essentialism? That is the question.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: The gender politics of this book are bizarre.

PAZ: Yeah, they really are quite bizarre. Very like, I don't know. Like they call all the female cats queens. All cats are queens. And all the male cats toms. But if you get your balls cut off, you aren't a tom anymore. Fuck you. So don't get your balls cut off.

JULIAN: Also Bluestar is a hashtag girl boss.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yeah. Is Bluestar a milf is, I think, a question that is on all our minds.

JULIAN: I would say yes.

LIZ: Is it on all our minds?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I mean, it is now.

LIZ: That's true.

PAZ: But yeah, anyway, the ball politics, very, very weird. I think--

LIZ: Excuse you, ballotics.

PAZ: The ballotics, yes. I also think like the weird politics around like, cat ownership are also very bizarre. It was like, house cats are miserable.

JULIAN: Right?

PAZ: And only wild cats are free.

JULIAN: It seems like the author is taking a very strong stance against trap neuter return programs for feral cats.

PAZ: Yeah, that kind of is what that all adds up to, huh?

LIZ: It's like, how much of this is just oh, I'm writing a fun fantasy thing about talking cats, and how much of it is like, cats should be free and in the wild. And also, we should never keep them indoors.

PAZ: But then there's also like, it's also a plot point that they're running out of prey, like they're having a food shortage.

LIZ: So I'm like, okay, what's your stance? That cats are a strain on the environment? Or that cats should not be kept as pets? Or is that just coincidental? Like, did the author not even think about it? Because that's also pretty common just fantasy, or just general story narrative. Oh, limited resources. Is that related to letting all these housecats be strays and not doing anything about it? I don't know.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: Well, and it seems like all of the people in this neighborhood just let their cats outside, which I guess was more common in 2003, but.

PAZ: Did you say there was debate of like whether this took place in England or America? Because I know, I think in the UK, people let their cats out even more, so.

LIZ: Oh, I can't imagine these cats as British. That's too much.

PAZ: No?

LIZ: I don't want to. I can see like the animated movie of this where one of the cats just opens its mouth, and it just sounds like the most upper class rich person cat in the world. Pretty much exactly like the Guardians of Gahoole movie, actually.

JULIAN: I think these cats have like Cockney accents. These are like rough and scrappy cats. These are not like RP cats.

PAZ: Yeah, I have to agree with that. It's the kittypets that would be all proper. Maybe when you get your balls cut off, you get an upperclass accent.

LIZ: Oh no. That's the worst.

JULIAN: Oh no.

PAZ: I don't know, it's so weird.

LIZ: Powerful ballitical steps.

JULIAN: They also, the way they talk about like cat food is just the most unappetizing, like viscerally unpleasant. They're "stale little pellets." And it's like, well, damn.

PAZ: Yeah, that's what I mean.

JULIAN: My cat does not seem that unhappy to eat them.

LIZ: Doesn't Kip like-- that is, by the way, Paz's amazing celebrity cat. Doesn't Kip just like prefer that?

PAZ: Yeah. Kip likes dry cat food because he likes to crunch things. I mean, he also does hunt and kill mice. But I don't know. He's perfectly happy to eat dry cat food too.

LIZ: Yeah, that was like, that part was like, when I'm like, what are these politics about cat ownership? Cause you're really making being a house cat seem like a prison or something.

JULIAN: Do the Twolegs know that their cats are sentient?

PAZ: I don't know. I don't remember how humans are handled really in this series. Like if they--

JULIAN: I think it comes up slightly-- like a little bit later in one of the books, in like book five or something. But I don't think like. I don't remember if cats are shown as being able to understand human speech. Because they can definitely understand dog speech.

PAZ: Oh, my God, they can.

JULIAN: That will come up.

PAZ: Oh my god, I don't remember that.

LIZ: Wait, fuck. Do they meet dogs? What are the dogs like?

PAZ: Oh, I was just gonna say so they can understand dog speech. But can they not understand like, mouse speech? Are mice like, nonsentient? Are there like levels of sentience in this world?

JULIAN: Yeah, there's a lot of unsolved philosophical questions about sentience and autonomy in these books.

PAZ: And that's what we're here to answer.

JULIAN: Like, this isn't a Redwall situation where all of the animals are sentient.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: This is like a like-- because it doesn't seem like mice are. They just squeak.

LIZ: It's hierarchical. Like, is there a possible future in which the Warrior Cats will like establish themselves as a quote unquote "civilization" enough that they like establish agriculture and livestock? Are there going to be cats keeping like little cages and fields with mice domesticated? And will those mice eventually gain their own society?

JULIAN: Oh shit.

LIZ: Which the cats can't understand.

PAZ: So is domestication the route to sentience here? Is that what we're saying?

LIZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: When will the cats invent capitalism?

PAZ: Okay, that's another point like, I gotta say.

JULIAN: Because they already have a scarcity based economy. Why don't they just trade prey?

PAZ: But I also do like that, you know, they have like, universal health care. And then they, you know, all cats in the Clan are taken care of, and the old cats get food too. I'm like, damn, these cats have a better system going on than I got.

LIZ: I wish that was me.

JULIAN: My main question about the elders is, I love that they are taken care of and valued for their wisdom. Do they get like new names when they become elders? Because I hope that Halfear's name was not always Halfear.

PAZ: Yeah, some of the names are very, like, very specific. I don't think they do. I don't know. Maybe you can change your name.

LIZ: I mean, Rusty got to change his name pretty easily.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: That's true.

LIZ: I mean, I guess--

JULIAN: Oh sorry, it was Halftail.

PAZ: What if Halftail used to be like Longtail or whatever, and then?

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Or maybe like, maybe that was a situation where it was a cat born with like a short tail. Who can say?

JULIAN: That's true.

LIZ: I love those. Those are great.

Yeah, I can see as like, this is just a cultural thing where like you get to a certain age, you can change it if you want, based on how you feeling. But also, I think, I guess like the real or meta answer is, this is a kid's book. And if you have a little grandma cat, you're gonna call that cat, like, Wrinkletail.

PAZ: Do you know the naming scheme setup in Warrior Cats, though, Liz?

LIZ: It like seems to be thing, cat-related word, sometimes.

PAZ: So it's like, the kittens are like, __kit. I think, correct me if I'm wrong.

JULIAN: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: And then the apprentices are like, __paw, like Firepaw. And then once they graduate into being warriors, they get like that second half of their name. I totally forget where that comes from and like who chooses it.

LIZ: Like a surname or?

PAZ: No, like, I think Graypaw becomes Graystripe, for example.

JULIAN: Yeah. And like, Sandpaw becomes Sandstorm.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: So it's like, it's really just a second half of the name that sounds cool. I think Bluestar gives them, because we see that happen in this--

PAZ: Do we?

JULIAN: In the end of chapter four, right? Doesn't someone become a warrior and then takes an apprentice?

PAZ: Oh, I thought somebody was already a warrior. And it's like, Here's your first apprentice.

JULIAN: I may be misremembering this.

PAZ: I mean, that's probably right though, cuz she gives him the name Firepaw, so. I don't know.

LIZ: So I guess it is like cultural then, at least as a coming of age thing, which is, you know, that works for plenty of human people in the real world. It also makes sense why all the teens are called __paw so I couldn't tell them apart.

PAZ: Yeah, and then the leader of the clan is always like __star. So like Bluestar.

JULIAN: The naming conventions did make it very, very confusing. I was briefly a tag wrangler, for the AO3 Warrior Cats fandom.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Which is 50% actual Warrior Cats fanfic and 50% people uploading RP logs. So not only did I have to make sure that I was tracing canon characters, like through their life cycle, and there are a lot of canon characters who end up sharing the same prefix, which makes that hard. Thank you to the Warrior Cats wiki, which is exhaustive. But then I also had to make sure that it wasn't like an RP OC that just happened to share the same name as a canon character.

PAZ: Yeah, that sounds like a nightmare.

JULIAN: It was kind of fun, but also hellish.

PAZ: Yeah. I mean, like I'm not even like-- because in these like four chapters we got, we already have the main characters with like two different names. They'll just keep coming.

JULIAN: That's why the front of the book has that like cast of characters.

PAZ: They do, yeah.

JULIAN: Which is very helpful. Thank you. All books should have that.

LIZ: Yeah, the fucking dramatis personae for Warrior Cats.

PAZ: They also have like great maps. I loved the maps on the front of the book as a kid.

JULIAN: Oh, the maps were really nice.

LIZ: Um, yeah, I have the ebook on like Libby, and I think the chapter beginnings have like, little illustrations, just like black and white ones.

PAZ: Yeah, they do.

LIZ: They're nice.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're really nice. I don't think there were ever any, like full page illustrations, but.

PAZ: No, not that I remember.

LIZ: There should be like, a deluxe anniversary, whatever edition, and it should just have full page, like, meticulously inked illustrations for like, big battles and dramatic moments. Just woodblocks.

JULIAN: There were Special Edition books, like the big-- that were sort of standalone stories. And those were always-- I don't think they had like big illustrations, but they were always bound really nicely. They were like gold.

PAZ: Yeah. That's where fucking SkyClan, whoever the fuck they are introduced. I think in that, I don't know, like Firestar's Journey one, which I do have. It has the cool gold cover that's reflective.

JULIAN: I always wanted my parents to buy them for me, but they would only buy me the main ones because the special editions were very expensive and we could get them from the library.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Now did you guys ever get them at like book fairs or those little Scholastic Book order things? Cause that's how I got my owl books, basically.

PAZ: Yeah, probably. That's where I got a lot of my books like in general.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think they were mostly Barnes and Noble. Because I would always get-- various people would give me Barnes and Noble gift cards as a child.

LIZ: Oh, yeah, same.

JULIAN: So we would go to the Barnes and Noble and I would pick out either my Warrior Cats or my manga.

LIZ: Those things should be next to each other. The crossover is--

JULIAN: Oh, they were.

PAZ: I mean, there's a Warrior Cats manga. It's just the best of both worlds.

LIZ: That's how you make the gradient. Manga, Warrior Cats manga in the middle, and then Warrior Cats just straight up on the next side.

JULIAN: They knew what they were about.

LIZ: Also I guess, like, what forms are you guys reading them in now? Since that's what we're talking about.

PAZ: Um, you mean like what we're reading the first book on?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I am reading my paper copy that I have from when I was a child that apparently only cost $3 when I bought it.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: And it's extremely old and crinkly.

LIZ: Books haven't been $3, like paper books, in so long.

PAZ: I know. This book is a relic.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: Yeah, I'm just reading on the ebook. which I got from the library. But I might try the audiobook. I'm very curious to see how the audiobook narrator handles the fight scenes.

LIZ: That sounds actually wonderful.

JULIAN: Also I want to know if they do voices.

PAZ: Please. Can we talk about the dialogue tags of like, purred and meowed? Because it kills me every time.

JULIAN: It has such said as dead disease.

PAZ: I know it really does. But also like, purred, like, I don't-- it always like, it's like a seductive word.

JULIAN: I know.

PAZ: I'm like, please stop using that. This is a weird connotation.

JULIAN: I guess the thing is that like, cats can't technically talk.

LIZ: They can say, though.

JULIAN: So you can't use...

PAZ: Well, they're talking in this book, so. Just vague to say so.

JULIAN: It's a lot of like, so-and-so meowed. This person like, echoed, whispered.

PAZ: Purred.

LIZ: Yelled. Lots of yelled.

JULIAN: Yeah. These books are violent also. I did not remember.

PAZ: Oh yeah, they are.

LIZ: Oh yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, someone is brutally killed in like the first four chapters by this very, I mean, we got this like political intrigue kind of going on.

JULIAN: Yeah, there's a lot of border anxiety.

LIZ: This, this has, like, this is a-- this is not a-- mm, conspiracy? I don't know. But like, this is a murder mystery. Right? This follows the structure of so many. Like the newcomer with fresh eyes comes into this reclusive group and discovers the secret murder within its mists. And it's got political motivations. And it's very interesting.

JULIAN: Hold on to that.

PAZ: I mean, I think one character is very clearly evil-coded. Immediately. But it is a child's novel, so.

LIZ: It's a child's novel, but also there's just like grisly murder in this.

PAZ: Oh, yeah.

LIZ: There's lots of bleeding. So what, I'm interested to see what are the lines of like, what's allowed and what's not based on what the author is thinking?

PAZ: Yeah, I feel like eventually, like characters also die in childbirth. I might be misremembering, but like.

JULIAN: No, there's definitely stuff in childbirth.

PAZ: Bad shit happens to-- yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's like, I feel like it's kind of glossed over. Like we don't see anybody's like entrails but like, pretty much up to that point, everything is out there.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I think at one point like, a cat gets injured and like the bone is described. Like it's, they go for it. Which is why 50% of the fics on AO3 had the graphic depiction of violence tag. Which is the highest ratio I have ever seen.

LIZ: And to be fair, I think that's a common thing within this genre of like, extremely violent animal conflict society books for kids. Cause the fucking owl books were like, we've got stabbing, swords.

PAZ: Those were brutal.

LIZ: We've got claws on our claws, extra claws.

JULIAN: I forgot the owls had like swords.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: They didn't. I think they did. They also had like special gauntlets full of live coals for their feats to use as weapons.

PAZ: And I know one-- there was attempted, like siblings. Siblicide in the owl books. You know?

LIZ: From the first chapter, yeah.

PAZ: Kids eat this up.

LIZ: I remember those clearly. Yeah, I think this is the same with like-- probably whatever talking wolf book is out there, it's going to be just the same.

PAZ: Is there a wolf book?

LIZ: There have to be multiple ones. I know that the owl books have like a wolf book subseries.

PAZ: Of course.

LIZ: I've been told that there's like one series about bats that is also extremely like this.

PAZ: Oh, I read that one. I loved that one. That one was also real fucked up.

LIZ: Yeah, this is the bread and butter for kids.

JULIAN: Kids love violence is the thing. It's like, my brother is 10 and like, just finished reading all the Warrior Cats books.

LIZ: Wow, magical times.

JULIAN: I know. So all of my old Warrior Cats books are at home and in use. But like, kids are violent.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yep.

JULIAN: They eat that up.

PAZ: They do. Yeah, I'm like, Warrior Cats is so much fighting. That's like, if it's not like clan politics, or like interpersonal drama, then it's like the fight scenes. Those are the three things Warrior Cats does.

JULIAN: And like, in their defense, the fight scenes are like, they're interesting to read. You know? I feel like they're fairly well choreographed and stuff. I cannot believe that I came out of reading Warrior Cats-- growing up on Warrior Cats being completely unable to write any fights, but. There it is.

PAZ: Well, you probably weren't writing--

JULIAN: Maybe I just need to write more cats.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, they are cats. So that does change the fight dynamic a little bit.

LIZ: You've got to work up from cats. It's like do cats, and then do cat boys. And then you know, whatever comes after that. I have no idea.

PAZ: Uh huh.

JULIAN: I mean, I think what comes after cat boys is just boys.

LIZ: Hmm. Interesting. Never thought of that one.

PAZ: But yeah, I mean, so obviously Tigerclaw is evil.

LIZ: Yeah, there's like at the end, when the other cat gets like the position that he wants. Like, it's described as like, he nudged him so hard that he almost bowled him over. And that's the clear evilness of again, completely regular looking cats.

PAZ: I feel like he gets fucked up looking later, but I can't remember.

JULIAN: I think he might be a little fucked up looking already. He has like some scars.

LIZ: All cats are beautiful.

JULIAN: But all of the cats. All of the cats are a little fucked up looking because they've been in the wild.

PAZ: Also, I like legit can't remember, because like I said, I only read the first two books of this series. But do you think he probably murdered that other cat? That's what I'm assuming at this point, anyway, so.

LIZ: Yeah. 100%.

PAZ: Great. Great start

LIZ: Yeah, cuz the apprentice that got injured and like came back-- I don't remember the name because again, they're all teens with the same thing to me. But like, he asked like, oh, is Tigerclaw gone, or? And then like gets all quiet when he's around. Which is probably very subtle for the children. And yeah, I thought that was like good framing given like the medium and stuff.

PAZ: No, no, I think it's a good start to like, this book. But like I said, I thought Firepaw was really boring as a child. And I gotta say, he's still not impressing me.

LIZ: Yeah, he's very much just like protagonist boy.

JULIAN: Yeah, he has JRPG like protagonist syndrome.

PAZ: Like I know in the New Prophecy, I loved all those characters so much.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: And then going from that to Firepaw, I'm like, wow, you're like white bread.

JULIAN: At least he's better than Graypaw, who's literal-- who's just exposition boy.

JULIAN: exposition boy.

PAZ: Oh my god. I know. I think I must have said he did exposition at least three times in my summary. But like that is literally all he did.

LIZ: Yeah, he's really--

JULIAN: That's all he does.

LIZ: He's your best friend. And when you click on him, he just tells you the lore.

PAZ: Yeah, he has those like dialogue trees you can just go through for like 20 minutes and just learn all about your new RPG world.

LIZ: Which is in the forest with a  bunch of cats.

JULIAN: There you go.

I forgot how tsundere Sandpaw was.

PAZ: I don't remember. I don't remember who Firepaw ends up with? I'm assuming maybe-- I don't-- Sandpaw? I don't know. I don't remember.

LIZ: It feels like it's setting it up really early in the like, typical way.

PAZ: Well, it's good that he still has his balls.

LIZ: He sure does. Hey, when we were talking about like, all the violence before, and you know what, what's so graphic that can be included in a children's novel? Again, the balls just immediately.

JULIAN: They also talk about like, pooping very early.

PAZ: Oh, yeah. Their dirt.

JULIAN: He's described as like making dirt. Which is just like, all right. Thanks, Erin Hunter.

PAZ: Yeah, the what it decides to be realistic on is very funny.

JULIAN: Like, what do cats do? They eat, they fight, they shit, they sleep. They have intense interpersonal and like interclan drama.

PAZ: They have religion.

JULIAN: What else is there?

LIZ: Do they have literature? Or philosophy?

JULIAN: No. Uh...

LIZ: Because...

JULIAN: I mean I feel like their philosophy is-- or like religion and philosophy are sort of, you know.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: I can see the-- I mean, they do have like a strong oral tradition. So I...

PAZ: Absolutely. Yeah.

JULIAN: I think there was some discussion at some point of like, sagas or something, maybe. I might be making that up.

PAZ: No, that sounds right. I don't know.

LIZ: Sounds like it would fit in perfectly.

JULIAN: Right. They can't sing.

LIZ: Especially since they have-- yeah, they have like the lore thing about the afterlife or whatever. So that has to be--

PAZ: StarClan.

LIZ: Yeah, there has to be passed down somehow.

JULIAN: Yep.

PAZ: Yeah, the medicine cats are like the-- they're like doctors slash religious people. I don't know, like your oracles.

LIZ: The medicine stuff is very interesting, because I'm wondering how much of it is just going to be like, just nature-y items that sound cool, like spider webs, versus how much of this is like even the slightest bit medical sounding. Like are they going to use, I don't know, something for poison ivy, or like herbs. Because they're cats

JULIAN: They use a lot of herbs.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Okay, that's cool.

JULIAN: At one point I did like a full before the little-- they issued like a little guide to the clans book that had a list of all of the herbs they used, which was released several months after I finished my exhaustive list of all of the herbs used in all of the books, which I was going to post on the forums.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: Tragedy. But most of the herbs, I think, if I remember correctly, like they mostly-- the uses like checked out for humans. Like even spider webs are like dirty, but apparently do have like some coagulant properties. Like I wouldn't use them, but.

LIZ: As a cat you would use them. Yeah, that's really interesting.

PAZ: I loved the medicine cats and I loved all the medicine cat characters like as a child. I don't know.

JULIAN: They're very good characters.

PAZ: I just consistently liked those characters.

LIZ: Well, yeah, you can have like the grumpy doctor character who has the bad bedside manner. And you can have the one who's like, you know, a religious figure because the religion's already tied into this, apparently.

PAZ: That's like Jayfeather.

LIZ: Yeah? So like--

PAZ: Yeah, you get like literal like blind oracles.

LIZ: Hold on, Jay-feather,  like J dash feather, like his SoundCloud name?

PAZ: Yeah, that's what happens in that series.

LIZ: So do these cats also have like, catnip?

JULIAN: Ooh.

PAZ: I don't know. I don't know if they get cat weed.

LIZ: They should have cat weed.

JULIAN: I'm trying to remember.

PAZ: I feel like they might.

JULIAN: Hold up, we can find out.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Let me go to the wiki.

PAZ: Yes, please, please, please.

LIZ: Because if we're talking about cat herbs, we have to talk about the cat herb.

JULIAN: The Warriors wiki is exhaustively researched. It has 4250 pages.

PAZ: Holy shit.

LIZ: I truly wish we had that for like, Friends at the Table. Friends at the Table wiki is good, but a lot of it is-- the show is long. Would love to have some pages filled out some more.

JULIAN: All right, pulling up the list. There is a full list of all the medicine used. Catnip.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Fuck yes.

JULIAN: Mostly found in Twoleg gardens. Can specifically be found at the Twoleg place near ThunderClan's forest territory.

PAZ: Why does ThunderClan get all the dank herb?

JULIAN: It's the best remedy for the-- [laughter] it's the best remedy for the deadly greencough, which cats can catch in the season of Leafbare. Can also be used for whitecough. Can be considered dangerous in extremely high dosages, so don't go nuts.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, they do not describe anything about them getting high off of it.

PAZ: Cowards.

LIZ: You can talk about balls but you can't talk about weed.

JULIAN: You have to give the weed to the kits though if they get sick.

PAZ: Listen, if I was the other clans, I'd be going into ThunderClan territory to get all that catnip, frankly.

LIZ: They should, if they can't, if they're not going to do agriculture, which is fine, they could be trading. Like oh, here's some locally sourced, seasonal, gathered cat weed. And we will trade it to you for some fish.

JULIAN: Right?

PAZ: I feel like maybe they do trade and at some point. I mean, like they haven't--

JULIAN: Maybe.

PAZ: Like this hasn't come up yet, but they do have like big cat conferences together. And they're like, what's the news?

LIZ: Cat con.

PAZ: Yeah, cat con.

JULIAN: Okay, one thing that I did discover on the wiki that I do love is that all of the footnotes for all of these things say "revealed in" and then the name of the book and the page.

PAZ: These books are actually prophetic texts gifted to us by Erin Hunter, who knows the truth.

JULIAN: Thanks Erin Hunter, all eight of her.

LIZ: I don't know. How close of an eye are you keeping on your cats? How do you know they're not gonna be warriors?

PAZ: Cause they got their balls cut off. They can't be.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's true. Chickpea can never be a warrior.

LIZ: Okay, since we're talking about this is that-- at no point, do they never meet like a neutered cat who's just like cool and fine?

PAZ: They definitely meet other like quote unquote "kittypets." But I think a lot of them were like cool barn cats so they probably do still have their balls. I don't know.

LIZ: I don't know. I've met your cats. They seem like pretty rowdy when they want to be.

PAZ: Kip catches and kills mice quite frequently.

LIZ: You don't need your balls to kill mice.

PAZ: The discrimination in this society based purely on balls is very-- that's a lot.

LIZ: There is a deez nuts joke somewhere in here. But I don't know what it is.

JULIAN: Yeah, unfortunately there is no wiki page for the Cutter. So I don't know if it becomes as important a plot point later.

LIZ: Wait, is the mortal enemy of all cats just one vet, like in the neighborhood?

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Cause these are fairly local clans. Is the enemy just like one vet? His name is just like--

PAZ: The picture.

JULIAN: Wait.

PAZ: So Julian linked this page. And the thumbnail is just a woman giving a thumbs up like.

JULIAN: Hold up, let me show you the page for-- let me show you the page for dog.

PAZ: Oh, please.

[cackling]

JULIAN: It's someone's like little like greyhound or whippet sitting in a dog bed next to the first Warriors book. Like this is clearly one of the wiki editors' actual real dog.

PAZ: Okay wait.

LIZ: This wiki is art.

PAZ: Henry the cat who got his balls cut off does have a page.

JULIAN: I looked to see if there was anything specifically about the Cutter, but it's just like Henry got his balls caught off and then he sucked.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Wouldn't it be amazing if like Henry came back at the end of this series, and he was like, really cool and, and could, I don't know, get them cat weed or something?

PAZ: I'm sure someone wrote that. I don't know.

JULIAN: Stoner Henry.

PAZ: He's living apparently.

LIZ: Good for him.

PAZ: See? Good for him.

LIZ: He's having a wonderful life. He doesn't have to worry about like ticks or coyotes.

PAZ: Oh, oh--

JULIAN: He'll never get heartworms.

PAZ: Okay, I went to the kittypet page. Here's another mention of the Cutter. "I know all about being a kittypet and it's not as easy as you think. You only eat when the Twolegs give you food. You only go in and out when the Twoleg says you can. Is that what you really want? And then there's the Cutter." Macgyver. Macgyver says this.

LIZ: It's just the one vet who runs like the clinic. It's just like, Dr. Somebody.

PAZ: I need to stop clicking on this wiki.

JULIAN: It will really drag you down into a hole. I unfortunately have looked it up. There are only two works about Henry the kittypet.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: On the entirety of AO3.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Tragic.

PAZ: Hold on, there's like a new kittypet slur just dropped. They're known as everkits.

LIZ: This is so weird.

JULIAN: Jesus.

LIZ: Why would you need to expand on this?

JULIAN: Yeah, and in both of these fics, Henry doesn't get any character development.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No. We're putting out a call, please.

JULIAN: Justice for Henry.

LIZ: Justice for Henry, who was apparently just like a big nice cat. If we met I'd be a friend.

JULIAN: Just a sweet guy. Just a pal.

LIZ: He's a little sleepy. So what? He's old. Do old cats that--

PAZ: Oh my god. Holy shit.

LIZ: --don't have their balls cut off not get sleepy? Yeah?

PAZ: Kittypets go nowhere when they die.

JULIAN: What the fuck?

PAZ: Although they may still appear as spirits and potentially be visited.

LIZ: What the fuck? So the biological essentialism extends into the afterlife.

PAZ: The soul is stored in the balls.

LIZ: That's an episode title, thank you.

JULIAN: Yeah, there we go. You're telling me that if you get your balls stole, you can't go to heaven?

LIZ: Oh my god, Henry's gonna go to cat hell.

JULIAN: Oh, no, he won't go to hell because that also exists.

PAZ: Oh my, I don't remember that.

LIZ: So cat purgatory?

PAZ: No, they just go nowhere.

LIZ: Cat limbo?

JULIAN: Paz, it's the Place of No Stars.

PAZ: Oh, okay. I remember that name.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: That's so sad.

PAZ: Oh my-- this is just like the bad like racism allegory in Harry Potter.

LIZ: Wait, wait. Also, since like getting your balls cut off-- I couldn't remember the actual name that we, you know, humans call it.

JULIAN: Neutering.

LIZ: Right, neutering. Neutering for cats is not like a choice that a cat consciously makes. So within the logic of the story, even though they are, to the other cats, victims, they can't go to cat heaven.

PAZ: I mean, I guess that's-- I don't know. I could be wrong about this in Christianity, but like don't you have to get bap-- don't you have to actively get baptized and not go to hell? It's like that. It's like it's your fault if you got your balls cut off.

JULIAN: Yeah, I mean, if you--

PAZ: Should have been more proactive.

JULIAN: If you don't get baptized, you do go to limbo.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: But you can I think maybe work your way up to heaven? I should be clearer on this.

PAZ: Well.

LIZ: I'm the farthest removed person from this. I don't know.

PAZ: Well, no such grace for cats who got their balls cut off.

LIZ: Henry.

JULIAN: It also kind of makes sense because like Starclan is not-- Starclan is like very culturally specific. It's like these cats' ancestors. So like the kittypets probably wouldn't want to hang out with them. They would probably be racist towards.

LIZ: Is there like bloodline purity bullshitt in this?

PAZ: Yeah, I just copy pasted something. Many Clanborn cats do not trust cats with kittypet blood. There's also like a lot of drama about like interclan relationships.

JULIAN: Oh God, the interclan relationships are so much. Yeah.

LIZ: Wait, before we get into that, I want to draw our attention to one of these names that you've copy pasted, which is Berrynose, which is a perfect name.

PAZ: I love that.

LIZ: That's very cute.

JULIAN: It's a very cute name.

LIZ: Yeah. Henry is a great name for cat. I love cats that they're just like...

PAZ: That's just a guy.

LIZ: Yeah, that's just a guy.

JULIAN: It's like Oliver. Just a human name.

PAZ: That's just a man. I love Henry and I defend Henry to my dying breath.

JULIAN: I want to give Henry some pets.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I don't want to pet any of these feral cats. They'll take my hand off.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No, no. What were we talking about-- oh, the interclan drama.

JULIAN: The interclan politics. Yeah, there's a lot of like, just you know, they have to enforce the borders because if another Clan comes and steals their prey, that'll be bad.

PAZ: Cat nationalism.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: No, I guess like real cats have like territory, but it's probably not--

PAZ: That's true.

LIZ: --quite so like bordered

PAZ: I'm not a like cat behavior expert. I don't know.

JULIAN: I am also not a cat behavior expert, but I don't think they're--

PAZ: They're not patrolling.

JULIAN: --having pitched battles every two months.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No, no.

LIZ: Is there like clan intermarriage? What if two cats fall in love?

PAZ: It's always like a Romeo and Juliet situation.

LIZ: Exactly.

JULIAN: Mm-hmm. It's a scandal.

LIZ: Okay, also is there cat Hamlet in this? I feel like that would work very well.

PAZ: I feel like there is.

LIZ: I mean, the murder mystery--

JULIAN: There are ghosts.

PAZ: Yeah, there are ghosts.

LIZ: Who are of course the kitty cat-- kittypets because they got their balls. And they can't ascend to heaven or hell.

PAZ: No, I think all cats can be ghosts. I don't know.

JULIAN: There's also-- because like the medicine cats like sometimes see visions like, from specific cats who have died.

PAZ: They're like in StarClan, but they come back as ghosts.

JULIAN: They can come back and talk to you.

PAZ: A lot.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: A lot to take in, I know.

JULIAN: There's a lot to unpack here.

LIZ: Like, I can see how this is supposed to be its own, like, cat universe with its own like laws, culture, and so on. But also, it's very much like, this is probably a Christian person wrote it, right? I don't know anything about the author.

PAZ: Oh, we haven't mentioned this.

JULIAN: Oh, we gotta get into Erin Hunter.

PAZ: Erin Hunter is in fact, three people. I don't know if there's more people now.

LIZ: Oh my god. You told me this before but

JULIAN: I think Erin Hunter might rotate.

LIZ: Fucks me up every time.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm not sure like how they write it. Like if it's all collaborative, or if like one author does one book but.

JULIAN: Seven people.

LIZ: Oh my God.

PAZ: Oh, my God, I swear was only three people when I--

LIZ: This is just like Nancy Drew.

JULIAN: It started out as three people.

PAZ: That's insane.

LIZ: This could be--

JULIAN: Katie Carrie and Cherith Baldry took turns writing it. And Vicki Holmes used to coordinate, but I assume some of these other people have switched in. Oh, a lot of them are British. They are in fact all British, I think.

PAZ: So these cats do have Cockney accents.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: Good to know. The first Erin. I'm on the Who is Erin-- the Other Erins.

LIZ: It's like a collective pen name, right?

JULIAN: Yeah. Cause--

PAZ: Oh my god. The first Erin says, "I'm more of a dog person."

JULIAN: Excuse me?

LIZ: What the fuck.

PAZ: This is scandalous. Holy shit.

LIZ: This shakes the ground of the cat religion, I think.

PAZ: The second Erin has a very nice picture with her cat. So that's acceptable.

LIZ: That's a wonderful cat.

JULIAN: Yeah, the wiki has the list of all of the current and former Erins.

PAZ: This is so funny,

JULIAN: Seven people.

LIZ: Now that we're actually talking about these seven authors, and also because we talked about, I guess, the politics in Warrior Cats about the domestication of cats before.

PAZ: Uh huh.

LIZ: It's probably just a lot of, because this is a fantasy story about cats, we gotta spice it up and give them their own points of view, as cats probably, on being domesticated for a kids series maybe? Or also, it doesn't matter and we don't have to talk about it. I don't know. I'm just reeling from--

PAZ: I mean, I think I think it's very interesting to consider. I also think it's interesting that they're British, like I was saying, because I do think that in the UK it's like more common to have cats roam around outside like, even to this day.

JULIAN: I think so too.

PAZ: I could be wrong. Sorry, any British listeners?

LIZ: Are there coyotes in England or whatever?

PAZ: No, I think that's part of it is like there's less like predators who would like eat the cat. There's no coyotes.

LIZ: There's fucking coyotes here in good old California.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think it's just you-- the only things you really have to worry about are like cars and the occasional hawk.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Do they fight a badger at some point or am I mixing up my Redwall?

PAZ: I definitely remember a badger, I swear.

LIZ: Badgers show up so much in these kinds of like books. There's definitely badgers in the owl books. I feel like there's probably badgers in Redwall, which was not my bag but, you know.

JULIAN: I definitely expected there to be more badgers like out in the world based on how much they figured into like this kind of book.

LIZ: Yeah. They're always like oh, it's the tough old badger who's like a blacksmith or makes armor or something.

PAZ: Badgers aren't sentient in this universe, though, so. Just so you know.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Or maybe they are. I don't know.

LIZ: What is the sentience based on, or is it just like we can't speak their language?

PAZ: Who knows?

JULIAN: I mean also like they can understand dogs or like talk to dogs, but it's like very rudimentary. Like the dog speech that they hear is like, "pack, pack. Kill, kill." It is not like...

PAZ: Beautiful.

LIZ: Do you think the cats to the dogs sound just like, "meow. Fish. Sleepy. Sit on keyboard."

PAZ: Not these cats. These cats want blood.

LIZ: "Kill, maim."

PAZ: "Violence." Okay, well, is there-- do we have anything else to say about the reading so far?

JULIAN: I think we've mostly covered the points that I wanted to make sure we hit.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, what we already established Bluestar is girlboss so don't need to go into any of that anymore.

JULIAN: Yep.

PAZ: I am excited to keep reading because I really don't remember anything is what I will say.

JULIAN: Me too. Yeah.

LIZ: Me three.

JULIAN: I'm excited to continue to read these books and see how much weirder they get.

PAZ: Absolutely, because they do get weird.

LIZ: It's already pretty weird. So I'm excited for that.

PAZ: Liz, do we want to get you assigned a Clan?

JULIAN: Oh, Liz's quiz. Yes.

PAZ: I think we should use this random fanmade one.

LIZ: We don't want to take the official one?

PAZ: No, cause it has that-- it has SkyClan. Who the fuck are they? We don't care about SkyClan.

LIZ: Well, how do you know I'm gonna get SkyClan?

JULIAN: That's true. Liz might not get SkyClan.

LIZ: That's an assumption on your part.

PAZ: If you want to. I think this quiz is funnier

JULIAN: The fan quiz is really incredible.

LIZ: Do you want me to read any, or should I just take it in silence?

PAZ: I'll read and you pick your answers, how does that sound?

LIZ: Alright, you're gonna do the clicking then.

PAZ: Okay. Question one. "You're hunting. What do you catch? Nothing. Hunting? Fish. Mice, voles, etc. Rabbits, maybe a mouse or two. Frogs, mice, really anything I stumble across."

LIZ: I think fish because that sounds tasty to me.

PAZ: "Your friend is in love with a cat from another clan. You tell him if he doesn't stop seeing that cat you will tell the leader. Like I care. I wouldn't do anything, love is love. Tell the leader." That's just the same as the first one.

LIZ: Why are so many of these about being fucking snitches?

PAZ: It is a militarized state.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Anyway, "talk to the cat your friend loves and convince them to stop seeing your friend. Keep the secret for your friend."

LIZ: Obviously, love is love between any cats.

PAZ: I see no difference. "Your friend is in love with you but you don't like him [laughs] you don't like him like that. What do you do? Stop being friends. Tell him you don't like him but try to stay friends. Flat out tell him you don't like them. Tell them that you already like someone but help them find the mate. Freak out and say you like them back even though you know you don't."

LIZ: No.

PAZ: "Try and change the subject."

LIZ: You know what, change the subject.

JULIAN: I picked freak out.

PAZ: "You have to choose between saving your kits, an elder, you friend, you friend, or the leader. Who do you choose? None of them, I don't need them. I would try to save them all. I would save my mate, I couldn't live without them. I would save my leader, the clan needs them. My friend, he's always been there for me. My kits, my mate would want the best for them."

LIZ: Is this the trolley problem?

PAZ: Well, no, you just have to pick one. Well, I guess everyone else gets killed. So yes.

LIZ: Hmm. Wasn't there one of the options all of them? Can I pick all of them?

PAZ: Yeah, "I would try to save them all." Okay.

LIZ: Yeah, I'm a very powerful cat.

PAZ: Okay, good to know. "You're face to face in battle with your sister who joined another clan. You leave the fight, I don't care anymore. Run away, I could never hurt anyone let alone my family. Scare her off, I don't want to hurt her but I'm loyal to my clan. Try to avoid her in battle, I don't want to fight my family." Some of these really just overlap, huh? Yeah.

"Try not to fight her but if she leaps, I won't hesitate."

LIZ: Is there one where it's just like, it's on sight?

PAZ: That's that one, "I won't hesitate."

LIZ: No, it says "try to avoid her" still. No. What if these fictional cats are having--

PAZ: The last one is "attack. She left the clan. It was her choice."

LIZ: I'm gonna say attack because I'm gonna say my fictional cat sister and I have a terrible dramatic relationship.

PAZ: Wow. Damn.

LIZ: Yep. We're going for tragedy here.

JULIAN: Incredible.

Unknown Speaker

"Clan or kin? Clan, kin, or myself."

LIZ: Um, well, it's not kin because I just said I would kill my sister on sight if she was a cat and I was a cat. Probably not my-- you know, I tried to save the entire cat clan before. It's gonna be myself. Some me time.

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: You're a--

PAZ: Did a little 180.

LIZ: Yeah, you don't know what to expect.

JULIAN: I was going to say we're going for found family here but no.

LIZ: No. Maybe I failed when I tried to save everyone and now I'm taking some time to reflect.

PAZ: This is a very tragic story arc. "Your leader makes you deputy. You you proudly stare at your clan. You try your best to be a good deputy. Freak out, refuse the offer. Smile at your clan as your mother's eyes gleam proud of you, that was all you cared about. Protect you clan with your heart."

LIZ: Mother's eyes, please.

PAZ: "Your mother's eyes gleam proud of you, that was all that you cared about?"

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: That one? Okay. "Your friend from another clan is stealing your prey. You you ignore them, they're you friend. You take your prey back. You ask them why they're doing this and get your prey back. You scare them off not hurting them. You chase them off then report them to your leader."

LIZ: [gasps] No.

PAZ: "Attack them, just because we're friends doesn't mean I'll let him steal my prey.

LIZ: Wait, is that it? Is there no option to share?

PAZ: No, no sharing.

JULIAN: Uh, you could ignore them.

LIZ: I'll do--

JULIAN: That would share them.

LIZ: I'll ignore them.

JULIAN: That would be the closest you can get.

LIZ: I can't not-- I'm a fisher as we've established. I can just do it again.

PAZ: (muffled, laughing) This next question.

LIZ: Yeah?

JULIAN: Can I read it?

PAZ: Yes, please read it. Please read it.

JULIAN: "What cat is your mate? Voleheart, a brown tabby she cat with amber eyes, the sweetest cat you ever met. Scarpaw, a black tom with yellow eyes."

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: "A misunderstood cat."

LIZ: No, this is not my--

JULIAN: "Goldenmoon, a ginger she cat with light green eyes, the prettiest cat you ever seen. Barknose, a solid brown tom with blue eyes, you have knew him all your life. Rainpaw, a bluish gray she cat with dark blue eyes, a good fighter. I don't want a mate."

LIZ: Okay, I'm crossing off all of the toms because clearly this is a lesbian cat. I already forgot the names of the other ones. I'm gonna go--

JULIAN: You get sweet, pretty and good fighter.

LIZ: I will go with good fighter.

JULIAN: Are your choices. That's Rainpaw.

PAZ: Congrats.

LIZ: Yeah, we'll have a beautiful summer wedding full of fish.

PAZ: I want you to choose this next answer based solely off name. "What's your favorite cat out of these? Onestar? Tigerstar? Blackstar? Firestar? Stonefur? I can't choose."

LIZ: Seeing so many stars makes it feel kind of repetitive. I'm gonna go for Stonefur because that's two very conflicting textures.

PAZ: Okay. You like the intrigue?

LIZ: Yeah, the complexity, the figurative language implication.

PAZ: Let's see what what Clan you're in. RiverClan.

It's because I'm a fisher.

"You're a RiverClan cat. You most likely smart and witty."

LIZ: Most likely.

PAZ: Most likely. "You always keep your eye on the prize and won't take no for an answer. You like the summer and relaxing in the pool. You're very suspicious of new people and only trust someone you are close to."

LIZ: This is an interesting summary because I clearly did take no for an answer when my friend stole my fish and I didn't get to have it. And I guess it's fine with me. No, that's it. We've built the character.

PAZ: You could have been a kitty pet or a loner.

LIZ: Wow. Well, I won't be a loner because this cat got married, obviously.

PAZ: Yeah, congrats on your marriage.

LIZ: Thank you.

PAZ: Julian, did you take this quiz?

JULIAN: What did you get, Paz? Oh, I did. Don't worry.

PAZ: What's your result?

JULIAN: I got ShadowClan.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Mysterious.

JULIAN: Yep, I'm "most likely funny and a mystery to most. I'm very secretive and blunt and I tend to hurt people without knowing. I know my rights and wrongs but my anger always gets me in trouble."

PAZ: Ooh, bad boy.

JULIAN: I was assigned evil at birth.

PAZ: I forgot to take this quiz before the show, but I took the official quiz and another quiz from HarperCollins and they both gave me SkyClan. But I don't really know anything about so um, that's great.

LIZ: Wait, you said they were exiles.

PAZ: They can jump really high apparently.

LIZ: Big jumper and exiled right?

PAZ: Yeah, exiled-- I know they lived in a gorge. I think I liked them in that book they were in a gorge but I don't know anything about them.

LIZ: You should take the one we took now and we can reveal it next time.

PAZ: Yeah, I'll report back.

JULIAN: Yes, perfect.

PAZ: Well, I think that wraps up this session everything we had to say. We got our clans assigned.

LIZ: Talked about the balls.

JULIAN: We talked about the balls. We talked about the politics.

PAZ: Yeah. And I'm very curious to see if both of those are reoccurring.

LIZ: Balls and politics?

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Okay.

JULIAN: Ballotics.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, I didn't pick out what we're reading for next time but it'll probably be another chunk of chapters. Do we need like a cool sign off? I don't have a cool sign off.

LIZ: Is there like a Warrior Cats saying?

PAZ: Wait, let me google Warrior Cats sayings.

LIZ: Wait, can you-- can you two cat owners just get your cats to like meow into the mic and we can just have that at the end.

PAZ: Mm, no. Okay, a Warrior Cats guide. Exclamations, phrases and insults.

LIZ: I feel like this could also be a section next time.

PAZ: Oh yeah. May StarClan light your path. I remember that one. Classic.

LIZ: Unless you've got your balls cut off.

PAZ: Yeah, okay, may StarClan light your path unless you don't have balls, then fuck you. Bye, everyone.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

[zzzoloft]

Ink Reflux

Do you ever feel like you must act a certain way? Maybe you think about how you’re acting sometimes, and realize you do it most of the day. “They” say it’s important to keep plans when you’re feeling bad. I feel as though I’m speaking one sentence while thinking another. Small-talking while I choke down a thick, gelatinous black ink that won’t stop rising up my throat. Another gross bodily function to pretend isn’t happening. Doesn’t it correlate with our words? We hide our humanity to make ourselves tolerable to other humans. Smile when I’m frowning. “Good, how are you?” when I’m thinking death might be easier than telling my loved ones to just give up on me. Sometimes it feels the greatest apology would be to get rid of myself. I feel poison, but some people still want to keep consuming me. Does alcohol feel sad when you binge on it and then try to cheat your way out of a hangover? I tell you I’m bad, you say I’m good and fun. But when it’s time to pay my toll you just accept it and forget it next time you decide to associate with me. 

Eventually most people get better. They distance themselves or leave. They pick the parts of me they want to keep. The part of me that congratulates them or lifts them up or tells them jokes. The part of me that feels inferior and will always look at them as something greater unless they’re currently pissing me off. Because I really do want you all to feel empowered to live your lives authentically. With or without me. They may keep the parts of me that serve as a means to make them feel better about their appearance, career, their level of knowledge, their desirability, their popularity or their lack of friends. And when I write shit like this, their better judgment. Maybe they keep me around to give a fuck, so they can say things to see a look of pain flash over my face before I say something supportive. So they can do things and know that it hits my heart like a knife. And when I care it’s really there. I try to pull it out of me but I wake up with a shortness of breath and a tightness in my chest when I lose someone. I frantically apologize and try to make it better. I ruin it again. Remember that scene in Edward Scissorhands where he saves the kid from getting hit by a car but then frantically tears him up with his hands trying to comfort him? I do sometimes feel like fleeing back to my old black castle, far from the colorful cookie-cutter town. Because the damage is more important than the intention. It’s tangible. And you can see the pattern.

I’ve ruined friendships since I was a kid. My mom once yelled at me for playing in her room with our neighbors. She said we could never do that again. I told my neighbors we couldn’t be friends. Was I evil at 7? I like to think I just didn’t know better, but maybe I already had a knack for making things worse. Keeping things black or white because I couldn’t process grey, couldn’t emotionally handle it. Maybe in my mind, setting boundaries was the same as being useless as a friend.

My next best friend was spending the night, and started playing with my sister and I felt excluded. She and my sister were staying up playing NeoPets into the night and I wanted to go to sleep on the foldout couch with my friend and make weird faces in the dark and talk about random stuff. My friend wanted to stay up with my sister. I woke up my mom and told her, and my mom yelled at them. I was embarrassed but grateful my mom stood up for me, or so I thought. That friend never came over again. This was the Summer before 6th grade. My mom helped me make my friend an apology gift. A little paper box that had once held my mom’s business cards, I cut up pictures of me and my friend and glued them around the box. My mom gave me a necklace with a gold-dipped seashell on the end. My mom didn’t like jewelry much, and my friend seemed to like the beach. Her mom took us there a few times, at least. I’m sure I packed in a long apology note written in a sparkly Jelly Roll pen. I had a new acquaintance deliver the gift to my old best friend since they were in a class together. My new acquaintance said that my friend made a scene and threw it all away in front of everyone. I remember walking up to my old friend at some point either before or after this at middle school. I was alone and she had a new friend on each side. The message was clear. I wasn’t going to fit the mold of the new friend group she had in mind.  

As a teen I was used by friends. A house where there were no rules and adults never checked on us. A ride to a gas station or drug dealer’s house if “we” needed it. A friend to make fun of and exclude when you weren’t feeling as popular or desirable as you wanted to. A friend whose stepdad had drugs to sell them. Those “friends” always needed to be high or have access to dick to have a good time. My company was never enough. I cut off contact with Friend B when Friend A told me that friend B molested her own nephew when Friend A was spending the night. I kept Friend A around until my mid-twenties when she betrayed me for about the 20th time and I realized, I was her life-line and she was the fucking disaster waiting to strike any time I built some semblance of a life. Who knew if what she said about Friend B was even true. 

As I got older I found some friends that seemed to actually have things in common with me. They were funny and creative and loved music the way that I did. I lived my life in a free-love type way back then and made myself more enemies. The mirage of fitting in was just that, an illusion. There never was a real place for me. I was always too sad, too fat, too slutty. I’m sure there’s more I did wrong. I felt aloof. I felt hungry. I felt seen for the first time in so many ways. I tried to take it all in. I hurt people in my ambitions for love and attention. 

I spent the next 5 years or so weaving in and out of old close friendships and chasing men who mostly didn’t want me. I would meet people I admired and be way too scared to approach them or be near them. They were too smart, too composed, always too “something”. 

I learned that people didn’t like the artistic and reckless version of me. I became too ashamed to ever talk about my belief in myself again.  That was for perfectly talented people who deserved it. Or, that was for naive people. That was for people who spend their life dreaming and amounting to nothing. I “got my shit together”. I learned to hide things. I changed my goals to boring and safe. 

My next group of friends was inherited and I realized the first thing people wanted to know was what I went to school for and where, or what advanced literature did I want to discuss over craft beers? I spent about a year or two shutting the fuck up in case somebody found out how dumb and uneducated I was/am. Slowly I discovered there were a few people in the group who didn’t care or accidentally overlooked my shortcomings, liked artsy things and dancing and getting drunk and embarrassing. These are my favorites. 

I still feel there’s a part of me that isn’t home anywhere. A part of me that comes out in the worst ways at the worst times. I feel like flashes of my worst thoughts, the ones that scare me, are the first I let out at people when I lose control. I don’t try too hard to justify them because that could reveal even more of my struggles or flaws. I just pretend they never happened. People want to read into the way you explain things or don’t. Some people just accept you either way, knowing that the ghouls in your mind get along with some of theirs. Most people won’t say it out loud or validate you about that, they’ll share a few years later that they related to that thing you posted. That thing that you thought nobody read and since writing is the way you try to express yourself, made you feel rejected and lonely again. I guess I hoped that if I shared only neutral or positive thoughts with people that I would suddenly be likable or popular. But it remains that I usually have 2-3 people willing to tolerate my shit, or maybe they really do understand.

It’s taken me until 30 to realize I can’t swing back into a special place with people of the past. It might feel like it for a day or a week. Other people move on. I can’t expect that I can just suddenly be important and vulnerable with old friends. This took far too long to click with me, I was always expecting more from people than I deserved. It was more painful not seeing that there was something between enemies and best friends, and wondering why I couldn’t get the latter to click into place like it used to. It’s liberating to know we can just exist in mutual support and peace. 

I see those quotes that say the beautiful souls are the ones that are broken and choose to be soft instead. I became bitter and hard. Those quotes make me feel fucking useless. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #391

“if you wanna soar with vultures, you’ll have to swallow crow”

Have you ever been to Australia? No. I want to visit a friend there, but honestly, Australia scares me too much lmao. That place is like, the Hard mode in life. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My sister's husband just had his. Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. No. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? My best fren. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Haha, yeah... I caused a few scratches on Ozzy's Black Rain, as well as one more of his, where the album name is surprisingly evading me. What’s your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. What’s your favorite fast food meal? Burgers or chicken tenders are usually my go-to, depending on the place. Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? The Cheesecake Factory. @_@ Lamb chops or pork chops? I've actually never tried lamb chops before, but I've always thought they look yummy. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, probably. It's very motivating. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yeah, I like 'em. They're one of Dad's faves. What size is your bed? Queen. What is the first meal you remember eating? Hell if I know. What was the first movie you ever saw? I also don't remember. What percentile of your class were you in? The top. Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? I probably could, but I'm not going to. What forms of birth control have you used? The pill and also just not having a sex life lmao. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? A sponge. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? I have zero clue what's in the top twenty. Ever punched a wall? No. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant in the house. My fingers. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? I've never been pulled over. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? Probably this laptop. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? My snake. Or my most recent tattoo, idr. What is your favorite cover song? I think Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" is unbeatable as a cover. Well, or Johnny Cash's "Hurt." Both SLAUGHTER the originals. Did you ever drop out of school? College, three times. Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? No. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? Considering the location, having a pilonidal cyst drained by pushing on it. Jesus FUCKING Christ it hurt so goddamn bad. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don’t have a job. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Zero, generally. What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? The Holocaust. What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? *shrug* I don't watch the news. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Putting aside my illogical fear of whale sharks, probably giant squid. Like no thank u. What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? Teleportation. Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. There are WAY too many people in the world for that. Plus, you're talking to a person who has been in love with two different individuals, and both were perfectly valid feelings. Why are you best friends with your best friend? She's just simply amazing. Strong, funny, intelligent, caring, supportive, loyal... She's, again, amazing. Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? Realistically, no. But it's nice to imagine. Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? *shrug* It would depend on what I wanted to eat. What do you think of when you look at the stars? Just the vastness of everything, and I wonder what it's like up there in outer space. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Just... feel like I did something. What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Maybe Belle? To be totally honest, I don't really remember the details of most of their personalities. What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Love. Do you use any acne medication? Not anymore. Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? I took Latin for one semester, and it was hard as FUCK. I quickly changed to German next semester and did that for all four available classes. Do you still have a landline phone in your home? No. Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? I go to the TMS therapy office every weekday, and I might ride with my mom to pick up groceries or something. How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? Never anymore because my mic doesn't work on this laptop, so there's no reason to. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? Neither, actually. What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Mom bought a nice bottle of some pink lemonade Smirnoff the other day for us to try, but she left it at my sister's. ;-; It looked soooo good. Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? Yeah. Mom got some Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese's Puffs. What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? Excluding myself, I wanna say five. Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No. Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I've had Venus forrrr... I want to say four years, and Roman for two, I think. What's your favourite kind of cheese? American. Have you danced in the rain? No. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I haven't worn jeans in many years. Do you enjoy Mario games? Not especially. Mario Kart is fun, though. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Yes. That shit hurts. Who was last to cook for you? My mom. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? YES!!!!! You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Freeze, physically and mentally. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to say no. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty of times. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because she always feels unwanted at Ashley's house. It wasn't unexpected, honestly. She cries a lot in the car when she leaves my sister's house, honestly. It's heartbreaking. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. :/ Are you more of a dog or cat person? I'm a cat person. That only becomes more apparent with time, really. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I probably have, given I've had nightmares of strangling someone, punching and slapping people... all kinds of stuff. My nightmares are so fucking violent and I hate it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My dog, as well as my younger sister's old pup. And Mom's. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Did your grandparents teach you anything? To not be horrendously old-fashioned and to never have kids, yes. Congrats, Grandma, I took both things to heart. Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? No. Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? Not massively, no. I like Deadpool (yeah, yeah, antihero, whatever) and Spider-Man. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yes to both. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? I don't think so. Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Yes, I LOVED them. Sometimes I'm still tempted to make a new account, I shit you not, lol. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy technician or some title like that for a long time. Is there anything unusual about your house? I don't think so? How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you listen to Rise Against? I only know "Re-education (Through Labor)," but I LOVE that song. When was the last time you congratulated someone? It was probably something on Facebook, but idr. Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Go no, I could never. How old were you when you got your ears pierced? I don't remember my age, but old enough where I did it of my own volition. Do you snore when you sleep? No. Surprising for someone with sleep apnea as horrendous as mine. What was the last type of burger you ate? I had a McDouble from McDonald's a few nights ago.

[toast-connoisseur]

All the "weird asks"

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? -I’m actually obsessed with coffee mugs and tea cups even though I don’t drink coffee nor tea.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? -Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? -Cotton Candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? -It’s funny because I actually found some of my old report cards recently... they range from “a pleasure to have in class!” to “danger of failing the course” even though my grade for both of those would be an “A” ?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? -The soda from a bottle from Mexico hits completely different.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? -Personally, I don’t dress like any of those but I am attracted to tomboys.

7. earbuds or headphones? -Depends. Mostly, earbuds.

8. movies or tv shows? -Movies.

9. favorite smell in the summer? -All the seasonal smells from the stores!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? -Softball or tennis.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? -One slice of toast and one egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? -I made my friend a playlist called “Emo Turn Up” and I like that one a lot.

13. lanyard or key ring? -Key ring, but I have a lanyard because I tend to leave my purse in the car and that way I can just carry my keys around my neck. Also, my lanyard is Nightmare Before Christmas themed, so she’s beautiful.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? -Lollipops, actually lol

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? -Rosemary’s Baby. Although, I kind of got to pick the book for my assignment.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? -One leg is usually elevated while the other has my foot flat on the ground.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? -My Chuck Taylor’s!

18. ideal weather? -I have two technically. I love blue skies with a slight breeze but I also love windy rainy weather.

19. sleeping position? -On my side, on leg curled up and the other straight (kind of like how I sit) while I hold a pillow to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? -Notebook and post its!

21. obsession from childhood? -Stickers!! Although I never actually stuck them anywhere except on other papers or just left them on their page. I collected them so I didn’t like them getting ugly.

22. role model? -Dita Von Teese!

23. strange habits? -I guess if it’s habit, I probably wouldn’t consider it strange. I do write everything down. Like, everything. I have a list of every movie I’ve ever watched (I had to stop updating it because it was giving me anxiety due to how many movies I watch), I make post it notes that I eventually compile into notebook pages. Any information I never want to lose gets written down somewhere.

24. favorite crystal? Aventurine

25. first song you remember hearing? -It would’ve been something in Spanish. Most likely one of the many songs my mom used to sing to me.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? -Although I rarely get to do it: sitting in the sun/going to the beach or a pool. If it’s warm with a breeze I can lay outside for quite some time.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? -Watch movies on the couch with a blanket over me.

28. five songs to describe you? -Brown Eyed Girl (the original is nice but I love the Reel Big Fish version), Because I’m Awesome (The Dollyrots), Hot Mess (Cobra Starship), I’m Just a Kid (even though I’m almost 25. Simple Plan), Independent (Webbie)

29. best way to bond with you? -Be open and honest. I love talking about books, movies, and music but talk to me about conspiracy theories and ghost stories and you’ll have my heart. I love when people have stories revolving around their culture. I’m Mexican and we have lots of myths and stories to swap so it’s awesome.

30. places that you find sacred? -A person’s bedroom can be sacred. Call me silly but Disneyland is kind of sacred to me. It hold so many wonderful memories. I only like to share certain spots with certain people sometimes.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? -Probably whatever outfit I have on at the moment. I don’t really plan to kick anyone’s ass let alone want to plan a whole outfit for it. I assume leggings and a t shirt will do?

32. top five favorite vines? -omg I miss vine! I was actually going through vines on YouTube recently... The “Miss Keisha” vine always kills me, any vine with Sarah Baska, anything that Zane and Heath ever made, Jay Versace has really funny vines too, and I still quote the “welcome to Chilis” vine constantly. Picking 5 is way too hard.

33. most used phrase in your phone? -“it be like that sometimes” or “yaaaaaaas”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? -The Red Robin commercial and the O’Riley Auto Parts one play in my head on loop at the worst times.

35. average time you fall asleep? -I lay down around 9ish but don’t actually fall asleep until 10PM

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? -That’s way too hard to remember. Probably something I would consider really stupid now.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? -Depends on how long I’ll be away/how many clothes I’ll need. Usually, a suitcase.

38. lemonade or tea? -Lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? -omg why would you make me pick?! Lemon meringue pie though...

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? -I went to a public high school in LA. We mostly had riots and fights and I stayed away from all of that.

41. last person you texted? -Jayla. I need her to wake up so I can tell her about my dream about Beyoncé.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? -Por que no los dos?! I like buying men’s jean jackets because they have pockets inside though...

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? -Depends. I tend to get cold easily so I usually start with a cardigan but I love jean jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap? -just plain ol clean??

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? -Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? -Depends on the weather but usually just shorts and a t shirt.

47. favorite type of cheese? -Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? -Grapes. Sweet and sometimes a little sour lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by? -“Let your imaginarlo run free”. I actually have it tattooed on my right bicep.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? -My friends always get me to laugh really hard. I think the hardest I’ve ever laughed was when my friend tried to say something and she completely botched the sentence so it was pure gibberish and yet I understood her? We just looked at each other and burst into laughter.

51. current stresses? -Work, school, life... the usual??

52. favorite font? -Arial

53. what is the current state of your hands? -I am typing my answers to these questions on my phone...

54. what did you learn from your first job? -I only have infinite patience for kids, not adults.

55. favorite fairy tale? -Used to be Cinderella, but I was never really one for fairy tales tbh

56. favorite tradition? -I don’t actually have any. Never really had anyone to have traditions with.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? -2018 was an entire struggle, car crashes because idiot drivers crashed into mine and totaled mine (TWICE), my entire life as a whole has been a struggle tbh. Every day is one that I try my hardest to overcome.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? -I don’t really consider myself as someone with any talent, let alone four, but... A mathematician once taught me how to divide any number by five in my head, I’m pretty good at mimicking certain accents, idk of this counts as a talent but I can drink quite a bit before I actually feel anything, I can recite certain movies down to what song will play during certain scenes, and I would consider myself the ultimate Disneyland tour guide. That’s five but it’s all I can think of so if one doesn’t sound like one, we have an extra.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? -“Oh shit, here we go again...”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? -I know nothing about anime so I wouldn’t even know. I would want to make a joke about being in the ones that are essentially pornos but I’m probably wrong with that too.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? -“The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Idk if the line comes from elsewhere but I first heard it in the movie Moulin Rouge and it has stuck with me since.

62. seven characters you relate to? -Oh geez, I don’t really relate to any tbh but seven characters I like: Princess Tiana, Shane from The L Word, Theo from the Netflix version of A Haunting of Hill House, Satine from Moulin Rouge, Wall-E, Cassandra from Saved!, and The Grinch (as wonderfully played by Jim Carrey)

63. five songs that would play in your club? -Act Up (City Girls), Motivation (Normani), LGBT (Cupcakke), Alcohol (Millionaires, lol), My Type (Saweetie)

64. favorite website from your childhood? -Neopets!

65. any permanent scars? -I have one from when I stuck my hand in a garbage can because I was looking for something and wound up cutting myself on all the glass that had been thrown in. The scar is super tiny and on my pinkie lol

66. favorite flower(s)? -Roses and carnations

67. good luck charms? -I don’t have any anymore.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? -I tried sea urchin once and I swear I can still taste it.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -All leaves have symmetry (unless tampered with)

70. left or right handed? -I’m right handed but I use my left hand as dominant for a lot of stuff? It’s weird.

71. least favorite pattern? One that isn’t symmetrical.

72. worst subject? -I was once good at math and now I’m horrible.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? -Some think syrup on bacon is gross but I love when the syrup from my pancakes falls on it!

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? -10

75. when did you lose your first tooth? -I have no idea. I lost all my baby teeth early on. I’ll go with 5 or 6...

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? -Can’t go wrong with French Fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? -I recently revived the orchid my boss has on his windowsill and I’m quite proud of that.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? -I don’t drink coffee but I love sushi...

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? -Now, my driver’s license photo. I retook it recently lol

80. earth tones or jewel tones? -Jewel (with a mix of earth?)

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? -There’s a difference? Fireflies, I guess?

82. pc or console? -Console, though I love PC games.

83. writing or drawing? -I’m shit at drawing but I love to doodle. Writing is my favorite though.

84. podcasts or talk radio? -Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? -My childhood nickname is Barbie (my middle name is Barbara) so I only played with Barbies even though I only dressed them because I liked their clothes and then then threw them to the side to play other games.

85. fairy tales or mythology? -Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? -Cookies

87. your greatest fear? -Being buried alive.

88. your greatest wish? -To be truly happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? -My family/close friends.

90. luckiest mistake? -My entire life? I guess it would be taking a job in a field I knew nothing about which led me to learn about said field. I’m now somewhat successful in that field.

91. boxes or bags? -Depends on what I’m carrying but I love boxes. Bags are much easier though... I guess I’ll go with bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? -Sunlight/sunset.

93. nicknames? -Barbie, a friend in high school used to call me West Side Story because my first name is Maria, Barbz...

94. favorite season? -Fall

95. favorite app on your phone? -I like IG

96. desktop background? -Wildflowers

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? -5? My friends have changed their numbers before so I remember their old numbers only lol

98. favorite historical era? -I love the fashion of the fashion and cars of the 1940s but I would never want to go back. We’re barely making any progress towards equality as is so going back would not be an option for me.

Thanks for the questions, Anon!💞

[zippyzephy-archive]

Tag 6 Meme

Tagged by: @bob-artist​

Relationship Status: Happily dating my best friend and have been for several years. I love him and his amazing patience and terrible, terrible puns.

Pets: One tiny-yet-loud sugar glider who is, though nocturnal, apparently afraid of the dark and needs a nightlight.

Last song I listened to: No Mercy by Living Tombstone, it’s in my arting playlist and it’s really funny.

Favorite TV shows: I'm currently watching Steven Universe and Person of Interest and I like both of them. I liked Voltron Legendary Defender for the first season but the second season was. Uh. Well. It happened, I guess. White Collar was great. I really liked Gravity Falls, and Avatar: the Last Airbender, and Firefly.

First Fandom: Shaman King, ahaha, I even joined a 'guild' on Neopets for it.

Hobbies: Tabletop RPGs, I'm currently playing in two awesome alternating games of Dark Heresy (my poor Vas is probably about to take yet another one for the team and actually permanently die) and Iron Kingdoms (my Thistletongue is small, cute, and full of murder) but if I had the time I would play tabletop always forever 24/7 it is my favorite. Video games are great too, I'm so very slowly trying to finish Dragon Age: Inquisition but I am so busy I fear I will never get through the Hinterlands much less the rest of the game. Art stuff, writing stuff, reading stuff, learning how to sew, painting miniatures, most of the craftsy type things I enjoy trying out.

Books I'm currently reading: I... am only reading one book right now and I don't think I can give the title away because it isn't published (but it is magnificent omg). Books are among my favorite things and I love them and I have like four pages of should-reads but time oh dear lord. Eagerly awaiting the next Dresden Files book, and I've got to finally read the latest Dragon Lance book (or latest two years ago when I bought it) and the next Leandros Brothers book.

Tagging: No one has to if they don't wanna! @hivemindbob @che-the-pupper @kurgy @underwaterlookingupatyou @kiozilla @bigmike385