#the funniest moment of my work at a hospital was when i locked myself out of the mri room with a bowl of noodles in my hand

[yohankang]

what pisses me off every time a new medical drama drops is an influx of people complaining about how 'unrealistic' said drama is. like are you fr. this drama is a FANTASY. no one cares if it's realistic or not. if you want a realistic show, go watch a documentary. and same with legal/detective shows, like come on. do you think these silly guys follow real protocols? do you think doctors/lawyers/detectives in real life act like this??? it's supposed to be fun or mysterious or shocking - depending on a drama genre. it's supposed to be ENTERTAINING. but congrats you're the real killjoy <3

[highwaydiamonds]

Um. Excuse me. You had cancer??

Yeah... I mean I guess I really haven't discussed it much on tumblr. I have a little bit, but only in vague ways, or rarely made veiled references in tags.

SO, get a drink, get a snack, because this is a bit of a saga, and you already know I am longwinded at the best of times. I'm going to do like Vizzini said, and go back to the beginning. I hope you're ok I'm making this public Shells, it seems easier to? And I'll put this behind a cut because I really do wax on ( and on).

It's the end of August 2018 and i appear to have gotten some kind cold/respiratory infection. I'm at work the first day of it and it feels like a cold. No big deal. (Also this is all pre-COVID so no I didn't have COVID). The next day I feel really awful, so I call off work, and figure all I need to do is rest and I'll be ok. Turns out, NOPE. The next day I feel worse- now I can tell I have a bit of a fever, my appetite was basically, " eat one baby carrot and my appetite is exhausted." Finally, I get to the point that I am having trouble lying down - as in I am becoming short of breath when I try to lie flat (sorry if I am using the wrong word - lay/lie was always a grammar issue that eluded me.) So, I decide, ok, i will be sensible girl and go get medical attention. But I am stubborn and feel the ER is overreacting, so I go to urgent care. i park in the front row of urgent car parking, but by the time I reach the intake desk I have to put my head down because I am so winded and a bit lightheaded.

They take one look at me and tell me, point blank, "we're getting a squad for you to take you to the ER." I say, " what? no, I don't need that, this is not that big a deal." They counter, " you could barely walk in the door and you you are having significant trouble breathing. We don't have the ability to see you here." So, for the first time in my life I have to go via ambulance from urgent care to a free standing ER.

I get to the ER - where they decide, OK, lady, you're a mess. Let's get some chest x-rays and we're gonna slap some IV fluids and I can't even recall if they immediately put me on IV antibiotics or not. But after two hours there they informed me, " hey.... So, we think you need to go to the hospital-hospital not the freestanding ER." I tell them well you better hand me my laptop ( I'm that bitch who takes the laptop with her juuuuust in case I am stuck in the hospital. you never know.) Because i am not going to a hospital until I figure out if they're in my health plan. I do so and then for the second time in my life, all in one night because sometimes I am an over achiever i guess, I go via ambulance to the hospital.

They admitted me and over the next few/couple/ hours ( it was hard to tell) I progressively felt worse. I had trouble breathing if I didn't sit absolutely straight up, and at that point I hadn't gotten good sleep for around 60 hours or so. Me being me I started to get teary and panicky, because I was so tired and wasn't sure what to do. I called for the nurse and she came in and then within the next half hour your girl got taken down to the ICU. By the time we arrived down in the ICU I was really getting panicky. My mom died in the ICU ( different hospital but still) and I knew the fact they took me down there was no laughing matter. I started to think about, " ok is this what death is like? this isn't what i thought it was going to be - this is panicky and scary and not all white lights and peace."

The next thing I knew - it was two days later, and I woke up intubated. Did you know that you can be conscious and intubated? I did not. I'll speed things up a bit here. I spent a total of 8 days in the ICU - I had one hell of a case of pneumonia, and there were a couple of other diagnoses thrown in ( nope, not cancer. promise, we will get there.) . The nurses I had were AMAZING. I was intubated for about 6 of those 8 days. Then I got weaned off of it. Funniest moment on the ventilator: Physical therapist comes around and says, " Hey let's get you up and walking, you think you can?" I nodded and shrugged my shoulders to try and communicate, " sure, ok!" It went totally fine, but there were nursing students, residents, other doctors and who knows who else looking out of rooms and over desks at the two of us just y'know... *walking down the hall*. I gestured to the people because it was just flipping weird. I had an audience at the exact time NOBODY wants an audience and it confused the hell out of me. PT advised me, " there aren't too many times ventilated patients are ambulatory. You're a bit of a curiosity so people want to see."

Once I got out of the ICU and was put back on a regular floor, I got to meet with other doctors re those other diagnoses I mentioned ( chronic things I just have to manage) I also mentioned that it had been a really long time since I had been to a GYN and as had been noted in the ICU I spotted quite frequently ( I have never, ever in my life been regular period-wise and it just got weirder over time, but I just didn't really consider it. So I asked while they were setting me up with new practitioners ( my previous doctor had retired) too please set me top with a gynecologist.

So I'm out of the hospital by September 10th, 2018. The gyro appointment occurs i want to say by mid- to late September. I go in and meet her and she's lovely. While I'm up on the table she says, " hey let's do all the things and get a uterine biopsy!" I say, " excellent, do the things!" We agree it's likely going to be nothing but hey we're smart people and we will play it safe. Huzzah Gyno visit accomplished! (if I were a gamer I'd make some kind of ladybits achievement unlocked now, but I'm not a gamer.)

Two or so weeks go by - or however long it takes to get those test results back (some of these spans are lost in the mists of time). Dr Boyle calls me and apologizes that the test results that she was sure would be nothing... they are not nothing. Turns out, it's endometrial cancer.

At that point you could have knocked me over with a feather. Shells, I wanted my mom to be there so badly, I can't even express it. She would have understood how I felt - she'd been there with her breast cancer. But at the same time, I was glad she wasn't there? I remember how heartsick my mom was to tell Grandmommy when Mom got cancer. I didn't want my mom to have to hear that news, to worry about that. Dr Boyle advised me that she would be referring me to a good oncologist and i should hear from them in a week or two.

Thus began MRIS and PET scans and ultrasounds, and blood work etc. The oncologist diagnosed that he figured I might be stage three, but it depended on my lymph involvement. It brought back memories of when Mom was diagnosed and when she told me she was stage three. I asked my Dad later, "what does that mean?" He told me, " there are only four stages, so what do you think?" This time around I knew what it meant. So, we put me down for surgery November 9th, 2018. That's two days before my birthday - so I joked that I was getting my cancer out for my birthday - hooray! My best friend actually flew in from texas for my surgery ( my best friend is a SAINT, and I love her more than pearls and rubies.)

Best surgery story from this experience: For my total hysterectomy (uterus and ovaries go sayonara and then also two signal lymph nodes in the chain of nodes on either side of the pelvis to se if there is any lymph complication.) I had to be tilted back - so with my head down to move as many organs away from the uterus etc during the laparoscopic procedure. I knew this going in, However, when I woke up back in my hospital room I looked at Bestie and said, " I hurt in places I didn't expect to hurt. Oh wait. My shoulders hurt because they're not used to being weight bearing, but the procedure was laproscopic - so why the heck does my vagina hurt?" Bestie in one of her best moments ever says, " I know why." I replied, " wait, YOU know why MY vagina hurts?!" She said, " yep. So your surgery was supposed to take 3-3.5 hours ended up taking 5 hours instead. Your uterus was really big. The oncologist told us they need up having to cut it in half to pull it out of you." bestie admitted she joked with the oncologist that it was like I had just birthed a baby, he looked back at her (NOT laughing) and said, " yes, that's basically what she did." I laughed so much at that ( i mean i was also well medicated, but still) I told Bestie, " I had a Uterus! Let's call it George!" ( In retrospect I am disappointed in myself that I misgendered my own uterus, I should have called it Georgina.)

So, after healing from the surgery, by about January of 2019 I started two courses (each with a few rounds) of chemo. First came what the doctors and I called "low-pro" chemo - that we did along with radiation. Honestly, though i was making a heck of a lot more bathroom trips, you wouldn't have generally known I was sick. Most of my coworkers had no idea. I just was a bit more tired than usual. After the low pro rounds - then we moved to the bigger guns. Radiation was done but I moved to more significant chemo drugs, This wasn't because things were bad - this was the plan all along :) But I knew the "high-pro" chemo was going to make me lose my hair. THAT was a psychic struggle. I cried so much knowing that was going to happen. I got hats and caps and I even got a very nice wig. I mean, I planned as much as a girl can plan when she hears that news. I even preemptively cut my long hair. It was about half way down my back at that point. So I went in and asked the stylist please braid it and put it in between two hair ties - and then cut it - so i could keep my braid. I couldn't do locks of love anyway as it was colored, and I know it's selfish, but I wanted my hair. So, the hair went from half down my back to a face framing bob. then I just waited. And then in a few weeks it happened. I could put my hands through my hair and easily, painlessly pull it out. I am not a cute bald girl. That's when people KNOW you have something going on.

I was very lucky though, there ended up NOT being lymph involvement, and even the high pro chemo didn't make me nauseous or lose appetite. I did have HORRIBLE bone pain usually the first week after chemo ( i'd get it every three weeks). I learned a hell of a lot from that. I also was able to get some meds to help alleviate it a bit, and I took time from work when the pain was at its worst. But I have never experienced pain like that - where no matter what I did - no position changes helped. Even ice packs or heat pads didn't help or do much. It was just a waiting game, a painful waiting game. Oh also - I learned that IV benadryl is nothing like oral benadryl. IV benadryl is like walking right into a brick wall made of sleep. That stuff knocked me the hell out right quick - amazing.

Right before COVID started and the world shut down I got the flu because my immune system was in the toilet- and so I spent another week in the hospital and except for the bone pain that comes with chemo, you know what is worse than chemo injections? POTASSIUM injections. Among other things, my potassium levels were low and so I got those injections with other meds. Those suckers HURT. they BURN, and so i spent a week in the hospital only to eventually come out and find out the world was starting to shut down from COVID. Not my job at that point, but my oncologist told me, " GO HOME - YOU KNOW YOU ARE IMMUNO COMPROMISED - DON'T STAY AT WORK." So, I went home until about a month after I finished chemo.

Since finishing chemo it's been about scans, which have gone ok so far... I'm not willing to talk about the R word. I just think I'll have to be careful the rest of my life - My mom always said, "once you've gotten cancer, you always have cancer." So, maybe it's the anxiety talking, but it's kind of like waiting for the other cancer shoe to drop. In the mean time though, it's business as usual - try to find good stuff in the midst of the hot mess. Cancer has been a crisis but not a reason to lose my sense of humor. I've needed it more than ever :)

So, sorry for the SERIOUSLY LONG ASS answer, but sometimes it's just better to lay it bare. I'm not ashamed of this stuff. It's been a lot. It's been a journey... It still is... it's part of the rest of my journey, which i hope isn't over by a long shot yet. I don't believe things happen for reasons - the world is WAY too absurd for that in my opinion, BUT good gravy have i been able to learn so much from this whole three ring circus. I'm not grateful for cancer, but I am grateful for the lessons.

Thanks for checking in, Shells. You're a complete sweetheart.

[alison-anonymous]

flawsome bandits pt. 3 ♡ sonic

Flawsome Hotel-Bound Feelings

Warnings: some sad feelings, but mostly a lot of bonding fluff 

Welcome to part 3!!! I've been so excited about this fic that I've been writing every night so if you're reading, please let me know if you think I should keep uploading parts! I love hearing from you guys!! Love you all, darlings, enjoy😘💙

♡♡♡

“Did you see how much toilet paper I used?” Sonic gushed as he jumped up and down on the bright red motel bedsheet. “The next time someone goes in there, they’re going to have to use their hands!”

Y/n giggled, standing up on her knees and turning her hands into a finger gun, pointing it at the lampshade while Tom scooped up some homemade ice packs. “The brawl was intense, hands being thrown in every corner of the bar. The odds were against us…”

“But no one could best the Blue Blur, Star Chaser, and Donut Lord!” Sonic finished for her. “Scratching another one off my bucket list!” He flopped down to the nightstand and scratched off the one labeled “start a bar fight.”

“Very ambitious of you,” Y/n joked, flopping onto her back and letting her hair dangle off the side of the bed. Tom made his way over to the other bed and sat down on it, handing Sonic and Y/n each an ice pack while pressing his own against his face.

“You are one weird little dude. You’ve got a lot in common with Y/n,” Tom sent her a smug smile. She brushed some loose strands of h/c hair back and pressed the ice pack against her throbbing temples. Y/n had been one of the lucky few to have not gotten punched in the face, but she did get hit in the head by some airborne nachos. Sonic watched the two for a little bit and mimicked Y/n, pressing it against his cheek. 

“So what are we going to do now?” He asked excitedly, his ever constant adrenaline still pumping and ready to jump at whatever was next. Tom began taking off his shoes and plopping them on the floor as he glanced over at the TV set.

“I’m going to pass out watching TV, and the two of you should, too.” 

“But it’s my last day on earth!” Sonic protested, leaning against Y/n’s stomach. She slowly pushed herself up to sitting position and glanced over her shoulder at her dad. 

“I mean, he has a point,” she nodded. He sighed.

“Alright, well, anything the two of you can find in this room that might be noteworthy, have at it.” He plopped down onto the bed and in a couple of minutes, Y/n and Sonic could already hear the soft snores coming from his mouth. And he didn’t even have to turn the TV on. Sonic took this as his opportunity and flew around the room, tossing toilet paper like confetti, screwing with the TV guide, and doing… something in the bathroom. In a matter of seconds, he was already back on the bed next to Y/n, wearing a towel on his head and no shoes.

“Good times,” he smiled. The girl couldn’t help but giggle, leaning back against the headrest of the bed and staring at the TV. Sonic had left it on the news, and just as she concentrated on it, she suddenly saw two photos float across the screen.

Her stomach dropped.

“Y/n and Tom Wachowski have been accused of committing acts of domestic terrorism. They are to be considered armed and dangerous. Any information of their whereabouts must be-” She quickly shut off the TV before she could hear any more. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared blankly at the spot where she had seen her mugshot. 

“Hey, N/n, you okay?” Sonic’s voice snapped her back into reality. She glanced down at the hedgehog sitting cross legged in front of her, looking into her e/c eyes with pure concern. 

“I’m fine,” she offered him a half-hearted smile, running a shaky hand through her hair. “Just a little nervous… hey, what is this new planet you’re heading to like?” Sonic’s expression grew solemn as he began messing with the fabric of his gloves.

“It’s pretty horrible really… it’s a world full of nothing but mushrooms and breathable air, no humans. No friends. No Donut Lords or Star Chasers…” He drew off. Y/n felt her heart ache for him. She felt horrible knowing that her one new friend was now being forced to live on some planet with no other humans on it, and all because of what? Because he was different? When it came down to it, Sonic was probably one of the greatest, funniest, kindest people she had ever met.

“I’m really going to miss it here… I know I have to leave earth to keep everyone here safe, but what if Longclaw was wrong? What if I could have a life here on earth?” He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. Y/n felt her heart deflating in her chest. It was so sad, so heart wrenching to watch this little blue ball of excitement become so dejected. All that he wanted was a home, someone to hang out with and love. People who wanted him to be around. 

“I don’t want you to leave either,” she spoke slowly, almost as if she were afraid to say the words. "It isn't just because of the deja vu, I swear. You just… you're the only true friend I've ever had. And I hate seeing you unhappy…" His emerald eyes widened to the size of saucers as he stared at the girl before him in shock. The whole time he was on earth, he had to stay a secret. The only friends he had ever truly had were himself, no one even knew he existed until now. So the fact that this beautiful girl was sitting her in front of him, telling him that she didn’t want him to leave and that she hated to see him so unhappy? Well…

"That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Sonic breathed. His heart pounded against his chest so loud he was scared that she would be able to hear it. Luckily, his fur was able to hide the blush that was rising on his cheeks. What was happening? Why did he feel like throwing up rainbows? 

Y/n smiled warmly at him, her eyes glittering from the faded light of the lamp. “You’re the only friend I’ve ever had, or that I can remember having anyway. That’s what friends are for.” Sonic leaned back on his hands, eyes scanning Y/n’s thoughtfully.

“Has anyone ever told you that you are insanely easy to talk to? I don’t know, I just feel like I’ve known you all my life,” he chuckled softly, being serious for a rare moment. Usually he was all hyped up and sarcastic, but right now was one of the times where he was completely and utterly serious. Y/n pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them, resting her chin on her knees.

“I mean, maybe we did at one point. Who knows? I don’t remember a thing of my life up until I was twelve and got found in the woods.” Sonic went quiet for a moment, debating whether or not the question he wanted to ask would come off as offensive. But finally, he decided to put on some big boy pants and ask.

“...What is it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Not remembering who you are,” Sonic spoke softly, terrified to hurt her feelings. But luckily, Y/n simply gave him a small smile and looked down at the rough bed sheets, collecting her thoughts in her head. She grew silent for a moment before she finally lifted her head up once again.

“It’s… complicated. Every morning I wake up. I can hear the sound of my mom cooking breakfast downstairs. It’s gotten to the point where I can guess what she’s making by the sound of the utensil she’s using. I get up out of my bed, and leave my room, and walk down the stairs and give my dad a hug just before he leaves for work. And then I have breakfast with my mom and we talk about anything and everything. And… for a little while, I feel like I actually belong there. I feel like they are my actual family. But then I go outside, and things… are different,” she sucked in a shaky breath though her lips. “Everyone else knows exactly who they are. They know what weed killer works the best for their plants, they know where they were born, who their parents were, what they looked like when they were babies, what their favorite midnight snack is… what their last name is…

“And then I’m just standing there, not knowing any of that. There aren’t any records of me in any of the hospitals or law agencies. It’s like I didn’t even exist on this planet. And while some people can be patient and loving with me, others… can’t. My heart is still beating, and I’m breathing and I’m here. But for what? What purpose could I possibly have when I can’t even answer basic questions about myself? Tom and Maddie have been the only people to make me truly feel welcome… and then you came along.” The smile slowly returned to her lips at the mention of him. He waited patiently for her to continue, hooked onto every word she was saying. “I’ve never met anyone like you before, and not just because you’re a hedgehog. It’s just… you. You make me feel like I belong somewhere, and, god, I’ve never laughed harder or had as much fun as I have with you with anyone else. You make me feel like I’ve known you my whole life and yet I’ve only known you for a day. It’s insane,” she chuckled, shaking her h/c locks. 

Her laugh was contagious as Sonic found himself chuckling before long too. 

“Well, I still made a promise to you that I plan to keep,” he began. “I will find a way to help you remember. Everything will be okay in the end.”

“How do you know?” Y/n asked curiously. Sonic simply shrugged, smiling.

“I just have a feeling.” A moment of comfortable silence floated between the two as they stared at one another. Y/n felt her stomach become full of butterflies, then finally giving up their hesitance to fly around freely in joy. The feeling of nostalgia had become something that she enjoyed experiencing as it helped her feel like she had a closer connection with the bright blue hedgehog. Maybe they did meet sometime in her life and she just forgot about it for whatever reason. Perhaps Sonic could help her find a way to remember, though she had no clue how he planned to try and accomplish it. Sonic hadn’t the slightest clue either, but he did know that he would be willing to run to the ends of the earth in order to make her happy. 

No, it couldn’t be. It wouldn’t make any sense! Were they… falling in love? 

“Um,” Y/n cleared her throat, the time suddenly becoming very apparent to her as she glanced down at her snoring father. “We should probably get to bed. He wants to leave by eight.”

Sonic nodded rapidly, tossing the towel off of his head and onto the floor. Y/n chuckled, not having even realized he was still wearing it. “Right, I can take the floor.”

“Don’t be silly, you can sleep in the bed too,” Y/n moved the comforters down and slid her legs underneath the sheets. “I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor and my dad tends to be a cover-hog.”

Sonic scrunched up his features in slight uncertainty, not wanting to make things awkward between him and his new friend. However, she had already made up her mind.

“Sonic. Get in bed.” She ordered. He quickly nodded and dove under the covers, snuggling up on to the pillow and letting out a surprised sigh. Back in his cave, he had only ever had a bean bag chair that he absolutely adored to sleep on. But a bed? It was like what he imagined sleeping on a cloud to be like. The pillow molded around his head and the blankets kept his body warm. It was like being wrapped up in a hug by a marshmallow. Y/n couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction.

“Never slept in a bed before?”

“It. Is. Amazing.” He slowly lowered his face under the covers until only his eyes could be seen, staring straight at Y/n. She laughed, getting comfortable in the bed as well after turning off the lamp next to the bed. As they settled in the darkness, staring at one another (hopefully without the other knowing), their breaths began to slow down as the drowsiness finally kicked in. But just before they nodded off, they were reminded of each other.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” Sonic whispered.

“Goodnight, Sonic.”

♡ a.a.

[szopenhauer]

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? Debbie Downer should be my name lol

What would you love to drink right now? I’m drinking water rn, second mug in a row, my belly is going to explode

Is that an alcoholic drink or not? it’s not this kind of water :P

Oh good. What would you love to eat right now? I’m not hungry...

How many meals do you eat a day? depends

Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? sometimes

What are you favorite type of jeans? I’d say skinny even tho I don’t wear jeans anymore ^^”

Do you eat your nails? wait what swallow? ewww I don’t even bite them :o 

Do you enjoy making or taking surveys? taking them more 

Name something that is blue that you like Sadness from Inside out

Name something pink that you like PYNK music video by Janelle Monae? XD

If you could have one more pet, what? meh

If you could sleep next to a tame wild animal what? woah 

Would you rather have an owl or a snake? both are cool

What would you name it? Bowl for owl and for snake either Ksysio or Wonsz żmieja?

Do you eat the ice in your drink? no

Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? I had one cigarette in my whole life but I still keep a package in my room :x

Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? fb, I don’t care for insta 

Do you watch beauty videos on You Tube? nah

Do you like Star Wars? love

What kind of surveys do you like the most? interesting, not just YES or NO questions, I want to go deeper 

Have you ever dropped something down the garbage disposal on accident? omg luckily not 

What CD would you never buy for yourself? anything Justin Bieber for sure

Is sex a must in your life? absolutely not

Would you rather be cute and ugly or hot and stupid? cute and ugly? lmfao ok 

Are you evil in any way? everyone is, more or less

Would you rather be a clown or a garbage man? can’t decide :D

Would you rather be a rockstar or a librarian? librarian but rock star ain’t that bad of a choice ;)

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? again? I just got this question on ask today and that really made me anxious

Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? sigh... Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? yep but not to my room as I’m super ashamed of it, it’s not what I really want, it’s more like a storage room for mine and my mom’s things, I wish I could move and out and do what I want instead of cleaning this mess just to have it ruined days after, not that I have money now to fix things the way I imagine my bedroom to be someday :( Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? yesterday was better but today I got a T-shirt so that was a good moment Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? hospital

Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? blergh, r u kidding me?... Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? constantly Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? not because of me but someone somewhere definitely has that name on them for another reason How would you feel if you got the person you liked? I'm in a relationship Is there anyone who likes you? it seems If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? of course  What’s the first thing you heard this morning? you mean a sound (doorbell) or words (I don’t remember)? If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? not possible Are you young or old? young, at least according to my ID and being childish Are there always other fish in the sea? there are but maybe I don’t want them and/or they don’t want to be catched etc. What can your tongue do? pfft Do chickens have feelings? sorta Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? ...  So how are you feeling today? not good enough Where is your sister right now? don’t know nor care What do you smell like? it’s so hot, I smell like sweat and I can’t stand it but I can’t shower all day long What colour is your mum’s hair? grey  When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? last week Do you like fire? as an element of magic in fantasy movies  Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? she’s noisy in different ways Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? that’s a lame stereotype Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? they’re useless but one time I bought Moomin ones because I’ve been walking through the store and they fallen right under my feet and there was nobody around nor the shelf/aisle that they could come from so it was weird and I love Moomins so I took them home (I paid) and they’re probably stored somewhere  Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? what do you mean? Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? my gf apparently - in a cute way - that’s surprising for a teetotalist like me  What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? my tee came! When was the last time you saw your father? he just left for work and I was waving to him through the window which is our tradition  What if your partner went through your cellphone? I have nothing to hide Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? my parents and sister

Robert Downey Jr. — Bet you have a crush on him. he’s handsome but I’d prefer to be him instead of having a crush on sex I’m not attracted to

What would you do if you were to get stuck on a ski lift overnight? ... freeze? and pee myself Have you ever received an anonymous gift? one time when we were really poor that we couldn’t afford food someone left a package under our door, knocked and ran, bless this person whoever knew we have hard times :* What kind of laugh do you have? many kinds that happen randomly Will you have a Valentine next year? I have a bigger chance than any other year before  Macaroon or a cupcake? cupcake Did you kiss or hug anyone today? hug my mom and my dad too Are you currently waiting on someone to do something for you/to you? kinda Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I’m not in an abusive relationship but I know those who are as it’s common and it’s really sad that ppl think only beating makes relationship toxic Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? I’ll stay home  Do you find your school to be loaded with hot guys or not so much? I remember E.W. once said that we have a lot of elves around because LOTR movie had very ugly ones as we did in high school, I tried to find that pic someone posted back in the day but I failed, it was from the council from what I remember 

Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? mostly I just keep my eye on my father and my mother all the time because of covid (and not only because of it) if that counts Are you plotting anything at the moment? another chapter of the book? Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? because they were evil to them, it wasn’t about ME If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? she moved out :3

Do you have a therapist? no longer Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? yeah, in middle school I was getting awesome grades in math class What do you think of the last person you texted? we’re dating Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? I’ve never done cocaine wtf

Do you post pictures were you look good but your friends look bad? I ask them first  Are you friends with any of your exes? me and one of my exes are together Are you a whiskey person? I’m a no alcohol person

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? tiny bit, wasn’t that bad

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? I have not Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? not in a movie theater Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? somewhat Do you like sour candy? by Lady Gaga  not eat Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? but I don’t drive Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? brrrr no way Are you good at painting nails? am not but it doesn’t matter Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? doubt it What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? kurwa Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? cross it out, if I ripped the page then there would be nothing left  Do you use a full length mirror daily? we don’t own one Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I think they don’t match my style and they’re uncomfy in a long term Mac or PC? PC Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? sorry but probably not Do you ever actually make your bed? when I have guests Do you make an effort to eat healthy? yup The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? black, that’s easy What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? food If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? money because one regret won’t help me and even might make things worse Are you taller than your mom? almost 10 cm What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving today? my gf - break up  my dad - try to stop him or move out with him You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? no problems  Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? 0 Could you handle living with a male roommate? my dad, no one else What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? waking up Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? who said we aren’t texting? Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? don’t feed my paranoia Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? love Where is your biological father right now? bus/job already Who else is in the room with you? I’m alone Water with ice or no ice? no ice  Are you wrapped in a blanket? too hot for that

Has anyone done anything nice for you today? I’m thankful for all those nice things people do for me - big or small The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? took a walk

Do you usually bring or buy a lunch for school? bring

The last time you had sex, was it in their bed or yours? their

How old were you when you figured out you were definitely straight, or bi, or whatever? middle school was the beginning 

Do you fit in at work or in school? I was always an outcast

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh God, Ew.”? 99% of time

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? nope

Is there someone you need to forgive? *annoyed sound*

What’s your brother(s) / sister(s) names? personal

Suppose you saw your crush/bf/gf kissing another girl/guy, what would you do? why tho

What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? whatever bridesmaid wanna wear besides white

Do you have a secret crush right now? it’s no secret

Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? me

Would you rather visit Tokyo or Paris? dunno

Do you think you would like living in New York or Chicago? Why or why not? too overcrowded/loud etc.

Name 3 celebrities who are the same height as you. Lady Gaga, Ellen Page, Reese Witherspoon

Are you happy with your height? I’d like to be taller, not too much tho

Do you have big or small hands? small

Have you been baptized?  I have been 

Have you ever been abused in any way? sadly

Do you like unicorns? they’re fine

Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? I don’t reread books

Do you play games on your phone a lot? recently I became obsessed with LOVE ISLAND game 

Have you ever had to put out a kitchen fire? my mom took care of it but it wasn’t a big deal tbh

Have you ever been kidnapped? wut

Do you have anything glow in the dark in your room? stars

Do you wear a scarf, if so, what does it look like? not rn

Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? mhm but not too long

Do you get breadsticks with your pizza? breadsticks and pizza? it’s like bread with bread - no thx

Did you ever have a waterbed? I hate those

What toy from your childhood do you miss? rubber toys?

Did you sleep in late today? yes

When was the last time you were disappointed? this day

Do you like listening to love songs? I like a variety of music which includes love songs

In your group of friends, are you the smart one, athletic one, etc.? funny mom friend... ok, fine, a dad because my puns are daddy jokes

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? no but they said bad things about me behind my back

Did you ever watch the show Full House? with my sister What was the last thing that scared you? how I feel physically Do the librarians at your library know you by name? they do

What ten people would you most likely bring on a roadtrip? 10 ppl?! shoot me...

Is there anything you’re really stressed out about right now? health issues

What was the last thing that made you cry? I’m about to cry...

What are the last three songs you listened to? Crystal Castles - Suffocation  frnkiero andthe cellabration - neverenders  Major Lazer - Be Together (Feat. Wild Belle)

[you-a-southpaw-doll]

Sniffles ~ A Modern Negan!AU One-Shot

Summary: Even though Negan suffers from a sinus infection, he doesn’t let it stop him from spending the day with his son, Christian.

Warning(s): Fluff. Language. Negan as a single dad. Slight angst. Tobacco use.

Relationship(s): Negan x Christian (OMC) (Father/Son)

Characters: Negan. Christian (OMC). Brief mention of Reader.

Taglist: @negans-network @thamberlina @prettyboynegan

Story Time:

“Daddy?”

I look down at my little boy sitting in my lap. He has his head tilted back and he’s just looking up at me with a curious expression. In this moment, he looks just like his mama, my late wife, (Y/N). He has your eyes, and my dimples. As each day goes by, he looks more and more like you. 

At times, it breaks my heart ‘cause you’re not here to see him. At others, it makes my heart swell with love ‘cause I know you’re still here in a way. You passed away two years ago, when our son was only five years old. Some drunk driver had collided into head-on. 

You didn’t even make it to the hospital. Since then, I’ve been raising our little boy by myself. I keep one arm curled ‘round his waist as I hold him in my lap, and bring my other hand up to his hair. I brush his blonde locks outta his face as I sniffle.

“Yea, little man?” I ask, trying not to sneeze.

“Can we watch a movie?” He asks.

I nod. “Of course, we fuckin’ can, bud. You got one in mind?”

He giggles and nods. Whenever I cuss, he always giggles. He finds it to be the funniest thing in the world. I know you never liked me cussing ‘round him, but since you’ve been gone, it’s been harder to control. The words just slip out. He’s picked up a few of ‘em, but he never says ‘em outside of the house, which I appreciate. 

He climbs outta my lap, but doesn’t go very far; only far ‘nough to get the remote. Once he has it, he climbs back up in my lap, sitting sideways, so that he’s sitting on my right thigh, with his legs draped over my other one. I wrap my arm ‘round him to keep him from falling.

He scrolls through the recorded movies I have on the DVR. When he finds the one he wants to watch, he plays it, drops the remote, and nestles up against me, resting his head on my shoulder. I make commentary throughout the movie, which has him laughing. 

I love hearing his laugh; it’s so pure and innocent, and it reminds me a great deal of you and your laugh. I keep sneezing every couple of minutes, and sniffle when I’m not sneezing. Halfway through the movie, he tilts his head back, looking up at me. 

He runs his fingers through my short, salt and pepper beard. I flash him a dimpled smile, before turning my head to sneeze again. This sinus infection I’ve got going on is kicking my ass. Not only is it making my entire body weak, and tired, but my nose is already raw.

To the point that normal tissues irritate it even more, and my nose burns worse than the Devil in a sauna in Hell on a hot Georgia day in the middle of fuckin’ July.

“Daddy? Can we pull the couch out into the bed? I wanna lay down.” My son says, letting out a big yawn for such a little kid.

My smile grows as I kiss his forehead. “Sure, little man. Hop up for a moment, yeah?”

He nods and hops outta my lap. I push myself up off the couch. He beats me to removing the cushions, and tosses ‘em to the side. I can’t help but chuckle. I reach down, grab the handle to the pull-out bed, and tug. When the bed unfolds, I look at my son. 

He’s got a couple blankets in his arms. Laughing, I take ‘em from him and get ‘em situated on the bed. I can’t help but notice that one of ‘em is your favorite one. It’s also our son’s favorite one.  My heart clenches at the sight of it. I miss you something fierce. 

I always do. Every day since you’ve been gone. Christian helps me get the pillows set up on the bed before he crawls under the blankets. Patting the empty space beside him, he looks up me. His curly hair flopping back as his head tilts back.

“Sit with me, daddy?” He asks.

I nod while sneezing. I climb into the bed next to him. He immediately curls up to my left side, laying his little head on my chest, just over my heart, and draping his tiny arm across my tummy. I let my arm rest behind him, bending it at the elbow so my hand can rest on his back. 

Every time I sneeze, he jumps slightly, but hands me a clean tissue.

“I just wanna take care of you, daddy.” He says, handing me the sixth tissue in less than twenty minutes.

I smile and thank him. He stays curled up to my side. A few minutes after I start rubbing his back, I notice he’s drifted off to sleep, snoring quietly. I doze off too, knowing that my son’s alright. I wake up some time later to my phone ringing. I grumble as I reach behind me to grab it. 

Placing it to my ear, I realize that I’ve rolled to my left side, with Christian on his side, facing me, but still tucked against my chest. He’s still sound asleep, and my arm’s still ‘round him.

“Hello?” I mumble, quietly, into the phone, making sure not to wake my little boy up.

“Hey, Negan!” Simon says. “I was just wanting to check in on you and see how things were going.”

“They’re fine.” I sneeze again, causing my son to jump in his sleep, and scoot closer to me.

“You sure? You don’t sound like it.”

I grunt. “Mmhhmm. Christian’s asleep next to me. I’m sicker than a fuckin’ dog. But, other than that, things are a-fuckin’-okay, Si.”

“Ok. Ok. Can I do anythin’ for y’all?”

I shake my head before I notice that he can’t see me. Christian stirs in my arms.

“Nah. We’re fuckin’ good, Si. Thanks, though.” I say to my best friend through the phone.

“Ok. Well, if I can, let me know. Alright? I’ll swing by later.” Simon says.

“Sounds good. Listen. I’ve got to fuckin’ go.”

“Ok.”

Simon ends the call. I lock my phone and set it on the bed next to me. My son stirs again.

“Daddy? When’s dinner?” He asks, sleepily.

I glance down at him. He’s still got his eyes closed. I chuckle.

“You fuckin’ hungry, little man?” I ask.

He giggles and nods. “Mmhhmm.”

I laugh. “Alright. I’ll make dinner in a few.”

He cracks his eyes open and looks up at me, nodding. He snuggles up to me even more. Neither of us move for a few minutes until I hear his tummy growl. I playfully tickle him, causing him to laugh.

I smile. “Alright. C’mon. Let’s go get some fuckin’ food in you, yeah?”

He grins. “Yay!”

He hugs me tightly before jumping outta bed and running to the kitchen. Sitting up, I chuckle and reach into my pocket for my can of dip. I used to smoke cigarettes, but you didn’t like it, so I stopped. After you passed, I needed something, and I was hesitant to drink since you’d been taken from us ‘cause of a drunk driver. 

As much as I missed the taste of liquor, I wasn’t willing to pick up a drink. Since I didn’t wanna start smoking again, I started dipping. I pop the top, grab a pouch of Copenhagen Wintergreen snuff with my index finger, and thumb. I tuck it into the side of my lip as I hear my son call out to me from the other room.

I shove the dip can in my back pocket. I clamber outta the bed, and follow right behind him. I have to stop a few times ‘cause I have to sneeze really hard. Christian runs up to me after the third sneeze with a tissue handy.

“Thanks, bud.” I say, blowing my nose.

He just grins and runs back to the kitchen. It really isn’t that far from the living room, since we only live in a two bedroom, one bath house. It’s just he and I, so we don’t need a lot of space. Plus, it’s the house you and I bought right after we got married. 

I could’ve moved at some point over the last two years, but I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to for a couple of reasons. This was the home we’d shared together. I didn’t want to disrupt Christian’s life any more than it already been by having him move. 

Plus, it’s right down the street from the high school I work at, and the local community college I attend at night. I smile as soon as I see my son in the kitchen. He’s standing on his little step stool, hands on the counter, and just bouncing with excitement. 

He looks up at me, smiling.

“C’mon, daddy! I’m hungry and I wanna help you cook!” He exclaims.

I laugh as I walk closer to him. “Alright, bud. Why don’t you go ahead and hop up on the fuckin’ counter, eh?”

He giggles as he does just that. He plops down on the countertop, and swings his feet back and forth, occasionally kicking the cabinet doors. I walk over to him, ruffling his hair.

He just grins up at me. “What are we havin’?”

I think. “Hmm…pork chops, mashed taters, mac n cheese, and some fuckin’ gravy?”

“Yea!”

I chuckle. “Alright. Let’s get to fuckin’ work then.”

He giggles and helps me while I get the pork chops breaded and in the frying pan.

“Daddy?” Christian asks while I cut up the little roast potatoes.

“Yea, little man?” I ask, glancing up at him.

“Can we play some music? Pretty please?”

I laugh. “Sure, bud. You know where my phone is?”

He nods and hops down off the counter. He runs to the living room. I drop the potatoes into the pot of boiling water. I flip the pork chops in the frying pan. A moment later, my son’s walking back into the kitchen. I watch as he walks closer to me, head down, gazing at the screen of my iPhone while his little fingers tap against the screen. 

A moment later, I hear a song start playing. Christian looks up at me, with a cute little smirk on his face. He hops back up on the counter, setting my phone beside him. We jam out to the music while I cook. The songs change, but Christian and I don’t really mind.

We’re just having a lot of fuckin’ fun. Halfway through cooking, and just as I’m ‘bout to add the macaroni pasta to the hot water, I look at my little boy, just as a rough sneeze escapes my body. I quickly turn my head, and sneeze, making sure to cover my nose. 

I sniffle once I’m done sneezing, and look at my son again.

“Do you mind goin’ and openin’ the fuckin’ door, little man? Uncle Si said he’s gonna stop on by.” I say, my voice a bit scratchy from that last, harsh sneeze.

He grins, giggles, and nods. He hops down off the counter, almost falling in the process, but I quickly reach down to help steady him. He grins even more and dashes off to the living room. I hear him struggle with the door handle for a few seconds ‘fore the door hits the bookcase we have by it. 

His little feet pad across the floor in a hurry as he rushes back into the kitchen where I’m at. He runs straight into my legs, wrapping his tiny little arms ‘round ‘em, and tucking his face against my thigh. I just chuckle, add the pasta to the water, and bend down to scoop my little man up into my arms.

I get him settled on my hip; his legs wrap ‘round my waist, one arm curls ‘round my neck, and his free hand plays with the collar of my tank top. I stir the pasta with my free hand, before leaning against the counter across from the stove. I shift Christian so that he’s still got his legs ‘round my waist, but he’s facing me. 

My arms are hooked ‘round his waist, keeping a tight grip on him so that he doesn’t fall. He brings his hands up and fiddles with my dog tags.

“What are these, daddy?” He ask, glancing up at me.

“Those are my dog tags.” I reply, smiling.

His brow furrows. “Dog tags? But...you’re not a dog, daddy.”

I laugh. “No. I’m not.”

“Then...why do you have dog tags?”

“Remember daddy’s uniform?”

He tilts his head to the side. “Your Navy one?”

I nod. “Daddy was in the Navy, little man. My dog tags are my way of being identified if I was ever hurt.”

“Were you ever hurt?”

I point to the scar that’s on my left shoulder. “I was shot.”

He looks up at me, fear in his eyes. “But...you’re ok, right?”

I nod, lowering my head slightly to kiss his forehead. “I’m alright, little man. I’m alright.”

He nods his own head, and drops my dog tags. His little arms wrap ‘round my neck, and he lays his head against my shoulder. I just hold my son close. A few moments later, I hear the screen door open, and heavy footsteps in the living room.

“Negan? Christian?” Simon calls out.

Christian lifts his head and looks at the entryway to the kitchen. A grin covers his face.

“Uncle Si!” He exclaims.

I hear Simon let out a deep chuckle. “Hey, little man.”

I turn, setting my son down on the ground in the process, and look at my best friend. Christian runs over to his uncle, who sets down the couple of grocery bags in his hands, to pick my son up. Simon’s not really his uncle, but rather, his godfather, and with Simon being so much like a brother to me, he’s like an uncle to Christian. 

The two talk in hushed whispers for a few minutes. I focus on finishing up dinner. When I turn my attention back to my best friend and my little boy, I notice that Simon’s looking at me.

“Bro. You look like shit.” He says.

I let out a weak chuckle. “Thanks. I bet you say that to all the guys.”

He laughs. “Shut the fuck up.”

I laugh, which leads me to sneezing again. I groan at this one ‘cause it hurts like a motherfucker. Simon plates three dishes with the small meal I cooked, and carries ‘em to the living room, with Christian and I following right behind him. The three of us all all sit on the edge of the pull-out couch mattress, and eat our dinner while watching Monsters University. 

After dinner, Simon cleans up the kitchen, ignoring my protests and telling him I’ll take care of it tomorrow. He cleans the kitchen up for me, gives Christian a hug, and pats me on the shoulder, before leaving. I get Christian settled in the bath, and he insists that I sit in there with him.

As he’s getting ready to step in the tub, he looks up at me.

“Daddy. Sit in with me. You can work on your homework while I take a bath.” He says.

I smile. “Ok. Fine. I guess I can fuckin’ do that.”

He giggles and hops in the tub. While he’s splashing ‘round, I go grab my laptop and come back to sit on the toilet seat. Christian plays ‘round in the water, with the curtain drawn so he can have privacy, and I work on the two 15 page research papers, on baseball, that I have due over the weekend.

As soon as I finish the little edits I had to make to ‘em, and submit ‘em, I close my laptop, and prop it up against the wall, just outside the bathroom.

“Alright, little man. Let’s get you clean.” I say.

I help Christian wash his hair. For some reason, he’s always had a fear of washing his hair, so I have to help him with it. He prefers for you to do it, but in the last two years, since it’s just been he and I, he’s gotten used to having me help him wash his hair.

As soon as he’s clean, he reaches for the tub stopper, and I grab a clean towel. He stands up, and I dry his hair ‘fore wrapping the towel ‘round him. I scoop him up and carry him out to the living room, plopping him down on the bed. He just laughs that innocent, carefree laugh of his, and I smile. 

He sits up, pulling his arms from the confines of the towel, and reaches for his jersey shorts. When he’s got them on, he looks at me, tossing the towel at me too.

“Daddy. Can I wear I sleep in one of your shirts?” He asks.

I nod and go grab one of the t-shirts I bought from my college. I walk back to him and slide it over his head. It swallows him whole, but he just smiles. I toss the towel onto the chair ‘side the couch while he get situated under the blankets. I settle down next to him, only for him to immediately nestle up to my side. 

Since you’ve been gone, he’s gotten a lot clingier to me. Not that I mind, ‘cause I don’t. Not one fuckin’ bit. He’s all I’ve got, and I’m all he’s got. He lays his head on my shoulder once I wrap my arm ‘round him. I play the pause since we’d paused it after dinner.

“Daddy? Can you tell me a story ‘bout you and mummy?” Christian asks.

I smile and pause the movie. “Of course.”

I tell him the story ‘bout how you and I first met. I had just gotten home from a deployment, so I was still in my uniform, and had my bags slung over my shoulders. I was waiting for a taxi at the airport, and you’d bumped into me from behind.

You apologized, and kept your head lowered, from embarrassment, I later found out. I assured you it was perfectly fine and even teased you a bit. I couldn’t help it. 

You were precious. All flustered and shit. 

Plus, you were cuter than a baby bunny on Easter morning. You took my breath away, and made my heart flutter in ways it never had before. I found out that you were going to the same apartment building I was. When the taxi pulled up, I offered to share the taxi with you, and you readily accepted since you were running late. 

During the ride to our apartment complex, we got to know each other, and by the time the taxi stopped, I’d gotten the courage to ask you out to dinner. I’d never been nervous ‘bout asking a woman to dinner before, but it was different with you. 

You nervously agreed. I realized, later, that you were only nervous ‘cause you thought I was insanely hot and hadn’t ever really had someone like me talk to someone like you before.

Your words, not mine. 

After setting up a date for the following day, and swapping phone numbers, we went our separate ways. Turns out, you lived on the floor below mine. I took you to dinner the next night, and well, the rest was history. I asked you to marry me a few months later, just ‘fore I found out I was gonna get deployed again in a few months’ time.

We got married three days ‘fore I shipped out on another deployment. You couldn’t wait another minute of not being my wife. When I got back, I found you waiting for me, with our son in your arms. You’d wanted to wait and tell me in person that you were pregnant ‘cause you felt it was something that would be better said face-to-face as opposed to the letters we sent back and forth.

Since, I didn’t know you were pregnant, I was sad that I’d missed it, but the sight of you holding our little boy, waiting for my on that dock made my heart swell with love. We went back to our apartment, and eventually bought this house. I got out of the Navy, and got a job as a high school coach. 

By time I’m finished with the story, I glance down at my son. He’s sound asleep, tucked against my side. I smile, kiss the top of his head, and close my eyes. I wake up at some point in the night to him crawling on top of me, wrapping his legs ‘round my waist, and his arms ‘round my neck.

“Don’t wanna lose you, daddy.” He mumbles in his sleep.

It breaks my heart, and I tighten my arms ‘round him. He moves his head and tucks it against the side of my neck, tighten his little arms ‘round me. I drift off to sleep once more.

[consultthemuses]

Sentence Meme: 170 Buffy Summers Quotes

Some will be more easily applicable than others. SOME WILL CONTAIN TRIGGERS (violence/blood mentions/supernatural references)!! Feel free to change pronouns/genders at will.

❛ Darn your sinister attraction. ❜

❛ You stabbed [name] to death. What were you trying to do, scratch his back from the front? ❜

❛ Judgemental? If I was any more open-minded about the choices you two make, my whole brain would fall out. ❜

❛ TV is a good thing. Bright colours. Music. Tiny little people. ❜

❛ They never just leave. Always gotta say something. ❜

❛ Oh come on! Stake through the heart, a little sunlight, it's like falling off a log. ❜

❛ I have no time for orders. ❜

❛ [name], when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the Homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad ... you suck. ❜

❛ You said it was big. You told me, but you never said it was huge! ❜

❛ He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom. ❜

❛ So I'm treated like the baddie, just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose...and I don't have a scratch on me. Which, granted, hurts my case a little, on the surface. ❜

❛ I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters. ❜

❛ What I want is the [name] that's dangerous. The [name] that tried to kill me when we met. ❜

❛ Sex and death and love and pain -- it's all the same damn thing to you. ❜

❛ Have you completely lost your mind? ❜

❛ I'm not just some crazy person. I'm the Slayer! ❜

❛ You named your stake? Remind me to get you a stuffed animal. ❜

❛ I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die. ❜

❛ It's all [name]’s fault. She's like poison. No, worse, she's like acid that eats through everything. Maybe she's a bomb. ❜

❛ You know, you really should watch your language. Someone didn't know you, they might think you were a woman-hating jerk. ❜

❛ The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest; you can go hmm. ❜

❛ You sounded like Mr. Initiative. Demons bad. People good. ❜

❛ See, I didn't think this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair.. ❜

❛ There is something bad down here. Possibly everything bad. ❜

❛ [name] is not dangerous. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. God, I never knew you were such a bigot. ❜

❛ My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! ❜

❛ A bad omen and we just ignore it? There's going to be a lot of red faces when the world comes to an end. ❜

❛ Good.'Cause I've had it. [name] is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend! ❜

❛ This is [name]. He's um.. It's a really long story b-but he's not bad anymore. ❜

❛ I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. ❜

❛ Say it's true. Say I do want to... it wouldn't be you, [name]. It would never be you. You're beneath me. ❜

❛ I don't know what's coming next. But I do know it's gonna be just like this -- hard, painful. But in the end, it's gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we'll be the ones left standing. ❜

❛ Best of all... I'm not stupid. ❜

❛ Anyone else who wants to run... do it now. Because we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. ❜

❛ Look, I broke a nail, ok? I'm wearing a press-on. ❜

❛ So, what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil? ❜

❛ I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening, if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it. ❜

❛ It was exactly you, [name], every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix. As far as we know. ❜

❛ I see one more display of testosterone-poisoning, and I will personally put you both in the hospital. ❜

❛ I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it's going to swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. ❜

❛ I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open, and rips your guts out. ❜

❛ Oh! That's my skirt! You're never gonna fit in it with those hips. We have to kill them! ❜

❛ I hate it when they drown me. ❜

❛ Okay, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whatever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. ❜

❛ I'm looking for this guy. Bleach-blond hair, leather jacket, British accent, kind of... sallow? But in a hot way? ❜

❛ Death is what a slayer breathes, what a slayer dreams about when she sleeps. ❜

❛ A flare gun? If I find [name], I'm staking him, not signalling ships at sea. ❜

❛ It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus! ❜

❛ There's only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us. ❜

❛ The fast-growing field of personal grooming has come a long way since you became a vampire. ❜

❛ The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big 'ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care. ❜

❛ You have fruit punch mouth. ❜

❛ You smell this bad when you were alive? ❜

❛ [name]’s a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection. ❜

❛ What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse? And doesn't even pack a lipstick? ❜

❛ If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call. ❜

❛ Well, a man that worships chaos and tries to kill you is a man you can trust. ❜

❛ I accidentally killed [name]! That's okay, right? ❜

❛ That'll be then. When I'm done. ❜

❛ Do you have everything? Books? Lunch? Stakes? ❜

❛ I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why. ❜

❛ I'm the one that dates dead guys. And, no offence, but they were hotties. ❜

❛ I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much fire bad; tree pretty. ❜

❛ Hey! Remember this? I took it from [name]. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You wanna get it back from me? Dick? ❜

❛ You know. No kick-o, no fight-o. ❜

❛ [name] has minions? ❜

❛ Oh yes! Like how the cow and the chicken come together even though they've never met. It's like Sleepless in Seattle if, if Meg and Tom were, like, minced. ❜

❛ What was the highlight of our relationship -- when you broke up with me, or when I killed you? ❜

❛ You're right. He's manipulative and shallow... and why doesn't he want me? Am I so repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right? ❜

❛ We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we'll give 'em one. ❜

❛ You had sex with [name]? You had sex with [NAME]? ❜

❛ Sorry, [name]. Changed the locks. ❜

❛ Besides, I look cute in a tiara. ❜

❛ Oh, [name]! Of course it's yes! ❜

❛ I'll end up an old lady who can only live with cats. ❜

❛ Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical till I was at least forty. ❜

❛ I don't have time for bondage fun. ❜

❛ She knows about viscera. Makes you proud. ❜

❛ They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train. ❜

❛ It was terrible. I moped over you for months, sitting in my room, listening to that Divinyls song "I Touch Myself".. of course, I had no idea what it was about. ❜

❛ I'm working. Go away. ❜

❛ The one who, according to [name], is the, quote: "smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having the thickest boy eyelashes boy in school," and quote. ❜

❛ I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say! ❜

❛ Pop culture reference. Sorry. ❜

❛ How can you tell me you understand what those vampires are feeling? You aren't a passion to them, you are a snack! A willing, idiotic snack. ❜

❛ You want credit for not feeding on bleeding disaster victims? ❜

❛ Let me answer that question with a head-butt. ❜

❛ Right now you're asking yourself, "What makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one? ❜

❛ I-I was... just thinking, wouldn't it be funny some time to see each other when it wasn't a blood thing.. ❜

❛ Will you just hold me? ❜

❛ If it's possible, you seem more monosyllabic than usual. ❜

❛ I'm just worried this whole session's gonna turn into some training montage from an 80's movie. ❜

❛ How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first? ❜

❛ Not too crazy? Those are your credentials? ❜

❛ I can fool [name], and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or [name], for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. ❜

❛ Nooo... I think you're up in the clocktower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in. ❜

❛ You've awakened the prom-queen within. And that crown is going to be mine. ❜

❛ I'm pretty spry for a corpse. ❜

❛ Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away. ❜

❛ This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight? ❜

❛ And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men - evil. You know, straight up, black hat, tied to the train tracks, 'soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis' bad. ❜

❛ We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono. ❜

❛ Doesn't matter how well prepped you are, or how well armed you are. You're a little girl. ❜

❛ Repeat until insane. ❜

❛ You're in love with pain. Admit it. ❜

❛ What are you doing here? Five words or less. ❜

❛ [name] seems so solid. Like.. he wouldn't cause me heartache. ❜

❛ Okay, a scenario: you back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out. ❜

❛ [name], your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good. ❜

❛ Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen? ❜

❛ I don't know. I kinda' see [name] as the loyal type. ❜

❛ No, [name], it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. ❜

❛ Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, [name]. ❜

❛ You're disgusting. ❜

❛ Well, we'll fix it. We'll hit serious research mode. ❜

❛ Every year, my Dad buys me cotton candy and one of those souvenir programs that has all the pictures. ❜

❛ Now might be a good time for your trademark stoicism. ❜

❛ So I told him that I loved him...and I kissed him.. and I killed him. ❜

❛ I'm getting better, honest. In fact, from here on, you're going to see a drastic distraction reduction. Drastic distraction reduction... try saying that ten times fast. ❜

❛ [name] and I are getting married! ❜

❛ We're going to the magic shop. No school supplies there. ❜

❛ [name] tried to kill me! ❜

❛ So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals! ❜

❛ I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you. ❜

❛ This is not gonna' be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language, adult content. ❜

❛ I have to get away from that 'bad boy' thing. There's no good there. ❜

❛ Exactly. I'm sure [name] is flogging and punishing himself.. This is sounding wrong before I even finish.. ❜

❛ I just don't want you to get your hopes up. ❜

❛ Oh, time has no meaning here. ❜

❛ Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots? ❜

❛ Right. I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping. ❜

❛ Just look at you, [name]. Less than 24 hours ago you killed a man. And now it's all zip-a-dee-doo-dah? ❜

❛ You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people like you, [name]: loser. ❜

❛ Hey! I was intimidating here. ❜

❛ I know you guys think it's just a big, dumb, girlie thing, but it's not. I mean, a lot of those skaters are Olympic medal winners. ❜

❛ Yeah, just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey. You're in grave danger. I'll see you next month! ❜

❛ We're not friends. We never were. ❜

❛ Sure. We saved the world, I say we party. ❜

❛ Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me. ❜

❛ You have a lot to learn about women.. ❜

❛ Aren't you going to introduce me to your... Holy God, you're [name]! ❜

❛ I got older. ❜

❛ Yeah, I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my Slayerness. That's... something-ism. ❜

❛ My boyfriend had a bicentennial. ❜

❛ Boy, you've really thought this through. How bored were you last year? ❜

❛ This.. is not your business. It's mine. ❜

❛ Hey, the way things were going, be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually did something. ❜

❛ Come on, you've been dating for what, like 200 years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show. ❜

❛ Well, when you've been around since Columbus, you're bound to pile up a few exes. ❜

❛ D'you have any gum? ❜

❛ You know, I know what that looks like, but I-I swear it's not what it looks like. It's magic weed. It's not mine. ❜

❛ I didn't even break a nail. ❜

❛ God, [name], is that all you think about? ❜

❛ [name] didn't set this up. [name] did. This is the wrapping for the gift. ❜

❛ You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes. ❜

❛ Mom, I'm a Vampire Slayer. ❜

❛ You know, nothing's really going to change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror. ❜

❛ I think I speak for everyone here when I say, 'Huh?'. ❜

❛ Guys. The environment. I'm telling you, it's totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die. ❜

❛ Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy. ❜

❛ You know what? I like the look. It's um, it's extreme, but it looks good, you know, it's a leather thing. And, uh, I said extreme already, didn't I? ❜

❛ What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! ❜

❛ It's a stupid dance with stupid people I see every stupid day! ❜

❛ My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in LA was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters. I even got the Dorothy haircut, thereby securing a place for myself in the Geek Hall of Fame. ❜

❛ Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago. ❜

❛ There are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns. ❜

❛ I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would've figured it out by now. ❜

❛ You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER! ❜

❛ Don't worry. They can't come in unless they're invited. ❜

❛ They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. ❜

[ishpperalta-blog]

It's so weird to think about how nineteen years have passed since I was born. It's like time has its own flow whenever each person is living in their own moment. Time is an illusion, they say. And I couldn't agree more. The time I spend locked inside my thoughts is never the same time someone else is spending locked inside theirs.

And I have reached a point of my state of mind that what keeps me up at night is not embarrassing moments from years ago anymore, but rather travelling through time. Going back to the first school I went, I can see myself walking the gate, entering the front door, I can see the stairs and my first classroom ever, - although we moved upstairs right the next year - going through another door is the canteen where we used to drink milk and eat our snacks, right next to it the kitchen where we made art crafts. I specifically remembering decorating mugs for father's day.

And then I go through another door and the light from the outside shines so bright deep on my memory. The first playground I ever played in since my memory works alongside my conscious brain. I see the trees we used to climb, and the half wall we used to lay on pretending it was the bed. I see the big flag posts I used to climb up high and thus got called a monkey by my peers, teachers and school staff.

Upgrading I can see my next school. Slightly bigger, but not much. My life was still good at this point. It's crazy how I can feel it so vividly and live it as if I am there as I write this down. I go through bigger, safer gates, but I wouldn't have to, as there is a park right next to it that gives me quick access to the school. There is some sort of garden that's never taken care of and again a half wall with square holes in it in which we used to play with the whole time. I remember walking around that school so much since the girls' thing was to "dar voltas à escola" like it was the most interesting thing to do. I see the inside and I'm almost sure I remember it exactly as it was. The place to hang our jackets, school bags and lunch bags, the bathrooms right next to it, the room we stayed in after school, at the end of the stairs there was a storage room right in the front, I remember this girl taking things from it without asking and wondering if that was something I should do, but do it anyway since it felt like I was accepted into something. To my left is the canteen, I have pretty bad memories there. Against milk and soup. Once I was forced to eat bread inside the soup and I was not happy about it. To my right from the stairs is the classroom we learned in. The desks and chairs all organised so we can be in pairs. I always sad down next to a girl who had the same name as I had. And we had a pretty big space at the side with counters on it. I remember using it once for when our English teacher sang us songs with his guitar.

Inside the classroom there was a door that connected to the other class right next to us.

I recall this one time I tried reciting a line from a Disney show when I wanted to be friends with the "popular kid" and failing miserably. As if I ever needed her in my life. If anything, going after her approval was the worst thing I could have done to myself. I remember being very close with a girl who shared my name, but the other girls shutting her off because she was too nice to me. And that led me to being left alone.

But at the same time, I had the best 9th birthday on that hall downstairs. All the kids picked me up and screamed three hoorays. I was emotional and I remember smiling from ear to ear with a tear falling down my cheek.

I remember when I didn't want to play with the girls and asked to join the boys. I wasn't very welcomed. Had my first big mouth bleeding after being pushed by one of the boys and fell with my face on the hard cement that was meant to be the football field. That day I also experienced my first unjustice. I went to tell on the boy to his teacher, but she told me she had seen everything and that I fell on my own. - Not to mention she called him an "angel". So I think you can understand why I was slightly satisfied when she went to the hospital with kidney problems. I didn't think this exact same way back then but it all sums up to the same: it was karma, bitch.

And another great memory I have from that school is us playing on the bars like it was a prison. It was the funniest play ever. Also, getting weirded out by a girl my age (probably 7 or 8) having perms and highlights. Listening to music on my first mp3. Cursing for the first time - and may I say, I am very proud that I knew from the start when to curse and when not to curse. I never disrespected an adult in this way. This school experience was a disaster. But a positive disaster.

Now my next school... That's when real trouble starts.

[surveyjunkie]

1. First of all, what do you prefer to be called? Tasha. 2. What is your favorite form of creative expression?  For me, it’s either blogging or painting. If I had any musical talent, it would be that. 3. How do you like your coffee OR if you don’t like it, why?: I take it with loads of flavored cream.  4. What is the least desirable thing, in your opinion, to put on a pizza that you have heard of people actually eating?: I guess anchovies...fish and pizza just don’t sound appetizing together. I’m also not big on putting chicken on pizza unless it’s chicken bacon ranch.  5. Would you rather witness the beginning or the end of the universe?: The beginning.

6. Describe your favourite pair of socks: They have the sailor moon bow on them. 

7. What is the current or last song you are listening/listened to, and does it have any special significance to you?: I don’t even remember what it was. I can’t find my headphones :(  8. Do you prefer rainbows or stars?: Stars 9. Describe the best day of your life NOT in terms of events, but in terms of your feelings: Elation.  10. Would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?: Aquarium. 11. Do you know the reason that 11:11 is considered to be auspicious?: No idea.  12. What decorations are hanging on your walls?: At home? There’s a couple of paintings I made, a framed Margarita recipe, and my Bachelor’s degree.  13. What is your favourite planet in our solar system?: Earth 14. How do you express love?: More through actions than words because I suck at talking about emotions. << 15. Do you consider yourself to be more spiritual or scientific?: Spiritual I guess.  16. If you had a lava lamp, what color would you want it to be?: Teal 17. Would you rather be able to revisit your past to simply re-experience a positive moment or revisit your past in order to change things and risk the consequences?: Maybe just re-experience a positive moment. I’m weird about the idea of changing things that have happened in the past, even though I have strong regrets. I feel like things wouldn’t be how they are now if I hadn’t had the unique experiences of the past. Idk.  18. Have you ever had a past-life regression or memory?: I remember when I first got braces, I told my mom that the feeling of having them felt familiar, even though I’d never had them before in my life. That’s the only indication I’ve had so far that I may have led a past life.  19. What is your favourite holiday and why?: Christmas. Family and food. << And eggnog/booze 20. Are you better with remembering dates or names?: Dates. I’m terrible with names.  21. What was your favourite book that you had to read for a class?: 1984.  22. What is your favourite number and why is it significant to you?: 7. It signifies my 7th year of life and the 7th grade, which were both great times for me.

23. Would you rather explore space or the ocean?: Space.  24. What prompted you to call the last person you called?: I missed her call so was calling her back. 25. Star Trek or Star Wars?: Wars. 26. Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?: LOTR. 27. What is your favourite band and why?: I have lots of favourites, because I can’t choose just one. << 28. What colour best resonates with your best friend(s)?: Navy blue or white.  29. Where do you work and why do you work there?: I work in the research office at the local hospital because they offered me a position that is relevant to my bachelor’s degree and will look extremely good on grad school applications.

30. Have you ever gone to a public karaoke facility, and what did you sing?: I’ve been to one, but I didn’t sing 31. What animal do you feel most connected with?: My dog. 32. Have you ever had “special brownies” or any other kind of “special” treat?: Yep, I didn’t care for them. I just prefer to smoke it.  33. What book are you reading at the moment?: None. 34. What is the funniest thing that you have done at a fast food restaurant? Probably when I fell asleep on my food when I was drunk.  35. Do you enjoy listening to music that is sung in another language?:

Yes, especially Spanish 36. Quote the last movie you watched: “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast” 37. Do you know more than just your sun sign (like your ascending sign or moon sign etc.)?: I’m not sure what that is 38. Do you have any jewelery on you that holds significance, and if so, what is it and why is it significant?: I have a couple of rings my mom bought for me on my birthday. One is a ruby ring which is my birthstone and the other has two small diamonds in it.  39. What is your favorite kind of cheesecake?: Peanut butter fudge 40. Why did you last feel warm and fuzzy inside?: Just cuddling with Josh.

41. What band that no longer performs together do you wish would have a reunion tour?: Pink Floyd.<< Yes. They came to my city back when I was in college and I was hoping my dad would take me, but he never did. I’m still salty as hell about it.  42. What band that IS still together do you wish would perform in your area?: Alt-J 43. Have you ever been in a band, and what role did you play in it?: Nope 44. What has been the single most frightening experience of your life?: I haven’t had anything too terrible. Most of them just involve minor car accidents, my car breaking down in the middle of the highway, or locking myself out of my apartment. They’re stressful scary things but I haven’t had anything that has caused trauma, which I’m thankful for.  45. Who is/was your favourite Spice Girl?: Baby Spice.  46. Do you prefer free verse or poetry set in a form?: It doesn’t matter to me 47. In a hotel, would you choose to go in the hot tub, the sauna, the workout room, or the pool?: The hot tub.  48. Imagine that you are exploring space. Who would you want with you and what would you want to explore, assuming you are not limited in any way?: I would want a bunch of trained astronauts with me. The idea of space freaks me out. <<  49. Have you ever astral projected?: Say what? 50. What is your favourite song by the group t.A.T.u?: Probably “All The Things She Said” because that’s the only other one I know besides “They’re Not Gonna Get Us”. 

51. Describe what you envision as “paradise”: Being on a boat in the middle of a lake with beer, a fishing pole, and good music. I think I may have been a redneck in another life, but I’m okay with that.  52. What element do you feel most connected to?: Water. 53. What is a cause that you feel very strongly about and why?: Keeping Planned Parenthood around. I just think low income women should have the same access to gynecological exams and life-saving procedures that rich women do. Defunding them is not going to stop abortion.  54. What was your favourite class from the last year that you were in school?: I really enjoyed Diversity and Health. I learned a lot about other cultures and how difficult access to healthcare is in other countries. I really think everybody should take that class.  55. What is a topic that you study independently for your own interest?: Politics or psychology, when I’m in the mood.  56. Describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another? A long white dress, probably lace with belled sleeves.  57. What song do you want played at your funeral?: "Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba.  58. Would you rather alphabetize or put things in order according to numbers?: Alphabetize 59. What medication do you dislike the most?: Antibiotics, they ruin my stomach.  60. Would you rather write a story or a poem?: Story. 61. Do you believe in non-physical entities, and if so have you ever communicated with one?: I don’t know if I do. I mean, I used to pray to God, but I’m not sure if that’s what you’re referring to.  62. What invention or discovery do you think that the scientific community should focus on?: I think they’re already focus on a lot of important priorities, like medical care, disease cure and treatment, etc. << Yeah. I work in medical research and I can tell you that we are extremely well funded. 

63. If you could go anywhere, where would you go and why?: Anywhere? I’d go explore the west coast because I’ve never been there in my 24 years as a U.S. citizen.  64. What skill do people often compliment you on?: I don’t know. I don’t have any skills.<< 65. What are three facets of your personality or thinking patterns that you want to improve?: Social anxiety, self-doubt, hastiness 66. What is your favourite symbol?: $$$ 67. Name an unusual shortcut or file that’s on your desktop: There’s nothing unusual on my desktop, unless you think my Doge background  is unusual, which if you do, FUCK YOU! Lol, just kidding. I don’t know.  68. What do you smell like right now?: Burberry Weekend 69. You get to have a theme party of your choice, just for fun. What theme do you choose?: 80′s! Even though it’s been done fifty billion times. I don’t care. 70. Have you ever been in the depths of a cave?: No 71. How do you deal with the dark side of yourself?: I listen to depressing music or watch fucked up movies.  72. Name something that you can’t help but save: Receipts.  73. What is your addiction?: Fries, pizza, online shopping 74. If you could wish something for three people, but not for yourself, who would the wishes be for and what would they be?: Health, happiness and money for everyone I love. << 75. Would you rather send a message in a bottle or on a balloon?: Balloon.  76. What did you dream last night?: I had a nightmare I was stabbed in the ghetto and ran to a guy in his car for help. I asked him to drive me to the hospital because I was bleeding a lot but he ended up taking me to the grocery store instead and made me wait for him to spend 10 minutes picking out fruit before he finally took me to the hospital.  77. What is one of your most frequent daydreams?: Quitting my job  78. What is your favourite stuffed animal?: My squirtle. 79. If you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?: I really don’t know.  80. If you could bring anyone back to life, who would it be?: My uncle 81. Are you affectionate?: Yes 82. Name one thing that each of your best friends is really good at: Smoking pot.  83. What are you a perfectionist with?: Certain things at work.  84. Could you see yourself being able to carry on a long distance relationship?: I did it for 6 months. Granted, we were within driving distance, but it was still hard. 85. If you could be anything but human, including anything mythical, what would you be?: A unicorn.  86. Have you ever meditated? If so, what is your method, and if not, what do you do to relax?: I’ve done it a couple of times, it doesn’t really help. Usually breathing exercises and hot tea help.  87. What is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?: I’m over analytical 

[trans-hunter-truther]

Ask me: all

JESUS answers under the cut hopefully bc holy shit [[READ MORE]]1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?I'll do cell phone since I'm on it right now: lock screen is a duck and her ducklings, home is sylveon2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?Nope3) What was your last text message?Tbh something personal to my friends expense so not gonna copy and paste 4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?I'd like to be helping my communities. I have several dreams... Photoshoots for trans kids, bringing ASL further into the spotlight and performing musicals in asl, making clothing lines for plus size and trans people5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?Cuddling in bed in some gay ass nerds arms 6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?Lmao I never really had 'cool' halloween costumes but the funniest definitely was this year where my friends and I all went as different aesthetics/ tropes- "emo" "hipster" "jock" stuff like that and then "space gay" "plant gay" and I was manic pixie dream girl 7) What was your favorite 90s show?"Friends" or "Freaks and Geeks" 8) Who was your last kiss?Ex and he forced me lmao so it was uncomfortable and my friend had to intervene9) Have you ever been stood up?I've been on like two dates in my life so no10) Favorite ice cream flavor?Chocolate with brownie chunks and fudge- so basically chocolate on chocolate on chocolate 11) Have you been to Las Vegas?Nop12) Your favorite pair of shoes?My Converse I hand painted a galaxy on 13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?Nope. One time someone grabbed me by the hair at the back of my head and kissed me and I shoved them off but I've never been an instigator 14) What is your favorite fruit?Pear or apple, I'm boring :v 15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?I already did that twice so... yes16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?Nope I'm Demisexual so hookups aren't a thing for me. Long term typically, but if I know it's really not working out I'm not afraid to end things. 17) Do you smoke? If so, what?Nop18) What do you do to get over your anger?Bike, mediative breathing, kick boxing 19) Do you believe in God?Eh? I believe in several deities and powers and ideals 20) Does the person you're in love with know it?I mean I'd hope so I've said it a million times 21) Favorite position?Cowgirl 22) What's your horoscope sign?ITS THE AGE OF AQUARIUS, THE AGE OF AQUARIUSSSSSSS- AQUIRIUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS...... AQUIRIUSSsSsSsS 23) Your fears?Being manipulated, being raped, someone breaking into my house, being followed, running into past people who have hurt me 24) How many pets do you have? What kind?Right now I just have Luna my cat who doesn't meow but just yells really loudly 25) What never fails to turn you on?Grabbing or biting 26) Your idea of a perfect first date?Seeing a movie, walking on the boardwalk and going to a fun restaurant (good food, not stuffy and fancy) and walking on the beach feeling the water and sand on our feet 27) What is something most people don't know about you?That I suffer/ed from an eating disorder and I'm mostly recovering 28) What makes you feel the happiest?Laughing with my friends 29) What store do you shop at most often?Does Amazon count or...? 30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?I think it's a way of showing you care about your partner and their pleasure so I'm for it; I like both 31) Do you believe in karma?I think that people should strive to do what they believe is right without harming others, but I don't think the universe goes around righting wrongs considering so many who do wrong never face punishment32) Are you single?Not really? I'm not officially in a relationship but I'm also not looking33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?I think that either one can serve as a good way to apologize in addition to an actual thought out apology; provided the flowers or candy are thought out 34) Are you a good swimmer?I've swam since I was like 6 months old so yes 35) Coffee or Tea?Depends, I love both though. Typically I only like homemade tea and cafe made coffee 36) Online shopping or shopping in person?Online shopping I hate irl shopping 37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?If I had to choose, older 38) Cats or Dogs?Both? I guess cats if I had to choose because I like cuddling 39) Are you a competitive person?Yeah but I try not to be by avoiding competition40) Do you believe in aliens?Definitely 41) Do you like dancing?Fuck yes I'm always dancing 42) What kind of music to you listen to?Honestly I listen to a really wide spread I like a little bit of everything, only thing I can't always get into is screamo and similar genres 43) What is your favorite cartoon character?Marinette maybe? I have many 44) Where are you from?Florida 45) Eat at home or eat out?Depends what I have st home lmao 46) How much more social are you when you're drunk?Don't know don't drink 47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?Rainbow boxers yesterday st pride! 48) Why do you think your followers follow you?Memes 49) How many hours do you sleep at night?Typically 6 50) What worries you most about the future?Succeeding in my field 51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?I would drop them so fast fuck 52) Are you happy with yourself?I think mostly I am 53) What do you wish you didn't know?Knowledge is power so I don't regret that, I only wish certain things hadn't happened perhaps 54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?Recognize when you're being manipulated and stay true to yourself 55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?Maybe the Gilmore house from Gilmore girls? It's such s beautiful house and I love the aesthetic of the town 56) What's your favorite Website?Shopmissa if not a social media website 57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?Cutting58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?I think Gainesville s few months ago for my sisters graduation 59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?2.50 blazers at good will 60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?Dumpling soup, egg rolls, crab Rangoon 61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?I already am sort of, kali and cali(fornia) if not I guess Dakota? It's a pretty name 62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?History, psychology, sexed, or any kind of art lmao? 63) Favorite kind of chips?Sour cream and onion or plain salted kettle cooked chips 64) Favorite kind of sandwich?Turkey, muenster, honey mustard etc 65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?Dictionary 66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?Nope I've never been hurt by any animal67) What's your favorite form of exercise?Dance or swimming 68) Are you afraid of heights?Maybe a little but not really 69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?Informal geometry it was a fuckin messssssss 70) What's your favorite breakfast?Waffle, eggs, toast, hash browns, coffee, bacon. Aka what I get every time o go to Waffle House 71) Do you like guacamole?Fuck yeah72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?Not really no, I've been hit though 73) What/who are you thinking about right now?Not gonna lie I'm just thinking about how periods suck but I'm so glad I'm not pregnant 74) Do you like cuddling?Most of the time yeah but I have to be very comfortable with that person 75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?Probably I have a lot of trauma 76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?Almost all of them77) Favorite city you've been to?Gainesville, it's so beautiful 78) Would you break the law to save a family member?Depends on the law and depends on the family member- maybe for my older siblings 79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?Oh god I had one yesterday. So I was with friends and I was taking a bunch of pictures and my friend next to me and I starting goofing around and I took a bunch of silly pictures of them and after they grabbed my phone and deleted them and then went to my deleted photos and I was screaming for them to give back my phone and like I'm 99% sure they saw my personal photos I had in there sooo I wanted to die 80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?LGBT rights, Deaf rights, Autistic and Aspergers people's rights, Black lives matter 81) What's the worst injury you've ever had?I had to get a really shitty surgery in an emergency hospital for an abscess on my labia minora and I was screaming in agony with no anesthesia as doctors flooded in and out. It was really traumatic and painful 82) Favorite day of the week?Saturday. I get to sleep in, be productive in the morning, hang out with friends, have time for myself, and it's very stress free 83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?Very, even though I'm Demi once I am comfortable with someone I'm open to try anything almost and I have a lot of kinks 84) How do you feel about porn?I think that while the industry is fucked up and corrupt I support sex workers and sex work in general as a form of entrepreneurship 85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?Maybe Emma stone? 86) Who was your hottest ex?I haven't dated a lot of people really but someone who isn't quite an ex? 87) Do you want/have kids?Not sure. I've gone back and forth but I know I want to experience my life first before I do anything. 88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?Yes89) Do you get easily distracted?YES90) Ass or titties?titties all the way 91) What is your favorite word?Prejudice 92) How do you feel about tattoos?I think they're a beautiful art form 93) Do you have any pets?Yes 94) How tall are you?5'2 and a half 95) How old are you?17 96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?Eyes, boobs, ass 97) Is there anything you're really passionate about?Activism and cosmetology 98) Do you have trust issues?Yeahhhh a little bit not gonna lie99) Do you believe in love at first sight?No not really? I think that you can have attraction but you have to get to know someone to love them 100) What are some words that you live by? Why?Everything happens for a reason. Because while shitty things happen in our lives we can learn from them to make the world a better place. I've had a lot of shitty things happen to me and they have only driven me further in life to help others.