#the friend identified as a girl at the time tho it's not like we knew there were other options available

[natsuyuki-w]

Not one of the boys

Twisted wonderland cast realizes that (Yuu) is a girl.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 Featuring: Grim - Trey - Adeuce - Tsunotaro, Cater and Riddle

Dumb human

- Hyiiii! It's really coming down! - Appeared the monster out of nowhere. - ARGH! Grim! - I jumped almost stumbling on the dusty sofa. - Gyahahahaha! You've got this stupid look on your face like... Whaaaaaa but you're a girl! - He panicked watching my shirt.

To dust the abandoned building, I had thrown off the ceremonial cape leaving me with a tight black shirt.. - Yes,... I identify as one at least. What about it? - His face gradually relaxed and he put a paw under his chin. - I dunno. I only saw boys, just thought you were one as well. - he shrugged. Thinking back to the faces I met in the mirror chamber, it could've been true. Tho there were many people, hooded furthermore, and there was no way of knowing if somebody was another gender instead.

- Yes I've decided.- piped the grey cat. - Nothing has changed, you're still a weak dumb human. -

- How many colorful titles am I going to get in the close future? -

Chestnuts

- Talking about husband material. - with the basket of chestnuts in hand, I gushed eying all the goodies in the kitchen prepared by the third year. Trey chuckled lightly - If you say so.- strangely enough, the comment hit differently from when his friends teased him about it.

Cater's words came to his mind: "Much like the new Pomefiore kid, (Yuu)Chan is a very cute boy."

- Lah - I clipped back Deuce's hair just like I did with mine. - Now we are ready! - and I struck a power pose. Trey looked at me for a good moment, mind wandering, cheeks reddening. His Heartslabyul companion was getting into his head.

---

With that tart involved, I knew it was going to end like this. - (Yuu)!!! Stop it. - slapped my hand Ace - I need them for the cake, do you want me to stay like this forever???- he pointed to the collar on his neck. - You are such a drama-king, there are probably 10 kilos of them. - I pouted - This is just the rightful prize for...Ouch! - he flicked my nose this time. Chestnuts were a weakness of mine and even tho it was a very boring and laborious task, Ace was considering switching and shelling them himself.

He snatched the one I just finished cleaning and dropped it in the pile - Junkie! - he threw a judging gaze. - Yes okay? I admit it. Hi, my name is (Yuu), I'm 18 years old, and it's since last November that I haven't tasted, this delicious fruit of the devil. - I chanted.

- Fruit of the devil? - asked Grim. - Yeah..., where I live, chestnuts have been said to be a gift from God to the people of the mountains, but that has been cursed by the devil, making them difficult to bring and eat.- - Ah-ha! - looked at me weirdly the cat.

- As I, mere mortal, can't look upon this gift... OUCH - a slap, this time on my nape. - Are you going to just punish me or do you intend to make yourself useful for YOUR apology cake? - I bit.

- Kids, calm down. - teased Trey posing his large hands on our heads - but (Yuu) has a point, Ace. - inquired. And scolded by the older student, the angry first year started working alongside me scrutinizing my every move.

---

After finishing the laborious job, I stood to go asking what we needed to do next, but before, I spun fast, aiming for my drug.

Unfortunately, Trey was quicker, and from behind me, he managed to grab the bowl and hold me back with his long arms. When his hand got hold of my waist, I felt him tense briefly, but he recomposed, looking down at me with his ears turning a tinge of red. - No more falling into temptation, okay (Yuu)? - he commented, lingered for just a moment, and then proceeded to give us instructions.

- What was that? - whispered Ace to me. - What? - I asked dumbfounded. - WHA??? You haven'...sigh...WHATever.- and he left

- What? -

---

- Do that thing you do, Trey-kun. - said Cater. The boy arrived just to snatch a couple of photos and enjoy our labor. -..., oh that! What are your favorite things to eat guys? - asked the other third-year. And after he listened and chanted "doodle suit", we all bitted into the slices again. Everyone was surprised and cheery about the unexpected flavor. My mind on the other hand went into a tantrum of emotions, and soon big juicy tears were streaming down my face.

- This is Trey-kun's unique magic. Don't you think it'd work super well on a date with a girl? - commented the boy winking and wrinkling the diamond seed on the cheek.

The rivers running from my eyes wouldn't stop. I quietly turned around hoping to cover it from the others, but Trey, who was right next to me, caught sight of my face - (Yuu)...what happened? Have I messed up yours? - he posed a comforting hand on my back. I shook my head and tried denying my poor state with sobs choking each word. -N-no no! I-*hick* it's perfect. A-and don't *sniff worry-y I'm just a baby. - I felt pathetic.

- You definitely are not doing well tho. - - I-it's just...I think I-I'm feeling homesick 'fro-om the taste. - I admitted in a murmur. Pushing me a little he looked where he could find some tissues, but after seeing that it wasn't getting better, he tried the bold move of hugging me.

Welcoming the comfort, I moved my arms from my face to the back of his shirt mumbling - I'm so sorry. - but too caught by my storm of emotions, I didn't realize the implications of my chest pressed against him.

His body went stiff like a wooden plank once again, but after a heavy gulp, he managed to relax. "Perhaps (Yuu) isn't a cute boy after all." He was going to take the information for himself.

Hook up???

- Excuse my intrusion. - said Deuce who came along to keep an eye on Ace. - Make yourself at home. - I smiled warmly. - the bathroom is here, I'll go up and take the mattress. Ace, do you want to sleep on the couch again? - - My back hurts just thinking about it. - he groaned.

- Let us give you a hand Prefect! - followed Deuce grabbing his companion by the wrist. - Hey, hey I'm coming... geez - he almost fell from the cramped stairs. - Hahaha, thank you. - I waved them up. - I'll seriously start to tie up this weekend. I'm sorry but for now, my guest room is the lounge. - and I invited them to my shared bedroom. - Don't worr...- the raven boy froze in place.

- What's up? - and I followed his eyes. - Ups... - my laundry was still folded on the sheets and, obviously, my bra was on top of the pile. - I can exp...- -I KNOW RIGHT? I never noticed until yesterday! - exclaimed Ace. - Gyahahaha, you should've seen him: "HOW DARE YOU LYING TO ME LIKE THAT, WOMAN?". So lame. - Grim cackled nudging the boy's leg, but no reactions came out of him.

- ACE, GRIM DAMN IT! I was ready with a bunch of excuses! - - Oh yeah, like? - they asked incredulously. - This Gremlin pranked me? I snatched a hook-up? I like wearing women's clothes or I'm a Drag queen?...-

- THOSE EXCUSES ARE EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING THAN THE TRUTH! - Screamed back at me the ginger. I glared very disappointed but before I could insult his bigotry he inquired - And a hookup? How in hell would you find a girl to hook up with? - - Mhpf... - I pouted offended - I AM a pretty boy! Cater's words. I could find a girl easily if only I would.-

- (Yuu)...- Finally Deuce snapped out of his daze and spoke with a quiet voice. - ...you are a girl... - and a little hurt asked - Why didn't you tell us? - I had the impression this was starting to become a talk of routine. - Crowley asked me to keep it a secret, but honestly...Well, is not like I needed to tell anything. Do you present yourself as "Deuce, a man, nice to meet you." - I acted - Till the headmaster warned me I don't recall occasions where my gender got questioned...other than Grim on the first day here. -

He was trying to Think how to take the situation, and that operation was successful just as mixing water with oil. - Look - I posed a hand on his shoulder before his brain started fuming - I wanna be friends with you all, it's not like I act any different either way, it's always me. Just covering more than I would usually. I mean, if it's awkward for you guys, I would be very sad, but I'll...accept it and I'll take my distan...- And he exchanged with a stern hold of my shoulder. - No! You're right! I wanna still be friends with you. And don't worry - he puffed his chest holding his fist on it - I'll be sure your secret will not be spilled further! -

- Awww thank you Deuce, you're such a sweetheart.-  - Mmmm... - he nodded but quickly turned to face the other way - SORRY...can't help it,.... that name hits differently now. - his face was red as a tomato.

---

They sat on their mattress while I was on the couch with Grim lying in my lap. - So in order, Grim was the first one, then the headmaster...when? - - After I gave him the crystal of the Dwarf's mine. - and I mimicked dramatically - One moment he was: "I'll grant you the honor of attending our majestic academy. Go and make me proud son." then he saw and he was: "WHAT'S A CHICK DOING IN MY OFFICE?". - The events may be inaccurate...- muttered the gray cat and I shushed him.

- How many others know? - asked Deuce. - You two,... I think?- - I bet, Trey-senpai. - inquired Ace. - Why? - - He was SO all over you. - he smirked. - All over...didn't notice. - delicious chestnuts were the only thing I could recall - And how do you know he doesn't like boys? - - Yeah exactly - supported me Deuce. - Cater said something about his unique magic being great with the girls so I am assuming.- shrugged the ginger. - He has a point! - quickly changed sides his companion.

Intruders

Me and Grim prepared ourselves for another day of investigations into the mysterious incidents. On the path to the school, I sum up my late-night talking with the mysterious stranger.

-...and I saw those green sparks and this big shadow out of the widow. So I opened it and there was this Huge stunning boy with dark horns on his head. So I was like: " Intruder!" and he was like: "A child of man? Though, aren't you the intruder little lady? " - I imitated his tone - Obviously, I was wearing the crop top and not one of the XXL shirts - and Grim cackled.

- So I went out, 'cause I didn't want to wake you and I told him the all I'm here cause blah blah, don't tell anybody etcetera. So I asked him why he strolled around our dorm? And he said he was there cause he likes exploring ruins, and now we ruined his ruin, cause the abandoned building is no longer abandoned.-

- Rude! - - A little...- - So who was he?- - Wait I'm getting there! - We stopped waiting for our favorite duo. - I asked him and he was all weird about it. At first, astonished, and then he laughed and said " I'd rather you remain unaware". - - Suspicious! - whispered Grim. - "It's for your own benefit. Instead, I will permit you to call me by the name of your choosing." - and I got closer to the cat to add drama -" Although you may one day regret it..."-

We looked at each other and grinned mischievously. - Oooh, oooh let me pick it! - exclaimed Grim - Howsabaout...Tsunotaro! - I couldn't help but giggle. - I was thinking "Hornton", but yours works well. Can't wait to see his face when I tell him.-

He then pondered - If Tsunotaro's a student here who knows when we might run into him? If we do, introduce me! I've never seen a human with horns before.- - G'morning, Prefect. - jumped Cater from behind us and threw an arm around my shoulders.

- Cater don't be so touchy - frowned slightly Riddle, and the older student complied disappointed. - But (Yuu)Chan is soft, I like giving hugs to my kohai.- I chuckled embarrassed - Good morning to you Cater, and hello Riddle. How is Trey doing? - - Better, he's slowly but surely recovering thanks to Crewel's potions and nurses' caring. - responded the redhead.

He then looked intensely - Mmh your tie is a little off from the assault. - frowned Riddle - Following the rules starts with your attire. Or else your residents will never listen to you...Although, I guess it's not as bad for you being the only one. - inquired the head of Heartslabyul.

I looked down and out of the corner of my eye, I could see the third year smirking. Before I knew it Riddle had his hands on my clothes, the back of his hand brushing on my chest. I stood still, too stunned to make a move. "Wow (Yuu) is very broad." thought the short boy. - Riddle-San... You are unfair, first telling me not to be touchy with her, and now look at you. -

It took some time for the both of us to register his phrase and still holding onto my tie he twisted his head and stuttered - W-what have you just said? - - *damn it... Ha-ha. Why? Did he say something weird? - I tried to play dumb hoping Cater would doubt his words. Unfortunately, my body was not as much of a good actor, and the boy's green eyes immediately spotted my shade of red. - I said: it's unfair you can be touchy with Her. -

The dorm leader looked back at me and a million thoughts passed through his big eyes, realizing everything at once. Quickly became red from head to toe, then threw himself back in a mess of sorries - I didn't know! Since when?... -

Incredulous, Grim asked - HOW DID YOU KNOW S...*MPHF - I quickly covered his mouth to avoid the entirety of the front yard eavesdropping. - Trey-kun told me! - winked Cater. - And since when Trey knya about it???- exclaimed again the cat. - Since the Mont Blanc tart! He was all over you so I asked and he confessed his suspicions. -

- Ace said the same thing... Dang, I'm in debt with that dummy...- I mumbled recalling his bet. - Was I the only one ignoring this fundamental fact??? - snapped Riddle still full red. - I don't know,...(Yuu)? - the third year quickly threw the fireball at me. - Well, there is Grim, the headmaster, who by the way, was the one saying it would've been troublesome letting this information known. - I explained - Then Ace discovered, Deuce, Trey as it seems, and Cater too, Tsunotaro, and now you! - I listed. - I think...- - Tsuno-Who? - asked the two members of Heartslabyul. - Ah, a new encounter I made yesterday. -

- So you're telling me, someone, you just met, knew it before me???- and the tinge of red on the king of hearts, changed from fluster to anger.

Till reading the manga I thought Cater's name was "Carter" instead.

Not just because it sounded better in my head, but because "Carte" in Italian means "Cards".

[mythicalmaven]

Beyond Boundaries - Oscar Piastri (PART SEVEN)

Masterlist

Time for chapter 7! The chapter I am sure that a lot of you have waited for! Hehe! I also added a few social media elements into the chapter, which I think turned out nice! But, don't worry, it's still mostly just words <3 and I'm honestly OBSESSED with this chapter! Can’t wait for chapter 8!

↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!norris!reader ↳word count: 5K ↳chapters in this series: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, ↳chapter warnings: friends to lovers, brothers teammate trope, bestfriend!reader, fluff, smut, NSFW, 18+ content (mdni!), fingering, handjob, praising, explicit sexual content!, sex, p in v, first time together

↳series summary: Since Oscar joined McLaren as your brother’s teammate, you two have quickly become best friends. Recently promoted to be Oscar’s physiotherapist, you both relish the opportunity to spend more time together. However, as the new role brings you closer, you both realize you might be feeling more a little more for each other than just friendship

The sun peeked through the curtains of Oscar's bedroom when you felt yourself slowly waking up, slowly opening your eyes, you realized you were still laying in Oscar's bed, without Oscar tho. He must have gotten out of bed earlier.

You reached for your phone on the nightstand next to the bed. Immediately noticing two text notifications, one from Lando and one from Oscar.

You clicked on Oscar's text and smiled as you read it. He texted you good morning, as well as saying he was downstairs to grab the both of you some coffee. It was cute, the effort he was putting into everything.

After you replied to Oscar that you just woke up, thanked him for the coffee and told him that you'd see him in a bit, you opened your text notification from your brother, immediately knowing something was up, so you start typing back to him

After your last text, you immediately opened Instagram, typing the designated username in your search bar. Once you've reached their profile, you click on the post to check the pictures from up close.

You honestly had no idea what to do now. The PR team was gonna be very very busy to fix this whole ordeal, because you either had to come up with some very devious lie to convince people that you were not the girl in question or you had to convince people that the boy in question wasn't Oscar. And to be fair, neither of them seemed like a an achievable solution.

You kept staring at the comments, reading them all. Some even more shocking than the other. Let's just say that this was not the way you expected to wake up after a night of sleeping in Oscar's childhood home.

Talking about Oscar, he just walked back into his room, confronted with your blown pupils and beet red face.

"Are you okay?" Oscar asked placing the two cups of coffee on his nightstand, before carefully sitting down on the edge of the bed, looking towards you "You're bright red, are you feeling sick?" he asked, worry lacing his tone.

You shook your head and handed Oscar your phone, showing his the post you've been staring at for the past 5 minutes.

f1gossip

liked by username1, username2 and others

f1gossip Oscar Piastri spotted making out with a mystery girl right outside a nightclub in Melbourne last Sunday👀 The girl has not been identified yet, but according to a few sources, the mystery girl might be none other than Y/n Norris (featured in the last picture), considering she was seen leaving the same nightclub as Oscar and her outfit potentially matches the one from the mystery girl👀

tagged: oscarpiastri and yourusername

view all comments

username1 EXCUSE ME

f1.content.2024 Holy fuck man, we knew that Oscar was a hot lad, but him making out looks even hotter🫠

user8290 no one can convince me that this isn't y/n😱 ↳ oscarpiastrifan81 I KNOW RIGHT ↳ username2 i don't know about you, but i kinda ship it

f1addict231 i can guarantee you, that is not Y/n Norris😂 ↳ user437 hahaha are you blind? ↳ norrisgirlie290 girl, even a blind person could recognize y/n in this

username3 Oscar dating Lando's little sister, y'all are delusional🤨

user41 no clue who she is, but i'm her now😍 ↳ username9183 for real tho, when I saw this i was like: GIRL, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM

piastrisgirl21 I highly doubt that's her 👀🤔

"Oh fuck" he muttered, feeling a little embarrassed by the fact that the press had caught them. They would have been fine if it they limited their kissing to just inside the hotel room, since there was pretty much no media there, but both of them apparently were too drunk to realize that kissing outside of the club was everything but smart.

Oscar must admit tho, that aside from the shame he was feeling of getting caught, seeing the pictures of them also making butterflies rise in his stomach. An immediate blush creeping onto his face.

"What should we do?" you asked, sounding a little nervous.

Oscar didn't really know either, not sure at least "Well, I think we should at least call my PR manager, because I honestly have no idea what else is smart"

"What do we say to her tho?" you wondered, not really knowing how to come up with a solution that would work.

"Well, we've gotta decide if we wanna lie to her and just say that it was me with another girl" he suggested, pursing his lip a little nervous "Or we tell her the truth, and just tell her that it indeed was us. But that we were wasted and did something stupid"

Before you had the time to process your emotions and react to it, Oscar felt his phone ring. He reached inside his pocket and took out his phone "Speaking of the devil.." he began, nervously looking at his phone "What do I tell her?" he stammered, wanting to be sure that you agree with what he was going to say.

"It's okay, Osc. I'm fine with both" you replied, before quickly getting up from the bed "While you answer that phone call, I'll go to the bathroom real quick" you said, before walking towards his bathroom.

Once you were out of sight, Oscar pressed the button to accept the call, lifting the phone to his ear "Hello" he softly spoke.

"OSCAR PIASTRI, for fucks sake. Care to explain?" he heard her ask on the phone. She was agitated, that was clear and totally understandable "And don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, because it's all over social media. And with Y/n?"

Oscar sighed, knowing that they have been stupid. Still contemplating on what he should tell her. If he should be honest or if he should come up with a lie. He continued to listen to his pr manager rambling about the fact that she expected these things from Lando, but not from him. And that they were already busy enough with Lando's way of presenting himself in public sometimes, that she didn't feel like having the same issue with Oscar too.

Oscar took a deep breath, before looking down at his lap "It's all just a big misunderstanding. The girl in the pictures with me is not Y/n. They were just coincidentally wearing similar clothing" he lied, his face feeling warm, because he absolutely hated lying "I was drunk and made a mistake, I admit that in all honesty. But the girl in the picture is not Y/n.."

"You honestly expect me to believe that? Everyone that knows Y/n, can recognize her. The tattoo on the back of her arm is showing in one of the pictures, Oscar..." she said, immediately seeing right through his lie "Any random girl would be totally fine, that would have gave me a lot less work, but Y/n of all people. This could cause a big dent in both of your public images, because this is highly unprofessional. Kissing your co-worker while you're wasted. And let's not even get started on the fact that it is your teammates younger sister"

"I'm sorry" he muttered, feeling incredibly embarrassed by the whole ordeal "We were both wasted and I don't know what came over us, okay? It was stupid, we made a mistake, but it's a little too late for that now"

"You don't have to say sorry to me, you're doing this to yourself. Please just make sure this doesn't happen again, okay? " she explained, slowly starting to calm down and starting to be a little bit more compassionate "I know that you can't choose who you're attracted to and that being drunk can make you do senseless things, but please remember that you guys both have a public image that you need to keep up. You both can't afford to damage that, just because you two can't keep your tongues out of each others throats in public"

"No worries, it won't happen again. We were wasted, it was just a one time thing" he replied, defeat lacing his tone "What should we do about these articles?" he asked her, wondering if she had an idea.

"Well, regarding the press, for now nothing. The less attention we give it, the less suspicious it seems. The media will find a way to throw you under the bus anyway" she said, pausing for a deep breath "But regarding McLaren, you both better come up with a very good explanation. Because Zak is gonna kill you both, when he finds out"

"I don't even want to think about that" he whined.

"Well me neither" she said, a small laugh leaving her lips "Now, thanks for the clear up. Take some time to let this all sink in and I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

Oscar sighed and agreed with her, apologizing again for the stupid mistake, before ending the phone call.

He threw himself down on his bed, opening his messages to text Logan, but quickly saw that he already had a text from him. Since you were gone to the toilet anyway, he felt like he had a little time to text with him.

Oscar put his phone down next to him when he saw you walking in, shooting him a small reassuring smile.

"How did it go?" you asked as you walked back into his bedroom, jumping onto his bed again, seating yourself down next to him, your back resting against the headboard.

He shifted his gaze towards you "Well, that could have gone worse" he said, quickly explaining to you what they discussed.

"Yeah, still mad at myself for letting this happen" you said, disappointment lacing your tone, trying to avoid eye contact "It shouldn't have happened"

Oscar felt a pang in his heart "Do you mean that you regret that we've kissed, or?" he asked uncertainly, afraid of your answer.

You shook your head "No, you idiot" you shot at him, immediate relief entering Oscars body "You know, that call you just had proved yet again that it's just smarter that we stay friends and don't date, it just makes things too complicated. It shouldn't have happened, but it did, nothing we can change about that" you explained to him, honesty in your voice "But the fact that it shouldn't have happened, doesn't mean that I don't feel what I feel"

"So, no I'm not regretting it at all, none of the things we did that night" you said softly, glancing back up at Oscar. "And to be truthful, I don't think I've ever had an orgasm that intense before," you admitted quietly.

Oscar felt a rush of heat, arousal stirring instantly, feeling himself getting hard already. It was almost embarrassing how easily you could affect him. Just a few words from you, and he was a mess, like a teenager all over again. He couldn't help it.

A small smirk crept onto his face, proud of himself for making you feel that way. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love making you feel good," he admitted, unintentionally using the present tense. He hoped you wouldn't notice. It was true; if he had the chance to make you feel good again, he would in a heartbeat.

He looked down at his lap, nerves returning. "I feel the same way, by the way. Your mouth felt incredible. It's by far the best I've ever had," he confessed, feeling a bit vulnerable about being so candid. "I came so quickly, it was embarrassing. I felt like a teenager again, struggling not to blow my load within a minute."

You chuckled lightly, honestly feeling a little honored about it, turning your head to look at him. "I think it's cute, I see it as a compliment" your voice a soft whisper, trying to avoid looking at his lips. You really wanted to kiss him, but you knew you shouldn't. Those last few words being ignore a hand full of times already.

"I was actually a bit insecure beforehand. I really wanted to make you feel good but was so afraid I wouldn't be any good at it, you know?"

"You? Not good at it? It was amazing," he reassured you.

The whole conversation stirred feelings in Oscar that he had tried so hard to suppress, but it was no use. Seated with his back against the wall, he glanced down at his lap. He was fully hard now, the outline of his erection clearly visible in his shorts. Oscar quickly moved his hands over his lap, trying to cover his arousal, hoping to make it seem like he was just more comfortable that way. The pressure of his hands only enough made his dick twitch involuntarily.

You noticed the flush on his face getting more evident. You glanced down at his hands, obviously trying to hide his predicament.

"You're hard, aren't you?" you asked, gently biting your lip. Your sense of reasoning began to fade again, and you were on the verge of ignoring the words: 'we shouldn't.'

"Yeah, I'm so sorry" Oscar apologized, letting out a sigh. "It's just that talking about it, made the memories resurface again"

You scooted a bit closer to him, slowly moving your hand towards his, which were still trying to cover up his arousal. Your fingers carefully slipped under his hand, giving his hard-on a firm but gentle squeeze. "Don't hide it," you whispered.

Oscar let out a soft moan, the mere feeling of your hand on him enough to drive him wild. He moved one hand to grab onto the mattress. He hesitated, everything in him wanting this. But a voice in the back of his mind reminded him of your words, the hand that was still covering yours gently squeezed your hand, before moving it upwards, his fingers carefully wrapping around your wrist, trying to pull your hand away from his member.

"Y/n, we shouldn't," he said, much against his own desires, wanting to respect the boundary you had set. One that he knew you were probably only ignoring in the heat of the moment.

"Shouldn't we, or don't you want to?" you asked, using your other hand to remove his fingers from your wrist one by one, before placing it onto his abdomen, your hand slowly making its way back down where he needed it most, palming him through his shorts. He moaned at the feeling, squeezing the bedsheets tighter with his free hand. "I know you want to, Osc."

"I don't want you to regret this, baby," he whispered, putting his own needs aside, focusing on your feelings instead.

You turned onto your side a little, moving your lips close to his neck, before pressing a soft kiss against his skin. A small smirk formed on your face when you saw the little goosebumps appear on his neck, a soft whimper escaping his lips when you palmed him with a bit more pressure.

"I would never regret pleasing you, Osc," you said, your lips now next to his ear. "How could I regret being intimate with you? Look at you, you're so hot. And the sounds you make when I please you... God, you make the hottest sounds. It makes me so wet, Osc."

"F-fuck..." Oscar let out a loud moan, clasping his hand over his mouth to prevent the others in the house from hearing him. He felt his dick twitch inside his shorts, involuntarily bucking his hips against your hand. Your words alone almost made him cum right then and there.

"Just have a little fun with me, Osc. No strings attached, okay?" you suggested, your lips traveling back down to his neck, peppering it with seductive kisses.

You had found his weak spot, the thing that made Oscar lose his mind. The thing that made his self-control crumble to pieces. He caved, giving in to his strongest desires.

Without a word, he shifted his position, now sitting on his knees in front of you. His hands slid to the back of your thighs, gripping them firmly as he pulled you further down the bed, until your were laying down completely. You lay back, your heart racing, anticipation building as he climbed on top of you. Oscar pinned you down, his big hand wrapping around both of your wrists, securing them above your head, while he used his other hand to cup your cheek.

"Please don't stop. It's so hot when you talk to me like that," he murmured, his voice thick with desire.

His words sent a shiver down your spine, leaving you flustered and desperate for more. Your arousal was evident, and Oscar noticed, feeling a surge of confidence and satisfaction. The sight of you beneath him, eager and responsive, made him feel all kinds of things—powerful, needed, and deeply connected to you in this intense moment

You looked up at him, locking eyes with his. His pupils were dilated, his desire unmistakable. The intensity of the moment made you let out a soft moan as you maintained eye contact. Oscar’s lips descended to your neck, pressing against it and sending shivers down your spine.

Deciding to heed his earlier words, you began to recount the details of the night you spent together last Sunday, confident it would only fuel his desire further. As Oscar's lips found that sweet spot on your neck, you moaned, "F-Fuck, Oscar, just like that," your voice low and sensual as your hands struggled against his grip on your wrists. "It feels so good, just like Sunday night."

"You feel incredible against me, Osc," you murmured, referring to the way his arousal pressed against you as he hovered above. Both of you still fully clothed.

Oscar groaned, his hips moving slowly against yours in a rhythmic grind, seeking more from you. He slid his hand beneath your shirt, cupping your bra-covered breast. You responded with a moan, "Yes, Osc, just like that."

Oscar's moans mingled with kisses on your neck, his breath faltering at your words. He paused, then said "Fuck, baby, you're so hot"

You let out a shaky breath, fueled with arousal "You made me feel so amazing, Osc. Your lips on my neck, your fingers filling me up—you're so hot. It felt incredible."

He moaned louder, his hand moving away from your breast to the back of your neck and into your hair, tugging slightly. "You know what I loved even more, Osc?" you asked seductively.

"Tell me, baby," he almost growled, his breath ragged, his arousal throbbing with need. His teeth grazed your neck, eliciting another moan from you.

"I loved sucking you off, Osc. You're so big, you made me feel so full" you chanted as the arousal started to pool between your legs more and more, the way he was responding to your words fueling you with desire "I loved to way you pulled on my hair when I sucked you off, baby. It made me so wet" you spoke, the nickname escaping your lips, fully intentional. Knowing that it would make him go insane.

Oscar let the moans escape his lips without holding back, feeling himself getting even more turned on than he already was. The way you talked to him made him lose control and you knew it. It was exactly what you wanted "The sounds you made when I had my lips wrapped around you, god. It was so hot. The way you moaned out my name when you came, god, it made me come untouched" you said, knowing that he was about the snap any moment.

Oscar couldn't hold back any longer and crashed his lips against yours, capturing you in a passionate and lustful kiss. His lips moved in perfect harmony with yours, his tongue licking your bottom lip, asking for entrance, which you gladly granted. The kiss deepened, growing hotter and more intense. Your tongues intertwined, exploring each other with fervent desire.

Oscar released your wrists, and your hands immediately traveled to his neck, one of them diving into his hair and pulling gently. He moaned into your mouth, the sound vibrating through you and making your desire spike. His hands roamed your body, fingers trailing over your curves, squeezing your waist, and sliding up your sides. His touch was everywhere, igniting your skin with every caress.

You broke the kiss for a moment to catch your breath, both of you panting heavily. "Can I take this off?" Oscar asked, his voice husky as he tugged at the hem of your shirt. You nodded, and he quickly pulled it over your head, tossing it aside. Not wasting any time, you tugged his shirt off as well, your hands exploring the newly exposed skin of his chest and shoulders.

Oscar's hands moved to the waistband of your shorts, and with a questioning glance, he asked for permission. You nodded again, breathless with anticipation. He slid your shorts down, and then removed his own, leaving both of you in your underwear.

Hovering over you once more, Oscar ground his hips against yours, the friction sending waves of pleasure through both of you. He lifted his hips a little, to allow him to slip his hand between your legs, fingers teasing you through the fabric of your panties. You moaned, your back arching in response to his touch.

"Oscar, please," you whispered, your voice filled with need.

"Anything for you," he murmured back, his lips finding yours again in another searing kiss. His fingers slid beneath your panties, and you gasped at the intimate contact, the heat between you both growing unbearable "Fuck, you're so wet for me already"

"Yes, Osc, all for you," you panted, the tension between your legs quickly building as Oscar worked your clit in perfect circles. "Your fingers feel like magic, Osc."

"Yeah?" he asked breathlessly, his voice thick with desire. "You like that, baby? You like my hands on you?"

"God, yes," you moaned, your hips bucking against his hand. "Don't stop, please don't stop."

Oscar's lips brushed against your ear, his breath hot and heavy. "I won't, baby. I love making you feel good."

As his fingers continued their expert movements, your hand slid down to palm him through his boxers. Oscar groaned, his hips pushing into your hand. "Fuck, that feels amazing," he whispered, his voice strained with pleasure.

"Just like that, Osc," you encouraged, your voice a mixture of moans and gasps. "Keep touching me, don't stop."

His fingers sped up, the pressure and rhythm driving you closer to the edge. "You're so wet for me," he murmured, his lips trailing down your neck. "So perfect. I want to feel you come on my fingers."

"Fuck, Osc," you cried out, your body trembling as the tension inside you coiled tighter. "I'm so close, please."

"I've got you, baby," he assured, his voice soothing yet filled with lust. "Come for me. Let go, just for me."

With a few more skillful strokes, your climax hit hard, waves of pleasure crashing through you. "God.. Oscar!" you moaned out, your body arching as you rode out the intense orgasm. Your hand tightened on him, and he moaned in response, his own arousal evident.

"That's it, baby," he praised, his fingers slowing but still working you through your release. "You're so beautiful when you come."

As the last tremors of pleasure faded, you collapsed back onto the bed, breathing heavily. Oscar pulled his hand away, bringing his fingers to his lips and licking them clean, his eyes locked onto yours. "You taste amazing," he said, his voice rough with desire.

You reached up, pulling him into a deep, hungry kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. "Your turn," you whispered.

Your hand slipped beneath his boxers, wrapping around his hardness, and you began to stroke him with slow, deliberate movements. Oscar groaned, his hips thrusting into your hand as he buried his face in your neck. "Fuck, that feels so good," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin.

You increased the pace, your hand moving with more urgency as you felt him getting closer. "Oscar," you whispered, your voice dripping with seduction, "I love making you feel this good."

He moaned loudly, his hips bucking involuntarily. "God, the way you touch me," he groaned, his voice filled with awe. "You're so good at this. It feels incredible."

You smiled against his neck, enjoying the power you had over him. Your hand moved faster, your grip tightening slightly. "Tell me, Osc," you coaxed, "Tell me how much you love it."

His breaths came in ragged gasps, his hips moving in sync with your strokes. "I love it so much," he panted, his voice trembling. "Your hand on me... it's better than any fantasy. Better than anything I could ever imagine."

You felt his cock twitch in your hand, a clear sign he was edging closer to his release. "Oscar," you whispered again, this time with a hint of praise, "You're doing so well. I love how hard you are for me."

His entire body tensed, his muscles straining as he fought to hold back. "Fuck, you're amazing," he managed to say, his voice thick with desire. "I can feel it... I'm so close."

Sensing his imminent release, you adjusted your technique, moving your hand faster inside his boxers and applying firmer pressure. Each stroke elicited a deep moan from Oscar, his control slipping with every passing second. "God, yes," he groaned, his voice desperate. "Just like that... don't stop."

You could feel his cock pulsing, his release building rapidly. "I'm so close," he panted, his voice tight with need. "I'm gonna come."

You paused your movements, your hand stilling as you looked into his eyes. "Not yet," you said softly. "I want to feel you come inside of me."

The words caught him off guard, and he moaned, his arousal spiking. "God, you have no idea how much I want that," he said, his voice filled with longing. "But I don't have any condoms here”

"I'm on birth control," you replied, your voice steady. "And I'm clean. If you're okay with it, I am too."

Oscar's eyes widened with a mix of surprise and desire. "You’re sure?" he asked, his voice husky.

"Yes, Oscar," you assured him, pulling him into another deep kiss.

After you pulled away from the kiss, Oscar looked at you again, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Are you really sure you want to do this?" he asked softly. "As much as I want to, I don't want you to feel pressured into anything. Our first time means a lot to me, and I don't want you to regret it afterward. I want it to be perfect for you."

You smiled warmly, your heart swelling with affection. "I want this. I want you," you said, your voice filled with certainty. "You mean a lot to me, Oscar. You have nothing to worry about. It's you, and that's what makes it perfect."

Oscar’s eyes softened with a mix of love and relief. He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle kiss "I want this so bad," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "And I need you so much."

With those words, he leaned in, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss, his hands exploring your body with renewed intensity. You felt a shiver of anticipation as he moved, both of you ready to take the next step together. The statement of how you shouldn't be doing this, long forgotten.

As you kissed, your hands moved to his boxers, helping him slide them off. He did the same for your panties, both of you eagerly discarding the last barriers between you. He pulled back for a moment, his eyes raking over your body. "You’re so beautiful," he said, his voice filled with awe. "Every part of you."

"And you’re so hot," you responded, your eyes trailing over his toned body. "I love your chest, your arms, your abs... everything about you." your fingers trailing over every part as you names them.

Oscar began to position himself at your entrance, his gaze locked with yours as his tip teases your entrance. You moaned softly, your body aching for him. Slowly, he pushed inside, filling you completely. The sensation of him stretching you, the heat of his skin against yours—it was more than you had ever imagined.

"God, you feel amazing," Oscar whispered, his voice a mix of awe and desire. "So perfect."

You clung to him, your nails digging into his back as he began to move, each thrust driving you both closer to the edge. The sensation of him inside you, the sound of his breath mingling with yours, created a symphony of passion that enveloped you both. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every curve, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

“You’re so amazing,” he murmured, his voice filled with admiration. “I’ve dreamed of this moment more than I'd like to admit, but now that it’s real, it’s even better.”

You blushed, your heart racing with excitement, your hands exploring his back. “You feel so good, Osc. Everything about you is just perfect.”

He paused, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, as he halted his movements, biting his bottom lip. Closing his eyes to avoid eye contact, because he was sure that he would have blowed his load the second he looked into your eyes.

You looked at him with a playful smile. “What’s going on?” you asked softly.

“I need to slow down a little,” he confessed, his cheeks flushing slightly, a hint of embarrassment in his voice as he said “Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll finish too quickly. And I really don’t want this moment to end yet.”

You reached up, cupping his face in your hands. “To be fair, I find that kind of hot,” you said with a teasing grin. “It just shows how much you want this.”

Oscar’s face lit up with a mix of relief and pleasure. “God, you really know how to make me feel good,” he said, his voice dripping with desire.

With a renewed sense of urgency, Oscar pulled out of you completely, just for him to thrust himself back inside you right after. The sensation overwhelming you, causing you to moan out loudly.

As the intensity built, Oscar’s movements quickened, his thrusts becoming more urgent. You could feel the pressure building within you, your body responding eagerly to each powerful thrust.

“I don’t think I can hold back much longer, baby,” Oscar panted, his voice strained with need.

“Then don’t,” you replied, your voice filled with determination. “Let go with me.”

He moaned, his hips bucking harder against you. The pace of his thrusts increased, each movement sending waves of pleasure crashing through both of you. You matched his rhythm, your body moving in sync with his as you both approached the brink of climax.

“Fuck, I’m so close,” you moaned, your voice barely more than a whisper.

“Me too,” Oscar grunted, his voice filled with urgency.

The pleasure surged through both of you, building to an intense peak. With a final, desperate thrust, you both moaned loudly as you reached the pinnacle of your shared ecstasy.

"God, I love you" he whispered, his orgasm causing the words to accidentally spill out in the heat of the moment. He instantly felt fear creeping upon him, afraid that he just ruined it all, unaware of what you were about to say.

“I love you too, Osc,” you replied, your voice thick with emotion as Oscar continued to thrust gently into you, making sure not to stop until you both had completely ridden out your release.

Earlier, you had spoken of ‘no strings attached,’ but your heartfelt response seemed to suggest something more profound.

As the waves of pleasure subsided, Oscar collapsed against you, his breath coming in heavy, satisfied gasps. He looked into your eyes with a mixture of awe and adoration. “That was incredible,” he said, his voice filled with emotion.

You smiled, running your fingers through his hair. “It was perfect,” you whispered, your heart full of love and satisfaction. “Thank you for making it so special.”

—————⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺—————

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Taglist @aceyalonso @saachiep81 @landosgirlxoxo @andruuu28 @il0vereadingstuff

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WAITA for leaving a dance and ditching my date?

This happened over a year ago in the past, and this guy and I are best friends rn and love each other a lot and everything turned out great, but this scenario happened back when we were just becoming friends.

I (15ftx, the ftx is relevant to the story) and J (15m) were in the same friend group, and at the beginning of 10th grade, ended up sitting next to each other in a few classes. From that, a friendship bloomed, and J ended up asking me out to the homecoming dance. I was flattered, and excited, and I thought he was really cool and nice and maybe I liked him so I said yes.

Over the next several days (and it took several days) I began to realize that I did not like him romantically. This was unfortunate, because he really was cool. He knew that I was nonbinary and didn't mind, but at the time he still identified as straight, so I was concerned he still saw me as a girl on some level, and it made me a little dysphoric. Combined with the simple fact that I just didn't like him like that, I had reservations by the time the dance arose... but I had only figured stuff out recently and didn't want to cancel on him the day before and I wanted to see if it worked anyway.

He was a perfect gentleman, picking me up from my house, getting along with my family, offered to buy my ticket (I did decline tho), did everything right. Things were awkward at the dance though. WE didn't know what to talk about, and I was upset because I felt like I couldn't hang out with my other friends because I had gone with him, and we weren't going to work, and I got very overwhelmed and ended up crying in the courtyard with two of my friends about how upset and guilty I was that i didn't like him even though he was so nice and awesome. I then asked my parents to pick me up and went home without talking to him, though I did tell a mutual friend to tell him I went home because I wasn't feeling well.

At home I cried more and called a friend and ended up telling J how I felt over text, saying that I really liked him and he didn't do anything wrong and I was sorry for leaving and maybe leading him on and I would still like to be friends if he was okay with that. He responded really well but I still know that I hurt him and he was upset.

Again, we're fine now (bffs and both in healthy relationships) but was I the asshole for ditching him at the dance?

[my-castles-crumbling]

sorry to bother but omg i just have to rant about this because it sucks

I just moved to a new school (like new country so I don't know anyone or anything) and there's this kid and from what I heard from other people (i never got to talk to them so idk preferred pronouns or anything so i'm gonna just use them) their trans.

and it sucks bc the entire grade (like including the group that i've been hanging out with) made fun of them. Like on girl called them "the girlboy" and like people made fun of them for using the boys bathrooms. I heard last week that they left the school because so many people were making fun of them and that's just horrible right? like what the fuck is wrong with people.

And now I (who has been questioning my gender for like 2 fucking years and thought this year would be a new start) can't experiment with my pronouns. because everybody here is shitty. I was the one who sent in the ask about the 3 guys being absolutley shocked that I was gay btw. I didn't say it in the last ask because it happened a few days after but I was talking to this girl who's in a different grade. we're friends from a club we both do. anyway i was talking to her before the class i had with the 3 guys and I walk to where they are bc one of my friends is there and we were all waiting for the teacher and he was like

"she's so weird, the girl you were talking to"

and i realised that i think they associate queer with weird if that makes sense. like the person i was talking to looks queer (and they are) and I think that's why he thinks she's weird because he has literally never had a conversation with her once in his life. so i think the reason they didn't think i was gay is because i don't look "weird" to them.

anyway it just sucks because when i was first moving here i hoped i could have a friendgroup that i could be more open about experiementing my gender with? if that makes sense? at my old school i was really open about being gay but my friends were a bit weird about that so i never told them. I have one friend tho and she' honestly my favorite person can i rant about her for a second? i'm going to anyway

She has tumblr too and when i first told her about it was around the same time she convinced me to get tumblr so she wanted to tall people to look for my account and i just had 1 conversation with her about how i was questioning stuff and it was a while before that and she asked me like "hey is she ok for the post i was gonna make or qould you prefer he or they? or something else?" and i was like "would they be ok?" and she was like "ofc" that was the first time that anyone's used they/them for me actually

and this might be bc she's bi but she was my only friend there who wasn't weird about me being gay. even before she started identifying as bi. like most of my friends would make off hand comments and tell everyone they knew i was gay and she was just chill. she laughed at my jokes (and now makes jokes with me).

she's also just like literally the best person ever like the first day of my new school i couldn't find my class and i was about to cry bc i was so overwhelmed and i texted her and she made me laugh and helped me calm down and gave me ideas of what to do and helped me find my class even tho she wasn't even in the same fucking country

all this to say people at my school are dicks and i miss my friend and i can't try out new pronouns in person bc people at my school are dicks

Thank you so much for reading (if you did) sorry for ranting

Hi!

Please don't apologize for ranting, I completely understand why you're upset. I'm glad you at least have one friend who is great (I wish she was at your school)! Does your school have a Gay-Straight Alliance or anything you could go to, to see if there are other people who are queer that you might not be aware of?

Naming you convinced anon!

[sirenascelestiales]

I watched SATC for the first time ever

I have THOUGHTS. No one needs to know my thoughts but I have written them out anyway. Overall, I'd say an 7/10 show.

Ok, so I've seen all 6 seasons now (none of the movies or the reboot/sequel series). I watched September through November 2024. I knew only a few things about the show:

Lauded as a great show about female friendship and every woman can/should be able to identify with one of the friends

No way can a columnist actually afford to live the way Carrie does, suspend your disbelief for that

One of the women goes through cancer and another or maybe the same one has a child after issues conceiving (IDK why this is what I knew but it was!)

SJP and KC hate each other bc of this show, after filming this show, since the beginning of this show or something, point is NOT besties IRL?

Ok general thoughts.

It aged both well and not very well. I like it overall, hence a positive 'rating' but there were scenes where I cringed and just stared and to like pause to think about what they just had said.

Seeing as it came out in 1998, I understand that it was rather revolutionary for them to talk so candidly about sex on a show (even an HBO one at that) for and about women. Kudos to Kim Cattrall for saying some of her lines with such a straight face. And I like that it's a view into what female friendships are like... but it did get very "are we even attempting to pass a Bechdel test?" territory sometimes. The point is romantic relationships, sex, and the like, so I think that you can sort of excuse the first season for having such asinine conversations, but I found myself more curious about Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha's jobs not just who they were banging. But when the stories involved their jobs it was more of how inconvenient it could be for them to be career women and date (mostly Miranda and somewhat Sam). For Charlotte it was a way to meet men who met her standards. Tell me about art! Or how you got here!

where are their parents and siblings!?! We meet Charlotte's brother and she thinks Sam isn’t good enough for him? Are y'all friends? And then we don't see anyone at her wedding. Or Miranda's! Miranda’s mom dies and she and her sis must not get along cause she’s never mentioned again. I DID like the support of the 3 during the passing of her mom tho.

The negatives of the show I am sure I am not the first to point out but so much like racism, transphobia, homophobia, and like? I'm genuinely surprised it was written by a gay man since the gay men we're introduced to are somewhat caricatures and idk if flat is the right word but the show didn’t seem to actually care about Stanford, despite being relegated as part of the friend group but not one of the girls.

I kinda wish they kept Carrie's 4th wall breaking from the first season. I enjoyed it being not only Carrie's thoughts on love, sex, and relationships but her random and somewhat diverse (at least in class/careers) group of acquaintances. I kinda liked that you had a man's perspective in Skipper, but he was just so incel-before-it-was-a-thing that yeah it was fine when he left. But basically, I would have like a more rounded cast of characters not just the 4 women themselves?

idk I think overall I liked it (I mean I watched it all and am now writing out my thoughts on it—tho partially cause no one I’m close with irl has seen it). The fashion! The overall feel that it does sort of glamorize and make me go "I can be single in the city in my 30s!".

Onto the women themselves!

Carrie: I understand why Carrie is hated. She kinda sucks. She's a better friend to the women when their issues are not serious. She overlooks their issues when she's got "bigger" things on her mind (Big/Aiden, other men, her career, her fashion/money troubles, etc.)

She doesn't seem to be very sex positive/open minded about sex despite being a sex columnist. Like her dating a bisexual man and "not knowing what to say" and “I don't think it exists/layover to gay town". Like girl, WHAT? but then she was also rather calm about the pissing kink man and was like “not for me but here are alternatives” so where’s that energy?

I really enjoyed her fashion, I think if I had that confidence (and admittedly body) I would wear all sorts of things like she did and not care what anyone thought.

Big sucks. The show should have ended with her yelling at Big to FUCK OFF and leaving for Paris (and added a scene with the women visiting her and celebrating her new life) BUT for the earlier seasons idk why she just didn’t listen to him, he basically told her he did not want anything serious with her. She pushed it to be something else. I LOATHED THE cheating story line mostly cause I really disliked how a confident woman like Carrie stooped so low and needed Charlotte to remind her to think about being in Natasha’s shoes (didn’t she also judge Sam when Sam fucked a married guy?) Like she had a babsic all women deserve respect attitude. also Big shoulda dated Charlotte if he wanted a trophy wife cause like Natasha is basically a 26yr old Charlotte. (Not that Charlotte deserves that expired jar of mayo of a man)

then she treated Aiden awful! and to justify their second relationship sucking!!!!! they changed his character to make him an asshole who punished her at every turn (tho in his defense WHY WOULD YOU STILL BE FRIENDS WITH BIG. Not even cause he was the affair partner [tho Carrie 👀 wtf] but like he wasn’t a good “friend” either) like Aiden seemed heartbroken over their relationship ending (both times) but unlike her, he seemed to be someone who would be able to communicate and work past issues but he just didn’t? He just like kept bringing it up, like dude if you’re willing to take back someone who cheated on you stated your boundaries and deal breakers don’t just punish people for breaking them without knowing what they are!

Also idk if this is a 2024 take but for a writer she doesn’t seem to have interests that match writers? It implies she reads vogue but she doesn’t have favorite fashion critics/writers and she doesn’t seem to ever do like any writing workshops (learning or even teaching) idk it just was noticeable that Aleks was “worldly” and she and her friends weren’t? Which brings me to how come Charlotte was the only one who somewhat behaved sanely there. I know Sam always talks about sex but cmon she’s a PR agent she would know how to talk to a millionaire artist at his fancy dinner. Miranda, the lawyer would too.

I hated when Carrie asked Charlotte for money and Charlotte basically asked for forgiveness for not being there for her and initially rejecting the idea and then gave her the ring! wtf? Sell off half your fashion for money girl. I find it hard to believe someone in their 30s really didn’t know shit about money and even a huge love a of fashion, sell enough to get money to get a loan!!!!

THAT BEING SAID

I kinda like that she was a toxic, selfish, went-for-the-guy-despite-him-being-bad-for-her main character. Good fashion, sarcastic and witty, I really kinda miss landlines cause of her, I really enjoyed the overall friendship that was implied Carrie offered (tho it didn’t come across very well in later seasons lbr). Again, if i could i'd have here confidence, love of indulgence, HAIR, glamours partying (within reason smoking aint for me), and be a published author in a glamorous city.

Charlotte:

I didn’t like Charlotte at first, too conservative and WASPY and very dated views on dating and sex. Also weird that she was friends with any of these women when she basically disagreed with their very vocal opinions on sex. Like she seemed very opposed to sleeping around, despite still sleeping around herself idk oxymoronic imo.

but

she was easier to come around on. She’s the romantic, she had some of the best line of the series “maybe we can be each others soulmates”, “I’m worth a million”. I think she should have ended things with Trey waaay earlier cause of Bunny, like babes she sucks even if you wanted to eventually be a WASPY socialite like her. Trey clearly will not stand up to her...But kudos to Trey giving her the apt after the shit he put her through. Harry was great! I think I would go about committing to something the way Charlotte did when she converted to Judaism, which was try your hardest to, study your ass off, and be ambitious and unrelenting in completing your goals. So I relate to that. I’m glad she got her baby in the end, she deserved an adoption waaaay earlier and damn was watching her miscarry was a hard episode. I relate to her in her ambitious and romanticism but I also do not relate to her trust fund ways lol

her style was very classic and almost 50s/60s inspired I like the lines and cuts the most out of her closet but I would go with bolder colors tbh! 🤔 l guess my ending would be:

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (can we please get a name?) and that she has another adoption in the process!

Miranda:

They did her dirty. She was cynical and sarcastic and stubborn and I was sure she and Samantha would be the “it’s ok to never marry or even partner up” story lines. And then she got pregnant and while I can understand why she would keep a child if she technically wanted some in the future (I would have to rewatch or google but I was sure she and Sam were like “kids are no!” I was sure she never did even after her ovary scare) I HATE STEVE.

he’s childish, he’s immature, he’s not on her financial level! even after the bar becomes a success (does it? I feel like she’s paying for everything! cause it's her apartment!) This man brought a puppy to convince her for a child and did NOTHING. I do not understand why she “loves him”. Cause I understand like the man that gave you a child but BLAIR UNDERWOOD WAS RIGHT THERE! He was a successful doctor. He understood her neurosis and also was able to help her work through it like Steve (i'll give him that he tried to balance her out) and Robert was frankly a better option (remember Steve couldn't fucking take care of their baby despite being the one who allegedly wanted children 1-2 years earlier!). If she had to end up with someone, it should have been Robert. (Why did they make Blair/Robert a fucking loser after the breakup? I understand him being hurt by being broken up with but he didn’t have to be such an ass to her and immediately what fuck two women to show he didn’t love her anyway????)

I wish they had kept her more androgynous style, they soften her up which fine but she was so good at the power suits! I like that she had short hair and was still chic. ALSO I miss real teeth. They're all clearly like straight and real teeth, Carrie has more yellow ones and I assume it's due do smoking but man remember real teeth in film and TV

Anyway, ending with Miranda added:

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. (I guess I should add, she can dump Aleks still and just get another column or start a blog [2004 remember] about “An American Girl living in Paris”) Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (again I want her to name the baby girl) and that she has another adoption in the process! Miranda is visiting alone (Brady is with Magda or even Steve cause damn dude take care of your child). She’s happy and successfully opened her own firm? Idk how lawyer careers work but she deserves to be a boss ass bitch-lawyer while being a single mom. OR she and Dr. Robert are engaged!

Sam:

also done dirty. And I mean cause despite being liberal and very vocal about sex, I really found it hard to believe she didn’t get tested until someone reminded her? HUH? She’s 40 and loves to fuck and is well groomed cmon! You can just be like she gets anxiety every time she tests cause so much language around STIs is "if you have sex you will die"!

I feel like her getting cancer was a way to punish her? Idk it felt like the story was saying she needed to learn a lesson bc a lot of her sex story lines were a bit of a punishment not a celebration (she fucked a married rich man and gets shut out? if she's rich enough she'd still be allowed into places cmon), but she was so cool about it all including the cancer, that it didn’t work but I still got that feeling of punishing Sam and maybe it’s my knowledge of the rift between SJP and KC?

Anyway, small dick good man was a meh story, big dick meh man was a rehash, SHE’S BI but Maria was a caricature of SPICY ANGRY LOUD LATINA. So we don’t even mention that again. Richard was truly a dick she should have kept fucking him and milking him for money and been fine with him fucking others and she could fuck others. bc why did she take him back? Girl you knew you didn’t believe him! Either he’s good for sex and money or you go back to being your phenomenal self!

Smith was great, supportive and a bit of a boytoy tbh? I like that they fell in love fr and he supported her so much. Again why fuck richard for her to just cry about it? And not even control the situation.

Sam’s style is the best, power suits, bright colors, shows off her body, wears patterns and looks great!

ending would be 🤔

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. (I guess I should add, she can dump Aleks still and just get another column or start a blog [2004 remember] about “An American Girl living in Paris”) Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (again I want her to name the baby girl) and that she has another adoption in the process! Miranda is visiting alone (Brady is with Magda or even Steve cause damn dude take care of your child). She’s happy and successfully opened her own firm? Idk how lawyer careers work but she deserves to be a boss ass bitch-lawyer while being a single mom. OR she and Dr. Robert are engaged! Sam is visiting and has been traveling Europe and it’s all a travel expense cause she’s still Smith’s PR agent and he’s on a press tour! Cancer is gone! She’s living the life! She's free to do whatever the fuck she likes.

Yeah I liked SATC overall, again 7/10. Maybe I'll rewatch when I'm 40

[hel-phoenyx]

11) Behind my back

This is the first time I go see the Norn. Mom always forbade me to see her, thought the tradition was stupid. I never asked why.

Dad said it's because her mom, my grandmother, never predicted her death, so of course Norns should be faillible.

Mom answered to this that "you better take care of your business instead of talking behind my back, Harald".

So I never went. Except today, they're both dead, and i'm crippled with doubt. So I turn towards the only solution left. Seeing my future.

It's not going behind their backs, I tell myself. They're dead. I don't have to respect their wishes.

Nevertheless, my heart stings when I pass the door.

She's there, sat in the middle of weird vapors. A young girl, maybe thirteen or fourteen, not older than Kaizarz.

Her eyes are older than the world itself.

I never saw such eyes.

****

I am back in that cave, a month later, hand gone and eyes empty. Nobody heard me talk since the incident, not even Kaizarz, especially Kaizarz.

Yet she hears my voice.

Yet we can just talk.

She knows, I don't even need to tell her. Yet she looks at me with neither pity nor contempt. She justs talks to me like I was anyone.

I've never been anyone.

It is so refreshing to just be Tyr for someone again.

****

We're at the tournament for Glory, as just people among the warriors. She will fight, I will not, and both of us will look at Kaizarz with so different fears in our eyes.

She spends so much time with me. Asks me what I think of her. Laughs with me. Drinks with me. Teases me. It's like I've found a friend all over again.

It feels so weird, tho, seeing her so close from me, and so far away from Kaizarz. That's his fiancee, and he loves her, I saw it I have eyes ; she hates him, never starts a conversation with him, and smiles only when I'm around.

Why do I feel so happy to see that part hidden away in her, the ones that laughs and smiles and acts like the teen we never were ? It's isn't supposed to be mine to see.

I shouldn't be that happy.

****

I always had a hard time identifying my feelings. It started with her, and then she died before I could ever know if I loved her back ; and then I realised what love was. Or at least, what it was for me.

And then I knew. I knew that, if I loved Kaizarz, then I loved her too.

Both of us knew the feelings were mutual.

In another time. In another situation. We may have been happy.

But there is no future for both of us, and most of the obstacles come from me. Because I have morals. Because she's not supposed to be mine to cherish. Because my best friend, the one I love more than my own life, loves her and she has to marry him someday.

I can't hurt him again. I have no right to hurt him again.

Yet she's the one that told me that I am allowed to want something for my life.

It feels so wrong to want her and yet when she takes my hand, when she leans on my arm, when she holds me in her arms, I find my happiest moments.

So I can't stop myself from going back, again and again and again and again and again

For she never fails to put a smile on my face.

"Does everyone drools on my fiancee or what ?"

You have no idea.

[gvtted-ratz]

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DATE NIGHT

Arkin O’ Brien x GN!Reader

Last Edited: 16/04/2024

TW: none

Anon: Short fluff fic of Arkin x reader? Maybe him taking the reader out on a date? please and thank you :3

Word Count: 962

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: We know who sent that, and thank you for it. This is set before they go on the date but plan to go BTW. And yes, Arkin is 32 in this. In 2009, High Steward was 32 when he played Arkin and that’s all we have to go on for his age.

@rppik (editor/co-writer): I like my pathetic divorced Meow Meows UNWELL /lh /don't use that as my editor's note

You’ve known Arkin for a long time. You worked alongside him during his time as a contractor; you knew about his wife, Lisa, and little girl, Cindy. Finally escaping The Collector to find out that Lisa filed divorce papers after he told her to flee completely broke him. He loved his wife, despite her constant gambling and using Cindy as a way to keep him leashed, and watching her leave him after everything he had done to get back to them destroyed the man.

 You had been there throughout the whole shit show, providing as much comfort as you could. Your shitty flat became home to the recovering man, who slept on your couch more than enough times to leave an imprint. Hell, even your bed had become contaminated with his smell on more than one occasion; on some nights, you insisted he spare his back from sleeping on the old piece of junk. But you didn’t kick him out or turn him away. You couldn’t, not when you had seen the previous fights between him and his ex-wife, or how he talked about Cindy in such a caring way, clearly missing her more than air. You couldn't help but want to help the guy, with his unkempt appearance and dark shadows under his eyes being equal parts concerning and somehow handsome on him. And his witty comebacks always made your day, naturally, you had to admit his company wasn't one you minded keeping, even when he was close to hitting rock bottom some days.

You know he doesn’t care for himself like he should, not when he only cared about seeing his kid. With that no longer possible, thanks to Lisa’s papers and custody battle, he would be lucky to see Cindy at all or even get to call her. His will to get better or take care of himself in any way deteriorated rapidly after the decision was finalized; if it wasn’t for your encouragement to shower or eat a little bit, he would have wasted away in your living room.

Of course, you weren't above abusing your professional connections to help, too. An ask here, a bribe there, and the next thing you know, envelopes to small packages full of pictures of Cindy arrived at your work. You would then bring them home to give to Arkin as some sort of gift to show that his baby was okay. He never asked who you talked with to get the photos, and you never told him, either; neither of you minded crossing some lines if it helped. 

And it did help him– The life in the man started to slowly, but surely, trickle back into his being. His eyes seemed brighter, and he started to take care of himself a bit more. He’d even gone back to his previous job as a contractor. He didn’t move out, though, not that you minded him sticking around. To others, it might have been awful to have someone you had helped get back on their feet not go on to leave your home. For you, however, it was just another thing you had hoped would happen, coming to fruition. 

The man you’ve been pining after for years, a best friend and romantic interest, staying with you? While you should feel awful he had to lose his wife and kid for it to happen, you couldn’t help but feel glad in a way. All the same, you couldn’t help but want him to still have some sort of access to Cindy. He loves her, you know, and wouldn’t take that away from him for the world. Even if it meant using some favours on your part, to see him happy and becoming healthy was all you cared about.

At some point, your feelings for him became an open secret, as sharing a living space with the man meant that little could go unnoticed between you two for long; you had yet to breach the topic explicitly, however, knowing he needed time to recover from his previous relationship. It’s on a day both of you are off work that you spring the idea of a date up, if only to test the waters.

“It can be between friends if you prefer, Arkin. I just thought we could go out,” you tell him. You don’t want to force him into joining you if he really doesn’t want to.

“Depends. Where are we goin’?” He’s relaxed on the couch, looking at some of the blueprints for another bit of decor needed on a house he’s going to be working on soon.

“The museum. The one a few blocks away from the bar you used to frequent before that guy happened,” you reply, hinting at The Collector but not outright saying the mass-murderer’s title for Arkin’s peace of mind.

“Is it any good?”

“Depends,” is your answer, echoing his early answer in a teasing tone of voice. You can hear him snort in good humour.

“We can go. Let me just put away these papers. Do I have to dress up?” You give him a quick look over before shaking your head.

“You can dress down for all I care. As long as you have something to cover your muscles.” The pillow cushion that hits you in response makes you laugh. You couldn’t help but poke fun at the other.

“Alright, alright. I’ll throw on my shoes. But you can’t go teasing me like that, I’m too old for it,” he insists lightly.

“You’re thirty-two, Arkin! You’re hardly old, Asshat.” His laughter from your bedroom gets that warm feeling in your gut to curl up close to your heart. Yeah, you’re pretty lucky to have this asshat in your life, despite the circumstances that brought you two together.

[lady-wren-of-tella]

my story as a bi girl so far :)

even when i was very young, i knew i was a little different from my peers because i just wasn’t crushing on anyone. they were all giggling about which boys in our class they thought were cute, and i just didn’t understand.

in my pre-teen years i starting learning more about the queer community bc i wanted to be a better ally and i wanted to learn more about a community that my parents hadn’t introduced me to yet

i knew bisexuality existed, but i didn’t start to identify with that label until a little later

i finally got my first crush (on my guy best friend who confessed to liking me three years earlier. he’s my current bf <3) but i couldn’t help but think that i’d be perfectly okay with having the same kinds of feelings towards a girl

that realization stayed private for a while. my first time coming out was on here, actually (on my old blog). then i came out to my friends (in my new school)

labeling myself as bisexual never felt restricting. i never felt like i was closing off new doors by picking a label. i felt a new sense of belonging and a new self confidence.

coming out to my boyfriend was scary. i was scared he would think i would cheat on someone. i was scared he’d be hurt that i didn’t tell him for a while

it couldn’t have gone any better tho. he came out as bi to me too, and we laughed about how we’d both been terrified for no reason

bi erasure and biphobia is something we both experience frequently as people in a long-term relationship between a cis guy and cis girl. it’s maddening, but it never changes how proud we are of our identities

i’m very grateful to have had such a (mostly) supportive community around me. i’m so proud of who i am and i wish everyone a very happy pride month

thx for reading my story

[mythicandco]

tmc queer headcanons because why not I s'pose

by the way don't ship anyone or I will put you in the cube. the BAD one

general orientation stuff:

Mark's aroace, uses he/him pronouns, and has trans vibes but I'm not totally sure? maybe agender. Cesar's pan, trans, maybe poly or ambiamorous? and fine with any pronouns (genderfluid before the word for that existed because. he died before 1994) but prefers he/him most of the time (can be very fem presenting though! lots of eyeliner and dresses n such. they're rocking it)

just for sillies, the whole BPS is bi. Evelin's bi and prefers guys (she's not DIRECTLY part of the 'Society but still), Sarah's bi and prefers girls, Jonah's bi and ALSO prefers guys, and Adam's quoiromantic bi-ace because I've gotta project onto SOMEBODY

Evelin uses she/her and sometimes they/them if she feels like it, Sarah's a transgirl and uses she/her, Jonah's a transguy and uses he/they, and Adam is Adam. (we don't. we don't know what he has going on but he prefers he/him)

Thatcher's ALSO bi (trans, he/him), Ruth is demi and cishet (she/her), and Dave's aroace n agender (I dunno why I feel like both of Alex's characters are aroace? they just. those are the Vibes yknow?). they also occasionally use they/them but usually he/him

all of the alts besides Adam are triple a - aro, ace, agender (get it? because. 333-) and use they/it but I think Gabriel and Six play around with he/him as well

additional things 'cause why not:

Mark and Cesar are stupid and codependent. thank you so much, mustang, for putting them permanently in my brain forever /lh, pos. also their dynamic is really funny because Cesar has like a guy draped over one arm a gal on the other and Mark's like "I don't get it but ok cool" I dunno I laugh thinking about that kind of interaction. they also would probably joke about how Mark let Cesar have all of his gender if they actually knew what that meant

bisexual pride society. that's it that's all I have to say about them

Ruth probably said she was an ally and didn't identify as demisexual because she didn't know that was a thing and died before the term was even coined, but if she did she'd be like "omg that's me!" and now I'm making myself sad thinking about it

Ruth also dated a girl once but ultimately decided it wasn't her thing (I imagine they're still really good friends tho!) because it's okay to try stuff out and decide it doesn't fit you

Dave never needed no bitches, but he does give surprisingly good dating advice (got it by watching Thatcher struggle all through high school. Thatcher, for the record, gives AWFUL advice.)

also the mcp3 went to a pride rally at least once before things went to shit. they deserve it

[wanderrlust0]

sorry i wont shut up about this but i feel so conflicted right now!!D; and maybe typing it all out will help???

and I highly suggest to not read this unless you want to be here for an hour reading nonsense LOL

im seeing my bestie friday so im gonna tell her everythinggg and get her opinion on all of this before i see him again in a few days.

i just started to hang out with a "new" friend but it makes my bf uncomfortable and idk what to do about it... and tbh im not going to stop being friends with them:/ ik that sounds kinda shitty on the surface but its like asking me to cut someone off right after getting to know them.

im gonna explain almost all of the context....

okay, so... 2020 was a ruff year. it was covid and quarantine. my mom was super super strict about it. once people began to hang out in small circles bc cdc said it was okay to, while still being careful, i was still not allowed to leave my house. i felt soso isolated and alone and it was def one of my lowest moments. me & my bf were basically in a long distance relationship.. or thats what it felt like. all we had was facetime. he started to hang out with his friend from school more often (i had stuff to say to him about that & its in another post). after a couple of months, my mom finally let us see each other.. but it had to be in my backyard only and we couldn't be close. it was okay at first but after a while we got bored and wanted more. he got impatient and petty about it. i understood where he was coming from but i was trying to be as optimistic as i could, even tho it was hard. its bc even for like the 1-2 hrs i got to see him, it made my day. (my friends were also starting to hangout in their backyards but i never told my mom bc i figured she wouldnt let me go.. but when i told her afterwards, she said she would have..??)

it was getting colder outside which made it harder for us to see each other. it was also just a sucky situation and it was creating some resentment. he wanted to talk with me on ft about it and i knew it would be serious. AND IT WAS. he did most of the talking and it was leading to a breakup. BUT (this is important) he couldnt for the life of him break up with me, let alone say the words.. SO.. he suggested that we do a break. neither of us have done that before but its obvious that it means its temporary and you use that time to figure things out and get some space (we DEFINITELY shouldve been clearer about it). he got emotional and i held mine in. he was saying all these good things about me and how he still wants me in his life and that we can get together again; that we would still talk everyday and be friends. at the time, weve been dating for about a year and a half. right after we hung up i bawled my eyes out and immediately facetimed my best friend in FL.

days go by and me and him are still talking everyday, only in a more friendly, platonic manner. eventually, he starts replying later and later, he turns off his location, and its like i feel forgotten about. im so used to knowing what hes doing that now it feels weird to not know and its hard to adapt to these changes.

I download tinder to find some FRIENDS to talk to (only for girls). he was barely talking to me and i was questioning our friendship relationship (situationship i guess). although i dont remember the details of my profile, i DEF made it clear that i was on there for making friends only. i had no intention of pursuing anyone for a relationship... bc i had my "bf" still. HE clearly went a diff route during our break....too much to unpack there but in the end, it just made him want to come back to me.

So.... Snow (that is their nickname ive given them for tumblr) was one of those people who i chatted with on tinder. theyre female but identify as they/them (i dont think they used those pronouns when we first started talking tho). they msgd first and our convo was actually really long-lasting so we followed each other on IG. (theyre also not the only one i've exchanged IG with so its not like i only gave it to them). Yes, I thought they were pretty when i swiped. sue me. i think many people are pretty. its just me acknowledging when someones aesthetically pleasing. eventually, we talked less and i also went on tinder less. After about a month into me and my bfs break, he begins to talk to me more like he used to. Then he asks if he can see me bc he missed me. Still cant leave my house with him but we hang out and its nice. HE ASKS ME IF I MET ANYONE NEW. i say no and hes like ...really?you sure? I ask him the same and he says no (while breaking eye contact,, literal red flag but i was blindsided). he tells me the truth over FT and that ruined me way more than i let on. (i think he's feeling a similar way now but for diff reasons)

we got back together after and the rest of the year (2021) was super fun. weve now been together for almost 4 1/2 years! since our BREAK NOT BREAKUP (not me @ ing him when he wont even see this) me and snow comment on each others IG posts now and again. for ex, ive said they looked so prettyyy & i would compliment their makeup skills. they would reply in a cute/flattery way. thats how they reply to comments. theyre also very embellished, like with emojis. theyve commented on my pics saying i look cute and hyping me up with compliments as well. it just turned into a natural, mutual thing; idk how else to describe it. its like having an online friend where you only interact thru the comments to show kindness. LOL IDK that sounds corny but yeah. girly things i guess. & then irl its so subdued.

so aside from the comments, we would react to each others stories like once in a blue moon. they posted about watching demon slayer so i said its a good anime. i posted me and my bfs halloween costumes and they said we looked so cute. fast fwd to the end of last yr... we said happy bday to each other and i brought up the idea of possibly hanging out one day if theyre down. so yes, i asked first. they said they would love to and that they were glad i asked bc they were too anxious to ask themselves (mood). im surprised at myself that i even asked but i guess i felt comfortable enough.

(i feel like im writing my own biography omg..) anyways, we get each others numbers and talk about our schedules. we were both very busy so nothing happened. we sporadically made small talk, as one does with their internet friend, over a couple of months. we talked on IG more & also thought about the plans for when we hang out. its now like almost summer and they text me asking if i was free last minute to hang out bc they were gonna be in my town but i was busy.

its now like a month later and i see them at the mall with their friend when i was with my bf. (i already spoke about this so i wont repeat it). after that day, we finally made a day to hang out. bf wasnt happy about it; i tried to reassure him; he saw and still sees them as someone to worry about; he thinks im gonna do something stupid and act out on any fantasies i may have. he knows im bi; he sees snow as someone who looks queer. he thinks that our intentions are to get closer to each other in a way that crosses a friendship.

he saw me listening to a playlist titled sapphic energy. it just consists of songs i enjoy by female artists and ive had that playlist for a long time now. i only edited the title.. but just now i switched it back to what it was before so thats ONE thing "fixed" to make him at ease.

he doesnt believe me when i tell him that my only intention and motive here is to make a good, new friendship. THATS ALL I WANT. AND THATS ALL SNOW WANTS. i can see how it can look like its more from an outside perspective bc of our IG comments but it was not like that in person at all!! it just felt like hanging out with a friend and introducing new things to each other like shows and foods. snow even made it clear that once someone is their friend, they cant see them any other way and that formed to protect their feelings. when we hung out there were literally no signs of feelings or anything that would cross boundaries. i didnt get that feeling i get when i have a crush and lose all my brain cells. by our second hang out we were past any awkwardness and it felt like a regular day out with a friend.

I did look cute that day but i always dress up!!! i dress up like every time i see my bf. i dress up for work. i dress up when im going out with friends. i enjoy fashion and makeup and looking pretty,,

last yr he was using bumble friends and he met up with a guy but they havent hung out since. ive helped him swipe on people before and i was okay with it, except when it was like an attractive girl.. would that be hypocritical of me tho?...idk. we def both get kinda jealous over these things. i can get territorial, like he is mine lol i am his. we would never be open or add a third and the thought of him befriending new females made me nervous. especially after what happened during our break. like idk, that still sticks with me and makes me think of bad feelings..and even more especially now after finding out about what he and his friend did.. but me feeling nervous about that is like what HE is feeling (T-T) I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP AND IT SUCKS. i dont think i catch feelings easily. i dont get butterflies over people easily. im not an openly sexual person.

like. am i being unfair by continuing this friendship? snow doesnt know how he feels about us. idek if its worth telling but im gonna wait till more time passes and see how things go. would him hanging out with us make him feel better?? would it be too weird? he already doesnt like the idea of snow so how would he be in a room with them.

i wanna fast fwd to friday so i can tell my bestie about it and then fast fwd to sunday so i can see him. he is still not back to his usual self when we talk on snap. he tries to save serious confrontations for in person bc he sounds angry thru text so even tho itll make me nervous, i still wanna work this out so it doesnt ruin our relationship.

[jaybutnotthebird]

Back Somehow

(also on ao3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/49472875

Nina came back home to find her son sitting on the front steps, with the neck of his shirt and his fur all ruffled, holding his head in his hands. That girl, Ivy Pepper was with him. As she came closer she realiced that something had happened. His eyes were tired and filled with tears, and she too was looking rather downcast

"Rocky is... he's dead" he said, and Nina couldn't believe it.

Tho it also made sense. The boy just kept geting into trouble

Ivy did most of the explaining: his car had been ran over by a train, leaving the driver's body so mangled that he had to be identified by his clothes and posesions, tho the agents could tell that he had grey fur.

How did the car get in the middle of the train tracks was anyone's guess. Rocky's car was in poor condition and tended to stop at any random time, so maybe it just happened to stop at the most inconvinient possible moment.

Maybe Rocky actually thought he could beat the train and tried to drive past the tracks before it got there. They wouldn't put it past him.

Those who knew what kinda bushiness Rocky was up to wouldn't be surprised if he was already dead, or half dead or knocked out before the car was pushed into the tracks.

It was anyone's guess

Calvin drove the car to a little morge out on the field. He told her a friend had ofered to help with the cost of the funeral. It was going to be a very small event, he told her. Just a few guests, closed casket.

Upon walking in, though, Nina found that, despite the place being small and rather humble looking, and it being supposed to be a small event, it felt full.

There was a lot of people, or at least, more than she expected.

Calvin had told her most of the guests would be coworkers and aquientces, but they were greeted with a very close and warm demeanor.

The first to come up to them was Jasper, whom she recogniced: long black fur, with irregular orange patches and green eyes. He often waited by the car when Rocky visited. Her nephew descrived him as "his ride or die, his best pal, aside from Frekle, of course" they had exchanged a few words at some point.

He looked terrible. Despite dressing nicely for the ocasion his hair was kinda dishevled, his expresion sad and tired. Specialy compared with his usual, energetic and bombastic demeanor.

He had seemed so much bigger when standing next to Rocky

He assured her that he cared deeply for her nephew, that he was a very special man and he would miss him greatly. She had the feeling that not only he was being honest; he was holding back for decency's sake.

Next to greet them was a classy looking woman and a well dressed, elegant man. They introduced themselves as Mitzy May, Rocky's boss and her friend Sedgewick Sable.

Mitzy told Nina that her nephew was a very sweet and hard working young man, wich she struggled to believe.

"oh, I do hope he didn't give you much trouble" she realiced she was kinda talking about him like he was still alive. It had just happened so fast...

"well, he could certainly be... excentric and troublesome at times, but truth is he busted his ass for the team and we are gonna struggle to replace him, not to mention we will miss him, of course"

Nina was a little shocked by the sudden colorful and confident demeanor the fancy looking lady let out. The gentleman next to her cleared his throat

"I wasn't really very close to him but he was a real charmer, wasn't he? He did play a couple pranks on me... heh. He could really liven the place up. His abscense will be deeply noted"

Nina noded solemnly, somehow feeling out of place. She hadn't known that her ramboutious, messy nephew had any kind of contact with classy folks like these, let alone so close for comfort

"Im sorry, perhaps I shouldn't ask but... are you the benefactor I have to thank for helping with the funeral costs?"

Mr. Sable smiled and shook his head "no, maam, if anything it was a barn raising"

She had no idea what that meant. Calvin had said a friend had offered to help... she would have to ask him later.

Next, after letting him guide her throu the room she found herself in front of at least 5 men, all well dressed and sorrowful. One of them, a blond tabby that introduced himself as Sy told her they were the music band that Rocky was a part of. That they were like family.

It ocured to her in that moment that she had never had the chance to see him perform at his work, and only now she was meeting his companions. She eyed them carefuly, specially the one in red, who looked the most dishelveled. He was sitting with his legs apart, arms propped on them, smoking.

Zib, according to the yellow cat

"Zib" said Sy "it's Rocky's aunt"

"I know" a dark, heavy and raspy voice came from him. Her ears twitched

"Im sorry?"

He looked up from where he was sitting. His eyes were darkened by sleepless nights and an unforgiving expression "you are the one who kicked him to the curve. Im the one who took him in years later"

her tail puffed up. She turned up her nose and eyed the man, this skinny, unkept, questionable looking man that didn't know her and dared judge her first thing when meeting her

"you forget yourself" was all she could muster, keeping her composture.

The jazz player stood up. He was taller than her, but thinner, and his expresion was that of one who was tired of bullshit. Of her bullshit. Without knowing her. He went to step in front of her but Sy stoped him with an arm, and the one standing behind him -Ben- placed a hand on his shoulder.

Calvin pulled her arm and said, in a sad, begging tone "please, it's a funeral. Let's be at peace"

The tom and the queen eyed each other, as Calvin led Nina away. Zib followed her with his eyes before going back to his post on the chair.

They all sat down, with Nina and Calvin being granted an advantage point at the front. The priest, a tall, very thin man with pale fur stood at the podium and said a few words, wellcoming them, reading a few lines about dust to dust and trying to offer some cold confort.

Nina didn't know how to feel about the sudden death of her stranged nephew, so she instead turned to a much more familiar place for her and concentrated on the words of the lord

then the priest asked if anyone wanted to say a few words and Calvin got up. He stood behind the podium. He cleared his throat, and looked down

"I ah- ...Im not very good with words so I've written what I wanted to say. ...I use to exchange letters with him, with my cousin, Rocky when eh- he was traveling, so it felt easier"

he pulled out some folded paper from his front poket, unfolded it, and took a deep breath.

"No one knew my cousin like I did. He was more like a brother to me, since we were raised together as far as my memory reaches.

Those who knew him knew he was troublesome and excentric, and those who knew him well also knew he was troubled himself. But no one did as well as I do.

My cousin Rocky was a troublemaker from the begining. He got into so much trouble when we were kids, and often dragged me into it. Aparently this is just a thing kids do, some kids are more messy than others and it is normal for brothers to get each other in trouble, but it seemed like he was specaily prone to do so. In comparison I seemed like the perfect good kid.

This one time, Rocky messed up big time. He took the neighbor's car without knowing how to drive it, and he had an accident. The car was broken and someone got hurt. My mother was so cross with him she kicked him out. And so, he was left on the street at the age of fifteen, while I stayed home and continued with my studies.

Only, as it happens, actually he didn't do it"

It took a moment for Nina, siting just a few paces from him, to process what her son was saying now

"...I'm the one who took the car, and Im the one who crashed it, and caused the accident. Rocky simply took the blame for me, to protect me" Calvin took a deep breath and didn't look up from the podium as he passed to the next page of the letter "it happened so fast and I didn't know what to do, so I just did what he told me: I kept quiet as he took the blame, becouse he thought that it was better this way: it was normal for him to get into trouble, everyone expected it from him, and it would be easier this way.

He could have given in and told the truth when my mother kicked him out, but he didn't. He didn't tattle when he found himself cold and hungry nor when he had to leave town and spent the next few years traveling from one place to the other doing odd jobs.

What is more" he took a deep breath "he could have been resentlful or angry, but he didn't. He kept writing me letters, telling me that it wasn't so bad, that it was better this way, that he was actually having fun and it wasn't all my fault.

He didn't blame me. Even when, years later I failed to get the job that I wanted, that I had worked so hard for, and he had sacrified himself for, when he found out and came up to me, he didn't even mention it. He should have hated me but he just invited me for a sandwich. He found me a job and he introduced me to the lovely lady who has been keeping me company ever since and throut this whole ordeal"

Next to Nina, Ivy let out a strangled wimper. She had a hand over her mouth, muffled with a soaking handkerchief. Calvin continued

"maybe I shouldn't be teling any of this. Maybe I should respect his wishes and take the secret to the grave like he did, and let everyone think that I am a perfect good little boy and he was allways hopeless, but he is gone now and I don't want to carry this guilt anymore"

"My cousin could be extravagant, and troubled, and prone to mania, but what I alone know is that he was also noble and self sacrificed, and he cared a lot. Sure, his methods were questionable, but in his own way he allways took care of me, and those he cared for and all of that with a smile allways on. This I know, and God does too.

Looking back I wonder if perhaps we both were just kids geting into trouble after all, since it is normal for brothers to keep each other's back and get you out of trouble"

Calvin finished reading and folded the pieces of paper and put them back in his front pocket.

"thank you all for coming, I really apreciate it"

Nina watched him in shock as he calmly walked down and up to sit back next to her, and she barely heared the wimpers of some other atendants or the confused priest now reading the part about the noblest of sacifices. She turned to her son and asked

"is that true?" Calvin noded solemnly. He didn't look at her. Ivy placed a hand on his and he held it tight. They got over with the rest of the ceremony pretty fast and came out in a small, quiet procession to bury the casket.

As it was being lowered to the ground Nina thought of how much of a stranger he had been. She wondered if she had ever known him, even as a child. She remembered him as a little, exausting, infuriating boy and as an equaly infuriating, good for nothing young man...

she remembered her sister

and the man she had married, whom she had never liked and who had left them as soon as things got tough.

She was a very religious woman and she had allways been sure her nephew would go to hell, but now, as the casket was being buried she wondered.

She wondered if things could have been diferent had she known the truth. She wondered if Roark's sacrifice and some other good deeds he may have done could possibly gain him mercy in the eyes of the lord.

They were invited for dinner at the little daisy cafe, courtesy of Miss M. Maybe that's what Mr. Sable had meant when he said it was a barn raising. She didn't feel like eating, or being arround people, but she didn't complain as they got in the car, did the whole way in utter silence, and then they got down and now they were here.

There was a small cake, and little sandwiches, and small talk, and even at some point, there was Rocky standing at the bar, with a piece of cake and that smile of his with teeth poking over his lower lip

...or was it just aghost?

Wait, no. He was talking "so, what did I miss?"

"R-Rocky?" Ivy could not believe her eyes.

"yeah?" he said, face stuffed with cake

"you..." Ivy turned to look at Calvin, wide eyed, just standing next to her and back at the aparition "you can't be"

from behind, Jasper came in a rush, pushing people apart to roughly grab Rocky by his shirt. His hand weighted down on his shoulder, visibly holding him, forcing him to turn. He was solid. He was really there. Jasper stared into his blue eyes, his chipped ear, his familiar, shocked face.

"hey, what's the idea? Jass, pal, what's gotten into you?"

Jasper just engulfed him in a tight, overbearing hug, nearly crushing his thin frame. Rocky's legs were not enough to support the weight in that position but they didn't have to. His voice kept coming, muffled against Jasper's chest

"woah cat I still gotta breathe you know?"

Jasper laughted. His laught came at first confused and raspy, but then it turned hysterical and bombastic as usual, and one could visibly see how all of his old streingth and posture came back to him, as he lifted his friend in the air, before placing him on the flor and slaping his back, nearly throwing him off

"YOU BLODDY WANKA GAVE US A HEART ATACK!! then he added, in a more snarky tone "and you owe me money cat"

"what?" Rocky gave him a questioning look, but now it was Zib coming closer, eyes wide, sad, scared, shocked... so many emotion twirling in them, and a cigarrete still hanging from his mouth. He just placed a hand on Rocky's arm, looking at him, up and down, uncapable of understanding

"Zib? Man, you ok? ...lad, what is it? Zib?"

"man, you really outdid yourself with this one!" said Sy as he and the rest of the band sourranded him to slap his shoulders, mess his har, tease him, touch him, hear his voice

just look at him.

He was alive

Aunt Nina was furious "ROARK RIKABY"

"WOAH!" Rocky Jumped, looking terrified now, ears tilted back, tail curled arround himself, his whole body languaje cowering next to Jasper "who invited my aunt!?"

"YOU FILTHY SINNER!" she slapped him right across the face, so hard it actually turned. The members of the band laughted as she continued a rain of impressive slaps and he tried to cover with his arms "YOU LIER YOU... YOU UNREDIMEBLE MONSTER!"

"that's enough, lady" said Jasper, as he gently but firmly separated them, and stood between the two with his own body, one hand on Rocky's shoulder, the other on her's

"don't you dare touch me! And don't you tell me how to discipline my nephew!"

"whatevah you need to tell him you can say from two arm lengts apart"

it was admirable to see how fast he had reverted to his no nonesense bodygard mode after the return of his buddy. The woman huffed with anger, giving Rocky time to recover and struggle to stand straight, puting both his shirt and his fur into place

"no, seriously, what is she doing here?"

Calvin was now in front of him "how are you alive?"

"whatever do you mean, Frekle? I just got here"

"we just burried you"

"what?"

"you lied" said Nina outloud, slowly "about the accident"

"what accident? What did I do now?"

"the one years ago, when I kicked you out! You lied! You didn't do it, how dare you? How could you lie about that!?"

it took a slow sinking moment for Rocky's whole expresion to shift, from confusion, to shock, to actual anger. He turned to his cousin like a resort "you told her?"

his voice was diferent, a tone darker, serious. His eyes wide, pupils thin, fangs showing "you told her about that?"

his cousin responded in kind "yes"

it was not everyday that you would see them like this, but you could tell they were related in their cold, still anger "why? Why did you do that?" Frekle didn't answer "why would you do that, Frekle?" his voice started rising in an actual frustrated scream "she didn't need to know that, she could have died happy thinking that you were good and I was allways hopeless!"

Frekle's sneer couldn't hold his words anymore "how are you alive?"

"what?"

"we just burried you. How are you here?"

"we just got back from your funeral, Rocky" Jasper made an effort to catch him up to the situation "This is the afterparty. They found a dead guy in your car, wearing your clothes. We thought you were dead. We just buried you. At the Arbogast's"

Realization slowly came to Rocky as he listened with wide eyes. His hands went to his head. "no!" he said "no way...! wait, they found my car?"

"it was run over by a trian"

"what?"

"the body was so mangled it couldn't be recogniced. They thoguht it was you"

"nooononono wait wait MY VIOLIN WAS IN THERE! Did it survive?"

Rocky grabbed onto Jasper's jacket and Jasper grabbed him back by the showlders, shaking him a little "Rocky, answer! Who was it in your car?"

"I... ah I dunno ok? I may have lost a bet to this guy, and then I couldn't pay, and so I gave him my finest clothes but he was still kinda mad, you know, next thing I know, my car is gone"

Jasper stood back, took a deep breath. The whole room took a deep breath, with understanding.

It was someone else. Some other guy wearing Rocky's clotes, driving Rocky's car, who happened to also have grey fur. Rocky may or may not be telling the truth about a bet, he would have to clarify that in privet later, and who knows how the poor bastard got himself run over? Perhaps he planed on geting Rocky's car destroyed out of spite and he miscalculated, perhaps he run into Rocky's enemys, who mistook him for the actual target...

It wasn't Rocky in the car. It was someone else.

The whole room took a colective sigh.

"man how do you keep messing up this bad?"

"I dunno, look" now Rocky sighed, sounding very tired "I had to walk all the way over from the next town, ok? And this is all I got" he gestured to his shirt and pants that weren't his and didn't quite fit him "and its chilly at night" he rubbed his arms. Jasper actually took of his jacket and threw it over his shoulders. It looked so big on his frame, like it was actually a blanket, nearly reaching the floor. Rocky wrapped it arround himself, looking actually relieved and content all snuggly all of the sudden.

"ah, thank you" then he saw Jasper's look, with one eyebrow furrowed, the other arched. He knew this look. He thought for a moment "oh, OH! And... ah, sorry for being an idiot?"

Jasper gestured comicaly for him to keep going, and Rocky looked arround himself, actually looking clueless. Everyone was looking at him in silence and expectation

"wait, you were all that worried for me? Nah, come on! It couldn't be that bad"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS" Ivy yelled now, looking like herself again, looking angry "we thought you was dead! We were mourning you. I CRIED THE WHOLE WAY AND BACK HERE!"

Rocky finally seemed impressed "ok! OK! Im sorry! I didn't know! How could I know? I just spent the whole day in the middle of nowere, trying to get back here, Im sorry!"

"ah, just do try not to scare us like that again" said Miss M, coming up to him now, carasing his cheek in a tired, gentle gesture "at least for a while, ok, sweety?"

"uh, sure Miss M, anything four you"

"it is good to have you back" said Sable, lifting his glass at him. Rocky didn't respond to him, too caught off

"no kidding" said JJ "you mean to drive Zib deeper into the bottle or something?"

"Im not talking to him" said Zib, and actually turned to walk away. The rest of the band followed

"woah, guys, come on" Ben turned and gave him a calm but stern look "no, man. You really scared us this time" before he too, walked out.

This seemed to resonate with Rocky, his ears turning droopy.

"ah, they'll come arround" said Jasper "you have to admit you did a number on all of us"

"but... but I..." Rocky didn't finish the sentence. He looked down. Jasper knew the turmoil beneath his constant smiles and toxic optimism. This had to be stirring all that

"look, for one, you no longer have an excuse not to bunk in with me. So let's go"

"oh, no no, that's ok"

"don't argue. You don't even have the car anymore. You'r coming with me. Period"

Rocky made an atempt to resist but he didn't have words anymore. He just followed Jasper as he opened the door for him, unaware that his aunt and cousin were just now puting together he had been sleeping in the car.

(Author's note) this was also inspired by Aveen's fic wich starts with Rocky's death and aparently has an open ending. Here's the link to that one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47728090/chapters/120311308

[emeraldoo]

none of the fucking above. I got my name from my 8th grade French 1 class. The class sucked and was cut short by covid, but our teacher made us pick 'french names' and my dead name is very uncommon because it is cultural (even though none of my family come from said culture [indian] which is... interesting!)

so i was looking at the list and was like "hrmmmm... i will choose something with the first letter of my name (s)...." And there were No! Female names! Starting with S! dang!! so i look at the boys side giggling with my BFF like 'hehe wouldnt it be funny if i picked 'sebastián'.. even tho im a girl?!?! lololol' and i did infact pick sebastian. and my teacher was just like 'ok. there you go then' and we made these little name card things we put at the front of our desk it was great. (my teacher definitely knew i was trans before i did LMFAOOO)

anyways fast forward some months? i started getting into online queer culture and at the time identified as demigirl. and then nonbinary. and then was like 'oh shit.' and fell down a hill of realizing 'OGUHHHH IM NOT NORMAL HELP ME' and then just telling my very closest friends to call me sebastian. or 'seba' (fun fact i have super old art from when i called myself seba of my old sona labelled 'seba' lol)

but the nickname seba actually made me prtty disphoric bc it is one letter away from my deadname! unfun af! so i started thinking 'hrmmm what about.. the bastian!! of sebastian! that's so much cooler lol' And then also changed the spelling bc i don't get why it's got an a like?? wtf? die anyways there's my life story goodnight

found this on pinterest CHAOTIC EVIL GANG STAND UPPP

[tiny-tigers]

hey girl my advice (from someone who as a teen had a serious harry styles obsession🤣) is to remind yourself that you should be living life for yourself and not to please someone else! in the bluntest way possible, if they wouldn’t do what you do for them, for you, then it’s not worth it! moments of acknowledgment might give you happiness but nothing is as fulfilling as real reciprocated love, which sometimes these obsessions can stop us from getting.

I actually found that going completely cold turkey and cutting off all contact with anything to do with the person helped me, then when I knew I wasn’t emotionally invested anymore I could become just a fan again. otherwise it is more difficult to slowly step back from the position you’re in now.

as well, spending money on these small burst of happiness from seeing someone is okay but if the happiness comes from a place of hope that something more can happen then maybe it’s worth reconsidering whether it is financially and emotionally worthwhile

it can always helps to find a real life situation too to focus on!

remind yourself what is real and what you just hope is real 🪽

Hi ❤️‍🩹,

Firstly thank you for taking the time to answer me with that long message ( I appreciate )

Second, I unfortunately think it is not exactly where the problem lies ? Well partly but not entirely ?

I think I am not confused between what is real and what could be as I am plenty aware of his situation - friendship circle / gf / family and his will to be under radar for that part ( I didn’t tried to get F involved with the page or anything) / I am aware I could never be part of that world BUT

I used to think it was because I was too ugly too much imperfect , it made me so angry about myself because when he was with common girls I was asking myself « why not me » in the back of my head and for that you are true.

When in reality if you take only F , yes she is common but she has a background I could never have : English / same circle of friends / money / blonde / stereotypical / high position in F1 so high profile … and so and so. I cannot compete and was never in competition from start simply because I am identified as a fan anyway. So I have real knowledge about my reality I am not derailing.

Why it hurts tho it is when I wish he never acknowledged me , it started by a DM from his part and from that gesture it all started to make him approachable and to blur distance between « « star » » and I .

I could just see him as back then being a little boy in his path to glory having his first fan and in a sense it is what happened it is what makes me special and he already told me it was the case. We do share a special bond only in that way , as much as he is coming to see page everyday and made the promise he will continue to do so…I think he likes it as much as he hates it (just like me), people must tease him which he must hate but I think he wouldn’t care that much if he wasn’t a bit hyped by having a fanpage.

What hurts / disgust me

It is people who tried to match with him with fake dating profiles while he was still on dating apps to prove me a point ( that I will never get a chance and pretending to have receipts on how bad he was when he actually wasn’t) just because they had saw here I was infatuated. They used him just to hurt me.

People who pretended to have info just to hurt me / some that wanted to deal pictures /infos requesting sexual favors ( do I look that naïve honestly ?!!! And think so low of my self esteem that it looks ok to request that ???) / him being ok with his friend flirting and giving me as a prey was absolutely not ok.

With the popularity of the page, his friends and family members came along and it is all I ever dreamed of as I wanted the page to be only for him to have a safe place but they allowed me a place I shouldn’t have taken because I am not having the neutrality to be distant enough I recognize. Either I blame him and don’t rate him or I hype him too much, no in between as I struggle to find some equilibrium. I think it is better when I don’t check socials media that much and I am more focused and unbothered by his flinch of heart when I do sort myself out of it all and don’t get involved with emotional side first.

The problem is : I am emotionally invested, I am too much involved already, I am persuaded I care too much and I am irrevocably in love with him without knowing the depth of who he is so I guess I am under the impression I will always be in love with that image of him I created in my mind no matter what and how hard I try . He should do something really really bad to break the charm and spell I am under.

And I do not care that much it is one sided because he gave me a lot in return / friendships / travels / joys etc

That part is very clear . He is that star . I am that worm star gazer , looking at star from a high telescope 🔭 and it will never change : and honestly that is okay ✅

Sometimes star is shining very close to that worm (caterpillar much idk ?so at least room for improvement🐛) and it gave her life.

I have based for too long my life on what saved me from despair : him , rugby and all. I need to switch interest because it is obsessive and when I lack recognition from him I feel like a part of me is dying. He crossed my sky when I was at the deepest low I had experienced in life and he pulled me back up so I feel like I owe him a bit.

In a way it is the worst because it is not that much one sided in terms of recognition? I am important as his first fan , he gave me everything I could dream of as a fan , he is not that much unapproachable which is even worse as it entertain the bond , he knows me , my first name , my story , where I come from , he sees me , so yah I shouldn’t be complained or in the need to want more and more every time , I just need to be satisfied as it is and that is all.

I have too much feelings for him as I cannot recognize him as having a lot of defaults when I am sure that if I knew who he truly was maybe I would never want to touch him with a stick?

And last problem I live for aesthetic , I am deeply interested in art and beauty, from a young age to my studies to my job and career… So take it as it is , with very biased eyes , but for me and maybe only me, he is the most beautiful thing (cannot be human) I have ever seen in my life : no less.

And it hurts that is a living thing 🤣 if I could frame it and put it into a museum for everyone to see but no one to touch I would still go to that gallery every day .

Ok I didn’t unpacked much and need to reread your advices because some of them addressed the problem indeed but some didn’t it is just me being stupid

[wigglebox]

hello i am having thoughts TM

and yes, these are cockles thoughts, and yes it’ll probably get a little tinhatty, but i don’t care. we’re doing what we’re doing tonight, aren’t we?

anyway, first of all, a label doesn’t define a relationship. 

okay that’s out of the way. 

onto what i think it’s going on. 

i think... 

that in the course of his marriage and experimentation and all that, over the years, it's mostly been with another women, by vicki's own words in her book. it feels like that was the trend. [...] ETA: i have changed this sentence to take out indications in the book that he may have been with men. i typed it odd and realized i implied that. [...] idk if it ticked enough boxes for him. labels mean different things to different people personally when presented with them. 

time goes by, meets jackles. things hit off. a friend mentioned men in woods sounded tentative, and i agree, and i’m sure plenty of y’all felt that too. i am also one of those little monsters that thinks it’s about jackles, personally. 

like he did not intiate anyhting in that poem. something happened in that poem for it to be included at the end of that section of love, especially when the first poem in that section is about someone else making, i assumed vicki, happier than misha made her feel. i’m free for different interpretations on that, since i’m admittedly not that great with poetry lol.

so the last poem to me, MIW, is about someone who makes him feel happy.

but god as my witness i don't think he thinks a a few trysts as part of a threesome or whatever with a dude over the course of his marriage and then one relationship that's really deep in several kinds of ways with one other man is enough to convince misha he's anything but straight with some fluidity thrown in there.

i think he's been opening up more, however. i and a lot of others, maybe you reading this was thinking that too. that cas and pride month post, wearing pride merch outside of pride month etc etc. 

one thing from his thread that stood out to me was this 

i think he needs to talk about it. Or wants to talk about it even. last week, or so, there was an article published by Natalie Fisher. in there she talked about that little cas essay thing that we always hoped he’d publish. in there he said this:

so i don’t think he thinks he’s queer enough to get a queer label or talk in these spaces. 

before I go on, i just want to preface this by saying i do respect where he wants to land. if he says he’s something, by golly i’ll salute and say ‘yes sir’ because it’s his life and that’s what he wants. but straight doesn’t mean the frat bro down the road who has a massive pick up truck and will constantly tell you that it’s only boobs babes and beer in his brain. like that’s not everything. 

there’s a no mans land between what someone can perceive bisexuality or pansexuality to mean, and what they perceive straight to be. i don’t know his definitions. i don’t know how he looks at these things. but we know he’s been kissed by another man, been on a camping trip with them, skinny dipped in a ‘shallow stream’. we also know his other little quips over the years that have indicated more or less why we thought he’d land in Queerland USA. 

clearly that didn’t happen. and personally, and i’m not saying this to invalidate him, but personally i think what he needed is to talk to people about this. idk maybe he’s doing it IRL and we’re naturally not privvy to it. but again, i go back to this part of his tweet

and how he brought up even bisexuality in a little comment about being introverted or extroverted. he didn’t have to do that. and he didn’t have to make the other comments too. 

i think he wants to discuss it, or wanted to. 

but his quip [adhd is a curse] flew too close to the sun. i absolutely do not think the media would have picked up on it if we weren’t parading it around everywhere. but i also fault the media as well, publishing these articles about him without speaking with him, even getting facts wrong about his personal life. everyone has skin in this horribile game so we may as well own up to it. there’s no different between a reporter assuming what his words meant, and us assuming what his words meant. 

so again, i do think that he wanted to talk about it but it’s been a hard conversation to have. 

and now idk if we’ll ever get it. 

the press got ahold of it and once it hit people magazine, i think this is what happened [warning, tinfoil on!]:

1) he now realized he couldn’t really talk about it anymore. 

2) i truly think those articles were a little scary and was getting out of hand. the articles named his children and his ex wife. he has to make sure they’re okay. his kids are getting older, they’re online now. idk if they have twitter or anything but peers may, and peers may see his name trending and click on it wondering what’s going on. protect the family. 

3) any confirmation that he considers himself slightly off the path of straight now opens up people to pry into his private life. you know what’s just beneath the surface of ‘is misha bi????’

cockles shit. you don’t think the press can find this stuff? someone posted about them living together after that tweet last summer, based off of information they had received [which, unrelated but slightly related, very not cool at all wtf]. you don’t think a journalist won’t find misha’s poly comments? his wife’s book? dig up old gossip on jensen of all people? and i bring him up especially because that man has already had gossip columnists accusing him of being gay since early in his career. there were gossip blogs claiming j2 were a thing so much — why would misha want him to go through that again? takes maybe a night of digging through things and receipts. we documented that shit well. 

so that leads me to 

4) protect friends, but especially jensen. like okay again, very VERY tinhatty, but if we’re taking an objective eye to this, it’s clear that even if they’re just friends, they’re pretty damn good friends. with all the jokes over the years, all of our own receipts and speculation, all of the past context a journalist needs to dig up rumors that jensen is, once again, ~*gaaay! oooohhh!!!*~ that’s not great news. 

and from there that’s how Dee gets roped into it, that’s how THEIR kids get roped into it. they’ve had to deal with these allegations before, and they’re pretty private as a family. don’t want to drag people through that. 

so

if misha decided to yoink a label that he didn’t feel comfortable yoinking in the first place, but decided to yoink a queer label without meaningful discussions with people about his sexuality, like he clearly has on his mind, then that would have opened up family, friends, family OF the friends, his whole life up, others’ whole lives up...

and we know what hollywood does to men when this happens. 

no, i don’t think misha intentionally sabotaged himself in the name of cockles or whatever, but i do think this is a multi-faceted thing. 

he’s straight, by his own definition. but it still doesn’t feel like the whole story. and all we can really do is just keep holding hands with him and hope one day there are things he can tell us.

[seungkwansphd]

swept off his feet

pairing: jun x fem reader wordcount: 3.8k summary: when you show up one night with the clear intention of confronting your cheating boyfriend, jun knows that he shouldn’t let you in. but he has such a soft spot for you and he’s so much bigger than Dean that it wouldn’t even be an issue if it came to a physical altercation. genre/themes: size kink size kink size kink, smut (MDNI!), lil fluff, lil angst, cheating bf, girls supporting girls, bouncer!jun, secret crush, mentions of jun being larger than reader, manhandling them & things in that vein. some plot.

a/n: IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT THIS MAN BUT...had a bit of a breakdown, bon appetit!

[dean]: ‘i’m so sorry babe, i’m going out with the boys on friday! i’ll make it up to you tho’

    You frowned at your phone. You’d known that Dean was going to turn down your date suggestion for Friday, but it didn’t make it any easier of a pill to swallow.

    A few weeks ago, one of your friends had mentioned that they’d seen Dean looking suspiciously cozy with another person at a bar. After some good old internet sleuthing, you’d DM-ed her and let her know that you were, unfortunately, dating the same guy. You had been very grateful that it hadn’t turned into a catfight and even more delighted when Ava suggested that you work together to surprise and confront Dean. She and Dean would be going out to The Nines on Friday and you planned to be there at the same time.

“Oh hi Jun!” you greeted the tall man at the door with surprise. “You don’t usually work Friday?” you half-stated, half-asked. You liked Jun, he was always willing to listen to your drunk musings when he happened to be working.

“No, but Mingyu needed the night off so I took his shift.”

“Ah, I see,” you nodded, “Well…can I share something with you if you promise to still let me in?”

“…Yes,” Jun responded, suspicious.

“Promise,” you insisted, extending your hand to him. Jun laughed and hooked his pinky into yours.

“I might cause a bit of a scene tonight,” you grimaced apologetically.

“Oh?” he furrowed his brow at you, “Should I be worried?”

    You thought for a second. You doubted that it would come to a physical altercation, but you never knew with men. Jun was taller and broader than Dean anyways, so you didn’t think it would really be an issue even then. You felt a little bad because you did intend to cause a bit of a scene, but Dean deserved it!

“No, I don’t think so,” you smiled, giving him a once over. Yeah, even if Dean could fight, Jun definitely had the size advantage on him.

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I will kick you out if I need to.”

“Fair’s fair,” you laughed before stepping into the bar.

    Jun knew he was being too lenient with you. If any other patron had told him they intended to cause trouble, he would’ve turned them away, but he had such a soft spot for you. You’d wander out every so often to bum a cigarette and chatter away about your day. You discussed all manner of topics and had gotten to know each other decently well. By the time he’d realized he was harboring a crush, you had already started seeing Dean.

    You took a seat at a table in the back and sipped on your drink while you waited for Dean and Ava to arrive. You couldn’t yet identify how you felt about the betrayal, that was still a tangled ball of feelings to unpack, but what you were sure about was that both you and Ava deserved better than a liar and cheater. You watched people curiously until you noticed Dean and Ava enter the building and take a couple of seats at the bar. You finished your drink, allowing them to settle in a bit, before you approached.

“Hi Ava!” you greeted her excitedly, pulling her in for a small hug, “I didn’t know you were going out! Oh…Dean?” you fixed him with a fake, confused look. “Oh? Do you two know each other?”

“We do! Do you two know each other?” Ava asked, acting similarly confused.

“I-, uh, yeah,” Dean stuttered. You were surprised at how satisfying it felt to see him flounder like this.

“Dean, baby, I thought you were going out with the boys tonight?” you wound your arm around his waist exaggeratedly.

“Baby?” Ava questioned, doing a great job of acting taken aback.

“I-, uh, no, it’s not-,” Dean was turning a wonderful shade of cranberry as he struggled, “Ava and I, we...”

“Oh cut the crap, Dean,” you finally decided to drop the act, starting to feel a little sick to your stomach. “We both know.”

“What?” his expression transitioned from confusion into anger, “Are you serious? You two set this whole little thing up? To what? Make a fool out of me?”

“I think you did that yourself, my guy,” Ava crossed her arms over her chest, looking him up and down with disgust.

“You fuckin’ bitch, you gotta be kidding me!” Dean stood up, furious.

“Whoa, hey,” the bartender, James, reached an arm out, signaling to Jun, who was already at your side.

“You gotta be a special kind of stupid to think that we wouldn’t find out,” you hissed at him. You were surprised at the venom in your voice, but all of the hurt that you’d been repressing decided to show up here and now.

    Dean stepped towards you and Ava, planning to do God knows what, so you instinctively stepped in front of Ava. He was circumvented, however, by Jun picking him completely off his feet.

“You must be pretty fuckin’ pleased, Wen,” Dean shouted as Jun carried him away. “You can finally shoot your shot.”

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Ava fussed over you, slightly in shock.

“Yes, are you?” you asked, giving her a once over.

“Yea?” she nodded as she patted herself a few times before giving you a thumbs up. “Yeah, I’m good!”

    You watched as Dean struggled against Jun, but again with the height advantage, it was light work for Jun to escort him out of the premises. It was a little funny to see Dean emasculated in this way, legs flailing. It was satisfying in a lot of ways.

“Am I crazy, or is that kind of hot?” she commented in disbelief, gesturing at Jun. 

“God, I don’t know,” you shook your head. You didn’t want to think about that right now.

“You alright?” Jun came to check on you two.

“Yeah, we’re good,” you nodded, slightly flushed across your cheeks. “Do we have to leave?”

“...Yes,” Jun finally replied after a long pause. You could tell that he didn’t want to do it, but you had indeed caused quite a stir.

“That’s okay,” you chuckled up at him, “I told you I was gonna make trouble tonight. You shouldn’t have even let me in. You’re too nice to me.”

“You’re easy to be nice to,” Jun murmured, lips pulled up into a crooked smile.

    Ava watched the way Jun looked at you and her eyes widened excitedly.

“We’re going!” she piped up helpfully, tugging you away from Jun before James banned both of you forever.

“YN!” Ava stomped her foot at you after she had gotten you fully outside.

“What?” you cocked your head at her.

“I think that bouncer in there likes you! Did you hear what Dean said?”

“No, what did he say?” you furrowed your brows. You hadn’t really been listening all that closely.

“He said ‘you can finally shoot your shot’. He had to have meant you.”

“I-, Jun?”

“Come on, let’s go to Felicia’s! We need to discuss!” Ava tugged you towards the cocktail lounge. She had really enjoyed getting to know you over the last weeks and she was hoping you could become friends. This was a good first step!

…

“Eee, I’m so excited, their cocktails look so good here!” Ava clapped her hands together happily as you walked into Longfellow with her. You’d been a little surprised at the way that Ava had continued to stay in touch with you after the showdown with Dean. It wasn’t as if you minded it. After this whole thing with Dean, you felt a little protective of her.

“Oh, isn’t that Jun?” her eyes lit up excitedly as she spotted the familiar man at the end of the bar.

“Is it?” you asked.

“It is!” she nodded, making a beeline towards him. You had no choice but to follow. He seemed a little surprised when Ava popped up at his side, which made you laugh. His eyes flicked to you at this sound and flicked back just as quickly.

“Hey,” he nodded, eyebrows raising slightly.

“So this is where you hang out on your days off?”

“Sometimes,” he shifted in his seat to face you fully.

“And who are these folks?” his companion turned to face you with a bright grin.

“A couple of troublemakers,” Jun grumbled affectionately.

“Rude,” Ava laughed, “But in this singular instance, true. I’m Ava.”

“Chan,” he smiled back at her.

“You two staying in touch, then?” Jun asked as Ava and Chan were drawn into their own conversation.

“Seems so,” you chuckled, feeling a bit nervous around him.

    Ava had passionately made her case about Jun liking you and it had really stuck in your mind. She had more or less forced you to contend with the fact that Jun was incredibly kind and attractive and you probably wouldn’t hate it if what Dean had alluded to was true.

“How are you doing since…you know,” Jun asked.

“Ah, well…,” you thought for a moment. “Was upset. Had a bit of a breakdown and…bon appetit,” you laughed nervously, unsure how much you really wanted to share with Jun.

    Jun sputtered, completely caught off guard by your response. Ava and Chan looked up from their conversation and a sort of soft warmth spread through you as you took pleasure in making Jun laugh.

“Pretty fuckin cozy,” an unfortunately familiar and grating voice cut through Jun’s laughter and your thoughts. You looked up to see Dean sneering at you. “Didn’t take you two too long to get busy, huh? If you wanted him so bad, you could have just broken up with me. You didn’t have to ruin things with me and Ava too!”

    Your brow furrowed, temper flaring at his persistent idiocy. “Are you hearing yourself?” you stepped towards him instinctively.

“Whoa, hey!” Jun jumped off of his stool and caught you in his left arm before you did something you would regret. You found yourself tucked into his side as he turned to dress Dean down himself. “You are wildly out of line, Dean. The only person who did anything wrong in this situation was you. You had a great thing going and you made the decision to go and fuck it up. What happens next is none of your business, so I really have to recommend that you make yourself scarce.”

    The intensity of Jun’s gaze and the ease with which he’d picked you up made your heart flip flop.

    Dean looked up at Jun defiantly before he assessed that this would not go in his favor. Throwing his hands up in the air, he played it off as if it wasn’t worth his time. Ava looked up at Jun with a sense of wonderment while you dangled off of his arm.

“Um, Jun?” you spoke up, wiggling slightly against him. He was warm and firm against your back in a way that you didn’t not enjoy, but you imagined he was tired of holding you up.

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot I still had ya,” he chuckled sheepishly, setting you down. The adrenaline had really kicked in while confronting Dean. His right hand came to your waist to steady you on your feet and his fingertips brushed against some of your exposed skin.

“Oh,” you couldn’t prevent the breathy exhale that escaped you at this touch. Your heart pounded wildly in your chest.

“You good?” he asked, voice low.

“I’m not sure,” you feeling unsteady on your feet, “You still got me?”

“Yeah, I got you,” he smiled in a way that made your breath catch.

“Will you two get out of here already?!” Ava exclaimed with frustration as she punched the air.

    Jun raised an eyebrow at you, an unspoken question. You inhaled sharply before you nodded and you felt yourself being picked back up and carried out of the bar. Your rational mind knew that this brutish, caveman-like display should have embarrassed you, turned you off, but your lizard brain was in strong disagreement.

“Did you drive?” he asked as his fingertips stroked at the small of your back.

“No, Ava did,” you shook your head.

“Okay,” he nodded curtly before moving towards his truck. With ease, he maneuvered you to open the passenger door and place you on the seat before he jumped into the driver side. “By the way I have no expectations. I’m happy to drop you off at home too, just give me an address.”

“I-,” your brows pinched together as you looked at him with surprise. He was so kind. “I don’t know your address, though?” you cocked your head at him playfully.

“Hah,” he tucked his head and let out a shy laugh, “Fair enough.”

    Jun maneuvered the truck deftly, his fingertips briefly brushing by your cheek when he hooked his arm around the passenger side headrest. You were surprised when that same hand found its way to yours, threading your fingers together. His thumb brushed against the back of your hand and forced you to register just how small your hand was in his. You’d never been a hand girly, but you could see the appeal when you looked at Jun’s. It was hard not to imagine him continuing to manhandle you, gripping and teasing, reducing you to a pile of mush.

    By the time he had parked, you were slick. You hopped out of the truck and Jun resisted the urge to capture your lips in a brief kiss before leading you up to his apartment. He wasn’t interested in anything depthless with you. He’d waited patiently and there wasn’t any need to hurry now.

    You swallowed hard and you watched Jun unlock his door. You knew he was tall, but somehow it didn’t register all the time. Now when he drew himself up to full height in that jacket, you could say with confidence that it was doing something to you.

“Kiss me,” you requested, practically bowling him over.

    Jun was delighted. Your hands pushed the jacket off of his shoulders as he did just that, swallowing your delighted noises. He deposited you on the sofa in order to shrug the jacket completely off. Your eyes sparkled up at him and it made his pulse go haywire. He picked you up easily and finished the walk to his bedroom before setting you down again.

“So gorgeous,” he murmured as he tucked his face into your neck, kissing softly across your jaw. He was pleased when you gasped, shifting to allow him more access. His hands brushed up your thighs and you shuddered at his touch.

“Jun,” you whimpered as his palm slid up your inner thigh and you squeezed them together instinctively.

“YN,” Jun exhaled shakily, “You are making it so difficult to remain a gentleman,” he spoke in such a low register that you almost felt it more than you heard it.

“Don’t be,” your lips curled into a grin. “I want you.”

    Jun’s eyebrow raised and his hot gaze raked over you as he shifted the hand between your thighs to press against you through your pants. You let out a breathy sigh as your hips shifted, grinding against him eagerly. Jun’s pupils dilated as he watched you work yourself against him shamelessly.

“Look at yourself,” he remarked appreciatively. “So eager.”

“Jun,” your voice grew higher pitched, signaling your desperation.

“Come for me, angel,” he smiled, coaxing your first orgasm from you. “You are so incredibly sexy, I need you to know that.”

“Shut up,” you laughed shyly at his praise. Jun cut you off with another kiss as he tugged at your shirt. You took the opportunity to undress and the way Jun looked at you made your head spin.

“Look at you,” he groaned as he pushed you onto your back. He left warm, wet kisses up your inner thighs until he lapped at your glistening folds, tasting you fully. Your skin pebbled at the sensation as his tongue dragged across you again. Jun took a pace that was languid and leisurely. He licked and sucked noisily at your cunt, arms hooked around your thighs to keep you spread open for him.

“Juuuuuun!” you let out a fluttery whine when his nose pressed against your clit. When you looked down at him, you could tell that he was grinning mischievously. He ground tiny circles against you, working your breaths into shallow pants again.

“Fuck,” you breathed shakily as you came down from a second high, almost lightheaded at the intensity.

“You are so fun to make cum,” Jun half-smiled up at you, resting his cheek against your thigh.

“Thanks, as soon as I get my bearings I’ll return the favor,” you joked, leaning forward to look at him.

“We’ll see,” he grinned, getting up to undress. Your eyes widened with each piece of clothing that he shed. Jun was in almost unreal shape, but the thing that actually gobsmacked you was when he pulled his jeans off, unleashing his cock. So everything was to scale.

    You moved without thinking, hand grabbing it by the base. You couldn’t help but bask in the soft curses and grunts that left Jun’s lips as you stroked him. You enjoyed the weight and girth of it in your hand before Jun pulled you onto your side, spooning you from behind, and folding you forward. His hips met yours as his cock slid between your legs, fucking your slick thighs.

“So wet,” he sounded proud as his shaft dragged up and down your clit, driving you out of your mind.

“Jun, please,” you grabbed the arm that was hooked around your waist. “I want you in me,” you whimpered.

    Jun nodded, turning away for a moment to grab a condom out of his nightstand. He had slipped it on and lined himself up when you twisted towards, grabbing his free hand with yours.

“Let me? You’re huge,” you asked as your hips were already moving, your lips nuzzling around his tip. Jun laced his fingers in yours and watched as you worked yourself down to his hilt. You exhaled triumphantly as you took a moment to simply enjoy feeling full.

“Fucking fuck,” Jun cursed, hands coming up to squeeze your breasts as you just sat on his cock, wet and warm.

“Hm!” you giggled delightedly at the way he palmed your breasts, squeezing almost hard enough to hurt but only just. “Jun, I need you to fuck me now,” you finally confessed.

    Jun’s control snaps. He practically growls as he pulls his hips back and drives into you, deep. One arm snakes around your waist possessively, using it to stroke you down on his cock, increasing slightly in pace.

    You reach up to cover your mouth, an effort to muffle your own obscene noises for fear of disturbing his neighbors but Jun had other ideas.

“Let me hear you,” he grunts into your ear as he bucks up into you, turning you inside out. “Let them hear what I do to you,” he smirks, possessive side fully unleashed. He curled forward, teeth dragging across your shoulder as he stroked into you, deep and hard.

“Jun, I-!” you let out a strangled cry, walls fluttering around him as you cum.

“So good,” he pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he squeezed you tight.

    You reveled in the security of it before the thick feeling of him inside of you had you ready for more. You wiggled out of his grasp and climbed on top of him, straddling him as you peppered his face with kisses.

“You’re really sexy,” you pulled back to look at him as you teased yourself around his tip. Jun laughed shyly at the compliment, momentarily ignoring the urge to pull you down around him.

“Am I?” he grinned up at you, hands resting at your waist. You shivered when his thumbs brushed against your lowest ribs.

“Yes.”

“Why?” Jun probed. He knew he was fishing but he was curious.

“I,” your ears grew hot, “You’re so big!” you blurted out. Not your most eloquent moment, but it got the point across.

“Oh?” he queried, eyes darkening at you.

“You picked me up so easily, my mind just went blank,” you explained, despite feeling extremely shy.

“Ah,” Jun nodded with understanding, “You like when I manhandle you a little?” he teased, hands gripping tightly around your hips. You gasped when he lifted you up easily, a thin strand of your arousal stretching from your lips to his tip.

“Yes,” you squeaked, clutching his shoulders for support as he held you up, suspended mid-air.

“Hn,” he purred, lowering you until you were lined up with him again before jerking you back up just as quickly.

“Jun!” you gasped, “My god will you impale me already?” you asked impatiently, head empty, no thoughts.

    Jun smirks before pulling you down around him gently. He still wasn’t sure how accustomed you were to his size and he didn’t want to run the risk of hurting you. Your soft moans egged him until you looked up at him, eyes full of hunger.

“Jun, I need you to rail me. Please,” you begged, desperation clear in your voice. Jun’s eyebrows raised in surprise before he nodded, pulling you down against him, setting a near punishing pace. You let out a satisfied sigh as you worked yourself up and down his girth, your soft pants filling the room.

“You’re kidding,” Jun groans, feeling himself rapidly unravel. His hands grip your hips tightly as he strokes up into you. Your breath catches when he shifts slightly, somehow hitting impossibly deeper.

“Jun,” you squeak, eyes squeezed shut as you shudder around him. “Jun, I’m coming!”

    Jun exhaled sharply as his hips stuttered into you, finding his own release. He smiles when you fall onto him. The feel of your skin on his is addicting.

“You’ll stay the night?” Jun asked hopefully as he pulled himself out of you to clean up.

“If that’s okay?” you smiled at him.

“More than,” he smiled his boxy smile back at you.

He helped you clean up and dressed you in one of his shirts, which absolutely swallowed you.

“No! You look too adorable,” he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook jokingly. You chuckled at his antics, Jun had always been able to make you laugh. “Do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked suddenly after you’d laid back down.

“No, do you?” you shook your head.

“Let’s spend the day together,” he smiled at you, “Dean may be a moron, but he was right that I’ve liked you for a while. I just want to make it very clear that I’m not interested in just being a rebound.”

    You kicked your feet happily as you squeezed him around the waist. On this issue you were in total agreement.

[aro-culture-is]

Hi! I’m 13 and I think I might be arospec? Is that the correct term? Like I’ve had three crushes in the past, one when I was maybe 4 for a day I don’t think that counts tho because I probably just wanted to be friends with him? Idk I don’t remember very well. The second one was longer because we used to live close by but after some time I realised that maybe I just wanted to be friends with him (in the place where I used to live if a boy and a girl were friends it was automatically assumed to be romantic) and the third one was in school in third grade and I liked him for a bit longer but after that I hated him because he became a huge jerk. My best friend at the time obviously knew about crush2 and crush3 and she told one of the kinda- popular girls on a trip in 5th grade and then basically the whole grade knew about it. Initially I tried to say that I didn’t like them anymore but then I stopped because it was considered normal to like someone and I just didn’t want to stop because it just made me look a little bit cooler ig.

So anyway sorry about that i started rambling😅 but all that was three years ago and I haven’t liked anyone for any duration ever since and if I do feel anything the feelings are usually few and far between.

Thanks for the help!!

honestly, I think it's useful to consider that many alloromantic people begin experiencing romo attraction around the age of 10. not experiencing romantic attraction as frequently as your peers is generally a good indicator that you might be aro-spec.

regardless, if you like the community and label, feel free to identify as aro-spec! if that changes later - that's okay and common! goodness knows I've had a lot of identities over the years.

we answer questions like these in the tag #am i aro, tagged on this post. (for new tumblr users, selecting the tag from this post will link you to a page showing posts from that blog with that tag)