#the frantic waving of the guitar is such a vibe honestly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spookysweet-heart · 4 years ago

Text

Reshape The Past

Request: No

Fandom: Battle Egos

Parings: Battle Egos x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mention of Death

A/N: This is Part Two! Part One can be found here! This is gonna be a Julie and The Phantoms AU, with the Holloway Sisters and Battle Boys! I hope you like it! The songs featured throughout the series are by their respective bands and artists, I’ll link each song that’s featured so you all can listen along. Each song I chose has significance to the story, so I hope you pay attention to them! The collage was made by me! Edited by @semiproeagle23

The girls looked at each other before they turned their attention to the drum set.

“Who’s going to play the drums….” Raven spoke softly, walking towards them placing a gentle hand on one of the drums.

Marie glanced at the drums before looking back down at her notebook, feeling unsure.

Anne bit her lip nervously while clenching and unclenching her fists. “I-” Taking a deep breath in and out, she let her nerves slip away. “I’ll do it. This song doesn’t need a keyboardist anyway. I know her parts.”

Marie took Anne’s hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you sure?”

“Positive!” Anne smiled at her sisters as Raven walked towards her with Natalie’s drumsticks.

“Our little sunshine, still brightening up the place even if we’re dead.” She playfully ruffled Anne’s hair, making her giggle.

“It’s settled, then! Let’s go get (Y/n)!” Marie was the first one to disappear with the other two following along.

Sitting at the kitchen table, you took a sip of your coffee and scrolled through your phone, seeing the pictures your mom posted of her and your younger siblings in her new house. Looking up from your phone, you saw the three women staring at you sitting at the table.

“Jesus fucking Christ! How long have you three been here?!”

“Just got here, actually. Had breakfast yet?” Anne sweetly smiled and looked around, noticing a bowl by the sink.

“Just some cereal. Why? Did you want something to eat?”

“We can’t eat.”

“Or sleep.”

“Or pick up anything that isn’t ours.”

“What?” You looked at them a little confused.

Raven excitedly looked at you, grinning. “So last night we figured out we can pick up and play our instruments!”

“We wanna know if it’s okay if we show you a song we wrote?” Marie slid her notebook to you.

Taking the notebook, you looked through the pink and black colored pages. Reading the lyrics for a few seconds, you looked back at them, nodding. “Sure, why not. I should still have time before I have to get to class.” Sliding the book back, you stood up, putting the mug in the sink, and followed them out to the studio.

Raven pulled out a chair for you to sit on in front of them.

“Are you ready?” Anne asked you after she got comfortable behind the drums.

“Ready when you guys are. What’s the song called again?”

Raven smiled, adjusting her mic. “Candy Coated Lies!”

Marie grinned, adjusting the strap of the guitar. Counting down silently from three with her fingers, the group began to play.

Marie started feeling the excitement run through her when she started to sing. “Just about done livin' this life. Look at my face when you're talking to me, talking to me. Brought a blunt knife to a gunfight. Words and phrases lock me in cages. I'm taking my time if it's alright. Hold the world up but it's weighing on me, weighing on me. Watch it all fall from a great height. All these rats that are running races.”

Raven took over the pre-chorus. “Stay away, you push me to the edge. I need a tidal wave to drown out all the pain in me” She looked over at Marie when she joined her for the chorus.

“Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Anne focused as much as she could on playing the drums. It felt a little off at first, but she started to feel free with each passing beat. Raven and Marie glanced back at her when she took over the vocals. “You're killin' my vibe for the last time. Vultures up high started preying on me, preying on me. Take a step back to the broadside, 'cause I'm not as brave as I'm letting on to be. Losing my breath but I'm alive. Should have spent more time fighting for me, fighting for me. Making my way to the bright side. Is there paradise?”

The other two join in, the three of them singing the chorus. “Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Raven took the lead for a moment to let Marie catch her breath a little longer. “Talons digging deep down inside of me. Holding this absentee, guilty, and desperately.”

Marie closed her eyes for a second and smiled when she opened them again, seeing you look at them in awe. Giving this last round her all, you saw her grow more and more passionate about asking you to join their band. “Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Just about to break, I can't stand the taste of Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Every day, the same, driving me insane. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. Stay away, you push me to the edge. Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies. I need a tidal wave, to drown out all the pain in these, Candy-coated lies, these candy-coated lies.”

Anne dropped the drumsticks, shaking her fingers to loosen them up. Raven took off the strap of her bass and carefully put it back in its place. Marie breathed a bit heavily, but her smile never faded. “So? What’d ya think?”

Smiling, you stood up, clapping for them. “That was amazing! But is Anne okay?”

“I’m fine! Not used to playing drums is all!” She lightly waved her hand, dismissing your concern. “All good!”

Raven walked towards you with a small smile on her face. “This isn’t everything, to be honest.”

Marie gestured to the logo on the drum set. “We want you to be a part of our band!”

“(Y/n)?? Hey! Are you here?!” A voice from the other side of the door caught you four off guard.

“Oh shit! No, I forgot my friend was coming over today to help unpack…” You looked around frantically before Raven got your attention.

“Hey, we’re ghosts, remember? They probably won’t be able to see us.”

“R-right…” Turning your attention to the door, you made your way to it, opening it. “Erica!! Hey!”

“Hey, yourself! I was looking for you everywhere and when I made my way back here, I heard music coming from inside.”

The girls looked at each other with wide eyes and smiles when they realized what she said.

Erica looked around, seeing the stereo was on. “So you were just listening to music, then?”

“Yup!”

“Seriously, you of all people need to sign up for the talent show this weekend! Your name alone could get you a deal.”

Playfully rolling your eyes, you wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “That’s exactly what I don’t want. If I want a deal with a label, I want it for my talent, not the name.”

“You never want an easy way in.”

“Nope! It takes the fun out of everything. You know I wanna work on this.”

“I’m just saying, the opportunity is there. You should take it.”

“Don’t think so. C’mon, I’ll buy you breakfast on the way to school.” Quickly waving to the girls, you closed the door behind you, leaving them alone.

Anne took a seat on the couch with Marie getting her acoustic guitar. “This is gonna be great! That girl heard us!”

“Yeah, but she can’t see us.” Raven crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at them.

“Yeah...but it’s a start. We just need (Y/n) to agree to join the band and we sign up with her for that talent show. She can maybe play it off like she recorded all the instruments while we actually play.”

Raven only shook her head. “That sounds ridiculous...but I guess anything is possible now.”

Anne looked up at Raven a little concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah...kinda. I’m just feeling overwhelmed...I think I’m gonna go for a walk or something..”

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” Marie asked while putting down the guitar.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just be a while. I’ll be back later.” Raven disappeared, leaving a red mist behind.

Walking with her hands loosely behind her back, Raven looked around the huge park, seeing children playing, running around, and giggling while their parents watched over them.

Everything seemed normal for a moment, she felt like things were okay...till someone phased right through her and she felt like reality punched her in the face again. Raven was a little dizzy, not used to people just going right through her.

Before she knew what was happening, she was on the ground with slight pain on her forehead. “Hey watch where the fuck-” Raven blinked, trying to understand what happened.

The other woman who bumped into her frantically stood up, lending Raven a hand. “I am so so sorry! I thought I’d phase right through you. I thought you were alive!”

Raven took her hand, letting the other ghost help her up. “You crashed into me...wait you thought I was alive? Does that mean you’re...dead, too?”

The woman gave her a nod, still holding her hand. “Yeah. been dead for a while. I’m Lexi, by the way.” Looking down, still seeing their hands touching, Lexi quickly took hers back, feeling a little embarrassed. “I- I’m sorry again, uh but can I ask you something?”

“I’m Raven, and uh sure I guess…”

“Are you new to the whole dead thing?” Lexi adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

“What gave it away?” Raven playfully rolled her eyes at the question, giving Lexi a smile to reassure her she wasn’t being mean.

“Everything, honestly.” Lexi smiled back. “You look like something’s troubling you. Wanna talk about it?”

“Are you sure you have time to listen to me?”

“Pretty sure I have some time before I meet up with a friend.” Lexi led the way to the other side of the park where no one was occupying any of the benches.

After a while of listening to Raven, Lexi nodded and looked over at her. “So now you guys don’t know where your other sister is, and this girl. (Y/n)?”

“Yeah.”

“She can see you guys. And she’s living in your old house, and you’re sure she’s alive?”

“Also her old house, and yes, we’re sure.” Raven got quiet for a second.

“Have you tried finding what your unfinished business is?”

“My what?”

“Your unfinished business, like what you wanted to do before you died but never got the chance to.”

Raven thought for a second but shook her head. “I can’t think of anything at the moment. It’s all too much. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’re new, so it’s not gonna come right away. Some of us never really find it.”

“What about you? How’d you die?” Raven looked at Lexi before immediately covering her mouth with her hand. “I- I mean you don’t have to tell me, it’s fine. I’m sorry if that’s too personal for you.”

Lexi giggled and shook her head. “No, it’s fine. You told me your story. It’s only fair that I share mine. I died with my best friend. Her name’s Kimberly and we were inseparable in life, so it made sense even after death we’d still be with each other. We’d joke about that kinda thing, so when it happened we freaked out. We were walking home from getting dinner one night since the place was just a block away from our apartment. We didn’t see it coming at all. Someone was being robbed and we got caught in the crossfire. We got shot cause the person who was running away wasn’t looking where they were shooting.”

Raven took Lexi’s hand in hers, squeezing it. “I’m so sorry, oh my god, that’s horrible.”

Lexi smiled softly. “It’s alright. What’s done is done, right?”

“Lexi!!! Dude we’re gonna be late!” Someone shouted from across the field, waving and trying to get Lexi’s attention.

“Is that your friend?” Raven let go of her hand, feeling a little disappointed.

“Ah yeah, that’s her. I gotta go, but I’ll see you around, Raven.” Lexi stood up, stretching her arms a bit.

“Uh, w-would it be alright if we meet up tomorrow?” Raven quickly stood up, looking down at Lexi, hoping she’d say yes.

“Tomorrow? I should be able to meet up for sure. When and where?”

“Tomorrow morning, here? If that’s okay.”

“That’s completely fine. See ya then!” Lexi disappeared for a second. When Raven looked up, she saw her across the field.

“Who was that?” Kimberly grins over at Lexi, curious to know of a possible new friend.

“Newly dead, her name’s Raven..”

“Pretty name. Just her?”

Lexi shakes her head. “She has two sisters, she was just feeling lost.”

“I remember that feeling…”

“Yeah...So it’s almost showtime for you isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but you know I get worried…”

“I’m not passing through or whatever. Besides, why would I ever miss a friend's show? You know I can’t.” Lexi smiled as they both disappeared.

Standing in front of the red velvet rope, they showed the guard their IDs. Being let in, they walked through the huge lobby, making their way to the staircase leading downstairs.

“There she is!”

“Here I am! What’s up Bones?” Kimberly gave him her best puppy eyes she could.

“Nope, not gonna work this time. We have ten minutes till curtains up and you were almost a no show.”

“Chill, I was out for a walk. I needed to clear my head a bit. I’m sorry.”

“Change, please.” Bones pointed to the costume on the rack.

With a snap of her fingers, she changed into the costume her boss designed. “Done.”

“There you two are! Has the boss seen you yet?” Natpai almost rushed into the group.

“Not yet. Is he mad?” Lexi asked, but a shiver ran down her spine when she felt someone standing behind her. Turning around, she saw the owner of the club.

“Mad? No. Irritated? Definitely…”

“Phantom! I- I mean sir it was my fault. I went out for a walk, and we lost track of time! It won’t happen again.”

Phantom’s eyes glow a bright red for a moment before calming down. “Of course it won’t. You wanna know why?”

They all stayed silent, not daring to say a word.

“I OWN YOU. I GAVE YOU THIS FREEDOM AND I CAN TAKE IT AWAY!”

“Y-yes, sir…”

Adjusting his tie, Phantom’s demeanor became softer. “Now, Mare’s waiting for you three on stage. Bones, Natpai, you two go on ahead.”

The two brothers nodded and gathered their things, rushing off to their places.

Phantom smiled down at the two women in front of him. “My girls,” Placing his hands on their cheeks, he gently stroked his thumb against them. “What were you two up to? You know I keep tabs on you both.” Taking his hands back he looks between the women staring at him. “I know you met someone new. Care to share anything about that?”

“Uh, um, I- I bumped into her. She’s newly dead…” Lexi looked down at her shoes, feeling intimidated.

“Go on, sweetheart, what else?”

“She also has sisters with her....that’s all I know, sir. We only talked for a few minutes.”

“Interesting. Well, they're newly dead and they seem like ordinary ghosts. I see no reason to invite them here, yet.”

Both Kimberly and Lexi looked up at Phantom. “Invite them?”

“To see a show, of course! Isn’t that what we do here?! We put on shows not just for the living but the dead must also have a place to come and relax.” Phantom looked at his watch. “And look at that, you’re up. You, get to the stage. The band needs a singer, don't they?”

“Yes, sir!”

“And you, they need their stage manager backstage, don’t they? Get to it!”

“Yes, sir!” Both women go their separate ways, leaving Phantom to walk over to the balcony overlooking the entertainment room. The orb on his cane glowed a dim red.

“We’ll keep an eye on those new ghosts. They might be of use…”

Back at the house, Raven popped back in to see Anne looking through their things and Marie sitting on the floor hunched over her notebook, looking frustrated. “What’s up with you?”

“Remember the song we were working on? I’ve been trying to finish it, but I can’t figure out the chorus.” Marie frowned, not liking what she wrote.

Raven sat next to her and took the notebook, reading over the lyrics. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling.”

“That’s where I just blank out…”

Raven looked over at Anne. “Have you tried to help?”

“Yup, I couldn’t think of anything either, so I decided to see what else of ours is in this bag.” Pulling out a red cap, Anne tried it on.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Raven pouted, standing up and dropping the notebook back on the ground next to Marie.

“Guys, don’t make a mess here, we share the space, remember!” Marie raised her voice a little, feeling annoyed.

“Hey…are you guys still here?” You poked your head in to see an annoyed-looking Marie while Raven and Anne had a tug of war with a red cap. “I see I’m interrupting something.”

Anne let go of the cap and smiled, making Raven stumble. “You’re not!”

Raven glared at Anne, dusting off the cap so she could put it on.

“I’m glad I’m not.” Stepping inside, you closed the door and took a seat on the couch, feeling grateful for not being on your feet for once today.

“Is something wrong?” Anne looked at you concerned.

“Hm? Oh! No, nothing's wrong, just tired from classes and unpacking so much today.”

“That’s understandable. I’m sorry you have a lot on your plate at the moment.” Anne resisted the urge to give your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“It’s fine. Um, but I do have one thing I wanna get off my to-do list.”

“What is it?” Raven asked as she took a seat in one of the empty chairs.

“I thought about your offer. About joining the band.” All three girls instantly looked at you, hope shining in their eyes. “It took me all day to think about not just joining, but also about signing up for the talent show. It’s a huge thing the college does 'cause it’s not just a talent show. They call it that to make it simpler, but it’s just multiple shows to see who record labels are looking for.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun, honestly.” Marie smiled, sitting up and leaning back against the coffee table.

“It is! Um, but it’s also a lot of work too. Despite that, I think I’m ready to get back into music and sign up for this thing with you guys as a band!”

“Really?!” They immediately said it at the same time, making you giggle and nod.

“Yeah! I think it’ll be a good new path for the future. Ya know, kinda like reshaping the past in a way for myself.”

Marie grinned and quickly grabbed her notebook. “(Y/n), You’re a genius!!!”

“Huh?“ Looking at the other two confused, Raven smiled softly.

“You just helped Marie finish the chorus of a song we were working on.”

“Oh! Can I see it? If that’s okay.”

“Of course!” Marie happily handed you the notebook, excited to hear what you thought of it.

Taking your time to read through it, you nodded your head while tapping your foot against the floor. “Well, we have the lyrics. I think I have an Idea for music.”

Raven went silent for a moment before she spoke up. “I met someone today while I was on my walk.”

The three of you looked at her curiously. “Who’d you meet?”

“I, uh, met this girl. Her name’s Lexi. She’s also dead like us. She’s really nice, and she helped me out with some things I had difficulty understanding about us being ghosts now.”

“You should invite her to the show!” Anne got excited, bouncing in her chair.

“She’d be the only one to actually see us on stage with (Y/n). I don’t think it would be a problem.” Marie smiled at Raven, playfully poking her cheek. ”You should definitely invite her.”

“Well not just her. Would you be fine if her friend tags along, too?”

Anne giggled, feeling her excitement bubble even more. “Oooo! Another ghost! We can make two new friends now!”

“I think that’d be sweet if you invited them.” You smiled at Raven while handing Marie her notebook back. “I also think I’m going to bed. I’ll see you three bright and early to start working on this song!” Stretching as you stood up, you waved goodbye to them when you started to leave the studio. “Night everyone!”

During the week, you spent most of your free time with the girls working on the song. You taught Anne how to use the soundboard when she played the keyboard. It took the first two days to agree on the drum sounds you’d use, but it worked out in the end. You, Marie, and Raven figured out who would sing what parts of the songs, both girls agreed you’d take the lead for the majority of it while they took backup instead.

The morning of the performance, the four of you looked through your wardrobe to see what you could wear. You settled on an old band shirt, ripped jeans, and a black jean jacket. It was casual, but still fit the mood of the song. The big factor was that you felt comfortable in it and could move around.

“So this is the place?” Lexi looked around the outdoor theatre area, amazed that it was as huge as it was.

“Looks like it...oh! Is that the girl that can see them?” Kimberly looked in your direction, but you didn’t notice since you were setting up the keyboard and soundboard almost off stage.

“Yeah, that’s her.” Lexi smiled when she spotted Raven helping you.

“Why don’t you ask her out?” Kimberly tilted her head, asking genuinely.

“I- it’s not like that, dude. We’re just friends...”

“Right, just friends. That can change, you know.”

“Shut up. You’re a dork.” Lexi’s cheeks started to turn light pink, feeling a little embarrassed.

“I’m your dork and you’re stuck with me!” Kimberly laughed when she saw Lexi pout.

“Alright, alright. Settle down, everyone. I believe our next act is ready to begin.” The host of the show looked over at you.

Nervously, you whispered to Marie. “I don’t think I can go through with this after all…”

“You got this, (Y/n), we wouldn't have asked you to do this if we didn't think you were perfect for the part. We’ll be here, just look over at us when you need support, alright? You’re not alone in this.” Marie gave an encouraging smile before you were led out to the stage.

Adjusting the mic to be a bit lower, you looked out into the audience and felt your nerves almost wash away when you saw your friend Erica in the front row, smiling and giving you a thumbs up. “Um, hey, everyone. I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves so far. The song I’ll be performing is called Take Your Jacket. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy it.”

Pressing the button on the soundboard, the music went out through the speakers. Taking a deep breath in, you picked up the mic and started the song.

“You want your song? Well, here's an anthem. You broke my heart and held all of my past to ransom. Well, get a grip. You're not that special. Trying to slip around the demons that you wrestle. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest. Don't get me wrong, but sometimes the smart ain't strong.”

You were about to look over at the girls, but before you or anyone could prepare themselves, they suddenly appeared on stage, playing their instruments and joining you on the chorus. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. Break the mold, reshape the past.”

Taking the lead again, you danced over to Marie, singing the next part to her. “Came from beneath and knocked me over. Rotting my teeth, you're sickly sweet like cherry cola.” Continuing to sing, you turned your attention back to the crowd. “No, not this time, no, you won't fool me. Your childish tricks are in the past, I can guarantee. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying my hardest, Don't get me wrong, But being the smartest ain't too clever.”

Raven and Marie joined in on the chorus, jumping and dancing in place. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. Break the mold, reshape the past.”

You started to dance around on stage with the girls as they played their instrumental parts. It’s then that you all realized the crowd was cheering at all of you. The girls' smiles widened, looking at you and realizing the audience could see them!

Smiling and feeling excited, you took center stage, ready to finish the song on a great note. “Take your jacket out my car, out my car. So I can forget who you are, who you are. Fall forward, fading through catastrophe-feeling. Like the storm will never pass. The hole you left is sore at best. We know this wouldn't last, reshape the past.”

Hearing the crowd cheer for you all was a feeling you never thought you’d hear again. Looking around at the girls, they smiled at you before they disappeared, leaving a white mist behind. The audience's cheers slowly faded, wondering what happened to the band.

Quickly thinking, you started to explain what just happened. “Uh thank you all for enjoying our performance! We’re The Hex Girls! Hologram band all ran by me, (Y/n) (L/n).” Taking a bow, you left the mic on the stand and ran off stage where Erica was waiting.

“A hologram band?! Seriously?” She crossed her arms over her chest

“What?” You look at her genuinely confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? (Y/n)? I thought we said no more secrets after what happened with your dad…”

“I….I know I’m sorry but this was super last minute. Please You have to understand-”

“Yeah, understand that my best friend since Elementary School decides to keep it a secret that she joins and makes a band, let alone signs up for this show without telling me either when I was the one encouraging you to do it in the first place?!”

“I’m sorry, seriously! I just wanted it to be a surprise…”

“Sure is a surprise...that you don’t trust me to help with this. You know I don’t like when you put everything on yourself.” Erica sighed and shook her head. “I’m gonna head home.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You asked her, but it felt more like pleading.

“Probably not…” Erica turned to leave, leaving you alone by the door backstage.

“That was amazing! They saw us!” Marie shouted in excitement when she caught up with her sisters and two new friends. “So, which one of you is Lexi?”

“That’s me..” Lexi shyly smiled.

Marie hugged her tightly before letting go. “Thanks for helping out my sister the past week. She talks about you a lot, by the way.”

Raven punched Marie’s arm, slightly embarrassed. “Do not, stop lying.”

Anne giggled and mouthed out, “She does” to Lexi, making her blush even more.

Marie pouted at Raven while rubbing her arm, “Geez, you didn’t have to hit that hard.” Looking over at the other two giggling, she smiled. “And how about you?”

“Me? Oh! I’m Kimberly, it's nice to meet you.” Reaching out her hand, Marie took it in hers and shook her hand before taking it back.

Anne pouted, feeling a bit left out. “Why am I the one left out without a cute girl to talk to?”

Both Lexi and Kimberly blushed while Raven and Marie laughed.

“You’re not being left out, dummy, you’re a part of the group. Stop being a pouty baby, sunshine.” Marie hugged Anne from behind, making her giggle.

From afar, Phantom saw all of them interacting before putting his sunglasses on and making his way back to his car. The soul collector had an idea brewing in his head after seeing that very interesting performance.

Tag List:

@lady-bee-fechin

@forbiddenstars

@wildspeciallavender

@fluffy-demon-wolf

@huffle-princess

#Band AU #jatp AU #Marie Holloway #Anne Holloway #Raven Holloway #Natalie Holloway #battle egos #battle girls #battle ego #battle boys #battle boy #phantom #natmare #natpai #bones #battle babes #Holloway Sisters

12 notes · View notes

softboywriting · 6 years ago

Text

P.S. I Like You | Shawn Mendes

Summary: Shawn is your neighbor, and mutual acquaintance through your roommate. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while and one day you accidentally get his mail. It might just be the push you need to finally make a move.

Word Count: 2.7k

|Masterlist In Bio|

If someone were to ask you what your favorite Shawn Mendes song is, you would say Found You. It's not one anyone knows. Hell. You're not sure that's even the real name of the song, but it's what you call it. You hear it every few days, sometimes louder, sometimes softer but it's always that song. Sometimes he plays piano with it, sometimes guitar. It's sweet and what you've made out from the lyrics, it's about finding someone and they have no idea they're the one he thinks about all the time. You never made out all the lyrics because it's always a little muffled. But that's because you live next door and Shawn has no idea how loud he is, and you're not going to tell him.

About a year ago you moved into your best friend's apartment with her. Callie was gone a lot for work, being a journalist took her on lengthy trips to various countries, and she wanted someone to stay at her place and care for her cat Buggy. You needed a place and she charged you a small rental fee in exchange for living quarters, care of her cat and keeping the place clean. You had no idea when you moved in that Shawn was your neighbor.

It was weeks before Shawn was home after you initially moved in. You had woken up from a nap one day and heard music. It wasn't bad and it wasn't bothering you so you didn't want to trouble the neighbor by telling them to shut it down. But then it went on. Day after day, song after song. It was in that time that you realized who your neighbor was.

The first time you met Shawn he was coming out of his apartment, guitar in tow as he headed off to wherever. You were on your way to work and had run into him because Buggy ran out the door and you were frantically chasing after him. You smacked into him, toppling over him and his guitar while Buggy made for the elevator.

Half an hour later and you wrangled Buggy with Shawn's help. He was sneezing like crazy and you felt so guilty but he waved it off. As it would happen to be, Callie ended up actually knowing Shawn quite well, having worked with him a few times in the past. She had gotten her apartment because he recommended the building, it was a coincidence she ended up as his neighbor. So for the weeks that Callie was home, you got to go to parties and things where Shawn would be at as well. You sort of became a mutual acquaintances, the two of you always somehow finding each other at parties and bars that you went to with Callie.

You and Shawn always chatted during these encounters, and in the elevator when you came across each other, and sometimes just in the hall, but you never talked too long, and you were always way too blushy. You didn't have the balls to take the conversation farther, to ask him out or anything. You would like to. But you're a chicken shit and he's a multi platinum recording artist who could have anyone he wanted. Though you would never have known by his personality, and honestly you didn’t even care that much that he was famous. He was just as blushy and awkward as you were, and in fact he didn't seem to have much flirting game. He was the most normal guy you know.

Things didn't kick off until one evening you go and grab your mail and head upstairs, tired from working all day and ready to just relax. You're sorting through it, setting Callie's aside, and that's when you see it. An envelope from a clinic not too far from the apartment building, and it's addressed to Shawn Mendes. You sigh, knowing this day would come. You are going to have to take it over there and give it to him. This was going to be your moment, you were going to flirt with him. Yes. Today was the day.

Two knocks and a pause later and your heart is beating out of your chest as you wait for Shawn to answer. The lock clicks and you try your best not to flush as the door opens and you remember you're in your pajamas for the evening.

“Hey,” Shawn grins. “What's up?”

“I got some of your mail.” You hold up the envelope. “I figured since you're home I could just bring it over.”

“How'd you know I was home?”

“Ah,” your cheeks get hot. “I could...hear you?”

“Hear me?” Shawn turns scarlet from his cheeks to his ears. “I’m not sure what you mean by that. Like everything or...”

“No! Ohmygod no just when you sing. Sometimes I can hear you practicing and I heard you earlier.”

“Oh! I'm sorry. I thought this place was soundproof. I'm so sorry. I'm really annoying probably.” Shawn runs a hand through his hair and looks away, embarrassed. “I can stop being so loud.”

“Please don't? I actually like hearing you. Your voice is amazing and I really like all of the songs you sing. Ohmygod I can't stop talking. Here.” You shove the mail at him. “I should go.”

“Actually, funny story,” he chuckles, taking the mail and tossing it behind him onto a counter. “I have some of your mail in my box too. I was just going to put a note for the postman to change boxes but since you're here...”

“Should I follow you downstairs then?”

“Yeah, let me grab my box key hold on.” The door closes and you're left standing there, freaking out because what if he got the package you were expecting? You really hope not because that was a very private package. Very. Private.

You and Shawn head down to the mailroom and he opens his box and pulls out a stack of envelopes and a small rectangular box in a gray shipping bag. Your heart stops. That was definitely your package.

“I got this yesterday but I forgot to leave the note for the postman.” He hands you the package and you smile nervously. “You okay?”

“Yeah? I've been expecting this is all.” You try to relax and tell yourself it's no big deal. He has no idea that you have a vibrator in that package. If you don't stop being weird he will ask questions. Then you'll have to lie horribly and you just don't have the time for that.

“Ah I understand. Well, uh, now we've squared that away. What're you doing tonight?”

“What?”

Shawn crosses his arms and leans against the mailbox wall. It's a sad attempt to be cool and you can't help the giggle snort that comes out of you in response. “I was wondering what you're doing tonight?” he asks again.

“Nothing. Just uh...waiting for this.” You hold up the package.

“Do you wanna go do something or get a drink or something like that maybe?”

“Sure? I just need to change.” You look down at your sleep pants and tee.

Shawn pushes off the mailbox and he looks so satisfied with himself. “Of course no problem. Do you wanna meet up in the hall?”

“Yeah sure.”

The two of you go back upstairs, making plans to go to the bar down the street on the way up. You turn the knob of your door, package under your arm, and it doesn't click. You jiggle it. No luck. It's locked. You locked yourself out.

You drop your head against the door and you could just scream. You finally have the nerve to really talk to Shawn, to actually get drinks with him like a sort of date, and you have locked yourself out of your apartment. Not just that, but your roommate is halfway across the globe and can't exactly give you her key, and on top of that, you're holding a package with a vibrator in it.

You shuffle over to Shawn's door and knock. He opens fairly quickly, giving you a confused once over. “I locked myself out.”

“Oh. Shit. Well do you have a spare key with a friend? Or parent?”

“No, Callie has the other key. Can I use your phone to call the building owner?”

Shawn laughs and opens the door for you to come in. “Yeah, come in. I'll get it off the charger.” He disappears around the corner and you walk inside, his kitchen is right by the entry, counter stacked with mail. His apartment was very different than yours. A totally different lay out actually. You set your package on the counter by his other mail and look around the kitchen. Very modern. You would have taken Shawn for more cozy home type of guy. You look into the living room and it has a far more Shawn vibe. A little messy, big sofa, piano along the wall and a guitar leaned against the coffee table. Yeah. That was the cozy vibe you got from him.

“I pulled up the number for you.” Shawn hands over his phone as he walks out of a doorway to your right.

The phone rings and rings and you're not sure if anyone is going to answer. Finally the owner picks up. “This is Marty.” You give him your name and apartment number, explaining you've locked yourself out. He's quiet for a few seconds and then says, “Yeah I'm out of town until tomorrow morning. You got a friend you can stay with?”

“I really don't. There isn't anyway a janitor can get me a key?”

“No, I'm sorry. Can you book a hotel room? I'll pay for it if you give me the bill later.”

“Unfortunately I locked everything in the apartment. I don't even have my phone, I'm using another resident's phone to call right now.”

“You can hang out here,” Shawn says with a shrug.

“I- Marty? I'm going to stay at the neighbors, he said I can stay until you come with the key.”

“Alright. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience. I left town last minute for a family emergency and I didn't leave the master keys with the janitor. Thanks for understanding. I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Okay. Thanks, bye.” You hand the phone over to Shawn and he pockets it. “Thanks.”

“No problem. We can hang out here if you don't want to go out in your pajamas.” Shawn turns and opens the fridge. “I don't have much to eat. I can always order in though. Did he say when he would get here?”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“Oh. Fuck, well I can get you a hotel room if you like. I don't mind. But you can still stay here, I can set the couch up if you want to sleep there. I just don't want it to be awkward or something.”

“No, I don't really care for hotels. I'll sleep on your couch if that's okay with you. I don't think it's too awkward, we're not total strangers.”

“Yeah, right.” He chuckles. “And that's totally fine, I'll grab some bedding for you and we can watch some movies or something?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

___________________

Three hours later and you find yourself curled against Shawn's side under a fluffy white blanket that he brought from his bedroom. The two of you decided to have a few drinks during the first movie while chatting about everything from music to family. It's the most you've ever spoken to him and you regret not having had the gall to do it sooner. He is amazing, so likeable and you have so much in common. Your little crush was definitely turning into a big one.

After the first movie you end up watching some made for Netflix horror flick and you're such a wuss that you scream at every jump scare, that and you're a little tipsy. You can't help it and Shawn doesn't seem to mind. In fact he just chuckles and let's you get closer. Eventually his arm is around you and the movie is ending. He doesn't move his arm as he picks the next movie, one you suggested, a romantic comedy called Leap Year.

You end up falling asleep half way through, tucked into his side. Alcohol always made you sleepy. He doesn't bother you, doesn't make you get up or anything. Eventually you feel him shift around, and you fall against the couch, head on the cushion. You think he is probably going to bed or something.

Suddenly the couch dips and his warm body aligns with your back, arm resting across your middle squishing you against the back of the the couch. You press back against him, craving the warmth, too tired worry about the intimacy of the situation. Clearly Shawn didn't care either, didn't mind the closeness.

Morning comes too quickly. Your head is pounding when you wake up to the bright sun peeking over the horizon through Shawn's big picture windows. He is still pressed again you, soft snores filling the otherwise silent room. It's strange, how comfortable it feels to be sleeping with him like this, so in tune with each other, a deep feeling of trust and safety.

You slide out of his hold, carefully crawl over his body and head to the bathroom. You take a look at yourself in the vanity and you look like hell. Hair a mess, couch wrinkle lines on your face. You can't wait to get home and shower and change clothes.

As if on cue, you hear Shawn's phone ringing in the bedroom. You wash up and go check it out, sure enough the screen has Marty's number on it. He must be at your door. You go out of the bedroom and head for the front door, glancing at Shawn who has rolled onto his stomach in the spot where you had been laying.

You open Shawn's door to find Marty standing in front of yours with his phone to his ear. He hangs up when he sees you and let's you in, apologizing again for not being able to let you in last night. Honestly you want to thank him, because if he had, you never would have spent a whole night watching movies and talking and drinking with Shawn. It was sort of the nudge you needed.

The first thing you do is take a shower and get yourself cleaned up. You feed Buggy afterwards since he starts hollering for his breakfast, he was such a baby sometimes if you were a little late to feed him. It's when you're finishing getting dressed that you hear a knock at the door and you know it's Shawn.

“Yes?” You ask as you open the door to find a sleepy disheveled Shawn before you. He is holding your package up for you.

“You left.” He says sleepily. It was as if he had just woken up and couldn't find you. “And you forgot your...thing.”

You take the package and toss it behind you on the couch. You know he knows what it is, sort of. You maybe let it slip last night during the first movie after your second drink when you said you dodged that bullet, in reference to the character in the movie having to get an embarrassing package from their neighbor. “Thanks for bringing that over...”

He yawns and nods as he rubs his neck. “Can we...I mean, can I make you breakfast?”

You smile, biting your lip. He was already offering you breakfast? He had to have just as big of crush on you as you did on him. “Breakfast huh?”

“Yeah? Is that too much? I just...I really like you.”

“No, I’d love it.” Shawn's face lights up. “Let me finish up and I'll be right over.” The door starts to close and you open it real quick, Shawn turning to look at you. “Wait, I really like you too by the way. Just so you know.”

He just grins sleepily and says, “Yeah I know.” And that's how you ended up with Shawn after a year of skirting around what could have been.

1K notes · View notes

justherefortaylorswift · 7 years ago

Text

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!). It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED).

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.] We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight.

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans. It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity. It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you.

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]: 1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

4 notes · View notes

sockjinnnn-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Duende [part 1]

(n.) the mysterious power of art to deeply move a person

Prologue | Part 1 |

(KTH/READER) (ft. a bits of jungkook)

(Angst/fluff)

synopsis: There’s no point in wanting more when more means worse. So instead of that, let’s stop wistful thinking and want a difference. Want a difference and make a difference. For that, I chose music as my outlet. (I can’t write summaries, the story itself is better than this I promise.)

Includes fake text and writings in between so make sure to not miss any.

Lyra, My assistant? My best friend? Right, I guess we're a team, I do my singing/playing music part and she helps me to earn some popularity with people who are willing to listen.

I dropped my phone on my bed and fell back on it myself. Really, I'm so proud right now. At the age of 13, I remember then, staring at the guitar in the corner of the room and being absolutely terrified to sing. My flute laid in front of me, wrists aching from playing the piano for too long and wearing jeans because of how impractical it would be to wear a dress or a skirt and to play the cello with it. The age of 13, that was when I realised my happiness had left. But it was before that, at the age of 10 when it started to all be drained from me. Your mom and dad, they mess you up y'know? They may not mean to but they really truly do. I let out a weak, breathy laugh as my back straightened up and I ended up being in a sitting position.

"Thanks,"

I whispered, letting those words float up into the sky and disappear. "Thanks, mom and dad for giving me the fucking monster of depression and social anxiety. Thank you for making me believe I will never be good enough. Thanks a lot for making me feel like I can’t even be happy again and thank you for making me feel like I can’t let myself be even slightly vulnerable in front of anyone."

///

The venue was much more impressive than I had expected. It smelled of cotton candy, grilled hot dogs and all around festival food and diabetes. The air fresh, peculiarly fresh and was filled with a gentle breeze that seemed to follow along side me and take me dancing with it. The crowds as well, much bigger than I thought. It was also surprisingly easy getting through the crows, what with no need for a disguise because quite frankly, I’m really not that well known. Maybe one day, maybe there will be one fateful day where I will earn some fame any maybe be able to spread my mouth into a genuine and blinding smile. But I guess I will just have to get by without all that for now.

“Y/n, Y/n! Thank god you’re here.”

I looked up to see Lyra frantically waving her arm on top of the steps leading to the back of the stage, now quickly stumbling down them.

“Y/n, god, are you nervous, I’m nervous, I’m-god-, have you heard the people here? Of course you haven’t- you just came...But they’re amazing, honestly and-god-um-good luck.” She fumbled with her words, looking more nervous than I have ever been in my life......That’s a lie. Nothing can compare to the panic attacks I have had before but-

“Lyra?” “Yeah?”

“I’ll be fine, trust me.” You gripped your hands around her shoulders.

“Okay.” Lyra looked at me, gave a half-assed smile and nodded quickly, sticking her tongue around the inside of her mouth, a habit I’ve noticed she does when she’s nervous. “The band here have got all the music that you’re singing, you can practice the cues later when that guy on the stage is done. You’re on around the middle of the show, after a band called Avocado Regulation. Text me if you need anything, okay? I need to start going now.”

Unlike me, Lyra always had a plan that she stuck too, didn’t dream too big and settled now for a part-time job at the local Waterstone.

“Yeah, see you after?” I grinned, letting go of her and stood in one spot as she ran out of the place.

I turned back so I’m now walking back into the area where the rest of the people performing tonight were sitting. It should be my turn to practice pretty soon...Thinking this, I placed myself down on one of the chairs in the corner of the room, right beside the water fountain. On the water fountain was the schedule/program for the night and just like Lyra had informed you-you're on right after Avocado Regulation and right before a singer named V, about halfway through the show, number 7.

What happened at the age of seven? That was the year before I turned eight. The year before I realised how crap existence can be and how much I craved to actually live. It was the year before, I think, that I first came to accept the fact that my parents can make mistakes and I don’t have to forgive them for it because they indeed messed me the hell up. But I was so happy then, so childish, full of joy as I made trips to Disney land and pretended that I was a princess who owned the world. I use to be popular too, a laughable thought, just like one that came straight out of a fairytale book. Perhaps one of the many fairy tales that I use to read every night. Every night with a nightlight shining on its own. I was hopeful then-

“Number 6, if you could make your way to the stage please,” A voice boomed and a group of people sitting a few spaces from you stood up. The smile on their faces were unmistakable, unmistakably genuine. They probably worked their butts off to get to this place, poured every piece of their soul into the music they create. I wasn’t sure if the name Avocado Regulation was laughable or commendable but whatever it was meant to be, the group seemed like a team. A great team at that, that seemed, even at a glance, to have a bound as strong as a family.

As you were staring, analysing and for a lack of a better word - judging them, they had left the room and started practising for the performance.

I quietly let out a breath and reached for my phone. There are 3 people in this room, me, a man and a woman. The man with blue, tousled hair and ripped black jeans that he wore with a polka-dotted button up. The woman with blonde, wavy hair that somehow resembled silk, wearing a mint green sundress. They could be before or after me in the program. But the possibility of them being after me is probably higher, considering the fact that there’s a perfectly good festival vibe thing going on around the stage and who would stay in this inclosed space after they’ve done everything they needed to do?

Seconds later, another man walked in. Brown hair, cut neatly with bangs that might have blocked his vision slightly. A beige trench coat, a striped button up and some basic blue jeans.

He immediately made his way to the water fountain, picked up a cup and filled it up. During this process, I kept my eyes glued to my phone, holding it with my fingers and using my thumb to nonchalantly scroll through Instagram. That indirectly forced me to stare at photos I would otherwise not spare a glance at, of models, of those perfect, skinny girls who are at the top of the social hierarchy. Loved by all, hated by all. All, for the same reason. Because they are only a few of the 7 billion of us and the lifestyle they live is simply un-releastic and will lead them inevitably to becoming depressed with all the pressure being pushed upon them-

“You alright?”

I looked away from my phone for a second, tilting my head up to see the man who had just walked in giving you a small grin.

“Yeah...” I spoke, making my voice as quiet as possible. It’s not as if the others in the room will despise me if I made too much noise but again that something about not liking vulnerability made me reserved.

He gave a sigh, gently shook the bangs out of his face and looked down at me again. “Sorry, you were just staring at that picture for a solid 2 minutes there, you thumb was pressing into the screen like mad too.”

“Oh, um, thanks I guess.” What was I meant to say in this situation?!

“Are you nervous?” He asked. Looked around. And seeing that there was a spare seat that would allow him to directly face me while sipping from the cup he just filled up...he sat down. “Is this your first stage performance or something.”

Did I look nervous? “Yeah, something like that. My friend booked me into this festival and we’re currently finishing my first album so...” I droned off. 22 years and not one of them have I ever been confident in making small talk or just any conversation in general.

“That’s great! I haven’t been in this industry long either, got an album though so...” “That’s cool, um” Told you, how did I manage to ruin making small talk with someone? “um sorry, what’s your name? I just didn’t want to seem rude, I-”

“Oh, I’m V.” He said, looking slightly embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck while nodding slowly. “I mean that’s my stage name, my actual name is Taehyung- Kim Taehyung.”

“And I’m y/n Choi; right before you in the program.”

“Oh yeah, the program. I just arrived and barely had a chance to check anything yet, do you mind telling me what number I am?”

“You’re eight.”

A small 2 seconds of silence.

“Thanks.” He Taehyung said with the same grin he had when he first spoke to you.

And just like that, the small talk was over and the both of you returned to doing what you were doing before. Just, instead of staring at the photos of pretty girls I resourced to keeping my mind on not making my face seem like I’m too nervous or anything. Sometimes social anxiety really gets on my nerves.

1 note · View note

s-o-n-de-r · 8 years ago

Text

Against the Current’s ‘In Our Bones’ turns one year old

Against the Current’s In Our Bones turns one year old today, and due to how often it’s been on rotation around sonder HQ, we figured it was a good chance to take a look back at the album and its individual songs.

In Our Bones is notable for a few different reasons: It’s the band’s first full-length and the first album released under Fueled By Ramen. And for the band itself? One year ago, Against the Current was on the cusp of their first Vans Warped Tour, after which they would transition into a world tour for the new album, a setting where they would get to explore most of the album live as the headliner. “First album” and “world headlining tour” are not typically two phrases you see together, but Against the Current already did it when they had just two EPs out, so it seems they’ve got it down.

We never gave In Our Bones a proper review, but it’s a polished, diverse pop-rock album that navigates itself through different territories but still feels cohesive. Now, one year later, let’s look at the identity of each song and how they’ve fit into the band’s discography and history.

1) RUNNING WITH THE WILD THINGS

It would be a surprise if the band didn’t pick this song as the album lead without being aware of how its message broadcasts the identity of the band. “Running With The Wild Things” is the closest thing the band has come to punk rock. Not to say it’s full of sludgy guitars and dirty bass, but it’s frantic with a fast pace. And it’s a song about fighting systematic norms and breaking out of “the machine,” legacy punk ideals. It all comes together toward the end of the song when Will Ferri is just smashing on his drums while Chrissy Costanza belts “we got too big for the cage you locked us up in,” backed by gang vocals. Even more, if you go watch certain live renditions of this song, Costanza plays with her vocal delivery to make it even rawer. It is both unexpected and tantalizing for Costanza to break so heavily into the motifs found in this song, and if the entire album had this song’s style, you might have found it filed under new-wave punk rock instead of pop-rock. But part of the draw of In Our Bones is its different overtones, which is why the next song hits the ears in a completely different way.

2) FORGET ME NOW

“Forget Me Now” goes 110 percent on a big, aspiring pop sound. This tune is catchy from the very start, from the guitar lead to the beat of Costanza’s vocals to the way the chorus goes up and down. It’s hard not to tap along to this one. It’s one of the more straightforward songs on the album and is a good pick to ease a new listener into the band. Lyrically, it’s unapologetic and proud, a confident “look at me now” song.

3) CHASING GHOSTS

This is one of the low-key songs on the album, marked by moody guitars and a dark sense of atmosphere. It’s a 180 from the songs before and after it. Costanza forms an almost film noir picture with her words, a darkly dreamy piece that calls upon shipwrecks and ghosts and blue TV light.

4) ONE MORE WEEKEND

Don’t let the pep of “One More Weekend” make you gloss over the fact that it deals with something we all struggle with at one point: loss of youth. This song exhales nostalgia, makes you yearn for those long-passed memories with old friends doing the things you did as kids. This is also prime time for Ferri – all the way back to the Infinity EP days, Ferri has shown he knows how to let songs breathe by giving some pause in his beats, which makes this one’s chorus soar.

5) IN OUR BONES

The title track is in the running for one of the best songs the trio has written, and it’s completely different than anything else they’ve put out. “In Our Bones” is a rollicking little acoustic song that glides by and is infectiously charismatic – Costanza makes this song colorful and bright (singing about neon, wildfire, fields of gold, etc.), and it’s easy to see where the artwork for the album came from. Everything about this song, from Costanza’s fluttering voice in the chorus to the overall coffee shop song vibes, make it a pleasant song to just sit and listen to. “In Our Bones” got some proper treatment during the band’s world tour for the album, but you might not find it on a set list when the band is in a supporting slot. Shame, because they really keep the character of it when playing it live.

6) YOUNG & RELENTLESS

This is the song that’s in competition with “Forget Me Now” for catchy pop songwriting. It’s a band identity song, about the bustle of being on the road, living through all the ups and downs that come with the life. It’s also impossible to get out of your head, thanks to Ferri’s drums and Costanza’s vocal beat. It’s classic catchy pop. “Young & Relentless,” as one of the album’s most accessible songs, got a unique acoustic video that featured the band playing it while walking around London, eventually having a crowd of fans join in for the last chorus.

7) RUNAWAY

“Runaway” hits you with more of that diversity – it’s a poppy song, but in a more hectic and unchained way, moving from groovy verses to a giant chorus. This is a Dan Gow specialty – the tone and structure of his guitar work is what gives this track the larger-than-life feel it has. It’s one of the quintessential Against the Current songs.

8) BRIGHTER

“Brighter” is actually a re-work from the 2015 EP Gravity, so it’s one of the albums’ oldest songs. Like “In Our Bones,” it’s one of a kind, featuring a wistful piano arrangement that lingers through the song and gives it its emotion. It has “ballad” written all over it, and sounds a little more crisp than the 2015 recording.

9) WASTELAND

“Wasteland” is an exploratory track – it’s wispy and mysterious and dreamy, and it’s one of the best on the album for it. The instruments ebb and flow, and Costanza goes over the verses smooth and calm, hitting the airy choruses before the song sort of explodes at the end. Fun fact: At shows, this is the song Costanza does her famous back bend during, which she used to do during “Infinity” back in the day.

10) BLOOD LIKE GASOLINE

If you read through the lyric booklet for In Our Bones with even the slightest bit of attention, you see Costanza rely heavily on the metaphor of fire (among other things), and nowhere is it stronger than this song. “Blood Like Gasoline” is lip-biting, a monument to the sultriness of volatile love, and the music matches the message: It’s chaotic and bumpy and dark.

11) ROSES

So, “Roses” is seriously underrated. It’s toward the end of the album and didn’t get released as a single or anything like that, so it might be easy to gloss over on a casual first listen. But it’s easily one of the most emotional songs written by the band, and not just because it deals with love and loss honestly and raw. This is a Gow and Costanza superstar track, with Gow’s jingly melodies matching the emotion Costanza’s bleeding, fronted by an endearing guitar lead that takes your hand through the song. This song is a journey to listen to, and sometimes you want to hear it just to feel it.

12) DEMONS

“Demons” functions well as a closer –it’s wound down, but not so sleepy that you lose interest. Notably, this one features Costanza playing with her voice, being more conversational. She draws upon the dreamy, wonderland metaphors that are all around this album, calling up images of silk chains and soul toxins. Toward the end, she sings “I built this wonderland,” and that seems as much of a lyric in the story of the song as it is a calling card for her place on the album.

If, for some reason, you’ve made it through this whole article but haven’t heard the album before, it’s a definite must-hear. In Our Bones was easily one of the top albums of 2016. It may take a few listens to get into, but you get an impressively diverse sound. Often, the genre of pop-rock gets jeered at for its homogeneity, but In Our Bones is a poster child for what good pop-rock is because it dances around the genre, unafraid to go off into its own territory for a while. Happy birthday to In Our Bones and here’s to the next one!

—

Article and photos by sonder editor Andrew Friedgen. Enjoy this? Sonder is an independent music, travel and photography feature journal published at sonderlife.com. Give us a follow here or at our Twitter, Instagram or Facebook if you like in-depth talk about music, travel, photography and lots more.

Also check out:

Our DON BROCO feature

All photos from State Champs’ headlining tour

Photos from The Maine’s Lovely Little Lonely tour

Our many past photos and features on Against the Current

#against the current #chrissy costanza #dan gow #will ferri #in our bones #fueled by ramen #bands #band blog #features

43 notes · View notes

32ortonedge32dh · 8 years ago

Text

The Muffs - Blonder and Blonder

Background

This was probably the height of the Muffs' popularity. Their cover of "Kids in America" was heard by millions in Clueless, and "Sad Tomorrow" from this LP was doing well on the radio (as Kim Shattuck would proclaim in concert as her excuse for refusing to tune). It was looking all uphill from here, as labels were scrambling to hop on the pop-influenced punk wave that was brewing, but it just wasn't to be. The Muffs are still around, one hiatus and several albums later, but they unfortunately never got big enough to draw the stadium crowds that Green Day and some other contemporaries did. While they started to touch success, they weren't quite allowed to grasp it and hold on. No one quite knows why it didn't work too well, but at least we have a solid discography to go back to.

Track by Track Thoughts

"Agony" starts off the album with the energy you can always expect from the gang. The departure of Melanie Vammen isn't exactly glaring (much like her presence on the first album), but the change from Criss Crass to Roy McDonald behind the drums is clear. Where Criss brought straightforward punk energy, with the Muffs Roy seems to restrain himself and play more to the song. The drums usually take a backseat to the punchy guitars and catchy melodies, and this track is no different. Kicks and snares hit almost playfully with vocal punches at times ("soon you'll re-a-lize"). Ronnie Barnett delivers what he usually does, bass that plays nice with the guitar and vocals and is usually mixed too quietly to hear it anyway. Kim provides the normal couple chords and switches nicely between melodic stretches and her trademark scream, capping the song off with a series of yells that wouldn't feel out of place on a metal track.

"Oh Nina" is a live favorite and it's clear why from the jump: the guitar, bass, and snares hitting in machine gun succession can liven up the deadest crowd, and the sing-songy flow and catchy chorus are just plain fun. The screams are on point and numerous, as usual, making you wonder how she's still able to talk after hundreds of times performing this song. The subject matter, presumably about being lured in by a transsexual (or a "queer," as Kim puts it) is funny enough. In general, this is another exercise in consistency by the group, nothing amazing but always a good listen.

"On and On" sees Ronnie's bass poke through a little more, with another nice melody and riff from Kim and solid drums from Roy. "Two ugly people come my way, tell me that I'm wrong" perfectly encapsulates the adolescent rebel vibe ever present in Kim's lyrics. The key change towards the end of the track is a rare treat in the Muffs' discography, another callback to the songs of old that influenced Kim's songwriting. This one's the shortest on the album, clocking in at 1:47.

"Sad Tomorrow" is likely their most talked about song, even though it's honestly not much of a standout on the album or in their catalog as a whole. Ronnie's bass is audible once again, mostly matching Kim's vocals throughout. The solo is used sparingly throughout the Muffs' history, but it's present here, again mostly following the vocal melody.

"What You've Done" is a story of a love gone wrong, another topic Kim's no stranger to. "One fine day I caught you lying" explains the mystery of what you've done pretty bluntly. This is another shorter track, again not reaching two minutes. There's a solid few chords as usual, plus a solo, but there's not much to really go into. The hook is catchy but being interspersed among the vocal- and rhythm-driven verses may hurt it some.

"Red-Eyed Troll" seems to me to be the story of a girl who picks on Kim and tries to steal her boyfriend. It's notable for being the only track where Kim drops an F-bomb ("You piece of shit now, you fuckin' jerk"). This is another fun listen, with the verse seeing the bass hitting with the kick drum and the guitar laying quick, maybe Primus-like chord hits over the snare. During the hook, the bass switches to arpeggiating up and down while the guitar sustains a bit. One false ending and a frantic coda brings it to an end.

"End It All" feels even shorter than it is. It's pretty standard for them, essentially all hook with simple but energetic instrumentation. It's catchy enough, but that's all you'll get. But isn't that all you need?

"Laying on a Bed of Roses" is half indecipherable, but the other half might be about Kim getting mad at a lover who she feels she works too hard for, or something. I don't know. It's not necessarily as catchy as others on here, nor is it as energetic, but it just grooves nicely. It might be a bit of a grower for some as compared to other tracks on here, so keep that in mind.

"I Need a Face" is the first of two face-related tracks on the LP, and the one that has the funniest story relating to it (Kim dedicating it to Kurt Cobain the day after his suicide, leading Roy to quit on his first day before coming right back). This one's catchy, with a fun bassline and a hook made for a crowd to sing along to ("Hang on, hang on, hang on meeee").

"Won't Come Out to Play" is my personal favorite from the album. It's another one that's basically all hook, and the hook is incredibly catchy despite the dour lyrics. The bass is great and plays nice with everything else, the guitar work could be a singalong on its own, the drums stand out a bit without taking over, and the key change is the best I've heard from them. Packing all of this into just a minute and 52 seconds makes this one you could play over and over without getting tired of bobbing your head.

"Funny Face" is one of the slower tracks on here, at around 67 BPM. Another one you want to sing with. The triplet guitar riff and hi-hats together make for a good listen, and even if I couldn't decode the lyrics' larger meaning at gunpoint, they're easy enough to make out. If there's one thing to criticize, it's the fade out ending. Who the hell likes a fade out?

"Ethyl My Love" is another fan favorite, written about the side character played by Vivian Vance on I Love Lucy. The easy to follow chorus, crazy screams from Kim, and the relatively soft bridge that jumps right back into the chaos all probably contribute to the song's status among many diehard Muffs fans (Muff-heads? Muff divers?).

"I'm Confused" is another favorite of mine, though I prefer the demo version by a lot. It oozes petulance in the way only Kim can ("I hate everyone, and I don't like it son," "Everybody is an ass"), and when you combine that with the instrumental it creates another standout by the group. The way the song devolves into chaos is a nice touch, with multiple guitar tracks, the bass track, and the drums just going nuts for the last 45 seconds or so. It adds to the idea of being confused, and serves as an abrupt transition into the closer.

"Just a Game" finishes this LP softly, with a solo track by Kim. Whatever the lyrics mean, the song as a whole manages to give you the feeling that it's closing time. At just a second under two minutes, it's not exactly a marathon, but the slower tempo makes it feel longer than it is. It's not a barn burner like you might expect an album by a triad of pop punkers to close on, but it somehow fits. It's a rare treat live and, when Shattuck can hit the notes, it's easy to see why.

Final Thoughts

Blonder and Blonder is decidedly less punk than the Muffs' previous, self-titled effort, but it fits into their discography as a perfect middle ground in their transition from that more punk, less pop to more of a balance like you'll find on Really Really Happy. Any Muffs fans out there have undoubtedly already heard this album, and fans of the genre would be remiss if they hadn't given it a shot. For those on the fence, or those who might not be familiar with the pop punk blend, you should probably give it a spin if you're into the kind of three chord, aggression over art style that groups like the Ramones and Nirvana were known for. While you can hear the influence of older, softer groups, it's not a smooth transition from them to this, so it might not be a great starting point for them. If you only know the Muffs from Sad Tomorrow or Kids in America and didn't like what you heard, it might be worth peeping depending on what you liked and disliked. Disliking Kim's voice would make this a hard no, obviously, since it's her band and her voice on every track. If you disliked the songwriting or the poppiness, it might be worth a shot considering "Kids in America" was a cover and "Sad Tomorrow" was essentially their play for college pop/rock radio.

The positives outweigh the negatives on this project for me by far. The Muffs' consistency is as much of a boon as it is a hindrance. Kim could write a song in her sleep, but you might not remember it the next day. This album provides some standouts, but not as many as you might expect considering the critical acclaim and the mix of youth and experience Kim, Ronnie, and Roy had at the time. There's pretty endless replay value, as the songs manage to fit well on the album without blending together or feeling too samey and it doesn't command your attention necessarily. It's not too long and it's not something you can't skip tracks on if you want to. Overall, I think these things make Blonder and Blonder a solid 8/10 in my book.

#music #music review #review #8/10

0 notes