#the fourth musketeer

[jadedbirch]

I've decided since I'm already suffering this week, I need to keep on suffering. So I'm now watching this other MASTERPIECE that the Brits have deemed fit to gift us with during the pandemic.

This one boasts what is possibly the most British d'Artagnan I have ever seen? For some reason, it's told entirely in flashback.

Also, we're now pronouncing de Treville's name as.... wait for it ..... de TrevilLAY. That's right, Monsieur de TrevilLAY, who apparently traveled forward in time to serve Louis XIV, who has not yet been born.

The rest of my dying sobs under the cut!

Everything is very Choice! The font is really Celtic/Viking flavored. All the scenes seem to take place indoors because I guess this is very low budget.

Anyways, take a shot each time they say TrevilLAY. Just kidding, you would be dead in the first 5 minutes. Also, every conversation for some reason is much longer than it needs to be. Kept in mind, the entire masterpiece is only 1 hr 25 min long.

For some reason, Milady is a Spanish vixen with a very heavy accent.

Btw, here's the extremely historically accurate M. de TrevilLAY himself:

And these are our Dear Assholes:

Left to right, we have Aramis, Athos, and Porthos. At least these three are authentic assholes, which already makes this (rather long winded and boring) movie more fun for me than the French 2023 version!

Rochefort is here! For some reason he has a pronounced lisp, but I'm happy to see that unlike other adaptations featuring him, he has BOTH EYES in this version. The French 2023 version didn't even HAVE a Rochefort (rude).

d'Artagnan is a glorious idiot in this movie, like, so very dumb, he makes Chris O'Donnell's d'Art look like a genius.

OMG we're almost an hour into the movie and he hasn't even fought the duel with the 3 assholes yet! At this point, it's obvious the duel will never take place because it would have to be OUTSIDE, and, as I've mentioned, all the scenes take place INDOORS. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So the "plot" is that Milady has to seduce d'Art into coming to see Evil Lispy Rochefort so that Rochefort can recruit him to be the Cardinal's Double Agent.

In the meantime, apparently Athos and Porthos both have mistresses 😱😱😱 El Scandalo! TrevilLAY! Also Aramis now owes Porthos a crown because obviously they use British currency in France.

The extras in this movie are truly top notch! They just stand there and GLOWER. Not to spoiler the PLOT, but d'Artagnan is using cabbage as a weapon for purely British reasons.

Milady is TRULY PATHETIC in this version. I have no idea if she even knows Athos. She's basically like a combination of Constance and Milady in this? She's apparently FORCED into working for Evil Rochefort for Reasons, and now she's off on a dangerous mission in England, which we shall never know about because the movie is almost over 👀👀.

By the way, this

is the only fountain in Paris, and also how we're told that we're back in the "present" with Old d'Artagnan, since remember this is all told in flashback. And we must return to the pointless premise of the movie, which is that a young idiot (who looks like Tiny Thor) challenges Old d'Artagnan to a duel to prove himself worthy of being a musketeer.

Anyways, that's all they apparently had time for? It's incredibly pointless and I have no idea why they made this movie, other than maybe someone was really bored during the pandemic.

Lord help me, but I loved this stupid shit, if only because I am going to LOLSOB about M. de TrevilLAY forever and ever.

Grade: D+ as a movie, F- as an adaptation, A++ time stupidly spent

[pilferingapples]

 Victor Hugo wrote from Jersey, "You are restoring Voltaire to us, supreme consolation for France, humbled and silent." Would it be well to publish this compromising letter? Dumas wanted to. He loved Hugo's poems, Les Chatiments, stanzas of which he recited on every occasion, for he had brought back from Belgium steady animosity against the Empire...      But the police held the press in an iron grip and so Dumas listened to the counsels of prudence and let the great Victor's letter go unpublished. Later he regretted it and three years after, in March, 1857, he seized the opportunity to express again his admiration for the exile. When the actress Augustine Brohan dared to attack Hugo in Le Figaro, he took her violently to task and even ventured to demand of the Théâtre-Français that this person should not act in any of his plays. He had of course neither the right nor the power to prevent her, but Hugo was grateful for the gesture. "I love you more every day," he wrote from Hauteville House, "not alone because you are one of the brilliant lights of my century, but because you are one of its consolations."- The Fourth Musketeer

[laferelady]

Mollie Hindle as Milady de Winter - The Fourth Musketeer, 2021

[aprill-99]

*gestures vaguely at a whole ass cast of characters*

“None were ever busy being heterosexual. All were busy studying the blade. Some were still heterosexual, but all still prioritized the blade.”

[hotmusketeerspoll]

Magnificent Musketeer Tournament

Milady de Winter Poll 1 - Round 1

Milady de Winter - Faye Dunaway The Three Musketeers 1973, The Four Musketeers 1974

First of all the historical accuracy of these films in general cannot be overstated, but it's so nice to see a Milady who's allowed to both sit in the general aesthetic of the period AND be a bombshell. Secondly she has a vicious nature that does not in any way detract from the fact that I do see her as a victim of the Musketeers in the last part of the story, which to me is a hard line to walk. She has a chip on her shoulder but she's also a woman in France and her power is limited to 1) the person she's married to and 2) subterfuge. And her first? second? husband murdered her so she's allowed to be pissed. Also Kitty is permitted to exist! The only point against her is her romance with Rochefort but that's such a given now that I guess we must live with it.

Milady de Winter - Mollie Hindle The Fourth Musketeer 2022

Re-imagining Milady as a Spanish spy just has that special flavor....... un yo no sé que, if you will

The complete list of entrants can be found here.

Additional Propaganda under the cut

Faye Dunaway:

Lots of costume pictures:

her butterfly hat made me gay.

Mollie Hindle:

[patch-of-roses]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You never said anything about a fourth. It's always three. Three Blind Mice. Three Musketeers. Three—"

Jay, buddy, I have some bad news for you about the plot of the Three Musketeers and the actual number of musketeers it contains.

[doolallymagpie]

alright, this is what I'm talking about! (well, not exactly, but we're closer to the "flying saucer" kind of vibe I originally wanted)

honestly, just that makes it look a lot less like any other LAM and more like, y'know, something General Motors put together to tell the SLDF "hey, look at how bad Allied Aerospace's Shadow Hawk LAM failed, now look at our 55-ton LAM! it's so good!"

[cinemajunkie70]

The happiest of birthdays to Milla Jovovich!

[sleevebuscemii]

f1 big three will always be seb daniel and lewis. lewis you’re all we’ve got king.

[pilferingapples]

(Dumas) explained his idea by this parable: "A farm is managed by three friends. The one cuts the harvest, the other gathers it, the third threshes and winnows it. I am the one who threshes and winnows. Anything that remains over I feed to the chickens. And that's why all the chickens run to me when I call: 'Come, my little ones; come, come!' while they don't even know the voice of my two associates who have a higher position on the farm than I. . . . I give form to Lamartine's dreams and clearness to Hugo's thoughts, and so I serve a double portion to the public which would be badly nourished by Lamartine's too unsubstantial fare, and would get indigestion from Hugo's too heavy fare. . . . Lamartine is a dreamer, Hugo is a thinker, and I am a popularizer." - The Fourth Musketeer

[etirabys]

the thing about the three musketeers (book) is that there are three musketeers (guys) and also a fourth dude who's always hanging out with them and is part of the friend group. yet he is not one of the three musketeers

[thebibliosphere]

Feel free to ignore, but your post about your phys. therapist bringing up Fourth Wing reminded me of a book I actually did like. It's YA and based on the three musketeers except the protagonist has POTS. it's called One for All by Lillie Lainoff. I thought it was fun.

Lillie and I are actually mutual acquaintances so I’m perhaps bias, (I’m not, I read the book before we met) but I think One For All is great!

[r-aindr0p]

And finally the fourth main musketeer, Aalis ✨ (I want to say badly I love all my children equally but he's lowkey my favorite....)

[marthajefferson]

ATHOS & MILADY DE WINTER in various productions

The Musketeers (TV series 2014–2016), The Three Musketeers (1921), Les Trois Mousquetaires (2023), Les Trois Mousquetaires (1953), The Three Musketeers (1948), The Three Musketeers (1973), три мушкетера (TV series 2013–2014), The Three Musketeers (2011), The Fourth Musketeer (2021), The Three Musketeers (1993)

[verstarppen]

u can make a season two of maxketeers but w FOUR musketeers, the fourth one being their kid ….

Y'ALL ARE NEVER LETTING THIS SERIES GO ARE YOU

[delicatecapnerd]

MAY 22, 2023 12:47 PM

Ray Stevenson, a prolific actor who recently portrayed the villain in the Oscar-winning Tollywood hit RRR, died yesterday, his publicist has confirmed to IGN. He was 58.

George Raymond Stevenson was a Northern Irish actor. He portrayed Dagonet in the film King Arthur and Titus Pullo in the BBC/HBO television series Rome. He portrayed two Marvel Comics characters: Frank Castle / The Punisher in Punisher: War Zone and The Super Hero Squad Show, and Volstagg in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. His other films include Kill the Irishman, where he portrayed mobster Danny Greene, The Three Musketeers, and RRR, where he portrayed the villainous Governor Scott. His television roles include Ukrainian mobster Isaak Sirko in the seventh season of Dexter, Blackbeard in the third and fourth seasons of Black Sails, and voicing Gar Saxon in Star Wars Rebels and Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

picture courtesy of Hollywood.com