#the forty elephants

[possible-eldritch-catboy]

I am suddenly reobsessed with cataloguing all of the currently known members of the Forty Elephants in tgs, but the compendium would be absolutely devastatingly incomplete without Lottie, a member who only ever showed up for one panel in Chapter 10 page 17 - in the original version which no longer exists.

So. would anyone like to donate any screenshots or saved copies of that page from before it got reworked?

(It was that one panel where Hyde is locked in the basement tied to a chair, and there were girls outside the slotted door keeping an eye on him and passing him food. Lottie was the doorwoman leaning against the door, I believe with a casual demeanor and her arms crossed. The entire panel would be preferable, but if anyone has any cropped screenshots of just Lottie saved anywhere, I would be most grateful for them as is.)

[3liza]

i think celebrity and influencer age kayfabe has gotten so extreme in this century that a lot of people are just going to be permanently confused about what normal human age milestones actually look like. lot of very public women "in their twenties" walking around with very clearly 40+-year-old elbows, hands, neck tendons and knee topography. and those are just the ones who don't have doctors that are clever enough to cover that shit up, which I assume most of the A list celebs are doing already with fat transfer, LED therapy, fraxel laser etc. if we ever get stem cells working on a scaled basis we'll be able to grow custom molded bioidentical fat implants and then we're really going to see some shit

[wormthing]

i can feel it in my teeth

silly comic (guest starring david from an american werewolf in london) AND other small doodle....

[emperornorton47]

[quarterpastmidnight]

Aye, we're back reading fiction stuff about the Forty Elephants...Still no movie or t.v show about the all female gang of shoplifters...Honestly writers, you're missing out on a treasure trove of plot devices here.

Not looking in Steven Knights direction at all *whistles innocently*

[ham1lton]

HE SAYS TO BE COOL (I DON’T KNOW HOW YET)

pairings: jenson button x maneater!reader.

warnings: large age gap - around twenty years. a lot of judgement and criticism as there is scrutiny of your relationship.

summary: after a party at a mutual friend’s, you and jenson are photographed leaving together. the large age gap causes concern especially after your admission that you had a crush on him as a young driver.

author’s note: so this is NOT a part of the main maneater storyline. this is just a what if scenario. just something indulgent for the maneaters out there who go for dilfs! last time i checked the friendship group poll, it was practically 50/50 so until that’s decided, there is a big group of all them. also as per usual, there is a poll at the end so please vote <3

— a part of the maneater series ꕤ

liked by messybitch1, landonorris and 1,728,838 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: after the release of lewis hamilton’s newest almave drink, formula one driver y/n l/n, better known as maneater, was seen outside of the event looking quite cozy with former formula one driver and forty-four year old jenson button. how are we feeling about this new power couple, ham1ltons?

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user1: poor lewis. his drink release has been completely overshadowed by this news 😭

user3: age gap couples never last long lol. good luck but he’ll move on to the next twenty something as soon as she shows one sign of aging.

user34: SHUT UP HES SO FINE 😭 i’d do the same as you y/n girl.

-> user51: LIKE 😭😭😭 bffr. most of the ppl here would fold for their older celeb crush.

user7: idk who’s benefiting more from this relationship? but it’s definitely not love.

user9: Y/N!!!! I’LL SAVE YOU!!!

user2: not jenson going through his mid-life crisis post-divorce. girl u can do better.

user8: maneater… pls say this is a publicity stunt.

-> user73: no cause this genuinely might be her ticking off her childhood crush list. which is real but idk if it’s good for her?

user6: is she fucking all the aging drivers? or is jenson the only one stupid enough to say yes?

user25: i support it. i met my husband when i was 21 and he was 37 and we have been together almost twenty years this may. not all age gap relationships are inherently bad.

-> user4: you’re a victim 😕

user12: y’all are gross. any of us would jump at a chance to date our celeb crush. jenson is hot and y/n is a consenting adult. she’s not a child anymore. she didn’t even know him as a child. bffr.

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liked by bestie2, georgerussell63 and 3,828,782 others.

yourusername: what do you do when you haven’t seen your besties for ages? do a photoshoot in the middle of the street. how did you spend your weekend?

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bestie1: we look so good!!! it was soo good to catch up babe. we missed u!!!

-> bestie2: we’ve all been so busy it’s insane how we’ve not been able to see each other more. i was going insane without my girls!!!

user1: is she not even gonna address it?!

-> user6: big ass elephant in the room.

user4: we knew how you spent your weekend ms l/n.

landonorris: am i not your bestie? why wasn’t i included?

-> georgerussell63: or me?!

-> alex_albon: or me? 🤨

-> logansargeant: or me?? 😕

-> oscarpiastri: i get why i wasn’t included tbf.

user10: u think posting pretty girls will make us forget ur weekend escapades? … maybe. keep posting.

user2: can you guys not make everything about a man? who cares if she’s dating jenson? what does that have to do with her ability to do her job or advocate for causes?! i feel sorry for her because you guys clearly dislike her for stupid reasons and are twisting this into a way to jump her ‘ethically’ which doesn’t even make sense. the only problematic thing she’s done is date a man older than her. grow up, my god.

*liked by landonorris, bestie1, bestie2, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, logansargeant and 45,728 others. *

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liked by charles_leclerc, bestie1 and 1,092,728 others.

yourusername: italy, i love you ♥︎

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user3: get you a man that flies u out whenever ur sad.

-> user7: why are we not assuming she flew HIM out?

-> bestie2: he definitely flew her out. lmao.

user89: feels like a disaster waiting to happen lol.

-> logansargeant: not every relationship is like your parents. get therapy instead of projecting onto strangers.

user6: still a whore. i can’t stand this bitch.

-> oscarpiastri: stay mad! she’s young, successful and has many people who love and support her while you’re cursed to just scroll through her posts and seethe in your head. this one sided beef is crazy 🤣🤣!

user9: they’re cute!! idk how i’m the only one who thinks this.

user67: she’s still ugly.

-> alex_albon: looked at your pictures mate and cheers, my nan just vomited.

user12: when he leaves her >>>>

-> georgerussell63: 6.220.183.12

-> user3: NOT THE IP ADDRESS HELP?2&/&

user8: jenson. call me when you need a real woman.

-> bestie1: where is the real woman you speak of? she’s definitely NOT you.

user21: honestly? i just can’t get on board with this ship.

-> landonorris: you can’t even afford a ticket 🤣 delete this.

user10: i’m not saying shit cause why the y/n defense squad dragging people in the comments 😭

liked by oscar.priv, alex.priv and 21 others.

maneater.priv: NEED HIM CARNALLY <3

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bestie1priv: thank god he doesn’t know about ur priv account. i think he’d combust.

-> maneater.priv: nah he giggles. he thinks its funny.

oscar.priv: everyone on a campaign to save you from jenson when they should be saving jenson from YOU!

bestie2priv: LOVE U BOTH <333 cutest couple!

lando.priv: dare you to post this on ur main 😏🤣😁😝

-> george.priv: 43.0.109.12

-> lando.priv: MAN COME ON 😭

don’t want to miss out on my next post? join my taglist! if you enjoyed this, check out my masterlist or buy me a coffee! no pressure ! <3

[cameronspecial]

hey lovely!! i’ve been thinking about rafe spoiling angel and taking her to those cute little stores with all of the cute plushies and stuff. idk, but i absolutely love your work, and i literally giggle and kick my feet when i see that you’ve written more 😛

ilysm pookieeee 😋😋

Let Me Spoil You, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Sex

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.0K

A/N: Thank you so much. It makes me giddy that you enjoy my work!

Masterlist

Y/N had just found out that she got into her top-choice Master’s Program and Rafe couldn’t be more proud of her. She’s been working so hard, so he wants to reward her for her accomplishments. “Rafe, why are we at the mall? You know I mostly shop at outlet stores,” she complains. Rafe brings her to his side, “I know, but why don’t you let me spoil you, Angel?” She exhales and bobs her head. “Fine, but not more than a hundred dollars,” she limits. She really does love it when he pampers her, but she needs to set some boundaries or else he’ll buy the whole mall. He shakes his head, “One thousand.”

“Two-fifty.” 

“Five hundred.”

“Fine, except I get to buy dinner.”

Rafe is satisfied with the offer and holds his hand out for her. He doesn’t want her to feel guilty about him always spending money on her. The first stop on their tour is the bookstore. He purposefully picked this mall because of the big indie bookstore inside. This is probably where she’ll spend most of her money. She has been browsing the science section of the store for about ten minutes now and has already picked out a few books. Rafe wants her to choose whatever she wants; however, he has a small request. He resets his chin on her shoulder, “Could you throw in some spicy romance books? I like proving to you that I am the ultimate book boyfriend.” Y/N giggles, remembering what happened when he caught her reading Icebreaker. She takes his hand and heads over to the romance section. She browses the books for a few minutes and picks one out. She examines the back, proceeding to add the whole series into the basket. “What’s the book about?” he asks because he is intrigued by the fact that she wants to buy all four books. She smiles at her, “The first one is a grump x sunshine book. She is a photographer and he is rich and her brother’s best friend. I’ve seen it on Bookstagram.” 

He follows her further down, “That sounds interesting. I can’t wait to see where it has us having sex next.” Shy about his words, Y/N turns her head away and continues to look at the books. They spend about forty minutes in the bookstore before moving on to  Miniso. Y/N stares at the wall of stuffed animals in front of her. She knows she wants one, but can’t decide which to choose. “Okay, so there are four possible ones that I want. The penguin, the cat, the bear, or the banana. Which one do you think, Rafe?” she consults. Rafe doesn’t use words to reply; instead, he goes to each one she points out and puts it inside the bag. He adds an elephant in just because he thinks she’ll find it cute. “Rafe, that’s too many. Where am I going to put them?” she reasons, trying to reach into the bag to return some of the plushies. 

He holds his hand out to stop her, “It’s still within your budget. We can put them in the frat storage if there isn’t space in my room and when we find a house in the summer, we just have to make sure there is enough room for them.” “Okay, I guess we can do that. Come on. I want to buy you some things too,” she tells him. They pay for the toys and she drags him to J. Crew. “You don’t have to use the money on me. It’s supposed to be for you.” She turns to him with a grin, “I know. This is for me too. You are going to do a fashion show for me.” Rafe isn’t one to like going shopping, but he will find joy in it if Y/N enjoys it. 

Y/N sits on the little stool Rafe got a sales associate to bring over, waiting for him to come out of the changing room. The door opens and he comes out wearing the teal and white-stripped button-up shirt with the tanned chinos that she picked for him. He does his best to catwalk towards her and spins around for her to take in the full look. “What do we think?” he questions. She gives him a thumbs up, “Rafe, you look so good. We are definitely getting those.” He nods his head before going back to the changing room to try on the next outfit. He comes out in black shorts and a light blue polo, which compliments his eyes. He mocks taking a golf swing, “This is the perfect outfit for golfing. We are going to have to get you a matching one.”

“I don’t golf, Rafe. You know that.” 

“I do, but don’t you think it would be fun to have a matching outfit? I can teach you how to play.” 

“Fine, it would be cool. We can go next week. Now, go finish trying on the rest of the clothes.”

He gives her a mock solute. After trying on the other outfits, they get her a matching outfit to Rafe’s and then go pay. They head to his car, having spent five hundred dollars in almost three hours. It’s a new record for them honestly. Rafe opens the passenger side door for her and she slides into the seat with a thank you. He puts the shopping bags in the trunk, making his way to the diver’s side. “Did you have a good day?” he postulates. His eyes land on her beaming mouth and she holds his chin in between her fingers. Her head moves up and down, “I had the best day. Thank you for spoiling me, Rafe.” She gives him a sweet kiss. “I will always shower my angel with gifts. Now, where are you treating me to dinner?” “Let’s get sushi!” she announces, pointing her finger in forward. He chuckles at how adorable she is and starts the car, driving in the direction of her favourite sushi restaurant.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @queen-shadow22 @nonbullshit-toleratingkindagirl

[thedevilrisen]

Sunsets & Daisies

Luke Hughes x Reader Word Count: 2.3k Description: Luke Hughes and his fiancée always have an annual spring photo shoot, this year for their fourth anniversary Luke gets some welcome news.

Every year, when September hits Luke and Y/N venture to some decadently and much fought over location for their annual photo shoot. What once started with the two cramming into a Photo Booth, drunk on Luke’s birthday became somewhat of their tradition.

This year Y/N had practically begged Luke to relinquish all control he had and give it to her, given as of recently a huge surprise - a future altering surprise, was now at play. It had been almost nine months since Luke proposed and with the wedding two days away the couple thought this would be the perfect time to have the shoot before the season starts.

The location was about a forty-five out of Michigan, and was scheduled for the late afternoon in an attempt to achieve some sunset lit pictures. Luke’s sling added to the difficulty of getting ready, being sure not to accidentally aggravate his shoulder while also trying to get the polo shirt on was a massive task.

"You're too tall Lukey, can you bend down a sec?" you murmured, making sure to gently thread the bunched fabric over his injured shoulder first. The swollen, bruised skin making you grimace as Luke hissed through his teeth when you rotated his arm to allow the other one to slip through. "Sorry bub."

"It's alright." Luke whispered, "You're doing your best and their isn't much else we can do for the pain."

"You can have another does of pain killers when we get there, I'll put them in my purse for you to take before we get there.” The girl spoke as she put said medicine in her purse, among other essentials as well as today’s surprise. While she was allowed the liberty of preparing the surprise with the photographer by graciously offering to organise this year's photo shoot, claiming that Luke already does to much. However if Luke told you the story, it would have been told so dramatically the person listening would have assumed you held him at gunpoint. Which was completely untrue. You had used a hot spatula.

"Sounds, good." Luke spoke, grabbing a cap, using it to brush his hair back so it sat perfectly. You could see the one handed struggle he was having as you watched his scrunched up face in the mirror.

With a heavy sigh you crossed your arms, staring at him in the mirror, "Luke, if you think for a second you are wearing that cap during the shoot you have a lot more concerning things to worry about rather then your shoulder."

“I wouldn’t dare, it’s just till we get there so my hair doesn’t get super frizzy.” Luke stated, giving a pointed look as he turned back around and started to walk over to where you sat at the vanity, brushing the last bits of makeup across your face with the brush before turning the light switch and watching the bulbs dim till the room was bathed in darkness.

Exiting down the hallway and plucking the seperate car, house and gate keys off of their designated wall hooks in the entry way, playing them into your purse knowing because of Luke’s arm, even though he would insist on driving you will have to. Walking into the kitchen, hand brushing past the marble countertop, fingers drifting over the bunch of bananas sitting on the stone as you contemplated what you wanted to eat as well as a snack to take.

Luke trotted down the stairs quickly, heavy footsteps sounding out, softened by carpet but still loud enough to contemplate whether or not an elephant was storming throughout your house. “Should I wear my white sneakers? Or my blue ones?”

“I’d wear the blue.. well they are navy actually. There might be red dirt there and it will be easier to get it out of the blue rather than the white.” you said with an analytical tone, thinking best about the circumstances. “Besides, they will work well with your shirt.”

You heard Luke shuffle off down the hallway to the mud room, where you had all the shoes stowed away in little cubby cubes under the coat rack.

“Can you grab my black ankle boots please?” you requested as you opened the fridge, still in search for snacks you knew you were going to want inevitably. It was remarkable how dense men were sometimes, Luke, who knows you inside and out hasn’t even put a thought as to why you may be eating more or why you wanted one food constantly. Almost like you were craving, something.

“The ones with the little chain?” Luke called back out, you could hear him pulling the weaved baskets in and out.

“No! The ones with the little ribbing down the side of the legs?” You spoke, albeit louder so it carried down the hall into the room Luke was in.

“So the ones with the chain!” Luke’s tone matched yours, his with filtered confusion. He was holding said boots, they were black with a tan, woody coloured block on the heel of them, although it added little height and across the ribbed stitching on the side of the boots was a dainty little gold chain.

From where you were standing, brow creased as you looked into the fridge, eyes darting from the bread to make some toast, to the eggs which you could quickly scramble and maybe put on the toast. Then your eyes locked with the packet of dark chocolate covered almonds. Now they would be good.

“Y/N!” Luke cried, still looking at the boots as he waited for an answer. Looking at the wall with a expression of concern and disbelief.

“They aren’t the same boot Luke! They are different bo-“ Y/N cut herself off as Luke wandered into the kitchen, boots in hand. “Oh. But they are two different boots! I swear they are!”

Slamming the fridge door shut, discarding the loaf of raisin toast and butter container and jar of strawberry jam on to bench, crouching and letting the items fall from your arms onto the bench with a clink from the glass jar. You rounded the counter, using your hand to prevent you from bumping your hip bone on the stone.

Luke watched as you damn near jogged, more of a hop, skip and jump down the hall towards the mud room. It was cute, watching your light anger in being wrong show through your actions. Listening to the manic shuffling of the woven crates as you pulled them out of each of their cubby shelves only to see they weren’t the pair of shoes you thought existed, but clearly didn’t. When you came stomping back down the hall with a heavy pout and furrowed brow, giving the boots which matched the description you gave with disdain.

“You were right.” Your tone was short and sad.

“Yeah.. is that upsetting you?” Luke asked, eyebrows scrunching together.

“It is. It shouldn’t but it is.” You spoke in an incredulous tone. Moving back over to the bench, fingers toying with the plastic covering the bread loaf. You felt as if you wanted to yell, cry and scream all at the same time. Darn mood swings.

Luke just laughed, a rich hearty sound that made your knees wobble as you screwed open the jam jar, placing the raisin toast into the toaster, waiting and ruffling through different packets of chips in the snack drawer picking out two and throwing them in Luke’s direction.

“What flavours do you want?” You asked, still swatting your way through the chip drawer.

“I’m not going to be hungry. I ate before remember?” Luke looked up from his phone.

“Okay the-“ you cut yourself off as the toaster popped up, bringing the raisin toast with it. You grabbed the toast out, flinging it onto the bench after realising it was too hot to just hold onto.

Smearing the butter and jam onto the slices of toast, shoving one into your mouth holding it in your teeth as you turned and placed the bread and condiments back into the fridge. After taking a solid, hearty bite of the toast you placed it back onto the bench, not minding the crumbs that dropped off it. You grabbed the boots from where they sat next to the kitchen island counter and slipped your feet into them, the black tights you were wearing to battle the brisk september air aiding in your pursuit.

"Are you ready to go?" Luke looked up as you asked him this, stretching his none injured arm out, then slotting his phone into his back pocket.

"Whenever you are!" He replied enthusiastically, standing up and holding his hand out for you. He watched as you grabbed your purse, still holding your piece of toast trying not to let the jam dribble down your hand. Luke held the front door open as you stepped out and followed the path to where the car was parked in the driveway. You pressed down on the key fob to unlock the door so you could slide into the driver seat while Luke situated himself in the passenger seat, awkwardly reach across his body to pull the seat belt over and click it into place.

Mirroring Luke, albeit with more ease you strapped yourself in before pulling backwards out of the driveway, checking both ways for traffic. Heading to the stop sign at the end of the street, pulling away from the suburban area and driving away from the city after taking an entry onto the highway to go south. Luke had taken care of the music, connecting his phone to the car via aux cord and playing the majority of his songs, with your input for a song here and there.

"Play that Garth Brooks one.. the country one Jack really likes." you spoke, voice raised slightly to project over the song that was currently playing.

"Why would I play that?" Luke questioned back, his face skeptical.

"Because Callin' Baton Rouge is a fantastic song. Now play it." you responded, looking in the rearview mirror, checking the lanes next to you before merge into the exit turning lane, heading down a rural street where the sides of the road was lined with fences holding cattle in and big tall trees acting as a windbreak.

Even though he had absolutely no idea where the final destination was Luke was staring to catch on that it might have something to do with a field, something very nature-y. He was right, or by the fact that you pulled up next to a white toyota camry near the entrance gate to a field which was bordered with a small forest. Following you and getting out of the car, he watched as you ambled over, shook the young woman's hand.

"Luke, this is Kelly. She will be doing our photos this year." Y/N introduced the photographer, it was obvious that she wasn't a random due to the high quality canon camera she was cradling in one arm.

"Pleasure to meet you." Luke exchanged pleasantries with the woman before the little group of three set off into the field, heading towards the treeline. There was a dirt track that Luke could hear led down toward a creek, he could see why you had told him not to wear his good white shoes, there was a certain chance his shoes would be getting a little dirty.

With all credit to you, he had to admit that the spot was absolutely stunning and he couldn't imagine a more perfect place for the photos. Particularly when the dense foliage thins out and he can see the beautiful architecture of some kind of ruined building. Nature had taken over, vines crawling all up the elegant arches which were bathed in late afternoon sun.

"This is beautiful darlin'" Luke murmured in your ear as he looked up from where he was perched on a rock, this was just one of the many positions and places Kelly had you too stand, sit, hug, kiss, smile or laugh for the photos. He already seemed elated at the fact the photoshoot was happening, he hadn't even gotten the news that was turning your stomach inside out with nerves. Or was it something else?

"Okay, Luke, can you turn and face the creek? I need Y/N behind you, and then you are going to turn around." Kelly asked, setting up for the final shot of the big moment. She winked at you as you pulled the little reel of photos out of your purse. Taking a deep calming breath as you stood behind him, holding the photos that represented your future with Luke, you hands were shaking but you stood. "Okay Luke. Turn around for me."

As Luke did you met his briefly before they locked onto the ultrasound photos you held for him to see. His beaming smile dropped into a gape as he looked at the photos dumbfounded, but it quickly returned as he opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words he so desperately wanted to say. Instead he scooped you into his arms, spinning you around as the camera clicked. Capturing this moment forever, allowing you to reflect on it and show it to family and friends.

"Your- Your seriously." Luke stammered, placing you down, cradling the side of your head as well as the side of your stomach.

"Yeah.. I am." you smiled back, matching his grin with one just as bright.

He pulled away turning away and pumping the air before shouting into the forest clearing. "I'm going to be a dad!"

Yes you are Luke Hughes, a damn great one.

[fictionalslvr]

SYNOPSIS: Leon hated you, but even more, hated himself. The pure anger growing because of his selfish mind. He was just jealous, jealous you were younger and prettier. But his chest couldn't help himself. Not on this case.

PAIRING: Vendetta¡Leon x Younger agent¡Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.148k.

WARNINGS: Age gap, but reader is +18! (Not really Enemies) to lovers, not use of y/n, based on the lyrics of "Cigarette Daydreams - Cage the Elephant"

Vorfreude:(n.) The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.

NOTES:: I'm trying really hard to get out of this writer block, so I'm writing slowly. This is just the start of what can turn into a series, so tell me if you guys like to motivate me to continue writing!

“You can drive all night…”

Leon really could. On nights like this, when the stars aren't visible in the obscure sky, his hands would grip on the steering wheel and drive towards nothing. He's definitely wrong for doing that. Driving while being drunk. Barely recognizing anything on the road, the semaphore lights look like a beam that irritates his eyes. Those same eyes who used to shine brighter than that. Those damn eyes who used to look bigger. Those same eyes who are now tired, exhausted, spent, worn out, every single synonym you could search up for to describe those parts he couldn't recognize anymore on himself. He's now nearly forty, and he never imagined this. The younger and pure him would always thought that forty was the age of success, where he would be resting all day, without work to do, without people in his mind, without worries, nothing to worry about. Silly him for thinking that.

“Lookin' for the answers in the pourin' rain…"

He never had his answers, never even had one. He would always question himself, like why he's alive and most of his friends dead. This wasn't a bit fair, and not a single fair for that big rounded younger Leon. When he looks to the past, he hopes he gets blind to not see those things again. Forget everything that happened, the days he spent in pure automatic, the bad things he said, the disgusting things he saw and had to participate in. Leon used to think that things would get better, when it didn't.

“You wanna find peace of mind

Lookin' for the answer

If we can find a reason, a reason to change

Lookin' for the answers

If you can find a reason, a reason to stay

Standin' in the pourin' rain…”

That poor old dog had his reasons to stay. Some reasons even seem foolish, like taking care of his dog. He always thought what his dear four-legged friend would do without him, he would probably die, and he can't let this happen. The big Irish Setter called Luis was a gift from Ashley after some years, she said it was to help them to deal with what happened in Spain. The blond was septic at first, and refused to call a damn dog as Luis. But they were very similar. Those eyes followed him everywhere, the way his fur looked like his hair, and soon…he found himself calling him that way he promised not to. It was stupid. But that stupid act helped. Leon felt like Luis was with him all the time, that his friend were there on his side. And he caught himself chatting with the animal, telling him how the day was tiring, and he seemed to understand everything, practically paying attention to his words. He would sniff Leon, place his snout below his hands to earn some caresses and help him forget the subject quickly. He sure is a clever dog, and he rapidly got attached to the pet, or better saying, his friend. Now, the man would enter his house and found the old dog running to him, jumping on his legs to earn his attention. And that futile act would take out a sincere chuckle out of him, only he could do that.

Old as he is now, he asked the D.S.O to work less. And as he worked so much for them, they granted it. Letting him do little jobs, more like a detective. And that only earned him more headaches. Specifically saying, one headache of a woman, his partner that he despises so much. That voice of yours would get into his brain and annoy him.

—”You drank last night again, right? I can see you're not looking well.”

That got him rolling his eyes up every time, groaning in bitterness. Why would you care about him that much? You never did, and he knows it. You were so much younger, so much brighter, so much like him in the past, and he hated this. You were always such a tease, that damn smile plastered on your face like he wasn't worthy of that happiness. Leon hates you. With the depths of his heart, his repugnance about you is real, and he knows himself enough for that. He just doesn't understand. But he thinks he does, and silly him for thinking that.

His true impliccance to you is your happiness. You can't be happy if he isn't, that's obvious. He started to dig why you're happy and he's not. In the serious cases you were alongside with him, you never took it one hundred percent seriously, you would make jokes all the time and he would just ignore. But deep inside, he was holding himself not to laugh.

—”Damn, where's everyone going?” — Leon looked behind, watching you circle on your place, searching for human sights.

—”Bingo.”

And his answer came out of nowhere. So suddenly you didn't expect it. That took a single giggle of you, your eyes squinting as you shook your head to it.

—”Yeah, okay old man.”

He found himself proud, proud that his same old joke made some effect. Even if it was on someone he hated it. Leon sighed softly, turning back to his place and wondering if you would find his other jokes funny. You were always laughing, so it would be easy to make you laugh. But that wasn't the time for it, and neither was important. Leon quickly got back to his serious face and focused on the mission. But you, you were surprised to see such a side of him, even a fraction of it. He never was the one talking to you, and you just thought he was the serious old man you heard of. And honestly, you heard a bit of his story, of his mades and how impressionnant he is. But you would never admit it, because that would be invasive, and you're not prepared to understand his pain.

But Leon is a bad liar, a really bad one. And he couldn't lie to himself, couldn't lie when his hurt hung to each other, not when his pupils dilated without his consent every time, not when his hands started to sweat or the words slipped out of his tongue incontrollably. He knew this was love, in the most bad time to come in, and the most bad person to fell in love, but there's no denial. The problem is, Leon Kennedy is also not going to accept it easy, so that's a big problem from now on. Even bigger if the problem is you, the so annoying rookie that's he's slowly wishing you two are on the same mission, the same rookie that laughs of his stupid jokes, that rookie that brings some desserts some times and he pretends not to like. That damn rookie.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Man 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Lloyd Hansen

Summary: a demanding customer complicates more than your work life.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

A few days pass as the humiliation of your big lesson clings in the air. You think about it too much. Enough that you find yourself cringing to yourself on your bike ride home or even when lying in bed. You’ve never been the most socially adept so the encounter leaves you reeling.

As you help Bre with opening, you feel your heartbeat pick up once more. You need to chase the elephant from the room. You puff out and wet your lips as you glance over at her. She measures out grinds into the silver machine as her eyes pinpoint on the task.

“Um, so, Bre,” you approach her warily with a fresh sleeve of cups, “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Mm,” she grumbles groggily. She’s on her second coffee already and she only just got there twenty minutes ago.

“So, um, that guy, from the other day,” you rub your boiling neck, “with the mustache. You said he’s the boss. So he owns this place?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes as she shuts the lid of the machine and turns the silver dial on the front. She shakes her head as the machine starts to brew and she plants her hand on the counter in front of it. She faces you, her other hand going to her hip.

“Mr. Hansen? Lloyd. Hansen.” She enunciates as if you should know the name.

Your lips downturn and you shrug, “is that his name?”

“Are you new in town?” She asks hotly.

You nod, “yeah, actually. I used to live about forty minutes out of town but there was nothing there--”

“It shows,” she retorts, “he owns this shop, he owns the street outside, he owns me, he owns you. He owns this city. Got it?”

You hum and nod as you look thoughtfully to the ceiling, “not really. But he’s important, got it.”

“Just if he comes back in, come get me and say as little as you can. And please, for the love of god, do not ask him for money,” she snips.

“Oh, alright,” you deflate, “I didn’t know--”

“Now you do. Just trust me when I tell you, you don’t want to fuck around with him. If he tells you to pour boiling water on yourself, you’re better off just doing it,” she sneers.

You wince, “okay, sorry, Bre, I was just asking.”

“You ask too many questions,” she turns and goes into the backroom. She returns, dangling a keyring from her finger, “open up. It’s time.”

You take the key and go to unlock the door and flip on the sign. You retreat back behind the counter, swallowed up by the tension between you. You regret asking. You thought it might help clear the air but now you can barely breathe.

When the first customer enters, you volunteer to help them. Bre just mutters and slurps from her coffee. She might have less of a headache if she takes it easy on the caffeine. You don’t say as much to her, nothing really at all as you work through order after order.

She hops onto prep as you man the till while the queue grows. The morning rush is in full effect as you slide baked goods into little paper sleeves and hand them over before sending customers down to the window to wait for their drinks. The hectic flow helps you forget about the awkward start.

When at last the crowd trickles down and the cafe hums with voices sitting at the tables, you have a moment to catch your breath and center yourself. You like this job, it’s just like your last one, but the company isn’t as pleasant. Bre taps her thumb on her phone screen and ignores you.

The ebbs come with hide tides and soon lunch has you scrambling once more. The smell of toasted bread and cinnamon has your stomach grumbling. You’re too busy to let the emptiness bother you for long. When high noon influx subsides, Bre yawns.

“Lunch,” she announces, “I’m going to head down to Tabitha’s. They’re having a clearance sale.”

“Oh, alright,” you agree, not mentioning that she said earlier you could go first, “I’ll be here.”

She doesn’t respond as she disappears into the back to get her things. You hear her leave through the side door that leads through to the alley. You sigh out and watch the sit-in customers on their laptops or chatting with friends.

You resist the temptation of the tarts staring at you from the display. You can hold out until it’s your turn. The door jingles and a new customer enters. You’re too fixated on the painting of a latte to glance over. Not until you sense the sudden shift in the air. Several people quiet and pack up to go.

Footfalls scuff across the floor and customers leave their unfinished drinks on the table as they hurry for the door. You peer around then at the approaching shadow. It’s him. Oh no. Bre isn’t here.

“Um, hello, Mr. Hensen,” you smile shakily, “how are you?”

He stares at you as he comes to stand across the till from you. His blue eyes darken as he lets a long exhale out through his nose. You gulp and your cheeks tremble. He tilts his head and arches a brow.

“Hansen,” he corrects.

“Right, Floyd Hansen, I remember--”

“Lloyd,” he hits his fist on the counter and you gasp. “Lloyd fucking Hansen.” He leans forward and bares his teeth, “get that through that thick fucking skull.” He reaches for you, grabbing the front of your shirt, “you won’t forget who I am.”

“I’m s-sorry, I’m bad with names--”

“Shut up,” he twists the fabric until it strains against the back of your neck, “if you weren’t so goddamn pathetic, I’d drag you across this counter.”

Your eyes round and you bat your lashes. He’s only an inch away from you. You shiver as he opens his hand and presses the vee of his index and thumb to your throat. You’re frozen, terrified. Who is this man?

“Get me my fucking coffee,” he squeezes then shoves you so you choke.

You stumble back and bring your hand to your neck. You nod, eyes glittering with unspent tears, and look around. You can’t remember what he ordered. You’ll just have to make something up. Or maybe you could just sneak out like Bre...

[panjakes]

Can I get this fluff where Namjoon and the reader are parents(they have like three kids) and Namjoon takes them to Disney world and the kids are really excited so they’re going wild and it stresses Namjoon out😭😭Thank you🫶🏼

“Daddy I hungry!”

“Daddy I have to use the bathroom!”

Namjoon sighs shaking his head. He was currently at Disney world with his family but his wife was no where to be found

“Daddy’s where’s mommy?”

“I don’t know baby” he says pulling out his phone to call her but immediately stops when his son in the stroller started crying

“Daddy Coby’s crying”

Namjoon sighs looking down at his daughter who looked up at him with her big brown eyes

“Thank you Akilah, try and calm him down please” he says dialing his wife’s phone. He looks around and noticed that he’s missing a child.

“Nailah?? Nailah?! Akilah where’s your sister?!” He asks

“I don’t know” she says playing with her brothers feet

“Hello?!”

“Yn?! Where the hell are you?!” He asks into the phone looking around for his other child

“I’m at the food stand. I’m hungry” she says making Namjoon sigh

“What food stand there are like forty different ones” Namjoon asks finally spotting Nailah walking over to her

“Uhh it’s blue and white” Yn says making Namjoon look around

“Stay there! Don’t move!” He says before hanging up. He quickly picks up Nailah who was poking at some things

“Hey!” She says

“Nailah what did mommy and daddy tell you about wondering off?” He asks walking back over to the stroller

“Uhh don’t do it because it’s dangerous?” She says

“Exactly! Don’t do it again!” He says putting her down next to the stroller

“Daddy I have to use the bathroom” Akilah says making Namjoon groan

“Kilah baby can you hold it?” He asks

“I don’t think so! I think I’ll pee of myself” she says hopping up and down.

“Okay come on” Namjoon says grabbing her hand and pushing the stroller. The walk up to the bathroom and Namjoon looks at the two small girls

“Nailah take your sister to the bathroom” Namjoon says

“Okay! Come on Kilah” she says taking her sisters hand and going into the bathroom.

Namjoon sighs sitting down on the bench outside pulling the stroller closer to him. He looks down at his son who was now calm and bitting on his fingers

“Who knew a trip to freaking Disney world would be so damn stressful” he mumbles

He shakes his head but quickly stops when he noticed his wife walking pass the bathroom

“Yn!” He shouts gaining her attention. She turns around looking at me before walking over

“Hey babe” she says

“Hey babe? Hey babe?!?! Yn where the hell were you?!” He asks

“I told you at the food stand” she says bitting into the Micky mouse waffle sandwich she was eating

“And how much was that?!” He asks

“I think about 15 dollars” she says shrugging

“You have got to be kidding me? Yn really?” He says

“What? I got you one too” she says handing him a bag

He stares at her before snatching the bag and pulling out the sandwhich

“Where are the girls?” Yn asks looking around

“The bathroom” Namjoon says bitting into the sandwich

Yn takes a piece of waffle from her sandwich and feed it to her son

“Was he good?” Yn asks

“He got fussy for a little bit but stoped when Akilah started playing with him” Namjoon admits

“Mommy!! Nilah almost fell into the toilet!” Akilah says giggling

“How nilah. How?!” Yn asks

“I’m too small for the toilet” Nilah says with a pout

“Now that we’re all here can we all STAY together?” Namjoon asks

“Of course! Come on let’s go ride some rides!” Yn says smiling causing the girls to cheer

The three of them join hands and run off causing Namjoon to sigh

“Didn’t I just say stick together?” Namjoon says quickly following behind his three girls

“Daddy can me and coby get on a ride together” Nilah asks

“No bubble bee Coby isn’t big enough” Namjoon says

“He can sit in my lap!” She says smiling

“Next time bubble bee, I promise” Namjoon says smiling

“Daddy I’m still hungry” Akilah says

“Okay what do you want to eat?” Namjoon asks

“A elephant ear!”Akilah says

“I want one too!”Nilah says excitedly

“No you don’t! You want it cause I do” Akilah says now annoyed

“So what??” Nilah says rolling her eyes

“Bubble bee be nice to your sister”Yn says

“I’m bubble bee she’s honey bee!” Nilah points out

“Babe just leave the nicknames too Me”Namjoon says

“Oh okay, you got it daddy” she says rolling her eyes

“Does Coby have a name?” Akilah asks

“He has Coby” Yn says

“Yeah but like that’s really close to his name” Nilah says

“Well let me think of one and he’ll have one by tonight” Namjoon says making the girl nod

“Can we get on the elephant mommy?” Akilah asks making Yn laugh

“His name is Dumbo and yeah come on!” Yn says running off with the two small girls

Namjoon sighs pushing the stroller as fast as he could

It was now nighttime and the family of five were about to watch the fireworks.

“Come on honeybee!! Wake up!” Namjoon says shaking Nilah who was slumped over in his arms. Yn held Akliah’s hand and Coby in her arms

“Leave her be” Yn says smiling

“But she’ll miss it!” Namjoon says pouting

“That’s her own fault” Akilah says licking at her ice cream while Colby looked around at all the bright lights around him

“Babe! Let’s take a picture!” Yn says reaching into the diaper bag pulling out the green Polaroid camera.

“Come on honey bee wake up! Just for the picture” Namjoon says

“No daddy I’m tired” she says rubbing at her eyes

“Take the picture and then you can sleep” Namjoon says

“Okay” she mumbles

A nearby women seen Namjoon struggling to take the picture

“I’ll take it for you!” She says

“Thank you so much” Namjoon says handing over the camera

“Smile honeybee!” Namjoon says kissing her cheek causing her to give a sleepy smile

“Aw you guys are so cute!” She says handing over the camera and picture

“Thank you” Yn says

They all look at the picture with smiles

“Look Coby! Look at your big ole head!” Yn says causing the baby boy to giggle

“Not cool. Stop talking about my son” Namjoon says making Yn laugh

“Daddy look! The fire works are going to start!” Akilah says pointing to the sky

The loud boom of the fireworks scares Nilah from her peaceful slumber.

She glares at Namjoon before pointing at the fireworks

“Make them stop daddy” she says making you giggle

“That’s out of his control Nilah stop being a baby and watch the fireworks” Akilah says rolling her eyes

“Bumblebee be nice to your sister” Namjoon says sternly

Akilah ignores them and continues to watch the fireworks with her mom and baby brother. When the fireworks were over the small family walked back to their room.

Namjoon being the person he is, booked a conjoined suite allowing the girls to have their own space and him and Yn with coby in the other space.

“Today was fun” Yn says patting coby on the back

“It was stressful but fun” Namjoon says sighing

“Stressful how?” Yn asks getting into the bed laying coby on her chest

“Uh you left me with the kids and I couldn’t find you. Our daughter kept walking off. Coby wouldn’t stop crying and you spent at least 200$ on food.” He says sighing making Yn laugh as she places coby on the bed between them

“I’m sorry baby I won’t do it tomorrow” she says reminding him that they had an entire week left of this

He sighs again sinking into the bed getting face to face with coby

“How about we sit tomorrow out son” he says making the tiny boy giggle

He looks over at Yn watching as she wraps her long braids up putting them into her bonnet. Before he could compliment her on how good she looked the screams of his daughters made his mind go into daddy mode

“Daddy!!!” Nilah screams as she and Akilah run into the room screaming

“Nilah? Kilah? What’s wrong?!” Yn asks also I’m patent mode

The two girls ignore their mother jumping onto Namjoon making him groan.

“Daddy kill it!” Nilah shouts

“Daddy it’s a spider! It’s big! Kill it please!”

Namjoon groans picking up both girls carrying them into the other room.

“Where was he?” Namjoon asks

“IT, was over there by the Tv” Nilah says as Namjoon puts her and her sister on the bed

Namjoon walks over to the tv stand seeing the itty bitty tiny spider. Sighing he steps on it and cleans it up with a napkin.

“He’s gone. Now it’s lights off” he says

“Daddy we can’t find our bonnets” Akilah says making Namjoon sigh

“Did you leave them at home?!” He asks hoping they didn’t because he knew his wife spent a long time on their hair and would be upset if they messed up their hair

“No we put them in a bag” Nilah says

“In a bag? What bag?” He asks making them shrug and making him groan

“Okay stay right here and be quiet mommy’s putting coby to bed” Namjoon says walking out the room Spotting Yn on the bed feeding coby,

“Can you give the girls their bonnets? They’re on the dresser over there” she says making Namjoon silently cheer plucking the bonnets from the piece of furniture

He rushes into the other room wrapping up the girls hair like Yn taught him.

“Alright girls. Lights out.” Namjoon says turning off the big light and turning on the small Micky mouse night light

“Daddy, can I have Micky mouse pancakes?” Nilah asks

“You can have whatever you want honey bee” he says placing a kiss on her forehead

“Can I have princess tiana waffles?!” Akilah asks excitedly making Namjoon laugh

“Of course you can, goodnight. I love you” Namjoon says before kissing her forehead

“Goodnight daddy! Love you too!” The says before turning over in opposite directions to fall asleep

Namjoon walks out the room closing it leaving it cracked.

He sighs getting into the bed looking over at his wife and son. Coby was asleep as Yn rocked him slowly.

“I’m not doing this again tomorrow” Namjoon says throwing the blanket over his head

“Sure, see you in the morning my love” Yn says leaning down to kiss his lips

“I’m serious Yn. Do not wake me up” he mumbles

She is so going to wake him up.

[okminer07]

A Growing Problem Pt 2

This is a shorter part than I planned to post, but I really wanted to give y'all an update and let you know I'm still working on this. Hopefully 3rd part will come soon.

Lily stepped through the door frame, looking around curiously for him. Clearly, she had been expecting him to be right at the front door to meet her. It didn’t take long however for her eyes to land on Jeremy, the elephant-sized elephant in the room.  

She let out a yelp at the sight of him, her hands immediately dropping the paper bag she had been carrying to fly up and cover her mouth in horror. Her eyes looked ready to pop out of her skull as she looked him over. He looked grimly back at her, panic rising when she backed away a step. 

“Don’t go.” he pleaded, “Please, don’t go.”  

At the sound of his voice, a sort of realization filled Lily’s eyes, “J-Jeremy?”  she looked him over again, still gaping, “Wha- how-”  

“I don’t know.”  

“You're…. You're…” she stepped closer, “You’re huge!”  

“You think I haven’t noticed?!” he bellowed, gesturing down at himself. 

Lily recoiled slightly, “B-but how?” 

“I don’t know! It-it just happened!”  

She held up her hands, “Okay! Could you please try and calm down?” 

“Calm down? Calm down?!” he got off his hands and knees and sat up, “Look at me!”  

Lily’s mouth dropped, backing away. Her raised hands were shaking. 

Jeremy faltered, guilt tugging at his heart at seeing her reaction. He slouched over, “I’m…. I’m sorry.” he looked pleading down at her. God, she looked so diminutive, “I….. I didn’t mean to… I don’t know what’s happening.” 

She lowered her hands, tilting her head, “did you think I would?” 

He waved a hand in exasperation, “I don’t know. Maybe. I just had no idea what to do. Have you ever seen or heard of anything like this?” 

“N-no” she breathed, “I’ve never…..” she stepped closer, scrutinizing him, “I’ve never seen anything like this.”  

As she got closer, Jeremy felt his face heating up. Lily wasn’t tall herself, far from it. It was something people often teased her about. The last time he asked about her height she had told him 4’11, but even that seemed a little generous. Still, it shocked him to see that even sitting he was taller than her. What the hell was this?  

His stomach growled loudly and his whole face went scarlet as Lily jumped back. He clamped a hand over it, looking back at her sheepishly. Why wouldn’t it shut up?!

“I….. I think we should maybe get some food in you.” She looked around the room, her eyes landing on the paper bag on the floor. She snatched it up and dug out a maple bar which she held up to him. He slowly raised his hand and took it, put off by the fact it was the size of a granola bar to him.  

Lily backed away as he ate the whole thing in one bite, “Okay.” she breathed, “Okay, we- we need to get you to a hospital or something.” she began to pace, “The closest one is what? A forty-five-minute drive? Because I really don’t think the clinic is what we need for uh… for this. I saw your Grandma’s truck outside. We could probably fit you in the boot? Yeah, that would work. And then-” 

Jeremy began to tune out her rambling. He licked his fingers clean of any glaze left from the maple bar while he eyed the fridge. 

“But what are they even going to do? Maybe take a look at your pituitary gland? But that would require an MRI and that would-” 

“Hey, Lily?” She paused and looked up at him, “I’m sorry but uh…. Can you grab me something out of the fridge or pantry?”   

She looked to her left and into the kitchen, her eyes landing on the torn-off cabinet door. 

“Did….. did you do that?” 

His cheeks went pink as he nodded. 

“Oh uh…. Sure thing.” 

“Thanks” he murmured as she headed over to the fridge. The floorboards creaked under his weight as he leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. Surely they’d get this all figured out. Hell, there was still even the chance this was all a bad- 

“Ack!” Jeremy flinched. A small bolt of burning pain had shot its way up his spine before it vanished. His hands flew back behind to rub the length of it.

Lily had rounded on him the moment he had shouted, clutching tightly to the carton of milk she had found, “Are you okay?”  

“Yeah. yeah, I think so,” he slapped a hand to his forehead, sighing and shaking his head, “I just thought- AUGHH!” 

That same burning pain erupted within his chest. Jeremy screamed, falling to the floor and clutching his chest as the pain spread. His eyes watered as it made its way to his arms and legs which twisted and convulsed, his hands and heels slamming into the floor as they writhed in agony. He couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. All he could think about was this abhorred sensation, this familiar sensation of every fiber of his being ripped apart while his ears were filled with the sickening sound of cracking and his own screams.  

It stopped. Just like before, all the pain disappeared within an instant.   

Jeremy’s chest rapidly rose and fell as he gasped for air, his heart was still beating like he had run a marathon. Beads of sweat trickled down his face. He removed his clammy hand from his chest to wipe his face, rolling over onto his back as he did. The floorboards creaked loudly beneath him. Staring up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but feel like it looked different, closer.   

Lily, Lily was still here.  

“Lily?” he groaned. He pushed himself to sit up, “Lily? Wha- ack!” The top of his head smacked into something before he fully sat up. Oh no.   

He laid back down and stared up in horror at the ceiling that was definitely much closer. It felt like acid was creeping up his throat as it slowly began to dawn on him. When he had first felt that pain, what had happened? He had shot up a good five feet. Which could only mean…  

Jeremy slowly heaved himself up onto his elbows, shaking as his eyes landed on his own body. His heart plummeted into his stomach as his mouth fell open. What had been his shirt and shorts were now nothing but a few ripped-up scraps that clung loosely to his body. The only thing in tack on him now was somehow his boxers, but even those felt and looked pretty snug. His legs stretched across the room and were mere inches away from the front door. The umbrella stand that stood nearby was barely taller than the barefoot up next to it.    

“No, no no no no no,” he began to backpedal away from the door, his limbs trembling and fumbling around, “T-this isn’t- this isn’t-” he let out a panicked yelp when his hand accidentally came down upon one of the chairs around the dinner table. It instantly snapped and when he wrenched his hand up it was nothing but a broken mess of wood, “This isn’t- not again!”  

He whipped his head around the cramped space, finding it harder and harder to breathe the more he saw. This was insane! This wasn’t happening!   

Jeremy suddenly froze, his eyes landing upon a small figure crumpled on the floor, pressed up against the kitchen cupboards. Lily.   

The look on her face made his stomach churn. All the color had drained from her face, so pale she could have been mistaken for a corpse if she weren’t trembling and her eyes weren’t so alert.   

He looked himself over again, grimacing at the sight before hugging his legs up to himself and burying his head between his knees. “W-what’s happening to me?” his eyes began to water. He inhaled sharply, a tear streaking down his cheek that was quickly followed by another and then another.  

Within seconds, his face became a snot and tear-covered mess as he began to sob. He couldn’t stop himself, and it felt like the only thing he really could do.   

“I-I-I-I’m some sort of freak!” he wailed, voice cracking. He began grabbing at chunks of his hair, nails digging into his scalp deeper and deeper as he bailed his eyes out.  

“Jeremy?”  

He peeked between his legs through blurry eyes. Lily was now standing a few feet away, her hands raised as she inched closer. His eyes widened and he scooted away, shaking his head. 

She continued to come closer, “It’s okay. J-just calm down.” He gulped down another wave of sobs as she approached him, growing more and more unnerved at the sight of her standing before him, barely able to peek over his knees and see his face.  

Her hands came up and he suppressed the shiver that ran through him as they made contact with his face. He struggled to remain frozen while gazing into her soft eyes.  

“Breathe, okay? Just breathe” He did as he was told, averting his gaze and focusing in on his breathing. Gradually, his heart began to slow. It never stopped murmuring, but it at least didn’t feel like it was going to burst out of him, “Jeremy?” He forced himself to look Lily in the eye, his chest tightening at the sight of her so close, “It's… it’s gonna be okay, okay?” He heaved a sigh, she didn’t say that with much confidence. 

“W-what am I supposed to do?”  

[sodapop-hospice]

So here’s the council 💖

Not depicted are my five (?) Furby buddies, my 2023 furbling, and my forty-ish McDonald’s furbs. I don’t count them when taking family photos because fuck that. Moving nearly 67 furbies is painful as is.

Below is a list of all of their names, pronouns, and model names. Enjoy ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

———————————————————————

First Row

❤️Zara (she/her) - Dalmatian

🧡Luxury “Lux” (she/her) - Champagne

💛Cruft (he/him) - Silver Millenium

💚Lotus (he/they) - Elephant

💙Hyacinth (she/her) - Elephant

💜Askew (he/they) - Tiger

❤️Wren (they/them) - Dalmatian

———————————————————————

Second Row

🧡Crush (he/him) - Leopard

💛Celsius (he/him) - Husky

💚Fenti (she/her) - Snow Leopard

💙Birch (he/him) - Zebra

💜Jolt (she/they/it) - Koala

❤️Honeydew “Honey” (she/her) - Coffee

———————————————————————

Third Row

🧡Cider (she/her) - Autumn

💛Faygo (she/they) - Ladybug

💚Lottery “Lotty” (they/she) - Kiwi

💙Fanta (she/her) - Rooster

💜Moth (she/her) - Wizard

❤️Sodapop (he/it/they) - Ladybug

🧡Brew (he/him) - Autumn

———————————————————————

Fourth Row

💛Spry (he/him) - Dalmatian

💚Salud (she/they) - Flower Bud Baby

💙Niro (they/them) - Primary Baby

💜Sprocket (he/him) - Spring Baby

❤️Sucrose (he/him) - Confetti Baby

🧡Pluto (he/him) - Minty Baby

💛Gauze 2 (they/he) - Witch’s Cat

———————————————————————

Fifth Row

💚Mayday (she/they) - Skunk

💙Coal (he/him) - Santa

💜Deetz (she/it/they) - Church Mouse

❤️Blitzen “Blitz” (he/him) - Reindeer

🧡Punch (they/he/she) - Flamingo

💛Helvetica (she/her) - Santa

💚Chad (he/him) - Tropical

———————————————————————

Sixth Row

💙Gumshoe (he/him) - Witch’s Cat

💜Threat (he/him) - Pink Baby

❤️Lune (she/star/bun/moon) - Peachy Baby

🧡Bee (he/him) - Blue Baby

💛Gloom (they/them) - Spring Time Baby

💚Osteo (he/him) - Snowball Baby

💙Lovelace “Vel” (she/they/he) - Dalmatian

———————————————————————

Seventh Row

💜”Baabu” (???) - Blue Baby

❤️Sugar (she/her) - Leopard

🧡Vinyl (she/they) - Racer

💛Sweet Tart “Sweetie” (they/she) - Tie-Dye

💚Rico (he/him) - Spring

💙Cream (she/her) - Snowball

💜Bierce (they/them) - Easter

❤️Carrion (he/him) - Snowball Baby

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Eighth Row

🧡Shea (she/her) - Gorilla

💛Sumo/Paradise (she/her) - Skunk

💚Kujo (he/him) - Church Mouse

💙Pepsi “Bepis” (she/her) - Wavy Stripes Baby

💜Ferris (she/they/he) - Dalmatian

❤️Attic (he/him) - Grey Wolf

🧡Ribbit “Ribb” (they/them) - Frog

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Ninth Row

💛Gambit (he/him) - Snowball Baby

💚Faun (he/him) - Bear

💙Bottle (he/they) - Giraffe

💜Micheal (he/him) - Lizard

❤️Lotion (he/him) - Giraffe

🧡Coriander “Cori” (he/him) - Cheetah

💛Fortune (he/him) - Giraffe

💚Cryptid (they/it) - Very Purple Baby

———————————————————————

Not Depicted ( only 1998 mechanical furbies)

💙Spree (she/her) - Gorilla

💜Dusk (he/him) - Church Mouse

❤️Gauze 1 (???) - Witch’s Cat

———————————————————————

And finally, here’s the previous photo I took next to the current one. Clearly I’ve been on my custom grind in the past few months 😅‼️

[howlingday]

Panthera Tigris Tigris Nikos

Jaune: Hey, Pyrrha? Can I have a hug?

Pyrrha: Of course, Jaune! (Hugs)

Jaune: (Sinks into her)

Pyrrha: Would anyone else like-

Nora: (Dragging Ren) MEMEMEME~!

Fun Fact! Bengal tigers are big. Females have been documented to reach 400 pounds, males 500 pounds, and occasionally larger specimens reaching 700 pounds. Royal Bengal Tigers are reportedly even bigger, with one specimen shot by David Hasinger in 1967 was reported to be 857 pounds, measured at 11 feet long, and left paw prints "the size of dinner plates," and it's last meal was a live water buffalo weighed down by an eighty-pound weight. It is displayed in the Smithsonian Institutions's National Museum of Natural History, in the Hall of Mammals.

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Pyrrha: Ready for our run, Jaune?

Jaune: You bet! Maybe this time I could-

Pyrrha: (Ear flicks) Oh, uh, why don't you keep warming up, Jaune? I need to grab something from the dorm.

Jaune: Oh, uh, sure thing, Pyrrha. I'll be right here.

Cardin: (Sitting on the roof) What the hell? Where's Nikos go- (Door swings open, Mauled)

Fun Fact! Bengal Tigers are fast. They can make short sprints of forty miles per hour, which is about the speed of a thoroughbred horse. An incident with a startled tigress mother with her cubs in Nepal in 1974 resulted in the death of a researcher who was hiding 15 feet in a tree. In 2007, on Christmas Day at the San Francisco Zoo, an Amur Tiger cleared a thirty-foot moat to maul three visitors who were harassing the tiger, killing one of them before being killed after four shots to the skull by responding police officer's .40-caliber-pistol rounds. It should be noted that the Amur was a captive tiger, raised from birth in the zoo. Imagine a wild tiger raised in the jungle.

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Pyrrha: Are you okay, Jaune?

Jaune: Y-Yeah, I... Wait, what about the goliath?!

Pyrrha: It's okay, Jaune. I took care of it.

Jaune: But how, Pyrrha? (Holding) Your weapons-!

Pyrrha: (Takes, Smiles) I took care of it.

Jaune: (Looks behind her, Sees dead goliath)

Fun Fact! Bengal Tigers are strong. Their bite force can reach up to a thousand pounds, which is much stronger than a pitbull's and about a quarter of a great white shark. Their prey includes deer, buffalo, bison, bears, rhinos, and elephants. A single blow can break a bear's spine, and easily decapitate a human.

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Jaune: Thanks again for letting us come visit, Mrs. Nikos.

Mama Nikos: Oh, Jaune, don't be so formal. We're practically family, so just call me Mama.

Jaune: Uh... No, I'll just stick with Mrs. Nikos, if you don't mind.

Mama Nikos: Oh, you are just so polite! I'm glad Pyrrha could have such a handsome team leader like you.

Pyrrha: (Blushing) M-Mom...

Nora: Can I have more meat buns, Mama?

Ren: Nora...

Nora: Oh, right! Khm! May I have more meat buns, Mama?

Mama Nikos: They're in the oven.

Jaune: So what do you do for a living, Mrs. Nikos?

Mama Nikos: I'm a personal fitness trainer. It's actually how I met Pyrrha's father. He said he could perform a perfect double twister kick, and I told him it was impossible unless he could twist and launch himself at a 167 degree rotation with a north-northwest gale blowing at 3.5 miles per hour behind him-

Mama Nikos: (Ding!) Oh! Meat buns are done!

Jaune: Huh...

Pyrrha: Don't worry. I didn't get it the first time, either.

Fun Fact! Bengal tigers are smart. Cubs are raised by their mothers for two and a half to three years. There are also notes of tigers imitating deer and bear calls. They will chase larger prey into water, tear at buffalo legs to bring them to the ground, and will flip porcupines from to their backs to avoid spines. There are also records of tigers killing 15-foot crocodiles, 20-foot pythons, 300-pound seals, and a 20-year-old elephant.

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Jaune: Hm? Hey, Pyrrha? Who's this standing with your mom?

Pyrrha: Hm? Oh... That's... That's my mother. She... She's not around anymore.

Jaune: Do... Do you want to talk about it?

Pyrrha: I... I don't know where to begin. She was my hero, but she did something really bad, and she died when I was really young. And I...

Jaune: Hey. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.

Pyrrha: (Leans on Jaune) I was probably six years old when it happened. She and I were on our way to watch a tournament together, but then this guy came from out of nowhere. He shot at us and broke her jaw. She carried me back home, and then... She left that night. I didn't learn about what happened to her until just after getting accepted into Beacon. She... She went on a rampage and then... Then she...

Jaune: (Holds her) Hey, hey. It's okay, Pyrrha. I'm... I'm sorry to hear that. I'm... I'm sure she was a great mom.

Pyrrha: (Sniffles) She was the best. And, on the bright side, because of her, there's a new standard for huntsman and huntresses to follow. And she's part of the reason why I became a huntress. So I could make sure everyone follows the standard. Follows the example she set. (Smiles) I think she would have liked you.

Jaune: (Looks at family photo) I think I would have like her, too.

Fun Fact! In the first ten years of the 20th century, until her death in 1907, the Champawat Tiger, also known as "the man-eater" killed and ate 436 humans in western Nepal. She evaded capture and continued to kill until she was shot by British hunter Jim Corbett, who speculated the tigress lost her teeth years ago from a gunshot, forcing her to change her prey to much easier humans. He then went on to be an advocate for wild tigers and spent the latter years of his life devoted to their conservation, even having a conservation park in Nepal dedicated to him.

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

The Birdcage

Jurassic Park: It's Ironic, by Meig of A-Dinosaur-A-Day

What follows is a retelling of the Jurassic Park story, mainly based on the 1993 film, with portions of the original novel used to supplement the story. The main point of divergence occurs when the park is unable to find workable nonavian dinosaur genetic material for cloning, since - as in the real world - dna degrades much too rapidly. Instead, the park consists only of extinct dinosaurs that can be brought back - birds from the last 2.5 million years. What happens after that is, as Ian Malcolm would say, an emerging pattern.

Thanks to beta readers @plokool, @killdeercheer, and @otussketching! Thanks to logo artist @i-draws-dinosaurs for the killer logo! Happy 30th anniversary of the Jurassic Park film!

Fic Chapter Masterpost

Prologue: The Peck of the Raptor

Robert Muldoon had seen much in his forty-odd years on planet earth. A pride of lions tearing into the carcass of a giraffe. An elephant kicking an African leopard into the air. A swarm of hyenas attempting to hunt the wildebeest, only to flee in panic from their hooves. Nile Crocodiles and Hippos fighting over river space, with no obvious winners. Wild dogs hunting him, with coordination and planning he wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t seen it for himself. Indeed, if someone were to have asked Robert Muldoon if he had seen everything nature had to offer, he would be tempted to say yes.

At least, until today.  

It was a simple transfer operation. Take the new asset from the hatchery complex to their permanent enclosure. Introduce them to their new flock members. Try to not drown in the torrential rain, to hear each other over the violent wind. Remember that humans are warm-blooded and no matter how much the rain soaked to the bone, warmth would return. Go home in time for dinner.

The thought now, of course, made Muldoon snort out loud, though of course no one could hear him. Flock was the moniker the higher-ups had chosen, ages ago, but he knew flocks. This was no flock. Better, really, to call this grouping a pack. Not that it mattered. After this, Muldoon was certain of his course of action.

He had to recommend termination.

Everything had happened so fast. The loud calls of the other assets, anxious for their flock member far away. The container, raised to the pen entrance. Locked in, safety verified. The animal was silent, but they usually were during transfer. Muldoon had chalked it up to fear or hesitancy, though it was odd that it wasn’t calling back to the others. All workers were in their proper positions, so he called for the gate to be raised. And then, before he could register any of it, the asset had rocked against the container, shaking it loose. It managed to reach out, grab onto Jophery’s hand – the scream chilled Muldoon down to the marrow – and suddenly there was no more Jophery, apart from his second hand, grabbing for dear life to the side of the container. On instinct, Muldoon grabbed his hand, and pulled as hard as he could. Jophrey was still screaming, the other workers were shouting and scampering, alarms were blaring from the cage, a gun or two going off pointlessly. The asset, still, remained silent. It didn’t even bite, or claw, or crunch, or tear.

All it had to do was peck – at the temporal artery

Peck again – at the leg – near the femoral –

Peck again – on the neck – blood was everywhere –

A final peck, Muldoon couldn’t even see where, there were feathers and limbs and blood and screams and –

Jophery went still.

Only a few more seconds, and the asset was also down, multiple tranq darts sticking out of various places. Muldoon hadn’t even had a chance to insist on lethal ammunition, but there was no point now. The asset was neutralized. No one was in immediate danger. The alarms were still blaring, and Muldoon was starting to lose his hearing from it, as loud as it was in his ears. But he couldn’t undo Jophery’s grip – it had been so strong; it didn’t even need rigor mortis to lock in – and he found that the slippery blood oozing from Jophery’s neck and face down the arm weren’t helping matters. But Muldoon had been hired for this position for a reason – a few, actually – and he managed to take a deep breath, grit his teeth, and remove the hand from his.

Now he was walking, slowly, to his employer’s office, tracking mud and rain and blood down the hall with him. People were running, talking in hushed whispers, angrily arguing. He didn’t much care for these lab rats who never entered the tropical sun, never mind interacted with the very things they were working on. Even now, when their concerns should be one and the same, he heard mentions of rehabilitation, modification, and genetic integrity – worries from individuals who did not have blood on their hands refusing to dry in the humid air. So antiseptic they had removed their own humanity.

Muldoon couldn’t wait any longer. The image of Jophrey’s clouded eyes hung in his mind as he shouted into the hallway.

“HAMMOND.”

Ray Arnold stuck his head out from the control room, eyebrows raised over the rims of his glasses. “Hammond isn’t here. Shouldn’t you be getting cleaned up?”

“We have to shut it down.”

Arnold sighed, “You know he won’t do that, Robert.”

“This is the third worker.”

“Yes, but –“

“Third. If you think officials across the water will ignore it at this point, you’re out of your god-damned mind.”

“People die on construction projects, Rob. All the time, in fact.”

“Their corpses don’t usually come back littered with peck marks.”

“We’ve managed all crises up to this point. Hammond insists on moving forward with this asset.”

“All because his impossible pet project didn’t work out, we have to insist on these uncooperative, murder-minded –“

“They’re no more murder minded than a lion or a wolf.”

“Says someone who has never interacted with any of them.”

Arnold sighed, fidgeting with his tie. Muldoon had moved to face him directly, but Arnold continued to look at his computer screen, the lines of code reflected in his glasses.

“I’ll talk to Hammond. If we can’t even get them in the enclosure, maybe it is time to pull the plug.”

“Finally,” Muldoon spat out, “Thank you.”

“Uh-huh.” But Arnold was already back at his computer, not even facing his torso towards Muldoon. So Robert turned and walked back, through the hallway, muddy bloody footprints showing his short journey down the hall and back.

It was time to call up another family.