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piracytheorist · 1 month ago

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In Life, And in Death (1/11)

Fandom: Spy x Family Word count: 4.1k for this chapter | 32.4k in total Rating: T Warnings: Temporary character death, graphic violence, horror imagery, body horror, mild gore, whump, language Cover art by @buf309

Summary: Anya is kidnapped, and Twilight is thrown into the horrors of a mysterious, deadly village. Forced and then choosing to survive its trials - physical and mental - he's brought to figure out who he truly is. (A Resident Evil Village fusion)

AO3

Author's Note: Probably my most insane fanfic project yet. After I successfully probed SOMEONE, aka @spencer-is-someone, into watching a Resident Evil Village gameplay, they fell in love with Ethan Winters but felt he went through too much in the game, prompting the idea "What if Loid went through all that stuff instead". And well, 32 thousand words later, here I am, inflicting this literal horror upon y'all.

I made a post about it, and the absolutely wonderful @buf309 went and made this amazing cover art, and I literally couldn't be more thankful for that. I was so amazed when I saw the first draft sketch that I went like I'M GONNA WAIT TILL IT'S READY TO POST THE FIC. Seriously, words cannot describe how grateful I am, I sincerely hope the fic feels satisfying enough for the work you've done <3

If you know how the Resident Evil Village story goes, this is pretty much the same... yes, in all of its "parts-in-jars" glory (if you know you know, if you don't you will soon), just with Twilight taking the place of Ethan Winters. There will be a few changes from the original story to fit Twilight's character, some to facilitate the adaptation from game narrative to fanfic narrative, some to fit my own tastes, and an actually hopeful ending because we were all left heartbroken after the ending of RE Village so might as well pour some healing juice to put our hearts back together same way Ethan puts his limbs back together and hope for the best.

Do take note of the warnings, please. There is one part of the story I actually had chills while writing (yes, that part for those of you who know, it will be slightly changed but the essence will be the same) and it is based on the story of a horror/survival game, so make sure you're okay to read something as intense as this.

The story is written in full, though I'm still doing small bits of editing here and there. I don't have a posting schedule, but I'm thinking of updating twice a week, or once if I see the editing is taking longer. Chapter titles are taken from track titles of the game's original soundtrack.

So yeah, long intro over, take not of the warnings, I hope you enjoy if you read on!

Chapter 1: Bloodthirsty

“Anya, don’t sit so close to the TV,” Loid said, not looking up from the counter.

Unsurprisingly, there was no response. He wouldn’t doubt that she hadn’t even heard him, let alone acknowledged his request.

He picked up a handful of minced meat to mould into a burger steak, deciding to give her another reminder in two minutes from now. Yor had just left to walk Bond, so it was only his direction she had to follow – and she was starting to make clear whose directions she preferred to follow nowadays.

He placed the burger on the pan as his body tensed. A split second later, the door burst open.

He jumped through the opening between the kitchen and the living room, but even that seemed a pointless blessing as thick smoke quickly covered the apartment.

He rushed through it to grab Anya, who trembled against him, but he didn’t have the time to move away from the shots.

Two silenced shots, piercing through his clothes and reaching into the skin of his back.

No blood. But they were pinching his skin, and he immediately felt groggy…

He dropped to his side, unable to move as figures approached him. One of them took Anya.

“PAPA!” she screamed at him.

He feebly raised his hand. “Wait,” was the only thing he could say, before his hand dropped.

More figures approached him, and then his vision went dark.

Focus, Twilight.

Don’t open your eyes yet. Don’t alert the enemy yet.

He held his breath for a moment.

He was somewhere cold, outside.

He could feel something soft but freezing underneath him. Snow?

His hair didn’t feel wet, so he mustn’t have been lying there long.

It was quiet. He could only hear distant sounds of wind and crows flying somewhere close.

He couldn’t feel anyone’s presence, so he decided to open one single eye to check.

But then both his eyes shot wide open.

In front of him stood a magnificent gothic mansion. It could be a mansion, or it could be a damn castle. It was surrounded by a thick wall, like a fortress.

He sat up. He was indeed lying on the snow, but it was the least of his concerns right now.

He had apparently been placed on the castle’s garden. Right in the middle of the winter, it was only decorated by a few naked trees as well as three scarecrows.

Those didn’t seem to do their job well enough, he thought, as crows still flew around, some even sitting on them.

He got up, checking himself for injuries. He couldn’t feel any pain or any indication of pierced skin. How had they drugged him?

It was then he realized he was now wearing his jacket.

Had they dressed him for the cold? While taking off his apron and the gloves he wore while preparing food?

What the hell?

Where even was this place?

Why was he brought here?

Where was Anya?

His attention was drawn back to the apparently useless scarecrows, and a chill ran down his spine – unrelated to the cold – when he noticed something eerie about them.

Carefully, he took a few steps towards them.

His breath caught in his throat when he was close enough to notice.

Those weren’t plain scarecrows.

Those were actual, human bodies hanging on wooden crosses.

His breath finally came out shaky, forming a cloud.

What the hell was this place?

Unable to quell his curiosity, he stepped closer, trying to notice for any details on the bodies, in case he recognized them.

All three seemed to be men, of ages between thirty and fifty, and they couldn’t have been dead for longer than a week or so. The cold might have preserved their bodies, but exposure to the outside would do as much more damage.

He couldn’t recognize any of their faces – or what was left of them.

Well, he didn’t even know where he was, how far away from Berlint or even in Ostania for that matter.

He clenched his hands into fists and turned around, looking around the walls surrounding the castle.

There was a huge metal door blocking the path outside. No climbing the wall; it was too smooth and covered in even more slippery ice. Climbing the trees wouldn’t give him enough height to swing himself out.

Which meant, his only way of getting answers was through the castle.

He must have been placed there for a reason, after all, and if they’d wanted to kill him they would have already done so.

He reached the entrance, and the door swung open easily.

The entrance hall was as luxuriously decorated as the outside hinted at. A lush burgundy carpet went up the few steps, leading to a wall where a painting of three young women hung.

The door closed behind him, and he didn’t miss the definitive clang as metal bars started descending right in front of it.

He turned, and for a few seconds he weighed his options.

He could break the door quickly enough before the bars descended too low, and slip outside.

But then again, they obviously wanted him in there, and again, it didn’t seem that killing him was their priority.

He faced forward, ignoring the sound of the bars trapping him in there.

He might as well play their game.

He walked to the painting. Underneath it was an inscription that wrote “Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra.”

Which one was which?

The women on the painting didn’t seem too different from each other. The painting itself didn’t seem all too enlightening, either; it looked like any common Romantic-style oil painting.

Well, it wasn’t going to give him any answers, would it?

He turned around, walking down a corridor and out into another, larger hall. He noticed how warm the whole building was, despite the freezing weather outside and the apparently old construction of the place.

This hall had hanging, lit candles all over the walls, though they couldn’t be the source of the heating. The lighting was low, but lucky for him, he’d been trained enough in low lighting for that not to be an issue.

He jerked back at the sound of a swarm of flies coming his way, then he sensed someone’s presence.

Flies, he could handle.

But then the flies started gathering together, and within seconds they morphed into three women, dressed in black hooded cloaks.

“Wha—?” he whispered.

“Looking for Anya?” a voice said, and he assumed it’d come from one of the women. Who had just formed from flies.

The absurdity of his situation almost made him forget that she had just mentioned Anya.

Which meant they probably knew where she was.

However, he was too shocked by the sight that he couldn’t move when one of the women, all of whom were cackling, approached him and pushed him backwards.

She swung the scythe she held in her hand, and he pulled his legs away just before she could bury it in his calf.

“Oh, he’s feisty!” the woman said with a wide smile.

Her arm then almost zapped through the air, and his left leg was exploding in pain before he could even register the movement.

He yelped in pain as she leaned closer to him and took a long sniff.

Her mouth and jaw were covered in blood, though her blond hair looked pristine clean.

“Mmm, man-blood,” she said.

She then leaned back and started dragging him, by the scythe embedded in his leg, as he still lay helplessly on the ground.

She was too fast. He flailed around, trying to grab at anything they passed by to make her stop, even though that would mean the scythe would rip his entire leg open, but then another woman reached his other side and buried her scythe in his right leg.

He threw his head back, biting down another yell of pain.

Could he just have one moment?!

The women dragged him down another corridor and into what he quickly realized was a bedroom. They removed their scythes, and he quickly reached to assess the damage, when he heard the blond woman say “Mother, I bring you fresh prey,” as she pointed at him with her hand.

“You are so kind to me, daughters,” came a voice of a woman who sounded older than them.

Older, and bigger.

She was sitting on a massive chair, holding an equally massive glass of red wine. She took a sip from it, then stood up and turned to him, saying, “Now, lets take a look at him.”

He raised his head to look at her.

And then raised it higher.

She had the build of a muscular woman, with curves proportionate to her height, which must have been about three meters tall. She wore a black wide-brimmed hat over her chin-length black hair, and a long white dress that reached down to her feet, though she moved comfortably in it.

“Well, well. Loid Forger,” she said. “Came looking for your daughter, I presume?”

He sat there, frozen.

They knew who he was – or at least pretended to be? And they knew Anya was also taken?

She walked closer to him, smiling as she put her hands on her hips. “For you to think you can waltz right in here—let’s see how special you are,” she nearly purred.

She threw her hands up in a sign for something, and two of the younger women said “Yes, mother,” as they grabbed his arms and pulled him up.

His first thought was that he was standing up surprisingly well for just having had two scythes ran through his legs.

His second thought was terror as one woman grabbed his hand, and the other produced a very sharp-looking knife.

Before he could jerk back, she sliced his palm open.

He bit back a grunt; it wasn’t a deep cut, but it would be annoying…

His last thought trailed off as the tall woman reached down, grabbed his hand, brought it to her lips… and started sucking.

Now he really was frozen in terror.

What the hell was this nightmare?

The woman pulled her head back, licking at her lips with a blood-soaked tongue.

She threw his hand away. “Hmm,” she said. “Still fresh, but only barely.”

He wrapped his hand into a fist, keeping it close to his chest.

“Then let’s devour his man-flesh quickly, mother!” one of the women said, handing a handkerchief to her.

“But I’m the one who captured him!” the blond woman protested.

“Now, now, daughters,” the tall woman said, patting at her lips with the handkerchief. “First, I must inform Mother Miranda. But later, well, there will be enough for everyone.” She threw the handkerchief aside, smiling down at him. “Put him up!”

The young women surrounded him, and though he struggled, they were too strong for him as they put heavy manacles on his wrists.

A thick build, but he could break out of them with little effort.

But then, they secured a chain to them, and the chain started going up. He was lifted off his feet, and started grunting as the full force of his weight fell on his wrists.

Don’t say anything. Don’t let them take a hold of any weaknesses.

He clenched his jaw, keeping his voice from making any sounds as they headed out of the room. The tall woman had to bend to get through that door, and one of the young women – the second one who had stabbed his leg – bent down and picked up the discarded handkerchief, smelling the blood on it and laughing, as she followed them.

Breathing hard, he looked up at the manacles.

The pain was intense but manageable, though he already felt the tingling of numbness in his fingers. By his calculations, he had about fifteen or so minutes before cut blood circulation would start causing permanent damage.

Escape, first. Then you can freak out.

He grabbed the chain and dragged his body up. Though his legs were still bleeding, he brought them up so he could hold the chain between his feet.

He was gasping by the time he managed that, but at least he had less pain on his hands and a better view of the manacles.

They were old and rusty, but seemed to have a fairly standard locking mechanism. Bringing his body closer, he fished the lockpick out from a hidden pocket of his jacket.

Biting his lip, he worked through the lock of the right manacle. Just as it opened, his feet slipped from the chain and dropped down, causing all of his weight to drop onto his injured left hand.

The pain knocked the air out of his lungs.

Think! Think! Pull yourself together!

Taking in a laboured breath, he looked back up.

The lockpick had slipped from his hand and was now too far down for him to get it. His right hand was free, but he didn’t have any other options left.

Reaching up, he wrapped his free hand around his left thumb, and with a sharp pull, he dislocated it.

As his other hand was coated in blood from the cut, his wrist slipped through the manacle as soon as his thumb wasn’t in the way.

He dropped to the ground clumsily, not managing to balance his landing.

Wheezing, he looked at his left hand.

Bleeding, and a dislocated thumb.

He gave himself ten seconds.

Ten seconds to wonder where the hell he had gotten himself into, what that tall woman even was, standing at three meters tall and drinking blood, and what her ��daughters” were, emerging from flies and also participating in… blood drinking? Cannibalism?

Ten seconds, and he was back to himself.

Focus, Twilight.

He looked at his legs – they were still bleeding, but he felt confident he could stand on them. Though those scythes looked sharp, they must have split a tendon or two apart.

At the corner of the room stood a vanity table, and on top of it, along with various cosmetics, lay a small green bottle with a cross on the label.

He stood up carefully, glad that his legs weren’t trembling. He picked up the bottle, carefully reading the label.

Medical alcohol.

Not one to trust this place that much, he opened the lid, and sure enough, it smelled like ethyl alcohol.

He sat down with a grunt, pulling his right trouser up. He didn’t have any clean gauze, so his only option was to pour liquid right over the wound.

He braced himself for the sting of pain, but instead, the liquid brought a cool, numbing sensation.

And then, right in front of his eyes, his wound closed then disappeared completely.

He stared at it.

Ten more seconds.

What the hell.

He looked at the bottle again. Medical alcohol, it said. It smelled like it too.

He looked back at his leg, raising his other trouser where the other wound still stood.

What the hell?!

Uncertain, he poured a little less liquid over that wound.

The wound immediately stopped bleeding as new skin seemed to form, though it didn’t heal completely.

He let out a breath. If he were honest with himself, this wasn’t really the weirdest thing to happen in the last few minutes, was it?

He turned to his mangled hand. Just how much could that liquid heal?

He poured an equal dosage to it, and was still surprised to see his thumb painlessly slide into its place, as well as the cut close completely.

Well, at least it could be useful.

He didn’t have time to worry over the supernatural. He had to get out of there, and find out where Anya was.

He took the path of unlocked doors, as he didn’t want to waste time and noise trying to break the lock of every locked door he found. Breaking the windows wouldn’t lead him anywhere – each one was sealed shut, and though he wasn’t averse to turning into a hooligan for the sake of escaping, the entire castle seemed to be surrounded by that wall.

He needed to get to a higher floor, but the safest and most silent path led him to the basement, where he found himself walking along piles and piles of dead bodies.

He had to hold his breath as he passed them by; apparently the occupants of the castle had the habit of feasting on the blood of humans, and did it so often that the amount of bodies was too big to act as decoration for their garden.

It was all men, however. As young as twenty-three, from what he could gather with a quick look.

The fly-women seemed to be confident enough in their hunting that they didn’t take away the handgun from one of the more fresh bodies. Twilight couldn’t tell if that was a police officer, a soldier, or a man aware of what he’d been dealing with, but it didn’t matter to him. He undid the holster, as gently as he could out of respect of the deceased man, and he put it on under his jacket.

He checked the magazine. Ten bullets out of sixteen.

He looked at the man. Had he shot those first six bullets right before he was killed?

The man had a shoulder bag on him, and inside was a box of bullets, a total of forty. He slid that too over his own shoulder.

He kept the safety on the gun on, but held it in his hand. He picked up a hunting knife from one of the other bodies and walked on.

As the bodies thinned out, he found a lone skeletal figure draped in a plain canvas cloak. The limbs stood out, bare, emaciated, and rotting. While other bodies were in a similar state of decomposition, they were fully clothed, at most with a few rips in their clothes. This one was the only one so bare.

And it was holding a scythe in its hand, old and rusty in comparison to the women’s scythes, but still sharp enough to do harm.

He approached it carefully, keeping both hands on the gun.

He thanked his training for that, as the figure moved when he passed right by it.

He yelped in shock, moving away from it and raising his gun at it.

“Stop!” he said. “Don’t move!”

The creature, whatever that was, didn’t seem like it listened let alone register his words. It stood up, hunched over, then lunged at him with the scythe.

Not finding any alternatives, he shot right at its head.

The creature jerked back as a screech left its mouth.

Twilight held his breath.

His blood froze when he saw it still stand on its legs and try to swing at him again.

He shot again. He was perfectly certain the bullet got through its head.

Yet the creature moved again.

And he shot again.

Only now did the creature finally drop to its knees, but it was still screeching and growling.

Desperate, Twilight took the knife and drove it through the creature’s skull, three times, until he felt it stop moving.

It collapsed on the floor.

Hell knew if it would rise again. It was supposed to be dead already, wasn’t it?

He turned around and ran.

There were more creatures on the way. Some he slashed at with the knife, some he shot at, some he simply ran away from. A few managed to nick him with their scythes, and if he were honest, he was more worried about infections than the injuries themselves.

As he found a quiet corner, he pulled out the alcohol – or whatever that was. It seemed to work on the nicks too, making them close quickly and painlessly.

He supported himself on the wall, forcing his breath to calm down.

He had to get out. Now.

Holding the gun tight to his hand, he moved to leave, but then a buzzing and a voice sounded from behind him.

“Hmm. Warm, bright, red blood.”

He didn’t turn to look at her. He knew it was the blond woman.

He made a run for it as flies swarmed around him, until he found a staircase going up, reaching into what looked like a kitchen area.

“Where are you going, little one?”

The woman appeared right in front of him, cutting off his path. She was smiling at him, surrounded by flies, her face still stained with blood.

“I just want to find Anya,” he managed.

“Aw,” she said. She then pushed him back and he fell on the ground. She lay over him, reaching at his neck and biting.

Yelling, he took the gun and fired twice at her stomach.

She reached up, laughing as fresh blood ran from her lips.

He shot at her head.

“Your bullets cannot harm m—”

Her voice cut off when another of his shots passed through her and hit the window behind her.

The glass cracked, and it quickly shattered as a cold gust of wind blew into the room.

The gust threw the woman’s hood off her head. Twilight tightened his hold on the gun when he spotted a massive, fleshy scar on her temple, a bald spot from her long hair.

The woman shrieked, then growled. Her skin, already pale as it was, seemed to start cracking and turn grey. She looked at her hands, still gasping in pain, and then turned to him, yelling, “You stupid man-thing!”

His mind finally picked up the pace. The cold made her weak?

He stood up, raising his gun at her.

“How dare you bare your teeth at us!” she shouted, then lunged at him with her scythe.

He managed to block her attack, pushing her back, and he shot at her face.

She groaned, still standing, but she said, “What? My body—it’s breaking…”

He kept his gun up. “Just let me go,” he said.

A wild rumble came from her mouth as she turned to attack him again. She reached him, and he could only block her at the last moment, his arms taking the full blow of her scythe. “Give up!” she said, reaching back for another swing of her weapon.

He shot twice at her head, and she yelled again.

The flies seemed to drop in numbers, and her skin cracked more and more. He barely managed to avoid two more of her attacks, and then she fell on him, ready to bite his head off, he supposed in the split second it took him to kick her off of him.

He shot two more times.

“This can’t be,” she said, weakly now, her body swaying.

“Let me go!” he repeated, taking two steps back.

She screamed and reached back with her scythe, and he shot again.

And then a sizzling sound came from her body, as she started swinging wildly, not reaching anything. She groaned and groaned, and her body transformed.

It seemed to calcify into gravel, as she slowly stopped moving, her hand still up in a pose of attack.

And then it broke down.

Whatever it was, it cracked into small pieces, and what started as the form of a woman was now a pile of something on the ground.

Breathing hard, he leaned his back on the wall behind him and slid down to the floor.

His hands were trembling, his feet felt like water.

What the hell was all that?

Were was he?

Why was he brought here?

And where was Anya?

What were those creatures…?

He closed his eyes. Ten seconds. Just ten seconds to freak out.

He just had to get out. Find Anya and…

He opened his eyes, his throat tensing.

Did he really have to find her?

As far as he was concerned, right now she was a liability to him. He had to prioritize his safety first.

It wasn’t like there were piles of bodies of dead girls around, was it?

Letting out a deep sigh, he stood back up. The woman had managed to hurt him a little, but the healing liquid was in short supply and he could handle those injuries up to a point.

The woman. Who was now a pile of ash.

Calm down, Twilight. Get yourself in order and find a way out.

The castle proved massive, and he couldn’t find any viable exit paths even as he seemed to reach what looked like hallways reaching into bedrooms.

Then, a mournful scream sounded from a floor below.

“What have you done to my daughter?!”

His blood chilled. If the “daughter” had been that vicious, he didn’t want to face whatever her mother had in store for him.

#piracytheorist writes #Spy x Family #sxf ff #sxf fanfiction #ilaid #lmao that's a funny acronym #I SHOULDN'T BE POSTING SO LATE BUT I'M ACTUALLY A LITTLE EXCITED LOL

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renshengs · 2 months ago

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hmm i do think that danmei and dangai (censored danmei cdrama adaptations) being many non-chinese fandom people's first impression of chinese media has given them some misconceptions about mainstream chinese media, and it shows in a way that i find very frustrating when seeing discussions about cdramas on here. dangai dramas aside, even if government censorship didn't exist, the chances of your favorite cdrama gay ship becoming canon is about as high as the chances of any of those iconic homoerotic male friendships in a western TV show becoming canon. which is to say: extremely low.

what i think is that internationally huge danmei fandoms like mdzs and tgcf and drama adaptations like cql and shl have really fucked with people's conceptualization of danmei, in that they're using it as this reference point when analyzing relationships in all other forms of cn media, including cdramas and chinese games, which then manifests into people making very bold, very dubious claims about "queercoding" because 2 characters from a random cdrama reminds them of the one or two danmeis they'd encountered that shaped their entire perception of chinese media. basically it's this meme:

many people here need to understand that cdramas and chinese films are obviously mainstream forms of fictional media in china, just like how the mcu or the doctor who franchise is mainstream in the US and UK, or like shonen is mainstream in japan. not to burst your bubble of happy ignorance, but homoromantic relationships such as qingming/boya from the ying yang master are—for lack of a better term—fujobait. they are fujobait. bromances, because those sell well and everyone knows it. popular ships like bakudeku were not actually made canon in mha because shonen is mainstream, and in most industries geared toward maximizing capital, having full-on gay people front and center is considered a monetarily risky move. which sucks, of course, but china is absolutely no different. i promise you that if the govt removed their censorship laws for TV broadcasts, your favorite gay ship from mysterious lotus casebook or the blood of youth or fangs of fortune still wouldn't be canon. they might be allowed a bit more intimacy due to the lack of restrictive filtering, but they are not going to be sucking face for the same reason that gojo and geto from jjk didn't suck face.

danmei is still widely considered niche and risky in china, and if you haven't seen the recent news, authors are still getting arrested for writing it. assuming that chinese fiction, mainstream chinese fiction in particular, operate like dangais where the two guys with the most gay tension would be made explicitly canon were the censors to be lifted, is frankly pretty ridiculous. dangai dramas are adapted from danmeis, which are stories centered on a gay romance and narratively depend on the two guys falling in love. non-dangai dramas are very much... not that, hence why people shouldn't watch them expecting a censored danmei and then forcing assumptions of "my ship would be canon if only it weren't for censorship" on them.

it's very clear when someone who knows absolutely nothing about the actual situation with danmei and queer existence and mainstream TV censorship in china is trying to push their, if i put it crudely, "boss baby meme" perspective onto cmedia. fandom is all about poking at interactions between your favorite characters and giggling and speculating, but i think lots of fandom people (many of them safe in the pockets of their more progressive areas) view govt censorship as this big abstract dam that, if broken, would result in the canonization of all their favorite ships, which is not only an incredibly naive belief but also one that shows how much they view TV censorship as more of a personal inconvenience that's preventing their favorite ships from kissing on screen instead of the looming, deep-rooted issue depriving mainland chinese people of creative freedom it actually is. with cmedia fandoms there's a specific widely popularized "they're so gay omg how did censorship not notice" gag when there's any perceived homoromantic undertones in a story that's both rather insensitive and also ignorant, and many dangai and cdrama fandoms in particular (donghua fans too, link click shippers i'm looking directly at you) could really use some more education and sensitivity regarding this.

i've been in danmei & cdrama fandom spaces for years and post-pandemic this kind of nonsense has definitely gotten worse, especially when you compare shipping discussions here to shipping discussions in cn fandoms. here every 2 seconds someone makes an off-color censorship joke about tgcf donghua and over on douyin they are straight up commenting under the nezha sequel announcement post if there's going to be an oubing kissing scene. granted i obviously cannot see or know everything going on in cn fandom spaces because they are incomprehensibly enormous, but in all the spaces i've been in i've never seen a single censorship joke from anyone. why do people here absolutely insist on making them?

anyway. fandom be normal about chinese media challenge!

#messy ramble post. if any of this is incoherent just climb into my inbox #for what it's worth. none of my favorite cdrama gay ships are canon EXCEPT for the dangais and i don't need them to be. why would i #imo there's a difference between being like haha this is just like that danmei trope vs “[obvious fujobait (affectionate)] is REAL”#sheng says stuff #cdramas #danmei #fandom #fuck it. mass tagging for once #mdzs #tgcf #word of honor #the untamed #mysterious lotus casebook #the blood of youth #fangs of fortune #nif is a special case where the original novel was going to be a danmei before the author changed her mind. still not really canon tho

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sister-lucifer · 10 months ago

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Genre: Smut

Summary: Tim is dazed and confused after wandering through these cursed woods for who knows how long, when he encounters a mysterious figure on the dark waters of the lake.

Content/Warnings: Male reader, frottage, oral sex, the story is from Tim’s POV, the siren is referred to with it/its pronouns, some mystery/horror/unsettling elements, the siren has a prehensile penis, masturbation, attempted/near drowning, underwater ejaculation, it’s left up to interpretation whether or not this actually happened or was just a hallucination, sort of hypnosis I guess? Not really sure what to call it but use of siren song powers

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out.

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated.

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors.

Tim isn’t sure how long he’s been walking. It feels like the night has gone on forever, his boots caked in mud from hours of wandering without any vestige of an intended destination. He isn’t sure how long he’s been in these god forsaken woods at all. His frustration and anger have long since melted away to exhaustion, the endless trees silently mocking him as they watch him struggle to pull himself towards a freedom he cannot see. This entire plane of existence is a cruel, horridly sentient monster of phantasmagorical insanity built to break the minds of any who enter, and he can feel the cracks starting to grow throughout his tortured psyche like a starving parasite threatening to encompass him fully.

It feels like his body is rotting.

Like the muscle is sloughing off the bone with every move he makes, joints aching and falling apart as he forces himself to keep going. The night air is thick with the heat and humidity of the summer, threatening to suffocate him with every inhale. Sweat clings to his clothes and his body like a heavy blanket that only serves to weigh him down even more.

He’s not sure how much he has left in him.

Everything looks the same, nothing but trees in all directions for impossible distances. He hasn’t even seen another animal, no sign of life beyond the green. He’s starting to lose his vision, sight blurring and distorting in the kaleidoscope of leaves that the moonlight filters through.

Finally the burn in his legs forces him to come to a stop. His chest is heaving when he falls to his knees, desperately trying to catch his breath. He doesn’t have time to stop.

He’s still for only a second before the raging swill of his thoughts becomes far too loud for his comfort. They scream at him for his foolishness, for his stupidity in getting himself lost this badly, in walking right into the waiting maw of the stalking creature he’s been running from like a lobotomized rabbit to the wolf. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

The ringing in his ears gradually subsides as his breathing levels out. He pushes down his emotions in favor of keeping himself calm; panic will only doom him further. He has to stay in his right mind if he ever wants to get out of here.

Then, a sound pierces through his clouded mind like the sharpened point of a needle. A sound, finally, other than the noise of his boots on the grass and his heavy breathing.

Water.

The sound of water lapping at the shore.

He’s managed to wander his way to the lake.

He stands so quickly he nearly falls over, looking around as he discerns where the sound is coming from. He turns to his left, then to his right, ultimately deciding on the former. His walk quickly turns into a frantic sprint.

The noise gets louder, calling to him that he’s chosen the right direction. He runs faster. The green is starting to thin, he can see something getting closer, he is so damn close—

It takes everything in him not to collapse under the weight of his insurmountable relief when he emerges from the trees to be greeted with the reflection of the moon on the water.

He rushes to the shore, nearly tripping and tumbling down the bank as he makes a frantic dash for the lake. He stops at the edge, kneeling and pushing his hands beneath the surface, gasping softly when the cool water runs over his hands.

It’s real.

He’s not imagining this, it’s real.

A gravely but triumphant laugh bubbles up from his throat as he basks in his victory. Finally, finally he’s freed himself from the prison of trees, even if he hasn’t found his way back home. He cups the water in his hands and takes a drink, not caring to even consider how dirty the lake might be; that doesn’t matter nearly as much as the cool relief that washes over his dry throat. He splashes a bit of water on his face for good measure, soaking the front of his jacket and granting him some reprieve from the hot, muggy night air.

For a brief moment he debates taking a swim, but quickly shoots the idea down. The lake is vast and dark, he doesn’t trust it enough to let it engulf him entirely. Not to mention the idea of swimming with such a sore and exhausted body isn’t very appealing.

He looks up and around, thinking that surely there must be some way to cool off without taking the plunge. His eyes land on a wooden dock some ways away, not too far of a walk.

…That’ll work.

He makes his way over to the dock, stepping onto it cautiously to test its strength. It creaks a bit, but gives no real protest as he walks down its length, stopping to sit down at the end. He unlaces his boots and sets them at his side before stowing his socks away inside them. He rolls up the legs of his jeans before allowing his feet to dangle over the side, the water reaching up to soothe his sore calves. He lets his head fall back when he sighs with relief, finally allowing himself to relax. He moves to lay back on the dock, folding his hands over his stomach and taking a deep breath.

Finally, a fucking break.

No, it doesn’t solve all his problems—he’s still stuck here, after all—but Goddamn is it nice to finally be able to breathe.

For just a moment, everything is peaceful. Tim even lets himself forget the hell he’s trapped in at present, focusing instead on the feeling of the water gently cooling his legs. It’s nostalgic, almost—reminds him of when he used to sneak out to the pond behind his house to drink with his high school friends. It’s a fleeting comfort, but an appreciated one nonetheless.

He lays still there until the frantic thudding of his heart slowly reduces itself to a steady beating, until the ringing in his ears quiets fully and he breathe without a struggle. He feels much lighter now that there’s not so much strain on his muscles and joints. He even lets himself close his eyes, just for a moment, the stars shining on the backs of his lids before fading into the dark.

He debates going to sleep right here. It’s not a good idea, no, but it’s a tempting one, and much more appealing than sleeping in the dirt. He’s too open here, though, too exposed; he couldn’t hide in a timely manner if the need were the arise. No, no sleep yet, no matter how badly he needs it. Just rest.

Just enough rest for him to keep going.

That’s all he can safely grant himself at the moment.

And for now, that’s okay.

Just this brief peace is enough after the ordeal he’s been put through.

He focuses in on his breathing, counting his breaths as he inhales and exhales slowly, keeping the rhythm steady as he takes in the gentle quiet of the surrounding world that, for once, has gone still, relieving him of the heavy burden of survival…

…Only for the sudden sound of something splashing into the lake to jolt him out of his calm.

His eyes shoot open and he sits up so quick he gets a bit lightheaded. He looks around, frantically trying to find the source of the sound and preparing to grab his boots and make a run for it. He stops when he catches sight of…something that has settled on top of a rock in the middle of the lake.

He pauses, squinting through the fog that has now settled over the water.

Was the fog always there?

Could it have moved in that fast?

Damn, how long has he even been here?

He pushes the questions away for now, too focused on trying to discern what the hell he’s looking at.

Then, as if it can feel his eyes, the figure move. Tim can’t see it very well, but he too can feel it staring back just before it dives into the water.

“…What in the fuck?” he mumbles, unable to conjure any other response.

What the hell was that thing?

Couldn’t have been a fish, but it didn’t look like any waterfowl or turtle he’d seen. A gator, maybe? No, unlikely—too fast and too damn tall to be a gator.

He looks down at his feet, his legs still submerged in the water.

He really should pull them back out. No telling what that thing was.

He should leave all together, in all honesty, he needs to keep moving…

…So why won’t he?

He swallows hard, eyes cast down at his still legs. He kicks them in the water a bit, but can’t bring himself to pull them back out. Surely by now he should have enough willpower to pull himself away from this…

He winces a bit as the ringing in his ears suddenly returns with an acute fervor.

No, wait…not ringing. Some other high pitched noise, something more melodic that starts to melt into the ambience.

…Music?

No, it can’t be, but he isn’t able to come up with any other name for it, especially with the fog that’s suddenly thickening in his mind, clouding his thoughts like the mist on the water clouds his vision. He rubs his eyes and looks out over the water again. The figure, that creature is gone, and the rock it was perching on is rapidly fading away into the fog.

This is bad. He has to get out of here, right now, before something terrible—

He gasps, nearly jumping out of his skin as something splashes in the water a short distance to his left. He looks over quickly, but all he sees is the ripples on the surface left behind by something diving down into the lake.

There’s no doubt about it now.

Something is in the lake, and it’s getting closer.

He tries to make his body move, to get up out of the water and onto the dock, but he’s frozen. The more he tries, the more his mind screams at him to do something, the louder the music gets. echoing in his brain and drowning out any voice of reason. The sound is clearer now, a high pitched vocalization carrying a tune that feels so familiar, like something out of his childhood dripping with a viscous nostalgia that clogs his throat and sticks to the back of his teeth.

Something splashes again, but with the operatic voice forcing its way into his mind he can’t discern which direction it was. All he knows is it was closer.

Tim scans the water frantically, but the fog has covered the everything. He can hardly see ten feet in front of him. It feels like the cloudy mist is closing in on him with a purpose, with intent, like this was planned.

His heart nearly stops when he looks down at his feet, only to see a glowing pair of eyes looking back at him from just beneath the water.

He flinches, but can’t bring himself to pull back. He’s frozen, like something is holding him in place and forcing him to keep eye contact with this creature. The music is the only thing he can hear. The noise of the crickets and the water and the wind are completely gone, completely overtake by the singing.

Tim watches, completely mesmerized as the creature slowly rises, breaching the water’s surface with wildly unnatural grace. Tim’s eyes widen in shock and awe as more and more of the creature’s form is revealed, its body revealed to him inch by inch, allowing him to take it in.

The creatures skin is an unsettling greenish-grey, with pulsating gills that gasp softly on the sides of its torso and neck. Its impossibly long hair, tangled with leafy plants, creates a curtain around its face that hides its visage in shadows and cascades down its shoulders and into the water, as if it goes on forever. Tim’s eyes trail downward towards where the legs should be, but he finds none. Instead, the creatures body fades into iridescent scales that reflect the moonlight in a kaleidoscope of colors that swirl in his brown eyes. Anything beyond the top half is hidden by the dark water, but he can imagine what those scales become below the surface.

He should be running.

He should’ve been far, far away by now.

He’s not as afraid as he should be.

Why isn’t he afraid?

He doesn’t have time consider the question before the echo of the singing starts to quiet down. It doesn’t go away, no, but it’s morphing into something else…

Tim watches as the creature swims closer, webbed hands reaching out to grasp his thighs with an unexpected gentleness. He sucks in a breath at the creature’s cold touch, the water on its palms soaking through his rolled up jeans. He realizes now that it’s closer that it’s humming, the soft sound buzzing in its throat with the same tune as the echo of the singing before it.

The humming is far more soothing than it has any right to be. Tim should be fighting this thing off, pushing it away as it leans in to hum right into his ear, its scent of lake water and fresh plants filling his nose, but he can’t. He just can’t.

The creature’s skin is cool and soft against his own, wetting his cheek with the water clinging to its hair and face. Its chest brushes his for a moment, and he shudders, though not with disgust. His mind is swimming, completely melted into a useless sludge that refuses to form a thought. He knows he shouldbe terrified right now, he should be running for his life, but it’s getting harder and harder to articulate why.

He breaths deeply, inhaling the creature’s earthy scent as its ghostly voice seeps into the deepest recesses of his brain.

Oh, God…

That feels good.

He can feel the creature, the siren slowly stripping him of his defenses, peeling the armor off of his carefully guarded psyche piece by piece, and he doesn’t know how to stop it. He’s not sure he wants to stop it. The sensation of his will being broken down, chipped away at by a skilled hand with a chisel of forged steel that leaves no room for argument; it’s almost comforting.

Tim has spent so long fighting…

…Why shouldn’t he just give in this once?

The thought rattles around his skull and echoes in such a way that he’s aware it wasn’t entirely his idea, but he doesn’t care. It’s a beautiful epiphany.

His vision is starting to blur. Most of his senses, in fact, are dulling at what should be an alarming rate. The only thing left in tact, maybe even amplified, is his ability to feel.

The siren’s touch is intoxicating.

He’s starting to lose himself.

Tim shudders as something warm and wet slides over his neck, moving in a manner that is far too articulated. The siren pulls back, licking its lips, and for a moment Tim thinks he can see it mouth the word ‘delicious.’

The siren leans in again, this time for a slow kiss on the lips. Tim is stunned at the gesture, but can’t stop himself from kissing back. It’s almost a subconscious action, a base instinct activated by the siren song buzzing in his head.

The kiss is far from brief, but it doesn’t last nearly long enough to satisfy Tim. He leans forward to try and follow the siren as it pulls away, but it pushes him back with a gentle hand and a cheeky grin. It playfully wags a finger, silently scolding him with only a look from those piercing eyes.

The siren starts to move lower, and for a moment Tim is afraid it’s about to dive back into the lake, never to be seen again, but instead it stops once it’s at eye level with his groin. Tim sucks in a breath, which only makes the siren’s grin grow wider. Tim catches a split second glance of the shiny teeth that are kept behind its upturned lips.

The siren’s webbed hands slide inward from where they rest on Tim’s thighs, lazily meandering to the buckle of his belt. The siren’s humming doesn’t cease for even a moment as its nimble fingers slip his belt from the buckle and then from the loops of his jeans with an unnatural grace. It sets the belt to the side on the dock, right next to his boots, making it clear that Tim won’t be needing it anymore.

Tim’s breath hitches when the siren pulls his zipper down, moving slowly but with intent. It’s teasing him, he realizes in a fleeting moment of clarity, making him wait for whatever it is it knows he wants. His eyes trail down as the siren tugs his jeans down just a bit, enough to expose his half hard cock as it pushes against his boxers. He didn’t even realized how turned on he was.

Tim bites his lip as the siren’s agile tongue unfurls from its mouth to lick over the bulge in his boxers. He shivers, barely biting back a moan. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but no words come; there’s only a brief stammer before his lips close again, the eyes of the siren drawing him into silent submission. It hasn’t looked away from his face this entire time, refusing to release his gaze. It holds eye contact even as it leans in again, this time latching onto Tim’s hardening bulge with its lips and suckling it through the fabric of his boxers.

This time Tim can’t stop the noise that falls from his mouth, a choked sound of pleasure that would surely be humiliating if he had any sense left. Right now all he can think about is how badly he wants more.

The siren’s hands move again, upwards this time, towards the waistband of his boxers. It hooks its claws beneath the fabric and pulls downward slowly, just enough to release Tim’s now throbbing, needy erection from its confines. He sighs with relief at the feeling. He didn’t realize until now how badly he needed that.

The siren wastes no time wrapping its tongue around Tim’s length, and this time there’s no stopping the shuddering moan that crawls up his throat. The siren’s tongue is impossibly long, moving with complete control as though it were another limb; it leaves no spot of Tim’s cock untouched, coating every bump and vein with the siren’s cool, thick saliva. Tim’s thighs tremble as he watches the creature pleasure him shamelessly, its tongue coiling around his twitching member and sliding up and down the entirety of his length with intent.

The siren has stopped humming, unable to do so with its mouth occupied, but its song still echoes in the trees around them, keeping Tim docile and needy.

Hesitantly he reaches up, his hand shaking like a leaf in the wind as he moves it towards the siren. For just a moment a look of intrigue flashes in the creature’s eyes, but it quickly morphs into smug satisfaction as Tim’s fingers find themselves nestled into the siren’s hair.

The siren’s tongue retracts suddenly. Tim’s eyes widen as a question begins to form in his mind as to why, but it’s promptly stamped out when the siren wraps its lips around his cock and sinks its mouth down on him without hesitation. Tim nearly screams, crying out in shock and pleasure before choking on his own voice. The gills on the siren’s neck flex and breathe as his cock is pushed down its slick, invitingly warm throat. The cavity welcomes him happily, as though it was molded to fit his cock perfectly.

Tim’s fingers twitch as his grip tightens on the siren’s hair, silently begging for more. The creature complies, running its tongue up and down his length without so much as coming up for air. It uses every part its mouth and throat to stimulate his length with a sharp focus.

One of the siren’s hands slides off of its resting place on Tim’s thigh. It trails down his leg before leaving his body completely, dipping down into the water. Tim follows it with his eyes curiously, watching as the siren reaches down to lightly rub at a spot on the front of its tail. Tim quirks a brow, but quickly realizes what’s happening as the scales part to reveal a fleshy slit, a sheath from which what Tim can only assume is some kind of inhuman cock slides out. It’s visibly slick, almost slimy, and moves much like the siren’s tongue. He can feel the creature let out a soft noise around his cock as it wraps its hand around its length. It’s pleasuring itself, Tim thinks, pleasuring itself to him.

The siren’s free hand grasps onto his jacket for balance, keeping it upright as it floats in the water. It’s found a steady rhythm in the way it bobs its head up and down on Tim’s length, slowly pulling back and pushing forward just as the water laps at the shore in a lazy but constant manner.

Tim’s head falls back as a sudden wave of pleasure washes over him, making his entire body shiver with chills. He wouldn’t be able to take much more of this.

As if sensing his impending release, the siren’s pace increases. It doesn’t become vigorous or messy, only faster, swifter and even more calculated. The siren seems hyper aware of every move it makes, every muscle it flexes in its mouth and throat to make sure Tim never feels less than the utmost sense of bliss.

Tim can’t hold back his voice anymore. The soft mewls and desperate moans spill from his lips like a waterfall of debauchery that only seems to fuel the siren’s passion. Tim can’t see it with his head thrown back, but he can hear the splashing of the water getting louder and faster as the siren pumps its own cock with more fervor.

Tim’s back arches, pushing his cock into the siren’s mouth. The creature takes him so deeply its nose brushes his stomach, but it makes it seem so effortless. It knows exactly what it’s doing, and it’s working far too well. Tim doesn’t have much longer.

“I’m…I-I’m about to—“ he stammers, struggling to get the words out or even put together a coherent sentence.

The warning is a trigger for the siren. It pauses suddenly, processing the words for only a moment before it pulls off of Tim’s cock so quickly it almost hurts. Tim jumps and gasps, but doesn’t have even a split second to react before the siren grabs onto his shoulders and pulls him down into the water with it.

He thrashes in the creature’s hold, but the siren’s tail wraps around his ankles and squeezes tightly. He tries to cry out, but his efforts are punished with a mouthful of lake water that firmly halts any attempt at screaming. The lake around them is nothing more but a dark, merciless void of water without any sign of life. The only light is the dim shine of the moon that pierces the surface of the water and the glowing eyes of the siren.

Tim pushes against the creature’s hold, but it doesn’t budge. It leans in for another kiss, a rougher one that Tim fights this time, but not for long.

It’s an odd sensation, the feeling of air being forcefully pumped into his lungs from the siren’s mouth, but it lets him breathe. He can’t complain about that.

In the next instant the siren’s cock has wrapped around Tim’s, picking up right where it had left off on the dock. Little time was lost, and before Tim knows it he’s already nearing dangerously close to his release once more. He doesn’t dare pull aware from the siren’s lips to warn it, though. Surely it knows.

Just as he’d figured the siren’s length is slimy, almost tentacle like, sticking to Tim’s own cock as it writhes in coils around it. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before, making him whimper into the kiss with a need so great it’s overwhelming. The siren isn’t immune to the pleasure either; its gills and scales ripple with its impending climax.

The siren wraps its arms around Tim, gripping at his hair and the back of his jacket as it holds him in place. It’s so desperate to keep him against it.

Tim cries out into the kiss one last time before his body tenses, his climax hitting him like a truck as his cock twitches and spurts into the water. The siren lets out an odd noise, almost like a dolphin’s chitter before it follows suit, its length pulsing around Tim’s before releasing as well, the iridescent liquid hovering in the water before fading away into the darkness below them.

The siren’s cock quickly retracts, unwrapping from Tim’s softening length and pulling back into its sheath. It’s as if it were never there, the parted scales moving back to hide the slit once again.

The siren slowly pulls away, looking down at Tim with an odd expression. It’s not quite a smile, but it carries a sense of self satisfaction and mischief.

Tim expects to be let go, even kicking his legs a bit to loosen the grip the siren’s tail has on them, but the hold only tightens. Tim kicks again, trying to pull away, but this only earns him more restraint yet again. The siren pulls him into a deadly hug, slotting his body against its own and wrapping itself around Tim.

Suddenly its touch is no longer soft and welcoming. Its claws dig onto Tim’s back and shoulders through his jacket, which only serves to amplify his panic. The siren squeezes him, forcing the gifted air out of his lungs. He can only watch it escape to the surface as bubbles, unable to retrieve it.

His thrashing increases tenfold, but he’s tiring fast. The lack of air combined with his exhaustion and now the siren’s humming in his ear once again is disorienting him. He needs to fight, but his body is rapidly losing the will to do so. He’s only a man, and a man has limits.

He resists the urge to gasp as water starts to leak into his mouth. He’s losing strength by the second, not only from his body straining but also from the siren’s song draining his energy. His panic turns to pure terror as the black spots start to fill his vision.

The siren won’t let go.

He can’t fight anymore.

This was a trap.

This was all a trap.

He’s going to die here.

No, no, no—

The water is filling his lungs rapidly now as his fear overrides his rationality. He’s screaming as much as he can beneath the surface of the lake, using the last of his strength to fight, but he knows it’s pointless. It’s only bringing more water in. His vision is darkening fast, and soon the little sliver of moonlight he had is gone. All he can do is listen to the sound of the siren’s humming, but then that is starting to fade out.

No, no, no, no!

Please, God, no…

But God doesn’t come to help, and the siren’s song is barely audible as Tim’s body stills and goes limp.

This is it.

He’s sinking into something dark, now, something beyond his consciousness. It’s an indescribable feeling, but an absolute one, one that speaks of eternity and a horrible permanency.

For a moment he’s aware of his own fate, his own death…

…And then he’s coughing up water onto the sand, the bright morning sun burning his eyes.

He turns over into his side, getting onto his hands and knees as he forcefully hacks up the lake water in his lungs.

The fresh air is a godsend, quickly pushing the water out and taking its place. Tim can finally take a deep breath without drowning.

He’s back on dry land, and alive…

…but how?

He’s still dizzy, he doesn’t dare stand up yet, but he does look around in confusion. The sun has finally risen, that much is obvious; it’s warm and bright on his face, almost jarringly so. He can even hear birds chirping in the trees above him. The woods have suddenly come to life, but what feels like only an hour ago it was completely devoid of anything living.

Did all of that…really happen?

He has no idea.

He looks down at himself and realizes he’s still missing his shoes, socks, and belt. His jeans are still rolled up to his knees, and his clothes and hair are completely soaked, as evidenced by the water that drips down his forehead, legs and hands. The zipper of his pants is still down, exposing the black fabric of his boxers.

His missing clothes are nowhere to be found next to him on the shore.

Slowly his eyes trail down the lake to the dock. He squints as he looks closely, searching for the proof that that thing was real…

…And there they are. His boots, socks still rolled up inside, and his belt, sitting at the edge of the dock.

Right where he’d left them.

He stumbles to his bare feet, trudging down to the dock to retrieve his things. His boots and socks are shockingly dry, but that’s certainly not a bad thing. It’s a small comfort that he more than deserves.

He slips them back on, they looks down at his belt. For some reason, he hesitates to pick it up. He makes himself lean down to grab it, though, and takes a moment to inspect the leather in his hands.

It’s untouched. No sign of damage or wear and tear at all.

He sighs as he zips his jeans back up and pulls the belt through the loops, fastening it back in place around his waist.

He’s going to chock this up to this goddamned forest screwing with him. He has to if he wants to keep his mind from breaking in two. It’s the safest, least insane explanation he can give to himself. It’s the only thing he’s prepared to hear.

The ache in his legs returns as a dull thrum as he resigns himself to continuing his journey. It’s painful to leave behind the solace of the lake, to walk away from the soft sound of the water, but with the day’s light he’ll surely be able to find his way out of here.

He takes in a deep breath, internally psyching himself up before he dives back into the endless trees.

Only, this time, they don’t seem all that endless.

Almost instantly the sound of grass beneath Tim’s boots turns into the crunching of a rocky path. He looks down in confusion, eyes landing on beige, rocky dirt that definitely isn’t a natural formation.

The trail.

He’s found his way back to the trail.

His eyes widen as he follows the path into the trees as far as his eyes can see.

Finally, his endless effort is being rewarded.

He eagerly starts onto the trail, resisting the urge to run until he collapses. He has time, he reminds himself. The trail is a loop; he’ll get back home sooner or later.

Finally, he’s free from the terror of these woods. Whatever entity that was keeping him trapped has released him, and he’s not going to question it.

When he gets home he’ll flop down onto his bed, not even considering changing out of his filthy clothes before he does so. He’ll stare up at the ceiling with teary eyes as he thinks about how happy he is to be back home, back where it’s safe and comfortable.

Inevitably his thoughts will wander back to the creature he encountered, or perhaps imagined; it’s not exactly something one easily forgets, after all.

But for now, he’s going home.

And that’s all that matters.

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#marble hornets #masky #tim wright #masky x reader #tim wright x reader #male reader #siren reader #masky smut #marble hornets x reader #marble hornets smut #horror #slenderverse #monster reader #slenderman #the operator #tim masky

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acesw · 4 months ago

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Knowing our Arcanists 13: Matilda

Welcome to entry thirteen of my series: "Knowing our Arcanists"! This is a series in which I introduce and tell the stories of our fellow characters in Reverse: 1999. Today we have: Matilda!

We love our girlfailure in this house. I think Matilda is heavily mischaracterized by the fandom, mainly defined by her silly tangents about Sonetto. But I think there's a lot more to her character than what we first see, so lets get started.

Matilda Bouanich is a French arcanist born in the 1990s. The arcane skill that she was born with is a variation of divination, well known as scrying or crystal ball divination. A young girl with a competitive spirit, Matilda is an incredibly active individual who takes pride in her abilities as a Foundation Investigator and Monitor Assistant.

She hails from the wealthy and famous Bouanich family, who are a long line of arcanists known for their divination skills. At a young age, she was an excellent performer in school and continuously worked to being the best of the best. After seeing one of their parades at the time, she decided to join the SPDM to prove her abilities despite being past the typical enrollment age.

She was able to move up levels and rise in ranks, becoming part of the top 3 students that performed well academically among her peers. Her prideful demeanor is fueled by her never-ending passion to compete against those above her, but most especially the school's top student at the time: Sonetto.

Sonetto was a student that Matilda especially admired, because she wanted to match (and even surpass) her in academic performance and skill. She worked endlessly to compete against her despite it being one-sided in nature, but always fell short due to her own arrogance. Over time, this competition became chase, with Matilda mostly wanting to find a reason to see and even befriend Sonetto.

At the same time, Matilda occasionally longed for the freedom she once had when she was younger, with having experienced the world outside before. Knowing that some of her classmates also yearned for it, she shared it with them under the familiar oak tree.

Despite it, Matilda chose to stay behind when the other kids planned their escape, since she had chosen to be confined within the white marble in the first place and didn't want to forsake the opportunity she was given. Perhaps she lived with the regret of not joining them, or with knowing she had an indirect hand to their downfall, but she could do nothing but move forward.

Once graduating she held onto her competitive and prideful demeanor, yet had to swallow some of it after being faced with not-so-ideal promotions. Her first mission in Mor Pankh greatly helped her move up and teach her about limits. Shamane, Kaalaa Baunaa, and Kanjira helped her learn the further extent of divination and what she could do with her scrying. And after her mission in San Francisco, we leave at a mysterious note where she's met with the disappearance of her own mother.

I think its been emphasized enough that Matilda has a lot of pride and ambition that its fundamental to her development as a character. Its her driving force in life and its the sort that never really goes away as she always wants to outdo whoever becomes her competitors. Its a great way for her to motivate herself when she's against all the odds.

However, this also tends to come to a fault where that pride becomes arrogance, and makes her often have shortcomings. One example would be her never being able to best Sonetto in school or always failing to confront her properly due to being easily flustered around her.

Neither Matilda's pride or her arrogance makes her a mean person. If anything, she's actually very kind and understanding, especially with her friends. Even if she struggles to swallow that pride when she has to, she wouldn't want to risk hurting her friends in turn. She's fully aware of the extent of hurt that the people around her experience, and wishes to help them in ways outside of her scrying abilities.

This ambition to compete may be rooted from her experiences growing up, where she rarely had much attention from her parents and other family besides when she performs academically well, and losing the only person (her grandfather) who really paid attention to her up until he passed away. Even then, she continues to have a lot of love for her own family and hopes to be able to protect them as an investigator.

Over time and meeting more guides and friends, Matilda will keep learning as she grows up. Perhaps with it she'll be able to achieve what she's always wanted to do, and easily surpass not only her friendly competitors, but also the enemies she'll face later on.

#reverse 1999 #knowing our arcanists #matilda reverse 1999 #matilda bouanich #the girlfailure that girlbossed too close to the sun #if she had no defenders im dead

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pookie-mulder · 1 year ago

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My Holy Grail Fics

After the past several months of reading TXF fic, here are some of my ultimate faves so far! I’d love to know what your holy grail fics are, as well. This fandom is full of incredibly talented writers!

(Also, if have any recommendations of fics you think I’d like, send them my way!)

The Boy on the Beach by @cecilysass

I read this entire thing yesterday. Ooh boy was it a page-turner! Time travel in fiction can get dicey, but this one handles it so well. I love how the time travel plot forced M&S to confront themselves and their pasts in order to better understand each other and move forward in their relationship.

Gaslight by @sisterspooky1013

This one should come as no surprise to you. It’s rare that a fic consumes my every waking thought and I spend every free second reading as much as possible, and boy, this fic delivered. I’m such a sucker for stories like this one where the character(s) don’t know if they can trust their own minds and have to really dig deep inside themselves to find the truth.

Pause by @cecilysass

Similar concept to Gaslight as far as the amnesia goes, but totally different vibes! I love the dramatic irony of the reader putting together the pieces before Scully does. It’s agonizing in the best way!

Fall Into Place series by @skelavender

My favorite WIP fic! I look forward to reading the newest installment every Friday. I adore the slowburn, UST, teetering-on-the-edge-of-something-more MSR, and LT is the master of it! This series is filled with heart-squeezy moments that make me feel like I’m melting into a puddle of goo.

X-File #02291996 by @skelavender and @7crowsinadress

Time loop my beloved! Such an interesting (and 🔥🔥🔥) take on this trope. I can’t wait to see where it goes!

Arizona Highways by Fialka

I’m always down for an Emily AU, and this one has such a compelling, angsty twist and an air of mystery that forced me to keep reading late into the night!

Tempest by MissyPennington

I love a good survival story! There’s something so delicious about two people leaning on each other both physically and emotionally to keep going. The follow-ups are incredible, too!

All That Is Dark and Bright by @malibusunset-xf-blog

Amazing Emily AU! Dad!Mulder is my weakness. Plus, I love the way they figured out how to treat her illness. It really felt like something that would happen in canon.

I’ve Got You Under My Skin by cuits

Beautiful soulmate AU! Only M&S could have literal, undeniable proof they’re soulmates and still overthink their relationship to a ridiculous level. And I ate it up! Give me the angst! The drama! The tension!

Emily AU by skuls

Last Emily AU, I swear! This series melts your heart in the first installment, crushes it to pieces in the second one, and then makes everything better in the finale.

Update 7/16/24

Here’s some more!

Blinded by White Light by @dashakay

Omens by lepusarticus

Heuvelmans’ On the Track by The_Mythopoedic

Finding Rokovoko by prufrockslove

Belphegor’s Prime by prufrockslove

#thanks to LT for recommending like half of these and converting me into a longfic enjoyer #txf #the x files #fanfiction #txf fic #msr #dana scully #fox mulder #holy grail #mine

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homestuckreplay · 4 months ago

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Today Is A Gift, That’s Why They Call It The Present: Who Is Jade Harley?

Character Deep Dive 4 – 11/26/2009

Jade Harley, the silliest and most unknowable of Homestuck characters. Jade’s first pesterlog appearance was way back on page 110, and her existence and involvement in forces beyond our real world comprehension has been teased ever since – but it took hundreds of pages and months of real time waiting for Jade to finally become a point of view character. Just like with Rose and Dave, what we learn from Jade’s pesterlogs isn’t a complete picture of who she is. Jade is excitable, bubbly and supportive in her conversations, aware that she’s seen as mysterious and working to cultivate that. As a point of view character it’s harder for Jade to maintain her own mystery, and we see a fuller spectrum of her emotions, as well as a picture of her day to day life. In many ways Jade’s life is easier than her friends’, but she has a few of her own challenges.

Organized by the list of Jade’s interests given on page 789, here’s a discussion of what we learn about Jade during the early part of act 3. It's about 5k words below the cut and only covers up to page 916 of Homestuck.

1 - You are an avid follower of CARTOON SHOWS OF CONSIDERABLE NOSTALGIC APPEAL.

Jade doesn’t spend a lot of time on this interest, but she surrounds herself in it by falling into her plushy pile before she uses her computer. She has posters on her walls for Squiddles and Green Slime Ghost, both of which were invented internally to Homestuck, unlike John whose bedroom posters are all for real world media. Jade also has a large number of Squiddle ‘Tangle Buddies’, and a squiddle and (blue) slime ghost are symbol options for her shirt.

Owning so much merchandise, Jade clearly isn’t embarrassed by this interest. As Rose’s shirt is a doctored Squiddle, Rose may have previously shared this interest, but moved on from it – Jade describes these shows as ‘nostalgic’ on both page 789 and 790, so she’s trying to hold onto these articles of her youth. They also give the sense of an eclectic taste; as they’re unfamiliar to the reader and no wider fandom is established for them, they feel like cartoons found only on budget TV channels or dusty corners of the internet. MS Paint Adventures being the only modern media we see her consume only enhances this.

Jade’s nostalgic media extends beyond board games, as her fetch modus options are common childhood board games. As well as retaining these childlike interests and playfulness, Jade is described by the narrative as ‘silly’ – a silly girl with silly antics and a silly name (p.760), a silly flute refrain (p.769), an awfully silly idea (p.774), and a silly girl with silly fortune telling knickknacks (p.802). As well as setting up a contrast between Dave (regularly described as ‘cool’, which by some logic is an antonym of ‘silly’), this feels like it diminishes her importance, casting her actions as entertaining but ultimately meaningless. Between pages 838 and 860, the story flips back and forth between the peril of Rose’s imminent meteors, and Jade whose only goal is to feed her pet.

There’s a surface impression that life is easy for Jade. She has a large, comfortable house, a sylladex she’s confident with, a guardian who she doesn’t hate and isn’t outright cruel, toys, space, safety from danger, mastery over all her own hobbies. From day one, John had to struggle with sylladex mechanics and retrieving his own arms, but Jade is unaffected even by the inconvenience of stairs, and is later shown as having more knowledge than the player. It almost feels like she’s spoiled by the narrator with this easier existence, which isn’t necessarily good for her, just like being spoiled by a parent might not be good for a kid. Ultimately, if there’s no sense that Jade needs to learn or overcome anything, she becomes less compelling – so I’m invested in noticing where she has room for growth.

2 - You have a profound zeal for marvelous and fantastical FAUNA OF AN ANTHROPOMORPHOLOGICAL PERSUASION.

In addition to her cartoon show posters, Jade has two pieces of furry art on her walls, plus a picture of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff as furries. This of course was a gift from Dave, the friend Jade sometimes discusses her furry tendencies with. These plus her FurAffinity account show an enjoyment of the furry aesthetic, but her relationship with being a furry is complicated, and something she adopts far less uncritically than her other interests.

Jade insists that she does not have a fursuit as they are ‘raggedy synthetic tufty piece[s] of crap’ and that dressing up like an animal ‘seems ridiculous’ (p.802). We don’t learn whether Jade has made a fursona or makes furry art of her own (vampireprincess007, the FurAffinity account Jade is looking at on page 834, doesn’t seem like a username she’d pick), but we get a sense of the ways Jade distances herself from the furry community. She thinks of combining the ‘finest qualities’ of humans and animals, wishing for ears and a ‘proud snout’ to ‘assist… in the hunt’. She also seeks a ‘more visceral sapience’ that is ‘untouched by the concerns and burdens of the upright’ (p.797). When she imagines being an animal, she wants to ‘run wild’ or ‘purr and frolic’ (p.802).

Jade collects Manthro Chaps, dolls with assortments of human and animal body parts who may have hands and flippers, snouts and mustaches. They have human names and attend events such as balls, need vaccinations, and take care of bodily needs in animalistic ways. Much like Jade’s desire for animal senses and experiences, Jade’s Manthro Chaps are a true physical merging of the human and animal. Jade does not want to wear the trappings of an animal if she can’t also have that biological change, and if she can’t develop that instinctive behavior of eating bugs, hunting, and losing the language and inhibitions of human existence.

Jade has a pet named Becquerel who is also her ‘best friend’ (p.791), and while we don’t know his species, it’s possible that spending so much time with him has fed into the desire to live like him. He also may not be a regular animal – both Dave and the narrator refer to him as a ‘devilbeast’ (p.382, 800) and he eats his steak not just well cooked, but irradiated. This could also be why her rifle’s ‘cross-hairs would never settle on an innocent creature’ (p.790). Jade is likely an animal lover in general, as she has this deep and considered understanding of how it must feel to be a different creature, and is very in touch with the natural world.

3 - You have an uncanny knack for NUCLEAR PHYSICS, and not infrequently can be found dabbling in RATHER ADVANCED GADGETRY.

Jade’s forays into gadgetry are all over her room, and she’s downplaying her own skill with ‘rather’. So far we know about Jade’s Wardrobifier, Atomic/Electic Bass with portable amp, Sonar boxes transmitting her music into the atrium, Cookalizer, Refrigerator, and Lunchtop. Her house also has several Transportalizers, although their designer is unknown. Jade’s orb and spire bed, the atomic cabinet beneath her room, the strange flat window device whose design she borrowed from her grandfather, and a host of other objects on her gadgets table are unknowns but it’s clear that just like Rose with her knitting, Jade is prolific, dedicated and puts a lot of time into her hobby.

Jade doesn’t feel constrained in the design of her technology. Sometimes she uses squares and cubes like those in the Skaianet labs, sometimes she’ll play on common designs by giving a refrigerator a rotary interface or adding extra heat settings to a cookalizer, and sometimes she’ll invent something with no relation to existing tech. Jade hits all the design notes – smooth and sleek vs greebled, futuristic vs retro vs encased in a lunchbox – so she’s willing to try different things.

We learn that for Jade, ‘experimentation is not a particularly exact science, and [she] lean[s] heavily on SHARP INTUITION for consistently and eerily optimal results’ (p.790), so she’s basically living the scientist’s dream of fucking around without having to find out. It’s a lot easier to take risks and experiment with an intuition that guarantees success. To what extent does Jade understand the theoretical principles of nuclear physics? When she can’t get something to work, like right now with the window device, what’s her troubleshooting process like? Is she used to working through this emotionally? Jade did claim to have worked on a present for John ‘for years!!!!’ (p.442) so I think that even if Jade has an intuitive understanding of design, she still has to do the work to put these gadgets together, which can be time consuming and technically difficult.

Jade’s interest in gadgetry is tied to an interest in music. Like her friends she is highly proficient in an instrument, but Jade’s is ‘heavily customized to accommodate a high level of musical virtuosity’ (p.821) – its ‘advanced setting’ has two sets of strings and three keyboards, which Jade can apparently handle from a musical perspective. I think this is something she’s worked at, because when she attempts to play the flute, the narration comments, ‘Maybe you should try playing an instrument you actually know how to play instead’ (p.770). If Jade’s music was entirely based on her intuition, picking up the flute would be easy. She’s also limited by her own physical form; the advanced bass cannot be played ‘in person’ (p.821), so only having two arms and five foot something of height feels like a bigger limitation in this hobby than her brain.

Despite being generally competent with technology, Jade is surprised by its misuse, shocked and angry when carcinoGeneticist trolls her despite her blocking them and logging out. Jade is not a gamer, knowing Sburb by reputation but not by name, and saying that John and Dave are ‘way more into all that stuff than i am!!!!’ (p.442), and therefore she’s not immersed in the gamer culture that leads to cruel online behavior. It’s nice to think that Jade, despite being an internet user, has escaped the cynicism and hatred that is common online and has found positive spaces for herself.

Jade is a proficient sylladex user, easily mastering technologies she didn’t make too. While John struggles with remembering how many cards he has free, Rose doesn’t realize she can pull the leave instead of the root, and Dave has to use Y as a consonant to get the hash map to work, Jade is educating the player on correct sylladex management and can perfectly guess the memory modus on the first try. But this has limitations, too. Jade captchalogues a pumpkin on page 778 and by page 785 it’s vanished, so Jade’s sylladex isn’t a safe storage place. In fact, her house is a hotspot for other people’s strange technology as well as her own, which I’ll discuss more later. Additionally, there are some problems that Jade can’t solve with technology. Any issues with her grandfather, for example, or with her remote location. Jade sends a parcel several months before its delivery date (p.442) and receives mail via hot air balloon (p.822) but for some reason has never invented a disappearifier that could instantly take her to a friend’s house. Despite her many talents, she remains stuck at home.

4 - You enjoy sporadic fits of NARCOLEPSY;

Jade is sleeping when we first meet her, so this is technically the first interest we see her engaging in. And the word ‘enjoy’ is crucial here. Most people do not enjoy their medical conditions, and regularly, uncontrollably dropping off to sleep can cause serious problems, but Jade treats this like many intentional nappers do, slumbering ‘peacefully’ such that it’s ‘a shame to wake her’ (p.760).

Jade doesn’t know the details of her condition. When she wakes, it’s sudden and ‘as usual, [she] ha[s] no recollection of having falling asleep’ (p.768) and in a conversation with Dave, he asks ‘do you even know if you are [asleep]’ (p.829). Jade is driven by impulse and intuition, and doesn’t question those impulses much. In a more extreme example, she doesn’t question her sudden falling asleep in inconvenient circumstances, but figures out how to work around it.

When John takes a rooftop nap between battles, Jade’s silhouette appears in his dreams (p.644) and when he wakes, she tells him ‘i really think you need to wake up first!… not literally, well ok maybe KINDA literally!!’ Jade’s connection to sleep goes beyond her narcolepsy, and she places importance on sleeping, waking, and possibly the balance between the two. Jade is defined by her faith in a higher power, so she probably trusts this same power with deciding when she should move between sleeping and waking. It’s also likely that Jade’s orb and spire bed has something to do with this interest.

It’s not possible for Jade to be woken with the player’s cursor (p.762) but it is possible to both put her to sleep and wake her up while she’s playing the flute (p.769) by pressing the Z key – which highlights how quickly she sleeps and wakes, because any other button has her bouncing right back up.

Sleep is crucial for health and relaxation; gardening and gadgetry both involve some manual labor, and Jade valuing sleep ties in with her enjoyment of nostalgic television, lying down in a pile of dolls, and carrying fresh fruits and vegetables. Despite her exterior silliness and forgetfulness, there’s a strong sense that Jade has internalized her grandfather’s lectures, and knows how to take care of herself and her pet – she cares about health and safety, and even though she programmed an ‘explosion’ setting on her cookalizer, she refuses to use it. Having such state of the art technology helps with taking care of herself, but it still takes work, and by cooking steak for Bec Jade is the only kid who’s helping with personal and household maintenance. So, Jade’s enjoyment of sleep stands in for a more general understanding of daily necessities.

5 - your love of GARDENING transcends the glass confines of your ATRIUM;

Long foreshadowed by her chumhandle, when we caught our first glimpse of Jade on page 665, she was already surrounded by her plants. Jade grows a variety of fruits, flowers and vegetables, and doesn’t have much concern for their typical growth conditions. Peas, for example, grow best in a cooler climate, while squash likes it hot and humid, but Jade has these next to each other. Jade’s vegetables are best suited for temperate climates while her citrus fruits prefer things more tropical. Some quirk of Jade’s atrium or gardening methods means she doesn’t have to worry about this.

Gardening is another hobby Jade has tied to her gadgetry. When Jade plays her bass, it transmits sonar into her garden atrium, causing the plants to grow rapidly. It’s possible that these speakers are amplifiers for Skaian technology, and turn Jade’s house into a beacon, and a target for appearifying pumpkins. Some of Jade’s plants are ordinary, but her fruits have faces and are able to bounce around on the table (p.812). This is uncommon for us, but to Jade these are just regular fruits. This could be another effect of the sonar, or more generally, of the environmental conditions on the island. We know that volcanic activity creates a geothermal power source on Jade’s island (p.801) and can guess that mystic activity surrounding the frog statue creates a similar Skaian power source. And that places her as the (0,0) coordinate that all Skaian technology gravitates towards, and is maybe even the ‘default location’ for technology such as appearifiers.

Jade has plants in her bedroom, but she also has a large, four-wing garden atrium dedicated to this passion (p.780). It’s another big difference between Jade and the other kids that Jade’s interests are allowed to spill outside of her room. Her grandfather does control the aesthetic of most of the house, but giving Jade the garden atrium leads to a slightly more balanced relationship between the two.

Gardening as a hobby is something that requires regular input, something where results can’t always be seen right away, something imprecise as it involves living things that will behave surprisingly, something very messy, and something historic, engaged in by humans for millennia. Much like sleep, it links to the idea of routine, as plants often need watering on a set schedule. Plants are a way of providing food; especially on a tiny island where packages take months to deliver, Jade’s gardening must play a big part in keeping her healthy and alive, so again this ties into Jade’s responsibility for herself. Jade won’t hunt animals so this is her way of being a provider.

Jade is also connected to the messier, more unpleasant sides of nature. The player temporarily names her ‘Farmstink’, she will happily ‘squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants’ (p.775), she’s delighted by the Manthro Chaps with their slop troughs, and she cares for a pet, which is always messy business. Clearly Jade isn’t afraid of getting her hands dirty, and understands the messy realities of giving life.

6 - and you are at times prone to patterns of PRECOGNITIVE PROGNOSTICATION.

Seemingly affecting all aspects of her day to day existence, Jade has spent her whole life tapped into a source of esoteric knowledge. Broadly, this gives her the ability to know certain events in the future, intuitively understand various games and technology, and possibly to understand the fourth wall and her place within a story. This ‘interest’ in prognostication is really more of an uncontrollable habit, and subsumes all Jade’s other interests, as it alters the experience of them so much.

Jade dispenses knowledge to her friends through pesterlogs, with varying levels of specificity. Jade has clearly given Rose a lot of information on their upcoming Sburb session – the fact that John and Rose begin play first, that it will happen on April 13, 2009, and that the game has the potential to revive the dead – and Rose describes her predictions as ‘frighteningly accurate’ (p.838). So she’s very honest with Rose, but maybe less so with John, as she gives him a vague ‘maybe this is your destiny’ (p.293) and asks him if he’s received a package when she knows he hasn’t. So not only does Jade have knowledge her friends don’t, but she’s careful about when to share it and with who.

Currently a lot of Jade’s visions involve gifts, which is funny because they don’t only relate to the present. In a flashback, Jade asks Rose about a different package, but gives Rose a future tip instead of sending her something – sharing her gift (as in talent) in place of a gift (as in present). Jade uses colorful reminders on her fingers to remember her own predictions, which is another limitation on her powers – predicting the future is great but it’s important to remember what’s been predicted, at the time it will be relevant. If Jade lost these reminders somehow, she might struggle to make sense of her predictions.

Jade’s visions appear specific in their timing and detail – at the end of conversations, Jade tells other people when they have to go, and sometimes tells them the reason (p.652, 838) although it’s uncertain whether she makes these predictions in advance or in the moment. Jade doesn’t only know that her friends will play Sburb, she also knows that Rose will lose her internet connection and that John will battle a pair of ogres – minutiae that are only available to the reader. And her predictions can understand people’s interiority, they’re not just visions from an outside observer - ‘you will have your questions answered, but they will be the ones you havent thought to ask yet!’ (p.838). Ignoring in-universe time, Jade’s predictions get more specific as the narrative progresses, so there’s a sense that she always knows slightly more than the reader or player and is staying one step ahead (even though this can be best explained by the author crystallizing their plans as they continue writing).

However, Jade’s predictions feel largely passive, always phrased like an unconscious understanding. She is a conduit for information, but there’s no sense that she could ‘choose’ to know the answer to a specific question, especially as she doesn’t know how these powers work. So if Skaia wanted to hide something from Jade or was itself incapable of knowing something, that would place another limitation on her abilities. We may have already seen this with the window device that Jade can’t get to work, despite gadgetry usually coming so easily to her.

Jade previously had an oracle’s trunk, but is slowly turning it into a gadget chest, as its contents were ‘completely bogus’ (p.802) – a crystal ball, velvet pillow, tarot deck, magic 8 ball, magic cue ball, and copy of Problem Sooth, mostly standard equipment for somebody interested in the occult. Jade dismisses the magic 8 ball as she has tested it against her own knowledge, but she is still superstitious about breaking it, suggesting a more general belief in supernatural powers, even while she sees them as inferior to her own.

Jade presents herself as all knowing, but she’s not sure why things keep appearing and disappearing around her atrium, she’s not sure why she falls asleep and importantly, she imagines John as ‘undoubtedly gallivanting around his house in a state of barely restrained birthday mirth’ (p.827) – so Jade’s knowledge is sometimes incomplete, sometimes inaccurate. But Jade turning her fortune telling chest into a gadgets chest shows that she sees her predictions scientifically, as more akin to understanding radiation or the atom than to tarot readings or horoscopes, without acknowledging the uncertainties that are still present in hard science. In fact, the way Jade talks about occult paraphernalia and fursuits are fairly similar. She is, or wants, the ‘real deal’ of everything, and doesn’t have time for what she sees as cheap imitations.

I believe that Skaian power breaks down the barriers between technology and reality, allowing creations such as Jade’s lunchtop, but also allowing Jade to see the fourth wall between herself and the readers’ computers. When we first meet Jade, she’s holding a note directed to the player, slightly offended that she will be/has been named Farmstink Buttlass (fair enough). Jade addresses the player directly during the ill-advised sylladex escapade where she gives a non-seer a chance to play the memory modus. She’s the first kid to refer directly to the author of the in-universe MS Paint Adventures - ‘looks like he was just finishing up some sort of weird tangential intermission’ (p.831), the ‘he’ presumably being Andrew Hussie. And Jade gains a sudden awareness that 413 years in the future while flying over the Pacific, the Peregrine Mendicant is asking ‘Don’t I know you?’ (p.900). Part of Jade’s prognostication involves knowing about all these different forces that are surveilling and controlling her, and being able to talk back. Jade is prepared to assert her dominance, whether that’s about knowing her sylladex better than the player does or frying PM’s command station with lightning because she doesn’t like being mind controlled. In this way Jade is more than a passive recipient of knowledge, she’s willing to look at the source of that knowledge and hold her own. Right now Jade feels like the most likely character to mess with the narrative itself – if she decides she wants to change something that’s predestined, it’s easy to see her arguing with the author directly.

7 - But you quickly realize this is only one half of your room, and is therefore host to only half of your INTERESTS to choose from.

This line from the end of page 789 is mostly a lie – the following page mostly recaps Jade’s previous interests, only adding her strife specibus and relationship with her grandfather. It is curious how Jade’s interests overflow from the page the same way they overflow from her room, the same way Jade’s introduction isn’t confined to her room and her existence spills out of the narrative. It gives the sense that Jade can’t be constrained by any force we yet know about. That’s a fun feeling – a wild card character makes everything more exciting.

Jade is a ‘skilled markswoman’ (p.790), owning four old fashioned looking guns. Two of these are long rifles for her riflekind specibus, and two are smaller and more portable. One is a hunting rifle, although it’s uncertain what Jade is hunting, as Jade’s ‘cross-hairs would never settle on an innocent creature’. It’s possible that she’s likely to encounter dangerous creatures if she leaves the house, or thinks she might in the future. Target practice is also a physical activity like bass playing or gardening, and one that can’t be taught through prognosticative powers, so it’s possible that Jade has honed this skill to have hobbies that take actual work, practice, and failure.

Although Jade claims to be a ‘great admirer’ of her grandfather’s (p.790), her actual feelings seem more complicated. He’s the person who taught her to hunt and lectures her on leaving the house without a rifle, but they differ ethically, with Jade really disliking the big game trophies he displays around the house. She especially dislikes his Typheus trophy, which he won’t move from the transportalizer even for practicality’s sake. Jade reluctantly supports his valiant knight collection, cannot stand his decrepit mummies, and seems confused by the Daughters of Eclectica, uncertain of why her grandfather likes them so much. Jade also describes her grandpa as ‘a little strict’ (p.772), giving ‘stern lectures’ (p.790), and especially ‘intense’ (p.382, 790, 916).

Like the other kid-guardian relationships, I think there’s a lack of understanding between the generations. Grandpa Harley has only been seen in silhouette, but from his home decoration, his monopolizing the grand foyer, and his apparent job title of an explorer-naturalist-treasure hunter-archaeologist-scientist-adventurer-big game hunter-billionaire, he comes across as someone bragadocious who likes to be surrounded by his own success and is in love with his own mythos, someone who has high expectations for Jade to live up to his own standards, and is controlling but in a hands off way. Needing to display so many of his achievements feels like he’s putting on the same act of coolness as Dave’s bro, but Grandpa cares about what was cool in 1909, not 2009. Jade’s grandpa has traveled a lot and been shaped by many years of adventuring, while Jade has likely never left the island or met many other people, so there’s a gulf in their experiences that’s hard to bridge. Jade can’t know what it’s like to live under the weight of her own history and celebrity, but her grandfather similarly can’t understand growing up in that shadow and in the expectations of eclipsing it.

If Jade is full on, excitable, a prodigy and a polymath, it’s clear who she gets it from. And Jade is maybe 50% between buying into the public image of her grandpa that he’s surely put across in media coverage, and 50% understanding the reality of him as a human being, the way somebody famous and star-studded can also be difficult, inconvenient, and make life harder when interacting on a day to day basis.

Final Thoughts

With a life much harder to relate to than John’s, Rose’s or Dave’s, I’m fascinated by what it’s like in Jade’s mind – to hold knowledge about the past, present and future all at once, to be certain what tomorrow will bring, and to communicate with an entity centuries in the future is a radically different experience to my own, and must really affect how Jade engages with the world. The main characters have gotten progressively weirder as we’ve been introduced to them in turn, but Jade is the only one to feel truly fantastical, guided by her powers as she is.

I can’t think of another piece of media that introduces characters so starkly, with no artifice, just a cleanly presented list of their interests. I love this framework; it paints an immediate picture of where these kids are in their lives as of April 13, 2009, leaving space for these interests to take on greater or lesser roles as the narrative progresses, but still shaping their perspectives and giving them texture from the first moment.

It’s also really interesting seeing the narrative work in introductions for these characters while the main story is still happening, allowing the new character space to explore without grinding the story to a halt. With around 75 consecutive pages, Jade’s introduction is much more leisurely than Rose or Dave’s, as they only had around 25 pages each. Slowly, and in narratively satisfying ways as Jade thinks about or talks to each of her friends, the other characters have been worked back in, turning Act 3 from Jade’s story into an ensemble piece.

As I get further into Homestuck, I’m finding myself with fewer burning questions, and more faith in the story’s method of revealing itself. But here’s the things on my mind as our fourth and final Beta Kid takes her place in the narrative.

What is Jade bad at? What are the skills that don’t come easily to Jade, or the everyday tasks where she struggles and makes mistakes?

Under what circumstances does Jade receive her knowledge, and in what form? Would she still have access to these powers in a different location? Is what Jade knows at all tied to what the player or reader knows?

Does Jade’s grandfather know about Skaia, and is this why he chose to live on this island, or is this coincidence? What exactly are his expectations for her, and what does he lecture her about beyond carrying a rifle and becoming a Daughter of Eclectica?

What does it mean for the narrative when a character knows more than the player? More than the author? How does an author even write a character like that? When does everything start falling apart?

Will these be our four main characters for the rest of the story, with WV and PM as secondary characters? Is this the end of major character introductions? Or are there more to come?

#homestuck #analysis #jade harley #collect the set! ive done all 4!#jade is pretty tough to analyze tbh! rose and dave were WAY easier for me at least #but writing this out definitely brought some insights! and new considerations!#chrono

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vyladerz · 4 days ago

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I don’t know what to say about season 5, I mean what can I say about the season that was apparently supposed to end the series.

I know going into it I was anxious to see how it would be able to end certain plotlines and character arcs. I stayed away from spoilers as much as possible this time around. Safe to say I was not disappointed whatsoever, sure there were a few scenes I'd change but that's really only nitpicks (not including the lowest episode ranked here).

As I've posted before, I was a sobbing mess during this season. There's just so many emotional scenes and heavy tension that drives this season with force. And yet it is able to balance that same energy with really great comedic scenes and episodes. Changing Channels is now my favorite episode out of all the Supernatural episodes. I think my previous favorite episode was Mystery Spot so this isn't surprising to me at all. I just love when silliness and angst are mixed together in such a flattering way. The reveal at the end of the episode is the cherry on top and it shouldn't come as a surprise that Gabriel is my favorite character. Now we are going to ignore Hammer of the Gods and move on as if he never left ummmm. Also I dislike that episode for more reasons than just Gabriel being put to rest (he is not dead trust! /psychosis) so I'm not being that petty here.

Don't get me started on Ellen and Jo though. I had told myself that this series is not to be trusted when it comes to which character dies but this was just cruel. When I watched them take a family photo, my heart sank I knew it was over. They way they went out will forever haunt me but I'll save my thoughts and feelings for another post.

Also I will be watching the next seasons of Supernatural, no matter how bad the seasons turn out to be as I've heard. After finishing season 5 I understand why people prefer this as an ending to Supernatural. The final episode captured the themes and heart of Supernatural so well. The flashbacks of the brothers throughout their journey KILLED me. It felt like everything had fallen to place and the book was ready to close.

However, at the same time I completely understand wanting more answers to a lot of the plotlines and characters that didn't get their moment of closure. I wasn't ready to let go of them either but maybe the next seasons complaints come from poor execution or how some character arcs progressed rather than just being upset that the story continues. I don't know I'll have to see for myself that's just what I've gathered from the fandom. Anyway time to go watch season 6 wish me luck.

(Edit: I should preface that as of officially posting this I have currently finished season 6 & 7 but I wrote this review a while back right after finishing season 5. I am actually behind on ranking but I finally had time to go back and post it. I wanted to clarify this since I made a post previously mentioning my season 7 complaints lol.)

#supernatural #first time watching supernatural #spn #Supernatural season 5 #sam winchester #spn sam #spn sam winchester #sam and dean #live supernatural reaction #spn dean #spn dean winchester #dean winchester #supernatural gabriel #spn gabriel #spn castiel #castiel supernatural #castiel

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talkingbl · 3 months ago

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Thai BL Companies: A Brief Guide

My guide to the major Thai BL companies for the BL newbie. I've not included defunct companies (Nadao Bangkok, Studio Wabi Sabi), companies that produce BLs but don't sign actors or companies I'm not as familiar with (Copy A Bangkok, Dee Hup House, iQiyi).

Be On Cloud (BOC)

Production Value: A- | Talent: B+ | Story Variety: C | Writing: B

Notable Series: KinnPorsche (2022), The Hidden Character (2023 Reality TV Series), Dead Friend Forever (2023), 4Minutes (2024)

Notable Actors: Apo Nattawin, Bas Asavapatr, Bible Wichapas, Fuaiz Thanawat, Jes Jespipat, Mile Phakphum

My Thoughts: As a heads up, I did not finish Dead Friend Forever ("DFF"), so please take this into account when reading my thoughts below.

BOC is the place to go for decently high production values, heavier themes, and acting that's a slight cut above the rest. BOC will bring lots of action and sex, with stories that tend to explore the more base sides of humanity.

The company's flagship series, KinnPorsche, is often cited as a good starting point into Thai BL for the average joe, however, I actually think 4Minutes is a better starting point as it takes all of the better qualities of BOC and leaves out the camp you get with KinnPorsche, which I believe is more of an acquired taste for folks who are new to Thai BL. I also think that KinnPorsche, while decent for a first production for a company, has lots of questionable directing/acting/and even writing choices that are largely eliminated in 4Minutes.

To me, the biggest issue for BOC from an artistic standpoint is the way some of their series tend to meander for awhile before getting to the point. KinnPorsche suffers from this in the middle of the series, and DFF also has this problem after the first 2 or 3 episodes. 4Minutes has sort of the opposite problem where it moves a little too quickly because of its short 8-episode run. Still, BOC's storytelling is made more interesting because of the subject matter of its series (KinnPorsche's mafia-bodyguard trope, DFF's...whatever the fuck they were doing in that scary ass show..., 4Minutes' psychological-sci-fi thriller elements).

Business-wise, BOC is a bit controversial to say the least. Their talent pool has been a bit of a mess what with Build Jakapan being forced out after being outed as the worst type of asshole and Barcode Tinnasit leaving for somewhat mysterious reasons, some of the company's key writers and producers turning out to be on a constant power trip, and even controversies surrounding the talent that haven't even had their first roles yet.

Additionally, their promotion tactics have likewise been polarizing. While they don't go full-throttle with their shipped-pair promotions, they do put on these elaborate events complete with fansigns, meet and greets, actor performances, etc. At first, it was a little flimsy (KinnPorsche cast humping the air and singing offkey in front of thousands of people), but I do think it's improving (4Minutes cast actually getting into character to perform songs (still offkey) like a stage musical of sorts, instead of singing/dancing as themselves). So, if you're wanting to get into Thai BL fandom culture, I'd say BOC has more opportunities for you to be part of that community in a way that doesn't ship you straight into delulu land.

Lastly, while I think BOC has a bright future ahead given the success of literally everything they do, I feel like a lot will ride on if they're able to keep Jes Jespipat (who was a known actor in the Thai lakorn scene before joining BOC) and attract more big-name talent. Barcode jumping over to GMMTV after alluding that he didn't want to be signed to a company again after leaving BOC is a bit of a bad look to me and I can imagine other industry talent is keeping an eye on things like that.

Change2561 (Change)

Production Value: C | Talent: C | Story Variety: B- | Writing: C

Notable Series: PitBabe (2023), This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (2024)

Notable Actors: Nut Supanut, Pavel Naret, Pooh Krittin, Pon Thanapon, Sailub Hemmawich

My Thoughts: Before you read the below, I've only watched about half of PitBabe and clips of This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans ("TLDHLB"), so many of my thoughts are colored by brief experiences.

Change is one of the newer companies to pop up on the Thai Queer Love scene. So far, their productions have been received relatively well and their upcoming series have garnered overwhelming support. Because Change is so new and both of their leading BL productions are so different, it's difficult to really point in the direction of a true identity. That said, there is an inkling that Change will be more of a novel adaptation company rather than an original content company. Additionally, Change has adapted/is adapting books that have hooks to them (Pitbabe with the omegaverse theme, their upcoming series The Most Beautiful Count and its strong identity/politics themes, etc.).

I can't really recommend a series for Change since I haven't finished the ones I've started from the company. I do think that Pitbabe is much riskier than TLDHLB, given that it does have an omegaverse element and it switches the typical seme/uke dynamic on its head.

Artistically, Change's direction looks promising, but I do warn that, likely because the company is so new, the talent pool is a bit shallow (same few actors star in each series) and the production quality varies drastically from work to work.

Business-wise, Change seems to be doing the typical Thai BL promotion tactics of fansigns, brand events, and social media fanservice, with their pairs having slightly more distance between them than shipped pairs from other companies.

Overall, I think if Change delivers on the lineup it announced in 2024, it has the potential to shake up the top players in the industry.

Domundi/Mandee (DMD)

Production Value: B+ | Talent: C | Story Variety: B | Writing: C

Notable Series: Why R U? (2020), Cutie Pie (2022), DMD Friendship The Reality (2023-, Reality TV Series), Bed Friend (2023), Your Sky (2024)

Notable Actors: Kong Kongpob, Max Kornthas, Nat Natasit, Nunew Chawarin, Thomas Teetut, Zee Pruk

My Thoughts: Warning that I have never finished a DMD show lmao (but Your Sky looks promising).

Ah, DMD...the long-touted GMMTV dethroner. DMD is a go-to for slice-of-life series that have NC elements but not at the level of BOC. Most of the series produced at DMD are straight up romantic comedies with no other themes explored at all. But within the romantic comedy genre, DMD series explore many common romance tropes (Cutie Pie with arranged marriage trope, Bed Friend with enemies to lovers trope, Your Sky with fake dating trope, etc.). Even with its upcoming series like The Next Prince and Love Upon A Time, we're getting a european royalty AU and period piece. It's truly like if AO3 had its own BL production company.

The company's flagship series is probably Cutie Pie. Though some might argue Why R U? put DMD/Mandee on the map (a la SOTUS and GMMTV). But, really, Cutie Pie was like the 2gether of DMD. It launched the company and its shipped pair, ZeeNunew, into the GMMTV-competitor conversation. That said, Your Sky is the best show I've seen from DMD and it's not even finished yet lol.

Artistically, DMD suffers from incoherent storytelling and mid-acting syndrome. Like Cutie Pie started off okay but I couldn't move past the terribly uninspired acting and all over the place plot. That said, a lot of their actors fit perfectly into established character tropes (tall/older confident and masculine seme/top, shorter/younger shy and feminine uke/bottom), which I think is a huge draw for lots of people. This is not something that affects my viewing experience, however, so I don't count this as a plus.

Business-wise DMD is a shipper's paradise. A lot of the shipped pairs act like real couples even outside of their shows, with some even being suspected of actually dating. They have all the typical shipped pair events but combine it with content out of the ass of the actors flirting, etc. DMD actors seem to have a much more international reach than, say, Idol Factory actors. While both have similar outreach in Asia, I think DMD tries to get their actors and works in western markets, which is a huge plus for western BL newbies. Additionally, DMD actors tend to not really be actors... I mean, they act, but most of them actually want to sing (and some can). This means that shipped couple birthday events are just concerts, fansigns are just concerts, extra video content is just music videos, etc. So, you will not run out of opportunities to see your favorite actors in the flesh in a manner that's (arguably) worth the money if you go down the DMD actor stan rabbithole.

Still, DMD is slightly controversial with allegations of sexism from its actors (stemming from a video released some years ago) and inappropriate pairings. With the rising conversations surrounding age gaps in pairings lately, DMD has come under fire for MaxNat in particular. For those who don't know, Max and Nat have been paired together since Nat was 17 (Max was 26 at that time). Though they were first paired before joining DMD, so most of their critics don't call out DMD for that. Still, some feel that even though Nat is now 22, DMD is wrong for keeping him in a pair with an actor 9 years his senior. The conversation is similar with ZeeNunew. Zee has been under particular scrutiny because of a comment he made about wanting to be paired with Nunew since Nunew first joined DMD at age 19 (Zee would've been 28 at the time).

Personally, I think DMD can't be blamed from MaxNat's pairing before they joined DMD. I also don't think it was necessarily wrong to keep them paired after they joined since, by then, Nat was a grown man. While MaxNat are not my cup of tea, at this point, Nat is 22, and I'm not in the business of trying to tell a grown man what to do with his career. Same with ZeeNunew. I like Nunew a lot and feel he is one of the most talented singers who also acts in BLs. But I never felt like he was showing signs of being exploited. At this point, as long as Nat and Nunew feel safe, that's all that matters to me. Additionally, new DMD pairings do not have these problems, so it's hard for me to call it a company issue.

Ultimately, DMD will likely continue to be successful for as long as ZeeNunew have stans lmao. But, on a serious note, I think the smartest thing this company ever did was DMD Friendship The Reality because it was a great way to introduce fans to new acting talent, build fanbases for the shipped pairs that came out of the show, and get money in the process. Now, ZeeNunew and MaxNat have pairs like ThomasKong and KengNamping who have skyrocketed in popularity to pass the torch to.

GMMTV

Production Value: B- | Talent: B+ | Story Variety: A | Writing: B-

Notable Series: SOTUS (2016), The Gifted (2018), Dark Blue Kiss (2019), Theory of Love (2019), 2gether (2020), A Tale of a Thousand Stars (2021), Not Me (2021), Bad Buddy (2021), My School President (2022), Only Friends (2023), High School Frenemy (2024)

Notable Actors: Barcode Tinnasit, Est Supha, First Kanaphan, Fourth Nattawat, Gun Atthaphan, Inn Sarin, Jennie Panhan, Krist Perawat, Mark Pakin, Mix Sahaphap, Nani Hirunkit, Ohm Pawat, Perth Thanapon, Sky Wongravee, Tay Tawan, Tu Tontawan, William Jakarapatr, Win Metawin

My Thoughts: GMMTV is probably the most prolific production company in Thailand when it comes to producing BL series. They have the most series, the most actors, the most events, the most money, etc. The company's identity is rooted in the schoolboy BL. Regardless of if we're talking high school boys or university men, get used to Thai uniforms if you're going to watch damn near any GMMTV BL produced before 2021, thanks to the SOTUS effect. It's not until the company enters the BL stratosphere in 2020 that we start getting a significant uptick in BLs that don't revolve around doing everything in a school building except learning.

Beyond the school settings, GMMTV is known for romantic comedies, slice of life stories, camp elements, terrible audio quality, empty sets, and 'we definitely shot this on a $2 budget' aesthetics. In fact, it wasn't until about 2021 that GMMTV production quality shot up after the explosion in popularity of 2gether. Suddenly, post-2020, Never Let Me Go was being shot in 4K, ThamePo had boom mics that worked and not just wireless mics that brushed up against the actors' clothes and picked up every sound but the actors' voices, and Sky Wongravee was signing to this broke ass company!!! And at this point, GMMTV's identity is less in its art and more in its business.

But first, the art. GMMTV, by far, has the most variety in its BL lineup. And while they don't push the envelope as much as, say, BOC, they're starting to add in mature themes at a reasonable pace. GMMTV's talent pool has shifted dramatically with so many basement dwellers leaving and very well-known actors signing (Sky, Barcode, Boun, Prem, etc.). This means that while you will occasionally see some of the most struggle acting you've ever seen from Dunk Natachai (love u, Dunk), you will see some of the most moving performances from your Gun Atthaphans. It's honestly a somewhat strange thing to experience in real-time.

Additionally, GMMTV's stories are largely adaptations of popular Thai and Japanese works (think SOTUS, Cherry Magic TH, etc.). But occasionally you will get original series that hit just right (Moonlight Chicken).

Artistically, the biggest issues with GMMTV include the weakest actors getting the most work and the most interesting stories, the inconsistent production quality, the clear favoritism, the focus on money over art, the way many of the most popular pairs clearly hate kissing boys lmfao, and, most starkly, the episode 5 drop off.

The episode 5 drop off is a series KILLER. What this refers to is how GMMTV series are almost always good, sometimes even GREAT for the first 4ish episodes. But by the time episode 5/6 comes around (or whenever the couple actually gets together in the series), we go from really good storytelling to leaning on the shittiest cliches you can imagine, the characters becoming straight up stupid, or random things happening for literally no reason with no context at all and a resolution that comes out of actual nowhere. Like there will legit be episodes of a series where one of our leading men gets shot or hit by a car or whatever, his boyfriend is like super scared and worried he's going to die and it's this big traumatic event. No less than 15 minutes later and it's like nothing happened. The shooting/car accident was literally just there to artificially raise the stakes and waste your damn time. This happens in almost EVERY GMMTV BL. Either that or the characters fake-out kiss like 30 times after they get together until there's 2 minutes left in the season finale when they finally kiss.

Regarding the other points, for example, the company treats Gen 2 (in particular, JoongDunk, PondPhuwin, ForceBook) like they are untouchable gods despite most of the talent residing with the pillars, company-switchers, het series actors, and even Gen 3 actors. Don't get me wrong, I understand those 3 pairs are stan attractors, but I feel like GMMTV is not taken super seriously as a company because the actors in these pairs get like 2-3 series per year while some of the company's best actors don't see the light of day.

Business-wise, if you're a kpop or jpop fan or otherwise into idol culture, GMMTV is probably the most comfortable transition for you. GMMTV treats its "artists" like idols (complete with "triple threat" allegations (LMFAO)); every actor getting their own song that they also struggle to dance to; every pair getting their own official mascot, logo, fandom name, and lightstick; concerts; shipped pair reality shows; etc. Hell, even the non-BL pairs get some of these things so long as they look good together and have chemistry (looking at you, Sky-Nani imina). It's like a fanservice paradise over there (except it's not billed as the pairs are actually dating, but that they're all in the will they-won't they, phi-nong, more than friends but less than lovers, stage). And if you pay close enough attention to the GMMTV pairs, you will notice common trends of how they interact/promote that will quickly unravel any delulu thoughts that you might have at the outset of seeing them together.

But to me, the best parts about GMMTV's business strategy, however, are their international focus and the novelty in their company promotions.

As for their international focus, most of their content is freely available on YouTube and subbed in English. Many of their artists are bilingual. And they're starting to produce events overseas at a high clip (e.g., TayNew recently in Rome, JimmySea in LA last year, GMMTV Fan Fest 2025 in Japan, etc.).

Novelty-wise, they've got several things going for them. They're the ones that started the annual lineup shows where they drop trailers for series coming out in the next year, have performances from their in-house T-Pop groups, and interview the casts and crews of upcoming series. They also have unique events like GMMTV Starlympics (if you're a kpop fan, it's like ISAC but only one company's idols participate against each other and there's musical performances), and GMMTV Company Outing (which is their annual company trip and isn't officially televised, but the artists and their managers always upload videos in real time of the shenanigans that occur at these outings). GMMTV even spearheaded the shipped-pair variety show content mill with mainstay pairs getting their own shows themed after either the actors' names (think EarthMix Space) or their interests (think TayNew Meal Date). These are all pioneering promotional tactics that make GMMTV series and shipped pairs even more entertaining.

Besides the money-making genius at GMMTV, however, there have been so many scandals with this company's actors it's hard to keep track. Everything from misogyny allegations, to homophobia, to people criticizing them for largely platforming straight-presenting (?) actors over out actors, to racism, to abuse (Pawin Thanik, Foei Pattara), to inappropriate behavior with children (think Prom Teepakron), etc.

Despite the scandals above, GMMTV is going nowhere. Having so many artists signed to one company, content where there's something for everyone, and an international focus with a parasocial lens is helping GMMTV maintain its status as the premier producer of BL content in Thailand.

Idol Factory (IDF)

Production Value: A- | Talent: B- | Story Variety: B- | Writing: B

Notable Series: Secret Crush on You (2022), GAP (2022), The Sign (2024)

Notable Actors: Babe Tanatat, Becky Rebecca, Freen Sarocha

My Thoughts: Disclaimer: I've only watched Secret Crush on You (SCOY) from Idol Factory.

IDF is the first company to be spearheaded by a former BL actor (Saint Suppapong). It's a newer company with an uncertain identity as of yet (though, I'd say that they're wanting to be known as an all-things queer love (QL) company rather than one focused on BLs or het dramas).

I don't have much to say about IDF artistically except that it's being well-received by BL audiences. Most of the people who like their dramas like the chemistry between the shipped pairs as well as how seriously the company takes queer stories. At IDF, you'll not only find BLs and GLs, but also stories involving trans characters seeking acceptance (see SCOY), for example.

Business-wise, there's a risk here. While the pairs in these shows are lauded for their chemistry, there's not a lot of variety and some pairs have been entrenched in controversy regarding their offscreen activities. Personally, I don't agree with all the folks making a big deal out of some of the actors dating each other in heterosexual relationships. I just hope it doesn't affect IDF's ability to thrive as a company since they're one of the few taking real chances in their content. Additionally, it's not lost on me that more of their stans hate the fact that the actors are in straight relationships than the fact that Billy Patchanon (leading man in The Sign and SCOY) unabashedly said the n-word...

I think that if IDF can expand its talent pool, it'll continue to find success in the BL world.

Jinloe

Production Value: F | Talent: C | Story Variety: D | Writing: F

Notable Series: Hit, Bite, Love (2023), Addicted Heroin TH (2024)

Notable Actors: August Vachiravit, Jur Vasin, Newyear Nawaphat

My Thoughts: Didn't watch Hit, Bite, Love (HBL) (actually dropped the trailer like 2 seconds in lmao) nor did I have any interest in Addicted Heroin TH (though I've seen many clips on the internet).

Jinloe should probably close and all its actors sign to Tia51. Their company identity is making people as uncomfortable as humanly possible by casting children to do questionable things on TV. I don't think that company is a safe place for kids and I think the content they produce is targeted toward...a specific kind of reprehensible person. If you want to see what I mean, just take a gander at the MDL pages for HBL and Addicted Heroin TH.

I can't really speak on their art because I don't watch their shows.

Business-wise, they seem to make dumb decision after dumb decision. From casting a 15 year old to play the love interest of a 27 year old, to NC scenes involving minors, to not even attempting to build out their repertoire of dramas, this company has no vision nor any direction. They're trying to market NewyearJur as a shipped pair with music videos together and social media posts (since those two are the only ones who seemingly have age-appropriate interactions in Jinloe series), but it's all failing miserably since: 1) people familiar with Jinloe's shady business run when they see that name; 2) neither Jur nor Newyear are particularly talented in a sea of similarly-aged actors actually showing potential; and 3) neither Jur nor Newyear have the clout of others in their age range since they started with Jinloe (as opposed to, say, Mick Metas at GMMTV who got clout from being related to Win Metawin).

Jinloe will probably be the next company to close but I also don't doubt that creeps will keep them open.

MeMindY

Production Value: D | Talent: C | Story Variety: D- | Writing: D

Notable Series: Love By Chance (2018), TharnType (2019), Don't Say No (2021), Love In The Air (2022), Love Sea (2024)

Notable Actors: Boss Chaikamon, Fort Thitipong, Noeul Nuttarat, Peat Wasuthorn

My Thoughts: MeMindY is known for its CEO (?), Mame. Anyone who is familiar with Mame's work knows they're going to get dicey romance stories often centering around university students with at least one scene of romanticized abuse for good measure. Now, I do think the abuse stuff is changing (Love In The Air (LITA) didn't really have any of that), but I can understand why MeMindY has that reputation. Either way, every MeMindY show will have engineering/med school/architecture/some other type of professional school students, actors folks consider conventionally attractive, reluctant bottoms that don't know they're gay, somewhat aggressive tops who are always physically bigger than the bottoms, strict heteronormative dynamics, and sometimes literally insane plot elements (like the Tor plotline that came up in TharnType (TTTS))...

Artistically, MeMindY needs to take a step away from university BLs. While TTTS and LITA kept my interest for a bit, I do think Don't Say No (DSN) felt a bit stale. But I'd say it's likely because DSN didn't have the best acting and its episodic structure made it difficult for me to connect with the underlying story. Particularly, the episodic structure in DSN didn't work as well as it does in GMMTV's ThamePo. Still, I appreciate the fact that MeMindY picks actors that do not seem bothered at all about kissing and portraying sex with other men. It's what makes MeMindY series more dynamic than series from other companies despite the laundry list of issues they tend to have.

Business-wise, MeMindY leans HEAVILY into the shipped-pair dynamic. It's less commercial than GMMTV and, these days, less 'we're actually dating' than DMD, but somehow it comes off as just as in-your-face as DMD and GMMTV. I'd even say that I consider MeMindY a peer company to DMD and GMMTV based on the popularity of its shipped pairs alone. Like MewGulf (RIP), BossNoeul, and FortPeat are all booked and busy. MewGulf did for Mew Suppasit and Gulf Kanawut what BrightWin did for Bright Vachirawit and Win Metawin. Mew and Gulf never have to act in BLs ever again to have success and can solely focus on their het careers and terrible singing. I'd even go as far as to say MewGulf is often considered the blueprint for what a shipped couple can be with folks (not me--zonzons leave me alone) often comparing ZeeNunew and the like to MewGulf. BossNoeul is similar to a JoongDunk/PondPhuwin level of noteriety without nearly the same level of dramas to their name, which speaks volumes.

Because MeMindY can produce 1-2 series per year with the same 4 actors and have people shipping them to the high heavens, I think we can consider it an established company that will continue to thrive barring bankruptcy lol.

Open Label

Production Value: C- | Talent: B | Story Variety: -- | Writing: B

Notable Series: Century of Love (2024)

Notable Actors: Daou Pittaya, Offroad Kantapon

My Thoughts: Open Label is the new company on the block. From my understanding, Daou and Offroad actually formed the company themselves (a la YinWar with YWPB or Saint with IDF). Open Label does not have an established identity because they've produced approximately one show. BUT, they did tell us about DaouOffroad's new series The Wicked Game, which looks to be a bodyguard romance that takes on some of the more mature themes we typically see at BOC.

Artistically, all I can say is that they're off to a great start with story selection. Century of Love (COL) was a good first entry as it has a fantasy/supernatural element that blends Thai folklore and religious practices with its romance. There's also the level of comfortability and chemistry between its key actors (Daou and Offroad) that is hard to come by. Hopefully as the company produces more successful series, budgets can increase and they can attract even more talent.

Business-wise, there is no business. There is only DaouOffroad and a slew of pretty faces we have yet to see in anything. This is a good starting point for any company, however, so we shall see how things continue to progress from here.

Ultimately, I'm optimistic that Open Label will see success.

Tia51

Production Value: C- | Talent: C+ | Story Variety: D | Writing: C-

Notable Series: My Universe (2023), LoveSick 2024 (2024)

Notable Actors: Almond Poomsuwan, Bew Busaya, Krit Ngamtanakijja, NJ Deeprompt, Progress Passawich, Shane Thanatpong, Sky Phasith, Toto Thayawat, Yeepun Purichaya

My Thoughts: I've only watched LoveSick 2024.

Tia51 is not exactly new but, from what I know, they've only produced 2 series. Because of this, they don't have an identity yet.

Artistically, so far, so good. It's definitely interesting to have one of your first series be a remake of an iconic series, and it seems to have been a genius decision by the folks over at Tia51. But, because the flagship series is a remake, the only thing to discuss artistically is the talent pool. The directing in Love Sick 2024 was, at times, very inspired. The actors were nearly all rookies and a good 75% of the cast were under 18 at the time of filming--2 things which do come through quite a bit in the finished product. Still, I found that the lead role was very strong, all things considered, and the changes made from the original to this remake seemingly made a lot of sense. Going forward, it's really just about staying at this level of quality or better.

Now, out of all the companies in this space, Tia51 is the only one I have personal experience with when it comes to the business/fan side of things. While in Thailand, I stumbled upon the premiere of LoveSick 2024. While the event itself could've used a little more logistics planning (though part of the problem here is that my Thai isn't very advanced so I had a little more difficulty getting around the venue), it was overall pretty well-organized, which left a good impression on me.

Additionally, the actors are all hella clouted in Thailand (from my understanding, many of the actors cast in the show actually had fanbases through things like music and social media prior to being cast), which adds to the business potential of Tia51. It also helps that, from my experience meeting the crew and cast, they are all very charismatic and are quickly learning how to be good entertainers. Because of this, I think the business of Tia51 has potential to expand. They just need to not waste Progress's acting talent, Chok and Toto's singing talent, and the rest of the cast's social media clout in order to succeed. This means picking tasteful stories to tell and actually nurturing their musical talent in a natural way (unlike GMMTV platforming non-singers).

Conclusion

If you're coming from western media, I'd say the best place to start is either BOC (they have the more serious vibes you get in western media with few quirks) or GMMTV (they're the most accessible).

If you're coming from eastern media (particularly kpop), GMMTV is probably the best place to start, closely followed by DMD. The fandom experience that is a huge part of kpop, is very similar here. In fact, for kpop fans, it might even be helpful to think of the BL companies in kpop company terms. GMMTV/DMD/BOC = SM Entertainment/JYP Entertainment/YG Entertainment, respectively. MeMindY & IDF are like the smaller companies that still have popular groups like WakeOne and KQ Entertainment.

If you're coming from other BL industries (Taiwan, Japan, Korea), I'd say start with Change or DMD for Taiwan and Tia51 or BOC for Korea. If you're coming from Japanese BL, I don't know what to tell you because jbl stans almost always think jbl is superior to everything else and won't given] anything else a chance. Plus, production quality-wise, jbl productions are very dissimilar to Thai productions in almost every conceivable way lmao so I can't really make any good comparisons.

#thai bl boys love lovesick 2024 #kpop jpop koreal bl kbl taiwanese bl japanese bl jbl be on cloud boc change2651 domundi mandee dmd gmmtv idol factory jinloe open label #memindy tia51 kinnporsche 4minutes pitbabe cutie pie 2gether gap the series the sign addicted heroin tharntype the series century of love #mileapo jesbible jjayfuaiz basfuaiz poohpavel sailubpon zeenunew maxnat thomaskong taynew offgun skynani earthmix geminifourth freenbecky #newyearjur mewgulf bossnoeul fortpeat daouoffroad almondprogress njtoto shanesky kritphop

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thehypnone · 15 days ago

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alright, I need to get out some (potentially hot) takes about the new ghost era

disclaimer: this is just me sharing my absolutely harmless thoughts. I am not hating on tf, or any of the ghouls, or any groups of fans, or anyone, I'm not stirring drama, or trying to force my opinion on anyone. I'm just letting out some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head the last week. if you disagree, that's totally cool, just move on. please don't dogpile on me for no reason again, let's be adults, agree to disagree if need be, and move on. please

alright, I think that's enough of my yapping lol

I'm both very happy and very sad about the ghouls getting fully unmasked, ive been feeling this way since the movie. I've been a fan for a while and the mystery of the entirety of ghost has always been one of the main factors that drew me in. I'm happy that they got that recognition they so deserve and that tobias was able to bring himself to doing this, somewhat healing after the actual betrayal of the lawsuit back in the day. it makes me SO happy, but, selfishly, I miss the mystery. I can also already see how the unmasking is influencing the fandom: the fanarts for one, where the ghouls are much more often 1:1 the unmasked musicians+horns. it's awesome art, don't get me wrong, I'm just pointing out that the barrier between character/actor is getting thinner and thinner; just the changes that I've noticed happening. also the fact that the new ghoulette's full government name was on my dash a day after the music video came out without any warning over it. that woman seems SO amazing, I can't wait to hear what she's got to offer playing live with ghost, but what happened to nameless ghouls? like I'm having so many mixed feeling about all of this. like I said I'm so glad they're all getting the recognition they deserve and that it's all flourishing (and I'm actually honored to be watching it all happen in real time over the years), but my autistic dislike of change is making me really grit my teeth scrolling through socials nowadays. I also miss the older vibe of the music, but that's a different thing entirely; only a matter of taste. so yeah, tldr: I miss some parts of the old ghost and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that because it doesn't hurt anyone :3

don't eat me

#hypnone's whatever #the band ghost

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months ago

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haiiiiiiiiiiii do you have any ocs

Not many fandom ones because self-inserts don't count but for original stories,yes!!!I have four book series' planned

Charlie The Tomboy/Charlie's The Man-Middle school aimed duology about a 2000s tomboy from Bronx and his egg crack that affectionately parodies and reconstructs tropes that were popular in that era

Heroes Of Our Time-7 book urban fantasy/capepunk about a team of vigilante kid superheroes who's powers come from a mix of scifi and magical sources and distrubutes archetypes to play with them and takes place in the 90s for the most part and has 'time' it's biggest theme in multiple ways

Chronicles of Existentia-14 book high fantasy with afropunk/solarpunk dripping from it's core(the mc is essentially a mythologically accurate Persephone and Percy Jackson fusion)and inspired by my daydreaming disorder combined with listening to Helena by Mcr on repeat and subquently going from there to inspire other elements of the books by the rest of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge.My fave one out of all of them and it's heavy focus on girlhood avoids the hurdle bits unless you count Helena needing her egg cracked.If you find any similarities to Narnia including the title that was intentional

The Unprivate Diaries-5 book kids horror focusing on a girl with realistic amnesia and brain damage effects as the opener and the powers system here Magic and Morbid,essentially light/'traditional' kids fantasy elements and dark/'corrupted' kids fantasy elements but with taste and love for the craft i have,not 'a deconstruction of naivetee'

The mcs in order are called The Pro-Losers,Team Reject,The Forever Force and The Horror Solvers.The Pro-Losers are just normal humans but bullied weirdkids turned weird transsexual autistic adults(first book > second book),Team Reject i already described but a worthy note is there's 7 members,The Forever Force consists of Helena and her closest friends she built up over the series that swore their loyalty to her as their leader because she saved their lives not in the saving from danger sense but in the helping them move on and gain healthy coping mechanisms sense and The Horror Solvers are self-appointed kid dectectives that solve mysteries and take down people who want to hurt/destroy the world and it's people with M&M forces

And yes,i did make Team Reject and The Forever Force start the series at 11 to spite that author fascist and include an all girls magical school in Girasol(Helena's homecountry)that is exclusively for transfems🙏🏼🫶🏽Magnus aka the Hoot mc also insults the series as an at least once per book gag because he's a bookworm and it gave him endless psychic damage

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cloudninetonine · 1 year ago

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A Player's Aid: Chapter 16

Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe

Warnings: Bad langaue, mentions of conflict, mentions of intimidation (??), mentions of blood, stabbing (??? Wild has been stabbed by an arrow), Tears spoilers (Great Fairy new location)

The few following seconds shared one of the two reactions you were expecting.

Jack shit.

Everyone still watching, waiting- the longer you stood idly with the stone still dormant under your palm the harder your face fell until the scowl was obvious to see.

“That it?” More to yourself than anything, you glanced down to Wind who shared the same disappointed look.

“I guess.”

What a barrel of fun.

It seemed such mystery would lay underdiscovered for a little longer, your heart dropping in disappointment. You didn’t like not knowing, didn’t like the unknown behind the veil of magic continuing to hide your purpose. Ridiculous. It was ridiculous. Why couldn’t you have been given the slightest hint to what was going on? Why were you being held in the dark? You weren’t supposed to be here, in some mediaeval wonderland with horrid creatures lurking in the dark or under the guise of humanity- Hylianity? Oh, who even gave a fuck.

“This was fucking pointless.” You muttered, dejectedly. “Let’s just go.”

Wind patted your hand in a show of sympathy, Wild joining your opposite side to send you a smile with similar emotion.

Robbie shrugged. “Eh, you win some, you lose some.”

Behind you someone began to speak, your body turning to address them-

And suddenly it was gone.

Everything was gone. Like the sun had suddenly gone out, along with the stars, the galaxies- like the land beneath you had been sucked away by an unknown force as you stood stock still in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Hands still visible, body still intact, your eyes widened in a confused little horror while you glanced around the area with comical silence.

…

“....Am I tweaking-”

BASS BOOST.

It was the best way to describe it. Like standing next to a speaker in a club, the sound waves close to bursting your own ears as you screamed in surprise and made a move to cover them. Light accompanied it, blinding and raw as it pierced even your eyelids after snapping them shut to save your own sight. Flashing colours and screaming volumes, you curled into a tight ball to save your senses as everything flew right towards you- what was this? Some sort of rave turned to the level hell?

Only one way to find out.

Forcing yourself to open your eyes you saw continuous flashes. The changing colours turned to solid pictures, the scene around you changing each passing second practically leaving you dumbfounded. What were these images? It took all the power in you to focus on only the tiniest tidbits of it.

Field. Red poppies.

Mountain. Encased in snow.

Cave. A stream that led to light.

Your eyes fell to the floor, a surface that seemed to flutter like waving water beneath your boots with the familiar veins of blue that ran rapidly into the abyss.

The screaming was still too loud, the feeling of liquid slowly rolling out of your ears and into your gloves only proving that along with tears of pain rolling down your cheeks. Oh god, oh god it hurt and it just wasn’t stopping.

“Please.” You hiccuped, shaking from the strain. “Please stop- it hurts.”

And just like it was dark again.

Just like before, save for the show of Sheikah magic that still flowed gently further and further into the ground, the area grew dark and silent. Not a peep, not a sight, only the nothingness that just surrounded you moments earlier returned full force as your body collapsed into a foetal position, still silently crying and shaking.

The lights were soft this time, the movement of the magic catching your attention as you watched it move beneath you.

Sheikah symbols slowly formed with the English following straight after, a slow transition of foreign script to a translation as it shined against your eyes.

“Here lays the tomb of our fate-”

You faded back in.

Eyes caught aquatic blue with the sailor kneeled just at your level, a concerned gaze searching frantically into yours before relaxing at the sight of your attention on him. Gilda also sat on his shoulder, looking just as relieved as the teen.

“You-....you okay?” The fairy asked after a beat.

You blinked, registering the other bodies surrounding you and the feeling of magic just by your head- the familiar white glow of Hyrule’s healing spell stopping the horrible ache within your head along with your eardrums. God, you hoped he saved your hearing.

You were tired.

“…” You inhaled then sighed something heavy. “Put me down like a fucking dog.”

Quite a few voices piped up to give you a collective. “No.”

“Fuck you lot then.”

Welp, at least you tried.

----------

After a lengthy chat with Robbie, it was time to move again.

Hyrule insisted on a longer break along with a few others to let you recuperate but you had brushed it off, needing a distraction and not wanting to cause more delay than you already had back at the castle. Being a day behind probably wasn’t good for these band of heroes and you didn’t want to add on to that when you could still walk just fine. After all you were just tired and…well, you were tired and that was all that needed to be said.

Keeping hold of Hyrule’s hand your eyes stayed downward, focused on the dirt path the lot of you walked in the next few dragging hours. Staying silent as you rolled over those gruelling few seconds that you had dissociated. Seconds. Only seconds when it had felt like aeons as those voices screamed and those scenes flashed.

Why a field? Why a mountain? Why a cave? What was the tomb the Sheikah script mentioned and what did it all mean?? Your mind felt heavy with only more questions, too many still left unanswered and agitating the expanse of your mind. The whole point of touching the dripstone was to gather information but you were only left more confused than you were before. It was selfish for this world to continuously dogpile information with really no notes- couldn’t the universe give you some kind of red pen annotation for this amalgamation of ‘what the fuck’?

It had begun to rain into the last hour of your journey, mutters of distaste echoing through the group as the pace grew faster, passing by Manhala Bridge then taking a turn to the left towards the towering Coliseum in the distance.

You only really registered the ache in your legs when the outline of Outskirt Stable was only a few paces ahead.

“We’ll take shelter here for the night.” Time spoke, louder than the storm that currently beat down on your heads. “I don’t think it’s good to walk any further in these conditions.”

And those conditions sure were conditioning- you heard the telltale roars of thunder and flashes of lightning. You instinctively muttered the seconds after each crack to see the following strike.

BOOM!

FLASH!

Four miles away, quite close.

The front desk clerk, Embry, was the one to get you all situated. No beds needed, just somewhere with a roof so not a rupee lost, even when Time tried to insist the kind innkeeper waved him off.

“You pay for the beds- shelter is a Hylian right!”

Hmmm, your government could have taken a tip or two from that.

Your bedroll had never felt this comfortable, it seemed, even against the hardwood floor of the stable, horrible lumps and stiffness only equated to your nice fluffy mattress back home. As if you could feel that plush duvet, freshly washed for a long night of rest and your pillows expertly fluffed to embrace your head, you felt yourself begin to drift.

Dinner could wait, you needed a nap and you needed it now. Hell, maybe you would sleep through the whole night from the fatigue-

“Hey- you’re not falling asleep now are you?” A red, tired eye cracked open with a horrid twitch, turning to look at Wind who looked down at you from where he was leaning, big blue eyes studying you curiously. “Come on, I wanna show you something.”

Dear Christ in heaven- “Really? Now?”

“Don’t say it like it’s late- ‘s’only early evening!”

“If I could choke you, I would.”

“Just come on!”

“Better be worth it or I’m hanging you from your feet outside.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “It is!”

With a heavy groan you flopped onto your front then pushed your weight up to kneel, blinking blearily at the hand offered to you that quickly yoinked you upright once you had taken it. Dragged to the opposite side of the stable inn, dragging your feet in a show of exasperation as the younger boy brought you to the mini tent set up right at the back of the structure- little Haite (now bigger than her once chibi version) sat just outside, watching the light darkness underneath.

Wind kneeled down and you copied his movements-

“Awh.” The Hylian retriever tilted its head towards you, panting and looking tired with puppies surrounding her stomach, snoring quietly under the noise of the storm. “Okay, it’s worth it.”

“Told you~” You yanked his ear at the show of attitude, the boy yelping and slapping your arm when Haite shushed you both quietly, sending you fierce glares.

“You’ll wake the puppies!” She whisper-shouted and you both fell silent.

Eyes returned to the spectacle of the dog and pups, watching them with soft eyes.

You needed something like this. A moment to just relax and wind down, not thinking about the mounting horrors of Hyrule or the darkness that lurked, waiting to snatch you up. A bit of normalcy laid right before your eyes, a relaxing activity that could securely hide your daunting anxiety- watching puppies sleep their pretty little heads away.

“Who’s the dad?”

“A wolf!”

“Woah!”

“Yeah! She used to sneak off to play with him all the time!”

Oh they were wolfdogs too- your heart couldn’t handle the cuteness.

On instinct you reached your hand out, careful and slow as you moved closer to the Hylian Retriever who tilted her head again curiously, bringing it forward to meet you halfway.

A gasp came from your side. “Wait, don’t-”

And the retriever gently licked your fingers after a sniff, a smile pulling on your face as you moved to ruffle her fluff.

“Oh! She’s been very aggressive recently because of the puppies!” Haite noted, watching as the stable dog pushed its head further into your hand to feel your touch. “What’s your secret?”

Wind bumped you playfully. “They just have a thing with animals- Epona loves them.”

“Nah, I’m just lucky.” A puppy raised its head with a small squeak and your hand carefully moved to gently stroke it, its little sleepy whimper causing a flutter in your chest from the cuteness. “Awh, they’re so adorable.”

It was soothing, the harsh pelting of rain only added to the comfy atmosphere as you continued to pamper the pups and tired mother until you were both finally called over for dinner. Quiet chatter amongst you all so as to not disturb the many other people resting within the stable, you kept glancing over to the little makeshift dog house where the retriever kept beautiful eyes of gold focused on you. Her tail wagged each time your eyes locked.

“(Name).” Your attention swivelled back, making eye contact with the eldest. “You only briefly discussed what happened with the stone- please, tell us more of what occured.”

Oh great, back diving into the horrible and very much terrible moments in this adventure of pain that you were unwillingly dragged into. Having to relive the same scarring moments in an awful cycle to relay what cryptic message some unknown entity was trying to laser beam into your brain.

You sighed, heavy, and your free hand was grabbed by the Traveller. “I didn’t get much, in all honesty….it was bright and it was…it was loud…so loud….”

Your eyes glazed over, the images flashing.

“A field.” With…with red poppies.

“A mountain.” Encased in snow….

“A cave.” With a stream leading to light.

“....And there was something about a tomb.” Our tomb. You weren’t exactly sure who that referred to but the ominous tone sure wasn’t a fun thing to read along with the chill that had run up your back from the words alone. “That’s all I got…sorry…”

Hyrule gently squeezed your hand. “That’s okay, don’t push yourself.”

Warriors leaned forward.

“It seemed like a painful experience though.” The captain added, gesturing to your ears. “How loud was it?”

You gently brushed your ears unconsciously, the ghost feeling of maroon liquid gently seeping into your gloves and around your fingers. “Loud enough.”

Quiet surrounded you for the moment.

Then noise entered the room in the form of Wind dropping his empty bowl, a loud clutter echoing through the space and catching the attention of everyone. “....Woops.”

Chatter returned once again, a more mirthful atmosphere growing around you as the sailor made eye contact and winked.

You’d have to thank him later.

Settled in your sleep mat, you were on the edge of sleep when a weight was gently laid on your chest. You didn’t bother to open your eyes, expecting to see some appendage of Wind, knowing how he liked to move around, until another weight appeared: then another, and another, another- at the fifth weight placed you peaked an eye open to see the retriever trot over with a puppy in her mouth, tail still swishing at the sight of you as she placed the sixth and final baby upon your chest before she finally settled between you and a very confused Wild with a stretch then yawn.

Silence quietly passed.

Then Wild blinked. “...what just happened?”

You curled a protective arm around the canine babies with teary eyes. “I’ve just become a father.”

Wild watched you before snorting. “Congratulations.”

Then he turned over.

You didn’t have a lot going for you in this land of magic and monsters, but at least-

At least a dog liked you.

----------

“Mind if I join you?”

The traveller’s eyes rose from polishing his blade to the man before him, sat by the whispering fire that softly flickered in the gentle night air. His visitor was adorned with his wolf pelt in the cool Hyrule evening as he waited patiently for the younger hero’s confirmation.

“Go ahead.” The brunette smiled, returning to his chore as the elder parked himself beside him with a tired huff, the rancher’s eyes focused on the stars above rather than his brother in spirit. “Patrolling?”

The ranch-hand hummed. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I struggle to sleep with no trusted lookout- even if we’re supposed to be safe….just something you learn from my home.”

Silence fell between them after that.

In the light of the moon, birds had settled in their nests, the daylight mammals in their den while the insects sung their usual tune. Bugs harmonised with the wind and trees, their sounds a beautiful chorus of peace for those who bore witness to it; the lightning bugs danced to the near hypnotising rhythm, nocturnal critters snuck through the bush of the surrounding woodland in their nightly hunt.

Twilight inhaled a breath.

“...Have you mentioned anything to (Name) about us?”

“Hm?” The traveller glanced at his companion. “Why do you ask?”

“They knew who Wolfie was- they knew his name.” A stillness surrounded both as the Hero of Twilight looked to the Hero of Hyrule, his face a little hard. “I understand if you want to share your own secrets-”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Link, and you know that.” Hyrule’s frown made the other’s face drop, looking down to his lap as the younger man continued, a sigh fresh on his lips as he returned to look at his reflection within the blade’s surface. “I know that Wolfie was a hard secret to tell and I would never share such a thing, even with them.”

“Then how did they-”

“Possibly from how they knew us to begin with.”

Twilight blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“Their odd device? They showed us the Champion- they did mention that’s how they came to know our stories.”

A beat. “So…they could know more?”

Hyrule sat a little straight. “They do- I’ve asked.”

…Twilight began to nervously fiddle his thumbs, a sudden course of adrenaline rushing through him as the thoughts raged in his head. You knew more? How much more? Is that how you knew of Wolfie? If so why hadn’t you said anything- leave them, him, in the dark like that? He wasn’t sure how to react that night, as you cried and shook, whether to shift back and question you or just let it be as coincidence. But for goddess’ sake you saw a wolf and didn’t react, just seeked his comfort during your terror and slept like a child swaddled in their favourite blanket throughout the remaining night. The hero couldn’t just let that go.

You could have known he was Wolfie- that he was affiliated with the Twilight Realm.

Twilight bounced his leg. “...Have they said anything?”

Hyrule paused his activity upon seeing the turmoil on his friend’s face, settling his sword aside.

“They said it was none of my business.” He chuckled, smiling a little. “Well, not that way exactly, but I could tell in their eyes that they would not say a word to me- just after I asked if they could keep my own secrets.”

“They know your own secrets?”

“Yes.”

“....And they haven’t said a thing?”

“My brother in spirit- if you are so worried why don’t you ask them?”

….Could he really ask such a thing? “But what if they don’t know?”

Hyrule shrugged. “Then they don’t.”

“And if they do-”

“I can wake them if you like-”

“No! No.” Twilight raised his hands in worry when Hyrule had begun to raise, the brunette falling back to his seat on the log. “No you don’t need to wake them.”

“I wasn’t going to.” The Hero of Hyrule grinned something cheeky at his brother’s deadpan, chuckling once more as the stronger man lightly nudged him at his tasteless joke. “I doubt they will move anyway- they seemed very comfy in that canine pile.”

Twilight chuckled. “I suppose so…you have a lot of trust and care for them, traveller- in such a short span too.”

Hyrule raised a brow. “Your point?”

“Nothing bad, I promise, just-....protect your heart, okay? We don’t know how long they’ll be with us for.”

Hyrule frowned, brows furrowed. “....I…I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean-”

“Let’s just…let us no longer speak of it, okay?”

In the distance, a lone wolf howled.

“...Okay.”

----------

“(name)....”

…

“(Name)...”

…What was that?

“(Name).”

Just on the edge of consciousness, the voice grew closer the faster and faster your body returned to the world of the living. Darkness was the first thing you registered as your vision began to fade in, the faint outlines of objects slowly forming as your brain kicked itself into high gear and the world began to make sense outside of the reality of dreams.

“(Name).” Soft hands patted at your face, tiny in scale to a human’s and soft as they tried to shake your cheek. “(Name), get up.”

“Noooo…” You muttered, tightening your arm carefully around the puppies still snoring away. “Tired.”

“I know you are,” Gilda reasoned, laying against the crevice of your neck. “But please.”

You closed your eyes once more, hoping to drown out her voice with thoughts of jumping sheep and clouds but when she begged again, sounding so desperate and pleading, you finally managed a tired sigh. Carefully, you worked to take off the six slumbering puppies and place them carefully by their mother, her eyes peeking open to see you push yourself to your feet with the blanket still wrapped around you.

“Fine.” Grunting, you waddled over to the curtains of the stable doorway, blocking out the moon’s beams for the sleeping patrons. “Show me the way.”

The next half hour involved climbing a hill. A horrid 30 minutes that only resulted in a pissy, tired attitude from you as the fairy continued to urge you to hurry as she hovered a few inches from your ear, her usual ethereal sounds almost like a buzzing fly next to you in your exhausted and irritated state.

“Stop rushing me.” You huffed, a little out of breath from the climb. “I’ll get there when I get there.”

“I just-”

“Gilda, I’m tired can you just-”

You registered the glow first. Twinkling like stars in the night that had your attention snapping from the glowing forest green to the sparkling gold that made your jaw drop in awe.

“Is…is that?”

Gilda smiled. “It is…you can get closer.”

The Great Fairy Fountain was a blooming flower with beautiful orange petals dusted with spots of daffodil yellow, a golden encrusted sculpture crowning the centre with resting birds and more flowers. Assortments of mushrooms in variations of beautiful colours dotted over its surfaces, an abundance making up the ramping path that led to the glowing water that rippled with magic in a memorising way. You couldn’t help but slowly waddle forward, eyes shining in the light of the fountain’s beauty.

Multi-colour lights fluttered around with giggles and hushed excited chatter, calls of your name and soft caressing of your skin from the small crowd of fairies surrounding you, their presence making you giddy with excitement at the experience.

After not even a few seconds, there were fairies seated all over you and you were more than happy about that.

“This is incredible.” Gilda rushed to take refuge against your neck, playfully nudging one of her fae sisters aside to lean into your warmth. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

“Not exactly.”

In a display which you could only describe as magical, your vocabulary not wide enough to explain the beautiful details in which the nest of fairies rushed around in a mesmerising dancing spectacle, their giggles and chants growing louder and louder by the second, along with the bubbling of rushing water before finally it glowed a bright white and the liquid burst as something came to rush out.

Or someone.

“Hahhhhhh!”

You yelped and leapt back in surprise, eyes focused on the giant woman that had exploded from out of the pond.

Petunia pink hair with stunning forest green eyes and beautiful black skin. The Great Fairy was covered in glittering gold jewellery encrusted with red rubies, with the skin of her chest plated over with gradient pink scales and behind her ears sprouted iridescent fairy wings that fluttered gently in the wind. Makeup done to perfection, her red lips grew into a dazzling smile as she leaned her chin on her hand.

Kaysa’s eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky.

The definition of perfection.

“Hello, dear guide.” Her voice was angelic, like a church choir’s beautiful symphony. “Just the one I wanted to see. Please, come closer”

The sisters giggled around her, either taking seats on her form or settling in her hair- Gilda however stayed by your side, staring up at the larger woman while tugging at fistfulls of your clothes frantically.

You took a careful step forward, eyes large in sheer amazement of her as you did. “I…I’m not sure if I’m who you’re looking for.”

“Oh?” The fairy cooed, leaning forward to study you closer. “And what makes you think that?”

You looked to your feet, feeling so little under the gaze of something so grand and magnificent.

“I just…everyone makes the guide out to be this really high and noble figure and I…I’m not that.” You breathed, feeling your stomach twist in disappointment. “I don’t remember any of that. I’ve always been this mediocre person walking around everyday being just as confused as everyone else and just… me? A magic guide? No, that’s not me. So I’m really sorry, but you have the wrong person-”

Kaysa’s giant hand gently came to rest around you, pulling you closer to her leaning face as she released the most beautiful laugh you had ever heard.

“Breathe, (Name), you don’t need to be nervous with me- after all, it should be me who is nervous!”

Grasping gently to her thumb you followed her steps, your sudden racing heart slowly going back to an appropriate speed once again, until finally you had fought off the panic attack that had threatened to take you once more.

Fucking hell, it seemed that was all that you were good for recently.

Kaysa moved so that her hand came to rest beneath you, your body seated on her massive palm comfortably with the pad of her thumb softly rubbing your back in a comforting motion. Your still exhausted brain fought off the fog of sleep at the movement, looking back up into her giant green eyes that shone with mirth and kindness.

“There, better?”

You smiled. “Much, thank you.”

“Now,” She brought you closer, the ground beneath you growing further the higher you were raised until you were face to face (read body to face) with the Great Fairy. “Do you really believe such things about yourself?”

“...that I’m mediocre?”

“That you are unworthy of the title of Guide.”

You twiddled your thumbs, “....Yes.”

“Hm. And what makes you think this way?”

Ugh, where to start. “Um, I’m kind of shit at directions, first of all. So Guide? Yeah, no. Second, I don’t have any magic- the only kind of magic I’ve ever done was the typical card trick in a deck which honestly isn’t even magic, just trickery. Noble? I would probably sell my best friend for a tub of ice cream-”

Her laughter cut you off, her free hand coming to gently cover her mouth to muffle her giggles. “I’m not sure. I only know one Guide who could bring such laughter to an audience so quickly.”

You shrugged. “I guess I’m just good at comedic timing- nice to know that we both have that in common.”

“...You share their light too.”

“Huh?” You sat a little straighter, “What do you mean?”

In that moment, the youthfulness of The Great Fairy Kaysa vanished, the spark in her eyes grew older as memories flashed in her mind. You weren’t quite sure what she was recalling but you could tell that it was something important as a sentimental look washed over her features and her smile wilted just the slightest, bearing a saddened tinge.

“The Guide carried this aura of light around them- even in the darkest of times. Not only did the heroes depend on that light in moments of pure misery, but the many others who had interacted with them felt that beautiful spark. In your eyes that light still seems to burn, slightly dampened by whatever your world has forced upon you but even now those flames refuse to die.” Her free hand came close, index finger slow and steady as it pressed carefully against your chest. “Here is where it burns strongest, it fuels you, (Name). You may not realise it now, but you are much closer to the Guide than you realise.”

You felt your heart pulse and flutter, eyes zoning in on your chest curiously at the strange reaction only to see nothing. How odd, you could have sworn you saw a quick flash of something.

Your hands rested against her skin. “...But I’m not them.”

“Maybe not- but you are connected. Whether it be your motivation or your souls, I know that spirit better than the heroes themselves.”

Her hand moved away as you retreated quickly to your thoughts, eyes still focused downwards to your chest as the bottled questions only seemed to grow closer and closer to bursting out in a cloud of confusion and frustration. You expected to be connected to the Guide but a spark? What did that even mean? What spark did you possess that the Guide also shared? Was it the presence that Dink had mentioned those days ago? Ugh, why were people confusing you more? Why couldn’t things make sense-

You yawned unwillingly, eyes blinking in an uncoordinated way. Oh yeah, it was still the middle of the night.

“Tired?”

“Yeah…”

“You may rest here, if you truly wish.”

No arguments here. The thought of having the walk that half hour back to the stable only made your body tense with the phantom aches from over-exertion. Your half awake brain didn’t really comprehend the consequences of your actions in that moment as you slowly moved your body to comfortably lay within the hand of the Great Fairy, eyes shutting to block out the ethereal glows of the fairies.

“Okay,” You yawned once more, “But only for a little bit.”

What a fucking liar.

You felt Kaysa move you closer. “(Name)?”

“Mm-hm?”

“What is something you wish to have? For your journey ahead?”

You cuddled into the warmth of her hand, pulling your blanket closer to your face. “I guess….I wish I was stronger…and braver….maybe get a cool sword….”

Kaysa giggled. “A good wish.”

Your consciousness quickly faded out as you fell back asleep, the fairy watching you happily as your body further relaxed into her palm with your breathing evening out to a slow but steady rhythm.

Kaysa sighed, gathering her magic from deep within her and bringing it forth, her lips glowing with her power as she brought your sleeping body closer to her and carefully planted a kiss onto your head. Your body glowed in response, sparkles of her magic flying off you like smoke into the night before finally retreating away.

“May this blessing of strength and courage stay with you forevermore.”

Gilda still sat with you, looking over your body with saddened eyes before turning back to Kaysa, her tone timid. “...Do you think they’ll ever remember?”

Kaysa frowned. “I’m not sure, little one.”

“They don’t think they’re the Guide.” Gilda gently brushed your cheek with her hand, looking over your face with delicate warmth. “But…it has to be them.”

“And it is.”

Kaysa’s hand raised further into the dark sky, lifting you towards the twinkling stars. There was nothing before there was something, the stars flashing softly in the expanse of the night just as the spot where your heart laid began to glow, similarly to the light of the Guide that the many heroes once possessed.

“Only the stars would seek out their presence like this.”

----------

“Where are they!?”

The scene the following morning wasn’t a pretty one. The Hero of Wind almost regretted waking up, his eyes reflecting his grogginess as he blinked in an action to wake himself up when he noticed the tension that seemed to perpetrate the room. Confused, the boy glanced around to see the mess: Wild looked frantic as he paced, Sky and Four chatted nervously in the corner glancing towards the eldest three- Time, once again, looked angry beyond belief while Twilight and Warriors tried to calm him down with Legend looking almost smug just beside their leader. Hyrule was also nowhere to be found.

One glance to your sleep mat showed the sailor the source of the problem- only nursing puppies and their tired mother lay there.

Wind blinked. “This is a problem for later me.”

He turned in his sleep mat and shut his eyes.

The many patrons of the stable glanced around to one another, almost telepathically sharing their confusion and slight discomfort of the scene. To wake up to such a disaster of a scenario probably wasn’t high on their list of chores that day, especially the poor stablehands needing to be ready for work, but unfortunately it seemed as if fate had other plans.

Time brought hands to his face and dragged them down, his scarred eye showing in distaste of the situation. “Can I have at least one day without one problem?”

Legend huffed, almost triumphantly. “As I said, they weren’t to be trusted-”

“Veteran!” Time snapped, everyone in the room tensing in surprise at the pure anger in his voice as he glared an obvious tired eye at him. “Now is not the time.”

The Hero of Legend looked to his feet quietly.

“Do we know where the traveller went?”

“No, he was gone as soon as I woke up.”

“Same here.”

“He woke me.” Wild muttered, frantic and well, wild, as he continued to walk up and down the room- his steps nearly leaving marks in the floorboards. “He left as soon as he did.”

Twilight turned to him, exasperated. “Why didn’t you say that?”

“I woke you, didn’t I?”

And thus began an argument-

“Will you all be silent!?”

Not even this quietness could be called silence. It had almost sucked the noise out of the space, not even a pin would be heard in this absence of sound- almost as if time itself had stopped. No one moved, no one dared breathe too loud, everyone simply made themselves as small as possible as the Hero of Time sucked in a deep breath.

“We are going to find them.” He started, gritting it out from behind his teeth. “And we are going to do it now-”

“No need.”

Everyone turned to the front, even Embry behind his desk to see both you and Hyrule at the open doorway of the stable, Gilda seated on your shoulder. You didn’t look quite ready to step into the mess but your face also showed a new sense of determination that no one had seen you wear before.

“The fairy fountain. I was at the fairy fountain- we had a chat and then I fell asleep. I should have said something but honestly I wasn’t even in my right mind when I woke up. It won’t happen again.”

Hyrule’s hand gently squeezed your own, encouragingly, as silence once again took over the room. The patrons and workers of the stable watched the scene, a live action soap opera right before their very eyes which had finally grabbed their full interest as they patiently waited for the next few moments.

Time began to slowly advance towards you. Twilight reached out to him, as did Warriors, Wild seemed to trip over himself then literally tripped over his own pillow to get over to you first. The stable’s own retriever raised her head, the lips of her muzzle pulled back with a threatening growl that caused the eldest to pause in his stride but even she shrunk when his gaze fell to her before he continued and finally stood before you.

Your bladder threatened to release its contents down your legs but you stood firm, making sure to stare right back into his eyes. The milky white of his scarred eye sent a shiver down your spine, accompanied by the Fierce Deity’s markings was sure a dynamic duo to boot, flashes of a certain Kokiri boy with a mask that held unimaginable power going through your head until you released Hyrule’s own hand to reach out and gently grab Time’s- the old man’s eyes widening for a split second as you brought it closer to you.

“I’m sorry, Link.” You didn’t look away, keeping eye contact. “I’m sorry if I worried you- I’ll try not to let it happen again.”

He raised a brow, “Try?”

“I think you know better than I do that you really can’t control what happens next.”

Hyrule glanced over to you with a mixed expression and you tried not to flinch at your own stupidity.

WHAT KIND OF STUPID FUCKING SHIT IS THAT!? DO YOU KNOW WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO!?!??!?!

Time took a deep breath in.

Then let a deep breath out.

“Yes. Yes I do.” You released his hand, letting him turn back towards the group that looked upon you three with a horror of too many lifetimes. “I apologise for my outburst, that was no way to act.”

When he walked away Hyrule leaned closer to you, his voice just above a whisper. “That was very brave of you-”

“I think I nearly pissed my fucking pants.”

----------

Breakfast was once again awkward, the whole morning was just not right. You felt guilt for once again bringing such an atmosphere to the table but then again that just seemed to follow you everywhere. Such luck, it seemed, followed you around like dog shit at the bottom of a shoe.

It was a slightly tense goodbye to the workers, the Hylian retriever didn’t seem to want to let you go and followed until she was called back. You waved to her, calling a sweet ‘good girl!’ that had her tail wagging excitedly and her howling a storm until finally you were too far to see her again. She would be missed.

You were glad that these men were able to create conversation out of nothing once you were on the road again, the atmosphere light enough to share laughs and stories as you trekked closer to the intimidating behemoth that was Digdogg Suspension Bridge- a natural formation of the land that literally did bridge Gerudo Canyon to Central Hyrule accompanied by slabs of wood, made to be kept sturdy.

It was a large drop to the water below and your skin crawled nervously before Wild tugged you back.

“I think you’ve had enough wandering today.” He joked, only slightly comedic as he smiled at your scowl and patted you on the back. “Stick close, okay?”

You chuckled, “I’m not going to keep disappearing, don’t worry.”

Hyrule sent you a deadpan. “I’m not sure if we can trust you on that.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault I’m wanted by an insane dark version of you guys.”

Your boots clicked and clacked on the wooden bridge, the slight glow of Dah Kaso Shrine peaking through the cracks of the boards gently from its small island just beneath you.

“Which is exactly why you shouldn’t wander off, dummy.” Wind poked his tongue out at you, a mischievous spark in his eyes. “You’ll be safer with us!”

“Yeah, as if trouble doesn’t follow you around every corner-”

Your body was near thrown to the ground, your face planting into the rough dirt with a pained grunt as another body quickly covered your own. The air was briefly knocked from your lungs. A curse sat loosely on your tongue, threatening to escape you before men shouting caught your attention, Epona’s frightened neigh was almost deafening as the body atop you pushed off abruptly and a gloved hand hurriedly tugged you up.

“You’re okay, you’re okay.” Your world spun as you were yanked to your feet, falling into Wild’s chest with panicked eyes that only grew worse when you noticed the arrow lodged deep into his shoulder. “Blood- where did the blood-”

“That’s your blood!” You yelled, shoving your hands against the wound in an effort to stop the oozing maroon from further spilling. “You’re fucking bleeding! Oh my fucking god!”

Oh God, oh God, oh God-

What was happening!?

Where did the fucking arrow-

“Hello heroes.”

#linked universe #lu #linked universe x reader #linked universe imagine #player au #a player's aid

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