#the food noise is INSANE

[anxietytriangles]

I want to order food so bad but I’m dirt poor, and also if I did eat I would then cry myself to sleep because I hate myself so there’s really no winning here.

[domokunrainbowkinz]

Heart eyes motherfucker

[keeps-ache]

porch time porch time woowoo !! :D

[kate-bot]

EVERYONE SHOULD GO AND WATCH MY BOYFRIENDS PIZZA TOWER ANIMATION ITS REALLY GOOD GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW :)

EDIT: HE HAS TUMBLR NOW SO CREDIT TO @cartodarko !!!!!

[rapidhighway]

ngl i had a couple rough days regarding my food intake and im just losing my fucking mind rn

[fingertipsmp3]

I’m always so fascinated by people’s bad roommate stories. I’m not sure I’ll ever live with someone I haven’t vetted extensively beforehand ever again

[the-wiggler]

what the hell is project meridian

[ningningkittie]

👛🩹🥛🐈

[exoexid]

just realized something and even tho it's something very silly i feel so bad about it 😭

[vinegar-doppio-official]

job is still going THRU it right now and boss is like "wah wah can the afternoon shift come in earlier?? double shifts have been approved" bitch I AM THE AFTERNOON SHIFT WHO ELSE ARE YOU TALKING TO????? and the answer is go fuck yourself. My shift starts at 2 pm anyway and ur telling me to come in and do a double shift at 11 am? ill get there like at 1 pm. Whats the point. If i had any use for a double shift i would have liked to be let known about it last night at 8 or 9 pm are you insane. Do you know how time works? Also you knew this would happen cause its been happening for a week straight like why are you so goddamn incompetent just hire more people jesus h christ we TOLD you we were understaffed, we TOLD YOU multiple times this would eventually happen if you didnt start taking hiring people seriously and now you wanna cry cause i dont give a shit about staying a single minute overtime or do a double shift? get real

[truthsinwhispers]

Dude calls me from his room.

"Hi, front desk!"

"Hi.... oh, I know who this is."

:worry.png:

Dude's having problems with his TV, which I don't know shit about. I send the other guy there to deal w it.

Then one of our regulars comes down and he's like "yup I knew I was talkin' to you on the phone! I wanna make next week's reservation because I heard your voice and thought 'oh thank god someone who knows what the fuck they're doing'" so.

[twistedlittlenightmare]

i must not have a wednesday spiral

i must not have a wednesday spiral

i must not have a wednesday spiral

[monument-of-anxiety]

So the new TikTok trend is really people with ED posting their anorexia meals and calling it "girl dinner" for clout huh. That's. That's where we're at as a society.

[kiemiu]

voice notes your boyfriend chris leaves you | ( fem!reader ) fluff + soft hours. established relationship drabble warnings? -> slightly suggestive, use of her wc 327 (library) + (request)

one. hey..me, nick, and matt just landed in boston about...half an hour ago? i—i can't remember i didn't get much sleep on the flight..but i wanted to call and say goodnight, and i love you but then i remembered it's 3am here so i know you're asleep by now. (long sigh followed by silence) i miss you already.

two. hi, pretty baby. you didn't answer my call so i'm assuming you're busy right now. (crunching noises) but that wouldn't make any sense because what else could you be doing besides being my girlfriend? like-(scoffs)

three. hey sweetness, i'm at target right now and im— looking up and down the toy aisle- well, im by the legos actually, and i cant remember which set you said you wanted..can you send me a pic, please? thanks.

four. (loudly burps) that one's for you.

five. can't stop thinking about you..i miss you a lot. (soft sigh) everything about you. (light whimper)

six. you look so pretty, mama. wish i was there to see all of you in person.

seven. since you're bored you should like, come over and sit on my lap while i play fortnite..yknow..just a thought.

eight. (nicks voice) if your boyfriend drinks another one of MY pepsi's you will suffer the consequences. (a hard smack is heard) (chris in the background: don't talk to her like that, are you insane?!)

nine. can't stop listening to our playlist we made together, it just makes me miss you even more even though i just saw you last night...we should just- like, move in together. or you should move in with me. i don't think the boys would mind.

ten. hi stinky, hope you feel better. i ordered some food for you and it should be getting delivered to you soon, so— make sure you pay attention to the doorbell, mkay? (kiss noise) love you, text me when you wake up.

' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 🥡: @emely9274 @ginswife @madifilipowiczslvt @chrispleasure @chrisstvrns @conspiracy-ash

a/n: just a quick drabble cause i'm working on smthn bigger and i still wanna post 🤭

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC John Constantine's How To: Ghost Kids (pt.2)

[<- part 1]

"Oh, yeah," John jerks his head up like he just remembered the fact people are supposed to have names at all. He gestures to the kids, pointing to each of them as he introduces, "Daniel, Daniel, and Danielle."

This time, all three kids flip him off simultaneously. Bruce clears his throat, trying to figure out if Constantine is messing with him and, if so, in which parts. Since, so far, everything the man has said sounds like a poor attempt at pulling his leg.

"I don't think they like those," he cautiously says, and the kids whip their heads at him, nodding furiously. Bruce can't help but be just a little enamored with the way they behave.

"Of, sod off, at this point I don't care what they like," John straightens up with a dismissive, albeit weak, wave of his hands, and rubs his face, "They are menaces. Sometimes by accident, but mostly on purpose. Their grandfather thought it would be easier to handle them if they were not teenagers, and while I agreed with his reasoning at the time, I-" he glances at the kids, who all have displeased grimaces of various levels on their faces, "I have been made to reconsider. I swear that ancient bitch is laughing his ass off wherever he is now."

The kids suddenly grin. They are not very friendly, nor polite smiles - if anything, they look a bit nightmarish. An old grandfather's clock in his study makes a very loud ticking noise.

"See?" John whips his head to look at said clock, the expression on his face bordering on insane. His eye twitches.

If Bruce doesn't do anything now, he might become one of the very few people who managed to witness John Constantine, the Laughing Magician, have a meltdown. So he sighs and decides to solve the problems one at a time.

Which means that no matter how alarmed or suspicious he is, his first move would not be to interrogate either the man or the kids.

"You can sleep in one of the guest rooms, I trust you can find it on your own," he tells John, almost softly, as he catches the girl from slipping away from his lap, "Is there anything I need to know about children before you fall unconscious?"

John slumps with relief, so obviously that Bruce almost smiles. Hardships of raising - or, watching, for that matter - kids, he understands.

"Yes," he breathes out with an air of exhilaration and turns to the kids again, pointing to the middle child, "Danny is the original. He is from this dimension and timeline, that is. Dan," he turns his finger to the older boy, "is in the wrong timeline, he's Danny's future evil self redeemed into older bratty brother. Dani," he switches to the girl, "is Danny's clone, made by his arch-nemesis of a godfather. If she starts melting at any point, wake me up immediately. If any of them start floating, sprouting tentacles, speaking to walls in static, or glowing, don't."

Bruce looks down to the kids. So, definitely metas, that would explain the government trying to get them... Or, no, it wouldn't because he is fairly certain no government is going to blatantly ignore the Meta Protection Acts.

"Don't let them raise the dead, and if you give them food, make sure it doesn't have a face. If you find more than three of them, it means one of them has duplicated, don't worry, they will absorb it back later. Absolutely don't let them touch any guns," Constantine is backing down to the door as he speaks, his gaze flickering from the kids to Bruce and back every second. Like he is leaving a ticking bomb in Bruce's lap, and not three children. "Danny is, comparatively, the most responsible one, the other two are up for any dubious trouble they can get to at any moment. Oh, and their memories are wonky because of de-aging, they remember some things but not others, so if they say something particularly disturbing, it's most likely some random piece of knowledge they managed to keep."

Bruce raises an eyebrow. He did get the part about the kids being, well, abnormal in the matters of their origins, but the disjointed set of rules and advices doesn't help as much as Constantine probably thinks it does.

"Allergies, preferences, ages they were before?" He tries to get at least some more info down before John disappears through the door. Actually, maybe he should send someone to handcuff the man to the bed lest he disappears completely.

"None, but don't let them eat cutlery. Danny likes space, Dani has a thing for exploring, and Dan likes violence." The older kid stirs in Bruce's lap and says something in the direction of Constantine. No sound comes out, but the man seems to get what he's trying to say anyway, "Okay, yes, that was rude of me, sorry. Dan likes... exercise," he ends up with, and that placate the boy enough to slump down and cross his arms. John sighs, "They were seventeen, fourteen, and twenty respectively. Now," he snaps his fingers, and suddenly Bruce can hear the girl - Dani - humming a tune under her breath. So, he lifted the silence spell, it seems.

"Good fucking luck," John wishes to Bruce, earnestly, and all but vanishes away.

Bruce sighs and looks down to the kids.

"Are you hungry?" He tries, and all eyes are on him at once, attentive and unblinking.

"Fruitloops," Danny says, and while Bruce is positive that's the name for a cereal, he gets a feeling that's not what the kid meant.

[rapplesart]

Random fic idea

Tim drake but instead of loosing his spleen he lost part of his leg.

Tim thought it was obvious he was missing his right leg from the knee down. It was a whole leg that was missing after all. Sure he was wearing a prosthetic made by Ra's' best people.

One he painfully earned after that crazy fucker made him fight a bunch of his assassins one legged in order to "proof himself as the true heir of the bat he saw in him" or something. So sure, the leg might be more advanced than most, and it imitated natural steps a lot easier and even made it possible to easily run without switching to a different leg. Truly it was a perfect leg be vigilante with. But he never even bothered to give it human like appearances.

But apparently the Fam didn't notice. When he returned with Bruce everyone was too reliefed to give Tim a closer look and it just never came up afterwards.

Tim thought they just didn't want to ask about it in a weird attempt of being polite or even caring. Bruce surely did enough research on how it happened on his own. The man spend the whole travel back to Gotham with Tim after all. Tim truly believed the world's greatest detective would have noticed his missing leg.

Except he didn't. Not if he interpreted the way they looked so incredibly disturbed by is nonchalant way of handlinh the boiling hot chemicals that landed on his metal leg. He just brushed it off, the battle continued and since nothing seemed to be injured no one pressed him when he said "Must've missed me after all"

Now, how do you deal with a family that didn't notice you're missing a leg? That's right you fuck with them.

First thing he did was buy himself a few more realistic looking prosthetic leg. It had to be custom made to fit his stump so it took a whole but it was a worthwhile investment.

The first one was Jason. Call it a twisted revenge for trying to kill him but Tim just really wanted him to be messed with the most. So one day when he knew it was only Jason and him on patrol he strategically set himself down to fall. Crunching some spaghettis to ass in a sickening way only to stand up and walk away as if nothing ever happened.... With his foot toned the wrong way around. Insisting on nothing being wrong and Jason being delusional whenever the older boy tried to get him to get medical treatment. He switched it up the whole evening, whenever he was out of sight he turned the fool right and wrong. Driving the guy insane.

Jason did not sleep well that night. He was also top weirded out and unsure if what he saw was real to talk about it with anyone else.

Then, he challenged dick to a flexibility contest seeing how far they han bend their knees and feet. Even Mr bones are a social construct gymnast Richard Grayson looked horrified as Tim stood there, food bend almost in half, knee twisted to the impossible and what looked lihe a bend in the middle of his leg. Dick claimed cheating except the thing that greeted him when he demanded Tim to puch up his pant leg to expose his trick was a normal looking leg. The first Robin did lots of stretches in the following weeks. His pride was hurt after all.

Finding a way to mess with Damian was a bit more difficult. The brat still made a bunch of harsh comments again and again and he really wasn't close enough with Tim to be easily gaslit. The kid was a trained assassin and was probably used to a bunch of weird shit considering everything Ra's. So Tim decided he could go a bit more gory on Robin than the others. So one night he sat in front of Damians room, in the dark hallway and waited till one of his pets passed him. Once Alfred the Cat came along he made some louder coping noise that would Definetly make the kid look out to check on his animals. It worked just as planned, Damian peeked out his door to see Tim, crosslegged and barefoot on the floor, seemingly cutting off his toe to feed the cat. In reality it was nothing more than a cat treat and carefully picked, animal safe food coloring.

The kid scremed at him, threatened to stab him, punched him real good for harming his cat and took off with said cat to find Alfred so the older man could check on the poor kitten. Of course not beforeaking sure Tim was in an adequate amount of pain on the floor, with his 'injured' food secured to the floor with another knife. Only to return with a worried Alfred on tow to see Tim, standing two whole bare feet with a confused expression and a bag of cat treats in the hall.

Tim got a broken nose for it but it surely was worth it. Especially once he quietly whispered a 'no one will ever belief you' to the kid in passing. He might have traumatised the boy a little but Tim fought it justified for all the attempted murder he suffered.