#you guys need this food hes cookin

[kate-bot]

EVERYONE SHOULD GO AND WATCH MY BOYFRIENDS PIZZA TOWER ANIMATION ITS REALLY GOOD GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW :)

EDIT: HE HAS TUMBLR NOW SO CREDIT TO @cartodarko !!!!!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hello there, friend I'm here for fluff

OK, this has been on my mind for a while

But like

The reader is just becoming the biggest parent to the Benny's adventure team kids

And the wolfs

We are like a parent of like 27

Knitting and making food brushing razors hair(let's be for real, you would hear a crunch when you brush it)

I'm not gonna lie

Do these kids know what spices are?

Cuz when I think about it

Razor hasn't had shit so he's has the least tolerance for spice

He would probably cry if you feed him a pepper

Bennett has tried spicy food but does go well with it

And not completely sure if fischl has had a spicy food before

But what flavor does mondstadt add to their food??

These kids need the damn flavors

AHDHAKALL FERAL ANIMAL AQUARIUS- ANOTHER PLATONIC ASK AAHHHHGGGGDJJSFHSAK!!!!!

AND ITS YOU!! ITS- ITS- ONE OF THE WRITING RULERS OF SAGAU (FOR ME AT LEAST) <3 !!!!!!!!

You cooking in genshin all anime studio ghibli style looking like food from god (literally): ⬆️

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Benny’s Adventure Team! (Bennett, Fischl, Razor), Diluc, mentions of other Mond characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^

OMFG

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES

SINCE UR IN TEYVAT

YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT

AS IN-

SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH

(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish 💀)

AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-

ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS ✨️❤️‍🔥

OKAY SO

PROMO TIME-

U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"

Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking

A guy gets isekai’d and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO

and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.

but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit

like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren

so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc

And it gives buffs too!

dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here

u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild

tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Benny’s Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!

(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)

omfg the first time u barbecue smth???

the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.

Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)

they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing

(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andrius’ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)

Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food

(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from Springvale…)

ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-

No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth

(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)

Fischl dutifully declares you the “best chef in the kingdom” and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)

Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!

No!! He will not take “im good” for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! There’s no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!

and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh

when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their “All God”, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom

U offer some snacks u were going to give Benny’s Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)

the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao

ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole “creator of worlds” title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that 🥰)

the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)

another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself

u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisa’s tutoring and bring “the best tea and tea snacks in the world” along with to share with Lisa and him

(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)

(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)

…and the moment you've been waiting for.

Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat

tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.

a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.

you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),

like he doesnt even have to introduce himself

and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razor’s hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,

and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join

The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kid’s creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him

he just sits down and begins to eat.

its the best food he’s ever had, its his dad’s favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes

Diluc visits often after that, obviously.

u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)

including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)

Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But he’s not saying where LMAO

Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-

this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Venti’s skin.

when he told him this at Angel’s while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??

he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadt’s citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO

(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)

mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter

(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him 💀)

ur food is the ultimate, “u could make a religion out of this!” /ref

like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains

does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?

only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO

☆

bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :’(

hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you

Safe Travels BK Trashfire,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[pilfappreciator]

Brandi and Bruce’s S/o looking after the bakers dozen on their own, what shenanigans occur?

Anon this is?? Literally so cute what the hell??? Also referring to them as the "bakers dozen" is so genuis sfhjjfdadfggh—

Reader & the Bakers Dozen: babysitting solo

Includes: GN! Reader, mentions of polyamory, mentions of Vacay Lovers, slightly Parental! Reader, the Bakers Dozen

CW: Bruce Jr.

🍪 POV: your partners go off to some fancy convention to promote their business, leaving you to watch after all 13 of their kids. Chaos ensues

🍪 These little shits are already a lot to handle, so when you suddenly find yourself being the only adult in the house responsible for them? Yeah, babes, you've definitely got your hands full

🍪 Luckily, you've spent enught time at the Vacay Lovers household that things are at least a little easier for you lol

🍪 They definitely behave much better for you compared to other babysitters. Partly because you're smoochin their parents (and don't wanna get in trouble), and partly because they genuinely like you :3

🍪 But they're still little shits thru and thru, don't forget that

🍪 If they happen to have school? Chances are Bruce and Brandi already took care of their lunches and stuff before they left, so it'll be up to you to pick them up (WARNING: THE KIDS WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO GO ORDER AT THE NEAREST FAST FOOD PLACE! Unless you've got money for 13 happy meals, prepare to hit em with a firm refusal). Definitely helps if you blast some music in the van! They've kinda lost interest in Velvet & Veneer after learning the two literally tortured their dad and uncles...

🍪 Play Brozone. They'll go crazy and shout-sing along with Bruce's parts lol

🍪 Later in the day you can expect a few to come up to you for homework help. They might also wanna help with dinner, but fyi there WILL be a mess. Pasta sauce on the floor, flour all over the counters, stains on your clothes— the whole shebang

🍪 Want the least amount of casualties? Just let them set the table (no worries, all the plates and stuff are made of plastic ajdjakkala)

🍪 A few of them have some dietary restrictions tho so keep that in mind!! Luckily, you can always find a list of reminders/examples up on the fridge courtesy of lovely muppet wife Brandi <33

🍪 If the kids don't have school that day, then be prepared. You're gonna have very little time to yourself ://

🍪 Like they've each got their own interests and hobbies to keep them occupied, but sometimes they'll need you to reach somewhere up high, or for you to play tiebreaker/settle an argument, or they honestly just want you to join them for a game of hide and seek which???

🍪 "Aw, you sure you guys don't mind me joining in?"

"Yeah! Just cuz you're old doesn't mean you can't have fun, too!"

"...Gee, thanks :D"

🍪 They're merciless

🍪 They've all got their own set of chores they need to do. Each and everyone will try to worm their way out of them. All of them. Everytime

🍪 Sure, they can be a little hyper sometimes, but they're like 6-8 years old so that's expected. For the most part, they're all pretty chill

🍪 It's Bruce Jr. who you've gotta watch out for

🍪 He is a shit- stirer and I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THAT

🍪 This guy won't hesitate to rally his siblings into whatever plan he's been cookin in that feral little head of his. Prepare yourself because you're MOST DEFINITELY getting pranked. It's like a requirement or something

🍪 One nice thing i have to say about Bruce Jr. is that he's actually pretty resourceful. Like this little dude is using everyday household items like he's staring in his own Home Alone movie AKSJSJAKA—

🍪 Rest assured, tho, none of his pranks are seriously harmful or anything but like... at the end of the day, expect:

1) to be covered in craft supplies

2) your clothes/skin/hair a mess

3) to have one limb stuck in a bucket

4) all of the above

🍪 Honestly I feel like Bruce and Brandi would be surprised if they came back and DIDN'T find you sporting paint-stained clothes or with glitter in your hair. Maybe a few stickers slapped on your forehead??

🍪 The trick to dealing with this little agent of chaos is to either keep him separated from his siblings long enough so he doesn't manage to rope anyone into his schemes, or strike some kinda deal with him. Considering he's got 12 siblings, all of whom you need to be watching over at the same time, chances are the second option is your safest bet

🍪 Chances are he'll ask for something semi-illegal, or at the very least something that DEFINITELY requires adult supervision

🍪 DO NOT LET THIS BOY TALK YOU INTO BUYING ANYTHING RELATED TO FIRE. Seems like an easy task, I know. Unfortunately this little shit enherited his dad's charm so watch out o_o

🍪 He'll settle for a happy meal tho. Hopefully you didn't already cave and take him and his siblings out to eat earlier, otherwise you're spending even more money ajsjakkala

🍪 If any errands need to be run during your time there, you BETTER BELIEVE they're all coming with. You'll need to be incredibly vigilant during this time cuz these kids are even more rowdy in public than they are at home. If you're smart about it, you can turn the whole thing into a game! If everyone manages to grab everything off the grocery list in a certain amount of time or if they're able to find the best quality (but relatively cheap) brand of laundry detergent, then you'll buy each of them candy or something uwu

🍪 You can count on them to be cooperative, but like... bring the family child leash just in case

🍪 Cough cough (Bruce Jr.) cough cough

🍪 MOVIES BEFORE BED! It's a bit of a family tradition in the Vacay Lovers household. Yknow, just some way for the kids to spend time together before the day ends

🍪 You're most definitely gonna be playing tiebreaker when the time comes. All 13 of them have wildly different tastes

🍪 Absolutely no scary movies tho. They'll try to argue that theyre able to handle it, but at the end of the night expect to find yourself under a pile of frightened children who've ctawled into bed with you

🍪 Their collective nightly routine is literally?? So chaotic??? Like all of them are simultaneously trying to squeeze into the same bathroom just to brush their teeth... running in and out of their respective rooms... trying to sneak some extra dessert before bed

🍪 Literally never a quite moment in this household jshskakakam

🍪 You might have to read a few bedtime stories or sing a lullaby—

"Dad does it better"

"Just go to bed, Benji"

—but once they've settled in under the covers? Out like a light. They are unconscious the moment their heads hit their pillows

🍪 You'll probably have a mess (or two... or three) to clean up afterwards, but once they're taken care of? Dishes washed? Counters clean? You're more than welcome to crash on Bruce and Brandi's bed <33

🍪 Said couple returns home the next morning...

🍪 Just to find their kids drawing on your face with marker. Cross your fingers that none of its permanent 💀💀

Hope this was good! I know I call them all little shits BUT I MEAN IT AFFECTIONATELY OKAY AJSJAKA

Ngl I feel like this could have been like... more colorful? Like I was very general about the kids and their behavior as a whole, but now I'm super tempted to make a post describing each of them and all their little quirks! Just something fun to do that'll help me write them better in the future ;3

[angel-taser]

Silly Satoru Gojo Headcanons!

Hello beautiful jjk people! This is some completely unserious funny hcs I think would fit our favorite blue eyed man! Gege did our man SO wrong🥲

Some are romance related others are not but I have been brainstorming for hours thinking abt it soooo enjoy~!! <3

Content warnings: fluff, mention of underwear, possibly ooc(?), he’s just a silly traumatized man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~••••~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bro is the biggest snorer EVER. He is literally so loud you almost need earmuffs if you sleep next to this man

On the same note, he is clingy as hell in his sleep (and when hes awake lets be real) but he will turn infinity off so he can hug and hold you all night. He almost cant sleep if hes not holding you

He sleeps in his undies🤭 no shirt nothin

He plays Angry Birds when he’s bored, and probably has Cut the Rope or Temple Run on his phone as well. He is the “got games on your phone?” kid. (He’s asked Nanami if he does when his phone was dead)

Has a gazillion pictures of his first years on his phone, his love language is taking pictures.

Staring competition champ. Need I say anymore? Lookin like 🧿👄🧿

Sings in the shower and poses in the mirror for at least 15 minutes before he changes. If you catch him he will ask you to take pics of him for “physique updates”.

He most definitely has a few stuffed animals on his bed, he doesn’t show it off much but his favorite is one Megumi got him when he was a kid (its a penguin)

His favorite food is someone’s momma’s cookin. Something about a homemade meal makes his day, he tries to support smaller restaurants because its a higher chance a mom poured her life and soul into the recipes

Cant cook for shit though. Has almost burnt down a kitchen. Three times. Maybe four

Dramatic. Pouty. And clingy when he’s hangry. Megumi has been a victim to this on multiple occasions.

“So much for being the strongest” “MEGUMI I JUST WANT FOOD PLEASE😭”

Love his students to death, doesn’t quite know how to show it so he resorts to teasing and buying them food.

Avid figurine collector. Of what? Idk but he has them somewhere!

If youre dating him and someone flirts with him he just screams IM MARRIED at them. Works every time, but it does boost his ego. However he is still loyal to his partner so he doesnt let it boost him tooooo much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~••••~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That is all of them for now! Hope you enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed making them! Lmk if you have anymore abt him bc brother has me in a chokehold as he does you guys <3

Bye pookies! 💕

[k1ngdom-of-thieves]

What's cookin! I have an idea I'd like to share with you! Leona, Jamil, Riddle, and Vil with a female s/o that cooks them up a whole feast when she's asked to take care of their birthday food.

Coming right up!

Leona, Jamil, Riddle and Vil + S/O that cooks a birthday feast!

Leona Kingscholar

Leona has had some extremely extravagant birthday celebrations as prince of the Sunset Savana. But they were all mostly paid for by people who wanted to gain his favor. He usually didn’t have someone cook for him just because they wanted to.

At first, he was suspicious of your motives. But after he saw how genuine you were with wanting to do someone for him, he just let it happen.

He reminds you that he’s a fairly picky eater, so he better not see any vegetables in those dishes. That’s mostly a joke however, he’ll still try to give it a try. Unless it’s something like a salad, then he’ll just stare at you.

He’ll flaunt you to just about anyone. He takes pictures of everything you made him and post them on his magicam.

“Ha! If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought you had some ulterior motives. I really mean this much to you, huh?”

Jamil Viper

Jamil, was also fairly accustomed to larger birthday celebrations thanks to Kalim. They never ceased to make him extremely embarrassed, though.

He was incredibly thankful that you decided to cook for him in private. Don’t get him wrong, he loves you so much; but if he had to deal with two large-scale celebrations in one day, he’d probably pass out of embarrassment.

He’d be incredibly impressed that you managed to make everything on your own, without needing him to assist. Even though that’s literally all he does.

Jamil would prefer to keep this private. Not just because he’d be so embarrassed if other students saw him with a flushed face, but also because he feels like no one else should see how much you’re willing to do for him. He’s a very prideful guy.

“You could’ve asked me to help with some of this. I wouldn’t have minded if it was you who asked.”

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle has never had something like this done before. His mother was unbelievably strict about what he could and couldn’t consume. The most she’s allowed him to eat was 30 calories above the usual limit.

So when you lead him to the dining room with plates on top of plates of food just for him, he thinks it’s some sort of joke. It’s only when you start describing the different foods in front of him when he realizes that you genuinely have his best interests at heart.

At first he denies being the only one able to eat all of this. Surely you should enjoy it first since you made it, no? But you were very stubborn about it so you guys were at a temporary standstill.

He only relented when you agreed to joining him in the meal. It ended up being a really sweet experience, you had made so many things that his mother never allowed him to eat before!

“Normally I would never partake in eating such a large meal by myself. But.. since you worked so hard on it, I’ll make an exception.”

Vil Schoenhiet

Vil is also someone fairly accustomed to people performing large displays of affection. Usually they’re just fans or companies that want him to promote them.

But when he sees that you did it all by yourself, just so he’d have a good birthday, his heart melts a little. So even though most of the foods go completely against his diet, he gladly eats it for you.

He implores you to eat with him. It’s no fair if you work so hard and not have a taste of your efforts. At least that’s how he put it.

After trying everything that you made for him, he tells you how much he enjoyed it. But he does ask you to try to have it fit within his diet more. Bro would flip if he found a pimple the next morning.

“All of this just for me? You truly are a little saint. *chuckle*”

[dotster001]

I just had an idea for a request! What if MC is asked to cook the meals for each dorm when there's a special occasion? And everyone believes that she can't do it but, lo and behold, she manages to cook up a whole feast. I hope this is okay!

Caterer

A/N: Fun fact, it takes me a long ass time to get to requests...so I hope you're still around anon ��

CW:Fem! Reader

"Alright, you said you need food on Thursday for Sebek's birthday, right?"

"Yes, preferably by three."

"Okay, and you guys need food for the basketball club on Saturday?"

"Yeah. And Floyd wants to remind you he wants shrimp on the menu."

"Duly noted."

How did you get here? How did you become NRC's most popular caterer? Well…

Three months  prior

You had stopped by the Heartslaybul Dorm to visit Trey, who was still recovering from his broken leg. It appeared you had stepped into a warzone.

"Sevens! What are we supposed to do?"

Riddle was pacing back and forth, while an exhausted Trey looked on.

"We can ask Octavinelle. I'm certain Azul will have dishes worthy of an unbirthday party."

"And be indebted to Housewarden Ashengrotto for the rest of my life? Absolutely not."

"Wait, you need food for an unbirthday party?" You finally piped in, startling both the boys.

"Yes, but as you can see, Trey is still incapacitated. And the freshmen he has been trying to train are not ready to take on the project."

"I can do it," you offered.

Again, both boys just stared at you.

"You do know the unbirthday party is…tomorrow, right?" Trey asked. "It's not that I don't believe in you, it's just a lot of food to take care of at the last second."

"Well, I don't believe in you," Riddle said dryly. "There's only one person I believe can pull off something like this alone, and he's laying in that bed."

"Thank you?" Trey questioned.

"Well, just for that, I'm gonna do it! Just to prove you wrong!"

"Y/N…"

"What time do you need the food by, housewarden?"

"1:30 tomorrow. Think you can handle that? Cause if not-"

"I know, I know. It's off with my head or whatever," and then you stormed off to the kitchen.

"Please don't be too hard on her…"

"It'll be her own fault for promising the impossible. That will be all on her."

….

Ace had wandered down for a late night snack. The closer he got, the more it sounded like someone was in the kitchen. Which didn't make sense, because Trey was still injured, so who could possibly…

"Sorry, no entrance if you aren't on the list."

He looked down to see Grim standing in front of the door like a bouncer.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean, rat?"

"It means you aren't allowed entrance. Cause you aren't on the list."

Ace knelt down to Grim's level with a smug grin.

"Oh yeah? And what are ya gonna do about it?"

Then the door opened, revealing you in an apron, covered in flour.

"Grim, please remove the distraction from the premises."

"I'm on it, oh great food master. He was just leaving," Grim responded, shoving Ace for good measure.

"Hey, wait, wait, wait! Whatcha cookin, I'm hungry!" Ace began attempting to push past Grim into the kitchen.

"Back off Ace. I'm not playing this game with you tonight. This is for the unbirthday party."

"Wait what? Dude, Trey starts like a week ahead of time, isn't that tomorrow? There's no way you're gonna finish anyway, just let me have a bite!"

You glared for a moment, before looking at your kitty companion.

"Grim, remove the trash please."

"Yes, my lady," he began kicking Ace's shins as you returned to the kitchen.

….

Ace returned the next morning, with an entourage of Jack, Epel, Sebek, Deuce, and, of all people, Jamil.

Before Ace could say something snide to you or your kitty bouncer, Jamil called into the kitchen,

"Hey, it's Jamil. I was wondering how things are going, or if you need any help?" 

"Nah I'm good, but thanks for the offer," came your reply through the kitchen door.

"Ace and Sebek have 30 madol on you not finishing in time," Epel said with a snicker.

"Grim, tell Ace to fuck off."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Grim said, kicking Ace's shins again.

Jack took the opportunity to speak to the door, "Y/N there's no shame in asking for help, it's a lot of food…"

"And Heartslaybul has the highest retention rate of all the dorms, so it's more food than any other dorm," Deuce added.

"It just can't be done, human! Allow the canine one to help you!" Sebek called.

"Look, Mr Doubter, I'm almost done. In fact, you be here at 1:30 to join the unbirthday party, so you can eat my food, and your words!"

There was a crashing sound from within, and all the boys almost burst through the door, if not for you peeking out from it yourself.

"Not to worry, I just hit an empty tray with my elbow, everything is okay. Now go away!"

The six boys, confused and concerned as ever, made their departure.

…. 

As the clock struck one, a crowd had set up outside the kitchen door. Students from nearly every dorm had huddled outside to see what the end result would be.

Then they heard a shout.

"Finito!"

And Grim hushed the crowd.

You emerged dramatically from the kitchen, and looked around at your audience, calm and collected as ever. 

"I need some volunteers to set the table."

Immediately, some students joined you in the kitchen, and then they were parading out tray after tray, stacked high with shimmering desserts of all kinds; tarts, cookies, macarons, and a three tiered cake, decorated in red and white hearts. Then came the teas. It appeared you had brewed at least five varieties of teas. 

The crowd outside stared in wonder. Silent murmurs of awe passed through the crowd, before Rook Hunt pushed his way to your side, kneeling at your feet.

"My Lady, Pomefiore would like to request your skills for a ball next weekend."

Before you could respond, Azul had elbowed his way forward, and placed an arm around your shoulders.

"Prefect, have you ever considered working for the Mostro Lounge?"

Leona somehow made his way over.

"Shove off, tako, the herbivore is going to be cooking for us!"

And thus, the Ramshackle Prefect became NRC's caterer. And no, you obviously are not getting paid for it. Who the fuck are you kidding?

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @leonia0 @eccedentesiast-sapphic

[cypherthesilliest]

Day 6 YAYAYAYA I was waiting for this one!!! I have something cooked up. When I think pepper I think gumbo and I’m thinking princess and the frog setting AND GRRRRGSYETSTTSTEYSGSHRHR

(Go check out my friend @omgitslin >:3)

ENJOY!!

It was a warm evening, the sun was just below the horizon and the blues of the sky’s begin to turn black. The lights of the tiny homes surrounding the neighborhood lit up the place and gave you room to see. It was a small neighborhood, in a small town. Far off into grass plains and farmers land. It was a very close knit community.

You sat on the porch of your tiny, wooden home, watching as kids from around the houses played in a small grass area, squealing as they fought for custody of a simple leather ball. You saw parents, watching from their own porches, smiling softly at their children. You smiled as well, just for how loving the community is, and the time off you get.

You worked in a bigger, busier town. As a waitress in a small restaurant, and came back home to your small, warm community full of humans and monsters alike.

Speaking of warm, a smell lifts into the air, from a small house nearby. Ah, you knew who that was. Horror, the big guy. He always cooked for everyone. He made stews, sandwiches and more for every person in this little neighborhood. Sometimes money was tight, and people didn’t have it for meals, but horror? He was a lifesaver.

Always volunteering, always wanting to help out with livestock, harvesting, and most importantly, food.

You smirk, getting up from your porch and making your way over to his house. As you walk your way up his porch with your boots clicking on the old wood, the door was open and you could hear the sound of wood and pot hitting against each other and a thoughtful hum from the big guy.

You lean onto the railing of his porch and call out,

“Heyya big guy, whatcha cookin up in there?” The sounds of the kitchen stop for a bit. You could hear a particular laugh of a kid who probably was running and being chased around.

Heavy steps make their way over before you could see his head, looking over the door frame that leads into the kitchen. His big red eye light was fixated on you, black dot in the middle going here to there slightly.

“..Gumbo.” He finally huffs out, “but… need.. help.” He was slow but careful with his words, seemingly shrinking into himself.

You hum, and walk all the way up the porch, going up to the doorframe and peaking inside.

“What do ya need help with?” You ask. He nods his head towards the kitchen and you take that as your invitation inside. You walk inside, looking around. It was relatively cozy! With a nice big couch and a shelf full of who knows what. When you make your way inside the kitchen you saw how.. neat it was. Pristine and organized.

Knives hung up against the wall, the stove clean and not rusty, cabinets polished, a light hung from above. On the stove you could see a giant pot with a wooden spoon. Then you could see Horror himself. He had an apron on that said ‘kiss the cook’ that you held in a laugh once you saw it. He wore a short sleeved white shirt that showed off his arm bones, and regular black pants.

You lean against the door frame and watch as he gets a spoonful of Gumbo in the wooden spoon and hold it out to.. you?

You take the invitation gladly, letting him feed you. Once you tasted it, you knew what was off. There wasn’t enough flavor. He brings the spoon back, watching your reaction. You hum and nod, looking off to the side befor starting back up, moving around him and grabbing the ingredient it needed most. Pepper.

You grab it and dash it into the pot, looking inside at the delicious gumbo, before gently grabbing the spoon from Horrors hand,grabbing a spoonful and giving it a taste before holding it out for horror to taste.

He does, and the black dot in the sea of red dilates happily. He hums and nods.

“Perfect. Thanks.. lamb chop.” He ruffles your hair and you stagger back, giggling.

“Aye! Hehe- your welcome big guy.” You pat his shoulder, moving around him and grabbing bowls, “can I help ya serve everyone?”

“Sure.”

And so that night you helped serve out bowls to everyone, giving them their fair share of Gumbo. You got yours, horror handing it to you once everyone was served. You took it, appreciating horror and his kindness and willingness to help. You sat on your porch, eating it happily as you stared up at the northern star, bright and beautiful.

Eventually Horror came up and sat next to you. The two of you talked to each other, finishing your bowls.

[vwbugggie]

Fame D.R. First Shift!

Hey y'all!!! Recently I've been seeing a lot of posts about living in the end or living as if you already have what it is that you want. Obviously what I want is to shift so I thought it'd be fun if a wrote out how my first shift wake up would go. So let's all just pretend for a second that I've shifted (OMG!!! CONGRATS BUGGIE!!!! THANK YOU BESTIES!!!! <333 :*)

Comments on my DR (opinions, ideas, etc.) are welcome as long as they are respectful towards me and others! Feel free to ask any questions!

If y’all with Fame DR’s (or any DR; but especially if we have DR’s in common) ever wanna chat my DM's are open, don't be shy! (No minors, sorry!)

Anti-shifters do not interact, I don't care what you think. If you are rude or disrespectful I will block you and delete your comment. I'm not going to argue with you because I simply don't care to. (If you see a rude or disrespectful comment before I can get to it I encourage you not to engage, ignore it, thanks!)

[Also for background we weren't famous when I first shifted, this was at the very beginning of My Chem. Bullets was barely in the works and Frank hadn't joined yet. I hadn't met him, but I did end up meeting him the first day I shifted at the party we went to.]

So this is how my first shift to my Fame D.R. went:

[The day after my two weeks ended and I was officially unemployed, October 1, 2001. I woke up when I felt the bed dip next to me. I kept my eyes closed and didn't move. I felt someone lightly rub my back and gently say]

Gee: Good morning, Bug. Me and Mikey have to go run some errands, afterwards we're gonna pick up Ray, then we'll all come pick you guys up. Then we'll head to the party, ok?

[He looked at me and waited for me to open my eyes.]

Buggie: Yeah, sure 

[I say as I flipped over trying hide the fact that I was freaking out.]

Gee: C’mon Bug, wakey wakey

Buggie: I’m awake

Gee: Prove it

[Finally I opened my eyes and saw Gee smiling down at me, I sat up.]

Buggie: Errands, pick up Ray, then me and Abbi, got it. What time should we be ready by?

Gee: Well we want to be there by eight ish, it's (checks watch) 10:00 so probably 7:00? Gives us enough to finish errands and eat something, sound ok? 

Buggie: Perfect

Gee: Oh, and eat something will you? Real food, not just a Coke. Abbi's cookin', we woulda stuck around and ate with ya, but we’re late

[I nodded my head and held out my arms (a bitch needed a hug fight me)]

Gee: Everything ok?

Buggie: [I nodded my head] Uh huh, I just had a bad dream, would you get Mikey before you guys leave? 

Gee: Sure, I’ll go get him

[I held on for a second, after I let go he stands. A few minutes later Mikey appeared in the doorway.]

Mikey: Hey kid, heard you had a bad dream

[He sits on the bed]

Buggie: Yeah, I just wanted to say bye

[I hugged him, he rubbed my back lightly to comfort me]

Mikey: Wanna talk about it?

Buggie: I’m ok, I don’t wanna make y’all more late

Mikey: Eh, what’s a few more minutes?

Buggie: Really it was nothing, I don’t even really remember it anymore 

Mikey: Ok, but if you need anything just call

Buggie: I will, I’ll see ya later

Mikey: See ya later, kid

The second that door closed I fully freaked out, questioning if this was real, doing reality checks, looking around, grabbing things, you know trying to make sure I was grounded. I was trying to contain my excitement and keep quiet cuz I didn't want to alarm anyone lol. After I somewhat composed myself I ran to my phone to check out my lifa app (yes that's something I kept from old shiftok lol) I explored it a bit, until I was calm, then I decided to go to the kitchen and have breakfast with Abbi.

Just a lil reminder this was me living in the end! I don't want y'all to think I'm lying or anything I just thought this would be fun and helpful for my journey :)

Anyway thanks for reading! Love y'all <3333

[verdantcrimson]

Preparations for the Future - 1

Writer: Suika

Season: Autumn

TL: verdantcrimson

Proofread: Saki

1 | 2

Kuro: Isara, Ritsu. Sorry to trouble you guys.

Mao: It’s cool. I had a day off today anyways.

Mao: Besides, It’s not everyday I get to eat Kiryu-senpai’s cooking, so it feels like I’m getting something out of this too ♪

Kuro: Haha, that sure is nice of ya to say.

Kuro: I’ve been studyin’ a couple of recipe books, but some of these dishes are my first attempts at makin’ em.

Kuro: They might not look all that pretty but… I’m gonna be cookin’ a whole bunch of dishes, so eat as much as ya can.

Ritsu: Appearances might be important, but what really matters is if it actually tastes good.

Ritsu: Don’t worry. I’ll sample them and give you my opinion.

Kuro: Sure. I’ll be countin’ on ya.

Kuro: … Then, let’s start off with the first dish. I don’t need any compliments, just your honest opinion.

Ritsu: Fufu. Then I’ll make sure not to hold back. Thank you for the meal. ♪

Mao: It looks like a suuuper tasty dish! That’s just what I’d expect from someone studying cooking ~ !

Kuro: All I did was follow the recipe, it ain’t anythin’ special.

Ritsu: ... Mhm, you’ve always been someone who cooks after all. It really is delicious. I give you my compliments. ♪

Mao: It’s so good! See, the meat just melts in your mouth doesn’t it? It doesn’t have an overpowering taste, so you can eat as much as you want ♪

Mao: If you can cook this well already, I don’t think you have to worry about appearing on a cooking show, right?

Kuro: Thanks. That’s a relief to hear.

Ritsu: Hmm~. But you know, it’s odd to see Kurocchi on a cooking show.

Mao: Ah, I thought so too.

Mao: Kiryu-senpai… Could it just be because AKATSUKI is a serious unit that values more traditional performance arts?

Mao: I can’t really imagine them being on a regular cooking show…

Mao: I don’t mean any offense, but I thought Kiryu-senpai was trying something new to challenge himself.

Kuro: I get what you’re tryin’ to say, about a change in attitude and all.

Kuro: Actually, I was thinkin’ the same thing. If you had asked me a while before, I woulda said no.

Mao: If that’s the case, then why exactly did you accept this job?

Kuro: It was a coincidence. … Originally, there was supposed to be a completely different idol on this cookin’ show.

Kuro: Seems like there was a sudden change in that idol’s schedule, so they couldn’t make it.

Kuro: There was a vacancy, so I offered to lend a hand ‘cause they needed someone.

Ritsu: So that’s why you got the job. Could it be that you’ve actually wanted to appear on a cooking show for some time now?

Kuro: It’s not like I didn’t have any interest. More like I didn’t have any strong feelings about bein’ on one. 

Ritsu: I see~. Could it be that you wanted to gain favor with your superiors then? Anija was doing that too.

Ritsu: That’s how it is in Kurocchi’s agency, right?

Kuro: That ain’t why I took on this job though… It was for a much nicer reason.

Kuro: That’s why I asked the little miss for a bit of a push.

Kuro: And conveniently, I happened to be discussin’ the Feature Live with her.

Mao: Now that you mention it, Kanzaki was talking about how Kiryu-senpai had been asked to perform in a Feature Live pretty happily the other day.

Kuro: Haha, I can’t let that guy down, so I guess I gotta put on a good show. ♪ 

Kuro: Whoops, got off topic there. In any case, I’m doin’ this job of my own volition.

Kuro: That’s why I’d like to do it properly…  Anyways, I’ve got another dish for you to try out.

Mao: That’s fast!? It looks fancy too……

Mao: If it means getting to eat food this good, I’ll gladly help out. ♪

Mao: If you want, I could call someone else to do a taste test too. I’m sure that Subaru guy would be thrilled to help.

Kuro: That’d be nice. I’d like to get as many opinions as possible. Ask him to come if he can make it.

Kuro: Actually, I’ve called in someone knowledgeable to help out too. You know what they say, about how you gotta leave it to the experts. ♪

Ritsu: In the case of food, the ‘expert’ in question would be…

Niki: Sorry for being late, Kiryu-kun.

Kuro: Haven’t been waitin’ long at all. We’re still on the appetizers.

Kuro: I ought to be thankin’ ya, sorry for callin’ you over.

Niki: No sweat! You can always count on me to taste test food ♪

Kuro: Nah, I didn’t just call you to taste the food. Shiina was gonna teach me how to cook, right?

Niki: Nahah! I knew that already!

Ritsu: So you were talking about Nikipyon after all~. There’s nobody better.

Niki: That makes me happy to hear, Ritsu-kun. Since I’ve been specially called, I’ll do my best!

Mitsuru: Kiryuuu-senpai! Are you gonna feed us yummy food!?

Sora: HaHa~! Sora is also here to eat Red onii-san’s cooking!

Niki: Oh, that’s right! I ran into Tenma-kun and Harukawa-kun on the way here, so I asked them to be taste testers!

Kuro: Ah, welcome. I just finished cookin’ a dish, so you can go ahead and dig in.

Ritsu: It suddenly got crowded~

Mao: I mean, this is a four-person room, but it is pretty cramped right now, isn’t it?

Kuro: Right. I was plannin’ on moving to the kitchen to cook when Shiina arrived, so let’s move there.

Niki: Alrighty, let’s all work together and bring the food over there~

Mitsuru: Then I’ll take this plate~!

Sora: Hihi~. Sora is looking forward to eating with everyone~♪

Kuro: Hm? ……Sorry, that’d be my phone. Could you guys go ahead to the kitchen without me?

Mao: Gotcha. Then, we’ll just eat while we wait for you.

Kuro: …… Yo, little miss. Are you doin’ alright? It’s not a problem.

Kuro: So you’re contactin’ me to discuss the Feature Live?

Kuro: Sounds like that’d be a hit. ♪

Kuro: So you’ve got some details about the contents of the live show and wanted to share materials with me?

Kuro: Gotcha, that day oughta be free accordin’ to my schedule. I’ll meet ya at the office then.

Kuro: Oh also, about that cookin’ show, thanks for givin’ me the opportunity for that job.

Kuro: You’re sayin’ that you’re the one that asked for my help and that you’re glad I volunteered to take the other idol’s place?

Kuro: I’m glad I could help ya out, little miss.

Kuro: Studyin’ how to cook? So the little miss heard. Actually just a few minutes ago I was havin’ people taste test the food I made.

Kuro: You also heard that I was practicin’ for the show passionately…?

Kuro: Well, s’pose that might be true…… Could say I had a little change of heart.

Kuro: I’ll do my best so that you can say that you’re glad you left this job up to me, little miss. Just watch me. ♪

[the-faramir]

Niji-iro Midori: The Reluctant Ringmaster

Chapter 6: The Circus of Wayward Wonders

On reaching the Circus of Wayward Wonders, the Celestial Menagerie refugees reunited with their long-lost comrades and met all of the new additions to the circus who had come from other places. The performers met with the ringmaster, Myron “Thunder” Stendhal, to figure out how to integrate their acts with the new schedule, while the support workers found their new assignments. As the circus performances had not yet started, they also reached out to the town of Abberton to take odd jobs to bring in a little income for food and supplies.

Myron and his circus co-founder, Professor Zarlian Kyosophus, warned the Celestial Menagerie refugees not to go around town stealing. “You don’t want to sully the Circus’ reputation. And we refuse to run this show like Dusklight ran hers!”

During downtime, Brondin Stonehammer and some of the existing security guards teamed up to provide basic weapons training to the crew, ensuring that they would be able to hold their own in an actual fight. Bufurug also taught some basics of first aid and healing wounds. Even the Professor took time to educate the group on circus history.

Myron gave Midori the responsibility of advertising the circus in the town, selling tickets, providing information in general, and welcoming audience members to the nightly performances. They even worked out a way for Midori to show off her singing voice, following Myron’s performance introduction with customized songs to introduce the acts.

After a few days, Midori noticed that Bufurug was making no effort to settle in and join the cooking crew. One afternoon, she saw him and some of the others packing up and preparing to go on a journey.

“Apologies, Midori, but I cannot stay. Too much has been happening around the island, and I feel that it is my responsibility to help restore the environment to its former lush glory. I shall be making the pilgrimage to the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning. Harlock Hamdeel is the leader there, and I hope to spend some time with him learning everything that he knows about the aeon orbs’ failure.”

Midori leaned down to give her old friend a hug. “I’ll miss ya. Won’t be the same without ya. An’,” her eyes opened widely, starting to mist over with tears, “well, I’ll also miss your cookin’.”

Bufurug chuckled. “I did hand off some recipe cards to Larry. He will take care of you all, food-wise.”

Midori looked over to Brondin, who was securing his backpack. “Brondin, too? Who will keep trainin’ us?”

Brondin replies, “The security team can help in my absence. I need to make sure this lot makes it through the wilderness without trouble. They’re pretty green.”

Midori turned to Itty-Bitty. “You’re goin’ with ‘em, too?”

Itty-Bitty "I weren't much help back there in the forest with that spinesnapper guy." She rubbed her still-healing shoulder in apology. “I need t’ get better at fightin'. Brondin said 'e'd teach me. So I'm goin' with 'im and Boof. It ain't far, but I gotta lay off performin' while I learn. We'll keep in touch!”

Itty-Bitty picked Midori up off of the ground in a huge bear hug. “See ya, Squirt. Whoo! Yer smellin' a bit ripe. Maybe take a bath or somethin'?”

“Ha ha, what? I just took a bath. Remember? Last week at The Miners’ Den. With a whole bottle o' shampoo and everything!” Itty-Bitty returned Midori to her feet.

Hearing the exchange, Myron came over to Midori. “A moment, please?” He leaned down to her and started whispering in her ear.

Midori nodded and responded as Myron whispered. “Uh-huh.... Yeah.... 'Polite society,' sure.... 'High Gene?' Who is this 'Gene' fella? .... Oh. I see.” Midori’s eyes shifted back and forth from right to left. “Well, see ya 'round, Big Sis. I'll miss ya. Well, now I, uh, have a thing to do.” She turned and sprinted toward the washrooms.

Satisfied with the conversation, Myron straightened up and shook hands with the departing group.

The next month gave the circus much time for practicing and performing for the locals. However, bad news began to filter in. Many of the local crops had begun to die off and fail. The meager harvests were even more meager than the preceding years. Morale around the town was beginning to falter. The townsfolk were certainly in need of some quality entertainment!

At last, the time had come: opening night. The Circus of Wayward Wonders stood ready to start off their first performance! Audience members began to file in through the entrance, filling the big top to capacity, unaware of what was about to unfold….

Chapter 1: We Are On a Diplomatic Mission to Absalom

Chapter 2: The Circus Arrives Without Warning

Chapter 3: Hi-Diddle-De-Dee, a Carny's Life for Me

Chapter 4: Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

Chapter 5: One Does Not Simply Walk Into Abberton

[slashingdisneypasta]

We need to get back to the OG, Goofy and fun universe of the Toon Patrol. I've corrupted them enough XD I figure the best reintroduction on my end is to offer this;

This. This is the Toon Patrol with Greasy and his Amazing Cook S/O I sent asks for last year. Usually the guys don't pay much attention to Greasy's relationship because A) they usually don't last too long, and B) they're still getting used to this new person in the group *cough* sniffing them out to see if they're worthy of rolling with the group. But then Cook!S/O came rolling in with their homemade food and now nobody wants Greasy and Y/N to break up XD

Corruption is fun but a certain balance is needed, we can agree XD

Omg you know Psycho would be the first to volunteer the moment that Greasy does something to possibly hurt his S/O that they all love XD Like oh!!! Oh!! Yes yes yes!! Me!! Let me hit him!!! *arm up in the air, waiving around all crazy* Let me hit him p l e a s e!!!!!

Meanwhile Wheezy will just give a huff of a sigh, walk over and give Greasy the biggest casual/formal thump in the jaw of his life. "Eyes up, man."

Smartass is so frustrated and exasperated. Do you wanna start cookin for us again!??? Ya wanna have Psycho and Stupid botherin ya in the kitchen and Wheezy sayin nothin tastes like anything again??? That what you want!?? Fucking hell.

Greasy tries to sweet talk/beg Stupid into not hitting him, desperately promising cookies and saying he looks so handsome today (did you d-do something with your fur today Stu??? It looks muy muy muy guapo- ) and Stu does go, for a moment, like 'oh but Boss do I have to hit him??'- but in the end, he does it and uhhh

Let's just say there's a very obvious reason Stupid is the last resort XD

[thatlovinfeelin]

Little Did I Know - one - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Katherin 'Kate' Buckley lived and worked on the Seresin Family Ranch her whole life. Now she has the pleasure of helping run it. She loves her way of life, loves the simplicity of it. That is, until Jake Sersesin shows back up, looking extremely worse for wear. Slowly, Kate learns that she knows nothing about the man she used to call her best friend anymore. Meanwhile, Jake realizes he doesn't know how to live this kind of life anymore.

Kate loved the gentle rolling hills of the ranch. The lush wild grass that spanned the hundreds of acres and the call of the cattle or occasional whinny of one of the horses. All of it was home to her, she knew every inch of the ranch like the back of her hand. She was raised in a small house about three miles from the main house, much closer to the barns and bunkhouses. Her father used to run the ranch until his physical health declined enough that he wasn’t able to see to the day to day operations involving all of the ranch hands. Now that was Kate’s job, and she loved it. 

She shifted in the saddle slightly before urging her mare forward, “C’mon Echo, we should make it back to the house before dark. Mama said she wanted to see me.”

The two sped across the open space. Kate let go of her reins for a moment, throwing her arms open. Now that she was the boss and in charge of a dozen men she didn’t get the chance to just enjoy going for a ride. But she had the excuse since she needed to check the western fence. 

Kate gently pulled on the reins to bring Echo to a halt when they reached the small two bedroom house twenty minutes later. Her childhood home was nothing compared to the large house that the ranch owners lived in. But she loved the cozy nature of it. 

“Stay here, I’ll be back,” She tied the mare up to the post in the yard before patting the neck of her mare.

Echo was hers from the moment the little filly was born. That was nearly six years ago. She was there for her birth and trained her. The pair were bonded in ways that she wouldn’t be able to put into words. She wasn’t sure she would ever want to ride the ranch without her Echo. 

“Mama? Daddy? Y’all in here?”

“In the kitchen Katherin!” 

Kate made sure she wiped her boots on the rug and hung her hat on one of the pegs before trudging into the house. She didn’t feel like getting a lecture from her mother tonight. Her father was sitting at the small table in the corner, while her mother was dishing something into a few Tupperware containers. 

“Is the fence still okay?” Her father asked, looking up from his cup of coffee. 

“Not a hole sir,” She replied, tipping her head, “Dustin is supposed to drive the herd to the western fields tomorrow with Adam and Paul.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“Honey, can you do me a favor and take this over to the guest house?” Her mother questioned, stacking the containers and slipping them into a travel bag. 

“On Echo? Mama, do you want me to give them some kind of scrambled version of your cookin?”

“Take the south trail, you’ll cut down on half the ride,” Her father suggested. 

“Why do I need to take anything to the guest house anyway? If the Seresins have visitors surely they’ll send food from their cook?”

“This was requested,” Her mom smiled gently, “It’s an old family friend, you just have to knock and leave it at the door. It’s nearly on your way back to the barn anyway. Please honey?”

Kate sighed and picked up the bag, “Is there extra for me?”

“I’ll have leftovers for you to take tomorrow, how’s that?”

She leaned over to kiss her mother’s cheek, “Works for me, thank you mama. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Wanna try and get back in before dark, the damn coyotes have been back out again.”

“I’ll speak with Mr. Seresin about it tomorrow, might be time to hunt them again,” Her father spoke again. 

“Let me know, CJ has a hell of an aim and is itching to shoot again,” She laughed, “I’ll make sure to let y’all know when I make it back.”

The guest house was still a good distance from the Seresins main house. Most of the time, if they had guests that would simply stay in the main house. Only the people that wanted more privacy opted for the guest house, which still sat a mile away from the main house. Simply put, it was in the middle of the main house and the house that Kate once called home. But even then, it was still far enough from the real operations of the ranch so the guests would be comfortable.

This time, Kate left Echo loose as she untied the bag from her saddle and made her way up the few steps onto the porch. The guest house wasn’t exactly modest, but was drastically smaller compared to the main house. In comparison, the guest house was a small cabin, and her own house might as well have been a trailer. 

She knocked on the door and set the bag down. But the sound of movement made her stop. She was only two steps away from the door before it swung open, filling the porch with a soft yellow light. 

“Thank you, I’m starving,” The voice sent a cold chill through Kate’s body. 

It was so familiar yet almost unrecognizable at the same time. Kate closed her eyes, wishing she didn’t have to turn around to face him. How long has it been since he was last on the ranch? When was the last time she even talked to him? When they were eighteen? Before he left for college? All of these years he stayed away, she had to take on his responsibility to the ranch. She stepped up to do what he refused to. 

“There’s enough in there to last a week,” She replied, still not turning to face him. 

She wasn’t sure if she could look at him. He used to make her go weak in the knees, would he still make her feel that way? Maybe she was lucky, maybe she grew out of her childhood crush on him. 

“Katie?” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat before removing her hat and turning around. The air was knocked out of her, but for a different reason. He looked awful. Dark shadows under his eyes, bruised and small cuts across his face and neck. Her eyes drifted down, he had a boot on one foot, and he was leaning against the door frame so as to not put any pressure on it. 

“Jake,” She breathed out, the name coming out more like a sigh. She hated the way her voice sounded at that moment.

He looked down at himself before shrugging, “I’ve looked worse. Thanks again for bringing the food. Send my compliments to your mother.”

He reached down to pick up the bag before hopping back and shutting the door. The second it was shut, any sort of pity that ran through Kate’s body vanished. Echo snorted on the lawn as she grazed. Kate had to fight against grinding her teeth. Her peaceful existence seemed to be over, thanks to the banged up man in the house behind her. 

All these years she never knew where he was, or knew what he was doing. She was okay with that. Jake made his choice, and chose not to include her in his life after he moved away for school. She picked up the pieces and worked like hell on the ranch. She made her life, and he wasn’t about to come waltzing back into it. She wouldn’t let him.

[ratsoh-writes]

Cali snorted and crossed her arms, leaning on the couch arm to see the two monsters, “you guys.. seriously need to take some cookin’ classes. Or maybe I’m just not familiar with this time of cooking. Y’all should name it, it’s like your own, very, very petrifying and extreme way of making the most epic food known to monster and mankind.” She teased.

Papyrus puts his hands on his hips

Papyrus: I KNOW HOW TO COOK PROPERLY TOO! EXTREME COOKING IS JUST MORE FUN

Undyne: DAMN STRAIGHT!!! TOMATOES PULVERIZED BY FIST TASTE WAYYY BETTER!!

As they bicker together about the most extreme way to cook, you hear the kitchen door open and see a sleepy looking sans standing in the doorway. He’s adorable in his Red Hot Chili Peppers tshirt and his Cookie Monster pajama pants

[invisibleraven]

baking a birthday cake together / rulie

Reggie ambled into the Molina kitchen, and froze when he saw the covered counters and Julie standing in the middle of it. Her hair was up in a messy bun and an apron covering her clothes.

"Hey Jules, what's cookin' good lookin'?" Reggie asked.

Julie turned and had a somewhat harried look on her face. "Hey Reg. It's papi's birthday, and I told Tia I would handle the cake since she's doing the food and Carlos is decorating. But I have no clue what I'm doing."

"You want some help?" Reggie offered. "I'm a fair hand in the kitchen, I helped my MeeMaw enough times."

"Would you?" Julie asked, her shoulders slumping in relief. "I would love you forever."

Reggie hoped his cheeks hadn't instantly flamed at that, but given his tendency to blush, he figured it was a lost cause. So he did what he always did to deflect-made a joke. "You mean you don't already?"

Julie rolled her eyes and tossed another apron at his head. Reggie caught it and tied it around his waist. "Okay, so what kind of cake are we doing?"

Julie showed him the recipe for the Tres Leches cake, a favourite in the Molina household. Reggie had never made one before but it didn't look terribly difficult. He looked at the pile of ingredients littering the countertops and hummed. "First things first, look at the recipe and put away whatever we don't need. I'll pre heat the oven and start separating the eggs."

They started working side by side, and while Julie was less experienced, Reggie didn't mind guiding her on how to measure properly and even let her have the bowl to lick out. She scrunched her nose at that though. "That is a one way ticket to salmonella town, no thank you."

"You mean you don't know the joy of licking the bowl?" Reggie asked. "I used to do it all the time, no ill effects yet."

"I think I'd rather not take chances," Julie retorted. "Especially prompted by the guy who spent a weekend in hospital after eating dodgy street dogs."

Reggie winced at the memory. "Man, Sam and Ella did us dirty that day, I will admit, but that was meat-no delicious cake batter."

"I'm still good," Julie replied.

"More for me," Reggie said with a shrug, reaching in to get a scoop of the batter, but Julie stayed his hand.

"Nope, you still have to help me with this cake, you can poison yourself later."

"Fiiiiiiine," he sighed, putting the bowl down and helping Julie get the cake tin in the oven. "We can make the milk mixture while the cake is cooling, and then we have to fridge it for a bit to let it soak. We can do the whipped cream then."

"Sounds good," Julie nodded, "Means we have lots of time to do the dishes."

"Ugh, the worst part of baking," Reggie groaned.

"I know, but necessary," Julie agreed. "You can tell me about your baking exploits with MeeMaw while you dry, how's that?"

Reggie grinned, and found for once he didn't mind the dishes so much, Julie and him chatting the whole time, laughing over stories together to the point that they barely heard the timer go off.

"Time flies when you're having fun I guess," Julie said as she got the tin out of the oven, laying it down on the range to cool. "Let's finish those dishes."

And maybe Reggie convinced her to lick the milk mixture bowl-hey, no chance of catching anything there right? But he so wasn't sharing the whipped cream one.

"Oh come on! It's my cream!" Julie protested, chasing him around the kitchen, scowling as he held it above her head.

"Oh yeah, what'll you give me for it?" Reggie asked, waggling his eyebrows.

She grabbed his necklace and pulled him down so they were nose to nose, making Reggie gulp. His arms lowered, caging her in. "Maybe we can share?" he whispered, eyes gazing at her lips.

"Maybe we can," Julie replied, leaning in and giving him the tiniest of pecks before pulling back, and snatching the bowl from his limp fingers. "But you'll have to catch me first!"

Reggie giggled as Julie dashed off, and he took off after her, catching her pretty easily due to his longer legs, hugging her tight and placing the bowl off to the side. "You tease."

"Moi?" Julie asked, the laughter still in her voice, her eyes shining.

"Yeah, you," Reggie said, tilting her chin up, searching to make sure this was okay. But the light never faded, her smile still brillant. So he closed the distance between them, sharing a sweet kiss-even better than the whipped cream that they had made.

Well he assumed, because after a kiss like that, he totally let Julie have the bowl. He figured he could wait for the cake to taste it. Well that is until Julie smeared it on him only to kiss it off his lips, and well, Reggie would have to say, it was pretty darn good-but Julie was better.

[presidentbungus]

I don’t feel like writing something new but I don’t think I ever posted this on tumble so here’s the thanksgiving fic i wrote last year lol. pretend I just wrote it REALLY REALLY fast in the last 10 minutes, capiche? you got it

team fortress generic thanksgiving fanfiction. 1494 words

ao3

Thanksgiving here’s not really like it used to be back home. Dell used to help around with cooking, sure, but he never really found himself in front of the stove for three straight hours as he tried to pull together a feast from, relatively, scraps. One man here eats enough for nine, times nine because there’s eight other guys besides him, and Sniper and Scout are so skinny he’s not sure how they even fit that much food in their stomachs—

Agh. Timer. Engineer stops it and tugs the pan of candied pecans out of the oven—a Thanksgiving tradition that had to be abided by, naturally, even if it used up most of the sugar stores. Demo’s currently at the market in Teufort for more, anyway, plus bread for stuffing and eggs and packs of gravy and about a dozen more sticks of butter and Engineer told him not to but realistically he’s going to come back down with a few crates of beer too, which Dell has prepared for by having a few now since they’ll be very restocked later.

Scout comes over and tries to snatch a nut off the tray and he promptly drops it on the floor and complains about it being hot, to which Engineer says it just came out of the oven and what did I tell you you were supposed to be doing?

Um, Scout replies, sucking on the tip of his thumb. Mashing potatoes I think.

You think? Get on, it’s 4:00 already and we don’t even have the turkey out. Scout gets on. Earlier today he walked into the kitchen and did that little laugh-snort he does when he’s about to smartass up to ya, and he said Engie looked like a housewife in that dumb little apron of his, cookin’ along. And Dell turned around and said ain’t nothin’ wrong with housewives, me or my apron, boy, they’re all important things. And he’d been planning to rope Scout in anyway—important to give him responsibilities, he’s young enough that kinda thing’ll benefit his work ethic later (and also he didn’t want to have to finish the rest of this alone), so he waved at Scout and handed him the spatula and told him to stir up the cranberry sauce while he got to work on the green-bean casserole.

What else has to be made at this point? Cranberry sauce, potatoes, nuts, one bowl of stuffing while he waits on the rest of the bread to get here, that’s all done, and the sweet potato and green bean casseroles, respectively, are working out in the oven. Soldier’s out in the backyard smoking the turkey—smoking probably being a weak word for whatever he’s doing, but that’s why Engineer has another one prepared to go in the oven whenever he hears something explode outside, and Demo’s gonna make a cheesecake, and Heavy’s in the rec room waiting to take the place of Scout and make whatever he said he'd make; soup or something, probably. And Pyro’s also gonna make some kind of baked dessert too, come to think of it (at least given whatever they attempted to communicate to Engineer a few minutes ago)—and last year Medic brought some oddly-shaped pink thing that bled and squelched when you cut into it and nobody asked about that or, in extension, took a bite, so he’s probably not gonna be helping this year. 

Scout taps Engineer’s shoulder and says he’s done, and he goes to examine the bowl and it’s actually well-mashed, which is certainly a welcome surprise—Dell wonders if he’s done this before. He thanks Scout, says he doesn’t need anything else for now but keep an ear out, and Scout legitimately breaks out at a full sprint leaving the kitchen and almost throws the bowl onto the floor but Engineer barely manages to save it as Heavy falls in right after him.

Dell says hi. Heavy says hi. Heavy says: what is occasion?

Thanksgiving, I guess. Pilgrims or something. Dell takes off the glove on his gunslinger and dips a metal finger into the mashed potatoes and licks it off and runs it under water, muttering: It doesn’t really matter.

But there is feast?

Heavy asks this question every year, always sounding very worried. Yeah, Engineer always says. You wanted to make stew or something?

Yes. Recipe of family. Sisters say it is very delicious.

A glance at the egg timer by the stove—eleven minutes, around. Enough to get out of the heat and sit down and maybe catch a bit of the Macy’s parade if anyone bothered to record it. 

He steps back and rubs his face and smiles. Well, I’ll be back in about ten. The kitchen’s all yours before then.

————

Something about seein’ the spread all neat-like down the table—that’s when it clicks, that’s when it becomes worth it—the whole day and the sweltering heat and his disintegrating knees and all. Especially when Sniper and Spy come and sit down, after everyone else, but it still feels like such a victory when they otherwise wouldn’t come to investigate if the whole base went and burned to the ground.

The food isn’t great, which was mostly expected—what remains of the turkey is charred and nearly wholly inedible (though Soldier insists on pushing a big helping of it on everyone who doesn’t manage to snap up their plates in time), and everything else is mainly a fault of the dirt-cheap ingredients used in the making—Heavy’s soup is delicious as usual, however, and is the first thing to vanish from the table as everyone scrambles to get a few bowls of it before it’s gone.

Things calm down after that. Idle chatter, lots of beers being passed around (Engineer’s prediction about Demo’s grocery shopping habits was wholly correct); Demo disappears into the kitchen for a bit, along with Pyro, and twenty minutes they come out with a cheesecake and brownie tray respectively and everyone cheers. The cheesecake is unfortunately dropped on the floor in the resulting wrestling match between Heavy, Soldier, and Demo (Scout will later say he was a part of it and basically won, though everyone remembers him just kind of standing at the edge of the conflict and looking vaguely afraid), but thankfully Demo is able to guard it well enough that no one stomps on it and the five second rule exists for a reason and a slice is still divvied out to everyone who still has even the slightest trace of an appetite.

It’s just the photo after that—Engie insists, despite a slew of protests. Somethin’ to send home to their families (or hang on the fridge to embarrass everyone for years to come; same difference). Spy makes himself scarce but Soldier has the nose of a bloodhound and he comes back ten minutes later with Spy in tow, looking somewhat ashamed of himself. The whole room smells like sweat and meat and the slightest hint of chocolate, and everyone looks about ready to pass out—and is it really a holiday photo if that’s not the case? Corralling everyone together and getting them to sit still and hold some semblance of civility for at least like five seconds takes another twenty minutes since Demo and Soldier get in a wrestling match every ten seconds and Spy keeps trying to get out of things and Engineer puts Heavy in charge of watching him to make sure he doesn’t cloak and run and nobody ever sees him again. Medic and Sniper sit in the corner and talk quietly. Engineer brings them up as an example of what actual adults act like and then Scout says how he can still feel a bird flapping against his ribcage sometimes and the whole room goes silent and maybe it’s time to get the photo, come to think of it.

Scout is making a face and Soldier’s head is shoved into Demo’s armpit and Spy is gone and Sniper looks like he’s dozing off and Medic has got himself covered in blood again for some goddamn reason and there Engineer is, in the center of it all, grinning as a cyclone hurricane happens behind him. The photo’s terrible, there’s no real doubt about that, and he’s probably gonna have to retake another one at some point where everybody’s not already fed up with each other, but Engineer still finds himself smiling every time he looks at it regardless—this is miles more accurate than the stock preposed all smiles holiday card kinda picture will ever be, anyway. They're kooky idiots, they are, who are incapable of things they probably should be wholly capable of, but at the end of the day they're his kooky idiots and he can't help but feel pride for each and every one of them.

Yeah, not much like back home in the slightest. Engineer wouldn’t really have it any other way

[pearl-blue-musings]

My beautiful Elle 🖤🖤🖤

For your post:

Favorite Character: you know I’m gonna stick with my favorite guy Osamu 🖤

Favorite drink and snack: I’m gonna go with any sweet white wine and a variation of fruit.

What brings me comfort: cooking which also works great with him.

Do I want it suggestive? Always. That’s my husband and I can’t keep my hands off him.

Hi Belle!!! 💜💜 and thank you for joining aaahhhhh

Here you go my love!

“Did ya put it all in the oven?”

You smile at him over the phone as you set the timer on the oven for the allotted time. “Yeah babe,” you say into the speaker, “I followed your instructions. Samu you didn’t have to do this for me.”

You hear him chuckle on the other side and put something down. Presumably, a cooking utensil. You walk to the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of white moscato and get yourself a glass as well as a handful of berries to tide you over until dinner. You take a yummy bite and hum in content.

“Are ya spoilin’ yer dinner?”

You put the fruit down and quickly swallow. “N-no,” you stutter and try to hide a giggle. Osamu sighs on the other line and you can tell he switched off his speaker phone.

“I miss ya, sweetheart.”

The deep sadness and longing can be felt in how he called you sweetheart. Your heartaches to be near him again and you lean against the counter. “I miss you too, Samu.” A soft hum and some ruffling is heard in the background as you take a sip of wine. “You’re only there for three more months right?”

“Mhmm, then I’ll be back home with ya. As happy as I am ta be at this cookin’ school fer a year, I sure as hell miss ya.” There’s a slight pant and deep breath in his words making you stand up from the counter. Yet he two of you always had a knack for knowing each others needs obscenely well. And you could tell just what he’s feeling.

You bite your lip and lower your voice, “how much do you miss me?”

He growls into the phone and you hear him shuffle his pants. “So much so I’m makin’ dinner with ya at 1 in the mornin,” he breathes again before rumbling out. “And yer voice got me so hard darlin’.” Hearing him say that does something to you as you tighten your thighs together, breathing sharply into your nose. “Are ya gettin’ horny too? I need ta hear it.”

You swallow a lump in your throat as you nod. “Y-yes, I wanna touch myself, Samu.” He hisses a fuck before looking at the timer and sees there’s 20 minutes left.

“Plenty of time, how’s that wine you’re drinkin’? Tell me what it tastes like.”

You do as he says and take another sip, opening your mouth after you swallow. “It’s so sweet, tastes of peaches and mixed berries.”

“Fuck, ya know I love to lick that wine off of ya.” Osamu unzips his pants and takes out his hard cock, carefully wrapping his fingers around it. “Especially when I lay ya down and pour it on yer body, sippin’ and kissin’ all the way down to yer pussy. Makes it taste sweeter.”

You feel your cunt throb in want as you play with your folds, waiting for his next command. “Please, can I finger myself now?”

“Nah, ya gotta save it for after dinner. Don’t want our food tastin’ of yer insides.

“That’s only fer me.”