#the first step to half-decade hangover...........

[effervescent-fool]

im beinng normal about will wood again dw guys im so very normal haha

[kkshowtunes]

In Case I Die as rats

[static-scribblez]

Just drove back home, had Will Wood / WWATT on shuffle (because ofc I did) and ended up listening to The First Step, EIAL (the song) and Half-Decade Hangover in that order and now I have an overwhelming urge to write an essay abt it

[ajearthlinggg]

exposing you based on your fav will wood/wwatt song (my longest post)

A lot of these have nothing to do with the song. They're basically headcannons lmao. My Blake Jennings is showing

No instrumental chnt except Rhumba sorry

i started this in June enjoy

EIAL

6up 5oh copout: its low hanging fruit to say you hate cops, and I'm taking it. You hate cops.

Skeleton Appreciation whatever the fuck: Covid RUINED you

Front Street: you like Heathers

Aikido!: how's that obsessiveness and inability to let go going?

White Knuckle Jerk: you also like nu metal for the same reason. (Its incredibly horny)

Cover This Song: same as Aikido but only with your exes omg do not text them they are assholes

Thermodynamic Lawyer: PLEASE take time to calm down when you get overstimulated I promise if you don't do anything abt it you will have such a terrible mental breakdown

Red Moon: YOU LISTEN TO MALE MANIPULATOR MUSIC STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT YOU CANT BE IN THE RADIOHEAD CLOSET FOREVER

Lysergide daydream: I honestly do not like this song at all so you get a pass (don't kill me)

The First Step: you're usually quiet but you know how to SCREAM.

Jimmy Mushroom: you're usually quiet but- I'm just kidding. You're always quiet

Chemical Overreaction: you're usually quiet but if- I'm just kidding. You are never quiet

Everything is a lot/dte: insomnia. I dont know why,but insomnia

Self-ish

self/ish: closet theatre kid

2012: fast talker to a not comprehendible level

Cotard Solution: turn off the v-sauce it is 2 am

Mr. Capgras: turn off the 🌽 it is 2 am

The Song With Five Names: you have incredible taste. You can't describe that taste, but hey, its incredible

Hand me my shovel: you were the only talented kid in your elementary music class

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: you love the smell of cigarettes

TNA

Suburbia overture: BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD

222: your English teacher loves you (you're so goddamn gay)

Laplace's Angel: your English teacher hates you. How do I know? Because you can't pronounce anything (its la-plass-es not la-place-is)

i/me/myself: you have to beat off the fake fan allegations with a stick everyday

Wbtta: hey queen. How are those hyperfixations going

Outliars and hyppocrates: you spell the title wrong every. damn. time.

bbw: same as 2012 but holy shit triple it.

Marsha, thankk you: dyslexia and ADHD

Love, me normally: I get it. I'm not even gonna expose you. You already have it bad enough

Momento Mori: you are just SO quirky! (knives whisper things to you when you hold them)

Icimi

Tomcat Disposables: you'd shove photos of your pets in your friends faces even if they were dangling off a bridge

Becoming the last names: you either have wonderful parents in a happy relationship or your parents have been divorced for years and you will never relate to this song

Cicada Days: stop using self deprecating humor around the wrong people PLEASE

Euthanasia: this song is a masterpiece I have nothing to say about you.

Falling Up: WONDERFUL TASTE. AMAZING CHOICE. NO RECOLLECTION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD.

That's enough: you love Alex g you just don't know it yet

Um its kind of a lot: you either already love Scott pilgrim or it will happen. Its a canon event

Half decade hangover: omg twinn!! I have an addictive personality, too!

(I feel like this is a good time to say don't take these too seriously)

You liked this: ...what?

The main character: you can't relate to the song, you hate yourself

Sdrr: IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON TAKING THIS SONG SUPER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT YDHZJABXV

Bfb: ur just a silly lil guy

Willard!: you're a therian. There is no human explanation to this.

white noise: you love pink floyd you just don't know it yet

Atkf: HOW TF DID I FORGET THIS ONE anyways you get bad habits (nail biting, staying up too late. Etc)

CHNT

Yes to err: you are still waiting for chnt season 2 BC you want to see what happens with Adam

Your body, my temple: I have a strong feeling you have a tummy ache right now

Venetian Blind Man: you love nobody sexually you just don't know it yet (this is a very ace choice idk why)

Rhumba of Death: you LOVE Halloween

When Somebody Needs You: Tyler the Creator is probably your favorite rapper

Live

Trww

Self/ish: You can't sleep if your room has the SLIGHTEST amount of light in it

10-4 6-up: unlike the original, you don't just hate cops, you hate anybody who can tell you what to do (your teachers are probably just trying to do their job. please)

Cotards Solution: you can't sleep without background noise

Dr Sunshine Lives!: You never get sick physically (mentally on the other hand...)

Where do you get off: omg the horniest of the horny. Gerard Way on stage levels of horny. Nine Inch Nails levels of horny. (Or you really like Umbrella Academy idk why)

Aikido: you can't relate to it. You hate everybody

Take a break grab some water this is getting long

Thermodynamic Lawyer: you have gotten kicked out of restaurants because of how loud you are

Front Street: WE GET IT. IT'S BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Wasting away again: I am so sorry holy shit

Hand me my (x), I'm (y): you suck at algebra

The First Step: you wish you could do the AUGHHHHHHHH

2012: severe social anxiety

Mr capgras: literally the opposite of 2012 (live)

Chemical Overreaction: you know so many random fun facts

Fibrodysplasia: I'm not even gonna talk about your mental issues because I will be banned from this app (which is pretty much impossible)

Icid

Cicada Days: you also get a pass fuck I'm so sorry

The main character okay you ACTUALLY can relate to it

Icimi: OMG I LOVE YOU

atkf: you cry every day even if you aren't sad

Becoming the last names: please don't become a Disney adult

Vampire ref: LISTEN TO MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF AND IK YOU LOVE HOT VAMPIRE MUSIC

Half decade hangover: oh my god talk to somebody it'll be okay I'm so sorry

Tsw5n: you love the way he says "what the fuck"

Euthanasia: once again, ANOTHER PASS. IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY

Jimmy Mushrooms: You. Me. Marriage. Now.

Laplaces Angel: you listen to LitWTC

i/me/myself: you were trying to separate yourself from the normal i/me/myself fans

The first step: idk why but you REALLY like lemonade

skeleton appreciation day: you can NOT play any instrument

tomcat disposables: you love concept albums

White noise: unlike cotards, you need to sleep in SILENCE

Love me normally: arctic monkeys. that's all I have to say. idk what about them but, yeah

misanthrapologist: GAY QUEER LGBT HOMOSEXUAL FRUITY ZESTY ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER

Falling up: wonderful taste once again please don't become a Disney adult

thats enough let's get you home: you say "YIPPIE!!" a lot

And if I did: god made you shy because he knew if you weren't you would be unstoppable

[theconstantsidekick]

heyyyy...how are you doing.????

I was just wondering that if you have the idea of writing one shots for static verse , could you.. maybe write something where static takes Bucky as her date to her Harvard reunion...

may be when she was studying , everyone used to be so jealous of her cuz she is basically a sassy smartass...but now in the reunion they are acting so nice because she is a lawyer/avenger.. Definitely faking niceness...

and Jamie boy being too proud of his girl...

The Class of '92 | b.b

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings)

Genre: Fluffy with a chance of angst.

Summary: Y/n goes to the Harvard Reunion to reap the benefits of the alumni fees she's been giving out for the last three and a half decades.

(This takes place after the events of Static: Get, Set, Glitch. However, it can be read as a stand-alone piece. But it’s fun. I promise.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Recreational Drug Use, Mentions of Sex, Minors DNI, 18+ Only.

a/n: I think I strayed a little away from the original premise? I'm sorry?

Bucky Barnes, The Boyfriend (other one-shots) | The Falcon, The Winter Soldier and Static | Static: Get, Set, Glitch | Static Verse Masterlist

If she were being completely honest, she never entertained the idea of going to her class reunions. The whole ‘being-half-alien-aging-like-a-nebula-and-looking-the-same-for-years-on-end’ thing kinda took the wind out of her sails whenever she even thought about accepting the invite.

But that was then. 

Now people know who she is, what she is. No more reasons to hide, no Ross on her ass trying to hunt her down for the Accords, no giant purple grape looking alien knocking at the door threatening to burn the world down, no younger brother constantly being confused as her older brother.

Fuck. She’ll never get used to that.

The moment the invitation popped up on her laptop screen, her first reaction was to call Tony.

“You’ve got Tony Stark. I’m probably busy saving the world or curing a hangover. You can leave a message at the beep but I only get back to people if they’re hot. F.R.I.D.A.Y. will delete your message if you’re not. You’ve been warned.” The pre-recorded voice-message cut off with a beep.

Exhaling harshly, she spoke softly, “I was calling to ask you if you wanted to go to my reunion with me. Free booze, snobby assholes, jealous losers who hate me for being smarter, and did I mention the free booze? Totally your scene.” She fidgeted with the folder on her desk, nervous about a voicemail. “But you’re busy… being a dead dick so… So I guess I’ll just skip it this year as well.”

Life had other plans, though.

Well, her beloved boyfriend James Bucky Barnes did.

“I can go with you?” He offered. 

“What?” she asked him, confused.

“To the reunion,” he answered easily, his eyes still fixed on the omelet he was making for her. “I can go with you. Can’t guarantee I’ll be as fun company as your brother, but I can show you a good time. Pull out all the stops, be the trophy husband of a lifetime.” He smiled at her then. “Only if you want to, though.”

And now here they were. 

“This was a bad idea,” she comments, sipping on her drink.

“Why?” Bucky asks her, more confident than her—which don’t get her wrong was hot as fuck, but very unlike them.

“They’re all… they’re all—”

“Old?” Bucky finished with an amused smile. 

She couldn’t help the smile that slipped out.

He looks good, comfortable and sen-fucking-sational. He’s wearing a black tux with a white shirt and black bowtie. She’d been a little too busy trying to decide what to wear to have noticed him changing into the outfit. Eventually, having finalized on a white twill suit and a blood red silk shirt with a matching tie, she stepped out of her room. And he was a fucking vision.

Looking at him might just be her favourite hobby. She could pursue that shit as a vocation.

“That happens sometimes.” Bucky tells her. “People do get old, you know?”

She looks around at the crowd. They’re at the prime location for people watching, standing at the bar, far in the corner of the vast room. The lights are dim, only sprinkles of yellow scattered around the venue, the rest is overshadowed by a sea of ocean blue. So, she takes the moment, the isolation and takes a while to soak in his words. 

‘People do get old.’

“Yeah… yeah. I know,” she responds solemnly.

He takes a moment too, not to look at the crowd. Bucky seldom looks at anything with interest apart from her. He does the same now, he looks at her, studying the expression on her face. With his assessment done, he says, “I’ve never seen you nervous before.”

“I’m not nervous,” Y/n bites back, scolding him with absolutely no heat whatsoever.

“I’ve never seen you anxious before,” he amends.

Rolling her eyes, “I’m not anxious.”

“Scared?”

She has to look at him then. Brows furrowed, she frowns. 

Bucky throws up his hands instantly, admitting his mistake with an adorable smile.

“I used to steal Bruce’s homemade tacos before he learned to control the Hulk,” she smiles too. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

He takes a step closer to her, his words are softer when he speaks but bold enough for her to hear with ease. Gently placing his hand on the small of her back, he asks, “Then what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I wasn’t exactly… well, let’s just say there’s a reason I avoided going to class when I was in college,” she answers. Bucky’s face scrunches up at the insinuation.

But before he can enquire about it any further, before she can warn him, a voice cuts in.

“That was because you used to be a facetious little know-it-all,” the man comments. “You didn’t need the classes anyway.” He smiles, and there is no warmth in it.

Bucky must notice because his arm tightens just a little around her.

This was bound to happen sooner or later. She decides to roll with the punches. She knew what she was getting into when she came here.

“Charles Walton,” she greets him with a smile, just as dead as his. “Been a long time.”

“I’d say the same, but you look exactly the same as you did back then—not a hair out of place. I’m not sure time even passed,” he jokes, or well he tries.

“What can I say? It’s the price of being an Avenger,” she bites back.

He laughs, a hollow thing. “Hey, Milkovich!” He yells out over her head. “Guess who showed up!”

Well, fuck.

That one shout is enough to draw the attention of the entire class of 92. Cause almost instantly there’s a crowd gathered around Bucky and her. There’s chuckles and whispers among them—some are bewildered at her presence while others seem itching to make this a battlefield. 

“Ah, the famous Avenger,” a female voice chimes in. “You're famous around these parts, you know?” She takes a couple steps closer to them. Assessing her from head to toe, “Not just for being an Avenger, but being so elusive that you didn’t show up for a single reunion… But at least now we know why.”

“Nice to see you too, Seline,” Y/n tells her, calm and centered.

“Shit, Stark!” Mickey Milkovitch balks. “You look the fucking same!” 

And fine, she can take it from Milkovich. The guy was always crass but never rude. He just lacked a fucking filter.

So the smile that she smiles is open and kind. “Thanks, Mick. I could say the same about you.” She’s not lying. The guy looks pretty good for his age… and for the copious amount of alcohol she remembers him consuming during every party and every lecture.

“Not as good as you, holy shit! You really don’t age, do you?” He asks and it’s genuine so again, he gets a pass.

Nodding, “Not enough. My telomeres don’t work right, I think. Rest of me is human… mostly.”

And Mickey seems to take a lot of pleasure in her answer—smiling, he holds up his glass to cheers. She meets him with her own glass.

“Can’t lie, it’s a surprise to see you here,” another woman speaks up. “We thought we’d seen the last of you at the graduation.” 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Candace. I saw the invite and I just couldn’t help myself,” Y/n bites back.

“Didn’t have time for us before?” Candace Huston asks.

“Ah.” Y/n never really liked these snobby prep school kids. Even after all these years, they’ve somehow managed to not change at all. She doesn’t know why she expected them to. “I was a little caught up.”

“Saving the world?” Archer Bass suggests, mocking.

“Yes,” Bucky cuts in before she can form some modest version of that answer. She can always count on him to stump the opposition while she reloads. “That’s the day job. Doesn’t pay as well as whatever it is you guys have been doing. And oh! Odd hours, really odd. But it’s good work, wouldn’t you say, sweetheart?”

She smiles, finding comfort in the warmth of his gaze. “Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been a Personal Injury Lawyer.” Bucky smiles at that and fuck if that doesn’t just rile her up. “Oh! I almost forgot, this is my boyfriend—”

She’s cut off by Charles ‘Chickenshit’ Walton, “The Winter Soldier. We know who he is.”

“At least he’s a looker,” Seline snickers. “I’ll give you that.”

“The two of you make a great couple—The Winter Soldier and Static, ex assassin and ex assassin,” Candace adds with a snide smile. There’s more catty bullshit like that from the rest of the crowd but she kinda zones out.

And fuck it all to hell.

Her entire college life was avoiding these fools.

All her life she’d watched shows about the shitshow that is high school. She hadn’t attended it, of course but Harvard was supposed to be her first try. It was supposed to be her playing her hand at being utterly and completely normal, one with the crowd. College wasn’t supposed to be as brutal as highschool but not as uncaring as a desk job. It was supposed to be an easy middle between the two. Part of her was excited even. But the reality wasn’t all that movies made it out to be.

They were snobs, the fucking lot of them. Always looking at every tiny little detail, studying it a microscope, planning and scheming to find a chink in her armour just to break her down. She didn’t understand why then. Why they didn’t like her, why she was the outsider. Because despite everything she wasn’t exactly that different from them, not to their knowledge at least. Howie was fucking loaded, ipso facto she was too. None of them knew her past but everytime they looked at her their eyes were always hungry, always searching for some weakness.

She gets it now.

It wasn’t hunger. It wasn’t some twisted version of distrust.

It was straight up jealousy.

They were jealous of her.

They were jealous of her back then and if possible they are even more jealous of her now.

Y/n just laughs. She can’t help it, okay? It’s hilarious.

She really, genuinely believed at one point in her life that these fucking dipshits would figure out her secret, when all they were looking for was a way to top the class. These are some of the smartest individuals she’s come across—graduates of Harvard Law. Fuck! They were just kids fighting for brownie points when she was fighting for her freedom. God fucking damn it, she’s been so damn dumb. 

So she laughs.

Bucky looks at her for a second, raises his brow in concern. She waves her hand at him, letting him know she’s fine. It’s just funny.

“Something funny, Stark?” Archer asks, wearing a smile on his face that contradicts his tone which is just a little too shrill to be considered calm.

She shakes her head but continues chuckling.

“Don’t wanna share it with the rest of the class?” Charles bites. “Guess some things just don’t change.”

Y/n laughs a little harder. “My god, Charlie. You sure I’m the only one not aging here? Cause you sound like a sullen teenager.” She waves off his response before he can even form one. “Anyway, as I was saying, this is my boyfriend, Sergeant James Buchanon Barnes.” She drops a kiss on his cheek. “You can call him Sergeant Barnes… Well, except Milkovich. He’s just Barnes to you, Mick.”

Mickey seems pleased with her words, “Nice to meet you, Barnes.” He extends his hand to Bucky who takes it without hesitation. “Always thought your arm was really cool.” 

That one throws Bucky a little. He looks back at her, eyes big and a sneaky curve of his lip. It screams, ‘Where the fuck did you find this guy?’ But like she said, no filter on that one. 

“Why does Milkovitch get special treatment?” Seline rebukes her.

Y/n just shrugs. “Cause he wasn’t a dick to me in college?” Isn’t it obvious?

“Excuse me?” Candace exclaims like the hit was personal. “We were never anything but generous, which was more than what you deserved considering the shit you pulled.”

“One, that is wildly inaccurate. You were all dicks, all of you. But I don’t think I blame you for it, pompous kids do what pompous kids see. And two, what shit did I pull?” She waves at the bartender asking for a refill.

“You are seriously going to pretend you don’t know?” Archer throws back.

Taking the last sip from her drink she sets the now empty glass down on the nearest table. “Yes, enlighten me.”

“You were sleeping with Professor Keating to get the answers to all the tests,” Charles answers, disdain clear on his face.

“I—” She looks from his face to Bucky's, who feigns shock before breaking into a smile.

Charles cuts her off. “You hid it well enough but everyone knew you spent most of the free time between classes in his office. You scored well in every single one of his tests, which were impossible to crack and he was always so very eager to call on you in class.” He scoffs. “We were never able to find any concrete evidence to pin you down, we’ll give you that. But that doesn’t mean we were naive enough not to see it.”

“I—” She begins laughing again. “Professor Keating.” Fuck.

“What’s so fucking funny, Stark?” Archer pushes her. Well, he tries but before he can grab the collar he was reaching for, Bucky’s metal arm is already pulling him off.

“Easy there, cowboy,” Bucky warns.

“Get your hands off me!” Archer tries to brush Bucky off, pushing him back, trying desperately to get out of his grip, but come on. It’s Bucky. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Saving you the ass beating of a lifetime, buddy boy. Be glad it’s me and not her,” Bucky comments causally as he twists Archer’s arm behind his back.

“It’s fine, Sunshine. Let him go,” she coos at him sweetly.

And because he’s Bucky, he urges Archer to take a few steps away from her and then simply lets him go.

“Are you still mentally unstable?! How dare you touch me? I’m gonna sue your Nazi ass for that!” Archer warns. 

“I mean, you can try. But he’s got a great lawyer,” Y/n tells him, grabbing her new drink from the waiter. She takes a sip. “Got him pardoned for countless assassinations. You think assault is where I lose that battle?” The blood drains from Archer’s face, all the color is gone. “And as for the Professor Keating matter,” she giggles again, before forcing herself to compose. “He was ex-KGB. I used to hang out with him after class to find out if he knew the updated location of HYDRA bases.”

“Ex-KGB?” Seline asks, just as pale as Archer.

“You expect us to buy that bullshit story? His name was Arthur Keating for Christ’s Sake!” Candace shouts.

“Which he changed when he asked for political asylum here. His real name was Boris Levitsky. His family was murdered by HYDRA when he couldn’t free some official high in their ranks. After that he was fairly willing to spill all about them,” Y/n explains.

“To a college student?” Charles question, clearly not buying it.

“To an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. operative,” she corrects.

“You were an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. operative back then?” Bucky asks her, reclaiming his position next to her with a steady arm around her waist.

“No,” she tells him. “But he didn’t know that.”

Bucky’s face breaks into a proud smile. The sprinkles of yellow around the venue seem to be attracted to her sun. They fall softly on his face, lighting up the curve of his cheekbones, the smile lines around his lips. He seems so much more comfortable in his skin than he used to before. And he shines brighter, if that was even possible. She thinks maybe she’ll have to carry sunglasses around from now on.

“How the fuck did you score so well then?” Seline question, furious at the revelation.

“Did you guys ever think maybe she’s just that fucking smart?” Bucky throws out, kissing her forehead. “My sweetheart’s a fucking genius!” He leans in closer. “A lesser man would be very intimidated by that, you know?”

He’s so close, she can taste his scent on the tip of her tongue. The smell of summer in the woods, and remnants of leather. It drives her insane.

“A lesser man, huh?” She teases. “You’re not intimidated by it then?”

“Oh I am,” he tells her. “Just not very intimidated.”

God, he’s so fucking beautiful.

“Hey! Lovebirds! We’re not done here,” Charles jumps in. 

Rolling her eyes and reluctantly turning back to face the asshat, she asks, “What do you want?”

“Winter Soldier here might think you’re all that, but I know better.” He looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust into flames purely out of anger. “You’re not that smart. Unlike you, some of us worked hard to get where we are. We didn’t rely on fake daddy’s money to make something of ourselves.”

Now that’s just stupid. “Charlie… Come on, man. Howard Stark was not my father, he was my best friend, I just needed a cover. And his money got me nowhere. And, and! The fucker went and got killed before I even graduated.” Bucky’s head falls at the mention, but her time at college was too closely knit to his passing for her to not mention it. “But even after all that if you think I got in because he bribed the board—I didn’t fucking graduate Summa Cum Laude by kicking my feet and batting my eyelashes. I barely came to college to even do that with perfect follow through. That was my dropping-acid-and-doing-fireball-shots phase. I’m surprised to be alive, honestly.” She takes a step towards him. “Maybe in retrospect it seems like everything was handed to me on a silver platter now that my life seems so glorious on the outside, but that wasn’t the case, dude. Part of me wanted to be a lawyer so I could fight for my freedom if the time ever came.”

“Freedom from what, Stark?!” He yells out. “Your life is fucking perfect! You’re an Avengers, governments step aside to make way for you. You’ve got a super hot boyfriend who can clearly throw a punch, what more could you possibly want?” 

Tony.

I want my brother back.

The answer is right there, on the tip of her tongue. But they don’t need to know it. They don’t really deserve it. Not their fault—most people don’t. 

So, instead she steps back, clasps her hands into Bucky’s. “Nothing, actually. You’re right. I couldn’t ask for more.” Someone in the back catches her eye then. “Lighten up, Charlie.” She looks around at the rest of them. “You’re supposed to be the brightest minds of the nation, not petty fucking 6th graders. Lighten the fuck up, kids. I assure you there are worse things to be than fucking Harvard graduates.” She pulls Bucky by the hand and this hunk of a man follows along without an ounce of hesitation, as always. She yells out without turning “I’d say it was nice to see you guys, but it really fucking wasn’t.” But then her steps halt. She turns, “All except you, Milkovitch. It really was nice to see you again. Call me sometime, we should catch up.”

“I don’t have your number,” Mickey replies innocently.

She smiles. “Fine then, I’ll call you.”

“You don’t have my number.”

Her smile just turns mischievous.

Mickey picks up instantly. “Of course,” he says, a little embarrassed. “World class spy—I forgot.”

Hugging the man quickly, she turns and grabs Bucky by the hand again and begins walking off.

“This was amazing! Let’s do this again next year,” Bucky yells out, waving at the gaping faces they’ve left behind.

“Shut up, James.” She hushes him without heat.

“Where you taking me, sweetheart?” He asks, but there is no real curiosity in his question.

So she says as much. “You don’t really seem that curious about it.”

“I’m asking for the fuck of it—to hear you talk. I love hearing you talk.”

“Sap.” She’s smiling.

“I’ll follow you anywhere, don’t care where you take me,” he promises. 

They’ve stopped walking, her target is in her eyesight so she’s all too worried. So she takes the moment to drink him in.

“FUCKING SAP,” she chides, pushing him a little.

Bucky (pretends to) stumble. “Only for you. Always for you,” he tells her, honest and true. He covers the distance between them with a few short steps. His hand comes to caress her jaw, gently—always so gently. He leans in. His lips brush against her as he speaks, “Till the end of my days, sweetheart.”

“Till the end of mine,” she corrects him and then closes the gap.

The best thing about kissing Bucky is that it always feels like the first time. No matter however many times she kisses this boy, every time it feels overwhelmingly new. It feels like her mind is melting, like she’s turning to mush under his hands—one flesh, the other metal. He always knows how to give her exactly what he craves, maybe because she mostly just craves him.

With one hand on her cheek, the other on the small of her back, Bucky pulls her in closer. His tongue tastes of whiskey, but his lips are all him. They are delectable enough to eat. It takes everything in her not to bite down too hard. But she can’t resist the urge to pull his lip between her teeth, biting just hard enough to leave them red. He kindly obliges by slipping his tongue into the mix. He’s so hungry for her, he’s always so fucking hungry for her.

Absent-mindedly she thinks maybe he feels it too. The inexplicable newness in the repeated action of kissing each other. Because hunger like that—hunger like his, seems insatiable. She would give away all of herself to it. Let him consume her whole. She will do just that… Just not here, not now.

Reluctantly, with great strength and determination, she pulls herself away. 

Bucky, this fucker, whimpers. “What?” He whines.

She can’t help but chuckle. “I need to one thing then we can just get the fuck out of here and do more of that—a lot more of that.”

He pretends to think for a second but she already knows she’s won him over. “Fine,” he says after a beat. “What do you need?”

“An answer,” she tells him, before fixing herself a bit and walking over to the woman who’d caught her eye before. 

She’s a tall woman, short black hair—a pixie cut that she pulls off flawlessly. She’s standing alone, smoking in the open area of the venue, looking out at the scene ahead of them.

Y/n approaches her cautiously. “Jeri Hogarth,” she calls out, making the woman turn. “You’re a hard woman to reach.”

“Y/f/n Stark.” Jeri doesn’t even turn to look at her. She keeps on staring straight ahead, smoking. “Did you ever consider, maybe I didn’t want to be reached?”

Y/n lets go of Bucky’s hand, but not before giving it a gentle press as a promise to come back soon. She walks up next to Jeri. “I did consider that possibility, but couldn’t bring myself to care about it, unfortunately.”

And then, finally Jeri turns to look at her, “What do you need for me? I mean it must be something big if you decided to show up here.”

Y/n shrugs. “It’s not big, I wouldn't say. I think it’s more that it’s… urgent?” That seems to intrigue Jeri, she cocks her brow in question. And Y/n answers, “I need to speak with Danny Rand.”

That seems to throw Jeri off. “I—I don’t know where he is. Besides, if you want his business—”

“It’s not about Rand Enterprises, Hogarth.” She clicks her tongue in disappointment. Nothing that fucking arbitrary would bring her here. “I want to talk to Danny’s friend. I want to talk to the Iron Fist.”

“I don’t—” Jeri looks like she’s at a loss for words which, yeah, a fairly new look on her. Y/n had very rarely seen Jeryn Hogarth lose her calm in class. They shared a lot of them, and while she wasn’t exactly kind to Y/n, she wasn’t unkind either.

“I know that you know, Jeri. I also know about Jessica Jones and… Kilgrave.” Y/n doesn’t want to be unkind to her either. “I am sorry about what happened…” Jeri just looks away. “I wouldn’t ask you if it was important, and I wouldn't be looking for Danny if it wasn’t urgent. But I need to talk to him.”

“And you think I can help?” Jeri challenges, finally finding her ground.

But Y/n isn’t here for a fight. “I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t know you could.”

“Why should I?”

“I don’t have a very good reason for that. I don’t think I have anything of value to you that I could even barter with? But I’ll owe you one,” Y/n offers.

“You’ll owe me one?” She asks, unconvinced.

Y/n shrugs. “Yes.”

“And that’s supposed to be good enough?”

For the second time tonight, Y/n just wears a mischievous smile with furrowed brows. 

Jeri seems to understand her without any words being spoken. “Yeah. That’s good enough.” She nods. “Okay, I can try to get a message to him, but there is no guarantee that he’ll respond.”

“He’ll respond,” Y/n answers easily.

Jeri eyes her suspiciously. “So, what’s the message?”

“Just tell him we need to talk,” Y/n answers.

“That’s all?”

“What else am I supposed to fucking say? The peacock rests peacefully in the moonlight?! This isn’t Mission Impossible. I’m not Tom Cruise. I just wanna talk to the dude,” Y/n rebukes.

“Fine,” Jeri tries to calm her down half-heartedly, turning back to the view ahead of her.

“Thanks, Hogarth,” Y/n says one last time before heading out.

Jeri takes out a fresh cigarette and lights it. “Just remember you owe me one.”

With that out of the way, Bucky and Y/n leave the reunion of the class of '92, hand in hand. It’s much later when they’re out for ice cream does Bucky ask the question she had been anticipating the entire night.

“Something was off tonight—before the whole sleeping with the teacher thing.” 

She chuckles at his words. “Was there?” She asks.

“Yeah,” he doesn’t let her dodge it. “You wanna talk about it?” He does give her the option to opt out. He’s so considerate, how can she deny him anything?

They are sitting on the curb outside the 24 hour ice cream shop. They are bathed in the harsh light from the streetlight. Bucky, she thinks, somehow manages to still look pretty in that. He has a chocolate ice-cream cone in his hand that’s melting away at a matching speed to the vanilla cone in hers. They’d spent a little too long lost in each other’s mouths to focus on the ice-cream in a timely fashion. Both of them are now trying to furiously make up for that.

It takes her a moment to find the words. “I… It’s hard looking around at the room and seeing so many people who are… who are…”

“Old?” Bucky supplies again.

She shakes her head, laughing and trying to lick the ice cream off the cone—save it from falling. “No, Jamie. Not that.”

“Then?” He prompts, leaning to lick the leftover ice cream off her fingers.

Taking in a long breath, she musters up her courage and begins. “Tony’s the same age as Milkovitch. Or well, Tony would have been.” Bucky’s eyes turn softer in an instant. “It’s weird to see it—people who used to be young, who used to look like me, a crowd that I could have blended into seamlessly become old and gray. I mean, I lived it with Tony but I was there to see it day in and day out. He aged in front of my eyes, so it felt—it felt…”

“Natural?” Bucky offers.

And yeah. Yeah, it did. So, she nods. “Natural,” she agrees. “I remember when I noticed his first gray hair,” she laughs. “I freaked the fuck out but I didn’t want to tell him, cause that seemed fucking shallow, you know? I tried to hide it but man, I don’t think I was doing a good job ‘cause two days later the poor kid had dyed it black—that one single strand.” Bucky laughs too. “I think he figured out why it was freaking me out and that was his way of—I don’t know—calm me down, maybe?” She clicks her tongue at the thought. “The wrinkles were an easy adjustment. It began with smile lines, crinkles around his eyes every time he’d laugh at a joke, so it was…”

“Comforting?” Bucky suggests, once again giving her the words she can’t seem to find.

She rests her head on his shoulder then, “Yes. It was okay after that—especially after Pepper. Watching him age began feeling like a privilege. It felt like he was growing old instead of, you know, dying?”

Bucky nods. “Are you worried about that now? With me?” She punches him in the side. “FUCK! What was that for?”

She pulls back to face him, “I am not thinking about that shit yet!”

“Oh I’m sorry!” Bucky yells out annoyed and animated. “I was just drawing the LOGICAL conclusion to the conversation, but of course, that was stupid.”

“You’re such a little shit, James,” she rebukes him, shoving him and getting back on her feet.

“I’m a shit?! What did I do?!” He gets up as well. “We keep making grand promises about how we’ll love each other to the end of your days because you’ll obviously live longer.”

“BUCKY, DON’T SAY THAT!” She begins walking towards their motorbike parked in the parking lot.

He follows behind, “It’s not breaking news, Y/n! It’s inevitable.”

“Bucky!”

“But I have a plan!”

That makes her halt. She turns to face him, he almost runs into her. “What’s the plan?”

He smiles all cheeky and insolent. “Freeze me for a decade once in a while.” She can’t believe her ears.”Put me in the fridge every ten years or so for a decade and then pull me out. I’m also open to being in the freezer for a year with a two year gap in the middle as well.” She wants to punch him again. “I haven’t done the math on which will make me live longer but both will definitely extend my lifespan significantly.” She is going to punch him again. “I age a little slower anyway, this was I think we could extend this relationship into the next millennium at leas—” She punches him again. “FUCK! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ONE FOR NOW?” 

Turning around, she begins walking off again. “You’re not ice-cream, Jamie. I’m not fucking freezing you!” She cans the ice-cream in her hand, having lost her appetite.

He follows her again. “I have another plan!”

“Shut up, Barnes!”

“What if we ask Banner to make me body like you guys did for Vision?! Put my consciousness in there?” Bucky asks as they reach their motorbike.

She pulls out the keys, handing them off to Bucky. “What made him capable of emotions was the Mind Stone, you got any spare of those lying around?”

Bucky hops on the bike and then thinks for a second, “Steve told me you guys put Zola in a big computer kinda thing.” She gets on behind him. “What if we did that? I know our sex life might suffer but—”

She punches him right under his ribs..

“STOP FUCKING PUNCHING ME! These ideas are golden.”

She punches him again.

Find other one-shots here. Find other Static Verse works here. tag list : @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @arikarapli @just-anotherstan @justab-eautifulmess @ceo-of-daichi @liketearsintherainn @paintballkid711 @starkleila @heyitsmereading @fairlygothparents @euphoria-svt @sidepartskinnyjeans @mini-kunoichi @third-broparcelicito @siwiecola @haleybutnotthecomet @mvaldez7821 @rockybutmakeitlame @romanoffswoman @ashpeace888 @hopeofwinter @percabethfangirl987 @lilfuturescars @hailqueenconquer

hit me up if you want to be added to the tag list.

[wonderlandhour]

First Year Funfacts

Sebek goes quiet and peaceful in the rain, especially a good thunderstorm

Deuce knows a lot about tea and had a few custom blends that get mailed to him regularly

Ace has 3 siblings, two older brothers he calls Jack and Ocho and one younger sister named Regina. the sibling he has that no one ever really talks about his is decade older half sibling, Folly.

Sora refuses to eat most veggies cooked, stating he doesn't like them. his mom just boils them all so he doesn't like them cooked until he finds ash roasting some. his favorite veggies made by Ash are roasted brussel sprouts and sauteed asparagus.

Ash's favorite food is passion fruit in twisted wonderland. she'd never and fresh ones before but in TW it's slightly less sweet and has a naturally stronger flavor.

Sebek starts giving Sora one of his favorite apples every time they see each other and it takes Sora weeks to realize why he gets excited whenever he sees Sebek

Ash thinks it's absolutely hilarious that Sebek Pavloved Sora into liking him. this is what gets the verb form of Pavlov into TW.

Ortho is a giant parrot and likes to copy things he hears others say in the same way they said it.

he and Idia both hack into things to see who can do it faster for fun. on occasion Ortho has hacked into things for Ash. he will not do it for anyone else in their friend group.

Ace has called Jamil 'mom' and 'team mom' on more than one occasion. apparently it started with Floyd.

In a burst of anger at Azul once at club, Grim yelled at him 'you're not my dad!' Azul didn't let him forget about it for ages.

Grim only verbally admitted he considers Ash like a mom to him once, right after getting her back from her treatment at STYX. when edged on by Sebek and Ruggie, loudly states he will never see Malleus or Leona has a dad. But they're welcome to try and tempt him! (it's a ploy for fancy tuna)

Epel has also called Vil mom and finds it hilarious that Vil refuses to accept it when he responds to being referred to as mom without fail.

Jack howls sometimes to see who's where, forgetting that his friends are not wolves. however it doesn't stop them from answering. if they can hear him, Ortho, Epel, Deuce, and Sora all answer no matter what. about half the time Sebek, Ash, and Grim will answer. Ace only answers if he's by himself or no one can see him at that moment (he has the best howl out of everyone).

whenever Ash isn't in a mental position to take up leadership of their group, Ace steps up into that older sibling role seamlessly.

at the beginning of their second year, Ortho returns from summer break with a new body entirely, less robotic looking with more functions, and he looks about 14-15 in age. He's the one who designed his new body.

Ash is a minor sugar baby of the other housewardens and thoroughly enjoys it . . . with the exception of Vil and his need for her to have a giant expensive (in Ash's opinion) skin care routine (it's five things across morning and night).

Sebek once accidentally gave Ash an alcohol that's nearly indistinguishable from water that belongs to Lilia. as it turns out, ash has zero alcohol tolerance and spent the entire night as diasomnia giggling at Malleus for being pretty and looking for her faovrite people for cuddles. it ended in the biggest slumber party in NRC's history across pretty much every dorm. (she almost killed Sebek for the hangover.)

Grim can't cook for shit, he's burned water and has been banned from even attempting to cook at both Ramshackle and the main school building.

the others can tell if she went out with Malleus or Leona depending on if she comes back with beads in her hair or a new necklace. Ash cannot figure out for the life of her how they know who she's meeting up with before the date even happens though.

Epel has three piercings in his ears and one nose piercing he rarely wears since getting into NRC for minor fear of Vil giving him a lecture about them.

ear piercings for beastmen are pretty intimate because of how sensitive their ears are. Jack didn't have any before NRC, but got his first ones from Leona after his overblot. Ruggie also got his first piercings from Leona. The earrings in his ears are both a gift and a claim from the prince.

Deuce has a tongue piercing and no one finds out until the first time he and Ace kiss.

Sebek goes hard with a deep scary rumbling purr when you scratch his chin and upper neck of the scales along his back. he does not move when you do that either.

Sora is a pegsus beastman but pegasi have a lot of bird instincts compared to horses which means that the number of times he's perched on top of things and ended up scaring the shit out of people in very high. because he also goes completely quiet when he does that sometimes. Ortho almost shot him once when he scared the shit out of Idia and Ash threw a knife at him the first time he did that in the middle of the night.

one time when there was a small group of students from the Land of the Red Dragon visiting, they were highly impressed by Epel's fruit carving ability. he found of from them that the ability to peel a fruit as close to the peel as possible is seen as a test of how good of a wife a girl will be. it's also common though for parents to show their kids they care with peeled and cut fruit. it causes epel, who has a hard time saying how much people mean to him, to show it with platters of cut and peeled fruit.

if any of them need help or advice with life or relationships, they go to Ash. if any of them need history homework help, they go to Sebek. if they want math help they go to Ace. Ortho rarely ever helps them with homework since he considers it cheating since he has access to the literal internet.

Deuce knows a lot of random fun facts and spends a lot on audio books to listen to while running. he might not understand everything he listens to but he retains the information really well.

Sebek is austistic, Sora is ADHD, Deuce had both dyslexia and dyscalcula, Ash has PTSD and Depression. Ortho hallucinates things sometimes when he runs for too long without taking a sleep cycle (2.5 days. think low battery Baymax on steriods.) Grim has separation anxiety and some basic training as a therapy animal for all of them but mostly Ash. As the only 'normal' member of their group, Ace regularly complains about it but has never once turned them down when they need help.

Ace regularly forgets that Jack is also a 'normal' one because he's one of the quieter ones and doesn't talk about it. Ace will say no while actively helping you. Jack will show he cares in a softer way, solely with actions.

[cricketfucker]

Will Wood Song Tournament!

Good morning ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, neithers, boths, and in-betweens. We gather here to vote upon the best Will Wood songs of all time.

Below is our roster of 64 Will Wood / Will Wood and the Tapeworms songs, placed in a randomized order, my only rule being that none of the matches in the first & second round will be from the same album:

ROUND 1 - Voting Date & Time: January 31st, 2pm CST

Match 1: Becoming the Lastnames VS Self-

Match 2: Euthanasia VS Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture

Match 3: Welcome to Camp Here & There VS You Liked This (Okay, Computer!)

Match 4: Falling Up VS Cotard's Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca)

Match 5: Momento Mori: the most important thing in the world VS Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll

Match 6: Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) VS Morning Announcements

Match 7: Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus) VS Everything Is a Lot

Match 8: Evening Announcements VS Ferryman

Match 9: Love, Me Normally VS Good Morning, Campers!

Match 10: Afternoon Announcements VS Destroy to Enjoy

Match 11: Misanthrapologist VS Lysergide Daydream

Match 12: Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In! VS That's Enough, Let's Get You Home.

Match 13: Dr. Sunshine Is Dead VS Yes, to Err is Human, so Don't Be One.

Match 14: When Somebody Needs You VS Big Fat Bitchie’s Blueberry Pie, Christmas Tree, and Recreational Jell-o Emporium a.k.a. “Mr. Boy is on the Roof Again” (Feat. Pasta by Sneakers McSqueakers) [From “B.F.B.’s B-Sides: Bagel Batches, Marsh-Mallows, & Barsh-Mallows”]

Match 15: 2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.) VS Your Body, My Temple

Match 16: Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine) VS The Main Character

ROUND 2 - Voting Date & Time: February 1st, 2pm CST

Match 1: Red Moon VS I / Me / Myself

Match 2: Cicada Days VS Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples

Match 3: BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA VS Half-Decade Hangover

Match 4: Front Street VS Vampire Reference in a Minor Key

Match 5: Tomcat Disposables VS Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D.

Match 6: White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?) VS ...well, better than the alternative

Match 7: Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave VS Alma Mater

Match 8: Um, It's Kind of a Lot VS Under a Monochromatic Sky

Match 9: ...And If I Did, You Deserved It. VS Against the Kitchen Floor

Match 10: -ish VS Venetian Blind Man

Match 11: Under a Technicolor Sky VS 2012

Match 12: 6up 5oh Copout (Pro / Con) VS The Song with Five Names, a.k.a. Soapbox Tao, a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government, a.k.a. You Can Never Know

Match 13: Jimmy Mushroom's Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ VS White Noise

Match 14: Willard! VS ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic)

Match 15: The Rhumba of Death VS The First Step

Match 16: Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones) VS Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

ROUND 3 - Voting Date & Time: February 2nd, 2pm CST

Match 1: Becoming the Lastnames VS Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture

Match 2: Welcome to Camp Here & There VS Cotard's Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca)

Match 3: Momento Mori: the most important thing in the world VS Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)

Match 4: Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus) VS Ferryman

Match 5: Love, Me Normally VS Destroy to Enjoy

Match 6: Misanthrapologist VS Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!

Match 7: Dr. Sunshine is Dead VS When Somebody Needs You

Match 8: 2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.) VS The Main Character

ROUND 4 - Voting Date & Time: February 3rd, 2pm CST

Match 1: I / Me / Myself VS Cicada Days

Match 2: BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA VS Front Street

Match 3: Tomcat Disposables VS Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D. VS ...well, better than the alternative

Match 4: Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave VS Um, It's Kind of a Lot

Match 5: Against the Kitchen Floor VS Venetian Blind Man

Match 6: 2012 VS The Song with Five Names, a.k.a. Soapbox Tao, a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government, a.k.a. You Can Never Know

Match 7: White Noise VS Willard!

Match 8: The First Step VS Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

ROUND 5 - Voting Date & Time: February 5th, 2pm CST

Match 1: Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture VS Cotard's Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca)

Match 2: Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) VS Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus)

Match 3: Love, Me Normally VS Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!

Match 4: Dr. Sunshine is Dead VS 2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.)

Match 5: Cicada Days VS BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA

Match 6: ...well, better than the alternative VS Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave

Match 7: Against the Kitchen Floor VS The Song with Five Names, a.k.a. Soapbox Tao, a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government, a.k.a. You Can Never Know

Match 8: Willard! VS Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

ROUND 6 - Voting Date & Time: February 7th, 2pm CST

Match 1: Cotard's Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca) VS Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)

Match 2: Love, Me Normally VS 2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.)

Match 3: BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA VS Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave

Match 4: Against the Kitchen Floor VS Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

ROUND 7 - Voting Time & Date: February 8th, 4pm CST

Match 1: Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) VS Love, Me Normally

Match 2: Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave VS Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

ROUND 8 - Voting Time & Date: February 9th, 5pm CST

Final Match: Love, Me Normally VS Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

WINNER!

Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

[soggytapeworm]

Round 1 Lineup

1st Battle: I/Me/Myself vs. That’s Enough, Let’s Get You Home

2nd Battle: White Noise vs. Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, N.Y. (Bones)

3rd Battle: Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll vs. ¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic)

4th Battle: …well, better than the alternative vs. Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer’s Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus)

5th Battle: Love, Me Normally vs. The First Step

6th Battle: Um, It’s Kind Of A Lot vs. Your Body, My Temple

7th Battle: Thermodynamic Lawyer, Esq, G.F.D. vs. Misanthrapologist

8th Battle: Falling Up vs. 6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)

9th Battle: Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture vs. Ferryman

10th Battle: (Cover This Song) A Little Bit Mine vs. Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)

11th Battle: Lysergide Daydream vs. Front Street

12th Battle: Mr. Fregoli and the Diathesis-Stress Supermodel, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Con (An Untitled Track) vs. Dr. Sunshine Is Dead

13th Battle: Marsha, Thankk You For The Dialectics, But I Need You To Leave vs. 2econd 2ight 2eer

14th Battle: Jimmy Mushrooms’ Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ vs. -ish

15th Battle: The Song with Five Names, a​.​k​.​a. Soapbox Tao, a​.​k​.​a. Checkmate Atheists! a​.​k​.​a. Neospace Government, a​.​k​.​a. You Can Never Know vs. 2012

16th Battle: Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world vs. Vampire Reference In A Minor Key

17th Battle: BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA vs. Half-Decade Hangover

18th Battle: Cicada Days vs. Tomcat Disposables

19th Battle: White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?) vs. Euthanasia

20th Battle: Destroy To Enjoy vs. Cotard’s Solution (Anatta/Dukkha/Anicca)

21st Battle: When Somebody Needs You vs. Willard!

22nd Battle: The Main Character vs. Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples

23rd Battle: ...And If I Did, You Deserved It. vs. Against The Kitchen Floor

24th Battle: Becoming The Lastnames vs. Self-

25th Battle: Wealth & Hellness vs. Red Moon

26th Battle: Venetian Blind Man vs. Yes, To Err Is Human, So Don’t Be One

REMEMBER!! This one is for the WORST song!! so just keep that in mind when voting and stuff!! (I will be putting reminders in each poll)

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

TF2 Mercs and The Will Wood Songs I Think Fit Best.

————————————————————

What can I say, I'm a huge Will Wood fan lmao

————————————————————

Also, slight warnings most of these are sad. One are two aren't, but a lot of the reasons why these songs resonate with the Mercs will be sad.

————————————————————

Demo- Half A Decade Hangover and The First Step. I genuinely think this man hates being an alcoholic. He loves it when he can be fun and have a good time, but he hates the fact that he depends on it so hard.

Engie- Um, It's Kind Of A Lot. Okay, so this ties back into one of my first headcanons, I think. So I genuinely think the reason Engie is so close with Pyro and the other Mercs is because this man didn't have a family that really cared for him. Like not abusive but just not present. He. Is. Scared. Of. Love. He's scared the people he cares about will be taken from him. He's scared that he cares too much and that he'll never feel that in return.

Heavy- (When I tell you I struggled on this one) Venetian Blind Man. Okay, I'm not going to lie. This one is more of the style and music than the lyrics. I just think it fits, I really can't explain it.

Medic- Your Body, My Temple, and Yes to Err is Human, So Don't Be One. I think Your Body, My Temple fits him well because this man literally loves the human anatomy. He views the body as a temple, but not in the way like gym bros and fitness bloggers do. No, like this man thinks the human body is something to worship (nonsexual). Also, a lot of connections to people, which is shown in the song and i also think the religious aspect just fits some how. Yes to Err is Human, So Don't Be One is definitely a song that for me captures a sense of eerieness and almost inhumanity in a person, not saying that Medic isn't human or doesn't have humanity but I definitely think he has moments where he forgets about that. He always catches himself, tho. EDIT- JevTheJester let me know that BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA also fits Medic, and I agree. I think the upbeat tempo is a great fit, and it fits insanely well! ( The longest description goes to my wife, of course 😮‍💨)

Scout- Tomcat Disposables and Love, Me Normally. Oh boy. Tomcat Disposables just fits him so well. Like I think this man loves his family and home so much and just wants to provide that for a future family. I think he's also just really scared of dying (again)? Because I definitely think on the outside, he's all like cocky and chill about it but on the inside he's so fucking scared. Another mix of being confident and cool on the outside while also being really scared on the inside, but this time it's about getting close to people! Abandonment issues and all that wacky stuff. Give this man a hug pls.

Sniper- Becoming Lastnames. Let's be real. This man has family trauma. He loves his mom to death, but I definitely think his dad was distant, and when he was present, he was very strict and cold. He definitely wants a family he can be a good father/husband to, but he also knows that's probably not possible.

Spy- Cicada Days and I/Me/Myself. Commitment issues and genderfluid? He's just like me fr. (Jokes) I think Cicada Days can represent the times he's actually felt love, but he got scared and left. Specifically with Scout and his mom. I/Me/Myself, I don't think this man knows how he feels about his gender identity and hates it. Like def has internalized a lot of shit, being queer being one of the major ones. (all people who can change appearances at will in media are genderfluid come at me).

Soldier- (I struggled with this one too, ngl.). Morning Announcements. I think it just matches him and upbeat vibe with no really idea behind it.

Pyro- 2econd 2ight 2eer and Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world. This dude definitely has high energy, and I can picture them singing 2econd 2ight 2eer and like really getting into it (if they could actually be understood). Okay, a thought. I can vividly imagine Pyro (if they could be understood). Singing this song with Medic. Both of them actually like the concept of death.

————————————————————

Ugh, that was a lot. I'm sorry 😭 I really like Will Wood, as I am mentally ill. Thanks again to all of you who make me actually want to post things I think you guys will like <3

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

Cicada Days • The Main Character • ...And If I Did, You Deserved It. • Against the Kitchen Floor • Becoming the Lastnames • Vampire Reference in a Minor Key • Half-Decade Hangover • The Song With 5 Names • Euthanasia • Jimmy Mushrooms' Last Drink • Laplace's Angel • I / Me / Myself • The First Step • Skeleton Appreciation Day • Tomcat Disposables • White Noise • Love, Me Normally • Misanthrapologist • Falling Up • That's Enough, Let's Get You Home

Spotify ♪ Bandcamp ♪ YouTube

[neilpissyrega]

Hey, Willard! Where do you get off? Do you take the first step towards Front Street? Thankk you for the input, but that’s enough, let’s get you home. You aren’t the main character, dude, all you say is just white noise to me, to be honest, and in case I make it, you have to love me, normally. I mean it’s… well, better than the alternative, I guess. Gotta call you a (thermodynamic) lawyer because apparently your friend Dr Sunshine is dead since he didn’t remember 2012- he was too busy being a blackbox warrior. Are you okay? You look like you’ve just had a half-decade hangover, and you also look like you’re falling up. If that’s even possible. I’ll call my friend Mr Capgras, he encountered a secondhand vanity recently, though, so I dunno if he’s okay. My friend Cotard will have a solution, I bet. When somebody needs you, you gotta hand me my shovel, I’m going in! Oh shit, bones! I can see your bones! Are you okay? Memento mori, I guess. If you even know what that means. Nobody is here to deal with your injury except I/Me/Myself. Hang on, my friends from Mary Bell Township are calling. Okay, they hung up. Wanted to tell me a fun fact about apples..? Hurt people, you say? Hurt people! I didn’t hurt you, why would I hurt anyone else? Anyway, um, it’s kind of a lot, but this isn’t my lysergide daydream, so… What happened to your leg? I can see your bones? You hit it against the kitchen floor? Damn, that must have hurt. You know, if you were a tomcat they would have employed euthanasia, which is really unfair to be honest. Dude, look, it’s a cicada! Didn’t know these were cicada days, to be honest. You liked this? You’re fine? Oh, okay, I’ll go, then. That was fun, goodbye!

[the-real-will-wood-daily]

List of Drink References in Will Wood Songs

Spoiler: There is a lot

Everything is a Lot: 6up-5oh has the lines "on the rocks like Galapagos" "Vodka shots dripping down the throat they've been stomping on" and "The Drunk Tanks blood red" Skeletal Appreciation Day has a background line mentioning a Cold Diet Coke Front Street has many references to Alcohol, with the chorus mentioning a toast, and asking what proof is enough for you, as well as the ending mentioning covering your drinks A Little Bit Mine mentions being Hungover Red Moon mentions Moonshine The First Step is about an alcoholic Jimmy Mushroom's Last Drink has it in the name, as well as the song being about driving drunk

SELF-iSH: Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In has multiple references to containers of Alcohol (bottle, well barrel, all are empty) as well as having glass shatter in the background The Normal Album: Suburbia Overture mentions White Wine, and tells you to drink blood I / Me / Myself mentions tea ... Well, Better Than The Alternative has pink lemonade on autumn bomber coats, as well as including a toast Marsha, Thankk You, mentions drinking yourself to death, so does Love, Me Normally

In Case I Make It: Half-Decade Hangover is about Wills experience with the bottle that's all folks! (these are just from his main 4 studio albums)

[yukasyukasyukasyukas]

William Woodiam albums and songs from my favorite to my least favorite

Live versions, singles and ft.s not included as well as songs from albums that aren't on Spotify and prince ali because I'm lazy, besides for the song "...And if I did it, you deserved it" because I love that song🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁🪱🐁

In case I make it

Cicada days

Tomcat disposables

Half-decade hangover

Euthanasia

Against the kitchen floor

That's enough let's get you home

It's kind of a lot

Willard!

White noise

Becoming last names

You liked this (okay, computer)

Vampire reference in minor key

Big fat bitchie's blueberry pie idk what comes after

The main Character

The new normal/ the normal album

Blue velvet/ Suburbia overture

Karen, thanksdfghkjkl for the casserole whatever comes next/ Marsha, thankk you for the dialects but now I need you to leave

The moral implications of a deterministic universe feat. The Onceler/ Laplace's angel/ (and 2018 live at studio demos)

...well, better than the alternative

I lied about the apple thing/ outliars and Hippocrates

Ideas only spread because people like them, the "free market of ideas" is not a meritocracy, it's set of unhealthy coping skills and a corporate oligarchy, wake up, man! Don't let the lies dim you light! Anyways, this one is black box warrior/ BlacBoxWarrior- OKULTRA

A knee-slapping joke referring to how ending tracks on Will Wood albums are always kind of like that/ memento mori/ (and 2018 studio demos)

I/ me/ myself

Second Sight Seer/ 2econd 2ight 2eer

...And if I did it, you deserved it

And the ringmaster is pleased to introduce...

He'll use me for his needle show

We killed Amanda Palmer, Mystery solved

Bleüctipie

Doctors & dealers

Ecsta est fabula, Aplaudite!

Drugs ain't cheap in Poughkeepsie

Recurring Nightmare #432

Nüburbåtizé

Sing the Singer/songwriter song

If we're not careful, we'll turn into alcoholics. I mean... Catholics

Self-ish

Cottard's solution

Mr. Capgras encounters a secondhand vanity

The song with five names a.k.a Soapbox Tao a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists a.k.a. Neospace Government (A.K.A. you can never know)

2012

Hand me my shovel, I'm going in!

-ish

Dr. Sunshine is dead

Self-

Camp here and there (omg, it's CJ and CHB colors)

Your body, my temple

When somebody needs you

The rhumba of death

Venetian blind man

Under a technicolor sky

Evening announcements

Under a monochromatic sky

Afternoon announcements

Yes, to err is human, so don't be one

Good morning, campers!

Morning announcements

Welcome to camp here and there

Everything is a lot

Skeleton appreciation day in vestal, NY

Front steet

¡Aikido!

Cover this song

White knuckle jerk

6up 5oh cop-out

Chemical overreaction/ compound fracture

Jimmy's mushroom's last drink

Thermodynamics lawyer

The first step

Everything is a lot

Red moon

[fandomfreakstudios]

So damn many of Will Wood’s songs on his discography are highly Bojack (and yes, even Bobutter) coded

If you’re a Bojack fan you just gotta listen to some of his stuff. Very similar emotions, similar themes, if you enjoy Bojack there is SO much to get out of it, it kind of drives me crazy there’s so little overlap, which is unfortunate!

Against the Kitchen Floor // Will Wood

Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, But I Need you to Leave // Will Wood

Love, Me Normally // Will Wood

The First Step // Will Wood and the Tapeworms

Cicada Days // Will Wood

Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll // Will Wood

Um, It’s Kind of a Lot // Will Wood

Falling Up // Will Wood

Half Decade Hangover // Will Wood

I/Me/Myself // Will Wood

The Main Character // Will Wood

[swan-and-bolts]

Hello, I'm assigning the crew Will Wood songs!

“ Half-Decade Hangover" or "The First Step" are what I've found to fit you the best:3

(This is all based on vibes, I have very little regard to the lyrics)

The hell is a will wood?

[soggytapeworm]

blah blah blah summary

First Place (it gets a gold star):

Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally my beloved🫶🫶

Second Place (I might give it a participation trophy idk):

Against The Kitchen Floor

Everything Is A Lot:

0 songs left

13 songs eliminated (6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con), ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic), White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?), Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine), Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D., Red Moon, Lysergide Daydream, The First Step, Jimmy Mushrooms’ Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ, Everything is a Lot, Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones), Front Street, Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture)

SELF-iSH:

0 songs left

8 songs eliminated (Self-, 2012, Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus), -Ish, Cotard’s Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca), Dr. Sunshine Is Dead, Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!, The Song with Five Names, a.k.a. Soapbox Tao, a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government, a.k.a. You Can Never Know)

The Normal Album:

1 song left (Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally (winner))

9 songs eliminated (2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.), I / Me / Myself, Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples, Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave, Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world, Love, Me Normally, …well, better than the alternative, BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA)

In Case I Make It:

0 songs left

16 songs eliminated (Tomcat Disposables, Becoming the Lastnames, Euthanasia, Falling Up, Um, it’s Kind of a Lot, Half-Decade Hangover, You Liked This (Okay, Computer!), The Main Character, Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll, Big Fat Bitchie’s Blueberry Pie, Christmas Tree, and Recreational Jell-o Emporium a.k.a. “Mr. Boy is on the Roof Again” (Feat. Pasta by Sneakers McSqueakers) [From “B.F.B.’s B-Sides: Bagel Batches, Marsh-Mallows, & Barsh-Mallows”], Willard!, White Noise, Vampire Reference in a Minor Key, Cicada Days, Against The Kitchen Floor (more like uhh LOSER!!))

Camp Here & There:

0 songs left

13 songs eliminated (Welcome to Camp Here & There, Morning Announcements, Venetian Blind Man (Song), Good Morning, Campers!, The Rhumba of Death, Yes, to Err is Human, So Don’t Be One. (Song), Under A Technicolor Sky, Afternoon Announcements, Under A Monochromatic Sky, Evening Announcements, When Somebody Needs You, Your Body, My Temple)

Others:

0 songs left

6 songs eliminated (Misanthrapologist, …And If I Did, You Deserved It., Ferryman, Wealth & Hellness, Alma Mater, Mr. Fregoli and the Diathesis-Stress Supermodel, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Con (An Untitled Track))