#the first couple days after a dose increase are. not fun

[naomiknight-17]

Also my Ozempic dose went up yesterday and I'm TIRED and been feeling woozy and a little sick and I DON'T WANNA

[the-courtsjester]

Can you do Jean, Lisa, and anyone else you want asking out a male reader?

Greetings Ladies and gentlemen and things. Welcome to some more headcanons for Jean, Lisa, Herta, and the first non Genshin or Star Rail character Harley Quinn! I've been playing Suicide Squad: Kills the Justice League recently with some friends, it's not a bad game I find it fun

Jean, Lisa, Herta, and Harley Quinn asking Male Reader out

Jean:

Jean, being the Acting Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius doesn't leave time for much time for ones self, but if she dose get a day off she'll spend that time with you seeing as how you're one of her best friends.

She has had feelings for you for awhile wanting to be the one that will protect you forever, but she's never found the right opportunity to show them.

But she decided to ask you out on her day off, she'd walk up to you all smooth like, actually she was as stiff as a bored, she would ask you out on a date early in the day and when you agree she'd be squealing on the inside.

She didn't come up with much for the date, most likely just going to Good Hunter and taking a stroll around Mondstadt before heading to big tree in Windrise.

All in all though she'll enjoy the day with you no matter what happens, and definitely planning more now that you're both together.

Lisa:

She spends most her day doing nothing besides keeping the library clean, reading, and the occasional talk about the books that need to be returned, so when she was bored on a slow day she had the perfect idea.

She strolled by your home and asked you out to a date, once it had hit the time you both agreed on she took you out to a nice spot on a hill to enjoy a picnic date.

Lisa's flirting gets turned up a by ten and if that doesn't get you flustered she'll keep increasing it, calling you cutie and darling and everything under the sun.

After you two are back in Mondstadt she'll have you both snuggle together somewhere comfy and you'll read a book together, seems a bit much on a first date but this is Lisa.

Herta:

Herta isn't the type to ask someone out on a date, she was most likely the one asked out and for some reason she agreed, but she wouldn't do a normal date of going somewhere she'll bring you to her room and do something there together.

She probably sits on your lap during the date and probably has some of her puppets hug you from either side as well, she definitely leans on you as she sits in your lap and you definitely rest your head on her head, it's only fair.

As she does whatever she's doing during the date, she shows it off to you and talks about what it does, do you understand it? Probably not, does she care? Not really, she's just happy that you'll listen to her speak nonsense.

If, and I mean if, you can get Herta to go on a somewhat normal date of going somewhere, you get to bring a couple of her puppets, but being on the Space Station means there's not much to do, but lucky for you she'll use the Simulated Universe to spend some quality time together watching stars and doing nothing.

After the date is done Herta will have a puppet follow you around to make sure you're safe and fine, you've become one of the few things she's attached to now and won't let go.

Harley Quinn:

Harleen Quinzel A.K.A Harley Quinn, the clown princesses of crime, my love you knew her from Arkham seeing as how you got tossed in by the Bat as well, but story for another time she met you a couple times in there and said something along the lines of, "when we get out of here I'm taking you on a date" ...so she broke you out of there immediately afterwards.

Her date with you consisted of robbing banks, blowing shit up, and other various crimes, she steals all sorts of things for you wither it be a pokemon card to a diamond she doesn't care so long as it makes happy.

Soon though Batman shows up and puts a stop to her crime date with you, and you both get tossed back in Arkham, you would assume she'd stop there but this is Harley Quinn we're talking about, she's going to try and break out again with you but to much less success.

So she decided to continue the date in Arkham and just watch people beat the shit out of each other, it's a favorite pastime of hers besides letting the blood rush to her head, she'll also take you to eat in the cafeteria seeing as you didn't get to enjoy food outside of Arkham.

But once the day is finally over and you both are back in your cells she somehow managed to slip notes into your roomtalking about how much fun she had, she also said in the notes that she's excited to do it again sometime, so hope you look forward to breaking out every other day.

Finally it's done jesus christ, Jean felt so awkward to write for and I don't know why, but felt great to write for Harley Quinn seeing as she's one of my favorite characters, she was also my first none Genshin or Star Rail character glad it was her.

And scene...

[piffany666]

Ok just one more punk progeny won't hurt~

Chapter 4: the sun

TW: this Chapter contains purposefully induced PTSD flashbacks, self harm and smoking if any of these topics make you uncomfortable I recommend you scroll to below the red line, past this line is after the potentially uncomfortable situation ends.

Ftm trans Bright eyes (he/him pronouns)

Bright smoked as he sat on the roof of the solaire mansion.

Not so long ago he renounced smoking and demoted himself to vapeing but he made the compelling argument of 'its not like vampires can get lung cancer' besides, when he exhaled smoke protruded out of the bite holes in his neck and to him that was a compelling enough reason.

As he exhaled, the memories he'd made over the last few hours played in his head.

He did have a lot of fun with Vincent. It did feel good to hang out with another vampire that wasn't Sam, Fred or just some guy he met at a bar because his friends sucked.

So....why was he here?

He looked towards the horizon as he took a drag of the cigarette, in the direction of Wonder World.

The sun was creeping almost menacingly over the horizon but Bright had some time to kill before the sun came out of hiding.

He had a good day. He had found someone to talk to besides Tanker that truly understood him.

So why. Was. He. Here?

He asked himself again, eyes still attached to the horror movie set of a place he was made in.

Finally he closed his eyes, allowing the smoke to coil around him.

He remembered everything....he remembered everything as if it happened only yesterday.

The way the excitement melted away into dread and horror as the skull of Quinn's last victim rolled into view.

The way Fred ran, the way Bright lingered on a little longer than him.

Fred may have begun running before him but Bright was faster and it wasn't long before he overtook him.

Somewhere along the way Fred had fallen behind.

It was a good thing Fred told him to keep going because he probably would have kept running anyway and Fred would probably hate him even more than he already dose if that had been the case.

At least that's what Bright told himself.

Bright's heart rate began to increase so he instinctually took another drag.

He kept. On. Running.

Eventually the sound of his best friend's voice got quiet, whether or not it was due to distance or the fact that he was dead wouldn't be known until later on.

Because of this, Bright allowed himself to slow down. How many worst mistakes of your life can you make in one night?

Until eventually he heard a sound that could only be described as "woosh" and he was knocked to the ground along with his breath.

A low groan came from him before the ability to breathe was put into question.

Then HE appeared.

At first he was just a silhouette then his features became visible as he grabbed Bright's wrists and dropped his knees onto his stomach and chest.

He could still hear his voice...

"You should have listened to your friend little mouse~ didn't anybody tell you not to stay out late

On Halloween?~"

Bright scratched at his neck as if to swat him away, but he wasn't there.....all he did was reopen the wound.

The cigarette fell from his lips and onto the roof where he held his knees in his hands.

Nothing he did NOW would change what happened THEN so the memory played on.

He continued scratching at the bite mark as the situation played out in his head, desperately trying to get through the memory of the second most painful experience of his life.

Whether it was the blood loss or the sophistication, eventually everything just....stopped.

The pain....stopped.

Exept there was no breath left in him to let out a sigh of relief.

For what seemed like forever but upon looking back what was probably only a couple minutes, Bright just layed there, body numb from the feeling of nothing.

It felt....nice

Like he never had to feel any kind of pain ever again, physical or otherwise.

But then like a defibrillator to the neck, he was jolted back to semi consciousness.

He wouldn't describe himself as awake but he could see what was happening to him, his best friend, the one guy he least expected to hurt him in any way, in the same position as his killer,

Sucking at the bite mark left by him.

Bright felt himself wince as what was left of his bloody insides were slurped up into Fred.

When Fred's mouth left Bright's neck, Bright assumed it was over so he let himself go numb, which only made it sting more when Fred ripped his own neck wound and lowered himself so it flowed like a fountain into Bright's mouth.

At first he began spluttering and choking but then he gave up on struggling and allowed himself to drown.

He couldn't speak at the time, he knew that, but in his mind he heard himself screaming at Fred to stop and that he didn't understand what he was doing

But he knew he wanted him to stop.

But he did not waver till there was no more blood to give and when he drained himself dry he collapsed next to him.

They were both looking to the sky when they died together.

Bright's eyes jolted open as he began screaming in anger, agony and regret

The sun had finally made its way past the threshold of the horizon and the only thing protecting him from its burn was the shadow that the solaire mansion cast, so amongst the screaming that went unheard, he pulled back his sleeve and removed his glove that did its best to hide the battle scares from him and the sun's past encounters, and he shoved his arm into the light.

His screaming became more of a hiss as he felt his skin burn and sizzle

_________________________________________

He didn't know when he planned to stop

But luckily somone wasn't going to let him make that choice.

He felt himself being pulled backwards then he was swiftly turned around to face the figure that pulled him, however he wasn't able to see their face as his face was being held close to the chest of his saviour.

He could feel arms cover his body as if to shield him, he could hear a hiss come from the body that held him, almost to threaten the light that burned him.

Eventually the figure loosened their grip, allowing Bright to look up at them

It was William.

He didn't look angry, he just looked....protective...?

Like the sun had attempted to take somthing important from him.

After a moment of this, he no short of scooped Bright up and made a motion that could only be described as "wooshed" him down from the roof, sticking to the shadows.

Bright blinked and then he found himself in William's office again, still huddled in his arms.

William placed him onto the chair he sat in last time and looked him in the eyes.

"Were going to talk about what you were just doing, but before any of that I need to heal you, it will hurt more than it did last time, is that OK?"

Through tears that Bright couldn't prevent from falling, he nodded.

Before he began his work, William removed his belt and gave it to Bright

"You'll be needing this" Bright knew what to do.

He placed the flattened rope of leather into his mouth and felt his teeth press into it.

"Alright" William said to no one in particular.

The burn wound was very visible and within healing range but Bright was a very....skittish person so William wanted to be as careful as possible.

He slowly intertwined his fingers with Bright's and brought his arm up to him. He let go of Bright's hand and took his arm into both his hands to place it in front of him.

He looked at Bright one last time then began to work.

It was just like last time exept the feeling was throughout his whole arm, Bright tried his best to be still for him but he couldn't stop himself from kicking and squirming, he continued to bite into the belt he held in his mouth, tears now streaming down his face.

After healing his arm he moved onto his bite wound that now had a claw mark that was bound to scar.

After a good few minutes of that, William let go as fast as he could.

"There it's done"

Bright spat the belt out his mouth and a spluttering noise came from him as the tears continued.

After Bright had fully composed himself, he looked up at William who had a look of sympathy on his face, but not pity

Never pity.

"H-how did you know I was - that I would?-"

"Fred had told Sam that he could feel you feeling.....bad and that he worried you were going to 'do something stupid' Sam informed me of this and when I heard a scream come from the roof and given where the sun is currently, let's just say I put two and two together"

Looks like his literal cry for help didn't fall on deaf ears this time.

William looked Bright dead in the eyes, the look of sympathy still plastered on his face.

"I wouldn't describe what you just did as stupid, I'd describe it as....understandable but equally unfortunate"

Bright looked down

"Bright, I am older than you could ever imagine, I can recognise a cry for help when I see one"

At that, he picked the belt up from the floor and began to re applie it to his waist.

He then sat on the edge of his desk

"Talk"

This wasn't a command as much as it was an invitation but Bright still felt like he didn't want to know what would happen if he didn't do what he told him.

"W-well i-i" he took a moment to compose himself and breathed in

"I spent the day with Vincent"

"Oh?"

"Y-yeah, I had a lot of fun....it was nice"

"I'm glad"

"But i-i.....I don't deserve it....there is SO much I don't deserve...so i-i guess this was kinda like a...l-like a-"

"A punishment"

Bright looked up at him

"Y-yeah...I know it's stupid of me I just-"

"No it isn't. It's completely understandable, I mean since the very beginning of your vampire life everyone you have ever had to interact with has blamed you for what happened and since you agree with them, I can see why you wouldn't deem yourself worthy of happiness"

Bright was stunned, he knew he was old but he didn't exactly expect him to hit the nail on the head with this one.

"Y-Yeah..."

"Are you a man of faith Bright?"

Bright looked confused at the sudden seemingly off topic question.

"Why?"

"A few centuries ago there was a vampire I knew who was very religious and he believed himself to be worthy of hell, but since that was never going to be, he made sure his immortality, or what he called purgatory, would be filled with nothing but misery because he believed himself to be worthy of nothing but just that, misery."

William then got up and went rooting in one of his draws.

Giving Bright a minute to marinate on what he had been told.

William eventually pulled out a small piece of paper and then went over to Bright

"Here I want you to have this, but I want you to know that this dose not contribute to your decision, you may take this regardless of your decision"

Bright took the paper from him.

When he un-crumpled it he saw that it was a phone number and a name he couldn't pronounce but that didn't tell him much.

"What is this?"

"It's the phone number to the best therapist in the area, I'll pay for it however like I previously stated, I will do so regardless of whether or not you agree to be my progeny"

Bright's eyes became wide, he had wanted a therapist that actually knew what they were doing since before he died.

"Thank you"

He said breathlessly

"It's no trouble, I'll let you know when I inform him of the payment situation, now, it's time for you to sleep, I assume you've been having trouble with the sleeping situation so I recommend you start going to sleep at this time for now on"

"O-ok"

Bright had slept here many times before so he had no trouble finding his guest room but before he left, he thanked William one more time.

William nodded and smiled.

When Bright left William picked up his phone.

.........

"I trust you made it here safely then?~"

.........

"Good I'm glad to hear that, you're earlier than we agreed, miss your old home that much hmm?~"

..........

"Alright, Alright I won't jest, I suppose I just wanted to lighten the mood given the circumstances of your return"

..........

"Alright, oh! And there's somone I think you should meet, I think the two of you would get along very well~"

Taggs: @darlin-collins @anexistingexistence @you-think-i-care-mate

[sendaidivision]

Kiya Kara Team Dynamics 🌲

Ryūzō, out of the three professors, is the only one who has seen actual combat and has spilled blood before, thus making him the most proficient in attack. He is also quite quick on his feet, due in no small part to his former training as a ninja. Despite being the leader, however, he is usually placed in the back row, or off on the sides, which is what he prefers, as it is allows him to ambush his opponents. Though he hasn't spilled blood in a long while, he has not forgotten his training, and can easily slip into his old ways at the flick of a wrist. His ability, which distorts his opponents' field of visions, can be used for both offense and defense, depending on the situation.

Takumi is the most brawny and athletic of the three teachers. His huge body and muscle mass makes him the most suitable candidate for defense, though with his skill at kendo, he can easily switch to offense if needed. Well-known for his boisterous voice and personality, he never fails to invigorate both himself and the crowd to get behind him and his team. His ability increases the morale and attack power of himself and his fellow teachers, making the team even more dangerous than they already are.

Kotono is usually placed in the back row by her fellow professors and teammates. The weakest in attack and defense, she functions as the group's support, strategist and health expert, able to minimize the amount of damage she and her teammates can take by observing her opponent's body languages and how she and her friends should move. Despite being the third member, she is the most knowledgeable about the Hypnosis Microphones and is the one who taught Ryūzō and Takumi how to use them. Her ability is similar to Jiro Yamada's, in that she can only use it once and it is extremely risky. Should the ability hit, however, it not only eliminates one of her opponents, but fully heals her.

— Ryūzō

Takumi to Ryūzō is his fellow teacher that he, unfortunately, must call his coworker. To this day, Ryūzō does not know which of the two of them approached the other first (he believes it was Takumi), and how exactly this started a sort of friendship between the two. Regardless, the two men became good acquaintances and now talk with each other whenever the both of them are free. However, there are times when Ryūzō becomes frustrated with the loud physical education teacher, wishing very much that he'd tone down his boisterous and unruly behavior. He also dislikes how Takumi frequently teases and pokes fun at him for his attitude and persona.

Besides that, he still gets on well with the physical education teacher, so long as it is in very small doses. In Rap Battles, the two men work together in unison, delivering hard-hitting blows to their opponents which they've developed from years of training as children.

Kotono to Ryūzō is his fellow professor that he admires in school, but not so much out of it. After he had found out about how she keeps her apartment, he began helping her to clean and cook, not content with seeing her live in filth. He doesn't know why he did that for her, but something compelled him to. In his free time, he also helps with her study plan, wanting to make sure she is on top when it comes to her teaching. As stated, it's unknown why Ryūzō goes out of his way to care for Kotono. Many rumors circulate that the two may be a couple, but some students (especially those who have a crush on either of the adult educators) pay such talk no mind.

Though Ryūzō can get frustrated with Kotono's laziness and her lifestyle, for all his griping, he still does it. In Rap Battles, Ryūzō does his best to defend Kotono, all the while listening to her advice and acting on it.

— Takumi

Ryūzō to Takumi is his friendly coworker that he loves to razzle up in an effort to get him out of his comfort zone. As stated, it's unknown who approached who first, though many believe it was Takumi. The two have a relationship akin to that of Hifumi and Doppo of Matenrou, with Takumi increasingly trying to get Ryūzō to open up more and be more sociable and outgoing. He is either unaware or doesn't care that the Languages Studies teacher has no interest in this and simply wishes to do his job and return home for the day.

Despite his friendly behavior, Takumi secretly harbors a bit of envy towards Ryūzō, believing that the Languages Studies professor is standing in the way of him being with their fellow teacher and teammate, Kotono. It's for this reason he has declared Ryūzō as his rival and seeks to beat him in whatever the two are doing. While this often creates a chaotic and volatile situation from time-to-time, Ryūzō does admire Takumi's competitiveness, even if he doesn't know the reason for it.

In Rap Battles, the two fight together on the frontlines, utilizing their skill at swordplay and fighting to decimate their opponents. Takumi also shields Ryūzō from blows, while Ryūzō helps Takumi to evade any hits coming his way.

Kotono to Takumi is his fellow coworker that he secretly admires and wishes to be with someday. He admires her for both her beauty and her intellect. He enjoys conversing with her and constantly goes out of his way to talk with her, or make her feel important. He hopes that by doing so, she will someday take notice of him. He constantly works up the nerve to admit his feelings for her, but is afraid to do so because he doesn't wish to ruin their friendship. It also doesn't help that Ryūzō is in the mix, even if isn't aware of either of his coworkers' feelings.

To that end, Takumi enjoys being and hanging around Kotono. The two often go out for drinks or chat with each other about their classes, students or their lives are. Although Kotono wishes Ryūzō would join them, Takumi is glad that he doesn't, as he enjoys it just being the two of them. In Rap Battles, Takumi defends Kotono just as much as he defends Ryūzō. And if someone hurts her, intentional or not, he goes berserk on them, hitting them with everything he's got.

— Kotono

Ryūzō to Kotono is her fellow coworker whom she describes as "too secretive for his own good." Like Takumi, she often tries to get the stern, stoic professor to open up more, not to only to his peers but to her. Truthfully, she admires Ryūzō very much. She doesn't know if this equates to love, or just liking a certain aspect of him, but she does enjoy Ryūzō, despite his reluctance to open up, and his bad habit of torturing his poor students.

This may be why Kotono allows Ryūzō to see her for who she is: a woman who doesn't fully have it all together. Despite how she may appear in public, her private life is a mess, and Ryūzō is the only person, aside from her family, who knows about it. She is thankful that he comes by once a week and makes sure her house is in order, and for helping her with her lesson plan. She wishes she could do better so Ryūzō wouldn't have to worry about her.

In Rap Battles, Kotono, as the strategist, is quick to relay plans to Ryūzō, who follows them. With his keen intellect and his cunning speed and agility, they are a force to be reckoned with.

Takumi to Kotono is her fellow teacher whom she enjoys going out and having a good time with. The two get along well since they have the same hobbies and likes. It's believed Takumi approached Kotono before Ryūzō did, which is why the two of them have a much better relationship. The two often tag team the Language Studies professor to get him to open up, but to no avail. Still, the duo refuse to let up.

Despite that, Kotono does often get annoyed with Takumi's boisterous personality and very loud voice. While she finds it funny at times, she can get annoyed when he is being a general nuisance or doesn't know the meaning of "inside voice". This get even worse when he is drunk. Still, she can't stay mad at the guy, finding his behavior enamoring most of the time. In Rap Battles, like Ryūzō, Kotono relays her plans to Takumi, who follows them without question.

[soft-subby-boi]

thinking about sex after bottom surgery.....

I'd be less sensitive than I'm used to... And I'd have to go without touching for a couple months during recovery..,. Maybe my t dose gets increased around the same time so I'd be sooo needy and dumbb....

Maybe someone special takes care of me during recovery. I'm such a dumb puppy... Maybe I'd need them to keep me in line, following the doctor's instructions. Maybe I'd misbehave, insisting I could do things myself before I'm ready.... Maybe they'd say they'll punish me later. Like a dumb toy, I'd probably forget after a few days.

Maybe after recovery, they'd be the one to touch my new cock for the first time... After all, they're the one who listened to the doctor. They're the one who remembered the rules and kept it healthy.. really, this cock belongs to them....

Maybe they'd have so much fun playing with their new toy. Maybe I'd get even dumber, even fuzzier, needier. Maybe more desperate than I ever thought possible.....

Maybe, after hours of edging, after I've lost my voice making such pretty noises for them... Maybe they'd leave me like that. Maybe they'd tie up my hands so I couldn't touch their new toy... maybe they're not ready to share yet. Maybe they'd remind me of all the punishments I'd earned ... "Silly puppy", they'd say, "did you forget? For every time you disobeyed, you'll spend one day as my precious, stupid little toy. Do you even remember how many punishments you earned??" Maybe I'd be too hazy to respond... Maybe they'd have rubbed all the thoughts out of their puppy's mind ...

Maybe they'd watch me squirm and whimper. "Aww, my poor little fucktoy... Maybe I'll keep you like this forever"

[earnestly-endlessly]

hi! hope you're doing well :) do you have any domestic!cherik fics? or established relationship ones?

Hi anon, thanks for the ask. I'm doing very well, been super busy because I'm currently moving but it's all good. I have plenty of great domestic/established relationship cherik fics for you. I hope you enjoy!!

Domestic/Established Relationship cherik

Daycare ‘Verse’ – orphan_account, pocky_slash

Summary: A modern AU in which Charles runs a mutant daycare and Erik is his long-suffering engineer boyfriend.

Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)

Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.

But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.

"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.

Gift of the Magi, But Screw it Up – librata

Summary: He doesn't know if he's buying too much, too little, or even the right things at all, because he's never entertained a guest as important as Edie Lehnsherr.

Making perfect – aesc

Summary: As is the case with most trials in Erik's life, this one starts with Charles gazing beseechingly at him and asking him for a favor. Not that their going-on-three years relationship is a trial, even though it started with Charles giving Erik the full benefit of sad blue eyes and asking him if he wouldn't mind opening his car door since he'd locked his keys inside, but still.

Continue firm and constant – aesc

Summary: Moira hasn't seen her old partner in saving the world from threats human and intergalactic, Erik Lehnsherr, for a few years. When she finally does see him again, she finds a man different from the one who's been with her down in the dark and the dirt and the blood... or maybe he isn't so different after all.

After School Special – listerinezero

Summary: Charles was barely seventeen and Erik was his social studies teacher. But after almost fifteen years together, does it really matter how they met?

Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him.

For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.

Trying is Half the Battle – Pookaseraph

Summary: Post-Cuba, no divorce, Charles and Erik are in an established relationship and when Charles gets sick with a random flu bug, they discover that Charles can get pregnant. They then try to get pregnant, and try, and try.

We’ll all be gone for the summer – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles and Erik's usual family beach vacation gets a little bigger when they agree to watch Erik's teenaged twins for the summer. Charles is looking forward to a chance to bond with his step-children. Erik is terrified of screwing them up even more.

A Summer Day So Late in Coming – helens78

Summary: Fifty years after they fell in love, Erik comes to Charles with a proposal that rocks Charles's world.

Still Going Strong – JackyJango

Summary: Speaking of forty-eight, Erik hates it. Hates it even more that others are aware of it. While he’s pragmatic enough to know and accept that aging is inexorable, the increase in number gives the people around him the freedom to pounce at him with questions, opinions and advice he'd fought to keep at bay all year.

Besides, Erik believes that youth is a state of mind, not a phase in one’s life.

You have a child’s mind in a man’s body, Charles constantly tells him.

But despite his age, Erik is healthy. He works out daily. His muscles are steel and he can dead-lift four hundred pounds. He can break bones without breaking a sweat. Most importantly, he can still carry Charles to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. And as long as Erik can do that, he’s perfectly happy.

Before You Attempt Me (Fair Warning) – kianspo

Summary: Charles helps Raven get ready for the prom. Surprisingly, that part goes well. The prom itself not so much. Erik cooks a lot of unhealthy comfort foods and is incredibly patient. Charles mostly frets about everything, until Erik does something neither he, nor Raven see coming.

And now you will not be alone any more – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik gives driving, sewing, and cooking lessons, soothes nightmares, bolsters self-esteem, and still can't figure out why Charles keeps smiling at him like that.

Some sense of touch and a melody – pocky_slash

Summary: On a day when Charles, for once, finds himself saying the right thing to everyone he sees, he allows himself to be talked into a field trip to a local orchard.

It’s kind of our whole thing – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: After two years of best friendship, Charles and Erik thought they knew everything there was to know about each other. They're surprised, then, when their first summer as a couple reveals that they have a lot to learn about each other and themselves.

Indulgence – grim_lupine

Summary: “The children are still asleep,” Charles murmurs groggily, flinging an arm out as if searching for Erik beside him. “The house is still standing, this is a ghastly hour, and more importantly, I’m still here. Why do you insist on doing this every morning?”

Your Father’s Daughter – ConsultingWriter

Summary: Wanda proves just how much she takes after Erik.

Pietro reeled back before leaning back in "They didn't tell you what happened? Wanda got in a fist fight and totally wailed on this guy, I mean, on one hand I feel kinda embarrassed for him, but it was so epic."

Erik's eyebrows shot to his hairline. Wanda got in a fight? That was....surprising, to say the least. Wanda tended to take after Charles in temperament and preferred talking to violence.

This Crazy Game Called Life – chiasmus

Summary: Raven declares game night in the mansion. Sean finds an elephant, Erik inherits one hundred unwanted cats, and Charles scars Hank for life with misdirected dirty thinking. This is five thousand-something words of crack with a dose of schmoop. I'm not sorry. Written for this kink meme prompt: Raven is tired of the boys going off to play chess (if they're even playing chess!) and pulls out a load of board games from one of the closets in the mansion. Madness ensues.

To my roomba with love – sareyen

Summary: There are a lot of things that Erik loves about Charles. He loves all of the obvious things; Charles’s kindness, his intelligence, his laughter, his eyes. He also loves the little private things; the way Charles sneaks Erik his unwanted tomatoes, his warbled opera singing in the shower, that sensitive spot on his hip.

And he loves the silly things about Charles, especially the way the man has a habit of talking to inanimate objects when he thinks no one is looking. Charles has conversations with the kettle, the washing machine, and their roomba – and every time Erik eavesdrops on him, he falls in love with the man a little bit more.

Everything About it is a Love Song – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik's spent fifty years being a figurehead and he's ready to leave that behind. Luckily, so is Charles.

(aka Old Retired Dudes in Love)

A Very Xavier-Lehnsherr Christmas – zamwessell

Summary: Erik is discovering new things about Charles Xavier all the time. Charles sometimes talks in his sleep. Often about food. Occasionally in Latin. Charles has a scar on his left thigh from attempting to demonstrate relativity to a girl by sitting on a hot stove. Charles doesn’t mean to be so loud when they make love, but sometimes Charles can’t help himself.

Charles is a voracious reader. Charles has an unspeakably filthy imagination. Charles will try anything in bed twice to make sure he wasn’t wrong the first time.

Charles is unexpectedly fond of Christmas. Perhaps that is not the phrase. “Unhealthily obsessed” might be better.

The fluffiest holiday fluff you ever read in your dang life.

Of Crabs and Castles – flightinflame 

Summary: Charles and Erik take their children to the beach. Wanda builds a sandcastle, Nina makes some friends, and Pietro gets some exercise. Some family fun in the sunshine.

Bring Your Daughter To Work Day – listerinezero

Summary: Charles brings three year old Lorna to class with him.

Glasses – grim_lupine

Summary: Charles blinks at him bemusedly, but Erik barely notices because Charles is wearing glasses— wire-rimmed, and Erik can feel the metal humming, traces without touch the way they follow the curve of Charles’s nose and rest behind his ears.

Genetics Isn’t Sexy – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles lectures. The kids aren't very responsive. Erik, on the other hand....

Peanut Butter and Honey (The Fairytale Remix) – pocky_slash

Summary: Once upon a time there was a Princess named Anya who lived in a house with her Daddy and her wicked stepmother Charles. (A wicked stepmother is the person who comes and lives with princesses and their daddies after their mommies go away.) She had a best friend named Leroy, and one day he was lost.

The Bystander (The Consultant (aka A Westchester Telepath in the Avengers Tower) Remix) – Nanimok

Summary: When it comes to Professor Charles Xavier, telepath, SHIELD consultant and compulsive flirt, no one is safe.

Not even the Big Three.

[kimabutch]

Don’t reblog!

So tomorrow I take my second dose of T (and I’m a little nervous cause last time a nurse helped me but this time I’ll be doing it alone, so wish me luck!) and I thought maybe I’d keep track of the changes regularly, both for me and anyone else who’s curious. So in the past two weeks:

I’ve been so fucking hungry constantly. It’s funny, I was talking to my sister just before starting T about how one of the nice things about being an adult, as opposed to a teenager, is that you’re capable of feeling full, and for like, hours at a time. Well, turns out when you go through puberty (heh, puber-T) again, that Bottomless Pit feeling returns. 

I’m definitely getting a little more body hair. It’s hard to tell because I’m already extremely hairy and don’t generally shave anywhere, but I know for sure that I didn’t used to have underarm hair that extended so far past my pits. I swear I’ve also got a couple random long hairs on my belly. 

I’ve been playing a constant game of “is my voice dropping or do I have a sore throat?” and even more often “is my voice dropping or is it just wishful thinking?” That being said, I know that a slightly sore throat is normal before a voice drop, and I’m fairly sure that I was able to hit some low notes while singing that I couldn’t before. But again, maybe wishful thinking, especially because it’s one of the things I’m most dysphoric about. 

It’s also pretty hard to tell whether my increased energy, need for more sleep, and mood swings are due to T or just my mental health being all over the place and external factors. But it’s fun to blame T for it. 

In general, I’m just super happy and excited about this. The moment after my first shot, I had a sudden strong feeling of “oh this is exactly what I wanted to do,” and though some doubts have resurfaced since then, they’ve all been about how people I care about might react to my transition, as opposed to this being the path I want to take right now. I feel so hopeful about what the future might bring, and what I can make of the future :D

(Below the cut: menstruation & TMI/NSFW stuff) 

My menstrual cycle has gone a little wonky — I started T a few days after my last period, but started getting some PMS symptoms last week, and then started my period again the other day. Not super happy about that, since my period is generally extremely regular, but I’m hoping that it either goes away or gets used to the new hormones. 

Easily the most noticeable and fastest change has been bottom growth and just ridiculous I’m-14-again horniness. The former is cool but the latter is, well, inconvenient, to say the least. Hopefully that evens out, too. 

[exeggcute]

Sorry if this is personal and feel free not to answer but I remember seeing some posts about you taking humira and I was just wondering if you feel like it works slash how fast it works? I’m starting soon for crohn’s and I’m just really praying for any result because I currently just feel miserable and like I can’t do anything. Thanks so much for any advice and I wish you all the best with your treatments <3

no worries at all, I'm always happy to talk about stuff like this!!! I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time rn, crohn's is not fun :(

I personally take humira for ankylosing spondylitis, so idk how much of my experience would personally translate to you since the symptoms and dosage are a bit different (although crohn's and AS are pretty closely linked and a ton of people have both, so, not that far off?), and I also know that everyone is different... some people swear that they felt the drugs working IMMEDIATELY after the first dose of biologics, or within like a week or two, but I think it took at least a month before I really noticed anything. ymmv.

it has helped me a ton though. I recently increased my dose from one pen every fourteen days to one pen every seven to ten days just because I'd noticed the pain would start coming back a few days before my next dose and had some areas of pain that weren't as improved as other areas (although it turns out that might because of a physical injury in my hip and not inflammation, which would explain why the humira wasn't solving it, lol). but if humira isn't cutting the mustard for you (either in the short term or if it ever starts to get less effective over time), there's a ton of other biologics you can try that might work better for you: remicade, cimzia, and a bunch more. I know some people with AS will say that it took them a couple different drugs before they found the one that worked best—my rheumatologist suggested I might try enbrel or something similar if I'm not satisfied with the higher dose of humira. everyone reacts a little differently to each drug, so it just depends on which one you respond to best!

fingers crossed that you get lucky on the first try and the humira works for you!! I really hope you get some relief soon. just hang in there; if the humira isn't the magic bullet you need, there's a ton of other options out there, and even if humira only helps partway then that should still buy you some time to white-knuckle through it until you can try the next drug. and idk if you've ever injected yourself before (I never had before) but I promise it's not bad at all. sometimes I seriously don't even feel the needle... you just gotta make sure to keep the pen flush against your skin and try not to flinch or the fluid will leak out lol. I always remind myself that it's better to feel a quick pinch than to spend two weeks in agony but after you've done a couple shots it's easy peasy!!

[herstarburststories]

Quarantine Boredoom (Dick Grayson x Reader)

✾ A/N: It’s been a certain couple of months since I wrote smut/erotica, but here you go! Although, I think it’s better classified as silly porn aka Nightwing’s type? Anyway! Thanks to my friend for being my beta for this one.

✾ Request: hiya! i saw that your requests are open and then i had a mini asthma attack because i had come back from binge reading your masterlist oops,,,,that got me thinking,,,how funny would it be if reader has asthma and just has to use their puffer during sex? like could you imagine if that were to happen to dick or jason? i’d like to see that happen 👀 also your writing is absolutely amazing!!! keep up the good work!! 💕👌🏻🤠

✾ Disclaimer: fingering.

A purposefully loud huff escaped your lips when your body met Dick's couch. He looked away from the copy of Robin Hood in his hand to raise an eyebrow, but the only response he received was a dramatic sigh.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" Bludhaven's protector ultimately asked, placing his book on the desk to offer his girlfriend unrestricted attention.

"I’ve never been so bored in my life," you grunted, tilting your head in one of your best dramatic performances. "Quarantine isn’t as fun as it looks in the movies."

"I'm sure zombies will appear and we’ll convert to cannibalism soon, (Y/N). Don't worry," Dick replied, humor obvious in his tone. You rolled your eyes, huffing once more. "Also, it’s only been two days. You can't be that bored, right?"

"Easy for you to talk, Nightwing. You still go out on patrol every night. Something you shouldn't do, by the way." You changed the subject of conversation, returning to a topic which you and Dick widely disagreed. Fortunately, the acrobat had an idea of ​​how to entertain you and change the subject to something less likely to end up with him sleeping in the room he currently resided in.

"You know I can’t abandon my role, (Y/N). Especially at a time like this. I take the necessary precautions, like using my sticks instead of punching them in the face, don't worry." His patented wink was followed by the classic playful smile. Before you could rationalize the joke, he continued, "But I might have a hint of ​​how to get you rid of your boredom..."

The suggestive tone in his speech caught your interest instantaneously. "I would love to hear your idea, Dick Grayson."

Grayson's next words evaporated upon his lips, giving space to a malicious smirk as his body leaned over yours on the couch. His mouth easily found its home; your lips, into the slow, lazy beginnings of a kiss.

When you drink for the first time, it is easy to get drunk. Then, you start drinking on more occasions and your limit increases. Two glasses are needed when, a while ago, it would take just one. The organism gets used to it and needs more to achieve the sensation of the first time. With Dick, it always felt like the first time. It didn't matter if he had kissed you two minutes or two months ago; every single touch of him reached a new layer of everything good that someone could transfer to another person, like discovering a new exciting part of yourself.

His hand cupped your cheek, drawing you closer in. The world existed outside that apartment, each minute still had sixty seconds, and Dick Grayson was willing to spend all of them making your body reach a new level of highness for him, without even needing more doses of change to do so. Your heart felt like it was tied to his touch and his only. Dick's hand slowly fell down on the side of your face. His thumb pulled down your lower lip, a farewell present in the intense softness of the gesture.

You giggled, and Richard smiled at you. The playful fingers began their private journey in search of paradise itself on earth. More murmurous kisses were offered as bargain and readily accepted by you. It was a small distraction from the new heights your body was reaching.

Fingers from your chin to jaw, his tongue found yours and caressed it as if he were trained for it. Kissing him was like a dance, it always had been. Grayson's hand stopped on your neck for a moment, but there was no trace of pressure there. Dick just kept dancing, holding on; you wanted to wrap your legs around him, offer some comfort to your wet pussy, even if it was just pressing it against his erection, which was now hard against your leg, to make his self-control more difficult. Yet, you knew better than that. He would have already pulled your legs if that was the plan. His fingerprints on your chest indicated the antics the hero wanted to use.

Dick placed his lips on your neck, lavishing attention upon that spot as much as he wanted. You closed your eyes, unable to decide what you liked most: the bites and gentle suction on your neck or the tender fingers that were already on your stomach. Your hips moved of their own will, seeking the carnal solace you craved as you moaned softly. The former Robin laughed in pleasure at your neediness, moving away from his little branding job to look you in the eyes. He loved to watch you like this, spreading your legs for him while his hand found its way inside your pants.

And now, looking at you and feeling wetness in your panties, Dick decided to keep it a bit slow, as if to see how far you would go. After all, it had been three long weeks without sexual activity. Between his work of detective division vigilante and yours in full-time journalism, 24 hours weren't always enough, but in this moment, all he had to worry about was how needy for him you could get.

Grayson's digits circled your vulva, playing on the edges of its outer lips until he received an impatient sigh from you. He laughed, temporarily satisfied. You looked at him, ready to tell him to do what he knew how to do, but you were silenced by one of his fingers entering your vagina. You pressed your lips together and pushed hips towards him, a nonverbal way of saying that you wanted more. Dick, however, just moved his finger out of your reach. It caused you to open your eyes, stunned.

"Dick!" You were breathless, probably from the rush of sensations he had been — and was supposed to still be — making you experience.

"What?" There was false innocence in his voice that contradicted everything that was happening, especially when he took the finger that was inside you to his mouth and sucked, expression shifting into contentment. "You taste so good, baby. Imagine when you're coming for me."

"Richard John Grayson, if you don’t put— Fuck." The ensuing groan encompassed an ugly word. One of his fingers was still inside you while the other was pressed to your clitoris.

"How am I making you feel, huh?" he asked, despite knowing the answer as well as he knew your sweet spots. Adding another finger, Dick started looking for your G-spot, clitoris being well taken care of by his ring finger. Fuck, he was almost salivating by just thinking about eating you out, your taste, putting his tongue in the warm, wet place his fingers were, but for now, Grayson wanted to watch you enjoy yourself. It was in the way you bit your lip, whimpered for it and moved your hips to get more as if you didn't already have it all when it came to Dick Grayson. "Am I making you feel good?"

"I..." The weight on your chest worsened significantly, almost as if you had put a rock there. You mentally screamed at yourself. Fuck, out of all possible times, you had to be literally running out of breath while your pussy— Come on! The only good thing was that you knew your own body language well enough to quickly understand what was going on. "Dick, I can't breathe."

Dick, on the other hand, was too involved in taking you apart to reach the same conclusion as you.

"I’m making you breathless now?" Indigo eyes meet yours, full of lust. For a millisecond, you wondered if you could handle the random crisis, or if you could be confused about two different things with similar symptoms. That is until the shortness of breath had gotten worse. Fuck.

Well, the opposite of fuck now.

"No, Di— FUCK!" Feeling like the air wasn’t getting into your lungs and the fact that your boyfriend had just found a certain spot inside you while simultaneously rubbing your clitoris didn’t help you remember how to breathe. "I’m literally... My puffer!"

"Wh-- Oh my God, your inhaler!" Mentioning your little miraculous friend that wasn’t between his legs finally brought Detective Grayson's dormant instincts to the surface. He almost jumped away from you, hastily looking for the inhaler. "I'm sorry— I thought... Wait." The scene would be comical if you weren’t coughing in despair, gasping for air and yet simultaneously turned on. He found the puffer on the floor, beside the desk, and handed it to you. Relieved and mildly frustrated, you forced oxygen back into your body for a few moments. You forced yourself to calm down until the inhaler could be discarded next to Dick's book where it originally was.

You faced each other. What could be said? Sorry for forgetting how to breathe while you fingered me? Sorry for confusing your moans of "I can’t breathe’’ for "You’re making me breathless"? Can we agree never to use this expression again? So, I almost died, but am I still up for it? Is my cock still hard after your near-death experience?

For the second time in the evening, words were passed over to make room for another way of communication. The two of you burst out laughing, loud and scandalous. What the fuck just happened? A few good minutes later and you looked at Dick with a smile, your hand full of sin located on his thigh.

"We still got plenty of time. You know, quarantine perks."

Noises of 'you are unbelievable' from him were drowned out by a few more giggles, which soon gave way to corny moans. Perhaps the last two options were the right things to say.

[mav-wolf]

          MAVERICK RYKER WOLF.

gon·er /ˈɡônər/

a person or thing that is doomed or cannot be saved.

         BASICS.

Name: Maverick Ryker Wolf Nicknames: Mav Age: 30 years old Birthday: February 7th Zodiac: Aquarius Hometown: Detroit, Michigan Affiliation: Cortázar Cartel Occupation: Henchman Education: High School Dropout Relationship Status: Single Orientation: Pansexual / Greyromantic Children: None Pets: Shadow, bombay cat

         APPEARANCE.

Tattoos: Medusa’s head with white eyes on the back of his left hand, anubis on his right shoulder (like this), moon tarot card on his right tricep. Piercings: None. Scars: Small scar on his right eyebrow from hitting his head against a glass table; A few scattered scars from skateboarding and his job; Faded track marks on his arms and legs.

         PERSONALITY.

Traits: Introvert, sarcastic, cynical, anxious, careless, impulsive, loyal, can be manipulative, compassionate, too emotional or too emotionless, resourceful, addictive personality.

Habits: Tends to smoke a lot more when anxiety or cravings peak; Writes on his lighters so other people don’t steal them; Scratches his face or arms subconsciously when he’s nervous; Always finds time to go for a run.

         BIOGRAPHY.

Trigger Warnings: Drug use, abuse and addiction; Murder; Mental Illness.

♡  He was born at 3:36 AM on a friday and the first feeling he knows is rejection. When most parents have a child it’s something they’ve always wanted, their baby is someone they’ve anxiously been waiting to meet; yet Maverick and his brother were both accidents: unwanted and unwelcome. Their parents are too young, too reckless and too unwilling to give up the life they could still have for the lives they’ve created.

♡  The second thing he learns is that his brother is there and that seems to be the only constant. His presence is the only thing he knows to be an absolute truth no matter what, and it’s his presence that makes things a little more bearable.

♡  Their parents were present enough to ensure they’d survive but the older the two of them got, the more absent they became. They’re not there to walk the boys to school, help them with their homework or other trivial parental duties. Maverick was six and used to being alone with his brother by then. At least until the old lady who lived next door noticed that they were always alone and started coming over; bringing the boys food and spending some time with them.

♡  Maverick was fifteen and involved with all the wrong crowds. He’s not good with people and even worse at pretending to be; he’s quiet and selective, spends too much time in his own head. But that’s okay, his newfound friends accepted him for who he was and that was a good thing, he supposed, until their influence has him opening doors he should’ve never touched.

♡  The first door: Alcohol. It was socially accepted, easy, everyone did it, it was normal. But drinking for fun wasn’t good enough, a beer or two wasn’t good enough; it wasn’t good enough until everything was funny, until all his worries faded, until he could laugh in the face of his problems, until he was passed out and too far gone to think of anything else. It wasn’t a problem, not his poison, but it was where it all started.

♡  The second door was nicotine. It wasn’t a big deal and might not be what could kill him in the end, but it was the first sign that he falls a little too easily.

♡  Maverick was sixteen when Rosa, the old lady next door, died of natural causes. A couple days after, he and his brother come to the conclusion that there was nothing left for them there so they pack their bags and run away - their parents never looked for them.

♡  At the age of twenty four, he met a guy at one of his odd jobs that introduced him to the final door: heroine. And that, unfortunately, was his poison. For a while, he was a functioning user, going on with his life apparently well with just that small dose and he couldn’t really tell where it stopped being enough; the gradual increase in amount wasn’t even conscious as dependence developed into addiction and Maverick wasn’t quite sure who he was anymore, yet blissfully ignorant to his own misery. It was easier that way than to accept that he was the only one to blame for his impending decay, better than facing the embarrassment of going through his brother or significant other’s wallets when he thought they weren’t paying attention or picking pockets on the streets; all only so he could disappear for a few days at times and come back with some poorly formulated excuse.

♡  Years later, after he punched his brother bloody, Maverick finally decided to get help and went to rehab. He relapsed a couple times but finally did it, yet every day he wonders how long it’ll last. The problem was that he still owed a lot of money and his brother and him told the Cartel they couldn’t afford to pay - but they’d work to pay it off. So they did but, once their debt was paid for, the Cartel couldn’t just let them go at the risk of letting them talk - so they’ve been members ever since, the thought of anything happening to either of them if they chose to leave always keeping them from doing so.

♡  His brother remains involved with the drugs and Maverick has become a henchman for them. Life definitely didn’t turn that great for him but, honestly, he never did have high hopes.

         WANTED CONNECTIONS.

HIS BROTHER: The only constant in Mav’s life, his ride or die. The only person who knows Maverick in every aspect. They’re very, very close and would die for each other in a heartbeat. They’re best friends and whatever shit they go through, they go through together. Of course they argue at times, but they’d be nowhere without each other. Maverick, however, feels immense guilt for pulling his brother into this messy life.

HIS EX: Gender is open, but this is the first person Maverick’s ever loved (and the only one so far) but timing was terrible. They were together when Mav’s addiction was at its worst and he wasn’t even considering the possibility of getting sober. They left him because he pushed way too many limits.

CARTEL: Anything and everything??? Neither he or his brother are willing members, they got roped into it - but this has been his life for a while now and he’s just trying to do what he can do avoid even more trouble.

THE BAD INFLUENCE: Maverick’s always at the verge of relapse, talking himself out of it day after day but it’s a constant struggle. So this would be the person who keeps nudging him the wrong way and just might eventually give the final push.

OTHER: Honestly, anything else you can think of! I’m down for all the things.

[kill-your-authors]

SNK Rair Pair Week - Jeanconnie - Bad Weather

  (Rated M, CW for self-harm) 

          I woke this morning to find the apartment empty. I’d slept in, something I had already begun to do more often. Jean left a sticky-note on the remote letting me know he left to run a couple of errands. I sat on the couch, not quite ready to start my day.

           Rain pattered against the windows. It was the first rain of the season, that season being autumn. It had naturally rained many other times so far this year, but the first rain of autumn always stood out to me. I knew it was virtually indistinguishable from a rain that had happened two or three weeks ago, and I knew other people didn’t pay attention to the first rain of a season. People paid attention to the first snow of winter, but definitely not the first rain of autumn.

           It was different for me, because it marked the first day of the year I was susceptible to my seasonal depression, which happened, and had been happening, every year for as long as I could remember. When the skies turned a dreary gray, and leaves started to die, and grass turned yellow, and chilled rain doused the earth, I sunk into a darkness I was never able to claw my way out of entirely until spring, when the showers meant something else – the return of life. Flowers budding, animals coming out of hibernation, warmth permeating the air.

           Jean and I got together in the spring, and our infatuation had the most blissful afterglow through all of summer. By that fall, it wasn’t infatuation anymore. It wasn’t just liking the other a lot. A crush, a thing a fling. Whatever. He loved me by then, had to have, because he didn’t leave like everyone else I’d ever dated had, when they realized how far I wandered away from myself in fall. How difficult it was, to lure me back.

           Instead, we fought. We had gone months without the slightest hiccup, but after that first rain, we had our first fight – of many.

           The problem was, he wanted to help. Just like my parents, just like my siblings, just like my friends, just like my doctor, and just like my therapist, he wanted to help. And the problem with that was that he didn’t know what helping looked like. For him, helping meant fixing. If something was broken, you fixed it, right?

           But he couldn’t fix me. Not with doing more around the house. Not with working more often to pay more than his share. Not with surprising me with a vacation out of state. Not with helping me with my homework load. Not with giving me gifts, complimenting me, or doing all the work in bed. Nothing worked, and Jean didn’t know how to help if nothing could help, and when nothing could help, he got impatient. Frustrated. Angry.

           I wasn’t appreciated of him enough. I wasn’t happy with him. I must not love him anymore. I wasn’t putting enough effort into getting better.

           This eventually turned into I had no reason to be sad. I had a great life. A roof over my head, food in the fridge, running water, a warm bed. I was going to school for my dreams, not for money. My parents accepted me, accepted us, and were still in my life. I had a boyfriend who loved me, who would do anything for me, who was doing everything for me. What the fuck did I have to be sad about?

           By then, I almost wished he would leave like the others had. It would have been easier for both of us, and I wanted that, truly, I wanted that even for him, even after what he said. I understood. Over the years, I had seen what my depression did to others in my life. It was like a person drowning – sometimes they were so frantic to be saved, so desperate to get above the surface, that they pulled the lifeguard down with them. That was what I would do to others if I didn’t let myself drown in silence.

           Finally, I told him I was breaking up with him.

           “With me? You’re the one breaking up with me?” he spit. But I could see the fear in his eyes. The way his hands trembled.

           “Yeah, I guess,” I said.

           “’I guess’?” he repeated. “Wow. I – I must not mean very much to you. And after everything you’ve put me –”

           “That’s not it,” I said. My voice was monotone. It always was this time of year. If this was happening in the summer, I’d be sobbing.

           “Then what is?”

           “Because I don’t want to keep putting you through this,” I said. He wasn’t the first person in my life to have accused me of putting them through something. Like I would do this on purpose. Like I wanted this. Like I thought this was fun.

           Jean’s cheeks flared. “I’m sorry, Connie. It’s just hard.”

           “You’re telling me,” I said. “I have to live with it. I can’t just break up with it and set myself free. If it was that easy, believe me, I would.”

           Jean was quiet for a moment, breathing heavily, and then very purposefully, not as heavy. His fierce eyes went soft. “I would take it from you, if I could. I’m sorry I can’t.”

           This was the first he’d acknowledged that it wasn’t something he could fix. That I wasn’t something he could fix.

           “It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” I said.

           “It’s not yours either.”

           I shrugged.

           He sighed. “Please. I don’t want to breakup.”

           I arched an eyebrow. “You sure? It would make things a lot easier for you.”

           “No. It wouldn’t,” he said. “Living without you would not be easier, Connie.”

           My eyes teared up, but I blinked it back. I cried a lot during the fall, but silently, and in private. I didn’t want to cry in front of him right then especially. Not when I still wasn’t convinced this was the end. I needed him to believe I’d be okay without him, or he wouldn’t leave, and then all I’d be doing is holding him hostage.

           I cleared my throat. “This isn’t going away. It’s part of me. If you live with me, you live with it.”

           Jean nodded. His eyes met mine. They were rimmed red.

           “Tell me what to do,” he said. “I just – just need something I can do. Anything. I can’t just see you in pain and not – I can’t. It’s not in me.”

           I glanced out the window. It was dark and had been since I got home from work, which was well before dinner time. I hated the dark. The rain sounded like static.

           “I just need you to be there with me,” I said, quietly. “Wait it out. Like a storm.”

           Jean’s eyes widened in understanding. This made sense to him. He’d grown up in the Midwest just as I had. We both knew that when a storm hit, or a tornado, there was no running, no preventing, no minimizing the damage. All you could do was hunker down somewhere safe and wait for it to pass. Keep each other company while you did. Distract each other. Comfort each other.

           “Okay,” he said. “I can do that. I will do that.”

           And he had. The following fall was easier for him. Not for me, but for him. Most nights he held me for a long time, not saying anything. Letting me cry, letting me vent, letting me do nothing if that was what I wanted to do. He didn’t attempt do more than his share of work around the house, or increase his hours at his job, or pay more than half on our bills. But he didn’t get mad when he had to remind me to do something, or when I put off doing something that needed doing, or when I didn’t do something as well as I should have. He drove me to and from the therapist, and reminded me to journal, to take my meds, and to set timers to eat and go to bed. On one occasion, I cut myself, and he’d been distraught, but fought the instinct to yell while cleaning the wound for me. We didn’t fight.

           Halfway through winter, something changed. It became easier for me too. I didn’t continue to wander further from myself. I felt like I could finally keep my head – at least my nose – above water. I didn’t hurt myself again and never felt the need to. My doctor halved my dose shortly after the peak days of darkness in the winter. Instead of seeing my therapist three days a week, I saw her twice. It was the best I’d ever done. Jean wondered what was different, and I struggled to tell him that it both was and wasn’t because of him.

           It wasn’t because of him in the ways people thought, and the way he once thought it could be because of him. It wasn’t because we were just so in love, and he just made me so happy, and he was just so understanding and patient and caring that I just couldn’t be sad, which was what people thought should ease depression.

           It was because I wasn’t going through it alone.

           And ever since, it had been easier. Not gone, not fixed, not cured. But easier.

           I inhaled deeply, exhaled thoroughly, and smiled. I knew sadness was one its way, but it wasn’t here yet and wouldn’t stay forever, so I could be happy now. I walked across the living room and shut the curtains. Then I turned on the tv and turned the volume up so that I wouldn’t have to hear the rain.

           Shortly after, Jean walked through the front door, hoodie soaked and hair flinging like a dog.

           “Hey,” he said, smiling. He sat next to me on the couch and wrapped an arm around me. “You okay? You look okay. Why are you okay?”

           The first rain of the season meant something to him now too. I shrugged.

           “What’d you get?” I asked.

           He dropped the bag he was carrying and it slammed harder than I was expecting against the floor. “A sunlamp. A weighted blanket. Coffee. Sleep aids. And like – a whole carton of chocolate bars.”

           I grinned at him. “Stocking up for a storm?”

           He shrugged, bashfully, and looked away from me. “It’s that time of year.”

           I pulled his hand into mine and laced our fingers together. “I love you,” I said to him, but what I really meant was I love the way you love me.

[the-sparrow-sings]

TIMELINE FOR MY SPARROW’S HEADCANON

I want to write a LONG fic series about her life going into the Hero of Brightwall’s life; but I do not have the time/energy to commit to that right now, so here’s a vague timeline since I REALLY want to talk about it anyway lol

Pre-Game

• Her parents were infamous Pirates, Rayven(her father, Hero blood), and Catarina

• Reaver knew them as friends before the girls were born; even held Rose once as a baby(somewhat uncomfortably)

• They were forced by foul weather to dock near Bowerstone some time after Sparrow was born; Rayven was captured and hanged, Catarina escaped momentarily with the girls

• Catarina hands baby Sparrow(around 1 year old) to Rose and tells her to RUN, and SURVIVE; she is then captured; but no one is looking for the children so little Rose escapes with Baby Sparrow

Post-Childhood, Pre-Main Game

• Teresa has a hard and fast rule that Sparrow is not to leave the valley, and specifically not to go to Bowerstone. She is concerned that Sparrow will have her parents’ natural desire for adventure and sign onto a crew for a life of piracy

• Upon reaching Adulthood, Sparrow is frustrated by Teresa assuming she still makes the rules for her; and she sneaks off to visit Bowerstone for the first time since her childhood

• She spends the day/night having a gloriously rowdy time with a man she only knows as Captain/The Captain(Spoiler Alert, it’s Reaver) and she fully intends to join his crew

• He has no idea who she is, though he is immediately reminded of his old friends; and unknowingly recounts tails of her parents adventures to her. He is more than a little astonished that someone drew out the urge to discuss something other than himself

• They spend the night together above Bowerstone’s bar; waking up at the crack of dawn to Teresa standing in front of the bed

• She all but drags Sparrow home with her, leaving Reaver both disappointed and a bit relieved; he was not sure he liked that she stirred up something in him

During The Game

• Sparrow is a Rowdy Girl with a love of fine women, dangerous men, and banditry. She loves the rough&tumble bandit lifestyle, but is good hearted enough that she tends to change towns for the better; this is why she loves Bloodstone, it’s a hard town that never changes

• Feels pressured to marry Alex, and feigns happiness for his sake; trying her best to be busy with quests to avoid being near him

• The Spire all but wipes out her formally sweet nature; seeing her adopt a much darker world view; this is where she transitions to pure evil, and becomes much more direct with her wishes and underhanded with her plots

• At first, she flat out refuses to see Alex after The Spire; she doesn’t see the point of it, and figures if he had any good sense he’d have moved on, since she was never in love with him in the first place

• When Alex eventually catches up with her, she attempts to let him down very concisely, but his entitled behavior toward “his wife” ends with a knife in his gut, and a disgusted sneer on Sparrow’s face

• She recognizes Reaver right away, though she has changed too much for him to recognize her. Her heart aches for the innocent young woman she was when she last saw him

• He puts the pieces together of who she is when he first fights by her side; reminded of fighting alongside her Hero father

• The pair share a moment in that cave, seeming to begin something before the collapsing rocks urge them to keep running

End Game/Post Game, Pre Fable 3

• Reaver steals her kill from her, and she is devastated; her sad state only compounded when Hammer reacts harshly to her desire to bring back her own loved ones

• At the end of things, she finds herself alone again, Rose off who-knows-where, her dog her only companion

• Having grown up in exceeding poverty, she spends her time and her gold buying up property left and right, putting former greedy landlords to death

• On a whim she purchases Reaver’s home, keeping it clear of squatters for him

• She finds his first journal entry, and promptly seals them all away in a locked box, not wishing to invade his privacy

• By the time Reaver returns, Sparrow is Queen; and he is more than thrilled when he sees her summons, an elegantly tied scroll left on his bed; concise in her own handwriting, “Captain, I expect a visit when you return, I’m sure you don’t need my address; Sparrow”

• Now, Reaver is both intrigued and mildly frightened

• He enjoys the prospect of having a shag with the queen (and, though he won’t admit it, he has missed more than her body); but he knows she was...a bit cross with him for leaving so suddenly after that business with Lucien was sorted out

• He is concerned that she may kill him/have him put to death, but ultimately decides that the potential rewards far outweigh the risks (with a healthy dose of understanding that it could prove unwise to ignore a direct summons from the Queen)

• On first glance, Queen Sparrow is hardly the girl he remembers from the tavern, or even the shoot-first-talk-later hero who sauntered into Bloodstone a year ago

• Her rise to power coupled with her emotional isolation have left her bitter; a fair yet harsh ruler. She was loved by many for her low rent prices and the protection she offered; but she kept the nobility on a very short leash, and had little patience for those who would waste her time

• That said, she did seem to be focused on keeping up appearances; at least, Reaver could scarcely believe all the exquisite finery and pompous ceremony was her doing

• Had he not been so gifted with perception, Reaver would have failed to pick up on the tiny cracks in her collected facade upon their public meeting

• She declared him her newest advisor, citing his heroic blood, worldly knowledge, and instrumental role in Lucien’s downfall as credentials enough

• When she received him in her private chambers however, the public mask of Royalty slipped away as she all but pounced him

• After a while, Reaver playfully tosses around the idea of them having a true public relationship; and Sparrow turns him down flat; refusing to make a toy of her heart

• Reaver does not quite understand why he feels disappointed; after all, he’s got a position of High Power in Albion now, and he gets to warm the Hero Queen’s bed with very few strings attached...he should be thrilled

• Eventually, Sparrow faces pressure (both domestic and foreign) to marry

• Reaver offers his “services”, talking of what a good king he would make, but Sparrow refuses on the grounds that his former life of piracy did not amuse every foreign power, and making him king could potentially amount to a declaration of war

• She marries some nobody from the aristocracy; the relationship, as well as the king’s power, being little more than an elaborate puppet show

• Reaver absolutely loathes the king; “Sparrow only has room for one pompous, arrogant, bastard in her life; and it sure as hell isn’t this spindly Lordling”

• The marriage certainly complicates Sparrow and Reaver’s cladenstine appointments; and his unexpected negative feelings almost push him to leave Sparrow’s Court

• Until she comes to his quarters one night, looking frantic and desperate; like she had been pacing around and pulling at her hair

• The king has demanded children, and old Albion Royal Law/Tradition demands she comply; Sparrow however, absolutely refuses to birth that man’s weak and “noble” offspring

• She asks Reaver to give her a child in secret; she assures him that he will have absolutely no fatherly obligations; but if she must bare children(which she knew from her vision of the future was inevitable) she wanted them to be strong with the blood of heroes

• Eventually, Reaver accepts, and Sparrow is sure that the child inside her is his

• Reaver does his best to avoid spending time with her, he has spent centuries avoiding these connections for a reason, after all

• But he can’t shake the hate in his heart each time he sees the king look so prideful of his impending heir

• The Baby is born with a thick tuff of black hair, and thankfully, is Sparrow’s spitting image as he grows

• Reaver does his best to avoid Logan, truly stepping in for the first time when the boy comes up missing

• Sparrow puts together the ransom at once, not willing to risk her child’s life with her usual bravado

• At the same time, Reaver uses his underworld connections to easily sniff out the kidnappers; going in secret to collect the boy before Sparrow even has a chance to leave the castle

• Reaver holds his son for the first time as he ends the lives of the scum who took him with a vengeance

• From that point on, Reaver is focused on watching over the boy; if from a distance

• He becomes prone to undermining the king when he is trying to teach some bullshit Strict Lesson to young Logan; cutting the king down with remarks of how Reaver has SEEN tactics like his in action...and they never bode well

• Reaver does not truly admit to himself his fatherly feelings however, until Sparrow accidentally becomes pregnant

• A little girl with beautiful brunette curls, who stares back at him with his own eyes; when he holds her for the first time, she squeezes his finger tight, and he knows he would move the earth for this child

• Princess Ophelia is a happy girl, running around the castle with very few unpleasantries like “rules” or “structure”, thanks to her intimidating “Uncle” Reaver pushing around the king and anyone else who would dare stifle her

• The King however, does not take kindly to Reaver’s increased intrusion on “his” family; becoming obsessively strict with the children each chance he gets

• Reaver doubles down on his mischief, often making a point to whisk the children away to festivals and other fun outings

• He is overcome with pride when little Ophelia proves to be a crack shot at the carnival’s various shooting games

• Once, a tiny Ophelia ran to him crying because she wished Reaver was her father instead of the king

• Sparrow has to intervene more than once when Reaver decides he wants to outright murder the king

• The king tries to put his foot down with Sparrow; demanding that Reaver be removed from Court and sent away

• Sparrow laughs at him, before recounting the tail of her first husband; and reminds him of the very strict limits to his own power

The Death of Sparrow

• Some time after Logan reaches his teenage years, the Queen is mysteriously assailed by a sudden and dire illness

• In my personal timeline-The Sickness is actually a curse laid on her by Teresa for refusing to follow her directive any longer; but this isn’t revealed until my Post-Fable 3 Plotline

• Reaver sits by Sparrow’s bed as she lay dying- truly and wholly distraught for the first time in centuries

• She grips his hand suddenly, with all the feeble strength she can muster, and the look in her eye tells him that the time he has dreaded is upon them

• She begs-orders him to watch over their children

• He pulls her into his arms. “Sparrow, I need you to know, I love-”

• “No,” she hisses, faint as a breath. “You don’t.”

• He is devastated by her final words. For the first time in perhaps centuries, he has decided to open his heart and admit those words...and she didn’t believe him...and now it’s too late to prove it

• He spends much of his time in the days following her death obscenely intoxicated-more than usual, trying to wipe away the regret he feels for not making her feel loved while she was alive

• Reaver comes to her balcony often, to look out over Albion in the cool night air-and consider hopefully-perhaps foolishly- that the wind ghosting his hair against his cheek is more than just an act of nature

• One night, he arrives to find the king standing in his usual spot; and perhaps it is his own melancholy that moves him-but he actually believes the king has come to mourn

• Until he speaks to him of course. The king is only in the room to decide how he wishes to redecorate it for when he takes a new wife to be queen

• Reaver is enraged by how casually the king speaks; how quickly he thinks to replace Sparrow. His mind fills with the image of some power hungry political climber marrying this idiot for the crown

• Reaver was no stranger to political intrigue. How often did new royals arrange for the tragic deaths of their stepchildren, so that their own children might have a better chance of inheriting the crown? Reaver could not take that chance

• One bullet, ringing off into the night, was all it took to send the King’s corpse crumpling unceremoniously to the ground

• Eventually, Reaver is captured, and Walter(as chief among Sparrow’s advisors) personally orders(and intends to carry out) his execution; however he is stopped by the arrival of the young-now king-Logan

• Ignoring everyone, Logan crouches down to where the guards have forced Reaver to kneel, and simply tells Reaver that he knows, before ordering everyone to leave them in private

• As it turns out, Logan had taken the task of sorting through his late-mother’s things when he stumbled upon Reaver’s journals-and an entry that makes note of his feelings for her

• Following that discovery, Logan had done diligent research and digging; and had come to the conclusion that he and his sister were almost definitely the result of Reaver’s long term affair with their mother

• He demands Reaver tell him everything, and surprisingly, Reaver does. He comes clean about it all-everything from the Court of Shadows to Sparrow’s dying wish

• This is why Logan trusts Reaver to remain his advisor

• The secret of their parontage is kept from Ophelia however. After all, it was a secret for a reason, and she was so young at the time that she could hardly be counted on to protect such a secret; she doesn’t learn Reaver is her father until breaking into his home in search of information

• No longer in danger of execution, Reaver feels he has no choice but to down a bottle or two of fine wine, and write to his former companions of Sparrow’s death

• He keeps it very short. He wasn’t their friend-he wasn’t even on good terms with them

• “She’s Gone; R.” Is all the letters say, and they think him callous and uncaring for it; but they cannot see the waste bin of crumpled papers where his writing had been shaky in his grief or the tears stained the pages

OKAY THAT’S WHERE I AM GOING TO STOP BECAUSE BEYOND THAT WE START REACHING INTO FABLE 3 TERRIROTY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING THIS

[basicgrayson]

A couple of days ago was my 2 months on T! I didn't get around to posting because it literally fell on my husband's birthday and I was super busy (we had a big family BBQ and I did ALL the grilling lol rip legs). Anyway, here's the changes so far!

1. Muscle mass: still slowly getting bulkier, but my weight is fluctuating a lot. I keep gaining and losing the same 4 lbs lol I haven't been working out as much as I'd like to. Not even close. Oddly my muscles, especially in the arms, still feel sore? Weird.

2. Hair: Body hair is increasing very slowly. Anyone who isn't me wouldn't notice a difference. Most of the filling in is occurring on my legs, and the course hairs I already had seem to be longer now. As for my face, I shaved everything off about a month ago, and it seems to have fully grown back. My mustache especially is looking very full, though the hairs are still just peach-fuzz. My chin has a lot more hair now, though I still only have maybe 4-5 thicker ones. Here's a few progress pics:

3. Acne: there's more of it now, but it varies in where it pops up. One week it'll be my face breaking out, next week my back, the following week my chest, etc. Kind of grateful for that tbh... I prefer that to having it all over all at once lol right now I'm using a salicylic acid based face scrub combined with the toner and benzoyl peroxide lotion from a proactive kit. That seems to work better for me than benzoyl peroxide alone. Still not great though tbh 🙃

4. Bottom growth: it is still happening, but not nearly as uncomfortable as it was at first. I'd say it's maybe at least a 30% increase as of now.

5. Chest size: decreasing still, but at a much slower pace than month one. I'm so much more comfortable walking around in just a tank top around other people, and I will sometimes go topless when I'm alone. Most importantly, my chest is still PAIN FREE and it looks like it's going to stay that way!

6. Monthly cycle: is gone! The very last one happened about a week and a half after starting T, and notably, was a week early. Since then it's been nearly 2 months with no sign of it returning. Hopefully it stays that way!

7. Sex drive: there has been an increase lol I wouldn't say it's hyper-active... it's hard to gauge because I think I've always had a high sex drive tbh. However, I feel like huz and I are really just... enjoying ourselves a lot more lol. Like, the vibe is different if that makes sense.

8. Voice: has dropped quite a bit! I do voice recordings on the weekly and monthly marks. The one I did for the two month mark surprised me, and when I went back to listen to the very first recording I did, I was blown away! I can't believe I used to sound like that! The way I sound now just seems so natural to me... I feel like that's the way my brain always thought I sounded... Idk it's hard to explain lol but it seems like my voice and my brain are finally starting to align and I am over the moon about that.

That's about all I can think of at the moment. Still no appetite increase or mood swings. According to my doctor the dose I'm on is considered low (100mg/2 weeks) so I don't know if that's why. Honestly though, I'm fine with the pace of my changes right now.

On another note, I finally got a prescription for my T, so starting in late July I'll be poking myself, so that's fun. The needles they gave me are really long and scary and intramuscular is kinda intimidating lol so I'm probably going to get some smaller ones and do subq, as I think I'd be much more comfortable with that. So we'll see how that goes.

On to month 3!

[transformers-trash-fan]

this is x reader

And WHOO Boy! This took FOREVER and not all of them follow your request sorry about that. I tried to make them all interesting and you didn’t ask for any Bots in particular sooo.....I kinda got carried away with it. Sorry for the lack of ‘Cons but I had no ideas. And personally I think some are better then others I hope you enjoy

I also apologize for any dash clogging this dose because it’s so long

Autobots

Optimus

He always knew that you were strong and he found it quite interesting and admired you for training your strength

That being said, he didn’t realize how strong you actually are. So when he walked into the base and saw you doing deadlifts with forge of Solus prime he was Understandably shocked and confused

After you notice him you explain that you were looking for something that was a bit more challenging then the weights at your gym but even such an artifact proved too weak to quell your boredom

Well first he asked you to not “play” with the large hammer anymore. And then he had you sent to Ratchet to figure out exactly how you can carry such a thing without breaking a sweat

Bumblebee

He’s seen you workout at the base and is always impressed has, and will watch you if he has nothing else going on

One day you’re looking around for something; so he asks you what you’re looking for

“My weights aren’t heavy enough so I’m looking for a substitute” you look up at Him.. “actually, can you transform for a second?”

He is Absolutely confused but dose it anyway because you’re his s/o obviously anyway he almost screams when he feels you pick him up

Buzzing like crazy, sort of scared mostly confused. Wait why are laughing... stop laughing and answer him...

“Please! You’re child’s play... you wanna see something really cool?”

Smash cut to you holding WheelJack, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, and all the kids over your head just walking around like it’s nothing

Next time you and bee go on patrol you’re driving... or walking

Bulkhead

You, him and Miko were out on patrol in the mountains

And you know those two, so obviously you were listening to some hard rock with the volume all the way up, and the windows closed so not fun on your ears so you hopped out to walk for a little while

After you guys all got to a clearing Bulkhead transformed and told you and Miko to stay there while he went on. Because Raf said that there was a risk of a rockslide

Miko was still listening to her music when it hit an exceptionally loud drum solo which Miko played along with hitting some nearby rocks, loosening them directly above A campsite

You dove in front of the large boulders stopping them from rolling but you had already slid over halfway to the site.

By this time Bulkhead and Miko ran down to meet you Miko Freaking our a bit but when they got to you. You were sort chilling sitting on said boulders

Both Bulkhead and Miko were freaking asking you how you survived and how you moved the boulders

“ they weren’t that heavy, honestly I’ve carried worse” “WHAT?!?” “no way!”

They are both very impressed

Ratchet

He was busy doing (whatever he dose all day idk) and you were helping him... well “helping” as much as he’d let you

You kept telling him that you’d be more then capable to help but he just scoffed and continued to work.

so you were left to fiddle with whatever you could find eventually you got bored and decided to do some reading the only problem is that when you pulled your book out of your bag you dropped your favorite pen

So of course you climbed down to get it, but Ratchet didn’t notice so needless to say when he feels something pick him up he yelled causing you to stumble back and drop him

”don’t yell like that!” “Don’t pick me up!” It took him a few seconds to register what he just said and what the heck had just happened....”h-how?” “How what?” “How did you pick me up?” .....“Why did you pick me up?!?”

You just shrugged “my pen rolled and you almost broke it” he nodded for a second before he got a confused look again “but...how?” You shrugged again

Welp looks like you finally get to help! But this isn’t exactly what you ment you thought as Ratchet hooked you up to all sorts of monitors oh well... at least you didn’t hurt him

WheelJack

You and him were just riding around in the Jackhammer when a couple of ‘cons got on your tail. You two were able to escape unharmed but can’t say the same for the Jackhammer. The damage caused sent the ship spiraling into the base of a mountain

Thankful Jackie being a good pilot he was able to keep the ship from a crash landing... not that it was a good landing but nether of you were hurt

“Ugh; you ok (y/n)?” “Yeah I’m fine; You?” “A little banged up but fine. Can’t say the same for the Jackhammer though”

Jackie gets the door to open and you two walk outside to get a scale of the damage... it’s not good

“Scrap” “How are we going to fix this!?” “*sighs* well, I should probably start by movin some of these rocks pinning the wings” “We” “Hm?” “We should start moving the rocks” He chuffs “We? How exactly are you going even nudge one of those?” 

You just walk over to one of the rocks and pick it up and throw it past Jackie’s head

“Ok then!”

Deceptcons

Megatron

Of course the one time you ask to go with megatron to Check on an Energon mine is the time when the Autobots get the bright idea to show up

(Long chase and fight scene later) You and megatron get corners in part of the mine by Optimus

Obviously you don’t really wanna be on the receiving end of the Prime’s blade

You grab the biggest rock you can comfortably hold and chuck it at Optimus with all your strength.

The impact and shock from what happened knocked Optimus a few steps back

That moment of Distraction was enough to allow Megatron to nail Optimus into the wall before transforming and escaping with you in tow  

He’s thankful that you helped him, though he probably won’t tell you for a while

Definitely has Shockwave examen you

Shockwave

He observes you working out in his lab... you seem to do it all the time

He obviously already knows how strong you are so watching you work out causes him to ask questions

“Since you are already quite powerful, why do you work so hard to increase yourself so little?”

“Because it’s fun?”

.....

“Your actions are....  illogical”

[starstruck-xavier]

Sleepy

ao3 || wattpad || fanfic masterpost || main masterpost || inspired by this thread

@harmonious-honeycomb​ and @justtrashperson​ i hope you like this <33 i had a lot of fun writing this! i’m sorry it took a few days but i finally managed to finish it just now aha

words: 1939 ships: lamp (romance not implied but you can view it however you want) warnings/tags: panic attack described from virgil’s pov but he’s all okay in the end, anxiety medication (but it has a good effect!)

Virgil was going to be on edge all day.

It never had to be for any reason in particular, but it would’ve made it easier to tackle the anxious tremors from the core if Virgil actually had something to say when each side came to him throughout the day asking “What’s wrong?”. First, it had been Logan, ever observant, who found Virgil sat on the counter next to the coffee machine in the morning, noting how his makeup looked just a little more intense than usual and how his hands trembled slightly around his favourite mug.

“Is that your first coffee, Virgil?” Logan asked gently, willing the coffee machine to not be as loud as usual while he made his own.

“Uh, yeah.” The nervous trait took a hesitant sip of his drink; he suddenly found it rather difficult to maintain eye contact. “Why do you ask?”

Logan kept an eye on the underlying shakiness of the ball of nerves in front of him. “You seem particularly anxious today. Is anything troubling you?”

And then Virgil thought. He’d woken up feeling a pit of nervousness in the bottom of his stomach, but that was the usual for him as the embodiment of anxiety itself, so he hadn’t given it a second thought. However, the longer he pondered, the more he realised the feeling had worsened, but there was no particular thing bothering him. Virgil racked his brains desperately for an answer but still came up empty.

Upon not receiving a response, Logan placed one hand on the counter, just close enough to Virgil in case he wanted to take it. “Virge?”

Virgil snapped out of his train of thought. “Oh, I… I don’t know. I just feel like something really bad’s gonna happen.” He spoke in his usual whisper-grumble as he stared at the half-empty mug in his hands.

“It’s normal for you to feel that way, Virgil.” Logan finally took his own mug from the coffee machine, setting it on the counter to let it cool. “However, I can assure you that as long as everyone works together today to make Thomas’ day productive and happy, there’s a very small chance that something terrible will happen. Try to let that reassure you.” He spoke softly, watching Virgil with care as if he were a fragile sculpture. “Even if you still feel nervous, that’s okay. Would you like me to let everyone else know so that we don’t accidentally scare you?”

After a few seconds, Virgil hummed in affirmation. “Thanks, Logan.” He didn’t need to smile to convey his thankfulness, and Logan understood.

“No problem. Try to take it easy today, and remember the breathing techniques.” The logical trait picked up his mug and gave Virgil a reassuring glance before pausing. “Do you want me to accompany you for a little longer?”

Virgil quickly drank the rest of his coffee and set the mug aside. “I— I don’t mind.” He bit back his smile. Logan always knew just what to do without making a huge deal out of it, likely learning from past experiences of nervous days like this. It was those little things he always remembered that put Virgil at ease.

They both sat in silence for a few more minutes. The quiet was nice; Virgil was starting to wake up fully and Logan got to savour these few moments of peace before Roman and Patton inevitably started making noise. Not that either of them minded this, but they often missed the quiet, serene mornings. While it didn’t lower Virgil’s anxiety levels, however, it kept them at a constant, which was at least better than panicking so early in the morning and distressing Thomas.

It was a couple of hours later, after breakfast, that Virgil knew this would be a tough day for himself and Thomas.

Logan had told Patton and Roman to keep it down today, and they’d never object to something that would make Virgil feel better, so the quietness and soft smiles followed them all throughout the mind palace. As opposed to bursting into song and dance at any moment, Roman hummed to himself pleasantly as he made his way around and Patton tried his best not to skip around noisily or appear out of nowhere. In fact, it was Patton who chanced upon the anxious side as he sat on the couch in the common room, looking more troubled than before.

“Hey, kiddo.” He called, not too loud, as he made his way over to sit next to him. “How are you feeling?”

Virgil looked up from his phone with a sad look on his face. “Hi, Pat. I’m…” He started to pull at his sleeves absentmindedly with a sigh. “Anxious.”

Patton watched, looking concerned. “Do you want a hug?” He held out his arms, allowing Virgil to lean into his touch. “It’s all gonna be okay, Virge.” The nervous trait breathed shakily in Patton’s embrace as he let the warm feeling distract him from the growing pit of dread within him.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Thomas was taking deep breaths.

He knew that bad days could happen without much reason, so he didn’t want to trouble Virgil too much by summoning him, knowing that he was probably having just as bad a day as him. Still, he wanted to ask for Virgil’s permission before taking the anxiety medication that sat on the shelf, waiting for these nervous spikes. They could make the nervous trait feel quite sleepy, nothing too bad, but if Virgil suddenly started feeling tired he’d be confused and a little scared himself. Thomas didn’t want to do that to him without letting him know first; he’d wait until he felt a dose was more needed, though, as it didn’t feel like his anxiety had peaked yet.

That would come another few hours later.

Since no one was doing much that day, it allowed for Patton and Virgil to cuddle for quite some time. At some point, Patton had turned on Adventure Time on the television and Virgil was trying to focus on it, but he just couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of his heart rate increasing until he couldn’t even try to ignore it. A sense of dread overwhelmed him and he didn’t even know why, or how, or for how long. He found himself looking around, vigilant for any signs of danger, completely blocking out the fact that any possible monsters or end-of-the-world scenarios would be imaginary and could be conjured away.

“Virge?” Patton’s voice cut through the chaos, redirecting Virgil’s eyes to his. “Breathe in, kiddo.”

Virgil attempted to hold his breath, but his lungs short-circuited; the air came rushing out again and back in, back out, too fast…

“Hey, hey, Virgil. Look at me, bud.” He opened his eyes, not remembering when he’d even closed them. Patton’s worried face looked hazy before him. “It’s all gonna be okay, yeah?” His voice sounded like static. Virgil tried to bring the air into his lungs again, only holding on for a second before it escaped him again.

Suddenly, more voices could be heard around him.

“Patton, we need to tell Thomas to take his medication.”

“Roman, please can you stay with Virge?”

“Virgil, it’s me, Roman. can you look at me?”

Virgil had his eyes squeezed shut again, feeling lost as soon as Patton’s touch left him, but then almost immediately he felt a different pair of hands in his hair. On his hands. When did his hands start gripping at his hair? The hands softly squeezed his own until he let go of his locks.

“Take a deep breath in. I’ll count for you, okay?” A familiar voice reached his ringing ears. He could feel a heartbeat under his hands - his eyes opened once again to reveal Roman coming into focus. The prince had kneeled down on the floor in front of Virgil and pressed his hands against his own chest, letting him feel his sash and how his chest expanded and contracted so easily. He gasped the air into his lungs, a little faster than Roman’s counting, but managed to hold his breath for just a little longer than last time before it all rushed out. “Can you hear me, stormcloud?” Roman spoke clearly in his attempt to get Virgil to respond. The nervous trait nodded, still visibly shaking and breathing raggedly. “Do you know where you are?”

“The—“ Virgil stammered breathlessly, blinking rapidly in order to keep focus. He barely acknowledged his tempest tongue. “The mind palace?”

Roman nodded calmly. “That’s right, you’re in the common room. You’re having an anxiety attack. Can you take a couple more deep breaths?”

Virgil breathed in as deeply as he could until his lungs couldn’t expand any further. He held his breath while Roman counted to seven, then successfully exhaled slowly until he’d counted to eight. As opposed to the royal trait’s usual boisterous, loud theatrics, his voice sounded quiet and focussed. He held Virgil’s hands gently and directed him through his breathing in a way that released the tension from his shoulders. After a few minutes, he sighed deeply, suddenly feeling rather drowsy.

“Are you okay, Virge?” Roman let go of Virgil’s hands but touched his own to the anxious side’s knees.

“Mm,” He hunched over and stifled a yawn. “Sleepy.”

He registered Roman’s fond smile. “Patton and Logan went to talk to Thomas. He must’ve taken his anxiety meds by now, so you’ll be getting sleepy.”

As if on cue, Patton and Logan rose up again in Virgil’s peripheral. Patton rushed over to sit next to him while Logan stood by Roman’s side, seemingly monitoring for any symptoms other than the sudden decrease in energy. Just in case.

“How are you feeling, kiddo?” Patton watched Virgil’s eyes droop slightly, then force themselves back open.

“He’s tired already.” Roman answered for him. “Maybe he’ll get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

Logan smiled slightly at the remark. “He definitely will. Thank you for calming him down, Roman.”

Patton hummed in agreement. Roman looked bashful but proud of himself as he rubbed calming circles into Virgil’s knees with his thumbs.

“No problem, specs.”

The four of them spent the rest of the day together, picking up where Virgil and Patton had left off watching Adventure Time. Logan didn’t seem entirely interested and was frankly confused by the cartoon logic, but Virgil had ended up with his legs across those of the logical trait, so he didn’t want to disturb him by leaving. Besides, it brought him peace to know that Virgil wasn’t mentally suffering any longer. The rest of Virgil’s body laid across Roman with his head in Patton’s lap, not feeling like he was actually going to fall asleep just yet but still looking like he was on the brink of slumber. Occasionally Roman would tease him on how cuddly he got when he was tired, and Virgil would shoot back with his usual retorts, only hindered by the lethargic slur of his words. Patton found himself carding his hands through Virgil’s soft hair after some time, and Logan couldn’t help but run his hands up and down his legs for additional comfort. Meanwhile, Roman held one of his hands in his own. It felt wonderful. No one could blame him when he eventually dozed off like this, his quiet breaths barely heard over the low volume of the television, earning fond looks between Logan, Patton and Roman.

Sometimes Virgil would wake up feeling panicked for no particular reason, but it was all okay as long as he got to fall asleep like this in the end.

[elfpuddle]

It’s been a hot minute since I shared, so I’ll take a moment now to do it. I don’t know how to do the “read under the cut”, so I apologize for the huge block of text appearing on your dash. For those of you who are new, a little context: Instead of dealing with a pandemic, hording, and whatever else was going on last year, I was busily going from doctor to doctor trying to learn why my body suddenly had such severe edema that my feet were actually ovals (as one example...the edema was full body), why I suddenly had such intense foot pain that I could not stand without feeling like I was being tortured, and more. From April to July, I was bed ridden, trying to keep my feet above my heart. I left the bed to walk six feet back and forth to the bathroom, a trip that took 30 minutes because of the pain, and to go to doctor appointments. We discovered that I have hyperparathyroidism, causing hypercalcemia, causing gout-like pain in my feet. I have a full team of doctors working on me, and had scheduled surgery twice last November and December. Both were canceled--the second because my parathyroid and calcium levels were too good; the surgical team had no measure to judge when to stop the surgery.

Since then, I’ve added another doctor, a podiatrist, to the team, because the foot pain simply wasn’t getting better the way my blood levels said it should, and the feet/calf edema was still persistent.

My podiatrist had given me a prescription for a topical arthritis ointment for my feet. It took a few days, but I developed a really "lovely" coating of hives. Yes, I stopped using it and added another drug to my list of allergies. My doctors and I decided that coping with the anxiety and depression caused by the hyperparathyroidism wasn't good enough any more. I'm now taking Prozac, and am much the better for it. I've slept better in since then than I have in over a year, and am much more my normal self. (My dreams are really super odd and vivid, but I'm getting used to my sleeping brain on drugs. I don't actually recommend that part, but I'll deal with it since the rest is so much better.) The xrays of my feet showed that some of my bones to be nearly transparent. Not in the ghost-like way of all xrays...actually not enough bone where bones should be. There was enough calcium in my veins that some of them showed up in the xray. This really disturbed the podiatrist, who ordered a bone density scan and an MRI. Also concerning was the way my left calf, ankle, and heel bones were jammed so tightly together that they overlapped.

My bone density scan technician, for reasons I cannot quite comprehend, didn't scan my feet, which are the area of prime concern. In good news, the rest of me is normal, so my parathyroid isn't extracting calcium from everywhere, nor do I have osteoporosis (yet?). My MRI was much more informative. I have a page and a half of information that, in a nutshell, means that my talus and calcaneus (ankle bones) have bruises and microfractures. I have plantar fasciitis with no tear, two heel spurs, mild/moderate arthritis in my feet, and most likely sinus tarsi syndrome shown by the complete loss of fat cushion in the tarsal sinus (hollow of ankle bones). In sum, for those of you like me that are not experts in the area, my parathyroid has been eating the calcium out of my feet and ankle bones. This, combined with arthritis in the feet and the swelling of the band of tissue that runs along the bottom of my feet, helping connect toes to heel, caused itty bitty fractures in the heel. In addition, it caused the tissues that are supposed to cushion the bones from scraping against each other to compress, deteriorate, and otherwise go away. All the feet and ankle swelling I've had hasn't been fluid building up, but a combination of feet tissues being pushed out of where they should be and swelling from the things that are broken and hurting (much like a jammed or broken finger will swell up until it heals). The cushion rearranging is why I've been so unsteady on uneven ground and steps; my ankle doesn't quite have the ability to deal with anything other than a perfectly flat surface. Usually, one would increase their vitamin d and calcium to help the body fix itself and get the nutrients that have left. But my hyperparathyroidism is causing hypercalcemia, both making too much calcium and depleting my body of it at the same time. Adding more isn't going to help as much as it should. I’m adding a bit more vitamin D to my drug schedule, and some vitamin C. My rheumatologist would add even more of both if it were possible, as the two of them will help rebuild collagen, which is the major ingredient in my missing tissues. I’m also continuing to wear compression socks, but increasing the pressure, to support feet and ankles and make sure that the swelling is minimized. (Like wrapping that jammed finger.) I’ve got a new pair of shoes that have a “rocker bottom” (be careful googling that) like a walking cast, so that my feet and ankle bones stop jamming together when I walk. The shoes have the most arch support I’ve ever seen. I've also got a list of exercises to do for the plantar fascitis to strengthen those tissues and keep them from getting too stiff from the swelling. While the parathyroid is causing havoc, there isn't a lot else to do other than monitor the situation. Unless I show symptoms of getting worse instead of holding steady or getting better, I next have my parathyroid and calcium levels checked in early July. There's three ways it could go: 1) Everything gets better and my body heals. That's not likely, but I do believe in miracles. 2) Everything stays the same...levels slightly elevated, but so close to "normal" that I'm not a candidate for surgery. 3) Levels get high enough, and I get sick enough, that surgery is necessary. I've been bouncing back and forth among the three for a year, so that's not really news. In good news, HubbyTMC and I both got the second doses of our Pfizer Covid vaccines. He was tired and achy in that "I'm coming down with something but don't really have a fever or anything specific" sort of way for a few days. I was hit by a nap rather suddenly a few hours after my shot. That exhaustion lasted for less than 24 hours, and otherwise I had no reaction whatsoever. Huzzah! I have my spiffy new rockerbottomarchsupportarthritisandeverythingelsegoingonsupport shoes. I wear them everywhere and they are helping. They also make me feel even taller than normal, since I'm wearing shoes while HubbyTMC isn't. And without them, I’m a hair under 6′, so this is a fun development. Yesterday, for the first time in a year, I got to go to Mass. I hugged my village of friends. I hung out at their house, just like I did every Sunday before my body went to hell. My village (the two of us, and three other married couples and their ten living children, as well as all the members of the Church Triumphant who hang with us, including our miscarried children) got to go to lunch after Mass and be together as the family we are. GoddaughterHufflePunk took solicitous care of me. She’s Six-and-A-Half, so I got to sit at the border of the adult side of the table, and the children’s side of the table, which is where I belong. My spiritual and emotional health is on the path to healing. Thank God for vaccines and all the people who got them to me. This has been a hard year for a lot of you, too, in ways different than my problems, but just as soul crushing. Know that I'm praying for all of you, and hoping that you are finding light at the end of your tunnels.  Thank you for your continued prayers. I know that they are helping.